


Yet again with a little extra help

by Irishshift



Series: Third fang verse [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Epic Length, F/M, Major Character Injury, Original Character(s), Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 76
Words: 1,248,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26262340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Irishshift/pseuds/Irishshift
Summary: Things didn't go so well this time after Danzo betrayed konoha and joined Akatsuki. As the Kyubi was being removed from Naruto however, an unexpected stranger arrived to change all for the better... maybe. NaruHina timetravel some oc please review
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Third fang verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1911202
Comments: 7
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link to the profile of the original author I'm just posting this here with their permission

Chapter 1: Bad booze and a burning reset button

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all Original Characters (OCs) in the story.

This is my first fanfic, blah blah blah. Lots of spoilers, but I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the fillers from the pre time skip part of the series. If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

"blah blah" : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

o. o. o.

It was all over.

The remains of the final battle with Akatsuki could be seen for miles around within the borders of the Land of Fire. Craters littered the devastated landscape, occasionally occupied by the corpses of to those unfortunate enough to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. However, this is not where the end begins.

Several miles from the border was a cave. Inside lay the nearly dead remains of the Konoha 12, minus Naruto and Sasuke, plus Sai, Yamato, Konan, Shizune, Gaara and Kakashi. (Sasuke and most of his team had disappeared in the middle of the battle while fighting Team 10, when a tsunami summoned by Kisame missed his target and slammed into the area.) Their bodies lay sprawled around the cavern as they were held down by ROOT forces, unable to take their eyes off of the horror that was occurring in front of them.

A giant, nine eyed head gazed blankly into space, its ringed hands cupped as if holding something precious. It was a monstrous revenant, stuck half risen from the grave.

Five shadowed figures stood on top the fingers, each grinning, exulting in their imminent victory. Suigetsu, Kisame, Zetsu, Danzō and Madara were busy focusing their chakra, as a heroic orange clad idiot slash demon container was slowly losing that last title. Each member looked as if they had been put through a blender, their clothes somehow holding together and their bodies in little better shape, but their smirks counteracted what their bodies presented.

The final battle was initially a stalemate, going in favor of the Konoha forces due to Kisame's initial screw up, but Danzō and his loyal ROOT forces switched sides on the last second, much to everyone's surprise. The man was notorious for being underhanded, but Konoha's forces didn't expect their newly elected Hokage to betray his own forces at the last moment. Needless to say tempers were high and morale was low.

This is where the story begins, and ends.

o. o. o.

As he floated in the middle of what he would describe as the most boring place in the universe, next to Iruka's classes, only one thought was going through Naruto's mind:

"Was this what Gaara went through? Three days of this is torture, let alone five! No wonder he died, I mean sure the guy is as strong and awesome as me, but honestly! This place is driving me NUTS!"

After about two days into the extraction process, Naruto was taking a break from trying to get out of whatever the hell he was in. Sure, he was captured, about to die, and on the verge of a tyrannical new world order, but he dealt with his panic and depression 21 hours ago due to one of his unspoken promises to himself to never go down the path of the emo. He had seen what it did to Sasuke, and he did NOT want that to happen to him.

He was about to attempt to try Sage Mode yet again and try to blow something, if there was anything at all, up (whether it was to see if it would work or simply because blowing things up is fun as hell is anyone's guess) when he felt a huge presence come from right behind him. Whipping around, he turned just in time to see a huge black tear in the middle of … well, whatever this place was made of, rip open. A man tumbled out with no grace whatsoever and landed flat on his back with a painful moan.

Now, Naruto is not the definition of a genius. Yes, he does have a mask to hide his true skills, and yes, he's not **that** stupid (although his social skills are indeed what people think they are), but he was pretty damn sure that whatever Akatsuki was doing to him, it did not involve some random guy falling through a tear in the air.

Staring at the man, Naruto took in his appearance. He was in his late teens to early twenties, a bit less than 2 meters tall, give or take, with long brown black hair tied in a semi-low ponytail that reached down to a few inches past his waist. His eyes were hidden by a pair of expensive looking sunglasses, but even without seeing his eyes one could tell that his face was handsome with high cheekbones, a tight jaw line, long bangs that spiked a little, and little baby fat. He wore a pair of loose, tan cargo pants with many pockets that appeared to hold some various sized objects and a brown leather belt to hold it up, a white tee shirt that had a black tribal design in the chest that could easily remind someone of a fancy spinning bulls eye or a windmill, a black trench coat with a hood and short sleeves that extended down to just above his ankles with the silver outline of a fire flaring from the hem up to his kneecaps, tan steel toed boots, and black, fingerless gloves that padded the fingers.

Naruto stared as the man slowly picked himself up, swaying dangerously during the process. Even though he wouldn't admit it, the guy looked pretty cool from a teenager's perspective… like something a person would expect from a manga, minus the swaying of course. Suddenly, the man suddenly stumbled, hurling what looked like his lunch as the smell of alcohol and quite a bit of vomit washed over Naruto.

"Ugh, damn Midget. Can't take one damn joke about her non-existent weight without trying to kill me. Hope Crypt will live through the rampage, and not vow revenge on me this time… though odds are he'll just mix me up with the floor again by the end of the day and blame it instead. Crazy bastard." He chuckled to himself, getting an odd look from the blonde. "Now where… the… helllllloooo. Interesting." Not even turning to face Naruto, but still swaying rather dangerously side to side, the man continued, "Kid, you wouldn't happen to be Naruto Uzumaki, would you?"

Naruto, still trying to get the smell of booze and vomit out of his system, stumbled back a few steps, pointed at the unknown man in a rather extravagant way and shouted. This was definitely an improvement compared to ten minutes beforehand, but the boy still wasn't going to take any chances just yet. "Who the hell are you, how the fuck did you get here and how do you know my name?!"

The man simply turned to face the boy, seemingly making eye contact with the 16 year old, and stared for what seemed like a good hour. Then he started to laugh and yell to himself. A lot.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Holy crap! We spend years trying to find this universe, and I accidentally stumble into it completely hammered by accident running from my PMSing sister! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The guys are going to laugh their asses off! Oh man, this is too good to pass up! They don't even know yet! This is too rich!"

Naruto, slowly inching away from the crazy person in front of him, turned around and started to run/float as far away as possible… only to have said crazy person suddenly appear next to him with his arm around his shoulder and still chuckling a small amount.

"Hold on, kid. As much as I enjoy freaking strangers out - and believe me, I enjoy it very, _very_ much - I gotta ask you, where the hell are we? From what I can tell this is some sort of mental realm that's meant to keep consciousnesses in limbo for a while." He paused. "… Now that I think about it, I normally have trouble getting into places like these… weird. Anyways, you can tell me about the Kyūbi and shit like that. I know it all, or mostly about it, and I can tell you that it doesn't bug me at all. Hell, my sister has a dragon inside her that hocks loogies the size of the Land of Fire and I chat to her all the time. Course, it doesn't help that I piss her off for fun half the time, but that's something completely different."

Naruto couldn't really respond to what this guy asked. Out of nowhere, a complete stranger appears, claiming to be looking for his universe for over a thousand years, knowing his name and then asking what is happening while they were both in his MIND, while the Kyūbi was being sucked out of him. Not only that, but this stranger claimed that said Kyūbi was pretty much no big deal, and seemed to think that talking to monsters that would make the greatest monster in the five elemental countries look insignificant was an everyday occurrence. Naruto was starting to think that he was going crazy.

Turning away from the man, Naruto muttered "I've been here too long and am seeing things, gotta get out before the Kyūbi gets taken out of me and save everyone." He made it almost two feet before a firm hand grabbed his shoulder and yanked him back. The man glared at Naruto (or seemed to) and Naruto felt something that caused him to fear this man.

His presence, his intent… it was strong. Far too strong.

Whatever he might look like, he wasn't human.

"Care to repeat that, kid? What do you mean, before the Kyūbi gets taken out? What happened?"

Naruto could tell this was not a question, it was an order. So, he did what any person who could think straight and valued his life would do: he explained everything. Danzō's rise to Hokage, Sasuke's kill on sight order, the first encounter with Sasuke, where he managed to escape vowing revenge on all of Konoha (knowing that it was a hole in the ground), the news of the entirety of Akatsuki bearing down on Konoha, the last battle, and Danzō's last second betrayal. All throughout the explanation, the stranger listened carefully, not interrupting Naruto's explanation, although he did mutter something along the lines of "damn, and I thought Kishi's plot line was bad".

When the explanation was done, the man simply stood up and stared off into space in deep though, occasionally talking to himself. Naruto could only hear bits and pieces of what he said.

"… could tell them that he's the…hurt like a damn pain in …information, they could provide to be…"

After what seemed like an eternity, Naruto, who had been staring at the man in fear and wonder finally lost his patience and snapped.

"That's it! Who the hell are you and how do you know so much about me! You better fess up before I kick your ass, you bastard!"

"…zzzzzzzzz…" The stranger, still looking like he was thinking, tilted his head to the side, and a large snot bubble blew from his nose. All while standing completely erect.

"What the hell!?" Naruto roared, his head almost as large as Iruka's when someone screwed up in class.

"…zzz wha? Oh, were you saying something?" The man grumbled as the snot bubble popped.

Clawing onto what restrain he had left, Naruto replied. "Who. The. Fuck. Are. You. And. How. Do. You. Know. Me?"

"Oh, why didn't you ask earlier?" At this point, Naruto vowed to kill this man, however strong he might be. "My name is… well I have a lot of names… and nicknames, but for now call me Ghost. It's the one I use the most. As for how I know so much about you… we'll talk about that later." He waved his hand lazily.

Before Naruto snapped and lunged for Ghost's neck, the odd man continued. "Just to let you know, you're going to die and it's impossible for you to get out of your current situation. If you stay like this, the Kyūbi will be extracted from your body, you will die, your friends will die, and the elemental countries will fall into chaos. If someone stops the ceremony that Akatsuki are putting you through, the Kyūbi's chakra will rush back to you in a massive surge and cause an explosion that will kill everyone in aboooout a five mile radius." He crossed his arms and nodded his head sagely as if he had come to a conclusion that didn't affect him or the world in the slightest. "Yep. No if's and's or but's about it. You are hosed this time around kid."

This stopped Naruto in his tracks. A multitude of emotions ran through his mind as Ghost explained what would happen, and throughout the entire thing, Naruto could tell: Ghost wasn't lying. "Th-that can't be true!" He yelled in denial. "My friends! My teammates! My teachers! You mean to tell me that all that fighting was for nothing?!" Down on his knees, the blonde hero sank into depression, or was about to when the guest yanked him back up and slapped him in the face with practiced ease.

"Hold on there Mr. Almost-Emo, I said you were hosed _this_ time around. I happen to have some powers other than traveling between dimensions and worlds completely intoxicated, thank you very much. One of which would be quite helpful to you right about now. If you're interested." He gave the boy a confident smirk that reminded the blonde of himself whenever he came up with an awesome strategy or technique.

Naruto looked at the dimension traveler skeptically, "What, like time travel?" in a more than sarcastic tone.

The man made a funny sound as he waved one of his hands from side to side. "Eeeeh no, not quite… but it's close enough that it can _kind of_ be considered time tr- oh GOD!" Ghost stumbled to the side and threw up with a passion. Naruto managed to jump away in time to not get covered in it, but he could do nothing to get away from the smell.

Coughing, Ghost righted himself again and groaned. "Ugh. If you ever meet my brother Crypt, which is more than likely, never under any circumstances eat or drink anything he offers you. It is more than likely going to go out the hole it came in, and it gets more disturbing and painful if you try to be creative about it."

"… Why would I want to be creative about it?"

"As I was saying, I can do something that is like time travel, but not really. I'll explain later, but for now it would be enough to say it's a one way trip and it only goes backward. For now, you will be the only one to remember what has happened afterwards, but I can make it so that you can make some people remember later."

"There _will_ be rules though, and I expect you to follow my orders when I give them to you since this isn't my first time doing this and I can make sure you don't do anything stupid. Screwing around with the past is unpredictable, and things don't always happen the same way even _if_ you try to repeat everything perfectly."

"If you do go through with this, I will train you. I don't know any jutsu yet, but I am a wind/air element like you, and I happen to know a thing or two about you and what you can do to get better. I'll even throw in a few tricks as well, at the cost of your dignity and personal safety of course… mostly dignity. Honestly, it's so overrated in my opinion. I can also if needed get some of my family to come over to help from time to time with training you and your friends if needed - oh fuck, they will kill me when they find out I found this universe and didn't tell them - and a couple of them can help you with your ahem, inner furry."

"Oi." Naruto growled. The boy had been called many things when it came to the Kyūbi, but he drew the line at being insinuated that he had a fur fetish.

Ghost giggled. "Sorry, couldn't resist. Too easy. Anyways, you in or out?"

Naruto, taking all this in stared at the man, who claimed to be able to turn back time. After ten minutes of deliberation, he replied. "What's the catch? There's no way you would do all this for free. I don't even know if I can trust you. What do you want … Ghost?"

Ghost smirked. "Entertainment, kid. Despite my damn sexy looks, I'm roughly two and a half thousand years old, give or take a couple hundred, and the same goes for everyone in my immediate family. We get bored real fast and like shaking things up a bit wherever we go. But more than that, we like helping the good guy completely one side the assholes on the opposing team and make them look like pansies... as long as the good guy isn't a complete prick, of course. Then we just torture him and the bad guys as a mysterious third party… which is also pretty fun from time to time. Anyways, have you ever see an embodiment of death and destruction have a panic attack and freak out because all his plans keep on 'mysteriously' backfiring? It's fucking hilarious. The fact that your world has a pale ass snake pedophile to mess with is even better." The man rubbed his hands evilly as he began to plan out the things he would do to Orochimaru, giggling like a child the entire time.

"Oh, it will be _glorious_. Moving on! The thing is, after about a couple hundred years, most sentient beings that achieve immortality either go completely insane, achieve omnipotence and cease to be a single being anymore, or become partially insane to maintain a good portion of their sanity. Sanity-to-power ratios are quite variable, though, so some lose more sanity than others. The way most of my family stays more-or-less sane is by screwing around with people's heads like a genius chipmunk on crack and Red Bull."

_'What're crack and Red Bull?'_ Naruto thought as he let the man continue. He was reluctant to admit it, but he was starting to like the guy. Anyone who enjoyed messing with the heads of people that deserved it earned points in his book.

"I promise you that I won't change anything major unless it's for the better. Hell, I'll even make it so that you get that Hyūga chick and not get in trouble with the councils for it. Girl has a figure to kill for, and it was obvious that she has the hots for you. How you completely missed her painfully obvious crush I'll never understand. As for trusting me … well, it's either we do this or everyone is dead, so it's not like you have a lot of options. This isn't the first time I've fixed a timeline." Ghost paused. "Oh yeah, I also like ramen with a passion, that's worth a few points, right? So once again, are you in or out?"

Ghost was reading the boy's emotions through his face. Understanding, skepticism, humor, mischievous, rage (Hinata fueled, of course), and hope. He knew he had the kid, and could only laugh maniacally to himself as he planned all the things he was going to do to… well, everyone. Being indiscriminate had its perks.

"These pranks … can I join?" Naruto asked slowly, with a small grin on his face.

"Naruto, my dear boy, with your clones, I dare say we might break my family's current record for most pranks in a week." Ghost claimed with vigor.

Oh yeah, the kid is in.

"Fine, I'll bite." The jinchūriki sighed. "So what are these rules? And what are you going to teach me, and…"

Ghost raised his hands in mock defense. "Whoa. Hold on there, one at a time. What I'll teach you will come when I teach you. Rules come first. If I tell you to do something, you do it. Most of the time I'll leave shit alone and do nothing aside from messing with people, which will happen, a lot, but there will be times when I do act or need you to do something, and you _will_ do it."

"Second, the memory transfer. Because of my power, you will be given chains that will look like a linked tattoo on your body. Most likely, it'll show up on your arm. Each link will restore one person's memory from before I change everything; that'll make more sense later. The number of links you get will depend on the number of times you've died or came so close to death that it didn't really matter at that point." He leaned forward and seemed to stare at Naruto for a few seconds before nodding to himself and backing up.

"From what I can tell, you died five times; once from that guy Kabuto during that fight with Tsunade, twice when you fought Sasuke at the Valley, once when you saved that chick Shion - there was some really interesting space time manipulation surrounding that one - and the last one is right now. Yes, you are close enough to being dead that it counts." He started to stretch his body out before continuing.

"To bring someone's memory back, bring out a chain link by focusing on your tattoo and imagining a link appearing. Once you have a link solidified, simply apply it to the person's forehead and wait as they deal with a massive headache as their memories return. Probably take about an hour, less if they've been dead for a while."

"Now listen closely, 'cause this is the interesting part. If you bring back the memory of a person who died or almost died during the time period I erased, meaning between now and when you wake up after I do my thing, they will develop a chain link of their own, which they can either keep or give back to you. So if you plan it out correctly, you can bring more than five people back." He grunted as he started to twist his body and spin smoothly on his hands, causing his spine to snap several times. Naruto was seriously starting to question his decision to work with the guy at this point.

"Third rule, change as little as possible unless you truly believe that it is for the best outcome. I cannot stress this enough. What you know is absolutely useless if it doesn't happen in the first place. That means don't try to pick up Hinata the first time you see her, don't try to be Sasuke's best friend right off the bat, don't scream about Orochimaru's plan to invade Konoha to the entire village, and for god's sake DON'T start showing off in front of your friends and beat everyone. Take your time, and be subtle. To their childhood counterparts, you're still the same dead last idiot. Don't give them any reason to think otherwise… except for maybe Shikamaru, but he's damn smart, so it'd be best to bring his memory back from the get go. Regardless, the timeline will change more the longer we stay there, so technically as long as we don't do anything too drastic or stupid, we SHOULD be able to have a bit of breathing room once the Chūnin Exams start getting close." He sighed as he landed on his feet and stood up again with loose and relaxed posture.

"As for how I know so much … well, that's for me to know and for you to find out later. Maybe."

"Now, are we done? 'Cause I want to get this over with." He momentarily frowned as he took in a deep breath. "I… don't really like using this particular ability kid. It brings back some unwanted memories. I'm doing you a damn big favor by using this power for you, so be grateful."

Naruto, eager to see how this guy was going to turn back time and save everyone, nodded. "Yeah, yeah. I can't believe that I'm getting a second chance. I'm not going to waste it."

Ghost smirked, "Then back up whiskers, because you're about to see a legend in action. I've been called several interesting things during my travels, and I can assure you, none were earned simply because they sound as awesome as I am."

Before Naruto could ask what he meant, he felt it. Something that made killing intent seem like child's play. It was something on a completely different level. Mere killing intent made a person feel like they were covered by a very cold blanket on his bare skin. The heavier the intent, the colder and heavier the blanket was. The intent of the strongest shinobi could freeze a man in place, and in some cases cause them to pass out because they stopped breathing.

This… presence… was completely different on a fundamental scale. It was like standing on a tiny platform that would fit only half of one of your feet, and around you there was absolutely nothing. No ground, no walls, no sky. Not even air. Just infinite emptiness. And from the infinite depths of this space, a strong wind rose, buffeting the platform unceasingly, making it unbearably easy for a person to lose their balance and fall... into an eternal pit of nothing. Naruto could only gasp for air and stay perfectly still in fear of losing himself to this horrifying sensation.

And then he noticed Ghost.

At first, the strange man's only change was his confident grin, which some could say resembled a certain fox's at times. But then two huge snow white lumps unfurled from his back, as a pair of wings made their appearance. Bones, stripped clean. No feathers, no skin, no muscle, just two white wings clawing from his back and surrounded his sides, like a majestic, zombie falcon. But the oppressive feeling he was giving off continued to intensify.

Naruto would be the first person in Konoha to tell you that fighting monsters is no laughing matter, but there's always a way to deal with them. With Gaara and Shukaku, the Akatsuki, and the Kyūbi under his belt, one would think that he could handle being in the presence of anything. This next transformation of Ghost's proved him wrong.

As soon as his wings extended to their full length, black fire - no, black would be an insult to how dark this fire was - an abyss-like flame erupted from between the fingers of the wings, forming membranes of utter darkness.

As this was happening, the bones themselves seemed to become transparent as the flames outlined them, giving both wings a ghostly, grasping look.

The last - and in Naruto's opinion, creepiest - change was on Ghost's face. While the flames slowly made their appearance, black shards slowly phased in from nowhere and attached themselves to his face, eventually becoming a black mask formed around his glasses, so dark that even his fire looked paler beside it. It reminded Naruto of Haku's mask in its simplicity, but instead of wave marks, there was a shattered glass design originating from Ghost's left eye, pure white cracks reaching out to the edges of the mask. The result was the man had transformed from a goofy looking drunk to something that could only be described as a god/deity like being, something that he was sure that even Madara wouldn't think twice about running away from.

The transformed man said nothing. He simply raised his right arm lazily to his side, as if giving an order.

Then the chains came.

Thousands, millions, an uncountable amount of chains appeared out of thin air and extended everywhere, reminding the blonde of a spider's web or one of Sasuke's ninja wire traps. Naruto guessed that there were so many chains that they wrapped around the world. When the links finally stopped moving, obscuring the ground in every direction farther than any eye could see, each and every chain flashed into a black falchion style sword, roughly three feet long from the handle, but with the blade's edge extending over the entirety of the grip, and the guard on the back of the blade looped forward up a good third of the blade, similar to a jitte. Each one was an exact replica of the one next to it, and all looked very lethal. (Think God of War; Blades of Chaos, with a few tweaks and the blade is half as wide).

Naruto could tell, somehow, as the blades rose partway from the ground and began to dance with the abyssal flames floating about, that these were not really swords dancing around him like death. This was much more frightening.

This was Death, given physical form, dancing around him like swords.

As the boy realized this, the swords closest to Ghost erupted in his black fire. The fire jumped from blade to blade faster than the eye could see, traveling at an insane pace down the near infinite trail of sharp weapons, occasionally disappearing in one direction and reappearing on a completely different line of blades.

As the last weapon caught on fire, the world itself caught alight with a tremendous explosion, burning with abyssal flame.

Before everything went dark, Naruto thought _'_ _Holy shit_. _What the hell did I get myself into this time?'_

In the depths of Naruto's mind, the remains of a certain demon were contemplating something different.

' _ **Hehehehe, I knew my container was lucky at times, but to by chance get THEIR help at the last moment is something else. To think that they actually exist … let's see where this leads. Even when you aren't here, your existence changes all the rules. Don't disappoint me, envoy of Zuzushi.'**_

o. o. o.

A/N

Well, here's chapter 1. Ghost and the other three or four main OCs will be strong characters, but they won't really be involved in any of the main fighting until around the time skip, where a lot of extra guests show up. Nor will any of the other OCs really show up until at least the Chūnin Exams. They will be mentioned and have very quick scenes until then. Each of the characters has their own powers, 3-5 each, not including focusing energy in their bodies or seal manipulation or their weapons. Each of them will have their own… weaknesses, some of which are not things you would expect at all. I won't explain what Ghost did yet, but I assure you that I have a decent explanation why it is not actually time traveling, regardless of what the characters will say later.

Just to let you know, there will NOT be any cross over characters. There will be some references, but nothing is coming in to the world of Naruto aside from my OCs. Naruto will not learn how to use the katana, nor will he go god mode. He will be ridiculously strong and he will learn how to use a certain weapon of my own design… kinda, (laughs manically) that will make him badass. But he will still have some trouble fighting against the Akatsuki and other foes. I accept all forms of criticism, but please refrain from going overboard with the blasting. I get enough of that from home as it is.

Please review.


	2. Never alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 2: Alone again?

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

This is my first fanfic, blah blah blah. Lots of spoilers, but I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the fillers. If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

This is a Naru/Hina fic, but I might add another one or two girls in the mix, not Sakura. Any real form of romance won't show for a while though, and there is only a small chance of any lemon appearing ever so don't get your hopes up.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

"blah blah" : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

Blah blah: someone thinking or flashback

o. o. o.

Naruto awoke in a room too large for his own comfort. Pictures of ramen littered the walls, and a target board with the face of a certain Uchiha stuck on it was mounted on the back of the door. The floor was littered with the trademark orange jumpsuits that he was known for, and the bed he was on had more than enough lumps to feel uncomfortable. The only thing that registered with Naruto was that he was back.

Elated that he was back in a time where Konoha wasn't a hole in the ground and where the old man was still alive, Naruto cheered at the top of his lungs. "Oh yeah! I'm back, baby! WAHOOOOO!"

Of course, that was when the cold hand of reality bitch slapped our foxy hero upside the head. "Shut up, you damn demon! No one cares about you! Some people are trying to sleep!"

Yes, Naruto was back. Back before he won anyone's respect. Back before anyone truly saw him for him and not for the demon. No friends, no Kakashi, no Jiraiya, no acknowledgement, nothing.

"Sucks, doesn't it. All that hard work and no one remembers a damn thing."

Snapping out of his stupor, Naruto swung his head around, where the black and white clad immortal was lounging on the floor with his hands behind his head, seemingly staring at the ceiling.

"Don't think it's over yet. There's still something else that you have to deal with before you start to try to change the world for the better." Ghost said with an unsettling smile. "Ah, I love this part. Everyone that goes through this gets so pissed when they realize what they have to do first. Such vocabulary coming out of mouths so young. It just brightens my day."

Naruto, irritated that one of the first things that he has to deal with is Ghost, flung himself out of bed to deal with the unwanted guest.

Keyword: flung. The poor boy unintentionally threw himself into his wall, effectively imprinting his face in the plaster.

"What the hell?!" Naruto roared before he let out an impressive string of cusses while Ghost merely laughed and held his side. Who wouldn't after seeing a 12 year old throw himself into a wall face first?

"That my friend, is what happens when you stick an overpowered teenager's mind into the body of a weak pre-adolescent." Ghost explained between breaths.

"Your mind commands like you're fully-grown, but your body moves like a kid, so all the signals you give your muscles are overkill. That means that the first thing on your list of things to do is to get your motor functions working properly. Same goes for your chakra control. Your mind is used to manipulating more chakra than your current body is, so no Sage Mode and no Rasenshuriken until we get you back to peak condition. Now, I don't know what your schedule is like, but I'm pretty sure that you have to go to the academy pretty soon. Go to class, but don't change anything yet. Tell Shikamaru to meet up after school at Ichiraku's, say you know a guy that wants to play against a good shōgi player or something. I'll see you there, right now I gotta rest. Screwing around with the fabric of time and space is pretty tiring."

Naruto, regaining feeling in his face, sighed. He could tell this was going to be a long day, and was kicking himself for not seeing something like this happening sooner. No muscle control, stuck again in a village that would like nothing more than for him to disappear, taking classes with people that he once called friends now thinking he's a useless waste of space. Oh yeah, time travel kicks ass. At least by the end of the day, Shikamaru will remember. True, the guy will probably do absolutely nothing about most things, but at least Shika would treat him like a human being. Lazy bastard.

After putting on his clothes and eating breakfast (endeavors which provided Ghost with an uncomfortable amount of entertainment), Naruto managed to leave his apartment for the academy, an hour and a half late. As soon as the door closed behind him, Ghost sighed. After making sure Naruto was out of hearing range, which was pretty much after the sounds of said blonde falling down the stairs outside stopped, he spoke up.

"Glad you chose not to show up in front of him. Kid has enough on his plate right now. Having a second god-level existence in his apartment might be overkill on his brain."

Right in the middle of the kitchen, a pale spirit materialized out of thin air three feet above the ground. With a demonic face and beads in its hand, a native of this universe could easily identify the apparition as the Shinigami. The air itself became stagnant and damp, and the temperature dropped to almost freezing despite the fact that it was already in the upper seventies outside.

**You have tampered in realms you should not have, mortal.**

"Yes, yes, you're pissed that a crapton of souls disappeared from your realm and a few of your special trophies from your overextending gut went missing. Big whoop." Ghost replied in a bored tone, not caring at all that he was insulting the god of death to his face.

"All you afterlife types are the same. 'Oh, look at me, I control the dead! I have first dibs on all souls no questions asked. Worship the air I take place in. WORSHIP IT!' Heavens forbid I try to make things easier for you by preventing Armageddon and controlling the flow of people dying for the next century so that you won't explode from the extra work. By the way, I'm only barely mortal in any definition of the term, thanks to **Zuzushi** , so my soul is pretty much untouchable." At this he raised his right arm a few feet from his face, and the abyss like flame flared from it. "'Sides, it's not like I can't kick your ass if I needed to anyway."

Ghost's little tirade - while still lying down, as the lazy bastard hadn't moved a bit since Naruto woke up - shook the Shinigami up, if you consider shaken up stopping in mid-air, not growing at all, and a small twitch in its demonic face. At the mention of the name Zuzushi, the deity even stumbled back a few feet. Even if one is a god of death, being on a first name basis with the being that put pretty much all physical creation into existence was essentially impossible.

Knowing her name was one thing; to talk about her like an acquaintance, let alone receiving any sort of gift or blessing from her was in another realm of imagination. He had heard of overconfident gods from other realms that had made the mistake of speaking of her familiarly; they tended to turn up missing by the end of the century.

That, and … that fire the man was conjuring was nothing like Amaterasu's fire. Not even close. He could tell that it was something that should be avoided at any cost. Mortal, demon, god … nothing could be saved from this cursed inferno. He could tell that the person in front of him was human… but also that he was extremely powerful, in a number of ways. In short, this…being, was not one to piss off. Ever. By anyone.

Shaking his head to regain composure - something that any person or bijū would never claim to witness - the god of death continued, albeit a bit more carefully.

**Be that as it may, many souls will not come to existence due to your… stunt. I demand compensation for such a travesty.**

Ghost laughed, "I'm sorry, I thought you wanted a shot at finally getting that guy's soul. You would never get another chance to get your hands on the bastard the way things were going earlier, so I decided to… press the reset button, for lack of a better term. If it makes you feel any better, I'll give you a couple hundred of my links in compensation for what I did as an 'I'm sorry' gift, but that's it." As he spoke this last part, a coil of chain, despite being made of some sort of metal, quietly slithered out of the palm of his hand into a neat pile in front of the visiting god. Picking up one end of the chain the Shinigami gasped.

**You… You're…**

"Yes, I am. And I would appreciate it if word of me being here doesn't reach anyone's ears." The man interrupted sternly, which was out of his relaxed character, before calming down again and relaxing on the ground. "If that is all the business you have, you may go. But before you do… whatever the hell you omnipotent types do, tell me the foundation of the seal you put on the kid. Rumor has it that it's supposed to leak the fur ball's chakra into his system in small increments, but something seems kinda off to me. All the other jinchūriki that I've seen or heard about had at least some control of what they were doing while using their tenant's power, and a couple had some nice secondary abilities."

The ghost-like apparition nodded slowly before answering.

**Your concerns are well founded. The seal is not supposed to leak chakra into the child's system. It is supposed to filter the chakra into the boy. Unfortunately, both the mortal known as the Fourth Hokage and, by association I, were pressed for time, and were rushed when conducting the ritual.**

"Haha, you suck." Ghost chuckled childishly.

 **Quiet, you.** The god of death chided before continuing. **The result of our mistake was an inefficient filtering system that stopped working properly years ago, an error subtle enough that it can be easily overlooked by even the most experienced seal masters in this realm. The child would not have survived if it failed even a month earlier.**

**Unexpectedly, as a result of his body adapting to the demonic taint in the unfiltered chakra, his already impressive reserves are several times larger than they were originally supposed to be. So for example, where a normal ninja his age would have 100 units of chakra, his chakra was supposed to be 250 units without the Kyūbi, due to his genetics and current lifestyle. With a working seal, it would be roughly 500 units of chakra, which is already quite high. But with his seal the way it is, his reserves are currently at 2000 units, if not higher, which would roughly be the level of an elite jōnin. Unfortunately, this long-term, direct exposure to demonic chakra has had an adverse effect on his intelligence, which in turn affected his ability to control his chakra adequately.**

Ghost nodded in comprehension before motioning for the god to continue his explanation.

**His 'power', as you should have guessed by now, is his increased healing rate. However, it is nothing compared to what it should be. Its true potential is being restrained by the unfiltered taint in his system. Mere scratches should be healed in seconds, if not in a second. Poisons and chemicals of a similar nature would have little to no effect on his body. Broken limbs would be healed within hours, missing limbs would regenerate within days, and only the most grievous of mortal wounds would be able to kill the boy. The rate of healing would increase even further if he applied more chakra to the general area of the wound. Now, this power only truly activates when he is relying on the fox's chakra in large quantities, and even then the dense concentrations of corrupted chakra poison him, trading short term healing for long term cellular damage. In addition to that, with a fixed seal his eyesight and sense of smell might develop to better match the potency of its prisoner.**

**As for why the chakra is so corrupted compared to the other beasts, I believe you already have some sort of idea.**

Ghost chuckled. "Damn, I knew the kid had messed up luck in general, but this just is nuts. Even without a bloodline he still ends out on top, yet is cursed at the same time. I honestly think he might be related to me in some distant way. Anyone who wins and loses that badly at the same time has to be. The second the seal is set straight, the kid will be a powerhouse compared to the standard in this world. Change his clothing a little bit and give him a bit more social experience and the lucky bastard will be picking up girls left and right." He paused before putting on a perverted grin. "You just can't find women who do more kinky stuff than a kunoichi these days. I mean there was this one time a couple centuries ago where a few ninja chicks and I got together, snagged a shit ton of silk rope, a few knives, and…"

 **Stop! I don't want to know.** The god shouted in a rather panicked tone. Ghost chuckled. **If you can fix the seal, do as you wish. It does not concern me anymore. As for your… tribute, I will accept it. Farewell… envoy of Zuzushi... it was interesting to finally meet the Cursed Memory in person.**

As the pale god faded from view, Ghost sighed and turned to his side, and instantly fell asleep.

o. o. o.

At the Hyūga estate:

Hinata woke up in her bed, sweating profusely. Most dreams, she could only remember bits and pieces, melting away like so many snowflakes. This time was different. What she could remember was that unlike most of her dreams about Naruto, which left her hot and sweaty (Oh, the possibilities …), this one was terrifying. Getting her dream journal out from under her bed, she turned to the last page, desperately trying to remember the few facts that remained in her head and even more desperately trying not to read earlier… submissions.

Grabbing a pen, the heiress quickly jotted down what she remembered.

_Red clouds under a black sky surrounded a nine tailed fox, ripping it out of its cage. The fox and the cage both were screaming in pain as an eye in the clouds laughed in victory before turning its attention to the moon. Suddenly, a black fire claimed all, and nothing remained as an infinite number of swords chained together danced in the abyss. Naruto was in this dream, but he was in danger for some reason. Can't remember why. This dream was different. Look into this later._

Sighing, Hinata hid her book again between the mattresses of her bed. She had some special privacy seals that she had managed to copy from the clan's storage building set up on the four corners of the bed and the book so that she wouldn't have to worry about someone from her family sneaking into her room and 'accidentally' finding it, much less reading the pages. If word got out that the Hyūga heiress was having such… detailed dreams, much less with the boy that everyone in the village seems to hate, she would get the Caged Bird Seal slapped on her forehead in an hour.

Getting into her usual attire, black skintight shorts that go down to her knees, a mesh-wire shirt under a black tee shirt under a large tan baggy sweater, the young heiress sighed as she took in her mature figure for not the first time. The sweater she started to wear after she started to develop in the chest area, being very self-conscious about her physical appearance, and scared that if boys start to ask her out that she wouldn't have a chance at getting Naruto later. Not that being a 'princess' in a family of people who did nothing but stare at everyone menacingly all day with intimidating eyes didn't deter enough boys as it is.

The morning was the usual routine, despite the odd dream she initially had: wake up, take shower, get dressed, eat breakfast and ignore the menacing glares from the main house and elders, walk to the main entrance while ignoring the depressing stares from the branch house, leave the compound of hell with her escort Kurenai, who had apparently just been promoted to jōnin, and go to the academy.

Hinata was still mulling over her nightmare and Naruto. The exams were the previous day and he had failed for a second time, barely producing a single zombie-like clone, let alone three functional ones. Even though he grinned like it was a joke afterwards and shrugged it off as a 'mere setback for the future Hokage', she could tell he was taking it hard. Hinata long ago discovered that her crush's happy go lucky attitude was merely a mask to hide his real emotions.

The things a person can discover from stalking… er… observing, yeah, observing. There's nothing illegal about observing.

On his way back home from the academy, when he thought no one was watching, Naruto dropped his mask. There were no tears. For as long as she could remember Hinata had never seen him cry, but there was a sadness and depression in his eyes that could not be mistaken for anything else. Hinata could only watch as he continued his way back to his rundown apartment, not even bothering to go train his usual daily five hours in one of the abandoned training grounds. She did not want to intrude on one of his private moments, yet she cursed herself for not being strong enough to help him.

Arriving at school, Hinata got to her place in the back of the classroom to avoid attention, being the first person there aside from some random civilian students (cough*cannon fodder*cough) and Shino. Slowly, the classroom filled out. Sasuke took his seat by the window and assumed his 'I don't care about anything' ™ pose, while Shikamaru and Chōji came in soon after and sat next to each other a few rows down. Soon afterwards, Kiba came in, yelling almost as loudly as Naruto would. While Hinata liked Kiba as a friend and thought that his puppy Akamaru was cute, the Inuzuka went overboard with his confidence more often than not and got into too many people's faces too often. That and he recently seemed to hit puberty (and noticed women existed) and was often having trouble keeping his 'dog' in check. It took two weeks for Hinata to get the idea through that she was not interested in the Inuzuka heir before he turned his sights on Ino. That courting attempt ended in three hours and an assault from the furious blonde and her group of friends. Poor fool had to spend the rest of the week recovering in the hospital from that incident and listening to his mother and sister chew him out about how to treat women.

The room was almost full when said blonde and her pink haired rival/compatriot burst through the doors screaming at the top of their lungs about who got in first. Since Sasuke sat at the end of a row, there was only one chair next to him, so it became the prize of his official fan girl club every day for the leading member who got to class first. (Yes, official. They have t-shirts, bi-weekly meetings and events, sign in slips with their pictures on it, and the annual Sasuke fantasy story contest). Of course, the only members who were recognized as the leaders were Sakura and Ino, as anyone else was too scared to try to go up against them, but that's beside the point.

Hinata had mixed feelings about Sakura. On one hand, the pink head was loud, confident, smart, and popular, yet she was never mean to Hinata and would sometimes chat with her. She knew of Hinata's crush on Naruto, yet never really said anything about it. This could be interpreted either way, but Hinata was willing to give Sakura the benefit of the doubt. On the other hand, the large foreheaded bitch had the love of her crush and didn't really do anything about it aside from give him a concussion several times a day. Hinata was pretty sure that Naruto suffered some sort of brain damage after the years of constant beatings, which resulted in his inability to pass the exams. Once again, Hinata felt incompetent for the fact that she did nothing while Naruto took beating after beating and yet kept coming for more.

Hinata was stewing in her guilt when Iruka and Mizuki stepped into the classroom.

Naruto wasn't there.

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

Yep, he called it. So far, this day sucked. After falling down the stairs outside his apartment complex, Naruto struggled to get up with his 'short' limbs and his more than shoddy sense of balance.

After re-learning how to walk, an endeavor that took over twenty minutes with a crowd of people watching him with uncomfortable looks on their faces, Naruto slowly made his way to the academy taking steps that were way too big for someone his size. This resulted in several falls into alleyways and trash cans.

By the time he actually made it to the classroom, he was over three hours late and smelled like a cross between a dirty diaper and compost, both of which (and more) he'd managed to roll around in by accident at one point that morning. Needless to say, he wasn't the only one in a sour mood when he walked in the classroom. Surprisingly enough, he was so pissed at that point that he didn't really care that Sasuke was in the classroom and not as evil as he was the last time Naruto saw him. Of course that was a given, with time traveling and all, but Naruto was more preoccupied with trying to move his body in an agreeable manner, smelling like a conglomerate of dead… everything than marvel that his (ex?) teammate wasn't trying to kill him.

The rest of the class didn't fare much better. Everyone stayed as far away as possible from the orange clad loudmouth situated in the back row - who was surprisingly quiet for once It took thirty minutes for Iruka (bless his naive heart) to finally lose his patience and throw Naruto into one of the gym showers with a bar of soap and tell him that he wasn't allowed back in the classroom until he and his clothes smelled remotely decent.

Which of course took another hour and a half to accomplish.

By the time he got out, half the lunch period had passed, Naruto remembered that he didn't bring any food or money, and he couldn't find Shikamaru, not like he was trying to at this point. While this wasn't the first time such an event had happened to the blonde, it did nothing to help his mood, so he just walked/fell towards one of the trees on the grounds and closed his eyes before he killed someone (Mizuki).

By the time lunch was over, Naruto's mood had slightly improved. Not smelling like multiple versions of death anymore and a decent nap can do that to a person. He was still hungry though.

Waddling into the classroom again, he finally got a good look around the classroom and thought somewhat clearly about his current situation. In this point in time, Sakura, Ino and Sasuke wouldn't give him the right time of day even if he tried to be polite, which made him slightly wince in emotional pain. Shino would think something was wrong the second Naruto tried to strike up a conversation with him, and would try to figure out why since the two never really hung out much, even in the future. That would probably change something too early for Naruto's comfort.

Looking around, he spotted Kiba. Dog breath was all right, but he was too loud and annoying to deal with at the moment. Plus, the mutt's sensitive nose probably still smells some diaper residue on his jumpsuit, so interaction with the Inuzuka is currently on hold until further notice. A row below the dog lover was the day's target and his fa-… significantly larger friend. Thinking about it now, Naruto realized that the Nara and the Akimichi weren't all that bad during childhood. Even before he started to evolve into the awesome ninja that he is/was/will be, Shikamaru and Chōji never really gave him that much crap about something unless he deserved it, and even then it wasn't really that bad. Hell, the two occasionally provided a distraction when he was running from some ANBU after a major prank. He occasionally tried to get them to help him in one of his works of art (somewhere in Iwa, a blonde missing-nin sneezed from several places, causing the hotel that he was in to explode violently), but the two always would decline and get back to watching clouds.

Snapping out of his stupor, Naruto realized that almost all the seats were gone, minus some in the back row (a few of the chairs still smelled from being around Naruto so long). The only chairs that were safe were the two in the back right corner. Situated in one was of course, Hinata.

Naruto's relationship with Hinata had taken its first few steps after the fight with Pain. To be perfectly honest, the jinchūriki was not taking things well with Danzō as Hokage and Sasuke being Sasuke. He had been restricted to being staying inside the village, which meant that the only missions he could do were D-ranks and some very rare C-ranks that dealt with some reasonably classified information. Hinata pretty much became his anchor to reality and stability as soon as their relationship finally got off the ground, which was to say after their first date at the recently remade Ichiraku's. Due to his newfound status as the village hero, gaining permission from the Hyūga elders to court Hinata was only slightly less difficult than trying to keep Tsunade from her morning booze. Painful and extremely dangerous, but definitely doable. While their relationship in that time did not get that far, due the chaos that was pretty much happening 24/7, their trust and love for each other grew to, in many eyes, uncomfortable levels.

Starting from square one again with Hinata was pretty much the worst thing for Naruto, but he remembered what Ghost said about Hinata and reluctantly agreed. Showing any sort of real interest in the Hyūga Heiress in public right now would screw everything up and would result in an unnecessary amount of suffering and stress for the both of them. Hinata had told him in the future about how the elders and her father would demean her and often threaten her with the Caged Bird Seal if she did not improve. It was only after Naruto beat her cousin Neji in the Chūnin Exams that her father started to lighten up on her and teach her effectively, as well as protect her somewhat from the other elders, and even then it was difficult to deal with the overall situation at times. Because of that, and being her inspiration for improving herself, Hinata told him she felt like she'd won the lottery. Seeing her suffer, and actually knowing she was suffering this time around was going to be too much for him to bear had Naruto not remembered what Ghost said earlier.

_"Hell, I'll even make it so that you get that Hyūga chick and not get in trouble with the councils for it. Girl has a figure to kill for, and it was obvious that she has the hots for you_ _."_

Ignoring that side comment, Naruto had to put faith into Ghost. The guy already turned back time for him, how much harder was it for the guy to get his girlfriend back?

As he sat himself next to Hinata, he turned to her and smiled. A real smile. Hinata in turn did a wonderful imitation of a tomato and proceeded to pass out.

The blonde chuckled to himself before telling Iruka that Hinata had fainted 'for no reason at all'. Maybe this time around, things wouldn't be as bad as he thought.

o. o. o.

Back in Naruto's apartment:

Ghost groaned as he picked himself off of the floor and rubbed the sides of his head before going over everything he knew about the new world he was visiting in his head. "Even gods make mistakes. Ngh. Fixing a filter seal, okay, no problem. That's easy for my level of sealing with my other skills. The kid is seriously lucky that the Shinigami was the one that made his seal, otherwise I would have had to get Scab or Crypt here to look at him in order to fix it… and I seriously doubt that them being here so early would make things easier for any of us. Seeing as he has more chakra than he originally was supposed to, I suppose I can make it filter more chakra than it is now to compensate a little bit. That's easy. As for dealing with the missing half of the fur ball, and giving the kid a few additional foxy features… that's Crypt's job. After that, Blondie can be introduced to the training called 'stay away from the Midget', heheh."

Ghost then sighed, "No way I'm good enough to deal with that level of sealing, though. Harnessing and fusing energy and genetic material from an incomplete spiritual holy class deity to a human container? That's level 8 stuff at least. No way am I touching that." Looking at the nearby clock that Naruto had more than likely chucked against the wall several times, Ghost saw it was an hour 'til it was time to meet Naruto at Ichiraku's.

Getting up and walking to the door, Ghost could only chuckle to himself. "It's almost time."

He opened the door and basked in the sunlight. As he did so, his elongated image on the floor took the form of a reptile like being with bone wings.

"May the game of shadows begin."

o. o. o.

A/N: If anyone wants to beta this, please let me know. I already have several other chaps made, but I need another proofreader to make sure the job is done right.

Bonus points to anyone who can guess what that last line is based off of.


	3. Through the eyes of another

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 3: Through the eyes of another

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

This is my first fanfic, blah blah blah. Lots of spoilers, but I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the fillers from the pre time skip part of the series. If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

This is a Naru/Hina pairing, but I might add another one or two girls in the mix, not Sakura. The story is mostly humor and pure awesomeness though. Sappy stuff won't happen that often.

I am well aware that I often switch from first person to third person when narrating. If this actually bothers someone, please don't blast me in unnecessarily large amounts. Just moderate amounts will get the point across.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

" **blah blah"** : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

o. o. o.

Hinata was confused. Happy, but very confused.

Naruto came to school late that day, which wasn't much of a surprise. He did just fail the exams the previous day, nothing odd about that. He smelled like trash. Not exactly normal, but since he was the village prankster it could be simply explained as a joke gone wrong. This could also explain why he was rather quiet throughout the day. Perfectly understandable.

It was the other, more subtle things about her crush that were bothering her. First of all, Naruto did not attempt to talk, woo, or make any physical gesture to Sakura Haruno. For as long as she could remember, Naruto would at least try to do SOMETHING regarding the pink head at least once a day, even on his worst days. Another thing that was off: he was moving oddly. While most people would assume it was another one of his bad jokes, or that he had hurt himself preparing one of said pranks, Hinata could see a peculiar pattern to his movements. It was if his body's muscles were naturally trying to move in larger movements than what they were used to. Muscle memory on such a scale couldn't be faked or adjusted in a single day. (Without shadow clones, anyway. But she didn't know that.)

The last and probably most important thing that got to Hinata was Naruto's eyes. While Hinata was not as experienced as the rest of the main branch (or Neji) at reading facial expressions, years of… observing Naruto had given her a fair understanding of what was going through his head at most times. Through his eyes in particular… his blue, deep, mysterious, dreamy… you get the idea. The point was, Naruto's eyes were different in Hinata's perspective (which is from the Byakugan, of course. She can't really stare directly into his eyes often and not get caught without it).

Previously Naruto's eyes were a deep azure blue, like the ocean. Constantly shifting, uncontrollable, wild with ever changing emotions, and occasionally giving off a few extra hues of blue like an overabundance of life and hope.

Now his eyes were an even more impressive gem blue. Sharp, clear, deeper in insight, but with that same soft glimmer of warmth that would come out of it.

They were the eyes of experience, of someone who has seen and gone through countless events that completely change one's view of the world. The eyes of someone who knew what his goal was and the route to take. The eyes of a veteran. The eyes of an adult.

The eyes of a ninja.

Yet Naruto didn't really act all that different that day. Though not as loud as normal, he still fell asleep in class and still talked back to Iruka in his usual manner. His claims to become the best ninja the village has ever seen seemed to be absent, but his vow to become Hokage still passed through his lips in abundance. All in the half an hour he was in the classroom before Iruka literally picked up the orange clad loudmouth and threw him into the showers.

The girl had half a mind to excuse herself to the bathroom and do some… research, but she stomped on that idea. She would more than likely forget to come back to class if she did, and get caught.

Naruto didn't appear again until the middle of lunch. It was odd that even though his clearly bad mood was made worse with the lack of food, he didn't really make much noise about it. He simply waddled over to a nearby tree and fell asleep. Hinata simply didn't know what was happening. Having finished her lunch a few minutes before, she hid behind another tree a few meters away and watched intently to see if she could find any other clues that might explain the boy's odd behavior.

As class was starting again, Hinata witnessed a new anomaly in her crush (through her Byakugan of course). Naruto didn't immediately try to get a seat next to Sakura, nor did he try to get a seat next to his rival Sasuke. He simply stood at the top of the classroom in the back for the last few minutes and stared at some of his classmates. What surprised the heiress was that when she tried to read his emotions, she found that it was significantly harder to get an accurate reading than it was yesterday. She could still make out general ideas, but it was like Naruto had learned overnight how to hide what he was truly thinking from onlookers, which was impossible. It took years to learn how to effectively hide one's emotions facially, and yet Naruto was applying a somewhat straight face (which in his case was a tired but cocky grin) and letting little past that.

Hinata was too focused on trying to decipher his emotions to be able to tell who he was looking at, but she was pretty sure she saw some regret and remorse, along with a bit of irritation soon after. A few unreadable emotions came next before a multitude of emotions flashed on his face at once. Hinata was perplexed,

_'Who or what could possibly cause Naruto to have so many emotions at once?'_

Then she realized that he was staring, and walking, right towards her.

Trying her hardest not to pass out, Hinata quickly turned off her dōjutsu before anyone noticed. This had never happened before! The boy almost never noticed her presence unless she was the only person around at the time and when he did he just brushed her off as dark or weird before running off to pull some prank or woo Sakura. Every step he took threatened to force the girl to pass out due to her skyrocketing insecurities. As her dream boy took a seat, she slowly turned her head to at least acknowledge his presence. She knew that that was really all he truly wanted in life. It was all she really wanted too. That is when he did the thing that surprised her the most, the thing that told her that something had happened to Naruto.

He smiled at her.

Not one of his forced, 'I'm here and am blocking out everything else' loud smiles. One of his real smiles. One that she'd seen a couple of times as a child, when he thought he was alone. The one that sparked her infatuation with him. The one that had been showing less and less over the years at the academy till it was almost never seen.

And he was smiling while looking right at her.

Hinata promptly and gracefully, blacked out.

o. o. o.

Several hours later:

It was the end of the day, and Naruto had to make his move. After Hinata passed out, she was sent to the nurse's office, so Naruto simply waited through the class. He of course knew that she'd react like that, but couldn't help it. The girl was cute as hell when she froze up like that just for him.

The poor boy made it fifteen minutes before he fell asleep on the desk. It didn't help that the subject of that particular lecture was based around an extremely boring version of summoning theory and the various species related to it. Honestly, he didn't even know half the stuff Iruka was spewing out about the principles of the seals and the history of various summons, and he was more than sure that he never needed to know them either when he had to fight Shukaku or Pain. To be honest, he doubted that Jiraiya knew a lot of this crap either. It was mostly just summon and ask for a favor, or summon and be surrounded by the organs of some boss sized toad with the perverted toad sage, and both worked pretty well for him so far. Needless to say the entire class was surprised when, after Iruka nearly gave Naruto a concussion with a thrown piece of chalk, Naruto correctly listed five different summoning contracts and the theory behind summoning different members of a species without a second's hesitation. Albeit he did have a bit of a slur for a few minutes.

" _Naruto, how do you know that there's a Chameleon or Bee summoning contract? The three summoning species of the Sannin are common knowledge, but I would assume that you would think of the monkey and dog, or at least the salamander contracts before those two. Not only that, but those two contracts in particular haven't been mentioned at all in my lectures. I'm not even sure that most chūnin could list five species that quickly, let alone know how summoning theory works in such detail."_

Luckily, Naruto was always pretty good at thinking on his feet, and managed to spew some bull excuse of being curious about summoning giant minions to do his bidding and/or chores, and decided to look it up one day.

o. o. o.

On a particular mountain, Gamabunta suddenly developed an urge to crush loud blonde human children. He quickly shrugged off this feeling and decided to go the grand elder for some therapy. This would prove to be a mistake, and result in a large distaste in the Toad Boss for narcoleptics everywhere.

o. o. o.

The rest of the day for Naruto was less eventful. Knowing to toe the line, Naruto decided to answer all of the questions Iruka asked him for the rest of the day in incomplete and fragmented stutters or the ever popular 'I don't know' sound and shrug. This continued until the end of class. Naruto decided to make his move as everyone got up to go home.

"Hey Shikamaru! Wait up! I wanna ask you something." Naruto shouted from across the room, not caring that he was attracting attention to himself. It wasn't like he could simply walk up to the boy with his shot muscle control, anyway.

Shikamaru turned around lazily and stared at the boy with a tired expression. "Eh? What is it, Naruto? If it's another one of your troublesome pranks…"

Naruto laughed and scratched the back of his head in usual fashion. For some reason, it was one of the few gestures he could get down regardless of his body transfer. "No, no, not today anyways, although I do have some true beauties in the planning stages for later if you're interested. What I wanted to ask is if you wanted to meet a new friend of mine. I was telling him about the people in my class and he took notice of your name. He seems interested in playing shōgi against a Nara, whatever that means. Got real jumpy about it too. He really wanted to play against you. You interested?"

Shikamaru was taking in Naruto's story and was thinking about what would happen. He knew something was up with the blonde, that much was clear. His list of mental notes was nowhere near as long as Hinata's, but that was to be expected when comparing against a stalker and her interest. Naruto seemed to be telling the truth at the moment. A bit over the top sure, but there wasn't any ill intent coming from Naruto. Plus, shōgi was shōgi, and he wasn't going to turn down a challenge. Sighing to himself the boy shrugged. "Sure, Naruto. It seems interesting. Chōji has training today with his dad, and it's not like I'm going to do anything else."

Naruto mentally sighed in relief. If things continued to go as smoothly as they currently were, a lot more people would be saved from unnecessary pain and anguish once the fighting was over. "Great! I told him we would meet him at Ichiraku's after school! Come on!"

Grabbing the lazy shadow user's hand, Naruto ran outside the classroom, only to trip and fling himself (and Shikamaru) down the hallway, forgetting that his motor functions were shot at the moment. The two skidded down the hall headfirst for a fair distance. "How about we just walk there?" Shikamaru groaned, picking himself off the floor.

"Mmm-hmm" was the muffled response from Naruto, whose face was currently implanted in the wall.

o. o. o.

With Ghost:

Finding the ramen stand proved to be quite an endeavor for the foreign powerhouse. Sure, he could casually screw around with the fabric of time and space. Fighting gods? Give Ghost a time and date and he will be there, ready and giggling like a mad little school girl in anticipation. Ask him to find a small food stand in the middle of a city with no clue where it is except the name? Well, the man will find the place eventually, but odds are he'll have a Kakashi grade excuse for his tardiness when he finally arrives.

And unlike the silver haired jōnin, Ghost's stories would most likely be true… much to the poor man's misfortune. Sometimes it just doesn't pay to be a cocky jackass, especially if it pisses off deities that control the luck in the multiverse…

Arriving a little over an hour late, Ghost walked up to see a very pissed off Naruto and a very irritated Shikamaru waiting at the ramen stand. Unknown to Ghost, the two boys only got there fifteen minutes earlier, mostly due to Naruto's slow land speed and more than frequent spills. This would explain why Naruto, and to a lesser extent Shikamaru, were both covered with scratches and dirt.

Fifteen minutes was still plenty of time for Naruto to down at least four bowls of miso ramen, even with horrible muscle control. "Yo. Sorry I'm late, I…"

Naruto's eyes flashed dangerously as he glared at the man. "If you even try to do what I think you are going to do, I will make you suffer in ways that you only thought were possible in bad nightmares and half-assed fanfiction."

Shikamaru looked at Naruto in confusion while Ghost merely sweat dropped and chuckled nervously. "Well then, I'm glad I have a good excuse then. I was going to say that I'm still new in town and that I got lost trying to find the place." The slightly unnerved man turned to the pineapple headed boy, "You must be Shikamaru Nara. I've heard that your family is well known for producing master strategists and are almost unbeatable when it comes to strategy games. When Naruto here told me a member of your family was in his class, I couldn't help but ask for him to introduce us." Ghost then bowed in the direction of the lazy genius. "I hope you'll give me a good game." Taking a seat next to Naruto, Ghost faced the waitress Ayame and smiled. "But before we go, I haven't eaten anything all day. Excuse me! May I have a beef ramen please?"

As the newcomer waited for his order, Shikamaru took the man in and was trying to connect the few dots that he found. The stranger was clearly a foreigner; he pretty much said it himself. His clothes, posture, and way of speaking were all different compared the average civilian in the elemental countries. The man's eyes couldn't be seen through his tinted sunglasses, and the lenses were designed to wrap around to prevent anyone from seeing his eyes from the side as well. That didn't earn points in Shikamaru's book. The fact that the genius had never seen such a man before in town, yet he'd known a relatively obscure fact about his family also started to sound alarms. Whoever this guy was… he was definitely troublesome.

"Oh yeah! Beef ramen. Come to papa." Ghost was having a mini parade over salted broth, noodles and meat, complete with confetti and rather impressive dancing that snapped Shikamaru out of his thinking.

_'He's a good dancer. I'll give him that much.'_

Right before he took his first bite though, Ghost stopped. Naruto immediately heard a voice softly echoing through the air. Since no one else seemed to react to it, he was pretty sure that he was the only one who could hear it. "You know, this won't be my first bowl. This probably would be a good time to give him a link." Ghost then took his first bite of the ramen and started to cry. "So delicious. Gulp. Slurp. Food of divine salvation."

Naruto, not wasting any time, turned to his right forearm, where he could… feel his five links. Focusing on bringing one out was surprisingly easy. Naruto assumed correctly that it was due to his sage training that he could focus so clearly and efficiently, even when dealing with new foreign energies. He watched as the black chain link, slightly larger than the palm of his hand, melted out of his skin as if it was water. He did all this with his back turned to his friend of course. Turning to Shikamaru, he held up the link. "Hey Shika, you wanna see a cool trick while we wait for the jerk back there to finish?"

"Oi." Ghost grumbled with his mouth full of noodles.

"Meh, sure. As long as it isn't troublesome and won't start anything then sure."

Naruto put on his fox grin, hiding his nervousness of what he was going to do, and hoping it actually worked. "Sweet. Okay, first what you have to do is take this chain link and press it against your forehead. Then wait as I get the rest of the trick started."

Holding the chain link and sighing to himself, Shikamaru didn't notice the slight spark the chain link gave off as it touched his forehead. The link didn't stop at his skin, but phased through his flesh and disappeared into his skull, leaving no trace. Then came the headache.

It felt like someone had stuck a helium tube inside his skull and turned on the gas real slow, giving his entire head an equal and steadily rising pressure. Not completely unbearable, but with the flashes of memories and experiences flowing into his head at a high speed, the headache was quickly causing the twelve year old to lose coordination of his body.

Breathing heavily, Shikamaru attempted to stumble backwards from his chair and escape whatever he just gotten himself into. Naruto, however (somehow) managed to hold onto his friend and whispered into his ear. "It will last for about an hour. Then you'll remember everything."

Throughout the entire episode, Ghost was weeping tears of joy as he ate two more bowls of beef ramen, completely ignoring the pair of preteens next to him struggling with their own particular goals.

One hour and two minutes later Shikamaru had calmed down. While he was struggling occasionally, Ghost could tell the boy was collecting his thoughts on his current situation regarding when and where he was. Currently though, he was pinned on the ground by Naruto for the last ten minutes, struggling to get back up with onlookers (and Ghost) staring in disgust and/or amusement. Hey, how often do **you** see two kids wrestling on the ground in public with no adult supervision these days?

Sighing, the Nara turned his head to look at the blonde. "You can get off me now, Naruto. I remember everything."

Getting off his regained comrade, Naruto sheepishly grinning, scratched the back of his head. "Sorry I had to be so rough, Shika. You would've gotten away if I didn't."

"Well, if you two just wanted to be alone, I could postpone this meeting for later…" Ghost grinned, easily exploiting the play on words for his own cheap amusement.

Shikamaru glared at the man with an intense and extremely analytical eye. "Shut up, you troublesome bastard. Let's just go to somewhere private so you can tell me what the hell is going on. Tch, I need a smoke."

Ghost shrugged as he got up from his stool and placed some money on the counter. Where he got said money in the first place remained a mystery. "Yeah, yeah. Follow me. We're going to one of the training grounds I found earlier. I'll be able to tell if anyone is there or coming a long time before they actually notice our presence, so we won't worry about anyone spying on us."

Ghost walked off towards the training grounds, closely followed by the two teens in tween's bodies. They were about half way there when Naruto spoke up. "Hey Shika?"

"Yeah?" The Nara replied with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto looked at Shikamaru's legs as he travelled. "How are you walking so normally?"

The genius blinked in a confused manner. "What are you talking about Naruto?"

"Aren't you having trouble controlling your body the way you want to?" The blonde asked in a slightly frustrated tone.

The pineapple headed boy blinked before connecting the dots. "Is that the reason why you've been moving so awkwardly today?"

Ghost turned around and looked like he had forgotten something trivial. "Oh! Sorry about that. I forgot to tell you, Naruto. Because your mind went directly from your older body to your younger one, you are the only one that actually has to regain control of your muscles."

"Everyone else is simply remembering all their experiences through their younger bodies in a more gradual process, so their muscle memory doesn't get shot like yours. It's like their younger minds are fused with their older ones when the link is applied, while your mind stayed the same but your body got changed. Sucks, doesn't it?"

The thoughts going through Naruto's mind at that moment are not allowed to be revealed to the public. All that will be known is that the Kyūbi inside of him was laughing his furry ass off for a long time after said incident.

This would be the first in a very, VERY long line of incidents that Naruto would declare revenge on Ghost for.

o. o. o.

At the training grounds:

Arriving at training grounds 21, a heavily forested area with a few small open fields, the three sat on the ground. By the time they got there, the sun had already set due to the slow pace they had to maintain for Naruto.

"So I'm assuming you have something to do with those swords and chains coming out of nowhere and toasting everything, as well as us being kids again." Shikamaru started off, speaking to Ghost. It wasn't a question.

Ghost nodded.

"How did you figure that out?" Naruto asked, wanting to know how Shikamaru pieced everything together so quickly, and secretly studying the genius' analytical skills for future reference. Naruto had long ago realized that the Nara's ability to think ahead was something he had to at least try to mimic decently. He didn't need to plan 200 moves ahead; 25 moves would be enough, more or less.

"Naruto, it isn't that difficult." The pineapple headed boy moaned. "The last thing I remember before everything literally went black was black chains erupting from thin air and spreading out everywhere, turning into these troublesome looking swords, then burning everything to kingdom come. You," Shikamaru pointed at an amused Ghost, "I don't remember seeing before. I would have easily recalled someone dressed as strangely as you. Once I had my head on straight, I immediately connected the black chains from before to the one that you made me press against my head. Naruto may be unpredictable, but even I don't think he could pull something like this off, let alone in the situation that he was in. Considering that you were here when this troublesome blonde gave me the link, I came to the conclusion that you and the black chain must be related, and hence you are responsible for our current situation."

Naruto nodded sagely while the others stared at him.

"So." Shikamaru started. "You two can start off by telling me how we got into this troublesome mess."

"Well since you asked so nicely…" Started Ghost.

Ghost and Naruto then proceeded to fill in Shikamaru on what happened, although Ghost was a bit more …colorful in his descriptions of how he wound up in Naruto's head in the first place. Needless to say, the two would be very careful when dealing with any member of their new ally's family.

Ghost did not, however, tell them exactly what he did to the time stream, what his powers were specifically, how he knew so much about their world, or about his run in with the mildly irritated God of Death. When questioned about why he wouldn't fess up, Ghost merely responded that he would tell them when enough people were brought back, as it was a long explanation and he didn't like saying things over and over again.

"So… what now?" Naruto asked.

"Well, the first thing I'm going to do is have a little chat with the fur ball. I have some questions that need to be answered, and he can answer at least a few. And if he doesn't, I'll just make him." Ghost answered simply.

The two boys stared at the man as if he was mentally retarded by the end of the explanation.

"You know, the Kyūbi is several hundred feet tall, made of pure chakra, and can cause natural disasters with a mere thought… right?" Shikamaru asked, skeptically.

"Yes." The long haired man said casually.

"And that he has an ego the size of all the sticks up the Hyūga's asses put together, right?" Naruto continued.

"And your point is?" The smiling man asked.

"… Troublesome." The Nara groaned, slapping himself in the face.

Ghost stood up and brushed his coat with his hands. "If you two are done playing twenty questions, then we can get started. Talking to the fox isn't only one thing I've planned on doing tonight, and I would like to get some sleep by the time morning comes. Naruto, pull up your shirt and focus your chakra so I can see your seal. I gotta have physical contact with the seal in order for me to reach the overgrown rabid woodland critter."

Naruto reluctantly pulled up his shirt, muttering something about weirdoes always touching his stomach. Ghost pressed his palm on the seal as Shikamaru watched intently.

o. o. o.

Hokage's office:

Little did Naruto and Shikamaru know that their entire meeting was being carefully analyzed by the Third Hokage via his crystal ball.

The Third was watching the group intently ever since he'd received reports of an oddly dressed stranger inside the village that no one had seen before, asking for the location of a particular ramen stand. There were no reports of such a man entering through the gates; it was as if he'd appeared out of nowhere that afternoon. He worried that the man was a spy, or worse, that he was after Naruto and knew about the boy and his many, many secrets. Which was, of course, true, in an odd way.

What Sarutobi didn't expect was for the man to be close to Naruto. The two interacted in a way that he himself had not seen the boy behave often, which disturbed him greatly. Though the man was a good dancer, the old monkey still watched with a careful eye. Then when Naruto pressed something against the young Nara's forehead, Sarutobi knew that something was up. He saw how the stranger paused before his first bite and how Naruto acted right afterward, pulling that… thing out of his right hand like magic. He would have sent ANBU to the ramen store immediately if he didn't lip read Naruto's message while he was holding his classmate down. Impatiently waiting to see what would happen, the Third was not disappointed.

As soon as the Nara boy got back up, the old man could see that something was different. While the boy's posture, speaking habits, and behavior had remained the same, his movements and the way his eyes fluttered around revealed a major change. It was like the boy had suddenly mentally grew several years and gained the experience of a hundred battles. He had the eyes of a highly experienced ninja.

The old man resigned himself to just watch after that and try to learn as much as possible. Needless to say that he nearly had a heart attack several times as he learned more. Time travel? Older bodies? Akatsuki? Black chains and fire? Bad booze? The list went on. When the man declared that he was going to talk to the Kyūbi itself, the Third thought that his vision and hearing were going for a good while. How could a person treat such a monster with such indifference? With his fingers hovering above the button that alerted all of his ANBU, Sarutobi watched and waited as the man placed his hand on Naruto's stomach.

o. o. o.

Back in the training grounds:

A good ten minutes passed and nothing happened. Naruto seemed somewhat annoyed that someone was pretty much rubbing his stomach like a Buddha statue for an extended period of time, and Shikamaru was in his assumed meditating position, analyzing everything that had happened and was happening for the hundredth time.

Ghost was for all intents and purposes not moving. The man was perfectly still, his body betraying no notion that the outside world existed, and his glasses prevented anyone from seeing any eye movements.

Suddenly, without any warning, Ghost retracted his hand half way to his body. "Well, that was interesting…" the coated man muttered, flexing his hand.

"Did you get the answers you were looking for?" Shikamaru asked.

"Some," Ghost replied with a shrug. "I found out some other interesting things as well. I'll let you guys know when the time is right. For now, we have to do the next thing on our list."

"What would that be?" Naruto asked curiously.

Ghost simply grinned confidently, first at Naruto, then at Shikamaru, then straight into the middle of the air, where his grin grew even wider, straight into the face of Sarutobi. The old man could only gape at his glass ball.

_'He knew I was watching the entire time. How!?'_

"The next thing on tonight's agenda, Naruto…" Ghost turned back to the blonde, "Is fixing your seal."

o. o. o.

A/N

Ok, so I have most of the story pre time skip planned out already but I want to have a poll on a couple of things.

1\. Does the old fart Hokage die or not? I could go either way, but I don't feel like making the decision myself.

2\. Is Haku a boy or a girl? Same as before, but I have a feeling I know what the end result is going to be.

These two choices will not really have a major impact on the overall story, but I can build some decent side plot off of what happens. Having these decisions made for me will just allow me to get my mind off of what to do in the first place and back to the story.

Also, I have started to put up OC profiles on my page to give everyone a better idea of who my OCs are and what they are like. Subtle and quiet they are not, and neither am I.


	4. The healing process

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 4: The Healing Process

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

This is a Naru/Hina pairing, but I might add another one or two girls in the mix, not Sakura. The story is mostly humor and pure awesomeness though. Sappy stuff won't happen that often.

Please ignore bad spelling/grammar. I'm an engineering major.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

" **blah blah"** : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

o. o. o.

Everyone listening to the conversation just gaped.

"WHAAAAATTTT!?" was the collective reply.

"I said the next thing to do tonight is to fix, not tweak, but fix your seal Naruto." Ghost continued, as if it was just another every day topic. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe the Fourth didn't have enough time to proof read everything before he set the seal into motion? Did you ever notice how all of the other jinchūriki you encountered or heard of had awesome and overkill powers, yet you were simply stuck with a larger gas tank and a slightly faster healing system? Or that all of the other vessels seemed to have a lot less feedback when they tapped into their beast's power, yet you seem to have your life drastically shortened every time you let even a bit out? Doesn't that strike you as odd?" Ghost asked, really hoping the blonde really wasn't as stupid as everyone else said.

"I've been wondering about that too, Naruto." Shikamaru added. "After I found out about your condition, I did some research on jinchūriki, and found that your case didn't match previous ones. I didn't really give it much thought because there was never a container for the Kyūbi before, much less a seal made… by… the Shinigami..." Shikamaru turned to Ghost. "But there was no way you could have known about the flaw unless you either already looked at the seal or… you didn't…"

"Heheh, you got me. Old tall, pale, and see through gave me a visit while little Naru here went to school. He didn't seem to appreciate a few thousand souls going missing in the blink of an eye and wanted some compensation." Ghost bragged proudly like a five year old. Shikamaru, Naruto, and Sarutobi's jaws proceeded to drop to the ground in sheer awe. This guy literally talked to Death and didn't seem fazed by it at all. "After we got a few things straightened out, I asked him about your seal, and he kindly told me several things about it that seemed to be absent from everyone's minds. Seems like both the Fourth and old dead head were too rushed for time and fucked up the filter part of the seal badly. Sad thing is, the filter was screwed up in a way that almost everyone would miss unless they knew what they were looking for."

Naruto paled while Shikamaru muttered something about troublesome blondes and gods. Sarutobi on the other hand had half a mind to go over the dozens of reports that had been made on Naruto's seal over the years and try to see what he and Jiraiya had missed.

"The end result was that your healing ability is almost nonexistent when it should be blaring in everyone's faces, your body takes more damage than it should when you channel chakra of almost any kind, causing your less than impressive intelligence, and you have chakra reserves that are fucking huge even by jinchūriki standards. In short, your seal is pretty much the opposite of Gaara's. While he had near perfect access to his tenant's chakra, the prison aspect of the seal was weak, allowing Shukaku to have influence over his mind. Your seal allows your mind to be untouched unless something drastic happens, but the filter is so bad that raw demon chakra is going into your system and screwing everything else up."

"Jinchūriki… there's always something wrong with you troublesome bastards." Shikamaru moaned, getting a dirty look from Naruto.

Ghost continued. "Luckily for you, filter seals are generally easy to make and fix. Another fortunate thing is that the Shinigami made your seal. It is a mandatory requirement of all deity-like entities and actual gods in all universes to create their seals with a special property. This property is that the seals actually come in two sealing languages, the local language and the hidden trans-universal language."

"This 'universal squared' language is very flexible, and is applicable to any form of sealing. It has ten levels, not counting the special eleventh level that is only accessible to a true born master. I am a level six master of seals, which is good enough to allow me to fix the kinks I just talked about, plus my powers allow me to make an even more efficient filtering function than what most level nines can make. However, I will not be able to add on additional seals or tweak it to give you additional upgrades due to the nature and power of the Kyūbi, plus the fact that he is… absent in some ways."

Naruto's eyes widened, realizing that this man knew that only half of the Kyūbi's chakra was inside him. What else did he know? "That requires the skill of a person of at least eight levels. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, do you have any questions before I get to work?" Ghost finished his long explanation, at some point getting a graduate's hat on his head and pointing at a black board with a stick.

Shikamaru just sat there. While he knew that Naruto was somewhat challenged, he had no idea that it was because the Kyūbi's chakra in his system was slowly damaging him from the inside. "What would you be doing specifically?" he asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"What I would be doing is simply replacing/repairing Naruto's inefficient filter seal with a more powerful and larger one. Because the taint in his system caused Naruto's reserves to grow at an abnormal rate and conditioned his body to handle high strains on his chakra system, I can probably double if not triple the amount of chakra the seal's supposed to let through at this point. Not only that, I can probably make it so that the filter grows at a faster rate as well due to the fact that we know his body can handle the strain." Ghost then turned to Naruto. "Okay, lecture time is over. I'm gonna have to knock you out for this bit."

Naruto blanched, "Wha-?" before a swift chop to the head put the boy under.

"Child abuse or not, there's just something unbelievably satisfying about knocking loud idiots unconscious." The man chuckled before proceeding to lay the boy on his back in the middle of a clearing and take off his shirt. Shikamaru simply stood back and watched, slightly impressed by the blonde's physique. He would have done something to Ghost when he knocked the boy out, but he didn't want to try to take out the guy that deals with Death Gods as if it were a normal occurrence… plus that comment about child abuse didn't leave him with a warm feeling either. "Watch and be amazed at my awesome… awesomeness! Woooo!" Ghost cheered as he slammed both his palms around the seal on Naruto's stomach. Suddenly, a mess of oddly decorated and colored circles erupted from the unconscious boy's stomach and floated several feet off the ground, all perfectly centered around and above the original spiraled seal.

Shikamaru blinked as he took in the sight. He'd read about the Shiki Fūjin in books a few times when he'd decided to brush up on his sealing during his time as a chūnin, but the dozens of colorful rings in front of him were certainly not what he was expecting when the man said that he was going to go through the seal. Regardless, the display in front of him looked extremely complicated and intricate… and beyond troublesome…

"Filter seal, filter seal, where are you?" Ghost was muttering to himself in a childlike manner as he walked around the carnival of rings. "Cage seal, immunizing seal, buffer seals, security seals … hello, there's the emergency response seal that has the Fourth's conscious in it." Ghost commented on a small, dark blue seal near the center of the glowing lights. Shikamaru's eyebrows rose at this comment. "Might want to take a look at that later. Where is… WHAT THE? No wonder he didn't say much about the seal itself. Lazy bastards can make that almost impossible to make last resort seal with a second consciousness, but they don't even bother looking at the bloody filter? Next time I see that fucking 'GOD', I'm gonna get half my links back. There's no excuse for a mistake THIS bad. I swear…"

As Ghost was ranting at and cursing the god of death profusely, Shikamaru looked at the ring that he was analyzing just seconds before. The filter 'seal' was not even a complete circle at this point, much less resembling one. From what he could see, the seal was a rusted ring, colored dull red with several black smudges on it with several large portions missing. Even as it rotated, he could see several flakes fall off and vanish. Shikamaru was rather irritated. Apparently even the legendary Fourth Hokage and an omnipotent god combined could screw up where it counts.

"Okay. Enough ranting. Time to get to work." Ghost sighed, apparently having gotten most of the rage out of his system, before raising the corroded filter seal above the others with a swift motion of his hand and starting to wave both arms in a complicated fashion. As he did so, the target ring slowly grew larger, the gaps between pieces filling in and the color of the ring slowly changing from a rusty red to a solid and sharp purple.

"Filtering frequency conversion from a Holy-class B-rank incomplete demon entity with corrupted dark power reserves to a Base-class A-rank human container with high reserves. Taint frequency at 7.2347256 terra hertz plus or minus .46542 terra hertz. Original conversion of power was at 47 units of power at 96 % corruption per day at an irregular rate. Increasing conversion to 113 units at 3 % corruption per day in a constant stream. Units will increase 3 per day per month, subject to change as needed." Ghost continued to mutter under his breath to himself as he worked on the ring as Shikamaru stared in wonder, taking in what the coated man muttered under his breath.

_'Holy-class B-rank? Base-class A-rank? What system is this guy using? Did he say incomplete demon entity?'_

After about twenty minutes of constant movement, Ghost sighed and let his arms drop. As he did so, the newly formed filter seal dropped into place amongst the other circles, which in turn sank back into the unconscious blonde. When the lights were gone, Shikamaru could see that Naruto's seal had some new lines going from the outside of the spiral to the center before that seal faded from view. As it did, three squads of ANBU appeared out of nowhere and surrounded the three.

"'Bout damn time you guys got here." Ghost shouted impatiently, not even giving the lead ninja time to say anything. "I was wondering if the old man had died after listening to the conversation. He really is getting slow for his age." Some of the ANBU in the back unintentionally chuckled. The three apparent leaders in the front though remained quiet.

"Outsider, you are under arrest for endangering the welfare of two youths of Konoha, as well as entering our village unregistered and stealing village secrets." One of the leaders announced with stern authority.

"How is learning the breast size of that crazy snake chick a village secret?" Ghost asked incredulously, tilting his head to one side.

"…What?" everyone else replied intelligently.

"I said, how is learning the breast size of that crazy snake chick a village secret? I know what other secrets you're referring to, but I knew all about it loooong before I stepped into town. The only real thing that I learned since I got here was how big that crazy bitch's boobs were, and that was a complete accident!" Ghost explained in a childish and tired tone, already in the middle of a rant before anyone noticed or could stop him. "I was looking for the damn ramen stand, completely lost, when I accidentally tripped near the edge of a building. She happened to be walking around the corner and my hands were unfortunately right in front of me. Two seconds later I'm running for my life from a parade containing almost every form of poisonous snake there is and a psycho bitch out for my blood. I don't even know how I managed to get away, but I am not going to go anywhere near her, nor will I now ever purchase anything with snake skin..."

All the ANBU, Shikamaru, and somehow the unconscious Naruto sweat dropped and silence was in the air. They were all wondering either what the size was, or how Ghost had managed to get away without a scratch from the special jōnin, let alone getting away from her at all. Even the experienced jōnin and ANBU knew that escaping from the woman when you became the target of her ire was extremely difficult to say the least.

"And for all who are curious, she is a 36 double D." The man finalized with a perverted grin on his face. "And they had great shape and texture too. Supple and firm enough that they maintain their perky shape without issue, with nipples of a diameter that I will not disclose until further notice."

Everyone face faulted. Through all the chaos though, Shikamaru noticed that several of the ANBU in the back were exchanging money. A little known fact is that ANBU, while usually quiet and secretive, often have betting pools based around the most dangerous, and hence most… interesting subjects. Anko's breast size, while seemingly relatively easy to find out, was actually one of the higher risk pools due to the almost certain mutilation of anyone attempting to find out. Anyone that actually managed the feat were sent to private sessions with her and Ibiki for two months to ensure that the information never got out. Asking Kurenai wouldn't make things any easier. Last person to ask her ended up in rehab for extreme genjutsu induced mental trauma.

Other high stake pools include what Tsunade actually looks like and if the Third would torch his office in a blind rage to get rid of his paperwork before a new Hokage came into office. Current odds were 5 to 1 in favor of the office getting barbequed in the next two years, supported by video recordings of the man muttering to himself in an unstable manner.

"Was this why you were late getting to the stand?" Shikamaru asked.

"That, and I have a pretty bad sense of direction in the first place when it comes to cities, yes." The sunglasses wearing man confirmed with a shrug.

"Why didn't you tell us this before?" The Nara frowned.

"And corrupt your young and innocent minds?" Ghost mock gasped.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru muttered.

"… Homicidal females aside, I don't think I did anything wrong." Ghost spoke up again, catching the ANBU's attention.

"Explain." One of the leaders asked.

"Didn't the old man get the letter from the super pervert?" Ghost asked.

"Letter?" One of the three captains questioned.

"Yeah, letter. Jiraiya was supposed to have sent word of me coming here weeks ago telling the Hokage that I would be coming to… provide services." Ghost said, hinting that what he was doing was confidential. "I was on my way to meet with the old man when I first got here, but came across the kid first and decided to save everyone some time."

"We were not informed." Spoke another ANBU. "We were only informed that an oddly garbed man was tampering with things he shouldn't be and was to be apprehended to ensure the safety of the two children in our presence and possibly the village." Shikamaru's eye twitched. He knew he was technically 12 right now, but it didn't help that he was in many ways more capable than half the shinobi in front of him. "We are then to take you to see the Hokage in his office if you come peacefully. If not, you are to be taken down by any means necessary, alive if possible and interrogated for information. I will have you know that the 'crazy snake bitch' is one of the head interrogators in the village."

"That lazy, good for nothing, fat assed…" Ghost swore under his breath in response to this last bit of information, loud enough for everyone to hear. Shikamaru, on the other hand was mentally patting Ghost on the back for making up such a fast cover story. The letter obviously didn't exist; otherwise Naruto would have passed the test on the previous day and would not currently have such bad control over his body. The letter itself would also serve as a convenient starting point to contact the Toad Sage and bring him in on the situation. No one would question the story because of the reputations of both aging men. Anyone who would normally try to take advantage of their names would end up with more than they bargained for, but Ghost is not normal in the least.

"Okay, this is what is going to happen." Ghost sighed. "Sleeping beauty here is going to be out of it for a while, and when he does wake up, he will be in a large amount of discomfort for a decent amount of time. My guess is roughly two days to a week. The reason WHY he is out of it is due to the services I mentioned earlier. You are to take him directly to his apartment. Nara-san here will join you and watch over the kid until otherwise noted. You can add anyone else to the watch, but the boys stay together, got it? I don't know what your orders were regarding these two, but I'm guessing that the old man wants what's best for them, and right now that is what's best for them. No offence, but I trust the kids right now more than you guys, and since you have no idea what I did, it would be the best option for you as well." Waiting for a response, Ghost planted himself on the ground, crossed his arms, and pouted like a child. "And I am not moving until you agree to follow through with my instructions."

The three ANBU captains, after shaking off the surprise of encountering such a… unique individual, stepped towards Ghost and slowly nodded. Ghost in turn nodded in response and turned to Shikamaru. "Don't let anything funny happen while I'm busy. The seal is going to take some time to settle in, so Naruto is going to feel a bit… unstable for a while. Take care of him."

Shikamaru nodded, muttering his catch phrase as three ANBU stepped forward to escort the boys. One then proceeded to pick Naruto up carefully while the other two flanked the group. They then jumped into the woods and disappeared.

"As for me, I'm guessing that it's straight to the wrinkled monkey, right?" Ghost asked without much concern. Though it was faint, he definitely heard a couple of the remaining ninja snort as they held back their laughter. The remaining captains simply nodded again, still keeping their distance. "Well then, lead the way." Ghost replied cheerfully. "Seriously, lead the way. I almost literally need someone to hold my hand when I'm trying to get to somewhere new. It took me three hours and a near death experience to find that ramen stand. I don't want a second psycho trying to castrate me so soon."

The ANBU in turn face faulted. They couldn't make heads or tails of this guy. One second he's ordering them around like an experienced commander, the next he's asking them to hold his hand to their boss's office, and then he reverts back and repeats. Regaining their legendary (yet utterly shattered) composure, the elites nodded and lead the way to the Hokage's tower, jumping through the trees.

Ghost knew he was confusing the hell out of the ninja, and was fine with that. Despite what many people might assume, Ghost's awkward personality often brings unintended and useful information out of others rather easily, and has often caused opponents to underestimate him.

For example, he knew from the remaining nine ANBUs' reactions that at least two of them were ROOT agents. He knew that none of the ninja that went with Shikamaru were members of ROOT from observing their reactions and breathing rates during his little hissy fit. ROOT agents seemed to have different patterns of breathing and ways of carrying themselves from normal ANBU, and they didn't flinch at his childish behavior. He also knew that his traveling companions were slightly disturbed that he could keep up with them so easily, yet not seem to emit any chakra, energy, noise, or evidence that he was there at all.

This reaction is what Ghost likes to call the shattered mask effect. From experience, Ghost (and his family) found that most if not all people hide behind some sort of emotional mask so often that they more than once confuse their outer personality with their inner personality.

The problem with people who hide themselves perfectly is that their outer mask and their inner self are too different, and so if something happens to either, the person themselves breaks down entirely.

When the mask is poor, however, then the person can be easily read and exploited by other people.

What Ghost does is show bits of his inner and outer self at frequent and irregular rates so often that it leaves most onlookers completely stumped and unable to get an accurate read on him. A perfect, shattered mask that leaves people wondering who or what the real Ghost is without exposing him too much, eventually shattering their own masks in a rather unpleasant way.

That, and Ghost simply likes to fuck with people's heads until they wind up crying in defeat. There's just something magical about watching grown men cry in confusion that can't be found anywhere else.

o. o. o.

Hokage's tower:

Arriving at the large building. Ghost could feel the old man's power from his office. It was certainly potent, yet the distinct signs of age and wear were present, showing that the old man was a fair way past his prime. "Not bad for a decaying raisin doing nothing but paperwork for a decade." Shrugging to himself and still surrounded by a squad of ANBU, he was marched up the stairs and through several hallways in the large building to the office doors, which opened to reveal the Third Hokage sitting behind his desk and smoking a pipe.

_'Jeez, how long has it been since I saw someone use one of those?'_ Ghost pondered as he took in the sight. ' _Was it when we saw the hobbits during the harvest season? No… that wasn't it… the elves during that festival of life about a century back? No, that wasn't it either... ooh! I remember! Five years ago at that Christmas party when we went out and found that crazy drunk pretending to be a Jewish Santa Claus while he was raiding that pawn shop! Heheh. Even the police were confused as hell when they first saw him... then Crypt, Shadow and I made off with that TV and pinball machine while no one was looking. Ahh. Good times…'_

"You seem to be rather undisturbed, despite the fact that you were discovered." The ruler commented, relaxed but stern and on edge at the same time. He nodded his head to the ANBU escort. They immediately disappeared. Three ANBU remained, hiding in the room. Luckily, none were ROOT. "I find it interesting that Jiraiya came in just last week, but he never said anything about you. Care to explain this to me?"

"Well, I could respond to that question, but I would prefer if we were speaking in private. Some of the things we are about to talk about really shouldn't reach the public. Large scale civil unrest and all that stuff. Standard secret information bullshit." Ghost replied casually, lying down across a couple of chairs in front of the desk with no tact whatsoever.

"Are you implying that my protectors would leak confidential information?" Sarutobi asked with a warning tone.

"No, but I am implying that two of the ANBU that escorted me here were ROOT agents. While my presence in the village has already been compromised, I'd rather keep the annoying cripple in the dark than give him the entire scope of our plans and what I can do." Ghost casually said, while picking his nose with his pinkie. Needless to say, that shut up the ruler of the Leaf fast. By the time he got his senses back together, Ghost was already sleeping in his chairs, although it doesn't really take long for that to happen.

Twitching rather violently, Sarutobi sighed and waved his hand, which was the signal for the three ANBU in his room to leave. He then made a few hand signs and sighed again. "There, the room is sealed and there is no one else in the room but us. Now can you please tell me what the hell you are doing in my village?"

Slowly getting up, Ghost yawned. "Yeah, just one sec." Reaching into one of his pockets, took out a pair of ear plugs and tossed them to the Hokage. "You might want to put those in. I'm just making sure that no one will know what is happening." Confused, the old man did what he said. Just as he did so, Ghost rubbed his neck with his right hand and shrieked silently. Then he made a motion to his ears that meant that the old man could take the plugs out. As he did, he noticed the smell of something burning.

"What did you do?" The old man asked, taking the plugs out of his ears.

"That, my friend, was a high frequency shriek. It is specifically tuned to destroy any recording devices or seals of said nature within its range, however it can damage a person's ears if they aren't careful. That, and it's bloody murder on my throat." Ghost coughed a little.

Taking in a breath through his nose, the man continued, "Judging by the smell, I do believe that your room was previously bugged with at least two seals that transmitted your conversations to someone else. Unfortunately for the listeners, they now have severe eardrum ruptures. You might want to look in the next few days for any ANBU or other ninja that are taking sick leave due to ear problems or symptoms of ear problems. Now, I believe you wanted to talk to me about something?" By the time he finished, Sarutobi was shocked. The man had, in a few seconds, revealed and exploited several leaks and came up with how to deal with the leaks in a way that would reveal more information.

Lying back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose and taking a deep breath, Sarutobi gathered his thoughts. "From what I have seen so far, I can at least assume you aren't trying to cause disorder in my village for the time being, and that you are a man of many talents. However, your appearance and how you came across the information that you have troubles me greatly. Can you please start off by explaining to me what exactly is happening…?" The old man trailed off as he looked up and saw that Ghost had fallen asleep.

"LISTEN TO ME DAMN IT!" The old man bellowed, using the big head technique that is known to all chūnin teachers. Ghost jumped out of his chair and landed on the floor in a heap. "I'll make this nice and fast. Who are you, why are you here, and what do you want."

"Fine, fine, killjoy" Ghost muttered as he got back to his seat. "Okay. To keep thing short, I am a traveler of many universes, and happen to have several unique and potent powers. You can call me Ghost. Shit went bad in this world and I happened to be passing through. I wiped the board clean and reset everything to last night. Why? Because I was bored and am interested in screwing around with the blonde idiot and pulling pranks. Most of the information you want to know, you already learned while spying on the kids and I earlier."

The Third Hokage frowned. "Even if I believe you, which is still questionable given your explanation, why should I allow someone like you to run around the village unsupervised while you do unknown things to the children of Konoha's most prominent clans?"

"What you saw regarding the young Nara was Naruto giving him his erased memories back to him, which would explain the more mature look he got as soon as his headache passed." Sarutobi nodded in comprehension. "I happen to have swiped one of the links from Naruto's body while I was fixing his seal to give to you." Ghost continues as he conjures a black chain link from his hand and tossed it to Sarutobi. The old man caught the link effortlessly and examined it with a careful eye.

"How I got here is not really that important. It's funny as hell, but not important. As for why Naruto was the only one to remember everything right off the bat, well it's because he was the focus of the 'time purging', and as thus was only physically affected by the cleanup. Not only that, but the kid will be in the middle of a lot of shit coming soon and will need all the help he can get. I let the Nara kid get his memory back because he changed the least over the four years - yes, four years - that passed. Not only that, but the kid is a freaking genius. I'm talking about planning over two hundred steps ahead of time accurately smart. That combination of laziness and smarts pretty much ensures that he won't change much in regards to the timeline, and will be as an effective resource for other matters. Naruto needed someone to talk with that he fully trusts anyway."

"And he doesn't trust me?" Hiruzen asked with a disbelieving tone. He still doubted the man's story, but thinking that Naruto didn't trust him was certainly pushing his limits.

"It's not that, it's just that he can't risk telling you too much and changing everything in the process. It's been a long time since you died in his eyes." Ghost shrugged casually.

_'I died?'_ Sarutobi frantically shouted while maintaining his stern façade.

"Now, before we get any farther, I suggest you press that link up to your forehead. Your headache will be a lot shorter than the bum's for reasons you will know once you get all your memories. Until you do, I'm back to sleeping." As Ghost laid down, Sarutobi stared at him, then at the chain, then back to the already sleeping man, proven by the snot bubble forming out of his nose.

Dead panning, the old man turned to the piece of metal in his hand. "Well, I didn't become Hokage by not taking any risks." He murmured as he pressed the link to his forehead.

… Fifteen minutes later, the old man's breathing steadied and he managed to sit up straight again. "I thought it was supposed to take an hour." The ruler groaned, rubbing the spot on his chest where Orochimaru stabbed him right before he died.

"It would have if you lived for the entire time." Ghost responded, though not making any real physical indication that he was awake. "But since you died roughly a year from now, you only had a fraction as many memories as everyone else." He got up, "Speaking of dying, can you roll up your sleeves for a sec?"

Sarutobi, curious as to why the man needed to see his arms, complied. "So I can assume that there was no letter from my student?"

"Not yet." Ghost replied.

As he rolled up his right sleeve, he noticed a chain link tattoo on his forearm. "Why do I have a link? I thought it was one use and it's gone."

Reaching out and pressing his palm against the mark, Ghost responded. "It is, but if the memories of someone who died in the time period erased are restored, that person gains a link per time they died or came very close to dying. Naruto himself is a prime example of this. He literally almost died five times between now and the four years that supposedly happened, hence he got five links." Ghost then pulled back his hand with the link in it and shoved it in his pants pocket. "I already know how the links are going to be used, and who is going to get them. As for when, well, some are more clear than others. For right now though, I think there won't be any more memory restorations until at least the team signings...wait, scratch that, there will be at least three more before then. And YES, the teams will stay the same." Ghost interrupted, seeing that the old man was about to suggest something.

"You will not, under any circumstances make major changes the timeline without my say so. You don't know what happened after you died, and I will tell Shikamaru and Naruto to only tell you the bare minimum in order to prevent you from doing anything drastic. The butterfly effect alone is a complete bitch to deal with, and I know that we are going to deal with a lot of those in the future. That means you will not be told who died or who the enemy is unless my consent is given. And especially don't talk to anyone about Sasuke. Things went bad with that kid after you died. You can, however ask them what they and everyone else are capable of. I think you will be especially proud of Naruto." Ghost said with a grin.

"Let me guess." The old man chuckled, "He made Hokage."

"Nope." Ghost grinned while Sarutobi face faulted. "The poor brat was still a genin even after all the crap he's been through. But otherwise he had an impressive record. Fighting and beating S-rank criminals after his blood…"

Beads of sweat started to form on the wrinkled forehead.

"Mastering Sage Mode and nature chakra to a higher degree than Jiraiya…"

His eyes were bulging out of his head at this point.

_'And for the finisher.'_ Ghost smirked.

"Completing and perfecting his FATHER'S other signature jutsu." The old man nearly had a heart attack, due to the combined shock of knowledge of his successor's legacy being known to this complete stranger and the impact of such a powerful technique actually being completed. "Oh yes, he knows all right. He hasn't told a soul about it, though. I doubt that he thinks that I know. What I want to know is…" Ghost slowly got closer to the heavily breathing old man, putting on a serious face, "why didn't you tell him? Why did you not tell a boy who had literally nothing, with no one to fall back on, about who he was?"

Sarutobi was close to shitting himself at this point. He could feel this man's anger and intent leaking out of him… and for the first time the old Hokage started to believe that this person could really do the things he claimed he had done. All of them.

"He… he was too young. Too inexperienced. If word got out that he was the son of Minato, everyone would send ninja to…" The grandfather stammered, trying to excuse himself from what the man was accusing him of.

Ghost's frown deepened "Cut the crap, old man. If you wanted to ensure that Naruto stayed quiet, you could at least have told him right after the Zabuza mission. Bring up the idea that if he told anyone the secret then dozens of people as strong and twisted as Zabuza would come to kill him would shut him up pretty damn fast. I mean you already did a piss poor job of giving the kid a decent childhood. Wouldn't you think?" The air in the room was dead still. Unnaturally so. "… I know what I think. I think that you were scared. You weren't prepared to handle what would happen if you told the kid, and you kept on putting it off while the poor kid got the shit kicked out of him by the villagers on a weekly basis."

"B-But I'm sure Jiraiya…" The third breathed out hesitantly, grasping at straws at the moment.

"Died." Ghost interrupted, his temper rising at the mention of the sage. "Trying to find out the secret to the 'leader' of the Akatsuki. Lazy perverted dip shit didn't even tell the kid that he was his own GODFATHER. Idiot did a piss poor job training the kid over a two year period, too. Only taught the kid Rasengan, summoning, some tricks that come with summoning, and helped fine tune his tactics. Two of which he was already entitled to in the first place and the third he could have gotten by training under anyone with half a brain and moderate teaching skills. You just proved my point by telling me that the bastard was in town just last week, and I know for a fact that the kid did not even lay eyes on him until after the preliminaries."

Sarutobi swallowed heavily, both due to being in the man's presence and fearing what he would do to his student should they ever cross paths. "T-Tsunade?"

"Your runaway drunk was sent into a coma fighting said leader two weeks later. She was the only one of you has-beens that didn't completely shaft the kid. She still didn't do much, though. Naruto managed to get back just in time to beat some sense into the paranoid idiot, but too late to prevent Konoha from becoming a giant hole in the ground… literally." The man replied with a disappointed tone. "The only reason that the kid even knows is because during that fight, he was pushed mentally to such extremes that he snapped and almost let the Kyūbi out. It just so happened that the Fourth put an emergency response function in the seal to react in the form of his consciousness when Naruto lets out 8 TAILS. So in the end the poor kid didn't find out anything about his family until he was pushed to the edge of his sanity and had his home village wasted. In the meantime, the people that were supposed to take care of him and treat him like family were all too busy doing something else to bother with him, figuring that one of the others would get to it." Ghost clapped his hands in mock applause. "Yeah, good job."

Sarutobi knew he was at this man's mercy. Despite his appearance, the aura he gave off and the intent leaking out of his body screamed dangerous in a way that made it clear that there was no hope of escape. Combined with his knowledge of village secrets, Ghost was pretty much untouchable. The only thing that gave the old man solace was the fact that Ghost seemed to be on his side. He was not used to being in the position of taking orders instead of giving them after being Hokage for several decades, but the old man knew this was one of those times to stand down, take the verbal thrashing, and pray it didn't get worse.

"This is what is going to happen." Ghost growled softly, clearly annoyed with the situation. "Sometime after the kid finally adapts to his seal and is decently far into his training, you are going to talk to him. YOU are going to tell him everything about his parents, both of them. The poor moron still doesn't know anything about Kushina. Hell, **I** don't know anything about Kushina aside from her name, what she looked like and where she came from, and that's three things more than the he does. You will NOT tell him how pissed I am at you or his other teachers - and yes, they'll get their ass whipping as well - nor will you give him whatever is left of the Namikaze properties, which I trust you have kept in decent condition." The Hokage nodded nervously. He was planning on giving Minato's belongings to the boy when he made chūnin, but that apparently never happened.

"Good. Giving all of that to him now will draw too much attention. As for bank accounts, you will start to leak funds from the accounts into Naruto's own accounts to avoid any suspicion, as I am going to be staying with the kid for a while and plan on getting him some custom made equipment. Plus, I'm flat broke and need a place to crash. You will, however, eventually take him to the estates so you can get him any and all family jutsu scrolls, and I won't bother with Hiraishin, we don't need it. If anything, I would make a copy for my brother Crypt just for kicks. He's heard about the technique and is curious about various design aspects and functions of the seals. Teleportation has long since been done, but there are some other things about the technique that warrant some investigation." The old man was sweating profusely and shaking like crazy.

_'He doesn't need to learn the Flying Thunder God Technique? What is he?'_

Ghost sat down on his chair and smirked evilly. "I plan on training the boy for the next three months in town, during which he will be excused from the academy. You can use today's incident as an excuse and say he is in rehabilitation. I assume that there are some training grounds that no one is using at the moment that we can claim, correct?"

The utterly defeated man could only nod.

"Good. I can only teach the boy so much in taijutsu, given that his body and style in general are different than mine. I can teach him a few tricks and increase his effectiveness with his current arsenal of techniques. Ninjutsu-wise, I have nothing for now. I am not trained in the usage in chakra, however I am very flexible when it comes to inner energies and expect someone to train me in at least unlocking and using this power to a certain degree sometime in the near future. Age is no issue." As he said this, Ghost literally shrunk until he looked like a six year old, clothes and all. "I am capable of changing my age and appearance very easily." He changed back.

"Once I have mastered chakra to an appropriate extent, I plan on making only one personal jutsu, which I will then teach Naruto eventually. In short, it would be a forbidden wind-style jutsu, one that requires a large amount of chakra and special training to perform, so no one would be able to copy it even if they knew the hand signs. I can already perform the technique without chakra or hand signs, however I feel like the kid will need it sometime in the future, despite his current list of skills."

Sarutobi blanched. From what he remembered, Naruto could summon, could perform the shadow clone technique to a great extent, and apparently could perform Rasengan, its completed form, and Sage Mode. … Why was he still a genin? He should be at least a jōnin by now.

"As for internal affairs, the only two that have my interest at the moment are Danzō and Mizuki." The old man's eyes hardened as he remembered the two liabilities to his village's peace. "For Danzō, keep a close eye on the guy. Use what you remembered to cut him off at as many turns you can without drawing attention to yourself. Try to get more dirt on him while you're at it as well. The fucking bastard caused a lot of shit to happen last time, and I want to see him _squirm_."

"As for Mizuki, let him be. The poor sap is nothing to worry about. Repeat the graduation incident again to get the kid another look at the Forbidden Scroll without raising any heads. There are some techniques I think he can only learn from that scroll without getting into any real trouble. However, this time you better kill the fucker when he's brought in." Ghost paused, remembering something.

"Back to Danzō, though. His agents have probably already told him that I am in the village and have done something to Naruto. While I do want to show off in front of the council and make them shit themselves like you are now (he wasn't really, but was close enough), now is not the right time to do so." Ghost started to pace across the room while the seasoned veteran focused on the task of getting his heart rate below the red.

"I got it." Ghost muttered. "You will not say anything about me until Danzō brings me up, probably in front of the council in an attempt to embarrass you." Sarutobi grumbled in agreement. That probably is what the paranoid war hawk would do. "When he does, you will tell everyone there that I was sent here by Jiraiya to repay him for a favor he did for me a while back. Hence the letter. Tell them that I was sent here supervise and/or fix Naruto's seal, partially because I am… experienced with people with his condition. My sister has a demon dragon goddess… thing, living in her gut, and I can assure you the Kyūbi has nothing on her." Ghost shivers, remembering several particularly bad experiences at the hands of his sister or her tenant, or quite often both.

He continued, "Soon, and hopefully before our story is put to the test, I expect you to send a message to said super pervert telling him to play along with the story. Tell him to be in a predetermined village near Konoha in a little over three months, and to have at least a decent idea where Tsunade is at that time. I plan to go on a sightseeing trip after my three month training session with the kid and bring a few more allies onto our little club. They won't be coming back with me, though. We are going to play this as close to last time as possible when it comes to most of the big pieces. The opposition won't expect anything if the pieces on the board are moving like they are supposed to." Ghost proclaimed.

o. o. o.

In another universe:

Somewhere in another universe, a man with short, spiky brown hair with green tips, in a zipped up black trench/lab coat with a dark emerald green flame around the bottom sneezed while working on his latest three dozen experiments at once.

"Ghost used one of my copyrighted lines. Now the bastard owes me another twenty bucks." He muttered in a tone that was awfully similar to a certain sand jinchūriki.

o. o. o.

Back in the tower:

Ghost shivered. ' _Why do I have the feeling I owe Scabbard more money?'_ "Any questions?"

Sarutobi merely nodded his head before gathering his thoughts and focusing on major events that happened last time. "Zabuza and Orochimaru?"

Ghost grinned. "Oh yeah, almost forgot about those two. One of the major…'tweaks' I'm planning involves the sword bastard and his ice minion. That reminds me. In order to ensure that we at least get the two to co-operate with us, I need to check this hunch I have." Ghost paused, deep in thought. "I need you to get me as much information you have on the current and previous Mizukage." The Hokage nodded again mutely while contemplating what could Ghost's hunch be.

"Just try to change the script as little as possible from your end. Same Team 7, no backup. If I'm right, we might be able to play this so that Konoha gets a new sword master and a new bloodline." Ghost smirked. "Well, I say Konoha, but really I'm just doing this for Naruto and his group. As for the gay pedophile mass rapist, leave him. It's too dangerous to attempt to do anything to him now. Doing so would only make him do something different if we fail to kill him or attract too much attention, which would most likely happen if you tried."

"Are you saying Konoha is weak?" The Hokage growled.

"No, I'm saying that the freak is too strong, cunning, smart AND paranoid to assume we can kill him on our first try or on time." Ghost deadpanned. "We can at least make sure that we know what he is going to do by not doing anything other than maybe a few more patrols right before the final exams to lessen the collateral damage during the invasion and trying to get a little more info on the Hidden Sound. Anything more will be too risky until the invasion takes place. Why ruin a perfectly good trap setup?"

Sarutobi reluctantly nodded. While he may be putting his village at risk again, this time he could at least be prepared for what happens and make a few hidden precautions for his ex-student. The thought of Orochimaru's future and past actions flooded the old man's head.

Ghost sighed. "You really should have killed him when you had the chance. Why you let him go when you found him in his lab experimenting on villagers that he kidnapped himself is beyond me. Speaking from experience, independent mad scientist types that go off the deep end are one of the few cases where you really can't make them good again. The best you can do is offer them some interesting work and hope they don't screw you over, but this one is way too dangerous to put on a stable pay roll."

Sarutobi breathed out slowly as he rubbed his temple, trying to come to terms with what was happening. "I assume that during this time you will be serving under me under the guise of an independent shinobi that decided to join the village?"

Ghost shrugged. "More or less, except my family is more than likely going to come her eventually anyways, so you might get a new clan here… though odds are you'll have to bend the rules a bit for us considering our… unique behavioral patterns."

The Third Hokage frowned as he attempted to assert control over the conversation for once. "I can't do that. I make sure that there are no special cases in this village, and if I did so there would be rumors in the council about my competence…"

The temperature dropped several degrees as Ghost spoke to the old man in a tone as cold as ice that seemed to echo around the small room, "Remember this **BOY**. I hold no alliance to any village, and am strong enough to take out this village in SECONDS. Your silly village rules have no impact on me, and I am very, VERY good at making things disappear, forever. Let the foolish children talk. That's all they are able to do. You are supposed to be the ruler here, the God of Shinobi… pathetic. Look at yourself for once. If this is what you've become then I truly believe your balls have shriveled and fallen off." He spat to the side.

"If you truly need someone to give you advice and hold your hand, then we will be the ones that guide you in the right direction, for ONCE. Don't bend to those bickering weaklings. As long as you don't piss me off, I won't do anything. I will not be directly involved in any of the major fighting unless absolutely necessary or unless someone else somehow gets in the game… it would cause unnecessary things to occur if I did, and I want the kid earn his way to a better future, not be given it."

Turning around and walking a few steps, Ghost finish up his tirade, "You have a long way to go if you even want to attempt to get my respect. Feel lucky that I'm giving you a chance to even earn it. Shinigami-san looked like he was about to go munch on your soul for a second time when I saw him. The kid would probably try to kick my ass if I didn't give you a shot though, not like he could ever. Now if you will excuse me, I need to check on Naruto's condition before I get some rest."

And with that the man vanished. Not vanished as in faded from view or disappear in a puff of smoke like how most ninjas exit. No, he simply blinked out of view.

Looking down, the man realized that he had long ago dropped his pipe on the ground, and the tobacco covered the floor around it. As he tried to pick it up, he noticed that his hands were shaking uncontrollably.

Fear. Absolute terror. Something he had not experienced for several decades. He had been scared when Asuma ran off to be part of the Twelve Shinobi Guardians. He had just barely held firm when the Hyūga-Kumo fiasco unraveled itself from right under his nose. He had even seen the Kyūbi on its rampage several years before. He had of course participated in the battle despite his retired status, but the battle was so uphill that he couldn't help be terrified out of his mind as he attempted to drive off the beast. But this… this was beyond anything he had ever experienced before. He was absolutely helpless against a power he did not even want to understand…

It reminded him of the sole time in his childhood when he had saw Madara Uchiha… unusually so… only worse.

The man who was known as the Professor, the God of Shinobi, was shaking… like a leaf. As he abandoned his pipe, the old man retired to his chair and placed his unstable hands over his face. "It seems no matter what I do, things seem to keep on slipping out of my hands." He murmured. "I really am too old for this."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Naruto's current chakra control would be currently about halfway through the original time skip, with the additional chakra in his system and the different body which would be about the same as what he had before the seal was fixed. The reason for this is that the corruption in the unfiltered chakra messed up Naruto's control, and the new chakra added to his system puts the same level of strain on his system, but none of the poisonous effects. Thus his body is reacting the same, but his mind is stronger than it was previously, bringing the two further out of sync and halving his efficiency. That is, until the training starts.

It seems that people don't like strong OCs… sigh. Okay. People, if you like all those fanfics where the Kyūbi is a girl… that is a strong OC right there. Not OOC, but OC. No matter what people say, Kyūbi is a giant evil fox, and that is it.

Here, Kyūbi will be a giant fox. Not a girl that wants to jump the kid's bones, not a human formed bastard, but a giant fox that is still very, very cunning, dark, and not very nice. All the OCs will not do any major fighting to save the world, (except Hidan… I have something special for him, evil laughing) they will mainly be there to progress the story, be comic relief, and make everyone stronger. Any ass kicking they do will look one sided even if they are only using a fraction of their power simply due to the fact that they know how to fight and have over 2000 years of experience fighting strong opponents. They limit themselves, so they are at elite jōnin level if they have no extreme physical changes. If they have wings, then it gets overboard. Stop complaining, I'm giving you guys heads up that they are strong, which is more than what most writers do.

Please review, my ego needs nourishment.

P.S. To anyone who knows what Dead Fantasy is, Monty Oum just finished number 3. And it is nice, **very… very** nice. Here's to 4 and 5 coming out just as soon.

P.P.S. To anyone who doesn't know what Dead Fantasy is, you tube it **now** or there is something drastically wrong with you, the guy pretty much made the entire thing by HIMSELF. That is talent.


	5. Back to Reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 5: Back to Reality

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

This is a Naru/Hina pairing, but I might add another one or two girls in the mix, not Sakura. The story is mostly humor and pure awesomeness though. Sappy stuff won't happen that often.

The story is rated M for bad violence, sexual innuendo, future blood and gore, and possible future lemons… haven't decided that bit yet.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

" **blah blah"** : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

o. o. o.

With Hinata:

Hinata was starting to get worried. It had been almost two weeks since Naruto started skipping school. Iruka-sensei had told the class that Naruto was involved in an accident and would be spending the next few months in rehab, so he couldn't come to the academy for a while, but that didn't make any sense. Hinata had 'observed' Naruto for years and had seen some of the beatings he had gotten from the villagers. Each time, no matter how bad the beating, Naruto had nothing more than scratches within a few days, if that. He hadn't once been sick, either. Any sick day he had was just an excuse to cut class. So the question was, where was Naruto? Why didn't he come to class? And why was he so… different the day before he disappeared?

Hinata was still cursing herself for passing out, let alone being out of it for the entire day and missing Naruto leave school. Hiashi was not pleased when he got word of Hinata's fainting spell, and there was proof after her small training session with him later that day, which several elders watched with smirks on their faces. She was still aching from having several of her tenketsu closed in a rather violent manner. At least Neji was gone on a weeklong mission. She did not want to deal with his 'you are fated to be weak' speeches right now.

All her other classmates didn't seem to notice or care that the blonde loudmouth wouldn't show up, or if they did, they were glad he was gone. Most if not all of them hated Naruto, because either their parents or friends turned them against him, or because they didn't like his loud personality, or simply because he kept trying to be better than Sasuke (which was main reason for the fan girls… and some boys). It saddened her that so many people could hate him for no decent reason. Naruto was a bit loud and obnoxious at times, but he was one of the nicest people she knew.

What was more frustrating was that when Hinata asked Iruka-sensei about what had happened to Naruto, he only responded that he'd gotten a message from the Hokage saying that Naruto was excused from class for a few months due to classified reasons regarding his health.

Of course, what Hinata didn't know was that Iruka was suspicious of this excuse as well and went to ask the Hokage what these classified reasons were. Needless to say, all the old man would tell him was that it regarded the Kyūbi and that it would all be taken care of three months, which technically wasn't a lie. It wasn't like Iruka would start telling the class that Naruto's absence was giant demon fox related, so he just gave everyone the vague explanation he was handed earlier.

This unsurprisingly did nothing to sate Hinata's curiosity about this poorly hidden mystery. As the days went on, the pale eyed girl patiently waited, telling herself that it would be rude to intrude on his private recovery.

She lasted a week, which was pretty impressive considering her … level of interest with the boy.

While academy classes did take place on Saturday in addition to weekdays, Saturday classes were only half a day long. As soon as class was over that day, Hinata ran out of the classroom. After telling Kurenai that she wouldn't need an escort today, the shy brunette made a beeline straight for Naruto's apartment. As she was approaching the complex, she saw Naruto in his flashy orange jumpsuit and a stranger walk out of his apartment. The man was almost six feet tall and had messy long dark brown hair in a low ponytail, yet had some low spikes as bangs. His eyes were completely covered by a pair of tinted sunglasses, and he wore a white tee-shirt with an odd black tribal design on the front, tan cargo pants and brown steel toed boots. (He'd decided to ditch the coat that day because it was really hot out) Hiding behind a mail box, Hinata was confused.

_'He looks like he's in perfect health. Why would he need three months off if he already seems fully recovered?'_

Suspicious of the stranger with her crush, Hinata activated her Byakugan and gasped. The air in the entire area was laced with what seemed like chakra, all originating from the stranger. It looked like the entire area was shimmering with life, extending several hundred feet into the air and far past the buildings in the district, and constantly expanding as random air currents spread the cloud even further. It was beautiful, but scary at the same time. Redirecting her bloodline at the man again, Hinata tried to see the man's eyes, but to no avail. His sunglasses were laced with this odd energy that prevented her eyes from penetrating them. She could tell that there was something else strange about the glasses, but she couldn't tell what. She could, however see his chest and back, and what she saw made her cringe.

On the opposite side of his chest from his heart, his chest had caved in, like something large and hot had punched a hole partway through. Circling the small hole slightly underneath his skin was a complete chain circle. Each white link pulsed very slightly but constantly in synch with the others, yet they did not seem to irritate the stranger in the least, and did not seem to have any impact on his body at all.

On the man's back were two long, deep, parallel, vertical gashes. Each one was a few inches to either side of his spine, and ran from his shoulder blades to halfway down his lower back.

His chakra system was different as well. While most civilian and ninjas systems look similar to the nervous system or the blood stream, varying in thickness and flow, the man's system was almost impossible to read. His chakra… or what seemed like chakra, was exiting his body at a rate that stopped her dōjutsu from seeing farther into his body, yet she was sure that she could make out… a second chakra system? That couldn't be right…

As she took all this in, Naruto and the stranger walked down the street in the direction of the training grounds, chatting and occasionally hitting each other like siblings. Hinata, wanting to discover what the two were doing, carefully followed, never noticing the new changes in her crush, nor the faint smile on the stranger's face as they continued to the training grounds.

o. o. o.

With Naruto and Ghost:

It was the nearing the end of the first week of training. After several days of cursing his head off, Naruto's body finally adapted to the upgraded seal. The blonde spent almost a week in constant pain and irritation, which was only worsened by the fact that Ghost often disappeared from the area to gather 'information' around the town and to talk to the Hokage, which was half true. The other half of the time was spent flirting with women, hiding from Anko, and constantly knocking out ROOT agents trying to spy on him and setting them up in the girls section of bath houses in suggestive positions with odd costumes on.

The town was still talking about the pirate, space alien and giraffe bondage incident. Coincidentally, the two had recently obtained a fair amount of high quality equipment through no suspicious means in the slightest.

The Nara came back a couple days into the recovery process to check up on things. He was less then amused when Naruto started to swear profusely at him when he asked if Naruto was alright.

Ghost told Shikamaru that it was nice of him to check up on things, but it would be wise if he didn't show up much for a while. He informed the Nara about the ROOT spies, and told him to lay low for a while and avoid as much suspicion as possible. If he was asked about what happened, he should tell them a slightly twisted truth: that Naruto was asked by a friend (Ghost) to bring him over to play a game of shōgi. After they had met up and had ramen, Ghost suddenly acted all serious and started to talk about some seal and dragged them both the abandoned field where he did something to Naruto, Shikamaru helping only after Ghost told him it was to save Naruto's life. What they did, he had no clue, and deemed it too troublesome at the time to find out. Right after they finished, the ANBU showed up and Shikamaru went with the unconscious Naruto to make sure he was with someone he could trust. When asked about the seal, Shikamaru would just say that it was too troublesome to follow and that he just did what Ghost told him to, which was really just holding the man's equipment to give him a free pair of hands to work with.

Shikamaru looked impressed, which made Ghost laugh a bit. "When you have an emotionally unstable and violent little sister that hoards all the sweets to herself, you either get very good at making up stories on the spot, you gain the ability to run VERY far, VERY fast, or you end up dead and/or mutilated, especially after 2000 years."

o. o. o.

Flashback:

" **WHO THE FUCK ATE MY LAST KLONDIKE BAR!?** "

Many screams of mercy and pain were heard that day from several terrified veteran warriors, a scientist, two computer hackers, the local ice cream guy, a giant crab… and a mailbox.

No one ever asked the girl what she would do for a Klondike bar ever again. EVER.

o. o. o.

The next day, Naruto recovered enough to get out of bed, and fall face first on the floor after completely forgetting that he still had no control over his body. This caused an hour long tirade of more swearing, profuse language, and Ghost's lack of using his respiratory system efficiently due to extreme laughter.

As the blonde went to the bathroom for a much needed shower, he paused by the mirror and screamed at the top of his pre-teen lungs.

Naruto's face had changed. Not drastically, but it was noticeable to those who actually looked. His dark blue eyes had become slit and his whisker marks had thickened a bit, about half way between normal and Kyūbi mode. He had slightly less baby fat on his face, and his hair had also grown by an inch or two, making him look more like how he did after he came back after his three year training trip.

Even after the time it took for Naruto to recover from shock and take his shower - luckily he had hot water that morning - , Ghost was still struggling to breathe from the hilarity. Full recovery was not achieved until a swift kick in the sack was applied by a very irritated boy-teen. Results were, of course, instant.

After eating at Ichiraku's - and regaining normal sensitivity in the nether regions – they made sure that Naruto's head was covered with a large black and dark orange striped bucket hat (similar to Urahara's from Bleach) so that the villagers couldn't see the changes. The two made their way slowly to training grounds 82, which was very similar to the one they had used earlier, but with more open fields and a river running through it.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

_Ghost stood in front of Naruto in the middle of the training grounds with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. "Okay, Naruto. While we are training, you are going to do to your shadow clones what Orochimaru does to little boys."_

" _I'm going to give my clones cursed hickies and twist their minds to insanity?" Naruto asked in a nervous and disgusted tone._

_Ghost chuckled. "No, you are going to abuse the living fuck out of them… although I myself will in fact twist all of your minds to insanity regardless… with great power comes great mental instability and all that crap."_

" _That's not much better." The boy deadpanned while thinking of all the obscure and clearly insane shinobi he had encountered in the past/future._

_Wham._

_Naruto was on the ground with a decently large bump on his head. "With your cleaner chakra system, you can make more clones with less effort, seeing as the taint in your system that screwed with your control is gone. You still won't be able to do a normal clone ever, and you still don't have the combined reserves and control to make a thousand clones at once yet, but you will waste less chakra doing… well, everything. Regardless, I have a new way to use the Shadow clone training method that will give you even more training in less time, but for right now just make as many clones as you can and start to get control of your body again. It's kind of pointless to be able to blow up a village if you can't even get there in one piece in the first place. Start with walking."_

_Nodding, Naruto created six hundred clones and started to practice walking as Ghost watched. He didn't have to worry about the Kyūbi making a sudden appearance since Ghost made sure that the only time that the filter would let more chakra through was if Naruto was in a life or death situation or if Naruto intentionally let some through or, of course, if the kid had an extreme mental breakdown. It also helped that some things were 'said' during Ghost's meeting with the demon that would make the fur ball carefully think about his future actions._

_After about an hour, Ghost shouted. "OKAY! Now listen up! I want all of you to make a line. When I give the signal, race in that direction as far as you can without falling or dispelling yourselves!" After the clones lined up, Ghost gave the signal. While it was an amusing sight, seeing several copies of the same kid race himself in an awkward fashion, there was a difference between the clones. A majority of the clones made it about fifty feet, give or take. The farthest managed to make it about 75 feet before falling._

" _All right!" Ghost continued, standing at the 65 foot mark. "I want all the clones that made it farther than where I am now to dispel themselves. The rest of you continue practicing. We will repeat this exercise again in another hour." As the farthest clones dispelled themselves, roughly 50 of them, the others suddenly blinked and grinned, understanding what Ghost had done and what he was getting at._

o. o. o.

While using shadow clones to train for extended periods of time was a great way to gain experience fast, there was yet another way to make it go even faster. What Kakashi and in turn Naruto forgot to realize is that when a clone dispels itself, its memories are not only sent to the original, but to **all** the other clones as well, giving them 'experience' as well. Ghost, knowing that this forgotten fact can and should be exploited to the fullest, created a training method based on this idea.

For example, if a ninja creates four clones and trains for four hours with the clones, he will have gained a total of twenty hours of training. However, if the ninja dispels one clone per hour, after four hours he would have gained the experience of thirty hours, one and a half times what he would have gotten if he kept the clones constant, and almost eight times the amount if he'd trained by himself.

Not only that, but the person would be saving chakra from not keeping as many clones active at once compared to before - not that Naruto actually needed to save chakra - , and they would be saving time by reducing the strain on the original's brain due to the clones being dispelled over time instead of all at once, reducing the time it takes the original to recover from the influx of experience. The result would only be greater using more clones and dispelling the ones who were getting the farthest in their training, giving the remaining clones a better idea of what they should be doing in the first place. Using this method, Ghost planned to kick Naruto's training into high gear. The clones would be less effective when it came to training the boy's muscle memory, but he would know how to move his body better, which would in turn make the adaptation process go that much smoother.

By the end of the week, Naruto had already gained full control over his body, re-mastered all the hand seals to an acceptable speed, and was halfway done re-mastering the Frog-fu kata that didn't require sage chakra. They had also made sure that Naruto could at least perform the transformation and the replacement techniques decently before they had left that night.

o. o. o.

In the training grounds:

As they arrived at the field again, Ghost turned to Naruto. "You know what to do."

Naruto nodded and formed the cross seal, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Six hundred clones proofed into existence. Naruto swore he could have heard a squeaking noise, but decided to ignore it.

Ghost sighed as he stretched his arms. "Okay, this time I want a hundred of you to continue doing the kata, while the rest of you start working on your chakra control. Clean system or not, it still sucks something awful."

Naruto growled. He hated it when people pointed out his weaknesses, especially when they weren't his fault, and chakra control was one of his more glaring red spots.

Ghost continued. "Two hundred start doing the leaf balancing exercise. Yes, leaf balancing, that shit will be very useful later on. One hundred start the tree climbing, one hundred do water walking, and the rest will work on your wind element, cutting leaves between the fingers of one hand, each clone using only one hand. Make sure that half of you are using your left and the other half your right. Use the same method as yesterday; train one hour, then dispel the top ten or so and repeat, twenty for the leaf balancing. And if I see any of you arguing about who is better I swear, clone or not you WILL feel my foot up your ass."

All the clones gulped and went to their tasks. The original was praying to all that was holy that his clones behaved, as he did not want to 'experience' multiple sessions of a wide steel toed boot up his butt. Kakashi's Thousand Years of Death technique was bad enough.

Ghost then turned his attention to the real Naruto. "While they are doing their exercises, you are going to be doing some physical conditioning. Your style is based on power and trickery, but you are too slow regardless. I want you to sprint around this field at full speed as many times as you can. When you feel like you can't do any more, push for another five laps before you stop. Then do 500 push-ups and sit-ups, 100 squats, and finish up with your basic cool down stretches as far as you can go and then some, then finally a 5 minute break. You have no idea how much being flexible can save your ass, and 5 minutes is plenty. The seal is changed to constantly give you chakra, so your already ridiculous stamina will recover a lot faster than it used to. Once you're done with those, I want you to repeat the process again and again until most if not all your clones disappear. By the time you graduate from the academy, you will at least be as fast as Lee with his weights on. Got it?"

Naruto nodded, eager to become stronger to protect his precious people. As he took off at full speed, Ghost sauntered off and disappeared in the middle of the field of orange, apparently observing and mocking the clones practicing the Frog-fu kata.

o. o. o.

With Hinata:

As all this was occurring, Hinata watched in awe from behind a tree which was thankfully not being used for any of the chakra control practices.

At first the poor girl didn't know how to react. When she first saw the hundreds of solid clones appear, her mind immediately guessed that she was having one of her more… explicit dreams. After pinching herself several times to assure herself that she was indeed conscious, Hinata activated her Byakugan, only to stare in shock. Each one of the clones was solid, with their own chakra system! She heard Naruto call out the technique's name, Shadow Clone Jutsu. She had never heard of such a technique! Naruto was amazing! She always knew he was.

But… there were still so many questions. As she watched, she saw that the clones were practicing exercises that academy students were not taught yet, or were unable to do due to the high chakra reserve requirements. Yet these clones are practicing as if they/he have been doing it for years. And the clones practicing the kata… They did not move like a person who was learning how to do it for the first time or as someone who has been practicing it for a while, but more like a person who hasn't done it for a time and has to re-learn the steps to make their body adjust appropriately.

The style itself, she noticed, was not the academy basic style either but something more complete, yet different from any other she has seen or heard about. She saw that the style focused on moving great distances in single jumps, followed by strong punches and kicks designed to take out the opponent in a few blows, but that couldn't be right. To make such a form work, the user would have to have an enormous amount of physical strength. Naruto was strong, but he wasn't that strong … is he?

Hinata then turned to the elemental training clones, cutting leaves between their fingers. Even if Naruto was holding back in the academy - which technically, he wasn't yet - , elemental training was more than surprising. Most ninja started utilizing their elements when they become chūnin. For an academy student to be manipulating an element was just ridiculous, and by the looks of the clones, they had already mastered their element and are simply fine-tuning their control. It takes years to fully master an element, and yet here is Naruto simply trying to make it more powerful! She watched as the clones struggled to cut their respective leaves, on average cutting about half way through.

Hinata spent a good part of an hour just watching the spectacle in front of her, trying to figure out what was going on… and drooling a little bit.

"Enjoying the show?" A voice whispered right into her ear.

Hinata shrieked and jumped away from the voice, seeing that it was the stranger that was training Naruto. Having faced away from the field, Hinata didn't notice that she pretty much attracted the attention of all the Naruto's in the field. Unfortunately, she was unable to stop the man from expertly spinning her around again, pinning her arm behind her back and marching her to the field.

"Oi kid! It seems we have ourselves a guest!" The man shouted as the real Naruto (or what Hinata assumed was the real Naruto) made his way through the crowd towards them.

"Hinata? What are you doing here?" Naruto said in shock. Hinata didn't respond as tears began to well up in her eyes, hidden by her bangs as she lowered her head.

_'Great. Now Naruto will hate me, too. I really am a failure…'_

"Seems the girl followed us to the fields." The stranger said, almost bored. "Sorry, I guess I was too preoccupied messing with you to keep an eye out for anyone."

_'Wow, that lie was almost as bad as the ones Kakashi comes up with.'_ was the thought going through both the blonde's and the man's heads.

"So what are we going to do with her? It's not like we can just let her go and assume that she won't tell anyone…" He continued in a quiet and intimidating tone, almost as if he were trying to tell Naruto or Hinata something…

Naruto thought he understood the message and started to reach for his right arm for some reason. "We can…"

"No!" The man shouted, startling both children. "How many times to I have to tell you? You are not to use them until I tell you to or else things will get out of hand! Too much information is almost as dangerous as too little in your situation."

The stranger glared at Hinata, still holding her tight in his grip as Naruto seemed to panic even more. "Better think of how we can solve this problem quick kid, or else I might have to take drastic measures…" As he said this, the man pushed Hinata's arm in a very awkward direction. The poor girl gasped in pain.

"Hinata!" Naruto and his clones shouted. All of them glared at the teacher. "Put her down now you fuck!" The original shouted. "I don't care if you are a million times stronger than me or whatever! If you hurt Hinata-chan, I will kill you!" He roared, as all the other clones got into a fighting position. Several started to shape their chakra into powerful looking spheres…

The man simply laughed, unconvinced.

Hinata was shocked. If she wasn't in (apparent) mortal danger, she would have passed out when Naruto let the suffix slip out of his mouth. Not only that, but she didn't even know that Naruto even cared about her or noticed her existence. Gaining what little courage she had left in her being, the girl spoke up.

"I-I-I won't tell a-a-anyone! I swear!" The poor girl stuttered out, on the verge of tears. "I-I was j-just w-w-w-worried about Naruto-kun. Iruka-sensei said that h-he wouldn't be coming to c-class for a long time and I w-wanted to see if I co…" Hinata mumbled the rest of her sentence.

"What was that?" The man asked, rather amused. Naruto glared at the man, obviously mad that he was treating Hinata in such a way. "I couldn't make out the rest of what you said. You wanted to see if you…?"

Hinata, now fully crying and wholly embarrassed to be put in such a position in front of her crush sobbed out. "I w-wanted to help N-Naruto-kun get better!"

The man had a shocked look on his face, which was obviously fake. Of course, Hinata was too distressed at the moment to see that. "Oh! Why didn't you say so in the first place? Hey Naruto! I thought you said that no one in your class likes you. This girl seems to care about you quite a bit." The man let go of Hinata's arm but held her shoulder in a firm grip to prevent her from running away, which she wanted to do very badly right now.

"Tell you what. How about as an apology, since you seem to not hate the blonde idiot over here," The man nudged his head towards Naruto's direction, who was currently trying to kill the man with his eyes. "And you obviously have better manners than him, how about you take part in his training?"

Hinata whipped her head towards the man in disbelief. He was wearing a gentle smile, as if she (or he) didn't do anything wrong at all. His incredibly fast change in personality still kept her on edge though.

"How about it? The brat here may be as strong as they come when I finish with him, but he will still be as smart and sophisticated as a rabid donkey."

" **OI."** The incredibly enraged boy growled.

"Quiet, you. As I was saying, the kid needs to learn public decency, or at least needs to know how to watch his tongue when it matters. Seeing as you are from the Hyūga clan, I can assume you know all the rules of the trade. Hell, if you can even get half the rules into his head I'll be impressed." Hinata brightened up slightly. She was still scared of the man, but he was rather amusing.

Pausing for a second, the man continued, "If possible, could you also teach him some chakra controlling exercises that he may not know? This kid's control is a whole mess of something awful. It's gotten better, but he still has a long way to go before he's even considered inaccurate. As for yo-, hold on a second." The man turned to the crowd of clones that were listening intently to the conversation. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU STARING AT YOU IDIOTS?! GET BACK TO TRAINING NOW!" He bellowed with conviction and a little bit of comical hysteria. The watching crowd scrambled back to its previous formation and the sounds of grunting Naruto's filled the air. Some accidentally blew up when the Rasengan in their hands exploded from the lack of focus.

"Sorry about that. Clones are just so much easier to distract than their original, and considering who said original is in this case…" Said the man, turning back to Hinata, who was distracted by the explosions and wondering what the technique Naruto was using was. "As I was saying, you would not be left with the short end of the stick in this deal. While you would be training Naruto, Naruto and I would be training you in turn as well. It is rather obvious that you have a bit of a problem with your confidence. Plus, you are a girl, so your reserves aren't as big as you would like them to be." Hinata shrunk in her coat at this part. "How about in turn for your services, we can iron out some of your… more apparent weaknesses and throw in some very unique and useful chakra exercises while we're at it." The man turned to Naruto. "I believe you know which ones I'm talking about Naruto. The three _special_ exercises that you learned several years ago…"

Naruto temporarily stopped attempting to cast Amaterasu on the man to think about what he said. It took a few seconds to comprehend what the guy was hinting at. His eyes widened. "You mean…"

"Yes, those Naruto. I believe that those exercises can be incorporated in Ms. Hyūga's Jūken quite well, don't you think?"

Hinata looked downward. She knew what Naruto would say. He would say that she couldn't learn the techniques, that she was too weak to do anything and that she was useless. That…

Naruto glared at the man, still deep in thought. "…yeah. They would." Hinata's head shot up looking at Naruto. He responded with one of his real smiles. "She would have to keep quiet about who she learned them from for obvious reasons, but the first two are hard to recognize so I think she can use them without raising any questions. I know she can pull off all three exercises as well. Hinata is stronger than she looks."

Hinata was speechless. Naruto was accepting her help, HER help! He had placed his trust in her and wanted her to train him. Not only that, but he said that he would train her as well! She could teach Naruto some of the chakra exercises that she was taught when she was little. Such exercises were needed to grasp an idea of how Jūken works early on, but her father and the elders never actually said that they were clan secrets. Besides, this would allow her to be of use to Naruto. Gathering her new found, joy induced courage together and wiping away her tears, Hinata nodded with conviction. "I-I will d-do it."

Then she passed out.

o. o. o.

As soon as the girl hit the ground, Ghost did so too, laughing his ass off. "Whahahahahaha!" Did you see the look on her face!? Priceless!" He would have continued if Naruto hadn't picked that time to kick him in the sack as hard as he could. Then Ghost was had trouble breathing for another reason.

"WHAT THE FUCK YOU SICK BASTARD! WHY THE HELL DID YOU SCARE US LIKE THAT! I HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO KILL HINATA-CHAN FOR A MINUTE!" Naruto raged, glaring at the now fetal positioned man.

"I. Regret. Nothing." Ghost mumbled, cradling his precious cargo.

" **ANSWER ME NOW!** " Naruto roared, unconsciously leaking out some of the Kyūbi's chakra.

Ghost sighed, and slowly got up, wincing every few seconds. "Did you honestly think that everything was going to be so cut and dry?" The man asked with much of the mirth and humor gone from his voice. "Did you honestly think that since everything "now" went okay the first time around, the second time would go just as planned, without any obstacles? Get real, dumbass. This is still the real world, and unexpected shit still happens all the time, time travel or not. What just happened was a test, and you FAILED. _Miserably_." Ghost pointed out in an irritated tone. Naruto stumbled back in shock.

"I could have easily done something to turn Hinata away, or at least told you that she was following us, but I wanted to see how you would deal with something like this. Something unexpected, in an event that you thought you'd gone through already. I wanted to see if you could manage to play these unexpected events to your advantage in a way that doesn't involve fighting. You are supposed to be a NINJA, or are at least going to be one again. You are supposed to be cunning and tricky, steering the situation in the direction you want without drawing suspicion at will. What I saw was a pathetic, stupid little child who could barely see in front of him, let alone underneath the underneath." Naruto flinched at the words that were taught to him by Kakashi.

"You are lucky that I managed to steer things the way I did, and that Hinata is so trustworthy. I'm scared for everyone if you react the way you did just now to every other unexpected event that happens from now on." Ghost said, mournfully rubbing the spot between his legs. "I will only say this once. You have to be subtle. You have to be cunning, quick on your feet and creative. You have to be able to lead people where you want them too. You have the very rare advantage of knowing EXACTLY where you want people to end up, and how most of them will react when they get there. Take advantage of it and don't get caught off guard. If you do, snap out of it and try to get things back on track as quietly and smoothly as possible. If you can't, try and see if you can use the situation to your benefit. Forcing things on people now will only cause more problems later. If Iruka gets suspicious of how you are acting or finds out of my existence, tell him that the old man got me to train you to become the greatest Hokage ever, then drag him to Ichiraku's to bankrupt the poor man. Sasuke starts to piss you off? Well… do what you always do. Insult him at the top of your lungs and look like an idiot to make him think that he was just seeing things. And by look like an idiot, I mean act the same way you always do." Naruto growled at the idiot comment.

Ghost sighed. "When the teams are formed you can act out a little bit more, but you still have to be more careful on how you deal with different situations. I assure you, there will be times where you can cut loose in front of everyone, but right now is not it. You are still hated by everyone. One fuck up and there's a good chance the council will force your banishment or execution out of fear of the fur ball."

Naruto nodded in shame with his head low. How could he have been so stupid? He had dealt with enemies trying to kill him, conspiracies in his own village, and had even come back from the verge of death almost half a dozen times! He should know better by now!

"You're right, Ghost-sensei." Naruto muttered. Ghost raised his eyebrows at the suffix. "I should have known by now. I assumed that even though everyone hates me again, all I would have to do is just act the same way as I used to when no one was looking and everything would be the same as last time. I never put any thought into what to do if something went wrong or if someone got suspicious." He looked up with determination and commitment in his eyes again. "That changes now." He spoke with resolve in his voice.

Ghost smirked. "You talk the talk little man, but I won't believe a word you say until you can actually back it up."

The visitor walked over to where Hinata laid passed out. "You have yourself a training partner, kid. Make sure none of this becomes public knowledge, be sure that you two get to 'know each other' at a slow pace, and hide it from everyone. Akatsuki is back in full force again, and I don't think they're above kidnapping little girls to get what they want, princess or not. Remember that while I, and eventually my family, will be here to give you advice and training, we are not going to be doing any of your major fighting unless someone else from another world jumps into the game. The most I will do is take out some yes-men, bail you out of a bad situation, or if you really need it, distract the enemy while you set off to achieve another purpose, but even that will only happen if I feel that nothing else will help you get to your goal."

As Ghost picked up and held Hinata like a flour sack, he looked around the field. "Before you continue with your conditioning, make another twenty clones and have them meditate till I get back. You have a good fire in your eyes kid, but make sure that the heat doesn't fry your brain. I've seen a lot of decent people make that mistake before and wind up getting themselves killed in incredibly stupid ways. I'm going to take the girl home now." The man turned around and was about to walk away when he suddenly stopped and turned to Naruto with a very disturbing grin on his face.

"What?" Naruto stammered, scared of what was going through the man's head.

"Just to let you know… the fates have a very, very sick sense of humor. I heard that sensei comment, and I am going to play that role to its fullest." Naruto stared at the man, scared and confused by what he was trying to hint at. Ghost merely shifted Hinata's petit frame on his shoulders and grinned evilly. "You are a lucky bastard kid." Ghost said mockingly. "Girl's already on the verge of getting a C-cup and she's not even a teen yet."

With that he vanished into the woods, laughing his head off while running at an insane pace.

"Stupid pervert" Naruto muttered, and then froze. The word "pervert" was echoing in his mind over and over again.

He stood there in shock, mouth open and color draining from his face at a dangerous rate.

Throughout Konoha that day, a shout could be heard loud and clear, originating from a certain blonde loudmouth. There were many people who sweat dropped that day. And there was much rejoicing. And cake.

"NOOOOO! NOT ANOTHER PEERRVVVEERRTTTTT! **WWHHHYYYYYYYYY?!** "

o. o. o.

A/N

1 week and a little over 1000 hits… that's good, right?

Okay. Chapter 5 is done. I still need people to sign up for the poll.

Is Haku a boy or a girl?

Does Sarutobi die (again) in the invasion?

Several members of Ghost's family will be making quick appearances within the next few chapters. Some are reasonably sane, others are bat shit loco.

Please note that the next few chapters will be focusing around Ghost and his business around the village, but this is still Naruto's story, and he will be badass, in a realistic way, without and maybe with the Kyūbi. He will have one, or at most two elements in his arsenal, and that is if I feel generous. I assure you I will not give him all five elements or something along those lines.

Hinata will be powerful as well, and I apologize for not making her appear that often yet, but I want everything to be set up in a decent manner, so that means that romance is not at the top of the list. It's up there, but not a major priority at this point. Remember, everyone is still 12 years old right now.

Also, I've been reading a lot of fics lately where Naruto becomes über unfair powerful… standard stuff, even so… why do people constantly make him almost six feet tall when he just about graduates from the academy? I'm almost 6 feet tall, 20 years old, am done with puberty, and am considered tall. Please people, I'm begging you, please stop putting the poor kid on steroids. It's unnatural, unrealistic, disturbing, and it takes away from the legitimacy of the story.

Once again, I am putting OC info on my profile, so if you think that they are too strong… well their weaknesses make up for it (laughs evilly).

Please review.


	6. Planning Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 6: Planning Change

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Blah blah: normal text

"blah blah": someone normal…ish talking

" **blah blah"** : demon or someone really pissed/overpowered talking

o. o. o.

Hinata woke up lying on the ground. She had just had the strangest dream ever. First, hundreds of Naruto's appeared training in a field doing exercises that were clearly above their class's level. Then a stranger comes out of nowhere and threatens to do something to her, only to have Naruto come and try to protect her. Then the stranger suggests they TRAIN each other, completely acting as if he didn't just threaten her life!

Hinata sighed, "Just a dream."

"If that was just a dream, then you must have some messed up fantasies, girl." A voice sounded right next to her.

Hinata eeped, and jumped away from the voice, realizing that it came from the same stranger in her dream leaning against a nearby tree.

"Yeah, due to the chaos that happened before, I never really introduced myself." The man continued. He walked over to the shaking girl and held out his hand. "My name is Ghost. No family name… for now. Pleased to meet you." He said in a happy and care free tone.

"H-Hinata H-H-Hyūga." The poor girl stuttered out, taking the man's hand.

Ghost helped the poor girl up. "You're Hiashi's kid, right?" he asked.

Hinata merely nodded her head, eyes unusually focused to the ground.

"Good!" Ghost exclaimed cheerfully. "I happened to have some business with your dad that I needed to get to soon anyway. Unfortunately, I'm still new in town and get lost unusually easily. Can you take me to your clan compound? I don't want to wind up near that crazy snake chick's place by accident again." He shudders. "If any other woman had that kind of tongue, I would consider it hot. On that chick, it's just plain scary."

Hinata stared at the man in confusion. His manners were atrocious and his choice of clothing was not much better. What could this man possibly want with her father?

As they made their way through Konoha, Hinata kept on stealing glances at the man.

"Do I have something on my face?" He asked after a good amount of time.

Hinata's eyes shot back down again. "U-Um. Were you t-t-telling the truth? W-would you r-r-really t-t-train me with N-N-N-N-".

Ghost laughed. "Yes, I was telling the truth. To be perfectly honest, I think you two would complement each other really well." Hinata's face turned a new shade of red at this. "The kid is loud, obnoxious, and utterly stupid." Hinata frowned. "He does have the right drive though, and doesn't let much get in his way. You, on the other hand, are timid, shy, and easily influenced by what others say which, being in your family, is not exactly healthy." Hinata's head dropped in depression. "However," Ghost continued, "You are more controlled and refined then the idiot as well. You take your time with everything and think before you act or speak. Something the kid only really does when fighting really, and then only sporadically. If you two train together, you could iron out each other's problems fairly well. Plus…" Ghost spoke with a rather disturbing grin on his face. "You seem to have the hots for him."

Hinata's reaction was instant. The second Ghost finished his accusation; the poor girl's face skipped red and went to purple as she backed against a nearby building breathing heavily. Her only salvation was that no one was walking down that particular street at the time.

Laughing loudly, Ghost continued. "It's haha, not that hard to tell Hinata. Naruto's probably the only one who doesn't know by now." _'If he didn't remember anything, that is.'_ "It's pretty much common knowledge among your classmates, or at least that's what that Nara kid told me."

Hinata's face toned down to a mere dark red and the two continued on their way to her clan's estate. Was it that obvious? Wait… since when was Shikamaru a gossip?

"Just to let you know though." Ghost spoke up as they rounded a corner leading them into the area of town where the clans live. "It would be best to keep your romantic interest in Naruto hidden from everyone for a while." Hinata paled as she turned to the man. "I can't say everything quite yet, but I bet you know that something is… different about Naruto, right?"

Hinata nodded slowly, wondering where Ghost was getting at. She knew that Naruto was treated differently for some reason, but she didn't know why.

"Well, let's just say that Naruto's currently in the middle of something… big, and it has to do with him being different. Nothing's happening now, but stuff will eventually, I can guarantee it." Ghost was serious now, and Hinata was scared.

"I need someone strong who he can trust to help him out when the time is right, yet stay under the radar so no one will suspect anything. You fit the bill perfectly. Despite what you think and what your family has told you, I can tell you have a great deal of potential. The only problem is tapping into that potential. Due to your family's less than positive motivational methods, you have unintentionally built up a mental barrier fueled by fear of failing, of believing that no one will acknowledge your strength even if you do succeed and will only put you down more if you fail."

Hinata was hunched over hugging herself tightly, knowing that what Ghost had said was absolutely correct. Ghost turned to her and gave her a soft smile.

"Despite what you think, Naruto believes in you more than either of you knows. Probably because you are one of the few people that don't treat him like dirt and see the real him."

He could tell that the girl right now was suffering from a multitude of emotions. But the ones that were most apparent, the ones that he was feeding were her conviction and her resolve.

"You can get closer to Naruto during training, but we can't have you two develop an open full-blown relationship. Not yet anyways. If you are careful enough, I can allow you two to become an item as long as no one outside our circle knows." Hinata's head shot up and for the first time in a while, Ghost had trouble organizing all the emotions he was seeing on the girl's face.

"This… thing that Naruto's in will put everyone in a ridiculous amount of danger, ninja or not. You in particular if word gets out that you two are a pair. The…group that Naruto is against will try to use you to get to him if they find out, and they are very, very strong and good at kidnapping people."

Ghost struck a chord with the kidnapping bit. The word itself shakes the poor girl to the core ever since the Kumo incident. Hinata's mind was running at light speed at this point, and was unconsciously starting to cry.

_'They would try to get to me to get to Naruto!? Why does he always seem to suffer?! What does he have to do with this group; he isn't even a ninja yet. How…?!'_

"Which is why we are going to train you." Ghost interrupted. Hinata's face snapped to face the man. Ghost swore he heard something shift out of place.

"You still have plenty of time to train before the shit hits the fan. Until then, you will get stronger for Naruto. Don't reveal this to ANYONE unless I or someone else in the loop tells you otherwise. The small bit of information I leaked to you is already enough to cause big problems. That Shikamaru kid is also part of this, but he won't be training with us. He has to lay low for a while to divert attention. If you are confused on what to do though, go to him. Tell him that you have seen a link but you have not received one, nor do you know what it does. He'll understand. Then explain to him what's happened and ask him for advice." Hinata's eyes widened. She had heard that Shikamaru had left the academy with Naruto the day before he disappeared, but did not really look too far into it. He had claimed that Naruto went home soon after they left due to an upset stomach and left it at that.

"The Hokage is also a part of this operation as well, but in general, I'm in charge due to the fact that I know things that no one else knows, and can plan accordingly. If things get really, and I mean REALLY out of hand and weird, go to him and tell him the same thing. He should be able to help you out." Ghost added.

_'He even out ranks Hokage-sama? What is going on?… Naruto-kun…'_

"In regards to everyday life, act the same as you always do. I can tell already that you will become a fine kunoichi." Hinata blushed and pressed her fingers together. It was nice to get complimented and be reassured that she would go far. "Remember that one of the fundamentals of a ninja is misdirection. Let them think that you are weak. Let them think that you are useless. Their opinion doesn't really matter when kunai are flying everywhere. Hide your true potential, because I see a lot in you and Naruto, and I assure you that he will be hiding his."

They were almost at the compound.

"I will be aiding in the training for the next three months. We will be training at the same field everyday thanks to the old man. Come every two or three days after school to avoid any suspicion from your clan. Say it's for a special project at school or a friend's house or some other bullshit. One of the nice things about having people think you are useless is that they rarely pay attention to what you're doing." Hinata nodded, agreeing with his statement. The elders never paid attention to her activities unless it somehow affected the public's view of the clan.

"I assure you that by the end of the three months, you will be at least at the top of your class. Of course you won't actually be there to keep your false image up. After that, I will leave for a small trip and won't return 'til the exams. During that time, I expect you two to keep on training and finding new ways to improve what you know."

They had just stopped in front of the main entrance.

"Now, Hinata. Could you be so kind as to ask your father if I could have an audience with him? Tell him that I have a proposition that I believe that he will be most interested in. I believe that it could bring the Hyūga clan into a higher standing with the village."

Hinata nodded shyly and walked past the guards, who stared at Ghost with disdain.

_'Obviously they don't believe that someone looking like me could offer them anything worthwhile.'_

"Soooooo…" Ghost drawled to the guards, who were just impassively staring at the man. "I've heard this rumor around town. Don't kill me, I'm just curious because I've heard it from like, twenty people." The two guards looked at each other. "Are the women in your clan really as freaky in bed as everyone claims?"

o. o. o.

Hinata walked through the Hyūga compound towards her father's office, more confused than she had been in her life. She had only met Ghost, yet he had already claimed that she was strong and that she was needed to help Naruto get stronger. Why? Why her? What does she have that others don't?

She remembered what Ghost said.

" _I need someone who he can trust to help him out when the time is right. Despite what you think, Naruto believes in you more than you or he knows. Probably because you are one of the few people that don't treat him like dirt and see the real him."_

" _To be perfectly honest, I think you two would complement each other really well."_

_'Naruto-kun… Believes in me?'_

Hinata snapped out of her delirium to find herself already at her father's office. In a way she was glad she was zoning out. The glares in her family were unnerving, no matter how long you lived with them.

Taking a deep breath, Hinata knocked on the door, promising to become stronger for her idol.

"Yes?" The deep voice of Hiashi Hyūga answered through the door.

"A-Ah. I-It's me f-f-father." Hinata stuttered out.

_'Why do I have to have this stutter!?'_ (A/N Because Kishi made you and I'm writing the story that way!)

"Yes Hinata? What is it?" Hiashi opened his door and stared at his daughter impassively. "I do not have time to simply chat, and I believe that you are aware of this as well."

Hinata was quickly losing her self-esteem as she stared at the ground and pressed her fingers together.

"I-I wanted to tell you t-that t-there is a-a man o-outside who has a p-proposition for you. H-He said that y-you would be i-interested in it. He s-s-said that it would help o-our clan rise in s-standing with the village and m-make us more honorable." She stuttered.

Hiashi looked at Hinata, showing no emotion on his face. The man did care about his daughter's wellbeing, but he did have an image to maintain if he wanted to stay as clan head. He did, unfortunately, take out his rage on Hinata for the first few years after his wife's death due to how much Hinata reminded him of Natsumi. (A/N: I don't know Hinata's mom's name, just making it up)

Unfortunately, by the time he'd realized his mistake, the damage was already done. Hinata's stuttering and lack of confidence had taken root, and the clan elders had already decided that his daughter was weak. They expected him to behave as such in order to maintain his position as clan head, and to focus most of his attention on the young Hanabi.

"What do you think of this man, Hinata?" Hiashi asked, trying to get more out of his daughter, and discretely lengthening the conversation.

"H-he's different f-father." Hinata replied, deep in thought, which luckily makes her stutter less "He dresses a-and acts differently. F-From his looks, you can t-tell he's a foreigner. H-He's loud, unpredictable, yet careful with his w-words when he needs to. I-I can't seem to read what he's thinking either. Also…" Hinata dragged off. (A/N: I HATE TYPING THIS! STUPID STUTTER! GAH!).

"Also?" Hiashi asked, curious about the visitor.

"I-I can't explain it well, father." Hinata looked at him confused. "W-When I used my Byakugan earlier, I saw a strange p-power coming out of him and syncing with the air. It m-makes his chakra s-system almost i-impossible to see, b-but I thought I'm p-pretty sure I saw a s-second system in his b-body…"

Hiashi's eyes widened. He and other clan members had noticed that the air in Konoha was slowly being laced with a thin layer of what seemed like chakra for about a week now. They had concluded that there was nothing harmful about the mysterious energy and that it was too weak to do anything but simply be there, but they were still all confused about where it came from and what it was doing there in the first place. They had brought this issue up with the Hokage a few days earlier, but the next day the old man sent them a message telling them that it was not a threat to the village and to not tell anyone about it.

Not only that, but a second chakra system? That is impossible. The human body was not designed to handle more than one kind of energy based system. The reason why jinchūriki can even survive containing their demons is because the demons themselves are made of the same kind of energy as humans, albeit the demon's chakra is poisonous to humans, but the same kind of energy none the less.

_'It seems there is more to this stranger than I thought._ '

"Is there anything else about this man that I should be aware of before I meet him Hinata?" He asked, interested in getting as much information out of his daughter as he could.

Hinata thought, becoming slightly more confident now. "W-Well. I couldn't see his eyes." She said.

"His eyes?" Hiashi repeated in a confused tone.

"Yes, his eyes. H-He wears a pair of sunglasses that prevent anyone from seeing his eyes. When I tried to use my Byakugan, I was surprised to s-see that the glasses were also laced with that weird energy and prevented me f-from seeing them. H-His glasses were a-also different. I-I couldn't s-say how, b-but they looked like they were made w-with something in them." Hinata spoke with a slightly more steady voice and attempting to look at her father in the eye.

Hiashi mused to himself. Whoever this man was, he wasn't normal. He had a strange power, that much was a given. Seeing how the Hokage simply brushed off the appearance of such a strange energy, he could only assume that the two knew each other and that the man meant no harm to the village. The lack of seeing part of the man's face was also slightly unnerving. Hiashi had plenty of experience reading facial expressions, but it was always easiest for him to determine what others were thinking of by reading the muscles and movements of their eyes. This was partially due to the fact that he had to deal with Hatake Kakashi on a somewhat frequent basis and could only use his eye as an indicator of what he was thinking.

Could it be that he has some sort of blood line that no one has heard of yet? If so, why hasn't he simply gone to the council and announced his presence? Does it have to do with this proposition that his daughter claimed he had, and if so, how could it improve the clan's status in the village?

Deciding that he would get more answers meeting the man than just pondering in his office, Hiashi stood up and made his way to the main entrance with Hinata following behind him.

As he approached the large gates, Hiashi could hear several people laughing.

"… So then she charges back outside, in nothing but her underwear, covered in peanut butter, getting chased by the largest fucking squirrels you will ever see, screaming her head off! They didn't stop for at least six hours! I thought I was going to die, either from laughter or from the Midget getting her hands on me, but apparently she couldn't cause she got arrested and sent to jail for three weeks for public indecency and animal cruelty when she tried to fight off the buggers!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh man! That's brilliant! I haven't laughed this much since I was a kid! This guy's hilarious, right Hiro?!"

"AIR! AIR! I need to breathe! HAHA! Can't stop!"

Hiashi's demeanor was calm and impassive as ever, except for a very noticeable twitch that didn't seem to be going anytime soon. While not the most illustrious position in the compound, the main gate guards were supposedly some of the most impassive and stoic members of the Hyūga clan, Main or Branch. They were often the first real impressions of the Hyūga clan that most people came across, and were often considered a representation of the clan's strength as a whole.

As Hiashi opened the front door and got his first look at the man, he could tell that he would have his hands full. The two 'stoic' guards to either side of him were having trouble standing up, let alone in position or with a straight face. They were completely unaware that their boss was less than five feet from either of them and considering giving them garbage duty for the next two months.

The storyteller himself was having a less difficult time keeping himself upright, but was laughing with the other two none the less.

The man was young, late teens to early twenties. His clothes were… different, as his daughter had claimed. While they seemed to be somewhat like everyday attire, there was something about the fabric that didn't seem normal to the clan head. His eyes were covered by a pair of sunglasses as well and did not let anyone get a chance to see behind them. His baggy pants were loose and were held up by a brown belt.

But what Hiashi was most interested in was the visitor's muscles.

While the Hyūga clan was known for reading emotions through a person's body language, what few knew was that they also studied human anatomy. The highest ranked Hyūga are in fact quite experienced in the medical field. What better way to understand what and how to hit something than to study how it works and to heal it? Of course, this is not well known information and most, if not all the Hyūga taking medical training are placed under a genjutsu to hide their identity while taking the lessons outside the compound, much less become a medic nin as a profession. Hiashi, as an elite jōnin, was very familiar with how the whole body works and acts. What had his attention were the muscles that were often exposed and moved the body, namely the stranger's arm and neck muscles.

They were under constant strain.

Not as if the man was in pain. Hiashi knew that if that were the case, the muscles would have an occasional twitch or spasm, even a small one. There were no such examples.

Every time the man moved his hands or head, his muscles moved and strained in a manner as if he was at a high speed pace, like a fight, yet the speed he moved them at was casual and slow. It was if his body was naturally moving slow and he was forcing it to move at high speeds to make it look normal, but that was simply impossible.

"Hey, I know I'm pretty and have a great body, but my face is up here." The man said, aware of Hiashi's presence.

The reaction was instantaneous. As soon as the man finished talking, the guards snapped their heads around so fast that everyone watching cringed in pain. Seeing that Hiashi was standing right behind them, the two guards turned whiter than their eyes before getting on all fours and begging for mercy while apologizing at the same time.

While they were doing so, Hiashi's twitch became even more rampant. He had not been so embarrassed since his wife had nearly dragged him out of a village council meeting by his ears when she was pregnant with Hanabi, screaming that they haven't been spending enough time together and wanted to cuddle. That was a very sobering experience.

It was that incident that prevents the Nara males from ever entering the Hyūga estates and prevents a more solid relationship from being established between the two clans.

It did earn him some pity points from the Haruno males though.

Taking a deep breath to lower his blood pressure, Hiashi glared at the man. "I hope that is not how you deal with all the people you expect to make a deal with, or that you will be acting as such within my home. If so, then I believe that business between us will be rather … sparse."

The man paled, "Crap. I mean, I apologize for my rudeness, Hyūga-sama." He bowed. "I was merely caught up in the moment, and did not think before I spoke. If you wish to postpone our meeting till a more appropriate time, I will gladly adjust my schedule as such to accommodate yours."

Hiashi stared at the man. Despite his obvious lack of initial tact, the man knew how to apologize and when to stop acting out. "What is your name, boy?"

The stranger stood erect again. "For personal reasons, I will simply call myself Ghost, Hiashi-sama." He replied.

Pausing for a moment, Hiashi analyzed the man in front of him. Even if he wasn't using his Byakugan, why wasn't he able to get any reading off of this youth?

"I have not seen you around town before. Where are you from?" Hiashi questioned.

Ghost smirked. Hiashi could tell this man was expecting this question.

"My family has no real origin, so I guess you could call us nomads. We wander around wherever we want and deal in various trades. The reason for my being here away from my family is to repay a favor I owe the Sannin Jiraiya. He got me out of a rather… unique situation and I promised him a favor in return." Ghost said this last part with a slight blush on his face. Hiashi got the hint and didn't ask any more. Whatever it was, Hiashi knew it was not appropriate for his daughter's ears.

"Very well. I will not ask what this… favor is. Now, I believe that you wished to conduct some business with my clan?"

Ghost perked up again. "Ah yes, my proposition! How silly of me. Ah…" Ghost looked around, "Do you happen to have a private and sealed room? The contents of the trade are rather … sensitive, and I do not wish anyone else to know about what its entails until an appropriate time."

Hiashi maintained his demeanor, but was growing more curious by the second at what this person could provide his clan. "… I have such a room for such occasions. This way."

As Hiashi led Ghost into the compound, who was in turn followed by Hinata, he activated his Byakugan and barely managed to hold back his surprise.

The man was literally leaking… whatever it was into the air in ridiculous amounts at an incredible rate. The energy itself also never went in a person's direction; it merely spread out and hung in the air like a faint and barely noticeable cloud, carried by the ever present wind currents. Hinata was right; while it was almost impossible to see into the man's body due to the constant cloud of energy blocking his vision, he could make out… another chakra system?… that couldn't be right, could it?

Hiashi also tried to look at his eyes, but his daughter was correct about this as well. The odd sunglasses prevented anything from getting through.

Hiashi observed the man as he walked through the clan's estate. The fact that he was dressed in a less than appropriate manner provoked several members who saw him to glare at him with indifference. Typical Hyūga behavior. What was interesting was that the guest did not seem to mind and was simply walking without a real care in the world, looking at his surroundings with mild interest.

As they passed the training grounds, the group saw Hanabi practicing her Jūken on a practice dummy. She seemed to be having trouble executing one maneuver, where she strikes the dummy several times on the its front, then dodges to the side and attacks it from the side and back, aiming for the hip and lower back areas. She'd tried to perform it several times, stopping at the same point each time. Right after she dodges to either side, she over extends herself.

Hiashi was about to give his younger daughter some advice when Ghost spoke up.

"When you make that fourth strike, don't push your upper body so far to the side, and extend your back leg a little more to your inside when you are about to make that dodge move."

Everyone who heard him turned to his direction in shock.

"You know Jūken?" Hiashi asked with a small growl in his voice. Hinata was staring at Ghost in awe and some fear, and Hanabi was angry that she was being given advice on her family's taijutsu from an outsider.

"Jūken? No. All I'm saying is that she is over extending herself after the fourth strike and her footing is a bit off." Ghost replied casually, shrugging his shoulders. Seeing that he needed to explain himself more if he wanted to live, he continued.

"I happen to know a bit about fighting myself and my style is also based on speed, flexibility and balance. To be perfectly honest, my brother Scabbard would have caught it watching the first time, but that guy is a monster when it comes to analyzing anything so it's really not fair to compare anyone to him. Also, the circular, yet direct movements are similar to my Grandfather Waltz's style, so I think he would have found everything faster than I would have too." Hiashi's gaze was stern, but mentally he was making notes about what Ghost was saying. Hiashi himself only caught the over extending after the fourth strike. Was the guest also right about the back foot as well?

Ghost continued. "After watching her to the same move over and over again, anyone with a decent amount of training and experience could tell what she was trying to do. I'm just trying to help out a bit, that's all. The move seems pretty basic in concept, so it was easy to understand what she was attempting. I would have spoken up earlier, but I wanted to make sure I saw everything she was doing wrong. Still, she's pretty good for an 8 year old."

Hanabi stared at the man, and then turned her head to her father. Hiashi understood what she was asking and nodded.

Hanabi nodded in response and turned to the dummy and attempted the Jūken maneuver again, following Ghost's advice. She executed it perfectly.

Everyone turned their attention to Ghost again, who was simply staring at the garden next to the training area without a care in the world. Several turned on their Byakugan, only to gasp and step back, prompting everyone else (including Hanabi) to turn theirs on in curiosity, only to mimic their predecessors.

Hiashi mentally groaned. Things had just gotten more troublesome. Now EVERYONE in the clan knew that the man here was the one responsible for the odd energy around the village, and were now curious as to why he was in the clan estates. Not only that, but apparently he could accurately analyze the family's fighting style after watching it only a few times.

Ghost turned around and noticed that everyone was staring at him.

"…what, so just because I'm a guy that automatically means I can't enjoy the scenery of a beautiful garden?" Everyone sweat dropped. "Sexist bastards. You'd think that since the guys and girls in this clan look so much alike they would ignore a few small odd hobbies, but nooooo…" Ghost muttered under his breath.

Hiashi was reeeealllllllly starting to have second thoughts about bringing the youth into his home. Deciding to end this little spectacle as soon as possible, Hiashi turned on his Byakugan and raised his killing intent so that everyone in the area focused on him.

"What do you think you are doing?" He growled, talking to his fellow clan's men. "Is our guest so interesting that you must abandon your tasks just to stare at him?"

While the logical answer to this question in this case is a big YES, clan appearance and etiquette says to ignore outsiders. As such, all the clan members scurried back to their daily tasks, taking a few more glances at the stranger as they passed by. Hanabi in particular was glaring at him every time she switched stances. Hiashi and company continued their way to the meeting room.

He was just about to turn off his blood line when Ghost walked close behind him and raised his arms to point to a seemingly random spot in the air for just a moment, then dropped them again, as if he was playing around like a child or stretching awkwardly.

Awkward to anyone but Hiashi. To him it was terrifying. To his extended eyesight, Hiashi saw Ghost pointing to the one area that his eyes couldn't see, the blind spot that NO ONE outside of the Hyūga clan was supposed to know of.

Before he could turn around, Ghost spoke up. "Hiashi-sama, why did you stop? Are we at the private room yet?"

Hiashi then mustered all his remaining impassiveness to keep himself steady and unreadable. "I, I must apologize. I was preoccupied with the day's paperwork and am slightly weary. It is just down this hallway. Please, this way."

As they approached the room and entered the doorway – without Hinata, who was a look out in case anyone wished to speak with her father - , Hiashi's mind ran at a breakneck pace. This… boy had the gall to, in the middle of his own home, reveal to him that he knew one of the clan's most heavily kept secrets! While the most prominent action would be to kill the boy right there and then, he knew that it would be unethical to do so in plain daylight. The fact that the boy seemed to be connected to not only the Hokage, but the Sannin Jiraiya only further complicated matters.

As the door closed behind the two, Hiashi made the hand seals to prevent anyone from spying on them. As soon as he finished, his calm demeanor vanished instantly. "Do you mind telling me how you…" Hiashi began to rant.

"Hold it!" Ghost interrupted rather quickly, raising his hands. "Before you start to dissect me with your eyes, just let me make sure that this room is really private." He reached into his pockets and brought out a pair of ear plugs and tossed them to the clan head, "Put these on. You have no idea if the room is bugged or not."

Hiashi nearly blew up, "How dare YOU assume that my home is not…"

Ghost raised his hand and leaked a bit of his own brand of 'killing intent' out, silencing the enraged clan leader in a second. "When I did this to the old man's office, I found out that there were two separate bugging seals in the room." He spoke with a calm and collected voice.

That shut Hiashi up there and then. He had his eyes activated and could tell that he was telling the truth, as if he allowed his body to convey his thoughts for that moment.

_'He found bugs in the Hokage's office?!'_

Cooling down and ridding himself of that unnerving feeling of emptiness, the clan leader plugged his ears. Ghost then rubbed his throat and shrieked, following the act by pointing to his ears.

"…king mute if I keep this shit up." Ghost muttered with a hoarse voice as Hiashi took out his ear plugs and handed them back to him. The two sat down in the traditional style Japanese room. Hiashi then noticed an odd smell in the room, pungent and foul.

"Eh hem," Ghost cleared his throat "Three seals. Seems like someone hasn't been looking hard enough lately. Eh?" he said mockingly.

Hiashi was stuck between shock and rage. His most private conversations were in this room, and three, THREE different groups had been listening in on him unnoticed!

Ghost was thinking of something else entirely.

_'Did I clean those ear plugs after I gave them to the old man? … better not tell Hiashi…'_

"I would look for anyone who has ear problems after we finish our business." Ghost spoke, almost bored. "Seems like two of them were short ranged, so the spies are most likely from the inside."

Hiashi growled, immediately listing the clan elders who had the gall and the lack of respect to do something like this. The list was far longer than he would like.

After more than a few deep breaths, Hiashi calmed himself. It would be unsightly for the leader of the Hyūga clan to lose his temper after being done such a service. He would ask this… person his own questions after finding out what he wanted.

"It seems that I am in your debt … Ghost."

"Nah, consider that one free of charge Hiashi." Ghost replied. Hiashi twitched at the sudden lack of respect the youth seemed to be employing again. "I would be in trouble too if this deal got out. Everything I'm doing these days has to be kept under the radar until the time is right. There's a lot of stuff going down that I gotta prepare and set up for."

Hiashi allowed some curiosity to show. "Such as?"

Ghost chuckled. "Sorry, confidential information. All I will say is that you might want to give everyone in the clan a bit more hands on training in the next year though." Hiashi's eyes widened, knowing that what the man just said could mean a lot of things.

Most of them bad.

"But that's not why I'm here. There are a couple of things I want to ask you before I make my final proposal. You don't have to answer if you want to, but I believe that you will be interested in my services."

"Sigh. Very well. Ask your questions quickly. I do have other matters to attend to. Apparently more than I thought." Hiashi replied in resignation.

"OKAY!" Ghost shouted with youthful abandon. (Somewhere in the village, a man in green spandex sensed a disturbance in the youth. He then ran 100 laps around the village alongside his clone… I mean student). Hiashi stared. This was going to be a looooong meeting.

"Question one. What are your feelings about the Caged Bird Seal on the branch house?" Ghost asked.

Hiashi was dumbstruck. There were few reasons to bring up the seal that enslaved the Branch house to the Main house in a business discussion. Pausing for a few moments, Hiashi came to the only conclusion that could even remotely make sense considering the unpredictability of the youth in front of him. If this was going where he thought it was, then things would be interesting very soon.

"I…I…"

"Remember" Ghost said in a mocking tone, "This, unlike all those other times, is actually a private conversation. It's just the two of us here, and I think that you know that I won't be saying anything soon."

Irritated, Hiashi took in a deep breath before replying with a stern voice. "I have always been in opposition to the seal. Were it not for the facts that the means to remove the seal disappeared long ago, that we do not know of another seal that could adequately protect our clan's bloodline, and the constant opposition of the clan's elder council, the use of the seal would have been forbidden the moment I became clan head." Hiashi's face softened as he remembered his brother and his sacrifice.

Ghost grinned in a manner that unnerved Hiashi. "Good answer. I also would have accepted 'It's a horrible torture seal that needs to be erased from history' and 'I don't like it because it clashes with our eyes.'"

Hiashi merely gaped at the man and seriously wondered if he should just kick him out right now.

"Question two." Ghost continued. "If there was a way to take off the seal and replace it with a far more efficient and flexible seal that could be taught to members of your clan, would you use all your power to join the two houses, provided that everyone in the clan was labeled with that seal?"

Hiashi smirked. This conversation **was** going the way he expected it to go. Still, it didn't hurt to be careful. "Describe more flexible." He asked.

Ghost shrugged. "Fine. Let's see. When you die, the bloodline gets erased. If the sealed person's body has certain 'body content' removed or inserted without his or her consent and a baby comes from said content, the baby will not have the bloodline. This includes cases of rape, experimentation, removed appendages, and just about everything else. If the eyes are transplanted without the user's consent, the eyes will instantly revert back to normal without any chance of regaining their previous abilities unless the acceptor is also a member of the clan. In extreme cases, the user can trigger the seal automatically on him or herself to remove the bloodline from their body before something unexpected happens. If the seal is being tampered with, it will automatically set off, taking out your blood line without killing the bearer, unless they wanted to die to avoid being tortured by their captors. So on and so forth."

Hiashi gaped at the youth. "You can make a seal like that?"

"Me? Hell no! Genetic alteration seals with a multi trigger and recovery system are a complete bitch to design. Besides, I already have a hard enough time learning how to make seals in the style I'm using now." Ghost deadpanned.

_'I'm over two thousand years old and I'm still only a level six seal master. There are people a hundredth my age who are better at this than I am. Sniff. I'm old.'_

"I'm unable to make the seal. _Removing_ seals is a simple task for anyone in my family, especially me. _Making_ seals, however, is my brother Crypt's job. I won't introduce him to you until the last possible moment. If I do so earlier, you would cancel the deal right then and there. The guy isn't exactly normal."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in another universe, a man with ratty shoulder length black hair and blood red eyes was running around in a circle. His unzipped trench coat with blood red flames around the bottom also acted as a strait jacket. This made the fact that he was somehow wearing a pair of ignited pants on his head more impressive than it already was. Under the interesting hybrid clothing was a dark red tee shirt with an odd tribal design on it that looked more like an ink blot. Around his neck was a necklace that had a miniature, yet wicked looking black scythe with a blood red blade hanging off it. His currently ignited pants were black cargos with many pockets, and the boots he was wearing would be normal dark brown steel toed boots if it weren't for the very small jagged spikes jutting from the front and top of them.

His boxers were pink with happy white bunnies on them.

"The Illuminati are after me lucky charms! Hide the chandeliers!"

o. o. o.

Ghost shivered, "Insanity incarnate aside, the guy is one of THE best seal masters I know. He is easily better than Jiraiya, and will probably have the seal finished about a month after he arrives in town. It would be sooner, but he will need some time beforehand to familiarize himself with the ninja style of sealing so that you guys can perform it later. The guy's quality is always top notch, and gets the job done. The seals he designs are also often fairly simple to make, so you don't have to worry about complicated rituals when applying them."

Hiashi was practically drooling. How long had he been looking for the answer to his problems, looking in all the scrolls of the clan library, ending up at dead end after dead end, only to have the answer land right in his lap!

All he had to do was get … the elder council … to agree. Hiashi mentally groaned.

"We may have a problem." Hiashi muttered.

"The elder council?" Ghost asked with an unsurprised tone.

"Sigh. Yes, the elders. Even if your seal does everything you promise it to do, the elders will most likely oppose the change. Many of them are too addicted to the power that they have over the Branch house to allow both houses to join and change their way of dealing with clan matters, which too many of them already believe is _'acceptable'_ ", Hiashi spat out the word like poison. "The fact that an outsider made the new seal won't help either."

"Does that mean you will give up before you even try?" Ghost asked in a rather serious tone. Hiashi flinched. "Was your first answer a lie?"

The clan elder was for once fidgeting in his seat. Even if he could not see the youth's eyes, why did it look like he could see right into his soul?

Hiashi sighed. "It's not that… it's that if I cannot convince the elders to make the change to the new seal, which is more than likely… then how am I supposed to make the entire clan to make the change without sparking a civil war? The moment the elders suspect something is amiss, I can say goodbye to my position as clan head, and any hope of change will be gone for another few generations. If word of a better seal reaches the Branch house, they would start rumors and start a revolt, causing the elders to use the seal on them and dividing the two houses even further."

Ghost stared at the slightly unnerved man, thinking about what he had just heard. "… only if they aren't part of the plan in the first place." He smirked.

"What?" Hiashi asked confusedly.

"If the clan elders shoot down the plan for the seal, why not have a plan B?" Ghost grinned. "Tell the Branch house that a new seal is in the making and to spread word to all the members who are trustworthy if the elders say no." Hiashi paled. "Then on a planned night, my family and I will come in, some of us will start removing the seals while others start applying the new ones. It should only take about an hour, as our style of applying seals is a lot faster than the norm. You have like what, fifty to seventy people in the clan, total?"

"34 Main house members and 147 Branch house members." Hiashi answered, somewhat depressed.

"… Okay, so it will take a couple of hours to pull off. It's not like the Branch house will be against it in the first place. If we give them word of what we're doing, they could all be organized to make the switch before we even get there." Ghost reasoned. "We simply change our strategy a bit. I remove the seals - which I can do very, very quickly - and get the free Branch house members to go in and hold down the Main house members that put up a fight so that the Branch house members who still have the old seal on them won't get targeted." Hiashi nodded, liking where this was going.

"While they are doing that, Crypt, you and any other members of the clan with decent sealing skills that are for the change will start to apply the new seal on all the Main house members first. After the Main house is fully tagged, you can get to the rest of the clan without any problems. I should be done un-sealing everyone by the time you're done with the Main house. After the change, any elder clan members who still try to oppose you or the change can be arrested for going against the Hyūga clan and kicked off the council, allowing you to put in members of the clan who don't think through their wrinkles." Ghost concluded, grinning like a child. "Of course, that's just one way we could go through with things. We could easily come up with something else as time goes by."

Hiashi was contemplating the strategy. The Branch house would of course be all for the change and welcome it with open arms. He would get in trouble with members of the council, of course, but the new seal was simply too good to pass up. He could always argue that the new functions of the seal were well worth the chaos that would happen to ensure the clan's safety as a whole.

"There would need to be more planning involved." Hiashi mumbled audibly, "but I see your point. I will prepare things when the timing is right should the elders reject the new seal."

Ghost smirked. "Third question, then." Hiashi was unnerved for some reason. He didn't know what was going to be asked, but odds are that he wasn't going to like it.

"Are you willing to gamble your daughter Hinata's future for the future of your clan?"

o. o. o.

A/N

OKAY! Ch.6 done! Like the cliffy?

This chapter introduces my favorite OC character next to Ghost, Crypt. I assure you, he will have many more 'special' moments later in the story, and his fighting style is perhaps the most unique out of anyone else in the story… or in my case any story I have seen. Really, I can't think of any other style as different or as off as this guy's… except maybe that Voldo guy from Soul Caliber.

Please, anyone who wants to beta this story, let me know. I have several chapters already set up, but I'm constantly adding new things to each one to make the story seem more balanced and at a steady pace. While this makes the quality of the story much better than I expected it to be, it's taking too much time. It's hard for a person to catch their own mistakes or to find more things to add to their own story.

Any suggestions are welcome, but make sure that they are reasonable for the pace of the story. I am not going to rush relationships between characters and I am not going to have Naruto suddenly be accepted by everyone in the village. I will throw a lot of chaos into the story, but that's just really part of everyone's nature. Ghost's trip out of the village will not be covered… and Anko will have a decent role to play in Naruto's training, whether she knows it or not… hehehehehehehe.

Updating wise, I've decided on trying to post around 2 chapters a week, Monday and Friday, starting today, which will more than likely kill me after about a month. (Sob, the chapters just keep on getting bigger and bigger. WHY!?)

Anyways, like before, please review. I hope to get at least 10 reviews with this chapter (being optimistic here) and once again, the polls are open. Vote NOW!


	7. Initial Preparations: Complete

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 7: Initial Preparations: Complete

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

o. o. o.

"Wh-What?" Hiashi stammered, caught completely off guard by this latest question.

Ghost's unreadable grin never left his face. "I repeat, are you willing to gamble your daughter Hinata's future for those of the clan? It's a simple question. I thought that since it's pretty clear that you don't really regard your daughter Hinata highly, you would put her future and chances to be happy below the future of the clan."

Hiashi was losing his temper, "Why would you assume such a-" he began to rage, activating his dōjutsu.

"Because it's what everyone else in the village thinks, dumbass." Ghost interrupted with a final tone, yet still maintaining its upbeat level. Hiashi went into a temporary shock.

"What?" He gasped.

Ghost shook his head in disappointment and sighed. "You think that the Branch house keeps quiet about the heir of the Main house and their only known possible salvation relentlessly getting the shit beaten out of her by her father, teachers, cousin, and sister on a daily basis?" Hiashi flinched. "Dream on, Hiashi. They may be Hyūga, but they do have the balls to speak up in irritation once in a while... or get drunk at a bar occasionally. I've been here a week, and I've been listening to all the latest rumors going around. The ones about the Hyūga clan are not pretty."

Hiashi was mortified. The public knew of his daughter's treatment?! How could he have let this happen? All he did was try to make Hinata as strong as he could to protect her; was that so wrong? 'Relentlessly getting the shit beaten out of her'? Was he that bad?

Finding the floor rather interesting, Hiashi tried to gather his remaining thoughts in order to try and get himself out of his current humiliating position.

"By gambling my daughter's future…" he spoke softly, clan pride long since forgotten and replaced by the shame of being a failure of a parent, "what do you mean by that? What are the rules of such a gamble? Depending on the conditions… my answer may change."

Ghost apparently eyed the man. It was hard to tell with his glasses on. "I don't see why not." He said in a calculating voice, dropping much of the mirth that had been present until then. "The gamble would be a marriage arrangement…" Hiashi's head shot up and was about to yell. "Not to me, you perverted old man. Wait for me to finish." Ghost said with his hands raised in defense. "This contract would be to the direct descendant of a Kage." Hiashi's eyes widened. "You will not know who he is until an appropriate time in order to ensure the safety of both parties. All you will know is that the rules of the contract will be that Hinata will not get the Caged Bird Seal, you will treat your daughter with at least some dignity and care, you will tell your nephew about what really happened to his father and give him that letter you have been hiding from him at an appropriate time sometime soon so that the record sized stick in his ass will be replaced…" The clan head was having trouble breathing at this point. Who was this guy? Not even the clan elders knew of his twin's letter to his son. "And," Ghost finalized, "you will NOT mention the deal to ANYONE. Not Hinata, not the Branch house, and especially not the elders unless absolutely necessary to keep the contract from being broken. Failure to follow the terms would result in… information being released to the general public." Ghost stretched his arms up and interlaced his fingers, holding them behind his head at a very particular point at the base of his neck. "I believe you know which information I am referring to?"

Hiashi gulped. Despite the fact that this youth was in the middle of his compound, and did not seem like he could put up much of a fight, Hiashi was a ninja, and as such his senses were screaming at him that youth in front of him was capable of things that should not exist. That underestimating, let alone fighting him, would result in death. That he was leagues above what he was showing to everyone else. In short: don't fuck with this guy if you are accustomed to living. Given what he had already witnessed, he was willing to agree.

Trying to distract himself and calm down, Hiashi tried to piece together what he was told. His daughter would be married to the direct descendant of a Kage. To his knowledge, all of the Tsuchikage never married, and the current one was a decrepit old man with a bad hip problem. The current Mizukage was a young woman who seemed to not have ever had a decent relationship, and all her predecessors and their families either disappeared or were murdered violently. Bloody Mist indeed.

Last he heard, the current Kazekage had two sons and both one were around his daughter's age, so technically it could be one of them. He was pretty sure that all the previous Kazekage's families minus the Third do not have any single children or descendants at the moment. Plus, Sand was allied with the Leaf, so it would only improve relations between the two nations. However, he'd heard some unsettling things about the younger one. Something about insomnia, hearing voices and mass killing sprees. The elder brother's reputation was not worth mentioning either.

Hiashi paused. "This descendant of a Kage… he wouldn't happen to be from Kumo, would he?" He asked.

Ghost was sleeping on the floor.

"Must not kill. I am a Hyūga. We do not kill out of petty rage." Hiashi muttered to himself to keep him under control, completely forgetting his previous fear of the guest.

Several jūken strikes later…

"As I was saying," Hiashi spoke, ignoring Ghost's comical attempts to regain feeling in the left side of his body, "This Kage descendant, he is not from Kumo, is he?"

Ghost groaned as he fell to his side again. "Kumo? Yeah right! I may be a bit off, but there's no way I would do something as crazy as to marry your daughter off to the country that tried to kidnap her in the first place. That's cruel, stupid, and rude." Ghost attempted to get up, only to fall flat on his face. "I happen to be a nice guy and only screw over people that have it coming to them. Your daughter is too nice and caring for me to even think of doing something like **that**. Smaller jokes, such as exploding cows and wearing embarrassing costumes in public are okay though."

"Cows?" Hiashi asked in a lost daze.

"Their overall potential in several fields is unexpectedly high." Ghost replied in a matter of fact tone.

Hiashi sighed. Going back to his list, the only country left with a Kage was the Land of Fire's line of Kage. He knew for a fact that the last living direct relative of the first two Hokage was Tsunade, so the Senju were out of the picture. The only child that is a descendant of the Third is his grandson, Konohamaru, but if he was the one Ghost was talking about, it would make more sense to match Hanabi with him instead. They are the same age, so it would only be logical that those two would be together instead of him and Hinata. Then there was… the… Fourth's… son. Hiashi stared at Ghost, still trying to get up, not seeming to pay attention to Hiashi's face show a mild look of shock.

" _I happen to be a nice guy and only screw over people that have it coming to them. Your daughter is too nice and caring for me to even think of doing something like that."_

" _You will not know who he is until an appropriate time in order to ensure the safety of both parties."_

" _Failure to follow the terms would result in… information being released to the general public."_

" _I've been here a week and been listening to all the latest rumors going around, and the ones around the Hyūga clan are not pretty."_

While he wasn't a Nara, Hiashi was far from stupid. Years of shinobi experience and dealing with the hidden messages of his clan suddenly accumulated in the leader's head as he suddenly realized what was happening. The pieces were falling rapidly into place in Hiashi's mind as his stern mask slipped back on. It was common knowledge that Hinata was infatuated with the Kyūbi container, and that was part of the reason why the elders were so adamant on getting rid of the shy heir. If this guy was good enough to get a hold of such a secret as the blind spot of his clan's bloodline limit in a week, then finding out about his daughter's not so secret crush must be old news, and finding out that the boy is the son of the Fourth would not be as impossible as first assumed.

Hiashi had no real qualms about the boy. Sure, he had played a few annoying pranks around the village and one or two on the compound, but it was obvious to anyone who paid attention to him that all they were all just cries for help and attention. He had on occasion attempted to aid the boy indirectly through the council, but the civilians shot him down each time. He was most ashamed that the Fourth's, that Minato Namikaze's son had to go through such an abysmal existence when he should technically be treated with greater respect than the Hyūga clan... which was something he would never actually say out loud. While Hiashi only spoke to Minato on a few occasions, he had nothing but respect and admiration for the man. It should be obvious to anyone who spared a second glance at the boy that he was Minato's son, and as such should be going out of their way to aid the poor boy in any way possible.

That being said, only the Nara and the Aburame had deduced without aid who Naruto really was, and the Akimichi and the Yamanaka both then found out from the Nara given their close relationship. The only reason why the Inuzuka know is because one of the older dogs made a comment to Tsume about how Naruto smelled like Minato… plus fox and ramen of course. Tsume put two and two together and was kicking herself for the next two weeks about how stupid she was. Hiashi knew who Naruto was the second he saw the boy, but was not stupid enough to let the clan elders know. They would just try to take advantage of the child and try to enslave him by sticking him in the Branch house…

Of course, there were attempts to adopt the boy from all the other main ninja clans (minus the Uchiha… pricks), but they were shut down by the civilian part of the council and Danzō. The war hawk was adamant about turning the unsung savior into a weapon from day one, however Sarutobi had repeatedly managed to prevent Danzō from doing anything too radical… so far, to his knowledge at least.

Although, judging from how the Uchiha brat came out, maybe some good had come from that horrible upbringing after all. While annoying, childish, and disrespectful, Hiashi knew that the boy treated those who made an effort to get close to him like family, and was eternally loyal to them. Hiashi also remembered something that came up in the village council meeting a few days earlier.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

_All the council members involved were quietly praising the gods for the long and immensely boring meeting's ending. Unfortunately, just as the first few members were about to leave, Danzō made himself known. Everyone groaned at the thought of getting home well past two in the morning._

" _Ah yes, I forgot to bring up one more topic." The partially mummified man said. Hiashi focused on the war hawk. While he did not completely approve of Sarutobi's pacifistic views and methods, they were far more reasonable and less risky than the radical crap that Danzō tried to pass every now and then. Unfortunately, he was often backed up by a large portion of the civilian council, so getting rid of the tyrant was nearly impossible at the moment despite his incredibly seedy reputation._

" _It has come to my attention that an unidentified man has made his way into the village and has not registered at the gates." There were murmurs about the council. Danzō's face twitched, almost as if he was going to smile, but didn't. Hiashi remembered that there was a running joke among the more intelligent council members that every time Danzō smiled, an orphanage burned down. So far the count was 3 for 3 since the Kyūbi attacked. "While this by itself is somewhat worrying, what I discovered next would make me wonder greatly about the village's security." He had everyone's attention at this point. "It seems not even twenty four hours after the man was first spotted, he was found in the middle of an abandoned training grounds standing over the unconscious body of the Kyūbi container with the young Shikamaru Nara standing nearby. My sources tell me that the word 'seal' was mentioned more than once…"_

_The room exploded._

" _He has tampered with the seal!" One old man shouted._

" _The monster will be released!" A woman with pink hair and green eyes shrieked._

" _We must kill the demon before it's too late!" came out of many civilian's mouths._

" _QUIET!" The Third shouted, in a somewhat tired fashion, leaking some of his intent to get the point across. Hiashi, while unnerved by this information, noticed that Danzō was smirking very slightly, and that despite this news, Sarutobi did not seem all that worried. He rather seemed like he was about to do something that he didn't really want to do, but knew that it was going to happen eventually, like losing a bet and being obliged to do something nasty and stupid… or that he was thinking of putting ANBU on watch at all of the orphanages in Konoha the next few months…_

" _I can assure you all that there is nothing wrong with the seal now, and I happen to know of the man you are talking about, Danzō."_

" _Now?" Danzō asked, actually intrigued with what his rival meant. The rest of the council was intrigued as well._

_Sarutobi sighed. "Yes, now. I will confirm that the seal containing the Kyūbi was not as perfect as we first believed." Sarutobi raised his hand to ensure that everyone stayed quiet. "I can assure you that the seal was still doing its job in keeping the monster inside Naruto. What the man fixed were other aspects of the seal that were hazardous to the boy's life, and in turn made Naruto stronger and more able to handle the demon's power." Several grumbles were heard from across the room. Hiashi noted that several of the clan heads were both worried and relieved upon hearing this information. "Apparently, even though the demon's cage was and is secure, the poisonous effects of its chakra were not dealt with in an appropriate manner and were slowly destroying the boy from the inside. I was told by our new friend that if such effects were to have continued for several more years, it may eventually have led to the seal to break. The man has experience dealing with people with Naruto's… condition, so I am confident in his abilities to prevent anything from going wrong. As for who the man is and why he did not register at the gate, all I will say is that he is an acquaintance of Jiraiya's and came here to repay a favor. He has a… unique personality, and skills to match. It would not surprise me if he snuck into the village instead of registering at the front gates just for the sake of doing so."_

_Everyone in the room sweat dropped. There was someone stupid enough to sneak into a major ninja village just because he felt like it?_

_The old man continued, "For now, he will be staying with Naruto and helping him adjust to his new seal, which will affect some of Naruto's motor functions and chakra control for the next three months. NO ONE is to attempt to observe their training or attempt to follow them. Their training is very hazardous to anyone in the surrounding area, for obvious reasons." He let his hand down. "You may ask any necessary and INTELLIGENT questions now." Sarutobi stressed the last part, knowing that a good portion of the council will attempt to kill the 'demon brat' legally due to this new development._

_Shikaku surprisingly spoke first. "Just to answer any questions before they are asked, my son doesn't know of the Kyūbi. He told me when he got back that Naruto invited him to play a game of shōgi against a friend of his, which we can assume was our guest attempting to get to know Uzumaki before trying to change anything. Most likely, he was trying to get more information to make the adjustments more precise. When the group got to the meeting place, the man suddenly started talking about some seal in a rather panicked manner soon after their meal and dragged the two to the training field. While he was working on the seal, the man was mumbling to himself incoherently and didn't make much sense. All my son really did was hold the guy's equipment to give him an extra pair of hands while he worked on the seal." He lazily yawned before continuing, "Unfortunately, the event has caught Shikamaru's attention and is now curious as to why there was such a complicated seal on his classmate's stomach in the first place. I managed to stop him for now by telling him that it was a very important secret and that it would be too troublesome to know now, but I don't know how long he will stay away from the subject."_

' _Nor why he's had that look in his eyes since then.' Shikaku thought. There was a small amount of grumbling and whispers among the council. "As for questions," he finalized, "what will the fixed seal do differently compared to the old one if the fox was still secure?"_

_Sarutobi slumped in his chair, glad that Shikamaru's presence during the incident inadvertently made things more manageable for him later on. "According to our friend, whom I will not name," looking at Danzō, "the seal's filter properties were more than broken. It seemed that our greatest leader and the god of death themselves did not have enough time to double check everything before applying the seal."_

_Hiashi blanched. "Are… Are you implying that the Fourth made a mistake?"_

_The old man exhaled a large breath. "Yes, Hiashi, that is exactly what I am saying. The containment seal itself worked perfectly, but the function of the seal that filters and leaks the Kyūbi's chakra was, and I quote 'One of the most feeble and half-assed examples of its kind in existence.' Apparently the filter failed only after a few years, meaning that raw, corrupt demonic chakra was leaked into the boy's body at a young age, poisoning him constantly and affecting his physical and mental growth. Supposedly, he would not have had a chance to survive the transition at all if the filter failed but a month earlier. Not only that, but the filter itself was in a position that could be and was easily looked over by even the most skilled seal masters, which is why the mistake was not found earlier."_

_Sarutobi grew angry as several members of the council started muttering about their cursed luck, and 'so close'. "With the fixed seal, our new ally has informed me that Naruto's chakra reserves will grow at an even greater rate than before, while also possibly managing to achieve decent chakra control without poisoning the boy. It also appears that in addition to that and his now unimpaired growth, his healing factor, which I believe many of you are aware of given his rather… impressive recovery time and record of stays at the hospital." Sarutobi said with an irritated tone, remembering the boy's hospital record, "will be far more effective from what I hear."_

_"It will most likely not be a bloodline limit, but his children, if he has any, may show signs of slightly accelerated healing and larger chakra reserves. This trait will most likely thin out through the generations, but still be significant enough to warrant interest. Not only that, but ironically due to Naruto's body developing a slight resistance to the poison of the Kyūbi's raw chakra, plus the new and improved filter seal, our ally has informed me that when - and he has no doubt in his mind that it IS when, not if - when Naruto finally does tap into the great reserves of the Kyūbi, he will suffer less damage as a whole compared to other jinchūriki."_

_Judging from the looks on everyone's' faces, Hiashi correctly guessed that this meeting would going on for another few hours. Hiashi spent the rest of the meeting watching the civilian council trying to kill Naruto, Danzō trying to turn the child into a weapon, or both trying to get the boy to breed a generation of fast recovering, super charged ninjas, wishing not for the first time that he was a Nara so he could fall asleep in the meeting and not get judged for it._

o. o. o.

_'So that was him.'_ Hiashi thought.

Pondering on all the recent information, Hiashi concluded that it was Naruto that Ghost was trying to wed Hinata to. By not saying who his daughter was marrying, he protected both Hiashi and Hinata if the deal is agreed upon and someone found out. By hiding the information about the groom, then even if someone finds out that Hinata is betrothed, if all that the elders know is that she is to wed the descendant of a Kage (that's not from Lightning), they will let up and believe that they are getting rid of a failure and making the clan more powerful at the same time. If all else fails, the threat of someone revealing secrets of the Byakugan would shut them up. A multi layered plan. If all goes well, the Hyūga clan will not only be united, but have a powerful alliance with another noble clan as well.

Naruto's new abilities would also be worth noting. The life of a ninja is very dangerous, and Hiashi does want his future grand-children to have a higher chance of succeeding. This recovery power and higher chakra reserves would be very enticing…

_'So he knows about Naruto.'_ Hiashi thought.

_'So he knows who Naruto is and doesn't seem to hate the kid_ ,' Ghost thought, suppressing his grin and trying to move his arm.

_'Let's see where this goes.'_ went through both of their heads.

"If this is going where I think it is," Hiashi started back into business mode, carefully not mentioning Naruto's name for the sake of plausible deniability, "How will you get permission from Hokage-sama? Surely he will have qualms about-"

Hiashi was cut off as Ghost slammed a piece of paper onto the table between them with his good arm. The presentation of the parchment would have been impressive if Ghost was not moving like a gimp. "Hiashi, Hiashi, Hiashi." Ghost taunted in a condescending tone. "Do you really think that you and your clan are the only ones I have dirt on?" Ghost removed his hand to reveal an engagement contract, already signed by the old man himself with what _appeared_ to be Naruto's name written in illegible scribble on one side.

"How did…" Hiashi started.

"I asked the old man to put an illusion on the paper before I took it to the kid and told him it was some form he had to sign to get permission to do a few things. Idiot didn't look twice before signing it." Hiashi deadpanned. "Oh, you mean how I got the old man to sign the paper, haha. Simple really, I just let him know that if he didn't, he would suddenly lose a lot of respect from the female population of the world and that his special gold edition of the Icha Icha books in his office would mysteriously disappear."

On the outside, Hiashi was twitching.

On the inside, Hiashi was raging.

_'THAT OLD FUCK HAS THE COMPLETE GOLD EDITION SET!?'_

Gaining his composure, Hiashi continued his conversation. "I am concerned about how he will treat Hinata, though. It would be unsightly for the clan if the boy were to act in an unruly manner when they finally do wed, or if he would treat her appropriately."

"Don't worry about it." Ghost waved his hand. "The kid is a lot more mature and talented than he lets on, trust me. Even though he looks like he's infatuated with someone else, I can assure you that he will end up completely in love with your daughter. Those two were practically meant for each other if you think about it. Besides, it would be nice to actually have a person connected to your clan who can talk to people without intimidating them every time he makes eye contact."

Hiashi only nodded in agreement, sweat dropping as he reluctantly confirmed what Ghost had claimed. "To answer your question," Hiashi breathed out slowly. "Under any other situation, I would not gamble my daughter's future for the clan. Despite what others think, I do care for her deeply. The reason why I treated her in such a poor manner these past few years was to maintain my position of clan head. If I did not, then someone more … pliable would replace me, and without a doubt subject my daughters to whatever the clan elders have planned." Hiashi growled at the thought of what some of the 'honorable' members of his clan would do to his family if left unchecked.

Ghost grunted, accepting Hiashi's reasons begrudgingly.

"However… I believe that this particular… gamble is worth the risk, and I believe I can trust you to uphold your end of the bargain." Hiashi let loose a smirk, which was returned by a more fitting smirk from Ghost.

The two proceeded to sign the notice. "There, my daughter Hinata and… the descendant of a Kage are now engaged." He could not help but smile mischievously.

"Ah!" Ghost exclaimed as he took the scroll back and slipped it into his pants. "Before I forget, your daughter is going to be training under me a few days of the week for a few months."

Hiashi narrowed his eyes, his temporary mirth already lost. "Oh? I thought the training was extremely hazardous to spectators."

Ghost waved his hand lazily to deny Hiashi's claims. "Nah, that's just crap the old man and I made up to keep most of the idiots away. _Cough*_ Danzō _*Cough_. As for how this happened in the first place, Hinata accidentally came across Naruto and I doing some recovery exercises and she wanted to help."

_'Apparently she's still stalking the boy.'_ Hiashi thought tiredly.

"I told her to come every few days for a bit of extra training." Ghost continued. "Nothing big though. I'm just going to fine-tune what she knows. I also made it clear to both of them that any kind of relationship beyond a mere casual friendship is strictly off limits for right now." ' _At least in front of everyone else.'_

"Fine-tune?" The clan leader repeated with a raised eyebrow.

Ghost nodded. "Yeah, you know, make her faster, more flexible, more precise, more chakra control, bigger reserves. That kind of stuff. Hell, being around Naruto that much might even increase her confidence a bit." Hiashi nodded, agreeing that a change in scenery would do his eldest good. Also, if what he witnessed earlier with Hanabi was a decent representation of the man's teaching abilities, then Hinata's technique would improve by leaps and bounds.

"I did tell her however, that she would have to hide the bulk of her progress from pretty much everyone, so don't be surprised if she doesn't really look like she's improving much when you are training her." The young man added in casually.

"And why is that?" Hiashi growled. Why should his daughter hide her growth and let people step all over her?

"Because she is a ninja, or at least will be one soon." Ghost replied, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "What's the point of being one if everyone knows what you are capable of doing from the start? The more she hides now, the more shit she can rub into the elder's faces later."

Hiashi wanted to slap himself in the face. It was so obvious! Perhaps he had been a clan elder for longer than he thought. He needed to get out more.

"Okay. Last question before you can ask yours." Ghost said, lying down on the ground. Hiashi gave him his full attention. This man was too important to simply casually answer halfheartedly. "…Can you please un-paralyze my body? I have an itch I can't reach with this arm."

o. o. o.

The meeting was over.

Despite most of the questions going through his head, Hiashi concluded that the man would probably not answer ones that he did not want to answer yet. Asking how he knew so much about his clan would be pointless, and asking about his powers would more than likely result in a dead end and a bad joke. Hiashi could only come up with one reasonable question.

"Why?"

The response was simply, "Why not? Do I have to have a reason to help those that need help? Do I have to think of the honor of myself or my family before every breath I take or every deed I do? Hiashi, sometimes people just do things with no reason to support it, regardless of honor, glory, or common sense. It's what makes life interesting."

That being said, the two shook hands and swore on all they believed in (Hiashi in his clan, his village and his eyes, Ghost in screwing around with people who deserve it, his family, and that women are the scariest things in existence) that they would uphold their ends of the deal.

As the door opened, Hinata's head shot up from her knees. She noticed that the air around her father was more… bearable than it was before, as if her father had softened a bit. He looked the same, but he was different, as if some of the strain of the clan had been lifted off his shoulders.

The three walked to the main entrance. Ghost noticed that he was curiously attracting a lot of glances from the other members of the family that have not seen him before. Obviously, word of his little training tips must have spread around the compound like wildfire. He also noticed that a fair amount of the women looking at him were blushing slightly.

_'Yes! I am a sexy bastard! Hehehe. Hyūga women: moaners, kinky, and hot as hell. Yep. Jackpot… and the best part is that since they all look the same I could have a threesome and it would almost be like going out with TWINS! The holy grail of all men's desires! Who ever invented twins was a freaking genius! I could dream like this all day long! Twins twins twins twins…'_

o. o. o.

In another universe, three men and a woman were playing double dog dare jackass poker when they all raised their head in unison.

"Hey Waltz?" Asked the early to mid-twenties looking woman. She had straight long brown hair, olive green eyes, wore a pink tank top over her mildly developed assets, black cargo pants with a chain loop on one side, and a black trench coat like everyone else there except there was no designs on the bottom and the sleeves were extremely long and wide at the opening, threatening to swallow her hands if she let her arms down. Hooked on either of her hips was a clawed and scaled gauntlet, both masterfully created and maintained.

"Yes Shadow?" Politely replied an old man who pretty much looked like father time gone badass. The man was easily over 6'6, even if he was on the skinnier side and hunched over a bit, but his muscles were in peak condition. His messy long hair and beard were grey with occasional peppered black strands, which somehow brought out his deep sharp blue sapphire eyes. His shirt underneath was ocean blue with a wave like tribal pattern underneath the coat. His long sleeved trench coat looked like it had once been part of a priest's robe, and on his back were a six foot long wooden walking stick with several knots at the top with some leaves growing out of it, and a large blue two handed sword, at least 5 feet long. The sword looked like it was half a teardrop sliced lengthwise, with the handle coming out of the side of the large base and the blade. Along the thick sides of the sword were several powerful looking runes.

"I think Ghost is enjoying himself a bit too much at the moment." Shadow answered as she looked around the table at her other opponents.

"Agreed." Replied the monotone Scabbard. "He has not returned or sent word of anything since he ran away from you in fear last week sister. Perhaps he is still celebrating his escape." Shadow's eyes flashed to an icy cold blue for a moment as she growled.

"He called me fat and old." No one there dared to mention that the statement was half right. They valued their internal organs and outer layers of skin too much.

"I believe it's time to show our hands." Scabbard spoke up, revealing three eights.

Waltz moaned, showing a pair of sevens and a pair of jacks.

Shadow chuckled and showed her hand, three fours and a pair of fives. "Suck it bitches, full house!"

Then Crypt slammed his head on the table, un-sticking the cards that had been plastered to his forehead. "Yahtzee! Where's my two hundred dollars?" He had a royal flush.

"Shit." Scabbard swore.

"Fuck." Shadow muttered.

"Oh dear." Waltz paled.

"Look over there Crypt!" Scabbard shouted with a bit of hysteria in his voice, pointing to an empty room. "It's the Floor!"

"Gasp! My eternal enemy! I will get youuuu!" Crypt jumped from the table and raced into the room, followed by Scabbard who locked the door right behind him.

"Good job Scab." Shadow breathed heavily. "You have earned yourself immunity from the punishment." She then turned to Waltz, smiling almost insanely. "But you still lost." Waltz started to sweat profusely as Shadow pulled a pink spandex ballerina dress and a can of Ben Gay from out of nowhere.

o. o. o.

Several hours later, a crying old man with shiny legs in a way too small spandex costume was arrested at the local library for creating a public disturbance and giving children nightmares. Apparently he was re-enacting several scenes from Les Miserables by himself…

o. o. o.

After saying goodbye to the front guards - and promising them both a bottle of high quality liquor in apology for getting them two months of garbage duty - , Ghost started to walk back to the training area. It was almost 7 PM, and he had no doubt in his mind that Naruto would castrate him if he had to wait another hour. The boy had made that clear enough after nailing his precious cargo over 30 times in the past week. Ghost was seriously starting to wonder if one of the gods he had pissed off during one of his earlier exploits put a curse on him that prompts people nearby to hit him in the gonads. If it was true… then it would have solved so many questions of his…

Walking to the training grounds, he noticed he was being followed by ROOT agents, again. About four of them this time. Pretending as if nothing was wrong with the world, he continued along the empty path.

What the spying agents didn't realize or bother noting was that Ghost was flexing his hands into something like a fist for a few moments, then relaxing them again, and then repeated the motion. Nor did they notice the small, virtually invisible bulges in the air that left his hands when he relaxed them and traveled in several different directions. So it didn't surprise Ghost when all four ROOT spies suddenly dropped from their hiding spots completely knocked out after several small pops in the air sounded.

Ghost sighed. This was the ninth group that had attempted to spy on him since he got here. If this keeps up, he might have to deal with the combat force sooner than he thought. He didn't want to have to be with the kid the entire time, and he didn't want to have Hinata brought under surveillance either. "Oh well. They won't really see anything unless they try to watch the training, and I'll get to them before they manage to see that."

That being said, Ghost started to go through the unconscious spies' equipment, taking out kunai, smoke bombs, wire, exploding tags… and pausing at the chakra conducting blades, shaped as kunai. "Hellooo, what do we have here?" He muttered, taking out the sharp implements. Looking at the other spies' equipment, he mentally patted himself on the back as he saw that they also had some of the rare weapons. Not a bad haul.

Doing a mental checklist, Ghost noted that he now had around 8 sets of chakra conducting metal weapons, a fair amount of standard shinobi equipment (kunai, shuriken, bombs, tags, pills, etc.), 6 weapons that fall into their own category, and roughly 9 pieces of weaponry made of extremely high quality metal, and 4 different issues of the Icha-Icha series, all… acquired from ROOT spies.

"The kid DOES need some sort of sword length weapon…" Ghost mused to himself as he inspected the equipment, "Like hell he's actually getting an actual sword though, even IF those rumors about his mom are true… the kid is an assassin for fuck's sake, not a samurai… wait…"

Ghost paused and looked at his arms from various angles, keeping his fingers straight occasionally as if to make a chopping motion, and at other times making his hands in a groping gesture while moving them around. Then he started to do some motions focusing on the side of the arms. Throughout the entire process, the smile on Ghost's face grew more and more, evolving into a mischievous grin that would even have the Kyūbi backing up in fear and respect.

"Oh… oh yeeessss. This will do most nicely. Kukukukukuku." Ghost chuckled evilly, and then slapped himself in the face. "No! Bad Ghost! You are NOT a pedophile! Bad! No cookie for you!"

One of the downed ROOT members groaned, only to have Ghost kick him in the head, further increasing his stay in dream world. "Forgot about you guys." Ghost muttered as he turned back to his newly acquired equipment and started packing them away and storing them in his various pockets and hooking the pouches on his belt. He then took out some ink from one of the newly acquired pouches and started to write two seals on each of the downed agents. One to keep them unconscious, and the other to make them weigh less, a reverse 'weight' seal.

Ugh, how he hated what these things were called. They really should be called gravity seals, but that name was already taken by the seals that are used for training that mimic the general idea of what gravity seals _should_ do. If _those_ things really were gravity seals, then half the people he knew would be sinking into the ground by now…

"Now… what to do this time…" Ghost mused to himself as he picked up the last spy, his mood slightly darkened by his inner ranting. "The kid can wait another couple of hours… this is waaaay more important. I think I'm feeling a bit festive and colorful tonight." He chuckled evilly as he marched to the nearest hot spring carrying the four men on his shoulders. "Flamingo dancers and bunny girls it is."

Little did Ghost know, or care, but his confrontation with the ROOT was witnessed by a certain snake mistress and the eldest child of the Inuzuka clan.

o. o. o.

Shikamaru was not having a good time.

Why? Several "troublesome" reasons actually.

The first and most annoying reason was that he was still in the academy. Even though Shikamaru saw the merit in going back in time to prevent mistakes from happening again, it did not mean he couldn't grimace at the thought of going back the academy for another dull six months of pointless and outdated lectures that were next to useless on the battlefield. Hell, half the things that Iruka was teaching the class would get the average shinobi killed for even trying!

Luckily for him, all he had to do was sleep in class. Though it was hard to do so when he realized how much his friend was really hated in his childhood. Hindsight really is a troublesome bitch, as he occasionally heard rumors about the blonde that were blown way out of proportion, even for academy students…

Hinata **had** been slowly changing though. He could tell that the shy girl was pretending to be shy more and more often over the past week. He also occasionally caught her staring at him during class with a combination of curiosity, inquisition, and inspection. Shikamaru was pretty sure that she didn't have her memory back, as the change was more gradual and over time, but he was confident that Ghost and Naruto were somehow involved… like with the pirate, space alien and giraffe bondage incident. No one else in the village was bold… or crazy enough to do something like that and manage to get away with it... except maybe Anko, but she preferred to maim and mutilate her victims.

Getting back into decent shape was also a hassle. Because everyone knew that he was one of the laziest people in the village, Shikamaru had to be careful about where and when he trained. If he was caught by anyone doing advanced physical, chakra, or family jutsu training, he would have to give a believable answer as to why he was doing so… and so far he couldn't come up with a reasonable lie, and wouldn't be able to until he was set up with Asuma again. That would be an interesting experience…

It also didn't help that his father suspected him of something. Playing shōgi was nothing compared to talking to Shikaku these days. It wouldn't be the first time Shikamaru cursed his luck for being born in a family where being a genius was almost hereditary, but given the chance it would certainly be one of the loudest.

And then there was the Hokage. Several days after Shikamaru 'came back', he got a summons from the old man saying that he needed to be asked some questions based on the night in question. Shikamaru expected as much.

What he didn't expect was that Ghost had already recovered the Third's memories, as Ghost had conveniently forgotten to tell the Nara.

As soon as he entered the office and the seals were set up, Shikamaru was bombarded with questions about the future from a rather frantic Sarutobi. Luckily, Ghost **did** instruct him not to tell those who had died and had their memories restored about events that they didn't already know about and various related facts, aside from new powers and abilities.

Needless to say, Sarutobi was frustrated due to lack of information. However, he was impressed by the Nara's insight and advice on future activities, including new training methods that Ghost had suggested, how to deal with various problems within the government, and tactics that could be employed during the invasion. So much so that he told Shikamaru that if he needed to talk to Sarutobi about anything, he would be shown straight to the office without paperwork or prior word, much like Naruto was.

When Shikamaru asked why Ghost didn't have clearance, Sarutobi just deadpanned and stared at the youth, as if to say 'Do you really think he uses the front door?'

Just as Shikamaru was about to leave however, Sarutobi asked one final question. "Can we trust him?"

Shikamaru just turned around, sighed, and stared back at Sarutobi. "Hokage-sama, the man has turned back time, saved our lives, fixed Naruto's seal, is giving us information, and if what he says is true, is going to make us even stronger. All on a whim." Shikamaru turned back to the door way and left the Hokage with his answer. "Instead of asking yourself if we should trust him, you should be asking the more troublesome question, given our situation and what we know he can do: Do we have a choice?"

o. o. o.

The next week went by quickly. Ghost continued to drill Naruto on his chakra control, his kata, and his physical conditioning. He could already cut leaves between any two fingers of his hand without any trouble, was starting to make his kunai sharper with chakra, could perform all Sage Mode-less kata on any tree surface and on water, and was starting to get the hang of combining leaf balancing on his head with tree and water walking as well.

Naruto's dodging and kunai throwing had also been getting better. The throwing was simply a result of using his clones to practice, but the DODGING was a combination of using his clones and watching out for whatever Ghost had gotten his hands on that day, and developing the paranoia and reflexes to dodge at any point in time. So far he had escaped from kunai, shuriken, mailboxes, senbon, knives, swords, daggers, axes, spears, arrows, boxes, scythes, sickles, weapons he didn't know the names of, forks, spoons, sporks, tweezers, whips, light bulbs, smoke bombs, poison bombs, flash bombs, stink bombs, chickens, tables, scrolls, assorted fruits, assorted meats, more mail boxes, crabs, Konohamaru, Tora, etc., etc. of various speeds, sizes and occasionally covered in exploding tags. Needless to say, his dodging skills had improved greatly, and that it took a lot to catch him off guard now.

He was also finally getting used to sticking leaves on various parts of his body at once as well, especially on his forearms and shins, though he still couldn't do that and the other exercises at once yet.

When Naruto asked why he needed to learn how to expel chakra from various parts of his body at once, Ghost merely replied "It will help you learn something really, really cool later on. Now quit your bitching and get back to work." Then Ghost started giggling in a very creepy way.

Naruto had also just started his Rasengan training again, and was practicing the first step with both hands, one handed, and would not be able to practice the second step until he could pop the balloons in both hands at once in under two seconds while water walking, and once more with tree climbing.

At the moment, he could only pop the balloon in his right hand after 8 seconds on dry land, 12 seconds tree climbing, and 18 seconds water walking. It was nearly double that for his left hand, and Naruto was currently incapable of doing both at the same time on dry land in under a minute, let alone doing advanced chakra exercises. Ghost assumed that it would take a few more days' worth of clone training for Naruto to finish this step.

There were now an average of 900 clones training at once, split up into their own groups. How Ghost got so many water balloons to the training ground without anyone knowing was a mystery.

Due to not having his mind and body constantly being poisoned, Naruto found learning to be somewhat easier than before, and he seemed to have less trouble concentrating on random tasks as well. Explanations that would have confused him before or that would have taken another time to repeat seemed reasonable to comprehend and understand now. He could memorize facts easier, and it seemed that he would think a little more before he spoke now. Only a little, but that was a huge improvement none the less.

Naruto's eyesight and sense of smell were also noticeably sharper. He could already identify several dozen people, objects, foods, and other things by scent, and could focus his eyesight to see over twice the distance of a normal ninja clearly if he wanted to. While Ghost admitted that he did not know much about using the sense of smell in combat situations, he guessed that Naruto's potential in his enhanced nose could make him on par with at least the less capable members of the Inuzuka clan.

In addition to the training, Ghost had managed to convince Naruto that the sudden increase of funds in his bank account was because he had asked the old man for a little extra cash to support them both. Not stopping there, Ghost was starting to teach Naruto some of the culinary arts so that he would have a decent diet (and because women like men who can cook), and how to give a good massage.

When Naruto asked why he needed to learn how to give a back rub, Ghost replied that it would help relieve stress and relax muscles in tense situations to provide better body control. That, and he would have Hinata, or any woman for that matter melting in the palm of his hands within five minutes of rubbing their back. If you were good enough, it becomes a FAR more efficient way of interrogating female prisoners for information. Naruto noted that Ghost was explaining all this with drool coming out of his mouth and a slight blush on his face.

Naruto just said Ghost was a pervert.

They were both correct.

Because Naruto was still hated in town and Ghost was still a new face, Ghost did most of the shopping for the blonde. He didn't get overcharged for equipment or food, and sometimes got discounts when using his 'charms' on the cashier girls actually worked. So far… it's worked only twice.

Hinata came to train three times that week, much to Naruto's joy, and she was already showing signs of improvement. By the end of the first day, her stuttering was significantly less noticeable and her resolve to improve herself had skyrocketed. She still had momentary relapses and blushed a lot around Naruto, but that was to be expected.

Ghost had given the shy girl a moderately difficult physical conditioning routine, focusing on precision, speed, stamina, and extreme flexibility. The latter of the group was practiced on most of all, especially after Ghost whispered something to her about how men were attracted to flexible women.

After getting some advice on how to do some basic chakra exercises, including tree climbing and water walking, her control and reserves increased as well. Ghost believed that this was because she probably trains hard by herself as well, not like the rest of her family would really notice anyway.

Hinata had also started the Rasengan training, but her version was a bit different than Naruto's. After Hinata could prove that she could comfortably apply the exercise in either hand (she didn't have to do both at the same time) while tree climbing and water walking, she would have to invent a way to apply the technique to her Jūken in a way that could be used in combat efficiently before she could move on to the next level. If she could not seem to figure out a way to mix the first or second step with Jūken, she could move on to the next step, under the penalty of having to create three different applications using the new step and the previous step instead of one.

Ghost and Naruto also came to an agreement where not only would Naruto be in charge of Hinata's special training - she was never taught the name of Rasengan for safety reasons - , but that it would be safe to teach Hinata the Shadow Clone technique after she completed the second step, seeing as both require an intense amount of chakra to complete anyway.

Hinata was also sworn to promise that she would not use the final product technique (Rasengan itself) unless she absolutely had to, and if she did, had to swear to their anonymity. When asked why, the two responded that the technique was very rare, but well known, and questions would be asked if she was seen using it.

When Hinata had exhausted her chakra and was on her half an hour breaks, she would take roughly a dozen Narutos and start lecturing them on proper manners, etiquette, standard social behavior, answering questions without revealing too much, and other useful skills of the sort.

…Or in the first case, try to before passing out due to a massive nose bleed caused by being surrounded by a dozen shirtless, sweaty Narutos. Needless to say Hinata's dream diary entries were getting more and more… detailed as time went on

Meanwhile, Ghost was doing a bit of training of his own. He decided that if things got too out of hand and he absolutely **had** to step in, he would need to masquerade as a ninja and use ninjutsu and taijutsu instead of his own brand of supreme ass-kickery. In order to do so, however, he had to learn how to manipulate chakra. It took Naruto two days of giving a swearing five year old Ghost advice before he could unlock his chakra pools, and another four days to learn how to mold the chakra enough to be able to tree climb for several hours. It surprised both Naruto and Hinata that he could learn how to mold chakra so quickly, but Ghost merely responded that he also worked hard, was a quick learner, and also had a faster method of training. Naruto spent the rest of that day begging Ghost what this secret was.

He finally snapped after fourteen straight hours of begging and pleading from 900 mouths.

"FINE FINE! PLEASE! JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!" Ghost was sobbing. There was no moderately sane person who could last this long. Too bad he wasn't Crypt. He was only barely sane. "Part of the reason why I can learn so fast is the same reason why I can change my age." Ghost continued. "One of my powers is self- time-space manipulation."

"Time-space? You mean like what you did to mrph!" Naruto was silenced by Ghost's arm in his mouth as Hinata watched curiously, noting that Ghost had traveled about twenty feet faster than the eye could see.

"Did you already forget that she doesn't remember you idiot?!" Ghost whispered into Naruto's ear. His eyes widened.

"Anyways, no. It's not **that** power. Hopefully you will never have to see that particular one again." Ghost continued, removing his arm from Naruto's mouth. "Self- time-space manipulation means that I can make myself faster, slower, change aspects about myself, force ripples of myself to exist, and if I'm really pushing the laws of physics, alter my own genetics to a certain extent, among many other things."

To prove himself, Ghost kicked out one of his legs and it mutated in front of their eyes into a hand like appendage in a matching fingerless glove. The hand made a few gestures to show that it was fully functional. "I just de-evolved and mutated my leg. The reason why my boot changed is because my brother and I did some experiments to change the boot while I change my leg. The end result is that my boot is somewhat part of my personal time-space now, and that whatever form it has taken in the past, I can change it to at will."

"That's sooo cool!" Naruto shouted.

_'He's this strong, but he is helping me out?'_ Hinata thought.

"I bet you just make yourself faster whenever there's a fight." Naruto grinned.

"Nope." Ghost chuckled to the surprise of his two students.

"What?" They replied. "Why not?"

"I rarely make myself faster when it comes to a fight. What's the point of making myself stronger to fight enemies that I should be able to take out without the extra strain?" Ghost questioned. "Most of my fights aren't that extreme, so I just use my current skills to take on my opponent. If I rely on making myself faster all the damn time, not only will it take up too much energy, but my skills would suffer as well. Then when I do have to fight someone that requires my enhanced speed, I can at least be assured that my performance won't be rusty enough to endanger me in the fight. Believe it or not, there are **some** people that can keep up with me…" _'U_ _p to a certain point.'_ he mentally smirked, "… and I know for a fact that they don't let their skills dull by relying on their enhanced speed. It's always good to have good base skills to rely on if your ace in the hole fails, and I assure you that I have had to fight without my speed against stupidly high odds before."

The two slowly nodded, understanding the logic behind what Ghost was saying.

Changing his leg back Ghost concluded. "Back to your original question though. My faster training method is simply that, faster. I merely make my body move in a faster time frame and train at that speed. Over the past week, during the time you slept, I trained a grand total of about… one year, or about 100 times the speed of a normal person given I was training while you were sleeping. The reason why I don't do this often is because it is exhausting as fuck, and it makes me eat according to how much faster I make myself, so don't be surprised Naruto if a good portion of your life's savings has gone missing. I was really hungry."

Naruto looked like he was about to kill Ghost in many, many painful ways, enhanced speed be damned, when Ghost continued. "Luckily, I believe that due to my training, I can pull off the Shadow Clone technique in bulk now, given proper instructions of course. Chakra, while it acts differently than the normal energies that I use, is remarkably similar in nature and foundation, though a bit less potent and a lot more flexible. I don't have an unholy amount of it like you or my brother Scabbard do, but I do have enough to probably make about a hundred for training without killing myself. You should feel lucky. If I didn't have such a good grasp on my internal energies, you would have probably spent twice as much on my food bill before I got this far."

"And why should I teach YOU a forbidden technique while YOU do nothing but keep on taking my money?" Naruto asked with a familiar god of death hovering right behind him.

"One, because you owe me for THAT CHANGE I did." Ghost replied, not specifically saying what he did because Hinata was right there watching curiously. "Two, because I fixed the screen to your window." Obviously referring to the seal, "Three, the sooner you teach me that move, the less of your money I will be wasting on food." Nailing the boy with logic, "And four, I'm bigger than you."

"You should have stopped at three." Naruto growled.

"Yes, yes I should." Ghost agreed. Hinata giggled.

"You too Hinata-chan?" Naruto wept with puppy dog eyes in her direction.

"I'm sorry N-Naruto-kun" Hinata replied, her stutter almost completely gone.

"My awesomeness aside." Ghost continued, "I believe that it is time to upgrade both of your physical training to the next level since you have a decent grasp on the basics now."

The two youths looked at each other in fear. They had already found out that their new teacher had a very sick and disturbed sense of humor and view of how to do things. The 'kunai and shuriken' dodging practice earlier that day made sure to get the point across. How he managed to get a life sized model cow covered in exploding tags to fly in the air **that** fast was beyond them, let alone 29 of them. When asked why he used a lethal amount of explosives, Ghost merely replied that he used his imagination… and that they should expect the unnatural (or clinically insane) when dealing with other ninja.

"I believe it's time to give you two what are commonly known as gravity seals."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Just to tell people ahead of time, the universal squared sealing language has two forms, symbols and rings. Rings are for over the top and exceedingly complicated seals that do big things, and can easily compact themselves into a small area. They also have the benefit of being almost completely invisible to most methods of detection unless energy is flowing through them.

Symbols can do the same things as rings, but would take up more room, and can't hide themselves unless designed to. Symbols are generally used to save time for simpler tasks, such as exploding things, paralyzing bodies, and minor changes to the laws of physics. Symbols can also be more potent if they are written with special liquids, such as blood or a mystic substance. The more potent the medium, the more effective the seal.

Oh yeah… DEAD FANTASY 4! WATCH NOW!

Review! Review! Review! There will be fights coming up soon! I just need to set things up first! Please don't leave me!


	8. Propositions and Protection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 8: Propositions and Protection

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

I REPRESENT THE LOLLYPOP GUILD!

900+ hits between this and the last chapter… not bad.

**Spoiler ALERT!**

Looked at the new chapter (458) and discovered two major things:

1\. The 4th Mizukage is/was the jinchūriki for the Sanbi. That means that Madara could have been the 3rd Mizukage, but not the 4th, however this does start some interesting theories on what happened…

2\. Look at Kankuro's new puppet…a good long look. Familiar? Anyone? Time's up! If you guessed Sasori… then you are correct! Yep, the puppet puppet-master is now… just a puppet apparently.

**End of spoiler**

o. o. o.

"Gravity seals?" both Naruto and Hinata repeated.

Ghost shrugged. "Well, that's what they're called by trade anyway. In reality, the seals do something else completely that mimics the idea of what gravity seals are supposed to do on the body that it is applied to. However, I've been doing so much explaining lately that I don't want to bother with explaining the laws of physics and sealing to you two."

"So what?" Naruto asked skeptically. "Do these seals make you heavier or something?"

"Pretty much." He half-lied. "The seals themselves are in a way more efficient than training weights. All the force on your body is evenly distributed, ensuring that all your muscles and movements are being pushed instead of a few select ones." Ghost replied, grinning as he saw Naruto's face split into an evil smirk and as Hinata's face put on a look of determination.

"This is gonna be gooood." Naruto mused to himself.

Ghost continued, "The seals will not appear on your body unless you change the intensity of the weight. They will be located to the side, at the base of your spines… right above your butt cheeks." Naruto and Hinata's faces both became atomic red.

"U-um, do w-we have to have our seals, there?" Hinata stuttered.

"Yeah you sicko! Why do they have to be in such a place? I bet you're just doing this to fulfill your perverted fantasies…"

WHAM!

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata yelled.

"The seals are set there because no one really aims for the pelvic bone. It's too hard to hit," Ghost explained to a semi-conscious Naruto and a panic stricken Hinata, "and if your opponent can hit that spot from the back, they would pass it up for the easier and more effective targets on your body. You don't have to worry about anyone seeing the seal either because I can assure you that only people trained in this style of sealing can detect its presence when it's not being changed, and there aren't any in this part of the world aside from me and soon my family."

"The main reason why I am putting it there is so no one will notice it when you trigger the seal. While it is unlikely that anything your opponents can do will ever affect the seal, I am taking extra precautions to make sure nothing goes wrong." He grinned as the two children's faces went from moderately white to tomato red at a record pace. Ghost clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "So then. Who's first?"

All three of them were thinking the exact same thing.

_'He's/I'm enjoying this waaaaay too much.'_

o. o. o.

After two chases, several lacerations, a game of eenie meanie miney moe, and lots of profound language/screaming, both Naruto and Hinata had received their gravity seals set on 1.5x normal gravity and were getting used to how heavy their bodies felt now.

"Okay! Rule time!" Ghost exclaimed as soon as both children came back to the world of the living and learned how to change their seals at will. "Naruto, you will have your seal at a slightly higher level than Hinata due to your build and your style. Both of you will eat, sleep, train, and relax with your seals on. However, I also want you two to spend at least half an hour to an hour every day with the seals off so that you can familiarize yourself with how your bodies move without restraint. It is pointless to be fast as hell if you can't control yourself. You are not allowed to increase your load unless I give you permission. Doing so may result in permanent body damage." The two swallowed heavily. "Are there any questions?"

Hinata raised her hand. "Um, Ghost-s-sensei. Do you have a gravity seal on you?"

Ghost grinned. "No, I don't." He responded. Before Naruto could explode he continued. "I have something far more potent and effective for my fighting style on me than gravity seals, and NO, I will not give it to you. I am the only one who can handle this kind of training. Even my entire family admits that anyone other than me would have to be a complete idiot to put such a ridiculous strain as the one I put on my body every day, and one of them has a rivalry with the floor."

The two children sweat dropped. The floor?

Looking up at the sky, Ghost saw that it was getting dark. "Okay. I think it's time we go back home." He turned back to the kids. "The next time Hinata comes to train, we're going to start on a new training exercise for the both of you that will increase the effectiveness of your taijutsu. In the meantime, you both will continue with your physical conditioning and chakra control. See if you can do the same amount that you normally do with the seals on you. If not, try to push yourself until you can finish by the end of the day."

Both children nodded.

Ghost and Naruto left first so as to divert any attention away from the area before Hinata left half an hour later. While on the way, Ghost made Naruto increase his seal's potency to 1.75x. It took a few minutes for Naruto to get used to the extra weight, but soon he was walking in tandem with his new ally.

While walking through town, Naruto made a quick motion with his head, one that asked Ghost if anyone was listening in on their conversation. After Ghost's 'no' response, which was a large, over the top stretching motion, Naruto started talking.

"I was wondering, Ero-nii (Naruto's new nickname for Ghost came up after Hinata's first appearance. Ghost approved without a moment's hesitation.), you said that I would be teaching Hinata… THAT move. Why would you do something like that? I mean, I'm glad you are trying to make her strong, but why that move in particular?"

Ghost chuckled. He knew something like this was going to come up eventually. "Simple, my simple minion." A vein popped on Naruto's head. "The reason why you are going to teach her THAT move, or more importantly, the three chakra control exercises that make that move is _because_ she is a Hyūga."

Naruto looked confused. "What does that have to do with anything, Ero-nii?"

An evil grin appeared on Ghost's face as he rubbed his hands together. "Everything my friend, everything." He turned to a slightly disturbed Naruto. "Tell me, what do you know of the Hyūga family's taijutsu style, Jūken?"

Naruto scrunched up his face in thought. "Well let's see. They force their chakra through their hands to deal damage to their opponents' insides. Their Byakugan lets them see their opponents' tenketsu and chakra network, so they can manipulate or turn off a chakra network with a few strikes, and it lets them see all around them, so they can't really get caught off guard unless you trick them into turning their Byakugan off. They also have that weird spinning move, what was it? Kishin? Kirin? Kaiten! That's it! They spin really fast and release a lot of chakra from their entire body to make this really tough shield." Naruto grinned proudly. "I still beat Neji's ass though."

"Not yet you haven't." Ghost muttered, pissing off Naruto again. "But that aside, you are forgetting some small details that should be looked into."

Naruto glared at his new (perverted) teacher curiously.

"Tell me, what does Kaiten do, aside from the defending, differently than the rest of Jūken?" Ghost asked. "Think about it like one of your pranks. Think of the small, slightly insignificant things that end up biting people in the ass if exploited."

Naruto turned away from the man in thought. What does Kaiten do differently aside from defend from the rest of Jūken? Well, they both hurt like hell, that's for sure. Naruto swore that his tenketsu still weren't open from that 8 trigrams… whatever move that Neji pulled off on him in the Chūnin exams. Each damn strike hurt like hell… wait, strike?

Naruto focused on that thought. From everything he saw regarding Jūken, most if not all of the damage was dealt with a physical strike to any part of the body, but it **had** to be a physical contact strike. Trying to remember Hinata's fight with Neji in the preliminaries, Naruto recalled that whenever a blow was deflected, a short burst of chakra blasted from their hands. The blast though… it didn't really go that far, which is probably the reason why physical contact was needed.

Thinking about Kaiten, Naruto realized that the move itself required a lot of chakra to be forced out from the entire body in order to work properly to defend from any attack. Not only that, but the technique did not require physical contact, one of the major consistencies in the rest of the Jūken style. But that was to defend. Attacking a person's insides shouldn't take **that** much energy if all the user needed to do was his fingertips to deal efficient damage, it's not like it needs the user to expel chakra from their entire body to attack in one direction. Doing it from a distance shouldn't prove to be that difficult either if the user knew what they needed and what they were doing. It would simply require a lot of focus, control…power… and knowing where to… hit.

Naruto looked up and grinned evilly at Ghost, who smirked in kind. "Range."

Ghost smirked even more. "You're half right." Naruto's eyes widened in surprise. "Range is one of the things that Kaiten has over the rest of Jūken. The other thing that it… sigh. Hold on." Ghost put on a tired look as he turned around. "Can I help you, good sirs?"

Naruto turned around to see six ninja with blank hunter-nin masks and cloaks standing in line. Naruto knew that Danzō was behind this and that he didn't do anything wrong yet. He also wasn't supposed to know about ROOT at this point. It still didn't prevent him from almost jumping the men and trying to rip them apart with his bare hands.

The ninja in front of the others pointed at Ghost. "Our leader requests your presence, foreigner. He has a proposition for you. If you would please be so kind as to follow us…."

Naruto was about to tell the men off in a very profane manner when Ghost responded casually. "Sure." Naruto snapped his head back to his guest.

A whispering voice sounded itself in Naruto's ears. " _Don't do anything stupid to give them reason to think you know something, idiot. This was going to happen sooner or later. Let me take care of Danzō for now. Let them think you are still a weakling."_

Wondering how the hell Ghost could talk to him and still not draw the attention of the ROOT members while standing right in front of them, Naruto put on a look of semi-faked worry as Ghost walked to the cloaked men. Hey, the guy could talk to the Kyūbi like it was no big deal and screw with the fabric of time and space. What harm could a mere secret assassin society do to him?

As the group disappeared into the darkness, Naruto sighed and continued his way back to his apartment. "This won't end well." he muttered to himself as he turned the corner… right into an angry drunk mob waiting in front of his home.

"Nor will this." he mused.

o. o. o.

Ghost daydreamed to himself on how to approach Danzō as he followed the emotionless drones through the village. Blackmail, flaunting power, playing stupid, oh the possibilities one could exercise on a deluded and paranoid tyrant when you were obscenely powerful and knew half of his darkest secrets.

Stopping in the middle of a park, Ghost saw that Danzō was already waiting for him, sitting on a bench overlooking the small lake nearby. It seemed like a peaceful setting.

There were at least fifty ROOT agents hidden in the area. No doubt some had set up a genjutsu to hide their presence from outside the park.

Too bad most, if not all illusions don't work on Ghost. He had found loopholes around these things millennia ago. People always assumed that if you control all five senses, even occasionally that sixth sense that everyone has the potential to develop, that you can control your opponent like a puppet.

They never assumed that their opponents could create a new sense of their own.

What the Hyūga saw permeating the air around Konoha was Ghost's natural energy, soon to be chakra. Being an air elemental specialist, Ghost had trained his body to leak energy at controlled rate into the air, where it could stay for long periods of time. Normally, the energy leaked would be barely noticeable, even by the Byakugan, but since this was a new world Ghost had to cover more ground… air…. whatever, in order to get a better feel for everything around him and 'condition' the air. This affected air, which by itself has no effect on anyone or anything around it, acts like a radar or an external set of nerves for Ghost. He has used this ability for so long that he can perfectly navigate himself anywhere, identify and locate anyone, tell when a person is lying, and somewhat regulate and determine chemical components in major affected areas, which was usually about a 500 meter radius around Ghost when he wasn't pumping out energy like crazy. Not only that, but with a little extra juice he can control the air around him to a certain extent. Air currents, some basic chemicals, minor to medium pressure changes, and the ability to make decently sized voids of space in the air are at his disposal… without lifting a finger. WITH moving… well, Ghost can move a lot if he wanted to.

He was planning on teaching Naruto this trick within the three month training period. He would never reach Ghost's level of mastery, even with clones, but it would still be enough to give him a major advantage on the battlefield.

And it was this ability that made him completely immune to almost all illusions. How can you trick a sense that you didn't even know existed? Answer: You can't.

"Nice meeting spot." Ghost commented, walking up behind Danzō. He started to clench and unclench his hands at a slow steady pace. The man didn't move. "The moon is reflecting off of the lake perfectly."

"Indeed." The old man replied, a little too bluntly for Ghost's tastes. "I don't believe we have met." The mummified man continued. "I am Danzō, one of the elder councilors to the Hokage. I invest in the… security of my village."

"And I am Ghost." He replied, bowing a little too extravagantly for anyone's taste, "… a traveling nomad. I invest in… stuff."

"Stuff?" Danzō questioned.

"To be perfectly frank, I've had my hand in so many fields that 'stuff' is the only word that decently sums it all up." Ghost shrugged. "Any other words I could use to describe it are too bothersome to use for my tastes. I like simple."

"Ah…" Danzō replied, clearly not amused. He turned his attention to the lake. "…Do you know why I have bothered to send my men for you, if I am solely interested in this village's security?"

"…Because I'm so damn handsome that you fear that when I leave that all the eligible women in town will leave it to follow me?" Ghost replied with a perverted grin on his face.

Danzō glared at the youth with his good eye.

"No? Is it because someone finally realized how awesome I am and doesn't want me to go?" He struck a pose, puffing his chest out and hands on his hips, still doing the unnoticed gripping motion.

Danzō was starting to lose his temper and was about to send some of his minions to silence the boy when Ghost spoke again, this time with a quiet air of confidence around him.

"Or is it because you are afraid of a complete stranger from out of town that came out of nowhere and managed to knock out several of your more valuable spying seals within a matter of days and has knowledge of several of your most carefully kept secrets? Like your ROOT program? Or how about that Sharingan eye you have in your right socket? …Or Itachi?" His grin widened. "Come on, tell me you two… oh excuse me, THREE faced old bastard…"

Danzō's left eye widened in shock. Whoever this man was, all potential use for him was null and void. He knew far too much, and thus had to be disposed of.

Moving far more quickly and farther than anyone would give him credit for, Danzō widened the distance between him and Ghost, simultaneously giving the signal for the surrounding ROOT agents to dispose of the youth. Ghost merely stood in place, staring over the lake with his hands in his pockets.

…Nothing. Not a single agent made an appearance. Danzō was starting to sweat. Where were his agents? Even **if** the target knew how many were there and where they were despite the illusion hiding them, he should not have been able to do anything about it, let alone while they were all watching him! Danzō took a quick look around to where his men should be stationed, only to occasionally see an exposed arm or leg sticking out of some bushes or over a branch.

"They're not dead." whispered a voice from right behind him.

Danzō jumped away, once again defying the fact that he was supposedly crippled, and for once contemplating that he may be a bit too old for this. Right behind where he was standing previously, Ghost was smiling like a child. The distance that the man covered in that brief moment was astounding, let alone doing so while not being noticed. The only people that came to Danzō's mind that could even possibly achieve such a feat were Gai and the Fourth!

"How?" He growled as he attempted to figure a way out of this situation without placing any suspicion on himself.

"Allow me to give you some advice, Mr. Mummy-wannabe." Ghost spoke up with far more confidence and less immaturity than he was exhibiting before. "You don't know who I am. You don't know what I do. You don't know what I can do. You don't know what I want. You don't know my family, and you don't know me. In short, you have nothing on me. You can't hold anything over my head, you can't provide me with anything I don't already have, and you are far too **weak** to even try to force me to do anything." Danzō flinched at the weak comment.

"You are, though, irritating me to no end with your lap dogs trying to tail me everywhere I go. I'm curious, have your men recovered from their ear problems yet?" The old man growled. Even if they did recover, it would do him no good. Sarutobi arrested them several days after his talk with the youth and they were currently having nice heart to heart conversations with Ibiki. He was just glad that he had all his agents sealed with that information suppresser seal. "No? Such a shame. I soooo wanted to make it up to them by inviting them to a little costume party…" Ghost mock pitied as he walked up to the mummy.

"I will not let you corrupt MY village. Sarutobi, the Kyūbi boy, Hiashi. I don't know what you are up to but I will not let it happen." The man growled.

Ghost burst out laughing. "HAHAHA! ME? Corrupt YOUR village?! WHAHAHAHA! That's a good one! And I thought you had no sense of humor!" He was hunched over on the ground at this point, his head nearly touching the ground.

Danzō thought he saw an opportunity and closed the distance between the two in a single leap, attempting to stab Ghost in the heart with the blade hidden in his cane. What he didn't expect was for Ghost to suddenly spin on his head, deflecting the blade with one leg and breaking Danzō's arm between both legs in a single deft motion, before landing on his feet, still slightly hunched over.

"Heheh, bitch please." Ghost chuckled, still getting the laughter out of his system as the old man stumbled back. "I took out all of your men while walking to you without anyone noticing and you think that I would be dumb enough to leave myself open to attack just because you said something stupid? I would have been killed a thousand times over if I actually did that around my family. You must be losing some of your paranoia."

Danzō said nothing as he glared at Ghost and huddled over his second useless arm.

"You said you had a proposition. Well I'm going to ignore yours and give you one of my own." Ghost started. "You will have nothing to do with anything I have a part in, nor will you try to find out what I am doing. This includes the Hyūga, Naruto, my family, and anything else that will occur that even seems like I have my fingerprints on it. The second I even think you are trying to pull something behind my back, village secrets will start to fly all over the elemental nations. Starting with yours." Danzō started to sweat profusely. "And I know a lot of your dirty little secrets. In return, I will do jack shit to you or any of your assumed projects unless they eventually conflict with mine. Then it's open season on your ass."

"What is the point of me doing nothing to you if you are just going to do what you want and destroy the village?" The old man growled, still refusing to break eye contact with the strong youth.

"Who said I'm going to destroy the village?" Ghost asked, a bit tired. "I'm helping it **not** get fucked up by morons like you." Danzō glared at Ghost. "For your information, your stupid escapades to become Hokage have placed several retardedly powerful ninjas against the village, most of whom can level whole towns by themselves." Danzō's eyes widened. "And I am here so that Murphy's Law doesn't go into overdrive." ' _Again.'_ Ghost leaned right in front of Danzō's face. "Face it, dip shit. You and your little WEED group are a problem, not a solution."

Ghost started to walk away. "Stay away from me and my projects Danzō. This is your only warning, because I can assure you," He flared a good deal of his unique brand of killer intent, causing the cripple to freeze in his tracks, too afraid to move. How no one else in the village felt it was beyond him. "I can do things that would make the Kyūbi shit itself in fear, and I'm not reluctant to use them on lone human beings, let alone a crippled old man."

Ghost walked away from the park, from several dozen squads of unconscious ROOT agents, from a glowering Danzō, and from a set of hidden eyes. Three sets of dog eyes, and one human.

"His scent…" The human pair muttered to herself as the man disappeared into the shadows of the village. "It's… empty…"

o. o. o.

Hinata trudged home, struggling a little bit under her new weight, once again deep in thought about the recent events. She had gotten a new teacher, talked to Naruto, gained his trust, was spending more time with him, and was actually getting stronger!

The academy instructors could only teach her so much that she didn't learn at home, and even when she was learning something new, they could only give her so much attention. Ghost-sensei seemed actually interested in her progress and did not discourage her in the least, even when she failed at a task... or at least you couldn't take him seriously when he did. Despite his immature personality and his young appearance, there were times when he seemed to be as old as her father or the elders, giving wise advice with near infinite patience. Well, infinite until Naruto does something to get on his nerves, such as 'accidentally' throwing kunai at him when his back is turned or hitting him… or when Sensei made an inappropriate comment about her. She could do without that. Still, for the first time, she looked forward to training.

But still, she was noticing more and more things that seemed odd. For one thing, Naruto was actually paying attention to her. When they were training, she noticed that there were always a couple of clones stealing glances in her direction with a slight blush on their faces. When they talked, which they did more in the past week then they did for the first eleven and a half years of their lives, he even paid attention to her and seemed to care about her wellbeing, something that a majority of her family didn't even seem to do that often. Why? Didn't he like Sakura? Didn't he ask her on a date every day and not have eyes for any other girl? It was almost as if he had lost all interest in the pinkette and had her in his sights now… but that couldn't happen. Could it?

More changes in his behavior that came to mind were becoming more apparent to the Hyūga heir as well. Naruto seemed more mature and patient, showing more signs that what she saw the day before he left was not a misjudgment. It was like he grew up another 5 years in the middle of the night. He still yelled a lot and often made childish mistakes or gestures, most frequently when Ghost was around, but he still seemed more controlled now.

She had also noticed all the physical changes in Naruto: his eyes, his whisker marks, his hair, and even his chakra was different. Before, his coils were huge and dotted with a weird red chakra that seemed more dangerous than normal chakra. Now his coils were even bigger, but the red chakra was all but gone. When Hinata asked what had happened, the two hesitated before telling her that it was the main reason why Naruto was on sick leave in the first place and that the rest was a village secret. Hinata really wanted to know more, but she was still too shy to press forward with her interrogation. She was still scared that if she went too far the two would change their minds about training her.

To be perfectly honest though, Hinata thought the physical changes made him look more… wild.

Naruto really is a lucky son of a bitch.

Adult fantasies aside, Hinata was really proud of her progress, which Ghost claimed was impressive considering she worked by herself and her currently low stamina. _"You must be a quick learner, unlike_ ** _some_** _people."_

Indeed, by the end of the week, Hinata had an excellent grasp of tree climbing and was on her way to perfectly applying water walking as well. All that truly held her back were her somewhat small chakra reserves and her low self-esteem, which were both increasing at noticeable paces. She had already increased her training exercises by half an hour per set since she started, and her stutter was noticeably reduced.

Her speed, flexibility, and precision were on the rise as well. While she didn't show it to her family, she had already noticed that her strikes were a bit faster and were coming more naturally to her than before, allowing her to progress in her family's style more than she expected to.

Speaking of her family, ever since Ghost talked to her father, Hiashi had been a bit more lenient on her training. Well, lenient as in he had stopped calling her a failure and has refrained from using excessively violent teaching methods. Despite her attempts to hide her real progress, it seems that her father still noticed a decent change in her. The previous day he even said that she might not be such a lost cause after all, with a not so cold look in his eyes. The elders and Neji still gave her a rough time, but that was to be expected. She still wished that her cousin would warm up and realize that the world was not as evil as it seemed, but it looked like nothing would thaw his cold heart or the colder stares he gives her or make him stop muttering about fate every few minutes. When Ghost heard about Neji's fate rants, he laughed.

" _Let me tell you a secret, Hinata. Fate is a bitch. An old, crusty, ugly hag of a bitch who can only say what will most likely happen. Anyone who has the balls to go up against her will win if they try hard enough. If Neji is Fate's bitch, well… It makes you wonder if he really has any Hyūga pride at all, being a bitch's bitch. The point is that your cousin may be a genius, but he has already lost to those who have actually tried hard enough to prove him wrong. If you want to prove him wrong, then try. If you don't win the first time, get up, get better, and try again. No one said you had to succeed the first time, and only complete idiots will think that the first time is the only time that truly matters… well unless it's a life or death situation, but we'll talk about those later."_

What Hinata didn't know was that what Ghost said about Fate was true. She really was an ugly ass old hag of a bitch. Seriously, all those bad 'Yo' Mama' jokes that don't seem physically possible apply to her perfectly. Oh, and the stuff about only showing things most likely to happen bit was true too.

The training that Hinata was most interested in was the special chakra control training that Naruto was giving her. Even though she had just started that day, Hinata could tell that this training would help her greatly. The trouble she was having with the first step alone was proof enough that what she was learning was complex and powerful. Simply breaking a water balloon with chakra was easy by Hyūga standards. She simply used her Jūken and sent a chakra strike to the balloon and popped it like a needle to the edge. Imagine her surprise when Naruto and Ghost told her that she was doing it wrong, and showed her the 'correct' way of doing it. She had never heard of rotating chakra in the palm of your hand before, and already she was thinking of ways to apply it to her Jūken to make it more powerful.

She couldn't pop the balloon yet, but she knew that it was great practice even if she knew she wasn't doing it right yet. Under normal circumstance, Hinata would be frustrated and gloomy for not being able to accomplish such a feat, but that was when Naruto came in. His constant support and good cheer help uplift her spirits greatly.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

" _Don't worry Hinata-chan." The hyperactive blonde cheered (it was most likely a clone though). "It took me two weeks of constant training before I got past the first stage, and even then it was by a complete accident on how I figured it out. Hehehe." The blonde laughed, scratching the back of his head. "Even after that, I still needed to use two hands to pull it off for a while afterwards. I don't think you need to use two hands though. Your chakra control is WAY better than mine, and you are really strong! You should be able to finish this step much faster than I did!"_

_Hinata blushed and smiled. Throughout the week, the two had been getting closer and closer, almost as if he knew more about her than she did. "B-But I'm not as strong as you Naruto-kun…" Hinata mumbled, staring at the water balloon in her hands. Said water balloon fell out of her hands when Naruto lightly bopped Hinata on the head, surprising the shy girl._

" _Don't say that Hinata." Naruto said seriously. "You are strong, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise." Hinata blushed profusely, but allowing Naruto's words to take root in her head. "Not only are you strong, but you are smart, fast, beautiful… crap, I said that out loud, didn't I?"_

_The scarlet faced girl could only nod shakily before passing out._

o. o. o.

Neither spoke of said incident again in fear of what Ghost would do if he overheard them.

Smart kids.

Training Naruto during her breaks was also an enlightening experience. Once she got over the part about a dozen Narutos all focusing on her, she realized that not only did she enjoy teaching, but that Naruto was actually a fairly quick learner too. Each of the clones seemed to be able to keep up with her and understand what she was trying to teach them, from table manners, to how to address different people (something he would never apply except in the most severe situations), to learning how to see underneath the underneath in conversations, something that her family does a bit too much.

It made Hinata remember that most of the teachers of the academy did not treat Naruto fairly and often did things to keep him out of the classroom when he did not do anything wrong. Did it have to do with why Naruto changed recently? She really should ask Shikamaru, but he has been going straight home from school lately, saying something about how pissed his mom is for being involved with that incident with Naruto two weeks earlier.

Hinata was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a commotion from one of the nearby streets. Looking around to see where she was, she paled.

This was near where Naruto lived. It didn't take a Nara to tell what was happening.

Running as fast as she could to the sounds, Hinata turned a corner to an alleyway where she saw at least thirty people, both civilians and shinobi taking turns kicking, punching and stabbing a curled up Naruto. With her Byakugan, Hinata could tell that there were a couple of jōnin in the group as well, that Naruto was awake, and that his wounds were healing at an unseen rate. Each cut he received started to disappear as soon as it was made, even more so with his bruises. Hinata knew that Naruto could heal fast, but this was something else entirely. It still didn't comfort her though, seeing as the mob was not holding back and getting even more enraged with the recovering child, witnessing their 'divine justice' disappearing within seconds. It was a wonder how Naruto could still focus enough to keep up his transformation that hid his new features while under such pain.

"The demon is growing stronger! Look! His wounds are healing faster!"

"Suffer you evil bastard!"

"Die!"

"Monster!"

Hinata didn't know what to do. She was tearing up, split between helping Naruto, but revealing to the town that they had a bond, or to keep that bond a secret and let her crush get tortured and savagely beaten.

Weighing her options, Hinata concluded to herself that she didn't care if people hated her. She was going to help her friend. Just as she was about to go into the group and try to break it up, a hand appeared on her shoulder.

"While I admire your commitment to your friend, I believe that you should sit this one out." Hinata whipped her head around to see Ghost standing right behind her, smiling sadly. "I'll take care of this. You go home. I don't want to bother with the questions that would pop up if Hiashi's daughter was helping me defend the 'demon'."

Hinata gulped. "N-No. I-I want t-to make sure that h-he's okay." She stuttered, having a momentary relapse.

Ghost sighed. "Then can you at least hide so no one knows you were here?" Hinata nodded and climbed up a fire escape, out of most people's view to watch the oncoming slaughter.

Walking towards the mob, Ghost sighed again.

_'Decisions, decisions, decisions. The brat would probably kill me if I do some permanent damage, but I need to do SOMETHING flashy. Those 50 ROOT agents fell too quickly (some elites (sarcasm)), and breaking an old man's arm just doesn't cut it. Guess I'll just kick their asses the old fashioned way and give the kids something to gawk at. Don't know why the kid got caught though. Even if he was tired, he still should have been able to get away, or at least do that hide in plain sight thing he does every so often with the transformation technique.'_

Stopping behind the nearest mob member, Ghost stopped and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Ugh?! … wha d'ya-" The obviously drunk man asked as he turned around…

… Only to get a spinning side kick in the stomach that launched the man literally though the entire mob, knocking out several assailants and sending others tumbling, and slammed against a nearby wall, slightly cracking said wall and easily getting everyone's undivided attention. Hinata's jaw dropped. Even with her activated Byakugan, Ghost's movements were almost impossible to follow, let alone notice.

Needless to say, tension was high, the volume was low, and all eyes were on the long haired man in a black trench coat and sunglasses.

"Who the fuck are you and what the hell do you think you are doing?" Growled one of the jōnin in the group while leaking out some killing intent. While the intent was pretty strong by ninja standards, Ghost merely shrugged it off like a light breeze. Hinata on the other hand was having a little trouble breathing.

Ghost shrugged. "Who I am is really of little importance to cannon fodder such as yourselves." Then he overwhelmed the jōnin's intent with his own, easily making him and others stumble back a few feet.

Hinata now couldn't breathe. She had felt her father's killing intent before when he had disciplined unruly Branch house members in front of her, as an example of what she may have to do later on in the clan. It was this reason why she could handle more killing intent then the average chūnin. But this was something else entirely. It was almost as if he wasn't human…

"As for what I am doing…" He grinned, the shadows on his face making him look somewhat demonic as he lazily pointed at the recently felled man. Hinata noticed that his canines were slightly longer than a normal person's, but shorter than an Inuzuka's.

"… I believe that I am going easy on you."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yay cliff hangers!

Anyways… the poll is still up, and this time I remembered to put it up on my profile so that you can actually vote and I will remember!

Just put up Crypt's data up a on my profile few days ago, in case you are all wondering about the psychopath and why I like him so much. The inspiration for the straight jacket trench coat stemmed from Agito from Air Gear when he first appeared… crazy little bastard.

The story will stay pre genin time for about… decent guess 5 more chapters, give or take. There will be some minor bashing for all who deserve it, but truth be told, all the characters are going to **stay** in character, meaning Sasuke won't be a COMPLETE asshole, and Sakura will get a clue… eventually.

As for jutsu, I will try and stick with those that everyone know, and type them in English unless they are better known and easier to type in Japanese, this includes the one that Ghost will eventually teach Naruto… I love this move, it makes peoples fall down (insert evil laughter).

Dead Fantasy 5. Not only great fighting… but an apparent plot as well?! Oooohhh… I'm getting all tingly!

You see that button down there? The one that says review? Please do what it says… it's been looking at me funny lately…


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 9:

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

I REPRESENT THE LOLLYPOP GUILD!

o. o. o.

Hinata could only watch in awe as Ghost took down the mob with ease. What was even more impressive than his speed and flexibility, extraordinary as they were, was that they were not forced in the slightest. Simply put, Ghost made kicking eight kinds of crap out of a mob of people, some of whom were skilled ninja, look easy. He casually walked through the crowd, his movements smooth as can be, and every fighter that entered Ghost's range was quickly and effortlessly subdued. It was beautiful, graceful, and powerful. It was not a fight, but a dance, like none she'd ever seen before.

o. o. o.

As the first group of men rushed in, Ghost stepped close to the nearest civilian of the group, locked his opponent's arm in a hold and flung him heavily into the nearest member in a single swift and smooth maneuver.

The next man, who appeared to be a chūnin, charged in from behind with the speed only a ninja had, and attempted to strike Ghost in the back of the head… only to have his arm hit nothing. Ghost, who was doing a handstand on the outstretched limb and facing him, stuck his tongue out like a child.

Leaning forward while grabbing the extended arm with his other arm, Ghost flung the man while flipping behind his back, effectively dislocating the attacker's shoulder and taking out another two members of the mob with the improvised projectile, before positioning himself in the middle of four more assailants.

"You have some decent moves." Slurred one of the four, who happened to be a jōnin. "Too bad you don't stand a chance against a trained soldier like me. Whoever you are, you made a big mistake messing with the elite of Konoha!"

The man rushed in as Ghost brushed some of his hair out of his face. "Mistake or not… no one has made me regret it yet."

The remaining members of the mob moved back to give the jōnin some room to finish off the intruder. The attacker was indeed faster than the rest of the group, and proved it by releasing a flurry of punches and kicks at Ghost at an incredible rate… only to have Ghost dance around all of them at a steady and relaxed pace. This surprised everyone due to the fact that the stranger was moving nowhere near as fast as his assailant, yet he still wasn't getting touched. Losing his patience, the man tried a sweep kick to catch Ghost off guard.

Big mistake.

While effective when applied properly, sweep kicks have a glaring weakness that, if exploited, will end the fight for the user quite painfully. When a sweep is used in full force, the user is close to the ground and extends his or her **entire** leg to achieve maximum efficiency in the blow. If the user is against an opponent who is much faster, is more experienced, and is NOT caught off guard (or any combination of the three), then they expose themselves to that weakness. A simple, well placed kick to the knee, not even a hard one, can completely shatter the knee joint of the user if timed right.

Unfortunately for the inebriated jōnin, Ghost is very experienced, is almost NEVER caught off guard in a fight he actually pays attention to, and… well, to say that Ghost is fast is like saying Jiraiya is only somewhat attracted to women and has a small ego. Not that he needed to be that fast or attentive for this opponent.

So, as the man's leg extended in full force, Ghost merely pivoted on his left foot and back kicked with his right, nailing the man's exposed knee without missing a beat, twirling in a circle with his coat and hair flying around him.

The end result was a crying jōnin, on the ground with his knee going entirely the wrong way. Jōnin or not, he wasn't getting back up after that.

"So much for 'elite'." Ghost muttered in a disappointed tone.

One particularly brave/stupid chūnin then decided to rush Ghost from the side with his katana held overhead. Just as he was starting to swing downward, Ghost quickly but without much effort shuffled inside the strike range and kicked out his closest leg so that his foot nailed the bottom of the hilt, which was still above the assailant's head. The blade flew straight out of the man's hands and imbedded itself in one of the nearby buildings. Using his momentum and without missing a beat, Ghost hopped and spun his body in midair before slamming his other foot into the man's gut, sending him flying and taking out another couple of civilians before landing on the leg he'd used to kick the sword.

The rest of the mob was starting to get unnerved. The stranger had taken out a jōnin and a kenjutsu-focused chūnin in a matter of seconds with barely any effort, and was still completely untouched.

The other jōnin, the one who'd initially tried to intimidate Ghost, was a bit pissed, partially because Ghost had interrupted his good time, partially because of the booze in his system, and partially because he was making a fool out of everyone there. It was because of this rage that he started to do some hand signs for a large scale fire style attack.

In his rage, he'd neglected to notice that he was the closest to the street entrance, and thus everyone else in the alleyway was subject to his attack.

Ghost whipped his head around just as the enraged drunk called out his attack.

" **Fire style: Fire Dragon Bullet**!" A huge red fire dragon erupted from the man's mouth and charged its way down the alley. It was about to take its first few victims when Ghost intervened.

"You stupid fucker." He muttered as he practically warped in front of the inferno and raised his right arm towards the attack in a 'stop' motion, his fingers in a claw like gesture. Almost instantly, the fire fizzled and dissipated. The only evidence that the attack had even existed was the slightly raised temperature and scorch marks where the fire had briefly touched.

Everyone still conscious gaped at the man. He had literally single handedly stopped an A-rank fire ninjutsu without a scratch.

Before anyone could recover from the shock, Ghost appeared behind the dangerous drunk and knocked him out with a chop to the back of the head. As the man's body landed unceremoniously to the ground, Ghost raised his killing intent to keep the remaining assailants' attention on him, and not on the semi-conscious blonde lying on the ground on the other side of the alley.

"These people here have gone against the Third's decree and spoke of that which is forbidden," He said to the darkness inside the alley. "While I would enjoy carrying out their punishment, I believe that Ibiki would be more proficient at it. Would you be so kind as to escort these people to him?"

As he asked the question, several squads of ANBU appeared from the shadows. One of them, who appeared to be the leader, stepped toward Ghost and nodded his head, then signaled for his men to "escort" the mob members to prison, or the hospital.

Turning his attention back to Ghost, the man, whose mask resembled a bear, analyzed the person in front of him.

"You are… Ghost?" He asked after a couple of minutes.

"Zzzzzzzzz…" Ghost's head tilted to the side as a snot bubble formed.

The man sweat dropped. "Apparently so." He muttered.

"Oi, Ero-nii!" voiced a rather tired and irritated Naruto, who was still on the ground where he'd been left. Bear sweat dropped again. "I could use a little help here. You know, with the savage beatings and all. Even with my faster healing, I'm not going anywhere by myself anytime soon."

The snot bubble popped. "Eh? Oh! Kid! Sure, sorry." He chuckled.

As he walked past the ANBU, he whispered. "The girl was never here. The old man will agree with me."

The ANBU made no motion that he had heard what Ghost had said as the man bent down to support Naruto.

"Damn, you suck." Ghost laughed with no pity in his voice whatsoever. "I thought you would be good at running away, with all your pranks and being chased by ninja and all."

Naruto glared at Ghost as he helped him up. "Yeah, well, it would have been easier if I was actually fully rested and didn't have an additional couple dozen or so kilos slowing me down. It didn't help that some of those guys were jōnin either. Otherwise, I could have just transformed myself into something and tricked them."

Ghost stopped. "Right, transform… that reminds me." He turned around to the ANBU, who were just about to leave with the prisoners. Naruto looked at him confused. He would have asked something, but being beaten to (almost) death kind of took the energy out of him.

"Oi! Bear-kun!" Ghost called out in a rather childish tone. Said ANBU turned around, mildly irritated at the man.

"Yes?" he replied in a monotone voice.

Ghost continued his odd behavior by prancing up to the man like a small girl, making the situation even more awkward. "I was just wondering … the transformation technique … it merely makes you look like what you transform into, right? It can't make you weigh less or actually change your physical shape?"

Said ANBU was starting to lose his temper, and he was pretty sure that some of his subordinates were chuckling that their boss was asked an academy level question by a full grown man. "Yes." He replied in a rather strained tone. "The transformation technique is an E-rank genjutsu that the user casts over themselves to look like something else. Their physical makeup is not changed at all, I assure you … though I am somewhat disappointed that you did not know of this already."

"Awww…" Ghost moaned like a child… but Bear could tell that he was secretly happy for some reason. He also noticed that Naruto was surprised about something as well, judging by how much his eyes had widened.

"Is that all Ghost-san?" Bear asked, hoping that Ghost says yes, but confused at the awkward question as well.

Ghost went back to normal. "Yep! I'll make sure the kid is all right and that nothing was… damaged before I take him home." Bear winced, knowing that he was referring to the seal. All captain ranked ANBU had been informed that Ghost had fixed the Kyūbi's seal and that he knew more about it than anyone else in the village. They were given specific orders to not interfere with whatever he was doing, but to take note of what he did do at the time if they happened across him, having been told that he was a very… unique individual. While to many the order didn't make sense, to the most experienced members the order raised warnings galore. The only reason that an order like that would be given was if the target was extremely good at detecting presences around him, was very proficient in battle, and held sensitive information that could not be risked. Seeing the ending of the man's fight and noting that the man acted as if he knew that the ANBU were there, Bear had no doubt that Ghost had more information on his tongue than just the Kyūbi, which in itself was pretty big.

"Just…" Naruto mumbled, getting both men's attention. "Just make sure they don't die." He breathed out. "They don't know any better… and killing them would only… bring more pain and pointless fighting… and make more people blame me…"

Ghost smirked as Bear did a double take. He knew that Naruto's eyes were different, the slits were proof of that… but there was something else. Something that shouldn't be in a twelve year old's eyes, demon or not…

Bear turned away and walked back towards his group. "We will see what happens… Uzumaki-san."

"Personally, I like pointless fighting. It's more fun when you're just beating the shit out of someone who can, and is, fighting back for the hell of it. What I don't understand is why people always assume that fighting equals death, or suffering, or blah blah blah…" Ghost rambled to himself more to anyone else.

With that, Bear disappeared into the shadows and his squads took the remaining mob members to their respective destinations.

"Hinata." Ghost spoke in a calm and mature tone, immediately catching Naruto's attention as he turned to her hiding place. He long since learned that when Ghost was serious, you should listen, or else. "Go home and don't speak of this incident. Pretend that nothing has happened. I will answer as many questions as I can the next time we train. Okay?"

Hinata had just climbed down from her hiding spot, still shivering slightly from the spectacle that she had just seen. "Y-Yes, b-but will you be alr-right N-Naruto-kun?" Her stutter was back in full swing apparently.

Naruto chuckled. "It's okay Hinata-chan." Hinata blushed. "This crazy bastard is more dependable than he looks. You've already seen that."

Naruto was also musing to himself about the recent brawl. It was completely one-sided. Even if a good portion of the mob was drunk, it shouldn't have been that easy for a single person to take out so many people with their bare hands and walk away not only without a scratch, but without even breaking a sweat. The more he stayed around Ghost, the more he realized that this guy would make him stronger than he would ever hope to be.

_'He wasn't even moving that fast until the end…'_

"Don't forget to train a little before you go to bed to get your body used to the seal." Ghost said as he held/dragged Naruto to his apartment a few blocks away. Hinata nodded and made her way home.

That night, she vowed to herself that she would truly become strong. If Naruto could take such beatings and tortures and walk away from them smiling, then there should be no reason why she shouldn't be able to at least handle the crap from her family.

Hinata promised herself that she would keep Naruto's secrets to herself until the time was right. She promised that she would not wallow in her own self-pity when there were others in far worse situations that were actually doing something about it. She would help Naruto become Hokage, and she would unite her clan to prevent the suffering that was hidden from the masses. Let the elders think she was weak. They were a bunch of old fools who could not even see what was under their nose, blinded by their arrogance and complacency. Ghost and Naruto both said that she was strong, and Hinata was determined to prove them right.

o. o. o.

Entering the rundown apartment, Ghost sighed. After setting Naruto down on his couch, Ghost set up a couple of instant ramen noodles for them both. Normally they would have something a little more healthy for dinner, both to practice their cooking skills and to have something qualitative in their diet, but at the moment, neither one wanted to bother with anything requiring more than three steps to make.

"So…" Naruto mumbled after his third cup. "That thing you asked the ANBU about my transformation… how did you know and why are you so interested?"

"Slurp" Ghost sounded off as he finished his second cup. "Well, I wanted to test something out… and I had a small theory based around your transformation." Getting up, Ghost went to get another cup for himself. "How I know is related to how I know everything else in your world… which is to say I'm not saying jack until the time is right or unless it is absolutely necessary."

Naruto sighed in defeat. This wasn't the first time he'd tried to get Ghost to tell him how he knew so much about his world and chakra without ever being here before, but Ghost would simply change the conversation, disappear, or start throwing things at the blonde to avoid answering the question.

"Your transformation is more useful than you think. Sure, you can hide with it, but you can actually transform your body into whatever you want, within some limits." He poured the water into the cup. "Think of the time you screwed over Zabuza. You turned yourself into a windmill shuriken and the emo threw you at whatever speed at him like a weapon. Then you warped back and blindsided him with a kunai."

"I still don't see where you are going with this." Naruto commented, now sitting upright. "Another cup?" He asked.

"Sure." Ghost mumbled. "The point is, you can turn yourself into literally anything and put it to an almost infinite number of uses. You need to apply this kind of thinking to everything else you know how to do. For example, have you ever attempted to transform your clones into weapons and then using them to do some sort of multi-stage sneak attack?"

Naruto paused for a good ten seconds before slapping himself in the face very hard repeatedly. Sure, he had tricked several opponents into thinking that one of his clones was himself, but actually transforming a clone to lay down a trap while the enemy was distracted? Why didn't he think of that before!

"Also, what's stopping you from throwing your replacement in the mix as well? Like, I dunno, making a crapton of clones and turning them into rocks, like you did with Pain, and simply doing constant replacements to annoy and frustrate your opponent before bombarding them from all sides. Or how about replacing yourself with a clone that's transformed to look like a damaged log to catch your opponent off guard after they 'hit' you with a big strike, then transforming back once they start searching for the real you. Better yet, ignore the clone, replace with the log, and then replace back before he even notices and nail them in the face. I don't see why you don't practice replacement more often. It frustrates most ninja to no end, even if it's only pulled off once. The point is, you have the mind and the tools to pull off some genius stunts. Don't rely solely on shadow clones to mess around with people. Throw in other things occasionally. You may have Rasengan for now, but that requires you to get up close and get a solid hit in for it to actually work. The more ways you can come up with to irritate your opponent, the angrier they'll get and the more mistakes they'll make, which in turn makes it easier to nail them." Ghost poured water into Naruto's fourth cup while he took a few bites himself.

"As for your transformation, replacement, and Rasengan in particular, we are going to push those to the limits. When I am done with you, you should be able to transform into something as small as a kunai, or at least a smaller windmill shuriken. You will be able to replace yourself with more than just a simple log, and perform it in rapid succession. And for god's sake, you WILL learn how to do a one-handed Rasengan with either hand, or both at the same time and be able to make them within a fraction of a second. I will not let you have a glaring weakness like requiring a clone in order to perform a technique that you should be able to do just as easily with only one hand. It astounds me that Jiraiya never got you to fix that bad habit. It did allow you to complete the Rasenshuriken, though, so I guess something good did come out of it, but now it's just holding you back."

Naruto's jaw was practically touching the floor. He had so much potential with what he already knew, and he'd never realized it? How could he have been so… never mind, he already knew why. "So… I'll be able to do all this by the end of the three months?"

Ghost chuckled evilly, scaring the time traveler greatly. "Three months? Kid, all that is your goal for the end of the first month. After that, I have some new tricks to teach you that will make you a powerhouse. By the time Mr. I-like-to-lick-my-face invades with his forces, you should be able to perform the special technique I am recreating for you, Sage Mode, Rasenshuriken, and several other moves that will come our way. I am even thinking of starting you on your second elemental mastery training at some point if possible. Before you say anything, you are going to be learning Earth style."

"WHAT!" Naruto exploded. "Why Earth?! It's boring! All you do is throw rocks. Why not Fire or Lightning, or at least Water? I could do something cool with those elements and…"

WHAM. Ghost pounded the injured Naruto on the head with no remorse, then handed him his ramen.

"What the hell!" The blonde shouted.

"The moves that Earth element can provide you with will make you a monster on the battlefield and matches your style perfectly, dumbass." Ghost said irritably. "Think underneath the underneath. Think about how you fight and take down your opponents. You already **have** an element that gives you plenty of powerful and flashy attacks. You simply haven't learned them yet. Hell, the only wind element attacks you know are the ones you've made yourself, and those are for ending fights hands down, not prolonged battles. The point of teaching you Earth is to give you the moves that will control the battlefield, trick your opponents more, and defend. As long as you have Wind, you already have offense covered. Think about it. What is more surprising than being attacked from under your feet, or creating a giant stone wall that will prevent your opponents from seeing what you're doing behind it? You have already proven that you can hit hard and be tricky. This will help you defend yourself, control the battlefield, and be even more difficult to deal with or catch. Besides, you're noticeable enough as it is."

Naruto sighed as he looked at his ramen. Why did Ghost have to be right all the time? Oh sure, he's over 2500 years old and has battle experience up the ass, but what does that have to do with anything?

"Did I mention that there might be a slight, and by that I mean really small, chance for you to learn how to control sand if you mix wind and earth the right way?" Ghost tempted between bites.

Naruto snorted as he stared at Ghost as if he was an idiot. "Yeah right, like that could happen. You need a bloodline limit or a demon inside you to pull something like that off."

Ghost chuckled. "Kid, you are/were known as the village's number one unpredictable ninja. Not only that, but you have MY attention and guidance. You don't get that unless you have the balls to change the biggest rules, can throw logic out the window on a large scale with a smile on your face… and have something similar to a good head on your shoulders. With those things combined, you, more than anyone else on the planet right now, have the best shot at pulling this shit off."

Naruto took this in and tried desperately to hold back his emerging smile. "… Damn you, Ero-Nii. Damn you and that horrible concept called logic."

The acclaimed pervert bowed majestically. "I aim to please."

The two ate in moderate slurping silence when Naruto spoke again. "So what happened with Danzō? Did you kill him or something?"

Ghost chuckled. "Unless I scared him so bad that he had a heart attack after I left, no. I did break his good arm after taking out fifty of his men under his nose though."

Naruto frowned. "I thought you said to lay low and change as little as possible."

Ghost shrugged. "I did. Danzō didn't actually do anything of importance to my knowledge until after the pair of talking boobs became Hokage." Naruto sweat dropped. "All I did was paint a target on my forehead to divert his attention from some of his other plots and slow down his progress a bit. You don't actually think he can do anything to me and my greatness, do you?"

Naruto had a large vein on his head. "And that is good WHY?!"

Ghost sighed. "Kid, you have already seen a bit of how strong I can be, and you know that I know things that are supposed to be kept under more wraps than Danzō has on him. These things combined make me a serious threat to Danzō. Serious enough that he can't ignore me, period. Once I showed him a bit of both, he understood his place pretty quickly. As far as he's concerned, there's an invisible shield around me and my 'projects' that Danzō can't afford to breach. Despite being a power hungry psychopath, the idiot is still obsessed with this village, and I made it clear that if I think he is tampering in things that have my name on it, village secrets will start to fly."

Naruto gaped. "You wouldn't…"

"Starting with his." Ghost interrupted.

"Ah." Naruto deadpanned.

Slurp.

"Oh, yeah. What was that other thing that Kaiten did that normal Jūken didn't do?" Naruto asked.

"Area of effect." Ghost barely mumbled as he gulped down the rest of his third cup and got up for his fourth.

"Area of effect?" Naruto echoed curiously.

"Yeah, area. Think about it. **Kaiten** covers the entire area around the user's body in all directions, and extends a couple meters out too. Technically, that **8 Trigrams 64 Palms** move has range as well, with that 'range of divination' bull crap, but that's not quite the same." Ghost heated up some water. "While this wouldn't really be a problem with most ninja, the Hyūga are an exception with their 'holier-than-thou' attitude towards their clan techniques. See, almost all of their techniques, while quite powerful, are only effective at close range, and their beliefs restrict them from learning normal ninjutsu aside from the academy three, or even frequent use of most ninja weapons like kunai and shuriken. They use them occasionally, sure, but the point is that they purposefully stop themselves from changing anything, which prevents them from covering several glaring weak points in their style. For example, an opponent that specializes in high powered mid- or long-ranged combat will beat the living crap out of a Hyūga as long as they keep their distance and fight smart. Same thing goes if a Hyūga is surrounded by several enemies and is bombarded constantly by attacks. Even with Kaiten, the Hyūga would only last so long, and you have to remember that Kaiten itself is only taught to Main house members. Neji simply recreated it from scratch." He grunted as he started to stretch. "I seem to recall that the Hyūga do have one mid-range attack and it's pretty powerful, but it's only the size of a large-ish Rasengan and it has limited range. Plus, the charge time on it is relatively long, so it can't be used quickly or easily." Ghost poured water into the cup. "The end result is a style that, while powerful, has several seriously limiting weak points, and few ways to cover said points that will be accepted due to the Hyūga clan tradition."

"So… you're using Rasengan as a way to help Hinata-chan get around these weaknesses by teaching her new ways to manipulate her chakra?" Naruto asked, slowly putting the pieces together in his head.

The long haired man nodded. "Yeah, the point of teaching her Rasengan is not to teach her Rasengan, but to familiarize herself with each of the steps and incorporate them into her Jūken. After she masters each step with both hands at the same time, she will have to make up a way to incorporate it into her style or make a technique using what she learned before she can learn the next step. Learning Rasengan itself will merely provide her with a move that will stand up to something large and destructive that cannot be taken down by a jūken strike or a Kaiten, which takes more chakra to perform than Rasengan anyway." Ghost started eating his ramen. "Munch. By the time Hinata has mastered Rasengan, she will already have a drastically more efficient and likely ranged form of Jūken that will make her far more dangerous on the battlefield than most of her clan."

Naruto could only gape at the explanation. His signature move was that useful? Hinata could become that much more powerful? Despite the fact that Ghost was yet another pervert, Naruto could not help but admire the man for his ingenuity and creativity. He still wanted to know how Ghost had obtained so much information in the first place, though.

Suddenly there was knocking at the door. Groaning, Ghost got back up and walked to the main entrance with ramen in hand and lazily opened the door. Behind it was an ANBU wearing a pig mask who looked like he was there to deliver a message.

"We don't want anything you're selling. Leave me alone, you silly pig nacho thing, and for the last time that night was a mistake. LEAVE ME ALONE!" Ghost drawled in a semi drunk tone and shut the door before the ANBU could say anything.

Naruto could only burst out laughing at what just occurred. The sheer stupidity of what he witnessed was why he put up with Ghost in the first place. As long as the guy wasn't messing with you in particular, he was a riot. Sure, it still hurt to laugh at the moment, with several semi broken ribs, a fractured arm and a now bruised collar bone, but hey, laughter is the greatest medicine.

As the door sounded again, Ghost sighed and opened it once more.

"Oh ANBU-san!" Ghost spoke in a cheerful and peppy tone, which was unusual (and annoying) this late at night. "What brings you here at this time?"

Though he was wearing a mask, Ghost could tell that the pig faced ANBU was twitching uncontrollably. "Ghost-san, Hokage-sama and the council request your presence to cover what occurred earlier this night."

"…I see. The senior citizen squad requested me and not the kid? Seems a bit rude, don't you think?" Ghost questioned almost innocently.

"I am merely relaying the message Ghost-san." The ANBU replied stiffly. "If you have any questions, you will have to ask the council yourself. I am here to escort you to the meeting room. You do not have to worry about the… boy's safety. There is a squad watching the complex in case another mob appears."

Ghost paused. "Sure… hold on a sec." He entered the room again and closed the door. "I might be a while." He whispered to Naruto while setting up another cup of ramen for the trip, despite the fact he was still in the middle of his fourth. "This would be a good time to practice focusing your healing powers on your wounds. After you do enough healing…meditate till I get back." Ghost stressed. Meditate was their code word for Naruto to practice Sage Mode.

The time traveling boy had been practicing absorbing natural energy again after he had shown that he could train comfortably with 900 clones earlier that week. Apparently Ghost could detect natural energy to some degree and had found the wavelength that could expel excess energy from the body if needed, removing Naruto's fear of becoming a statue. His fear unwarranted though, as he could apparently enter Sage Mode comfortably without any issues on his first try… much to Ghost's displeasure, who was holding a big stick over his head in giddy anticipation… one with lots of nails in it…

While it would be bad if word got out that Naruto could use the sage arts, the fact that Ghost telling him to do so meant that someone might pull something while he was gone. While Sage Mode would definitely help out in a large fight, Naruto was using it here so that he wouldn't get caught off guard. Luckily, few people knew what sage arts were and how to identify a true Sage except for some of the older members of the clan council, who would conveniently be occupied with Ghost for the near future.

Naruto nodded and assumed his meditating position as Ghost walked out the door.

o. o. o.

By the time Ghost entered the main chamber, the ANBU leading him was about to snap. Sarutobi could tell by how the man's hand kept on twitching towards his kunai pouch. The old man sighed as Ghost walked in, slurping his cup of ramen loudly in front of the entire council.

Needless to say, the members who had yet to encounter the man were not impressed by Ghost's appearance. His casual demeanor and manner of dress did nothing to give a good first impression, though the women in the council were somewhat interested in who had made his black trench coat. It looked as if it was made of extremely high quality materials.

Hiashi mentally deadpanned, wondering how this meeting was going to end up. Danzō, who had his 'good' arm in a cast and had just barely managed to get to the chambers on time, was scowling at the youth. He knew that any form of plotting against him at the moment would be extremely ill advised, and the knowledge irritated him immensely.

Sarutobi just wanted to go to bed and get rid of this horrible - and soon to be massive - headache he's had all day.

"So this is him?" Asked a portly man from the civilian side. "This is the brat that defended that… monster?" He spat out.

Ghost, who was still looking around for a seat and eating ramen turned to Sarutobi with an eyebrow raised and munching loudly.

The Hokage sighed, getting the double message. "ANBU …" Everyone in the room froze, "… please bring out a chair for our guest." The civilian council let out a breath of relief. Sarutobi then turned to the council member and gave him a nasty look. "And I expect that our council members should be more careful about what they say, lest they break any RULES." he stressed. The fat man shrank in his seat as Ghost sat down.

"I thought we agreed that I would be kept out of sight so that I wouldn't be put up on display like some cheap carnival prize." Ghost muttered to the old man so that no one could hear him before taking another bite of ramen.

"I apologize, but given the circumstances this was the best option. Otherwise, the culprits would be set free, and Naruto would be held accountable for their injuries by the 'wise' council." Sarutobi grumbled back.

Swallowing the cheap noodles in his mouth, Ghost turned to the council. "Sooooo…" He started out slowly and loudly, causing everyone within hearing range to start to twitch their eyebrows. "I guess this is about me kicking ass and taking names earlier today, old man?" He asked like a child.

Several jaws dropped. "You insolent commoner!" Shrieked a councilwoman. "Address Hokage-sama with the proper respect!"

"Why?" Ghost asked casually, shocking more people in the room. "Old man is faster and easier to say. Plus I think he would get tired of being called Hokage-sama all the damn time. Give him some breathing room. Too much formality will only make you age faster."

_'Which is why you are over 2 millennia old and still look like you are twenty.'_ Said old man thought irritably.

"ENOUGH!" Sarutobi roared, silencing everyone in the room. "We did not come here to chat about my old age or how to address me in front of others!" Ghost snorted and chuckled, tempting the old man to throttle the culprit right then and there. "We were assembled to discuss what happened earlier tonight regarding several of our ninja, civilians and Naruto Uzumaki. Ghost here is our only witness to the incident who is not incarcerated, in the hospital, or too injured to arrive in person." Sarutobi looked at Ghost, silently agreeing with him about Hinata. They both noticed that some members of the council were smirking. To Ghost's personal relief, the major clans were not among them.

"Yeah, I know, it's so weird." Ghost said in a mystified voice. "Normally I'm the one completely maimed and everyone else is perfectly fine…" Several people in the people stared at the youth as if he was mentally challenged.

The Hokage ignored Ghost and continued. "What we know is that several hours ago, young Naruto was walking home alone after dark when he was ambushed by an angry mob consisting of both civilians and ninja near his apartment building. The boy managed to run several blocks before he was caught in a dead end alley. The mob then proceeded to beat and torture him for half an hour to forty five minutes before Ghost here…" Sarutobi nodded in his direction. "arrived and… distracted the mob until ANBU came."

"Distracted?" asked Inoichi.

"He means I beat the living daylights out of them in a very flashy manner. Wasn't that hard really." Ghost said, before going back to his meal. Many council members sweat dropped.

"It says here," spoke a civilian council woman looking at a paper in front of her, "That you subdued eleven civilians, four chūnin, and two jōnin in roughly ten minutes. Can you confirm this?" She asked skeptically.

"Mmmm." Ghost thought to himself in a disinterested tone. "Yeah, sounds about right. I wasn't really trying, so it took longer than it should've." The council members were dumbstruck. Four chūnin and two jōnin in ten minutes? And he wasn't really trying?! "Although most of them were pretty wasted at the time, which would explain why that one idiot blasted that fire dragon technique down the alleyway." Sarutobi could tell that Ghost was just playing with everyone there. And judging by the looks of the shinobi side of the council, it was working.

There were several sounds of shuffling paper for the next few seconds. "You must be lying…" One member growled. "There were no cases of burn victims from those arrested."

"Yeah, 'cause I stopped the jutsu before it could burn anyone, smart one." Ghost irritably replied as he finished off the ramen cup. "Where's the garbage?" He asked the Hokage.

Sweat dropping, Sarutobi pointed to a trash can in the corner of the room closest to Ghost.

"Thanks." he said as he got up and threw away the trash, completely ignoring the angry old people behind him.

"How?" Tsume Inuzuka asked.

"How what?" Ghost replied, getting back into his seat.

"How did you stop the jutsu of course, you pup!" The feral woman growled. "According to these reports, you have virtually no previous training as a shinobi or knowledge of how to use chakra. So how did you stop an A-rank offensive jutsu without any casualties or burns!?"

"Oh! That's easy." Ghost replied happily. "I simply stopped the attack with my special powers!" The council members were all focusing on Ghost, most thinking about a new bloodline limit and how to exploit it.

"AND?" Tsume asked, having her patience being thoroughly tested.

"And what?" Ghost asked innocently, tilting his head to one side. The entire council face faulted. Mentally, Ghost was laughing his ass off. This was waaaay too easy.

"She means to ask what your powers are." Groaned a very tired Sarutobi, pre-empting a very irritated Haruno before she had a chance to destroy everyone's hearing. As he watched, several council members were holding back Tsume before she killed Ghost, and barely succeeding.

"Oh, that." Ghost replied, noticing that the rest of the council was about to snap. "Sorry. No can do. I'm not telling any of you about my powers." The council exploded again. Ghost was wondering at this point if he could keep on doing this until the more annoying ones would lose their voices. It sounded like an amusing game.

"You insolent little commoner!"

"How dare you…!"

"Blah blah blah Ronald Regan in a shoe store!" was pretty much all Ghost heard.

"You know." He started off, getting everyone's attention. "You guys." He pointed to all the ninja clans. "Have clan secrets, powers, weaknesses," Hiashi twitched, luckily not noticed by anyone "And other stuff that you don't want to get out to the public. Why should I give out my personal secrets for free? It's pretty obvious that I've made some enemies that want to kill me through the years," Several members of the council nodded in agreement to that. "And it seems pretty stupid to let everyone know what I can do just to satisfy a petty curiosity. I assumed that being ninja you would know this."

Sarutobi observed the council's reaction with some interest. A comment like that was sure to cause some interesting results. While the civilian side of the council was still seething at being so abruptly blocked, the shinobi clans were starting to take more interest in the young man in front of them. They realized that he was playing most of the council like fools on purpose ( … kind of) in order to get a better reading on them, seeing that he'd just proved that he was more intelligent than he acted … not that that was difficult, sometimes. He was right in his assumption that all the clans had secrets that they did not want to be known by others, and he used that logic to protect himself, using their own field experience to lend support to his argument.

He had discretely claimed that he was like them without giving himself away to the civilian section of the council. By doing so, he had taken his first step towards gaining their support for future decisions and changes. After all, the only people sneaky and secretive types actually trust are other sneaky and secretive types… for some strange reason…

They saw that he was far more cunning than he first appeared to be, and if the reports and the man's testimony were accurate, he was stronger than he looked as well. Altogether, there was a chorus of mumbling and grunts between council members.

Shikaku spoke first, surprising many in the room. "The way you are dressed, you wouldn't happen to be that man that fixed the Kyūbi's seal several weeks ago, would you?" This had everyone's attention. They of course were informed that an oddly dressed stranger with odd abilities had been asked by the Toad Sage to fix the seal, but they were never given any more information than that.

That, and if Shikaku was wrong, he had just written his death sentence by talking about the Kyūbi to an apparent stranger. Seeing the Nara pull such a radical stunt could only mean that he was 100% certain that this man was the one that fixed the seal.

Ghost turned to the scarred man and raised his eyebrows. "…Shikamaru? What the hell did you eat these past two weeks? And what's with those scars? Did you pick a fight with a den of bears unarmed and lose or something, 'cause I saw that happen to someone, and let me tell you that's exactly what he looked like afterwards…"

The other two members of the Ino-Shika-Cho group chuckled. "I'm his father, Shikaku Nara."

"Whoa." Ghost commented, his eyebrows raised. "Kid's gonna be a lady killer when he hits puberty. Women love the wild look." Previous group members minus Shikaku were laughing without remorse at this point. Chōza nearly broke his desk due to hitting it so hard. Ghost assumed that the heavy laughter was related somehow to the Nara's 'luck' with 'troublesome' women.

"Can you please just answer my question?" Shikaku asked rather irritably.

"Sure." Ghost replied. "Yeah, I'm the one who fixed the seal. Even though the kid's body is used to it now, the seal itself still isn't completely stable yet. If my brother was working on this, the kid would be all done by now and have a few extra bits added to the seal, but I'm nowhere near his level…" Ghost started drifting off, mumbling about crazy bastards, blood rituals… and ping pong. This got a lot of attention, and the room was dead quiet as Ghost got back on topic. "The reason why I'm taking care of him now is so that everything settles down properly. What happens afterwards is up to me and the kid. He's actually interesting to be around once you get to know him." Several of the more … bigoted members scowled.

"Technically, if that mob had been hitting the wrong spots on the kid in the wrong order, the seal would have ruptured and old big, furry and rabid would come out to play again." Several people in the room looked like they were about to soil themselves. "I didn't want that obviously, so when I saw the kid getting mauled on by a bunch of drunks I simply stepped in and drew their attention until the ANBU got their asses in gear."

Hiashi was staring at Ghost, trying to get a reading from his body language to see if there was something else to this story that he was hiding. Surprisingly, or not considering that this was Ghost, despite the somewhat grandiose gestures he made while explaining himself, Hiashi could not get anything off the youth. No lies, but no truths either.

"How… how long will it take for the seal to stabilize again?" Inoichi asked, slightly unnerved.

"Well." Ghost put up a thoughtful look. "Initially it was supposed to take about three months for everything to set properly. HOWEVER…" he continued, enjoying the effects of this last word.

"However, due to this latest incident I cannot be absolutely sure, but I think the setting just got delayed another two months. Unfortunately, I have already made arrangements to leave after three months that cannot be rescheduled." The reaction was immediate, loud, and predictable.

_'Muahahaha! Dance puppets DANCE!'_

"NO! YOU MUST NOT LEAVE US WITH SUCH A DANGER!" Shouted one hysteric councilman.

"THAT BEAST WOULD KILL US IN OUR SLEEP!" Shouted a sweating woman.

"QUICKLY, WE MUST KILL IT BEFORE IT ESCAPES!" Another unstable member shrieked.

"SILENCE!" Shouted Sarutobi, his rage fueled by Ghost, the council, and the massive headache he had been dealing with all day. He raised his killing intent to enforce his command as the people in front of him flinched. Several of the ninja noticed that Ghost did not seem fazed by this in the least and appeared to be bored, evident by the pinkie digging for gold in his left ear.

On the inside though, Sarutobi was laughing his ass off.

_'First he irritates them to no end to make them lose control of their emotions, then drops the bomb that something could still go wrong with the seal, putting them on the verge of hysteria with little chance of mental recovery in the near future. Then he tells them that he might not be there to ensure that the seal is properly fixed, driving them mad with fear of the fox potentially coming out and making them beg him for the answer, effectively making them hang on his every word like he's a messenger of god. He's reversed the positions of power completely. Cunning little bastard.'_

"I do not believe that Ghost here would be so relaxed about the present situation if he did not have some sort of plan on how to deal with it." The old man growled.

"Plan?" Ghost asked Sarutobi, causing several members of the council to whiten drastically. Sarutobi started to twitch violently, trying to hold back his well disguised laughter.

"Oh yes! The backup plan for demon containers in mentally handicapped villages that seem to like to hurt innocent children! That plan! HAHAHA!" Many in the room flinched in guilt while others furrowed their eyebrows.

"Well." Ghost started, putting on a thoughtful face. "There are really only two options for this kind of situation. The first is to take the kid with me on my business out of town, which will take a few months." There was some grumbling among the council as they heard their first option. While they did not like the child, allowing a potential - if dangerous - asset of the village in the care of an outsider did not sit well with them either.

"The second is I can leave by myself after the three months and place the kid in the care of someone who can protect him effectively and has a decent understanding of seals so that I can give them instructions on how to manage the settling process. In this case, I would expect the ANBU here to actually do their job while the kid is wandering around town for once." Ghost shot an accusing look at Sarutobi as several council members looked at him curiously. "Naruto's told me that the only place he gets assaulted these days is in the village. Shocking." Ghost explained, directing the unspoken insult to the council. Many of them growled at the young man.

"Since he will still be doing some recuperative training as well as going to the academy, I suggest someone who will most likely be a jōnin-sensei this upcoming graduation. A strong one at that, just in case another mob decides to show up, and one who will not be biased against him for what he holds. Either way, I would be back in town after about three months after I leave, and I plan to stay in town for a while after that." Ghost smirked, and Danzo knew what the hidden message to him was. _"Try anything, and your ass is grass."_

Ghost turned to Sarutobi. "Old man, to be perfectly honest, the second seems like the most logical choice. I can't be sure that I would be back in time for the kid to take the graduation test, and I noticed that the seal is set to weaken slightly if the kid experiences extreme emotional strain, so gambling on whether we make it back on time or not is not worth the risk." Many faces in the council paled at this comment. "Do you have any recommendations for the kid's keeper while I'm gone?"

Mentally sighing to himself, the old Hokage got the hint loud and clear. "I believe so, Ghost. So. What you are asking for is a jōnin instructor with plenty of battle experience, with strength and sealing capability to match, who does not hate the boy for his burden. Sigh. If I recall correctly, the only person that truly fits the bill is Kakashi Hatake, otherwise known as the Copy Ninja."

The council blew up… yet again. This time though, Ghost saw that some of the members were rubbing their throats occasionally and having trouble speaking more than a few words. The intensity of the arguments and yelling against the suggestion were also noticeably weaker than earlier in the meeting. (A/N: Not going to bother with what they say, it's just bull crap)

After the room got quiet again… and Sarutobi woke Ghost, Ghost spoke up, still half asleep. How he'd managed to fall asleep with so much noise was beyond even Shikaku.

"Eh? Copy Ninja Kakashi? I heard of him. Tall guy… warped silver hair, headband covering one eye, always seen reading Jiraiya's books and giggling like a little girl?"

Sarutobi sweat dropped as he nodded.

Ghost grinned. "Yeah, he'll do."

The Hokage sighed once again, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "If there are any more questions for our guest that you believe he will answer, please ask him now. I believe I speak for all of us when I say it is late and I wish to go to bed. It is clear that the people in custody went against the rules of the village and are to receive an appropriate punishment." Several people in the room grumbled in reluctant agreement.

Under normal circumstances, the meeting would go far longer than this, due to the severity of the seal and the management of the far from pleasant attitude and demeanor of the new man. However, the council was reluctant to admit that they needed him, and could only question him so much. Seal masters were extremely rare, and ones at this man's level were about as common as seeing an Aburame take off their glasses in public… or Kakashi's face.

"Actually…" Ghost spoke. "I have a question myself." This had everyone's attention in the room. "I was wondering if my family and I may eventually establish a home or shop here in the village. Preferably somewhere on the outskirts, as we tend to be a bit… loud during the night."

"Your family?" Tsume asked, curiously.

"Yeah, my family. My grandfather, my sister, and my two brothers will move in at first, then various cousins and distant relatives will occasionally rotate in or out. We aren't related by blood outside of the main group, but we are all close enough to be considered family. We could provide a wide range of services and we already have places set up in various locations. For now it's just me, so there won't be any need for any major deals yet. They will however be here eventually to check out Konoha, probably in about a year. This place has always been seen as a potential business hotspot for us."

"Tell me," Danzō asked, knowing that he was on thin ice at the moment. "Does the rest of your… family have powers like yours?" Many eyes focused on Ghost at this comment.

Ghost chuckled. "If you mean 'do we have a bloodline limit', then no. All of us do have powers, but each power, as well as our personal traits are different and unique to ourselves. These powers are not genetic, nor can they be taught in their entirety, so trying to force us to marry so that you can have a bunch of super babies and tie us down to the village is pointless. Besides, if you tried that on any of my siblings, they would torture you in excruciatingly painful ways, rules and status be damned." Ghost shivered. Several of the council members and Danzō frowned at this.

"We will however," Ghost continued, gaining their attention. "Provide our services under the label of mercenaries and do missions for you guys for reduced pay as long as we get a few small benefits out of it. We are experienced in a wide range of fields, so there should always be something for us to be working on if needed."

This had everyone's attention.

"Benefits?" Sarutobi asked.

"Yeah, you know, the home, getting to teach whoever we want, learning how to manipulate chakra and a few jutsu here and there so we can blend in more, temporary admittance into Konoha's ranks, preferably as elite jōnin, the right to turn down any mission we want if it clashes with our personal morals, access to a few secret documents…"

"WHAT!" Several people yelled. Some more voices were lost.

"With the Old Man's permission of course, and your confirmation that you acknowledge that if you guys try to screw us over, we can and will fight back, which will more than likely result in massive property damage. Particularly if one of my brothers is involved." This last comment sent shivers down the spines of those who had encountered Ghost before and knew his threat was to be taken seriously.

"What about clan status?" Shibi Aburame asked, making his voice heard for once.

"Meh." Ghost shrugged. "Only if you guys want to. It doesn't really matter to us either way. Formalities and politics don't really agree with most of us. As long as we have our stuff, our home, our business, and our privacy, we're pretty much good."

"How do we know," began Homura in a judgmental tone, "That you will not leak village secrets to other villages and betray us?"

"Well, that's really up to you." Ghost said, confusing some members.

"We consider ourselves professionals in what we do, which includes the information trade. What that means is that as long as our respective contracts are upheld and we are not being swindled or taken advantage of in any manner, we will maintain the privacy of our clients and fulfill our end of the deal regardless of what another group might try to buy off of us at a later point. Any information that we come across along the way will not be mentioned afterwards at any time unless the party related to said information in the first place gives us permission to do so." Several members were taken back by Ghost's sudden businesslike manner.

"There are a few exceptions to this rule. For example, if the party we are dealing with is using our services to eventually commit atrocities to innocents or actions that we consider morally bankrupt… well, more like extremely morally bankrupt in our case, the contract is null and void. Also, we would be pissed, and we tend to take out our rage on those responsible for our anger. I have the scars to prove it."

Several people in the room sweat dropped.

Ghost continued. "I am not the person in the family that usually conducts large deals such as this. If you would like to make a final contract and know all the details, you will have to wait until my brother Scabbard comes. He is a much better businessman than I am. He's not nearly as funny or as sexy, though." More people sweat dropped.

Ghost faced the old man and got up. "Anyways, I think that's about it. I'm beat with the ass kicking and teaching the kid and all that stuff. Whatever you want to ask me can wait 'til next time. I'm gonna go to sleep. Later." And with that, Ghost walked out of the room without a care in the world, further insulting the more egotistical council members. There would be more yelling, but for some odd reason, several members of the council had suddenly discovered that they had sore throats during the meeting…

Inside, Sarutobi groaned. "I believe our guest has the right idea, despite his less than appropriate manner of presenting it. We are all tired and weary of this emergency meeting, and are unable to perform at our best at this time. I hereby declare this council meeting postponed until tomorrow. Good night."

As the council exited out of the room, mumbling and grumbling about the fox, several thoughts remained unspoken.

_'What was with his scent?'_

_'He manipulated the council perfectly, but whose side is he on? Troublesome.'_

_'I have made a deal with an interesting man.'_

_'He is too powerful and knows too much to be left alone. I must wait and think of some way to remove him.'_

_'Why are my insects afraid of this man? He did not radiate any chakra, nor any intent. So why do they tell me that he is more dangerous than the Kyūbi? They won't even attempt to go anywhere near him.'_

_'It seems that Kakashi is being added to the group as well. Maybe he can tell me what happened after I died.'_

_'Holy shit, that was close. Half the crap I pulled was made on the spot. If I didn't bring that ramen to stall like crazy, I wouldn't have done nearly as well. I didn't want Kakashi in on the change so early, but beggars can't be choosers. At least this ended better than I had hoped. Good thing Scabbard made me memorize and practice reciting that bit about family business relationships and contracts after that last fiasco with the cannibal ogres. I might get the others here sooner than planned. Meh, at least things won't be boring or completely predictable this time. Yay improv!'_

o. o. o.

A/N

Current poll results

Sarutobi dies?

Yes 1

No 9

Haku?

Boy 2

Girl 8

Keep on voting people, this will be up for a while.

I don't really like how the ending of this chapter came out, but I'm just so lazy that I didn't care at this point. I might edit it later just to make things easier to read.

While I do enjoy being silly very much, there will be some serious moments later on in the story with some huge fight scenes, with lots of blood, gore, and pretty much anything that's in a good Quentin Tarantino movie.

Please review! If I get at least… dunno 9-12 reviews by the end of the day this is posted (or by the time I wake up the next morning), the next chapter will come out on Wednesday! Woo insomnia!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 10:

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Please note that there will be heavy blood and gore at the end of this chapter.

o. o. o.

The rest of the first month went by quickly. Naruto and Hinata were progressing at an incredible pace, making even Ghost raise his eyebrows a few times.

_'What is it with these child hero types? No matter how many I give a hand to, and no matter how stupid they originally were, they all end up learning and growing at speeds that would make chia pets shit themselves! What the hell do they eat?'_

Naruto had progressed at an immense rate due to Ghost's tutelage and his new shadow clone training style. He could form a Rasengan in either hand with a mere flick of the wrist, regardless of whether he was tree climbing or water walking or leaf balancing (or any combination of the three).

Oddly enough, at one point in the training, Ghost was looking at the Rasengan that Naruto was making in his hands and after looking at his arm in comparison, he told Naruto to make the attack smaller. To show how small he wanted them, Ghost got a ruler and tied it to the underside of the boy's wrist so one end was sticking out from under his palm, and told him to make the attack small enough to not touch the stick.

It took a whole day to get it right (or several years' worth of clone training), but the smaller, more concentrated and more potent Rasengan became the new standard size when the blonde used it.

The kid's body had definitely shaped up a bit as well. While Ghost had noted that his body was pretty ripped before, it wasn't the kind he needed. The muscles he had, while powerful, were the wrong type for the kind of fighting he was going to do. Ghost's training had toned down Naruto's huge muscles and strengthened the ones he hadn't developed yet. In short, Ghost was turning Naruto's once future body builder type body to a more triathlon style body. Not overly muscular, but extremely strong and able to go long periods of time without needing to rest. While his body wasn't in the best shape it could be yet, it was only a matter of time.

All this with a gravity seal set on 3X.

Without his seal on, Ghost surmised that the kid was already as fast as a low level jōnin. Quite an improvement, considering his original speed only clocked in at low chūnin, which was a result of his constant pranking and escaping.

He still was nowhere near as fast as Lee without his weights, but that was to be expected. The green boy wonder was probably at high jōnin level speeds without his weights on now, and would only get faster as time went on. Ghost and Naruto wondered how fast the enthusiastic spandex lad would be when he grew up all the way. They decided that if Lee achieved a level of speed that only he could reach, they would create a new level named after him. Deciding on a decent name based off of Lee was proving to be a challenge though.

…So far Green Beast level, Tight Spandex level, Bushy Brows level, Scary level, and Shiny Hair level have all been considered and turned down. WTF level was still being considered.

By experimenting, he found that he could push his transformation to roughly as small as a medium sized fūma shuriken, or as large as someone roughly the size of Kisame with his sword. Same mass, shape, feel, look, everything. With a little practice, he could also transform with minimal smoke and without any hand seals. He also found that if one of his clones turned into a projectile covered in exploding tags, they wouldn't explode. When Naruto asked Ghost why, Ghost replied that the most reasonable answers would be that either it's because Naruto does not know how to make an exploding seal, and as such the fake seals on the transformation are null and void, or simply because that it's a transformation and the process of making an exploding tag is not incorporated into the new form, making the fake tags useless regardless of what he does. This idea also explained why when Naruto transformed into something/someone with a special ability, such as Kisame's sword or Itachi with his Sharingan, he only gained the shape and not the powers that came along with it.

Despite that setback, Naruto's training with his replacement technique had blossomed into something beautiful and exploitable beyond words, evident by how much Ghost was crying anime tears when Naruto first applied it in a spar with the long haired man.

True to what Ghost had predicted, Naruto could indeed replace himself with his clones. In fact, he could do it much faster with his clones than he could do so with a normal log once he got the hang of it. Both assumed it was because they had the same chakra wavelength and his experience with using clones in combat enabled him to do the switch more smoothly and without less chakra. Not only that, but Ghost had for a week and a half trained Naruto in replacing himself at faster speeds and intervals, and his range of replacing had increased to a 50 meter radius.

Naruto would first create roughly 300 clones (when he first started the exercise, his control had increased to the point where he could make 1400 without any trouble) and transform them into stones around a VERY happy Ghost and an uncomfortably large pile of kunai, with and without tags, while Naruto simply stood in a random spot. Ghost would then proceed to throw kunai at Naruto at an increasing pace and speed while Naruto continued to do nothing but replace himself around the area until all the clones were stabbed. It did not matter where Naruto relocated, as Ghost seemed to be able to tell where the boy was almost immediately after each switch.

No running or dodging aside from replacing was allowed. If he was hit or tried to get out of the way, they would start all over from the beginning again. This also gave Ghost good training in throwing weapons in various directions.

Needless to say Ghost enjoyed this training exercise **far** more than Naruto did.

Despite getting stabbed on average a few hundred times a day, Naruto had to admit that the results of the exercise were easily worth it. He could now replace himself at a moment's notice with virtually anything remotely close to his size, including large logs, small stones, occasionally random civilians, (even Hinata once by accident). He could perform replacements repeatedly with only a fraction of a second in between each one, and was very difficult to hit. Like his transformation, his replacement was also almost smokeless and seal-less.

Naruto and Ghost did notice that it was harder to replace yourself with someone/thing that had a fair amount of chakra that wasn't in tune with your own. The more chakra it had, the harder it was to do the technique.

It made sense logically… but logic wasn't really something the two really followed or listened to if it was against them and currently had a side project going up where they were trying to create a technique to replace themselves with virtually anyone regardless of how much chakra they had. It was slow going at the moment, but the two were stubborn, and the usefulness of such a technique was well worth the mental breakdowns.

He also made this trick to screw around with future opponents where he would set them up in the middle of transformed clones and start to replace himself repeatedly at a fast pace, occasionally adding a non-transformed clone every few replacements to give off the illusion that he is moving far faster than he really is, pretty much making Naruto look like the rebirth of the Yellow Flash.

When Ghost first saw this trick, he laughed his ass off and told him that if he ever pulled this trick off on an Iwa shinobi, they would freak out thinking that they were up against the phantom of the Fourth. Ghost made Naruto promise that if that ever happened, he would take a picture of his opponent's face so he could frame it later.

The youth's chakra control had also shot up at an incredible rate (think Tsunade's blood pressure when Jiraiya does something perverted fast). Even though his chakra reserves had increased a little, his control was still the main focus. By the end of the month, the boy was training with an astounding 1700 clones in the training grounds at once. The combined leaf balancing and water walking and tree climbing exercises was a miracle working activity, and when combined with the Frog-fu kata and other physical exercises, his control increased even more.

Ghost still pounded the clones whenever they screwed up, and he was still for some reason forcing a good deal of them to leaf balance several leaves on their forearms and under their wrists. Occasionally, he would even force them to cut the leaves while leaf balancing them from said positions without any help. That took a while in Naruto's opinion and seemed kind of useless, but Ghost kept on giving the youth the same excuse. "It will help you do something really freaking awesome later on."

Naruto didn't know what was going on, but considering that his new teacher thought his Flying Thunder God mimic move 'pretty damn cool', this new thing that supposedly was 'really freaking awesome' must be really freaking… awesome.

Naruto's Sage Mode training had also yielded some interesting results. At first, it took the kid at least thirty seconds to enter Sage Mode and could only use one clone as a spare battery and two for combat due to his reduced control and reserves.

Now after extensive training, a fair amount of good advice from Ghost about how different energies work, and an unknown number of concussions (Ghost was glad that the large stick he found earlier could be put to good use), Naruto could enter Sage Mode within nine seconds and use three clones as backups while using an additional five clones for combat purposes. They would have trained more in this field, but they still felt that it was too early to introduce Hinata to some of Naruto's more interesting skills.

Taijutsu wise, both the blonde and brunette were progressing at an incredible pace.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

_The next time Hinata came over, Ghost introduced the two to several types of dancing forms and martial arts._

_To both, he started teaching break dancing. When asked why, Ghost replied that while the entirety of the style is a bit too extravagant and inefficient to use for fighting, certain aspects of it were unusually helpful when up against stronger and slower opponents. To prove his point, Ghost told Naruto to hit him as hard as he could._

_Naruto was more than happy to oblige, sending the man flying back several feet before hitting the ground, only to bounce back up on his feet the second he hit it… albeit he was hunched over and swearing about overpowered steroid-children._

_Catching his breath again, Ghost then walked back to the two and proceeded to simply fall back on the ground, seemingly about to hit heavily, only to bounce back up in various manners and positions._

" _The point of teaching you two break dancing is to apply three of its main characteristics into your fighting style to make it more efficient." Ghost explained to the two interested youths._

" _The first is control. I am physically the weakest out of everyone in my family. At best, I am as strong as roughly an upper level chūnin or a lower level jōnin." This raised some eyebrows, "However, I also have the greatest control of how my body moves as well. Every movement I make can be and often is precise and linked to the next, leaving little or no wasted energy and power. Hinata, you are already on your way to mastering this step given your family's taijutsu style's focus of hitting specific points on the human body, but you still lack the range of control that you need to truly exploit this trait. Instead of focusing on your arms, this will train you to use and control your entire body to move at speeds and angles that you are not normally used to while maintaining a fair amount of accuracy in your strikes. Blondie, this goes double for you." Hinata blushed while Naruto growled._

" _The second trait, and the one you will probably use most often, is recovery. Break dancing is very fast and wild and often has the user low on the ground or in the air about to hit the ground. Either way, there are methods to make sure the dancer lands from even the greatest falls without so much as a scratch and can pop back up from even the most unusual positions. Using these tricks will allow you to recover from taking a hit much faster than usual and possibly take less damage from the fall as well. Sometimes, it may allow you to recover fast enough to get a decent counter blow in. It is a very useful skill to have and can sometimes save your life."_

_Ghost grinned. "The last application of this style is its unpredictability. Break dancing is well known in several areas as a sort of creative sport. Each special trick and routine is supposed to be unique to the one who used it. The same way with fighting in general. The flashier and more creative your style is, the more eyes you will turn and the harder it is for your opponent to come up with something to top it. Unpredictability can sometimes be the deciding factor in a fight and result in even the weakest fighters overcoming the most experienced opponents." Naruto smirked. "Needless to say, Naruto has plenty of this and knows how to use it. This is good practice for the both of you to be creative with what you have and see what you can get out of it. By the end of the three months, I want both of you to create at least four solo routines and at least two duo routines, complete with your own personal moves. The duo routines are a teamwork and trust exercise, and will also teach you two to apply your creative thinking to situations where there are multiple elements on your side of the field."_

_Hinata was astonished at the applications of such a dancing style. If her family ever saw her perform as such, she would not hear the end of it, but the benefits were simply beyond useful. She watched as Ghost fell on his head several times; every time he fell exactly the same way, but his recovery was different each time. Sometimes he tucked in and rolled to his side, others he sprung his body into a flip, some he rolled forward on his feet, and others he landed almost flat on his face, only to have his body bend backwards and roll in the opposite direction until he was once again comfortably on his feet. Each time he was recovering without a scratch and moving as fluidly as running water._

_It was worth it._

_Naruto… was simply staring at how cool the dancing style was._

o. o. o.

Break dancing was perfect for the two. With Naruto's endless energy and knack for the chaotic arts and Hinata's grace and flexibility, the two were quickly learning several tricks and routines, mastering them as quickly as they were learning them thanks to their ninja training and their determination to get stronger.

While he didn't mention it before, the style had one more benefit. Due to the constant movement and frequent spinning that break dancing contained, the two children often became dizzy or disoriented during their practice runs and had to take frequent breaks. Breaks that were slowly shortening as time went on.

By the time the two finished their training in break dancing, Ghost determined that it would take a massive blow to the head or excessive blood loss to get the two to start making mistakes in their styles and forms. Not only that, but the spinning was excellent training for Hinata for when she finally started to learn Kaiten. Ghost had no doubt that there were more than a few Main house Hyūga who'd died after learning Kaiten because they lost their lunch during a fight after using the move too much.

Ghost soon afterwards began teaching Hinata tai-chi, which she recognized as a style that was remarkably similar to Jūken with its indirect movements and its fluid stances, aside from the fact that it dealt damage through fists as well as palm strikes. When she asked why he was teaching her this form, Ghost replied that it was an excellent counter style. He explained that since the form was similar to her Jūken, she could apply some of its stances and kata to Jūken to iron out some of the weaknesses in her family's style, such as some of the stiff counter stances to keep her form somewhat fresh. Also, he explained that in the event that she came across an opponent that is somehow immune to Jūken's chakra strikes, she would have a style that didn't rely on chakra strikes to defend herself with.

As an extra homework for the heiress, Ghost asked Hinata to look for a dancing style that she thought would be beneficial to her style of fighting and ask Ghost to teach her. When she asked what if she found something he didn't know how to dance to, Ghost merely laughed and told her that if she did, he would give her even more training than what he had originally planned as thanks for finding a new style for him to dance to.

She had yet to find anything, but Ghost knew that it wouldn't be long. The girl's eyes showed too much determination to simply give up.

To Ghost's amusement, even with the addition of another martial art, Hinata was improving at a far more impressive pace than Naruto was. He guessed that it was due to her family's focus on taijutsu and chakra control that she could learn new forms faster than other people. Her body was simply more used to memorizing stances and forms than Naruto's was.

Focusing on Hinata, the girl's progress was phenomenal despite the fact that she would only train with them three days a week. Her speed and precision in general was growing at a pace beyond ridiculous, let alone her striking speed. Ghost had to make a mental note to re-define the term 'poke of death' after watching the girl blow apart a practice log with her fingers with her seal on. When she and Naruto sparred using only taijutsu (meaning no shadow clones) without their seals on, Hinata won 90% of the time. After she got over her initial fear of hurting Naruto, of course. That took a few weeks.

Ghost was simply astounded on how much a little encouragement and positive reinforcement can do. He decided to have another talk with Hiashi to tell him that his daughter was something that prodigies should bloody well worship and to start getting his clan elder's heads out of their asses before they do something that they would regret dearly. If Ghost wasn't so sure that Naruto was going to be Hokage, he would have been pretty convinced the mousy girl would have been the next village leader the day she decided to stand up for herself.

Her standard gravity seal setting was already at 2.15X. Not bad considering the girl is tiny as hell.

Her chakra control and reserves had also blown up to ridiculous proportions. She could now train nearly twice as long as she used to when she first started, which placed her among the mid/upper tier of her age group in terms of reserves - still nowhere close to Naruto's, but who is aside from Kisame? - , and she could recover much quicker as well. Hinata could now without fail water walk and tree climb, and was almost done mastering the combinations as well. This didn't include her Rasengan training.

Naruto was 100% correct when he claimed that Hinata would learn the steps faster than he would. Within a week, she had already figured out the first step and had managed to pop the water balloon in her dominant hand. It took another week for her to be able to pop a water balloon in her other hand, and for extra credit do both at the same time in under 2 seconds as well. Both Naruto and Ghost were gaping when she showed them how fast she learned the first step. The third week was spent simply training herself to do a repeat performance while water walking and tree climbing. Needless to say the males in the group were beyond impressed.

Hinata was currently busy applying the first step to her Jūken, along with her tai-chi and her break dancing. When asked if she would show what she had come up with so far, Hinata merely blushed, pressed her fingers together, and mumbled that she wanted it to be a surprise and would show it to them when she felt it was ready.

Fighting style aside, Hinata had physically started to develop too … no, not in **that** way perverts… she started that development years ago. Hinata's body was more physically fit and muscular. What skin she did show - she was still too shy to ditch the coat - was tanning at a gradual pace and developing a great complexion. She was still paler than the general population, but now she could be identified as the Hyūga that didn't look like a closet shut-in.

Following some… advice from Ghost, Hinata had also decided to grow her hair out a bit. The results so far were not that noticeable, seeing as it has only been a month since she started, but there was a bit more length to her hairstyle now.

Training with Naruto and Ghost had slowly removed some of Hinata's timid personality. She did not stutter anymore unless Naruto was around, and even then it was reduced greatly. She had begun to assert herself with her training and had started to make decisions for herself instead of following other people's advice.

By other people's advice, we mean Ghost trying to get Hinata to do something stupid/embarrassing at least twice a week in order for her to grow a bit of back bone or to push the two kids closer together… or to see her do something stupid and or embarrassing.

o. o. o.

Flashbacks:

" _Hey Hinata! I think Naruto would really like it if you sat in his lap and kissed him!"_

" _Hey Hinata! You should totally rub Naruto's belly and tell him you think he is your own personal Buddha!"_

" _Hey Hinata! Make me a sandwich!"_

" _Hey Hinata! I think you should go tell Naruto that you think he's hot and sexy and that you want to do dirty things to him!"_

" _Hey Hinata! Where do you think pigeons come from?"_

" _Hey Hinata!" Ghost runs in with a bag. "You should totally wear this stuff during your next training session!" Hinata opened the bag, closed it, and struck Ghost several dozen times with her Jūken before walking away blushing heavily. Surprisingly enough though, Ghost never found that bag after he came to…_

o. o. o.

Needless to say, while Hinata still respected Ghost as a teacher, her respect for him as a competent human being was not so evident, going so far as to actually showing disapproval of his behavior and even occasionally mild irritation. Success!

While she never focused on the academy three with Naruto or Ghost, Hinata's clone, replacement, and transformation improved drastically. She now could do the techniques at a moment's notice without seals and with little to no smoke.

Before, Hinata had to focus to try to make any more than two normal clones; now she could make seven without a moment's hesitation and still fight with no trouble.

When Hinata asked the two why Naruto wasn't practicing the clone technique, the two merely responded that Naruto did not really need to learn it to become a genin. While she didn't show it, Hinata knew that they were hiding something from her. Growing up in the Hyūga clan had given her some skills in detecting misleading sentences, and red lights were flashing when they mentioned becoming genin and said nothing about the test. While she was curious as to why they were so confident in Naruto's progression into the ranks, she knew that they wouldn't tell her until they thought it was necessary.

Little did Hinata know that all she needed to do was ask why Naruto didn't need to know the clone technique. The males of the group had already decided that it was good for Hinata if they provoked her curiosity and encouraged her to ask questions in order to improve her timid personality. She needed to assert herself some more, and this was just one more way to encourage it.

o. o. o.

Ghost in the meantime had learned the Shadow Clone technique from Naruto several days after the meeting, and was constantly training with them in chakra control and learning/perfecting the replacement technique. When asked why he didn't learn the transformation or Rasengan, Ghost shrugged and claimed that he didn't need them.

What his two students didn't see was Ghost's night training, which focused on converting his natural energy into chakra and pushing it out into the air, giving him his Seventh Sense. Even with 100 clones and knowing a good part of what he was doing, it took the man a couple of weeks to get used to the change. Chakra was slightly less concentrated than normal energy, which meant it lasted in the air for a shorter period of time, reducing its effective range from his standard 500 meter radius to a 200 meter radius. However, the conditioning of the surrounding area took far less time than he expected, and controlling the surrounding air was a bit easier as well. Ghost assumed that this was due to this world's constant use of and flow of chakra, and as such the surrounding air was already preconditioned to some degree.

He'd also found a VERY interesting use for the tree climbing exercise in close quarters combat that he'd decided to keep to himself…

The rest of his month was committed to controlling the air around him with chakra, going through his normal patterns and familiarizing himself with the new form of power while creating small twisters, compressed pockets of air, wind blades, and large vacuums. Much to Ghost's irritation, anything large scale seemed to take up more energy than it should have.

After… borrowing a few books from the village's library and the old man and trying some wind style jutsu, Ghost came to the conclusion that the hand formations acted as a sort of spiritual to physical temper and mold. Unless the technique was extremely highly concentrated and close to the body, such as Rasengan and its variants, or if there was some sort of medium to channel a person's powers through, seal-less chakra fueled attacks were nearly useless outside a small range of the user's body because hand signs are needed to convert a person's chakra into a form that is real enough to exist independent of the user's body for any length of time.

The reason why people can perform some techniques without hand seals is because after a certain amount of practice and repetition, the body of the caster will be able to instinctively replicate the pattern normally created by the seals. The longer the pattern and the more powerful the technique is, the longer it will take for the body to memorize the sequence. Occasionally, the body will be able to automatically trigger the technique on instinct even if the person couldn't normally do so if it was a life or death situation.

The strongest attacks, which often require the most seals as well, are too powerful and complicated for the standard or even advanced ninja of this world to perform seal-less without severely damaging their body's chakra coils. The strain imposed by trying to prepare something that large by instinct is simply beyond their capability. Instead, what most ninja do is shorten the sequence to a handful of seals as a shortcut. That is why some ninja can perform attacks that require over 25 hand seals with just four. While in some cases this may lead to a slightly weaker attack due to a weak 'mold', the time saved by doing so was generally considered to make up for it.

This means that before Ghost could start pretending to be a god among ninja (pretending…hehehe), he will have to learn, and in many cases re-create, several dozen of his personal techniques before he can go about claiming to be the greatest thing since sliced bread… if he wanted to.

Because his body already knew how to perform these techniques, all he really needs to do is figure out the correct sequence of hand seals and practice them until he's able to do them chakra-efficiently. It is similar to using different kinds of fuel for a car. Ghost's engine is the way he uses his powers, and his energy is the fuel. Because he is changing his fuel to the kind needed in this world, he needs to change his engine as well, or else he will be highly inefficient (waste energy) on the road (fighting).

Luckily, he'd also discovered another little trick that would help Naruto and him out later. It seemed that Ghost, with a little experimenting and extra training, could comfortably create a shadow clone anywhere within his recently adjusted Seventh Sense, all the way over to the very edge of his awareness, over 200 meters away, with little concentration. Ghost assumed this was due to having his chakra already in place, and so focusing in that area caused the chakra there to react in kind.

Experimenting a little more, Ghost realized that he could perform any jutsu that did not require using his body as a medium or being fired as a projectile in his sense range as easily as if it was from his own body.

Such an advantage over his enemies was beyond useful.

Needless to say, there was a lot of maniacal laughter in the training grounds that night.

After Ghost returned to the land of the moderately sane, he finally got to business and started to go over the jutsu creation scrolls.

The visitor grumbled. He was like Naruto, a guy who learned by doing, not by reading. But unfortunately, this was something he had to do in private.

He had a mass assassination technique to make…

o. o. o.

Kakashi was added to the group several days after Ghost's meeting with the council. Though he was asked several times to meet the council again, Ghost declined, saying that he 'had absolute faith in the council and most esteemed Hokage's judgment on the matter, and felt that if he was there he would only complicate matters further.'

The council members who had their heads on straight, which were most of the clan heads, and surprisingly enough Danzō, got the real message.

"This is all I'm going to tell you for now. If you want more from me, do what the old man tells you to without any questions. Otherwise, fuck off and leave me alone or else I leave and the seal goes unsupervised."

Needless to say, the decisions regarding Naruto and Ghost went by a lot faster than Sarutobi expected, and within a few days Kakashi was in his office receiving instructions on his latest assignment.

The second Kakashi arrived (3 hours later than the designated time of course), Ghost snuck up behind the unsuspecting pervert and held him down in a full nelson while Naruto slammed a chain link into his forehead. Luckily, Hinata was not there that day to witness the ensuing chaos.

Kakashi spent the next hour rolling on the ground, grabbing his head, and above all else trying to stay away from Ghost and Naruto while they tried to take off his mask and take a picture of his face while giggling like little girls.

They currently have at least 37 pictures of a rather handsome man hidden somewhere in the village, primed for blackmail usage or to be copied for mass distribution.

When the cyclops finally came to, Ghost and Naruto explained to him what was going on, the rules of the game, who was currently involved, and assured him that nothing the villagers could do would affect the seal now. Ghost also told Kakashi that he could keep his link, as he was their best chance of getting one on Zabuza when the time came.

When asked why and how they would add Zabuza to the group, Ghost smirked and merely replied that he was doing some research on Mizugakure and its past few Kage, and he'd found some interesting things that the renegade swordsman might be interested in.

As for why they would want the man and his assistant on their side… Ghost simply slapped Kakashi upside the head and told him to figure it out himself.

Naruto left early that day to give his body a good rest with Ghost's permission, claiming that he needed to discuss something with Kakashi in private. He did, however, feel a massive amount of familiar killing intent on the way back to his apartment …

The next day, Kakashi was seen running throughout the village while shaking a carton of milk in front of his face, laughing his ass off and screaming "HAHAHA MOOOOOOO!" and "DANCE COW DANCE!"

Several days later, Naruto asked Kakashi what had happened, Kakashi having been detained for psychiatric evaluation in the meantime. The scarecrow paused before saying that he had a moment of weakness, made a bad decision, and was simply suffering the repercussions.

Naruto knew better than to ask any further questions on the subject when Ghost appeared behind Kakashi and the jōnin actually JUMPED in surprise, with a fair amount of fear.

Kakashi spent the rest of the month getting used to the fact that he was in the past, giving Naruto, Hinata and Ghost tips on various ninja techniques and control exercises, restoring his body to the shape it was in before the time jump, and regaining control of his Mangekyō Sharingan.

Apparently, the advanced form of the eye was unlocked via a mental trigger, so when Kakashi came back, his super eye of death ability came back too. Ghost asked Kakashi a few weeks of their initial meeting how he unlocked his eye's final power out of curiosity, but the silver haired man replied nonchalantly that everyone had their secrets and went back to his porn/book.

Hinata took Kakashi's appearance fairly well and was eager to have another teacher help her and Naruto get stronger… until she saw what he was reading and not so subtly made remarks about his choice of literature.

Needless to say, this gave the two youths another thing to talk about… their unfortunate attraction for perverted teachers. It would be perverts in general, but with Naruto's sexy techniques and Hinata's now ridiculously detailed fantasies, they both silently admitted to themselves that going in that direction would be both hypocritical and self-destructive.

Ironically enough, one day Ghost asked Kakashi if he could check out the book to see what the big deal was. He knew it was pretty graphic, but other than that he was pretty much clueless on the series. The only reason why he didn't simply buy the book was because he knew that if he was seen with it in public, even in a bag, his chances of getting laid in the village would plummet drastically.

There were WAY too many eligible and beautiful women in this village to take such a risk.

After a few moment's pause, and a somewhat intimidating evil grin, Kakashi handed over his book with an unconvincing eye smile.

It took a whole ten seconds of reading a random page before Ghost threw the book down on the ground and torched it with a lighter and some bug spray in front of a shocked and horrified Kakashi. The entire time, Ghost was chanting several exorcism rituals to kill the evil demon residing in that book known as horrible literature. While he may be a pervert, Ghost also loved good stories. Anything with less plot development than a semi-relevant filler TV episode of a large series (hint hint) was immediately a lost cause to the man and should be purged.

Ghost then dragged the mourning jōnin to the nearest bookstore, got him a moderately large adult rated science fiction book, thrust it into his chest and told him to read.

If people thought it was hard to get a book away from the man before… now it was near impossible for anyone besides the Hokage or Ghost.

When Naruto and Hinata asked why science fiction, Ghost responded, "Three reasons. One, the stuff is addicting as hell and there are enough series to keep his attention for a long time. Two, compared any other genre, science fiction has the widest range of creativity, characters and plot lines out there, so it's a good inspiration for various tactics against opponents with obscure abilities which he will most likely go up against in the future. Three, when it comes to smut, there is nothing that science fiction won't eventually cover. Unlike that Icha-Icha crap, said smut will be evenly paced, in decent detail, have proper grammar, and not sound like it came from the mouth of an eight year old that just came out of his first sex ed class."

When asked why he didn't read sci-fi as much as Kakashi, Ghost merely grinned, blushed and said, "Guess."

o. o. o.

Naruto, Hinata, Kakashi, and Ghost were in the training field finishing up the lunch that Hinata brought them. Naruto was silently worshipping Hinata's culinary skills, Kakashi was reading his new book with one hand while cleaning up with the other, Hinata was blushing in response to Naruto's mute praise while cleaning up a majority of the trash and Ghost was sleeping in a branch in a nearby tree, evident by the large bubble coming out of his nose.

According to Ghost, the training was going to get an upgrade that day. Apparently his two students had progressed far enough in their 'basic conditioning' training that he felt that it was time to give them a more intense regimen after their lunch break. Judging by how much he was giggling when he said it, Naruto and Hinata were sure they would not like it.

Just as everyone was ready to start their warm up exercises again, Ghost grabbed his head in such intense pain that he fell out of the tree and only barely managed to land on his feet.

"FUCK! Today?! Damn it!" He shouted in agony.

"Ghost-sensei?" Hinata asked in a shocked tone.

"Ero-nii?" Naruto said in a confused voice.

"Ghost-san? What's the matter?" Kakashi asked, having already put his book away.

"AAARRRHHH, **FUCK**!" He screamed as he stumbled violently to either side. None of them had ever seen Ghost act this way before. They would be lying if they had said that they weren't scared at that moment.

"Hold on," Kakashi said urgently as he tried to get a grip on the thrashing man. Hinata looked like she was about to cry and Naruto was simply paralyzed. "I'll get you to the hospital and we'll get you help."

" **NO.** " Ghost muttered. The air around him seemed to echo that single word as if it was a part of him. Everyone froze in their spots, unable to breathe, let alone move.

" **Whatever… you do**." He breathed out between gasps in a somewhat darker and hoarse voice as a pair of stripped bone wings unfurled from his back, unrestrained by his shirt and jacket. Taking a few more strained breaths, the air around the man… cracked?

" **Don't… follow me**."

And with that he took off at a speed none of them thought was physically possible – even Kakashi, who's seen Gai fight with seven gates opened… and of course seen the Fourth in action as well - in a random direction, already out of sight before it registered to them that he had left. The slipstream he created in his wake was strong enough to carve a meter deep trench in the earth in the direction he was going, however the trees that should have been in his way were completely unmarred. Of course, the three shocked bystanders couldn't see the trench until the enormous cloud of dust and debris settled down and their fear induced paralysis wore off.

o. o. o.

Training area 44 was known as the Forest of Death for several reasons. Its inhabitants were bloodthirsty, giant abominations of nature. The plant life was almost as carnivorous as the animals and insects crawling on its boughs. A perfectly good example of one of the unique and lethal inhabitants would be the rare and dangerous exploding squirrel species. Among the smallest creatures in the forest, this critter has one of the highest kill per encounter ratio among non-ninja animals in the world, minus the bijū of course.

However, one of the top reasons why it was given its name was because it was a popular hangout area for Anko Mitarashi and anyone who had her interest at the time.

Today, it was Hana Inuzuka, chūnin, village vet, and unregistered ANBU for the Hokage.

The soon to be 18 year old was currently one of the few ANBU agents directed with spying on any and all ROOT agents and activities. Her division was the Hokage's answer to Danzō's ROOT program, and had been in action long before Ghost made his appearance. Her job as the village vet was the perfect cover to keep her in the village without drawing any attention as to why a perfectly capable chūnin with decent medical skills was constantly staying within the village walls instead of doing missions like everyone else.

Hana enjoyed what she did. She got to stay inside the village and relax a good portion of the time at home. There was little distance from anything she wanted or needed at any point in any of her missions. She got to stay with her family and make sure that they were safe, and she got paid VERY well for her tri-weekly espionage missions around town in addition to her day job, which mainly consisted of simply following confirmed ROOT members going about their daily lives and occasionally breaking and entering their homes to steal any letters or information that they'd received. Seeing that she only followed small fry and occasionally some mid-level members of the organization, the danger level of her work was reasonably low… considering she was dealing with an underground assassin organization and all.

At the moment though, she and her ninja hounds, the grey triplets, were simply on the receiving end of one of Anko's semi drunk rants.

In many, many cases this would count as an A-rank mission seeing as the Snake Mistress likes to 'rant' with kunai, senbon and other sharp implements.

"That long haired BASTARD!" She shouted for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

"I get it." Hana sighed somewhat irritably. "He fondled your breasts and got away with it without paying the consequences. It's no reason to hold a grudge for a month…" She was interrupted by a flurry of shuriken.

"You should know better mutt girl!" Anko growled, irritating the ANBU some more. "You knew that I was going to milk that ANBU pool for everything it was worth!" The purple haired woman wept. "I was going to put a genjutsu on myself that week and 'accidentally' fall out of a changing room topless with a few unsuspecting ninja inside the store nearby. They spread the word and the pool goes up in my favor! YOU then put a bet on my real size and several days later I let it slip to one of your team mates completely hammered and BOOM! We have enough cash to last us for the next three years! Gone! ALL GONE BECAUSE SOME PERVERT OUT OF NOWHERE DECIDED TO FEEL ME UP AND SPREAD THE WORD ABOUT HOW BIG MY TITS ARE!" Anko was leaning against a tree, crying her eyes out at this point while Hana and her dogs simply deadpanned.

She didn't really need or want the money in the first place, she was just along for the thrill of screwing over some of the idiots that she worked with. The same morons who started the pool on how big Anko was were constantly making cracks about her own figure when they weren't on the job. Hana didn't have the heart or the nerve to tell Anko that she beat the Snake Mistress by a good two cup sizes… It hurt even thinking about putting on those restrictive chūnin vests every time she had to go on a mission…

Hana was more interested in said long haired pervert than the ruined scheme, and she knew that Anko was too… well, maybe that was a bit of an overstatement, but he did pique the Snake Mistress' curiosity. Anyone who could escape her clutches constantly while staying in the walls of the village had to be somewhat interesting.

That, and it was somewhat impressive that he could tell what a woman's bust size was with an accidental squeeze. Most perverts just grab and run without any brain functions working between the two steps.

Then there were his run-ins with Danzō and his ROOT agents.

Hana had been working as a spy for the Hokage for years, and had not once heard of someone who'd not only gained the war hawk's interest to the point of sending multiple squads to spy on them, but who was constantly taking out, looting, and thoroughly embarrassing said squads in the process in record time! She would have given anything to be on the scene when the man had pulled off his now legendary pirate, space alien and giraffe bondage incident… and to find out where the hell he gets his costumes from…the corset on the giraffe was simply…and the harness that the pirate was in was so… And do not get her started on the headgear…

Er… moving on.

She had heard rumors from the other ANBU that the guy was there to help fix a small problem with the Kyūbi kid's seal. She had nothing against the container, but the pranks he pulled were starting to get on her nerves. The last time he pulled one on the Inuzuka clan's compound, it took her weeks to get the remains of the prank and its messy aftereffects from the animal shelter pens. It took several more weeks to get the rancid smell of animal excrement out of her hair.

She'd also heard that the guy was unpredictable, crazy, cunning, a great dancer, smart, rude, and probably most important in her line of work, strong.

What she had seen supported all their claims.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

It had been Hana's shift that night, and she'd received word that there was something big was happening at the park. She had been staking out the outer edge of the grounds when she glimpsed a squad of ROOT agents leading the man known as Ghost to the lake. Hana had seen the guy before take out several squads before in town without even lifting a finger, once with Anko when she was stalking the guy to try to get a jump on him in revenge for her failed money making scheme.

They stopped that time when they saw four ROOT agents out of nowhere fall unconscious around the man, who immediately started to loot their belongings, at one point cackling like a maniac and slapping himself in the face immediately afterwards.

After he had kicked one of the members in the head to keep them unconscious, the man used some of the ink he had stolen to write some odd seals on each of the ROOT members, grumbling something about horrible names and annoying copyright laws. After which he had lifted all four spies up and proceeded to carry them to the nearest bath house, leapt over the gate, snuck into the women's changing room and dressed all four members in extravagant bunny girl and flamingo dancer costumes, positioning them in very lewd and somewhat impressive stances against the wall using high quality duct tape and some rope. One of them was even suspended off of the ceiling.

All of his tools were stored in what seemed like a storage seal on the inside of his trench coat.

The entire time, the man was giggling like Kakashi and muttering ideas and suggestions to himself.

When he was finished, the man covered the spies' mouths with more duct tape and wiped off the seals he had placed on them earlier, neatly folded up and stored away their work clothes, and ran outside the building laughing his ass off.

Needless to say, he had their full attention after that.

Hana had followed the party of seven as far as she could before she noticed that she was caught in a massive genjutsu and was surrounded by seven more ROOT agents. Luckily, she had her mask on and her canine companions were further behind as backup, just in case there was a genjutsu in the area and she was caught in it. She could not be easily identified, but seven on one were not good odds, even if the seven were genin … which they definitely weren't.

Before a fight could erupt though, all the ROOT agents in the area twitched, as if they were hit in the head really hard, and passed out. Apparently the ones casting the illusion were taken down as well, because Ghost and Danzō phased into view.

As she hid in the bushes and signaled for her hounds to come in from standby, she watched the brief confrontation between the two men. She did not know what Danzō wanted specifically with the stranger, but it had easily blown up in his face as Ghost dominated the entire event as he mocked and even injured the council member with incredible ease.

Hana was in shock. The fact that Danzō was out in the open meant that there HAD to be at least a few dozen ROOT agents in the area, yet none of them appeared to defend their leader. From what she could gather and smell, aside from the two men staring each other down, everyone else in the area had been knocked out.

Except Hana and her dogs. There was no one else in the area, and Danzō was not foolish enough to knock out his own troops just to prove his power. There was only one even remotely reasonable explanation.

Ghost knocked the agents out, and he KNEW she was there. The mere idea shook the ANBU to her core. If she was right, that meant that he knew that she'd been following him every time, and simply let her think that she wasn't detected.

After he left, Hana ran straight to the Hokage in a panic to report what she had witnessed, noting that he was most likely the one who had saved her life as well. Sarutobi, after recovering from his laughing fit from hearing about Danzō's incredible humiliation, responded that anything regarding the man was to be kept an S-class secret for the village's safety. He explained that Ghost was in a way ensuring the future safety of Konoha and the next generation, and that he was not someone to irritate.

Hana nodded and almost left the office when she remembered something.

"Hokage-sama, I don't know if this is important but…"

"Yes? What is it?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

"His scent… it, it was empty. I don't know any other way to describe it."

The Hokage paused in deep thought before chuckling lightly to himself, confusing the teen. "Hana. I have only known the man for a couple of weeks… but in a way I can tell that he has experienced things that I can only dream of encountering or comprehending. The way you described his scent… in a way," he paused. "I believe, that there is no better scent to describe him, than one that you can tell is there, yet has no distinct relation to anything else."

She left the office just as another ANBU charged in panicked about yet another mob attacking the Uzumaki…

Later that night after finishing the rest of her shift, Hana came back home to hear the ranting of her mother coming back from yet another council meeting. She was about to close the door to her room when she heard the thing that would keep her up for the rest of the night.

"Poor manners aside, we have to keep an eye on him. The last time anyone in the family recorded someone with an empty scent, several people disappeared and a lot of bodies started showing up in their places. And if I didn't know any better… I could have sworn that he also smelled like a True Alpha for a moment."

o. o. o.

True Alphas were something of a legend in the Inuzuka clan. Apparently, there were people in the world that had the presence of a great leader, like the Hokage, only they were practically BORN to be a leader, and the scent became stronger as the individual grew more powerful and focused. Regardless of gender, whenever a True Alpha was found and confirmed, great changes were soon to follow for better or for worse.

The last recorded known True Alpha was the Fourth. The Inuzuka's were among the first to get behind the legendary blonde, having known about his scent since he rescued a younger Tsume in the war and unknowingly giving the woman a decent whiff of his person as he carried her off the battlefield. Word of him spread quickly, and soon the Aburame clan knew of the man's leadership potential as well, having similar knowledge of potential leaders via animal instincts as well. As for great changes… well, the guy beat the Kyūbi and killed an entire army of Iwa-nin by himself.

CRASH!

A giant commotion in the forest brought the two women back to reality as Anko reached for yet another kunai and Hana gathered her chakra in case she needed to pull a fast Gatsūga. It wouldn't be the first time they were interrupted in the forest, and it sure wouldn't be their last, but it would be the first time they encountered something in the forest that could create such the huge crater that had just been made a few dozen meters away from them.

What they weren't expecting was the man occupying their thoughts to show up in the middle of the debris, swearing up a storm and grabbing his head.

Under most circumstances, Anko would be jumping with glee (and many sharp pointy… things, objects being too restrictive of a word to describe the variety of things that Anko uses) to see the source of her rage right in front of her with no one to stop her from exacting her revenge, but at the moment she could tell something wasn't right.

He was in such apparent 'discomfort' that he did not seem to be aware of his surroundings, and even the woman who prides herself in interrogation tactics doubted that she could do anything to make him suffer any more. Which brings her back to the land of semi rational thinking, and sparks the question: what the fuck is happening to the guy?

Anko decided to take her chances and walked up to the youth.

"You don't look too good…" She chuckled. Whatever she was expecting for him to say, it wasn't what she heard next.

As soon as Anko spoke, Ghost grimaced. " **Fuck!** " He swore loudly before his screaming continued. " **Get away from me! Hurry!** "

Anko now was shocked. "What do you-" She never got to finish her sentence before Ghost created a pulse of air that exploded from his body, throwing everything within a ten meters of him away at an incredible speed. Hana almost didn't react in time to catch the scantily clad special jōnin before she slammed into a nearby tree, hard. (No, not Shinra Tensei. It's just a large shock wave. They're pretty easy to make for an air manipulator.)

The following blood curdling scream was the second most horrible and mind scarring thing the two women would ever experience in their lives. Its very essence was unnatural, as if it were a combination of a human and some sort of immense beast writhing in such pain that the surrounding area reverberated in agony just by being in the presence of such anguish. A duet of indescribable torture and pain.

Stones shattered, branches flew away, wind surged with incredible speed, and dust was flying everywhere. Hana and Anko barely managed to get shelter behind one of the immense trees in the forest, and even then it was almost not enough to protect them from the loud backlash.

Yet it was only the second most traumatizing thing the two would ever experience, because the thing that would beat it would come immediately afterwards.

Before the dust could even settle, the two women could hear a sickening series of fleshy grunts, whimpers, gurgles, gasps, snaps, cracks, pops (the reason why Ghost never liked rice crispy treats), crunches and other disturbing noises from the other side of the tree.

Almost too afraid to look, the two kunoichi slowly peeked around the tree they were hiding behind to see what the hell was going on.

What the women saw was beyond nauseating.

The man in front of them was constantly getting mutilated from the inside at levels that Anko would swear even Orochimaru would have trouble holding his lunch at seeing.

The worst of it was that each mutilation would take place in less than two seconds. Then, his body would erupt in black fire and emerge almost as good as new only to immediately repeat the process in an entirely new and nauseating way.

Anko was no stranger to obscure torture methods and often enjoyed taking off a prisoner's limb or two when asked to, but this was something else entirely. In less than a minute, she had seen the SAME MAN get decapitated, drawn and quartered, exploding in several places with various levels of power, twisted to several pieces repeatedly, skinned multiple times in quick succession, lacerated all over his body in record time, get poked full of holes (large, medium, and small), have his jaw ripped off, his throat torn out, all his joints bent in the directions that they were not supposed to bend, snapped in half, thirds, quarters, vertically **and** horizontally, among many other possible demises. And it was still happening.

The two could only watch in wonder and fear as the man suffered continuously. Hana lasted five minutes before she emptied her stomach in front of her. Anko lasted ten. Neither could look away.

o. o. o.

Thirty seven minutes.

Thirty seven minutes of what could only be described as a torture not even Hell would employ.

Most people would go insane after thirty seven seconds, let alone minutes, but Ghost always made it a point to let people know that he was not 'normal'.

Lying on the ground, the man mentally groaned. You would think after over 2000 years of this, a person would get used to unimaginable tortures of indescribable pain.

Channeling what little focus he had left, Ghost counted how many chain links had appeared on his right hand.

"A little over 1500." He muttered/whispered to himself. "Damn, I knew that this one was gonna be bad."

The huge pile of connected black links slowly retracted themselves into his skin as the man continued his wonderful impression of a cadaver.

It was only then that he noticed the presence of the two women that were very slowly walking up to his body to check if he was alive.

Alive.

How much did he hate the meaning of that word?

Oh yeah. A _lot_.

"I'm not dead yet." Ghost groaned out with a half assed British accent with as much humor as he could muster. The women of course wouldn't get the joke, but he needed to do something to lift his spirits, or the tension in the area would kill him. Again.

The kunoichi froze, amazed that he not only could still be conscious, but he could joke after such an experience.

Anko was the first to snap out of her stupor and try to get things under control. Getting back to her feet, the snake mistress started to feebly bark out orders. "Hana, take your mutts to the hospital and-"

"No." Ghost groaned, still not moving from his comfortable position in the dirt.

"Wh-what?" Hana stammered.

"I…" Ghost breathed out in a hoarse voice. "I'll be fine. Just give… give me a few minutes to… rest. Don't let, cough… anyone know of this. I can't show any weaknesses… Too dangerous to let anyone know, especially Danzō…"

Hana's and Anko's eyes widened. Hana had told Anko what she saw that night in the park while waiting to meet with the Hokage in the waiting room. It didn't take more than a few seconds for the two to connect the dots to understand that the war hawk would jump at any chance to weaken the new man's surprisingly strong grip on the council.

"All right." The Snake Mistress growled, attempting to make herself seem more in control of things than she actually was. "We won't tell anyone about this, but I expect to have some questions answered in payment."

Ghost chuckled dryly. "Heheheh, sure, why not?"

Anko's eye brow twitched. How was it that she was suddenly taking orders from a guy that could barely lift a finger, not to mention the guy that just cost her a few million ryō?

As she was pondering her method of revenge, she suddenly thought of something, evident by the disturbingly sadistic grin on her face as she looked down at the man.

Ghost could have sworn his sister had just come to kick his ass again.

The last of the chain links had just disappeared into his arm.

Before Hana or Ghost could tell what was going on, Anko had reached down and taken off Ghost's glasses, and became the first Konoha resident to look at his eyes…

o. o. o.

In another universe, several immensely complicated and delicate looking machines in a rather large and tricked out room blinked and sounded off repeatedly in response to detecting several unstable but distinctive pulses of energy from another plane of existence. The machines sent an almost undetectable message to their creator of their findings after recording all the data regarding the where and when of the event.

Several minutes later Scabbard walked into the room, straight to the machine and read the information on one of the screens in a second with just a glance. His expression softened as he read the pattern of energy, knowing only one thing could cause such a signal.

"It seems that your curse has taken effect again, brother." He muttered to no one in particular with a hint of sadness.

Activating another nearby machine that served as his personal portal to different worlds, the Legacy's Prophet started to mutate his body to his public appearance: a large dark grey wolf with several lightning green tips and a basic mechanical contraption consisting of two pieces of metal and a strong spring replacing the bottom half of his back right leg.

As the portal began to boot up, Scabbard locked his room so that no one else could enter without his permission unless they used extreme force. Of course, anyone in his family was capable of such feats, but the bill that came with breaking down his door was intimidating enough to stop even Crypt from breaking in.

If his brother had not come back yet, he either wanted to have some time to himself, or he wanted it to be a surprise for everyone else in the family. In either case, HE was the only one in the family that could keep a secret, and was the only one aside from Shadow that could get Ghost to act his age when he wanted to. Ghost had been gone long enough without sending word back to the family to warrant some curiosity.

As the portal finally sprang to life, a large, dark purple wormhole with a white dot in the center opened in front of the wolf. While this would have intimidated anyone else, Scabbard and the rest of his family were long since used to the spectacle.

"Let's see this world that has captured your attention so intensely."

o. o. o.

A/N

Sorry it took so long. I kinda bum rushed this chapter, so it might not be as good as some of the other ones. Each chapter is pretty damn long though (the later chapters are on average around 30+ pages 1.5 spaced!), and the first nine were already pre made to a small degree when I first started updating so the quality might take a hit.

Anyways! Polls!

Haku:

Boy:5

Girl: 15

Sarutobi:

Live:18

Die 2

Remember folks, I'm only doing the votes by the actual poll on my profile. The reviews are nice (please PLEASE keep on reviewing) but they don't count towards the poll, so if the thing you want is not ahead, then vote!

Did I mention to review? I got like… 10 reviews yesterday and I am stoked! Keep on talking people, you are beautiful!

And yes, more Naruto Hinata will be on the way. I just have to get some of these other characters involved somehow and Ghost is the best catalyst for the job at the moment, whether he likes it or not. Sasori is nothing compared to me. I am the **true** puppet master! Muahahahahahahahahaha!

New A/N

After much deliberation I have decided to only add a new chapter once a week. The reason for this is simply that my chapters are WAY too long to do a bi weekly update.

What I will do is update a new chapter every Friday, and every Monday I will replace that chapter with an upgraded, more detailed, and in general better version of that chapter without most of the mistakes that was on it before. Sorry if this disappoints many of you, but seriously… these latest chapters are far too big to make to be able to push out two a week.

Anyways… I love the reviews I've been getting lately, keep it up!

P.S. The character profiles on my profile have some spoilers… not a lot, but it does tell you what my OCs can do. If you already read them and were put off, sorry. If you don't care, go my profile.

P.P.S. Do my poll's kids! It's the cool, hip thing to do! ^_^


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 11:

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

o. o. o.

Ghost couldn't help but laugh at the situation he was in right now.

At the moment, the man was resting in the apartment of Konoha's most sadistic kunoichi, Anko Mitarashi, while said psychopath was taking a shower… if one could define resting as being in a tangled mess on the floor surrounded by a dozen poisonous snakes set to bite him if he even twitched funny.

After Anko and Hana got over their initial shock at seeing Ghost's eyes, the three decided that it would be unwise, or in Anko's words 'fucking retarded', to continue their activities in the Forest of Death considering two of the three just had their nerves shot to high holy hell watching the third person die in horrifyingly painful ways over a thousand times.

Since Ghost didn't have the key to Naruto's apartment at the moment, the only safe places to go to were either Anko's apartment or the Inuzuka clan compound. They quickly ruled out the clan compound, seeing that anyone on the council would jump at any additional information about Ghost. That, and Hana told them that it was that time of the month for her mom, and it was a general family rule to NEVER spring anything on her when she's in 'that mood'. Last time someone did… well Kuromaru's story about how he lost his ear to a crazy savage beast, while somewhat vague, is none the less true. Anko and Ghost agreed with Hana without any additional questions with wide eyes (Ghost had his glasses back at this point, but it didn't matter in this case).

Once they had made their decision on where to meet up, Ghost instructed Hana to go to the training grounds and tell everyone there that he had something to take care of and would be back by tomorrow. Frowning and acting as serious as he could, Ghost told them under no circumstances are they to tell ANYONE about what they had just seen, and in Hana's case what and who she will see at the training grounds. Both should be considered S-rank secrets. In the case that the three people that are supposed to be there are not, she was supposed to go straight to the Hokage and relay the same message, as he had no doubt that the Hokage would be the first person that Kakashi would go to after the peculiar show that he'd seen. She should tell the Hokage where he was staying for the rest of the day and that Ghost would explain everything to her and Anko, but that was it.

Nodding, Hana attempted to shake off the lingering shock in her system and disappeared into the woods, followed by her equally freaked out hounds.

Anko in the meantime had regained most of her lost senses, which unfortunately for Ghost did not include common sense, and realized that the one responsible for her failed plan was still lying on his back in front of her and unable to move. On the other hand, she knew that there was a time and place for revenge - neither were very specific - , and that torturing a guy that had only just died several hundred if not thousands of times was a bit cruel and unfair, even by her standards.

That being the case, the special jōnin roughly picked Ghost up like a sack of potatoes - he didn't complain, knowing that she could easily transport him in variety of far more uncomfortable ways - and quickly carried him back to her rundown apartment without being noticed. The second she got inside, Ghost found himself flying through the air for a total of two seconds before landing heavily on the ground, groaning. Anko was then about to tor- I mean interrogate her guest for all he was worth… when she noticed that she was covered in sweat, dirt, and unfortunately some of her own bile. While Anko was not someone that would ever win a cleanliness award, evident by the assortment of panties, bras, skirts, coats, bloody kunai, and food wrappers on the floor, she did have SOME standards.

Which leads us to our initial position, with Ghost re-enacting an Indiana Jones scene while Anko was in the shower.

_'Ugh. It's a good thing I was awake the entire time.'_ Ghost thought as he kept tabs on the snakes around his body. _'Otherwise, I would have assumed I got hammered last night and did something completely retarded again. This is what, the eighth time I've ended up in some chick's apartment surrounded by poisonous snakes? Is that an adder? Haven't seen one of those in a while…'_

Slowly adjusting his ailing body so that his hips and legs weren't cutting off his circulation while not provoking the snakes to add another mark to the number of times he'd died that day, Ghost got back on the topic at hand.

_'Ow. Man, over 2 millennia of getting feedbacks and it still takes forever for me to get some basic motor functions back every damn time. Oh well… at least I don't pass out anymore. …Much.'_

_'Okay, so, there are two skilled female killers that now have my attention, one of which is not afraid to demonstrate the killer bit. What to do… what to do.'_ He mentally sighed as he went over what he knew of the two women.

' _Anko Mitarashi, special jōnin, early twenties, size 36 DD breasts, Snake Mistress of Konoha and owner of an insanely short temper. Studied under Orochimaru, aka evil Japanese Michael Jackson RIP, who betrayed the village and in turn Anko, ruining her reputation in the village and amongst the council and thus making him number one on her to kill list. Extremely talented in most kunoichi focused areas, including assassination, poisons, taijutsu, weapon throwing. From the way she carries herself, she's also fairly competent in seduction arts, she just prefers to scare the living shit out of men more. Oh yeah, she also has that curse seal on her as well. I could do something about that…'_

Ghost pondered about the curse seal for a while, then decided to turn his attention to the other female assassin. _Hana Inuzuka. 17 years old, chūnin, apparently ANBU as well, which surprised me. Sister of Kiba Inuzuka and daughter of Tsume Inuzuka, leader of the Inuzuka clan. Her dog partners are three grey wolves known as the grey triplets. Also, she's apparently the village ninja animal vet… that could be useful. Being an animal doctor is much more difficult than being a human doctor due to having to deal with several different body types and configurations, including organs and bone structure. No doubt she must know some decent medical ninjutsu for field work as well as those meant for animals. Not as much as Tsunade or Kabuto, but enough to warrant some interest…_ The world traveler was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Anko open her bedroom door. As he turned his head to look at her, she flinched a little. He could hardly blame her, considering…

"Why do… never mind, I don't want to know." The freshly washed woman mumbled as she went to the kitchen and came out with two beers, tossing one to Ghost who immediately caught it despite the odd position his body was in. "Figured you might want one after… that." She sighed, not really in a mood to kill someone after taking a relaxing shower. The wonders that the cleaning process can perform on the female gender continue to grow.

"Thanks." He grunted, sitting his body up while praying that the woman's snakes would not bite him with their master around in a not-so-homicidal mood.

While to most people such actions would be unnecessary, Ghost was a different case. He had long since pissed off several extremely powerful deities that manage the balance of luck in the multiverse, and there had been many, _many_ instances where he had been on the shortest end of the luck stick. So far, he had been assaulted by a good portion of several zoos, eaten by at least two dozen 'docile' carnivorous plants, literally mauled by mobs of somewhat angry children at over a hundred birthday parties, sprayed in the face by 27 skunks in his sleep, is forbidden from entering a circus tent on seven planets … not that he minds, clowns scare the living shit out of him, and 'guessed wrong' on several occasions when picking up women at large carnivals. He needed severe counseling every time for those moments in particular...

Lucky for him, snake bites were not on his horoscope that day, and he managed to get himself in an upright position without getting any foreign substances injected into his blood stream. "So are you nice and clean for our big night, sweetie?" Ghost chuckled to Anko before taking his first sip of beer.

Her response was to almost mummify the poor man with the snakes that he'd unfortunately forgotten, were still surrounding him, and that he wasn't in physical shape to actually avoid. Fortunately, they didn't bite him this time.

"You better keep your tongue in check, boy," Anko growled, not really in the mood for games at the moment, "Otherwise I'll-"

"You'll what? Kill me?" Ghost interrupted in a somewhat sarcastic tone. Anko flinched and slowly backed away a little bit with what seemed like a look of regret on her face. If there was anyone else in the room, they would have told you that the temperature at that moment would have dropped drastically.

Calling off her snakes, Anko sighed. Dealing with this guy was going to be harder than she thought. While he did act like a brat most of the time, she could tell that there was FAR more to him than what she originally guessed. The look in his eyes… let alone the eyes themselves… there was no mistake that he had his own share of dark secrets to deal with, and apparently the show she had just been witness to was one of the bigger ones. Anko instinctively touched the side of her neck, where the curse mark that Orochimaru placed on her was as she stared off into space in deep thought.

"It looks like you have your own curse to deal with, too." Ghost said, grabbing what could be his only chance to take the initiative in this conversation. It had been about an hour since his little episode, but despite such an ordeal and how bad he looked, he was at about 20% at the moment, enough to get to someplace safe if he needed to.

Anko snapped her head and had a kunai in her hand before she even knew it, glaring at her guest. "How do you…" She growled.

"I hear things." He sighed nonchalantly and drinking some of the alcohol. "You happen to have one of the more interesting stories in the village… that isn't considered an S-rank secret at least…" He shrugged and gazed absently at the can. "From what I can tell from how you keep on reaching for the back of your neck, it must have been a pretty traumatizing experience. Painful too, in more ways than one…" He grinned weakly, unfazed by the angry woman's killing intent and sipping from the can of beer in his hand. "You probably still have some lingering feelings for him..."

Thunk.

The kunai had embedded itself in Ghost's hand, going straight through and half way into the can he was drinking, effectively pinning the container to his hand. Blood and beer were slowly leaking out of both ends of his hand, and no doubt some got into his drink. One would think that he would at least react to the alcohol on his wounds if not the wound itself, but there was really no reaction at all. "Don't you DARE tell me that I care for that pale ass monster!" She yelled while producing another kunai almost instantly.

What escaped the woman's notice was that the man she had just impaled made no reaction to being skewered in the first place. What she did see was him taking another sip of his drink as if nothing had happened.

"Mmmm," He muttered as he pondered the taste of the concoction, completely ignoring the woman he just royally pissed off. "Bloody beer. Don't really get why Crypt likes the stuff so much. Too bitter for my taste." He turned to Anko. "You're a sadist right? Can you tell me what the hell is so good about it?"

Her temper rising, Anko was split between tearing this guy a new one and actually trying the drink, though she was drastically leaning toward the former. It then hit her that he had no reaction to his hand getting a kunai stuck in it. This only confused the purple haired jōnin some more, resulting in even more unbridled anger at the unfazed man.

"Will you STOP MOCKING ME!" She erupted, lunging at the man for a second time.

"And here I was about to offer you some aid with some of your more… prominent problems in life." Ghost sighed.

Anko stopped so quickly that her coat snapped loudly in protest. There were only a handful of things that she would actually consider prominent problems. Unfortunately for her, all of them were almost impossible to deal with to her knowledge. "Wh-What?" She whispered, not sure what emotion to convey at that moment as her body slowly straightened up again. "What do you mean by that?"

Ghost smirked. "Orochimaru and the seal he placed on you. I can provide services to fix both problems if you agree to help me on a little… experiment I'm working on."

Anko's eyes widened before narrowing angrily. "Experiment?" She growled.

Ghost winced as he realized his apparent poor choice in words. "No! No! Not THAT kind of experiment! I'm not a mad scientist type! And if I need women to achieve my goals I would try to woo them with my incredible charm instead of bribe them." He raised his good arm in self-defense.

Anko deadpanned and had a throbbing vein at the same time. If his idea of wooing a woman was groping them at first sight, then he must have A LOT of unfinished projects. "I highly doubt that YOU can solve my problems." She growled in a tired manner. "Snake face is one of the freaking Sannin and is incredibly powerful. As for this," She pointed to the seal on her neck, "what makes you think that you would be able to get this off me when dozens of qualified seal masters failed to?"

Ghost simply smirked while taking another sip of his vampiric beverage, settling himself on the floor again. "Well, to be perfectly honest, me and the other people involved in this little project, including the Hokage, were going to off the long tongued freak eventually anyways with or without you. Within the next couple of years in fact." Her body tensed, "As for the sealing, I have a lot of contacts that most people don't know about. Some of these contacts I have I already planned to ask for help with making a special bloodline seal for a certain all-seeing clan." Anko's eyes widened so much that Ghost could have sworn that she could have had better vision than said clan.

"How…" Anko spoke slowly, realizing that this guy could be her answer from the heavens. She didn't detect any sort of lie or deception coming off him. He was a bit too jolly at the moment for her taste, but that didn't matter. She was feeling something that she had not experienced for years. Hope. "How are they at removing seals? A-Are they that good?"

Ghost sighed. "Anko, I thought you were good at thinking things through, being a special jōnin and all."

She frowned, her temper rising again. "What the hell do you mean?"

"Ugh. Okay, think of it this way. You know that I fixed the fur ball's seal, right?" His host nodded, acknowledging that he'd messed around with probably the most complicated seal in the village, if not the whole shinobi world. All the shinobi of special jōnin and up in Konoha knew of the man's relationship with the Kyūbi jinchūriki by this point. "Well, if I have some other projects involving sealing that I feel more comfortable leaving in the hands of someone else that I know… wouldn't that mean that I am admitting that said people are more proficient in sealing than I am?" Anko's eyes widened in understanding.

"Would they help me?" She whispered, not willing to trust her voice at this point.

"You? No." Ghost answered bluntly without any remorse while drinking some more beer. Anko's world nearly shattered right there. "Me? Yes." He continued. "Which means that if you wanna say good bye to that warped hickey of doom on your neck, you gotta work for me. Think of it this way. In addition to getting the seal off, you also get a satisfaction bonus of pissing off the turd that gave it to you in the first place. Not a bad deal if I say so myself, considering what I want you to do is relatively simple…"

Anko frowned. "What DO I have to do, oh lord and savior?" She spat out sarcastically, though there wasn't much force behind it. On the inside, she was practically begging to be told what to do in order to get rid of the two banes of her life. She was just praying that he wouldn't ask for something completely absurd or suicidal in return.

Just as she finished speaking, the door opened as Hana walked in with her three hounds right behind her. Ghost grinned before pausing and starting to sway faintly from side to side. "A small list of things. Most of them fairly simple. For now, you can help me convince Hana to join in the project as well." He looked at his impaled hand and for the first time acknowledged that he had a kunai stuck in it, and chuckled lightly in false amusement. "Even though I have a high tolerance of pain, it doesn't mean I can't feel anything, nor does it mean I'm immune to standard bodily reactions to excessive blood loss. That being the case, could you also ask her to heal my hand? I think I'm going into shock."

o. o. o.

Naruto was walking through town without a care in the world.

After Ghost's freak out, Kakashi told Naruto and Hinata that training was canceled for the rest of the day and headed towards the Hokage tower to inform the old man of this latest development. Kakashi could be very convincing when he wanted to be.

It was because of his experience with the man that Naruto was not that worried about Ghost, even after he felt the massive pressure from the direction he left in and the obscure echoing scream. Aside from his immense pain, Ghost seemed to know what was happening to himself. If he wanted help, Ghost would have asked for help. The man was not above asking others for advice, and was uncommonly honest with other people. If a person asked him a question he did not want to answer, he would simply say something like "I would answer that question, but it would be a pain in the ass to answer the questions that would follow it, so I won't." Or something else along those lines.

While annoying, it was somewhat refreshing to not have to over think about everything he had said to find some kind of secret message.

On a completely unrelated note, Naruto failed to notice as he walked down the streets… that Hinata was stalking him throughout the village again.

Ever since she had started training, the heiress was determined to figure out what Naruto's secret was. She knew there was something that the villagers knew about the blonde that she didn't. Why else would they stare at him with scathing eyes that outmatched the ones she received at home? Eyes of scorn, hate, and absolute loathing. Eyes that should be aimed at a murderer or a child molester, not a child. As she followed Naruto through the town, she witnessed countless villagers glare at her crush, who in turn, simply walked through without a care in the world. It did seem a bit more extreme than normal today, as many of the villagers would scream or panic and run away from the blonde upon sight, though she assumed that was due to the odd pressure and roar that was made earlier that wound them up before Naruto came by.

Even though she didn't know why, she could tell that it would be a lot worse if he didn't have his transformation up, making him look like he did a month ago.

Speaking of changes, other than his physical appearance and slight maturation, the blonde had made some fashion changes as well. He had taken to walking with the front of his jumpsuit un-zippered to reveal the black t-shirt underneath, which she admitted made him look cooler than before, but unfortunately he had also stopped wearing the goggles he normally donned on his forehead altogether. It saddened her that he didn't wear the goggles that she secretly got him for his birthday the previous year. When Naruto asked Ghost why he should stop wearing the goggles, Ghost responded that they would get in the way of his break dancing and he would probably… well, break them. He couldn't wear it around his neck either due to its unusual shape and weight. The thing would most likely give him a rash or crush his throat if he wore it as such. To Hinata's joy though, Naruto told her when she asked him what he did with the goggles that he put them in his box of special personal items under the floor boards of his apartment. It was somewhat comforting for her to know that he trusted her with the location of his most prized possessions.

She did have to admit though, he looked pretty damn good with his bangs loose. (A/N: Seriously… he does. I'm a straight male and for all intents and purposes I am saying that the kid looks A LOT better, or in many heterosexual male's terms: badass, without his forehead protector on.)

As the heiress wiped the third trail of blood that ran from her nose that day, the source of her hard core adult rated fantasies entered his favorite ramen stand. Even though he had just eaten Hinata's obscenely delicious meal only a couple of hours beforehand, it didn't last long in the boy's incredibly fast metabolism. Hinata didn't blame him for getting hungry again so soon. Most of the meals she was taught from the Branch members were high in nutrients and low in carbs. Very healthy and easy to make, but not very filling. "Oi! Old man! Get me some ramen ASAP!"

"Naruto!" Teuchi yelled in joy. "Where have you been this past month? My income has slowed to a crawl without you!" Ayame appeared almost instantly and whacked her father upside the head with her ladle. "I mean, we missed you!"

"Yeah, Naruto-kun!" Ayame added, pretending that she did not just assault her father with the family's kitchenware. "What have you been up to? We heard you dropped out of the academy!"

"WHAT!" Naruto screamed loud enough to be heard through half the village. Amazingly, no ear drums were ruptured by said outcry.

"Yeah. I didn't believe it either." The stand owner chuckled while setting up Naruto's meal. "That Inuzuka kid is a decent enough customer and all, but I'm guessing that his mouth took up some of the space his brain is supposed to have. I remember one time a few weeks ago he was bragging to… no one really, but he was ranting about how all the girls in his class were hanging off his arms with hearts in their eyes after seeing how strong he was after he one-sided the Uchiha in a sparring session." He snickered.

Hinata, still spyi-… stal-… OBSERVING the conversation, mentally scoffed at the reference. In actuality, Sasuke completely dominated the fight and left the poor boy covered in welts and bruises. She would have to remind her classmate later the difference between stretching the truth and a complete fantasy. She would use the term lie, but after the beating he received, Hinata wouldn't be surprised that he hallucinated the entire thing after he passed out.

"Bah! Dog breath doesn't know what he's talking about." Naruto growled, plotting several revenge pranks while speaking. "I had an … incident a month ago, and I have to take a few months off to get my body back to normal. Unfortunately, getting my body back to normal involves me increasing the range of my diet so that I heal the right way. Don't worry though, it's nothing the future Hokage can't handle." He chuckled slightly nervously. Naruto didn't want to lie to two of his first precious people, but he had to keep what he was doing a secret in order to change things for the better.

"Really?" The owner asked, filling the large bowl in his hand with ramen. "You look like you're in good shape to me." Teuchi frowned a bit while serving the 'Naruto' sized miso ramen to his favorite customer. He had known the boy long enough to know that there was something else the kid wasn't telling them, something big. Whenever the boy hesitated even a little bit when answering a question, there was something troubling in the answer, which was not necessarily what Naruto gave. He loved the kid like a close relative, but thinking before speaking was something the boy had yet to really make a habit of.

Another thing that troubled the ramen stand owner was the length of time it would take for the boy to 'recover' from his incident… which he still hasn't spoken about yet. It was common knowledge in town that the boy had a healing factor. He could withstand the most unbelievable torments and injuries and recover from then within a matter of weeks, which was unfortunately often the case a few years back. He had never heard of any cases where the blonde was in such bad shape that he had to be in recovery for over three weeks. Whatever caused Naruto to have to leave the academy for three whole months must have been severe…

Which reminded him of a somewhat disturbing rumor that he heard recently. Word on the street was that "Some foreign freak is protecting the Kyūbi brat and tweaking with the seal with the council's approval." It went on to say that the seal was weak for a few months, weak enough that one of the standard beatings could possibly let the nine tailed fox loose again.

Teuchi wasn't a ninja, but he did have some skill at connecting the dots since he frequently talked to his customers and listened to their problems… that, and detecting transformation techniques thanks to Naruto frequently using his stand as a hiding spot from angry mobs or angry chūnin who were just pranked. It didn't take him long to remember the man with long hair and sunglasses that appeared to know the boy a month ago (or his fabulous dancing style), and how he took the blonde and the lazy Nara kid off somewhere after eating while watching the two youths wrestle each other for an hour.

He also noted that Naruto was under one of his transformations… as himself? "Naruto…" The ramen man started in a questioning tone. "Why are you transformed?"

Naruto froze and paled drastically. "Wh-What are you talking about old man?" He asked nervously. "I look the same as usual."

"Don't brush it off boy." He half growled, half sighed. "I've hidden you so many times and seen you transform more than enough to know you're hiding something." He put on a worried look. "Did the mobs get to you again?" he whispered.

Naruto sweated as he started to panic. Teuchi was one of his few precious people and knew him well enough to tell when he was lying, but he didn't think he was ready to show the village his new look yet.

Thinking back on his lessons with Ghost and Hinata with dealing with villagers and other people in hopes of finding a solution to his predicament, Naruto remembered something he once heard from Ghost.

" _When staying in any village, the general population will generally be split between two kinds of people. The ones you can trust with some of your secrets, and everyone else. Make no mistake that it is difficult to tell the difference, but if you know for a fact that a person is part of the first group, don't let them go and don't give them reason to join the other. If this means occasionally telling something you are hiding to someone, then go for it. It might occasionally bear fruit where you would least expect it…"_

Sighing to himself, Naruto swore mentally for backing himself into a corner. Checking to see if anyone else was watching or in the stand, Naruto let loose a breath of relief as no one was there (except for the still unnoticed Hinata). "Okay, you got me." He admitted quietly over his bowl of ramen. "I'll show you what's under the transformation, but please don't tell anyone."

Teuchi stared at the boy. "Naruto, you have been eating here for years. You're almost like family here." He smiled softly. "I won't tell a soul."

"Me neither Naruto-kun." Ayame agreed smiling while exiting the kitchen with a ladle. "Anyone who wants to hurt my little brother has to go through me."

Naruto gulped for two reasons. One was because he was going to show his new self to two of the people he trusted most in the world. The other was because he had seen what Ayame could do with that ladle and did not want to be on the wrong end of it. He had always wondered if she had some ninja training after she managed to take down two violent drunk chūnin in record time, without a scratch, armed with only her favorite kitchen appliance. Naruto was relieved that he had already gotten his meal before the genocide occurred. He did not want to eat anything that was served with a blood covered kitchen accessory. Teuchi was too scared to answer Naruto's questions regarding the subject. Even when his daughter wasn't there.

Poof.

As the white cloud disappeared, the ramen family's eyes widened. Whatever they were expecting, it wasn't Naruto's new appearance.

"Naruto…" they spoke in unison.

"You get why I have the thing up in the first place now?" Said blonde muttered in a low voice, trying his hardest not to look away.

Their response was instant. Ayame rushed around the stand and hug the poor boy with tears in her eyes while Teuchi simply put on a gentle, but worried smile.

Behind the fence a few meters away, Hinata smiled gently with tears in her eyes. She knew that Naruto's new appearance was something that unnerved her crush, and it comforted her to know that the people he trusted did not think any differently about him because of it.

She was a bit surprised at what she heard next.

"So." Teuchi said in a low voice. "Does that mean that you…"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. Gramps told me everything about it after I got my new look." Naruto half lied. He still felt bad about it, but there was too much at stake to let them know ALL his secrets. Teuchi and Ayame didn't catch the small fib.

"Naruto, I'm sorry we couldn't tell you. You deserved to know, more than anyone else, but with the third's law…" Teuchi continued.

"It's okay. Gramps told me why he did it. It hurt at first knowing he was hiding something like that from me, but as bad as it was, he did do it thinking of my protection and wellbeing. It just didn't work out the way he hoped." He looked down. "It still kind of hurts though. The reason why everyone hates me is because of my idol." ' _My father.'_

Teuchi and Ayame remained silent, supporting Naruto just by being there. Naruto was simply glad for someone normal to be there for him like family. He was still getting used to Ghost being there, Hinata was only now starting to open up more, Shikamaru was a lazy ass, the old man was busy with work, and Kakashi was … Kakashi. It was nice to be truly accepted by people whose job in life was not fighting or killing.

Hinata on the other hand was silent for an entirely different reason.

_'The Fourth? What did he do to Naruto? The Third had a special law about Naruto? What was it, and why haven't I ever heard of it?'_ She thought franticly, trying to piece together the new chunks of information that she had overheard. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't see Naruto finish his meal and leave in the direction of the Hokage's tower…

o. o. o.

Sarutobi was having a rough day.

First, his grandson had tried to 'assassinate' him while he was eating breakfast, causing a huge mess and giving the poor old man only enough time to get a small cup of coffee into his stomach and the remains of his three eggs off said stomach. He had just washed that set of robes too…

Finally arriving at his office, Sarutobi had to deal with the bane of all Kage: paperwork. Constant signing of near useless documents had long since started a painful cramp in his wrists. How he managed to form any hand seals at high speed now was beyond him. Probably muscle memory. Oh, what he would give to have some sort of answer to his paper problems. Every day, he was that much closer to committing grand arson of his office and the main paper room… after taking out anything that he actually needed and valued of course.

His rogue thoughts were interrupted right after lunch by a sound that chilled him to his bones, and not in the way that seeing a new pile of paperwork would give him. A loud and clear scream, neither truly human nor monster but more of a hybrid reverberated throughout the village, unlike anything he had heard of before. It had been a long time since he had heard something that made him so scared.

Then the entire village was hit with… well for all intents and purposes it would be called killing intent, only there was no 'killing' part to it. It was more like a massive sensation that simply existed everywhere and passed by like a storm or some other massive natural phenomenon. Whatever it was though, Sarutobi knew it was connected to Ghost, and it was HUGE. Easily on par with the Kyūbi if not greater, yet it was not as menacing or rancid either. The pressure's feel was similar to Ghost's, similar to his killing intent that he flared several weeks earlier, yet unfocused and sporadic. This had Sarutobi's attention in particular. Unstably unleashing chakra to that high levels was extremely concerning for anyone and only a handful of things could possibly explain such phenomena. The most common explanations for such events were either the mechanism that held the power back was faltering in some way, the container of the power itself was becoming unstable, or the power was undergoing some sort of change… none of the three were appealing to the aged warrior considering that the individual at the source of the event could screw around with immense amounts of time space…

Of course his musings about what could be happening to his new ally were quickly put on hold because within seconds of first detecting the rogue energy, Sarutobi's office was swamped with several ANBU, and soon after THAT several council members, several screaming about the Kyūbi getting loose.

The Third Hokage mustered all his focus to raise his killing intent high enough to just gain everyone's attention and shut them up. He then went on to reason that it wasn't the Kyūbi, it was something else that was not safe to talk about now, and if it was the Kyūbi, they would have seen it. By the time he finished explaining, the intent around the village had disappeared, and Kakashi had somehow slipped into the room without anyone noticing. According to reports from the shinobi tasked with damage assessment, aside from a few shocked elderly and some unnerved citizens and ninja, there were no damages worth noting to the village. The source of the energy was unknown, but it pointed to the Forest of Death.

After everyone else left under the threat of becoming Enma's new sparring partner and setting up his privacy barrier, Sarutobi interrogated Kakashi on what the hell had happened, rubbing the bridge of his nose and beating down an incredible headache in the process. Just what he needed; a potential major flaw in the orchestrator of this whole time traveling situation. Perfect.

Just as he was about to call for his ANBU to search the Forest of Death for anything suspicious, a rather frantic series of knocks sounded off at the door. Glancing at Kakashi… who was reading his po…I mean science fiction novel, the Third sighed and opened said door.

In rushed Hana Inuzuka, with her mask on of course. Sarutobi noted that she appeared to be out of breath and was quite skittish at the moment. "Hokage-sama." Hana bowed in respect. "I bring you a message from Gho-" She stopped herself after noticing Kakashi in the room.

"It is alright Jackal." The third sighed. "He is among those I trust when it comes to Ghost… or rather, he is one of the ones Ghost can trust."

Hana paused, grasping a hold of the situation. From the way the Hokage was talking about the man… no, she had more important things to focus on. Shaking her head, the teen continued with her report. "Ghost-san has given me a message to give to you if the three ninja at a training area he told me about were absent."

"Ah. Sorry about that. I told the kids to have the day off after Ghost ran away. I didn't think anyone would be coming back for the rest of the day…" Kakashi said in a carefree tone while reading his book. Hana stared at the jōnin.

_'So he was there? If so, I can only assume that Uzumaki was as well. His scent was all over the place when I got there. But then who was the third person I detected? It couldn't have been a Hyūga… could it?'_

"Jackal?"

"Ah… my apologies Hokage-sama. I was just thinking about the state the training ground was in and remembering a long meter deep trench in the ground of the training area. It looked fresh…"

Sarutobi looked at Kakashi who raised his hands up in defense. "Don't look at me. Ghost was the one who took off at the speed of Gai with seven gates open screaming his head off."

The room was silent as Hana processed this information. Gai Maito was known as the village's leading taijutsu expert, and was also known to be incredibly fast even without accessing any of the celestial gates. With them…

"Jackal-san… I believe you had a message for me?" Sarutobi asked patiently. He could hardly blame the girl either. The more he learned about Ghost, the more he wanted to hang up his hat and pass the job to Jiraiya or Tsunade to avoid dealing with all the crap that was sent his way… or Naruto if what Kakashi had told him was true.

"Y-Yes." Hana stuttered. "Ghost-san wished me to inform you that he would be back at the training ground tomorrow at the normal time, and that if you wished to contact him he would be staying the night at Mitarashi-san's dwelling. He also desires that you do not attempt to find out what happened to him, as he stated it was rather… personal."

It didn't take more than a few seconds for Kakashi and Sarutobi to connect the dots. "You and Anko were there when… whatever it was happened?" Kakashi asked.

"…Y-Yes. However Ghost-san t-told me quite clearly not to divulge what I… saw." Hana managed to get out, getting faint again remembering the horrors that she had seen.

Sarutobi observed the ANBU for a few moments before he sighed. "You look ill, Jackal. Please take the rest of the day off after informing Ghost that Kakashi and I received his message."

"Thank you Hokage-sama." Hana replied, relieved to have something divert her attention.

Just as she opened the door to exit, Kakashi spoke up in a somewhat grave tone. "Was it really that bad?"

Hana paused. "Kakashi-senpai. As an ANBU and as an experienced kunoichi, I have witnessed a great deal of things in my career. I have seen people disfigured and tortured, villages razed to the ground, and small children turned into mindless killing tools. I have even witnessed several videos of Orochimaru's more disturbing human experiments, as is standard procedure for all ANBU units who are tasked with dealing with unknown elements within the village." Taking a deep breath, Hana turned around. "What I saw today will haunt me for the rest of my life, and I have no doubt that Mitarashi-san will agree with me as well. I will never be able to look at that man again without what I had just witnessed flashing before my eyes every few seconds and what I heard echoing in the background. How he can manage to act as he does for the rest of his life after his ordeal eludes me, and goes against any sort of logic out there, let alone twenty seconds after it finished."

"…Whatever he is, Hatake-san, Hokage-sama, he isn't human… at least, he isn't anymore." With that, Hana shunshined out of the tower in the direction of Anko's apartment.

The room was quiet for several minutes while Kakashi and Sarutobi contemplated what Hana had just said.

"Your thoughts, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi muttered.

Hiruzen remained quiet for several seconds before leaning back his chair with a long deep breath. "To be perfectly honest Kakashi… I am not surprised at all." Kakashi raised his good eyebrow. "From what you have told me about Naruto's future… as limited as it is, that boy seems to cause chaos and change wherever he goes, changing everything just by being there. So much so that he has received the attention of someone as… unique, as Ghost."

"That man in a way… reminds me of Naruto. Loud, obnoxious, rude, and seemingly careless to a fault. But he is also kind and goes out of his way to help others by pushing them in the right direction instead of forcing them, despite his level of strength and experience… and apparently he has his own painful burdens to bear as well. You could say that the only major difference between the two is the sheer amount of experience the elder apparently has. I'm beginning to think that Naruto's choice of calling him 'Ero-nii' is more appropriate then he realizes."

The room remained silent for a few more minutes while Kakashi contemplated what his leader just said. "I'll report tomorrow on anything I find about Ghost." The cyclops announced before disappearing into the floor.

"Please do." Sarutobi sighed and contemplated what his next step would be in managing the council.

… This thought process only lasted fifteen seconds before Naruto kicked open the door. "Hey Old Man! Did ya miss me?"

_'Why am I not surprised?'_ The old man grumbled to himself.

"Get back here, you brat! I said that the Hokage doesn't have time for the likes of you!" screamed a high pitched female secretary from the side of the doorway.

"And I already told you that you shouldn't be giving orders to your future boss, you hag!" Naruto countered without a moment's hesitation.

Sarutobi deadpanned. Well, at least THIS was still normal. "It's okay, Naruto is welcome in to visit me anytime he wishes. I thought you would know this by now… for my hearing's sake."

As Naruto closed the door behind him, Sarutobi set up his privacy seals yet again… they're set to turn off whenever someone enters or leaves the room.

"So… apparently it's been GAH!" the old man started before getting the wind knocked out of him via tackle hug from a shaking Naruto.

"Naruto?" Sarutobi manage to breathe out.

"I missed you." The boy's muffled voice emerged from into the old man's robes. "When you died… I… I didn't know who I could turn to. Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan were still focused on Sasuke… and the Ichiraku's were hurt in the invasion and the people in the Hospital still didn't like me and… I…"

The Third was speechless. He knew that Ghost had told everyone not to tell him about the future… but was it so bad that Naruto started to break down only days after his bloody end? "It's okay, Naruto." He comforted the boy, patting his head. "We have another chance at this."

Naruto nodded and separated himself from his grandfather figure, wiping the tears from his eyes. This only made Sarutobi even more concerned. Naruto NEVER cried, and if he was now after three years of his absence, it must have been really bad.

Silence.

"Gramps?" Naruto asked, his longer hair overshadowing his eyes.

"Yes Naruto?"

"If you ever tell anyone about this, I will use the Harem technique on you in the middle of public." Naruto said as he raised his head and flashed his slit blue eyes. (Another trick Ghost and Naruto found out due to Naruto's new transformation was that if Naruto focused a little bit of chakra to his eyes, depending on how fast and how much he focused his chakra, he would either make his eyes glow or gain better eye sight. Of course the two thought that the glowing eyes was better and cooler than being able to see better and immediately started to come up of ways to exploit it to freak people out.)

Sarutobi sweat dropped. "Duly noted." Getting back to his chair, the old man sighed. "So, public humiliation aside… why did it take you this long to see me anyway?"

The blonde laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Well, I didn't want to see you while I was still in the middle of getting the hang of my body's changes. I would look stupid if I just started bragging about all the amazing things I've done when I couldn't even walk right could I? Also…" He sighed. "It took some time to actually get used to the fact that you were really alive again…"

"I understand completely, Naruto. I have had to fake the deaths of some of my shinobi before, and reuniting them with their loved ones when it is safe isn't as a simple process as you might think..." His wrinkled face slowly put on a smirk. "Regardless, about your so called achievements…Wind style: Rasenshuriken?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow… then smirked, the previous insecurities in his system already kicked out of his body. "Yep."

"Am I to assume that this is that super special awesome S-Rank technique that you were ranting about that you would make that could beat any opponent hands down?" Sarutobi asked in a halfway joking tone.

Naruto's grin widened. "Well I don't like to brag, but I was thinking of trying to make another move that would be even better than that. I can't take all the credit of making Rasenshuriken since half of it was technically already made by m- I mean the Fourth." Naruto stuttered at the end.

"Your father." Sarutobi corrected while Naruto's eyes widened. "You don't have to beat around the bush Naruto, Kakashi and Ghost told me all about-"

"Ero-nii KNOWS?" Naruto blew up, making the elder warrior flinch. "I knew that the bastard knew a lot… but even THIS?"

Sarutobi was regretting his slip of the tongue. Despite his increase in maturity, Naruto still had the bad habit of taking out his frustrations on those responsible via pranking and public humiliation. It didn't help that the boy's average skills according to Kakashi were now around low jōnin… and that he'd been pulling pranks on the masses of the village since he was 7.

The old man knew that Ghost was going to skin him alive for this… and then rub pure alcohol and salt on his wounds… for a starter. "Haaah. Yes, he knew you knew Naruto. In fact… he was a bit… displeased that I did not tell you while I was alive." The Third took a deep breath, knowing he was going a bit past his boundaries here. "In his eyes, I was the first among many to fail you."

"Fail me?"

"Yes, failed you, Naruto. You, and everyone else in Konoha, and to be perfectly honest I agree with him." Sarutobi lowered his head in shame. "I failed to notice how much you were truly suffering at the hands of the villagers, placing my faith in them above your wellbeing. I failed to capture or defeat Orochimaru when he was right in front of me, before he ran away from the village and became the monster that he is now. I failed to truly defend the village from the invasion. I failed to get rid of Danzō and his ROOT organization. I failed to stop the Uchiha from getting too far before it was too late." Naruto's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't know anything about what happened to Sasuke's family.

"I failed to truly help Sasuke after his horrific experience and ensure his mental health, despite the obvious scars the event left behind. I failed to ensure that you would receive information about your lineage in case Jiraiya, Tsunade and I died before you became of age." Sarutobi was shaking at this point, tears cascading down his face. "I have too many marks against me for me to truly believe I deserve to wear this hat now. The only reason why I do so is to correct at least some of these mistakes to ensure a better future." The old man put on a care free grin. "The second the invasion is dealt with, I'm sending a messenger to Tsunade to get her gambling ass back here to take this god forsaken hat off my wrinkled old head."

Naruto said nothing as he walked up to the Hokage and hugged him, again. "Gramps." Naruto spoke in all seriousness. "I've been through a lot since you died. I have earned the respect of the villagers, defeated powerful enemies, created a forbidden technique and insulted the Kyūbi in his face." The old man snorted at that, "But the hardest thing I have ever had to do was to forgive myself for what I have done to others… and to forgive others for what they have done to me… and try to make things right. I am a bit sad that you never told me anything about who and what I am, but I know you thought it was best for me at the time, so I forgive you."

Sarutobi slowly smiled. ' _The will of fire certainly does burn brightly with this generation…'_ He mused as he felt a significant weight lift off his old shoulders. "Ghost gave us another chance… but he said that the major changes are up to us to do as we please. He was simply giving us advice from his own perspective and experience." He gave out a rusty chuckle. "Out of all the things that he has told me over this past few months, the one thing he said that I agree with most was something that every person has heard of numerous times: Hindsight is a complete bitch."

Naruto was quiet for a few minutes before giving out a full, yet dry chuckle of his own. "I hear that old man. Don't think I've ever heard you swear though."

The Hokage chuckled darkly. "Give me a break brat, I got stabbed through the chest by my old student and had the Shinigami eat my damn soul for god's sake. I deserve a little leniency, don't you think?"

"We'll see." Naruto laughed.

"I have to admit though." The third continued. "That man is rather interesting. Was that him causing that commotion a couple of hours ago?"

Naruto shrugged. "Most likely. Ero-nii's powerful enough to turn back time… so something like that wouldn't surprise me." Sarutobi sweat dropped in acknowledgement of Naruto's statement. He continued. "It does concern me in how much pain he was in… but if he actually needed help, he would have asked for it. Despite how strong he is, Ero-nii doesn't beat around the bush when it comes to things he's not used to. If he's not good at something, he'll say it. If he needs help, he'll ask without hesitation. If it was really dangerous, he would have told us to run away or to brace ourselves instead of actually focusing his powers and running away."

Sarutobi blanched. Remembering Kakashi's report, he tried to connect the dots between that and what Naruto just said. "Naruto… by focusing his powers, do you mean those wings that Kakashi told me about earlier?"

"Ah." Naruto stalled. "I don't know if he would like us to talk about it. He gets kinda quiet and evasive if I try to get him to talk about how _those_ powers work, or his past."

"Those powers?"

"Well," Naruto hesitated, "By those powers, I mean his wings and… that power. He made me promise not to talk about that one in particular. He REALLY doesn't like talking about it for some reason. Said something about cursed memories…"

Sarutobi's ninja senses were tingling at this, and would bet his next collector's edition of Icha-Icha that this secret power and Ghost's sudden breakdown were directly related. "Then could you tell me about his wings?"

Naruto paused, thinking heavily. "I… Guess?"

"Well?"

"I… only saw them once before today. It was when he… changed everything, when I first met him." Naruto started, thinking about how to word the experiences the right way and immediately gaining Sarutobi's attention. "The second they started to come out… it's hard to describe. The power he was giving off… it was like, like staring down a hundred Kyūbi who all have you in their sights. Wings of pure white bone extending from his back as natural for him as a person using their fingers. It was hard to breathe, think, move, to do anything around the guy. The only thing you could do was stay as still as possible and hope you don't lose yourself. Then…"

"Then?" Sarutobi asked at the edge of his seat. If anyone walked in right now, they would have told you that it was like watching a grandparent reading an action story to their grandchild… only reversed.

"I… I can't tell you everything old man." Naruto said slowly, gathering his thoughts. "At that point, the powers kinda mix… so I'm limited in what I can say."

Sarutobi sighed. "Understandable… just tell me what you can."

Naruto paused, trying to filter out what he could say and what he couldn't. "I, I think his wings work like my tails. When they show up… or when they change represents another level of his power… because when he changed again" Naruto breathed heavily, "When he changed for a second time, I thought the world was going to end."

The two were quiet as they realized that in a way… it did.

The Third Hokage gulped as the room dropped in temperature. "What… what changes can you tell me Naruto?"

"Sigh. The only thing I can say about the transformation… is that he puts on a shattered mask."

"A shattered mask?"

"A pitch black mask fixes itself onto his face piece by piece, situating itself around his glasses. When it's fully on it looks like a glass that had something hit it really hard, originating from his left eye. The glasses and the cracks are all pure white, I mean whiter than anything you have ever seen before, it makes the Byakugan look like spoiled milk… and we both know that I know what spoiled milk looks, and tastes like."

Sarutobi sweat dropped, remembering the several incidents where he visited Naruto's apartment and checked its condition. How the boy managed to befriend an actual family of raccoons was beyond him. "Is that all you can tell me?"

"Did Sensei tell you about what he knew about Ero-nii's other powers?"

"You mean his self-time-space manipulation and air manipulation?"

"Yeah, aside from that and his sealing skills, that's pretty much his whole arsenal… although he is also a pretty good at taijutsu as well. Whenever we spar, I can't seem to get a hit on him no matter what I do. Neither can Hinata-chan, and she's a lot better at taijutsu than I am."

"Even when you use your clones or use Sage Mode?"

"You heard of that too, huh?" Naruto grinned before frowning in frustration again. "Yeah, even when I pull all the stops I can't land a blow. He either moves out of the direct path of the attack with minimal effort or blows past me so fast I can't even see him. If I try to swarm him, he just pulls out his weird style where he punches and kicks at weird angles while break dancing and destroys half the clones before I can even tell where he is. It makes me wonder if the Shadow Clone technique was made for people like him. Even if the clones aren't as strong as the original, they still have the same skills. You simply can't hit the guy."

"Have you tried tricking or trapping him?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

Naruto deadpanned. "Old man, you are talking to the guy who takes down S-rank missing-nin with those. Nothing works. He won't stay still if he thinks something up, and he has no trouble getting close and personal if he needs to keep a person busy. Even if I did manage to get everything in place, he simply goes through the smallest openings you could think of and comes out unharmed. The only thing I can think of that might even remotely work is a wide scale jutsu, not a powerful one, just one that can reach all angles quickly and at the same time. That or someone who could actually keep up with him in terms of speed, but I don't think that anyone like that exists here aside from Gai-sensei, maybe."

"I see." The old man commented as he stored away the unofficial report in his mind for future reference. "Regardless of your failures there, Kakashi did say that you and Hinata have been excelling at incredible rates though." He paused for a moment. "Speaking of Hinata," Sarutobi grinned as Naruto's faltered slightly, "I heard you two are getting closer." Naruto didn't like the look in the old man's eyes. "'Bout damn time."

"OH COME ON! YOU TOO? EVEN NOW?"

The Hokage smiled evilly. "Naruto, everyone in town pretty much knows that she has a crush on you. There's even a pool in the ANBU ranks on whether you would actually notice her first or she would confess to you. From my understanding and what Kakashi told me, the majority won that bet."

"Remind me again why I want to protect this village?"

"Because Hinata would be disappointed in you if you didn't."

"… despite there being better answers, you had to pick the one that would make me the most guilty, didn't you?"

"It's what I do. You would be surprised how often it's used in politics."

Another moment of silence.

"You know where Ero-nii is? I thought he would show up to bug me after his episode."

"I actually just got word from one of my ANBU that Ghost-san is spending the night at Mitarashi-san's apartment and-"

"WHAT? He's staying at ANKO'S PLACE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto collapsed laughing his ass off.

"What's so funny?" Asked a confused Sarutobi.

Naruto had trouble answering the question as he was too busy busting a gut. "Haha, Gramps! Ero-nii haha, has been avoiding Anko haha, like the plague! She's been out for his blood since he accidentally copped a feel on her the day he came back!"

"… Remind me to send a squad to Anko's apartment later to make sure that our friend doesn't make any reason to suddenly stop helping us, and is still alive." The old man said with a shiver down his spine.

"I'll think about it…" The blonde boy grinned.

"Speaking of objects of mass destruction, when can I see your Rasenshuriken in action? I've heard a lot of things about it." Sarutobi thought about what Ghost said about the attack.

" _It slices! It dices! Throw it and watch it fly! It gets bigger! It blows up! It makes a cool and intimidating sound! And it deals damage on a cellular level! The only problem it has is that it takes up a crap ton of chakra to make, meaning it's an overkill style of attack. In short, it's every little boy's wet dream. WHEEE!"_

"Ero-nii said that he would have everyone in the loop get together for a mass meeting to get everyone up to speed and to make sure no one does anything excessive and change anything big just before he leaves to see Ero-sennin and Baa-chan." Sarutobi chuckled at Naruto's nickname for his two students. He would have to bring that up the next time he saw them. "During which, he was going to have me show off a bit to prove how serious the situation is. We weren't going to explain the time traveling bit to the people that don't remember anything, but we were going to let them know that something was up and tell them what they should do in the meanwhile."

"Makes sense." Sarutobi commented. "I guess I can wait a couple more months to see this super attack of yours. Your father would be proud."

Naruto blinked. "Old Man? Could, could you tell me about…"

Sarutobi smiled gently. "Of course Naruto. I'll tell you about both your parents…" The old man put some tobacco into his pipe and lit it before taking in a deep breath and continuing. "Minato Namikaze… and Kushina Uzumaki." Naruto's eyes widened, confirming to Sarutobi that Ghost was correct in Naruto's lack of information about his mother.

"Uzu…maki?"

"Yes Naruto, your last name was your mother's. It was too dangerous to have you walking around with your father's name. While you may have realized that you get your looks from your father, I have no doubt that you get your personality from your mother. Your beautiful, red headed, short tempered, ramen loving, prankster queen of a mother. You have a long way to go before you reach her level of fame with practical jokes boy." Sarutobi joked… before realizing that he just issued a pranking challenge to the one person who was most likely to and capable of beating it.

Naruto was simply fixed in his seat, absorbing all the information he could about his family. The old man saw this and decided to continue.

"She was a strong and beautiful woman, independent and skilled… but the thing that defined her the most was her long red hair… which had your father's attention the moment he met her. He already had a bit of a fan club beforehand, so he was not really interested in looks despite being Jiraiya's apprentice… but the moment those two spent time together your mother managed to drive them back within record time and kept it that way." Naruto let out a breath of relief. He had enough perverts in his life as it is. He didn't want to be given by life by one as well.

_'Better not tell him that a good portion of the Icha-Icha series was based on their honeymoon. I don't know if he could take it.'_

"Is… is she?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Sarutobi sighed somberly. Despite wanting to tell Naruto about his mother's status as a jinchūriki, he knew that now was not the right time to divulge that kind of information… "Unfortunately, she did die during the attack Naruto. I was there when she and your father defended you with their lives while Minato sealed the beast into you. Due to some… complications during your birth, she was not long for this world in the first place… which is why the manner in which she defended you was rather… rash." Yes… rash. That was one way of describing being speared through with a giant chakra monster's claw in order to stop it from impaling a child less than an hour old. Hiruzen didn't have the heart to tell Naruto that Minato was also speared by that same claw at the same time, ensuring that if the man didn't die by the Shiki Fūjin, he would go by impalement.

Naruto looked down in depression at the thought of his mother's body not even being buried in decent condition.

Unfortunately, before the old man could continue down memory lane, there was a knock at the door. The seals that he had placed would let no sound or signals in or out of the room except when someone knocked on the door, something that people rarely do these days.

"Hokage-sama." The secretary's voice sounded as the Hokage let down the barriers. "The council has requested your presence for a meeting immediately."

Sarutobi sighed. How he hated the council. It was yet another mistake to give them so much leniency in the hopes of reducing his paperwork. He would have to correct that mistake soon. "Well Naruto, I guess we have to end our talk a bit early." The old man groaned. "Before you go though, I have a few things for you that I feel are overdue." Going through his desk and triggering off some secret seals, the old man took out a large tan envelope. He then walked to the other side of his office and took one of the pictures that he had on his file cabinet and opened it up, revealing a second picture behind the one of his own family.

The old man was very quiet as he whispered into Naruto's ear. "The envelope is something that I was supposed to give to you upon you reaching chūnin. The picture is something I thought I should give to you when I thought the time was right. Look at both in your apartment. If it tells you about the Namikaze estate, please wait until both Ghost and I are ready to go with you. Ghost told me that we should all visit the place together in order to collect scrolls for your training and I agree completely. You can't own the house yet for obvious reasons… but I have been leaking some of the estate's funds into your account so you two could support yourselves."

Naruto's eyebrow began twitching as soon as the old man talked about the additional funds that he was receiving. ' _That bastard has been using my money on whatever the fuck he felt like and told me it was the old man's! Anko, please make him suffer. Give him one of your special treatments! I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR SNAKE AND SPOON TRICK AND I AM GIVING YOU PERMISSION TO DO SO VIA MY MIND! THEN GIVE HIM TO IBIKI! THERE ARE NO INNOCENTS!'_

_'… I've been hanging around that guy for too long.'_

"… Anyways," Sarutobi said slowly, hoping that Naruto was not including him in whatever he was planning. That smile was seriously scaring him. "I have to leave now. I expect big things from you Naruto. You have a strong will of fire and…"

In the background, the two could hear someone scream from a long way away (but evidently, not far enough). "FLAMES OF YOUTH!"

"…"

"… And I hope you can achieve your goal. I will support you in any way I can. Next time you come over, we can talk more about your parents." Naruto nodded eagerly at this, pretending to not have heard Gai's latest outburst. He has had recent nightmares and lost sleep thinking about what would happen when Gai and Ghost finally meet.

With that, the old man opened the door and allowed the young man out in front of him.

Both started off having a rather chaotic day, however neither would have trouble sleeping that night…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Okay. Semi decent chapter 11.

I will start making Omake for the rest of the Family until they show up.

Heheheh. I have some very messed up ideas involving Crypt and other members of Konoha.

P.S. Gai and Ghost's meeting will result in many horrible things for the village.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 12

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Any references to Perfect Lionheart's Chūnin exam day (massages) are his. Read it. Good stuff.

o. o. o.

"So let me get this straight." Hana Inuzuka deadpanned in front of an antsy Anko and a halfway sober Ghost. "You want me and Anko here to teach the next generation of genin in our respective fields after they pass their tests with their teachers. Anko with her experience with poisons, seduction, assassination, and solo mission skills. Me with my medical skills. Am I right so far?"

"Yep!" Anko answered gleefully, partially because Ghost told her that she could use whatever teaching methods she thought were necessary on the future minions, and partially because of what Ghost was rewarding her with in return for her services.

"Pretty much. I'm getting it all sorted out with the Hokage now, but we're still missing a medical expert and a kunoichi who specializes in the more unpleasant aspects of the ninja world. You two fit the bill perfectly."

"I'm a VET. I specialize in healing animals, not people."

"Exactly." Ghost countered. "You are experienced in managing and navigating multiple types of body structures and diseases. I'm not telling you to teach them how to counter high end poisons and multiple organ failure. I'm telling you to teach them the basics and what to look for given the situation. What if an Akimichi has an issue with his body expansion technique, or what if your brother and his dog get some sort of injury? Academy lessons aren't going to cover shit like that, and standard first aid only handles standard people and standard wounds, not ninja and ninja-related wounds. "

"What I want you to teach them is what to look for, how to manage and deal with various kinds of injuries, and THEN teach them some jutsu. You are the perfect candidate for this. Not only have you dealt with obscure situations, but your brother is among those that you're going to teach. It will be easier for you to gain their trust if several of the people you are teaching already know who you are." Ghost put on a mock pity face. "Besides, I thought you cared about your brother. It would be a shame if he got injured in a mission and his teammates couldn't help him…"

Ghost found himself pinned to the ground with Hana holding a kunai under his neck and her three hounds on his back and limbs. They were all growling deeply. Anko had drawn her kunai as well in case things got ugly. "We Inuzuka kill for our pack mates. Loyalty is something that we hold high, beyond petty rules and pride. Don't you **dare** assume we would do anything that says differently."

"Then why do you hesitate? What part of this plan is giving you second thoughts? From my perspective, I don't see any major cons about this plan, other than a slightly smaller pay check. The entire thing is supported by the Hokage, so you know that I'm not trying to trick you into anything, and the end result would be a year of genin that might actually have a chance for all of them to at least reach chūnin." Ghost replied, unfazed by his current situation.

Hana paused, thinking about it herself.

"It's because you don't trust me." Ghost sighed before she could come to a conclusion, shocking the girl and causing her to accidentally nick his neck a bit. Blood began to pour out.

"Aaaand I'm going into shock again." Ghost commented as his body started to twitch.

"Shit!" Hana shouted as she grabbed one of Anko's clothes off the floor and tried to slow down the bleeding.

Anko was simply laughing her ass off.

Two shirts and three sets of panties later, the bleeding finally slowed enough for Hana to comfortably use her Mystic Palm jutsu to heal the cut on Ghost's neck.

What they didn't see was Anko licking said assorted clothing, tasting Ghost's blood. She'd had forgotten to do that earlier. She was glad that no one was paying attention to her, because then she would have to explain why she had bloodstained silk panties in her mouth. Anko knew her reputation was at a level where few things could make it worse… but she had a suspicion that this would do it.

All in all though, she had to admit that his blood was gooooood. Easily top three on her list, on par with Kakashi's and Kurenai's.

"There." Hana said as the cut disappeared from Ghost's neck. "All healed. Not like you needed it." She mumbled.

The temperature in the room dropped quickly. Anko froze in her tracks and Hana for a moment thought she was going to die as her dogs whimpered and slowly backed away from the man lying on the ground.

"Hana." Ghost said, with no humor in his voice. If anything, he sounded a bit depressed. "I would appreciate it if you didn't make comments like that. Just because I can come back every time doesn't mean I don't feel anything in the process. It's a very sensitive subject around me, if you haven't noticed."

Hana found it very hard to breathe at the moment, let alone speak.

"I… I understand. S-sorry." She managed to get out while turning away from the man. Big mistake.

_'Sigh, I hate tense moments, they're boring and kill any fun to be had… time to pull a Jiraiya. This is gonna hurt.'_

"Weeelll, If you really are sorry, you wouldn't mind if I…" Ghost chuckled evilly as he slowly walked up behind Hana making groping gestures with his hands… the universal sign for 'Hi! I'm a pervert! I'm gonna touch your boobs now!'

The time between Hana turning around and Ghost's heavy impact into the far wall of the apartment was roughly 1.02 seconds. Not bad. He hardly noticed her turning around at all.

Unfortunately for him, the pain didn't stop there, as Hana's three dogs jumped him immediately afterwards and started to maul him.

At some point during this spectacle, Anko had grabbed a bag of chips, and was currently watching the entire event on her couch.

"You just can't buy entertainment like this." She muttered as Ghost was preventing himself from getting neutered from one of the hounds while another was latched onto his skull.

"You, YOU PERVERT! I can't believe I actually thought that you could be a decent person! You creep!" Hana shouted with her body half turned and her arms over her chest.

"Yes, yes, that's very flattering, but at the moment I'm kinda busy preventing my organs from becoming dog food." Replied Ghost in a disinterested tone as he whacked one of the dogs that was currently latched onto his arm. "Back! Back foul beast! My arm is not a chew toy!" Another dog attempted to jump him from behind, only to have Ghost shift his weight and throw it to the ground. "By the way, are your dogs all boys, or all girls or what? I never really learned what their genders were and as you can see I'm not exactly in a decent enough position to be checking their sexes at the moment." He said conversationally to Hana as he barely managed to stop the third hound from tackling him. Anko was having trouble breathing at the moment due to extreme laughter.

Hana could only stare incredulously at her current bizarre situation.

"Th-They're all girls." Hana said, unable to comprehend her voice betraying her.

"Ah I seeeeeeeeeeyoowwww!" Ghost screamed as the dog that tried to jump him earlier snuck from behind and bit… well… his ass. It didn't look like it was going to let go any time soon either.

"Getitoff getitoff getitoff getitoff!" He yelled while running in a circle, dragging two of the dogs with him while the third chased after him.

Hana could honestly say that this was one of the oddest days of her life.

Anko could honestly say that this was one of the most eventful and entertaining days of her life.

Ghost was simply hoping that nothing else with claws and fangs would show up and attempt to eat him, or that no one would actually say anything along those lines either. They tended to make things worse for the poor man.

Shaking herself out of her stupor, Hana finally realized that Ghost probably had enough punishment for now and whistled for her dogs to come back, allowing an exhausted Ghost to collapse to the ground covered in scratches and bite marks.

"I hope you learned your lesson." Hana growled.

"Yes." Ghost groaned. "Dogs are made of many sharp and pointy things used to hurt people with."

"Close enough." Hana sighed as she sat down on the couch next to an Anko, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

Hana groaned as she stretched her stiff body. She had been pulling more all-nighters for ANBU recently, and her back was killing her. Ghost tilted his head at this.

"Need a massage?" He asked.

Hana's eyes flashed dangerously. Her triplets followed suit.

"NO! NOT like that!" He shouted while retreating to the opposite side of the room with his arms in a defensive position. "I mean that you look like your pretty stiff around the shoulder area and I happen to know a few things about massage therapy. It's saved my ass several times when my sister gets pissed off. Literally. Eventually, I just happened to get really good at it, and I offer my services from time to time. Think of it as my apology." He chuckled nervously.

"I'll take up that offer!" Anko said, gaining the other people's attention. "What? Just because I don't have any back problems doesn't mean I should have to pass up a free back rub. 'Sides, he _is_ kinda cute."

Hana and Ghost sweat dropped. Ghost in particular was starting to wonder if he had just made a mistake offering a massage.

"How about this." Anko said happily. "I'll get the treatment first, and if anything seems off, I'll castrate him." Ghost crossed his legs and whimpered. "Otherwise, depending on how good he is, I would either recommend him, tell him to fuck off, or claim my territory right then and there!" Ghost whimpered some more.

"Or…" Ghost suggested in a rather high pitched voice. "How about I just use a shadow clone to give you the massage so that you don't take things too far, and Hana and her hounds can protect, I mean watch over me in case things get a bit… extreme."

"You know the Shadow Clone technique?" Hana asked.

"Yeah, I can make about a hundred clones without much problems -eep!" Ghost shut his mouth with his hands, mentally kicking himself for letting slip that kind of information.

Anko had an evil grin on her face. "A hundred clones you say? That takes a lot of stamina to do." Hana blushed as she got Anko's hint.

Ghost was screaming bloody murder in his mind.

Quickly making a clone and sending it to Anko, Ghost attempted to save himself, pushing the pair into her bed room and talking very quickly. "Okay! Here's your clone! Enjoy your massage! Take your time! No need to rape me! Good-bye!" And with that Anko and the clone disappeared into her bedroom with Ghost closing the door, then rushing to Hana and clasping her shoulders. "We don't have much time!"

Hana blinked, still trying to comprehend what just happened. "What?"

Ghost was taking deep breaths at this point. "I MAY have downplayed my skills as a masseuse."

Hana was frowning. "By how much?"

Ghost gulped before nervously stepping back and pressing his fingers together like a certain Hyūga heiress. "Let's put it this way… I don't think my clone by itself will last that long in a room with Anko after he starts to do the lower back area. I don't know about you, but that girl looks like she likes to play VERY rough."

"And you were going to give ME one?" Hana growled.

"Only because you looked like you needed one, and because you actually have self-control!" Ghost whispered quickly.

"OOOOOooooohhhh" moaned Anko from the other room.

"Shit! He's almost done with the neck and shoulders!" Ghost panicked.

"Do I even want to know how you know that?"

"You don't get as good as I am by only giving one or two massages." Ghost deadpanned.

Hana sweat dropped as Anko's increasing moaning raised Ghost's state of distress.

"You give your sister massages like this?" She asked skeptically.

"Are you fucking kidding me? The girl has a bloody Dragon Demon Goddess inside of her! Anything that has a decent effect on her is a thousand times as potent on a normal person! I had no idea that I had magic hands 'til three years after I started practicing on her! Any time before that, every attempt to give her a massage to calm her down resulted in a horrible maiming! I still get nightmares every now and then!"

"Dragon Demon Goddess?" Hana stammered.

"MMMMMMMM! SOOOOO GOOOOOD!"

"Help!" He whispered.

"… On one condition." Hana said hesitantly, putting the new information about a 'Dragon Demon Goddess' away for now.

"Name it."

"You have to answer all my questions without hesitation after I get you out."

"Only some personal questions are allowed, and anything regarding the plan is off limits unless I think it's safe for you to know, and even then I won't say jack unless you're in." Ghost negotiated quickly.

"Deal."

"Deal you'll help me, or deal you're in on the plan?" he asked franticly.

Hana hesitated. "OOOOAAAAHHHH!" Screamed Anko from the next room.

"Both!" She whispered.

"Thank you lord!" Ghost prayed to the heavens, then quickly made two shadow clones, one standing in plain sight and the other hiding behind the couch.

"Why two?" Hana hissed.

"When the first gets killed, she will rush in here and take out the one standing, thinking it's the real me. Then when number two goes pop, three here," Ghost nodded to the one hiding behind the couch, "will be playing bait and running Ms. Super Hormones all over town, giving us more time to escape.

"Oh GOD Yes!"

"Quick, make a clone to replace yourself with!"

"I don't know how to make a shadow clone!"

"Do you honestly think Anko would be able to tell the difference between a normal clone and a person in the crazed state she will be in thirty seconds?!" Ghost frantically explained.

"Good point." She muttered as a clone of her popped into existence. "But my dogs!"

"Take 'em or leave 'em! She won't care!"

"I WANT YOUR BABIES!"

"Run! The window! It's perfect! She will never suspect it!" Ghost panicked as he jumped out an open window head first, quickly followed by Hana and her three hounds, leaving a semitransparent clone of Hana and two scared shitless solid clones of Ghost waiting for their impending demise.

Several blocks later, Hana caught up to Ghost, who was wincing and whimpering like a puppy.

"Got the memories?" She asked.

"Kunai… everywhere… make it stop." He moaned, grabbing his head. Hana sweat dropped.

"So where are we going?"

Shaking his head, Ghost replied. "Training ground 82. The one I told you to go to earlier. No one is using it aside from me and my group, and today's practice was canceled for… obvious reasons."

"What… what was **that** anyway?" Hana questioned seriously, deciding to cash in her end of the deal now.

There was silence for a few minutes before Ghost spoke up in a melancholy tone. "Let's just say… the guy who said power is worth any price… never met me."

o. o. o.

Hinata's head was hurting.

After losing Naruto, Hinata wandered around town aimlessly, trying to connect the pieces of information that she'd discovered so far. She knew that Naruto was hated for some odd reason, but she didn't know what it had to do with the Fourth, or why the Third made some rule about it.

Looking around, Hinata found herself at the park, which shocked her considering that it was halfway across town from Ichiraku's. How long had she been walking?

Deciding to stop and rest, Hinata found a hill, lay down on the ground, and started from the beginning again as she watched the younger children play in the distance and the large lake ripple peacefully.

The Fourth Hokage, AKA, the Yellow Flash. Possibly the most promising ninja to ever come out of Konoha. His name was mentioned once or twice in class, but it was surprisingly never used that often.

She'd more than once thought that he looked like Naruto… okay, A LOT like Naruto when she was shown a picture of him, but if they were related, the villagers wouldn't act the way they would to the young blonde. Why would anyone torture and beat a living relative of the greatest hero in Konoha? It saddened her that there wasn't any connection between the two other than their looks, though. It would make it a lot easier for her to go out with him and not get in trouble with her family if he was. (Kami, Shinigami, and the author are all pointing at the girl and laughing their divine asses off at this point.)

Back to the Fourth. He was famous for his Flying Thunder God technique, a jutsu that used seals and kunai in conjunction to teleport around the battlefield at an incredible pace, making him almost impossible to hit. It was this technique that enabled him to destroy over 200 Iwa-nin in the last ninja war. Rumor has it that he had another personal ninjutsu as well, but she couldn't remember what it was called. Her father had told her at one point that it was a powerful seal-less A-rank ninjutsu, one of the few that he admitted he wouldn't mind adding to the Hyūga clan's repertoire if he ever learned how to do the technique. She also remembered him mumbling something about stubborn cyclopes and crazy perverted sages.

The Fourth's death was one of the greatest blows to the village, next to the Uchiha massacre and the Snake Sannin's betrayal of the village. On October 10th, the Nine Tailed Fox, the Kyūbi no Kitsune attacked the village in a berserk rage, killing hundreds of villagers and shinobi and injuring nearly twice as many. In a last ditch effort, the Fourth managed to kill the Kyūbi, at the cost of his life.

_'October 10th… that's when Naruto-kun was born.'_ Hinata realized. What could the Fourth have done to Naruto between the time he was born and the time the Kyūbi was killed? Was it possible that Naruto was linked to the Kyūbi in some way? It would explain his eyes and whisker marks, and why the villagers call him monster and demon so frequently…

"Troublesome." Muttered a familiar lazy voice. "Someone's already here."

Hinata snapped out of her thoughts and turned her head to see Shikamaru and Chōji standing a few feet away.

"S-Shikamaru-kun, Chōji-kun! What are you doing here?" Hinata asked surprised.

"We should be asking you that, Hinata." Shikamaru replied lazily.

"Shika and I come here all the time to look at the clouds." Chōji explained between bites of potato chips.

"A-ah! Sorry!" Hinata apologized franticly, getting up in the process. Even though she had been getting better about her timidity, she still had a ways to go. "I'll leave right away."

"Don't bother." Pineapple Head lad sighed, sitting down a few feet away from her. "It's too troublesome."

"Yeah," Chōji agreed. "The hill's big enough for all three of us anyway. Besides, you looked like you were thinking a lot."

"Ah!" Hinata stammered.

What Chōji didn't realize was that about half of Hinata's shy spasms were now faked to keep up her (assumed) appearance. Nor did he notice Hinata's gaze constantly turning to Shikamaru.

_'How could I have forgotten to talk to Shikamaru-kun! He probably knows already that I'm training with Naruto-kun. Ghost-sensei and Naruto-kun kept on telling me that he was smarter than almost everyone in the village, and Kakashi-sensei himself admitted that Shikamaru was smarter than he was!'_

"Something on my face?" Asked the lazy shadow user.

"A-ah. Y-yes Shikamaru-kun!" Hinata squeaked. She had to come up with an excuse to talk to him alone quickly. Luckily, all those improvisation lessons that Naruto and Ghost had put her through had yielded some results. "M-my father wanted me to give you a message to give to your father. U-um, Chōji-kun, I'm sorry but could you…"

Chōji blinked a few times before getting the hint. "Oh! Sorry! Clan business right?" Hinata nodded. "Okay." He shrugged. "I'll be by the lake. Call me when you two are done." And with that, Chōji left the two on the hill to look at the lake.

"Nice excuse, but next time you might want to think of a more detailed back story in case someone asks questions as to why someone would rely on their child to deliver a message instead of a messenger." Shikamaru mumbled as soon as his friend was out of earshot.

Hinata nodded her head in understanding.

"So, you wanted to talk to me about something?"

"U-um." Hinata stammered as she tried to remember the code that Ghost had told her to tell Shikamaru.

"I have seen a chain link, but I haven't gotten one yet, a-and I don't know what it does." She stuttered as she remembered.

Shikamaru raised his eyebrows in interest. ' _So she's with us, but she doesn't know the whole story… yet.'_ "I guess that means that you've been training with Naruto and Ghost after school?"

Hinata nodded her head. "A-and a jōnin named Kakashi Hatake came about a week after I started too."

Shikamaru nodded. Ghost had visited him in the middle of the night shortly after his meeting with the village council to inform him that the cyclops had joined their ranks a bit earlier than expected. It would have made things easier if Shikamaru wasn't already asleep, but Ghost had hissed that sneaking into the home of people who could strangle their opponents with their shadows _in the middle of the night_ was NOT his idea of a good joke, and to cut him a little slack.

"I could tell you've been getting stronger." He commented, causing Hinata to blush a little and poke her fingers together. "Your stuttering has gone down a bit too. A result of your training?"

Hinata nodded. "Y-Yes. Ghost-sensei, Naruto-kun, and Kakashi-sensei have all been teaching me secretly after school a few times a week." Hinata then proceeded to explain her training in detail, from the break dancing lessons to the flying exploding cows. Needless to say, the Nara was glad that he was under heavy watch by his father. Hinata had also noticed that Shikamaru did not seem that surprised about some of the things that she was telling him about Naruto, such as his Shadow Clone technique or his wind element training. He was interested in several things that Hinata was telling him though.

"So Naruto's teaching you Rasengan." He mused.

Hinata snapped her head to her neighbor, having long since laid down on the ground. "Rasengan? Isn't that the Fourth's other signature technique?" She asked shocked.

"They never told you what it was called?" He asked the shocked girl.

"N-no, they didn't." Hinata stammered. "They just said that Naruto would teach me three chakra control exercises that would help with my Jūken, and that I have to keep the final technique a secret."

"Troublesome." He sighed observing Hinata's unnerved demeanor. What interested him more, though, was that when the girl started to calm down, it looked like she was trying to piece something bigger together. "Why do you look like you are trying to figure out something bigger than the mystery of why Naruto is teaching you an A-rank ninjutsu?"

Hinata paused, gathering her thoughts. Was it okay to ask him? What would he think? What if he told Naruto-kun or Ghost-sensei?

Going out on a limb, she took the plunge. "Shikamaru-kun… do you know what Naruto-kun's secret is?"

Said Nara's eyes widened a bit. He didn't like where this was going. "Hinata… you are going to have to be a bit more specific than that." He replied… hoping that Hinata didn't get the outlandish (and 100% true) idea that Naruto had more secrets to hide.

"Why does everyone hate Naruto?" She whispered with tears in her eyes. "I've been trying to figure it out since we started to train together. The way everyone stares at him with loathing. The reason why the villagers attack him so brutally (Shikamaru had heard rumors of the mobs, but he never thought they were true.), why the teachers at the academy treat him so poorly, why? Why should someone who tries so hard get punished like that?" Hinata was crying heavily at this point, hugging herself to push the sights she had seen out of her head.

Shikamaru stared at Hinata for a good time trying to come up with the correct path to take. Lucky for him, he was good at that. "Troublesome." He sighed as he closed his eyes and resumed his cloud watching, gaining Hinata's attention again.

"Shikamaru-kun…?"

"I know what his secret is." Shikamaru mumbled. "But I'm not going to tell you… I can't."

"Can't?" Hinata asked.

"It's a big secret, Hinata. The Third has a law around that says that no one can talk about it under punishment of death. Especially to anyone our age. The only guys that can talk about it without getting killed are Naruto and the Hokage himself."

Hinata paled. "Th-that's what the Third's law is?"

That caught Shikamaru's interest. "You've heard of the law? Where?"

Hinata shakily nodded and told Shikamaru about her adventure stalking Naruto and what she heard at Ichiraku's earlier that day. This prompted Shikamaru request that Hinata to tell him everything she had found out about Naruto, and what she had put together so far.

Needless to say, by the end of Hinata's explanation the boy was developing a decent sized headache.

"Troublesome." He muttered. There was no way he could leave Hinata to her own devices now. Who knows how much trouble she could get into without someone to point her in the right direction? He only hoped that Naruto would forgive him for what he was going to do.

Turning to the girl, Shikamaru put on a stern face to show that he was serious, surprising the girl a little bit.

"Hinata," He started. "If you weren't so close to finding out what the secret is, I would have just left you alone to your own devices. Unfortunately, you are so close to figuring it out that I have to keep an eye on you and point you in the right direction or else you might accidentally let the secret loose to everyone and get you killed, or it might give you the wrong impression about Naruto."

Hinata was shivering at this point. She had never seen him this serious before. It was a bit scary how he stared at her with those cold, calculating eyes.

"I can't tell you what his secret is, but I can give you a hint on what to look for next." He said carefully, looking around to check that no one was watching or listening. "You already know who was involved: the Fourth, Naruto, and" Shikamaru hesitated before whispering, "the Kyūbi." Hinata's eyes widened in shock. "When the event took place: October 10th, the day Naruto was born, the day the Kyūbi attacked, and was defeated, and the day the Fourth died. Where is obvious: here in Konoha. The next question you want to ask is not why, or what, but how. Once 'how' is answered, what and why will quickly fall into place."

Hinata, still getting over her shock over the fact that the Kyūbi is involved somehow, managed to squeak out a question. "S-Shikamaru-kun? Wh-What is how supposed to explain? H-How, what?"

Shikamaru sighed. "That, Hinata, is what you have to find yourself. I already told you enough as it is." He fixed his gaze on her again. "When you do find out what his secret is… or at least when you think you do, come back to me and tell me what you know. I'll try to fill in any blanks you still have after that, but the real reason is because this secret could impact your judgment of Naruto…"

"No it won't." Hinata shot back immediately, conjuring up the cold stare that her family was known for and making the Nara shudder. "I care for Naruto-kun and nothing will change the way I feel for him."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Was that a confession I just heard?" he asked amused.

Hinata immediately lost her composure and blushed a deep red while retreating into her coat. "I-I-I… Y-You…"

"It seems that those three have been working on more than just your ninja skills." Shikamaru chuckled, causing the girl to retreat into her coat even more.

"'Bout time too. Everyone was wondering if you were going to explode one day from keeping all that stress in."

Shikamaru was beginning to wonder how deep Hinata's coat was… or if she had any seals on the inside to give her more room.

"Troublesome crushes aside…" he mumbled as he got back up, snapping the poor girl out of her mental breakdown. Hinata noticed that the sun was going down. "…You have to realize that this is bigger than a simple dark secret, Hinata. You can't tell anyone about it when you find out." Taking a few steps, he paused and looked back at the girl. "Just remember that whatever you find out… it's still Naruto. The only thing that has changed is what we know of him. He's still the unpredictable, hyperactive and stubborn blonde idiot that we all know and are annoyed by." He paused, as if remembering something that had happened recently. "Naruto cares about you, Hinata. If anything ever happened to you, I don't know if he would ever be able to recover from it, especially if he somehow comes to the conclusion that it was his fault. That's why I'm giving you this last piece of advice. Get strong. Strong enough to beat your opponents, strong enough to defend yourself, and most importantly, strong enough for Naruto to sleep at night knowing you can take care of yourself. I can tell you right now, the people we are going to go up against are monsters in every sense of the word, and we need as much help as we can get."

With that, Shikamaru left the unsettled Hyūga heiress on the hill to meet up with his overweight friend and go home. The sun just fading over the horizon, giving the sky a dark red/orange glow…

o. o. o.

Scabbard was having mixed reactions about today.

On the positive side, he'd found out that the world that Ghost was currently residing in was the world of Naruto, which his family had been searching for for _years_. The potential of this universe was definitely something worth investing in, and there would be much that the family could do here for entertainment.

On the negative side, he was currently being chased by three platoons of Kumo-nin all over Kumogakure, hell bent on his capture and sealing into another child, believing him to be a minor chakra demon.

Dimension traveling is a very sensitive art, especially for those who are using machinery as a medium instead of magic, powers, or other beings who exist simply to travel between realms. If the traveler does not know the exact specifics of their destination in terms of dimensional statistics, even when dealing with something as simple as short ranged teleportation… well, there's a reason why there are so many stories about people (cough huge-boobed-girls cough) popping out of thin air in people's houses.

However, in this case, instead of a ditzy, idiotic F-cupped female crashing into the room of a lonely and somewhat pathetic male youth, it was a 200+ pound, three legged wolf freefalling onto a previously sleeping (and surprisingly nude) 26 year old Yugito Nii. (Yes, that is her actual age during this time, so she is older than Anko.)

Scabbard had LONG since learned that waking up a woman, especially a woman with a demon inside of her, was about as stupid and suicidal as, say, playing with multiple plugged toasters in the bathtub, which is why he blasted open the door with 'a tad bit' of electricity when he recognized who he had just landed on and bolted as quickly as he could. Behind him, he could hear a very angry and slightly hysteric female jinchūriki scream bloody murder.

On a side note, Scabbard smelled an unreasonably large amount of catnip in her room…

The large wolf sighed as he raced through the streets of Kumo, avoiding ninja and civilian alike. "Thirty seventh time I landed on an unsuspecting sleeping woman… first time she was nude, though. That was unusual. I must calculate the odds later…"

Despite his pondering of trans-dimensional statistics crossed with statistics of women sleeping in the nude, Scabbard was also absorbing information at an incredible rate with every glance. The village setup; the faces of several Kumo-nin and their apparent rank, along with any distinguishing abilities or attacks; the climate of the air around him, allowing him to determine the elevation of the village as well as compile possible climate warfare potential; possible exits and entrances for future use; hiding places; building structural integrity as well as material composition; civilians of interest; symbols and markings of the village and the clans, among other things. Things are so much easier when you can give yourself photographic memory at the drop of a hat.

It always did amuse him how he gained so much attention as a large three legged wolf being chased by several squads of Kumo-nin/ Palace Guards/ Magical Constructs/ whatever served as a form of military strength in the world he visited, though. The sheer oddity of the sight throws several dozen people for a loop every time.

No one knew that he could talk since all his verbal ramblings were small mutters that could easily be mistaken for growls. It was a safety precaution, for as long as people thought that he was only an overpowered yet crippled animal, they would underestimate him. Humans - well, pretty much anything that had a sense of self, really - have a habit of underestimating those that they think are less intelligent then themselves. Humans just had the tendency of doing it more often.

Falling between two buildings to escape from a rogue fire jutsu, Scabbard surmised that it was about time to make himself scarce. If he lingered too long in the village, he might accidentally give his pursuers more information about him, or they might come to some unwanted conclusions, such as the village assuming that he is from Konoha, knowing that the Leaf village utilizes ninja hounds frequently.

Heading towards the nearest gap between mountains, Scabbard made a dash for safety. Despite having only three legs, he was surprisingly fast and agile. He would never be able to beat anyone in his family in a race, but compared to the level of his aggressors, he was doing quite well.

Running down a straight road that dead-ended at the bottom of a very steep cliff, Scabbard decided to get a little flashy with his exit. The rest of his family would complain of this bad habit of his… but in reality, they couldn't without looking guilty due to their own personal quirks.

It had started to rain a bit at the beginning of the chase and the precipitation had only increased since then, with a few lightning strikes in the area for good measure. The place wasn't the Village Hidden in the Clouds in the Land of Lightning for nothing.

Scabbard bolted up the mountainside with unparalleled ease, dodging kunai and ninjutsu the entire time, channeling the Parasite - a special, malleable hybrid metal that resided in his body – through his paws to dig into the cliffside and keep him from falling. The rain was no hindrance due to his level of experience. Even a mud slide would only delay him for a second at the most.

His pursuers were a different story. At least half of them had to go back down the steep and drenched incline within the first few leaps up. The rest soon followed, realizing that only their most experienced ninja could pull it off. Scabbard sat at the top of the hill with a small grin on his lupine face, taking in the sight in front of him as thunder echoed in the background and a moderately heavy downpour kept coming down.

_'That wasn't so bad.'_ He mused to himself as he waited for the right moment to disappear, taking a moment's break to listen to the constant melody of the falling rain and sporadic lightning.

Unfortunately for Scabbard, it was at that time that Yugito appeared, fully clothed and fully pissed. It was well known in Kumo that anyone who interrupted the woman's 'cat naps' rarely came back to tell the tale. Human, or animal. What wasn't widely known in Kumo was that she slept in the nude… which is probably why she killed anyone that woke her up in the first place. It was a basic rule of the assassin: leave no witnesses.

Scabbard could tell as much when he looked into her eyes… he had A LOT of experience dealing with borderline psychotic super powered women. ' _And yet again… I spoke too soon.'_

It also helped that he was extremely skilled in hellstromism, the study of reading muscles to determine what a person is thinking. The Hyūga use it to decipher what a person is thinking by reading the muscle patterns on a person's face. They only use that 'Byakugan sees all' bull to intimidate their opponents into a sense of insecurity. In reality, their dōjutsu only enables them to see the subtle changes in the human body easier. That was it. They still had to study like everyone else to understand what each twitch of the body meant. Unfortunately for that clan… it seemed to have gotten into their head that their eyes really are all-seeing. He would have to put them in their place later.

Right now, he had to deal with a woman who promised his death in her eyes… or worse, neutering.

Growling like her tenant, Yugito rushed up the steep cliff without a second thought, whipping out a kunai in each hand. Scabbard was mildly impressed at the rate at which she was ascending to his position. Even though it posed no issue to him, he still recognized that it took a fair amount of skill to pull off such a stunt. He quickly came to the conclusion that either she was more skilled than he first assumed… or he had REALLY pissed her off by waking her up.

Shooting up into the air, far above Scabbard himself, Yugito positioned herself to land right on the offending wolf.

She was too late.

For a moment, the wolf's and the kunoichi's eyes met and time stood still. Yugito could hardly breathe as she peered into the two dark lightning green eyes. Two sharp and calculating eyes that seemed to radiate an immeasurable amount of power and intelligence, and she thought that for a moment they actually glowed and gave off sparks. She could have sworn she also saw him smile as well… but wolves don't smile…

A humongous lightning bolt crashed right on top of the still sitting lupine, blinding and deafening everyone watching the spectacle. Yugito herself got the worst of it, being right in front of the strike, and almost missed her landing and fell off the cliff, collapsing just inches from the edge.

It took a long time for anyone to recover from the sudden attack on their senses.

Yugito regained comprehension of her surroundings first. Taking a quick, yet dazed look around, she realized that the offending demon wolf was gone without a trace. The heavy rain had washed away his scent and any tracks that he might have left behind.

Cursing under her breath, the enraged female threw a few kunai off randomly into the nearby woods where she had no doubt the creature had escaped to. She was about to stomp back into the village when she was stopped by the voice in her head.

**_Kitten, look at your feet._** Purred the two tailed cat residing in her in a curious tone.

Looking down, Yugito noticed that a portion of the ground below her was scorched in an odd pattern. No, not pattern, it was a message.

_The red dawn is after that which you hold and its kind. Inform the Ox. Prepare. Tell no one else of this. Ears are everywhere. Fenrir._

Yugito froze, rereading the message several times before using her feet to scrape it away.

_'Nibi?'_ She asked hesitantly for advice as she saw some fellow Kumo-nin approaching her from the side of the cliff. Yugito had a fairly decent relationship with her demon. It was nowhere near as solid as Bee's connection with the Eight Tails, but it was enough for her to call upon a good portion of the cat's power without completely losing herself.

… ** _For now, do what the message says, kitten._** Replied the demon. **_This… Fenrir is more powerful then he lets on. I… doubt that we could defeat him if he desired a fight. As for this information … if what he claims is true, this 'Red Dawn' is an intimidating foe. In either case, we should tell Bee about this and prepare for the worst._**

"Yugito!" Shouted the nearest jōnin who was running up to her. "Where is the demon?"

The female's eyes twitched at the word, but calmed herself. This was not the time to act on petty impulses. "Escaped. It appeared to use that last lightning strike as a distraction to make its way through the forest. The rain is covering up its tracks and scent, making it almost impossible to track now."

"Damn." He cursed. "This report will not look good."

"No," Yugito said absently as she walked down the safe path back to the village. "I suppose it won't."

o. o. o.

Several miles away, Scabbard was racing through the forest at a brisk but balanced pace. From what he remembered about the elemental nations, the Land of Lightning was directly north and east of the Land of Fire, so it would only be obvious to head southwest to find his brother.

The point of his message had been simple, and served two purposes. The first was to inform Yugito and Bee of Akatsuki, and that the group was a major threat. The second was to start establishing his personal information and spy system in this world. It was his job to manage the hoards of information that came the family's way and make plans accordingly. By gaining the attention of Yugito, and through her Bee, he had already established a link, feeble but still useable, to two of the key players in major events to come. His alias, Fenrir, was simply a name he preferred to use while in his wolf form.

Gathering his thoughts, Scabbard tried to make heads or tails of the situation.

Yugito Nii was still alive, so that automatically put him at some point before Asuma died. That much was obvious. His warning about the Akatsuki would hopefully change the timeline for the better and make things a bit easier for the Konoha ninja. If worst came to worst, he would jump into the fighting and try to keep the important people alive…

What really concerned him was that he could feel Ghost's residual energy everywhere, and judging by its potency, it had been there for about a month. Under most circumstances, Scabbard would just brush this off as Ghost's energy in the air leaving its mark for future use… but he was detecting his brother's presence in the ground, the trees, the animals… everywhere.

The only way that could have happened was if Ghost pulled a 'Black Phoenix'. (A/N: Self-explanatory, purging the world in flames, blah blah blah)

If that was the case… things must have been really bad.

Scabbard frowned, collecting his thoughts. He knew his brother was a tad bit unpredictable, so he had to assume nothing while getting his facts straight. Ghost **was** in Konoha, that much was certain. There would be no other place he could be, and he would be damned if he wasn't there helping out the blonde fox container. The kid had too much potential, both in the battlefield and in the pranking field to simply leave alone.

If Ghost did pull a Black Phoenix, which was almost certainly the case, then the time period he was in right now was most likely around when Naruto graduated from the academy. It gave the most opportunity to influence the boy and those around him without drawing too much attention, and posed the least risk of changing the timeline too much, too quickly… assuming that _he_ _wasn't_ _ **trying to**_ _,_ this time. It continues to astound Scabbard (and the rest of the family) that his brother had so much trouble trying to blend in and hide when a good portion of his powers make him almost impossible to see, catch, hear, or notice when he wanted to. The guy is practically what every assassin fantasizes they could be in terms of skill and abilities, yet he can't walk into a pillow factory without accidentally being on the receiving end of some sort of earth shattering event that will get the attention of everyone in a hundred kilometer radius.

Chaos incarnate aside, the time period he deduced that he was in would make sense, going by the evidence that he had so far. Yugito was still alive, and she looked about to be in her early to mid-twenties, so the ages would match.

Smirking in a feral manner, Scabbard couldn't help but chuckle darkly as he made his way south, the storm loosing veritable pillars of lightning around him as if guiding him onward, briefly illuminating the darkness of night that hid him.

He only had a vague idea of where he was supposed to go, he was completely alone in this world until he met up with his brother, he had no supplies on his person, he had already pissed off an entire city of assassins, and he didn't know what his brother had already planned and/or done while in Konoha.

This was going to be fun.

o. o. o.

Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice… I mean with Shadow, Waltz and Crypt…

Waltz and Shadow were breathing heavily as they hid in the closet of their home. (A/N: For future reference, the home is a standard/slightly large two story building with garage, kitchen, five bedrooms, three bathrooms, blah blah blah you get the idea. Use your imagination).

"Where the FUCK is Scab? First Ghost goes AWOL, now the brain trust incarnate does too! What the hell?!" Shadow hissed, trying to not raise her voice and alert the horrible monster in the house to her presence.

"I don't know." Whispered a rather stressed and scared Waltz. "Perhaps he detected where Ghost went and decided to check it out."

"This is just great! We need three of us in order to take down that bastard without causing any mass property damage! We're already on our second neighborhood warning after the exploding ribs fiasco a few months ago!"

"Weren't you behind the entire thing though?"

"How was I supposed to know that honey barbeque sauce mixed with black powder and Tang would result in a new form of napalm?!" Shadow hissed. (A/N: I don't know if it does or not, but it would be freaking awesome if it did.)

"Criminal arson and potential homicide charges aside, we have bigger issues to deal with right now… we could always try to take him down on our own. We ARE the best combination to restrain him with considering our powers…" Waltz reasoned, though he didn't really sound too sure of himself.

"Cluck."

Shadow and Waltz froze. That cluck had come from inside the closet.

"Oh no."

"Shit."

"Cluck cluck?"

"Stay calm." Whimpered Waltz.

"Don't do anything stupid." whispered Shadow.

"…"

"Slowly…" Shadow whispered, as her dark imprint on the ground stretched and rose towards the black chicken less than a few feet from her. Its feathers had several tints of red, and its beak and talons were insanely sharp. It merely stood there; unaware of the several hexagon shaped plates surrounded it, transparent with a blue tint, slowly forming a small barrier around the flightless bird.

"Cluck?" The chicken asked, tilting its head to the side.

"NOW!" She shouted as her shadow and several shadows around her swamped the Demon Chicken of Doom ™, preventing its movement in a flurry of feathers as Waltz's ice crystal barrier formed, each piece meshing together perfectly, preventing anything from escaping. Shadow strained to keep the extensions of herself on the chaotic poultry and restrict its movements while Waltz watched in earnest and hoped that his barrier would contain the beast.

When the chaos finally stopped half an hour later, the evil monster that plagued their house was contained in a ball of shadows that made it almost impossible to move and one of the strongest physical barriers in the multiverse.

Shadow let out a held in breath. "We did it."

"Yes, we did." Waltz chuckled as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Cluck, cluck." Was the reply of an irritated chicken standing sideways off of the door behind them.

"Hahahaha." Shadow laughed nervously as she slowly turned her head. "Crypt… you know we were joking right?"

"L-Lets n-not do anything t-too rash now…" Waltz stammered in a futile attempt to lessen the bird's ire.

"…doom."

"Hold me." Waltz and Shadow said to each other at the same time as they held each other in fear of the upcoming mauling.

Throughout the town the house was in, people complained of hearing unruly chaos coming from the building. People within several blocks of the home claimed they heard loud screaming and an eccentric voice screaming " **Demon Chicken of Dooooom**!" repeatedly. When the police entered the home an hour later, they found the home to be in shambles and Waltz and Shadow unconscious (and violently twitching) on the ground, with dozens of claw and peck marks on them surrounded by black feathers. Crypt was surprisingly unharmed, in the basement arguing with a TV playing an episode of Sesame Street.

And all was right with the world…

o. o. o.

A/N

Now THAT is how you write a chapter! Huh! (does some sort of obligatory manly gesture… thing).

I personally think this is one of my best segments of the story so far. The last two chapters were okay, but they have a lot of fluency issues in my opinion that I'll probably fix in the near future. Maybe.

So now you get a brief glimpse of what the rest of the family can do… sort of. I hope you enjoyed the random chaos that I created for your (and more importantly MY) entertainment. Muahahahahaha. This is only the tip of the iceberg with all their powers and I assure you, these are ALL the OCs that are going to be in the story (aside from the demon inside Shadow).

And yes, the most destructive chicken in existence will have another appearance later on… and yes, the chicken was Crypt. He's crazy like that.

Oh yeah, Danzō with the Sharingan… who didn't predict that would happen… although having Shisui's Sharingan was a bit of a good twist.

And that guy from mist with the Byakugan… I have a very outlandish guess here… but there is a chance it might be Hinata's mom's Byakugan… they never did say in the manga or in the anime how she actually died…

Next chapter, Sasuke vs. Raikage, can't wait!

The story has roughly 8500 hits so far… I hope this one can push it to 10000, one can dream.

Please review! I finally found my tempo again! Praise MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 13

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Long live the Copy & Paste functions, and by that I mean abusing the intro bits. I do not copy other people's work… only reference occasionally.

o. o. o.

The following two months went by quickly.

Anko and Hana agreed to Ghost's idea of teaching the next generation of genin in their respective fields…

… however, they did not appreciate going through a 'surprise practice period' teaching Naruto and Hinata until the genin exams... and neither did the test subjects/experiments/practice students. It took several hours of apologizing, begging, reverse psychology, bribery, two pairs of pants, a few of the blackmail pictures of Kakashi's face, and several overlooked cases of potential homicide and arson before the three irate women, one pissed off blonde, and a seemingly careless cyclops calmed down and admitted that it would be nice to be able to get used to teaching before the actual thing started.

They then proceeded to beat the living daylights out of Ghost until their arms were numb.

Naruto didn't stop for several hours, much to the surprise of Anko and Hana, who had yet to see how far their potential students had already progressed.

Once the immortal regained the use of his lungs and throat again - Hana having decided to take her time with healing his arms and legs –, he then explained the general idea of what was going to happen in the following two months.

Hana and Anko would be focusing on Hinata, on the days she appeared, after the girl's hour long warm-ups, as they both have experience in fields that would be very useful and appealing to the Hyūga heir. She would still be working with Naruto during her breaks.

Naruto in the meantime would start to abuse his clones even further. Once the two new teachers got over their shock about how much stamina and chakra the boy had, they agreed to the plan: Ghost would take the real Naruto and several hundred clones for some special training while the rest of the older ninja split up the remaining clones and instructed them on the basics.

Ghost's special training, however, was much more interesting than Naruto had expected, as he soon learned that he was practicing using his wind element chakra to give himself a 'Seventh Sense', which would somewhat mimic the Byakugan's ability to see all around him.

When Naruto asked how he was going to do this, Ghost replied that it was pretty much the opposite of what he did for Sage Mode. Instead of taking in natural energy and mixing it with his chakra in his body, Naruto would be forcing out his chakra and mixing it with the natural energy in the air so that his chakra would linger for a long period of time. This 'conditioned' air would act as a set of outer nerves that would be able to tell where air was and where it wasn't. With enough practice, Ghost claimed that the boy would be able to tell where and how many people were near him without even looking… as long as they weren't underground or completely sealed off from him. There were a fair number of other benefits that this ability enabled Naruto to have, however the creator decided to hold off on teaching those… for now at least.

Anko and Hana would take several hundred clones of their own to train them in their respective fields (Ghost told a disappointed Anko that he'd already taught the kid how to dodge sharp implements of death, so it would be a waste of clones if she attempted to use the blonde for target practice). Armed with the knowledge of Naruto's clone learning trick, they were adamant on trying to see how much they could actually cram into his head and how much he actually kept. They soon learned that Naruto was the kind of student that learned through experience … and that attempting any other teaching method with the boy resulted in nothing but frustration.

While that was going on, another several dozen/hundred clones would transform and enter the library to brush up on their studying. Ghost told the blonde in private that while Ghost had no doubt that Jiraiya had educated Naruto in the basics of common shinobi know-how, he still did not have enough time (or patience) to teach Naruto several things he would need to know later. This included basic history, slightly advanced mathematics, psychology, theory, and several other subjects. He also told Naruto that at the moment, the most important things he should be reading are chakra theory books, jutsu information books, and advanced history books. When Naruto asked why history, Ghost simply replied that his greatest enemy was one of the founders of Konoha, so there should be SOMETHING useful about him in those books. "Know thy enemy and all that crap and stuff." Ghost said as he went back to sleep in his personal tree.

The rest of the clones were split between yet more intense chakra control training and Kakashi. The chakra control clones had added a new exercise to their repertoire: chakra hops.

Chakra hops were something that Ghost made up one day when he was bored… walking on his hands… in the middle of the river. Losing his focus, the man accidentally pushed a bit of extra chakra out of his hands really fast. The result was Ghost literally hopping about a foot off of the water and splashing into the running current. Despite almost dying from a combination of hypothermia and drowning, Ghost decided to experiment a bit more with his new discovery. Pretty soon, Naruto and Hinata came across Ghost bouncing across the river without moving a muscle on his feet, hands, butt, stomach, head, hips… pretty much all his body parts while giggling like an idiot. While it was an impressive display of chakra control, it only further sealed Hinata and Naruto's assumption that there was something seriously wrong with him, as he hopped by them on his… well, he was doing a split at the time.

While water walking and tree climbing were excellent chakra control exercises, they focused on the constant release of chakra with little real changes. It occasionally varied depending on what tree the user was on or how fast the water was moving, but the release of chakra was still reasonably constant. Chakra hopping was something else completely: it was the sudden storage and release of a high amount of chakra from a focused part of the body. It was sort of like a half way point between a jūken strike and Rasengan. The jūken strike is stored and released, but it is not focused or pressurized enough to move the user's body, instead invading the structure of the thing it is aimed at and damaging only chakra based formations. Likewise, the Rasengan is too focused and concentrated to be able to be stored or to move the user's body, and the release is constant, completely destroying the thing the chakra is forced against instead of repelling it.

This means that if a person mastered chakra hops, they could in theory go from everyday life to extremely powerful jutsu spamming in almost no time at all without putting any dangerous strain on the user's body, and using less chakra for said large attacks in the process. They could also in theory 'hop' as a form of evasion if the user's reserves were large enough. Not only that, but the exercise itself was a much better way to increase a person's chakra reserves compared to water walking or tree climbing.

Even after this explanation, Hinata and Naruto still didn't believe that it excused Ghost from hopping around on his unmentionables while they tried to focus. Ghost's response was simply to laugh without abandon in an evil manner for the rest of the training that day… while hopping on his unmentionables. Needless to say, the children developed both a higher form of focus and hatred for their strange teacher that day.

The clones that were with Kakashi were simply ironing out all the things that Naruto already knew, but could make better. This included things such as jutsu, yet some more chakra control, elemental manipulation and so on. When Naruto asked Kakashi if he could teach him any jutsu, Kakashi said that Ghost would not allow him to learn any more techniques until after the genin exams for safety and legal reasons.

All in all, the two children were getting the workout of a lifetime.

And they would need every second of it soon enough…

o. o. o.

It was the day before Ghost would leave the village to meet up with Jiraiya in a somewhat nameless town a short distance from Konoha, and everyone that was currently involved had managed to gather in field 82. (A/N: If you expect me to make up village names at all, let alone in Japanese… then I laugh at your silly imagination and expectations. LAUGH I SAY!)

Kakashi was leaning against a tree, reading yet another new book near the Hokage, who had somehow managed to convince the ANBU that were supposed to guard him to leave him be for the afternoon. The old man was currently playing a game of shōgi with Shikamaru (who'd somehow managed to escape from his suspicious father and currently PMSing mother) … and losing badly.

Since Shikamaru couldn't practice any large techniques with his family hovering over his shoulder, the Nara was stuck with increasing his chakra control constantly when he wasn't hanging out with Chōji or staring at the clouds… which technically was the best thing he could do considering his fighting style. At the moment, his reserves were about as big as when he went to try and rescue Sasuke. It wasn't anything to brag about really, but it was an improvement. Also, he was in a bit of a withdrawal since he couldn't smoke anymore, yet his addiction was technically nonexistent at this point in time. The logic and theory behind such a situation plagues the Nara's mind to this day.

Anko and Hana were talking with each other about the past couple of months, who was involved, Ghost, what was going to happen, Ghost, training, Ghost and Ghost. In addition to their payment from the Hokage, the immortal had also promised to teach the two females some things as well as an apology for rushing them into this situation. Hana had been somewhat warming up to the man after she learned more about him after the first massaging fiasco and trusted him enough to know that he wouldn't do anything bizarre to her. When anyone asked what he had told her though, she replied that it was between him and her and was private. So far, both women had been taken out for several dinners and shopping sprees on his (Naruto's) tab, and he OCCASIONALLY gave them massages. Somehow, the flamboyant man had managed to not get raped yet by either woman, despite the occasional chases across the village while in hormone-induced frenzies.

In addition to the food and clothes, Ghost had also started to train the two women physically by giving them somewhat extensive workouts in addition to applying gravity seals on their backsides (he did this with everyone else in the group as well, so when Anko and Hana accused him of being a pervert, he countered that he had to give Kakashi and Sarutobi one as well in the same area, so the least they could do was give him the benefit of the doubt and a little pity touch to make the hairy wrinkled filled nightmares go away).

Because Anko was on assassination missions frequently, Hana was often on her own when teaching, and it occasionally got on her nerves, though it did give her more time to chat with the annoying individual who got her into this mess in the first place. The two seemed to get along better as time went on… as long as Ghost wasn't doing anything stupid… which was quite often. Hana also was the one that prevented Anko from raping Ghost most of the time… when she wasn't trying to herself after she finally received one of his massages.

Anko still had her curse seal, which irritated the woman to no end. Ghost told her with regret that she would still need to have it for at least another year before he would remove it. When Anko asked sweetly why with a kunai to his loins, the crying man replied that it was needed to lure the bane of her existence into a false sense of security when he finally encountered her. He wouldn't go into the details, but he hinted that Orochimaru was interested in someone else in the village, and if he discovered that someone could remove the curse seal, then his movements would change and it would be difficult to predict what he would do next. That did not sit well with Anko, and ten minutes later Ghost was once again thanking the heavens above that he learned the shadow clone and replacement jutsu as he ran away from Anko's apartment with a clone giving the woman another orgasmic massage.

He was very fortunate that he had only told the women that he was good at back massages… he was scared shitless of what would happen if he told them he could do full body rubs as well. It wasn't that much different than a back massage, aside from a few key alterations depending on what you're focusing on, so it wasn't that hard for him to learn how to do so when he got curious a few centuries back. Later on he learned, forgot, and re-learned repeatedly that giving sensual massages and rubs to women who are capable of mass genocide is highly ill advised, no matter how beautiful, kinky, sexy, etc they are. The cycle continues to this day.

While the adults were playing their own games in the meantime, they had still remembered to pay attention to their students, and it showed. Naruto and Hinata were watching the shōgi game with interest while leaning on each other's head/shoulder. They both looked the same, albeit their hair was a few inches longer, but the way they carried themselves told anyone paying attention that the two had become far stronger.

By the end of the three total months of constant training, Kakashi, Hana, and Anko all believed that their students were both solid shinobi, both having combat skills of a seasoned chūnin at least. Ghost was simply rubbing his hands together while chuckling darkly and muttering something about an army of minions and potential punching bags/sparring partners.

Hinata had almost mastered Rasengan completely.

About a week after Anko and Hana joined the group, she had decided to show her applications of the first step to her Jūken. And by applications, she meant new freaking arsenal.

In particular, the girl had created two main applications from rotating her chakra at high speeds in her taijutsu style. The first was intended to curve the chakra pulse she sent into her opponent's body to deal more wide spread damage. For example, if she blasted her opponent in the shoulder from the front, she could curve the energy inside of the body to hit more organs, such as the lower intestine, and deal more wide spread damage. This meant that the girl didn't need to hit a specific target on her opponent's body in order to deal a killing blow. This, according to Hinata, was the harder of the two techniques she had created, as she had to change the curve of the blast every time she struck in order to get decent results. She explained that she developed this technique by getting a training dummy and drawing dots all over the back of it. She would then use Jūken to strike the front of the dummy in the same spot and curve the strike to hit the various exit points until she could get them all without trouble. Needless to say, everyone was impressed.

The second main application that she had made though, was far more deadly and/or crippling when used. Hinata explained that when a jūken strike hit, the user's chakra sprays out, for lack of a better term, and 'washes away' the chakra system of the target body. She compared it to washing a building that is covered with trails of dirt. One can spray the house with water from a hose, but the dirt won't go away with a single pass unless the hose has pretty high pressure. What Hinata did was 'change the nozzle'. Instead of a loose pulse of chakra entering the opponent's body, her constant, spiraling, and focused chakra will tear up the chakra system instead. In a sense, it acted as a Rasengan that only attacked the chakra system that Hinata could use with each strike. A 'gentle Rasengan', in a way.

Ghost easily approved of Hinata's applications of the technique and literally threw Naruto (or what everyone assumed was the real Naruto) at her and told him to teach her the second step (after nailing the two with a few dozen rubber balls), reminding them that once she mastered it he would also teach her the Shadow Clone technique, as it would prove that her reserves were big enough to handle it.

A month and a half later, Hinata had not only mastered the second step and shadow clones, being able to make eight at a time for training, but she had created several more applications of the Jūken using the technique as well. This time, Ghost took Hinata to a private part of the training grounds to keep Hinata's new techniques a secret from everyone, saying the girl needed to have some moves to herself.

He came back laughing his ass off in surprise and joy. Ghost mocked Naruto, saying that he was lucky that Hinata wasn't trying to become Hokage, otherwise she would beat him hands down. They both knew it was a bit of an overstatement, but it still got under the blonde's skin and forced him to train even harder that week. Currently, Hinata was still trying to get the last step down, but she was making progress every day and it was only a matter of time before she got it.

Rasengan training aside, Hinata was blossoming into a fantastic kunoichi. Her medic lessons with Hana were already bearing fruit, as the girl proved she was capable of already healing broken limbs with her medical ninjutsu, and was even able to identify and treat most of the poisons she was likely to come across in the field. Hana was stunned that Hinata was progressing as fast as she was and was starting to have trouble deciding what to teach the hungry girl next. Hinata had always wanted to learn medical ninjutsu, but her family was against the idea of the heiress of the Hyūga clan attempting a profession whose goal was to serve others. The girl was taking in as much as she could, and needless to say that with her bloodline and her ridiculously high level of chakra control, she could eventually become one of the best medic-nin in history.

Her training with Anko had also borne fruit, as the girl was a tad bit more outgoing than she was before. She would on occasion take off her coat while training, more often than not simply to see Naruto's reaction to seeing what she really looked like. He did not disappoint, as several clones lost focus of what they were doing and fell into the water or off the tree they were walking on as Hinata put on a playful smile. Needless to say, both of them had answered the question that had been floating around their heads for the past few months.

Physically, the girl was in better shape than anyone else in her age group aside from maybe Naruto. She was extremely fast and precise with her taijutsu now that her confidence problem had for the most part been addressed, even with her seal on 2.85x, and her reserves and control were extremely high for a person her age due to the various exercises that Ghost had put her through. Combined with her improved Jūken, the girl was a monster to engage in close range combat…and some mid-range combat as well, according to Ghost.

Naruto on the other hand was a monster no matter what distance he was at. With the ability to create over 2000 clones, replace himself at a moment's notice, transform into anything ranging from a kunai to a park bench to a wall, with Rasengan, two-man Rasenshuriken, Sage Mode, decent medical knowledge and skills (the boy could do low level medical techniques. His control was still pretty bad, but it was at least mid chūnin level at this point considering how many chakra control exercises he did), AND the Seventh Sense, which he had managed to develop enough to tell how many people were around him in a 300 meter radius in most geographical areas, and his gravity seal on 4.5x, the kid was pretty much had the Hokage seat in the bag. All he needed was more experience and a few years for puberty to finally hit. Hinata had him beat when it came to taijutsu, medical knowledge, book smarts, common sense, and agility, but Naruto dominated every other field.

As everyone waited patiently for their 'leader' they all let their minds wander a bit.

_'Troublesome idiot. I want to smoke, damn it! I shouldn't but I do, but…'_

_'How did the Fourth beat the Kyūbi?'_

_'Hinata-chan smells nice.'_

_'Why can't I ever beat a bloody Nara at a board game? I'm called the Professor, for Kami's sake!'_

_'Ooooh. Tentacles! Shiori, you naughty naughty girl.'_

_'Why is the Nara kid here? Is he actually beating the old man? I wonder what his blood tastes like…'_

_'When is Ghost going to get here?'_

Almost on cue, Ghost appeared with a box under his right arm right in front of the group, somehow without being seen, despite them all being in an open field. "What up, bitches?" He asked cheerfully.

"'Bout damn time you got here." Growled Sarutobi, who was glad he had an excuse to get out of the clearly one-sided game.

"Yeah, Ero-nii." Naruto said, "We've been here for three hours waiting for you! Hell, even Kakashi-sensei was here before you!" The blonde nodded to the scarecrow who had been reading by the tree for about an hour.

"Okay." Ghost admitted in a defeated tone, far too quickly for Naruto's tastes. "If you don't want your new special weapon, that's fine with me."

Everyone's eyebrows raised quickly. "Special weapon?" They all muttered. Throughout the entire time Ghost was there, they had not once seen Naruto go through any sort of weapons training aside from the standard kunai and shuriken throwing and dodging.

"Yeah." He replied aridly. "I went through all that trouble to find a weapon that would fit you and your fighting style perfectly. Heaven forbid you actually take up the way of the sword. I've seen enough of those, thank you very much…"

Naruto frowned. "What the hell are you talking about? You use a crapton of swords!" This had everyone's attention, as they had not once seen the man using or practicing with a sword of any kind.

The immortal shrugged. "Well yeah, but that's because I can do shit like this with my swords." And with that the man flicked out his left hand and out of thin air a short but incredibly solid looking falchion style sword appeared in his hand, shocking everyone who hadn't seen one before. The black edge of the blade extended over the front of the entire grip and a jitte-like guard traveled up the other side halfway the length of the blade.

"As an assassin, you need weapons that are easy and quick to hide and whip out on a moment's notice. That's why the kunai and shuriken are standard in your field of work. My swords are a part of me, so I can bring them out in the blink of an eye. You can't do that with most sword-sized weapons. If you did try to learn how to use a sword, you would have to train for a really long time on simply drawing the bastard out as fast as possible. Sure, there are a fair number of shinobi that actually use swords, but so does every other non-shinobi in the elemental nations that fancy themselves a fighter. It's pretty easy to know what to do when you go up against someone using one since everyone has fought a sword user at one point or another. I can assure you that this right here is something that few people have actually encountered before, so you will have a better advantage. Besides, what I got you is WAY cooler, faster, more efficient, and easier to hide than some stupid old sword."

Everyone sweat dropped.

"No… **this** is a cool sword of pure awesomeness." Ghost twirled his weapon in his hand before making it disappear. "I'm talking about pretty much any other sword." He deadpanned as he tossed Naruto the box.

Catching it, the blonde noticed it was slightly larger than the average shoe box. Curious, the boy opened it while everyone watched to see what was inside.

Bracers.

The box had a pair of brand new custom made and wonderfully decorated… arm bracers. Both were dark rust red/orange with black tribal markings all over them. At the front, the designs converged to look like a fox's head on the top. The bracers were designed to adjust to the user's arms from the inside, so there were no hinges to get damaged, although there were odd strips of metal on the side and bottom of each one. They looked cool and all, but a weapon they did not make.

"Um… Ghost?" Anko said.

"Yes, Anko-chan?" Ghost replied innocently.

"These are bracers." Hana commented.

"Yes they are, Hana-chan." The man continued in the same cheery voice.

"Um…" Hinata stalled, a bit confused. "They are nice, but bracers aren't really weapons…"

Ghost smirked. "Before you assume too much, try putting them on for a sec. Just make sure you have the right one on each arm. The side lines are for the outside of your arm, so don't mix them up."

Naruto nodded, still not understanding what was so important about the two lines as he rolled up his sleeves to put them on.

Hinata, Hana, and Anko were skeptically watching Naruto put on the bracers, curious as to why they were so special and why Ghost was so giddy at the moment.

Kakashi, Sarutobi, and Shikamaru on the other hand had at some point all realized what was so unique about the bracers and all had their eyes wide open in surprise. "How many…?" Shikamaru asked Ghost cryptically, telling the man that he knew what the bracers were.

The long haired man smiled eagerly. "Three each."

The three men's eyes widened even more in surprise as the females of the group stared in confusion, but they all decided to wait to see the final product in action as Naruto put the final bracer on.

"Okay. Now what?" He asked.

"Remember how I kept on forcing you to practice cutting leaves with your wind chakra on the edge and bottom of your arm?" Naruto stared at Ghost for a moment before understanding what he was saying. Anko and Hana's eyes widened, showing that they knew what the bracers did as well. "Just make sure that your fingers aren't in the way of the bottom blade." Ghost smirked.

Naruto grinned as if his birthday came early as he put his hands in a chopping position and two very long clear blue chakra blades extended from the bottom of his wrists, wide enough to be from either side of his hand, and stopped several feet away.

"Sweet." He muttered as the audience stared in awe.

"You can change the length of the blades to whatever you want as long as it's within your range of control." Ghost lectured. "You can also use them in conjunction with your Rasengan. This is the reason why I had you shrink the average size of your standard one and why I had you practice cutting leaves with one arm while forming your trademark ball of death with the other. You're charging at your opponent with a Rasengan and he blocks with something? Use the blades to slip in a sneak attack right underneath! It's also good practice for trying to make a one handed Rasenshuriken, if it's possible."

"Rasenshuriken?" Hana, Hinata, and Anko asked.

"You'll see in a few minutes." Naruto said cheerfully.

"Just be careful with this blade kid." Ghost continued. "I based this particular edge off of a design I came across in one of my journeys." He hinted, getting the attention of the people who knew that he was from a different universe. "The guys that used the weapon that this was based off of had to cut off their ring finger in order to use it without maiming themselves in the field. I tried to put as much distance between your arm and the blade as I could without it getting awkward, but it can still cut off your fingers if you're not careful." Naruto gulped. "Relax. It's not like you can't grow a new one with your healing abilities." Ghost chuckled sadistically, scaring everyone within hearing range.

"Uh… Ghost…?" Hana interrupted. "I know that Naruto has some healing powers, but… I don't think it's possible for him to re-grow limbs that have been cut off."

Ghost paused. "Riiiight… I forgot to tell you about that." he muttered as if he just remembered, causing everyone to sweat drop.

"Tell us what?" Anko asked slightly irritably.

"Well…" Ghost said, thinking of how to word his next few sentences carefully so that Hinata would understand without finding out that Naruto had the Kyūbi. Shikamaru had told him all about his conversation with Hinata a few days after it had happened, much to the Nara's concern.

Ghost on the other hand was almost giddy at the news. He was aiming for Hinata to grow a little back bone and show a bit of independence, but this was more than he expected. He had no doubts that Hinata would still see Naruto for Naruto, and told Shikamaru that he did the right thing.

"One of the things that happened after I made those few changes to Naruto, in addition to his new appearance and cleaner, more powerful chakra system" Ghost hinted, "was an increase in his healing ability. The kid can pretty much recover from anything as long as his head is intact and still on his shoulders. Most major wounds will disappear within a week if he doesn't apply a bit a chakra to it." He shrugged as he slapped Naruto on the back of his head. "If you thought the brat was hard to keep down before, it will be almost impossible to now… unless you're me of course…"

"Who are you calling brat, pervert?" Naruto growled.

"You." Ghost replied carelessly, just before he had to duck out of the way before Naruto used his new gift to try to decapitate him. While to anyone else the scene would seem a bit brutal and barbaric, the current watchers knew that the two were just goofing around with each other. They were both perfectly aware of what the other could do to a certain degree, and thus knew where to draw the line.

Attempted homicide (of Ghost) did not cross said line.

Ghost chuckled as he dodged another swipe, "Do you really want to kill me before you find out what else your special gift can do?"

Naruto grunted before stopping his attack. "Fine, oh mighty savior." He spat out sarcastically. "What else can this mighty weapon of extreme pain do?"

Ghost smiled. "Concentrate this time on the side of your arms instead of the bottom."

No sooner did he finish speaking then the blades on the underside of Naruto's arms disappear and get replaced with a large curved chakra blade that covered his entire forearm from his elbow to about half a foot in front of his fist.

"While the underside blades are designed for assassination purposes and that annoying short/mid-range area that swords cover, these blades are for pure brawling." Ghost explained to everyone, entering lecture mode again while donning his graduate's hat and pointing to a blackboard that wasn't there three seconds beforehand. "You can see that these blades extend out of your arm perpendicular to it. This makes it a perfect substitute for when you can't use Sage Mode, yet are still fighting with Frog-fu. Not only that, but it is a great defense when you go up against opponents with large weapons that you can't dodge in time. Unfortunately, unlike the hidden blade, the side blade cannot change in length, so it has limited range." Ghost grinned. "This is why I asked the makers of the bracers to add one last detail."

Hinata blinked. "Sage Mode?"

Ghost walked up to Naruto and pointed to his wrist. "Try focusing your chakra there." As soon as he said that, the side blade disappeared and a new one replaced it. The blade itself looked like a shark fin out of the water, starting at Naruto's wrist and ending at the middle of his forearm. Unlike the previous weapon, this one extended out at least three feet. (Think Flame of Recca) "Unlike the previous chakra blade, this one is meant for pure attacking, and can be used in conjunction with the previous blade while defending to catch the opponent off guard for a quick finish. Nothing surprises a man more than when the thing acting like a shield stabs out and gets you in the face at point blank range."

"I hear that." Anko responded.

"Agreed." Grumbled out Sarutobi.

"It's a very reliable strategy that is not used nearly enough." Nodded Kakashi.

The rest of the people there just stared in awe of Naruto's new toy.

"Where did you get the bracers from anyway?" Shikamaru asked.

"Hm? Oh, there's this place called Higurashi weapons on one of the side streets near Ichiraku's that sells a bunch of good stuff. I think you know the girl that works there. 'Round your age… two buns in her hair… has a huge fetish for all things sharp and pointy…"

Everyone who had their memory back recognized who he was talking about right away and sweat dropped.

"Apparently they have their own smith there and do discounted custom orders if you bring the materials yourself. I happened to have come across several… dropped items on the road while walking through the village, and decided to put them to use instead of selling them at the local pawn shop. You'd be surprised how many things are 'dropped' and the frequency at which they are 'dropped' in this town." (A/N: Thank you, 8 bit theatre.)

Everyone aside from Hinata deadpanned as they quickly figured out that Ghost had actually looted the material needed to make the bracers from the ROOT agents that he had made a mockery of on a regular basis before scaring their mummified leader shitless and warning him to back off. Sarutobi was personally relieved that his old rival was suddenly reducing his activity in town and in the council, as it meant less work for him. He knew that in reality Danzō was most likely biding his time to strike, but the significant decrease in paperwork was hard to ignore.

"Naruto's new toy is impressive and all," Hana said interrupting everyone's train of thought, "but I hope that you gathered us all here for a more important reason than that."

"Of course!" Ghost exclaimed. "Do you really think I would get you all just to show off something as simple as a new toy for Naruto?"

Silence.

"Okay… I would, but that's not the case this time." The man shamelessly admitted before dropping the silly a few levels. "The real purpose of getting you all together today is to inform you on what is to come in the following year and what is at stake. Not all the information will be given to all of you at the moment for security reasons, but you all have an important role to play in future events. First off, I want blondie here to show some of his personal skills that most of you have not witnessed yet to prove how serious the situation is. Whiskers, go into Sage Mode while two of your clones make a Rasenshuriken and blow something up with it." Ghost looked around for a moment for something to blow up as Naruto made his clones. "Old man, could you by chance…?"

Sarutobi sighed in understanding. "Fine, make the old man do all the work, so what if he's old and tired, he's the Hokage! He can do ANYTHING." He muttered sarcastically under his breath as he formed the hand seals for a technique. Unfortunately for him, everyone could hear him perfectly and sweat dropped. "Earth style: Earth style Wall! (Doton: Doryūheki)" The old man shouted before spitting out several globs of mud onto the ground that erupted into a giant rock wall at least 30 meters tall. To those that hadn't seen the technique before and even those who had, it was an impressive sight. The technique was fairly common, but the size was certainly not.

And then they heard it. A loud, high pitched humming sound echoed throughout the air from behind the group. To those who had no idea what to expect, it was frightening. To those who had seen the move before, it was simply humbling. A large sphere, about the size of an Ōdama Rasengan, was hovering above the clone's right hand, four humongous wind chakra blades at the core rotating with incredible speed.

To Ghost, it was beyond impressive. It had been a VERY long time since he'd encountered a wind based technique that he could not recreate or mimic after witnessing once. It was a general rule in his family that if they encountered a signature move in their field of expertise that they could not reverse-engineer from sight, then they would make sure not to learn said move in respect for its creator. They would only go against said rule if the technique was necessary to achieve a specific goal, or if the creator requested that they should learn it. While his family may be chaotic and a bit stupid at times, they all respected other warriors and their personal techniques, and had a strong moral code about fighting conduct, especially Crypt…

Looking at the spinning blade by itself was a unique experience, listening to it more so, but watching it with a sense based on the position of the air around you was something else entirely. Ghost could feel the air in the technique spinning faster and faster in several directions at once with power to match, seeing it form into the billions of needles that could completely fuck up whatever it hit. No… the only way he would learn this technique was if Naruto gave him permission to. This technique was too much of a masterpiece to do it any sort of injustice.

"S-So m-much c-chakra." Hinata stammered in awe.

"Whoa." Anko gaped.

"That sound." Hana remarked.

"Minato…" Sarutobi murmured as he analyzed the giant wonder.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru muttered.

"…" Kakashi remained silent.

"Wind style," Naruto's clone growled, "Rasenshuriken."

Ghost chuckled while smiling sadistically, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end with adrenaline rushing throughout his body. He wanted to go up against this monstrosity of gales.

Naruto hurled the large projectile at the larger wall of stone. Just as the blade entered the center of the wall, the clone cut off its connection to the technique, which caused it to immediately enlarge itself to a ridiculous size, easily the width of the wall. Naruto had been practicing with the technique as well as everything else and had managed to figure out how to enlarge it to almost any size he wanted. Just when everyone thought it was over, the disc blew up with tremendous force, hurling the top half of the stone construct into the air and shattering the bottom half into so much dust and pebbles.

Ghost smiled without worry as the large fragment flew through the air to where the group was watching without a care in the world.

"Shit!" Anko yelled as she realized what was going to happen too late. Hinata screamed, Kakashi and Sarutobi were blazing through hand signs, Hana was frozen in her place, but Shikamaru was as calm as Ghost was.

"Troublesome." He muttered as the giant rock plummeted towards them.

Just as the stone was about to hit them all, it stopped in midair, to (almost) everyone's surprise. Looking around, a majority of the ninja there gaped.

Holding up the immense boulder with his bare hands was Naruto, smirking confidently. It took a few moments for the people there to realize that his eyes were different. Instead of the azure blue and vertically slit eyes they had come to know and love, they were now yellow and were slit sideways, like a frog (… or a toad). He also had weird red markings around his eyes like makeup, except everyone could tell that it was his skin color.

"Guess we know who the strongest person here is." Naruto joked dryly as he threw the stone to the other side of the training ground with little to no effort. The boulder hit the earth with an echoing crash, kicking up a fair amount of dust and debris.

Ghost chuckled in response. "It's no giant rhino, but I guess it will have to do, eh kid?"

"Screw you, Ero-nii." Naruto replied calmly.

"Sorry, I'm neither gay nor am I a pedophile. I guess you have to wait for the snake bastard to show up before you can get your freak on."

Naruto's response was to deck his teacher in the stomach. Ghost went flying due to Naruto still being in Sage Mode, and crashed into several large trees. Luckily, no one realized that Naruto had actually killed the man… who conveniently managed to revive himself underneath the debris without drawing any attention.

Everyone stared at the boy in awe and silence for a few seconds.

"OW!" Was Ghost's response from the rubble. "You little bastard! That fucking hurt!"

The jinchūriki smirked. "Of course it fucking hurt, you asshole! It's supposed to, that's what punches DO!"

"Then I guess you won't hold it against me if I return the favor." Whispered the immortal from right behind a shocked Naruto as he punched the boy incredibly fast and HARD in the kidneys. Everyone was surprised that Ghost could cover such a distance so quickly without anyone noticing his presence.

Poof.

The Naruto that had just been nailed disappeared in a puff of smoke. Ghost smirked as everyone else there either gaped in surprised or hit themselves for not expecting the most unpredictable ninja in Konoha to pull such a stunt.

"It was a clone?" Hana asked incredulously.

"Replacement right?" The assaulter observed more than asked as one of the two clones that made the Rasenshuriken disappeared, leaving what everyone else assumed was the real Naruto.

"Yep!" Naruto grinned as his went back to normal. "You almost had me too. If I didn't know how sick and twisted you were, I wouldn't have suspected that you would pop up behind me as fast as you did."

"Good job." Ghost praised before once again demonstrating incredible speed and sucker punching the kid in the solar plexus before everyone noticed that he'd moved again. "But that punch still hurt like a bitch. Consider this payback."

"You suck." Naruto gasped out before collapsing to the ground in the fetal position. Hinata rushed to help her crush breathe again as the sated child beater walked to the rest of the group.

"And yet you keep on forgetting that important fact repeatedly." Ghost sighed before turning to the audience. "As you have just seen, the kid has some insane skills. The flying doom disc, or Wind style: Rasenshuriken, is an S-rank ninjutsu. The change in the kid's eyes was evidence of him going into Sage Mode, something only Jiraiya of the Sannin is capable of doing, and even then Jiraiya isn't as good at it as the kid is. The reason I'm telling you this is that the opponents that we are bound to go up against in the future are so strong that techniques, skills, and strategies on this level are necessary in order to defeat them. Among them are the missing-nin Orochimaru of the Legendary Sannin, Kisame Hoshigaki, and Sasori of the Red Sands. The reason why I have asked you to participate is that I believe you each have something vital to contribute to ending these threats." Ghost looked around to make sure that he had everyone's complete attention.

He did.

"At this point in time," He continued, "There are two separate groups that we need to be aware of. The first is the new Sound Village that is secretly run by Orochimaru. They are silent at the moment, but will be the first of the two to strike." Ghost noted Anko's reaction to this information. "We are to do NOTHING about them at the moment. As long as they think that they are undetected, they will come to us when the time is right, unaware that we will spring their own trap on them, and hopefully take out the snake in the process." Ghost and Sarutobi stared at each other in silent understanding. The old man would be in charge of killing Orochimaru again, and acting as bait.

"The more worrisome enemy is this second group of missing-nin, Akatsuki. Orochimaru used to be a part of this group before running away. Unfortunately, many of the members in this group are more powerful than the snake freak by far." Ghost conveyed the message heavily to express his point. Shikamaru's eyes darkened while remembering his experience with Hidan and Kakuzu. Kakashi's eyes narrowed, recalling his previous experiences with… pretty much all the members. Sarutobi was thinking of the implications of the public getting their hands on such information. Anko was shivering unconsciously at the thought of going against someone who was more powerful than her mentor. Hana was simply scared shitless and wondering what she had gotten herself into. Hinata was trying to compose herself after hearing such information.

Naruto… was still trying to breathe normally.

"What… are their goals?" Hana asked hesitantly.

Sarutobi sighed. "It is clear that Orochimaru desires two main things at the moment. One is the complete destruction of his previous home." Everyone who didn't remember widened their eyes in shock. "The second… is to learn all the jutsu in the world. As to how the latter relates to us, I'm afraid that is on a need to know basis." Ghost, Shikamaru, Kakashi and Naruto stared at the old man in silent agreement while the women frowned slightly. They would ask what he meant, but the old man didn't seem to be in the mood to explain himself at the moment.

"A-And the Akatsuki?" Hinata asked hesitantly.

Kakashi answered this question. "Their final goals are uncertain, but we do know that whatever it is, they require a certain… power."

"Power?" Anko asked skeptically.

"The nine Tailed Beasts… the Bijū. From the one tailed tanuki… to the nine tailed fox." Naruto muttered darkly, gaining every one's attention. "They need all nine of them in order to achieve their goals... whatever the hell they are. From what we know at the moment, they have to seal away the Kyūbi last, so we have time before they come after… it."

Everyone aside from Hinata who seemed to be thinking about something hard nodded in understanding.

Ghost continued. "From now until these kids enter the Chūnin exams, we will be preparing for the oncoming shit-fest a la Orochimaru. During which we will be training our asses off and gaining the aid of several more recruits, including but not limited to the container of the Ichibi and the remaining two Sannin. My trip tomorrow will be getting the remaining Sannin in on the plan and putting their asses to work. Naruto, I want you to be in charge of convincing the Ichibi. You know he can be a handful at the moment, and technically you are the only person who _can_ convince him to look on the bright side of life." Naruto nodded in understanding. He really didn't want to deal with a homicidal Gaara… again, but he knew what Ghost was really telling him. _"I won't do everything for you, and neither will everyone else. Consider this your first major test."_

Anko raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like you already know the poor kid."

Naruto chuckled sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "You could say that… we have a lot in common."

"U-Um N-N-Naruto?" Hinata stuttered, gaining everyone's attention. Hinata's stutter was nonexistent these days, and only surfaced when she was really nervous about something.

"Yeah Hinata-chan?" Naruto replied.

"Do…Do you have the K-Kyūbi sealed in you?"

o. o. o.

"…From what we know at the moment, they have to seal away the Kyūbi last, so we have time before they come after… it."

Whatever Naruto said next, Hinata didn't hear as she was busy focusing on what Naruto had said about sealing the Kyūbi. The words echoed in her head repeatedly as she tried to put together the pieces.

"… will be gaining the aid of several more recruits, including the container of the Ichibi.…" She heard Ghost instruct the others.

It all fell into place in an instant.

She had been wondering how the Fourth had defeated the Kyūbi for about a month now, when she finally realized that the 'how' Shikamaru had told her to figure out was 'How did the Kyūbi die?'. Hinata had looked at several dozen books in her family's and in Konoha's libraries, but all the books were quite vague about what had happened. They all more-or-less said that 'the Fourth used an incredible jutsu at the cost of his life to defeat his foe and save the village'. Whenever she asked someone about this, she would get the same reply, that 'no one knows exactly what the Fourth did to beat the Kyūbi' … but their body language told her something else completely. They KNEW what had happened, yet were afraid to tell her what it was.

When Naruto said that the enemy would be sealing the tailed beasts, she nearly slapped herself in the face. SEALING. OF COURSE! She had completely forgotten about the seal on Naruto's stomach! It had been so long since she had first noticed the seal that she had completely disregarded its significance. The Fourth was legendary for his sealing skills. It made perfect sense! But… was Naruto the Kyūbi, or did he merely hold it?

As soon as the comment about the one tail's container left Ghost's mouth, Hinata figured out everything. Naruto had the Kyūbi sealed inside him. The reason why the villagers hated him was because they thought he was the Kyūbi, calling him demon and monster repeatedly and beating him on multiple occasions. The seal she saw on his stomach was the seal used to keep the monster in check. When she heard the word 'container', she came to the conclusion that Naruto contained the Kyūbi.

"U-Um N-N-Naruto?"

"Yeah Hinata-chan?"

"Do…Do you have the K-Kyūbi sealed in you?"

Everything was quiet as all eyes present focused on the two. Naruto was in shock, and it didn't take a Hyūga to tell the boy was scared about what would come next.

Anko and Hana were about to jump in and say something when Sarutobi and Kakashi stopped them and gave them the look to keep quiet.

"Why, would you ask me something like that Hinata?" He asked nervously. It wasn't as if Hinata didn't know what he was before the time change, but that the situation had been different. Back then, everyone had to be told for their safety why they were protecting Naruto from an organization of some of the most dangerous ninja ever born. Then all he really had to do was apologize for getting them into the mess…

"Stop beating around the bush, dumbass." Ghost called out nonchalantly, warping the tense atmosphere almost instantly. "We've been over this how many times now? If the girl asks, you fucking tell her. Stop hesitating."

Naruto had a tick mark on the back of his head. "This isn't as easy as it looks asshole!"

Ghost sighed as he rubbed the bridge of his nose like an old man. "No shit, Sherlock. How many times do I have to remind you that I had to go through the same crap with my sister and her demon? Not to mention the graveyards I have stuck in my closet. The less of a big deal you make it out to be, the easier it is to get it out of your system and the less of a horrible impact it will have on the person you are telling it to. If you make it out as if it isn't a big deal, then the person on the receiving end of the information will be more likely think that nothing will go wrong. It's like when you put on that fake smile you always have on when you're troubled with something in order to fool people into thinking you're fine, except this time the stupid fox is not a problem. I took care of it personally. YOU KNOW THIS." He stressed in a tired tone.

"Then why don't you tell everyone some of YOUR deep dark secrets? You don't seem to have any problem brushing huge things off as if they weren't a big deal." Naruto countered angrily, completely forgetting that Hinata had pretty much gotten confirmation that he had the Kyūbi sealed in him.

"Because a good majority of MY secrets are either major turnoffs, are extremely depressing, are actually my fault in a way, or a combination of the three that you can't downplay no matter how I act. You don't see Kakashi here telling people how he got his Sharingan whenever someone asks, do you? Same reason. The memories hurt and it brings up annoying emotions that take the fun out of the whole day and make people stare at you funny whenever they see something that reminds them of said secrets." Ghost explained irritably as most of the people listening sweat dropped at the turnoff comment. Everyone was curious about Kakashi though, and the cyclops himself was intrigued as to how Ghost knew about the story of his eye. VERY few people knew what happened on the mission where Obito died. The immortal chuckled bitterly. "Hell… a few of mine still give me weeks of nightmares on end whenever they're brought up and send me on massive guilt trips. You're lucky in that area. Most of your secrets are simply a result of bad timing and who you are, not what you have done in life."

Naruto paused, trying to think of a reply to what Ghost had just said. He couldn't. He just stood there shaking in rage and confusion in his current dilemma.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata said softly as she hugged him from behind.

"Hinata…chan?"

"I don't care that the Kyūbi's in you." She mumbled into his back so no one could see her tears. "I just wanted to know why people hated you. I wanted to know why you had to suffer. I wanted to know so that you could trust me…"

Naruto froze. He had completely disregarded Hinata's reaction to the Kyūbi, assuming that she would react like most people would: with either fear and contempt, or pity and sorrow. He never expected her to be scared for him and think that he didn't trust her. They had been getting progressively closer now and it was only a matter of time 'til they admitted to one another that they had feelings for each other… everyone around them made sure to remind them of that fact several times a day.

"I hate to be a broken record." Ghost started tiredly, getting the dazed teen's attention again, "But emotions are more powerful than you think. I'm speaking from experience. If you look like are sad, people close to you will get more depressed. If you are happy or confident, people around you are more likely to assume that you are in control of the things in your life. The giant fur ball in your gut is a prime example. If your mood is dark when you tell people about it, they will assume the worst, either about you or the seal. A simple smile can make the difference between a lifelong friend and your worst enemy. And for future reference, the fur ball won't be giving you any trouble again. You WILL have to use his powers at some point…" Ghost raised his killing intent a little to keep everyone quiet for a bit longer, "… because you only have only half of his chakra in you. …And I figured out where the other half is, and it's not good."

Everyone froze, petrified in fear and shock, Hinata's semi-confession seemingly forgotten instantly.

"That…that can't be right." Sarutobi stepped forward in a daze. "I was there at the sealing when Minato sealed the Kyūbi in Naruto… the Shinigami took the entire fox in the boy… I saw it!" He paused as something he remembered kicked in. "But… it… was smaller at the time…"

Ghost sighed as he rubbed his forehead with his left hand as everyone observed him inquisitively. "You all might want to sit down for this…"

Hesitantly, the entire group sat down on the ground. Shikamaru was already trying to place this new piece of information together with everything else he knew to figure out what Ghost was getting at. Kakashi had his book put away. Hinata looked scared as she held on to Naruto. Hana was unnerved. Anko was glaring at Ghost. Sarutobi was staring impassively, for once looking as if he was the Hokage instead of an aging old man.

Naruto was simply in a daze.

"So?" Shikamaru asked.

Ghost breathed out slowly. "The most appropriate place would be to start with some of the details of Akatsuki that I haven't gotten to yet." Ghost then explained what the organization was and some information about their members, occasionally being vague to make sure that info about Itachi and Madara was not known, mainly focusing on the 'leaders' of the group.

"The second leader…" Ghost continued completely serious, "He is **probably** the most dangerous out of everyone you will encounter. He wears an orange spiral mask that focuses around his right eye and occasionally acts like an idiot. The guy is somewhat like me in that he can manipulate his time-space to a certain extent, though he can affect others as well. I do not know the full range of his powers, but I do know he can teleport, fly, become intangible like a spirit, and recover from wounds quickly." He paused to let this information sink in to those present who did not already know before hitting them with the big news. "He is also the person responsible for the half of the Kyūbi that attacked Konoha twelve years ago… as well as being the container for its other half."

"What…?" Hana breathed out.

"Holy shit." Anko gasped.

"H-How…?" Shikamaru stammered in complete shock.

"Of course…" Kakashi's eye was wide open in recognition.

Hinata simply shook in fear while Sarutobi growled as he processed this new information.

"That bastard…" Uttered Naruto in a dark voice as red chakra started to leak out of his body, scaring everyone around him.

"Naruto." Ghost said in a stern voice, gaining everyone's attention. Ghost never called Naruto by his name to his face.

"I KNOW!" The boy shouted as the chakra receded into his body and collapsed to the ground.

"I thought you said that the kid was in control of the Kyūbi…" Anko asked hesitantly.

"I did, and he is. What you just saw was the kid tapping into the Kyūbi's chakra unconsciously with his anger. The chakra naturally impairs the kid's judgment and the way he acts unless he is in a calm state of mind… and since he was unconditionally angry at the time… you get the idea. The problem is that it is much more difficult for him to tap into the Kyūbi's reserves while staying calm compared to when he's experiencing extreme emotions since the extreme emotions are generally on the same wavelength as the fur ball's. The Kyūbi is a giant pot of malice mixed with chakra. It thrives on dark emotions, which is why it pops up where humans have fucked up big time and why its chakra shows up more when he's in a mental jam. I can only help him a bit when it comes to controlling his emotions, but if he truly wants to master that sadistic woodland critter's power, he would either need training from another container, a jinchūriki that can fully control their beast, or my little sister Shadow. Either way, the end result would be extreme mental conditioning." Ghost paused for a moment as he watched Hinata check on Naruto's condition. "For the kid's sake, I hope it's the first option."

"Dare I ask why?" Shikamaru asked skeptically.

Ghost sweat dropped. "Let's put it this way. My training methods for others include but are not limited to throwing sharp implements of various sizes, poisonous bombs, and life sized model cows completely covered in exploding tags at incredibly high speeds. Incredible physically and emotionally draining training while dodging kunai and snakes. Sparring to near death for several hours on end. Hopping around on my BALLS using only my chakra control as a form of transportation, and occasionally ambushing/ pulling highly elaborate pranks on clan compounds, members, ANBU and ROOT headquarters without getting caught… among other things that would get me beaten at the moment."

"That was YOU?" Hana, Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Sarutobi shouted in unison. Over the past few months, several practical jokes had been pulled on all the clan compounds, ANBU and even ROOT members. Said jokes included stink bombs in the Yamanaka flower shop's flowers that went off when someone tried to sniff them, Christmas ornaments on the Nara deer's antlers, tinted sunglasses super-glued over the eyes of several Hyūga members as well as a white walking stick also glued to their hands, all the food in the Akimichi food stores being replaced with bad tasting low fat substitutes, the Inuzuka compound getting completely covered in catnip and attracting all the cats in the village and causing a huge animal brawl (Side note: Tora, the Daimyō wife's cat seemed to have taken out several of the Inuzuka's strongest nin-dogs by himself), the Uchiha compound getting completely repainted overnight with red and pink hearts (with and without sparkles), and setting loose several large families of exploding squirrels from the Forest of Death in the ANBU and ROOT (more often than not ROOT) headquarters.

"And Naruto, Anko, and occasionally Hinata as training for espionage, stealth, trap making, and sabotage. It also helps put the clans on higher alert for future events. You might want to use these events as an excuse to convince the clans and ANBU to increase their training regimen." Ghost replied as if it were an everyday thing.

Sarutobi nodded in agreement.

Anko giggled. "Squirrels go boom boom."

"Heheheh, boom boom. …Er… yeah." Ghost sweat roped as several glaring eyes focused on him. "The point was that I am only considered a mild sadist and reasonably crazy compared to my sister. If she starts to train Naruto… he'll get stronger, but he will also probably double up on the number psychological scars he has right now. I would say that he would also be covered in real scars as well, but with his healing power that won't be the case."

Several moments of silence ensued.

"Is she really that bad?" Hana asked.

Ghost smiled nervously. "Let's put it this way. As soon as my brother Crypt does his tweaks to Naruto's seal, there will be a VERY, VERY high chance that the kid will be raped in an extremely ferocious and fan girl fueled manner."

"Raped?" Hinata asked quietly and dangerously.

"Ummm. Why?" Anko asked.

"She has a thing for anthropomorphic males, especially ones with fox attributes. They apparently have the best tails to snuggle with. They can purr too apparently." Everyone sweat dropped.

Naruto gulped. "I… don't think the additional changes are…"

Naruto couldn't finish his sentence as a very strong hand gripped his shoulder. He turned around slowly to see that the hand belonged to Hinata, who was drooling something fierce. "You are getting those changes Naruto-kun." She said with a possessed voice. Everyone watching could swear that her eyes were glowing.

"Yes ma'am." He squeaked as everyone else backed away from the girl in fear.

o. o. o.

Shadow woke up from her nap in the living room and looked at the sky aimlessly. "Something wonderful and fuzzy is going to happen. I must prepare. TO THE FUZZY CAVE! COME ROBIN!"

Shadow grabbed a still sleeping Waltz, who was on a nearby couch, and jumped out the nearest window into their back yard.

"Hmmm. I seem to be lacking a fuzzy cave at the moment." She muttered to herself as Waltz cried/moaned after being slammed into the ground. "THIS MUST BE CORRECTED! CRYPT!"

As soon as she shouted the name, a body exploded from the ground in front of her, flew several dozen feet into the air, and landed flat on the ground with a heavy thump in the way a cadaver would.

"YES MY LEIGE!" Crypt shouted into the grass. How he could breathe in his current position, no one knew, and Scabbard had long since given up on trying to find out.

"I desire a fuzzy cave! Make it so!" the young woman shouted to the sky as if her word was law… which she technically could make so, but that would take the fun out of dealing and screwing around with a bunch of people who thought that they actually mattered.

"Hai, mon führer!" Crypt responded as he jumped in the air with an impressive amount of flexibility and dexterity and started to bore his way into the ground at an incredible pace. At the moment, he was nothing more than a large, super powered, and demented groundhog.

Shadow cackled with evil glee and rubbed her hands together. "Yeees, YESSSSSS, soon the fuzzies will be mine. ALL MINE! MUAHAHAHA…Waltz? What the fuck happened to you?" She turned to the still sobbing old man next to her.

"You got glass shards in my eyes, you crazy bitch!" Said old man moaned.

Shadow sighed. "You know, despite being the strongest one of us… you sure are a fucking pussy."

"YOU THREW ME THROUGH A TEMPERED GLASS WINDOW WHILE I WAS STILL ASLEEP! I HAVE GLASS IN MY CORNEAS! I THINK A SHARD HAS REACHED MY SKULL!" He shouted in irritation and pain.

"Suck it up, you big baby. Now where was I? Oh yeah…. HAHAHAAAAAAA!"

o. o. o.

Ghost looked up to the darkening sky.

_'Shadow's doing something stupid and causing immense pain to Waltz again.'_

"Not to be rude, but how the hell did you find out about the location of the other half?" Shikamaru asked irritably, trying to get back on topic.

Ghost sighed. "Simple, I asked the Kyūbi himself when I went into the seal the day I tweaked it."

Everyone listening to what he just said could not believe their ears.

"The Kyūbi… told you…" Sarutobi verified shakily.

"Yeah. I had my suspicions about this stuff, but I needed to make sure before I did any further planning regarding the long term chaos." Ghost shrugged. "On a side note, if you get his respect and actually treat him like a normal person/animal/thing that can think for itself, he's actually somewhat decent company… minus the whole… genocide incarnate bit. Being stuck alone in a cage for over a decade can really do wonders to an inflated ego if the owner somehow maintains his sanity." Everyone sweat dropped.

"Hold on…" Naruto groaned out as he got off the ground for what seemed like the tenth time that day. "If that's the case, then why does he still act like such a jerk when I talk to him?"

Ghost deadpanned. "The same reason that so many people think you are annoying. You tend to be loud, obnoxious, disrespectful, and a tad ignorant when you are talking to someone or something that you have set in your mind as an opponent or rival. Try to be a bit more accepting the next time you are up against someone. I don't mean try to give them a hug… although that would be freaking hilarious if you did… I should try that next time…"

"Ahem." Kakashi interrupted.

"Ah! Right. Sorry. What I mean is don't be completely serious when you get into a fight or a tense situation. Loosen up, crack a few small jokes, small talk between skirmishes. It helps relax your body and it might get you the respect of your opponent. They might still try to kill you, but the chances of bad blood erupting between the two sides drastically lower as well as allowing for the possibility of a friendly rivalry. Those are beyond useful when the opportunity shows itself, such as when a third party tries to show up and screw everyone else over. Have you ever wondered why when pretty much all strong warriors fight each other, they have witty small talk during the process? Well… there you go."

"You mean like the Akatsuki trying to screw over Naruto and the fox?" Hana asked hesitantly.

"Pretty much." Ghost confirmed. "The kid would have a lot better chance of controlling his secondary chakra if he would swallow his pride every now and then. A good joke can do wonders for a relationship."

"Oh goodie." Naruto mumbled out sullenly. "I'm going to be best friends with the worst natural disaster in the world."

"That's the spirit!" Ghost agreed in a perky voice. "I'll get started on the friendship cookies as soon as we get back to the apartment! I'm fairly certain I saw a bunny cookie cutter in the top drawer… we would have to get sprinkles, though…"

"So…" Shikamaru interrupted, focusing his cold eyes on Ghost. "The man in the orange mask has the other half of the Kyūbi in him… and I am assuming that this is how he managed to control the half that attacked Konoha in the first place. Correct?"

Ghost smirked. "Yeah. He had other ways too, but that one just happened to be the one he used at the time. It's also the reason why Naruto here has the best shot out of all of you at taking him down."

"You mean you can't beat him?" Hana asked.

Ghost sighed. "Some of you know this already, but my family and I are NOT going to fight any major battles for you or your town. We may take down a bit of cannon fodder in a large fight, or do a few small missions for the village, but the Akatsuki and Orochimaru are solely on your shoulders. We are just here to show you the best direction to take and get the right people with you. Anything outside of those two groups… we'll decide when we get there."

"What are you… scared?" Anko taunted.

Ghost turned to the snake mistress. "Anko… do you really think that I of all people would be afraid of dying?"

Anko and Hana stiffened as if shocked, remembering of their first real encounter with the long haired, sunglasses wearing mystery man.

"Okay. This is getting annoying, so I'm just going to wrap this up now, 'cause I still have to threaten Danzō under penalty of extreme pain to not do anything stupid while I'm gone and get my stuff ready for tomorrow." He said in a tired tone.

"Naruto, Hinata, Shikamaru. You three are going back to the academy. Don't act as if you know each other as well as you do now. Naruto, for now, don't wear your bracers to school. It will bring up too many unwanted questions. If something happens, Shika is in charge since he is the smartest and most level headed out of all of you. The teams are going to be what you expect them to be, so none of you are on the same team. In case I don't get back in time, I expect all of you to motivate your team to be much stronger than they should be. If ROOT agents, or ANBU with blank masks are following you or ask you something, don't tell them ANYTHING and try to get in contact with someone else from our group, preferably one of the adults. They cannot be trusted." The three children all nodded, but everyone could see that Hinata was confused and disappointed that none of them would be on the same team. Ghost turned to the adults.

"Kakashi, Hana, Anko, Old Man," Sarutobi's eyebrows twitched, "You four keep an eye out on the kids and train them in my stead. Make sure nothing suspicious is happening. Sarutobi, you have my permission to let Naruto check out his future home, just don't let him get his head into anything too deep just yet. Other than that, carry on with your daily lives… oh and Anko, you have my permission to put the brat through that SPECIAL training we were talking about a couple of days ago." Ghost grinned evilly as Anko quickly did the same. Naruto was scared shitless as the two laughed in unison.

"Just a fair warning kid… you better pray your healing ability is up to snuff." Hana warned the jinchūriki, not sympathizing with him in the slightest and shaking her head apathetically.

Ghost almost immediately went back to business mode after several minutes of impending world domination style laughter. "To those who know who I'm talking about, don't do anything to the spy. As long as you make sure that your real skills are hidden and relatively unknown, the info he will have can and will be used against him when the time comes." Several eyes widened about the spy.

"A spy?" Hana growled.

"Can I have my way with him?" Anko purred as she licked a kunai.

"Maybe later Anko, but just for future reference, the guy is as skilled as Kakashi, so you might want to rethink trying to take him down by yourself." Ghost answered, watching Anko's face go from sadistic to somber.

Turning to Naruto again Ghost finished his instructions. "Finally, you are going to start going through town without your transformation on. The sooner the town gets used to your new appearance, the better."

"WHAT?" Was the collective response of everyone there.

"Are you serious?" Hana shouted.

"They'll butcher the poor kid!" Anko yelled in a moment of rare compassion.

"I don't want Naruto-kun to suffer anymore!" Hinata cried out in tears.

"Do you know what you are suggesting?" Kakashi asked sternly.

"The end result will be more than troublesome." Shikamaru growled.

"Even I cannot contain the backlash of the entire village." Sarutobi warned.

Ghost simply smiled. "Relax. This isn't the first time I had to do something of this nature. All Naruto needs to do is meet up with me, Kakashi, and Anko tomorrow morning and the rest will solve itself." Everyone looked at him skeptically as his grin grew. "Trust me."

o. o. o.

The next day…

"HHHEEELLLLPPPP!"

"GET BACK HERE BRAT! I HAVEN'T TURNED YOU INTO A PINCUSHION YET!" Anko shouted as she chased a scared shitless and non-transformed Naruto through the village. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Ghost was right behind her with a toaster in one hand and a tube of toothpaste in another. "Come back! I just want to show you the wonders of what toothpaste and toasters can do to the human body!"

"NOOOOOO!" Naruto shouted in self-preservation as he ran for his life, and most likely his sanity.

The entire village was privy to this scene, as the three traversed the most populated areas in the village while screaming their heads off. At first, a good portion of the villagers were shocked and scared of Naruto's new look… that is until they realized that he was running for his life from the 'Snake Bitch' and some weird guy screaming about toasters and toothpaste. One look at the spectacle was enough to make a good majority of the villagers realize that the brat was still a brat and the new look was probably linked to that rumor going around about the seal being changed. Either way, they did NOT want to be in his shoes at the moment.

After several hours of nonstop chasing and maniacal laughter, they moved on to second part of the plan.

Dashing through the market with a face of pure terror on, Naruto made a beeline to Kakashi, who was reading his book and walking down the middle of the street. "Kakashi-sensei! Save me!" He practically screamed as he latched himself to the jōnin's leg.

Kakashi momentarily lost his balance as he stared at the blonde haired youth and then at his pursuers, completely ignoring the large crowd of people watching them.

"Ghost-san, Anko-san. Why are you chasing Naruto and why does he look like Jiraiya-sama being chased by Tsunade-sama and a hoard of jōnin level kunoichi after peeking on them in the hot springs?" Everyone paying attention to the conversation sweat dropped at this comment.

"The little brat stole my DANGO!" Anko shouted with rage.

"Because you called me SHORT, you crazy bitch!" Naruto countered before taking shelter behind the cyclops once more as a kunai flew where his head once was. While the villagers didn't like the kid and were skeptical of his new look, they certainly had to give him props for insulting Anko to her face and stealing her dango, which was normally a sure fire way to get maimed. All in all, he wasn't act any different than normal and the Copy Ninja himself didn't seem to be all that concerned about the kid's new appearance either. They seemed to be treating the kid like any other child that had somehow managed to stay away from an enraged Anko for an extended period of time.

"I just want to scare the crap out of the kid." Ghost replied honestly while smiling innocently. Everyone sweat dropped.

"Any particular reason why?" Kakashi asked.

The man put on a thoughtful expression for a few seconds before giving up and shaking his head. "Not really."

"…Aren't you supposed to go to a nearby village today for a mission?" The cyclops sighed.

Ghost laughed nervously. "Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that. Later."

And with that, he disappeared in thin air almost instantly without even a puff of smoke to hide his exit. Needless to say, everyone watching the spectacle was stunned. While the general populace had little knowledge of what ninja could do, the Shunshin technique was one thing they were aware of… and that was certainly NOT a shunshin.

_'Showoff.'_ Thought Anko, Kakashi and Naruto.

"…anyways, aren't you supposed to be in the academy today Naruto?" Kakashi asked, trying to ignore Ghost's flashy exit.

"I was GOING TO when crazy lady over here shoved me on the street and called me short and, I got… distracted?" He chuckled as he scratched the back of his head and grinned sheepishly.

Kakashi sighed. "Fine, I'll take you there to make sure you don't get 'distracted' again. Anko, please refrain from causing the kid any more psychological trauma. Kami knows how much he has already..." This got a few guilty looks from a good portion of the onlookers. A few though frowned in irritation though. The cyclops and the Snake Mistress took note of these individuals.

"Tch. Killjoy." Anko muttered as she walked away. "See ya later, new pincushion."

"Much!" Naruto answered before dodging another couple dozen kunai. "Where the hell does she keep all those?" A good portion of the watching crowd's ears twitched at this, also curious, but too scared to actually ask in public.

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, that's something that you do not want to know. Anyone who has found out immediately wished that they hadn't, and has spent up to three days recovering from the mental images." Everyone listening shivered. "But right now, we have to get you to the academy. You are already later than I normally am to a meeting. We can't have you picking up my bad habits now, can we?"

Naruto grumbled something about stupid excuses and the road of life.

"I'll take that as a yes. I will go with you just to make sure you don't get distracted again and explain why you are late to Iruka-san. Okay?" Kakashi eye smiled.

"Yes Kakashi-sensei." Naruto replied sullenly as if he actually was 12.

The two walked in the direction of the academy while the rest of the witnesses began whispering about the recent events and wondering what the hell just happened. Instead of being blatantly scared or angry, the people were simply confused beyond known reason, and were even pitying the child a little bit.

It's amazing what random chaos and confusing actions can accomplish when used correctly.

o. o. o.

Scabbard woke up to find himself being moved by someone. This was peculiar, because he distinctly remembered falling asleep on the ground, and his memory was not something that made mistakes. Especially when he could process information faster than dozens supercomputers working together.

He had been traveling around the area and slowly increasing his range of contacts via scratching the back doors of several restaurants and grocery stores and leaving messages in his wake to those who he thought were trustworthy enough to be part of his system. Mostly children, as they were the most dependable for small bits of information. It was a wonder what children could hear without being noticed. If anyone asked where they got their info from, they would truthfully say that a big doggie told them.

Occasionally, he marked a bar, too. He pulled the same stunts as with the previous buildings, scratch at the door and wait for someone to answer. If it's some random kitchen staff, he repeats a few hours later until either he gets the information guy or he loses his patience and goes in his human form and talked to the guy directly. Once he gets in contact with the informant, he simply states that he deals in the information trade and would like to do future business with the man.

The currency and payment will be the same for both sides, cold hard facts and some rumors on the side. A quick flash of the eyes and a small spark of electricity for good measure scared most of the men into keeping quiet if his promise of unique and hard to obtain information wasn't enough to buy their silence. He knew that these men aren't to be trusted with too much, but risks are a part of everyday life… and he made sure that they know that they are the ones gambling with their lives if they let the wrong info about him slip.

Every resource building had the marking of a very small three legged wolf on the bottom right hand corner of the door frame, but also had a fox head marking on one of the corners of the building itself as well. A double symbol system to trick anyone from getting into his system

Opening his eyes, the wolf found himself in some sort of bag and traveling at a decent pace in some direction. From the feel of it, he was being lifted by about three men at once.

From a short distance away he could hear someone chuckling.

"Kukukukukukukukukukukukuku."

"…oh goodie."

o. o. o.

A/N: Yeah, this was longer than I expected it to be. But I think it was totally worth it.

I apologize for Ghost taking up the leading role for so long, but I needed him to in order to get everyone and everything together. He is a very good author's convenience.

Ghost will not show up until the genin exam… so expect a few chapters of Naruto's school life before chaos ensues again. Even after Ghost comes back, his main role is pretty much over aside from a few more parts where he is explaining something or training Naruto or screwing around with someone... Oh yeah, and his initial meeting with Gai and Lee (laughs maniacally).

Once again, this is **Naruto** 's story, Ghost just made himself get everything started.

As for Scabbard and the rest of the family… you'll see. Heheheheheh

Also, what is it with these guys writing Naruto harem fics with Naruto **only** going out with women literally twice his age? I mean, sure we can write about whatever we want here, and I am an avid NaruHina / harem fan, but there are seriously too many people here who are writing nothing but Naruto x anyone above the legal drinking age as if statutory rape is all the rage… and then acting as if pairing the kid with someone in his own age group is the most disgusting thing they have ever heard. It's really starting to creep me out a bit.

So I'm back in college in my junior year at WPI and it is awesome. I don't know how long I can keep up weekly updating, but I will try to hold on.

Also: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Please P.L.! Don't leave! Chūnin Exam Day is too good! Don't Stop Now!

Also Also: Read the stuff by evilfrog1, and Kylewin. It's good shit.

**Just updated ch.1 and 11. Added a few lines of detail and made the dialogue a bit smoother, nothing big.**

Oh yeah… REVIEW!

…

NOOOOOOOOOOWWWW!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 14:

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Long live Team Fourstar! Now tfsdbzabridged! Piccolo is a Yoshi! There is no fourth wall! Where are my pants?!

Please note that since Ghost won't be here for a while, the humor will be toned down a bit, and the main characters will be a bit more serious.

… **I** still won't be taking much seriously though.

o. o. o.

Naruto's entrance into the academy was unique… and by unique, we mean Naruto was still clinging to Kakashi's leg while looking in every possible direction at a record pace out of apparent fear that Anko would show up… which she would.

The chase, the conversation, the toaster… okay, maybe not the toaster and the toothpaste, but everything else was planned earlier that morning to downplay Naruto's new appearance to the general public. Ghost explained to those involved in the group that if a person was exposed to two very unique scenarios, the person would focus their attention more on the larger, more in your face, and blatantly loud one. For example, if the Fourth claimed to have had a wife and announced it to the entire village, then the Kyūbi attacked the same day, the village would obviously focus on the Kyūbi. Not only that, but the after the Kyūbi is gone, the information of the Fourth would be not as significant as if it had come out by itself.

So, using that logic the group decided to announce Naruto's new appearance that day in conjunction with Anko and Ghost trying to scar the poor boy for life in broad daylight. Ghost would leave after talking to Kakashi to show that he is allied with the village, while Kakashi would take Naruto back to the academy. Anko would show up sporadically throughout the rest of the day to scare the living shit out of Naruto and everyone around him to seal the deal. The end result would be people around town talking like this:

"Did you see the demon today? I heard it looks more evil than it did before, and its eyes…"

"I heard, it was getting chased around by the snake bitch and some crazy guy screaming about toothpaste and toasters."

"… wait… what?"

"Yeah, they were running all over the place screaming their heads off. Apparently the kid stole Anko's dango after she called him short or something…"

"Hahaha, the idiot stole her dango?! That's suicidal! What the hell?"

And it all goes down from there.

But enough about how short the human attention span is, back to the - hey look a squirrel...

BOOM!

And thus the handsome and incredibly sexy Narrator died.

o. o. o.

Hinata sighed as she pretended to pay attention to Iruka. Ever since Anko and Hana had started teaching her, everything that Iruka taught her just seemed so dull, repetitive, and dare she say it… useless. The basic strategies that Iruka taught the class were nowhere near as interesting or useful as the ones Anko taught and practiced with her, and the basic theory that he went over with the class should be taught to the remedial class compared to what Hana was covering with her now. The heiress envied Shikamaru at the moment. All he had to do to stay in character was to fall asleep. Lucky lazy bastard.

School had become something of a chore for Hinata. With all the extra training she was receiving and all the practicing she was doing privately, Hinata was miles ahead of everyone else in her age group aside from Shikamaru and Naruto. She still had her façade up… and it was driving her crazy. Hinata had on more than one occasion almost let slip her real skills or talked back to one of her bratty classmates. She was thanking all that was holy that Naruto had admitted that he had feelings for her, otherwise she may had to have to start showing off in class to get noticed and to knock Sakura off her pedestal. How the girl could talk so much with such a high shriek was beyond her.

Hinata knew that her personality was dramatically changing, but it really didn't concern her that much. To be perfectly honest, these feelings for the academy were the strongest and most blatant ones she had next to her adoration for Naruto and her irritation with her clan. While she still acts somewhat withdrawn, she has started to express her opinions more frequently and on occasion has even objected to other's ideas. Hinata hated to admit it, but Ghost's constant taunting and childish behavior had indeed had a decent effect on her.

Personality changes aside, as long as no one found her dream diary and her bag of 'clothes' that she had 'found' several months beforehand during 'training', she would be able to keep her image solid.

… Now, if only Ghost would stop asking her where she put the bag…

Hinata's horrendously mature rated thoughts were interrupted, as well as the class, when a knock at the door sounded. A second later, Kakashi and Naruto entered the room… well, Kakashi walked in. Naruto, paranoid and untransformed, was clinging on to the jōnin's leg. Needless to say, they had everyone's attention.

"Um…Hi." Kakashi said slightly embarrassed. "I think this belongs to you."

Iruka gaped, staring at Kakashi and then at Naruto, then at Kakashi again… then at Naruto again.

"Naruto?" He asked hesitantly with the entire class watching in curiosity. "Are you…"

"SNAKES!" Naruto shouted in a semi-hysterical manner. "EVERYWHERE! SNAKES! NO MORE TOASTERS! I DO NOT WANT ANY MORE TOOTHPASTE!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"What the heck happened to you, dobe?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah, what gives?" Shouted Kiba. "The dead last is more out of it than normal."

"Why did you even bring him here?" Asked an irritating Sakura. "He's been gone for three months. There's no way he can be a ninja now. He's just a failure. And what's with that stupid transformation? Is that another one of his retarded attempts to look cool?"

Kakashi sighed as he felt Naruto twitch. He had heard how bad Naruto had had it in the academy, but he hadn't thought it was quite this bad. Looking at the class, he could see that Hinata and Shikamaru were having trouble holding in their emotions and were glaring daggers at their classmates. He was going to have to do something about Sakura's attitude once his squad was reassembled.

Ghost was right, she was a complete bitch when she first started being a genin.

o. o. o.

Ghost paused as he was walking towards the town where Jiraiya was supposed to be. He took a deep breath through his nose and smiled.

"I love the smell of someone admitting I was right. It smells like… waffles."

o. o. o.

"If you must know," Kakashi replied, not trusting Naruto to answer that rather harsh onslaught of comments from his once-peers, "Naruto's current behavior and tardiness was due to another one of his pranks gone wrong. He, for some reason thought, it was a good idea to steal dango from Anko Mitarashi, a special jōnin of the village who specializes in torture and interrogation and has a summoning contract with snakes. She is also the owner of an incredibly short temper. Later on he was chased by his new … guardian, Ghost, who happens to have a very… unique sense of humor, which explains his ranting about toasters and toothpaste." Everyone sweat dropped.

"THE Anko Mitarashi…" Iruka breathed out hesitantly while starting to mimic Naruto and looking everywhere in paranoia. "The woman known as the Snake Mistress of Konoha… the highest ranked interrogator in the village next to Ibiki and Inoichi… THAT Anko?" This had the entire class' attention. If their teacher was that scared of the woman… then Naruto must have pissed off someone very dangerous… again.

"Yes. So don't be surprised if she pops up today and starts scaring the crap out of everyone here." Kakashi shrugged as Iruka paled.

"Oh crap." Ino whispered, gaining everyone's attention. "I think I know her. Daddy took me to work about a year ago and he showed me some of the people he thought could take over his job. I was talking to this big guy in a black trench coat and a bandanna when this woman with purple hair and a creepy smile snuck up behind me and cut my cheek with a kunai, then licked the blood off of me." She shivered. "Daddy told me that if I value my life, I should never anger her, and under no circumstances was I to EVER touch her dango."

Everyone stared at Naruto in unison, all pitying him and cursing him to various levels.

"Kakashi-sensei, could you not leave today…" Naruto asked while shivering a bit. "I need someone to protect me in case Anko comes back. Ero-nii left the village for a while, so there's no one to distract her in case she comes after me again."

"Yeah Kakashi, who knows what I'll do to the kid without anyone to back him up." Said Anko from the back of the room, grinning like the sadist she was and scaring the living shit out of the students closest to her. "Ghost is gone now, and I have no one to give me any massages." Her grin widened. "He did tell me that he was teaching you a thing or two," she said seductively to Naruto while pulling out a kunai from her trench coat. Hinata's ears twitched at this information, something that did not go unnoticed by the rest of the special group. "Maybe you could practice on me? I promise I won't bite, as long as you're doing a good enough job that is." Hinata's hands were now twitching as she focused on staying in her seat. Anko was having a hard time holding her laughter in as she watched her student suffer.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto trembled… not really faking it at this point. Anko had a habit of getting carried away, and he could only do the replacement and transformation techniques in public.

Kakashi sighed. "Anko, that's enough. I don't want to explain to Hokage-sama why half of the academy students went back home with severe psychological trauma this afternoon. I also would like to have blood circulating in my leg sometime in the near future."

Anko pouted. "Tch. Fine. I guess I'll just have to find another target. But before I go."

A kunai whizzed through the air and cut Naruto's cheek deeply, enough to bleed a fair amount before healing up again. Anko appeared behind a semi-shocked Naruto and licked the blood off his cheek and moaned. "MMMMmmmmm. Kid… I'll let you off today. Your blood is goooood. I haven't had some of this quality since Ghost's a few months back. Just don't mess with my dango again… ok?"

Naruto nodded slowly as the laughing woman walked out the door, leaving a shocked and mentally scarred class in her wake. His classmates were too distracted by Anko's performance to notice that the cut was already gone.

"Damn it." Kakashi grumbled, knowing he was going to have to explain this to the council. "Iruka, just to be safe, I'm going to stay for the rest of the day. I'm supposed to watch over Naruto for the next couple of months anyways."

Iruka could only shudder and nod before looking at Naruto again, who had just detached himself from Kakashi's leg. It was then that he finally remembered about Naruto's new look. "Ah, Naruto. I know you want to look cool and all, but you can't have transformations up during class. You know this."

Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah… Iruka-sensei, this isn't a transformation. I really look like this now."

"Yeah right." Sakura shouted. "Quit lying idiot!"

"He's not lying." Kakashi said with his face already buried in one of his books.

"What?" Iruka asked a bit unnerved. He trusted Naruto like a little brother, but he was still (rightfully) afraid of the Kyūbi, and was concerned that it might be taking over. (Being afraid of Naruto for something that he hadn't done would be silly. Being afraid of an immensely powerful energy-creature-thing that was most of 100 meters tall and capable of casually destroying mountains would only be logical.)

"Well…" Kakashi drawled on, getting everyone's attention. "Naruto's parentage is unknown, so we don't know exactly what happened to him, but his new appearance, as well as some new traits, was sprung up on us about three months ago. We think it might be due to some unknown bloodline limit, but we aren't too sure. As you can see, the cut on Naruto's face is now completely gone. This is one of his new abilities, extremely fast healing. He also has larger chakra reserves…"

"Ha! It's not like he will ever have more chakra than Sasuke-kun!" Ino laughed out loud, getting a nod of approval from almost all the girls in the classroom.

"Actually, he already has more chakra than I do." Kakashi rebutted without hesitating, causing everyone in the room to gape in surprise.

"You're kidding… right?" Iruka stammered.

"Nope. Naruto here has around twice as much chakra as I, Hatake Kakashi, elite jōnin, do, and he'll only have more as he gets older. Unfortunately, this also means that his chakra control is below abysmal. His three month absence was needed for him to re-gain both control of his body and remotely adequate chakra control. Hokage-sama has agreed that the standard clone technique may be beyond him at this point in time considering that his overwhelming reserves make it far more difficult for him to make one, but Naruto here didn't want any special treatment." Kakashi explained. "In fact, instead of telling you how much chakra he has, why don't we simply test him? If I remember correctly, there should be a chakra level measuring device somewhere in the academy."

Iruka snapped out of his stupor. "Y-yes. There is. We haven't used in some time, but I think it still works. Just a moment." And with that Iruka left the classroom in a bit of a frantic hurry.

Silence plagued the classroom as everyone inside stared at Naruto and Kakashi… who was giggling perversely every few seconds.

"Sooooooo…" Kiba said, breaking the silence, "You two know each other?"

"Yeah." Naruto replied, apparently somewhat back to normal after Anko left. "Ero-nii was making sure that my body was developing in the right way, but he had to leave for a while for business, so Kakashi-sensei here was brought in to keep an eye on the end of the process. He's a bit of a perv, but he's really strong."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, Naruto." Kakashi muttered while turning a page.

"He kinda looks like someone from Kiba's family." Chōji mumbled through his mid afternoon snack as he looked at Naruto more carefully.

Kiba smirked. "Yeah, right. Everyone in my family smells like dogs to some extent. Blondie over there on the other hand reeks of foxes."

Everyone stared at Naruto, expecting him to reply.

Naruto simply shrugged. "Heck if I know why. I'm an ORPHAN. One at birth, remember?" This comment caused everyone, including Kakashi to flinch. "I simply woke up one day feeling like crap. It lasted about a week, and I ended up like this. Ero-nii happened to be in town and saw me. He knew what was happening to me and decided to help me out with my new changes… although sometimes I wish he didn't." He shivered. "The end result was that I have a lot more chakra, my control is okay after the crapton of training he made me do, and I can do the transformation and replacement techniques faster and easier than before. I can see and smell a bit better and my taijutsu isn't as horrendous as it was before. I still can't do the stupid clone technique, but I hope to get it down by the time we graduate. I honestly don't know why I have to learn that freaking technique, it's not like I can't learn something else with my reserves… stupid chakra control, stupid Ero-nii, stupid cows…"

Shino spoke up. "Ghost? Isn't that the name of the stranger who snuck into town a few months ago?"

Everyone else from a clan who didn't know about the man perked up. "Yeah, my dad was ranting about the guy…"

"…eating ramen…"

"…rude as can be…"

"… cool black trench coat…"

"Yeah, that's Ero-nii." Naruto confirmed everyone's suspicions. "The guy is strong as heck, but I don't think he's entirely there half the time."

 _'Like Gai.'_ Kakashi mused.

"Tch. I bet he's just another idiot loser like you are. Why else would he willingly be around someone like you for three months?" Sakura pouted.

Before Kakashi, Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru had time to even think about how stupid Sakura was being at the moment, Iruka and Mizuki, who had been on break, came back with the chakra sensing machine. It was rolled in on two stands. On the first was a large metallic ball on a rod. Wires connected the rod to the second stand, which had a large screen, currently displaying a 0.

"Hehe." Iruka chuckled. "I found it in the storage area under an inch of dust. I'm surprised it still works."

"Kakashi! What are you doing here?" Mizuki asked curiously. If one paid close enough attention, they could see a slight twitch in the man's hands.

"I just dragged Naruto here after he almost got skewered by Anko." Kakashi replied in a bored tone.

"What a shame." Mizuki replied in a tone that almost resembled sarcasm.

"How does it work Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked poking the large screen curiously, ignoring Mizuki.

"What you do is simply put your hands on the ball and channel a fair amount of chakra; it doesn't have to be a lot. The display shows how many units of chakra that person has." Iruka replied. "If I remember correctly, the average genin has a level of around 150 units, chūnin have around 500, jōnin have around 1500, and a kage-level ninja could have anywhere from 5000 up. I've heard of one ninja from Kiri who was rumored to have had chakra levels of around 16000 units. Because you are all still academy students, anything around 100 will be considered high, though. Let me give you an example."

Iruka walked up to the ball and placed his hands on it. A few seconds later, the attached screen displayed the number 631.

"Not bad Iruka." Kakashi mused as he walked over to the ball. "Let me have a try." ' _Last time I checked, I was around 2670.'_

Kakashi placed his hands on the ball. Several seconds later the screen revealed an impressive 3985. There were several mumblings among the students.

Mizuki whistled. "Damn Kakashi. Last I heard you were still in the mid 2000's. Keep that up and you might just get the old man into retirement."

"Like hell he is!" Naruto shouted a bit too eagerly, pushing Kakashi into Iruka and putting his hands on the ball. "That hat is mine!"

"Naruto you dumbass!" Ino shouted. "Stop fooling yourself! There's no way… someone like… you…"

Everyone in the room who didn't expect it stared at the ball in shock at the number on the screen. 8742. (A/N: NO, I AM NOT DOING AN OVER 9000 JOKE! Too easy.)

"You were saying?" Naruto grinned, on the verge of maniacal cackling.

He has kage-level chakra reserves.

"No way…" Kiba whispered.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru mumbled.

"Well, at least you all now know that Naruto here is a ninjutsu type." Kakashi sighed.

"Move, dobe." Sasuke demanded as he pushed Naruto aside and touched the Magic 8 ball… I mean the chakra sensing sphere.

"I didn't know you were so interested in big shiny balls… Uke." Naruto teased, using the nickname that Ghost used for the Uchiha. Naruto was disappointed that he didn't think of it first. Several of the boys in the class laughed hard while the entire female population in the room minus Hinata got up to wail on the blonde.

"Dobe." Sasuke growled at the insult as a number showed up on the screen.

238.

"…Impressive." Kakashi commented, doing nothing to placate the dark haired youth's ego. "As expected from the rookie of the year."

"This thing must be broken." Sasuke growled. "There is no way the dobe has more chakra than I do. He can barely do a standard clone!"

"I said this before." Kakashi sighed. "Because his chakra reserves are so high, his chakra control is far worse than any of you could possibly imagine." He looked around the room until he saw Sakura. "You… what's your name?"

"Sakura Haruno, Kakashi-sensei." The pink haired girl replied, momentarily forgetting to maim Naruto.

"You look like a smart girl, Sakura." _'If only in book smarts at the moment.'_ "Can you tell me what the Inverse Law of Reserves and Control is?" The scarecrow asked.

Sakura blushed as she instantly went into textbook mode. "Yes. The theory is that the higher a person's natural chakra reserves are, the more difficult it is for them to control its natural flow. Likewise, a person who has naturally small chakra reserves will find an easier time controlling the flow of their chakra."

Kakashi sighed. "So using that logic, wouldn't it make sense that Naruto, having the immense chakra reserves that he does, would have trouble making a clone, which requires the most control out of the academy three?"

Sakura stumbled as the rest of the class got the hint and started to look a bit guilty. "Yes… but… the leaf balancing exercise should have helped him with that, and he wasn't different before he left…"

Iruka sighed as Mizuki's eyes twitched in irritation. "That would be the case with anyone with normal chakra reserves, Sakura, but as you have seen, Naruto is a different case. "

"Most control exercises are designed to raise a person's control and their reserves at the same time. The leaf balancing exercise is designed with this in mind so that people with small reserves can build on both slowly, so you get used to the steady increase and control it better. Naruto here already has chakra levels that are on an immense scale, and I have a feeling that they were fairly large before his got his new look." He said while looking at Kakashi, who was reading his book again.

"That being the case, Naruto had to learn not how to bring out his chakra, but how to stop it from going all over the place. You have to understand that this has never really happened before, which is why we never suspected that this _could_ happen. Naruto would need an extensive amount of extra chakra control exercises just to have the same amount of control as a normal genin. Naruto, I as your teacher am sorry for making such a simple mistake."

Naruto shrugged. "Nah. Don't worry about it, Iruka-sensei. Ero-nii taught me not to blame the masses for something that they don't understand. He did tell me to beat the living daylights out of the ignorant and the stupid, but I don't think that would fare well with a good portion of the village. Plus, that would mean that I would have to beat the crap out of myself, and I don't want to do that. I'm not that flexible yet."

Several chuckles echoed throughout the classroom.

"All right. Enough lecturing. Class is almost over." Iruka said in a lighter tone. "If you want to see what your chakra levels are, get into a line and wait your turn. I'm not going to bring this huge thing out again."

As the entire class lined up (Shikamaru and Hinata were very last), Iruka turned to the cyclops. "Is it…?" He whispered.

"Ghost fixed a flaw in the seal, resulting in Naruto's changes. The last three months were needed to help him get used to the new information and adapt to his new body. He knows, Iruka, and he's trying not to let it control the way he lives his life. You should try not to let it control yours either. Other than that, he's pretty much the same. Just don't let others know that he knows. I can't tell you why, but consider it an S-class secret."

Iruka nodded as he watched his students walk up to the ball and place their hands on it, all at one point staring at a goofy grinning Naruto.

o. o. o.

Mizuki couldn't believe what he had just seen. The demon brat was already as powerful as a Kage! Couldn't anyone tell that the monster was in control? Its eyes were a dead giveaway!

He would have to go ahead with his plan a bit earlier than expected. The demon was getting too strong. It must be killed. All he had to do is take him aside so Kakashi didn't hear anything…

o. o. o.

Hinata was not having a pleasant time after class. Even though she had discovered that her chakra levels were well above chūnin level (782), she was taken directly from school to her clan estate, so she couldn't talk to Naruto about the previous day. Kurenai said that her father had asked for her to come home immediately. She knew that Sakura's comments had hurt him, but she couldn't do anything to help him in public or people would get suspicious.

That and she REALY wanted him to give her a back massage. She was thanking her lucky stars that no one saw her bleed from the nose and drool at the same time at the end of class.

When she got home, she was instantly sent to the clan's training ground where, surprise, surprise, her father, sister and the council of elders were waiting for her. Hinata still had her façade up, but on the inside she was more than irritated. Aside from the boring school, pent up sexual frustration, inability to do anything for Naruto, confusion and stress about what was to come in the following year, and her family acting like complete assholes, the girl was about to snap. And unfortunately for Hanabi, they had provided her with a target.

"Hinata," one of the more annoying elders started.

Hinata had noticed a few months ago that a couple of the elders had mysteriously disappeared… ones that she wanted nothing more than to slap on the Caged Bird Seal and turn on full blast. When she asked her father what happened to them, he merely stated that they had resigned from the council. Hinata recalled that Hyūga council members only resigned when they died or when they were deemed unable to give good council. She also recalled her father almost smiling when he said it.

"You will now fight your sister in a match. We will use it to determine whether you are adequate enough to bear the Hyūga name. Should you fail our expectations, you shall be banished from the clan. Do not disappoint us." Several of the council members were smirking. They couldn't wait to get rid of the 'weakling'. Hiashi, on the other hand, was rather uncomfortable with the situation. If things got bad, he had a feeling that Ghost would start running his mouth… and not in a childish manner either.

Hinata, keeping her temper, shakily nodded and walked onto the sparring platform. She didn't want to, but she would have to win this time in order to stay in her family.

"G-Good luck Hanabi-chan." Hinata stuttered out, trying to keep her temper in check.

Hanabi scoffed as she got into position. "I don't need luck, failure."

… Fuck it. Sister or not, Hanabi was going down. Hard.

As soon as the signal was given, the two sisters rushed each other. Everyone watching had their bloodline activated, so everyone watching would get a perfect view of how badly Hinata was going to beat Hanabi. Whether or not they would be able to follow what happened next was another story.

As Hanabi threw her first strike toward her sister's left shoulder, Hinata simultaneously parried the arm and pumped her own chakra into it, curving the strike all the way up her sister's arm and effectively crippling the offending limb. Hanabi would completely recover, but there was no way in hell the girl would be using it for the rest of the battle. It took Naruto over a minute to heal from such a wound, so a normal person would have to wait days to fully recover.

Hanabi, completely shocked and caught off guard from the surprise counterattack from her sister and the extreme pain going up her arm, was helpless as her older sister proceeded to strike her two more times in rapid succession in the shoulder and chest, effectively knocking her out cold.

The elders and Hiashi were stunned. They had expected a quick fight, yes, but with Hanabi the winner. And certainly not in merely three strikes.

"What… just happened?" Asked one elder.

"I'm not too sure myself." Replied another.

"It appears that…" Started a confused Hiashi. "She curved her chakra when she deflected Hanabi's strike, and forced it up her arm…"

"Impossible." Growled an elder by the name of Komashi (A/N: I love making shit up in Japanese, it's so easy and you don't have to make any sense at all), one that Hiashi deeply loathed. Komashi was a heavy supporter of the caged bird seal, and it was common knowledge that he occasionally raped some of the Branch house women, married or not. Unfortunately, there was never enough evidence to prosecute the man, since none of the rape victims ever spoke up against him for obvious reasons… "The weakling cannot be this strong. Why would she throw those fights if she wasn't?"

"Because, honorable elder," Hinata answered in a dead tone while glaring at him with a stare that Hiashi would be (and was) proud of, "Unlike some other members of this family, I actually care for others' wellbeing. Under most circumstances, I would have thrown this fight, for I care about my little sister's health. However, the stakes of it were too high this time, and I happened to have a long day and am weary." Everyone listening to Hinata shivered. Apparently the girl was losing to her sister each time on a whim, regardless of how her family looked at her. They would have to be more careful when dealing with her now.

Looking around, Hinata continued. "I do not believe I will get the peace and quiet I will need here, so I am going to go to the village now. I will answer any questions you may have for me when I return. Farewell." Hinata turned to the entrance, which she had just entered in through five minutes earlier.

"Wait, Hinata." Growled one elder. "You have much explaining to do. We demand an explanation for your skill and…"

"You would have continued to have known nothing if I had continued to play the role of a weakling, which by the way, you had mistaken my unwillingness to attempt to harm my father and my sister for." Hinata interrupted coldly, unnerving some of the other elders. "You risked not knowing for some time now without much concern for my own wellbeing or mental health. I doubt a few more hours will have any more of an impact on your EXCEPTIONAL decision making skills. Like it or not, I am still heiress of the Hyūga clan, and still hold some power. As such, I am telling you that I will answer any questions I deem are necessary WHEN I deem necessary. Good. Night."

Hinata walked out of her family's compound with her head held high leaving a large group of old men gaping in her wake. On the inside of the compound, the elders and Hiashi were wondering how strong Hinata was, and what they should do when she returned.

On the outside, Hinata appeared serene and composed.

_'Crap Crap Crap CRAP! WhatdoIdo whatdoIdo whatdoIdo?!'_

_Appearances can be deceptive, eh?_

o. o. o.

"Hmmm." Sarutobi mumbled as Naruto and Kakashi waited for his verdict.

Just moments earlier, Naruto had entered the office with Kakashi in a bit of a panic demanding that the security seals be placed. The second they were, Naruto blurted out that Mizuki had already asked him to steal the Forbidden Scroll, which concerned the old man a bit.

Naruto and Sarutobi had already asked Ghost about the repercussions of trying to trick Mizuki into moving a bit earlier than last time a few weeks beforehand, but Ghost had responded that he had already thought of it himself. Unfortunately, he did not want to risk giving the village council a reason to banish or execute Naruto, believing that the reason they didn't manage to do so last time was because the Hokage made Naruto a genin, putting him under the Hokage's sole control before they could pass a vote. Sarutobi remembered that the first time this happened, he had barely managed to get Naruto's ninja registration papers signed off before the council was all over his ass trying to banish and or execute the boy.

"May I make a suggestion, Hokage-sama?" Kakashi asked, interrupting the old man's contemplation.

"By all means, Kakashi."

"Why don't we just label this as an unofficial mission for Naruto to aid in the capture of the suspected traitor Mizuki, with me as a hidden supervisor? You didn't have anyone else involved last time, and this could help with Naruto's reputation. Since Ghost is proposing a new training regimen with you as one of the test subjects, we could use this incident as a sort-of promotion for it."

Naruto and Sarutobi looked at Kakashi before looking at each other curiously.

"Go on…" Naruto urged, intrigued.

Kakashi eye smiled. "Simple. You just do what you did last time, except this time I show up to apprehend Mizuki after he announces his intentions. With the Hokage providing the story and me backing it up, there should be enough evidence to keep the council off your back."

"Wait, aren't you supposed to be protecting me because quote: The seal is still setting in and the right hits in the wrong place could let the fur ball out? Wouldn't the council get a bit skeptical if you let ME of all people aid in the capture of a potentially dangerous individual?"

Kakashi shrugged. "That's why I'm going to be there in the first place. Hokage-sama has complete faith in my ability to take down any obstacle that might present itself during this mission and protect you in the process. Besides, you were VERY persistent in helping us and we just couldn't say no to you." He hinted in a tone that didn't trick anyone.

"Your reward for aiding in his capture can be what you learned from the scroll. I assume that Ghost-san wanted you to have another look at it?" Sarutobi asked.

"Yeah, Ero-nii said to copy down around five new jutsu for me to work on. He said that I should get some wind style in my jutsu repertoire, since all I have right now in terms of elemental ninjutsu are my juiced up Rasengan and chakra streaming for my blades, but above all else try to learn the Exploding Clone jutsu. He was doing his creepy laugh when he started thinking about it. I asked him why, against my better judgment, and he simply asked me to picture a thousand of my clones running all over the place covered in exploding tags. Then he started to laugh some more. … then I started to laugh. Heheheheheh."

The older two men in the room paled at the thought of Naruto learning the Exploding Clone technique… and knew that Ghost would kill them if they tried to stop Naruto from learning it.

_'We're accomplices in creating a monster.'_

"Hokage-sama, please don't tell me…" Kakashi asked his superior in an extremely nervous tone.

"It's called the Forbidden Scroll for a reason Kakashi… unfortunately." Sarutobi replied crying anime tears.

"Shouldn't we get going?" Naruto asked, snapping the two men out of their fear induced stupor. "Mizuki told me to get the scroll to training ground 82, ironic, by around 11, and I need to get the right supplies to copy down my new jutsu as well as get enough time to actually 'learn' one of them before the bastard gets there."

Sarutobi nodded. "Of course. As of this moment, you two are assigned a B-rank mission to confront and apprehend the traitor, Mizuki… what's his last name again?"

Kakashi and Naruto looked at the Hokage, and then looked at each other, then at the Hokage again.

"You know, I don't have the faintest clue." Kakashi replied.

"Got me." Naruto shrugged.

Sarutobi sweat dropped. "He's been your teacher for several years… how do you not know his last name?"

"Hey, don't try to blame me for forgetfulness old man. You're the one who hired him for the job. You should know your employee's names by now, especially the ones that are in charge of teaching your future ninja."

"Cut me some slack brat. Unless you've forgotten, I'm OLD, and in charge of an entire village of ninja." Said village leader grumbled.

"Ummm… guys?" Kakashi interrupted. "Remember the plan? You know… the one with Mizuki? And the scroll? Tonight?"

Knock knock knock.

The three males turned to the door.

"Yes?" Sarutobi asked, releasing his privacy seal.

"Hinata Hyūga is here to speak with you Hokage-sama." Said the secretary from the other side of the door. "She said it was urgent."

Everyone listening to the message's eyes widened at this statement.

Sarutobi got up from his desk and opened the door to see a slightly unnerved Hinata on the other side of the door. Looking back into his office, he saw Naruto and Kakashi eye the girl in concern. Sarutobi sighed. This was going to be a LOOOONG night.

"Naruto, Kakashi. I believe that our conversation is pretty much done for the night. Whatever Ms. Hyūga wishes to discuss with me, it seems to be private, so I am kindly asking you to leave."

Naruto flinched in understanding. It would not do to be in the same room as Hinata while she was having an important conversation with the Hokage with other people aware of his presence. He didn't like it, but he had long since learned (more like had beaten in to his head) to keep out of other people's business, at least in the public eye. "All right old man. I'll see you later. Come on Kakashi-sensei."

Naruto walked out of the room, giving Hinata a worried glance as he passed. Kakashi simply followed the blonde, seemingly not paying attention to the distressed girl as he read his book out the office.

As soon as Hinata entered the room, Sarutobi set up the privacy seal yet again. "So I can assume that something is amiss, Hinata?" He sighed.

"Y-yes Hokage-sama. I may have revealed a bit of my true ability to my family in a match against my sister earlier today. Now they are starting to ask questions."

Sarutobi rubbed the bridge of his nose in frustration. "How badly did you beat your sister?"

"I beat her in three hits Hokage-sama… with the first being one of my applications of the first step." The heiress nervously explained.

The Hokage frowned. "Did you tell them anything?"

Hinata shook her head. "No, Hokage-sama. As soon as the match was over, I somehow convinced… well, more like scared them into waiting until later tonight for me to answer any questions. As soon as I left the compound, I came right here."

"Scared them?" Sarutobi raised an eyebrow.

The girl blushed. "Y-Yes. The academy has shown itself to be… less challenging ever since I started my training with Naruto-kun and Ghost-sensei. With the additional stress of yesterday's news and my family threatening to banish me if I performed poorly in my match against Hanabi… I can only say that I may have lost my temper a bit."

The old man let out a tired sigh. "I don't blame you. Your family can be a bunch of stuck up pricks if I do say so myself. No offence."

"None taken, Hokage-sama."

"Back to the topic at hand… so your family knows that you have been hiding your true skill, correct?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes. I believe that my father may have known that I have been up to something ever since he first met Ghost-sensei, but he has not made any motion or said anything that would confirm it."

"Then how do you know?" The Hokage asked curiously.

The girl hesitated. "He has been… more lenient on me. He does not insult me as much as before, and he is more considerate of my apparent limitations during training. I cannot think of anything else that would cause it."

"Hmmm…" Sarutobi pondered. The situation was a tricky one. He couldn't risk lying to the Hyūga clan or else he might do some irreparable damage to their relations, ignoring the fact that Hyūga are extremely good at detecting deceptions in the first place. Bending the truth might work, but by how much? If what Hinata is telling him was something to rely on, then Hiashi and Ghost probably have some sort of shared hidden agenda. Ghost had hinted as much during their frequent meetings the past few months.

…Hidden agenda? Maybe he could work from that angle…

Hinata watched nervously as the man known around the elemental nations as the Professor slowly formulated a solution in his head, his smile growing with every second.

Ghost and Naruto weren't the only ones who could make up brilliant plans on the spot…

o. o. o.

Anko, Hana, Kurenai, and Yūgao were all drinking at a local bar on their weekly girl's night out. (A/N: For all extensive purposes, the Ninja rule: Old enough to kill, Old enough to have sex, Old enough to drink applies here legally.)

"So come on…" Yūgao egged on a blushing and slightly hammered Hana. "Who is it? You're not hiding it very well."

"I'm not telling." Hana managed to slur out.

"It's Ghost, ain't it?" Anko drawled while swaying side to side.

"Eeep!" Hana blushed.

"Heheheh, nothing to be afraid of girlie, I'm startin' to get a soft spot for the crazy bastard myself. Besides, his massages are literally to kill for." She started to drool.

"Ghost?" Kurenai asked. "You mean that foreigner that came into town a few months ago? Why him? I mean, yeah you have occasionally tried to rape him across town with Anko, but I just thought it was because he gives good back rubs."

Yūgao continued. "Yeah. I heard that he's not all there in the head. He even had the nerve to insult the council to their faces… okay, I'm starting to tell why you would like him. But isn't he just some stranger? I mean he might be strong, but he's still just another village-less ninja right?"

Anko chuckled. "You have no idea." Kurenai and Yūgao motioned at her to continue. Anko obliged as she leaned forward, causing the other girls to follow suit. "I once forced him to actually show some of his skills against me. Nothing big, just some stealth and assassination trials. I swear, if I didn't know any better I would have assumed the guy was really a ghost. The second I said go, he disappeared in an instant. I couldn't tell where the fuck he was; no scent, no sound, no trails, no chakra, nothing. I started to wonder if he had found out that I was going to try to rape him if he lost to me (Cue mass sweat drop), when I start to hear these weird noises all around me, and I'm talking _weird_ weird. Like, wounded animals, occasional slight wind blowing right past my ears, fucked up echoes all around me, Gai screaming about youth. It was creepy as hell and it didn't take long to completely fry my nerves, and then suddenly there was nothing but pure silence all around me." The women listening swallowed heavily as they got more into the story.

"… And don't tell me it was a genjutsu, Kurenai. I tried to dispel whatever the hell it was, but there was nothing there to begin with." Anko suddenly whipped out an arm and slammed it on the table, scaring the women and making them jump back. "Two seconds later, he has me pinned to a tree with at least forty kunai and I'm wondering what the fuck just happened. He was so fast I couldn't even pull off a replacement in time. I managed to get off of the tree somehow, and the overconfident bastard hadn't moved an inch since he appeared before me, but before I managed to pull out my kunai or make any seals, he took his hand out of his pocket and held my panties out in front of my face! The ones I was actually wearing minutes beforehand! And don't tell me THAT was an illusion, because I checked… Anyways, I was too shocked to do anything else at the moment aside from gape at him. He simply laughed, threw my panties on top of my head, and walked away. And here was the creepy part." The girls leaned in close at this. "As he was walking away, he started to disappear slowly into thin air, like a freaking ghost. The bastard was playing with me the entire time. I was never scared so shitless and turned on so much at the same bloody moment before then!"

There was silence at the table.

"So does that mean that you're a masochist?" Hana asked. The rest of the girls face faulted.

"Why?" Yūgao sniggered as she picked herself back up. "Do you need someone to talk to about the best way to tie yourself up at night?"

"N-Noooo." Hana stuttered as she looked away unconvincingly.

Anko chuckled. "I wonder what Tsume would say if she found out her eldest pup from the proud and feral Inuzuka clan, raised to be an alpha, liked to get whipped like an omega."

"Says the woman who was turned on after being pinned to a tree and having her panties taken off without her knowing." Joked Kurenai. "Honestly though, I thought that from the way you described him, you two would have had your way with him by now… not that I approve but…"

Anko shrugged. "I don't blame him on my part. Any time I get turned on near the guy, I get… clingy and pointy. Apparently he doesn't like getting cut while making out. Any time I try to get my hands on him, he slips through my fingers and runs away for his life. Maybe I should try Hana's approach next time and make myself the damsel in distress instead of him…" The women at the table started to deadpan as Anko started to drool.

"I… haven't tried to do anything to him either… aside from those times he gave me a massage… mmaassaaggeee." Hana started to drool in tandem with Anko as Kurenai and Yūgao sweat dropped.

"He can't be THAT good…" Yūgao mumbled.

"He isn't…" Anko fantasized.

"He's better…" Hana continued.

"The best." Anko finished.

"Maaaasssssaagggeee." Both said in unison.

"Okay, this is getting a bit creepy." Kurenai shuddered.

"Join us." Hana/Anko chanted. "Become one with the sisterhood."

"Damn it Anko, what did we say about corrupting Hana?! I have to work with her in the field, you know." Yūgao growled.

"You make it sound like this guy is perfect." Kurenai groaned. "I bet he has a ton of skeletons in his closet…"

That snapped Anko and Hana out of their day dream, as they remembered the first time they really met Ghost. This didn't go unnoticed by the other two women.

"You know something, don't you?" said Yūgao.

"Spill it." Kurenai ordered.

Hana looked to Anko nervously. Both shuddered at the memory.

"Sorry." Hana replied.

"Can't say. The guy was pretty serious when he told us not to let anyone know. Hokage-sama even told us to make it an S-class secret, even when he himself doesn't even know. That is how important this guy is." Anko said in a distracted tone.

Kurenai and Yūgao looked at each other in confusion.

"Was it that bad?" Yūgao asked.

"…" Hana was pondering what she could say. "… For the rest of my life… I will never forget what I saw that day. Those visions and sounds will haunt me forever… and I cannot talk to him without occasionally seeing flashes of that incident before my eyes, and wonder how he can stay remotely sane…"

"Hana…" Anko hissed.

"You saw it too Anko! You saw the entire damn thing! Can you honestly tell me that Orochimaru could come up with anything as bad as what he went through?" Hana snapped.

"…"

Yūgao and Kurenai were quiet in fear and shock. Whatever the two women saw… it was bad.

"L-Lets just drop the subject." Kurenai said, trying to calm down her friends who seemed to be experiencing some unwanted flashbacks. She would have to look into this later, S-class secret or not. Yūgao was thinking along the same lines.

Everyone's train of thought was interrupted by a sudden commotion going throughout the bar.

"The demon's stolen the Forbidden Scroll!"

"I knew it couldn't be trusted."

"The Hokage's demanded that all available ninja go to him at once."

The girls all looked at each other.

"Anko?" Hana whispered.

"Yeah… something seems off." Anko mumbled darkly.

"What are you two talking about?" Kurenai whispered. She had heard about Naruto and his constant pranking around the village, so she would admit that she would be a bit biased against the boy… but not to the degree that the other villagers were. She was level headed enough to try to know the boy herself before drawing any real conclusions.

"We can't say much right now…" Hana started, "But we know that Naruto is not the kind of kid who would simply try to steal the Forbidden Scroll and try to leave the village. He isn't like that. He's loud, childish, and a bit dense at times, but he isn't a traitor of any kind."

"Yeah." Anko continued in a low tone. "Besides, the kid is tight with the old man. I mean really tight. The brat would probably give the geezer his left nut if asked to. The only reasons why I think the old man would be calling everyone together like this is if something has gone horribly wrong… which I highly doubt… or,"

"Or they're trying to hide something." Finished Yūgao.

"So what do we do?" Asked Kurenai.

"For now, we just go with everyone else to the Hokage to see what he has to say. Then after everyone else leaves, Hana and I will get the real story from the old man. If you two happen to see Kakashi, keep him in your sights. He's supposed to be keeping an eye on the kid for now." Anko instructed in a low volume as she put her share of the bill on the table.

"Right." The other three women nodded as they left the bar, ninja-style … 'cause they're cool like that.

o. o. o.

"So remind me again how this is going to work?" Asked a skeptical Naruto to a disinterested Kakashi and a nervous Hinata while copying his third jutsu from the Forbidden Scroll.

"Sigh, this is the last time Naruto." Moaned Kakashi. "Hinata here is under suspicion from her family after showing off a bit too much."

"I said I was sorry." Mumbled Hinata from inside her coat.

"It's okay, Hinata." Comforted Kakashi. "It was bound to happen someday. It was admittedly a bit earlier than we'd hoped for, but at least the timing was convenient. Anyways, what we are going to do is essentially the same as before. Naruto is alone in the training field when Mizuki comes for the scroll. Hinata and I will wait in the bushes for confirmation of Mizuki's betrayal. When that happens, we come in to apprehend him, me in front and Hinata as backup. We then take him back to the Hokage, taking the long route, both to show everyone of Mizuki's betrayal and of your involvement."

Naruto nodded while looking through the scroll for his fourth new jutsu. "I get that much, but why does Hinata getting involved with this have to do with explaining her skills to her family? Oooooo. Wind style: Wind Fang Bullet. Nice." (Fūton: Fūgadan (A/N: Yes I made this up. Deal with it.))

Kakashi sweat dropped, wondering if he would survive the bell test this time around. "I was getting to that, Naruto. Once the chaos involving Mizuki and the village council dies down for the night, we will go to the Hyūga council and deal with them."

"What are we going to tell them, Kakashi-sensei?" Hinata asked hesitantly.

"The truth of course." Kakashi eye smiled.

"WHAT!" The two youths shouted.

"Quiet down, you two. You don't want to be found before the plan comes into action, do you?" The two shut their mouths while blushing. "Not the entire truth, but a good portion of it. We'll tell them that Ghost has been secretly training you two as test examples for a program that is going to be implemented starting with the next batch of genin. We'll tell them that Ghost handpicked you two in particular, and that you were under strict orders from the Hokage himself to not tell anyone, as the program was not fully established or supported yet. This mission here was a test to see the outcome of the training, with me here as a supervisor. Your reward was 'learning' the Shadow Clone technique from the scroll with the Hokage's permission. If you are asked how you learned some of the other things that they have seen you do, simply say that it was part of the program and that you are under orders to keep it secret. If they complain about you two working in close proximity to each other, we can calm them down by saying that we have no incentive to put both of you on the same team, as it would make your team far more powerful than the others regardless of how they are assembled."

Hinata looked down in defeat. She was hoping that she would get placed in the same team as Naruto when they graduated from the academy, but it seems like her hopes had just been shot down. Naruto and Kakashi saw this immediately.

"Kakashi-sensei…" Naruto said worriedly.

"Don't worry, you two. Do you honestly think that Ghost would do something like this without finding some sort of loophole?" Kakashi eye smiled. "I can't tell you the details yet because it's supposed to be a secret, but I can assure you that if both of your teams become active squads, which they most likely will, you will still see plenty of each other while training."

Naruto grinned as he went straight back into the Forbidden Scroll. Apparently the scroll had not only forbidden jutsu, but also all elemental and other techniques B-rank and above as well. Naruto had already written down the instructions and descriptions for the exploding shadow clone technique, Wind Release: Pressure Damage (Fūton: Atsugai), Needle Jizō (that thing Jiraiya does with his hair), Wind Release: Wind Fang Bullet (a technique similar to Shukaku's drilling air bullet, only smaller), and…

"Heheheh. This will do nicely." Naruto started chuckling evilly as he found his final wind technique.

"I don't like the sound of that laugh, Naruto." Kakashi stated nervously. He was starting to think that the boy was spending too much time around Ghost.

"What jutsu did you find?" Asked Hinata as she looked at the final technique her crush had found. She immediately paled while reading the name and description of the technique.

_Wind Release: Maelstrom of the Wind God. (Fūton: Fūjin no Naruto)_

_S-class forbidden wind jutsu._

_82 hand symbols…_

_Description: Creates a number of large, fully developed tornadoes. Number of distinct funnels will depend on how much chakra is put into the technique. Deals immeasurable damage to the surrounding area and anything it comes into contact with. Tornadoes will move and act according to the caster's will, provided their movements don't cause the tornadoes in question to destabilize. Requires mid-high Kage level chakra reserves and high level wind element chakra control in order to perform… and survive performing. WARNING: CONSTANT FOCUS MUST BE APPLIED TO TECHNIQUE WHILE ACTIVE OR ELSE THE TORNADOES WILL ACT ON THEIR OWN. ONCE AUTONOMOUS, CONTROL_ _**CANNOT** _ _BE REGAINED._

_(A/N: I made this up too. Wheeeeeee!)_

Kakashi stared at the technique in awe. "I heard of this… It was during the end of the third war. Suna was losing a major battle against Iwa when the Fourth and a few platoons came to their aid and pushed Iwa back. The Kazekage was so 'grateful' that he gave us this technique as a way of saying thank you… only to find our rage at discovering that no one in Konoha would ever be able to perform it. I don't doubt the Kazekage gave it to us so easily because he knew that that was the case."

Kakashi gulped. "My… sensei told me that it was the final technique of the first Kazekage… the one he used to **literally overwhelm** Shukaku in a battle of wind and weaken him enough to get everything in place to seal him away the first time, at the cost of his life. …Naruto." Kakashi turned to the blonde sternly. "I will not tell you whether you should learn this technique or not… but if you do, be sure to use it even less than the Rasenshuriken. Even with Sage Mode, I don't think you would be able to hold this technique for long without doing massive damage to yourself. Damage I don't even think the Kyūbi can heal."

Naruto stared at his teacher solemnly, then looked at a shivering Hinata. Several minutes passed in silence.

"Sigh. Kakashi-sensei, I understand your concern, but unfortunately I feel that I will need this technique in the future. I will take your advice to heart and only use it when I have little to no other option left. Thanks." Naruto said sternly as he looked at the Copy-Nin square in the face. Then he started to write down his new trump card.

Kakashi nodded, and then turned his attention to Hinata, who was shaking profoundly.

_'It seems that Hinata has finally been overwhelmed by what she's involved in.'_

Sighing to himself, he walked over to the girl and nudged her to Naruto. "I'll be nearby in the woods to alert you when Mizuki comes." He whispered as he disappeared into the forest.

Hinata gulped as she understood what Kakashi was doing. Slowly, she walked up to Naruto from behind and hugged him.

"Hinata?" Asked a shocked Naruto.

"I'm scared." She mumbled out into his back as tears flowed out of her eyes. "I'm scared Naruto-kun. I don't know if I can do all this…"

"It's just Mizuki, Hinata-chan." Naruto tried to reason… not understanding what the girl was afraid of. "Ero- nii said that you're really strong… strong enough to become Hokage if you really wanted to…"

"No I'm not." The girl wailed into his back. "I'm just a scared, weak, twelve year old girl. I'm the shame of my clan. No one expects me to do well. I was almost banished from my clan a few hours ago! How can I stand up to someone like Orochimaru when I can't even stand up for myself? How can you even look at me? How…"

Slap.

Naruto had turned around so fast that Hinata had lost her grip on him and he smacked her across the face hard. Hinata stared at Naruto in shock, fearing that he was going to hate her as he stared at her coldly.

Then he hugged her tightly.

" **I** can because I have precious people there to help me and precious people to protect. And you do to Hinata-chan."

Hinata froze in shock for several seconds before completely breaking down and crying heavily into Naruto's neck while hugging onto him for dear life.

This went on for about fifteen minutes before Hinata finally calmed down. They had still yet to part. Somehow, Naruto managed to make a clone to finish writing down the wind technique of ultimate destruction without ruining the moment. Ghost would be proud.

"Hinata-chan, whatever happens I want you to know that I will always think that you are strong. You lived with a family that constantly put you down, yet you always managed to continue to get back up regardless for those you cared about. Who cares if your sister and your cousin are prodigies? Does it really matter? All it means is that it will be that much greater when you beat them in front of everyone else."

Hinata snuggled into Naruto's chest, unintentionally rubbing herself against him. Luckily for Naruto she didn't notice his blush. "But what about the Akatsuki? I'm just a girl Naruto-kun. I can't fight a bunch of S-class missing-nin…"

Naruto chuckled. "Alone most likely." Hinata looked down in depression. "But that's what we have allies and friends for. We didn't say this before, but the Akatsuki shouldn't make any major moves for around three years. Not only that, but they don't know that we know most of their secrets and abilities. So we have the advantage." Naruto looked up to the night sky. "Ero-nii told me that out of everyone that is in our group right now, the ones that show the most promise right now are you and me… in that order. He said right after you showed him your variants on the second step that you would have a better chance of becoming Hokage then I did… and later on he told me that he wasn't blowing hot air."

Hinata's eyes widened. "B-but how? You're so much stronger than I am and…"

"Combat strength is only part of the job Hinata-chan, you know that." Naruto gently corrected while brushing her hair. "A Hokage, more than power, needs to be able to make the right decisions, needs to be able to keep their head on their shoulders, not lose control, needs to have the backing of the villagers… right now you have the better chance at the hat then I do." He sighed. "Right now, I'm still the Kyūbi brat in everyone's eyes. Even if I've gotten better, I'm still short tempered and make stupid mistakes. I lose my concentration way too easily and still have trouble with some of the more basic aspects of life. That is where you have the edge on me Hinata-chan."

Hinata was quiet for a few minutes, pondering about what Naruto had just said. "Naruto-kun?"

"Yeah Hinata-chan?"

"What would you do if I became Hokage instead of you?"

Naruto was stunned for a moment before he started laughing loudly. "Hinata-chan, I would be the first person to bow before you and call you Hokage-sama."

"You wouldn't get mad?"

Naruto smiled. "You are the only person around my age that I would be perfectly happy with being Hokage other than me… Hokage-sama."

Hinata backed away from Naruto for a moment to look into his blue eyes and smiled, deciding to go out on a limb and kissed Naruto on the cheek, causing the boy to blush heavily. "Of course you would. Who wouldn't want their girlfriend to be known as one of the most powerful and respected shinobi in the elemental nations?"

Naruto put on a thoughtful expression. "… Shikamaru?"

"…"

"…"

"Snort… bwahahahhahahaha!" The two laughed in unison at the idea of Shikamaru marrying an extremely high caliber kunoichi.

… And Naruto knowing that it would eventually happen … again.

o. o. o.

In Suna, a 15 year old girl with blonde hair tied in four pigtails sneezed while wielding her giant fan, causing the attack that she had aimed at her teacher to instead go towards the elder of her brothers, who was tinkering with his puppet Crow. Two seconds later, said brother was pinned to a wall by his own puppet tools, traps and appliances. While no one else had noticed, the girl's youngest brother had almost cracked a smile at the amusing sight.

o. o. o.

Shikamaru was practicing water walking when he sneezed and fell into the river he was practicing on, causing enough of a commotion to gain his father's attention.

"Shikamaru?" Shikaku asked as he saw his son climb out of the river.

"Troublesome." The son muttered under his breath as he tried to come up with a story for his current situation…

o. o. o.

It took a while for the two to catch their breaths after laughing so hard.

"Hinata?"

"Yes, Naruto-kun?" Hinata giggled, wiping a tear from her eye.

The blonde smirked. "I want you to promise me that you will try your hardest to be as strong as you can… to be Hokage. And I'll promise you the same thing. It'll be a contest to see which one of us will get the hat first."

Hinata blinked in a confused manner. "But isn't being the Hokage your dream? What if I really do become the Hokage instead of you?"

Naruto grinned as he stuck out his hand. "Then I'll support every decision you make."

Hinata returned the smile as they shook hands and promised each other that one of them would be Hokage.

"… so I guess we're officially unofficial boyfriend and girlfriend now." Naruto chuckled.

"Yep!" Hinata beamed as she hugged Naruto with all her might.

"Will you two please be quiet? I'm trying to copy down this impossibly long jutsu here!" Shouted the clone that Naruto made earlier.

Naruto groaned. "Way to kill the mood, asshole."

"Do YOU want to copy this bastard down?" Said clone replied, clearly not giving a damn.

"A clone?" Hinata asked in a dazed voice. "When?"

"Right after genius here slapped you." The clone answered without remorse, ignoring the original's silent gestures for 'Shut the hell up, you dumb fuck!'. Naruto proceeded to slap himself in the face.

"I needed to get the damn thing written down and Mizuki is coming soon." Naruto groaned to a slightly hurt Hinata. "If I didn't make the clone, I would have been too distracted to focus on you."

"Nice save."

Poof. The clone dispelled via a kunai in its head. He quickly made another clone. "Don't be like the idiot. Just finish writing down the technique." Naruto growled to the second doppelganger. Thankfully, the memories of the dispelled clone told Naruto and the new clone where it had left off, and it was almost done with everything. "And that is why I'm not ready to be Hokage yet…" He grumbled more to himself than to Hinata. Just a couple more hand seals…

"Naruto, Hinata, he's coming." Kakashi appeared before the two could continue their conversation. The temperature dropped considerably as everyone got down to business. Naruto's clone finished writing down everything on the second scroll and quickly packed everything away in Naruto's pockets as Naruto rolled up the forbidden scroll and looped it around his back.

Hinata walked up to Naruto and pecked him on the cheek, which got a raised eyebrow from Kakashi. "Be careful Naruto-kun…"

Naruto smirked. "You don't have to worry about me. I'm gonna be the Hokage."

Hinata was already following Kakashi into the woods, "Not if I have anything to say about it." She said confidently just before she disappeared into the foliage. Anko had really taught her well.

Two minutes later, Iruka showed up in the clearing out of breath.

"Hehehe. Looks like you found me Iruka-sensei. Does this mean I have a chance to be able to graduate now?"

o. o. o.

Scabbard chuckled to himself as he walked through the woods on his three paws and prosthetic leg. It was far too easy for him to escape Orochimaru's hideout, even with all the security seals in his way. Once again, mankind's inability to presume that other species are capable of higher levels of thought has led it down the path of ruin.

As soon as he arrived at the hideout, the snake bastard locked him in a seal-lined cage designed to sap its content's energy and prevent one from manipulating electricity. The Sannin then quickly left to obtain some materials from another hideout to perform future experiments on him.

Too bad for Orochimaru that Scabbard has an ungodly amount of energy in him. He barely even felt the drain.

It was an easy task to disrupt the seals that prevented him from using any of his electrical powers and wedge open the cage. All he had to do was use the parasite in his body to extend a tendril from his tail and literally scratch the seals until they were useless. Sometimes the crudest methods are the most efficient. It's a shame that the seals around him were inadequate at keeping him from using his powers. He was hoping for more of a challenge from the so-called genius Sannin.

While the seals around him prevented one from controlling **the flow** of electrons, AKA electricity, they did nothing to hamper controlling of the electrons themselves, which is what his power was. Absolute electron manipulation. It was something only a few people knew about, and fewer people knew how to truly counter. Getting out of the cage and room that he was in was a moot point after disrupting the seals. All he had to do was rip the door open with his parasite… and blast the prison door open with a monstrously powerful beam of electricity.

The man may be a bit lacking in the emotion department, but he certainly got points in the 'loud and flashy techniques' department.

Regardless, his less than subtle methods had set off all the alarms in the base, causing many of the shinobi in there to believe that one of Orochimaru's long term experiments had gone wild again. Thus, any shinobi that crossed Scabbard's path ran away from him as fast as they possibly could. All of the ninja knew better than to kill any of their master's projects, and that went double for getting in the way of any of them.

However, that didn't mean they didn't have plans for when such events happened. Standard protocol dictated that should one of Orochimaru's experiments go out of control, all resident shinobi would move to designated safety zones while the rest of the base was sealed off and flooded with a strong sleeping gas, which was already saturating the air as Scabbard walked down the hallway.

Too bad the gas had almost no effect on the man/dog. Scabbard frequently experimented with his body down to the molecular level, seeing which chemical compounds did what to which parts of his body and so forth. It was one of the perks to being an unequivocal genius and being able to screw around with one of the three things that make up everything tangible in all the known universes. While he had yet to subject himself to this particular brand of gas, he had still adapted his body to an unnaturally large range of poisons and sleeping agents. The result was that the gas' effect was reduced to make him at most a little light headed, and that sensation only lasted for a good 30 seconds before Scabbard made the appropriate changes to deal with the gas entirely.

Before leaving out of sheer boredom, Scabbard decided to do a bit of exploring around the panicking base… and came out with two VERY interesting treasures that he came across in the main laboratories.

The first was of course, information. Scabbard had to hold in a laugh as he downloaded all the information from one of Orochimaru's computers directly into his brain within several seconds by simply touching the computer's USB drive, and uploaded a virus that would secretly send him updated information on a weekly basis. Not only would it do that, but the virus would implant itself into any and all uploaded programs and connected terminals and spread itself indefinitely. It was amusing how one of the Snake Sannin's greatest assets in this world would end up being one of his greatest weaknesses. Plans, seals, hideout locations, maps, foreign agreements, jutsu, poisons… all his. He could last a while on this in the underground information trade.

However, the second treasure was by far more intriguing and entertaining.

A small ring with the kanji for 'Void' that was oh-so-carelessly left on a mounted old withered hand…

o. o. o.

A/N: Yep… another chapter, another night completely lost, and another hundred million brain cells killed.

I'm gonna close the poll soon regarding whether Sarutobi lives or dies, and whether Haku is a dude or not. So far:

Sarutobi:

Live: 31

Dead: 4

Haku:

Dude: 11

Not Dude: 25

If you don't like what you see, vote now or forever moan in anguish.

As for the Sakura and Sasuke bashing… I just need to get it all out of my system before I make them competent. It's… it's just too easy when it comes to those two. Please be patient, they will be somewhat sane and logical soon.

Okay: Please don't tell me that Kishi actually decided to do the 'Sage of Six Paths had two kids that decided to kill each other after daddy died and now their descendants are causing problems for everyone' storyline. That is not right. It's too predictable, and easy to see coming. I hope that the guy comes up with something decent to make up for it soon.

On a side note: I really hope to get up to the big 100 reviews by the end of ch. 15. I'm not saying "Grrr, review or else I won't write anymore". I'm not an asshole and will still write regardless. I just want to see if my story will make it to triple digits by then. If you want to, I would greatly appreciate anyone who gets my story's name more widely known around the site.

I have a feeling that my title and summary are partially to blame for some people not taking interest. With that, if anyone thinks they have a better title for this story… please don't hesitate to suggest it… unless you are trying to be funny and give me a bad title instead… that's **my** thing.

Oh, by the way, Deathmvp: thanks for the reminder for Naruto's and Hinata's alone time talk. I had completely forgotten about it.

If anyone else has decent and logical suggestions like that, please do not hesitate to let me know. Worst case scenario is I completely ignore it. Best case is I tweak the story according to the suggestion and make it better. Yay better!

Also, I have decided to not make this a crossover, and by that I mean no characters from other series will appear in the Naruto-verse, they will be referenced occasionally, but no one else aside from my OCs will actually appear. I WAS planning to have Archer from Fate Stay Night (Unlimited Blade Works Movie coming out January next year YYYYEEEEESSSSS!), Geno from Super Mario RPG legend of the seven stars, and some other guys, but I decided against it after concluding that it would take away more than give to the story. So anyone worrying about what was going to happen later do not need to anymore.

Anyways… blah blah blah please review blah blah blah watch out for the demon chicken of doom blah blah blah I like waffles.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 15:

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

The poll is closed! Haku has boobs and the old man will live long enough to become completely bald. WOOHOO!

Review responses. YAY!

To:

demonic demon boy:

It kinda caught me off guard that a fellow male is calling me a pretty boy, but thank you very much none the less. This gives me an idea for a new poll.

NEW POLL! To all my readers out there answer me this… **am** I a pretty boy? Please note that this has no impact on the story whatsoever. I'm just doing this for shits and giggles.

Winter demon:

Ghost is most likely going to get both Hana and Anko… but he REALLY deserves them… almost as much as Naruto deserves half the Harem fics that are made on this site. Ghost and Waltz in particular have very depressing pasts that may or may not show up in the story later on depending on how the story ends up. Also, Haku is going to be paired with someone… but I doubt anyone, or at least most people are going to be able guess who it is.

T-Biggz:

I'm pretty set on Naruto's jutsu right now… but I am interested in what you have for Hinata. Send me an email and I'll let you know what I'll use. Thanks for the offer.

HEE-HO-KING:

I'm sorry. No one can stop the Demon Chicken of Doom. It's just impossible, and unhealthy. He will appear later on in the story, but I assure you that it will only be at most once or twice.

P.S.: I am awesome. Just throwing it out there.

o. o. o.

"So let me get this straight…" Shikaku Nara said while addressing a somewhat tired group consisting of Naruto, Hinata, Kakashi, Anko, Hana and the Hokage in the middle of the council room with the entire village council watching. "You two are part of an experimental training program that may or may not be implemented on a larger scale as soon as the next batch of genin is registered. This system was created by Ghost in order to deliver a more balanced and efficient training experience to the newest batch of genin. Said program was still in its experimental stages, which is why only you two, which I am to understand were handpicked by Ghost himself for unknown reasons, were trained in this fashion. Anko and Hana, while not in the original plan, wound up in this mess but managed to contribute to furthering the plan's progress by teaching some of their skills to you two. This is why you are more… capable than we assumed and were allowed on this unofficial mission to capture the traitor Mizuki, confirmed by Kakashi, Hokage-sama, and Ibiki. Correct?"

All eyes were on the small group as they all nodded. Hana was shrinking before her mother's piercing stare, and Hinata was somewhat unnerved by her father's apparent lack of emotion.

Naruto, Kakashi, Sarutobi, and Anko… couldn't really care less about how much they were getting stared at. They've had worse.

"Am I to assume…" Shibi spoke up, gaining everyone's attention, "That young Shikamaru was originally chosen as well?" This raised a few eyebrows.

There was a split second's pause as the group looked at each other with a few glances before Naruto let out a snigger. "Yeah, Ero-nii was thinking of putting Shikamaru in the group as well. But when he asked him… that night, the lazy bastard said it was too troublesome. He said that he would only screw up the review reports and make it look bad. He also said something about his mom killing him if he agreed to a deal with some older guy that he had just met."

Grumbling was heard throughout the room as several of the council members agreed with the Nara's judgment. They still did not approve of Ghost or his methods, but at the moment, their hands were tied. Shikaku was trying to not think of what was going to happen to his son when he explained that particular fact to his wife. … It would explain Shikamaru's awkward behavior lately and his occasional 'secret' chakra control training sessions.

"Speaking of Ghost, where is he?" Asked one curious civilian. "I would assume that he would at least appear to defend his program. He put enough effort into making it to at least warrant our interest." Several other councilors mumbled in agreement.

"He put in twice as much effort to piss us off, though…" Grumbled another person in the council.

"Who are you trying to fool? He wasn't even trying to do that…" Corrected the woman next to him.

"Ghost-san has currently left Konoha to manage some of the business that he mentioned when he first arrived here." Sarutobi explained, ignoring the many, and oddly enough true, statements of civilian council. "If you haven't noticed, it has been three months since he had first graced us with his presence, so it would only be natural that he would leave as scheduled. He will be back within three months, around the time of the genin exams, so there should be nothing to be concerned about."

"Nothing to be concerned about my ass. My back is going to be killing me until he gets his butt back here" Anko grumbled. Hana nodded in silent agreement.

"Oh?" Hiashi asked, causing the girls to flinch. "What does Ghost have to do with your backs?"

"Yes, do tell." Hana growled to her daughter more than anyone else. She didn't like or trust Ghost, and hearing that Hana was spending extended periods of time with the man didn't help things.

Hana shrunk back. Her mother was one of the few people in the village that truly made the girl at unease. "I-Its nothing mom, it's just…"

"How many times to I have to tell you that you address me as Inuzuka-sama in front of the council!" Tsume snapped.

"Tsume." Chōza sighed. "Let the poor girl speak. Does it really matter how your daughter addresses you in front of others?" Hiashi mentally sighed at this, knowing it did matter with him and his daughters, even if he wished it didn't.

"It does when she is 17 years old and a chūnin." She growled. "Now tell us what you mean when you said your backs would be killing you?"

Anko blanched. "Ah… I just mean that he gives really good massages. REALLLY good massages… mmm… maaassssaaaggeee." Anko started to drool. It didn't take long for Hana to start leaking out of her mouth too. The council sweat dropped, and Tsume was contemplating which incredibly painful way she should use to kill Ghost for inadvertently causing her daughter to embarrass her in front of the council.

"Hmph." the elder Koharu grunted. "Like it or not, he is gone for three months, so either you find someone else to give you your back rubs or you wait. Now if you will…" She never got to finish her sentence as Hana and Anko both turned their heads to Naruto with evil glee. Naruto responded in kind by screaming like a little girl and hiding behind the Hokage… who was pondering if he could actually take on the two women in their current state and live to tell about it. Hinata, on the other hand rushed in between the two pairs and prepared to fight the two women… in order to claim first dibs on Naruto's back rubs. Of course, no one knew about that yet.

Kakashi… was reading a book.

Needless to say, the entire council was very lost and speechless.

"What's going on?" Inoichi asked incredulously.

"Well…" Kakashi replied as if a genocide was not about to occur a few feet away from him. "Ghost taught Naruto here several things such as some advanced chakra control, better fighting forms, common sense (OI!), how to throw kunai better, basic strategies, and was in the process of teaching him others before he left. One of which was, for better or for worse, how to give a massage that would have women melt in your hands. Apparently it's an extremely effective and non-lethal way to obtain information from females… unless they have weak hearts, of course. Anko and Hana here can attest to this." Kakashi nudged his head towards the catfight in the making. "It's the main reason why you've seen Ghost running for his life away from them these past few months. A rub here, a squeeze there, and before you know it you find yourself on the bottom and your tenant on the top. It's a shame they won't let me watch…"

"Like hell we will pervert, now put down the book and help us get our new toy." Anko growled as she tried to circle the Hokage to get to Naruto as Hana distracted Hinata. Everyone watching noted that if this went for much longer, the two women would more than likely try to go through Naruto's human meat shield to get to him…

"And why is my daughter protecting Naruto then?" Hiashi asked, curious and a bit scared to find out.

Kakashi chuckled. "It is actually quite amusing and ingenious really. While Ghost was teaching Naruto how to give a massage, Anko here was teaching Hinata some of her own interrogation methods." He saw the looks the council and Sarutobi were giving him. "NO, not THOSE methods… not yet anyway. I'm talking about cutting someone up with a kunai, telling when someone is lying, creating poisonous and truth serums… and how to do use some sex appeal to intimidate someone." Hiashi's eyes twitched. "The overall deal was that both would use each other as test subjects to practice what they've learned. In short, they have first dibs on each other. It just so happens that Naruto hasn't had a chance to 'practice' on Hinata yet, which she has been looking forward to very much, while Hinata has been practicing filleting Naruto here for about two weeks already. It is already known that poison and truth potions don't work on him. That healing power is really something…"

"It still freaking hurts you sick bastard!" Naruto shouted as he dodged another snake from Anko. "Back foul demon! BACK I SAY!"

"So you're saying that Ghost was giving my daughter and Anko here massages that were so good that they could have divulged confidential information?" Tsume growled.

"Pretty much." Kakashi shrugged. "But I wouldn't worry about Ghost wanting information from those two. Although he knows much about the village already, he doesn't seem to be interested in clan secrets or techniques. He really was simply giving them the rubs as an apology for dragging them into this so quickly. They weren't supposed to be involved yet from what I understand… and neither was I for that matter, but unlike them I respectfully declined my massage."

"…"

"…"

"Why won't you help me?!"

"…"

"I was kidding." Kakashi deadpanned. "Ghost nearly threw up when I asked him as a joke where my massage was."

The entire council sweat dropped at the scene in front of them. It was clear that Ghost was having a larger impact on them than they thought as they saw the brawl continue. To Hiashi's amusement, Hinata was putting up a fairly decent fight against Hana.

The old man was getting sick at this point from being spun around so much.

"Hana!" Tsume barked, on the verge of jumping out of her seat and whipping her daughter right then and there. "Stop this right now!"

Tsume's outburst was enough to snap Hana out of her daze and back to reality as she retreated from a very scary Hinata. She hadn't used any of her Jūken, but she still could hit hard.

"Hinata-chan!" Naruto yelled as Anko dragged him away from Sarutobi completely covered in snakes. "Save me! I don't want to be raped!"

"Eight Trigrams: Thirty Two Palms!" Hinata shouted as she rushed the unguarded Snake Mistress and perfectly nailed the combination of tenketsu on her body that would induce temporary paralysis, but not injure her body in any way and still enable her to speak.

Needless to say, Hiashi was damn well impressed. He was a bit concerned however, when his daughter started to hug the fetal positioned Naruto from behind.

"Snakes… everywhere." Naruto whispered in a traumatized voice.

"Shhhh. It's okay Naruto-kun. The snakes are gone now." Hinata whispered, rubbing his head like a pet.

"Kakashi…?" Hiashi asked a bit concerned.

"Hmm?" The cyclops looked up from his book as if nothing happened. "Oh that. Let's just say that we had to leave the two alone with Anko occasionally. The end result is pretty much what you see here: one gets nearly traumatized for life and the other steps in to bring them back to sanity. This occasionally happens when Ghost is teaching them as well, but not nearly as bad as with Anko. It's helped build the trust between them. They're actually a pretty good tag team when it comes to a fight."

"Hello?" Said snake woman shouted from the ground. "I'm having a little trouble moving here. Paralyzed body and all. Help?"

"That's all and well." Danzō growled, feeling a bit more comfortable with Ghost out of town for a set period of time. "But I am concerned about other… aspects of the boy…"

There were dark looks around the room as the Kyūbi was hinted at.

"Hinata, it would be best if you…" Hiashi started, not wanting to put his daughter in harm's way.

"I already know about the Kyūbi father." Hinata said coldly from behind Naruto, shocking everyone in the room who didn't already know she knew. "And personally, I am disappointed in how this council and the older villagers managed the situation. If one seals a kunai into a scroll, the scroll is still just a scroll, not a kunai. It may have a kunai sealed in it, but it is still JUST a scroll. Naruto-kun is no different. The Kyūbi's attack was indeed a great disaster, but it does not justify people making a person's life miserable just because he holds the cause."

"And how have we poorly managed the situation young Hyūga? In fact, how do you even know of the Kyūbi in the first place?" Asked a pompous member of the council. He probably thought that Ghost had told her, and that he could use it as an excuse to execute him.

Hinata stared at him with cold eyes that made the man shiver. Hiashi was starting to regret his past treatment of his daughter… if not for the obvious guilt, then for the extreme pain that she would be able to give him in the next few years. "Don't think I am as blind and as deaf as the other villagers. October 10th, Naruto's birthday, the constant beatings, the whispers of 'demon' and 'monster' behind his back, the seal on his stomach, his new look, the reason no one would tell me how the Fourth beat the Kyūbi. It was obvious that Naruto-kun was related to the Kyūbi in some way. Not everyone in this village is completely ignorant of what is happening around them. All it took was a little research to find out that it was impossible to outright kill a tailed beast in the first place, and that the Fourth was a seal master. All I had to do was look at a book about tailed beasts and the term Jinchūriki jumped out practically on the first page. Figuring out what had happened afterwards was simple. The only thing this does is give us another reason to make Naruto-kun would be an ally instead of enemy." Hinata could feel Naruto trembling in her arms… and she knew it wasn't snake induced this time.

"You actually trust that demon?" Spat out one annoying village elder.

Hinata sighed. She knew that she was running on pure leftover adrenalin from her fight with Hana, but she couldn't stop here.

God, she was going to be a nervous wreck after this.

"First off, if he actually was a demon, do you think it would be smart to antagonize him in the first place?" She asked, making a good portion of the civilian council look like gaping fish. "I didn't think so. And second, if you are wrong about him, which you are, then you have just spent the last twelve years torturing and harming an innocent boy who has done nothing wrong. I wonder what the other villages would say if they heard that Konoha endorses child beating." Hinata shot a quick glare at her father to send an additional message to him. Needless to say, he got it.

"It's just tricking you!" Shouted another not so bright councilor. "The demon is lying to all of you and biding its time until it kills us all- gack!" The man's rampage was silenced via a kunai in his throat, yet it was Hinata who again spoke in response.

"Excuse me?" She asked quietly as she activated her Byakugan. Kakashi raised an eyebrow in interest.

"Do you not remember who I am? Do you not know what my bloodline can do? Since my training with Ghost-sensei and everyone else had started, my skills have improved dramatically, and yet you assume that Naruto-kun here can lie to **me** of all people and not get caught?" She stared at the councilors with an icy cold stare with the veins bulging from the side of her eyes. "I am the Hyūga Heiress, and I can see everything as clear as day. The way you move shows me how you think; the way you act, the way you live. From what I've seen… I'd rather take my chances with the so called demon then any of you."

If Ghost was there, he would have ruined the moment by clapping his hands and loudly applauding such a brilliant performance.

"You little…!" Shouted one councilor before Hiashi stood up.

"Quiet." This got everyone's attention, as Hiashi almost never spoke up. He turned to his daughter sternly. "While we will speak of your less than admirable conduct later, I am curious… what have you seen, Hinata?"

Hinata smiled sweetly at her father before turning to the councilors. Everyone in the room was scared shitless of the girl now. She raised her arm and started pointing out several civilian councilors. "That one over there has touched himself… thoroughly at least five times since the meeting started, every time I might add was when he was looking at Kakashi-sensei and Naruto-kun." Naruto and Kakashi shivered and backed away from the man at this. The man himself was starting to sweat profusely. Hinata pointed to an elderly woman in the group, "That woman there has been constantly fondling a small vial and a kunai in her pocket ever since the meeting started. Her eyes have not gone off of Naruto-kun for more than three seconds. I assume that the vial contains poison, since it does not move like water." The woman growled as several other members of the council stared at her. Poison was strictly forbidden in the council chamber, and civilians were not allowed to bear weapons of any sort in public.

Hinata wasn't finished yet. "Also, I have noticed in addition to that peculiar man who was touching himself, there were at least seven council members who looked at me in particular in a lustful manner several times. I understand that Hana-san and Anko-san are both experienced Kunoichi and are used to and trained for such situations, however I am still an academy student, and am pretty sure that seduction missions are not given to anyone below the rank of chūnin…"

Many of the people in the room who weren't complete pricks glared and smirked at the guilty party. Hiashi and Tsume however were stuck between completely enraged and astounded at Hinata's performance and their fellow councilmen.

Naruto was just having a hard time dealing with the fact that he was stuck in a room with a bunch of perverts that not only hate him, but have horribly disturbing thoughts about him as well.

"…and then there are those two ANBU in the corner of the room that are constantly gripping their ninjatō and glaring at Naruto-kun…"

As soon as she said that, said ANBU made a beeline from their hiding spots straight for Naruto and each slashed him deeply across the chest seemingly before anyone had time to react. As Naruto went down, the others snapped into action. Kakashi managed to stab and incapacitate one assailant while Anko (still on the ground) somehow summoned a snake to pin down the other and distract him long enough for Hinata to land a few precise Jūken strikes in the chest. It was somewhat unnerving to the ninja part of the council that those who counterattacked did not seem to care that the blonde was brutally murdered in front of them.

"You have both disappointed me greatly. You will both be sent to Ibiki and Anko, as soon as she recovers, to undergo the highest level of torture we will allow before executing you." Sarutobi growled as he flared some of his killing intent.

The not bleeding ANBU chuckled. "It doesn't matter, we've rid the village of the demon and…"

"Really?" Asked a familiar hyperactive voice from the side of the room. "I never knew chairs could be demons. Huh. I guess anything is possible in the shinobi world…" Everyone turned their eyes to see Naruto leaning up against the wall, then turned their heads to see the diced up chair behind Hinata.

"What?" Stuttered the ANBU incredulously. "A replacement?! So fast for an academy student… I didn't even see it! How…"

 _'Impressive for a child.'_ Shikaku thought to himself.

 _'He timed it perfectly.'_ Shibi mused.

 _'I see that Hinata is not the only one who has improved from the training.'_ Hiashi pondered.

"I have a man who just this morning chased me across town for three freaking hours yelling about toothpaste and toasters and a psychotic woman-thing who enjoys cutting people and licking their blood for teachers." Naruto deadpanned as everyone else sweat dropped a little. "Do you honestly think that my paranoia and escaping abilities wouldn't have gotten to at least that level in three months? I have to pull off stuff like that every day if I want to get all my training done on time. Heck, I've gotten to the point where I can replace myself repeatedly within a second without breaking a sweat or even thinking about it. For crying out loud people, they charged me from the front! It was easy for me to get out of the way! Besides… I thought you knew that the seal wasn't fully set yet…" The entire room's idiot population paled dramatically.

"B-but, ANBU…" Stammered one council woman.

Anko chuckled from the floor. "You're wasting your time. Ghost already had the kid's nerves fully pulled and trained before I even got involved. Trust me, I've tried getting my hands on him using some of my stealth skills. Brat's harder to catch than Tora on catnip. He's naturally wound up tighter than most seasoned jōnin… although I don't think Ghost is the one we should thank for that…"

"Yeah…" Naruto chuckled. "Who knew running away from angry mobs, dodging the crap that the villagers throw at me on a daily basis, avoiding the alleyways with drunks and rapists, and avoiding the ANBU after every one of my pranks would come in handy?"

The reaction from his explanation was as expected. Silence, pity, shame, rage, and of course indifference. There were some interesting others though.

"Rapists?" Growled Hana.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto replied with a smile what was scaring the shit out of everyone in the room. He occasionally took some time to set his eyes on several of the civilian members and for added measure made them glow a little bit for an extra flare. "You would be surprised with what you would find if you lived on the streets for a couple of years. Don't worry, I didn't get caught by the rapists somehow. The drunks and the mobs… not so much, but I occasionally stumbled across some incidents in the back alleyways…"

"What…?" Kakashi asked in a shocked manner.

"Naruto was kicked out of the orphanage when he was seven years old and lived the next two years on the street, with no one looking after him." Sarutobi growled in shame. He was busy with the Uchiha massacre at the time and then dealing with its aftereffects, so he couldn't manage to find time to see Naruto. Compounding that was the fact that the boy was elusive enough to dodge ANBU, who he didn't trust for obvious reasons. Sarutobi saw neither hide nor hair of him until two years later, when he found Naruto sleeping under the roots of a large tree, thin and clearly starved.

"As depressing as this sounds." Growled Danzō. "We still have the issue of now three apparent traitors to deal with, as well as this new… program to decide on."

Sarutobi took a moment to stare at his old rival to see if there was some sort of hidden agenda on his mind.

"He is right." Sarutobi agreed after a few seconds. "We have become distracted by various matters this evening. Let us get Mizuki out of the way so we can discuss the things that matter."

"Right." Replied a slightly unnerved Inoichi as four more ANBU materialized and took away the two rogue ninja and the decaying body. "The report states that after Naruto here went back to the academy, Mizuki confronted him privately and told him that because of his missing three months combined with his poor grades, he would not be able to graduate the academy that year, regardless of how well he did for the rest of the term. Mizuki then told Naruto that he could gain extra credit by performing a 'secret mission' where he would sneak into the Hokage's personal archive and steal the Forbidden Scroll before meeting up with Mizuki at training ground 82 at 11:00 to pass the test. Naruto apparently knew that Mizuki was up to something and reported to both his minder, that being Kakashi, and Hokage-sama. There, you three came up with a plan to capture the traitor in the act as well as give both you and Hinata here some field experience and use the incident as proof that this program works. Am I correct so far?"

Everyone nodded in agreement. Hinata was hunched over Anko, busy reopening her tenketsu.

Inoichi continued. "The plan was to use Naruto and the scroll as bait to lure Mizuki out and provoke him into revealing his treachery. Kakashi and Hinata would be hiding nearby to confirm this. In the meantime, Hokage-sama would drive the village into a controlled frenzy so that things did not get out of hand and so Mizuki would not suspect anything."

"That is correct." Sarutobi confirmed. "I gave explicit orders that should they come across Naruto, they were to not use any excessive means while apprehending the boy, so long as he came peacefully. I also said that anyone who decided to overstep their position would have a date with Ibiki…"

Inoichi proceeded with his review. "What you DIDN'T expect was one Iruka Umino to find you shortly before Mizuki did. During which, Naruto pretended to play ignorant and act according to what Mizuki believed he would do if he did go with the original plan. At this point, Mizuki assaulted both Naruto and Iruka, in which Naruto managed to push Iruka out of the way and dodge the assault in time…"

"I love logs." Naruto sighed in bliss. "They're just… everywhere."

"Amen." Replied all the ninja in the room. It was something of a fact of life that all ninja of Konoha developed a sort of worship for logs by the time they reached chūnin.

"Bloody ninja and their bloody logs." Grumbled one of the civilians.

"You say something?" Growled Tsume.

"Moving on…" sweat dropped Inoichi, "Naruto then proceeded to distract Mizuki while Hinata and Kakashi secretly got into position to ambush him. During which, Mizuki broke the Third's law about the Kyūbi by telling Naruto in an attempt to distract him and most likely take advantage of his would-be distress. Luckily it backfired as Naruto had already knew about his tenant and reacted by laughing and telling Mizuki so, causing him to be caught off guard by Kakashi and Hinata. Kakashi knocked Mizuki out quickly and Hinata paralyzed him so that he would not be able to escape should he regain consciousness. You all then proceeded to bring the traitor back to the Hokage, where he is currently being interrogated by Ibiki, while informing Iruka of what was happening along the way."

"While this was occurring, kunoichi Anko Mitarashi, Hana Inuzuka, Yūgao Uzuki, and Kurenai Yūhi were busy under orders from Hokage-sama, distracting and guiding away angry mobs consisting of fellow ninja and villagers in order to provide the group safe passage through the village without incident."

"Those idiots were way too easy to trick." Anko chuckled as she got up, testing her body's functions.

"That is correct." Sarutobi confirmed, ignoring Anko's statement. "Word spread of Naruto's _thievery_ much faster than I anticipated and I was concerned that something may go amiss if the unknowing populace was left to their own devices. Fortunately for us, Anko and the others appeared before me soon after I started ordering people around, wondering what was going on and knowing that there was something else I wasn't telling. Anko and Hana had managed to convince Yūgao and Kurenai that something else was happening and gained their assistance in rerouting the villagers without much issue."

Inoichi nodded, understanding what the Hokage was saying as he continued. "You mentioned in the reports that you allowed Naruto and Hinata to learn a technique from the scroll. Do you think that is safe? What technique was it?"

Kakashi eye smiled. "Considering the drastic increase in both of their chakra reserves, Naruto's lack of control, and the Hyūga clan's limitation's on jutsu usage, I only thought it would be appropriate to teach them the Shadow Clone technique…"

"Shadow clones?" Hiashi gaped. Such a technique required a fairly large amount of chakra to perform. He knew that Hinata was more powerful yes, but to this extent?

"How many clones can they make, Kakashi?" Asked Chōza, curious about the two's skills now.

Kakashi chuckled as he turned a page of his book. "From what I have seen, Hinata can make roughly eight clones before she starts to feel the strain of the technique." Everyone stared at the blushing girl, impressed that she could make so many already.

"Eight clones…" Hiashi murmured as he activated his bloodline to look at his daughter's chakra coils in detail. He nearly gaped when he saw how developed they were. "She has more chakra than the average chūnin…" he whispered in shock.

"Oh yeah!" Naruto said as if he just remembered something. "What did that chakra sensor thing say was your chakra level Hinata? The bastard took me out of the classroom before I could see your turn."

Hinata tried to shrink into her coat as she unintentionally started pressing her fingers together. "782". She mumbled. Needless to say this sparked much conversation in the room.

"Heh." chuckled Shikaku. "I guess my son should have taken up Ghost on his offer. At least he'll get some decent training done if he becomes a genin…"

"We haven't decided whether or not to approve of this special program in the first place Shikaku-san." Growled the Haruno representative.

"And why, dare I ask, wouldn't you?" The lazy man countered in a tired tone. "We have the results right in front of us. Two children who haven't even graduated from the academy have helped us take down a traitor. Both have shown us skills and talent that would suggest that they would already be ready for the Chūnin Exams if they were allowed to take them. Aside from a little trauma that comes from hanging around Anko too long, they are perfectly fine, if not better. Not only that, but they are learning from several teachers specialized in more than half of the fields that they could potentially go in. I don't know about you, but I personally want my kid to live long enough to give me grandkids."

o. o. o.

Shikamaru stared up to the sky from his bedroom window. "I feel a disturbance. As if a thousand lazy single men were screaming at me in warning, and then silence. Troublesome." And then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

o. o. o.

The room was full of arguments from some of the louder council members as the silent ones were talking with subtle shifting of the eyes and nudges of the head. As much as Danzo loathed Ghost, this new program he had created was rather impressive and efficient even if the subjects taking it still had their emotions running wild. He started to send his silent messages to his supporters in the council to approve of the plan.

"What does the plan entail?" Shibi asked, getting everyone's attention. "What sort of training does the final product produce?"

Sarutobi sighed. "Well, I was hoping to release this information later, but it seems that I don't have that luxury now."

"The plan itself is fairly straight forward. After the teams are formed, the active groups will follow a weekly schedule. Three days of the week will be the same as before, spending time focusing on doing missions and building trust with teamwork exercises. It is the other four days that will stray from the path."

He looked around to make sure he had everyone's attention. "These four days will consist of all the groups, their teachers, and several recommended ninja gathering together and providing a balanced education to the new batch of genin. Each teacher will cover the other's shortcomings to provide a more evenly spread out training regimen. I have seen a pattern where teachers who specialize in genjutsu fail to properly educate students who are more suited for taijutsu and other similar cases. This plan aims to correct that."

"During these days, after their required training in all the mandatory fields is done, the students will split up and go to teachers that can better accommodate their own personal skills. The girls will most likely go to the genjutsu, medical, poisons and stealth teachers most frequently, while the boys to the taijutsu and ninjutsu teachers. The benefit of this program is that the students pick the teachers for their additional lessons, allowing them to be more comfortable and progress farther in their training."

Several grumbles of agreement sounded off in the room. Tsume was still skeptical. "If that is true, then what are Hana and Anko supposed to teach?"

Sarutobi sighed. "Hana and Anko were apparently handpicked, much like Naruto and Hinata, by Ghost as teachers, albeit they were thrown in a bit earlier than anyone had planned. Anko with her stealth, assassination, interrogation, poison, and yes, seduction skills, and Hana for her medic skills. According to Ghost, they have done almost as good as a job teaching as these two have been learning. It was also an experience for them to learn off of each other as well. I have noticed Anko occasionally reading some medical books, and Hana's stealth abilities have improved greatly."

"Damn straight." Anko laughed. "I needed a refresher course in biology anyway. My poisons have been losing their potency recently, and what better way to make them better than to brush up on my medic skills? Now I can torture my prey nearly three times as long as I used to before they get close to dying! Yay!"

"Hana Inuzuka… isn't she the village's vet?" Asked Chōza, desperately trying to ignore Anko's recent statement, staring at the unnerved teen.

"It is precisely for that reason why he chose her in the first place." Sarutobi said before Hana could embarrass herself in front of the council again. "Ghost's logic was fairly simple. Because Hana deals with treating several different types of bodies on a daily basis, as well as originally learning about the human body, her knowledge of a fair amount of healing techniques, and the fact that her brother is in the next group of future potential genin, it inadvertently made her the best choice for the job. Because we are ninja, we will eventually have to deal with situations where the bodies of our opponents will be … non-standard, perhaps even not entirely human. Hana's experience with various animal body types enable her to have a better understanding of what the various differences in organs and body structures will do and how they will perform in different configurations. While she may not have the most experience out of all the medic-nin in the village, she is the one with the best chance of getting the children to learn what they need to."

"It's true." Naruto added in. "Hana-sensei is a lot better than most of the teachers in the academy. It's easier to understand her and she has no problem dumbing it down for someone like me, probably because Kiba is almost as dumb as I am. Heheheh. I'll never be good at medic stuff, but I at least want to know enough to have a decent impact on whether someone I care about lives or dies."

Hinata decided to add her own two cents into the mix. "I'm also learning a lot from Hana-sensei. I am already able to use the Mystic Palm technique to an adequate level and we both can do diagnostic jutsu with little trouble. We're already going over poisons and antidotes. Sensei is really impressed with my medicinal plant and herb knowledge."

One councilor chuckled. "It seems like Ms. Hyūga here got the better end of the deal. The blonde brat hasn't seemed to have improved that much aside from being able to dodge better."

Naruto pouted. "Hmph. You're just saying that 'cause you don't know how much chakra I have." THIS had everyone's attention, as they had completely forgotten why Naruto was gone from school for three months in the first place.

"Er… how much **do** you have?" Asked Sakura's mom, a bit scared to find out.

Kakashi chuckled. "Naruto here has close to 9000 units of chakra, which puts his reserves… oh, around Hokage-sama's during his prime, maybe a little less." He almost burst out laughing when he saw how many people were gaping. He also noticed Hiashi hurriedly turning on his bloodline to get a better look at Naruto's chakra coils. "To be honest, right before Iruka came, Naruto managed to test out the Shadow Clone technique at full blast. He made a little over a thousand clones. The kid is a pretty quick learner when someone is actually there to teach him and show him the way."

"I'm planning to use this new addition to his arsenal to our advantage during his training. By the time he graduates, I am assuming that his control should be at least low to mid chūnin, hopefully. I'm also thinking of starting him on elemental composition pretty soon as well. I checked his element a while ago and interestingly enough found that he's a wind type."

Naruto was looking more and more like a hidden blessing to a good portion of the council by the second.

"So much chakra…" Whispered a dazed Inoichi. "With those reserves… and the clones… and a wind affinity to boot…"

"What's so important about a wind affinity?" Growled one oblivious councilor.

"Idiot." Sighed Shikaku. "Wind elements are the rarest of the five affinities a ninja can have. It enables the user to become extremely dangerous in close to mid-range combat, which is pretty much where 80% of all fights take place. Even Suna has trouble producing a decent number of them, and they are known across the elemental nations for their wind techniques. To my knowledge, there is only one decent wind aligned shinobi in Konoha: Asuma Sarutobi, Hokage-sama's son. But more importantly, combining that level of chakra with a wind element… I don't want to even think about going against this kid when he finally gets some decent jutsu under his belt…" The entire room turned its entire attention to Naruto at this point.

Naruto - and pretty much everyone else who knew about Rasenshuriken - were having a hard time keeping grins from appearing. He had practiced enough with Hinata and Ghost in keeping his emotions in check that only a true professional could tell what he was thinking by looking at him now.

Hiashi, Inoichi, and Shikaku on the other hand WERE true professionals, and saw this with their keen observational skills. They were also NOT complete idiots, and knew that if they said anything about Naruto's behavior, then there would be an unequivocal shit-fest that they would have to deal with on top of all the crap they had to deal with now. A quick glance at each other was all they needed to send the message to keep this quiet until later.

"Sigh. I don't think we are going home any time soon if we keep on gawking at these children." Sarutobi groaned while rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I say we should just vote on it now and get it over with. All in favor?"

Almost all the hands in the room rose, including a good portion of the civilian council's hands. Tsume's hand reluctantly went up with them.

"And with that, the new training program has been approved. For now, Naruto, Hinata, Kakashi, Anko and Hana will continue their modified training schedules after the academy ends. However, now that it is known that Hinata is involved and has no more need to hide this, she may go to training as often as she wishes."

Sarutobi turned to Hiashi. "And just for future reference, Hinata is not under any obligation to tell you how she came up with her own techniques. Another part of this program was to motivate the students to attempt to create their own techniques and/or styles. These personal attacks are deemed to be private jutsu, and will only to be taught at the creator's behest. This is also done so that these new techniques can be used on the battlefield without getting recognized. Though clan techniques are indeed powerful, they are also well known, and thus so are their weaknesses and flaws."

"I can tell you right now Hiashi that according to Ghost, Hinata here has created several new Jūken techniques thanks to the training and support she has received these past few months. He has also told me to tell you that Hinata is not allowed teach anyone, especially your clan these techniques or anything else she has learned via this training until, and I quote: the letter is read and both sets join together. He said that you would understand what that meant, because I sure as hell don't."

Hiashi's face remained stoic as he translated the message and nodded. "None the less, I expect you and your clan to follow suit. The new program until it is put into motion, future personal jutsu, and everything else that occurred during this meeting…" Sarutobi quickly made a signal to two ANBU, who appeared behind the councilwoman that Hinata claimed had a kunai and poison on her person, knocked her out, and just as quickly disappeared, "…are now considered an A-class secret, punishable by interrogation, demotion, and a year's worth of D-rank missions. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama." Chanted the majority of the people in the room.

"And with that I close this long and tiresome meeting. (A/N: (slams head into desk) SOB. THANK YOU LORD!) It is late, and I for one want to get some sleep. I have already sent out my ANBU to spread word of Mizuki's betrayal and Naruto's participation, so there should be no issues going back home. That being said, Kakashi. Anko. You two are to guard Naruto tonight to make sure that nothing happens."

"Fine…" Kakashi sighed.

"Sure, it's not like I have anything better to do…" Anko grinned.

"And no forcing Naruto to give you any massages." Sarutobi added in.

"… fuck." The snake mistress swore.

With that, the council quickly disassembled with much grumbling. Hana was dragged back home by an aggravated Tsume almost immediately, same with Hinata via Hiashi.

As Naruto left with Anko and Kakashi, he noticed that a lot of the looks he was getting from the council were now not of fear and rage, but out of sheer curiosity. He realized that he had piqued their interest, and it wouldn't take long for them to start truly looking at him and not the fox.

Things were looking up.

o. o. o.

"You have improved." Hiashi said to Hinata as they walked back to the compound.

"Yes, father." Hinata replied in a rather cold tone that did not escape Hiashi's notice.

"Sigh. You do realize that our night is only half over, correct?"

"I am not worried father. Hokage-sama gave us explicit orders, and not even the family council can override them."

"That's not going to stop them from trying to get you to slip up." The man stated with a hint of remorse.

"Why, father, it almost sounded like you cared about me for a moment." Hinata spat out venomously.

Hiashi was getting nervous. "What has gotten into you Hinata? Three months should not have changed you this much."

"No, father. In reality, I have not changed much. However, I only learned about the Kyūbi yesterday, and thus the reason why Naruto-kun suffers so much. This resulted in me losing a more than desirable amount of sleep last night. The special training that I have received these past few months has made my time at the academy nearly useless, thus making my time there a form of unintended torture. Then, there is my continually abysmal treatment at my so-called HOME, the only goal of which seems to be to crush my spirit in any way possible. Add all this to the fact that it is past two o'clock in the morning and you might be able to see why I am so irritable at the moment. That being the case, can you really blame me for wanting Naruto-kun to give me a good back massage?" Hinata calmly ranted.

Hiashi made a mental note to never wake up Hinata early in the morning or try to sleep deprive her EVER. "Point taken."

Several moments of silence…

"So…" Hiashi started, trying to make an effort to connect with his daughter again. "… you have made some new Jūken techniques?"

Hinata smirked. "Yes I have, father. I have made approximately five new ways to manipulate my chakra to deal various types of damage, including three ninjutsu, and have made some alterations to my stances and kata in order to make my Jūken more natural for my body type. I have not fully mastered them all yet, but it is simply a matter of time before I do."

Hiashi stared at his daughter in awe. Ghost had occasionally visited him and had ranted about her progress and her apparent skills, but he had thought that he was merely stretching the truth. He truly had made a mistake when it came to Hinata after her mother died.

"And that does not include the standard Jūken techniques I have mastered." Hinata grinned, causing her father to pale even more. "As you saw during the meeting, I have also recently mastered Eight Trigrams: Thirty Two Palms, the Shadow Clone technique, and am currently working on the Sixty Four Palm variant. I also have quite easily mastered Kaiten as well."

Hiashi had trouble breathing. "Kaiten? You know how to do Kaiten? I only gave you the Thirty Two Palms scroll as something for you to work on in your spare time. Did you…? Did Ghost…?"

Hinata laughed. "Father, you put too much pride in our clans 'secrets'. Ghost-sensei already heard of and understood the fundamentals of Kaiten before even coming into town. All anyone has to do in order to perform it is learn how to spin very fast and learn how to expel chakra through all your tenketsu quickly. The first was easily done by practicing how to dance, and the second was just as simple. All I needed to do was practice the leaf balancing technique on all my tenketsu at once and get decent at it. The only real reason why the Hyūga clan employs this technique while others don't is because we can determine the best time to use it thanks to our eyes. To be perfectly honest, I'm surprised no one else has managed to recreate the technique yet. It's not exactly that difficult…"

Hiashi mentally groaned. His daughter who everyone assumed was weak and pathetic was constantly reaming his clan a new one and picking out major flaws in the family's taijutsu. This would not go well with the elders.

Hinata smiled. "Don't worry father, I assure you that I will be less… abrupt when we deal with the clan council."

Hiashi almost tripped. "What? How did…"

"The Hyūga clan are not the only ones who can tell what a person is thinking by reading body movement, father. Ghost-sensei had Naruto and I practice this fairly frequently during our training and often gave us tips on what to look for. He said he was disappointed that the clan has not developed this skill further. My announcement that my skills have developed was not a bluff, and to be perfectly honest, you are pretty much an open book compared to Sensei."

Hiashi chuckled. "Hinata, a dead man is an open book compared to Ghost if he wanted to keep something quiet. It is not fair to compare me to him."

Hinata stopped suddenly and stared at her father as if he was a stranger. "Who are you and what have you done with my father?" She asked coldly.

Hiashi took a surprised step back. "What?"

She continued her stare. "My father never tells jokes."

Hiashi needed several seconds to process what his daughter just said. He then rubbed his forehead as he remembered something that someone had told him in the past. "Damn it Minato…" Hiashi sighed. "Why did you have to be right?"

"Excuse me?" Hinata asked.

"Just remembering someone warning me a long time ago that my attitude on life and my clan would result in me being a poor father… and a dull man." Hiashi admitted, growling the last part out to himself.

Hinata giggled, which brightened up the mood considerably. "You should listen to that man's advice more often then, father."

Hiashi returned the smile. "I'll keep that in mind." Then he went stoic again as the clan compound came into view. "I will try to make this a quick as possible. Try to keep your temper in check for a little while longer and don't say anything superfluous and we **should** be able to go to sleep relatively soon."

Hinata took a deep breath to calm her nerves as they walked into the compound. "Thank you daddy."

"…One last question."

"Yes father?"

"How strong are those two in particular?"

Hinata smiled. "From what I have seen father… Naruto-kun is almost as strong as Hokage-sama… when he is at his strongest…"

"… I… see… And the other?" Hiashi gulped. He had his guesses, but to be as powerful as the Hokage? The power of the Kyūbi must be truly potent…

Hinata looked up to her father square in the face. "I don't know exactly how strong he is… but when Hokage-sama talks to him… I can see fear and uncertainty in his eyes. They trust each other to some degree, but it is still there. It makes you think, doesn't it?" She said quietly. "What kind of man does it take to make the God of Shinobi himself display such levels of insecurity…?"

This prompted Hiashi to once again wonder about his past actions regarding Ghost… and whether it was a smart idea or not to deal with him in the first place.

He could have sworn the asshole was laughing at him somewhere nearby.

o. o. o.

"I don't like this…" Growled Tsume as she dragged Hana back to the clan compound, their ninja hounds following them in fear of the clan leader's wrath. "That man walks in here and starts changing things left and right without anyone knowing and then somehow manages to get everyone backing him up. AND YOU!" She turns her attention to her unnerved daughter, who flinched from her mother's wrath. "You have been a part of this and you didn't tell me! Didn't I tell you to be careful of that man? Intentions aside, we don't know anything about him! He…"

"Saved my life…" Growled Hana, interrupting her mother's tirade.

"What?" Asked a shocked Tsume. She turned to her daughter's ninja hounds. "Is this true?"

Said triplets looked at each other briefly before slowly nodding.

Hana paused a moment, getting an idea. A very risky and at any other time very stupid idea, but one that would hopefully some positive results later on. She looked around carefully to make sure no one was listening as walked up to one of her dogs and whispered something into its ear. The dog looked at Hana skeptically for a few seconds then nodded before letting loose a series of growls and grunts. Tsume's eyes gradually widened as the coded story progressed. Every now and then the dog would look at Hana for permission to talk about something important, which was responded to by a simple nod or shake of her head. At one point, the dog was unconsciously shivering violently. By the time the dog stopped growling, Tsume was leaning against a nearby wall, trying to get her thoughts together. Kuromaru on the other hand was very tense and his fur was standing on end.

"I like not the smell of this." He growled.

"So… that time… it was him? You were there? He's actually…" Tsume whispered, not trusting her voice much at the moment.

"Yes, I was." Hana said in a slightly more stern tone to her mother. "It's something he doesn't talk about much, and it doesn't take a Hyūga to tell that it hurts him a lot to just think about it."

"Did he tell you how often…?"

"He told me that it is something his entire family goes through once a year… with him being an exception. He has to go through it twice a year… and apparently his is the worst case out of all of them. Personally, I don't see how there could be anything worse than what I saw. Regardless, he doesn't use it as any sort leverage on Anko and I, and prefers to go through life as if it never happens."

"… A true alpha indeed." Growled Kuromaru. The grey triplets on the other hand were arguing of all the times they had to maul Ghost to stop him from doing something silly/ perverted to Hana, which resulted with a tick mark on Tsume's head. Kuromaru laughed dryly. "Like I said… a true alpha indeed."

"Potential sexual assault aside…" Tsume growled as she leaned in close, "When is… it supposed to happen?" The leading triplet growled in response, getting a decent response from the clan leader. "Of course… the timing would be perfect." She muttered to herself.

"I think this would be an appropriate time to let you know that it was several other members of my group that had been making all those pranks on the clan compounds recently…" Hana added in quickly. "They said it would be a good way to increase the training of the elites of the village without raising any suspicion…"

Tsume was gaping at her daughter. "…You mean they were the ones who…"

"The catnip, the squirrels, the deer, the glasses and walking sticks, the squirrels, the stink bombs…" She was interrupted as her mother clasped both her shoulders.

Tsume looked at her daughter square in the eyes. "I don't know whether to thank you or maul you. Those were some of the best pranks I have ever been witness too, but the catnip one was one of the worst experiences of my life…"

Hana sweat dropped. "In our defense, we didn't know that there were so many cats in the village."

Tsume sighed in defeat as she turned to the Inuzuka clan compound.

"I can assume that you are preparing as well given what Hokage-sama told us in the meeting?"

Hana nodded. "The triplets and I have improved greatly. Our Gatsūga are stronger than ever and we have been testing out new formations. In addition to that, we have been doing extensive work on our chakra control and reserves. Our stealth is miles ahead of where it used to be, plus all four of us have started on elemental manipulation and composition."

Tsume's eyes widened as she looked at her daughter and her partners. "All four of you?"

Hana smirked. "Yeah. Despite these three being triplets, two of them are fire elementals while the other is a lightning elemental. I surprisingly enough have a wind affinity, so we are working on how to combine our techniques and our elements together. For now though, we are simply trying to manage our elements."

Tsume gawked at her daughter in awe. If she kept this up, she might just become the head of the Inuzuka clan years ahead of schedule. Despite what her initial impressions of Ghost were, she was backed into a corner and had to admit that so far he was doing nothing but helping Konoha. She was going to have to talk to him when he got back.

"Just two more questions…"

"Yes, mother?" Hana asked a bit scared.

"… how strong is he?"

Hana paused. "I don't really know mom. From what Anko has told me… his stealth and assassination skills are at least elite jōnin level, possibly even kage-level. He has said himself that his physical strength is only borderline jōnin at best, and from what I've seen he's not lying. His speed, agility, and skill are to put it lightly insane. There have been fights where I have gone all out against him and haven't got close to even scratching him, and he barely breaks a sweat. He also has enough stamina and chakra to produce a couple hundred shadow clones before feeling any strain." Tsume's eyebrow raised at this comment. "But as far as powers go, he has made all of us swear to keep quiet until he tells us otherwise… I can only tell you that when I asked him about his, incident… he hinted that it was what he had to pay for in exchange for them in the first place…"

She looked at her mother in the eyes. "Just to let you know, this is S-class information mother. I'm already risking a lot by telling you. Don't tell anyone anything. Too much is at stake…"

Tsume was silent for a period of time before she spoke again. "I see…"

Hana sighed, releasing some of the tension that was stuck in her body. "Um… mom? What was your other question?"

Tsume snapped out of her pondering before she looked at her daughter again. Hana didn't like that grin on her face.

"How good **are** his massages?"

Hana gulped. "Please don't scare him away like you did with dad…"

o. o. o.

Danzō was in his office thinking. Ever since his painful experience at the hands of Ghost, the war hawk had been lying low, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. One would think that Ghost's departure from the village would provide him an opportunity to do something radical, but he knew that it was futile at this point. Ghost knew too many of the cards in his hand, and he knew barely any in his. No. He would wait, watch and learn. See what makes him tick. Find any weaknesses. Ghost's lecture still ringing in his head, a painful lesson he would not soon forget.

" _You don't know who I am. You don't know what I do. You don't know what I can do. You don't know what I want. You don't know my family, and you don't know me. In short, you have nothing on me. You can't hold anything over my head, you can't provide me with anything I don't already have, and you are far too WEAK to even try to force me to do anything."_

"Arrogant brat." Cursed the old man as his temper rose. "I'll play your game for now… but you better be prepared for this to bite you in the ass one day…"

o. o. o.

Ghost sneezed.

"Huh. Someone who I am vastly superior to must be vowing to kill me, again. Meh."

o. o. o.

If a person were to ask anyone in the group that day how they slept… it would most likely be the last thing they would ever say.

Naruto, Kakashi, and Anko were busy keeping vandals, villagers, and mentally impaired ninja away from Naruto's apartment that night. Apparently the Hokage's word, proof from the traitor's mouth, and being protected in person by the Copy Nin and the Snake Mistress themselves were not enough to convince them that Naruto had actually done the village a favor, and thus the three spent the night knocking out villagers, flaring killing intent, and playing hot potato with several molotov cocktails.

Hinata did not fare much better. Despite her father's promise, the elder council was adamant on getting Hinata to spill what she had learned after she gave them a vague list of her skills, even going so far as to suggest putting the Caged Bird Seal on her. The response to that was Hiashi activating his Byakugan and verbally reaming them a new one while stating for the final time that she was under protection from the Hokage and that any attempt to force information out of her would harm the clan's image and honor greatly. The Hokage was not allowed to interfere with clan politics, true, but the same could be said for the reverse logic. Even if the shinobi were part of a clan, the family's politics could not touch anything that the Hokage had deemed off limits. When boiled down to its basest elements, it really just ended up as a race to see who got to who first. And people said that politics had to be complicated…

Then when the matter of Naruto came up, the chaos started all over again. Hinata knew that she could not out loud speak of the Kyūbi, so she merely stated to their faces that she knew what they were talking about when they said that he was dangerous. She then gave them the 'kunai and the scroll' lecture and then informed them that they should at least attempt to know someone before coming to any conclusion. She was so tired and pissed at this point that when she got into the unofficial Hyūga stare off with the elders, which was pretty much like any other animalistic practice for assuming the dominant position. Surprisingly enough, many of the elders were the ones who showed weakness first. The rest she simply stalemated with.

After she had started to creep out about half the council, Hinata simply smiled sweetly, scaring the shit out of the rest of them. Hiashi finally stepped in (to Hinata's relief) and concluded the meeting, stating that due to the circumstances and the proof that Hinata was becoming far more competent than expected, they would allow her to continue to practice with Naruto Uzumaki until either she graduates with her genin team, or evidence showed that it would be unwise for her to do so.

Shikamaru woke up that night to his mother's screaming… again. This time she was ranting that his father had told her that he had turned down special training that would have made him far more competent just because he said that he would make it look bad.

Needless to say, Shikamaru was cursing a fair amount that night.

Hana had gotten off easy. After she had explained as much as she could to her mother, they spent several hours debating about what they should do next, finally settling on Hana's 'wait and see what Ghost's plans are for god's sake' idea, supported by the fact that everyone that matters is already following it.

Sarutobi had probably the worst out of all of them, as he spent the rest of the night and a good part of the morning going over the paperwork with Homura and Koharu. The Hokage was starting to think that his old team mates were vampires from their apparent ability to work without sleep… so much so that near the end of the workload he was occasionally trying to flick bits of garlic into their mouths whenever they talked. Needless to say, they got the hint that he wanted some sleep and resigned to his wishes.

All of them were glad that horrendously long day was over.

o. o. o.

Scabbard was resting near a river, plotting his next few hundred moves.

Though he did get an impressive amount of information from Orochimaru's computer database, he had not yet been able to go in depth until just a few moments prior, and what he found was very interesting…

o. o. o.

THE NEXT DAAAAYYYYY!

Is in the next chapter. HAAAA!

o. o. o.

A/N:

SO:

18 reviews for chapter 14.

… Did I stumble across some kind of secret for getting more reviews or something? That's over twice what I normally get per chapter. Anyways. 7 more reviews until I hit triple digits. Keep on reviewing people! And if you see that it's already popped the proverbial 100 cherry, REVIEW ANYWAY! WOOOO!

I'm still looking for a better title for this story. If possible, I would like it to be a combination of comical and badass at the same time… like that will ever happen. I am also accepting suggestions for a SUMMARY for this. I have gotten some decent suggestions for titles… ones that I don't think make the cut but still decent ones, but no summaries yet.

Once again, decent suggestions are greatly appreciated.

College is killing me already! YAY.

Watch out for flying fish-bricks.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 16

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

Over 120 votes… sweet. Thank you everyone who reviewed and put in their two cents on the story. Keep on reading and reviewing!

Responses:

To:

Hektols… yes THAT Hektols,

I was on the fence on how bad I wanted to make the village's treatment to Naruto. I decided to go for the "slightly more abused than should be but still nowhere near what some of the other stories do" route. I did so because in my opinion, even though it is a bit cruel and mean, it's also somewhat the most logical result of what would have happened in real life. I'm not making the ENTIRE village out for his blood, but a village is comprised of several hundreds of thousands of individuals… and people unfortunately tend to be idiots a good portion of the time. Cough Bush Cough.

As for the council… just wait and see. There's a reason why I let them off so easily so far. Heheheheheheheheheh.

Oh yeah.

Mystic4Gohan:

The closest thing to a harem in this story is what Ghost has with Hana and Anko, and that was to be perfectly honest a complete accident. Naruto is still a one girl guy… though that doesn't mean that other women won't try to get to him later on… but seriously, I am not a harem writer. If I did, then I would be obligated to write lemons at some point… and my little sister knows I post stuff on this site so that's a no go. Sorry fellow perverts, the crazy and kinky shit in this head is staying in this head… and like hell I'm going to be leaving any form of evidence that they ever took place.

Psycoticat:

… why didn't I think of that? The DCD (Demon Chicken of Doom™) was going to make someone suffer later on for an extended period of time… but falling in love with Sasuke's hair? … That's… freaking…brilliant. I might just do that a couple of times just as a running gag. Keep it up.

Everyone, give Psychotic at a round of applause. She (I'm taking an educated guess here) deserves it completely.

Fat-Man-Pirates:

Awwww, sorry dude, you were number 98.

For anyone who has forgotten, I update, or should update **every Friday Night** due to the fact that it's when most people go on this site on average… and I like going out on Saturday nights. On Mondays, I occasionally upgrade my chapters to make the story run smoother. I'm still looking for a beta, so if you think you're up for the job, let me know.

Enough with the talking! Let's get on with the plot-like thingies!

o. o. o.

Despite the fact that Mizuki was taken off to prison, the academy resumed the next day as if nothing had ever happened. Parents took their children to the building without missing a beat, pretending that the mold of normalcy was not temporarily shattered the previous night, and the blissfully unaware children were sitting next to and chatting with their friends.

That is until Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru entered the classroom looking like zombies. Shikamaru and Naruto barely managed to sit in their respective chairs before falling asleep on their desks. Hinata in particular looked bad as she was frequently twitching and looking around the room as if she was about to be assaulted by a family of Kyūbi. How they managed to look presentable in public was beyond their observers.

While Shikamaru was known for falling asleep in class, the rest of the children were more focused on Naruto and Hinata. Naruto was practically famous for being an unstoppable ball of rabid energy no matter what time it was, and Hinata was supposed to be almost invisible most of the time instead of a child on the brink of snapping someone's neck. Yet as they contemplated this, said blonde was out clearly out cold on his desk, his face already half immersed in a puddle of drool, mumbling something about ramen, while Hinata was constantly moving in a violent and irregular manner every time a small sound went off. That was hard to simply ignore.

"Hey Hinata?" Ino asked, somewhat eager to be the first one to know what was wrong with the Hyūga Heiress. What she didn't expect was for Hinata to literally jump back a few meters from her chair in response. Needless to say, more eyes were on the poor girl, and her instability grew further.

"O-Oh Ino-san." Hinata managed to breathe out in relief.

"You okay?" Ino asked, knowing that she obviously wasn't.

"Y-yeah." Hinata chuckled nervously. "W-why wouldn't I be?"

Ino deadpanned. "Well for one thing, you're acting more nervous than usual. I haven't seen anyone this freaked out since Chōji's dad banned him from snacks for a week." The two looked at said overweight boy as he checked if Shikamaru had a pulse.

"I-It's nothing r-really." Hinata stammered, not really faking it at the moment due to her shot nerves doing the work for her. "I-I just haven't h-had much sleep r-recently and it's s-starting to get to me."

"Oh…" Ino replied disappointedly. "Okay then. I hope you get some soon though. You look like a wreck."

"Thanks I-Ino-san." Hinata replied a bit distracted as she turned her head to look at Naruto sleeping next to her. (A/N: For all intents and purposes, the seating in the room was changed while Naruto was away so that Naruto is now sitting next to Hinata.)

This had Ino's interest… not that Hinata had a crush on Naruto - that was _old_ news - , but that Naruto was out cold. Though she hadn't noticed before, she remembered that Naruto was almost NEVER tired unless he was bored out of his mind, and that was before his change, which she had to admit was an improvement. Now if only he would wear something other than that horrible orange jumpsuit… regardless, the fact that he was completely out of it was something that the female blonde decided to invest her time in investigating.

"Hey." Ino whispered, getting another flinch out of Hinata. "What do you think his problem is? Naruto's never that tired. Not even after that extreme all day training exercise that Iruka-sensei made us do at the beginning of the year."

Hinata mentally scoffed. That 'extreme' all day training session was nothing compared to what she did everyday… although she doubted that most people had trained with Ghost and Anko as teachers.

"I-I don't know." Hinata half lied. She was a bit confused as to why Naruto was so out of it herself. There must have been more trouble with the villager's that night then she thought. "M-Maybe A-Anko-san got to Naruto-kun again l-last night."

Ino paled. "That… would do it." She replied before giving her fellow blonde a look of pity before walking back to her seat to talk to Sakura. Despite their rivalry, when things were calm the two were almost friendly with each other.

"Nice save." Whispered Naruto from his sleeping position, making Hinata almost jump a meter out of her chair.

"You were awake?" She asked quietly.

Naruto chuckled. "Ero-nii's taught me this trick to hover between sleeping and awake. You manage to get some rest, yet you are still aware of most of the things around you… activate your Byakugan for a sec, I wanna show you this other trick that he taught me..."

Hinata hesitated for a moment before turning on her eyes and quieting a gasp. Luckily, no one heard her. The air in the classroom was laced with Naruto's chakra… almost exactly like how Ghost conditioned the air around him all the time. "You… how?"

Naruto smiled. "I slowly push my chakra out of my entire body and use my sage training and wind element training in conjunction to extend my 'presence', as Ero-nii calls it, into the surrounding air. It took me a while to get used to it, and I still have trouble managing to process the new information sometimes, but it's almost like I can see all around me as if I had the Byakugan. I could tell that Ino was walking towards you even though I was almost asleep. Apparently this trick acts like a seventh sense, so most genjutsu are useless against it because they weren't designed to trick it. Ero-nii told me that there are a lot of other things that it can do, but I have to find most of them out by myself before he'll teach me some of the good stuff. Also, even with my large reserves I can't do it all the time. The longest I can go without wiping myself out is about 5 hours in a place that I haven't done this trick before. 18 if I have. Still, it's a pretty awesome trick…"

Hinata gaped at Naruto in awe. Not only did he now have an absurd number of powerful jutsu under his belt in addition to his mind blowing stamina and chakra reserves, as well as a fighting style that was difficult to predict let alone defend against, but now he had an ability that rivaled her family's dōjutsu when it came to sensing the surrounding area… Combine that with the fact that he treats women with respect, is secretly the son of the Fourth (something that she still doesn't know yet), and happens to have a… well, she has used her Byakugan a lot when spying on him for more than one reason…

Did she know how to pick them or what?

"Hey…" Naruto asked, snapping Hinata out of her stupor, "Why **are** you so out of it…? That meeting with the elders shouldn't have gone that long…"

Hinata took a deep breath before smiling sweetly at Naruto. "Naruto-kun, two days ago, I found out about… your secret, about the Akatsuki, about Orochimaru, and about what I was about to go up against. I obviously didn't get much sleep that night. What you may have forgotten was that I still had to go to the academy while you trained, which I might add has become quite… frustrating and dull compared to what I do with you and the others. Then we had last night, in which after I stood up in front of the entire village council, I went back home to deal with the Hyūga family council. I did not get to bed until five this morning… and have only just recently realized the severity of my actions…" The girl was now leaking out enough killing intent to be detected by most of the class. Luckily, no one (aside from Shikamaru) was good enough to tell it was coming from her.

Naruto was starting to sweat profusely as the very intimidating shadow behind his secret girlfriend grew larger and scarier by the second.

"Naruto-kun," Hinata smiled sweetly to him… not fooling anyone. "I think the first thing we will be practicing after class is your interrogation tactics. Is there a problem with that?"

"N-No ma'am." Naruto whimpered, coming to an epiphany as to why Ghost, Jiraiya and Sasuke were all scared shitless of women above all else.

"Speaking of tired." Hinata continued, inner rage temporarily forgotten, "Why are **you** tired? What happened after the meeting?"

Naruto grunted in irritation. "The idiot villagers and some demented chūnin who apparently didn't bother to hear what really happened last night. Anko, Kakashi-sensei and I spent the entire night defending my apartment complex from getting torn down or set on fire. Since I'm not a legal ninja yet, I'm not allowed to do anything aside from the academy three outside of the academy or the training grounds, so no shadow clones. All I can say is that it's going to be a while before I can look at a bottle of alcohol without expecting it to explode into flames."

The two spent the rest of their time waiting for Iruka resting, not giving a second glance at who came in. Even when Sasuke arrived, followed by his usual horde of fan girls, the two made no gesture to recognize his arrival. Sasuke in turn did nothing to show that he had cared, although he did give a curious and slightly irritated glance at Naruto for a few seconds before going to his seat, where Sakura and Ino once again brawled it out for the one chair next to him.

When Iruka finally came into the classroom and observed the three's performance, he pretty much shrugged and let them all sleep. He knew that Naruto and Hinata had had a rough night in general, and was questioning whether or not they would show up for class in the first place. As for Shikamaru… well, he's always asleep. Naruto was looking a bit pale and sweaty though…

"All right class…" Iruka called out, only to be ignored by pretty much everyone there. "Class?" No response. Iruka twitched a little as he prepared for his signature technique, the giant head technique. "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Instant results.

Works every time.

"As I was saying, I have a few important announcements to make before we start off the day." This had the class' attention, as normally Iruka went straight to taking attendance. "Due to an unfortunate accident, Mizuki-sensei will not be teaching you for the rest of the year. Because of the circumstances of the incident, I would like for you to respect Mizuki's privacy and not ask what had happened, as it is… a bit embarrassing for him to talk about."

_'Nice cover.'_ Thought Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru, who had already figured out what had happened the previous night after seeing Naruto's and Hinata's condition that morning.

"So does that mean that you're going to be teaching all of us by yourself for the rest of the year, Iruka-sensei?" Sakura asked curiously.

"No, it doesn't Sakura," Iruka answered. "Hokage-sama said that the problem will be taken care of in a couple more days, so I'll only be doing the solo stuff until then." He then smiled sweetly as he raised his killing intent a bit. "However, I do hope you don't expect to get a lighter workload with only one teacher now… right?"

A unanimous silent nod was the collective response of the rest of the class.

_'Heheheheh. I still got it.'_

The day was going pretty much as usual despite Naruto's returned presence. Iruka had allowed the poor blonde to sleep in class knowing that he must have had a rough night. When one of his other students asked him why he was allowing Naruto to slowly flood the room with a steady supply of drool, Iruka shrugged and replied that if Naruto was THAT tired then he must have done something truly exhausting within the past few hours and that they should leave him be. Besides, the particular subject he was covering at the moment was most likely something that Naruto knew already if what Kakashi had told him was correct.

Hinata seemed a bit jumpy, but if even a tenth of the rumors about what happened last night in the council chambers were true, then he would be too. Kakashi had told him enough to know that the girl had done something pretty radical in the chambers and it seems the rush had worn off during the night. It was only reasonable that he didn't call on her to answer a random question during the day.

The rest of the class however (minus Shikamaru, who was pretty much as dead as Naruto) was constantly sneaking glimpses at the blonde, the previous day still fresh in their minds.

_'There's no way the dobe has more chakra than me, let alone a jōnin.'_

_'Look at him, trying to look cool and upstage Sasuke-kun, CHA!'_

_'I don't think I drool that much even when it's all you can eat night at Ichiraku's.'_

_'My insects are telling me that he is constantly releasing an incredible amount of chakra into the air… so is he asleep or is he just fooling us?'_

_'Groan. Now that I'm paying more attention, the dead last's scent is way stronger than it was before. Sorry for doubting you yesterday, Akamaru. Still, it doesn't mean anything if he can't do anything with his chakra yet. I'm still top dog!'_

_'Groan. Master is letting his ego get the better of him again. Whatever, I'm just glad that the alpha with the snake scent is gone. I wonder what happened to Loud Fox. He is obviously the alpha male in this pack now, but why does he not act like it? Soft Hands seems to have gotten stronger as well, but she is very nervous about something… and they have their scent on each other. Are they mates? Hana-san and the triplets have been carrying their scent as well lately, as well as that odd empty-scented man's. … Maybe this is one of those ninja secret things that Kuromaru-sama was talking about earlier. I should ask him about it later…'_

"All right, class." Iruka said rather loudly, snapping everyone out of their stupor and waking Naruto and Shikamaru up… somewhat.

"We're going to go outside now for some kunai throwing and jutsu practice. Follow me."

Once outside, the class lined up like they had every practice day for the past few years; there was one line in front of each target dummy, which were a dozen meters away, and each line had two cases in front of it, one of assorted kunai, and the other had shuriken. A few meters behind the row of dummies was an earthen mound, large enough that it would take a truly terrible throw for a weapon to go off-range. Naruto and Shikamaru were at the end of their lines due to lack of motivation while Hinata was in the middle of another. Each student threw ten kunai and ten shuriken before retrieving their equipment and going to the end of the line. Their training was at a point where they could walk onto the range without fear of getting stabbed by their classmates by mistake… well, except for maybe Naruto before his change. (A/N: I'm not saying he was terrible, I'm just saying that he was easy to distract when he was that age.)

"Okay!" Iruka called out. "Begin!"

The steady and repetitive sound of wrought iron embedding itself into wood echoed throughout the courtyard as the several dozen children hurled their projectiles at their targets. Sasuke of course got a near perfect score, only missing with the last two shuriken and kunai by a few inches. After which came his routine cheering squad with love confessions and swoons. One could actually set a watch to their activities if they knew what to look for.

Hinata managed to get a solid 8 with both weapons, which somewhat impressed Iruka considering her fragile state of mind at the moment.

As the day continued, Iruka noted the scores of his students. The rough average for the class was about 6-7 hits and almost hits of both kunai and shuriken on the practice dummies, which was also the pass/fail line when the exams finally came around.

While it was true that the main deciding factor in whether a student passed or failed the genin exams was being able to perform the academy three, the students also had to pass a minimum number of required tests in basic ninja skills. Said tests included physical fitness, weapon skills, taijutsu efficiency, genjutsu, academics, teamwork, first aid, poisons, stealth, traps, chakra control and reserves, and so on.

Personally, Iruka felt that the physical and more practical subjects should count a bit more towards graduation and overall standing in the class, but the council had decided to make things easier for those who didn't have clans to support and teach them.

His wandering thoughts were interrupted when he saw Naruto drag himself up in front of his line. His fellow students on either side ran to get their equipment back from their dummies or simply waited for him to finish before retrieving theirs.

Training or not, no one wanted to be downrange of a Naruto that was having trouble keeping his eyes open, let alone standing.

As Naruto bent down to pick up his first round of kunai and shuriken, Sakura laughed.

"Ha! Watch out everyone! Naruto's throwing now!"

While this did get a response from a good portion of the class, those who were paying attention noticed that it was significantly less than when they'd mocked him before. Many of the students were looking at Naruto carefully as he pulled out his first kunai sluggishly and turned to his target with less interest than Shikamaru had for Ino. (A/N: Yes… Yes I did just do that.)

While everyone was looking at Naruto with some interest though, Hinata was the only one who managed to catch a very slight twitch at the corner of his lips. Whatever it was… she knew that it wasn't going to be subtle.

Naruto yawned as he lazily threw his first kunai at the test dummy. Sasuke smirked. The blade was going way too slow to stick into the wood, even if the idiot did manage to hit the…

His thoughts were interrupted as said kunai did in fact hit a vital spot on the dummy… and proceeded to go straight through it like water, out the other side and up to the ring in the earthen mound behind it. Needless to say, everyone watching was speechless for one reason or another.

"What… was that?" Ino asked in a daze as Naruto threw another kunai, giving a repeat performance as it went through another vital point.

"He's not even throwing that hard…" Mumbled Chōji as he slowly ate his chips in awe.

"Wind manipulation…" Whispered Iruka as a shuriken flew through the dummy, this time not really hitting any vital points but going through all the same. By the time the fifth kunai passed through the dummy, Iruka finally snapped out of his stupor. "Naruto!" He called out.

"Hn?" Naruto grunted as he turned his head to his teacher, eyes still half closed. "What's up Iruka-sensei?"

"Can you tell me why you are using wind element composition on your kunai and shuriken?" Iruka asked, somewhere between stern and in a daze.

"What are you talking about, Sensei?" Naruto asked, a little more awake now. "I'm not…" he looked at his dummy and saw the holes that he'd created and the projectiles behind it. "Crap."

Sakura laughed nervously, not believing what she had just heard. "Iruka-sensei… you can't be serious… can you? Naruto being able to use elemental composition? And wind of all elements?"

Iruka sighed. "How else could you explain what you just saw, Sakura? He was using the same kunai and shuriken as everyone else, and he wasn't doing any hand signs or anything suspicious that would indicate otherwise. In fact, it was almost as if he was augmenting them by pure reflex…" he turned to Naruto. "Another part of your special recovery training Naruto?" He asked skeptically.

Fully awake, said blonde laughed nervously while scratching the back of his head. "Er… yeah. Ero-nii noticed I had a wind affinity near the end of the first month and he decided to train me in it. He was pure evil when training me, but apparently Kakashi-sensei told me that I was learning a lot faster than most people did for some reason. After I managed to cut a leaf in half, Ero-nii forced me to learn how to augment kunai and shuriken with my chakra until it was practically instinct for me. And I do mean forced, under punishment of exploding model cows… the cows, everywhere…no escape…" Naruto started to shiver, and assumed the fetal position as everyone watching sweat dropped. This Ghost guy was apparently not only a slave driver, but was completely insane as well.

"Um…" Kiba sounded off, gaining everyone's attention. "Mental breakdown aside, what's so special about elemental composition and the dead last being a wind element?"

Ino groaned. "Pay more attention in class mutt. Elemental composition is normally only taught to chūnin level and above ninja because it requires a certain level of focus and chakra reserves. Normally, it takes YEARS for a person to master an element. Naruto's stunt with his wind element showed us that he's already at least half way done mastering it. As for why him being a wind element is such a big deal… why don't you know? It was on last week's test, and was one of the first things we were taught when we covered the five elements! Wind is the rarest element a ninja can be aligned to. Apparently it's so uncommon that even Suna has problems producing ninja that specialize in wind release." She turned to Naruto, still in his assumed position. "If the idiot has already mastered his element by this much already, I might have to have some second thoughts about his potential as a ninja… if he ever grows up that is…"

"Y-yeah…" Sakura stammered, still in denial… "But it still doesn't compare to what Sasuke-kun can do. He's a fire affinity, remember? Fire beats wind!" Several of Sasuke's fan girls nodded and cheered for their spokeswoman. Unfortunately for them, they didn't notice the small grin on Naruto's face.

Oh, how little they know.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

_Naruto and Ghost were sitting by the river, watching the scenery around them and trying to ignore the several thousand clones training several hundred yards away from them. It was a week before Ghost had to leave and they were going over what Naruto had learned the past few months. Naruto had noticed that Ghost was occasionally getting more serious than normal… more to the point and less joking around._

" _Kid." Ghost muttered, breaking the meditation silence between the two. "You're pretty much done with your beginning sensory training. You know how to release your chakra from your body and you're on your way to managing how to sort out the information you are receiving from your sense, as well as making your chakra last longer in the air and being able to let out the juice for longer periods of time."_

_Naruto felt a swell of pride inside of him. The training was very difficult, so much so that he doubted that he would have been able to get it right if he hadn't had sage and wind element training beforehand. Yet now he was almost able to get it down enough to use it in battle… if not as efficiently as Ghost could._

" _To be honest, you're the first person I've taught this to. Everyone else that I've had under my wing were either aligned to a different element, not as in tune with nature, or didn't have the reserves to pull something like this off." Naruto smiled. "However, this is only the first step. You have no idea what this ability is capable of in the hands of a master, AKA me, but for now let me show you some of this ability's greatest flaws, and in turn strengths…"_

_Ghost raised his clenched fist, palm up, and slowly opened his hand. While Naruto's eyes perceived nothing, his seventh sense went haywire as a large sphere appeared over his teacher's hand. "Tell me, what do you see?"_

_Naruto paused for a few seconds and attempted to figure out what Ghost had just done. "I… don't know Ero-nii. My sense is showing me a huge ball above your hand, but my eyes see nothing…"_

_Ghost smiled. "That's because your eyes are correct. What lies above my hand is a huge space of nothing. No air, no dust, no solids, no liquid. Nothing." The ball disappeared slowly. "Right now, when you use your sense, kid, all you are doing is telling yourself where the air around you is located. No more, no less. While this may help you against genjutsu users, this technique is nearly useless against people who specialize in earth style, and also water style specialists who prefer to attack from below. All your sense will detect is where the ground is, not what's below it. It also won't help you if you are trying to look in a room or area that is sealed off from your location. In addition, at your current level, this skill can also be mitigated by other wind users and fire users, as they can blow away or burn the air you've conditioned. Even I can't tell what lies in the center of a large enough fire or explosion, and a strong enough wind can also throw me off a bit if I'm not careful."_

_Naruto stared at Ghost in concentration, absorbing all the information like a sponge. "But… if that's true, how did you stop that fire style technique when you saved me from the mob a few months ago?"_

_Ghost smirked. "Before I answer your question Naruto, let me ask you this. What three things must be present in order for fire to occur?"_

_Naruto frowned as he recited the basic physics principle. "That's easy. Fuel, heat, and oxygen."_

" _And what did I just do just a few moments ago?"_

" _You made a ball of… nothing…" Naruto's eyes widened._

" _I assume you understand where I'm going with this?"_

" _You… made a huge ball of nothing in front of the fire technique to suffocate the technique… canceling it out even though you're a wind element…" Naruto explained in awe._

_Ghost chuckled. "Not quite. It wasn't a ball of nothing, but I did make it pretty damn huge." He turned his head to the river. "Air is one of the most versatile elements in existence. While it is true that a master of an element can defeat someone who has a type advantage over them if they play their cards right, the rule is multiplied by an ungodly amount when it comes to air. For example, by being able to make voids I have already made myself almost completely immune to mid- to long- range fire, wind and electric style attacks that do not have mediums, such as shuriken or oil. You might not know this, but electricity requires a sort of medium in order to work, like air or water. That's the main reason why lightning is so potent. Because it has to use such a weak medium to cross the huge gap between the clouds and the ground, it needs an incredible charge in order to establish a link. This is also the reason why lightning tends to strike the highest possible points. Using this logic, a shield of 'nothing' is in theory the best possible way to defend yourself against almost any sort of ranged lightning style attack."_

_"Likewise, shockwaves are simply large, clustered groups of gas particles that are traveling in a single direction. If a void is between you and a shockwave, the displaced air would simply fill in the void and leave you untouched." Ghost turned to Naruto again. "This is another reason why you're going for earth as your second element. With air alone under your belt and my training, you have already gained an advantage over three of the five main elements in this world. With earth, you have an advantage over four, with the fifth being an element that you control. Your next step in training is to familiarize yourself with the air currents around you and manage to control them to a decent degree. I'm not telling you to be able to be able to create monsoons… that stuff is beyond your capability, but I do expect you to be able to create at least a strong wind in any direction within your range. Don't expect to get this quickly either. It took me a fucking long time to master this skill, so don't get discouraged if you can't get it right in a few months, even with clones. Also remember to experiment a bit with this ability… as there are many tricks you can do with it that I haven't told you about. When you are finally able to create voids, I will teach you the first original ninjutsu I have… or will create. From what I understand, this jutsu will be the first one in your world that will earn the category of mass assassination." Ghost frowned as Naruto started to drool. "Despite all of this, you must remember that there will be people that_ **_will_ ** _be able to go toe to toe against you. While I seem a bit overconfident and stupid at times, I have learned to never underestimate my opponents…"_

" _But what about those times that Anko and Hana-sensei beat you up and…"_

_Ghost smiled. "I said I never underestimate my opponents, brat. I never said that I always tried my hardest to come out on top. Sometimes you gain more from losing then you do from winning. It's a humbling experience and it prevents your head from getting too big. Otherwise, it eventually gets harder for you to lose than it does to win…"_

_Naruto smirked. "I'll keep that in mind."_

_Ghost frowned again. "One last thing. If you do manage to be able to create voids while I'm gone, do NOT under any circumstances use them on other people unless it is part of a technique I show you. I am saying this as a friend and as your mentor. The voids are only to be used for defensive purposes. If you do use them as a sort of attack, I will stop training you immediately and will never aid you in your future exploits. Got it?"_

_Naruto froze as Ghost leaked some of his killing intent… or Presence as he called it. Swallowing heavily, the blonde nodded. "Crystal, Ero-nii."_

o. o. o.

"Alright…" Iruka moaned gaining everyone's attention again. "Since everyone is pretty much done with their throwing practice, let's get started on sparring. As for partners…"

"I'm fighting you, dobe." Sasuke said almost immediately, gaining everyone's attention.

The teacher sighed. He knew it would come to this. "Sorry Sasuke, but Naruto isn't sparring with anyone for a couple more months. I have instructions from Kakashi that say that Naruto isn't allowed to do any sort of combat training aside from kata due to his body still adjusting to his change…"

"He looks fine to me…" Kiba said, completely ignoring the fact that Naruto was still in the fetal position.

Iruka shrugged. "I'm just doing what I'm told. If you want to take it up with Hokage-sama and Kakashi-san, be my guest. But in the meantime, I expect you to follow my instructions."

Sasuke frowned as Iruka started calling out pairings…

o. o. o.

"Are you sure that this is okay?" A somewhat nervous Kurenai asked a relaxed Hana and Anko as they waited for Kakashi and Naruto, and eventually Hinata.

"What are you so uptight for?" Anko asked. "You're gonna be a jōnin instructor for the next batch of genin, right? It's only fair that you get some practice in before you get stuck with the real thing…"

"Yeah, Kurenai." Hana agreed, temporarily stopping from trying to cut a leaf in half with her chakra. Her dogs were attempting to do similar feats with the leaves that they held in their mouths, only they were trying to set theirs on fire or make it crinkle like aluminum. "It's not really a big deal. Kakashi-san has been involved longer than we have and even though he's always late when no one is looking after him, he's still getting better at teaching ninjutsu. Same with Anko and her hunting skills, and me with my medic practice. Teaching is actually a great way to brush up on the basics. In the meantime, we're trying new things out. I'm already close to getting the hang of cutting my leaf in half, and my triplets are close to finishing the first step of their training as well…"

Kurenai sighed. "That's not it, it's just… wait, your ninja hounds are doing elemental training too? Is that possible?"

Hana shrugged. "Why not? They can focus chakra, can't they? The only reason why most people, including my clan, don't think that they can is because no one has thought about it before and assumes that they can't because they don't have hands to do signs with. We were always too preoccupied with trying to do combination and physical attacks. It also doesn't help that a good portion of my family tend to have short fuses, so elemental training is almost impossible for them or their partners. To be honest, I think it's a great advantage for someone like me. I have three partners, and when all of our training is complete, we'll have three different elements to wield. Ghost-kun has already given me some good ideas for some new techniques…"

Kurenai sighed. "Again with that Ghost guy…"

Anko chuckled. "So what? We're still not as bad as when Yūgao got together with Hayate, and at least we have the nerve to admit that we like him… unlike someone else we know regarding a certain son of a certain Kage…"

Kurenai blushed a hue to match her ruby eyes. "F-Fine… I'll keep quiet about him for now." She took a deep breath and calmed herself. "But I still want to know what this group thing is all about. I know for a fact that there is more to it than what you're telling me, and I'm still skeptical about what the story behind this Ghost guy is."

"Well of course there's something else to us." Anko shrugged as she started her chakra control exercises. "But that doesn't mean we're gonna tell you. Like we said before, the old man's made this stuff an S-ranked secret, and personally I'm surprised that Hana and I are even allowed to know even half the stuff they told us."

"Ugh. Don't remind me." Hana shivered. "I'm still having trouble trying to get sleep at night."

"Wimp. I for one haven't slept so well in a loooong time."

"Of course **you** would…" Growled the Inuzuka.

"Ummm. Hi." Kakashi deadpanned as he and Naruto observed the spectacle, drawing the three women's attention to the two males. "Did we miss something important?"

"Yeah, and why is Kurenai-san here?" Naruto asked, a tad bit on edge.

Kurenai noted this as Anko replied. "What? Since Ghost is gone and everyone important already knows about the new training program, I thought it would be a good chance to get 'Nai-chan here some practice training brats before she becomes an actual teacher."

"How do you know who I am?" Kurenai asked Naruto inquisitively, careful to read his every movement.

Naruto stepped back in apparent nervousness. "Wh-what are you talking about? You're Kurenai Yūhi, right? Genjutsu mistress of Konoha? I've heard people talking about you occasionally. Red eyes, long bushy black hair, great figure, huge ra- crap I wasn't supposed to say that part."

Kurenai's eyebrows twitched in annoyance as Anko and Hana tried not to laugh. Keyword: tried. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Kakashi slowly edging away from her line of sight.

"Oh? And who may I ask said all this Naruto-kun? Just to let you know… I'm quite good at telling when someone is lying." She asked with a sweet smile that was nowhere near enough to distract everyone from the evil looking shadow behind her. Kakashi could have sworn the thing was looking in his direction.

"Kakashi-sensei…"Naruto said without a moment's hesitation. Anko and Hana, and her three hounds were on the ground laughing their asses off while said pervert was glaring at his student.

"I'll remember this." He growled as Kurenai turned her attention to him, which prompted the legendary Copy-Nin to run for the safety of his ass.

"… and Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei." Naruto finished his sentence with a sick grin on his face. The three women still present turned their attention back to Naruto, in which Kurenai merely gaped at the boy as the other two laughed even louder.

"W-What?" Kurenai stuttered.

"What? Kakashi-sensei talked about your figure and your skill with genjutsu, Hana-sensei talked about your looks and your figure, and Anko-sensei… well you should know that she talks about whatever the heck she feels like."

"You're damn straight I do!" Anko confirmed.

Kurenai face palmed. "Then why did you wait to say Hana's and Anko's names?"

Naruto did his fox smile. "And miss Kakashi-sensei running away like a little girl?"

"Careful kid…" Anko chuckled. "Keep acting like that and you might scare Hinata away." This caught Kurenai's interest.

Hana laughed. "Not if she doesn't scare him away first. The girl's been getting scarier and scarier lately, though I don't blame her. With keeping all this crap a secret, going to the academy where they only teach dated theories and history, and then dealing with her clan? I would have gone nuts a long time ago."

"Who said I haven't already?" Said Hinata, appearing from out of some nearby bushes, scaring nearly everyone there except Naruto, who had his Seventh Sense up and thus was smart enough to not say anything.

Kurenai had been seeing less and less of Hinata recently, as she had been constantly been going to her training sessions after school. However, what she had seen and what she was seeing right now was a stronger young girl who believed in herself, though she still looked mostly the same.

Hinata didn't make any motion that Kurenai was there as she walked straight towards Naruto and started to drag him away by the collar of his shirt. "Naruto-kun, I believe that you promised to interrogate me today after class."

Naruto was silently crying to himself as he saw Hana and Anko struggling to breathe at this point. "Yes ma'am." He said as he made the cross hand symbol for the shadow clones and made his standard 2000+ clones. Said clones stood at attention and saluted their doomed comrade as he was dragged deeper into the woods.

Needless to say, Kurenai was speechless at what she just seen.

"What… just happened?"

"Let's see." Anko managed breathe out, smiling so wide it was a surprise her face didn't break. "Hinata Hyūga just arrived completely undetected, scaring the living shit out of all of us. She then proceeded to drag away her life-long crush and future boyfriend by the scruff of his neck, scaring him into giving her a back massage. Lucky brat. Anyways, said blonde idiot, while being dragged away, produced several thousand shadow clones for training purposes, which they are about to do right now."

"We may have hidden how much Naruto has learned to the council in order to keep this program up." Kakashi added, popping out from the same bushes that Hinata did just moments before reading his book.

Kurenai turned to Anko, ignoring the cyclops for the moment. "Wait. Massage? As in like the ones that Ghost gives you two?"

Hana shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much. Ghost told us that the kid was good enough to practice it on people a couple of days ago, and today's really the first chance he's gotten to test it out on Hinata. He said that Naruto's still got a way to go before he's good enough to make a girl climax (Kurenai noticed the blush on the two women's faces.), but he is apparently good enough to give a really good relaxing massage. Which is apparently something Hinata desperately needs at the moment, judging from the rings under her eyes…"

"Tell me about it." Anko groaned. "Just a couple of days ago she figured out why her crush was treated like shit all his life. If it wasn't for Ghost, who knows how things would have ended up?"

Kurenai's eyes widened. "She knows about the Kyūbi?"

"Yep." Kakashi said as he turned a page of his book. "She really is turning out to be quite the kunoichi. Everyone here has high hopes for her. Although what really has my interest right now is that sister that Ghost keeps on ranting about. Do you guys suppose what he says about her is true?"

"What?" Hana asked. "The stuff about the ice cream and the giant crabs, or about the supposed dragon sealed inside of her?"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"Take a wild guess." Kakashi sighed.

"Hnnn" Anko hummed as she adopted a thinking pose. "He's never really had any reason to lie to us in that kind of manner before, so I'd guess that he's telling the truth. Considering how strong he is, I wouldn't put it past him to have some ridiculously powerful monsters in his family... or in his lunch box for that matter…"

"Wait, didn't he say something about things to never do in front of specific family members?" Kakashi asked.

"Oh yeah." Hana mused. "Let's see, um. Never act like a fangirl in front of the smart one, never attempt to truly harm children or women near the grandfather, never try to figure out what the hell the crazy one is doing, there was another couple of things for that guy… something about his blood?"

"I think it was never under any circumstances drink the crazy one's blood or say Demon Chicken of Doom near him under penalty of death or horrible maiming." Anko injected. "As for his sister… I'm pretty sure it was don't mention anything about her weight or age around her, also under penalty of maiming and/or death."

Kurenai sweat dropped. "That is a messed up family… aren't there any rules for Ghost?"

Anko, Hana, and Kakashi looked at each other nervously.

"Um… sure, but you have to make sure that no one finds out about it…" Hana said.

"Well?"

"For Ghost-san, the rule is never…" Kakashi started.

"…Ever…" Hana continued.

"…EVER…" Anko continued.

"Yes?!" Kurenai was near frantic at this point.

"…Put Chinese food near him." The three said in unison as Kurenai face faulted. (A/N: I don't know how they would describe it in their world, so I'm just going to call it Chinese food here and assume that everyone knows what they're talking about.).

"Y-you're joking, right?"

"We thought he was too until he told us the story behind it." Kakashi shuddered. "Apparently, a few years ago his family ordered some takeout. One of his orders had some kind of super powered bacteria in it, and to make a long story short he spent the next three months living in a bathroom, constantly spewing fluids from all of his orifices. According to him, he was in such bad shape that it was impossible to attempt to put any medicine or chemicals in his body for fear of an unstable reaction."

"Any time he even **thinks** he's near the stuff, he starts to panic and his body starts to… react." Hana shuddered.

"I tested it out once." Anko smirked. "Got some dumplings and hid them in my pouch. Second I took them out, he was screaming like a child, holding his stomach and running off to the nearest bathroom ranting about the ratio between how easy some toilet paper brands are on a person's ass and how fast they can clog a toilet. You just can't make shit like that up." (A/N: UNLESS YOU ARE MEEEEEEEEEE!)

"And he actually **told** you this?" Kurenai asked skeptically.

"Yep." Anko answered with no tact.

"After he freaked out when Hana brought some leftover kung-pow chicken from home that one day…" Kakashi added with an eye smile.

"At first we thought it was pretty funny, but after the third time we exploited it we kinda took it a bit too far when we saw how much it was disturbing him."

"That and it was getting annoying to watch him wince and whimper every time he tried to squat or sit down." Anko chuckled. "Normally that doesn't happen to a man I have interest in unless I…"

"Oookay, moving on." Kurenai interrupted to save the group from the mental images that Anko was about to give them all.

Anko started to giggle evilly. "I just remembered, the brat's gonna hate these next few months soooooo much. Ghost and I came up with a new training exercise for him, and I just got the okay to go through with it yesterday."

"Do I even want to want to know?" Kurenai rubbed the bridge of her nose.

Anko smiled. "Well, let's just say that it simulates him protecting several precious packages while surrounded and chased by enemy forces. Also, whatever you hear about him for the next few months… it was probably done with me behind him with a kunai at his back."

"A damned if you do, damned if you don't thing, huh?" Kakashi asked.

"More like fucked over if you do and dead if you don't." Anko grinned with incredible glee.

"Duly noted." Kakashi commented.

"Um… what is he doing?" Kurenai asked as she watched as some of Naruto's clones practice chakra hopping. They were at a point where they looked like they were bouncing on a trampoline, doing tricks, flips, butt flops, belly flops, and other things.

"Oh, those are chakra hops." Hana answered. "It's a new chakra control exercise that Ghost made up by accident. It's kinda hard to get the hang of at first, but after a while it grows on you. It's also a great way to build up your reserves. Pretty fun to do as well."

Kurenai remained silent as she observed and analyzed the practicing clones.

"Oi Hana-sensei, Anko-sensei, Kakashi-sensei." Called one clone from the side who was in front of three rather large groups of clones. "What's taking you guys so long?"

"Sorry Naruto." Kakashi replied. "We were just giving Kurenai-san here some teachers' tips on what to expect from you and Hinata. Why don't you guys split into four groups instead so Kurenai can teach you as well? Her group doesn't have to be that big since she will only be going over genjutsu theory and how to detect and dispel it."

"Makes sense. It's not like I'll be able to do genjutsu anyway with my reserves and control." The leading clone shrugged.

"Well then." Kakashi said as he walked towards one group of clones. "I'll be taking my group and ironing out their stances and jutsu."

"Poison, stealth, trap, and throwing minions, this way!" Anko shouted as she started off towards the woods. "Later Kurenai. I'm off to teach an asexually reproducing pre-teen boy how to kill people."

"Very funny Anko." Hana commented sarcastically. "Medic clones! We're going to that smaller field by the edge of the grounds!" She turned to Kurenai. "Just give him a chance. He's actually a good listener if you bother to give him attention. Oh, and don't bother teaching him genjutsu, just how to detect and dispel it. His control isn't good enough to make any decent illusions. As for what else he can do… well that's a secret for now. Hokage-sama will let you know later today if you should continue doing this or not. As for Hinata… she's in good hands." And with that the Inuzuka walked away, followed by a couple hundred clones and her three hounds.

Which left Kurenai alone with about a hundred clones all staring at her quietly. Needless to say it was a very awkward moment.

"… um." Kurenai stalled.

"You get used to it eventually." Deadpanned one clone knowing exactly what was going through the woman's mind. "It took Hana-sensei a couple of days to get comfortable enough to not have panic attacks and stop ranting about what she shouldn't have eaten the day before."

"That was pretty funny." Chuckled one clone.

"Remember that time when most of us transformed into copies of the triplets?" Sniggered another.

"Hahaha! Oh yeah! She started to panic like crazy and at one point screamed into the air and passed out! Too bad later she swore that if we did it again, she would use the original to test out her new techniques."

"Ugh. Don't remind me. Ero-nii's descriptions of all three of them were bad enough."

Kurenai deadpanned. For some reason she felt like she was in WAY over her head. "If you are done talking, we can begin the lesson." She said sternly.

"'Bout time." All the clones said at once.

This was gonna be a looooong day.

o. o. o.

As the sun set on the middle of a devastated forest about 250 kilometers away from Konoha, Jiraiya of the Sannin lay bloody and thoroughly beaten next to an only moderately injured Elder Toad Sage, Fukusaku. Both were focusing their dazed eyes on the unharmed long haired man who was sitting on a large upturned boulder and staring at the sky. Neither of the injured parties could say anything at the moment, as they were still processing the information that literally flooded their minds and pondering how the hell they were beaten so badly. Even though Jiraiya had been given the link that Ghost had taken from Naruto first, he was still having trouble believing all the crap that had apparently happened.

"Now that both of you are back with the living…" Ghost sighed. "We can discuss about what is going to happen in the next few years, Akatsuki, Orochimaru, and your second punishment for failing to be a competent human being… and writer…"

o. o. o.

It had been two months since Ghost had left. Sarutobi was a bit irritated at Anko and Hana for bringing Kurenai into the training regime without letting him know. After explaining what needed to be known to the genjutsu mistress, everyone agreed to allow the woman to come and teach the two twice a week.

Hana and her triplets had finally managed to finish step one of their elemental training thanks to Kakashi's and Naruto's guidance. It also helped that at one point, Naruto decided to teach her the Shadow Clone technique. As for how her dogs managed to learn so quickly, everyone just assumed that since animals are more in touch with nature, they could learn such things faster than normal.

Anko had a hell of a time training Naruto. Apparently Ghost's new training exercise was to sneak the blonde into a random bathhouse and cover him from head to toe in the women's section's underwear, then literally throw him in the middle of the spa where the owners could see him. The rest of the training was simple.

Don't get hit and don't get caught for as long as you freaking can. Oh… and try to survive as well.

As a precaution, Anko was there to prevent the damage from getting too extreme, however even she wasn't a sure enough safeguard when he 'leveled up' and was tasked to play keep away with the panties of the women who frequented the secret jōnin kunoichi springs.

Needless to say that Naruto's reputation increased dramatically with the male population and decreased just as quickly with the female. How Hinata kept her cool around Anko, nobody knew.

As for how Anko managed to get Naruto to do these things… all Naruto would say is that all those beatings that he got from the women were nothing compared to what Hinata would do if Anko told her THAT… whatever that meant.

Speaking of Hinata, the girl was still making remarkable progress. She had finally managed to complete rasengan, and was in the process of designing even more techniques based on the shell based third step. Her modifications to Jūken were still in development, but there was visible, significant improvement to those who paid enough attention to her kata. Her gravity seal was also at 3x, as Ghost had told her that she could raise it that high after another month's worth of training.

As for her training under Hana, Anko, and Kurenai… well, it was going very well. Hana had almost run out of things to teach Hinata about humans, and was contemplating teaching her about the more detailed aspects about organs, what they do specifically and how to manipulate them. Anko was fawning over the little girl's ability to track almost anything and her rapidly progressing skills at stealth in particular.

While she was still stressed by how dull the academy was and the clan elders constantly attempting to get her to slip and show one of her new techniques, it was now countered by Naruto's daily 'interrogation' practice. She wasn't trying to molest Naruto, yet, but she apparently had a hard time literally letting go of him after it was all done.

All in all, the only things that are holding back Hinata from being automatically promoted to chūnin would be her still relatively small reserves (compared to how developed everything else is), her small size, her endurance, and her lack of experience.

As for Naruto, although he was not nearly as experienced as Hinata in taijutsu, medicine, chakra control, and long term planning, he was doing equally well in his training.

The highlights of such were his special training with Anko, his progress with his Seventh Sense (he was now able to create strong breezes and had found an interesting trait about his conditioned air…), he could now use his bracers, or as everyone called them fox talons, without worrying about cutting off any appendages, and in particular, his interest into sealing.

Sarutobi had brought Naruto to the Namikaze estate several weeks after the Mizuki incident. Said estate resembled those of the other major clans in Konoha, except it had the second largest grounds in the village, next to the Nara's for obvious reasons. The estate was on the far edge of town, a good distance away from pretty much everywhere else in the village. Naruto was slightly irritated that when he finally moved here it would take him forever to get to Ichiraku's.

Naruto spent the entire day there, looking at pictures in various rooms. One room, filled to the brim with baby accessories and a crib, had his presence for a good hour before he moved on.

The place that had most of his attention though was the library, which was crammed full of scrolls of every subject. Jutsu, theory, history, sealing, styles, blacksmithing, the place had it all. Even Sarutobi was momentarily caught off guard by the variety and quantity of the library's collection.

When it was finally time to go, Sarutobi allowed Naruto to take one scroll from the estate to study… aside from Hiraishin of course, not that they had found it yet. To the Hokage's amusement and surprise, the blonde picked a beginner's guide to sealing. When asked why sealing, Naruto shrugged and merely said that he barely knew enough to make a decent storage seal and that it would come in handy later.

That being said, Naruto was still reading the scroll, which happened to have a bunch of his father's notes scratched into the side to make things easier. He could now make a basic exploding note and was already making storage scrolls to carry everything he needed for missions. Unfortunately, everything else regarding sealing was still way beyond his reach, even with shadow clones. It was just too boring.

Life at the academy was somewhat the same as well. While Naruto still pretended to be an idiot, saying stupid things, and pulling pranks every two or three days, the entire class was treating him with some suspicion, meaning they treat him exactly the same as before but are a bit lighter on the insults and name calling.

Sasuke occasionally tried to get Naruto to fight him, but Naruto still kept going on about his 'condition' and that he would be able to fight soon enough. "… so just wait a few more weeks, duck-butt."

While Sasuke would have normally killed anyone who called his hair that, three things were in his way:

1\. He would get into MAJOR trouble if he was caught, and he didn't want to get on the bad side of the Hokage. The old man had made a point to the Uchiha during one of his temper tantrums when he was younger (after the massacre) that he was once Itachi's boss for a damn good reason. The boy doubted that the old man was stronger than his brother now, but that didn't mean that Sarutobi couldn't hand **him** his own ass with humiliating ease.

2\. Naruto occasionally helped him out when he was getting chased by his fangirls, and he grudgingly admitted that he owed the dobe.

3\. And most important of all, Naruto had threatened Sasuke that if he went too far, Naruto would somehow make all his fangirls 'evolve' into yaoi fangirls. Even though Sasuke hated Itachi with a passion, he still remembered his brother warning him that yaoi fangirls were the scariest things that he would ever encounter, and that absolutely nothing could stop them once they got started.

Considering that said brother killed an entire clan in a single night, Sasuke chose to take the safe route and only ask to fight Naruto twice a week.

All in all, things were looking good.

o. o. o.

Izumo and Kotetsu were once again stuck on guard duty. For some reason, the two were always stuck with the job even though it was supposedly assigned randomly. The two had been pinned to the door so many times that people were starting to call them the gatekeepers.

They were also called the sleeping dogs, and 'those two unlucky bastards'.

As Izumo took his nap, Kotetsu lazily gazed down the road from the village. For some reason, he had been getting this odd feeling for a while. The kind of feeling that makes the hair on the back of one's neck stand on end for no discernable reason. It had started a few hours beforehand and had slowly gotten more distinct ever since.

Rubbing his eyes for a moment, Kotetsu noticed that someone was coming towards the village. It appeared to be a man in a zipped up black trench coat with a green flame design on the bottom hovering barely an inch above his grey steel toed boots. His short and spiky brown hair had lightning green highlights, which paled in comparison to his piercing sharp green eyes, which had a bored look to them. Slung over one shoulder was a small traveler's bag. All in all, the guy couldn't have been more than 5'8". Kotetsu didn't know why, but he had a feeling that this guy was not normal.

"Oi, wake up." He nudged Izumo as he analyzed the man.

"NNNNhhhh. What is it?" The sleeping man yawned.

"Just stay awake for a moment." He whispered. "You there!" He called out as the stranger approached the gates. "What is your business in Konoha?"

The man lazily turned his attention to the two guards, who momentarily froze under his analytical gaze. "My most sincere apologies." He replied in a monotone voice. "I was unaware of what the process was for entering and exiting this village."

Izumo chuckled, hiding his uncertainty about the man. "Can't blame you. Most people who're coming here for their first time don't. Still gotta know what you're planning to do here and what your name is, though."

The man yawned as he nodded. "But of course." He walked over to the two men at a normal pace. "I have two purposes for being here. The first is to conduct some business that my brother started several months ago. The second is rather confidential and requires me to be in the presence of your Hokage. If possible, can you please send word of my arrival? I would prefer to get this matter over with as soon as possible."

The two guards looked at each other for a few moments before they nodded and Kotetsu went back for a messenger bird.

"Who may I ask is requesting an audience with the Hokage?" Izumo asked as he started writing down on the necessary document to request a meeting with the village leader.

The man's lips twitched a bit, almost as if he was smiling.

"My name is Scabbard, and I am one of Ghost's brothers…"

o. o. o.

Yay. Chapter is done. Genin exams will be done soon. I promise! Please don't kill me!

So there you have it folks. Ghost is scared shitless of Chinese food, Scabbard hates fangirls, Shadow is sensitive about her age and weight, Waltz is overprotective, and Crypt… is Crypt.

Please review and leave comments.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 17

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

To all who are worried: No, Hinata will not be a monster in this story. I just made her a bit rough around the edges recently to show how much the recent events had been affecting her. She is still naturally soft spoken and polite, it's just now everyone knows that she has a mean streak very deep inside her.

Hmm, my influx of reviews has decreased significantly… how to cure this issue without turning into a porn novelist? A fight scene you say? And a good one at that? Surely you jest. No? Well okay then. But wait, how about ANOTHER fight scene as well? Am I insane?

PERHAPS!

o. o. o.

Oh wait, of course the oh-so-powerful council has precedence first… how silly of me… (sarcasm)

o. o. o.

Scabbard was standing in front of the village council with a bored look on his face. After only an hour of negotiation, he had managed to not only obtain a decent plot of land near the Namikaze estates and temporary access to the village for his entire family, but he had also managed to gain access to all matters decided by the main council and information given out during the meetings, as well avoided being anchored down by being labeled as a major clan and being stuck in the village… not that they couldn't just leave if they wanted to anyway, but this route involved about a hundred thousand tons less red tape to deal with over the years.

In return, Scabbard offered the village a trial period for his family for a period of five years, starting from they all arrived, providing their services at a reduced price and allowing limited access to the equipment that they would produce. In the case that at the end of the five years the village decided not to retain their services any longer, the family would leave without issue, allowing the village to own the house that they would eventually make and the designs for a select amount of equipment.

Said equipment included radio transmitters that looked similar to the ones that the village ninja currently used, but had over TEN times the range and life expectancy. Not only were they more efficient, but they were also unhackable, and automatically self-destructed if the wearer died or if someone unauthorized tried to disassemble them. They also worked on frequencies that were not yet accessible by the rest of the world's technology, being sufficiently (but not _too_ much so) advanced compared to the current level of technology. They were also water proof, shock proof, capable of filtering out most if not all types of noise/interference, and would not set off metal detectors.

They could also store over 100 songs and play them in the background, but computers and the internet were still far from a common thing in the eyes of the public, so he left that out for now. He could use it later to produce more income.

He then asked one of the ANBU in the room to put on one of the new transmitters and test it. He could travel as far as he wanted, but he must frequently use the transmitter to tell the council where he was and what he was seeing.

The ANBU was over a kilometer outside of the main gates of Konoha before his signal started to get fuzzy. Needless to say that after Scabbard's more than impressive presentation, any and ALL members on the council that had at one point or another been ninja were drooling uncontrollably at their potential new toy.

Throw in word that he already has created a decently established spy network and it was pretty much as good as done.

It was WAY too easy in Scabbard's opinion, although he couldn't quite blame them after the demonstration of his products. Even he would admit that he had occasionally gotten aroused after witnessing a piece of technology that was (at that time) beyond his means.

"I'm surprised that you and Ghost are related." Shikaku spoke up. "Aside from your attire, you don't really act or look like him."

Scabbard smirked lightly before yawning. "To be perfectly honest Shikaku-sama, if I wasn't the center of attention for the past hour, I would have fallen asleep within the first few minutes of the meeting. As much as it irritates people, narcolepsy runs in the family."

"That explains a lot." Sniggered Inoichi.

Scabbard turned to Tsume, who cocked an eyebrow. "I must apologize for my brother's poor manners Inuzuka-sama. Subtlety is not something often practiced by a good portion of my family." Half the ninja in the room had to hold back a laugh at this, knowing that Ghost had more than once manipulated practically everyone in this room perfectly without dropping his child-like demeanor. Hiashi did note that he was telling the truth though. "My brother told me that you in particular were extremely wary of his presence and was worried that he may have caused you and Hana-san some unnecessary conflicts... if not in those words exactly…"

Tsume stared into the man's lightning green eyes for several moments, attempting to find any sign of mistrust. While she didn't show it, she was unnerved by how still and focused his eyes seemed to be, regardless of the bored disposition he displayed. It almost seemed as if she was the one being analyzed instead. Add the fact that his scent was absolutely flooded with raw power and it was a wonder that she managed to maintain her demeanor. She smirked. "Heh. Tell your kin that he has nothing to worry about. Hana and I have come to an … agreement on the matter after she explained some things to me. I actually have to thank the bastard. Ever since Hana got into that bloody program of his, her skill's been going through the roof. She's already over halfway through her elemental manipulation, and her triplets are almost as far as she is. She's even told me that she's already thinking of some new techniques that would help her and the clan out greatly."

Scabbard put on a small smile. "Yes. While tact isn't something Ghost employs often, he is rather efficient at finding and inspiring creativity in others. I am glad that there are no hard feelings between our respective groups."

Tsume smiled. "Likewise pup. On a side note, where do you plan on staying for what the next month?"

Scabbard nodded. "I plan on staying within the village until my brother Ghost returns from his errands, at which point I will once again travel the elemental nations. I will be gathering information and establishing my spy network for about another six months, after which I will return with the rest of my family. For now, I simply plan to reside at a nearby hotel or at Uzumaki-san's residence…" He proceeded to stick his hand inside one of his coat pockets and produced a very thick and neat roll of cash. "I am very capable of managing money and trading information, so I never have much issue with finances. I am also the one who does the taxes and major financial decisions for my family."

Hiashi nodded as several merchant councilmen drooled at the presence of the money. "It will take a while to prepare a house on the area of land you recently obtained, and you have made it clear that you are a person of great significance in this village. Would it not be unreasonable for you to ask one of the clans for a temporary room?"

Several of the people in the room looked at Hiashi as if he was crazy. Normally the leader of the Hyūga would never propose such a suggestion unless said person was very important. Scabbard took his time as he stared at Hiashi's face as the man did the same.

While to anyone else, including Inoichi and Shikaku, the stare off was completely normal in terms of politics, to the two participating it was a significant conversation. Scabbard twitched a select group of muscles in his face as he continued analyzing his apparent supporter, which momentarily surprising Hiashi greatly. Hiashi in turn somewhat mimicked Scabbard's actions, only with different muscles. The pattern continued for about half a minute before Scabbard broke eye contact and shook his head.

"Your suggestion is appealing Hyūga-sama, however I do not believe it would be an appropriate choice for someone like me to stay at a clan's abode at this time."

"What do you mean?" Asked a curious Chōza.

"It means that it wouldn't look good for him or the clan that's housing him at the moment if he took anyone up on their offer." Shikaku answered for his friend. "Scabbard is an information specialist and has already established a spy network. If word of his contacts ever got out, not only would it look like the clan that is housing him would be one of his sources, but it could also appear to some as if he was stealing secrets from said clan as well. It's far more troublesome than it is worth."

"Which is why I have to decline any offers I'm afraid." Short haired man concluded. "To be honest though, I would not be well accepted in the Hyūga, Inuzuka, Aburame, or Nara clan compounds anyway due to my unique level of chakra. My presence has a tendency to disturb animals, and I believe that it would also… distract the Hyūga who are training with their dōjutsu."

"Indeed." Shibi Aburame confirmed. "My insects have been rather unsettled ever since you arrived. They claim that your reserves are dangerous."

"My most sincere apologies Aburame-sama, however this is as far as I can tame my reserves. Under normal circumstances, most animals would be able to handle my presence to a certain degree, however the case is different when regarding animals that have been trained in their heightened senses." Scabbard replied, bowing as he did so. Shibi nodded in acceptance.

Hiashi took this moment to turn on his Byakugan… and nearly yelled out in pain as what could only be described as a bright light was blasted in front of his eyes. He did notice something peculiar about his right leg, but he kept that quiet.

"You're not kidding when you said that your presence would distract my clan members." Hiashi growled as he rubbed his eyes.

Scabbard nodded as the council stared at Hiashi, who looked like he was on the verge of passing out, in awe. "If possible, I would like this vote on the subject of my family to be resolved. I have some other tasks to be achieved in Konoha while I am here and I wish to get a head start on them."

"Of course." Replied Sarutobi, who was for once glad that he was dealing with the messed up family. "All in favor?" About three-quarters of the hands in the room raised unanimously. "Then as of now Konoha gladly accepts… erm…"

"For now, please just refer to us as the Ōgakari Clan." Scabbard replied.

"The Great Scale Clan?" Shikaku asked. (A/N: think animal scales)

Scabbard nodded. "It seemed appropriate, considering it refers to a significant event that occurred to us several years ago." He paused as he looked at several council members. "Do not worry, I assure you it has nothing to do with Orochimaru."

Several council members flinched in shock as they wondered how the man got into their heads. "Any intention of letting us know what this significant event was?" Danzō asked intently.

Scabbard looked at the man for a few moments before he put on a smile that creeped out pretty much everyone in the room. "… Only if you tell me some of _your_ stories, Danzō-sama."

o. o. o.

It was yet another dull day in the academy. Naruto and Hinata were still bored out of their minds listening to Iruka go on and on about some dead ninja that no one would remember or care about, aided by random generic Konoha ninja number seven, however they'd managed to find something to pass the time with.

Hinata had been attempting to do Jūken with her feet ever since Naruto one day asked if she could, and why she didn't try after she said no. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, the girl started using her feet and legs to practice some basic chakra control exercises that her clan uses to train their children how to use Jūken. When she got to an appropriate level, she started to test them out on Naruto since he has tenketsu, actually reacts, and heals quickly.

The end result was that every day during class, the two would keep each other awake via Hinata trying to hit the tenketsu on Naruto's leg with her leg based jūken strikes and Naruto practicing his healing skills on his temporarily paralyzed leg. (Ninja footsies are not for wimps.)

Occasionally the class had to go outside right after Hinata had struck Naruto's legs, so he had to fake being sick, but they still thought that it was worth it. It got them through the day and it **was** technically training.

Needless to say, Anko was laughing her ass off when the two told her what they were doing.

Today, class was interrupted when Akamaru started to bark and whimper loudly. "Kiba! Get Akamaru under control or else I'll have to send both of you out of the classroom!" Iruka shouted over the dog's noise making.

"I can't help it Iruka-sensei!" Kiba replied stressfully. "Akamaru is going nuts! He's going on about this apparently huge chakra source coming closer to the academy and it's freaking him out!"

Everyone was distracted, however, by a knock at the door. Iruka, confused, went to said door and opened it to find a relatively short man in a black trench coat with green flame designs on the bottom. For a moment, Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru all thought it was Ghost, but the short hair, buttoned up coat, and most importantly his lack of glasses shot down that theory.

"May I help you?" Iruka asked curiously.

"Yes." The man replied politely. "I am here to see Uzumaki-san regarding his health. I was sent here directly from the Hokage to finish what my brother Ghost first started several months ago. It should not take more than a few minutes, after which he will immediately return to class and I will stay to observe the students for another task Hokage-sama has entrusted me with."

Iruka was about to respond when Akamaru broke free from Kiba's grip and ran the other side of the room and started to cower. Though no one else noticed, Shino was fidgeting in his chair and also having trouble staying still. Scabbard took note of this and sighed. "My most sincere apologies Inuzuka-san, Aburame-san. I am… not initially well accepted by most animals. If it okay, however, I still would prefer to observe the class from within the room after my business with Uzumaki-san is concluded."

Shino and Kiba managed to nod silently in response as they continued to placate their animal counterparts in hope to calm them down. They were having little luck at the moment.

Naruto got up and walked toward the man, looking at him curiously. "So you're Scabbard? The one Ero-nii says is like a human power plant?"

Scabbard took a few moments to register what Naruto had just said before putting on a small smile. "… Ghost has been called many things over the years, but Ero-nii was definitely not one of them… yet it is probably one of the most appropriate names for him I have ever come across. Well done."

Naruto smirked. "Thank you, I aim to please. But you still haven't proven that you're Ero-nii's brother yet…"

Scabbard didn't like that look that was on Naruto's face. It was the same look his family gave him when they were about to make him do something extremely… radical. Only a few things popped up in his head that could cause the boy to give him such a look, and only one of them seemed even remotely possible considering he had just arrived without any warning… which was bad.

"Please don't tell me that he told you about my…" Scabbard asked with a hint of nervousness. This caught everyone's attention.

Naruto smirked as he turned to the girls in the classroom and reached into his pocket and took out an envelope that contained some pictures. He had been saving them for a prank, but this was WAY worth it. "Hey girls? Guess what I have?" He asked in a taunting voice. Scabbard paled as he saw the envelope and had instantly figured out not only what it held to a certain degree, but what Naruto's plan was in general.

" **Please** …" Scabbard said sternly with what almost sounded like a squeak in his voice, as he put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and pulsed his energy a little bit… which in turn caused Akamaru and Shino to both have mild spasms. "… that's enough. I believe my reaction to what you were about to do was proof enough…"

Naruto shivered a bit before pouting. It wasn't that he wasn't used to the level of power that Scabbard just shown, Ghost occasionally pumped out nearly three times as much during a good training session, but he was surprised by the feeling of it.

While Ghost's killing intent was based upon what a person could describe as 'on the verge of eternal nothingness', Scabbard's was completely different. In that brief moment, Naruto felt like his every move was being watched, analyzed, processed, and judged by a thousand large eyes all around him, and for any action or slight twitch he made, there was an effective response that would result in his loss. What those responses were, he had no clue, but they were definitely there. Luckily, the feeling only lasted for about half a second.

"Hmph. Fine." Naruto pouted as he turned to the door. "Let's get this over with."

"I don't see why you should not be looking forward to this…" Scabbard commented as he followed the blonde. "If everything checks out, you can start sparring again. Even if your body's not in perfect shape, if it's close enough I can close the gap in just a few minutes…"

Everyone in the classroom stared at Naruto and Scabbard as they left the room. They had all been wondering how the blonde idiot would fight after his disappearance, but his apparent condition stopped him from doing any sort of fighting. Sasuke was getting twitchy, knowing that he would be able to fight Naruto very soon since today there was sparring in the schedule and Iruka had promised him that they would match up as soon as he got the okay.

Shino was still trying to get his insects under control. They kept on warning him that Scabbard was dangerous and extremely powerful, however Shino was countering that though that may be the case, he is for now an ally and does not mean the colony harm. He was making some progress calming them down, but he assumed that was only due to the fact that Scabbard had left the room.

Kiba on the other hand was still trying to make heads or tails out of what was coming out of Akamaru's mouth. (A/N: in the real world, a 12 year old boy who tries to do that in modern society would be labeled as unstable… it's a good thing Kiba was born in that world.). All Kiba could make out were True Alpha, strong, and great wolf. All three set off major red lights in the Inuzuka's mind…

Hinata was quiet, but a thinking quiet, not a shy quiet. She had turned on her dōjutsu when Scabbard first introduced himself and only barely managed to keep mute as a Scabbard (to her) lit up like a flood light. The only reason why she could handle looking at him at all was because she was used to looking at Ghost when he flared some of his juice, but Scabbard was something else entirely.

Like Ghost, Scabbard had two deep vertical gashes on his back, and he too seemed to have a second chakra system, but that was where the major similarities ended between the two.

Scabbard's entire system was absolutely flooded with deep green energy. Even Naruto didn't have this much chakra flowing in him when he was in Sage Mode! The astounding thing was that he seemed to be stopping most of his energy from leaking out. Also, his right leg starting from just below the knee down was completely missing, replaced with a strange metal contraption that looked just like a leg, only it had his energy running through it just as easily as the rest of his body. Not only that, but throughout his entire body was a sort of metal liquid that seemed to be constantly shifting and molding without causing harm to any of his vital organs.

Whoever he was, Hinata had no doubt in her mind that he was stronger than she could possibly imagine…

o. o. o.

About thirty minutes later, Akamaru and Shino started acting up again, which pretty much told the entire class that Naruto and Scabbard were back. Sure enough, several moments later the two entered the classroom.

"Naruto-san has made a full recovery. I must compliment Kakashi-san for his high quality care in wake of my brother's absence." Scabbard said in a monotone voice as he headed to the back of the classroom so he would not disturb Shino and Kiba THAT much.

"Oh yeah! I'm back, baby! Who wants to fight me?! I'll take all you bastards on at once if I have to! BRING IT OONN!" Naruto shouted in a hyper manner, excited that he would be able to at least show off a little in front of his classmates.

Iruka sighed. "Under most circumstances, I would just tie you up and hang you from the ceiling like a piñata like normal, but since it's pretty much time to go out anyways and you just got a confirmed recovery, I'll humor you this once."

Iruka couldn't do anything else as the entire class rushed out of the classroom to go to the sparring area in an enormous cloud of dust. Everyone knew that Sasuke was going to be Naruto's match, and they were curious to see how the dead last would go up against the rookie of the year.

Right before Naruto left however, Scabbard held his shoulder and whispered in his ear. "Nothing special. Just fight how you fight best…"

Naruto smirked and nodded as he made a beeline to the sparring area.

As the ring was slowly surrounded by students - Scabbard decided to watch from the top of the academy to stay away from the soon to be rampaging fan girls - , Naruto and Sasuke stared at each other intensely. Sasuke, trying to prove his position as the strongest person in the class, and Naruto trying to put him in his place.

Naruto had long since come to terms with the fact that the Sasuke from the past-future was not the Sasuke of today. (Was the future, but couldn't be anymore, because too much has changed already. Hence, past-future.)

While this did mean that he was more relaxed around the duck-butt, it didn't prevent him from trying to get on the emo's good side. That being said, the emo was up to his pits in debt to the blonde for helping him get away from his fan girls for the past few months, and when pressed would grudgingly admit that the dobe wasn't as bad as everyone made him out to be.

"You two know the rules." Iruka said from the side of the ring. "No doing excessive damage to your opponents, only academy based techniques and blunted shuriken and kunai are allowed. Are the combatants ready?"

"Bring it."

"Hn."

"FIGHT!" Iruka shouted as the two charged at each other. When they met a massive flurry of punches and kicks were exchanged, but none actually hit, which surprised many who were watching. They were expecting this to be a one sided brawl with Sasuke standing over a broken and bruised Naruto. Shikamaru and Hinata however, both knew that Naruto was holding a lot back. To Sasuke's credit though, Naruto had to admit that he was pretty damn fast and skilled for an academy student. He wasn't called a prodigy and a genius because his fan club forced everyone to call him that… much.

As the two combatants jumped back, Sasuke threw a flurry of kunai and shuriken at Naruto, which hit dead on…

Only for Naruto to poof into a cloud of smoke and turn into a log.

"And the lord doth say, 'May not-eth my ninja be slain, but in his place be a scapegoat made in thine image for but a few moments, the log.' And there was much rejoicing. Amen." Prayed a devout Naruto from the side of the ring, clapping his hands together in prayer.

"Amen." replied Iruka as he bowed his head.

Everyone else watching the scene however just sweat dropped.

"Damn it, dobe." Sasuke growled as his eyebrow twitched. He knew very well that most ninja chūnin level and above practically worshipped logs, but it still bugged him how Naruto could treat him so lightly. "STOP MOCKING ME!" He yelled as he charged the blonde again. As he threw the first punch, Naruto side stepped and did a sweep kick, knocking the Uchiha's feet from under him. Sasuke managed to recover by twisting in mid-air and using his back as a springboard to launch himself back onto his feet. He then proceeded to go on the offensive yet again, pushing Naruto all over the arena, finally landing a solid blow to the blonde's face, launching him to the edge of the ring and causing his fan girls to squeal.

Naruto slowly got up and glared at the Uchiha, who was smirking confidently. Letting loose a childlike yell and rushing towards his opponent, Naruto jumped high into the air for a big, but easily avoidable attack. Just as Sasuke was about to move however…

"Hey Sasuke- **kun.** " Yelled a highly effeminate voice from right behind him. Letting his curiosity get the better of him, the Uchiha quickly glimpsed back to see the instrument of his loss. A tall blonde woman with her long hair in two pigtails was posing seductively at him… oh yeah, she was butt freaking naked too. "Do you like what you see?" She winked and giggled, disturbing the Uchiha more as he opened and closed his mouth in shock.

WHAM!

The log that Naruto had replaced himself with just moments before came in contact with the back of Sasuke's head, knocking out the Uchiha out cold.

"LLOOOGG…ed!" Naruto shouted as he turned back to normal and laughed his ass off. Everyone who was watching (except for Scabbard) gaped at what they had just witnessed.

"Wh-what just happened?" Sakura asked in a dazed voice.

"I… I don't know, forehead." Ino replied in an equally dazed tone.

"That… was unexpected." Shino commented quietly.

"Shikamaru?" Chōji asked.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed. "After Naruto replaced himself for the first time, Sasuke started going berserk on the idiot. Naruto then maneuvered himself so that Sasuke was between him and the log that he replaced himself with earlier. When Naruto charged at Sasuke, it was a feint. Just as he jumped, he replaced himself with the log again so that he was right behind Sasuke and the log was temporarily disguised as him. Naruto then distracted Sasuke with his… transformation long enough for the log to hit Sasuke in the back of the head."

"Say it." Naruto said while taking in an excessively large breath of air. "Come on. Admit it. I am awesome."

"U-um." Hinata blushed and pretend stuttered as she pressed her two fingers together. "T-that was a g-good fight Naruto-kun. I-I was a b-bit shocked at y-your transformation though." Naruto froze for a moment as he noticed that while Hinata was blushing and acting like 'normal', she didn't make eye contact with him… which was normally a bad sign for Naruto. In reality though, Hinata was hiding yet another nosebleed as she thought of messing around with a female Naruto…

"Thanks Hinata." Naruto chuckled as he scratched the back of his head, mentally cursing himself for what could happen to him later.

"While I am impressed in the way you defeated Sasuke…" Iruka said as he walked up to the two boys with tissue paper jammed up his nose, "I have to wonder how you came up with such a… crude technique, Naruto."

Naruto laughed nervously. "Eheheheh, it's called the sexy jutsu Iruka-sensei. I really just made it to do some pranks later on, but Ghost-sensei told me that it was also a god-send technique for distracting perverts and greenhorns." Naruto paused for a moment as he looked at the unconscious Sasuke, who was bleeding from the nose before chuckling and facing Sasuke's shocked and speechless fan girls. "Huh. It seems like he isn't gay after all! That, or I may have accidentally given him an aneurysm from the log (amen) hitting him on the back of the head. Well, at least you girls now know that you may at least have a chance with the bastard." He paused as he looked curiously at his teacher, finally noticed the tissue papers in his nose. "Oh no… IRUKA-SENSEI'S A PERVERT!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs as he pointed at his teacher. Scabbard could tell that several dozen young eyes were now looking out the academy windows to look for said pervert… many of which would go back home and ask their parents what a pervert was.

WHAM.

"Naruto, stop screaming whatever comes to your head! Now I'm gonna have to spend an ungodly amount of time explaining to parents why their students are saying I'm a pervert!"

Naruto cradled the back of his head. "In my defense, I wouldn't have called you a pervert if you hadn't reacted to my sexy jutsu like you did."

"DAMN IT NARUTO!"

Before Iruka could do anything though, Scabbard had appeared behind Naruto quietly and pressed two fingers against his back. "GAAAAAARRRGHHH!" Naruto screamed as his body twitched and fell to the ground.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata squeaked.

"Whoa!" Kiba shouted in awe. "The hell did he just do?"

_'I didn't even notice him even getting closer.'_ Shino mused as he once again tried to placate his insects.

All the Sasuke fan-girls that had finally gotten their heads on straight (as much as they were going to) and were about to jump the unfortunate blonde froze.

Scabbard just stood there and held two fingers up in a peace sign. What surprised everyone was when a small spark of electricity jumped between the two digits. "Lightning manipulation. With enough training, you too can become a human taser." The man said in a monotone voice… however there was a hint of amusement in it.

"Erm…" Iruka spoke out loud. "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

Scabbard shrugged. "From what my brother has told me, Naruto-san should be able to take much more than a few dozen volts of electricity. He'll be fine…"

"Fine my ass…" Mumbled a collapsed Naruto. "That freaking hurt, you sadistic bastard."

Scabbard sighed. "I merely applied what seemed like an appropriate punishment in response to your less than admirable conduct toward your instructor. I still need some of your precious time after class, and if things had proceeded as they would have, you would have had detention."

Naruto pouted. "It still hurt though. I'm having trouble moving." While he didn't say it, Naruto was already going through his mind what his symptoms were and possible non-chakra based cures he could utilize to cure them, not like he wasn't healing up already.

Scabbard kneeled down and looked Naruto square in the face. "Ghost may have neglected to inform you, but our grandfather Waltz and I are the ones that keep the rest of the family from getting… out of hand. Do you understand what I'm getting at?" For good measure, Scabbard focused a little power to make the hairs on the back of Naruto's neck stand up.

Naruto sweated profusely. "I understand."

Scabbard smiled. "Good."

o. o. o.

Claiming that he may have gone overboard in zapping Naruto, Scabbard took Naruto away from the academy early and went to the training grounds after stopping at Naruto's apartment so that the blonde could equip himself properly for the spar ahead.

"We're now going to have an all-out fight, and by all-out, I mean you are going to try as hard as you can to force me to fight in a mid-long range manner." Scabbard instructed.

"Why mid to long ranged?" Naruto asked curiously

Scabbard smiled. "Out of my entire family, I am the weakest in terms of close ranged combat. My powers and skills are better suited for mid to long range. However, do not think this means I will be a pushover. I am still quite accomplished in several forms of melee and armed combat, and I do have several tricks up my sleeve. I AM related to Ghost after all."

As he said this, he held out his right arm and a thin, 6 foot long metal staff slid out of the sleeve of his trench coat. "Ghost didn't tell me what you learned while under his wing, and you don't know the full scale of my skills. We are both somewhat fighting blind at the moment, which is good. The only rules are that you are not allowed to do any major long ranged attacks, such as your Rasenshuriken, and you are not allowed to use more than five clones. Sage Mode is allowed, but that doesn't mean I'll give you time to get into it. Time is up when one of us admits defeat. Any questions?"

Naruto smirked as he got into his fighting pose, standing slightly sideways with his left arm cocked in front of his body at a slight angle and his right lazily brushing his right cheek, his fox talons hidden underneath his sleeves. "What happens if I go overboard? I don't want Ero-nii on my ass about maiming his brother."

Scabbard mimicked the blonde as he got into his fighting stance with his pole in both hands. "I'll figure something out. I am the smartest person in the family for a reason, you know."

Naruto's eyes narrowed, "So all I have to do is make you fight from a distance?"

Scabbard eye smiled. "That is correct. I will only use this piece of metal and some of my powers as backup until the match is done."

Naruto smirked. "All right then."

Three clones dove in from behind to ambush Scabbard and try to finish him off quickly. Scabbard grunted in boredom as he stepped between two of the clones while clotheslining both of them with his staff, then held the staff like a spear and jabbed the third in the side before it had time to defend itself properly. Scabbard then had to quickly jump out of the way of a fourth clone from the front sporting a Rasengan, which he noticed was smaller than it should have been, which created a large crater in the ground.

"Impressive power…" The man mused as he landed a few feet away.

"You could have easily killed the clone before it landed." Naruto commented, still in the same spot as before.

Scabbard got into position again. "Yes, however I am unaware of a Rasengan's life span after it is separated from its host. It would be unsightly for me to have destroyed the clone, only to be taken out right afterwards by a falling chakra bomb, so I instead retreated."

Naruto smirked as he created some more clones. "Thanks for the future project idea." The clones rushed in to join the fourth, which was still in the crater.

Scabbard mimicked the clones and ran forward. "Anytime."

The two sides collided. Scabbard's skill with his staff was nothing short of perfection as he twirled it in every direction and swiftly took out two of the clones within a second of each other, dodging kunai, shuriken, and physical blows within a hair's breadth of his person and not batting an eyelash. The two clones that were out of his striking range looked at each other and nodded before rushing Scabbard once more. Scabbard noted this silent exchange and instantly started to calculate and observe everything that the blonde was going to do, and how to react…

While Ghost did tell Naruto and Hinata that he had the best control over his body, he wasn't telling the entire truth. Ghost in reality has the best **combination** of control and range of his body out of everyone in his family, but he did not hold the top place in either category by itself.

Scabbard is capable of processing information at incredibly fast rates, partly due to the fact that he is able to access 100% of his brain's capability if needed and because he is constantly experimenting on himself to increase the efficiency of his body, not that he actually needs to do so often. As a result, he is capable of moving his body in an extremely precise manner at will, capable of being more efficient and exact than most robots. The reason he is dubbed the slowest in his family is due to the fact that he is missing much of his right leg, which restricts as top sprinting and traveling speeds. This does not, however, hamper his reaction time in the slightest…

So when the clone in front of Scabbard swung with a chop and he noticed the chakra blade coming out of its sleeve, he was already moving in the correct manner to not only counter the blade coming for his head, but place himself in a better position to deal with the other clone to his right in his blind spot as well, who he had little doubt was about to use the chakra blades…

…Too bad that was what Naruto was hoping for. As Scabbard deflected the wind blade over his head with his pole and jumped to his left to get out of range of the clone to his right, the fifth clone that Naruto had made from the beginning jumped out from behind a rock that was uprooted by the earlier Rasengan. Scabbard had taken the missing fifth clone into account in his calculations and responded with a backwards jab from his pole to the clone's stomach before it could do anything, but the clone's purpose as a distraction was done, as the other two clones rushed in WAY closer and faster to Scabbard than he would have expected, as he planned that they would still be attempting to slash him to pieces. He only had enough time to jab one of the clones in the head and was about to use the other end to nail the second when it grabbed the staff and smiled.

"Boom." It said.

"Shi-" was all that could be heard from Scabbard's mouth as he was engulfed in a huge explosion.

Naruto watched the spectacle unfold in front of him with a great sense of pride, and some disappointment. His tactics were far more developed than they were before, and with his new array of skills Kakashi and the Old Man were claiming that he would be at least elite jōnin if he wasn't limited by his physical size and his temper. Still, it was satisfying to keep someone on Scabbard's level on his toes, even if he was holding back most of his powers.

Scabbard was a strategist. That much was made clear from what Ghost had told Naruto. While he didn't mention anything specific about his brother's powers and abilities, Ghost did say that the worst thing you could possibly do while fighting him or someone else that fights like that is to give them time to think. Naruto had to admit that after watching Shikamaru fight on several occasions, Ghost had a solid point.

The best strategies to counteract this type of fighter involved overloading them, or giving them too much information to sift through so that they would be too overwhelmed to produce a decent countermeasure when it counted. Naruto knew that Scabbard would be able to handle the chakra blades and the fifth clone with little to no issue, but they were just distractions. Scabbard was still processing the existence of the blades and the clone was there to take up the man's movements as Naruto turned off his gravity seals to rush his opponent. While Scabbard was busy trying to shift from thinking of ways to counter the blades to how to handle this new level of speed, Naruto snuck in an exploding clone to hopefully finish off the temporarily stalled genius. The blonde had managed to master the technique a week after the Mizuki incident and had been making Kakashi shit bricks ever since.

However, as the dust cleared from the latest explosion, Naruto noticed a still form several dozen meters away from the crater, which began walking towards him and clapping.

"Impressive." Scabbard commented as he walked around the dust cloud, revealing his slightly scratched up coat and body, his pole nowhere in sight. Naruto could see that he was wearing a green shirt underneath the coat, but not much else at the moment. "I see my brother taught you the effective countermeasures against my brand of fighter. I do have some questions about your performance though…" The man smiled, raising his killing intent a bit. "First of all, those bracers. My brother designed them, didn't he? They're also the reason why your Rasengan is smaller than anticipated."

Naruto smirked as he lifted up his right arm and used his left to pull back the sleeves to show his fox talon. This was gonna be a good fight. "Yeah, Ero-nii designed them, so it's kinda obvious that they can do more than what you've seen. I still can't make a blade and Rasengan at the same time with one arm, though."

Scabbard nodded in understanding. "Of course. If it was easy, you wouldn't have had so much trouble making Rasenshuriken." He looked up. "That speed you displayed… I notice that your body is more relaxed now… as if it is holding less weight than it was before. A gravity seal. What's your current ratio? Judging from how you handle your body at the moment and the size of your muscles, I'm estimating about… 4.25x?"

Naruto was starting to get worried. This guy was a lot sharper than he gave him credit for. "Yeah. My seal's about 4.3x while training these days. Ero-nii told me that it's gonna stay on that level for a while so that my body has time to grow without getting stunted…"

Scabbard smiled. "Ghost is right. Even with your new healing capabilities and your initial training and body structure, the limit on one as small as yourself at the moment is normally 4.5x at the most without doing irreparable damage. Even muscles have limits." He paused as he stared at the blonde some more. "I assume that Mizuki moved faster than before. I wonder what else you are trying to learn from the scroll…" Naruto's face said it all, even as he tried to hide it. "I see, five techniques in all… three ranged attacks, a defensive one, and an extremely powerful forbidden technique as the last one… interesting. You have already mastered the ranged attacks and are in the middle of getting the defensive one down I see, but the last one you haven't started yet…" He paused for a moment, "I would prefer is you didn't use Pressure Damage for this fight, as it would defeat the purpose of me testing out your close ranged combat skills."

Naruto gaped. "How…"

"I have some knowledge of some of the jutsu in this world… and Atsugai (A/N: I'm using the Japanese name cause it's faster) is one of the few wind techniques that would register as a high level wind jutsu that doesn't require any sort of instrument to perform. Combine that with the fact that Ghost most likely told you to learn some wind techniques while he was away and the rest is a moot point." Scabbard sighed. "I believe we have talked enough. It's time for round two. Try to keep up. I highly suggest using Sage Mode for this, if you can."

Naruto shook himself out of his stupor and smiled. "You sure you wanna keep going without your staff?" He waited as another one of his hidden clones jumped out from behind Scabbard and tried to rush in to blow himself up…

…only to get impaled by a large metal spike that erupted from the man's back. Scabbard smiled at the surprised Naruto as the metal slowly receded into his body, revealing an unscratched section of clothing. "I believe I still have everything in order…"

Scabbard ran straight to Naruto, shocking the blonde at his straightforward approach. Naruto quickly made the hand signs for his shadow clones and sent them in to stall the man. With the gravity seal off, Naruto hoped that they would at least be able to reduce Scabbard's pace a little as the two sides collided, however that was not the case. As each clone got close to him, a spike rocketed out of the man too quickly to evade, not allowing the clones a chance to counterattack or do anything in response. As soon as a clone was hit, it disappeared. Naruto cursed as he took note of the fact that if these clones were real people, Scabbard's reckless tactic would not work nearly as well due to the fact that he would still have to deal with the bodies of his victims instead of large clouds of white smoke after taking out his opponents… which he accurately guessed Scabbard already knew and took into account, which is why he was using such a tactic in the first place. Naruto swore as he made some more clones and sent them in with their chakra blades out… only for them to be destroyed only a little bit slower than their predecessors as Scabbard dodged each attack by a hairs breadth and countered with the metal inside his body, while still going for the real Naruto without batting an eyelash.

Naruto could tell that Scabbard would get to him way before he could get into Sage Mode, and it seemed that he was taking the shortest route possible to get to him too… there was only one way he could manage to gain a chance to win this fight at this rate. It was a gamble; he hadn't mastered this particular trick yet, and he wanted to save it for Ghost, but it was his only shot. Scabbard was closing in fast, and the sharp look in his eyes were the most intimidating ones he had seen since he went up against all six of Pain's bodies at once. Fūgadan and his projectiles were too restricted in size to be effective against Scabbard. Naruto had no doubt that he'd be able to dodge them as easily as the fox talons. The man's reaction time was simply too fast to assume that such an attack would work in the first place, and it was obvious that the fight was going to get close and personal very soon. Mentally cursing himself, Naruto produced yet another batch of clones to rush Scabbard while he himself started focusing on the energy that he was using for his Seventh Sense…

Scabbard was not even 5 meters away from Naruto when he made those clones. Mentally sighing to himself, the man showed his disappointment as he expected Naruto to show a bit more skill, finesse and resourcefulness in this fight, but he guessed he overestimated his opponent. He could tell that the blonde was planning something, but Scabbard determined that it was too late for the blonde to pull it off as he took out three of the stalling clones with no issue and rushing past the other two, who'd made the mistake of spreading out a bit too far. A meter away from Naruto, Scabbard jabbed out with the parasite in his body to take out one of the clones that decided to try to rush him from behind. While Naruto did technically have a higher running speed than Scabbard, the parasite's jabbing speed was almost impossible to follow, making the blonde uncertain as to what his actual striking range was.

Now right in front of the boy, the two locked eyes for a moment as they dueled blade to blade for just a few moments. Scabbard's skill outclassed Naruto's easily, and within a few hits the blonde had taken a fairly large stab wound to the stomach.

Poof.

Scabbard's eyes widened for a moment before he quickly turned around… only to barely dodge a punch from the real Naruto… only to be thrown violently to the side as if he'd been hit square in the face. Scabbard flew through the air and landed roughly on the ground. While it wasn't the hardest he'd ever been hit before, it still left bells ringing in his head as he struggled to get up.

"Ugh… this is why I'm not good with kids." He mumbled to himself. "They're always giving me massive headaches and aiming for my head…" Scabbard shook his body and managed to get up.

"You okay?" Naruto called out, in Sage Mode. "That would kill most people."

Scabbard raised his arm to wave Naruto's comment off as he rubbed his face. "I'm good. I'm good. Nothing I haven't experienced before. Waltz hits harder, but you still have a good arm on you." Scabbard shook his body. He was going to have to put his body on overdrive if he was going to keep up with the brat now, if he thought it was necessary to fight anymore at least. "Okay. So, I'm guessing you replaced yourself with a clone at the last second. I didn't think you could do that, but apparently you can. That much I got. But how did you get into Sage Mode so quickly? There was nowhere near enough time for you to gather enough natural energy, let alone do it in conjunction with closing the space that was between that last clone and myself…" Scabbard, still dazed, focused hard on Naruto's face. While the blonde was hiding his emotions better than he was before, probably reminded after he managed to read most of the boy's new arsenal, he still saw enough to surprise him significantly. "You can gather natural energy while moving…" He muttered under his breath, getting a twitch out of Naruto. "But how…"

Naruto sighed. "Since you already know this much, I guess I'll give you a hint. Ero-nii taught me how to use my eyes in the sky."

Scabbard frowned as he started to piece together the puzzle in his head. "He taught you how to use the Seventh Sense? He's never taught anyone that before… I see." Scabbard smiled as he came to his conclusion. "Instead of balancing out the natural energy with your chakra inside your body, you use the Seventh Sense to do the process outside in the air, nullifying the risk of imbalance. After the process is done, you can pull in the finished product without having to worry about turning into a statue, whether you're moving or not. This process, while initially taking more time to set up, is far faster in its execution than just simply gathering natural energy, and by doing so you can replenish any lost chakra while in the midst of battle… correct?"

Naruto smirked and shrugged, his yellow frog eyes focusing on his opponent. He was impressed that Scabbard had determined so much of his trick so quickly with just a few hints. "Pretty much. I'm still a beginner's level with the sense though, and to be perfectly honest, this was the fastest I've gathered the energy to myself to get into Sage Mode. I was worried I might go overboard and turn into a frog, but I was sure that you could have turned me back if that happened…"

Scabbard smiled as he yawned, going back into his tired and lazy demeanor. "Yeah… no. I couldn't. If you turned into a statue, the only person that could change you back would be Ghost." He waited a few moments to take in Naruto's look of shock and fear. "But other than that… congratulations. You pass." He then proceeded to take off his wasted trench coat, revealing a dark green shirt with thin white tribal designs on it in the pattern of large lightning bolts.

Naruto stared at the man. "Wait… just like that? Aren't you going to test me on my skills in Sage Mode?"

Scabbard shrugged as he patted down his coat to clean it of the dirt that got on it during the fight, setting off a few sparks in the process. "Why bother? You showed me plenty of resourcefulness without it. I was originally planning on going on with the fight after you went in Sage Mode to test how you would use your limited time, but you apparently got rid of that weakness on your own. Not only that, but the array of techniques that you showed me beforehand were enough to force me to give you a passing grade as soon as you went into Sage Mode anyway."

"Unless you haven't noticed, my close range fighting style is based upon using the least amount of energy and moving only as much as necessary. Your Sage Mode already rendered my style next to useless, and with your enhanced speed combined with your limited skill with your bracers – yes, I can tell you are still a rookie at using them - you pretty much have me fighting from a distance regardless. I must commend you on your new method on gathering sage chakra. It is quite ingenious if I do say so myself. I do have some other tricks I could have used in the fight, but in reality they would have only served to waste our valuable time. To be perfectly honest though, if you hadn't gone into Sage Mode, you most likely would have lost."

Naruto sighed as he went back to normal. "I noticed. Still, it is pretty cool that I managed to beat one of you guys in a fight…"

No sooner did those words exit Naruto's mouth then several metal spikes shot up from the ground around Naruto at an incredible speed and trapped the boy where he stood. Almost instantly afterwards, several sword shaped blades also shot out of the ground a few feet away from him, splintered in the air, and arced toward the ground, stopping just short of impaling the boy. The edge of each blade sparked a bit as Naruto sweated profusely in silence. Scabbard smiled as he put his coat back on, somehow returned back to its pre-battle condition. Suddenly, a sharp crack was heard as a bolt of dark green lighting flashed from Scabbard's body and split to nearly all the shards of metal around Naruto, then converging together again into three separate bolts on the other side of the boy and each blasting apart a huge tree on the other side of the training grounds.

Scabbard yawned. "I thought I informed you earlier, I am far more proficient at mid and long ranged combat then I am at close range…"

o. o. o.

"Are you going to tell us what this is all about already?" Sarutobi grumbled irritably to Scabbard as the man continued to write some more seals on the confiscated Suna puppet that the Hokage had donated at Scabbard's request. " **Some** people can't control how old their bodies are, and occasionally need to sleep…"

Scabbard sighed as he finished up the last seal on the puppet's chest. It was difficult enough to make such seals in the middle of the night, let alone with an old man grumbling right behind you. Looking up, the man checked the attendance of everyone in the middle of the training grounds. Shikamaru, Sarutobi, Kakashi, and Naruto were all looking at him with interest as he got back up. All the current residents of Konoha that had regained their memories were now focused on him.

Scabbard sighed. "For the last time, I would have done this earlier, but I needed to make sure Anko-san and Hana-san wouldn't follow us. Anko's been hunting me all day ever since she heard that I was in town. The reason why we have to do this so late is because I don't want her here, and it is public knowledge that she gets herself hammered by this time of night, and since she hasn't gotten me yet, it is only safe to assume that she has dragged Hana-san with her to spread her misery." He looked up to see his companions deadpanning in understanding. "To start you all off on what I am doing, let me just first inform you that I am a level 8 seal master." He noted everyone's eyes widening.

"Does that mean you're gonna give me a tail and other fox traits…" Naruto mumbled as he stepped backwards.

Scabbard shook his head. "No. Ghost and I decided to leave that to Crypt. My job is to…"

"CRYPT?!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. "The guy who falls in love with inanimate objects so often you can set your clock by him? The guy who is constantly arguing with the floor? The guy who if you piss him off goes on a murderous rampage and drains your body of every drop of blood you have?! THAT Crypt?! Are you SHITTING ME?!" The other three men who had regained their memories paled and stared at Scabbard in fear and curiosity.

Scabbard nodded as if it wasn't a big deal. "Yes, that Crypt. The one who is ranked among the best seal masters of all time and is capable of doing the best job of tweaking your seal without causing anything to go wrong. After he is done with you, I wouldn't be surprised if you could go full human, go half and half, or go completely fox at a mere thought. Besides, it's far too dangerous and early for you to get them anyway. You are already pushing it with the villagers looking as you do now."

"Not only that, but Ghost and I are still hiding this world from the rest of the family. If I change you now, my sister will immediately tell that I've been giving someone animal traits… again, and will hunt me down with the wrath of a thousand convention's worth of angry fangirls… again. She is extremely fanatical about anthropomorphic males, especially fox males, and somehow has an 11th sense on it… don't ask what 7 through 10 are, you don't want to know. She even has a list of the best species to mix with people with … though how mongoose got into the top ten I will never know. Now if you will excuse me, I can continue."

Scabbard ignored his massively sweat dropping audience. "As I was saying, my job at the moment is to… power up a certain function of your seal to make it more efficient and distinct. At the moment, it is only a one time only function that disappears after it is used… but it has far more uses than just resealing the Kyūbi."

Naruto's eyes widened as he turned to the puppet. "Then the puppet is so…"

Scabbard nodded as the men listening to their conversation blinked in confusion. "It will only be temporary, but for tonight you will all be able to talk to him and get some of your questions answered. Afterwards, he will stay in your subconscious and be able to regulate the flow of the Kyūbi's chakra into your system from the inside, providing a better and more flexible job than the seal would."

"O-Oi." Shikamaru stammered. "You, you couldn't be possibly talking about…"

Scabbard smiled. "Yes. You're all going to get a nice long talk with the Fourth Hokage, aka Minato Namikaze. The puppet is here to channel his spirit for a few hours, then it's back into Naruto's mind with him." He turned to said blonde. "Now lie down for a moment. Ghost was not experienced enough to tamper with your seal without knocking you out, but I am. Just stay still."

It took just a few moments as Naruto laid on the ground and the familiar menagerie of colored rings came into focus again. Scabbard quickly separated the metallic blue ring from the rest of its kind and slowly started to pump some of his energy into it while tweaking some of the specifications of the overall settings. The entire process took no more than a few minutes.

"You know…" Naruto said as Scabbard reset the seal. "If I wasn't so sure that this was all real, I would have mistaken this entire incident as a bad dream and started to worry about what I'd eaten last night…"

Scabbard chuckled as he went for the puppet, "You're not the first one to say that. Now hold still for a minute longer…"

The man laid down the puppet next to the blonde and placed one hand on the stomach of each body. A bright blue glow flashed for a few moments, blinding everyone there.

When everyone came too, there were not one, but two blue eyed blondes laying on the ground in a stupor.

"Ugh. What hit me?" The elder groaned as he got up. Looking around, he noticed the crowd that was staring at him like he had risen from the grave. "Um, this doesn't look like the inside of Naruto's mind… and I don't see eight tails, either…"

"S-Sensei?"

"Minato?"

"…Troublesome."

Naruto stayed quiet as he looked at his father from the side, not sure what he should say or do at the moment.

"So I can accurately assume that you are Minato Namikaze, Fourth Hokage of Konoha and maker of the seal that contains the Kyūbi, correct?" Scabbard asked in a somewhat curious tone.

"Erm… yeah. I am. And you are?"

Scabbard smiled. "My name is Scabbard." And a moment later the short man had blasted the legendary Fourth with an incredibly powerful shock of lightning that sent the man across the training grounds and through several dozen trees. "And I've been waiting to do that for the past month and a half…"

His onlookers stared at him in fear, awe and rage. "Why did you just do that?" Growled Sarutobi.

Scabbard frowned. "Apparently my brother didn't tell you how bad of a job your oh-so-powerful Fourth did on the filter. I'll make this nice and simple for you. IT WAS ABYSMAL. The only way the filter could be in such a state was if it was done by a complete novice or if it was done by a blind person who was guessing what went where. Considering that he applied such a seal to his own SON screams carelessness and irresponsibility on a level I haven't seen since Crypt found his old custom made unicycle in storage a few years ago and went AWOL in the village we were staying in. It baffles me how this man could be a seal master in this world if he was able to overlook such a glaring mistake when making something so important, even if he was rushed." A large explosion was heard as Minato's body was launched in the air by several of Scabbard's metal poles and slammed back into the ground a few feet away from them, the poles pinning him to the earth. "You won't die, I can promise you that, but you sure as hell aren't getting off so lightly." Scabbard said coldly. Kakashi and Sarutobi would have stepped in, but Scabbard's killing intent was overwhelming.

"For now, though..." He sighed as the intent dropped and the blades retracted into the ground. "You may talk to everyone here for old time's sake and catch up on what is really happening. If you think something should be kept secret at the moment, don't hold back with these guys, they know pretty much everything already." He paused. "Oh, but don't tell the old man about the secret to doing paperwork. I want to cash that in for all it's worth later on. I have a feeling that the other clans would also pay handsomely for that kind of information." Scabbard smirked as both Kage looked at him in shock, Minato in particular looked like he had completely forgotten he'd just been pretty much nuked and thrown around like a rag doll.

"You know the secret to doing paperwork!?" They both shouted in unison, earning a sweat drop from everyone else there.

Scabbard lowered his face and raised his power enough that bolts of lightning crackled around his body, giving him a very intimidating appearance. "Yes, I do. The real question is: are you going to do anything about it?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"I thought so." He turned to Minato. "I'm going to leave now. Did you hear what I said about you managing the Kyūbi's chakra from inside Naruto?" The elder blonde nodded silently. "Good. You have a few hours before the seal wears off and you go back into Naruto. Use that time well. Naruto, congratulations, you now have two voices in your head. Try not to go crazy, okay? I have enough trouble managing my family alone." He started to walk towards the village. "I am going to sleep, considering I haven't gotten any for the past three days. I'll be at Naruto's apartment. Good night."

As Scabbard disappeared into the darkness, the people there could only swallow heavily for a few moments before turning to the possessed puppet.

"So…" Minato groaned as he somehow manage to pick himself up. "I apparently missed a lot, huh?"

Sarutobi sighed as he turned to the spirit of his successor. "And then some Minato. And then some."

o. o. o.

A/N:

OOOOKKKKKAAAAAAYYYYYYY!

That is the end of the chapter!

Thank you T-Biggz! My new Beta for helping me out on this project!

As for the reviews… I was kind of expecting more from the last chapter after the HUGE amounts I got from the two before it, but alas, it was not to be. I am still hoping to be around 200 reviews by the end of chapter 20 to give me a 10 review per chapter average, but of course it's up to you guys, not me… so do what I say and review! I am in control of your miiiiiiiinnnnnnddddd.

Please?

Anyways. Yeah. Fight scenes. This was my first REAL attempt at doing some well-developed fight scenes. Naruto vs. Sasuke was fun and easy for me to write. It just seemed to flow together to me.

Naruto vs. Scabbard… not so much. The thing is, when you are writing a battle between a super powered trickster and a super powered genius… it gets a bit hard to figure out where you should draw the line. Yes, Naruto did win without getting hit, but let me remind you that Scabbard is not made for high speed combat or against power hitters unless he can do more of his own tricks. Mid, long range, yes, he is indeed a beast, but his limitations at close ranged combat have proven to be his downfall against… pretty much everyone else in the family.

I apologize for the lack of Hinata in this chapter, but I had to develop Scabbard's character somewhat, as well as put in the fight scenes. HOWEVER, the genin exams are next, so we can finally get to the plot! YAY! And then Gai meets Ghost. Oh, the fun we shall have…

Oh yeah, almost forgot.

Small art contest to anyone who wants to participate. I'm looking for people who are decent at art to make drawings of my OCs. Any of the characters are fine as long as the picture is of decent quality and it's not pornographic… or close enough that it doesn't even matter at that point. The winners will, I don't know, get cameos in my story as some of the apprentices that my characters have had over the years. You can make up your own character if you want, but they have to be within reason. 2 main powers and a couple of side skills (like medicinal knowledge or computer hacking) at the most. Otherwise, your character is left in my hands… and do you REALLY want that?

So.

NEW POLL!

I want to know when you guys go on this site so I know when to update to get the most hits, and thus, reviews. I will still only update during the afternoon or night, but I really want your input on this.

Until next time children! Don't feed the Yao Guai!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 18

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you think I copied something from another fic, it depends. A small fact or trick probably is copied by accident, but big changes or powers are all me.

To all who ask, the Demon Chicken of Doom is NOT based off of Clucky from the Naruto Abridged series… although I'm still kicking myself for not seeing the connection earlier.

All my character's powers and abilities were made WAY before I planned on making any fanfic of any kind. For those who think that my characters are over powered… let me remind you that they have traveled to many MANY universes before this one… including the Bleach universe and DBZ universe, and held their own, so of course they will be powerful compared to those in the Narutoverse, but they will not be stepping in to any of the major fights unless it's for the plot's convenience, so stop complaining.

Once again. All my characters have three actual powers to themselves, tops. Anything else they have was either the result of experimenting, a buttload of practice, or a weapon of some sort. Remember, they get around a lot, they are over 2500 years old, and they get bored VERY easily.

Oh yeah, for future reference, I consider harem style stories to be one person with 3+ significant others. 2 in my opinion is indeed odd, but not quite enough to register as harem material, so please stop complaining to me about Ghost getting both Hana and Anko.

So yeah, Kishi is gay for Sasuke, Madara finally (?) going to reveal his plan to the five Kage, Zetsu isn't dead weight in a fight after all, and apparently the Mizukage has two bloodlines. Meh. Who cares, it's not my story… kinda… I think…

o. o. o.

Naruto yawned with his eyes half closed and his head on his desk as he listened to Iruka lecturing on and on about boring stuff again. He wanted to get to the testing already, dammit. Next to him, Hinata was having trouble not doing the same as she nodded her head more frequently than a priest. Both of them were silently pondering what to do to Shikamaru, who they could swear was smirking at them as he slept comfortably on his arms. Behind them, Scabbard silently scratched down notes, making observations, and thanking all that was holy that he could quietly conduct some small experiments, mainly ones that were on a microscopic level, without alerting anyone to relieve him of the sheer boredom of this class.

Chōji was eating his chips like usual while sitting next to Shikamaru, with Shino sitting in front of the two quietly staring at the teacher… or sleeping. It's really hard to tell with that guy. Kiba wasn't paying attention at all as he was quietly talking to Akamaru

Sakura and Ino were still silently daydreaming about Sasuke and stripping him with their eyes, using their imaginations (A/N: haha, how cute) to fill in the spots they haven't seen yet. Said emo was still in his trademark pose, (A/N: which is also owned by Gendō Ikari in the Evangelion universe), pondering mainly about how to get stronger and how strong Naruto and his new friends actually are.

It had been one month since Scabbard had arrived and personally, Naruto and Hinata were a bit disappointed with the man. Despite his efforts to aid in their training (in which all he really did was fine tune their forms, do a few mock situation tests, and give them a few practice fights), Scabbard was consistently putting training off to improve relationships between the newly founded Ōgakari Clan and the other clans that resided in Konoha. During his month, he had established a trading deal with the Higurashi shop where the new clan would produce weapons of incredibly high grade (evident by the amount of drool coming out of Mr. Higurashi's and Tenten's mouths after testing out one of Scabbard's swords), had established a medicinal herb and powder trade with the Nara - half the reason why they want him back there is because he was constantly beating them at shōgi - , a food and diet information trade with the Akimichi, a small trade with the Aburame where he will provide information about insects and their habitats in the Elemental Nations while they provide rare chemicals and compounds that only their insects can provide - what Scabbard does with them, no one knows yet - , a similar trade was set up with the Yamanaka's and their flowers, and he gave animal biology notes and food formulas to the Inuzuka as a token of good faith. He did some other deals with the civilian merchants as well, but since he was supportive of Naruto, that was not as much as it could have been.

Naruto had toned down his skills at the academy as well. Whenever he fought against Sasuke now, he lost. Not miserably, but enough for everyone to assume that his previous win was a fluke. He continued to win almost all the time when he was put up against anyone else in the class though. Despite pointing out that Naruto was a chronic prankster and that he was constantly proving that he didn't suck so much at taijutsu anymore, the rest of the class that were idiots (which did not include Shikamaru, Shino, Hinata, and yes, Sasuke as well) just assumed that his victory over Sasuke was a one-time thing considering how obscenely odd Naruto's manner of winning was.

Speaking of Sasuke, the resident emo had been less… emo lately. Not by much, but to those who knew him best, it was a significant difference. He would occasionally answer questions when someone would ask him something, and seemed to be not as much of an asshole as before. He was also occasionally speaking to Naruto (once a week, but it's still an improvement) and occasionally challenged him to fights, but there was less tension between the two now. Whenever someone asked him about this however, he simply denied it…

Even Naruto was stumped as to what caused this remarkable change. He WAS trying occasionally to get on the Uchiha's good side, but he highly doubted that that was the reason.

It was the day of the final exams and Naruto was getting anxious. He could finally show off a little more in front of the class without getting into trouble. All the grades were in, and Naruto had managed to bring his scores up enough that his current average would have been in the upper part of the class if he hadn't been missing for three months, which resulted in him being dead last… again. Hinata decided to raise her grades a bit as well. She wasn't at the top of the class, but she was doing well enough to relieve some of the pressure her clan had been giving her lately.

All the main tests had been given out and Naruto had done fairly well on pretty much all of them except for the genjutsu one. No matter what Kurenai taught him, the poor boy would NEVER be able to make a proper illusion aside from the ones required for the replacement technique to save his life … which, being a ninja and all, would probably happen occasionally. Iruka FINALLY finished his long speech and had started to call people up to test them on the clone technique. Naruto dozed off as one by one, his classmates passed the test like last time.

"Naruto-kun." Hinata whispered. "Are you sure you want to do this? Iruka sensei already knows about your mastery of the Shadow Clone technique, you don't have to let everyone know about it…"

Naruto smiled as he quietly responded. "It's okay, Hinata-chan. Everyone already knows I've had some special training. This will only fill in the blanks as long as I make them think that this is the only other thing I can do…"

"Hinata Hyūga." Iruka called out, temporarily stalling the conversation. "If you could please demonstrate your clone technique…"

Naruto sighed as Hinata walked down the steps to pass the test, her now slightly longer than shoulder length hair swaying slightly with each step. Naruto's own hair had grown to a decent length as well, almost down to his shoulders, but still maintaining its notorious spikiness. He had managed to pull the back of his hair into a short ponytail, but the front was still too short to do anything with at the moment… although he did note that it did make him look A LOT like his father at the moment, proven by the occasional whispers that he heard behind his back via transformed clone. According to him, roughly two-thirds were rather pissed or unnerved that he was starting to look like their deceased hero while the other third either consisted of people who actually supported him or still were deciding where they stood.

As for why he looked like the Fourth in the first place… well the rumor mill had a large number of reasons as to how this could happen, many of which involved the Kyūbi, and of course there were a few that believed that Naruto was actually related to the Fourth somehow, but of course, no one tends to believe the truth when there are so many other attractive possibilities out there.

Speaking of Minato Namikaze, the legendary Fourth's time in the real world was rather brief. While he explained pretty much everything he had told Naruto when he'd gone 8 tails against Pain to the Third, Kakashi and Shikamaru, he had spent most of the time with a quiet Naruto, telling him stories about his past and pranks his mother pulled on him. Naruto understood that his father would not be able to contact him after he went back into his subconscious, so he simply asked some questions that were on his mind then. They were pretty much what anyone would expect from a person in Naruto's position: what was Kushina like, did he have any other relatives, what were they like, do you have any funny blackmail material I can use against some of your old friends, and of course, how the fuck could you have messed up my filter seal so badly. By the time Minato was at the end of the long line of explanations, the time he had inside the puppet was nearly up, so the two simply talked some more until the father was re-absorbed into his son. Since then, Naruto had managed to increase his chakra control even more, reaching low jōnin level, something he suspected was the result of his father screwing around in his head… a prospect that disturbed him… not that his father was inside him screwing around with his head, but that he wasn't worried that his father was screwing around with his head.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Iruka called out, waking Naruto from his daze. Naruto turned to see Hinata blushing slightly with her forehead protector around her neck.

"Looks good on you." Naruto whispered, causing Hinata to blush even more.

Before the shy girl could respond Naruto heard Scabbard swear in a tired manner behind him. Naruto was about to ask him what the matter was when Iruka spoke up again. "Naruto U… zu… ma, who the hell are you?" Iruka said incredulously as he pointed right above Naruto's head. Naruto looked up to see Ghost hanging from the ceiling on some ninja wire a couple of feet above his head, grinning like the idiot everyone knows he is.

"Youuuu cannot see meeeeee, for IIIII am a niiiiiinnnnjaaaaaaaa." Said long haired psycho squealed in a high pitched voice as the wires stuck in the ceiling started to give way. Everyone looked up at said section of the building momentarily before Ghost shrugged and disconnected himself from the wires. "BellyflopofPAIIIIIIIINNNNN!" He shouted as he flattened a screaming Naruto against the floor, causing everyone in the room to sweat drop.

"Damn it, Ero-nii! Get the hell off me!" Naruto shouted as he squirmed underneath a cackling Ghost.

"You've been getting soft. You would have easily gotten away from something like that before I left. Anko hasn't been assaulting you enough." The man giggled as he pinned the boy underneath him as the entire classroom stared at the two in shock.

Iruka managed to snap out of his stupor first and was about to say something when Scabbard walked over to his brother and zapped him with more than a few volts of electricity. "You really do need to learn how to control yourself more, brother." Scabbard sighed to his smoking and heavily burnt sibling as Naruto crawled from underneath him unharmed. "You're getting as bad as Shadow lately."

"I. Regret. Nothing." Ghost breathed out in smoke clouds from the floor.

"Um… not to be rude but…" Iruka started, gaining everyone's attention, "WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" The man yelled while using his big head jutsu.

Big mistake.

"You, "Ghost slowly turned his head to the teacher in a quiet and serious tone, scaring everyone in the room except Scabbard who had already figured out what his deranged brother was about to do next. Before anyone could react, Ghost had practically warped to Iruka's side, hugging his legs as if he was in love. "Must teach me the ways of the big head! Train me, oh holy master!" Everyone face faulted.

"Wh-What?" Iruka asked in a daze.

"Ghost wants you to teach him how to use the big head jutsu." Scabbard summarized with a tick mark on his head. "My suggestion is to just tell him and get it over with as quickly as possible. He won't leave you alone unless you do, and something as stupid and random as getting a giant head is synonymous to striking gold with this idiot."

"Awwww. You DO care about my feelings." Ghost teased.

"I just don't want to hear you moaning about not having a giant head for a month." Scabbard countered.

"Does that mean you finished making the new place?"

"Of course I did. I made it two days after I got here. It's near the Namikaze estate."

"Sweet."

"As much as I would love to hear about your new home." Iruka said sweetly. "Could you possibly GET OFF MY LEGS?"

Ghost smirked. "Only if you teach me how to use that giant head tech." Scabbard and Iruka sighed in defeat.

"Fine. Come by my place later tonight and I'll give you the scroll."

"Yays! I'm gonna gets me's a giant head!"

Scabbard zapped Ghost again from a distance, scaring all the children in the classroom. "You're stepping REAAAALLY close to the fangirl line, brother."

Ghost blew out some smoke. "This is why you can't get a girlfriend Scab. You have no sense of humor."

"Forgive me if I enjoy maintaining my sanity."

"Maybe later."

"By the way…"

"Yes?"

"Any potential head start you may have had is long gone."

"Eh?"

"Ghost!" Hana screamed as she ran through the front door of the classroom.

Crash. Anko came in through the closed windows of the classroom and landed right next to the trapped teacher and fried immortal. "Massage!" She yelled as she grabbed him by his burnt clothes.

"NOW!" They said in unison.

"Sis?" Kiba asked, a bit scared.

"You traitor!" Ghost yelled at Scabbard who was giving the peace sign and sticking out his tongue while still somehow giving off a bored look. Ghost was quickly mauled by the two women and tied up with several spools of ninja wire and a few dozen of Anko's summons. It made quite a sight for the rest of the students.

"Thanks for the heads up Scabbard." Hana said as she took out a small radio set from her jacket.

Scabbard bowed his head. "Anytime. Torturing family members is a sort of eternal game for us."

"We'll be taking this." Anko said as she ordered her summons to drag Ghost behind her.

"I hope you did well Kiba." Hana added. "Mom would be pissed if you screwed up this year, especially since…"

"Oi." Anko interrupted. "It's still a secret."

"Yeah, Hana. You should know better by now." Ghost chided while looking up between her legs with blood dripping from his nose.

Crunch. All three of Hana's triplets appeared out of nowhere and bit Ghost on the head and face.

"OH GOD THE FACE! THE BLOOD!"

"Be careful with the glasses." Scabbard sighed in a disinterested tone as he went back to his seat. "It takes a while for me to fix them."

"We know." Hana said cheerfully as she walked out the door.

"You have a lot of work ahead of you, slave…" Anko laughed sadistically as Ghost wept.

Ghost was crying as they dragged him down the hallway. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO hey a ryō OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The remaining members of the classroom minus Scabbard sweat dropped.

"Is he always like that?" Iruka asked in a dazed tone.

"A majority of the time, yes." Scabbard confirmed. "Although I must admit, he was a tad bit more energetic than usual. Normally this level of… aloofness is what I would expect from my sister Shadow." He looked at the nearby clock. "It appears that you are almost out of time. I would suggest finishing up the exams promptly."

"Ah!" Iruka exclaimed in surprise. "Right! Of course! Naruto, show me three clones!"

Naruto groaned as he walked up to his teacher. He knew that he still couldn't make a decent clone to save his life, but no one else knew that, so he simply make several shadow clones without any hand seals. "Tah dah." He said.

Iruka smirked as he recognized the shadow clones. "Without hand seals. Impressive."

"Hey. I do practice a lot you know. So where's my shiny new forehead protector." Naruto asked with a smirk before remembering that last time he got Iruka's forehead protector.

Iruka smiled as he tossed one of the protectors on the table next to him to the blonde. "Congratulations, Naruto. Wear it with pride."

o. o. o.

"So you really studied under that freak for three months?" Ino asked avidly, trying to be the first to know all she could about the mysterious Ghost while the class waited for their parents to come and pick him up.

Naruto sighed. "Yeah. Ero-nii is really weird, but he knows what he's doing most of the time when it comes to training."

"Does that include the cows?"

Naruto disappeared into a corner of the academy's courtyard in the fetal position. "The cows. THE COWS!"

Ino sweat dropped. "Okay, okay. I won't talk about the cows. But, is he strong? What can he do?"

Naruto quickly recovered from his mad cow flashback. "I'm not allowed to tell anyone what Ero-nii can do, but I can say that he's really strong. Even the old man pays attention to him when he's serious."

"The Hokage thinks he's strong? The guy who was just screaming like a little girl as he was being dragged down the hall by Anko and Kiba's sister?"

"FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!" Shouted Ghost as he dashed down the street while being chased by Anko and Hana.

"Get back here!" Hana roared in her transformed state.

"Our backs still need pampering, slave!" Anko yelled as she summoned several huge snakes.

"I am not a toy! I am a human being!"

"You're going to be whipped after I'm done with you!" Anko yelled as they turned the corner.

"Pretty much." Naruto sighed, completely ignoring what just happened behind him to a sweat dropping Ino.

"I highly doubt that that idiot is as strong as you say he is."

Naruto shrugged. "Ero-nii is strong, whether you believe it or not Ino. Being an idiot has nothing to do with it, although it is a good way to hide his skills from others without drawing any attention to himself. More so if it's how he normally acts."

"By that logic, you would be as strong as Iruka-sensei." Ino scoffed, before remembering that Naruto had a healing factor now and that he had kage-level chakra reserves.

Naruto sighed. "Maybe later, but I'm still a kid even if I'm a ninja now. I still have plenty of time to get stronger" He smirked. "I'm still gonna be Hokage one day though."

"Naruto." Scabbard called with Iruka next to him. "We're going to Ichiraku's to celebrate your graduation. My treat."

"Sorry Ino. Ramen calls."

As Naruto dashed towards his two teachers, Ino couldn't help but wonder about the fellow blonde. She was curious about what he had said, and had a hunch that he was hiding something.

o. o. o.

"Do you really have to leave so soon?"

"Yeah. Scab said that the council wanted to test our skills in the field a bit."

"But a two month long S-rank assassination mission? Even I don't get those. I know I shouldn't ask, but who's the target?"

"Some rich fuck surrounded by a bunch of Ame jōnin bodyguards 24/7. Apparently the prick has a tendency to kidnap women and sell them as slaves… I'll be done and back in a week."

"Are you serious?!"

"Heh. I do have other obligations to take care of, you know, and I AM good enough to steal the panties that you were wearing from under you."

"Give me back my underwear, you pervert!"

"You know you love it."

"Just be careful."

"Yeah, those council bastards are always up to something."

"Don't worry. I'm not known as the Cursed Memory back home for nothing. By the time I'm back, the only evidence they'll have that I was there is a single dead body."

o. o. o.

"I see you have passed Hinata." Hiashi said as he looked at his daughter's protector while they rested in Hiashi's private study.

"Yes father." Hinata responded quietly. Hiashi took his time to analyze his daughter.

"… There will be a great change in the Hyūga clan soon. One I believe you will be very grateful for." The leader of the clan said carefully.

Hinata's eyes shot up in shock and curiosity. "What…?"

Hiashi raised his hand to silence his daughter. "I cannot tell you any more than that. For now, I need you to trust me and follow my instructions in order for this to work as smoothly as possible. …do you trust me?"

Hinata stalled. This was the most her father had ever trusted her since her mother died. Her old self would have just faltered and not said anything, too afraid to give an answer, but she was stronger now. Looking into her father's eyes, she could tell that he was concerned about her well-being and what she thought of him.

For the first time in years, she saw that her father actually cared about her.

"Yes father." She said with conviction. "I trust you."

Hiashi smiled peacefully as he took out a medium sized storage scroll from his robes. "Thank you, my daughter. You do not know how much that means to me. Now, this is what I want you to do…"

o. o. o.

Naruto arrived back at his apartment alone. Ghost had disappeared and Scabbard had been living at the house that he had made in a day on the property that he had gained for his family. The building was a nice and simple, but large two stories, not including the attic and the MASSIVE basement, with enough bedrooms for everyone in their apparent family and for several dozen guests. Six bathrooms, three living rooms, two kitchens, and a HUGE training area underneath the house (think of those training areas that Urahara from Bleach makes.). Scabbard offered Naruto a room to stay in after the two groups gained some more favor with the village and the council. Personally, it was a bit much for his tastes, but he didn't say so knowing that life in that building would be more welcome than in a run-down apartment.

As he took his late night shower and got ready for bed, Naruto noticed a large package on his bed with a note on top. Curious, Naruto looked at the envelope first, opening it, and reading its contents. He smirked. "Heh. Ero-nii, you didn't have to get me anything for my birthday, even if you are a month late…"

Naruto opened the package and took out a portion of his gift and held it out in front of his face, which was bearing a quickly growing smile.

"…But I'll be damned if I didn't say that this kicks ass though."

o. o. o.

Sasuke was training in his clan compound again. Despite how much he practiced and tried to get those words out of his head, he couldn't seem to do so.

" _If your brother matters so much to you, then he will appear regardless of whether you search for him or not. If that is the case, do not rush to an early grave… and become strong, not powerful. Power without strength to support it will only corrupt the mind of the user."_

" _You are supposedly a genius. Tell me, would any child of 8 years of age, regardless of birth, come out mentally unscathed from the horrors of a professionally executed psychological attack?"_

" _Would you rather kill your brother out of petty revenge, or do so to prevent another situation like yours from occurring?"_

" _There is more to your family's unfortunate demise than what you know… as well as your brother's sudden mass fratricide."_

" _Stay near Uzumaki. He is unknowingly connected to your brother. If you do, your paths will eventually cross again, and I assure you, you will eventually learn how to become strong if you stay by him. The first step is to open yourself up a little to others…"_

"HN!" Sasuke grunted as he punched the wooden post in front of him, hard. He knew that in the past few months, Naruto had gotten stronger, and was hiding most if it from the rest of the class. He tried to spy on the blonde, but every time he did, the dobe would disappear soon after the game began. Despite this, he was spending more and more time with the idiot, and wasn't hating it as much as he thought he would.

At least he put up a better fight during their sparring matches these days… and he was of unequivocal help when he had to run away from his fangirls. That was a major plus in his books… even if he was beaten in a rather humiliating way a month earlier.

o. o. o.

Shikamaru was having trouble sleeping. The troublesome academy days were finally over. In a week he would be meeting Asuma again with Chōji and Ino and take their genin placement tests.

"Troublesome." He muttered under his breath. Even though it had been six months since he was brought back, he still didn't know how he would react when he saw his old teacher again. Having someone close to you die by having his heart stabbed via a curse made by a psychopathic religious immortal tends to leave emotional scars on a person.

Bringing himself back to speed, Shikamaru knew what he had to do. Once his team passed Asuma's test, which was all but done since he knew pretty much what was going to happen, he would finally step into the game…

o. o. o.

Kiba was partying with the rest of his family.

"Hey sis!"

"Yeah brat?"

"What's with that Ghost guy you like? He doesn't seem all that strong and he's even weirder than the dead last."

Hana laughed, a little intoxicated at the moment. "Not strong my butt! That slippery bastard could probably take on half the town and not get scratched! I can't touch the guy if he's taking me seriously! Now if he wanted to touch me…" She smirked with a slight blush on her cheeks.

"But doesn't that mean all he's good at is running away?" Kiba asked, purposefully ignoring his sister's statement.

"Pft! As if! Asshole can disappear in an instant and show up the next with a kunai in your throat before you even knew he was gone. Bastard can be painted black and thrown into a room with white walls and STILL would be able to hide from a Hyūga without any trouble at all. Even the triplets know that the pervert is impossible to catch when he doesn't want to." In response, the grey triplets next to her nodded in unison.

Kiba huffed. "Then why did he let you and that crazy snake chick tie him up and drag him halfway across town?"

Hana shrugged. "He thinks it's fun. It's boring to be untouchable all the time, so he slips up a lot to make things more interesting. I'm not complaining. It makes things easier when I want a massage from him. Maaaaasssssaaaaaggggeeeee…"

"And we lost her." Kiba deadpanned as Akamaru barked in agreement.

o. o. o.

1 week later:

Everyone in the academy was taking quick peeks at Naruto's new look as they waited for their team assignments. Sure, they were anxious to find out who they would be teamed up with, but seeing the flying orange wonder look actually… good was just simply too interesting to pass up. Several were sure that it was one of the first signs of the apocalypse.

Naruto was dressed in dark tan semi-baggy cargo pants, black ninja shoes, which was already a good change from his usual attire, but what really had everyone's attention was his upper body attire. The blonde was wearing a slightly loose long sleeved and seemingly all black shirt underneath a thick, short sleeved hooded sweater with a high collar that held his forehead protector. The sweater itself was mostly black, but it had a giant tie-dye style fire orange spiral that encompassed the entire shirt to the middle from the front and back. All in all, he looked pretty damn good and somewhat intimidating as well… if he tried to.

Leave it to Ghost to find a way to turn orange of all colors into a decent fashion statement.

Ino couldn't believe that Naruto could actually look good for once. Sasuke was mildly impressed and made a mental note that Naruto was now less embarrassing to be around. Kiba was irritated that the dead last actually looked decent for once. Chōji, Shikamaru, Shino, and pretty much everyone else in the class were surprised that Naruto finally got a sense of fashion.

Hinata… was trying to hide the torrent of blood coming from her nose again.

"Team 7." Iruka called out, surprising half the classroom that he was already that far into the listings. "Will have Naruto Uzumaki, Sakura Haruno, and Sasuke Uchiha."

Naruto caught Sasuke giving him a quick look before pretending everyone else in the world didn't exist, both of them ignoring Sakura's victory dance and Ino's wail of rage.

Hinata looked down in disappointment. She knew that she wouldn't be paired in Naruto's team, but it still didn't make the pain any less blatant.

"Team 8 will have Hinata Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shino Aburame. Team 9 is still in circulation, so Team 10 will consist of Shikamaru Nara, Chōji Akimichi, and Ino Yamanaka. Your jōnin-sensei will arrive after lunch, so take this time to get to know your teammates better. Congratulations."

"Don't worry Hinata-chan." Naruto whispered, comforting his secret girlfriend. "We'll still be able to train together later this week." And with that, Naruto's happy-go-lucky demeanor was back in full swing. "Oi! Teme! Sakura-chan! You guys wanna eat at Ichiraku's for lunch? My treat!"

"Naruto you idiot!" Sakura yelled. "Why would Sasuke-kun want to…"

"Sure." Sasuke muttered as he got up from his seat, scaring everyone paying attention. Said emo looked around in confusion. "What?"

"Not… just one… but two coherent words." Naruto breathed out in awe. "It's a miracle." Sasuke noticed several dozen of his fangirls looking at him with hearts in their eyes.

Scabbard was lucky as hell that he decided not to come that day.

"Damnit, dobe. Do you want the stupid ramen or not?" Sasuke growled, inching away from the growing mob of maturity lacking girls.

Naruto sighed. "Fine, fine. Hey fangirls!" All of Sasuke's followers turned to Naruto in rage as the blonde took out an envelope filled with pictures. Naruto took one out, showing a still frame of Sasuke with his shirt off and covered in sweat. Sasuke was not amused. "I have plenty of copies of pictures of the bastard without clothes and covered in sweat. Going price is 1000 ryō per picture!"

The chaos that ensued is on a level that mere words cannot put into context, so let's just say Naruto got mobbed, badly.

"Hurry up and let's get out of here!" Naruto whispered as he dragged a surprised Sasuke out of the room.

"How?"

"Replacement. Duh."

Sasuke growled as he matched Naruto's pace. "You do know that the replacement technique takes a lot of chakra to do, right? It's the main reason why most ninja can only do it only a couple of times in a fight…"

"Uuuh." Naruto stalled, obviously not knowing such an important fact. Now that he thought about it, it was kind of odd that such a useful technique was used so sparingly by the general shinobi population.

"Dobe…" Sasuke sighed. Regardless of how much Naruto had improved, he always seemed to regress into that bumbling loud idiot that they all know.

"You want free food or not?"

"There they are! Get them!" Shouted one of the fangirls searching for the two as they exited the academy.

"Damn!" Sasuke cursed.

"Quick! Escape pattern B-27! Rendezvous in 15 minutes at the predetermined destination!" Naruto yelled as he dashed to the nearest alleyway. Sasuke nodded.

"Agreed." He said as he dashed towards a large crowd of villagers. Ever since Naruto had started to help him escape from his fan girls, Sasuke had been getting better at his transformation and replacement techniques. As soon as he was deep enough in the crowd, the last Uchiha transformed himself into another random middle aged man, effectively hiding himself from his assaulters. He then made straight to Ichiraku's, which he would admit with enough coaxing was one of his most preferred places to eat at. The mellow atmosphere and the people who treated him like anyone else was a welcome change from the rest of the village kissing the ground he stepped on. It was nice to be treated as a normal kid every once in a while.

He was still going to burn those photos that Naruto had the first chance he got though.

o. o. o.

"WHERE THE HELL IS HE?" Yelled a rather irritated pink headed girl.

It had been almost two hours since the last of the assigned teams had left with their jōnin-sensei, yet lo and behold, Sasuke, Naruto and Sakura were stuck in a room waiting for the legendary cyclops to finally make his appearance.

"There's only one jōnin that would possibly be this late." Sighed Naruto, who had personally hoped that Kakashi would have had the decency to at least be only an hour and a half late this time. "Kakashi Hatake. The Copy Ninja."

Sasuke looked at Naruto in a questioning manner. "You mean that guy whose leg you were clinging onto when you first got back? Why's that, dobe?"

"Yeah, baka. How do you know that our teacher isn't just held up or something?"

Naruto groaned. He had a lot of work ahead of him when it came to Sakura. "First of all Sakura-chan, our teacher is a jōnin. The best of the best. There's no way that he or she would be held up unless it was something important, in which case there would have been more late jōnin aside from ours, or we would have at least gotten word of it by now. As for how I know it's going to be Kakashi-sensei, well, I've met him before and I can tell you that the guy is ALWAYS late… unless it's something very important or Ero-nii threatens him with blackmail material… again."

"Sounds like you know him pretty well then." Sakura mused.

Naruto shrugged. "I know a thing or two about him. He is in particular one of the strongest shinobi in the village, so that's a good thing. Plus he's also the only person in the village aside from chicken butt here that has, or will have the Sharingan." _''Cept Danzō, but like hell I'm going to tell anyone that at the moment.'_

"Stop insulting Sasuke-kun, baka!" Sakura shouted as she charged forward to pummel Naruto.

"How?" Sakura stopped as the object of her uncomfortably large affection spoke in an uncomfortable tone. It was obvious that he was disturbed at this new piece of information. Sasuke glared coldly at the blonde as he walked up to him. "How does he have the Sharingan? Only people in the Uchiha clan can get a Sharingan, and…"

"Whoa! Whoa! Don't kill the messenger!" Naruto retreated with his hands up. "I don't know why he has it either! When I asked him before he got really quiet and said it was a long story, so it's probably a bad memory for him. Anyway, it's probably why he was picked to be our sensei in the first place considering that you're… you know."

Sasuke stopped in his charge to contemplate what Naruto had just said. Apparently, the dobe knew about his current family status and about his bloodline as well. He knew that it wasn't really a big secret inside the village, but he was pretty damn sure that no one in his age group was privy to what had happened to him five years ago.

"… so you know about…. that?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Pretty much. I was surprised that you went through all that and still came out as a somewhat productive member of society. It explains why you have that massive stick up your ass most of the time. Personally I think that you are going a bit too far into the whole 'revenge' thing for my tastes, BUT…" Naruto emphasized to prevent Sasuke from interrupting him, "but, it's your choice. I just hope you don't do something that even **I** would consider stupid, teme ..." Naruto looked at the clock. "On that note, I believe that I haven't filled my daily quota of stupid just yet. The bastard passed the two hours late mark. He knows the consequences of such foolishness." Naruto chuckled evilly as he took out a bag full of random items and walked towards the door to the classroom, leaving a shocked Sasuke and Sakura behind him in his wake.

"…Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked hesitantly as they watched Naruto set up several large water balloons in a special launcher that he rigged to the door of the room. "What was that all about? What does that baka know about you? I didn't even know he knew words like productive or society, let alone how to use them in a single sentence."

Sasuke glared at the newly instated kunoichi, making her fidget a bit under his eyes. "…The dobe's been holding out on us." He growled, Naruto's words of advice still echoing in his head. "… And I intend to find out what he's been hiding."

o. o. o.

Sarutobi was sitting in front of the large group of jōnin that had just tested their genin (minus Kakashi of course). "Report."

"Team 1 failed." "Team 2 failed." … "Team 6 failed." (A/N: Yay rushing!) There was a slight pause for Kakashi, who everyone expected to not be there anyways, but they were polite about it.

"Team 8..." Kurenai Yūhi announced with a confident grin, "Passed." She was happy that her team passed, because of all the veteran jōnin were muttering that a rookie jōnin should not be taking on genin so quickly. She was eager to shove their words down their throat and gloat about it. Having Hinata on her team was a plus as well. She had started to see the girl as a younger sister and was starting to miss her since she started training with Ghost and Naruto all the time.

"Team 10." Asuma Sarutobi said lazily. "Passed."

… "Team 14 failed." "Team 15 failed."

Sarutobi sighed. "All right then. If that is all, I will ask you to send your letters of recommendation or failure to the families of the children and…"

"Yo!" Kakashi said as he walked in the door. Normally, this wouldn't have gotten a reaction from everyone there as they expected him to be late, but the wonders of being covered in pink paint with sparkles and heart shaped glitter has a miraculous effect on people.

"Um…" Stalled Asuma.

"What…?" Kurenai asked incredulously.

"Naruto gave you your punishment for being late again, didn't he?" Sarutobi deadpanned.

Kakashi chuckled as he scratched the back of his head. "Yeah. I was a bit late to the meeting, and Naruto has this habit of pulling pranks on me if I'm over two hours late."

"…"

"…"

"It won't come off, will it?" Sarutobi deadpanned.

Kakashi and everyone else sweat dropped. "No, Hokage-sama. This is the result of me being late _yesterday._ I had to spend the entire day under a transformation because I couldn't get it off. The only reason why I'm not still under one is because everyone would notice and ask me about it…"

"Well, it's your own fault…" Spoke up a lazy voice from behind the Hokage. Spinning around, the old man saw Ghost reading a book while lying down on the ground right behind him. Needless to say, everyone in the room was momentarily shocked that the man was there and no one had sensed his presence. "You know how pissed he gets when you're late." He looked at the Copy Nin for a moment before grinning evilly, scaring everyone in the room. "Oooooohhh, he used the SPECIAL prank paint… heheheheh." Ghost then started reading out loud from the book he was reading, which contained such graphically X rated material that this chapter would get cut from the website in record time. Everyone in the room gawked at him, in shock that he would do something as rude and profound as what he had just done, in front of the Hokage no less… who was currently bleeding from his nose at an incredible pace …"

"You… YOU…!" Kurenai started as Ghost laughed.

"Might want to look at Kakashi first before you finish that sentence." Indeed, said Copy-Nin, who was before simply covered in pink paint and had more sparkles on him than an entire school's worth of middle school girls, was now all of those, plus covered in the word 'pervert' wherever the paint reached in bright florescent rainbow colored letters. "That paint was specially made through seals and other methods to display a message when the medium it is on fulfills a special qualification, and it's a bitch to get off if you don't know the correct method of removing it. In Kakashi's case, it displays the word pervert repeatedly whenever he is aroused." Ghost took in a deep breath through his nose. "You smell that? That's the smell of utter humiliation and… yes… a dash of victory as well. It's almost as good as waffles…"

Sarutobi sighed, ignoring the rising killing intent from a good portion of the group behind him. "Not to be rude Ghost, but aren't you supposed to be on a mission? One that was supposed to take two months?"

Ghost yawned, taking out a scroll from his coat. "And miss screwing around with the new batch of minions? I think not. Here's the mission report, along with account information, witness reports, and some artifacts that I thought you might find interesting that I found in his bank safe and secret stash. I didn't know if you wanted his head or not, so I just cut off a clump of his hair and a vial of his blood and stored it in there as well. Personally, cutting off the guy's head would give me away to anyone in the area, so this is how I'll do it from now on for missions like this."

The room was silent. Sarutobi slowly took the scroll from Ghost. "…You do realize that you quite possibly just set the record for quickest assassination mission, correct?"

Ghost shrugged as he got back up and stretched a little. "Hey, I wasn't stretching the truth when I said that we consider ourselves professionals. I just happen to be obscenely good at this kind of thing. You saw how Anko reacted when you asked her about my skills."

o. o. o.

Flashback:

Anko roughly grabbed Ghost's privates in an instant, preventing the helpless man from escaping. "You see this? This is MINE. This is where my future children will be coming from. No one is getting near this without MY permission… except maybe Hana…"

"Can I have my boy parts back please?" Ghost wept.

"Maybe later."

o. o. o.

"I swear I can still feel her hand crushing my…"

"Moving on," Grumbled Sarutobi, "Kakashi, what is the status of your team?"

"Feh." Grumbled one of the nameless jōnin there. "Why are you even bothering to ask, Hokage-sama? This is Kakashi we're talking about! Of course they…"

"Passed." Kakashi replied cheerfully, temporarily forgetting that he currently looks like a pre-school art project gone horribly wrong and shocking everyone there. "With flying colors."

"Really?" Asked Sarutobi.

"Well, of course they did." Voiced another rather mentally impaired jōnin. "Uchiha-sama is on the team. He must have led their way to victory and…"

"Actually, it was Naruto who discovered the secret to the test." Kakashi answered in a carefree manner, shocking everyone. "And even after he found out, he explained his findings to his team mates in such a way that they would figure it out for themselves before he would finish his discovery, slightly increasing their chances of working together even more. Afterwards, they came up with some decent plans to try to get the bells away from me, and they would have succeeded too if their time didn't run out at the last second. Naruto is getting quite proficient with his shadow clones these days…"

There was a chorus of grumblings and muttering from the unmentionable jōnin in the room at this release of new information. Kakashi and Sarutobi couldn't help but remember that the last time this event had passed and Kakashi had mentioned Naruto's skill with his shadow clones, the general reaction was a bit more… radical.

Sarutobi nodded. "Well, it's about time you let a team pass, Kakashi. I was starting to worry that you didn't like kids…"

"It explains why he prefers to read porn rather than try and get a girlfriend." Muttered Ghost, causing more than a few chuckles in the room.

Kakashi's eye was twitching. "Be that as it may, it's not like I could get a date with all this… paint on me anyway…"

"You could if the girl had a decent sense of humor." Ghost sniggered.

"I would prefer a future spouse of mine to be attractive and sane. Her having a sense of humor as well would make me greedy and picky."

"No kidding. It's almost impossible to find one that has all three characteristics these days." Ghost chuckled, gaining the ire of all the women in the room while indirectly torturing the men into trying not to laugh or confirm his statement.

Sarutobi sighed. "I have heard enough for today. Before there is a mass lynching of my male ninja, I am closing this meeting. Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Ghost, you four stay here. The rest of you may leave." The five in the room waited as the rest of the room emptied out. As the door closed, the old man sighed again. "Now that everyone else is gone, we can discuss the future training of this year's new genin…"

o. o. o.

Shino Aburame was a prime example of his clan. Quiet, logical, observant, calm, and loyal to those who have earned his trust. Born and raised by his family, he was taught to know and learn everything he should about a subject before coming to any sort of final conclusion, which is why their clan was on such good terms with the Nara clan, who were well known for their intellect and logical skills. It was less-well known that the two families had an annual shōgi tournament in order to better relations between them and to challenge themselves intellectually. The Nara's had yet to lose any of the top three spots so far, but lucky for everyone the Aburame knew humility, and were optimistic that they would have their time in the light at some point in the future. However, Shino did have one main weakness that proved to set him apart from his family if provoked enough.

Curiosity. Shino was naturally inquisitive, and while he did believe that everyone was entitled to their own secrets, he also believed that being more informed about less known subjects would yield more interesting results… which was somewhat odd considering that he was an unnaturally quiet person.

The point was that very little escaped Shino. He was the first person to start noticing the changes in Hinata and Shikamaru when they started to train. At the time, he just assumed that they had finally started to push themselves and just didn't want anyone to know yet, so he simply observed from a distance during class and left them alone.

He did however, start to get suspicious that something was happening when Naruto came back to school. His chakra levels were FAR beyond what they should have been, but what was more surprising to him was that he paid Sakura little to no attention. Naruto was constantly trying to get the pink headed girl's affection for the past three years, yet now he paid her little to no mind at all. He then remembered that the time he left was also roughly when Hinata and Shikamaru started to change and get stronger as well, including the appearance of the stranger that his father had occasionally talked one night as he came back from a council meeting. Not only that, but Naruto's academic performance in pretty much all fields had skyrocketed. Despite being the technical dead last of the class, Shino had no doubt that Naruto was as strong as Iruka. He could tell that the blonde was playing around with the Uchiha the entire time, and more so with everyone else he was put up against, however he did believe that Shikamaru and Hinata were holding back far more than he expected as well from what he had observed… Combining that with the rumors and the treatment he had seen the blonde undergo, and Shino was just about to break the Aburame code of live and let live to find out what the fuck was going on around the hyperactive prankster.

His mind really started to turn when he noticed that Hinata and Naruto were occasionally talking to each other and keeping each other awake during Iruka's lectures. Shino was certain that Naruto never paid Hinata the right time of day before, but now the two were occasionally giving each other secret messages and looks throughout the rest of the school year. His insects have even informed him that there was a high level of pheromones coming from the pair, indicating that they were or were on the verge of becoming mates… yet they did not show any real evidence of it otherwise, pretending as if they were the same as they were several months prior to the present.

Then there was Scabbard. To say Shino was scared of the man was an understatement. He was positively terrified of the man. The levels of energy that he naturally emitted from his body was enough to send his insects into a frenzy just by being somewhat nearby. He had been near the Hokage before and was well aware of his chakra reserves, he had even managed to get his insects near Naruto after his transformation with enough coaxing, but Scabbard was on a whole new level. It took several weeks for Shino's insects to get used to the man's presence, but he could never get within 6 feet of the man before his insects' rampaging became unbearable and he had to move away. And yet, Naruto could talk to the man like he was perfectly normal.

Ever since Scabbard had shown up, Shino had thrown privacy out the window and had started to investigate his recently empowered classmates … with less than adequate results. The insects that he stuck on Naruto were quickly killed, as the blonde seemed to wield his chakra in such large quantities that they literally popped due to ingesting too much chakra. The insects on Hinata did not fare better, as they too seemed to have been killed by large chakra releases. Shikamaru on the other hand seemed to be a dead end, as the insects on him only told him that the shadow user trained his chakra control in secret fairly frequently and was playing shōgi more often. Scabbard was out of the picture since his insects were avoiding him like the plague… ironic. Shino was starting to get frustrated with his lack of information when a new potential lead made his appearance.

Ghost literally popped out of nowhere. While everyone else was pondering how Ghost and Scabbard were related, Shino was wondering how the hell Ghost got into his position completely undetected. The man had practically materialized out of thin air, chaos and all.

Shino had managed to get a few insects on the man, luckily after he was electrocuted by his brother twice, and was hoping to FINALLY get some information from the man… only to almost scream in frustration when he later found out that there was so much hormones and pheromones surrounding Ghost at one point that his insects literally had heart attacks and died soon afterwards. (A/N: Shino… You are one of my favorite characters, dude. Unfortunately for you, it is for exactly that reason that I am messing with your head so much. I hope you can OH GOD IT'S A GIANT PLAGUE! AAAAHHHHHHH!)

During the week long break after the test, Shino vowed to himself that he would stop trying to investigate his classmate's lives with such underhanded tactics, and that he would ask them on what had happened when the time was right, somewhat hoping that one of them would be on his team. His prayers were answered when he was teamed up with Hinata and Kiba.

Now all he needed to do was find a way to ask the Hyūga his questions in private, which was rather difficult considering Kiba was still in the throes of early puberty and still didn't get the hint that neither Hinata nor Kurenai-sensei liked him that way…

While he didn't know what the girl could do, the Aburame was damn sure that Hinata was not a person that one should annoy or push, and judging from the tick mark that was constantly growing behind her head, Kiba might want to reconsider his future career options… and sex.

o. o. o.

"Hey, dobe." Sasuke growled as the newly formed Team 7 waited in training grounds 82 for some sort of important meeting. "Where did you learn that clone technique? Those weren't normal clones…"

Naruto sighed. "For the last time, teme, I'm not allowed to tell you. And even if I did, I'm still not going to teach it to you. You don't have enough chakra to do it yet, and knowing you, you would try to make as many as I can as soon as I teach it to you anyways."

"Naruto you idiot! Just tell him how to do the technique already! Sasuke is better than you anyways! Right, Sasuke?"

Sasuke glared at Sakura. "Sakura, to be perfectly honest, you are the weakest link in the group. You have little to no stamina or chakra, you only know the basic academy jutsu, and when the fighting starts, you would rather cheer me on and stare at me than do anything mildly productive. To put it frankly, you're useless as you are right now."

Sakura froze in place, shocked that her idol would say something so hurtful to her. Naruto sighed, knowing that he would have to fix this now. "While the tactless asshole over there is right, he don't have to be such a jerk about it. Sakura-chan has her good points as well, and she does have potential in areas that we frankly have little to no future in." This got both of his teammate's attention.

"Go on." Sasuke urged, curious as to where Naruto was going with this. Sakura slowly nodded, curious as to what she could be good at.

Naruto shrugged. "It's easy, really. Sakura-chan may have the least amount of chakra out of all of us, but she also has the best natural chakra control as well. Remember the inverse chakra control theory? This means that Sakura-chan is a natural for learning the best medical and genjutsu techniques, as well as detection, out there. Hell, I even heard something about the legendary Sannin Tsunade using obscene levels of chakra control to amplify her strength enough to crush boulders. If Sakura-chan somehow gets lucky enough to study under her, she would be an absolute monster on the battlefield." Naruto smirked. "Of course, Sakura-chan would have to try harder at being a better kunoichi before trying to get your heart."

Both Sasuke's and Sakura's eyes widened at Naruto's hoard of information. Sakura was wondering how Naruto knew all of this, and was subconsciously thanking him for pointing out what paths she should take later on. Sasuke on the other hand, was looking at Naruto in confusion, as the blonde seemed to be expecting him to say something in response to what he said…

Sasuke sighed, realizing what the dobe wanted. He was definitely going to regret this later. "Yeah… it's not like she has any chance getting my attention the way she is now anyway…"

Sakura's eyes widened even more. Did Sasuke just in a way admit that there may be hope? That there might be…

"Sasuke-kuuuuun!" Ino shouted as she glomped the emo from behind.

"Ino." Sakura grunted with a large amount of bloodlust.

"Yo." Called out a lazy Nara as he, Asuma and Chōji walked towards the group. Naruto noticed that Asuma was looking at him in an inquisitive manner. Said blonde smiled and nodded slightly, confirming the chain smoker's suspicions. Asuma returned the gesture as he arrived at the group.

"Hey Shika! Chōji! What's up? You guy's passed too? This your sensei?" Naruto asked in a hyper manner. Ino scoffed.

"Of course we passed, idiot! With my beauty and brains, there was no way we could have failed! I know that you guys would have passed as well with Sasuke-kun on your team. If only we were on the same team." She sighed in a dreamy tone as everyone watching sweat dropped before getting depressed. "Instead I have a slacker and the human garbage disposal while forehead gets all the luck."

"Hey losers!" Called out the resident furry, I mean Kiba, followed by the stoic Shino, the shy Hinata, and the mature Kurenai. "What are you doing here?"

"Probably the same reason you're here too, ass breath." Naruto called out, getting a few laughs from his fellow genin and jōnin. "Seems like we all passed with flying colors, and this is where the winner's circle is gathered."

"Greetings everyone." Shino said in a quiet tone, shifting his glasses.

"H-hello." Stuttered Hinata.

"Hey Kurenai." Asuma said with a wide smile while scratching the back of his head. Said woman stalled a moment before returning the greeting.

"Hey." Chōji asked curiously. "Where's your sensei, Naruto?"

Naruto sighed as Sasuke and Sakura developed tick marks. "Kakashi-sensei is always late. I'm used to it already since he was training me while I was gone, but Sakura-chan and teme are still new to it."

"What kind of sensei is he?" Sakura grumbled. "Getting lost on the road of life, my…"

"GREETINGS MY FELLOW YOUTHFUL FRIENDS!" Shouted a loud and, dare the author say it, youthful voice. The group of genin and jōnin turned to see a sight that had many of them covering their eyes for several seconds as Gai Maito jogged up, with his students behind him. (A/N: Yes, that is how his name would be rendered in English, despite every bit of common sense in my body screaming for me to do it the other way)

"Ummmm. Who the hell are they?" Kiba asked, temporarily stunned by the man's behavior and the sheer quantity of warped testosterone that was coming from his body.

"Asuma-sensei, I think my eyes are playing tricks on me." Ino said in a dazed tone. "I could have sworn that there was a second, smaller version of that weird man right behind him."

Asuma sighed. "No… your eyes aren't playing tricks on you. That is Team Gai, another genin team that was formed last year. They will be in on this new program as well."

"Yes!" Shouted the mini Gai as his two teammates distanced themselves from him. "I shall prove myself by making friends with everyone here! If I cannot do so, I will do 500 pushups!"

"YES!" Shouted the bigger twin. "And if you cannot do 500 pushups then I will run around Konoha 25 times on my hands!"

"Troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled as he closed his eyes and covered Chōji's.

"Oh boy…" Naruto mumbled, turning away from the spectacle, gaining the attention of his teammates. "I would look away if I were you." He advised.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Why?" Sakura asked.

"Lee!"

"Gai -sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

The two clones embraced themselves in the ultimate man-hug as Gai's legendary sunset genjutsu activated, mentally scarring all who were foolish enough to be watching. Little did they know that something that had never been done before was about to happen, and a new level of horror was about to emerge in Konoha.

"SO!" One arm wrapped around Gai, momentarily shocking him.

"MUCH!" Another arm wrapped around Lee, also scaring the youth.

" **LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEEEE!** " Shouted Ghost as he tightly embraced the two clearly disturbed and shocked males, effectively canceling out the sunset genjutsu and scaring the living shit out of everyone there.

o. o. o.

In another universe.

Crypt looked up into the sky, distracted from his righteous war against the mailbox pumpkin fishes. "Something horrible and supremely disturbing on a level I have not experienced for centuries is happening right now… and Ghost is directly involved. That bastard better save some of that shit for me. Gasp! The pie rinds and the two day old pre-teen magazines are gathering on my right flank! Where are my fire breathing pigeons and my chainsaw wielding sporks? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Chairs. Avenge. Me. Tell the sink. She's a bitch…"

o. o. o.

A/N: Yeah. School. Blah.

So. I still hope to get roughly 200 reviews by the end of ch. 20, but it doesn't really matter that much.

Check my profile for the poll on when I should update. I still need more votes before I come to my final decision.

The art contest is still up as well. If you still need help on what my characters look like, look at my profile. If you want to draw one of my other OCs, let me know.

Probably going to tweak this chap later, nothing big but this is pretty much it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 19: The fucking huge and long montage

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

Holy shit, I got a lot of votes this past week. Maybe it was because I reposted ch. 18 on Monday and almost nothing good came out this week since then… not that I'm insulting anyone, it's just I just saw very little of the big stories update this week. On a side note, I am waiting very impatiently for Kylewin to finally fucking update Now and Again. Best. Time Travel. FanFic. On the whole. Damn. Site. READ IT.

Oh for god's sake. There really is a damn 10 tails? If Kishi doesn't get his act together soon, Naruto will start ending up like Bleach, which if anyone doesn't get, is sinking horribly. This really is a make or break point in NARUTO (remember him Kishi? 'Cause it sure as hell doesn't seem like it.), not Sasuke. Sigh, time to re-plan some of the future plot. Arg.

So yeah, apparently according to the latest Shippuden episodes (which in my opinion were pretty damn good for once, go Jiraiya vs. Pain fight!) Naruto has the entire Kyūbi in him, he just has half inside himself and the other half inside yet another seal on his body… what? Fuck that. Kishi's thrown in so many god damn plot holes into this story that I'm sticking to my theory about the Kyūbi's chakra, besides, my theory on how the fox's chakra was split makes more sense and is better than the original story's version anyways so pttttttth. And as for Kushina… If I finish the damn Chūnin Exams without seeing neither hide nor hair of the damn woman, I'll stop waiting and make something up for her.

May the hunt BEGIN!

o. o. o.

"So let me get this straight." Breathed out Anko to the group of children and adults in front of her, trying hard not to laugh as Hana was attempting to heal a very badly beaten Ghost on the ground behind her. "Gai and mini Gai were performing the forbidden act of the excessive man hug with the unbreakable sunset genjutsu when Ghost appears out of nowhere and hugs the two in a flamboyant manner, shocking the two enough to break the genjutsu, being the first person in history to do so." Everyone nodded except for Lee, who was huddled in a ball and rocking back and forth. "Unfortunately, Ghost freaked out Gai and Lee SO badly that Lee went into shock and Gai subconsciously beat the living shit out of Ghost."

"Pretty much, Anko." Kurenai shrugged.

"Why can't I get that vision out of my head?" Muttered a dazed Ino.

"For some reason, I don't even think the Sharingan would be able to save me for that horror." Shivered Sasuke.

"Please, for the love of god, someone gouge out my eyes!" Screamed a hysteric Kiba.

"I warned you guys not to look, but did you listen? Nooooooooo. You HAD to watch the horrors, even after I tried to save you. Next time, you'll know better." Naruto sighed, getting dirty looks from everyone who was unfortunate enough to have watched the spectacle.

"My friend." Gai said in a semi loud voice to Ghost, getting the hint that he was overdoing his 'youth' at the moment. "I apologize for my un-youthful conduct. In my shock I have done you great pain. In penance I will…!"

Ghost managed to interrupt the man in a rather raspy tone. "How about you just tell me where I can get those spandex suits in bulk. And maybe teach me how to do that genjutsu as well?"

The field was silent as everyone stared at the recovering man in surprise… then fear as they registered what the partially insane man was asking for.

"… Ero-nii." Naruto asked hesitantly. "What are you planning to do with the spandex and the unbreakable genjutsu?"

Ghost's response was to laugh intensely and manically in an increasing fervor until Hana knocked him out and started to heal him again. Those who were there could have sworn that dramatic evil music was playing in the background.

"Yes! I see that he has the flames of youth! I will not teach him my special genjutsu, but I will indeed tell him where to buy as many fighting suits as he requires! Just so long as he doesn't repeat what he did before…. Who is he anyway?" Everyone face faulted.

"Damn it, Gai!" Anko shouted, beating the tall man over the head. "Didn't you read the memo? This is Ghost! You know, from the new Ōgakari clan? The guy that took care of Naruto a few months ago?"

Gai pounded his fist into his hand. "Ah yes! The youthful man who broke the record for fastest assassination time yesterday! Of course!"

The genin who didn't know about Ghost's skills automatically turned to the knocked out man in shock.

"Him? An assassin? Yeah right!" Ino scoffed.

"I highly doubt a man such as that could prove to kill anything efficiently." Neji commented.

"… It does make some sense." Shino mused, gaining everyone's attention. The Aburame decided to continue. "Though he doesn't behave as an assassin normally would, Ghost-sensei has proven to have exemplary stealth skills. He appeared last week above Naruto-san without anyone noticing until he was only a few inches above his head… and just recently he appeared out of nowhere and managed to get within striking distance of Gai-sensei without him noticing until it was too late…"

"Plus, he's always stealing the panties Anko-sensei's wearing while she's wearing them." Naruto chuckled, barely dodging a kunai thrown by said kunoichi.

"Damn it brat! I told you not to tell anyone that!"

"Umm. Anko?" Hana said hesitantly.

"What?" The purple haired woman yelled as she turned to her friend, only to pale as she saw that Ghost was holding up a pair of black lace panties in his right hand.

Ghost chuckled. "Ah, another day, another job well done."

"WILL YOU STOP STEALING MY UNDERWEAR YOU PERVERT?!" Anko roared as she dove at the man and beat the living shit out of him with Hana, further adding to his list of injuries.

"Umm." Hinata started, gaining everyone's attention and clearly ignoring Ghost's cry for aid. "W-Why are we all here anyway Kurenai-sensei?"

"Yeah." Mumbled Chōji between bites. "It's nice to see everyone, but I don't think that's why we're gathered here."

Asuma sighed, exhaling a large cloud of smoke. "I guess this is as good a time as any, since Kakashi probably won't be here for another couple of hours and those two are busy killing Ghost."

"THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BEND THAT WAY!"

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT, THAT'S WHY I'M DOING IT!"

"The reason why we are all gathered here is because we are testing a new program this year for all graduating genin, one that will greatly increase your overall skill level, potential, and efficiency." Asuma continued, clearly pretending to be deaf. "While you will still remain in teams with your respective sensei, four days every week we will gather together to learn several different types of common and uncommon ninja skills from experts in their field, including ninjutsu, genjutsu, taijutsu, physical conditioning, stealth, poisons, medicine, interrogation, tactics, and developing your own personal style, among others. Each of you will be proficient in every field to a degree, depending on your aptitude, but you will also choose which areas you will eventually specialize in. The remaining three days of the week are either resting days or team development and mission days, where we will not meet together and instead you will build teamwork and learn tactics, as well as perform missions. Are there any questions?" Sakura raised her arm. "Yes?"

"Who are you and what will you be teaching us?" She asked. Asuma chuckled.

"Sorry. My mistake. For all of you who don't know who I am, let me introduce myself. I am Asuma Sarutobi, Jōnin, and sensei of Team 10. I will be instructing you alongside Kakashi on ninjutsu and battlefield tactics. I like smoking, my family, and being with friends. I dislike people who don't respect or aid their friends when they are in need of help. My goal is to settle down with someone eventually and start a family." The chain smoker turned and gave a look to Kurenai to continue. Said woman sighed.

"My name is Kurenai Yūhi. I am a Jōnin, and sensei of Team 8. I am known as the Genjutsu Mistress of Konoha, and as such will be instructing you in the finer points of illusion weaving and dispelling, as well as some chakra control. I like people who are loyal to their friends, preferably ones who are mature and clean. I hate perverts and those who believe that women are weaker ninja then men. My dream is private, but my goals for right now are to make sure you all are properly trained for your future." She smiled sweetly.

"Good!" Yelled the exuberant Gai, causing everyone to flinch. "My name is Gai Maito. I am a Jōnin, and sensei of Team Gai! I am the leading taijutsu specialist of this village, and will be instructing you on the finer points of close ranged combat and personal conditioning! I enjoy training myself, my youthful students, and challenging my eternal rival Kakashi. I do not like those who are not youthful, and Kakashi's hip attitude, (everyone was sweat dropping at this point). My goal is aid my student Lee in his dream to become a grand ninja using only taijutsu!"

"You know Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Yes! He is my eternal rival, and we are constantly challenging each other! Our current record is 49-50 in my favor, so I am stronger than Kakashi!"

Sasuke mentally scoffed. That freak, stronger than his sensei? He doubted it, especially since he had the Sharingan. He had seen it for himself after the genin test, and had no doubt in his mind that despite not being an Uchiha, he knew how to use it well.

Naruto took a deep breath and sighed, paused, then took in another puff of air through his nostrils. "You can come out now Kakashi-sensei." The blonde grumbled. "You forgot to hide downwind of me…"

"Ah!" Voiced a not that surprised scarecrow as he walked out from the woods. "My bad. I'll remember that next time."

"Oi dead last, how the hell could you smell him when I couldn't? You're not even a member of my clan!" Kiba asked irritably.

Kakashi deadpanned. "Naruto's sense of smell is on par with most low members of the Inuzuka clan, Kiba. I'm pretty sure I said something along those lines when I first told everyone about his new developments. As for how he knew I was here before you, it was simply because he knew what I smelled like."

"Kakashi. How good of you to join us." Said Kurenai with a fake smile. "We were just introducing ourselves to our students and telling them what we would be teaching them. It's your turn, as Hana and Anko are still maiming Ghost."

"There is no series of words in existence that represent the pain that I am experiencing at the moment. Someone please help me…"

"Stop whining you wuss. Just a few more lacerations and dislocations and I think your punishment will be complete… for now anyways."

"I don't know Anko, he looks like he could still handle a few more broken bones before passing out…"

"Riiiiiight. Anyways. My name is Kakashi Hatake. I'm pretty much the expert on ninjutsu in the village, and I'll be in charge of teaching you ninjutsu and tactics with Asuma, but I'll also help out Kurenai from time to time, and I am in charge of bloodline training as well. I don't really like or dislike all that much. As for dreams… well, you're not old enough to hear them yet."

Everyone sweat dropped at Kakashi's self-description as Hana walked over to the group. "Anko's almost done maiming Ghost, so I'll get my bit done with in case he actually dies from what we did to him. My name is Hana Inuzuka, and I am a chūnin and the leading vet of the village, however I'm planning on taking my special jōnin exam soon. If you haven't noticed yet, that idiot over there that hasn't bathed in a week with Akamaru is my little brother."

"Hey!"

"I will be teaching you all medic techniques and procedures on the field, as well as aiding Kakashi-sensei in clan based techniques. If you haven't guessed yet, we will be practicing on Ghost more often than not later on. I like training with my triplets, healing animals, and hanging out with my friends… and massages. I don't like perverts and people who enjoy harming animals. My goal is to become a great veterinarian and to become a strong kunoichi to lead my clan."

"You done yet?" Called out Anko.

"Just finished." Hana replied.

"Well I guess it's my turn."

"Oh thank god." Moaned Ghost, right before Anko chucked him heavily right in front of the group of genin. "Ooohohohohohohooowwwww."

"What up, maggots?" Anko smiled sadistically as she waltzed up to the slightly unnerved genin. "My name is Anko Mitarashi, special jōnin and one of the top interrogation and assassination experts of Konoha." She looked at Ghost's mangled body. "He doesn't count. I'll be in charge of teaching you weaklings the finer points on how to dodge, poisons, interrogation, stealth, tools, and for the ladies, seduction." She paused to enjoy the look on several of the girl's… and some of the boy's faces at this last part. "I enjoy eating dango, hanging out with my friends, getting smashed… and massages. I hate having someone getting one over on me, and assholes that don't bother to get to know people before judging them. My goal is to FINALLY make jōnin and to take out a certain snake…"

"Ummm, don't you hate perverts?" Tenten asked, nervously staring at Ghost.

Anko shrugged. "The ones with no tact, sure. Skilled perverts, on the other hand, are damn good in the sack as long as they don't lose themselves in the moment. Punching bag A over there is the best one I've come across in a long time. The panties thing is really just a game between us to see if I can actually catch the bastard in the act."

"You suck. …I always win." Groaned Ghost before Anko punted him screaming across the field, causing everyone to sweat drop heavily.

"As much as I enjoy perverts getting their punishments," Kurenai said. "We do need Ghost to do his introduction before we continue. He IS the one who started all this in the first place after all."

Hana sighed as she ran to Ghost's location with her dogs. "I'll get him."

"Did you seriously train under that pervert for three months?" Kiba asked incredulously.

Naruto groaned. "For the last time, yes! He may be a crazy pervert, but he could probably beat up everyone here at once if he wanted to in an all on one fight! It just so happens that he's a pervert and partially insane! Honestly! The Sannin Jiraiya is a self-proclaimed super pervert, and he's supposed to be a kage-level ninja!"

"How do you know that Jiraiya-sama is a pervert?" Asked Tenten curiously, wanting to know more about the teammates of her idol.

Naruto snorted. "Easy, he writes those Icha-Icha books that Kakashi-sensei used to read so much until Ero-nii switched him onto Sci-fi books. I read the inside cover of his books once when Ero-Nnii and I played one of our pranks on him."

"I'm back." Called Hana as she carried / dragged Ghost to the group. "I healed him enough to talk and breathe on his own. The rest can heal with time as punishment." Everyone sweat dropped again.

Hana dropped him on the ground with a thud. "So, yeah. My name is Cadaver, and I like panties." Hana kicked him. "My name is Ghost and I'm really good at sneaking around, killing stuff, and stealing underwear as a joke. Don't worry girls, you won't have to concern yourselves with my hobbies until you hit 17." Everyone sweat dropped. "As you all know, I am a pervert, but I am also a ventriloquist, a musician, a gymnast, a dancer, a chef, a skilled spy, and many other professions."

"Being a pervert is a profession?" Naruto snorted, getting some other people to laugh.

"If you word it differently and talk to the right people… yes, yes it is." Ghost replied in a serious tone, making everyone face fault. "My job is to help you future minions develop your own personal style of fighting and your own bag of tricks, and how to use them out in the field to their greatest potential. I'll also occasionally help out Anko with stealth, assassination, and espionage training, as well as being your test subject for most of your medical training. Yay lack of human rights! Anyways, I like hanging out with the brat, my family, and Anko and Hana whenever they aren't causing me major bodily harm. I also enjoy cooking, playing music, dancing, screwing around with people's heads - especially those that need reality checks - , pulling pranks, and overall just having fun. I don't like pain, I really, REALLY don't like pain, large birds, clowns, idiots that think things are predetermined at birth (Neji developed a tick mark), assholes who have sticks up their asses, ignorant masses, and things that are long and needlessly complicated. My dream for the moment is to once again regain normal feeling and proper motor function in my arms and legs again…" (A/N: I am actually afraid of large birds. You would too if you had a giant pink cracked out version of Big Bird painted on the inside of your bedroom door for the first five fucking years of your life. I didn't even need to fall asleep for that bloody thing to give me nightmares.)

"Stop whining, you pansy." Anko smirked.

Ghost frowned, then smirked. "Hey Anko, you should really pay attention to what you put on yourself in the morning, 'cause you weren't wearing the black lace panties today…" He somehow raised his left arm up to show a black G-string with pink heart designs on it. "It was the hearts G-string. I took the black lace from your apartment after you left, it was simply to get you close to me so I could do the crime then. And you want to become a jōnin. Tut, tut, tut."

"DEATH!" Shouted a red faced Anko as she dove at the crippled man to further his misery.

"While Anko-sensei shows Ero-nii the tenth circle of hell…" Naruto shivered, trying to ignore the man's cries for help. "How about we introduce ourselves as well? I mean, we all sort of know each other, but only so much." Almost everyone nodded. "Right, so let me start off. My name is Naruto Uzumaki…"

Giant time skip because the author is lazy.

"Okay. So now what?" Ino asked after Tenten finished her introduction.

"Huzzah! My brilliant plan to tire her out by letting her beat the living shit out of me is coming to fruition! I am a genius! Why is everything spinning? And where did this pool of fruit punch come from?"

"The plan was to start your training after we got introductions out of the way and explain what your future schedules would be like." Kurenai answered, clearly ignoring Ghost.

"Yes! First will be your physical conditioning and taijutsu practice with ME! Come, my youthful students! Let us show them the power of YOUTH!" Shouted Gai.

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee bounced energetically. "When we are done, I will…"

"Lee's staying right here for the moment." Groaned Ghost, gaining everyone's attention, being that it was the first not-stupid thing he had said all day. "I'm starting his special training first, seeing as his is the quickest to deal with…" Ghost smirked, scaring some of the people there mostly because he was half soaked in his own blood. "He also has caught my interest a while ago, and I am eager to see how far he will get with my training."

Gai blinked a few moments before nodding. "Well, OKAY THEN! Lee, my youthful student, go to Ghost and undertake his training, as I am sure that it will test you to your very being!" Kurenai, Asuma, and Kakashi sighed as they went too to make sure that their friend didn't go overboard and kill their students before they could get to them.

 _'In a way, he's right.'_ Mused Ghost as Lee nervously walked towards him.

"Don't worry, bushy brows." Whispered Naruto to the unnerved boy green wonder. "Ero-nii knows what he's doing, even if he's a bit crazy. If he's interested in you, it means that you're going to get A LOT stronger by training his way, believe me." Lee looked at Naruto questioningly, only to get a confident smirk in response.

As the two groups separated, Lee walked up to Ghost, who was getting healed by Hana, yet again. "You're getting better at this." The man mused. "You're almost three times as fast as you were when Anko first started maiming me."

"And you said nothing good would come out of me hurting him." Pouted Anko.

"It's because I've been doing this so much that I've had to." The Inuzuka heiress grumbled. "There, you're well enough to walk, but don't do anything excessive or you'll damage yourself. I'm only healing you this much because you're training my brother's friends now."

Ghost got up slowly. "Yeah, yeah. I know." He limped to Lee. "So. Lee. I read in your file that you can do the Lotus. I also read that you are unable to do ninjutsu or genjutsu. Is it true?"

Lee looked at Ghost. "Yes. It is my dream to become a splendid ninja using only taijutsu. Gai-sensei has also taught me the Lotus, but he has forbidden me to use it, as it harms my body and…"

"At the moment, I am a higher authority than Gai." Ghost smirked, shocking the boy. "And right now, you showing me how powerful your Lotus is a significant portion of your training. Now…" Ghost made a shadow clone of himself and sent it to get a log, which only took half a second as it simply replaced itself with one nearby.. "Take this log and use a Lotus on it. Don't worry, you will not be doing anything excessive afterwards, and I only need you to do it once."

Anko whistled. "That brat can do a Lotus? Damn."

Hana blinked. "What's a Lotus?"

Ghost smirked as he watched lee move the log and get into position. "Just watch. I have high expectations for this kid."

Lee hesitated for a moment, before he launched his assault on the log, kicking it high in the air before appearing right underneath it and wrapping it with his bandages, then spinning it at a rapid pace and slamming it into the ground hard, breathing somewhat heavily as he approached the three again. Hana's eyes were wide as she registered the skill of the genin in front of her.

Ghost smiled. "Take a good look at that small crater you just made. That is what you will be comparing yourself to in a few days after my training." Lee nodded. "Now, follow me. Hana, can you help me to that hill over there?" Hana sighed as she got underneath Ghost's shoulder and helped him walk to the small hill a few hundred feet away. "Lee, tell me about your normal training schedule."

Lee sighed, slightly out of breath. "Gai-sensei and I wake up at 5 in the morning every day, where we train heavily in many areas. I punch and kick a training log 2000 times with each arm and leg, then do 1000 pushups and sit-ups each, then run around Konoha 10 times, along with extreme stretching exercises and a few others. Then our team goes on missions or trains in taijutsu, including frequent spars or teamwork or other areas of ninja training that we can all participate in. Then I do my pushups, sit-ups, running, kicking, and punching exercises again, then go to bed. I normally get home by around 9 at night." He chuckled lightly as he saw Hana's and Anko's reaction to his training schedule. "But it is still not enough for me to beat Neji…"

Ghost chuckled, clearly un-phased by the boy's workout schedule. "And you do this every day? You take no days off?"

Lee shook his head. "I must keep training if I am to be strong enough to reach my goal."

"…Or do you?" Ghost smiled, gaining all three of his companion's attention. "Lee, let me tell you about how the human body works." He said as he lay down on the hill. "Human muscles are like a bunch of cords pointing in the same direction. When you exercise, you are actually breaking those cords. The reason why you get stronger from doing so is because the body repairs these cords soon afterwards, making them stronger in the process. However, this takes time, and if you train too much or too frequently, these repairs are never fully completed, reducing how much stronger you can become. The reason why I am training you first is because your special training is the simplest, but also one whose yields will be among the greatest. Your special training … is to rest."

Lee blinked in confusion. "But, Gai-sensei told me that if I rest for too long, my muscles will get weaker…"

Ghost nodded. "That is completely true. However, your teacher is a bit misguided as to how long is too long. I have a feeling that Gai is somewhat impatient when it comes to training, and has unknowingly pushed that trait onto you (along with his fashion sense). It takes at least a few weeks of doing nothing for any sort of noticeable reduction in your strength to show. For now, I am only asking you to rest and relax for two days. The most you can do is basic chakra control exercises and some advanced stretches, but that is it. Your muscles are constantly tired from all that training you do, and even though you open the first gate when you do your Lotus, you are only using at most 40% of what your body can really do, instead of the assumed 100%. Rest, and in a few days you will feel the difference. This training also tests your self-control. If Gai asks about this, just tell him that it's a very important part of your training." That being said, Ghost laid down on the ground and almost instantly fell asleep.

Lee stared at the man in awe. Just a few minutes earlier he was acting in an un-youthful and childish manner, but just then he spoke with as much wisdom as Gai-sensei. He looked at Hana who had just sat down next to Ghost and started to heal some of his more blatant wounds. "Is he right?"

Hana nodded. "The human body needs rest more than you think, even when you're awake, Lee-kun. Pushing your body, even if you are doing it correctly, can cause harm if done too much without enough rest. I must say that I am surprised by how much skill you have in taijutsu, but if Ghost is saying that he can make you much stronger than that, I would take his advice. He's a lot smarter than he seems. He just chooses not to act like it most of the time."

"My brother does have a tendency to mislead people frequently." Said Scabbard as he walked towards the group, surprising them with his sudden appearance. He looked down at the surprisingly silent Ghost. "I was wondering when he would get some real sleep. He's been pushing himself too hard lately…"

"What do you mean by real sleep?" Anko asked, sitting near Ghost's head opposite of Hana.

"Who is he?" Lee asked.

"That's Ghost's brother, Scabbard." Hana answered.

Scabbard sighed. "My brother's method of training is different than anyone else's. He rarely stops training this way, even though other people can't tell if he is or not. It puts a rather large strain on his body and mind, and he is constantly taking quick naps as a result, narcolepsy aside. Occasionally, he needs to stop and get a decent amount of sleep in his body, otherwise he starts to behave a tad bit more … erratic than normal…"

"Can't he just sleep at night like everyone else?" Anko asked.

Scabbard shook his head. "His training method impairs how effective sleep is in general. The only way I can tell that it's not activated right now is by looking at his muscles…

"He's right." Mused a somewhat surprised Hana. "His muscles are all relaxed…"

"Isn't he always relaxed?" Anko asked questioningly.

Hana shook her head. "No. Most of the time his muscles are tense and strained, even when he's sleeping…"

"What does he do to himself?" Wondered Lee.

Scabbard was silent for a few moments before responding. "If I tell you, you must all promise me that you will keep quiet about this except when talking to anyone in my family. I know you three well enough to know you can be trusted, but I must have your word that you will be silent about this."

The three watchers paused before all nodding.

"He is helping me get stronger and has faith in me. I will not betray his trust." Lee announced.

"We're already stuck in a bunch of crap, one more secret can't hurt." Anko mused.

"What she said." Hana sighed.

Scabbard took a few moments to analyze their reactions before sighing. "He makes himself slower."

He looked at their reactions. "His training involves slowing down his body by large multiples and going throughout everyday life with everyone moving around, from his perspective, at ridiculous paces. He's managed to adjust how he interprets things so that he can hear and talk to people normally no matter what speed he's in, but his perception of the world around him is incredibly slow compared to the normal human being. The training increases his reaction time, planning time, efficiency, and overall speed to unparalleled levels. He does change his levels depending on the situation, however he rarely is required to move at more than roughly 1/8th his normal speed in order to deal with events around him. Even going through a crowd of people or fighting a civilian is equivalent to a kage-level trial for him… most decently sized battles rarely force him to go more than 1/4th his normal speed. He enjoys the challenge and being pushed to his limits."

He turned to Lee and gave the boy a small smile. "Although I believe that you could push him to ½, if you go all out on him that is." Lee's eyes widened in shock. "He's a lot like you. When we first started to train, he was clearly the weakest person in our family… and we often made fun of him because of it." He then turned back to his brother. "Now, he is unquestionably among the most powerful… though we still make fun of him for random reasons."

"Take his advice, Lee. He's been in your shoes before, and I have no doubt that he will make you into a powerful ninja. What he lacks in physical strength and intelligence, he more than makes up with creativity, improvisation, and speed." He picked up his right pants leg to show his prosthetic leg to the three shocked listeners. "… What I lack in speed and physical strength, I make up for in technique, precision, intelligence, planning, and raw power." He let his clothes fall down. "We all have our weak points, but it is how we get around them that make us strong…"

o. o. o.

The rest of the day was pretty much uneventful for the group of genin. After Gai's three hour torture marathon, otherwise known as strength and taijutsu training, the eleven students met up with Lee's group (who had a newfound respect for Ghost, and would not tell anyone other than Gai about his special training) on the hill and started to learn the fundamentals of genjutsu from Kurenai.

Needless to say, many of the boys had fallen asleep. An hour later it was Hana's turn to lecture everyone on medicinal practices and the importance of medical techniques. Sakura was wide awake for these two parts, getting raised eyebrows from everyone who knew her fairly well. Afterwards was Kakashi's and Asuma's turn to teach, which had garnered more attention seeing as everyone loved ninjutsu and strategy. What they didn't expect was two hours of tree climbing. Naruto had to explain repeatedly that he practiced it with Ghost during his three month training period to help with his bad chakra control. Surprisingly enough, Sakura didn't yell at the blonde, as she was too busy trying to increase her control and her reserves. Next came Anko with a dozen clones in tandem. She gave the genin five seconds after she told them to run before the rain of kunai and shuriken fell on the mostly unsuspecting crowd. Naruto, Shikamaru, and Hinata knew better than to stay still for the woman.

After an hour of dodging for their lives, the clones stopped and the group once again met in front of the group of jōnin.

"Now that you have been introduced to all of us…" Started Kurenai. "You can now choose who you want to study under for the rest of the day. You cannot change teachers afterwards however, so pick carefully. Also, each teacher needs at least one student, aside from Scabbard and Ghost. They pick when they get students due to the special requirements of what they are teaching."

"Are we allowed to train without a sensei?" Asked Neji.

Hana nodded. "Yes, but odds are you would not benefit as much from doing so…"

Neji nodded as the children split up. Lee went off on his own after tearfully explaining to Gai that it was part of his training. Hinata went to Kurenai, Kiba (stupidly) and surprisingly Ino went to Anko, Naruto, Chōji, and Shikamaru (which shocked many people) went to Gai, Sakura went with Hana, and Shino, Sasuke and Neji went with Kakashi and Azuma. Tenten was about to go to Kakashi's group as well, when Ghost called her over.

"Not so fast, panda. You got me next."

Tenten grew a tick mark on her head as she approached the slightly healed and yawning Ghost. "You going to try and tell me how I should fight?" She asked in a challenging manner.

Ghost smiled. "I just wanted to thank you for that wonderful job you did on the fox bracers you made for me. They really were the work of a professional. Tell me, how much do you know about sealing…?"

o. o. o.

"Scabbard-sensei." Hinata said quietly as the rest of the teams started to leave. She took out a medium sized scroll. "My father told me to give this to you. He said that all you asked for is sealed inside…"

Scabbard nodded as he took the scroll and slipped it into his coat. "Tell him that he has my thanks and that he should expect a completed product by the time the rest of the family arrives.

Hinata nodded. "I, I know I shouldn't ask, but, what are you trying to make?"

Scabbard gave the girl a small smile as he patted her on the head. "It's a surprise. You remember what your role in your team is?"

Hinata nodded. "I'm to constantly be slightly stronger than both my teammates, motivating them to be stronger at a faster pace so that we are ready when the Chūnin Exams come. In the meantime, I'm to publicly practice my genjutsu with Kurenai-sensei and privately perfect what medical techniques I know and my personal style."

Scabbard nodded. "We just started the most important part of the preparation stage, next to gaining the cleaver and the ice shards. Your role is imperative in making sure your teammates stay safe. This is why you, Naruto and Shikamaru are on different teams; to motivate everyone in your age group to excel farther than if they were left to your own devices."

"What about Neji nii-san's team?" Hinata asked.

Scabbard deadpanned. "They have enough motivation with Gai and Lee. Our presence isn't needed there."

Little did Hinata know, but the entire conversation was being observed by a pair of highly inquisitive pair of white eyes from a distance. Though the owner was too far to hear what they were saying, he could read lips quite well. He would keep quiet about this… for now.

o. o. o.

"So did Ero-nii, Shikamaru, old man, and Kakashi-sensei tell you everything?" Naruto asked Asuma as they walked through town with Kakashi.

"Pretty much." Sighed the chain smoker. "It took me a while to get used to the fact that I'm in the past and, you know… not dead. That headache was a pain in the ass though."

"Tell me about it." Moaned Kakashi. "I still have migraines from when I was talking to my dad when I died AND when I got my memories back. And I was only gone for an hour."

"It's kind of depressing that I have to go through all that work to hook up with Kurenai again. And I never got to see my child…"

"Oh dear lord, he finally admits that he likes Kurenai." Said Naruto in fake shock before going back to normal. "Sorry about your kid though. If it makes you feel any better, he probably wouldn't have had much of a happy life if things were going as they were…"

"Yeah." Sighed the man in defeat.

"How did Shikamaru react when you got your memories back?" Kakashi asked.

"Well…" Asuma stalled.

"You had a Gai and Lee moment, didn't you?" Naruto smirked, causing both men to sweat drop.

"Say anything and I won't teach you how to use your talons." Growled the Sarutobi. "And Kakashi, I'll tell the entire village what you did during that special jōnin Christmas party when you got hammered by the special Christmas punch and ate the special brownies Ebisu made a few years back…"

"You swore you would never tell anyone about that night!" Hissed Kakashi.

"Oh, I gotta hear this story." Smirked Naruto as Kakashi started to sweat heavily and Asuma started to laugh evilly.

o. o. o.

"Chōji…" Shikamaru muttered seriously as the two walked back home. "I know that you wouldn't normally hear this from me but, train hard…"

"Shikamaru?" Grumbled the Akimichi, temporarily ignoring the bag of chips in his hand. "What's up?" He asked worriedly.

"I can't tell you everything, but something very troublesome is going to happen within the next year…" Whispered the Nara. "Something that we will need to be very strong for, as soon as possible. Don't tell anyone, especially our parents; it would only make things more troublesome. Just promise me that you will try to get as strong as you can by the Chūnin Exams…"

Chōji glared at his friend, knowing that something extremely big was up to make the lazy Nara this serious. "What about Ino?" He asked hesitantly. "Should we tell her…?"

"And risk the entire village knowing by the next day?" Shikamaru deadpanned. "No. We don't tell her anything until the time is right. What we do is get stronger, then shove it into her face so that she tries to get stronger as well to show us up instead of trying to woo Sasuke with her troublesome looks."

Chōji looked down, nervous about not only Shikamaru's serious demeanor, but hiding things from Ino, who he had a small crush on. "I don't like hiding something this big from my parents Shikamaru…" He then looked back up with a frown. "But if it's that important, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure they're safe. I trust you Shika."

Shikamaru nodded solemnly. "Thanks Chōji, you don't know how much that means to me…"

o. o. o.

"You goin' home, Scab?"

"Yes, Ghost. Hiashi gave me the rest of what we needed to fix the sealing problem. I'm leaving in the morning."

"Say hi to everyone for me. You set up my feedback shelter in the house, right?"

"Sigh, yes. I still cannot believe that you didn't have your portable feedback shelter on you when you first came here. You know how dangerous it is for others when they hit. Especially yours…"

"Well, excuse me for not remembering to bring my PFS to a bloody bachelor's party four months before my next feedback…"

"…"

"…"

"… They're starting to care for you deeply. I can tell you are developing feelings for them as well. Perhaps it's time you…"

"You know why I can't. Every time I start to get close to someone, she pops in my mind and…"

"It's been over 400 years, Ghost. You have to move on. I won't pity you and tell you that it wasn't your fault, it was all our fault to some degree, but…"

"You weren't the one she was talking to in her last moments, Scab… You didn't hear the commitment in her voice when she said those words, the first coherent words she had said in over two years…to me…"

"… I know, Ghost. We all do. But you still have to move on. They've already seen the entirety of your feedback, something that would scare almost any other woman in existence away from you; most of your other secrets are nothing compared to that. Maybe those two can finally help you where Waltz, Shadow, Crypt and I failed. Please just try. Sometimes I fear you really are turning into a cursed memory."

"… Sometimes I wonder if I haven't already, brother…"

o. o. o.

"Whoa." Breathed out a shocked Lee as he looked at the crater he had just made. "It has to be at least three times the size of the one I made a few days ago!"

"Now that you understand the importance of rest, this is what you shall do. You will rest every Saturday and Wednesday, or a day before you go on a big mission. No physical training aside from basic stretches and slow kata, and you will still come to study genjutsu and ninjutsu with everyone else in order to learn how to fight against it. Every other day, go nuts."

"Yes, Ghost-sensei!"

o. o. o.

"Damn it Hinata!" Kiba shouted. "Hold still! Gatsūga!" Two giant drills barreled towards the young girl, who stood her ground.

"Kaiten!" She shouted, spinning rapidly and deflecting the two drills, which turned back into an exhausted Kiba and Akamaru before slamming into the ground heavily.

"Damn it! Why can't I ever beat you?" Kiba groaned in pain.

"I have told you before, it's because I train hard every day after our team separates, Kiba-kun." Sighed Hinata as she walked to her downed teammate to heal him.

"Yeah, yeah." Growled the Inuzuka. "I just wanted to beat you for once. It seems like no matter what I or Shino do, we're always a step behind you, like you're teasing us or something…"

"Kiba-kun, do you really think I would do something like that on purpose?" Sniffed Hinata with puppy dog eyes. Kiba didn't stand a chance, Hinata had been practicing the puppy dog eyes on Naruto for months now, and her skill with it was near perfect.

"N-Noooooo." Kiba said, looking away unconvincingly with a blush on his face. "I'm just frustrated that you keep on beating me, that's all."

"It is to be expected." Shino said stoically as he walked towards the pair. "Hinata is the heiress of the Hyūga clan, who are renowned for their Jūken. It is only natural that she be extremely skilled in her family's arts, though I do wonder why she never displayed such commitment to them before while we were in the academy…"

Hinata laughed, slightly nervous at what Shino was insinuating. "I-It's nothing Shino-kun. I just finally got the hang of my training recently, that's all."

The Aburame remained still for a few moments before slowly nodding his head as Kurenai walked towards the three with two small bags with plastic beans in them (AKA hackey sacks). "Okay guys, it's time for your teamwork training. Same as before, keep both sacks up in the air as long as you can without letting them touch the ground, 4 self passes max. If you can, try to hold a conversation as well."

"Leave it to that pervert to come up with a training exercise like this." Sighed Kiba as Kurenai tossed him a bag. Shino and Hinata nodded in agreement. Despite what they and the other genin teams had expected when they were first given the exercise, keeping the two bags in the air at once between the three of them was unusually difficult and required a fair amount of trust and knowledge of one's teammates…

o. o. o.

"So let me get this straight." Ghost deadpanned in front of Naruto at their private section of their training grounds. "By using my Seventh Sense technique, you accidentally found a way to make and gather sage chakra while moving."

Naruto nodded, grinning like an idiot. "Yep!"

Ghost grabbed the boy's shoulders with both hands while crying heavily in a Gai-ish fashion. "That is what I'm fucking talking about! I didn't even know that was possible, but you did what our kind does best and threw common sense out the window. You have made me so proud. Sniff. From now on, I consider you an equal. I will still give you advice on how to manage your Seventh Sense, but for the most part your training with me is complete. Go forth and kick many an ass, my minion…"

"Does that mean that you'll stop throwing exploding cows at me?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Ghost chuckled. "Ah, Naruto. You say the silliest things sometimes…"

o. o. o.

"What the hell?" Ino gasped as she was beaten by Chōji and Shikamaru yet again in their sparring matches in front of Gai, Asuma, Ghost and Anko. "When did you two get so strong?"

Shikamaru shrugged. "It's troublesome, but Chōji and I have decided to train harder lately. We felt that it was time to stop goofing off and act like shinobi for once."

"That, and your mom wouldn't let you hear the end of it if she heard you were slacking off again while you're in this special program…" mumbled his faithful companion, who was starting to put on some noticeable muscle underneath all that weight.

"That goes without saying, Chōji." Grumbled Shikamaru.

Ino's stomach growled, causing everyone around her to stare at the blushing girl. "Now that I have a good look at you," Ghost mused, "You're pretty much a stick. How much do you eat? A carrot a day?"

Asuma sighed. "Pretty much. You should see her when I take the team out for lunch. Only the lightest meals possible, and she doesn't even finish them half the time. It's no wonder she has so much trouble keeping up with the others during Gai's workouts."

Ino pouted. "Well, of course I eat so little! I have to keep my figure so Sasuke-kun will notice me!"

Anko huffed. "The brat's gonna hold back her team at this rate."

Gai frowned. "Her determination is admirable, however her youthfulness is misguided."

Ghost sighed. "Anko, can you tell Ino what your normal daily diet is please?"

Anko shrugged. "Mostly dango, really. I often go on training trips into the Forest of Death and live off of the plants and animals there. And beer. Lots and lots of beer. Come to think of it, when was the last time I got properly smashed…?"

"Last week when you, me and Hana went to that bar near the Hokage's office to celebrate Hana's first finished secret jutsu. Yoink!" Ghost sighed as he stripped Anko of her trench coat and ran off with it. It took Anko a full five seconds to realize that Ghost had stolen the one piece of her clothing that made her appear somewhat decent in public before turning beet red and chasing after the man in a bloody rampage as Asuma, Chōji, Shikamaru, and Gai tried to stem their bleeding noses from seeing Anko in nothing in a fishnet top. It was well known in town that Anko never wore a bra, however she was skilled enough to keep her coat over her assets at all times to prevent herself from getting arrested for indecent exposure.

"Gotta love shadow clones." Sighed a Ghost standing behind Ino, shocking the girl out of her stupor. He continued before the girl could speak again. "Take a good look at her figure, Ino." He instructed as the enraged female chased his laughing clone across the training fields. "Anko's diet mainly consists of wild animals, plants, and very large quantities of dango, yet her figure is something that most men would beg for in a woman. This is because she works off all the calories that she puts on. The thing is Ino, men like women with curves, not sticks. With the way you are treating your body, you will end up skinny, frail, and brittle, most likely never making it farther than chūnin if that. I'm not telling you to gorge yourself on food like an Akimichi, but you should broaden your diet more." Ino grumbled in agreement, secretly admitting that Anko-sensei did have an amazing figure.

She guessed that it wouldn't be that bad to eat a little more. She had been getting hungrier lately ever since her training had begun, and to be perfectly honest, her ribs were sticking out a bit too much and it was starting to scare her. "If Anko lets me live after this, I will try to convince her to take you on as her personal apprentice. I can tell that she would be the best teacher for you, as she's often worked with your father before and knows how to mix your family's techniques with others to their greatest potential. Plus, she can iron out some of your bad habits. Just a bit of warning though, she has a bit of a problem not remembering to restrain herself at times. So, you in?"

Ino stalled for a moment, temporarily shocked that the man in front of her was not being stupid for once, but then she remembered what Naruto had told her about the supposed pervert and sighed. She knew she was going to regret this, but seeing as how everyone else, even forehead were advancing in leaps and bounds ahead of her, she guessed that this would be the best path for her. "Fine." She sighed in resignation. "How bad could it be?"

Ghost smirked as Anko killed his clone painfully and ran towards the real body. "Ino. A bit of advice. Never say something like that. Especially in my presence." He cheerfully turned to the fuming Anko. "Please be gentle."

Anko growled, taking out a kunai in each hand. "Tough luck. I'm all bite at the moment…"

o. o. o.

"You're getting better." Smirked Asuma as he stared down Naruto, both of their chakra blades out in full force, both of Naruto's side blades extended to their farthest reach and Azuma's knuckles glowing around his fingers. The two had been training for several hours now and Naruto had finally started getting the hang of his talons.

Naruto breathed out heavily. He may have been a stamina freak, but Asuma was beating him into the ground constantly, and Ghost had given the smoker explicit instructions not to hold back on the kid seeing that he could heal extremely quickly. If it wasn't for his healing factor, Naruto would be covered in debilitating cuts by now. Luckily he had taken off his shirts before the training, so only his pants were reasonably cut. Ghost had threatened the boy that if he ruined the sweaters and shirts he had gotten the boy, he would not replace them. Considering that it is almost impossible to find short sleeved custom made sweaters and long sleeved shirts that allow chakra out but not in so that they would not be damaged when Naruto activated his talons while wearing them, the blonde decided to play it safe. "Thanks. I have to remember that I can't keep on making clones for all my fights. This is great practice."

Asuma nodded. "It's always good to have multiple ways to reach your goals. Although to be perfectly honest, you already have a fair number of paths to take. Sage Mode, shadow clones, your new sense training, your impressive skills with replacement, your talons, and your incredible stamina and chakra reserves. To be perfectly honest, you're technically on par with the elite jōnin of the village already."

Naruto sighed. "Yeah, still it sucks being a kid and trying to earn everyone's respect… again." He smirked. "However, that still raises the question of how bloody awesome I'm gonna be when I finally finish puberty."

Asuma chuckled. "Just make sure to control yourself around your girlfriend when you finally hit that age again. Don't want you to make a complete ass of yourself in front of her after you finally realized how special you two are for each other."

"You too?" Groaned Naruto. "Was I the ONLY person that didn't know that Hinata-chan liked me the way she did?"

"Yes." Asuma said immediately without any remorse.

"… You're never going to let me live this down, are you?" Deadpanned Naruto as he got back into fighting position, withdrawing his arm blades and extending the ones on the bottom of his wrists.

"Consider it payback for that comment about me finally getting out of denial with Kurenai. You gonna try to take out your frustration on me?" Mocked Asuma as he got into position again.

"That's the plan." Naruto joked as he charged at the once dead man.

"Well then, by all means go ahead and try." The smoker replied as he charged in as well.

o. o. o.

"What do you know about my brother?" Demanded Sasuke, cutting Ghost off in the trail he was taking back to his new home after training that day. The Uchiha was losing sleep at night recently, constantly pondering what Scabbard had told him several weeks earlier, and he wanted answers.

Ghost turned around and smiled. "Scabbard gave you some hints that we know more than we should?" Sasuke nodded, never taking his eyes off of the man. Ghost grumbled. "Freaking stupid geniuses and their retarded huge mouths. Sorry, kid. You're not ready yet."

"WHAT?" Roared Sasuke. "What makes you think I'm not ready?! I'm an Uchiha, and…"

"That's why." Pointed out the tired pervert. "You let your temper get the better of you when you don't get what you want, especially when it comes to your brother. You hide behind your bloodline and your namesake, believing that they make you more important than you really are."

"News flash, kid. You are 12 years old. No matter how important and grown up you think you are, you are still just a kid. Hell, you haven't even hit puberty yet. If I tell you anything right now, you would interpret it the wrong way or deny all the important stuff I tell you, preferring to live in your own little world, which is suicidal considering that you are really living in a world ruled by ninja."

He sighed. "I assure you that you will encounter your brother again when the time is right, but remember to keep an open mind. Whatever advice my brother has given you, take it to heart. That guy is never wrong. In the meantime, train your ass off, because I can assure you that your brother isn't the only strong opponent you will come across in the future. If you loosen that stick up your ass, I might just help you."

Ghost took Sasuke's silence as an agreement as he walked past the boy. "Your brother is an extremely gifted and skilled shinobi. It would take you years to be able to come even close to his level of power and skill, and even then you still need the experience or it will all go to waste. So don't be stupid enough to rush to your own death. If you are even a bit as smart as others say, you should be able to tell the power difference between the two of you. Don't be a moron and let your anger control your actions. It will only get you killed or make you do something Naruto would have done." Ghost continued on his way home.

"How do you know I will meet with him again…?" Sasuke whispered.

Ghost chuckled. "It's one of those secrets I'll tell you about later if you finally decide to grow up. Later… oh, and you might want to take up the sword. You seem to be built to use one, but what do I know?"

o. o. o.

"Because you all have displayed such advancement in your lessons, I think it's time that I showed you some actual healing techniques." Hana said to her students with a grin. "Sakura and Hinata, you two in particular have done exceptionally well." The chūnin commented, causing both girls to blush, although if anyone was paying attention, they would see that Neji's demeanor grew a bit colder at the comment. "We will start with the basic healing technique for scratches and burns."

Sakura raised her hand. "Um, Hana sensei? What will we be practicing on? I didn't see you bring anything."

Thump. Ghost's limp and very much lacerated body landed heavily between the two groups, scaring some of the genin watching. "Thanks Anko!" Hana shouted.

"Anytime, Hana!" Yelled the snake mistress from halfway across the field.

"Hello. My name is Cadaver and I like panties." Slurred Ghost to the genin before a well-placed kick from Hana knocked him out.

"Now that the patient is properly sedated, we can begin." Lectured Hana, clearly ignoring the sweat dropping genin. "Neji-kun, can you please do a diagnostic jutsu on Ghost to see the extent of his damage please?"

Neji sighed as he walked over to the man, performed the appropriate hand seals, and place his hands over the man's body. The sweat drop on the back of his head progressively grew larger as he covered more of the man's body. "He has two broken ribs, three broken fingers, two dislocated fingers, a broken arm, a dislocated arm, a broken leg, three bruised ribs, a bruised femur, several torn muscles, an uncountable number of cuts on his body, a concussion, some internal bleeding, and what I'd guess is some poison running throughout his system."

Everyone sweat dropped as Hana turned to her friend again. "Damn it Anko! I told you that we weren't at poisons and internal hemorrhaging yet!"

"My bad!"

"Hold on kids." Sighed Hana as she kneeled over Ghost with glowing green hands. "Let me just make sure the idiot here doesn't die before you all have a chance to heal him. Neji, good job identifying all of his symptoms. You can go back now." After Hana healed the mauled Ghost of his more serious wounds (something she would have significant trouble with before he arrived), the twelve genin took turns healing his various wounds. (Hana's cheering before they started: Come one, come all. Heal a Ghost! There's plenty of pain for all of you to heal. Don't be shy! Heal as much as you want, free of charge.) Most of the boys focused on healing his cuts since their chakra control was not as precise as the girls. Sakura shocked everyone by healing Ghost's femur at an unusually fast pace for someone at her level. Even Hinata and Sasuke were impressed by the pink haired girl's skill. "That was very impressive Sakura." Awed Hana.

Said pinkette blushed. "Thank you Hana-sensei. I've been practicing my chakra control and increasing my reserves recently, as well as reading up a lot on medical ninjutsu and genjutsu. I don't want to be the weak link in my team now…"

It had been common knowledge that Naruto had been holding back a lot for several weeks now. As soon as Kurenai started teaching the genin actual offensive genjutsu, Naruto revealed the fact that he knew the Shadow Clone technique in order to provide everyone a target to practice on and for him to practice dispelling genjutsu more. Lee often joined Naruto's clones as he was in the same boat and could not perform the illusions as well. Shino occasionally accompanied the two as well, stating that his clan insects would only allow him to use so much chakra for non-clan based techniques before issues occurred.

Naruto smiled. "Good job Sakura-chan! Way to kick ass!"

Sasuke nodded, though keeping his stoic demeanor. "You're still the weakest member of the team, but at least you aren't useless now…" Unfortunately, almost all respect for Sakura was lost when she regressed into fangirl mode and glomped her crush.

"Ohh Sasuke-kun! You do care!" She swooned as the object of her affection tried to break free from her grip.

"Damn it forehead! Get off my Sasuke-kun!" Shouted Ino, causing everyone in hearing distance, including the unconscious Ghost to sweat drop and cringe at the horrors to come upon the last loyal Uchiha.

o. o. o.

"For the last time, LEAVE ME ALONE KONOHAMARU!" Naruto shouted as he was chased throughout town by a square box with holes on one side that supposedly was supposed to be a rock.

"Not until you play ninja with me like you promised!" Shouted the box.

"Oh my god, a giant rock!" Shouted Ghost as the pair ran past him.

"Honorable grandson! Please stop chasing that ruffian and get back to your studies!" Shouted Ebisu as he chased the two.

"I don't want to study under you, Ebisu-sensei! I want to train with Naruto-nii! He's stronger than you and beat grandpa with a single technique. He even taught it to me a week ago!"

"Konohamaru! I told you not to talk about that in public!" Hissed a frantic Naruto.

"You foul child! What have you taught the honorable grandson?" Panicked Ebisu.

 _'The best technique for spying on women in the bath houses? Also known as the fastest way to get a massive beating from the world's female population aside from being Ero-Sennin or Ero-nii?'_ Thought Naruto in a pessimistic tone as he ran through the streets of Konoha. "A forbidden technique?" Replied the blonde sheepishly. He wasn't exactly lying; the technique WAS a bit of a double edged sword in many situations, and Sarutobi DID write it down in the Forbidden Scroll next to Rasenshuriken…

"What! I will report you to Hokage-sama immediately after I reclaim honorable grandson!" Shouted the unnerved special jōnin.

Naruto sighed as he gathered his chakra to do the one jutsu that would take down the closet pervert without hurting him… much. He wasn't going to get much peace after this. Why did Konohamaru have to pick the middle of town to start stalking him again? "Harem Jutsu!" The blonde shouted as a bunch of his clones appeared out of thin air and then all of them and himself turned into a naked blonde bombshell and started to latch onto the poor instructor. The sad man didn't stand a chance.

o. o. o.

"Can you please repeat yourself? I do not believe I heard you correctly." Stated a rather unnerved Shino after hearing Ghost's suggestions for his training.

Ghost shrugged. "Sure. I said that you should start training with Gai and Lee more often in taijutsu and condition your body more. I do have another training idea for you, but I don't want you to kill yourself or go insane just yet. Maybe in a couple of months."

Shino did not move, trying to comprehend the logic behind Ghost's decision. "I… do not see how this can benefit me in any significant way. Gai-sensei and Lee-san are indeed formidable taijutsu experts, but how would making me their training partner benefit me more than my fellow genin?"

Ghost sighed. "It's because you are an Aburame. Because you are a living hive, you cannot do many jutsu other than your clan's techniques, so you are somewhat in the same boat as Lee. However, your insects also give you an advantage in taijutsu that Lee and Gai cannot obtain…"

Shino was still trying to put the pieces together, but still drawing a blank. He was becoming increasingly interested in Ghost's plan for him. "Go on."

Ghost smiled. "Training in taijutsu is beneficial to both you and your insects. By training your body to high levels, your insects will need to re-organize certain aspects about their life inside you. Try to make them store excess energy, nutrients, stuff like that, in you where your body can't reach them naturally. This can become an additional backup energy source for you in case of an emergency. Also, your family style revolves around elaborate patterns and strategies for your insects to follow, using guerilla style tactics and hiding while your minions do the dirty work. While this is a good strategy, it is near useless against opponents who try to get up front and personal with their attack style, or if you are in an environment that has little to no hiding space. By doing so, you become an effective opponent at all ranges with very little weak points. I'm not telling you to wear green spandex and spend day after day screaming about the flames of youth…"

"FLAMES OF YOUUUUUUTTTTHHHHHH!" Shouted Gai from across the training fields, causing the two to sweat drop.

"… but I do want you to at least keep up with them." Sighed Ghost.

Shino took his time to analyze what his new teacher had advised him on, and came to his conclusion. However, just in case…

"You trained Hinata and Shikamaru during those months in the academy in addition to Naruto, didn't you?"

Ghost raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Hooooooh? What makes you think that?"

Shino adjusted his glasses. "I can tell how strong a person's chakra is with my insects. Hinata-san and Shikamaru-san have both been steadily getting stronger ever since Naruto disappeared from the academy, and you apparently showed up in the village. Also, even though Hinata-san doesn't show it, she is letting some of her real self … slip on occasion, as well as the fact that she and Shikamaru-san were not nearly as… affected by your unique behavior as everyone else in the class."

Ghost chuckled. "Well, you got me. Naruto and Hinata were the prototypes for this project, and I must say that they both turned out quite well."

Shino frowned. "And Shikamaru?"

Ghost shrugged. "I wanted him in on the action as well, but the lazy bastard turned me down. I did tell him to start practicing his chakra control and on his reserves, though. Seems like he followed my advice. Mind you, if you try to tell anyone this, all of us will deny your claims. This is supposed to be a pretty high level secret."

"… How strong are they?" Shino asked inquisitively.

Ghost smiled. "There's a reason they're all on different teams, kid."

The young Aburame nodded slowly, understanding what Ghost had meant before talking about his training again. "You do realize that you will be sending me in with people who will more than likely cause me a great deal of harm in unexpected ways, correct?"

Ghost deadpanned. "How many times have I been used as your medic ninja training test subject again?"

"…Touché."

o. o. o.

"So you're getting your special mission tomorrow?" Asked a worried Hinata, leaning against Naruto as the two watched the sunset on top of the Fourth's head. Naruto's arms were wrapped around her waist and his head was resting on top of hers.

(A/N: aww, so fluffy. Like giant mongoose tail fluffy. … I want a mongoose… they're cool. I wonder if there's a mongoose summoning scroll…? (Ed: Asked the author.))

Naruto sighed. "Yeah. It's going to be labeled as a C-ranked mission, but according to Ero-nii and the old man, it's really going to be a B-rank, if not A."

"Why?" She asked. "Why do you have to go on this mission if it's so dangerous?"

"I have to." Naruto mumbled. "It's complicated, but I'll explain everything when the time is right. Besides, it's not like I'm actually only a genin in strength anyways. You heard Ero-nii. We're both at least low jōnin right now in terms of skill and power, and with the special program in play, everyone else are already as strong as low chūnin. I'll be fine. Besides, I need a break from catching Tora. We had to catch that furry bastard over 20 times this last week. Freaking D-rank missions. A little action will help clear my head."

Hinata giggled. "You would be assigned that mission less if you didn't hold the record for fastest time catching him. It's not my fault your sense of smell combined with your clones is such an effective tracking combination. It's a shame you aren't on my team instead of Kiba-kun. He's nice, but he keeps on trying to see what's under my sweater. It's starting to bug me…" Naruto growled, causing the shy girl to smile more. "Just be careful. We're still just kids, and I'm worried that you might get hurt… more than you can heal." She added, seeing the look on her boyfriend. "I just want you to be safe."

Naruto sighed. "If I wanted to be safe, I should have chosen a different profession Hinata-chan. You know that. Besides, it's not like I have much choice with a giant fur ball in my gut." He looked at Hinata and saw that she was wearing the pale blue and pitch black crystal necklace that he and Ghost got her for her birthday two months earlier. Apparently it was a special composite that only Ghost's brother Crypt could make, using earth manipulation and powerful seals to enable it to store large amounts of energy. The stone is designed to give the energy to only one person, and can only be assigned to its user on their birthday, but can accept juice from anyone, which is why the thing was holding an unusually large amount of chakra from Naruto. Hinata once tried tapping into it for a little extra juice during one of her training exercises and nearly passed out from chakra overload when she failed to realize how much she was dealing with. "Besides, the two we are going after will help us greatly later on. I kinda owe them, even if they don't remember me."

There was a pause as the two simply waited and enjoyed each other's company. "Do Sasuke and Sakura know about this?" She asked.

Naruto sighed. "No, they don't. I know it's cruel of Kakashi-sensei and I to do this to them, but even so, this will be a good experience for them. It will help them realize what they're in for later on in life." Naruto looked at Hinata and smiled. "Let's change the subject. How are Kiba, Shino and Neji handling their training?"

Hinata sighed as she snuggled next to the blonde. "Shino is doing quite well with his training, although I think he may be a bit irritated that he has to be with people as loud as Gai and Lee so much. His taijutsu is coming along nicely, and he's hinted that he finally managed to figure out how to use his insects to store important nutrients in his body for later use. He is getting quite strong, and it won't be long until he forces me to use my real skill against him in our spars. I have a feeling he knows that I've been hiding my potential from the team, but he hasn't said anything about it yet…"

"That just probably means that either he's trying to figure more stuff out or that he trusts you in what you are doing." Said the comfortable blonde.

Hinata slowly nodded as she continued. "Kiba-kun and Akamaru are having a bit of trouble with their training, though there is progress. Kiba-kun is managing to stay in his beast state for longer periods of time and maintaining more of the senses every time he turns back, same thing with Akamaru and his transformed state. It will take a while, but it shouldn't be long until they both become naturally in tune with each other and be able to pull off their clan's jutsu with more efficiency and power. Afterwards, Hana-sensei said she would take over his training. I think she's going to do elemental training with him and Akamaru…"

Naruto nodded. "Makes sense. Even though Kiba is an idiot, Hana-sensei does care about him since she is his sister."

"As for Neji nii-san." Hinata continued, getting a bit depressed now. "I don't really know. He still avoids me and looks at me with disdain. I know he's been reading that book on reading muscles to predict what an opponent will do next, but I don't know how well he is doing…"

Naruto hugged Hinata. "Don't worry Hinata-chan. He's just busy with that giant rod up his ass. He'll see common sense one day, and if he doesn't, one of us will just beat the living daylights out of him until he does. I know you don't like violence, but sometimes it's the only way that works."

Hinata closed her lavender eyes as Naruto's arms encompassed her. "Thank you Naruto-kun. I know you're right, but it's still hard. "

Naruto sighed. "That's what I'm here for Hinata-chan. To help people fix their mistakes…"

o. o. o.

10 more reviews! 10 more reviews! WOOOOOO!

So. Yeah. I updated my profile, and Waltz's bio is up. His story is a bit more depressing than everyone else's, but I wanted to make sure that my OCs weren't all sunshine and pop rocks mixed with soda and cocaine. I put a lot of thought into the history and development of my characters, so don't expect some half assed super OC characters like in some other stories.

I'm looking at my polls and I see that so far Friday updates are staying… but it's **really** tempting to switch to Monday considering how many reviews and hits (to keep it short, I got a fuck ton of each) I got when I reposted earlier this week. I'll stick to Friday for now, and the poll is still up, but the Monday option is very tempting…

I haven't gotten any art submissions yet, but the offer is still up, so if anyone wants to attempt to make my characters, go ahead. Rules are on chapter 17. Winner gets a short cameo in a chapter of my story.

That's it for now guys. PEACE!


	20. The thing I made right after finals… arg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 20: The thing I made right after finals… arg.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

It was a nice and peaceful morning in Konoha. The birds were chirping, shinobi were doing their jobs as quietly and quickly as possible, the merchants were getting ready to set up shop, and it seemed like all was right with the world.

It was driving twelve particular genin positioned in a defensive formation in training ground 82 insane.

"What do you think he's going to do to us this time?" Whimpered a rather frantic Chōji, who was looking all around him as if he was being hunted.

"He's biding his time. Like a predator." Replied an equally on edge Kiba.

"Why do we have to have that nutcase as our teacher?" Groaned Sakura as she scanned in another direction.

"Because his flames of youth are unlike anything I have ever seen before… they are simply out of control." Said Lee as he mimicked his friends.

"Out of control? That's the understatement of the year." Snorted Tenten, who had several of her new customized kunai out, ones with special elemental seals on them. "Remember when he triggered that huge pitfall with sharpened bamboo shoots underneath all of us a week ago? Testing our tree walking skills my ass."

Sasuke snorted. "Or the time he blew up that hidden package of extremely potent itching powder upwind of us…"

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP! Two off key and clearly out of tune foghorns went off in the middle of the group, blasting them all in separate directions with their hands over their ears and their eyes wide in shock and pain. "Or the time he blasted two foghorns right in the middle of you little bastards when you were too busy looking outside the group to bother to check what was behind you?" Chuckled a sadistic Ghost as he held a small air horn in each hand.

"Damn it Ero-nii!" Shouted Naruto.

"I can't hear anything!" Yelled Ino.

"I think my ears are bleeding. Troublesome." Groaned Shikamaru.

Ghost shrugged. "Not my fault you guys can't detect me even with two Hyūga, an Aburame, an Inuzuka, and the idiot who's been training under me for almost a year." The man watched in amusement as the mentioned children grew a tick mark in reaction to his not so veiled insult.

"Hey! I can't find you if you keep on hiding your scent!" Kiba growled.

"Just because I know you're nearby doesn't mean I can tell where you are." Growled Naruto.

Neji and Hinata kept quiet, unwilling to admit that the man's stealth skills were able to elude even their Byakugan.

"It's very difficult when the person we're trying to find is as unstable as you." Shino commented as he dug at his ear.

Ghost chuckled. "Oh, just wait until my sister Shadow and my brother Crypt get here. I'm only mildly crazy compared to those two."

"I'll believe it when I see it." Muttered Neji. Little did the boy know that he had just written his peace of mind's death warrant, because Murphy's Law enjoys hanging around Ghost's family.

"W-Why are we here anyway?" Asked Hinata. "T-Today's one of o-our team training days."

Ghost put away his air horns as he looked at all his students. "Right. Nearly forgot. Since you ankle biters have been getting so strong lately, your other sensei and I have decided to give you all the go-ahead to do C-ranked missions. However, due to the program being a collaboration between all your teams, there's going to be a few ground rules regarding the C+ ranked missions now that all of you are going to be doing them."

Lee raised his hand. "Ghost-sensei! I must ask why my team is here as well, as we have already done several C-ranked missions!"

Ghost sighed. "All questions will be answered at the end of class, skullcap." Several sniggers were heard. "So, this is how things are going to happen. There will be at most two teams out on C-ranked missions at once while the program is up to ensure that there is some balanced teaching occurring. We have already decided that Team 7 will be the first to go out on a C-rank due to their impressive rate of growth and due to Kakashi's skill in case something becomes FUBAR."

"What do you mean by that?" Ino asked curiously.

Ghost shrugged. "I'm just saying that sometimes people lie about the ranking of a mission so that they can pay less. Happens every now and then. Part of the reason why you guys get jōnin-sensei instead of chūnin-sensei, better chance of surviving in case shit happens."

Sasuke stared at Ghost, "So when can we get our new mission?" Everyone there could tell that there was some excitement in his voice.

"Today," Naruto whooped, "If you can catch Tora again by… oh, say noon." Ghost smirked as he tossed the very well-known D-rank mission scroll to Team 7, who groaned. "I'd get moving if I were you. It's already 10."

Naruto's eyes twitched as he glared at Ghost, ignoring the sniggers that many of the other genin were giving his team. "I'll remember this." He growled.

"What are you talking to?" Asked a voice from outside the circle. All the genin turned to see Ghost leaning against a tree several dozen yards away from them, smiling in an extremely unsettling manner.

"Wait." Tenten said. "If you're over there, then who…" She turned to the Ghost in the middle of the group, who poofed in a cloud of smoke and in its place emerged a life size model cow covered in exploding tags.

"COOOOOOOWWWWW!" Shouted Kiba as he and everyone else in his age group stared to turn away and run as fast as they could from the suicidal model bovine.

BOOOOOM!

Ghost chuckled as his students were blown in multiple directions at once. "There are no innocents. There are only the hunted, and the cows."

"You have serious problems." Hana deadpanned as she walked out of the forest with Anko and the rest of the jōnin-sensei to see Ghost laughing at the sky maniacally in front of a smoldering crater surrounded by their genin.

o. o. o.

"Here's the cat." Naruto said bluntly as he practically shoved the slightly paralyzed Tora back into his owner's plump chest area.

"Oh! My dear Tora! I missed you so much and… Tora? What have you done to my dear Tora?" Shouted the Daimyō's wife.

Sasuke sighed. "Dobe here snapped and used some paralysis poison on your cat after it scratched him in the face the third time on the way here."

"Thank Anko-sensei." Naruto said in a relieved and slightly mischievous tone.

"Naruto…" Groaned Iruka, putting his hands over his eyes.

"I'm telling you, you can get arrested if the animal rights activists get hold of this…" Growled Sakura.

"And I'm telling you that I already have enough scratch marks on my face thank you very much." Huffed the blonde. "There is a limit to how many scars a person can have on their face before it just looks creepy."

The plump woman raised an eyebrow as the other adults sweat dropped at the conversation. "What other scratch marks? I only see the six that you normally have on your face."

"I heal very fast. Otherwise there would be lines all over my face now." Naruto replied in a bored tone.

"It makes you the best person to play the role of my human meat shield, dobe." Sasuke joked sarcastically. He had been starting to be more open lately, so it wasn't unusual for him to crack a sarcastic joke every now and then these days. Of course this usually led the way to an argument between the blonde and the duck butt headed lad.

"Oh no." Groaned Sakura.

"Here we go again." Sighed Kakashi.

The Daimyō's wife at this point had realized that she should not be here for this and quietly paid the fee for the mission and snuck out of the room without anyone noticing. (A/N: Yeah… I thought that was kind of odd too, considering everyone there is at least a chūnin in skill … osmosis?)

"Oh? Does that mean that the great and powerful Uchiha is so unskilled that he needs to cower behind me to save him? I'm so honored." Naruto countered with sarcasm flowing from his mouth before putting on a shocked expression. "… or does the Uke really just want a better look at my butt? You sick bastard!"

"For the hundredth time dobe, I'M NOT GAY!" Yelled Sasuke, stomping towards the grinning blonde before the Third coughed loudly to gain everyone's attention.

"If I could have your attention for a moment." Sighed the sweat dropping old man. "I would like to assign you your first C-ranked mission sometime today…"

"Oh thank you lord!" Naruto cried. "A nice, safe, and interesting mission for once."

"Baka. You do realize that there is a good chance that we will be fighting people this time, right?" Asked Sakura skeptically.

"Yeah, but at least we're not trying to capture and carry our opponents several inches from our face this time." Naruto countered.

"He has a point." Sighed Kakashi.

"Hold on a second." Interrupted Iruka, gaining everyone's attention. "You guys just got the rank of genin a little over three months ago, and yet you're already getting a C-ranked mission? Hokage-sama, I must object to this decision. They are too young and inexperienced to do anything over D-ranked missions yet and…"

"I would disagree with that statement." Kakashi interrupted. "Iruka, no doubt you have heard of this new training program that we are testing this year, correct?" Iruka nodded. "Well, I for one can assure you that this program has yielded very promising results. It has been decided by all the sensei involved in the program that all three of the rookie genin teams this year have already earned their right to go on C-ranked missions. My team just happens to be the first."

Iruka stared at Kakashi, frowning at what he had just heard. "Aside from you, Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai, who else is teaching them?"

Sakura walked up. "In addition to the assigned team Jōnin-sensei, we also have Anko-sensei, Hana-sensei and Ghost-sensei teaching us various skills Iruka-sensei. Right now I am focusing my skills in genjutsu, which is being taught by Kurenai-sensei and Kakashi-sensei and my medical training from Hana-sensei. Sasuke-kun is being taught advanced ninjutsu and taijutsu from Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei, as well as dabbling in kenjutsu since we don't have a teacher specializing in that area." Sarutobi and Iruka nodded, glancing at the sword across Sasuke's back (pretty much the same as his sword from Shippuden). "As for Naruto… well, I don't really know what he's studying most of the time, but he's pretty good at detecting people around us, I've seen him talking with Kakashi-sensei and Asuma-sensei about stuff to do in various situations, and I've seen him training every now and then with Gai-sensei's team in taijutsu, so I can tell you that he's at least competent in that area. Most of the time though he's screwing around with his clones and Ghost-sensei… so he's probably got some other skills that he STILL won't tell us." The girl shot Naruto a dirty look.

Naruto shrugged. "Hey, what kind of ninja would I be if I didn't have my own stash of secrets lying around?"

"We're supposed to be a team, dobe." Sasuke said. "That means we share each other's secrets."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Okay then. You first, though." Sasuke stepped back, not expecting that reply, and was somewhat unnerved by the look that Naruto was giving him… it was like he knew what some of his secrets were already, and was testing him in a way.

The dobe was definitely holding out on his team… or at least him and Sakura.

"Enough." Growled a tired Sarutobi. "Either you three keep quiet or I'll give the mission to Team 8..."

"We'll be good." The three children said in unison.

"Iruka, I know that you are worried about their well-being, but I have received nothing but positive feedback from all the teachers involved in the program." Sarutobi sighed. "They are ready for a C-ranked mission." He took out a mission scroll as Iruka attempted to keep his emotions in check.

"So what are we going to do?" Naruto asked in a hyper manner. "We gonna assassinate someone? Steal information or powerful artifacts? Protect a princess or some lord? How about…?"

Sarutobi chuckled at Naruto's antics. It was difficult for him to remember that the blonde was actually 17 years old mentally. "Well, you do have guard duty… but it isn't going to be a daimyō or a princess. In fact, here he is now…"

The doors behind the team opened to grace them to the sight of a tanned and very inebriated aged man with a straw hat and glasses. The smell of alcohol was coming off him quite strongly, as Naruto proved by gagging slightly and covering his nose with his collar. Naruto was in the middle of training to get rid of his weakness since his sense of smell wasn't THAT strong, but it apparently wasn't enough to protect the poor boy from the being that is known as Tazuna.

"This is it?" Slurred the man as he looked at his future guards. "A cyclops and three brats? The pink one looks like she'll keel over as soon as a fight starts…"

Sakura started to erratically make some hand signs when Sasuke stopped her. "Not now, Sakura. At least wait until the mission is over before you start to scar him for life." Sakura slowly nodded as everyone in the room sweat dropped.

"Who the hell is this?" Retorted Naruto, in a disappointed tone that would have fooled anyone that didn't know he was faking it.

Sarutobi sighed, keeping his part of the charade up. "This is Tazuna. A bridge builder from the Land of Wave and your next employer. He needs an escort to protect him from bandits as he travels back home."

"A bridge builder?" Sasuke asked incredulously.

Sakura was mute as she processed this information.

Naruto was making various random gestures fueled by his frustration before he slumped his shoulders in defeat. "At least it's better than getting that damn cat again…"

Kakashi sighed. "If that is all, I will do the paperwork to get this mission started. Team 7, you are to meet in front of the main gates in two hours. Use that time to gather your belongings and any supplies you believe are necessary. The mission should take approximately two weeks to complete, so pack accordingly."

"Yes, sensei." The three genin responded in unison before exiting the room through the door. Sarutobi sighed.

"I'm going to miss these days when their gone."

"The days when they are young and full of innocent hope Hokage-sama?" Iruka asked curiously.

"Like hell I am. I'm going to miss the days of them actually using the damn door to get in and out of my office. Everyone either uses some kind of jutsu to phase inside of the building's structure or crash in through the window these days. I actually believe that I'm going to get a heart attack one of these days because of it. More than likely it's going to happen when Naruto starts to join the club." The old man grumbled, causing everyone else in the room to sweat drop.

o. o. o.

"Here. Slip this on Zabuza's body when he's out cold in addition to the link." Ghost said as he gave Kakashi a small scroll. "You might want to stick in a 'Read me first' letter just in case so you and blondie can meet with him or Haku before the second fight."

Kakashi nodded as he took the scroll from his ally. "What's in here?"

Ghost smiled. "S-class motivation."

o. o. o.

"So that's pretty much going to be our standard defensive formation… any suggestions?" Naruto asked as he finished describing team formations in case they were attacked to Sakura and Sasuke as they waited for Kakashi and Tazuna in front of the main gate. While the two would have normally ignored or insulted the blonde for taking charge like this in the previous time, Naruto had managed to earn enough of their respect to have their attention when he was serious this time through.

Sasuke nodded. "Not bad, dobe. The plan seems decent enough."

Sakura sighed. "I probably could come up with something better if I had enough time, but it isn't completely stupid. Those lessons with Asuma and Kakashi-sensei must be paying off."

Naruto shrugged before turning his head to the village. "What can I say, I have a knack for making decent strategies on the fly. By the way, Kakashi-sensei and Tazuna are here."

The other two genin turned toward the direction that Naruto was pointing to see the two adults walking toward them. "Sorry I'm late." Kakashi said cheerfully as Naruto covered his sensitive nose again. "I had to look for our client who was too inebriated to find where the main gate is."

Sakura sighed. "The only time his excuse is actually valid and it's _still_ almost impossible to believe."

"Hear, hear." Chanted her teammates in unison.

"Well, since it seems like everyone is all packed up and ready to go, shall we depart to the Land of Waves?" Kakashi asked cheerfully, clearly ignoring his student's latest remarks.

"Hell yes!" Naruto shouted, punching the air.

"Let's go already." Sighed Sasuke.

"We're all ready to leave at any time, Sensei." Sakura confirmed.

"I'm gonna die, aren't I?" Tazuna slurred to Kakashi.

"Probably." The Copy Nin replied cheerfully with his one eye smiling as the group walked outside of the village.

o. o. o.

"Man, this sucks." Groaned Kiba as he picked up some trash from the street. "The dead last's team gets to go on a big mission and we're all stuck here cleaning trash off the street."

"K-Kiba-kun, can you please stop insulting N-Naruto-kun." Hinata mumbled, trying to keep her temper in check.

Kiba snorted. "Why? It's not like it isn't true. The idiot is always yelling his head off and screwing around."

Shino sighed. "The same could be said for Ghost-sensei, and we all know that he is far more dangerous than we first assumed. Even though we have yet to see what he can do, he is clearly in charge of our education when he is not being… punished by Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei."

"Heh. I don't know what sis sees in that guy." Kiba paused. "But you're right about sensei being strong Shino. That time we covered killing intent …" Kiba shivered.

Hinata shivered too, remembering that particular session. "A-And remember Kiba-kun, Naruto-kun is practically G-Ghost-sensei's personal disciple. He is almost certainly hiding a lot from everyone." ' _Except me.'_

Shino nodded. "Ghost-sensei is more intelligent, cunning, and logical than we give him credit. I would not doubt it if Naruto was the most powerful one out of the twelve of us…"

Kiba laughed as he picked up another bottle. "I'll believe it when I see it."

o. o. o.

"Gah!" Yelled Ino as she spat the paint out of her mouth. "Damn it! I wanted to get a better mission than this, but NOOO, forehead's team gets the damn mission. Stupid Sakura…"

"Will you stop being so damn troublesome and finish painting? We're almost done anyways." Sighed Shikamaru as he finished up coloring the wall he was working on.

"I personally don't mind these missions." Said Chōji. "I find them relaxing. Plus, I get more time to work on the new technique I'm working on. Dad says that he'll get me my armor early if I manage to perfect it soon."

Ino paused from her work again to turn to Chōji. A set of Akimichi armor was like a rite of passage for the family, and was only given to those who had proven themselves to their family. "Really? I know that your new technique is supposed to be pretty powerful, but is it really that important?"

Chōji nodded. "Yeah. Dad says that it covers one of the big flaws in some of our family's techniques and it will help out many of our future generations if I can get it down and teach it correctly. Even if it is slightly elemental dependent, it's not enough to deter other people in my family who aren't earth types." He finished covering the last white spot on the wall in front of him. "I'm done with my side. Are we done yet? I'm getting kind of hungry."

Ino sighed as she turned to finish her side of the wall. Ever since Anko started to train her, her body's been getting more muscular and flexible, and her reaction time has skyrocketed. Also, she's developed an innate hatred for snakes and kunai. However, she still seemed miles behind her two teammates. "Just give me a minute to finish Chōji, and then we can all go get something to eat. I'm thinking barbecue."

"All right Ino!" Chōji cheered as Shikamaru groaned.

o. o. o.

Neji grunted as he deflected Lee's punches. It was starting to become more of a challenge to maintain his undefeated position in his squad as both his teammates grew more powerful by leaps and bounds. Ever since the new training started, Lee had been progressively getting stronger and faster… well, more so than normal anyways. Tenten too had been growing exceptionally powerful, as her studies in the sealing arts made more headway and her weaponry entered a whole new field of dangerous with electrified blades and exploding kunai by the dozen. In fact, she had taken her new skills to market and had seen incredible profits ever since then. However, her pride and joy was the sword that Scabbard had given her family as a gift of faith and as thanks for the trade transaction. While the shape and design of the blade, pommel, and guard were nothing to brag about, Tenten's eyes and skill could tell that the sword was the work of a master. The metal used, the balance, and the edge of the blade were all nothing short of perfect, and she often practiced her kenjutsu with it, though she claimed to not be worthy enough to wield it in battle just yet.

Unknown to anyone else (except Ghost, who occasionally spies on his students for blackmail material), she had also been secretly teaching Sasuke kenjutsu in her spare time after he rather reluctantly asked her to teach him. For the most part Sasuke's progress was very impressive to Tenten, however she did need to strong arm him occasionally when his attitude became too annoying. Needless to say, she too unknowingly became part of the 'Humble the Uchiha' plan. That year dealing with Neji wasn't all for waste after all.

Neji had just recovered from a rather strong kick from Lee and was about to retaliate when Gai stopped the match. "Enough! Very good! All of you are improving faster than I would have ever thought possible! You all make me very proud for me to be your sensei! Your flames of youth are bigger than they have ever been!" The grown man started to cry.

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted, mimicking the man that he physically mimicked. "I am proud to call you my sensei! Your flames of youth are greater than anyone else's!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-Sensei!"

"Oh god." Groaned Tenten as she walked away.

"Hn." Grunted Neji as he followed his teammate and tried to block out his sensei and clone's antics. Once the two were a fair distance away from the rest of their team, Tenten decided to strike up a conversation with her teammate.

"So… Lee's been getting pretty strong lately. He's catching up to you pretty quick."

Neji glared at Tenten. "Humph. It doesn't matter. Fate has already decided that he will not beat me. A loser will never beat a genius."

Tenten sighed. "You do realize what would happen to you if Ghost-sensei heard you talking about fate being all powerful again." She smirked as she watched Neji shiver unconsciously. No matter how stiff a person is, there will always be a reaction from them if their pants suddenly explode with obscene amounts of whip cream and sprinkles. "Besides, you heard what the others said about their dead last, that Naruto kid. Ever since he started training under Ghost-sensei, which he did six months before everyone else, they can't tell how strong he is. Some of them even think that he could be the strongest one out of all of us."

Neji frowned as the logic of Tenten's speech registered in his head. Even though his training, which was simply reading a book on advanced muscle reading, did seem a bit subpar compared to everyone else's in his age group, the results were still significant. Because he now knew what to look for with more precision, his reaction and response time had increased dramatically, in addition to his power of observation. To be perfectly honest, it was one of the few reasons why he could still keep up with Lee, who was clearly just as fast as he was these days. He had also observed the so-called dead last of the most recent year and was honestly baffled as to how he could be considered to be so now. The blonde's chakra coils were among the largest he had ever seen, and that clone technique he used was beyond useful. He had heard that the so-called idiot was also a fair way through his wind composition training and could already use it to augment his thrown kunai and shuriken. To be perfectly frank, Neji had assumed that the pink haired girl on the blonde's team or the blonde girl were the dead lasts of their age group. Those two appeared to be even weaker than his cousin. No matter what anyone said about her, he would still believe her to be weak until he saw her skill with his own two eyes.

"…I'll believe it when I see it." He mumbled. (The fool.)

o. o. o.

"AAAAAaaaaahhhhhh." Anko moaned in ecstasy as Ghost rubbed her back as she rested on her bed. Several inches next to her, Hana was getting a similar treatment from a clone of Ghost. Both women were topless at the moment, but were used to being so in Ghost's presence, both knowing the real reason why the man wore glasses in the first place. It had only been recently that the two women had gotten used to the massages enough to not rape Ghost as soon as his hands left their backs. The man liked the kinky stuff yes, but mostly when he was on top, not the other way around.

"MMMMMmmmmmm." Hana mumbled into a pillow as the clone got rid of a knot that was in her back for a while.

"Damn I'm good." Ghost chuckled to himself as Anko arched her back and the relaxed in a blissful daze, Hana mimicking Anko's gesture moments later. Canceling out his clone and getting off of Anko, Ghost stepped to the side of the room and got two heated up towels and laid them over the two women's backs.

"You really know how to spoil a girl." Purred Anko as she snuggled into her arms and smiled.

Ghost chuckled as he sat in an empty corner of the bed nearest to Anko's feet, "It comes with being a couple thousand years old. I didn't spend the entire time learning how to sneak around, steal panties, and kick ass you know."

"I have to say," Smiled Hana. "You're pretty damn cute for a man that should in all rights be less than dust right now."

"I'll take that as a compliment." deadpanned Ghost.

Anko chuckled. "Ironic. I studied and was experimented on by a man who wants to achieve immortality and want to kill him, yet I'm being pampered by another who has gotten immortality and I'm practically head over heels for him."

Ghost flinched at the comment before sighing. "You do know I never asked or wanted to be immortal right? The snake bastard is making a horrible mistake trying to achieve eternal life. Sure, he might master every technique known to man, but in the end the constant existence will drive him mad. I'm personally surprised that I managed to last this long as well as I have."

"But you weren't alone the entire time, were you?" Hana asked curiously.

Ghost sighed and looked out a window, smiling sadly. "…That's a really good question Hana. One that I still haven't really found a good answer for…"

o. o. o.

"So then Ero-nii and Anko-sensei jump in out of nowhere and start throwing all these kunai at me, right as I'm about to take a leak, with my pants down and everything! I still don't know how I managed to keep everything intact, especially since my…"

"Will you SHUT UP!" Sakura yelled, pounding Naruto on the top of his head and stopping his story from progressing any further. "Some of us don't want to hear your disgusting stories!"

Tazuna chuckled. "I don't know, it was pretty funny in my books. I might come back some time later and meet this Ero-nii and Anko-sensei. They sound like good drinking buddies."

Kakashi chuckled. "They might be out of your league if you want drinking buddies, Tazuna. Those two are notorious for raising a storm when they get plastered."

"All the more reason to join them!" Laughed said old man heartedly before downing another few gulps of his sake.

Sasuke sighed as his teammates argued… well, more like Sakura yelling at Naruto and Naruto trying to get Sakura to listen to his apology so he wouldn't get hit again. It was a bit noisy for his taste, but it was also somewhat comforting to be in this sort of atmosphere.

As the group walked down the road, Naruto and Kakashi spotted a large puddle to the side of the path. The two glanced at each other before continuing on their way, slowly positioning themselves.

"Hey Sakura-chan." Naruto asked with a smile on his face. "Remember that kunai throwing contest we had back in the academy? You know, the one where I won and you got third place?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow as she stared at the blonde before both rose up in recognition and stumbled. "O-oh yeah. I remember that. Sasuke-kun got second, but only by a point. You got lucky, that's all." Sakura edged her way to Tazuna as they spoke, her hands twitching a little.

"Humph. You did get lucky that day dobe." Sasuke growled. "I was sick that day. Remember?"

Naruto smirked as they approached the water a few feet ahead of them. "Yeah. There were puddles of snot coming out of your nose, one for each nostril. Even then, your fangirls were pampering the infested ground you walked on."

They passed the puddle. Sakura started to rub her hands together. Tazuna was right behind Sasuke and in front of Sakura. Kakashi was in the back, but was only barely behind Naruto.

"It's not my fault they follow me like retarded lost puppies." Sighed the emo.

Shink.

The group turned around to hear the sound of flowing metal as a huge chain wrapped around a surprised Kakashi and tore him into bits. "Kakashi-sensei!" The genin yelled as the two assailants emerged from the puddle they had just passed.

"One down." Growled the closest ninja, flexing the clawed gauntlet that he was wearing.

"Four to go." The other whispered as he dashed towards a seemingly surprised Naruto, ready to strike… only to stop dead short as if he was held back by something. While he was charging, Sasuke had managed to pin their chain to a tree behind them with a kunai and shuriken.

"Humph. These weaklings are ninja?" Sasuke asked. "I don't even need to use my sword against them."

Before the ninja that had almost attacked Naruto could do anything to dislodge his chain, Naruto had dropped his helpless act and sucker punched his foe in the solar plexus, knocking him out cold. "'Bout damn time you did something, asshole. I almost had to drop my act and do something if you hadn't taken your damn sweet time."

Sasuke smirked briefly as he turned his attention to the still conscious missing-nin, who had just disconnected the chain from his gauntlet. "You mean that scared look was all an act? I doubt it, dobe."

 _'Damn, this is bad. I have to take out the bridge builder now!'_ Thought the second ninja as he rushed towards Sakura and Tazuna, barely dodging Sasuke and Naruto on the way.

"Shit!" Swore Sasuke.

"Sakura!" Shouted Naruto.

The ninja swiped at Sakura, tearing her clothes apart and gouging her deeply across the stomach. A fatal wound, even without the poison. The bridge builder stumbled back, but it was too late, and he was slashed across the neck and chest, blood and scraps of flesh flying out of his wounds… until his and the pink haired ninja's bodies faded into thin air.

"Genjutsu? Shi-" The ninja's cry of frustration was cut off as Sasuke hit him hard in the back of the head, knocking him out.

"You can come out now Tazuna, Sakura, Kakashi." Sasuke called out to the woods on the side of the road. "We knocked them out. That was a pretty low move, leaving us out there to take care of those ninja by ourselves Kakashi."

Kakashi chuckled as he walked out of the forest a few feet behind the group. "I wanted to see how you three would handle yourselves in case you were all attacked, which I might add you did quite well. Your teamwork skills were quite impressive."

"That still didn't excuse you from giving us a heart attack." Growled Sakura as she and a shaken Tazuna approached the group from farther up the road. "If I hadn't detected that genjutsu you put on your replacement, I would have freaked out and lost concentration on MY genjutsu."

"What… what the fuck just happened?" Asked Tazuna in a daze as Kakashi and Naruto gathered the two unconscious ninja and tied them to a tree.

"To make things quick and simple: Dobe detected the two ninja ahead of us and let us know with a code we made up earlier, instructing us on what position we were to take and how many enemies we were up against, also hinting that they were also hiding in the puddle." Sasuke sighed.

Sakura nodded. "I was in 'third place', meaning I was to stay with you and hold back while the others do the fighting. We had agreed that this would be my standard position for this mission as I'm still not that capable in direct combat yet and my genjutsu skills would be best used to keep you alive and out of danger."

"I was in second, which means that I was to provide supporting attacks, such as kunai and ninjutsu while dobe does most of the fighting up close. I would prefer to do the same, but the idiot tends to be right about these kind of things, so I went along with it. Besides, I have the best aim with my kunai and shuriken in our age group aside from that girl Tenten, and I also have a decent stock of ranged ninjutsu to use as well, so I'm pretty good in either position."

"The dobe was first, which meant that he was up close and personal with the enemy. It's best suited for him since he heals very fast and is decent in taijutsu, but his real purpose most of the time is to be a distraction so that the opponents pay less attention to Sakura and I. That's why it was so easy for Sakura to hide you and herself in her genjutsu and for me to pin them down with their own weapon without them detecting anything."

Tazuna took the information in with wide eyes. "But… what if they didn't use a chained weapon to hold them down? I don't think kunai and shuriken would be able to stop those two…"

Sasuke smirked as he took in a deep breath and exhaled a slow and small stream of flame from his mouth. "I have other options…"

"Sasuke-kun! You're sooo cool!" Sakura squealed with hearts in her eyes, much to Sasuke's displeasure.

"Showoff." grumbled Naruto as he tightened the last knot around the two enemy ninja.

"I see that you're still practicing your fire release without hand seals." Kakashi mused as he walked towards the group with Naruto right behind him. "You've gotten better."

"Hn." The last Uchiha smirked, getting an eye roll from Naruto.

"Wasn't there another reason why you ditched us like that Kakashi-sensei? It seems kind of irresponsible for you to just leave us like that just to test us…" Naruto asked, silently pleading that they would all stop stroking Sasuke's ego already.

"Hn? Oh yes. Of course." Kakashi chuckled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head before calming down and getting slightly serious. "Well, in addition to seeing how you three handle yourselves, I also wanted to see what the goal of these ninja was." Kakashi turned to Tazuna. "They seemed to be pretty interested in you in particular, Tazuna. Is there something you forgot to tell us?"

Tazuna started to sweat profusely as the four ninja around him stared at him intently. It wasn't until Naruto started to make his eyes glow at an increasing pace that the man finally broke. Kakashi mentally patted Naruto on the back for his excellent use of his new abilities… and silently wished that he could do the same thing. The Sharingan was nice and all, but making your eyes glow like that had its own uses… and it was simply just damn cool.

"Fine. I'll tell you everything." The old man sighed in defeat. "Have you heard of a man named Gatō? The wealthy businessman that's heavily invested in shipping and trading?"

Kakashi's eye widened in surprise, impressing Naruto with his acting skills. "Wait. You aren't telling us that one of the richest and most prominent men on the planet wants you dead, are you? Why would someone as big as Gatō want you killed?"

Tazuna slumped over. "My country is entering a state of severe economic depression. Gatō's been controlling the trade routes in and out of my country for almost five years now, and he's practically drained the entire population dry. Right now, I'm in charge of building a bridge that will reach the mainland, which will increase trade between our country and the outside without depending on Gatō's ships. It's threatening his hold on our country…"

"And with it complete, he won't be able to control trade anymore, and thus lose control of your country…" Nodded Kakashi in understanding. "But if that's true, why didn't you just hire a ninja from one of the hidden villages to kill Gatō or at least pay for a B-ranked mission to get better guards?"

Tazuna sighed. "It's because we're poor. We don't have enough money to pay for anything over a C-ranked mission, and assassinations are usually worth the equivalent of an A-rank mission. Plus, if we kill Gatō now, all the hooligans and gang members that he brought into the country will be set loose and ruin our home even more without any chance of aid. The bridge is our last hope for a better and peaceful future."

"Hnnn." Kakashi mumbled to himself as he put on a thoughtful pose. "I see what you are trying to say, but you paid for a C-ranked mission when this is clearly a B-ranked or above. We will take you back to Konoha and give you your money ba-"

"Like hell we are!" Naruto shouted, knowing that this was the time to convince his teammates to take the plunge. "This old bastard needs our help and like hell I'm going to sit by while some rich spoiled bastard ruins an entire damn country! We're part of the new training program and so far we've proven to be miles ahead of almost anyone else when they were our age. Ero-nii secretly told me that we are all at least low chūnin level in skill, and that all we need is some good experience to match it and we'll be almost assured a promotion during the next Chūnin Exams. I'm not going to let this opportunity pass us by, especially when people are being hurt if we don't."

Naruto turned and pointed to the two tied up ninja. "Those two are the Demon Brothers, C-ranked missing-nin from Kirigakure that are well known for their assassination and teamwork tactics. I recognize their profile from the Bingo Book. If we can take out two chūnin-level missing-nin that easily, I think that we're ready for this mission. Sasuke, Sakura, what do you think?"

Sasuke frowned for a moment in concentration before looking up smirking. "I'm in. Dobe's right. We aren't your normal batch of genin, and this will be a great chance to get stronger."

Sakura stalled before nervously looking at Kakashi. "I-I agree with Sasuke-kun and Naruto. We can't let this horror continue any longer than it has, and it would be a great experience…"

Kakashi sighed in mock defeat. "Well, it looks like I'm outnumbered. I hope you three don't regret this later. There's a good chance we're going to go up against stronger enemies this time…"

Naruto smirked. "Too bad for them. I already made my promise and I don't break them. It's my ninja way and like hell I'm going to go against it. Besides, we have the advantage anyways. All they'll see is a bunch of noobie genin. They won't expect us to be as strong as chūnin. Besides, we have you, Kakashi-sensei. Don't tell me that the legendary Copy-Nin is afraid of a simple B-ranked mission?"

Kakashi eye smiled. "Just for that, you can enjoy a nice training session with me after the mission is over."

Naruto pouted as Sasuke smirked and Sakura giggled. "Oh, goodie."

o. o. o.

Scabbard walked out of his room and sighed. Traveling across time and space was an extremely exhausting endeavor, especially on the return trips. Sauntering through his home, he looked for the one member of the family he needed to talk to at the moment.

"Hey Scab! You're back!" Shouted a gleeful Shadow, before she pounced on the man and put him in a headlock while simultaneously pressing some nerve clusters. "You left just as Crypt went bloody DCD on us. Waltz and I were in the hospital for a damn week!" She growled. "You better have some good souvenirs from your trip, brother…"

"Ironically enough, I need to speak with Crypt." Scabbard managed to breathe out. "It's work related, and I need to get this over with soon."

Shadow loosened her grip on Scabbard, looking at him curiously. "Oh? You haven't had a job that required Crypt's help in a while. What is it?"

Scabbard sighed. "Sorry. It's on a need to know basis right now. You know the dance."

Shadow grumbled as she got back up, helping Scabbard as well. "Yeah, yeah. Crypt's in his room screwing around. You better have a good explanation for your trip, Scab. You know I don't like to be kept in the dark about this kind of stuff."

"Ironic, isn't it." Deadpanned Scabbard as he walked towards Crypt's bedroom door and opened it, revealing a messed up room with dirt and holes into the ground everywhere, the mattress torn apart and clothes scattered all over the place. However, the adjacent room was surprisingly bare and clean. In the middle of the mess lay Crypt, giggling like an idiot and rolling on the ground in his straightjacket trench coat. Scabbard closed the door behind him and pressed the hidden button that would sound proof the room.

"I'm planting leprechauns!" The insane man claimed.

"Silly stuff later brother, we have work to do. I believe you will be very interested in this next job." Scabbard claimed as he took out a small vial of blood. The vial itself was made of a special material that was hard and transparent like glass, but edible and didn't shatter into jagged edges. He tossed the vial to Crypt, who caught it in his mouth and ate the container, swishing the blood in his mouth as it broke.

"Hmmmm." The crazy man mumbled in a much deeper and darker tone. "Male… early teens, A-type, roughly 5'2, black hair, good physical condition. Strong energy reserves, eyes… heh, hehehehehAHAHAHAAAA!" Crypt burst out laughing, dark and sadistically with no self-control as Scabbard watched with a bored look on his face. "You finally found it?" Crypt asked in a violent and insane tone.

"Ghost did, by complete accident." Scabbard answered in a matter-of-fact tone, clearly unaffected with his brother's severe change in personality. "Apparently, something changed from the original theme and forced Ghost to pull a Black Phoenix. Right now, Naruto's squad should be on the Zabuza mission."

Crypt smirked. "That so? And the ordered seal?"

Scabbard nodded as he took out the scroll Hinata had handed him earlier and placed it on the ground in the clean room. "In here are several blood samples from the Hyūga clan, both sealed and not, as well as information on their Caged Bird Seal, and several dozen scroll on the various instructions and levels of sealing in that world. We will arrive in their universe in roughly two months, which is how much time you will have to learn their sealing style and create the new seal. It will be a genetic protection seal, focused on the eyes. Make it small and simple so that they'll be able to perform it on their own, but cover all the areas of attack. Transplant, semen, blood, everything. There's a list of specifics in case you forget something." Scabbard unrolled the scroll and withdrew all the materials mentioned above in perfect order.

Crypt smirked as he whipped his head around and his scythe necklace enlarged rapidly and spun around his neck, cutting him deeply and letting his blood flow onto the displayed materials. The blood moved with a life of its own, seeping into the scrolls and books in front of him and disappearing from sight. As Scabbard turned to his brother once more, his self-inflicted wounds had already disappeared and a giant scythe was hanging off the back of his neck by the blade.

Now enlarged, the weapon looked even more deadly and menacing than before, with its shaft pure black, almost six feet long from end to end and made of an undeterminable material. At the far end of the shaft was a small amber gem, glowing lightly. The black of the shaft on the other end meshed perfectly when it met the blood red metal of the blade, which arched for a good four feet around the maniac's neck, inscribed with a few illegible letters on either side. No matter how many times Scabbard saw this weapon, he could not help but shiver in its presence, for its desire to drink blood was greater than any other weapon in existence. The Third Fang: the Eternal Drinker. And Crypt was the only person in existence who could wield it perfectly…because he was the only person in existence who could bleed for all eternity.

"Well, then." Crypt smirked, his dark eyes practically glowing behind his ragged hair as he drew yet more blood with his scythe. As it splashed on the floor around him, Scabbard stood by the entrance, seeing the spilled blood almost immediately begin forming different kanji and patterns at a blisteringly fast (and steadily accelerating) rate. "Let's get to work."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah… Crypt can use a scythe perfectly with no arms. He's awesome like that.

I made this chapter in TWO DAYS, so it's a bit shorter than normal. I just had finals this week, so I was really pressed for time today.

There won't be any update next week. I'm going on vacation guys. Sorry.

So yeah. The poll is up, and it's a close race between Friday and Saturday. I'm probably going to close it after the next two chapters, so PLEASE VOTE FOLKS!

As for my art contest, I have heard from some of you that you are going to make some pics, but I haven't seen anything yet. Oh well. The end isn't going to come for a while, so everyone has plenty of time.

Wow. 35 votes in the last week. Damn. So… wow. Anyways. Keep reviewing at your own leisure guys, and thanks for the positive feedback! Till then!


	21. I'm Back Bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 21: I'm back, bitches

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Deep inside Naruto's seal, Minato Namikaze was conversing with his new… acquaintance.

"Seriously?" The blonde man asked incredulously. "The five tails actually formed from the mutant baby of a dolphin and a horse?"

The nine tailed fox chuckled behind his cage. "To be honest, I didn't believe it either. I mean, the rest of us at least have SOME decent background on our forms… Even the Hachibi's form makes _some_ sense, but the Gobi? Honestly, the rest of us bijū just pity him at times."

Minato shook his head. "But where the hell did the mutant baby of a dolphin and a horse come from?"

Kyūbi shrugged his enormous shoulders. "I don't know. My best guess is that some frighteningly disturbed human thought it would be interesting to see what would happen if he crossed the two together."

Minato frowned. "Why do you always assume that humans are to blame for oddities in nature and other problems?"

Kyūbi chuckled darkly as he hunched over and glared at Minato. "Because, HUMAN… most of the time, it is. Despite all the damage I have done over the years, humans have bested me tenfold. Murder, rape, genocide, bribery, slavery… all this, repeated endlessly throughout the generations, yet your kind still believe that you are, as a whole, innocent. Your species is possibly the greatest mystery in nature. How could Kami herself let something as destructive as you be on her planet when you lot are nearly as bad as the Jūbi?"

Minato sighed as he rubbed his forehead. It had taken him a while to get used to the fact that the Sage of Six Paths had indeed been real, and that the Kyūbi was once part of a much bigger problem.

It had taken even longer after the realization that not only were the legends of the Sage completely true, but that if anything, legends had **undersold** what he could do. _Tremendously_.

Disturbing lines of thought aside, it had taken a while, but he and the Kyūbi had finally started to get along… if by that it meant that fuzz butt wasn't insulting him or asking for his blood every day. Minato could actually get some sleep these days thanks to the fact that he could materialize almost anything in Naruto's mindscape… almost anything. "Alright. I get it. Can we move on now? …What were we talking about before the other tailed beasts?"

Kyūbi growled. "We were speaking of your son's new allies. I for one cannot believe that the brat is fortunate enough to gain the backing of the Sky Mother herself and her entire kin…"

Minato raised an eyebrow. "Who is this Sky Mother that you're talking about?"

The fox frowned and rested his head against the soggy ground of his cage. "Normally, this information is not imparted to mortals like yourself, but I believe that this can be an exception, seeing as you will find out soon enough anyways. However, you must make sure that the brat does not find out until they tell him. This information is very… sensitive."

Minato nodded slowly. "It's not like I'm going anywhere."

"Unfortunately." The Kyūbi growled, before calming down again. "The Sky Mother… otherwise known as… Zuzushi… is the closest thing possible to what you mortals would refer to as an absolute God. Do not call her by name; I would have already damned myself by telling you if I wasn't currently trapped here. The Sky Mother is… a god of gods, you could say. I believe that the current term for one of her status is Elder God. It is difficult to describe, as I myself have only heard rumors about her from Kami, who only manages this realm in general, and the Shinigami, before… this. What I do know is that she is different from other beings of her caliber. She is indeed capable of many things that only what you may consider to be an absolute god could do. However, she also behaves in a very… human-like manner much of the time…"

"Meaning…?"

"She gets bored… very easily." Kyūbi deadpanned. "From what I know, she seals herself in a vessel every several thousand years or so to pass the time, each one paired with a guardian or two, with a gift of their choosing from her to earn their loyalty."

"And this Ghost and Scabbard are the new vessel's guardians?" Minato asked.

Kyūbi nodded. "Half of them, in fact. The latest vessel has four guardians. However, I have heard that these four are different from their predecessors, especially the one known as Ghost. Something about their gifts being something that even the Sky Mother herself did not expect to give. Even Kami and Shinigami don't know that much in regards to the current group."

Minato frowned. "What makes this Ghost so different from the others?"

Kyūbi chuckled. "I'm not too sure myself, human, but any being that has a poem about themselves that gods know off the top of their heads must be pretty damn significant if you ask me."

Minato raised an eyebrow. "A poem?"

Kyūbi nodded. "More akin to what you would refer to as a nursery rhyme, like those that you humans tell your kits. I myself have only heard it a few times, and I cannot recall what the exact words were, only that it was certainly not something that most would say to their children before putting them to rest…"

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

"Fuck!" Ghost shouted as Shikamaru placed down his shōgi piece, beating him for the 15th time in a row. "What the hell? Are you sure you weren't experimented on as a baby?"

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "No clue. You sure you weren't dropped on your head when you were a baby?"

"Seven times and a lawnmower." Ghost claimed proudly to the stumped Nara.

"Se… wha… are… troublesome." Shikamaru managed to breathe out before giving up. He had long since learned to avoid questioning information like that when Ghost was involved. "Don't you have some sort of mission to do? Another assassination of a slaver or something…?" Shikamaru paused as what he said registered in his head. Ghost didn't notice.

"Nah. After the fourth one I did, the council decided to give me a break. Apparently holding the record killing time earns a ninja several month's break... Or they're just trying not to piss me off. Either way it's pretty sweet if you ask me." Ghost shrugged before putting on a blush and a perverted grin. "But now that Anko and Hana have stopped trying to rape me, I've been able to get more **alone** time with them without worry, heheheheh…"

"Hey…" Shikamaru asked, clearly ignoring Ghost's last statement. "Those missions you've been taking… did they **all** involve high priority slavers?"

Ghost snapped out of his daydream to turn to the Nara. "Hm? Oh, yeah. The old man said that they were deemed too dangerous to assign to anyone except Kakashi last time through, and he was busy with Team 7, so no one could take them. Why do you ask?"

Shikamaru frowned. "And Naruto's group is currently on a mission that will put him up against another big slaver… one that is very well off but currently stuck overseeing his latest 'investment', in a land that is not under much if any surveillance, and that has more than likely heard of his business partners' untimely and mysterious demises?"

Ghost got the hint. "…Aaahh. Yeeeeaahh. I should probably ask Sarutobi for another secret mission, shouldn't I?"

Shikamaru sighed as he put his game pieces away. "I'll tell everyone you're away on another mission, and that you decided to take your time this round." He looked up to see that he was alone. "How the hell did you manage to get us this far without screwing up?"

o. o. o.

On the road to Wave:

"So you three are part of some kind of super program designed to make new super ninjas?" Tazuna slurred in an unconvinced manner. "And this is your first REAL mission? I'm calling bullshit. There's no way you brats are noobies to this crap if you managed to take those two out so easily.

"As unbelievable as it seems Tazuna-san, we're telling the truth." Kakashi eye smiled. It had been about half a day since the failed assassination attempt, and the group was once again pleasantly on their way to Wave. The Demon Brothers were left tied to a tree for ANBU to capture and interrogate, and Kakashi had made sure to take all their equipment before leaving. Ghost had noted that their gauntlets in particular would be interesting to tinker with later. "Even though this is their first time in the field, they've been trained thoroughly to make sure that they would at least be prepared for situations like the one we just encountered."

Tazuna glared at Kakashi, ignoring the dirty looks the genin were giving him. "Yeah, right. You're telling me that you trained those three to be prepared for two guys popping out of a puddle and clawing me to death?"

"Not exactly, but we have trained to counter ambush situations." Sakura huffed.

Sasuke nodded. "We were put in mock situations and our teachers put on disguises to make the training more authentic."

Naruto chuckled. "Plus, Ero-nii keeps on pulling random pranks and traps on us to make us more prepared for the unexpected." Sasuke and Sakura groaned, remembering all the random horrors that Ghost had put them through for his own amusement. They would never look at spaghetti and meatballs the same way again.

Kakashi eye smiled. "We're all telling the truth Tazuna-san. Your still-beating heart is proof of that. Believe me when I say that while paid for the service of a genin team and a jōnin-sensei, you're really getting the service of at least a team of low ranked chūnin and an elite-jōnin."

Tazuna nervously smiled before taking another sip of sake. "Excuse me if I don't feel like jumping for joy at the news."

Naruto chuckled. "I'd be disturbed if you did. If you haven't noticed yet, you're pretty damn old… and drunk. If you jumped, I don't know what would happen first: you breaking your hip, or you losing your balance and falling on your soft head."

"Cocky little shit."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Wave:

"The Demon Brothers failed, Zabuza." Growled Gatō as he glared at his temporary employee in his hidden hideaway. "Maybe I was misled when I was told about your skills as an assassin."

The vertically challenged businessman was interrupted as Zabuza, still lounging on his couch, whipped out his large blade with one arm and held it inches from his employer's face, glaring intently. "Don't put those two on my level, little man. The drunk WILL die. It just so happens that his guards prolonged his end by a few days. I just hope for your sake that you keep up your end of the bargain."

Gatō, clearly farther away from Zabuza than before, twitched. "Y-yeah. You'll have your damn money, AFTER you kill the bridge builder. Do not disappoint me Zabuza, otherwise I may have to take my business elsewhere…" Gatō huffed, walking out of the building followed by his two lackeys.

Zabuza paused for a moment before sighing and resting his blade on the ground. "You were never that good at hiding your thoughts from me, Haku. What is it?"

From one of the corners of the room, Haku materialized in standard battle attire. "I am worried, Zabuza-sama. You have already noticed that there are more than just those two swordsmen guarding him now…"

Zabuza nodded. "Yeah. We're just here as a cheap way to tie up some loose ends, but as long as we get paid, I'm not complaining… Still, I have to wonder who the hell killed the munchkin's business partners. No chakra signature, minimal evidence, no point of entry, only the target was killed each time - hell, three of them were barely even touched other than the fact that they were dead in their beds and their throats were slit with a standard kunai. I wouldn't mind having a chat with the person responsible for those kills, especially when they were done with a few squads of jōnin nearby. It's something that a person in my profession can really respect…"

Haku nodded. "I have heard rumors that Konoha has recently gained another small clan, and that their members are quite capable in various fields… one of them is rumored to be an excellent assassin."

Zabuza huffed. "Konoha? Those tree huggers? I can count on one hand the number of ninja they have that actually have the stones and the skills to pull anything decent off, especially after the Uchiha clan bit the dust… and I doubt any of them are good enough to pull off those kills, at least with no one noticing."

Haku bowed. "I apologize Zabuza-sama, I merely conveyed to you what I was told."

Zabuza nodded. "Duly noted, Haku. Regardless, we still need money to raise a revolution to take down Yagura, much as I hate to fight one of the few friends I have left." His killing intent rose. "When I find the bastard who's been screwing with his mind, I'll…"

Zabuza was interrupted as Haku placed a hand on his shoulder. "We should get ready for the next ambush."

The missing Kiri-nin calmed down and nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

Haku smiled gently. "It's my purpose, Zabuza-sama."

o. o. o.

On the road to Wave (again):

Naruto whistled. "That's one hell of a bridge, old man. Are you sure you're not overcompensating for something?"

Tazuna glared at the boy. "I'm an old man, who has a daughter and a grandson, that drinks himself into a stupor every other hour while my home slowly wastes away thanks to a vertically challenged businessman. Do you really think that I worry about how big my manhood is?"

Naruto shrugged, clearly ignoring what Tazuna was insinuating. "Maybe. You'd be surprised what people do these days. For example, during our genin-exam, Kakashi-sensei was busy reading the porn section of another one of his science fiction books while the three of us were trying to kill him and take the bells hanging off of his belt."

Kakashi frowned. "What makes you think I was reading a porn section? For all you know, I could have been reading a good fight scene."

Sakura deadpanned. "Do all fight scenes in your books make you giggle like a child? And what exactly did 'Noriko' do to be such a 'naughty naughty girl', sensei?"

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

"Damn it, he's regressed." Mock gasped Naruto.

"Will you shut up?" Hissed the rower of the boat. "If you keep this up, we'll be caught by Gatō's men!"

"Sorry." Chuckled Naruto as he sheepishly scratched the back of his head. Tazuna breathed out heavily, Kakashi eye smiled, and Sasuke and Sakura just exchanged looks.

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"Today, we're having sparring practice." Asuma announced to the remaining nine genin after they all had their daily standard lessons. "We will pair you all randomly to make things interesting. It will be the same as in the academy: taijutsu only, with the exception of the academy three or other clones; no excessive force; kunai and shuriken allowed. Remember that they are sharp this time… and no, Tenten, you are not allowed to use your special sealed weapons." Asuma frowned, glancing at a shivering Chōji. "We don't want a repeat of what happened last time."

"I said I was sorry." Pouted Tenten.

"So. Many. Exploding kunai. Make it stop Shika, MAKE IT STOP!" Chōji wept as Shikamaru patted his friend on the back to calm him down and everyone watching sweat dropped.

Ino paused to look around for a moment before raising her hand. "Where's Ghost-sensei?"

Kiba arched an eyebrow. "Yeah, where is the psycho? Normally he would jump at the chance to see us wailing on each other."

Shikamaru sighed. "Something came up, and he had to leave on another mission. He said that he would take his time on this one though, so he'll be probably gone for more than a week."

Anko and Hana looked crestfallen. "Damn. And we were going to screw around with his head tonight too." Anko mumbled with Hana nodding silently.

"It is very un-youthful of him to leave without informing us!" Shouted Gai. "I still have yet to ask him for a rematch!"

"You fought Ghost-sensei?" Lee asked incredulously, unaware that everyone else was interested in the conversation as well.

Gai smirked. "Yes! And it was a most youthful taijutsu battle! We fought for hours with nothing but our fists and our burning youth! His speed and technique were unlike anything I have encountered before, but in the end I prevailed!"

Kurenai raised an eyebrow somewhat in disbelief. "You beat Ghost in a fight? From what Kakashi has told me, he's supposed to be very difficult to go up against."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled, gaining everyone's attention. Seeing as they wouldn't leave him alone until he explained himself, the Nara sighed. "If you were listening, you would have heard that Gai-sensei said that they did nothing but fight using taijutsu **only** for several hours."

"Yes!" Gai shouted. "And what a battle it was! His agility was most impressive as many of my attacks were evaded and countered instantly! I am sure that I would have lost if his punches weren't as lacking as they were!"

"… Are you insinuating that Ghost-sensei is weak?" Neji asked incredulously.

"He once told me that he's only as physically strong as an upper chūnin or low jōnin…" Hana inputted.

"And he sure as hell can't take a hit…" chuckled Anko, remembering all the times she took Ghost down in one blow before dragging him back to her apartment with Hana for some… special activities...

"Are you sure your fight with him lasted hours?" Kurenai asked in a skeptical tone. "It shouldn't have taken you that long to land a decent blow if you were both using only taijutsu."

Gai was starting to sweat a bit as he looked away. "Well, erm, you see, the thing was…" The spandex man grumbled, "Even with my youthfulness… I had a bit of a hard time actually… hitting him."

The listeners waited a few moments to process the new information.

Asuma broke the silence first. "…you sure you two were only using taijutsu?"

Gai frowned. "I'm sure. We were never more than a few meters away from each other. His speed, agility and style were not like anything I had ever seen before. Every punch or kick I threw was either dodged or used to change the position of his body with the least amount of energy required. To be honest, the only blow I landed was the one that I knocked him out with, and that was when I got frustrated and opened the first gate…"

Lee's, Tenten's, Neji's, Hinata's, Anko's, Asuma's, Kurenai's, Hana's, and Shikamaru's eyes widened in surprise, knowing the power boost opening even one of the gates could do to a person, let alone how strong Gai would be by doing so. They all cringed at the thought at being on the receiving end of such a blow, and knew it didn't take that much force to take down Ghost.

Asuma sighed as he took out a small cardboard box. "OKAY, PEOPLE! We're getting off topic. In this box are pieces of paper with your names on them. I will take out two at a time, and the names on the paper fight each other. The ninth person has to go against Gai." Asuma then took out slips of paper, ignoring the rapidly paling faces staring at him.

Kiba got Chōji, Shikamaru got Tenten ("Why am I always fighting a troublesome girl?"), Shino had Lee, Hinata had Neji, and Ino unfortunately was up against Gai (A/N: Seriously… think about that last match up for a moment… yeah, I'm laughing so loud I can't hear myself think either.).

Kurenai, Shino and Kiba were all looking worriedly at Hinata, who simply closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. What they didn't see was the small seal on her lower back glow softly as she reduced the strain on her body. She was still a bit afraid of fighting her cousin, who was currently glaring daggers at her, but ever since she got used to sparring against Naruto, the idea of such a fight did not intimidate her as much. She only hoped that she would be able to beat Neji without using too many of her own personal techniques…

"Hinata…" Kurenai started.

"It's okay, sensei." Hinata interrupted as she got up with a serious look in her eyes. "I want to fight Neji-nii…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Wave:

"What the hell is with this fog?" Growled Sasuke as the group traveled the last leg of their trip to Tazuna's home. Naruto and Kakashi knew that Zabuza was bound to show up very soon and were on edge, which meant…

Naruto hurled a kunai into the bushes, startling his companions. "What the hell was that, Naruto?" Yelled Sakura.

Naruto rushed to the bushes to uncover… a white rabbit petrified in fear, with a kunai sticking out of the tree it was leaning against an inch above its head. "Ooooh! I'm so sorry Mr. Rabbit!" Naruto wept as he hugged the poor woodland creature.

Sasuke's eyes twitched. "You must be getting soft, dobe. Getting all worked up because of a rabbit."

"Shut up, teme." growled Naruto in a small growl, tapping his hand once against the ground in the process, followed by dragging three knuckles briefly along the same spot: the code for one enemy, very strong.

"That's an interesting color for a rabbit this time of year…" Mused Kakashi to himself.

"Humph." Sakura huffed as she crossed her arms. "Why don't you stop insulting Sasuke-kun for on-"

"Get DOWN!" Roared Naruto as he tackled Tazuna. Kakashi, Sasuke, and Sakura ducked, just as a huge blade spun through the air, almost decapitating the group, and embedded itself in a nearby tree. Almost immediately afterwards, the shirtless wonder M.C. Hammer… I mean Zabuza appeared on top of the handle.

"Well, isn't this a surprise? Copy-Nin Kakashi. No wonder the Demon Brothers failed to kill the old man. It's an honor to meet you face to face."

"Demon of the Bloody Mist, Zabuza Momochi. The feeling's mutual." Kakashi responded, reaching for his forehead protector.

"What faces? The both of you can barely see each other's eyes with all that headgear, let alone faces." Grumbled Naruto, unknowingly irritating the two jōnin.

Zabuza flared what he thought was a good amount of killing intent at the group to scare away the genin. Much to his surprise, the biggest reaction he got was from the pink haired girl and the black haired boy, who flinched and shivered, but did not cower in fear like most people, or genin, did. The blonde didn't even react as if he felt the killing intent, merely staring back at him with a serious expression with those slit eyes. "Humph. Those kids of yours look weak." He growled, not letting his mild surprise show. "Let me kill the old man and I'll let the rest of you go…"

"Sorry Zabuza. We're hired to protect him. It would be bad practice if I went against the contract now." Kakashi responded in a conversationalist manner as he lifted the protector covering his eye. "You know the dance."

"Ah, the fabled Sharingan so soon. I'm honored." The assailant commented before disappearing with his blade.

"There!" Sakura shouted, pointing to the nearby lake. "On the water!"

"Team 7! Defensive stance 4!" Kakashi shouted to his charges. "Sakura, don't try to use your genjutsu. Zabuza is a master of silent killing techniques. It would only make it easier for him to separate you and Tazuna from the rest of the group." The youths nodded as Sakura situated herself behind Tazuna and Sasuke and Naruto took their places to either side of the front of the old and very much scared drunk.

"Hiding in the Mist technique." Mumbled Zabuza as the fog around the group grew thicker. Moments later the man disappeared.

"Dobe…" Sasuke asked worriedly as his vision grew more impaired.

"I'm working on it, teme… shut up for a damn moment." Growled Naruto as he put his hands in the dragon hand sign. He had found that his sensory skills and his wind manipulation powers were significantly more efficient when he focused with the dragon sign up. It made sense, considering that it was the one used in all wind element ninjutsu. Focusing on the air around him, Naruto concentrated on blowing the detrimental air away from him while keeping an eye out for Zabuza. As he did so, Zabuza continued to leak out more and more killing intent.

"Eight choices. Liver, lungs, spine, clavicle vein, jugular vein, brain, kidneys, heart. Which one should I go after?" Zabuza's voice echoed around them, freaking out everyone.

Naruto smirked, "I'd go for the kidneys. Those bastards have had it too good for too long. My bladder says that they've been talking about me behind my back."

This irritated his teammates greatly of course, but what no one saw or knew was that Zabuza actually stumbled for a moment after hearing the obscene suggestion. "Dobe…" Sasuke growled.

"You are seriously hanging around Ghost-sensei too much." Sakura sighed, quietly relieved that the blonde had relieved some of the tension in the air.

Kakashi just sighed as Naruto once again lived up to his unpredictable, knuckleheaded title.

"Teme, Sakura…" Naruto said seriously gaining their full attention, "Remember that last prank Ero-nii pulled on us…?"

It took a whole two seconds for Sasuke and Sakura to comprehend what Naruto was telling him before the Uchiha whipped out his sword and struck right behind him while Sakura, who was right behind Tazuna, grabbed the old drunk and flung both of them away from the fight. Right in front of where Tazuna was once standing was Zabuza with a huge gash across his chest.

"H-How?" He breathed out.

Sasuke let out the breath he was holding, his heart pounding in his chest. "The dobe can tell where things are by reaching out with the air around him." He looked around to see the mist already thinning out considerably. "He can also control the wind around us to a certain degree, which is why the mist is already going away. After he gave Sakura and I that hint about where you were, all we needed to do was move before you did…"

"I see…" Mumbled Zabuza with his sword raised, right behind Sasuke as the one with the gash turned to water. Sasuke turned around with fear as Zabuza smirked. "Thanks for the heads up about what your friend can do…" Time seemed to slow down as the massive blade approached Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shrieked.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled.

Damn, he had gotten good at acting.

Just as it looked like Sasuke was about to die, Kakashi rammed into Zabuza with a kunai, deflecting the blade. "Your fight is with me." The cyclops growled, only to have that Zabuza turn into water as well.

"I know." Whispered Zabuza from behind a surprised Kakashi, cleaving him in half before he could respond… and turning into water. ' _What? He copied my water clone in the mist? … That's why he made his clone speak before… to drop my guard…'_

"Harder than you thought it would be, isn't it?" Joked Kakashi, who was holding a kunai under the jōnin's throat. "You know, if you promise leave the old man alone, we'll let you live…"

"Sorry…" Chuckled another voice from behind Kakashi, who was thrown into the nearby lake with a savage kick, ironically killing the water clone that Kakashi had at his mercy. "It's bad for business. You understand." The large man chuckled before disappearing and reappearing behind the silver haired man. "Water Prison technique!" He shouted, trapping Kakashi in a sphere of water." ' _Why am I getting a case of déjà vu?'_

"Sensei!" Sakura shouted as Zabuza created another water clone.

"You could have had it the easy way Kakashi, but now you and your students are gonna die here." Chuckled Zabuza, only to stop when he noticed Kakashi's less than stressed demeanor. "… There something I should know about the brats?"

Kakashi hummed as if he was thinking. "You'll see."

Naruto frowned. "That lazy good for nothing…" He growled, gaining his teammate's attention. "He expects us to save him…" Naruto explained.

"What? Why?" Asked a dazed Sakura.

"Because he obviously thinks we can at least get Zabuza to move his arm to dispel the jutsu." Naruto sighed as he started to walk forward. "Teme. You got the clone. Don't be a wuss, water clones only have 10% of their owner's skills, so you should be fine. I'll go for Zabuza. Sakura, you get Tazuna under another genjutsu. The mist is gone, so it won't be a double edged sword anymore…"

Sakura nodded while Sasuke scowled. "Why do you get the real one while I get the clone dobe?"

Naruto sighed, watching as Zabuza's clone approached them. "I could go on all day about why right now, but you'll have to settle for this: I can water walk, you can't." Naruto then created several dozen clones and charged Zabuza's clone, making a feeble attempt to slow it down. "There's your back up and my distraction. GO!" And with that Naruto charged ahead, going around the berserking clone and towards the lake, leaving a temporarily stunned Sasuke behind.

"Fucking dobe…" Growled Sasuke as he got his head on straight and charged ahead, blazing through several hand signs…

"Heh." Zabuza chuckled as Naruto ran to him on top of the water. "Not bad, kid. You can already water walk. Too bad you're gonna die here."

Naruto glared at Zabuza before seallessly creating another several dozen clones and surrounding Zabuza. "You're going down." He growled as all his clones took out a set of kunai.

"He doesn't respond well to being insulted." Kakashi sighed.

"I noticed." Deadpanned the jailor as he grabbed his sword with his free hand and managed deflect all the thrown weaponry at him with a single swing, rebounding all the metal back at the clones and dispelling pretty much all of them. "That all you got brat?"

Naruto smirked. "I thought I told you, you're going down." Just as he responded, a group of hands emerged from the lake's surface and clasped on to Zabuza's feet, surprising the jōnin, who saw roughly six clones below the water grabbing him with one arm each. The other arms were wielding kunai. This would not end well.

"Fuck!" The man shouted as he withdrew both his hands and focused his chakra, quickly pulling a shunshin to get away and avoid the mutilation of his legs and nether regions.

Turning to the original, the enraged man threw his blade like a boomerang in revenge for being almost gelded. The blade went through the boy with a satisfactory wet sound, before he poofed out of existence. "I'm sorry!" Shouted the real Naruto from near the edge of the water, out of range of Zabuza's ire just as he caught his blade again. "Was that supposed to be me, or were you just irritated that I was using a bad pun before?"

"I'm starting to hate that kid…" He growled.

Kakashi chuckled with his head above the water. "You and roughly half the ANBU in Konoha. He's a notorious prankster…"

Zabuza glared at Kakashi as he got back on top of the water. "Seal-less shadow clones and water walking…" He turned to see Sasuke evaporating his water clone with a massive fireball. Apparently there were too many of the blonde clones for the water clone to escape. "And large scale fire techniques… What the hell are they doing in Konoha these days? Are those really genin?"

"Ah, well it's the result of our new program…" Kakashi chuckled as he got into position across from his opponent, shooting a quick look at Naruto to tell him to join his teammates. "Hard to believe that this is their first non-D-rank mission, isn't it?"

Zabuza blinked twice before he glared at his opponent and started to form hand signs. "You're shitting me. Those brats are noobies?"

Kakashi started to mimic Zabuza's movement's sign for sign. "Yep. Been out of the academy for almost four months now."

Zabuza glared at his opponent, recalling the bit of information that Haku had told him recently and quickly connecting the dots. "And I assume that some new clan is responsible for this new change? Those brats didn't seem that phased by my killing intent and… will you STOP COPYING ME!"

Kakashi chuckled darkly as he continued making hand signs. "Oh? Word about them has spread already?"

The swordsman frowned as he tried to finish his technique before Kakashi did. ' _That stupid copying monkey,'_ "Just because he has that fucking eye he thinks that he's better than me! ' _He is nothing compared to the original!"'_ He thought as Kakashi yelled, shocking the man and giving Kakashi his opening, blazing through the rest of the seals at a speed that made Zabuza dizzy.

"Water Dragon Bullet Technique!" Kakashi yelled as an enormous water dragon formed from the lake and rammed into the stupefied swordsman, slamming him into several nearby trees. Luckily, those were not the trees that Tazuna and Sakura were hiding in at the moment.

Sasuke was awed by how powerful his teacher was and secretly jealous that the dobe always seemed to be two steps ahead of him. It got on his nerves that such a goofball was ahead of him, but then he cleared his head. One of the first lessons that Ghost had given the new age group was that the stronger you got, the more peculiar you were likely to become, giving himself, Anko, and Kakashi as prime examples, and Gai being a worst case scenario. The assignment for that day was to get a hobby, something that would distract you from the daily life of being a ninja. They didn't have to be the best at it, or even good at it, but it had to be something that they enjoyed and would prove to be a good distraction from the chaos that would envelop their lives later on.

In addition, everyone was forbidden from using training or poetry as their escape for obvious reasons.

Surprisingly enough, Sasuke decided to turn to cooking as a way to distract himself, and he was good at it too. When asked why he simply responded, "I get to break things, pound stuff into a mushy paste, occasionally kill the ingredients, and mess with fire. Plus I actually DO care about what I eat, seeing as I live alone…now go away before I use my fire on you instead of what I'm making for dinner…"

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke calmed himself down. He had heard of the Snake Sannin Orochimaru, and had no intention to let his desire to be strong lead him to be a pale freak with a thing for little boys. That being noted, the Uchiha silently contemplated what to slip into Naruto's food that night. Oh, how he would relish the moments after the dobe realized he had eaten some of the vilest things ever imagined…

"Teme, stop laughing like that. It's creepy. Besides, he's not dead yet…" Naruto growled as he dropped besides his teammate and nodded to the destroyed trees. Already they could spot Zabuza staggering out of the broken foliage, battered and bruised yet somehow still holding on to his sword. Breathing heavily, the swordsman glared at Kakashi, who was mere feet away from him.

"Can you see the future with that eye?" He growled halfheartedly.

Kakashi nodded before taking out a kunai. "Yes. I've seen your death…"

Thock. Thock.

Two senbon flew through the air and pierced Zabuza's neck, instantly downing the man. "I must thank you for weakening him." Spoke a familiar voice as the group turned to a masked ninja. "I've been tracking him down for months, but could not get an appropriate chance to kill him."

_'Haku…'_

"You're very welcome, Hunter-san." Kakashi said, gaining everyone's attention as he stood over the body of his foe. "Zabuza's dead. I just checked."

"What the hell!" Naruto shouted, knowing that he still needed to play his part. "He's not much older than we are, yet he took down Zabuza with two fucking senbon. SENBON!"

Kakashi sighed. "That's the way the world works, Naruto. There are some people out there that are as young as you, but stronger than me." He pulled down his forehead protector. "Though sometimes I wish that I could encounter at least one that would not interrupt my fights just as I'm about to finish them…" He shook his head. "Ugh. I used my Sharingan a bit too much. I'm gonna be out of it for a while." He mumbled.

The hunter-nin appeared next to Zabuza's body and nodded. "If that is all, I must dispose of the body. Thank you very much." And with that the pair disappeared.

"Hmmm." Kakashi mused as he slowly walked to his team, with Sakura and Tazuna appearing out of the woods nearby. "That was odd."

"What was, Sensei?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Normally, hunter-nin dispose of and dissect a body on the spot, but that one took the body with him… crap."

"We've been duped, haven't we?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Why aren't you surprised?" Sasuke asked in a rather taught tone.

"Why are you?" Asked Naruto tiredly. "We've been lied to, assaulted by a pair of chūnin ninja, forced to bear the good portion of an entire country's future on our shoulders, assaulted by a rogue member of the **Seven Swordsmen of the fucking Mist** , and then interrupted by some faceless ninja at the last second. I was half expecting him to be alive as soon as the guy introduced himself…"

"Could we talk about this back at Tazuna's place?" Kakashi asked in a strained manner. "That fight took a lot out of me, and I'm not exactly in the best condition at the moment."

"Erm… sure." Tazuna answered hesitantly, confused as to why they would all be so calm after realizing that their opponent was still alive. "Come on, it's only a few more miles this way…"

o. o. o.

One mile away in some random direction:

Haku leaned over Zabuza's body with tools spread out neatly. "First, I'll cut the cloth to let the blood flow out…" Haku's hand was suddenly grabbed by Zabuza's. "Oh… you're alive…" Zabuza paused, staring at Haku intently and making the teen slightly nervous. "Is something the matter, Zabuza-sama?"

The swordsman frowned as he let go of his assistant and sighed, "Just a bad dream, Haku." He was about to go and tear out the senbon from his neck, when he felt something brush against his leg. "Haku… check my pockets... But first, take off your damn mask." He growled, ripping the pieces of metal from his neck and repositioning the cloth around his mouth.

Haku nodded and searched Zabuza's pants, finding a small scroll in one of the pockets. "I wish you didn't do that. You know you could risk paralyzing yourself by doing removing them that way."

"Odd, I don't remember seeing this scroll before…" Zabuza frowned, knowing something wasn't right, but that the scroll was important.

"Open it." He ordered. As Haku did so, a small letter fell out of the scroll, which had several documents, notes and storage seals inscribed inside. Zabuza noticed that many of them were about the Fourth Mizukage, himself, Kisame, and the Uchiha clan. Whoever it was, they definitely had his undivided attention. The letter bore the words, "To Zabuza and Haku. Read me first…"

Haku's eyes widened. "How…"

Zabuza ignored his underling's confusion and tore open and read the letter.

_Zabuza, Haku,_

_If you are reading this, then at least one of you has been given your memories back. It is not an elaborate genjutsu, and we are not trying to take advantage of you, we are merely asking for your aid. If only one of you remembers what happened last time, look on your body for a chain link tattoo. This tattoo can come off if focused upon, and will give back the memories of the person whose forehead it is applied to. Use this only for the other stated in this letter, as it is too dangerous to use on anyone else. Once both of you have regained your memories, please both read the next section._

Zabuza snorted and decided to go on anyways, unaware of the shock he was about to receive.

_After you both had died, things became chaotic in the shinobi world, but we will stick to the parts that you'll be most interested in for now. A group calling themselves Akatsuki, comprising of S-class missing-nin including your former comrade Kisame, appeared and started to kidnap jinchūriki and somehow ripped out the demons sealed within them. Their goal was to collect all of the tailed beasts and, pending on who the leader was, either create a weapon of mass destruction, or resurrect the monster known as the Jūbi. Unfortunately, they succeeded._

_However, an unexpected ally managed to give all of us a second chance at the last moment, which lands us where we are now. This ally had a hunch about your movement against the Mizukage, and has attached to this scroll various stores of information regarding the Fourth's change in personality and who is responsible as a gift of good faith. Please note that said culprit is now the hidden leader of Akatsuki, so any chance of redemption would be greatly increased if we join forces. The Third Hokage has already made preparations for your arrival should you decide to join us. However, you must be aware that Yagura is most likely dead, as a Fifth Mizukage has already been chosen for some time: a woman who is rumored to be in possession of two bloodline limits. If you require more motivation, please ask Haku to meet Naruto at the first and last place where they had a peaceful conversation. He will be there every evening this week._

_Please note that only I, Kakashi, and Naruto know of the current situation. Sasuke and Sakura are unaware of our plans, and we wish for it to stay that way._

Zabuza read the letter a dozen times with wide eyes before checking his body for the chain link tattoo. Several seconds of inspection revealed the said black ring on the inside of his right arm. Before saying anything though, the man tried to process everything he had been given.

Kakashi knew he was alive, that much was given… but if this was all a hoax, how did he know what Haku's name was? Haku's existence was a closely kept secret, and even his past employers and the Demon Brothers didn't know of his minion's name. Then there were the events that didn't match up, such as Gatō's partners mysteriously dying. That certainly did not happen 'last time' or whatever the hell he would call it. It would explain why Gatō didn't have ninja bodyguards then, too. They could have just done their research about him and his past… but that doesn't explain how they knew that Haku would come and rescue him in that exact manner… and the information that they were giving him, there were too many parts that were too specific to be forgeries. He frowned. If what he remembered was correct, he had about a week before the next major move was made on his part, but Haku apparently encountered them earlier… Haku… His assistant deserved better than this… damn, these memories were screwing around with his head.

"Haku…" Zabuza groaned, reaching for the chain link and, with some difficulty, managing to pull it out on his first try.

"Yes, Zabuza-sama?" Haku responded curiously, noting that the letter had seriously intrigued her master.

Zabuza silently pressed the small link against her head and watched as it passed through her skin. He was shocked when Haku hunched over and grabbed her head in pain. "Those fucking little…" Zabuza started to rant before seeing that there was a small note written on the back of the letter.

_P.S. It should be noted that when you get your memories back, you get a massive and very painful headache for a small amount of time… I should know. Sorry for the inconvenience. Kakashi._

"That stupid bastard…"

"Za-Zabuza-sama…" Groaned Haku.

"Bear with it Haku, it should only happen for a short amount of time…"

20 minutes later:

"So, what are your thoughts?" The swordsman asked, lying on the ground as Haku re-read the letter Kakashi gave them.

"I'm… not quite sure." Haku responded. "Many parts make sense. Kakashi and Naruto-kun did not seem that surprised when I made my appearance… more like they expected me to appear. And if this is in fact true, then you have much to gain by joining them…"

Zabuza nodded. "What's this place that was mentioned on the letter… the one about meeting the blonde brat?"

Haku paused for a moment. "It was during one of my herb runs in the forest after you were injured. I saw him in a clearing, passed out from training. It appeared to have been tree climbing at the time…"

"Damn it, Haku. How many times do I have to tell you to not hesitate and kill your damn opponents? How the hell did that brat beat you anyways? I remember feeling this weird chakra coming from inside your technique, but I was busy fighting Kakashi…"

Haku paused before shivering, which had her master's attention. "I had just incapacitated his friend, the Uchiha. He appeared to be dead when Naruto-kun… snapped, is all I can think of. An evil red chakra flowed from his body and for a moment I thought I saw the face of a fox looking right at me. It was truly frightening, Zabuza-sama. All the senbon I had stuck in his body flew out and his wounds all healed rapidly. I tried to kill him, but his speed and strength… he could punch through my mirrors like paper…"

"That's enough, Haku…" Zabuza said quietly, remembering the letter, Konoha's history, his knowledge about jinchūriki, and the boy's slit eyes. "I… think I have a good idea what happened, and why it happened." Haku looked at Zabuza curiously. "It seems as if we have another reason to join up with them now… all I know is that if my hunch is right and this info is true, we probably don't stand a chance against them this time around."

o. o. o.

Tazuna's home:

The residents of the house were astounded by the sheer quantity of food that Naruto was inhaling, yet still somehow managing to display somewhat decent table manners.

"Has he even stopped to breathe yet?" Sakura asked in a daze.

"I… don't think so." Replied an equally stupefied Sasuke.

"Is he even human?" Tsunami, Tazuna's daughter, asked incredulously.

"There are times that I wonder that myself." Answered a resting Kakashi.

"Hey (munch munch), why aren't you guys eating too? This stuff's great!"

"We would if we weren't afraid of having our hands digested." Mumbled Tazuna.

"Naruto…" Kakashi spoke up… "You do realize that the country is going through financial fallout right now, right?"

Naruto looked up to see everyone's faces before swallowing slowly and putting his chopsticks down. "I apologize for my rude behavior and…"

"Why bother?" Inari interrupted from the stairs behind the group, getting everyone's attention. "Why are you even here, pretending to be some kind of stupid hero? You're just going to die. Gatō's men will just come and kill you. You should just give up; you'll live longer that way. It's not like heroes exist, anyway."

Naruto smirked, knowing that he would at least manage to get Inari on the right path soon. "I'm not going anywhere, kid. It takes a lot to kill me. Besides, I gave your grandpa my word that we would help him finish his bridge…"

"Shut up!" The small boy screamed. "You don't know how hard life is! You stand there with that stupid grin on your face, but you have no idea how cruel…"

Slam! Shink!

The temper tantrum was cut short by Naruto slamming his left hand down on the table and stabbing it clear through with the kunai in his right hand, pinning himself to the table and scaring the living shit out of everyone.

"Inari." Naruto said in a low voice. "You still have your mother and your grandfather. They love you very much and would die for you. Your grandfather is risking his life for not only you, but everyone in the country to live free and happy. If they saw you in my position, with your hand pinned to the table and your blood flowing out, they would try their hardest to calm you down, to make the pain go away, hug you, be there for you…" Naruto looked up with a sad smile on his face.

"I never had any of that. I never had someone hug me and tell me it was going to be all right. I never had a birthday party with friends. I never had people to help me up when I was picked on or beaten up. The entire time, I watched as everyone my age played happily with their families from the sidelines and wondered: why couldn't that be me? And you know what the sad thing is?" Inari, scared shook his head slowly. "I know I'm not the only one." Naruto said sadly, taking the kunai out of his hand with a hard jerk. "I know that somewhere out there is some sad person who has it worse than me. Someone who has been betrayed by someone they have trusted with their lives, someone who has lost everything they have held dear and all the bonds they held close completely shattered. I realized that a long time ago. So in respect for those people, I stopped crying for myself since then…"

Naruto showed his healing hand to the hosting family, who gaped in awe as the wound healed at a miraculous pace. "It was only recently that my healing ability truly revealed itself, but even if I didn't have it, I would still protect the old man with my life. I'd rather die a hero and know I actually did something worthwhile than live on as some kind of coward while everyone around me suffers because of it."

Naruto looked around at everyone's faces before walking to the door. "To tell you the truth, my hero died the day I was born, but I didn't cry or give up hope simply because he died. I was told long ago that the most amazing thing about heroes was that they are human, just like the rest of us. …I'm gonna train some more. Zabuza's still alive and I wanna make sure I'm ready to take him on…"

As the door shut behind him, the residents seemed to remember to breathe. Inari started to cry and ran upstairs without saying a word to anyone. Sakura, Tsunami and Tazuna were both quiet, pondering just how bad Naruto had had it. Kakashi remained silent, but Sasuke was the most confused out of all of them.

_'The dobe knows. He FUCKING KNOWS about what happened to me and he didn't say anything! What else is he hiding from me?'_

"He's… an orphan?" Tsunami asked.

Kakashi sighed. "Yes. He was found the day the Kyūbi attacked the village. Neither of his parents were found, and he was raised in an orphanage. Due to his peculiar birthmarks, he wasn't well received by many and was often left in less than appropriate care, so much so that he had to live in an apartment by himself by the time he was seven. He had to teach himself many everyday things just to get by. I'm surprised that he ended up as well as he did…"

Tazuna breathed out slowly before taking a heavy gulp of sake as Tsunami started to cry. Sakura started to feel guilty for all the crap she had put him through during the academy and Sasuke… well, he decided that the dobe wasn't that worthless after all. He still was a dobe though.

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"Ow!" Hinata flinched as Shino patted on a bandage around her bruised arm.

"My apologies, Hinata." Shino replied in a monotone voice.

"Heh, I would be careful if I were you Shino. You piss her off and she'll kick your ass…" Kiba joked as he wrapped another bandage around Hinata's head.

"Kiba-kun…" Hinata pouted, disappointed that her teammate thought of her like that.

"Joking aside Hinata, I'm very impressed." Kurenai complimented, holding back her real thoughts.

Kiba snorted. "Only impressed? Hinata freaking owned Neji! I never thought she could move that fast! And what was with that technique at the end? You practically broke that tree with Neji's body! The look on his face when he found out he couldn't get back up again…"

Hinata looked down. "I wanted to keep my techniques a secret. That was one of my stronger moves, and I was hoping to save it for a better occasion… and not on Neji-nii-san… B-besides, I lost the match by disqualification because I used it…"

Kiba laughed. "Ah, who cares about that? We have the strongest genin on our team isn't that right Shino?"

Shino turned to his teammate and sighed, apparently not noticing the small twitches that Hinata was making. "Strength isn't everything in our line of work, Kiba. You know this." He looked at the medical supplies around him. "We seem to be lacking adequate supplies to cover the remainder of Hinata's wounds. Kiba, go see if you can get find some more while I take care of some of her other injuries."

Kiba nodded and walked away with Akamaru. Hinata waited for the pair to get out of sight before she spoke again. "You want to ask me something." She stated. Shino nodded briefly.

"… I am aware that you trained with Naruto and Ghost-sensei during the academy." He started, getting a wide eyed reaction from his teacher and teammate, "And I know it is a secret. I trust you enough to know that you would not hide something like us for good reasons, however I am curious about several things…" Hinata looked at Shino nervously, waiting for his questions. "First on my mind, how strong is Naruto? I have no doubt that he is the strongest genin out of all of us, but by what factor I do not know…"

Hinata fumbled with her hands, knowing that Kurenai was also curious about how strong Naruto was. She had seen enough to know that the boy was easily upper chūnin in skill, but also that he was hiding a lot as well. "Uuum." Hinata stalled, truly not wanting to divulge her crush's secrets. "I-I once heard Kakashi-sensei say t-to Ghost-sensei t-that the o-only thing holding N-Naruto-kun back w-was his s-small s-size and temper, a-and that K-Kakashi-sensei and N-Naruto kun occasionally spar when no one is l-looking…"

Shino slowly nodded, understanding that that was as much as he was likely to get in that area, also taking note that Kurenai-sensei was not as surprised as she should have been. He made a mental note to be extremely careful around the blonde if he should ever fight up against him. "Understood." He replied. "However, I couldn't help but notice that Naruto is not well received in the village. I have more than once heard villagers whisper strange things behind his back and glare at him. On many an occasion I have even seen them refuse to sell him food or kick him out of stores. Are you aware of why this is so?"

Hinata paled before she withdrew into the beige coat that she was known for wearing. "I-I can't t-talk about it Shino-kun. I'm n-not allowed to t-tell anyone. N-No one is." Hinata stuttered, scared of where this would end up. "Y-You have t-to ask N-Naruto-kun. J-just don't t-tell anyone a-about t-this…"

Kurenai stepped in. "Hinata's right, Shino. I'm not allowed to talk about it either. If you wish to know more about Naruto, you'll have to ask him when he gets back from his mission."

Shino frowned, both disappointed that they couldn't answer his question and irritated that more questions had emerged in his original's place. Letting out a sigh, the Aburame bowed his head in defeat. "I understand. I will not press the matter." Tending to a deep bruise on Hinata's arm, Shino mulled over the new information he had received and the new questions popping in his head. He knew that he had pushed his luck at the moment and that it was wise to stop now.

"U-Um. You also fought well Shino-kun." Hinata stuttered, trying to revive the conversation again. "I saw that you and Lee-kun were fighting very fiercely against each other…"

Shino sighed. "I still have a long way to go Hinata. Lee was not trying nearly as hard as I hoped he would when fighting me. While we may have seemed to be evenly matched, I could tell that he was only using a fraction of his true skills against me…"

Kurenai patted Shino on the back. "Don't be discouraged Shino. Lee has a year's worth of Gai's taijutsu training ahead of you, and he focuses only on taijutsu while you have your clan techniques to study as well. All things considered, you've made great progress since you started your taijutsu training…" Shino absorbed this information and cracked a small smile. "Plus, did you see Ino's fight with Gai?" She sniggered. Ever since the blonde girl had insulted her in the middle of her lectures, she had developed a decent distaste for the Yamanaka. "Talk about one-sided…"

Hinata cringed. One sided was an understatement. Though Ino HAD been getting much stronger and more skilled, she was still getting used to her new fighting style, and unfortunately it was rather weak when put up against Gai's Strong Fist style. Even though he was taking it easy on the poor girl, the energetic man-thing was simply too fast and direct for the girl to evade despite the intense training she was receiving from Anko, who by the way was severely disappointed in the outcome of the fight and immediately took the girl to do some extreme conditioning as soon as she was knocked out. Everybody, except for Neji who was himself unconscious with a concussion, was cringing with remorse for the poor girl.

"T-That's not very nice Kurenai-sensei." Hinata said half-heartedly, her pride getting in the way of agreeing with her teacher completely. "Ino-san has been trying very hard lately."

Kurenai huffed. "So has everyone else, Hinata. Ino was the last person in your age group to start taking her training seriously, and even now she still talks back to us on occasion…"

"Still…" Hinata mumbled, wincing as Shino rubbed some alcohol on her arm.

"You shouldn't be worried Hinata." Shino said. "She has Chōji and Shikamaru there to watch over her, and they have become quite strong lately…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

Neji woke up to a world of pain. His entire body was throbbing and he could barely move his limbs or even breathe. The last thing he could remember was his spar against Hinata going a bit too far. They both said some things… then Hinata SOMEHOW started to kick his ass badly. He had managed to get some hits in, but Hinata returned the damage tenfold. He had no idea she could move that fast before, nor did he expect her to, and that led to a severe ass beating… and his underhanded attempt to attack her when she was leaving after the match was called…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

" _I apologize for what the main family has done to you Neji-nii-san. It never should have happened, and you have my condolences. However, I will no longer let myself play the part of your pathetic punching bag while you pretend to deal with your emotions, nor will I continue to let anyone mistake my kindness for weakness. Fate can only determine what will most likely happen, and thus can be changed. As many people say, Fate is a bitch. If you continue to play the role of a bitch's bitch, I will start to wonder if you have any pride at all." Hinata glared down at him after she had just landed several deciding blows on Neji and managed to temporarily ground the raging boy. "Grow up, nii-san. The world is more complicated than what your precious eyes can see, Byakugan or not, genius or not. It does not take much to see that you are truly the one that is suffering, not I. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get on with your life and actually do something productive for once." Hinata closed her eyes and turned to leave the sparring ring._

_Neji lost his temper. How dare that failure challenge fate, challenge HIM! Getting back up, the misled boy charged at his cousin as she walked away, however she knew he was coming. When he came within appropriate range, Hinata spun around and thrust out her arm, releasing a pulse of rapidly spinning chakra that didn't seem to dissipate with contact of the air (A/N: Think of how a rifle bullet acts, but instead of a tiny piece of metal, think of something roughly the size of a bazooka shell). "Eight Trigrams: Heaven Bullet." (A/N: I know, not the most creative name for a technique, but honestly, it works and it fits.) Hinata muttered as the attack hit Neji dead on and threw him in the complete opposite direction, nailing him against a tree and knocking him out painfully._

o. o. o.

"Gai-sensei! Neji's woken up!" A voice shouted from right next to him, ensuring that the stated fact was enforced.

"Tenten?" Neji moaned as he opened his eyes to see his female teammate hovering over him with a look of worry on her face. "What… happened?"

Tenten nervously looked away. "Erm. Well, Hinata pretty much mopped the floor with you and knocked you out with some weird technique I've never seen before. Afterwards, everyone pretty much split up to recover from their wounds seeing as our spars were a bit more extreme than usual today. You've been out for around three hours."

Neji stared at Tenten blankly for a few moments before slowly nodding. Looking at his body, Neji could see many areas heavily wrapped in bandages. From how he was aching, he guessed that several of his ribs were broken, or at least bruised. "Did…" He spoke out hoarsely. "Did you do this?"

Tenten blushed, and for once this caught Neji's attention. He had seen her blush around him before, but this was the first time that it registered with him that she was blushing because of him. (A/N: Yes people, Neji is as dense as Naruto when it comes to women, somewhat due to the fact that he hangs around men so much and also due to the fact that the Hyūga look and act so damn asexual as a whole that he never really saw a difference between the two.)

"Y-yeah." Tenten stuttered. "You have some deep bruises on your front and back and some broken ribs from that technique that Hinata pulled on you, but I managed to heal a good amount of it while you were out. It's still going to hurt of course, but you should be completely healed in a few days as long as you take it easy…"

Neji nodded as he rested his body against the ground again. His mind wandered to what Hinata had said to him. Maybe… maybe he was acting like a child when it came to Hinata. True, he did still resent her for her role in his father's death… however, now that he had thought about it, it was a tad petty for him to blame her for the entire event.

… No, it was extremely petty of him to do so. Blaming her for getting kidnapped in her sleep from her own home when she was 3 years old was extremely foolhardy and stupid. He remembered that it was right after the incident that he started to feel depressed and resigned himself to the thought that fate determined everything… so much so that he tried his hardest to force others to think the same way. For some reason, he always felt like screaming at the top of his lungs to no one in particular every time he did so, but he never really knew why, so he decided to ignore the feeling. Remembering Hinata's… unique analogy about being fate's bitch, Neji felt that she may have been on to something, despite her less than elegant presentation of the theory. "Thanks… Tenten." Neji decided that he should continue this train of thought when he woke up again, and when his chest decided to stop killing him …

o. o. o.

Gatō's hideout:

"Ugh. How much longer do we have to take care of that annoying little gnome?" Groaned a blue haired and well-endowed kunoichi with a Kusa headband on her forehead as she painted her nails with her special nail polish. "Every time it's my turn to protect him, he leers at me with those annoying eyes and starts trying to hit on me. It's getting annoying.

"Until he thinks our services are no longer needed, Rika." Sighed her taller and older partner, who was polishing his sword, a large two-handed blade that seemed out of place in a world ruled by ninja. He was wearing standard ninja attire as well, his face and head both covered. "Even though we dislike what our client does, as long as he pays us and follows our rules, there's nothing we can do about it. It you want to blame anyone, blame that guy who's been taking out our client's friends… and hope he comes here soon." He mumbled out near the end.

"I hear that Zabuza got his ass kicked when he tried to take down the bridge builder." Rika mused as she blew on her nails. "Seems that the drunk somehow got lucky and got Copycat Kakashi and some genin as his bodyguards. Word is that one of them could tell where mummy face was even in his mist and called him out."

"Doubt it." Mused the taller man. "Zabuza's known to be the best when it comes to silent killing. There's no way a genin could point him out in his element, even if the genin was a Hyūga. You need to check your sources better next time…"

Rika shrugged. "Meh. It's just what I heard. You think we're gonna have to fight the Konoha team, Zurich?"

Zurich sighed. "My guess is that either we fight them, or we end up getting the joy of trying to take down Zabuza and that apprentice of his. We both know that the gnome isn't going to pay the two anything. More than likely he's going to wait to see how the fight ends and then show up at the end with that mob of fucking rejects and try to kill whoever's left… pending on if he wants any of the girls as prostitutes."

Rika groaned. "How the hell did we get into this mess?"

Zurich shook his head. "We're Kusa-nin. Our village isn't that big, so we gotta take the jobs that are offered to us, and unfortunately, many of the ones handed to us are the shadier ones that wouldn't last two seconds in any of the larger villages. Since we don't get as many missions as the five main villages, we gotta do what we can and make sure that we do them to the letter."

"Yeah, I know that, but it still doesn't mean that we have to whore ourselves to a slime ball like this…"

"It does when said slime ball is shelling out big money." Sighed a huge man as he walked in the room's only doorway

"Hey Kuma." The pair said automatically.

"Hey guys." Kuma replied tiredly. "Zurich, you're up."

"Got it." Zurich replied as he put his sword in its holster on his back and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Rika groaned. "I can't take this much longer! Kuma-kuuun, since we already know that we're going to have to fight either Kakashi or Zabuza soon, can we at least threaten Gatō that if he doesn't pay us more, we can leave, since it wasn't in our original contract to fight the employer's battles for him? We're only here for guard duty…"

Kuma stared at Rika, who was doing the dreaded puppy dog eyes technique and sighed. "Fine. After this fiasco is over, we'll tell Gatō to pay us more or we're leaving. I'm getting sick of the man myself… and even thinking of putting us up against someone like Zabuza or Kakashi is clearly crossing the line."

"You said it. I don't care if we are all special jōnin, taking on even one of those two at their best would be almost unthinkable…"

o. o. o.

In the woods near Tazuna's home:

Naruto sighed as he rested in the middle of the clearing. Even if he knew what Inari was going to say before he was going to say it, it still pissed him off to actually hear it. Those words had triggered something in his head and made him say and do things that he would rather have not said…

Mostly the doing things he regretted the most. He didn't show it, but stabbing his hand like that to the table had hurt like a bitch! He thought that he would simply look cool doing it and heal it up nice and clean as soon as he left, but apparently he managed to slice through several nerves with his stunt, and they haven't reconnected yet.

Relaxing a bit, Naruto let his mind wander. This lasted two seconds as he picked up someone approaching him from the woods, and not from the direction of Tazuna's home.

His Seventh Sense had developed further since his training with Team 7, and now he could almost hold it indefinitely unless he was traveling constantly. His control of the air around him had also developed quite well, as he could now generate strong winds at will. Before he left, Ghost had even given him instructions on how to **fly** … well, more like telling him the first major trick that would lead to him learning how to fly. The key was to anchor the air around him and move his body using the air as leverage, similar to how a person can move a large box with their arms and move themselves with the large box. The first trick that Naruto was working on was simply forcing his body in one direction really fast from standing position for a very short distance. To keep it simple, Ghost called the technique Dashing. It was an excellent way to get a head start in a fight, dodge an attack, or surprise someone, especially if the user is in mid-air at the time, but the problem was that the inertia the user puts on themselves in that brief moment is so great that it wasn't uncommon for the user to pass out, run themselves into several objects, get nauseous, become dizzy, and get massive headaches from just one or two uses if they are inexperienced. Naruto knew firsthand how dangerous the technique was when on several occasions he'd rammed himself headfirst into a tree, or on one occasion when he was trying to do it in mid-air and managed to nearly shatter his ass-bone on a rock. It took a loooong time for Ghost to recover from his laughing fit from that fiasco. Oh yeah, and Naruto was in pretty rough shape too.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Naruto growled as he stretched out his arms and got into a more appropriate position to move in. A person walked out from shadows of the trees. It was a very effeminate looking teen in a pink kimono and soft features.

"I apologize." Haku bowed deeply. "I presumed that you would be expecting me tonight as stated in the letter…" Haku took note of Naruto's wide eyes and guessed that he did not expect her arrival that day.

"Erm…" Naruto stumbled on his words as he looked up and indeed saw that it was pretty late in the evening. "Ah. Yeah… Sorry about that, Haku. Stuff happened at Tazuna's place and I needed to be alone for a moment." Naruto chuckled as he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, causing Haku to grin. Naruto shivered, staring at Haku. "Damn it Haku. If you didn't tell me you were a guy, I wouldn't be freaking out like this. It's not right I tell you. There's enough of that with the Hyūga clan and… why are you laughing?" Haku was laughing harder now, trying to keep the tears out of her eyes. She had little doubt that the boy in front of her was the same orange clad idiot from her memories despite his radical change in attire and skill. During this time, Naruto managed to pick up a whiff of Haku's scent, and frowned. "But… what… you said…Oh come on! You're really a GIRL? Honestly, it's like everyone's screwing with my head for fun!"

Haku managed to catch her breath before realizing what just happened. "How… how did you find out? I didn't say anything to…"

Naruto sighed as he tapped his nose. "I've changed a lot since you died, Haku. Technically, I'm older than you right now."

Haku sobered as she glared at her supposed friend. She didn't completely trust the story just yet, but there were too many similarities to simply just ignore everything. "How long?" She asked hesitantly.

Naruto's face darkened as he relaxed on the ground again. "Three years, give or take a few months. Things were somewhat calm for the most part after the mission, but shit went crazy during the Chūnin Exams. I… we all had to get strong in order to cope." He paused for a moment before looking at Haku again. "Before we continue, can you give me back the chain link? I'm kind of the keeper of them when they aren't used." Naruto shifted back the sleeves on his right arm to reveal his bracer on his forearm and two chain links on his developed bicep.

Haku looked at Naruto. "What makes you thing I have it?"

Naruto glared at Haku. "Sensei used his on Zabuza, and you obviously remember everything. Haku, that link is very dangerous in the wrong hands. We used it on you two because we trust you, given with what we know and what we all experienced last time. Please give me back the link."

Haku frowned. She was told not to give the link back if asked to, but Naruto was very convincing, plus he may tell her more if she did so. "You've changed. And for the better I might add." She teased as she rolled up her kimono's sleeve to reveal the tattoo.

Naruto smirked as he reached forward and picked the link out of her arm as if it was second nature to him. "Thanks, but I already have a girlfriend."

Haku chuckled. "That's not what I meant." She calmed down. "There are other differences between what you have shown us and this time around, though…"

Naruto frowned, not liking this one bit. "Changes?"

Haku hesitated before continuing. "There have been several assassinations recently amongst the slaving community. Many of Gatō's partners in business have been killed, and he has been quite on edge recently. I have noticed that he has several ninja bodyguards now… I believe from Kusa. Zabuza-sama and I have yet to contact them, but we are well aware of their presence. I believe that they are all special jōnin level…"

Naruto swore. "Damnit Ero-nii! Why is it that the first real problem we come up with is one that you caused?"

Haku blinked. "Ero-nii?"

Naruto sighed. "Yeah. He's the guy that gave us our… second chance." He dropped his head, crying anime tears. "He's also the guy that killed Gatō's partners, and the one that makes my life a living hell with the torture called training."

Haku hesitated. She did not expect this to happen. "Another difference I noticed was that Konoha got another clan… one with an exceptional assassin in it. Is that…?"

Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yeah. That's Ero-nii's family all right. The Ōgakari clan?" Haku nodded. "Yep. The assassin you heard about was Ero-nii, otherwise known as Ghost. The guy is nuts, but he's the one who gave us another chance and he IS training me…"

Haku arched an eyebrow. "Is he the one who taught you that odd wind technique you used to find Zabuza-sama?"

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, only I'm still a beginner at using it. You wouldn't believe the stuff that Ero-nii can do with it. I learned some other stuff as well though."

Haku looked at Naruto intently. "…How strong are you?"

Naruto paused for a moment before looking Haku in the eyes. "Are you asking me about that time I freaked out?"

Haku didn't blink. "… I told Zabuza-sama about it. He seems to know what you are… and claims that we can't beat your team if you know how to control it."

Naruto flinched slightly before sighing. "Tell Zabuza… that he's right, and I have other ways to become stronger as well, however I do not think that I need them in order to beat either of you… no offence." He held up his arms and produced a Rasengan in each hand almost instantly, astounding Haku with the technique. "Ask him to tell you what Rasengan is… then tell him I… completed it." Naruto could see that Haku was frowning a bit. "I'm not threatening you." He immediately said. "I'm just showing that I've gotten stronger. I kinda became the Toad Sage's apprentice after the Chūnin Exams… Even so, I highly doubt I could beat either one of you without getting the shit beaten out of me first. Seriously, that ice mirror technique of yours hurts like hell."

"The Toad Sage?" Haku gasped. "The legendary Jiraiya?"

"If by legendary you mean pervert, then yes, though I call him Ero-Sennin." Naruto snorted, causing Haku to sweat drop. "He's also in on this second chance plan, as well as the Slug Sannin Tsunade, Kakashi-sensei, and Hokage-jiji as well as some other people, so Zabuza won't have to worry about having strong allies."

Haku smiled. "It will be a bit difficult to be allies with the man that tried to kill my master and did kill me you know." She joked, causing Naruto to pale.

"Ahhh. Yeah. Well, it's been hard for me too. I've had a lot of people close to me die too. How do you thing I feel, going through every day next to them again when I see their dead bodies flash through my mind every time I talk to them?" Naruto paused for a moment. "By the way… thanks for not killing Sasuke…"

Haku nodded. "I could tell that he was someone precious to you. I could not bring myself to kill you or your teammates, so I believed I could knock all of you out and kill Tazuna. You saw how that turned out though…"

"Tell me about it." Naruto chuckled, before sobering up. "…What you told me about protecting those I held precious to me… thanks. You have no idea how much it helped me out later on. I would have died horribly if I didn't remember what you told me."

Haku blinked. It was becoming more and more difficult for her to believe that what she had remembered could be a trick. She could not detect any lies or misdirection in his voice, and there were no inconsistencies with what the two had talked about. "Y-You're welcome, Naruto-kun." Haku managed to stutter out. Quite frankly, she was a bit unnerved with the situation.

Naruto sighed as he looked up at the sky. "It's getting late. The others are going to get worried soon and we're going to start training tomorrow for when you two appear again in a week… don't worry, we knew you were coming last time, too, so there's not much real difference. We'll talk about what will happen on the bridge tomorrow." Naruto got back up and started to walk back in the direction of Tazuna's home. "One last thing though." Naruto called over his shoulder. "I still don't think that people are tools, let alone you, Haku." Haku frowned, about to respond when Naruto continued. "However, it doesn't mean I don't approve of protecting those who are precious to you. All I'm saying is that you CAN be there for those you care about without being their tool." Naruto shrugged before disappearing into the woods, leaving Haku to ponder his words.

o. o. o.

A/N

AND CUT! Wow that was a long chapter. Glad to get that out of my system.

So. Did you guys miss me?

And on to semi important stuff.

Pictures: So far the only pictures I have received are the ones my sister has made. The links are on my profile. They aren't the best things around, but they are a good reference of what my OCs should remotely look like, so use them as a reference source if you need to.

Update day: Ok, so Saturday has pulled ahead, but only barely. I'll give this poll two more weeks before I close it.

Message to all: I have been getting many reviews and messages from people who speak like… well… Crypt. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that you are enjoying my insane character so much, but there is a limit. I learned long ago that such insane treats are best in small doses. It quickly gets annoying if all you see is constant random messages that sound like a reject conspiracy theories from a Da Vinci Code reject story. That's why I ask that if you must send me messages like that, please use them sparingly, as it takes the fun away from writing Crypt… and we all want Crypt to show up more… don't we? (insert creepy glare here)

Naruto chapter thoughts: Chapter 469

Great chapter. No Sasuke. Plot advancement. Some fighting. Some Killer B. Naruto NOT acting like an idiot. Sakura FINALLY getting called out on being a moron. Me likie where this is going. NARU HINA FANS REJOICE!

Other News:

I got the new Ratchet and Clank game a few days ago, and it is fucking hilarious. I consider myself a bit of a gamer, and as such I already have the RYNO V. Holy shit. This gun has more barrels than the number of… barrels Tsunade can down in a year… and the thing PLAYS THE FUCKING 1812 OVERTURE WHEN YOU FIRE IT! (You know that song, the classical one where people fire cannons in the background as part of the percussion, normally played when fireworks go off… yeah, that one.) I was laughing so much when I first got it. Thumbs up all the way. A definite buy.

So anyways. Please review. Please attempt to draw my OCs, I made up the Kusa nin on the fly, and watch out for carpenter polar bears. PEACE!


	22. …garrr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 22: …garrr

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

If you enjoy my sense of humor on any level, watch Needless… NOW. It's like Gurren Lagann, but with far more fan service and five times as much crack. I can't believe I put off watching it 'til now.

o. o. o.

" _I'm sorry." He whispered out feebly for what seemed like the hundredth time, unable to do any more as his body was impaled by the strongest emotions he had felt in years. He walked mechanically to her beautiful laid out body, ashamed and plagued by what he had done to her, and what he was about to do._

" _May you never hear another's voice but mine…" She whispered back in response, freezing him in his tracks as he started to shiver uncontrollably, unable to speak._

" _May you never feel another's embrace but mine…" She continued, causing her listener to pale dramatically in fear and sorrow._

" _May all your days be filled with thoughts of what you have done to me." He collapsed onto his knees, crying heavily, unable to form coherent words._

" _May you live for all eternity."_

o. o. o.

"What's so important that you wanted to talk to me away from Kakashi-sensei and Sakura, teme?" Naruto asked tiredly to his teammate as they sat in the room Tsunami lent them for their stay, completely oblivious of Sasuke's serious demeanor.

"Can it, dobe." The emo growled. "You know too much about me, stuff I haven't told ANYONE aside from the Hokage and some ANBU, yet Sakura and I know jack shit about you or how you got so damn strong all of a sudden." Naruto raised an eyebrow at Sasuke's rant. He would have been a bit more concerned if it weren't for the fact that his partner was actually speaking his mind about the situation and almost showing concern for him. "You are going to tell me how you know so much about me, and then you are going to tell everyone how you got so damn strong or I'll…"

"You will what, teme?" Naruto interrupted coldly, flaring some of his own killing intent out. "Fight me? Demand Kakashi to force me to tell you? Do you honestly think that would work?" Naruto stared down his teammate, who was slowly backing up, shivering from Naruto's glare. Naruto sighed and dropped his presence as he sat down on his bed. "Sorry, teme, but you should know better than to demand stuff like that from me that way." The blonde took a good look at Sasuke before sighing again. "Damn it. You're not going to leave me alone about this, are you?"

Sasuke paused before regaining control over himself. "…No, I'm not dobe. You've been hiding a lot from Sakura and I, and it's getting on my nerves. We're supposed to be a team, yet we barely know anything about you."

Naruto gave Sasuke a tired look. "Teme, the same could be said about you. How much does Sakura actually know about you?" Naruto blinked several times before putting on a thoughtful expression. "… Actually, how much do we really know about Sakura? Seriously, I don't think she's said much about her family life aside from the standard school girl woes that come out of almost any girl's mouth." Naruto knew that Sakura's mom was a complete bitch, but that was because she was on the council. Other than that, he really didn't know much about the girl aside from her likes, dislikes, and some personality quirks.

Sasuke frowned before Naruto's words registered in his head. Sasuke tried to think of what he knew of Sakura aside from the fact that she was a level 74 fangirl with hypersonic screeching abilities and the pink hair of obscene distraction, and realized that he was coming up amazingly short. Also, he realized how little he actually thought of Sakura in general, despite the fact that she was becoming a far more competent ninja. "… What are you trying to get at, dobe?" Sasuke asked curiously.

Naruto sighed. "I'm saying that despite the fact that we kick ass, especially in group training, we don't know that much about each other…" Naruto caught the look that Sasuke was giving him, "Or at least we don't trust each other much to tell about our personal lives yet…"

"Get to the punch line already dobe, I want to get to sleep sometime tonight." Sasuke demanded irritably.

Naruto frowned. "What I'm saying is that we need to get together and spill out most, if not all of our beans to each other, preferably before Zabuza comes back."

Sasuke glared at Naruto. "You can't possibly mean that I should tell Sakura about…"

Naruto interrupted the Uchiha immediately. "You do that, and I'll spill as to why my chakra reserves are through the roof and why you see all the villagers glaring at me and treating me like shit." Sasuke raised his eyes in shock as Naruto stared right at him with an extremely serious expression. "Just to let you know, I'm still going to be hiding stuff from you and Sakura after this, but believe me when I say that it's not the time or the place to be telling you such things. I'm already pushing it by letting you know about what I'm going to tell you if you agree to this."

Sasuke paused as he contemplated what Naruto had told him. On one hand, he would be telling a leading fangirl of all things the reason why his life was so screwed up, as well as talking about it in general. Every time he brought up those memories, he had to sit down to keep from throwing up. On the other hand, he did realize that he was curious about his teammates. He had long come to the conclusion that working in groups raised the battle potential of its members by a huge margin, and gaining power was still high on his to-do list, even if he was going towards it in a roundabout way. Plus, he would finally be able to find out what the hell was up with Naruto. Sure, the idiot would keep some secrets to himself, but at least it was better than nothing. Besides, at least he wasn't telling Kiba and Ino. Those two would have the entire village knowing about what had happened to him within ten minutes of getting back to Konoha. "… Fine. But you better fess up some decent stuff, dobe." Sasuke growled.

Naruto smirked. "Would S-class village secrets suffice?" Naruto basked in the glory that was a stunned Sasuke before speaking again. "Oh, and you have to talk before me. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that my story's going to be very distracting and I want you to be able to think when you talk. And then…"

"And then?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"And then we go to bed, wake up knowing that whatever the hell we learned about each other doesn't change who we were overnight, and proceed to train our balls off so we don't get brutally murdered by the rogue member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist that is hiding somewhere in a twenty mile radius of where we are now during the next week!" Naruto replied in a way too cheerful manner with sparkles in his eyes and behind him as well.

Sasuke in turn, face faulted and glared at the blonde. "Do you have to be so damn cheerful about this?" He growled irritably.

Naruto sighed. "You should remember that the best way to deal with a tense situation is to crack a joke of some sort. It's another way to prevent us from going completely nuts on the job. Besides, I thought that you would be interested to know that Kakashi-sensei gave us the okay to practice THAT combo if you can manage to do water walking by the end of the week." Naruto gave himself a pat on the back as he saw Sasuke's expression change from annoyance, to confusion, to pure unequivocal adolescent child glee. He didn't jump up and down like most boys their age would, but he sure as hell was having trouble keeping still.

"You serious?" Sasuke grinned eagerly, knowing what happened the last time the two tried to pull off the technique… Kakashi had to drag both of them back to the hospital, despite Naruto's healing factor and Sakura's clear talent for medical ninjutsu. Ghost was laughing his ass off due to both the sheer power of the technique itself, and watching the spectacular way it blew up in their faces. Ah, if only Naruto could take a picture of Sasuke's expression right now and sell it to the fan girl population back in Konoha; he would make a fortune. Especially since Sasuke had managed to find and burn the original copies of the sweaty shirtless line.

Naruto smirked, noting down that he would have to force Kakashi to let them practice the destructive technique after Sasuke did manage to finish the chakra control exercise. "Yeah. Sensei said that after learning water walking, your control should be high enough to not overflow your end of the jutsu like last time."

Sasuke snorted. "Funny how you have the kage-level chakra reserves, yet I'm the one overflowing the technique."

Naruto chuckled. "Hey, I'm the one who's been practicing chakra control on large techniques for the past half year. You only just started to tree climb a couple months ago. I'm way ahead of you in the control exercise department. Now before we start arguing about stupid little stuff, I suggest we spend a good fifteen minutes daydreaming about the obscene and raw destruction we will soon be able to perform." Sasuke frowned at Naruto for a moment before sighing and nodding his head, getting a head start on the blonde as he imagined huge craters and large explosions, giggling in a very familiar manner. Naruto smirked and followed suit. No matter how young or old a male is, they will always be fascinated and easily distracted with the potential ability to blow things up, especially if the resulting crater is over 20 meters wide…

o. o. o.

Kakashi was walking down the hall to his room when he heard very familiar sounds of giggling coming from the boy's room. The cyclops moved to open the door, only to stop, eye smile, and continue walking towards his room.

"Ghost must have finally turned them on to the wonders of literature…" Kakashi mused in a blissfully unaware daze while taking out his own piece of literature. "Now let's see how Shana manages to defeat the blob aliens that have taken her as a slave (insert perverted giggle)."

o. o. o.

"I see." Mused Hiashi as he observed his unaware nephew as Neji walked through the clan gates with the aid of Tenten. "So Hinata defeated Neji in a spar, but due to her using techniques outside of the academy standard, she automatically disqualified herself…" He summed up to Gai.

Gai nodded with a wide grin on his face. "Yes! However, it was a very youthful fight! You should be proud of your daughter, Hyūga-sama! Her taijutsu is among the best I have ever seen! I had no idea that she could move faster than Neji! She had never shown signs of such promise before!"

Hiashi nodded. "I believe that it was due to all the extra aid she has received recently from various sources." He hinted, getting a brief nod from Gai. "Tell me, how is Neji taking his defeat?"

Gai put on a serious face and calmed down, knowing that he would not be able to explain the situation properly while still in his normal youthful persona. "I believe he is… confused." Gai started, gaining Hiashi's full attention. "You know as well as I do that Neji has a rather strict view on life due to certain… influences…" Gai hinted, slightly accusing Hiashi of his part in the problem. Hiashi in turn only gave the smallest of expressions to show that he was feeling guilty. He still had a reputation to maintain after all. "Well, Neji's defeat went against everything that he believed in, and now he's trying to put the pieces back together in a way that would make sense. I believe that he is at a very sensitive position at the moment…"

Hiashi nodded slowly, understanding Gai's concern and Neji's predicament. Thinking heavily, the Hyūga clan head decided that the timing would not be better than it was now. "You have my thanks, Gai. I will take care of Neji from here. Do not worry, he is in good hands." Hiashi frowned slightly. "I will personally make sure of it."

Gai frowned as he tried to interpret what Hiashi was trying to tell him, but quickly gave up. He was never good at reading other's thoughts, let alone remembering his opponent's names. "Just be sure his flames of youth have not been… diminished before my return. Neji has shown great promise since he began training. I cannot help but remind you that both of our reputations would diminish if anything were to happen to him…" Gai turned around and left on that note, letting his words hang in the air for Hiashi to ponder.

And ponder he did.

After several minutes of thinking, Hiashi came to his conclusion. It was only two months away until Ghost's family would arrive in the village, and with them the promised seal that would save his clan. Neji was probably as accepting of change as he would ever be right now, and thus now was the best time to act. Hiashi started to get excited as he walked into the compound. Best case scenario, there would be little to no issue persuading the elders to change the clan's seal, unite the two houses, and thus become one big family.

… Yeah, right. And Iwa would announce that they'd adopted the Log as their official mascot, declare Konoha to be their tree-brothers, and spend the rest of their days spreading peace, joy, and an appreciation for marijuana throughout the land.

Needless to say, Hiashi had little to no doubt that Plan B was going to have to be used. He only hoped that Neji would be able to gather himself quickly enough to do what Hiashi was planning…

o. o. o.

"Wow…" Naruto mused as Sakura finished summarizing what her family was like. "No wonder you were a complete bitch before Ero-nii got to you."

Sasuke snorted. "And who was the one who had a crush on said bitch?"

"Watch it, teme…" Naruto growled.

"Can you please stop calling me a bitch?" Sakura mumbled, stuck emotionally between absolute rage and pure humility. She had realized as she was describing her family life that her behavior was not exactly … ideal, what with a perfectionist father and having several family members arguing at once at all hours of the day. "I _have_ gotten better, you know…"

"Thank the Log." Sighed Sasuke just before he noticed the looks that Naruto and Sakura were giving him. "What? We all agreed that Sakura was a complete weakling that did absolutely nothing but cheer and shout from the sidelines before she actually took her training seriously."

"I still haven't done that much during the mission so far…" Grumbled Sakura, disappointed that she was still technically on the sidelines while Naruto and Sasuke did most of the fighting.

Naruto pounded Sakura on the head. "Don't you dare go emo on us now," Growled Naruto. "I'm already having enough trouble bringing this asshole (points at Sasuke) back to the land of the living. I can't help you at the same time."

"Besides, who the hell said you were useless? You helped distract the Demon Brothers while protecting Tazuna at the same time. To be honest, if it weren't for the fact that we're dealing with Zabuza, you would be the most important member of the team on this mission right now. You are the last line of defense, you know several genjutsu and medical ninjutsu, and you are damn smart. In short, you are Tazuna's best chance of surviving this fiasco."

Sasuke nodded. "Ignoring the emo comment, the dobe's right. You are the best suited for guarding the drunk, and hence you are our best chance at making sure the mission goes smoothly. Dobe and I are combat types, so making sure things don't break or bleed is not exactly something we're good at. We wouldn't trust you with Tazuna's health if we didn't think you were up to it, Sakura."

Sakura's eyes started to leak tears as her teammate's words registered with her. "Th-thanks, guys. I really needed that."

Naruto smirked. "Anytime, Sakura." He turned to Sasuke. "You're up, teme."

Sasuke frowned, knowing that this was going to push his self-imposed limits to the max. His only salvation was that Naruto already knew somehow, and if all else failed he could guilt/'charm' (using the term as loosely as possible, of course) Sakura into keeping quiet. Taking a deep breath, Sasuke took the plunge. "Fine, dobe. I was born and raised in the Uchiha clan. I was the second son of the clan leader, Fugaku Uchiha."

Naruto snorted. "Fugaku? Honestly? Wow. Just, wow."

Sasuke ignored Naruto as his mood darkened. "My older brother was… Itachi Uchiha. He was a genius in every sense of the word. He graduated the academy by the time he was seven. A year later, he had already mastered the Sharingan, my clan's dōjutsu. By the age of ten, he had already become a chūnin, and when he was our age, he'd attained the rank of Captain in the ANBU." Sasuke paused to let the information settle in to his listeners, including himself. "He was the pride of my clan… but more than that, he was the person that I looked up to the most. I dreamed of catching up to him, starting my training at an early age and practicing hard every day. My father did nothing but praise my brother, but whenever I did something good, he would just compare me to Itachi. To be honest, it hurt a lot, being compared to my genius brother all the time..."

Sakura blinked a few times before speaking up. "Wait… you have a brother? Why haven't I…?"

"Sakura." Naruto interrupted coldly, staring the girl in the eyes for a few moments before looking down and nodding to Sasuke.

Sasuke returned the gesture slowly before continuing. "I would be very surprised if you knew about my brother, Sakura. No one around our age aside from me is supposed to know of him, or about what happened to my family." Sakura's eyes widened, remembering that something happened to the Uchiha clan several years ago. "When I was 7, Itachi killed my entire clan… except for me." The temperature in the room dropped several degrees as Sasuke continued, his voice now a strained monotone. "I was out late training that day, so I got home during the night. What I saw… was horrible. My entire clan was butchered, laid out on the streets where they fell."

"They'd been cut down without any form of honor … and left to rot."

"I ran home as fast as I could. I was scared for my parents … and my brother." Sasuke took a deep breath. "When I opened the door… I saw Itachi standing over my mom and dad. They were dead. Their blood was on his ANBU-issue sword." He shivered. "I was in a state of shock. I begged him. I cried. I screamed. Why would he do something like that?"

"… He told me he simply wanted to test his power… how strong he had become."

"… Then he put me in a genjutsu. He made me watch my family die right in front of my eyes over and over again for what seemed like days, and I couldn't do anything about it. When it was finally over, I was back in that horrible room, with Itachi staring right at me with that warped Sharingan of his. Now, when I think about it … the entire thing probably didn't take more than a few moments on the outside." Sasuke glared as Sakura cried and Naruto looked at him in pity and deep thought. "He told me that if I wanted to kill him, I would have to live my life alone … hating him, despising him…"

He took a deep breath. "After that, everything blurs. I woke up in the hospital. After I was deemed recovered by the Hokage's psychologists, I was put in an apartment not far from my clan's complex. The rest is probably what you've already seen. I separated myself from everyone, mostly fangirls, and spent the majority of my time training to kill my… brother."

"S-Sasuke-kunnnn." Sakura wailed as she jumped and clung onto the emo. "I'm (sniff), so sorry. I never knew!" She mumbled into his coat, despite his protests of not wanting anyone on him at the moment. After a few moments, Sakura managed to separate herself from her crush and wiped her eyes with her arm. "I-I promise, I won't be a burden anymore." She said weakly, but with conviction. "I'll help you Sasuke-kun. You won't have to do this alone and…"

Naruto frowned, trying to think things through. Even if he didn't know much about Itachi, from encountering him in the future and from what Ghost had hinted to him, Naruto knew that something else was up. The paranoia of twelve long years of living alone and being chased by angry mobs rose up in a fury inside Naruto. "Something's not right…" He mumbled to himself.

"What was that, dobe?" Sasuke asked slash growled at Naruto.

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, putting on a focused look that his teammates were familiar with. "Teme… you said you were close to Itachi, at least before… that, right?"

Sasuke slowly nodded. "Your point being?"

Naruto frowned. "Did he obsess about power before the massacre?"

Sasuke focused, trying to remember that far back. "No, he didn't… at least not until a few days beforehand. That was when some weird things happened in the clan…" Sasuke frowned. "Itachi's best friend Shisui died. They said it was a suicide, I think, but I heard others in the clan say that Itachi could have done it… and that Shisui was supposed to be watching him because he was acting weird." Sasuke mused to himself. "He also wasn't getting along with dad and the rest of the clan for some reason…"

Naruto frowned. His intuition, honed by all the shōgi games with Shikamaru and all those scenario studies with Asuma, was bothering him. Some of the pieces of evidence that he had, they didn't fit together. Not well, anyway. And if they didn't quite fit…

Then … maybe that was because something was missing.

There was more to this story.

"Teme… did you hear anything about your brother after the massacre? Like, did he go on another killing spree, or did he beat anyone strong?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto, wanting to get off the topic as soon as possible. "No, dobe. After he killed my family, he just disappeared. What are you trying to get at?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke coldly and chose his words carefully. "Teme… I think that your brother was lying to you when he said that he killed your family to test his power."

Sasuke took out a kunai slowly and glared at Naruto with murder in his eyes. "Care to run by that me again?"

Naruto sighed. "Sasuke, your brother was a genius, but some things aren't matching up here. You said he wanted to test his power against your clan… so, why did he stop? If he is as strong as you say he is, then why haven't we heard about him killing some legendary ninja or at least making a name for himself recently? You think in five years he would have done something worth noticing, even if he was trying to hide his tracks…" Sasuke frowned, regrettably seeing the logic in Naruto's words. "Also, what he did to you… it's weird."

"W-weird how?" Sakura stuttered.

"I mean, it almost sounds like Itachi went out of his way to make sure that Sasuke would obsess about killing him." Naruto explained in a contemplating tone. "Hear me out. Teme, you said that your entire clan was butchered. As in, slashed to pieces, right? No scorch marks, no signs of jutsu?" Sasuke nodded solemnly. "Then why did he use such a powerful genjutsu on you to show that he was serious about killing your clan? Wouldn't it be easier and more efficient to just slash you up?"

"Instead, he tells you that if you want to kill him, you should hate him with all your might for the rest of your life, and then leaves after mocking you some more. Call me what you want, but it almost sounds like he was trying to make sure you get strong for some reason…" Naruto paused before turning to Sakura. "Hey Sakura… you're the one with the best genjutsu knowledge here. Have you ever heard of a genjutsu like the one he described? One that does several days of torture in a moment?"

Sakura paused for a moment, going through a mental list of illusions that she had read and ones that Kurenai had taught or told her about. "No, I haven't." She admitted sullenly. "… but, to be honest… from what I've learned so far about genjutsu, something that potent would easily be a S-class technique. I'm surprised that something like that even exists, to be honest…" She mumbled.

"That's another point of interest…" Naruto mused to himself.

Sasuke growled. "What, that I was practically brain fucked for three days straight when I was 7 by my homicidal older brother?"

Naruto whacked Sasuke upside the head. "Think about it, genius. Your prodigy brother, _a kage-level ninja,_ known the continent over for his speed and _efficiency_ , used an **extremely** high level and **ridiculously** potent genjutsu on a _7 year old_. That's more efficient than killing _ **squirrels**_ by throwing _ **castles**_ at them _, but not by much_."

"He did this completely dumb and wholly uncharacteristic action inside a village full of shinobi that would soon be after his blood, AFTER he murdered an entire clan of highly trained ninja using nothing but his basic skills and a fucking sword, WITHOUT being discovered. Does that _not_ sound a bit odd to you?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto, unwilling to recognize that Naruto had a decent point. He had lived the past five years of his life on rage and determination, and that was not likely to change anytime soon. The point was, however, something worth carefully noting, and it did distract the young Uchiha from killing Naruto. Sasuke also remembered that it was Naruto who more often than not detected something hidden where others didn't, like during the genin exam for instance. He didn't _always_ detect hidden things, but so far he was 100% dead on when he actually felt that something was off.

Naruto shrugged and sighed. "Well, conspiracy or not, it's not our problem at the moment. First, we deal with Zabuza and his magical butter knife of death. THEN we can worry about rogue homicidal family members. If we think too much about this crap now, we won't get anything done later. Anybody disagree with that?"

Sakura and Sasuke stared at Naruto for a few moments to register what the most unpredictable member of their team had just said before they nodded without even realizing it, but they all knew that Sasuke was not going to get any sleep that night. "I… I guess it's your turn then, Naruto." Sakura said in a daze, snapping Sasuke out of his. Finally, he would find out more about the blonde enigma on his team.

Naruto shrugged half-heartedly as he grabbed a nearby water bottle. "Sure, I guess I can start off by telling you that I have the Kyūbi sealed inside me." And just like that he started to drink out of the bottle while observing his teammates and planning his next steps.

"…Huh?" Sakura blanched incredulously.

"Dobe, I thought you said that we were to keep jokes at a minimum." Sasuke growled. "Be serious."

Naruto swallowed some water and sighed, reaching for his shirt and lifting it up and focusing his chakra so the seal would show. "I'm not screwing with your heads, guys, I really do have the fucking nine tailed fox sealed in me." He observed his teammates' eyes widened as they saw the seal on his lean stomach. "It's impossible to kill a Tailed Beast. Well, there is one way, but you have to do it in a very indirect manner. To make things short for you, the only real way to beat a bijū up front is to seal it inside a container. For the lower numbered ones like the one tailed tanuki or the three tailed turtle, you can seal it inside an inanimate object, like a kettle or something with a lot of seals on it. For something like the Kyūbi, which I might add has never been sealed before me, the only option would be a newborn child, because apparently a newborn human's chakra system is the only thing able to adapt to the huge influx of chakra without blowing up or collapsing into itself. And lo and behold, on the day the Kyūbi attacked the village, I was the only fucker born. Not only that, but the technique used to seal the fur ball in me requires the user to sacrifice his or her own life, so I indirectly killed my hero, and end up being cursed by him not even after 24 hours of being born. Is that a kick in the nuts or what?" Naruto muttered darkly to himself as Sasuke and Sakura stared at him with wide eyes and mouths. Naruto decided to continue.

"Oh, and for future reference, this stuff is S-ranked village secrets, so if you blab this stuff to anyone, don't be surprised if ANBU show up to kill you. The only reason I can talk about this is because… well, it's about me, and there's a loophole that lets me talk about it to anyone I want. So, moving on … to my knowledge, both my parents died or disappeared that night. The Fourth apparently wanted the entire village to see me as a hero, but unfortunately for me, people have a tendency to be fucking idiots. As soon as gramps told the council what I was, they were calling for my head on a pike, claiming that I was the fucking fur ball."

"I spent the first seven years of my life in an orphanage where the caretakers and other children would steal my things, beat me heavily, starve me, blah blah blah, then they kicked me out…" Naruto was simply checking things off on his fingers now, shocking his teammates as to how … blasé he was about his past. "Lived on the streets for a few years, got beaten some more; things started to look up for me when the old man found me and gave me an apartment, but that simply told everyone where to find me; my stuff was frequently stolen; I had to live off of ramen most of the time, which is why I love the stuff so much … that, and Teuchi makes a mean beef ramen … they finally started to let up when I was almost 11 after gramps got some ANBU and took out that one mob with half a dozen fire techniques - they thought I was unconscious for that bit … um, my teaching was also impaired by most of the sensei at the academy, which is why I was the dead last for the entire time I there; aaaannnnd, oh yeah, the stores would refuse to service me a lot of the time, or they would overcharge me heavily. I… think that's it." Naruto said casually. While he personally was mortified that he was talking about his past in such a casual way, he had to admit that Ghost's advice did do wonders for how he was feeling and how Sasuke and Sakura would take it… hopefully.

It took several minutes for the two to shut their mouths, and another few to get their heads back on, make sense of what Naruto had said, and think of a few questions.

"You… have the nine tailed demon fox… sealed in you?" Sakura asked incredulously.

Naruto sighed. "Yes, and believe me when I say that I would give up ramen to have this fucker out of me for good as long as it did not kill me, hurt anyone I cared about, or cause mass panic."

Sasuke frowned. "So… your new look and your healing ability. Those aren't due to some bloodline, are they?"

Naruto sighed. "No, they aren't. It's just the result of Ero-nii fixing the seal so that the fox's chakra doesn't hurt me anymore."

"Anymore?" Sakura asked.

Naruto looked down. "Apparently even the Fourth and the Shinigami combined can still make mistakes. The filter part of the seal that leaks small bits of the Kyūbi's chakra into mine was screwed up. Instead of having my healing and enhanced sense of smell and sight from the beginning, I had bigger chakra reserves, but I was constantly being poisoned from the inside out, so I ended up being dumber than normal. Hell, I could have died if the thing failed a month earlier. Mix that with my huge reserves and you can see why I could never get the standard clone down."

Sasuke personally was stunned after taking everything that Naruto had told him, but he still had a few questions to ask. "So… you knew about it the entire time and didn't tell anyone?"

Naruto chuckled darkly. "Me? Know about fuzzbutt? Teme, I had no idea why the hell everyone in Konoha hated me so much until Ero-nii came out of nowhere and fixed my seal. Hell, I probably would have ended up as emo as you if he didn't literally slap me several times across the face and bring me back to reality. That reminds me, I still have to get back at him for that and all those other things he did to me… I should talk to Anko and Hana when we get back home; they know how to REALLY screw with his head and…"

As Naruto plotted his rated X revenge against Ghost, Sasuke and Sakura merely sat there, thinking about what Naruto had just told them and trying to remember what Naruto was like when he was younger. They recalled on more than one occasion that one of their instructors would throw him out of the class for something he had no part in, and he would often skip days when said teachers would be in charge of their education. They remembered him walking in covered in scratches and in ratty clothing, and more than once coming to class with no money or food for lunch. The more they remembered, the more they were plagued with guilt.

Sasuke was a bit jealous of Naruto for having the extra power and healing, yes, but it was heavily outweighed by hearing what the blonde's life was like. He would never admit it, but the emo was, on a _very_ deep level, glad that he'd had people that cared about his wellbeing after his family was slaughtered in front of him, even though it did get a bit overwhelming after a while.

Naruto didn't really have anyone.

No family, no friends, and the closest people to him were a ramen shop owner and his daughter - who were to his knowledge just civilians - , the Hokage - who was more often than not too busy to help him - , and only recently, Iruka.

Four people, in a village full of ninja who attacked him or made his life miserable.

Sasuke hated to admit it to himself, but the dobe had an even worse hand at life than he did.

"How?" Sasuke asked, snapping Naruto out of his revenge driven daydream. "How could you stand it? How could you live every day with that stupid smile on your face? How could you not want revenge for what they did to you?"

Naruto sighed as he looked out the nearby window. "Teme, you might not have known this, but that stupid smile I had on most of the time back then was simply a mask to hide how much I was hurting. I found out early on that crying and begging when I was hurt or beaten only made them double their efforts. The only people who can tell when I'm faking it now are Iruka-sensei, gramps, and the Ichiraku. I remember hearing gramps mutter once when he thought I was asleep that no one my age should have to hide my emotions like I do. To be honest, I have no fucking clue why I'm even remotely as functional as I am today, and I personally don't want to know. All I care about these days is getting on with my life, trying not to get killed, becoming Hokage, and pulling a few pranks along the way for good measure… and ramen." He sighed again. "Although the living part is going to be easier said than done with Akatsuki after my ass."

"Akatsuki?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"Yeah." Naruto breathed out tiredly. "Apparently, there's this group of S-class missing-nin from all over the place that are trying to collect all the tailed beasts to do god knows what. It sucks for me, because the only ways to take a bijū out of its container always result in the death of the container, so if they catch me, I'm fucked and they get the power of the Kyūbi. Lucky for me, they only move in groups of two and aren't going to do anything big for a few more years."

Sakura was petrified in fear, but Sasuke was silent for another reason. He had caught the look that Naruto had given him when he mentioned that Akatsuki was comprised of S-ranked missing-nin. It didn't take the Uchiha long to put two and two together. "I assume that Ghost-sensei told you all this?" Sasuke asked carefully.

Naruto smirked. "Pretty much, although I still think there's a lot he's hiding from me."

"U-umm." Sakura stuttered. "A-Are you sure that… it can't get out?"

Naruto sighed, knowing that that was going to be a major question. "No Sakura, Kyūbi can't get out. Under any other circumstances other than him getting taken out of me, if I die, he dies. I CAN pull out more of his chakra if I needed to, but it would end up shortening my lifespan, so that's pretty much a last resort. Plus Ero-nii and Scabbard-sensei added a few … layers to my seal just in case someone tries to do something stupid to it. Fuzz butt wasn't too happy about that… heheheh, I remember this one time, Ero-nii and Scabbard-sensei tweaked the seal so that his cage was full of these rabbits that they called Monty Python bunnies…"

"You TALKED to it?" Sasuke asked incredulously with wide eyes.

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah. You'd be surprised how advanced his vocabulary is considering he's a walking natural disaster."

"I… is he talking to you right now?" Sakura asked fearfully.

Naruto shrugged. "If he is, I can't hear him. I can only talk to him if I go into my subconscious, which is a pain in the ass to do if I do say so myself." He looked at a nearby clock and saw that it was close to midnight. "I think we should go to sleep soon. We gotta train our asses off if we want to do as well against Zabuza the next time he shows up. I doubt he'll underestimate us again."

"Speak for yourself, not us dobe." Sasuke sighed. "We both know that you're a lot stronger then you've shown us."

Naruto frowned. "Do you want to master THAT technique by the end of the week or not, because I'm perfectly fine practicing on one of my other techniques while you're stuck water walking, ducky."

"Wait…" Sakura stalled as she started to walk slowly towards the door. "THAT jutsu?! Are you two nuts? You both almost got deep fried last time you tried it!"

Sasuke sighed as he climbed into his own bed. "Yeah, that's what I said. But dobe here thinks that after I master water walking, my control should be high enough that it won't melt our faces again." He took in a deep breath. "I don't know about you Sakura, but I'm at the end of my mental limit right now. Dobe's right; unfortunately, we won't get anywhere worrying about our own personal crap while there's a jōnin out there recovering so that he can kill us with that giant ass sword of his. Best thing we can do right now is get some rest, train, protect Tazuna, and hope whatever else the dobe is hiding from us is enough to save our lives if something goes wrong."

"Awww, you do have faith in my abilities." Naruto swooned mockingly with big blue sparkly eyes, only to get slapped in the face by a pillow thrown by Sasuke. "I'm keeping this." He chided like a 5 year old. "This is now MYYY pillow. Not yours. Mine."

Sakura sighed as she walked out of the room. Despite the massive headache she had, she was starting to relax again. She saw that Naruto was still the same Naruto as before, and the same was with Sasuke. The only thing that had changed was how much they knew of each other. Personally, she was disgusted with how the village treated Naruto for his entire life, and wanted to make it up to him. But first she had to deal with a drunken old man and a psycho with a giant sword. Goodie.

As soon as Sakura left the room, the mood darkened a bit. "So, he's in Akatsuki?" Sasuke asked in a whisper.

"That's what Ero-nii and Scab-sensei are telling me." Naruto answered back just as quietly. "Go to bed, we'll talk about this back in Konoha. Otherwise, you'll be too distracted to train properly."

Silence. "… Can I have my pillow back?"

"My pillow!"

o. o. o.

"Can you please tell us why you have called for a meeting so late at night, Hiashi?" Growled one of the Hyūga elders situated in the main conference room, "Some of us are not as accustomed to late nights as you are."

Hiashi bowed slightly in a Hyūga-ish manner as a way of apologizing. "My most sincere apologies. However, I believe that I have come across something that would be of great significance to the clan." Hiashi prayed that this meeting would not end up as poorly as he was expecting it to. Regardless, he needed to make sure that his hold on the clan was intact after the change was implemented, and this was the only way to ensure it.

"Hoh?" Mused another elder. "What have you come across, Hiashi?"

Hiashi took a deep breath and took the plunge. "I believe I may have come across a superior alternative to the Caged Bird Seal." And then the room exploded.

"Preposterous!" "Impossible!" "Ludicrous!" Shouted various elders in disbelief.

"SILENCE!" Roared one of the few female members of the council. Hiashi's mother, to be precise. "Let my son finish speaking." She turned to her son and nodded.

"Thank you, elder." Hiashi bowed deeply to his mother. "As I was saying, I may have come across an alternative to the Caged Bird Seal that has long since separated our two houses. As you all well know, the main purpose of the seal is not to put the Branch house under our beck and call, but to protect our bloodline and allow more of our clan to participate as shinobi without risking many of our secrets." Several elders nodded. "What you may not know is that the Ōgakari clan is in possession of a seal master that apparently makes the legendary Sannin Jiraiya look like a novice. This description came from the man who fixed the Kyūbi's seal, the most complicated and elaborate known seal in the village, and possibly even in the Elemental Nations, in a matter of minutes. Curious, I approached Scabbard Ōgakari and asked him if it was possible for someone in his clan to fabricate a seal that would protect our bloodline more efficiently. To my surprise, he not only confirmed that that they could create such a seal, but then elaborated the various security levels the seal would have. The degree of protection such a seal would provide our clan was so great that I immediately requested that he start fabricating a prototype, and…"

"Preposterous!" Shouted an elder who was a heavy supporter of the Caged Bird Seal. "Why should we change our customs when they work just fine the way they are now?!"

Hiashi frowned. "Because, **elder** , despite what you have seen so far, things are changing. New methods to analyze and steal our bloodline are continuously being produced, and I fear that the Caged Bird Seal will not be enough to hide our secrets in the future. Even more pressing is that I have found that our standing in the public eye has been diminishing for some time due to the treatment of our Branch house members… and some members of the Main house as well." He hinted, eyeing some of the elders. "It makes me fear that our position in the village may be weakening. I believe that this new seal can possibly restore our honor and strengthen our clan as a whole. Remember that the only reason why we have not changed the seal in the past was due to the fact that not only did we lack knowledge of how to remove the seal, but we also did not have an efficient alternative to the Caged Bird Seal. Both of these issues can apparently be solved with the aid of the Ōgakari clan." Hiashi finished his speech and analyzed the reactions of the elders. To his surprise, he could tell that a good deal of them were seriously considering his proposal, despite their apparent position on the matter and their training in preventing others from reading their emotions.

"You said…" started one elder, "That there are more methods to steal the secrets of our bloodline emerging in the world. Tell us how these processes can get past the Caged Bird Seal, if you would."

Hiashi smirked on the inside, glad that he himself had asked Scabbard those very same questions. "Gladly. According to reports in various medical fields, there have been significant advancements recently in body transplants, blood study, and most importantly, comatose patient health." He let his words sink in. "The Caged Bird Seal is indeed effective at protecting our bloodline, but it only activates when the bearer has died. Would one of our clan members be captured alive instead…" He let his words hang in the air for a few seconds. "Not only would our seal be almost useless, but the enemy would also gain a sample of the seal itself, and potentially learn to use it against us…"

Little by little, Hiashi could tell that he was gaining more support for the change. He was nowhere near close to gaining full support, but he was at least in a position where he would not get shot down on the spot.

"Wait just a moment!" Shouted another elder, one that Hiashi had despised from the beginning. "You said that the Ōgakari clan can REMOVE the Caged Bird Seal as well as create a new seal for the clan! How can they do such a thing?! More importantly, why should they?! Why not ask the Ōgakari clan to make two seals for us? One for the Main house, and one to work in tandem with the Caged Bird Seal?" Several mumblings echoed through the room as Hiashi noted that he was losing support for his proposition.

"I have asked Scabbard about this as well when I talked to him." Hiashi half-lied. "He responded that while it is possible to do so, the complications in constructing a seal to work in conjunction with the Caged Bird Seal while providing the same level of security as the new seal itself would be impossible to do, and claims that it would in fact make it easier for a seal master to figure out the workings of both seals should the bearer be captured. Not only that, but it is common knowledge that placing several seals that are designed to integrate with the user's physiology can easily result in paralyzation, if not worse. It would be extremely foolhardy to chance more than half our clan's population just to ensure that we maintain our position over them. As for how they are able to remove the Caged Bird Seal, I can only presume it is because they are all experienced seal masters and know various techniques to disrupt and remove almost any brand of seal." Hiashi let out a slow breath of relief as he saw more elders coming back to his side of the argument. That was a close one.

"Why can't we just ask them to create two different seals then?" Asked another elder to his right. "Both doing the exact same thing, but the Branch house's seal also having the same functions as the Caged Bird Seal?"

Hiashi frowned. "The very notion of such a proposition is out of the question. Not only would it cause our clan to be more in debt to the Ōgakari clan, but to the rest of the village and other nations, it would look like we are desperate to maintain our power over the Branch house. Such a foolhardy course would cause us to lose face and respect on a continental scale, and such consequences would be fully justified. We have a reputation to maintain. Such petty notions **are** below us."

"Th-This…!" Stumbled yet another elder, grasping at straws at this point to shoot down Hiashi. "Impossible! There is no way a mere mercenary can possibly create a more efficient seal than the Caged Bird Seal! They must be lying to you in order to control the clan for themselves and take over Konoha!"

Hiashi chuckled, "Yes, which is why they haven't already done so after fixing the Kyūbi's seal. After all, what is the power of the nine tailed demon fox compared to the might of the Hyūga clan?"

"Watch your tongue, Hiashi!" Shouted several decrepit old men before they were silenced yet again by his mother.

"Enough!" She looked at Hiashi with a careful gaze. "Hiashi, am I to understand that no requests have been made by the Ōgakari clan regarding this particular order?"

Hiashi matched the gaze with his own. "Scabbard-san, who is in charge of the fabrication of the seal as well as a majority of the clan's projects, has yet to specify what the payment will be for the seal. To my knowledge, he plans to arrive in several months with what I am told will be a near-finished product so that our clan may see if it meets our expectations. We will discuss the matter of payment if we both decide to proceed with the application of the seal."

"Are we to assume that they will destroy any evidence of the creation of the seal should we ask them to, in order to protect our clan?" She asked.

Hiashi nodded. "They pride themselves at being professionals. As long as we keep our end of the exchange, they will do so on their end. I need not remind you all of the contracts they have with the other clans of the village, nor should I have to mention Ghost's hold on the fastest assassination time record… so their skill and methodology has some backing."

More grumblings echoed throughout the room as Hiashi stared at his mother intensely. He loved and respected his mother intensely, but he also feared her wrath on an equal level. As did the rest of the council, which is why she was able to silence them so easily. "If this is so important, Hiashi, then why did you wait to inform us of such a seal? I am told that Scabbard Ōgakari left the village several months ago. Why did you wait?"

Hiashi mentally cursed himself for the blunder as he noticed the other elders waiting for his response. He couldn't tell them the truth, and lying to the council of Hyūga was simply stupid, so his only chance to get out of this situation was to tell some half-truths. "… I waited for several reasons…" Hiashi stalled, gathering his thoughts together. "First of all, I had to wait for a time where we could discuss this without being distracted by other issues." He got some quirked eyebrows. "As you are all aware, the Ōgakari clan has only recently established itself here in Konoha, around the same time that the village council is busy with the villages' tax management forms and also around the time of the genin exams and the last Chūnin Exam, which was at the time in Kusagakure. Due to their obscure requests and the stress of everything occurring at the time, I decided to wait until the incoming load of paperwork was reduced before I announced anything." He received several nods of agreement from several of the elders.

"Another reason why I waited was because I wanted the Ōgakari clan to be more well-known in general before saying anything. I was aware of their involvement in fixing the Kyūbi's seal long before word got out due to my position in the village council, and thus took the initiative in asking for their aid before the other clans. I wanted to have a good understanding of what the process would entail before I announced anything, and simply waited for their reputation to gain enough steam that the proposal would not seem completely ludicrous when it finally came to light."

Several nods were seen in the room. "How many people know of this transaction?" Hiashi's mother asked.

Hiashi sighed. "To my knowledge, the only people who are aware of this deal are Ghost, Scabbard, the Ōgakari clan member who is creating our seal, and the people in this room."

Hiashi's mother stared at her son sternly. "Have you given them any restricted information about the clan or the seal?"

Hiashi bowed his head, knowing that he would not be able to weave his way out of this one. "Yes." Getting many furrowed brows. "In order to fabricate a more efficient seal, they requested for several blood samples from clan members, both Main house and Branch. In addition to this, they requested the designs and process of making a Caged Bird Seal."

He raised his hand. "Before you protest, however, let me inform you that I did not give them the sequence of seals required to set off the seal, nor did they have any issue with that restriction. They have also promised me on their family honor and with blood in the presence of the Hokage that they would destroy all the materials and copies of anything regarding the Caged Bird Seal, and also assured me that the information gained in this job will not be used under any circumstances other than transactions between our respective clans."

"Should we feel as if they are taking advantage of us, we are entitled to go to the Hokage and present our case. If he decides that they are indeed abusing information, then it is up to us in what their punishment would be, whether it is corporal, monetary, or banishment. All of this, I might add, was their idea." On the inside, Hiashi was secretly bowing down to Scabbard in thanks for his forethought and his answer to their dilemma.

The elders looked at Hiashi in surprise. Yes, they were angered that Hiashi had given away clan secrets to another new clan, however the level of security that they were providing the Hyūga to assure that their clan secrets were kept safe was to put it lightly insane. Many of them were already thinking of the implications of such a rule and how to abuse it... which was (un)surprisingly more difficult than originally anticipated.

Hiashi's mother opened her eyes after processing this information. Hiashi was not dumb enough to lie to the council, but he was hiding something. "Why does Ghost Ōgakari know of the transaction?"

Hiashi mentally slapped himself. "… Ghost…" Hiashi started slowly, frantically trying to come up with an excuse. "… is the reason why I am confident the Ōgakari clan will keep their word." Hiashi took a deep breath. "As some of you remember, Ghost arrived at the clan compound with my daughter Hinata shortly after he first arrived in Konoha, wishing for a private conversation. We are all aware that he is the one responsible for the odd condition of the air in Konoha right now, but what you are not aware of was that he was also responsible for the execution of the two elders shortly afterwards. Within several minutes, he had revealed and disabled three spying seals that were hidden in my private meeting room, claiming that the listeners of the seals would suffer from severe ear drum ruptures before proceeding with our conversation without a care in the world. Not ten minutes after he left, I found two of our _esteemed_ elders in the clan's hospital with heavily bleeding ears."

"When I talked to him later about payment, he simply waved his hands and claimed that it was no problem and said and I quote: we're both on the same side. Why can't we simply do things for each other without worrying about payment?" Hiashi chuckled to himself as he let his story hang in the air for a moment. "Despite his impressive skill, he is quite humble. I personally doubt he will do anything to betray our trust…" He paused, "… unless we betray their trust first, of course. But we are above that, so there should be no issues. To be frank, he is the one who indirectly convinced me that the clan could be trusted."

Hiashi mused as the elder council contemplated his proposal. He was honestly surprised that he had such a solid backing, but he also knew that other members would take a bit of convincing. He needed at least three-fourths of the possible votes, including his own, in order to make this change work without having to resort to Plan B. Looking around though, he frowned. There were a couple of members he would have to keep an eye on. Despite having white eyes, several elders of the clan had souls as black as night.

o. o. o.

"So Haku… what do you think?" Zabuza asked as he lay in his bed, looking at his trusted assistant.

Haku bit her lip, knowing that this was not going to be easy. "It may be a bit early to give a final say… but I believe them Zabuza-sama…" Looking into the eyes of her master, the girl continued. "I met up with the blonde genin, Naruto. We talked, and I felt a connection. Nothing he said contradicted with what we already know or what we apparently remembered. His eyes… they were different, but they didn't tell any lies…"

Zabuza frowned. Being a ninja, he was naturally suspicious of everything around him. Being a missing-nin, he was naturally suspicious that everything around him was trying to kill him. He had read the contents of the scroll, and there was no possible way that it was all made up. The dates, the people, it all matched up. The fact that he was even given the information in the first place was a major hurdle to explain since no one was supposed to know he was fucking there in the first place, otherwise he would have had hunter-nin on his ass already. Still, there were some things that were not accounted for though. "Did you ask him about that weird chakra of his?" Zabuza asked inquisitively.

Haku shivered again at the memory and slowly nodded. "Yes. He said that you are correct in your assumptions, but he wishes for you to keep quiet about it for now. He also claims that he doesn't need to use its powers in order to beat you…" Zabuza snorted. "He also claimed that it has been over three years since we died… and claims things went horribly wrong afterwards." **That** had Zabuza's attention. He had expected many things, but he didn't think that they would actually talk about future events. "What… is he Zabuza-sama?" Haku asked curiously.

Zabuza took in a deep breath before sighing. "… He's like Yagura…" Haku's eyes widened in shock. "Only he can be much, MUCH more dangerous." He admitted. "I don't want to admit it, but the tree humpers were telling the truth, Haku." Zabuza groaned. "There's too much in their favor. He answered your questions perfectly, they gave us information. Hell, they knew we were going to be here, what your name was, and how you were going to save my ass, before they even gave us back our memories, and SOMEHOW they knew of my connection with Yagura. No one knows about that. The only real question is: why the hell did Gatō's bratty partners die this time around?"

"Um, I asked Naruto-kun that question myself…" Haku answered. "He claims the person responsible for our current situation is the same one that killed Gatō's partners. He called him… Ero-nii…"

Zabuza snorted. "You have to be shitting me. The guy that is screwing around with all our heads is the same bastard that's been killing those guys as if murder was an art… and he's fucking called Ero-nii?"

Haku nodded with a small blush. "Yes, Zabuza-sama. According to Naruto-kun, he is a member of the Ōgakari clan; to be more specific, he is the rumored assassin that we have been hearing about recently. I believe that Naruto-kun said that his name was Ghost."

Zabuza groaned as he tried to match the timelines and the differences. "Ugh, my head. I swear, thinking like this is going to be the end of me, Haku. So that matches up with this timeline and the other one… I think." Zabuza paused as he gathered his thoughts.

For the most part, his goal of being Mizukage was up in flames. To be perfectly honest, the only reason why he wanted the damn hat in the first place was because Yagura was going ape shit on everyone, and someone needed to step in quickly. Guess he wasn't quick enough.

That just left the good old-fashioned revenge scheme. He COULD try to do it with only Haku, but if what the letter said was true… and at this point he had to begrudgingly admit that it most likely was, then there was no chance in hell he would be able to pull it off, Demon of the Mist or not. On the other hand, if they joined Konoha, they could kill several huge birds with a village-sized stone. "Hey Haku, did the blonde idiot tell you who else was in on this besides us and Kakashi?"

Haku nodded. "Apparently, both Tsunade and Jiraiya of the Sannin are involved, as well as the current Hokage. He also claimed that there were others, but he didn't name them.

Zabuza whistled. "Two Sannin and the old monkey himself? Damn."

Haku blushed. "Apparently Naruto-kun was Jiraiya's apprentice after we… died. He showed me this technique where he created a ball of pure spinning chakra in each hand. He said it was called Rasengan." Zabuza's eyes widened considerably. "Then he said that he managed to complete the technique…"

"HE WHAT!?" Zabuza roared, scaring Haku.

"Zabuza-sama? What's the matter?" Haku asked hesitantly.

"Haku, the rasengan is an A-class ninjutsu, one of the two signature techniques created by the fucking Fourth Hokage, the other being Hiraishin." Zabuza stressed despite his current condition. "That technique was nothing but pure fucking chakra manipulation, and it could punch a hole through just about anything. Word in the alley was that the technique was only half-complete, though."

Haku's eyes widened. "A technique that powerful, yet it was only half finished? How?"

Zabuza frowned. "Word is that the Fourth was trying to mix in elemental manipulation, but he couldn't finish it before he died. The technique is supposedly known by quite a few ninja in Konoha if my sources are correct, but none of them could do it either, and I have no doubt that there are some high level fuckers that know the technique. I heard that it takes so much concentration to form the original technique that it's impossible to focus on adding an element to it without having the entire thing blow up in your face." Zabuza glared at Haku. "If that brat's telling you the truth, then he has in his arsenal one of the most powerful and destructive techniques ever made." He closed his eyes. "If his side lost with something like that up their sleeve, WITH the Kyūbi sealed in him… I can see why they're risking their asses to recruit our help instead of taking the easy way out and simply killing us up front. I mean, I know that Kisame is a monster incarnate… but to still lose with those three behind him…"

"Zabuza-sama…" Haku said to herself quietly before her ninja senses kicked in and told her that someone was approaching the building. "Someone's coming…" She said seriously.

Zabuza sighed. "Probably just Gatō coming to rant about our failure. And I was hoping he would wait a little bit longer, too. I still haven't finished reading the latest Icha-Icha yet. I'm surprised how much better this one is than the others…" He giggled perversely as his mind wandered to his own personal playground.

Haku developed a tick mark as she controlled her temper. "I thought you agreed that you would at least refrain from talking about that smut in front of me, Zabuza-SAMA…" Haku took out some senbon needles… scaring the shit out of her master…

o. o. o.

"Quack, quack, motherfucker!" Naruto shouted as he and his clones bombarded Sasuke and Sakura with several dozen wind enhanced kunai as they attempted to dodge on the lake's surface.

"Damn it, Naruto!" Sakura shrieked as she barely kept her balance after narrowly getting away from the last salvo.

"I swear I will kill you after this, dobe!" Sasuke swore, covered in cuts while sinking down to his ankles.

Naruto cackled gleefully as he and his clones danced upon the water. "You'll have to catch me first!"

Kakashi deadpanned as he watched the show from the docks. "This isn't what I meant when I said you could help them train…" The cyclops watched as Sasuke and Sakura continued to dodge Naruto's attacks, and unknowingly become more proficient with the chakra control exercise. It was only a little after lunch time and the two almost had the trick mastered to the point where they could throw in leaf balancing into the equation.

Of course, the rigorous training schedule that they had implemented back in Konoha was partially responsible for this development as well. Before the team had left, Sasuke and Sakura were already proficient in chakra control, being able to tree climb with at least a dozen leaves stuck to their bodies at once. Sakura had even managed to perform several genjutsu in succession while standing sideways on a tree without any issues whatsoever.

Observing his charges, Kakashi surmised that it would only take at most one or two more days for the two to master water walking completely with a leaf stuck to their forehead. The two were geniuses for a reason, after all. In the meantime, Naruto had several hundred clones hidden in the woods practicing their own chakra control, his Seventh Sense, and several of his new jutsu as well just in case. Although, what he was really worried about was when Naruto came to him the previous night and told him that after Sasuke mastered water walking the two were going to practice THAT jutsu. Kakashi mentally shivered as he remembered the size of the crater the two had created the last time they tried to do it.

The blonde _really_ needs to spend more time away from Ghost.

Swish. "What the hell, dobe?! If you're going to aim at me, can you at least not aim THERE?!" Sasuke roared, snapping Kakashi out of his mental daze.

"NARUTO!" Sakura shrieked, witnessing the almost-end to one of Sasuke's (and her) dreams. "I'm going to kill you!"

"You think we may have over done it?" Whispered one of the clones as they watched their teammates charging straight towards them with a look of murder on their faces and completely ignoring the fact that they were water walking perfectly at this point.

Naruto started to sweat drop heavily as he saw the shadows of demons emerge from behind his teammates. "More than likely, my fellow dead comrade. More than likely."

"You'd think he'd have gotten his Sharingan by now with all the crap we've been putting him through." Sighed another clone.

"I guess we'll just have to leave it to Haku." Mused another

"Gentlemen…" Announced a third clone in a stiff and uptight manner as the group prepared for Sasuke's and Sakura's onslaught. "It has been an honor working with you in this glorious task of aiding our comrades' training. I wish you grand harvests and virgins aplenty in the next life."

"Here, here," Chanted the rest of the group.

Kakashi watched as Sasuke and Sakura brutally murdered Naruto's clones as screams of pain, mercy, begging, and agony echoed around him. He shrugged after five seconds and continued to read his book.

It would probably only take them only one more day to complete their training.

o. o. o.

Ghost breathed heavily as he tore through another one of his own personal fighting sequences at an inhuman pace, spinning on one arm one moment, on one of his altered legs the next, swapping his blades between his four appendages several times a second and slashing every known space within his arm's reach every instant. It was a style that no normal weapon or taijutsu master would even think of attempting to approach or challenge, as the angles of the slashes and the position of the user's body were near impossible to predict or counter. He never damaged any of the local wildlife or fauna, but he did move frequently from tree to ground to branch to another branch and so on.

It was his ninth hour of practicing his personal style while pushing his heavily limited body to extreme levels. Despite the extreme exhaustion that he was experiencing, only one thought possessed his mind… and it was one that scared him to no end.

He was having the nightmares again.

o. o. o.

Story definitions:

Presence: Similar to Killing Intent, Presence is simply an advanced form of control with many applications. By combining K.I., chakra control, and a bit of chakra/energy/stamina, Presence is formed. Presence can be used to control elements outside the user's body, or can be used to slightly augment the user's body if properly handled. The stronger the Presence, the better control the user has over his or her powers and abilities. Presence is unique to each user like life-energy, so it is very easy to identify the user and sometimes their powers by experiencing their Presence, and unlike energy, Presence can be felt by anyone at any time. Presence is also somewhat taxing, and can exhaust the user if exploited for too long (think Super Saiyan), however it can be managed in various increments in order to preserve stamina while still receiving some sort of benefit.

The highest known Presence was rumored to belong to the one responsible for the Red Flood Incident, where an unknown man controlled the waters of the ocean to completely flood a highly populated oceanside city in less than ten seconds before freezing the entire town solid moments later and shattering the entire formation with a single punch, which was confirmed to have been heard several times around the world as the shockwave circled the planet 12 times before it dropped below hearing level. The largest shard found was roughly 1200 miles away and was roughly 8 inches long and 3 inches wide, and contained a woman's disembodied ring finger, complete with ring. It should be noted that the man's Presence was felt not only throughout his world, but on several other planes as well. Several Gods, when asked who could be responsible for such a travesty, refrained from answering the question, only saying cryptically that humans were not meant to be immortal.

o. o. o.

Yay chapter 22!

So. I was initially a bit worried that people had forgotten about my story last week with the significant reduction in hits… then I saw the date and remembered it was Halloween weekend, and kicked myself.

Just to remind everyone about what Hiashi did: He informed his clan that Crypt is making a seal, but there has been no deal yet between him and Scabbard, so he technically isn't breaking any rules between him and Ghost, besides they agreed to give the elders a chance before going with strong-arming the clan.

The next chapter should be the end of the Zabuza saga. Expect action, chaos, fire, and a giant tiki head, plus much more!

Thank you very much! Please review! Watch Needless damnit!


	23. Giant tiki head of pain… thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 23: Giant tiki head of pain… thing

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Splash. "No." Ghost sighed.

Splash. Splash. "Not that way either." He groaned. The lack of sleep lately was really starting to get to him and his temper was not as long as it would normally be.

Splash, splash, splash, splash, blip… "Oh for fucks sa… wait…" Ghost turned to the clone that had produced the almost nonexistent noise. "You… do it again…" He ordered. The clone nodded before blazing through the twelve hand signs and causing the water underneath and around him to become decorated with hundreds if not thousands of long, thin scratch marks that went in every direction.

Not a single splash was made.

"Oh thank god…" Ghost sighed to himself as many of the clones around him on the small lake mimicked his gesture of relief. "I thought I was never going to be able to get this technique made." He looked up at the clone and nodded his head slightly. The clone returned the gesture and poofed out of existence. Ghost took his clone's spot. "Everyone, make sure you have it down!" He shouted to the rest of the clones before focusing his Seventh Sense and his chakra in a very specific way while performing the same twelve seals. He smirked as the water around him instantly became littered with an unhealthy number of scratch marks, and took note that all of his clones were reproducing the same results. "All right, guys! It seems like we finally have the damn thing done! Dispel yourselves, I'm gonna test it out on a bigger scale!"

Ghost immediately regretted that decision as he completely forgot that he would get all the memories at once and nearly drowned due to his lack of concentration. After a few minutes of cradling his head and swearing profusely, he managed to get back up.

Taking a deep breath, Ghost slowly went through the twelve hand signs, focusing on the entire area above the lake this time. Grinning, Ghost took note of his temporary work as the entire surface of the lake was perfectly marred, with not a ripple to be seen.

If a ninja had been watching it however, the thing that would have their attention the most was the fact that the lake's entire surface was altered at once… that the technique appeared to have no point of origin…

o. o. o.

"…so then just as I was about to open the closet door, Ero-nii falls busts out in nothing but a tee shirt, glasses and boxers, gagged and tied up like in one of those weird S&M magazines. Before I could say anything, he was hopping out of my apartment faster than I thought anyone could hop before while making these weird screaming noises as loud as he could. Two seconds later, Anko and Hana run back into my apartment wearing these thick buttoned-up trench coats while carrying these leather suitcases. We just stared at each other for a few seconds before I pointed in the direction he went in and they disappeared!" Naruto was laughing his ass off as Haku chuckled lightly with a small blush on her face.

"I'm surprised that they didn't come back and force you to keep quiet." Haku mused between breaths.

Naruto smirked. "Oh, they did. But the thing is that we all have so much dirt on each other that it's almost impossible to tell who is controlling who, so we end up eventually talking about the events anyways to people for a good laugh." Naruto paused before thinking of something. "It would probably be best if you were careful who you told, though…" He started to sweat drop heavily.

Haku nodded before putting on a thoughtful expression. "I am curious though… why were they attempting to do those… actions in your apartment?"

Naruto paled as the words registered in his mind. "Haku… for my, and later your, mental safety… never ask a question like that again when regarding our group. Odds are you REALLY don't want to know…"

Haku laughed nervously as she saw how serious and scared Naruto was. "R-right… I'll keep that in mind." She took in a deep breath and sighed. It was the third day they had met, and to be perfectly honest Haku was enjoying every moment of their time together. She was the only female member of Zabuza's group and was always dealing with her master reading Icha-Icha or the Demon Brothers making crude sexist comments about every woman they came across. When they managed to get some time off, it was normally spent training or finding another job. Relaxing like this was… pleasant, but she knew that there were other matters to deal with. "… Naruto-kun, can you tell me what we should be planning to do for the bridge? Gatō's acting the same as last time, so we probably have to move like last time as well."

Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yeah, but there are some things you have to know before we start planning." Haku raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "If you remember, last time I was late. The reason was because I had trained too much the night before and had exhausted my body; however that ended up to be a good thing. Gatō went behind your back and send a couple of his goons to take Tazuna's family hostage. Apparently, he didn't have that much faith in your abilities. Needless to say, things would have been worse for the both of us if I hadn't stayed behind." Haku's eyes widened in shock from hearing new information. "Also," Naruto continued. "During the fight last time, Sasuke awakened his Sharingan…"

Haku nodded. "I remember that. His eyes turned red and had odd markings appearing in each of them. Soon afterwards he could see my attacks with some accuracy. It was then that I had to… use you as bait in order to defeat him…" Haku admitted guiltily.

Naruto saw this and waved his hand. "Don't worry about it. We were enemies at the time and that was technically the best course of action for someone in your position. The game's changed now… sort of." He saw Haku raise an eyebrow and continued, "What I mean is that the first part of the fight on the bridge is going to go similarly to last time. Kakashi-sensei is going to fight Zabuza while you fight the bastard and Sakura guards the drunk. The only difference is that the two masked wonders aren't going to go all out on each other in order to save energy for the three ninja protecting Gatō, while you do pretty much the same thing as last time to teme so he can awaken his Sharingan again. Sorry to have to put you in that position, but for some reason, whatever we tried on the bastard wouldn't work." Naruto sighed before looking at Haku seriously. "Just be careful. He's much stronger and faster than he was last time, so don't be surprised if he nearly gets you before doing that ice… mirror… thing…" Naruto blushed.

Haku giggled. "It's called the Demonic Ice Mirror technique."

Naruto pouted. "It's not my fault I don't know the name! I was late to the fight, remember? Anyways, I think Ero-nii told me that the most likely way to make him awaken the Sharingan is to try to make him SEE something he can't already see now while mixing in the threat of death, so you should try to flaunt your speed in front of him 'til he gets it, then knock him out with your senbon when you see that he finally has his dōjutsu up and running before he realizes it himself so you can save chakra for the later fight. If possible, it would be best if you simply paralyzed him instead of putting him in a near death state so that Sakura can heal him back to fighting condition later just in case. He's a big boy, so you don't have to hold back and refrain from turning him into a porcupine, just make sure that the actual damage to him is minimal."

"I'll hang back like last time to protect the family, then get to the bridge as soon as I can. Once Gatō shows up like we all know he will, Zabuza, Kakashi-sensei and I will fight the other ninja that he hired while you and Sakura protect Tazuna and Sasuke. Hopefully we can take down the bodyguards without too much issue and kill Gatō before he gets away. The bastard seems like to type to gloat and enjoy watching others die if I remember correctly…"

Haku growled. "Don't remind me. I had to walk by his… storage facilities once…" Naruto shivered as the air around him started to drastically lower in temperature and the grass started to freeze. "The only reason why I didn't kill him then was because Zabuza-sama needed the money." She put on a very scary smile. "At least I managed to break his arm again a couple of nights ago…"

Naruto shivered. "H-Haku, you're f-freezing everything again…"

Haku blinked before realizing that she was affecting her surroundings before blushing and reining in her power again. "Sorry, Naruto-kun…" She mumbled.

Naruto shook himself. "Brr. No problem. Happens to the best of us. I just didn't want to dispel and leave you alone…"

Haku raised an eyebrow. "You're a clone?"

The clone chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, sorry. The original's busy practicing with the bastard on this awesome collaboration technique that Ero-nii thought up. We couldn't do it before because his control wasn't good enough and we ended up in the hospital burnt to a crisp the last time we tried it…"

Haku blinked. "I thought you told me that you have stronger healing powers now?"

The clone sweat dropped. "Exactly."

Haku blanched. "Ah." The two sighed in silence before Haku got an idea. "Hey… since you're a clone, do you want to meet Zabuza-sama? It's not as if he can hurt you and we are on the same side after all."

The clone blinked in surprise. He had honestly not thought about that and now that he did, the idea seemed promising. "Erm… sure, but won't mummy face get pissed that you brought me to your hideout?"

Haku paused for a moment in thought. "You have a point. If you can wait long enough, I can go to him and see if it's okay … and can you please stop insulting Zabuza-sama?"

Naruto deadpanned. "Haku, I call the man who is giving us a second chance at life Ero-nii, the legendary Sannin Jiraiya Ero-sennin, the third Hokage old man, and the legendary Sannin Tsunade granny. I'm not going to stop calling people nicknames anytime soon."

Haku sighed, knowing she wasn't going to win this argument. "Fine. Do you think you will last long enough for me to leave, come back and then get to the hideout?"

The clone concentrated for a moment before nodding. "I have enough chakra in me to last another 5 hours as long as I don't do any fighting, so as long as you don't live too far away, I should be good."

Haku nodded as she got up. "That gives me plenty of time. … Are you sure it's okay if I leave you alone here?"

The clone sighed as he rested against a tree and closed his eyes. "Yeah. Surprisingly enough, we shadow clones can actually restore some of our chakra by resting and eating… actually…" Another clone poofed into existence, only to be dispelled a second later. "There, now the original knows what's going to happen, so don't be surprised if a shadow clone of Kakashi shows up when you get back."

Haku nodded as she disappeared into the forest. The clone sighed as he rested against the tree, only to wince moments later. "Ouch. Should have waited a few more minutes before doing that… oh well, it couldn't have been that bad…"

o. o. o.

"DAMN IT DOBE!" Sasuke shouted as he climbed out of the water. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING, STOPPING SO SUDDENLY LIKE THAT! WE ALMOST FREAKING KILLED OURSELVES UP AGAIN!" Sasuke looked around. "… dobe?"

Kakashi sighed. "He's over there." The cyclops pointed near the shoreline where Naruto was floating belly up, clearly knocked into a daze and actually steaming despite the lack of burns on his body.

"Such a pretty light…" He said semiconsciously.

"Shit!" Sasuke swore as he dashed towards his teammate. "Dobe, don't you dare die on me! You're one of the few people I can stand being around!"

As Kakashi watched Sasuke violently shake Naruto's unconscious body with some amusement, another clone of Naruto's that was training in the woods quietly walked up behind him and whispered something in his ear. Kakashi sighed as he made a shadow clone with a fair amount of chakra and turned his attention back to the spectacle in front of him as his clone disappeared into the forest.

o. o. o.

"What should we do about this?" Hissed a Hyūga elder to his compatriots as they gathered around a small table in a room hidden from the rest of the compound. "Hiashi has gained too much favor with the council! If this keeps up, our grip on the Branch house will be reduced to nothing, and then the Branch house members will be able to tell Hiashi about everything!"

"Quiet, fool!" Shouted another. "Don't you think we know that already?" He grunted as he pondered the situation. "This does not look good. Hiashi has already proven that not only is the Caged Bird Seal obsolete, but that the clan would fare better if we were one house. All possible loose ends have been either completely sealed off, or they lead down a road that would almost be impossible to maneuver."

"Couldn't we just blackmail Hiashi… or threaten the safety of his daughters?" Suggested one of the people in the room.

"No." The leader concluded. "He has already shown us time and again what his position on the seal is. If he were to suddenly start saying otherwise now, the other council members would be able to determine that something is amiss, especially considering how he managed this meeting. Besides, like it or not, Hiashi makes a point that the seal that protects our bloodline is becoming more obsolete as time goes on…"

"You sound like you are supporting Hiashi's idea…" Growled one of the older men in the room.

The leader chuckled. "To be perfectly honest… I am indeed supportive of the idea that we are in need of a new seal." His tone changed. "What I do not support is the joining of the two houses. It would undermine the entire clan if we all were on the same footing. The Main house is in charge and the Branch house is underneath us. There cannot be any other way to manage things…"

"Then how are we to deal with this situation?" Hissed the youngest person in the room… who was still pretty damn old. "If we too desire a stronger seal, then shouldn't that put us at even more at a disadvantage?! If what Hiashi told us is true, then even if we found another person who was able to create a seal for us in time, I doubt that ours would be able to compare to the Ōgakari's seal…"

"You are right…" Mumbled the leader, "Which is why we are going to do something about it…"

o. o. o.

"YES!" Gai shouted as he managed to barely dodge one of Asuma's strikes. "Your flames of youth are greater than ever, Asuma-san. I am enjoying my fights with you more than ever!" Gai grinned with his overly shiny teeth sparkling magnificently.

Asuma sighed. He did notice a significant improvement in his skills, but still, fighting Gai was nothing short of troublesome, reference to Shikamaru intended. "I guess I should take that as a compliment." He chuckled as he dashed towards Gai.

Hana sighed as she watched the two men beat the living daylights out of each other. "You miss Ghost too?" Anko asked in a bored tone.

Hana nodded. "Well, it's more like I expected him to be here. I mean, I just finished my elemental training, and so have my triplets. I was hoping he would be here for the moment and…"

"Yeah…" Anko sighed. "I know what you mean. I finally managed to create that new technique I've been working on and the pervert isn't here to test it out on…"

Hana sweat dropped. "That's not exactly what I meant Anko… wait, you finished it?"

Anko smirked sadistically as she lifted up one of her arms and five medium-sized fire red snakes slithered partway out of her sleeves. "They can also do their thing while away from me as well."

Hana whistled to show she was impressed. "Damn. How much damage can it do? I mean I know it was supposed to be pretty powerful during your training but…"

Anko smiled. "It has the power of an upper B-rank ninjutsu with the speed potential and versatility of a bloody replacement." Anko chuckled. "Still, I think you got the better end of the training stick. Those elemental Gatsūga you've been doing with your mutts look insane. They're what, a B-ranked technique?"

Hana laughed lightly. "Yeah, and it seems like he has some idea for combining our elements with the clan's wolf style techniques as well…"

Anko raised her eyebrows. "The wolf techniques? Damn Hana, fuck special jōnin. You get those techniques done and you're set for jōnin for sure. I've seen your mom pull off those moves once before with Kuromaru on a mission, and let me tell you, I have never felt so challenged for my position as the village's most bloodthirsty and destructive woman as I did then... well, maybe other than the time I saw Tsunade nearly kill Jiraiya when I was a kid. A multi elemental wolf technique… damn."

Hana sighed. "While I am excited that I will be the first to do such techniques, I still don't like the fact that we actually NEED them for… you know."

Anko grumbled. "Don't kill the mood, Hana. I'm personally glad that we'll get to see some action in the future. It will keep us on our toes and keep our senses up. Like it or not, Konoha has been getting a bit lax lately, and this is just the thing to get us back into shape…" Hana didn't say anything as she turned her attention back to Asuma and Gai's fight. After letting her mind wander to Ghost again she started to giggle. "What's so funny?" Anko asked curiously.

Hana smirked. "Just thinking about what would happen if a bunch of Hyūga tried to take down Ghost while boasting about how powerful their eyes are…"

Anko paused before she smirked. "Wow… yeah, that would be hilarious… and extremely ironic considering… well, you know…"

Hana looked down, deep in thought. "… yeah…" She mused, catching Anko's attention. "… what do you think Scabbard meant when he told us not to take advantage of Ghost…?"

Anko's expression softened. "… I thought about that too." She mumbled. "The best idea I can come up with is that we weren't the first women to be with Ghost… no, scratch that, I'm certain that we weren't the first to fall for Ghost. There's no way that perverted bastard lasted over 2000 years without getting hitched at least a few times…"

"Then why…?"

Anko looked down. "My best guess is that something went wrong the last time. The look in Scabbard's eyes screamed of misery and guilt. I've seen it plenty of times when I worked on my victims in the interrogation department." Anko looked back at Hana. "I don't know what happened, but I think Ghost is still recovering from whatever the hell happened between him and his last… significant other…"

"Way to put it lightly Anko." Deadpanned Hana.

Anko shook her head. "You don't get it. After all the time we spent with Ghost, you'd realize that if they simply split up or if she died in some kind of giant battle, Scabbard would not nearly be as serious as he was. You've seen how they treat each other. They basically kick each other in the ass and tell one another to man up for every little thing, if not for no reason at all. To make someone like Scabbard actually concerned like that…" Anko shivered as she tried to ignore the memory of Scabbard pinning them both to the wall with the metal spikes and huge bolts of electricity crackling - not chirping or snapping, fucking _crackling_ \- around the two, staring at them with those calculating and piercing eyes… "No… something else happened, something that Scabbard, and more than likely Ghost feel extremely guilty about…"

Hana shivered at the memory as well. "… what do we do then…?"

Anko sighed as she lay back down on the ground with her hands behind her head. "For now… we do nothing. We'll just ride the wave and try not to ask anything about Ghost's past love life. It's not like we'll be doing anything to provoke him anyways. He messes with our heads and we beat the living shit out of him. Give and take. When Ghost feels like he's ready to tell us what happened to him however many years ago, he'll tell us. 'Til then, we simply play devil's advocate."

The two watched Gai and Asuma fight in silence for a few more minutes.

"So, do you think I should wear the black leather corset with the red and black lace thong when he gets back, or the purple and blue latex bodysuit with the openings in all the good spots?" Anko asked with a perverted grin on her face.

"Depends, are you going to be the same as normal or are you going to be the damsel in distress this time?"

Anko pouted for a moment before smirking. "I think I'll do a bit of both."

Hana chuckled. "Then definitely the bodysuit. What about your boots?"

"I found these amazing pair of full leg latex boots with four inch heels that go with just about anything and…"

As Anko and Hana discussed their next fun night with Ghost, Asuma and Gai sweat dropped heavily. "Do you think we should…" Asuma asked as he nodded his head in a direction that was definitely pointing away from the two clearly distracted women.

"YES!" Weeped Gai in misery and jealousy... and regret that he was not wearing his cup that day…

o. o. o.

Scabbard was locked in his room, going over several dozen papers from Naruto's world covering ninjutsu, genjutsu, sound activated techniques, and mindscape based techniques.

It had been several weeks since Crypt had been assigned his task, and the insane man had just about mastered the alternate world's brand of sealing and had also isolated the sections of the Hyūga blood that he would need to protect. Scabbard could only marvel for the hundredth time at Crypt's natural ability to create obscenely efficient seals using just his blood. From what Crypt could describe one day before he delved back into his rivalry with the floor, his process of making seals stems from what 'feels right' while shaping his blood into the specified seals and simply testing out how each task is supposed to feel and to what intensity. Then he just warps everything until he gets the most fluent output without actually setting the seal off, and there's the end result.

To be perfectly honest, it was a considerably simpler and more efficient process compared to how pretty much everyone else in the universe had to make each seal: stroke by stroke, with ink or difficult to get ingredients; Crypt merely bled out a bit and shaped his blood into the required pattern; which he could usually determine within seconds. It was also very amusing and convenient that Crypt used his blood for his seals, which was to their knowledge among the most potent sealing ingredients in existence. Seriously, blood from a man who is among the most powerful beings in existence whose powers happen to include blood manipulation? That screams high quality right there.

However, that was not occupying Scab's mind at the moment. Right now, he was busy trying to recreate a technique that a friend of the family, Scabbard's in particular, had used, and had given him permission to attempt to recreate. So far, all of his efforts had fallen drastically short of the original, and Scabbard had shelved the project until a time when he thought he would have a better chance at completing it.

However, this new world may just be the solution he'd been looking for. With the ability to tap into one's mindscape, plus the rather high malleability of chakra and the lack of limits when regarding techniques that did not include elemental affinities or bloodlines… he may just be able to recreate it… no. No, he was sure he could make the technique his own this time. It would take time for him to be able to manipulate chakra to the appropriate levels, and he would have carry less of his power on his person than he normally would at first in order to obtain the appropriate control, but he was sure that he could do it before the invasion of Konoha.

He looked at the photo on his desk. Scabbard stood next to the only man that he would admit that could create extremely dangerous weapons faster than he could. They stood next to each other; both with an impassive look on their faces save for a barely noticeable twitch in their mouths, although there was a cocky attitude in his friend's face that couldn't be ignored. They looked so similar despite the fact that their color schemes were all different. While Scabbard was on the short side, pale with dark brown hair and green eyes, his friend was tall with short white hair and a dark tan with hazel eyes.

Scabbard let a small smile escaped his lips as he chuckled and turned back to his work.

There would be time to reminisce about his days as one of the Legendary Forge Twins later.

o. o. o.

"Oooowwww." Naruto groaned as he lay in his bed with his teammates surrounding him.

"This is what you get for training too much and forgetting to dispel your clones in small groups, Naruto…" Kakashi sighed as he looked down on the poor blonde.

"SHHHHH." Naruto hissed while grabbing his head. "Indoor voices."

"Are you sure you didn't accidentally drink some of Tazuna's booze, Naruto? He does carry some heavy stuff after all." Sakura asked. "If I didn't know any better, I would say you drank yourself under the table last night…"

"I can't get drunk…" Naruto mumbled into a pillow. "Healing…"

"Yeah, yeah." Kakashi sighed. "How about this: since Naruto is clearly unable to go anywhere at the moment, it will just be us three protecting Tazuna while Naruto stays here with Tsunami and Inari … Naruto, can you make us some clones?" Naruto mumbled something incoherent into his pillow before five clones poofed into existence. "Good, now one of you come with us and pretend to be the real Naruto while the others keep an eye on things around here. I'll tell Tsunami that because there are some private documents in the room, the door has been booby trapped, so no one should check this room or be expecting you here." Everyone nodded as Kakashi and the group walked out the door while the other four clones jumped out the window.

Just as Sasuke walked out of the door though, he put on a mischievous smirk and slammed the door shut behind him, causing a loud muffled groan of pain from inside the room. The rest of the group looked at him incredulously. "… What? The dobe nearly cut my dick off a few days ago. That was payback…" Unfortunately, the clone he was talking to gave him an evil smirk and chuckled darkly.

"Teme, you have no idea what horrible game you have just committed yourself to…" Sasuke started to sweat profusely as the clone started to laugh manically. "Welcome to the world of petty revenge pranks…"

o. o. o.

Crypt looked up from his work and smirked. "Someone with potential just joined the dark side. Good, now he shall have all the cookies he desires, not that health food crap they make on the light side… unless it's grandma's cookies. Those are always worth going to the light side for. People don't know what her secret ingredient is, but I do… oh how I do, muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh look, a distraction!" And with that, Crypt spent the next two hours looking at an imaginary sponge candy hippo.

o. o. o.

When Team 7 arrived at the bridge, they saw chaos. All of Tazuna's workers were either laying on the ground unconscious or had disappeared. Standing in front of the group were two still figures, obscured by a thick fog.

"I was wondering when you would show up." Sighed Kakashi as he put his book away and noted that his genin had taken their positions around the bridge builder. "And it seems as if you brought backup this time."

Zabuza snorted as he and Haku walked out of the mist towards their prey. "I just don't want any interruptions for our fight Kakashi, and Haku here is enough to take out all your pathetic genin… if he needs to at all anyways…" Zabuza made a few hand seals and several dozen water clones formed from the puddles of the bridge and approached the Konoha-nin. Zabuza saw Sasuke shivering and decided what the heck. "Heh. Look at that one over there, Haku. He's so scared he's shivering."

Sasuke smirked. "I'm not shivering 'cause I'm scared."

Kakashi nodded. "Do it."

Zabuza had trouble holding back his surprise as the Uchiha tore through his clones at a very impressive speed with his sword. He wouldn't admit it, but he was starting to worry a bit for Haku. "I'm shivering from excitement." The dark haired boy stated as the last clone liquefied and dropped onto the ground.

Zabuza snorted. That cockiness would get the brat in a load of trouble one day. "Haku, it looks like you have a new toy to play with…"

"Yes, Zabuza-sama." Haku bowed with her mask on before she approached Sasuke. "Please do not take this personally, but I'm afraid I am going to have to kill you…"

Sasuke snorted as he readied his sword. "You sound like you think you can actually beat me…" His demeanor calmed down. "… Let's see if you can back it up…"

"Teme…" Naruto's clone growled in warning.

"I know, dobe, don't underestimate my opponents and keep an open mind for all possibilities. They might be as unpredictable as you are…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Glad those beatings Ero-nii gave you finally got through…" The clone chuckled as his teammate and Haku charged at each other. Haku initially dodged Sasuke's slashes, as the power behind a sword strike was enough to sometimes break Haku's senbon. Haku kept a moderate distance from the Uchiha and stuck with throwing her needles at him frequently. Due to her bloodline and the abundance of water around them, she had a limitless supply, however that was not her only advantage…

Just as Sasuke performed another slashing motion while attempting to approach Haku, she jumped back only a fraction of what she normally did to barely avoid the hit before dashing back in and holding the blade in place with one of her senbon. "I now have the advantage…" She whispered in a way to intimidate her opponent.

Sasuke smirked. "Really? From where I'm standing, you've put yourself at a disadvantage. One slip up and my blade will go right through you…"

Haku sighed. "You still have much to learn. We are now surrounded by water, and currently you are unable to perform any hand-seals…" Haku then raised her unoccupied hand and started to blaze through several one handed seals.

"WHAT?!" Sasuke shouted in shock, his fight or flight senses screaming at this point.

 _'I forgot about she could do that.'_ Kakashi mused as he watched the fight. ' _I should ask her about that later…'_

"Hidden art: Flying Water Needles." Haku chanted as the puddles around the two hovered in the air and formed countless needles which moments later fired at them.

"Shit!" Sasuke shouted as he focused his chakra to his legs and jumped out of the way of the barrage on instinct. Zabuza and Haku noted that the Uchiha was much faster this time than the last in terms of chakra control and speed. Sasuke grimaced, noting that despite the power and ranged abilities his sword gave him, it was too slow and clumsy for this type of fight, plus he was still not that experienced using it against projectiles. While in the air, he quickly sheathed his blade and threw a set of shuriken at Haku to redirect her into a better position for him to ambush her. It worked a bit too well. As Haku dodged the last shuriken and positioned herself in front of Sasuke, to his surprise she almost automatically dodged around his attempted stab and managed to impale him in the stomach with a few senbon before his foot connected with her face. It was almost as if she knew he was going to be there…

o. o. o.

"Come on lady. Gatō's been patiently waiting for your arrival…" Sniggered one of the two swordsmen in Tazuna's home as the pair closed in on Tsunami.

"Mom!" Inari shouted as he ran down the stairs.

"Inari!" Tsunami shouted. "Stop! Don't follow me! Get help!"

"Gatō only needs one hostage…" Smirked one of the swordsmen as he took out his blade.

Tsunami glared at her kidnapper. "You dare touch my child and I will bite my tongue clean off!"

"Tch. Fine. We'll be at Gatō's before the brat can get anyone anyways." Muttered the swordsman with the odd hair. "Let's go."

The three didn't make it halfway down the path from the house before Inari jumped out of the house again with a knife. "Let my mom GO!" The boy shouted as he lunged towards them with the knife.

"Inari, NO!" Tsunami shouted as the two swordsmen readied their swords with sadistic smirks on their faces.

Before anything could be done though, a small transparent blue blade erupted from the stomachs of the two swordsmen, stopping everyone dead in their tracks. "Kidnapping a mother and attempting to kill her son in front of her eyes. Wow, and I thought I had seen it all." Chuckled a young, but cold voice behind them. The swordsmen barely managed to turn their heads enough to see a blonde-haired boy behind each of them with a hand placed on their lower backs. "A word of advice, my blades are currently through a point in your bodies that can easily be healed. If you want it to stay that way, you will both drop your swords NOW." The two swordsmen briefly looked at each other before dropping their swords. "Tsunami, could you please take the swords?" One of the blondes asked. The woman paused for a moment before slowly nodding and taking the two swords away from the paralyzed men. When she was far enough, the two small blades retracted from the two men, finally allowing them to collapse. "Good," Sighed one of the blondes before they decked their respective lackey in the head and knocked them out.

"N-Naruto," stuttered Tsunami. "I thought you left with your team."

"That was a clone," explained one of the two boys. "The original got a massive headache from training and had to sleep in for a while. He's already on his way to the bridge, as the clone has sent word that Zabuza's back. You two should find a place to hide, preferably at someone else's home; it's not safe here for now. The four clones here will trail you from the shadows and protect you as long as we can." The group turned their attention to the downed men, who were being healed and tied up by the remaining two clones. "If possible, I would prefer if you let these two be. I am rather against unnecessary killing…"

Tsunami nodded shakily before the clone smiled and turned to Inari. "You know Inari, charging down two armed men with just a kitchen knife really isn't the brightest thing in the world…" Inari looked down before the clone chuckled and patted him on the head. "But I'll be damned if I didn't say that didn't take guts to do that for your mom. I can tell kid, you have the stuff it takes to go far in life…"

o. o. o.

"Damn it!" Sasuke growled as he was slashed all over his body yet again. Nothing he was doing worked! He couldn't get close enough to the mirrors to escape, and his strongest fire techniques did almost nothing to the mirrors except melt them half way through, only to reform seconds later. There were some points where he had thought he had seen Haku move from mirror to mirror, but the speed gap was so great that it barely made a difference. Calming down, the Uchiha could hear the clangs and scrapes of Zabuza fighting Kakashi, and Naruto's clone chanting from a distance. If only the real Naruto was with him! Then they could do their new technique and waste this damn igloo in no time. Unfortunately, a clone could only take one hit before disappearing and they still wanted the element of surprise… that, and even in his injured state he would rather not ask Naruto for help… Why the hell didn't he bother to learn the Shadow Clone technique yet!?

Haku, on the other end, was fairly impressed with Sasuke's improvements. He had managed to melt her mirrors somewhat, something only a high level chūnin could accomplish, and he had managed to avoid a good number of her attacks so far on pure skill despite the wounds she had managed to inflict on him before trapping him. Still, this technique was draining her pretty quickly and she doubted Sasuke would give her enough time to pop a soldier pill. It was time to turn it up a notch. Time for some psychological warfare and subliminal messaging. "I am impressed that you have lasted this long." She mused, catching the Uchiha's attention. "However, it is impossible for you to track my movements while I am performing this technique…"

"This is your last chance. Surrender the bridge builder to us and I will let you live… If not, then I cannot guarantee your life… or your teammates', for that matter…" Haku then proceeded to attack Sasuke violently, but making sure to travel more often than not in the boy's line of sight and aim for spots that would hurt a lot, but would be reasonably easy to heal. What she didn't know was that she would get faster results than she expected this time.

Something snapped inside of Sasuke during Haku's speech. Not only had his opponent openly doubted his ability to survive, but she had the nerve to threaten the lives of his teammates as well! Several memories flashed in front of Sasuke's eyes as he recalled how close the team had gotten to him and how much they actually meant to him… not that he would ever openly admit it, but they had made life actually enjoyable for once. He had become stronger, he had become more powerful, he had become… actually happy for the first time since his brother killed his family and plunged him into a nightmarish world full of revenge. He somehow knew deep down that Naruto would be able to take out this guy, but Sasuke would be damned if he put his new family in danger without giving his opponent hell first.

As Haku assaulted the Uchiha, Sasuke managed to fight through the pain, focusing only on trying to see Haku's movements. Little by little, he was managing to see her movements more clearly. Initially all he could see was a quick blur, something that could be easily ignored if one wasn't paying attention, but now he could clearly notice a shadow jumping between mirrors. It was almost impossible for him to follow, like trying to watch a fly a few inches from a person's face, but it was definitely there. He was stabbed again in the back.

 _'Just a little more.'_ He was stabbed in the right leg.

 _'Almost there.'_ Another two in his left forearm.

THERE! Just as Haku was about to make another pass at his left flank, Sasuke quickly pivoted on his side and managed to nail Haku in the stomach, luckily and very conveniently for both sides in the solar plexus. Luckily for Sasuke, his training with Gai had increased his speed to the point where his body could somewhat match what his eyes could see and react accordingly most of the time. With the combined force of Sasuke's kick and the weight of Haku's body travelling at the speed she was going at, there was little chance the girl would be able to remain conscious.

Haku was incredibly surprised that Sasuke managed to hit her so solidly without any notification that he was tracking her, and before she passed out managed to glimpse his red eyes with two markings in each pupil. She smirked behind her mask as she passed out, happy knowing that for the most part her job was over.

Sasuke breathed heavily as he never took his eyes off his opponent as she collapsed on the ground. He took note of the cracking sound around him and assumed that the mirrors were breaking around them; still, he wasn't taking any chances and approached the down girl with extreme caution. After making sure that she was unconscious, taking off her mask, and tying her up, the last Uchiha collapsed to the ground in exhaustion, wincing as the shock went through the senbon piercing his body.

"Nice body piercings." Mused the Naruto clone as he waltzed towards the pair. "New look?"

Sasuke growled. "Shut up and help me get to Sakura already. Unless you haven't noticed yet, I'm not exactly in the best condition at the moment…"

The clone stared at the Uchiha for a few moments before smirking. "You mean you haven't noticed yet, teme?"

"Stop playing around already and tell me so I can get fucking healed."

The clone sighed as he went to Haku's body to pick it up after he made another clone to drag the Uchiha. "Okay, master stigmata eyes…"

Sasuke paused for a moment to translate what Naruto had just said. "… wait… you mean…?"

The clone snorted as he carried Haku's body towards where Sakura and Tazuna were. "Yeah, you finally woke up your Sharingan. 'Bout damn time. We've been working on trying to get that thing up and running for the past three months." The clone looked back at Sasuke, who was smiling more by the second. "Don't let it get to your head, teme. Remember what Ero-nii told you about when you finally do wake it up. You start abusing your bloodline and we all have explicit orders to hold you down and beat the living shit out of you."

Sasuke sighed. "Dobe, please. Don't ruin the moment for me."

"Sure, sure." The clone sighed as he approached Sakura and Tazuna. He had started to use his Seventh Sense again since he knew that the original would be here any minute and that Gatō was about to make his move. Naruto frowned as he noted that there was both a large group of men quietly gathering on the end of the bridge, as well as three strong chakra signatures. A clone by itself could only keep up the Seventh Sense for 30 minutes before it ran out of chakra, and this clone had already been out for a while and had just made another one, so its reserves were rather low. He had no doubt that Gatō was among them, but he had to hurry. It would be best if Sasuke was healed a bit so they could handle the crowd with more ease. "Teme," The clone helping Sasuke whispered. "You have enough chakra to pull THAT off at least once?"

Sasuke frowned as he looked at the clone helping him. "Something I should know about?" He whispered.

The clone nodded. "Lots of men on the end of the bridge, and a few with high chakra sources. My guess is a bunch of grunts with a few ninja, and strong ones at that." The clone looked back to see Kakashi still fighting Zabuza, but both holding back a decent amount, and often turning their heads to the edge of the bridge as well. "I think Zabuza and Kakashi-sensei can tell something is up as well and are just playing it out to see what happens…"

Sasuke frowned. "You think that they could be Zabuza's backup?"

The clone shook his head. "Zabuza doesn't seem like the type to willingly use cannon fodder to kill his enemies. The most likely answer is that Gatō double crossed him. If that's the case… I have a plan, but we need Sakura to heal you as much as she can as soon as possible.

o. o. o.

"Hey, Kakashi…" Muttered Zabuza as he attempted to slash his opponent with his massive sword again.

"Yeah, I noticed it too." Kakashi responded while barely dodging the attack and receiving a slash across the chest that bled a fair amount despite the fact that it was barely a flesh wound.

"Should we?" Zabuza asked just before he dodged a flurry of kunai and shuriken, taking a couple of shuriken to his side.

"In a few minutes…" Kakashi answered while grabbing another kunai. "It would be best for Sakura to heal the two a bit before we try anything to be safe…"

o. o. o.

"Peh." Gatō snorted as he walked towards Kakashi, who was pinning Zabuza down with a kunai to his throat. "This is what I get for hiring a ninja to do the job…"

"Gatō, what the hell are you doing here?" Zabuza asked in semi-faked fury.

Gatō snorted. "I'm tired of waiting for you to get the damn job done, you pathetic baby demon." He nodded his head towards the giant mob behind him. "That's why I have these guys here behind me. I wasn't really going to pay you anyways. You were too expensive." He turned back to the two jōnin before smirking some more. "Now that both of you are tired, I can just sit back and watch as you both die, and the old drunk gets what's coming to him…"

Kakashi paused for a moment before sighing. "Truce?"

Zabuza grunted before Kakashi got off of him and he got back up. "Truce. Let's murder a midget."

"It's gonna be pretty tough getting to him through all those mercenaries though…" Kakashi sighed.

"Don't worry, Sensei. We got this covered." Naruto chuckled from the side of the bridge as he walked towards the pair, nodding to Sasuke as he slowly walked towards them from farther up the bridge, a good number of his wounds healed with only a few half healed deep scratches remaining. "Remember, teme, aim a little up so that it doesn't hit the bridge, otherwise we're gonna be staying here even longer."

"For the last time dobe, I know." Sasuke moaned as he walked next to the blonde. "Now let's get this over with. I can still feel those damn needles in me and I want to sleep."

Kakashi's eyes widened as he realized what Naruto and Sasuke were about to do. "Zabuza, you might want to back up a bit for this." The cyclops warned as he got behind the two genin. Zabuza didn't need to be told twice after seeing the evil grins on the two boy's faces.

"Get them!" Gatō yelled as he mentally scoffed at the idea that the two boys in front of him could take on the small army that was about to charge.

Far behind him however, the largest of the three Kusa-nin frowned. "Rika, Zurich…" Kuma warned as he positioned his body to move at a moment's notice. His two partners nodded and prepared themselves as well.

Sakura smiled as everything took place as she and Tazuna hid behind her new genjutsu that covered any sound they made. "Brace yourself old man." She chuckled. "You're about to see a hell of a show."

Naruto and Sasuke smirked as they ran through the seals that they had been practicing all week while both drawing in a huge breath of air. The large group of men made no notice of what the boys were doing as they charged on forward, unknowing of what horrors they were about to encounter.

"Fire Style!" Sasuke chanted.

"Wind Style!" Naruto chanted.

"Hidden Collaboration Technique!" They yelled in unison as they exhaled their respective elements in obscene quantities. "FIRESTORM!"

A huge horizontal blazing twister formed and tore its way forward, decimating the small army in moments, incinerating the men that got in its way and amazingly enough, sucking in those that managed to get away moments after the initial formation. Zabuza was watching the entire thing with wide eyes and an open mouth that anyone could see even though it was covered.

"Impressive, isn't it?" Kakashi mused as he observed his student's massacre. "Naruto handles the shape and the stability of the technique, while Sasuke manages the power and the fire. Naruto's wind, controlled by his exceptional elemental manipulation skills, shaped the technique into a horizontal twister that sucked everything even remotely close to its path into its core. In addition to the shape, he can control the size and the sucking force as well to make it more versatile. Sasuke's fire turned the twister into a spinning inferno of death and destruction that ensures that anything caught inside the technique will be completely destroyed. It took them a while to complete the technique, what with the delicate balance between their elements and all. If Naruto loses control on his end, they would end up being sucked into it; if Sasuke does, the entire thing will blow up in their faces rather violently. If I had to guess, I'd say that it's a mid-high A-class technique."

Zabuza could only shakily nod as he watched the two genin take down the horde of men with their technique. Any misgivings he had had about joining Kakashi's group were instantly blown away as he realized that that could have easily been him and Haku in there. He would never admit it, but even he and Haku would have trouble handling this many grunts at once.

Kakashi's musing was interrupted as Sasuke collapsed, ending the technique abruptly and causing Naruto to stop almost immediately afterwards to help his teammate. The two breathed out heavily as Naruto supported Sasuke and jumped him to Sakura for more treatment. As the two turned around to see their accomplishments, they paused in a mixed in awe, excitement, fear and disgust. The entire path in front of them was littered with charred bodies and ashes. Those that were still alive were moaning in agony as they registered that they had been almost burned to death. Naruto was starting to become overwhelmed with the stench of death as steam rose, carrying the scent of ash and charred meat. Sasuke was too tired to react to what he had accomplished, but Sakura and Naruto were having great trouble keeping their lunch in. Tazuna … had a head start on them.

Naruto was at a major crossroads. He knew killing and maiming all those men like that was wrong, however he didn't have a choice in the matter. Gatō was being protected by three high level ninja, and with the addition of the giant mob as well, they couldn't take any risks without putting Tazuna's and his team's lives in great danger. That being the case, he resorted to the advice that Ghost had given him… make a very dry joke to make the situation more manageable. Naruto turned to Zabuza and weakly smirked. "So is that enough to get us into your Bingo Book, mummy face?"

Zabuza snapped out of his stupor to look amazed at the blonde hair boy, and after a few moments noted that he was trying to reign in his own rampant emotions as well. Zabuza sighed, guessing that this was probably the first time that the brat had to dirty his hands like that. Getting back into his character, the Demon of the Mist chuckled. "Feh. Not bad, brat. I guess you'll do as a C-rank for now…"

Naruto was about to retort when he noticed movement on a scale that should not be present in the blast area of the recent attack and frowned. "Heads up, we're not done with this yet…" Naruto muttered as he laid down Sasuke and walked up to the two jōnin with his eyes focusing on the area in front of him and setting his comrades on edge.

"It appears as if the boy can detect our presence…" Rasped a voice from the steam.

"Holy shit!" Shouted a woman's voice. "What the hell is Konoha doing to their genin these days?! If that twister had been any bigger, I doubt that we could have gotten away from that!" Four figures appeared from the steam.

"Do not worry." Grumbled the largest still house. "The genin with the fire element is completely exhausted, and the female is busy protecting the bridge builder and healing the injured; they will not be able to fight anytime soon. I assume that the technique was a last resort. We will not have to worry about something at that level again… although I am somewhat interested in the blonde's large chakra reserves…"

"D-Don't just stand there and chat!" Ranted the smallest person in the group, who everyone easily identified as Gatō. "They're going to kill me! I'm your employer! You have to do what I say!"

"Yeah, yeah." Sighed Zurich as the steam thinned out even more. "Just be sure to pay us double after all this is done. We were hired to make sure you don't get killed by some lone assassin, not bail you out after you piss off Zabuza Momochi and Kakashi Hatake of all fucking people."

"Greetings, Kakashi." Kuma mused as he stepped forward. "It is a pleasure to see you again. Unfortunately, it has to be under these circumstances…"

"Kuma, eh?" Kakashi sighed as he recognized the man. "No wonder Gatō managed to survive that attack…"

"You know him, Kakashi?" Zabuza asked.

Kakashi nodded. "Yeah. We worked occasionally together during the war. He's a unique brand of ninja, being both a sensor type and a frontline soldier, meaning that he's the best possible match up against the standard assassination types. Don't know much about the other two though…"

"Where are my manners?" Kuma mused quietly. "These are my partners, Zurich and Rika. Currently we are under a contract for Gatō to protect him from any and all potential threats…"

"Didn't stop Haku from breaking the wimp's arm, though…" Zabuza sniggered.

"You both are tired, and your only support is a fresh looking genin." Kuma continued, ignoring the comment while his partners played dumb. "Would it be possible for you to abandon your goal of killing my employer? You do not stand a chance against us as you are right now…"

Zabuza shrugged. "Sorry. The midget's head is gonna roll. The bastard had the nerve to backstab me and cop out of giving me my due. Leaving things the way they are would be bad for my reputation. I am a demon, after all. What about you, Kakashi?"

Kakashi sighed. "As long as Gatō lives, our employer will not be able to live in peace, and this country will never be able to relax." He narrowed his eyes. "I apologize Kuma, but your employer has done too much and must suffer the consequences for it."

Naruto stepped forward, cracking his knuckles and narrowing his eyes while making them glow. "It's time for the bastard to reap what he's sewn."

Kuma frowned as he looked at Naruto in particular for a few moments before nodding and turning to Gatō. "It is not safe here. Run and hide. Wait for our return. If we don't, get to somewhere secure." Gatō nodded before he dashed towards the boats that were docked by the end of the bridge.

"Like hell you will!" Zabuza roared as he took out his sword and charged at the short man, only to be stopped by another sword.

"I've always wanted to see how I would fair against one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist…" Zurich mused as they glared into each other's eyes.

"Unfortunately for you, you made a big mistake already…" Zabuza growled as he broke the deadlock and kicked Zurich in the stomach. "Never fight one of us when we're pissed…"

"I'll take Kakashi…" Kuma said to Rika. "You take the genin… but try not to kill him…"

"YAY!" Rika squealed as she made her way to block Naruto. "I get to play with a new toy!"

"Oh goodie…" Naruto deadpanned. "Another pervert… how lucky am I?" He grumbled sarcastically.

"Don't be like that…" Rika pouted as she positioned her arms underneath her breasts to make them look bigger. Naruto could now see that her uniform was like most other ninjas', except hers was a darker blue in color and had a slit in the front that enabled everyone to see the entirety of her cleavage. "If you just let me beat you, I promise I'll show you what a real woman's like… You are pretty cute for a kid…" She taunted seductively.

"And a pedophile to boot. Honestly… why me?" He sighed. "No thanks… I'm already taken," A stupid, mischievous and downright suicidal idea came to his mind. "Besides… I've seen better." He smirked casually.

Everyone paused what they were doing to look at Naruto with wide eyes. All of them were thinking the same thing: Naruto is a dead man.

"I'm not gonna heal him after this…" Sakura stated with conviction.

"He's a little young to be getting around like that, isn't he?" Tazuna asked to no one in particular.

"Kakashi…" Kuma started hesitantly.

"No need to apologize Kuma." Kakashi sighed. "He brought this on himself."

" **It seems your kid still has a lot to learn about women and tact!** " Roared the Kyūbi in laughter as Minato was slamming his head against the ground repeatedly.

"Seen… better…?" Rika repeated to herself in an unstable manner while reaching for several of her specially prepared kunai and senbon, a large demon appearing behind her. "I was going to go easy on you since you're just a genin… but NOW…" She started to throw large quantities of projectiles at the very scared blonde with bloody rage. "I'm gonna mutilate you!"

"Oh SHIT!" Naruto yelled as he managed to dodge the onslaught of weapons, only to realize that the woman was much closer to him than before and performing several hand signs.

"Poison Art! Poison Mist Technique!" She shouted as she exhaled a dark cloud of gas that headed straight for Naruto.

"Nice try!" Naruto shouted as he quickly made a dragon hand sign before thrusting one of his palms towards the cloud and blowing it back to her face with a very strong wind.

He knew that the technique wouldn't do anything to her. Anko had told the rookies that poison based ninjutsu rarely affected the user, and if the woman was a poison specialist, which was more than likely considering that she was from Kusa, then almost any form of the substance would be less than effective against her. The cloud DID, however, impair her vision temporarily, so he had a moment to come up with a plan. Naruto mentally smirked… knowing that he had the advantage of knowing that her poisons wouldn't work against his healing factor… and that she didn't know about said healing factor…

"Damn!" Rika shouted as she was blinded by her own technique. She had no idea what the hell the kid had done, but she was damn sure she had never seen a wind technique like that before. She had to get out of the cloud quick before the kid could... her thoughts were interrupted as several kunai and shuriken made their way through the cloud to her position. Cursing to herself, she jumped out of the cloud, only to come face to face with the blonde, who was smiling like he had just won! "Cocky little shit…" Rika muttered as she slashed out with one of her kunai, barely grazing the blonde's cheek as a quick counter before he could get completely out of the way. Naruto, being only a child despite his immense progress, could only match her for so long while still having the gravity seal on and not using any sage chakra. Rika smirked as the two continued their taijutsu based combat, grinning as Naruto started to sweat and breathe heavier with each punch thrown, until she managed to punch him hard in the face and launch him through the cloud of poison. "What's the matter, brat?" She smiled perversely. "Are you getting tired already? Oh, your girlfriend must be so disappointed in your performance…"

"What… the hell did you do to me?" Naruto coughed out.

Rika smirked as she took out her kunai and stood over Naruto. "Silly genin. I'm a poison specialist. That itty bitty cut on your cheek was done with a poisoned kunai. I'm actually surprised it took you this long to fall down…" She grinned sadistically. "Now… tell me again, what did you think of my breasts…?"

Naruto breathed heavily as he glared at the woman with his slit eyes. "Two things…" He growled, causing the woman to smirk. "One, I've seen more impressive udders on old hags than those fake things you have on you…" Rika frowned as she raised her kunai, determined to silence the brat permanently. "Second…" Naruto smirked as two pale blue blades erupted from Rika's stomach, stopping her in her tracks. "I'm well known throughout Konoha for being a stamina freak of nature, so my girlfriend will be very pleased with my performance when we finally are old enough to actually do anything." Naruto chuckled as he got up from underneath his opponent, completely unaffected by the poison that was supposedly in his system.

Rika was in shock as she registered that she was impaled twice in the stomach. "H-How? My poison…" She hissed as she turned around enough to see the two clones stabbing her with a chakra blade coming from underneath their right arms. "Shadow clones? But when…? where…? I should have detected them…" She whispered as she was forced to the ground.

The original smirked as he walked up in front of her. "Let me give you a hint." He smirked as he brushed his thumb against the cut on his cheek to wipe away the blood and show that there was perfect, unmarred skin underneath.

Rika's eyes widened as she saw the boy completely unharmed or unaffected by her poison. The brat was playing her the entire time! But then how did he manage to hide those clones and get them into position without her noticing… them. "No way…" She hissed as she was brought to her knees… "You hid them… in the poison cloud? Impossible… they should have died instantly…"

Naruto snorted. "I have a very strong healing factor lady. Poisons don't work on me and scratches go away in a matter of seconds. I led you into a false sense of security and positioned you so that you wouldn't notice my clones hiding in your gas cloud. Then it was all just a matter of acting and timing. It was just shitty luck on your part that you went up against me." Naruto created a few more clones and had them tie up Rika after taking away her equipment.

"Beaten by a genin of all things… Why don't you just kill me…?" She growled curiously.

Naruto sighed. "Because I can tell you don't like Gatō, and…!" Naruto turned his head quickly as he detected a very familiar presence. Looking around, he could see Zabuza just about finishing up Zurich, who were both covered in moderately sized cuts, and Kakashi facing down a wounded Kuma who had a large gash in his side, more than likely caused by one of the many jutsu that he had copied over the years, while the cyclops looked a bit battered himself. Before Naruto could say anything though, a body flew through the air past all the groups and slammed onto the ground hard. It took a few moments for everyone to realize that said body was actually Gatō, who'd been beaten rather harshly, as he attempted to get back up.

" **GATŌ."** Spoke a deep and menacing voice from the end of the bridge. Everyone turned to see… a huge head on top of the bridge. Its features were obscured by the steam, but Naruto already knew who it was. **"YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GIANT BIG HEADDED TIKI GODS WITH YOUR SHORTNESS AND YOUR CRUEL TREATMENT OF THIS COUNTRY. AS THE GRAND ELDER TIKI HEAD, I, M. NIGHT SHAMALAMADINGDONG McTOOTTOOT, I CONDEMN YOU TO… OOOOH CRAP, MY NECK!"** During the entire speech, the head was continuously swaying side to side, with greater distance each time, until … **"SHIT! I'M FALLING OVER THE EDGE! NONONONONONONONONONONO!"** Said giant head rolled over the side of the bridge, causing everyone watching to sweat drop excessively. They all were staring at where the head just was and trying to comprehend what the hell just happened as a man crawled back over the edge of the bridge. "Holy crap, that was close." He yelled to himself. "Now I know why people don't use the big head technique more often. It's fucking murder on the neck! Owwww."

Everyone proceeded to sweat drop more. "Yeah, Sensei…" Naruto sighed. "Ero-nii's here."

Kakashi sighed. "I noticed."

"That's the assassin from the Ōgakari clan?!" Zabuza shouted, not believing what he was seeing.

"Let me try this again." Ghost sighed as he walked into plain view for everyone to see. "Gatō… you're a prick and you're making an entire country miserable just to fill your oversized happy meal pockets. This being the case, you are causing trouble for other countries as well, so you're pretty much going to die now." Ghost breathed out slowly as he started to form hand signs.

"H-Help!" Gatō shouted as he attempted to run away.

Kuma's eyes widened as he realized that Ghost was about to attack their client. "Zurich!" He shouted as he dashed to get in between the relaxed man and the gnome. Zurich managed to get away from Zabuza as he charged at Ghost. Kakashi and Naruto watched Ghost in earnest as he had never seen Ghost actually need to use hand signs to perform a technique before…

"I kinda hoped that this technique's debut would have been against a larger crowd. It's kind of disappointing that I'm using it against a lone midget for its first public viewing." Ghost mused to himself as he completed the final seal. "Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers." He sighed. "Wind style." He chanted, completely ignoring Zurich coming at him with his massive sword raised.

"War Scars."

Nothing happened. No giant blast of wind, no tornado, no indication at all that a jutsu had just been performed.

Zurich slashed down with his sword as fast as he could, prompting Ghost to dodge at the last possible moment and jump back a few meters. "Heh. You were too slow." Zurich chuckled, knowing full well that his side was still in a bad position at the moment.

"N-no." Naruto said, gaining everyone's attention. His eyes were wide with shock and fear as he processed what Ghost had just done. "… l-look at Gatō…" Everyone turned to look at the billionaire, only to barely hold in their lunch as they saw what had happened to him. Gatō was on the ground in a bloody heap. His entire body was covered in deep lacerations. At several points, his limbs were completely severed, separating them from his torso or from larger portions of the arms or legs. His neck was cut halfway through several times at various angles, as was pretty much every other part of his body. All the cuts were swift, clean, and unaltered no matter what section of the body they were located at. Wherever the man's body came in contact with the air was subject to the wrath of the technique.

What they didn't see, that Naruto had, was the manner of the attack. With his Seventh Sense, Naruto could see the air around the man warp into a countless number of blades, slice through the man in a single motion with no resistance whatsoever, before turning back into simple gas, all in the space of an instant. The scariest thing was that it all happened without warning. There was no indication that the air around Gatō was the focus of the technique other than the fact that all the air around them had gone perfectly still.

"What?" Kakashi asked in a quiet voice.

"Impossible…" Zabuza said.

"How?" Kuma whispered.

Ghost sighed. "Before you all proceed to shit yourselves, can we all agree to stop fighting since the focus of our headaches is gone now? I've been trouble sleeping lately, and my head is killing me." He paused a moment before looking around. "Oh! Kakashi, dumbass! What's up? I heard your mission was around here, but I didn't know you would end up against my new target. Small world, huh?"

Kakashi blinked a few times before sighing and letting down his guard. "Small world indeed." He muttered to himself more than anyone else before turning to Kuma. "I assume we can stop fighting now without any complications?"

Kuma breathed out a held in breath before staring at Ghost who was breathing through his shirt after he realized that he was standing in the middle of a crispy massacre. "Fine…" He grumbled. "Zurich, Rika. We failed our mission. Stand down." He turned to see Zurich holstering his sword and resting himself on the ground with a breath of relief. Kuma then turned to Rika's location to be surprised moments later.

"Unless you haven't noticed, Kuma…" Rika called out irritably while in pain and tied up. "I can't really stand down more than I am right now…"

"You lost?" Kuma asked with an eyebrow raised. "How…?"

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto is a very unpredictable person. It doesn't surprise me that he managed to find a way to beat your teammate. Don't take it personally, he does this to everyone."

"You gonna take home the spoils?" Ghost asked Naruto with a lecherous grin as he nodded his head to the tied up woman. "You, my friend, are a dirty, dirty boy…"

Naruto grew a tick mark. "She can spit poison and probably acid from her mouth." He stated in a dead tone. Ghost froze and began to pale dramatically before walking to one of the sides of the bridge and crawling into the fetal position.

"What the hell was that about, dobe?" Sasuke grunted as Tazuna helped him over to the blonde. Sakura was helping a recently awakened and very co-operative Haku to the end of the bridge as well.

Naruto chuckled dryly. "It's nothing, really. I just reminded Ero-nii of this woman that he once dated a few times a while ago. He had pissed her off at one point for some reason, and she decided to get back at him while they were doing… stuff."

Naruto had to hold back a laugh as he saw the slow but very distinct change in all the other male's faces as they translated what he was saying. He failed miserably as every male other than him put on a look of pure terror and crossed their legs while hunching over and distancing themselves from the tied up Rika.

"IT STILL BURRRRRRNNNNNSSSSSSSS! WHYYYYYYYYYY?!" Ghost cried from the edge of the bridge.

"You are a horrible person." Sakura stated with conviction in her voice.

"You little bastard!" Rika shouted. "Do you know how long I've been trying to get Kuma to go out with me?! Now I'll never be able to get a date with him!"

"Then why the hell were you trying to hit on me?" Naruto asked incredulously. "I'm only 13."

"For crying out loud." Rika groaned in frustration. "I was trying to intimidate you!"

"With… your breasts?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yes, damn it!" Rika shouted, completely losing her temper. "I tried to intimidate a 13 year old boy with my fucking tits!"

"Ummmm." Asked a voice behind the group. "Did, we come at a bad time…?" The group of ninja turned around to see the entire population of the nearby villages on the bridge, armed with various weapons, with Inari in the front and his mother's ears over his ears. Needless to say, the assassins there (minus Ghost, of course) were all very much embarrassed with their current position.

"Errr." Kakashi stumbled, trying to save them from the current situation. "Yeah, actually you came at the perfect time! Hahaha." He laughed scratching the back of his head. "As you can see, the fighting is done, and there are plenty of wounded here. We need everyone to clean up the bridge and try to tend the wounded."

Several villagers nodded as they looked around and took in the carnage in front of them. "What about Gatō?" One of the villagers asked.

Kakashi sighed as he pulled his protector over his eye and turned to the body. "Gatō's…" He paused as he discovered that the body was not in the same position that they'd left it. Frowning, the scarecrow quickly looked around and noticed that Ghost had disappeared as well. Mentally shrugging to himself, the silver haired man turned to the group again. "Not going to be a problem anymore. We took care of it." Kakashi gave everyone there a quick look, and receiving small nods in return as the villagers cheered in their newfound freedom.

The sounds of celebration echoed throughout the Land of Waves for many days afterward, alongside the sounds of a bridge being made by the second most inebriated man in the country; the first being a long haired man with sunglasses who was trying to stave off sleep as much as he could… that, and there was booze flying all over the place, and who was he to say no to a free drink?

o. o. o.

A/N: Yeah… I'm probably going to update on Saturday this time.

Please Review.

Poll: Saturday and Friday are still tied up. This is the last week 'til it closes, so vote damn it!

Grrrr, I don't know why I rushed this chapter, but I did it anyways! Muahahahahahahaha. Slam! zzzzzzzzzzzz.

Oh OH GOD! … twenty threeeeeeeeeeeeee. . .

Oh yeah I forgot to mention one thing. Ghost is not a masochist. He is a lazy sadist. The thing is, horrible things happen to him very frequently, and due to his condition, he is so used to pain that many painful things don't bother him as much as they should now.

... that, and despite the horrible incident mentioned above, he still proudly can claim that his member is reasonably larger than the gross average of males'. Awww yeah.


	24. I dunno… stuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 24: I dunno… stuff

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

"Are you serious?" Kakashi asked, truly stupefied at the story he had just heard.

"Yeah." Sighed Zabuza as he walked along his new ally. "The entire grade was pummeling the shit out of Yagura because he was different, and I just lost it. Before I had realized what I had done, I had butchered the entire grade. Ironic, isn't it? I do something to protect my best friend, who just happened to have a demon sealed in him, and I get the nickname Demon of the Bloody Mist."

After the chaos at the bridge calmed down, the ninjas present explained their situation to the citizens of Wave, minus a few specifics (Ghost, techniques used, etc.). It took a while to convince the villagers that the Kusa-nin and the missing-nin were on their side now, but with Naruto's unrivaled optimism and the support of Tazuna's family to back him up, the situation was managed without much issue. The Kusa-nin left several days later, explaining that they had to report their failed mission and unfortunately the details involving Ghost, which was understandable for the rest of the ninja there. After a couple of weeks and several loud parties, the bridge was finally completed without any other issues, and the group was finally heading back for Konoha.

Ghost still had yet to make his appearance since the bridge.

"I'm just glad you're not trying to kill us anymore…" Sighed Sakura as she maintained a fair distance away from the man.

"How the hell did you manage to kill more than half of them before they realized that someone was picking them off?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "I mean, I know that they were supposed to be graduating that year, but seriously? That doesn't say much for the Kiri's training program…"

Zabuza snorted. "From what I've heard about Konoha's academy program, you weren't much better off than they were. As for how I did so well, I was an orphan in Kirigakure. I had to steal to survive every day, so sneaking around and being quiet was almost second nature for me by that point, unlike those spoiled brats who were mostly from noble families. Besides, I doubt that most academies cover how to detect stealth on a chūnin level anyways."

"Anko-sensei is gonna love playing with you…" Naruto laughed as he walked alongside the group while keeping Haku company. "She's been complaining lately about how there was no decent assassin around her level to talk to that isn't in ANBU. I mean, there is Ero-nii, but he's WAYYY beyond her level, so he doesn't count. Besides, most of the time they're together, he's too busy stealing her panties or getting the shit beaten out of him to hold a conversation with her…"

"Tell me about it." Sighed a voice from ahead of the group. "Even when we try to do something together, she always ends up trying to fillet me. It's a major turnoff in my opinion. I mean, I do enjoy doing the kinky stuff **to** the women I'm with occasionally, but drawing blood while trying to get my groove on? No thanks." Everyone looked up to see Ghost sitting on a branch above their route while inspecting Zabuza's sword, looking at it from various angles and tapping it in seemingly random areas.

Zabuza inspected his back rapidly to see that Ghost indeed stolen his sword without him knowing about it. "How the hell?"

Ghost smirked. "I am, how you say, very sneaky sneaky." He tapped the sword a few more times and listened to the pitch. "You take good care of your sword. It has a very healthy tone to it despite its size and the amount of blood that it has drawn." Ghost mused as he listened to the blade's pitch. "I'm curious as to why your sword is so… plain compared to some of the other swords belonging to the Seven Swordsmen, though…" He turned to Naruto and Sasuke. "I saw your fights, guys. Great job with Firestorm, very impressive and very well maintained despite your injuries. Also, congrats on waking up your Sharingan, Sasuke." Sasuke smirked as he flashed his dōjutsu for a moment. "Just remember that your eyes are just another tool; a very potent and useful tool to be sure, but a tool none the less. You start letting it get to your head and I'll have to humiliate you in public… again. You know as well as I do that even the Sharingan is useless against a horde of fangirls. That reminds me … Naruto, do you have any… decent pictures still stored away somewhere?"

Naruto smirked as Sasuke turned to his teammate with a look of betrayal. "Heheheheh. Yep."

"Traitor." Sasuke scowled.

"Sorry, teme, but those pictures simply have too much blackmail potential."

Ghost chuckled. "Good minion."

Haku leaned towards Sakura. "Are they always like that?"

Sakura sighed. "Unfortunately."

Zabuza growled. "Can I have my sword back?"

Ghost shrugged as he got up and jumped down to the group and handed the man his sword with the blade pointing straight up into the air with both hands. "Here you go Mr. Pajama pants." Zabuza's nonexistent eyebrows twitched as he put the sword back onto its holster on his back. "Well then, shall we go?" He asked cheerfully.

Kakashi sighed as he nodded to everyone and continued to travel to Konoha. "So Ghost, when did you get that mission to kill Gatō?" He asked nonchalantly, gaining everyone's attention.

Ghost shrugged. "A couple of days after you left for your mission, to be honest. I was surprised when I heard that our missions were so close to each other, but I didn't think much of it until I was sneaking around Gatō's main base. For a spoiled brat of a midget, he had some damn good taste in booze…"

"Wait…" Zabuza asked. "If you were infiltrating his base, why the hell didn't you kill him earlier and save us the trouble of fighting each other? … and how the hell did you manage to evade the Kusa-nin? Those three specialized in detecting assassins!"

Ghost laughed. "Well, for your first question, before I killed the gnome I overheard him talking about sending you to kill Tazuna, who I knew that Kakashi's group was already protecting. Being the incredibly handsome and psychotic bastard that I am, I decided to let things play out to see what happened and give the munchkins a bit of field practice. Besides, it gave me more time to learn more of his secrets, including his safe locations, passwords, account numbers…"

"So we can safely assume it was you who left the information to Gatō's accounts, property deeds, and his balances in front of Tazuna's doorstep a few days after the fight?" Kakashi mused.

"Yep." The long haired man chuckled. "The people of Wave needed it more anyways. I'll say that in my mission report, not like the old man would punish me for it anyways… as for how I evaded the Kusa-nin, well, I thought I told you that I am very sneaky."

"Your skills aside, I thank you for stepping in when you did." Kakashi sighed. "Kuma was a good ally of mine during the war, and I didn't want to have to kill him, especially considering the circumstances… by the way, what was that technique you performed on Gatō? I've never heard of it before."

Zabuza frowned. "I must admit, I'm curious too. You had two men between you and the little fucker and yet only the gnome was slashed to pieces, and there was no sign of the technique working either…"

Ghost smirked. "That, my friends, is my original technique, Wind Style: War Scars. It's a technique that uses the very air around your target or area to slash it heavily on all sides in one swift and impossible to follow moment." Ghost turned around. "It is a special technique that requires the Seventh Sense to perform, otherwise the user would only end up turning themselves into sashimi." Everyone listening shivered as Ghost turned around, smirking. "This technique is rather weak, despite its efficiency. If put up against another technique, War Scars would be easily overpowered. It can only do one thing well, and that is what it was made for. Assassination."

"Fast, undetectable, clean, no strings attached, almost impossible to avoid or block unless you know the mechanics of it and knew it was coming at all, and most importantly, flexible without any point of origin." The listeners were sweating profusely as they listened to the technique's description. "In short, it's the ultimate technique for killing an opponent." Ghost turned around to see everyone's reaction to the technique. "Judging from your reaction… I'd say that Anko would jump me then and there and demand we make babies now if I were to do a repeat performance with her around." And just like that, the tension was killed in a burning fire with lots of screaming and extra burning stuff thrown in the mix just for kicks. "Hey, don't judge me, okay? It took me forever to finally get the fucker down. To be honest, I completed it only a couple of days before the fight on the bridge."

Naruto snorted. "You're under the impression that we stopped judging you? You're so naïve, Ero-nii."

"Touché."

Zabuza scoffed. "Well, whatever the hell it was, I have to give credit where credit is due as a fellow assassination specialist. That technique is damn impressive."

"At least someone here appreciates my awesomeness." Ghost grumbles.

"Zabuza-sama…" Haku interrupted. "I have been meaning to ask you, where do you plan to stay while in Konoha? There are barracks and apartments, but we are a bit short on money at the moment, and…"

"Ah, don't worry guys," Ghost said cheerfully. "You can stay at my place until you get yourselves all set. Living in a big place like that by myself gets a bit creepy after a while anyway. Think of it as my way of saying, I'm sorry I waited to see you guys beat the living shit out of each other while I was watching from the shadows eating popcorn and drinking beer when I could have done something to make your lives vastly easier earlier on." Everyone sweat dropped at Ghost's reasoning… and a few developed tick marks.

"Why are you so comfortable having Zabuza in your home?" Sakura asked inquisitively. "Aren't you concerned he might try to steal your clan's secrets or kill you in your sleep?" She shied away as Zabuza and Haku glared at the girl. "I-I'm just saying…" She quickly stuttered.

Ghost chuckled. "Don't worry about it, Sakura. Zabuza owes me big time, even if this is the first time we've actually met, and he knows it. Besides, I still have a few things he may be interested in that he won't be able to get if I'm dead, so I'm safe, for now at least." Ghost then laughed out loud some more without a care in the world as everyone stared at him in disbelief.

"He's very… honest, isn't he?" Haku sighed to Naruto as Ghost's laughter increased dramatically for no reason whatsoever.

"If by honest you mean bat shit insane, then yes." Deadpanned Naruto in a defeated tone.

o. o. o.

"Damn it, Zurich!" Rika shouted as she chased after her teammate while the group traveled back to Kusa. "I'm not going to melt your fucking dick off, so stop running away from me already!"

"I'm not running away from you!" Zurich yelled back in an unconvincing tone. "I just want to get home faster, that's all!"

"There's a reason why you're not sent of political missions damn it!" Rika countered. "You suck at lying! For fuck's sake, Zurich, I'm not going to give you head, so stop running away from me!"

Kuma sighed as his partners chased each other across the forest, making it hard for him to focus on his thoughts. First of all, that assassin, Ghost. Kuma had never sensed the man's presence, and before anyone knew he was there, the man had gained everyone's attention without any regard for his safety by revealing his position for everyone to see. Kuma didn't know why, but he had a strong feeling that he was spying on Gatō long before he had revealed his presence, meaning that Ghost was within his range of detection and Kuma never knew he was there.

Then there was that technique he had used. He was still having nightmares about it. Such an efficient technique… In theory, it was more appropriate for killing than any other jutsu he had heard of. The man could potentially kill off a Kage, and the world would not even know he was there… Kuma sighed to himself. Despite their ties with Konoha, Ghost would most likely end up in their village's Bingo Book by the end of the report.

Then there was the blonde… Naruto.

Kuma was far from stupid. As soon as he had enough time to look at the boy for several seconds, he found out who his father was. He had worked with Kakashi on several occasions during the war, and had talked to the Fourth Hokage several times before he actually took the position. The boy, while a bit more loud and obnoxious than anticipated, was an exact replica of his father, minus the whisker marks and silted pupils of course.

The man was honestly surprised when he discovered that Rika had been defeated by a single genin without much problem, but the realization that the he was the descendant of one of the most legendary ninja of all time kicked the former wonder out the window. He didn't know that Minato had actually had a son to begin with, or that anyone did for that matter. There were no rumors that Minato had a girlfriend or a wife, let alone a son, and he had talked to the man enough to know that he was honorable enough to not do a one night stand with anyone, even if he was incredibly hammered.

Kuma was torn what to do with this information. Kakashi had seen his reaction to Naruto and had warned him to keep the boy's identity a secret, for now at least, and his respect for the cyclops and his sensei were near unparalleled.

… Perhaps he would go with his students to the Chūnin Exams after all…

o. o. o.

"You having trouble sleeping? That's new." Kakashi asked as he walked up to Ghost, who was leaning against a tree and supposedly not moving. It was roughly two in the morning, and Ghost had finished his watch shift over two hours ago.

"You noticed?" Ghost replied in a tired tone.

Kakashi eye smiled. "I may not be on your level, but I can at least tell that much." Ghost sighed before resting his head against the tree again. "Is there something on your mind?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Ghost paused for a moment before smirking in a dry manner. "Nothing much… just my version of Obito… except hotter… and it's a she… and I don't have a body part of her in me… which would be pretty odd if you tried to think about how that could work…"

Kakashi stalled in surprise for a moment before relaxing again and looking at the man in pity. "How long ago was it?" Kakashi asked, knowing that asking for too much would just end in silence.

Ghost took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "… It was a little over 400 years ago…" He answered in a heavily emotional voice, somehow keeping calm the entire time.

Kakashi looked at him skeptically. "… A little long to be mourning for a lost lover, isn't it?"

Ghost shook his head and smiled sadly. "…Not if you drove her literally insane, and right before you killed her out of pity, she cursed you with words that haunt you every time you hear them, staring at you with the coldest eyes you would ever see… then constantly pops up in your dreams every few years…"

Kakashi froze, not knowing how to come up with a decent response to that, so he winged it. "… Is it possible that you haven't gotten over her yet?"

Ghost sighed. "I've tried more times than I care to count, and a good portion of the time, I believe I have. The thing is, no matter what I do, she eventually comes back and haunts my dreams, and causes a massive relapse." He turned to Kakashi. "I've seen you at the memorial stone several times. … You get the nightmares, too." Ghost wasn't asking at that point, and Kakashi knew he didn't have to. Kakashi in turn just breathed out slowly and nodded.

The two men just stood there after that, reminiscing on their past mistakes and savoring the fact that at least they weren't the only ones that had to go through such hell.

o. o. o.

"Okay, guys! That was very well done for your first C-ranked mission." Kurenai said with an open smile as her team walked back through the gates of Konoha. It had been a little over three weeks since Team 7 and Ghost had left to do their mission, and during that time Team 8 had received approval for higher ranking missions, being allowed to escort a small trading caravan from Konoha to the Taki-Hi (Waterfall-Fire) border. Aside from a few small groups of bandits, who were unusually easy for the team of genin to detect and take out, there was no real issue with the mission… well, other than the fact that all three of the genin at one point or another managed to achieve their first kill. Hinata took it the worst, but she managed to recover within a fair amount of time. "You can now take the day off while I hand in the mission report. Remember that we still have group training tomorrow. Later." Kurenai said in a happy tone as she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Damn." Kiba sighed. "Now that was a mission. No cats. No chores. Just traveling, and fighting. Too bad we can't do it again until Lee's team finishes their next mission."

Shino shifted his glasses, quietly agreeing with his teammate's statement. He too was fairly tired of the menial tasks that D-rank missions presented them with. "I concur, Kiba." He paused for a moment. "There is still time before my clan expects me back. Would you two perhaps want to go out for lunch?"

"S-Sure Shino." Hinata managed to stutter. Unfortunately for the young girl, she suffered a momentary relapse after she performed her first kill.

"Why not?" Kiba smirked. "I bet I know where Hinata wants to eat…"

"K-Kiba-kun." Hinata blushed as Shino sighed.

"Ichiraku's it is then." Shino said in a somewhat defeated tone. It was obvious that Hinata had feelings for Naruto, evidenced by how much she faltered whenever he came up in conversation… however, it was a bit of a surprise that Naruto's choice place of cuisine, while not the healthiest, was among the best places to eat in Konoha. Despite its small size, the ramen stand served some of the best food the genin had ever had, and all of them had been there enough times to be friends with the owner and his daughter.

The three walked to the ramen stand rather quickly, with Kiba talking and Shino and Hinata just yes-ing him the entire time, only paying attention to roughly a third of the words that were coming out of his mouth.

"Hey ramen guy!" Kiba shouted as the team came from under the flaps. "Make us some ramen! We're hungry after our awesome C-ranked mission!"

"Please excuse our teammate." Shino sighed as he sat himself in one of the stool chairs. "Manners are something he is still working on… as well as bathing."

"For the last time Shino, I do bathe!" Kiba shouted, gaining the attention of everyone in the stand.

"It was not a matter of whether you bathe or not." Shino mused as he looked at the menu. "… It was a matter of how often you do so… which is not enough in many opinions."

Teuchi laughed as he approached the counter. "Ah, don't worry about it. Naruto's been coming here for years, and let me tell you, ramen guy is just another thing on the long list of names I've been called. So, what can I get for you three?"

"I will have the miso ramen please." Shino asked quietly.

"S-Shrimp ramen please." Hinata stuttered.

"Beef me up all the way!" Kiba howled with energy.

"One beef, one shrimp, and one miso, coming right up!" Chuckled Teuchi as he went back to get their meal.

"Troublesome…" Sighed a lazy voice from near the group. Team 8 turned around to see Team 10 walking through the main entrance. "You guys are back. I guess that means it's our turn to get a C-ranked mission soon."

"Stop complaining, idiot!" Ino shouted from right behind the Nara. "Do you honestly want to try and catch that damn cat again instead of seeing what you are actually capable of?"

"If it gives me more time to just relax and watch the clouds, then sure." Shikamaru shrugged, only to get a whack upside the head.

"Hey guys!" Chōji said cheerfully, obviously ignoring his team's arguing. "What's up?"

"Heh." Kiba puffed out his chest. "We just finished our mission, and dare I say we kicked ass."

"Odd…" Shino mused. "Why are you here? Has Naruto's team come back yet? Surely they still aren't on their mission."

Shikamaru shrugged lazily. "I have no idea what happened to them. Asuma-sensei said that there were some issues with their mission and that it would take a while longer to finish. As you can see, they aren't back yet, otherwise we would have two… no, three troublesome loudmouths among us right now instead of two."

"Hah!" Ino shouted, pointing at Kiba. "Serves you right mutt! … wait, three? Who's the third loudmouth, Shika?" Ino turned to see everyone staring at her and sweat dropping. Ino was rather intelligent when she wasn't being a gossip, so unlike Kiba, who would just be confused if he was in the same position, Ino understood within two seconds that Shikamaru was referring to her. She then proceeded to walk up slowly to Shikamaru and chase him outside the ramen bar while they screamed bloody murder for different reasons.

"We'll be right back, guys." Chōji chuckled nervously as he chased after his teammates.

"Soooooo…" Kiba stalled, trying to recover from the distraction that just occurred.

"It appears as if Team 7 has come across some issues on their mission…" Shino mused. "I hope that nothing unfortunate occurs…"

"I-It will be fine Shino-kun." Hinata stuttered. "T-They have Kakashi-sensei and Naruto-kun on their team. I d-don't think that they will come across anything that they can't handle."

"Feh." Kiba grumbled, slightly jealous that Hinata still has the hots for the blonde. "I don't know why you admire him so much when you are so damn strong already. I mean it's not like he's stronger than you are…" Kiba turned to notice Hinata fidgeting in her chair. "You're kidding me." Kiba deadpanned. "Hinata, you beat the living crap out of Neji, and he's supposed to be the strongest genin in Konoha. I know that Naruto has that weird bloodline of his and that his chakra reserves are huge, but seriously there is no way he can beat you in a fight… could he?"

Shino decided to interject. "Kiba, I have been suspecting that Naruto has been hiding his strength from us as well. Part of being a good shinobi is knowing how to hide valuable information and skills, and Naruto has been doing that for a long time. I must remind you again that he has been training with Ghost-sensei the longest, and that our progress has more than significantly increased since we started under his tutelage. I have also noticed that more often than not he is the unofficial leader of the team due to his ability to pick the most appropriate path to take at the time, despite his less than noteworthy behavior and performance."

"Here's your ramen!" Teuchi cheered happily as he passed out the ramen to the three teammates. "I hear you talking about Naruto." The man said with a grin. "He's a good kid. It's about time he got some friends his own age."

Kiba raised an eyebrow as he started to eat his ramen. "What are you talking about? There's no way that the dead last could have had trouble making friends. I mean, he was annoying and all, but it shouldn't have been that hard for him."

Teuchi sighed. "Believe it or not, Naruto was a pretty lonely kid. Still is, if I'm not mistaken. Oh sure, he laughs and plays pranks as if they're going out of style, but it's really a way to deal with being alone all the time. No parents, no family, people avoiding him left and right; it's no wonder he ended up the way he is. Really, from a logical point of view, the only other ways he could have ended up with that kind of treatment was either a psychotically dark and cruel child or a nervous wreck that would run away or crawl up into a ball the second you looked at him funny." Teuchi let out a sigh as he scratched the back of his head as he pretended to ignore the fact that his young customers were not eating.

"I remember the first time I met him. It was about six years ago, give or take, and I was about to close up shop when he came in. Tiny little thing. Skinny from hunger, covered in dirt, torn up clothes, and looked like he was about to bolt at the first sign of trouble. I thought to myself, who the hell was taking care of this kid, leaving him in that kind of condition. He asked me if he could eat here, all with one leg out the door as if I was gonna beat him or something as soon as he spoke. My heart broke then and there and I started up the stove again and started to cook. I asked him where his family was and he said he didn't have one. I asked where he lived and he told me that the place he stayed at kicked him out a long time ago. I asked if there was anyone he trusted and he told me that the only person he trusted was the old man in the funny hat, but that whenever he tried to see him, the people at the door would tell him to go away and take out their kunai to threaten him. Needless to say, I was shocked. So I did what anyone else with a heart would do and give the kid a free meal. Could you imagine that he didn't even know what ramen was before that?" Teuchi chuckled as Team 8 and the newly returned Team 10 listened with wide eyes.

"Imagine my surprise when I saw the damn brat eat three bowls of ramen after slowly eating his first bite in five minutes! The little bastard nearly ate all of the day's profits in one sitting, but that smile that he gave me afterwards just snapped me out of my grumbles. You can't fake a look like that. I asked him where he was staying, and he told me that there was a tree in one of the training grounds with a bunch of roots that kept him dry when it rained. That did it for me, considering that it was the middle of winter at the time, and I practically forced the brat to stay the night, after introducing him to Ayame of course. Poor kid nearly suffocated when the girl squealed and put him in a death hug. It took him a while for him to actually agree to stay here, but he did. Next day, I went straight to the Hokage's office to tell him about Naruto. Imagine my surprise when the old geezer nearly jumped out of his chair and shook me half to death, asking where the hell he was!" Teuchi chuckled, mentally noting that he probably should keep the rest of the story a secret. "Well, to sum up the rest of the story, old man Sarutobi took care of Naruto for about a week while he got the kid an apartment, but the little brat has rarely gone a day without coming back here to eat ramen and talk. He's practically family here, and he knows it too. He brings a good atmosphere as well, so no one can complain much anyway. I also have immunity from his pranks as well, so that's a definite plus…" It was then that the ramen man looked and saw how much of an impact he had on his customers.

Hinata and Ino were crying heavily at the story, which was expected considering how touching it was and that the girls were only 13 years old. Kiba was looking down in guilt from all the times he made fun of Naruto throughout the years. Chōji was regretting all the times that he didn't share his food with Naruto when the blonde asked him during the academy days. Shino outwardly looked the same as normal, but on the inside he was berating himself for not seeing something like this earlier, when all the signs were right in front of him for years. Shikamaru mentally sighed to himself, knowing that while this was a very hard thing to ignore, it didn't change the fact that Naruto was the same as normal… well, maybe normal wasn't the right word for Naruto, but it didn't make him any different anyways.

"… you think we should do something for him?" Chōji asked slowly.

"Doubt it." Grumbled Teuchi, slightly irritated that no one was eating or ordering from him. "Naruto's stubborn. He doesn't like to be babied or treated as if he's special. Practically raising yourself from the ground up can do that to a person, and I've heard enough rants about his Uchiha teammate to know that much. You really want to make it up to him, just be there for him. Help him out if he asks for it, be his friend… and if I know him as much as I think I do, give him a training session he will never forget. That Ghost guy drives him up the wall with his weird methods, but I'll be damned if I didn't tell you that the brat doesn't practically idolize him in his own weird way." Teuchi sighed. "Naruto is incredibly loyal to those who are close to him. Money, fame, hell, I bet he would even give up trying to be Hokage if it meant protecting his precious people. It would be great if there were more people like that in the world… then I would be able to own an entire chain of stands… Ichiraku's ramen stand chain… I like the sound of that… speaking of which, are you guys gonna eat and order, or am I just going to assume you paid for the story?"

Team 8 snapped out of their daze and looked at their ramen to see that it had lost much of its heat. They shifted a bit uncomfortably before starting to eat their meal despite its less than adequate temperature. Team 10 on the other hand slowly got into some chairs and ordered their meal.

"I know what you guys are thinking," Shikamaru sighed after a few minutes, reading the looks on his friend's faces. "Don't. We all know Naruto enough by now to know that anything we try to do in order to 'make it up' to him will result in disaster if we get caught. The best we can do right now is just hang out with him a bit more and train with him… and maybe OCCASIONALLY treat him to ramen… just make sure if you actually do that to bring a lot of money. I've talked to Iruka-sensei once and he mentioned something about the idiot eating him out of his next paycheck… and I personally don't doubt him."

"I like that taking him out to ramen idea the most! Do that one!" Shouted Teuchi from the kitchen, causing everyone to sweatdrop.

Shikamaru paused for a moment before sighing to himself, noting that in reality that probably _was_ the best way to handle the situation.

Troublesome.

o. o. o.

"I'M BOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEDDDD!" Shouted Shadow as she laid upside-down on the couch in the living room.

"We heard you the first time." Grumbled Waltz as he looked up from the newspaper.

"Damn it Waltz! Stop mocking me!" Shadow retorted with puffed out cheeks. "No new games have come out lately, Ghost is still AWOL, Scabbard FINALLY comes back, only to shut himself in his room again after talking to Crypt, and said psychopath is busy working on his new seal so I can't test my new napalm on him!"

"You have a new formula?" Waltz raised an eyebrow.

"The key ingredients are pixy sticks and barbecue sauce!" She exclaimed in a proud voice.

"No human tears this time?"

"No, those are only useful in magical brand incendiaries. I'm trying to go down the classical anarchist path this time."

"Indeed." Waltz paused for a moment before looking at Shadow again, who was now in a gothic Lolita costume and swinging from a previously non-existent rope from the ceiling. "Fashion changes aside, has Zuzushi waken up yet? She's been out of it for a while."

Shadow cocked an eyebrow for a moment before shrugging. "She isn't up yet, but I've felt her energy flux every now and then, so she should be among the living pretty soon."

"Do you think that we should start looking for Ghost? Zuzushi was always quite partial to him." Waltz asked.

"Nah." Shadow replied. "You know how he is. He'll show up when he wants to. It's not like he can't take care of himself; he is the only one of you guys that can take down Zuzushi by himself without needing to rely on luck."

"Very true, however you know as well as I do that it does not make him unbeatable." Waltz noted. "Should anyone use his weakness against him…"

"Then they would be too busy trying to clean up the area and getting the smell off their clothes to be occupied with doing anything to him. Honestly, what did you have to do to that bathroom after he got sick? Torn down twice, fumigated five times…" Shadow listed with her fingers.

"Six times, one of the people we hired was evacuated from the room and put in emergency care before he could start working; placed through eight anti-demon rituals, both religious and practical; blessed and cleansed by three priests; analyzed by a couple of cultist groups and scientists; and if I remember correctly, we also had a small tribe of Native Americans at one point do a ritualistic dance around the entire house to ward away the spirits that plagued the nose." Waltz sighed, grimacing at the memory of the results of Ghost's internal three month war.

"Damn, we should really hold that above his head one of these days." Shadow chuckled before sighing again. "Well, I'm still bored." She stated as she walked towards the door. "I'm gonna go to the shady part of the city and see if I can't find some prick in a gang to set on fire."

"You're going to do that horror movie Japanese school girl thing again?" Waltz asked, looking at her current attire.

Shadow smirked. "Yeah. I always get the best reactions when I do that. Nothing says imminent and cruel death more than an oddly dressed little girl with long dark hair covering her eyes and acting all cute. Damn, I love Japanese horror film makers."

"You know you're not Japanese… right?" Waltz asked.

Shadow wept anime style as she walked out the door. "I can dream…"

Waltz sighed as he looked at his paper again. "Ladies and gentlemen, the dream of the week." He grumbled to himself… just as a small water balloon popped over his head and showered him with napalm, setting him on fire nearly instantly.

Shadow chuckled as she watched Waltz run around the house and roll on the floor screaming his head off. "That is what you get for mocking me, non-believer." She then walked over to a nearby tree, cackling the entire time and slowly melded into its shadow. It was a unique experience, even for her, but it still beat public transportation any day.

o. o. o.

"So this is Konoha?" Zabuza mused as the group approached the giant wall surrounding the village.

"Yep." Naruto replied.

"That is an impressive wall." Haku stated. "Kiri is protected by thick mists and steep cliff sides, but the forests around Konoha and the wall also make adequate defenses."

"All hail the greatness that is the giant wall, constantly staying erect at a 90 degree angle for us lowly humans…" Ghost praised in a mocking tone, causing everyone to hold in a laugh.

"State your name and purpose for entering Konoha." Stated a random chūnin at the entrance.

"Kakashi Hatake and genin Team 7 returning from a mislabeled C-ranked mission from Wave, along with missing-nin Zabuza and Haku Momochi, who desire to join Konoha's forces, as well as Ghost Ōgakari, who is also returning from an S-ranked assassination mission."

The chūnin paused for a moment, staring at the group in awe before speaking. "I don't know what's more surprising, the Demon of the Bloody Mist wanting to join Konoha or Ghost Ōgakari actually using the main entrance to get back into the village for once."

"Hah!" Ghost smirked as he turned to the genin. "I told you. Pay up."

"Bastard." Growled Naruto as he took out his frog wallet.

"Hn." Grunted Sasuke as he produced 500 ryō.

"Lucky." Pouted Sakura.

"What was that all about?" asked the nervous guard to Kakashi.

"Hn? Oh, Ghost bet the genin that the guards at the main gate would say something about him actually coming in the normal way for once… and as you can see, he won."

Ghost smirked. "You see children, unlike the Legendary Sucker Tsunade, whose luck is _always_ in the pits when it comes to gambling unless something bad is about to happen, MY luck is like an unstable blind chipmunk on many, many drugs, meaning that one moment everything could be going my way, and the next I am being seduced by three overweight transvestites, oddly all named Bob, while tied up in a makeshift dungeon in one of their basements… only to escape seconds later, get them arrested and unknowingly gain a massive award for the aid in capturing three notorious rapist criminals. The lesson of the story, children, is that it is surprisingly difficult to find an overweight transvestite named Bob."

Everyone stared at Ghost in silence, sweatdropping profusely. "… Is there any chance that Haku and I could find somewhere else to…" Zabuza started to ask in a nervous tone.

"No." Ghost replied cheerfully.

"Er." Stumbled the chūnin guard. "I'll send word of your arrival to the Hokage. You guys just go straight to his office…"

"Thanks." Kakashi replied in an upbeat tone, appearing to have already purged the disturbing story from his mind. "Come on guys, we don't want to keep Hokage-sama busy now.

Zabuza snapped out of his funk to ponder what the upcoming meeting would be like. Hiruzen Sarutobi was one of the strongest shinobi to ever live, and from what he's heard from some of the veteran ninja in Kiri, one of the worst people to piss off. The Demon of the Bloody Mist was eager to talk with a man who had a kill count that could put his impressive list to shame.

o. o. o.

"I must say, I'm surprised to see this group of ninja together in my office." Chuckled the old man as he smoked his pipe and enjoyed the reactions on Zabuza's and Haku's face.

 _'This is the legendary Professor? He looks like some of the raisins that go to the retirement home!'_ Zabuza thought.

Hiruzen laughed as he looked at the mission reports. "Interesting. So. After Zabuza and Haku found out that Gatō was going to betray them, you secretly enlisted the aid of Kakashi without his team's knowledge and came up with a plan to take down the crime lord and his guards, unaware of Ghost's mission at the time to do the exact same thing…"

Haku replied for her master. "That is correct, Hokage-sama. We were tired of being on the run, and to be honest, Konoha seemed like the safest place to reside in while still maintaining our practice as shinobi."

The old man looked at Haku for a few moments, analyzing her and sending shivers down her spine. "Your name is Haku, correct? I read here that you have a bloodline. I am surprised and sorry that you experienced such atrocities in the Land of Water."

Haku nodded. "That is correct Hokage-sama. I have the hyōton bloodline, the ability to create ice by mixing wind and water elements together. I thank you for your apologies, but they are not necessary. You were not involved in the… purging…"

"Purging?" Sasuke asked curiously.

Zabuza sighed. "The Land of Water has had a lot of civil wars over the years, and people with bloodlines were normally in the thick of the main battles. When the fighting stopped, a good majority of the civilian population and some… others, started to blame those with bloodline limits as the cause of the fighting and started to act. Well, with the Kaguya clan showing up and attacking everyone in sight at the time, it was pretty hard to not blame them. Haku is the last of her kind, her dad killing her mother and then almost killing her when he found out that they carried bloodlines. I found Haku a few years later on some small bridge and decided to train her. Few years later, I tried to kill the Fourth Mizukage in order to stop the pointless killing and well, you all know how that ended up."

Sasuke was in temporary shock. Those people actually hated and despised bloodlines enough to hunt them down like animals?

"Makes you think, doesn't it?" Naruto asked Sasuke. "Even with your Sharingan, you wouldn't be able to handle wave after wave of angry villagers…"

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "Yes… of course. Sasuke, it says you activated your Sharingan during your fight with Haku-chan. Can you show me?"

Sasuke snapped out of his musings and gave a weak smirk as he activated his dōjutsu. Kakashi had been training him on turning it on and off during the rest of the time spent in Wave and their trip back, and now he could almost do it without much focus. He looked at the Hokage and revealed his red eyes with two marks in each.

"Two tomoe in each eye." Sarutobi mused. "Impressive. Now, you do realize that you are not to copy any of your allies' techniques, correct?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yes, Hokage-sama. I am well aware of the punishments that are still in place regarding Uchiha clan members and use of their Sharingan. I swear upon my clan name that should I use my Sharingan in combat against a fellow Konoha ninja, I will only use it to perform and dispel appropriate genjutsu and perceive attacks. I would be dirtying my clan honor if I were to take advantage of my allies' hard work and steal it for my own."

Sarutobi nodded as he looked further down the report. "A collaboration technique?" He mused as he read the description of what had happened. "Quite powerful, too…" He mused as he pretended to not notice Naruto and Sasuke giving each other confident smirks.

"Powerful?" Zabuza scoffed. "That damn technique nearly did the rest of the job for us and then some. Those two brats took out over 500 men in less than a minute. Even I can't pull something like that off. They probably would have wasted those ninja from Kusa and Gatō as well if the Uchiha wasn't beat from fighting Haku."

"Kusa-nin?" The old man asked curiously as he skipped down the report a bit.

"That is correct, Hokage-sama." Haku replied politely. "Many of Gatō's slaving partners had been assassinated…"

"By me." Ghost injected as he was inspecting several bookshelves on the side of the room.

"… and he was concerned that he may be next on the list, so he hired some ninja from Kusa to protect him constantly." Haku continued, ignoring Ghost.

"Why would Gatō hire you guys when he already had the Kusa-nin protecting him?" Sakura asked curiously.

Zabuza snorted. "Those three were hired for guard duty, nothing more, nothing less, hence their skills were focused on detecting and prevention, not killing without getting caught. Plus, the additional cost from a village for an assassination attempt on an old man who was trying to help his country would have been obscenely huge, easily around the cost of an S-ranked mission for a single ninja. For the price of an A-rank, he got me, Haku, and the Demon Brothers, so you can tell why we were picked instead."

Sarutobi read some more of the report. "Kuma? Isn't he a friend of yours from the war, Kakashi?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes. Kuma worked with Sensei's team several times during the third war, both before and after… the incident." He said slowly, making sure that the Hokage got the message.

The old man frowned slightly before continuing. "So after Naruto and Sasuke took out the mob of bandits, the three Kusa-nin appeared, preventing you from getting to Gatō. Kakashi fought Kuma, Zabuza fought the man known as Zurich, who also wielded a broadsword, and Naruto took on a poison specialist named Rika?"

"Don't remind me." Groaned Naruto. "Crazy woman first tried to seduce me, when she's nearly twice my age, then when I insult her she nearly tears my head off. Thank the Log I had type advantage over her… but even then, she wouldn't leave me alone 'til she left for home. I swear, I'm surrounded by perverts."

Sarutobi and several others in the room chuckled at the comment before Ghost spoke up. "Hey old man, I found this weird safe behind your bookshelf. I didn't know you read Icha-Icha…" Ghost cracked up and Kakashi smirked as they saw the reactions on everyone's faces. Haku, Sakura, and Sasuke looked at the Hokage with shock and disbelief, Zabuza just started at the man wide eyed, thinking to himself that he had just hit the jackpot of all ninja bosses, and Naruto just pointed and stared with wide eyes at the Hokage.

"I knew it!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs. "Gramps IS a pervert! I knew that your reaction to the Sexy jutsu wasn't a fluke!"

Sarutobi sweat dropped heavily as he noted that the two ANBU hidden in the room were trying their hardest to not burst out laughing at this. "Quiet, you brat…" He growled while twitching heavily. "Or else I won't take you out for ramen later."

Naruto paused for a moment before looking at the leader of Konoha inquisitively. "Your treat?"

Hiruzen sighed in defeat, knowing that by the end of the day his wallet would be significantly lighter, and that Teuchi would be proportionally happier. "Yes, Naruto, my treat." He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the looks everyone else were giving him. "Moving on. Your respective battles were coming to a close when Ghost appeared along with a heavily injured Gatō. Ghost performed a… modified big head technique… skipping along… big speech… fell off the bridge… ah, here we are, he then performed a technique just before almost getting attacked by Zurich that killed Gatō without any notification that the technique had been… completed." Sarutobi looked at Ghost. "This the new technique you were working on?"

Ghost smirked. "Yeah. Wind Style: War Scars. Only a person who can use the Seventh Sense can use this technique without killing themselves. It would be best to label it as an S-ranked Kinjutsu."

Sarutobi nodded. "Duly noted." He looked at the bottom of the report. "What did you do with Gatō's body?"

Ghost smirked as he tossed two scrolls to the old man. "One has the gremlin's body, the other has all the information that I thought would be too dangerous for anyone outside the shinobi world to know. Gatō was a busy little bastard these past few years…"

"Ghost-sensei, why did you disappear like that on the bridge?" Sakura asked. "Didn't you want to party with the rest of us and get credit for killing Gatō?"

Ghost chuckled. "Nah. If I did that, then there would be mixed feelings about what happened on the bridge, and the impact of what you guys did there would be nowhere near as influential as if they thought you did the job. Besides, the Kusa-nin know of my existence and part in the fight, and that's enough for now. Sometimes whispers in the shadows can have a bigger impact on one's reputation than what's shouted in the streets." He started to laugh darkly again. "I wonder if they'll put me in their Bingo Book. Oooh. What do you think my nickname will be? Maybe: Ghost of the Incredibly Awesome Awesomeness? Or Fantastically Sexy Ghost? ... oooooooh, how about…?"

"Moving on." Sweat dropped Sarutobi. "Team 7. Due to the dangerous nature of this mission, including going up against two chūnin level ninja, four special jōnin level ninja, and an elite jōnin level ninja, I am re-labeling this mission as an A-ranked mission, and it will be rewarded as such. We will send a messenger to Wave country and inform them that they must pay accordingly, but can do so in an appropriate amount of time considering the current state of their homeland." He turned to Zabuza and Haku. "Zabuza and Haku Momochi. You two are currently on the run from hunter-nin and Kirigakure as a whole. It will take time for you two to become instated as Konoha ninja, as there will be political repercussions for offering you two asylum. However, it will be done if you clear the interrogation session with Ibiki." He looked at Zabuza's and Haku's faces, noting that the two have more than likely heard of the man's reputation. "Don't worry, I will tell him to be gentle with you two unless you provoke him… so as long as you co-operate, there should be no issues. Now, about where you shall be staying…"

"They'll be staying at my place old man." Ghost sighed. "I desperately need some company at my place that isn't trying to rape me every other five minutes… you two won't try to rape me… will you?" Ghost asked fearfully as he backed up slowly.

"I'm straight…" Zabuza deadpanned.

"You're not my type." Haku replied instantly, causing everyone to give her a double take. "What?"

The tired Hokage coughed. "I believe that should be enough for now regarding the mission." He turned to the genin. "Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, you are free for the rest of the day. You all have had an exhausting experience. Get some rest."

"Yes, Hokage-sama." The three chanted before walking out the door, but not before Naruto turned around and saw the old man give him a small nod of reassurance before the door closed.

"ANBU." Sarutobi called out. "We are going to need some privacy. Please guard the door and make sure we are not interrupted unless it is of the highest urgency." There was no response as the two masked ninja hidden in the room quietly exited without ever giving a hint that they were in there in the first place. Hiruzen then activated his privacy seals and slumped in his chair. "So, you two are stuck in this damn time traveling fiasco as well, eh?"

Haku smiled gently. "As long as Kakashi-san doesn't put his hand through my chest or try to kill Zabuza-sama again, I don't really see much issue with our current predicament."

Kakashi sweatdropped. "I never thought you to be one to hold a grudge." He murmured.

"Hey, at least you weren't stabbed over three dozen times with an equal number of large sharp objects." Zabuza grumbled. "After becoming a dozen dogs' chew toy. Honestly, Kakashi, that pug of yours nearly bit my dick off."

Ghost laughed. "Oh yeah, I saw that. That looked like it hurt."

"Ghost, please be quiet or else I will send you on a mission to negotiate with the current Mizukage." Sarutobi growled, causing him to pale and crawl into the nearest corner.

"What…?" Zabuza asked confused.

"Naruto told me about Ghost's encounter with the woman with acidic powers as well." The old man grinned evilly. "It just so happens that the Mizukage is a rather attractive woman, and one of her bloodline limits enables her to be able to spit out large volumes of acid."

"Whyyyyy does it burrrrn sooooooo!?" Ghost wept, causing everyone to sweatdrop.

"Also, it seems that he came across said Mizukage during his travels outside the village. Apparently the rumors about her being rather… attracted, to affluent men were not stretched. Even though he managed to establish a secret connection between our two countries, she was rather… reluctant to let him leave. In fact, it's the main reason why I am not that hesitant in granting you asylum, knowing that we secretly have the Mizukage's approval to do so. Actually, I was told that she was interested in the both of you. She said she wanted to talk to Haku at some point since you both suffered the same experiences as children, and Zabuza because… well… you're single." Zabuza stood there in shock for a few moments before turning to Ghost in rage.

"You traitor!" He shouted.

"Don't blame me!" Ghost retorted, slightly recovered from his acid based flashback. " I needed a way to get the hell out of there, and to be honest you three would make a pretty decent, if a bit dysfunctional, family!"

"ENOUGH!" Sarutobi roared, getting everyone's attention. "We can play disturbed matchmaker later." He glared at the people in front of his desk. "Right now, we have more important issues to discuss…"

o. o. o.

"So, I've been meaning to ask, Naruto…" Sakura stated as the three walked through the village. "What's up with those chakra blades coming out of your wrists? You've never shown us those before."

Naruto sighed before shrugging and pulling back his sleeve to reveal his bracers. "These are my fox talons. Ero-nii got them for me a few months ago and they are awesome to say the least. I use my wind element manipulation to create blades at certain points of the bracer and the special chakra conducting mental does the rest." Naruto turned to his two teammates and briefly showed them the three blades he could produce with each bracer. "It took me forever to get the hang of them though. Believe it or not, it's a lot harder than you think to focus your chakra to make these blades actually work while fighting."

"So that's why you were spending so much time with Asuma-sensei." Sasuke mused, remembering the period when Naruto spent nearly every spare training period with the chain smoker. "Must have been pretty rough training."

"And the understatement of the year goes to Sasuke." Naruto chanted. "Teme, Ero-nii gave Asuma-sensei orders to not hold back on me in any way due to my healing factor, meaning I got slashed up by a jōnin repeatedly for weeks on end, only to practice healing myself and get slashed up some more. It wouldn't have been so bad if the bracers didn't have three damn separate blades. I had to practice every damn combination and form repeatedly. Even with my clones, it took me forever to get down. The end result: I'm good with my blades, and if I ever get captured, for better or for worse, they will have to think outside the box to get information from me, because cutting me to pieces won't work…"

"Disturbingly morbid thoughts aside," said Sakura, shivering unconsciously. "What do you guys want to do? We have the day off and we just got paid for an A-ranked mission…" They stopped to hear the chorus of all three of their stomachs gurgling in hunger. "I guess I know what we're doing first." She sighed.

"Ramen?" Sasuke asked Naruto, knowing well enough that the blonde was obsessed with the stuff.

Naruto smirked. "Nah. I'm gonna put off ramen for tonight when I try to eat the old man into bankruptcy. How about we go to that barbecue place that Chōji is always ranting about?"

"That actually sounds pretty good right about now." Sakura mused to herself.

"Why not?" Sasuke shrugged.

"Hey guys!" Shouted a familiar voice from down the street. The three turned around to see Team 10 walking down the road in the direction they were about to go, with Ino waving her hand. "When did you get back?"

"A little over an hour ago!" Sakura shouted back as the groups walked towards each other. "We were just about to go to that barbecue place that you guys keep going to!"

"What a coincidence." Chuckled Asuma. "We were just on our way there too. You guys wanna join up?"

"Sure. The more the merrier." Smiled Naruto, not noticing the looks that Ino, Chōji and Shikamaru were giving him.

"So what happened on your mission? You guys were gone for a while." Chōji mumbled between chips.

Naruto smirked as he looked over to Sasuke and Sakura, who were both having trouble keeping the smirks off their faces. "Oh boy, are you guys in for one hell of a story."

o. o. o.

Team 7 and 10 were sitting in said barbecue restaurant, waiting for their orders to arrive, however Team 10 could only stare at Team 7 in shock and awe as they tried to comprehend what they'd just been told. Neither team had cared to notice that half the people in the restaurant were listening in on their conversation as well.

"You guys took on an elite jōnin, four special jōnin, two chūnin and a huge mob of bandits? No way." Ino said in a dazed tone.

"Well, you have to remember that said elite jōnin and one of the special jōnin joined our side after a certain point." Sakura corrected.

"That's beside the point." Sighed Shikamaru. "Are you guys sure you aren't stretching the truth? Both Sasuke and Naruto managing to take out a special jōnin each? That's a bit hard to believe."

"We got lucky, that's all." Naruto shrugged. "Teme woke up his Sharingan just in time, and I fought against a woman who specialized in poison techniques, so we both managed to get our opponents by surprise." Naruto chuckled as he turned towards Sasuke. "Although teme ended up looking like a bad modern art piece at the end of your fight with all that metal in your body."

 _'And I felt like one, too.'_ Thought Sasuke. "Shut it dobe. You would too if you had to fight Haku in that damn ice technique of hers."

 _'Don't I know it.'_ Chuckled Naruto mentally. "I dunno, I think Sakura liked teme with all those… piercings. It gave her an excuse to touch you all over after the fight…"

"YOU BITCH!" Ino shouted at the top of her lungs as she jumped from her seat at a heavily blushing Sakura who was glaring at a hysterically laughing Naruto in betrayal.

"Ino, sit down." Grumbled Asuma as he tried to will his headache away.

"I'll get you for this." Grumbled Sakura under her breath.

"Here's your food." Said a waiter coming with their giant order or meat, vegetables and spices. "Please enjoy."

"Can and will." Answered back Naruto who was drooling at the sight of the meat in front of him, only to snap out of his delusion when he felt a challenging presence. The blonde looked up to see Chōji staring at him seriously. Naruto returned the glare with equal intensity, causing everyone in the room to sweatdrop.

"Be careful Naruto." Chōji growled dangerously while reaching for a pair of chopsticks. "This is my territory."

"Good." Naruto smirked as his hands closed around his pair. "I was looking for a challenge for once. Maybe you can actually give me one…"

"Oh boy." Groaned Asuma.

"Troublesome." Sighed Shikamaru.

"…don't you guys have to actually cook the food first?" Asked Sakura, snapping the two out of their food induced bloodlust.

"Oh… right." The two replied in unison, causing everyone in the restaurant to face fault.

"Battle delayed on the count of uncooked food?" Naruto asked.

"Agreed." Chōji replied sagely before both boys crossed their arms and continued to glare at each other with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.

"You might want to get another order ready." Sasuke whispered to the waiter. "Something tells me that the rest of us aren't going to be able to eat anything the first time through."

o. o. o.

"So here's where you guys will be staying until you want to get yourself a new pad." Ghost announced to Zabuza and Haku as he opened the door to the large home. "There's a couple of kitchens, couple of living rooms, a huge underground training area with all sorts of equipment, and plenty of bedrooms to choose from." Ghost listed, enjoying the reactions from his new guests as they took everything in.

"I'm sure I can leave you two alone in the house without worrying about anything, so I'll be getting some sleep. Bedrooms are on the second floor and in the basement. Pick any one you like aside from the rooms on the east side of the second floor. Those are my families' and my rooms. Other than that, eat what you like, sleep when you like, and just make sure not to do any lasting damage."

"Oh, one thing though. The security on the house is more complicated than you think, so if you leave the house, make sure that one of you is still in here, otherwise you aren't getting back in unless Naruto, Kakashi, a brat named Shikamaru Nara, or the two women who are constantly trying to rape me are with you or I wake up." Ghost sighed as he climbed up the stairs. "With that being said, I am off to the land of blissful unconsciousness. Night."

Ghost disappeared around a corner of the hallway as Zabuza and Haku looked around. They had entered through the front door to see a small closet on their left hand side and a large living room on their right, complete with a huge plasma screen television and several devices that they did not know how to operate. Further away from them was the stairway that Ghost had just gone up, as well as one of the kitchens which he claimed was full of food.

"Some host." Zabuza snorted. "He didn't even bother showing us around the place."

"He did seem rather tired, Zabuza-sama. I overheard him talking to Kakashi-san one night, something about having nightmares that keep on occurring. Perhaps there is something here that relaxes him enough to not have those visions…"

"Wuss." Mumbled Zabuza before the two heard a knock at the door. The two looked at each other nervously as the knocking repeated. "It ain't my house." He stated.

"I'm not getting the door." Haku stated.

"Janken?" Zabuza asked.

"One, two, three!" Haku said, showing that she had picked paper. Zabuza had scissors.

"Go forth, my tool, and do your master's bidding. Open the front door of horrors." Zabuza said in a mocking tone, enjoying Haku's reaction. "What? We're in the home of an insanely overpowered psycho of a man. Might as well act the part."

"We'll talk about this later." Haku growled as she opened the door to see two women carrying several large bags behind them.

"Erm. Hi." The purple haired kunoichi responded, more than likely confused as to why Haku opened the door. "Is Ghost home? We want to… erm… play… yeah."

"You two must be the ones that he said are constantly trying to rape him." Zabuza deadpanned as the two women blushed heavily. "… come right in then." He chuckled evilly. "I'm new in town. The name is Zabuza Momochi, and this is my adopted daughter and student Haku Momochi."

"Um… sure." Anko replied. "This is Hana Inuzuka and I'm Anko Mitarashi and… wait… Zabuza Momochi? As in THE Zabuza Momochi? Demon of the Bloody Mist and master of the Silent Killing technique Zabuza Momochi?" Anko's eyes started to glitter as she finally caught sight of the man's oversized sword. "Oh my god, I'm such a huge fan! I've looked at all your missions! Like that giant killing spree you did near the Waterfall village… oooh, or the time you took out those Suna ambassadors on their way to Kumo, or about the time you…"

"OOOOOooookkaay." Hana interrupted, grabbing a hold of Anko before she said anything else that she might regret. "We'll just check up on Ghost and then be on our way…" She started to drag the grumbling Anko up the stairs as Zabuza mused to himself.

"Anko Mitarashi, eh? Lucky bastard."

"You have heard of her?" Haku asked Zabuza.

The man nodded. "Word on the street is that she's the ditched apprentice of Orochimaru. Her temper is apparently as sharp as the kunai she throws, and she's supposedly a powerful summoner as well. I hear she's one of the few tree huggers here that is actually willing to do dirty work when the time comes, so she's earned quite a few points in my book…"

"She sounds like someone you could get along with…" Haku smirked.

"Um, guys?" Hana called out from the stairs. "Change of plans… Anko and I are going to be staying here for a while… just to let you know and all. We're not doing anything dirty… we're just gonna be… resting here for a bit…"

Haku and Zabuza looked at each other for a few moments.

"Do you want to just…?" Haku started.

"Yes." Zabuza replied, not really caring what Haku's suggestion was as long as he got out of the house.

o. o. o.

"What do you think happened to him?" Anko asked as she sat on the bed next to Ghost's very unconscious body, which was lying on the queen sized bed sideways on his stomach. His trench coat was strewn on the floor behind him, but the rest of his clothes were still on, and he was only halfway on the bed itself. It was obvious that he fell asleep in a matter of seconds from the position of his body.

"No clue." Hana mused as she checked his body with a diagnostic jutsu. "His body is completely wiped, though. It's like he hasn't had any sleep in weeks." She looked at the rest of him and saw something in his right hand. "What's that?" She pointed.

Anko took the small bottle out of his hand and looked at it. "Looks like a medicine bottle." She mused to herself. "I have no clue what this stuff is though." She shook the container and listened to the pills rattle inside.

"Give it to me." Hana asked with her hand stretched out. Anko shrugged and tossed her the bottle. Reading the label, Hana raised an eyebrow. "I think I know what these are." She mused. "They're meant to induce dreamless sleep, for people who suffer from constant nightmares…"

"Must have been one hell of a nightmare for Ghost to rely on this stuff to get to sleep." Anko mused as she positioned his body so that it was resting against hers on the bed. She caught the look Hana was giving her and pouted. "What? I'm not doing anything dirty to him; I'm just acting as his pillow." She then reached for his glasses. "Now to just take these off and… whoa, you weren't kidding when you said he was sleep deprived." Underneath his glasses, Ghost had extremely dark bags under his eyes, similar to a particular Suna jinchūriki, but not as distinct yet. "Wait, Ghost just got back here, right? Then who the hell got him these pills?" Anko asked.

Hana frowned as she looked at the bottle again when she saw a small scribble on the bottom right hand corner of the label that she managed to decipher "Seems like Scabbard was the one who made them." Hana mused. "Meaning that this isn't the first time Ghost has suffered from this, if he predicted that this would happen."

Anko was about to respond when she felt something wet on her chest. Initially she thought that Ghost was drooling on her, it wouldn't be the first time he's done that considering his head was right on her chest, but upon further inspection she saw that he was crying in his sleep and was mouthing something repeatedly.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry."

Anko looked at Hana sadly as she embraced his body and rested her head against his. "I don't think the pills were enough."

Hana silently nodded as crawled across the bed and embraced the unknowing man as well. After a few minutes he stopped crying and talking, but there was a small trembling that neither of the two women missed.

"We'll screw with his head later." Anko smiled as she closed her eyes, looking at the bags of toys and goodies the two had brought with them.

o. o. o.

Ghost woke up to feel himself held down by a pair of warm bodies. It took him a few moments to realize it was Anko and Hana from the way they breathed and their chakra signature and found that they were asleep. He sighed to himself as he relaxed himself again and rested against Anko's chest, full aware that his glasses were off and that the dreamless sleep pills that Scabbard had made for him weren't in his hand anymore. Since his hands weren't bound and he wasn't in some sort of odd costume, he guessed that the two women had decided to give him a break for once… also meaning that they were probably just going to do something else to him later.

For right now he was just content the way he was, resting with two beautiful women who cared about him… even if they were a bit scary at times. He had a feeling that he would actually get some decent sleep for once.

Now if only he could actually tell what their faces looked like. Once again, he mused to himself how much being blind sucked.

o. o. o.

"You two look like crap…" Kakashi thought out loud as he saw Zabuza and Haku drag themselves to the training grounds.

"Ugh. I feel like it too." Groaned Zabuza as he collapsed on the ground as soon as he reached the group.

"What happened?" Asked a curious Sakura.

"We left the Ōgakari clan compound to explore the village after Anko and Hana arrived…" Haku started.

"Nice excuse." Naruto chuckled as everyone stared at him. "What? I would have bailed out of the house too if Anko and Hana were alone in the room with Ero-nii as well. I have enough traumatic experiences under my belt as it is."

"Anyways…" Continued Haku in a tired tone. "We were smart enough to leave our equipment at the house, including our forehead protectors, but it wasn't long before we got lost."

"We spent half the night trying to find our way around the damn village, several hours trying to find the complex again, then we remembered that the bastard hadn't let us know how to get through the security system and no one was answering the door, so then we had to go all the way back into town and get lost again. Then we spent a while trying to find a decent place to eat that was open late. We found this nice ramen stand called Ika… Icha…"

"Ichiraku's." Naruto answered for them. "I eat there as often as I can, and I'm good friends with the owner."

"Thanks." Haku replied. "Anyways, after we ate, we tried to get back into the house… again. Didn't work… again, then we just started to look around the training grounds since we knew we were supposed to end up here this morning."

"UNFORTUNATELY…" Zabuza continued. "The grounds we ended up sleeping in was found by these two freaks with bowl cut hairdos and spandex training suits who were screaming about youth and doing this ridiculous training regimen. Before Haku and I could get away, the bastard somehow dragged us into his stupid training and we only just escaped." The famed assassin paused for a moment before noting the looks on his new allies' faces. "We're going to be working with them a lot, aren't we?"

"Oh yeah." Sakura replied.

"Big time." Sasuke muttered.

"Welcome to the pack." Kakashi eye smiled.

"Heheheheh. Suffer. SUFFER!" Chanted a way too eager Naruto.

"Hey guys. What's up?" Ghost called out as he was followed by Anko and Hana, all carrying a large crate of red rubber balls.

"We're telling them about our night in town after you apparently locked us out." Zabuza growled as Haku glared at him.

"They also got caught in one of Gai's and Lee's early morning workouts earlier today." Chuckled Kakashi.

"Ouch." Winced Ghost. "Sorry guys. I was seriously beat and I spent the entire time sleeping yesterday. To be honest, I haven't slept that great in years." Anko and Hana blushed slightly at that comment. "I'll show you two around town today and take you guys out to dinner at someplace nice. My treat."

"You better." Haku grumbled.

"Minion number Q, you're coming too." Ghost said to Naruto.

"Q isn't a number, Ero-nii." Naruto replied.

"Silence! It is a minion's job to yes his master, no matter how obscure or ridiculous his claims are!" Ghost shouted for no particular reason.

"What's with the balls, Ghost-sensei?" Sakura asked curiously.

Ghost chuckled evilly as he looked at the crate in his arms. "These are for your new teamwork exercises. I call it: Ninja Dodgeball." He started to laugh some more. "A word of advice, you might want to take the dodge part a bit more seriously than normal…"

"Why are Zabuza and Haku here anyway?" Sasuke asked curiously.

Kakashi eye smiled. "Since Zabuza and Haku are new to the village, they are not allowed outside for a small period of time. Until then, they will both be acting as additional teachers for the program in order to prove their loyalty."

Ghost chuckled as Sasuke and Sakura stared at the pair in shock. "Kids, say hello to your new assassination, kenjutsu, bloodline, and water style ninjutsu teachers."

o. o. o.

A/N.

I hate writer's block. It makes writing harder and it makes coming up with good stuff harder as well. Please don't hate me if this chapter is a bit subpar compared to my standard.

Meh. The next few chapters will be some plot development and stuff, and then it's on to the Chūnin Exams. YAY! Finally!

Polls are closed, and it looks like Friday is the winner. So I will continue to update on Fridays for now, but once again, it is subject to change given my schedule at school.

Still no pictures from anyone but my sister, but I'm in no rush really. Just send them when you think they are ready. I'm only doing character pictures, so no weapon pictures unless they are of extremely good quality. Sorry if I'm being picky, but considering that they are swords and a scythe, it shouldn't be that hard.

The next chapter shouldn't be as rough as this one. Sorry once again. Till then, may the lord protect you from the Demon Chicken of Doom, and should you encounter the fowl beast, pray that you don't have hair in the shape of a small bird's rear end.


	25. Insert random giggling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 25: Insert random giggling

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

1 month later:

"You are a sad and strange little man." Kurenai said out loud as she looked at the results of the latest 'dodgeball' game. The field that Teams 7 and 8 were once playing on was completely decimated, covered in paint, craters, feathers, powder, kunai, shuriken, confetti, and rubber ball bits. Lying in front of the woman were the exhausted remains of said teams, covered in a bit of everything mentioned above. Team 10 and Team Gai were out on C-ranked missions - this time with substitute jōnin supervising the teams so that the genin would have experience taking orders from various superiors, Gai with Team 10 and a jōnin named Genma leading Team Gai - so they were not there to join in on the… festivities.

"Good." Ghost replied cheerfully without a scratch on him. "Normal is boring and easy to predict, not something a ninja should be… or should they?" He asked in an overly energetic and mysterious way that didn't fool anyone.

"What the hell?!" Kiba groaned as he tried to pick himself up from one of the craters, Akamaru being unconscious and inside his sweater. "Why the hell couldn't we hit you?"

"I warned you, butt licker." Mumbled Naruto as he dragged himself across the ground, covered in several bright colors and smelling like rotten eggs. "If Ero-Nii claims that he won't get hit, you can bet your nonexistent common sense that he won't get hit. Trust me. I told you guys that the best we could hope for in our situation was to wait the game out and try not to get hit ourselves, but did anyone listen, nooooooooo."

"Argggg!" Sakura yelled as she rubbed her body against the ground while scratching herself. "I got hit with a damn itching powder ball again!"

"Can it, dobe." Growled Sasuke as he took out a few kunai stuck in one of his arms. "We fell for his trick and we're suffering for it."

"Even you have to admit that the award for defeating him was quite enticing." Shino breathed out as he attempted to clean his glasses and pretend he wasn't stuck in a rubber cement like goo.

"A conjoined upper C/lower B-ranked mission did seem a bit too good to be true." Mumbled Hinata as she rubbed her eyes, temporarily blinded by a chakra flashing ball several minutes earlier.

"Hey, it's not my fault you guys forgot to look underneath the underneath." Ghost grumbled. "Honestly, you could have won easily if you didn't provoke me."

"The hell are you talking about?" Kiba groaned. "We tried every tactic we knew, and we still lost. You're impossible to hit damn it."

"Did you try simply waiting for the timer to go off?" Ghost deadpanned, getting a sigh from Kakashi and Kurenai.

"What?" The Inuzuka questioned stupidly.

"Should have known." Moaned Naruto as he tried to place his body in a more comfortable position.

"Yes, it should have been apparent by the way Ghost-sensei was taunting us." Shino sighed in resignation.

"Log damn it." Grumbled Sasuke.

"We could have won by making sure we have more players on our side of the field when the time ran out." Whispered Hinata. "By taking the offensive against Sensei, we pretty much put ourselves in a dire position with very little chance of winning."

"Exactly." Ghost nodded, picking up one of the rigged rubber balls. "In fact, the only way you could have had a decent chance of winning the match was if one of the balls I was using was one of the ones rigged with a hidden timer while in my possession." Ghost tossed the ball he was holding up and down several times. "You could have easily won if you had kept your heads on and waited, but you still made the mistake of trying to take me down directly." Ghost noted that Shino, Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke were glaring at Kiba, who started the whole fiasco in the first place. Suddenly, the ball he was holding blew up in his face and thick black goo covered the man. Ghost licked his lips and smiled like a child, completely ignoring the fact that he was covered in a sticky solution. "Chocolate sauce. Sweet."

"It's nice that there was another hidden meaning to this damn challenge and all, but I'm going to jump in the river now." Sakura declared as she jumped up and made a mad dash towards the stream across the training fields.

"Oi Kurenai, Kakashi, Hana, Anko! What do you guys think?" Ghost called out to the other instructors before imitating a cat and licking himself all over to get more chocolate sauce in his mouth.

"Despite the oddity of the situation, I believe that they performed quite well under pressure aside from young Kiba's brash behavior." Kakashi said while reading his book. "You really should fix that Kurenai, Hana."

"Humph." Hana grumbled. "Don't blame me. Self-control was always one of the hardest things for Inuzuka males to learn. The issue is trying to get the idiot to learn that he's not the damn alpha in the pack."

"I am rather quite impressed with your student's progress, Kakashi." Kurenai mused. "Sakura's skills in genjutsu are very impressive, Sasuke's raw talent in almost every field is staggering, and Naruto has become quite a tactician and assault specialist." The genjutsu mistress nodded in satisfaction. "Anko, what do you think… Anko?" Kurenai turned to where Anko once stood, only to be greeted by air.

"Uh guys? Help?" Ghost whimpered as he gained everyone's attention again.

"Oh yessss. You are now my giant sized dango stick. Let me lick the delicious sauce off of you…" Anko purred as she started to lick a slightly frightened Ghost everywhere, including areas that weren't touched by the chocolate sauce. Needless to say, everyone watching was blushing to some extent.

"Damn it Anko!" Hana shouted as she stomped up to the pair in rage, getting everyone's attention. "Can you at least let me know when you are about to do something kinky to Ghost so I can at least prepare?!" Everyone face faulted.

"Sis?" Kiba whispered in shock and fear.

"And people wonder why I run away from my fangirls." Sasuke grumbled to himself.

Shino raised an eyebrow.

Naruto was speechless and red with irritation, which was understandable given his views on open perverts.

Hinata on the other hand was letting her imagination run wild again and hiding another massive nosebleed.

The other jōnin sensei just shook their heads and sighed. They really shouldn't be surprised by this… but they were yet again.

"Damn it you two!" Ghost shouted, getting everyone's attention. "How many times do I have to tell you that overly kinky activities are strictly restricted to the confines of either Anko's apartment or one of the designated rooms at my place for the purpose of not scaring the general public more than it needs to be?! For crying out loud, Hana, do you know how much of a turnoff it is having a bunch of 12 and 13 year olds watching you while you try to get your groove on? Let alone your little brother!" Ghost grumbled as he walked towards the same river that Sakura ran to. "I'm gonna wash up and then check up on Haku and Zabuza to see how their training is going. Hopefully they at least have a good idea on how chakra hops work by now, if they can't do them." Ghost sighed before jumping ninja style into the nearby river and making a huge splash next to Sakura.

"This would have been so awesome if it weren't for the fact that my sister is joining in on this." Kiba wept to himself as everyone listening sweat dropped.

"Excuse me…" Asked a new voice, gaining everyone's attention. "Where may I locate Ōgakari-sama? I have a message for him."

o. o. o.

Haku and Zabuza were exhausted and nearly out of chakra. They had spent the entire day trying to do chakra hops properly, only to either not budge at all or end up flying in the air and land painfully on the ground. Haku had managed to find the range of balance of power and control she needed to perform the exercise, but Zabuza was still having trouble getting it down.

"Hey guys. You get the general idea of how the hops work yet?" Ghost called out from the river as he dried himself off with a strong wind.

"I have." Haku managed to breathe out. "Zabuza-sama still needs a bit of work, though."

"Too much and I end up a mangled corpse on the damn ground, too little and jack shit happens. It's like the other exercises except these can fucking kill you! Why the hell can't I get this?" Zabuza growled to himself, also fairly breathless.

"You guys want a tip?" Ghost smirked as he walked towards the two completely dry.

The two glared at him. "Yes, we would like a tip that would have saved us much time and misery had we have been given it at the beginning of our training." Zabuza retorted sarcastically.

Ghost shrugged. "Since you asked so nicely…" He sat down. "… instead of trying to get to your intended height from the get go, don't be scared to go nuts with the chakra to get a good feel about how high you get with that particular amount and concentration. Then when you get used to it, reduce the chakra and repeat. Once you get used to the amount of chakra you're using, try to get varying heights with the same amount of chakra, but different levels of concentration and focus. That is the entire point of this exercise, to not only train you on the various amounts of chakra you can release at whim, but to train you on how well you can focus the various levels as well, making it significantly more beneficial to augmenting your skills compared to the water walking and tree climbing exercises."

"And you couldn't have told us this before because…?" Zabuza asked with a rampant twitch in his eyes.

"Because it's your turn to suffer my training program!" Ghost said cheerfully. "If I went easy on you guys, the others would think I'm playing favorites, and we can't have that now, can we?"

"We can get back at him later, Zabuza-sama." Haku breathed out. "It's not like we can continue our training now anyways…"

"Your brother better upgrade the living shit out of my sword when he gets here." The shirtless wonder threatened. "Otherwise your house is gonna become a flooded and frozen wonderland overnight."

"… But it's the middle of summer…" Ghost replied in a childish tone.

The two just stared at the man in disbelief as he went on with a childish expression on his face. "If I weren't so damn tired, I would gut you." Commented Zabuza.

"Heard that before." Sniggered Ghost.

"Oi Ero-nii! You got a message!" Naruto shouted as he ran towards the three followed by a Hyūga branch member, gaining all of their attention.

"This is new." Ghost muttered as he got back up.

The pair closed onto the group. "You are Ghost Ōgakari, correct?" The branch member asked curiously, but with all the formality that was expected from a Hyūga.

"Yeah, I am." Ghost replied curiously. "How can I help you?"

The branch member bowed. "Ōgakari-sama, you are invited to the Hyūga household by Hiashi-sama in one week's time for dinner in order to increase relations between our clans. Can we expect you to be able to join us?"

Ghost raised an eyebrow in curiosity, as well as everyone else present before sighing and smiling. "I have a couple of things to ask before I give my answer. First, am I to assume that the dinner will be semi-formal? To be perfectly honest, I am not that comfortable in uptight situations."

The Hyūga nodded. "Hiashi-sama has assumed as much. As long as you are in somewhat appropriate attire, there should be no issue Ōgakari-sama."

Ghost nodded. "Good. Next thing… food… um… just to let you guys know beforehand, I have a bad history with eastern cuisine… don't ask why, you don't want to know. Would it be possible for you guys to maybe…"

"Is eating eastern food really that much of a big deal?" Whispered Haku to Naruto.

"I had to fumigate my bathroom twice in order to get the smell out the last time we tried to get him to eat stir-fry." Naruto whispered back, causing the missing-nin pair to pale drastically.

The Hyūga nodded again. "Of course, Ōgakari-sama. I will inform our chefs to prepare western style cuisine for you prior to your arrival."

"Thanks, but this brings me to number 3: please don't refer to me as Ōgakari-sama. It makes me feel old." ' _Technically I am old as hell, but that's beside the point.'_ "Just call me Ghost or Ghost-san… or you could be creative if you wanted to, but please leave out the -sama and the Ōgakari. The only time I'll let that kind of thing pass is if I'm dealing with a major business deal or if it's extremely important that I keep my mouth shut."

The branch member blinked a few times before fumbling on his words. "O-of course, Ghost-sam… er… san."

Ghost shrugged, "It's a start. You'll get used to it eventually. That's about… wait, one more thing." The man smirked as he turned to Naruto. "Please tell Hiashi that I'm going to bringing my apprentice along with me. It would be a great lesson for him when it comes to dealing with nobility and formal situations, and since he wants to be the Hokage, this will be an excellent introduction. Tell him that he has permission to kick out Naruto at any time he desires if the idiot does something stupid or disrupts something important, but I will be bringing him regardless."

"I have a bad feeling about this." Naruto mused to himself.

The branch member blinked a few times before nodding slowly. "I… I will inform Hiashi of your request. Should I expect you to be at your clan compound later so I can give you his response to your requests?"

Ghost shrugged. "Sure."

"Then I bid you farewell, Ōga… I mean Ghost-san." The branch member bowed before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Oi, Naruto. Did Hinata cover table-manners, how to act near nobility and all that crap?" Ghost asked after he made sure that the branch member was gone.

"Yeah, we went over all that stuff a while ago." Naruto replied.

"How much of that crap do you actually remember…?" Ghost asked with a raised eyebrow.

Naruto sweat dropped as everyone else watching him deadpanned. "Er… most of it?"

"I'll take that as a no." Ghost sighed. "Okay. I'll get Hinata to give you a week long refresher course… actually, Haku, you'll help out as well since you probably handled the more sensitive situations on the road with Zabuza."

"Why you little…" Zabuza growled as Haku held in a small giggle.

"Dude, you wield a huge ass sword, kill people for a living, have an incredibly short temper, and you barely even thanked Ero-nii for giving you a second chance at life. It's a bit obvious that Haku is the one that has the finesse in your group." Naruto deadpanned, completely ignoring the killing intent that the demon was aiming at him before pausing a moment. "We may have a small problem, Ero-nii. I don't have any formalwear aside from my funeral clothes."

"Well then we'll just have to go get some, now won't we?" Ghost sighed as he started walking back to the rest of the genin and jōnin. "Zabuza, Haku, remember, for now you two are training in chakra control, reserves, elemental manipulation, and physical conditioning. You can stop with the chakra based training for now and start your conditioning. The gravity seals I placed on you have been recently increased, so you have to get used to them again. Haku, in your spare time, keep on trying those suggestions I brought up. You have technique, speed, and skill, but you have no power or fast and strong defenses just yet, and the ice element is a natural conductor for such skills. M.C. Hammer, you try out my suggestions as well; your sword is going to get a massive upgrade soon, and I want to make sure that your skills increase by that much as well."

Ghost smirked as he walked across the field, enjoying the reactions of the pair who had nearly completely forgotten that Ghost was actually competent when he wanted to… and the fact that Zabuza hated being called M.C. Hammer.

o. o. o.

"Should we act?" Whispered one elder. "It would be the perfect time…"

"No…" Replied the leader immediately. "We want the new seal. Also, we don't know what he's done to the Kyūbi's seal. Should we be too hasty, we could cripple the clan and not get what we desire. For now, we will just wait and observe… this is an excellent chance to find out more about them. Their existence is still a mystery to the village…"

o. o. o.

"So I heard that Ghost and Naruto are eating at the Hyūga compound in a few days." Asuma said to Kurenai as they walked through town on one of their 'not' dates.

"Please don't remind me." Kurenai sighed as she rubbed the sides of her head. "It's all Hinata's been talking about lately, and it's driving both of us insane."

"You worry too much." Asuma commented. "Even though both of them are a bit eccentric at times, they know when to toe the line. Heck, I've spent almost as much time with Naruto as my own team over the past few months, and I can tell you that kid is more collected than you think. Sure, he'll never pass for a Hyūga, not that anyone really wants to, but he's a lot better at keeping that ramen consuming dark hole shut when he needs to than before."

"Yeah, but that still doesn't rule out the fact that both of them will do something brash and or stupid while they're there." Kurenai countered as she playfully nudged Asuma. "And if something bad does happen, how do you think Hinata will take it? They'll probably ban her from seeing Naruto again. She'll probably end up a nervous wreck afterwards…"

Asuma chuckled. "Do you really think that would stop those two from seeing the girl?" The man rested his arm around the woman's shoulders. "You have nothing to worry about. From what my old man's told me, Hiashi's quite the secret supporter of the Ōgakari clan, even before Scabbard appeared. I doubt the man would make a full 180 due to their behavior, which I know they will reign in a bit at the dinner. Now calm down and relax. I didn't go through all that trouble of reserving a spot at that fancy restaurant you like just to hear you panic and worry. Smile… you look beautiful when you do that…"

Kurenai sighed as she leaned up against her new boyfriend. "You're right. It's just that everything's been going so quickly lately and I'm having trouble keeping up." She gave the bearded man a peck on the cheek. "I'm glad that I said yes to our little date, though. You really know how to spoil a girl… you should really stop smoking, though."

"Don't I know it." Mused the bearded man as he puffed out another cloud.

o. o. o.

"You ready?" Ghost smirked as he and Naruto stood in front of the Hyūga compound. Ghost was dressed in khaki dress pants with hybrid sneaker/shoes, a black silk short sleeved button up shirt with white lines and a white shirt underneath, and kept his black gloves and glasses.

"As much as I'll ever be." The younger of the two sighed. Naruto on the other hand was in a black kimono with an orange tall grass design along the bottom and along the sleeves. Underneath it all, the boy still wore a casual t-shirt, loose pants, and his fox talons. Ghost and Naruto had picked that one out almost instantly when they were shopping earlier that week, and they both had to admit to themselves once more that the kid could pull off dark colors like no one's business.

"I bet you that Hinata's gonna pause and stare at you for a few good seconds the moment she sees you dressed like that." Ghost sniggered.

Naruto returned the smirk. "Even Baa-chan wouldn't take that bet, Ero-nii."

"Greetings Ōgakari-sama, Uzumaki-sama." Spoke a female branch house member from the main doorway as she bowed. "We have been awaiting your arrival."

Ghost and Naruto bowed in unison. "I hope you haven't been waiting for us for too long outside, ma'am." Ghost replied with a grin. "It's pretty humid tonight and I doubt anyone wants to be outside for long periods of time right now."

The branch member smiled. "You do not have to worry, Ōgakari-sama. I have only been outside for but a few minutes. Besides, I normally work in the kitchens, so this does not bother me as much as you think."

"Please, call me Ghost, or at least Ghost-san. I'm not really one for formalities." Ghost chuckled before pointing to Naruto. "You can call him Minion number Q."

"Oi." Naruto grumbled as he glared at the chuckling man, ignoring the fact that the branch house member was cracking a smile.

"I'll just call you Naruto-san." The woman giggled. "Please follow me."

"So how is this going to work?" Ghost asked as the three walked through the grounds. "Are we going straight to the dinner, or are we going to get a tour of the compound, or…"

"We will be heading to one of the larger meeting rooms in the compound." Replied the guide in a bit of a controlled voice. "It serves as both a meeting room and a dining room when we are dealing with important guests and large groups."

"Large groups?" Naruto repeated with an arched eyebrow. "I know that Ero-nii is important, but I thought it was just going to be a small and private dinner between a few elite members of your clan and us."

The woman shook her head. "This time is different. Hiashi-sama thought that Ghost-san would be uncomfortable with eating only with himself and the elders, so he decided to include several other members of the Main and surprisingly the Branch house as well, despite the elder's protests…" She frowned a bit, showing her worry about the situation.

Ghost chuckled. "Both the Branch and Main houses eating together, huh? Interesting…" Naruto frowned as Ghost commented on the situation. He had been around the man long enough to know that he was pondering the situation and was somehow not surprised something like this was happening, as if he had been told something by Hiashi… meaning that the two men were in the middle of something big regarding the Hyūga clan.

 _'What are you planning, Ero-nii?'_ Naruto frowned as they walked through a set of doors and took in the sight in front of them. Roughly 40 Hyūga sat along either side of a large table with Hiashi seated at its head, Hinata seated between him and her sister and his other side empty, which was more than likely where Ghost and Naruto were to sit. The two guests smirked as they saw Hinata's reaction to Naruto's current attire, which thankfully was not noticed by anyone else as they were busy taking in the pair's appearance as well. The half of the table nearest to Hiashi was occupied by the main house members though, and the farther half was hence occupied by the branch house members. Along one side of the room, there were a few musicians with various instruments. Unsurprisingly, all of them were Branch house members, including Neji.

"Hey Hiashi-san." Ghost replied cheerfully, breaking the tension almost instantly without a care in the world. "What's up? Is everything doing all right? Things seem a bit tense in here."

Naruto face palmed as several of the elders twitched in aggravation. Hiashi just sighed. "Hello, Ghost-san. Thank you for joining us for dinner. I must admit, I am a bit surprised that you decided to bring Uzumaki-san and willingly dressed formally."

Ghost shrugged. "The kid learns quickly when he needs to, and is pretty good at making things up on the fly. He should be able to behave himself during the meal, and if he isn't, you can kick him out, easy as that." The man nudged the increasing irritated boy.

Naruto stumbled for a moment before sighing and bowing deeply. "Thank you very much for having me over for dinner tonight, Hiashi-sama. I am looking forward to learning from you and your clan so that I may further my studies so that I can reach my dream." Hiashi raised an eyebrow in surprise and Hinata nodded and smiled at the performance.

"As for my clothes… I simply like dressing casual more than formal. It's more comfortable in my opinion. Easier to breathe. It doesn't mean I can't dress the part when I have to." Ghost shrugged as he made his way to the end of the table, followed by Naruto.

"I am surprised that Uzumaki-san is so well mannered." Hiashi commented, looking at the boy and his slit eyes. "I have heard about his behavior, both before and after your arrival, and I must say that this is not exactly what I expected."

Naruto smiled. "You can thank Hinata-chan for that. She helped teach me proper etiquette and behavior when dealing with nobility. She's a very good teacher and really patient…"

"It also helps that it only took one of her stronger jūken strikes for her to instill fear into you and make sure you don't piss her off again." Ghost chuckled as he sat down, causing Naruto to grumble, Hinata to blush and everyone else to raise their eyebrows.

"Is this true, Hinata?" Hiashi asked curiously.

"Ermm." Hinata fumbled. "Yes, Father, but to be honest I was having a tiresome day and I may have lost my temper a bit at Naruto-kun…"

 _'So you define a tiresome day as one where I train you into the ground and mock your infatuation with Naruto, WHILE it was that time of the month for you?'_ Ghost thought disbelievingly.

"On the plus side, I at least now know what to expect if someone from your clan nails me." Naruto shrugged. "Thankfully my healing managed to patch me up in a few seconds, but damn did that hit hurt."

"You can heal a jūken strike?" Asked one elder in a bit of a concerned tone.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, though it takes more chakra to do than a normal wound. Hinata and I even experimented a bit after she managed to start seeing those tenket… things."

"Tenketsu." Sighed Ghost.

"Yeah, those. Anyways, Hinata-chan and I started to experiment with them."

Hiashi rose an eyebrow in curiosity. "How so?"

"Erm…" Naruto fumbled as he looked at Hinata worriedly. The girl slacked her shoulders in defeat, knowing that they might as well let everyone know and nodded. "Well, Hinata-chan would kind of use me as a sort of a test dummy to see what pressing tenketsu in various orders and locations would do… and I would sort of get training re-opening them in case they were ever closed. We found some interesting things…"

"What!" Shouted several elders.

"You can re-open closed tenketsu?!"

"Preposterous!"

"Impossible!"

"Hold it!" Ghost shouted, gaining everyone's attention. "Instead of crying about it, why don't you just test it right here? It doesn't exactly require a training ground to do." Ghost turned to Hinata and Naruto. "Hinata, Minion, if you would please show to our friends here your abilities?"

Hinata and Naruto sighed and nodded as the blonde got up and walked towards the shy girl, who activated her dōjutsu and hit four specific points on his arm in rapid succession, resulting in a limp arm. Several mumbles echoed in the room as the owners discussed what the girl had just done. Hiashi was rather impressed that his daughter had found such an efficient application of their Jūken. What Hinata had found was not unheard of, but it was extremely rare for someone to find the correct combination and order of points to completely shut down a body part and induce large scale paralysis in as few hits as possible.

What he saw next was more impressive however, as he saw Naruto's chakra swell up in his arm and force the chakra that Hinata had used to plug his tenketsu out of his system and heal any damaged areas in his arm. Such a process was unheard of, and Hiashi saw that more than one elder was unnerved by the display of power and chakra control in the boy.

"Please tell me that you all saw that. It really hurts to have my tenketsu shut down, and it hurts more to pop them back open like that." Naruto groaned as he massaged his arm and Hinata apologized for hurting him.

Hiashi blinked. "… Impressive. I must admit that I did not expect you two to be able to come up with such a use for your conditions…"

"We were not aware that Hinata-sama could see tenketsu." Grumbled one elder in a disbelieving tone. "It seems that she has come far under your tutelage…"

Ghost raised an eyebrow. ' _It seems as if they don't know about Hinata's fight with Neji. Judging by everyone's expressions, only Neji, Naruto, Hinata, and Hiashi know about that day.'_ "I can't take all the credit. Kurenai worked wonders with the girl and blondie here makes the atmosphere during training quite… positive. You'd be surprised what an enforcing environment can do to a person's potential."

Hiashi nodded. "Very true." He turned to Naruto again. "I heard about your first C-rank mission Naruto… or should I call it an A-ranked mission? I must say I am curious. The reports claimed you defeated a special jōnin from Kusa…" Everyone had their attention on the blonde now. Even Neji was curious about the specifics about the mission, but his pride prevented him from asking directly.

Naruto sweated heavily. "Erm… it wasn't that much of a big deal. I just happened to have the type advantage over her and used it to my advantage and got lucky."

"Stop downplaying yourself." Ghost sighed. "I was there too, remember? You played that chick like a Suna puppet master and beat her after taking only two small hits… true, she was a poison user, but still."

"If you don't mind, I think we would like it if we heard the entirety of the battle." One elder grumbled.

"Of course Hyūga-sama." Naruto replied. Naruto and Ghost then told the group about their mission, minus the time traveling information bits and Ghost's new technique. The listeners were quite impressed with Naruto's battle tactics and techniques, as well as confused as to how Ghost could be an assassin at all, let alone an efficient one. Just as the story was finished, the food was served and the musicians started to play.

"Ah. Food. It smells delicious, Hiashi. Give my compliments to the chef." Ghost laughed as he was served an intricate pasta dish with various meats and sauces.

Hiashi smiled as the meals were served to everyone. "With pleasure Ghost-san. I must say, while your training methods are questionable, your results are beyond impressive. Have you taught before?"

Ghost nodded as his mouth was stuffed with food. "I occasionally help out others who have my interest, but the kid here is one of the best I've taught so far. He just doesn't stop training. He's already as physically strong as I am and his reserves are at least four times as big as mine."

Hiashi's eyes widened. "That is… impressive. Are you not afraid he will let such facts go to his head?"

Naruto shuddered after swallowing a bite of his food. "No way. The second my head starts to get too big, Ero-nii pounds me into the ground without mercy. I've learned my lesson, thank you very much."

Hiashi looked at Ghost. "He has such advantages over you, but you can still defeat him with such little effort?"

Ghost chuckled. "The brat's good, but I'm among the best. It's okay to gloat every once in a while. The key is to not take it seriously, otherwise it tends to take root and give birth to a bijū sized ego. Being truly humble to others, even those who are beneath you, can do wonders for a person's personality."

Hinata decided to jump into the conversation. "It's true, father. Ghost-sensei is very skilled, agile, and fast. Just today, he took on two of our genin teams at once in a mock battle and we could not even hit him once…"

"It comes naturally after evading an enraged sister enough times. Enough about me and the kids though, how are things on your end Hiashi?" Ghost asked before eating some more food.

Hiashi blinked a few times before sighing. "It could be better. There is much paperwork involved in running a clan and being a member of the village council. You would not believe the worthless proposals that are suggested by the civilian council. Diplomacy is a great thing, but sometimes the masses are simply unaware of how things are done and are blinded by their own prejudices and beliefs."

"You're preaching to the choir." Grumbled Naruto before taking another bite of his meal, causing several people who had heard his comment to fumble a bit.

"Did you say something, Uzumaki-san?" Huffed one of the more ignorant elders and causing more people to quiet themselves.

Naruto frowned before turning to said elder and putting on his fake grin, causing Hinata to frown a bit. "No Hyūga-sama, I didn't say anything. You must be mistaken."

The Hyūga elders frowned for a moment, but before he could respond, Hiashi spoke up. "There is no need to get agitated, elder, Naruto is quite within his right to say what he did, though he was a bit blunt. I trust you will be a bit more careful with your choice of words, Naruto-san?"

Naruto blinked a few times to comprehend that Hiashi had just defended him in front of his entire clan… albeit indirectly. The boy took a few moments to stare at Hiashi and try to read anything from his posture and expression, but of course it proved to be futile seeing as he was trying to read the leader of the Hyūga clan. Mentally sighing to himself and cursing that he let his tongue slip, the boy bowed. "My most sincere apologies Hyūga-sama. I let my temper get the best of me and let my tongue run wild. Should you see it fit, I shall leave the clan compound."

Hiashi stared at the boy in surprise, as did everyone else in the room. Ghost turned his head from Naruto to Hiashi and back several times before leaning forward and turning to Hinata. "Damn Hinata. What the hell did you and Haku do to him? I told you two to give him a refresher course in manners, not completely whip the poor kid."

Hinata panicked. "I… that is… um…"

"Hinata-chan tried this new genjutsu on me to make me learn proper manners faster after I told them that I had enough jūken strikes and senbon to sensitive areas of my body." Naruto answered, causing everyone to sweat drop. "It apparently worked better than anticipated… though holding my tongue is not exactly something I am comfortable with."

Silence filled the room as everyone's attention was on the very much embarrassed Hinata. Ghost spoke up first, with a sick grin on his face. "You have him completely whipped, don't you? Now that I think about it, you HAVE been spending most of your training sessions with Anko and Hana lately…"

Hinata could not say anything as her lungs had failed her and her face was completely red.

"Damn it Ero-nii!" Naruto shouted. "Stop making fun of Hinata-chan already! We're only kids, there's no way that she would have those kinds of thoughts, let alone about me of all people, right Hinata-chan?" Naruto looked at Hinata, who had somehow finally managed to blush her way into unconsciousness, something she had not done since her initial training with the blonde.

Naruto saw this and immediately reacted in the most efficient manner. He jumped up, ran towards the unconscious girl and felt her forehead. "Hinata-chan! What happened?! Are you sick? Was the food bad? It was pretty humid outside…" Predictably, everyone watching sweat dropped as the boy panicked like an idiot. Ghost sighed as he whispered something into Hiashi's ear. The clan head nodded and turned to the blonde. "Uzumaki-san. It appears that my daughter is a bit under the weather right now. Could you perhaps take her to her room? Neji will accompany you."

Naruto paused for a few moments before nodding and carefully picking the small girl up bridal style, and trying to ignore the fact that she almost instantly snuggled into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Thank you Hyūga-sama, I'll be right back. Oi Neji. Can you tell me where Hinata-chan's room is?"

Neji sighed as he stood up and walked to Naruto. To be perfectly honest, the boy was a bit unnerved with the situation and being alone with Naruto and Hinata was in his opinion much more manageable. "Of course Naruto-san. Please follow me."

As the three exited the room, Ghost stood up suddenly with a serious expression on his face, unnerving most of the people in the room. "I apologize for my rude behavior, but I have been meaning to do this ever since the dinner had started and cannot restrain myself any longer…"

o. o. o.

"So… Neji…" Naruto stalled as he was led through the clan compounds. "What's up? I never really got to talk to you during our training and all."

Neji sighed. He had noticed that many of reactions that the other genin seemed to have around the blonde. Something about him and his teacher seemed to change people… make them stronger in a way. He was certain that Hinata was one of the more prominent examples of this theory, and decided to give the kid a shot, just to see what would happen. "My current situation is… confusing, Naruto-san. Things are changing for me… and it is taking me time to get used to them." He muttered cryptically.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Well, we're ninja, so change shouldn't be much of a problem…"

Neji shook his head. "It's a bit more personal than that. Things that I had assumed were absolute from birth are being questioned, and I am pondering if I may have made some mistakes in how I should see things…"

Naruto nodded as he shifted Hinata into a more comfortable position. "Ah. I see. I can relate." Neji looked at the boy curiously. "I found that the best way to deal with stuff like that is to find someone to talk to, someone precious to you, one that you can trust with all or most of your secrets without worrying about them changing their view on you. It's better to let all out as soon as possible, otherwise it ends up eating you from the inside out and drives you nuts. Trust me on that."

Neji paused for a moment and tried to think of someone that fit that description. Lee was definitely out. The boy was the closest thing he had to a best friend, but he was simply too loud and honest to be trusted with that kind of information. Gai was out too since he was exactly like Lee, albeit a bit more mature, and he was also obligated to tell his clan about his progress. Then there was Tenten… who he couldn't honestly find a decent excuse to not trust… "You're not going to ask me what my problems are?" Neji asked curiously as he opened the door to Hinata's room.

Naruto shrugged. "If you wanted to tell me about it, you would have told me already, although I would first be asking myself as to why you are telling me these things when we only barely know each other while you have an entire team to talk to. I learned from personal experience not to push for answers from people unless it was truly eating someone from the inside out and causing them to do stupid things, like blaming people for things that were beyond their control, or assuming that everything is predetermined." Neji flinched.

"The world is an extremely confusing place. Sometimes it's simple and other times it's complicated and confusing as all hell. It's best not to think about how to change or control thing and just go with the flow. The key is to remember that you can always go in a different direction. It'll be harder to do so, but it's never impossible." The blonde then laid Hinata down on her bed and smiled before sweating a little.

"This right here is a prime example. Hinata-chan currently has my head in her possession. I could go the easy way out and wake her up to get her off me, but that would be mean. I could also simply be lazy and rest in the bed with her since I don't want to wake her up, but that in turn would almost certainly get me killed by Hiashi. I could go on and on, but I'll just get to the point: Neji, can you please get your cousin off of me? Her grip… is… getting… tighter… air…" Naruto was starting to struggle to breathe as Hinata unconsciously gripped the blonde's head tighter.

"Mmmm… Naruto-kun… you're soooo good…." She mumbled in her sleep, causing both boys in the room to sweatdrop.

"Help." Naruto rasped out with an arm stretched out to the blinking branch house member.

Neji sighed as he pressed a few select minor tenketsu on Hinata's arms so that her death grip on him weakened considerably. Naruto quickly escaped from the girl and breathed heavily. "We speak of this to no one." The blonde said seriously as soon as he got his breathing under control. Neji sighed again as he nodded.

"Agreed. Hiashi-sama and the elders would be most displeased if word of this got out…" Neji stated. The two looked at each other for a few moments before giving Hinata one last look and exiting the room to go back to the party. "So you are aware that Hinata…" The white eyed boy started.

"Likes me? Yeah." Naruto sighed, getting a raised eyebrow from Neji. "What? You think after all that hidden training we got from Ero-nii, I still wouldn't know about her feelings for me?"

Neji deadpanned. "Do you want an honest answer or a lie?"

"Freaking Hyūga with their freaking Byakugan and…" Naruto grumbled. "… Just… keep this a secret from everyone, okay? Both of us would get into trouble if people found out…"

Neji raised his eyebrows to extreme lengths. "You mean you two are…?"

"Yeah…" Naruto whispered. "But keep it quiet. I still need to get a better reputation in the village before we can even hope to let this info go public and not suffer horrible punishment."

"True, you are not from a clan… but I do not see how there would be so much chaos if…" Neji started before Naruto butted in.

"Neji… there are other ways that seals can make a person's life miserable…" The blonde glared at Neji with a serious look.

Neji paused for a moment in shock before frowning. "… What do you mean by that?"

Naruto stalled before sighing and turning back to the direction of the dining hall. "… I won't say any more right now other than this: it has to do with an S-class village secret, so don't think you and the Branch house are the only ones that have to deal with a seal that makes life a pain in the ass. I know that there are some people that would do almost anything to have a seal like yours on their forehead than the ones that they already have on themselves…"

Neji was about to immediately respond to that when something caught his ear. As they approached the main room, the pair could hear lively music and… laughing? They opened the door to see what was going on.

Several copies of Ghost were in the corner of a room, playing a strange and upbeat tune on the instruments that were once being played by the musicians (think Irish style music). There were several dozen bottles of wine on the table now and the boys could see that many of the people in the room were a bit more relaxed now that they were slightly inebriated. The real Ghost was still in his seat, but he was happily telling a tale about one of his other groups of friends.

"So yeah, in short you have a talking reindeer, a lying marksman, a samurai with no sense of direction, a perverted cook, a stingy navigator, a psycho mechanist, a zombie musician, a complete idiot for a captain, and a somewhat antisocial archeologist. All of them with huge prices on their heads and all of them downright crazy in one way or another. Their parties are to kill for, though, fun too. But I'll be damned if I told you they were weak."

Hiashi chuckled slightly and quirked an eyebrow. "So this captain of theirs, is his body truly made of rubber? I find that hard to believe."

Ghost sniggered. "What's harder to believe is his physical strength. The damn bastard is practically as strong as Tsunade, and dumber than a fresh academy student… although he can fight like a kage if he wanted too… I can vouch on both accounts." Ghost rubbed the back of his head as he remembered the beatings he took from both mentioned parties.

"Ero-nii…?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"Oh, hey brat." Ghost cheered. "What's up? I'm just telling Hiashi over here about some of my pirate buddies from other lands. You know, the Straw-hat guys."

"Um… yeah." Naruto replied before looking at the clones. "I didn't know you could play that many instruments…"

"What? I told you that I was an accomplished musician on the first day of group training. I have good ears, and no offence Hiashi, but the guys you got to play have no idea what the right songs to play for a party. I mean, come on! Slow and peaceful songs are not for a giant meal with over 40 people. And that violinist was horribly off key, it was driving me nuts!" Ghost claimed as he rose a bottle above his head and laughed. "Ah, but at least people are actually getting some energy in them again. The miracles that booze and good music can bring eh?"

Hiashi smiled, which unnerved Neji and some other Branch house members a bit. "Indeed. I regret that we have had little examples of these sorts of gatherings lately. We normally refrain from letting down our guard this much…"

"Bah. That's bull. You have this huge family and yet you can't trust anyone in it? You guys need to relax some more. Tradition is fine and all, but too much can cause a person to go nuts. Trust me, I've seen some people so caught up in their own beliefs that they ended up pretty much setting everything they touched or cared about on fire." Ghost slurred. "All work and no play makes Jack a boring virgin…"

"That's not how the saying goes, Ero-nii." Naruto sighed, only to receive a pound to the head.

"I did not ask for your input, Minion number Q!" Ghost Shouted.

"For the last time Ero-nii, stop calling me Minion number Q!" Naruto shouted back, not noticing that the pair was the center of attention in the room.

Ghost sniggered. "You do know that Q isn't a number, right? Wow, you're stupid."

Naruto twitched for a few moments before charging at the man. "I'll kill you!"

Ghost laughed as he turned his body and pinned Naruto to the ground with ease. "Bring it on, Q boy!"

Before long the pair was hidden in a large dust cloud as they beat the living daylights out of each other and threw out vulgar taunts. The entire Hyūga populace was simply watching in a mix of awe, amusement, and a small amount of disgust.

"Should we do something about this Hiashi-sama?" Neji asked a sound of some body part breaking was clearly heard.

"We probably should… though they do seem to be making sure that nothing of ours is broken…" Hiashi mused as the cloud circled the table for the third time. "Although your fellow Branch house members and some of the Main house members are finding it a bit entertaining… are those two always like this?"

Neji let his head drop. "Unfortunately…"

One of the elders had finally lost their temper. "Enough! We invite you to our home, and this is how you behave?!"

The cloud stopped suddenly and the two came into full view. Ghost had Naruto pinned with one arm bent in an odd direction. Naruto in turn was biting one of Ghost's arms and elbowing the elder's stomach with his other arm. "Ummmm…" The two stalled as they realized that everyone was watching them. "It was his fault!" They said at the exact same time while pointing at each other. "What!" "No, it was yours!" "Why you!"

"Enough!" Hiashi shouted, preventing the two from mauling each other again. "Can you two at least save your scuffling for after the meal?"

Naruto recovered first and bowed deeply. "My most sincere apologies Hiashi-sama. I promise that I will keep my emotions in check and…" He was interrupted by Ghost.

"Aww. Do we have to?" The man childishly pouted, only to get pounded by Naruto on the top of the head. "Fine… fine… we'll beat each other senseless later."

"You seem awfully calm Ōgakari-san." One elder commented. "Why are you not as careful with your words as your apprentice?"

Ghost smirked. "Oh, that's easy. It's because I know I can escape the compound with my life if I accidentally piss you guys off, and blondie here can't, even with his healing abilities."

Everyone in the room deadpanned. "You are very honest, aren't you?" Hiashi mused.

Ghost cocked an eyebrow. "Why wouldn't I be? You guys are allies of my family, right? So it's only natural that I be honest and straightforward with you. I think it's rude to do all that secret meaning crap for small matters with people that you're supposed to trust with your lives on the battlefield. To be honest, I think it's kind of insulting and depressing that you guys have to hold in your emotions all the time. It's like you're too afraid to trust anyone with what you're feeling inside." The room was quiet for a few moments as everyone comprehended what Ghost had just told a good portion of the Hyūga clan. "It sounds like someone needs a hug…" And then the entirety of the room face faulted in unison. Ghost tilted his head. "What!? Everyone loves hugs! They're awesome!"

"I… I will have to refrain from that offer, Sensei…" Neji stuttered. "I have seen too many hugs already in my… team."

"Yeah, that would make anyone not want a hug…" Naruto shivered while giving his senior a sympathetic look.

"Heheheheh." Ghost chuckled to himself as he remembered everyone's reactions after he became the first person to break the sunset genjutsu. "Oh… erm, point taken."

"Moving on then…" Hiashi stalled, trying to ignore the irritated looks the elders were giving the group. "I have heard that the Chūnin Exams are starting soon." Naruto and Neji snapped their heads to the Hyūga head. "Do you think any of the genin under your tutelage are ready?"

Ghost chuckled as he stretched and got back into his seat. "Hiashi, from what I've seen from my students and from what I can tell the standard for a chūnin is, I can assure you that all of my students are more than ready for the Chūnin Exams… not only that, the real question should be how many of these students will be promoted to special jōnin after they become chūnin."

Hiashi was shocked, as were many of the elders and Neji. "Are you sure? You have only been training them for six months."

Ghost chuckled. "Beyond sure. All twelve of the genin under my watch are at least low chūnin in capability, and I have made sure to address each of their skills in a way to make sure that they get the maximum results while still leading a somewhat normal and happy lifestyle."

Hiashi gave this new information some thought, as did the listening elders. "Can you tell me how Hinata and Neji both stand compared to everyone else in their age group?"

Ghost smirked. "Sure, why not? Well, at the top of the list is, of course, dumbass over there. With those shadow clones of his and the training I gave him beforehand, the kid is easily at least special jōnin level already, and would be higher if it weren't for the fact that his temper still sucks and he still rushes things occasionally." Several people in the room gaped as Naruto sighed, Neji stared at the boy, and the elders pondered. "Then there's Shikamaru Nara. The lazy bastard is nothing special physically, though he has been training his reserves and his speed recently. No, what makes that brat special is his freaking head. I have never beaten that brat in any sort of thinking game since I met him, and his strategies are of the highest quality. Throw in the fact that he never, and I mean _never_ , panics and you have a leader and strategist that you will bail your ass out of a bad situation every time guaranteed. If he can get his skills up a little more, he would be a solid special jōnin despite his age. Next is Hinata…"

"Preposterous…" Grumbled one elder. "There is no way that girl has more potential than Neji."

"And it is that attitude which makes you a shitty teacher." Ghost said blatantly before Naruto could let his mouth run wild. "I for one can tell you that the girl is a genius beyond genius. Her potential is only limited by her body type and her chakra reserves, which I might add are increasing at a very impressive rate. The only thing that held her back was… forgive me for saying this… you guys."

"WHAT!" Roared several elders. "How dare you…!"

"And that's exactly why." Ghost pointed out before taking another swig of wine. "People are different, regardless of when, where, and who you were born to. Your relentless and heartless approach to training broke down the poor girl's will and nearly shattered her resolve. You forget that you are dealing with CHILDREN… ninja, yes, but still children. Some are more sensitive to emotions and comments than you want or think, which is why you need a GENTLE approach most of the time. Sound familiar?" Ghost raised an eyebrow while glaring at the enraged elders.

"Anyways, as for Hinata's skills, all I can say is wow. Her technique, approach, style and execution are nearly flawless. She is not afraid to be flexible when dealing with various situations, which is perfect for a good leader, and she is apt at coming up with appropriate strategies for dealing with adverse conditions. She is also amazing at medical ninjutsu, and if she peruses that path I have little doubt she could end up as famous as Tsunade within a few years. If it weren't for the fact that she still occasionally regresses into her shy and nervous persona in tense situations, I would almost claim that you have a near perfect kunoichi in your household. All in all, Hinata is also on my list for an instant recommendation to be promoted to special jōnin after becoming a chūnin… after a few missions to give them more experience first, of course."

The elders were fuming with rage as they pondered what Ghost had claimed. How dare HE insult their training methods! Methods that have been used for generations to produce scores of potent Hyūga warriors!

Hiashi was mentally kicking himself again for his poor treatment of his daughter and praying that he would be able to make it up to her at some point.

Neji was somewhat surprised at the information. He knew that Naruto was special, but to be on the same level as his cousin, who soundly beat his face in, was surprising. He also made a mental note to observe Shikamaru some more.

Hanabi was shocked that her sister was so strong. She had been avoiding Hinata ever since her defeat all those months ago and had been letting up on the demeaning comments when they had to spar with each other. The small Hyūga girl told herself that she would ask her father for Ghost to tutor her in time. If he could do such a thing with Hinata, imagine what he could do with her!

Naruto mentally cursed. Now Neji would take him seriously if they fought again. He did not want another Hyūga beating up his insides during the exams.

"And that's pretty much it for the special jōnin-level kids." Ghost mused, snapping everyone out of their musings. "For the borderline special jōnin-level genin, it's pretty much Neji, Shino Aburame, Lee Rock, and Sasuke Uchiha. Seriously, you guys only need a bit of extra training and maybe some mental conditioning or tutoring and you have that position in the bag." Ghost shrugged. Neji mentally smiled. He might not have been the strongest person, but at least it was comforting to know that his skills were on that level. "The rest of the genin are easily chūnin level ninja, but need to brush up in a couple of areas if they want to go farther up the ranks."

"Interesting…" Mused one of the more lenient elders. "So we can assume that these fresh genin will have a certain chance of becoming chūnin in the next exams?"

Ghost shrugged. "Well, maybe. You know how these exams work, as well that there will be some tough competition from other villages. The chance that something could go wrong for them in the exams is just as likely as them making the rank. But from what I've seen from the recordings of previous exams, they all have a damn good chance of making it to at least the final round."

"So then are we to assume that all of the teams are to be entered in the exams?" Hiashi asked.

Ghost smirked as Naruto and Neji looked at the man. "Oh yeah, and I am personally going to make sure that they squirm every step of the way…"

o. o. o.

"That was a good meal… free too." Ghost mused as he and Naruto walked down a road through Konoha.

"It would have been better if you didn't keep on screwing around with everyone's heads like that." Naruto sighed.

Ghost shrugged. "Had to. Didn't you notice the elders? A good number of them were constantly observing and interpreting everything I was doing and saying the entire meal."

"Like they were up to something?" Naruto questioned.

"Yep." Ghost nodded. "It must mean that Hiashi told them about the seal that's being made."

"Oh yeah…" Naruto mused. "I guess that's why you were pulled aside by a couple of them right before we left. What did they ask?"

Ghost snorted. "That I should give them the seal instead of to Hiashi or make one to their requests in tandem with the original project."

"Please tell me you told them to fuck off." Naruto sighed.

"Actually, I told them I would consider their proposal after they told me I could name my price." Ghost chuckled, getting a shocked look from Naruto. "That way I can keep the elders from doing anything stupid while they think that I'm playing ball and catch them off guard later. Why get a minor reaction now when you can get a bigger and more fulfilling one later with a few choice words?"

Naruto blinked a few times before slouching. "I hate it when you're right like this."

"I know. Don't I suck?"

"Hey!" A young voice shouted out from behind the two. The pair turned around to see Hanabi glaring at them with conviction. Naruto flinched, worried that she may have overheard their conversation, but a quick waving motion from Ghost told him that he had taken precautions.

"Hey yourself." Ghost countered with a raised eyebrow.

"You're Hanabi… Hinata's sister…" Naruto stated curiously. "Aren't you a bit careless being out this late alone? Why are you following us anyway?"

Hanabi pointed to Ghost. "I want you to train me." She claimed in a tone that left no argument… for most people, anyways.

"Say what now?" Ghost asked blankly.

Hanabi frowned. "I said I want you to train me like you trained Hinata, so I can beat her."

"So you want revenge for Hinata beating you badly in your spars over the past few months?" Naruto asked incredulously. "That's it?"

"I am a Hyūga." She stated in a matter of fact tone. "You should be honored to help me."

Naruto sighed. "Come on, Ero-nii. There's no way that you'll…"

"Sure." Ghost interrupted, causing Naruto to gape.

"Care to repeat that?" Naruto asked.

"And we'll start right now." Ghost grinned, crossing his arms and getting strange looks from the two children.

"Erm… I have to get back home soon, or father will find out that I left…" Hanabi mumbled nervously, starting to have second thoughts about her decision.

"Don't worry, this will only take a few minutes. I will assign you a task and until you complete it, I will not train you any further." Ghost sighed as he walked up to the uncertain girl. "The first thing I want you to do is…" He whispered something into the girl's ear.

"What?" Hanabi asked incredulously. "That's it? That's the first step to making me stronger?"

"Yep!" Ghost replied cheerfully. "That's it. Remember, you have to see them at least once a week and you have to try to enjoy yourself, but don't pair yourself with ones that will just yes you or ones that will take advantage of you… much. Visit me once a week after your initial meeting and tell me about your time with them. I'll decide when you are ready for your next step in training, but remember that this will have to stay between the three of us, so don't tell anyone that I told you to do this."

Hanabi stared at the man angrily before turning to Naruto. "Is this guy seriously the reason why nee-san is so strong?"

Naruto sighed and shrugged. "Yeah. The man is crazy on all levels, but he knows what he's doing most of the time. If you want to get stronger, Ero-nii's the guy you want to talk to… though you may just go crazy in the process."

"Thanks!" Ghost said cheerfully.

"That wasn't a compliment." Glared Naruto.

"Insanity aside, you should probably get back home Hanabi." Ghost sighed. "Otherwise your father and the elders might get it into their head that I'm somehow responsible for your disappearance. Good luck on the training." The man turned around and continued down the street with Naruto catching up, leaving a very confused Hanabi behind them.

"So what did you tell her to do?" Naruto asked curiously after he made sure no one was following them.

Ghost smirked. "I told her to make some friends her own age. We don't want another stuck up next generation Hyūga running around now do we?"

o. o. o.

The group of four walked up to the giant gates of Konoha with still faces. They were assigned their mission and were fully committed to their job, one that would result in the betrayal of a strong ally and all-out war… all except the youngest of the group. His thoughts were constantly plagued with visions of blood and proving his existence…

However, a new question inhabited his head at the moment, one that he had been pondering ever since he had found out that he would be going to Konoha for the Chūnin Exams. He kept on pondering the message that the man with strange eyes had told him, so much so that he didn't catch what his supposed teacher and siblings were saying.

He would find this blonde fox and ask him about how he proved his existence, and if he didn't like the answer he got, the red head would simply feed his blood to mother.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Sorry about being late again. Assassin's Creed 2 is just too awesome to put down. Double hidden blades for the win… oh yeah, I should probably have Naruto doing some more awesome tricks like that as well, heheheheheh.

Gar. Website errors make me angry and slow down reviews. Gar.

I swear the next few chapters will be better… well, being the Chūnin Exams, they definitely will be better. Also, expect the next chapter to come out Tuesday or Wednesday, I'm going back home again around then for Thanksgiving and I have a desktop, so bleh.

Please review. The last chapter only got 8 reviews and it's a major blow to my surprisingly flammable ego. I like fire as much as the next person, but this is a slightly more concerning case… being that it is my ego. I raised it since it was small. Please don't take my ego away from me.


	26. You should really know better by now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 26: You should really know better by now.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

"I heard that Gaara's in town." Ghost mused as he and Naruto did a little bit of private one on one sparring. Naruto had gotten to a point where as long as Ghost didn't alter his speed much or change his legs to have hands, they could fight more-or-less equally with blades. The two were constantly weaving themselves around each other and clashing their weapons frequently. Both had a numerous cuts and bruises, and Ghost was fairly impressed with Naruto's progress. Even though they were fighting using only tai- and kenjutsu, the boy was proving to be a very competent warrior. On more than one occasion, Naruto had tricked the man by swiping with either the extended side blade or the underarm blade in order for Ghost to block, only for the boy to temporarily shut off his flow of chakra and position Ghost in a compromising position. Still, Ghost had pulled off a few impressive blows on Naruto as well, holding his swords by the jitte in the back and frequently altering his attack pattern to confuse the boy. His higher speed and agility also played a major part in his style, and more often than not resulted in a fresh scratch on the blonde's body. The goal of the training was to focus on his ability to trace and follow faster and more agile opponents in close ranged combat, and so far the kid was acing it.

"Really?!" Naruto asked as he punched at Ghost with his side blades on. Ghost jumped over the strike only to be greeted with Naruto's other arm swiping above the other arm and the underarm blade extended over 5 meters long. Ghost used one of his swords to block the attack and used the force of the blow to spin his body in the air and kick the blonde with the extra force. Naruto went flying across the training field that they were in and stopped a good 20 meters away.

"Next time, don't cross your arms so much. It makes it harder to react and counter in fast situations." Ghost lectured. "Yeah. The old man told me that Gaara's team got here roughly yesterday. We have a few other Suna teams here as well, but they mostly keep their distance from your homicidal buddy for obvious reasons."

Naruto nodded in understanding as he got back up. "We have to get to him as soon as possible. The sooner we bring him back, the easier we can breathe knowing we have a good chance of shattering the fake alliance."

Ghost smirked. "Don't worry. I actually met up with the crazy red head while I was out of town. I didn't bring back his memories due to the fact that it might change how things play out beforehand, but I did tell him to look for the blonde fox in the leaves. Honestly, I can't be more obvious than that…"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "How the hell did you manage to pass the message without getting killed by him? Gaara wasn't the most cooperative person at this point in time."

Ghost shrugged. "Not hard, really. I just knew what made him tick and chose the right words to say. Plus, it helps that you taught me that fake switch technique before I left. That shit is useful as hell."

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah. Mixing the Shadow Clone technique with replacement is pretty damn awesome if I do say so myself." The blonde paused. "How are Haku and Zabuza coming along? I haven't seen them in a while."

Ghost sighed as he sat down, flicking both his wrists and making his swords disappear in thin air. "No-brows is busy training his strength and agility, as well as increasing his chakra reserves and control. He's getting pretty good at focusing his water nature chakra through that knife of his as well. From what I can tell, doing so makes his swordsmanship more natural and lets him have more control in his strikes as well as increasing the cutting power a bit. Surprisingly enough, I think it's the best element a person can have when augmenting a huge blade like that. People rarely expect that level of control and precision when dealing with something that big."

"As for Haku, she's still busy working on increasing her reserves, speed, and messing around with her elemental manipulation. Can you believe that before you guys met up, she never actually trained with her wind manipulation? She's still working on it now, but she can already cut a leaf in half. Her ice constructs are a lot stronger now, but I can still break them after 4 seconds without much effort. Aside from that, she's busy making those new ice style techniques and learning a few wind techs as well. Right now, she's busy with one of my clones trying to see how long she can keep her techniques up. When she's low on chakra though, she occasionally works on her medical ninjutsu. From what Hana told me, the girl shows as much promise as Hinata or Sakura."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "How the hell can you break Haku's mirrors so easily? Last time I checked, they could stand up to a Rasengan for good 5 seconds before breaking."

Ghost smirked. "It's a secret."

Naruto started his after training stretches while pouting. "Asshole. What about the other sensei and the old man? I know that Kakashi-sensei is still working on his speed and chakra reserves seeing as he doesn't really need to work on much else, and Asuma-sensei has been working on his evasion and defense so he can get a rematch with that immortal guy… what's his name again?"

Ghost sighed. "Hidan. … Now that I think about it, you never actually saw that guy, did you? You weren't there when Asuma died the first time and Shikamaru already dragged his swearing ass away from the group before you got to the fight."

Naruto shook his head. "No, I didn't. Can you please get back to the other sensei now?"

Ghost sighed as he started to walk on his hands around the boy. "Fine. Fine. Kurenai has been the least progressive, but that's understandable seeing as she is the least motivated, even with Anko nudging her along the way. She has been working a bit on her speed and reaction time, as well as looking up on some additional genjutsu from what Anko's told me, but not much. Gai has been well… Gai. It seems as if he's taken Lee's training idea and made it his own, and it bloody shows. The man is miles ahead of where he was last time, or that's what Kakashi's told me at least, and it's understandable too considering how the freak trains. As for the old monkey, I'm honestly surprised at his progress. He has his gravity seal on 6x, and from what I've seen he's in excellent shape and condition… well, the real progress happened after he backed me into a corner and forced me to tell him how to beat his paperwork…"

"You weakling." Naruto snorted.

"Hey, I only do community service on my own terms and no one else's. Honestly, 200 cumulative hours of community service per month per clan with no shadow clones is just nuts! No wonder the Hyūga have so many clan members…" Ghost pouted as he swayed from side to side. "Still, it was pretty damn funny to watch the old man give himself a concussion by ramming his head against the desk repeatedly while calling himself stupid each time after I told him that the answer was using shadow clones."

Naruto laughed. "Aw man. I would have paid to see that."

"You and everyone else, blondie." Ghost chuckled. "So where was I? Ah yes. Anko. To be honest, she's easily jōnin level now. Her base stats and reaction time is miles ahead of where she once was…"

"Probably because she's getting practice trying to catch you in the act of stealing her panties." Naruto mumbled.

"Yes. You are correct." Ghost nodded sagely as he planted his feet on the ground. "Aside from my obscure training's results, she has also made a new technique, created a few new poisons, gotten better at projectiles, is fairly capable in medical ninjutsu, and learned a few extra fire techniques. Even the council will have trouble denying her promotion after she shows them the full scale of her abilities at her next evaluation." Ghost and Naruto smirked, knowing full well that this would be just another way to rub shit into the civilian council's faces.

From the very beginning of the program's initiation, the civilian council had been nothing but trouble. They were constantly making 'suggestions', such as kicking out Anko, or focusing most of the sensei involved on Sasuke's progress, or trying to hamper Naruto's progress. One of the more troublesome suggestions was that there should be records of the techniques that each shinobi had created so that they could be taught to others. It took a fair amount of subtle manipulation from Ghost and a lot of strong arming from Sarutobi to clear that case up. Needless to say, Ghost was extremely surprised that so many childish and idiotic adults were members of the council. You'd think that in a ninja village, someone would've taken care of that by now, one way or the other.

"And finally there's Hana. Naruto… just to let you know, that chick is seriously one of the strongest ninja in the village now. With her triplets, she has a huge arsenal of extremely strong ninjutsu and taijutsu under her belt. Her speed and skill are ridiculous now, and just between you and me, she managed to finish her hybrid elemental wolf techniques a few days ago." The pair shuddered for various reasons. Naruto had seen Kiba's wolf techniques with Akamaru a few days before the time incident and he did not want to be on the wrong end of them, let alone of an elementally charged version. Ghost was shivering because he didn't tell Naruto that he had actually helped Hana create TWO different strings of multi-elemental wolf techniques, and both were extremely powerful and downright scary. "Needless to say, pissing her off is a stupid decision."

"Agreed." Naruto mumbled as he got back up. "It's about lunch time. Ichiraku's?"

"But of course." The immortal said cheerfully as he joined his student. "I heard that Sasuke finally managed to channel his fire element chakra into his sword and is already using it in his spars."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Ugh. Don't remind me. He hasn't shut up about it for days, and even Sakura is going on about how the teme has the edge on me again…"

Ghost shrugged. "Eh. Let them have their fun. We all know that you are still way out of their league. You have to admit that his progress and attitude change is pretty damn impressive considering that he doesn't know how to use shadow clones. To be perfectly honest, I was worried for a while that the emo would get worse and we would have to take… erm… more drastic measures…"

Naruto frowned. "You're serious, aren't you?"

Ghost sighed. "Sorry to disappoint, but Itachi did one hell of a number on his head. Mix that with his age and the way he was raised, and you have a kid who was very close to the point of no return. To be honest though, the thing that pushed him over the edge and made him join snake face was a combination of that moron of a brother using Tsukuyomi on him again during that trip of yours and his insecurity of not getting strong enough because you were catching up to him. It was a psychological one-two punch that left Orochimaru holding the spoils."

Naruto pondered the information for a bit. "I still have trouble believing that Itachi is a good guy. Honestly, what kind of brother does that to people that he cares about?"

"A desperate one that was raised by the Uchiha." Ghost sighed. "You have to remember that Itachi was noted to be a super genius at an early age and was raised by one of the strictest clans in Konoha. The poor bastard saw the results of war when he was 4 and was traumatized by it, badly. Between you and me… Itachi is sick. Very, very sick. Sick enough that he won't make it the age of 25 without aid from someone on Tsunade's level or a member of my family." Naruto's eyes widened drastically at the new information.

"So… Itachi knows he doesn't have much longer, and if he does die before Sasuke gets to him… what do you think would happen to your buddy?" Ghost paused as he read Naruto's increasingly depressed expression. "That's right, Sasuke's world would shatter around him. So what does he do? He gives his brother a bit of… motivation so that he would be pushed to be strong enough in time… to kill Itachi and believe he had restored honor to his clan… and hopefully calm the poor kid down. Unfortunately for Itachi and Sasuke, Itachi doesn't have much in the way of people skills despite his extensive knowledge of psychology, and the end result is your buddy getting wrapped around Madara's little finger."

"Itachi, of course, managed to predict that eventually, which lead to your interesting conversation with him right before Sasuke killed him. I still have no freaking clue what the man gave to you that day, but my guess is that it either has to do with the Sharingan, the Kyūbi, or it's some kind of secret message for Sasuke in the case that he tries to get you in another genjutsu. In any case, it's useless to worry about it now, so I wouldn't dwell too much on it."

"But you told me that there was something else you were concerned about in the Uchiha massacre…" Naruto noted with a frown as Ghost sighed.

"Yeah." The man admitted. "Most of my information about that incident is very circumstantial, but what I do know for a fact is that Itachi did care about Sasuke. He wanted Sasuke to be strong when the time came to deal with Madara… and that there is definitely more to Shisui Uchiha than we know."

"Shisui?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "What does he have to do with this? Wasn't he the guy that Itachi killed to get his Mangekyō Sharingan?"

Ghost frowned. "Kid, there are so many things surrounding that guy that there's no way his story is as cut and dry as people believe. For one thing, Shisui was known to have a personal trick to his Sharingan that put people under a mild and nearly undetectable hypnosis, and I'm talking high quality techniques here. You would need a Byakugan to detect the thing in action. Second, the guy was known as Shisui the Teleporter. We don't know Madara's true identity just yet, so there might be a small chance that Orochimaru was not the only bastard taking over people's bodies…"

"Wait. That can't be right." Naruto mused. "His body was found and everything. He was confirmed dead… unless…"

"He pulled a Zabuza, right?" Ghost asked, getting a unnerved expression from Naruto. "Once again, I don't know much about what happened that night, so we can only speculate until we have more proof…"

"There's something else, isn't there?" Naruto frowned, getting a nervous reaction from Ghost. "Spill it. What are you hiding?"

Ghost sighed. "Well, the third thing that makes Shisui's case so damn glaring is that… well… remember when I told you that Danzō had another person's eye and arm underneath his bandages?"

Naruto froze in his tracks for a moment before turning to Ghost with a fearful expression on his face. "No…"

"Yeah. I suspect it's how he managed to get the Daimyō to make him Hokage so quickly. Believe it or not, he was pretty damn interested in Kakashi before he changed his mind."

Naruto stalled for a moment, paralyzed by the thought of Kakashi being Hokage and the knowledge that Danzō has a subliminal messaging Sharingan. "I honestly don't know what's scarier at the moment." The boy mumbled to himself, getting Ghost to laugh out loud.

"I know what you mean. None the less, with what we know now, we can at least stop Itachi from screwing with Sasuke's head again and get a spy into the Akatsuki…" Ghost mused. "But for right now, we can assume that there was a pretty big chance that Shisui was a member of ROOT… or at least connected to Danzō before he supposedly died."

Naruto shook his head. "Enough talking about the Akatsuki and Danzō, they can be dealt with later. We need to go over what's going to happen in the Exams first."

Ghost nodded. "Right. So, go through the first test like last time. Don't do anything out of character, ESPECIALLY if you happen to get placed next to the guy Orochimaru is disguised as. We don't know when the psycho did the switch, but we do know he was there by the time you were all ready to enter the Forest of Death. I'll give you a signal if he's still the same genin as last time. It will be fairly obvious, stupid, and dangerous for anyone else to do if they knew they were dealing with Orochimaru, so it won't be too difficult to figure out what it is…"

Naruto nodded, wondering what the crazy bastard would do to the Snake Sannin without killing himself. "Right, then there's the part I really don't like. Tell me why again do I have to let Sasuke get the mark?"

Ghost sighed. "Because it will make the bastard overconfident, so he'll move like last time. If we stop him or give him reason to think that we're on to him, he'll be more careful and end up killing more people. Besides, my family should be arriving soon, and they can get rid of the curse mark fairly easily after the preliminaries. Remember, you have to let yourself get separated from your team somehow when dealing with the bastard, otherwise your teammates will get suspicious as to why you aren't using your full skills to help them out with the bastard, and if you do go all out on him, he will likely kill you or mark you instead and get very suspicious about the entire operation."

"We don't know how his marks will affect the Kyūbi's seal, and despite the fact that you are easily elite jōnin level right now, Orochimaru still has a very good chance of killing you and your teammates due to the fact that you are all still only 13 years of age. Your bodies can only put out so much, despite having Sage Mode and the Kyūbi's chakra. After the preliminaries, we can then do some more radical actions, such as taking off the seal, training you, getting the Sand forces to betray the Sound, train you in your earth element, meet up with the toad pervert, and give Sakura her memories back."

Naruto relaxed a bit as he remembered that they would bring Sakura back. He was starting to miss his old teammate. Sure, the new Sakura wasn't that bad, but she was still a bit of a fangirl, and some of her more annoying habits had yet to die. Plus, her enhanced strength and advanced medical experience would of tremendous help. Speaking of memories… "Ero-nii, can we bring back Hinata-chan's memories soon? I know our relationship is a lot farther along than before, but…"

Ghost sighed. "We have to wait to make sure we don't need that last link, kid. We have three left; one is going to be used on Itachi, Nagato, and Konan, and the other is to be used on Sakura. We have to wait and make sure that the last link isn't required for something else before we use it on Hinata. I'm sorry."

Naruto sighed as he looked down. He was really not looking forward to the next month aside from finally seeing Gaara and Ero-Sennin again. His thoughts, unfortunately, were brushed aside as first his stomach growled loudly, and second he sensed a square object on the ground following him with very little stealth. The boy mentally groaned. "Rocks aren't square Konohamaru… and they don't have eyeholes either."

"And that's why you're my rival!" Shouted a voice inside the box as a large cloud of smoke engulfed it. Seconds later the smoke cleared away to reveal three asphyxiated children gasping for air and struggling to get out of the box. "Too (cough cough) much powder, Udon…" Konohamaru wheezed out."

"(Cough cough) Bite me." Udon rasped.

"You do know that it's safer and more efficient to set off the smoke bombs outside the box, right?" Naruto asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"I (cough) told you!" Groaned Moegi.

"Sooo, what do you guys want?" Naruto sighed, guessing correctly what they'd came for.

Konohamaru recovered first. "We want you to play ninja with us like you promised Naruto-nii-san!" The young boy pointed accusingly at the blonde. "You haven't been playing with us at all lately!"

Naruto groaned. "Now? Ero-nii and I were just about to get some ramen."

Konohamaru pouted. "No! You can tell Ghost-sensei to… what's that hissing sound?" The four children turned to look at where Ghost was once standing to see a plastic model cow covered in exploding tags. On the side was written in hastily written words "Caution: Play Ninja Cow at Work". Konohamaru looked at Naruto with a dull expression. "I hate it when he does that."

Naruto sighed. "We all do."

BOOM!

The cow exploded with extreme force, but surprisingly little fire, and threw the four youths into the air screaming their heads off.

o. o. o.

Several blocks away:

"Feh." Snorted Kankuro as he walked with his sister Temari. "I don't see what the big deal is with this damn village. There's too much green here. And the humidity is making my war paint run, and…"

"Oh will you shut up already!" Temari snapped. "No one cares about your damn makeup! It wouldn't surprise me if Gaara actually does kill you with all the moaning you do."

Kankuro stumbled. "Oi. Don't say something like that. You might give him ideas…"

Temari sighed. "One, at the rate you're going it's going to be a race between Gaara and me to see who kills you. Two, it's not like he hasn't considered it at least a dozen times already knowing him. Three, we don't even know if he's near us right now, and four… wait, do you hear that?"

Kankuro raised an eyebrow. "That's your fourth reason-ARG!" The boy was interrupted by a falling Konohamaru, Moegi, and Udon as the group landed all around and on top of the Suna genin. Temari had enough sense to stay alert and jump out of the way, but Kankuro was too distracted and failed to notice the four human projectiles that were falling in his general direction. "What the hell!"

"Why do you hang out with that guy again, Naruto-nii?" Konohamaru groaned, completely unaware of being on top of Kankuro."

"I honestly don't know sometimes." Responded Naruto as he talked into the ground. "I can't feel my face…"

"It's a good thing we landed on something soft." Commented Moegi, who was sitting on the puppet wielder's face.

"What's this squishy thing we landed on?" Udon snorted as he pushed himself up, unknowingly putting all his weight on Kankuro's sack.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!" Kankuro yelled as he jumped up and grabbed the first child he could get his hands on, which happened to be Konohamaru.

"EEEEK! Pervert!" Moegi shouted as she ran away from the embarrassed and defiled Suna-nin, causing Temari to snort and laugh hard.

"Wow, Kankuro. Taken down by a bunch of small children. Are you sure you're ready for the Chūnin Exams? Honestly, and I thought you liked older women…" The eldest sibling laughed as her younger brother blushed through his smeared makeup… I mean war paint.

"Oh for crying out loud, Temari! You saw what happened!" The embarrassed boy shouted.

"Hey you weird cat-dressed, makeup wearing freak! Let go of me!" Konohamaru yelled as he struggled to get out of the elder boy's grip.

"Like hell I will, brat! You and your runty friends embarrassed me! I think I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson on how to respect your elders! … And it's not makeup, it's war paint!" The boy countered while raising his fist to hit the boy.

"Sure it is…" Temari rolled her eyes disbelievingly. "Kankuro, just let the poor kid go. Honestly, the brat was flying through the air like crazy. There's no way he did that on purpose. We just got here and Gaara would be pissed if we started trouble and got kicked out of the exams."

"Ugh. Dirt does not taste better with blood mixed in it. Wait, you guys are here for the Chūnin Exams?" Naruto groaned, managing to get into character while defusing his face from the ground. Looking up and putting on a curious façade, the boy ignored the foreigner's reactions to his eyes and whisker marks and looked at them carefully. "Well?"

Temari blinked a few times to get over the boy's strange eyes and whisker marks. For a moment she could have sworn… no, there was no way that was possible. Getting back into her alpha female character, the fan wielding girl crossed her arms and smirked. "Yeah, we're from Suna and we're here for the exams. I'm guessing you're a Konoha genin? You don't look like you'll give us a hard time. This test should be a breeze if you're all this place has to offer."

Naruto groaned as he picked himself up. "Ah the complimentary, the guys from your village don't stand a chance against us, remark. Classic, although you could have been a bit more creative about it." Naruto cracked his neck while ignoring Temari's and Kankuro's reactions to his statement. Naruto turned to the puppet master casually. "I would put him down if I were you."

"Yeah, put me down you bully!" The boy shouted, though no one really paid any attention to him.

Kankuro snorted. "Feh. Or else what? You don't look that tough."

Naruto deadpanned. "That's not what I meant dumbass. That brat you have in your hand is the grandson of the Third Hokage. As in Hiruzen Sarutobi, the legendary 'Professor', as in the guy who has final say on whether or not you're even allowed to take the Exams in the first place? Am I ringing any bells?" Kankuro and Temari paled as Naruto explained who Konohamaru was. "But if you truly want to wail on him, by all means, go ahead. Just don't be surprised if ANBU come by afterwards and kick you out of the village so quick that you bounce. I mean, sure, **I** can wail on him all I want, but that's really because I know the old man personally and he knows that I'm the only one that gives the brat periodic reality checks, but that's just me."

There was silence as everyone sweat dropped. "I'm starting to wonder if I should hang out with you anymore, Naruto-nii." Konohamaru grumbled.

"I've been wondering the same thing since I met you…" Sighed Naruto, causing even more sweat drops to appear.

"Can you put me down now?" Konohamaru asked. "My skin's starting to get irritated from where you're holding me."

"Oh… erm… sure. Sorry." Kankuro grumbled as he let the boy down, confused as to what just happened.

"Oi Naruto-nii! I thought you said it was stupid and weak to use who you were related to in order to get what you want!" Konohamaru pouted.

Naruto shrugged. "It is, but there are some cases that it comes in handy, like avoiding pointless fights. Just make sure not to push your luck, or it might blow up in your face." Konohamaru nodded slowly as he ran back to his friends, who were now situated behind the black and orange clad blonde.

"Bah. I shouldn't be wasting my time with you weaklings anyway." Kankuro grumbled. "Let's go, Temari."

"Wait." Naruto called out, getting their attention again. "I was actually going to go to lunch before I was literally blown up by my teacher via suicide bomber cow. Why don't all three of you guys come with me? I know this ramen stand that serves to anyone."

Temari raised an eyebrow and blinked nervously. "Th-three?"

Naruto nodded with a cheerful look on his face. "Yeah, three. You two, and that third guy with the huge gourd on his back in the tree up there." Naruto pointed to a tree that was behind him. "Although he's going to have to tone down the killing intent a bit. We are with children after all." Everyone listening looked in the direction Naruto was pointing to and saw a red headed boy with the kanji for Love on the left side of his forehead standing upside down on a tree branch. The boy frowned momentarily before disappearing in a cloud of sand and reappearing among his teammates.

 _'He detected Gaara with that little effort? No way!'_ Was the thought that ran through Temari's and Kankuro's minds as they kept an eye on their younger brother. "L-let's forget about this weakling, Temari." Kankuro stuttered as he took a step back from Gaara. "There's no way that Gaara will want to…"

"…I accept." Gaara said coldly, causing everyone except for Naruto to shiver unconsciously.

"What?" The two other siblings said at once in shock.

"He's scary." Shivered Moegi as she hid behind Naruto's legs.

Naruto shrugged. "So is Gai-sensei. That doesn't mean I'm going to run away every time I see him or have to talk to him." This caused the three children to sweat drop. They had seen the strange man before, and Naruto did have a point. Naruto looked at Gaara and gave him a curious look, then chuckled and scratched the back of his head. "You know… forgive me if I'm being rude, but with those rings around your eyes, you kinda look like a tanuki…"

Temari and Kankuro paled dramatically while Gaara frowned a bit and his killing intent rose for a moment. The elder siblings thought that the redhead would kill the blonde right then and there when he responded in a monotone voice. "I could say the same of you. With those scars on your cheeks and those slit eyes of yours… you somewhat resemble a fox…"

Naruto laughed, seemingly ignoring the elder teen's shocked reactions. "Yeah… I get that a lot. Thanks for the compliment… Gaara?"

Gaara nodded. "Yes. I am known as Gaara of the Desert. These are my elder two… siblings. Kankuro and Temari of the Desert. I believe that young boy called you Naruto?"

Naruto nodded, smile never leaving his face. "Yeah. Naruto Uzumaki. Pleased to meet you!" He was briefly distracted by the growling of his stomach. "Well, enough talking! Let's go get some ramen! All on me folks! I still have some money left from that big mission of mine!"

"All right Naruto-nii!" The Konohamaru trio shouted as they walked behind the blonde.

"Humph." Kankuro snorted as he reluctantly followed the group. "Big mission my butt. Probably some stupid low C-ranked mission."

"Quiet, you. He's paying for our meal anyway, so stop complaining. I'm more confused as to why Gaara is so interested in him. It's like he wants to kill him, but he's curious about him as well…" Temari whispered.

"Hey! Don't make fun of Naruto-nii!" Konohamaru shouted. "That was an A-ranked mission that he did! He even beat a special jōnin!"

This had all the sand ninja's attention as they looked expectantly at the blonde, who nervously laughed. "Erm… yeah. It was a mislabeled C-ranked mission. We had to deal with a lot of enemy ninja… and some of them were apparently really strong. My sensei took care of the most dangerous ninja, but I somehow got stuck facing a special jōnin from Kusa as well. I managed to get lucky and pull a win from out of nowhere at the last second. It's really nothing to brag about. She was really kicking my ass the entire time and just got overconfident, that's all."

Temari and Kankuro gave each other a brief look of worry. Not only was this kid apparently stronger than he looked, but he seemed to be catching Gaara's attention even more every the second judging by his slightly changing expression.

 ** _He has the Kyūbi in him! Kill him! Give me his blood!_** Shukaku roared inside Gaara's head. The boy ignored his mother's calling for once. If his guess was right, then this boy was just like him. As he walked through the village, the jinchūriki noticed that several villagers threw disgusted and angry glares at the blonde… although not as many as he experienced in his home town, yet he seemed perfectly happy and normal. Why? Why did he not simply kill those who threatened his existence? Why did these insignificant children follow him like he was their hero? These and many other questions erupted in the redhead's mind, and he was determined to find out the answers to them all before he killed the blonde. His 'slightly' homicidal thoughts were put on hold as he smelled an appealing aroma.

"And here we are!" Naruto sighed. "Ichiraku's ramen. My home away from home. Hey old man! Start cooking already! I brought a bunch of people this time!"

"Money!" Wham! "I mean, Naruto! It's good to see you!" Teuchi chuckled as he nursed the area in the back of his head that Ayame had nailed with her ladle. "And you brought a lot of customers too! … I haven't seen those three before though… you guys new in town?"

Temari nodded as she walked forward. "Yeah. We're from Sunagakure and we're here for the Chūnin Exams."

"Oh yeah…" Teuchi mused as started boiling some water in several large pots. "The Exams are here this time, aren't they?"

"Troublesome…" Grumbled someone from the side of the counter. The group turned to see Shikamaru eating some ramen with a tired look in his eyes. "That probably means all our teams are going to be entered."

Kankuro snorted. "What, are you afraid of us or something? I don't blame you, kid. You look pretty damn weak."

Shikamaru gave the smug Suna-nin a bored look, shrugged, and sighed before going back to his meal with a disinterested demeanor. This pissed off Kankuro and got a small giggle out of Temari. "Wow, Kankuro. He didn't even have to say anything and you still got told." She turned to Naruto with a curious expression. "He a friend of yours?"

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah. That's Shikamaru Nara. He probably the laziest bastard you will ever meet, but he's also very dependable in tough situations."

"Damn it, Naruto." Shikamaru groaned. "Don't say stuff like that. It'll make more people come after me during the Exams."

Ayame giggled. "Good. Maybe you will finally get some exercise for once."

"Not you too, Ayame." The Nara sighed.

"So what can I get you guys?" Teuchi asked cheerfully.

Naruto started first. "Two miso ramen, a beef ramen, and a chicken special." He then turned to Kankuro. "You're up."

Kankuro sighed, assuming that the blonde was ordering for the kids as well. "Fine. Give me a beef ramen."

Temari nodded. "I'll have a tofu ramen, please."

Gaara paused as everyone looked at him curiously. "Shrimp ramen…" He stated simply.

Teuchi nodded before turning to the small children. "Same as usual kids?"

Konohamaru nodded. "Yeah. We still can't finish adult sized bowls yet. Remember, I get the beef ramen, Udon gets the tofu, and Moegi gets shrimp."

"Hold on." Kankuro interrupted. "If you brats are getting your own meals, then why did blondie order so much ramen? There's no way he could finish it all by himself."

Shikamaru snorted. "You wanna bet on that? If Naruto had a choice and the money, he could practically fund this stand by himself."

"If only it had a higher nutritional value." Naruto sighed as he took a seat near the Nara. "Then it truly would be the food of the gods."

Temari nervously laughed as she sat next to Shikamaru, causing the boy to raise an eyebrow. "You aren't going to sit next to the guy who invited you here?"

Temari shook her head. "You seem more normal, if by only a small amount."

Gaara surprisingly took the seat between Naruto and Temari, causing the girl to momentarily freeze, but getting no reaction from Naruto. Kankuro decided to sit on the other side of Shikamaru, and Konohamaru sat on the other side of Naruto. "What's up with you?" Shikamaru asked. "It's almost as if you're afraid of your own teammate."

Temari nervously grinned as she felt Gaara's eyes on her. "Well, um… Gaara's a bit different. And he doesn't normally sit next to people willingly. I'm just a bit surprised… that's all."

Naruto chuckled. "Bah. You're in Konoha. We have loads of quote unquote different people. We have a clan that have tons of bugs living inside of them and another one that has techniques that enable them to get inside your freaking head, literally. Trust me. Different is not exactly that different here."

"And yet some would say that you are the oddest out of all of them." Shikamaru chuckled before taking another bite of his ramen.

Naruto pouted. "That's cold, Shika."

"I'm hurt Naruto. You would use the Aburame and Yamanaka as examples, but leave out the Inuzuka clan?" Hana pouted as she walked through the flaps with a smile. She faltered a moment as she sniffed the air for a few moments and looked at Gaara, which was not missed by the genin, but was snapped out of her focus by Naruto again.

"Sorry Hana-sensei, but we were talking about people who were different or odd. I was simply giving some of the more obvious examples." Naruto chuckled with a carefree attitude, getting a curious look from the girl.

"That's your jōnin instructor?" Kankuro asked with a perverted gleam in his eye. The women around him ignored it for the moment.

"Sorry. I'm just a chūnin. He calls me sensei because I've been teaching the new batch of genin medical techniques and stuff like that." Hana sighed as she held out her hand. "I'm Hana Inuzuka. Pleased to meet you."

Temari shook her hand. "Temari of the Desert. These are my younger brothers Kankuro and Gaara."

"The pleasure is all mine." Kankuro grinned, getting a nervous reaction from Hana.

"… Thank you for having us in your village." Gaara droned in a non-blinking manner.

"Erm… right." Hana chuckled. "So you guys are here for the Chūnin Exams from Suna?"

Kankuro snorted. "Yeah. Unfortunately, we weren't here for more than a day before we got beaned by the four clowns over there from out of nowhere."

"Speak for yourself, moron." Temari sighed.

"Hey!" Konohamaru shouted. "It wasn't our fault! Ero-nii blew us up again with one of his exploding cows!" His two friends nodded in tandem before the leader started to cry in the direction of a sweat dropping Hana. "Can you make him stop please? It really hurts."

The Suna triplets looked at the boy with a curious and disbelieving look on their faces. "Exploding cows?" Kankuro grumbled.

"Who the hell is this Ero-nii of yours?" Temari asked incredulously.

"He's a crazy bastard who is in the race for the most unpredictable person in the village." Shikamaru sighed. "Currently tied for first with the troublesome blonde over there… the male one."

"Hey!" Temari and Naruto yelled in unison.

Hana chuckled. "He's right you know. After all, you DID graffiti the Hokage monument in one night without getting caught."

Konohamaru, Moegi and Udon looked at Naruto in shock. "That was you, boss?!"

Naruto laughed evilly. "Yep. Even though it's one of my favorite places in the village, **especially** during sunset, I just had to leave my mark on it at some point. The first had a black eye and missing teeth, the second looked like a geisha, the third had a perverted look on his face with a bloody nose, and the fourth had a funky moustache made out of nose hair, vampire teeth, and curly eyebrows. I take all credit. Muahahahahahah."

"Here are your orders folks!" Teuchi called out as he brought in the bowls of ramen. "Sorry for the wait."

"Speaking of unstable and criminally insane males, can you tell me where Ghost is?" Hana asked Naruto. "I've been looking for him all day."

Naruto shrugged. "No clue. I was just coming over with him earlier when we ran into Konohamaru and his friends. Next thing we knew he had replaced himself with another one of his cows and we were flying in the air and landed up on makeup boy over there."

"IT'S WAR PAINT!" Kankuro shouted.

"No one cares!" Groaned Temari before she took a bite of her ramen.

"Troublesome family?" Shikamaru asked with a semi raised eyebrow.

"You have no idea." She sighed after swallowing her food. "Wow… this is really good. I might come back here more often."

"… agreed." Gaara replied quietly as he ate his food, shocking his siblings.

"Did… did he just?" Temari faltered.

"I… think so…" Kankuro replied in a daze.

"Ah, the mystical powers of ramen strike again." Naruto sighed as he started his second bowl. "Oh, ramen. Is there anything you can't do?"

"Make you tall?" Shikamaru asked, getting a good laugh out of Teuchi, Ayame, and Temari.

"OI!" Naruto yelled with an angry expression.

Hana sighed. "Thanks anyway. If he had to leave you all of a sudden, he's either with the Hokage or he's back at his clan compound. I'll see you later then." She stopped at the entrance. "Oh, and can you guys go easy on my little brother during the Exams? He's kind of strong, but he's still an idiot, so don't let his mouth bug you that much. Thanks." After that, she disappeared into the streets.

"Damn." Kankuro muttered as he continued his meal. "That Ero-nii bastard sure is lucky. What clan is he from?"

Ayame answered as she passed by the group. "Oh, Ghost-san? He's from the Ōgakari clan. They just joined the village a few months ago. Actually, didn't you tell me that the rest of their clan was supposed to be arriving sometime soon, Naruto?"

Naruto paled as he reached for his third bowl. "Oh god. You're right. They're coming soon…"

"Troublesome." Shivered Shikamaru.

"Something we should know about?" Temari asked curiously, voicing what Gaara and Kankuro were thinking.

"We're both supposed to be trained by Ghost's sister Shadow after they arrive." Shikamaru mumbled. "Apparently, she is supposed to be even more chaotic and sadistic than Anko-sensei and Ghost-sensei combined."

"I fear for our lives." Naruto mumbled.

"Boss. As much as we enjoy you freaking out like that, we have to go back home now." Konohamaru said as he tugged on the blonde's sweater. "We have academy lessons tomorrow and we have to get started soon."

"Sorry boss." Udon sniffed.

"Yeah. We'll see you later, nii-san." Moegi called out as she fallowed her friends.

Naruto looked up suddenly. "Oh crap!" He shouted as he looked at the nearest clock then finished his ramen at a speed that even had Gaara gaping in awe. "I'm late for my team meeting! Kakashi-sensei said that he would be getting the Chūnin Exam papers today!"

"What?" Shikamaru groaned before draining the broth of his ramen. "Troublesome. That means that Asuma-sensei got my papers too. I just hope I can make it in time…"

Temari raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were supposed to be the laziest person in the village?"

Shikamaru gave her a serious look. "My teammate has an extremely short temper and specializes in interrogation techniques." He let his words hang in the air for a moment. "Let's do this again sometime. Of all the blondes and women I know so far, you are among least troublesome." He managed to get out before he ran after Naruto.

"Erm… Thanks?" Temari replied, confused as to whether or not Shikamaru actually complimented her or not.

"Hold on a sec!" Kankuro roared. "Those bastards left us with the bill!"

"Nah." Teuchi chuckled. "Naruto told me he's paying for your meal, so I just put everything on his tab. That kid's like family here, so I'm not worried about him bailing out on the bill. He's not the type to leave people hanging like that… quite the opposite really."

Gaara stalled for a moment, thinking about what Teuchi had said about the blonde and the amount of trust he had for him. "…why?" He mumbled to himself, catching everybody's attention.

"Gaara?" Kankuro said a bit unnerved.

"Why do you accept him?" He asked the ramen stand owner while staring into his eyes. Teuchi stepped back a moment before recognizing the look Gaara was giving him.

Teuchi sighed as he filled up another bowl of ramen and gave it to the red head. "… because he had the same look you have in your eyes when he first came here all those years ago… a look that shouldn't belong on any child. Here's another bowl, on the house."

Gaara's eyes widened momentarily as he looked at the ramen he was given… not knowing what to do in this situation. He was never treated like this back home, and he never received gifts unless someone was begging for their lives… not that it worked, mind you.

Giving up, the jinchūriki resorted to simple proper manners in hope that they would get him out of the situation. "… thank you for the meal." He mumbled before eating through his second bowl, not seeing Teuchi's gentle smile as he walked back to clean some dishes. To be honest, Gaara felt he could eat at least another bowl before stopping, but he decided against it. He didn't know why, but he felt as if this place would be good to keep around… if for only a while longer.

Temari and Kankuro on the other hand were shocked and mute. They had never seen someone talk to their brother that way… and what more, the ramen stand owner seemed to have gotten more of the psychopath's respect than they had in just a few moments! What the hell?! Confused beyond known reason, the two could only come up with several solid facts: 1. Gaara needed closer evaluation while in Konoha. 2. The Chūnin Exams were going to be far more complicated than they expected them to be, and 3. Naruto Uzumaki was definitely suspicious.

o. o. o.

With Naruto and Shikamaru:

"You think he's going to get that hint you gave him?" Shikamaru asked curiously.

"Come on, Shikamaru." Naruto sighed. "You know he's a lot smarter than that. Besides, with Teuchi there, we'll certainly be able to catch his interest now. He'll be there, I can safely bet on that."

Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. Do you want me to come as backup?"

"Hmmm." Naruto pondered. "Depends. How long can you hold him down if he can't take the headache? I don't want you getting hurt or overextending yourself if you run out of chakra too quickly."

Shikamaru put up a thoughtful expression. "… from what I remember when I held him down in the hospital and the level I was at during that time… as long as he doesn't draw upon too much of the Ichibi's chakra, we should be all good."

Naruto nodded. "All right then. Too bad Ero-Sennin isn't here to fix his seal. We have to wait 'til after the second part of the exams for him to do anything more… and I don't think Gaara's going to be too happy being stuck with Shukaku again."

"No, Naruto, Gaara will be happy that he has to deal with a severely insane and troublesome giant sand rat screaming in his head again." Shikamaru sighed.

"Hey, better in him than with the Akatsuki." Naruto countered.

"Yeah, yeah, troublesome blonde." Shikamaru sighed as they entered the training grounds where the rest of their teams were gathered along with their original jōnin-sensei.

"You're LATE!" Shouted Ino and Sakura in tandem.

Shikamaru yawned. "Whatever…"

Naruto sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Erm… I got lost on the road of life?"

"Oh… well then, you're perfectly excused." Kakashi nodded sagely while everyone else sweat dropped.

"Damn you and your hip attitude, Kakashi!" Gai shouted to the heavens.

"Can we just get the papers so we can sign them already?" Kiba groaned.

Asuma sighed. "You do realize that patience is another thing that the proctors will be looking for, right?"

"Now, now." Kakashi chided as he took out the forms. "They've been waiting for these ever since we told them that we were entering them in the Chūnin Exams. It's only natural that they would be a bit antsy by now."

"Here you go, guys." Kurenai smiled as she passed her genin team the papers to enter the Chūnin exams. "I know we don't have to say this, but remember that the Exams will test everything you know about being ninja, so be prepared."

"Hah!" Kiba shouted. "Don't worry Kurenai-sensei. We'll beat the living crap out of these Exams and all make chūnin! After all, we are the best team around, right guys?!"

"I still see you haven't managed to curb his enthusiasm…" Asuma muttered, getting a blush and sigh from the Genjutsu mistress.

"Similar things could be said for members of your team too, Asuma." She muttered as the group watched Ino swore profusely at Kiba while Shikamaru tried to take a nap. "We seriously need to get the girl away from Anko soon, otherwise she might start adopting her fashion sense before the exams…"

Asuma shuddered at the thought of encountering an enraged Inoichi, questioning him as to why his daughter was dressed in such a manner, and suffering the consequences dearly. "Duly noted."

Naruto tilted his head for a moment. "Oh yeah. I forgot to tell you guys something…" The rest of the genin looked at the blonde. "A little earlier I came across this team from Suna that was here for the Exams. I couldn't tell why, but the red headed guy with the gourd is seriously tough. I would watch my step around him and be careful of what I say or do. … but if he's trying to help out, by all means, let him do as he pleases. He seems like a decent enough guy once you get on his good side." He shrugged, ignoring the looks he was getting from his peers. "But enough about him… does anyone have a pen?"

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Compound:

"Ghost! Where the hell are you?!" Hana shouted in the building as she searched the building with her dogs. She was slightly concerned for Naruto's safety. That red headed boy from Suna was absolutely covered with the stench of blood, but she also knew that Naruto had a good enough nose to easily detect the smell as well, yet he didn't seem fazed at all by the other's presence. Hana put that mental note aside and continued her search for the immortal. She wanted some advice on fine tuning her techniques, and the man was probably the only one in the village that was insane and skilled enough to help her out. "If this is about our rough play last night, I said I was sorry! I'll make sure I cut my nails next time! Seriously though, I need your help on something! I know you're here! Your scent is really fresh!"

Bark!

Hana turned to see one of her dogs scratching on the door that leads to the basement levels. Normally, no one used those levels unless they were working on something big and/or dangerous. "What the hell is he doing down there?" Hana mused to herself as she walked down the stairs and continued to follow the man's scent down the small maze of passages. The scent proceeded to get stronger as she walked down the halls, but they also began to grow more… stressed and panicked. Hana pondered for a moment as she continued to explore the area. To her knowledge, there wasn't anything that made Ghost stressed or uncomfortable enough to produce these levels of distortions in his scent… aside from… "Oh no…" Hana whispered as she paled dramatically and started to run down the hallway while tracking his smell.

As she rounded the corner, she came across four huge vault-like doors. Each one was heavily enforced and Hana doubted even her new piercing-oriented wolf techniques would be able to make a decent dent in them. Each one was styled with a different color and design. The one on the farthest right was decorated with blood red marks, jagged and mainly focused on the bottom. The next in line was designed with dark green lines that went at right angles and converged on the center of the door. The second to the left was colored with a dark stone blue color, with soft and gentle shapes that intricately merged with one another, but was still soft on the eyes. Hana noted that this one seemed to be enforced with more equipment than the others. The door on the farthest left however, was designed with pitch black tribal decals that followed no real pattern aside from the fact that like the green door seemed to converge, or in this case circle around the center. Looking at each door, Hana saw that there was a small pair of lights to the side of each one. She could tell that three of the doors were empty as the lights were showing a healthy green.

The black door on the other hand was flashing red, and the locks were in place, preventing it from being opened. Hana's eyes widened in fear as she quickly figured out what was happening. "SHIT!" She swore as she ran up to the door and looked for a way to open it, inspecting every part of it to see if she had skipped over anything. After looking over the entire structure the third time and finding nothing but a door handle, Hana was about to do something seriously drastic and stupid when she heard a long series of intricate clicks and grinding from the door. After a few minutes, waiting to make sure that nothing else was waiting to be activated, Hana shakily reached out to the handle of the door and with a little effort, opened it. Looking inside, the girl quickly let loose the flow of tears she was holding in when she registered the sight in front of her, not noticing that her dogs were whining behind her.

The room was padded with an extremely thick and soft material on all sides, floor and ceiling. However, despite the integrity of the material, there were still many cuts and holes in it. If a person were to walk in and see the condition of the room, they would most likely compare it to the room of an insane asylum patient that went horribly wrong, but the room itself did not have Hana's attention at all.

Inside was Ghost lying on his stomach and breathing lightly, unaware of Hana's presence, with two large piles of pitch-black chains connected to his hands.

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

The blonde was looking over the village while sitting on the top of the Fourth's head. The sun was just about to set and the he mused to himself again as to how beautiful the view was. He laughed to himself at the relaxing scenery as Shikamaru napped beside him. "You can come out now." Naruto said as if he was talking to himself.

No sooner did he finish speaking then Gaara appeared from the forest with the same emotionless expression that he normally had. "You are good at detecting people, I see. That's the second time you were aware of my presence when I was hiding myself…" He mused.

Naruto shrugged. "I guess. I have my skills and you have yours. I don't claim to be the best at it, nor do I want to be." He reached on his arm and took out a chain link and tossed it to Gaara. "Catch." He said lazily.

Gaara caught it with his sand, and noticed to his mild surprise that the two boys watching him did not seem at all surprised at seeing his ability. "… What is this?" He mused as he inspected the link.

Naruto sighed. "The answer to your questions…" He paused as he saw the irritated look he was getting from Gaara. "Hold on, let me explain. I know it sounds weird, but believe me when I say that that chain link really will solve most of your questions. What you have to do is simply press it against your forehead… and wait for the hour long super headache to pass." He said off handedly, getting a curious look from Gaara.

"As troublesome as it sounds, he's telling the truth." Shikamaru mumbled, not moving from his position. "That chain link will answer all your current questions and then some… but that headache is a pain in the ass."

Gaara inspected the link for a moment before glaring at Naruto. "And why should I trust you? For all I know you could be trying to kill me in order to get a better chance of getting through the Chūnin Exams."

Naruto shrugged. "If that was the case, then I could have tried to do something to your ramen at the stand or something else. But I know you've seen how a lot of the villagers look at me, and I guess you pretty much found out that we're pretty much the same. You house the one tailed tanuki Shukaku, and I house the nine tailed fox. To be honest, if I wanted to beat you, I would do it during the Exams or somewhere else where no one would get hurt so we could wail on each other as much as we want. Now that would be a fight to remember. Taking you out in the way you are suspecting me to would be dull, boring, and personally, insulting."

Shikamaru groaned. "What is it with you and wanting to fight your enemies head on? Honestly, you're just as bad as Lee and Gai sometimes."

Naruto paused as he looked at his semi-conscious friend. "I honestly don't know if I should take that as an insult or as a compliment."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"Green spandex fitness psychos aside, come sit over here by us." Naruto sighed, confusing the Suna genin even more. "The view really is something else right now."

Gaara stood silently for a few seconds before slowly nodding and walking up to the pair, confused as to what he should actually be doing and ignoring Shukaku's ranting to the best of his abilities. To be perfectly honest, the view of the village he was seeing at the moment was fairly impressive and somewhat appealing despite his limited range of emotions. Sitting down a fair distance away from the two, the redhead sighed and looked at the chain link once more. He did not sense any lies or deceit from either one of the two, and even if they did attack him while he was disabled from this apparent headache, his sand would automatically protect him.

Thinking the rough equivalent of 'what the heck, I can just kill them later', the boy pressed the chain link against his forehead and was mildly surprised by the fact that it phased straight through his skin before grabbing his head and dealing with the massive headache he was getting. Even Shukaku seemed to be suffering from a migraine as he crawled into a fetal position and used his sand to create a cocoon around him, but even that couldn't hide the loud groans and yells that Gaara was making.

"Oi Naruto…" Shikamaru frowned as he determined that if people couldn't see Gaara's reaction, they would be able to hear him.

"I got it covered Shika." Naruto answered calmly as he sat in a meditative position with his hands making the dragon hand sign. "No one should be able to hear Gaara now, and we're back enough that no one would be able to make us out as long as he doesn't do anything stupid with his sand."

Shikamaru could only nod slowly as he turned his attention back to the dome of sand. "I hope you're right, Naruto. Having Gaara going berserk right here would throw everything out of whack. Let's just hope that your luck is enough to keep everything in check until Gaara calms down."

Naruto snorted. "Since when has my luck ever let me down before?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Let's see. You never noticed Hinata until she literally sacrificed herself to save your life, Sasuke ran away from Konoha, Sakura never agreed to go on an actual date with you, that time you were forced to compete with Ino in that seducing contest and actually won…"

"You swore you would never speak of that incident." Naruto growled.

"Hey, don't blame me. I'm not the one who made the sexy jutsu, or the harem jutsu for that matter." Shikamaru said lazily as he raised his hands in mock self-defense.

"Heh, coming from the guy that was hitting on Temari the second he saw her." Naruto snorted.

"What can I say?" Shikamaru shrugged. "Unlike everyone else our age group, Temari's already pretty mature for her age, and it's not like I have a lot of time to talk to her before the shit hits the fan. Believe it or not, we were in a bit of a deep relationship before all this happened. Besides, I wouldn't talk if I were you. I remember you made Hinata faint first chance you got when you first got here."

"Oh, please." Naruto countered, rolling his eyes. "We both know that Hinata and I are a different case. All I did was smile at her, SMILE at her and she was out like a light. Besides, at least I wasn't hitting on her in front of her family …" Naruto shivered at the thought of getting caught wooing Hinata in front of Hiashi. Even with the Kyūbi, healing powers, and Sage Mode, the blonde doubted he would survive the horrendous beating that Hiashi would give him. He caught a glimpse of the sand dome and paled a bit. "Hey… do you think that Gaara can hear us inside that dome…?"

Shikamaru paled as he understood what Naruto was asking. "… if he can… we're both screwed."

Naruto chuckled nervously. "No, my friend, for once you are wrong. I would simply be blackmailed for all eternity. You, on the other hand, would be royally and unequivocally fucked."

Shikamaru shivered as he comprehended Naruto's explanation. "… Troublesome."

After nearly an hour's worth of waiting and worrying, the sand dome quietly fell on itself and Gaara's moaning ceased. Naruto and Shikamaru sighed for a moment before they were both caught in Gaara's sand and held at his mercy.

"Tell me one good reason why I shouldn't kill the two of you right now." Gaara growled irritably as he got back up. While most people who knew the boy would instantly think he would kill the two anyways regardless of their answer, the pair knew better from the look in the insomniac's eyes.

"Because you know that I'm actually the best possible match for your sister and that I'm useful in whatever happens later." Shikamaru replied with a lazy smirk.

Naruto shrugged as much as he could while encased in the sand. "Because I am very, very pretty?" Gaara growled in irritation as the last of his headache passed away and released the two genin. "Welcome back… Kazekage-sama." Naruto chuckled as he got back up and walked to his close friend.

"… Formalities never did agree with you, Naruto. Stick with what you normally do." Gaara sighed as he straightened himself and looked at Shikamaru. "Are you two the only ones back aside from me, or are there others?"

Shikamaru smirked. "Nice to see you too, Gaara. Yeah. The Third Hokage, Kakashi, my sensei Asuma Sarutobi, the missing-nin Zabuza Momochi, his adopted daughter Haku, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and her assistant Shizune all have their memories back as well. However, Jiraiya, Tsunade and Shizune aren't in the village at the moment, and Tsunade and Shizune will stay out of town in case Orochimaru isn't killed in the invasion and needs to recover from… special wounds like last time."

Gaara frowned for a moment as he looked at the two. "I assume that there are rules regarding getting our memories back?"

They nodded. "We'll explain as much as we can later." Naruto instructed. "For right now, get back to your squad and act like you did before. We're not going to change that much for the first parts of the Exams, but I would practice a bit during my spare time… we're all a bit… stronger than last time." Naruto chuckled evilly, causing Shikamaru to sigh and Gaara to blink.

"I can tell." Gaara mused, giving his hyperactive friend a look over. "You actually look like a halfway competent ninja this time…"

Naruto teared up and sulked near a tree. "That was uncalled for, Gaara." He sniffed, while Shikamaru laughed.

"… I take it he's been getting that frequently from the others?"

"You have no idea." Shikamaru sighed.

Gaara smiled before he remembered something and frowned a bit, getting the attention of the two Konoha genin. "Something wrong?" Naruto asked.

Gaara nodded. "I am curious how we are going to deal with Orochimaru. If I remember correctly, he will kill my father as he travels from Suna to Konoha for the third round… however…"

Naruto and Shikamaru nodded in understanding of Gaara's predicament. "Gaara…" Naruto started, trying to come up with the right thing to say. "… To be honest… that man is not your father… well, in everything but blood, anyways. He used you as an experiment, and decided you were worthless when you did not turn out the way he expected. He even decided to work with Orochimaru and go to war over a petty dispute. If you were to ask me… he is neither worthy of the title of father or Kage… however, if you still wish for him to live… then we will come up with a plan to…"

Gaara sighed. "No… It is quite all right, Naruto. My… father has done things that no respectable man, father, ninja, or Kage would do. For the safety of Sunagakure and its ally Konohagakure, the Fourth Kazekage will die by the traitor Orochimaru's hand."

Naruto and Shikamaru looked at their friend for a moment before nodding in unison. "It is as you wish, Kazekage-sama." They replied in unison.

They spent another half an hour going over a brief overview of their plans and the involvement of the Ōgakari clan before separating across the village to their respective homes, knowing that things were about to get chaotic very soon.

o. o. o.

In another universe:

"Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh." Crypt giggled maniacally as he and Scabbard walked to their certain doom. He had mastered the ninja sealing art in a month and had finished the Hyūga's new bloodline seal a few days beforehand, and was absolutely giddy that they were about to finally enter the world of ninja soon. After all, who spilled more blood than a ninja?

"You're not helping, Crypt." Mumbled Scabbard as he walked through the house to find Waltz and Shadow in order to tell them what the hell he, Ghost and Crypt were up to for the past year. He had also finally completed his friend's technique a few days prior… but no one knew about it, and he was intending to keep it that way for a while. Besides, he had to make sure he would survive the pair's beating after he told them the news. He stopped beside a room that was a few doors down from the original teleporting room. This door was linked to an empty universe, which was perfect for the family to use for full blown training, or for delivering information that would piss one of the family members off big time. "Waltz. Shadow. Come to the private dimension portal. It's important." He spoke through the speakers in the house. That was the good thing about being the one who made all the electronics in the building: he could just tap into whatever system he had made and save him so much effort.

"The private dimension portal?" Waltz grumbled as he walked towards the pair from the end of a hallway. "Something happen?"

"Oh, this should be goooood." Shadow mused as she cracked her knuckles, making Scabbard flinch slightly. "I've been so bored lately. I hope you have some big news, Scabby."

Scabbard sighed. "Yes, I believe it will be quite interesting for you to hear, sister. Now if you will please just enter the portal so you don't blow anything valuable up in your absolute rage before…"

"GhostfoundtheNarutoworldandhe''." Crypt said quickly in one breath with a sick grin on his face as he watched Scabbard pale at a record pace as Shadow and Waltz glared at him with an increasing intensity.

"I hate you, Crypt." Scabbard stated as Shadow grabbed his throat with clawed hands while Crypt laughed hysterically in the background even though Waltz was slowly walking up to him with a dark look in his eyes…

Outside:

It was a beautiful day outside. The sun was out, there were no clouds, the children were playing and the ice cream man was…

" **YOU WHAAAAT?!"** Roared an inhuman voice from one of the buildings in the humble suburbia before the building it originated from blew up in a giant ball of black and blue energy, taking out the, luckily unoccupied, buildings to either side and causing mass chaos all around. Children were crying, the sun was blocked out by dark clouds, and worst of all, the ice cream man's truck was flipped over.

Needless to say, the family would not be allowed back in that town for a while.

And they wouldn't be getting any insurance coverage for the damages, either.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah. I wrote this in three days. Can you smell that? I can. It's my awesomeness… or my brain smoking…

So… pictures… none yet… but still, I'm accepting any submissions as long as they relate to how they look in the story.

Happy thanksgiving folks. And remember… it's Merry. Fucking. Christmas. Not Happy Holidays. I'm Jewish and I think that Happy Holidays is weak, for crying out loud! Bring back the fat man with the elves! He makes everyone feel good about their insecurities!


	27. The calm before the unadulterated CHAOS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 27: The calm before the unadulterated CHAOS

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

Sorry for the wait. Vacation + hw + tests = delay in next chappie.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Shikamaru sighed as he walked back home, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get enough sleep in the upcoming weeks. Whatever happened during the Exams would shape how the rest of the future would form, and he, unfortunately, was one of the people in charge of making sure that all the potential paths were covered and managed. Sure, he had just about enough chakra to take out two of the Sound Four, and sure, he knew just about all of his family's techniques, plus a few water ones for good measure, and sure, his running speed and stealth had increased greatly, but this was dealing with the future for crying out loud. There was only so much he could predict ahead of time.

"Troublesome…" He mused as he opened the door to his home. "I'm back." He called out lazily, hoping that his mother wasn't home.

"Shikamaru." Shikaku answered in a similar lazy fashion as he looked from the kitchen. "Are you done with your training?"

"Yeah." The son replied with a wave of his hand. "Asuma-sensei went easy on us since the Exams are in a few days. We're supposed to be resting so that we're ready. Heh. My kind of training."

"Here, here." The elder snorted before looking at his son again with an expression that unnerved the young genus. "You've been getting more unnerved lately." He commented. "Almost as if you're desperate. You have been training harder than ever these past few weeks, and your eating habits have changed, if only by a bit. Also, you have been staying out late more frequently, either hanging out with Naruto and Ghost, or giving us a vague answer and going to sleep." The man frowned as Shikamaru started to sweat. "What's going to happen during the Chūnin Exams?" Shikaku asked bluntly.

Shikamaru mentally swore to himself as he saw that his father stare at him in conviction. His dad knew that something was up, and the ex-chūnin was kicking himself for not expecting this to happen sooner or later. Noting that panicking was the worst thing he could do at the moment, Shikamaru took in a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen table and sat down across from his father, planning furiously as he did so. Opening his eyes, he sighed. "Troublesome. I was hoping you would just brush my behavior aside as just pre-exam stage fright."

Shikaku snorted. "You? Nervous about the Exams? Boy, the only normal reason why you would get nervous about the Exams would be your mother, and even then you wouldn't be showing this much of a change in your behavior."

Shikamaru grumbled in agreement, mentally blessing his father for at least having this conversation while one of the scariest women he will ever know was absent. "… yeah… well… it's mom we're talking about. I mean, she's no Tsunade Senju or Shadow Ōgakari from what I've heard, but she's still relentless." He paused. "When did you start suspecting that something was up?"

Shikaku made a mental note to ask his son about why he mentioned Tsunade later. "To be honest, from the day I heard that you came in contact with Ghost Ōgakari. Since then, you've had a different look in your eyes. You've been trying to train when no one was paying attention, and come hell or your mother's wrath, you don't train willingly unless something big is about to happen."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed as he tried to figure out a way to tell his dad without actually telling him; that way, he could hide several key details. "I can't tell you anything specifically, dad…" He started, getting a frown from his dad. "I'm not allowed to, and even you can't shake the info out of me without getting into trouble…" ' _Hint one.'_ The genius mused. "… but I can give you some things to think about." He continued, noting that his father was analyzing everything he was saying. "You were right in thinking the Ōgakari were involved, but they are on our side, do not be mistaken about that. Even though they are a bit… loose at times, as you have no doubt already noted that from your encounters with them in the council meetings…"

"Please don't remind me…" Shikaku groaned, remembering all the times he had to use his Shadow Imitation technique to restrain Tsume from gutting the giddy Ghost as he continued to goof around.

Shikamaru smiled. "Well, don't you think that things have been changing around the village via the same means over the past year?"

Shikaku's eyes widened as Shikamaru's word's registered and he remembered all the chaos Ghost and his group had caused for the clans and the ANBU for fun. The pranks were done so frequently that the Hokage had ordered all the clans and ANBU to do mandatory proficiency training in order to make sure that that they were not getting lax in their skills. Said training rarely impacted the pranks pulled, mind you, but it did cause a higher number of the ninja in the clans to become more proficient in their respective arts recently, as well as more capable in defensive strategies.

Many of the trading agreements that the Ōgakari clan have been creating were also rather odd. Instead of focusing on financial benefits, they have been more focused toward improving each clan's capabilities and limits through various means. That store, Higurashi's, was making a _major_ profit from their new sealed kunai series, and the weapons and equipment that Scabbard Ōgakari produced were supposedly among the highest quality ever made. Many of the jōnin that he drank with had at least one piece of Scabbard's work, and all of them attested to their reliability and endurance.

Word on the street was also that Ghost's training program had not only produced the finest batch of genin since the Sannin, and not only were their teachers becoming far more proficient in their fields, but that the program was slowly bleeding into other years as well and yielding impressive, if not yet as astounding as initial group's, results.

This meant that Ghost was subliminally preparing the village's ninja for something, raising their overall quality and defensive skills. So this must mean that there will be an attack in the near future… and all the secrecy, even from the council, meant that the information on the invasion was very circumstantial, or that there's a spy, or both, meaning that spreading word of the upcoming bloodbath would be the worst possible thing to do, even if it was only in the shinobi community.

Shikamaru's behavior and manner of speech indicated that it will happen during the Chūnin Exams… no, not that soon. It wouldn't make sense to do something big while so many ninja from other countries, as well as all the high level jōnin sensei there to protect their students, were in one place; too many factors to account for. Too much room for error.

… It would have to take place during the third part of the Exams. That would make more sense. Almost all the ninja in the village would be at the coliseum, and the possibility of killing the Daimyō of Fire country in the middle of the Leaf village would be too good to pass up, to say nothing of the other notable personages that would be present.

But then why would Shikamaru be this nervous, unless something else would be happening during the first two stages of the Exams? How could the Ōgakari know of this information so early on, and yet still be so confident that it was reliable? Several dozen questions flew through the scarred man's head for a few moments, before he looked back at his son and noted that he had a look in his eyes that should not be there.

Eyes of experience, that to his knowledge did not or should not exist yet. Shikaku sighed. "After the Exams are over, if we both make it out of it alive, there will be explaining to be done. From you AND Ghost."

Shikamaru smirked. "That's better than I hoped. I can't wait to make him suffer a bit. Troublesome bastard has had it coming for a while…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"Ah, the nightlife in Konoha." Ghost sighed as he walked down one of the more active areas in the village alongside Anko and Hana. "It's no Vegas, but then again, what is?"

"Vegas?" Hana asked curiously.

Ghost smirked. "Think of a city that embodies all the things that Tsunade and Jiraiya are famous for, then multiply it by the number of times Tsunade has nearly neutered Jiraiya, and that's pretty much it."

Anko laughed out loud. "Sounds like my kind of place…"

Ghost shrugged. "Almost. You still get in trouble for maiming people, regardless of whether or not they bugged you first, or deserved it."

"Damn it." Anko grumbled as Hana giggled.

"Ghost Ōgakari?" A deep voice asked from their side.

"Hn?" Ghost responded, turning to the voice to see a pair of Kusa-nin a few feet from a bar's entrance, a large man with an imposing figure and a woman with large breasts and blue hair. "Yeah… wait… you two look familiar…"

"Holy crap. You were right, Kuma." Rika mused as she looked at Ghost. "It _is_ that bastard that killed Gatō…"

"Do you know these two, Ghost?" Hana asked curiously.

Ghost shrugged. "More or less. You could say we've crossed paths before." He turned to the pair. "What's up, guys? No hard feelings about taking out your client?" The five noted that there were several shinobi and civilians listening in on their conversation.

Kuma sighed. "No… I'm not one to hold a grudge. Besides, we were on the verge of killing him ourselves. How about we talk about this in the bar?"

Anko grinned. "Sure, I was looking to get plastered tonight anyways."

Hana groaned. "You're always plastered, Anko."

Rika looked at Anko in curiosity. "You look familiar… wait, did he say Anko? As in Anko Mitarashi, the Snake Mistress of Konoha?"

Anko smirked. "Yep. Do you want an autograph?"

Rika shrugged as the group walked into the bar. "Nah. I personally think that the rumors about you are blown way out of proportion."

Anko developed a tick mark as Hana groaned. "Oh? This coming from some no-name tramp from Kusa…"

Kuma sighed. "Ladies, please. We're not here to start a fight…"

"Not yet, anyways." Ghost added in. "Wait for them to get nice and intoxicated before setting them on each other. I haven't seen a good catfight in ages. From the way these two act, I doubt their clothes would last ten seconds."

Rika turned to Ghost with an irritated look. "I learned how to spit acid." She said angrily.

Ghost paled immediately and crawled into the corner of a nearby table that had enough room for six people. "IT BURNNNNNSSSSS! WHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!" The other four sighed as they immediately became the center of attention in the bar and sat across from each other. Somehow, Ghost ended up between Hana and Anko in the process without anyone noticing.

Hana sighed as she turned to the two guests. "You must be the guys that were in Wave, then. Sorry about his behavior, but there really isn't anything we can do about it yet."

Rika chuckled evilly. "Don't worry about it. Seeing him react like that is more than worth it."

"Ah, a fellow kunoichi after my own heart." Anko mock sighed before turning to the bartender. "Oi! Kenichi! Make yourself useful and get us some drinks!"

"I take it you drink here frequently." Kuma mused as Ghost slowly recovered.

Hana shrugged. "Not as often as you might think. It just so happens that the bar owner is an ex-ninja and that we tend to give a lasting impression." Ghost and Anko coughed. "Okay, you two give off lasting impressions." She sighed.

"Feh. You guys aren't the only ones." Rika grumbled. "I still want to get even with that blonde brat for what happened at the bridge."

Anko chuckled with a sadistic grin. "Ohohohooo. So YOU'RE the one the brat beat on the mission, eh? Tough, getting beaten by a genin on his first non D-ranked mission, isn't it?"

"Yep." Ghost confirmed childishly before Rika could say anything. "Blondie played her like a flute."

"Acid spit." Rika replied quickly, resulting in Ghost having another mental breakdown before turning to Anko. "The brat just got lucky, that's all there was to it. If I see him in the field again, I will take him down and then some… seen better, my ass…" She grumbled.

Hana sighed as tried to calm down Ghost. "I wouldn't be too sure about that. Naruto is Ghost's apprentice for a reason. A few of us are even thinking of recommending him to be promoted to special jōnin as soon as he becomes a chūnin."

Kuma blinked a couple of times before looking at Ghost. "Odd, I thought that Uzumaki was Kakashi's student…"

Hana shrugged. "He is, but he's also Ghost's apprentice. You can tell by how the pair act. To be honest, Anko and I have learned a few things from Ghost as well."

Rika paused, a bit unnerved. "… Does that mean the brat knows that War Scars technique too?" The more experienced ninja in the group noticed that they had the attention of several people in the bar now, but decided to play dumb at the moment.

Anko cocked her head. "War Scars?"

Kuma frowned. "It was the technique that your friend here used to kill our client. I have honestly never encountered or heard of a jutsu of its like before…"

Ghost sighed. "Don't worry about it. The brat's still a long way from being able to even think about performing War Scars. It is one of my personal secret techniques, after all."

"Oh, give me a break…" Grumbled a random ninja as he and two others walked towards the group, all of them noticeably drunk. "That worthless weakling wouldn't be able kill a bug if he stepped on it. War Scars? Probably some kind of weak and pathetic jutsu that can barely do anything."

"Do I know you?" Anko asked with a hint of venom in her voice.

"No, and I'm glad you don't, snake whore." The man's female companion snorted, getting a murderous look from Anko.

Ghost smirked before deliberately acting like an idiot again. "Oh, hey guys! I haven't seen you in a while! No hard feelings about that little challenge of yours that I won a few weeks ago?"

The three frowned in rage. "You cheated and you know it!" The man's other partner shouted accusingly.

Ghost shrugged. "What? I just assumed that since you guys ARE ninja that you would expect something like that to happen. I mean, you didn't specify that I couldn't do what I did, so I thought it was all fair game. You should really be more specific about those kinds of things."

"Friends of yours?" Kuma asked with an inquisitive tone.

Ghost smiled. "More like acquaintances. They were curious about my skills and decided to test me out. Apparently, I didn't show off as much as they wanted me to, though."

"Bullshit!" The leader ranted. "You've been making all of us in the assassination and stealth department look bad ever since you got here! There's no way all those missions you did in a week were S-ranked targets. You probably paid the old man to increase the rank so that you would be more popular! You didn't even accomplish our test!"

"But I did follow the rules." Ghost whined childishly as everyone stared at him, almost ignoring the fact that the three guests had at one point or another scratched their ears. "You said that I had to get a bell of each color and pass the finish line before you guys did. You never said I had to do the obstacle courses in order to get them, so I just waited for each of them to approach the finish line, scared them a little bit to distract them while my clones stole their respective bell, and walked across the finish line with all three bells while they only had two each. Since they didn't have all three bells when they crossed the end point, they didn't win, even if I was the last to cross it. Aren't ninja supposed to do stuff like that?"

"Why you!" Shouted the male follower as he charged at Ghost, only to be stopped by the leader.

"Don't bother. He's just trying to make you look like an idiot… like that brat of an apprentice of his." The man smirked.

"What? He is a bit of an idiot at times. Besides, a little constructive criticism never hurt anyone…" Ghost shrugged as Anko and Hana started to get tick marks.

"Do you have any real reason to come bug us?" Hana asked irritably.

The leader snorted. "I just wanted to put this idiot in his place, bitch. He's been doing nothing but causing trouble ever since he got here, and yet he struts around like he owns the entire village!"

"But it's the only way I know how to strut." Ghost moaned childishly, getting a snort from Rika and Kuma.

Meanwhile, at the mention of the 'b-word', Hana momentarily stilled before she began audibly growling, her canines lengthening unconsciously. After the … 'examples' that had been made in the past, any Konoha-nin with functioning brains knew better than to use 'that word' in front of an Inuzuka, let alone use it describe one. For the moment, Ghost's hand on her leg was an adequate restraint, but not for long.

The man glared at Ghost with cold, yet glazed eyes. "… I was going to start with your monster of an apprentice, but I think I'll start with you instead…" The man quickly took out a kunai, getting the attention of everyone with ninja training in the bar, and was about to charge an undisturbed Ghost when he suddenly collapsed, unconscious, banging his head as he hit the floor. Moments later, his female partner collapsed as well, to the shock of the third member of their group.

"Huh." Ghost mused with a not so hidden grin on his face. "I guess your friends had too much to drink, don't you think?" The man was shaking as he stared at Ghost. "You might want to take them home. Who knows what would happen if you just left them here…"

Faster than anyone would have expected, the man took his two partners and rushed out of the building, leaving the entire area in silence. Anko sighed before noticing that Ghost was still smiling like a child that had just gotten away with something big. She sighed again. "All right. Spill it, Ghost. What did you do?"

Ghost chuckled evilly as a shadow clone of his crawled out from under their table, holding three wallets in its hands. "A ROUND OF BEER FOR EVERYONE ON ME!" He shouted with gusto as his clone held out the three wallets as if they were trophies, getting a cheer and laughter from everyone listening and returning the bar to its previous mood.

"What else?" Hana sighed, knowing Ghost enough to know that he wouldn't just settle for simple pick pocketing.

Ghost smiled. "Heheheh. Oh, I just took off the panties of the girl there and slipped it into one of the pockets of the guy taking them back home…"

"Impressive." Kuma chuckled as the group got their drinks served.

"How the hell did you knock those two out, anyways?" Rika mused. "Your clone couldn't do anything big, or else it would have been noticed…"

Ghost sighed as he took a drink of booze. "I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." He replied in an unconvincing tone. He was brought out of his thoughts as his other hand was grabbed by Anko and raised so that it was away from her legs. "You're getting better." He mused in an impressed tone before he smirked, put down his drink, and opened his other hand to reveal a pink lace thong, much to Kuma's and Rika's surprise. "But you're just not that good yet…" He smirked before the de-pantied Snake Mistress slammed his head into the table, knocking the poor pervert out cold.

"What?" Anko asked curiously. "He should know better than to do that when he's within arm's reach."

Hana blinked. "I'm more surprised in the fact that you actually caught him in the act this time." She mused. "Most of the time you can't even tell he's gone up your skirt until he's holding your underwear in front of your face."

"So he's a perverted kleptomaniac gone horribly wrong… nice." Rika sighed as she took a swig of booze.

Anko shrugged. "It's not all that bad. My reaction time and awareness have gone through the roof since he started this. It's not like I don't mind playing dirty every once in a while."

"So I'm assuming that you two are here for the Chūnin Exams as well?" Hana asked curiously, turning the conversation towards more serious topics.

"Yeah." Kuma replied gruffly. "Kusa is smaller than the five main ninja villages, so occasionally we have special jōnin take on genin teams so that we have enough jōnin to cover the high priority missions our village gets. I actually just got promoted to jōnin from special jōnin a few weeks ago, and I'm here to see how my genin team does during these exams… although I'm also curious as to how Kakashi's team does. Those three really impressed me back in Wave…"

"Impressed, my ass." Rika grumbled. "You were musing about the entire thing for two weeks after we got back home. Those brats nearly toasted all of us with that Firestorm technique of theirs before we could even make a move. I'm honestly wondering if your kids are going to make it out of the Exams alive, Kuma."

"You two were on the wrong end of a Firestorm?" Hana winced. "Ouch."

"Don't worry." Kuma grumbled. "I've told my students to make sure to watch out for that team in particular. Aside from them, the other teams should be manageable… hopefully." He grinned with a hint of sadism.

"Now that's the evil giant that I've come to know and love." Rika grinned as she gave the large man a quick kiss on the cheek.

The four continued talking and raving about their students and about old missions for several hours (Anko's blow to Ghost's head having knocked him out for the entire time), before the group decided that they would leave soon.

"Excuse me for a moment." Kuma slurred after downing his nth glass of booze. "I gotta go water the plants."

"Ugh…" Ghost moaned, picking his head up, reminding everyone there that he was somehow still alive. "Good idea. I gotta go too… how much did I drink? Everything's all spinny… and stuff…" The four sweat dropped as they noticed the large puddle of blood that Ghost's head was resting in moments earlier.

After doing their business, Kuma and Ghost were washing their hands next to each other when the last person in the restroom left. "… He looks a lot like his father." Kuma mused out loud.

Ghost smirked. "So you know? Kakashi suspected as much…"

Kuma replied the smirk with his own. "I was rescued by the man enough times to see the resemblance. I'm surprised that no one else in the village could tell as well, considering…"

"People see what they want to see and nothing else…" Ghost interrupted, indicating that someone might be eavesdropping. "And secrets seem to have a habit of surrounding him… ones that are not yet ready to be revealed just yet…"

Kuma nodded as he dried his hands. "I see." His face darkened. "One secret might be uncovered soon from the Earth… unfortunately. My apologies. Alcohol can loosen even the tightest tongue, and I was not careful about where I spoke."

Ghost frowned. "How much is known?"

Kuma sighed. "Luckily only enough to cause small suspicions, rumors at best, as I managed to remember to be vague at the time. However, it is enough to possibly warrant some concern…"

Ghost nodded as he dried his hands. "Thanks for the heads up… to be honest, I was guessing that he would get some notice from that part of the shinobi world pretty soon, anyways."

Kuma frowned. "Aren't you worried for his well-being? An entire nation could be after his head in a matter of months."

Ghost smirked. "You just worry about your own students and I'll worry about mine." He paused at the door. "… just a bit of a warning though, you might want to keep your eyes open while in town… you came at a very interesting time…"

Kuma frowned as he saw the door close behind Ghost. Dozens of questions popped up in his head at a fast speed, but for right now he knew that he should focus on the one that mattered most at the moment: what the hell was going to happen during the Exams?

o. o. o.

The next morning:

"Please?" A young girl's voice moaned throughout the village.

"No." Bellowed out a deep, menacing, and very tired voice.

"Pretty please?"

"For the hundredth time, no!"

"Can I touch it? Just a little?"

"What part of no don't you understand?"

"But its sooooo big!"

"What is wrong with you, child?"

"But I can make it sooo much bigger and stronger…" The young girl moaned in a seductive voice, gaining more attention from the surrounding villagers.

"Damn it girl! The villagers are staring at us!" The man yelled in a somewhat panicking tone.

"I can't help it." She moaned. "Every time I look at it, I get weak in the knees. It's just so huge and sooo shiny…"

"Why do I have the feeling that I'm going to be arrested for pedophilia today?" The man groaned in frustration.

"Kukukukukukuku." Laughed a deep voice from the crowd as a pair of yellow eyes watching the pair.

"What the fuck was that?!" The man panicked, now scared for his life.

"I just wanna take it home and **smash** it with a hammer…" The girl chuckled with a sadistic tone, causing every man near her to run away from her franticly. (A/N: Every time I read this part, I burst out laughing. I just can't help it.)

"Like hell you will!" Zabuza shouted/screamed as he ran throughout the village with Tenten right behind him with a dangerous look in her eyes.

"Give me your beautiful sword, old man!" The girl shouted as she held a hammer in one hand and a brush with ink in the other.

"Who the hell are you calling old man?!" Zabuza yelled back. "For your information, I'm 26!"

"Like anyone can tell with those bandages around your face anyways, now give me that sexy piece of metal on your back!" Tenten shouted, regressing more and more as the chase went on.

"NEVERRRRR!" Zabuza claimed as the pair dashed past the rest of Team Gai.

"It seems that Tenten and Zabuza-sensei are both burning with the flames of youth today." Lee commented. "It is a shame that I am not able to partake in their activities, as I am to rest until the Exams begin…"

"Aren't you supposed to meet Shikamaru later today and cloud watch again?" Neji asked inquisitively. Ever since Lee had designated his resting days, he had been spending more and more time with the Nara. Apparently, watching clouds was now on the extremely short list of things that could shut Lee up for long periods of time.

"Yes!" Lee shouted. "Shikamaru-kun and I are to watch the clouds all day! And if I cannot do that then I will…"

"Yes, yes, insert random challenge." Neji sighed, interrupting Lee before he could go on one of his self-challenge lists again. The Hyūga paused for a moment, remembering what Ghost had mentioned about the boy during the dinner a month before. He was curious about the boy that Ghost claimed was one of the three genin in his age group that was supposed to be clearly above his level. "… Would it be all right if I came along?" Neji asked hesitantly.

Lee turned to his teammate with a grin on his face, the light reflecting off his teeth in a Gai-ish fashion. "It would be no problem at all, my friend."

Neji sighed as he followed Lee to the designated hill. "Friend… huh?" He murmured to himself as he started to think about the Exams.

o. o. o.

In another universe:

"Will you hurry up, Scab!?" Shadow hissed anxiously, seemingly ignoring the police sirens, helicopter sounds, and dogs barking around the building they were hiding in, while the three almost sane people in the building ignored a hysterically laughing Crypt. "I wanna play ninja!"

"Oh sure, dear sister…" Scabbard replied sarcastically and irritably as the large dimensional device in front of the group slowly molded itself from scraps of metal and large bolts of electricity. "The sound of your obnoxiously loud voice will instantly cause me to work faster and more efficiently while the sound of our impending incarceration has little to no effect on me at all… completely ignoring the fact that creating a trans-dimensional portal device from rusted scrap metal is among the most difficult tasks that can be possibly done, even for me…"

Shadow smiled. "See. That's the spirit! Now keep working!"

"As much as I enjoy our family bonding time…" Waltz said nervously as he maintained the barrier surrounding the building, keeping the cops at bay. "Can we please remember that we are on nearly every television station in the country as WANTED TERRORISTS?!"

Shadow pouted. "What? It's not like it was my fault that the people here thought that the house was blown up by some terrorist plot or anything…"

"Yes it was." Crypt managed to breathe out before Shadow punted him, accidentally launching him into the half done dimension portal, causing a huge surge of energy to be released and bolts of electricity shooting off everywhere.

"Fuck! It's gonna…!" Scabbard shouted as he backed up from his failed creation.

BOOOOOM! The entire building exploded in a huge ball of emerald fire, taking out the barrier that Waltz had erected but luckily not killing anyone.

Several dozen miles away, the four now extremely well done immortals lay in their respective craters, all on the border of unconsciousness. "… All in favor of beating the shit out of Ghost when we finally meet up with him?" Waltz proposed.

"Aye." Groaned the other three at once.

"All in favor of maiming Shadow after we grow our skin back?" Scabbard proposed.

"Aye." Crypt and Waltz said in unison.

"Nay." Shadow groaned.

"You're outvoted. The meeting is now closed due to mass third degree burns and severe internal bleeding." Scabbard claimed as he and the rest of the family promptly passed out.

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"So what's it like living in the Ōgakari compound?" Ino asked Haku as they and Chōji walked down the shopping district streets with their (Chōji's) arms full of bags. "Is it true that they have weird experiments going on in the basements, or that they have a secret dungeon where they torture people that get in their way?"

Haku laughed nervously. "Actually, it's pretty nice there. There is a dungeon, of sorts… but…" She looked away with a heavy blush, "It's not really that kind of dungeon. As for the basement, it's pretty big, and there's a massive training area down there as well, but Zabuza-sama and I normally just train outside. They have a lot of things in there that look complicated to use as well, but Ghost-san seems to use them as if they were no problem at all. Experiment wise, Ghost-san hasn't really done anything aside from trying new cooking recopies, try and make new music, and train privately with Hana-san and Anko-san… in both meanings of interpretation…"

Ino blushed as Chōji stumbled, nearly dropping his massive load. He was thankful for Gai and Ghost-sensei's training over the past six months, as he doubted he could have held this much beforehand, let alone keep up with the two girls. "I… heard that the other sensei are learning a lot from each other from the program." He added in. "Asuma-sensei has been sparring a lot with Kakashi-sensei and Gai-sensei when we're with the others, and I heard from him that Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei are almost at their level thanks to the private lessons that Ghost-sensei is giving them."

"Really?" Ino asked curiously. "I'm Anko-sensei's apprentice and she hasn't told me that yet…"

"You shouldn't really be that surprised." Haku mused. "We are shinobi after all. Secrets are part of our work. I have occasionally sparred with Anko-san and Hana-san myself and can tell that they are easily a jōnin level ninja. Possibly even elite jōnin if they gain more experience. The new techniques they developed with Ghost-san are very powerful and efficient."

The two genin raised their eyebrows. "You know, I've never seen Ghost-sensei actually fight." Ino mused. "I mean, all he ever does is run around and plant exploding cow models around us. He's never actually fought anyone aside from what we heard about Gai-sensei's fight… and there's only so much we can believe coming out of that man's mouth."

"Yeah." Chōji agreed. "I mean, he's helped us out a lot with our own personal styles, but we've never really seen anything of his."

"I've fought Ghost-san." Haku stated, getting the pair's attention immediately.

"Really?" They asked at once, causing the elder teen to sweat drop.

"Erm. Yeah." She laughed nervously. "It's probably like you guessed; he's really fast and agile. So much so that it's very difficult to hit him, even with my bloodline limit and paired up with Zabuza-sama… he's actually better at Silent Killing than Zabuza-sama is, which was very surprising for the both of us."

"We already know that." Ino groaned. "He's always sneaking around us and dodging everything we throw at him. None of the sensei, or Naruto, will tell us how he actually FIGHTS, though."

Haku looked up thoughtfully. "Well, I don't know how he does it, but he can break the ice created by my jutsu fairly quickly just by touching them. Whatever I make just shatters into dust within seconds. It's actually one of my training methods with him, seeing how long they can last while in contact with him. From what I can tell, it's like he's shifting and disturbing the entire structure of my ice at once and causing it to collapse on itself."

"Cool." Chōji mused.

Ino's eyes were sparkling at the new gossip information. "Really?! Anything else?!"

Haku stepped back nervously. "Erm… I don't know if you know this already, but he uses a pair of short customized swords too…"

Ino and Chōji stopped. "He uses swords?" They murmured.

Haku sighed. "Yeah, but his style is so ambiguous and random that it's almost impossible to follow. It's something you have to see for yourself in order to understand." She looked down the road to see the Yamanaka flower shop. "Hey Ino, didn't you say that you got some new potent herbal plants in the latest shipment?"

Ino snapped out of her thoughts momentarily to answer Haku's question. "Oh. Erm. Yeah. They just came in from Snow country, so they're pretty rare."

"Oh yeah." Chōji mused. "You're working at Ino's family's flower shop part time, aren't you Haku?"

Haku blushed. "Yes. I've always had a thing for medicinal plants, and the Yamanaka were kind enough to employ me until Zabuza-sama's and my parole end at the conclusion of the Chūnin Exams."

"Don't be so modest, Haku." Ino scoffed. "Mom and Dad were really impressed by how much you knew about various wild plants and their medicinal properties. They told me that you could work here full time if you wanted to."

Haku smiled. "You're too kind, Ino-chan. All I know was really learned from trial and error from living as a missing-nin for so long with Zabuza-sama."

Ino snorted. "Yeah, right. If that was the case, then you wouldn't have been able to inform my parents so much about plants they thought they had known all about already. Stop downplaying yourself, Haku."

"Hey guys?" Chōji interrupted. "Who are those three people in front of the store? I've never seen them before. They're dressed differently too."

Haku and Ino turned to see the Sand triplets looking at the Yamanaka flower shop with different expressions on their faces. Temari had stars in her eyes, as it was one of the few times she had been able to see so many exotic and beautiful flowers in one place. Kankuro was sniveling in disgust and… allergies, apparently. Who knew? Gaara on the other hand was still as emotionless as ever, but he seemed to be… relaxed would be the closest word.

"Eeeeee." Temari squealed. "So many beautiful flowers! We rarely have this many kinds back home aside from the ones in the medicinal greenhouses. They smell so gooooood."

"Smells like overkill." Kankuro sniffled. "I can hardly breathe near this place, Temari. You know I have allergic reactions to pollen."

"Well then, this will be great training for you to get over it, won't it?" Temari asked in an irritable tone as she continued to worship the flowers.

"It is… different." Gaara commented, getting his sibling's attention. "Not annoying, not pleasant… just new."

"Isn't that a Suna headband?" Ino commented as they continued down to the shop.

"Yeah… wait, didn't Naruto say something about a red headed guy from Suna with a gourd?" Chōji asked. "Something about him being really strong?"

Ino smirked, much to Haku's and Chōji's fear. "Well there's only one way to find out then, isn't there?"

Chōji moaned in fear. "Ino, one day you're going to get us all killed."

Ignoring her teammate, Ino ran ahead to the triplets. "Excuse me. Can I help you?" She asked with a smile.

Temari turned around to see Ino standing to her side. "Ah! Sorry." She stumbled. "I'm just busy looking at the flowers. They're all so beautiful and smell so good…"

"Speak for yourself." Kankuro sneezed.

Temari glared at her puppeteer of a brother. "… sorry about him. He's an idiot that is only good with playing with his dolls. Do you work here?"

Ino grinned. "Yeah. My family actually owns the store. Hold on a minute, my friends are catching up to me and one of them works here part time. Haku! Get your asexual butt over here!"

Haku blushed. "Ino, I thought I told you to stop calling me those things." She turned to the Sand triplets. "Hello. My name is Haku Momochi, and I work here part time."

"And I'm their pack mule." Grumbled Chōji as he walked into the building with the girl's shopping spoils.

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Momochi? … I have heard of a swordsman from Kiri with the same last name. Are you by chance related to him?"

Temari and Kankuro tensed as they waited to see how Haku would react. Said girl simply smiled and turned to Gaara. "Yes. You are thinking of Zabuza Momochi, my adoptive father and ex-member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist."

Gaara nodded slowly, ignoring everyone else in the room as he and Haku acknowledged each other's presence and confirmed that they were in on the time traveling plot with a look into each other's eyes. "You are strong… a jōnin?"

Temari and Kankuro tensed up even more as Haku sighed. "No, not yet. I am still under watch by the village until my parole is finished, when I will be instated as a special jōnin. I am still training in the meantime, though."

Gaara blinked. "I see. … I look forward to fighting you someday… perhaps you can prove to be a challenge…"

"Oh, you guys are here for the Chūnin Exams too?" Ino asked off handedly, making a mental note that Kankuro and Temari seemed to be scared shitless of Gaara. "What a coincidence, my team is too."

"Oh great," Moaned Kankuro, desperately trying to ignore the presence of his unknowingly ex-homicidal little brother. "Another loud mouthed blonde. As if living with one wasn't bad enough."

"Oh, so you're the guys that Shikamaru met a few days ago." Ino mused as Temari bashed Kankuro's skull in with her fan.

"Oh?" Temari asked. "That lazy bastard is on your team?"

Ino shrugged. "Yeah. Shikamaru, Chōji and I are on the same team, just like our dads, although it does get annoying at times, being on the same team as a guy that does nothing but watch clouds all day long and a giant…" She paused as Chōji walked in through the door. "Erm. You get the idea."

Temari cried anime tears as she held on to Ino. "I know just what you mean, my sister. My team is made up of me and my two brothers: a spoiled makeup wearing kabuki wannabe bastard and an emotionless killing machine. Do you know how hard it is to get a decent date back home?!"

Ino nodded sagely as she led Temari to one of the back doors. "Come, my comrade. You are in much need of gossiping."

Kankuro and Gaara blinked in confusion as the door closed behind the two girls. "What (achoo!) just happened?" Kankuro asked in a daze.

"It's called girls." Chōji grunted as he walked out the same door that Ino and Temari just entered. "And we men will never completely understand them."

"Hey, that's mean." Haku pouted.

"Sorry, Haku." He chuckled. "Anyways, I've been stuck carrying two girl's worth of clothes shopping for roughly four hours and I am starving. You guys like Korean barbecue?"

"Oh hell yes! Beef all the way! Just get me the hell away from here!" Kankuro ranted.

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't we wait for our teammates?"

Chōji shook his head. "If we do, we'll be here all day, trust me. You coming too, Haku?"

Haku smiled and nodded. "I don't see why not. I don't start working here for another couple of hours, so I have plenty of time to kill.

"Sweet. I know just the place. Follow me guys!" Chōji shouted as he ran out the door, prompting the other three to follow him.

"Wow. He moves pretty fast for a fa-" Kankuro started before getting hit in the stomach by Haku.

"Sorry." She apologized. "But that word is taboo near Chōji. Believe me; you don't want to call him that…"

"Duly noted." Gaara droned as they ran through the village. The longer he stayed in the village, the more Gaara wished he could just stay here instead of going back to Suna, where the villagers were once again scared shitless of his presence.

Another thing that he was pondering about was Haku. He remembered that Naruto would occasionally talk about him… or her, apparently, with great detail and respect. He could tell she was a strong warrior, but more importantly, he could tell that she had the same look in her eyes as he, Naruto, and Sasuke did. He wasn't lying when he said that he wanted to fight her at some point. If what Naruto said about her skills were true, she would be a great challenge to defeat indeed, depending on the location of said fight of course…

o. o. o.

Elsewhere:

Kakashi and Sarutobi were glaring at each other with rage in their eyes. If a normal person had walked into the Hokage's office at that moment, they would have almost instantly passed out due to the amount of killing intent floating around the room.

"I'm telling you Hokage-SAMA, that the scenes in this arc are far more detailed and explicit than in those of the latest Icha-Icha, let alone plot and character development!" Kakashi roared while pointing to the latest sci-fi/porn book he was reading, mentally thanking all that was holy that the Hokage had set up his privacy seals beforehand.

"And I'm telling you Kakashi-KUN, that Jiraiya's writing skills have vastly improved compared to last time, and that the Icha-Icha series has become the greatest thing I have ever read!" The old man shouted back with valor.

"Sci-fi!"

"Icha-Icha!'

"Sci-fi!"

"Icha-Icha!'

"Sci-fi!"

"Icha-Icha!'

"Boobies!" Ghost shouted from the side of the room, causing both men to jump in shock.

"Damn it, Ghost!" Hiruzen shouted. "I almost dispelled!"

Kakashi snorted. "Well then, I wonder what the public would say if the Hokage not only left a clone to do his paperwork, but even said clone was too distracted by a conversation about explicit literature to get the job done?"

"You know that your name would be dragged through the mud as well." The clone stated nervously.

"It would be so worth it, though…" Kakashi chuckled evilly.

"Um guys?" Ghost waved his hands. "Important info here?"

"Fine." The clone grumbled. "What is it?"

Ghost sighed as he got back into his moderately serious demeanor. "We may have some more problems later on than first anticipated."

Kakashi frowned. "How so?"

Ghost turned to Kakashi. "Kuma's here." Kakashi raised an eyebrow in surprise. "And he told me some very interesting things."

The clone frowned. "This better not be a complaint about what Kusagakure has decided to call you…"

Ghost paled as he hit himself on the forehead. "Damn it! I knew I forgot to ask him something!"

"Ghost!" Kakashi shouted. "Focus!"

Ghost chuckled. "Right, sorry." He took in a deep breath. "Okay. First off, Kuma's here, which means that he has a genin team here. This automatically warrants some concern, since snake face killed and stood in for one of the Kusa teams. I don't know how this will affect things for the exams, but there is a chance that it will prompt the pedophile to masquerade as another team, or it may cause some unneeded tension between Konoha and Kusa. I already gave Kuma a warning that something may happen, so in the case that things go like last time, he won't start sneaking around places he shouldn't be and will come to me or Kakashi directly."

The listeners frowned as they contemplated the information. "Kakashi, do you think that your friend will act in an offensive manner if he learns that something happened to his students from right under his nose?"

Kakashi shook his head. "Kuma was never the type to act on impulses or rage. He is like me personality-wise, so he shouldn't take his anger out on us so quickly."

Ghost cocked an eyebrow. "How did you guys manage to deal with Kusa the first time around? The genin were clearly killed before the second part of the Exams, and Orochimaru was involved with the entire thing…"

The clone sighed. "Before the genin entered the Forest of Death, they were required to sign a waiver that would absolve Konoha of responsibility in the case that they died. Even though Orochimaru and his two unnamed partners did not have the Sharingan, they were still capable of mimicing their respective signatures enough to fool the entire village."

"A blessing and a curse, I guess." Kakashi mused. "I don't like it, but if it gets out of hand, we will have to tell Kuma what is going on to some extent."

The clone nodded. "Keep your eyes on him later, just in case." It turned to Ghost again. "You said first, which means that there is more bad news."

Ghost sighed as he bowed his head. "Well, the other thing that we should worry about is something that Kuma told me in private… first of all, he knows that Naruto is Minato's kid. He probably could tell right off the bat after seeing the brat with Kakashi." The clone and Kakashi nodded slowly, not knowing where this was going. "The problem is that apparently Kuma got a bit tipsy one night and may have been overheard by someone from Iwa…"

"No…" The clone paled.

"Shit…" Kakashi swore.

"We can't be too sure how much was known considering that Kuma was drunk at the time…" Ghost started off carefully, "But he claims that he managed to be vague enough at the time to lower the credibility. He told me that according to him, the information would be at most rumor worthy, but we shouldn't take any chances regardless. I know for a fact that there aren't any Iwa genin in these Chūnin Exams, but we can't rule out the possibility that there might be some visitors from the Land of Earth for the third section, and if we attempt to do anything to bar them, it might have an effect on the invasion. The best we can do is train Naruto so that he will not need to be rely on Rasengan or the toad summoning during the invasion, as that would only put a nail in his coffin."

The clone frowned. "Are we still going to use Rasenshuriken to…?"

Ghost nodded. "That part will still be the same. Zabuza will be with him, so he will be properly hidden during the time, but we may have to change his training during the month between the second and third parts of the Exams. I suggest that we…"

Ghost was interrupted by a knocking at the door. The clone undid the silencing seals and called out to his secretary. "Yes? What is so important that you are interrupting my meeting?"

The door opened to reveal the Toad Sage Jiraiya walking in with a frown on his face. "Old man, we have to talk. It's about…"

"If it's about the legacy and the dirt, we were just talking about it." Ghost interrupted, getting a shocked and scared look from the Toad Sage. "The seal, if you please." He asked, as the clone set the seal up again. Ghost smirked. "I see you healed well."

"No thanks to you." The man growled. "Now I assume that you are aware of the rumors all around Iwa that there's a kid that looks like the Fourth running about in the Leaf…"

"Yeah. I got word of it last night from the guy that accidentally let his tongue slip in the first place. To be frank, we have nothing to worry about until the invasion starts, and so we were about to talk about how his training will differ from the original plan…"

The clone cocked an eyebrow. "Weren't you going to give him to your sister so he could control the Kyūbi's power more efficiently?"

Ghost nodded. "Yeah, but we need something more subtle now that people are going to be keeping a sharper eye on him. If word gets out that he's the Kyūbi's jinchūriki, then it will only be a matter of time before someone in Iwa puts two and two together. He was bound to get recognized eventually, but I was hoping that he would be a bit stronger before then. And before you ask Jiraiya, he's already an elite jōnin overall and more than capable of giving a Sannin a rough time on the battlefield, but it's still not enough compared to where he needs to be, which can only be improved by his body size at this point, and this is without him signing the toad contract yet. Something flashy is the last thing we want him to do in the tournament, so I'm suggesting we do the opposite, and start with his earth style training."

The three looked at him curiously. "Why, may I ask, should we train him in earth style when he still isn't as far as he could be with your wind style training?" Kakashi asked.

Ghost frowned. "It would be too noticeable if Naruto started to show a master proficiency in an element even though he is still supposed to be a genin. I have already explained to all of you at one point or another why Naruto should be taught earth style techniques, and this is the best time to start him on it. With his clones and my training style, he should be able to be fairly proficient in earth composition despite not having a solid earth affinity, and with the techniques that all three of you will supply at some point or another, he will be able to defeat his opponents not with flashy techniques, but with trickery and cunning, making him look like another ninja and not stand out as much as if he used Rasengan or the Kyūbi's chakra."

"I can send Naruto to my sister for a day or two to keep the Kyūbi in line, due to the fact that Zuzushi is able to scare the living shit out of anyone or anything. Another couple of days can be spared for him to get used to summoning toads again. I bet that Fukusaku has already told the toad summoning populace about what has supposed to happen in the future, but something tells me that Gamabunta is still gonna test the shit out of the kid before he acknowledges him as a summoner again, but once again, we need to have Naruto be able to stay inconspicuous for as long as possible…" He paused for a moment before smiling again. "… or at least a few months after the Exams…"

"You just think of something?" Kakashi asked curiously.

Ghost nodded. "Yeah, but it will have to wait 'til after the Exams if we want it to work." He turned to Jiraiya. "You think you can get some of the spies in your network to start spreading counter and cover up rumors in Iwa? Scab's system is pretty big, but it's not established in that part of the elemental nations yet, so I can't do anything there."

Jiraiya sighed. "I already started doing that when I first heard of the rumors. I had to use a good portion of my bribing material, too."

Ghost nodded again. "Good. The more time we can buy for the brat, the better. Back to the earth jutsu, I decided that we're only going to be teaching the brat three techniques in order to make him look more inconspicuous, four if you happen to have the fourth one, and none of them are offensive techniques, which makes it even better." The three men nodded at once, knowing that Ghost knew what he was talking about at the moment.

"Which four techniques are you thinking of, Ghost?" The clone asked curiously.

Ghost looked at the men. "I want the brat to know the Double Suicide Decapitation technique, Earth-style Wall technique, the Underground Projection Fish technique, and if you guys have it, I don't know why this technique is called this, but the Earth Spear technique as well."

Kakashi blinked. "Isn't that the technique that the Akatsuki member Kakuzu used to make his skin harder?"

Ghost nodded. "Like I said, I have no idea why the technique is called Earth Spear." (A/N: But I do. Apparently, all of Kakuzu's elemental jutsu were all vaguely named after Gundam models of all things… yeah. Seriously, I'm not making this shit up.) "And now I do, for some odd author induced reason… by the way… now that I think about it, didn't you see that technique with your Sharingan during that fight with the guy, Kakashi?" Ghost asked curiously.

Kakashi blinked momentarily before slowly making the snake hand sign and changing his skin to a darker shade. "… Apparently… though I'm not as proficient in earth style techniques as I would like to be."

Jiraiya stepped forward. "Not that I'm complaining or anything, but why aren't you adding in Swamp of the Underworld to the mix?"

Ghost shook his head. "We're already teaching him two B-ranked techniques, a C-ranked and a D-ranked within the time span of a month. Swamp of the Underworld is an A-ranked technique, and fairly well known at that among the upper-level shinobi population. It's overkill if we teach him too many techniques, and it would be bad for him if he started to rely on his variety of techniques rather than practicing what he's actually good at like several members of the Uchiha clan. Better give him techniques that he can use to his creative advantage rather than a bunch of techniques that he only half knows."

The three men nodded in unison at Ghost's logic. "What next then?" The clone asked. "Should we wait and see what happens, or should we take extra steps to ensure that nothing else goes wrong?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "I could fix that Gaara kid's seal again if he's got his memory back…"

Kakashi shook his head. "No, it's too risky. Gaara has his memory back, but his siblings are keeping a close eye on him at the moment as it is. Best to do anything large scale after the second exam."

Ghost sighed before turning to Jiraiya again. "Did anyone see you enter or in the village?"

The perverted sage frowned. "You may have beaten me into the ground, brat, but I'm still considered a member of the Sannin for a reason."

Ghost nodded. "Good. If Naruto got word that you were here already, he would get more anxious than he already is, and we can't have that so close to the Exams." He paused as he looked at the three men. "I have two more things I want to tell you three. The first has to do with the Exams… and the second has to do with my family… or more specifically, the family member that you guys in particular need to watch your step around the most…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"Damn Hinata, no matter how many times I have your cooking, I can't help but be amazed by how it tastes." Naruto chuckled as he had another bite of the meal that Hinata made for their secret picnic near the Hokage heads.

Hinata blushed. "Stop, you're embarrassing me."

Naruto smirked. "What? I think you're one of the best cooks in Konoha! You could probably be on par with Teuchi and Ero-nii pretty soon!"

Hinata pouted. "You mean I'm not as good as a ramen stand chef and a chronic pervert…?"

Naruto paled as he fell for Hinata's trap. "I… erm… what I meant to say was…"

Hinata giggled. "Don't worry Naruto-kun. I was just joking."

Naruto puffed out his cheeks in mock rage. "That's not very nice Hinata-chan. I'm going to have to teach you a lesson." He grinned evilly as he raised his hands and walked slowly towards the young girl, starting to scare her a bit before moving in for the kill and tickling her savagely for several minutes, laughing in tandem with the girl all the while. After several minutes of nonstop merrymaking of the child variety, the pair calmed down and snuggled with each other, Hinata lying on Naruto's chest as said blonde rested against a tree.

"The Exams are tomorrow…" Hinata mumbled as she used Naruto as a pillow.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. It's finally here."

"Do you think we can do it?" She whispered.

Naruto smirked. "The Exams or the invasion? If it's the Exams, then we have it in the bag Hinata. If it's the invasion… well, we've taken precautions to make sure nothing gets too far. Besides, Ero-nii's family is going to be here by then, and if they are as strong as he is, we have very little to worry about…"

Hinata looked down as she hugged the blonde tighter. "But… what if I have to fight you?" She whimpered.

Naruto sighed as he embraced the girl. "… Then we will fight each other with everything we have Hinata-chan. It will be our way of telling each other that we are strong enough to protect ourselves. We can't keep looking after one another all the time. The best we can do is making sure that the other can survive by themselves if the worst happens. Anything else we could try to do or assume would be possible would be a sign of mistrust between us." Hinata looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Hinata-chan, I trust you with my life. I know that you are strong enough to take care of yourself, and in turn me as much as I believe in my own strength. I need you to do the same for yourself. Can you do that?"

Hinata smiled a bit before she lowered her head again and hugged Naruto even harder. "Yes Naruto-kun. I can and already do. Thank you for reminding me."

Naruto smiled gently as he kissed the top of the girl's head. "Anytime Hinata. Anytime…"

o. o. o.

Later that night:

"Can someone please tell me why we're at the edge of a cliff when we should be preparing for the freaking Exams tomorrow?" Kiba shouted irritably as he and the rest of the genin waited at the edge of a small chasm for Ghost, who had sent a message for all of them to meet with him there.

"Because Ghost-sensei threatened to reveal embarrassing information about us to the village if we didn't." Shino mused as he adjusted his glasses. "Although I am surprised that you haven't already prepared your equipment already, Kiba. This is supposed to be a very dangerous and potentially lethal test from what I have heard…"

"I was in the MIDDLE of packing when that bastard came knocking at my window! At first I thought he was trying to get to my sister again, but he kept on knocking until the damn thing nearly broke!" Kiba roared with Akamaru grunting in agreement.

"Will you shut up already, mutt for brains?" Ino complained. "I was sleeping when he came for me, so I would appreciate it if you kept your voice down a few decibels."

"Hey guys." Ghost sighed as he walked to the twelve genin from the woods. "Glad you could all make it… now I don't have to waste all that blackmail material on something stupid."

"We hope you have a good explanation for why you brought us out here so late Ghost-sensei." Neji sighed irritably. "We DO have the Exams tomorrow morning."

Ghost mock gasped. "Noooo. Really? I didn't notice." He sighed as he walked towards the edge of the chasm and on top of a small wooden plank that the genin did not notice before due to the lack of light. He turned around to face the genin and smiled. "You guys are about to take a test that could make or break you tomorrow. From what I've seen, all twelve of you have the potential to be great chūnin, but that does not necessarily mean that you will pass the test." He analyzed the looks on their faces before continuing. "What we have here is the final test I have for you guys before the Exams. The rules are simple. You will do as I do, and nothing more. You will not use any jutsu, tools, or bloodline limits of any kind during this test, or else you fail instantly. You can also choose to take the test or not if you want to, however I assure you that those who perform my test will have a much greater chance of becoming chūnin than those who failed." He smirked. "Oh yeah… and for those who pass, you also get a small surprise as well…"

The twelve looked at him hungrily and curiously. "What do we have to do, Sensei?" Hinata asked curiously.

Ghost smiled gently as he raised his arms to his sides. "One at a time… simply do as I do… and relax…" And with that Ghost leaned and fell backwards into the abyss, much to the surprise of the children as they watched Ghost disappear into the dark chasm.

"Holy shit!" Kiba shouted.

"Sensei!" The girls shouted.

"Crazy bastard!" Neji shouted.

"Whoah!" Chōji gasped.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru growled.

"Damn it, Ero-nii." Naruto moaned.

After taking several minutes to put their heads on straight, the twelve genin pondered if they should do what Ghost asked… well 11 did, Naruto simply stayed quiet for a few minutes before getting up and walking to the plank, much to everyone's surprise. "Might as well get this over with." Naruto sighed as he turned around and held his arms out.

"What the hell Naruto?!" Kiba shouted. "Do you have a death wish or something?!"

"Get over yourself, Kiba." Naruto sighed. "Ero-nii's crazy as hell, but he wouldn't kill us the day before the Exams. He's been looking forward to watching us beat the living crap out of each other for too long to simply kill us here in some stupid prank. I just want to get this over with and get some sleep for tomorrow. If you guys are gonna jump, do so. I don't want to be waiting for everyone here to nut up or not." And with that the blonde leaned back and disappeared into the dark chasm as well with his friends shouting his name.

Sasuke frowned a bit before stepping forward. "The dobe's right. We're just scared because we can't see what's down there. There's probably someone there to catch us or some kind of jutsu that will cushion our fall." Down he went.

Hinata breathed out slowly. "It's my turn… I'm not going to run away just because I don't know what's on the other side…"

One by one, all twelve of the genin fell over the edge of the cliff into the black abyss. One by one were caught in midair by Ghost and carried to a hidden cave in the side of the cliff, lit by small flashlights that could not be seen from where they were standing. "Good!" Ghost chuckled as he stared at all twelve children, many of whom were still breathing heavily. "It seems that all my students have the balls to go out on a limb… even the girls…"

"Ero-nii!" Naruto shouted irritably as the other genin gave the man a death glare.

"Sorry, sorry." The man laughed as he scratched the back of his head before putting on a calm face. "… what you guys just did was something that is known as a leap of faith."

Sakura breathed out slowly. "A leap of faith?"

Ghost nodded. "Yes. It's something that assassins in other lands used to do for various purposes, from evading capture to religious ceremonies. They would jump off of impossibly high ledges without knowing what lay below them, putting their faith in their comrades and what they were told was there, yet not seeing what was down there at all. These people had no ninjutsu or special techniques to do their work, and you could even say that they were at best skilled civilians… yet they were as lethal as the strongest Kage, and as efficient as the most skilled ANBU. They were people worthy of even my respect, and that is not something a person can earn easily…"

The genin looked at him intently and curiously. "… This is very interesting sensei…" Ino started, "But how did falling off a cliff help us with the Chūnin Exams?"

Ghost smirked. "That, I will leave for you to answer. You will know when to use this last lesson when the time comes." He paused for a moment before smiling even more and reaching for his glasses, which caught the attention of his students. "Now, if I remember correctly, I promised those who passed my little test a special surprise… how does finding out what my eyes look like sound?"

All twelve of the genin jaw dropped at the sound of this. On more than one occasion they had attempted to take off the man's glasses and see what he really looked like. The mystery was greater than trying to get Kakashi's mask off since Naruto had at one point or another secretly shown all his classmates the pictures he had hidden from the cyclops. To their knowledge, only Anko and Hana knew what Ghost really looked like, and they were not going to tell anyone anytime soon.

"You guys trusted me with your lives with that little test, now I trust you to keep quiet about this little secret of mine." Ghost stated as he took off his glasses and opened his eyelids to the shock and awe of the children.

Everyone had assumed that Ghost had different eyes… so much so that some had assumed that he had some special bloodline limit, however they were never expecting his eyes to look the way they did.

The whites of his eyes were completely black, which by itself would warrant shock and awe from anyone who looked at them, but that was only the beginning of the show. Where there should have been color was instead a silver-white, more pure and valuable looking than any Byakugan that Neji or Hinata had ever seen, shaped in a vertical oval, proving that his eyes were indeed slit. However this was still not the most obscure trait of his eyes. No, the most attention captivating fact about his oculars were his pupils. They were black like a normal human's, but they were also slit and narrow.

And stitched shut.

Both of his pupils were as narrow as a piece of string, with small but clear black lines crossing them irregularly from the middle of the white areas of either side of the pupil, as if a small child had gone nuts with a needle and thread on his eyes.

"You're… blind…" Neji stammered, not believing what he was seeing at the moment.

"Yep." Ghost sighed. "I can't see jack shit, yet I can kick more ass than a Kage any day of the week. Makes you wonder if dōjutsu are really all they're hyped up to be, doesn't it?"

"But… how?" Naruto asked in a daze. "I've seen you read menus at restaurants and write mission reports…"

Ghost smirked as he held up his glasses. "There's a reason why it takes Scab so long to fix these things, kid. The front of the lens take in the images of what they are shown and the back can adjust itself to make a sort of 3D representation of what the front sees. I can assume that you can fill in the blanks, blondie."

Naruto nodded slowly before pausing with a look of shock on his face. "S-So much… two? F-Four times? M-More?"

Naruto-kun? What's wrong?" Hinata asked worriedly.

Ghost smirked. "The average human takes in roughly 80% of everyday information through their eyes. Ironically enough, these glasses require me to focus 80% of my… special skill on the back of them in order for me to get a clear picture of what's in front of me."

Lee raised his hand. "Umm, Ghost-sensei. Not to be rude, but why do you hide your eyes from everyone? I realize that you need your glasses to see and read, but still…"

Ghost puffed out his cheeks. "Isn't it obvious? It's because these balls in my head scare the living shit out of people. Do you know how hard it is to get pussy with eyes like these? Even prostitutes have to make eye contact with their client at some point or another…" Ghost ranted, causing the genin to face fault. Ghost sighed. "Seriously though, I don't show my eyes to just anyone. The only people I show these babies to are either ones that I know I can trust… and those that have just earned a one way trip to hell…" The genin shivered as Ghost unconsciously flared a small pulse of his Presence.

"And I can tell you, there are very few things that can scare a person more than getting a death stare from an overpowered blind man." He grinned sadistically as he put his glasses back on and walked deeper into the cave. "Keep walking this way and you'll eventually reach the surface near the village. Go get some sleep for tomorrow, guys, and remember what you learned tonight… cause odds are whatever you experience during the test will depend on it."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah. Ghost is the man.

So the Chūnin Exams are up, the rest of the family are suffering from Harold and Kumar brand delays, and there may be some trouble from Iwa in the near/far future. God, I love messing with people's heads.

Keep your eyes open for the next chapters, and I assure you there will be some amazing fight scenes coming up real soon, as well as pure chaos and large amounts of Ghost being in pain. Heheheheheh.

Oh yeah, Draw Pictures. Yeah. Just a reminder in case anyone forgot.

Temp goal: 400 reviews by chapter 30

Please review.


	28. And it only took 27 chapters to get this far …

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 28: And it only took 27 chapters to get this far …

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Naruto's apartment:

Naruto woke up that day to the sound of his alarm clock buzzing in a very obnoxious manner. It wasn't so obnoxious several seconds later due to a mysterious Rasengan that appeared out of nowhere. "God, I hate mornings…" Naruto grumbled as he got out of bed and rubbed his eyes.

"And, they hate you…" Ghost chuckled as he sat on the windowsill next to the bed, unfortunately getting no reaction out of his apprentice. "Have trouble sleeping last night?"

Naruto dully looked at Ghost as he approached his bathroom. "Noooo. Why wouldn't I have trouble sleeping knowing that the future of the entire world could be decided today, and AFTER I decided to throw myself off a cliff?" Naruto hissed sarcastically before he closed the door behind him and turned on the shower.

Ghost shrugged. "You know, that would have had a much larger impact on me if I hadn't heard that line several dozen times already…"

"Fuck you, Ero-nii." Naruto called out.

"For the last time brat, I am neither a pedophile, nor gay, nor bisexual, nor any combination of the three." Ghost laughed as he walked past the bathroom door and into the kitchen to make the brat a decent breakfast. He may enjoy annoying the hell out of the kid, but he wasn't cruel enough to not make sure that his adorable little student wasn't prepared for the events that were going to occur later that day. Whistling as he got the ingredients from the actually stocked fridge, Ghost set up some eggs, bacon, toast and some juice for both of them, finishing just as Naruto got out of the steaming bathroom with a towel around his waist.

Naruto sniffed the air for half a second. "Smells good. Eggs and bacon?"

Ghost nodded. "Yep. Eggs are easy to digest, and the bacon is more fatty protein for later on. Bread for the carbs, and juice as a temporary fruit supplement."

Naruto snorted as he went back into his room to put his clothes on. "Keep talking like that and I'll have to fight you to tell me where the real Ero-nii is…"

Ghost laughed. "Like you could beat me, brat…"

The breakfast went by with small talk including: how Naruto's date with Hinata went the previous night, how long did she last underneath Naruto while he gave her a massage, hysterical laughter, several sounds of Naruto's fist impacting Ghost's face, and several pranking ideas on how to extremely mess with the other chūnin-wannabe's heads right off the bat with mental warfare and disturbing images. All in all, nothing out of the ordinary.

As Naruto finished triple checking his equipment and his storage scrolls, Ghost decided to give the kid the standard motivational badass speech. "Brat. Kick some ass out there, okay? Aside from using Rasengan variants and Sage Mode, you can go nuts during these parts of the exam… and I'm expecting you to give me one hell of a show. You are my student after all." He smirked. "Just remember the basis of our fighting style: flexible, creative, and unpredictable as fucking hell."

Naruto smirked as he opened the door to his apartment. "Who the hell do you think you are talking to, Ero-nii? I was known for those things before you even got here…"

o. o. o.

In Iwagakure:

Ōnoki of the Twin Scales, AKA the Third Tsuchikage, was grumbling at his desk. Oh, what he would give for the answer to defeat his evil nemesis, paperwork. Even though his chair and desk were modified over the years to reduce the pressure and strain on his hips and back, the old man could still feel the aches and pains slowly creeping into his body. But he was a stubborn geezer, and would not admit to being too old to do his job, not when the Leaf's Third was suffering from the same evil deity as well (As far as he knew, poor unknowing fool). However, paperwork was currently not the thing that was giving him multiple levels of pain at the moment.

"I'm telling you old man, these rumors have to have merit!" Kurotsuchi, an up and coming female jōnin that had shown much promise, growled. "If the Fourth Hokage actually did have a son…"

"We would have already known about it from our spies…" Sighed Ōnoki, rubbing the sides of his forehead. The old man had constantly been worrying about the same possibilities soon after the Third Great War had ended. After all, who wouldn't after getting over 200 of his best men wasted by a single technique? But all his spies in Konoha had told him that the bane and fear of his village's existence had not left any heirs or had even had a wife or a girlfriend! Ōnoki had been skeptical at the time of course… seriously. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a figure and face that women would kill for? If Ōnoki had looked like that and had the kind of reputation the fourth had, he would have had more children than he currently had wrinkles before his third year in office!

Surprisingly though, despite the fact that he had one of the most perverted men on the planet as his sensei, Minato Namikaze apparently never took on a significant other or had children before he died, and Ōnoki had carefully verified that that was the case. "… we both know how much it would have destroyed our village's morale if there happened to be another person in Konoha that could perform Hiraishin. I've checked multiple times…"

"But you could have still missed something! I heard the brat's sensei is Kakashi Hatake! There's no way that it could be pure coincidence!" The energetic and bloodthirsty woman countered loudly… not that Ōnoki could blame her. Her father and older brother were among the 200 butchered by Minato in the battle, and her hatred for Minato in particular seemed to have not dwindled a bit over the years.

Ōnoki groaned, knowing that if he didn't think of something soon, the conversation would last at least another hour and his paperwork would grow another foot. "Fine. Fine. If you want to investigate this 'mysterious child' so much, be my guest, but we are doing it on my terms." The man grumbled as he looked through his latest spy report. "According to this paper, Kakashi's entered his team into the Chūnin Exams in Konoha, which I might add start today. If, by chance, the brat of interest makes it to the third round, you have my permission to watch the kid's fights, without identifying yourself as an Iwa-nin of course. If he by some miraculous reason displays evidence other than his looks that he is, in fact, somehow related to Namikaze, then you will come back here and report immediately. Don't even THINK about trying to kidnap or kill him if that's the case. The last thing anyone wants these days is another bloody war. My hips are killing me more these days than all the ninja after my head combined." Ōnoki relaxed against his chair and glared at his grinning subordinate. "If by some miracle this brat is actually a Namikaze, then we will have to be careful about dealing with Konoha. If word gets out that we're responsible for anything related to with him, I have no doubt that not only he, but Jiraiya of the Sannin and that old bastard Sarutobi will come in person for our heads."

Kurotsuchi sighed as she noted that her village leader would not give her any more leeway than he had just allowed, so she simply resigned herself to the fact that if the kid did not make it far into the Exams, she would not be able to go on her mission. "Understood, Tsuchikage-sama." She sighed as she bowed deeply. "I will await the reports from our spies for further details." And with that she walked out of the door of the office.

"She has finally left, it seems." Growled a voice from the floor, nearly giving the old man a heart attack.

"Indeed." Spoke a younger voice from seemingly the same spot as a head slowly phased out of the ground. Half of the head was pitch black while the other was pale white. "However, what she spoke of seemed quite interesting…"

"How many times do I have to tell you to stop doing that!?" Ōnoki growled as he got his heart rate under control. "I'm old enough as it is without people coming through the floor of my office, thank you very much!"

Zetsu bowed. "Our most sincere apologies." The darker half stated.

"… you do not seem that concerned that there could be a potential heir to the Namikaze…" The white half commented curiously.

Ōnoki scoffed. "Feh! I've gone long enough to know that whenever someone claims to have seen 'the lost son of the Fourth', all they're really seeing is either an orphaned brat on the streets, which no one would dare let happen to the son of their beloved Fourth, or another bastard child of some Yamanaka. Trust me, whoever this rumor's about, it's not true. I just gave her the mission so that she would leave me alone for a month or two. God knows I need some weight off these shoulders." The old man glanced at the Akatsuki member again. "Now report. I don't pay your group for nothing, after all…"

o. o. o.

In a random training ground in Konoha:

Haku breathed heavily as the ice around her dispelled, observing her latest work critically. She knew that it was ill advised to train right before her first assignment, but she was so close to perfecting her new technique that she decided to pull an all-nighter.

"Haku! Get your ass over here!" Zabuza called from the forest. "We're gonna be late if you hold us back anymore!"

Haku paused to steady her breathing. "I'm coming, Zabuza-sama…" And with that, Haku turned away from the field that was completely covered underneath hundreds of thousands of particularly long and sharp ice senbon, like extremely overgrown grass, shining in the morning sun…

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"It's about time you guys showed up." Naruto grumbled as Sasuke and Sakura approached the blonde in front of the building that the Exams were supposed to take place in. "Are you two done sucking face, or do you need a few more minutes in the bushes?"

"For the last time, Dobe, we are not going out!" Sasuke growled as Sakura looked away nervously, both with blushes on their faces.

"Suuuure you aren't." Naruto said sarcastically, only irritating the Uchiha more. To be perfectly honest, Sasuke and Sakura weren't actually dating, but they, and by 'they' we mean Sasuke, were starting to realize their feelings for each other ever since the mission to Wave, and Naruto had little to no doubt that it was only a matter of time before the ice between them broke into many tiny microscopic pieces… much like Jiraiya's bone structure after he was caught peeking on Tsunade.

"Just shut up." Sasuke sighed as he walked towards the door. "Let's just get this over with already…"

Naruto chuckled. "Fine, fine. Killjoy." He put on a curious face as they walked through the hallway. "Hey, how many people do you think there are going to be taking the test?"

Sakura arched an eyebrow. "I don't know. Since we are in the largest ninja village, there should logically be a large number of participants. Why are you asking?"

Naruto put on a sadistic grin that his partners realized was a sign that he was thinking of something that would cause much pain, either mental or physical, to a large number of people. It was a look that they had seen on Ghost's face far too many times. "Oh… I was just wondering if I should start the test off with a… pre-emptive strike…"

"No." Sasuke and Sakura said flatly, leaving no argument much to Naruto's displeasure.

"But…" Naruto started to moan childishly.

"No." They repeated in the same manner. "We don't want everybody after our throats before the damn Exams even start." Sasuke lectures.

"I could…" Naruto attempted to explain.

"End of discussion, Naruto." Sakura interrupted, leaving a depressed Naruto grumbling behind his teammates. The team continued to walk through the building, following the signs to where the first exam was supposed to be held when they encountered a large group of what seemed like genin candidates surrounding a doorway to a room that was labeled 301. "Hey… isn't this…" Sakura started before Naruto put a hand over her mouth.

"Wait…" The blonde pondered, his eyes focused as Sasuke and Sakura gave him their attention, knowing that whatever he was thinking of could prove to be useful later on. "Don't say anything just yet…"

"You think of something, Dobe?" Sasuke whispered curiously.

Naruto blinked a few times before giving off a slight grin and turning to Sasuke. "Teme… see if you can memorize all the faces of the teams around the doorway… make sure to figure out if they're faking or not… I see Neji's team there as well, and they're giving a pretty good show…" He whispered to his teammates.

"Why go through the extra trouble?" Sakura asked curiously as Sasuke subtly activated his Sharingan with three marks in each eye. "We could simply walk by these guys and go to the real room…"

Naruto shook his head. "Sakura, with so many genin here, it's only a matter of time before someone figures it out…" he turned to her and gave her a confident grin. "Besides… I thought it would be good to find out which teams would be weak against genjutsu, and hence the ones that you could take out by yourself…"

Sakura's eyes widened in recognition as Naruto explained his plan to his teammate and nodded slowly while developing a small smirk herself. "… You sure know how to treat a girl, ramen breath…"

Naruto returned the look. "… funny, I always assumed that you preferred tall, dark and emo…"

"… You know, one of these days I'm gonna pay you back for all the times you've made me look like an idiot…"

"'Tis the job of a trickster to make the educated look like fools, my fine flat friend…"

WHAM! Sakura decked Naruto so hard that he flew through the crowd of genin and into Lee, knocking both boys onto the ground. "Hey, Lee. I made fun of Sakura's chest again…" Naruto said in a mixed conversational and slightly loop tone, causing everyone to sweat drop and edge away from the enraged pink headed girl that was walking towards her downed teammate while cracking her knuckles in a malevolent manner.

"Why do you do such things if you know that it will only end poorly for you, Naruto-kun?" Lee asked as he tried to catch his breath. "It is very un-youthful of you to do such things, especially to your own teammate…"

Naruto attempted to stand up, only to fall on his ass as he tried to make the room stop spinning. "I would gladly answer that question for you Lee, except I can't due to the massive concussion and possible aneurysm that I am currently experiencing… wow, now **those** are some pretty colors…" Naruto pointed in a random direction, but paused as he caught Sasuke looking directly at him from the other side of the crowd, followed by nodding his head in the direction of the stairs. Naruto bowed his head as if he was losing balance again before slowly getting back up and stumbling to the wall. "… I think I need to go freshen up a bit… onward, to the safety of the men's bathroom!" He slurred as he managed to walk down the hall in a haphazard manner in a fake attempt to escape Sakura's wrath and around the corner to where the stairs were, followed by Sasuke who was helping him not fall and Sakura who was staring daggers at him.

"Was that really necessary?" Sasuke asked as Naruto started to focus his chakra to his head to make it stop throbbing.

"What?" Naruto asked. "You managed to get around the crowd without getting detected and now everyone thinks that not only our, but Lee's team as well are just another bunch of weaklings, and all it cost us was a few hundred thousand brain cells that I probably wasn't going to use anyway."

Sakura frowned. "It would be a bad idea if we went back now though now that everyone's seen us… and we can't simply just announce that there's a genjutsu or else someone might get suspicious of us…"

"Hey, you two bastards!" A familiar feral voice sounded off from around the corner. "Drop this pathetic genjutsu already; we want to get to the damn third floor!" Team 7 sweat dropped in unison.

Naruto nodded. "Now that bones for brains has done part of our job for us, we should probably hide ourselves in one of the random rooms until everyone else passes by us… it would be kind of suspicious if we were in the actual examination room before everyone else…"

After making sure that they were well hidden for a few minutes while a majority of the test takers proceeded to the exam room, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke decided to finally go to the testing room, only to be stopped by Kakashi at the main doors.

"Ah. All three of you made it. Good, now you can take the test." The cyclops said cheerfully.

"Of course we all made it…" Sakura grumbled. "We signed the papers, didn't we? Why would we not show up if we thought that we were ready for the test?"

Kakashi chuckled nervously as he was verbally attacked by his female student. "Heheh. Calm down, Sakura. I was just saying that you need to take the test in teams, and if one of you didn't show up, then none of you could take the test…"

"Still, no pressure. Right?" Naruto said cheerfully, covering up his not-so-subtle hint that their sensei should shut up now.

Kakashi sighed. "Okay. I'll get to the point. You guys have gotten much stronger over the past half year, faster than almost any genin team I have heard of." He eye smiled and gave them a thumbs up. "Do me proud in there. Kick some ass, and try not to get yourselves killed."

Sasuke smirked. "Is that it? We were going to do all of that even if you didn't tell us to…" He faltered as he saw his teacher already nose deep in another book.

"You could have fooled me." Kakashi chuckled before giggling perversely and walking away, completely ignoring his students glaring holes into the back of his skull.

"We really shouldn't be surprised by now…" Sakura sighed as she rubbed her forehead and opened the door to the first exam.

The three were greeted to a room that was full of tense atmosphere and mild killing intent, meaning that they weren't intimidated at all. It took only a few seconds for Naruto to get that infamous twitch in his hands again.

"Pleeeeeaaaaaasssseeeeee?" Naruto moaned to his teammates as he put on puppy dog eyes.

"No!" Sasuke and Sakura shouted at him at once with tick marks on their foreheads.

"So the gang's all here, eh?" Kiba laughed loudly as Teams 8, 10, and Gai approached the newly entered Team 7. "'Bout time you guys got here. I was starting to thing you guys pussied out on us…"

Sasuke smirked. "And miss you limping away with your tail between your legs, mutt? Fat chance…"

"Yeah Sasuke-kun!" Ino swooned, causing everyone nearby to flinch at the volume of her voice. "I have no doubt that you'll come out on top!"

"I would be quiet if I were you…" A voice called out from nearby, getting the attention of the twelve Konoha genin, and one Suna genin. "You're starting to bug everyone else here, especially the Rain ninja. They're notorious for having short tempers…"

They all turned to see a 19 year old Kabuto Yakushi staring at them with a tired expression on his face. It took a lot of self-control and mental preparation for Shikamaru, Gaara, and Naruto not to react, let alone end the spy then and there. Thankfully, the silver haired man seemed not to have noticed the twitch in their facial expressions and in their hands. "… And you would be?" Neji asked stoically, carefully analyzing the potential opponent.

Kabuto laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Ah. I'm Kabuto Yakushi. Sorry if I scared you guys. It's just that if you kept on going the way you were, someone might have snapped and gone after you. It's not every day that rookies are in the Chūnin Exams, after all. To be honest, you guys look a little green around the gills if you ask me…"

"Nah, that's just Lee." Naruto commented, causing everyone to sweat drop. "Looking at him for extended periods of time can do that to a person."

"The sad thing about that is that it's true…" Sighed a mildly depressed Tenten, causing more sweat drops to occur.

"Er… so, it seems like this isn't your first time in the Exams, Kabuto." Ino stated curiously.

Kabuto chuckled nervously. "No, it's embarrassing to say it, but this is my seventh time doing this, although it has given me plenty of opportunity to stock up on my ninja info cards…"

"Ninja info cards?" Shino asked curiously as the Rookie 12 looked at the silver haired spy in curiosity… well 11 of them did, anyways… Naruto was looking elsewhere with a VERY sadistic grin on his face as he silently created a clone in the far corner of the room without any seals and transformed it…

Kabuto smirked as he took out his children's trading… I mean, ninja info cards. "Yeah. I've been gathering information on the Exams for years now, and I have data on pretty much everyone and everything in the Exams… minus the tests, of course. It's not perfect, but it's better than nothing." He took off the top card of the deck and channeled his chakra into it, causing the once blank card to show a map of the elemental nations and the number of genin from each nation participating.

"We have 51 teams in this exam, or 153 genin here total, most of them from Konoha since we're the ones hosting it, but we also have a fair number of genin from Suna and Ame as well. Grass, Waterfall, we even have a team from the newly created Sound village here today, though I'm not quite sure how they will stand up since their village was just made last year and all. Since these teams are from other countries, you can expect them all to be among the top of their ranks in their villages…" None of the Konoha genin seemingly noticed the twitch and rise in killing intent coming from the Sound team watching them in the crowd.

"This is very useful…" Sasuke mused out loud as the rest of the genin nodded in tandem. "Do you have info on single ninja as well?"

Kabuto smirked. "You name them, and I should have them…"

Sasuke nodded. "… I wanna know about this ninja from Suna… I think his name was Gaara…"

Neji stepped forward. "… Naruto Uzumaki and Shikamaru Nara of Konoha…" He stated simply, getting odd looks from the rest of Rookie 12… except for Naruto, who was slightly distracted at the moment…

"N-Neji-nii-san…?" Hinata stuttered curiously.

"What gives, Neji?" Tenten asked curiously.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed.

"Well, all right then." Shrugged Kabuto as he drew the three cards ninja style. "Let's start with Gaara then, shall we?" He channeled his chakra and put down the card so that everyone could read it. "Huh… I don't have much info on him since this is his first exam, but it says that he's done 8 C-ranked missions and a B-ranked mission… without getting a scratch? Damn…" Kabuto whistled in awe as the other genin shifted uncomfortably. Kabuto looked at the other two cards. "All right then. Shikamaru Nara. 10 D-ranked missions and 3 C-ranked, not bad for a rookie. Your sensei is Asuma Sarutobi, son of the Third Hokage, and your partners are Ino Yamanaka and Chōji Akimichi, meaning you guys are the second generation of the fabled Ino-Shika-Cho trio… nice. Let's see, slightly above average speed, stealth, and chakra reserves, although your strength, genjutsu and taijutsu are nothing worth noticing. You use your clan's shadow manipulation techniques, no surprise there… whoa…" Kabuto raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Damn… says here that your friend has one of the highest IQs in the village, it's just never been noticed because you're supposed to be notoriously lazy…"

Several of the genin blinked a few times before looking at Shikamaru in surprise, who in turn just shrugged and yawned. "What? I like to sleep." He stated as if that explained everything, causing everyone to sweat drop.

"Erm… right." Kabuto laughed nervously as he looked at Naruto's card. "Naruto Uzumaki. Part of Team 7 underneath Kakashi Hatake, with Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno. The dead last of your year, your missions are 10 D-ranked, 2 C-ranked… a B-ranked AND an A-rank?!" Kabuto and the rest of the genin looked at Naruto in shock.

Sasuke frowned. "When the hell did you do a B-rank, Dobe?"

Naruto shrugged. "I'll tell you guys about it later… it's kinda a secret… now keep reading, my ego has yet to be filled." Naruto stated dramatically, causing everyone to deadpan.

"Right…" Kabuto sweat dropped as he continued. "Apparently he's the unofficial apprentice of Ghost Ōgakari, the village's apparent top assassin as well, meaning he probably knows several decent assassination skills and techniques. Now onto stats…" Kabuto paused for a moment before blinking. "Well this can't be right. It says here that you have kage-level chakra reserves…"

"No, that's right." Sakura stated as if it were normal. "We've all know about that for a while, so it's nothing new…"

"O…kay… then." Kabuto sweated as he looked at Naruto cautiously. "Um… let's see, kage-level chakra reserves, above average taijutsu, advanced ninjutsu, below academy level genjutsu, above average levels of strength and speed, your favorite technique is the Shadow Clone technique, but you are also known to have used several wind techniques as well, and you are apparently a sensory type ninja as well… AND you have a bloodline limit that lets you heal at an accelerated rate?" Kabuto stared at Naruto in awe. "… And you were the Dead-Last?"

Naruto took in an over the top breath of air and grinned wildly. "Yes. Yes, I am just that awesome." He waltzed up to the group of genin and puffed out his chest. "Why yes… you can kiss my feet…"

"Great…" Sakura sighed as she rested her head in her hands. "I can actually see his freaking ego now… he's going to be acting like this for the rest of the Exams now…"

Sakura's rants were interrupted as a large commotion was heard from the middle of the room, including but not limited to, screams, yells, sounds of people throwing up, death threats, and claims of being blinded. The group turned their attention to see a majority of the males in the room hunched over and either dry heaving or throwing up, while the females either looked extremely sick or extremely pissed. All of them were surrounding an already disappearing cloud of smoke. It was to be noted that Gaara was closing his eyes, covering his ears, and looking in the opposite direction from everyone else while Kankuro and Temari were among the casualties. Sakura, Sasuke, Hinata, and Shikamaru, already knowing who was responsible for the commotion, turned their attention back to Naruto, who was at the back of the room, hunched over and having trouble breathing or making a sound due to his extreme level of laughter. Kabuto and the rest of the genin noticed the original four's reactions and saw what Naruto was doing. "Do I…?" Kabuto started to ask.

"No." The remaining eleven said at once in a tone that left no argument.

o. o. o.

In an observation room nearby:

All the ninja in the room were mimicking the students in the exam hall after watching the display screen. The scene they had just watched was horrifying and disturbing on so many levels that even Ibiki had to sit down for a few moments in order to get his breathing under control. Looking at the screen again, he noticed that the Kyūbi kid was hunched over, but for another reason entirely.

At that moment Ibiki decided that he was going to keep a very careful eye on the brat… or else he might get caught in a repeat performance…

o. o. o.

On a nearby rooftop:

"Oh God!" Jiraiya roared as he emptied his stomach in front of him and Ghost laughed his ass off. "That image will haunt me for the rest of my life!" The Sannin claimed between breaths as he threw up some more.

"Brilliant!" Ghost managed to crack out between breaths as he rolled on the ground and held his hurting sides tightly. "This kid is a genius! I didn't think he would pull it off so perfectly! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Mental warfare for the win!"

o. o. o.

Back at ground zero:

Naruto was still the center of attention of the Konoha genin when the Sound team made their move. Dashing around the room and using the other participants as cover, Kin, Zaku, and Dosu swiftly approached the group in the back, unknowing that they had already been detected by Shikamaru, Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Hinata, Lee, Shino, and, of course, Kabuto.

Once they were close enough, Zaku jumped up in the air to start the assault, throwing several kunai at Kabuto at high speed, forcing him to dodge back. His movements were apparently too slow as Dosu rushed at him from the front and attempted to punch him with an odd sweeping punch. Exactly like last time, Kabuto dodged backwards, only to be momentarily shocked as his glasses shattered even though he was not hit, followed by his stomach emptying itself violently, much to the shock of many of the rookie genin.

"He didn't hit him…" Mused Lee.

"What did they do to him?" Ino whispered.

"I'm pretty sure I heard something…" Muttered Kiba under his breath, accompanied with a small grow from Akamaru.

"There was something on his arm…" Sakura noted to herself.

"Put this in your damn cards weakling." Dosu growled. "The Sound team members are going to be chūnin for sure…"

"That's a pretty cool trick." Naruto laughed as he got back up and went over to Kabuto. "You alright, specks?"

Kabuto coughed for a few seconds. "Y-Yeah… just give me a second to catch my breath…"

"Humph." Zaku snorted. "Stop playing it cool, weakling. There's no way you could have figured out what Dosu's ability…"

"Sound waves…" Naruto stated, freezing the loudmouthed genin in his tracks and causing Dosu to glare at him intently.

"What?" Asked Tenten in a confused manner.

Naruto smirked as he pointed to Dosu's right arm. "That gauntlet on his arm can produce high frequency and amplitude sound waves with his chakra. That's why Kabuto and his glasses took damage even though he dodged the main attack…" Naruto took in a deep breath as the people around him were listening to his every word. "But there's a limit to how far your attack can reach, isn't there? Otherwise, why would you go through all that effort to get in close to attack, where you risk your opponent learning how your technique works? That's the weakness to your otherwise very efficient attack strategy. That being the case, despite your impressive speed, it would be easy to take you down if one simply focused on mid to long ranged ninjutsu and maybe some exploding tags, seeing as that your gauntlet looks like it can also act as a sort of shield, which makes most kunai and shuriken based attacks near worthless…"

Dosu was amazed and pissed at the same exact time. He had thrown one punch, ONE PUNCH, and his entire attack strategy and fighting style was laid bare for the entire competition to analyze and counter! "How…?" He growled, focusing his good eye on the smiling blonde in front of him.

Naruto laughed and shrugged. "My personal sensei is an insane bastard, but he's taught me some interesting things, including stuff about sound based attacks…" He opened his eyes and grinned evilly as he made them glow slightly. "And how to counter them…"

Dosu snapped and charged at Naruto, planning on silencing the loudmouth once and for all. He didn't bother to notice that Naruto had momentarily made a dragon seal before he punched at the blonde, focusing his chakra in his gauntlet to release a maximum damage sound wave that would land a normal person in the hospital for weeks, if not kill them. Naruto blocked the attack with his arm and smirked, along with Dosu. "You idiot." The mummified boy growled. "I can redirect my attack with my chakra straight into your ear and… WHAT?!" He shouted in surprise as his attack refused to go past the holes in his gauntlet and rebounded on itself in the metal and his arm. The reaction was so fast that there was nothing that Dosu could do to stop it in time. Moments later the entire device imploded on itself and pieces of shrapnel impaled both Dosu and Naruto, and revealed Dosu's very cut up arm in the process. "What the hell?!" He roared out in pain.

"Dosu!" Zaku and Kin shouted at once as they rushed to their downed teammate.

"Naruto/Naruto-kun!" The rest of the rookie Konoha genin shouted as they went to the wincing blonde.

"Didn't expect that to happen… hope I don't get in too much trouble…" Naruto mumbled to himself as he took a piece of metal out of his cheek. "… Damn, that stings…"

"Quiet down, you weaklings!" Shouted a deep and gruff voice from the front of the room, gaining everyone's attention. A loud and large cloud of smoke erupted, revealing Ibiki Morino, Zabuza Momochi, Haku, and several dozen chūnin proctors. "Sound Nin! Uzumaki! I should disqualify you right now for fighting so early!"

"To be perfectly honest, Proctor-san, I was only trying to cancel out his attack. I had no idea that his weapon would react the way it did… otherwise I would have taken other precautions to dodge the attack and not risk looking like modern art. I swear in the name of the Log that I did not mean for this to happen." Naruto replied as Sakura and Hinata continued to take shards of metal out of Naruto's body and several of the other genin sniggered.

"Amen." The chūnin proctors reflexively said in response, earning them an awkward look from all the foreign shinobi in the room.

Zabuza snorted. "I wouldn't doubt it, Ibiki. The brat has a tendency to have things blow up in his face by accident. He is Ghost's student, after all…"

Ibiki sighed as he attempted to deal with the headache that Naruto had given him. "Sound team, are all three of you still able to participate in the exams?"

All three of the genin frowned as they tended to Dosu's wounds. "Yeah, just give me a moment to slow down the bleeding and get some more metal out of my skin and I'll be good to go. I have another gauntlet stored just in case…" Dosu growled before glaring at Naruto again, who was too busy apologizing to an enraged Sasuke and Sakura to notice him.

"All right. Since both of you seem to think that you are above the rules, I hope you don't mind if I give you an additional challenge to the first exam…" Ibiki smirked as he glared at the two wild genin.

Dosu frowned. "It is unavoidable. I got too excited and now I must pay the consequences…"

Naruto on the other hand simply waved his hand before going back to defragging himself. "Yeah, sure, harder test, bring it on, sure thing…" He sighed before getting wailed on by Sakura and Sasuke again.

Ibiki just sighed again before he went on to explain the rules of the first exam, during which several of the proctors cleaned up the bile that was on the floor that was caused by Naruto's latest stunt. (A/N: They are the exactly the same as the manga, so I'm not going to bother typing it all out.) "However…" Ibiki added. "… as punishment for your less than model behavior, Dosu of the Sound team and Naruto of Konoha Team 7 only have three warnings instead of five." He put on a sadistic grin as the two boys fidgeted as they got into their seats.

One random Waterfall genin raised his hand. "Why is that man here?" He points to Zabuza. "He doesn't look like a chūnin proctor… he looks kind of familiar…"

Ibiki and Zabuza laughed in tandem. "Oh! How silly of me." Ibiki chuckled. "This here is Zabuza Momochi, former member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, former missing-nin, and very soon a newly instated jōnin of Konoha. He's here to make sure that the exam isn't too… easy for you…" They both smiled with malicious glee as they saw the reactions of many of the genin in the room. Ah, there's no better way to start your morning than with a nice healthy dose of people shitting themselves at the sight of you…

As everybody was getting into their designated spots, Naruto and Shikamaru noticed that for some odd reason, their seating arrangement was the same as the last time. Not that they were complaining, considering that no one they knew was sitting next to Kabuto or the genin that supposedly was Orochimaru's new disguise… and that Naruto was sitting next to Hinata again… but they did find it a bit odd none the less. Looking to his side, he saw that Haku was one of the proctors that was observing the rows near his. She smiled and gave him a small wave before relaxing into her chair… a little too much, if Naruto had anything to say about it.

Before anyone knew it, everyone had a copy of the test in front of them. "Begin!" Ibiki called out, causing the room to echo with the sound of paper shuffling. However, before anyone could start writing, a very oppressive feeling filled the room and unnerved many of the genin hopefuls.

Naruto looked around quickly to see who the hell was releasing this much killing intent during the exam, only to nearly slap himself in the forehead when he saw that it was Zabuza, who was standing next to Ibiki at the front of the room. "What?" The large man asked as if there was nothing wrong. "Stop staring and take the damn test already. You're losing time…" Naruto had to bite his tongue to stop laughing as he saw what Zabuza was trying to do, and how bloody effective it was.

After calming down, the blonde started to ponder how to cheat on the test. He had promised Ghost that he would cheat efficiently without getting caught this time, but he still had almost no clue as to how to go through with it. His best chance would be to use shadow clones to memorize the answers from another test, but he needed to get them out without anyone pinning it on him. Naruto pondered a bit as he thought back to a lesson that Ghost had gone over with him.

" _You don't have to be invisible in order to not get caught doing something. Hell, you don't even have to be unnoticeable. All you have to do is make sure that no one can pin the action on you when the time counts. This goes for stealing, cheating, spying, and assassination. As long as there is no evidence saying that you are related to what is happening, you can be as fucking loud and flashy as you want. The key is to hide those vital initial steps…"_

Naruto pondered this bit of advice for a few moments. He knew that the proctors had some limitations on what they could mark down as cheating depending on the person. He had no doubt that all of them knew what an activated Byakugan and Sharingan looked like, as well as the fact that Kiba was occasionally talking to Akamaru and that he was obviously an Inuzuka. This meant that as long as you were cheating well enough, the proctors would not mark you down even if they caught you, meaning that as long as Naruto used his shadow clones in an efficient enough manner, he wouldn't get marked even if all the proctors knew that he was the only genin in the room that could use shadow clones. Naruto had the means to cheat; now all he needed was a good enough distraction…

"Number 102 stand up. You and your teammates fail…" Called out one of the proctors, breaking the silence in the room and gaining everyone's attention. Naruto smirked to himself as he meditated with his hands in the dragon sign underneath his desk. The plan was set, now to simply find the right targets to copy off of and wait…

o. o. o.

Outside:

"Now that the boring stuff is happening, you wanna explain to me why that kid's armor blew up as if it had an exploding tag in it?" Jiraiya asked Ghost as he turned away from the testing building.

Ghost shrugged. "Sure. As you already know, Naruto has a fairly high amount of control over the air around him, and that the kid he was fighting against could manipulate fairly large sound waves. What Naruto did was create small voids in the holes of the Sound brat's gauntlet, preventing the noise from escaping the weapon and attacking Naruto. What most likely happened was that since Naruto still doesn't have his control over the air nailed down perfectly… or to be more precise, he hasn't completely mastered creating voids yet, he used too much chakra to create them. This excess chakra caused the sound to reflect back into the gauntlet instead of nullifying it, since the sound attack his opponent was using was apparently completely flooded with chakra. You can guess what happened next…"

Jiraiya nodded in understanding. "The force of the contained attack built up upon itself and forced itself on the kid's arm and weapon since there was no other release. Lucky for both of them the gauntlet broke first, otherwise they might have been kicked out of the Exams…"

Ghost smirked. "Remember who you're talking about, dumbass. Blondie there is practically the incarnation of sheer dumb luck."

Jiraiya chuckled. "You don't have to tell me twice." He sighed. "So where's your original?"

The identified clone laughed. "Playing." He replied simply, getting an odd look from Jiraiya.

o. o. o.

30 minutes and an obscene amount of cheating later:

"43 and 27, you fail." Called out another proctor.

One of the two genin, wearing a Suna headband, stood up and slammed his hands on his desk loudly. "Bullshit! Do you have proof that I cheated 5 times?! I bet…!" His ranting was interrupted by a huge cloud of smoke that covered the entire room, much to the surprise of everyone there except for one blonde ninja. When the smoke cleared, there was a clone of Ibiki standing behind every genin in the room, surprising everyone, especially said sadist. One of the clones picked up the ranting Suna genin with one arm and tossed him to the doorway where a few other chūnin proctors were.

"I believe that he belongs to you…" The clone grumbled menacingly, shocking everyone watching the spectacle with how accurate the copies were acting. The clones then proceeded to look over the shoulders of all the examinees and memorize their answers. Since a good number of the genin (minus those who could immediately tell that this was Naruto's doing) didn't know whether or not these were actually clones produced by Ibiki or not, their jobs were left for the most part uninterrupted. "Hey!" Called out the clone that was over Naruto's shoulder. "Look here! The blonde brat hasn't even answered a single question yet! Heh! By the looks of things, he would have failed even if we gave him 10 chances to cheat." The rest of the clones mock-laughed at Naruto as he banged his head against his desk repeatedly, causing many of the other hopeful chūnin to laugh in relief since they had seen what Naruto had done to Dosu's gauntlet. (A/N: Yes. I know that someone else created the mass Ibiki clone trick, but I forgot who, since I read that particular story a while ago. I do not claim to be the originator of this trick… minus the timing part.)

After a few minutes of memorizing what the papers said, the clones started to dispel themselves until only one was left near the back of the room. It smirked sadistically before shaking its hips in a seductive, and therefore extremely disturbing, manner. "… Should I give you guys a repeat performance?" It asked curiously before laughing hysterically and dispelling itself in front of the freshly disturbed and nauseated classroom. Naruto had to keep his head down on his desk and pinch both of his legs hard in order to stop himself from laughing just as much as his clone did. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Haku trying to hold back a giggle while at the same time shaking her head in disapproval. Several vows of revenge and death were heard in the following 10 minutes as a large number of disoriented genin were ejected from the exams due to excessive throwing up and getting caught cheating fairly easily. During this time, Naruto managed to write down the answers he had memorized from his clones. Since there were only around 100 clones made during the time and they were only out for five minutes tops, he didn't get much of a headache.

Several minutes later, Ibiki told everyone to put their pencils down. "Alright you weaklings, time's up. Turn over you papers and listen well, because the tenth question is special…" The man grinned sadistically. This, combined with Zabuza's still present killing intent, nearly caused several genin to soil their pants in fear. "Let me now tell you the new rules for the tenth question, the rules of desperation…" He mentally smirked as several genin started to breathe heavily. "You all have a choice before taking the question. You can decide to not take the question… however, you will automatically fail if you do so, regardless of your score, and hence get kicked out of the exams…"

The immediate reaction was loud and predictable, full of the standard "What?!" "You have to be kidding me!" and "Why would we quit now?!"

"Shut up, you pathetic meat sacks!" Zabuza roared, flaring his killing intent to shut up the genin within two seconds.

Ibiki smirked. "Thanks Zabuza. I owe you a drink later… anyways, you might chose that path because the other is even worse. You COULD chose to take the 10th question, but if you get it wrong, you will be kicked out of the exam and be forbidden from taking the Chūnin Exams, forever…"

"What the hell?!" Kiba shouted, gaining everyone's attention. "There are plenty of people that have taken the Exams before and failed! You can't just ban us from taking them again!"

Ibiki smiled slightly and glared at the genin. "Well then, you guys are just unlucky to have me this year. I have been given… special power from the Hokage and the other village leaders to do just that. Be glad, kids. I'm giving you a way out so you can take the Exams next year… now let's begin. Those who want to leave, raise your hand. Once your number is confirmed, please leave with your teammates…"

Naruto tried hard to not laugh out loud. He had to admit, Ibiki was a brilliant actor and manipulator. He had been playing the entire genin testing group like puppets from the get go, and with Zabuza there as well providing the additional intimidation factor, the impact of his performance had nearly doubled! Looking to his side, he could see Hinata fidgeting in her seat. It seemed as if the exam proctors had managed to weasel their way into her psyche as well. He would have to do something about that. Nudging her leg with his, the girl momentarily froze before looking at her crush shyly. Naruto returned the curious look with a smile of confidence and quickly mouthing the words 'leap of faith'. Hinata looked at him curiously for a moment before her eyes widened considerably as she deciphered his message and smiled back at him with confidence. Naruto nodded and turned around to look at Sakura and Sasuke and gave them each a confident Gai-ish grin, causing them to sweat drop and sigh before motioning him to turn around with tired expressions on their faces.

As the minutes drug on slowly, more and more teams gave up and left the room. All the members of the Rookie 12 had eventually at one point or another figured out what Ghost's leap of faith test had meant and smirked as they all decided to go for all or nothing on the tenth question. Eventually, Naruto had decided that enough teams had given up and that it would be risky to enter the second part of the exam with fewer teams than this, so he decided to repeat the bold speech of 1000 manly men like last time.

Insert bold speech of 1000 manly men.

Ibiki mentally grinned. ' _Interesting brat. He blasted away everyone's uncertainty with that stupid rant. Hmmm, 66 candidates left. Too many for my liking, but it could have been worse… like 78 brats… why did I think up of that random number?'_ Ibiki looked over to Zabuza, who smirked underneath his wrappings and nodded slightly. He got the same reaction from the other chūnin proctors as well. Letting his hidden glee reveal itself, Ibiki chuckled. "Well then, since it seems like the rest of you seem to have decided to stay, we'll get on with the 10th question…" Ibiki paused as all the genin looked at him in apprehension. God he loved moments like these. "Congratulations. You all passed the first exam!" The heavily scared man laughed out loud, getting confused and surprised looks from almost all the young people in the room.

"Wait… what? Isn't there supposed to be a 10th question?" Chōji asked in a daze.

Ibiki smiled cheerfully. "Nope. There never was a 10th question… or maybe you could say that choosing to take the question was the question itself…"

"Ugh… my head hurts…" Kiba groaned as he tried to make sense of what Ibiki was saying.

"Wait… then what the hell were the first nine questions for then?!" Temari shouted in an irritable manner.

"Isn't it obvious?" Shikamaru asked and yawned at the same time. "It was to see how well we could cheat and gather information. Those who sucked at it were kicked out, meaning they weren't skilled enough to be chūnin yet."

Ibiki nodded. "It was a two stage test to thin out the ranks and test your resolve. The first was how pineapple head over there explained it. Zabuza here was just adding icing on the cake and made sure the ones who passed could work under pressure." He reached up and took off his bandanna, revealing his horribly disfigured head to the genin in the room. "Because gathering the wrong information or cracking under the pressure can cost you dearly…" He chuckled as he reapplied his headwear. "If you get noticed by the enemy or by a third party, odds are your information will end up useless within a few hours, after all."

"The second and real purpose of the exam was the 10th question, though. When faced with an uncertain decision, do you take the plunge or not? There will be times when you will have to take missions that seem very uncertain and dangerous. As chūnin and higher level ninja, it is your job not only to take these missions regardless of how you feel about them, how little information there is about the enemy, environment, etc. In the future, you will encounter these sorts of situations, and you will be fearful for your and your companion's lives, but you will not be given the option of backing out of these situations."

"Being strong, courageous, and having the bloody guts to actually jump into dangerous situations is what being a chūnin entails, and that is what you guys just proved just now. If you can't risk putting everything you have on the line, then you might as well stay a genin forever…" He looked at Naruto. "Those who have the balls to make the tough decisions will go far in our line of work. That's why you guys passed the first test. Congratulations. I wish you guys luck in…"

Ibiki's speech was interrupted as an odd sound made itself known from outside the room. "!" Shouted the human sized projectile as it crashed through the windows next to Ibiki and slammed into the floor, sliding on its own blood until it hit the doorway hard. Said projectile was followed by another human sized blob covered in a black tarp which upon entering the room quickly unraveled itself and pinned all four corners, which were tied to kunai, to the floor and ceiling (and unfortunately, the human projectile's left ass cheek), to display Anko striking an intimidating pose with a banner behind her reading: 'Konoha's incredibly strong and sexy Anko Mitarashi.' "What up, maggots?! It's my turn to torture you guys now!"

Ibiki sighed. "You're early again, Anko…" He looked at Ghost. "And your aim still needs work apparently…"

Anko blushed and shrugged. "Timing, yes… aiming… well, he deserved it."

"I am currently tasting the floor right now… and I'm surprised…" Grumbled Ghost from the corner of the room. "It has a unique taste of blood, lemons… and my spinal fluid, for some odd reason… it's quite an interesting sensation…"

"That was uncalled for, Anko." Pouted a voice from above everyone in the room. All the inhabitants looked up to see a copy of Ghost sitting cross-legged, upside down on the ceiling. "I mean, seriously. Through the window was bad enough, but did you seriously have to stick a kunai in my ass? I have to use that, you know…"

Ibiki sighed, knowing of Ghost's reputation enough to know that he was talking to a shadow clone while the original was still bleeding to his side. "When did you sneak in here?" He asked in a tired tone.

The clone shrugged. "Right when the idiot pulled off the mass shadow clone during the test. I gotta say Ibiki, you live up to your rep. You pulled off that performance beautifully."

Ibiki mock bowed. "I am honored that the mysterious assassin Ghost Ōgakari would praise my skills so…" The other genin in the room looked at Ghost ('s clone) in surprise. They had not even detected him being created, yet he was hanging over their heads for a good half an hour. Kabuto in particular was unsettled. He had heard rumors about Ghost Ōgakari being a master of stealth and infiltration… along with being a person of somewhat low morality and common sense, but this was his first time actually seeing the man in action, and to be quite honest he was a bit unnerved. According to Orochimaru, Kabuto himself was supposedly on par with the famous Copy Ninja Kakashi, yet this guy managed to create a shadow clone inside the room and hide it from him for thirty minutes on the ceiling without being detected by anyone? Something was seriously not right here. He would have to keep an eye on the man for the remainder of his stay in Konoha… and the other on his supposed apprentice, as well…

The clone stepped over towards Anko and dropped onto the ground before handing her a video camera. "Hold onto this for a while. It's part of a project I'm working on for later. I would give it to myself… but I'm apparently too unconscious to do anything at the moment…"

Anko sighed as she pocketed the camera. "Yeah, yeah. I'll fix that in a few minutes." She turned back to the very confused genin as the clone dispelled itself. "66? You still have 22 teams left, Ibiki?! What the hell? You're losing your edge, man…."

Ibiki smirked. "What can I say? We have a lot of brats with potential this year."

"Why does it feel like someone went ape shit on my ass… and then forgot to move their foot?" Ghost groaned in his pool of blood.

Anko sweat dropped. "Erm. Right. So, you guys go ahead to training area 44. I'll be right back. Just have to make sure this bastard doesn't die on me…" Anko bent down and proceeded to take out the kunai that was firmly lodged in Ghost's buttocks before picking him up and disappearing in a cloud of smoke via shunshin.

o. o. o.

Several minutes later in a nearby cemetery:

"Kukukukuku." Chuckled Orochimaru as he donned his new 'face'. "Now that I'm properly disguised, it will be only a matter of time before I mark Sasuke-kun…"

"Indeed, lord Orochimaru." Kabuto smirked as he bowed in front of his master. "With the Sharingan under your control, there will be little to stop you from your goals…"

The snake Sannin smirked before observing his strongest servant in curiosity. "Something troubles you…" He stated, leaving no room for questioning.

Kabuto paused. "It is nothing of concern, my lord. I am simply unnerved about the Ōgakari… and Sasuke's teammate…"

"Hoooh?" Orochimaru asked curiously. "Do tell… from what I have heard, the pair are both rather carefree and reckless…"

Kabuto nodded. "Yes master, however the Ōgakari managed to sneak a shadow clone in the testing room and have it hide directly above my head for half an hour without being detected, and the Uzumaki managed to destroy, although not intentionally, your genin Dosu's sound gauntlet with unnatural ease after figuring out his fighting style completely after a single punch… and he also apparently has kage-level chakra reserves as well…"

Orochimaru smirked, licking his lips. "That is interesting… but irrelevant compared to the might of the Sharingan. Had I brought more serum from Jūgo, perhaps I may have been able to mark both the boys and take them, but it matters not now. The blonde shall die in the Exams and Sasuke will be marked, and in time come to me for power…"

o. o. o.

In a nameless café in Konoha:

Kuma was reaching for the cup of tea that he had recently ordered, only for it to develop a large crack in its side as soon as he touched it. Kuma was not a superstitious person, however Ghost's words of warning still rung in his head. He had a bad feeling about this…

o. o. o.

Half an hour later, in front of the Forest of Death:

"Now those are some freakishly huge trees." Naruto commented as he stared at the giant foliage behind the gates. "I wonder what kind of fertilizer they use to make them grow so big."

"I have heard that the local fauna here are quite… malevolent and lethal…" Shino commented.

"Isn't this where we got those exploding squirrels…?" Hinata started to ask before Naruto put his hand over her mouth.

"Shhhh! No one's supposed to know about that…" Naruto hissed.

"Didn't Anko train you a couple of times here, Ino?" Chōji asked his teammate, only to see her in the fetal position several feet away from him, shaking uncontrollably.

"It seems that Anko-sensei has picked a rather youthful place to hold our second exam, my friends." Lee commented, getting nods from his teammates.

Their thoughts were interrupted as a cloud of smoke appeared in front of the crowd on top of the bench next to the registry building, revealing Anko in her standard half naked glory. "All right brats! Listen up! This here is training ground 44, otherwise known as the Forest of Death. Why is it called the Forest of Death? You'll find out in a few minutes…" The Snake Mistress grinned sadistically as odd noises echoed from the forest.

"Tch." Naruto snorted. "Why is it called the Forest of Death? You'll find out in a few minutes…" Naruto mock imitated Anko's voice, causing the woman to grow a tick mark.

"You're spirited." She commented before proceeding to whip out a kunai and fling it at Naruto faster than most genin could follow. Naruto decided to cut her some slack and let the kunai graze his cheek before appearing behind the seemingly freaked out blonde and licking his blood. "Brat's like you always end up dying first… mmmm, it's a shame… your blood is sooo good."

"Heheheh. You're right, Ero-nii, she **does** get turned on from tasting wood." A familiar obnoxious voice called out, gaining everyone's attention. Sitting on the bench and eating dango that was freshly stolen from Anko's jacket were Ghost and Naruto, both grinning like idiots. "You were right, she did cut me and lick my blood the second I started to act like a wise ass."

Ghost laughed as he and Naruto pounded fists lazily like old college buddies. "Told you she would, although I wasn't expecting you to be able to pick her pockets so easily. You're getting better at this." The man proceeded to take out a seemingly white cloth and wipe his mouth with it before offering it to Naruto. "Napkin?" He asked with a very wide smile on his face.

Naruto was about to take it before he looked at it closely and quickly retracted his hand. "No thanks. I would rather die in the Exams than die before I can even take them."

Ghost shrugged as he continued to wipe his mouth with the cloth. "Suit yourself."

It was then that Anko's brain registered that not only that she was wrapping her arms around a log (not that it was the first time she had done such a thing, mind you), but that she was experiencing a familiar… bare feeling again. Looking at the 'napkin' in Ghost's hand, she noticed that it had a very familiar bunny picture on the front… "Excuse me for a moment… I have to maim a pervert…"

Ghost swallowed his last bite of dango before he brushed his hands together and stood up. "Ah, I love a good chase after a nice snack." He mused out loud in a dream like manner before dodging a salvo of shuriken. "You missed me! Nyehhoocrap!" Ghost teased then screamed as he proceeded to run away from Anko franticly. The violent chase lasted several minutes as Ghost and Anko dashed throughout the large group of genin in a violent game of cat and mouse, only to end when Anko caught up with him and pinned him by his coat and pants to the registration shack with several dozen kunai and shuriken.

"Now you will stay there until I say you have learned your lesson!" Anko shouted with a bit too much rage.

"NEVARRRRR!" Ghost shouted back with an odd grin on his face. Anko sighed before her instincts went into high gear and she automatically grabbed another kunai hidden in her coat as she turned to counter the dark presence behind her, only to stop when she saw a Kusa genin holding a kunai with her very long tongue in front of her.

"Your kunai…" She purred as she tilted her hat downward.

"Why thank you." Anko grinned, grabbing the kunai with the hand that had just moments before threatened to cut the tongue off. "A bit of warning, though: if you want to live longer, don't approach me from behind with that much killing intent. I have a tendency to… slip if something doesn't feel right…"

"My apologies…" The genin hissed. "It's just that I get excited when blood is spilled… and you cut my precious hair when you threw that first kunai… I couldn't help myself… although you do look quite… happy with your boyfriend over there…"

Anko rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Being with that idiot is anything other than enjoyable…"

"That's a different song than the one you were singing last night, Anko! It's a lot shorter, too, if you guys get what I'm…" Several kunai embedded themselves between Ghost's legs. "I'll be good…" Ghost whimpered as all the men watching the spectacle crossed their legs.

Anko turned to Naruto, who immediately jumped off the bench and went back to his team. "Yeah, yeah. Torturing later, I know…" He grumbled, though not really regretting what he had done.

Anko smirked as she turned to the genin. "Right! Before I explain the rules of the exam, I have to give you all something…" She reached into her coat and brought out a large pile of papers.

"What are those?" Hinata asked curiously.

Anko's smirk widened even more. "These, my friend, are release waivers that you all must sign before entering the next stage. For your information, there will be killing and deaths in this next test. These papers here are so that if or when you do die, I won't get held responsible. Isn't that just great folks?" Anko grinned before flaring her killing intent. "Seriously, though. No paper, no test. Got it? Once your entire team signs their papers, hand them to the people in the booth that the pervert is nailed to… not the pervert, those other three guys."

"Hi. We…" The random chūnin waved.

"Right, enough about them… they're not that important anyways." Anko interrupted, causing said chūnin to cry. "Onto the rules of the exam." She took out a scroll from her jacket. "First, the fighting area." She unraveled the scroll to show a picture of the training grounds. "You guys will spend the next exam here, in training ground 44. It's a circular area with a 10 km radius, complete with a river flowing throughout it and a tower in the middle. There are also, ironically enough, 44 separate entrances to the training grounds. Once you hand in your papers and get your scroll, you will go to a randomly chosen gate and wait for the signal, where you will then enter the grounds and participate in a no holds barred scroll battle."

"Scroll battle?" Tenten asked curiously.

Anko nodded as she took out two scrolls labeled heaven and earth. "Each team will receive one of these two scrolls. Since there are 22 teams, there will be 11 of each. Your goal is to collect one of each scroll and reach the tower in the middle of the forest within 5 days. If a teammate dies or is lost before you can enter the tower, you are disqualified. If you open a scroll before entering the tower, you are disqualified. If you do not reach the tower and/or not collect both scrolls in time, you are disqualified. Please note that after we let you guys in, you WILL spend 5 days in the forest, regardless of your team's standing or condition."

"But what about food?!" Chōji shouted, gaining more than a few irritated looks.

Anko shrugged. "You're on your own, kid. The forest's full of the stuff, just make sure you don't get killed by the giant animals, poisonous plants, bloodsucking insects, exploding squirrels, the boogeymen…" Anko started to list off more and more unlikely inhuman obstacles with her hands as the genin sweat dropped. "…Anyways, the point is you guys are probably going to die in there, so hand in those forms already so that I can rest easy knowing that it isn't my fault." Anko concluded with a comical look of commitment on her face, making everyone watching face fault.

"Wait, one more thing before you guys go to your gates…" A voice called out from behind the group. Everyone turned around to see Ghost standing there with his hands behind his back without his coat or pants on, showing to the world that he wears black boxers with red and green mushrooms with eyes on them, and that his legs were extremely muscular and lean with surprisingly little hair on them. Giving the shed a quick glance, everyone saw that his pants and coat were still nailed to the side.

"Damn it Ghost, put your pants on!" Anko shouted while blushing madly, along with several other females in the crowd.

"Pants are nothing but a constricting illusion, Anko…" Ghost lectured in an airy tone before pulling his arms from behind his back to reveal that he had eight headbands hanging from each arm, making them chime with a little shaking from his arms. "… but I think these head protectors are pretty damn real if you ask me." Everyone in the crowd blinked a few times before several realized that their protectors were missing from their heads and looking at Ghost in shock… including Orochimaru, who also had his headband stolen… while he was wearing a freaking hat none the less. The Sannin had caught glimpses of Ghost's arms around several genin's heads while Anko chased him, but he did not suspect that even he was subjected to the man's foolish antics! He almost didn't notice Ghost toss him his protector in time and nearly dropped it! Him! Orochimaru of the Sannin!

Naruto's eyes momentarily flashed as Ghost tossed the Kusa genin that Orochimaru was disguised as his protector. ' _That was the signal… Orochimaru was definitely the same person as last time…'_

Shikamaru noticed Naruto's reaction as the Kusa genin barely caught her headband. ' _So that's Orochimaru, eh? Troublesome…'_

Gaara frowned as he saw Shikamaru and Naruto look at the Kusa-nin with a sharp and analytical demeanor. ' _Soon…'_

Hinata caught her crush staring at the Kusa-nin and saw his hands twitch nervously. ' _That's the one he warned me about… I hope you know what you're doing Naruto-kun… I don't want to lose you…'_

Neji saw Naruto and Shikamaru glare at the Kusa-nin that Ghost had just stolen her headband from. He read both of their emotions to the best of his ability without using his bloodline and was honestly surprised. Both Naruto and Shikamaru were apprehensive, nervous… borderline scared shitless. Emotions that the two rarely expressed… actually, it was normally extremely difficult to read emotions off the two, even with his advanced hellstromism skills.

It was obvious that Ghost's thievery of the woman's protector was not coincidental… but why would they go through so much trouble? … Unless there was something else going on in the Exams… something that no one is supposed to know about. He would have to examine this information later… for now he was concerned about the genin in question. If she was strong enough to put Naruto and Shikamaru on edge… then it would be best if he avoided her team…

Ghost smirked. "I hope you guys learned not to let your guard down… 'cause there's a good chance that if you do it in there…" He nodded his head to the forest… "… It'll be the last thing you'll ever do. Try not to die though, I'm expecting some high grade entertainment from you brats pretty soon…" He struck a monkey-like pose. "No pressure though…" He paused as Anko appeared behind him with a kunai at his neck. "… Scratch that last comment. Please don't kill me…"

After brutally maiming Ghost and giving the genin reason to fear their proctor far more than their oncoming test, Anko gave the group the okay to start handing in their forms inside the blocked hut. One by one, the teams were given their scrolls and a random gate to enter from.

"Heheheh." Naruto chuckled evilly as the teams made their way to their respective gates. "This is gonna be fuuuuun."

Sakura sighed. "As long as your 'fun' doesn't directly involve me or Sasuke-kun, I don't care what you do."

Sasuke smirked. "I dunno, Sakura. In a situation like this, Naruto's stunts have a tendency to help us out… and provide us a bit of entertainment on the side…"

"You see Sakura-chan? Sasuke knows how to have fun now, why can't you?" Naruto pouted childishly… desperately trying to hide his anxiety as to what would happen soon…

o. o. o.

With Team 10:

"Aww man!" Chōji groaned. "I hate living off the environment! You never know what the hell is safe to eat there!"

"Oh nooo." Ino drawled on sarcastically. "Whatever shall we do if Chōji does not get his daily dose of MSG?"

"Shut up, you two." Shikamaru sighed. "Let's just get this over with. Chōji, I thought something like this might happen, so I packed a few ration scrolls this morning. Ino, stop making fun of Chōji already and start thinking about how to manipulate the situation to our advantage. You've been here before, so give me some intel on what to look out for and any particular landmarks that I should be aware of considering where we are starting from…" He frowned. "I have a feeling that something troublesome is gonna happen soon…"

o. o. o.

With Team 8:

"All right!" Kiba shouted. "A survival mission! We are going to kick so much ass in this exam!"

"Kiba-kun, please calm down." Hinata muttered. "Otherwise the other teams will find us…"

"I concur." Shino agreed. "You can have time to yell and rant after we establish ourselves in the forest…"

Kiba grumbled in acknowledgement as Hinata smiled gently and turned in the direction that Team 7 left towards. ' _Naruto-kun… be careful…'_

o. o. o.

With the Sound team:

"So we're going to go after the Uchiha's team right?" Kin whispered to Dosu.

Said unofficial leader nodded. "Yeah. Kin, you take on pinkie, she doesn't look like she can put up much of a fight, while Zaku completes our objective…"

Zaku smirked. "And you torture the blonde idiot, right?"

Dosu growled. "He embarrassed me in front of everyone taking the exams and revealed my attack strategies for everyone to analyze and plan against. I will make him suffer," He flexed his right arm inside the backup gauntlet. It still hurt something fierce, but he could still use it in battle at least. "… but Orochimaru-sama's orders come first…"

o. o. o.

Orochimaru's team:

"So we are to intercept THAT team, correct?" One of the two nameless grunts asked their hidden leader.

Orochimaru nodded. "Yes. However, I wish to make a small… modification to our original plan…" The Snake Sannin chuckled darkly as his group approached their respective gate. "Just to make sure that there are no… hindrances along the way…"

o. o. o.

Back with Anko and Ghost 30 minutes later, after the test had just started:

"You do realize that if you weren't so valuable right now, Anko would have left far more complicated injuries on you…" Hana lectured as she was stuck once again bringing Ghost back from the brink of death. "You're just lucky I expected this to happen and was nearby."

Ghost mock gasped. "Anko! The worst has happened! We have become… predictable!"

Anko frowned. "Not now, Ghost. If your intel is true, then that bastard," she spat out with venom, "should be around here somewhere… and I want to test my new techniques on him…" She held her hand in front of her face and watched the five dark orange snakes slither from her coat sleeve.

Ghost sighed as he stood up. "Yeah, yeah. Just make sure you don't get yourself killed if you do cross paths with him, Anko. You're a hot piece of ass, and we all do a lot of kinky stuff together, but necrophilia is something I will never do." He stretched a bit to check that Hana healed most of the injuries that Anko gave him. "I gotta check up on something, so I'll see you guys later. Just make sure that you don't do anything too stupid while I'm gone…" And with that, Ghost walked towards the wood and disappeared.

Hana sighed. Anko had been uptight all day, and only Ghost's chaotic antics could cause her friend to unwind even remotely. Scratching the head of one of her triplets, the Inuzuka heiress took out a pack of cards. "While we wait for whatever the hell we're waiting for, you wanna play a few games of poker?"

Anko stared at Hana for a few seconds before sighing and walking up to the bench that Hana was sitting on. "Sure, why not? What do you want to wager?"

Hana paused for a moment before developing an evil grin and leaning forward to whisper something in Anko's ear. Anko blushed for a moment before laughing heavily. "Hahahaha! Wow girl! You HAVE been spending too much time with me and Ghost! I'm in!"

Already halfway across Konoha, Ghost shivered. He had a feeling that something horrendously odd yet incredibly sexy was going to happen to him soon… but that could be dealt with later. He had to make appropriate preparations soon; otherwise he had no doubt that Shadow really would kill him on sight.

o. o. o.

In another universe:

"Okay. Let's go over the list one more time." Scabbard sighed as he looked at Waltz with a tired expression. "The cloaking device is set, we are located in an isolated area, all the necessary materials are gathered, all the necessary food is gathered, proper shelter has been set up, traveling materials have been accounted for, knowledge of the nearest stores and restaurants are known, money is accounted for, papers are organized, trading materials are properly stored away, wounds are healed, everyone's brushed up on their Japanese, and most importantly of all …" He and Waltz turned to Shadow and Crypt, who were both not only beaten to near death, but contained in relatively small spheres created by Waltz's ice barriers. "Crypt and Shadow are incapacitated and contained until construction of the dimensional portal is complete. Thank all that is holy that my sources managed to convince pretty much everyone in the country that we had died in that LAST explosion."

"… We really have to find a better way to hide ourselves… convincing people that we died in a freak explosion is getting pretty old…"

Waltz chuckled as he leaned against his large staff. "Tell me about it. It's fun for the first few hundred times, but one starts to get worried with the entire thing when the smell of your cooked flesh doesn't concern you anymore."

"I like hot dogs." Crypt commented before Waltz bashed the man's container against the ground hard, causing Crypt to shake around like the ball in a rattle.

"No talking, Crypt. You lost your speaking privileges due to your stupidity again." Waltz lectured.

"Awwwww." Crypt moaned before Waltz slammed his container into the ground again.

Waltz turned to Scabbard. "Scab, how long do you think it'll take to get everything ready? You know I can only hold both of these two for so long… or until I have to go to the bathroom."

Scabbard sighed as he focused on the pile of various metals in front of him that the group had managed to either draw from the earth's reserves or found in a nearby warehouse. "With what we have here, I should be done constructing the actual machine in about 6 hours… but then I have to program the machine and the self-destruct function so that some idiot doesn't find it and screw everyone and everything over. That'll take another 4 hours…"

Waltz raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't that normally take around 2 hours, even with dealing with a new dimension and location?"

Scabbard smirked slightly. "Well, yes, but the thing is that I only recently got myself a copy of Windows 7, and I wanted to make some adjustments so that…"

"No." Waltz, Shadow (who was oddly enough still out cold), and Crypt said at once.

"But I could…" Scabbard attempted to explain.

"No." The three repeated in unison. "You can experiment with the fabric of time and space meshed with Windows products on your own spare time, Scabbard, but you are NOT going to use us as guinea pigs. Not after what happened last time…" Waltz stated firmly, flaring some of his Presence for good measure and causing Scabbard to shiver.

"Fine… fine. The older version it is." Scabbard sighed as he got back to work forging several circuit boards and the glass lenses for the temporal rift wavelengths. "Kill joys." He grumbled under his breath.

A/N:

Yeah… Danzō's arm… wow. I did not expect it to be something like that. I'm also liking the bit where Kishimoto is adding more characters from the other clans into the story. It makes the whole 'Naruto's friends are in actual clans instead of small families' thing more believable.

So! I have decided that I will updated every Friday-ish time, meaning give or take a couple of days focused on Friday, depending on how I feel and how much I have gotten done. I think this gives me more breathing room as to my self-imposed schedule so that my chapters can come out better.

For those of you who are curious, yes, Gaara got a chain link and yes, Naruto took it back. I just forgot to mention it at the time due to me wanting to finish the chapter and sheer ignorance. I apologize if I had confused any of you.

Anyways, please review. The current goal of 400 reviews by chapter 30 still stands, and from what I have gotten from the last chapter, seems very possible and likely.

Oh yeah. HOLY SHIT IT TOOK ME **THIS** LONG TO GET TO THE FREAKING CHUNIN EXAMS?! WHAT THE HELL?


	29. And all hell broke loose, with candy canes and licorice sticks.

https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 29: And all hell broke loose, with candy canes and licorice sticks.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

With Gaara's team:

"Hey, Temari…" Kankuro whispered as they followed their brother through the massive forest. "Have you noticed something… off about Gaara lately? … Well, off for him, I mean?"

Temari snuck a glance at her red headed little brother before she turned her attention to Kankuro. "You mean aside the fact that he's actually listening to our advice from time to time and that he hasn't threatened to kill us nearly as much as he normally does? Seriously, if it weren't for the fact that we're vital pieces in the upcoming war on Konoha, I would be both jumping for joy and expecting mom to rise from the grave to eat us all at the same time…"

Kankuro shivered. "I know what you mean. Gaara is finally acting more… human, and we're both expecting the world to end because of it…"

"You know, I can hear everything you two are saying…" Gaara droned, nearly causing his siblings to shit themselves. Because he was in front, the two elder siblings did not see Gaara almost smirk. True, their reactions to his slightly adjusted behavior were a bit disheartening, but even though he appeared to have a no-nonsense attitude, it didn't mean he couldn't pull a small joke on people once in a while. Besides, it was a limited opportunity; after they got used to him acting like this, he wouldn't be able to pull this trick again. "… If you two really don't approve of my current behavior … I could always…" The cork of his gourd started to unscrew itself slowly.

"NO! NO! We like the new you! Don't we, Temari?!" Kankuro almost screamed franticly.

"YES! YES WE DO!" Agreed Temari in an almost hysterical manner. Gaara had to admit, if it weren't for the fact that they actually thought he was going to kill him and that they thought he was still a homicidal maniac, even he would be laughing to a small degree.

… He really needed to stop hanging around Naruto so much. He had only spent a few days with the blonde, and he was already pulling small jokes on his siblings… not that anyone noticed yet, of course. "We were just curious about your… change. It's… different from what we're used to…"

Gaara sighed as he pondered what his two elder siblings were thinking while ignoring Shukaku's drunken rants for blood. While Kankuro still needed a bit of work, Temari had always shown at least SOME concern for him, even when he was looking for blood. To know that she was concerned about him and actually saying it to him meant that his change in behavior was more apparent than he originally thought. True, he still threatened to kill them every once in a while – well, Kankuro more often than not - , but he was really just tired of saying it all the damn time. Honestly, did he really love to kill THAT much when he was this age? The thought of even potentially saving his father was less and less appealing, now more than ever.

"… It's nothing…" Gaara answered in a monotone voice. "... nothing you have to concern yourself with…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto's team:

"Wow." Naruto mused as he sniffed the air in the forest and ran through the tree branches with his team. "I never thought that I would find a place that smells naturally more threatening and lethal than Anko's apartment… or Kiba's laundry… but I was proven completely wrong. This place is completely filled with poisons, deadly animals, carcasses…"

"We get it dobe, this place is deadly. You can shut up now." Sasuke growled.

"Was Kiba's laundry really that bad?" Sakura asked curiously. "You would think that since he lived in the Inuzuka clan compound, they wouldn't mind that much…"

Naruto shook his head. "Hana-sensei told me that it's so bad that he had to do his own laundry by the time he was eight because no one else in the family would get near it anymore. At one point, he smelled so bad that they actually kicked him out of the compound until he did his laundry 'cause they couldn't wait for him to clean his clothes."

Sasuke smirked. "Thanks for the blackmail material, dobe."

Naruto nodded. "Anytime, teme."

Sakura hung her head down. "Ugh. Boys. Wait, how do you even know what Kiba's laundry smells like?"

Naruto sighed. "It involves a long story involving illegal betting, Ero-nii, Hana-sensei, several lessons on espionage, and a LOOOOOT of stolen panties. Do you really want to know?" His teammates shook their heads franticly, desiring to save themselves the mental images as Naruto paused for a moment as something caught both his sense of smell and his Seventh Sense. He continued on for a few seconds before landing on the ground. "Hold on a sec, guys. I gotta piss." He laughed a bit before brushing his thumb against his nose once and walking into the woods alone with his fingers laced behind his head. Sasuke and Sakura frowned a bit as he left their eyesight.

"Don't take too long, dobe…" Sasuke growled.

"I told you not to drink that much before the Exams started, dumbass!" Sakura yelled angrily.

The pair waited several minutes before Naruto came out of the bushes again. "Ahhh. Bladder's nice and empty, guys." He claimed as he walked towards the pair with a goofy grin. "Now let's get…" WHAM! Sasuke decked Naruto hard in the face, sending him into a tree, where he was momentarily stunned as Sakura pinned him in place with several kunai and shuriken. "What the hell!" Naruto shouted. "What the hell are you doing?!"

"Can it." Sakura growled as she canceled the transformation technique on the boy, revealing the Ame genin that, ironically enough, had attacked them in the same manner the previous time they took the Exams. "Naruto knew you were there in the first place and told us, as well as the fact that you didn't signal us that you were actually him…"

"Wow. I'm surprised." The real Naruto commented as he walked out of the bushes. "You guys actually managed to take him down before I could come back from my break." He laughed as he walked back with his fingers laced behind his head.

"What?!" The Ame-nin shouted. "But I tied you up!"

Naruto shrugged. "Shadow clone." He replied simply. "You know, it's pretty rude and risky to attack someone while they're taking a leak. What if they turn around? Then you have to spend the entire day smelling like…"

"Naruto!" Sasuke and Sakura shouted at once to shut up their teammate.

Naruto sheepishly chuckled. "Right. Sorry." He turned to Sasuke. "Did he have anything interesting?"

Sasuke smirked as he held up an earth scroll, exactly what they needed. "Yep…" He smirked as he tossed it to Naruto.

Naruto mimicked his teammate as he put the scroll in his pouch. "Nice. Take his other equipment too, just in case…"

"Unlucky…" The genin growled. "If you little kids think…"

Sakura interrupted the man quickly as she blazed through some hand signs. "Yeah, that's nice. Good night." As she finished speaking, the genin instantly fell asleep due to the genjutsu Sakura had put on him. Afterwards the team searched their unconscious victim for any equipment and useful items and promptly removed them from his possession.

The genin started towards the tower and were travelling for a few minutes when the conversation started again. "How long will the genjutsu that you put on him last?" Sasuke asked curiously.

Sakura shrugged. "Long enough, hopefully. If something happens to us we MIGHT end up seeing him again in the forest, but otherwise we'll have passed the test long before he wakes up…"

Naruto shrugged. "Sweet." He turned to Sasuke. "By the way, did you see any of those teams that were weak against genjutsu in this part of the exam, teme?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, a few of them passed, but they were all walking to the other side of the training grounds when all the teams were sent to their gates, so I doubt we'll run into them. Not like we actually need to now, really."

Naruto smirked. "Ah, who cares? Anyways, we have both scrolls, so I guess this means…"

"NO!" Sasuke and Sakura shouted at once. "Don't even THINK along those lines! You know that when you do, something horrendously bad happens…"

Naruto was about to say something witty when he paled dramatically. "… shit…"

Sakura looked at Naruto nervously. "There's someone obscenely strong near us, isn't there?"

Naruto gulped in confirmation. "I hate you SO much right now, dobe…" Sasuke growled as the wind started to pick up near the three.

"GET DOWN!" Naruto roared as he formed the dragon sign and attempted to focus the air so that it wouldn't blow them all away. The other two immediately reacted by diving into some nearby bushes for cover. Despite Naruto's skill in air manipulation, he was having a hell of a time not getting blown away… not that he wasn't going to eventually let himself, mind you, but it was the first time that someone other than Ghost had actually proven to be more potent in large scale wind based attacks then he was.

Sasuke and Sakura gaped from the bushes as they actually saw Naruto's air defenses struggle against the massive gale assaulting him while blowing away nearby bushes and massive tree branches as if they were nothing. They had known that the blonde could control the air around him, of course, but this was the first time they could actually SEE it in action against something big. They saw Naruto holding his arms up in front of him while dust and other debris flashed by, curving around an invisible shield that was roughly 3 meters across. Naruto kept up this shield for roughly 15 seconds before he 'lost' control after getting hit in the head by a small rock and getting blown away.

"Naruto!" The remaining two members of Team 7 shouted as the blonde was launched deep into the forest. Soon afterwards, the wind died down.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura cried out. "We have to get to Naruto, quick!"

Sasuke frowned. "… I think there's a problem with that plan, Sakura…" He turned to the direction that the wind attack had originated from.

Sakura turned to where Sasuke was facing and stared intently. Within several moments, she could hear the footsteps of someone not even trying to hide their presence anymore. "Kukukuku…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"God Damn It That Fucking Hurt!" Naruto shouted as he managed to crawl out of the debris he was temporarily part of. Shaking himself vigorously to get the shivers out of his system, he steadied himself and had a good look around while reaching out with his Seventh Sense. It took him almost no time to notice that something was seriously wrong. Yes, there was indeed a giant snake right behind him, but there were also two people hiding nearby and observing his every move. That did not bode well, as the snake took the initiative and snuck up behind the blonde.

Naruto thought frantically about what he should do as the snake closed in on him. He COULD go ape shit on the snake and try to take the two men out soon afterwards, but he had a sneaking suspicion that these two men were the guys that Orochimaru had snuck into the exam with him under the guise of the Kusa genin team. Ghost had told Naruto that he himself had no fucking clue as to what happened to the pair, and he should expect that, in a worst case scenario, they would move in as well. If that was the case, then showing off was definitely not the smart thing to do.

That being the case, the **smart** thing to do would be to kill the snake from the inside by getting eaten and blowing it up with a lot of shadow clones so that his opponents would still be left in the dark about his abilities. Hopefully, if he stayed long enough in the snake's stomach, the enemy would assume he's dead before busting his way out. Yeah… something was definitely wrong with that idea, for some odd reason.

Well then, it was time for plan C… improvise a cunning plan and distract with childish behavior. Deciding to get back into character moments later, Naruto looked around as if he couldn't tell he was surrounded. "Where the hell am I?" He mumbled to himself. "Oi Teme! Sakura! You guys there?!"

At this point the snake was right behind Naruto and rearing its giant head. Mentally sighing and weeping to himself, Naruto decided to finally act and turned around suspiciously. Just like last time, he dodged out of the way from the initial bite, only to be bitch slapped by the tail of the monstrosity and quickly eaten afterwards. He would spare the giant purse five minutes, then it would enjoy the rest of its existence as jambalaya.

o. o. o.

Outside the doomed reptile:

"Well. That was… fast." Grumbled the first crony.

"Yeah." Replied the second from another tree. "From what Orochimaru-sama told us, you would have assumed that the brat would completely butcher the summon … or at least lasted longer than five seconds."

The first chuckled. "Kabuto must be slipping. You can't really blame him, being a spy and Orochimaru-sama's right hand man for so long. I mean come on, a sensor, kage-level reserves, and a strong wind element at age 13? I mean, come on. We are shinobi, but there are _limits_ , for crying out loud."

The second chuckled, agreeing with his partner. The pair of ninja that accompanied Orochimaru were handpicked for their stealth, espionage, and acting skills, both being ranked special jōnin due to their talents. Their combat skills were not the greatest in the Sound village, but that wasn't really needed considering that they were in the _Chūnin_ Exams, of all things. The pair of them could easily take on some random chūnin hopeful.

It had been two minutes since Naruto had been swallowed by the snake when they heard the blonde's muffled cry from the snake's stomach. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" The pair looked curiously at the snake as its stomach grew rapidly before exploding into several thousand meaty bits. The enemy ninja stared wide eyed as hundreds of Narutos appeared from the belly of the snake… then their eyes grew wider as wind element chakra blades erupted from their stomachs, piercing several vital organs and arteries.

"H-How…?" Stuttered the man who had somehow managed to cling onto life for a few more moments.

The clone behind him frowned. "I knew you two and the snake were there from the very beginning. I can make clones quite a distance away from my original body without seals. That being the case, I pretended to be dazed and confused and then let myself get eaten to provide a distraction while myself and the other clone took you two out."

The man spat out blood. "How did you know… the clones and the snake… would work…?"

The clone smirked. "Past experience." It got behind the man's ear and whispered to him. "Normally I would enjoy fighting you guys up front before humiliating you, but my teammates require my help. When you get to hell, tell the Shinigami that Orochimaru is coming by real soon…" Both assassinating clones then blew themselves, and thus their victims, up with the Exploding Clone technique, hiding the way that the two spies were actually killed. The real Naruto would have paused a moment to keep his lunch down from the sight and the memories, but he was already heading in the direction of Orochimaru and his hopefully still alive team.

o. o. o.

With said doomed team members:

 _'Fuck fuck fuck Fuck Fuck_ ** _FUCK_** _!'_ Were the thoughts of one Sasuke Uchiha as he and a very terrified Sakura Haruno raced through the forest at breakneck speed.

"S-Sasuke-kun." The pink haired girl stammered. "What t-the hell is she?"

Sasuke breathed heavily as he attempted to get his thoughts together. "Someone that is DEFINITELY not supposed to be here, Sakura. You felt that monstrous killing intent. That guy is on Ghost-sensei's level!" He shivered, trying not to think of who was more dangerous at the moment. "As much as I hate to admit it, we need the Dobe if we want to have even a chance of living through this…" Hell, to be honest, Sasuke and Sakura would have probably still been frozen in place if they hadn't already experienced killing intent on that level and been trained to somewhat perform under that particular brand of pressure.

"Hoooh?" Hissed a very familiar voice from right behind them. "Surely the mighty Uchiha doesn't need the aid of a common brat in order to fight someone stronger than himself?" Sasuke and Sakura panicked as they jumped off in different directions while spamming kunai and shuriken at the odd, seemingly-Kusa genin, who simply dodged all the attacks with ease and disappeared into the bushes.

"I wouldn't if I weren't up against someone ridiculous like you, lady!" Sasuke retorted. "I'm confident, not stupid!"

"Kukuku." The voice chuckled from the darkness. "Such humbling words… yet so weak. I wonder what your brother would say…"

"Teme! Sakura!" A familiar voice shouted from the woods.

"Naruto!" Sakura replied in relief. "We need your help! Now!"

Naruto's figure appeared next to Sakura. "Listen!" He hissed. "I'm just a clone! The original is busy fighting a huge ass snake and two ninja at once! He'll get here eventually, but it will take some time! Stall the bastard by any means necessary! I can tell how strong he is. Teme! Fight him! You'll waste less chakra if you keep your eyes on him instead of constantly running away like a pussy!" He turned to Sakura again, clearly ignoring the shocked look on Sasuke's face. "Back him up, but do it subtly and make sure you're well hidden. I'll do the same, but just in case, make sure to stay out of my blast range, if you know what I mean."

Sakura shivered a moment before steadying herself and looked at the clone with conviction. "Right. There's no point in cowering now." With that she dashed to hide herself in the woods.

Sasuke on the other hand was taking deep breaths. Damn it. Not only was the dobe lecturing him through a freaking CLONE now, but even Sakura was gathering herself faster than he was. He opened his eyes to reveal his three tomoe Sharingan eyes. "Dobe, you better get your ass here quick…" He growled.

The Kusa genin chuckled as she walked out of some nearby bushes confidently. "Kukukukuku. Three tomoe already, Sasuke-kun? You are becoming more and more interesting by the second." She licked her face. "Please don't disappoint me, my prey…"

"Don't think I'll be such an easy opponent to take down…" Sasuke growled before he rushed through some hand signs and blew out a giant fireball. The enemy dodged the conflagration rather quickly and rushed her opponent in what quickly became a pretty impressive taijutsu battle. Thanks to his Sharingan and his training sessions with Gai and Lee, the Uchiha had managed to fight his opponent to a stalemate for the time being, mainly focusing on countering and avoiding blows in order to save his stamina for when the time came.

"Kukukuku." The woman chuckled as she blocked several attacks. "Your taijutsu skills are marvelous, Sasuke-kun. You truly are a genius…"

"Not to be rude, but I'm far from flattered lady…" Sasuke growled as he barely dodged a kick to his head. ' _Damn it Sakura, Dobe… hurry up with that bloody support already…'_

Several moments later, his wish was answered in the form of his opponent's reaction time slowing down by barely a fraction of a second. Not much, but that was more than enough to reduce the pressure he was currently under. Sasuke smirked to himself as he guessed what Sakura had just done and was thanking the Dobe's luck that it was exactly what he needed at the moment.

Sakura was hiding in some bushes nearby and creating layer after layer of genjutsu in order to make sure that she was not detected and that the illusions that she was casting on the enemy would not go away with one flare of chakra. Thinking back, Sakura could only thank all that was holy that she spent more time with Kurenai after realizing that with Naruto and Sasuke on her team, medical ninjutsu would probably be less useful than genjutsu.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Alright guys, today we are going over the three main types of genjutsu." Kurenai lectured to the twelve genin in front of her.

"Three types?" Naruto asked curiously.

Kurenai nodded. "Yes. Outer illusions, inner illusions, and hypnosis based illusions." She listed. "Can any of you tell me what the difference between them are?"

Sakura raised her hand. "Outer illusions are genjutsu that are based on changing the appearance of something so that the outside world interprets it differently, similar to our transformation technique, or illusions that change what the surroundings look like to outsiders. They are commonly known to be the easiest and least restricting illusions to cast, but they are also rather simple to dispel and detect."

"Inner illusions are genjutsu that are cast on individuals that adjust how the targets interpret the world around them without alerting others. This can include making them see or hear things differently than everyone else. They are slightly more difficult to cast due to the larger number of senses they affect at once, but they are also harder to initially detect and dispel. They are frequently used to augment the caster mentally or secretly cripple the opponent in some manner."

"Hypnosis based genjutsu are often the most difficult type of illusion that a person can cast. They are capable of manipulating all of a person's senses at once and can, if used correctly, completely shatter the psyche of the victim, but are most commonly used for interrogation techniques and defeating strong shinobi. Some are also known to be capable of lasting a _very_ long time, sometimes years after they are initially cast."

Kurenai nodded. "That is correct, Sakura. While there are of course some exceptions to what you have just said, the explanations you gave us were more than enough to give everyone a good idea of how they work." She turned to the rest of the class. "While studying under me, you will all learn to detect and dispel genjutsu up to the inner illusion level, which is roughly B-class level, with some exceptions. Those of you who are focusing in this field will, by the Chūnin Exams, become proficient in outer illusions and be able to cast some inner illusions as well. If possible, we will also be covering multiple layer genjutsu…"

o. o. o.

While the pink haired girl was thanking all the gods she could think of and several of the random deities that Ghost-sensei worshipped in his occasional insanity spasms that she took those extra lessons in advanced genjutsu layering, she was busy casting a third reaction delay illusion on her opponent after placing the fourth camouflage and stealth illusion on herself for good measure. Being not a complete idiot, she made sure that the reaction delay illusions she had cast would be so incredibly minor that even a speed demon like Lee would not notice them for a while. There was no way in hell she would risk using her stronger illusions, because this freak was likely strong enough that her stronger illusions would be quickly detected – and therefore become useless - , or worse, encourage the freak to target her instead. The woman's killing intent was enough to determine that her currently strongest illusions were almost useless against her.

Lucky for her and Sasuke, the monster was solely focused on the Uchiha, and likely would assume that the new 'increases' in his speed were either him becoming more confident in himself, or that he was using his Sharingan more. It was a major drain on her chakra pools, but she would rather be exhausted than dead.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was currently stuck between a battle frenzy and shitting himself. He had not been pushed this far in a fight since Haku, and even then it did not seem nearly as dangerous as the fight right now. While fighting the homicidal woman, the boy could only mentally bless his luck that he had his 3 tomoe Sharingan and his previous conditioning training with Lee and Gai, or else he doubted he would have lasted this long.

If he lived through this horrendous experience, he would never make fun of the pair's sense of fashion ever again. Well, maybe not never… but a massive reduction was in order, at least. With his eyes active, he could see Sakura's genjutsu in place and where his teammate was. Jumping back for a brief reprieve, he quickly unsheathed his blade.

"Oh? So our little Sasuke-kun fancies himself a swordsman…" The woman chuckled, withdrawing a kunai. "Well then, shall we dance?"

Sasuke roared as he charged his opponent and restarted the battle. Several times, their blades clashed and sparks erupted between the two of them as they danced around each other expertly. The woman seemed to be holding her own with little difficulty until Sasuke managed to slash her with a long but very shallow gash along her arm, which amused her at first until she registered the unusual burning sensation and noticed that the wound was completely burnt and wider than initially expected. Looking at her opponent, she noticed that his sword had a very low red glow to its edge. Sasuke smirked, recalling the lessons that Kakashi had told him about augmenting his weapons with fire chakra.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Sasuke…" Kakashi lectured as his student practiced his sword katas. "What do you think fire chakra acts like when it enters another person's body?"

Sasuke blinked at his teacher in a curious manner. "… I don't know… fire? How else is it supposed to act?"

Kakashi sighed. "Well, yes, but I meant other than fire." He looked at the boy seriously. "… It acts like poison."

Sasuke frowned at this new information. "Poison?"

Kakashi nodded. "Fire eats away at anything in its presence without pause, reducing whatever it's feeding on to a near useless form, regardless of how strong it was if given enough time." He let his words sink in for a moment before he continued.

"Lightning based chakra acts in a faster, similar manner, but the damage and side-effects do not last nearly as long. Wind based chakra simply cuts through with the least amount of resistance and can increase the length of the blade, water enhances the fluidity of the strikes and the cutting power, though not nearly as much as wind does, and earth enables the user to hit harder without breaking."

"The thing about fire enhanced weapons is that you want it to be in contact with your opponent for as long as possible. Make the chakra linger and deal wide spread damage. Make it eat away at your opponent's body after the blade has already left their flesh. It may seem a bit crude and merciless, but for a person like you, whose weakness is drawn out battles, this trait is your greatest ally…"

o. o. o.

"Fire element composition enforcement?!" The genin hissed as the red lingering glow of Sasuke's chakra shone in her arm and the skin near the wound grew more burnt and widened with each passing second. To say it looked painful would be an understatement. She frowned greatly as she focused her chakra to restrict the poisonous attack from spreading and cancel it out.

Sasuke smirked while breathing heavily and expertly twirling his sword, causing a dim red afterglow to shine in the air. "What? You looked surprised. Maybe you aren't so tough after all…" He was interrupted when he was blasted by a powerful wind that slammed him into a tree right behind him. The woman started to laugh.

"Kukukuku! I knew it was right to pick you, Sasuke-kun…" She hissed as she rose her killing intent again. "You are a genius of such a high caliber… you have so much potential… though you could do with some more focus training… I think I should play with you just a little more…"

Sasuke got a VERY bad feeling from how the woman was speaking to him… other than the massive pain in his back from slamming into that tree. "Dobe…!" He called out to the clone, praying that it was listening. "Get ready for a RED BRIDGE...!" He called out as he put away his sword and readied some kunai and shuriken. Half a moment later, he launched a flurry of said weapons at his overconfident opponent.

The enemy chuckled as she dodged the projectiles easily by leaning to the side. She was about to say something when the extremely fine and strong ninja wires that were laced between several of the weapons caught the woman and dragged her back until she hit the tree behind her. The connected kunai and shuriken then wrapped around the tree several times, ensuring that she wouldn't escape, while Sasuke channeled more fire chakra through the wires to burn and cut deep into the woman as he had managed to hold onto one end of the wires. Her screams of anguish and pain did not distract him as he formed the first hand sign. Naruto's clone appeared next to him and formed his first sign as well. "ETA 1.5 minutes!" It shouted.

"Right!" Sasuke replied as they flashed through their respective signs and took in a huge breath. The trapped genin's eyes widened as she realized that the burning sensation she was currently experiencing was soon going to be the least of her problems.

"FIRESTORM!" The pair shouted as the large flaming twister emerged with a thunderous roar and enveloped the enemy in an inferno. The clone had changed the nature of the technique so that while the shape of the twister was smaller than before, the sucking power and thus the heat of the attack increased, reducing the chance of the woman escaping the attack in case the wires failed at the last second. The twister engulfed the screaming woman completely and not only decimated the tree she was tied to, but sucked in anything that was within 10 meters of it.

Unfortunately, the technique only lasted ten seconds due to the fact that they were working with a clone of Naruto and not the real thing. That was still more than long enough to cause massive damage to a single person and the surrounding environment. After the clone popped out of existence, Sasuke quickly canceled his end of the attack as well to save what chakra he had left. Keeping his eyes active, he scanned the area damaged by the attack and prayed that they had done enough to at least make the homicidal woman retreat. To be honest, he didn't have that much chakra left and he was damn near exhausted from the constant running and then fighting he had just done.

His prayers were not answered, however, as he saw the woman's roasted body crack open and break the weakened wires to reveal yet another body inside, almost unscathed except for a few burn marks. "Kukuku." She chuckled darkly as she walked over to the stunned Uchiha. "Such a wonderfully destructive technique. Even I could not escape or repair all that damage…" She looked at Sasuke with a hungry look in her eye. "But I digress. It is time for us to depart, but allow me to give you a little parting gift…" Sasuke and Sakura both gaped as their enemy's neck elongated and her head launched towards the boy, her mouth wide open and her fangs shining in the dark.

At that moment, Sasuke did something that would be remembered for the rest of Team 7's life, and give Naruto more reasons to call Sasuke gay. As the head of the Kusa-nin approached the Uchiha, Sasuke channeled all the spontaneous and chaotic energy that he had absorbed from being around Naruto and Ghost for so long and instinctively exhaled quickly… creating a fast stream of burning fire… right down the attacking ninja's throat as she got close enough to bite him on the neck.

While Sasuke did still get bitten on the neck, it was safe to say that his opponent was not having a comfortable time either. Having a burnt raw throat is one thing, having an incinerated larynx that's over 30 feet long is a completely different story. One that is much more painful. It took everything that Orochimaru had in order to maintain his focus and give Sasuke the cursed seal before he quickly retracted his head and immediately performed another one of his personal replacement techniques, crawling out of his former body's mouth in front of Sasuke.

While most people would assume that the technique would immediately repair all damage dealt to the original body, there are some exceptions. Internal wounds get mostly healed, but damage involving invading chakra to internal organs still lingers in small amounts, as well as techniques that permanently alter the insides. What this meant was that while he appeared to be fine and without any injury, Orochimaru was still suffering from several minor burns in his throat, several scratches from where the wires had burned him, and a long second degree burn where Sasuke's sword scratched him. It was enough total damage that several pieces of his disguise were torn off and revealed a second, paler membrane underneath

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura shouted as her idol screamed in agony and grabbed the spot where his opponent bit him. Throwing caution to the wind, the frantic girl hurled several kunai and shuriken at the snake… thing, and ran to her tortured crush.

Orochimaru coughed several times while laughing and jumping back to dodge the projectiles. "Such will (cough) and resourcefulness! I am glad (cough) I gave you this gift, Sasuke-kun. My name is Orochimaru… and if you desire more po- (cough) wer, you will seek me…"

"SASUKE!" Roared a very worried and pissed off Naruto as he and several hundred shadow clones landed in the area. It took everything the blonde had to not jump in earlier and join in the fight, but he had to make sure Sasuke had received the curse seal or else things could have spiraled out of control. What appeared to be the original looked over the agonizing Uchiha and saw the seal appear on his neck. Frowning, he and another clone ran up to Sasuke and Sakura and picked them up on their backs despite their pain and embarrassment. "Hold on tight." He growled as he tapped into the Kyūbi's chakra, making his eyes glow red.

"Dobe…?" Sasuke gasped as he clung on to his teammate in an attempt to distract himself from his pain.

"Naruto... Sasuke's… your eyes?" Sakura whimpered out in bits and pieces as what just happened proved to be rather traumatizing for her.

"I'll get us to the tower, just don't let go until then." Reducing his gravity seal to 1x, Naruto and his clone rocketed towards the tower at an insane speed while the other hundreds of clones barred Orochimaru's path. The three were out of sight in less than a second, and Orochimaru noted that they would probably make it to the tower within twenty minutes if they could keep up the speed they were going. (A/N: Gaara's team made it to the tower within an hour and a half at a leisurely pace, even with the temporary slaughter stop on the way. That being the case, I am assuming that this time frame is more than reasonable.)

"Kuku(cough)kuku." Orochimaru chuckled. "So many shadow clones… and those eyes. So you're the Kyūbi brat… I thought you had died… fascinating"

"Not as dead as you're gonna be soon." Growled one of the clones as several dozen others charged at the Snake Sannin with rage.

o. o. o.

At the Ōgakari compound:

"YESSSS!" Ghost shouted at the top of his lungs in his clearly empty home as he stored his valuable cargo in a storage seal inside of his cost. "With these I may have a chance of surviving Shadow's wrath after all! Muahahahaha…!" Ghost's outer monologue was interrupted as someone knocked on his front door.

"Ooooo! A worshipper!" The energetic man pranced to his front door and opened it, only to find Jiraiya on the other side. "Oh." Ghost sighed in a disappointed manner. "It's just you."

Jiraiya frowned, ignoring Ghost's reaction to his appearance. "The bodies were found like we thought they'd be. Anko and Hana have already been alerted and are most likely in the forest by now…"

Ghost returned the frown with one of his own. "Crap. Orochimaru isn't the type to take prisoners. I'll get moving right away." The immortal took a few steps past the toad sage after closing his door before he paused. "Just a reminder, don't forget your punishment. Everyone who knows has already been given a heads up about it, and will not say a word about the subject unless it is absolutely necessary." He said in a dead tone. "If he finds out and we discover you were somehow behind it, I will not protect you from HIS wrath…" Ghost let his words linger in the air for a few moments before disappearing instantly without making a sound.

Jiraiya stood in place as he hung in head. His eyes were closed tightly as a single tear fell down his cheek.

Moments later, the compound was empty again.

o. o. o.

In the forest:

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed as he and his team traveled through the forest.

"Will you stop saying that already?!" Ino shouted loudly. "I'm on edge enough as it is being back here!"

Chōji sighed. Over the months since they had graduated the academy, the Akimichi had changed the most out of everyone. His body had become more muscular with less fat, although there was still a large amount on him. His forehead protector, which before looked like it was situated on a pair of stolen panties, was now sewn on a bandanna that covered the top of his head so that only a few strands of hair emerged here or there.

However, his most apparent change was his clothing. He had finally completed his special technique a month ago, and his family had been more than impressed with the results. That being the case, they decided to make him a beginning set of armor due to the fact that he was still too young for an adult's set. Using his current clothes as a basis, the blacksmiths who create the Akimichi armor crafted small plates of armor to lace his current clothing while still giving him adequate space to breathe. He was also given a pair of plain looking bracers on his arms and his legs as well to increase his striking power. All of these were of course made in a secret way as to change size and shape, a necessity with the Akimichi style of fighting. Of course, this did nothing to change the peaceful boy's personality. "Guys, can we please focus on the exam? Having you two go like this isn't really helping."

Shikamaru looked at his friend curiously and smirked. "Sure, Chōji. Let's get this exam over with so we can rest."

Ino groaned and muttered a few choice words before she calmed down. "Well then, oh mighty leader, tell us. What are we to do?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Simple. We head for the tower and set some traps. Everyone will get there eventually, with or without the scrolls. If we control the area before the finish line, we're bound to come across a team that has a heaven scroll. Besides, with our team's fighting style and Ino's experience here training under Anko-sensei, we should be able to pull it off with only minor issues."

Chōji looked at Shikamaru curiously. "But what happens if we come across one of the other rookie teams, Shika? Even though we're strong, we're still the weakest of the four teams…"

Shikamaru smirked confidently, getting a raised eyebrow from his teammates. "Chōji, do you really think I haven't considered that scenario…?"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in the massive forest:

"Man, those guys were easy!" Kiba chuckled loudly as Team 8 ran through the forest toward the tower in the center. They had just beaten a weak team from Konoha with a few jumping leeches that were in the forest and had barely had to lift a finger to knock them out. Luckily, they had an earth scroll, so now Hinata's team were on their way towards passing the test.

Shino frowned. "It would be advisable to be quiet now, Kiba. Now that we have both scrolls, we have become an even larger target for the other teams…"

Hinata nodded. "Shino's right, Kiba-kun. I would prefer to avoid any unnecessary battles for the rest of the exam…"

Kiba pouted. "Aww. You guys are no fun at all. Can't you just enjoy the moment for once?"

Shino frowned. "We all have our own ways of celebrating, Kiba. Unfortunately, it just so happens that yours is enough for all three of us…"

Hinata giggled as Kiba attempted to translate Shino's less than veiled insult. The team traveled for a few more minutes in silence as Kiba continued to hurt himself when he caught the scent of something. "Oi… wait up guys. I smell something." The team stopped a few moments so Kiba could focus more. "Hinata, could you look in that direction?" He pointed a bit to their left. "About one kilometer…"

Hinata nodded as she activated her bloodline without any seals and looked in the general direction Kiba was pointing to. It didn't take long for her to see what he had smelled. "There's a team from Ame standing in front of that team from Suna that Naruto-kun warned us about. It looks like they're going to fight soon…"

Kiba grinned. "Oh, we HAVE to check this out…"

Shino frowned. "That would be unadvisable, Kiba. What if they join forces and attack us?"

Kiba pouted. "Come on, Shino! This is a chance to see that guy with the gourd fight! That guy even has the dead last's attention, and that idiot only pays attention to ramen and jutsu. Besides, it's not like we're gonna jump in front of them and pick a fight, I just wanna watch…"

Hinata sighed as Kiba whined and Shino attempted to counter his teammate's moaning. "I think we should watch the fight…" Hinata stated, immediately getting an odd reaction from her teammates. "But ONLY to watch, and we will be a fair distance away from them to be safe. Is that agreeable?"

Kiba stuttered a bit while he just processed what Hinata just said. "Um… sure, I think."

Shino nodded slowly. "Those are… acceptable terms."

Hinata nodded as she still focused on the two teams staring each other down. "Right. Follow me and stay quiet. That means you, Kiba…"

"I get it, I yell a lot. Stop bringing that up already. Jeez." Kiba complained mostly to himself as the three went to witness the fight.

o. o. o.

With said circus performers… I mean ninja:

"Give us your scroll and we might just let you live, brats… You were pretty stupid to challenge us head on…" Smirked a confident Ame genin to the Suna genin, who just stared at the man in a bored manner.

"I have no intention of failing this exam…" Droned Gaara, causing his siblings to flinch. "Hurry up and fight me… old man from the Rain…"

The leader of the Rain team twitched at the comment and noted that everyone else listening to the conversation, including his teammates, were either trying to hold in their laughter or failing miserably. "Fine, then!" He roared as he withdrew his umbrellas from his back. With a flick of his wrists, all four of his umbrellas spun rapidly and launched themselves in the air. He immediately set up a hand sign and focused his chakra. "Die, you midget!" He shouted. "Raining Needles technique!" Needles launched themselves from the spinning umbrellas rapidly and converged above the uninterested Gaara, much to the watching Team 8's surprise. They had just arrived as the man whipped out his odd weapons. "There's no escape from this jutsu! All the needles are controlled by my chakra to strike their target!" He gloated as the needles impacted Gaara so rapidly that a large cloud of dust formed and impaired the observer's sight. "Heh. Too easy."

Hinata frowned as she activated her Byakugan. "No…" She whispered in a serious tone, getting her teammate's attention. "He's wrong…"

Shino and Kiba were about to ask what Hinata meant when the cloud settled down to reveal what she meant. There stood Gaara with the same expression on his face, surrounded by a shell of sand, littered with the metal needles that were supposed to have impaled him moments earlier. "Woah…" Kiba whispered. "Never saw something like that before… and that guy's chakra level is pretty damn big if I say so myself…" Shino nodded slowly in mute awe.

"Is that it?" Gaara asked in a bored tone.

"What?!" The shocked Ame genin shouted. "That's impossible! This attack can penetrate 5mm of steel!" The man panicked as he attempted to shoot several more of his needles in the gaps of the shell around Gaara. That proved to be futile as the shell surrounding Gaara rotated around him to block the attack. "What the hell is with that wall of sand?!"

Kankuro and Temari raised their eyebrows in curiosity. They had seen Gaara use his sand to protect him before, sure, but they had never seen him shift his shield in that manner before. That was new. Kankuro paused a moment before sighing and giving his opponent an explanation as to why he was going to supposedly die. "An attack like that won't work on Gaara. It's a sand based total defense. The sand is packed into the gourd with chakra… it protects his body and the surrounding area. It's something only Gaara can use, plus it all happens regardless of his will. It just happens automatically for some reason." He sighed. "Pretty much all attacks on him are useless. It was just your bad luck that you came across his path." He looked at the doomed man in the eyes. "You just can't beat him…"

Before anyone had any time to ponder what just happened, sand encompassed the entire team from Ame, freaking out anyone that was not familiar with the red head's style of attacking. "Desert Coffin…" Gaara mused as his shield sand retracted itself back into his gourd. Everyone watching the spectacle swallowed heavily as Gaara walked calmly to the three trapped Ame genin. "… Which scroll do you have?" He asked, to the mild shock of his siblings, who assumed he would kill first and ask questions later.

"Th-the heaven scroll!" The smallest Ame-nin replied hysterically.

Gaara looked at him intensely. "… If you value your lives…" Out of the corner of everyone's eyes, they saw Gaara lift up a log with his sand and crush it instantly without breaking a sweat. What they didn't hear was Shukaku's prayers in thanks for consuming a rare and delicious holy log. (Amen).

"You can have it!" The leading Ame-nin shouted. "We'll leave you alone! Just don't kill us!"

The spectators watched in shock as the Ame-nin were freed from the sand, with the exception of a small amount around each of their necks. The smallest one took out the heaven scroll and rolled it to the Suna team. Kankuro picked up the scroll and curiously looked at Gaara. Gaara sighed as the sand around his opponent's necks retreated back to the insomniac. "Go… unless you changed your minds about dying…" It took less than a second for the other team to disappear into the woods.

Temari looked at Gaara curiously. "Not that I'm complaining or anything… but why didn't you kill them, Gaara? You normally waste anyone that gets in your way."

Gaara closed his eyes for a moment before looking at his sister with something in his eyes that she couldn't recognize. "… Don't mistake my actions for generosity… I just happen to have developed specific… tastes recently. That is all."

Temari and Kankuro blinked several times while trying to translate what their younger brother had just said. "Well, okay then…" Kankuro grumbled. "Just as long as I don't fall into that category, you can do whatever you want …"

Gaara sighed before turning to a tree in the distance. "You three can come out now… you are Uzumaki's… friends… correct? I saw you talking to him before the Exams…"

There was a silence for several seconds before the Suna team heard someone yell "Oi, Hinata!" Moments later Hinata appeared from the bushes, quickly followed by a rather nervous Shino and a freaked out Kiba. "What the hell are you doing…!?" He hissed.

Hinata ignored her teammate and stared at Gaara for a few moments. "Yes, we are friends with Naruto-kun." She replied. "I apologize if we unnerved you. My teammate here sensed that there was a fight in this area and we were curious about our potential opponents and their abilities."

Gaara nodded slowly, getting odd look from his siblings. "Do you have your scrolls?" He asked.

Shino adjusted his glasses. "Y-Yes. We managed to procure our needed scroll several minutes ago, so we are in the same position as you are at the moment."

Temari frowned. "So then… what now?"

Gaara closed his eyes in thought before opening them and looking at Hinata. "… We both have a common goal…" He droned. "We both desire to get out of this forest as soon as possible without complications… I suggest a temporary truce." He let his words linger in the air before he continued, completely ignoring the looks his siblings were giving him. "You said you sensed us with the other team. I assume that means you are capable of finding the tower just as easily?" Kiba nodded slowly. "Then we shall follow you there." He continued. "Should we encounter any… obstacles, we shall deal with them. This way we get to the tower quickly, and you gain safe passage to the tower… is that reasonable?"

Kiba and Shino looked at each other nervously. Even though they had become more powerful through their training, they were confident that the red headed boy in front of them could absolutely waste them without a second thought. They also couldn't trust him much considering that they had just met him and the display of power. They were so caught up in their thoughts that they didn't notice Hinata walk forward with a small smile on her lips. "That is more than reasonable… Gaara-kun?"

Gaara nodded. "Yes. These are my… siblings, Temari and Kankuro…"

"Erm… hi…" Temari laughed nervously.

"I am very confused right now…" Kankuro muttered in a daze.

"Hinata… what are you doing?" Kiba hissed. "Did you see what that guy could do?! His scent reeks of blood, and his chakra doesn't smell much better!"

Hinata looked at her teammate with a tired expression. "Kiba-kun… maybe you should remember what I am capable of as well…" She let her words hang in the air for a few seconds. "…Besides, Naruto-kun told us that as long as we don't trouble him, we have nothing to worry about. I personally see this as a good opportunity to make sure we finish the test quickly without much issue. They have both their scrolls and we have both of ours. We have no reason to fight each other…"

"Unless we want to reduce the competition, of course…" Kankuro spoke out loud, getting looks from everyone around him. "What? It's true…"

"To be honest…" Shino mused while adjusting his glasses. "I am more surprised that you said it before Kiba did… although that probably means that you are only slightly smarter than our teammate…"

"Oi!" Shouted Kankuro and Kiba at once. "I'm not stupid. And don't compare me to him! Huh!? What did you say?! You wanna fight, you bastard!?"

The remaining four genin sweat dropped at the scene unraveling in front of them. "So you have one in your team, too?" Hinata sighed to Temari as she tried to drive away her headache.

Temari snorted. "Worse… I'm actually related to him."

o. o. o.

On the opposite side of the forest:

"OROCHIMARU!" Anko roared as she charged toward the fight in front of her in a blind rage.

As soon as Anko saw the three bodies in the cemetery, she knew what had happened. Without a moment's pause, she ordered the chūnin that had informed her of the bodies to get as many ANBU as they could find to the Forest of Death as soon as possible and then 'asked' Hana to get Orochimaru's scent and track him down. Needless to say, Hana knew who to fear more at the moment. From that moment on, the pair (and Hana's ninja hounds) dashed through the massive forest while tracking Orochimaru's scent. After roughly 30 minutes, they came to their destination.

Orochimaru had been fighting the army of Naruto clones for roughly 10 minutes already and he would be the first to admit that he had definitely underestimated them. With the Kyūbi's chakra flowing through them and their chakra blades, they were a formidable enough adversary, but throw in the fact that they would freaking BLOW UP whenever they knew they were about to dispel and he had an annoyance that was more irritating than his still literally inflamed throat. He had already wasted a fair amount of chakra with his two customized replacements against Sasuke, and the clones had already taken down three of his larger summons. True, their numbers were significantly less than before, probably no more than 50 clones were left, but no matter where he ran off to, they seemed to be able to find out where he was! It was becoming rather irritating.

"OROCHIMARU!" Roared a very familiar female voice, gaining the attention of everyone there, including the 50 clones. Orochimaru took this chance and quickly formed the hand signs for a wind technique that blasted wind out from his body in all directions. The resulting gale meant that only 5 clones were left as Anko made her appearance. "I'm gonna tear you to fucking pieces, you traitor!"

"Kuku(cough cough) kuku." Orochimaru chuckled. "Anko-chan… how long has it been since we last met? Are you still angry that I abandoned you?"

"Why YOU…!" Anko roared, about to attack.

"Anko!" Hana shouted, grabbing her partner's shoulder harshly. "Calm down! We can't make any mistakes when dealing with him…"

The remaining five clones landed near the two women. "That snake bastard bit Sasuke." The leading one growled. "The original is getting him and Sakura to the tower as fast as they can. We're the only ones left to hold him back… they should make it in a few more minutes, but Sasuke's in bad shape… You guys know who the hell he is?"

Anko frowned, knowing that she had to still play dumb to the fact that the blonde knew more about the situation than she did. "That's my old sensei… Orochimaru. He's an S-class missing-nin from Konoha, and he's beyond dangerous…" She smirked as she rose her two arms out in front of her and pointed them at her curious ex-sensei. "But then again… so am I. HIDDEN ART: NAPALM VIPERS!" Anko shouted as five red snakes emerged from each of her sleeves and opened their mouths at the same time, releasing a massive stream of corrosive, flammable, and very much on fire liquid right at Orochimaru. (A/N: I got this as well from another fanfic that I read a while ago… however I added a few extras to it…) At this point, Hana, her hounds, and the remaining clones took the opportunity to hide in the surrounding foliage while their enemy was still focused on Anko.

Orochimaru, while pondering why the hell he was being bombarded with all these fire techniques that he had never even heard of before that day, managed to jump out of the way of the attack just in time to see the streams of corrosive and flaming liquid melt through the branch he was on like a wind element chakra enhanced chakra blade through half melted butter (A/N: Yes, that puts the standard hot knife through butter phrase to utter shame. SHAME I SAY!). "Kukuku. That is an impressive technique Anko… mixing your elemental affinity with your snakes. Quite ingenious, really… but it's still useless against…"

"Hidden Inuzuka technique! Fūga (Wind fang)! Raiga (Thunder fang)! Honōga (Fire fang (Ed: Probably))!" Yelled out an already transformed Hana Inuzuka as she and her hounds drilled towards their opponent while channeling their respective elements. Orochimaru barely had any time to observe the new techniques as he quickly replaced himself with a mud clone. That did not give him much time, though, as the four had already caught onto his scent and were heading his way yet again. Each time they impacted a surface; it burnt to a crisp, was slashed up into hundreds of little pieces, or was blasted by the impact of lightning, depending on which attacking Inuzuka clan member it was.

"Kuku." He chuckled. "Wonderful. Simply marvelous. I had always wondered when clans would start to add elements to their personal techniques. It seemed like such a waste to simply stop with where they were and… oh?" Orochimaru paused as he looked up and for the first time since he entered the forest felt some concern for his well-being.

Right above him were two medium-large summon sized snakes, which normally wouldn't warrant any concern from the Sannin… except for the fact that these snakes were made of fire. Not on fire, but MADE of fire. Both of them were glowing amber inside and out with white hot fangs, scorching the trees that they were wrapped around. Standing between the two monstrosities was a smirking Anko. "Did I mention that Napalm Vipers is a multi-form technique?"

Orochimaru frowned. "It seems that you have been busy…"

Anko returned the glare. "Hell hath no fury like a woman's wrath, you bastard, and unfortunately for you, it seems like hell has decided to give me a hand in gutting you. Sic 'em." She commanded, and instantly the two enflamed snakes charged at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru was not stupid and knew that the technique Anko was using could easily cause him some concerning damage, and he would have dodged the attack, too… if his feet weren't ensnared by several large vines on the trunk a moment before he dodged. The man turned his attention down to see the vines disappear in a puff of smoke and reveal the five Naruto clones smirking at him with their red eyes. "You're not getting away this time…" One of them growled as the giant snakes enclosed on them with their mouths wide open.

"You little BRATS!" Orochimaru roared as he attempted to strike the clones in a frantic rage. This turned out to be a mistake, as the clones saw him move and had two explode in time before they were dispelled. The resulting explosion echoed throughout the forest and stalled Orochimaru long enough for Anko's snakes to cover the rest of the distance and collide with the tree branch he was on. Moments later the pair had wrapped their entire bodies around the entire section of the branch in a giant molten snake ball of death roughly 20 meters in diameter.

"I'd say burn in hell, but I don't think it's nearly as hot as my snakes are right now…" Growled Anko as she formed a tiger seal from her viewpoint several trees away. "… So just die instead. Hidden Art: Imploding Anaconda Bomb…"

As soon as she finished stating her attack, the snake ball that encompassed Orochimaru glowed white as the sphere shrunk in pulses. The process increased for a few more seconds before the ball shrunk to almost 1/5 of its original diameter before exploding with a massive intensity. It was clearly heard throughout the entire forest, and some surviving teams would later say that they even saw the explosion through the trees. Hana and her hounds, who knew the attack was coming, managed to get out of the blast radius and gain some cover behind a tree nearby. Anko did the same thing with the tree she was standing on.

It took several minutes for the attack's effects to settle down before Anko and Hana could step out of their cover safely. In front of them was a massive crater in the ground, easily 30 meters in radius. Several of the giant trees nearby had either been knocked down entirely, blasted apart, or at least been tilted to the side significantly, all with fires raging through their remains.

"Holy crap, Anko…" Hana gaped. "When the hell did you make THAT technique!?"

Anko breathed heavily. "Sorry. (pant). I secretly came up with that after I finished mastering Napalm Vipers about a month ago. Had to practice it in the basement training ground so no one would find me practicing it… it eats up pretty much all of my chakra though…"

"Kukuku." Chuckled a familiar and very unwelcome voice from above the two women, freezing their blood cold. "What a shame… I had hoped that you would entertain me more, Anko…" Before the two women could react, a large snake-summon slammed into Hana from below, launching her into the air and knocking her out cold. Her triplets charged after her in a frantic hurry to save their pack mate from the pursuing summon.

Anko would have followed, except at that moment the side of her neck exploded in pain. The woman instantly hunched over and grabbed at the source of the pain, knowing that it was the curse seal that he had tagged her with years ago. Grimacing to herself, she glared upward as she saw the bane of her life smirking right at her.

Despite his confident appearance, Orochimaru was exhausted. Between fighting Sasuke, taking unexpected (and surprisingly potent) fire damage, wasting an excessive amount of chakra on his _two_ personal replacement techniques in the process, then fighting off hundreds of supercharged suicide bombing shadow clones at once, and _THEN_ barely escaping that barrage of attacks from the remaining clones, Anko and Hana, the Snake Sannin was ready to call it a day… hell, he would gladly take a week off to recover from the day's activities.

Unfortunately, revealing such information to his current opponents was beyond foolish, so he continued to pretend as if he was unfazed. "You are said to be a special jōnin of this village… however, your skills say that you are clearly stronger than that. It makes you wonder… doesn't it?" He crooned on, trying to stoke Anko's fiery temper.

Anko spat out in disgust. "Why the hell are you here?! Are you going to kill Hokage-sama?!"

Orochimaru chuckled as he watched his summon 'play' with Hana's triplets as they attempted to drive it away from her. "Oh no (cough) no… not yet anyways. I don't have enough men to pull it off for now. I was really here to do some… recruiting."

Anko's eyes widened as she remembered what Naruto's clone had told her. "Sasuke Uchiha… you gave him a curse seal. You came all this way just to kill him?"

Orochimaru laughed. "… There may be a 10% chance of surviving the process… but I have a feeling that like you… he might not die…"

"You're a sick bastard…" Anko stated as she collapsed to her knees while grabbing her own cursed seal.

Orochimaru smirked. "Things will get interesting if he survives (cough). Please don't stop the exams prematurely. Three genin from my village are also participating, and I would be just _crushed_ if their chances of becoming chūnin were cut short." He stated sarcastically. ""If you try to end my enjoyment… do not hesitate to believe that Konoha will fall…"

"Like we were going to cancel it because an asshole like you showed up…" Stated a very cocky voice from above Orochimaru, surprising the pair immensely. They looked up to see Ghost laying upside down on the bottom of the branch above Orochimaru. "Although I will relay the message to the old man, just to be polite. I mean, it would be quite rude to refuse such a request, don't you think?"

Orochimaru smirked as he analyzed the newcomer. "Ghost Ōgakari. I have heard many things about you…"

Ghost chuckled. "Likewise, snake boy. Speaking of which, I have a question to ask you. Are you really a gay pedophile, or are you simply one of those kinds of people that is inexplicably turned on by the concept of power?"

Orochimaru blinked a few times. "… why (cough) would you ask such a question in this sort of situation?"

Ghost shrugged. "The thing is, I make it a personal rule not to make fun of gay people for being gay. I have a bunch of buddies who are gay, and I would be disrespecting them if I made fun of a person because of their sexual preferences. I just wanna make sure for future reference so that I know how to mock you … and to be perfectly honest, with your looks, you don't exactly pass as someone that has never had an indecent thought about children, if you catch my drift."

Orochimaru's eyebrows twitched. "I have no need for sexual preferences. I am only dedicated to my work and my goals…"

Ghost smiled. "Okay. So you are the type that is power-hungry. Thanks for heads up, you pale ass evil pedophile gay freak of cock sucking nature." (A/N: I do have friends who are gay and bisexual, and I do not condone making fun of people due to their sexual preference for any reason. I DO, however, enjoy calling people things that they are clearly not, simply because they react to it in amusing ways.)

Orochimaru would have commented on that last insult, but he was too busy mentally pushing the hidden snake he had summoned to kill the man with every fiber of his being. The snake had just lunged for the back of Ghost's neck when the man simply disappeared. "What?!" Orochimaru sneered.

"Wind style…" A voice murmured from where Anko was, drawing Orochimaru's attention downwards. "… War Scars…" Orochimaru saw Ghost standing next to Anko with his hands making the dragon hand sign. Several seconds passed in silence as Orochimaru waited to see what the technique would do.

"It seems that your technique did not work…" The Snake Sannin sneered in amusement.

Ghost simply smiled and pointed in the direction that Hana and the snake summon were. Orochimaru glanced in the direction he was pointing to, to see his summon dead, lacerated beyond known measure and covered in almost as many deep cuts as it had scales on its body. He also saw that Hana and her dogs were being carried away by several clones of Ghost at a fast pace. "What…?" He mused as he turned to see Ghost carrying Anko bridal style, who disappeared again before he could react. The presumed genius would have pondered what had just happened and what techniques Ghost could have used to do what he just did, but he was almost immediately snapped out of his thoughts by hearing a massive commotion above him.

The man looked up to see a sight that he, and likely no one else, had ever seen before, as the entire canopy of the forest above him was collapsing onto him. Giant portions of the trees separated from their original positions, and splinters flew everywhere as the groans of the giants all around him slowly grew. As the larger pieces approached his elevation and the roar of the forest's collapse grew, the genius could see that there were deep, clean gouges on the pieces of wood everywhere and at nearly impossible angles.

Exactly the same as those that were on his summon.

o. o. o.

With Team 7:

Naruto spat out blood as he rushed his team into the tower. He _had_ been practicing with the Kyūbi's chakra every once in a while, but this was the longest he had actually maintained control of it while moving his body at its fastest speed. Sasuke had somehow managed to stay awake and hold onto the blonde during the entire ordeal, and Sakura was too scared to say anything, thankfully. As soon as they had entered the main room, the boy and his clone collapsed on the ground in exhaustion, causing the clone to dispel immediately. Sasuke took the opportunity to finally pass out due to the pain he was experiencing, and Sakura was jolted out of her stupor.

"The scrolls…" Naruto gasped to Sakura as he coughed up more blood. "Open them… now…"

Sakura blinked a few times before nodding and searching Naruto's pouch for the earth and heaven scrolls he was carrying. Sakura grabbed them both and opened them in a hurry, and in turn chucked them across the room in fear when they started to smoke. Several seconds later, Kakashi appeared from the smoke with a curious expression on his face. "This can't be right… you guys passed the exam in 45 minutes?" He then dropped his façade and noted the condition of his team. "What happened?" He asked seriously.

"Some freak…" Coughed Naruto. "Bit Sasuke. Did something to him. Used clones to stall him. Anko and Hana-sensei (cough) came. Said his name was Orochimaru… I used Kyūbi's chakra to get here as fast (cough) as I could…"

Kakashi's eyes widened as he looked at Sasuke, and more importantly his neck. Moments later he had Sasuke over his right shoulder and his left arm on Sakura. "Naruto, I'll take Sasuke and Sakura to the medical bay. Rest here. Don't use the Kyūbi's chakra to heal you any more than it is right now. I'll send someone to see to you as soon as possible." He then disappeared with the two genin in a cloud of smoke, as Naruto continued to cough up blood on his hands and knees. If anyone could hear him moments later, they would have had sworn that the blonde was laughing between coughs.

o. o. o.

At the Konoha main gate several hours later:

Izumo and Kotetsu were once again relaxing at their guard post, having completed their duty of being proctors in the first part of the Chūnin Exams.

"Hey, Kotetsu…" Izumo asked. "You think those rookies have a chance of making it past the second exam? I mean, the Forest of Death is a pretty nasty place from what I've heard."

Kotetsu sighed. "Dunno. I think that Kakashi's team and Kurenai's team have a pretty decent shot of making it, but I'm having doubts about Asuma's team. They don't exactly pass as survival training experts…"

Izumo was about to respond when he developed a familiar shiver down his spine. "… Hey, you feel that?"

Kotetsu shivered. "Oh, yeah. I guess he's back…"

Izumo paused for a moment. "Wait… wasn't…" Whatever Izumo was about to say was interrupted as a human sized projectile flew past their booth at an incredible speed and crashed into the ground, creating a giant gouge in the ground at least 50 meters long.

"For the last time Crypt, you are NOT allowed to perform the happy fluffy pants and flamingo dance at our clan's inauguration party!" Roared a deep and gruff voice from a fair distance away outside the wall.

"I give that a 7.8." Commented a female voice. "You had the distance, but there was no skid mark and barely any blood trail to really give it that painful appearance. Here, let me show you how it's done…" Izumo and Kotetsu looked at each other nervously.

Crack-crack, BOOM! Another human sized projectile flew past the pair, this time crackling with electricity and making a trail over 70 meters long. "She should know better than to try that with me…" Mused a familiar monotone voice.

The elder voice chuckled. "Impressive. 8.7. The residual electricity was a nice touch."

"Thanks. I try to make my work look impressive from time to time…" Replied Scabbard.

Izumo and Kotetsu looked at the bodies that created the trenches in the ground. In the first was a man that was lying face down in the dirt, so his face was hidden, but his arms were clearly restrained by his trench coat, which had a red flame pattern on the bottom edges, and his ratty black hair was shoulder length. The other body was of that of a young woman whose appearance was entirely obscured due to being completely charred, sparking, and smoking from the electrical attack she had just received. She was also wearing a trench coat, but her sleeves were longer than her arms, somewhat like a priestess. Despite her current condition, it was apparent that she was fair of skin and hair, similar to nobility.

Both bodies were twitching frequently.

"Long time no see, you two…" Mused Scabbard as he approached the unnerved guards. The pair turned to the speaker to see the familiar short man standing next to a giant of an old man. Hunched over and still well over 2 meters tall, the old man leaned on a large wooden staff that had leaves growing out of it, and he had an enormous sword hanging off of his back. His hair, both normal and facial, were grizzly and grey with flecks of black, and both descended to at least mid-chest. His clothes were similar to those of his traveling companions, yet his trench coat seemed to be designed more as a priest's robe than a coat, and had a stone blue flame on the bottom of it that matched the color of his eyes. Despite his intimidating appearance, he carried a soothing aura around him, similar to being around a caring grandfather, and had a gentle smile to match. The pair of men were snapped out of their awe when Scabbard spoke again. "Can you please inform the Hokage that the rest of the Ōgakari clan has arrived?

o. o. o.

A/N:

Insert maniacal laughter here.

Okay. Had finals this week. Am back home. And had steak twice this week. I can proudly say that this is a good week.

Keep on reviewing people! We are this close to hitting 400! (You can't see it, but my fingers are _pretty_ close together. Take my word for it.) And if we've already passed that mark, review anyway! Woo!

I had a lot of ideas for the Orochimaru fight. One that was in my head for a while was right before he gave Naruto the 5 Element Seal like last time, Naruto uses his fox talons to slice off parts of Orochimaru's tongue, then cross slash him to open his stomach and the scroll he swallowed falls out… but it was too hard to make that fit into the story, so I unfortunately had to drop it.

I, for one, am disappointed that no one (or at least the guys that I read) had thought up of the fire application of modifying tools to my extent yet. I mean, it was pretty much right there, and it makes SO much sense to make fire act like a poison, but no one had ever considered it, or thought of making Sasuke apply fire chakra to his sword before lightning. It kind of depresses me when that kind of potential is ignored like that.

Chojidude: I'm thinking of making a group here: The book of Log. For all log worshipping authors. Tell me what you think so we can exploit this idea to the fullest soon.

Anyways. Review. Draw. Worship the Log. And have an excellent Christmas vacation, folks.


	30. Talk later, still laughing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

>Chapter 30: Talk later, still laughing.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

In the Hokage's tower:

Hiruzen Sarutobi had been through a lot in his shinobi career. He had lived through _three wars_ (it would have been four, but he technically DIED in the invasion, so that didn't count), fought countless enemies, had stared down the nine tailed fox in all of its wrath, and dealt with a Kage's load of paperwork without shadow clones for near 40 years, but he'd never been as nervous as he was right now…

"The floor says that coconut flavored paperclips hold the secret to eternal hair… but it fails to understand the implications of the diamond colored rhubarb spaghetti sauce…" Crypt Ōgakari lectured as he rolled on the ground before Shadow kicked him into the wall. He showed no signs of being affected by the impact, and began rolling up the vertical surface.

"You have to excuse Crypt and Shadow…" Scabbard sighed. "They're idiots… and as you can see, I am using that term extremely lightly."

Sarutobi sighed as he watched Waltz Ōgakari snore away with a large snot bubble coming out of his nose. "I'll take your word for it…" The Hokage grumbled. "But please don't be insulted if I am not as… surprised as you would have hoped…"

Shadow chuckled. "Give us time, raisin. You won't be disappointed."

"I hope not…" Grumbled the old man. "… I have a hard enough time keeping my heart rate down being the leader of a village of bloody ninja as it is."

"Point taken." Stated Scabbard. "I take it that the exams have started? I have seen several foreign shinobi here, yet only a few that would qualify to be genin…"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes. Actually, the second exam just started several hours ago…"

Scabbard frowned as the other three members of his family lent an ear to the conversation. "And?"

Sarutobi darkened. "So far, things have deviated little from the original course, with a few expected exceptions. Sasuke got his cursed seal, but thanks to an earlier encounter with another team and Naruto's occasional training with the Kyūbi, he managed to get his team to the tower 20 minutes after the encounter ended, shattering the current record for the course."

"There, Kakashi came out of the scrolls as planned and hurried Sasuke and Sakura to the medical bay, where they have not separated yet. Naruto-kun, on the other hand, was suffering from a minor feedback due to his body still not being adapted to using that amount of the Kyūbi's chakra for so long. He is also in the medical bay, and should be fully recovered by tomorrow morning."

Scabbard frowned. "There's more. What about Anko?" Shadow, Crypt (who then fell flat on the floor) and Waltz raised an eyebrow at the comment. They were not aware of Anko's and Hana's relationship with their relative at the moment.

Sarutobi nodded. "Anko proceeded into the forest like last time after the same genin's bodies were found in the graveyard. However, she was accompanied with Hana Inuzuka so that she could track Orochimaru easier." He let his words sink in as Scabbard processed the information.

"When they finally found him, he was finishing off the clones that Naruto had created to stall Orochimaru. From then on, the group attempted to kill my ex-student, and from what I have heard they put up an impressive fight. However, they were soon up against the wall. Ghost then appeared and managed to escape with Anko, Hana and her triplets, as well as completely decimating a large portion of the forest as a distraction. The group are right now resting in the tower and recovering."

Shadow smirked. "Heheh. Sounds like Ghost felt like showing off. What kind of technique did he use?"

Scabbard looked at his sister. "Ghost re-created War Scars as a jutsu. He probably used it to drop the forest above him as an escape tactic…"

Waltz whistled. "War Scars? That's one of his favorite air based techniques… and for good reason, too. That technique can strike anywhere the air touches instantly without exception…"

Crypt cackled darkly, gaining everyone's attention. "… he's probably gonna teach blondie the technique. Right, Scab?"

Scabbard looked at Crypt and ignored Sarutobi shifting nervously in his seat. "… Correct, brother. In fact, Naruto has already has come quite far in his Seventh Sense training…"

Shadow frowned. "Now that's interesting… Ghost never taught anyone that before… he must really like the brat. Not only that, but he has to have some crazy potential to even be able to come close to pulling it off…"

"There's something you aren't telling us…" Scabbard commented as he stared at the Hokage inquisitively. "What happened since I left? I have not been able to update my spy system recently, so I am not up to date on recent rumors… however, something appears to have happened. Your body posture and facial expressions, while well hidden, still betray you…"

The Hokage gulped, as he had hoped Scabbard would not inquire about such information. "… I was hoping to talk about this after the preliminaries…" He started off before he explained the situation that occurred in Wave Country, and the rumors of Naruto in Iwa. As he continued on, he noticed that the expressions on all the clan members grew more and more difficult to read, including Crypt's. "… And that sums up our current situation in Iwa." He concluded.

Silence echoed throughout the room as the four immortals pondered the situation. Unsurprisingly, it was broken by Crypt laughing. However, it was not like his normal giggle fits. It started off slow and sparse before it grew into the hysterical and insane maniacal laughter that a person would expect from a homicidal psychopath as he arced his back so much that his head nearly reached the back of his knees. "Interesting!" The man claimed in a deep and joyous voice. "This can go in so many directions! Will there be war?! Will there be death?! So much tension! I can already hear the blood pounding from so many hearts! This will be so much FUN!" The dark man cackled to himself, scaring Sarutobi to no end.

"Well said, Crypt…" Smirked Shadow, unnerving the Hokage even more as her emerald green eyes changed into ice blue slits. "The wheels have already begun to spin ever so slowly. Regardless of what happens, the oncoming dance will be one to remember…"

"There are so many factors in this situation that it is difficult to predict the outcome." Scabbard stated before a spark entered his eyes. "This is quite an interesting turn of events. It must be observed very carefully…"

"There is little you can do at the moment… but do not be discouraged." Stated Waltz, who unlike the others did not seem to revel in the current situation. "Though their reactions to this information are rather disturbing, I assure you that Konoha has the support of the… what was our clan's name again, Scab?"

Scabbard broke out of his war scenario plotting to look at Waltz. "The Ōgakari, the Great Scale clan."

Shadow snorted. "The Great Scale clan? You are such a kiss ass, Scab. Honestly, why do you suck up to Zuzushi so… oh boy…" Shadow blanched as she just realized something.

"Something wr… hold on." Scabbard stated before he turned around and zapped a still manically laughing Crypt with a large bolt of lightning to make him shut up. "Something wrong?"

Shadow laughed nervously and scratched the back of her head. "Heheheh, um… Zuzushi woke up while I wasn't paying attention, it seems…"

Waltz face palmed while Scabbard groaned and Sarutobi blinked in confusion. "Um… who's Zuzushi?"

Scabbard sighed. "She's the dragon demon goddess…"

"Thing." Crypt added in while smoking on the floor.

"… Thing…" Scabbard added regretfully, "That's sealed in Shadow…"

"Thing?" Sarutobi asked in a confused manner.

"She's part dragon, part god, part demon, and no one knows what the fuck her last grandparent was." Shadow sighed. "So we just call that last fourth of her a 'Thing'. She doesn't really care about it much. Actually, she kinda thinks it's pretty damn funny that we call it that."

"Erm… Right." The Hokage said in a very confused manner. "So… why is it a bad thing that she woke up without you knowing?"

Scabbard sighed. "The thing is, unlike the Kyūbi, Zuzushi can exit Shadow's body whenever she wishes as long as the situation isn't really dire. Normally, this doesn't warrant much concern, considering the size she is when she goes out on her little adventures, except she has a… small quirk…"

Sarutobi shifted in his seat as he started to sweat. "How small is this… quirk?"

Scabbard looked to the side nervously. "Well…"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sarutobi nervously looked at the sweat dropping family as he unsealed the room. "Y-Yes?" He asked in a reluctant manner.

"Hokage-sama!" One of the village's many ANBU yelled as he barged in through the door. "It's urgent! We have reason to believe that there may be an attack on the village via a strange new genjutsu! We have multiple reports of people, both civilian and shinobi, claiming that something was crawling rampantly on their heads despite never being able to catch or see what it was!"

"And so it begins, yet again…" Shadow claimed in a dark tone with her hands interlaced in front of her face in a pondering position. Crypt broke out into a new wave of hysterical (non-homicidal) laughter, Waltz face palmed, and Scabbard sighed.

Sarutobi groaned. Why did he have the feeling that even with shadow clones, his paperwork would soon overwhelm him again soon?

o. o. o.

In the Forest of Death, just outside the tower:

"I still can't believe you made me do that!" Ino glared at Shikamaru. "I feel so VIOLATED…"

Shikamaru looked at his disturbed teammate. "Ino… you were the one DOING the violating. Besides, thanks to you, we got our last scroll without using any of our equipment or getting any injuries…"

Ino ignored her partner as she hugged herself and replayed the memories of several hours earlier. "Violated…" She whispered.

Chōji sighed. "At least we're at the tower. I'm pretty sure we don't have to scavenge for food in this monster of a forest once we get inside. It would kinda be pointless if they didn't have any in there…" He looked at Ino for a moment and sighed again. "Plus, Sasuke might already be in there…" His reasoning speech was interrupted by a cloud of smoke as Ino dashed towards the entrance of the tower, her previous trauma long since disappeared.

"Sasuke-KUUUUN! Don't worry, gorgeous! Mommy's here!" The two scared partners heard echo from the room as they hesitantly walked in afterwards.

"… Why do you like a troublesome woman like that again?" Shikamaru asked his friend curiously.

Chōji gulped. "In my defense Shika, I think she only became distinctively crazy AFTER she started to train under Anko-sensei…"

Shikamaru didn't respond to that statement, acknowledging his best friend's statement to be true as they caught up to their crazed partner in a large empty room with a poem written on the wall in front of them. (A/N: Not going to bother with what it says. Too long and boring.)

"Hey Shikamaru! Figure out this damn poem already so we can see Sasuke-kun!" Ino ordered loudly.

After reading it once and grumbling at the same time, Shikamaru sighed, took the heaven and earth scrolls out of his pouch, and opened them up in each hand. As soon as he noticed them smoking, he tossed them on the floor in front of the team. Ino and Chōji got into position in case they needed to fight, but it wasn't needed, as Asuma appeared from the smoke in a relaxed demeanor similar to Shikamaru's.

"Hey." Asuma chuckled as he greeted his team. "36 hours, huh? Not bad considering Shikamaru's on your team. Still, it would have been nice if you weren't the last of our four groups to make it to the tower…"

"What?!" Ino shouted disbelievingly. "We're LAST?!"

"I'm not surprised." Shikamaru sighed. "We're the only group that doesn't have some sort of wide ranged sensor on their team. Technically, Ino COULD learn to be a sensor type due to her family techniques and type, but she's been too busy with her training with Anko-sensei to train on it for now…"

Ino pouted. "You make it sound like it's all my fault…"

Shikamaru shrugged. "I'm not accusing anyone. It's too troublesome to do that. All I'm doing is stating facts and noting who on our team is the best possible solution for the current problem…"

Chōji blinked. "Wait. So everyone's here already? Did any other team beat us as well?"

Asuma nodded. "Yeah. Actually, only Gai's team and you guys didn't completely shatter the old 4 hour record, and they got here pretty damn fast with a time of around 7 hours…" Chōji gulped in nervousness. "Kakashi's team got here faster than I could have even believed possible for a genin team. They got here in 55 minutes." Team 10 paled dramatically at the news, but for different reasons. "Then Kurenai's team got here, surprisingly enough with that Sand team that all of you have been worried about, around half an hour later, give or take." Asuma chuckled. "But still, you guys got here pretty quickly all the same. I'm proud of you guys. Did you have much trouble getting your other scroll?" As soon as the question came out, Chōji stepped away from Ino, who was huddling in a fetal position and occasionally giving Shikamaru murderous looks. "Erm…"

"Shikamaru made Ino use her Shintenshin (Mind Body Switch) technique on one of the exploding squirrels in the forest…" Chōji whispered to his sensei, who paled dramatically. "She then jumped to one of the members of the team from Suna that we had found and started to scratch at him when he wasn't paying attention. Then when he finally grabbed her, she switched back. The original squirrel was so confused that it blew up in their faces and knocked them out… though the original guy lost one of his arms. We healed them up as much as we were willing to and took their scroll…"

"Then why is Ino freaking out like that?" Asuma asked, nervous about hearing the answer to the question.

Chōji sweat a bit more. "Well… the squirrel she possessed was a boy, and just before she switched out, the genin that caught her was about to cut off…"

"OKAY!" Asuma yelled out, getting everyone's attention and clearly understanding what had happened. "You guys did a great job! I WOULD explain this passage to you guys, but I think I'm gonna take Ino to the psychology ward now, just to be safe…" He walked up to Ino and put his hand on her. "What you just experienced was one of the greatest things all men fear… I can't imagine what it must be like for a girl to experience it… you two just explore the tower. I'll find you guys later, and yes, Chōji, there is a food court here."

"Sweet!" The rather chunky boy claimed.

Shikamaru agreement as Asuma and Ino disappeared in a cloud of smoke. He turned to Chōji. "Now that they're gone, why don't we get something to eat? We didn't have anything earlier other than traveling ration bars… and those don't really count as food."

"More like dirt." Chōji chuckled. "Let's go. Besides, we might come across the guys there."

o. o. o.

In the Forest of Death:

The Sound genin team was currently bowing in front of a very tired and very injured Orochimaru. They knew better than to speak out of turn at the moment, lest they become bloody fertilizer for the wooden monstrosities of the forest. For the moment, they were content with observing the ground and praying not to die.

Orochimaru, on the other hand, was _pissed_.

Not that so many people had gotten in his way and that he didn't kill any of them, but that they had actually hurt him THIS much! Sure, he underestimated Sasuke and Anko… but seriously, he was a freaking Sannin! He was a kage-level ninja, with all that that entailed, and for him to be brought down to this condition by two genin, a chūnin, a special jōnin, and a mercenary was simply laughable! He would NOT make the same mistake again.

And that mercenary… there was something off about him, and not simply because he'd literally dropped the rough equivalent of half a village in lumber on the Sannin's head before he knew it. No, what was odd was that that man was not afraid of him… no, more than that… that man acted like Orochimaru was _weaker_ than he was.

This would not do…

"You three…" He started after getting his breathing under control. "There is no point in searching for the Uchiha in the forest… they are more than likely inside the tower already."

Dosu's eyes widened as he and his teammates bowed even more to the ground. "Our apologies, Orochimaru-sama! We were incompetent and did not find him in time to complete our mission! Please…!"

"Enough." The Sannin ordered. "Do not apologize. There were factors that you were not aware of which led to this situation. I do not blame my shinobi for that which they are not in control of…" ' _I still punish them, though.'_

"I have a new mission for you three…" He claimed as he tossed the heaven scroll he had received earlier from the chūnin proctors while he was disguised to the trio (Team 7 already had their scrolls, and Orochimaru did not have the time or opportunity to burn either scroll they had). "… I want you to fight and get as much information about Sasuke-kun and his blonde teammate… Naruto-kun, as you can. If possible, try to find out what you can about that teacher of his as well, the Ōgakari. He is not a normal shinobi…"

The three bowed, silently thankful that they were still alive and unmaimed. "Yes, Orochimaru-sama…" They replied at once. There was a pause as Dosu placed the scroll in his pouch.

"You seem anxious, Dosu…" Orochimaru commented. "Does the idea of fighting Uzumaki seem appealing?"

Dosu frowned. "It is more a matter of pride, Orochimaru-sama. He embarrassed me greatly right before the first exam." (AN: And everyone else there, too, but that remained mostly unknown) He cocked his head to the side, giving him a more intimidating look. "I simply want to return the favor…"

Orochimaru chuckled in an amused manner. "… don't get carried away, Dosu. The boy managed to take out several of my summons and my two… teammates, without much issue. It would be ill advised to underestimate him."

Kin blinked. "Woah. Dosu, are you sure you wanna still go after him? If he took out two special jōnin and several advanced summons… not to mention he already knows how you fight already…"

"Shut up, Kin." Dosu snapped. "Orochimaru-sama's companions were trained in spying and espionage, not combat. We are more than enough to take them out, even without a surprise attack. Besides, are you trying to go against his orders?"

"Yeah, Kin." Zaku chuckled. "Don't tell me you're getting scared."

"As if." The girl snorted. "I was simply thinking about the stats of our mission. Fighting a guy that knows and can counter all your moves very easily is not exactly something I would look forward to."

Orochimaru chuckled. "Be that as it may, you have your orders. Now, go…" He didn't have to look twice to know that his pawns had already left his presence as he turned around and rested against a tree to further recover from his wounds.

Under normal circumstances, avoiding massive tree parts from crushing his body falling at normal speed would have posed little to no issue for Orochimaru due to his very flexible form. However, because he was in such an exhausted and injured state at the time, he managed to obtain some significant damage from the attack. After barely managing to avoid any significant damage and discovering he was completely alone, the Snake Sannin had hidden himself deeper in the forest in order to avoid the ANBU that were sure to be sweeping the forest by now. While he was still far from healed, even with his White Snake factor healing him at an increased pace, he was more than confident that his stealth abilities would prevent the pathetic ANBU from finding him, even if they were tracking and sensory types.

As he closed his eyes to gain some extra rest, Orochimaru's mind subtly went back to when he'd climbed out of the chaos that the forest had become. Exhausted and alone in a pile of debris, the man looked around him to see the forest completely decimated. Scratches and splinters were everywhere in a random pattern, with the bottom half of the trees still standing, de-leafed, in the wreckage caused by their half torn off branches. They would grow back in time, but the damage was truly extensive, and the image before him left a lasting impression on the genius… one that he had experienced before, during his time fighting alongside Jiraiya and Tsunade…

War Scars… a fitting name for such a horrifying technique.

o. o. o.

In the tower:

Naruto woke up feeling like crap. Normally, this did not impair the boy much considering the extensive 'training' Ghost had put him through and his rough childhood, but the lingering extra demonic chakra from the Kyūbi in his system made his body feel a bit off.

" **Welcome back, kit…"** echoed a deep voice from Naruto's mind.

"Kyūbi?" Naruto whispered to himself as he picked his body up and looked around him. It took a few seconds for the boy to realize that he was in a medical bay. Great. Hospitals again. "Why can you talk to me? Did something happen to the seal?"

" **I wish, brat."** Kyūbi snorted. **"You just have some extra pockets of my chakra going through your system. Understandable, since you normally don't tap into my reserves that much for that long during training. It's given us a sort of direct mental link right now, so your old man can't talk to you as well. It'll go away in a few hours. Oh, and you don't have to talk out loud for me to hear you. Just think it… if you can, that is, given your IQ…"**

 _'I'll remember that little comment for later.'_ Naruto mused angrily as he stretched and got out of the bed. Thankfully, he was still in his clothes from the exam, and his equipment was sitting on a desk across the room from him. ' _More importantly, how long have I been out?'_

Kyūbi sighed. **"From what I can tell in here, about a day and a half, so since you started pretty late on the first day, it should be around mid-morning on the third day."**

Naruto nodded to himself as he got his equipment and put his bracers on, wincing as his stiff muscles groaned in protest. ' _Just to be safe, are you sure that nothing… happened to my body due to me overusing your chakra too much?'_

" **From what I can tell, the worst that's happened is that your organs and muscles have taken some damage from being overexposed, but they also seem to be slightly more resistant to it than before as well. You probably lost about 3-6 months off your total lifespan from that last stunt, but if you somehow manage to keep me in your body for your entire life, you will still live much longer than the average human…"**

Naruto paused at the door. ' _Wait, how long are we talking here? We have both seen Ero-nii, and know the results of what too long of a life can do to a person. He's strong and everything, but I do NOT want to be flinging exploding cow models at my great-great-great-great-grandchildren.'_

Kyūbi chuckled. **"Maybe now, you don't… anyways, from what I can tell, if you don't overdo using my chakra, you will live to be roughly 150 to 200 years old, give or take. You will, of course, age accordingly as well."** Naruto paled at the thought of growing not only that old, but trying to have a family in that condition as well. **"Stop that pathetic kind of thinking, brat! You know as well as I do that the Ōgakari bastard will probably do something to help with that problem. He seems like the type of person that would know how to extend a normal human's life by roughly 100 years."**

 _'Yeah, you're right. Thanks, fox.'_ Naruto mentally sighed as he opened the door. ' _I gotta find Sasuke and Sakura and see how they're doing. Last time I saw them, Kakashi-sensei had shunshined them to the medical bay, so they should be somewhere close by now.'_

From his position, Naruto spread his Seventh Sense throughout the building. It was a bit hard at the moment due to his slightly irregular chakra pools, but he eventually got control of his powers again. He found that he was on the 6th or 7th floor of the building, and that there were several other people in here as well… including Ero-nii, judging from the fact that the air here was possessing his chakra as well. Resting against the wall near his door, Naruto made the dragon hand sign to extend the clarity and reach of his sense. For some reason, he was recently finding it easier to tell who people were in his sensing area not by their shape or hair, but by their chakra. Ghost had explained to him that it was because different chakras react to each other differently, much like how a person can tell what a material is by touching it, or who they are talking to by listening to their voice.

Going by what he felt, he knew that teams 8, Gai, 10, and Gaara's team had already made it to the tower and were spread out all over the building. In what seemed like a small waiting room, he sensed the jōnin-sensei of the teams that had passed, waiting and conversing with each other casually, although he did feel some tension from Gaara's sensei. What was his name again? Baka? Baku? Meh, he'll remember it later.

Including them, he also felt Anko, Hana, and Ghost in a large medical bay room a floor above him, with Hana and Anko in beds and Ghost resting in a chair between them and the triplets on Hana's bed. He was about to turn his attention away from the room when Ghost waved his hand to apparently no one and pointed in a seemingly random direction. Naruto, knowing better than to just assume that he was doing something random again, followed the direction of where Ghost was pointing to and found what he was looking for. Down the hall from where he was and down two floors were Sasuke, apparently sleeping in bed, with Sakura resting her head on his chest. In front of the door were two ANBU, more than likely set to protect Sasuke in case someone tried to get to the last Uchiha. Nodding in confirmation and getting a thumbs up in response, Naruto made his way to his teammate's room to check up on them while smirking to himself. He doubted even the Hyūga could communicate like that without getting caught.

After a few minutes of navigating the large building, seeing as the last time he was here, he was rushed straight to the fighting arena, Naruto finally got to Sasuke's and Sakura's room. "Hey, I'm here to see Sasuke and Sakura." Naruto said tiredly to the guards. "I'm their third teammate."

The ANBU seemingly stared at him through their masks for a few seconds before the one on the right nodded slowly. "You have permission from Kakashi to enter the room…" He said, but continued just as Naruto was about to touch the door. "…After you tell us whether or not you got clearance from a doctor to leave your room." Naruto paled dramatically as he stopped in his tracks.

"Oh, you two have got to be kidding me…" Naruto grumbled as Kyūbi laughed loudly inside his head.

"I'll take that as a no." Commented the ANBU on the right as the one on the left disappeared in a shunshin, confusing Naruto.

"What's that all about?" Naruto asked curiously.

The ANBU chuckled. "Kakashi predicted this would happen, and he also knew that you wouldn't take a 'You can't see your teammates until you get cleared from a doctor' excuse when you showed up here very well. So, he did the next best thing. You can see your team, but afterwards, the doctor that will be here shortly will make sure that you're in decent condition. There's less blood and shouting this way."

Naruto glared at the ANBU with childish rage in his eyes. "I still hate doctors, you know…"

The ANBU shrugged. "I said less blood and shouting. I never said it wasn't going to happen. I've chased you around the village enough times to know that much."

"Glad to know that you understand me." Naruto sighed sarcastically as he opened the door. "Hey, Sakura. Did he wake up at all since I passed out?"

Sakura, who was at the moment in that mystical realm where a person was neither asleep nor awake, returned slowly to the realm of the semi-to-fully coherent. "Hm? Wha? Naruto?" Sakura yawned as she rubbed her eyes.

"It seems like the run in with that snake bastard wiped you out, too." Naruto commented with a small chuckle.

Sakura gave Naruto a stern gaze. "Not as much as trying to hold onto you right afterwards. I thought my arms and head were going to fall off a few times from the whiplash."

Naruto shrugged and chuckled. "Better than staying in the forest, though." He paused. "How is he?"

Sakura sighed. "He hasn't woken up since you managed to get us here. Sensei took us to the main infirmary and the doctors and I managed to bring his body under control." She paused. "The doctors didn't want me around for the procedure, but Sensei stood up for me and told them that I had trained enough under Hana-sensei to at least be an assistant in the procedures and moral support for Sasuke-kun. He was breathing erratically and had an irregular heartbeat for several hours before they stabilized, even with the doctor's help. His fever is still there, but it's much more manageable than before as well. I don't even want to think of what would have happened if we stayed in that forest…"

Naruto blinked and patted his pink haired teammate on the head in reassurance. "From what I can guess, he probably would have recovered by now. I wasn't exactly gentle getting you guys to the tower after all." He smirked. "He's a stubborn bastard. He wouldn't let some stupid bite or poison take him out so easily. Besides, he has you there to help him get better. Believe it or not… you are beating Ino in that little race of yours… if only a little for now. I can tell."

Sakura blinked a few times as she stared at Naruto incredulously. "You can tell that Sasuke likes me when you can't even tell that…? Never mind." She cut herself off and turned away from Naruto, which was good since he was failing at holding in his smirk, knowing that Sakura was talking about Hinata. There was a few minutes of silence as they watched Sasuke sleep before Sakura spoke up again. "Naruto… your eyes, when you escaped with me and Sasuke-kun…" She asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Naruto sighed. "I was tapping into the Kyūbi's chakra. It was the only way I thought we could get away from the guy… although I haven't been training with it as much as I should be… and it kinda left me coughing up blood and exhausted, as you saw…"

Sakura stared at Naruto for several moments. "I'm sorry…" She mumbled.

"Huh?" Naruto intelligently replied.

"I said I'm sorry." Sakura answered more strongly. "I'm sorry for treating you like crap during the academy. I'm sorry I used to hit you so often. I'm sorry that the Kyūbi's sealed in you. I'm sorry…" WHAM! Sakura's speech was interrupted by Naruto pounding her on top of her head. "Ow! What was that for?!" She yelled out angrily.

"If I wanted you to apologize for all that crap, I would have either milked it for all it was worth as soon as I told you about it after the Wave mission or acted like ducky here before we started to make him human again." Naruto sighed as he rubbed his hand. "I know it's a shock for you to be reminded that I have fuzzbutt in me ( **OI!** ) and see some of his powers in action, but I personally would prefer if you acted like he doesn't exist ( **sniff. I don't exist?** ) for both our sakes. It makes things easier for everyone that way." He paused for a moment as he flexed his fingers. "Although you can apologize for having such a freaking hard head. Seriously, I nearly busted my hand on that thick skull of yours."

Sakura stared at Naruto incredulously for a few seconds before smirking momentarily and then frowning. "Did you just say something about my head, Naruto?" She asked dangerously as she walked up to him and cracked her knuckles.

Naruto paused as he remembered the taboo about saying anything regarding Sakura's head or forehead. "Erm… yes? But it was by accident! I swear!" He started to sweat profusely as he saw his death approach him in the guise of a girl with pink hair and demonically glowing green eyes.

o. o. o.

Inside Sasuke's mind:

Sasuke came to in an empty world, standing and looking at a small child in front of him. "What the… who are you?" He asked more to himself than the child.

"Mom and Dad didn't have to die…" The kid growled as he stared at Sasuke, surprising the original greatly.

"The old me…?" Sasuke mused as he observed the kid glared daggers at him.

"In the end, if you don't have strength, you can't do anything… because I didn't have strength… the clan was wiped out… everyone was killed… no… you… you let them die…" The kid smiled sickeningly as he started to peel the skin off of his face.

Sasuke was silent up until this point before he finally lost his temper. "Shut up, you stupid brat." He growled, surprising the boy.

"Yeah, I used to think like that for a while, that I could have done something about Itachi killing everyone in my family if I was stronger or if I was actually there." He smirked. "But I know better now. I was only 7 then. Actually thinking that I could beat or hurt Itachi of all people then? When he took out everyone else in the family with almost no effort? That's simply stupid. Even Kiba wouldn't think along those lines. Even if I was strong enough to kill Itachi back then, he was way more experienced than I was and would have killed me anyways. Honestly, a 7 year old killing an ANBU captain? Even a super genius would find that impossible."

The boy snarled at Sasuke. "Then you will just stay weak? You will simply leave Itachi be?!"

Sasuke laughed. "I'm much stronger than I once was, brat, but I'm not an idiot. Itachi has gotten stronger just as I have. He will fall in time at my hand, but I refuse to let this take control of my life. I will find out who that third man is and find out what really happened that night." He activated his Sharingan. "I will unveil the illusions that have been placed over these eyes and choose my own path in life." The boy in front of Sasuke put on a shocked expression as his body started to waver. "I think I'll start with you. I never was good with brats, anyway. Their constant whining was something that I could never really handle … Thank god the dobe and Sakura were there to take care of those babysitting missions."

"You'll never be able to get enough power to kill Itachi thinking like that…" Hissed the boy in a very familiar way as he faded more from Sasuke's view.

Sasuke looked at the boy skeptically. "First of all, I'm aiming to be strong, not powerful. Second, I actually DO have other goals in life that I want to accomplish... and it would be easier if I didn't have to deal with all those damn fangirls all the time." He smirked as the boy disappeared. "Third, I aim to BEAT Itachi. Killing him can come after I figure out what the hell happened that night…"

Sasuke felt an odd transition in his body and in his surroundings, and soon enough he was lying on a bed and listening to sounds that he could only equate to Sakura maiming Naruto for doing or saying something stupid again. Opening his eyes and slowly propping his body up, Sasuke blinked as he saw Sakura choking Naruto with surgical tubing on the ground with fire in her eyes.

"What do you think about my head now, you brat?!" Sakura growled evilly.

"It is one of the most beautiful and mysterious things in the universe, mistress!" Naruto choked out. "Men from all the Elemental Nations come to bask in its wondrous glory!" His bloodshot eyes turned to see Sasuke looking back at him, the question 'What the Fuck?' clearly written in the Uchiha's eyes… and black markings covering half of his face. "Sakura! He's up!"

Sakura's head whipped around so quickly that everyone heard a definite snap in the process. Almost as fast as she turned her head, Sakura's personality changed from bloodthirsty female to shocked and relieved little girl. "Sasuke…kun?" Sakura whispered as she let go of the tubing that was strangling her almost dead teammate. "You're… awake?"

"Yeah…" Grunted the Uchiha as he rolled his shoulders and his head in a testing manner, not noticing the strange chakra he was giving off or the markings on his body. "Actually, I feel pretty damn good…"

"Teme!" Naruto shouted seriously and gaining everyone's attention. "Control your chakra! The bastard put a seal on you and it's messing with your head! NOW!"

Sasuke blinked as he noticed the charge he was getting to his chakra system and the markings on his body. He knew that the dobe was right, but honestly it felt amazing. "Dobe… are you sure about that? I feel pretty damn good right now… hell, I could probably take you on right now and…"

Naruto frown turned into a scowl. "Damn it, Teme! Why the hell do you think I don't use the Kyūbi's chakra if I know it gives me the same kind of boost?!" Sasuke shut up then and there. Naruto never talked about using the Kyūbi's power unless he was serious. "It kills you from the inside out and makes you do things that you would NEVER do! Get a hold of yourself!"

Sasuke breathed for a few seconds before he focused on calming himself down. Moments later, the marks started to recede into the original seal. As soon as he had calmed down however, Sasuke felt the backlash of the seal's presence and nearly passed out again due to the pain. "Arg! What the hell!?"

"What's going on?!" The ANBU that was guarding the door shouted as he barged in. "I heard yelling and felt an odd chakra…"

Naruto sighed. "It's fine… for now. Get Sensei here as fast as you can. He'll know what to do. You don't have to worry about someone guarding the door, the other ANBU is almost here with the doctor anyway…"

The ANBU paused and apparently blinked a few times. "How…?"

Naruto shrugged. "Ero-nii's taught me a few tricks."

Sakura nodded slowly, still in a temporary shock from what she had just seen. "I-It's true. Naruto can sense people close by…"

The ANBU stalled for a few seconds before nodding slowly and disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Naruto turned to Sakura. "Sakura, help him out. Don't do anything to the seal, just try to relieve some of the strain his body's going through."

Sakura faltered for a moment before nodding and running up to the hunched over Sasuke and proceeded to use the Mystic Palm technique. Moments later, Sasuke's breathing calmed down. "Th-thanks…" He gasped before he turned his attention to Naruto. "…Both of you. You were right, dobe… sorry."

Naruto smirked before his face fell and he dashed to a nearby window. "I would stay to gloat about you actually apologizing to me for one, but I have a doctor and ANBU to avoid like the plague. I'll see you guys in a bit." And with that he opened the window and jumped out of the building without a second thought, just before the door opened to let in said ANBU and doctor.

The pair looked at the contents of the room for several seconds before the doctor looked at Sasuke and Sakura with a tired expression. "He jumped out the window, didn't he?"

"Yes." The two remaining Team 7 members replied at once.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Shouted a familiar voice from outside, gaining a concerned look from Sasuke and Sakura.

"What?" Asked the ANBU. "Did you honestly think that we didn't have ANBU guarding your window too?"

o. o. o.

In the skies above Konoha:

Zuzushi sighed in contentment as she stretched her wings under the sun and gazed at the human settlement below her. She was very satisfied over the past few days after she had woken up due to Shadow's little temper tantrum in the previous world. She would have said something to her container, but her servants had been busy getting prepared to travel to this new world and she was curious as to what would happen. They were quite anxious about it too.

Exiting Shadow's body was little effort at all, as she simply flew out the moment Scabbard blasted her container in front of those large human gates. Zuzushi enjoyed spending time with her servants, but she did need some time to herself every once in a while.

The Dragoness looked down on the village in curiosity and observed the humans at work. She had seen many varieties of the evolved monkeys over her existence and was never bored with the creativity of the creatures, despite their simplistic behavior and irrational ideas. She saw villagers going about their daily business, but she found the warrior humans soon afterwards, jumping from building to building with swiftness and stealth. She cocked a scaled eyebrow at this. The humans here seemed to be focused on stealth, judging from their movements… something her servants tend to not focus on that often other than Ghost.

As she warmed herself and glided aimlessly, the deity could only ponder what her favorite servant was up to. Ghost always held a special place in her heart, for various reasons. He was the only person, elder god, demon, mortal or other in existence that could consistently defeat her in an all-out fight. He also was the only one that would speak to her as an equal… well, as much as he treats everyone else, anyways. Even Shadow occasionally bowed down before her wrath, when her ire was at its greatest.

She had gone to sleep over 6 months beforehand, and was just as curious about Ghost's whereabouts as the rest of her servants.

The air was thick with his energy, as it normally was in areas that he resided in, however there was a second energy lingering in the air as well. It was not as potent as Ghost's, however there was more in quantity, which was intriguing.

Following her senses, Zuzushi glided lazily to where the concentration of airborne energy was greatest, surprisingly enough, for both energies. She noted that the forest she flew over was immense and held many fairly dangerous creatures… she would have to investigate this area later. Her curiosity spiked when she did see a portion of the forest completely decimated however. It only took a glance for her to tell that she was looking at the remains of Ghost's War Scars technique…

She smirked to herself as she approached the tower in the middle of the large forest. This world would be very interesting indeed…

…And then she saw a sight that made her drool in glee and squee in excitement, making her completely forget about her servants and anything else. In less than a moment, she had adjusted her course slightly and dove straight towards her target.

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

Waltz was enjoying himself as he rested on a bench in a park that was rumored to be where many clans took their children. After his meeting with Sarutobi, the family had agreed to lay low until the preliminaries were over and went straight to their clan compound. Since then, Crypt had been under lockdown in one of the rooms made by Scabbard for that particular purpose. The rest of the family had either decided to remain inside the home for the entirety of the wait, or explore the village. They, of course, had to dress a bit differently due to the villagers recognizing the family's trademark flaming trench coat, but that was of little issue as they had been in this sort of situation before.

Waltz smiled as he watched several children play amongst themselves. He had always had a soft spot for children, be it his own or ones that came across his path. There was something relaxing about watching small children go about their merrymaking. They were simple to understand, and made you realize how clean and open they were with each other compared to the world of adults and magic and fighting and ninjas and politics and medicine and etc., etc. It was simple things like who had a crush on who, and whose turn was it on the swing, and what was going to be for lunch…

His old eyes caught something on the edge of the playground, away from the clusters of other children. Turning his head, he saw a little girl with pale eyes and long black hair, looking nervously at the playground in front of her, as if it was full of dangerous animals. It took him a moment to recognize the girl as Hanabi Hyūga. "What is she…?" The old man mused to himself as he saw the girl walk up to the nearest group of children and try to talk to them. He couldn't hear all the words being exchanged, but in very little time Hanabi had stomped away from the group of children, who were now giving her awkward and mean looks. The pattern repeated several times with similar results.

"She's trying to make friends…" The old man commented in a curious manner. "… but why does she act like she is trying to prove something…?" He said as the girl walked away from another cluster of youngsters. He could see that the constant failure was starting to get to her, as her posture and breathing faltered for a bit.

Waltz had heard about the 'unbreakable Hyūga personality' in town, and guessed that the next attempt would not end well as Hanabi walked towards a rather rough looking group of children playing on the jungle gym. From the looks of them, Waltz assumed that several of them were members of the Inuzuka clan from the red triangles on their cheeks. Almost exactly as he predicted, the two sides started to yell at each other almost immediately, with the large group slowly surrounding Hanabi. Looking around to see that none of the adults around were paying attention to the situation, Waltz sighed and got up, knowing he would have to stop the current situation before it escalated out of control.

"Who the hell are you calling a loud-mouthed grunt, you white eyed freak?!" Yelled the leading boy, who appeared to be an Inuzuka.

"You! And it's true too! All I asked was if I could play with you guys and you start insulting my eyes!" Hanabi retorted angrily.

"Asked?! You practically ordered us around like we were beneath you! Why would we play with you if you treat us like that, whitey?!"

Hanabi blinked back her tears as she got into her family's basic taijutsu stance. "Don't make fun of my eyes, mutt…" She growled with all the rage a 7 year old could muster.

The boy laughed as he put up his arms and made some fists. "Or else what, blinkin?"

"Is there a problem here?" Growled a deep and old voice from several yards away, scaring the children temporarily as they all turned to see a MASSIVE old man walking to them while hunched over a large wooden walking stick.

"Yeah!" The young Inuzuka yelled defiantly. "This weird girl started bugging us and won't leave us alone!"

Hanabi frowned. "Those smelly idiots made fun of my eyes when I did nothing to deserve it!"

"Why you!" The Inuzuka boy roared as he charged Hanabi, fully intending to beat her up (not like he could, but he didn't know that).

Waltz sighed as he rushed in a few steps and held his staff in between the two children, stopping both of them in their tracks. "You are an Inuzuka, correct?" He asked the angry boy curiously.

"Yeah? What of it? Move your stick out of the way so I can get her for what she said about me!" The boy said angrily as he attempted to move the stick between him and his goal. What he didn't notice, but Hanabi did, was that the stick did not move, at ALL. Normally, there would be some leeway when pushing against a stick that someone was holding, but there was not a single waver in the piece of wood's location.

Waltz smirked. "Well, to be honest, she is speaking a bit of the truth. Your clan is rather well known for having, erm… a unique odor due to their relationships with their hounds…" Hanabi smirked for a few moments as the boy's face dropped in surprise before Waltz continued. "… yes, it is almost as well known as the Hyūga's rather stiff and unappealing personality." Hanabi's face mimicked her antagonist's as Waltz chuckled and lowered his stick.

"Wait…" The Inuzuka said slowly and nervously. "You're a Hyūga?"

"Yes, can't you tell by her white eyes?" Waltz said conversationally, causing the children listening (other than Hanabi) to step away from her nervously. "In fact, she's the second daughter of the Hyūga clan head…" He mused as if daydreaming without a care in the world.

"Crap!" The leading boy yelled. He had heard about the Hyūga and their weird eyes, but he had never seen one before, and here he was just about to attack the clan head's daughter! "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't tell on me! My parents would kill me and I might get banned from the clan or not get a partner hound or…"

Waltz sighed as he placed a wrinkled and worn hand on Hanabi's shoulder, shocking the girl temporarily. "Let's just pretend that this never happened." Waltz sighed. "I doubt either one of your families would be pleased to hear either one of you acting like you did today. Just remember what happened and make sure that neither of you act like that again. You wouldn't want to insult the wrong person in front of their face, now would you?"

"N-No, sir." The children mumbled at once as Waltz smiled gently.

"Good. Then you all get back to playing. You, however, young lady…" He said to a somewhat scared Hanabi, "… are going to have a nice talk with this old man over on that bench over there."

Hanabi marched to the bench as if she were going to be punished. The old man carried an air around him that seemed to match even the Hyūga elders, but his behavior was so confusing that she couldn't make anything out! Before she knew it, she was already at the bench overlooking the playground with the old man sitting next to her.

"I was watching you…" The man sighed, snapping Hanabi out of her daze. "I couldn't hear what you were saying, but it was more than obvious you were trying to make friends…"

That last comment broke Hanabi. Within moments the girl was crying her eyes out and burying her face in her hands. Why? Why was it so hard for her, a main house Hyūga, to do something as simple as make a few friends? She must have looked so pathetic out there, for everyone to see! And now she was crying her eyes out in front of this complete stranger! She was an embarrassment to the entire clan. The girl was so distraught that she didn't notice Waltz patting her lightly on her back with one of his massive hands.

"Shhhh." Waltz soothed the poor girl. He knew that she had been raised with a strict upbringing. Any child born in a 'Noble' clan was, and it rarely did them much good in terms of mental development. "Let it all out. Don't hold anything back… you're too young to act as you do…" After about ten minutes of crying, Hanabi finally calmed down. "Are you ready to tell me why you were so… eager to try to make friends with those children?"

Hanabi looked down and slowly nodded. She didn't know why, but this old man seemed trustworthy… and wouldn't judge her because of her decisions. Maybe he could tell her what she was doing wrong. Keeping her eyes on the ground, the girl explained her relationship with her family, how her sister suddenly became much stronger, how the elders became stricter over time, how she wanted to be stronger as well, and how the strange man with sunglasses said that she had to make friends in order for her to do so. Waltz mentally sighed to himself as the girl seemed to open herself to someone else for what seemed to be the first time in years. This was why he never liked dealing with nobles. They push their young ones far too hard to become younger versions of themselves, never giving them the time needed to grow up and develop naturally.

"… So, the only reason why you want friends is so you can become stronger?" Waltz asked curiously. "That's pretty petty and childish if you ask me…" He mused, getting a hurt look from the girl.

"What's wrong with wanting to get stronger?!" The girl almost yelled frustratingly at the man who didn't react at all to her question.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Waltz sighed as he looked over the playground. "They all seem so happy, even though they aren't nobility. They aren't strong, they aren't skilled, and no doubt almost all of them lack some sort of special bloodline limit, and will never be considered prodigies." Hanabi froze as the words sunk in. "… but they are still happier than you, simply by being with people they call friends. People that back them up not by obligation or because of a seal, but because they want to. People that make happy moments in life even more enjoyable without ordering anyone around, or commands or anything of the like. Just by simply being there, life becomes more bearable… and you are just realizing that it's something that you've wanted for a long time… right?"

Hanabi stared at the old man in shock. "H-How…?"

Waltz smiled gently as he looked at the girl. "You don't live to my age without picking up a few things, child." ' _Although few people actually do live to be over 2500 years old.'_ "This old man has seen things that even your clan's eyes have never witnessed before…" Hanabi's tense demeanor relaxed a small amount. "And right now I can see that Ghost was right in giving you your first task…"

Hanabi's eyes widened. "Wait… I never told you his name…"

Waltz chuckled. "You are very perceptive for one your age… despite your lack of social skills." He sighed as he leaned towards the little girl. "But to answer your curiosity… I know little Ghost because he is my grandson…"

Hanabi stumbled back a few steps. "Y-You mean you're…"

Waltz sighed as he leaned back in his seat. "Waltz Ōgakari… sole elder of the Ōgakari clan, medical practitioner, part time botanist, peace keeper of the Ōgakari clan… and in my spare time, a sleepy old man that enjoys watching time roll by. Please… just call me old man. I've never liked to bother with formalities… they're more trouble then they're worth, and my family gives me enough bloody wrinkles already." He grunted out irritably.

Hanabi didn't know when, but she noticed that she was starting to smile a bit during Waltz's small rant. "… You are different from the Hyūga clan elders…" she commented out loud.

"I hope so…" Waltz sighed. "My back is killing me enough as it is, I don't need a pole up my butt in addition to that as well… not after that last time…"

Hanabi blinked. "… I have heard people say that before. What does it mean?"

Waltz froze in his spot and mentally swore to himself for using such terms in front of a 7 year old. "Erm… it is a very… blunt… way of saying that a person has a very stiff… and inflexible personality. One that people rarely take kindly to or enjoy being around. I am assuming it's one of the reasons why the words Hyūga and Fun are rarely used in the same sentence. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't repeat that term for a few more years… for both our sakes."

Hanabi frowned. "Why would people say things like that though? We are one of the strongest noble clans in the village. Why would they disrespect us like that?"

Waltz sighed. "Hanabi… how would you feel if Hinata started to gloat about how weak you were compared to her every time you were even near her?"

Hanabi looked at Waltz curiously. "Sister wouldn't do that. She's too nice to do so…"

"Just humor me." The old man instructed gently. "You come across her in the hall way and she starts telling you that you are weak and pathetic, that you will never be able to catch up to her, and that you will always be just another Hyūga in your father's eyes…" He paused as he read Hanabi's expression and body posture. "… it makes you feel pretty bad doesn't it? The fact that you're nobility doesn't really matter at that point, does it?"

Hanabi rubbed her eyes to prevent the tears from showing again. "If… if that's true, then why do we still do it? Why are we taught that it's the way we should act towards those beneath our level?"

Waltz smiled as he saw the girl's desire to change and grow. "I believe that the answer is actually quite simple…" He lectured, knowing he had the girl's full attention. "The social world is actually made of several worlds, if that makes any sense, and your family has unfortunately fallen into a habit that eventually befalls all families and clans that reside in nobility for too long. When a person or a group of people stay only in one social group - or do not frequent other social groups for a certain amount of time -, they tend to forget how to deal with other people from different positions on the social ladder, who often have a rather different viewpoint."

Hanabi blinked in confusion. "… Can you say that again, please?"

Waltz sighed. "To be short about it, you have been looking down on a majority of people for so long that you do not know how to deal with those same people as equals. People do not like to be treated as if they are dirt, no matter how much they may appear to be so."

"… Well, there are a few exceptions, but we won't talk about THOSE people until you are well over twice your age." Hanabi sweat dropped as Waltz laughed nervously. "I believe that you have a good example of what I'm talking about in your own clan… regarding the Branch house and Main house?"

Hanabi frowned at Waltz example. "I am well aware that the Branch house members do not like the Main house members due to our use of the Caged Bird Seal and the current system, but that is because…"

"Stop." Waltz interrupted the girl. "That's part of the reason why relations between the two houses are so poor at the moment."

"What?" Hanabi asked curiously.

"You act as if the reason why you have your system is enough to justify your actions and treatment of the Branch house. Even if the reasons why you have the system are true, because you don't even give them a shred of sympathy or treat them as if they are even remotely close to your level, the situation has developed into what it is today. If Hinata started to berate you for being weaker than her, she would be speaking the truth, but you would still feel resentment for her, regardless of your positions in your clan, because she treated you as such. This is exactly the same thing." Waltz lectured, mentally thanking his luck that the girl could understand what he was saying. Nobles were hard-asses, but at least he didn't need to dumb things down too much for _most_ of their children due to the education they tend receive early on.

"As for why your family maintains that behavior, it can be because they have spent much of their lives living and dealing with Nobility, rarely relying on those 'beneath' them or spending much time with them to refine their social skills. The way your clan acts is necessary at times when dealing with nobility, but is quite frowned down upon when dealing with the general populace. As a result, your clan has trouble expressing themselves to even their own family members or making friends outside of the clan on their own. In a way, they are slowly isolating themselves from the people that they are trying to protect. Do you understand?"

Hanabi slowly nodded. She had pondered many of these things before, but her lessons from the elders had driven these thoughts out at one point or another. Waltz sighed as he closed his eyes. "Remember this, Hanabi. If given the choice, would you rather be at the top of the world and miserable, or in some nameless forest with your friends and having the time of your life?"

o. o. o.

In the tower:

Anko woke up with a massive headache. That alone told her that whatever came next would piss her off to no end.

"Hey, the sleeping princess is awake! Thank god, for a second I thought I would have to give her the kiss of life." Sniggered a very familiar voice.

Yep… piss her off to no end. Anko sighed as she opened her eyes and turned her head to see Ghost sitting next to her and a still unconscious Hana. The triplets were sleeping on top of Hana's bed and Ghost was petting one in the process, which was odd since normally the hounds would maul the man as soon as he got close to them. "Good, 'cause you make a shitty prince charming." She rasped out before propping her body up. "Shiiit, my head hurts. How long was I out?"

Ghost shrugged. "A little over a day, although it was mainly due to the fact that I knocked you out on the way here and your body had to get used to its new changes. Personally, I'm surprised that you recovered so quickly."

Anko blinked a couple of times as she registered what Ghost had said. "Wait… where are we? And what new changes are you talking about? I feel the same as normal… actually I feel better than ever…"

Ghost sighed as he relaxed in his chair. "We're in the tower in the Forest of Death. Sasuke survived the cursed seal marking and Kakashi's sealing it as we speak. As for new changes… well, isn't there a missing throbbing sensation at the moment?" Ghost grinned mischievously as Anko's face slowly turned from confusion to shock. Even HE almost didn't catch her when she bolted from her bed to the nearest mirror in the bathroom and looked at her left shoulder. There was nothing there but pale smooth skin.

"It's… gone." She said to herself more than anyone else. "It's GONE!"

"You're welcome!" Ghost called out from the other room. That time Ghost didn't catch Anko as she rushed back into the room and passionately kissed him.

"Thankyou thankyou thankyou thankyou!" Anko cried as she held onto the man for dear life.

"Anko! Air!" Ghost gasped out. Anko had managed to do something that gods, demons, and mortals alike had been trying to do for thousands of years… catch Ghost off guard. The poor man was suffocating under Anko's constant assault of kisses and ramming his face unintentionally into her breasts.

Anko blinked a few times as she noticed Ghost's flailing arms slowing down rapidly and his face pressed hard in her chest. Several seconds later she registered what Ghost was saying… and in that time his arm movement had decreased so much that only minor twitches remained in his motor function's available action range. "Oh…" She stated nervously as she removed Ghost's head from her cleavage, allowing the man to take in a breath of fresh air.

"WHEEEEEZZZZZZ! Holy shit, Anko! I swore I saw a light at the end of the tunnel for a moment there… and I'm fucking blind!" Ghost coughed out to his side, given that Anko was still on top of him while they were sitting on the chair.

Anko waited a few minutes for Ghost to start breathing normally again before softly embracing him and resting her head on his shoulder, tears coming out of her eyes. "Thank you…" She whispered softly as she just hugged him.

Ghost sighed and returned the hug, slowly rocking the woman for all it was worth at the moment. "Hey… I promised you I would get rid of the thing, didn't I? The snake bastard thinks you still have the seal now, you're free from the seal, and it looks like your chakra pools are cleaner now. Judging by your current levels and what I can sense from you, your reserves and control are at least double what they were before…mnph." He was silenced by a swift kiss from Anko, who backed up and smiled.

"Just stop talking for now," she sighed as she got up and nodded her head to the bed. Ghost raised an eyebrow and looked at Hana's bed, then back at Anko questioningly. Anko shook her head. "Nah, we can fuck each other's brains out later. I just want to rest for now…"

Ghost shrugged as he got into the bed with Anko after taking off his boots, his belt and his coat. Anko immediately cuddled on top of the immortal and clung onto him tightly. Ghost in turn cradled her head with his arms and kissed her head. Within moments Anko had gone back to sleep due to the shock her body had gone through. Ghost was close to sleeping as well. It had been a while since he had ever felt this peace-

"OH GOD THERE'S SOMETHING ON MY HEAD SOMEONE GET IT OFF HELLLP!" Shouted a frantic blonde as he ran through the hallway past the room Ghost was in.

"… Fuck." Ghost swore bluntly, as he was now completely awake and desperately trying to get to his trench coat on the nearby chair, which contained the only salvation against his sister's wrath, without waking Anko up…

o. o. o.

Back in the Park:

Hanabi giggled as she listened to Waltz tell her a story about his previous adventures. Some of them seemed rather unbelievable, but they were amusing none the less.

"I'm serious." Waltz pouted. "She honestly set me on fire 37 separate times that day! And 6 of those times I was underwater!" Hanabi giggled even more.

"Hanabi-sama!" Called out a voice from the playground, distracting the pair from their conversation. The two looked to see a Hyūga Branch member walking towards them. "It is time for us to return to the clan compound." The branch member looked at Waltz. "You are…?"

"Oh! He's…" Hanabi started.

"Just an old man enjoying the company of this beautiful little girl here." Waltz sighed, getting a raised eyebrow from the Branch member and a blush from Hanabi. "Please don't mind me."

The Branch house member looked at Waltz for a moment skeptically. "That is some sword on your back…"

Waltz chuckled. "That? It's simply a token from the adventures of my youth. I rarely find reason to use it these days, but I can't seem to separate it from myself regardless."

The Branch member did not relent. "Why were you talking to Hanabi-sama in the first place?"

"That was my fault…" Hanabi answered, getting a curious look from both the men. "I was… irritating some of the other children and things got out of control. If W… old man didn't step in when he did, I would have brought shame to the Hyūga name…" Hanabi looked down, showing a bit of shame as she explained what happened.

Waltz decided to continue with the story. "She seemed like she needed someone to be with her at the time, and since I did not see any of her friends, or you, nearby, I decided to play the role of the kind old man to help her out. It's really one of the few things someone my age can do these days anyway." Waltz chuckled lightly.

The Branch member stared at Waltz for a few moments before nodding. "Then you have the Hyūga clan's thanks, good sir. Come, Hanabi-sama. We cannot have Hiashi-sama wait for our presence for too long…"

Hanabi looked at her temporary guardian before looking at Waltz again. "Don't worry." Waltz sighed. "It's not like I'm going anywhere for a while. The view up here is quite something… I may have to come here again sometime…"

Hanabi nodded, understanding what Waltz was telling her, as she walked away with the branch member. "Hanabi-sama." The Branch member whispered. "I do not trust that man… he is hiding something…"

"He has already told me who he is." Hanabi replied sternly. "And I would appreciate it if you did not speak ill of him. He is far more noble and trustworthy than you assume."

The Branch member blinked a few times before looking at his charge. "With all due respect Hanabi-sama, he could be simply trying to…"

"Don't make me say it again." Hanabi replied with all the authority her 7 year old frame could muster, causing her charge to flinch and frown for a moment.

"Of course… Hanabi-sama." The man said coldly, which caught Hanabi's attention. Hanabi looked at the man and could tell he was not in the best of moods thanks to her commands, and she realized that what Waltz had lectured her was being played out right in front of her, and it made her feel as bad as she did when she realized that no one in the playground wanted to play with her.

"… Sorry…" Hanabi mumbled, catching her guard unawares.

"… Come again, Hanabi-sama?" The man asked in a surprised tone.

"I said I'm sorry." She repeated. "I should not have spoken to you like that. It was… not proper for me to do so, but you should not have said those things about the old man. He… helped me, and I simply won't allow someone to insult him simply because he looks funny."

The Branch house member blinked a few times. "Um… thank you… Hanabi-sama. I apologize for my rude behavior. I was simply voicing my concerns. There are still many out there who are after our bloodline, and you would be a prime target due to your age and your position in the Main house. I am responsible if something were to happen to you…"

Hanabi sighed. "It is all right. I do not blame you for acting as you did, but I would appreciate it if you did not speak ill of that old man. Come, we must go home to father. We will not speak of what happened today and pretend that it never happened… although I do wish to go to the park again tomorrow."

"… Will you come with me?"

The Branch member raised an eyebrow before slowly cracking a small smile. "Of course, Hanabi-sama…"

o. o. o.

In a nearby candy store:

The owners of one of Konoha's most well-known candy shops were in shock. The day had started normally enough. A few customers here, a large order there, it all seemed normal until a young woman walked through the door with stars in her eyes. She had long black fair hair and pale-ish skin, indicating that she had some noble blood in her, but her manner of attire was something expected from the shinobi of the village. She wore a customized black trench coat that was opened in the front, knee length cargo shorts, a pink spaghetti strap shirt with no bra to hide her mildly developed chest, and no shoes, only customized socks that revealed her feet and looped between her big toe and the others while revealing her toes and her heel. Her sleeves were longer than her arms and widened a bit at the end. The owner at the register blinked a few times before asking her if she needed help with anything.

And that began their long… LONG day.

The girl had first started off by ordering 10 of EVERYTHING (that included ice cream cones… and tubs of ice cream) they could make, much to the confusion and bewilderment of the owners, who thought she was kidding until she took out a huge wad of ryō and a sealing scroll from her pockets.

While the people in the storage and in the kitchen started to move around frantically, the woman then asked for all the jawbreakers, small, medium, large, and the extremely large ones that only an Akimichi could finish, and powdered sugar in the store in addition to her order, as well several kilos of pure fudge and cake frosting.

The woman then started to rub her hands together and laugh maniacally while the workers at the store wondered if they should refuse to serve this clearly mad woman… but a second wad of ryō from her pockets assuaged their concerns yet again.

It took several hours to prepare the woman's ridiculous order, and in the meantime, they had (stupidly) given her a tour of their private kitchens. She was not in the area for three seconds before she started to spout out random new candy ideas, many of which seemed incredibly odd (Pretzel flavored ice cream? Taffy filled with almonds and soldier pill extract?), but others seemed rather interesting and potentially tasty.

Then she saw the giant vat of chocolate cake frosting hooked up to one of the machines.

Without a moment's hesitation, the insane girl jumped in the vat head first with a squeal of glee, to the shock and fear of the owners, just as the machine mixing the frosting turned on. No normal human could ever survive the blades going through the mix like that!

Frantically shutting off the machine and hoping the girl was still alive the workers rushed to the edge of the container… only to see the girl already climbing out with a silly grin on her face. "Now THAT was fun… oh… too much… spinning… gonna hurl."

The rest of the day was just about as eventful as that. After FINALLY finishing the girl's order, they asked her to never come to their shop again and locked the doors behind their back, in the very futile hope that she would listen to their request.

Aren't people just so gosh darn silly?

o. o. o.

OMAKE: WHY SCABBARD IS NEVER ALLOWED INTO TOY STORES

It was Christmas Eve, and the family was doing some last minute Christmas shopping. Scabbard had a friend who owned a chain of successful toy stores and the family had always made sure to do a bit of charity shopping for the unfortunate.

To make the boring part short, they walked into one of the stores and it was low on employees, and so needed some help. The family agreed and there were some minor… incidents, but nothing big happened. The store closed for the night, and Scabbard was left in charge of taking inventory while everyone else went home.

"Barbies, check, videogames, check, dolls, check, toy cars… check, nerf guns… the design is decent but the colors and the mechanism is… anyways, check … Legos…" Scabbard looked up to see an entire aisle dedicated to the multi pieced masterpieces. His hands started to twitch.

The next day:

Ghost turned on the TV to see if anything made it past the giant army of horrendous Christmas specials that normally plague the tubes that day.

"The president has declared a state of emergency as the situation continues to escalate." A reporter nervously claimed, getting Ghost's attention. "We don't know what the details are as of yet, but what we do know is that sometime last night, several giant… things appeared out of nowhere and started to create mass havoc for no known reason. I have heard from multiple eyewitnesses that the constructs appear to be… made of several children's toys, modified to be capable of mass destruction. We can only guess right now who or what is responsible for this Christmas trag… wait, what was that?" The woman reporter (whose breasts were far too fake in Ghost's opinion) looked up, followed by the camera to show a giant, multicolored spider like machine, made of Legos, sparking with electricity, and firing explosives and flammables from what looked like nerf guns at some nearby tanks and helicopters. Ghost blinked a few times as he caught Scabbard's frame standing on top of the machine with his arms crossed and looking into the distance with a small grin on his face.

"… I was wondering when he was gonna finally snap… but damn… you definitely get points for originality Scab." He mused before he changed the channel. "Hm… March of the Wooden Soldiers… haven't seen that in a while…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Merry Christmas you guys! Sorry for the not as funny chapter, but I needed to remind some people that there was actually some plot in the story.

Wow! So many chapters today and so many reviews this last week. You guys rock!

So, just to clear things up, since people don't seem to understand how the chain links work. The user gets a link per every time the ORIGINAL body died in the period of time that has been changed. So if Naruto nearly died any time before the end of his second genin exam, it would not get him another chain link. Also, I want to point out that the person only gets a chain link if they are pretty much at the point of no return, or have actually died in said time period. Almost dying is too vague to be used in this story, so Hinata, Neji, and Chōji are ineligible to get a chain link despite their less than healthy conditions at various parts of the story.

SO: I made a small 'Book of Log' bit in my profile, but I need some excerpts to make it seem more worthwhile (like Book of Log, section of the spruce: section 3 paragraph 4: Insert awesome ninja log pun here). If you think up of a few, send them my way and I'll see if they are decent enough to stick in. I don't have high standards with this, but I gotta make sure that it has some quality to it, so don't be disappointed if I reject some suggestions.

Anyways, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, have a kick ass Kwanza, and to the thirty people out there who celebrate something else, have a great freaking time. See you guys next year.


	31. : … still laughing, but with extra evil.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 31: … still laughing, but with extra evil.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

Quick side note: I went to my grandma's place for Christmas dinner, and the dessert she'd made was a cake that looked exactly like a log… yeah… I am seriously not making this shit up here.

Oh, and it was Logtastic too.

o. o. o.

Inside the tower:

Hana Inuzuka woke up with a massive headache, which was understandable considering that the last thing she remembered was being bitch-slapped by a snake half the size of her clan's entire compound.

Groaning and holding her head, Hana rose in her bed to see where she was. It took her less than a few milliseconds to see that she was in an infirmary, and her nose told her that she was still near the Forest of Death, so she guessed that she was inside the tower at the moment. Turning her head, she saw an interesting sight. On the bed next to her, she saw Anko asleep and cuddling Ghost very tightly, which under other circumstances would warrant the Inuzuka to be a bit jealous and concerned if she didn't see Ghost's current expression.

The man was seriously freaking out. Every free part of his body was twitching at irregular intervals as the currently pale and sweating blind man desperately reached for his coat on a nearby chair as if it was his final lifeline, while at the same time trying to not wake the surprisingly peaceful looking Anko in the process.

"Ghost…?" Hana groaned as she rubbed her eyes, waking up her triplets who were sleeping near her. "What are you doing here…?"

"Shhhh…" Ghost hissed as he nodded his head to Anko, who stirred in her sleep and rubbed her head into his chest. He then pointed to his coat repeatedly.

Hana blinked groggily before sighing, getting up and tossing Ghost his coat. In turn, Ghost let out a breath of relief and wrapped himself… and Anko's head in the clothing like a protective blanket. Hana sighed. "Can you please explain to me why you're here and why you're acting more crazy than normal?"

Ghost in turn whipped his head around as if he saw something that was about to kill him before turning slowly back to Hana. "She's here." He whispered in a horrified voice.

Hana cocked her head to one side in a confused manner. "Huh?"

"My sister…" Ghost whispered frantically. "She's nearby. Naruto was frantically screaming about something molesting his head an hour ago in the tower. That's a SIGN!"

Hana deadpanned. "A small blonde boy screaming past the doorway that something invisible is raping his head is a sign that your sister is nearby?"

"YES!" Ghost shook his head rapidly, causing Hana to face fault. "But… she doesn't seem to be in the forest at the moment… or any of my other family members… but I can't take any chances. Hana, this is what I want you to do…" Ghost explained quietly what he wanted Hana to do.

Hana looked at Ghost in a confused way. "Are you serious?"

Ghost nodded. "Yeah, but you have to be vague when talking about her. We don't want to give away the fact my family is somewhere nearby. It would only cause the midget to maim me even more than she originally would if we took away her element of surprise."

Hana sighed. "Are you sure everything is all right though? There isn't going to be any problems while I'm away?"

Ghost sighed. "As long as the midget doesn't come in here, I should be all RIGHT!" He squeaked as a shuffling was seen underneath his coat and the blankets.

"Mmmmm. You taste sooo gooood Ghost-kuuunnnn…" Anko purred from under the covers.

Hana sighed as a familiar scent hit her nose. "You forgot to check if Anko had any kunai on her before she fell asleep again, didn't you?"

"…perhaps." Ghost squeaked as his face grew even more pale.

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in the tower:

"Hey Shika… how do you think they got all these provisions here?" Chōji mumbled between bites as he enjoyed his large meal in the dining area of the tower. "I mean, Anko-sensei said herself that the tower is in the middle of this massive training area, and from what I can tell, it's pretty dangerous being here no matter what rank you are…"

Shikamaru shrugged as he slowly chewed on his sandwich. "It's probably the river, Chōji. It goes straight through the training grounds and we can see it clearly from the tower. They probably just send the supplies and anyone important downstream and avoid most of the troublesome obstacles in the forest. It also serves for a decent and efficient way to evacuate patients and other personnel as well."

"Well, well, well." Temari chuckled as she walked up to the pair with her brothers' right behind her. "It seems there's more to you than meets the eye, you lazy bum… although I assumed you would have gotten here a bit faster…"

"OH GOD WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME GET THIS THING OFF MY HEAD IT'S GOING FOR MY BRAIN WHYYYYYY!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs as he ran past the cafeteria for the third time within the past hour, only to be met with silence as everyone else in the room ignored him.

"Hey… shouldn't we…?" Kankuro asked slowly.

"Don't, unless you want to be caught up with whatever the hell he's gotten himself into this time." Shikamaru sighed, getting sweatdrops from everyone else in the room.

"That's pretty cold." Temari commented in a disappointed tone.

"Not after you spend a few weeks hanging around with him." Chōji shrugged. "After a while, things like that are pretty normal."

"… I'll take your word for it." Gaara droned as he sat down with his meal and ate quietly, getting a small smirk from Shikamaru.

"I heard that you guys came in with Team 8." Shikamaru commented before he started eating again.

Temari sighed. "Yeah, I didn't expect that to happen either, but surprisingly, Gaara here struck up a good deal for the both of us. They point us in the right direction, and we pave the way. The exam was almost enjoyable…"

"Kiba?" Shikamaru commented with a raised eyebrow, getting a confused look from Chōji.

"Please don't say his name." Temari groaned. "That fur smelling mutt was hitting on me almost as much as makeup boy here was hitting on that nice girl Hinata. Honestly, if that girl voiced her opinion more, our teams would almost be exactly alike!" She threw her hands up in the air, ignoring the irritated look that Kankuro was giving her as he ate his meal. "We have a loud mouthed idiot whose ego is visible, an unreadable mystery member who speaks less on average than a mime, no offence Gaara, and a girl who barely manages to keep the team from killing each other!"

"Ouch." Chōji mused.

Shikamaru shrugged. "At least you can say that you're prepared to raise a dysfunctional family if you chose to have one when you get older."

Temari blinked. "Are… are you hitting on me?"

Shikamaru yawned. "Nah. Too troublesome. I'm just simply stating facts. From the way you're describing things, you could pretty much handle any kind of problem child there is in a few years… I feel sorry for those kids."

Chōji sighed as Temari cracked her knuckles menacingly and Kankuro edged away from her slowly. "You know Shikamaru, this is why Ino and I think you'll end up whipped like your dad when you get married…"

Shikamaru swallowed his last bit of food before looking at Temari and Chōji respectively with a glazed look in his eyes. "… It's a family curse, I'm afraid. Wait, you and Ino talk about me being whipped when I get married? I didn't know that you spent that much time with her outside of team meetings…"

"Don't change the subject you lazy brat!" Temari shouted as she tackled the unfortunate Nara and beat the living shit out of him. "How DARE you say that my future children will be unfortunate to have me for a mother! What's wrong with my personality!?"

"To prevent you from killing me, I will refrain from answering that question." Shikamaru choked out as Temari slowly crushed his windpipe.

"Do you think we should step in?" Kankuro whispered to Chōji. "I mean we'll both get disqualified if she actually kills him…"

"Don't worry." Chōji whispered back. "I saw the exact same thing once when I was at his house. His dad came back drunk and he said some weird stuff. This is exactly like what happened then… sort of… hopefully not…"

Kankuro blinked. "Why would this be a bad thing?"

Chōji paused. "… Shika's parents kicked us out of the house that night after his mom stopped killing his dad and they started to make out…"

No sooner had those words left Chōji's lips then a giant cloud of sand enveloped the two fighting teens (Okay, really it was Shikamaru getting his ass kicked, but we all know that by now) and separated them into two giant balls of sand. "I believe that's enough." Droned Gaara, who had managed to control the rampant twitching in his eyes before anyone had noticed him again. "It would be… problematic for both our teams if we continued this behavior…" He retracted his sand into his gourd again, causing everyone there (except Shikamaru) to let out the hesitant breaths that they were holding.

Chōji ran up to Shikamaru, a bit shaken by what Gaara had just done. "… Shikamaru… are you all right? That's some weird power he has…"

Shikamaru flinched as he tested a bruise that Temari gave him. "Troublesome…" He sighed. "Yeah, I'm all right. Luckily, he made sure that none of that sand got into anywhere uncomfortable…"

Gaara frowned. "I have to re-use this sand… placing it in those areas would only make carrying it even more… unpleasant… than it already is." He ignored the awkward looks that his siblings were giving him.

Shikamaru waved his hand lazily. "Thanks for that disturbing piece of information." He sighed and looked at Chōji. "I'm still beat from the exam… you wanna go to the roof?"

Chōji sighed. "Sure, Shika. You go on ahead, I'll finish my meal… and try and convince… her, sorry I don't remember your name, not to kill you." Chōji bowed to Temari in an apologetic manner before he finished his meal.

Shikamaru shrugged in a careless manner. "Sure. Just hurry up Chōji. Naruto's still running rampant throughout the tower and I don't want you to get caught up in whatever he's gotten himself into this time…"

"Hold on! You guys saw Naruto?" Asked Hana as she and her hounds walked in through another door to the cafeteria. "You guys know where he went?"

"Only if you tell me if you're single…" Kankuro lamely replied before Temari bashed him on the head with her closed fan.

"How many times do we have to tell you to stop hitting on every girl that catches your eye, makeup boy?!" Temari growled.

"…You do know that's Kiba's sister, right?" Chōji grumbled to the sand team who momentarily froze in place before turning to Hana. "What are you doing here anyways, Hana-sensei? I didn't know that you were helping out with the exams."

Hana chuckled as she scratched the back of her head. "Erm. Anko needed some help with something in the Exams and asked me. Ghost was out doing something at the time, so I was next in line…"

"Speaking of help, could you perhaps help me not get EATEN!?" Kankuro shouted from the ceiling as he attempted to escape the wrath of Hana's triplets.

"Just to let you know, they do that to anyone that tries to hit on me." Hana called out as she whistled to her companions to call them off.

"YES! YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE MOST BRIGHT TODAY NARUTO-KUN! I WILL RUN WITH YOU UNTIL YOU CANNOT RUN ANYMORE AND IF I CANNOT DO THAT I WILL…" Shouted a familiar green spandex clad boy from the hallway outside the cafeteria, gaining everyone's attention.

"FOR THE LAST TIME FUZZY BROWS MY FLAMES OF YOUTH ARE NOT BURING BRIGHTLY THERE IS SOMETHING RAPING MY HEAD HELP ME GET IT OFF FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Screamed another familiar voice as they passed the room at a rapid pace.

"Excuse me…" Hana chuckled nervously as she dashed to the door. "BLONDIE! GET YOUR HYPERACTIVE ASS BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

The remaining genin in the room sweat dropped as Hana and her triplets dashed out of the room. "You Konoha ninja are very… energetic it seems…" Gaara commented more to himself than anyone.

"To be honest, those two are among the most energetic…" Chōji sighed before looking around and seeing that Shikamaru had disappeared in the chaos. "Damn it, Shika. You could have at least waited for me to finish before leaving…"

"I sooo hope I get to fight him soon." Temari growled. "I can't wait to humiliate him in front of everyone…"

"That won't work." Chōji sighed, getting an odd look from Temari. "Shikamaru doesn't really care about things like ranking and how he looks to others. He finds things like that troublesome." He paused as he looked at her. "… but I do know a way you can get back at him… _if_ you can beat him, that is…"

Kankuro snorted. "That lazy bum beat Temari in something? Get real fa-" he stalled as he got a dangerous look from Chōji. "Erm… kid. Temari doesn't lose to anyone in anything."

Chōji sighed. "Then she should have no problem beating Shikamaru in shōgi…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in the tower:

"So how did you find the test, Nii-san?" Hinata asked Neji as the remaining two members of Team Gai and Team 8 walked through the tower casually. The two groups had walked into each other that morning after Lee had seen Naruto's 'display of his flames of youth' and gone off after him. Hinata would have helped Naruto out, but she knew better than to get herself mixed into another one of his apparent pranks gone wrong.

Neji sighed. "It was fairly easy. The first team we found had the same scroll as we did, so we simply avoided them. The second proved to be more fruitful, but we managed to take them down unusually easily."

"Now that's a major understatement." Tenten snorted. "I only had to use three of my exploding kunai to take them all out… what?" She asked as she noted the odd looks the members of Team 8 were giving her.

Kiba chuckled. "All we had to do was get Shino to position some of the jumping leeches in the forest into a trap and we got our scroll within the first 30 minutes of the test without getting a scratch…"

"You failed to mention the Suna team." Shino mused as he adjusted his glasses.

Neji raised an eyebrow. "You came across the Suna team? Did you find out anything interesting about them?"

Shino nodded. "We observed a very… one sided fight between them and a team from Ame. The only one that fought was the one that Naruto-san warned us about." He paused to make sure that he had Neji's and Tenten's attention. "He carries sand in that gourd on his back. The sand apparently can defend him from virtually all attacks regardless of his will. It is a very odd jutsu…"

"It was creepy as hell." Kiba added in. "He could capture people in giant clumps of the stuff and literally crush them in an instant, given what he did to that poor, poor defenseless log (sniff, we will miss you, o holy one). That sand of his was also reeking of blood, and I'm talking about loads of it, like from a butchery." Kiba sighed. "Honestly, I'm scared shitless of the guy. Even with my skills, I doubt I would be able to land a hit on him before he catches me…"

"Interesting…" Neji mused. "It seems as if there is more competition in the Exams than originally anticipated.

"All I know is that I don't want to come across whoever set off that HUGE explosion near the beginning of the second exam. I mean, it was on the other side of the grounds from our team and we still felt the shockwave from that monster…" Tenten commented nervously.

Shino nodded. "It is rather disturbing to think that a genin would be capable of a technique such as that… although…" He seemingly glanced at Hinata who shook her head as if denying his suspicions.

"You think of something Shino?" Kiba asked curiously.

Neji frowned in thought. "I believe what Aburame-san was thinking was: what if the one responsible behind the blast was not a genin at all?"

Tenten frowned as well. "But that would be against the rules, wouldn't it? Only the genin and some proctors are allowed in the area during the exams. Heck, they're still going on as we speak…"

"That is why it's so concerning Tenten-chan." Hinata explained. "If the attack was from a jutsu from someone that wasn't supposed to be here…"

"Then something else is occurring during the Exams that we are not aware of yet, and we are walking blindly while someone else is tampering with our entire ordeal. It is very unsettling…" Shino mused before adjusting his glasses again.

Kiba crossed his arms as he tried (miserably) to think on the same level as everyone else around him. "… but if that's the case… wouldn't there be… like, more ninja around here? I mean, this IS where everyone else is trying to get to and everything…"

Everyone else blinked before turning to Kiba. "That… actually makes sense…" Neji breathed out in surprised as everyone else nodded.

"Even Kiba can come up with a good idea when the time comes…" Shino mused.

"Yea- HEY!" Kiba stumbled angrily as Akamaru hid his face behind his paws and whined.

"… There's more people here than I would have guessed…" Hinata said with her Byakugan activated. "All of our sensei minus Zabuza-sensei and Haku-san are here. Kakashi-sensei is doing something to Sasuke-kun… and even Hokage-sama is here. I can see our sensei and some other shinobi walking around the tower… but…" She frowned as she focused more.

"ANBU?" Neji asked with his eyes activated now.

Hinata nodded. "There are several high level shinobi patrolling around the tower… much stronger than any genin should be…"

"This is most concerning…" Shino mused, "However, there is nothing we can do at the moment. We shall have to wait until after the Exams in order to ask for answers."

"… Actually, I was also going to say that there seems to be something on top of Naruto-kun's head Shino-kun…" Hinata blushed. "And it seems to have a very high chakra level…"

o. o. o.

A couple days later:

Teams 7, 8, 10, Gai, Kabuto's team, Gaara's team, the Sound team, and oddly enough Team Oboro (the team from Ame that Naruto's team originally got their scroll from) stood in the middle of a large empty fighting arena, in front of all their sensei, (except for the Sound team's, since Orochimaru was still recovering from his wounds), the Hokage, and several other random jōnin, special jōnin, and chūnin. It should be noted that Anko was flirting heavily with a very unsettled Ghost, and Hana was giving Anko dirty looks every other flirting attempt.

Naruto looked around at his competition while desperately trying to ignore the presence of the guest on top of his head. It was a bit annoying that the lizard on his head was a part of Ghost's family, but he was very SLOWLY getting used to it. Heck, if Kiba could do it with Akamaru, how hard could it be? He was a bit surprised that the team from Ame made it to the finals, but he assumed that since his team didn't take them out like the last time through, they managed to bag another couple of unfortunate teams during the remainder of the second exam.

"First off… congratulations on passing the second exam!" The old Hokage announced.

 _'Not bad.'_ Anko mused between separate pinches of Ghost's butt, causing him to flinch. The poor man would not be able to sit down comfortably for a while. ' _I said that out of 22 teams, I would cut the brats down to half … but I was expecting at most only 6 teams, considering who's here. 8 teams passing is pretty interesting and impressive.'_

 _'There's another team here… so that makes an even number of us here. If someone doesn't drop out, there's a chance that Kabuto will fight one of us… troublesome.'_ Shikamaru mentally grumbled as he eyed the competition. Kakashi, Asuma, Sarutobi, Ghost, Naruto and Gaara were all thinking along the same lines. No doubt the spy would attempt to take it easy during his match, but if he was paired with someone significant to their plans, it could cause problems later on…

"Heh. Your team is pretty impressive, Kakashi." Gai mused with a smirk on his face. "I've seen your student's teamwork and it's pretty impressive, but now they can only progress by pure skill alone, something my students have gained far more than your students… although I am curious as to what Naruto-kun will reveal…"

"Hm? You say something Gai?" Kakashi asked curiously, this time actually not hearing what his self-proclaimed rival had said, causing the large man to cry anime tears.

"Damn you and your hip young attitude, Kakashi!" The man wept.

Neji looked around him curiously. ' _Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata, Naruto Uzumaki, Gaara of the Desert, Lee, Shikamaru Nara… and there are other people here that I know nearly nothing about as well. So many powerful opponents… this will be an interesting day…'_

 _'I hope I don't have to fight anyone on Naruto-kun's team.'_ Hinata silently prayed.

 _'How the hell did that lazy bastard beat me in shōgi every freaking time?!'_ Temari furiously pondered as she glared at a yawning Shikamaru. ' _Even if he is supposed to be smart, there's no WAY he should have won each game as easily as he did!'_

 _'My skin is still irritated where that freak bit me.'_ Sasuke mentally grumbled as he stopped himself from scratching his neck. ' _Thank the Log that Sensei is pretty good at seals, or else I would have had a problem doing jutsu later on in the exams…'_

 _'Soon I'll get back at you, brat.'_ Dosu growled as he stared at Naruto menacingly. ' _I'll humiliate you so bad that you'll never want to be a ninja again…'_

 _'How lucky! That blonde brat's team is here as well! This is the perfect place to get revenge… right in front of their precious leader, and there's nothing anyone can do about it!'_ Oboro mentally chuckled as he caught a glance at Naruto and pondered how to take him down.

 _'This is where no amount of preparation will be able to help us. The random pairings will be most likely a large inconvenience at some point.'_ Gaara mused. ' _I hope things will turn out all right…'_

 _'I wonder who the strongest person here is.'_ Lee pondered as he looked around. ' _Hinata-san managed to defeat my rival Neji so easily… but why do I think that there are others here that are just as strong as she is? Does it have to do with Neji asking about Naruto-kun's and Shikamaru-kun's information before the exams?'_

Naruto smirked as he sensed that he was the focus of several glares amongst his peers. ' _It seems that I'm going to get a decent fight on my hands no matter who I'm matched up with… nice.'_

Sarutobi managed to let out a small smile out of his own. ' _They showed so much promise the first time around… but they are absolutely glowing with power and potential this time, and the look in their eyes is just as apparent. I am going to look forward to this very much…'_

Ghost elbowed Anko in the ribs before nodding his head towards the chūnin hopefuls. "Oh! Um… right." Anko chuckled nervously. "Hokage-sama will now explain the third test, so you brats shut up and listen to what he has to say… or else." She turned to a sweat dropping Sarutobi. "Hokage-sama… if you would please explain."

"Ahem… right. Thank you Mitarashi-san." The Third coughed out.

(Insert speech about exams being a substitute for war)

Sarutobi frowned. "Before we begin the third test, I will tell you one more thing. This is not just a test… this is a life-risking battle, with your dreams and your country's prestige on the line…"

"No pressure, though. Just make sure you have fun…" Joked a female voice from the balcony to the side of the room, gaining everyone's attention as they all turned their heads toward the speaker.

Hanging upside-down from the edge of the floor on the other side of the railings was a demented looking man with shoulder length black hair and red eyes swaying side to side like a child. The tail of his hybrid trench coat strait-jacket was hanging below his head, showing a blood red flame design on the bottom hem of it.

To his right, sitting on top of the railing was a woman with fair skin and long brown/black hair, wearing a trench coat as well with no design, cargo shorts, and a pink spaghetti strap shirt underneath. On her hips were two scaled and very lethal looking clawed gauntlets (as in nails or talons, not Wolverine-style claws) … and she was eating from a large bucket of buttered popcorn.

Behind her, leaning against the rails was a massive old man with chest length facial and scalp hair and piercing stone blue eyes. His trench coat was made to look like a robe more than a coat, and the flame design on the bottom matched the color of his gaze. On his back he carried a massive half teardrop shaped sword and an even longer wooden walking stick. He was currently trying to keep himself awake, and losing terribly.

The last man leaned against the wall behind the other three with a bored look on his face and a snot bubble coming out of his nose. It took but a glance for anyone that had seen him before to notice it was Scabbard Ōgakari.

Ghost sighed as he walked forward. "Hey, midget. Hope the old man didn't bore you to tears…"

Shadow shrugged as she licked her fingers. "That's why I brought the popcorn, bro… although I was hoping it would at least last me until the middle of the preliminaries."

Crypt cackled. "Heheheh. You guys look silly all upside down and stuff. Why are you all upside down?"

 _'That's one hell of a sword on the old man's back…'_ Zabuza mused as he looked at Waltz' blade. ' _I wonder if he'll let me fight him with it… I know that Ghost said that he almost never uses it… but still…'_

 _'OH MY GOD THAT SWORD IS BEAUTIFUL I WANT IT NOWWWWWW!'_ Were the thoughts of one Tenten Higurashi as she too raped… I mean examined Waltz' sword with her eyes… yeah.

 _'That's Ghost's sister? The one that he is scared of beyond all known reason? She doesn't look all that dangerous…'_ Ran through the heads of several people in the room.

Kurenai blinked and spoke out first before anyone else had the nerve to do so. "Hokage-sama… please don't tell me that they are…"

Sarutobi sighed. "Unfortunately, they are Kurenai-san…" He turned to the confused (and some scared shitless) genin. "As a special service to the newest addition to Konoha's forces, please let me introduce the Ōgakari clan, who arrived in force only a few days ago…"

"Good!" Shadow cheered perkily as she jumped down from her perch and landed on the first floor with ease. "Now that we have the introductions out of the way…" Shadow suddenly threw her right arm… which was previously hidden by her long sleeves, forward to unleash a massive, and continuously extending faster than almost anyone else in the room could follow, pale white with dark pink markings, scaled dragon claw, straight at Ghost, who immediately reached into his coat and took out three trays of…

"BROWNIES!" The scared shitless man shouted in a high pitched voice, causing the claw to freeze several inches from gouging his face in. Needless to say, everyone in the room face faulted as the claw snatched up the trays with unusual ease given the size difference and retracted to the woman, who now had stars in her eyes and was drooling profusely.

"Yays! Ghost's bwownies!" Shadow squee'd happily as she hugged the trays and turned around… and kicked out her back right leg, causing it to mimic what her arm did moments before, with her customized socks stretching and adjusting to their container's new form, and this time collide with Ghost and crush him into the opposite wall, much to the surprise of everyone there.

"GHOST!" Anko and Hana shouted as they rushed to where their crush was as Shadow's leg retracted just as fast as it extended. Ghost's body appeared, severely crushed and several bones clearly broken.

"Ha! That (cough) worked perfectly!" The man giggled as he collapsed to the ground and confusing everyone there. "I can still feel my legs and only one of my lungs is pun… wait, there goes the other one… help…"

"Hold on Ghost, I'll…" Hana announced as she rushed with her hands glowing only to be blocked by the old man's walking stick, held by the old man himself. How he had gotten that close to Ghost before anyone else had noticed was something that no one had seen.

"Don't worry." The old man sighed as he walked towards his grandson. "This isn't the first time Shadow has mauled someone in the family, let alone Ghost. I'll bring him back to normal in no time at all…" He smiled gently.

"Thanks…old… man…" Ghost mumbled before Waltz jabbed a finger deep into his side, appearing to have created another wound. "YOU SHRIVELED FUCKING BASTARD OF A GRANNY HUMPER!" He roared as the new pain registered to him. Hana and Anko would have done something about it if they weren't busy looking at Ghost's body. All the broken bones and disfigurements were correcting themselves slowly as the bleeding gradually came to a stop.

"Setting is in place…" Waltz mumbled as he hunched over Ghost's harshly breathing body. "… blood flow is regulated and controlled… now for the healing… bones… membranes… nerves… lost fluid…" Waltz grumbled as Ghost's body regained its previous condition, much to the shock of everyone watching who had not seen the old man at work before. "Done." He announced as he retracted his index finger from Ghost's side, not leaving so much as a mark.

"Damn it, Old Man!" Ghost shouted as he picked himself up with little effort at all. "Why the hell did you have to use your OLD method of healing?! It freaking hurts like hell!"

Waltz smirked as he walked slowly towards the stairs. "That's simply your punishment for not writing to an old man… and for leaving me alone with Crypt and Shadow of all people…"

"… Judging from what I have heard from Ghost…" Kakashi mused out loud in a bored tone. "You are Waltz Ōgakari. The woman that recently almost committed fratricide is Shadow Ōgakari, the man up there who appears to be a few kunai short of a pouch is Crypt Ōgakari, and Scabbard Ōgakari is still sleeping up there, correct?"

Waltz nodded as he paused to stare at Kakashi with his stone blue eyes. "And judging from your lazy attitude, your hair, and your reluctance to use your left eye, I can assume you are Kakashi Hatake, son of Konoha's White Fang… I hear you are quite a pervert… and still quite single despite your _impressive_ reputation… correct?" Several of the shinobi in the room sniggered as Kakashi took the hint to back down. "I believe that the Hokage had something else to say before he was interrupted…"

Sarutobi fumbled. "Ah, yes well, actually I was going to let Ghost take over from here…"

Ghost stretched his arms over his head as he walked forward in front of the confused genin, (most of) who were confused as to why he was acting like he wasn't on death's door moments earlier. "Okay! Here's the deal, minions. The third part of the exam is set up like a tournament. A one-on-one, nothing held back, free for all fight. It will be held in the village's arena for everyone, including daimyō and other important figures, to watch…" He paused as he let the words sink in. "It will take place in one month, but here's the problem."

"NORMALLY, there are at most around four teams that pass the second part of any given Chūnin Exams. Because there is a limited amount of time that these important figures can stay in Konoha, there have to be, in turn, a limited number of fights. This is why, for the first time in five years, that Konoha will have a preliminary round before the third exam to see who actually fights in the arena… with the same rules as the third exam. Said rules are: beat the living shit out of each other until I say stop, one of you gives up, or one of you dies. Pretty simple, isn't it?" Ghost smirked as the genin in front of him think about what he had just said.

"I'm in charge of proctoring the preliminaries as well as the third exam, so let me just tell you guys right now," He raised his killing intent just enough to make everyone in the room to shiver unconsciously, "My word is absolute. You ignore what I say, or break the rules… and I'll break _you_."

Shadow chuckled as she listened to Ghost's speech while her face was submerged in the second pan of brownies. He was no Ibiki, but he certainly had a way with words when he wanted to be intimidating.

Ghost also makes very good brownies. (A/N: I do toooooooo!)

"Now that I have scared the shit out of all of you." Ghost continued casually. "I'm gonna have to ask that anyone who isn't at the top of their game or is too fatigued at the moment to drop out now, since the preliminaries are starting right now." He paused for a moment as he looked around curiously. "Anyone? Come on, there's no way that ALL of you are not even winded by that freak show of a forest…" He was met with silence as all the genin stared at him impassively. "Really?" He shrugged. "All right, then. Twelve one on one matches of minors beating the living tar out of each other, coming right up… oh, and don't worry about going overboard in your matches, Waltz there is an awesome healer, even if he is a bit of a prick sometimes…"

"Likewise, brat." Waltz grumbled as he walked up the stairs.

Ibiki leaned over the third's shoulder. "It appears that Sasuke's seal is not causing any problems for him now, but…"

Sarutobi shook his head. "It is under control, Ibiki. I have planned as much so far; to change things now would only provoke Orochimaru. He made as much clear by simply showing up…"

"SO! Seeing as no one wants to jump ship now, we'll start the preliminaries." Ghost shouted in an excited tone as he turned to the wall with the panels surrounding the giant model of two hands making a tiger hand sign.

"Open it." Anko ordered through her headset, and moments later a screen appeared behind one of the panels.

"This screen will randomly chose two names from the group of you. The names appearing on the board will fight for a spot in the finals. No name will be repeated, and there are no second chances. Sooo…" The names started to appear on the screen rapidly to give the impression that it was random.

"Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn, show us the lesson that we should lear-" WHAM! One of the brownie pans that Shadow was done eating out of nailed Ghost in the back of the head. (A/N: Just started watching Animaniacs again… god I love the older American made cartoons, not like that politically correct crap they put on TV these days… aside from Chowder. That shit is hilarious.)

"Sorry! Jeez!" Ghost shouted to the rafters as he rubbed the back of his head and turned to the screen again and raised an eyebrow, mimicking the looks on several other faces in the room. "Sasuke Uchiha vs. Neji Hyūga… interesting." He turned around to Sarutobi and gave the man an 'I told you s' look before he turned around and rubbed his hands together. "So, emos A and B can stay on the floor. The rest of you move to the second floor balcony where my homicidal sister and deranged brother are waiting."

Sasuke smirked. ' _Right off the bat eh? This should be fun… Neji's pretty damn strong from what I've heard.'_

Neji looked at his opponent with an analyzing gaze. ' _Byakugan vs. Sharingan… quite a way to start off the exams, if I say so myself. This will be an interesting match to see who has the better sight…'_

Similar thoughts were going through the minds of the remaining rookie Konoha genin and those who had heard of Sasuke's and Neji's reputations before as they traveled up the stairs.

"I'm interested to see what Ghost and Scab did to train those kids…" Shadow mused to herself as she hung over the railing and cleaned her face of the chocolate goodness that once was three full pans full of brownies. "Those two always manage to come up with interesting ways to make anyone stronger…"

"That boy…" Crypt mused, catching anyone's attention within hearing distance. "His cold, cold stare… that pale creamy looking clothing… it can't be… he's…"

Everyone blinked as they stared at the serious looking upside down man. "He's…?" Shadow continued…

"… an ice cream person…" Crypt whispered out darkly, causing everyone to face fault. "… I must TASTE HIMMM!" He roared as he dropped from the balcony, landing on his head before dashing towards an extremely confused and scared Neji. This did nothing to help him as Crypt sprinted towards the youth and latched his over-large mouth on the top of Neji's head before the boy could react. The next few sentences were heard clearly, despite the fact that Crypt's mouth was full of Neji's head and hair… (A/N: You are sick bastards… I don't need to say who you are, you already know you dirty perverts, you sicken me). "This?! This is!" He gasped in awe, getting confused and anticipating looks from everyone in the room.

"Strawwwwwberry…"

Everyone in the room face faulted yet again, but this time getting a few loud laughs from several people in the room. "Hahahahahaha! I don't believe it! Neji tastes like strawberries!" Naruto roared on his back and pounded on the ground.

"I-it's probably the sh-shampoo he uses…" Hinata giggled. "A lot of m-my clan l-like to take too m-much care of t-their hair…"

"It's the super rare, impossible to find strawberry ice cream boy!" Crypt announced. "I thought they were just a myth!"

"O-Okay…" Ghost breathed out heavily, trying to get the laughter out of his system. "As much as I love Crypt doing shit like this, I gotta get him out of here. Waltz?"

Waltz sighed as he jumped over the railings again and walked over to the stunned and humiliated Hyūga. "Sorry that happened, lad… he does things like this occasionally…" He chuckled as he grabbed the back of Crypt's head, which was at the moment gnawing at the back of Neji's head like a brain dead zombie. He expertly unhinged Crypt's jaw from Neji's head, and then pitched the insane man into the closest wall, causing the wall to crack with said damaged head in the center, to the shock of everyone watching. Waltz then walked over, picked Crypt up again, and flung him above his head where the man naturally hooked his legs on the ledge above him near Shadow and resulted in the same position as he was before… only he was bleeding from his head more.

"Is he all right?" Shikamaru asked skeptically as he watched Crypt giggle to himself.

" **I** WEAR SHORT SHORTS!" Crypt roared to no one in particular.

"Yep." Ghost responded with a shrug. "You get used to it eventually. Now back to the fight… are the contestants ready? Neji? Neeeji?" Ghost snapped his fingers in front of the severely traumatized Hyūga, who after several moments came back to reality.

"Hn?! Wha?" Neji stammered with a significant twitch on his face.

"I asked if you're ready to fight." Ghost repeated himself with a smirk on his face.

"Oh… right. Yes I am ready…" Neji breathed out slowly as he regained his composure and got into his Jūken stance.

"I'm ready…" Sasuke smirked as he crouched into a better starting position.

"Right! So, Sasuke Uchiha vs. Strawberry Shortcake… I mean Neji Hyūga. Begin!" Ghost announced as he jumped back from the two skilled boys.

Right off the bat Sasuke blazed through several hand signs as he backed away from Neji, who almost immediately charged at him. He knew that close ranged combat with a perfectly healthy Hyūga was a suicidal decision, and that Neji was significantly faster than he was, so he would stall for time until he could get his sword out. "Fire Style: Grand Fireball Technique!" Sasuke roared as he blew a giant fireball directly at Neji. Neji in turn frowned as he managed to jump out of the way of the attack, despite the close range at which it was fired. By the time his eyes adjusted to the normal light again, Sasuke had already drawn his sword and had activated his Sharingan. Neji frowned as he activated his dōjutsu again and the pair stared at each other intently.

Neji started off the fight again by throwing several volleys of kunai and shuriken at Sasuke in order to distract him so he couldn't form any more hand signs and then closing in on the Uchiha. Which worked, albeit not as well as it could have against someone without a Sharingan, but worked none the less. After several throws, Neji finally managed to get within striking distance, only to block a slash of Sasuke's sword with one of his palms. "What!?" Sasuke asked, surprised that his blade was stopped by a single open hand. His surprise was interrupted by pain as Neji landed a few glancing blows to Sasuke's side before the Uchiha managed to recover his defense and create a bit more distance between the two.

"Well… that was new…" Naruto mused as he watched the fight with interest. "It's not every day you come across someone that can bitch-slap a sword without a getting scratch… or losing a hand."

Chōji looked at Shikamaru curiously. "Hey Shika… how do you think that happened?"

Shikamaru frowned as he looked at the pair stare each other down again. "It probably has to do with Jūken and chakra control…" Shikamaru mused.

"Sasuke-kun…" Ino and Sakura whispered to themselves.

"All right, Neji… now go for the kill…" Tenten grinned confidently.

Neji smirked as Sasuke winced and grabbed his side. "I might as well tell you now, your sword won't work on me. I have trained to focus enough chakra in my hands to deflect almost any weapon attacks with my hands…" ' _Although Tenten's special weapons are another thing entirely, but I won't say that bit out loud…'_ "Give up; you can't keep up with me, and I won't let you use any of your other fire techniques…"

Sasuke smirked as he looked at Neji. "… You should know better than to think I'll give up like that, strawberry boy…"

Neji frowned as he dashed in and attempted to finish the match, striking out with his right hand. Sasuke managed to parry the attack with his sword before somehow managing to counter the second one less than a fraction of a second later. The pair continued the rapid dance of blades and palms as the spectators watched in awe.

"Kid's got good form and instinct…" Zabuza mused as he watched Sasuke's swordsmanship in action. "He'll become a hell of a swordsman with a bit more practice and experience."

"They're both really good…" Shadow mused to herself. "I can see that Sasuke's Sharingan is helping him out with countering and predicting Neji's movements fairly well… but why does it look like Neji is somehow doing the same? Movements that fast and accurate can't be made simply by experience and practice at such a young age…"

Scabbard yawned as he walked up next to Shadow. "… when Ghost and I were planning how to train the genin, we ran into a conundrum with Neji. We obviously couldn't run him through the same training that we gave Hinata, but we were also limited as to what we could teach him in general due to his clan. It took us a while to come up with something that would actually fit Neji's style, but Ghost finally managed to think of something…"

"Oh?" Waltz mused as he watched the fight with interest. "Do tell…"

Scabbard nodded as he got a brief look from Gai. "Neji is a genius. Even without his Byakugan, his family was well known for their skills in hellstromism, but it was still limited in terms of what they knew and what to look for."

"I see…" Shadow said, quickly putting the pieces together in her head. "You capitalized on that fact and taught him advanced muscle reading techniques not only for the face, but for the entire body too…"

Waltz continued. "And with a taijutsu oriented teammate, he has had plenty of experience and practice at using the information in actual combat… so very slowly, he has been ingraining an ocular reactionary response into his body based around taijutsu, similar to…"

"A two tomoe Sharingan, for now at least." Scabbard concluded in an even tone. "With his Byakugan, Neji is able to absorb all the necessary information, and his training with Lee has built his reaction and interpretation time to process the data. Throw in his higher speed and he has a distinct advantage in this fight. Sasuke still has a chance at winning, but it will be difficult if he does not treat his opponent as a person wielding a Sharingan instead of a Byakugan… especially one on Neji's level…"

Neji smirked as he managed to steal another glancing blow off of Sasuke. "You're slowing down, Uchiha. Where was that confidence that you had displayed earlier?"

Sasuke panted as he barely countered another blow before seeing something and smirking. "… Why, it's in the palm of your hands, Hyūga…"

Neji frowned before a tingling feeling registered in his hands, which distracted him enough for Sasuke to slash again at a small opening. "You idiot." Neji growled as he blocked the strike itself with two hands so that he could better absorb the impact of the blow… only to cringe moments later as a piercing sensation flared through his hands where the blade met his palms. "What?!" Neji roared as he deflected the sword at the last moment and jumped back to look at his hands. Each palm had a deep burn mark across it where they had met the blade, but there were also smaller, minor burns crossing them at awkward angles as well.

Sasuke smiled as he twirled his sword expertly, which was now giving off an eerie orange glow. "You focused your chakra in your hands to only counter a blade's edge, nothing else. All I did was channel a small enough amount of composed fire chakra through my sword when you blocked and parried that you wouldn't notice it at first, even with your Byakugan. I've read enough about your clan's style to know that you mainly deal damage through your hands. If I take those out of the picture, well, it would be similar to you shutting off my tenketsu…" He breathed out slowly as he calmed himself down and focused. "It must be getting pretty hard and painful to focus and release chakra through your hands, now that the burns are accumulating…"

 _'He's right.'_ Neji thought angrily. ' _Now that I am aware of my injuries, I am starting to lose control of my hands, and the chakra flow out of my palms is becoming erratic. What is even worse is that I do not know how to efficiently counter elemental chakra through my hands just yet, so any attempt to deflect that sword of his will only leave me in a worse position. I have to end the fight now… and I think I might have a way to do so… but it's risky.'_

"The skill that both of them possess is truly amazing…" Sarutobi mused as the others around him watched in awe and silence. "Both are calmly assessing the situation and planning their next moves… if any of the other fights are like this… then Ghost's proposition for the third exam would not be as ludicrous as first anticipated…"

"Come on!" Sasuke shouted as he charged at Neji again. He had to keep the Hyūga busy and on the defensive. Attacking from a distance now was still too big a chance to take right now given Neji's reputation of being a genius. Any of the mid and long ranged attacks he knew were too slow to catch Neji since his only current injuries were his slightly burnt hands. He would either have to cripple Neji's legs or do more damage to his hands if he wanted a decisive victory. Not only that, but Neji's previous blows were starting to really affect him, and he would have to end the fight soon if he wanted to see the remaining fights.

The pair once again sparred off in an amazing dance of gentle taps and sword strikes, only this time Sasuke was on the offensive. "Go, Teme!" Naruto shouted, completely absorbed into the fight. "Kick his ass!" He would never admit it out loud, but Naruto was unnerved by Sasuke's and Neji's skill. He had assumed that only Hinata and Lee were better than him at taijutsu and close ranged combat at this point, but Neji and Sasuke were completely putting what he knew to shame. Sure, he was a bit faster and stronger than most of them, and if all else failed he did have Sage Mode and the Kyūbi's chakra, but they had the natural insight that only a person born for close combat could achieve. Sure, he could hold his own against them for a while, but win in a simple fist fight? That would need a bit of luck on his part to pull off.

Neji panted as he deflected another sword strike. He needed to get his opening soon… there! Sasuke had just attempted to stab Neji when he overextended himself just a hair too much. It wasn't enough to get in close, but it was enough to keep him in place for his next move to work.

"KAITEN!" Neji roared as he instantly spun like a top while blasting his chakra from every tenketsu from his body, slamming a very surprised Sasuke into the air and separating him from his sword.

"What?!" Several people gasped as they recognized the Hyūga clan's Main house technique.

"Yes!" Tenten cheered, although feeling a bit guilty for not giving an occasional root for her secret sword sparring partner.

"You managed to recreate the technique on your own, Nii-san?" Hinata whispered to herself in shock.

"It's over." Neji announced as he stopped spinning and immediately set himself into another familiar stance. "You're in my range of divination…"

"TEME!" Naruto roared as Sasuke fell through the air.

Sasuke opened his eyes and saw that Neji was about to finish him off. His sword was on the other side of the arena and the cloud of chakra that Neji had just used to defend himself with was still somewhat lingering around him. He heard his heart beating slowly, he saw Neji about to charge, he felt his body groan in protest, he felt his lungs fill with air…

"8 Trigrams, 64 Palms!" Neji announced as he rushed towards the still airborne Sasuke.

"Fire Style: Small Fire Stream!" Sasuke called out as he breathed out a small but potent stream of fire at Neji who was unable to dodge the attack due to being in the middle of his own. Neji roared in pain as he instinctively hit Sasuke for the first two segments of the technique (2 and 4 palms) before registering the fact that he was on fire and began rolling on the ground in an attempt to put it out. Sasuke in turn collapsed on the ground due to the massive damage that he had received in several second's worth of time. Coughing up blood heavily, the Uchiha managed to pick himself up, although he was far from fine at the moment. Quickly looking around, he saw that Neji was still distracted by being on fire and as a result had turned off his Byakugan. Using the remaining strength he had, rushed towards the Hyūga and knocked him out with a kick to the back of his head. "He's knocked out! Someone put him out!" Sasuke called out before collapsing on his knees and coughing up more blood.

Ghost smirked as he walked towards the two boys on the ground. With a quick wave of his hand, he smothered the fires on Neji without injuring him further. "Neji Hyūga is unable to continue fighting. The match goes to Sasuke Uchiha. Waltz, get your ass over here and heal these guys. They put on a damn good show…"

"Here, here!" Shadow called out with a wicked grin on her face.

"All right, Teme!" Naruto shouted.

"Nii-san…" Hinata mumbled in a sad tone…

"Sasuke-kuun!" Ino and Sakura squealed in unison.

"He is my eternal rival and has defeated me repeatedly, yet he was still beaten by Sasuke…" Lee mused as he watched Waltz hover over Neji with glowing white hands while Hana was over Sasuke with glowing green hands.

"Wow… glad those two fought each other…" Kiba mused. "I don't think I could have beaten either one of them…"

"Sasuke Uchiha… so that is why you are desired…" Dosu frowned as he played the fight back in his head.

"Lucky! Two strong opponents fought each other. That means we have a better chance!" Oboro sighed in relief.

"There…" Waltz sighed as he removed himself from Neji's body and picked the boy up as he turned to the medics near him. "His hands will need a bit more work, but he should be back to 100% in a few days. It is safe for him to stay here…"

"Uchiha-san is in similar condition…" Hana mused as she helped the dark haired boy up. "Aside from a bit of internal bleeding and some shut off tenketsu, he is perfectly fine. He will be back to normal within the same time frame.

Ghost nodded as the four made their way back up the stairs. "Alright! Next fight please, oh magi- damn it, already picked the names…" He grumbled as he looked at the board. "Temari of the Desert vs. Chōji Akimichi!"

"Another interesting match…" Mused Scabbard as Waltz returned to his side.

"How so?" Shadow asked curiously.

"Well, aside from the obvious…" Scabbard hinted, "The fight is in an area that can be used to Chōji's advantage… and…"

"And?" Waltz asked.

Scabbard let loose a small grin. "Well, let's just say that one of Ghost's pranks on Chōji involved giving him red shoes and painting him completely blue…"

Waltz and Shadow paused for a moment before whipping their heads around and staring at Chōji intently.

"It seems that Chōji's new moves were based around someone they knew…" Shikamaru mused to himself before turning to Chōji. "Hey, do your best out there, but don't try to kill yourself. I have a feeling that she can give you a run for your money…"

Chōji shrugged as he walked towards the stairs. "Hey, at least I'm not up against you or that weird Sand guy… or Lee. I'll just try my best and see what happens, Shika…"

"Hey, lard ass!" Temari called out, causing everyone who knew Chōji to flinch. "Get your butt down here so I can beat it!"

"An interesting match indeed…" Smirked Scabbard.

"O-KAY!" Ghost called out as he stood between a confident looking Temari and a very pissed Chōji. "Temari, Chōji, are you two ready to fight?"

"Bring it on." Both of them said at once.

"FIGHT!" Ghost shouted as he backed away quickly from the pair.

Almost immediately, Chōji instinctively used his clan's Multisize technique to transform into a huge ball and automatically charged at Temari. "Heh. You get mad at me for calling you fat, but then you go ahead and make yourself even fatter. Sorry, chubby, but you aren't my type." Temari chuckled as she took out her fan and opened it. "Sickle Weasel Technique!" She roared as she waved her fan and blew Chōji back into the wall with a large crack… only to have the giant ball bounce back with increased force. "What?!" She roared as she barely dodged the oncoming attack.

Asuma chuckled. "That's Chōji's new supplementary technique for his Human Bullet Tank technique, Earth Style: Blunt Inner Mirror. It makes his body act like rubber, which is perfect in conjunction with his clan's techniques, especially in an enclosed arena like this one. The harder you try to hit him back, the harder he'll come back at you…"

"That's some jutsu…" Kakashi mused as Temari barely dodged another attack and Chōji slammed into several walls with a deep boom each time. It was easy to tell where Chōji had hit the walls, and the Hokage was concerned that if the fight wasn't ended soon the building's structure might be compromised… "It's similar to Kakuzu's Earth Spears technique, only the concentration of chakra is less dense, resulting in the rubber effect… but if he used Earth Spears instead…"

"Damn it!" Temari shouted as she jumped up into the air and kneeled on her fan as it floated in the air. ' _I thought this fight would be easy, but fat ass has some pretty decent moves on him. Fighting in an enclosed area like this is not helping me much either, and my Sickle Weasel technique isn't strong enough to get through his fat… SHIT!'_ Temari broke out of her thoughts as an airborne giant ball nearly took her head off. ' _What the… fuck of COURSE he can hit me in the air, he's made of freaking RUBBER NOW! He can bounce!'_ Temari berated herself as she attempted to maneuver herself in the air, only to be shocked as she noticed that a part of her fan's membrane was shredded. "What?!"

Chōji chuckled as he temporarily stopped rotating on the ground, revealing that his body was covered in his hair and thus in sharp spikes, his bandanna removed at some point during the fight. "Ninja Art: Hari Jizō, and so when combined with Human Bullet Tank, Hidden Technique: Spiked Human Bullet Tank…"

"All right Chōji!" Naruto cheered on.

"I assume you taught him Hari Jizō?" Kakashi asked curiously as Sakura and Sasuke listened in on the conversation.

Naruto smirked. "Ero-nii told me that while it's a good technique by itself, Chōji could use it on a whole different level cause of his clan techniques. He couldn't really use it that well at first cause his hair was too short…"

"…Which is why he was using a protector with a bandanna instead of his old one, to hide how much hair he actually has now…" Kakashi observed.

Naruto smiled more as Chōji managed to clip Temari's fan again. "It was custom made by Tenten with seals on the inside so that it could hold all that hair without revealing too much. To be honest, he has longer hair than I do right now." He laughed as he reached behind his back to feel where the bottom of his ponytail reached, which was just above the bottom of his shoulder blades. "If it weren't for the fact that I know… those techniques, I would say without a doubt that Chōji has literally the strongest set of moves in our age group…"

"Go, Chōji!" Ino cheered to her teammate. "Destroy her, you loveable bouncing spiky giant ball of death, you, or else I will make you suffer!"

Shikamaru and Asuma sweat dropped. Oh yeah, they were definitely going to have to take her away from Anko for a while.

Kankuro was staring at the fight with his mouth wide open. "Temari's losing to the fat ass? What the heck?"

Shadow snorted as she tried to hold in her laughter. "Giant Bouncing Hedgehog style at its finest, my friends…"

"… You're thinking of painting Chōji blue as soon as he gets out of the hospital, aren't you?" Waltz sighed, only to be met with maniacal giggling from the woman.

 _'You better finish her off quick, Chōji.'_ Shikamaru frowned as he saw his potential girlfriend develop a focused look. ' _Temari was never one to stay on the defensive for long…'_

"Damn it!" Temari roared as she whipped her fan out just as Chōji was approaching for another pass and blasted him with another gale of wind, but this time it was not as strong as it originally was due to the damage to the fan. The gust in turn managed only to temporarily stop Chōji instead of throw him back, shocking the two combatants temporarily before Chōji started to spin again and start moving.

Shikamaru groaned as he saw Temari's eyes flash with confidence. "Troublesome… It's over…" Asuma sighed in agreement as many of the other more experienced shinobi in the room noted the change in tide as well.

"Of course it's over!" Ino yelled at Shikamaru. "Chōji's been beating the living daylights out of her since the match began!"

Shikamaru shook his head as he watched the conclusion of his best friend's match. "Just watch, you troublesome girl…"

"This is it!" Chōji roared as he came in for the final passing at Temari, who just stood still with her fan in her hands.

"You're right…" She whispered as she readied her fan. "It is." With that Temari once again waved her fan at Chōji. "Sickle Weasel Technique!" She called out as the wind blown by Temari's fan collided with Chōji's massive figure. The two pushed against each other for several seconds before both forces canceled each other out and Chōji was left standing absolutely still. "THERE!" Temari roared as she swung her fan a second time and hoped she had enough chakra and skill to pull off this technique. "GREAT SICKLE WEASEL TECHNIQUE!" She yelled as a massive gale of cutting wind impacted Chōji's very large frame.

Chōji, in turn, yelled out in pain as the significantly larger wind blades cut through his body and hacked off bits of his hair. Luckily, due to the fact that he was still in his expanded size, only his body was injured and not his head or limbs, but the damage was significant enough for everyone to tell that Chōji would not be able to bear much more damage. Sure enough, as soon as the offensive technique was finished, Chōji collapsed due to his deep injuries and his Multisize technique canceled out, leaving the boy out cold on the ground, revealing his long brown spiky hair.

"Chōji is unable to battle. The winner of the second match is Temari of the Desert!" Ghost called out in a referee like manner as Waltz once again jumped over the railing to tend to the wounded.

"What… what just happened?" Ino asked in a daze. "Chōji was winning…"

Shikamaru sighed. "He took too much time and Temari found a way to counter his attack. Chōji's technique is based upon gaining momentum and building up speed. He can't do much if he's not moving. Temari discovered this by accident when she tried to counter his attack after he shredded part of her fan and he came to a stop instead of flying in a different direction. It was easy to make the rest of the plan from there… troublesome."

"She turned her attack strategy into a two stage plan." Asuma explained. "The first gust of wind was to stop Chōji in his tracks so he would stop spinning and so she could deal more damage to him, and the second, main attack was the finishing move since he was defenseless at that point…"

 _'An impressive match none the less.'_ Kabuto mused as he listened in on Team 10's conversation. _'To be honest, I doubt I would have lasted that long against an Akimichi with an attack style like that. Combining three separate techniques like that to such efficiency is very impressive for one so young, and he was supposedly one of the weakest genin here according to my information… and Sasuke-kun and Neji-kun's performance earlier was far beyond what I had expected as well, not including the fact that Orochimaru-sama's cursed mark seems to be sealed. If the remaining matches are at this level… I may have to inform Orochimaru-sama of my concerns. The genin here are fighting far beyond the capacity of a chūnin hopeful… it's more like they are trying to reach the rank of special jōnin at this rate…'_

"Ugh…" Chōji groaned as Waltz helped the boy up the stairs to his team. "Sorry, guys. I lost…"

"You're damn right you should be sorry! You were winning the entire time and mnph!" Ino ranted before Asuma covered her mouth with one of his hands.

"You did very well, Chōji." Asuma smiled. "By all means you should be proud of how far you got. You lost to a strong opponent, but I bet even my old man was impressed by your display just now considering how young you are. As soon as all this is over, I'll treat you to some barbecue on me, all you can eat. You deserved it."

Chōji smiled as Shikamaru patted him on his back. "It seems we're both cursed with troublesome blondes, buddy…" The Nara laughed as Ino pouted before giving up against Asuma's pure strength.

Temari groaned as she examined her fan while walking up the stairs to her siblings. The membrane in several areas was shredded badly from Chōji's constant attacks. How she managed to pull off a Great Sickle Weasel technique with it in this condition was beyond her, almost as much as how close she was to actually losing the match just a few moments before. She was definitely not expecting someone as laid back and well… fat, as Chōji to put up such a fight against her. It made her wonder how dangerous that Shikamaru guy was, considering Chōji followed him around like a lost puppy.

"Hey, you all right? Fatty almost had you for a moment there." Kankuro asked curiously, snapping Temari out of her pondering.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. I'm just pissed that my fan is trashed this badly." Temari laughed nervously as Baki looked at her analytically. She then paused for a moment. "Hey, Kankuro…"

Said puppet wielder raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, sis? What's up?"

Temari breathed out slowly. "I'm getting a weird feeling from that Shikamaru kid…"

Kankuro chuckled. "Oh? Does big sis have a crush? Does your heart go…" WHAM! Temari decked her younger brother in the face to make him shut up, not knowing that there was a small blush on her face.

"That's not the case at all, dumbass." Temari grunted angrily. "I was about to say that there's something off about him. He looks weak and acts the part too, but I can't shake the feeling that he's one of the more dangerous people here. If you get him… be careful."

Kankuro grunted as he rubbed his face where Temari hit him. "Yeah, sure, whatever, crazy bitch…" The sullen puppet master grumbled as he watched the screen for the next match.

"All right!" Ghost shouted happily. "Onto the next match!" He turned to the screen and raised an eyebrow. ' _Interesting… these matches are going to give us all some odd results for the third exam.'_ "Kiba Inuzuka vs. Dosu Kinuta!"

Shino frowned at the match pairing. "This match will not end well for you, Kiba. Your opponent uses sound-based attacks, if Naruto is correct. You and Akamaru are at a distinct disadvantage here…"

Kiba nodded as he started to search his pouches and walked for the stairs. "Thanks, Shino, I had forgotten about that info…" He smirked. "…but now that you mention it, I also remember the dead last practically blowing up his arm soon after he told us that stuff…"

Dosu sneered as Kiba loudly brought up that incident, causing several people to snigger in the stands as his right arm twitched with the phantom pain of the mentioned incident. Oh, how he would enjoy beating down this loudmouthed brat soon.

"The third match! Kiba vs. Dosu!" Ghost shouted as Kiba got into position and placed Akamaru on the ground and rubbed his head while feeding him something. Moments later Akamaru's fur turned red. ' _He's not taking any chances.'_ Thought those who knew Kiba's fighting style. "Begin!"

Dosu charged forward as Kiba blazed through some hand signs. "Four Legs Technique! Man Beast Clone!" He yelled out as his appearance grew more feral and Akamaru transformed into a copy of Kiba.

Dosu frowned as he approached the feral pair. "A fat load of help that's going to do you, brat! You still can't defend against my attacks!"

"Who said we were going to defend!?" Kiba challenged as he and Akamaru crouched down. "Secret technique: Dual Bullet Fang!" He called out as he and Akamaru bolted forward and performed what appeared to be a Gatsūga (Dual Piercing Fang) but blasted forward in a straight line and was much MUCH faster. Dosu's eyes widened in shock as he barely managed to jump out of the way of the attack.

"I don't get it…" Mused Naruto as he watched the fight. "That looks exactly like a Gatsūga, only faster. How is that technique any better than what he did before…"

Kakashi sighed as he decided to spell it out for Naruto. "Naruto, Gatsūga was designed to do grating damage to the opponent's sides. In a way, it's designed to deal with multiple enemies at once, hitting as many opponents as possible while still maintaining the same level of power for long periods of time. This technique, on the other hand, is more of a finishing move, like THAT technique. All its power is focused in the front and the speed that it forces its user at ensures that what or whoever it hits will receive all if not most of the force in the attack. Of course, there are limitations to its use, but in Kiba's case…"

Dosu grimaced as his opponents managed to clip his leg again. This would not do. "Hidden art…" He mumbled as he performed some hand signs and held his right arm in front of his face. "Great Resonance…"

"ARRRGGGHHH!" Kiba and Akamaru roared as they fell to the ground and held their ears in pain. Ghost frowned for a moment as his ears were also momentarily assaulted by the high pitched ringing noise before he adjusted the air around him to filter out the noise, then doing the same for Hana and her triplets, who were also suffering somewhat badly from the technique.

"Did you really think that I was that limited in my sound attack range?" Dosu chuckled as he approached the pair, still writhing on the ground. "I may not be able to do significant damage to a human's ears with this technique, but I know for a fact that mutts are rather weak against it… oh well…" He raised his right arm. "… sucks to be you…"

"I was thinking the exact same thing." Kiba laughed to a shocked Dosu as he set off a bunch of smoke bombs he had hidden in his hands, covering all three in a giant cloud of smoke. "Now, Akamaru! Dual Piercing Fang!"

"Wha- Argh!" Dosu yelled as he was assaulted from multiple angles in the smoke.

"I don't get it…" Sakura mused to herself. "It's not like I'm not happy that Kiba's winning, but how did he and Akamaru recover from that attack so quickly?"

Naruto frowned. "Didn't you notice him pet Akamaru just before the match? He rubbed Akamaru's head…"

Sakura's eyes widened in recognition. "He put something in Akamaru's and his ears just before the match! … but then, how did he know when to fight and how to react to Dosu's technique?"

Kakashi shrugged. "My guess is that either their makeshift earplugs don't work completely, being able to only hear at a human's range or less with the plugs on, or that they improvised the entire thing. Ghost's starting the match was very easy to read, and from the way Dosu was positioning his arm, it was somewhat simple to guess that he was using another sound based technique… either way I must say I am impressed that Kiba has improved this much. He may still be rather brash at times, but his battle tactics have dramatically developed."

Sakura frowned. "Then how did Akamaru know when to transform and partner up with Kiba, let alone know what technique they were going to use?"

Naruto shook his head. "Sakura, Kiba and Akamaru have been partners for years before any of our teams were formed. They know each other on an instinctual level, so something like that should be expected from them."

"That's IT!" Dosu roared inside the cloud as he continued to take on more damage. "I am tired of getting looked down upon by these pathetic CHILDREN!" Before anyone could register what Dosu had said, the Sound genin had placed his right hand on the ground beneath him and channeled his soundwaves into it, causing the earth beneath him to explode around him and blast Kiba and Akamaru in different directions. Leaving no time to waste, the boy dashed towards the nearest body and placed his hand on his chest before he could react and set off his melody arm once again. The 'Kiba' that Dosu attacked roared in pain before exploding in a cloud of smoke, revealing a wounded and bleeding Akamaru.

"Akamaru!" Kiba roared as the dust settled around the arena. Dosu breathed heavily as he took out a kunai and held it to the puppy's throat.

"Give up or your mutt dies." Dosu rasped haggardly.

Apparently the blast had knocked out Kiba's earplugs because the Inuzuka growled at his opponent before looking at Akamaru and then back at Dosu again. "Grrr… fine. I give…" Kiba announced regretfully, well aware that his comrades were looking at him in sorrow all around him.

Ghost nodded. "Winner of the third match: Dosu."

Kiba frowned. "There, I gave up. Let Akamaru go…"

Dosu narrowed his eye before chuckling darkly and raising his kunai. "Nah, I don't think I will…" Time slowed down as Dosu's arm closed in on the unconscious puppy to all the Konoha genin watching.

"Akamaru!" Kiba roared.

Ghost frowned. "Crypt…" He whispered.

Before anyone could react or see what happened, a massive red and black scythe impacted the ground where Dosu was. The menacing blood red blade stuck into the ground just a few inches from Akamaru's small neck, arched back and around Dosu's shivering hand, still holding the kunai, and back around till it reached the long black shaft where it stuck up at a 45 degree angle away from the pair. Dosu was scared shitless tenfold. Not only had this beast of a weapon appeared out of nowhere, but he could swear the thing was whispering for his blood in several hundred voices… and he KNEW he was not imagining that massive bloodlust from the thing when he was this close to it.

"Awww. I lost…" Pouted Crypt as he swayed upside down like a 5 year old.

"E-excuse me?" Kurenai asked in a shocked and confused tone.

Crypt pouted even more. "I-I was having a throwing contest against myself… but I ran out of things to throw… so I lost…"

Everyone blinked in confusion and fear at what Crypt had just said. "You mean to tell us that that beautiful and horrifically deadly looking scythe… is yours?!" Zabuza asked jealously, voicing out what everyone else was thinking.

"Yep! That's my Third Fang! I hug it and love it and feed it and clean it and give kisses when it gets a boo boo and…" Crypt giggled as he swayed side to side even more.

"Yes, yes, that's nice Crypt." Ghost sighed as he picked up Akamaru carefully and gave him to Kiba. Dosu on the other hand remained frozen in his place due to fear of the scythe. He could swear that the thing was staring at him if it had eyes. "I hope you learned your lesson." Ghost said seriously as he approached Dosu. "You fuck up again, brat, and you won't get away with simply shitting yourself in public, got it?" Dosu nodded shakily as he attempted to pick himself back up, reaching for the shaft of the scythe for leverage, when Ghost grabbed his hand. "DON'T… don't touch the scythe… trust me, you really don't want to…"

"Th-thanks…" Dosu mumbled out as he slowly edged away from the seemingly pulsating weapon and got back up. Hana tended to Akamaru and Kiba, being their sister and a veterinarian, while Waltz grudgingly tended to Dosu.

"Oi, Crypt! Can you take back your fang now? You know I hate holding the damn thing… and the next match is gonna start soon." Ghost called out to Crypt. Said maniac simply giggled, raised one of his legs that was hooked on the second floor, and slammed his heel on the ledge again. The Third Fang blasted out of the ground and flew through the air until the blade looked like it was about to uppercut the man while he was upside down, much to everyone's fear. However, Crypt expertly rotated his head just as the blade came in contact with his neck and the entire weapon spun around his head before turning into a necklace in a brief dull flash of silver light. "Showoff." Ghost grumbled before turning to the screen again.

"Heheh. Dosu, you don't look too good." Zaku chuckled as his unnerved teammate came back to him.

"Shut up, damn you…" Dosu growled. "That was no ordinary scythe! I could practically hear it calling for my blood, and if I didn't know any better, I could have sworn that the blood in my arm was being pulled to the blade…"

"S-sorry you lost, Kiba-kun…" Hinata mumbled as her teammate walked back to them.

"It was a very dishonorable thing for him to do… however effective it may have been…" Shino commented while adjusting his glasses.

Kiba sighed. "Don't sweat it guys. I'll just become chūnin next time. It's not like I can't take the Exams again. I just hope he gets his ass handed to him in the third round…"

Kurenai smirked. "And until then, you and Akamaru will still be training from dawn to dusk and thinking about what you did wrong in your fight…"

Kiba pouted. "… damn it."

"So! The fourth match! The contestants are…!" Ghost paused as he looked at the screen, and all the people who had time traveled had trouble holding in their shock as they looked at the pairings.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yay cliffhangers!

Wow. 450 reviews. Nice.

Please do not think that anything that Crypt had said in this chapter was off the top of my head. I was planning WAAAY in advance for Crypt's large bursts of insanity, especially with him interpreting Neji as an Ice cream boy, that was one of my special brain tumor babies right there.

I know some people don't like large fight scenes, but I gotta keep the story consistent, so don't be surprised if the fighting doesn't end by the next chapter. I will try to keep the crazy and interesting things going for as long as I can.

Anyways, Happy New Year, folks! I hope you had great parties to go to.

Well, actually I have a bit of sobering news for once. I found out just after I went to the party I was going to that one of my friends from high school was murdered by her father a few days earlier in an attempted murder-suicide case, so yes, the bastard is still alive for now. I won't go into details, but she did not go in a pleasant way. I didn't know her that well, but I was friends with her. I won't give her name out for privacy reasons, but a moment of silence for her would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Anyways, sorry for the late chapter, but for obvious reasons, it is understandable. I'll start on the next one soon, though it's kind of hard doing it back at home with a dad that doesn't shut up at ALL.

So: Happy New Year, please review, worship the log, and make some decent resolutions. Thank you all and until next time.


	32. Too… many… fight scenes… ugh…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 32: Too… many… fight scenes… ugh…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

I am pissed that we have two weeks of no Shonen Jump, meaning 2 weeks of none of the manga that people actually care about.

Saw the latest Shippuden… snort… hahahahaha! Holy shit! Killer Bee is freaking hilarious! Well done!

Also, more anime fillers are on the way… again, this time involving the 6 tails jinchūriki. Anyone want to place bets on whether or not Naruto FINALLY tells people that he has the Kyūbi sealed in him so that there is finally some story continuity?

o. o. o.

In the fortress of solitude… I mean in that tower place in the Forest of Death:

As everyone looked at the screen, those who had knowledge of the future could only blink and think along the same lines.

_'I like scorpion-walnut pie.'_

Okay, everyone aside from Crypt.

_'Wow… that is so…'_

'… _incredibly…'_

'… _fucking…'_

_'... conveniently…'_

'… _ridiculously…'_

'… _LUCKY!'_

Oboro sneezed. Several times.

Ghost sighed as he turned his head to the two opponents glared at each other. "Will the contestants please come down to the arena for your match?"

Moments later, Gaara had suna-shunshined to the ground floor, glaring at his opponent in a way that was not unlike his old self. His opponent, however, maintained eye contact with Gaara for a few moments before sighing and raising his hand. "I give." Kabuto announced. "I was hoping I would be matched up with someone else, but there's no way I can handle that guy. He gives me a bad feeling…"

"It was very fortunate that those two were paired up…" Scabbard muttered under his breath so only his family could hear him. "We could not trust Kabuto to not deal significant damage to his opponents should he be paired up with someone else, and having him in the third round would be most… troublesome. Gaara was the only person he could be safely paired up against without losing his façade as a loyal genin while ensuring that he didn't advance to the finals. Anyone else that could fight him right now would arouse further suspicion from Orochimaru or potentially push Kabuto to cause unnecessary injuries…"

Shadow nodded barely. "… it also is fortunate in that Gaara is actually less bloodthirsty than he once was. He himself would raise suspicion if he did not act as he used to, which in many other matches would prove to be disastrous due to the potential of several of the brats here."

"Not that I doubt that he would prove to be a bit… uncontrolled if he actually did fight Kabuto right now…"

"Seriously?!" Ino shouted, causing the rest of her team to flinch. "And you call yourself a Konoha shinobi?! You coward! It's no wonder you umph!" The blonde's tirade was interrupted as Asuma once again muzzled the girl with one of his large hands.

"Sorry about that." The chain-smoker chuckled nervously. "She does that sometimes…"

Kabuto laughed nervously as Gaara's frown deepened at the thought that he would not to fight anyone. "Sorry guys, I would have fought anyone else, but that guy is seriously giving me some bad vibes. I don't know if I would survive a fight against him…"

 _'You wouldn't.'_ Were the collective thoughts of those who knew what Gaara was capable of.

Ghost shrugged. "Sure. No skin off my back if you decide to pussy out. Winner of the fourth match by forfeit is Gaara of the Desert… Gaara, you can go back to your team now."

"Humph." Gaara growled as he went back up the same way he went down. His sensei and his siblings made sure not to say anything to their clearly disappointed and irritated brother lest they become the outlet to his wrath. The boy could definitely act… although that doesn't say much, considering his personality had changed very little over the years from certain perspectives.

"Next Match!" Ghost shouted as he regained everyone's attention once again as he looked at the screen. "Sakura Haruno Vs. Kagari…? Um… Kagari, your last name isn't here…"

Oboro chuckled as he turned to his partner. "Lucky! That is the bitch that knocked me out with that sleeping genjutsu. Teach her a lesson as a message to the blonde…"

The Ame genin with both of his eyes covered snorted as he jumped down from the railings. "We prefer not to divulge our family's names in Ame…"

Ghost shrugged as he turned to see Sakura walking down the stairs. "Oi Sakura! You gonna pussy out like Kabuto did?" Said spy's eyebrow twitched at the statement.

Sakura snorted as she approached her opponent. "Yeah, right. Sasuke-kun and Naruto would never let me live it down if I simply gave up now, let alone you. I'd rather take my chances with this guy."

Ghost pouted. "Oh poo, you took the safe option…" Everyone in the room sweat dropped. "Oh well. You both ready to kick each other's ass?"

Kagari laughed. "There's not much ass to kick on this one…"

"He's a dead man…" Naruto stated while sweating profusely.

"Oh yeah…" Sasuke agreed, also sweating a fair amount.

"Bring it on." Sakura growled with the afterimage of a demon behind her.

"FIGHT!" Ghost called out as Sakura immediately whipped out several kunai and shuriken at her opponent. Kagari dodged the attacks, but did not expect Sakura to be throwing her weapons at varying speeds and managed to get nicked several times before managing to finish some seals.

"Mist Servant Technique…" He chuckled as black copies of himself started to pull themselves out of the ground, causing Sakura to frown a bit as she looked around her. The 17 year old started to form another few hand signs, but he was interrupted as Sakura threw another handful of shuriken at him causing him to falter and clumsily dodge only half the projectiles. "What?! But how…?"

Sakura snorted as she walked through several of the black clones without so much as batting an eyelash. "Are these the best illusions you have? Honestly, how did you make it this far into the exams?" Sakura grinned as she started to slowly form some seals of her own. "Let me show you how it's really done…"

"Go forehead!" Ino shouted.

"It's one thing to detect a genjutsu like that and dispel it…" Sarutobi mused as he observed the match. "But to go through the fight with the illusion still up and completely ignore it like that… she shows some real promise, that one. Kurenai and Kakashi must be proud…"

Kagari snarled as he yanked out one of the shuriken from his arms and started to rapidly form some more seals. "You bitch! Let's see how good you are when you aren't dealing against illusions! Haze Clone Technique!"

Sakura faltered as she saw several normal looking clones appear where the black blobs once were. "These aren't illusions…" She mumbled as she threw a shuriken at one of the clones. The flying metal weapon flew through the clones. "… they can't be dissipated either like a normal clone… damn…"

"Heheheh… what are you going to do girl?" Kagari chuckled from seemingly nowhere as he watched from underground with his Underground Projection Fish Technique. "I could be anywhere near you right now…"

Sakura sighed as looked at the various clones around her. "You know, to be perfectly honest, this probably would have worked on me if I wasn't used to this kind of situation already… and knowing that your clones are simply vague illusions…" Sakura smirked as she walked forward to the nearest clone and stuck her hand into it, who was giving her a curious look, before it dispelled, shocking all the clones and her opponent, as well as some of the jōnin in the room.

"WHAT?!" Kagari shouted. "How did you do that?!"

"Interesting…" Kurenai mused. "I knew she was progressing in her analytical skills and her chakra control… but to this extent? Not many people would think of trying to dispel a technique like this from the inside…"

Sakura smirked as she forced another clone out of existence. "These clones of yours are just barely considered ninjutsu. To be honest, they're really more like genjutsu, like a standard clone. The only real difference is that all the chakra is focused on themselves, so all I have to do is manually dispel them from the inside in order to make them go away…" She then turned around and dashed through a small crowd of the clones using chakra in her feet to make her move faster, dispelling them all very quickly. "To be honest… these are child's play compared to fighting an army of shadow clones… so even if you ARE mixed in with these illusions, you won't tire me out so easily…"

"For the last time I'M SORRY!" Naruto shouted, causing those who know him to deadpan at him. "…but I had to make sure that you were prepared to fight large groups at a time! I still don't know why you are stuck on that vow of revenge!"

Sakura glared at her blonde teammate as she dispelled another group of clones. "I wouldn't be if you weren't busy taunting me and reading my diary in front of Sasuke-kun!"

Naruto started to sweat as he felt the eyes of almost every woman in the room glaring holes at him. "Oh come on! I skipped the embarrassing entries!"

"You mean the ones about having our wedding in Wave country with puppies in pink tuxedos frolicking in a distant meadow of cotton candy trees weren't the embarrassing ones?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow, somewhat scared to think of the ones that Naruto were referring to.

"No, they weren't." Naruto replied bluntly as everyone listening was trying to keep their laughter in check.

"You know that Sakura is going to kill you for saying all that aloud in public, right?" Kakashi sighed as he let his shoulders droop.

Naruto shook his head as he took out a contract. "As long as I help her get a date with the brooder, all subsequent beatings to death are reduced to severe mauling status for the next six months…"

"That's an impressive contra… wait WHAT?!" Sasuke roared as he stopped reading the organized looking document and proceeded to throttle Naruto.

"Keep him alive, Sasuke-kun! I want to maim him next!" Ino shouted from across the room while pulling out a poisoned kunai.

 _'Tch. I can't make many more clones before I run out of chakra while keeping up my earth technique. This strategy is much easier when there are more people with you to help produce and maintain a decent number of clones. Doing it by yourself, on the other hand, is a bit taxing.'_ Kagari pondered as Sakura tore through his forces with incredible ease. ' _I guess I'll have to use that technique…'_ Slowly popping out of the ground while creating a few more clones, Kagari formed a few more seals. "Water Style: Black Clouds Technique…" He muttered before dropping an explosive tag on the ground and sinking back onto the ground. Moments later a black cloud hovered over Sakura's head and started to rain black water on her.

Sakura frowned as she did a quick assessment of her situation. Her chakra wasn't becoming erratic, and from a quick self-diagnostic she could tell that it wasn't poison. Then she saw the exploding tag a few meters away from her and she instantly knew what she was covered in. "Shi-!"

BOOM! The tag went off, causing the oil covering the arena floor to go up in flames, including Sakura. The observers of the match leaned over the rails to see what had happened to the girl's body as the flames soon dissipated due to the weak concentration of the oil, revealing a charred heap with some burnt hair near the head was where Sakura once stood.

"Sakura!" Ino, Naruto, and Sasuke shouted as Kagari phased through the ground near the girl's body and stood up triumphantly.

"Heheh. The girl is finished ref." The Ame-nin claimed confidently to an expressionless Ghost. "Call the match and she might just live…"

"That's a little overconfident of you, wouldn't you say?" Growled a very pissed Sakura from behind Kagari as she melted into view from out of thin air with a kunai at his back and under his chin. The girl was slightly burnt, and a good portion of her once clean pink hair was charred. "If I weren't such a nice person, I would kill you right now for what you've done to my hair…"

"WHAT!" All three of the Ame-nin shouted in disbelief as the Konoha genin roared in victory as they all watched the fake corpse of Sakura fade out of sight.

"Demonic Illusion: False Surroundings Technique…" Kurenai smirked as she gained everyone's attention. "Sakura pulled it off when she was first started the fight. The thing was, even though she made an illusion, she didn't really project anything until she started dispelling those mist clones and made it look like there were more than there really were after a certain point…"

Shino nodded in comprehension. "I understand now… then when her opponent rose out to do that new technique while still believing he was hidden, Sakura found out what he was doing and where he was hiding…"

Kurenai smiled. "Good, Shino. Then when he used that water technique, Sakura managed to jump up onto the ceiling just in time to avoid a majority of the damage before using her illusion to create a copy of her body on the ground to lure out her opponent. Then all she had to do was create a small stealth illusion to hide herself as she got behind him and that leaves us where we are now… I must say that I am impressed she held the technique up for so long while still dispelling all those illusions and clones. It is not something many people can do efficiently, let alone in the middle of a fight…"

"Very impressive indeed…" Sarutobi mused to himself as many of the unrelated shinobi with him nodded in an approving manner. "She used a single illusion to such efficiency and in the meantime applied her knowledge in ninjutsu and taijutsu to distract and rout her well-hidden opponent. She is a very promising candidate… probably more so than any of the others so far from what we have seen today…"

"So are you going to give up, or am I going to have to win by other means?" Sakura growled as she dug one of her kunai into her opponent's back.

Kagari growled. "I… give."

Ghost smirked as Sakura removed her sharp implements. "Winner of the 5th match, Sakura Haruno!"

Sakura let out a low breath before collapsing onto the ground. She may have escaped the brunt of the explosion, but she was still hit pretty hard by the shockwave of the tag, and she had to hack off a decent portion of her hair due to the fact that it caught on fire in the explosion.

"A very impressive display…" Waltz grumbled as he started to heal Sakura's randomly assorted burns and cuts. "You have a very calm head on those shoulders…"

"She planned ahead…" Shadow muttered as Waltz helped the girl up on her feet again. "… She knew that her opponent would not reveal his position until he believed he had won, and set it up so that she could make him believe it at the right time regardless of what he did with her illusions…" Shadow smiled as she closed and re-opened her eyes again. "She's pretty damn good for a preteen, if I say so myself…"

Ghost nodded as Waltz helped Sakura up the stairs and the uninjured Kagari slumped back up to his team, who were both glaring at him in a disappointed manner. "The Sixth match!" Ghost shouted as everyone got situated in their place and looked at the screen as it shuffled the names before it stopped. "Ino Yamanaka Vs. Misumi Tsurugi!"

Shikamaru momentarily frowned as he looked at his teammate. He knew from before that Misumi was a spy for Orochimaru, but he also knew that with Ino's current skill set she would have a decent counter and advantage in the fight. Still, it wouldn't hurt to give her a bit of advice. "Hey Ino…" Shikamaru whispered just before Ino made her way to the ground floor. "… I think it would be best if you went ranged first, just in case…"

Ino blinked for a moment before pouting and knocking Shikamaru on top of his head. "Stop babying me, Shika! I can take care of myself!" Ino stomped off as Shikamaru rubbed the back of his head.

"You're welcome…" Shikamaru grumbled.

 _'She calls him by a nickname too? How close are they?'_ Temari pondered, not knowing that she was developing a small case of jealousy as Ino stepped in front of Misumi. All she knew was that she would not mind if Ino was horrendously beaten for some odd reason.

Ghost looked at Misumi. "Dude, how old are you? I mean, you look like you're my age…"

Misumi growled. "I'm 23…"

Ghost nodded. "All right, since both of you look ready to kill each other, let's get this started. Ino Yamanaka, AKA Mitarashi Anko version 2.0 Vs. Misumi Tsurugi AKA the old guy in these Exams, FIGHT!"

Ino wasted no time jumping back and throwing an unprecedented number of kunai and shuriken at her opponent, who unfortunately was trying his hardest to get in close to said blonde girl. "Sorry specks, I'm not your type." Ino taunted as some senbon left her hand, causing the overconfident genin to block with a kunai instead of dodge. Several of the senbon were deflected, but one managed to nick Misumi's arm. Ino smirked.

Misumi growled as he charged at Ino again. "Why would I want a flat board like you, brat?"

Ino's eyebrow twitched as she placed her hands over her heart in a familiar seal. "You obviously have never had a girlfriend before." She growled as Misumi froze in his tracks.

"Wh-what?! What's wrong with m-my body?!" Misumi shouted as his body clumsily stumbled forward and picked up one of the kunai that Ino had thrown earlier.

"Hidden Art: Mind Body Disturbance Technique…" Ino muttered as she focused on her opponent. "It basically forces your body to betray itself and attack its allies. What I'm doing is pushing the envelope a bit and making it injure itself…" She frowned as Misumi's body swung at his leg, but only barely grazed it. "… but as you can see, causing self-injuries is a bit more difficult to do…"

"You bitch!" Misumi growled as he attempted to resist Ino's control as he continued to sloppily scratch himself. "I will not lose like THIS!" He roared, jolting his body and apparently causing Ino to get a bad feedback from the sudden loss of her technique. Misumi wasted no time as he immediately shot forward and thrust his empty hand towards Ino's neck, grabbing the poor girl and slowly choking her as he walked forward. "Surprised? I have modified my body so that I can fit into any space for spying purposes." He started to stretch his other hand to Ino. "Give up, or I'll break your neck… what?"

Ino smirked as she held Misumi's twitching hands in her own with little trouble at all and pulled them away from her neck. "You know, women like men who are stiff, not these floppy sacks of flesh…" Ino taunted as Misumi's breathing started to grow haggard. "Aww, are you having trouble breathing, old man?" She laughed as Misumi blinked through the sweat coming down his forehead.

"Poi-poison?" He rasped out haggardly.

Ino nodded cheerfully. "Yep! All my nice shiny pointies are covered in a special paralysis blend. Anko-sensei says I'm not ready yet for the more lethal mixtures, but this brand works quite well and fast if you ask me, so it'll do for now…"

"A-and th-that Yamanaka technique… the s-senbon had already h-hit me…"

Ino shrugged. "It was really to get more poison in your system and to make your heart spread what poison you already had in your system faster. You would be surprised how fast a person's heart beats when they aren't in control of their body…"

"Damn… you." Misumi growled before he passed out due to the poison.

Ghost checked up on the man before standing up. "Misumi is unable to battle. The winner of the match is Ino Yamanaka!"

"An interesting application of her family techniques…" Sarutobi mused to Anko. "However, I am more interested in that poison she was using. It worked rather quickly and was quite efficient compared to most of our standard poisons…"

Anko smirked. "What can I say? The girl is a natural when it comes to poisons. It must come with managing that flower shop for all those years. The kid knows her poisonous and medicinal plants better than most of the medic corps. Hana says that she's done pretty well with her medic-nin training as well. I'm thinking of introducing her to some of the guys that work at the hospital and at the I.T. department soon…"

Sarutobi sweat dropped. "One step at a time, Anko. We don't want the poor girl to break down from overexposure to some of the darker sides of shinobi life. I'm already getting complaints from my son and his team saying that Ino has been a bit more… proactive lately in several fields. I do not need to remind you that we are talking about Inoichi's child here, do I?"

Anko pouted. "Yeah, yeah. I'll lay off the crazy on the kid…"

"That was an interesting technique…" Waltz mused as he walked back to his siblings. "Direct influence on a body's movements without any physical remnants… it is in many ways awfully familiar to… his techniques…"

Shadow shivered as she registered what Waltz was insinuating. "Oh god, please don't talk about that sicko. It was bad enough that I nearly fell for his fake charms when I was a noobie, but throw in the fact that he was as strong as we are and that horrible control freak personality of his and we have another classic case of overpowered asshole that needs to go down…"

"… You're just disappointed that your fighting style was weak against his… everyone's is aside from Waltz's and Ghost's." Scabbard stated bluntly. As he looked at the screen. "The next match is up…"

"Shino Aburame Vs. Yoroi Akadō." Ghost announced as the contestants made their way to the arena.

"Good luck Shino…" Hinata called out.

Kiba snorted. "Shino doesn't need luck, Hinata. You know better than I do that that guy is scary… almost as much as you are…"

Hinata pouted as she retracted into her coat. "I'm not scary…"

Shadow snorted. "A battle between suckers…"

Naruto raised an eyebrow as he got a good look at Shino on the arena floor and saw something on his arms. "Hey Kakashi-sensei… those bracers on Shino's arms…"

Sakura blinked as she looked at Shino's arms and saw the gauntlets. Two wide round containers encased the Aburame's forearms and were connected to gloves that had metal studs around Shino's knuckles. "Hey, yeah, they do look familiar… but from where…"

"Those are the gauntlets from the Demon Brothers…" Sasuke stated for his teammates, getting looks from them. "They look modified, though… the claws are missing and the areas around the wrists have more holes in them…"

"Oh? You guys didn't know?" Tenten asked as she heard Sasuke talk about the gauntlets. "After you guys came back from wave, Ghost-sensei came in with Shino-kun and asked me to modify those amazing gauntlets for Shino-kun."

Naruto blinked. "What do they do, Tenten?"

Tenten smirked as she looked down at the arena floor. "Wait and see…"

"Are both of you guys ready?" Ghost asked curiously. Both the combatants nodded slowly. "All right, then. Shino Aburame AKA the other emotionless kid here Vs. Yoroi Akadō AKA the other old guy in the Exams…" Everyone sweat dropped as they saw the combatants twitch in annoyance, probably wondering if they should team up to maul Ghost instead of each other. "FIGHT!"

Yoroi wasted no time as he whipped out several shuriken and flung them at his opponent. Shino in turn dodged the pieces of metal, only to find them a distraction as Yoroi approached him rapidly with a glowing blue hand aimed at his head. Shino frowned as he blocked the oncoming hand with one of his gauntlets and countered with a punch of his own that connected with the elder's side. Yoroi stumbled for a moment, which gave Shino enough time to back up and create some distance.

"Well, that was fast…" Kiba snorted as the rest of Team 8 nodded, gaining Kabuto's attention.

"What do you mean by that? My teammate only took a single punch and he looks perfectly fine. Don't you think that you are underestimating him a bit much?" Kabuto asked curiously.

Kiba gave the spy a feral grin. "Just watch and you might find out…"

"Your taijutsu isn't half bad, brat." Yoroi muttered as he steadied himself again. "But let's see how good you are at grappling…" He ran forward again, only this time Shino decided to let loose his kikaichū (destruction bugs) from his body into a giant cloud between the two, causing Yoroi to freeze in his steps and retreat just before he ran into his defeat. "What? Bugs?!"

"My insects can absorb chakra from anyone they wish…" Shino mused as he walked through the cloud. "… and they can consume a jōnin's worth of chakra within less than a minute. I suggest you forfeit. You are at a disadvantage at both close and long range. You will not win."

Yoroi grumbled as his breathing grew more haggard as he charged at a surprised Shino, who was not expecting his opponent to blindly rush into his insect cloud. This resulted in Yoroi getting his hand on Shino's head and laughing in success. "Funny thing is, brat, I can absorb chakra as well through my hands. I guess this means it's a race right now to see who can drain who first… although I gotta warn you that any chakra I absorb from you gets added to my pools…"

Shino was silent as his insects converged on his opponent before he spoke again. "… indeed, this fight would have become a bit of a race had we both started off at full capacity…" Shino then grabbed a surprised Yoroi's hand on his head and pulled it off of him with relative ease. "… however, I do not take such unnecessary risks."

"WHAT?!" Yoroi shouted as his breathing became even more labored and he realized that his chakra levels were far below what they should have been. "You were already draining…me. But… how?" The man stuttered as he started to lose consciousness.

"It was when Shino countered him…" Sasuke stated with his Sharingan activated, gaining the attention of the people near him. "It was hard to see, but his chakra flared in his arms and a bunch of his bugs flew out of the gauntlet he was wearing and latched themselves onto Yoroi. Shino's been playing him the entire time…"

Tenten smirked. "I hear that the Aburame don't learn many jutsu outside their clan techniques due to their dependence on their insects. They gotta keep a fair amount of chakra in their body or else their little buddies go nuts, so only minor techniques are allowed outside their clan's personal list. Ghost-sensei knew about this and so he decided to give Shino an upgrade. Those gauntlets are modified to link to his arms so that his insects can travel in them, and there's a chamber in the front so that Shino can literally blast his insects through the holes around his wrist with a small flare of chakra that will do almost nothing to his pools. The result is that Shino can cover an opponent with his insects with a few punches and they won't be the wiser. It's quite ingenious, if I do say so myself…"

Naruto frowned. "But why go through all the trouble of modifying the gauntlets when he can just sic his insects on his opponents or just wear big sleeves?"

Kakashi shook his head. "Kikaichū are still insects, Naruto, and thus have a limited top speed. They can only move so fast, and even then there is no guarantee that Shino can get them moving in time to latch onto his opponents before they notice, especially if the time frame is the duration of punch connecting with a person's body…" Kakashi looked back down at the arena floor where he saw Shino knock out Yoroi with a solid punch to the head. ' _Still, for an Aburame to specialize in taijutsu and yet have such an efficient way of combining his insects and taijutsu into such a style is quite unheard of. I've heard that despite common belief, the best way to take down an Aburame is either lots of fire style techniques, or to rush in and use taijutsu to finish things quickly due to the clan's tendency to only focus on their insects. For Shino to eliminate one of his more glaring weaknesses so early on means that Shino will be quite a promising shinobi as his skills develop in both fields…'_

Crypt laughed to himself. "Heheheheh… sucker… heheheh… bugs… heheheh… pants…"

"The winner of the 7th match by KO is Shino Aburame!" Ghost called out as Hana went to heal Yoroi, who was suffering from chakra depletion.

"All right Shino!" Kiba shouted as Shino made his way back to his team. "Way to kick ass, buddy!" Shino nodded in thanks as he turned to the arena floor.

Ghost smirked. ' _Shikamaru, Hinata, and Naruto are still undecided… Lee's still up in the air as well. If any of those four gets paired up with each other now… oh man, better not think about that.'_ "Okay! The next match will be…" Ghost turns to the screen apprehensively before mentally breathing out in relief. "Shikamaru Nara VS. Kin Tsuchi!"

Shikamaru sighed to himself. "Troublesome… another girl…"

Ino grew a tick mark. "Stop complaining already, you lazy bastard, and get your ass down there already!"

Dosu snorted. "This guy should be pretty easy, Kin. Make it 2 for 2 and show these weaklings why the sound should be feared…"

Kin sighed as she walked down the stairs. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Dosu. I'll take down this lame ass idiot easily…" For all her bravado, Kin was more nervous than she was letting on after watching all the fights. Honestly, she was scared shitless. These Konoha rookies were absolute MONSTERS! It was only by pure chance that Dosu managed to pull off that win in her opinion. Luckily, she managed to get the weakest looking rookie out of the batch… but she would still not take any chances. After all, that fat tub of lard surprised everyone with that combination technique of his, and she had no doubt that 'til then, everyone had assumed that he was one of the weakest genin in the room.

Temari mentally scoffed as she watched Shikamaru's opponent walk down the stairs. This girl didn't know what she was in for… well, technically she didn't know what Kin was in for either, but she knew that Shikamaru had something up his sleeve as… he was thrown over the… railing by Ino… maybe she was overestimating the Nara a bit?

"Troublesome girls, troublesome blondes, troublesome time traveling, troublesome concussions…" Shikamaru grumbled as he dislodged his head from the ground and dusted himself off before walking into position across from his opponent with a bored, yet somewhat irritated look on his face.

Ghost mentally smirked as he saw the giant multitude of wheels spinning in Shikamaru's mind. While he doesn't like to brag about it, or even show it for that matter, Ghost's IQ was actually nothing to sneeze at, slowly growing over the thousands of years he's lived. For Shikamaru to have STILL constantly defeated him in shōgi and other board games showed that the boy in front of him was truly an oddity amongst humanity, one that had an extremely high amount of potential. The only reason why Ghost didn't act as smart as he was was pretty much the same reason why Shikamaru didn't. They either didn't want to or feel like it.

Kin didn't even have a chance.

"Are both of you ready to kill each other?" Ghost asked the pair, who both nodded in their own way. "Right! Shikamaru Nara, AKA Lazy incarnate Vs. Kin Tsuchi, AKA the only person in this room that has longer hair than me. FIGHT!"

Kin started right off the bat by throwing several senbon at Shikamaru before he even had a chance to move. Shikamaru dodged effortlessly as he saw the bells on the needles fly past him. "That old trick? Please tell me you have something better up your sleeves…" Shikamaru grumbled as he threw several of his own kunai at the girl, causing her to jump back a bit.

Kin smirked as she channeled her chakra through the near invisible wires and started her genjutsu while still firing off several more senbon to keep the Nara off guard. Soon enough, Shikamaru stumbled and was hit in the shoulder and arm by a couple of senbon. "What?!" He groaned as he grabbed his head and looked at the needles in the wall with the bells connected to them.

"You like my bells, brat?" Kin smirked as she took out some more senbon. "They weren't meant to distract you, they were meant for putting you under my control. I must say, compared to your peers, you are rather…" She tried to move her arm back in order to finish the match quickly, but froze in surprise as she couldn't move her body.

"Boring… is the word that comes to my mind…" Shikamaru sighed as he picked himself up and took the senbon out of his body, to the surprise of those who didn't know what the boy was capable of. "Troublesome… why do women always have to do these kinds of things to me…" He grumbled.

"What?! How?!" Kin shouted as she mimicked Shikamaru's movements.

Shikamaru sighed. "Shadow Imitation Technique… It pretty much means you do whatever I do once your shadow connects with mine." He looked down, forcing Kin to do the same as they saw the shadow underneath the wires widen between the two and get fatter. "I can manipulate a shadow into any shape and form I want as long as it's connected to mine. I noticed the wires when the genjutsu first started… honestly, how could you miss that? Wires don't cast shadows from that height…" The Nara stretched his neck and yawned as he reached in his shuriken pouch and withdrew one of the deadly projectiles, prompting Kin to do the same.

"Wh-what are you doing?!" Kin shouted as they both drew their arms back to throw the shuriken.

"I'm just testing to see who has the higher tolerance for pain…" Shikamaru smirked as he, and hence Kin, let their shuriken fly. Kin sweat bullets as she saw the shuriken go for her head in slow motion.

Then she saw Shikamaru bending back. "Hah! I knew you were all…" Thump. Kin head butted the wall behind her hard and knocked herself out cold.

Shikamaru grinned as he righted himself up again. "You know, it's standard shinobi procedure to be aware of everything around you. To be taken out by a wall of all things…"

"Oi! Don't make fun of the wall!" Crypt shouted. "He's very sensitive since he can never be as good as the floor…" He whispered.

"Right…" Ghost sighed as he shook his head. "Winner by knock out, Shikamaru Nara!"

"Humph…" Kankurō snorted as he watched Shikamaru walk back to his team while yawning. "I don't see what was so special about that guy. He used a mediocre move to beat his mediocre opponent. It was pretty boring if you ask me…"

"No…" Gaara interrupted before Temari could say anything. "If anything, he is more dangerous than we think. All the rookie Konoha genin have shown a wide variety of skills and techniques so far, yet that one only used one lack luster technique and a wall to defeat his opponent with only a few minor injuries. He is efficient and is careful not to show what he can really do to his potential opponents… you were right to be wary of him, Temari…" Gaara narrowed his eyes as he watched Ino heal Shikamaru. He had heard about Shikamaru's incredible intelligence before, but now that he was actually paying attention to the boy, Gaara could tell how much of a power player Shikamaru really was.

Zaku snorted as he and Dosu watched Kin get carted off to the medical facility. Apparently she suffered a minor concussion and would have to rest regardless of whatever healing she underwent. "Huh. Great. She gets one of the easiest people to go up against and she makes us look like total weaklings. Why did we have her in our team again?"

Dosu sighed. "Because she was apparently the best at using projectiles and genjutsu in our age group that were not part of the honorary guard… forget about her. She lost, and will be dealt with in time… make sure that you don't do the same…"

"Next match!" Ghost called out as he looked at the screen. "Hinata Hyūga Vs. Mubi… just Mubi apparently… so I'm guessing it's another guy from Ame? What is it with you guys anyways? I mean seriously, your outfits make you guys look like you just escaped from an insane asylum… and let me tell you, I KNOW what those kinds of people look like." He stated as he pointed to Crypt, who was still swaying upside down without a care in the world.

"I know who the muffin man REALLY is, but I'm not telling…" Said accomplished escapee taunted.

The Ame genin with one eye showing grumbled at the referee's complaints about his team's choice of attire and lack of last names.

"Go Hinata-chan!" Naruto called out, making Hinata blush a little as she walked to the arena.

Hinata breathed out slowly as she walked down the stairs. This was her moment to shine, to show everyone what she was made of and to prove to herself that she was not weak. She would fight honorably, she would fight with her head held high, she would… she saw her opponent look at her lecherously as he chuckled confidently.

She would end this fast and painfully.

Lee started to cry. "Gai-sensei… I want to fight, but the un-youthful board won't let me… sniff… at this rate, I will fight last…"

Gai patted Lee on the back. "Don't worry, Lee! There are still plenty of youthful opponents left for you to fight against!"

Naruto paled as he heard Gai's statement and did a quick mental check of who was left in the preliminaries. Tenten, Lee, Kankurō, that annoying guy from Sound: Zaku, that other annoying guy from Ame: Oboro… and himself. Naruto wasted no time clapping his hands together and praying to the Log. ' _Please not Lee, Please not Lee, Please not Lee, PLEASE NOT LEE!'_

Gai broke out of his youthful hug with Lee and looked around. "Come to think of it, Tenten has not had her fight as well… where is she?"

"Please?" A familiar female voice whined.

"No." Responded a deep gruff voice.

"Just a touch?"

"I said no little one…"

"But it's soooo big…" The female voice stated seductively.

"You do realize I'm easily old enough to be your great-grandfather, right?" The old man stated in a somewhat nervous fashion.

"RUN YOU OLD BASTARD! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! THAT GIRL WILL NOT LEAVE YOU ALONE!" Zabuza yelled hysterically to Waltz as the old man started to back away slowly from a glowing eyed and drooling Tenten.

"I WILL NOT BE DENIED!" Tenten roared as she lunged at Waltz hungrily. Waltz sidestepped the girl and maneuvered around her expertly before pinning the girl down underneath his huge frame and tying her limbs together with a rope that he took out from his robes.

The old man got back up and saw everyone staring at him curiously. "What? How do you think we deal with Crypt and Shadow in public without scaring people away?"

Everyone in the room sweat dropped and nodded in silent agreement as Ghost cleared his throat. "Okay. Now that you have all seen how Waltz deals with most erratic family matters in public, we can start the next match…"

"JUST LET ME TASTE IT!" Tenten begged as she struggled against her bonds.

"What is your malfunction, child?!" Waltz asked with an equal amount of fear and curiosity.

"I like her." Shadow laughed in an amused manner.

"I think I just found my next apprentice…" Anko giggled happily.

"Right…" Ghost sweat dropped. "Let's get this started before we get any more distracted. Hinata Hyūga, AKA, the only female Konoha rookie that has hit puberty so far, (Ino and Sakura quickly looked at themselves, then at Hinata. The pair then each curled up into a ball and started grumbling about how they were still pretty) VS. Mubi AKA, Asylum escapee number 2. FIGHT!"

Hinata wasted no time activating her Byakugan and quickly charging at her opponent as said opponent attempted to take out some shuriken to deter his increasingly frightening opponent. "Too slow…" Hinata mumbled as a familiar pattern appeared below her and just barely dodged the shuriken. "8 Trigrams: 32 Palms!" Hinata declared as she practically teleported in front of her surprised opponent and started to rapidly strike him in the various tenketsu over his body. "2 palms! 4 palms! 8 palms! 16 palms! 32 PALMS!" She roared as her opponent took on more and more damage till she stopped and he dropped like a rock.

Ghost shook his head and stretched his body, ignoring the reactions of several of the people around him. "Huh? What happened? I blinked and it was over…"

"Fast…" Sarutobi gaped as several of the ninja near him nodded in silent agreement.

"Um. Okay. Since Mubi decided to take a nap for some reason, Hinata Hyūga wins!" Ghost announced, completely ignoring the fact that almost everyone in the room was looking at him like an idiot. Hana moved in to heal the downed boy while Hinata nervously ran back to her team.

"Holy crap!" Kankurō said out loud as he tried to wrap his head around how fast that last match went. "That shy little girl took that guy out THAT fast?! I sure as hell don't want to fight her later…"

"She has the same eyes as that guy who fought the Uchiha in the first match…" Temari mused. "Odds are it's some kind of bloodline limit. Remember how he did some serious damage to his opponent just by dealing some glancing blows? I seriously wonder who is stronger between the two…"

"You know, I could just walk around and…" Kankurō started to suggest before Ghost spoke up again.

"Tenten Higurashi Vs. Kankurō of the Desert!" Ghost read aloud as he looked at the screen.

Temari sighed. "Do it later. You have a match to win."

"YES! Now it is Tenten's turn to display her flames of youth!" Lee shouted excitedly.

"He called your name, girl! Please leave me be now!" Waltz called out from the ceiling as he attempted to whack an untied Tenten away with his staff.

Ghost blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Waltz? How the hell did she get out of the ropes? That stuff was made to hold down Shadow and Crypt, for crying out loud!"

Waltz started to cry as Tenten pouted and made her way to the arena floor. "I don't know!"

"I REAALLY like her…" Shadow laughed evilly.

"Oh god…" Neji muttered as his eyebrows twitched. "They've gotten to Tenten. I have to beg Hokage-sama to turn me into a chūnin soon and get me out of the team soon, or else I will break next…"

"I'll get you next time, old man." Tenten grumbled as she got into her position with the several dozen storage scrolls on her belt near her hands and glared at Kankurō.

Kankurō grumbled as he shifted the wrapped package on his back. "Great, I get matched up with one of the crazies. God, I hate this village."

"You brats ready?" Ghost asked the pair. He got a short nod from each of them in response.

Ghost sighed as the two teens stared each other down. Things were going to get a bit hairy if the next couple of matches would end up as he thought they were going to. "So. Kankurō of the Desert, AKA Kitty Geisha Boy (Temari let out a snort of laughter despite her best efforts to hold it in) Vs. Tenten Higurashi, AKA Lady Stab-A-Lot. FIGHT!"

Tenten wasted no time grabbing one of the scrolls on her belt and unraveling it around her with her chakra in order to unseal the salvo of weapons inside. Instantly, she unleashed a flurry of custom made kunai with odd markings on the side at Kankurō, who managed to dodge all the blades in time…

BOOM! Each kunai thrown exploded with incredible force, throwing the surprised boy and his package in two separate directions. Tenten didn't waste any time as she threw a few more kunai at the package, but didn't blow them up as she ran to Kankurō. "Uuuuughh." Kankurō groaned as he grabbed his head. "What the hell hit me? There weren't any exploding tags on those kunai…"

He paused as Tenten appeared with one of her blades underneath his chin. "I make my own weapons, and those kunai were specially made with high level exploding seals engraved into the metal. It's actually quite high in demand at my shop…" She grinned sadistically before frowning again. "Surrender, or else…"

Kankurō paused before smirking. "I refuse."

Tenten's scowl deepened as she plunged her blade into the boy's chest, apparently knocking him out due to the pain. "I managed to avoid any vitals, but he can still die if he doesn't get any treatment soo-" Tenten's warning was cut short as 'Kankurō' jumped up and bear hugged the girl, clacking in an inhumane way the entire time. Tenten's eyes widened as the boy's burnt face started to fall apart to show another, inhuman one underneath.

"I gotta give you props, girl." The bundle spoke as it unraveled itself, revealing the real Kankurō. "You earned some points for actually going through and stabbing Crow there. Too bad it isn't going to win you the match…" The puppeteer grinned as he flexed his hands, causing Crow to start crushing Tenten.

"A puppeteer… I should have known…" Tenten groaned as she felt her bones creak in protest before painfully chuckling and catching Kankurō's attention. "You know you were right, makeup boy… stabbing your doll won't win me the match…" She started to focus her chakra to the kunai surrounding the unsuspecting Kankurō. "…But this will…" She grinned darkly.

"Kankurō! Run!" Temari shouted as she realized what Tenten was about to do.

"Wha-?" Kankurō intelligently started to ask before the kunai surrounding him blew up with incredible intensity.

Tenten smirked as the puppet fell off her limply before she jumped away from it and readied her scroll of exploding kunai again. "You honestly think that I would just ignore a man-sized package like that and go for what seems like the real ninja? What kind of fool do you take me for?"

"One that gets turned on by the thoughts of well-made weapons and other shinys?" Crypt asked curiously.

The room was silent as everyone registered the fact that Crypt had actually said something correct for once.

"He does that occasionally…" Waltz sighed. "Please continue…"

"Erm… right." Tenten faltered before moving to the burnt Kankurō and taking out another blade. "So, let's try this again, shall we?" She held it underneath Kankurō's chin. "Give up, or you get a new hole in you."

Kankurō frowned as he attempted to breathe normally. His body was shot and even if he could reconnect his strings to Crow, Tenten would gut him before he could pull anything decent off. ' _Oh well, Gaara and Temari managed to get into the third round anyways, so the plan will still go off without a hitch.'_ "Damn (cough) it. I surrender…"

Ghost nodded as he motioned for several medics to come to Kankurō. "Winner by surrender. Tenten Higurashi!"

"Yes, Tenten!" Lee cheered out loudly. "Your flames of youth were amazingly huge today! Congratulations!"

"Idiot didn't bother to look around him…" Growled Temari. "… and he got himself blown up for such a rookie mistake…"

"He was careless…" Gaara droned as he watched his brother get carted away so the medics could remove the shrapnel and burns from his body. "We will simply have to… fix… that habit of his later…"

Temari shivered as she contemplated what Gaara truly meant by that statement as she looked at the screen. If she remembered correctly, there were 4 contestants left: the blonde idiot, the loud mouthed idiot from Sound, the creepy guy who appeared to be the leader from Ame, and that poor sad unfortunate boy who was dressed in green spandex and looked like his equally poor and sad sensei. Looking around, she saw the mini clone pouting with his arms crossed and looking away from the screen, the Sound idiot tapping his feet impatiently, the Ame genin doing much the same thing… and the blonde idiot praying his heart out for some reason… probably for an easy win. What a wuss.

The blonde girl sighed before seeing Shikamaru's team lounging about near her team. Thinking for about two seconds, she decided to do what her brother was about to do and get some information. "I'll be back Gaara. I'm just gonna collect some info…" Temari stated before making her way to Team 10, and praying that Chōji and Shikamaru weren't the type to hold any grudges.

"Hey Shika…" Chōji muttered as he saw Temari make her way to their team…

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru groaned as he had seen her too. "She's coming to talk to me, just let me take care of it…"

"Huh?" Ino asked curiously. "Who are you talking about?"

"Hey guys!" Temari said cheerfully with a somewhat strained smile on. "What's up?"

"Her…" Sighed Chōji.

"Hey Temari…" Yawned Shikamaru. "Here to ask us about everyone else in the finals?"

Temari stumbled. "Wh-what? Why would you ask me something like that? Can't I just come over to say hi?"

Her answer came in the form of Team 10 looking at her in a way that said 'Do you really think we're THAT stupid?'

Temari huffed. "Fine… but I WAS going to compliment you guys on your matches as well. Chōji almost beat me. Hell, he completely tore up my war fan, and to my knowledge that has only really happened in extremely high-level fights…"

"Thanks, I think." Grumbled Chōji as Ino still eyed her warily.

"FFFUUUUUCCKKKK!" Roared a clearly disappointed blonde, gaining everyone's attention as they looked at the screen.

"Zaku Abumi Vs. Oboro… that… third Ame guy… person… thing." Ghost faltered, causing everyone to look at him oddly.

"I swear I will kill him…" Oboro growled as he made his way to the arena floor.

"This will be easy…" Chuckled Zaku as he jumped over the railing.

Temari blinked. "I don't get it. Why is that Naruto guy swearing? His opponent is gonna be that crazy looking green spandex guy."

Shikamaru shook his head. "Troublesome. It's not that Naruto doesn't want to fight Lee, it's that he doesn't want to fight Lee now…"

"Lee's really strong…" Chōji grumbled as he watched all the other Konoha genin slowly realize who was fighting in the next match. "… but to be honest, no one knows what Naruto is really capable of. To have a fight between those two… it's gonna be an interesting match, at the very least…"

Temari blinked as she looked at the other rookie teams carefully. Sure enough, more than a few of them were concentrating more on the whiskered blonde, who seemed to be in the process of calming himself down via weeping in a corner, and the boy with humongous eyebrows, who was trying his hardest to keep still and kept looking at the blonde every few seconds with an anxious look. "You're kidding me…" Temari deadpanned. "That mistake of nature is supposed to be strong?"

Ino snorted as she looked down at the arena. "Chōji nearly beat you, didn't he?"

Temari paused as Ino's words sunk in before she realized the next match was about to start.

"11th match!" Ghost called out. "Zaku Abumi, AKA the Blowing Boy Wonder Vs. Oboro AKA the worst Darth Vader cosplayer I have ever seen! Fight!"

Shadow and Waltz burst out laughing at Oboro's nickname, and even Scabbard cracked a smile. "I… I know I shouldn't be laughing…" Giggled Waltz as he looked at Oboro. "B-but it's so true! Hahahahah!"

"Blowing Boy Wonder!" Shadow sniggered as she held her sides tightly.

Dosu snorted as well. "Good thing my fight was in the last chapter…" He mused to himself.

Oboro and Zaku looked at each other with critical eyes before Zaku broke the tension first. "You wanna team up and kill this clown?"

Oboro sniggered. "True… what is really stopping us?" He replied.

Ghost chuckled. "Well, me killing both of you for starters. Then there's the fact that according to the rules, attacking the proctors unprovoked will result in a 5 year ban from taking the Chūnin Exams again in ANY village… oh, and you would automatically fail the current Exams." Ghost smirked as he took out a couple of kunai and raised his killing intent to higher levels, yet still acting in a casual manner. "But if you truly want to team up and fight me, please go ahead. It's been a while since I've killed idiots your age…" Oboro and Zaku swallowed heavily before they stepped back and turned their attention to each other again. "Yeah. I thought so, too." Ghost sighed.

Oboro started the match off before Zaku could react by forming some hand seals. "Mist Servant Technique…" He muttered as black blob copies of himself appeared from the ground and hid him from view. Oboro didn't take any chances as he quickly performed the earth jutsu that would enable him to go underground soon afterwards.

Zaku snorted. "Feh! This stupid trick again? That pink bitch already showed us all that it's nothing but a freaking genjutsu!" He focused his chakra. "Release!" He yelled as he flared out his chakra, but only about a third of the illusions disappeared. "What!?"

"How lucky!" Oboro's laughing voice echoed throughout the room. "It seems as if you don't understand the finer points of genjutsu… For example, instead of one grand illusion, this technique is comprised of several individual parts…" Zaku started to freak out as the blobs started to slowly approach him. "Depending on your chakra control and how large your reserves are, the efficiency of your genjutsu dispelling varies…"

"Sh-Shut up damn you!" Zaku roared as he pointed his arms in opposite directions. "Zankūha (Decapitating Air Waves)!" He roared, blasting a high concentration of chakra enriched air in two directions, to the shock of everyone watching.

"Not bad…" Temari mused to herself as she calculated the power of the technique. "He lacks finesse, but he definitely has some power behind that technique…"

Zaku breathed out slowly as he saw the blobish remains of the clones shift on the ground. "That's what I'm gonna do to you when I get my hands on you…" He growled before he saw the clones reform themselves. "What?!"

Oboro laughed as his illusions approached Zaku again, this time surrounding him. "These are illusions, you fool! A simple ninjutsu like that won't do anything to them!"

Zaku snorted as one of the illusions came closer to him. "If that's true, then I don't need to worry about anything these stupid things do-." Zaku's tirade was cut short as the kunai that the illusion used to stab Zaku in the shoulder actually pierced him and left a very serious wound.

"You were saying…?" Oboro chuckled as Zaku stared at his arm in shock.

"Hey Sakura…" Naruto whispered. "Did you see how he did that? That clone was supposed to be an illusion…"

Sakura nodded. "He came out of the ground near the back and threw a kunai at Zaku to time it perfectly with the clone's strike, making it look like the illusion actually hurt him…"

"He's pretty good to time it that efficiently…" Sasuke muttered. "Too bad it doesn't work against my Sharingan…" Sasuke paused as Naruto gave him a look. "… what? I'm just saying it wouldn't work on me. No need to humiliate me in public again… please?" He said quickly.

Naruto snorted. "Only because teme asked so nicely…" Naruto paused for a moment himself. "Holy crap… you asked NICELY! Willingly!"

Sasuke blinked for a moment before realizing what Naruto had just pointed out. "… I think that's a sign that you should lay off me for a while, dobe…" He said before slowly sitting down in disbelief.

Naruto nodded slowly. "I… I think so too, teme…"

"Damn it!" Zaku roared as he extended his arms around and started to spin. "Zankūha!" He roared as the air cannons in his arms once again fired off, this time nailing all the illusions. "Show yourself you coward!"

Oboro laughed gleefully from the ground as the destroyed clones once again reformed. "What kind of shinobi are you if you are afraid of an opponent you cannot find? We live our lives in the darkness and in uncertainty, so situations like this are perfectly normal… give up, brat. You are not ready…"

Zaku freaked out as he roared and dashed to the edge of the room so that he was facing all the clones, and subsequently the Hokage and his entourage as well. "You bastard! I'll show you who's not ready!" He threw both his hands forward…

"Zaku, you idiot! Stop!" Dosu yelled as he knew what his hysterical partner was about to do.

"Zankūkyokuha (Extreme Decapitating Air Waves)!" He roared, unleashing a massive gale of violent wind throughout the arena, blinding everyone in the room and rendering them unable to hear anything other than the roar of the technique.

As the attack finally faded away, Temari could only gape at what had just happened. The Hokage was right in the line of fire with that technique, and she highly doubted anyone could make it through unscathed. "This doesn't look good…" She shivered to herself.

"I know!" Shadow agreed in a disappointed tone. "Seriously. Look what he did to my hair! That little brat got dust everywhere! Do you know how long it will take to get all of that crap out?!"

Temari gaped as she stared at the woman. "I'm not talking about your hair, lady! That brat just blasted away the Hokage, for crying out loud!"

Shadow snorted as Shikamaru sighed. "Say what? Kid, you need your eyes checked." Shadow nodded her head to where the Hokage was, hidden by the slowly receding cloud of dust. "There's no way Ghost would let a tiny breeze like that get past him and even touch the old man…"

Temari blinked as she focused her eyes at the Hokage's viewing position and gaped as the dust cleared. The Hokage and his entire escort were completely unscathed! Temari looked at the arena and could barely understand what she was seeing. The technique's trail was evident as a huge gouge in the ground traveled from Zaku in a straight line, but a few meters from him the gouge stopped as if an invisible wall blocked it. Temari was speechless, as she had no idea as to what kind of technique could pull something like that off so quickly without even leaving a trace…

"You all right, old man?" Ghost asked as he emerged from the cloud without a speck of dust on him, raising the eyebrows of those who did not know of him that well yet. "Those damn summer storms can wreak havoc on an old timer's body… and you can never freaking predict them!"

Sarutobi chuckled as he returned Ghost's silly grin with one of his own. "I'm not a Hokage for nothing, brat. Thanks for dealing with it, though…"

Ghost shrugged. "No problem. It's my job… speaking of which, how do you want to deal with... what just happened…?"

Sarutobi frowned as he closed his eyes in thought. "It is clear that he still needs training in various areas, including discipline and awareness. He will have other chances…" Sarutobi was interrupted by a scream from the dust cloud.

Ghost frowned. "Hold that thought for a moment…" With a small gesture from one of Ghost's hands, the remaining dust in the air shot down to the ground, immediately clearing up the arena so everyone could see what had happened. Oboro was standing over a heavily bleeding Zaku with a kunai in hand, ready to make another jab, more than likely to end his opponent's life. Ghost wasted no time and almost instantly appeared behind the Ame-nin with his raised arm firmly in his grip. "That is no longer necessary." Ghost stated calmly to the clearly shocked Oboro. "The winner of the 11th match is Oboro from Amegakure! Waltz! Get your ass over here pronto! He's lost a lot of blood!"

Temari blinked as she watched Waltz rush over to the downed Zaku. "How did he do that?" She mused as she replayed the recent events in her mind.

Ino blinked. "Who, Ghost-sensei? I don't really know to be honest. I heard that he's some kind of master wind manipulator. He doesn't need any seals to do anything except for his most powerful techniques. He's also supposed to be a high-level assassin, which makes sense considering how fast he moved just now… to be honest, no one knows that much about him other than Naruto and his family…"

Temari blinked. "Wait… why would that idiot know the most about him?"

Ino raised an eyebrow. "Didn't I tell you during our gossiping back at my place? Naruto is Ghost-sensei's personal apprentice… hell, he's practically going to be the apprentice of the entire Ōgakari clan from what I've heard…"

Temari frowned. "Isn't it against the rules for him to proctor these matches, then? I mean what if he plays favorites?"

Shikamaru snorted. "I doubt it. If we have learned anything from that troublesome bastard, it's that he's more likely to make things even more difficult for us than easier. That rule goes triple for Naruto… and since he's facing Lee of all people in this match…"

"Those two are going to practically kill each other by the time the fight is over…" Chōji stated certainly.

"They hate each other that much?" Temari asked curiously.

Shikamaru shook his head. "Just the opposite actually. They respect each other highly considering they were both considered the dead lasts of our respective classes. Because of that, those two are going to go at each other with everything they have… and they both have a lot to throw at each other…"

Sakura blinked as she heard a sneezing noise coming from Naruto. "Bless you." She said.

"I didn't sneeze, Sakura…" Naruto said.

Sakura frowned. "I'm pretty sure I heard someone sneeze from your general direction, and since no one else is there aside from you, I can only assume that you are the one who sneezed, idiot…"

Naruto wept. "It wasn't me, Sakura. Honest. It's the dragon that's making a nest out of my hair that sneezed…"

Sakura blinked before groaning. "You seriously need some help, Naruto. You're getting weirder and weirder every day…"

"Why me?" Naruto sobbed as he crawled into a fetal position as the small dragon on his head sneezed again.

"Zaku, you idiot…" Growled Dosu as he watched the medics cart his partner away. Apparently, the loss of blood was great enough that he needed to be in intensive care despite the old man's healing powers to make sure that he recovered properly. "You could have won if you kept your fucking head on straight…" His expression relaxed a little bit as he prepared himself to watch the final match. Oh well, at least he would be able to see what that annoying blonde was capable of so he could take him down easier in the later matches…

"Lee! It is finally your turn to show your flames of youth!" Gai shouted as Lee jumped to the arena floor.

"Yes, Gai-sensei1 I will make sure my flames of youth glow with the white-hot intensity of 1000 suns!"

"Aw man…" Groaned Naruto as he hunched over and made his way to the arena floor. "I was hoping to at least get matched up with someone that wouldn't force me to use most of my skills…"

"This should be good…" Kiba smirked as he watched the pair get into the center of the arena. "I can't wait to see what happens…" Shino nodded in silent agreement, deftly hiding the fact that he was at the seat of his non-existent seat to see what was about to occur in front of him.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata mumbled to herself. She knew that Lee was an incredibly strong opponent, and that Naruto had to hide some of his skills for now or else some problems could arise. "Good luck…"

"Let's see how strong you really are, Uzumaki…" Neji mused as he activated his eyes. He was not foolish enough to think that he wouldn't need them to see everything in the fight.

 _'The rookies are getting anxious…'_ Kabuto pondered as he looked around. ' _Even the teachers are on edge… this fight may prove to be more fruitful than I first anticipated…'_

Ghost smirked as both boys stepped in front of him. "… damn, I was hoping for this matchup in the third round, not in the preliminaries. Oh well…" He shrugged before stretching a bit. "Before I start the match however, I have something to say to each of you…" Both boys looked at Ghost nervously before the man walked over to Lee and started to whisper something into his ear. Whatever it was, Naruto didn't like it, as Lee's eyes widened in surprise.

"But Ghost-sensei!" Lee protested. "I cannot…"

"I'll take full responsibility for whatever happens, Lee. Let me worry about what happens afterwards." Ghost interrupted. "I have complete faith in your judgment. This is your fight Lee, you call your own shots here. Besides, Naruto can handle it… maybe." Lee paused before slowly nodding in agreement.

Ghost smirked before going to Naruto and whispering in his ear as well. "Lee's gonna come at you with everything in his arsenal, so I give you permission to use as much of the fur ball's chakra as you want as long as a cloak doesn't form. Got it?"

Naruto's eyes also widened as he realized what Ghost was insinuating about the upcoming fight. "… I hate you so much right now." Naruto stated in a tone that left no argument.

"And that is how things should be." Ghost chuckled as he backed away before he paused. "Right, almost forgot." He snapped his fingers repeatedly and whistled as if he was calling a dog. "Zuzushi! Get off blondie's head! I can't start his fight until I make sure you're not involved!"

"Squeak!" Chirped something hidden inside Naruto's mop of hair.

"I know you have a thing for spiky blondes, but you can finish building a nest on the minion's scalp later!" Ghost argued, completely ignoring the odd looks nearly everyone in the room was giving the two.

"Squeh! Squeak! Chirp!" The invisible being countered defiantly.

"Oh no. I'm not leaving you on his head and starting the match. Not after the last time I gave you some leeway. Do you remember what you did to that guy's opponent when they started to get a bit too rough?!"

"…chirp?"

"Don't play innocent with me, you second hand purse!" Ghost berated irritably. "You ripped out the guy's tongue through his NOSE for crying out loud! And that was AFTER you maimed the him in front of half a city's worth of spectators! I happen to actually like these brats, and I don't wanna see this fight ruined because you got irritated again, so either you perch your scaly ass here on my shoulder and deal with it, or I shove you back into Shadow and I put a silencing seal on her so you miss the entire thing."

"…Squeh…" Zuzushi relented. Almost instantly, a very tiny pale white dragon head popped up from Naruto's hair and frowned at Ghost before launching itself into the air to the awe of the spectators. The dragon was a pale pearl color with sparse dark pink tribal markings traveling down from her body (I'm using a slightly modified western dragon body style for her, meaning 4 legs and a pair of wings). She was fairly skinny, but still about 3/4 a foot long from head to tail. Her eyes were a similar color to her markings, but there was a bit of a fire to them as well. The crowd was speechless as the creature circled the room a few times before landing on Ghost's shoulder from behind and wrapping her long tail around his neck casually.

"Beautiful…" The girls swooned.

"Holy crap, it's a dragon!" Kiba exclaimed loudly.

"Freaking attention whore…" Ghost grumbled, causing the tail around his neck to tighten reflexively. "Okay! Okay! Sorry!" Ghost choked out before regaining control of his larynx.

"Huh… so that's where Zuzushi was…" Waltz commented in an amused manner. "I was wondering when she would show up again…"

"I had a feeling that she would end up there…" Scabbard mused. "She loves making nests on the heads of spiky blondes. The hair color lets in the most sunlight and the spiky hair provide both a good foundation and cushioning. Plus, she hasn't seen Ghost in a while and probably wanted to see him… until she got distracted, of course."

"Good." Ghost mused as he got into his judging position. "Now that we finally have all that crap out of the way…" He smirked as he drew his hood over his head, easily over shadowing his eyes, and took off his glasses, which got many raised eyebrows from the people on the balcony, the combatants, and Zuzushi.

"Apparently this fight is gonna be better that we suspected…" Mused Waltz as he focused more on the two boys.

"What's with the hood and the glasses?" Temari asked curiously as she watched the reactions of everyone in the room.

Shikamaru frowned. "… it means this fight's gonna be bigger than we thought…"

Kakashi raised his forehead protector, Sasuke activated his Sharingan, Hinata and Neji already had their bloodlines activated, and all the Konoha jōnin were looking at the fight with a critical eye.

"Lee Rock AKA The Unknowing Fetish Timebomb Vs. Naruto Uzumaki AKA Minion number Q! FIGHT!" Ghost roared as he moved back far faster than he normally did as Naruto and Lee charged at each other at an incredible pace.

Naruto and Lee engaged in a taijutsu free for all right off the bat. Punches and kicks at various angles flew everywhere as the two boys fought to win. Lee's attacks were incredibly powerful and fast, however Naruto managed to somehow maneuver and counter on an equal level despite his less prominent speed and strength.

The fight escalated as Lee smoothly spun on the ground and swept with his leg in an attempt to ground Naruto, but Naruto instinctively fell on his back, arching over Lee's fast-moving leg and bounced back on his feet to deflect under the oncoming chop powered by Lee's rotating motion. Naruto then sought to punch Lee's side while underneath the outstretched arm, but Lee canceled it with a punch from his other arm as he bent forward to give himself room. Lee took the opportunity of Naruto wincing in pain from Lee's attack to grab Naruto's blocking hand and spin while jumping over the blonde, twisting his body unnaturally before launching him into a nearby wall hard in a giant wall of dust.

"Whoah…" Temari gaped as she watched the fight. "Blondie's tough, but eyebrows is something else… and that's just his taijutsu…"

"It's all he has…" Shikamaru mused. "Lee can't use nin- or genjutsu for some reason. Some kind of birth defect. So… he focused purely on taijutsu… and with Gai as his sensei, he's become pretty much a taijutsu master." He sighed as Temari looked at him funny. "The guy's strength and speed is as unreal as his looks, and the troublesome thing is that it works… it works really well…"

"I saw some of Ghost's style in Naruto's movements…" Shadow mused. "His dodging skills have his name written all over them…"

"But it is not enough for this fight… and Naruto was never a speed and agility type to begin with." Waltz added before smirking. "He was the type to have a giant bag of tricks up his sleeve…"

"Heheh…" Naruto chuckled as he pulled himself out of the wall. "Damn, that hurt Lee."

Lee smirked as he got back into his strong fist stance. "You are indeed a worthy opponent; however, I have claimed the first blow…"

Naruto grinned as he stretched his arms and got into a new stance. "Is that so?"

Lee blinked in a confused manner before he felt an odd tingling sensation on his arm and on his head. Reaching up to his head and looking at his arms, he saw blood running from a decent sized scratch on his arm, and had no doubt that the same was true for his head. "… how?" Lee asked curiously.

Naruto grinned as he focused his chakra more and the blades on the lengths of his arms became more prominent. "Wind element composition. Gotta love it."

"He's a wind type?" Temari mused to herself in a surprised manner. "And he can compose his chakra that well at that age?! Even I can't focus my chakra that well naturally…"

"Those chakra blades…" Tenten whispered to herself as she looked at Naruto skeptically. "They couldn't be… unless…" She widened her eyes and looked at Ghost with wide eyes. "Of course! How could I have not seen it before?!"

Lee matched Naruto's grin with one of his own. "Yes! This indeed will be a most youthful battle!" He yelled happily as he charged at his opponent with incredible speed.

"LEE!" Tenten shouted. "Be careful! Those aren't the only blades on his arms he can make!"

Lee subconsciously registered what Tenten had shouted before he attempted to punch Naruto in the face. Naruto brought up one of his bladed arms to deflect Lee's attack. Lee responded by pivoting his body in the opposite direction in an attempt to uppercut the blonde, which apparently was the correct choice as a chakra blade from Naruto's other arm whizzed by his face and cut him on the cheek where his chest once was. Lee immediately jumped back and saw that in addition to the blades on the side of his arms, another blade extended from the bottom of Naruto's wrist like a hidden blade and extended a good meter before coming to a deadly point.

"Damn… the kid has some nice toys there…" Shadow whistled in an impressed tone.

"Lee's reaction time and natural instincts are nothing to scoff at either." Waltz stated.

"I think it's time I went on the offensive…" Naruto growled as the second hidden blade extended from his wrist. The blonde then charged forward and attempted to slash the spandexed boy to pieces.

Lee frowned as he dodged the flurry of attacks expertly, barely managing to avoid getting another cut from the extended blades. If Naruto had been using metal weapons, this fight would be much more manageable. However, because he was not only using chakra based blades, but in areas that put him at a distinct disadvantage when coupled with the boy's prominent close ranged combat skills, Lee was extremely hard pressed to regain any form of advantage right now despite his higher speed and strength. Not only that, but with those blades rendered his Forward Lotus nearly useless due to the fact that it required him to wrap his opponent securely in bandages, and he couldn't do that if Naruto could instantly cut through them regardless of moving or not.

It was moments like these that required Ghost-sensei's… gifts. He only hoped that Gai-sensei would forgive him after this. He tended to be a bit… unyouthful when he used them…

Lee quickly ducked underneath the next swipe of Naruto's arm and quickly advanced while spinning towards the surprised blonde before pivoting on his hands. He kicked Naruto's second arm away with his first leg and landed a savage blow to Naruto's chest with the other leg, blowing the assaulting blonde back across the arena and raising a few eyebrows all over.

Wasting no time, Lee reached into his pouch and took out a moderately alcoholic candy, much to the fear of his observing team who knew what that meant.

"Is that a…?" Tenten asked fearfully.

"It is." Stated a clearly unnerved Neji.

"I thought we made sure to keep him away from those…" Gai said in disbelief. "Lee! Don't do it!"

"Forgive me, Gai-sensei…" Lee grumbled as he popped the chocolate into his mouth.

"NOOOOOO!" Gai, Neji, and Tenten screamed at once and hugged each other in fear, scaring almost everyone else in the room.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru groaned as he watched to see the oncoming chaos.

"It's a bit of a weird time to have a snack… isn't it?" Temari asked curiously.

Chōji shook his head. "Oh boy. Temari… if anything else, you should know this about Lee. Never. EVER. Give him any form of alcohol…"

"This won't end well…" Shino stated bluntly.

"I'd hate to be blondie right now." Kiba agreed with a painful cringe on his face.

Naruto groaned as he picked himself up. He was definitely going to feel that in the morning. Shaking himself and clearing his head, he looked for his opponent, to see Lee swaying dangerously side to side. "Oh… fuck… me…" He said slowly as he realized what had happened to Lee.

"Wha' choo lookin' at?" Lee slurred with a red blush on his face. "I-I'm gonna beat you an… wha am I do-in here again?" He fumbled as he stumbled to a clearly scared Naruto in a bizarre gait. "I see yoo starin' at me funny… stop starin' at me!" The clearly inebriated Lee charged at Naruto incredibly quickly despite his uneven steps and stumbles.

"Oh CRAP!" Naruto shouted hysterically as he quickly formed some seals and drew in a deep breath. "Wind Style: Fūgadan (Wind Fang Bullet)! " Naruto roared as a large pressurized wind ball tore through the arena and straight at Lee… who tripped to the side at the last moment and dodged the incredibly dangerous attack with unparalleled ease before unnaturally getting back onto his feet and resuming his odd charge at the disturbed blonde. The dodged Fūgadan, on the other hand, continued forward till it crashed into the arena wall and bore a hole through it until it reached outside, causing many of the spectators to blink at Naruto questionably.

 _'Did you put enough chakra into that attack, Naruto?'_ Kakashi sweat dropped as he looked at the results of his student's attack.

Naruto wasted no time after seeing his attack miss and formed a familiar cross seal. "Shadow Clone Technique!" Naruto roared, creating well over 50 clones. And causing Lee to freeze in his tracks.

"Whuh?" The drunk boy stated dumbly. "Mo clones? I thout that 6 wuz gonna be hard… but joo had tuh make ovah 100? That's mean Naru… whuts your name again?"

"Take him down NOWWW!" Naruto roared hysterically while pointing at Lee. The clones in turn looked at each other nervously for a moment before nodding and charging at the stumbling Lee while the original attempted to calm himself down while forming the dragon hand seal.

Looking back decades from now, the future selves of everyone watching the fight would easily say that the fight at that point was one of the most bizarre things that they had ever witnessed. After all, very few things could top a drunken boy in a green spandex muscle suit and a bowl cut haircut beating the living daylights out of over fifty identical blonde boys with whiskers on his cheeks and various transparent blades coming from his arms.

Shadow was at the very least extremely amused.

"Hahahahaha! Holy shit! That brat's better than Ghost at drunken boxing!" Shadow laughed heavily on her back as she attempted to breathe.

"… I don't get it Kakashi…" Sasuke said out loud in a daze as Lee took out two clones at the same time with a sideways head butt and a lopsided back hand before landing on his face. "I'm looking at him with my Sharingan… but I can't copy those moves for some reason… that shouldn't be possible."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Sasuke… there are some things in this world that are beyond human comprehension… and you are looking at one of them…"

"Naruto's doing something to the air…" Neji said in a bewildered tone as he saw the air around the room shimmering with the blonde's chakra. He remembered that something similar happened when Ghost first arrived to Konoha… but to see it again made him realize how much chakra the blonde truly had…

 _'What is Naruto-kun planning…?'_ Hinata pondered as she saw that Naruto was saturating more of the air around him with his chakra.

"The brat is taking control of his surroundings…" Crypt giggled as he felt Naruto's chakra course through the air. "The real fight is gonna start soon…"

Naruto frowned as he felt his control of the air around him reach optimum levels. It was time to show everyone what he was really made of… and fight Lee on a higher level. "Now…" Naruto commanded quietly. Almost instantly, the remaining five clones exploded near Lee with great power, engulfing the boy in multiple shockwaves and dust, surprising many of the people there. The boy was flung into a nearby wall with incredible force.

"He can make his clones EXPLODE?!" Ino shouted incredulously. "Holy shit!"

"Oh man… I knew he was holding out on us, but that much?" Chōji groaned. "I mean, we've seen him make hundreds of those things without breaking a sweat!"

Temari paled. She was seriously glad she wasn't set up against him in the preliminaries. His range of jutsu was just too huge and too dangerous to deal with, not to mention that she had a feeling that her wind attacks would have no effect on him at all.

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura asked nervously. "Did you know he could do that…?"

"N-no, I didn't." Sasuke replied. "Kakashi… did you?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, I did, but I made him promise me that he would restrict his usage on the technique as much as he could. It's not exactly a safe move for obvious reasons and it is rather draining despite his incredible reserves…" _Although he could easily create over a couple hundred more exploding clones before he starts to feel any sort of drain at all, but I won't tell them that._

"Ugh…" Lee groaned as he picked himself up, now sober. It was somewhat odd that he could just as easily get knocked out of his alcohol induced delirium as he could get into one… well, as easy as it is actually getting a good hit on him, at least.

"Lee… let's take off our gloves… I know that you still have your weights on, and I have a few restraints on me myself…" Naruto sighed as he walked to the middle of the arena, causing the unaware genin to widen their eyes in shock. They had been fighting with one arm tied behind their back the entire time?!

Lee looked at Naruto carefully before giving the blonde a confident grin and reached for his leg warmers. "I cannot ensure your safety if you let me do this, my friend…"

Naruto snorted as he started to reduce the potency of his gravity seal and strengthened his connection with the air around him. "Please, it can't be worse than Ero-nii's training…" He forced his eyes to glow a bit and let loose a feral grin. "Let's show everyone how far hard work can take us…"

Lee chuckled as he stood up with his leg weights in each hand. "I could not have said it better myself… but first can you give me a moment to stretch my legs out? It has been a while since I took my weights off."

Naruto sighed as he stretched his arms and legs. "Sure, go ahead. To be honest I'm in the same boat as you are… seriously, what kind of monsters are our sensei, anyways? Making us do such training…"

Lee nodded in silent agreement as he dropped his weights. Said weights impacted the ground with incredible force, scaring many of the people in the room. "Ahh. I can move so much easier now…" Lee sighed as he dashed around the room at an inhuman speed to get his body under control.

"You said it, Lee." Chuckled Naruto as he jumped extremely high in the air and spun in awkward angles before landing on one hand and started to maneuver on the ground in a break dance like manner with incredible ease and speed.

Needless to say, many of the other genin in the room were shitting themselves at the thought that they could have been paired up against either one of these two monsters.

"Was this the kind of fight you were expecting?" Temari asked nervously to Team 10, honestly petrified that Konoha had these two kids as genin.

"… I was expecting something big…" Ino breathed out. "But this is seriously blowing things out of proportion…"

"No…" Shikamaru frowned. "They are simply fighting each other without restraint now… and the troublesome thing is…" The genin listening to him swallowed heavily as they absorbed Shikamaru's every word. "I highly doubt either one of them has revealed their ace yet… their real fight begins now…" ' _To be honest though, Lee is much faster than I remembered. I doubt Naruto can keep up with him, even with his gravity seal turned off. How is he going to deal with this situation…'_

"Are you two freaks of nature done yet?" Ghost chuckled, snapping the two boys from their display of superhuman prowess. "You two are still in a match, you know…"

Naruto and Lee froze in place before looking at each other and slowly getting back into their fighting positions, and in the blink of an eye the fight had resumed again.

o. o. o.

A/N

Ugh. Too much fighting. I'm gonna put a few chapters in between the preliminaries and the third round so I can get my head on straight.

481 reviews so far… huh… (starts practicing the 500 dance). DON'T JUDGE ME!

Anyways. Thanks to everyone who gave me your condolences for my friend last week.

The preliminaries will have a very flashy conclusion, and I will update the plot some more afterwards.

Oh, and to those of you who think that the Ōgakari clan had no reason to be watching the preliminaries in the first place… they did have a reason to be there and they did do their hidden agenda already. And I won't explain what happened until later since you doubted my judgment, so nyeh.

Anyways. Please review, watch the latest episode of Shippuden, because Killer Bee is freaking hilarious, stay in school, don't do milk, and drink plenty of drugs. Later.


	33. Battle of the Beasts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 33: Battle of the Beasts

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Inside the tower:

All the spectators in the room were silent for various reasons. The genin were all jealous and scared at the potential that these two boys were displaying. The jōnin were amazed that these boys were fighting on such a level that they themselves would need to take the boys seriously in order to win.

The Ōgakari clan members, on the other hand, were silent because they did not want to distract themselves from such a promising and extremely entertaining fight.

Both boys were nothing but blurs to all but the most trained eyes in the room. Lee, the clearly faster and more active green blur, was all over the room and constantly attacking and surrounding Naruto. Naruto, the blonde, orange, and black blur, was centralizing his ground and not moving as much, but was still fast enough to clearly play tricks on the spectator's eyes, and was generating large slashes of wind chakra whenever Lee came nearby, but so far no major damage seemed to have been done yet.

 _'Well, well…'_ Ghost mused to himself as he kept tabs on both combatants, leaning to the side a bit to barely evade Lee as he passed by. ' _It seems as if Lee's been holding out on me. He's far faster than I guessed he would be by this point in time… Naruto doesn't stand a chance against him in a standard one-on-one fight now if he doesn't pull out the stops soon, even with all the training I've given him on going up against faster opponents. Blondie has his work cut out for him this time…'_

"Damn…" Sasuke growled as he watched the fight continue with his Sharingan active as Lee's blurred form blazed past Naruto's again, causing both to jolt in different directions. "Naruto's not doing that well…"

"Huh?" Sakura asked as she quickly glanced at Sasuke before trying to decipher the match in front of her again. "What do you mean, Sasuke-kun?"

"Lee's too fast, Sakura…" Kakashi frowned. "Even for Naruto. I think that the match would be over already if Naruto didn't have his Serventh Sense up to warn him where Lee's next attack is coming from. Lee is simply getting in and out of Naruto's range too quickly for him to react enough to counter efficiently…."

Sakura frowned before giving off a small smile. "…so that's it, then? Lee's simply faster than Naruto?" Her smile grew as Kakashi and Sasuke gave her an odd look. "I'm not worried. We're talking about the village's most unpredictable ninja here… and he was trained by the world's most unpredictable psychopath assassin. The fight isn't going to finish that quickly…"

 _'FUCK!'_ Naruto mentally swore as he barely dodged another of Lee's guerrilla style attacks before the green blur got out of his striking distance again. ' _I knew that Lee was faster than before, but this is freaking ridiculous! WHOA!'_ Naruto ducked under a flying kick that took Lee across the room. ' _Seriously, even with my seal off, the difference between our speeds is WAY more than they originally were. Being stronger doesn't mean shit if I still can't catch the HOLY SHIT!'_ Naruto jumped and sailed over Lee as he came at Naruto from behind. ' _Damn it! I guess I have to use that after all…'_

 _'Naruto-kun is far more impressive than I would have guessed!'_ Lee thought excitedly as he missed his opponent by inches. ' _The only reason why Neji-kun can still defeat me as I am right now is because he can perform the Kaiten in time to counter my attacks, and even then he is not able to successfully dodge my attacks at this speed for this long! I wonder how he is able to detect me when I approach him from behind? I will have to ask him that after this match… for now…'_ Lee frowned as he decided to increase his speed a bit for his next attack seeing as Naruto was still in mid-air from his jump and could not dodge. ' _I have a fight to win.'_

Lee closed in on Naruto so quickly that even some of the more experienced jōnin had trouble catching up with him. Those that could barely had enough time to process what they were seeing and conclude that Naruto was going to get hit hard before it happened. Without any visible notice, Naruto shot down to the ground at a much faster speed than he was going an instant before and ducked underneath Lee's outstretched leg, leaving him completely open for Naruto who immediately slashed with his blades, managing to land some decent cuts on the boy before Lee managed to get out of striking distance and circle Naruto again rapidly. The entire event took less than half a second and left more than a few people confused.

"That was…" Waltz mused in an impressed tone.

"Yep." Shadow smirked. "Blondie's not out of the fight yet."

"Kakashi…" Sasuke said curiously, not taking his eyes off the fight.

"Yeah… I saw it too…" Kakashi with a confused frown.

"What? What did you see?" Sakura asked.

"Do tell, my rival." Gai asked as well, momentarily surprising Team 7. "I saw young Naruto's falling speed change as well, but apparently your Sharingan saw something else in addition to it."

Sasuke frowned in a confused manner. "… I don't know how to describe it, but just before dobe's speed changed, the chakra he put in the air became more active for a moment… There!" He shouted as Naruto once again seemed to instantly change speeds, this time apparently moving backwards when he was just before running forwards and slashing where his body once was, hence, where Lee was now. Everyone could now tell that the tide was turning again as Lee's speed reduced and a red stain appeared on the ground.

"What is this about Naruto-kun's chakra in the air?" Gai asked curiously as he paid more attention to Naruto. "Is it something that Ghost-san has taught him?"

"It's called the Seventh Sense, Gai." Kakashi answered before his students could say anything. "It spreads the user's chakra out into the air and makes it linger there for long periods of time. It can only be used by wind elements with incredibly large pools of chakra, and even then it requires a large amount of training to perform. It enables the user to control the air currents around them without need for seals, and also acts as a sort of Byakugan, feeling around and alerting the user of everything around them. Ghost has hinted at other uses for it as well, but I am not familiar with this technique in particular…"

"It has many names, but the general term is called dashing." Scabbard stated as he walked up to the group while still watching the fight as Lee decided to create some more space from Naruto until he could figure something out. "Like you said Kakashi, the Seventh Sense allows the user to control the air currents around the user as they see fit. However, with enough practice, the opposite can be possible…"

Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise. "Of course! But… such control, and the reaction time has to be perfect…"

"What do you mean, Scabbard-sensei?" Sasuke frowned.

"Sasuke-kun, he means that instead of Naruto moving the air in respect to himself, he is instead moving himself in respect to the air around him…" Gai explained with a frown. "But the chakra required to move the human body so much while using something like air as an anchor must be…"

"It's actually requires less air than you think…" Scabbard interrupted. "With enough practice, the user can adjust his body's position requiring small pockets of air at most. This concept can be used for other elements as well, and in the greatest cases, the user can even exert enough constant control to even fly with ease…" He let his words linger for a moment before he continued. "… however, you must understand that Naruto is still a bit of a novice at this, and from what I can see, he is still only able to force his body to move for short distances without overexerting himself. Lee-kun's incredible speed is enough to push him on edge in order to just detect and dodge in time, but Naruto is somehow able to focus enough to maintain his blades as well in order to counterattack. To be honest, he is mimicking my brother's style quite a bit. Sacrifice any and all forms of defense in order to dodge and counter as quickly, efficiently, and unpredictably as possible. However, it is a bit risky at this point in the match. From what I can see, if Lee can land at least 2 solid blows to Naruto now, he will almost assuredly win…"

"I see…" Gai frowned as he examined Naruto more closely. "He still has not completely adapted to the rapid change in movement that… dashing… forces on his body. He will probably have a bit of trouble standing up straight soon if he keeps on using the technique… still, for such a move to exist and under your clan's control, it makes me wonder how strong your clan actually is, Scabbard-san…"

Scabbard's mouth twitched into a small smile. "… We're strong enough, Gai. That's all you need to know…"

BANG! BANG!

"They're at it again…" Sasuke interrupted. "The dobe let lose a few more Fūgadan before Lee remembered that he knew some powerful ninjutsu. They're back doing taijutsu again… but Lee looks like he's pulling out all the stops. He's moving faster than before now, despite the slashes dobe gave him earlier…"

Kakashi's eyes twitched for a moment as he looked at Lee run. ' _He opened the first gate… but he should know better than to use a Lotus on Naruto while he still has his fox talons…'_

"Damn!" Naruto shouted as he fought against Lee. The pair were now going at each other like wild animals, moving so fast that only the jōnin-level ninja and above could follow their movements clearly. Naruto was doing everything he could to dodge and attack Lee efficiently, but the pair at this point were so incredibly evenly matched that the best he could do was force his opponent to defend or dodge before another flurry of punches and kicks erupted from the green wonder. Even Naruto's nearly limitless stamina and chakra reserves were getting strained by the constant barrage of powerful and fast blows that he was forced to deal with. It wasn't helping that he was dashing far more than he was used to, either. He was starting to lose his sense of balance and depth perception, evident by the increasing number of glancing blows that Lee was squeaking past his defenses.

The moment ended when Lee managed to land a savage kick to Naruto who was trying to dodge the attack with another dash, and sent the blonde crashing hard into the wall on the opposite side of the arena with a massive bang. Lee breathed heavily as he collapsed to one knee and attempted to cool himself down while putting pressure on a rather deep cut Naruto had managed to deliver on his chest. The entire room was silent as the cloud slowly settled.

"… wow…" Kiba said in a daze. "Seriously… wow…"

Neji focused more into his eyes. "Never would I have believed that someone our age other than Hinata-sama or I would last this long against Lee or give him such a difficult time in his field of mastery…" He remembered what Ghost had said about Naruto being the top of the class in terms of overall potential. "… but why do I feel like he is holding something back?"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata whispered to herself, worried that her crush might overdo things if things escalated and hurt himself in the process.

"… they're… not human…" Temari shuddered as she registered what she had just seen. "There's no way that anyone our age should have that kind of power…"

Shikamaru shivered as he too reflected on the fight. "… that's what happens when you give people with troublesome personalities like theirs goals like becoming a great ninja or becoming Hokage… and the means to do so…" He took in a deep breath, knowing that he was going to regret it later. "… but the truly troublesome thing is… is that they are only now going to show us their final tricks…"

"Uuuughh. My head…" Moaned a familiar blonde from the rubble as the smoke cleared. Naruto's frame came into view half buried by debris, with his hands on his head, as if he was dealing with a massive headache. "Damn it, Lee. It's hard enough trying to fight against you, but then you have to ram my already aching head into a wall? Again? That's cold man. OW!" He winced as he tried to get up. "Damn it… you broke a few ribs there too…"

Lee laughed weakly. "I was… trying to knock you out, Naruto-kun… but I knew that… your head was too hard… so I tried your stomach…" Everyone sweat dropped. Those that knew Naruto and Lee on some level grudgingly admitted that Lee made some sense there.

Naruto laughed dryly as he managed to get back up. "I see you're not gonna last that much longer either, bushy brows." Naruto commented as he saw Lee's condition. "… You know… I don't feel like giving up just yet… and I still have enough juice for one last big trick… you think you can handle it?" Naruto grinned as his breathing calmed down and stared Lee in the eyes and focused his thoughts inward just enough so that he could barely talk to his inner tenants. ' _Oi fuzz butt! Old Man! Things are gonna get real rough real soon, so it would be nice if you started to let lose some of your chakra in the next few seconds. The guy I'm up against can open 5 gates, and I don't wanna die just yet!'_

" **Hoh?"** The Kyūbi replied in an amused manner. **"You need my chakra again so soon, brat? You know your organs haven't fully recovered from the last time you used my chakra…"**

"He's right Naruto…" Minato added. "You could really hurt yourself and… wait, did you just say 5 gates?"

 _'Yes already!'_ Naruto replied frantically. ' _5 Gates on a freaking taijutsu expert! Five FUCKING GATES!'_

Minato paled and immediately turned to his prisoner and placed his hands on the gate to regulate the oncoming chakra. "Juice him… now." He ordered in a tone that left no argument.

Kyūbi glared at Minato for a moment, loathing the fact that he was taking orders from the pathetic human that sealed him up in there before relenting and pumping his chakra into his container. He sighed to himself as his awareness extended to outside his container's body and he saw who Naruto was up against. **"Whoever that pathetic green brat is… he better be worth it…"** Kyūbi grumbled.

Lee calmed down himself as he got back on his two legs. "… I should be the one asking you that question, Naruto-kun… I am afraid you will not be able to survive my next attack should we continue…" Lee started to focus and was a hair's breadth away from opening the second gate and beyond…

Gai's eyes widened. "No… he not going to…"

Naruto sighed as he saw the conviction in Lee's eyes… and started to tap into the Kyūbi's chakra, slowly changing the colors of his eyes, and causing his previous injuries to steam and rapidly heal. "… you don't have to worry about me, Lee… I'm a fast healer… and I can take a lot of damage before throwing in the towel… not like I'm gonna give up even if I was outmatched in the first place…"

Lee felt something different from Naruto as his friend slowly transformed and knew that Naruto was serious about his proposition. The air around him started to feel more feral, as if it was transforming as much as Naruto was, and the chakra coming from Naruto himself felt primal, dangerous, and beyond anything else… powerful. He nodded in understanding as he started to go through the gates. "I understand my friend. Let us see whose flames of youth are truly brighter… Gate of Healing… open…"

"Lee!" Gai shouted in fear as he immediately knew what Lee was about to do. "Stop! Don't do it!"

"Kakashi-sensei… that's…" Sakura gasped as she saw Naruto's eyes slowly turn red and recognized what was happening.

Kakashi nodded. "Don't worry, Sakura, Naruto wouldn't use that unless he knew Lee could fight against it… to be honest, I think it's Naruto that should be worried if my guess is correct…"

Sasuke swallowed heavily as he saw the red chakra emitting from Naruto's frame. "That's the Kyūbi's chakra…? That is what the dobe has had in him the entire time…?"

"What's going on?!" Neji asked confusedly. "Their chakras are skyrocketing! And what is with Naruto's chakra? Why is there a red chakra there?! I've never heard of such a thing! It's even changing the nature of the air around us…" He stalled as he saw the seal on Naruto's stomach light up with his Byakugan. "… a seal?" He whispered in a daze.

" _Neji… there are other ways that seals can make a person's life miserable…"_ Naruto's words from his dinner at the Hyūga compound echoed through the boy's head. _"…there are some people that would do almost anything to have a seal like yours on their forehead than the ones that they already have on themselves…"_

Neji frowned. "… who are you, Naruto Uzumaki…?"

Shino frowned. ' _My insects are getting restless. Something those two are doing is greatly aggravating them…'_

"What the hell…?" Kiba mused quietly to himself. "The dead last's scent is changing. He's smelling more like a fox every second! How is he doing this?!"

Gaara frowned as he watched the pair get ready for the end of the match. ' _Show me how much you have prepared for our future trials, Uzumaki… show me how far I have to go before I feel I can protect those who are important to me efficiently…'_

"Gate of Life… open…" Lee muttered to himself as he focused more on his chakra, turning his skin red.

Shadow whistled. "Not bad… those brats have a lot of juice in them… I'm estimating that they're both at least Upper-class… C-ranks at this point. This is gonna be an interesting ending…"

Waltz nodded. "They have the power and the skill, all that is missing are the techniques to truly advance at this point in time… everything else will obviously develop as they grow older and their bodies develop… but for anyone, let alone a 13 year old, to be able access and release any the inner restrictions of his own body by sheer will is simply astounding… even I am not fully able to pull off such a feat so naturally…"

Crypt didn't say anything as he watched the boys focus on their inner powers, smiling not with a full blown grin, but with a small, subtle, and satisfied smirk…

"Hokage-sama!" Whispered one of the jōnin escorts near him. "That's the Kyūbi's chakra! We should…"

"Do nothing." Sarutobi interrupted authoritatively. "Naruto-kun has received training in order control it to at least this degree. Should anything happen, we will take appropriate measures, and not a second before then, do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes Hokage-sama." The jōnin stuttered, nervous that he may have just provoked his leader's wrath.

"Lee…" Naruto growled deeply as his canines and claws lengthened by small increments and his whiskers became even more pronounced. "You ready…?" He crouched down and crossed his arms to show his sharp claws. Everyone in the room was now feeling the beginning of what would end up being the nature of Naruto's Presence. Constant growls and wisps of air brushed by everyone's bodies, as if they were being mocked and stalked by small creatures in the wind that were just barely out of sight.

"Gate of Pain… Open!" Lee roared as a new wave of chakra flooded the room from the green clad taijutsu expert. Naruto didn't flinch. "I apologize for the wait Naruto-kun… let us finish this…" Lee muttered before he got into a starting position.

"The Feral Gale vs. the Emerald Beast…" Crypt chuckled to himself. "An interesting fight…"

Before almost anyone could react, Lee had charged at Naruto with such immense speed and power that he dislodged the stone tablets that made up the floor. Naruto at the same time slashed out his arms and unleashed a huge shockwave in response. The two forces collided, creating a huge bang that forced all but the strongest people in the room back from the displaced air. The struggle between the two forces continued for a few more seconds before Naruto charged forward to the distracted Lee and landed a massive blow to his head, launching the boy into a wall, but instead of crashing heavily into it, Lee managed to land on his feet despite the crater he none the less created from the impact. Lee instantly launched himself from the wall back at Naruto and the fight escalated.

How the pair maintained an airborne fight at such speeds was beyond the shinobi there as the two blurs collided a multitude of times, each collision resounding with a deafening BANG before they separated momentarily to repeat the process. Both sides unrelenting as the damage stacked on their bodies. Naruto, abandoning his blades for his claws and raw chakra techniques, and Lee with his ungodly speed and technique pounded on each other with no restraint whatsoever.

It did not take long however for the rush of energy to take their tolls on the boys as Naruto coughed up a hefty sum of blood and Lee's body spasmed heavily due to his muscles ripping themselves apart.

 _'I have to finish this now!'_ Thought both boys as they prepared themselves for the final clash.

Naruto quickly blazed through some hand seals as Lee stalled to focus for his final ace.

"Gate of Limit… OPEN!" Lee roared as a new surge of energy ran through him. Lee wasted no time rushing Naruto, who had just formed the cross seal that was used for the Shadow Clone Technique. "Too late!" Lee roared as he proceeded to pummel Naruto all over the arena with savage blows that would have caused the boy to crash into the nearby rooms or into the spectators had Lee not generously pounded the blonde in a different direction.

"Naruto!" Shouted the remaining members of Team 7 as they watched him get literally tenderized in midair.

"This is IT!" Lee roared as he blasted Naruto up in the air. What those who didn't have a dōjutsu, had several gates open, or was underneath the age of 1000 didn't see was that until that point, Naruto had somehow managed to block and deflect a good portion of the damage that Lee had managed to deal him and was quickly healing most of the wounds he was receiving. He was far from healthy, but he could still put up a good fight if given an opening, and that was something that Lee definitely did not want, so he decided to cut loose and finish Naruto off. He had long since seen enough evidence that Naruto could survive the Reverse Lotus, but the technique was forbidden for a reason, so he had hoped that he would not have to rely on it to finish the match.

" **Damn!"** The Kyūbi roared in surprise as he watched and felt the fight. **"If I were out right now, that brat would be THE most annoying flea I would EVER have!"**

"I thought I was the most annoying flea you had ever encountered?" Minato asked curiously.

" **I said flea, human."** Kyūbi replied firmly. **"Because you sealed me into the brat, you made your way up the food chain to my next snack…"**

Minato sighed. "And the difference is?"

The Kyūbi snorted. **"I don't eat fleas… I burn them off."**

"It's over!" Lee shouted as he almost instantly wrapped Naruto's waist with his bandages without the blonde noticing before appearing above him again and yanking him while one of his arms and legs descended with ungodly force. Needless to say that Naruto didn't even have time to react to what he was seeing or sensing before Lee pounded him hard enough to break through the sound barrier four times before crashing into the ground with colossal force, kicking up dust and creating a crater that everyone could see through the cloud. Everyone's vision was impaired by the large amount of dust and residual chakra in the air, so they had to wait to see what the final outcome of the battle was, as Lee had disappeared into the cloud almost immediately after it was kicked up.

"W…whoah…" Chōji gaped as he finally found his voice.

"You… can say that again…" Ino breathlessly replied.

Shikamaru frowned. ' _Did Naruto really just lose to Lee even with the Kyūbi backing him up, or did I miss something…?'_

Dosu was twitching madly. "These… these brats can't be genin… Konoha is mocking us somehow…"

Oboro was stuck. On the one hand, the Blonde had gotten the shit beaten out of him badly; on the other, it meant that there was a chance that he would be paired up against that green monstrosity in the finals now. He didn't know if he should call the current situation a lucky one or not.

"…An interesting conclusion…" Scabbard mused as the dust finally cleared away enough to reveal the outcome of the match. Naruto was lying motionless inside a massive crater at least 5 meters in diameter. Normally, it would be much bigger, but the tiles of the arena floor were obscenely thick and strong. Of course, no one knew this other than Lee, Ghost, Scabbard, and Gai, but none of them were about to say anything just yet. His clothes were scratched and cut an uncountable number of times and he was bleeding a fair amount from his stomach and his back as well.

Lee on the other hand was about a meter away from the crater and was not faring much better. His skin color and eyes had returned to normal, but that was pretty much it. His body was covered in cuts and scratches from Naruto's constant assaults and counter attacks, and his muscles had pretty much imploded on themselves at this point. It was a wonder how he could prop his body up at all.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata said sadly as she saw the scene clear up in front of her eyes.

"All right Lee!" Tenten cheered.

"It may have turned a bit more extreme than I would have liked, but it seems as if Lee's flames had prevailed in the end." Gai sighed in relief.

"You put up a wonderful fight my friend, but it seems that I have emerged the victor…" Lee rasped out as he barely managed to pull himself up. He looked around for Ghost, who oddly enough was in the exact spot he had been in when the fight started. Ghost paused for a moment, his expression unreadable as the dragon maintained eye contact with Lee with a curious glare.

Ghost finally nodded before stepping forward. "The winner of the Match is…."

Shink.

"Now I know you didn't miss me pull off that last trick, Ero-nii, so don't you dare try and end the match before one of us drops…" Growled a pissed off and raspy voice from behind Lee, getting a surprised reaction from everyone in the room. None more so than Lee, who had a single chakra blade protruding from his stomach.

Ghost chuckled in amusement as he saw Naruto crouched behind Lee with a hand placed on his back. "Well, you were taking too long to move your ass, brat. I can't hold out on people simply because I know something they don't. I gotta be a bit unfair at times to do this job…"

"WHAT?!" Roared a good majority of the people in the room.

"All right blondie!" Laughed Shadow. "Way to pull a fast one!"

"…But… how?" Lee coughed out. "The Reverse… Lotus…"

"You should have gone all out on me from the beginning, Lee…" Naruto replied. "You gave me a quick opening when you accessed that last gate of yours. I call it my Fake Switch Technique. I make a clone anywhere I wish within my range and replace myself with it almost instantly. That statue over there actually served a purpose other than making the room look more uncomfortable than it already is. Then I simply waited for my chance... although I did have to make another clone after you killed the first one with that extreme Lotus technique. I'll trust you with my life, Lee, but there is no way in hell I am gonna take a beating like THAT from you willingly, even if it is for a good fight…"

Lee chuckled painfully as he slowly dropped to his knees. "I see. Your flames could not be beaten so easily it seems…" He turned to Ghost and smiled. "As you can see, I cannot continue fighting…"

Ghost nodded. "Winner of the final match: Naruto Uzumaki!"

Naruto smirked as he canceled out the shadow clone playing possum, cut off the Kyūbi's chakra, and stopped channeling wind chakra so Lee could rest on the ground. "I think everyone here can see how strong you are now, Lee. Take a break, you need it…!" Naruto's smile instantly dropped as he started to cough up blood heavily and hunched over to the side.

"Naruto-Kun!" Hinata yelled in a worried tone.

"Dobe!" Sasuke yelled as he hung over the edge of the railings. Had this been the previous timeline, where no one had managed to dig deep enough into Sasuke's shell and connect with him, Sasuke would be more concerned with how strong Naruto really was and become more jealous of his power. However, due to their stronger bonds, the young Uchiha was focused on the large quantity of blood coming out of his teammate's mouth and his health.

" _Damn it, Teme! Why the hell do you think I don't use the Kyūbi's chakra if I know it gives me the same kind of boost?!"_ The words that Naruto yelled at Sasuke echoed through his head. _"It kills you from the inside out and makes you do things that you would NEVER do! Get a hold of yourself!"_

"Is this what you meant, dobe?" Sasuke whispered to himself as the pool of blood below Naruto's head spread out. "Were you trying to prevent that from happening to me?"

"So he didn't fully recover from last time after all…" Ghost mused as he put his glasses back on and flipped his hood off before lying Lee on the ground and stabilizing Naruto. "Waltz! Hana! Get your asses over here pronto!"

The pair wasted no time rushing towards the two swiftly. "You get Lee… I have more experience dealing with Naruto's brand of injuries." Waltz commanded as he took out a pouch of water and unscrewed it. Hana watched in surprise as the water from the pouch almost instantly as if by command and covered the old man's wrinkled hands, both of which immediately started to glow pure white as he approached Naruto and placed his hands on the boy's back. Waltz frowned as he registered what the damage to Naruto's insides were. "… damn reckless brat. Running that sort of power through his body when it's only partially healed… making things more complicated then they need to be…" He grumbled to himself as he started to mend and soothe Naruto's insides and started to push his thoughts into the boy.

' _Kyūbi, Minato, this is Waltz, one of Ghost's relatives. I know you can hear me, so do exactly what I say when I say it or I'll give both of you a surprise visit that neither of you will ever forget. Kyūbi, I want you to channel a bit of your chakra into Naruto, not a lot, just enough to balance what's already in his system with what I am currently focusing into him. The constant alternating of your chakra between off and full blast is making the healing process more difficult than it needs to be. Minato, you help regulate how much of the chakra is circulating in Naruto's system and keep the stream of chakra as steady as possible.'_ Waltz waited a few seconds as he continued to focus on cleaning Naruto's lungs. _**'**_ ** _TODAY WOULD BE NICE!'_** He mentally roared, loud enough that even the Kyūbi winced in nervousness.

Moments later there was a small additional stream of the Kyūbi's chakra running through Naruto's chakra system and maintaining a steady pressure. Waltz used the additional pressure as a guideline to measure how large his paths were normally and mended the irregularities that were injuring his organs. It was an annoyingly specific and downright anal-retentive process, but Waltz was not among the best healers around for nothing, and within 5 minutes Naruto was breathing properly. Unfortunately, he had passed out in the process and was lying in his own blood as Waltz proceeded to work on his other vital organs.

While Waltz was busy stabilizing Naruto, Hana was having a hay day with Lee. She had dealt with overextended muscles before, but this was ridiculous! Practically every one of Lee's muscles had imploded on themselves, and if that wasn't bad enough, the cuts that Naruto had given him had only made things worse as he continued to bleed out steadily. Thanking her luck that she had practiced on Ghost so many times after Anko had beaten him to nearly this degree, Hana started to heal the boy, first by closing enough of the large cuts that Lee would not bleed to death. She had almost not even registered the presence of the other medics arriving with a stretcher as she quickly managed the largest cut on Lee's chest, which had nearly cut his muscle suit in half. Nor did she see their gaping faces as she went through the procedure at a record pace before deciding to do some of the more superficial wounds, never spending more than a few seconds on each before moving to the next one.

"She's good…" Shadow mused as she saw Hana work rapidly on Lee. "… must have been hanging around Ghost a lot… he always was a good medical practice dummy…"

 _'Her methods and the steps she takes are a bit out dated, but the speed at which she is going through them is more than making up for that…'_ Kabuto mused as he watched Hana at work. ' _I was not aware that the village still had such a promising medical ninja in its ranks… and I can't even begin to try to understand what sort of jutsu the old man is using on Naruto-kun… I must inform Orochimaru-sama of the Ōgakari clan and these unnoticed factors soon…'_

Hana was about to start working on the chest muscles that controlled Lee's breathing when she noticed the other medic's staring at her. "Erm… sorry." She faltered. "I'll just get out of the way now and…"

The leading medic looked at Lee and shook his head. "By all means Inuzuka-san, we wish you to come and help us with the procedure. To be perfectly honest, your performance shows that you have greater skill at this than most of my men… including myself."

Hana blushed for a moment before becoming serious again and helping Lee onto the stretcher. "He is suffering from severe muscle degeneration all over his body and several lacerations. I have managed to deal with several of the more critical cuts as well as many of the superficial ones, but I haven't started on the muscles yet. He is breathing normally and his heart beat is a bit erratic for now, but both are well within management…" Hana listed her diagnosis as the group started to walk away.

Ghost sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "Well, that was a pretty good ending for the prelims, wouldn't you say Old Man? …I mean Hokage Old Man, not **Old** Old Man."

"I'll show you old, you little fucking…" Waltz grumbled to himself as everyone sweat dropped.

Sarutobi blinked for a moment before coughing to himself and walking forward. "Right… erm… yes. Now that the preliminaries are concluded, will the winners or their representatives please step forward for your instructions on the third round?"

"Kakashi…" Waltz called out. "Naruto is going to be out of it for a while, you take his place…" Kakashi responded with a shallow nod and a careless shrug as he shifted his forehead protector down again and took out one of his precious books.

Slowly, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Tenten, Shikamaru, Ino, Hinata, Shino, Dosu, Oboro, Temari, and Gaara made their way to the arena floor each momentarily staring at Naruto as they passed by him as Waltz continued to work with his odd medical techniques. Kakashi eyed the children around him. _8 from Konoha, 2 from Suna, and one each from Sound and Ame… an interesting mix…_

Ghost smirked. "To all of you brats who won the right to compete in the third round, even if you aren't conscious to hear me say it, congratulations. You have all proven yourselves worthy of being in the 3rd round by beating the living shit out of your opponents… except for Gaara, 'cause his opponent was a pussy." Kabuto's eyes twitched while the time travelers in the room desperately restrained themselves from bursting out in laughter. "Anyways, onto the rules for the next round…" Ghost took out a box from seemingly nowhere and held it in front of him. "You will all take out a single slip of paper from THE BOX…™. You can't switch papers with other genin once you have chosen, and you can't try again either. If you try something funny, I'll blow you up with an exploding cow…"

Oboro, Temari, and Dosu snorted in laughter while Gaara just blinked in confusion.

"Don't laugh! He's serious!" Hissed Ino, already suffering from ECF (Exploding Cow Flashback) syndrome. Ghost simply stood there and looked innocently at the twelve people in front of him.

"Now then, we'll order the lottery from the matches, so Sasuke's up first." Ghost said, prompting Sasuke to walk up and take a piece of paper from the box. The duck-butt headed lad opened the paper and read it.

"12." He stated simply.

Ghost nodded as the process continued. "7." Temari called out.

"5." Dosu growled.

"…9." Gaara droned out in a monotone fashion.

"1." Sakura said.

"3." Ino read out.

"4." Shino stated.

"8." Shikamaru yawned.

"11." Hinata whispered nervously.

"6." Grinned Tenten.

"2." Chuckled Oboro.

Kakashi shrugged as he took out the last piece of paper. "I guess that means Naruto has 10."

Ghost nodded as he started to write the names down on a piece of paper in front of him. "All right then. The numbers you guys picked out determine where you are placed in the next round of the exams…" He turned the paper around to reveal the roster, which raised a few eyebrows from many of the people looking at it. "As you can see, the matches are organized in groups of three. The first two numbers of each set of three will go up against each other first, and the third person in the group will fight the winner of that match later on. So for example: the first set of three is in order: Sakura Haruno, Oboro, and Ino Yamanaka. So, Sakura and Oboro will fight each other first, and Ino will then fight the winner of that match in the next round. After that, the pairings will be in standard tournament style until the winner is reached. In short, 2/3 of you will have to fight an extra match if you want to make it to the top compared to the other third."

Kakashi sweatdropped as he got a better look at how the matching were organized. _If Naruto wants to win the entire thing, he's going to have to beat Hinata, then Sasuke, then Shikamaru or Gaara, then the winner of the other half of the matching… ugh, I can hear him screaming about how unfair the matchups are already… especially after he nearly killed himself facing Lee in the preliminaries…_

"That's a bit unfair, isn't it?" Shikamaru complained, not really wanting to have to fight an extra match… although he couldn't help but mentally weep at the thought of being stuck in the half of the exams with possibly the strongest group of genin ever fucking recorded.

Ghost shrugged. "So? You guys are ninja, so deal with it. Odds are more than likely you'll get screwed harder than that when you reach chūnin rank and above, so this could be a sort of wake-up call to you guys."

"Um. Are we going to have the secondary match right after the initial matches?" Sakura asked curiously.

"You mean is the winner of the first match gonna have to fight number 3 right off the bat?" Ghost clarified, receiving a nod from Sakura. "No. I'm sadistic as all hell, but I'm not evil. Plus, I want to see good fights, not one-sided massacres. The first 4 matches of the 3rd round will be the early matches, meaning it's Sakura Vs. Oboro, then Shino vs. Dosu, then Temari vs. Shikamaru, then Hinata vs. dead boy over there." Ghost nodded his head towards Naruto, and mentally smirking as he saw Hinata's complexion pale drastically. "Then we go back to the beginning again with Ino fighting the winner of the first round, Tenten with the second, Gaara with the third and Sasuke with the fourth… that is of course, unless Hokage-sama has agreed to a small suggestion of mine…" Ghost grinned as he turned around and lured everyone's focus to the aged Hokage.

Sarutobi sighed as he walked forward before turning to Ghost and letting a small smile escape his lips. "… I was hesitant when you first brought the idea up, Ghost. Such changes are not seen that often… but after seeing these matches, I can see the logic behind your reasoning, and I am more than willing to bend the rules just a bit this one time…" His smile grew even more as everyone else in the room looked at him curiously.

"Will Chōji Akimichi, Neji Hyūga, Kagari of Ame, and Gai Maito in representation of Lee Rock please come down here." The old man ordered getting many surprised looks, especially from those mentioned as they slowly made their way in front of the Hokage. Sarutobi nodded his head to each of them before explaining himself. "Before the exams started, Ghost expressed concern that due to the format of the chūnin exams, as well as the potential of several of the genin entering, there would be more than likely several cases where some genin would be kicked out prematurely in the preliminaries should they occur, ones that possess qualities that would be wasted if left as genin for another 6 months. What he proposed was that me and several of my jōnin escort watch and evaluate your fights today. Should we find at least 2 genin who had lost their matches, but still revealed promising skills in their matches, we would bend the rules a bit and allow them to participate in special matches in the third exams…"

Whispers echoed throughout the room as the four in front of him expressed their shock, none more so than Gai. "Excuse me, Hokage-sama…" The large man interrupted. "But what do you mean by special matches?"

Sarutobi nodded. "The matches I am referring to will take place during the third exams, but they will be more restricted as well due to the number of fights we are already planning to have. There will be no roster for these fights; it will be a simple one-on-one match, and the winner will not continue on to other matches. The matches will also be put under a strict time limit. The participants will have at most 15 minutes to defeat their opponents and not a second more. Other than that, they will be judged the same as everyone else…"

"Wait. What do you mean by judging? I thought that the winner gets to become chūnin because the way the tournament is set up…" Ino asked out loud.

Sarutobi shook his head. "No, that is not how it works Ino-chan. There are judges so that they can watch how you perform in the matches and determine if you are chūnin material or not. The tournament is single elimination style, so once you lose, you are done. On the other hand, the more matches you win, the more you can show to the judges to prove your worth. From that logic, it is possible to say that everyone down here can become a chūnin at the end of the exams… but it is also possible to say that no one will, either."

"So being in the special matches means that not only do we have one chance to reveal our skills, but we are restricted time wise as well, forcing us to go all out from the get go…" Neji mused with a frown on his face.

"Yep." Ghost smiled. "You guys are pretty much the half time show considering your matches are between the rounds of the main event. It's cheaper than hiring some kind of band, as well…" He walked up to the four in front of the Hokage with another box. "Same as before guys. Neji…" Ghost offered the box. Neji winced as he moved his hands, seeing as they were still burned from Sasuke's match. "1." He said.

"3." Chōji grumbled.

"…4." Kagari whispered.

Gai smirked as he took out the number 2 paper.

Ghost nodded. "All right, so Neji and Lee will fight first, which will be right before the main event as an introduction fight to start things off. Chōji and Kagari's match will happen right after the fight between Naruto and Hinata to give the resting genin more time to recover their strength. Any objections?"

"Yeah!" Kiba roared out angrily while struggling against Kurenai's grasp. "Why the hell wasn't I picked for the special matches?! Everyone else in my age group is in the finals but me!"

One of the Hokage's guards walked up. "It is not that you haven't proven your skills in battle Inuzuka-san, but it is that you simply did not show enough prowess in your match. Your techniques and skills were indeed formidable, however, aside from that small stunt where you fooled your opponent, you did nothing but savagely attack him head on with no real plan other than to take him out. Kagari-san, on the other hand, utilized several techniques and plans in his match, showing his familiarity with various attack patterns and strategies, showing his ability to adapt. Hyūga-san revealed much talent for both his clan's fighting style, and quick thinking when several of his weaknesses were exposed in the middle of a match. Akimichi-san impressed us all by not only creating a new technique, but using it in conjunction with his clan's techniques and a B ranked ninjutsu at the same time to produce devastating results. Even jōnin have difficulty performing that many techniques at the same time, let alone combine them to work that well with each other. As for Lee-san… well, I doubt anyone in this room has any questions about his abilities and skills from what he revealed to us today…" He let his words sink in before continuing. "I have to remind you that if there weren't so many participants at this stage already, you would have indeed proceeded to the third round of the exams already, however that is not the case, and we are already stretching the rules by allowing these additional fights. Do you still have any objections?"

He waited a few seconds before continuing. "Good. Now then, the Hokage has a few more things to tell all you…"

Sarutobi sighed as he walked forward again. "… As we have told you before, the main event will be seen by a great multitude of people, from your families, to the daimyō of various countries. Each of you will fight to represent the strengths of your countries, so I would like for all of you to show off your powers with no reserves…" ' _Except for Naruto of course, but that much was obvious…'_ Sarutobi mused as he saw everyone in the room look nervously at said blonde. "… which is why the finals will take place in one month. The break will be used for preparations…"

"Preparations?" Sakura asked curiously.

Sarutobi nodded. "In other words, in addition to informing all the various country lords and shinobi leaders, this is the time needed to arrange for the gathering of the event… and it is also the preparation time for you examination students, to get ready for your matches, to know your enemies and yourself. It is during this time where you will calculate your chances of winning by analyzing the data you accumulated during the trial competition. The battles up to now had you fight as if you were in an actual combat situation with the assumption of fighting an unknown opponent. However, the finals are different. There are those who showed all that they can do already to their opponents. There are those who competed and were badly injured against a strong opponent. To make everything fair, the one month should be used by all of you to advance and improve yourselves. Of course, it'll be fine to rest your bodies as well…."

Stares and smirks were exchanged across the room as more details about the next exam were disclosed. Only a few people actually noticed Kabuto sneak out of the room…

o. o. o.

On the outskirts of the training grounds in Konoha:

"The preliminaries have ended, Orochimaru-sama… the finals will start in a month as predicted…" Kabuto stated to Orochimaru as he held his head low and crouched on one knee.

Orochimaru stared into the distance as a few birds flew on the nearby foliage. "You seem bothered, Kabuto. Is there something about the matches that I should be concerned about?"

Kabuto hesitated. "It seems as if Naruto Uzumaki is more powerful than we first anticipated. He displayed enough power and skill to take down a well-trained jōnin… in order to defeat an opponent that specialized in taijutsu and had opened 5 of the inner gates…" Orochimaru's eyes flickered momentarily as he processed the information. "He is also set up to fight against Sasuke-kun before Gaara is. Sasuke has indeed shown great prowess, but to be frank, I do not believe he can defeat Naruto-kun…"

Orochimaru remained silent for a few more moments before sighing and smiling to himself. "… it's become so serene… no, it's really become accustomed to peace… this village. Even in a time when it's said that the other countries are busy strengthening their forces…"

Kabuto raised an eyebrow. "Could we take it now?"

Orochimaru shrugged. "Well, yeah, though I'm not sure it would be much fun taking the old man's head at this point…"

Kabuto glanced at his master. "It seems… you are still hesitant to act…" Orochimaru frowned. "From now on, the various hidden villages will fight against each other in a long and massive battle, Hidden Sound included. You intend to be the trigger for all of this… and Sasuke-kun the bullet…"

Orochimaru smirked. "Heheh. You're so intuitive that it's scary…"

Kabuto mimicked his master. "Not really. I didn't know about those genin pawns from Sound you sent into the Exams, after all. You speak too highly of me…" He paused. "Although I still haven't earned your complete trust, it seems…"

Orochimaru shrugged. "Was there a necessity to even tell you about something as insignificant as those three? That is the proof of my trust… and that's why I may ask you to take care of a small task for me…"

Kabuto's eyes narrowed. "You want me to kidnap Sasuke?"

Orochimaru leaned back and relaxed. "It seems that the curse mark that I placed on him was sealed up, most likely by Kakashi or the Old Man judging by his ability to still perform jutsu and use his Sharingan without any side effects… not that it will have any effect, of course. As long as the darkness in his heart doesn't disappear, things will still go as planned." He opened his eyes. "It's the Kyūbi brat I am concerned with at the moment…"

Kabuto raised an eyebrow. "You want me to kill him? You seem a bit anxious to decide something like this so quickly…"

Orochimaru sighed. "Sasuke-kun lives for the sole purpose of killing his brother Itachi in revenge. He's a child who will never die until that goal is reached. …But when he fought me… he came at me without fear of death even though he knew he wouldn't be able to beat me. I didn't think he was the type to rush into a hopeless battle like that…" He took out a card. "According to your data, it looks as if his contact with the Kyūbi brat is changing Sasuke-kun's goals and heart. He is a child who has that much of an influence on Sasuke-kun… I must dye him in my colors soon…"

Kabuto frowned. "But if that's the case, wouldn't it make more sense to kidnap Sasuke-kun instead of killing Naruto-kun? Especially since doing so would also gain us the ire of… your former organization…"

Orochimaru shook his head. "… Sasuke-kun is going to be heavily watched now that Konoha knows that I am after him, and the fact that he is so skilled and still able to fight now will only make things more difficult. Naruto-kun, on the other hand, is another matter. From what we have both seen, he will become a major threat as he gets older if he isn't one now, and as such must be taken care of as soon as possible, and the best chance to do so happens to be now. With him out of the way, Sasuke-kun will most likely become much easier to obtain further on…" Kabuto put on a blank mask and nodded before he started to walk away. "Of course… if you wanted to stop me now, you could always kill Sasuke-kun instead…" Orochimaru hissed, shocking Kabuto greatly. "You can't kill me. You are good, Kabuto, but only about as good as Kakashi from what I have heard…" The silence between the two was deafening. "Kuku." Orochimaru chuckled. "I'm just joking, Kabuto. I have full faith in your abilities…"

Kabuto's demeanor relaxed as he gave Orochimaru an unstable look before disappearing in a whirl of leaves.

"I see you are still using that boy for your own means…" Gruffed out a ragged voice from around the building.

"Kukuku." Orochimaru chuckled. "What can I say? Such promising tools are difficult to come by. I just want to make sure I get as much as I can out of him before he finally breaks. If I am not mistaken, you employ a similar practice with your tools, right Danzō-sama?"

Danzō said nothing as he emerged from the shadows slowly with the soft clacking of his cane hitting the ground.

Orochimaru remained silent as he looked at the old man. "How is that arm I made for you? I assume no one knows about one of my … finer projects yet?"

Danzō frowned. "Still your tongue, Orochimaru."

Orochimaru chuckled as he shrugged. "Fine… have it your way. For what do I have the pleasure of seeing you this time… honorable elder?"

Danzō's demeanor remained the same for several more moments before taking a few more steps to Orochimaru. "… I assume you are proceeding with your plan?"

Orochimaru's grin widened. "Oh? So you have heard?" He licked his lips. "Yes. I am. I must say, I have found an interesting use for the… bodies that you have supplied me for my previous jobs. Seeing as you are coming to me directly, you want something done…"

Danzō made no motion that Orochimaru was correct as he reached in his robes with his normal hand and took out a scroll and handed it to the Sannin. "In here is all the information I have gathered on them. They pose a threat to me and all I have worked on…"

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow as he took the scroll and opened it up. "… and you don't want to risk exposing yourself or your group should the attempt fail?"

Danzō frowned. "They are more capable then they let on. Their knowledge of your little… project…" He shifted his hidden arm a small bit. "… is proof enough."

Orochimaru frowned. "… does Sensei know?"

Danzō shook his head. "They have set boundaries around me instead of exposing my activities. No doubt it is to instill fear in me and say to me that I am below them. Should I cross one of these boundaries, everything they have on me, as well as what they have on the other clans, will be open to the public…"

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow. "Boundaries?"

Danzō nodded. "In short, anything that they are involved with is off limits to me. If I cross that line, everything is lost. I don't want to risk anything at the moment considering the fact that they actually found out several… debilitating facts about me. This includes the Uchiha, the Kyūbi brat, a good number of the clans, their heirs, several high-level merchants, and the council are all off limits. And the number will only increase as soon as the rest of that blasted clan gets here…"

Orochimaru chuckled. "Kukuku. You mean you do not know already? The remainder of the clan is already in Konoha… in fact, according to Kabuto, they were there watching the preliminaries…"

Danzō's eyes widened in shock. "They're here already?!"

Orochimaru shrugged as he closed the scroll. "Of course. If they warrant that much concern from you, then being able to enter the village without your knowing should not be beneath your abilities… as for your request, I will take care of things on my end…"

Danzō frowned. "And your payment?"

Orochimaru smirked. "…it seems as if they have a few interesting trinkets and pets in their possession, according to Kabuto. As long as I get… first pick on a few of them, then I believe you can call us even…"

Neither men noticed the shadows around them ripple faintly…

o. o. o.

In the Ōgakari compound:

Shadow stretched as she emerged out of the darkness that was the hallway closet. "Hnnnnnaaahhhh." She sighed. "Well, that was interesting." She mumbled.

"You find anything out, Shadow?" Scabbard asked as he filed through the reports of the council meetings he has missed in the living room.

Shadow sighed as she sat next to the man. "Nothing much. Just Danzō asking snake face to take us out during the invasion. Apparently the pedophile wants Zuzushi and our weapons as collateral."

Zuzushi let out an irritated hiss as she rose her head from one of the small perches made for her in the house.

"Yes, we know you don't like being treated as a prize, Zuzushi. You don't have to remind us." Scabbard sighed.

Shadow sighed. "Where's everyone anyways? I was spying on that silver haired pussy for a good 5 hours… I know Waltz is in the hospital with Naruto. The brat did a number on his insides from what I could tell."

Scabbard shrugged as he moved some of the paperwork around. "Well, Ghost is most likely still in the bathroom in the tower since you did shove three boxes of dumplings and stir fry down his throat when no one was paying attention. I feel bad for the wildlife and the shinobi taking care of the tower there. As for Crypt, well, he's stuck with Waltz. He always was one to be in areas with plenty of blood flowing. Hospitals are of course among his preferred romping grounds…"

"Ugh…" Groaned a tired old man walking through the door. "I forgot how annoying it is dealing with beings that possess more than one type of energy…"

"So I take it that Naruto is healed?" Scabbard asked in a careless tone.

Waltz sighed as he nodded his head. "Yeah, he'll be better by tomorrow morning… I left him in the same room as Lee so he will have someone to talk to when he wakes up, god knows he needs someone to rant to in a hospital…" He paused for a moment before looking at Shadow. "Something wrong Shadow?"

The woman started to laugh nervously, which immediately set off major warnings for the listeners. "Um… well, you see… when I was spying… Orochimaru kinda gave Kabuto orders…"

Waltz raised an eyebrow. "To abduct Sasuke, like last time, right? There should be no issues then. Kakashi is tailing the boy till we all start training him and the others later this week."

Shadow fidgeted in her spot. "Those… weren't the orders he was given…"

Scabbard started to get up slowly and stared at Shadow. "Sister… please do not tell me that these new orders are what I suspect they are…"

Shadow gulped. "I didn't think it was a big deal since I thought Waltz was still at the Hospital…"

Scabbard frowned as he immediately tapped into an emergency communications line he had built into the house that connected directly to the Hokage's office in case he needed to send messages to the old man extremely quickly.

Waltz' eyes widened as he put together the pieced in his head. "FUCK!" He swore as he made his way to the door again. "Someone get Crypt and the rest of us will hurry to Naruto!"

Scabbard frowned. "Us? We thought he was with you! Crypt rarely leaves you alone when he knows you are going to a hospital. Especially if it's a NINJA hospital! You know. Ninja?! As in people whose job description practically includes bathing in the blood of your enemies?!"

Shadow laughed nervously. "Anyone wanna place bets on how many pieces Kabuto is in when they find his body?"

Zuzushi squeaked.

o. o. o.

At said future murder scene… I mean Konoha's hospital:

Hinata fidgeted as she walked through the hallways to where Naruto was supposedly resting after Waltz worked on him during the Exams. She knew that she had to keep her relationship with Naruto a secret publicly, but considering the fact that everyone in the village knew that she had a crush on him, a visit to his room while he's asleep wouldn't be out of bounds.

While it wasn't common knowledge, Hinata Hyūga hated hospitals with almost as much passion as one Naruto Uzumaki. She frequented the buildings fairly often in her younger days as a result of excessive and extreme 'training' practices in her clan compound, and they constantly reminded her of how weak she used to be and how people treated her. Her visits to the grounds had reduced to almost nothing since she started training with Hana and developed her extremely impressive range of medical techniques, but the lingering memories and the familiar scents were more than enough to send the girl down the more uncomfortable alleys of memory lane.

Hinata sighed to herself as she turned the corner. Perhaps she should go back home and talk to Hanabi and connect with her more. Things were more strained between the pair after she completely shot down her sister a year ago… honestly why was she even in the hospital in the first place? …! Hinata froze as she immediately activated her eyes. ' _Genjutsu…'_ She frowned as she built up her chakra and disrupted the illusions around her.

What once was a crowded hallway cleared up to show a barely populated passageway, with its only inhabitants shown to be unconscious doctors and nurses leaning against the walls. Something was seriously not right as Hinata's senses started to work on overdrive. She had to get to Naruto fast.

Focusing her chakra, the heiress dashed to the room where Naruto, and subsequently Lee were held. As she got closer, she could tell with her eyes that there was a third person in the room looking at Naruto from the doorway. He looked familiar, but she couldn't put her finger on it due to the panic she was going through. He went through several seals as he casually walked towards the blond. Hinata's blood ran cold as she recognized the order of the signs as the ones for the Chakra Scalpel Technique…

The next few seconds were a blur as Hinata moved faster than she believed possible, unconsciously turning off her gravity seal as she moved at an incredible pace to Naruto's room, watching as the man slowly approach Naruto with his hand reaching for the boy's head…"

"8 TRIGRAMS: HEAVEN BULLET!" Hinata roared as she twisted and thrust her arm out in front of her as she slid into the doorway, unleashing a massive cannonball sized chakra ball towards the assailant. The man only barely managed to dodge the attack, getting clipped hard in the side before it blasted past him and took out part of the wall and the nearby windows.

"Well, this is interesting…" The man chuckled as he checked up on his wound and slowly got up. "I thought that my genjutsu would be enough to distract everyone long enough for me to finish with my job… but to be stopped by the Hyūga heiress of all people…"

Hinata stalled as she recognized who her opponent was. "K-kabuto-san? Why are you…?"

Kabuto shrugged. "Naruto-kun is a threat to the man I work for, and as such needs to be dealt with… surely you know how things of this nature work out in our world…" He adjusted his glasses as he took a longer look at Hinata. "But for the Hyūga heiress to be this potential… getting through my illusions and unleashing such a potent attack so easily… there seems to be more at work than I realized…"

Hinata glared at the young man in front of her as she assumed her Jūken stance. "Step away from Naruto-kun and surrender now so you can be questioned…"

Kabuto smirked. "Can that even be done by a weak little girl like you?"

Hinata charged forward with extreme speed, shocking Kabuto and forcing him to dodge, but not before taking a few hits to his tenketsu. Hinata gave the boy a confident smile. "… you gave up before fighting Gaara-san, you attempted to kill someone in their sleep, and you don't seem to be able to fight well in any aspect aside from dodging… Ghost-sensei was right. You are a pussy."

Kabuto's eyes twitched as he was once again insulted. His accumulating wounds were not making things earlier. "… such language is unbecoming of you Hyūga-sama… much like your infatuation with Naruto-kun here…" Hinata froze as she realized that Kabuto was once again near Naruto and was holding a kunai to his neck. "It would be such a shame to lose him right in front of your eyes…" He smirked.

Hinata's rage peaked. "If you touch him, I will kill you in the most painful way possible…"

Kabuto chuckled. To be honest, he was merely buying time while he healed his wounds from Hinata's previous attacks. He would not admit it out loud, but the girl had surprised him to no end. In less than 30 seconds, the girl had backed him into a corner and displayed abilities that he could easily classify as extremely dangerous. "Say whatever you like Hyūga-sama, but it seems that I hold the advantage now…"

"Then it wouldn't be rude if I gave the girl a small hand, then…" Growled a deep and menacing voice from the other side of the room where Lee was, scaring the shit out of both ninja. Kabuto barely had time to move as a familiar and immense scythe appeared out of nowhere and nearly impaled his head, instead lodging itself deeply into the wall behind him. The pair then turned again to see Crypt Ōgakari walking towards Kabuto with a confident smirk on his face and a sharp look in his blood red eyes.

"Y-you're…" Hinata stammered.

"I don't know why you bothered with the tests, doctor; everyone knows it's never lupus…" Crypt grinned sadistically, sending shivers down the pair's spines. He was interrupted when Kabuto jumped with a kunai in an attempt to stab Crypt. Crypt however simply whipped out his leg and kicked the stunned spy across the room towards Naruto's side with unusual ease. Crypt deadpanned. "Road House." (A/N: Family guy reference.)

Kabuto grunted in pain as he attempted to get back up. Hinata was proving to be more of a challenge than he anticipated, however the addition of the Ōgakari was too much to handle. Taking in his surroundings, he paused as he looked at the scythe next to him. "… should you really be throwing your only weapon around like that?" He stalled. "It would be a bit of a shame if someone would use it against you…" Kabuto grabbed onto the shaft of the massive weapon and attempted to pull it out… only to scream out in pain and yank his arms back, hunching over them and breathing heavily and noticeably paler than he was moments before. "What?! What was that?! My arms!" He hissed as he attempted to move said appendages around.

Crypt cackled gleefully. "You'll have to excuse Fang over there. It's a bit of a greedy bastard. It just can't get enough reviews." The weapon pulsed in apparent irritation. "… I mean blood." Crypt cracked his neck as his body loosened. "Ah… it's always a bit of a relief having it off me… not sucking my blood by the gallons… it makes thinking SO much easier… but why do I always loose those throwing contests? I really should have more things to throw on me…" He cocked his head to the side as he walked towards his scythe casually, bit onto the shaft and yanked the entire blade out with no effort at all. "I hope you don't think I'll be easy to beat just 'cause I can't use my arms right now…" He leaned back at an awkward angle, placed the blade of the scythe on the ground, and somehow lifted himself off the ground using only his mouth and neck muscles to keep himself balanced at an impossible angle as he looked around and gave one of the doctors in the hallway an insane and hungry look, exerting an overwhelming Presence that matched his expression and froze everyone in their spots. "Although I am quite curious as to why you are laying on the ground like that…"

Almost immediately the said body was enveloped in a cloud of smoke, surprising Hinata but getting no reaction out of the homicidal man. Moments later, the Kabuto that was in the room collapsed as if his strings were just cut.

"Oh poo. The pussy ran away. And I was just about to catch him with a pokéball, too. Those annoying bastards are just impossible to catch…" Crypt mock pouted before setting his feet on the ground, whipping his head around and forcing his scythe to spin on his neck before it turned into a necklace again.

Hinata just stood there as she tried to comprehend what had just happened. The feeling she was getting from Crypt was absolutely terrifying.

Crypt looked at the girl with a bored expression. "You're scared of me, aren't you? You're thinking to yourself, how can a person like this even exist? Can he really be human?"

Hinata slowly nodded in response, unable to say anything at the moment. She had never experienced being in contact with a person like this before. Yes, she had felt killing intent. Yes, she had been in the presence of an overwhelmingly powerful person. Yes, she had faced people who were for lack of a better term could only be described at best as primal humans. But this was the first time she had ever experienced all these aspects coming from a sole individual.

Crypt smirked. "Good. That's how it should be." He bent forward so that he was looking the girl in the eyes. "…remember this, girl. In your line of work, you will encounter people just like me… sick, sadistic, bloodthirsty, obscenely powerful bastards that live for nothing less than money, sex, the occasional sick joke, or in my case, lots and lots of blood. As an enemy, as an ally, it makes no difference. Us monsters are everywhere, and there is nothing you can really do about it. If you freeze up like that around us, we'll eat you alive…" He grinned sadistically as he made a loud clacking noise with his teeth as he bared them. "So you better grow some pubes to go with that rack of yours, brat, otherwise you won't last long in the real world…" The man chuckled darkly as he walked across the room and sat in a chair near Lee's bed, leaning forward so that the shadows of his dark hair covered his face.

Hinata remained in her position for a fair amount of time before she started breathing normally again. Looking around nervously, she took note of the damage that was done. Her attack had created a 2 meter wide hole in the wall, and there was a deep gash in the wall right above Naruto's head… Naruto!

The girl rushed over to the blonde and quickly checked him with a diagnostic technique. Surprisingly enough, his condition was perfectly normal aside from a bit of small activity on his organs where she had no doubt been where most of his injuries were previously. Sighing to herself, she mentally thanked her boyfriend's luck that Crypt was there to save the day…

"Um… I want to thank you for helping us… but why were you here in the first place?" Hinata asked nervously, afraid that the man might snap and kill her in an instant. The stories about Crypt being crazy as all the circles of hell combined were not exactly a comforting description of the man.

Crypt chuckled. "I was here from the beginning, kid…" Hinata's eyes widened. "Spandex lad over there impressed me, so I decided to give him a little… gift as a way to show my appreciation. A show like that shouldn't go unrewarded, even if he did lose. Then pussy came in with those pathetic illusions of his. I simply decided to hide in the bathroom and see what happens…"

Hinata gaped. "B-but what if nothing happened?! Naruto-kun could have died!"

Crypt shrugged. "Then you suck more at detecting illusions than I thought. I could easily hear you blasting past the halls soon after the pussy walked in the room, and I was curious what you would do…" He grinned sadistically. "I'll give you points for the collateral damage, though. Reckless mass destruction is always a great way to relieve stress and solves so many of the world's problems…"

No sooner had Crypt said this than the unbroken windows of the room broke, yielding to a giant toad that barely managed to fit into the room and a very serious looking white-haired man.

"See?" Crypt smirked before giving the new arrival a disapproving glare. "And the failure makes his appearance… finally."

Hinata, on the other hand, was shocked. She had heard stories of the man, but seeing him in person was another thing entirely. There was no mistaking him, after all, who else alive had the toad summoning contract? "… Ji… Jiraiya-sama?" She stuttered out in a daze.

Jiraiya looked around the room before turning his gaze to Crypt. "… he ran away?"

Crypt chuckled. "The wuss couldn't handle being in the presence of a **real** psycho…"

The Sannin nodded before laying eyes on Hinata. Relaxing a bit, he took a few steps forward and gave the girl a critical eye. Hinata froze as the man looked her over, before noticing his face had gone from serious shinobi veteran to… perverted old man. "Well now… I heard the brat had landed himself the Hyūga heiress, but I didn't know she was such a cutie…" He laughed out loud as he completely ignored the poor girl's clearly confused and dazed look. "If he didn't have something to fight for before, he sure as hell is going to have one in a few years…" The man giggled perversely. "Hyūga women always did have a tendency to fill out rather well…"

"Jiraiya-sama!" Shouted an ANBU as a group of the ninja appeared in several puffs of smoke.

Jiraiya sighed before giving the new arrivals a half glance. "He escaped…"

The leading ANBU looked around the room and saw the gash mark above Naruto's head, as well as Crypt and Hinata. "And these two?"

"Pussy boy went fly fly…" Crypt said dreamily, back in his insane demeanor, causing everyone to sweat drop.

"Um…" Hinata spoke up. "I was going to check up on Naruto-kun and Lee-kun when I noticed a genjutsu designed to distract people from the area set up. All the staff were either knocked out or… killed when I undid the genjutsu in the area. I used my Byakugan to look around and saw that he was going to do something to Naruto-kun. I ran as fast as I could to get here in time, and barely managed to deter him from killing Naruto-kun. It was Kabuto-san, from the Chūnin Exams. He said something about Naruto-kun being a potential threat to his boss. We continued to fight until I made the mistake of letting him too close to Naruto-kun again when Ōgakari-san appeared, but he ran away soon afterwards."

Jiraiya looked at the fake Kabuto on the ground in front of him. "The brat is good… he stitched the face on this body in case he needed to make a quick escape…"

The ANBU in the room however, were looking at Crypt. "… Ōgakari?" One of them whispered in a disbelieving manner.

Jiraiya sighed. "Yes, the remaining clan members arrived a few days ago. This is the lowest ranking member of the clan, Crypt Ōgakari. Their arrival was kept secret on their request, just as MY presence is to be kept quiet on the request of the Hokage…" He frowned, letting his words sink in.

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama!" The ANBU replied at once.

Jiraiya turned to Hinata. "As for you…" He started authoritatively before letting lose a mischievous grin and leading the girl outside the room. "You are going to tell me all the juicy things that's happened between you and the brat so far. I need some new material to mess with his head, and there is only so much I can do by playing the old super pervert card, heheheh."

The young girl instinctively started to edge away from the man and give him a wary look.

Jiraiya sighed as he walked to Hinata. "I said I'm a pervert, girl, not a pedophile. I can't stand those sick freaks…"

Hinata sweat dropped as she was led away from her boyfriend against her will. She knew that Jiraiya was a pervert and was in the loop of everything she was involved in… but actually seeing the man in action was another thing.

The ANBU left behind however started to analyze the room. It wasn't long before one of them spoke up. "Captain! I found something… odd…"

The leader turned to the speaker to see what he meant, and immediately saw what he was talking about. The middle of the room, where Crypt Ōgakari was once standing, was now occupied by only a pair of pants. The people in the room were silent for several moments before they started to hear the screams of scared women from the village and hysterical laughter of the culprit.

The captain sighed. "Oh yeah… that guy is definitely an Ōgakari…"

o. o. o.

At a random park:

Kiba was silent as he sat on a bench, leaning against his sister.

"Hey, sis?" Kiba mumbled with a tired look in his eyes.

"Yeah, Kiba?" Hana sighed as she stroked her brother's head.

"You think mom will be upset that I'm the only one that didn't make it to the finals?" He asked.

Hana looked at her brother in a concerned manner. "Don't worry about it. You made it farther than I did when I first took the Exams. Hell, by all means you should have been in the finals if there weren't so many people in it already. Mom will understand."

Kiba sighed as he pet Akamaru, who had been shivering frequently all day long.

"What's wrong with Akamaru?" Hana asked curiously.

Kiba shrugged. "I don't know. He's been like this ever since he woke up from the match. All I can get out of him is something about the 'incarnation of blood', whatever that means."

Hana paused for a moment as she tried to translate what Akamaru had said before remembering something Ghost had told her about his family earlier. "… I think he's just shocked from being too close to Crypt-san's scythe. Ghost-kun told me that it is a special cursed weapon that drinks the blood of anyone who touches it, including its user…"

Kiba shivered. "That's a freaky weapon. How does he not die from using it though?"

Hana sighed. "He can use the scythe because he has a special power that allows him to manipulate his blood to extreme levels, Kiba. I don't know the specifics, but from what I can guess, Crypt-san simply reproduces his blood at the same rate his weapon drinks it… although I was also told that it reduces its intake for those it recognizes as potential owners…"

Kiba was silent for several moments. "…That weapon has extremely odd tastes in potential owners if it chose that guy as a candidate."

Hana frowned at her brother. "Don't say that Kiba. Crypt-san may be a bit odd, but…"

"CRYPT YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! PUT SOME PANTS ON RIGHT NOW! WE DON'T START STREAKING TILL NEXT MONTH DAMN YOU! THERE IS A SCHEDULE TO OUR PUBLIC CHAOS, REMEMBER?!" Roared a familiar enraged female voice, interrupting Hana's berating. The pair froze as Crypt Ōgakari laughed maniacally while running at a full sprint in nothing but his coat, his boots, and pink boxers on as he attempted to avoid Shadow and Waltz as the group tore down one of the pathways in the park, completely ignoring the people watching them.

"Speak for yourself, brat!" Waltz growled. "I am not exposing myself like that in public again! Last time, I got arrested and was labeled a sexual deviant! I am NOT going to let that happen to me again!" He roared as he took out some rope.

The following scuffle between the three clan members raised a cloud of dust that blocked the view of all the spectators for several minutes before things apparently calmed down. "Ha! I got you, you little turd!" Shadow shouted in victory as she stared at someone hanging and tied up from a tree. Her expression darkened however when she found out that she had hogtied Waltz… and that her shorts were missing, revealing her pale green boxer shorts.

"WHO WEARS SHORT SHORTS **I WEAR SHORT SHORTS!** " Crypt roared at the top of his lungs as he stood triumphantly wearing Shadow's shorts, giving him an even more bizarre look than he did when he first arrived, before running away at full speed."

"I… will… KILL YOU!" Shadow declared to the world as she enveloped herself in solid darkness, giving herself a feral appearance and a larger body before charging over the hill with a bloody war cry.

"Shadow, wait! We just got here! We can't afford to do any mass property damage yet!" Waltz screamed hysterically as he bizarrely broke out of his ropes as if they were made of string, then charging after the energetic pair.

"Wheeze… pant…" Kiba and Hana turned to see Scabbard running from the opposite direction. The triplets were getting more on edge and Akamaru's shivering increased. "I hate it when they start running at full speed like that." He gasped out loud to himself before turning to the pair. "You see where they went?" Hana pointed in the appropriate direction while sweat dropping. Scabbard nodded. "You still have the message?"

Hana nodded, getting a confused look from Kiba. "I'm gonna give it to mom tonight."

Scabbard momentarily smiled. "Good. The sooner we get these things sorted out the better. Have her arrange a meeting with me within a week..." He paused as a deep rumbling echoed from another part of the park. "Please excuse me, I have some family members that need to be maimed at the moment…" He groaned as he dashed to the nearest ground zero that Shadow most likely caused.

Kiba turned to Hana. "What that all about?"

Hana shook her head. "Sorry, bro. Clan business. Can't talk about it."

Kiba would have replied, but before he could say anything, a large dark green lightning bolt erupted from where Scabbard had just run off to. "… can we perhaps not talk about it somewhere else? I feel as if I am in mortal danger right now…"

o. o. o.

At the Hyūga Compound:

Hiashi was working in his private study diligently… okay, he was impatient as all hell to see what the current results of the Chūnin Exams were, the same as the leaders of half the other shinobi clans in the village. He had high hopes for Hinata and Neji, and he desperately wanted his daughter to advance to the finals so he could rub some more shit into the faces of some of the more annoying clan elders.

He was snapped out of his daydreaming by a knock on the door. "Hiashi-sama. Hinata-sama and Neji-san have returned from the Chūnin Exams and wish to speak to you…"

Hiashi sighed and got himself into character before responding. "Thank you. Please let them in."

"Of course Hiashi-sama…" The Branch guard replied before opening the door to let Neji and Hinata in.

Hiashi gave the pair a quick look over as they sat down. Hinata seemed for the most part untouched, however Neji was wrapped in bandages in several places, with an extreme focus on his hands. The clan head waited for a few moments as he looked at the pair in the eyes before speaking up. "I trust you come back with good news from the Exams?"

The cousins waited for a moment before nodding. "Yes father. Both Neji-nii-san and I are to fight in the finals… although Nii-san is only allowed to fight in one match due to some… restrictions…"

Hiashi raised an eyebrow. "Restrictions?"

Neji nodded. "There were preliminaries to enter the third exam after the conclusion of the second Hiashi-sama." Hiashi slowly nodded in understanding. "I was put up against Sasuke Uchiha… and ultimately lost." He said with shame in his voice. "However, Ghost-sensei had apparently guessed that there would be preliminary fights and organized secondary fights for the third exam for genin who lost in the preliminaries, but still performed beyond expectations. I am to fight my teammate Lee in a 15 minute long match. We will not be allowed to fight in any other matches that day…"

Hiashi nodded slowly. "And you, Hinata?"

Hinata's demeanor became more nervous and sad. "I managed to defeat my opponent from Ame faster than anyone else in the preliminaries…" Hiashi's eyes beamed with pride as he looked at his daughter. "… I am to face Naruto-kun… I mean Uzumaki in the finals, in the fourth main match…"

Hiashi's eyes twitched. He knew how much Naruto meant to his daughter, and no doubt the elders would have a field day when they found out. Sighing to himself, he could only hope that the hidden feelings of his daughter would not impair her performance in the Exams. "I… see. Is there anything else I should be aware of?"

Hinata and Neji paused for a moment as they looked at each other before slowly nodding and turning to Hiashi again. "… The preliminaries were watched by the entire Ōgakari clan." Neji stated, causing Hiashi's heart to skip a beat.

"Is that… so…" Hiashi stated carefully. "Did they… say anything?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes, but we were told that this information would need to be disclosed privately…"

Hiashi sighed as he formed a few seals to set off the silencing barrier. "There, no one can see or listen to us now. What did they say?"

Neji took out a scroll from his pouch and handed it to Hiashi. "Scabbard-sensei gave this to us right after the exams. He told us to give it to you and for us to be here when you read it, but he also instructed us to make sure that everything was private."

Hiashi nodded before taking the scroll and opening it and reading its contents. He had barely opened it fully when his face contorted to confusion, then shock before looking at Neji, who looked back at his uncle in curiosity and confusion. Gulping and sweating heavily, Hiashi put down the scroll. "Neji… can you… take off your headband and your wrappings?"

"Father?" Hinata asked nervously, uncomfortable with how her father was behaving.

"Hiashi…sama?" Neji said in a confused manner.

"Just… just humor me Neji…" Hiashi said.

Neji gave Hiashi a confused look before slowly nodding. Reaching up behind his head, the branch house member untied his headband, and soon afterwards undid the bandages that concealed his headband. As his forehead was exposed, Hiashi's and in turn Hinata's faces mimicked each other in shock. Neji frowned. "What is it?"

"Nii-san…" Hinata stuttered. "Your seal…"

"What about it…" Neji asked nervously, quickly activating his dōjutsu before donning a shocked expression on his face as well.

Neji's forehead was bare and clean, with no seal to be seen.

Hiashi turned back to the scroll and picked it up, reading the next section of the message.

_As you can see, Neji's Caged Bird Seal is gone. Before you panic, yes, he also has the new seal you asked for. It is located on his chest, right over his heart, however it would be harmful to the boy to reveal it at this point due the burns he received from Sasuke Uchiha during his match. We have included everything you have asked in the seal, and added a special function to it free of charge. The seal will slowly change the DNA of the wearer so that the body will naturally perform some of the seal's more base functions, such as erasing your bloodline when the user dies. While this by itself is almost meaningless, it will ensure that your future Hyūga generations will have more natural protection against people who desire your bloodline before they are old enough to be sealed, which is at the earliest the age of 3._

_Ghost has informed me that at the dinner he had at your compound a few weeks ago, several of your elders approached him with a request for a change to the original seal to make it mimic the Caged Bird Seal. They claimed that they would match and double what you were originally going to pay us to do their request._ Hiashi's eyes narrowed as he read this section. _Ghost, of course, agreed with them in order to keep them from doing anything stupid in the meantime. We pride ourselves on the quality of our work, but we do not support the concept of forcing individuals into servant-like positions (other than for practical jokes or lost bets), or systems that mimic the idea. Besides, with all the business that we have in the village so far, one small failed request will not pose any threat to us._ Hiashi mentally chuckled at that note.

_The reason why we asked for Neji and Hinata to be in the same room as you while you read the letter is because they will both play important roles for the night when the seal is delivered. The elders are under the impression that it is not fully completed yet. We will keep it that way. As long as they do not do anything irrational up to the night we arrive itself, there will be no issues with the plan. Until the meeting between our clans, have Neji and Hinata quietly spread word to all the trustworthy and influential Branch house members of the new seal and the impending change. It is important that Hinata gains more of the Branch house member's trust, as Neji will be with us and the elders when the shit hits the proverbial fan…_

Hiashi read on, analyzing the plan skeptically. To be honest, he highly doubted it would work, as it implied that the traitorous elders would be storing some hidden forces in the compound and the clan 'dealing' with them quickly and without issue. However, he had to remind himself that this was coming from the clan that had managed to not only figured out how to remove the Caged Bird Seal safely and created a far superior substitute within a three month time span, but had also managed to somehow apply BOTH to his nephew in broad daylight without the boy ever noticing, a boy that is praised as a prodigy in the shinobi arts. Sighing to himself, he rolled the scroll up and tossed it into his fireplace, where it promptly burned.

"I believe it is time I informed you two of the change the Hyūga clan will be going through very soon." Hiashi grinned as he gained his daughter's and nephew's attention. "… and the key role that both of you will play in it."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Argh. The second half of this chapter was so annoying to write for some reason… blarg.

Holy crap. 40 reviews in 1 week? That's the best turnout ever! Keep it up guys!

Anyways, some news. College just started for me again, and this time it's been turned up a few dozen levels, so there is more than a good chance that I won't be able to pump out a chapter a week like I have been normally doing so far. I'll let you guys know in the next chapter for the final results.

Next chapter will be all about screwing around with various councils and their heads, heheheheheh.

Anyways. To clarify some things for some people.

Apparently I wasn't clear enough with the whole chain link subject when I said that you have to be almost dead in order to get another link. When I mean almost dead, I mean it will take a Christmas miracle in order for said person to live, let alone walk again. Tsunade's coma does not count since I made her wake up and fight in the 1st chapter. Neji, Chōji, and Hinata were close calls, but they were still within healing possibility. Naruto had his spine shattered, a hand sized hole shoved through his chest, so close to his heart that Sasuke could more than likely poke it, had the muscles in his heart torn to such a degree that even the Kyūbi was shitting himself at one point, actually died at one point but was brought back by that Shion chick with her odd time space abilities, and finally was pretty much dead for the entire duration of the first chapter. Those are the kinds of 'almost' deaths I am talking about.

Anyways, review, worship the log, dance in your underwear, draw some art, and blah blah blah zzzzzzzzzzzzz.


	34. Wrapped around my little imaginary 6th finger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 34: Wrapped around my little imaginary 6th finger

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

Completely random phase of the day from one of my friends that I thought was hilarious: I have a 1 terabyte external sex drive.

o. o. o.

Inside the main council chambers:

Silence permeated throughout the room as the two sides stared each other down. On one end was the esteemed and highly respected members of the Konoha council. Every member chosen to represent the villagers and shinobi populace in the major affairs of the village. All their eyes were scrutinizing their guests, judging, contemplating, and planning.

On the other side, were Crypt, Waltz, Shadow, and Scabbard Ōgakari, with Zuzushi resting on Waltz's head. Mercenaries with almost no background at all, yet each possessing skills and talents that even most Kage would be wary of. Their eyes were closed and they all had snot bubbles coming out of their noses, as they were all asleep and apparently not giving a rat's ass that they were in front of the village council.

"I like them already…" Chuckled Shikaku Nara, getting a smirk from his old teammates in response.

"Hokage-sama." Growled a member from the civilian council. "Are you sure that this… clan, is truly worth our time? They do not show us the proper respect, yet they wish to reside here in Konoha…"

Tsume snorted. "Proper respect? From the Ōgakari? That'll be the day. I thought you would have expected this from dealing with Ghost already…"

Hiashi raised an eyebrow. "Yes… that reminds me, where is our current top assassination specialist? You would think he would be here to… add… to his family's presentation…" He worded carefully, knowing full well that the room was going to delve into pure chaos at some point relatively soon.

"Ngh…" Scabbard yawned as he apparently woke up. "Ghost is currently preoccupied at the moment due to an… unforeseen incident that came up several days ago…"

Shadow chuckled evilly as she woke up. "Ah yes. It was about time I re-acquainted him again with the porcelain gods, heheheh…"

No sooner had the girl started to express her glee then the door to the meeting room crash open from a savage kick via a pissed Ghost holding a black rope in one hand and a storage scroll in the other, getting odd looks from everyone as he whipped the rope around his head like a lasso and caught Shadow before she could react. The girl's eyes widened with fear as she attempted to drag and bite herself away from her brother, but was foiled when Ghost whipped the rope with surprising strength and slammed the woman hard against the nearby wall several times, putting her into a concussion based delirium. Ghost wasted no time in rushing up to Shadow, tying her up so she couldn't move her arms or legs, gagging with a cloth stuck in her mouth, then immediately throwing her over his shoulder like a sack of flour. "Come, Crypt. I have a scroll full of peanut butter and I know where the fiercest squirrels that you will ever see live." Ghost ordered darkly, ignoring the looks that he was getting from the council.

Almost immediately, Shadow returned to the world of the conscious and started to thrash about hysterically, making as much noise as she could possibly make… before Ghost grabbed her by the feet and swung her into the wall again, leaving a hole where her head had impacted it and knocking the girl out again. Crypt on the other hand, cackled maniacally and walked forward without saying anything coherent aside from "Bye- bye, Ice cream man!" and passing by the ninja section of the council in particular. The three made their way out of the room, although it would be noted that Ghost was waddling something fierce while screaming about revenge.

While the attempted kidnapping was taking place, Waltz and Scabbard groaned out loud and turned to each other before playing a few quick games of Janken which Waltz won, much to Scabbard's displeasure. Scabbard then stretched for a few seconds before following the clearly more unstable part of his family out of the room. "Odds are they're going to the Forest of Death. I'm following them so that nothing… unfortunate occurs. Just to let you know ahead of time, you will receive reports of a woman screaming bloody murder and several explosions. For all our sakes, please ignore them." And with that, Waltz was left alone to face the annoyance that was known as the Konoha council.

The council members sweat dropped as they processed what the hell just happened.

Zuzushi simply yawned and curled up onto Waltz' head again.

"Don't worry." Waltz groaned. "We're only that rough with our family members. We can take a fair amount of damage before anything actually gets serious."

"So…" Sarutobi stalled, unsure how to react to what he just saw. "I guess we will simply interview Waltz-san today…"

Waltz sighed. "If I didn't know them better, I would have assumed that they planned to ditch me here alone…" Zuzushi growled. "You don't count, Zuzushi. I'm not going to translate for you, not after that time you made me embarrass myself on live television… they never let me on daytime talk shows again after that, even if I did cure five deadly diseases in a week single handedly…"

"Ōgakari-sama…" Spoke up one of the civilian councilors. "Is your clan always so… energetic? I seem to recall that there was a large commotion in one of our parks a few days ago involving several members of your clan… including yourself, and a pair of pants."

"To be perfectly honest, yes, we are that energetic, as you put it. However, all of us make sure that no one innocent gets involved with our more radical… activities… physically, at least… this time… hopefully… if we're all lucky… please?" Waltz's demeanor hunched over more and more as he continued to dig his own grave as the listeners produced an increasing amount of sweat drops with every word.

Hiashi raised an eyebrow. "Are you insinuating that the general public is in danger should they come in contact with your clan members?"

Waltz paused. "If you mean are they in danger of being harmed, broken bones, death, or otherwise, no. We all have more control than that. If you mean in danger of being caught up in elaborate pranks that may or may not scar a person for life depending on whether or not we like said persons… well, let's just say that even Tsunade wouldn't bet against something happening eventually…" Waltz laughed nervously. "Luckily though, I hear that you already have a resident prankster in the village that pulls off similar stunts, so we tend to just team up with said prankster and go with his style." Waltz chuckled, seemingly ignoring several people in the room starting twitch rampantly.

"I hope…" Danzō spoke up in an irritable tone. "… that you don't assume that we will simply accept that kind of behavior from your clan without receiving anything in compensation… and to my knowledge, we do not know what you and your grandchildren Shadow and Crypt will contribute… if they can at all…"

Waltz sighed. "Of course we will lend you our services. It's what we've done so far, and it is what we shall do here. Obviously, we will not divulge everything we can do. That would be silly. However, I can inform you of what each of us can do for the benefit of your village…for the most part." He noted the hungry eyes of several of the council members.

"Well, let's start off with me, then." He breathed out as he sat down on a nearby chair that had been provided for him. "I am, as you can see, a very old man. I have seen many odd things in my travels in far distant lands, and as such have much experience in many fields. My main field of profession, if it hasn't been disclosed yet, is the medical field, followed shortly by hydraulics and botany." He turned to Inoichi Yamanaka. "Haku-chan has had much to say about your flower shop Yamanaka-san. I am personally eager to talk to you later about the various plants and herbs in your collection."

Inoichi smiled. "I look forward to it, Ōgakari-san."

Waltz chuckled. "Just call me Waltz, or old man, or gramps. I was never one for formalities."

Danzō coughed. "Back to your medical abilities… Ōgakari-san. I have a report here that said that you healed most of the more dangerous injuries caused in the preliminaries with an odd technique that resembled the Mystic Palm Technique, and displayed an even more peculiar one involving covering your hands in water when you were handling one Naruto Uzumaki. Both of these techniques were proven to be far more advanced and efficient than what any of our own medical shinobi can perform… can you elaborate on these techniques?"

Waltz smirked briefly as he looked at Danzō. "My techniques are impossible to perform for anyone else, and due to the fact that they are clan secrets, I will not reveal how I can heal so efficiently." He took out a pouch of water from his coat and unscrewed it. Almost instantly a steady stream of water rushed out into the air and stayed there, much to the shock of the council. "… I cannot disclose how I came to possess this skill, either." Waltz made the large quantity of water circle around the room several times at a lazy pace before sending it back to the pouch again and screwing the top on. "However, I believe it would be enough to at least show you that I am capable of doing such feats…" Waltz smiled.

"Impressive." Sarutobi mused out loud. "I have not seen someone so proficient in manipulating water since my old sensei, Tobirama Senju, or when I encountered one of the elders of the Hyōton bloodline in the second war…" He paused for a moment before continuing. "… so in terms of work, should I assume you are going to be spending your time in the hospital, or are you going to put on an apron and help Inoichi's wife with the shop?"

Waltz chuckled. "I think I'll be at the hospital most of the time, Hokage-sama. I prefer to mend wounds, not make them…"

"You have talked about your abilities, but why have you not spoken about your sword skills?" Asked Shikaku curiously. "I highly doubt you would carry such an impressive blade on you just for appearance's sake."

Waltz' demeanor darkened a bit before answering. "… Indeed, I am quite proficient with this blade… however, I prefer to use it as an absolute last resort. If it is acceptable, I would prefer if no more questions were asked about my sword or my kenjutsu… all that I will say is that I will never separate myself from this blade."

"That is well and good, Ōgakari-san…" Started one of the more confident members of the council. "… but what of the other two members of your clan? Forgive me for saying this, but I find it difficult to believe that a man who is in a straightjacket can assist the village significantly in any way…"

"You wouldn't be the first to say that, either…" Sighed Waltz. "Since you mentioned him first, let us start off with Crypt. Crypt, for most intents and purposes, is an idiot." Waltz paused for a moment as he enjoyed the reaction from the people listening to him. "A good majority of what he says is complete gibberish, he frequently takes off his pants any time he wants, and he has an unhealthy rivalry with the floor. It should also be noted, though, that he can unnerve almost any competent and reasonably sane adult with a 5 word sentence." Waltz took in a deep breath before continuing, ignoring the looks that everyone was giving him. "However, this does not mean he does not have skills that are not useful. Crypt will be with me during my rounds in the hospital for two main reasons. The first is that I'm the only one that can control him efficiently and makes sure he doesn't do anything too stupid. The second, and more important reason is because he has an affinity for blood."

"You don't have to tell me that twice…" Shivered Tsume Inuzuka, gaining everyone's attention. "The second that guy walked by me, I thought I had come in contact with someone that had just rolled around in a warzone's worth of bodies. I've smelled guys that smelled like blood before, but this is the first time that I've smelled a guy that makes blood smell like HIM."

Waltz nodded. "While his behavior is childish at best, Crypt is the best hematologist there is, even if his methods are a bit… different. With his powers, he is able to diagnose and treat most injuries, poisons, and diseases as fast as I can, sometimes even faster depending on the type of injury and how it was applied. This, of course, means that he can apply the same techniques to himself as well." He ignored the disbelieving look that he received from the people in the room. "He is also an earth element specialist, but he does not use those abilities frequently. Other than those and his high fighting skills, he has several other interesting qualities, but we cannot divulge that information just yet."

The council members nodded in agreement, knowing full well that they may have just hit the proverbial jackpot with this clan in many different ways. "… And the girl?" Spoke up one council member.

Waltz sighed. "Shadow is… unique compared the rest of us. She can wield shadows to perform various attacks and actions, much like the Nara clan, only she is can do much more with her shadows than you would expect. Unfortunately, many of these additional powers of hers are clan secrets, so I cannot speak of them all. She is, however, exceptionally bright despite her childish personality, and can probably perform most jobs you give her fairly well… given that her boss isn't a complete ass or tries to hit on her, of course. Then it's really just a matter of time until another body is found…" He stalled for a moment. "Also, it should be noted that we have mathematically proven that her temper is inversely proportional to the size of her sweet tooth. Just to give you a decent idea of what I am talking about, she cleared out that fancy candy store on the main street several days ago after she bought several samples of everything in the building and jumped headfirst into a vat of chocolate cake icing while it was still being mixed." Several council members sweat dropped.

"What about this demon that is supposedly sealed inside of her?" Asked Shibi Aburame, deciding to steer the conversation another way. "I seem to recall Ghost-san mentioning it occasionally during our meetings…"

Waltz shrugged as the people in the room glared expectantly at him. Slowly, he raised his hand until he was pointing to Zuzushi, who was still sleeping on top of his head. "You're looking at her." He stated simply, causing many jaws to drop.

"You're kidding me…" Gaped one of the councilors. "That little… pet is…" He didn't get to finish, as Zuzushi had instinctively and almost instantly crossed the distance between Waltz' head and the speaker's head, wrapped her tail tightly around the man's neck, clawed onto his face and was glaring directly into the man's eyes with smoke coming from her mouth and nostrils.

"Yeah… we don't call her the 'p' word." Waltz stated in a clearly bored tone. "She really doesn't like that." He paused for a moment. "Well, don't just stare at her, apologize already." He lectured as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"S-sorry?" The poor man squeaked out. Zuzushi glared at him for another half a second before blowing a cloud of smoke into his face and flew back lazily to Waltz' head, where she immediately fell asleep again.

"So, are we to assume that that… creature… is the demon sealed inside your granddaughter?" Danzō asked curiously.

Waltz shrugged. "Yes and no. This is more of a… temporary body she can make if she wants to go outside of Shadow and explore a bit. Her real body… is well… a bit… bigger…" Waltz was obviously downplaying how large Zuzushi's real size was judging from how nervously he was laughing.

"Are we to assume that Shadow-san has sufficient control over her tenant?" Asked Chōza apprehensively.

Waltz sighed. "She has as much control as an older sister does her rebellious younger one. They get along and have surprisingly similar personalities, but that doesn't mean they won't go after each other's throats every now and then." He reached up and started to pet Zuzushi. "But in all reality, she's very quite logical and intelligent. Egotistical, yes, but that comes with the obscene amount of power she's achieved over the years… although if you want to freak her out, she's scared shitless of squirrels when she's this small." Waltz took his hand away from Zuzushi as the small dragon immediately tried to bite one of his fingers off, causing the old man to laugh. "Though I wouldn't recommend it, she has a bit of a temper problem, and she rarely leaves any revenge scheme unfinished."

"How do we know that your… demon, won't go berserk or break out and kill us all?" The Haruno council member asked.

Waltz chuckled darkly as Zuzushi glared at the woman angrily. "Zuzushi is not some sort of lower being that lets her emotions get the better of her over petty reasons, nor is she some sort of wild animal. " He smiled confidently as several people in the room shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "If she wanted to destroy this village, then the village itself must have given her a good reason to do so. It is as simple as that. But…" He sighed as he shrugged his shoulders. "If you really must know, each member of the family is capable of calming down Zuzushi when she is enraged… to some extent at least. The easiest way to prevent something like that from happening is simply not to antagonize her. I trust that the people of this village are not stupid enough to piss off a dragon demon... are they?" He quirked up an eyebrow, and several council members either frowned at the man or swallowed heavily.

"Duly noted." Sarutobi sighed. "Now that we have your clan's skills and abilities out of the way, perhaps we can discuss other subjects…"

"Agreed." Smirked one of the more pompous councilors. "I suggest that we conduct experiments on the Ōgakari demon so that we can learn how to kill the…" He stopped due to the immense pressure that radiated in the room coming from Zuzushi as she growled deeply.

"Did I forget to mention that she can understand every word we are saying and that she has an IQ of roughly 180? The only reason why she isn't also a part of this conversation is that her vocal chords aren't developed enough when she's this small." Waltz said in a bored tone. "But if you really want to push your luck, by all means, keep talking. Hell has no fury compared to that of a female demon dragon's wrath." The idiot wisely sat down without saying anything else. "Are there any intelligent questions to be asked?"

"Yeah, I have a couple." Shikaku asked in a bored tone. "If one of you guys causes trouble in the village, which one of you guys do we report to?"

Waltz nodded in understanding. "In most circumstances, you would send the message to either me or Scabbard. If neither one of us is available, then Ghost is the next in line, then Shadow. Crypt… well, unless he is actually making sense at the time or if you feel like killing a few brain cells, it would be best not to talk to him. If all else fails, you can always tell Zuzushi to give us a message or ask her to do something. Even at this size she is probably more than enough to take down a few chūnin or a weak jōnin. What is your other question?"

Shikaku glared at the man. "If we ever need to send you out separately into the field, but still in teams, how would we classify each of you?"

Waltz smiled as his demeanor relaxed. "If we should be sent to the battlefield, in the best case scenario, I would be a front line soldier. I am, as you can tell, built like a tank, and can take and deal sufficient amounts of damage, plus with my healing abilities I could last longer than most shinobi in that position despite my age. Ghost is a sensory specialist that is also quite exceptional at assassination and picking off the remaining forces from a battle incredibly quickly. He is also adept at spying and information gathering, but not so much as Scabbard. Crypt is an incredible intimidating force in battle, and as such can be positioned in the front line as well, or in the supporting wave to offset morale. Shadow is pretty much a user of all, master of none. She is exceptionally skilled in various arts, making her a viable piece in any area, but aside from her abilities manipulating Zuzushi's power and spying, she is not exactly the best in any one category. Scabbard is a supporting combat specialist, as he prefers to attack via mid and long ranged combat. He is also quite capable at finding information, as you all have already heard about his spy network, and is intelligent enough to determine hidden facts from the smallest details, making him an ideal strategist." The man relaxed in his chair. "Of course, that isn't to say that we don't have experience in other fields as well, I'm just listing off where we would be best located. If you were asking about our overall strength in general though… I guess you could consider us all elite jōnin level... or kage, if you're feeling generous."

The shinobi in the council slowly nodded in understanding as Waltz explained the various traits of his clan, while Danzō made mental notes on them so he could use them later. They were interrupted, however, when one of the most disliked civilian council members stood up in anger. "I cannot take this anymore. I apologize Hokage-sama, but I refuse to believe that you are willing to let this… demon loving clan into our village! We have enough trouble with the Kyūbi brat as it is, and ever since these…PEOPLE arrived, it's only gotten stronger! I say we kill the demons and simply kick the lovers out of the village!" He roared. The council chambers broke out into chaos as the civilian council for the most part supported the man while the shinobi council and the civilians that weren't idiots tried to point out that their opponents were being complete morons at the moment.

"QUIET!" Roared Sarutobi, silencing everyone in the room. "I cannot believe that members of our own council would be foolish enough to threaten a new and powerful clan just as they arriving!" The Hokage lectured angrily before getting interrupted by a snoring sound.

"zzzzz… snort… wha?" Waltz asked dumbly as he woke up from the nap he was taking while the shouting was taking place. "Is the meeting over yet? It's not like I have anything planned, but I do have better things in mind that I could be doing than ignoring threats with no backing." Waltz yawned, obviously getting a rise out of a good portion of the civilian council and a good laugh out of the shinobi council.

"What!" Roared the original offender. "No backing?! You wrinkled old man, I'll have you know that I am from a proud noble family that has managed to support Konoha's economy with our brilliance for generations and…"

"It all equates to nothing when you are stuck in a room full of accomplished assassins." Waltz yawned. "You're nothing but talk, and you rely on your family name whenever you can't do something by yourself. I'm going to play the same game as you, but I'm doing it just for kicks, because you wouldn't win, be it how amazing my clan is or how much we have already done for the village." He smirked as he stood up and straightened his back with a series of pops from his spine, showing everyone in the room how monstrous the old man really was, almost reaching 2.5 meters in height and making someone like Ibiki look like a dwarf.

"If I remember correctly, this is a shinobi village, not a normal village, so logically, shinobi based achievements would be far more appreciated than others. In the past year and a half, my clan has established several trading agreements with many of the shinobi clans here that have increased the quality of not only their products, but the performance of some of their specialties as well. In addition to this, we also have established a spy network that is already receiving accurate information from roughly 2/3 of the elemental nations, including but not limited to Kumo, Suna, and Kiri. We have aided in training some of the strongest genin that have ever been seen since the Sannin, as well as also increasing the quality of several of the jōnin in the village, and we have helped obtain a new bloodline limit AND one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. And that was with only two of our clan members." Waltz smirked. "So if you want to compare what our respective clans have done for this SHINOBI village… be my guest." Waltz finished off the speech with a confident grin and a gentle twinkle in his eyes.

Silence permeated the room for several moments before Tsume started to clap slowly in a drawn-out manner. "… brilliant." She chuckled. "I honestly couldn't have said it better myself. You, my friend, have definitely earned a place here in Konoha."

Waltz shrugged his massive shoulders before hunching over again so that he was only pretty damn tall instead of freakishly huge. "To be honest, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I just wanted that annoying brat over there to shut up." The old man nodded his head to the speechless civilian councilor who was still too stunned to even glare daggers at the old man.

"Yes… well… please try to at least avoid getting into these kinds of situations in the first place please, Waltz-san." Sarutobi coughed. "That being said, do you want to inform us of anything before we close this meeting, seeing as your clan appears to be for the most part accepted into the village?"

Waltz shrugged. "Well, aside from asking the clan heads to see if it was all right if we could train their kids in our private training grounds for the entire month before the third round, not really."

Hiashi raised an eyebrow. "Private training grounds? Wouldn't it be counterproductive to have so many students train in the same area when some of them are facing each other in the finals?"

Waltz smirked. "I don't think that will be a problem. In fact, I was going to ask the clan heads with family members in the finals and the Inuzuka, to come to our clan compound to see our grounds for themselves. We were actually looking forward to training some of the genin for the exams anyways after we saw how well Naruto had performed under Ghost's tor… I mean tutelage, and we were curious as to how far they could excel under the right teacher."

"Are you implying that we aren't the right teachers for our children?" Shibi asked in a calm tone while adjusting his glasses.

Waltz shook his head. "Far from it… in most cases, at least. What I'm saying is that while your clan techniques are indeed powerful and useful, they lack that extra creativity that my clan and I have used and faced in our travels. I am already assuming that you are aware of how well your children have progressed under Ghost's tutelage, even though he has occasionally steered them in directions that they normally would not have gone before, such as Shino Aburame's gauntlets and his new taijutsu skills, or Hinata Hyūga's medical training. These changes to their training have benefitted these genin so much that many of them are already being considered for promotions to special jōnin as soon as they have some experience being chūnin, yet many of them have yet to learn from people who specialize and are extremely experienced in their own field of practice." Waltz stated. "What my clan is simply doing is addressing these potential paths that members of your clans have not or will not take note of and opening their minds so that they can have their own style later on."

"And you are telling us that the five of you will be training all twelve of the genin there?" Chōza asked curiously.

"Oh, god no." Waltz deadpanned. "We will be getting help from their jōnin-sensei, as well as Zabuza, Haku-chan, Anko-san, and Hana-san as well to make things more manageable." He paused as he looked around. "…don't worry. Crypt won't be doing any teaching." A breath of relief echoed throughout the room.

"So when do you think we should visit your clan compound?" Shikaku asked curiously.

Waltz shrugged. "Anytime really, but the earlier the better. Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Shikamaru, Tenten, and Lee are already in our private training grounds getting ready for the exams with Kakashi, Asuma, Gai, Zabuza and Haku there training them. The only ones I would recommend waiting for a while are the Hyūga." He looked a Hiashi. "It would be best if Hinata and Neji arrived after our little business meeting later this week. Does that sound reasonable?" Hiashi nodded slowly, ignoring the looks that he and Waltz were receiving from everyone else in the room.

"Wait, you've been down there already Shikaku?" Inoichi asked curiously.

Said Nara shrugged lazily. "Yeah, Scabbard showed me a few days ago when I brought Shikamaru over for his training. It's… impressive, to say the least. I'll leave out the troublesome bits for you to see when you visit the place for yourself."

"Am I to assume that people other than clan members are allowed to visit your clan training area?" Danzō asked curiously.

Waltz shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. Our training area is only accessible through the main building, and the path to get there requires us to pass by several of our private rooms. Only a limited number of people are given permission to train there. The clan leaders are allowed to visit the grounds because they are currently engaged in business transactions with our clan, and the Hokage is allowed because we like him…" Several people sweat dropped. "As for our students and fellow teachers, we let them in because 1. Ghost has trained with them long enough to gain all of their trust, and 2. They know that if they betray that trust, they will have to deal with the exceptionally morally depraved punishments that they will receive. Said punishments will even be worse than they expect since they have not yet spent time with Crypt and Shadow, so they don't know how disturbing they can be."

"We'll take your word for it." Shikaku yawned.

"Hokage-sama!" Yelled an ANBU as it appeared into the room. "There have been multiple reports of a woman screaming and large explosions coming from the Forest of Death! While this normally wouldn't be a cause for concern, it should be noted that the forest should not be in use today!"

Sarutobi looked at Waltz. The fellow old man simply shrugged before going to the door. "I know Scab said not to do anything, but to be honest, leaving him alone against Ghost, Shadow, and Crypt in the middle of their merry making is a bit unfair, even for us. Besides, this meeting was just a formality. We'll have a real meeting some other time…"

"Stop right there!" Growled Koharu. "Are you truly so rude and careless as to simply walk out in the meeting with the village council?"

Waltz sighed. "No, but unless you don't want to risk losing a fair portion of the Forest of Death, you'll let me go so I can tame the rest of my family. Shadow hates squirrels as much as Zuzushi does, and she might go overboard when trying to escape."

Said dragon squeaked in agreement.

"Just let him go." Sarutobi sighed as Waltz walked out the door. "This introductory meeting really is more of a formality than anything, and Kami knows how badly formalities mix with that clan."

o. o. o.

Elsewhere, in the training area underneath the Ōgakari clan compound (if any of you have forgotten what it looks like, just think of the training grounds that Urahara keeps on making in Bleach, just with some more trees and small streams.):

"I said I'm sorry, Sakura!" Naruto screamed hysterically as he barely managed to dodge another chakra enhanced punch that shattered the ground.

"Sorry doesn't cut it this time, Naruto!" Growled Sakura. "You had over a year to bring back my memories and you wait until NOW to give them back to me?! Even Shikamaru had his memories back before I did!" WHAM!

"That was because we couldn't raise any more suspicion!" Naruto cried, still running for his life. "It was weird enough that all of us were progressing at the rate we were! Imagine what would happen if an academy student of all people started running around using Baa-Chan's strength techniques! Oh crap!" Crunch!

"And you are any better?!" Sakura roared. "You were using the Kyūbi's chakra like no tomorrow this past week! You even drew up enough attention to give Orochimaru reason to kill you instead of kidnapping Sasuke-kun!" Boom!

"And what would have happened if I gave you your memories by then?!" Naruto countered. "You would have tried to kill the snake bastard in the forest and gotten yourself killed or gain enough interest for him to kidnap or mark you instead! Unless you can heal yourself in your sleep, I don't think you would last that long!"

Sakura froze as Naruto's words registered with her. Sure, she had helped out before she got back her memories against Orochimaru, but now that she remembered all the shit she had to deal with concerning Sasuke because of the rogue Sannin… she probably would charge in head first and try to rip his head off with her bare hands… keyword try. "… damn." She spat out in irritation as she dropped her fists.

"Is it safe to come out yet?" Shikamaru asked as his head popped up from behind an upturned rock.

"Holy crap!" Zabuza whistled to himself as he himself emerged from hiding. "I thought you were kidding when you told me she stopped being useless after I died and became Tsunade's apprentice."

"She inherited her master's temper as well." Chuckled Jiraiya.

"You do realize she can hear you, right?" Haku asked with a deadpan expression on her face.

"You know, my chakra control still isn't up to where it was three years from now, so I think you would survive if I punch you with all my strength now…" Sakura growled as she cracked her knuckles and approached the unnerved swordsman.

"Thankfully, that is one test we will never conduct." The threatened Zabuza said sagely before jumping out of the way of a thrown rock.

"Careful, she's a good medic as well, so if she catches you she can make you suffer longer than most women." Chuckled Kakashi as he and Asuma walked towards the group. "So, now that Sakura has joined the group, we can start the meeting. First off, training."

Naruto nodded. He had been ecstatic when he had finally met Jiraiya again after so many years. It was a very touching moment between the master and student when the sage showed up soon after Naruto started training to learn how to use earth style techniques… followed by Naruto beating the shit out of the white-haired pervert due to the fact that Minato had told him about all the times that Jiraiya had peeked on his mother when she was alive, even going so far as to base the first Icha-Icha book after his parent's honeymoon. It disturbed the boy to no end that several thousand lonely perverts had whacked themselves off to most likely the night and moment he was conceived.

Needless to say, Naruto NEVER let that information out. Ghost would never have let him live it down.

"According to Ero-nii, I can't use any summoning, the Kyūbi's chakra, Sage Mode, or any Rasengan variants in the finals because there are rumors going around in Iwa that 'a brat that looks like the Fourth' is in them. I can't give away anything yet that would connect me to my dad, so I am training to use the earth element with Kakashi-sensei and Ero-Sennin (Zabuza snorted at this point), along with several earth element techniques, not including an earth element Rasengan. Right now I have a little over 1000 clones on the other side of the training grounds trying to grind a bunch of leaves to dust, but since this isn't my natural affinity, it may take a while for me to get a hang of it. If I can get the techniques down, I'm supposed to go to Waltz-san for some extra control training so I can use my Seventh Sense better, though why I'm going to him for that training I don't know. I've already signed the toad summoning contract, though, and passed Gamabunta's test while no one else was in here, so there shouldn't be any worries about seeing any boss sized summons here during the training period. I am going to be re-acquainting myself with most of the smaller sized summons in my spare time just in case though."

Jiraiya snorted. "You forgot to tell them how you nearly gave Ma, Pa and me a heart attack when you showed us you could go into Sage Mode while moving. I swear I've never seen that old bat Shima actually speechless before that day in my life."

Naruto smirked at his teacher before turning to Sakura. "Ero-nii told me that since you got your memories back and already have a decent arsenal of techniques, your training is going to be focused around physical conditioning. It's going to be mostly stamina building, chakra control exercises and evasion practice for you, but apparently Waltz-san is also going to give you some taijutsu lessons in your spare time in order to make your moves more fluid."

Shikamaru stepped up. "I'm supposed to do speed and stamina exercises until Shadow comes… then I am supposed to kiss my ass goodbye, according to Ghost… troublesome. I also heard that Shino is going to be split between Gai and Shadow when he's not reading up on his clan's scrolls. Other than that, I think I'm supposed to learn a bit more water elemental training from Haku and Zabuza."

Kakashi sighed. "I'm in the middle of teaching Sasuke the Shadow Clone Technique so he can train faster. He has large enough reserves that training like that won't pose much of a threat to him as long as he only uses a few clones at a time. He'll learn Chidori again, as well as some lightning element composition. Afterwards, he's split between Zabuza and me, learning how to control his Sharingan better and be more fluent in kenjutsu. Ghost told me that he wants me to teach him something else later on as well, but to keep it a secret. Why? I have no idea."

Zabuza grunted as he stretched himself. "Yeah, I'm pretty much spread out between lazy boy, red eyes, and unfortunately the girl that's most likely going to stab her future husband to death with a ninja store's worth of weaponry for a shiny new knife. Luckily, Scabbard told me that he's also going to teach her some more about seals in order to save me the misery." He chuckled as he took his sword out, showing everyone the new design. The general shape of the blade was the same, but it was clearly narrower, despite the fact that the hole in the middle and the curve near the base of the blade were roughly the same sizes as before, if not only a little bit smaller. It also looked like it was reinforced with a darker new alloy that apparently was an extremely strong and light material that could channel chakra fairly easily. On the pommel, though unnoticed in most cases, was a storage seal that could hold a quite sizeable amount of water in it. All in all, it looked, and made Zabuza a happy little killing psycho ninja… person. "I gotta say though, the man knows how to juice up a sword."

Asuma nodded, as his blades also got a minor upgrade, being also made out of the same material that Zabuza's sword was made of. "I'm in charge of Chōji's training, and am also going to help out Tenten with her sparring skills against people with odd chakra enhanced weapons. Ghost gave me instructions on what Chōji should learn in order to defeat his opponent. I've only read the beginning, but it looks like he's going to need to learn more earth element composition before he can pull off whatever Ghost wants him to learn. From what I've heard, Ino is going to study under Anko with a little help from Haku on the side, and Hana is taking Kiba for herself for the entire month. Kurenai-chan is going to also help Chōji a bit with his genjutsu detecting and dispelling skills, as well as helping out Ino with her training, although I'm guessing she just really wants to hang out with Anko some more."

"What about Neji and Hinata?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Hinata is going to be spending most of her time with Lee and Gai so she can improve on her taijutsu and speed while Lee still gains experience against a strong Jūken user." Jiraiya stated with a shrug. "In the meantime, Neji is going to study under Ghost and Scabbard so he can also increase his speed and muscle reading skills. They told me that they're going to put him up against you in some practice matches so you can get used to fighting a Jūken user as well, brat, so don't be surprised if Neji comes by during the month to fight you." Jiraiya said to Naruto.

"Ugh, great. A whole month of sparring against prodigy Jūken users. I can't wait." Naruto groaned sarcastically.

"Jiraiya-sama, how are Tsunade-sama and Shizune-sempai?" Sakura asked curiously.

Jiraiya smiled. "Don't worry about those two. They are alive and well, and remember everything, I have the bruises from Tsunade's bone crushing hugs to prove it. They're still wandering about for now, just in case Orochimaru escapes our traps during the invasion and he needs to go to her again to heal his wounds. They're remembering everything can be a good or bad thing at the moment considering it means that both of them desperately want to vivisect Danzō as soon as they see him."

"Tell me about it." Groaned Zabuza. "I can't tell you how many times I've been stalked by that guy's masked cronies over town."

Shikamaru sweat dropped. "Um… you know those could be simply ANBU following you. You ARE still on parole."

Zabuza shook his head. "I made mental notes on the ANBU that the old man sent to keep an eye on me from time to time. These guys aren't on the list, and they gave me a bad feeling whenever they were nearby, like I got a few times while I was still on the run from Kiri. It's a quirk you pick up when you're a missing-nin on the road. Either you have it, or you're dead."

Naruto nodded. "I'll be sure to tell Ero-nii that the next time he comes here."

Sakura looked around for a moment before turning to Naruto. "Hey Naruto, are there any people that know that we know the future… or a future in this case?"

Naruto shook his head. "The less that people know, the better. As long as we can guide them and say we got some intel from Scabbard's spy network, there should be no reason to tell anyone anything." He looked at Sakura's skeptical look. "It's for the best, Sakura. If people knew that we knew what was going to happen in the next few years, or at least had a good idea of what would happen, they would get overly dependent on the information. Remember what happened at Wave?"

"Yeah, you nearly gelded me, brat." Growled Zabuza irritably, ignoring the odd looks he was getting from everyone else in the area.

"I'm talking about the Kusa-nin that joined the fight, smart one." Deadpanned Naruto.

"So?" Zabuza replied.

"… Ignoring Captain No-Brows for the moment, the point I was trying to make is that too much information can be as dangerous as too little. It's really easy to get too comfortable with knowing how most major events are going to play out, or knowing what our strongest opponent's abilities are. The more people know we know these things, the bigger chance something like this could happen."

Jiraiya nodded. "He's right, Sakura. In worst case scenarios, the information we were relying on is completely wrong and kills someone who was overly dependent on our info. This results in people not trusting us anymore, or believing that we work for the enemy. Similar situations have happened during wartime, and let me tell you that the end results are not pretty. I would say that it would also be bad that people think we have seen the future, but considering who started this whole mess in the first place, I doubt anyone will actually take that rumor seriously."

Sakura turned to Jiraiya. "But things are already bad! Sasuke-kun already has the curse mark and…"

"And it will last a grand total of 10 seconds max against any member of Ero-nii's family if they truly wanted to get rid of the thing now." Naruto answered immediately. "The only reason why they haven't gotten rid of it already is because they want to see if they can modify the seal so that it doesn't screw with Sasuke's head, but still gives him the extra chakra boost in case he's in a pinch. Kimimaro's alive again, and if the snake bastard escapes alive this time he will send him for the kidnapping, and let me tell you that guy is NOT someone I am looking forward to fighting again, Sage Mode or not."

"Kimimaro?" Asuma asked curiously.

"I think I remember him." Shikamaru said. "He was that troublesome guy that appeared at the last second just as we were about to take Sasuke back to Konoha during the mission, right? Even those Sound Four guys were scared of him."

"He is apparently the last living member of the Kaguya clan." Jiraiya replied. "The rest of them died out in a huge fight when they tried to revolt against Kiri during the bloodline purging… although some say it was because of them that the initial purging started."

"A Kaguya?" Zabuza asked incredulously. "I heard of them. They can manipulate their bones to do all sorts of weird things. They were supposed to be ridiculously hard to kill because of their hard skeletons, and had a hell of a mean temper to match."

Naruto shivered. "This one was even worse, even if he was completely calm most of the time. He was REALLY strong, strong enough that even Ero-nii warned me to treat him as if I was fighting a member of Akatsuki if things go bad. Bushy brows told me when he came back from the retrieval mission that he could make his bones shoot out of his fingers really fast or stick other bones out like spikes to hurt you if you got too close. Apparently, he's supposed to be suffering from some kind of lethal disease, which was the only reason why Lee and Gaara won their fight against him."

"Gaara? You mean that kid that you said was the next Kazekage?" Zabuza asked curiously. "Isn't he supposed to be in town for the Exams and remember everything by now? Why isn't he down here with us?"

"He's still playing the role of a spy for us." Shikamaru replied. "Gaara is a large part of the invasion plan, and if he is seen coming in and out of the clan compound here it will raise suspicions and result in troublesome questions being asked. Ghost and Kakashi will occasionally meet up with him since they have the best stealth and knowledge of the village combined. That being said, only the sensei are allowed to go back into the village during this training period since they naturally stand a better chance of surviving the invasion… and because it would look odd if only you were allowed out all the time, Naruto." He added in after getting a look from the annoyed blonde.

"Nice cover up." Zabuza chuckled.

"Well then, it's time to continue our training." Kakashi stated as he took out another book to read.

Haku sighed. "Yeah, training…"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Something wrong Haku?"

Haku shrugged. "It's nothing really. I'm just kind of annoyed that I have to make up a majority of my hyōton techniques from scratch since I'm the last of my bloodline…"

Sakura blinked. "Wait, hyōton techniques?" She turned to Kakashi. "Kakashi-sensei, didn't you copy a few of them during that mission to snow with princess Koyuki? I'm pretty sure that you used that giant whale technique on that iceberg…"

"And it was the size of a small island, Sakura." Kakashi replied. "I need a large and preferably cold body of water near me if I even want to hope of using that technique again… although now that you mention it, I do remember some smaller ice techniques that you could use in more various areas… I'll go through my list of ninjutsu later and see what I can get for you. Although personally, I don't know why you are so upset about your range of ninjutsu, Haku. The new techniques you made are pretty powerful already, and your list of wind and water techniques are nothing to scoff at either…"

"Kakashi, my eternal rival! Why did you not tell me that there was a youthful meeting?" Yelled the loud and unmistakable voice of Gai as he and Lee approached the group. Luckily, Jiraiya had managed to get out of sight in time, as Gai was not one to be able to keep a secret, special jōnin or not.

"Oh god, not this guy again." Groaned Zabuza.

"Sorry, Gai." Kakashi chuckled. "You were on the far side of the training area and I guess I just forgot about you."

Gai pouted. "That is most unyouthful of you, my rival. However…" Gai looked around himself, taking in his surroundings and the majesty of the training grounds they were in. "… it is somewhat understandable considering where we are. This training ground is very youthful indeed. I am somewhat curious as to how the clan managed to create such a place underneath their compound so quickly…"

"I wouldn't ask them if I were you." Naruto said warily. "They would most likely just tell another story about their travels and boast how they saved a kingdom armed only with a spork and a set of toenail clippers."

"Ah… a classic." Kakashi chuckled as he walked away with what remained of his face hidden behind a book. "Anyways, I'll see you guys later, I gotta check up on Sasuke and make sure he didn't kill himself training yet."

Naruto stretched himself out. "Yeah. Now that I think about it, a good number of my clones have canceled themselves out by now. I gotta fill in their ranks again. I gotta talk to Sakura about some… important things anyways…" He gave Sakura a serious look to prevent her from asking anything else.

Zabuza sighed. "I guess Haku and I will go back to that Tenten girl then." He shivers. "I swear, that is the only female on the planet that can scare me that much that isn't one of my ex's…"

Haku pouted as she walked by her father figure. "That is mean Zabuza-sama… I've been keeping you in line for years and yet that girl sets you off in less than 6 months. I guess I have to try harder then…"

"Oh you're up there Haku. I'm just waiting for puberty to hit you full force before I categorize how bad you really are." Zabuza stated in a serious tone, getting everyone to sweat drop a bit.

"Come on Shikamaru." Asuma sighed. "We'll play some shoji while we're waiting for everyone else for a while before we actually train. It will be one of the few peaceful moments you'll have left before Shadow gets to you."

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed as he followed his sensei.

As everyone left, Gai stood in place smiling as he thought of Lee and the flames of youth, completely clueless that he was left alone.

o. o. o.

In Iwagakure:

"Oh goodie…" Groaned Ōnoki as he looked at the latest report and pictures from Konoha. More specifically, he was looking at the profile of Naruto Uzumaki. "So this is the brat that Kurotsuchi was having her second period in the month over, huh? He looks like that brat Minato sure, but those marks, eyes, last name, plus he's an orphan." He shuffled through some papers that described the boy's life. "Chronic prankster, not liked throughout the town, loud and obnoxious… honestly. The only thing this brat has in common with the Fourth is his looks! Even his birthday is on the same day as the day the Kyūbi… attacked… Konoha… oh, you have got to be kidding me…" The old man sighed as he had a good look at Naruto's picture again. Whiskers and slit eyes that made him look just like a fox. "God fucking damn it..."

Ōnoki was many things. He was an old and cranky man. He was short. He had a secret collection of Icha-Icha stored in his office, much like the Third Hokage; his advisors could say what they want, but Jiraiya was the god of perverted literature as far as he was concerned. But most importantly, he was a highly experienced shinobi and leader of an entire village of other shinobi. He knew how to read people, regardless of their personalities. He had never met Minato Namikaze before, but his reputation as a calm and collected shinobi that was incredibly loyal to his comrades was not exactly a secret among his enemies, much like his Flying Thunder God Technique. He was a hero type, the kind that would sacrifice himself to save others… the kind that would, in order to save as many lives as possible, give up his own arms… or his family…

"A jinchūriki… huh?" Ōnoki said quietly as he looked at the boy's picture and read his background again. He was well aware of how containers of Bijū were treated, his village being the home of the four and five tails' containers. The profiles matched up almost to the letter… which was a bit concerning, since the boy was clearly related to Minato in some way. Whether the boy was actually his son and not some distant nephew or something was yet to be determined.

Ōnoki was not a pompous idiot… okay, that may be a bit of a stretch at times, but the point was that he did not go out of his way to kill people just because their fathers pissed him off... although there had been exceptions, when time was of the essence and things needed to be done. Ōnoki knew that even if Naruto was Minato's kid, it didn't mean that the kid was responsible for what happened during the Third Great War. Heck, if it weren't for the fact that Minato had completely wasted his forces, the old man would have gone out on a limb to say that the Namikaze was a fairly respectable person, unlike that prick Danzō.

Unfortunately, the same logic didn't spread to a good number of his forces, who still held bad blood against the man known as the Yellow Flash. It was one thing to be nearly unstoppable on the battlefield in small skirmishes, but to take out over 200 Iwa-nin in a single fight was the equivalent of unloading one's bowls on the defeated for many people in Iwa, even if they were not related to those who were taken down by the man.

… Then again, if the boy ever mastered Hiraishin and grew up to be an unruly character, it would be best to take a more… active course of action, just in case. Looking through the reports, he saw that the Konoha genin entering the finals were apparently the greatest batch ever produced, more than half of them being genin for roughly half a year at the most. This new clan that recently joined Konoha have been all over the place, training genin and taking high level missions. Apparently the one that did the assassination missions has taken the blonde as his own personal apprentice… but other than that, there were scattered bits of information about the clan as a whole. Ōnoki glanced at the tournament lineup to see who the blonde was fighting. First was the heiress of the Hyūga clan, Hinata Hyūga, then there was the last Uchiha in Konoha and apparently the boy's best friend, Sasuke Uchiha. Ōnoki shivered at the thought of one particular Uchiha that he had managed to catch a glimpse of during his younger days. Madara Uchiha. If there was ever a monster in shinobi's skin, it would have been that man.

Shifting his gaze over to the next block, Ōnoki saw it was occupied by two of the current Kazekage's children and a Nara. Personally, the Tsuchikage liked the current Kazekage, if only for the fact that the man could play the role in a presentable and respectable manner. He was a bit ambitious at times from what he could tell with his few meetings with the man, but technically, that should have been one of the qualifications of being a Kage that was never really put on paper… along with having an indescribably large amount patience, and the willing to develop and deal with an early case of carpal tunnel syndrome.

Ōnoki chuckled as he remembered the subject being brought up while smoking a pipe with Hiruzen Sarutobi. It had been during one of the few meetings that they had managed to get together for reasons other than avoiding war at all cost. The old men liked each other fairly well despite the fact that many of their citizens would like nothing better than to unleash all 9 bijū on the other's village. Hiruzen was a bit softer than he would have preferred, but then again, he had also seen the old monkey at his worst, and he would not make that mistake again. Still, it was pleasant to talk about the 'good old days' - what with being the only Kage over the age of 60 around - , and complain about how reckless and stupid these latest generations of shinobi were, as well as jokingly argue who was going to cop out of their respective positions first. Minato had died so soon after taking office that Ōnoki decided that at best Sarutobi's break could be considered an extended vacation. Oddly enough, neither one knew if the one who dropped out first was the winner or the loser at this point.

It also didn't hurt their relationship in that they were the self-proclaimed strongest old perverts on the planet… not that they actually admitted it in public, of course.

Continuing to look at the rosters, Ōnoki was a bit surprised to see heirs from a good number of Konoha's clans all participating, as well as some genin from Rain and one from that new Sound village he was hearing rumors about. Most of those rumors … well, they weren't good. Still, these Chūnin Exams were proving to look quite interesting, with or without the potential child of Minato Namikaze fighting in them. It wasn't every year that almost a dozen clan heirs beat the living daylights out of each other in front of an arena's worth of people. Something in his hips was telling him that the Exams were going to be particularly interesting this time around… or that he needed to see his chiropractor again.

After making some popping noises in areas that were uncommonly heard popping, Ōnoki got to work writing a pair of letters to a couple of old drinking compatriots. One was easy to find, the other was wandering around the lands of Iwa… somewhere… hopefully…

After he finished writing the letters, Ōnoki pondered how he was going to break it to Kurotsuchi that she wasn't going alone on this recon mission… without getting his head blown off.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Gaara was quiet as he looked up at the full moon. Even though Jiraiya had managed to fix his seal several days beforehand so he could actually sleep without Shukaku taking over or eating away at his mind, he still had insomnia and the conversion was more difficult than first anticipated. Plus he somewhat enjoyed nights when the moon was full, even if Shukaku was a bit more active during then.

As soon as he found some time to himself, Gaara had started training so he could do some of the tricks he had developed after this point in time. Some were a bit taxing despite the fact that he held a demon of raw power in his body, but it was better to know the techniques and perform them now then put them off and get killed again. After his encounter with Deidara, the (ex?) jinchūriki spent an enormous amount of time developing his defense and evasion techniques so that he would not have to rely on being stuck in a complete shell of sand in order to avoid getting hurt. He found out too late that his special stash of sand was too valuable to waste all of it on one task at a time.

Still, he couldn't help but think he was forgetting something tonight. As if something was supposed to happen… oh well. It couldn't be that important if he couldn't remember it off the top of his head.

"You sure got me… don't you sleep?" Growled Dosu from the roof below him.

Oh that's right, HE was the reason why Dosu never showed up for the finals in the previous timeline. Silly Gaara. Hahahahehooooo fuck.

"… What do you want?" Gaara asked in a bored tone, hiding the fact that his mind was running on overdrive in order to find a way out of the current situation.

Dosu smirked beneath his wraps as he shifted his sleeves above his gauntlet. "I was planning on getting you when you were asleep, but it seems that's not an option at this point. You see, I want to fight Uzumaki or the Uchiha, and you pose a potential threat to that desire since everyone seems to be wary of you. That being the case, I'll just take you down now so I have a better chance of facing them in the finals… I doubt any of your attacks are faster than sound…"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. He was well aware of the fact that Kabuto and Baki were watching him from a good distance away from here, and were expecting him to do something due to the state of his previous unstable persona, but he wasn't a mindless killer anymore. "… I would prefer if you left me alone… I won't guarantee you will live if you fight me…" He droned emotionlessly.

Dosu smirked as he charged forward. "Heh, if you are this weak, then taking out that blonde on your team will be just as easy!"

And thus Gaara had an excuse to kill someone. Later on, he would consider how odd it was that he had successfully killed the same person twice in the exact same way both times, but then he would just shrug it off before threatening to kill Kankurō to make him shut up for the third time that day.

"Wow… he sure went down fast…" Kabuto mused as he watched Gaara capture and crush Dosu almost instantly with his sand.

"Are you sure that's alright?" Baki asked curiously. "He was from Sound… I thought he was supposed to test Sasuke's strength."

Kabuto chuckled sheepishly. "No, it's all right. We have other plans for Sasuke. Actually, I was given orders to kill Uzumaki-san in order to ensure that Sasuke joins us later…"

"What?!" Baki frowned.

"Yeah. Unfortunately, I got stopped at the last moment and they discovered that I'm a spy, too. They probably already connected the dots that I work for Orochimaru as well."

Baki glared at Kabuto. "Then… if they find out that you're meeting with me here, our plans to crush the Leaf will be ruined. I had heard you were Orochimaru's right-hand man… but you being uncovered by Konoha and then meeting with me like this isn't what I was expecting…"

Kabuto let out a small smirk. "Well… to be honest, I wasn't exactly trying that hard at the time. I admit, the Hyūga heiress was stronger than I had guessed… but I believe it was worth it in the end when I got more information on Crypt Ōgakari… that weapon of his is quite a trinket, if I do say so myself… Anyways, this gives me a good opportunity to see how Konoha would react with that information. Taking Sasuke-kun won't be a problem after that."

"If it appears you are failing, then we will withdraw. You came to us with this plan in the first place." Baki warned. "The Sand will stay in the background until the very end. This is Kazekage-sama's will."

Kabuto sighed as he took out a scroll. "These meetings would be so much more enjoyable if you Suna-nin were better at having conversations. Here are our plans. Also… It's about time they know about this plan, so please inform them."

"Yeah, no problem." Baki nodded.

"I'll excuse myself, then." Kabuto stated as he turned away. "Oh… by the way, if possible, I would suggest taking out any of the Ōgakari during the invasion. They are proving to be more… problematic then we first anticipated…"

Baki frowned as he put the scroll away. "I'll keep that in mind…"

The pair disappeared into the darkness, completely undiscovered.

o. o. o.

In a nearby bar:

The first generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho trio were busy getting hammered with the latest addition to their weekly drinking group… Shibi Aburame. The addition of the bug user was the result of a long process stemming from the trading and business with the Ōgakari clan. After conducting much research, Scabbard had found that the Aburame's insects could produce secretions with various properties depending on how much chakra they absorbed and what flowers they came in contact with over their short life spans. These secretions possessed various intriguing chemical and occasionally medical properties, ones that the Nara and Akimichi clans have been looking for quite some time in order to complete some of their projects. What few people knew was that the Yamanaka clan originally started to associate themselves with the Akimichi and the Nara clans was out of clan business. In the same way, the Aburame were inducted in the group due to their insect's ability to produce unique chemicals, the Yamanaka's were added in for their knowledge and possession of various and rare types of flowers that the other clans needed for their studies.

So, after several months of negotiations, a large trade circle was formed between the five clans, where the Yamanaka and the Aburame would produce materials, and the Ōgakari, Nara, and Akimichi would use said materials to create new medicine and soldier pills. It also allowed Shibi to become more comfortable with the other clans and the end result was the four men drinking themselves into a stupor as a way to say, "All right! We finally have all that fucking paperwork done!" Of course, due to his insects, the best Shibi could get was a little… ahem… buzzed.

"Man… I can't believe how big that place wuz…" Slurred Inoichi.

"No kidding…" Chuckled Chōza. "I could use my clan's biggest techniques and still stand up straight in that place."

"It makes you wonder what kind of techniques they practice down there…" Grumble Shikaku, who was trying to ignore the massive headache he was experiencing already.

"I'm more concerned with my child's wellbeing…" Sighed Shibi. "I was not comfortable with the look that Shadow Ōgakari was giving young Shino…"

"Oh yeah! I remember that. Your kid is screwed, man." Laughed Inoichi, clearly not aware of what he just said.

"I don't want to hear that coming from the man who allows his daughter to spend a majority of her training time with Anko Mitarashi." Shibi said stiffly while adjusting his glasses, causing Inoichi to falter and Chōza and Shikaku to chuckle at the man's misfortune.

"Having a troublesome wife is one thing… but having a smaller Anko as a daughter… you have my sympathy, my friend…" Shikaku tried to say with a straight face as he patted a crying Inoichi on the back.

"She just keeps on moving away from me…" Wept the clearly drunk man.

"Well played Shibi, well played indeed." Chōza laughed as he lightly punched the Aburame in the shoulder.

"… I am surprised that you are in such high spirits, Chōza… I thought you would be a bit less mirthful knowing that young Chōji is only able to compete in one fight in the exam." Shibi stated inquisitively.

Chōza shrugged. "I'm not that worried. Chōji's impressed a lot of people back in the preliminaries from what I've heard, and for good reason too. Pulling off three high level techniques like that isn't an easy thing to do, let alone making them work so well together. I didn't even know that he'd learned Hari Jizō. Even if he doesn't make chūnin this time around, which I highly doubt, he'll definitely earn a name for himself and get a load of experience for the next time he takes the exam. I would worry about Tsume more than anyone else if I were you. After all, Kiba was the only kid in his age group that didn't make it to the finals, and your clan is in charge of making sure that their hounds are free of most parasites."

Shibi shook his head. "While Tsume is rather… irked that Kiba did not make it to the finals, she is proud that he did not hesitate to surrender in order to protect his partner. I think it is safe to say that it would be more than concerning to everyone in Konoha if he had decided to forgo the young pup's safety in order to win the match." The three other men at the table all nodded in agreement. "That being said, how do you feel about the oncoming tournament matches?"

"I don't know about you guys, but I for one feel sorry for Shikamaru." Chōza stated with a dark chuckle. "I mean, he's stuck facing two of the Kazekage's kids right off the bat, then he has to go up against either Hinata Hyūga, the Uchiha, or Uzumaki. Knowing the poor kid, he's probably going to give up before going that far, regardless of how bad Yoshino will lecture him afterwards."

Shikaku snorted as he drank another beer. "I wouldn't blame him if he did. Your kids told you about Naruto's, Hinata's and Sasuke's fights, right?" He got a nod from his friends. "Honestly, I would prefer if he gave up before he got that far. Better that than him winning and coming home beaten half to death. Shikamaru's smart, and he's nailed down more of the clan's techniques than I would like, but against Naruto when he's… well, using _that_? No contest."

"Yeah, well, Ino's got it pretty tough too." Inoichi pouted, letting the booze gain a better influence on him. "She's gotta fight either some kid from Ame, or Sakura. Sakura managed to beat that kid's teammate, and since all the Ame kids use the same techniques, I'm guessing those two are going to be at each other's throats in her first round." He drank another gulp of sake. "From what I've heard, the girl is quite the up and coming medic as well as an accomplished genjutsu specialist. Aside from Uzumaki with his new healing powers, she's the worst matchup against my girl…"

"You forget that Anko-san is aware of this as well." Shibi stated plainly. "I highly doubt that our resident snake summoner would allow for such a glaring weakness to be exploited in the third exam."

"If she isn't busy screwing around with Ghost that is…" The depressed father grumbled, getting depressed, but understanding looks from his friends. It was far from secret that Anko and Hana were dating the eccentric Ghost Ōgakari… or that they liked to be kinky more often than not.

"Speaking of the Ōgakari, I have heard that they have an important meeting at the Hyūga compound tonight." Shibi said in an interested tone. He waited a few moments before continuing. "As in ALL of them are going to be there…"

Chōza and Inoichi spat out the sake they were drinking and started to cough hard. Shikaku simply opened his eyes as far as they could go as he pondered what kind of unfortunate horrors were going to occur at the noble clan's abode. "… that… is beyond troublesome."

o. o. o.

At ground zero… I mean the Hyūga compound:

"So Hayate's operation worked out all right?" Ghost asked Waltz as they approached the Hyūga compound entrance.

Waltz nodded. "Yes. He had a rather advanced and mutated case of bronchitis that appeared to be inoperable by this region's means. He's still resting at the hospital at the moment, but he should be more than able to work again in a month or so."

Ghost smiled. "Good. That guy is one of the few normal sword masters around that is willing give me a decent spar around here. He's a good guy… although he is a bit whipped by Yugao…"

Shadow snorted. "And you aren't whipped by us… or by Anko and Hana, for that matter…"

"From what I understand, Anko does most of the whipping. Hana prefers to be on the other end…" Scabbard corrected with a small grin on his face as he looked at Ghost.

"What can I say? It never gets boring with those two…" Ghost chuckled with a perverted grin on his face. "Although to be honest, I've been turning the tables on Anko more often than not these days… muahahahahahaaa."

"Honestly, one of these days that massaging technique of yours is going to get you killed… again." Waltz grumbled.

Zuzushi squeaked in agreement.

"Still… it is rather… comforting that you are actually maintaining a steady relationship again…" The old man whispered quietly, staring at Ghost's back with calm eyes.

"Hey guys! What's up? Stuck on gate duty again?" Ghost called out to the two familiar guards at the front of the Hyūga compound, apparently ignoring what Waltz had just said. Both guards looked at Ghost and quickly cracked a small grin before donning the standard Hyūga mask.

"Yes, Ōgakari-sama." Replied one of guards as he observed the four people behind him. "I assume that the people behind you are the other members of your clan?"

"Oh my god, we're going to the home of the ice cream people!" Whispered an excited Crypt in a childlike manner to Waltz.

"Yep!" Ghost replied, completely ignoring his disturbed brother. "Go send word to Hiashi and everyone there that we're here. Oh, and make sure that there are some sweets in the meeting room for Midget here…" He pointed to Shadow, who was smiling sweetly and waving to the guards as Zuzushi slept on her head. "… trust me, it will make things go a lot smoother."

"Of course, Ōgakari-sama." The first guard replied before walking inside the house. Unfortunately for guard number 2, Crypt decided in the following few seconds that he wanted to taste another ice cream person. Like Neji, guard number 2 was completely shocked, having presumably never encountered a person that gnawed on other people's heads willingly, and as such had no clue what to do.

"Mangooooo." Crypt rasped out aridly with his mouth full of Hyūga scalp.

"No! Bad Crypt!" Waltz yelled as if he was punishing a dog before grabbing Crypt's head and smashing it into the ground with surprising ease while simultaneously freeing the man from Crypt's large teeth. "We do not eat or taste random people unless we know for a fact that they are indeed delicious!"

Shadow walked up to the still shocked guard and looked at him closely from various angles before sniffing him. "Nope. Not delicious. Just standard people flavor." She stated firmly with closed eyes and a final nod of the head."

"… I'll just ignore what I just saw and skip to welcoming you into my home…" Hiashi said in an uneasy tone as he walked to the main entrance with the guard, Hinata, and Neji right behind him. "… Please don't destroy my clan."

Ghost crossed his arms and put on a face that was clearly mocking deep thought. "Hmm. I don't know, Hiashi. That's a pretty steep request you're asking of us…"

"Gasp! It's the strawberry ice cream boy again!" Crypt whispered out in a shocked tone again as he took notice of Neji, causing Hinata to try not to giggle and Neji to twitch uncontrollably.

As Ghost and Hiashi were slipping each other small jokes in order to lighten the mood, Scabbard slipped a small note into the hand of the returning guard just as he made his way back to his post.

"So… mango, huh?" The second guard smirked, much to the first's displeasure.

"We will never speak of this again." The first replied, looking like a traumatized child.

As the main group disappeared loudly into the compound, the second guard frowned as he took out the letter. "What's that?" The first asked, desperately trying to purge what just happened from his mind.

"Dunno." The second replied. "Scabbard slipped it into my hand as he walked past me. It says for me to read the entire thing before doing anything and not to show anyone what's inside…" He opened the letter slowly, knowing that odds were likely that it was another prank from the clan. After making sure that nothing was going to blow up in his face, the guard read the letter. It wasn't long before his face betrayed his emotions at what the contents of the letter held. Moments later, he was staring at his clearly concerned partner and activated his Byakugan before widening his eyes in shock.

"Well?" The first guard asked, trying to get a look at the letter. "What did it say?"

The second guard hunched over so that his friend couldn't see the paper before quickly memorizing the contents and ripping the letter to shreds and throwing them into the nearby gutter. "… our shift is over in 15 minutes, right?" He asked.

The first frowned. "Yeah. What of it? We're not going to be part of some stupid prank again, are we?"

The second one put on a serious face before leaning close to his childhood friend. "Trust me, it's not some stupid prank this time…"

Inside the clan compound, things were going rather smoothly, other than Crypt trying to treat every Hyūga that passed by him like a giant jawbreaker. Luckily, Waltz remembered to bring the modified dog leash with him this time.

"But! But! ICE CREAM People…" Moaned Crypt as another very disturbed Hyūga woman quickly walked past the deranged man.

Crypt's moaning was silenced by a quick but hard chop to the back of the neck by Waltz. Waltz looked around and saw that many of the clan members were looking at him oddly. "What? It was either that or listen to him moan for another hour and a half."

"Old man! What are you doing here?!" A young voice called out, startling the Hyūga clan head. Hanabi rushed out into the hallway and ran straight to Waltz.

"Hanabi… you know Waltz-san?" Hiashi asked in a daze, knowing that his youngest daughter's sudden change in personality would not go unnoticed. "You call the elder of the Ōgakari clan… old man?"

"Waltz has a soft spot for children, so it's no surprise that he has met Hanabi at some point." Ghost whispered to Hiashi. "As for calling him old man… well, technically we all do it. He doesn't mind at all unless he really wants to be treated with respect at the time, which isn't that often."

"Ah! Hanabi! How are you little one?" Waltz chuckled gently as he crouched down to look at the happy girl at eye level. "I apologize for not seeing you at the park lately, but I was busy with some important clan duties. Are you improving in your training?"

Hanabi nodded her head and smiled. "Yes! The meditation techniques you taught me are helping me greatly! Thank you very much!"

Waltz raised an eyebrow. "… and how about your conversing with other children at the park? How is that going?" Ghost made no motion to show that he was listening in on the conversation as he was looking at a detailed painting in the hallway.

Hanabi fidgeted in her spot as Waltz looked at her. "I'm trying… but I can't seem to find anything they want to talk about. Every time I try to say something, it comes out wrong, or I use words that they can't understand and they get annoyed with me…"

"Hmm. That is a problem…" Waltz pondered while stroking his beard in a comical manner. "… I think I have a solution, however. Meet me at the park again next weekend. I think I know someone that can help bridge the gap for you."

Hanabi smiled as she bowed to Waltz. "Thank you so much!" She looked at Crypt draped over Waltz' shoulder and then at Shadow. "Are these your family members? The ones that you say make you question your sanity and set you on fire?"

"Ooookaaaay. That's enough talking for one day…" Scabbard interrupted as he walked between the pair and started to nudge Hanabi down a hallway. "Hanabi-san, our clans have a very important meeting tonight, so unfortunately, we can't waste much time talking over things we would prefer to talk about. We'll let you be with gramps later this week, but not right now, all right?"

Hanabi pouted as much as her Hyūga demeanor allowed her to as she looked apprehensively at Waltz, who smiled sadly and nodded in agreement with Scabbard. "Fine. I guess I will see you later tonight, then."

"… I was wondering why she was becoming more cheerful lately…" Hiashi mused to himself as his youngest daughter walked away.

"I'm wondering what flavor she is." Crypt mused, apparently conscious again. "I'm guessing she tastes like coconut…"

BAM! Waltz sucker punched Crypt in the face so quickly that people watching could only assume that it was an instinctual reflex for the man.

It was.

With Crypt incapacitated, again, the family proceeded to the private dining hall, where the Hyūga elders and several Branch guards waited for their arrival. Though they were all motionless, it didn't take Scabbard long to tell that the guards were nervous as hell for some 'odd' reason and that various elders were showing different signs of anticipation. "Neji, Hinata." Hiashi started, gaining the two's attention. "I am afraid this is an important clan meeting, so you will have to dine elsewhere tonight."

"I understand, father." Hinata replied respectfully while bowing, giving the Ōgakari clan a quick glance before leaving.

"Understood, Hiashi-sama." Neji replied, mimicking his cousin. The pair walked out of the room silently before the doors closed.

"Ghost-san… I hope that your clan has proven to be fruitful with your research…" Asked one of the Elders that had gone behind Hiashi's back and asked Ghost for the second seal design. Hiashi made a mental check on the elder's name as to whether he was a traitor or not.

Ghost smiled. "Of course, Hyūga-sama. We take pride in our work and are more than happy to show you the fruits of our labor…" He reached for his coat, making sure that all eyes were on him before taking his coat off and sitting at the table. "… after dinner, of course. I'm starving, and doing business deals on an empty stomach absolutely sucks."

"Here, here." Shadow chanted as she sat herself next to Ghost.

"Agreed." Scabbard mused as he sat on the other side of Ghost.

"I've made that mistake before, unfortunately." Grumbled Waltz as he placed himself on the other side of Scabbard and Crypt on his other side within arm's reach.

Hiashi's eyebrows twitched as he attempted to remain in character. "So does that mean you are done with the prototype of the seal, or are you done with the entire thing?"

"We're done with the entire thing, now can someone PLEASE bring in some food?" Ghost answered irritably. "I've been sparring against the midget the entire day and I am STARVING!"

"Well, that's what happens when your fighting style requires you to run around like a supersonic chicken with its head cut off…" Shadow grumbled.

"Chicken?" Crypt moaned in a dazed tone, only for Waltz to almost instantly smash his head through the tatami mats on the ground with eyes wide open in fear. Crypt didn't move after that.

Waltz looked up to see the Hyūga elders looking at him in shock. "What? We'll fix the floor right before we leave."

"Trust us, he just took the safest course of action available to us at the time." Scabbard said with a wavering voice. "You do not want to know what the possible outcome would have been if we left him alone…."

"Waltz just saved your LIVES…" Whispered Shadow in a scared tone.

Hiashi rubbed his forehead as he tried to push back the impending migraine. "Ghost-san, I thought I asked you to try and keep the… instability of your clan to a minimum when we agreed for your entire clan to be here for the transaction…"

"You did. We weren't joking when we said that Waltz took the best course of action with Crypt just now. Unfortunately, you most likely wouldn't believe us if we told you what could have happened, and you probably would never want to talk to us again if we let it happen." Ghost shrugged, getting a multitude of looks from the Hyūga in the room and nods from his family. "Besides, with Crypt knocked out now, the odds of us having a decent and civilized conversation have increased exponentially…"

"7654.38%, to be exact." Stated Scabbard.

"That too." Added in Ghost.

The entire dinner proceeded pretty much in the same manner. The food was served and aside from a few snide remarks from both parties, both amusing and insulting, the conversation was actually quite informative with both sides talking about business, trading, materials, weapons, various lands, the latest rumors, and how much they all disapproved of Jiraiya. The new clan definitely earned some points on that last subject. The only main oddity that occurred during the meal was that even though Crypt seemingly never removed his head from the floor, his food disappeared at some point without anyone noticing. When asked, the Ōgakari clan simply responded that it was best just to leave those questions alone when talking about Crypt, for everyone's sake.

After the dishes were cleaned however, many people in the room started to grow nervous as the time for the seal's unveiling drew near.

"Pardon me, but I require use of the restroom." Scabbard said politely as he stood up and made his way to the door.

"Same here." Groaned Shadow as she mimicked her brother. "I think I drank too much before coming."

Hiashi nodded. "Of course. Please, let one of the guards guide you to the nearest bathroom." Hiashi nodded to one of his guards, who nodded in response and walked with the pair outside of the room. If anyone had paid any attention, they would have noticed that said guard was the same one that Crypt was chewing on earlier that night.

After a few minutes of waiting, Ghost groaned out in irritation as he reached for his coat and stuck his hands in one of the pockets. "Damn it. I'm bored as hell and my ass is falling asleep. Those two could be shifting their bowels all night for all we know. Let's just start the damn deal now and get this over with. It's not like we don't know what the price for this thing is, anyways…"

Hiashi nodded. "Before you give us the seal, can you please tell us what it does specifically?"

Waltz shrugged. "It erases your bloodline if you die, like the Caged Bird Seal. It also will erase the bloodline if the seal is tampered with in any way, if the bearer of the bloodline has their eyes removed, or if they are placed into a coma and don't wake up for a period longer than 6 months. If another seal is added to the bearer that causes him or her extreme pain, or if it also tampers with the person's bloodline, said bloodline goes away. Also, if a child is produced from the bearer's genetic material against his or her consent, the child will not have the bloodline. This means, of course, that blood taken from the bearer against his or her consent will contain no trace of your abilities, but this also means that donated blood, or blood stored in a hospital _will_ contain the information, so you might want to keep an eye on that. Other than that, the only thing it does is slowly change your DNA so that your bloodline naturally disappears when you die."

The Hyūga elders were gaping at Waltz. They had been expecting an amazing seal, but this was more than they could ever hope for!

Well, almost all of them could hope for.

"Oh… sorry guys." Ghost chuckled as he turned to certain elders. "I completely forgot to turn in your other seal request. I guess that means we won't be getting paid double, then."

The faces on the Hyūga elders split into two categories at that point. One half was completely enraged/ shocked, and the other was confused.

"Other seal request?" Hiashi asked in a fake curious tone.

Ghost nodded. "Yeah, they asked me to make a seal that did all ours could do, but could incorporate the Caged Bird Seal as well." He pointed out to several elders, all known for their support of keeping the two houses separate. "It was those guys… but I'm pretty sure that there were more of them… anyways…" He took out a scroll, completely ignoring his audience. "Here's the seal. Thank you for paying for it several (a dozen) months ago, Hiashi-san…" He mentally smirked as he took note of the further range of expressions the once stoic Hyūga council was showing. "… and I hope we can do business again sometime soon."

It happened in a moment. Just as Ghost was about to get up to give Hiashi the scroll, one of the elders had made a gesture with his hands, instantly being responded to by most of the guards in the room. Said guards knocked out the unaware ones and instantly took a good majority of the innocent elders hostage with their hands pressed against their bodies. For the elders that were left, they were taken hostage by the corrupted elders next to them, much to their surprise. Ghost and Waltz, however, looked like they could care less. "What is the meaning of this?!" Roared Hiashi as he was held down by one of the leading corrupt elders.

"Did you really think we would not prepare for something like this?" Announced the elder holding Hiashi down. "We knew that you Ōgakari were wild to begin with, but to be dumb enough to actually try to insult us in our own home while more than half of your family is gone or incapacitated is astounding. Did you really think you would get away with such an insult unscathed?!"

"I'm going to go on a limb here and say yes." Ghost replied in a bored tone, causing the opposing party to twitch irritably.

"Regardless…" Spat out the leader. "… we are in control of the situation now. I have already signaled to my men outside the room to take down your remaining family members, take the Branch house hostage, and spread word that there's a new clan head in control now!"

"You don't say…" Waltz sighed as he picked his ears with his pinkie before turning to the Branch house members holding the elders hostage. "Let me guess, he's threatening to use the seal on your kids and spouses if you refuse to help him." He sighed as more than half of them looked down in regret as their answer. "Typical."

"You dishonorable fool!" Shouted Hiashi's mother to the traitor. "We have a chance to make our clan even more powerful and eliminate the strife that has slowly killed our clan for years, and you want to make it even worse?!"

"It was their fate to serve us!" He spat out to the elderly woman. "Do not fool yourself from thinking otherwise, you senile old bat! You have grown soft with age, both in mind and body! Only those born in the Main house can rise to be leaders!"

"Are you done yet? I'm starting to want to go to the bathroom now too." Ghost moaned childishly.

One of the betraying elders that wasn't taking anyone hostage at the moment frowned as he stepped forward and activated his dōjutsu. "We were going to let you go freely after you gave us the scroll…" He growled before he crouched in Jūken stance that signified that he was going to use a large technique. "… but you have disgraced us ever since you arrived into this village! I doubt many would actually miss you… you are in the range of my divination…" Ghost paid no attention to the man as he reached for his glass and started to drink from it. "You will learn respect before you go to the afterlife! 8 Trigrams!" The man dashed straight to Ghost, his allies all smirking confidently as his hands struck forward. "64 pal…!"

The man froze just inches away from Ghost, much to the surprise and confusion of almost everyone watching. Ghost sighed as he picked himself up and walked around the frozen man in a bored and slow pace. "You know… for people who pride themselves on seeing 'everything'… you guys are pretty blind." He put his hands on his hips. "Let me guess, because Waltz explained what the seal does, you assumed that HE was the one that made it, right?" Ghost smirked as the more intelligent Hyūga in the room quickly understood what Ghost was implying and glanced at Crypt's body, with his head still stuck in the floor.

"I… Impossible…" Whispered out one of the grounded elders. "HE's the seal master?"

As more and more elders activated their dōjutsu, they gaped in surprise at what they saw. The entire ground beneath the floor of the room was completely covered by a massive and powerful looking seal made from Crypt's blood, which was constantly leaking from the man's head. Even the elders that were considered seal masters had to admit that what Crypt was doing was WAY beyond their skill level. Not only that, but if they knew where to look, mostly on a person's butt or on the soles of their feet, there were seals on every Hyūga in the room. It didn't take long for the people in there to realize that the traitors could not move their bodies at all, let alone barely breathe or move their eyes.

"Crypt, can you please get rid of the Caged Bird Seals on the Branch house member's heads now?" Ghost asked as he took out a sharpie and started to doodle on the elder that nearly attacked him. "I don't think I have enough ink to draw on all their faces."

"You… you knew this would happen?" Hiashi's mother asked incredulously as she moved away from her frozen captor while eyeing the blood that was traveling up through the mats on the ground and up the bodies of the Branch house members.

"Pissed off elders, secret deals, inner family conflicts, huge egos, major proverbial slaps to the face..." Ghost checked off with his fingers as he moved to the next frozen elder. "Yeah, it was bound to happen. Oh, and you Branch guys don't need to worry about your families. Crypt set up a mute barrier around the room, so none of those signals got through."

"But… your siblings…" Replied one of the branch house members as Crypt's blood traveled up his body.

Waltz waved his hands aridly. "They're busy taking off the seals of the Branch house members and giving them the new seals as we speak."

One of the freed elders frowned. "That could pose a problem. Should the other Main house members find out about it before the seals are removed, there would be blood spilled everywhere…"

"… This is why we have had Hinata and Neji doing our bidding for a while. Neji's been organizing the Branch house members so that they aren't all over the place when the clock hit zero so Scab and Shadow don't have to run everywhere to make sure that everyone is re-sealed. Hinata is in another meeting room holding the Main house guys in under the tale that Hiashi wants a mandatory full Main house clan meeting right after it's done, so the entire Main house has been waiting in that room for a good, what, 2 hours now waiting for Hiashi and the elders to come?" Waltz asked.

"Eh. That sounds about right. Besides, the freed Branch house members are being put to work as stalling material in case the Main house members get suspicious." Ghost replied as he picked up the frozen elders and started to put them in suggestive positions on one side of the room while they had graffiti drawn on their faces. "So Hiashi, what do you think? We lump them all together and tie them up so they can get judged? I bet the Branch house has loads of complaints they can now file against the bastards. This really was a good way to clean out your clan…"

"Indeed." Hiashi sighed as he picked himself up. "I just wish you stopped them before they shifted half of my muscles out of place."

"You're no fun." Grumbled Ghost as he started to write profanities on another elder's face. "Oi Crypt, get your head out of the ground and take a bow for your audience."

"Aww." Crypt moaned from the floor as he kicked his legs in protest. "Do I have to? There's so much dust down here! It's sooo cool! I think I even saw a goat a few minutes ago!"

Ghost sighed. "If you want to thank him, just get him a secret book of seals or a board game." He clapped his hands together as he finished setting up the remaining frozen elders like the Village People, complete with costumes and poses. "Well, now that we're done here, you guys wanna see how the Branch house guys are doing? Also, can someone show me where the nearest bathroom is? I wasn't kidding when I said I have to go."

o. o. o.

A/N:

Longest. Chapter. Evar!

Ugh. I was expecting to get this done earlier, but more stuff kept on coming up.

… quick question. Is there some sort of rule that says that if your story gets over 500 reviews, your intake drastically increases? Because that is what is happening so far… and I love it.

My friend wrote a program that lets you spy on conversations in Omegle. It's basically a website that allows you to talk to strangers… mostly it's just another way for internet stalkers to find their next victim and for people to try and have internet sex. That being said, some of these conversations were fucking hilarious, and some of the people on it were so stupid that even Crypt would pity them at times. Ah. Good times.

As for the next few chapters, yeah, don't be surprised if I start doing one every two weeks instead. Freaking teachers speaking English as a fifth language…

Anyways, sorry for the wait, I'll have more training up soon. Worship the Log. Review. And for god sakes, please put some pants on already!


	35. : … I'm sorry, I'm out of witty things to say at the moment.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 35: … I'm sorry, I'm out of witty things to say at the moment.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

In the gates of hell… AKA the Ōgakari clan training grounds:

"So Shikamaru, I hear that you're pretty smart…" Shadow grinned as she walked away from the collapsed meat heap that was once known as Shino Aburame towards the unnerved Nara.

It was near the end of the second week of training, and Shikamaru was honestly confused as all hell. Shadow's training was erratic and had almost no pattern to it at all. Some days she chased after Shikamaru and Shino with a whip (or two, with or without stinging poison) that she materialized out of nowhere and whipped them bloody for hours while they ran around the ridiculously huge compound and Zuzushi flew lazily overhead. Last time they had actually run PAST Gai and Lee in the process. Shikamaru was seriously considering his envy from clouds to dragons. They could lazily fly about, and kill anything that bugged them.

Yet other times, it was different. Those days the woman seemed to have a calmer and wiser demeanor, guiding the pair through various fighting techniques and strategies that seemed to match their styles perfectly. Both boys had been subjected to what Shadow's gauntlets were truly used for in Shino's training, and to say that he and Shino were impressed was a major understatement. He had seen Shadow give Shino various tactics on how to maneuver his kikaichū that worked incredibly well, tactics that both boys doubted came off the top of her head.

And then there was Shikamaru's training. Honestly, he couldn't understand what he was trying to do. His apparent 'special' training was simply meditating in the shadows of a small grove of trees, or in a small cave that Crypt made at some point in time. Supposedly, he was trying to connect himself to the shadows he was nearby and take command of them, but that was supposed to be impossible from his clan's understanding. Forcing another body to mimic his own via a shadow was one thing, changing shape and giving his own shadows physical capabilities was also possible, but to actually command the shadows of other objects to move and do his bidding was simply out of the question. To change and command the nature of a shadow that did not belong to the user without affecting the shadow's caster was simply unheard of. Not that Shikamaru didn't try to do what Shadow told him, but so far, his progress was non-existent.

…Which brings us back to Shadow walking to Shikamaru with a thoughtful look on her face.

"… hn? Yeah, I guess you could say that." Shikamaru replied in a tired tone that did not match with his unnerved demeanor. "But what does that have to do with my training?"

Shadow sighed before she went to a nearby rock and sat on it, motioning for the boy to do the same. As soon as Shikamaru sat down, Shadow stretched and looked up at the fake sky above her. "… If god had only one element… which one do you think he… or she would have?"

"Huh?" Shikamaru asked dumbfounded, not nearly expecting to be asked that sort of question.

"You heard me, kid." Shadow replied without turning her head. "God, as in the great creator or whatever the fuck you guys want to call it. What element do you think he/she would be if it could only be one element… and don't give me that crap about the Log right now, I'm being serious. Use that giant head of yours and think. Out of all the various elements that exist in the world, the galaxy, the universe… what element portrays his/her powers the best?"

Shikamaru blinked a few times before it registered that Shadow was being absolutely serious about her question. Sighing to himself and muttering under his breath, the Nara put his hands into his thinking position and pondered the rather random question. The air was quiet for half an hour as the pair sat there in silence.

Shadow smirked after the 45 minute mark had passed. She could tell that Shikamaru was on the right track, judging from the frown that was on his face. The woman got up and dusted her legs. "When you come up with your answer, come back to me and tell me your reasoning. 'Til then, I'll be torturing Shino…"

Shikamaru didn't say anything as Shadow walked away. He knew that Shadow knew he had an answer already. It was obvious she was talking about a dark/shadow element. What she was looking for instead was the reason why it would be that… and the more he thought about it, the more he realized that there was far more to his clan's techniques than he possibly would have guessed…

o. o. o.

In another part of the grounds:

"Aw, come on, Nai-chan!" Anko pleaded on her knees to her oldest friend and attempting to do the puppy dog eyes technique.

"You know that doesn't work on me, Anko." Kurenai scolded lightly. "… and I can still see some bloodlust in your eyes while you're doing it."

Anko groaned. "Kurenaiiiii. I really need you to help out with Ino with her genjutsu! I already covered most of the stuff that she would need to take down pinkie, but I still need someone to get her covered with advanced genjutsu! Please? I'll be your best friend…"

Kurenai's eyebrow twitched. "Anko, you already are my best friend. Besides, I can't work on Ino right now, I'm too busy helping Chōji prepare for his match as well…"

Anko's face lit up. "Even better! Train them both at the same time! I mean, it's obvious that Chōji has a crush on Ino, and it's not like they'll actually fight each other in the finals. Besides, they're already on the same team, so they're used to training with each other anyways."

Kurenai mentally kicked herself for walking into that trap. "Grr. Fine, I'll train Ino and see if I can do Chōji at the same time as well, but you owe me big time, Anko. You're paying for my bar tab for the rest of the year after the Exams end."

Anko shrugged. "Sure, you're a lightweight anyways."

Breathing heavily and resisting the urge to kill her friend, Kurenai pondered her current situation. "… Anko, I'm curious. Why are you so interested in Ino's training anyways? You never took much interest in it before…"

Anko pouted. "Isn't it obvious? Word is already around that Ino is like a younger version of me. How well she does in the Exams reflects on me to everyone watching! If she turns enough eyes, I might just get enough political sway to actually be considered for a jōnin promotion! … oh, and there's that whole… mentor… student… connection… thing too, I guess."

Kurenai sighed. "And here I thought you had actually started to turn into a reasonable human being."

Anko chuckled. "Haha. Oh Kurenai, you and your silly thinking thoughts."

Kurenai groaned and started to walk away in order to prevent herself from getting a headache. "Whatever. Just tell Ino to come by the lake near the entrance in half an hour."

Anko smiled and hugged Kurenai from behind. "Thanks Nai-chan!" The purple haired woman turned around. "Oi Ghost! Hana! Kinky Sex time in 30!"

From a fair distance away, Kurenai heard Ghost respond. "Woo! Kinky sex time!"

"What's the safe word?!" Hana's voice echoed from another direction.

"Hana, you pansy! There is no safe word!" Anko replied, completely ignoring the look that Kurenai was giving her.

"Just checking!" Hana answered.

Kurenai could only stare at Anko with righteous fury in her eyes. "I hate you so much right now." She growled.

Anko deadpanned. "Oh, don't give me that. Everyone knows that you've had the least to do down here since the training started, since Sakura's focusing on physical conditioning and there's only a couple of people that actually NEED training in genjutsu related fields for their matches. Besides, Asuma is in charge of Chōji's training for the most part, so you're gonna be spending time with him anyways. If it makes you feel any better, I'll threaten Ino with extra heavy training if she gives you a hard time."

Kurenai glared at Anko for a few seconds before slumping in defeat. "… Fine. But don't think for a second I won't keep quiet about this when I'm plastered, Anko."

The Snake Mistress smirked as she walked towards the exit of the grounds. "Keep telling yourself that lightweight. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pick what to wear for my happy fun time in a few minutes. Thankfully, Ghost has a few leftovers in storage that supposedly belonged to other friends of the family's. Where some of those costumes come from I have no idea, but they are just so sexy! … Although now that I mention it, several of the smaller ones have been disappearing lately…" The two women paused in silence, not voicing what they were thinking in fear of what the other would say in response… although they both had a pretty good idea who the perpetrator was.

"Sensei's vow of silence?" Anko asked.

"Vow of silence." Kurenai stated in a dead tone.

"All I'll say is that I feel sorry for blondie when the girl finally gets out of her shell." Anko chuckled. "Kage-level stamina or not, he definitely won't be able to outlast…"

"VOW OF SILENCE!" Roared Kurenai.

o. o. o.

In another part of the grounds…

"Don't do anything stupid, Ero-Sennin. If Ero-nii catches you trying to peep on him, he'll kill you, then he'll let Hana-sensei and Anko-sensei have a shot. If you haven't noticed already, they like to play rough. Besides, no one is supposed to know you're here yet." Naruto deadpanned as he continued his physical exercises while a huge number of his clones each attempted to break down a boulder roughly 5 meters across in 10 minutes. By the end of his training, he should be able to do it in 5 seconds. Their progress varied wildly. While most of them had barely made at most 1/3rd of the stone disappear, there were a few that were almost completely done with their task. The goal by the end of the training was to be able to reduce the boulder to pebbles within a few seconds at the slowest, but Naruto was still pretty far from that at the moment.

Jiraiya pouted as he sat on the top of one of his medium sized toads and continued to write in a surprisingly non orange notepad. "Give me some credit, brat! That damn bastard beat the living shit out of me once already. I'm smart enough not to provoke him into giving a repeat performance…"

"Says the man that spied on the Yellow Flash during his private moments with his wife on his honeymoon. Says the man that spied on Baa-chan and was nearly killed. Says the man that went so nuts in that one place in Iwa during my training that…"

"Hey! You can't blame that one on me! The bastard at the bar spiked my drink with something when I wasn't looking!" Jiraiya countered with a red face.

"Sure he did. All I remember is running out of the country being chased by three villages worth of angry civilians and several chūnin after my head for some ODD reason… and you covered in lingerie and a condom blown like a balloon coming out of one of nostrils." Naruto growled. "Honestly, I'm still pretty pissed that no one told me that my fucking father was the Fourth, but then again, I was pretty stupid not to have seen it myself either. I mean honestly, I'm not a Yamanaka, but I have blonde hair and blue eyes. Who else in the Elemental Nations has those attributes?!" Naruto paused. "… that isn't related to one of your 'compatriots'." He added, looking at Jiraiya's blushing perverted face. (ED: There actually is some precedent for naturally blonde haired, blue eyed Japanese people. See the note at the end.)

Jiraiya sighed. "For the last time brat, I'm sorry, but we didn't think you were ready to know at the time, given how sporadic your personality was…" He was interrupted when a timer nearby buzzed.

Naruto rolled his eyes as he stopped punching the training pole he was practicing on. "Time!" He yelled out, causing his small army of clones to stop training and stand up straight. "Anyone break down the entire boulder?" He called out curiously.

"I did!" Called out one of the clones that he couldn't see.

"Same here!" Another yelled.

Naruto listened as a few more clones claimed their progress before silence once again echoed throughout the area. "All right! Clones that did the entire boulder and ones that got at least 3/4ths of the way done, pop yourselves! The rest of you guys keep going! I want to at least reach the 3 minute mark by the time dinner happens!"

"Right!" The clones yelled out with renewed vigor as the memories of the dispelled clones traveled to each Naruto in the vicinity.

"Hey Ero-Sennin, could you make a few more boulders so some of the faster clones can still work after they finish with the ones they started?" Naruto asked as he turned to the sage.

Jiraiya groaned as he got up off the toad he was sitting on and jumped on the ground. The technique that Naruto was asking him to do wasn't that hard. Hell, a reasonably trained genin could make a few dozen before collapsing, but over 1000 boulders? That was taxing even for one of the legendary Sannin. He lazily formed the hand signs he needed before slamming his hands on the ground. "Earth-Style: Boulder Emergence!" He announced as the area in front of them sprouted countless training rocks like weeds.

Naruto nodded as he created 500 more clones. "Thanks Ero-Sennin. All right! Half of you do boulder duty, the other half start practicing the Underground Projection Fish Technique… you know what? The name for this technique is too long and stupid to use all the damn time. From now on, if we want to use it, we'll just call it the Fish Technique. All in favor?"

"Aye!" Roared the clones in agreement, causing Jiraiya to sweat drop.

"Well then, get going! Half on fish, the other half on boulders!" Naruto roared before turning back to his training post again, immune to the scuffle of his clones trying to find a place to train.

Naruto had managed to complete the first step of his earth composition training within a week and had since then been splitting his clones between completing the second step of earth composition training and learning the lower ranked earth techniques, since they did not require large or particularly focused amounts of earth chakra to perform. Right now, his 'Fish' technique was coming by quite well, but it would still be some time before he would be able to use it efficiently in a fight. From what Kakashi had explained to him, as soon as he could perform this technique adequately, it would take at most a day or two to completely master the incredibly useful Double Suicide Decapitation Technique, which was perfect for assassination missions or disabling opponents.

Unfortunately, because his first two opponents in the finals both had dōjutsu that could see chakra, several of his earth techniques would not be as effective as they would have been against… well, everyone else, but the moves were still useful none the less.

Jiraiya's presence was due to the fact that he actually knew Earth-Style: Earth Wall and Earth-Style: Earth Spear. The only reason why he didn't use them was because he wasn't really that good at smaller earth techniques, and he preferred to be on the offensive rather than defensive, which is why he's a bit slow when performing most of his defensive techniques aside from Hari Jizō. He was also there because obviously he could give Naruto a few tips about manipulating earth chakra.

Jiraiya chuckled as he looked around. "You know brat, I'm impressed. Given a decade or so, you might actually be as strong as me!"

Naruto snorted as he went through his break dancing steps. "Says the idiot pervert that can't even go into Sage Mode correctly."

Jiraiya frowned as the toad he was sitting on failed to hold back a deep chuckle. "I'm talking experience-wise, brat. Sure, you might have gone on a few high level missions and be as capable as me in a fight, but you still lack the insight to do everything in between. Talking to people, spying, detecting lies, traps, war; you have almost no experience in those subjects compared to me. As long as your ability to read everything in between the lines is dwarfed by mine, you won't be able to compare to me as a shinobi."

Naruto snorted. "Please. If you wanted to train me in that stuff, you would have actually done it instead of ditching me to train with half assed instructions while you go peeping. You could have at least told me that I get the memories of my clones when they dispel…"

Jiraiya stuttered. "Me? Tell you? Brat, I thought you already knew that the entire time! Hell, you were practically using the technique to clean up camp for the last year of our trip!"

"Don't blame me, you old fart! Every time I used that technique, I spammed the clones so much my head always got blurry since they normally all dispelled at nearly the same time! I thought that since it's a kinjutsu, that's what was supposed to happen!" Naruto countered.

"Well, I guess that's what you get for being a careless little midget!" Jiraiya roared in a childlike manner.

"Shameless old pervert!" Naruto countered with a massive vein coming out of his head.

"Loudmouthed little brat!" Jiraiya announced while pointing to the blonde.

"Wannabe Suna Kabuki dancer!" Naruto yelled.

Jiraiya gasped. "You take that back!"

Naruto held his ground. "Make me!"

Needless to say things, escalated from there and Naruto and Jiraiya ended up wailing on each other in a giant cloud of smoke. Several of the clones were glancing at the spectacle and groaning to themselves. It was if nothing had changed at all.

o. o. o.

In yet another part of the training grounds:

"Did you hear that?" Kakashi asked as he turned his head to a seemingly random direction.

"Hear what?" Asked Sasuke with a raised eyebrow.

"It sounded like two children fighting meaninglessly… I ought to write that down in case I need to use it later…" Kakashi took out a note pad and started to scribble in it before glancing at Sasuke with his free eye. "What? You don't honestly think I come up with all my excuses off the top of my head, do you?"

"Considering how bad most of them are… yes." Sasuke deadpanned. "So can we get on with my training now? I learned the Shadow Clone Technique, and showed that I can make about 10 clones for training without hurting myself, and I just finished my lightning element composition training yesterday..." Sasuke sulked for a moment while he dwelled on the fact that he wasn't a fire element like his family, but a lightning element that just so happens to have a strong secondary affinity to fire. "So what kind of training am I going to do today?"

Kakashi paused as he recollected the training that had occurred these past two weeks. Due to the extra training that Ghost had instilled in Sasuke, as well as his additional training in fire element composition, the young Uchiha had blazed through his training in learning the Shadow Clone Technique and his lightning element composition. While it did take some time for Sasuke to get used to making shadow clones and splitting his chakra, his significantly larger reserves and additional training had aided him greatly. In addition to that, Sasuke's occasional training with Gai and Lee had pretty much ensured that his taijutsu conditioning would be done within only a couple of days. Thinking back now, Kakashi remembered that it only took that much time for the boy to get Chidori down and a couple more to help him fine tune it to the point that he could use it twice in a day. With their given time frame, that should leave them with more than enough time for him to teach Sasuke the fire technique that Ghost had instructed him to teach the boy, as well as a few days to rest…

Sasuke, on the other hand, was getting impatient waiting for Kakashi to snap out of his delirium. He was told that this new technique he would be learning required him to access all of his chakra, so no shadow clones allowed. This infuriated the boy, since he was planning to use his clones to do some more hidden training while he practiced this new technique. It was one of the first things that came to his mind when he learned that he would be learning to make lightning chakra, and he wanted to see what the finished product would be. He would have attempted to use the Exploding Clone Technique since he had seen it with his Sharingan active during Naruto's match, but the comment Kakashi made about it being so chakra intensive that even Naruto had to use it sparingly echoed through his mind. He was curious yes, but not stupid.

"Kakashi…" Sasuke growled, getting his teacher's attention.

"Hm? Ah, right. Training." The cyclops chuckled, getting a twitch from his student before dropping back into a serious attitude and taking a deep breath. "Sasuke, what I'm about to teach you is my own personal technique. This is an A-class assassination technique and extremely dangerous… although not nearly as dangerous as War Scars, but you'll get the idea when you see it… watch carefully." Kakashi flipped through the three seals needed to perform the technique and focused his chakra to his right hand. Almost instantly, a loud series of chirps permeated the air as the silver haired man's hand glowed with blue electricity and chakra, causing Sasuke's eyes to widen as he watched with his Sharingan active. Kakashi held the technique up in front of his student's eyes for a few more seconds before he turned around and charged at a large boulder at full speed, his right hand creating a trench in the ground without even touching it. "CHIDORI!" The ex-ANBU yelled as he thrust his arm completely through the boulder, creating a massive hole in it at least 2 meters in radius before he erupted out the other side.

That was the first time that Sasuke would admit that Kakashi had actually impressed him. Silence reclaimed the area around them as Kakashi ended the technique. "… You're actually going to teach me that?" Sasuke asked skeptically.

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, I am, Sasuke. Despite how much you deny it, I can tell that you value your teammates dearly. So much so that you would do everything in your power to make sure that they are all right…" Kakashi's eyes dropped. "I… realized that too late… and it cost me my eye… and my best friend's life…" Sasuke's demeanor tensed as he registered that Kakashi was telling him something personal. "… This technique is to be used to protect your allies and your friends, Sasuke. Under no circumstances are you to use it against comrades…" He flared some killing intent to prove his point. Needless to say, Sasuke got it.

"But… why are you teaching me the technique in the first place, then?" Sasuke asked in a slightly nervous tone. "Shouldn't you be teaching me other techniques for the Exams, then? … Unless there's another reason why you're teaching me this…" He frowned. Since spending time with Naruto, learning of his secrets, and hearing the blonde's skepticism about his brother's attack on his family, Sasuke had become more analytical, if anything so he would stop being surprised by Naruto all the damn time.

"… they don't call you a genius for nothing, I suppose…" Kakashi sighed before becoming serious again. "You're right, Sasuke. There is something else that is going to happen during the Exams, something extremely big, but I can't tell you exactly what it is. All I can say is that you are more than likely one of the major targets when it happens, which is why I'm making sure that your ace in the hole will be enough to take down most opponents."

Sasuke frowned. "Who else knows?"

Kakashi looked at Sasuke. "Enough to make sure that things hopefully won't get too out of hand. And before you ask, yes, Naruto is one of them. In fact, he is another one of our key players when the shit hits the fan." He paused as he let his words sink in. "When everything goes down, you are to stay with the other rookie Konoha genin at all times, preferably Sakura, Hinata, and Shikamaru."

Sasuke pondered what Kakashi told him before speaking up again. "… does it have to do with Orochimaru and the Curse Seal he gave me?" He asked darkly.

Kakashi paused as he looked at the mark on Sasuke's neck. Before any of the main training had started, before the Ōgakari clan had reformed the Hyūga clan in a single night, Sasuke was examined by Crypt, who was in one of his rare moments of complete sanity. Unfortunately for Sasuke, it required him to be bitten in the same place by Crypt so he could inject his own blood into Sasuke's bloodstream so he could get the most data on the seal. THAT took a while since Sasuke was EXTREMELY against ANYONE putting their mouths to his neck again (and many a fangirl subconsciously grew more depressed for some reason.), let alone a man that spoke in gibberish more than half the time.

Once the yelling and the holding down Sasuke part was finished, Crypt assumed a meditative position so he could focus on what was in Sasuke, only to almost instantly grow _extremely_ pissed. Though few know this, Crypt takes his seal making jobs lethally serious. He can appreciate seals of all types, from torture, to healing, to sealing to whatever, as long as they were well made and planned well. This is why he had no problems working on the Caged Bird Seal. Even though it was a seal that enforced slavery, and it had a few mistakes here and there when it came to design, it was still a well-made seal, with its purpose and design put as a priority.

Orochimaru's Curse Seal, on the other hand, was blasphemy. It was like taking a work of art and purposefully drawing all the lines uneven, too thick, too thin, pissing on it, and then putting it in a paper-mache border. While the seal itself was impressive, using a combination of poison, chemicals and blood as a medium and including subliminal and body enhancing functions in addition to entwining itself to the owner's DNA, the features and parameters of various portions of the seal were so outlandishly over or under scaled that the efficiency of the entire thing was a mere fraction of what it should be. It was no wonder that only 10% of the people granted the seal died upon receiving it. It was like the man was purposefully trying to kill as many people as possible in the testing process with this thing!

Muttering several dark and violent curses, Crypt had set himself to work on Sasuke. He couldn't do anything about several of the body modification aspects of the seal yet, but he could at least reduce the physical impact of using the seal and excise the subliminal messaging part without any problem. He mentally giggled as the tiny part of Orochimaru's soul that was injected into Sasuke screamed as his own piece butchered it painfully. The process, however, left the Uchiha bedridden for a couple of days.

Since then, Crypt had been spending most of his spare (sane) time studying up on some more seals. He claimed that given a few weeks, he could not only reduce the effects of using the seal to almost negligible levels, but that he could adjust the seal to enable Sasuke to use the second level that he had found hidden underneath the extra layers of bullshit that Orochimaru had added to it... just not in those words… or language. Still, he advised… okay, practically threatened Sasuke to never use the seal if he wanted to live a long and remotely decent life. Needless to say, Sasuke agreed.

"… It's related to Orochimaru… yes." Kakashi admitted, not willing to say out loud that there was going to be an invasion in a few weeks.

Sasuke remained quiet for several moments as he let Kakashi's words register before walking past his teacher in a serious manner. "… Then what are we doing here wasting time? How do I focus my chakra for Chidori?"

o. o. o.

In Kumogakure:

Yugito Nii yawned as she walked through her home village. She had just taken a bath at the local onsen after completing an annoying A-rank mission that the Raikage had sent her on. Seriously, that man and his younger brother were so immature at times that it was a wonder how they were both so incredibly strong.

A Killer and Bee Killer, two of the most powerful shinobi on the planet, and complete idiots. The elder was always letting his temper get the best of him, and the younger one was a wannabe rapping moron. Sometimes she wondered how she, a clan-less orphan, had managed to get their respect, even if she did have the two-tailed cat sealed inside of her and could hence use the term cat fight literally to scare the shit out of any man that got on her bad side. It bugged her to no end that she was the person the secretaries called whenever one or both of the brothers proved to be too much to handle. Still, it gave the people more of a reason to respect her instead of fear her, and that was always a plus considering what she knew about the way most jinchūriki were treated.

Stretching lazily, the blonde haired woman walked back to her apartment, which was located near the Raikage's tower, and looked in her mailbox. She didn't have that much of a social life, so even if she left for a long period of time, there wouldn't be much to look at besides magazines, bills, and the occasional anonymous love letter that she never bothered to read.

"Bill, Bill, love letter, you may have already won 10,000,000 ryō, bill, weapons magazine, letter from Fenrir, bill, bi…" Yugito froze as she backed up a few letters and looked at the letter from Fenrir again… ignoring the obvious question of how a wolf could write a letter. Opening the envelope slowly in case it held any traps or explosives, the woman carefully took out the single piece of paper and read the short message.

_2,_

_It is time we talk with some allies. Come to the exams in the leaves. 1 and 9 will be waiting for you. It would be best to come alone, if possible. Look for my eyes and lightning._

_Fenrir_

Yugito froze. It had been over half a year since she was peeked on by the three legged wolf, and to be perfectly honest, she had all but completely forgotten about him since then. Sure, she had told Bee about the message and had looked up the group known as Akatsuki. It was a bit concerning that such a group existed - 9 individuals that are _all_ S-class missing-nin? It was hard enough finding one! - , but to be honest, she had just forgotten with all the missions she had been assigned lately. Since Bee was still doing some major training at Unraikyō, she had been taking a fair share of his missions because she was the only other jinchūriki in Kumo.

Looking at the letter again, she froze when she saw how she was being addressed. _2\. 1 and 9 will be waiting for you._ Oh crap, that means that he was serious?! The containers of the 1 and 9 tails were already in on this thing?!

Yugito groaned as she felt another headache come up, usually a sign that the two tails wanted to say something. It was less noticeable during combat because normally she had enough adrenaline pumping through her veins at that point to kill a horse.

 _Interesting… Ichibi and Kyūbi are involved…_ The cat demon purred. _Those two are not ones for… teamwork, as you humans put it…_

'So you think that the letter is a fake, then? Or some kind of ruse to try and lure me to Konoha so they can capture me?' Yugito thought back.

_Perhaps, kitten… however, it is not likely. Remember the power this Fenrir exerted that night, the look in his eyes. I do not believe that he would need to trick us if he truly wanted us to be captured. He has the means to find us and the power to take us down._

_… I believe we should do as he says. If his previous warning still stands, then we had best know what we're up against and who our allies are. It's not every century that Kyūbi and Shukaku are willing to join forces…_

Yugito frowned as she burned the letter, already memorizing it word for word. 'Ugh, yeah, but the Exams he's talking about are in Konoha of all places!'

 _It doesn't matter if they have a clan full of worthless mutts, kitten, you have a demon cat within you! Flair your fur for once!_ Nibi growled angrily, knowing how much Yugito also loathed the animals referred to as dogs, and hence wolves.

'Fine, I'll go! I needed a break from work anyways.' Yugito mentally grumbled as she started to go through her things to see what she had and what she needed to sort out. 'I'll just tell Raikage-sama that I'm going on vacation and ask him to give me a permit to get into Konoha so that I can see the Exams. It shouldn't be too hard to do. Hell, I remember that there have been some Konoha-nin that came here to see the Chūnin Exams if they're being held here, even though we don't send genin to each other's Exams anymore… not after that Hyūga fiasco.'

 _Your Fourth was caught in a moment of weakness. He had been in charge for less than a year when the meetings took place, and he was swayed by the more seedy members of your council. We almost went to war again, and he took the blame on our side. He did not make the same mistake again…_ Nibi growled, remembering the incident. Through some second-hand snooping, Yugito and Nibi had gone through the backgrounds of their village's council members in order to find out who was responsible for that predicament. Needless to say that the ones responsible for it were also the ones who caused the Hyūga incident. Within a year, several councilors had disappeared mysteriously, much to the saner member's, and the Raikage's delight.

'Let's just hope that none of the Hyūga still hold grudges… the last thing we need right now is for another international incident to occur…'

o. o. o.

Back at the compound:

Anko and Hana looked down at Ghost, who was clearly unconscious and face first in a pool of his own blood. The pair turned to Hinata and Neji curiously.

"What happened?" Hana asked curiously as she poked the man with a stick and two of her triplets sniffed his body curiously.

"Ghost-sensei bet us that he could knock himself unconscious by excessive bleeding without physically injuring himself or using chakra after we got into an argument during a lecture about what to do while being captured by an enemy." Hinata answered.

"We didn't believe him, but he apparently proved us wrong…" Neji added in, nudging Ghost's still body with his foot.

"How did he do it?" Anko asked curiously as Hana checked his body for any extra wounds.

Neji and Hinata looked at each other nervously. "Um… well, he first spread out his arms and legs to show that he wasn't doing anything to himself… then he just kind of screwed up his face for a moment, then he blushed… then all of a sudden he started to bleed extremely heavily from his nose, like it was a fire hose gone wrong or something. It lasted for about 10 seconds before he ended up flat on his face. We were wondering what to do when you guys showed up." Neji replied in an uncertain tone.

Hana and Anko just stared at Neji, then back down at Ghost. "… I knew he was a pervert… but damn…" Anko whistled. "I doubt even Jiraiya could pull something like that off."

"Jiraiya?" Hinata asked. "You mean the Sannin?"

Hana nodded as she picked Ghost's body up and slung it over her shoulder. "He's legendary among women for being a notorious peeper and a self-proclaimed super pervert. If you guys see a middle aged man with long spiky white hair and a forehead protector with the kanji for oil on it… and he's near the women's side of a bath house, do everyone a favor and give him a jūken strike in the 'nads for every women out there."

"And with that said, we shall now leave to perform unspeakable acts that are reserved for the period known as Kinky Sex Time." Anko said in an authoritative tone.

"Woo, kinky sex time…" Ghost quietly cheered out unconsciously despite his anemic condition.

Neji and Hinata just stared at the three as they walked away.

"So… Neji-nii-san, how are you faring now that the clan is now united…?" Hinata asked hesitantly, trying to ignore what she just saw.

Neji paused as he contemplated Hinata's question. He had often dreamed what it would be like if the Caged Bird Seal was banished. With the new seal, which looked like a sun inside a spiral design, aptly named the Outer Light Seal, the Caged Bird version was completely unnecessary. However, this did not end the inner conflict of the Hyūga clan as smoothly as he had hoped.

Because the original Main house was left completely out of the loop during the entire operation, there was much argument when word had finally spread that there was a new seal that would be placed on everyone in the clan. In their panic, several more conspirators stupidly made themselves known and attempted to kill Hiashi and members of his family. Luckily, Hinata's great increase in skill had caught many of the attackers off guard, and the rest were held down by members of the recently freed Branch house.

With aid from the Ōgakari clan, Hiashi and the elders that did not go behind his back organized the clan's members so that they would be able to calm everyone down… except for the occasional times when someone took their eyes off of Crypt and he ended up trying to eat another Hyūga's head. Oddly enough, the insane man's actions relieved some of the tension in the compound… sort of… more like replaced it, in all actuality.

Hanabi, on the other hand, was a whole spectrum of emotions. She was confused as to why things were changing, she was happy that the Branch house was being set free, she was scared about not knowing what was going to happen next, but most of all she was in awe of Waltz. As far as the girl was concerned, the entire thing had been Waltz's doing, considering she knew him the best and thought that since he was the elder of his clan, he was the one in charge of the whole operation. For the sake of not arguing with a little girl, everyone just let her believe it.

The transition from pseudo-servants to equals was not going as smoothly as some might have (to be frank, unrealistically) expected it to, of course. The first problem was driving home the concept that the former Main house members were not going to be waited on hand and foot by the ex-Branch house members. While many Main house members had undergone a shinobi style upbringing, a number had refrained from their clan's majority occupation in exchange for other professions, such as negotiators and representatives for the clan as a whole. There were also, unfortunately, some who were simply clueless when it came to tasks such as cleaning or cooking, something that all Branch house members were quite familiar with.

A good portion of the Main house members were simply relieved that the constant threat of the Caged Bird Seal was gone. It was an open secret in the family that several of the arrested elders had often used the threat of slapping the seal on any of the Main house members that rubbed them the wrong way.

On the other side, the ex-Branch house members were having troubles of their own. Freedom was something that they had all dreamed about at some point in their lives, but now that they had it, many honestly didn't know what to do. Even with the new seal, it was pretty stupid to just up and leave the clan, and many of the older members of the clan were content with continuing to do what they were doing before, whether it was cooking or guard duty or shinobi duties. They didn't have to answer to NEARLY as many obnoxious, stuck-up pricks in their family now, but all in all, it was life as usual for them, only easier.

On the clan council side, things were a bit hectic. Not absolutely chaotic and violent, just busy. With the Branch house freed and half of the original Hyūga elders taking turns visiting Ibiki on a continuous basis, seats had to be filled, and everyone (who got the joke) agreed that it would be a bright, sunny, and rainbow filled day in Otogakure before all those seats were filled with Main house members. Said chosen members were selected and elected by the Branch house exclusively. True, several of the remaining elders were less than anxious to see these changes occur within the clan, but they were not stupid enough to deny that the world was changing, and that they would need to adapt to ensure that their clan would survive with their honor intact.

There would have been more chaos and uncertainty in the clan during the time, had Ghost and Scabbard not informed all the elders that there was 'an impending threat to Konoha that was approaching soon'. The pair had told the elders enough to convey the message that something really big was going down, and that they should get EVERYONE in the clan prepared discretely to reduce casualties. That meant clan techniques were to be taught to everyone in the clan, preferably at once with mixed groups. After all, nothing brings people together better than impending doom from a mysterious enemy.

That being said though, Neji, Hinata, Hiashi, and the Ōgakari clan were all looked at with distinction by the Hyūga for their part in the great change… except for Crypt, but no one could blame them for that considering he's… well, Crypt. Since that night, the entire clan had treated the group with the utmost of respect and approval, much to most of the Ōgakari clan's annoyance, since formalities did not mix with them well.

The remaining elders had even gone so far as to apologize - in a Hyūga way mind you, but still apologize - to Hinata for their treatment of her. They gave all sorts of excuses for their behavior, but Hinata just brushed it aside and said that as long as they don't give a repeat performance, they could consider it all water under the bridge. To be honest, Hinata didn't want to bother with their excuses much either, knowing that they either didn't mean it or that the ones that were really responsible for her suffering were getting what they earned tenfold from Ibiki. Said scarred man was extremely happy due to the fact that he had always wanted to get his hands on some of the more arrogant members of the village's clan hierarchy.

o. o. o.

In a dark room somewhere in Konoha:

"I AM VERY HAPPY!" Stated an elated Ibiki as he continued to work on one of the more pompous and currently screaming Hyūga elders.

See?

Let it be known that Ibiki was not one to hold in his emotions when he was 'working' without the task of obtaining information.

o. o. o.

Back to Neji and Hinata:

Neji sighed as he thought of all these events. "It's… an interesting experience, Hinata-sama… it will take some time for things to calm down… but I think I am beginning to finally feel as if I have a family again…"

Hinata looked at her cousin with a gentle smile. "That's good to hear, Neji-nii-san…"

Neji sighed as he turned to Hinata. "I should be more worried about you, Hinata-sama. You are going to fight up against Uzumaki-san in the finals… and your feelings for him are not exactly kept hidden…"

Hinata smiled at her cousin as she turned away from him. "… true, Nii-san. My feelings for Naruto-kun are not the best kept secret in the village…" Hinata stopped roughly a dozen meters from Neji before she started to spin rapidly, kicking up massive amounts of dust and erecting a Kaiten that just barely stopped short of impacting the stunned Neji. The barrier held firmly for well over 30 seconds before it started to recede, revealing the small girl's form again standing tall without a single flaw in her stance and breathing calmly inside a crater that was surprisingly deep for one made by a simple Kaiten… even though the size of the one she had just made was almost 6 times as big as the standard sized Kaiten. (A/N: Think of it this way. Judging from the manga, Neji's Kaiten reached a max distance of about 2 meters in radius.)

"… However, the exact range of my abilities is something that only a select few are aware of." She stated calmly before walking to her own area of the training grounds. "Do not worry about me, Nii-san. I am well aware of what Naruto-kun is capable of. More than that, he was my secret sparring partner before I joined Team 8. Your concern is comforting, but misplaced. If I were you, I would be still training for your match, Nii-san. Otherwise, Lee-kun might defeat you in front of the whole village before you can force him to open his gates…"

Neji stared at Hinata. "… to be perfectly honest Hinata, I would rather be defeated by him before he opens more than one gate than fight him with them open after what we saw in that match. Being a chūnin is pretty much worthless if every bone in my body is smashed and every organ is beaten to a pulp."

Hinata shook her head. "I'm surprised, Nii-san. Have you already forgotten what Gai-sensei's reaction was right before Lee-kun opened his gates? The technique was clearly forbidden, and the only reason why he even used it in the first place was because Ghost-sensei and Naruto-kun prompted him to use it, and even then he was unwilling to unleash it. Lee-kun would not use such a dangerous technique on you unless he was absolutely sure that there was no other way he would be able to win the match, Nii-san. Even then, you should have more faith in your teammate. Lee-kun would certainly know when to pull his punches should the need arises. He respects you greatly as his rival and his friend. Besides, I am actually interested in your match. It is, after all, the first match of the day. You two have a responsibility to start things off for the rest of us. You in particular will be representing the entire Hyūga clan. Not the Branch house, for those times are behind us, but our entire clan."

Neji stood in place as he contemplated Hinata's words while the girl walked away.

It wasn't until later that he realized that in addition to the massive crater, there were dozens of deep trenches and slash marks all around the initial hole that Hinata created, minus the small area that Neji had been standing in. The boy simply gaped as he analyzed the grounds in front of him. What he had at first assumed was a massive Kaiten was actually a combination of three separate attacks whose total effective range and lethality were enough to take down even a jōnin with ease if timed right, with a fairly large margin of error to boot.

During his spare time for the remainder of the month, Neji would ponder more than once about the oncoming match between Naruto and Hinata… and the odds of both of them coming out of the fight without being permanently crippled… or at least alive.

o. o. o.

In another part of the grounds:

"DODGE!" Roared Waltz as he punted another exploding soccer ball at Sakura, who barely managed to do just that as the flying projectile flew inches past her head before colliding with small boulder and blowing up spectacularly. Unfortunately, the girl didn't have time to marvel at the explosion as she had to jump out of the way of a falling Waltz, who shattered the earth effortlessly with a punch.

While this training was very similar to what the poor pink haired girl had gone through when she first trained with Tsunade, Waltz had decided to turn things up a notch and was constantly alternating between kicking explosives at the girl and surprise taijutsu attacks. It was easy to see that the old man was at least as powerful as her previous sensei, and just as fast despite the fact that he walked around in public with that wooden staff of his. She knew better than to fight back against the old man. The one time she tried to punch him, he countered it with his own.

He nearly shattered her arm when their fists met before her entire body was thrown almost 40 meters away. The old man had not even batted an eyelash from the collision. She would not make that mistake again.

Since she had started her training, her reflexes and chakra control had exploded, though she was still nowhere near her teammate's levels. With the old man's constant training, Ghost's previous conditioning, and her past memories restored, Sakura estimated that her reflexes, control, and form, were roughly 80% of what they were before the travel back in time. Her reserves were about 65%, but that was understandable considering she was still 13 and had not hit puberty yet. However, with her new training in genjutsu, she would almost hazard to say that she was even more dangerous as a whole than she was before.

Of course, that did nothing to save her from the giant of an old man that was constantly inches away from killing her for the sake of training.

"DODGE!" Yelled Waltz as he rushed towards the girl with surprising speed with an arm cocked back. Sakura wasted no time getting out of the old man's strike zone as he punched, but she missed the fact that he was holding his staff in his other hand and was hit hard when he swung his arm while she was focused on his punching arm. The girl went flying and hit another large boulder almost 20 yards away hard before landing on the ground. Sakura coughed heavily as she took note that her arm was at least fractured, most likely broken, when her nerves suddenly screamed at her claiming that danger was nearby. "DODGE!" Sakura did not bother to look as she kicked her protesting legs and propelled herself to the side just as the old man's frame fell through the air and crushed the ground beneath him.

"I heard you the first time…" Growled Sakura as she attempted to put some more space between her and the old man while healing her arm with medical ninjutsu.

"Could have fooled me." Waltz replied as he walked out slowly from the crater while leaning on his staff like a normal old man. "… you're still too easily distracted." He growled as his stone blue eyes met the girl's light green eyes. If a person had asked Sakura what had made her truly believe that the Ōgakari clan were all over 2000 years old, she would tell them that the look in their eyes when they were serious was what sealed the deal. There was an incredible power and presence that echoed through those eyes that simply could not be imitated.

And that feeling was triple when it came to Waltz. Those eyes spoke worlds about the man. Ghost may have had the most irregular eyes, but the old man definitely conveyed the strongest will. The pink haired girl would not have been surprised if the term 'set in stone' was originally talking about the old man's oculars.

"See the punch for what it is, a punch." The old man rumbled deeply. "Ignore how strong it is. Forget how strong I am, how old I am, how big my body is. When I punch at you, dodge where my attack's range is, where the arm will be, and while you are doing so, focus your eyes on my other limbs while keeping your nerves sharp to detect any potential trick that might happen near or behind you. The second you feel something is off, don't hesitate to move. It's better to be safe than dead. Keep your eyes open." Waltz lectured seriously.

Sakura frowned. "Well, excuse me for not having sensitive enough nerves yet. I'm still a genin physically, you know."

Waltz smirked. "True, however you have spent a fair amount of time undergoing Ghost's pranks and torment. Your reflexes are already far more developed than what they would be. Your training with me is to hone those senses further, to the point where you would instinctively react if a rogue kunai is thrown at you from behind on your off day, much less in the middle of a battle." He went silent for a moment before continuing. "Remember this, Sakura: among all the genin your age, you were among those that proved most useful in the future and showed the most progress with your enhanced strength and your exceptional medical skills. To be blunt about it, it's pretty much the ONLY reason why your memories were returned; otherwise we could have used the chain link you used for something else. Don't betray our expectations for you." Silence permeated the air as the old man let his words sink in to Sakura's head like a white hot nail. The girl had never outwardly admitted it, but she knew more than anyone else that before her training, she was absolutely useless as a shinobi in almost all aspects aside from making a few fast hand seals and being a living shinobi encyclopedia.

Waltz paused as he stood next to the boulder that Sakura had crashed into. Suddenly the man punched his free arm into it, causing his arm to stick in it temporarily before he lifted the entire thing with little to no effort above his head. Sakura gaped as she saw the sadistic grin on the old man's face as it was shadowed by the boulder over his head. "Let's continue our training now, shall we?"

o. o. o.

Several hours later, at the training grounds special recovery springs area:

"Ahhh!" Gai sighed as he relaxed in the springs next to his favorite student Lee. "These springs are most youthful, Lee! It makes training in this interesting area even more youthful and enjoyable than before! Nothing completes a great day of training than a relaxing bath in a hot springs!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei! These springs are most enjoyable!" Mini-Gai replied with conviction.

"Holy crap, so THAT's what you two look like when you're not wearing spandex." Chuckled Ghost as he and Crypt walked towards the springs with swimming trunks on. "I don't understand it. If you two wore almost anything else, and had a dresser do something about your hair and eyebrows, you two would be beating off women left and right!" He chuckled. Gai and Lee, on the other hand, were silent and momentarily freaked out due to the fact that they noted that Crypt had his arms free. Oh… and the fact that Ghost had a giant gaping hole on the right side of his chest. Ghost noted this as he saw the two staring at Crypt and himself. "Don't worry about Crypt; we managed to train him to not do anything while in bath houses and springs." He replied casually as if he was talking about a dog before getting in.

Gai recovered first as he noticed the smaller and more recent scratches on Ghost's body. The man smirked. While he would refrain from saying anything too… unyouthful, male banter was still going to be something that Lee would have to get used to as he got older. "I see you have several fresh marks on you, Ghost-san. Is that from your training, or from your… youthful time with Anko and Hana-san?"

Ghost smirked. "Take an unyouthful guess, Gai." The three elder males chuckled in their own way while Lee looked around in a confused manner. "It would be best if you waited a few years before you joined in on these conversations, Lee." Ghost laughed. "Lord knows you're impressionable enough already."

"They had sex…" Crypt whispered out loudly to Lee before Ghost punched the man hard in the face.

"So how is your instruction going, Ghost-san?" Gai asked curiously, also desperately trying to change the subject so Lee's mental scaring would be minimized. "I am curious to know about the improvements of the other students."

Ghost sighed as he stretched. Gai noted the details in the male's physique, as no one aside from Anko or Hana had actually gotten a detailed look at his body in action before. Most of the time that he was less-than-dressed, he was unconscious and being used as a guinea pig for medical training, meaning said body was maimed beyond all reason by Anko and Hana. It was a lean and solid body, not unlike ones found on dancers, built for extreme flexibility, agility and speed, but still fairly strong. That giant scar on his chest was concerning, though. Under most circumstances, a human with that sort of wound would either be dead, or would at least have trouble moving his right arm in certain directions. Ghost however, had no issues moving them in said directions, as he remembered several sparring sessions with the man where he performed acts of agility that even he had trouble following. Glancing at Crypt, Gai could tell that the man's body was an odd combination of flexibility and power. Even more odd were what he saw of the man's neck, back and jaw muscles. Those were CLEARLY the most developed of their kind he had ever seen on a human being. In addition to that, his arms were fairly taut and powerful, and his fingers had a claw like shape to them. "Let's see…" Ghost mused as he dropped his arms. "Hinata is still a monster. Her training these days is really just increasing her reserves and fine tuning her technique arsenal. She's also helping out Neji a bit, so he'll be able to put up a pretty good fight against you Lee, though anything above the First Gate would be inadvisable for the match…" He chuckled.

"I am still quite irritated that you convinced my student to use such a technique without my permission…" Growled Gai, seemingly ignoring Lee's look of shame next to him before he continued with a sigh. "… However, you did give Lee a good reason to do so. I did not enter him in the Exams until I knew he was at least chūnin material, and that means that I have to trust his judgment more. I cannot be there to instruct him when to and when to not use his final techniques, especially when he is unable to perform nin- and genjutsu. For that, Lee, I must apologize to you."

Lee started to cry. "Gai-sensei…"

"Guys, unless you want me AND Crypt to hug you again, you'll stop the sappy crap right now." Ghost stated bluntly, causing the two clones to shiver and Crypt to giggle. "Other than that, how is Lee's training been going so far?"

Gai managed to get his head back on straight and started to cough. "Yes, um. About that, I do not know what happened, but Lee's training has become more youthful than ever. Ever since we have begun training here, his overall ability has increased dramatically, as well as… well…"

"Something interesting happen?" Ghost asked curiously with an eyebrow raised. He almost missed the smirk that was on Crypt's face.

"I do not know why, but I am able to open the First Gate for much longer periods of time without suffering any side effects, aside from fatigue and minor muscle degeneration." Lee explained, getting an odd look from Ghost. "My training has become even more fulfilling, as I am somehow able to move at my best for longer periods of time as well. It is as if something happened to my body while I was recovering from my match against Naruto-kun…"

Ghost sighed as he moved towards Lee and examined his arms and body. He barely had to look at the boy before coming to the correct conclusion. "I should have known… you know, you should really start to ask people if they want their body's base genetic structure changed _before_ you start working them, Crypt." The man groaned, much to the shock of Gai and Lee.

"What?!" The pair practically screamed while Crypt giggled darkly.

"He does this sometimes." Ghost sighed as he got back into his seat. "My guess is he did it the afternoon the spy tried to kill Naruto after the preliminaries. Crypt has a habit of… rewarding people that have gained his interest that don't piss him off. Only problem is that he often does it without getting permission first."

Lee remained speechless as he looked at his own body. Gai on the other hand looked like he was only a few seconds away from mutilating Crypt. "What has he done to my student?" Gai growled in a dead serious tone.

Ghost lazily put his hands up. "Whoa, whoa. Calm down, Gai. Lee is still 100% human. Crypt is insane, but the guy is also as cunning and tricky as the rest of the family. All he did was upgrade Lee's body to accommodate his fighting style more. His muscles can take in more oxygen, he has stronger organs, he can probably use more than 20% of his body's muscles naturally now, and from what you've told me, his muscles can probably naturally handle more strain than normal, which is why Lee can open the First Gate without much feedback now. If anything, you could probably say that Crypt just gave Lee a bloodline limit, albeit a small one. This isn't the first time he's done this to someone."

Gai and Lee froze at this information. "I… have a bloodline limit?" Lee stammered.

Ghost nodded. "In a very vague way, yes, you do. I don't know how your inability to sense chakra works, so I don't know if THAT is genetic, but what Crypt gave you is written into your very cells." The man shrugged. "You still have to practice taijutsu and train your body to become strong. In your case, your upper limits and average physical ability are potentially drastically higher than the average shinobi. Your recovery potency will be higher than a normal shinobi's as well, so you will be able to take more damage than most people would, although I would still advise you from doing anything too stupid. Other than that…" Ghost pondered as he made a mental checklist of Lee's skills. "I THINK, keyword here because I'm not too keen on testing this, but I think that if you ever become skilled enough to open all 8 Gates, you MIGHT be able survive afterwards… although I would absolutely recommend against doing so." He relaxed back into his seat. "Just make sure not to tell anyone about this. Crypt only gives upgrades to people that have gained his respect. Most people don't reach that point before they become a bloody mess on the floor."

Crypt chuckled, gaining the pair's attention. They shifted in unease as they noticed his blood red eyes focusing on them without wavering in the slightest. The spark of insanity was absent as the sight of a cold blooded fighter appeared before the two taijutsu experts. "Keep fighting, kid." Crypt growled. "… It's rare for someone like you to appear in our line of work and get this far. Consider what I gave you a reward for your achievements." His stained eyes flashed hungrily. "Put it to good use. I'm looking forward to what you will accomplish in the future…"

o. o. o.

In Sunagakure:

"Good work, Baki…" The Kazekage droned from behind his blinds.

"There was a bit of trouble during the preliminaries, but Temari and Gaara have managed to safely advance to the finals. There should be no issues with the plan…" Baki stated with his head bowed down.

"Indeed…" The Kazekage said, clearly trying to hide his disappointment with his eldest son. "… Now, from here… I presume our deal with the Sound is still strong?"

Baki nodded slightly as he took out the scroll that Kabuto had given him and handed it to one of his leader's assistants. "Here's the plan from Sound."

The leader of Suna paused. "Then… we will be counting on the work of you and your team that the day…"

"… but Kazekage-sama, with only 4 members including me, can we not place troops around the border of Fire Country and call it a military exercise?" Baki asked, concerned about the entire situation.

"Konoha isn't stupid…" One of the advisors answered. "Their ANBU are already on the move. If we do that, we will draw too much attention to ourselves." He took out a registration form that was commonly used for enabling foreign ninja into other countries. "As expected, the forces we can bring into Konoha are severely restricted. That is why we sent Gaara and the others…"

Baki remained silent as his way of accepting the reasons for such little backup.

"Now… go." The Kazekage stated.

"As you command…" Baki stated as he shunshined out of the room.

Why? He thought to himself as he jumped over the buildings of his home town. Why had he not spoken up about Gaara's recent change in behavior? It was clear that the boy was hiding something from him, and he did not like what Kankurō and Temari had told him about the blonde talking to Gaara in such a familiar manner before the Exams. He REALLY didn't like it when he saw said blonde in action during the preliminaries. If his hunch was correct, then going through with the invasion plan was an extremely bad idea, regardless of what potential spoils could be obtained should they prove victorious. He could not help but think that Suna was getting taken advantage of in some way with this deal.

Baki was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost missed the person spying on him. The man stopped on the roof of a large building and turned around. "Who's there?! Show yourself!" Baki ordered out in a tone that betrayed none of his unease at the moment.

His expression however changed drastically as he heard a dry cackling from his pursuer as a shadow appeared in front of him.

"You! What are you of all people doing here?!"

o. o. o.

Back at the compound:

Scabbard stood silently over Tenten as the girl put the finishing touches on her new set of sealed kunai. The daggers were inscribed with a special lightning element seal that would let out a large electromagnetic pulse when triggered. They were near useless in an up front battle, but they do manage to disorient unaware opponents that are caught in the blast, among other things.

"There!" Tenten claimed as she breathed out a breath of relief. She had been working on these particular kunai for a while now and they were proving to be more challenging than she had first assumed.

"Impressive…" Scabbard mused. "I assumed that it would take you longer to finish the seals for this task."

Tenten chuckled. "This? Yeah, it was proving to be a bit difficult for me to make at first, but then when I thought about what it was supposed to do and the nature of its uses, it all fell into place after a while…"

"Indeed." Scab replied as he looked at the girl's collection of weapons to her side. "… I am intrigued. How can you wield such a wide variety of weapons so easily? I have seen you practice before with a good number of them, and I have yet to see a weapon in your hands that did not dance with less grace than a bird. You are too young to have trained thoroughly with each brand separately and still have the same level of skill as you do now."

Tenten blushed as she chuckled nervously. "I really don't know. Every time I pick up a weapon, it's like they're a part of me. Every time I see one, I can tell how it was made, the nature of each one… hell, sometimes I can practically see the past of some of the more used ones. Even my dad is confused by it sometimes… I mean, I still have to practice to get the kinks out of my form, but for the most part it's like all the training is stuck in me the second I pick the things up."

Scabbard had not taken his eyes off the girl as she explained her affinity with weapons. Something … intent had entered his eyes during her explanation. "… may I… ask you a few questions?" He asked hesitantly.

Tenten blinked. "Sure… I guess."

Scabbard sat down and continued to stare at the girl, unnerving her a bit. "Do you make all your weapons yourself?"

Tenten nodded. "Almost. My family owns a weapons shop and we deal with many blacksmiths, but we make a few ourselves as well. My folks never let me near the premade weapons when I was little, so I started to help my dad in the forge as the next best thing. Next thing I knew, I was making kunai and shuriken for my classes in the academy, then some tantō for the ANBU that drop by the shop. Pretty soon I was repairing and doing custom orders instead of my dad, since I was better at it than he was…"

Scabbard nodded, blinking slowly as he looked at the girl's weapons carefully, raising an eyebrow as he noticed a sword among the cluster of well-made blades. "… I see you have attempted to recreate the sword I made for your shop as a gift…" He picked the blade up and examined it with a critical eye, not paying attention to the blushing girl. "… Impressive work. It is not up to my level, but you seem to have the idea and feel of the blade down quite well. Do you replicate weapons often?"

Tenten kept her head down. "Yeah. It's how I got so good at smithing. I kept on seeing all these beautiful weapons passing by me while working in the shop, and I couldn't help myself. I would always think to myself, what if I had this sword? This axe? A lot of people seem to be able to tell how strong a person is or what they lived through just by looking at them. They wonder what it would be like to live like that, or be that person, to imitate them and try to be like them. I guess I do the same thing, only with weapons. Whenever I see a sword or a blade with a strong history, I get weak in the knees. I can practically feel what they went through, what purpose they held at some point even if I can't tell what it is at the moment…"

"These… fakes… do you make them often?" Scabbard asked, not noticing Tenten wincing at the word 'fake'.

"Y-yeah…" She mumbled. "They come out well, but they're never as good as the original…"

"And I assume that you use these fakes in combat?" Scabbard asked as his eyes brushed over the weapons in the girl's arsenal and seeing that she had a replica of Zabuza's executioner blade before he himself had tweaked it.

Tenten's temper was rising as the man continued to use the word 'fake' to describe her weapons. "Yeah, the ones that are good enough for combat…" She replied defiantly.

Waltz paused for a moment as he looked at the weapons, the nicks in the blades, the signs of use, blood and sweat. He only needed a little more information… "You prefer to use your fakes in combat rather than the originals… you feel as if they are more natural for you to use, yet the forms you take when you wield them are astonishingly similar to those used with the original weapons without even trying… correct?"

Tenten froze. She was about to ream the man a new dozen holes when he asked about her ability to naturally use weapons the way they were meant to be used. No one had ever discovered that hidden trait of hers, and she had made sure that she had never told anyone about it, either. "H-how…?" She stammered in confusion.

Reaching into his coat, Scabbard took out a small jeweled dagger and handed it to the girl, who eyed it skeptically. "…what can you tell me about this blade?"

Tenten remained quiet as she held the blade in her hands, shifting over and staring at the jewels. "This… isn't a normal dagger…" She started slowly. "There's a lot of blood on it… but it hasn't seen much battle… for sacrifices? It's taken something from its victims… and stores… I want to say chakra in its jewels, but that doesn't seem right…" She mused.

Scabbard nodded slowly. "What you have in your hands was a dagger used in rituals to steal the life energy of those who were stabbed. The energy could then be converted for a number of purposes that I will not go into detail. I will say that that blade in particular belonged to a rather disturbed and unbalanced group of individuals that my family took down many years ago." He reached out and took the dagger away from the shocked girl.

Tenten was deathly quiet. "W-why would you show me such a thing? Do you really expect me to try to recreate such a tool?"

Scabbard remained quiet as he had pondered what he had just discovered about the girl for several minutes. "… among all the people I have met in my travels… there was one man alone who I truly considered my brother in all but blood." He started off slowly. "… he was the only man I knew of that could create weapons as fast as I could… but in more variety, and lethality…" He let his words sink in to Tenten's head before he continued. "… and the oddest thing about him was that he was a Faker… like you." Tenten's eyes widened in shock. "All the weapons he created were temporary constructs, created by a technique that he used… and they were all copies of the originals that he had seen at some point in his life. The copies had all the powers, purpose, properties, and material compositions of the original, and held the same memories as well, enabling him to wield them expertly without exception, as if he was the one that brought the blade's name into the history books himself. The only flaw was that the quality of the weapons were always just short of the original… yet that did nothing to reduce how dangerous he was on the battlefield."

Tenten remained quiet as she gave Scabbard her full attention, as if she were listening to the greatest story she had ever heard in her entire life.

"We… parted ways a while back…" Scabbard sighed as he closed his eyes. "But I gained permission from him to make his final technique my own if I ever managed to pull it off… and until recently, it has been out of even my reach…" Tenten's eyes widened as the man stood up. "This is the final technique of the strongest blacksmith I have ever met. It can only be performed by those whose hearts belong to the forge, who look at weapons differently than others, who can see the true history of a warrior's greatest ally with the glimpse of an eye. Should you train hard enough, this technique will eventually be yours. Do not, however, think that you will be able to learn this before the Exams. For now, please keep this a secret. Even my family does not know that I have completed this technique…"

Tenten nodded shakily as she stared at the man in awe.

Scabbard took in a deep breath and started to mold his chakra while letting his mind conjure up the landscape of the technique.

A graveyard of blades, a sun the color of past blood…

o. o. o.

Later that day, at the Hokage's tower:

Sarutobi sighed from his desk as he looked down at the severely beaten and tied up bodies of Ghost and Crypt. "… am I going to be experiencing this frequently?" The Hokage asked in a tired voice.

"What?" Grumbled a semi-conscious Ghost. "Is it my fault that women in this town don't appreciate good music?"

Sarutobi frowned. "They don't when you are covered in the audience's unmentionables and you're standing on the rooftops overlooking the hot springs they are trying to bathe in."

"… or when a second suspicious male character starts singing in a female voice from the middle of the crowd, also covered in said unmentionables."

"Heheheh. I was the girl singer." Crypt giggled, remembering how he started his solo while dancing in the middle of the bath area with all his clothes on and panties on his head. He had scared the shit out of more than half of the women in the bath area without doing anything homicidal or intimidating at all. That took pure skill.

"But… how could they possibly hate Cuban Pete? I'm the king of the Ramba beat! When I play the Maracas I go…" Ghost's build into song again was interrupted via several pissed female ANBU materialized out of nowhere with blades to his throat. "… everybody's a critic these days." He grumbled. "From their reaction you would have thought I freaking Rick-Rolled them…" (A/N: Thank you NightDranzer for reminding me of the awesomeness of Cuban Pete.)

Sarutobi sighed. "Ghost, if you are done fooling around, I have some information that I want to share with you."

Ghost pouted as the ANBU took their blades away from his neck. "Fine." He seemingly instantly sprung free of his bindings and sat on a chair, the ropes laying in a neat coil by his feet. Crypt… was rolling on the ground still.

Sarutobi's demeanor darkened as he made a signal for his ANBU to exit the room and set up the privacy seals. "Things have become more… complicated recently." He reached into his pocket and gave Ghost a scroll.

Opening it up and reading the contents, the immortal's face portrayed curiosity. "Interesting… so you and Ōnoki once went to a bar during the Second War when you were trying to negotiate a peace treaty and…"

"NOT THAT PART!" Sarutobi roared with a red face. "The other bit!"

Ghost chuckled as he continued to read the scroll. "… so the Oompa Loompa of Iwa is gonna be watching the show, eh? That is a bit concerning." He muttered, scanning the paper briefly before stopping at a single name. "Wait… Rōshi?" Ghost looked up at Sarutobi. "Please don't tell me that he's referring to…"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes. Ōnoki's old teammate from his childhood is indeed the current container for the four tails… and he is also an old drinking compatriot of mine… although last I heard, he and Ōnoki had a falling out after a major argument a few years ago."

Ghost groaned as he rubbed his forehead. "Ugh. It's true. ALL old people know each other." He took a deep breath. "So let me get this straight: the Tsuchikage is coming over to Konoha to watch the Chūnin Exams, more than likely as an excuse to get a better look at blondie, and he is also bringing with him the container of the four tailed monkey, both completely unaware that there is going to be an invasion on said day… ugh, this is going to be a pain in the ass to work around."

Sarutobi nodded. "Indeed, and with the presence of three jinchūriki, the odds of Akatsuki making a radical move become more likely…" He stopped as he saw Ghost sweating nervously. "… there ARE going to be three at the most… right?" He asked hopefully, mentally praying and screaming that the Ōgakari didn't do something so stupid as to lure more of the containers to his village during the Exams.

Ghost chuckled nervously. That was not a good sign.

"Um… well, funny thing about that. You see… when Scab first arrived in this world, he sort of established a connection with… the container of the… two tails… and he recently… perhaps… sent her a message to come… see the Exams?"

Sarutobi looked long and hard at Ghost with a stern gaze that betrayed little of the thoughts going through his head. After several moments of silence (Crypt's random giggles don't count.), the leader spoke again. "… I am unaware of the identities and locations of most of the jinchūriki. What village is she from?" He asked sternly in a tone that would not accept a half assed answer.

Ghost nodded lightly, knowing that dicking around was not the right move to make at the moment. "Her name is Yugito Nii. She's in her mid 20's right now, if my info is right. She's a Kumo jōnin."

Sarutobi frowned. "Kumo? You do realize that if I allow her to enter the village, there will be much complaining from several council members, especially from the Hyūga…"

Ghost frowned as well. "Well, it sucks to be them. Kumo has two jinchūriki at the moment, and I'm pretty sure there's no way in hell the Raikage will let his BROTHER of all people go outside of his country's borders just to see the Chūnin Exams in Konoha, no matter how interesting it might seem." Sarutobi's eyes narrowed at the revelation that the brother of the current Raikage was a jinchūriki. "From what I know, Yugito and Bee are pretty close, or at least close enough that they listen when the other speaks. You get one in on the plan, you get them both. If Hiashi has a cow about letting a few Kumo-nin into the village, take him aside and tell him that the Ōgakari clan PERSONALLY asked for those individuals to be let in, and if he still feels uncomfortable, remind him about our seal and that he could always beef up security around the compound until you get word that they've all left."

Sarutobi sighed. "Fine, but if something goes wrong, it's on your head."

"When isn't it?" Ghost replied tiredly. "Did you get Kuma to send the message?"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes. Luckily, his students were not the ones that Orochimaru impersonated in the Exams, but he did notice that something wasn't right."

Ghost shook his head. "It doesn't matter anyways. Kusa is still an ally of Konoha, and as long as they send a few jōnin here and there for the invasion, things will work out even better. Trade between our two countries will increase, and relationships will be stronger than before, which is what we want when Madara shows his face again… sort of."

"Indeed." Grumbled the Hokage. "Just make sure that everyone involved knows about this recent development so we don't step on any new toes by accident."

"I wonder what kind of jam these toes have…" Crypt pondered to himself

"Done and done." Ghost nodded. "I'm gonna have Kurenai go over some dispelling techniques again with the kids 'just in case' in a few days, so none of them should be caught off guard when the genjutsu hits the arena. Scab is going to continue his upgrades to the place as well in order to rake in a few bucks for the village as a whole." He paused as Sarutobi stared at him incredulously. "What? We give the people a good show and even if there's an invasion, the next time the Exams hit the village, the turnout will be even bigger, and hence make more money for the village, and hence we get to piss off the civilian council even more by giving them another reason to keep us here. Telling them that us knowing how to throw better parties than they do is a reason for us to stay is roughly the same as telling them that Gai's spandex training suit is a better fashion statement than their current attire."

"Your logic never ceases to amaze me…" Grumbled the old man in a sarcastic tone. "I like the part about pissing off the civilian council members, though. They've been getting restless about the Exams lately, and they've been trying to sneak in their own demands into other paperwork. It's a lot easier with shadow clones examining multiple papers at once so I don't have to rush through anything anymore."

Ghost nodded. "You remember to note down any names related to the slipped in stuff?"

"Of course. It's a great way to shut them up whenever they bug me about something miniscule." Sarutobi chuckled.

Ghost sighed as he turned to the doorway. "… we still on for that little sparring session later this week?"

Sarutobi gave Ghost a confident and mischievous look. "Of course. I have to make sure that I'm in peak condition in time for the invasion, after all. Plus, it's very therapeutic trying to kill you and everything."

Ghost laughed lightly. "You'd be surprised how many people say that. Just feel lucky that I don't feel guilty about beating the crap out of old people or you would have to find someone else to spar against that can fight on our level yet still hold back. Come on Crypt, I gotta train some brats."

"Yay! I'm gonna see strawberry ice cream boy again!" Crypt cheered as he followed Ghost through the doorway with a skip, somehow escaping from his bonds in the middle of the conversation.

"Who the hell are you calling old?" Grumbled Sarutobi as the door closed behind the pair.

As the two walked through the streets of Konoha, Crypt's skip slowly disappeared and gave way to a steady pace. "… what did you hide from the old man?" Crypt growled anxiously.

Ghost smirked. "Why brother, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"You never denied that there wouldn't be more hosts at the exams…" The man chuckled deeply. The pair had decided to turn down one of the less-traveled streets of the village in order to dodge the late afternoon traffic.

Ghost sighed. "I guess it must have slipped my mind…" He paused as he noted the look Crypt was giving him. "Okay, fine. I MAY have asked one of the jōnin-sensei of the Waterfall teams to deliver a message to Fū right before they left after their teams failed the Exams." Ghost grumbled.

Crypt was about to reply when both males noticed a decently sized group of individuals blocking their path on the road. It should be noted that the three in front were all Hyūga.

"You…" Growled the leading Hyūga as he glared at the pair of men. "You have doomed our clan! Embarrassed us! Made us _weak_! Framed us of crimes that are below us!"

"Huh?" Ghost replied intelligently.

"Oooh. More ice cream people!" Crypt bounced eagerly, already back into his insane persona.

"You have ruined the Hyūga clan and done us a great injustice." Spoke up another of the Hyūga. "Our standing is tarnished, and many of us have been forced to abandon our homes. We will not stand for this."

"Oh, I know who these guys are…" Ghost replied absentmindedly, seemingly not paying attention to the fact that they were being surrounded by the mercenaries slowly. "You three were those Main house guys Hiashi was looking for that managed to run away during the change! The ones that the Branch house women said were sexual deviants and often looted the clan's treasury… that explains all the cannon fodder…" He paused as Crypt gave him a confused look. "They're bad ice cream, Crypt."

Crypt's eyes widened. "Bad ice cream? How is that possible?!"

Ghost crossed his arms, completely ignoring the dangerous men closing in on them, especially the twitching Hyūga. "Well, Crypt, because ice cream has milk in it, depending on how the ingredients are mixed, it is possible that either A. it is left alone for too long and curdles, or B. someone mixed the ice cream the wrong way and it ends up more like whipped cream… bad whipped cream…"

"Those monsters!" Crypt shouted.

"I've had enough of this." Growled the third member as he assumed a Jūken stance. "I will end this here. You are in the range of my divination…" He glared at Crypt.

"Um. I wouldn't point at Crypt if I were you… fingers have been lost that way…" Ghost warned casually.

"I think they used the money they stole to pay for these weaklings." Crypt whispered loudly, causing the thugs to glare at him with rage.

The man smirked as he suddenly turned and rushed at the speaker. "8 Trigrams: 64 Palms!" He shouted, about to strike at Ghost.

What happened next could only be seen clearly by those who had been in high level fights before. Just as the man's strikes were about to hit Ghost, Ghost whipped out one of his hands and grabbed onto his attacker's outstretched fingers and effectively broke them with a flick of his wrist. Immediately afterwards, his opposite leg kicked out, nailing the man in the jewels before Ghost jumped up with his other leg, grabbed the Hyūga's head, and kneed him in the face while using the first kick's momentum to quickly spin at blurring speed. The combination of sudden, unexpected pain and extreme acceleration knocked the Hyūga out so quickly that he later wouldn't remember anything after his charge. As Ghost landed, the Hyūga lazily spun through the air until he hit a wall, where he limply fell to the ground.

The entire thing took less than 1.25 seconds.

Ghost simply yawned and stretched without a care in the world. "What? You should have assumed that we have some decent moves. I mean, it's not like no one's heard of my assassination record already."

"Kill them!" Roared one of the remaining Hyūga, prompting a chain reaction from the other men and causing a mad rush towards the pair.

Not one of the poor bastards had noticed the entire time he was giggling, Crypt had been biting his lips with his long fangs, causing them to bleed…

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Rice Paddies:

Orochimaru chuckled darkly as he went over the list of forces that he would be sending to Konoha. As he skimmed over the list, he couldn't help but muse over his latest additions.

Due to Danzō's requests, he had been forced to include some… temperamental warriors to the plan. Under most circumstances, he would refrain from using such… resources. They were too unstable, difficult to manage in the field, and he personally didn't want anyone to know of his successful experiments yet. However, his single experience with the Ōgakari had revealed to him that they were not to be underestimated by any margin. Besides, what was the worst that could happen, the units going berserk and destroying more of Konoha? To be perfectly honest, this was the safest situation that he could unleash them to their full potential and see the results of his work.

Looking to his side, his eyes narrowed as he gazed upon the unconscious forms of Zaku and Kin. The two pawns had been utter disappointments in the grand scheme of things, not even being able to make it to the third round of the Chūnin Exams. Dosu even more so. The poor deluded fool actually believed he could stand up to Gaara, and tried to kill him to ensure that Sasuke or Naruto would make it to the finals and got killed in the process. Oh well. They were pawns in the beginning, so their failure was not a real blow to the plan. The pair in front of him could still serve their purpose as sacrifices for the Edo Tensei Technique.

Orochimaru marveled at one of his greatest accomplishments so far. The technique required the DNA of the soul that was to be brought back, an incredibly large and complicated array of seals, and a living body to serve as a medium. To be perfectly honest, the technique didn't actually require a sacrifice, as the medium's life force was used to power the recovered soul and the jutsu they performed. In theory, if the caster used a strong medium or summoned a weak soul, the medium could survive the ordeal. However, the recovered souls that Orochimaru used were normally so disproportionally stronger than their mediums that it was more appropriate to use the term sacrifices for the positions the two children were occupying. The only reason why the possessed bodies last so long is because Orochimaru modified the Edo Tensei seals to force the medium's body to open all 8 Gates upon activation. What was even greater was that because the mediums were supplying the souls with power, the technique did almost nothing to his reserves aside from the initial summoning of the bodies. That being said, in theory he COULD be able to skip using mediums for the technique entirely and use his own chakra to power the bodies, however the constant drain required to power even one of the past Hokage was far more taxing than he would like. He had gone through several hundred test subjects to get it right, but the results were well worth it in his opinion.

His musings were cut short by a knock on the door. "Orochimaru-sama, we have confirmation from Suna for the plan. They will follow our instructions and join in on the invasion…"

"Kukuku…" Orochimaru chuckled. "Good, Kabuto. I assume that the Kazekage will be moving to Konoha within the next two weeks?"

Kabuto nodded as he walked in through the door. "That is correct, Orochimaru-sama. He has even been kind enough to inform us of the route he will take to get there in case we need to inform him of something at the last second…"

"How thoughtful of them…" The Sannin chuckled evilly. "Has there been any word from our remaining spies in Konoha?"

Kabuto shook his head. "Nothing that we have not heard already Orochimaru-sama. Sasuke-kun and the other Konoha genin are still training in the Ōgakari clan compound, which is surprisingly well protected, with hidden traps and seals that would trick or deter most shinobi. Hokage-sama has been giving out secret orders to prepare for the worst in the Exams, of course… however, I would like to inform you of something rather interesting regarding the Hyūga…"

"Oh?" Orochimaru asked curiously. "Did the Ōgakari somehow manage to unify the clan and give them a seal that protects their bloodline more efficiently?"

Kabuto sweated nervously, knowing that his leader was joking. "Um… yes?"

The Sannin's eyes flashed momentarily before narrowing. "… care to repeat that, Kabuto-kun?"

Kabuto gulped as he got on one knee and took out a scroll. "Y-yes, Orochimaru-sama. Several days ago, the Ōgakari clan entered the Hyūga clan's compound under the impression that there was some business to be done. A good portion of the incident was kept under wraps, but the bulk of the story was that the clan, with the approval and support of Hiashi Hyūga, his daughter Hinata, and his nephew Neji, managed to in one fell swoop remove and replace the Caged Bird Seals on all the Branch house members with what is being called an Outer Light Seal. In addition to that, they have also unveiled a conspiracy within the clan to overthrow the current head by clan members that are obsessed with more traditional ways of thinking…"

Orochimaru tuned Kabuto out as he continued on his explanation of the conspiracy. The Caged Bird Seal was something that had taken up more than a fair share of his time while he was experimenting in Konoha. Unraveling the technique's secrets was something of a test for the man, as the seal represented a level of the sealing arts that he had not achieved yet, and as such mocked him in a way. Not only that, but he believed he could unlock the secrets of almost any bloodline limit by analyzing the seal and seeing how it interfaced with the host. He had spent years on the few kidnapped Branch house Hyūga that he had managed to get his hands on; analyzing the seal, poking and prodding it carefully in almost every physical and theoretical way he could possibly conceive, but he could not crack the stupid tattoo's secrets.

… But the Ōgakari managed to pull it off within at most a year and a half. Not only that, but they managed to do that AND produce a better seal within the same time frame. Such things should not be possible, even if they were given the schematics for the seals and their blood. The process and meticulous measurements to make sure that there were no issues with such a seal would require even HIM at least 5 years before he came up with a solid result… that gave a good chance of survival, of course.

If they could perform such an act with the Caged Bird Seal, then if they had access to his Curse Seal…

"Kabuto!" Orochimaru said sternly, snapping his unnerved right hand out from his explanation of the Hyūga clan affairs.

"Yes, Orochimaru-sama?" Kabuto asked nervously.

The Sannin's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I believe there will be a slight change of plans during the invasion. We will have to get our hands on Sasuke-kun earlier than anticipated…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ugh. School. Evil.

So. I managed to finish this chapter. Huzzah. Sorry if there's more of my OC's than most people would like here, but it just sort of happened this time. I'll try to tone it down a bit next chapter.

If you guys know what Scabbard is going to teach Tenten, don't freak out and start complaining about the difference is between magical power and chakra. Scabbard isn't using the original technique, he's using a bastardized version that he created via chakra and ninjutsu. Tenten won't be using that move any time soon

Crypt's real personality came out a lot more than I realized this chapter. I wasn't trying to make that happen, but it did. Just don't get used to it.

Also, expect a DCD fiasco to happen after the invasion (insert maniacal laughter).

This is to anyone who feels like it:

I am trying to think of Omake to stick into the story, but I am falling drastically short of my quota since almost anything I think up of goes into the main story. If you guys think of any short skit-like incident that would occur in my story, and you think it's actually good and fits into the storyline, don't hesitate to send it to me. I will post it up on the bottom of the next chapter, stick your writer's name on top of it, and praise your name since it lets me type less for the chapter. Remember, keep it reasonably short-ish and make sure that everyone stay's in character (for what it's worth).

So... yeah, art, in case anyone's forgotten. My sis gave me a new pic of Shadow and it's on my profile, so check it out if you want.

May the Log be with you, and may Kishimoto finally stop writing about Sasuke already. 'Til next time, folks.

…

Editor's note: There actually is some precedent for naturally blonde haired, blue eyed Japanese people.

Typically, these people were produced by the couplings of Japanese prostitutes and Dutch traders, who for a few centuries were the only European foreigners legally allowed in Japan, after Japanese Christians were persecuted after they attempted, but failed, to topple the Shogunate.

(Shimabara Uprising, 1637. Wasn't just Christians, though their frequent persecution definitely added to the discontent. The Daimyō of the region at the time (Matsukura Katsuie) raised taxes horrendously in order to recover financially after he built a new castle. There was a peasant rebellion, due to this and other grievances. It was put down by the Shogunate. Because one of the rebel leaders, Amakusa Shirō, was Catholic, Catholics in general received quite a bit of blame. On the other hand, the Daimyō was found guilty of misrule and beheaded. So, at least _something_ positive came of it.)

As a result of the rebellion (debatably, though in my experience, you can find a historian ready to debate just about anything), Christianity was officially banned, Christians were hunted down and legally tortured until they renounced their religion, and any Christian nation that formerly had rights to trade with Japan were formally barred, leaving a Dutch monopoly.

Since only one port allowed Dutch traders to dock (Dejima, in modern Nagasaki Prefecture), one of the first things that sailors wanted after months cooped up on a ship were alcohol, women, and preferably quite a bit of both, and birth control wasn't really a thing back then, the brothels of this port town did quite a bit of business. As can be expected, nature ensued, and some of the children carried more of their father's features than Japanese culture was comfortable with.

Such offspring, or at least the ones that were visibly 'un-Japanese', were stigmatized for two reasons: for being the descendants of 'barbarians' (foreigners), and for being the descendants of prostitutes. Thus, they could have quite a difficult time finding legal work. Prostitution was not uncommon, because that's an occupation where exotic looks are considered an asset. The recursion continued.

Thus making Naruto's comment above eminently possible, and raising interesting questions about the parentage of Kumo's dark-skinned, light-haired population (who will never come close to touching the greatness that is Bobobo Bobobobo, no matter how much Bee may (unintentionally) try). And Minato, the Uzumaki, and the Yamanaka, I guess. And since the whole story takes place on one continent and gives little to no information about the entire rest of the world, we have no clue where these traits could've come from.

Then again, this could just be Anime Hair, where a black hair and a blonde hair could end up making a florescent pink haired baby, so what-the-hell-ever.

So, now you know.

And knowing is half the ba-*Is shot!*

(Thinking on it, that joke is older than I am. The internet is a strange place.)


	36. Oh, Crypt's pants, they are a changin'… thank sweet merciful god.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 36: Oh, Crypt's pants, they are a changin'… thank sweet merciful god.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

Quote of the week: King Dedede: "I'm not fat, I'm just overly sexy."

o. o. o.

First, a word from Ibiki:

"I AM EVEN HAPPIER THAN I WAS IN THE LAST CHAPTER!" The man roared as he smiled sadistically at the three Hyūga that Ghost and Crypt beat the shit out of off screen last chapter.

Thanks, Ibiki. Now back to the story.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari clan training grounds:

Chōji groaned as his headache threatened to convince the boy to knock himself unconscious. Ever since he finished brushing up on his earth elemental composition training, he had been training nonstop with Kurenai in detecting and dispelling genjutsu, and busy learning the new C-rank ninjutsu that Ghost-sensei picked out for him to use in his upcoming fight. This usually wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that both forms of training assaulted his head in different and often painful ways. The good news was that he was getting the hang of his training, finally, and the new ninjutsu was also one that luckily meshed with his current arsenal of techniques extremely well. The result was that the original C-rank level of the move now had the power of an upper B-rank earth style technique on average, mid-A range if he pulled out all the stops.

"Kurenai-sensei, can we take a break already?" Ino whined tiredly next to him. Chōji briefly smiled as he stared at his teammate and somewhat hidden crush. Ever since Anko managed to occasionally ditch Ino onto Kurenai while the purple haired woman had… fun, the Akimichi's sessions with the illusion mistress became somewhat more manageable in his opinion. In Kurenai's opinion… not so much. "You've been putting us under illusion after illusion for the past 4 hours! Even you must be getting tired of this by now."

Kurenai sighed. She really didn't like to train Ino. The girl simply did not have the patience to become adept at detecting or dispelling illusions, even if her chakra control was quite impressive. The girl was the second lowest among the girls at healing, next to Tenten, but that still put her miles ahead of almost all the boys. It actually served her quite well, as the additional information regarding the human body aided her in creating incredibly potent poisons and concoctions. Still, conjuring up constant C- and B-rank illusions for the past few hours was starting to take a toll on the jōnin, not to mention Ino's constant moaning. She supposed a small break couldn't hurt. "Fine. You two can have an hour break before we get back to training. I am expecting you two to be able to detect and dispel at least ¾ of the illusions I will put you under before our time here is up, otherwise I can't say I will be confident in your chances winning your matches…"

Ino brushed off Kurenai's warning as she started to walk away. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say, Kurenai-sensei."

Kurenai's eyebrow twitched as she watched Ino leave. "Why, that little…" She growled.

"Ah. Ino! Wait up!" Chōji called, snapping out of his delirium and chasing after his teammate.

Ino sighed. "Hurry up, Chōji, or I'm leaving you behind." The blonde girl had mixed feelings about her beefy teammate. On the one hand, he was a nice guy. He always helped out, and rarely had anything bad to say about anyone. Plus, he was kind of cute in a pudgy sort of way. On the other hand, he was a complete pushover unless you pissed him off, and, well, he was still kind of fat for her tastes.

Chōji caught up to Ino. "You know, you shouldn't bug Kurenai-sensei like that." He advised worriedly. "She's trying to prepare us for our matches, and it's not exactly helping when you disrespect her…"

Ino groaned. "Not this again. How many times do I have to repeat myself, Chōji? I just can't get used to her. The woman is too uptight all the time, and it doesn't help that she's boring as Iruka-sensei. Besides, it's only forehead or that Oboro guy that I need to worry about using genjutsu, and those two are going to beat the living daylights out of each other before I get to them…"

Chōji looked away as he remembered his few times meeting up with Shikamaru since they started training down there. Though most people wouldn't be able to tell, the Nara was stressed out about something, and that never happens unless something important was going to happen… or his mom was coming by.

It wasn't until Chōji asked his best friend what was wrong that he got a bad feeling in his stomach, his legendary Akimichi-sized stomach.

 _"… Train, Chōji."_ Shikamaru's voice replied in the boy's head. _"… Train as much as you can before the Exams get here. And whatever you do during them, keep your eyes open…"_

"… it's not the Exams I'm worried about…" Chōji mumbled under his breath as he walked along the blonde.

"Huh?" Ino asked curiously as she glanced at her disturbed friend curiously. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Um… nothing!" Chōji stammered out, knowing that what Shikamaru warned him about was supposed to be secret, and hence would lose its purpose the hour Ino finds out.

"Chōji…" Ino stepped to the nervous boy with a glare in her eyes. "My gossip senses are starting to go off. You're hiding something from me… and you know what happens when someone starts hiding things from me that I want to know…" The girl reaches out behind her back for one of her poison laced senbon. The ones she was reaching for were some of the weaker paralysis concoctions; she both knew better and didn't have the heart to use some of the stronger variations on the boy. He was too nice to be subjected to such treatment. Plus, it didn't hurt that he was incredibly easy to break by her standards.

Chōji gulped as he stepped away from the girl. "S-Sorry Ino, but I can't tell you. It's supposed to be a secret… and you aren't exactly the most secretive person when it comes to this stuff…"

Ino's eyebrow twitched as she drew out her senbon. "Chōji, I WILL find out one way or another, the only choice you have right now is how painful I can make it before you actually spill…"

Chōji took in a deep breath. Under normal circumstances, he would run for the hills and scream for his life, but whatever they were going to get caught up in was big enough that even Shikamaru was on the edge. Under this situation, the best he could do is control how much Ino knew and hope things don't get out of hand. "Ino…" He said calmly, causing the girl to look at him curiously. "… Shika is scared…"

Ino paused. "That's it? I thought he had a crush on that Sand chick. I mean, he was hitting on her a lot while we were waiting in the tower and everything…"

"That's not what I meant, Ino…" Chōji interrupted. "Something about the Exams has Shika spooked. You can tell that something else is going on when you see him training or talk to him. He's actually taking his training seriously now. I mean, usually we train at our own pace, complain about it, do a little bit more, then spend the rest of the day sleeping on a hill. Now he's spending almost every waking moment training… it's starting to scare me as well…"

Ino remained silent as Chōji explained what was happening to his best friend, and to be perfectly honest, the girl was starting to get unnerved as well. Shikamaru was notorious for being lazy. Even when training with Gai, he would at most try to last long enough to get through the full workout then stop as soon as the timer went off. It was also common knowledge in the team that almost nothing fazed the boy at all. Even during their few C-ranked missions or when they were doing some of Ghost's obscure training sessions, the boy was infamous for keeping his cool regardless of the situation.

If something had the boy unnerved, then the information she was being notified of skipped gossip level instantly and fell into the category of life or death. So far, the only things that fallen under that rank of scrutiny were her clan's techniques and secrets, village secrets, her poison recopies, Anko-sensei's past which she mumbled out in her sleep one night when she was drunk, and Ghost-sensei's eyes. All of these were things that she didn't dare try to gossip about in front of the wrong people.

Ino frowned as her previous energy disappeared in the wake of a serious kunoichi. "What else can you tell me about it, Chōji? Anything that has Shika nervous can't be good. Do the sensei know about whatever it is?"

Chōji let out a mental air of relief as he saw Ino get serious. It happened as rarely as Shikamaru getting nervous, but it was also a sign of bad things about to happen. There was no way that Ino would be loose-lipped about what he would tell her now. "I think that all of them know already… Shika would have told them already if they didn't. As for what I know… it isn't much. All I know for a fact is that something bad is probably gonna happen during the Exams… and…"

Ino narrowed her eyes. "And?"

Chōji sighed. "I don't know, but when I told Shika that I was gonna be training under Kurenai-sensei to work on my genjutsu dispelling, he told me to work especially hard on it, just in case. I didn't pay much attention to it back then, but I think he was thinking of something other than my match when he said it…"

"Which is why you were so worried about me and my training with Kurenai-sensei…" Ino mused thoughtfully. "You don't want me to get hit with whatever Shika is concerned with…"

"I think he's known about it for a while…" Chōji added in nervously, worried that he might be talking too much. "I remember him telling me to train hard after we first became a team and not to tell you since well, you're not exactly known for being quiet, Ino…"

Ino's eyebrow's twitched at that statement, but she would brush it aside for the moment. "My social life aside, what do you think we should do about this? If it were up to me, I would be telling every shinobi chūnin rank and above about this…"

Chōji shook his head. "No. I think the best thing to do is to not do anything except train." He paused as he looked at Ino's face. "Whatever it is, it has Shikamaru nervous. If it has Shika nervous, he must have gone over everything thousands of times to think of what to do by now. You know how smart he is. Shika wouldn't take this information lying down."

Ino grit her teeth in irritation. Chōji was right. Shikamaru was lazy, but he never overlooked anything important, and he never left it alone. She knew that if anyone could pick out the correct path to take to make sure that whatever the hell happens doesn't get out of control, it was Shikamaru. She hated to admit it, but if he told Chōji to keep quiet about it, then her flapping her mouth would probably get them all killed when the clock hit zero. "Damn…" She growled in frustration. "I guess the best thing to do is train and be prepared for everything…" She paused for a moment. "If worst comes to worst, though…"

Chōji shifted in his feet as he saw something dangerous flash in the girl's eyes. "Ino? What did you think of?" He asked nervously.

The girl turned to Chōji and flashed him a grin that one would expect on Anko Mitarashi. "Oh, nothing, Chōji. I was just thinking of some experiments back at the flower shop that Sensei told me not to bring to the Exams for some ODD reason…"

The Akimichi gulped as he followed the grinning Yamanaka. He was really starting to relate to Shikamaru at that moment. Blonde women were troublesome…

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in that giant hole in the ground:

Kiba flopped onto his back, panting desperately alongside an equally beat Akamaru. "I can't move anymore, sis…" The boy gasped out painfully.

Hana sighed as she walked up to her brother. Despite her demeanor, she was rather impressed with her brother's progress. If the exams had taken place just a month later, she was sure that Kiba would have won against that Dosu guy… as long as he wasn't being stupid, of course. She doubted anyone else in the clan had ever learned the standard wolf techniques so quickly, although in hindsight it was probably all the conditioning involving forcing her brother to stay in beast mode for as long as possible that was part of the success. "Fine, you can take a break, pup. You've been at it all day anyways."

Akamaru whined in thanks as his tongue flopped out of the side of his mouth panting.

"You said it." Kiba agreed.

"I'm still here, you know." Hana growled playfully. Personally, she couldn't really blame her brother and Akamaru. She had pretty much run the two into the ground, evident by the huge number of craters and holes surrounding the group… and the strong scent of urine that even non Inuzuka would be able to smell clearly. To be honest, the girl was probably going to give the pair the rest of the day off, if only for the reason that she needed to make sure that she didn't accidently do some damage to the puppy's kidneys. It was a little known fact that other than torn muscle tissue and the occasional identity crisis, the most prominent injuries that happen to Inuzuka hounds during training were to their kidneys and other… urine related organs… due to the fact that the user has to frequently practice 'targeting' in order to use the wolf techniques efficiently. This issue never happened to her because she had three partners to work with, so they could take turns. For those with only one partner, though… well, the odds are more likely that breeding will become more difficult in the future.

"Hey, sis?" Kiba breathed out tiredly as he somehow managed to sit himself up.

"Yeah, runt? What's up?" Hana replied.

"Well, I was curious. Mom's been all giddy about your new techniques and everything, the elemental versions of our clan techniques. I know that your new versions of Gatsūga are supposed to be B-ranked techniques, but mom said something about you finishing your elemental versions of the wolf techniques as well and…"

"And you were curious as to how monstrous they really are?" Hana finished her brother's question with a raised eyebrow. "Let me guess, you really want to know so that you have a good idea how strong you have to be before you can finally make me beg for mercy when we beat the living crap out of each other, right?"

"… yeah…" Kiba breathed out defeated.

"Wow, you really must be tired if you can't even deny anything." Hana chuckled before calming down again. "… fine, since I might have gone overboard on you this time, I'll show you one of them… just make sure to kiss my feet later. That means you too, Akamaru."

Akamaru grumbled in reality and in dog speak, causing both Inuzuka to chuckle.

Hana whistled, calling one of her triplets to her from a few dozen yards away where they were resting in the shade. "The pups wanna see one of our bigger techniques. Let's make them jealous, okay?" Hana whispered to the hound that came over, getting a nod and what looked like a smirk in response.

Kiba looked as carefully as he could as his sister and one of her triplets got into position and raised their chakra to incredible levels, channeling their respective elements at the same time, Hana with her wind, and the triplet with her lightning. "Hidden Art: Kyūten no Ryōken (Hound of the Heavens)." Hana growled as the pair was engulfed in a large plume of smoke. Kiba blinked a few times in anticipation before the smoke quickly blew away to reveal Hana's new form. Kiba was for once speechless.

The massive two headed wolf in front of him was pure white with soft green and sharp yellow tribal designs traveling down its spine. Its tail was unnaturally thin and long compared to normal wolf technique transformations, and the fur of the beast was incredibly thick and smooth, flowing like water, yet free like the wind, but at the same time stiff and sharp enough to cut the skin if you brushed your hands against it. The two wolf style heads on the main body were respectively colored only one of the decals as the pair glared down at the unnerved boy with the cold eyes of a… two predators, each pair glowing in the colors of its respective elements. (A/N: Seriously, multi headed beings are parts of a grammar Nazi's worst nightmare. Thank god I is not one.)

The stare off didn't last long though as the two headed beast turned its attention to a large outcropping of boulders that had evaded Kiba's training at this point. "Tenga… (Heaven Fang)" Growled the beast as it shot off faster than anything Kiba had seen before and spun instantly, surrounded by lightning and a ferocious gale, towards the unfortunate stones. Kiba gaped as his sister tore through to the other side of the field faster than he could follow, leaving a perfect circular trail behind her with sparks of electricity going off and small sparkles in the air where she once was. Anywhere there were stones in her path was now a circular and smoothly cut hole, far different from the rough and chaotic mess that remained from his attacks.

Before he could muse over the attack some more, Hana barreled back towards him, giving him a front view of the attack. The drill that Hana was making was encompassed in a giant whirlwind that looked like it was shredding anything that got near the body to infinite bits, and the electricity surrounding her body seemed to increase the attack's piercing ability, and burn up anything that was shredded by the wind element of her technique, thus the sparks and sparkles.

"Wh-whoa…" Kiba gaped quietly as Hana and her triplet stopped in front of him, giving off a regal appearance with the lightning and glitter effect behind them. Hound of the Heavens was definitely a well-chosen name for the technique. Before he knew it though, the pair had returned to their normal forms.

"And that's why you will not win an argument against me for the rest of your life." Hana said sagely with a feral grin on her face.

Kiba continued to air out his mouth. "Does mom know you finished them?"

"Of course not. She knows I've been WORKING on it, but as of yet, I still can't get the damn thing down…" She sighed aridly, getting an odd look from her brother. "Once I do finally get this and my other two combination attacks down, mom will start hounding me to up my responsibilities to the clan and start teaching EVERYONE these techniques, then she'll probably start taking me to clan meetings again, and do her paperwork…"

"Ah…" Kiba replied, knowing how much being the clan head bugged his eccentric mother. "… wait, three techniques? There's you and the lightning triplet, you and the fire triplets, and…" He started to pale as Hana grinned.

"Then there's the one that is so dangerous and powerful that even Ghost-kun is scared of being on the wrong end of it…"

o. o. o.

Iwagakure:

"I heard it's nice in Konoha this time of year." Mused a red headed old man as he walked alongside a carriage that held Ōnoki. "It will be nice to see Sarutobi again. Hopefully that… enlightened student of his is in town when we get there. I have some books that I want him to sign."

"Likewise, Rōshi." Chuckled Ōnoki as he stretched his limbs. "But I highly doubt it. Jiraiya is notorious for constantly being on the move. I heard that he hasn't been seen setting foot in Konoha since the Kyūbi attacked."

"What a shame." Grumbled Rōshi. "The quality of his work has increased so much lately. I wanted to give the lad a pat on the back for his good work." He eyed his old friend. "You know, I was a bit surprised when you managed to get that letter to me. It's not every day someone sends me a message, let alone someone whose last words to me involved something about my head on a pike… and then sending two jōnin to make it so…"

Ōnoki waved his hand in a lazy manner. "Bah. You know I was joking. I would have been angrier at you if those two rookies actually did manage to kill you back then. You know as well as I do that the war was getting to everyone at the time, and I wasn't exactly a youngster then, let alone now. I needed someone to take down Namikaze, and you were practically the only person in Iwa that was capable of doing so other than me, and going myself was out of the question. I was about to ask you to go when you turned in your resignation form, actually, and the rest is history… and two cremated jōnin. Did you honestly have to go that far?"

Rōshi shrugged. "They were more scared of you at the time than me, and would probably rather die than suffer your wrath considering the fit you were having then. Honestly, I couldn't blame them…" The man looked around before leaning closer to the diminutive man and started to whisper. "Speaking of Namikaze, though…"

Ōnoki closed his eyes and sighed. "There's no definitive proof yet. Normally I would brush this rumor under the rug like all the other ones, but… I have a feeling about this one…"

Rōshi raised an eyebrow, raising his senses to make sure that their private conversation wasn't being overheard. "… a feeling?"

Ōnoki nodded. "The brat is 12 years old… more specifically, born on the day HE died…" The Tsuchikage slipped Rōshi a picture of the blonde haired boy.

Rōshi took the photo and looked at it for a few seconds before frowning. "I see." He stated, not willing to say any more before giving Ōnoki the photo back. "… It would make sense… but what will you do about it?"

Ōnoki sighed. Despite his tough nature, he hated to think of killing kids, even if they were shinobi and were supposed to be prepared for that kind of life. It just wasn't right. "We're just doing reconnaissance right now." Ōnoki replied. "Pay attention to him, see how dangerous he is, how well he is… adapting to his condition. You know more about these kinds of things than I do. Plus, it helps that kids actually like you for some reason, while in my case…"

"I said it once, I'll say it constantly 'til you die, it's because you have a shitty sense of humor, Ōnoki." Rōshi sighed.

Ōnoki's eyebrows twitched. "… anyway, just keep an eye on the brat. And Kurotsuchi too while you're at it…"

"You don't trust her?" Rōshi asked.

"Not with this, no. There are… connections between her and the blondes. Kurotsuchi has a personal vendetta against anything even remotely close to Namikaze. I wouldn't bet against her doing something foolish while we're there. It's your job to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid while I'm busy talking to nobles for hours on end."

"I'm having trouble deciding who got the worse end of the stick here…" Rōshi mused thoughtfully.

"Regardless, I'll make sure that we get proper smashed with Hiruzen while we're there. Apparently Konoha's import of good drinks has been on the rise ever since they got rid of Gatō and established a strong trading deal with Wave, so there won't be any shortage of ale while we're there." Ōnoki grinned. "Take a wild guess who was on that mission…"

"You're joking." Rōshi replied with a raised eyebrow. "The brat? How do you know? It's not like successful large missions are displayed for everyone to see and boast about…"

Ōnoki sighed as he took out a bottle of beer and opened it. "In their home country, no, but in Wave the kid is practically a celebrity according to my spies. I initially paid no mind to the rumors before, but when the brat finally got my attention, I remembered his name showing up all over the place in the Wave reports. His team was tasked with protecting some bridge builder from some thugs. Ends up being that said builder was working on a bridge to connect Wave to the mainland because Gatō was controlling all the trade in and out of the country via sea trade routes. The old man needed protection, but classified his guards at a C-rank price because Wave was so poor. Then comes the brat's team…"

"I see…" Rōshi mused. Misclassified missions weren't unheard of, but something told him that the story was going to be more interesting than he originally thought. "So how screwed were the kids?"

Ōnoki shook his head. "First, you have to remember that Copy-nin Kakashi is the sensei, so they weren't as helpless as you would expect. As for what they were up against…" Ōnoki took out a scroll that reported what happened according to a semi-drunk Tazuna several weeks after Wave got back on its feet. "First, apparently the team was ambushed by two missing-nin from Kiri on their way there, a pair known as the Demon Twins, C-ranked chūnin nobodies. According to the bridge builder, the pair was taken down incredibly easily by the genin. Kakashi had nothing to do with the fighting at all aside from faking his death in the initial ambush."

"That sounds like Kakashi, if the rumors about him are correct." Rōshi mused, taking the beer from Ōnoki and taking a swig. "So what happened next… wait, Kiri-nin? Didn't that Seven Swordsman guy…uh, Zabuza join Konoha recently? The one that tried to off that brat Yagura a few years back? I heard that before he joined the Leaf, he was running around with a fake hunter-nin and a set of twins from Kiri who went rogue."

Ōnoki smirked. "Funny you should say that. It turns out that Zabuza was the next one to fight the group. According to the drunk, Zabuza was on the ropes the entire time, and not because of Kakashi. Apparently the brat knew some kind of special wind technique I've never heard of. He could see where everything was and control the air around him, so even when they were stuck in the middle of the thick mist, he knew where the guy was. Two seconds later, the man is fighting back Kakashi with his cover and his mist blown away. Kakashi gets trapped in a Water Prison Technique by Zabuza a bit later, but the kid breaks him out with a ton of clones while his teammates protect the old man and take out the water clones that Zabuza made. From his description, we're guessing the brat made shadow clones."

"It's understandable, if what we are guessing is true…" Rōshi nodded taking another swig of the beer and handing it to the Tsuchikage. "It sounds as if the genin team he's on is pretty skilled from the way the story's going."

Ōnoki nodded as he drank some booze from the bottle. "They are. All of them are in the finals of the Exams. One of them is that Uchiha kid that got left behind when Itachi went AWOL, and the other is surprisingly a girl from some civilian family that's on the council. Apparently, she is quite the illusionist and healer."

"Not bad… but back to the story…" Rōshi mused.

"Right." Ōnoki grunted as he looked at the report scroll again. "So apparently the fake hunter-nin bailed Zabuza out at the last second after Kakashi got released and thus beat the living daylights out of Zabuza, then faked being a real hunter-nin and took the body away. From how he described it, it looked like he sent Zabuza into a false death state with some senbon. Not bad, if I do say so myself, though I'm ashamed that a jōnin of Kakashi's caliber would miss something like that so easily. The group apparently realized this too a few minutes later, but didn't go after the pair due to Kakashi overusing his eye."

"I heard that transplanted bloodlines pose a greater strain on the user than if they were in the original's body. I guess it's true, then." Rōshi shrugged.

Ōnoki nodded. "Let's see here. They talk about Zabuza coming back, brats train in water walking for a week… two of them start blowing themselves up for a few days…" The man grumbled as he rushed through the story. "Huh. According to the old man the reason why the brat is so well liked is because he managed to snap his grandson out of his depression that started when Gatō murdered his dad in front of the village. Anyways, they train some more, blonde shows he has healing powers, no doubt because of… that. It might be something to remember later. Ah, here we go. A week later, the group go back to the bridge to find that Zabuza scared all the workers away and he's with his student, the fake hunter-nin. The Uchiha takes on the fake hunter and Kakashi takes on Zabuza. Uchiha unlocks his bloodline and scrapes out a lucky win after he's trapped in…" He looks closely at what was written. "… a giant frozen igloo made of mirrors?"

Rōshi groaned as he thought about the shinobi that were elementally his polar opposites. "Ugh. I know what he's talking about. The fake-nin has the Hyōton bloodline. Ice users. Brr. I can't STAND fighting those guys. I thought that they were wiped out in the last bloodline purging in Kiri."

"Apparently not." Ōnoki answered. "Thanks for filling in some of the gaps for me, though. So the Uchiha manages to capture the Hyōton user, but was, and I quote, 'Skewered with so many needles that he looked like a piece of modern art'." The two old men chuckled at the analogy. "Moving on. Gatō shows up soon afterwards with several hundred mercenaries and intends to betray Zabuza, but then the blonde and the Uchiha step up and use a fire wind collaboration technique that created a huge flaming twister that killed off all the mercenaries. He claims they called it Firestorm. Not bad for a couple of genin. I'd like to see that technique for myself, to be honest. Gatō gets rescued by three special jōnin from Kusa, who he hired to protect him from assassins, no doubt in response to those rumors of that assassin killing slavers all over the place. Huh… get this, one of those three ninja is that massive runt Kuma from the Third War."

Rōshi raised an eyebrow. "Sleeper Kuma? That kid that made a name for himself taking out those assassins we sent to off those Kusa government officials? Often seen with Kakashi and Namikaze during the war? Damn. The brat was as big as me the last time I saw him, and he was only what, 14, 15 at the time? I hate to see how big he is now…"

"That goes double for me…" Ōnoki growled, remembering that he was not exactly well endowed in the vertical department. Anything that reminded him that he was short was often dealt with via… excessive means. "The Uchiha passes out due to exhaustion and the girl on the team is tasked with healing him, keeping an eye on the Hyōton user, and guarding the bridge builder. Kakashi, the blonde, and Zabuza on the other hand decide to get at Gatō and both sides go at it. Kakashi vs. Kuma, Zabuza vs. some sword user that Tazuna can't remember the name of, and the blonde vs. some blue haired kunoichi with nice breasts that apparently used poison attacks. Apparently the fights weren't even a contest and the Kusa-nin all got beaten badly. Even the brat completely shot down the woman."

"The kid took down a special jōnin by himself? Not bad." Whistled Rōshi. "What happens after that?"

Ōnoki shook his head. "Unfortunately the bridge builder's recollection of what happens next is too hazy to decipher. He must have been really drunk when interviewed or under a genjutsu when the rest happened, because he tried to remain quiet afterwards. When we did manage to get him to talk, he went on about some giant tiki head named toot-toot or something showing up on the bridge before falling off the edge." Both old men sweat dropped.

"That sounds like a memory scrambling genjutsu to me." Rōshi said out loud.

"That's what everyone else thinks, too." Ōnoki agreed. "The rest is how you would guess. Gatō died somehow. The bridge is completed. Wave parties like never before, and Zabuza and the fake hunter, who is apparently his adopted daughter and apprentice Haku, travel with the Konoha-nin and join their ranks. Funny side note, though. It seems that after the group left, the people from Wave named the bridge after the kid."

Rōshi snorted. "Damn. I wonder if the kid knows how lucky he is to have his name engraved on something other than his eventual grave. Anyways, what else do you have on him?"

Ōnoki sighed as he took out the blonde's public profile and the data his spies have given him. "Nothing much. He acts like any other brat his age should, just a bit more energetic. He loves training, ramen and his friends. Hates the time it takes to cook ramen, perverts, and ignorant jerks. Apparently he's a chronic prankster… he made his own pranking technique…?" Ōnoki paused as he took out a picture of said technique, only to have blood gushing from his nose moments later and pass out hanging out of his carriage.

"Ōnoki!" Rōshi yelled out, getting the attention of everyone in the caravan and causing everyone to stop. Rōshi grabbed his friend and examined him carefully, almost to face fault immediately afterwards when he saw a perverted grin and blush on the man's face. Knowing full well what could happen, the jinchūriki took the picture that was still in Ōnoki's hand and looked at it.

The last thing Rōshi saw before he passed out was the picture of a beautiful whiskered pigtailed blonde bombshell completely naked and posing for the camera.

On that day, Naruto inadvertently and unknowingly claimed his third victory over a Kage, the first two being Gaara and Sarutobi.

o. o. o.

In a hotel room in Konoha:

Gaara blinked as Baki explained the plans for the invasion. ' _Why do I feel as if I should be patting someone sympathetically on the back right now?'_

"It is all Kazekage-sama's will…" Baki stated in front of his charges, all of whom were unsettled in their own way… well, Baki believed he could tell that Gaara was unsettled, at least. "Suna will join Oto and invade Konoha. This is an upper A-class, potentially S-class mission. Understand the importance…"

Temari was taking the news worst out of the three, despite her seniority, and was gritting her teeth. "But why a war now!? It took so much time and sacrifice to create the alliance agreement! If we break it now, the death toll will be enormous!"

Baki sighed. "Temari, we are shinobi. In the end, shinobi are nothing but tools of war. The alliance itself was an object that threatened our existence. You genin don't know about it that well, but the wind country's foolish Daimyō used the alliance as a reason to forcibly weaken the military strength of Suna. Because of the alliance agreement, the Daimyō, putting his entire faith in Konoha, sent our clients to them and began to drastically cut back our funding… all because it was cheaper." Baki grew depressed. "When the head is stupid, we the hands and legs suffer. For our village to keep up, we had to raise the ability of each individual shinobi." He looked at Gaara. "It's why shinobi like you were created, Gaara." Gaara said nothing. Baki continued. "Right now, the existence of the Land of Wind itself is in danger. Kazekage-sama, fearing the weakening of Suna, has decided to join forces with Oto and teach our foolish Daimyō the danger the country is in. To do that, we will measure our strength by taking down Konoha. If any more time passes, Suna will lose all ability to fight Konoha." He turned to Gaara. "We're counting on your work, Gaara…"

Gaara didn't say anything.

Several hours later, Gaara was sitting on the roof of the hotel, looking at the moon silently. "… are you concerned with something, Temari?"

Said blonde moved out of the shadows and approached her brother. For some reason, Gaara seemed older than she was these days. "… I… want to know what you think about this…" Temari hesitated. "You… seem to know more than we give you credit for these days…"

Gaara closed his eyes for a moment. "You are scared…" He mused, catching his sister off guard. "… and concerned for those that live here as well as for those from Suna…" He turned to his sister, who was shocked at his observation. "… it's not hard to figure out. You have been on edge ever since Baki told us of the entire plan."

Temari blinked before sighing and approaching Gaara slowly, somehow being more comfortable now than she was seconds before. "Hehe. I'm that easy to read, huh?"

"Yes." Gaara replied bluntly, causing the girl to twitch her eyebrow irritably before taking a deep breath to calm her nerves.

"I guess so. I mean, it's war that we're talking about. I know we've all killed before, but never on this scale. Baki-sensei told us that in the end, we're tools, but…"

"We aren't tools… don't ever think that you are one." Gaara interrupted, much to his sister's surprise. "We always have a choice in the matter, despite what our jobs entail. After all, we are human before we become shinobi…"

"G-Gaara?" Temari stammered, never hearing her brother speak like that before.

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "It's too convenient…" He mused.

"Wh-what?" Temari asked in a daze.

"The invasion…" The redhead explained. "Suna has been steadily decaying for several years and has been looking for a way out of its slump, but when all hope seems lost, a new village appears out of nowhere and offers us a way out. It's too convenient… and stupid at the same time. Should we go through with the plan, we risk setting off another great shinobi war. In our condition, even if the invasion is a success, we would not be able to hold off any of the other shinobi nations should they decide to invade Suna in the aftermath. This entire plan is a mistake…"

Temari stared at Gaara with wide eyes. Everything Gaara had said had made perfect sense now that she thought about it. Even with a best case scenario, Suna would still be sufficiently weakened for an extended period of time. If their goals were to strengthen Suna, and if its current condition was as bad as Baki said, then going to war in their current condition was one of the worst possible choices to make, period. Especially if the one they were going to war against was their village's largest supporter and ally. At this point, Temari was drawing a blank. So much had been exposed to her in the past few hours that she could not handle any form of intense thinking.

"Temari…" Gaara said as he continued to gaze at the moon, snapping his sister out of her delirium. "Sit…"

Before she even realized it, Temari was on the roof, willingly sitting closer to Gaara than she had ever done so before. "What… happened to you?" Temari asked curiously. "You're never this…"

"Peaceful?" Gaara finished in a monotone voice. "I… have changed since coming here… You could say I have become more aware of the world… how things should be…"

"O…kay…" Temari said slowly, not understanding her youngest brother at all.

Gaara was quiet for a few more minutes as he contemplated something deeply. "… Father should not have been made Kazekage…" He said dryly.

"Wh-what?" Temari stammered out in a surprised tone.

"He does not have the necessary qualities to become one." Gaara continued. "He was put into office during the Third War because the Third went missing and we stretched our forces thin searching for him. Father was put into office near the end due to his prowess in battle and his skills as a tactician, but outside of war, he has little to offer Suna. If I remember correctly now, I believe I walked past his office while the Daimyō was visiting and heard them arguing over the financial support and deals regarding Suna several years ago. I do not remember everything, but I do recall the Daimyō claiming that father's proposals were completely ludicrous, and called him a fool for believing that he would agree to such a proposition. He demanded that father make a more reasonable agreement soon between Suna and the government. Otherwise, he would start cutting our funds and outsourcing our missions to Konoha." Gaara paused. "… I believe it was around the time that father stopped using his advisors, claiming that they impeded his work." Temari's eyes widened even further.

To be honest, Gaara was not lying, nor was he telling the truth. He did in fact remember occasionally walking past his father's office and hearing him argue with the Daimyō when he was younger, but that was as far as he got concerning his distorted childhood memories. The Fourth was never one to use seals of any kind, so overhearing his conversations was not terribly difficult. He DID, however, come across his father's notes when he took office. Apparently, his 'parent' desired an incredibly large raise when it came to jobs coming from the Land of Wind's government, while still paying the shinobi performing them the same wages. Obviously, the Daimyō refused and countered with his own alternative, which landed Suna where it was today.

Somehow, the Kazekage had managed to twist the truth in order to gain more support. Judging from his predecessor's private notes, it was clear that the man was trying to arm Suna to the teeth before starting his campaign on some of the nearby countries. With his initial plan failing and Suna crumbling, the Fourth Kazekage became desperate as more questions begun to be asked about the financial situation… that was when Orochimaru appeared. His father was indeed a talented individual when it came to managing soldiers and organizing battle, but that was where the line was drawn for the man.

"Wh-what should we do then…?" Temari asked, scared out of her mind. "There's no way anyone would believe us, and even if they did, we would be executed for treason…"

"We will do nothing…" Gaara mused. "The wheels have already begun to turn. The best thing to do is wait and see what happens…"

"But…" Temari countered.

"Temari…" Gaara interrupted. "The best thing we can do for everyone… is to wait and see what happens."

Temari's breathing slowed as she realized that Gaara knew something she didn't.

Gaara noted his sister's distress before sighing and getting up. "… I heard that the Konoha genin are coming back from their training three days before the exam starts…" He droned before walking to the edge of the roof, seemingly ignoring Temari's reaction. "… I believe that it would be something you would be interested in knowing…"

o. o. o.

The next day, at a nearby park:

The two words that best described Hanabi Hyūga that day were confused and frustrated, and in no small amounts either.

The previous week, after her family started to become more confusing than it already was, Waltz had introduced the girl to the grandson of the Third Hokage, Konohamaru Sarutobi, and his two friends Moegi and Udon. To say that their behavior was immature was like saying her father was only mildly intimidating. The three yelled all the time and argued with each other constantly, only to forget what they were talking about a few minutes later and start talking about something else, only to repeat the process.

She was also frustrated every time they decided to play ninja. It was ridiculous! The only one of the three that had any idea of what a shinobi should be doing was Konohamaru, and even then he was nowhere close to her level! She had expressed her opinion on the game more than once, but the three replied simply that they knew that, they were just making the best of what they knew already to prepare themselves for later on and have some fun in the meantime.

That being said, it should be noted that whenever teams were formed, there were often fights to see which side got Hanabi seeing as her team almost always won. The only times she lost was when she was up against everyone else, or when she was against Konohamaru. For some reason, the boy would come up with the oddest and most random plans she had ever seen... unfortunately, many of them involved one or more of the three using the Transformation Technique to turn into well-endowed women in an attempt to trick or surprise the girl. The only real thing that surprised her was that all three of them could use the technique so efficiently. Even she had trouble transforming into people that didn't look misshapen or deformed in some way. Most of the plans more often than not backfired, though, but even she would admit that a good number of them would have worked had Konohamaru and whoever he was working with at the time kept quiet and not done something stupid in the process. Oddly enough, they were quickly getting better, and they all listened to her carefully whenever she lectured to them about whatever stupid mistake they had done at the time. Still, even though she pretended it was annoying, she felt somewhat good whenever the three argued about who had her on their team. All three of them openly admitted that Hanabi knew more about being a ninja then they did and was clearly better than them at it, too… though Konohamaru made a habit to not use those exact words when he said it…

Then there was Konohamaru's instructor Ebisu. Honestly, the man just annoyed her. He constantly acted as if he knew everything, and when they (mostly her and Konohamaru) point out something that made him wrong, he would simply brush it under the rug and pretend like it never happened. It was awfully similar to the way some of her clan members acted, and she was starting to see why people didn't think much of her clan when it came to personality.

"Hey Hanabi! Earth to Hanabi!" Konohamaru yelled as he waved his hand in front of the girl's face. "Are you even awake?"

"Hm?" Hanabi replied as she snapped out of her delirium. The four had been resting in the park after they had just played a rather hectic and wild game of play ninja where Konohamaru strayed from his standard tactics and transformed into a stone instead of a potential porn star. Hanabi made it a habit to not use her Byakugan when she was playing so she wouldn't have an unfair advantage, so she was shocked when Konohamaru appeared out of nowhere from behind and ambushed her. "What? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"Just like earlier…" Giggled Moegi, who had made it a habit to make small jabs at Hanabi in order to get her used to it… and because she was a bit jealous of another girl hanging around Konohamaru.

"No, I was just really awesome today." Konohamaru smirked. "But I was asking you about who you think is going to win the Chūnin Exams. I for one know that Naruto-nii is going to win. No one can beat him if he tries hard enough… other than Ero-nii, but he's crazy and super strong, so he doesn't count."

Hanabi snorted. "I highly doubt that. My sister is going to win the tournament. She's a Hyūga and she beat Neji-nii-san, who is a genius, easily. There's no way she can lose."

Konohamaru smirked. "Like how there was no way that you could have lost today's game?" He savored Hanabi's frustrated glare before continuing. "Naruto-nii is Ero-nii's personal punching bag! There's no way he didn't survive all that training without learning at least a million cool tricks from the guy! I even spied on them once during their training!"

That had Hanabi's attention. It was well known what Ghost was capable of doing, but almost no one knew what the hell his - or any of the other Ōgakari clan member's, for that matter - fighting style was. Sure, there were speculation and guesses… and whatever Gai yelled when asked, but to be honest, no one takes him seriously unless he's on a mission or talking about Lee's future. "Oh? And how strong are they?"

Konohamaru grinned confidently. "Heheheh. Hanabi-chan, I would bet that those two could even beat grandpa. They moved so fast that I couldn't even follow their movements, and they slashed at each other with the coolest weapons I have ever seen! Even the ones at the shops or the ones Grandpa showed me in the hidden confiscated storage area looked weak compared to them! The only sword or kunai I've ever seen that compares to them is the Old Giant's sword!"

The Old Giant Konohamaru was talking about was Waltz Ōgakari. Not long after he had started coming to the park, the children started to take notice of him and his odd appearance. It wasn't long before they started to wonder what to call the kind old man, and soon afterwards the Old Giant became Waltz's latest nickname among the youth.

"Humph." Hanabi pouted, trying to maintain the higher ground in the conversation. "So what? Nee-san received special training from Ghost-san too, you know. He has even said that she is better than that blonde in taijutsu. There is nothing that is stronger than our clan's Jūken…"

"Forgive me if I am wrong, Hanabi-sama, but didn't the Ōgakari clan defeat an entire room of Jūken users without even raising a finger?" Ebisu asked as he walked towards the children. Ever since the man came in contact with Naruto and saw the change in Konohamaru's personality, he had been more lenient on the boy and often acted as a supervisor as he and his friends played in the park. The Hyūga clan was confident in his ability to protect their second heiress since he was already tasked with guarding the Hokage's grandson. The special jōnin had also in his spare time been brushing up on his physical conditioning due to his less than adequate ability to keep up with 4 children at once. "It is not always the strongest, the fastest, or the deadliest who win in a fight between shinobi. By nature, we are quiet, efficient, and tricky. All it would take is one good plan to assure victory."

Hanabi glared at the tutor, instinctively activating her dōjutsu in her anger. "Are you saying that you think that my sister is going to lose in her fights?"

Ebisu frowned. "Hyūga-sama, it is unbecoming for one such as you to activate your bloodline for such petty reasons." Hanabi faltered as her eyes deactivated instantly. It was extremely disrespectful and dishonorable for a Hyūga clan member to activate their eyes in public, especially if it was out of personal anger. This was one of the few Hyūga clan rules that was publicly known throughout the Elemental Nations, and as such was easily pointed out when a Hyūga did in fact break it. "… but to answer your question, no, I do not think your sister will win her fights, but I do not think she will lose them either. You can claim who has an advantage over who all you want, but the matches will decide the outcome regardless of what people think. That is why fights between shinobi are so interesting. Despite what you know about who is fighting, the winner isn't always who you would expect it to be."

"Yeah, yeah. Shinobi are unpredictable and all that stuff." Konohamaru brushed aside the man's lecture like pretty much every other speech he has ever given the boy. "More importantly, who do YOU think is going to win sensei?" The sudden question prompted all four children to stare at the unfortunate man intently.

Ebisu paused and started to sweat profusely. To be perfectly honest, Ebisu had put down a small sum of money on Naruto to win the entire thing earlier that day simply because he knew that the boy had become a true force to be reckoned with on the battlefield from what he had hear from Kakashi and the other teachers in that group. Plus, it didn't help that the boy could pull off elaborate pranks on all the clan compounds astonishingly easily, showing everyone his ability to plan accordingly to various situations. He had also put a small sum on Sasuke's name, too… just in case.

Obviously, he couldn't say that in front of Konohamaru and his friends. That would be irresponsible of him to do, and he was above that (… but apparently not above betting on potential fights to the death between teens and preteens). "Ah…" The man stalled as he desperately tried to think of what to say to get himself out of this mess without having one or more of the children trying to kill him or each other. "Who I think would win the Exams… doesn't matter." He said carefully, confusing the children. "That's because even if the one I am thinking of did happen to have the best chance of winning, that does not necessarily mean that he… or she would win. If the tournament was run ten more times with the same odds, the only bet I would confidently put my money on would be that the winner would be a different person winning the entire thing almost every time. If you cannot understand this, then you are not yet ready to be a ninja."

"What?!" Konohamaru roared angrily. "How dare you say that I'm not ready to be a ninja yet! Just you wait! I'll have you groveling under my strength and begging Konohamaru-sama for forgiveness before you know it!"

"You still didn't answer our question…" Growled Hanabi, who was well acquainted with tactics to divert conversation from her family. Ebisu started to sweat even more now.

Time for plan B.

"If I remember correctly, Naruto-san and Hinata-sama are fighting each other first in the Exams… why don't you simply wait and see who wins that match to find out the results?"

"Stop avoiding the question, you poor excuse for a…" Hanabi started to threaten when she was cut off by Konohamaru.

"Really!? That's awesome!" Konohamaru yelled before turning his attention to Hanabi again. "We don't even have to wait to see who's right! Besides, I changed my mind Ebisu-sensei. I don't want to know who you think is going to win. You're wrong most of the time when it comes to these things anyways. You probably chose someone stupid like Sasuke anyways, just like everyone else."

Ebisu gaped at Konohamaru while Hanabi just stared at him incredulously and Moegi and Udon giggled at their leader's statement. Once again, Konohamaru's short attention span had just saved everyone a massive headache by giving them a big one instead.

Ebisu somehow regained his composure first and cleared his throat. "Ahem, while I do not appreciate that comment, Konohamaru, there are other things to do today. I am afraid I must take all of you back to your families now due to events that we must attend later today."

"Awwww." Moaned Konohamaru's group. Hanabi only looked a little depressed at the news. Her family training prevented her from showing the full scope of her emotions that often, but she was preoccupied with what Ebisu had just told her.

Who **would** win between a fight between Naruto and her sister?

o. o. o.

In the training grounds again:

"Are you kidding me?!" Anko asked Shadow incredulously.

"Nope. Dead serious… Ghost can turn into a cat. It's probably the main reason why the Inuzuka dogs don't like him that much. It's probably because of that that he hasn't told you or Hana about it yet, either." Shadow giggled. "He got the power when Scab was in the middle of one of his mad scientist phases a long time ago. He owed Scab a couple hundred favors, so he ended up as a guinea pig for the experiments. Actually, he gave everyone else in the family aside from me an animal form after Ghost finally started to survive the conversions consistently. Scab can turn into a wolf, Waltz can turn into a hawk, and Crypt… well, originally he could turn into a crow, but sometime afterwards it was changed to a chicken…"

Anko blinked. "… is that why you're not allowed to say De… umph!"

Shadow was on top of Anko's shoulders with both arms over her mouth. "We speak not of the DCD when Crypt could be nearby. It is too dangerous…" She hissed with wide eyes.

"Duly noted…" Spat out Anko as she removed Shadow from her face. "… so back to Ghost turning into a cat…" She mused, slowly developing an evil grin.

"Wait, hold on…" Shadow ordered gleefully as she took out a pad and pen. "Okay, now go…"

Anko paused as she looked at Shadow before taking out a notebook and a pen herself slowly. "… you have a 'horrible things to do to Ghost' notebook too?"

Shadow looked at Anko with stars in her eyes. "Where have you been all my life?"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere:

Ghost paused as he walked on top of the small lake. "I feel a disturbance. It's as if an infinite number of people are laughing and pitying me to the best of their abilities at once… and that many more are screaming at me to run very… VERY far away. As time passes the voices become louder and louder and more urgent… and apparently more vulgar as well… HEY I HEARD THAT YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Ummm Ghost-san? Are you all right?" Haku asked as she paused in the middle of her seals.

"Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine Haku. I'm just sensing my imminent doom… most likely because Shadow and Anko probably just found out that they both are capable of making a sport out of torturing and/or maiming me." Ghost shrugged as he walked to the middle of the lake near where she was.

"… right…" Haku sighed as she finished the sequence of seals, causing a dome of ice mirrors to surround Ghost. "I must thank you again for aiding me in my training to perfect my ice mirror technique. Zabuza-sama is not fast enough to deal with it, yet we are both aware that I am still not as good with it as I should be…" Haku stepped into one of the mirrors, causing her reflection to be shown on all of them moments later.

Ghost shrugged. "No problem, Haku. To be honest, I've been getting a bit rusty myself when it comes to dodging large amounts of small attacks from all sides. Besides, your progress is nothing to scoff at. I have to be at 50% in order to follow all your attacks in here these days, and that is not an easy thing to do…." He relaxed his body as Haku readied herself. "Speaking of your speed, though, have you ever thought of trying to create a longer lasting mirror? One that stays behind after you leave?" The man swiftly started to move as if in a dance as Haku's senbon hailed from all directions, dodging them all seemingly effortlessly.

"The thought has crossed my mind before, but I discarded the idea due to the fact that they would prove to be inefficient when in battle, as my normal mirrors consume less chakra and do the job done just fine…"

Ghost shook his head as he cartwheeled in a random direction to dodge another flurry of needles. "I'm not talking about fighting purposes. I'm talking about fast traveling purposes, like if you need a quick escape or something. Make a hidden mirror as a permanent fixture… kinda like how earth user's techniques are there after the jutsu has ended. Then if you get into a bind, you make a mirror near you and instantly pop up 20 km away. It's not like these things are easy to break, after all… now that I think of it, though, can you take other people with you in your mirrors?"

Haku shook her head before throwing some more needles. "Unfortunately, no. I have attempted many times before we crossed paths in Wave with the occasional bandit that was foolish enough to try to mug Zabuza-sama and me. To keep things short, I believe that only those with the Hyōton bloodline are able to travel between mirrors. As for your proposition for a modified mirror… I believe it does have some merit now… I don't believe it will take me that long to complete, now that I think about it seriously…"

"It shouldn't be that hard, since you managed to create that other technique in two months. What was it called again?" Ghost asked as he flipped and wove himself in midair dodging more needles within a hair's breadth of his body. "Hyōton: Hoppōryūno Biyoku (Ice style: Tail of the Northern Dragon), right?"

Haku nodded before putting on a smile that unnerved the man before doing some one handed seals and sticking her other arm out to her side. Said arm was slowly accumulating ice along its entire length. "Yes, you are correct, Ghost-san. In fact, just recently I have even managed to perform it while maintaining my ice mirrors…" Ghost paled dramatically as the final product was pointed directly at him from every mirror, and slowly emerged from each membrane.

"… this is revenge for when I replaced Zabuza's wrappings with toilet paper in public and all those times I made jokes about your sexuality, isn't it?" He whimpered. Looking down to his dismay, he discovered that Haku had managed to freeze the lake's surface while he wasn't paying attention, preventing him from escaping below. "… I suddenly remember why I hate fighting ice manipulators."

"Yes, however, I was also asked to by a fair number of your… students as well, when they heard about what I was planning…" Haku smiled innocently. "Besides, you are the best person to test this combination on anyways. If I can hit you with this technique, then I am able to hit anyone…"

Ghost wept as his shoulders slumped in defeat. "Then by all means, take my impending screams of mercy and pain as a sign of flattery and a job well done."

o. o. o.

In a private meeting room in the Hokage's tower:

"Thank you for meeting me here on such short notice." Scabbard bowed politely to the various people in front of him.

"I am curious as to what is so important that you have us all meet here so quickly." Shibi Aburame mused out loud while sitting in the back of the room and trying to calm down his insects due to Scabbard's presence.

"Whatever it is, I'm already not liking it." Grumbled Tsume.

"Hell, I'm just surprised that I'm actually here. I'm not exactly a large member of the village's political scene." Nervously commented Shiki Higurashi, Tenten's father.

"I believe that Ōgakari-san would not have gathered us here unless it was of the utmost concern." Hiashi mused sternly. "Their clan is a bit… rough around the edges, but they are not ones to do something like this unless they had a motive to do so."

Scabbard nodded as he looked around. The clan leaders of the Hyūga, Inuzuka, Aburame, Nara, Yamanaka, Akimichi, and Higurashi clans were situated in front of him. These clans would be a major factor in the fights to come. "… Thank you Hyūga-san." Scabbard bowed before straightening himself again. "The reason I have gathered you all here on such short notice is that we, and by that I mean my clan and Hokage-sama, believe it is time to inform you all of what is likely to occur during the Chūnin Exams in several weeks' time…" He paused as he looked at the reactions. Many were confused, some put on faces of concern, Shibi… well, even Scab has trouble trying to tell what's going on in the man's head at times, but none of the reactions were ones that he didn't expect. "… It seems as if you are aware of the current situation, Nara-san…" Scabbard mused, reading the facial expressions of the normally lazy man.

Shikaku raised an eyebrow while the other people in the room eyed him skeptically. "Shikamaru told you that I figured things out?"

Scabbard smiled lightly and shook his head. "No, I just knew better than to think you wouldn't figure it out by now, especially since Shikamaru was involved in the first place…"

Shikaku's eyebrow gave a halfhearted twitch as he glared into the Ōgakari's half opened lightning green eyes for several seconds. "… Tch… I really shouldn't be surprised by now…"

"What's going to happen during the exams?" Chōza asked curiously. "Does it have to do with Orochimaru?"

Scabbard nodded. "Yes. To be frank, during the Chūnin Exams, Orochimaru, who is the current leader of Otogakure, will invoke an invasion of Konoha, aided by forces from Suna."

"WHAT?!" Was the collective response from everyone in the room. They did not have to worry about spies, since Scab had sealed and checked the room beforehand.

Scabbard closed his eyes as he was bombarded with the obvious questions that would follow. "Before you get ahead of yourselves, please let me explain our current situation before we do anything." He said calmly as the voices died down.

"Explain my ass!" Tsume roared, in an almost too frantic way. Scabbard momentarily raised an eyebrow as he noted that the woman was more than likely hiding the fact that she knew most of what he had just said already. He would have to investigate this later. "We are being betrayed by our own ally, for fuck's sake! We should hit them first before…"

"Inuzuka-san… I said let me explain the current situation first…" Scabbard repeated dryly, causing some loud sparks of electricity to go off on his person to make sure his point was made clear. The woman stalled in mid-sentence before she sat back down again growling.

Scabbard sighed as he sat down in his chair and looked at each of the people in the room. "Because of the severity of the situation, several pieces of information will not be given to you in order to make sure that things go smoothly." He paused before continuing. "For now, I can tell you what the enemy is currently planning in order to give you a good idea of what is going to happen. During some point in the Chūnin Exams, Orochimaru will set off a signal to begin the invasion, and at the same time attempt to kill the Third. He will use four guards and a special sealing technique to prevent his fight from being interrupted. Do not worry about this, as my clan has already come up with a countermeasure for when this happens. I am informing you of this so that you are not distracted during the invasion." Scabbard frowned as he glared at his listeners to make them stayed quiet until the end of the summary.

"While this is happening, the enemy plans to place the entirety of the exam stadium's populace to sleep with a large scale genjutsu, and use Suna's jinchūriki, Gaara, who is in the finals, to unleash his bijū upon the village. This too has been planned for, and what the enemy does not know is that said jinchūriki is actually on our side. In fact, Orochimaru will betray Suna without them even knowing it before the invasion begins. We plan on informing them of this the morning of the third exam, pending on if we manage to obtain the right information from our other spy in Suna in time, and join forces against Oto. We have also sent hidden messages to Kusa and Taki to send some more forces under the guise of invitations for the Exams. It should be noted, however, that even if Suna joins us in the battle, we have received word that not only will the enemy be conjuring a boss-ranked snake summoning outside the village in order to take down the wall, but that it seems as if Orochimaru will be unleashing several of his… experiments upon the village as well."

Scabbard continued on to explain several more things about the invasion and about the experiments for several minutes as the people in front of him hardened their looks. "So this is what you were warning the elders about several weeks ago…" Hiashi mused.

"Why the HELL didn't you tell us about his earlier!?" Tsume growled. "We only have a couple of weeks to prepare for this correctly now!"

"It's because we have spies amongst us, Tsume." Shikaku replied. "Our precautions wouldn't mean jack shit if they knew that we know their current plan and decide to change it. Odds are, we're still are being watched by a good few right now…"

"But then what do we do?" Inoichi asked. "It's not like we can just tell our men what to do a couple of days before the invasion…"

"Actually, that exactly what I am planning on doing." Scabbard interrupted, getting odd looks from everyone in the room as he reached into one of his pockets and taking out a familiar device. "Do you remember these?"

Shibi nodded. "Yes, those are the radios that you have made for our shinobi, but I do not understand what you intend to do with them."

Scabbard put the device down. "Allow me to explain. Ever since Orochimaru appeared in the second exam, Hokage-sama has been organizing his ANBU to the best of his abilities around the village in order to obtain information. Unfortunately, due to the 'lack' of information, said troops have more or less been moving in random directions the entire time." He placed his hands around the radio set, and almost instantly the piece of equipment started to deconstruct itself in front of everyone's eyes. "You are also aware that I am very talented in the technological department. What you do not know is that I have outfitted all the radios to link together into one large channel that is linked to a main terminal inside a special room hidden inside this building, accessible only to me, my clan, and the Hokage. The radios also register who it is that they are linked to, their current health status, and where they are if they are in range of my signal. Please note that this information is labeled an S-ranked secret by the Hokage himself, allowing only himself and members of my clan to divulge this information. I have yet to use this function, as I have had no need or desire to do so; however, the case will be different when the invasion happens…"

"You plan to organize our shinobi and get live feedback from them at the same time…" Shikaku whispered. "That way, everyone will know what is happening near them and know where to go much faster than we originally could. That alone could turn the tides incredibly in our favor…"

Scabbard nodded. "I also have a… special map of Konoha set up in that room that will determine the danger levels of various portions of the village based on said feedback, also in real time." He turned to Shikaku. "Before the third exam, I will turn on this special function and point the various teams in the correct directions and manage the initial ambushes. The enemy will not expect our forces to change tactics so suddenly. No one is more surprised than those who were planning to surprise others in the first place. However, due to the fact that my clan will be targeted during the invasion for… disclosed reasons, I am placing Shikamaru in charge of managing the forces after a certain point. Hopefully before the actual invasion starts, as we have a good idea of which match it will start after, but there is a chance we could be wrong. I have already trained him how to use the equipment properly and have gone over multiple scenarios with him."

"Oi, isn't that a bit much?" Chōza asked in a concerned tone. "I mean, sure the kid is smart and all, but leaving our forces in the hands of a 12 year old is pushing it bit much…"

"I concur." Shibi buzzed. "It is too much responsibility to place on a chūnin hopeful…"

Shikaku remained quiet with his eyes closed for a few minutes before he opened them again. "… fine." He stated bluntly.

"What?" Shiki asked surprised. "Are you kidding me? We're talking about war here! There's no way your kid would be ready or be experienced enough to command where our forces go!"

"If these guys have already planned this far ahead for the invasion, then they must have good reason for picking Shikamaru, troublesome as it is. Plus, I have a feeling that my son is still hiding his true worth from everyone…"

"And then some, especially if he passes my sister's training." Scabbard finished for the man. "But we still have much to discuss, so if you have any more questions, ask them now."

Shiki hesitantly raised his large arm. "Yeah, um, what am I doing here? I mean, sure, my daughter is training with your kids, but I don't think it would be enough to warrant me being here…"

Scabbard shook his head. "On the contrary, Higurashi-san, you also play a large role in the upcoming battle. After all, who else will be able to sell an incredible volume of my and other clan wares to the shinobi populace other than my leading hardware sales partner?"

"Huh?" The man asked in a daze, much like everyone else in the room. Even the clan heads were not foolish enough to deny that the Scabbard's weapons were beyond exceptional in quality, durability, and practicality. However, only a couple of them figured out what Scabbard was talking about yet.

Scabbard smirked. "From now until three days before the exam, your store will be having a sale on all clan produced shinobi equipment. This includes weapons, armor and radios from my clan, sealed kunai and shuriken from your store, and medicinal equipment, soldier pills, and poisonous solutions from the Aburame, Yamanaka, Akimichi, and Nara clans. Say that there is a major discount for all Konoha shinobi of special jōnin rank and above in celebration of the upcoming exams. We can't start over producing our goods or give them out for free in case we start attracting attention from spies, but we can lure our shinobi into being better prepared under the guise of an amazing deal. You can use the fact that your daughter is in the Exams as an excuse for the lower prices as well if you want. If the action harms your accounts, I will personally reimburse you after the invasion."

"Impressive…" Hiashi mused. "And since we know of this, we can… suggest our clan members take advantage of such a bargain, regardless of our current stocks… and many of the other shinobi and clans in Konoha will take notice of our actions soon afterwards and follow suit…"

"Do our children know of the coming conflict?" Shibi asked sternly.

"Some do, others know that something big is going to happen during the exam, the rest just know that something is up but can't put their finger on it." Scabbard answered. "We plan on warning them to stay on guard during the Exams once they have finished their training. We have also long since assigned unofficial leaders for the entire group, ones that the others will listen to when they give out orders…"

"Hinata, Naruto, and Shikamaru." Hiashi answered without any hesitation, getting odd looks from his colleagues. "Ghost hinted as much when he ate at the clan compound before the exams. He claimed that all three of them were already special jōnin candidates in skill alone, if not in decision making."

Scabbard nodded. "True, however we have also decided that should those three be absent, that Sakura, Shino, Neji and Sasuke be the next in line to give orders. Are there any objections to this decision?" The listeners shook their heads. "Good, now there is one more thing that I must inform you all of. I am not going to explain my reasoning, however there are several individuals that are going to be present during the third exam, and thus the invasion, that deserve certain… notice." He took out several photographs and spread them around. "Rōshi, one of the personal guards of the Tsuchikage; Fū, one of the supporting jōnin from Takigakure; Gaara of the Desert, one of the Suna genin in the finals; Yugito Nii, a jōnin from Kumogakure." He paused as he noted the strained look on Hiashi's face. "These individuals are secret high priority shinobi. Should you see any one of them in danger of dying or being kidnapped at ANY time, even after the invasion, you are to rescue them if it is within your capabilities. I must note that if the ones fighting these people are wearing a black cloak with red clouds, you are to exercise EXTREME caution, as the mentioned opponents are all registered as S-class missing-nin."

The clan leaders froze as Scabbard released the information. "Wh… what?" Tsume asked incredulously. "There's… no way that can be right. I mean, why would they wear something as identifiable as that if they are S-ranked missing-nin? They should know better than that…"

"… it should be noted that up until 5 years ago, Orochimaru was part of said group…" Scabbard continued. "… and its current members include but are not limited to Kisame Hoshigaki, Sasori of the Red Sands, and Itachi Uchiha…"

One could hear a pin drop in the room without even trying at that point. "I…Itachi?" Breathed out Inoichi. Even 5 years after the incident, everyone knew and remembered what Itachi had done at the young age of 13. It was both impressive and horrifying at the same time, and the elder shinobi of Konoha knew that in the time since, he had most likely become even more powerful.

"That is most… unsettling…" Shibi commented nervously.

"I've heard of the other two as well." Frowned Shikaku. "If even half of what I know of them is true, then this group is more troublesome than originally thought."

Scabbard nodded. "The reason why they are dressed as such is because they are not aware of the amount of information we have on them. However, I am getting ahead of myself. Their organization will not make any large moves for several years still. I am merely informing you in case it happens in the near future. As of right now though, this information is also to be considered an S-ranked secret."

"Hold on." Inoichi interrupted as he looked at Rōshi's picture. "This guy is a guard for the Tsuchikage? Does that mean that Ōnoki is actually coming HERE to see the exams?"

Tsume started to growl. "That short fuck is coming? I still remember some of the things that bastard ordered during the war. He has a lot of nerve, bringing himself over here. Maybe this invasion could give us a good chance to…"

"You will do nothing to the Tsuchikage while he is within the borders of the Fire country, Tsume." Frowned Scabbard. "Nor will the rest of you. Unless you want to drag Iwa into this mess, you will NOT take any hostile actions against any Iwa-nin during their stay here unless they themselves have instigated such responses. Do I make myself clear? To be perfectly honest, I expected you to be more mature than this Tsume."

"Tch… fine." The woman growled.

"As long as they don't do anything suspicious I have no qualms about them being here." Chōza sighed.

"Why is Ōnoki coming here in the first place?" Inoichi asked curiously. "I mean, he's about as old as Hokage-sama if I remember correctly, and he is normally not one to go out on trips, let alone to the country that defeated his in the last war."

Scabbard sighed. "The Tsuchikage is coming because he has heard rumors regarding the latest batch of genin and their prowess on the battlefield. Normally, this would not warrant much concern, but with the son and daughter of the Kazekage participating, as well as seven prominent clan members, many of whom are heirs to the clans they belong to, it would take little to see that these Exams in particular will be very tempting to watch…"

"… I wonder if those are the only reasons…" Shikaku muttered under his breath.

"…I for one am more concerned as to why there are Kumo shinobi entering the village…" Hiashi commented a bit darkly. "They are normally not ones to go out and visit other villages on a whim…"

"It is because I asked for her to come myself, Hiashi-san." Scabbard replied. He glared at the man dead in the eyes to prove his point. "The reason why she must be protected is the same reason why I have asked her here for the Exams. I have little doubt that she will survive the invasion, and this is the best opportunity for her to come here and speak with… others that are involved in the situation she is in. I trust you and your clan will not do anything foolish should any of its members cross paths with her or anyone she came here with. Should she herself be the instigator, I will take responsibility for anything that would happen. You should remember that your entire clan is sealed now, so your bloodline is not in danger of being stolen anytime soon."

"I will keep that in mind…" Hiashi replied sternly.

"Can we get back to the invasion, though? You know, the one that will hit our home in a matter of weeks?" Tsume growled irritably.

"Of course." Scabbard nodded. "Allow me to go into detail into the various situations that will present themselves, as well as the most likely scenarios that will occur…"

o. o. o.

Back at the compound:

Shino breathed heavily as he completed his final lap around the grounds. It was bad enough that he had to do this with Gai and Lee, but being under the constant threat of being punished if he didn't complete the exercise in a certain amount of time by Shadow was almost too much for the boy. His only salvation was that he had somehow managed to figure out how to store sugars and other energy providing chemicals in his body via his insects, so technically speaking, he had the most stamina in his age group next to Lee and Naruto. The running itself was just a very sadistic way of teaching how to manage his reserves properly and increasing his natural stamina.

Still attempting to catch his breath, Shino walked over to a group of rocks where Shikamaru was busy meditating quietly in the shade. He would have passed for sleeping had his face not have a hard expression on.

"THE FLOOR DEMANDS A SACRIFICE! BRING FORTH THE VIRGIN HOT POCKETS!"

"THAT'S IT CRYPT! YOU ARE GOING BACK IN THE CAGE!"

"At least it never gets dull here…" Sighed Shikamaru.

"Indeed." Shino agreed as he sat near the Nara.

"How's your training been so far?" Shikamaru asked.

"I believe I have made sufficient progress." Shino breathed out heavily. "And you?"

Shikamaru yawned. "It's been troublesome, but I think I've finally gotten the hang of what I'm supposed to be doing…"

Shino raised an eyebrow. "And what would that be?"

Shikamaru smirked. "Sorry. I'm keeping it a secret for now, otherwise that troublesome woman would be down both our throats with her claws out."

Shino shivered at the thought of invoking Shadow's wrath. "I… do not doubt that would be an option in her mind. She is rather… creative."

The two were silent for several minutes as they gathered their thoughts.

"… I heard that you've been sneaking around a lot lately." Shikamaru sighed, startling Shino. "… you suspect something is going on, but you don't know what." He looked at the Aburame. "Ghost told me." He stated bluntly, answering a good number of Shino's questions right off the bat.

"I assume this means that you know what is happening?" Shino asked inquisitively, somehow hiding his anticipation.

"Yeah…" The Nara replied in a somber tone. "Actually, I think it's about time that I tell you some things, anyways. You are, after all, one of the most logical among us…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Ōgakari clan home:

"Do you think it is wise to not inform them of what Orochimaru would most likely do during the invasion? I have left the question alone long enough. Orochimaru has more than likely heard that the Hyūga's seal has been cracked by us. The odds of someone dying if we leave things be are…" Scabbard frowned as he sat in front of several piles of raw material.

"That's exactly why we're not telling them, Scab." Ghost frowned as he yanked several more ice needles out of his body. It had been several hours since Haku had made him a living frostbitten hedgehog and only recently had his body temperature risen enough that he wouldn't get any permanent damage from removing the needles. "Arg! Damn it, Haku! I can understand stabbing me to kingdom come, but did you have to make all of them sink in so deep?"

Scabbard sighed as another dozen swords slowly materialized in front of him. "Considering how you treat your… students, yes, I believe the punishment fit the cause." He paused as his face hardened again. "What are you planning? You do not normally take such a risk without some secret backup to make sure things don't end up in a worst case scenario."

Ghost smirked darkly as he reached for another cluster of ice. "The brats don't know what war is like, Scab. The ones that remember have faced up against obscenely tough opponents, and had their home reduced to a crater, but they were knocked out or out in the woods when the invasion hit last time." The air grew cold around the men, and it wasn't because of the ice on Ghost. "They have yet to see what horrors can come from large groups of mildly powerful individuals. They have yet to see their homes fall apart all around them from not one or two strong opponents, but swarms of men and women who would like nothing more than to see them dead. They have not yet seen something go horrendously wrong in an already extremely bad situation. Is this the safest decision? Fuck, no. Is this the only way they will realize what the world can become? Yes." He yanked out another dozen needles without flinching. "If that brat wants to be a Hokage, or any kind of leader in a shinobi driven world, he has to see it at its worst in order to understand and deal what he is truly asking for. Otherwise, he will not last long at all…" Ghost's stern expression softened a bit. "Otherwise, he'll just get betrayed by his dream, like Archer…"

Scabbard didn't say anything as he faced his weapons and raw materials. Both men didn't have to say anything more on the subject in order to convey what they thought about the situation or their good friend. "… you still have yet to tell me what your precautions are…" The man finally stated after a good 5 minutes of nothing but the sound of electricity sparking around them.

Ghost sighed, yanking out some more needles. "Oh, Scabbard. I'm surprised you haven't figured it out yet. I mean, really." He shrugged. "What better way to surprise your opponents than to use a piece that they thought was taken already?" He paused as he looked at his body. "Uh… Scab? On a completely unrelated topic, could you get Waltz down here? I think some of my skin didn't thaw yet before I took out some of the needles. … Please hurry, I can see some damaged muscles… and the veins aren't bleeding, either... black isn't a good color for tissue, is it?"

o. o. o.

Omake:

Shadow's (And recently Anko's) How to torture Ghost journal entry:

How to get Ghost to do anything you want:

Required items:

1 Gas mask

N boxes of Chinese food.

X Rolls of toilet paper

(X and N are variables for desired effects. To see the proper ratio of each, please consult the table found in earlier entries)

Step1. Remove toilet paper from stalls and bathrooms in building Ghost is currently inside.

Step 2. Sneak up on Ghost and shove N boxes of Chinese food down his throat.

Step 3: Stay away from Ghost as he makes a beeline for the nearest (toilet paperless) bathroom. Please note that Ghost's reaction to step 2 is near instant, so it would be advisable to hold your breath immediately afterwards.

Step 4: Wait a minimum of half an hour to two hours in order for Ghost to move all his bowels.

Step 5: Put on gas mask.

Step 6: Hold current stash of toilet paper hostage in return for said task.

Step 7: Laugh and enjoy.

Please note that subjected bathroom will be in need of fumigation immediately afterwards, so it is best to do this at someone else's house.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ugh. School.

I gotta study so I'll make this quick.

Manga: Sucking, but could get better if Kishi gets his head out of his ass. Anime: Still too early to tell. Could be interesting even if it is Filler.

The 3rd rounds will be in a couple more chapters. I'm trying to add in more plot so that I can think of more stuff.

Review! Worship the Log! Draw Stuff! REVIEW AGAIN!


	37. Nope, not the third round of the exams yet, try again later.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 37: Nope, not the third round of the exams yet, try again later.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"So this is the strongest of the five shinobi villages, huh? I gotta say, other than its size, I'm not impressed." Karui commented as she walked with Yugito, Omoi, and Samui as they walked through the village.

"Oi Karui, don't say stuff like that out loud." Omoi replied in a nervous but tired tone. "What if someone here hears you? We could get into a fight! And then one of us gets killed, and then Raikage-sama will start a war, then…"

Samui sighed. "Omoi, please stop talking. I doubt that will happen. Besides, if someone does go wrong, we can always beat up Karui in front of whomever she pissed off this time as an apology."

"I second that plan." Yugito stated, halfway between being serious and joking. She was still a bit irritated that the Raikage wouldn't let her go without some sort of escort, even though he knew she could take care of herself and that Konoha wouldn't try anything stupid, but at least she was being accompanied by Bee's students. All three of the teenagers (A/N: I have no idea what their ages are, so I'm going to assume that they are around 15-16 at this point in the manga) were fairly skilled kenjutsu specialists and worked well as a team, Samui already being a special jōnin and the other two being experienced chūnin. The three had yet to set foot in any decently sized village or town other than Kumogakure, so as a compromise, the Raikage sent his brother's three students as guards for Yugito so that they could learn more about village relations. Personally, Yugito liked the Land of Fire. There were more trees here and she felt more natural in the woods rather than going up and down the mountains that plagued the Land of Lightning. Still, she wouldn't move here even if she was paid to. Home was home to her.

"Hey!" Karui yelled irritably. Ever since she got in Konoha, she and Omoi had been getting odd looks everywhere. Normally she was used to it, due to having been out of her nation more than once and knew that people of her skin color were not seen frequently, however there were often looks of disdain that accompanied the looks of curiosity after a few good seconds. She knew that Konoha did not appreciate what had happened a decade beforehand, but it still didn't warrant that kind of treatment. "Is it my fault that everyone here has a rod up their butt when they see me?"

"See? No. Hear? Yes." Samui replied bluntly, causing her friend to glare and shake her fist angrily in response.

"Hey, what's happening at that store over there?" Omoi asked as he looked at a shinobi store with a fairly large crowd of ninja in front of it. "I've never seen a weapons shop get flooded like that before…"

"They must have some pretty good equipment on sale." Yugito mused as she saw the people leaving the crowd carrying boxes of liquids, oddly marked kunai, and high quality weapons. "You guys wanna check it out?"

Omoi nervously looked around. "Yugito-sensei, you are the only person who would suggest walking into a crowd of foreign shinobi armed to the teeth with fresh weapons. Count me out."

"You coward." Karui grumbled. "Count me in. I've been looking to get a new sword for a while now, and Bee-sensei chipped mine during training before we left. There's a chance I might find a half-decent blade in there…"

"I'll stay back in case Omoi needs help with anything." Samui stated. "I was never good with crowds, anyway."

Yugito shrugged as she walked to the store. "Suit yourself. Come on, Karui, and please watch what you say this time."

Karui grumbled. "Yeah, yeah."

"Excuse me." Yugito asked a nearby jōnin. "What is with the large crowd? Is the store having a sale?"

The man stared at Yugito for a moment as if she was crazy before looking at her headband and stiffening for a moment then relaxing. It was not uncommon to have foreign shinobi in the village to watch the Exams, but Kumo shinobi was definitely a rarity. "Um… yeah." He replied carefully, gaining back his composure. "Shiki Higurashi is having a sale to celebrate the Exams and the fact that his daughter is fighting in them. All clan goods are half off for Konoha shinobi. Even the weapons made by the Ōgakari are on sale, and those are never discounted."

"Ōgakari? I've never heard of them." Karui replied bluntly. "Are they some new clan?"

The man nodded, knowing that even if he divulged any information about them, it would be impossible to make their heads any bigger. "The entire clan arrived a month ago, but the one who makes the weapons has been in and out of town for a good year now. The swords, tantō and other weapons he makes are of the highest quality, so they are always in extremely high demand. Rumor has it that all the ANBU here are equipped with at least one piece of his equipment."

Karui snorted. "Yeah, right. It sounds fishy to me. What's the catch? There's always a downside to these 'amazing weapons'."

The jōnin's eyebrows twitched before sighing. "There isn't any catch. These things take forever to chip, rarely rust, are incredibly difficult to break, slow to dull, and are extremely well balanced. The only possible catch is that we occasionally have to deal with the clan's more… eccentric behavior."

"Eccentric?" Yugito asked curiously with a raised eyebrow. "Surely a single clan can't be that bad."

Immediately after the magical plot words of suffering were spoken, the road was overwhelmed by a man's screaming.

"God Damn It! Stop Fucking Zapping Me!" Roared Zabuza as he frantically pushed a cart filled with clan supplies while a coatless Scabbard sat in said cart with two of his fingers pointing at the tortured shinobi, shooting the unfortunate makeshift mule with another bolt of electricity. His green and black lightning bolted t-shirt loosely covering his frame in conjunction with his white/tan cargo pants, and his black sneakers were propped up on one of the boxes being moved.

"Swearing in public is not advisable, Zabuza." The man yawned as the man plowed through the crowd without any regard for the people's safety and screeching to a halt before the shop.

"Why (Gasp) The hell (pant) Am I doing this again?" Zabuza huffed as he collapsed onto the ground.

"Because you're easier to find and hit than Ghost, and you owe us for staying at the clan compound and my modifications to your sword… and because there is no way in hell I'm asking Gai to tag along with me all day. Ghost and the others may be fine with letting you crash there without demanding anything in return, but unfortunately for you, they're not the ones in charge of our finances." Scabbard replied far too quickly before getting out of the cart. "It also doesn't hurt that you're making connections with the other clans by doing this…"

"Yeah, by earning their pity as they watch you run me around town." The swordsman growled. "I can't wait until I can go on some missions again and kill something…"

"Ah! Scabbard! Zabuza!" Shiki greeted happily as he managed to step out of his store. "Thank you so much! I was running out of supplies again! I can't believe how fast some of these products are selling!"

Scabbard nodded as he greeted the store owner. "It is not a surprise, Shiki. Clan products are among the highest quality one can get in any village. It just so happens that most of the ones here have been getting better recently, which increased demand. Your sale doesn't hurt much either, and word of said products will more than likely spread beyond the village soon enough with the new surge of it going around. Hold on for a moment…" Scabbard turned to Zabuza, who was half dead on the ground. "Zabuza, stop sleeping and move the boxes inside the store."

Said man slave had just about enough as he glared at the short man. "Now listen here, you cocky green…"

His rant was cut short as Scabbard sent a clearly thicker bolt of electricity right at his feet, just inches from hitting him without even moving. "I'm sorry, did you think you actually had a choice in the matter? I'll try to not make that mistake next time." All the people watching the group sweat dropped.

After several ambiguously rude gestures and incomprehensible ranting, Zabuza managed to get back up and started to unload the contents of the cart into the store.

"No way…" Karui muttered to herself as she watched the spectacle unravel in front of her. "That can't be…"

Yugito frowned as she also caught on to what the girl was saying. Zabuza Momochi was one of the more reputable missing-nin in the shinobi world at the moment. All experienced jōnin in the Elemental Nations were known to have memorized the names, faces, and abilities of every A-class and above shinobi in all the village's Bingo Books in case they ran into them on a mission. The woman could tell at a glance that the poor man in front of her was one of the rogue members of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. His sword and clothes were a bit different, but the way he wrapped his face and wore his headband were still the same. The woman knew Karui knew the man instantly because the girl made note to know every powerful shinobi swordsman by heart, and of course that included members of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.

"Can I help you two?" Scabbard asked in a bored tone as he saw the women staring at Zabuza intently. "I apologize, but even I won't sell him off to a couple of fangirls, no matter how much you want him. I'm logical and cold, but I'm not evil."

"You could have fooled me!" Yelled Zabuza from inside the store.

"You just have bad taste in who you work for!" Scabbard replied. "You willingly worked for Gatō before you came back here, so you have no say in this conversation at all."

"You've got to be kidding me." Karui said out loud. "How the hell can a member of the Seven Swordsmen be reduced to a freaking delivery boy?!"

"Easy." Scabbard replied as he turned to the two girls again. "First you get him in your debt, then you let him reside at your home for several months, and finally you start exploiting both and start shooting him with several dozen volts of electricity at the same time. It also helps that he's still in his probation period here, so he can't go on any missions yet."

"I will have my revenge!" Zabuza roared.

"Riiiiight." Yugito agreed skeptically as she looked at the cart. "… so I take it you are from this Ōgakari clan?"

Scabbard nodded. "Indeed. I am Scabbard Ōgakari." He paused as he looked at Yugito and Karui.. "… and you two are Yugito Nii and Karui… from Kumogakure. It is an honor to meet individuals of such high ranking."

Karui blinked before glaring at the man. "How the hell do you know our names?!"

"I am a bit of an information specialist." Scabbard replied casually. "I make it my business to know of the big names of those in various countries, and Nii-san just happens to be one of them. As for yourself, I obtained your information due to your relationship to your master Bee Killer, who is the current Raikage's younger brother. I must admit, I am curious to see your master fight in combat. Even I have yet to see an individual who can comfortably wield seven swords at once with four limbs." He looked around with a look of mild curiosity. "I find it odd that only the two of you are here, though. Are Samui-san and Omoi-san present in the village too?"

Yugito swallowed heavily. The man in front of her was clearly a dangerous individual. To be as confident as to release such information without a care in the world showed how much leverage he held on her at the moment… and the way he stared at her with those bored lightning green eyes was way too familiar… "… yes, they are, however they did not want to come see what all the commotion was at the shop."

Scabbard simply yawned and shrugged as if he was talking to anyone else. "Oh well, their loss…" He sighed before turning to Karui. "This may be a bit abrupt, but may I by chance have a look at your sword? I have heard many things about Kumo's blades, but I have yet to see one up close."

Karui blinked and hesitated for a few moments before nodding slowly and handing him her katana and sheath. "It's not exactly in the best condition right now. I was thinking of replacing it soon…"

Scabbard didn't say anything as he withdrew the blade and analyzed it thoroughly with his eyes. The grip was well worn with blood and sweat, but kept in decent condition. The guards had multiple nicks and scratches in it, but not nearly as much as the blade, which was chipped in several places. The metal itself seemed to be nothing special, but was tested in flexibility and durability regardless. The crowd watched as Scabbard held the sword with one hand and swung it in several motions with a curious look on his face before looking at the chips in the blade again and repeating the process. Even Yugito was impressed by how thorough the man seemed to be as he seemed to take in everything about the blade and analyzed it carefully, but extremely quickly.

"… you are too aggressive…" Scabbard mused as he put the blade in the sheath again, getting everyone's ears. "This sword is meant for cutting, but the pattern of the chips in the edge show that you have on more than one occasion resorted to chopping motions instead, which are not particularly suited to this type of weapon. It shows that you are a bit impulsive and impatient if things are not going as you expect them to…" Karui gaped as Scabbard made his analysis of her weapon and through it her personality. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but he had her personality spot on. "… However, the sword is a bit small for someone of your size, and despite the chips in the blade and worn grip, it's kept in fairly decent condition. The grip shows blood and sweat, revealing that you have used the blade frequently both for training and actual combat. Judging from the size of the blade and the number of chips it has compared to your current build, I am guessing that you are a hardworking and dedicated person. You at least try not to let your temper gain control of you when it counts, otherwise this blade would have been snapped in half by now, also showing that you know how to properly use and take care of this style of blade to some extent…" He held up the blade and looked critically at the girl's body, taking in her height, weight, age and build, as well as considering the stats of the blade he held in his hands before turning around and rummaging through the cart much to everyone's curiosity.

"Scabbard-san? What are you doing?" Shibi asked curiously, trying ignore the fact that one of the high priority individuals he was supposed to keep an eye on was a few feet away from him.

"Too long… too heavy… incorrect alloy composition… wrong style…" Scabbard mused as he rummaged through the cart, causing several metallic noises to be heard. "I know I made one somewhere…"

"Oh holy master, your fat ass is in the way of me moving the crap from the cart…" Zabuza growled sarcastically as he approached the man from behind in order to move more of the crates in the cart… only to be blasted by a bolt of electricity and sent the man flying through the air and into the crowd. After the cloud disappeared, Zabuza's smoking and twitching body was revealed, crying tears of pain. "… why?"

"You should know better than to approach me from behind, Zabuza…" Scabbard lectured without turning around and acting as if nothing had happened. "Now where did I… ah. Here it is." He claimed with a tone of amusement, standing up with a katana and sheath in hand. The observers noted that the blade was slightly wider compared to the average curved sword, but nothing else was much different. "Here." He said, tossing it casually to the startled girl, who barely managed to catch it.

"What?" Karui gaped as she managed to get a good hold on the sword. It was a bit longer than what her body was used to, but no doubt it was so that it would be an appropriate length for her as she grew bigger. The wider blade also made the sword a bit heavier than she was used to, but the balance of it was nothing short of perfect. "You're giving this to me?" Karui asked breathlessly as she unsheathed the weapon a small amount to analyze the blade. Even she could not deny that it was a very high quality weapon. "Why?"

"Yeah! Why does that foreign shinobi get one of your swords for free when we have to pay that huge price for them?!" Asked one irritated special jōnin from the crowd.

"It's a simple marketing tactic." Scabbard shrugged. "I give you guys from Kumo a free sample and the option of purchasing weapons from me… with an additional shipping and handling fee, of course, and I gain a new village worth of customers. What better way to promote your wares in a new village then to impress those connected directly with the leader?"

Yugito frowned as she looked at the current situation she was in. She did not like it one bit. "I can't help but think you are trying to push us to promote you. What if we were to say that we just found this sword off of some dead shinobi in the woods on our way back from the Exams?" She said, getting an odd look from several people in the crowd.

Scabbard yawned. "Then it would be your loss, then. I simply want to expand my business a bit, but it won't kill me if you decide to keep quiet as to where the sword came from. I can live from the business I get from Konoha and Suna alone, though I would have thought that one such as yourself would recognize quality weapons when you see them, Nii-san. In fact, these weapons right here are some of my more common ones…" He pointed to Zabuza's smoking carcass. "If you want to know why Zabuza's sword looks different from what has been shown in the Bingo Books, it's because I tweaked it a bit myself. It's another reason why he's practically my slave at the moment."

"I'll… Kill… You…" Zabuza gasped out as several people started poking at him with sticks.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, then just scream it out loud in your head, Zabuza. You're too maimed to be intimidating at the moment." Scabbard lectured, causing everyone listening to sweat drop.

"I guess I'll just move the last of the equipment in myself." Sighed Shiki as he picked a few of the boxes up easily which wasn't surprising considering his large build. "Besides, you and Zabuza have done enough. This is the third time this week I asked you two to make emergency deliveries from the clan compounds. You two deserve a break. I doubt it was easy for you to make this many weapons on so short of a notice."

Scabbard yawned. "Who am I to deny my loyal customers their desires? Besides, the only thing restricting them before was the prices we decided on my wares. I will be damned before lack of supply becomes the main reason why people aren't buying my products."

Shibi chuckled as he reached the door to his store. "By the way, how is my daughter doing with her training?"

The Ōgakari let loose a small smile. "Her progress is indeed impressive. I am thinking of actually taking her on as an apprentice after the Exams if she continues down the path she's going. Also, you might be pleased to know that she has created several new variations of exploding tags that she will share with you when she gets back. I am sure you will want them on your shelves as soon as possible."

"Haha! Wonderful!" The man chuckled as he came back outside for more of the boxes. "I can hardly wait to see what Tenten has made this time! The molds she made for the special kunai have saved me much time with several special orders from the ANBU and jōnin here, and her storage scrolls are already sold out! Don't get me wrong, your products are also amazing, but I haven't seen anything new from you lately in terms of variety…"

Scabbard smirked. "Funny you should mention that. I'm actually working on a 9-piece equipment set right now." The man didn't have to turn around to know that he had Yugito's attention. "In fact, I've already finished the 1st and 9th pieces already, and the 2nd should be done pretty soon as well. The 4th and the 7th should be completed at most a few days afterwards, and the 5th and the 8th are to be done after that, considering it's easier to do them after the 4th and the 2nd. Unfortunately, the 3rd and the 6th are proving the most difficult to finish and may take some time to complete."

Shiki blinked as he picked up more boxes. "That's an odd way of going through the pieces, don't you think? Also, your weapons are already a bit expensive by themselves. How is anyone going to be able to buy a 9 piece set made by you?"

Scab sighed. "I labeled them based on a system I made a while ago for equipment assassins take on a mission, so the order doesn't matter as much. As for the price range, I plan on using cheaper materials for some of the pieces in order to make the price more reasonable. The set will be a bit expensive compared to normal shinobi attire, but I assure you that the quality and protection of it will make sure that they come back again in one piece… as long as they don't do anything stupid or get in over their heads, of course."

"You'd be surprised… but then again, I've seen the rest of your family…" Shiki chuckled darkly as he walked into his store with the last of the boxes. "So I've heard you've been busy at the arena lately. Can I send a message to you there if I need anything else?"

Scabbard shook his head as he walked to Zabuza. "I would rather you wouldn't. I'm trying to keep what I do there a surprise for everyone for when the Exams start. If you want to get to me though, just come over to my place during the night, I'll be there by then." He kicked Zabuza. "Oi slacker. Shiki did the rest of your job for you. Take the cart back to the compound, I'm going to the arena… and make sure that it's in one piece, or I'll make sure you work for me via forced D-ranked missions after the Exams."

Zabuza growled in a very homicidal manner that scared the people around him away.

"Good. After you get back home you can have the rest of the day off." Scabbard said before turning to the street and walking away. "Make sure that you look over the kids' training, though. Take care of your new sword, Karui. My craftsmanship can only make a blade last for so long. Later!" He called out before disappearing around a corner.

Yugito blinked several times before she realized where she was again. "That was him…" She muttered under her breath before turning to Karui. The girl had taken the sword out completely and was looking at it skeptically. Even if she wasn't a kenjutsu expert, Yugito could tell that the weapon was extremely well made and of very high quality. "So… what do you think?" She asked curiously.

Karin frowned as she continued to look at the sword. "It's a bit heavier than what I'm used to… but other than that… I can't believe I'm saying this, but this is probably the best sword I've ever held. I would even hazard to say that it's higher in quality than Sensei's swords… and honestly, he picked it out perfectly considering what I'm used to and my style… he's very good…"

"Damn…" Whistled the jōnin the pair was just talking to a few minutes beforehand. "You are so lucky, getting one of the Ōgakari swords for free. Normally a person has to pay a million ryō for something like that. Even with the sale, it's still a bit more than 500,000…"

"WHAT!?" The two women yelled out in unison which was not surprising. The unaltered price of a single sword was the rough equivalent to a high ranking A-class mission, possibly even an S-class mission's pay. Even at half the price, the buyer would need to perform around half a dozen B-ranked missions to get enough money to buy one.

"Yeah." The man chuckled nervously as he turned to see people exiting the shop with weapons that were just shipped in moments before. "Most of these people are here because this is probably their best chance to get one. Some have been saving up for months in order to buy one at full price. They're good for conducting chakra, extremely high quality, long lasting, extremely sharp and dependable instruments of death." He shrugged. "Oh, well. Truth be told, I'm on line to get one myself. I guess this is good-bye, then." The man sighed before dashing into the crowd pushing and shoving like crazy.

Karui started to twitch unconsciously. "Sensei… should we tell the others about this? Samui and Omoi would start to go nuts knowing how paranoid and high strung they are… not to mention how Samui gets whenever she's near anything that's valuable…"

"Y-Yeah… sure." Yugito replied, equally as unsteady as she tried to sort out what happened in her head.

o. o. o.

Inside the training grounds… again… sigh (A/N: Seriously, how many scenes have been done here in the last 3 chapters?!):

Hinata groaned out in pain as she collapsed onto the ground in front of Ghost. Her body was covered in scratches and bruises, and she had little doubt that a few of her bones were at least fractured. This was nothing new to the girl, as she had been constantly fighting the man for about a week now to get her body and reflexes ready for the exam. She knew that Naruto would never use the Kyūbi's chakra against her in the arena unless he was trying to heal quickly, but she still did not feel comfortable going against the boy's large and still growing list of jutsu at his disposal. Admittedly, Hinata knew that her list and range of techniques were nothing to scoff at either, but it didn't hurt to be prepared when going up against a boy who pulls pranks on ANBU for fun.

That being said, it should be noted that Ghost was actually fighting her instead of dodging and giggling like a mad school girl like he normally does. No, this time he actually attacked her with his swords in hand, slashing in a wide variety of styles and patterns that was impossible to follow for long. Luckily, she had learned how to counter weapons that were chakra enhanced several weeks beforehand, but it really didn't help that much as the man frequently ignored standard kenjutsu practices and often tossed a sword into the air as a fake and distraction in order to pull off some obscure technique, as well as striking with his legs as frequently as his swords. Each fight had pushed Hinata to the brink as she honed her reflexes and perfected the timing of her techniques so she could stave off another half a dozen blows and last another minute against the unpredictable man. Even Kaiten was ineffective against him as the man would simply rush out of her attack's range before it completely manifested itself and then dash in as soon as she started to slow down. She had, of course, eventually found a way around this weakness within a few days, but she had yet to land a single significant blow on the man.

In front of her, Ghost chuckled as he casually walked up to her with a sword in each of his hands. "Not bad, princess." He smiled. "You're getting better at keeping up with this speed. Your stamina and reserves are getting larger too…" His body sped towards the girl extremely quickly, and it was only by instinct and reflex that the girl dodged the sword that was meant for her head as she spun her body on one of her hands and used her outstretched kicking leg to counterattack. Ghost smirked as he countered the counter by also standing on one arm, the one that was holding the sword in the ground, and kicking out both of his legs at the same time while on his side. The upper leg countered the attacking leg by striking the girl's femur, where he knew she wouldn't be focusing much of her attacking chakra, and the lower leg plowing into her chest.

Hinata flew several meters before crashing into the ground yet again with a painful thump. Ghost, on the other hand, spun on the hilt of his sword several times before using the momentum to launch himself in the air and land deftly on his feet… only to stumble a bit on the leg that countered Hinata's attacking leg. Hinata smirked as she coughed, still recovering from the last blow dealt to her. "So Sensei… cough… how did I do?"

Ghost seemed not to pay attention to the girl as he started to test out his leg and see how much damage the girl had managed to give him. "… Impressive." Ghost mused. "I didn't know that you figured out how to focus attacking chakra to your femur… in almost any other circumstance it would have been almost useless since there are almost no attacks that directly use that part of the body in attacks… let alone anyone that actually aims for that part of the body… but you guessed correctly that I would counter your leg there while attacking you …" He rotated his ankle and winced. "Yeah… you definitely got a few tendons there. This is definitely one of your better moments if I do say so myself…"

Hinata giggled dryly as the man gave her a grin and spun his swords in his hands, causing them to fade away instantly. "I only managed to get you because you have a habit of hitting the upper parts of a person's limb when you want to counter. When I try to punch you, you strike inside my guard and hit my bicep, when I try to kick at you from the side, you aim for my femur… of course, that's only when you don't dodge my attacks, so it was a bit of a gamble…"

Ghost chuckled as he limped to the girl. "Not bad. You're not the first person to notice that habit of mine, but you definitely are one of the few that managed to come up with a way to use it to make a solid counter. Even Shadow has trouble dealing with that habit of mine. Knowing what I'll do is almost useless if you can't react to it in the first place… but you managed to do something that most people can't do and catch me off guard…"

Whatever the man was going to say next was interrupted as the two were swamped by an incredibly heavy feeling from another part of the grounds. The air itself seemed to shake as if a large explosion was constantly going off, but there was no noise to be heard. If asked, a person would describe the sensation as being the equivalent to being stuck at the bottom of an ocean with something massive looking down on her just out of her view. Hinata collapsed while in the middle of trying to get back up again and started to cough and wheeze heavily. "Wh-wh-wh…?" She stammered out as her lungs failed to work.

Ghost frowned as he quickly leapt to the girl and put his hand on her back, somehow relieving much of the strange pressure she was feeling at the moment. "Take deep breaths, Hinata. Nice and slow…" He advised calmly, seemingly unaffected by the Presence.

"S-sensei?" Hinata managed to whisper out. "What… who is that?" She asked, somehow knowing that she was feeling someone's presence at the moment.

Before Ghost could answer though, a second Presence washed over them, countering the first one. Unlike the former, this new Presence seemed more alive and active, as if it was dancing around the user constantly, but still feral and dangerous in nature. It was not as imposing, as it felt… free, and absolutely uncontrollable. "Hoooh?" Ghost mused. "So this is the brat's when he isn't being helped by the fur ball? Not bad… his hold on the air is pretty solid… even if it is a bit sloppy and wasteful at the moment… but it's still strong enough to push back the old man a little bit…" The pair continued to watch as the area where the forces were coming from was surrounded by a wall of dust and wind. "… he has enough juice and control to subconsciously pull off a storm wall, too? That's pretty good… though I doubt he will be able to hold it for long at this rate…"

Hinata managed to reclaim some more control over her lungs. "You mean that first feeling is Waltz-sensei?"

Ghost sighed and gave Hinata a gentle smile. "Yeah, that's the old man all right. He's a real softie most of the time, but the fart is as unstoppable as Gai's sunset genjutsu if he's pissed off." He paused as he made a shadow clone. The cloud had barely disappeared before the clone sped towards the source of the two forces with impressive speed. "Don't worry, the brat is stubborn. Even if he does get killed, Waltz and the Kyūbi will be able to bring him back in no time."

"Killed?!" Hinata squeaked with a pale face.

"Oh… riiiight, I'm supposed to NOT tell the entire truth to loved ones when the subject at hand is in an extremely lethal situation… heheh, wow, that went completely over my head this time…" Ghost said to himself in an airy tone. He would have said more, but his attention was diverted to the two forces as the pair grew rapidly. Suddenly a massive bang echoed throughout the training area, accompanied by an equally large wall of dust that traveled outward to the pair.

"Sensei!" Hinata shouted hysterically as the cloud towered over the pair… only to split in half and go around them at the last moment.

"Hm?" Ghost mused as he turned back to the girl. "Oh right, I completely forgot what to make for dinner tonight… I mean you did manage to injure me and everything, so your training is technically finished… I could make cinnamon buns for dessert. I'm pretty sure I still remember how to make them…"

"What about Naruto-kun!?" She shouted hysterically, ignoring the pain in her stomach.

"What about him?" Ghost replied absentmindedly. "You know that he eats everything I make for dinner. I mean it's not like I try to make stuff that he doesn't like…" He stopped as Hinata had just stomped up to him and struck his legs forcefully with her jūken strikes, forcing him to collapse to the ground with the girl pinning him violently. "Ah… right. The living… thing…" He chuckled nervously as the girl gave him a deadly glare. "Well… most of that explosion was done by Waltz… the mini tornado was Blondie… so odds are the kid is going to be down and out for a while, even with healing he's gonna get from the inside and out… the clone that just shot off is just going to check up on everyone and make sure no one was hurt from the backlash."

Hinata's eyes narrowed even more. "What kind of training was he doing?"

Ghost smirked. "Sorry, it's a secret for now, but I extremely doubt that it'll get like that during your fight. Really, it was only supposed to be training to get around a small flaw of his… I guess old man kinda got carried away a bit… can I have my spine back now?"

Hinata huffed as she let go of Ghost. She may have gotten better, but when it came to Naruto or her family, the girl was still a bit high strung. Anytime she heard about something that could pose a problem to either one, Hinata would try to jump in and try and solve the problem before it affected those she cared about. "Fine… but take me to Naruto-kun. I want to see if he's okay."

Ghost looked at the girl as if she was an idiot. "1. I can't take you anywhere since you took out my foot, and 2, of course he's not okay, you idiot! Didn't that Byakugan of yours see that huge ass explosion?! The kid is probably chopped meat by now…" He paused as he saw the death glare the girl gave him. Ghost had long ago learned never to mess with the girl when she had that look on, which first appeared when he made fun of her crush on the blonde FAR too many times one day. He sighed. "Fine. CRYPT!"

Said psychopath exploded from the ground nearby them and landed flat on his face. "Yes, my liege?! I was on a quest to find the mother of the unborn child that I am carrying when I heard your call! What is your bidding!?"

Ghost nodded in an overly serious manner, clearly not trying to translate what the hell Crypt had just said. "Mistress Hinata and I are weary from the day's training and desire transportation to ground zero to see the old guy and the butchered kid. MAKE IT SO, NUMBER ZUG ZUG!"

Crypt stood up at attention like a soldier and made an attempt to salute despite the fact that he was in a straightjacket. "BY YOUR WILL, CAPTIAN CRUNCH!" Crypt slammed one of his feet into the ground, and to Hinata's surprise, a huge slab of stone that was underneath the three jumped up, causing her to squeak. Another half a second later, the slab was racing across the ground towards the source of the explosion.

Hinata would have been grateful if she wasn't shocked beyond known reason and lowering herself as much as possible, which of course aggravated her wounds a bit.

Ghost sighed as he stood up completely straight despite the speed the group was going and the injury to his foot. "While we're there, I'll have Waltz patch you up. Training overall is going to be finished in a few days anyways, so I'll let you hang out with Naruto for a while. That explosion pretty much told me that he's done with all of his training, since what he was doing just now was the last of what I had planned for him down here. You passed the final test back there anyways. You did a good job." He pretended he didn't notice the thankful look that the girl was giving him. "Just remember that everyone down here felt that blast, so don't be surprised if we aren't the only ones that are there…"

Hinata breathed slowly as she tried to calm herself down and felt the wind through her hair, which was reaching to the lower middle of her back at this point. "Sensei… do you think I can win against Naruto-kun in the Exams?" She asked nervously.

Ghost smiled as he understood what was going through her mind. "If this was an all-out fight… your chances of winning would suck..." He waited to see the girl's depressed reaction. "… However, since he's not allowed to use any Rasengan variants, Sage Mode, or the Kyūbi's chakra… I'm putting the odds of you winning at… I'm guessing about 45%." He smirked as her demeanor brightened up a bit.

"But that means I'm still less likely to win…" She sighed.

Ghost snorted as he turned to the girl. "Yeah. So? Do you honestly think that Naruto would give a damn if I told him his chances of coming out on top were 10%? The idiot would laugh and charge in anyway screaming about kicking ass… and then probably end up winning too." He put on a perverted grin. "It's one of the reasons why you looove him after all." Hinata blushed heavily but didn't look away, which was more evidence of the girl's improvements. "Just fight him like you normally do and he'll do the same… albeit both of you will use more techniques than usual, but that's about it. Remember, you can easily become chūnin even if you lose in the first round… in fact, I am expecting whoever loses between you two to get the rank regardless of who wins. Both of you are far too good to be stuck as genin."

Hinata looked up and smiled. "Thanks, Sensei… I needed that."

"Anytime Hinata." Ghost responded. "We're here." He noted as the three approached a rather large crater with Waltz on the edge healing an unconscious Naruto. "Hey old man! What's the damage?!" He shouted as he jumped off the slab and limped to his elder with Hinata and Crypt behind him. Waltz looked like he had had better days, as his clothes were ripped in several places and was covered in dirt. His thick skin was cut too, but not as severely as his clothes.

Naruto, on the other hand, looked like he was put up against Gai for a week. His body was covered in bruises and cuts of all shapes and sizes. Half his face was swollen out of proportion and his breathing was shallow. The only thing that seemed out of place was the confident grin on the boy's face.

Waltz smiled as he turned to them. "Mostly exhaustion. There are a few wounds here and there, but luckily I managed to aim for his head, so he should be fine."

Hinata sweat dropped as she approached the pair. "Can I help?" She asked.

Waltz raised an eyebrow as he looked at the girl. "Now? Child, you would do more damage at this point than help in the state you're in. The best you can do is wait your turn to get healed from whatever Ghost did to you this time… no doubt it involves exploding kitchen appliances and something with rabies… and help take care of him while he's out."

Ghost frowned. "Hey, only Midget and Crypt screw around with biological mutagens, you know that. I'm not THAT evil… most of the time anyways… when I feel like it…"

"Taco clowns?" Crypt asked as he rolled on the ground.

"That's later this month." Ghost replied. Hinata shivered uncontrollably.

"Case and point." Grumbled Waltz as he continued to heal Naruto.

"So what did you use to bean the brat with? Your staff?" Ghost asked as he looked at the crater with a skeptical eye.

"I used a water composed sword." The old man grumbled. "He's still nowhere near strong enough for any of my real pieces of equipment or my fists yet... though I will admit he showed some promise just now."

Ghost shrugged. "I figured as much. Hinata here managed to sneak a hit on me just before you went off. Honestly, these kids just keep on getting better…"

"Interesting. I assumed she would not be able to for another few days." Waltz replied before turning to the girl with a gentle smile. "You are quite impressive to say the least, young one. Hitting Ghost is no small task. He has a lot of practice running away from those he has irritated, so he is quite adept at evading just about everything, to say the least."

"Damn straight! I've pissed off everything from small infant animals to inanimate objects to freaking gods! You name it, I've made fun of it to its face in its own native language plus five others." Ghost claimed proudly.

"Ich bin ein Berliner!" Crypt shouted in a high pitched voice.

"Erm… thanks." Hinata said to Waltz, desperately trying to ignore Ghost before turning her attention to Naruto again, who was already looking better due to Waltz's treatment. Almost all of his cuts and bruises were gone, and the swelling had already gone down dramatically. Her face softened as she stared at her boyfriend's face. Hinata had made great improvements in her training lately, and she would try her hardest in the exams… but if she lost, it would no doubt be to the boy in front of her.

And she was perfectly happy with that.

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

A green haired girl with a Waterfall headband on her right arm and a large red container on her back walked throughout the streets of Konoha looking around aimlessly. She WAS supposed to be on a mission, looking for the Ōgakari clan compound in order to obtain information on some really old and supposedly extremely dangerous missing-nin from her village, but she had until after the Exams to come back to her village with the information and she certainly was in no rush to go back to that place. Honestly, she had no idea why the hell the message was sent to her in the first place, but if it gave her an excuse to leave her village for a while who was she to complain?

The girl stretched lazily as she took in the sights of Konoha. Personally, she didn't think it was much compared to Takigakure, but then again, no one was staring at her as if she was a monster, so things evened out a bit.

"I assume you are here to watch the Exams…" Mused a monotone voice from behind her.

The special jōnin immediately put up her mental guard as she swiftly turned around to confront the person talking to her. She had been taking the back roads more often than not, and as such not a lot of people should have crossed her path while she was exploring the village, which also meant that she should have been able to detect anyone following her. Looking in front of her, she saw a young redheaded boy, around 12-13 years old with a large gourd on his back and black rings around his eyes. The girl frowned as she saw the headband around the strap across his chest. "What do you want, kid? Aren't you a bit young to try to pick up random women in alleyways?" She asked warily, keeping an eye out for any other potential threats.

Gaara closed his eyes and sighed. He had been informed of the other jinchūriki that were going to be in the village during the invasion and was shown their pictures for future reference. He knew that the girl in front of him, Fū, was one of the first jinchūriki kidnapped and killed by Akatsuki. As such, judging from what Deidara had claimed when he encountered Naruto's group, she was raised and treated in a less than positive manner like he and Naruto were, so much so that her village didn't even put up an effort to get her back when she was being kidnapped in the first place. This meant that getting her to willingly cooperate or listen to everything that he was going to say was going to be as easy as say, getting the old him to not kill someone that pissed him off. Goodie. "… I wanted to talk to someone like myself…" He said carefully, trying to find out the right words to use in the situation.

"Huh?" Fū blinked, confused as hell by the boy in front of her. "What the hell are you talking about? Someone like yourself?"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "I mean I wanted to talk to someone else who holds… unique powers… number Seven."

Fū's eyes widened as she realized what the boy was talking about before getting into a defensive stance. "… I get it now… so what do you want to talk about… number..."

"One." Gaara replied simply. "There are several of us that will be in the village for the Exams… it would be best for everyone if you did what you were sent here to do sooner rather than later…"

Fū gritted her teeth. She did not like to be led blindly anywhere, and that went double for being tricked. She had to deal with enough shit like that back home. She did _not_ want to go through more crap like that while on one of her few decent breaks she'd had since she became a shinobi. "Why should I trust you? Who else is going to be here? You better answer, brat, before I make you…"

Gaara frowned as he raised his killing intent, causing the girl to flinch. He knew she was more unnerved than she let on, but he was determined to establish the food chain right then and there. "First of all, do not assume that you can beat me simply because you hold more and are older than me. I am more than confident that I have more control of mine than you do yours, and am quite adept at using his powers efficiently." He increased the intent, causing her to step back.

"Second of all, I am reaching my hand out to you because WE are ALL being targeted by individuals that are more than capable of taking us down, with or without our 'special friends'… help. The Ōgakari are going out of their way to make sure that we're prepared when they make their move." He closed his eyes and sighed. "As for who else is attending… Two, Four, and Nine are also going to be present in the village. We are all have a meeting together two days before the Exams at the Ōgakari clan compound, but it would be best if you met with them beforehand just in case…"

Fū growled as she relaxed her stance by a miniscule margin. "A group hunting US? Those guys must have some pretty big balls to be able to try to pull something like that off…"

Gaara breathed out deeply while still having his eyes closed. "Indeed, and they have the skills to match. All of them are S-ranked missing-nin… in fact, I am told that one of them is the shinobi you are gathering information on…"

Fū raised an eyebrow and glared at Gaara. Kakuzu was more of a myth in her village than anything these days. The only reason why her village even kept his name in their Bingo Book was because no one had confirmed his body yet, and the village was somewhat determined to take back the Earth Grudge Fear technique that he stole from them decades before. Plus, his name was still occasionally whispered from time to time in the underground world, so the village couldn't take any chances. "Who are you, kid? You're way too mature and calm to talking about this kind of stuff so easily, even if you were brought up like me."

Gaara opened his eyes and stared at Fū. "My name is Gaara of the Desert, third child of the Fourth Kazekage… who is responsible for my current… condition, and has raised me to be a weapon. Until recently, my less than adequate upbringing had led me to believe that killing others proved my existence, though thankfully that is not the case now, thanks to nine." Fū fidgeted underneath his cold gaze. It was unnatural for someone his age to have a look like that in his eyes. "I am well aware of what your life has most likely been like, as mine has been more or less the same. However, you must understand that it would be best for not only our… kind, but the entire shinobi world as well to collaborate in this case, regardless of personal feelings…"

Fū blinked and looked at Gaara in the eyes. Everything the brat spewed out sounded completely bogus in her opinion, but then again, it was extremely difficult to argue with a person with that emotionless look on his face. "… you do realize how ridiculous you sound right now… right? Saving the world? That sounds like something from a bad fairy tale…"

Gaara's eyes narrowed. "Much like sticking a monster the size of a village into an infant's stomach…"

The green haired girl flinched. "Tch… fine, you got me there." She grumbled. "So where the hell are these Ōgakari bastards anyway? I haven't been exactly diligent with my work since I got here."

The insomniac nodded. "Their compound is near the old Namikaze estate on the northern edge of town. It would be best to approach the building from the main path and knock on the front doors to get in, though. They have been… preparing for uninvited guests lately…" The boy almost shivered as he remembered what happened to Kankurō when he tried to spy on the clan. It took almost a week for the siblings to get his clothes fully unstuck from his body, and another for the smell to go away. Needless to say, the puppeteer didn't try the it again. "… other than that, just make sure to bring your patience with you. They are not exactly… mature."

Fū deadpanned. "Soooo they're elite jōnin, then?" She asked, fully aware of how messed up shinobi become as they approach the higher ranks. Regardless of whether the shinobi came from a major or minor village, the strong ones would always be a bit off in one way or another.

Gaara blinked several times before sighing to himself. "…yes, but from what I've heard they were naturally quite… strange, before they obtained that rank… much like Eight, from what I've heard… something about constantly speaking in bad musical lyrics…"

"I'll take your word for it." She sweat dropped before maintaining composure again. "So, I'm guessing that being seen together is not exactly the best thing for us right now, since you came to me in this back road instead of knocking on my apartment door."

Gaara nodded. "I am under close observation by my team at the moment, and I just by chance saw you walking by several minutes ago. To be frank, I must get back to them or their suspicions will be raised…"

Fū raised an eyebrow. "A bit high strung, aren't they? I thought Suna and Konoha were allies. Why would they be like that?"

Gaara closed his eyes before putting on a serious face… or what would be a serious face if he had adequate control over his facial expressions… really, at the moment he was physically capable of only doing 'mildly interested', 'pissed off', or 'psychotic murderer'.

"… all your questions will be answered at the meeting before the exams… 'til then it would be best if you did not say any more…"

o. o. o.

Inside the Hokage's Tower:

Three aged shinobi laughed heartedly as they traded stories about their youths, each with a faint blush on their faces and a large amount of sake in their hands. If a civilian or a low-level shinobi were to walk into the room at that very moment, they would assume that they were under the influence of an extremely powerful and twisted genjutsu and claim that there would be impossible for the leaders of Iwa and Konoha to be in the same room and laughing as if they were old friends… then they would double their efforts when they realized that all of the men in the room were certifiably grade A perverts.

"My god! So THAT's what happened to Koharu during that solo mission?!" Sarutobi laughed as Ōnoki finished telling his latest story. "No wonder she treated Jiraiya like shit that year!"

Ōnoki smirked perversely. "I still have the pictures if you want. Your teammate was quite the looker back in the day…"

Sarutobi chuckled as he raised his hand and shook his head. "No, no. I'm fine with just knowing about what happened. Lord knows what would happen if someone actually FOUND them in my possession… although it would be pretty funny to see everyone's reactions when I tell them who it was they were looking at…" His blush grew. "… Besides… it's not like my departed wife never gave me any, ahem… gifts in my youth, either…"

Rōshi laughed loudly with a smile on his face. "Ah, Hiruzen! You always did have interesting luck with women! Hell, you practically raised the strongest lass in the Elemental Nations!"

Sarutobi snorted. "Yeah, along with the greatest pervert in the elemental nations! Don't try and hide the fact that both of you were going to try and get some autographs while you were here."

"Why would I?" Ōnoki responded indignantly. "What's wrong with being a pervert?! The women should be flattered that men as powerful and influential as us admire their bodies so much!"

"Here, here!" Rōshi agreed with his bottle above his head before taking another swig. "A toast to Saru for supplying this delicious booze! You don't know how hard it is to get good sake from the Land of Water for us."

The Hokage chuckled. "It's my pleasure, Rōshi. Just make sure not to get too plastered. I still get nightmares of the last time you decided to see how far you could unleash your stomach. To answer your question, Ōnoki, if you're too much of a pervert, you won't be able to settle down with a single woman. To be honest, I have no idea how I could have managed this long as Hokage if I didn't have my family there to back me up…"

"Speaking of which, I heard your son was a member of the Twelve Guardian Ninja a few years ago." Rōshi mused. "That's pretty impressive. How is he now… um…"

"Asuma." Hiruzen sighed. "He's doing quite well, actually. He's started a relationship with one of my other jōnin, although he is trying to hide it pretty poorly if you ask me, and two of the genin he's training are actually in the upcoming exams. My grandson Konohamaru is looking forward to the matches greatly as well."

"Humph!" Ōnoki snorted with a cocky grin, trying not to let out that he was a bit jealous of his longtime rival. "You're soft as always, Sarutobi! I lasted just as long as you in office without that kind of support, and I ended up just fi…" Snap. "Oh fuck, my hip!"

Rōshi sighed. "Sit down, Ōnoki, before you kill yourself and start the Fourth Shinobi War… you stupid old fart."

"Who are you calling old!?" Ōnoki roared defiantly as he pointed accusingly at the red haired old man.

"You." Rōshi replied without looking before drinking out of the bottle again. The man mentally giggled as he noted that his temporary boss never did deny the stupid part.

"I could have you publicly executed, you know!" Ōnoki growled, starting to make some seals…

"Gentlemen!" Hiruzen shouted a bit frantically, "Please! We are here for peaceful reasons… I hope…"

"Says the man who's hosting the current substitution for war in his village…" Grumbled Ōnoki as he sat down with a pout.

"Ah, who are you kidding, Ōnoki? The Exams are the reason why we're here in the first place." Rōshi rasped out as he started to sway with dull eyes, holding a now empty sake bottle. "Especially that blonde brat that's a jinchūriki… wut's his name again? Nar…colepsy?" He stared dully at Hiruzen, who had sobered up dramatically and completely ignored Ōnoki's furious gaze. He made a mental note to do another check for Iwa spies in the village after the invasion.

"That is… a very steep accusation you are making…" The Hokage stated darkly while glaring at his two guests.

"Ah, don't get your panties in a bunch, Hiruzen. We pretty much figured out that the brat's related to Namikaze in some way. Born on the 10th, blonde hair, blue eyes, whisker marks, slit eyes, huge chakra reserves, shitty childhood, plus it doesn't hurt that the kid actually looks exactly like him. Honestly, it wasn't hard to figure out when we finally paid attention to all of the details…" He swayed dangerously as he tried to put on a serious composure and failed miserably.

"Bah! I personally don't care one bit what happens to the brat, but old Ōnoki here wants to make sure that he isn't going to go nuts on us one day. It's bad enough when a normal shinobi goes rogue, but when a jinchūriki does, let alone one that could learn… learn… whatever the hell that bloody technique was called, I don't even want to know how much crap he could stir up. Plus, it doesn't help that half of Iwa still pops a freaking blood vessel every time they hear Namikaze's name. After all it would practically be the end of us all if the kid started to act out and everything…" He hiccupped as he turned to Ōnoki completely ignoring the glares of death that the Tsuchikage was giving him. "… and then there's that bitch that you decided to let come on the trip. For god's sake, Ōnoki, what the hell were you thinking? I'll bet my collection of Icha-Icha that she'll throw your orders in the toilet as soon as she sees the boy and try to plug him full of kunai!"

Despite how serious the situation was at the moment, the drunken Leaf ruler couldn't help but laugh at that comment. "Huh! I doubt whoever you are talking about will have much luck. It would take at least 3 squads of ANBU constantly throwing any and everything at the boy to actually hit him, especially after I saw him deal with that fiasco in the secret kunoichi baths…" He paused as he noticed the wide eyes of Rōshi and Ōnoki. The two would probably note that he had pretty much confirmed their suspicions in a few minutes, but something else was taking precedence in their minds as they both started to bleed from their noses.

"My god… the springs exist?!" Ōnoki whispered, completely forgetting the fact that he was supposed to be on the verge of first degree murder at the moment.

"I have heard tales of them… but for a male to actually lay eyes on them… and to live to tell the tale… with every part of his body intact…" Rōshi slurred. "The legendary hot springs where Konoha kunoichi bathe nude in their wondrous and healthy forms… you've been holding out on us, Saru…"

Sarutobi blinked as he realized that he had just bought himself some time to figure out how to get out of the current mess he was in thanks to all three of them having made a good percentage of their blood flammable over the past two hours. He thanked the Log for the fact that the pair in front of him developed incredibly short attention spans when inebriated. If he guessed right, he had roughly three minutes to pull some sort of plan out of his ass in order to prevent another war from happening…

"I like this kid already… do you think he has any pictures?" Ōnoki giggled perversely.

The comment sparked a great… and potentially lethal idea for Sarutobi. Even in his drunk stupor, he could already tell that Naruto's heritage and position were pretty much compromised to Rōshi and Ōnoki… but that did not mean that it was known to the entirety of Iwa. "Does…" Hiruzen started to ask, trying to pick his words carefully. "… Does anyone else know what you know?"

Rōshi snorted as he started to sway. Despite being a jinchūriki, the red-haired man seemed to have trouble holding in his alcohol after his third bottle. "Bah! As if! If anyone else knew, the brat probably would have been killed by some fanatic by now… or at least assaulted." He burped. "Nah, only Ōnoki and I have put the pieces together back home… but there've been all sorts of rumors about some mini-Minato running around Konoha in Iwa these days. It wouldn't be the first time something like that's happened. I give it 6 months this time, as long as no one says anything stupid…"

Ōnoki snorted. "Humph. What my loose lipped… companion said is correct. Even if the brat was Minato's kid, I wouldn't do anything as long as he doesn't pose a threat to us. If I did, we would have another war going on, and I have enough pains in my ass as it is. Paperwork during war…" He and Sarutobi shivered heavily as they tried to purge the horrible memories from their heads. A punishment neither men would desire on even their worst enemies.

Sarutobi put on a serious and thoughtful look on his face. "Hmm, this is indeed quite a situation we are in right now… perhaps we can come to a compromise to ensure that neither one of us is trying to take advantage of the other…"

"Eh?" Ōnoki mused as he raised an eyebrow. "A compromise involving jinchūriki? These are some pretty high stakes, Saru."

The Hokage grinned happily, but anyone with a mean streak would be able to tell that there was also pure evil in there as well. It was payback time for the blonde for all the times he forced the old man to deal with the pranks the brat had pulled over the past year and a half. "Oh, there will, trust me…"

Rōshi blinked as he stared at the chuckling Hokage. "Oi Saru, you might want to cut down on the drinks. That laugh of yours is getting pretty creepy…"

o. o. o.

Konoha's gates:

Izumo and Kotetsu were having a grand old time at the main entrance of Konoha. Despite what people think, there actually was a worse time to have gate duty than when nothing was happening, and that was when nobility and important figures of other countries arrived. The week before the Chūnin Exams, about 1500 people per day on average enter the village, and the gate guards are the ones that are stuck doing all the paperwork while everyone else partied.

Their only bonus to this was that they were aware and met with said influential members of society, meaning that there was a chance they could get a small political boost if they did a good job and get a bonus for all their hard work, which wasn't really unheard of.

Another interesting boon was that the Ōgakari's dragon was lazily circling the entrance, occasionally diving right into the middle of the caravans and scaring the living crap out of everyone there who wasn't used to her presence already. There had even been a couple of instances where the small flying reptile actually stole the headgear of one of the guards entering the village and let itself be chased for small distances for fun, squeaking happily and causing many people to laugh much to the victim's dismay. Once in a while, it would also perform some impressive aerial acrobatics… several inches above the heads of spectators. More than once she would even dive into the crowd and somehow fly full speed through the mass of people without hitting anyone before ascending with a flair. Needless to say, she was gaining plenty of fans and was a bit of an attention whore.

"Lucky damn lizard." Grumbled Izumo as he took the visitors papers for yet another Daimyō. "Doing nothing but flying all the freaking time…"

"I am curious." Mused the messenger he was talking to, who was from Suna. "Whose summon is that? I don't believe I have ever heard of a dragon contract before."

Kotetsu shook his head. "That's not a summon. That's an actual dragon demon. She belongs to the Ōgakari clan. You can tell by the attempts she is making to gain attention. Subtle is not really part of their vocabulary… and we're pretty sure that sanity isn't, either."

The envoy sweat dropped as he watched the dragon swoop by the Kazekage's carriage and circled a few times before weaving expertly between the carriers several times and taking off again. "I must admit, it is quite an impressive sight. Does this clan by chance have any other of these dragons? I have no doubt that my betters would jump at the chance to own one."

Izumo shook his head. "Nope, that's the only one they have, and I doubt that they would get rid of it any time soon, regardless of the price. Plus, for your own safety, I wouldn't call her a pet within her hearing range. I heard the last time someone made that mistake, a special jōnin was rushed to the hospital with 2nd degree burns and scratches all over his face. She's actually quite smart if the rumors are true…"

As the guards went throughout their duty, Zuzushi lazily flew in circles around the entrance a few more times before flying to a building halfway across town, where Jiraiya was waiting lazily with his arms propped up behind the guard railings. "So…" He grumbled as the dragoness landed next to him. "Did the bastard come?"

Zuzushi didn't make a noise as her fiery dark pink eyes made eye contact with the sage and nodded once.

Jiraiya smirked. "Good."

o. o. o.

At a nearby park:

Shikamaru sighed as he laid down on a hill and stared at the clouds passing by over his head. After being stuck in a giant room in the ground, being savagely 'trained' by someone who was easily one of the most troublesome people in all of existence, it felt great to get outside and relax. He had no doubt that what he learned made him one of the most efficient and downright lethal shinobi in Konoha, but doing high level missions was too troublesome, so he would probably still hide a good portion of his skills for now.

Next to him, Chōji was eating potato chips like his life depended on it. The food that the genin were served was by no means bad, in fact it was better most of the time than what they got at home, but there were rarely any conventional snacks lying around or time to munch on them for that matter. Most of the time, it was wake up, warm up, light breakfast, evil training, lunch, break, even more evil training, dinner, studying, and finally extremely evil training until you pass out. The Nara was surprised that everyone down there actually survived the ordeal down there with so few scars.

"Chōji, slow down with the chips." Shikamaru grumbled. "The training is done already. You can relax now…"

Chōji nervously looked at his best friend before swallowing. "It's not that, Shika…" He grumbled. "I'm more worried about… what you're worried about…"

Shikamaru sighed as he understood what his friend was saying. The Nara had spent nearly every waking moment training during the past month, and what little free time he had was spent with Scabbard learning how to use the special command room in the Hokage's tower in order to navigate the village's forces during the invasion. There was actually a secret passageway from the Ōgakari clan compound to the Hokage's tower that less than a handful of people knew about, and it was so well hidden that unless you knew what to look for, you would never find it. He even guessed that a dōjutsu user would not be able to find the room even if they tried. Right now, he needed the down time so that his head wouldn't overheat during the invasion. "Chōji, it's too troublesome to worry about that stuff now, and it won't do us any good to lose sleep over it." He moaned. "If it makes you feel any better, all of our dads know about it, so quit panicking like that and relax already."

Chōji blinked before slumping his shoulders in defeat. "I'll try Shika, but I won't make any promises…"

Shikamaru smirked. "Kind of like how you claimed that you would tell Ino about your crush on her, right?"

Chōji blushed. "Hey, that's not fair Shika! You know I'm not good with girls!"

"I believe it's been, what, about a year since you made that claim?" Shikamaru grinned, ignoring his friend's protests. "… and I thought you would have gotten to it too, after the way you've been handling yourself on missions lately. From a friend's perspective, you actually look pretty good for a 13 year old." He smirked as he made one last push. "Plus, I heard from Naruto that Sasuke and Sakura are finally warming up to each other, if you understand what I'm saying." And now for the final blow. "How hard can it be? After all, you managed to survive being the giant soccer ball for the Ōgakari that one time, so how much worse can this be?"

Chōji paled as he remembered his horrible experience being punted around by just about every insane person in the training area, including Gai and Lee, for an entire day. The poor boy didn't attempt to escape due to the fact that if he timed it wrong, he would be punted outside of his inflated and rubber style form… and most likely get killed. It took the boy over 5 days to recover from that experience and put on the necessary poundage in order to do his family's techniques again safely. "… why did you have to bring up those horrible memories?"

"To remind you that there are very few things worse than that, and I doubt being turned down by Ino is one of them." Shikamaru replied. "You're really over thinking things. Women are really troublesome, but they aren't scary…"

Shikamaru's lecture was interrupted by a desperate and hysterical scream. "I HATE MY LIIIIFFFFEEE! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PERVERTS IN ITTTTT?!" The two boys turned their attention to the source of the screaming, which, given the subject of the screaming, was unsurprisingly Naruto. However, what was of interest was that he was holding a camera for dear life, and right behind him were several dozen extremely pissed off kunoichi wielding as many implements of pain and death as possible with what seemed like an extremely giddy Shinigami hovering above them, all screaming for the blonde's death. The boys, as well as everyone else within hearing distance, watched the spectacle with interest as the two sides screamed about various topics before disappearing into another part of town.

"… aren't THAT scary before they reach special jōnin at least…" Shikamaru corrected himself as he ignored Chōji's pale demeanor. "Which only means you should ask her now, before she really does become something you should cower from."

Chōji gulped heavily as he took his friend's words to heart.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari clan backyard:

Music echoed as everyone who spent time training underneath the compound partied and danced to their hearts content… well, aside from Naruto, who was still recovering from the vicious mauling that he had received from the women of Konoha after they had finally caught him. The camera had been passed on long before he was caught, but it did nothing to prevent the boy from getting maimed in many painful ways. Even Hinata gave the poor blonde a disapproving look after she had found out what the boy had did, even though she thought it was probably Ghost's fault in the first place… which it wasn't, oddly enough.

Ghost and Waltz were making dinner for everyone and Scabbard was the MC of the night, leaving Shadow to do the housework since she had lost in a game of Janken with Zuzushi. Zabuza was still the family's unofficial bitch, so he was stuck helping her, much to his disdain. Kakashi was busy reading yet another book while Gai was attempting to talk to him. Neji and Tenten were dancing, which drew a lot of eyes since Neji was not the type to do so. Also on the dance floor was surprisingly Crypt, who despite the lack of arms was proving himself to be quite an adept and flexible break dancer as he spun on several parts of his body smoothly and while keeping with the beat rather easily. Several feet away from them were Hana and Anko, also… dancing, and drawing many eyes. Sasuke and Sakura were sitting at a table and talking to each other with small grins on their faces, much to Ino's displeasure.

This was the main reason why Chōji was several steps away from the girl, but still near her, and pondering if he should wait till after the Exams to ask her out. Near them, but hidden behind a moderately strong genjutsu were Kurenai and Asuma, making out around the corner of the house. Obviously, they had forgotten that genjutsu didn't work on Ghost, and the man was planning to use the pictures he had taken as blackmail later. Kiba was pigging out by the snack bar and laughing with Shino and Haku, who were trying their hardest to enjoy the loud boy's company. Shikamaru was sleeping in a lounge chair, somehow managing to tune out the loud music at some point, and next to him was Naruto, still in a half body cast as punishment for taking pictures of the women in the jōnin baths, weeping as Hinata played hard to get a few feet away from him. The two had to downplay some of the words they used since no one was supposed to know they were going out yet, so at the moment it simply looked like Naruto was just sad that one of his friends was not talking to him and accusing him of being a pervert, which actually worked.

The party had been going on for several hours now and was made as an apology to everyone for the chaos the clan had put them through in their training, as well as to let off some steam before the Exams… and the invasion, to those who knew it was coming… except for Zabuza, but he would get his release in a different way in a few days.

As Ghost started to clean up after the guests, a timer went off in the kitchen. "Oi Midget! The timer went off!"

"About damn time!" Shadow roared as she ran up from the basement with Zuzushi on her shoulder and dashed outside. "Oi whiskers! I need you downstairs!"

Naruto turned to Shadow with a raised eyebrow. "Already?!"

"Did I stutter? Get your maimed ass down here before Hinata actually does get a handicap during your fight in a couple of days!" Shadow replied.

"Fine…" Grumbled the blonde as he picked himself up and walked to the building. His wounds had actually healed already, but he was trying to at least score some sympathy points with Hinata after she found out what he had done. It wasn't that she was against Naruto doing anything perverted, far from it actually, but she couldn't stand the fact that he had taken pictures of naked women that didn't include her in some way. Weeping anime tears, the blonde walked inside the house, taking one good look at Hinata before entering.

Hinata was looking away at the time, but actually had her bloodline activated as Naruto walked away, and smiling to herself as she secretly… observed some of Naruto's body parts.

"Stop staring at his ass already… troublesome girl…" Shikamaru groaned as he shifted over, startling the girl and causing her to blush intently.

Inside the building, Naruto followed Shadow through the basement levels until the pair reached a meeting room door. As Shadow opened it, the blonde saw four people inside sitting at a round table with dishes in front of them, and a couple looking like they just had a nasty headache.

"It's about time you guys got here." Gaara mused with his eyes closed. "Our friends have been getting a bit restless ever since they finally recovered."

"Recovered my ass brat!" Rōshi growled. "The last thing I remember is practically drowning while facing some freaky sword wielding shark man!"

"Same here!" Fū hissed. "I got taken out by some bitch that kept on turning into paper! When I get my hands on her…"

"Huh." Yugito growled. "That's nothing compared to me. I faced some kind of religious nut that wouldn't fucking die. After he drew some kind of seal on the ground, whatever I did to him happened to me! I ended up pinned to an upturned stone 10 feet in the air by my hands!"

"Bitches please." Shadow sighed as she sat at the head of the table and propped her feet on top, much to the ire of everyone there. "Let us all just calm down and discuss the situation here. First off, I believe we have some introductions to make. Mr. One, if you would please?" Shadow turned to Gaara.

The insomniac sighed. "My name is Gaara of the Desert. I contain the one-tailed raccoon-dog. Before I came back to this time, I was the Fifth Kazekage."

Yugito sighed. "My name is Yugito Nii. I contain the two-tailed cat. Before I died, I was an elite jōnin for Kumogakure."

Rōshi grumbled as he lounged back. "I guess I'm the old geezer here. The name's Rōshi and I have the four-tailed shit throwing monkey in me. I am and was back then… will be… whatever, a retired elite jōnin for Iwa."

Fū huffed. "My name is Fū and I'm have the seven-tailed beetle in me. When I was killed by those assholes, I was a jōnin for Takigakure."

"Taki had a jinchūriki?" Rōshi mused curiously. "Wow, I thought Kumo had that one."

Yugito shook her head. "No, we have the two and eight tailed beasts."

Naruto sighed as he took off some of his casts. "My name is Naruto Uzumaki and I have the nine-tailed fox in me. When I was finally captured I… was…" Naruto started to grumble in an embarrassed tone, much to Shadow's enjoyment.

"Awww, he's so embarrassed, isn't that cute folks?" The woman giggled evilly.

"Spit it out lad, we don't have all day." Rōshi grumbled.

"I was still a genin, okay!" Naruto shouted with a blush on his face. "I never got to take the Chūnin Exams after my first time because of all the crap with Akatsuki! For crying out loud! I must have been the only genin ever recorded that had gone up against and taken down multiple S-ranked missing-nin!" The boy ranted angrily, and it didn't take long for everyone else in the room to burst out laughing… or smirk in Gaara's case. "Oh, don't you DARE try to laugh at me, raccoon boy!" Naruto growled. "If I remember correctly, in my first fight with you, I stuck a kunai with an exploding tag up your ass! Literally!"

Rōshi burst out laughing as the smirk on Gaara's face dropped. Yugito was having trouble keeping herself steady and Fū was pounding on the table hard. "This!" Rōshi gasped. "This is priceless! I don't even need to use names! The boys back home will eat this shit up!"

"An exploding kunai in the ass!" Choked out Fū.

"He's probably the first person to sodomize a Kage with shinobi tools… hell, Gaara is probably the first Kage to get wounded in the ass." Sniggered Yugito.

"You better hope that you don't face me in the Exams, Uzumaki…" Gaara growled coldly to Naruto.

Naruto smirked. "Bring it on, Gaara. I won't even need Gamabunta's help to kick your ass this time…"

Rōshi wiped a tear off his cheek before he calmed down enough to talk again. "Whoo… wait, I thought Gamabunta was the name of Jiraiya's strongest toad summon?"

"Third strongest." Shadow corrected. "And the kid can summon him because he was Jiraiya's apprentice."

"Hoh?" Rōshi mused. "Like father like son, I suppose."

Yugito raised an eyebrow as Naruto swallowed heavily. "Like father like son? But the only known toad summoners were Jiraiya and…" Her eyes widened as she turned to Naruto. "… no way… you're his son?!"

Fū looked at Yugito dumbly. "What are you talking about? The only other person who could have summoned toads other than Jiraiya was the 4th Hoka…ge… holy shit."

Gaara frowned as he turned to Naruto, who was currently trying to make himself as small as possible. "I was unaware of your lineage, Naruto… tell me, why did you not inform me of it?"

Naruto groaned. "Give me a break, Gaara. I didn't even freaking know who my dad was until I went nuts with the Kyūbi's power when I was fighting Pain… that's the current leader of Akatsuki." Naruto added as he turned to the three unknowing jinchūriki. "He had the Rinnegan, so needless to say I had my work cut out for me."

"What the hell is the Rinnegan?" Fū asked.

"It was the dōjutsu of the Sage of Six Paths." Yugito answered. "Normally I wouldn't believe it, but since I got taken down by a guy that could turn himself into a voodoo doll, I'll keep quiet for now."

"ANYWAYS…" Naruto continued. "I kept quiet because I wanted to get recognition for what I did, not what my dad did… plus, it would have just made things more complicated with Madara still after me and all the crap that was happening." He sighed. "Although it would have been nice actually knowing who my parents were growing up."

"Wait… back up." Rōshi grumbled. "Did you say Madara?"

"If you are thinking of Madara Uchiha, then yes, you are correct." Shadow answered for the man. "The fucker is still alive and he's your final boss… unless, of course, he finds some way to wake up the Ten Tails without capturing your beasts…"

"Wait. Back up." Yugito sighed as she felt another headache coming. "There's a Ten Tails? Isn't Madara Uchiha supposed to be one of Konoha's founders? What the hell is going on?" She then turned to Shadow. "And who the hell are you? Your clan is supposed to be responsible for this whole mess, but you haven't even explained who you are!"

"Same here!" Fū growled. "I just came here to get some damn info, and I get stuck on some fucking future conspiracy with some other freaks."

Rōshi just shrugged. "Don't mind me, I'm just here for some dirty pictures."

"IT WAS YOUUUU!" Naruto roared as he flared his fox talons in a bloody rage. He would have gutted the man if Gaara didn't capture the blonde in his sand.

Shadow sighed as chaos erupted in the room. To be honest, she wanted to get some rest before the invasion, and she had a bit of a headache from all the chaos she had started during the party… so she guessed she had to stop the merry making for now. She didn't really like to show her serious side in general. It made her feel old.

With her eyes turning ice blue, Shadow focused her Presence to notable levels. The people in the room froze as they felt as if they were in the presence of something similar to a bijū and turned to the woman. Shadow smirked as she let her oppressive intent die down. "Since you asked so nicely and don't want to screw around, I'll oblige by taking you all seriously myself. My name is Shadow Ōgakari, and in some circles, I am known as the Second Origin. This adorable living purse right here…" She petted the dragon on her shoulder, "Is Zuzushi… also known in many places as the Sky Mother…" Her grin grew as she noted that Yugito, Fū, Rōshi and Gaara seemed to be contacted by their inner beasts, and saw their reactions when they were warned about how dangerous she really was… or that they were wondering why their bijū were screaming in denial. Either way, it was interesting to watch several of their eyebrows twitch as if they were arguing with themselves. Raising her Presence again to gain all of their attention, the woman crossed her arms. "Now that I have your undivided attention, I believe we should talk about what we shall all be doing these next few years…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

So The third round is next chapter… though I doubt it will be long enough to get to the invasion.

I'm probably going to go over some of my earlier chapters and rewrite them so that they are easier to read and flow better… so the next ch. Might not be up for a couple of weeks.

Ugh. Finals are coming up next week for me. God, I hate Signals 2 (I'm an electrical engineer undergraduate, so numbers are quickly becoming my pet peeve.).

I don't know why, but I've been seeing a lot of Naruto/Kushina fics lately… what the hell is it with people and incest fics? Honestly? I mean, my grandfather's parents were cousins… or second cousins… or something like that, and forced into an arranged marriage. You know what happened? He was born with a spine condition and two deformed fingers that left him a hunchback for his entire life. Seriously, this stuff just creeps me out… and I came up with Crypt for god's sake.

Anyways, worship the log, draw, review, and don't have sex with relatives… and review.


	38. Epic awesomenessnessness…ness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 38: Epic awesomenessnessness…ness

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Gaara quietly landed in front of his hotel door. The boy was tired, even by his standards. The meeting at the Ōgakari clan compound had lasted much longer than anticipated, as there were many questions being asked and plans being made for after the Exams, since meetings between many of the members would not be possible for a long time. It didn't help when the three new members realized that this was the Chūnin Exams that Suna and Oto joined forces and attempted to invade Konoha.

There was a discussion on what should be done in case information needed to be passed quickly between members, and what should happen if people involved needed to gather in an emergency. It was decided that Fū and Rōshi would work to be assigned as a diplomats to Konoha. Fū was never wanted back at her home village as is, plus she would have a letter of recommendation from Sarutobi by the end of the month. In Rōshi's case, it was even easier, because he was retired. Getting any kind of position would be fairly simple, given his influence and his rocky (A/N: Hahahaha! It's a pun!) relationship with Ōnoki.

Yugito, on the other hand, was a bit more difficult to solve since she was a highly valued member of Kumo's ranks and they doubted that the Raikage would simply leave a powerful shinobi like herself in another village for extended periods of time. In the end, they decided to that since they'd need the Raikage's knowing cooperation to establish a more permanent solution, she would simply keep in touch with he group via Scabbard's spy network.

In addition to contact information, Rōshi and Yugito were tasked with spreading word of the group to Han and Bee when they arrived back in their countries, although Han would be kept in the dark about a few facts due to him being part of the unofficial Namikaze genocide club in Iwa. Han & Bee would, unfortunately, not receive their memories any time soon, since the remaining two links had to stay with Naruto for important reasons, but both messengers assured the remaining members of the group that they would make sure that the two soon-to-be members would keep their mouths shut.

Gaara looked down at his right arm to see the special tattoo that he had received at the end of the meeting. Listed from left to right were the black characters for 1,2,4,7 and 9, with spaces for the other numbers in between. All of the jinchūriki at the meeting had one, and it definitely had its uses. The ink was all connected to each other via a special set of seals that fed off of demonic energy. If the bearer of the marks was having his or her bijū removed, the respective number on the other member's arms would start to tingle and turn red, as well as give them a faint feeling of where the endangered member was. If the bearer died, the mark would become a black outline of its original self. Also, if bearers of the marks were within a certain distance of each other, the marks would notify them. Finally, the marks could be passed on to other carriers via exchanging a small amount of blood between them, which is how Han and Bee were going to get their marks, which would then automatically transfer their numbers to the others shortly afterwards.

The redhead sighed as he opened the door to the hotel, knowing that the night was still far from over for him… and just when he was starting to get used to the whole, close your eyes and you'll eventually fall unconscious process too.

"Where have you been?" Baki growled before the door had even opened half way. "The… Exams are less than a day away, and you are wandering the village as if it doesn't even matter. Don't forget that Suna is depending on your performance…"

Gaara stared at his sensei with disinterested eyes as he walked into the room and closed the door behind him while taking out a scroll. Yugito and Rōshi weren't the only ones with things to do after the meeting, after all. "I believe you would be interested in this…" The future Kazekage droned before tossing it to Baki.

Baki caught the scroll and looked at it carefully before widening his eyes in shock when he recognized the wax seal holding it together. "This is…! But how did you…?! How did she…?" He stuttered as he stared at Gaara.

The boy sighed. "I have had a long day… could you get to reading the damn thing already?"

The turban wearing man shakily nodded as he verified the maker and integrity of the small, emblem-embossed wax seal holding the scroll shut using a small and highly classified jutsu. This jutsu, which interfaced with the seals hidden within the emblem and was only used to verify messages of the highest priority and secrecy, confirmed the sender and showed that the scroll had not been tampered with or opened since it was sealed. Hands shaking nervously despite his training, Baki opened the scroll and looked at the contents. It took less than 30 seconds before the man was stuttering out gibberish again, this time waking up Temari.

"Ugh. Baki-sensei. Can you keep it down? Do you honestly know what time it is? I know that Gaara doesn't sleep, but that doesn't mean that you can be as loud as you want…" The blonde yawned as she stuck her head into the room.

"R-Right…" Baki stuttered, not trusting his voice at the moment. Temari blinked lazily at the man before shrugging, thinking that Gaara must have threatened to kill him again, before closing her door and going back to bed.

"… I suggest you do what the letter says…" Gaara droned as he walked to his bedroom door.

"Did…" Baki whispered slowly. "Did you know of this?"

Gaara looked at his teacher and closed his eyes, looking far older than he was supposed to be. "…Regardless of whether it happened or not, I wouldn't have gone through with my part in the first place… make sure to tell our forces that when you meet with them…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere else in Konoha:

Inside the Kazekage's private chamber, Orochimaru chuckled to himself. He had finished his last meeting with the leading general of Suna's forces earlier that day, and according to him, things were going according to plan. He had no doubt that his own forces would be in position when the time came. Their loyalty to him was only outmatched by their fear, and he made sure to frequently let them know what happened to those that got on his less-than-pleased side.

Right now, though, he was talking to the shinobi he had picked for taking out the Ōgakari clan. In front of him were 15 shinobi, each one with a Cursed Seal that enabled them to go to the second level. They were split into groups of three to take down each clan member. Under most circumstances, this would seem a bit overkill, even by the Sannin's standards, but he was taking no chances this time. He had taken far more damage than he was comfortable with in the Forest of Death, and something about the young looking assassin rubbed him the wrong way.

"You all have your targets… do not disappoint me." Orochimaru hissed as he glared at the monstrosities. Many of them couldn't even think straight, and were at best trained wild animals, but they were strong enough to even give jōnin a rough time by themselves. Putting three against a single person… well, Orochimaru was more than certain that at least half of the clan would perish by the end of the Exams.

With a series of grunts, the killers disappeared, biding their time until the invasion started. This was such a rare occasion, after all…

"They seem eager…" Chuckled Kabuto as he walked from behind some shadows. "… I can't say I blame them. With abilities like theirs and the conditions we keep them in, it is rare that they are allowed to cut loose…"

Orochimaru smirked. "Indeed. Be sure to note down anything of interest during the invasion. I want to see their effects on their opponents… both physically and psychologically…"

"As you will, Orochimaru-sama…" Kabuto bowed.

"Have you sent my other orders to the remaining forces?" The Sannin chuckled dryly. His throat still wasn't fully recovered from Sasuke's stunt in the forest, so he couldn't laugh as much as he wanted to without developing a scratchy larynx.

"I have done as you asked, and the targets are known throughout all our forces. Should they encounter any one of them, they are to be eliminated without question." The spy replied with a small grin. To be honest, some of the targets intrigued him, and he wouldn't mind seeing what they would be capable of doing later. However, orders were orders, and he would not let his curiosity get him killed.

"… and your task?" The disguised body stealer asked.

The light reflected off of Kabuto's glasses, obscuring anyone from seeing his eyes. "It is on schedule, and I plan to carry it out entirely during the invasion…"

o. o. o.

Outside the Ōgakari clan compound:

"So you guys know what to do?" Ghost mumbled as he kissed Hana on the cheek affectionately while Anko got her equipment together.

"Yep. You don't need to worry about us, lover boy." Anko chuckled.

"Who said I'm worried?" Ghost snorted. "You two are easily among the most dangerous women I have ever associated with, plus you're gonna have Zabuza and Midget with you. I'm more concerned that you guys will go overboard and have too much fun."

"Aww, you're just too shy to admit it." Hana mocked sweetly as she kissed the man back. "You don't have to say anything, Ghost-kun. We'll be all right…"

"You better, Hana. Your mom threatened to castrate me with Kuromaru's nail clippers if anything happened to you, and from what I saw and smelled, those things haven't been cleaned in YEARS." Ghost shivered.

"Oooh. That gives me an idea for our next kinky sex time!" Anko said in a giddy tone as she walked past Ghost and slapped his ass.

"Tell me about it on the way to our waiting point, I want to see how I can twist it into something that will make Ghost cry at night." Shadow smirked as she walked out from behind a tree.

"You don't need to do anything. Sister. Your presence alone is enough for me and everyone else in the family to wail to the gods in anguish." Ghost sighed before turning back to the house. "I gotta get some things ready myself, so go on ahead. Just make sure to not do anything _too_ stupid."

"Thanks for that piece of information. Now I know which one of you guys to run to first when Sparky comes to collect on my debts." Zabuza chuckled as he walked out of the building in full gear, his modified executioner's blade on his back, passing Ghost in the doorway. The four wasted no time immediately jumping through the trees to their waiting point before they resumed their conversation.

"No can do, wrappers. Scab has all of us by the nads when it comes to money, so you're on your own." The pink clad girl chuckled. "So then, do we have everything, guys? We have all our exploding tags and our radios?"

"This isn't my first time fighting a war, girlie." Zabuza growled as he showed his pouch stuffed with tags and kunai, plus the earpiece on his head. "Let's just get started already, I haven't killed anything in months, and I'm starting to get all twitchy. I'm tired of all these dry runs with my sword. I want to test it out on something that actually dies when I hit it…"

"Easy, big boy. You'll be a mass murderer again soon enough; just wait a few more hours." Hana sighed as she scratched one of her triplets behind the ears.

"So we wait for Scab's signal before we move, right?" Anko asked curiously.

Shadow nodded. "Yes, and the dragon's roar will tell us when the enemy plays their hand."

"The dragon's roar?" Zabuza asked curiously. "For some reason, I doubt that tiny little thing can be heard all over the village."

Shadow smirked. She had left Zuzushi with Ghost again since her presence would no doubt be highly desired at the stadium… seriously, who could resist wanting to see a live dragon? However… "Why Zabuza, why ever do you think that Zuzushi will be the one doing the roar?"

o. o. o.

Radio transmission to all Konoha ANBU and elite jōnin:

"Hellllloooooo, Konoha! This is your resident genius Scabbard Ōgakari here, bringing you the latest in Konoha's news."

"Today's the day, folks! The Chūnin Exam finals are here, and what a show it will be… but there's more to today than that, my friends. For those of you who are out of the loop, our dear friend Orochimaru made a surprise visit during the second round, with a message to keep up the Exams or else. Or else what? We have no idea… or do we? It seems as if our rogue Sannin has been busy creating a new village these past few years. A little place that he calls Otogakure, and he's planning on invading us today, alongside our would-be allies in Suna. But this is where it gets juicy, my friends. Not even a day ago, our bastard buddies from the desert turned on Sound when they found out some rather disturbing news, and gave us all the locations where the Sound morons are positioning themselves, both in and outside of the village. Isn't that going to be a kick in the nuts when the Sound finally find out."

"So here's the important part, my fine comrades. I have set up a special room somewhere in Konoha that allows me to have a constant view of the village… and those radios you are wearing show me exactly where you are and how you're doing, so you guys are going to get constant feedback on how you and your buddies are doing the entire invasion from yours truly. If someone needs help, I'll send it. If a group is wiped out, I'll know who is available and who isn't in range to pick up the slack. So listen up, guys, because I'm about to say who goes where in order to give you guys the drop on the Sound forces."

"Oh, and a couple of side notes before you guys get going. Don't worry about the old geezer in the funny hat. We have that covered. Don't attack the Suna shinobi unless they attack you first. There may be a few morons in the bunch, or they might not have heard about the double betrayal, so keep on your guard. Also, I'm going to be participating in the fight myself, so I've set up a decent sub in my place. Listen to him, boys and girls, 'cause the kid is _good_ , and that's putting it lightly."

"For all you ROOT guys out there listening to this - and I know you are -, don't even bother trying to find this place. You won't find it, you can't open the front door without knowing how - and even if you did somehow get in, you won't know how to use the shit here -, and I've rigged it to blow up faster than a civilian council member's ego if you press the wrong button, let alone turn it on the wrong way, so don't even bother. Besides, we need permission from the old monkey to use the room in the first place, so it's not like we can use it that often anyways."

"Finally, when the shit finally hits the fan, folks, you'll hear a dragon's roar. Trust me, you'll know it when you hear it. That's your signal to go nuts. Now about those locations…"

Waltz stared at Scabbard as he started to organize the elite forces of Konoha into position. No matter how many times he saw it, Scabbard's personality change whenever he got on a microphone was almost as bizarre as when Crypt switched from his standard childlike crazy fits to full blown blood mongering archdemon…

o. o. o.

Inside Naruto's apartment:

Our resident hero groaned as he started to wake up. While everything was still blurry, he made out two body-like shapes next to him before one of them disappeared quickly. "Ugh…" The boy groaned intelligently as he sat himself up and turned to see Ghost sitting next to him on a chair with a bucket in hand. The two stared at each other for several seconds. "You wouldn't dare…" Naruto growled.

And thus he was proven wrong again as Ghost dumped said bucket of ice water on his head, causing the boy to scream in surprise and rage. All in all, it was the beginning of another normal morning for the two as they proceeded to maim each other before calming down and making a decent breakfast.

"So…" Mumbled Naruto as he finished shoving down the last piece of toast into his mouth while the pair walked to the arena. "How are things turning out?"

Ghost sighed as he stretched his limbs. He was dressed in his normal attire, but there was a small change that Naruto noted. His trench coat had a silver grey Konoha symbol on the back, but instead of written in a line fashion, the mark was done in a tie dye style much like his own sweater. "Meh." He replied. "Everything's going as planned. Don't worry about it. If something important was happening, you'd be one of the first to know. Just calm down, relax, and wait for your match to come up so you can maim Hinata in front of everyone you know and will have to work for."

"Did you have to say that?" Naruto asked, now realizing that unlike before, he was actually going to fight the Hyūga heiress in front of a crowd. This would not do well for his public standing if he went too hard or rough on one of the few people that the village considered royalty.

"Yes." The man chuckled as he shifted his glasses… which was a code between the two of them that someone they don't know was stalking them. Naruto frowned as he expanded his senses before Ghost continued to talk. "Don't worry about it. As long as you don't go overboard and give the people a good show, no one should hold anything against you… well, no one that actually matters, anyway…"

Naruto sighed as he took note of his surroundings. Following them was a single ninja via the rooftops, a woman by the feel of it, and fairly strong at that. However she wasn't the only person that was taking notice of the pair, as a small group of individuals moved to block their path. ' _Here we go again.'_ "Can we help you?" Naruto sighed as he counted the number of people in the crowd in front of him.

"Quiet, brat…" Growled one of the villagers as he lifted a pitchfork. "You aren't going to fight in the Exams today…"

Naruto blinked before sticking his index finger in one of his ears. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that. I guess I'm not as fluent in stupid and crazy as I thought."

"No… you're pretty good in both. What he just spoke in is commonly known as retarded, which is a language you don't have as much experience in, unfortunately." Ghost commented sagely.

"We won't let you harm the Hyūga heiress, demon!" Shouted another mob member.

"Just wondering, how many of you guys actually bet on the match between blondie and mouse girl?" Ghost asked loudly. Several of the people in the mob flinched noticeably, much to the surprise of other members of the mob, and to Ghost's disappointment. "I thought so." He sighed before forming some seals. "Hey brat, did you know that there was going to be a public streaking today?"

Several of the mob members backed up as they saw Ghost making seals with no attempt to hide the fact he was doing so. "Wh-what are you doing?!" Shouted a mob member. "Using ninjutsu on civilians is a forbidden!"

Naruto smirked as he understood what Ghost was going to do, and ignoring the shouts of the frantic crowd. "No, I didn't, Ero-nii. You'd think that with all the Daimyō and important people here, they'd pick a better day to do such a thing so close to the arena. Then again, I'm not them, so I have no idea what screwed up thoughts happen in their heads."

"What are you talking about, you idiots? There aren't any strea…!" The man was cut off as Ghost finished his twelfth seal and the mob's clothes were instantly shredded to bits, leaving roughly 40 people standing in the nude in front of the sniggering pair.

"Hahaha! Too easy!" Ghost chuckled as the mob members started to scream their heads off.

"Ah… priceless." Naruto grinned as he took pictures of said members running away as they tried to cover themselves and swore revenge. "God, I love blackmail."

"Indeed. 'Tis a wonderful invention, this blackmail is…" The immortal replied as the pair continued to the arena, never showing that they were making small notes about the woman still spying on them…

o. o. o.

Uchiha compound:

Sasuke yawned as he went through his standard morning routine as he walked through his clan compound. Get up, brush teeth, take shower, get dressed, make breakfast, dodge fangirls, get mail, burn love letters, morning warm up, dodge fangirls, etc., etc. It was a standard pattern that he had managed to pretty much do on autopilot these days, and though he would never admit it, was one of the reasons why he was unusually skilled at stealth for his age, especially since some of his stalkers were at least chūnin-level kunoichi.

The Uchiha walked in a semi-daze as he exited his bathroom to get some clothes, stopping by the dresser near his bed and started to put on his boxers, then pants, but for some odd reason, his shirts weren't there…

"Here you are. I must say, your fabric softener makes your clothes quite delicious, but not nearly as good as shattered hopes do." Said an incredibly cheerful Crypt as he was wearing the boy's shirt on his head like a mask.

"Mmm…." Sasuke grumbled as he absentmindedly took the shirt off of the man before putting it on, pausing, then screaming his head off and retreating to the opposite corner of the room… on the ceiling. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" The now awake boy shouted at the top of his lungs.

Crypt giggled. "Why wouldn't I want to check up on my new test subject, numbe flaming monkey squirrel dreams?"

Sasuke very slowly managed to calm himself down as he filtered out what the man had just claimed. Several days before he was let out of the compound, Crypt had managed to crack the entirety of Orochimaru's Curse Seal and tweaked it within an hour of finishing. The curse itself would still reduce his life span if used, but at a drastically slower rate than before. Also, it did not trigger anytime he used his chakra. Another bonus was that his second form did not transform him into a monstrosity. He was shown a picture of what he would have looked like if the seal was left alone, and he had no doubt that if Naruto ever saw him looking like that, he would NEVER get the boy to stop calling him gay for the rest of his life. Regardless, the Uchiha knew that the seal was an absolute last resort. He had his goals, yes, but he didn't want to literally shorten his lifespan every time he came across someone who wanted to kill him. It would make him weak.

And, you know, kill him eventually.

The seal itself had gone under a small change as well. The three tomoe were there, as well as Kakashi's restriction seal, which was more of a decoration than anything these days, but the cores of the tomoe themselves were hollow, and the 'tails' were longer than before. Regardless, no one would see it, as the boy had made a point of putting on several articles of clothing that went over the offensive mark and hid it from the public.

The entire process that changed the seal was definitely not one of the boy's more comfortable memories in life, but it was still more pleasant than when he first got it… even if, when he finally passed out, he had strange dreams, including but not limited to a weird purple dinosaur playing with children. He would definitely have to ask some questions about that later.

Sasuke breathed out slowly as he stared down the odd man. True, he had saved his life, but the adult was clearly not all there, and when he was… well, it made the boy wonder if it was better that the man was insane most of the time in the first place. "I'm fine, as you can see. Can you get out of my house now? I have enough crazy around me with my fangirls trying to rape me all the time and Naruto on my team."

Crypt blinked. "How can you have too much crazy? It's enriched with corn puffs and broken souls!"

"Exactly." Sasuke deadpanned. He would never say it out loud, but prolonged exposure to Naruto and Ghost had made him somewhat adaptive and used to the mentally unstable, and he could somewhat speak their language.

"Bah!" Crypt pouted as he walked to the door. "You just don't want to brush your teeth with florescent calculators! The floor and I bid you adieu, good sir…" He paused as he stepped into the hallway. "One thing, though. The floor has heard many whispers lately… even more than normal, considering that this is a pajama people place… and they've been especially loud this morning… your name has come up a lot. Oh well, maybe it's nothing… the whispers are assholes anyway, always trying find out what my secret steak sauce formula is… but they'll never know…"

Sasuke frowned as he translated what Crypt had said and got back to the ground. The man was crazy, yes, but he had long since seen that there was someone or something else underneath that insane bastard… something scary as high holy hell… or a night alone with Orochimaru. If you felt that the man was making sense, it was more than likely the second persona showing up.

Sighing to himself, the Uchiha noted that Crypt had disappeared. Oh well, he could figure out what the hell was going on after the Exams. 'Til then, he could only hope that there weren't any fangirls going through his trash again today… and remember to hold the fact that he had, on more than one occasion, seen Sakura doing just that over her head as blackmail at some point in the future. Now, what should he make her do this time?

o. o. o.

Hyūga compound:

Neji and Hinata stood in front of the newly formed Hyūga council at the main entrance to their home, both prepared for the day's various… events, and both with a determined demeanor on their faces.

"I expect both of you to perform your hardest during your matches." Hiashi said in a stern tone, but still managing to hint how proud he was at the same time. "Both of you are representing the Hyūga clan as a whole, and as such will portray to the rest of the shinobi world our power and potential. You will fight with honor, you will fight with pride, and you will make us proud. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Hiashi-sama." The cousins replied in unison.

The clan leader gave the two a nod and a small smile. "Good. I will see both of you in the arena." He turned around and started to walk back into the compound before pausing and turning his head to the children again with a somewhat bigger grin on his face. It wasn't that big compared to most people, but for a Hyūga it might as well have been a clown face with makeup and a big red nose. "Oh, and do try to win some matches while you're at it, as well."

Neji and Hinata gaped at their elder before they laughed lightly. "Yes, Hiashi-sama!"

o. o. o.

Konoha Academy:

The children in Iruka's class were staring at the spectacle in front of them with vast interest since it was the most entertaining thing to happen in the building since Naruto graduated about a year ago. Iruka and a doorway were playing tug-a-war with Konohamaru as the screaming rope, and oddly enough, the scarred man was losing.

"Damn it, Konohamaru!" Iruka roared with a red face. "For the last time you cannot skip class to see the Chūnin Exams!"

"NEVAR!" The small 8 year old shouted as he held onto the doorway as if his life depended on it. "I wanna see Boss's fight, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!"

"I'll tell Hokage-sama to not give you your allowance!" The man threatened.

"Who cares?! I would have spent it to see the fight!" The boy countered.

"I'll give you extra homework!" Iruka claimed.

"So?! Boss was dead last of the class, and he's still awesome!" The Hokage's grandson claimed, letting Iruka know beforehand that the boy wasn't going to do it anyways.

Frowning, Iruka paused before putting on an evil grin. "I'll tell Hokage-sama to assign you to babysit Tora whenever the Daimyō's wife goes on vacation!"

That did the trick, as Konohamaru instantly paled and let go of the door much to Iruka's surprise, sending the pair flying across the room and landing in a giant pile. "You (cough) wouldn't DARE!" The boy shouted nervously with wide eyes. It was known in many shinobi circles in Konoha that several years earlier, a toddler Konohamaru came across Tora on one of his many escape attempts and approached the emotionally scarred cat. The end result was the Daimyō apologizing multiple times to the Hokage and Konohamaru developing an irrational fear of semi-domesticated felines wearing pink ribbons.

"Try me." Iruka groaned. "I'm the guy that had to deal with Naruto while he was here, remember?"

The helmet wearing boy frowned. "FINE, then! I'll just wait till the boss makes it to the Jōnin Exams to see him in action!"

"Erm… Konohamaru?" Moegi said out loud nervously. "There aren't any Jōnin Exams…"

"WHAT?!" The boy shouted much to Iruka's dismay being right next to him. "Why not? Why are there Chūnin Exams but not Jōnin Exams?!"

Udon sniffed. "We went over that last week, Konohamaru. Chūnin make up over half of a village's overall forces. Next in size are the genin, then special jōnin and ANBU, then jōnin. The Chūnin Exams are a way to show other people how strong the average ninja in their village is without revealing too many of our more advanced techniques and secrets. Jōnin Exams aren't held because we need to hide what our best ninja can do, and because it would be too dangerous to have shinobi of that level fight with civilians and important non-shinobi around."

Konohamaru paled as the information sunk into his head. Almost immediately the boy tried to untangle himself from Iruka and escape again. "Damn it, Iruka-sensei! Let ME GOOOO! I WANNA SEE BOSS FIGHT!"

o. o. o.

In the Arena:

Fireworks were going off as people crowded into the stadium excitedly. Inside the structure, there were venders cooking and selling to their heart's content and making a steady profit in the process. One of the vendors was a deli/pizza parlor run by a squad of Ghost's shadow clones, running frantically around to keep up with everyone's orders as the line in front of the place grew. Due to the heavy eastern influence of the area, not many western style restaurants were found in the elemental nations, so the clones pretty much had a monopoly on authentic deli meats and sandwiches there. That day, 68 hoagies, 143 subs, and 342 slices of pizza were sold to Daimyō from all over the Elemental Nations, and for many, it would not be the last time they ate such foods. All hail MSG.

Teuchi and Ayame were also helping out the clones with their own menu of ramen style dishes, much to Naruto's delight. Needless to say, the two groups would see an extremely large profit by the day's end.

There were also betting areas, where the statistics and odds of each participant were shown on a large scoreboard, imploring hundreds hundred people to test their luck.

On the inside of the Arena, however, things were even more frantic, as people tried to get good seats and stared at the latest additions to the arena. A huge television screen was set up on one side, showing pictures of the participants and occasionally giving the watchers different views of the fighting area. Large speakers were set up in precise locations around the arena as well, ensuring that everyone would be able to hear announcements clearly.

Once again, the sky was graced by the small silver/white and pink dragon, who was like last time lazily gliding over the crowds, basking in the sun, and occasionally performing some acrobatic stunts to please the crowd and her ego.

However, most of the spectator's eyes were soon distracted as they noticed that in addition to the slowly growing line of genin on the main floor, there was a man lying down on a collapsible chair sunbathing in front of the young (and extremely embarrassed/irritated) warriors.

"Is this normal?" Temari asked Shikamaru while eyeing the man.

"First define normal, then I'll tell you how he murders the meaning in its sleep." The lazy Nara yawned.

"Who are we waiting for again?" Tenten asked out loud as she looked around at her future opponents.

"I believe Ino is still absent, along with the shinobi from Oto and Ame." Shino replied, not appearing to notice the small twitch that Gaara made.

"Dosu won't be here." Ghost said, causing the genin to jump since they all thought he was asleep. "I can't say much about it, but I can assure you that the wrapped up music boy won't show up." He tossed the group a scroll. "Here's the new fighting arrangements. The only real difference is that Shino and Tenten are fighting each other right off the bat, so the winner of that match gets more time to recover before they fight again."

"Woohoo!" Tenten cheered. "I get to fight sooner!"

"Just make sure to keep the flying shrapnel away from the audience this time, Tenten." Neji sighed, remembering the last time his almost girlfriend fought all-out with people watching. Chōji had a momentary exploding kunai relapse, and Naruto looked like he had blown up Dosu's arm again when the dust had finally cleared.

Ghost yawned. "Don't worry about that. We got seals set up so that no stray kunai or jutsu fries an audience member. Same goes for the giant TV."

"Lucky!" Chuckled Oboro as he and Kagari entered, approaching the group. "It seems as if the ones we want to beat didn't run away!"

Sakura groaned. "From the way that you dress, I bet you got that a lot from the girls that you like back home. Just shut up and get in line, you weirdo."

"You bitch!" Kagari snarled while many of the Konoha and Suna genin chuckled.

Sasuke broke out half a smirk and gave Sakura an approving glance. The Ame-nin's reactions had pretty much confirmed her statement. The Uchiha was curious about his teammate's odd change in personality after her training. She seemed to be a bit more forceful and mature than before, and confident as well. Her fangirl side had also dropped considerably, much to his secret joy. But what that truly meant was that while she no longer screamed like a banshee every time something pissed her off, now she simply wailed on it, which was much less painless. Also, he was a bit unnerved occasionally. Sometimes she stared at him as if she was expecting him to go crazy and start killing everyone in sight. It was a bit creepy and disheartening in his opinion.

"Cool your jets, dumbass. She probably wouldn't have said it if you didn't look the part already." Ghost said before the foreign genin tried to do anything stupid. "Plus, if you haven't noticed already, you are being watched by several thousand spectators, so I doubt you'll be able to kill her without any witnesses. Man up and look sharp. You're representing your village here, so don't screw up."

The Ame genin glared at the lazy man before slowly getting in line. "If that's true, then why are you making an ass out of yourself?" Oboro asked irritably.

Ghost yawned. "Two reasons. One, I enjoy doing so. Two, I'm not the star today. You guys are, and as soon as you start fighting, the crowd won't give two shits what I do as long as I keep out of the matches."

The group waited for several more minutes before Naruto's ADD kicked in again. "Damn it! How much longer do we have to wait here?"

Sakura looked at her watch. "Not much longer, Naruto. We have about 5 minutes left. Ino-pig better get her butt her quick or she'll get disqualified."

"She'll be here, Sakura. She's been eager to fight you all month." Chōji replied.

"You do realize that I'm going to beat the pink haired bitch before they can fight…?" Oboro asked menacingly.

The rest of the Konoha genin just gave the Ame-nin a bored look before continuing with their conversation, much to the teen's ire.

"Hey Shikamaru…" Temari whispered to the boy next to her. "I have to tell you something in private really soon…"

Shikamaru glanced at the girl before yawning. "I know already, Temari. Don't bother explaining everything to me, it would be too troublesome to worry about it now."

Temari gaped at the Nara as he resumed to sleep while standing up, completely relaxed, much to her surprise. How could he possibly be so calm when his home was about to be invaded?

Ghost looked around as he estimated the time from the sun's position. The finals would start any minute now… he then smirked as he got an idea. "Hey minion, emo, come over here for a sec…"

o. o. o.

Up in one of the private viewing areas, the teammates of the fighters who didn't make it into the finals and the jōnin-sensei were enjoying a complimentary smorgasbord of snacks and drinks as the audience continued to grow. "Heheh. Looks like all your friends ditched you, mutt." Chuckled Mubi as he mocked Kiba and Akamaru.

Kiba snorted. "So? At least I wasn't weak enough to be taken out in five seconds, weakling."

Mubi growled as he glared at Kiba before going to a seat far away from the Inuzuka.

"You do realize that the point of these Exams is to better our bonds with our allies, not tear them to pieces, right?" Kurenai sighed as she sat next to her student with Asuma on her other side.

"Tell him that." The boy pouted as the Ame-nin's word's slowly wormed their way into his head. Even with a month's worth of encouragement from his friends, family and teachers, the boy was still a bit sore about being the only one in his age group that didn't make it into the finals. "… How do you think he eats with that mask on?"

Kurenai sweat dropped. "I think it's a masked shinobi trade secret…"

"It is." Confirmed Asuma as he let out a puff of smoke. "One of my buddies in the 12 shinobi guards wore a mask, too. I've seen him reading large books about taking care of your mask and how to go through life as if it was a part of your face. There were study results and statistics in there. Hell, he was even buried with it on when he died."

Kurenai and Kiba sweat dropped before wordlessly agreeing to change the subject, which changed to where Kakashi and Gai were at the moment.

o. o. o.

In the Kage box, Rōshi, Ōnoki, and Hiruzen were giggling as they looked at the pictures that Naruto had so helpfully obtained for them several days before. Normally they wouldn't try anything like this in public, but since their box was separated from the crowd and only extremely loyal shinobi were allowed into the room at the time (they had to be in order to be let into the room while the Kage allowed themselves to regress into children), this wasn't quite public anymore, was it?

Sarutobi caught Ino barging into the arena at full speed out of the corner of his eye. No doubt she had overslept or overdone something in order to cause her to panic and arrive so late. Sighing to himself, the Hokage motioned to his partners to put the pictures away, much to the pleasure of Kurotsuchi and the Hokage's retainers. "They're all here, Ōnoki. It's about time to start things off anyways. We'll have more time to talk about our hobbies later… besides, it would be unbecoming of us if Kazekage-dono found out about this."

Ōnoki pouted as he put the pictures away. "Bah! You and your dedication, Saru! You just can't handle making the people wait, can you?"

"Unlike you, who can't handle getting anywhere on time." Rōshi sniggered.

"For the last time, I have hip issues!" Ōnoki growled.

"I bet that's what you tell all the women you've been with." Chucked Sarutobi, causing everyone within hearing distance to burst out laughing,

"You're lucky your brat got me these photos, Saru." Ōnoki said menacingly.

"Hoh?" Sounded off a new voice from the groups right. The people in the box turned to see the Kazekage with his two escorts approaching them. "This is quite a sight. I did not expect Tsuchikage-dono to be at this exam as well."

Sarutobi laughed. "Neither did I until a couple of weeks ago, Kazekage-dono, though to be honest, it has been quite an enjoyable visit so far."

"Speak for yourself…" Grumbled the shortest of the kage.

"You must be tired from your journey." Hiruzen continued, ignoring Ōnoki's comment.

"Not at all." The Kazekage replied. "You are lucky the Exams are held here, Hokage-dono, I doubt you would have lasted the trip to any of the other countries… in fact, I'm surprised that Tsuchikage-dono made it here at all…"

"WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF ME THESE DAYS?! AM I THAT AMUSING TO IRRITATE!?" Ōnoki roared in near hysterics.

"Yes, yes you are." Rōshi chuckled. "You're an easy target, too."

"Now, now." The Hokage laughed nervously as he felt Ōnoki's chakra starting to spike. "We should be leaving the fighting to the genin down there. That is the reason we are here, after all."

"These better be some damn good fights, Saru…" Ōnoki grumbled as he sat back into his chair.

"Though it may not be my position to say this, perhaps it should be time for you two to pick successors? Both of you are not exactly in your prime, and it will only get worse as time goes on…" The Kazekage asked curiously as he sat on the opposite side of the Hokage.

Ōnoki snorted. "Feh! The day I pick a Fourth is either the day I go crazy or the day after this wrinkled bastard steps out of office."

Sarutobi shrugged. "Then it shouldn't be too far away. I'm planning on retiring soon after these Exams, anyways. The village can get my protection while I'm still here, but I have had enough paperwork for ten lifetimes, thank you very much."

The two visiting Kage, as well as all the guards in the room widened their eyes and stared at the Third in shock, not expecting him to blatantly announce his plans as such. "I-is that so?" The fake Kazekage asked, attempting to keep his emotions in check. "Then that means you have already chosen a Fifth?"

Hiruzen smirked. "Of course, but that doesn't mean I'm going to tell you who it is."

Ōnoki started to panic as he ran through all the potential Tsuchikage candidates in his head that could take up his mantle in his wake, and the results were not looking good. Sure, many of them had the skills to become a Kage, but their arrogance, personalities, and in many cases, their intelligence, left much to be desired. He doubted he would last a month out of office before many of the potential successors would send an assassin after him or start the Fourth Great War. "Hey… Rōshi…" Ōnoki started to ask, hoping his old teammate would throw him a bone.

"No." Rōshi replied bluntly without any hesitation whatsoever, knowing exactly what his boss was going to ask him.

"Shhhit." Grumbled Ōnoki, causing Hiruzen to chuckle.

"Well, then." The Third Hokage smirked as he stood up and tapped a small earpiece that was hidden underneath his hat, turning on the microphone that was connected to it. "Now that everyone is here, allow me to welcome you all to Konoha's Chūnin Exam finals!" He announced firmly with his arms spread out and his voice echoing from the speakers throughout the arena. The crowd was silent for a moment as they did not expect speakers to be in the arena, but they expected what happened next even less.

Moments after the Third made his announcement, all the experienced shinobi noticed a large spike in chakra down on the arena floor, originating from two of the boys who had distanced themselves from the rest of the group and were forming seals slowly. Just as half of everyone in the arena's attention was on the pair, the two looked up.

"HIDDEN ART! FIRESTORM!" They roared as a large flaming twister blasted from the pair's mouth. The size of the technique was extremely impressive, and it was slightly taller than the arena itself. Unlike the other times they had performed the move, this time Naruto shaped the twister to have a wide range, large enough to have half the radius of the fighting area. Everyone in the audience could feel the heat coming off of the jutsu and the sucking force that seemed to be trying to drag everything into it. Zuzushi herself seemed to be impressed as she circled the tornado closely, not burned despite the tongues of rogue flames that occasionally flared out and seemingly hit her.

Fifteen seconds later, the technique finally died down to the level of the two boys who had performed the technique in the first place. Both breathed out slowly before straightening themselves and cracking their necks, stiff from holding their heads in such an odd angle for a long time. Moments later the entire arena erupted in cheers and shouts as they marveled at the display of power and control coming from the two boys.

"That was certainly most impressive, Hokage-dono." Chuckled the Kazekage as he eyed the two boys on the ground. "A wonderful example of a powerful technique. However, do you not think that such a dangerous jutsu will exhaust them and impair their matches? Surely they must know of the consequences of using such a technique as well…"

Sarutobi sighed as he noticed the giant screen was showing a close up of the two boys smirking confidently while they walked back to the others, who were gaping at them like fish. "Under most circumstances, yes. However, the blonde one, Naruto Uzumaki, has incredibly large chakra reserves and recovers rather quickly. He is well known for keeping my ANBU on their toes with the pranks and chases he gives them around the village. I wouldn't be surprised if he is back to his full potential by the time his match comes. As for the other one, Sasuke Uchiha, he is fighting last among all the participants, so he has plenty of time to recover before he actually fights. To be honest, though, I didn't expect them to do something like this…" He eyed Ghost as the man gave the two a thumbs up and chuckled from his lounge chair. "… Although now that I think about it, given who I made proctor, I probably should have…" The chūnin that was standing next to the Hokage sweat dropped as he walked to the old man and whispered in his ear. "What? The microphone is still on? This is why I hate technology… erm oh wait, they can still hear me. Um. YES! So welcome everyone to the Chūnin Exams! How do I turn this damn thing off again?"

This time the crowd was a healthy mix of cheers and laughter as they saw the Hokage embarrass himself. It was good to have a strong leader, but it was also important to the villagers that their leader be someone that they could relate to and could show that he was human like everyone else from time to time.

Rōshi chuckled as he remembered why people seemed to like Sarutobi so much before he leaned down to where Kurotsuchi was standing. "You better calm down, girl, or people will start to act on the intent you're leaking out."

The woman glared at her elder as she calmed down, but still continued to observe the blonde boy. She had not been given any chance to observe him since she had arrived in Konoha due to her job of guarding Ōnoki and trying to stop Rōshi from wandering off to who knows where. She HAD managed to get some time to herself that morning to spy on the brat, but to be honest, it only infuriated her even more. The kid seemed to act like any other 12 year old shinobi with decent skills, and there was nothing she could use other than his looks to connect him to his supposed father! The angry crowd that tried to mug the kid before he got to the arena was an interesting event, but completely useless to her goals as far as she was concerned. She just needed something, ANYTHING to validate her theory, and then she would be able to somehow manage to convince the Tsuchikage to off the kid. If the old man proved to be useless… well, she had other connections if needed.

"Right!" Sarutobi continued, clearing his throat and gaining everyone's attention again. "We will now start the main tournament matches between the 15 participants who made it through the preliminaries!" The screen changed to show the rosters for the matches, causing many people in the crowd to start talking among themselves. "As you can see, there are some unusual changes this time around, but for good reason I assure all of you!" The Third claimed confidently. "Please stay and watch until the end!"

The crowd roared one final time in applause before they calmed down again and looked at the participants, who were in turn looking at the man resting at the lounge chair expectantly. Several seconds of silence ensued before Naruto spoke up. "Well?"

The man twitched before sighing and sitting up. "Huh? Oh yeah, the Exams. Hold on a sec…" And with that Ghost and the lounge chair disappeared in a puff of smoke, much to everyone's confusion.

"Hey guys! What's up?" A voice called from the entrance, causing everyone to turn to see… Ghost walking up to them with a slice of pizza in one hand and a drink in the other.

"Shadow clone?" Naruto sighed with a hand over his face. "Seriously? Now of all times?"

Ghost shrugged. "What? I was hungry! Besides, this way I got to mess with people by making everyone think I was messing with them in a completely different way, when all the while I wasn't even there to begin with… it's so genius it's spooky." He said in an over the top mysterious tone, causing everyone in the arena to glare at him with murderous intent due to the fact that he had his microphone on. He then proceeded to finish up his slice of pizza quickly.

"So that's a Ōgakari, eh?" Ōnoki asked with a smirk on his face. "I gotta hand it to you, Saru, I'm surprised he's still alive. I would have killed that guy a long time ago for doing something like that."

Sarutobi sighed. "Odds are you would have killed the entire clan on the first day, Ōnoki. They aren't exactly careful with their words, and you are a rather easy target for their taunting. It's one of the reasons why I forbade them from coming close to you. We would be at war in a week at the latest. Besides, if I killed him, then I would have to find another person that could complete S-ranked assassinations in a week's time on average."

"Come again?" Ōnoki asked, not believing what he had just heard.

"All right!" Ghost announced loudly gaining everyone's attention again. "Now that the Hokage's speech is out of the way, we can begin the finals! My name is Ghost Ōgakari, and I am proctoring this section of the Exams! Brought to you by the Log. It's better than bad, it's Log. Amen." A picture of a log appeared on the screen.

"Amen." Chanted roughly half the crowd, much to the visitor's and civilian's confusion.

"Leaf shinobi." Ōnoki groaned. "I'll never understand them."

Ghost continued. "Behind me are 15 of the nastiest ankle biters you will ever see, and they have all lied, cheated, stolen, maimed, and of course, fought, to get where they are now in order to honor their home village. Ah, to live the life of a ninja…" Ghost chuckled, getting a few laughs from the crowd itself and several glares from the genin behind him.

"But I digress. You came here to see these kids kill each other, and that is exactly what we are going to show you." He turned to watch the screen, which was still on the rosters, zoom in on the left most solo pairing, which was the fight between Lee and Neji. As the screen zoomed in, it showed a picture of both of the boys, along with their names and individual stats. "This time around we have a couple of solo fights for you people, free of charge. These genin lost in their preliminary bouts, but they were so gosh darn cute and lethal that we just had to give them a second chance to get themselves killed for our amusement."

The Kazekage chuckled as he looked at the screen. The disguised Sannin was quite interested in the television screen and its mechanics. Though his preferred area of expertise was biology, he was no stranger to electronics himself, and this screen was certainly something of interest given its design and sheer size. "He is most… amusing."

Ōnoki smirked. "I can see why there are so many rumors about the clan. He doesn't hold back, does he?"

"Getting him to shut up is the real trick." Sarutobi grumbled while weeping comedic tears.

"Now then!" Ghost continued. "Let's get a bit more information on our introductory fight shall we?" The screen zoomed in on Neji's picture and showed a small 16-bit picture of the boy (A/N: Think of all those flash animations that have Naruto characters fighting. It's like that.), which started to perform small strikes and attacks. "Neji Hyūga, member of Konoha's Hyūga clan and the rookie of the year of last year's academy graduates. Praised at an early age for being a prodigy, Neji has exceeded many expectations with his skills, his bloodline and his taijutsu, which has improved under the tutelage of his jōnin–sensei Gai Maito." The screen phased out and showed everyone short clips of his fight with Sasuke, deflecting his sword and striking quickly and performing Kaiten before slipping into his stance for the 8 Trigrams: 64 Palms technique. "Despite his loss to Sasuke Uchiha, Neji's prowess and skills were taken into account and as such was given a chance to give us his all in this match."

The crowd cheered loudly as Neji's introduction finished, causing the boy to blush faintly and bow. Many of the Konoha genin were clapping too as they smirked at his reaction to the praise.

The screen then changed to Lee's profile before showing the digital version of the eye browed boy performing various taijutsu techniques and running around quickly. Much to Lee's embarrassment and Ghost's amusement, there were several girlish screams from the audience when the boy's eyebrows were shown. "Neji's opponent for this match is none other than his teammate Lee Rock!" Ghost announced. "As Neji was the rookie of the year in his class, Lee was in turn the dead last. Having absolutely no skill in nin- or genjutsu, Lee barely managed to squeak by with his moderate at best taijutsu skills." He paused as the screen changed to show Lee's fight with Naruto, showing mostly the points where he was throwing the blonde around like a rag doll. "However, don't let his odd sense of fashion and those eyebrows fool you, folks. Since then, the green boy wonder has exploded in skill. His constant focus on taijutsu and physical conditioning has made him one of the strongest potential taijutsu experts in the village, and one of the best contenders in the exam, period." The screen shows Lee opening the Gates, causing many of the more experienced shinobi in the crowd to raise more than a few eyebrows. "Who will win in this fight between the prodigy and the eyebrows? You tell me."

The crowd's musings grew in volume as the remaining genin walked back to their waiting area, leaving Ghost, Neji, and mini-Gai out on the field. "He's pretty good at this." Rōshi mused out loud, admitting that he himself is looking forward to the fights. "Despite the fact that he acts like an ass, he presents the combatants quite well and built up adequate suspense in the crowd. Although, I do believe that a good portion of it is also due to the combatants themselves."

Sarutobi smirked. "You should have seen him in the preliminaries. There were more than a couple of fights where the genin almost teamed up on him after he made fun of them."

"Either way, this match proves to be most amusing." Hissed the Kazekage as the genin got into their starting positions.

"I noticed that the boy can use Kaiten." Ōnoki mused. "Does that mean that he's part of the Main house?"

The Hokage chuckled. "There is only the Hyūga clan now, Ōnoki. The two houses have merged into one clan like they should have a long time ago, although there are still some issues to work out."

"Really?" Ōnoki asked in a surprised tone. The man had gone up against more than enough Hyūga to know of the internal struggles of the clan, and knew that it would take a massive set of pliers in order to move the sticks out of their asses in order to get the change done. "You're going to have to fill me in on that after the Exams, Saru." The man stated as he got back into his chair.

"Neji, I have long since awaited the day where we would see who would emerge victorious in a fight between us. I wish you luck, my rival." Lee said confidently as he got into his Gōken stance.

Neji smirked as he got into his Jūken stance. "Likewise, Lee. You've gotten stronger over the last couple of years. You might just be able to give me a hard time this fight…" The two shared a quick laugh before their expressions hardened. "Don't expect me to go easy on you."

Lee's stance shifted slightly. "Neji, it is one of the few things I expect you not to do in this battle…"

"Good."

Ghost walked up to the pair confidently and lost some of his silly demeanor. Sticking his arm out to his side, Zuzushi instinctively flew down from her aerial view and perched herself on his shoulder and wrapped her tail around his neck. "Remember boys, you have a 15 minute time limit, so I would advise going all out from the start. If I say stop, you do it, or else." He looked at both of them before smirking. "You are the stars of the show now. Time to show everyone how bright your flames are…" He jumped back quickly. "NEJI HYUUGA VS. LEE ROCK! FIGHT!"

o. o. o.

In a hidden room inside the Hokage's tower:

Scabbard smirked as he watched Ghost start the first battle from his screen. He wished he could be there for the fights, but it wasn't time for him to leave yet. Sighing to himself, he turned on the radio set on his head and turned to the 3D replica in the middle of the room with small pictures and indicators hovering over it showing where all his listeners were and how they were doing. "The finals have started, children. It's time for all of you to do your extra credit now…"

o. o. o.

In the forests outside the eastern side of Konoha:

Shadow's group were waiting a fair distance away from a large group of Oto shinobi in ambush. Shadow was for all intents and purposes an observer for the battle, so she was staying behind while Zabuza, Anko, and Hana did the dirty work, but she was helping out a bit. She was currently crouched over a large puddle of water that was steadily growing as a large stream of the liquid poured from the girl's sleeves endlessly to her companion's bewilderment. "So I heard that you got your seal removed." Shadow grinned as she looked at Anko. "How does it feel?"

"It feels great." Anko grinned. "My body feels lighter than ever and I can use more of my chakra at once comfortably without worrying about feeling something stab me in the neck. I made sure to thank Ghost extremely thoroughly when he told me he got rid of the damn thing."

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Wait… Ghost got rid of it? Didn't Crypt do the removing job?"

"No. Ghost did." Hana answered. "He did it when he rescued us from Orochimaru in the Forest of Death, a few days before you showed up in the tower. Why do you seem so surprised? Ghost is pretty good at seals…"

"To a certain level, yeah." Shadow replied. "But to be frank, he's the worst out of all of us when it comes to sealing in general. The best he can do in your terms of sealing is a decently sized storage scroll or a modified exploding tag. The Cursed Seal is way out of his skill range. Hell, the only people who are good at this world's sealing style in the family right now are Scab and Crypt, even though I'm technically better than Scab in the art." She turned to Anko with calculating eyes. "The only way he could have gotten rid of your seal was if he…" She faded off as she stared to look nervous and depressed.

"He did what?" Zabuza asked curiously. "I don't like the look on your face, girl. It makes me think that snake lady here is going to blow up any second."

"It's not that…" Shadow sighed, noticing Anko's posture stiffen for a moment. Given how eccentric her family was, Shadow wouldn't have doubted that could have happened either if she didn't know any better. "It's just… what Ghost used… isn't something he likes wielding…" She paused as she put a hand over her face and took in a deep breath. "… scratch that… he absolutely HATES using that power with every fiber of his being. Even talking about it pisses him off." She turned to Anko. "If he used what I think he did, then you must mean a lot more to him than I originally thought… both of you…" She turned to Hana.

Hana and Anko swallowed heavily, not knowing how to react to this new information. They knew that if Ghost wanted to keep quiet about something, he would not utter a word about it, but now that their curiosity was piqued, they would no doubt make the mistake of asking him what he did sooner or later and piss the man they both cared about off. Then there was the idea that Ghost had a power that got underneath even his skin, which was something they had trouble imagining.

Before they could ponder anything else however, their respective earpieces went off.

"You heard the man." Zabuza grumbled as he stood up in front of the large puddle of water that Shadow had made for him. "Time to go to work. We can play who did what where later." He made a few seals. "Kirigakure no Jutsu…"

"You don't have to tell me twice." Anko sighed before she put the subject to the back of her head, donned on her sadistic personality, and grinned as she cut her thumb with her teeth and slammed her hands on the ground, summoning several dozen small but extremely poisonous snakes in front of her. "Remember what I told you before, kiddies; you can bite everyone there aside from the guys that are here now and the doggies." She instructed her snakes, who all nodded before starting to slither in the direction Anko pointed.

"Just be careful." Hana hissed as she started to get nervous. The mist was increasing in density and range. "There's about 25 of them roughly 20 meters ahead of where we are now, and only 6 of us not counting Shadow."

"You worry too much, girl." Zabuza chuckled darkly as he disappeared in the mist. "You stick to the plan, and we won't have any trouble at all. Now stop worrying so much and let me have my fun… I haven't killed anything in ages…"

Shadow remained mute as she disappeared into the mist as well, sighing to herself before humming quietly to herself in the trees.

Soon enough, the area where squad of Oto shinobi assigned to summon the three headed boss snake erupted in screams of panic and pain. If a person listened carefully, though, they could also hear the dark chuckling of a man, the growls of several wolves, the hissing of snakes, and the slow humming of a woman mixed in as well.

o. o. o.

In another section of the forest, close to a river:

"The finals started. Let's go." Kakashi said firmly as the three shinobi near him nodded in unison before splitting off into pairs. Kakashi and Haku would attack via the riverbed while Gai and the ANBU codenamed Yamato would attack from the opposite side in a pincer formation. Yamato was concerned at first, seeing as there were only 4 of them and roughly 25 enemy shinobi, especially since Haku was just finishing her probation and registered as a special jōnin, but Kakashi and Gai vouched for the girl, and that was the end of that.

A minute later, Haku appeared in front of the enemy shinobi's ranks on top of the water and walking casually, much to the confusion of the forces there. She was dressed in a battle kimono not unlike the one she wore in Wave, however this one was colored dark green and blue instead of white and blue in order to help her blend with the environment more. Turing to the clearly on guard, yet slightly confused enemy, the girl smiled sweetly and bowed. "Hello, Oto shinobi. My name is Haku. Would you by chance be willing to surrender? We are well aware of your plan to invade us, and will not hesitant to kill you if necessary."

The Oto shinobi laughed as they saw the girl in front of them starting to do some seals. "You have some nerve, girl!" One of them shouted as almost half of the shinobi there threw kunai at Haku, who unfortunately didn't dodge in time and was impaled, but still managed to stand on the water. "How about this, you surrender to us, and we will let you live as our own personal slave. You aren't half bad looking for a girl…"

"Thank you for the compliment… however…" Haku chuckled before turning into water and splashing back into the river, before another Haku smoothly rose from the same spot with her right arm encased in a narrow scaled cone of bluish ice, pointing directly at the enemy. At first glance, a person could easily mistake the formation for a lizard like tail if they didn't pay attention to the fact that it was transparent. "… as a woman, I do have some standards. Hidden Art…" The scales of ice on the cone flared up, revealing countless masses of needles underneath each one, aimed at the paling group of shinobi. "… Tail of the Northern Dragon."

Before any of the invaders could react, the long needles on Haku's arm shot outward at an incredible speed and a wide spray, impaling any and everything in its path.

It was also unfortunate for the invading group that at some point during their encounter with the girl, a large wall made of wood materialized on the other side of them, preventing them from escaping…

o. o. o.

Back in the arena:

The crowd watched excitedly as Lee and Neji went toe to toe against each other, neither boy letting up an inch despite the heavy and debilitating blows that were dealt. Each one had fought the other so many times that they practically knew the other's moves by heart and knew exactly what to do; if they moved one way, they knew how the other would react, and how they should move in order to counteract it. Neji had occasionally performed Kaiten in order to deal with Lee's occasional extreme bursts of speed, but it did little as the boy managed to avoid a majority of the damage by getting hit at an angle with the spin of the technique at the last moment. The end result was a dance that even many jōnin were impressed watching, and so far neither opponent had yet to deal a significant blow to the other. Roughly 12 minutes had passed at this point.

"Konoha Shōfū!" (Leaf Rising Wind) Lee shouted as he ducked down low in an attempt to knock Neji up into the air with a powerful kick. Neji on the other hand had a different plan, as he immediately bent backwards to avoid Lee's kick. Unfortunately, he realized that he had played into Lee's hands as he saw the boy's grin with his Byakugan.

Lee had purposefully performed the maneuver because Neji would react as such… and the position Neji put his body in would temporarily leave him open to attack due to his awkward stance. Instead of kicking up with his leg, Lee quickly shifted his weight from his other leg onto one of his arms, continuing to spin on the ground and quickly repositioning himself closer to Neji before actually continuing his original attack with even more force than before and launching Neji extremely high into the air. "Konoha Daishōfū!" (Leaf Great Rising Wind) The spandex wearing boy roared as the blow hit before quickly jumping onto his feet and launching himself up after his opponent.

"Wow! Lee's going to win?" Ino asked as she saw Lee quickly moving underneath Neji.

"I highly doubt it…" Shikamaru muttered out loud as he continued to watch the fight.

"What do you mean, Shika?" Chōji asked as he saw Lee's bandages starting to wrap around Neji's body.

"Just watch." Naruto stated somewhat quietly as the bandages tightened. "There's a reason why Bushy Brows chose Neji as his eternal rival…"

"You saw it too?" Sasuke asked with his Sharingan active.

"Saw what?" Oboro asked curiously as the pair in the arena started to spin rapidly in mid-air and dive to the ground.

"You'll see." Hinata replied for everyone, just as Lee shot away from the spinning Neji and the Hyūga slammed into the ground hard.

o. o. o.

"Hey, wasn't that?" Asked one random jōnin to another.

"Yeah, it was!" The other replied. "Who knew the kid could pull a move like that off?"

"I can see why they gave him a second chance… it's too bad for him that it didn't work, though…" The first replied.

"What do you think that's all about?" Karui asked Yugito as they watched the dust clear from the large crater in the ground. "It looked like the weird green kid took out the Hyūga with that last move… what was it called again?"

"It's called a Lotus, Karui, and it's a lot more significant than you think." Yugito frowned. "The Lotus requires the user to open up the First Gate of the body, so it cannot be performed except by extremely dedicated taijutsu experts. Even then, the Lotus itself is only taught in Konoha, so it is a very uncommon technique to come across."

"Wait, the First Gate as in the 8 Inner Gates?" Omoi asked curiously. "Damn. I don't want to fight that kid if he ever learns to open any of the other gates…"

 _'If what that screen shows is true, then the boy has already learned how to open at least 3 gates.'_ Yugito mused as she kept her eye on Lee, who seemed like he was suffering from the effects of opening the First Gate. _'If that's true, then that kid Naruto must have some decent skills to be able to pull out a win from that. Kyūbi or not, fighting a taijutsu expert who has opened three gates is like fighting Raikage-sama with his lighting armor on. Still, I am curious how this fight will end up. There's only 1 minute left…'_

_o. o. o._

Lee panted as he looked down in the crater and saw that in the center of it was not Neji, but a log. The boy paled, and before he could turn around his opponent spoke up from the remaining cloud of dust. "You are in the range of my divination…"

Neji burst out of the cloud with surprising speed, focused purely on finishing the match, his eyes primed and set for his teammate's tenketsu and prepared for any drastic last second maneuvers that the boy could make in his state… and unfortunately unaware of the small grin that appeared on Lee's face as he approached. "As expected from my eternal rival…"

Just as Neji finished closing in the gap, Lee's body moved into overdrive, forcing his entire body into a single punch that held much more power than Neji would have expected had he not been too busy focusing on closing Lee's tenketsu. As Lee's punch connected with Neji's chest, Neji managed to finish the 4 palms stage of his attack due to his equally fast speed before the punch threw him back several dozen meters.

o. o. o.

"Damn…" Naruto whistled. "Not bad."

"Hold on." Ino asked curiously. "When the hell did Neji pull off that replacement?"

"It was when Lee was spinning on the ground on his hand." Hinata answered. "Neji-nii-san saw Lee moving and noticed that he was too busy spinning to see him, so he managed to do it then, albeit it was rather close. What I want to know is how Lee was able to move so smoothly after performing the Lotus. Doesn't performing that technique put a huge strain on your body?"

"I can answer that." Naruto replied. "Ero-nii told me that Crypt did something to Lee while he was recovering in the hospital. It's supposed to increase his recovery time and let him use more of his muscles without having as much feedback. I think the end result was that he could open the First Gate without nearly as much consequences. There's still some damage, just nowhere near as much as there used to be." He paused as he saw the two opponents slowly pick themselves up again. "Lee probably guessed that Neji managed to get out of the attack when Neji didn't use Kaiten in mid-air, so he played hurt after he used the technique in order for Neji to drop his guard… he probably got that idea from me… and used it to deal a huge blow to Neji at the last second, regardless of whether he got hit in turn or not."

The rest of the genin swallowed heavily as they turned to the match again, many thinking how lucky they were that these two monsters were in a supplementary fight, and also that the other monsters that managed to beat these two were going to fight each other before any of them did.

o. o. o.

"Im- cough, impressive Lee…" Coughed Neji as he tried to gain control of his breathing again. Lee's attack had shattered four ribs easily, and he had little doubt that there was some internal bleeding as well. "I was not aware that you could still move like that after using the Lotus…"

Lee chuckled before coughing up some blood. Neji's blows were not something to shrug off either, as each one had caused a large amount of damage to his insides, altered at the last second in response to Lee's surprise attack, aimed to cause as much damage as possible, though none of them were thankfully lethal in nature. "You could say it is a new ability of mine, Neji… one that might one day make me a great ninja…"

Neji gave out a painful snort as he staggered back into position. "Great or not, you still won't be better than me, Lee." He joked.

Lee grinned as he also shakily got into his stance. Silently, he tested out the use of the First Gate in his body, but unfortunately, Neji had somehow managed to close the one or two of the tenketsu in his body that he needed to access the extra reserves safely, so every attempt to do so resulted in nothing or triggering something that almost caused him to pass out. Luckily, he managed to bring himself back at the last moment, making it merely look like he stumbled at that point in time. "Is that so?" He replied confidently, edging his way to his opponent.

As if there was some sort of signal that only they could hear, both boys charged at each other at the same time at full speed despite their large wounds. They closed in on each other, determined to finish their foe off with this last brawl. They were in range now, and the crowd watched silently as the two arms were thrown forward…

"TIME'S UP!" Ghost shouted merrily as he in an instant appeared behind Neji, grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him out of the way so quickly that Lee couldn't react in time and skidded on his stomach for a good 5 meters.

"WHAAAAATTT?!" Roared the crowd as they realized that they had just been robbed of an epic conclusion to an entertaining fight. Neji conveyed his thoughts by looking at Ghost incredulously as if he was a moron. Lee just groaned because he had skidded across the ground 5 meters on his already injured stomach and chest.

"15 minutes have passed since the start of the round, folks, and if I had allowed the match to continue, I doubt I would have been able to stop them without someone getting injured more than was necessary." Ghost announced sternly as he motioned for the medics to pick up Neji and Lee before loudly slurping some more soda from the cup he was holding in his other hand. "That being the case, I declare the match a draw!"

"Wow, he actually sounded mature there." Temari mused to herself.

"You do realize he was most likely talking about himself getting injured, right?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I said sounded." Temari stated.

"Touché." Shikamaru replied.

Lee groaned as the medics put him on a stretcher. "So… I didn't win?" He asked in a depressed tone.

"No… but you didn't lose, and that's a hell of a lot more than what most people were expecting judging from the betting rosters… and oddly enough, by tying you just earned the village a couple hundred thousand ryō, since almost no one bet on you guys tying. Good job." Ghost smirked.

"You bet on us tying, didn't you…" Neji groaned.

Ghost laughed out loud. "Nope. I bet on Lee, but only because I flipped a coin and it landed on heads. Hahaha!"

Everyone blinked at the man as if he was crazy before many of the people that knew him started to chuckle as well. Soon enough, the entire arena was full of laughter and applause for the two boys, causing them to smile weakly as they were taken to the infirmary.

o. o. o.

Hiashi smiled as he watched his nephew take in all the cheers of the crowd. The boy deserved all that and more as far as he was concerned given what his childhood was like, but he had deserved the praise as well. He had performed extremely well given the time limit and the skill of his opponent. He was indeed a bit unnerved when Neji showed how proficient he was with Kaiten and the 64 Palms technique, but given how talented and driven the boy was before his change in personality, he doubted that he should have been surprised.

Looking to his side, he noticed how excited Hanabi was. His youngest daughter had become more animated lately, and from what he had heard, she was frequently playing with the Hokage's grandson in the park lately. He was pretty sure he heard her say something about how Konohamaru was going to try to skip the academy to see the Exams. Chuckling to himself, the man wondered in an amused tone if he could somehow get the Third to sign a marriage contract between his daughter and the young Sarutobi… then he realized that it would result in having two loud chronic pranksters as sons-in-law and quickly sobered up. He decided to tuck the idea away for a time when it wouldn't give him a heart attack… maybe in another 10 years… although 20 sounded even better.

o. o. o.

"I can see why you chose that man as the proctor." The Kazekage chuckled. "He is quite capable of moving a crowd. He also displayed an impressive amount of speed at the moment he stopped the fight. Even I did not notice his presence a first…"

Sarutobi nodded. "Yes, that man is indeed a wild card. You never know what he is going to do next, but he seems to always be in control regardless of how he behaves. It makes him quite an effective shinobi." He paused. "However, these two boys have shown great prowess in their match. Neji's timing and skill with his clan's techniques are nothing short of astounding, and Lee's raw speed and strength are something rarely encountered these days."

"Humph. I'll admit that the brats put on a good show and know some decent moves, but I didn't really see anything else that screamed chūnin material to me other than that stunt after the Lotus was performed." Ōnoki grumbled.

"I would recommend both." The Kazekage mused. "Since they were teammates, they knew each other's moves quite well, and they were using what they knew of each other to control the situation. The green boy never seemed to try to attack his opponent from different angles since he knew his opponent had the Byakugan. To be able to fight evenly with a Jūken user using only taijutsu is no easy feat. Likewise, the Hyūga boy was pacing himself and timing his hits carefully due to his foe's higher level of speed and strength. That replacement at the end of the fight was extremely fast and well timed given the situation he was in…"

Sarutobi looked at the Kazekage before sighing and nodding his head. "Indeed, you bring up some interesting points. Let us hope that the judges see that as well when the time comes."

o. o. o.

Kuma smirked as he watched the matches in the audience. He knew he chose the right place to be during the invasion. His comrades from Kusa, a good 20 jōnin and 15 special jōnin, minus Rika and Zurich, were out in the forests around Konoha with the Leaf's ANBU and surprisingly enough some Taki shinobi taking down the various pockets of invading forces. Suna's forces would be left alone and stay idle until the actual invasion started, during which they would join Konoha's allied forces and finish the job.

The only issue was that Suna had confirmed that Oto had already snuck roughly half their forces into Konoha disguised as civilians, and even then everyone highly doubted that Oto had given Suna the entire scope of the operation. This meant that of all the Sound forces in hiding, the alliance probably had knowledge of the locations of at most a third of the total forces. Since the entire alliance was working on a time limit, the overall plan was to take down known strategically marked groups throughout the forest as quietly and as quickly as possible before trapping the area the group was originally hiding and rushing half of the forces back inside the village. The half left outside would wait to kill off stragglers and take out the enemy from behind when the invasion actually started. In most cases, what would happen should be less of an invasion and more of a massacre, but since the forces belonged to Orochimaru himself, the odds were pretty good that something bad would probably happen regardless.

Relaxing in his chair, Kuma put his arm around Rika and held her affectionately. While it was true that the man would have preferred to keep his girlfriend out of the oncoming battle, the woman's fiery attitude would not be swayed and soon enough she was on the road with him.

It also didn't hurt her chances when she threatened to make Kuma scream 'Oh god, why does it burn so!?' if he stopped her from coming. He would have made plans to make Ghost suffer for giving Rika such an evil plan, but then he remembered that the odd man had already suffered punishments that no man should ever go through and come out the same.

Fingering a kunai in his pocket, the man lazily looked at the arena floor and saw the next two chūnin hopefuls walk forward and recognized the girl as Kakashi's student. He had seen the girl performing genjutsu to an adequate level back in Wave, but other than that, she remained a mystery to him. Mentally shrugging, the man relaxed. Oh well, he would find out more about her soon enough anyways.

o. o. o.

Oboro smirked as he stared at Sakura. "Lucky! I finally get to take down the bitch that knocked me out in the second round!"

Sakura sighed. "Take a picture, weirdo. It will last longer, and it will probably the best thing you will ever get from a girl."

Oboro cocked his head to the side. "Why would I want to take a picture of a flat dyke like you?"

Sakura's eyebrow twitched as she began to crack her knuckles. Oh, if only she could use her strength in public.

Ghost chuckled as he turned to the screen, which displayed Oboro's and Sakura's stats. "Now then let's get started introducing the fighters for the first match of the main event! Sakura Haruno of Konoha vs. Oboro of Ame!" The screen zoomed to Sakura and showed her video game-self forming seals and disappearing in what appeared to be sakura blossoms. "One of the many rookie genin that managed to make it to the finals, Sakura Haruno is the female member of Team 7, led by Kakashi Hatake. It should be known that Team 7 is the only team in these exams that has all of its members participating in today's main event." The screen changed to show Sakura's fight with Kagari. "Sakura has shown great promise in the exams, revealing her skills in both genjutsu and strategy to extremely high levels. She is expected to perform quite well today, and many are confident that she will not fail to deliver."

The screen then turned to Oboro's stats. "Oboro of Ame, no last name." The screen revealed Oboro's game-like counterpart swaying side to side menacingly before making some seals and sinking into the ground laughing before several clones rose from the same spot. "Oboro has shown promise in these exams as a proficient genjutsu user, along with the rest of his team. His use of various gen- and ninjutsu have made him a challenging contender in these exams and definitely an opponent to keep an eye on at all times." The screen changed to show some of the fight between him and Zaku. "This fight will most certainly be a battle of the illusions, folks, and I would definitely not want to turn away from this fight." The screen shifted back to its view of the arena. "One blink and you'll miss the magic…"

"All right crazy boy and crazy hair color. You know the rules." Ghost chuckled as he walked back lazily. "Sakura Vs. Oboro. FIGHT!"

Oboro started to flip through some seals quickly, thinking that Sakura would do so too seeing as she was the same type as he was. Unfortunately, he was quickly proven wrong as the girl instead chose to unleash an extremely unhealthy amount of kunai at him while charging forward. Oboro had no choice but to stop what he was doing and dodge while taking out a kunai of his own to deflect the ones he couldn't dodge, but he was still scratched a few times in his defense. The boy proved to be quite agile however, and faster than Sakura anticipated, as he retreated into the forest in the arena and out of Sakura's sight. The girl cursed as she began to form seals of her own quickly before patting herself on the forehead and repeating the process with different seals.

o. o. o.

"Hoooh?" The Kazekage mused as he recognized the sequence of seals the girl was using. "This is quite an interesting young girl you have here. She is not only layering genjutsu on herself, but the ones she is using are quite complicated…"

Ōnoki raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know you dabbled in genjutsu. You were always a bit of a ninjutsu enthusiast. What illusions did the girl cast on herself?"

The fake Kazekage didn't make any physical motions that he had heard Ōnoki as he continued to watch the match. "I occasionally dabble in the subject when I am bored, just in case. Regardless, the two illusions that she used are both B-ranked supplementary illusions. The first one I recognize as one that increases the user's reaction time, also enhancing one's awareness of their surroundings. It is often used to increase the potential of a taijutsu focused teammate, but it is rather dangerous and detrimental if used incorrectly, which is quite easy to do if I am correct. The second technique, however, is one I have not heard about in a long time. It adjusts the user's eyesight to see chakra easier, much like the Sharingan or the Byakugan, but less proficient. I believe it was referred to as Gengan no Jutsu (Art of the Illusion Eye). I read that it has fallen out of use in recent years due to the fact that techniques that require large amounts of chakra can effectively blind the user in battle, but in this type of situation, I am sure that risk is practically nonexistent. No doubt it is to detect her opponent's presence quicker, and it also means that she intends to finish these matches as soon as possible, as using both of these techniques at once is most certainly a draining task for the girl… though it is indeed impressive that she can perform them at all, let alone at the same time."

Sarutobi gave the Kazekage a brief glance before turning his attention to the match again. He had no doubt that Orochimaru was masquerading as the leader of Suna, but it still helped calm his nerves when he got more evidence that proved it, as odd as that sounded. Focusing on the match, however, the Professor was indeed impressed with Sakura's proficiency with genjutsu and her forethought of augmenting herself before walking into what was more than likely a trap instead of simply chasing after her opponent. This would definitely earn her some points towards her promotion.

o. o. o.

Sakura charged into the forest with her eyes open to her surroundings. She knew what Oboro would most likely do first, and luckily for her, she had practiced with Naruto in detecting people hiding underground… though she couldn't be too sure he was there this time, as he could easily be in the branches of the trees above her. It also didn't help that the person she practiced on was practically a floodlight when she used the technique, but the point of the exercise was to get used to the eyes. Then there was the possibility of traps, which was why she had set herself up with a reaction enhancing illusion. In all reality, she didn't really need it as much as she expected to, but when faced with potential skewering, precautions are nice to have.

Soon enough, the forest was flooded with mist clones. With her enhanced eyes, the girl could tell that none of them were the original, but that didn't stop her from wanting to punch them. "Heheh." Oboro chuckled from seemingly nowhere. "You stupid little girl. You ran right into my trap. I'm definitely going to enjoy this…" The clones started to crowd up on Sakura, who continued to scan her surroundings before smirking.

"Found you…" She grinned as she threw down a smoke bomb, to Oboro's surprise. The boy frowned as he tried to change hiding spots, as he was using an illusion to hide in the canopy of the trees, when something strong grabbed him. The next thing he knew, he was hit with something hard and launched across the arena. The poor boy was out before he even hit the ground.

Ghost walked up to the Ame genin's body and checked his pulse. "Winner by knockout: Sakura Haruno!"

There was some cheering in the crowds, but it was nowhere near as loud as Lee's and Neji's fight as Sakura walked out of the growth and canceled the illusions she placed on herself. She doubted she would be able to top their fight anyways. All the real action happened where none of the audience could see her, and that's not what they'd paid to see.

o. o. o.

"All right Sakura! Way to kick ass!" Naruto shouted as his teammate made her way back to the stands.

"Not bad." Sasuke mused with a smirk. "Though I did expect her to take him down faster."

"Way to go forehead!" Ino yelled.

"I am curious as to what Sakura did in there that caused her opponent to fly from the foliage like that…" Shino mused.

"She probably used one of Tenten's special soundless blasting seal tags." Chōji grumbled darkly.

"For the last time, Chōji, I'm sorry I accidently blew you up! Seriously! I had no idea you were there!" Tenten apologized in a frustrated tone. "Under most circumstances that would even be a compliment considering how…" She froze as she noticed the looks everyone in the room were giving her. "… big you are…" She saved herself carefully. "I mean it's pretty difficult to hide your presence when you're more ripped than most of us combined. I mean, the only thing that comes to mind that would be harder to hide is Naruto when he was still in that horrible orange jumpsuit of his."

"I didn't know any better and was confused! I was in a phase!" Naruto yelled in denial.

"Yeah, for about 17 years…" Chuckled Shikamaru under his breath.

"YOU CAN PROVE NOTHING! I BURNED ALL THE EVIDENCE!" The blonde ranted hysterically.

"You say something, Shikamaru?" Temari asked curiously.

"Erm… just about how troublesome it is that we're the next fight." The lazy Nara sighed.

"What? Are you afraid to get beaten by a girl? Or are you one of those chauvinist pigs that can't stand hitting women?" Temari asked bluntly.

Shikamaru shrugged slowly before looking at the arena grounds again. "A little of both, I guess. I suppose I could always give up if things get too rough…" He pretended to ignore the look of pain and death that Ino was giving him. "… but then mom wouldn't shut up about it… and then there's all those D-ranked missions that I would be forced to do still, so I guess I'm stuck fighting. Troublesome… why am I always stuck fighting women?"

Temari glared at Shikamaru before huffing and turning away. "Maybe it's because you just have crappy luck, or probably because you pissed some deity off."

"Or probably because someone up there enjoys making me suffer." Shikamaru sighed. (A/N: … yep. I'm indiscriminate. I'm like an old testament god. Everyone suffers in my eyes.)

o. o. o.

"Not bad…" Fū mused as she watched from the audience.

She and several other Taki shinobi were spread out in the arena while the remaining support forces were in the woods helping out ANBU. In theory, she should have been paired up with someone from her village as was standard procedure, but being a jinchūriki and having a majority of her home village hating her can change a few things… not that she minded. In all reality, she was probably safer where she was alone than if she was assigned a partner since Yugito's group was sitting a couple of rows above her, and oddly enough, she got along quite well with the container of the two-tails.

"The girl uses her head and has some decent moves under her belt. She has a good chance of getting promoted…" She mused as she shifted the large container on her back. ' _Of course, if she is also one of the people that got their memories back, then it shouldn't be a matter of_ _if_ _in the first place…'_ Fū was snapped out of her musings when she noticed that she was hungry. Shrugging to herself, the girl got up and walked to the snack bar in order to get something sweet to munch on. One of the traits she had gotten from being the container of the Seven-Tailed Horned Beetle was an incredibly large sweet tooth, something that Shadow Ōgakari also possessed. Shaking her head, Fū sighed. She was honestly supposed to believe that woman possessed a monster so powerful and monstrously huge that could block out the entire sky with just its head? She had heard some odd things before, but that was clearly pushing it.

o. o. o.

Ghost smirked as he watched the medics take Oboro away while Shino and Tenten walked onto the field. Everything had been going according to plan so far. Kakashi's and Shadow's groups had taken down their initial targets without any issues and no injuries other than one of Hana's hounds cutting her mouth by accident when she bit on a kunai hidden on one of the retreating Oto-nin. From what they were told, most of the enemy's forces were on average low special jōnin level at best. They weren't the most dangerous or experienced enemy possible, but they certainly would be annoying to deal with if handled incorrectly. Kakashi's group was returning to Konoha, however, due to Haku overextending herself with her new technique, while Shadow's group was going to down another small pocket of invaders before returning.

The other squads in the forest were also doing quite well, although there were some casualties. A grand total of about 200 Oto-nin were reported killed so far at the cost of 10 Konoha, 4 Kusa, and 6 Taki shinobi being killed, crippled, or injured enough to be taken out of battle for the remainder of the operation. The great odds were the result of almost all the enemy's forces being taken down by ambush, and being spread out into small pockets. Normally the maneuver would be effective at concealing their ranks and numbers, but unfortunately, it also left them open to being taken down rather easily by specialized forces.

It also helped that Scabbard was constantly monitoring the status of the shinobi in his system and informing them of who needed aid and medical attention. At some point during the entire operation, the squads had started to refer to him as Leaf Eyes due to the fact that he seemed to be watching them through the trees. Chuckling to himself, Scabbard graciously accepted the new nickname before getting out a small notebook from his coat and writing down the new name on the bottom of the list of things he had been called so far.

All together with the other hit squads, Ghost and Scabbard estimated that they had taken out roughly a fourth of Oto's forces from right underneath their noses, and since they were so dependent on Orochimaru's plan, and scared to incur the Snake Sannin's wrath, they wouldn't make any rash actions until the signal to start the invasion was given.

Ghost smiled as he looked at the building that the Kage were watching from, and it grew slightly as he felt Waltz watching back from his post. The old man was a bit irritated that he couldn't aid the medic team during the finals, but he knew that he had a very important role to play in the grand scheme of things, so he kept his comments to himself… and hopefully let Sarutobi take care of Orochimaru…

On a side note however, he learned that Zabuza becomes a bit murder happy when he gets to cut loose after being reined in for long periods of time. Ghost made a mental note to tell Sarutobi and Tsunade to put the man on missions that let him kill things frequently in order to prevent future incidents. In hindsight, it probably was a bad idea to leave the man in the hands of Scab for extended amounts of time in order to skip out on chores…

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, the man turned to see Shino and Tenten waiting patiently, but on edge for their match to start. Ghost sighed to himself. It wasn't that the two genin in front of him didn't have potential, just the opposite really. Scabbard had taking a peculiar liking to the girl and was even willing to make her his apprentice, something he had not done in a fairly long time, and Shino was an enigma in himself. Even Ghost had not encountered someone with Shino's unique vocabulary of skills and techniques before.

However, the second half of the main event held some of the most promising kids that Ghost had seen in a long time, both in skill and in mind… and he was pretty damn sure that most of the genin he taught knew that as well. Taking in a deep breath, the man put on his confident grin again and started to introduce the combatants for the next fight…

o. o. o.

A/N:

OKAY! I had a look at my latest schedule for college, and I am shitting myself. This is easily my heaviest course load ever, and I doubt I will have much time to write in these next few weeks, so this time I actually will focus on rewriting and adjusting my previous chapters since making new chapters will not be happening anytime soon. All the rest of my free time will be spent either dong hw, doing labs, playing FF13, playing god of war 3, or most likely… sleeping and crying my life away. Yay work. Seriously though, I'm expecting to do over 25-30 hours of work outside of classes a week on average this quarter, if I'm lucky. This is definitely not going to be my most memorable time in college.

So my new goal review wise is to reach the 1K mark by the end of chapter 50. That gives me plenty of time to write and plenty of time for you guys to review… and stuff, so no pressure, yet.

The midget made a new picture of Ghost and the link is on my profile. It's really good, so check it out. I'll try to get someone to do the weapons soon as well, but I'm in no rush.

Anyways, review, worship the log, laugh maniacally whenever possible, and think up as many short jokes as possible for me to use on Ōnoki when he finally meets Ghost, Crypt, and Shadow. They are going to be relentless on the poor old man.


	39. And to think, the author actually considers himself a peaceful guy…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 39: And to think, the author actually considers himself a peaceful guy…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha Arena:

Danzō frowned as he processed what was going on in front of his only normal eye. He had severely underestimated the impact the Ōgakari had on the village as a whole, and the capabilities of the clan itself. He had received several reports from members of ROOT hidden in ANBU that the invasion was compromised, and that Suna had changed sides again at the last moment, giving the locations of several platoons of Oto shinobi outside of the village, which many assassination squads had been tasked with taking out as soon as the finals started in order the stem the flow of information to the shinobi that were more than likely hiding in the crowd. His face grew more impassive. They had effectively turned one of the village's greatest blind spots into an effective window of opportunity to cripple the enemy within less than two days… which more than likely ruined his follow-up plan to have his men save the day late into the invasion in order to gain more support. He also doubted that was the only thing they had planned, if their message about Sarutobi was correct.

The war hawk turned from his private watching area to see the three Kage watching the match between the Haruno and the Ame-nin with mild interest. How the Tsuchikage ever even managed to get approval to see the finals without his knowing was beyond him, and also left the man speechless. Danzō respected Ōnoki's prowess on the battlefield and skill as a shinobi, but that was as far as he would go for the short old man. If it were up to him, he would use the invasion to kill both perverted old fools, but he knew that it would only cause more problems than he needed at the moment. One of his few hopes that he intended to make happen was to make sure that the Kyūbi container's heritage was not exposed to anyone. He did not like that look the Iwa kunoichi had on her face when she looked at the boy. He would have to make sure to order his men to keep her away from the container after everything settled down. He could not have such a promising potential tool be exposed and threatened so early on…

Still, the Ōgakari managed to impress the dark man in other ways. The television screen in the arena was beyond anything he thought was possible, and the displays were regrettably impressive and somewhat entertaining for the masses. However, this was nothing compared to how much these children had improved. The man may not have ever actually trained genin before, preferring to do solo missions when he was a jōnin and leaving his new ROOT recruits to their seniors, but he could easily tell that the genin that the clan had trained were exceptional.

The technique that the Uchiha and the jinchūriki had performed at the beginning of the finals was far beyond anything he would have expected from shinobi their age. He doubted that even Itachi would manage to find a way to escape or defend against such a technique… when he was their age, at least. The fight between the Hyūga and the smaller version of that buffoon Gai also proved to be of interest, as both boys demonstrated extremely high levels of taijutsu, speed, endurance, skill, perception, and decision making. The replacement that the Hyūga performed was extremely well timed and fast, much faster than a good portion of his own forces if he would ever admit it, and the level of observation he displayed was nothing short of miraculous given the circumstances. The boy, Lee Rock also performed much better than anticipated given his disabilities. Not only had he managed to fight evenly against a well-practiced Jūken user using only taijutsu, but he managed to find ways to take less damage from Kaiten, displayed the ability to open at least three Gates if what the screen showed was correct, and had even managed to fool the legendary Byakugan enough to land an extremely heavy blow on his opponent. Then there was the odd fact that he seemed to be not harmed from opening the First Gate… Both boys in his opinion were chūnin material, and had potential to go even further if trained properly.

Watching the current fight, he saw the Haruno girl perform two high level supplementary illusions on herself in quick succession, something experienced chūnin and even some special jōnin have issues doing on occasion. He would have to keep an eye out on the genin that the Ōgakari trained. He decided to make some more mental notes about the next few contenders before watching the fights again. He himself couldn't send his men to spy on the children, but then again there were various clan members in his organization, and he highly doubted that the Ōgakari would prevent the children from talking to their own families…

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Arena:

Crypt smiled gently as his senses took in their surroundings. Promising youths were fighting their hardest against each other in a massive test of skill and strength. Countless humans, both weak and strong observing with intensity. His brother Ghost standing down in the grounds, showing off his obscure personality again, making people see what they want instead of what was happening just a few miles away with incredible ease…

The smell of over 200 warrior's blood gently floating in the wind. Oh, how he wished he could fight now and taste the blood of the strong, but not yet… it was not time. The feast had not ripened just yet. It would be at its peak when the war started.

The suspense was beautifully orchestrated, and had he not been an extremely experienced individual, he may have had a few… accidents with some of the spies sitting underneath him already…

War. It brought an interesting series of thoughts to the man's strange mind. He could proudly say (when he was coherent) that no event in the history of the universe brought stronger individuals out from the woodwork faster than war, and it also produced just as many in its process. However, it unearthed far more weaklings as well, and few things irritated him more than pathetic cowards that did nothing more than focus on those less powerful then themselves or live only to kill. There were far greater things to fight for than to simply end a life. It was wasteful and childish behavior. Spilled blood that should not have seen the light of day in the first place, spurned over petty reasons such as that got under the man's skin more than almost anything. Useless deaths that served no purpose than to over glorify pathetic leaders that deserved no honor in the first place. Wasted. Perfectly delicious red fluid and potential fighters sullied in an instant.

Crypt did not mind killing people, but he did not mind letting them live, either. It did not matter to him, and he could care less about the weaklings as long as they didn't ruin his mood. It was those that showed potential to be strong and the strong themselves that truly interested him. Regardless of age, sex, species, skill, power, or style, the fire in the eyes of a truly strong opponent excited him more than an army or weaklings could ever accomplish. Even if they were not that powerful, the potential they revealed was enough to make him drool. He often left those ones alive, taunting them to be stronger so that they could entertain him again at a later time. He did not need to kill their loved ones or physically scar them for life… most of the time, at least. All he needed to do was fill them with a healthy dose of fear caused from being around a strong monster.

Yes, he believed himself to be a monster. He had lived far too long and done too much to think otherwise, and he knew that deep down, the rest of the family believed it to be true about themselves as well. As long as they were better… or in some cases cooler… monsters than all the others, though, be it human, demon, or other, they paid the fact little notice. They were humans too, as well as demons, saints, teachers, teachers, butchers, heroes, strippers, killers, doctors, saviors and a whole list of other things. They had all learned early on to refrain from denying any part of themselves. To pretend as if they were only one of these things and ignore the others was a surefire way to lose ALL of your sanity incredibly quickly.

Sighing to himself, Crypt looked to the sky. In all honesty, he could do without war. He didn't mind fighting in them, of course, but idiots always put too much meaning into fighting, which killed the buzz for him. War didn't prove who was right, it proved who was left.

He glanced at Ghost. The only things that could prevent war from ever occurring were nothing and the complete absence of life to perform the acts of war in the first place. Anything else was nothing short of stalling for time.

He sighed before looking at the scythe hanging off of his neck and stared at the small amber gem at the opposite end of the shaft from the blade.

Regardless of his views on the obscure practice, it would happen none the less, so he might as well enjoy his part. Perhaps he would add a few more drops to his special stash by the end of the day… if he was lucky enough to come across someone worthwhile and in a good mood…

o. o. o.

Arena Grounds:

Shino and Tenten stared at each other as they waited for Ghost to start the fight. Both knew that they had a tough match ahead of them, but they also knew that due to their mutual fighting styles, their fight would also take a bit longer than most, so they hoped that they would be able to show off their prowess enough to become chūnin regardless of who won. It was making them both a bit on edge, as the panda-headed girl's fingers kept on twitching for the scrolls on her belt and a distinct buzzing emanated from the Aburame.

Ghost smirked. He had known that these two had good amounts of potential in them, but he was honestly a bit curious about what they would do. Shino was very analytical and could plan several steps in advance of a good portion of those his age. He had seen the boy sparring against Lee and Gai often in the past few months and was fairly impressed… though he doubted that anyone else but he, Waltz and Shadow knew what the boy had been doing on his own time. A skill like that would definitely make him a dangerous foe to fight.

Tenten on the other hand was a living armory. The girl held more explosives on her on a normal day than three dozen terrorist cell's total stock. Her swordsmanship was also nothing to scoff at, as he had seen her spar against Sasuke when she was training him, and the girl certainly knew her way around anything sharp. What interested him more, though, was Scabbard's proclamation to take her on as an apprentice after the Exams. Scab rarely took on personal underlings, as they more often than not advanced slower than he would prefer, and the man was not exactly great with kids. Ghost noticed, however, that Scab looked at the girl with an odd expression when she wasn't paying attention, as if he was seeing someone else. Mentally shrugging, Ghost decided to put the information away. Scab always did something for a good reason… unless he was just being flashy. He obviously saw something special in Tenten. What it was would be revealed eventually, and it wasn't like he was pressed for time, being immortal and all.

"Here is your fourth match of the day, people, and I assure you there will be many interesting things to see in this one." The man announced as the screen displayed Shino's and Tenten's information before zooming in on Shino. The digital version of the boy stood there stoically before shifting his glasses and becoming hidden by a cloud of what seemed like bugs. "Shino Aburame, member of Team 8, student of Kurenai Yūhi, otherwise known as Konoha's resident Ice Queen or Genjutsu Mistress, and heir to the Aburame clan. A calm and collected shinobi, Shino has had little trouble getting as far as he has alongside the army of insects residing inside his body." The screen showed various clips of the boy in his preliminary fight surrounded by his Kikaichū. "However, don't let his fascination with bugs fool you into thinking that the kid doesn't like to fight up close, folks. The boy is as capable of exchanging blows as the next chūnin hopeful, if not more so than everyone else. His odd combination of clan techniques and taijutsu are indeed a formidable combination, but then again, his opponent is not a standard shinobi either..."

The screen then changes to show Tenten's stats and picture before showing her animated counterpart crouch on the screen and unleash a large amount of kunai and shuriken in quick succession. "Tenten Higurashi, teammate of our previous competitors Neji Hyūga and Lee Rock, daughter of Shiki Higurashi, is no stranger to sharp and pointy things. Being the daughter of a ninja shop owner, the girl has spent her entire life near the tools, and as such they've earned a special place in her heart." The screen showed the girl attempting to maul Waltz in order to get her hands on his sword, much to her embarrassment. "However, don't let her obsession with her hobby fool you. The girl is extremely skilled in every form of weapons combat out there, and is here to prove it to everyone here. In fact, many shinobi have already taken to calling her the Weapons Mistress of Konoha." The screen showed her fight against Kankurō, triggering her exploding seals in front of the puppet master's body.

"It should also be noted that her ability in seals has also been noticed by many of our shinobi." Ghost smirked as the girl blushed. "A little known fact, though, is that all the non-clan made items involving seals coming from Higurashi's shinobi store were either made or designed by this girl here. This includes the engraved kunai, the more efficient storage seals, the element seals, and everything else. Judging from those scrolls on her belt, we're in for one loud and exciting battle, folks."

o. o. o.

In the family member's viewing area, Shibi Aburame turned to Shiki Higurashi, who gulped nervously. Next to the Hyūga, the Aburame were known as the most intimidating clan in Konoha. The soft buzzing the insects made inside of them and the fact that they all wore sunglasses alone were often enough to unnerve most people. The two stared at each other for several moments before the Clan leader spoke. "… I hope your child can restrain herself, Shiki. I do not mind if Shino does not win the match… it would be a valuable learning experience if he didn't. However, there will be… issues if your daughter happens to forget herself in the process…

Shiki slowly nodded, weeping anime tears. He honestly didn't blame the man for making the silent threat. It came with being the father of a twelve year old girl that wielded half the village's stock of exploding tags on her waist… definitely not something a responsible parent would let their kid do, shinobi or not. Something told him that no matter how well his daughter did in the Exams, he would end up getting a lot of angry parent letters in the next few weeks…

o. o. o.

Ghost smirked as he took in Tenten's and Shino's glaring looks and backed up more than he normally would. "Bugs vs. Blades! Who will win? We're about to find out!" The genin turned their attention to each other. Shino took his hands out of his coat while Tenten put one of her hands on a scroll... one that she had prepared for this fight in particular… before going for another one instead. She wouldn't use that scroll just yet… "Shino Aburame vs. Tenten Higurashi! FIGHT!"

Tenten wasted no time whipping out a scroll and unraveling it extremely quickly so that the contents faced Shino, who immediately started running quickly to the side. Kunai flew from the paper with extreme speed at the boy, who picked up the pace just in time as the deadly weapons flew past him. It was only then that the Aburame was truly glad for the horrendous endurance torture that Shadow had put him under, and the dodging 'training' that Anko had also partaken in occasionally. He doubted he would have lasted even this long against the girl if he didn't, considering her ability to be extremely accurate with her weapons.

Explosion after explosion echoed throughout the arena as each kunai impacted the ground, setting off the seals engraved on them. The crowd cheered as they watched the fireworks and Shino continued to run for dear life, seemingly unable to do anything else. Luckily for Shino though, Tenten didn't actually want to kill her friend, so the kunai and seals in that seal were more concussive than explosive so that she wouldn't do too much damage to him… hopefully.

It was then that the girl's seemingly endless supply of exploding metal abruptly ended. Cursing to herself, Tenten remembered that she had accidently used the smallest storage seal she had on her and immediately reached for her special close ranged weapons scroll, one that held something that she had prepared to use against either Shino or Dosu. Shino, on the other hand, wasted no time closing the gap as quickly as possible before attempting to punch the girl. He came a moment too late, as his vision was impaired by a cloud of smoke and his fist impacted something metal and solid. The dust cleared moments later to reveal what he had just hit, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit surprised by what he saw.

"Hooooh?" Ghost mused as he recognized what Tenten had just brought out. "Now where oh where did she ever get the idea for that sword?"

Crypt giggled darkly as he saw the dust clear and the sword's shape was revealed from his spot on the arena's scaffolding. Things just got a lot more interesting…

Scabbard smiled briefly as he saw Tenten bring out the blade on his screen. They had both decided that it was the most appropriate one for her upcoming matches due to its size, shape, and the fact that her first two potential opponents had gauntlets that could take a lot of damage. He had no doubt that he would be asked about this later, but it didn't matter at this point.

The dust cleared to reveal Shino's fist connecting the broad side of a large sword about as long as Tenten was tall. The blade itself was shaped like a cleaver, and there was no guard. The handle itself was wrapped in a white cloth before it was tied at the end and doubled back to wrap around the entirety of the metal. Several Kikaichū were clustered around the place where the boy had just hit. Tenten smirked. "Shino, Zangetsu. Zangetsu… Shino…"

The girl immediately grabbed the handle of the massive sword and swung, unwrapping the cloth around the blade in the process to reveal the massive edge of the weapon, sending the insects that were previously on the sword flying. Shino couldn't move out of the range of the weapon in time, so he went for the next most logical idea and blocked the massive blade with his two gauntlets, which like all the other pieced of equipment belonging to those that had trained under the Ōgakari in the past month, had been reinforced and adjusted by Scabbard.

A massive and loud clang echoed throughout the arena as metal struck metal. Shino's legs nearly buckled under the force of the blow, but he held firm and shifted himself to counterattack with a punch as soon as the girl let up on the force. He should have expected that the third member of Team Gai was at least this strong, but he let the fact that she was a girl dissuade him temporarily. He would not make that mistake again. Tenten quickly responded by twisting the blade so that its side was facing her opponent and blocked the punch again. With the boy's arm stretched out, the two took quick note of the distinct gash in the metal of his gauntlets and several insects coming out of it.

Naruto's eyes widened. "Whoa… that's a big sword… wait, I think I remember Ero-nii telling me about a sword that looked like that before… can't remember when, though…"

Sasuke whistled. "Wow, I'm glad she never used that on me when we practiced. Chakra enhancement or not, that thing doesn't look like it would break easily…"

"Note to self, don't fight Tenten up close." Shikamaru mumbled to himself.

"It's not going to explode, is it?" Chōji whimpered, still recalling the times that the girl scarred him for life.

"Not bad…" Temari mused. "Though from what I've seen so far, she wouldn't be able to beat me in a straight up fight…"

"What is it with people and big swords? Honestly, can someone please explain it to me? Seriously, every time someone sees a giant sword, they start to get aroused!" Ino asked irritably.

"That is an impressive weapon…" Mumbled the Kazekage. "I have not seen a design like that before… though it seems as if the proctor has…"

Sarutobi nodded. "She wields it quite well as well despite its size. Gai's training must have been the cause of that. Considering what she knows about her opponent and her skill range, it is an appropriate tool for this sort of situation…"

"Humph. Zangetsu? What an over pretentious name." Ōnoki grumbled in denial as he watched the fight. All things considered, he was somewhat impressed with the girl's swordsmanship.

Tenten and Shino continued to exchange blows with each other, neither getting a hit as Tenten proceeded to keep Shino at a distance where his fists couldn't hit her, but close enough so he couldn't run away, and Shino kept on dodging or blocking Tenten's slashes. Whenever Shino looked like he would be able to get around the sword and manage to get a hit in, the girl would use the sword as a pivot and dodge the attack just in time. It was becoming apparent that using taijutsu against the third teammate of Team Gai was an inadvisable endeavor. There were a good number of slash marks on Shino's gauntlets and his arms were starting to go numb. Tenten's sword, on the other hand, looked like it could go on for a while still. Its blade had some very tiny chips, but they were almost negligible all things considered. All things considered the two were at an impasse with Tenten having a small advantage.

"Very impressive, Tenten." Shino panted before jumping back and taking in a deep breath and calming down. "But it seems as if you have forgotten what my clan is known for…" As he spoke a cloud of Kikaichū emerged behind the girl, threatening to cover her.

"When the hell did he set that up!?" Ino asked in a shocked tone.

"It was at the beginning of the match when Tenten-san was attacking Shino-kun with her exploding kunai." Hinata replied with her Byakugan activated. "He let them out in small increments so that she wouldn't see them before guiding them to the right position to attack her. But the weird thing was that they were constantly moving even when they were fighting…"

"How's that weird?" Sakura asked curiously.

"Shino-kun told me that it's extremely difficult to coordinate one's Kikaichū and participate in a fast taijutsu oriented battle. It takes incredible amounts of mental training for a person to do both at the same time, which is why many members of his clan do not train as much in the art as other clans…"

"Heheh. Girlie's done for…" Kagari chuckled as he watched what seemed like the end of the fight with interest.

"Now I remember!" Naruto claimed as he pounded a fist in his hand. "Zangetsu is the name of that sword that Strawberry guy Ero-nii told me about!" He blinked as he felt Tenten's chakra rise and go into the sword. "Ohhhh, so THAT's why she named the sword that…"

"Getsuga Tenshō…" Tenten muttered as she turned around and slashed at the cloud of insects. A large blast of chakra emerged from the sword and obliterated the cloud before racing onward and crashing into the arena wall with incredible force. The arena was quiet with shock as they processed what they had just seen.

Shino didn't show it through his clothes, but he was gaping with wide eyes. "Im-impressive…" He managed to stutter out. "Where did you get such a formidable weapon?"

Tenten smirked as she turned around again and hefted the cleaver on her shoulders. "I made it… and before you ask, that's the biggest I can make the blast. The original could cut the entire stadium in half if used right, but this is the best I could do in a month." She tapped the blade and a glowing blue seal revealed itself on the side of the blade temporarily. "The seal basically lets me store up chakra in the edge and release it in the middle of a swing. Unfortunately I haven't perfected it yet and I'm not that good at channeling chakra into something this big, so if I'm not careful I can overcharge it and make it blow up in my face, but I'm pretty close. For all intents and purposes, though, you can call it the first in a long line of fakes that I plan on making…"

Ghost's and Crypt's eyes rose considerably at that statement. They both had a good idea what the girl was talking about and they were going to beat the shit out of Scab until he fessed up his plans.

Shino nodded slowly before getting into fighting position again. He had no choice, he had to use his ace in the hole. He only hoped that he would be in decent enough shape to continue fighting in the later matches… or make a difference in the invasion.

Charging forward Shino focused on making sure that he was too close to his opponent to use that attack again, or else she would win without a doubt, but at the same time, he forced nearly his entire colony outside of his body and into two buzzing clouds while forming some seals…

Shibi's eyebrows raised considerably as he noticed what his son was doing. "That?! That's…"

Tenten started to panic as she saw the two clusters of insects spread out in different directions as she blocked an attack from Shino. She didn't want to admit it, but she was starting to run low on chakra and stamina, where Shino on the other hand looked fairly good due to the fact that the remaining insects in his body were feeding him some of his reserve stores of nutrients that he had prepared for the exams. While she was busy attacking, one of the swarms grazed her side, slashing it up considerably despite the small size of the individual insects, and stealing a fair chunk of her remaining reserves. The sensation felt like sandpaper mixed with cold water grating against her and leaving her more winded than before. Before she could properly react, the second cloud dove in from above and dealt similar damage across her back. It was clear to all the watching shinobi that Shino had the girl in an extremely bad position. He himself served as a distraction by fighting the girl in close combat and keeping her from escaping while his insects whittled at his opponent's body and reserves at the same time.

Swearing, Tenten threw Shino to the side with a desperate slash before propping Zangetsu on the ground with one hand and grabbing the scroll she had prepared for the match with the other. She was cutting it close as the scroll flew open just as the swarms ran at her at once with the clear intent to finish her off. The next thing anyone knew, the entire area of the grounds exploded in smoke, preventing anyone from seeing what was going on.

The arena was silent as they watched in anticipation of what would happen. Several minutes passed before they saw the result: a panting Tenten with a kunai in hand and an unraveled scroll by her feet standing over Shino, who was impaled with several dozen kunai and shuriken but still alive. Zangetsu was stabbed in the ground where the girl was once standing.

"I… concede…" Shino gasped out in pain before passing out.

Ghost nodded as he walked to the pair, filtering out the gas in the arena faster than normal as he did so. "Winner by surrender, Tenten Higurashi!"

The crowd erupted in both cheers and some boos. They had enjoyed the match greatly, but were disappointed that they had missed the final bit.

o. o. o.

"What?" Kurenai asked in shock. "How could Shino have been hit by Tenten in poor visibility when he's a tracking type? By all means, he should be the one who won in that situation…"

Kiba's nose twitched. "That smoke wasn't normal, Sensei. It smells weird. I think there might have been a special chemical in it that forces away Shino's bugs, and then Tenten just used a scroll loaded with kunai and shuriken and blasted the area where Shino was supposed to be. I bet that Shino was paralyzed since the gas probably affected the bugs in his body as well. You could ask Hinata what happened later since I bet she watched the entire thing with her Byakugan…"

Kurenai nodded as she watched Shino and Tenten get escorted to the medical bay. Regardless of what others said, it was a very impressive match, and she knew that even though he lost, Shino would definitely have a good shot at becoming a chūnin…

o. o. o.

"So, um… no hard feelings?" Shiki asked nervously as he turned slightly to Shibi. On one hand, he had just seen his daughter defeat a clan heeir with a sword he had never seen before. He could practically taste the money that would be offered to him within the next few years. On the other hand, his daughter had just made target practice out of the son of the man sitting next to him.

"No… there are none…" The man replied in a dazed tone. "Your daughter has created a most interesting blade… and her strategy to use chemicals to deter our insects was most effective. Even my colonies were affected by its potency…"

Shiki raised an eyebrow. "I sense a 'but' coming… something about that last technique your kid used?"

Shibi sighed. "That technique my son used is one that our clan has not seen or used for several years. It allows one's colony to attack an opponent in two different ways with each pass, physically damaging them and absorbing chakra at the same time. It is extremely difficult to control, and best used when dealing with multiple enemies for maximum efficiency, but only a handful of us have ever seen a clan member use two groups before. It takes an extremely large amount of concentration and focus to perform… but to do that in tandem with advanced taijutsu is unheard of. I will have to speak with my son after today's… events about this."

o. o. o.

"An impressive match." Chuckled the Kazekage. "I will have to remember to ask the girl how to make a sword like that after the Exams. A tool such as that can have interesting possibilities."

Kurotsuchi laughed. "Definitely. First on my list is using it to scare away all the annoying perverts back in Iwa. Large swords are a huge deterrent. Ones that fire huge blasts of chakra can get rid of the rest of them."

Sarutobi nodded slowly. "Indeed. Just don't be disappointed if she turns you down. Something tells me she's going to be keeping this line of weapons a secret."

"What the hell are you feeding your kids these days, Saru?!" Ōnoki stated disbelievingly. "I might have expected this from genin with several years' experience, but most of these brats just got out of the academy!"

"Careful boss, some might mistake that as a sign that you're actually impressed with these matches." Rōshi chuckled.

o. o. o.

Yugito moaned in her head as she noted the reactions of Bee's students. It had been hard enough to deal with Omoi and Samui when they first saw Karui's new sword and explained how they got it, but now she had to deal with trying to keep them away from the store AGAIN so that they wouldn't try to get their hands on a sword that had the potential to be considered on the level of the Seven Swordsmen's blades. No doubt the weapon would cost even more than the freebie that Scabbard had given them, and she didn't want to deal with the Raikage when he finally got word of what happened here.

"… Karui, can your sword do that?" Omoi asked his teammate fearfully. "I mean… you got it from the same place that the girl works at, right?"

Karui frowned. "Of course not, you idiot! She said it herself, she made that sword! Mine was made by that short, green haired Ōgakari guy!" She paused before looking down at the arena grounds. "Wait… didn't the proctor say his name was Ōgakari, too? You think they're cousins or something?"

Samui sighed, shaking her head. "Honestly, you get a brand new weapon from the maker himself and you didn't even bother to find out anything about him to make sure that you're not being taken advantage of? How on earth did you ever make it to chūnin?"

"Care to repeat that, Tits McGee?!" Karui growled as she reached over her shoulder for her sword over.

"They're brothers." Yugito sighed, snapping them out of their argument. A few rows below her, she could see Fū hunched over and desperately trying not to burst out laughing. "The Ōgakari clan is a new clan in Konoha, and they currently have five members. Three brothers, a sister, and a grandfather. According to the general population, all of them are a bit odd in their own way, some more than others, but it is rumored that they are all extremely strong."

She nodded to Ghost, who was waiting for the next contestants and scratching his backside with no attempt to hide what he was doing. "That one right there supposedly shattered the village's record for fastest time to complete an S-ranked assassination mission 5 times over, but of course, that's just a rumor since no village would let out information like that so easily." She gave a lazy look to her companions, who were listening intently to her. "… you do realize that all I had to do was ask a civilian to learn all of these things. This sort of information is common in this town. I would have expected you to have at least learn some of this while we were here, being in a ninja village and all."

The three students faltered and looked away with guilt, grumbling about some sort of excuse or another, causing Yugito to smile slightly. Still, she was going to have a few words with Bee about training his students in information gathering when she got back…

She looked back down at the arena, where she saw the next two contestants on the field… but she noticed that the proctor himself was starting to get a bit more energetic. Was this fight supposed to be that good, or maybe he was getting impatient for the invasion?

o. o. o.

Shikamaru sighed as he started to walk down the stairs to the arena floor to face Temari. Said kunoichi had done a repeat performance and glided onto the field via her giant fan. Being the lazy bastard that he was, the Nara decided to use his legs. Luckily, Naruto had decided to not push him over the railings like last time, so he shouldn't have a massive headache while fighting her this time. Still, he didn't actually want to regain his position as chūnin again. It was so much work, and he didn't want to have to deal with organizing several Chūnin Exams all over again… especially since he was one of the people that had to tell the families of the participants who died what had happened. He could do without that.

Honestly, he wanted nothing more than to get the matches over with. His 'training' with Shadow had pretty much ensured that he could beat Temari. Hell, if he had even close to enough chakra, he would hazard a guess and say that he could even overwhelm Gaara if he actually tried and the conditions were right… heh, like he would ever do that. Still, the techniques he learned and made during the past month were beyond anything he had ever expected to experience. He didn't even actually learn the techniques themselves as he more often than not simply understood the properties and structures behind them.

What he could say for certain was that if there actually was an absolute god, then it definitely was a being of pure darkness.

Bah, what he really wanted was to see Naruto's match. He knew for a fact that the blonde and the Hyūga were the strongest people in these exams… minus Gaara, of course. Even if Naruto couldn't use Rasengan, Sage Mode, or the Kyūbi's chakra, the fight would definitely be something worth watching. He stepped outside and took in the view. From the way Ghost was acting, he knew it too.

"It's about damn time, you lazy bum!" Temari and Ghost shouted at once, causing them to pause and look at each other oddly before shrugging and turning back to Shikamaru.

"I'm sorry for being so troublesome." The boy replied with a less than enthusiastic tone as he got into his position. ' _Good. I'm closer to the trees, and the sun is starting to set behind me'._ "Let's just get this over with already…"

Temari's eyebrow twitched. This brat was taking her lightly! She was initially going to let him have a few minutes to show off what he had, but all bets were off now. She put a hand on her fan. As long as she stayed away from his shadow, she had nothing to worry about… He may have beaten her constantly at shōgi, but real fights were a whole different game. At least she would knock his weak ass out long enough so he wouldn't get himself killed in the invasion. Lord knows he looks weak enough to get taken out by a rogue shuriken.

Ghost smirked, knowing exactly what was going through the pair's minds as they got into position. "We're getting close to the end of the first round my friends, and let me tell you that the fights just keep on getting better and better! Allow me to introduce this match's contestants! Temari of the Desert vs. Shikamaru Nara!"

The screen showed the combatant's statistics before zooming in on Temari, revealing a digital girl swinging a massive fan to make even larger gales and whirlwinds. "Temari is the eldest child of the current Kazekage, and as such has a large amount of skill and experience under her belt." The screen shows her fighting against the massive Chōji, using her fan in quick succession to finish the match. "Despite being practically royalty, this girl has no problems getting her hands dirty. Her wind techniques are of the highest quality, and she certainly knows how to use them to their greatest effect. She is in fact the oldest of this exam's participants, so it is no doubt that she has the most combat experience out of all of them as well."

The arena echoed with polite clapping and cheers as the girl bowed before Ghost continued.

"Then again, her opponent is something to watch out as well." The screen turned to Shikamaru and revealed his stats and picture. Many people then noticed that his intelligence was maxed out, much to the boy's ire. The screen then changed to show the boy's digital counterpart, who just stood there and yawned. "Shikamaru Nara, member of Team 10, heir to Konoha's shadow wielding Nara clan, is for a fact the laziest person in these Exams." Ghost chuckled. "His hobbies include cloud watching and playing shōgi with his sensei, Asuma Sarutobi, son of our current Hokage, and he is most afraid of his mother." Shikamaru's eyebrow twitched as the audience started to laugh at him. Even Temari was desperately trying to suppress a smirk as Ghost continued. "Followed by his teammate Ino Yamanaka." More laughter echoed through the arena, though a distinct yell of rage was heard from the fighter's box.

"However, he is also one of today's many dark horses." Ghost announced as the screen showed his fight with Kin, and displayed how he had trapped and knocked her out with incredible ease. "Out of all the preliminary match contestants that actually fought, Shikamaru displayed the smallest number of skills and abilities, taking down his opponent with a single low-ranked clan technique." He let his words set in before continuing. "From what we've seen so far today from many of our other participants from Konoha, there is no doubt that he has more moves stored away for special occasions. The only question for now is: will we get to see them?" The man stepped back a few dozen paces. "We're about to find out anyways folks! Temari of the Desert vs. Shikamaru Nara! FIGHT!"

Temari didn't miss a heartbeat as she withdrew her fan and opened it, swinging in a practiced motion as her opponent… ran away. He was still facing her, but it didn't help that the boy that she had somewhat taken interest in's first move was to put more distance between them. "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!" (Art of the Sickle-Weasel) She roared angrily as the wind erupted from her fan. This brat was making fun of her! The massive gale picked up the fleeing Nara, increasing the distance between the pair and sent him flying until he almost hit the wall of the arena.

"Ow… I think I shouldn't have pissed her off that much… there was more chakra in that attack than there should have been…" Shikamaru grumbled as he casually picked himself off of the ground while rubbing his head. He was already cut in several places, even if he was going with the direction of the attack. Future training or not, a few more of those attacks and he would be finished. To his right, he saw the small forest of trees, just barely grazing the arena's shadow and continuing to encircle about a fourth of the perimeter. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Temari about to swing her fan again in order to finish him off. Boy, was she going to be surprised. Calming down, the boy formed a rat seal and focused his chakra into his shadow and the shadow that he was currently in.

"Kamaitachi no Jutsu!" Temari repeated as she swung her fan, kicking up large amounts of dust and hoping to take down her opponent. The crowd watched with mild interest. Sure, the fight seemed a bit one-sided at the moment, but the girl's wind techniques were certainly worth watching. Their views on the match changed though, when the dust cleared and, instead of a butchered pineapple-headed boy, they saw a pitch black dome.

Shikaku's eyes widened momentarily. "Well, that's certainly interesting. I've never heard of someone using their shadows like that before…"

The dome receded back into the ground, leaving a smirking but vest-less Shikamaru for all to see, in the same condition as he was before the attack started. "I think it's time I did something, too." The boy grinned as a thin shadow raced from the arena's shadow towards the temporarily stunned girl. Temari immediately snapped out of her delirium before jumping back quickly. She knew from watching the preliminaries that if she got caught, it was over for her. She continued to backtrack for a while before the shadow suddenly stopped. Pausing, the girl analyzed what was going on and looked at her opponent. "I get it now…" She mumbled as she analyzed her situation. "You have a limit as to how far and how long you can manipulate your shadow. As long as I stay out of its range, I have nothing to worry about…" She eyed Shikamaru's position and saw that he was in the shadow of the arena. "I'm guessing that he can use the arena's shadow to lengthen his own, but he can't manipulate that shadow like he can his own…" She smirked as she readied her fan again. "Oh well, I can still hit him from this range. Even if Kamaitachi can't get through that defense of his, Daikamaitachi should do the trick. It's a good thing I practiced it just in case…"

"Temari! Above!" Shouted Kankurō from the rafters as everyone watching noticed what Temari didn't.

"Above…?" Temari mumbled curiously as she looked up and saw an odd sight. Shikamaru's missing vest, which she had assumed had been shredded beyond known reason in one of her previous attacks, was being used as a parachute with a kunai holding the ends together. "What the heck…?!" She started to panic as she saw the IFO (Identified Flying Object) sink to the ground and make a shadow, right in front of Shikamaru's shadow. She swore as she jumped back and the small line shot forward towards her again. Once again she started to panic as the black line moved farther than she had calculated, but started to smirk as it started to veer to her right, allowing her to dodge to the left. Apparently the boy's aim started to go at long distances. "You faked the limit of how long you could stretch your shadow, didn't you?" Temari called out as the attack froze in its spot again. "Then you used the combined increased ranges of the parachute's shadow and the unused range in order to try and catch me off guard. You're pretty crafty…"

Shikamaru smirked. "You found me out, eh? Not bad." He withdrew his shadow, more than likely to save chakra. "I doubt you'll be able to get a good hit on me from there, though. My Kageheki (Shadow Barrier/Shadow Wall) is strong enough to take on a couple of Chōji's attacks head on, so you'll have to be a bit closer if you want to win." He pointed up to the sun. "Oh, and you better make your decision pretty soon, 'cause it's getting pretty late…"

Temari's eyes widened as she realized what Shikamaru was telling her. The more time she wasted, the more the sun was going to drop and the larger the arena's shadow, and thus Shikamaru's range, would become, PLUS the boy was directly between her and the sun, so she was fighting with some of her vision impaired as well. It wasn't that bad yet, but as time moved on, her vision would gradually get worse. True, she was trained in the desert and as such was used to such conditions, but when fighting an opponent like this, she needed all the help she needed. She mentally swore.

This was a perfect way to spread her concentration without exposing himself. Even with extensive training, she would naturally divert her attention between the position of the sun, the size of the arena's shadow, Shikamaru, and HIS shadow since she didn't know if he was telling the truth again about the limit of his range. The only thing going for her was that all the things she had to keep an eye on were right in front of her, and the parachute that Shikamaru had thrown up earlier had fallen to the ground. Still, she had to think of a plan to end this, and fast. Opening up her fan and planting it into the ground so that he couldn't see her, the girl came up with a quick plan. She would use a clone to get his attention, and in the meantime she would jump out and close as much distance as she could before unleashing a Daikamaitachi to win the fight. She was about to finish the first technique when her body froze. "Wha…?" She stammered. "I can't move my body!"

"Shadow Imitation Technique… success." Shikamaru smirked as he split his hands and stood up, forcing Temari to do the same.

"All right Shikamaru!" Ino cheered.

"About damn time." Chuckled Naruto.

Gaara stared quietly at the fight.

"H-How?!" Temari asked as she and Shikamaru started to walk to each other. "I was out of your range… you don't even have a shadow connecting to me!"

Shikamaru sighed as he turned his head. "Let me show you."

Temari looked behind her and gasped. There was a shadow coming from the trees from her left and connecting to her own from behind her. "No way… then that time your shadow veered to the right… was a fluke?"

Shikamaru yawned as he continued to walk forward. "Yep. I used the fact that the trees over there were near the arena's shadow to extend my reach without you noticing, but it would still take time for it to get from there to you, so I just shortened the distance."

The girl frowned. Why the hell had the boy switched plans like that so suddenly? He had been so intent on getting her up front, and had even told her about the time limit she had with the sun… Her eyes widened. It had been all played out! He had done all of that in order to keep her eyes right in front of her while the shadow traveled to the side out of her sight! She started to shiver as the gap between them closed. Exactly how many steps ahead of her did he plan?

o. o. o.

"Not bad." Ōnoki grumbled as he watched the fight with interest. "The brat knows how to come up with a decent plan, that's for sure. He's better in that regard than most of my chūnin. Got my vote."

The Hokage nodded. "I have heard of the boy's tactical prowess from my son's mission reports, but to be honest, this is the first time I have actually seen it in action. It is very refreshing to see that not all of my genin are all about the flashy attacks." He turned to the Kazekage. "I hope you are not sore about your daughter's performance, Kazekage-dono."

Said leader shook his head. "Not at all, Hokage-dono. In fact, I see this as a sort of blessing. One rarely comes across a shinobi of this kind in the field and survives. It will be a valuable experience for her, one that I have little doubt she will learn from very soon…"

o. o. o.

Shikamaru and Temari stood in front of each other. One with a bored look and the other absolutely terrified. The arena was quiet as everyone watched in anticipation to see what happened next.

Shikamaru formed some seals, and an extremely cold and odd feeling slowly crawled up Temari's legs. "This right here is what my clan calls the Shadow Neck Bind Technique. I doubt I have to tell you what it does." Shikamaru sighed as Temari's eyes widened. "You have two options at this point: troublesome and not. Troublesome involves you passed out with marks on your neck and me using more chakra than I want to. Not involves you giving up and both of us walking away." The cold feeling was now at her waist and still ascending. "Your call."

Temari shivered as the cold feeling reached up to her chest. Try as she might, she couldn't break free of the technique. She was beat, and she knew it. Deep down inside, she had hoped to defeat the boy in order to prevent him from going up against her brother in the next match, and hopefully save his life, but that wasn't an option now. "I… concede…" Temari admitted in a regretful voice.

"Well OKAY then!" Ghost shouted cheerfully from the side of the pair, MUCH closer than either of them had guessed he would be. The shock broke Shikamaru's concentration and the technique canceled, allowing Temari to run a good few paces away from the man. "Winner by forfeit! Shikamaru Nara!"

The audience erupted in cheers as the announcement was made. True, it was not what they had been expecting, but it was an extremely impressive match none the less. Many of the experienced shinobi in the crowd made note to keep an eye on the kid, as they knew that he would go far later on if he survived being a chūnin.

o. o. o.

"Mmm." Kuma pondered. "The kid is good. I wouldn't mind working with him if given the chance… having a brain like that on your side does wonders for mission efficiency. It's not often that you come across someone with that kind of brain power."

Rika pouted. "But if it were an option between him and me, you would obviously pick me, right Kuma-kun?"

Kuma looked at his girlfriend with a small smile on his face. "Well… that depends on what kind of mission it is…"

Zurich burst out laughing as Rika attempted to throttle her massive boyfriend in childish rage. To be honest, he would have picked the kid over Rika 3 to 1. Sure, she had her skills, but the kid sure could plan ahead. Still, Kuma was right. It depended on what mission they were on. There were some things that Rika was better suited for than the Nara kid, and vice versa. It just so happened that the kid's brain made him suited for more things than Rika's current set of skills. He smirked, still, it wasn't as if he had to let his teammate know about that fact just yet…

"Regardless, I think we should hold off on our arguing for later, the brat's match is up next…" Kuma grumbled, immediately calming down his companions.

"Oh yeah…" Rika said as she loosened her grasp on her boyfriend's massive neck. "I wonder how well his opponent will do against him. I personally put all my money on him winning the entire event…"

"Because if he doesn't, you'd have lost to someone who couldn't take down a handful of chūnin hopefuls..." Zurich chuckled. "Wouldn't that suck?"

Kuma sighed as he attempted to ignore Rika trying to throttle Zurich. He didn't tell anyone, but Ghost had hinted that this oncoming match would be worth watching during one of their hidden meetings. He didn't know why, but for some reason he was getting nervous with anticipation. He started to wonder how strong Minato's son really was…

o. o. o.

Hanabi shifted constantly in her seat as she waited for the next fight to start. All the previous fights were very good. She had even noticed her father making subtle gestures that indicated his amusement, especially in the last battle, but they were going to be nothing compared to this fight. It was the main reason why she had come in the first place, arguing with her father for a good three hours before he finally gave up under the condition that she did not leave his side for a moment. The man may have been a Hyūga clan leader, but even his patience wavered under the pressure of a determined little girl.

Still, she had been observant enough to know that the clan elders behind her were also anxious to see Hinata's match. There had been much speculation over the past year as to what exactly Hinata had learned and made while under the tutelage of the Ōgakari, and despite the massive change there were still quite a few on the council that doubted her prowess. This upcoming fight would determine where Hinata would stand in their clan.

o. o. o.

In the infirmary:

"All right! All four of you are healed!" Hana claimed proudly as she sat in front of Neji, Lee, Shino and Tenten. "I could only do so much for Tenten since she's still in the match, but at the very least she should be in the same condition as her opponent by the time her next match comes around."

"No problem, Sensei." Tenten replied with a shrug. "I didn't want that kind of handicap anyways."

"Yes!" Lee shouted. "Thank you very much Hana-sensei for healing us! Now we can see the rest of the matches in person instead of watching them on the television!" Lee pointed to the large screen on the side of the wall that showed Shikamaru and the trapped Temari walking towards each other.

"Much appreciated, Hana-sensei." Shino mused as he put his coat back on quietly.

Neji saw Shino's bracer's condition and raised an eyebrow. "I must apologize, Shino, but Hana-sensei was treating me during your match, so I missed most of it. What did Tenten use against you that caused such marks on your bracers?"

Shino paused before putting the last of his clothing on. "… Zangetsu." He muttered before walking to the door.

Neji and Lee paled as they turned to their blushing teammate. "You used THAT against Shino?!" The asked in unison.

Tenten's explanation was cut short when they heard Ghost's announcement that Shikamaru won. "Oh, would you look at that, Shikamaru's match is over. Well, come on guys, you don't want to miss Hinata's and Naruto's match, right?!" Tenten asked incredibly quickly before she dashed out the door. Neji and Lee blinked before Tenten's words registered. Soon enough, Hana was left alone in the room with a passed out Oboro in a bed in the corner.

It was only then that she had allowed herself to collapse on the floor and give herself a chance to relax. She had been constantly active all morning long, and had immediately returned to the arena after taking down the second cell in order to heal the genin. Luckily none of their wounds were too serious, but the extra drain on her reserves was something she didn't want to deal with at the moment.

Her hounds were resting just outside the doorway, but Zabuza, Anko and Shadow were still in the woods waiting for her return. The group of them had taken out the first platoon easily enough. With Zabuza's mist as cover, he and Anko's poisonous snakes would sneak in and start killing as many as they could without setting off any alarms. Then when things did go bad and the enemy started to escape, she, her hounds, and Anko would pick them off. Shadow just hummed some random tune in the background, which helped in its own way as the song seemed to freak out many of the more inexperienced invaders and cause them to do something stupid. It was an extremely efficient strategy that worked wonders, but things didn't go so well for them with the second squad they ambushed.

Unlike the first, who required many of the members to stay still due to their summoning rituals, the second was an assault squad, and happened to have a decent enough sensor among them. Zabuza barely had enough time to set up the mist cover before the fight began. Luckily, all three of them (and Hana's hounds) were experienced trackers and skilled in fighting with low visibility, but it still didn't help that they were up against 25 opponents. It had taken longer than expected, and at one point she had a close call with one of Anko's larger summons almost eating her by mistake, but in the end they had managed to take out all 25 of the Oto shinobi. Luckily since there was only 3 opponents, the enemy didn't think that it was necessary to inform their allies about being discovered until there were only 10 of them left, and by then more than half of the remaining forces had been bitten at least once by one of Anko's snakes. Still, the main battle had yet to begin.

She could still relax though knowing that her treatments had ensured that most of the genin would be in decent condition for the war. That being said, she decided to take her time going to the arena. Maybe she would get a snack on the way there to replenish her energy on the way. It wasn't as if she was pressed for time at the moment… though it would be best to change her clothes. She had a sneaking suspicion that Shino detected the blood on her clothes that she had tried to hide. That boy was always keener than the rest of his classmates…

o. o. o.

Hinata turned to Naruto and smiled nervously. "W-well, we're up Naruto-kun…" She stuttered, her nervousness catching up to her.

Naruto chuckled as he started to stretch out his limbs. "Bout damn time! I thought I was going to go nuts watching all these awesome fights before I got to have a go!"

"Oi dobe." Sasuke growled. "I still have to wait for another 3 fights AFTER this one before I have a turn."

Naruto waved Sasuke off with a wave of his hand. "Yeah, but you're Emo, not ADD and hyperactive, so your input doesn't matter."

"Oh, you did NOT just say that about Sasuke-kun…" Ino growled as she took out a kunai before Sakura stopped her.

"Now Ino, you can't do that here. You might get disqualified before we get a chance to fight." Sakura lectured before walking to a somewhat more relaxed Naruto… before picking him up and launching him screaming over the railing, much to everyone's shock. "We can do THAT though, since we can claim that we helped him get to the grounds faster." She then turned to Hinata. "Go kick his ass, Hinata. It's the only way to get anything through his thick skull. Maybe then he'll pay more attention to you." She winked quickly, making sure only Hinata saw it.

"U-Um… Right!" Hinata stammered nervously before dashing down the stairs before anyone else could talk to her.

Sasuke turned to Sakura. "You did that to get back at him for all the crap he put us through this past year, didn't you?"

Sakura looked shocked. "Sasuke, do you really think I'm that petty?" Everyone else in the room was listening in on their conversation now. "I mean honestly, one tiny throw onto his head is my revenge for all that? What do you take me for? That right there was just for what he said about you. I'm still biding my time before I truly get back at him for all the things he's done to me."

Everyone in the room aside from Team 7 and Gaara face faulted.

Sasuke smirked as he turned back to the arena. "I thought as much." He sighed. "You better not lose, dobe…"

It was then that Shino, Tenten, Lee, Neji, Temari and Shikamaru returned into the room. "Hey guys!" Tenten cheerfully announced. "What did we miss?"

o. o. o.

Ghost smirked as he looked at Naruto, whose head was stuck in the ground with his body sticking out like an obscure plant, twitching every few seconds. It made him feel much better about himself knowing he wasn't the only person that was occasionally treated like a sandbag. Sure, if it was anyone else, they would have to be sent to the hospital for extreme spinal injuries, but this was what legendary powerful animal spirits were for, healing the human body after getting injured in obscenely painful ways. Seriously, what other reason was there for these things to exist?

"You need help?" He asked curiously as Hinata slowly made her way to the center of the field.

Naruto flipped the man the bird before somehow managing to dislodge himself from the earth and shaking himself free of dust. "Why does this stuff keep on happening to me?" He groaned as he tried to get the dirt out of his eyes.

"Because it's funny." Ghost shrugged.

"Umm, shouldn't we get the fight started soon?" Hinata asked nervously, looking at the giant crowd of people watching their every move.

Ghost yawned. "Give him a minute to clean himself off. I'll start things off soon enough." He turned to the girl. "You ready?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes, but being in front of a large crowd doesn't help that much."

The man sighed. "That's what acting like a moron is for. It helps you forget all that crap. Maniacal laughter isn't just for announcing diabolical plans, you know. It's a wonderful stress reliever. Hell, half the evil villains I know of do it subconsciously in order to get rid of all the anxiety in their bodies. The other half… well, they are in fact that crazy."

Hinata deadpanned. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I come across someone like that."

"Please do." Ghost replied. "Oi blondie! You ready?"

"Go ahead, Ero-nii. I'm just busy trying to plan out my revenge on Sakura." Naruto answered.

"Will do." Ghost nodded before he turned on his speakers again. "Sorry for the wait, everyone. Blondie here had a bad date with the floor."

"LIAR! THE FLOOR NEVER HAS BAD DATES!" Shouted a random and hysteric voice from somewhere in the arena.

Ghost sighed. "Anyways, let's get on with the next match, shall we?" The screen displayed Naruto and Hinata's pictures and information." Right now, we have in my opinion a _very_ promising fight between Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyūga." The screen zoomed in on Naruto, showing more of his stats and a blocky Naruto making clones and slashing with his fox talons. "Naruto Uzumaki, the second member of Team 7. Currently known as the Prankster King of Konoha, there isn't a person in this village that has not heard of this boy's exploits. His most memorable stunts so far involve painting the Hokage monument in a single night," the screen shows said monument after Naruto had gotten through with it, "Covering the Inuzuka clan compound with catnip," Another picture shows the entire compound as a warzone between cats and dogs, "And my personal favorite, super-gluing sunglasses and handicap sticks to many elder members of the Hyūga Clan." The screen revealed a picture of many then-Main house elders walking around the compound wearing sunglasses and holding the white sticks that are often held by blind people. The audience was in an uproar of laughter as Ghost and Naruto felt a fair amount of killing intent from several parts of the audience.

Naruto glared at Ghost. He was still innocent of the Hyūga event up until a minute ago, and he had no doubt that he was going to get the shit kicked out of him by the entire clan if it weren't for the fact that the war would probably distract everyone from doing so.

Ghost took in the laughter before sighing and resuming his role as proctor. "Regardless of these stunts, folks, it would be unwise to underestimate this kid. I must remind you that he is one of the two boys that performed the large scale jutsu at the beginning of today's events." He paused, letting his words sink in. "Naruto is well known for having inhuman levels of chakra and stamina, and this allows him to use the Shadow Clone Technique to extremely high effect. In addition to this, he has proven to be extremely adept at using wind style techniques, being able to compose his chakra almost effortlessly…" The screen showed the fight between Lee and Naruto again, but this time it revealed moments where Naruto shone. The audience started to quiet down more as they saw Naruto on the big screen fight toe to toe with Lee, using his blades and moving extremely quickly. Using his shadow clones to great effect and various wind techniques in the process. The crowd got deathly quiet when it showed Naruto fighting against Lee when they were going all out, with the blonde boy's eyes turning blood red. Finally, it showed the final scene where Lee had walked up to Naruto in the crater after he had performed the Reverse Lotus, only to have a wind chakra blade sticking out of his stomach seconds later and the clone in the crater poofing out of existence. "This kid has serious potential, folks, and I wouldn't be surprised if he won the entire thing." He smiled as he turned his attention to Hinata.

"Buuuut then again, his opponent is not someone to disregard either." He continued as the screen then shifted to Hinata's stats and picture, showing a small white eyed video game girl throwing quick rapid strikes before performing what seemed to be the Kaiten. "Hinata Hyūga is the current heiress of the Hyūga clan, and a member of Team 8 with Shino Aburame. Small, quiet, and absolutely deadly, this girl took out her opponent in the fastest freaking time in the preliminaries at 4.76 seconds. I seriously blinked and the entire thing was over." The screen shifted to show Hinata's fight, rushing into Mubi's guard while dodging the thrown shuriken in a single moment and shutting down his tenketsu the next. Unlike Naruto's video, people cheered loudly for Hinata, causing both of them to frown momentarily.

o. o. o.

Kiba laughed. "Heheh. Ouch. You got your ass handed to you and now everyone knows about it. That's gotta suck, dude."

Mubi glared at Kiba. "Humph. Well, her luck's run out. That bitch is facing that monster this time. There is no way she can make it out of this fight with her pride intact…"

"I would appreciate it if you did not speak like that about my student, or I will have to have a few words with some of your superiors." Kurenai growled, causing the boy to let up on some of his killing intent.

Kiba smirked. "Ah, leave him alone, Sensei. It will distract you from the match, and I doubt you want to miss this."

Kurenai sighed. "You're right, Kiba. I shouldn't have reacted like that…"

"No, you totally should have." Kiba interrupted. "It's just that no matter what you do, having Hinata kick his ass and then display it in front of everyone else is kind of hard to top, so I wouldn't bother trying to."

Kurenai sweat dropped. "Erm… right."

o. o. o.

Ghost smirked as he pulled the hood of his coat over his eyes and took off his glasses, getting odd looks from many members of the audience and focused looks from those who knew what it meant. "Ladies and gentlemen, you may not know what these kids are capable of, but I do, and let me assure you if there is any fight you absolutely have to watch today, it would be this one." He took a few dozen steps back, motioning for the pair to get into position. "Naruto Uzumaki vs. Hinata Hyūga." He said calmly, causing the audience to quiet down a bit. Naruto and Hinata started to focus their chakra, both using their sensory techniques to the greatest degree possible. Both were calm and still, waiting for the battle to begin.

"Fight."

The pair immediately charged towards each other with incredible speed, both deciding to have their gravity seals off for this important fight. Naruto made the first move as he whipped out his right arm with the extendable fox talon reaching well over five meters in length in an attempt to deal the first blow. Hinata on the other hand decided to disappoint him as she blocked the attack with one of her glowing blue hands before deflecting it up and thrusting out her other hand in a twisting motion, firing one of her Heaven Bullets at her opponent. Naruto immediately reacted by dashing himself in a circular motion around Hinata so he was behind her, and using the momentum to continue spinning and slash her with his other arm with his initial blade right behind it. Hinata didn't miss a beat as she jumped and spun in midair, dodging between the blades and whipping out one of her hands before landing on one of her feet. Naruto seemed to have flinched as he jumped to his side, forming seals. Hinata saw this and charged her chakra again, throwing out another Heaven Bullet just as Naruto blasted out an Atsugai. The two attacks collided with an intense explosion before Naruto's attack plowed through, forcing Hinata to dodge, but barely managing to graze her side in the process, tearing up a small piece of her coat.

The shinobi in the audience were gaping. These two kids were performing well beyond their supposed skill range, performing techniques that they had either never heard of or had assumed that they didn't have enough chakra or control to perform. Hiashi himself had never even seen Hinata use any of the techniques she had shown already aside from the technique she used to block the wind blade, and the efficiency she was using them at was astounding.

Likewise, Naruto's dexterity with his techniques was just as profound, not only being able to use extremely high level offensive ninjutsu and taijutsu in quick succession, but also apparently being in the possession of an unnamed maneuvering technique as well. He could tell with his eyes that the boy was employing something similar to his master's technique, but apparently was doing more with it than Ghost had shown to the populace. This most certainly was the match to watch.

Naruto smirked. "Not bad, Hinata-chan. You almost got me with that weird technique right there…" He smeared the blood off of his cheek, where a fresh cut had been made. "I'm having trouble healing it. Was that one of the jutsu you made? It felt like a whip from the way it moved. I couldn't even see it. It's really scary…"

Hinata nodded as she got back into position. "It's my Chakra Whip, though I haven't worked on it as much as some of my other techniques, so it doesn't last more than a few seconds. I was hoping to talk to a puppet master in order to perfect it since it is very similar to chakra strings, but I haven't had the chance yet."

Naruto took in a deep breath. "You made it after the second step or the third?"

Hinata smiled. "Third, but it uses the second as well in order to reach as far as it did."

"I see…" He mumbled as several dozen clones emerged in an equal number of clouds of smoke. "Shall we continue, my fair maiden?"

The girl giggled a few times before lowering into her stance. "Let's."

o. o. o.

"Impressive… most impressive." The Kazekage mused as he intently watched the match below. The fight could be truly compared to an elegant but wild dance right now as the two spun, slashed, and blasted each other, neither doing more than a small cut at the most when the attacks actually did hit. "These two show far more promise than the others, Hokage-dono. Their skill is comprisable to many experienced special jōnin, and their range of techniques is on that level as well…"

"Humph…" Ōnoki grumbled as he skeptically watched the fight. "These two seem to know each other's moves pretty well, Saru. Something tells me that they've had extra training from the same person… though I must admit that they are both pretty good…" He glanced over to his other side, giving Kurotsuchi a warning look as the girl seemed to be losing herself again at the sight of the boy.

The Hokage sighed. "I admit, we do have a new training program set up for genin teams that seems to be more effective than our earlier systems. As for who trained these two in particular, you don't have to look anywhere besides the arena floor…"

"You mean to tell us that the proctor has had a hand in training the genin in this exam?" The Kazekage asked curiously. "Don't you think you are bending the rules a bit by allowing someone with a connection to the participants to judge these matches?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "No. I have known Ghost for a while, and know for a fact that he would not do anything in these fights unless it was to save their lives. In fact, he has taken a great interest in this fight in particular, seeing as he started training these two before they had even been registered as genin. Naruto is actually his disciple of sorts, and has taught him many techniques. To do anything that would interfere would be the farthest thing from his mind at the moment. He is an extremely experienced individual who knows the true value of a loss. That is one of the many reasons why I made him the proctor for this event." He watched as Hinata performed Kaiten, destroying a good half a dozen clones in the process before rushing out of the fading dome and striking another two blondes, causing them to explode into clouds of smoke as well. "Although you must admit that he has done a wonderful job training the genin… and no, you can't have him, Ōnoki…"

o. o. o.

Naruto chuckled excitedly as he replaced himself with another clone just before Hinata's chakra whip would have ripped off his arm. This fight was intense! He had known that Hinata was extremely strong, but in all their previous fights, the pair had held back tremendously in order to make sure that they didn't kill each other.

But this time was different. This time, they were truly fighting, and both were having incredible amounts of fun in the process. Neither one could get a decent hit on the other, regardless of the tricks, techniques, strategies, and speed they were employing. Naruto's maneuverability and evasion techniques were matched by Hinata's agility and flexibility. Naruto's talons were countered by Hinata's pure chakra control. Naruto's wind techniques were in turn countered by Hinata's Kaiten and Heaven Bullet. Likewise Naruto's clones often got in one another's way at one point or another, resulting in them getting picked off by Hinata with a simple tap.

The fighting had escalated even further when Hinata revealed that she could fire her Heaven Bullets in a way that made them curve after being fired, as well as straighter and stronger versions of her chakra whip that could temporarily counter his chakra blades, and Naruto had resorted to exploding clones and firing several dozen wind techniques at once. Nothing worked for long. The current result was a stalemate, with Naruto having a small advantage due to his healing and larger chakra reserves, and they both knew it.

They also both knew that there was no way in hell that Naruto would accept a victory like that.

"Time to change tactics, I guess…" Naruto muttered to himself as he calmed down and focused heavily on all of his chakra, both inside and outside of his body… establishing his Presence for everyone to feel. The audience shivered as they felt the air become alive, growling, moving, stalking, watching. It was if a dangerous animal was always looking right over your shoulder, but disappeared like the shape of a cloud of smoke as soon as you looked.

o. o. o.

Zuzushi squeaked in a low pitch.

"I agree." Ghost chuckled darkly.

o. o. o.

"Not a bad feel, kid. I might want to taste your blood sooner than I thought…" Crypt giggled.

o. o. o.

Scabbard sighed as he felt Naruto's Presence. "Great. Just what we needed, another Ghost running around."

o. o. o.

Shadow turned her head towards the arena. "Something wrong, Shadow?" Anko asked curiously.

Shadow shook her head. "No. Blondie just decided to up the stakes of his fight, that's all. I wish I was there to see it happen."

o. o. o.

Hinata was stuck in place as she tried to comprehend what was happening around her. The chakra that Naruto had leaked into the air was going nuts! With her Byakugan active, it looked as if someone had just opened five of the world's largest stocks of glitter right above the arena and poured them all out at once! She could still see around her, but the clarity of her vision was extremely impaired now. Then there was that extremely unnerving feeling that she was experiencing… This was not looking good for her…

"Let's try this…" Naruto growled with glowing blue eyes as he made a small gesture with one of his arms. Immediately the wind around the arena grounds picked up at once, causing dust and dirt to explode in every direction and forcing Hinata to close her eyes in surprise, howling like a wild animal. True, she has had training to see in such conditions, but she still had to protect her dōjutsu from the initial attack or she could still be blinded by a stray flying pebble or stone.

The dust continued to spread outwards, but just before it reached the audience it stopped, as if it had hit some sort of circular wall that prevented it from going any further.

The wind continued to blow harshly in the arena, not enough to count as an attack, but definitely enough to be a strong distraction. Hinata knew that if she stayed still any longer, she would lose, so she ripped off the hem of her coat quickly and made a blind for herself so she could use her eyes without getting blinded. Activating her eyes again, she mentally swore as she made out at least 2 dozen shadow clones around her, none of which seemed to be bothered by the wind at all. Almost to prove her point, several of the clones charged towards her with their blades extended as if there wasn't a huge wind storm at all, which to her dismay were also somewhat hidden by the advanced air controlling technique. She did the only thing that came to her mint and started to use her chakra whips as much and as quickly as possible in order to stall for time, but even then, she was at a clear disadvantage. The wind threw off her whips and the clones continued to converge on her.

From outside the arena, the audience could see nothing but the occasional glow of blue light from Hinata's Kaiten as she defended herself, and could only hear the deep hollow roar of the wind inside the grounds.

She was going to lose if this kept up since there was no way she could hold off the clones in her current situation. She calmed down and tried to think despite the fact that it was getting hard to breathe. She was still somewhere near the middle of the arena floor, which was about 100 meters in diameter. From what she could see, all the possible Naruto's were at most 20 meters away from her current position. Given the current circumstances, Naruto would have to use his Seventh Sense technique in order to tell where anything was, since his normal visibility was as bad as hers at the moment.

She took in a deep breath and started to tap into the chakra storing crystal around her neck that Naruto and Ghost had given her for her birthday. Now was as good a time as ever to try out her final trick against Naruto. She only hoped it worked… and that what Ghost had told her was correct.

Naruto frowned. It was extremely difficult to hold this technique up for long periods of time. He wanted to get this match over with. If any more time was lost, it might have an effect on the invasion or his or Hinata's reserves for later on. He was just about to send in more of his clones to take down Hinata when he felt her chakra spike to incredibly high levels.

"DAIOH KAITEN (Great King Rotation)!" Hinata roared as she began to spin extremely fast and pumped out obscene levels of chakra, forming a dome that continued to grow larger and larger at an unreal pace.

Before Naruto could even start ordering his clones to move, however, they started to dispel all over the place. From their memories he could tell that they were getting hit with salvos of chakra whips and massive Heaven Bullets. THEN he noticed that Hinata's technique was disrupting his control over the air in the area, preventing him from seeing what was happening inside the dome. Swearing loudly, Naruto decided to run away from the monstrosity, barely managing to escape from the numerous chakra whips and blasts that came his way. It only took a few seconds for all of his clones to all dispel, leaving the original to deal with the attack itself. Of all the times to not be allowed to use Rasengan, it had to be against something that looked exactly like it, only 500 fucking times bigger!

Most of the dust he had kicked up had in fact been sucked up by the attack, getting rid of the smokescreen he had set up and giving the audience a clear view of what was happening, and all of them were gaping silently at the spectacle. Naruto was starting to lose hope of escaping from the dome when he felt the attack's chakra start to fade and the attacks stop...

"You are in the range of my divination…" Hinata burst out of the dome with incredible speed, shocking Naruto greatly as she started to land the first few blows. "2 palms! 4 palms! 8 palms! 16 palms! 32 palms! 64 PALMS!" She roared, assaulting Naruto constantly with sharp stabbing fingers until the final strike had blasted him far away from her.

The crowd watched in awe as they processed what they had seen. Many of the experienced shinobi were amazed that these two were mere genin when they showed prowess and skill that were easily on par with some jōnin, as well as the amount of stamina and preparation they possessed. The genin were wondering how the hell these two could have been so strong, and how they could even stand a chance against them.

Hinata didn't pay them any mind as she dropped to her knees and released her dōjutsu, panting heavily. Despite mainly using the chakra from the crystal for the last attack, she had physically pushed herself to the limits, and had already used most of her normal chakra stores before the last stunt. "I (gasp) did it. I won…"

A hand emerged from the ground and grabbed onto her leg, shocking everyone watching. "Earth-Style: Double Suicide Decapitation Technique…" Announced a familiar voice before Hinata was dragged underground until only her head was above the ground. Moments later, Naruto appeared from the ground next to Hinata and smiled, holding a kunai to her neck. "Actually, I think I won."

Hinata stared wide eyed at the blonde laughing softly. "I cannot fight any more. I surrender…"

Ghost seemed to appear out of nowhere next to the two genin, without a speck of dust on him or the dragon on his shoulder, but both seemed to be so exhausted that neither could react like they normally would. Nodding slowly, Ghost put on his glasses again and took off his hood. "Winner by forfeit! Naruto Uzumaki!" He turned to the grinning Naruto next to Hinata. "You can dispel yourself now. Good job with the gamble."

The identified clone chuckled sheepishly before dispelling himself. "Wait… if that's a clone then…" Hinata stated slowly as Ghost started to help her out of the ground.

"Yeah, you beat the living shit out of the original." Ghost chuckled as he turned to where Naruto was now on one knee, trying to pick himself back up.

"Did anyone get the number of that mountain that maimed me?" Naruto chuckled weakly as he attempted to heal himself.

"But… when?" Hinata asked, getting back to her feet.

"It was during that large ass dust storm that he made." Ghost answered. "Naruto probably knew that you had something up your sleeve to counter it, and he knew that when he ups the juice with the chakra in the air that dōjutsu get a lot of interference. So, he used the small diversion to get one of his clones underground. Although, I don't think he was expecting you to use that big-assed Kaiten of yours as a way to mask where you were inside it so you could get the jump on him. I think he was only able to cushion about a third of the blows you dealt to him by focusing large amounts of chakra to his front side." Ghost chuckled. "I guess you could say that if he wasn't so confident in your abilities, you would have actually won."

Naruto coughed as he managed to get on both his feet. "Shut up and get the medics here already. I only have about an hour and a half before my fight with that bastard, and I want to kick his ass when I'm at least in decent shape so I don't embarrass him too much…"

"He will die painfully…" Sasuke growled, having read Naruto's lips with his Sharingan active.

"I gotta say though." Ghost continued. "You did a great job using the Seventh Sense's weakness against him. Your timing was perfect, and that last Kaiten you used was extremely impressive…"

"Wait, back up…" Naruto interrupted. "You KNEW that the Kaiten could mask where the user was from our senses? And you didn't tell me?!"

"Oh, I didn't? It must have slipped my mind…" Ghost obviously lied with a grin on his face.

"If I could channel chakra, I would kill you SO slowly right now…" The blonde growled.

"Just shut up and bow for your audience." The proctor sighed, motioning to the crowd where an applause was starting to pick up pace.

Naruto and Hinata blinked momentarily before both smiling weakly and turning to the audience. Naruto attempted to bow, but since his tenketsu were still shut off, he fell flat on his face, getting several laughs. Hinata managed to complete the gesture while still staying on her two feet… before noticing that her coat had been torn to shreds and revealing her undershirt, mail shirt, and most importantly, her developing figure to everyone there. While she may have done some seduction training with Anko and… practiced a little on Naruto, she was still nowhere near prepared to expose herself even close to that much to the public. So, in standard Hinata fashion, her head turned a deep crimson red, and she passed out.

Ghost chuckled as he stood straight and allowed the medics to tend to both of the genin before he walked to the center of the arena, which at the moment looked as if a small meteor had hit it dead center after Hinata's final Kaiten, and addressed the crowd. "Now was that a fight or WHAT?!" The crowd's cheers grew even louder in response to Ghost's question.

They had no idea that this was still only the opening show.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ugh. I'm just going to try and get this out of the way as soon as possible so I can get back to my tons and tons of class work.

150,000 hits… I don't know, but I think that's pretty good… I think.

Art: There have been some really good additions over the past few months on my profile. Check them out.

Reviews: Do them… and stuff. Current goal is still 1k by chapter 50

Latest few chapters: better than usual, but if I don't see some Naru/Hina soon, I'm going to put maim Kishimoto on my list of things to do when I finally visit japan. It's one thing to put things off to develop other plot, it's another thing entirely to just completely forget about something that had a huge impact on the plot earlier in the story.


	40. And going and going and going and going…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 40: And going and going and going and going…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha Arena:

"… Magnificent…." Whispered the Kazekage as he witnessed the ending of the fight between the jinchūriki and the Hyūga. "… absolutely superb presentation of technique and power…"

Sarutobi said nothing as he too took in the fight. Even without using his extra chakra states, Naruto showed incredible skill and forethought, timing that last clone just right to capture his opponent with that trap he had wisely set up as a precaution. Hinata, too, had shown great proficiency with her technique and skill, fighting at a mid-range for most of the match when most Hyūga rely purely on taijutsu, then using several of her clan's most powerful techniques not only in conjunction, but modifying one to horrifyingly destructive proportions in order to win the match. He was surprised to even think that the girl had that much chakra in her! Should he actually live through the war, he would absolutely make sure that these two got promoted. Such skill and talent would be absolutely wasted on D- and C-ranked missions, and he would not allow the civilian council to fuck the boy's future up any more than it had already.

Ōnoki was silent. The blonde boy was certainly Minato's child. The determined look in his eyes screamed Namikaze, even if his demeanor and behavior were completely different. The boy's entrance for example, said nothing about his level of skill. In fact, landing on his head, he wondered if the lad had simply gotten lucky, getting this far into the Exams at all. His teammates were that pink haired girl and the last Uchiha, after all.

However, he remembered the clips from the fight with the odd spandex wearing boy's introduction. Any shinobi with combat experience would tell you without a moment's hesitation that facing against a taijutsu oriented shinobi that could open even one of the Inner Gates was extremely dangerous. Ōnoki knew enough about the practice to know that the odd child opened more than 3 gates in his fight against his opponent, and still lost.

A person couldn't attest to achieving such a feat unless they were EXTREMELY powerful, lucky beyond known reason, or had the right vocabulary of jutsu to get out of the way long enough for the Gates to backfire on the user.

He highly doubted that Minato's child would simply hide from his opponent to win a fight… especially after he had proven himself capable of getting those photos from the jōnin hot springs and lived to tell the tale. It took serious balls to do something like that.

"Heh." The short man chuckled. "Sorry, Saru, but I might have to tell my boys back home to be careful of these brats if they come across each other. I can't have my shinobi underestimating these two and getting themselves killed because they're idiots, you know. It would be bad for business, especially with that idiot Raikage still stockpiling jutsu and arms these days."

Hiruzen blinked before chuckling slightly. "I don't blame you. I myself am quite surprised at this performance. They have quite the potential, these two…"

"So do they have any special nicknames that I should know about?" Ōnoki continued, still watching the fight. "You know, in case the brats actually do something dumb enough to make their way into the Bingo Books? I'm not saying I'm gonna put them in as soon as I get back home, but I gotta call them something… word of this fight is gonna spread like wildfire soon enough."

Sarutobi sighed. "Naruto has, as you have probably guessed by now, been called a wide variety of things due to his pranking hobby and his outgoing personality." He paused. "However, because of his recent progress in skills, his teachers have occasionally referred to him as the Feral Gale…"

Kurotsuchi frowned as she memorized the name.

Ōnoki smirked. "The Feral Gale, eh? Not a bad name all things considered. It fits the brat pretty well, eh Professor God of Shinobi?"

Sarutobi frowned as he looked at Ōnoki. "Huh. I wouldn't talk like that if I were you, Ōnoki of the Twin Scales. I'd bet all they're doing is measuring your weight and height. Seems as if both of them are against your favor, if you ask me… and could you at least get one of my titles right when you're trying to mock me? I'm starting to wonder if you're suffering from this blasted old age harder than I am…"

Said short fat man frowned. "I'll let that slide this time, Saru. For old time's sake. So what about the girl? She has any names yet?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "No. To be honest, I am surprised she is performing at this level. I have heard that she is exceptional, but this is beyond my expectations…" He shrugged half-heartedly. "Oh well. Give the audience some time, Ōnoki. They'll eventually come up with a fitting name for her in our stead…"

"Hey, after these fights are over, do you want to try and make some names for these shinobi of yours like old times?" Ōnoki laughed out loud. "Remember when we got plastered and started giving names to those students of yours? I think I remember some of the names we came up with. We called that white haired brat Jiraiya things like the Pervert Sage, and Beatstick, and Black Eye, after all the times he got caught. I think once we simply called him 'Fucked' after you told me he was caught peeking on his teammate. Then there was that traitor of yours. I believe at one point we joked that his tongue was forked and thought of how he could pleasure two women at once with it." The Kazekage's hands twitched. "… but then there was that girl you raised. Oh, did we ever have fun coming with names for her! I can't believe that people actually started calling that girl of yours the Legendary Sucker!"

The Kazekage suddenly started to cough heavily, distracting the two old men from their conversation. "Is something the matter, Kazekage-dono?" Sarutobi asked with a poorly hidden smirk on his face.

"N-no. It is quite alright Ho-Hokage-dono…" Coughed the man as he cleared his throat. "I was just… unprepared for that sort of information…"

"My apologies, Kazekage-dono." Sarutobi apologized, though if one actually paid any attention, they would notice that the old man was straining himself so he wouldn't burst out laughing. "I will refrain from such conversations for now so that we can enjoy the rest of the matches…"

"Kill joy…" Grumbled Ōnoki.

o. o. o.

"Oi, oi! That girl! Isn't she the one that…?" Omoi whispered frantically to his companions as the fight concluded.

"Be quiet, Omoi." Samui interrupted bluntly. "… you might say something stupid and get us in trouble again. Same goes for you too, Karui."

Yugito sighed. "Your theory is correct, Omoi. She is exactly who you think she is, which is why we will NOT go anywhere near her or her clan during our stay in Fire country. Understood?"

"It wasn't as if I was actually going to do anything anyways." Karui grumbled.

"I'm more scared of what she might do to us if she sees us." Shivered Omoi.

Samui frowned. "I would worry more about the entire clan if I were you. We've been being watched ever since our second day here…" She glanced out of the corner of her eyes to see where a good portion of the Hyūga clan was seated with all their eyes activated to watch the fight. She then looked around more to notice several dozen Konoha ANBU hidden in the crowd. "In fact… there seems to be something else going on today. There are more than a comfortable number of ANBU in the arena. I don't like it…"

Omoi's and Karui's eyes widened before they started to try and pick out the ANBU in the crowd.

"Calm down, you three." Yugito sighed, but with an authoritative tone. "I unfortunately know what's going on, and it doesn't have anything to do with us, so stop acting all jumpy.

"Care to tell us what you are talking about, senpai?" Samui asked in an irritated tone. Like all shinobi, Samui never liked to be kept in the dark about something big, especially if you were apparently in the middle of it without even knowing. Shinobi tended to end up dead when that happened for some strange reason.

Yugito frowned. "Just keep your eyes open… and when the time comes… don't do anything stupid."

o. o. o.

Words could not describe the range of emotions and current state of Hiashi's mind right now.

He was shocked, awed, proud, and scared of his daughter after the performance she had just made in the arena. He was a bit disappointed that she had lost. He was amazed and stunned by the techniques that Naruto had employed in order to defeat his daughter and their effects on the Byakugan. He was giddy and smug because many of the elders had finally had enough evidence to shut up about his daughter's lack of power and conviction. He was worried and concerned that the same people might try to do something about his daughter's power behind his back, as well as doing something to Naruto due to his odd technique's ability to impair the Byakugan. He was getting annoyed with his youngest daughter constantly moaning about how she would not hear the end of it from the Hokage's grandson and how her sister should have won the match. He was anxious and nervous because he knew that the invasion would start any time now. And FINALLY, he was a bit angry and on edge due to the fact that he and his trackers had finally picked out the visiting Kumo-nin in the arena.

"Hiashi-sama…" Whispered one of the men he had assigned to keep track of said shinobi earlier that week. "It seems as if the Kumo-nin have discovered that something is occurring during the Exams…"

Hiashi frowned as he stayed still. "From the tone of your voice, I assume that there is something else I should be aware of…"

"Yes, Hiashi-sama." The tracker replied. "The eldest of the four, the one with unusually large chakra reserves seems to know more of what is happening then the others. The rest appear to be in the dark and confused at the moment."

Hiashi nodded. "Have there been any words exchanged that should be of concern?"

The tracker hesitated. "For a moment, they discussed Hinata-sama's identity… however they decided to leave her alone and keep their distance in fear of causing an incident… or apparently making enemies with her…" Hiashi let loose a small smirk at that statement before becoming impassive once again. "… The leader did just say something of interest, though." The tracker continued. "When questioned about the large number of ANBU in the arena, she told them to keep their eyes open and to not do anything stupid…"

"And their response?" The Hyūga leader questioned.

"They're on guard… but confused as well." The man replied. "I think it is safe to assume that they did not know of the invasion when they arrived here, or that they are planning to do anything with our clan… but one cannot be too sure in this situation. It appears as if the leader knows what is going on, but refraining from doing anything. Your thoughts?"

Hiashi took in a slow breath and pondered his position and the role he was supposed to play. "… Continue to watch them. Send word to all Hyūga to work in groups, just in case. Should they prove to be hostile, incapacitate them without killing them. We cannot have a repeat of what happened those years ago. Regardless of the Byakugan, I would rather die than be responsible for the end of another family member… however…" He sighed, knowing that this next order would cause a lot of scrutiny later on. "Should they prove to be on our side… and should they require assistance… help them for as long as necessary…"

"My liege?" The tracker gaped, not believing what he was hearing.

"I have heard that the Raikage is a rather… emotional man…" Hiashi sighed. "It would not do well to have some of his shinobi who are visiting under peaceful terms die or be seriously harmed while in our village… large scale incident or not. I have also received information that all four of them have close ties to the Raikage as well, increasing the motive for ensuring their safety..."

The tracker swallowed heavily, not guessing that things would be as complicated as they initially were. "And… should they appear to be having no issues at all?"

Hiashi's gaze hardened. "Then we will do nothing."

o. o. o.

Watching from the back of the arena, a masked Kabuto trembled as medics carried Naruto and Hinata back to the medic bay. He had expected many things from the Chūnin Exam finals, and had not been disappointed in the least so far… but he was starting to grow uncertain of his master's plan for the start of invasion. By all accounts, the spy should be trying to sneak into the medic bay right now to kill the two children. Their potential was nothing short of horrifying. Should those two actually manage to hone their skills any further as they aged… he had reason to believe that even his master would have issues if matched up against them…

But the invasion held priority. Orochimaru was set on taking Hiruzen's life and making Konoha burn. His plan had been orchestrated carefully, and all the troops had been in place that morning with all their kunai ready.

… Perhaps he was just overthinking things. He had been in multiple operations before, but the invasion of a hidden village was something new, even for him. No one would expect an invasion to occur today of all days, especially if the invaded village was Konoha of all places. Regardless of how strong these genin proved to be, they would have wasted their energy taking each other out by the time the invasion occurred, making them easy pickings for Oto's troops to take out. By the time those green children knew what hit them, they would be dead…

And by then Sasuke-kun would already be halfway to Oto…

o. o. o.

"We will now have a 15 minute recess between rounds, folks, so…" Ghost's voice echoed throughout the arena as Sasuke and the rest of the Konoha genin and the Suna genin minus Kankurō ran to the medic bay to see if they could check up on Naruto and Hinata.

Those who already lost were thanking their lucky stars that they wouldn't have to fight up against either one of them later on. Those who were progressing were almost as glad that they fought each other first instead of one of them. Gaara was becoming more and more impressed with his fellow container's progress. Neji was at ends with himself on whether he should take out Naruto for beating Hinata, or patting him on the back for giving such a good fight.

Sasuke, on the other hand, was pissed that Hinata might have maimed his teammate enough to have the guy drop dead before the fight even started. Kyūbi or not, Naruto was definitely going to be still recovering from that last attack by the time his fight finally came around.

Damn it! He wanted to fight the dobe when he was at full strength! Not when he was half dead!

As the group approached the door, they could hear voices coming from the other side.

"Why the heck do I have to have my shirt off for this?!" Yelled an irritated but familiar male voice.

"It's because it's easier for Hinata-chan to hit your tenketsu and re-open them for you that way." Sighed an older female voice.

"She didn't seem to have that much trouble hitting them during the fight." Countered the male. "And it doesn't help that Hinata-chan's nose is bleeding while she's looking at me. Nor why YOU HAVE TO HOLD ME DOWN WHILE SHE POKES ME, SENSEI!"

"Do you want to be ready for your next fight in time or not?" Hana asked irritably. "You can't reopen your tenketsu in your current condition. Too much of your chakra's been sealed up, and you're not allowed to use your… other reserves until otherwise stated."

"P-Please stay still Naruto-kun." Hinata's quiet voice replied. "I could hit you during battle because of the adrenaline running through my system and the extra chakra that runs through my eyes when I perform the technique. I have more trouble hitting people in casual situations. The reason why Sensei is holding you down is because you would run away from the medic bay again in the middle of treatment. Remember what happened last time?"

There was a brief moment of silence. "Erm… actually no…" Naruto chuckled, causing everyone eavesdropping to sweat drop.

Hana sighed. "You still had one of your legs broken when you tried to escape and jump out of a fourth story window. You ended up shattering your other leg and two ribs, and giving yourself a concussion, which is why you can't remember what happened."

"Huh." Naruto replied blankly, causing the people listening to face fault. "But… I'm just fighting Sasuke next. It's not the same as jumping out of a window…"

"I will kill him…" Growled Sasuke, twitching angrily. "… slowly and painfully…"

"Enough of this." Sighed Ino as she pushed open the doors. "Damn it you guys, you can really mislead people if you… keep on… talking like… that?" The loudmouthed girl paused as she took in the sight, her brain stopped working as she processed the view, much like everyone else that had just walked in through the door.

Naruto was lying down on one of the hospital beds, shirtless and revealing his unusually lean and fit physique, with Hana over his head and holding down his arms, giving him a wondrous view of her assets despite the chūnin vest she was wearing. In the meantime, Hinata was straddling his waist, still in her battle attire and bleeding from her nose, but her eyes were not yet activated. What the watchers then realized was that Hinata's attire was shredded in the fight in ways that it gave the boy a fairly decent idea of what the girl looked underneath. All in all, it looked less like medicinal practice at the moment and more like a scene from a bad underage soft-core porno.

o. o. o.

Jiraiya paused before he took a bite out of his pizza. "Something wonderfully sexy and potentially illegal has happened… and I'm not there to see it." He glared at the pizza. "Damn you and your delicious cheesy goodness…"

o. o. o.

Click.

Sakura smirked as she took a picture of the scene, causing the three victims to look at the girl and blush madly. "Oh… this is SO much better than what I was originally planning to do to him…" Giggled the pink haired girl as the three paled dramatically.

"FUCK!" Ino shouted as she tried to search for her own camera. "This is too good to pass up! The princess and the dumbass! Gossip GOLD!"

"… make sure to give me a photo later…" Sasuke whispered to Sakura, both grinning evilly as Naruto started to sweat profusely.

"Heheh. Hey guys. What are you doing here?" He asked nervously, sweating from every pore in his body.

"Naruto-kun! You are indeed a most you-ack!" Lee's loud ranting was interrupted by Neji elbowing him in the stomach… with a bit of extra chakra to enforce his point.

"Well we were going to congratulate you two for having the most epic fight we have ever seen ever…" Kiba smirked. "But now I think we're just going to settle for childish mockery and blackmailing you…"

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed as he turned around and walked back to the fighter's box. "Keep me out of this. You two seem fine, so I'll just go back now…"

"Ah…" Temari blinked before looking around. "You know what? I was just following Gaara. I don't even know why I'm even here…" And with that she turned around and chased after Shikamaru.

"You think she realizes she likes him?" Tenten asked curiously.

"… give her two weeks and the thought will eventually cross her mind…" Gaara replied in a bored tone.

Sakura blinked in confusion. Did Gaara just make a joke?

"I truly hope you do not intend to release those photos to the public, Haruno-san…" Neji whispered dangerously behind the suddenly scared stiff Haruno. "It would not be good for my clan's image if those images were revealed…"

"Heheh… Neji, don't be silly." Sakura nervously laughed. "Of COURSE I wouldn't let these pictures get out…" ' _For now, at least.'_ "I just wanted to see Naruto squirm a bit…"

Neji glared at Sakura in the eyes for a good 10 seconds before apparently being satisfied… before turning his attention to Ino, who was trying to quietly sneak away with drool coming out of her mouth and stars in her eyes. The boy's eyes practically glowed with intent and power as Ino realized she was busted. "… And where do you think YOU'RE going, Yamanaka-san?" Neji asked, his voice practically echoing.

Ino's response was to scream like a little girl and run as far away from Neji as she could. "I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!"

This of course prompted the boy to dash after her with claims of the escapee never being able to hide from his Byakugan.

The rest of the people in the room blinked as they watched the events unfold. "Well that was certainly… eventful." Shino mused out loud, getting everyone else to nod as one.

Chōji blinked as he turned around and saw Naruto, Hinata, and Hana in the same position they found them in. "Um guys… do you really have to still be in that position?"

Hana blinked. "Huh Oh!" The woman jumped back and laughed nervously. "Heheh. Sorry! I guess I was just kind of distracted by you guys, right Hinata?" The woman turned to the girl who was still straddling the blonde, not having moved an inch since she was found out. "… Hinata?"

Naruto blinked as he poked the girl in her side, not getting any reaction from her at all. "Hinata? Are you okay?"

Sakura stepped up to Hinata and looked at the frozen girl in the eyes before grabbing her wrists to check her pulse... then waved her hand in front of her still face and started snapping her fingers near her ears. "I… I think she passed out from shock." Sakura stated nervously.

Everyone in the room sweat dropped.

"So… what do we do?" Tenten asked, chuckling nervously.

Naruto sighed. "I got this. I've been to Hinata's place a couple of times with Ero-nii on some business trips, so I know a few things that might work… only this will probably hurt me like hell since she's right on freaking top of me…" He sighed as he tried to pick himself up and managed to put himself right next to her head. The rest of the genin gulped as he leaned forward and whispered something into Hinata's ear.

The reaction was instant. Hinata immediately snapped back to reality and forcefully grabbed Naruto's shoulders. "WHAT?! NO! HANABI SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FIND MY DIARY AND THAT BAG! SHE'S TOO YOUNG TO SEE THOSE KINDS OF THINGS! I'M TOO YOUNG TO KNOW AND HAVE THOSE KINDS OF THINGS! TELL ME WHERE SHE IS! I HAVE TO GET TO HER BEFORE SHE TELLS FATHER!" As the frantic girl shouted hysterically, she shook Naruto savagely and without remorse. By the time she was done shouting, Naruto was clearly passed out and foaming from the mouth.

Kiba was rolling on the ground, laughing his ass off. "HAHA! Oh Man! She should have just done that in the fight! She would have won easily!"

"Hinata!" Sakura yelled, grabbing onto the frantic girl. "Stop! You had your chance to try and kill him already! Let Sasuke-kun have a turn!"

Hinata snapped out of her delirium to finally realize the situation she was in: on top of a shirtless Naruto with trashed clothes on, and Naruto clearly unconscious and foaming at the mouth. "Eep!" The girl squealed as she jumped off of the boy and retreated to the other side of the room with a beet red face.

Unfortunately for Naruto, Hinata was situated right over his waist when she jumped, so while he did manage to come back to the land of the living, he also entered the land of excruciating pain that only men can enter. "…why?" He whimpered as he assumed the appropriate position.

Sasuke's eyebrows twitched before relaxing and sighing. "You know dobe, Hinata's done so much damage to you today that I wouldn't blame you if you decided to put off our fight another time… I think I'd actually feel bad beating up a eunuch in public…"

"Never…" Growled Naruto from his huddled position. "I will fight for the honor of my lost 10,000 potential half children things… and the battle shall be glorious!"

Everyone in the room sweat dropped. "You have definitely been hanging around Ghost-sensei too much, you know?" Tenten asked nervously.

"Yes, but to be fair, I've hit him in the jewels enough times to know how long I should still be in this position for." The blonde replied. "I still have another 1 and a half minutes before I think I can move my legs without crying like a small child… in the meantime… I think Hinata-chan can unblock my tenketsu now without worrying about me trying to run away… or move… or breathe…"

The men in the room nodded as one in perfect understanding.

Hana rolled her eyes. "Ugh. Boys and their balls… I'll never understand…"

o. o. o.

"Shikamaru!" Called out a voice from behind the lazy Nara as he walked casually to the fighter's box.

The boy sighed as he turned around and saw Temari jog up behind him. "Hm? What is it, Temari? I thought you would prefer to stay and watch Naruto make a complete idiot out of himself again."

Temari shook her head. "No, I have Kankurō as a brother, I don't need any more stupid in my life at the moment."

Shikamaru deadpanned. "I can think of at least 8 people that would deny that statement off the top of my head with religious vigor."

Temari sighed. "For some reason, I don't believe that's a joke…" She shook her head. "No… we're getting off topic. I came here to warn you about Gaara…"

"He's the container of Shukaku, the Ichibi, right?" Shikamaru yawned casually, causing Temari to freeze.

"Ho… How did you…" She stammered.

The boy shrugged. "I'm involved in a lot of stuff right now, so it's not that impressive all things considered. Like how Konoha's being invaded within a few hours and how you guys switched sides on the enemy at the last second."

Temari gulped. She would have to take this boy carefully when dealing with him in the future. "If… that's true, then you know you don't stand a chance against him. He's been… softer recently, but I don't doubt that he'll kill you if you even start to catch his interest. That head of yours might have saved you from me but…"

"So…" Shikamaru interrupted in a bored tone. "Troublesome story short, you want me to forfeit the match so your brother doesn't kill me."

Temari blinked before blushing and scratching the back of her head. "Well, yeah. I mean you're somewhat decent compared to most of the other annoying guys out there, and I don't want you to die so quickly…"

Shikamaru looked at the girl with seemingly disinterested eyes before yawning again and turning around. "I'll keep your warning in mind, but I'm not gonna give up as soon as the bell starts… I'd never hear the end of it from mom if I did that…" He mumbled the last bit out to himself more to anyone else.

Temari frowned, getting angry that the boy was just casually taking in her advice. "Don't you get it?! My brother has an actual DEMON in him! There's no contest! He will Kill you and…!"

"Temari." Shikamaru interrupted as he turned around, wearing a stern look that silenced the teen fairly quickly. The look didn't last long though, as his facial features relaxed again. "… I learned some interesting things this past break…" He turned around and casually started to walk away again. "I was asked a month ago, if god could control one element, what would it be?"

Temari blinked, not understanding where the boy was going with this. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Shikamaru continued to walk forward until he disappeared around a corner. "It didn't take me long to answer the question… but I soon realized that the more important question was… why?"

o. o. o.

Chōji sighed as he continued to wander around the arena hallways. It was close to his time to fight and he had still yet to ask her out on a freaking date yet! The boy was getting anxious since he would be unable to ask her after his fight since Ino was to fight Sakura right afterwards, and she no doubt didn't want any distractions before going against her eternal rival in 'love'…

"Oi Chōji!" Shouted a familiar voice from right behind him. "What are you doing, you idiot? Your match is going to start! I swear you're as bad as Shikamaru sometimes…"

Chōji whirled around to come face to face with Ino, who was staring at him irritably. "I-Ino?! I thought you were running away from Neji!"

Ino put on a confused expression. "Neji? Why would I do that? I just ran into him a few minutes ago after I apparently fell down and blacked out." She rubbed her forehead. "I have this massive headache now. I can't even remember what I was doing in that part of the arena anyway. Last thing I recall is going with you guys to see how Naruto and Hinata were doing…"

Chōji was sweating profusely. ' _I THOUGHT HE WAS KIDDING WHEN HE SAID THE HYUUGA KNEW HOW TO GIVE PEOPLE TEMPORARY MEMORY LOSS!'_ "Erm… right… actually, there was something I wanted to ask you before our matches Ino…"

Ino raised an eyebrow. "Hm? What is it, Chōji? You better make it quick, or you'll get disqualified…" She blinked. "Are you feeling okay? You look pretty red and you're sweating like crazy…

Chōji blushed. "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date after the Exams!" The boy said incredibly quickly.

Ino froze. "W-what?" She stammered, for once at a loss of words.

"I… what I mean to say is…" Chōji fumbled. "I… kinda… like you… Ino…"

Ino stayed still as she attempted to process the information she had just been given. Both preteens stayed quiet, unsure of what to do next…

"I REPEAT, WILL CHŌJI AKIMICHI PLEASE COME TO THE ARENA FOR YOUR MATCH! YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES OR YOU WILL BE DISQUALIFIED!" Ghost's voice echoed through the arena, snapping them out of their delirium.

"Well… I gotta go… I don't want to embarrass anyone else right now, I guess… Ghost-sensei seems to be doing enough by himself…" Chōji chuckled as he quickly turned around and ran towards the exit without looking back. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…" the boy repeated to himself continuously.

"Ah…" Ino tried to call out before realizing she didn't know what to say.

o. o. o.

"It's about time you guys showed up…" Kankurō grumbled as all the contestants that weren't supposed to fight yet made their way into the viewing area. He eyed Naruto and Hinata, who were both being helped into the room by Hana and her dogs. "Are you sure those two are okay to be here so soon? They still look like they're half dead to me."

"I'm fine…" Hinata sighed. "I'm not going to be doing any more fighting anyways, so it's okay for me to be here."

Naruto smirked as he slowly made his way to the railing. "I have a healing factor, so I'll be all right. Hinata-chan released my tenketsu, so I should be in decent enough shape to kick his ass when our match starts…"

"You wish, dobe…" Sasuke smirked, though inwardly he was starting to think that maybe it would have been a smart idea to ask Hinata to leave a few of his teammate's chakra points blocked just in case…

"So what did we miss?" Shikamaru yawned as he leaned against a wall.

Kankurō smirked as he looked at Naruto. "Nothing much, just a video of Blondie there stealing panties and running away from a bunch of pissed-off kunoichi…" he turned to the extremely pale jinchūriki. "I thought I had seen it all, but stealing underwear from jōnin and timing yourself on how long it took before you got caught? Heh, no wonder you have no sense of self-preservation…"

The group froze as a familiar ravenous feeling made itself known in the air. "I will kill him…" Naruto muttered darkly under his breath. "I will make him feel pain in ways that no one has ever experienced before… there will be no body… not even the Hyūga, Aburame, and Inuzuka combined will ever find a trace of him… he swore he would never show that video to anyone…" Moments later he was in a fetal position in a far corner, crying. "Why? I try to be nice to everyone… why do I have to always be taught by rampant perverts? I'm not a pervert… why does this keep on happening to me?"

Everyone sweat dropped at the sight of the crying blonde. "I think we might have to tell Ghost-sensei to let up on Naruto after all this is over…" Tenten chuckled nervously…

Kankurō shrugged. "Eh… actually, the crowd actually liked the video. The women actually felt sorry for you since it showed that the proctor practically blackmailed him into doing it, the guys were laughing their asses off, and most of the shinobi got over their rage pretty quickly when they saw him dodging all those kunai and jutsu left and right. I think they were pretty impressed… though I don't think the proctor scored many points, judging from the amount of killing intent the women in the audience were giving him…"

"I am quite certain Naruto-san is unable to hear you…" Shino commented, seeing that Naruto was rocking back and forth, denying that he was a pervert repeatedly.

"He'll snap out of it soon." Shikamaru sighed as he turned around. "Chōji's fight is next, and if he wants to watch, he's gonna have to stop being so troublesome…"

"…JUST BECAUSE I MADE A FEW PERVERTED JUTSU AS PRANKS?! I HONESTLY DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER AT THE TIME! I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY! IS THAT WHY, GOD?! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" Naruto shouted hysterically to no one in particular.

"This might take a while." Sakura sighed as she looked down on the field where Chōji ran up to his opponent and Ghost to begin the fight.

o. o. o.

"Please?" Ōnoki begged Sarutobi with a bloody nose.

"No." The Hokage replied, also bleeding from said appendage.

"It doesn't have to be the entire clan, just that one!" Ōnoki tried again, whining like a small child.

"We'd go to war within a week if we let you have any of them other than the elder, and if he goes, so does Crypt Ōgakari. In that case, we'd be going to war in three days." The Hokage sighed.

"But that, was, just, pure, GENIUS!" The short man exclaimed. "That training was not only fun, but downright efficient too! I know for a fact that I was not the only person here thinking of assigning that sort of training to my higher level shinobi!"

Rōshi tried hard not to laugh, but it was fairly difficult when he was already on his third bottle of sake. Ōnoki might as well have been sending his shinobi on a suicide mission. Stealing panties from a single jōnin level kunoichi was commonly labeled as 'fucking retarded', regardless of what village you were from or how skilled you were. Stealing panties from an entire bath house worth of kunoichi? And then prancing around in front of them with said undergarments on your head? That was just simply suicidal, even for a Kage.

"Fucking old perverts…" Grumbled one of the Kazekage's guards underneath his breath.

The Kazekage himself was twitching every other second himself. Every passing second, he was beginning to believe that he would do this invasion less for revenge and more for making the world a better place as a whole…

o. o. o.

Ghost chuckled as he heard Naruto's mental breakdown in the stands. "I think I might have gone a teensy bit overboard with that last one…"

Kagari laughed dryly as he listened to the proctor. "I don't see why you're a Konoha ninja. What you did was pure evil. You'd make an excellent addition to Ame…"

Ghost shrugged. "Eh, maybe, but you guys are too loose with the whole killing thing and psychotic looks for my tastes. You guys just can't seem to take a joke when you're the victim. Sorry." He turned to Chōji. "It's about time you got here." He patted the tense boy on the shoulder. "Calm down. She hasn't said anything yet. Maybe this fight will give both of you the answer… or the next one if she's really stubborn…"

Chōji gaped. "H-H-H-how did you?!"

Ghost smirked. "Hey, remember who taught Blondie that sensory technique of his. To be honest, though, you could have timed it a bit better. I mean, her fight is right after yours, for fuck's sake."

Kagari frowned. "Oi proctor! Giving advice is against the rules!"

"Calm down, kid. I'm just giving him a few pointers about girls. You look like you could use a few hundred yourself." Ghost deadpanned.

Kagari growled as the grip on his kunai tightened. This buffoon would soon enough know not to underestimate shinobi from Ame…

"So then, I assume you two are ready to try and top that last fight?" Ghost asked with a grin, getting a deadpanned expression from Chōji and what appeared to be one from Kagari. (Remember, he's the one with both a blindfold and a mask on, so his face is almost as hard to read as Itachi's).

"Right, neither did I." He sighed as he turned on his microphone again. "Break's over boys and girls, and we're back with the second round of the Chūnin Exams! I hope you've all enjoyed our carefully selected between match entertainment as much as I had fun making it… heheheh." The crowd was a mixture of cheers and boos at this part. "So then, let's begin the second round with the second supplementary match!"

The screen shifted from its view of the fighting grounds to reveal Chōji's and Kagari's pictures and stats before zooming in more on Chōji, revealing a somewhat large pixilated boy throwing some slow punches before forming a seal and turning into a large cannon ball and spinning quickly. "Chōji Akimichi! Heir to the Akimichi clan is a member of Konoha's Team 10, alongside Shikamaru Nara. Chōji may have not won his fight in the preliminary matches against Temari of the Desert, but his massively destructive combination of clan and personal techniques impressed many of the judges here so much that we just HAD to see him in action again." The screen showed Chōji's fight with Temari, bouncing around the room with incredible force before revealing his long spiky hair and continuing his devastating assault. Chōji laughed and waved nervously to the crowd as they cheered for him. He could easily see where his clan was sitting due to their… unique appearance. He hoped he wouldn't embarrass them…

Ghost then turned to Kagari, prompting the screen to change to his data. Kagari's digital version was not that much different from Oboro's in terms of appearance and actions, however people did note that Kagari's made it rain black water and then light it on fire. "However, Chōji's opponent is no slouch when it comes to jutsu either, my friends. Kagari of Ame is indeed a shrewd and skilled shinobi worthy of getting this far." The screen showed his fight against Sakura, creating a wide variety of clones, sinking into the ground smoothly, making it rain oil, and then igniting it with careful timing. "His wide range of techniques and skills were also noted during his fight with Sakura Haruno, and despite his loss, we believe he had earned a chance to fight here today!" The crowd responded with a decent amount of clapping and cheers as well though not as much as Chōji, which was understandable.

"Who's combination of jutsu will emerge victorious?! Will it be Chōji's unusually powerful clan techniques? Or will Kagari's more elusive and tactful moves steal the victory from under his nose in pure shinobi style? We're about to find out!" Ghost hopped back a few strides. "Chōji Akimichi Vs. Kagari of Ame! Fight!"

Both shinobi started to move from the get go. Chōji started to form seals for his clan's technique, but Kagari surprised him with a smoke bomb, which effectively blinded him.

"Damn! He's stopping me from getting to him so he can get a head start on his jutsu!" Chōji swore as he completed his Multisize and Blunt Inner Mirror techniques simultaneously and quickly bounced above the cloud so he could get a better view of where his opponent could be regardless of where around the cloud he was hiding.

 _'Not bad…'_ Ghost mused. ' _He knew the cloud could still hide his opponent if he went the wrong way, so he went for the aerial view. He's using the bouncing part of his training more efficiently than I expected… but will that alone be enough to take his tricky opponent down?'_

Chōji's decision paid off as he saw his opponent roughly a third of the way around the cloud from where he originally was and halfway into his seals. Smirking to himself, Chōji re-angled his body and spun rapidly while triggering his Hari Jizō technique and surrounding himself with sharp spines. The moment he hit the ground, the spikes dug into the earth and shot the boy forward like a cannon at the apparently surprised opponent, who was too shocked to move.

In fact, he didn't even move after Chōji slammed into him, instead opting to become intangible and phasing right through the boy. ' _Shit! It was one of those mist clones!'_ Chōji mentally swore as he opted to continue to move around where he once was instead of becoming a still target and deactivating Hari Jizō to save chakra.

o. o. o.

Ōnoki blinked before looking at the sake bottle in his hand, then back at the fight. "… I didn't know Akimichi could bounce… what the hell is in this drink?" He grumbled under his breath.

Sarutobi chuckled. "It's a new technique the boy made during his training. I heard it is similar to Earth-Style: Earth Spears, except instead of turning the user's body as hard as stone, it adjusts the body to have some rubber like properties."

"It is a useful technique when combined with the Akimichi's trademark Meat Tank line of jutsu… especially in an enclosed environment… however, that is not the case for this fight…" The Kazekage mused. "He has already been set up by his opponent despite his unique approach to the situation several moments ago. I am curious if the boy will manage to find a way out of this situation…"

"Don't forget…" Slurred Rōshi. "This fight is timed. He could always just roll around the arena and not get hit for the rest of the match and force a draw…"

"He'd better not." Ōnoki growled. "There are few things worse than watching a boring and shitty fight right after watching an extremely entertaining one."

Sarutobi chuckled. "I doubt it will come to that. Remember, young Chōji is the teammate of Shikamaru, and they both have seen many of the techniques that his opponent can use during the preliminaries. I doubt that they didn't prepare for at least this much in his match…"

o. o. o.

Chōji continued to roll around the arena at a moderate pace as the clones inside increased in number. He couldn't afford to make any mistakes yet, otherwise his opponent could manage to escape the attack and figure out what he was trying to do.

"Heheheh…" Kagari chuckled as more clones appeared. "What's wrong, fatass? Are you so much of a pussy that you can't even face a few clones?"

Chōji twitched. "Don't do anything stupid, Chōji, it's just what he wants you to do. He's probably set up a trap where all the clones are already and hidden them with genjutsu. Think! What did Shika say about this guy's techniques? Wider ranged mean more chakra, so he can't hold them for long if he decides to spread them out, so he's most likely somewhere within that circle of clones… and I'm guessing he's hiding underground with that technique of his…" His pondering was interrupted as a kunai with an exploding tag was thrown his way. The boy only barely managed to bounce out of the way in time to avoid the damage. "Damn it!" He swore. He was not expecting his opponent to do something so up front so quickly.

It was at that moment that he was actually somewhat thankful for the extended training he had aimed at maintaining his ball shaped form for long periods of time while under stressful situations.

He would still never play soccer again, though. Every time he approached one of those small black and white balls nowadays, all he could see was a screaming miniature version of himself…

"Heheh!" Kagari chuckled. "You thought I was just going to let you roll your huge ass around?! Fat chance! My jutsu may not be as strong as yours, but I have more than enough exploding tags to take down this arena! Just give up, and I won't roast you like the pig you are!"

o. o. o.

Ino started to shake angrily as the overconfident genin mocked her partner. She didn't know why, but for some reason the thought of someone insulting Chōji like that really got under her skin…

Sakura saw Ino's shaking from the corner of her eyes and smiled sadly.

o. o. o.

Several explosions echoed throughout the arena as Chōji dodged them to the best of his abilities.

"Stop moving and blow up already, damn you!" Growled Kagari as he missed for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Somewhere during the assault, something snapped in the kindhearted child. The combination of fat insults, the confession with Ino, and the constant barrage of exploding kunai that almost forced a relapse in the boy raised his adrenalin to levels he had not experienced since he was used as a giant soccer ball by the Ōgakari and Gai… except this time his opponent wasn't fast, strong or scary beyond known mortal reason.

Someone was definitely going to be hurting by the end of the match… and Chōji was determined to ensure that it was his opponent.

Chōji laughed loudly, catching everyone's attention. The people who knew the boy best were slightly concerned, since they had never seen the boy sound like that. "Is that it? You claim to be a shinobi, but you can't even hit this giant ass rolling target?! HAH! Your tags are nothing compared to Tenten's, and your aim is even worse than Naruto's when he first started the academy!"

"Low blow, Chōji!" Naruto yelled from the fighter's box, somehow snapping out of his perverted denial delirium sometime during the match.

The young Akimichi's speed suddenly increased as he approached the forested area of the grounds. "I've been the target of everyone's mocking LONG ENOUGH DAMN IT!"

o. o. o.

"Troublesome… he actually snapped…" Shikamaru said with a somewhat pale face.

"I believe it was the combination of exploding tags and fat insults that pushed him over the edge…" Shino commented, adjusting his glasses. "Though there might have been something else that helped prompt this response as well…"

Ino flinched.

"Remind me of this fight whenever I spar against him from now on…" Tenten shuddered nervously.

"Oh boy… I'd grab onto something stable if I were you, guys…" Naruto warned nervously as he placed both hands onto the railing.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You know what he's going to do?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. I accidentally came across him training a couple of weeks ago and almost got killed." He swallowed heavily. "You guys remember those loud quakes we were having during the last week of our training?"

Neji blinked. "I had assumed that was you, Uzumaki. After all, we did find you on the edge of that crater with Waltz-sama after that large shockwave…"

Naruto shook his head vigorously in denial. "No, that was the only time it was me. All those OTHER times were all Chōji…"

The rest of the Konoha genin blinked for a moment before rushing to the railings and securing their hands around the metal. It was enough of a hint to get the Suna genin to mimic their behavior without question and brace for whatever the hell the large boy was going to do soon.

o. o. o.

Common sense didn't register to Chōji as he rushed to end this fight. He had a general idea of where Kagari's position was from all the kunai that were thrown at him, and with what he was about to do, he knew that all the exploding tags that were hidden in the center of the arena would go off by the time he finished his attack.

Bouncing from tree to tree and occasionally hitting one or two hard enough to actually knock them down, the boy gained speed, momentum, and angles as he positioned himself for the end of the fight. The rapid increase in speed and the sudden change in directions prevented the hidden genin from getting a good shot in with one of his exploding kunai.

"What is he doing?" Kagari mumbled. "He knew that I trapped the middle of the arena even before I started to attack with my tags, but now he's going to attack me up front? Has he actually lost his mind? The tags will take him down before he even gets close to me…"

"Here I come!" Roared Chōji as he ricochets off the arena wall and charged straight to the middle of the Arena.

"Like hell, fatass!" Kagari roared as he chucked several exploding kunai at the boy. The two were about to collide… when Chōji hit one of the trees he had knocked down earlier and was launched extremely high into the air and over the exploding projectiles. "WHAT?!" The Ame-nin shouted in a surprised tone.

"Time to finish this!" Chōji roared as he began to spin at an incredible rate, falling extremely fast to the center of the arena grounds where Kagari was situated, his body hardened as he used Earth Spears for its original purpose. The people watching the boy could even see the air pushed aside by the boy's large spinning mass as it accelerated.

"Too bad!" Kagari yelled in a rather panicked tone as he sunk into the ground. "You might be strong, but you can't hit me underground!"

Chōji smirked as he plummeted to the ground. "Earth-Style…"

o. o. o.

Ghost prepared his body to move. "It's over."

o. o. o.

Ōnoki blinked before frowning in disbelief. "…he couldn't be…"

o. o. o.

"… PULSE QUAKE!" The boy roared as he collided with the ground, causing the entire floor of the arena to shatter and buckle with tremendous force that trumped every other technique seen so far that day.

All the exploding tags that Kagari had set up to trap Chōji were triggered at once by the shockwave as Kagari was flung out of the ground like a ragdoll into the immense cloud of dust that was launched by the attack. The audience itself was also hit incredibly hard by the massive tremors as several people started to scream and fall out of their chairs. Even the shinobi watching were having a somewhat difficult time staying on their feet for the duration of the technique.

As the shaking died down, the audience attempted to get back into their seats and made sure that the building was not going to collapse with them in it. Dust was still thick in the air, and the two combatants were yet to be seen.

o. o. o.

"Go out and make sure that the audience is safe and the building is still stable…" Sarutobi ordered out sternly to one of his assistants, who immediately disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The leader sighed and rubbed the sides of his head. "Honestly… I thought Naruto was going to be the only one that would cause mass panic during the Exams…"

"That was certainly most… unexpected…" The Kazekage chuckled while readjusting his hat. "I did not expect that boy to attack with an A-ranked ninjutsu…"

"It wasn't…" Ōnoki grumbled as he climbed back into his seat. "The technique the brat used is a C-ranked ninjutsu."

The Kazekage blinked. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard you with the audience as loud as they are right now, Tsuchikage-dono. I thought I heard you say that the technique just used was a C-ranked when it clearly displayed the power of an A-ranked…"

Ōnoki frowned. "Because it wasn't supposed to have done that kind of damage, Kazekage-dono. Pulse Quake is a C-ranked jutsu because it creates tremors based on how hard the user hits the ground. Because of that, many shinobi just pass over it since there are better and stronger techniques to use for the same amount of chakra. The shinobi who do use it are normally taijutsu types, and even then, they typically only use it to temporarily screw around with the footing of their opponents or collapse caves or buildings and things like that. In fact, I am pretty sure that all the main villages have this technique in their low level jutsu libraries…" He glared down at the arena to where Chōji supposedly was. "… but to combine it like that with an Akimichi's clan techniques… I may have to go over some of the more overlooked jutsu in my village if this boy can take a low level jutsu like that to such heights…" He turned to Sarutobi and smirked. "I may have to come again sometime soon, Saru. These brats of yours are really starting to interest me…"

o. o. o.

Ghost chuckled as he stood on the side of one of the walls of the arena. He could clearly tell who was left standing even though the dust was still settling. The attack was obscenely powerful considering the age of the one who used it, and could even deal him a fair bit of damage if he wasn't paying any attention. Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru could also hurt him if he wasn't careful, but Chōji was the first of the genin that he never really was hands on with that reached this level. He had gotten this far pretty much by himself with just a couple of pointers on the way, and that was what made him special.

He could feel that the floor of the arena was nowhere near the condition it was in when the day first started. Between Hinata's giant Kaiten, Chōji's Force Quake techniques, and Tenten's exploding kunai, the fighting grounds looked like it had already gone through one war.

On his shoulder, Zuzushi let out an impressed growl/purr that only dragons can apparently do.

"Well said…" Ghost agreed as he dropped to the arena floor and walked up to the contestants, increasing the dispersal rate of the dust as he walked. Soon enough, the field was in clear view for everyone to see.

Chōji was breathing heavily and hunched over while standing in the center of an impressive crater roughly the size of the one Hinata had made in the previous match. The only difference was that while Hinata's hole was a clean bowl-shaped dip in the ground, Chōji's looked like someone had taken a massive sledgehammer to it and swung really REALLY hard at the earth, shattering it like glass and upturning several huge boulders in the process.

Several dozen meters outside the initial crater, Kagari laid on the ground unconscious with an arm and a leg bent at an awkward angle. Kneeling over the boy and checking his pulse even though he didn't need to do so, Ghost nodded to himself so the audience would know he was doing his job. "Winner by knockout! Chōji Akimichi!" Ghost roared, causing the spectators to burst out in cheers and applause.

Chōji blinked as his head slowly stopped spinning and ringing, and the throbbing dropped just a little, just enough to register that the crowd was cheering. He had never really tried to last that long in his meat tank form before while constantly switching gears like that… and neither he nor his stomach wanted to do it again. "Ugh…" The boy groaned a he stumbled out of the wreckage of his attack. "Did I win?"

Ghost chuckled as the medics ran out into the field. "You're damn straight you won. I think you actually just topped Naruto's and Hinata's fight for most epic match ending of the day... but only by a small bit…"

Chōji blinked before laughing lightly. "Heheh. Only a little? Oh well… Hey Sensei, is it okay if I take a nap now? I'm pretty dizzy…" The boy dozed off, apparently falling unconscious as he fell over. Ghost quickened his pace to catch the somewhat lighter boy before he hit the ground.

o. o. o.

Chōza had a huge grin on his face as the medics took his son away. "Hehahaha! You see that?! That was MY BOY!" He turned to the audience, somewhat spurned on by the several strong drafts he had had over the course of the day. Normally it would only be enough to get the man a bit buzzed, but mix it with how proud he was of his son and the extremely epic end to the fight and you have a somewhat boisterous and thoughtless clan head. "COME ON! I DARE YOU, _ANY_ OF YOU, TO CALL ANY AKIMICHI FAT AND SLOW!"

Shikaku sighed as he watched his friend get pulled down by his thoroughly embarrassed wife. "Damn it Chōza, calm down before you make a bigger ass out of yourself than you already are…"

"Let him have his fun, Shikaku." Inoichi sighed as he took another swig of beer. "He deserves this much at least. It's not often that an Akimichi gets to show off like this. Even with Chōza's current behavior, his clan's probably going to get a lot more recognition after today. I mean, you're the Jōnin Commander in the village, and your clan makes some of the best strategists in the Elemental Nations. I'm one of the top interrogators in Konoha, and my family is well known for our special mind techniques. What does Chōza have? His clan makes soldier pills, and Chōza himself isn't known for anything except being able to turn into the size of a boss summon, which is something he barely gets to do anymore since he became the clan head and has to stay in the village most of the time. Heck, most of the C-ranked missions his clan is hired for inside the village are simply demolition work. Believe it or not, a lot of people have been calling the Akimichi the weakest out of all the clans in Konoha lately because they're too fat to get anything done. Showing the entire village that his clan is capable of causing damage like that is a good wake up call."

Shikaku shook his head. "No, I know all of that already." He nodded to Chōza again. "I was talking about the fact that Chōza tends to do incredibly… troublesome… things when he gets excited while he's drunk… remember?"

Inoichi blinked for a moment before turning his attention to his other best friend again. Said big man had since given up trying to pick a fight with the audience and was now making out with his portly wife in public in a way the two men hadn't seen for a long time. He paused as he saw a flash of light and turned to see Shikaku taking a picture of the scene. "Right… So… how many times does this make it?"

Shikaku smirked as he tucked the camera away. "27. This is the first time he's done it in the arena, though… I feel sorry for Chōji. He might have been lucky enough to pass out before this happened, but there's no way the people in the audience will let him live this down later…"

"Remind me to give the boy a few free sessions with me later." Inoichi sighed. "He'll definitely need them."

Shikaku raised an eyebrow. "You know… you're awfully calm considering that Ino is fighting next."

Inoichi huffed. "Why wouldn't I be? Out of all the people she could have been fighting, she's up against the one that has the highest chance of letting her out of the arena with all her bones intact… next to Shikamaru, of course…"

Shikaku frowned. "You don't seem all that confident in your daughter's abilities…"

"It's not that… it's just that I don't really think Ino's ready to be a chūnin yet." The man sighed. "I mean, she has gotten tremendously better lately, but her mind is still in the clouds most of the time. Just today she was five minutes away from being disqualified!"

The Nara raised an eyebrow. "Don't get me wrong, but I thought Ino had a habit of making sure she was at her best when she showed off in front of crowds…"

"She does." Inoichi stated bluntly. "In fact, she's been spending more and more time in her private bathroom since she started training in her team. I'm surprised that she's been progressing as far as she did…"

Shikaku frowned for a moment as he tried to remember all the things his son told him about his teammate over the past few months. While it was true that Inoichi's daughter was prone to being rather obsessive with looks at times, Shikamaru had told him that Ino had been getting better as of late. The girl was apparently progressing quite well under Anko's tutelage, and had even made some leeway with her poison skills… "Hey… was your daughter in her bathroom when you left this morning?" The Nara asked curiously while still donning his bored demeanor.

Inoichi grunted. "I told her that she would be late if she didn't hurry up, but she wouldn't open that damn door of hers for anything. I had to leave her at home and go ahead. Sometimes I truly wonder about her…"

"Yeah…" Shikaku muttered under his breath, gears turning in his head… remembering the girl's disheveled appearance when she arrived late to the arena. "Me too…"

o. o. o.

Ino remained quiet as the rest of the Konoha genin around her cheered in elation for Chōji's victory. She didn't know why. She was glad that Chōji won, she was certain, but she didn't know what the other feelings in her were, and it was confusing her.

"Oi, what's up with you?" Shikamaru asked as he snapped her out of her daze. "Chōji won using a ridiculously troublesome technique, and you're as quiet as Hinata after she passes out around Naruto." Ino's eyebrow twitched. "You and quiet in the same sentence are about as common as the words Chōji and proper diet. What's wrong?"

Ino blinked, not knowing what to say as she looked around. She saw Naruto cheering for Chōji and laughing, seemingly not noticing Hinata nearby. She saw Temari still gaping in surprise before giving Shikamaru an occasional curious glance, also seemingly unnoticed by the boy. Tenten was talking to Neji, who nodded stiffly, however she could tell that the two had a better relationship than first anticipated. She saw Sakura and Sasuke standing next to each other on the other end of the railing, closer than she herself had ever gotten with the Uchiha, and talking comfortable with the other without any sign of hesitation.

She remembered Chōji giving her looks just like those since the training started, but she had never really paid them any notice till now. Looks of longing, but held back due to nervousness or because the one they liked never paid them any attention.

She was confused. She willingly admitted it. She had always set her sights on Sasuke, but even though he had been gradually becoming more vocal and social over the past few months, he had also been somehow bonding with the forehead even more. The more she tried, the more he seemed to look the other direction, even when she tried to use some of Anko-sensei's more… mature seducing methods. It just made him turn even more… and run as well. Then Chōji shows up and claims he likes her, and she starts getting all these odd feelings right before her match! It was ridiculous! She liked Chōji and when she thought about it, he was decent boyfriend material, given he lost a few pounds, but she had set her sights on Sasuke for years! She couldn't have them both! That would be as ridiculous as… Ghost and Anko-sensei and… Hana-sensei…

Shikamaru blinked as Ino started to grin in a less than comforting manner. "Ino? Why are you smiling like that? You're planning to do something troublesome, aren't you?"

o. o. o.

Ghost looked at the state of the fighting grounds as the two boys were sent to the medical bay. While he didn't mind, there might be some issues for later on if it was left in the same condition. That being the case, he switched his microphone to a private line with the Hokage. "Oi, old man. The field is pretty wrecked down here. Is it okay if we fix it before the next match? It'll only take about a minute tops."

The Hokage sighed in his chair as he got the message, prompting the visiting leaders to look at him oddly. "Fine, as long as you don't do anything flashy this time…"

Ghost nodded as he changed the frequency of the mike so that he would be heard through the speakers again. "Because of the state of the field, we will temporarily stall the next match in order to restore it to a more appropriate condition. Please bear with me, as it will only take a few minutes at the most."

o. o. o.

Ōnoki snorted. "You pansy, Sarutobi. We should just have the brats fight on the grounds the way it is! Stop coddling the brats, for crying out loud…"

o. o. o.

Ghost took off his microphone and put it into his pocket before raising his hands to his mouth. "OI CRYPT! YOU HAVE WORK TO DO! GET YOUR BUTT DOWN HERE!"

The audience blinked in confusion as they looked around for the mysterious Crypt that Ghost was apparently calling. Nothing happened for a few moments before a woman screamed as she saw a body flying through the air as if it was thrown to the middle of the arena, sailing like a dead weight before landing a few dozen feet away from Ghost on the ground with a low thump. The crowd was quiet for several moments with wide eyes, except for those who knew who the man was and how odd he could be.

o. o. o.

"This is… most unexpected…" The Kazekage mused quietly, though both the elderly Kage could see that his hand was twitching very slightly.

Sarutobi groaned, apparently ignoring the Kazekage's remark. "I told him not to do anything flashy… and instead he brings out something incredibly stupid…"

"Stupid?" Ōnoki blinked as he took another look at the body again. "It looks more like it's incredibly dead to me…"

o. o. o.

Ghost sighed as he saw the audience stare in shock. He was hoping that Crypt would just pop out of the ground like normal… but then again, when does normal actually apply to the man? He put the earpiece to his mouth. "Relax, folks. He's not dead, just stupid. Very… very stupid." He turned to the man and rubbed his forehead. "Crypt! Jell-O organs!"

The seemingly dead body popped back up instantly, surprising many of the audience members, glaring back at the man. "I told you! Your theory is completely out of proportion! The chainsaws don't have enough shoelaces in order to organize the toenail clippings on the Mona Lisa's hard drive! The constipated monster trucks would end up completely slaughtered by the army of nun chucking babies!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, my brother, Crypt Ōgakari." Ghost announced with a sigh as he pocketed the mike again and the people listening to what Crypt had just said developed incredibly large and confused headaches.

"Oooh. So many moustaches…" Crypt whispered to himself as he stared at the crowd.

"Oi Crypt." Ghost said a bit of woe. "The floor's pretty hammered. You think you can fix him up? It said it'll help you out with that fireball mongoose problem you've been having trouble with if you do."

Crypt blinked. "The floor knows the correct balance of mongoose and fire to use!? That bastard! I know it was holding out on me!" He huffed.

"You can commit grand arson to god's creatures later, Crypt. The floor comes first." Ghost sighed as he whipped up a large cloud of dust that covered the arena floor, much to the viewer's surprise. The Hyūga attempted to see what the two were trying to do, but not surprisingly, their vision was blocked by Ghost's dark chakra in the air. Everyone could hear low rumblings, though.

Within 30 seconds, the dust had settled and much to everyone's surprise the arena floor was in the same condition it was in before the fights had even started, minus the fallen trees. Ghost was once again in the middle of the floor, casually standing with his hands in his pockets, but Crypt had disappeared. "Tah daaaah." The man joked lightly. "Sorry for the small side show everyone, but we can finally start with the next match now, so will Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka please come down here so we can continue the day's events?"

"Finally!" Shouted a young girl's voice as the audience turned to see a young blonde haired girl jump from the fighter's box and into the arena. "I thought I was going to die of boredom!" Ino turned back to the box. "Damn it forehead! Get your butt down here so I can kick it!"

 _'What crawled up her ass?'_ Ghost pondered in a confused manner.

"Be careful, Sakura." Shikamaru whispered to a very confused Sakura. "Something was eating at Ino since the beginning of the last match, and a few minutes ago she started to act like… well, Anko. She's up to something troublesome. If possible, can you snap her out of whatever the hell she's thinking of before she ruins her chances of becoming chūnin?"

Sakura sighed as she turned to the stairs. "I'll try, Shikamaru, but I can't make any promises when she starts acting like that. You know her better than I do at the moment, after all."

"So who do you guys think is gonna win this one?" Temari asked curiously. "My money's on Blondie. One cut from those poisons of hers and the pink girl is done for. Kunai are faster than seals, after all, and genjutsu can only help you so much against an opponent right in front of you."

"I agree." Neji mused quietly. "I had a bit of a hard time… catching her earlier, so it is safe to assume her speed and agility are worth noting. Plus, I highly doubt that Anko-sensei would have not trained her student against genjutsu when both of her first potential opponents are known to use it."

"I don't know about that, Neji-nii-san…" Hinata countered quietly. "Sakura-san is quite good at medical ninjutsu. I think she is already able to neutralize low-level poisons in her system during combat situations without much issue, and mid-level poisons if given enough time alone to concentrate. I also remember that she was doing extensive taijutsu and evasion training with Waltz-sama during our month break…"

"Hmmm… an interesting point." Shino pondered. "I too occasionally trained with the eldest Ōgakari. He was incredibly knowledgeable about various tactics... and thankfully, unlike the other Ōgakari, his training methods did not leave me with mortal wounds at the end of the day…" He shivered as the rest of the Konoha genin nodded their heads in silent agreement. "… Although that may be because my training was a matter of control and not physical conditioning. I doubt he would be unable to give Sakura-san some advice on dodging projectiles efficiently, especially with his rather impressive frame."

"Hey guys. I guess I ruined the arena, eh? Heheh. Sorry about that…" The group turned around to see Chōji walking in with Hana's help and an apologetic look on his face.

Naruto smiled. "Nah. Don't worry about it, Chōji. Ero-nii and Crypt fixed it up while you were getting treated. Sakura and Ino's fight is actually just about to start. Good job with that last attack, though. When you almost killed me, the crater was only half as big."

Chōji chuckled nervously. "Erm, yeah. Part of that was because I went higher than normal. Usually I just bounce myself to a decent height and then hit the ground… to be honest, I thought I was going to plow through that tree instead of launching off of it and simply bouncing myself naturally over the traps and the kunai… but I think what happened worked better in a way…"

The whiskered blonde laughed and patted Chōji on the back. "Ah, Chōji, welcome to the wonderful world of dumb luck, where fantastically great things occasionally work in your favor for absolutely no reason whatsoever. Lee! We have another member!"

"Yes!" Lee gave Chōji a thumbs up with sparkling teeth. "Welcome, my friend!"

"Wait… how is spandex boy over there a member of the world of dumb luck? Shouldn't it be the opposite, considering he can't mold chakra?" Temari asked, completely lost.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. "Think about it. Lee can't mold chakra, but so far, he's the only person here that managed to force Naruto to go all out, he's received training with possibly the only teachers in the Elemental Nations that could even remotely get him to the level that he's at right now, despite his limitations... and he was born to be a natural user of the drunken fist. I'd say that's pretty dumb luck right there…"

"He also looks the part too!" Tenten laughed out loud, patting the slightly depressed Lee on the back.

"Hey dobe, is that why you wore that stupid jumpsuit for the first 10 years of your life? So you could be qualified to have dumb luck? Or were you just that stupid to begin with?" Sasuke taunted with a smirk.

Naruto pouted. "Hey, I managed to play pranks on more than half the village's shinobi population with that thing on and manage to sneak away without getting caught. I'd like to see you try hiding from ANBU wearing nothing but pure orange. Let me tell you, it's harder than it sounds."

 _'It sounds impossible to begin with.'_ Thought pretty much everyone in the room.

"So… how's Ino doing?" Chōji asked somewhat nervously as he stood next to Shikamaru and watched Sakura walk onto the field.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at his best friend for a moment before sighing to himself. "Ugh. Troublesome doesn't even begin to describe that girl. She was all quiet and moody throughout your fight. Then a little after you won, I asked her what was up, and she apparently snapped, giggling like crazy." He looked at his guilty looking best friend with a small smirk. "… I think you broke her."

"What?! She told you?! I didn't do anything! I…" Chōji panicked before Shikamaru hit him hard. "Thanks…"

"Anytime." Shikamaru sighed and turned to the arena floor. "I know you probably just asked her out… or at least told her you liked her, but still your timing is pretty bad. You sure know how to pick them though, Chōji. That's all I can say…"

o. o. o.

"About time you got here, forehead." Ino smirked confidently as Sakura walked to her position.

"Is something wrong? You're acting more confident than usual." Sakura asked curiously.

"Oh, it's nothing." Ino replied with an airy voice. "I just realized that there were more options to me in life than I originally thought…" Her eyes hardened. "Forehead. Let's make a bet on this match, shall we?"

Sakura didn't like the hungry look in Ino's eyes. She remembered it from the time before time was changed. It was the look Ino got when she had some sort of morally deprived (and most likely illegal) yet incredibly tempting idea in her head. "W-what kind of bet, Ino-pig?" The girl asked nervously.

Ino smirked. "What else? Winner gets Sasuke…"

Chōji's shoulders sagged in depression.

Sakura frowned. "Why would you do something so immature as…"

"… after all, he's make a wonderful addition to my harem." Ino smiled sadistically, causing everyone to gape in surprise.

"Heh heheh. HehahaHAHA!" Ghost burst out laughing and collapsed to the ground, hunched over and hitting the earth. "Ino's harem! HAHAHA! WHAT THE HELL?! HEHEHEHE! MY SIDES! I CANT BREATHE! HAHAHAHA!"

Zuzushi in turn fell off Ghost's shoulder, also apparently laughing and making high pitched squeaks as she mimicked her clan member's movements.

Sakura blinked dumbly at Ino. "… can you say that again? I wasn't prepared to filter out so much crazy coming from you."

Ino grinned sadistically. "I realized that there are a lot more quality men out there that met my tastes than I originally thought. Until a few minutes ago, I thought I had to restrict myself only to Sasuke-kun, but when I realized that there were other boys that I wouldn't mind spending time with, I came to a dilemma. What should I do? Who should I chose? I wanted them both, but I couldn't… or could I?" She turned to the currently grounded and laughing Ghost. "I remembered that Ghost-sensei over there is currently going out with Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei, so I thought: why can't I do the same thing?"

o. o. o.

Hinata pouted. ' _As long as she doesn't go for Naruto-kun, I don't mind either way. No one's taking my one man harem away from me. Not if I have anything to say about it.'_

Naruto blinked in disbelief. "I don't believe it. I've been trying and planning for months on how to get back at Ero-nii in the most horrible and embarrassingly humiliating way possible… and Ino singlehandedly pulls it off without even thinking about it. That shouldn't be possible… I'M the Prankster King of Konoha… I should be the one to be able to do that so easily… it's like nothing makes sense in the world anymore…"

"… I'm renewing my restraining order on Ino after this…" Sasuke said to himself as he shivered uncontrollably.

"This village never ceases to confuse me…" Gaara mused quietly.

"… I'm starting to think broken is too small of a word to describe what you did to her, Chōji…" Shikamaru said nervously to his friend. "… but I think you got your answer as to what she thinks of you… I think…"

Chōji just gaped at Ino, unable to think of anything to say at the moment.

o. o. o.

 _'Must. Not. Laugh. Laugh. Equals. Mind Rape. Mind Rape. Is. Troublesome.'_ Shikaku repeated constantly in his head in a desperate attempt to save himself from his friend's drastically increasing wrath.

o. o. o.

Ōnoki remained quiet as he took in the scene in front of him. Silently, the short man turned to Sarutobi and looked at him dead in the eyes, and blood dripping down his nose. "… I'm moving here when I retire…" He stated bluntly.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

The Kazekage looked up to where the irregular shakes in the building were coming from curiously. "What was that?"

Sarutobi chuckled nervously. "O-oh?! Um. I think it may just be some delayed damage from young Chōji's last attack. I'll send some of my men to check up on it right away. Honestly though, they're shinobi, not engineers… they can't be expected to notice everything when it comes to things like detailed building structure…"

o. o. o.

It was very fortunate that Konoha's and its allies' forces were not in direct combat and were currently tasked setting up traps at the moment, because if someone needed help right then, they wouldn't have gotten it.

All they would have heard was Scabbard rolling on the ground, laughing like there was no tomorrow.

o. o. o.

Hana shivered uncontrollably. "Oh, dear Log, mom's going to kill me."

o. o. o.

Tsume growled deeply from her seat, causing the rest of the clan members near her and Kuromaru to back away slowly from the angry woman. "They will all die. Painfully. Slowly. Locked naked in a box with Tora and five kilos of catnip. There will be no mercy…"

o. o. o.

Asuma wiped his forehead nervously. "Whew. For a moment there, I thought Inoichi was going to go after me."

Kurenai frowned. "That's not something you should be relieved about, Asuma."

Kiba couldn't say anything since he was still laughing on the ground.

o. o. o.

Jiraiya said nothing as he frantically scribbled down notes in his notepad as if his life depended on it. He was really questioning why he never came back to Konoha when he should have been looking after Naruto. He had completely forgotten how… inspirational… kunoichi could be, and you couldn't find more kunoichi than in a major ninja village.

o. o. o.

Ghost froze as he heard Ino's confirmation of him having two girlfriends… then he started to shiver as he felt the glare of one very pissed off Inoichi Yamanaka on him. "… hoooo fuck. Ohhhhh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck…" He swore. ' _This won't end well… thank god for impending invasions_.' He thought to himself. "Heheh. Um. Ino? Can we talk about this AFTER the match… please?" Ghost pleaded, sweating a good deal as the killing intent increased from both the incredibly jealous men and the insulted women in the arena. "Scab!" He hissed into his microphone, attempting to call for backup for the hell that was to come. "Get Midget's group back here NOW!"

All he got in response was hysterical laughter.

Ghost noticed that Zuzushi was laughing even harder on the ground a few feet away from him. Fucking lizard.

"I will get you for this. Mark my words, Scab, someday very soon, you will find yourself in the middle of a preteen magical schoolgirl academy looking like a bishi (translation: standard absurdly pretty boy that you usually see in most anime), and you will have no idea how the **fuck** you got there." Ghost quickly growled into the mic as he got back up and turned his attention back to the supposed fighters. "If you two are done exchanging fake makeup, we can begin the next match." He said in a very irritated voice, snapping the two girls out of their momentary standoff. "Ino, we're going to have a few words with your father after this is over to clear up this whole mess…" ' _And hopefully get the blame off of me.'_ "But for now, let's get this fight started…"

The screen in the arena paused for a moment before showing Ino and Sakura's match up. "Everyone here is well acquainted with miss Haruno since she has already fought in the previous round, so let us go straight to Ino Yamanaka." The screen zoomed in on Ino's picture, showing her stats. The digital, and at the moment clearly saner, Ino was throwing purple kunai at a relaxed pace before she made a few seals and put her hands over her chest in an odd way. "Ino Yamanaka, heir to the Yamanaka clan and final team member of Team 10 along with Chōji Akimichi and Shikamaru Nara." Ghost announced, somewhat more mature than normal. The screen changed to show Ino's fight in the preliminaries. "As a member of the second generation Ino-Shika-Cho, Ino is well versed in her clan's mind based techniques, but during her training she has also decided to take up the art of poisons, which she has proven to use exceptionally well in conjunction with her clan's jutsu." The screen showed Ino explaining how she defeated her opponent. "Will her brutal and ruthless skills be enough to defeat Sakura, or will Sakura's illusions show her the way to victory? We'll find out right now!" Ghost jumped back several meters in a single leap. Zuzushi recovered from her laughing fit just long enough to fly to Ghost's shoulder before continuing to giggle in the way only a tiny dragon could.

"Freaking walking purse." Ghost growled, but getting no response from the dragon. "Sakura Haruno vs. Ino Yamanaka!" Both girls prepared themselves to move. "FIGHT!"

Ino wasted no time taking out several dozen shuriken and throwing them expertly at Sakura all at once. "Sasuke-kun is mine, forehead!"

"Damn, she's completely lost it…" Grumbled Sakura as she took out a kunai of her own and started to dodge and block the oncoming metal. During her training with Waltz, the old man had constantly assaulted her with various styles, sizes, and ranges of attacks. From kunai and shuriken, to his fists, to pelting rain, to a giant block of ice, the old man had been indiscriminant with his teachings, making sure that Sakura was completely used to that particular variation of assault before moving on to the next style. More often than not, he would jump from one style to another she had previously practiced with in order to ensure that she did not forget her previous lessons.

The end result was what the audience was watching. For the first few volleys, Sakura had dodged most of the flying weapons, but resorted to deflect the few that she initially missed with her kunai. However as the attacks continued, Sakura relied on her kunai less and less as she managed to dodge them with greater efficiency. Sakura frowned. It still wasn't easy, though. Ino was taught by Anko personally for a good amount of time, and it showed. Sakura doubted that any other genin aside from Tenten would have been able to force her to deflect their projectiles for that long and still keep her on the edge with basic shinobi equipment.

Still, this was way easier than getting used to Sasori's attack patterns. God forbid should Ino actually take up puppetry. "The more you try and push it, Ino, the more Sasuke will run away from you!" Sakura lectured as she dodged another kunai. She wouldn't be able to form any seals at this rate. Ino's attacks were just too fast. "How the hell do I snap her out of this?" She grumbled as she tried to figure a way out of the situation she was in, and then she remembered a small piece of advice that had been given to her several months back, before she received her memories.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Oi Ero-nii. What happens if someone you know has gone crazy and they're attacking you, but you know they're just confused and can be brought back? What's the best way to deal with them?" Naruto asked curiously as Ghost went over some strategies that could be used in various situations.

Ghost shrugged. "Beat the shit out of them, and then bring them back with logic if it's possible to save them. It doesn't have to be correct logic. Twisted logic can work just as well in some cases if you present it right. If they're crazy at the moment, it shouldn't matter that much."

"That is a… interesting way to approach things…" Shino mused. "But aren't there better ways to approach the situation?"

Ghost sighed. "Yeah, if you want to risk hurting yourself, the people around you, and the crazy person in particular more. The point of beating the shit out of them is to wear them out, calm them down, reduce the obscure amount of adrenaline running through their system, and most importantly, keep them still so they can't run away from your inevitable friendship speech. What are a few bruises and broken bones compared to a burst blood vessel in the brain? If you want to reason with them, be my guest, but at least try to not get killed by something stupid if you do. Arguing to prove a complicated point will only distract you from everything around you, and it dulls your senses when you are trying to debate something. Better to have your opponent pinned to the ground when you're trying to talk to them than trying to kill you."

o. o. o.

"So, the new plan is the old plan. Why am I not surprised?" Sakura groaned as she dodged some more of Ino's shuriken… only to freeze in shock as she felt something hit her leg. The girl looked down to see a single senbon sticking out of her thigh.

"Aww. Sakura, it looks like you got hit with something…" Ino cooed as she started to make some seals just as Sakura attempted to start to run away. "I wonder how long you will last. Hidden art, mind body disturbance technique…"

Sakura's body started to shudder erratically as the technique took effect. "Damn! I was only looking for shuriken and she snuck that senbon into her attacks! Then I stood still for too long!" Sakura grumbled as she tried to break the technique… then stopped. "No… she wants me to fight it, it will only make the poison spread faster." She glared at Ino, whose hands were above her heart. "I have to focus and do what I did last time. Don't fight her physically, fight her mentally. That's where her family's techniques take effect…

Not paying any attention to her arms moving towards the senbon in her leg, Sakura delved deep into her mind. She knew she was able to do it occasionally, but ironically enough, it was always easier when Ino tried one of her family's techniques on her. She could always feel where Ino's chakra was and use it as a beacon to know where to go. Thankfully, she had been meditating a fair amount during her month break. It helped her calm down and concentrate on her chakra control.

Soon enough, Sakura had discovered Ino's presence inside herself, lodging itself between where her mind met her body. Unlike last time, where it was Ino's entire psyche inside her body, Sakura felt something more like Ino's intent and hands in its place. Smirking to herself, the pink haired girl started to fight back. "I did it once, Ino-pig, I can do it again." She growled as she grasped Ino's chakra with her own and pushed. "Now if you wouldn't mind… GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BODY!"

Back in reality, Ino stumbled back in shock. "How? I've never heard of someone able to break out of my clan's techniques when they're under my control!"

Sakura grinned as she quickly flipped through several seals. "So? We've never heard of a psycho that uses exploding model cows to train students until a year ago. Get used to it! Demonic Art: Great Distortion!"

Ino's world immediately twisted on itself. Her sight was blurred and twisted. Her hearing was filled to the brim with loud and cringing sounds. Her balance was shot. She smelled a cornucopia of obscure scents, and she was growing dizzier with every passing second. "Shit! I can't believe I gave her an opening like that. Anko-sensei would kill me if she saw that mistake…" She managed to swear through her confusion before forming the ram seal. "Kai!" She shouted as she pulsed her chakra. The illusion wavered for a moment before regaining its obscurely disorienting effects. "Shit. Forehead is better at genjutsu than I thought. Maybe those lessons with Kurenai-sensei actually did have some use. KAI!" Ino repeated, doubling her efforts and this time managing to break out of the illusion, and collapse onto the ground to regain her breath, but just as quickly jumping to the side in case she was being attacked. She wasn't. Instead there was a large smoke cloud where Sakura once was, preventing Ino from immediately tracking where her opponent could have gone.

"Damn… she got away…" Ino cursed before slowly putting on a smirk that would make her teacher proud. "For now…"

Sakura panted heavily behind one of the trees in the arena floor as she took the senbon out of her leg and quickly started making seals for the medical technique that would counteract the poison that Ino used on her. Her leg was bleeding in three separate spots, indicating that her body had stabbed itself two more additional times before she managed to break Ino's technique and run away. Right now, she had set up a low level illusion that was designed to cover her tracks fairly well, but she had no doubt that Ino was good enough to eventually find her regardless. She didn't want to admit it, but Ino's poisons were unusually potent. It was nowhere near as strong as Sasori's poison, thank all that was decent, but it still gave her a hard time regardless, and it was also incredibly fast acting, which is why she retreated after casting her illusion on Ino instead of going for the win. She doubted that she would have been able to counteract the poison in time if she hadn't gotten her prior memories and experiences back.

Extracting the last of the harmful substance and closing the last of her wounds, Sakura started to plan her next move. Ino would more than likely give up on using her clan's techniques since they had proven to be less than effective against her, and likewise Sakura felt that using offensive illusions on Ino was just as effective since the girl managed to break out of one of her more potent illusions on her second try. That meant that the only thing left available for the two to uses was just taijutsu and whatever the hell they haven't shown yet. Sakura smirked as she slowly flipped through some seals. Ino may have had her poisons, but they were useless if they didn't get into her in the first place…

"Oh Saaakuraaaa…" Ino taunted as she walked carefully in the slightly spread out trees, holding a kunai out in each hand. "Where aaaare youuuu? I just want to play. Then when I win, Sasuke-kun will see that I'm better than you, and he'll come to me instead…" She pouted.

Despite her demeanor, Ino was getting irritated. Regardless of how much tracking training she did with Anko, she couldn't seem to find a single trace of the pink haired girl.

"Fat chance, Ino." Sakura replied casually from a tree branch to the girl's right. "Why would Sasuke-kun want to share a pig like you when he could have me all to himself?"

Ino smirked before throwing the kunai in her hand at her opponent. "Because forehead, unlike you, I'm nice enough to share myself with all the men who truly want to be with me!"

o. o. o.

"Just for the record. I actually don't want to be with her." Sasuke said bluntly to anyone who would listen.

o. o. o.

The kunai flew through the air straight at Sakura… and passed right through her, causing her to disappear in a cloud of smoke. "A clone?! But it talked!" Ino momentarily gasped in shock before Sakura jumped out from a tree behind her and punched her hard in the face, sending her flying a small distance out of the trees.

"Wake up, you stupid idiot!" Sakura roared as she chased after her opponent. It was proving harder than she originally thought to be able to control her augmented strength. It was nowhere near where she once was, but she would still raise suspicions if she went overboard. Luckily, she could still pass off as just an exceptionally strong kunoichi as long as she kept her hits to only this level.

She was also at that moment thankful for doing a bit of extra studying on the side when she first started her genjutsu training and learned the D-ranked technique that allowed her to make it seem as if her voice was coming from somewhere else. With that technique, mixed with the poor lighting from the shade of the trees, and the basic clone technique, she had managed to make the opening she needed to turn the fight around.

Ino rolled on the ground for a few meters before jumping back onto her feet with several kunai and shuriken in her hands. She had been smacked around by Anko for so long that such responses were instinct for her at this point. Despite her still blurry vision, she could still make out Sakura's pink hair coming towards her at a fair pace, so that was what she aimed for without any hesitation. "Grr. Just give up already!" The girl shouted angrily as she reached for more projectiles, mixing in some senbon in the mix this time.

Sakura frowned as she dodged the oncoming metal with no problem at all. She had placed herself under the reaction enhancing genjutsu again while waiting for Ino to get into position, so she wouldn't have nearly as much trouble detecting and dodging the poisoned metal this time. "Like hell I'm going to get taken down by someone who's clearly more insane than Ghost-sensei in front of all these people, Ino-Pig!"

Ghost cried anime tears. "Sniff. That's mean Sakura… is that what you really think of me?"

Zuzushi squeaked curiously at Ghost.

"Yes, I know it's true, but she didn't have to say it out loud in such a mean way." Ghost replied emotionally.

"Why. Can't. I. Freaking. Hit. HER!?" Ino growled as she continued to frantically let her weapons fly, only to have Sakura dodge them almost easily and continue to close the gap between them. It was like the girl's movements had become twice as quick in the time they were playing cat and mouse. Suddenly the mouse was making the cat look like a turtle. Ino didn't know why, but she had a bad feeling that things would get worse if she fought Sakura in a taijutsu match. She had enough kunai and shuriken to fight a decently sized battalion on her thanks to her modified pouch which had a storage seal on the inside, but wasting weaponry was something that could only hurt her in the long run. Another thing that Anko had to force into the girl via sheer terror and live experience in order to learn.

Grabbing onto a small pellet, Ino grimaced. She was hoping to not use this particular item so early in her matches, but now wasn't the time to second guess herself. With the new plethora of dangerous sharp objects ready, Ino threw them all at her opponent, who was less than 10 meters from her at this point. Sakura dodged all of the thrown objects with ease again, but she had noticed that a small round pellet was aimed several feet in front of her…

Boom. A large purple gas cloud exploded in front of Sakura as Ino jumped back with a smirk on her face. She wouldn't be able to hit Sakura accurately due to her vision being impaired by the smoke, but that was irrelevant since her opponent would have easily inhaled some of the gas by no…

BOOM!

A second explosion echoed through the arena as an exploding tag went off between where Ino was and the center of the poison cloud. The poisonous gas was blown in the opposite direction of the young Yamanaka as she was distracted and blinded by the light of the fire, which left her completely open for an exhausted and extremely pissed off Sakura to go on the offensive. Before Ino had a chance to look up or readjust her eyes again, Sakura had closed the gap between the two and delivered a strong punch to the girl's face, launching her another dozen meters away. This time though, Ino was too dazed to immediately get back on her feet, allowing Sakura to once again rush in to get inside her appropriate throwing range.

"Ugh! Why don't you just STAY DOWN!?" Ino roared as she took out a kunai and rushed in to meet Sakura in a taijutsu fight.

Sakura didn't answer as she took out a kunai of her own and sparred against her unstable opponent. It didn't last long, however, as Sakura managed to completely shut down Ino's somewhat erratic attacks and toss her hard into the ground, knocking the wind out of her, then sucker punching the girl in the stomach when her guard was down. Ino gasped out for air with wide open eyes before she passed out from the pain.

"… because you're my friend, and I won't let you win if you're not at your best from the start…" Sakura sighed before rolling to her side and breathed out heavily. Keeping up her reaction enhancing illusion and that last rush had used up a lot of her stamina. Far more than she was comfortable admitting. She grimaced as her arm started to throb. It might have not been the safest or smartest move, but using that exploding tag so close to her to get rid of the poison gas was the only way she could think of to keep the fight in her favor. Hell, if it worked against an S-class missing-nin, it should be more than enough for Ino.

Ghost walked over to Ino and inspected her carefully, then looked at Sakura who was picking herself up off the ground with some trouble. Nodding to the girl the man turned to the audience. "Winner by knockout: Sakura Haruno!"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Wow… 50 ish reviews for that last chapter. Nice. Very nice. Keep on reviewing guys. 1k by ch 50 is the goal here, and at this rate, it might actually happen!

So. College is still a pain in the ass. Homework is still a pain in the ass. Kishi is still pulling his plot out of his ass. So nothing much has changed.

Shippuden movie 4 looks… interesting. Time travel is definitely something that was bound to be touched on at some point, but I'm more interested to see Hiraishin in full scale animated action than anything else.

Also, Shippuden movie 3 is coming out on dvd in japan within a week, so for anyone who doesn't know what that means, just look for it on the internet subbed within a few weeks. It will actually be there.

… I hate hybrid cars. Just throwing it out there. If you knew as much as I do about them, you would too. I'm all for reducing the average person's carbon footprint, just… don't try and get a hybrid for at least another 5-10 years. Trust me. It's actually not worth it. Freaking yearlong research report…

So review, laugh, worship the Log, watch some movies, and for me, hope these last few weeks of college this year don't try to force me to bend over too much. Later.


	41. I'm seriously wondering if anyone else's story takes this long to get through the damn Chūnin Exams… other than Chūnin Exam Day…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 41: I'm seriously wondering if anyone else's story takes this long to get through the damn Chūnin Exams… other than Chūnin Exam Day…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

"An interesting match…" Mused the Kazekage as he watched the medics take the Yamanaka heir out of the arena. "Though it was clear that the blonde girl was not completely stable during the match, both showed promising potential. I was most amused by the way the Haruno girl used the exploding tag at the end to not only distract her opponent, but blow away the poison cloud as well. Though it may be a bit… risky considering how close it was to her, the speed at which she reacted and her follow through were something to notice…"

Ōnoki nodded. "True. The blonde girl showed decent skills in her throwing weapons, poison usage, and her clan's techniques, also being able to mix them well together to deadly effect, but when those strategies didn't work out the way she had expected, she was surprisingly frantic and out of moves to use, resulting in doing the same thing she was doing before. She's close to becoming chūnin, but she needs to be more flexible in case her first plan goes wrong."

He looked at Sakura, who was walking alongside Ino as she was carried into the medic bay. "Now that pink haired girl was something else entirely. Not only did she come up with a decent strategy to get herself out of that tough situation and break out of a Yamanaka's technique, but she managed to properly neutralize her opponent's poison and heal her wounds while coming up with a decent plan in the process." He started to count on his fingers. "Genjutsu. Taijutsu. A surprisingly damn good medic. Good at planning ahead. If she wasn't flat as a board and good at illusions, I would almost think that you snuck in Tsunade into the Exams just to screw around with the betting pool, Saru."

Sarutobi laughed and shook his head. "Ah, if only Tsunade was here… then I could have gotten rid of this blasted hat… but no. Young Sakura isn't Tsunade in disguise, Ōnoki. She just happens to have exceptional chakra control that was capitalized early on by her teachers. She was always a thinker and graduated with top scores in the academy, which explains her ability to make efficient strategies. The taijutsu, however, was just a way to increase her low stamina and evasion skills so she would last longer in battle… or so it was originally documented to me. I guess she decided to work more on it in her free time. With her teammates being who they are… I suppose she just got tired of being left behind."

Ōnoki nodded. "Well, small children's feelings aside, I'm putting my money on that girl getting chūnin. The other one… well, not so much."

Sarutobi sighed before turning to the Kazekage. "I agree, but I believe that Kazekage-dono would be most interested in this upcoming match more. After all, his youngest is one of the fighters…"

The man's veiled head nodded briefly. "… Indeed. I am quite confident that Gaara's skills will be enough to win him the entire Exams… though not to be insulting, it is not this match that I am most eager to watch, but the match he will be participating next. Will he fight the Uchiha, or the Uzumaki boy? I believe that match will reveal Gaara's, and in turn Suna's, might to everyone here…"

"Humph." Ōnoki huffed. "You're too overconfident. That Nara kid is pretty good if you ask me. Your son must be pretty special if you think he will win so certainly…"

o. o. o.

Shikamaru sighed. "This won't end well for Ino when the judges determine chūnin…"

"Yeah…" Chōji mumbled, guilty that he was partially responsible for Ino's sudden drop in common sense. "Hey, Shika…"

Shikamaru patted his friend on the back and gave him a lazy smile. "Go ahead, Chōji. I wouldn't blame you if you missed my match. I bet that Ghost-sensei has been recording the entire Exams since they started so we can all watch them later, so you'll see it eventually anyways…"

Chōji deadpanned as he looked at Shikamaru with a knowing look. "… you're going to give up in the middle of the fight, aren't you?"

Shikamaru smirked as he turned around and started walking to the exit, thankfully noting that no one was listening to their conversation. "The winner of this match has to fight Naruto or Sasuke. What do you think?"

o. o. o.

The first thing Ino took note of when she finally returned to consciousness was that her stomach was killing her. It felt as if someone had set off an exploding tag right in her abdomen, and she was having trouble breathing. "Ugh…" She groaned. "What the hell hit me?"

"I did…" Replied an almost apologetic Sakura from the foot of Ino's bed. "It was the only thing that I could think of to calm your crazy ass down…"

Ino blinked in confusion before her memories came back to her. Chōji's confession, her confusion, her declaration to get a harem, the fight, and her defeat. "Please… please don't tell me that I actually said all those crazy things in front of the entire audience…" Ino breathed out while breaking out into a cold sweat.

Sakura took note of Ino's condition and quickly stepped to her friend while making some seals. "Calm down, Ino…" Sakura instructed as she put glowing green hands on the girl's back. "Deep breaths…"

Ino's breathing steadies and she regained some color to her face. "You… still didn't tell me…"

"You did." Sakura replied bluntly before whacking her friend upside the head. "What the hell were you thinking? I have no doubt that you cost yourself any chance of getting a promotion from the way you acted."

Ino looked down in guilt. "… Chōji asked me out on a date…" She mumbled with a tear in her eye.

Sakura flinched for a moment before regaining herself. "Well… that was unexpected… but I don't see how this leads to you going completely crazy on us."

"I was confused!" She yelled out more to herself than to Sakura. "I… I wanted Sasuke-kun for so long, I tried so hard. But… but you were getting closer to him no matter what I tried. And then Chōji asks me out right before his match… and I saw that he was such a good guy…" She sniffed. "I didn't know what to do. Chōji's always been there for me, but I really liked Sasuke-kun. I didn't want to give him up, but I didn't want to flat out deny Chōji either. I was scared of making the wrong choice… Then I remembered that Ghost-sensei has Hana-sensei and Anko-sensei to himself, and I thought, why can't that be me? If someone like him can have two people to date and be perfectly fine, why can't I?"

Sakura deadpanned. "You do realize that Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei have similar enough… interests that they enjoy being around each other almost as much as around Ghost-sensei, right? Can you really say the same thing about Sasuke-kun and Chōji?"

Ino laughed nervously. "Yeah… I kind of realize that now…" She tried to picture Chōji and Sasuke… getting along like that, which was possible due to her prolonged exposure to Anko. She shook her head, laughing lightly. "Yeah, that would never happen…"

(A/N: Takes a moment to beat himself over the head with a hammer. "NO! BAD MIND! YOU WILL PURGE YOURSELF FROM SUCH UNCLEAN THOUGHTS! YAOI ONLY EXISTS TO BE MADE FUN OF! NOTHING MORE! GET BACK TO WORK FANTISIZING ABOUT HOT BISEXUAL WOMEN AND KINKY BONDAGE THREESOMES! ... heheh, awww yeah…")

Sakura sighed. "So… what now? You obviously have feelings for both Sasuke-kun and Chōji, but you can only have one…"

"You can… you can have Sasuke-kun, Sakura…" Ino said with a small sad smile on her face.

"Come again?" Sakura asked in a clearly confused tone.

"He… he obviously doesn't want to be around me…" Ino explained in a dejected tone. "Hell, he normally doesn't like to be around anyone… aside from you and the rest of his team. … I guess you won our silly contest forehead. I can see that I can't get close to him like you can. It's nowhere near getting his love, but it's still farther than anyone else has gotten so far." She frowned. "But so help me, if you screw this up…"

"Like you did just now?" Sakura sighed, causing Ino to flinch. "Don't worry Ino, I'm not going to have any mental breakdowns or desire to have all male harems dedicated to me in the near future. For now, though… I think you should talk to Chōji. After the way you acted during our fight, I would bet that he's as confused right now as you were…"

"Maybe… not that confused…" Chōji interrupted with a small smile on his face, startling the two girls. "Guilty… a bit, but not that confused. Not now, at least…"

"Chōji!" Sakura squeaked. "How long have you been listening?!"

"Long enough that I'll have a hard time staying near Sasuke for a while…" The boy deadpanned, getting nervous laughter from Sakura and Ino.

"Well then… I'd better go now…" Sakura chuckled as she walked to the door. "I don't want to be the third wheel here… You should be completely healed as soon as Hana-sensei comes back. I would be careful of your ribs, though. They may be a bit sore after the treatment's done regardless…"

Ino nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, gorilla…"

Sakura blinked, easily confused. "Gorilla? What happened to forehead?"

Ino shrugged before giving her pink haired friend an evil grin. "I thought it fit you more since you punch like one. Plus, you look like one too with your forehead and that mono-brow you've been getting…"

Sakura paled. "M-m-m-monobrow?!" The girl screamed hysterically and ran to the nearest bathroom to look in the mirror.

Chōji sweat dropped as he dug at his ears with his fingers. "Was that really necessary?"

"Hey, I needed to have some small victory in all of this against her." Ino pouted childishly before dropping her strong demeanor and guiltily looking at the floor. "I guess, we have some things to talk about right now, huh?"

Chōji sighed as he took up a chair and sat next to his teammate. "… yeah."

o. o. o.

_'Please oh lords. Protect me from the wrath of the leaders of the Inuzuka and Yamanaka clans after the invasion. My meaty goodness and remaining mental stability depend on your favor…'_

Ghost silently prayed to the gods that he was fairly certain he didn't piss off in the last 150 years as Shikamaru and Gaara made their way to the arena floor.

Both boys looked at each other with a dull look in their eyes. To many, it looked as if the pair barely even noticed each other's existence, not out of spite, but out of sheer disinterest and boredom. But to those who knew the boys well enough, they could tell that both were running through various scenarios in their heads, pondering attacks, counter attacks, and ways to deal with those counters.

 _'Come to think of it… this is the first real fight between guys that got their memories back…'_ Ghost mused after finishing his hymns to Cthulhu. ' _Gaara's got a lot of experience with his powers on his side… but then again, Midget probably taught Shikamaru some of the more interesting tricks when it comes to shadow manipulation… this should be pretty interesting…'_ Ghost turned to the side of the arena, where the shadow made by the sun's position was significantly larger than before. "Well then, let's get things started…" He mumbled to himself as he turned on his microphone.

"Since our participant from Oto dropped from the roster, let us continue to the second main block of the tournament!" Ghost announced, addressing the audience. "Right now we have a match between the surprisingly shrewd Shikamaru Nara vs. the calm and mysterious Gaara of the Desert!" The screen showed the matchup between the two boys before zooming in on Gaara. The boy's counterpart was doing the exact same thing as the original was doing at the moment, standing there without budging an inch with his arms crossed. "Gaara of the Desert. Youngest son of the current Kazekage, is our final dark horse of today's events. His fight during the preliminaries was nonexistent as his opponent forfeited his match without a moment's hesitation, so absolutely none of his skills were revealed for his potential opponents to capitalize on." He paused as the screen showed Gaara's time through the second part of the Exams and his mission record.

"What we DO know however is that this kid is no pushover. He made it through the Forest of Death in 2 hours… without getting a bloody scratch. In fact, it seems as if he didn't even get touched during any of his previous missions either, including at least 7 C-ranked missions and, get this, a B-ranked mission." He paused for dramatic effect. "Will these secret skills and advantages result in Shikamaru becoming a bloody stain on the wall, or will the Nara's brain once again prevail?" Shikamaru and Gaara's eyebrows twitched in clear irritation. "Who knows? But let's watch the fight anyways. Shikamaru Nara vs. …" Ghost jumped back from the two. "… Gaara of the Desert. FIGHT!"

Shikamaru wasted no time grabbing several shuriken and throwing them at Gaara. He of course knew what his opponent's abilities were, but he couldn't let the audience know that.

As expected, a shield of sand erupted from the gourd on Gaara's back, blocking the flying metal stars as if they were nothing, and surprising many watching.

Shikamaru swore as he jumped back several feet and attempted to use his Shadow Imitation Technique to get a hold of Gaara. This plan failed as Gaara immediately made a wall of sand in the way of Shikamaru's shadow, preventing him from stretching it long enough to get at his opponent. If that wasn't bad enough, Gaara continued with his sand techniques and shot bullets of the stuff at his opponent from the wall, keeping the Nara on the move.

"Is that it?" Gaara mused as he sent more of his sand at his opponent. "You are surprisingly weak when you are unable to hide or defend yourself. I am starting to wonder if those rumors about you defeating one of… them by yourself is accurate…"

Shikamaru frowned as he dodged the sand bullets. "… I was hoping to at least last a few minutes before I had to rely on what that troublesome woman taught me…" The boy focused chakra to his feet and burst forward with surprising speed to the side of the arena hidden from the sun.

Gaara looked at the Nara in mild interest. "Your speed is impressive, however…" Large amounts of sand erupted from the gourd and rushed to intercept Shikamaru in the shadow. "Do not assume the same thing will work twice…"

The crowd watched in interest as Shikamaru barely made it into the shadow and formed a rat seal before Gaara's sand enveloped him.

"No…" Temari whispered as she watched what happened… only to gape in surprise at what she saw next.

"Shadow Art: Hidden Sea…" Shikamaru muttered as his technique came into effect.

Gaara's sand was completely overtaken by pure darkness as the shadow of the arena burst to life, stripping the sand from its master's control with incredible ease, and revealing Shikamaru crouched on the ground and smirking confidently. To many viewers, it looked as if Shikamaru had just obtained the same sort of power Gaara had… only more. "You know, you're right Gaara. I'm not all that great when I'm out of my element… but then again, I have a feeling that you're in the same boat as me in that regard…" The depth of the shadow around Shikamaru intensified as what could only be described as bullets of darkness shot out from the main mass straight at the shocked Gaara. Said bullets were automatically blocked by his wall of sand, but it still did nothing to lessen the surprise of the reversed situation.

o. o. o.

"Im-impossible…" Shikaku gaped as he watched his son defy the laws of physics. "I thought it was proven that it was impossible to control another shadow as if it were one's own like that… dozens of clan members have died in search of being able to do what he's doing right now…"

Inoichi was also almost speechless at the sight. He thought that the Gaara boy's powers were impressive, but Shikamaru had just responded to it tenfold. "What… what were the limits of your clan's techniques again? Something about the spiritual and physical limitations of natural shadows…"

Shikaku looked at his friend and attempted to calm down. "Shadows aren't like normal elements. They're intangible. Sure, our clan has found ways to use them to trap and kill our opponents, but we can't mold them into something large like dragons, fire them off like shuriken, or control other shadows outside our own like other elements... or at least, we shouldn't be able to." He looked at Shikamaru.

"Shadows are an extension of the caster. It's part of the reason why our Shadow Imitation Technique works the way it does… and it's also the reason that until now, no one in our clan has been able to change the shape of another's shadow like that. Our Shadow Sewing and Shadow Strangling Techniques use almost no physical space whatsoever, which is why we can use them given our shadow's physical limits, and they are always connected to the user. Even an intangible object's shadow would be impervious to our manipulation…"

"So, what you're saying is that Shikamaru down there has somehow managed to break the rules of shadow physics, opening an entire new range of jutsu to your clan… right?" Inoichi asked curiously.

Shikaku nodded his head regretfully. "Unfortunately, yes." He paused. "The Ōgakari are defiantly going to have a word with me after this…"

o. o. o.

"Hello!" Ōnoki mused as he watched the giant shadow come to life. "I didn't expect that to happen…" The old man smirked as he turned to the shocked Kazekage. "Bet you're not so confident now, are ya?!"

"I doubt any of us were…" Sarutobi replied quietly. "I am very familiar with the Nara Clan's techniques, and what Shikamaru is doing right now is rather… irregular…"

Ōnoki snorted. "So what? This entire exam has been irregular! A girl with enough explosives and weapons to put a small village to shame. A boy that can open at least 3 celestial gates. Two Hyūga that can use their clan's strongest techniques, if not make them stronger. A shadow wielding brat that plans farther ahead than most jōnin. A girl that can cause windstorms to occur." He pointed to the arena. "A brat that can use sand as if it were nothing. An Akimichi that can bounce around like one of those blasted super balls and create earthquakes that show up on the rector scale. And a blonde brat that knows obscenely high-level wind jutsu that can spam shadow clones like it's going out of style! I honestly can't be any more surprised unless a hot blonde bombshell magically appeared on my lap stark naked and wanted me to ravish her!"

Rōshi sweat dropped. "You had that vision again last night, didn't you?"

"I CAN HAVE DREAMS TOO DAMN IT!" Ōnoki roared.

o. o. o.

Gaara frowned. He did not expect Shikamaru to put up such a resistance to his attacks, but to actually overwhelm them… it was something that he rarely encountered, even from jōnin. Perhaps… he had underestimated his opponent too much…

Shikamaru smirked. "Hey Gaara, I know it's troublesome, but I'm gonna try and settle this fight right now…" A thin line of shadow shot out from Shikamaru's domain straight at Gaara. Gaara's sand instantly set up a long wall in front of the boy, but was momentarily caught off guard when the shadow split up into multiple lines and continued to shoot forward. "Sorry to disappoint you, but when I'm in this kind of situation, I can use the shadow I'm set up with to lengthen my shadow's range by a pretty large amount…" Gaara's eyes widened as the shadows not only went up and over the wall with relative ease, but around it as well, posing as a multiple fronted attack.

The tendrils had almost gotten to the boy, when the red head jumped up into the air… and landed firmly on a floating cluster of sand, to the shock of everyone there. "I have underestimated you, Nara…" Gaara mused as he rose himself higher into the air… making his shadow less and less visible. "But do not assume that you have won just yet…" Gaara clapped his hands together and channeled a large amount of chakra into the sand he had left on the ground.

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru growled as he recalled his shadows and shot several bursts of shadow bullets at his opponent. They did nothing, as a small but solid layer of sand appeared from Gaara's platform and blocked the shots. Seconds later, the arena floor started to rumble noticeably and cracks were shown on the ground.

o. o. o.

Sarutobi wept anime tears. "Not again… why? Why can't I just have one fight today without someone or something going absolutely out of control?"

One of the Hokage's guards sweat dropped. "Pardon me Hokage-sama, but I believe that the fight between the Haruno girl and the boy from Ame was pretty low key…"

"Just one fight…" The Hokage moaned, clearly ignoring his advisor. "Is that too much?"

o. o. o.

Temari gaped as she guessed what Gaara was about to do. She now knew that Shikamaru was stronger than she had originally guessed, but there was no way he would be able to survive this next technique. "Gaara… don't…"

o. o. o.

"And this is the part where I flee like a little girl…" Ghost said to himself before he ran screaming to the closest wall of the arena.

o. o. o.

"Desert Waterfall…" Gaara growled as the opposite half of the arena erupted in sand. A massive wave of the coarse stones rushed towards the frowning Nara.

"Troublesome…" The boy growled as he channeled more chakra into the massive shadow he was standing in. Just as the massive wave was about to crush him, the shadow jumped out of the wall and countered the sand. The two massive forces collided with incredible force, pushing against each other with incredible power and shaking the arena in the process. The crowd only gaped as they watched in sheer fascination at the spectacle.

However, the standoff was already giving way as Shikamaru's black force was slowly being pushed back farther and farther by the oncoming wave.

Shikamaru grunted under the pressure, trying to think a way out of the bad situation he was in…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

Shadow sat on a rock in front of Shikamaru with a smirk on her face. "So kid, what's your answer?"

Shikamaru sighed as he lay on his back and looked at the ceiling to the training grounds. "God is a shadow/darkness element." He replied bluntly. "The thing that god was known for most was apparently creating everything that exists right now… or at least the foundations to it. If he/she/it had to have come into existence at any point beforehand, there would only be darkness. That in itself is the answer. You can't be a being of light if you were its original creator. Same thing with fire, water… pretty much any other element aside from darkness was non-existent at that point, so… darkness is the answer…"

Shadow smirked. "Correct. I'm guessing that you pretty much figured out how this relates to your training already, right?"

Shikamaru glared at Shadow. "That's what troublesome. The only thing I can come up with is that you want to train me to be some sort of pseudo-god…"

Shadow burst out laughing and fell off the rock she was sitting on. "You?! A God?! HAHAHA! Oh, that's rich! That'll be the day! Hehehehee!"

The Nara's eyebrow twitched. "Then if that's not the point of the training, then what is?"

The immature woman took a few seconds to get the laughs out of her system and calm down before she continued. "Sorry about that. Chuckle." She took a deep breath. "Whew. Now… to be perfectly honest… you guess isn't completely off… sort of." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow as the woman walked to the shadow of the rock she was on. Both eyebrows went up as she reached down and a bird made of complete darkness erupted from the rock's shadow and perched itself on her hand. "Pretty cool huh?" She smirked as the bird looked around and ruffled its feathers like a normal bird would.

"Darkness is an unappreciated element. Cold, scary, it doesn't get many followers. Those that do like it are often complete nut jobs that do nothing but kill, maim, rape, etc. You get the idea. What most people don't get is that it's the perfect mold for everything in existence. Unlike other elements, where you have to shape it in order to get the form you want, darkness works in the reverse. It naturally takes form in the shape you so choose as long as you focus on the shape itself and nothing else. If you try and force it into a shape, it will do jack shit… it's the reason why most shadow users can only go as far as their own shade." She reached out her hand with the bird to Shikamaru. The boy hesitantly reached out his hand, and the bird jumped onto it, only to poof out of existence moments later to his surprise.

"However, in order for a darkness manipulator to cross into these realms, they need to have an intricate knowledge of what they are making to guide the shadows correctly…" Shadow continued without taking note of Shikamaru's expression. She reached into the rock's shadow again and produced another bird. "Stability of these creatures comes from its foundation and inner workings, much like anything else that is alive. The key is not to just shape the being's outsides, but shape their insides as well. Sort of like a black and white diagram of a person's insides. The better the foundation, the longer they last. Believe it or not, I'm actually quite the biologist, chemist, and geologist. I know how animals and elements work to a very detailed level, so this is why I can make things like living animals. You… not so much." She turned to the Nara with a calm and collected look on her face. "Don't bother trying to make anything alive, kid. Stick to giant moving blobs for now. That in itself will be enough for what you have to deal with now. Start off with the rock here, and move up. Think of it as meditation practice."

Shikamaru looked at the woman skeptically before sitting into the rock's shadow and closing his eyes, muttering something about troublesome women as he did so. Too bad he missed what happened next.

Shadow smirked as she walked away. It had been a while since she taught someone the true secrets of shadow manipulation, and it made her somewhat giddy to have someone to talk to about it.

Before she left though, she lifted her hand with the shadow bird and blew gently on it. The dark tinge of the bird gently flew off, revealing a blue and brown swallow looking curiously at the woman. Moments later the bird flew away to the forested area of the grounds.

She would have to make a few more birds to keep it company later…

o. o. o.

 _'Troublesome woman…'_ Shikamaru mentally growled as he pulled on as much chakra as he could. ' _You forgot what my clan does for a living!'_

The giant wave of sand exploded outwards, surprising Gaara and everyone in the arena who had assumed that the sand boy had won. They were even more shocked with what they saw next.

A loud whine echoed throughout the arena as a massive ten-point buck stood at Shikamaru's side of the arena. Easily the size of a large summon, though not quite the size of a boss, the black deer gazed around it with moon like eyes, completely overpowering the sand wave and protecting its summoner from the attack. "Hidden Shadow Art: Lunar Points…" Shikamaru panted.

o. o. o.

"… beautiful…" Temari breathed out in awe as she looked into the deer's eyes.

"… I'm having trouble believing that someone as blatantly lazy as Shikamaru learned how to do something as completely awesome as THAT." Naruto said in a disbelieving tone.

"I am more surprised that Nara-san managed to find a way to survive that attack…" Shino said nervously while shifting his glasses.

"Now that is an ace…" Tenten muttered, obviously impressed.

"Am I the only person concerned that the red headed kid there just turned the entire arena into a desert… and could probably take us all on at once now that he has the playing field advantage?" Sasuke asked dubiously. "Seriously, can anyone here beat a giant sand tsunami, because I would like some hints since I'm going to have to fight him after dobe. Anyone?"

"I have never seen a chakra system like this before…" Neji commented curiously. "It flows like a normal system, but it is constantly shifting around as well…"

 _'Meaning it is almost completely immune to Jūken…'_ Hinata finished Neji's observations in her head. "Who taught Shikamaru-kun again?"

o. o. o.

Shikaku could only gape at what his son had conjured up from the shadow of the arena wall. Despite the shock he was going through, a small part deep inside of the normally stoic man wanted nothing more than to learn what Shikamaru just did.

The rest of his mind went into overdrive, planning out how to deal with the Shikamaru if they ever became at odds with each other. Being one upped by your adolescent son in terms of dangerous killing techniques was not something he was going to enjoy dealing with in the next few years.

o. o. o.

"Whoa…" Ghost mused as he looked at the deer. "I definitely was NOT expecting that. The kid is definitely better than I expected…"

He was interrupted when he heard Zuzushi growl eagerly from his shoulder and looked at him expectantly.

"No, you most certainly not bring that to life for the sole purpose of hunting it. Bringing supersized shadow creatures to life in urban areas is BAD, remember?" Ghost admonished the small dragon.

"Squeak chirp squeak squeak!" Zuzushi countered defiantly.

"I don't care if you haven't experienced the thrill of the obscurely massive hunt for over 20 years now, you can't bring to life one of my minion's more powerful creations just to get buzzed on stalking and killing something big!" Ghost countered adamantly before calming down. "Besides… you'll have enough interesting pray soon enough…"

"Squeak squeh squeh chirp!" The dragon complained.

"Ugh if it's not one thing it's another with you." Ghost groaned. "Fine. I get it. You're tired of taking down human and human like creatures. How about a compromise? You stick with me for the first few groups of baddies and you're free to take down any giant summons that the enemy attacks the village with, all right? Just make sure that the summons you maim are the enemies. The frogs and the snakes that were summoned by Anko are on our side."

Zuzushi pouted as she laid her head on Ghost's shoulder. "… squeh…" She grumbled.

o. o. o.

The buck let off one more moan before it slowly collapsed on itself and sunk back into the wall. The boy mimicked his technique and collapsed onto the ground. "That's it. I give. I don't have any more chakra and it's way too troublesome to keep going even if I did have enough to win the fight…" He breathed heavily and looked up to see Gaara staring down at him with a look of surprise…well, for Gaara anyways. "The troublesome bastard isn't even tired…" Shikamaru groaned to himself as he sat on the ground with no grace whatsoever.

"Hey Shikamaru!" Ghost called out from across the grounds. "You giving up?!"

"Yeah." The boy replied. "I'm out of chakra, and this guy here doesn't even look tired." He pointed to Gaara, who was slowly coming back down to earth.

 _'Actually, using the sand waterfall technique while staying in the air used up a fair amount of my chakra…'_ Gaara mused as he jumped back to the ground. ' _The only reason why I still look completely fine is because I have my armor up, which is preventing any of my sweat from being seen. I would have been in trouble if he had been able to hold that last technique of his for a few more seconds… I doubt my standard shield would have been able to stop a hit from something that big…'_

"All right then!" Ghost replied. "Winner by forfeit, Gaara of the Desert!"

o. o. o.

"Well that was… unexpected…" Asuma chuckled nervously. "I knew Shikamaru had it in him to throw a match… but to pull something like that off was definitely new…"

"I agree." Chuckled Kakashi from behind the observers while reading a book, momentarily making everyone in the room jump and turn around to see the cyclops standing there alongside Gai and Haku.

"Damn it, Kakashi! How many times do we have to tell you to stop that?!" Kurenai yelled while trying to keep her heart rate down.

"It wouldn't have been an issue if you had been paying more attention to your surroundings than the match, Kurenai-san." Kakashi chuckled briefly.

Asuma sighed. "So Kakashi, how did your side mission go?"

"There were no problems whatsoever." Kakashi shrugged. "I thought you would expect more from me by now…"

Gai gave the group his standard thumbs up and shiny teeth smile. "It was most youthful! Haku-san was a most efficient team member to work with and made our task incredibly easier!" Haku blushed while slowly edging away from the spandex wearing man.

"So Kurenai-senpai…" Haku started. "What did we miss so far? We heard several loud commotions coming from the arena while we were making our way here…"

Kiba snorted. "It should be like what didn't you miss." He started to count things off on his fingers. "Lee and Neji beat the living crap out of each other for 15 minutes, Sakura completely shut down that guy from Rain, Shino and Tenten went head to head before Tenten used this huge ass sword to slash a chunk out of the arena's wall with pure chakra, Shikamaru played that girl from Suna like a puppet master…" He went on with a grin on his face. "You missed Naruto and Hinata completely put everyone here to shame, pulling off so many moves so quickly I started to think I was the lucky one not being in the finals. It was epic. Chakra blasts, whips, blades, they were moving so fast and fluently you could hardly keep up with them… and then the dead last pulls that earth style move out of his ass for the win after Hinata used that freaking HUGE Kaiten of hers and pulled off one of her clan's techniques on him, then Chōji." Kiba laughed. "… Oh man, Chōji nearly wrecked the entire arena with that earthquake move of his and completely screwed over that guy from Ame he was against." He then started to laugh incredibly hard. "And then the fight between Ino and Sakura HAHA! Oh man, you should have seen Ino, Haku. She completely snapped for god knows what reason and started ranting about getting a male harem! It was freaking hilarious!"

Kakashi, Gai and Haku all sweat dropped and looked at Kurenai and Asuma for confirmation of what Kiba had just said, only to get blushes and embarrassed nods in response.

"Ah… well then…" Kakashi coughed; clearly unnerved at the description of what happened while he was away. "… at least I won all my bets so far…"

"Aren't you concerned about Naruto and Sasuke?" Kurenai asked with a frown. "They're going to be fighting each other next, you know."

Kakashi shrugged as he continued to read his book. "I trust those two to know where the line is and pull back when the time is right. Besides, Haku and Sakura are here to heal them if something goes wrong."

Haku gave Kakashi an irritated look. "You do realize I am still rather low on chakra at the moment, right Kakashi-senpai?"

"Ah don't worry about it." Kiba chuckled. "Sis is here as well, so Haku can just sit back and enjoy the show."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Hana is here?"

"We all are." Shadow said from a dark corner of the room, causing everyone to jump at once. "Scab mentioned that Ghost needed help with something, and poof, here we are."

Gai looked around expectantly. "I do not see Zabuza-san or Anko-san. Where are they?"

Shadow shrugged as she sat in a seat next to Mubi and ate some of his popcorn on pure reflex. "Around. They're probably trying to find better seats to see the show."

"Hey, you old bitch. What the hell do you think you're doing?" Mubi growled as he reached for a kunai.

" ** _Eating, of course. Do you have a problem, child?"_** Shadow responded in a demonic voice while turning her head in a zombie like manner and showing of incredibly sharp teeth with a horrifying smile and a fair amount of killing intent.

"…n-no…" Mubi squeaked as he tried to put as much distance between himself and the woman as his chair would allow.

"Good!" Shadow replied in a perky girl voice before eating some more popcorn. She turned in the other direction and saw that the rest of the Konoha ninja and Kankurō were edging away from her. "What? I like snacks." She pouted childishly. "Plus, he called me old…"

o. o. o.

In some betting village several dozen miles away:

"YES! I LOVE TIMETRAVELLING!" Roared a female voice, owned by a woman that so far had been constantly right on all of her bets on the Chūnin Exams in Konoha. The matches themselves were being announced and commentated on via radio transmission.

"How the hell is this woman not losing yet?!" Hissed one of the owners of the gambling den. "We're dealing with the fucking Legendary Sucker of all people! How the hell has she been right on all of the fights she's bet on so far?!"

"Beats me…" His companion said nervously. "Luckily, she didn't wager anything on that Aburame/Higurashi fight, but she put up a ton of money on that Uzumaki kid to go undefeated. Despite his stats, the odds of him winning weren't that good… but if he actually wins…"

"Lady Tsunade…" Shizune whimpered nervously. "Perhaps you should tone it down a little. People are starting to stare at you…"

Tsunade grinned evilly, scaring her first apprentice and her pet pig greatly. "Like hell I will, Shizune. I have to take that damn hat in a few weeks, and I'll be damned if I don't get at least one major payout from this whole confusing situation." She turned back to the scoreboard, where it showed that Naruto's match against Sasuke was about to begin. "Come on, brat! Make Granny proud! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

o. o. o.

Back in the arena:

Naruto blinked as he stared off into the distance. "… Why do I have the feeling that more is resting on this match than I think?"

Sasuke stood in front of him and deadpanned. "Because you're crazy?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, it isn't a crazy moment this time… well, it doesn't feel like crazy coming from me, at least…"

Sasuke sighed and rubbed his forehead. "So dobe, you good enough to fight me? I don't want any excuses if I beat your whiskered butt in front of all these people."

Naruto put on a thoughtful look. "Hmmm… I'd say I'm about 70% right now, so everyone watching should be getting a good fight instead of just viewing me beating your face in." He got into a relaxed fighting stance. "There shouldn't be any problems. It's way more than enough to take you down…"

Sasuke smirked as he put one of his hands on his sword. "Keep telling yourself that, dobe. You aren't the only one who learned some new trick over the break."

"Glad to see you two are bonding so well." Ghost chuckled as he stood between the two.

Naruto shot Ghost a pissed off glare and glowing eyes. "I will end you."

Ghost laughed nervously. "Hey… um… no hard feelings about the video… right?"

"I know where you live… and I will make sure you suffer greatly very soon…" The boy growled out in a demonic voice.

"Squeak!" Zuzushi chirped out happily.

"Traitor!" The unnerved man hissed to the dragon on his shoulder before looking at Naruto again. "Just wait a few minutes for me to do my job, then you can try to kill each other, then the rest of the exam can happen, THEN you can start making blood enemies out of me." He turned to the audience rather quickly. "The last match of the quarter finals is about to begin, and do we have a matchup for you! Naruto Uzumaki may have wowed and surprised you in his last match people, but his opponent this time is definitely someone that is expected to go far in today's events." The screen shows Naruto's and Sasuke's stats before zooming in on Sasuke. The blocky version of the Uchiha was shown forming seals and breathing fire, and soon afterwards slashing with a glowing red/orange sword.

"Sasuke Uchiha, the last remaining member of the Uchiha clan is certainly a shinobi of recognition. Graduating at the top of his class and hailed as a genius, Sasuke is the third and final member of Konoha's Team 7… and the second person that helped produce the impressive pregame flaming twister we all saw earlier." The screen shows a picture of Sasuke smirking with his Sharingan active, causing more than a few fangirls in the audience to squee with intensity. "His hobbies include training, cooking, and running away from fangirls with religious vigor." Sasuke glared at the giggling man with intense hatred.

"The boy certainly lives up to his reputation, my friends. He has already unlocked the full potential of his bloodline, and he is an accomplished in more than a few shinobi related fields, including kenjutsu, fire element manipulation, ninjutsu, and taijutsu." The screen backed up and was now showing the field again. "Will Naruto's unique range of techniques and creative planning be enough to take down his teammate, or will Sasuke's elemental advantages and skill seize him victory?! We're about to find out!" Ghost jumped back, prompting both boys to stop glaring at him and shift their attention to their opponent. "Naruto Uzumaki vs. Sasuke Uchiha! FIGHT!"

Sasuke started things off by immediately throwing several kunai at Naruto with precision aim before the blonde could form any seals. Sharingan or not, Naruto's jutsu repertoire was not something he wanted to deal with right off the bat.

Naruto countered the flying kunai with his chakra blades, swinging his arms precisely and slashing each and every kunai in half… except for the last one, which surprisingly tore through the boy's wind blades and cut his cheek. "What the?" Naruto muttered to himself as he quickly looked at the kunai again and saw a faint orange tinge to it. Soon enough, the cut he received started to itch painfully. "Heh. I should have guessed…" Naruto smirked as he turned back to Sasuke and focused chakra into the scratch to stop the fire composed chakra from spreading. "… that you would pull something like this off so soon, teme…" The blonde canceled his chakra blades.

Sasuke returned the smirk with one of his own as he reached for some more shuriken. "You're not giving up so soon, are you, dobe?"

Without warning, the field erupted in white smoke, revealing well over 50 clones, effectively hiding the original. "Please. I could keep going all day long…"

o. o. o.

"You know…" Ōnoki grumbled, taking another swig of sake. "Even though that blonde brat isn't moving as fast as he did in that last match… this fight isn't that bad…" He looked down and saw Sasuke slash through the clones with high levels of skill while somehow managing to dodge the large number of attacks thrown his way. "That Uchiha kid is pretty good. I remember back before that clan collapsed on itself, there were a lot of them running around thinking they were invincible in the middle of the bloody war with a freshly awakened dōjutsu. Poor idiots didn't even last a half a battle against someone worth their mettle. Even the ones that lived only focused on their bloodline after awakening it and let the rest of their skills go down the shitter."

"Mmm. I can agree, but then there were those few Uchiha that really did make up the name of their clan…" Rōshi mused, thinking back to when he was young. "The few that actually practiced using their bodies, their ninjutsu, their taijutsu… those guys were something else entirely... they were somewhat decent bastards too, unlike the majority of their family. It was rare to come across one of those, but when you did…" He let out a dark laugh before drinking out of his bottle some more. "Ah… good times."

The Kazekage did not pay any mind to what the elderly men were talking about as he watched the fight in front of him with great interest. ' _Kukuku. Come Sasuke-kun. Show me your power…'_

o. o. o.

At first, things were looking good for Naruto. Even if Sasuke had the type advantage over him and had his Sharingan active, Naruto had numbers on his side. The general idea was simple. Make some clones, exhaust Sasuke, piss him off, make some awesome plan out of nowhere, pull off some stupid stunt, and profit.

Unfortunately, Naruto didn't take into account that Sasuke had managed to figure out a way to take out his clones extremely quickly while using very little stamina.

Sasuke had taken out about a fourth of the clones Naruto had made when he managed to fight his way outside of the crowd. Naruto's clones were about to attack when Sasuke beat them to the punch, throwing dozens of shuriken and a few additional windmill shuriken for good measure in all directions. It wouldn't have bothered Naruto so much if he didn't realize too late that all of the shuriken had ninja wire wrapped around them and were charged with fire composed chakra.

To make a long story short, the real Naruto jumped. The clones got decapitated. Painfully.

"Fire Style!" Naruto heard from below, snapping him out of his cringing from getting decapitated over 3 dozen times. He looked and saw Sasuke looking at him with his hands in the tiger seal. "Great Fireball Attack!" He roared as he blew out a massive fireball that barreled straight towards the blonde.

"Not today, teme…" Naruto growled as he increased his Presence, causing the audience to shiver unconsciously, and created a massive void of air in front of him. The fireball did not change its course and went straight to the boy, but once it entered the gap in the air, it immediately fizzled and disappeared, much to the surprise of everyone watching.

o. o. o.

"Hey… wasn't that…?" Zabuza mused as he saw the fireball disappear out of thin air from the audience.

"Yep." Anko confirmed before drinking some of her soda. "It's the same trick Ghost uses on me whenever I try to fry him. I guess it was only a matter of time till the brat finally learned how to do it too."

"That's one hell of a trick." The swordsman mused, not paying any attention to the looks several people around him were giving him. "He pretty much has most elemental jutsu users by the balls as far as type advantage goes these days if they don't know any other tricks, since he's has earth style down too."

Anko shrugged. "Meh, it just means that it's harder to kill the kid." She turned around. "Oi, cannon fodder. Tell me how the fight between the Yamanaka and the Haruno went."

The civilians looked at her incredulously. "Why the hell should we tell you?"

A kunai hit his armrest. "Aaaand you were saying about the fight?" Anko asked sweetly with another kunai in hand.

"Um… Anko?" Zabuza said somewhat nervously.

"Not now, wrappers." Anko hushed.

"W-Well, I don't know what happened, but the Yamanaka girl was a bit off. She was ranting about having a male harem since the fight started. Said something about her teachers being in a three-way relationship… lucky bastard…"

Anko paled. "… and?"

The man shrugged sheepishly. "Well, she was winning for most of the match, but then the Haruno girl managed to escape her clan's techniques. She went after her opponent, but something happened in the trees and the pink girl ended up taking her down with a punch to the stomach after throwing her into the ground…"

"Is… that so?" Anko replied with a twitch in her eyebrow and a more than fake smile. ' _FUCK! My first chance to show my results as a teacher and that blonde brat screwed me over worse than that time Ghost and I used shadow clones on a tied-up Hana! I'm never going to get my promotion at this rate! Inoichi is never going to forgive me! Fuck Inoichi, if…'_

"Ankooo…" Zabuza warned in a panicking tone, poking the freaking out woman in the side.

"WHAT! Can't you see I'm having a distinct panic attack here!?" Anko roared as she turned around… only to find that she wasn't alone with Zabuza. "… Tsume?" The woman squeaked in a fearful tone.

"We need to talk…" The Inuzuka clan leader growled with her arms crossed.

o. o. o.

Sasuke frowned as his attack was canceled with his opponent not even lifting a finger. He gave Ghost a brief glance.

The man was picking his nose without a care in the world.

The Uchiha sighed to himself. He should have known better than to expect any sign of recognition from the man in the middle of the fight. The boy gathered up his chakra again as Naruto landed on the ground. Oh well. He supposed now was as good a time as any to test out one of the new moves that Kakashi taught him and use the advice he was given the week before…

Naruto blinked as he sensed Sasuke's chakra spike. He wasn't going to use another fire technique against him, was he? Didn't he just show that those attacks don't work on him? Naruto took a lose stance. His opponent was up to something…

"Fire-Style: Napalm Flow!" Sasuke roared as he spat a flaming stream of liquid at Naruto.

"A fire jutsu is still a fire jutsu, teme! That won't work on me!" Naruto roared as he spiked his Presence again and created another void in the path of the attack.

It was after this moment that Naruto made a promise to himself to never under any circumstances underestimate the fire element ever again.

The moment the flaming stream hit the void, Murphy's law went into full swing. The stream's flames calmed down, but the liquid that fueled it still remained, and it spread out rapidly due to the sucking force of the vacuum. The drops of flammable liquid that exited the void first almost immediately ignited due to the intense heat they were already at.

Naruto nearly shit himself as he saw the somewhat narrow flaming stream spread out into a wide, spraying, very much on fire wall right in front of him.

The crowd gasped in surprise as Naruto appeared to be consumed by the raging liquid inferno and Sasuke canceled out his attack. He had his doubts about whether that technique would work or not, but he was just as surprised as everyone else at the results. If he had actually used that WITH Naruto's technique instead of against it, it could have easily spawned another collaboration move… but he could think about grand arson genocide later.

He extremely doubted that the dobe would be beaten that easily…

Almost on cue, the Naruto that had just been flambéed popped in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto swore up a storm silently as he attempted to regain his breath. He had only barely managed to replace himself at the last moment with the clone he had set up in the trees earlier just in case he needed a quick escape, and even then, a good portion of his right arm had been torched enough to cause a fair number of third degree burns to show. To say it hurt would be an understatement, as the burning liquid was extremely difficult to clean out and diffuse, even with his chakra and healing powers.

There was no way in hell that Sasuke just happened to have learned a fire technique that was the perfect counter to his void defenses, and for the Uchiha to have used it so confidently right after he proved he could counter a standard fire attack could mean only one thing.

Ghost had been giving away his weaknesses to his potential opponents. As if Ghost was reading his mind, Naruto felt out that the sadistic man was whistling innocently and looking in the opposite direction. Come to think of it, Hinata's last ditch effort to take him down had completely taken him by surprise as well. He couldn't sense her at all inside her Kaiten, and the only person that gave the girl any real training over the past month was, surprise, surprise, Ghost.

Oh, he would have his revenge after the invasion was over. Sweet, delicious, ramen covered revenge… but for now he had an Uchiha to fight…

"Fire-Style: Great Fireball!" Sasuke roared as he launched his attack at the tree that he was pretty sure Naruto was hiding behind. He had seen a flash of chakra there just moments before with his Sharingan and he wasn't taking any chances and let the dobe come up with a counter attack. Naruto's frame jumped out from behind the tree just before the fireball decimated it. Flipping through different seals again, Sasuke smirked as he unleashed his napalm flow technique on the blonde again, who was running through seals of his own.

"Earth-Style: Earth Wall!" Naruto yelled as he slammed his hands onto the ground, forcing up a giant 4 meter tall stone wall to block the fire attack with ease and temporarily surprising Sasuke.

"Tch… not bad dobe…" Sasuke growled with a small smirk as he grabbed some more wire and shuriken. "… but too bad for you it's not good enough this time…" He chucked the shuriken at and around the wall, holding onto the wires they were connected to. Just as they were about to strike the wall, he channeled lightning composed chakra into the wires, causing them to spark with electricity, and sliced the wall to pieces. Naruto only barely managed to jump out of the way of the falling and burning debris…

Only to see that there were two Sasuke in front of him now. One was manipulating the shuriken and strings; the other was holding up a tiger sign. Both smirking confidently.

"FUCK!" Naruto swore as he desperately made another wall, this one twice as big as before, just in time to block the stream of liquid fire again. Sasuke chuckled confidently as his clone threw more shuriken. "Your wall won't help you dobe! Lightning beats Earth!"

"And Wind beats Lightning!" Naruto roared as two wind blades appeared from the side of the wall and slashed apart the wires and shuriken, sending them flying harmlessly across the arena. But Naruto wasn't done yet apparently, as Sasuke saw the blades slash straight through the burning wall several times, but somehow not cutting it to pieces. "AND AN INFERNO BEATS A FIRE!"

Sasuke's confusion disappeared though as his senses went into overdrive and heard something at his feet. He barely managed to jump back fast enough to avoid a hand that erupted from the ground from grabbing his leg. His clone was not so lucky and was quickly dragged down, where it dispelled.

"WIND STYLE!" Naruto's voice echoed throughout the stadium from behind the wall, causing Sasuke to pale considerably since he was still in midair. With his Sharingan active, he could see the massive amounts of chakra that Naruto was conjuring up, even with the wall in the way. "ATSUGAI!" The blonde roared as the wall exploded into a large number of flaming boulders that all hurtled towards the Uchiha in a giant spray of earth, wind, and fire.

"Fuck!" Sasuke yelled in a panicked tone as he reached for his sword. It didn't make things much easier that the wind was making the fire incredibly intense in addition to the already devastating combination of elements in the attack, all of which he needed to counter. He had imagined many scenarios for using this next technique in battle, but he had never assumed that he would need it to defend against a hybrid earth, wind, and fire attack! He didn't even know if he could pull it off in time, but he was out of options as the first flaming boulder rapidly approached him.

First, he channeled fire chakra into his blade to counter the cutting power of the wind and cancel out the fire…

Then he channeled the lightning to cut through the boulders… making sure that it maintained enough heat and chakra to keep the previously existing fire chakra maintained and effective…

"Blaze Edge!" Sasuke roared as he slashed and dodged through the offending boulders with his sword, which was now glowing pure red on the outside and white on the inside, humming dangerously with each swing. Of course, even with this augmented blade and his Sharingan, Sasuke couldn't escape from all the damage and attacks, but the boy had definitely made sure that he would be able to get out of his situation in fighting shape.

o. o. o.

"Man… these guys really don't hold back do they?" Tenten laughed nervously at the spectacle in front of her. "I mean those two are teammates, but they could have killed each other at least a dozen times by now…"

"They've always been like that…" Sakura answered in a tired tone. "It's kind of like a rivalry thing that's been going on between them, like Lee and Neji, only these two really want to test themselves out to the max… boys… ugh…"

"Still, it is a bit excessive for a mere rivalry, would you not agree?" Shino commented a bit nervously as Sasuke slashed through a particularly large boulder, but still got burned by the amplified fire it was giving off.

"I believe the expression that would best answer this that Naruto and Sasuke would agree with would be 'go big or go home'." Neji answered with his dōjutsu activated.

o. o. o.

"Wow…" Omoi mused as he watched the fight. "That Uchiha kid's swordsmanship isn't bad. He's pretty close to our level if my guess is right. But the way he channels his chakra…"

"It's like a rough version of Bee-sensei's chakra streaming… only he's using two elements at once…" Karui said in an unbelieving tone. "I've never heard of someone do that before…"

"Neither have I…" Yugito replied as she saw the boy get pelted with small flaming rocks. "He will definitely be someone to be wary of later should he continue to grow at the rate he's going…"

"But what about the blonde boy?" Samui asked curiously. "He has proven to be clearly more dangerous than almost all of the other participants in this exam…"

Yugito sighed. "Conveniently enough, I actually ran across him several days ago while sightseeing the village. Despite his childish personality, I could tell that he doesn't let his emotions rule his judgment… and he's a surprisingly good judge of character. Bottom line, so long as you don't make an enemy out of either of the boys down there, there shouldn't be any trouble."

"And if we happen to cross blades by chance?" Karui asked with an eyebrow raised.

Yugito chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her head. "Well, I might come up with something eventually… but you guys… not so much…"

o. o. o.

While everyone in the audience was gaping at the spectacle, Ghost was having trouble breathing out of sheer uncontrolled laughter. "HAHAHA! HOLY SHIT! NO WONDER HE WENT EVIL SO EASILY! RED EYES! HYPNOTIC POWERS! LIGHTNING FROM THE HANDS! A GLOWING RED SWORD! THE KID IS A NATURAL FUCKING SITH LORD! HAHAHAHAHA! OH GOD! MY SIDES! I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS! HEHEHE!"

o. o. o.

Naruto and Sasuke panted heavily as they glared at each other, both sporting cuts, bruises and burns, and clearly ignoring their proctors nonsensical laughing. Sasuke had managed to avoid any real damage, but he was still hurt fairly badly if not treated in a reasonable amount of time.

"Not… hah… not bad dobe…" Sasuke chuckled as he straightened himself out and raised his still glowing sword. "You're a lot… gasp… harder to take down than I thought. That last trick was something else, too bad it didn't work since I had this up my sleeve…"

Naruto coughed heavily. Atsugai and most wind techniques didn't normally do much damage to the owner when used, but Naruto had used so much chakra in that last attack that his throat was a bit scratched in the process. "Hey, teme… five words…" The blonde rasped out.

Sasuke frowned as he stood in the middle of the flaming stones. "What is it…!?"

Sasuke froze as no less than a dozen wind blades surrounded him from every angle he could think of. Moments later, a good 20 stones around him exploded in a cloud of smoke to each show a smirking clone of Naruto in its place holding and pressing a wind blade against a portion of his body.

"I'm never out of tricks." The blonde chuckled darkly.

o. o. o.

Ōnoki blinked in surprise. "Well I'll be damned. That kid actually managed to pull something like that off... I doubt even jōnin could think on the spot like that…"

Sarutobi nodded. "Indeed. Both boys have proven to be exceptional shinobi… though I feel I must let you know that Naruto-kun is rather spontaneous. I don't doubt that he made up that plan on the fly as time went on." He sweat dropped. "It's the reason why our ANBU hate chasing after him so much. Sasuke-kun, on the other hand, I can guess planned many of his moves ahead of time and acted accordingly…"

"I can tell." Ōnoki replied with a critical eye. "Both of them can already manipulate 2 elements almost expertly, but the Uchiha brat combined them with his tools with beyond exceptional precision. The blonde brat kept on throwing them around in the right direction, but there was no finesse other than those wind evasion and blade techniques of his. Still, regardless he mixes up everything he knows so well that his opponents are bound to get caught off guard at one point or another. He doesn't restrict himself or his techniques with a single base purpose at any point. Take that wall for example. He used it to shield against an attack, then he used it to hide his movements, and finally he blasted it apart with his wind technique in order to make his attack even more devastating to his opponents. It makes his movements somewhat harder to read and guess what he's going to do next…"

o. o. o.

"I give up!" Naruto announced with a wide grin on his face.

o. o. o.

"… like that." Ōnoki continued without paying much initial attention before blinking absently. "… he did what now?"

" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"** Screamed a frantic and extremely far off voice in the distance.

The Kazekage's movements had frozen. He had almost given the signal to start the invasion when the blonde spoke up, and he managed to put his hand back down just in time to stall the events a little further. "I… I believe the Uzumaki has forfeited…" He replied in a rather disbelieving voice. The disguised Sannin had planned on starting the invasion during one of Sasuke's fights in order to catch him when weakened. If the boy was to continue on to fight Gaara, he could easily time things to accommodate Kabuto's assignment. What was another hour's worth of entertainment going to do, anyways?

Sarutobi deadpanned. "… I should have guessed. He really is this village's most unpredictable shinobi…"

o. o. o.

Sasuke gaped at his opponent as the clones around him poofed out of existence. "You… you're kidding me… right?" He frowned in anger. "Why the hell would you throw in the towel when you just won?!"

Naruto laughed as he sat on the ground with a wince. "Hey. I don't know about you, but two epic fights a day is my limit… willingly, at least. As much as I enjoy showing off, I do not want to try my hand at fighting a freaking sand tsunami. Besides, do you know how many people would get pissed if you of all people lost to me?"

" **NOT AS PISSED AS I AM! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, BRAAAATTTT!"** Roared an extremely angry, very distant, and apparently female voice.

Naruto paled. "… you owe me, teme. You owe me so much…" He tried to calm down. "… anyways… you have the type advantage over Gaara, so you have a better chance of beating him than I do with that sword of yours. Just pierce your way through that wave. Creepy face or not, that move has to take a lot of chakra out of him no matter which way you see it." The blonde shrugged casually as a grin crept on his face. "Besides, now that I'm not fighting in the Exams anymore, I can HAVE MY REVENGE!" The jinchūriki roared as he turned to Ghost who was standing several meters away from them, with his blades fully extended and in full swing…

Only for Ghost to lazily catch them between the fingers of one of his hands. "REVENGE DENIED!" Ghost laughed with a grin on his face as he raised his other hand and blasted the blond with a thick pulse of air. Naruto was launched at an incredible speed towards the arena wall and crashed into it face first. Ghost looked at the stunned arena curiously as if what just occurred didn't happen, then back at the downed Naruto. "Um… Winner by KO! Sasuke Uchiha!"

The audience was silent as they tried to process what just happened and figure out what they should be feeling right now. First the Kyūbi brat beat the Uchiha in what was nothing short of an amazing fight. Then before the announcer could call the match the brat forfeits the match on a whim. The two talked about something for a few moments before the blonde kid suddenly attacked the proctor with his wind blades. Said proctor blocks said blades with a single hand and takes the kid down literally single handedly before claiming the Uchiha as the winner by knockout when he was clearly the one who did it.

Ghost turned to a seemingly random part of the arena. "By the way, judges; it would be best if you just wrote off that last part. He really does deserve to get his revenge on me for oh so many reasons… he's just not going to get it that easily… heheheh."

"REVENGE!" Roared a familiar voice as a body flew towards the sadistic man. Ghost jumped back to avoid another one of Naruto's slashes. If anyone bothered to look, they would see that the wall that Naruto crashed into had a very distinct imprint of his face and body on it.

Everyone sweat dropped as they watched the blonde boy chase the laughing man around the arena while Sasuke just sat there still processing what the hell just happened…

"Can you remind me again why I'm doing this?" Ghost's voice echoed over the loudspeakers, causing people to blink in confusion before noticing that the screen was showing a video of a tied-up Ghost in a pink spandex outfit much like Gai's suit with a frilly maid's hat… thing on his head and a maid skirt around his waist, oh yeah, he was covered in raw meat as well. Behind him there was a giant hole in the ground with a gate around it.

"You lost poker night but we had to put off your penalty game because Crypt set some crime lord's pants on fire and caused him to send his gang after us… remember?" Scabbard's neutral voice responded. "You know, after you told him to make a distraction when you lost all your chips? Then when we tried to get back at you for THAT stunt, you locked us inside a military bunker, flooded the entire place with an ungodly amount of demon pheromones, and let loose a bunch of adolescent chimera throughout the place…"

"And finally, we had to spend 4 months looking for you, only to find out that you had been hiding under Shadow's bed the entire time…" Waltz growled angrily.

Ghost chuckled nervously. "Heheh. What? No one ever looks under there. Plus, she had stored so many snacks there that I barely needed to come out other than for the occasional bathroom break… now, if you would just let me go…"

Shadow walked into the camera's view, smiling evilly. "Oh brother, stop being such a wuss and jump into the pit of carnivorous tentacle monsters already…" She then grabbed him and lifted the thrashing man over her head with ease.

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?" Growled Scabbard from off screen.

Ghost paused. "… to be honest, I'm starting to wonder where the hell I got my hands on a small army of sexually active chimera in the first place. I mean, the odds of actually finding even one that is actually able to reproduce is astronomically high when you think about it…"

Silence.

"… this… indeed requires further investigation. We will have to see if there are any left in the base that we didn't butcher already…" Scabbard said in a distant tone. "But for now, our main task remains making you suffer."

"Oi Oi! Can't you force me to do something with a less likely chance of me getting violated!?" Ghost yelled out in a panicked tone, struggling helplessly in his sister's clutches.

"Yes." Shadow replied simply before chucking the high pitched screaming man into the pit. The girl turned around. "You guys up for pancakes?"

"I'm in." Gruffed Waltz's voice.

"Same here." Scabbard replied as the camera turned away from the hole in the ground.

"Will there be blood in the pancakes?" Crypt asked innocently.

"There's chocolate chips." Shadow replied with a shrug.

"I like chocolate! No matter what flavor you get, you can always taste the broken dreams!" Crypt said in a hyper manner.

"That's the sugar, Crypt." Waltz sighed.

"There's a difference?" The insane man replied curiously before the screen went black.

The audience was silent as they turned their attention to Ghost, who was gaping at the screen and pointing at it limply. Naruto had forgone his quest for revenge and instead was preoccupied with rolling on the ground, laughing his ass off.

Much of the audience soon followed suit.

"This means war, Scab…" Ghost mumbled out loud with a combination or rage and horrified trauma mixed together. "Unconstrained, irrefutable, fangirl weapon based war…" ' _COME ON OROCHIMARU! START THE INVASION ALREADY! I NEED TO KILL SOMETHING!'_

"I hope you learned your lesson, Ghost…" Spoke a familiar monotone voice from the edge of the arena. Everyone turned to see Scabbard leaning against the wall of one of the entrances with a bored look on his face. "Everyone here is on a tight schedule. They don't have time for your eccentric hobbies…" He turned to recovering Naruto. "I believe that was enough to sate your passion for revenge for the moment, Uzumaki-san. Now if you and Uchiha-san would please leave the stadium, we can finally start the semi-finals. Unless you have forgotten how to count, there are only 4 contestants left in the arena…"

Ghost took in a deep breath and groaned as he stood up again. "Tch. Killjoy. You heard the bastard. Get your butts in gear guys. You don't want to piss Sakura off now, do you?" The man took some pleasure as he saw the boy's faces pale before they both ran inside. "I take it you are in control of the situation now, pineapple-head?" Ghost mumbled quietly into his radio.

"… troublesome… yeah I hear you…" Replied a distorted but clear voice in his ear piece. "I'm guessing you want to tell me something interesting… other than what it feels like to be a man violated by tentacles?"

"You just earned yourself a special place on my get-back list, little boy…" Ghost growled. "But that can be for later. I've been scoping out the audience and the buildings nearby during the fights. Other than the ANBU and people in the shinobi sections, I have about 100 sleepers in the civilian section or elsewhere in the building, and another 70 in surrounding buildings. What does that tell you?"

Ghost didn't get an immediate response as he walked to the middle of the arena again, noting that Scabbard had already disappeared into the building again. "… I went over who we have in the arena right now. About a fourth of the guys hidden in the arena are ours, and only a fifth outside are as well. I'll do the math on what to do, but since most of the sensei and you guys are there, it shouldn't matter anyways…"

Ghost smirked. "Ah yeah, about that. I forgot to mention that a little over a dozen of them have an off feeling to their chakra, like it's been tainted. Odds are those are the goonies that snake face sent to take us meddling Ōgakari down with, so count us out."

"Troublesome bastard…" Grumbled the boy. "You knew that was going to happen, didn't you?"

"Of course." Ghost replied with a shrug. "I dropped part of the Forest of Death on his freaking head. I would be surprised if he didn't plan something remotely interesting to send after me at least. Mad scientist types always do have such a hard time controlling their pride when they feel they are in control of everything." The man stretched, seemingly already over his recent embarrassing situation. "So how has everyone been doing on the outside?"

Shikamaru sighed. "So far there have been a couple of dozen deaths on our side from failed ambushes, but other than that it's been going perfectly. Almost all of the traps have been set and a summoning platoon has been wiped out. Kakashi-sensei's and Shadow-sensei's teams are back in the arena for backup, and the enemy is still waiting for Orochimaru's signal."

"Good." The long-haired man replied. "It gives the rest of the teams about 20-30 more minutes to finish their traps. By the way, good job with the shadow manifestation. I didn't think you had it in you to pull something that big off. We weren't expecting you to be able to do something like that for at least another two years. Those things are notoriously complicated to make, you know. Lord knows how much Midget complained and moaned before she managed to get to that point."

"Yeah." Shikamaru snorted. "They were so notorious I never even heard of it. Is there anything else you want to ask before I get back to what I'm supposed to be doing?"

Ghost paused. "… yeah. Is there anything I need to be aware of before the invasion starts? Any shifting of forces, exchanged items, new individuals…"

Shikamaru paused a few moments. "Well, as far as forces go, there aren't any changes that I or Scab haven't already maneuvered our forces around. There also haven't been any sightings of unique or particularly dangerous ninja yet either…"

"I sense a 'but' coming, and not a sexy one either…" Ghost mumbled.

"… well, I told Chōji to get ready for the exams, and he seemed to figure out that something big was up with them. He eventually told Ino and…" The Nara continued.

"Please tell me she didn't go gossip mode on us." The immortal groaned.

"Just the opposite actually." The boy replied. "You know how she was almost late to the Exams?"

"Yeah. I would have assumed she was doing her makeup if she wasn't sweating a bit and nothing was running. I'm guessing she was preparing something?" Ghost mused, connecting the dots.

"A whole lot of troublesome something's." Shikamaru answered with a sigh. "Ino spent the entire night making pouches with kunai and shuriken laced with poison that Anko apparently banned her from using in the Exams. Supposedly she set up a hidden greenroom inside one of the walls of her bathroom, all laced with flowers that make ingredients for her more… potent mixes. She had enough of the stuff to make fully stocked pouches for all of the rookies and Gai's team, and even managed to store a few vials of antidote in each pouch too."

Ghost whistled in an impressed tone. "Damn. You must have freaked Chōji out big time if Ino took this big of a precaution."

Shikamaru ignored Ghost's statement and continued. "I passed by the two before coming here. They're giving out a pouch to everyone that's out of the Exams so that there isn't a mix-up just in case. Right now, everyone aside from Lee, Tenten, and Kiba know that something's up with these Exams, and even then, it's only a matter of time until hell breaks loose..."

Ghost smirked as he saw Sakura and Tenten walk onto the arena floor. "True. But at this point, the main question is who will hell be opening its gates for by the end of today?"

o. o. o.

Kabuto frowned as he saw Orochimaru stop in the middle of giving the command to start the invasion. He had no doubt in his mind that his master wanted to see the Uchiha fight Gaara even just a little before he put his plan into action, but with every passing second the chances of getting caught by Konoha's forces and losing the element of surprise grew. He had no doubt that the Leaf were on guard since his master had announced his presence during the second exam, and he had noticed that they were going through standard protocol for dealing with the situation during the month break… but still, something didn't feel right with him.

First of all, there were far more ANBU than expected in the arena. Though he couldn't write it off since the Hokage and a large number of promising young shinobi and world leaders were here, it still struck him as odd that there would be so many high ranking and skilled shinobi here when they could be out trying to figure out what the hell was happening.

Then, there were the Suna-nin at the arena. They seemed to be on edge, of course, but something kept crawling underneath his skin when he looked at a few of them. Some seemed… angry, would be the correct choice of words. This was odd. Kabuto had been involved in many coups, takeovers, and actions of the like, often playing a role on both sides. He was exceptionally good at reading people, and that's what confused him. Invaders don't normally get angry before they start said invasion. Sure, they get serious, bloodthirsty, even sometimes sad, but angry was a definite rarity. The reason being was simply because there normally was no reason to get angry. Sure, there may be one or two people in Suna that might hold a grudge against Konoha for things in the past. He was pretty sure that the White Fang killed a fair number of Suna ninja in the second war, but at this point in time, there shouldn't be enough to warrant more than a couple of people from Suna from getting actually angry, at most. This wasn't the case, as he could see at least a dozen shinobi from the west having trouble holding in their emotions. Once again though, it was something worth noting… but not exactly something significant by itself.

Third was, of course, that confusing Ōgakari clan. Kabuto knew better than most people that the stronger a person, was the more prone they were to childish behavior, but this was clearly pushing it. Figuring out if a person was strong was a simple manner for any shinobi worth their mettle, but finding out how particularly strong was something only a few could do without getting caught or killed. If he judged on behavior alone, Ghost could be anywhere from upper chūnin to kage from what he could guess…

But if Orochimaru was telling the truth, then the man was at the very least an elite jōnin. Throw in the rest of the clan, and the chances of the invasion succeeding just dropped another 20%. Elite jōnin were extremely hard to come by, and for good reason, too, considering that they were regarded as shinobi one step below the Kage. The reason why Orochimaru had been so confident at all about the invasion was the distinct lack of elite jōnin in the village.

Despite the belief that Konoha was the strongest shinobi village in the Elemental Nations, there were some things lost in translation. Kumo for example, had the greatest number of Kage level shinobi inside the village, with the Raikage and the two jinchūriki at his side trained to master their respective skills, but their numbers of jōnin and elite jōnin were somewhat lacking, and their numbers of special jōnin were not something to brag about either.

Iwa, on the other hand, had Ōnoki and two jinchūriki as well, although they were not trained as well as Kumo's. They had the largest number of special to elite jōnin out of all the Elemental Nations, and their number of jōnin were not something to scoff at either. However, their genin and chūnin survival rate were not something to brag about, which drastically impaired their military power.

Konoha, though, was well balanced. Because of its incredibly large population and teamwork based training regimen, the village boasted the greatest survival rate out of all the shinobi nations in terms of mission attendance, even with missions that are mislabeled. All of its forces were well above average in number with every rank up to the elite jōnin rank. As of the moment, the only known elite jōnin in the village were several particular clan leaders, Kakashi, Gai, and several ANBU captains. As for shinobi that are considered Kage rank, only Hiruzen Sarutobi, Jiraiya, and Tsunade are publicly known to be at that level, and two of them are almost never seen inside the village. Though… it is well known in the underground that Danzō himself is a potential force at that rank, though he's kept himself out of the light for so long that no one is absolutely sure if he is actually capable of battle anymore.

With two of the Kage level shinobi apparently outside of the village and the remaining two being elderly old men, Orochimaru decided to take his chances and take down his former home once and for all. With a surprise attack, backing from Suna, and several large scale summons the plan did have a good chance of succeeding…

But the Ōgakari were a complete wild card, and Kabuto didn't like it. The way they acted, the rumors of their skills, their supposed techniques. There were too many unknown variables with them… and yet even with such immature behavior, one of them is proctoring for the Chūnin Exams, representing the village with the Hokage's permission of all things, making a complete mockery of himself and the village in front of many Daimyō, and still nothing is being done.

They were simply… too confident. That was probably the best way to describe them. In a world like theirs, with shinobi lurking in the shadows at every turn, such behavior could get you killed far too easily, even for a shinobi on Orochimaru's level… but here they were, screaming and yelling like children, angering people at a whim and laughing about it all the while. It unnerved Kabuto. There were plenty of shinobi that acted relaxed a good portion of the time but still acted warily when the time was appropriate… but there was none of that with these people. There was no hesitation or forethought whatsoever, and that was what had the boy spooked. To have that sort of personality and still be alive in this world meant one of two things:

Said person was not long for this world, or

Said person was on a whole different level of skill and didn't even consider any potential opposition around him as a real threat.

The more he pondered it, the more the spy hoped it was the first case…

o. o. o.

Temari sheepishly walked up to her youngest brother. "Hey… Gaara? Can we talk for a moment?"

The red head turned his head only enough so that he could see her out of the corner of his eyes. "… what is it?" He asked in a dull voice.

The girl sighed as she stepped next to him and leaned against the railing. "I… I want to thank you…"

Gaara made no reaction to his sister's statement as he turned to look down at the arena grounds again. "… what for? I do not recall doing anything that deserved earning your thanks…"

Temari looked at her brother momentarily. "You… you didn't try to kill Shikamaru after he gave up the match. I know how much you like to kill strong opponents…"

Gaara blinked once. "I still don't know why this deserves your thanks. Do you find him attractive?"

Temari gaped as her brother asked her such a sensitive thing so… bluntly! "N-No! I don't like him like that! It's just he's a good guy and I like spending time with him that's all!"

Gaara stared at her for a few seconds. If he was prone to showing any emotion at all, she would have sworn he was staring at her disbelievingly. "I see…" He replied before going quiet again. "… will this mean you will stop those rants about not having any decent male comrades now?"

Temari's jaw dropped and could only stare at Gaara. "W-w-what?"

Gaara sighed and walked to the other side of the stand. "You are more pleasant to be around when you are not complaining about boys…" Temari stared at Gaara's back, dumbfounded at what her brother had just told her, stuck between wondering what the hell happened, processing what Gaara had told her, and deciding on whether or not it was a smart idea to bash the demon container over the head with her fan for the insult. She never noticed the very faint smile on his face. "You're welcome."

o. o. o.

Shikaku frowned as the radio he had been wearing the entire time came to life and gave him instructions. "Hey, come on, we have work to do." He grumbled to his friend.

Inoichi frowned. "Where to?"

Shikaku grunted as he stood up and stretched. "We're meeting up with Chōza outside the arena. We're just going to check the surrounding area…"

 _'So, they're around the arena as well as in it too, eh?'_ Inoichi thought as he stood up. "Fine, but I'm not happy about leaving Ino here in her condition…"

Shikaku shook his head before raising an eyebrow and chuckled lightly. "So that's the reason, eh? I thought that might be the case…"

Inoichi raised an eyebrow as the two started walking to the exit. "Something I should know about?"

The scarred Nara shrugged. "I guess. I mean I thought it was a bit weird that your daughter made it here so late all sweaty with no running makeup when she spent so much time in her bathroom… you know, you should really turn your radio on." He paused. "By the way, you're not as angry as you were before…"

Inoichi sighed. "Well, I was going to castrate and rip out horrible memories to use as blackmail from Ghost, but then after what Ino and Scabbard-san did to him, I doubt I could do anything worse at the moment…" He turned on his radio.

"You're going to wait several weeks before you switch minds with him and make it look like he's peeking on the jōnin kunoichi springs, aren't you?" Shikaku smirked.

"Yep." Inoichi replied bluntly. "Just like the good old days…"

"Troublesome old geezers…" Grumbled the voice on the radio.

"We can hear you, Shikamaru." His father replied. "You do realize I'm in charge of what you do at home, right?"

"You do realize I could send you into the middle of enemy territory, right?" Shikamaru responded with a somewhat sarcastic tone.

Shikaku paled. "Point taken."

o. o. o.

"So. Can you two please explain to me why I shouldn't tear you two apart and castrate Ghost with Kuromaru's nail clippers?" Tsume growled as she stood angrily in front of her daughter and Anko.

 _'I thought Ghost was kidding when he said she threatened to do that!'_ Anko thought. "W-what do you want us to say Tsume? Ghost, Hana, and I are kind of a… set..."

Tsume turned her attention to Hana. "I knew that you had your sights on the Ōgakari for a while now, but I didn't think you were actually in a… group activity with him…"

Hana looked down. "I… I don't know what to say, mom. Being with Ghost-kun and Anko is… fun. I like being with both of them. They support me and I support them…"

Tsume growled as she rubbed her forehead. She so didn't want to deal with this before an invasion. "How do I know that he's not simply taking advantage of you? I mean I can deal with it if it was just you Anko, but Hana is a different story…"

Anko frowned. "Hey, hey. First of all, I don't like the way you just talked to me like that, Tsume, so watch your tongue before something unfortunate happens. Second of all, Ghost has actually been nothing short of loyal to us ever since we decided to all hook up at once and we haven't betrayed each other's trust since then… minus Ghost's occasional perverted peeking spasms… or that time with those Hyūga twins… that was good night… he actually came to us begging for permission for a fivesome when they first asked him which was surprising considering… you know… kinky Hyūga twins … you know, I think I remember their phone number…"

"What Anko means to say is…" Hana interrupted as Anko started to bleed from the nose. "We don't betray each other mom. Ghost has been helping us get stronger for over a year now! We trust him with our lives!"

Tsume's face scrunched. Her alpha instincts were kicking in and the woman wasn't ready to give up the argument just yet. "Really? How do you that he won't just get tired of you two and move on to someone else? You two could just be toys to him until he finds someone better?"

"He won't!" Anko yelled furiously before calming down… "He hasn't… he can't…"

The Inuzuka matriarch raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is there something about his love life I don't know about?"

Hana gulped as she looked away from her mom and Anko. "We… we don't know mom. We know that he's been in relationships before, but… something happened with his last one…"

The eldest woman snorted. "Huh! So? He got dumped! The man is an Ōgakari, for crying out loud! Nothing gets to those guys…"

"This one did…" Anko growled, momentarily stunning the woman and glaring unwaveringly into her accuser's eyes. "It got to all of them. Badly. I don't have to remind you that I work in the T.I. department, Tsume. I've seen enough to know that whatever happened was big enough to get underneath their skin, deeper than anything Ibiki could ever get, and stay there." She looked at Hana and shivered. "It was significant enough that Scabbard threatened us with a good portion of his power to not take advantage of Ghost's emotions or his secrets…" She looked at Tsume dead in the eyes again. "That was the only time I have ever seen an Ōgakari even remotely serious Tsume… and I give my regards to the family of anyone unfortunate or retarded enough to be on the wrong side of any of them when they are truly pissed… because if there is a body left over at all, I highly doubt anyone would want to look at it." She took in a deep breath. "Dogs aren't the only animals that take care of their own, Tsume. I've seen how Ghost and Naruto interact with each other. Those two would stick with the other through the most impossible situations with a smile on their face and cracking bad jokes the entire time. I have no doubt that he would do the same thing for us…"

Tsume lost some of her composure. Anko had completely reversed the situation on her, and even Hana was glaring at her with conviction. "Tch… fine. So maybe he won't cheat on you… but still, how are you supposed to make a name for yourself if you are known for being in a threesome with a madman?! Do you know what this will do to our clan's reputation?" She countered.

"I already have a name…" Hana whispered quietly. "Ghost-kun gave it to me after he helped me finish my elemental wolf techniques…"

Tsume paled. "You… you finished them?" She asked hesitantly. She had heard her daughter was melding elemental chakra with the clan's wolf techniques, but she thought it would take another 3 years at least in order to get at most one down… and that alone would be among one of the strongest techniques in the clan's archives easily. "H-How many?"

"Three." Hana stated firmly. "My strongest can even put Ghost in a bad position…" The three heard the audience cheer at the start of the next round. The girl stood up and walked to the doorway past her mother. "The invasion is going to start soon, mom… we can finish our discussion later…" The girl walked out into the hallway without looking back, followed by her dogs.

"You know… despite being crazy bastards, the Ōgakari are already pretty high up there in terms of being well respected throughout the village, Tsume…" Anko sighed as she got up and walked to the door. "… but I wasn't stretching the truth at all when I said his last relationship hurt him badly. He still occasionally needs pills to stop getting nightmares, and even then, it doesn't work all the time. Hana checked them herself. I know for a fact that he's gone weeks without sleep out of fear when they start coming again, so don't assume that he's some guiltless frat boy."

Anko almost was out of the room when Tsume spoke up again. "What… what name did he give her?"

The snake mistress smirked as she turned around. "It's one that I think fits her quite well considering her new set of skills. It describes the range of her moves with just the right air of mystery… it's too bad I already have a nickname. I wonder what he would have called me if I didn't have one. I'm actually quite jealous of her…" She started walking down the hallway.

"He named her… Miheimen no Hana (Trans: Hana of the Three Planes)."

o. o. o.

Ghost smirked as he stood in between Tenten and Sakura. To be honest, he had no idea who would win this fight. Sakura had to hold back on some of her more lethal skills, and Scabbard had apparently taken an interest in the panda-headed girl, meaning that she probably had more in her arsenal than she had revealed so far. At this point it was anyone's game. "You girls ready to put on a good show?" Ghost asked curiously.

Sakura and Tenten nodded, not taking their eyes off of each other. Though they didn't know the other that well, the somewhat existing rivalry between their teachers had been passed down between them for this fight, and it was getting their blood pumping.

"Well, all righty then." He chuckled as he turned on his mike. "The Semifinals are already upon us, folks! These lovely ladies need no introductions, so I'll make this quick. Sakura Haruno! Member of Konoha's Team 7 Vs. Tenten Higurashi! Member of Konoha's Team 9! Winner of this fight proceeds to the final round!" The man jumped back and the audience cheered loudly.

"FIGHT!"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Blarg. Damn you, golden week! Damn you, finals! Damn you, Chuck Norris!


	42. By the time this chapter is done with, we will all know if the invasion finally freaking starts…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 42: By the time this chapter is done with, we will all know if the invasion finally freaking starts…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Several minutes before the fight:

"So, my eternal rival! I see that the last of our students have finally clashed blades in the final round!" Gai shouted with excitement. "I have no doubt in my mind that Tenten will come out victorious!"

"Mmm?" Kakashi replied, clearly disinterested in what Gai was saying. "Sorry Gai. I wasn't paying attention. I kept on hearing the term '3 for 3' in my head repeatedly for some strange reason, and it just happened to block out everything else…"

Everyone else in the room either sweatdropped or chuckled lightly as Gai pieced together what Kakashi was saying.

"Wait… 3 for… DAMN YOU AND YOUR HIP ATTITUDE KAKASHI!" Gai roared, finally catching the insult. "Just you watch! Tenten and her youthful new weapons and styles will defeat your student!"

"Oh yeah. That girl was spending a lot of time with Scab during the month… after a certain point, he seemed really interested in teaching her, too…" Shadow mused with a thoughtful expression, still sitting next to the unnerved Mubi. "You guys mentioned about a big sword. That doesn't sound like Scab's normal style, and it isn't normally something to give to a girl her age and size. Can you guys describe it to me?"

Asuma shrugged half-heartedly. "Yeah. It looked like a giant curved cleaver without a guard, with a long cloth wrapped around the handle. There were seals on it that let her shoot chakra slashes when she swung it. She called it Zangetsu or something like that. Weird thing was that she called it a fake and seemed pretty damn proud of it too. Claimed it was the first in a long line of them…" He looked at the woman and was slightly put off by the serious look on her face.

"You… you said she called it a fake? She used that exact word?" Shadow asked carefully, eyeing the man tenaciously.

"Yes, she did… I take it you know something we don't?" Kurenai responded curiously.

Shadow looked down at the arena with a critical eye, seemingly tuning out everyone else staring at her expectantly. "A possible Faker of all things… here? Scab… you are one lucky, lucky, bastard…"

o. o. o.

Hiashi smirked to himself. Despite the impending invasion, he could not help but mentally gloat on how well everything else was going so far. The man could tell that several of the stronger figures in the arena were relocating themselves, most likely to be in a better position for the invasion. He knew that Orochimaru was somewhere in the arena from what Scabbard had reported, but that was to be expected. Scabbard's very brief appearance at the end of Naruto and Sasuke's fight in itself was a decent tactical maneuver, as he noticed many Konoha shinobi in the audience relax somewhat when it happened. Even though no one had a clue what the full potential of the clan was, aside from maybe Naruto and possibly Hinata, the trust and faith they had gained from the village was enough to calm their nerves just by being there. His clan was amongst the more affected obviously because of their first-hand experience with the incredibly cunning family.

But what he liked most of all was how well Naruto appeared to everyone in the village. True, he'd defeated his daughter and acted childishly at the end of the Uchiha's fight, but the boy's creativity and ingenuity with his techniques and style were beyond what anyone had expected. The boy's range of jutsu was staggering, even by jōnin standards, but way he used of all of them was just as profound. He had seen more than one shinobi in the audience writing down notes on the way the children here manipulated their jutsu differently, but most of that happened during Naruto's fights. Not only that, but the way the boy behaved was frighteningly similar to his master. Loose, but always able to move and react with time to spare. Strong and firm, but still able to change a plan or a strategy without a moment's hesitation. He tried to win, but made sure that his opponent would not end up permanently harmed.

However, the most apparent similarity was that he acted. Extremely immature much of the time, but there was an older look in the boy's eyes that was always calculating the next move and paying attention to his current situation. It enabled him to manipulate what other people saw of him despite showing them his prowess in battle and keep them still guessing. His forfeit at the hands of the Uchiha was proof of that.

Maybe it wouldn't be so difficult when he announced the arrangement between the blonde and Hinata after all…

o. o. o.

"Care to explain to me what the hell you're thinking?" Sasuke growled as he and Naruto were walking up the stairs.

"Ummm, I'm fearful for the children that you and Sakura spawn that you two don't manage to eat a week after birth?" Naruto replied curiously.

Several glowing kunai flew past Naruto's head and embedded into the wall next to him. "Try again, dobe…" The Uchiha growled with his eyes active, telling him that his friend was in no mood for games at the moment.

The blonde sighed. Obviously, he couldn't play stupid with Sasuke about the upcoming events anymore. "You know that something is up today, right?"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. It has something to do with Orochimaru being here and giving me that stupid seal. What does that have to do with you giving up?"

The jinchūriki smirked. "Simple. I'm buying the village time to prepare some more."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Time? I don't like where this is going, dobe. Why would you giving up buy the village time…?" He paused as he thought about it some more. "Wait… it's not about you giving up… it's about me going on… isn't it?"

"That's part of the reason." Naruto shrugged. "In all reality, shit could have easily hit the fan anytime during our match, but it didn't." He smirked. "The pedophile seems to like you very much, so for now, as long as we keep on showing him more of what he wants, the more time we get to prepare and counter his attack…" He stretched. "It also gives me more time to recover a bit. I actually have a big part to play today, and I need to recover chakra till then. Ugh… I swear, using that move takes so much out of me…"

"Hey… does anybody else know of what's happening?" The Uchiha asked in a somewhat concerned and distracted tone.

"Oh?" Naruto turned around and grinned. "Is little Sasuke actually worried about everyone else?" His grin widened. "Or are you just worried about Sakura?"

Sasuke blushed very faintly. "Shut it. You know what I mean. Things will be easier if I know who's prepared and who isn't. I can't help everyone and be everywhere like you can, dobe. I can only make about 7 fighting clones max, and if I do my reserves are shot. Plus, I have some fairly chakra heavy techniques that would drain the clones too quickly if things are as bad as I think… and I would like to keep my seal secret for as long as possible…"

 _'How long has it been since I heard something like that come from your mouth, Sasuke?'_ Naruto mused in a very relieved tone. "Don't worry, teme. Most of us already know something's up. Hinata-chan, Sakura, Shino, and Shikamaru know pretty much everything that's happening today aside from me, and Neji knows enough to take charge of his team when it does happen…" The pair heard the audience cheer for the new match. "Anyways, in the meantime, let's just watch Sakura's match and relax. I have to heal a bit and you have to prepare for your next fight…" Naruto paused and turned to his unsettled teammate. "… one thing, though. Gaara's on our side… so don't use any… drastic techniques on him. Okay?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto in a confused manner before understanding what the blonde was saying and frowning. "… wait… you mean that you knew that Kakashi taught me…"

The blonde shrugged in a carefree way before turning around again and walking. "Meh. I had a decent feeling that he was going to teach you that, especially after you used all that electric chakra streaming against me." He yawned. "But in all seriousness though, don't use it… you'll need it later."

Sasuke nodded slowly as he stared at Naruto's back. Things were going to be more chaotic than he first thought, and he definitely didn't like it. … but what he liked even less was that he wouldn't be able to use Chidori against Gaara… and that he had already shown the only other technique that would be effective against the sand…

o. o. o.

Despite the fact that neither Tenten nor Sakura were in possession of obscenely devastating ninjutsu (Sakura's enhanced strength was a result of extremely precise chakra control, nothing else), the fight between them was none the less intense.

The moment the fight started, Tenten was on the offensive. She may not have trained in particular to fight against Sakura during her month break, but she had an extra year of training with Gai before the pink haired girl became a genin. Gai was an odd man, but he knew his trade well enough to know to teach his students tactics against fighting other kinds of specialists. Genjutsu users in particular took over two weeks for the man to cover with his team, even though a good portion of it was brainstorming on making tactics for Lee in general due to his limitations. The boy could pulse his chakra somewhat, but after a certain point, he just couldn't break out of illusions no matter how hard he trained.

Thus 'Gai's youthful taijutsu tactics against genjutsu' or GYTTAG was born. Many of the suggestions were completely ridiculous and only resulted in equally odd training methods that didn't work that well, but there were a couple that were applicable to the standard shinobi.

The one she was using right now was simple and basic, but one of the more effective techniques available to her. If a genjutsu user is in front of you, and they haven't formed seals yet, attack them with whatever the hell you have to make sure they don't have time to make said seals… and for god's sake, keep them in your line of sight. Tenten was confident in her taijutsu and weapon skills, but after watching the girl's fight with Ino, she decided it would be safer to keep her distance, where her advantage was stronger.

This leaves Sakura at the moment replaying a part from her previous fight with Ino, dodging flying weapons with practiced focus and using a kunai in both hands to block the ones she couldn't dodge. Tenten didn't use her exploding kunai yet because she wanted to keep Sakura in her line of sight, and the debris and flashes from the explosion would get in the way.

 _'Damn it!'_ Sakura mentally swore as she dodged some more kunai and barely blocked one that would have impaled her chest. ' _Tenten's too good! I can't find any openings to free any of my hands and get a smoke bomb or an exploding tag! Maybe if I had another month to condition my body, I might be able to give myself a few seconds to make an illusion, but right now I'm too slow to do anything but dodge and block! She isn't even using any exploding kunai that I could use as a smoke screen!'_ The pink haired girl frowned and wove through some more metal objects before deflecting the last few. ' _The pattern of her attacks is constantly changing… I can't let my guard down for a second. I have to wait until she switches scrolls… god, this is going to be a long fight…'_

Soon enough, the scroll that Tenten was using ran out of ammo, causing both girls to move quickly. Tenten realized that throwing kunai at Sakura wasn't going to win her the fight. It would tire the girl a bit, but she was wasting her ammunition and would not have much left for the last fight at this rate. Unraveling another scroll, the weapons mistress took out a pair of tonfa and rushed her opponent, who was already in the middle of her seals. The weapon mistress had to admit as she was rushing to her opponent; the girl was incredibly fast at making seals even while running. Sure enough, Sakura's hands held onto the final seal of her technique much sooner than Tenten would have liked, resulting in the pink haired girl disappearing in thin air.

"Shit…" Tenten growled as she molded her chakra and pulsed it out strongly. "Kai!" She shouted. The girl couldn't tell what was happening, but she did catch a faint waver in the air near the trees where many of her opponent's fights had led to. Tenten smirked. She had seen this move done several times already, and she had prepared in turn as she looked at the kunai that were near the edge of the trees. She had set them there during her relentless assault earlier in the fight. "Not a bad move, Sakura… but you should really try something new this time!" Tenten shouted as she triggered the exploding kunai, causing them to blow up and launch a materialized Sakura into the air… where she disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"You mean like this…?" A dark and confident voice questioned from behind the surprised girl. All the extreme training and conditioning done with her team saved the elder girl as she instinctively dodged and maneuvered around the slashing kunai from behind her, cutting deep into her cheek and side. She jumped back from the real Sakura, who had a kunai in each hand and was grinning confidently. "I had a feeling that you noticed that I retreated into the woods in my fights, Tenten. You are, after all, one of the more intelligent and observant of our group…"

Tenten winced as the pain in her side started to register to her. "… That clone was just a setup since you knew that I would look at the trees the moment you disappeared… but how did you know that I set up a trap…?"

Sakura smirked. "The same reason why my forehead is so big and why I'm so good at medic techniques. I have a photographic memory. All it took was a quick look at those kunai for me to see that they were rigged. Engraving the seals on them is pretty clever, but next time you might want to hide them in case you go up against someone with good eyes or a sharp mind…" She threw the kunai at Tenten to distract the girl before making some more seals. "That wound makes things easier for me… but just in case…" Tenten frantically blocked the kunai with her tonfa before dropping them to try and get a scroll. She probably would have easily been able to make it in time if she had just dodged the kunai in the first place, but with the cut to her side she couldn't risk it. As she was now though… "Demonic Art: Great Distortion!" Sakura yelled as she finished her final seal just as Tenten began to unravel her scroll.

Tenten's world twisted on itself as all of her senses were bent over. Her vision was so twisted that Gai's fashion sense would feel at home, her nose was flooded with strong and obscure smells, her ears couldn't make out anything coherent, and her skin was crawling so much she doubted she could remain standing for much longer. "Fuck!" She swore, or at least tried to as she attempted to cancel out the technique desperately. Once, Twice… she could have sworn that she had attempted to release herself over half a dozen times… but the illusion never seemed to loosen its hold of the girl.

Not good. If she couldn't break out of the illusion soon, then she would easily loose. Knowing there was only one other option left to her at the moment, the panda-headed girl bit hard on her lip without hesitation, drawing blood, but also breaking out of the illusion very quickly… only to show Sakura rushing to her with a fist cocked back, far too close and fast for the girl to dodge in time. Tenten's face scrunched up in rage as she cocked back her arm as well. "Don't underestimate me! I've been fighting Lee and Neji a year before you even graduated!" The two lunged at each other at the same time. "Even injured my taijutsu is still better than…!" Sakura's fist plunged itself deep inside Tenten's stomach, while Tenten's fist struck nothing but air where she thought Sakura was supposed to be instead of where she was a half a second before. "… How?"

The girl's green eyes never blinked as her fist continued forward. "I layered my genjutsu on you. I put a delayed reaction illusion over my distortion illusion without you knowing before charging you. While you managed to break your way out of the first genjutsu, the second stayed, giving me the opening I needed." She smirked. "I did it because you are right in what you said, Tenten. Your taijutsu is probably better than mine, even in your current condition… but even so, I can still do enough damage to win if given a single decent opening. I probably should thank Naruto for that bit of advice… probably…"

"… d-damn…" Tenten gasped as she slowly collapsed to the ground. "… I got… too… careless…"

"Heh…" Ghost smirked as he walked to the pair. "You keep on going like this, Sakura, and I think Shika might have some trouble holding onto his top strategist position in your age group."

"Bite me." Sakura growled as she collapsed onto the ground. Layering genjutsu normally didn't take that much out of her, but it was a different story when she used great distortion as one of the components. That illusion by itself was very taxing, let alone combined with another.

The blind man shrugged passively, prompting Zuzushi to jump off him and fly lazily to a seemingly random part of the upper Arena. "Sorry. I save that stuff for Anko and Hana only. Wait a couple of years and we'll see what happens." He turned on his mic. "Winner by KO! Sakura Haruno!"

o. o. o.

"NOOO!" Gai roared as he realized that all of his students failed to beat any of Kakashi's. "DAMN YOU KAKASHI AND YOUR HIP ATTITUDE AND YOUR UNYOUTHFUL BOOKS AND YOUR MEDDLESOME YOUTHFUL STUDENTS AND YOUR PESKY DOGS AND YOUR FLYING MACHINES AND YOUR…!"

"You know… I've noticed that Sakura has a lot of genjutsu under her belt…" Asuma mused curiously before turning to Kurenai, clearly trying to ignore Gai's panic attack. "Don't you think you're rushing things a bit with her? I mean, even if she is good with genjutsu, shouldn't you make sure that she's learning them at a steady pace so that she can use each to their fullest?"

Kurenai frowned. "Don't look at me, Asuma. I only taught her a few low ranked illusions, Demonic Illusion: False Surroundings, and Demonic Illusion: Great Distortion, as well as the basics to layering techniques. Most of those I did with the other genin. It's not my fault that most of the boys and some of the girls fell asleep during my lectures or never continued with my training. I never taught her illusions that augmented and decremented people's reaction times… and I'm damn sure I never taught her the Illusion Eye technique…"

"Ah…" Kakashi chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his head. "I might have something to do with that. Sakura came to me one day and asked me for advice on illusions that could improve a person's performance in battle, since she read that there were some illusions like that and she didn't want to bug you about it, Kurenai. She said she felt pretty down since she was the only person in her team that didn't have any special powers or abilities and didn't want to hold Naruto or Sasuke back…" The man eye smiled sheepishly. "I may have given her a book on the subject that I had from my ANBU days since I thought she was just researching. I didn't think she would actually try to learn any of those techniques. Heheheh…"

"Kakashi! How irresponsible can you be?" Kurenai roared. "Sakura is still a genin! She could have hurt herself badly or worse if something went wrong! What if she attempted to do a technique that was beyond her abilities and…!"

"For god's sake, Kurenai, shut up!" Shadow moaned as she stuck out her arm so Zuzushi could land on it, unsettling Mubi. "You would think the girl knows better by now from babysitting Naruto and Sasuke all the damn time." The young woman gave the illusion mistress a bored look. "You taught her enough about illusions to put most jōnin to shame, and while Ghost may have been a bit loose with his training at times, I'm sure he's taught the kids the difference between a reasonable gamble and doing something completely stupid. Trust them to be able to make decisions by themselves once in a while." Kurenai blinked in surprised before making a tisk sound and looking away angrily. "You might be surprised what they will do. Even spontaneous morons like Crypt or Kiba do smart things on occasion."

"Yeah! … HEY! WHY THE HELL DID YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT PSYCHO?" Kiba roared defiantly.

Shadow shrugged halfheartedly. "Meh. You're just too easy. You're going to have to do something about that if you want anyone to take you seriously…" Zuzushi nodded sagely in agreement before her body turned completely black and molded itself into Shadow's body.

Asuma blinked in surprise. "Well then… that was new…"

Shadow raised an eyebrow. "Hn? Oh, you mean Zuzushi. Yeah, like I said before, she's actually sealed inside me. That body she used before is just a temp with a tiny amount of her power." She made a pinching gesture with her index finger and thumb. "That much. Occasionally she needs a bit of a recharge or a change in body size in case something's up…" She blinked absently as if she was just reminded of something. "Speaking of something up, my bladder's pushing down…" She flipped backwards over her seat and started walking towards the exit in a single clean move. "I'm off to once again make a mockery of the porcelain gods. Wish me luck!"

Asuma sighed as he puffed on another cigarette. He had been cutting back, but he still went through a fair number of the sticks per day. "Ugh. I don't know what's going to kill us first. Enemy ninja or trying to understand that damn clan…"

The other elder shinobi in the room simply nodded briefly. Not one of them had missed the small message that Shadow had mentioned when she had absorbed Zuzushi…

o. o. o.

"Heh. I gotta admit, Ino, I didn't think you planned this far ahead for us, considering you had a mental breakdown a few minutes ago…" Naruto chuckled as he took the pouch that the blonde haired girl handed him. The boy was literally steaming as he ran some of the Kyūbi's chakra through his system to heal his wounds and restore his chakra reserves. Most of the small scratches had already disappeared, and only a few of the deeper ones with lingering chakra remained.

"Says the moron that tried to kill the proctor in front of the entire arena." Ino shot back with a smirk of her own before frowning. "I'm guessing you also knew something is supposed to happen today? Shino seemed to know that something was up as well…"

Naruto's eyes sharpened. "Yeah, and to be honest, it's probably going to freak us all out as badly as when Ero-nii trained us to fight under high levels of killing intent by the end of the day…" Ino shivered. She had not taken that specific training well, and it took her a long time to get comfortable around Ghost after that experience. Naruto sighed and put a hand on Ino's shoulder. "Shika probably told you this already, but I'm going to tell you again anyway. When shit hits the fan, stick with Chōji and stay in large groups. Shinobi with Sound headbands are the enemy, and no one else is unless they attack you or other Konoha ninja. Until ordered otherwise, you guys are to protect the civilians and escort them to the safety bunkers. Keep your eyes open, and don't do anything Ero-nii or I would do. You don't have a healing factor or a long history of getting maimed. If things look as if they are too much for you or your group, get help right away; don't try to play the hero. Got it?"

Ino hesitantly nodded, not used to Naruto being so serious and in control of the situation. "R-right." She looked around and saw the Suna-nin looking down at the arena grounds. Gaara started to walk to the exit. "What about them? Are they in on it? Are you going to be helping the civilians as well?" She whispered curiously.

Naruto shook his head and smirked. "The Suna-nin were until a few days ago our enemy as well… but let's just say Scab-sensei's spy system is very… deep in the Land of Wind, so now they're on our side… so stick with them. Especially Gaara's team." Ino's eyes widened in shock. "As for me… well, I'm going to make a bunch of clones to help everyone out… but I actually have a big job to do…" His eyes flashed hungrily, unnerving the girl. "Ero-nii's family has called me the Feral Gale… and even though few people will know it, my call will be known by the end of the day…" He blinked momentarily. "… ah… but can you please not tell anyone it was actually me? Please? It's kind of a big secret that could actually get me killed if I'm not careful right now…"

The Yamanaka deadpanned. Seriously, she could never get a decent reading on her fellow blonde after he started training with the Ōgakari. The boy constantly switched emotions, and half the things he said were just as confusing despite his childish demeanor. She sighed. "Sure. But it depends on how juicy the info is. If it's too good, I might have to ask for compensation…"

"I'll convince Ero-nii to not strip you and hang you upside-down on a flagpole in the middle of town in revenge for that stunt you pulled in the middle of your hysteria." Naruto stated bluntly.

"Deal." Ino responded immediately, sweating heavily through every pore on her body in fear as she remembered whose wrath she had invoked just an hour earlier.

"Hey guys. You talk about everything yet?" Chōji asked as he walked towards the pair before staring at the jinchūriki. "Hey, uh, Naruto… you're kinda steaming at the moment…"

"Healing factor." Naruto answered bluntly. "Chōji, how are you holding up?"

The thick boy shrugged before stretching his neck and shoulder muscles. "I'm doing pretty good. I have most of my chakra restored, and I went wild at the snack bar after Ino's fight. As for wounds… well, I didn't have many aside from a few bruises from when I hit the ground, and Hana-sensei took care of those fairly quickly."

Naruto nodded. "Good… do you have any pills on you?"

The Akimichi nodded before dropping his voice and hesitantly replying. "Yeah, I have enough pills for everyone in our group twice over… just like Shikamaru told me to…"

Naruto's eyes narrowed. "That's good… but are those the only pills you brought, Chōji?"

Chōji started to sweat as Ino looked at him curiously. "What is he talking about, Chōji? What other pills can you have in this kind of situation?"

"Ero-nii told me that your clan had been working with Scab-sensei on the three colored pills." Naruto said bluntly with a serious look on his face. "I know what they can do, Chōji, but I also know that the watered down versions were finished a bit before the Exams first started. Judging from your reactions, I can tell you have the pills on you, but I don't know which ones. Tell me, are they the originals or the new versions?"

"Three color pills?" Ino mused to herself curiously. "Aren't they those super soldier pills that belong to your family, Chōji? I'm pretty sure that they can boost your strength a lot. Why would you want weaker versions…?"

"Because the originals can kill you." Chōji said bluntly before looking at Naruto and taking out a container with three large, pale colored pills. "Thanks for the concern, Naruto, but dad gave me the newer versions before the Exams even started just in case. I've been holding onto them since the first test, so there's nothing to worry about there…"

The blonde nodded. "Good. Old man Waltz is going to have his hands tied during this cluster fuck, and Hana-sensei still isn't good enough to treat poisoning from those food pills yet. If you had used all of the originals, you would have died…"

Chōji nodded, trying to ignore the shocked look Ino was giving them. "Thanks for the concern, Naruto, but I don't think I'll need any of the pills to protect the civilians…" He paused. "I don't like that Ghost-sensei told you about one of my clan's secrets, though…"

Naruto shrugged. "Hey, Ero-nii thought it was a good idea to tell me in case you needed to actually use them in a fight. It's kind of hard to explain these kinds of things when you're half-dead, you know? Besides, Shikamaru already knows this stuff because his clan gives your clan the ingredients to make the things, and I'm pretty sure most of the jōnin and special jōnin in the village know of them as well, so it's not exactly THAT much of a secret."

"Hold on." Ino said angrily as she turned to Chōji. "You have had pills on you that could KILL you the entire time, and you didn't tell us?"

Chōji shook his head. "No, I told Shika since he already knew about them, but I didn't tell you because I didn't want to worry you. You were freaking out so badly when you saw that we were going into the Forest of Death that I decided not to worry you more. By the time the second round was over, I kinda just… forgot they were there, since the Exams were easier than we thought…"

Ino frowned as she understood that Chōji was looking out for her. "We'll talk about this later, Chōji." She turned back to Naruto. "So if your all-knowing ass isn't going to be here, who should we listen to, oh wise one?"

Naruto smirked as he took out two radio receivers from his pocket and gave one to each of them. "Shika's on the other side giving everyone in Konoha instructions. He'll tell you where to go and what to do. As for group decisions, Hinata-chan, Sakura, and Sasuke are the ones in charge when I'm gone, then Neji and Shino. I'm going to have clones all over the place, so if you need my help or info on something, just ask one of them and you should get your answer in a few seconds. You got that?"

Chōji and Ino nodded without question. Naruto was serious, and it was starting to unnerve the two considerably.

Naruto smirked. "Don't worry. As long as you keep your eyes open, stay in groups, and don't do anything too stupid, you should be just fine…"

o. o. o.

Kabuto frowned as he watched Gaara and Sasuke walk onto the arena grounds. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. The ANBU, the Ōgakari, the disappearance of many clan members recently, the power of the chūnin participants. Something was off, and it even became more apparent when Naruto… forfeited…

The spy swore. The boy wasn't giving up, he was buying time! Konoha knew that Orochimaru was after Sasuke and if they did find out about the invasion, it wouldn't take much to guess that there would be more forces in and around the arena! If they knew that Orochimaru was here, then they probably counted on the man's interest in Sasuke to stall the invasion and position their troops! The looks on the clan member's faces when they left were also extremely unsettling, to say the least. There was no way all of those shinobi had to go to the bathroom so badly that they were frowning.

He looked down at the proctor. He wouldn't be surprised if the Ōgakari had found out that Orochimaru had sent specialized shinobi after them… after all, four of them had made themselves know to the audience at one point or another. Ghost as the proctor, Scabbard during that video incident, the dragon flew to Shadow's arm just recently, and Crypt when he fixed the fighting area. It was all too much of a coincidence… which meant that there was a good chance that Orochimaru's disguise and position were already long since compromised… come to think of it, the Exams had been going on much longer than expected not only because of the way the rosters were set up and the damage caused by the fights, but also because the Ōgakari had been goofing off in front of everyone…

Weighing his odds, Kabuto decided to forgo his master's orders to wait for a signal. The Sannin's desire to see his new body in action was not worth allowing Konoha to get more troops into position…

o. o. o.

While Naruto was busy healing himself, Gaara and Sasuke were staring each other down, and Ghost was planning his first few moves in the invasion. ' _Hmmm. So if they throw a giant shuriken… I'll do that… and if they attack me directly, I'll punch one in the face in a cool way. Yeah… that will totally work. Awesome…'_

Gaara looked at the giggling Ghost with what resembled curiosity. "Should we do something about this?"

Sasuke sighed. "Yeah. We probably should. I've seen him act like this for two hours straight once. Just pelt him with one of those sand bullet things of yours. I only have kunai and shuriken on me…"

Gaara blinked and stared at Sasuke for a moment before slowly nodding and shooting the cork of his gourd at Ghost, which proceeded to smash into the man's face and knock him over and causing the audience to laugh heavily. To be honest, Gaara wanted to have a rematch with Sasuke that didn't involve the world's fate on the line. Aside from Naruto, and Lee, Sasuke was one of the only people around his age that could give him a run for his money in a straight up fight. It was somewhat comforting to know that he wasn't the only person around his age that had this kind of power behind him and could still have somewhat a normal life. The stronger they got, the more evidence he had that there was a chance that he could have some normalcy in his life amongst the chaos that was going to happen soon. It was… comforting, in a way.

He of course, would never admit it aloud.

"The hell was that for?" The man roared as he rubbed his forehead which, now had a giant red spot in the middle.

"You were daydreaming again, Ghost." Sasuke said in a tired tone. Gaara nodded quietly in agreement.

"I was?" Ghost chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "Um… oops? Sorry about that…." He looked around and shrugged. "I guess I'll just start your match then…" He turned on his mike. "Sorry about the wait, my friends, but we're almost done with the Exams! Right now, we have the last fight before the finals!" The audience cheered. "To my left, we have the fire and lightning wielding Sasuke Uchiha!" More cheers. "And to my right is the cold and fearsome sand wielding Gaara of the Desert!" Some more cheers, but not as many as before. "Who will win this epic battle? I don't know, and I don't care, 'cause either way, this fight is going to be sweet!" Ghost turned around to face the boys and jumped back towards the audience. "Gaara vs. Sasuke! Fi-!"

Ghost's start of the match was suddenly stopped as feathers began to fall from the sky in front of everyone's eyes. ' _So Kabuto figured it out, eh?'_ The man mused in an amused tone. ' _Not bad, rat… too bad it's too late to make much of a difference…'_

o. o. o.

Gai frowned as he clapped his hands together. "Kakashi!"

The scarecrow nodded as he and the rest of the jōnin in the room, as well as Kankurō and Kiba, noticed the illusion starting and focused their chakra. "Right. Kai!"

"So it's finally beginning, huh?" Kankurō mused as he readied his puppet, Crow.

"What the hell is going on?" Roared Kiba as he undid the illusion on Akamaru.

"An invasion." Kurenai said bluntly as she looked around the audience. The entirety of the civilian population had come under the sway of the illusion, but almost all of the chūnin and above ranked shinobi had instantly released themselves of the illusion, since they had been informed beforehand that a genjutsu was going to be used to take out everyone in the arena. She saw that the shinobi from Taki and Kusa had all also released themselves without much issue and were already gathering with the Konoha shinobi. "Kiba, stay with us until we get to your teammates. Got it? Kankurō, I want you to stick to the shadows and follow us. Do not do anything until you know for a fact that it is common knowledge that Suna is on Konoha's side, otherwise your fellow shinobi might lose their element of surprise."

The boys nodded. "Got it." They replied at once.

"Hah! I have another challenge for you, Kakashi!" Gai said in a confident voice as he stood on the edge of the box.

"Most kills?" The silver haired man asked in a bored tone as he put his book into his pouch.

"Of course!" The mushroom-headed man replied.

Kakashi shrugged as he jumped out the box. "Why not?"

Asuma sighed as he took out his trench knuckles. "And I was finally winning some money, too…"

o. o. o.

Crypt grinned from his perch sadistically as the enemy shinobi ditched their disguises and jump out into the open. Whipping his head around so that his scythe was comfortably in his mouth, the man grinned and leaned to the side so he fell off of the rafters.

"Itadakimasu…"

o. o. o.

In the Kage's box, everyone present noticed the large illusion coming into effect and knocking out the masses. Slowly, but at the same time, Sarutobi and the Kazekage turned to look at each other with calculating eyes, while Ōnoki turned to look at both of them. Instantly, the two guards of the Kazekage rushed forward. "Shall we?" The disguised man asked as one of the guards released a smoke bomb that flooded the entire room.

"What the hell?" Ōnoki roared as Rōshi and Kurotsuchi ran up to protect their elderly leader.

"It looks like an invasion!" Rōshi yelled back as he grabbed Ōnoki and jumped out of the box, followed by Kurotsuchi.

"Who do we fight, Tsuchikage-sama?" The anxious woman asked, hoping it was Konoha so she would have a chance to kill the potential Namikaze.

"No one!" Ōnoki couched as they landed on a nearby building. "Until we find out exactly what the bloody hell is going on, you two will stay by me and avoid any fighting if you can help it! There's only three of us, and lord knows how many shinobi on either side…" The man stopped as he saw the Kazekage's men jump out of the cloud, only to be slashed in half by the ANBU rushing in to save the Hokage. "Trust me, I'm just as clueless as either of you right now…" He didn't notice the small flinch on Rōshi's face as he said this.

The three watched as the Kazekage emerged from the cloud with the Hokage as a hostage and landed on the roof of the building. Before the ANBU could move onward though, four bodies dashed out of the halves of the Kazekage's servants and landed on the corners of the building before instantly setting up a massive purple barrier around the two men. In the distance, the three could see the wall of Konoha break down at one point to the might of two large snake summons.

"Things don't look to good for this village, do they?" Kurotsuchi mused out loud.

Ōnoki frowned as he looked around him. "… no… just the opposite." He pointed to the arena. "Look how many shinobi are still awake in the arena… there are a lot from Kusa and Taki up and about, too. And none of them look particularly worried or shocked… they were expecting this." He looked again at the two snakes, and was not surprised to see that there were already significantly large battles happening in the area, complete with explosions and fireballs. "They knew where the summons were coming from, too."

Rōshi nodded as he noticed the fights starting. "So what should we do? You're the one calling the shots for now…"

Ōnoki sighed. "We stay still and watch. Depending on how things turn out. we may have to escape, so keep your eyes on what's happening so we have a decent exit route…" He looked back at the purple box encasing the two Kage. "I hope you know what you're doing, Saru…"

o. o. o.

Sasuke could only stare in shock as he watched the chaos unravel around him. He knew something was up, but this was way beyond anything he was expecting, and to be honest, it was unusually unsettling.

"Hey, you Oto assholes!" Ghost childishly shouted in a French accent at the crowd, completely unfazed by the turn of events. "Come and get me, you cow skin wearing pussies! I bet you guys are complete weaklings! I blow my nose in your general direction!"

From various angles, weapons, kunai, and shuriken flew from the audience area like rain at the unconcerned man. The man laughed and shrugged half-heartedly as the flying pieces of metal converged on him… only to turn at the last moment and miss him with room to spare. The only weapon that didn't seem to move was a large fūma shuriken, which the man casually caught by the central hole with a single hand and kept it spinning. "Aww. You guys shouldn't have." The man swooned femininely. "But I don't need such a gift, so I'll give it back to you…"

He smirked as he held his arm out behind him, and the spinning metal rapidly increased its rotation to insane speeds with a flick of his wrist. Sasuke could also see that the blades were shimmering with a blue light, so he assumed that the man was augmenting the blade with wind chakra at the same time. He flung the spinning blade at the audience. The path of the projectile arched upward as it traveled up the stands, cutting through at least half a dozen Oto shinobi before piercing the roof, bisecting another Oto-nin from the bottom up and disappearing into the sky.

Sasuke gaped as he saw Ghost chuckle and make a few seals before the man continued to taunt the enemy. Even when his home was in danger and the enemy's numbers were unknown, the man continued to act like a child and carelessly aggravate countless enemies. "What… what the hell is going on? No… more importantly… What the HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" He roared angrily.

"Hold that question for a sec and back up a few feet." Ghost said in a casual tone, waving the boy away without looking before turning his mic on again. "Come on, you bitches! Are you afraid to get close to me? I bet the reason why you guys are called the Sound is because you're all bark and no bite! You can't even shut me up! Hah! Pathetic! Come on! I'm right here in the arena and you have me surrounded! I should have known better than to expect something decent from pussies that do nothing but pick rice all day long! (Remember, Otogakure is in the Land of Rice Paddies). What's that job to you guys? Probably a B-ranked mission, considering you're all bent over so much! On second thought, though, I bet it's great for practice for when Orochimaru BUTT FUCKS ALL OF YOU!"

That insult got the desired effect, as at least a dozen Oto shinobi jumped down from the audience and raced towards the man in a blind rage, determined to silence the loudmouthed man once and for all. Ghost chuckled and started to pick his nose carelessly. "Hey look." He said casually as he pointed behind the group with his other hand. "A distraction."

"Enough with your pathetic talking, you coward!" Yelled one of the men as the group closed in on Ghost with their various weapons drawn. "We're not going to fall for that old trick. Now die!"

Before any of them had even made it within 5 meters of Ghost, hell fell upon the group of shinobi in the form of dozens upon dozens of wind enhanced, rapidly spinning fūma shuriken diving from the sky, butchering all of the would-be assailants in front of the yawning man and surprising almost everyone watching the spectacle. "Huh." Ghost seemingly blinked as he looked at his pointing hand. "Oh. Whoops, sorry." He pointed up. "I was supposed to point THAT way. Hahahaaa. Wow, I gotta stop doing that…"

Sasuke gaped at Ghost. "Wh-What? How? When?"

The blind man shrugged as he started to list things off with his fingers. "Wind enhancement, plus wind manipulation, plus epic spinning skills, plus Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique, plus easy to piss off opponents, plus my pure awesomeness, equals epic win. Any questions?"

Gaara nodded slowly. ' _He used the Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique on that shuriken he threw earlier, then he used his wind manipulation to position them and keep them in the air until the right time without anyone noticing while he provoked the enemy, then he fired the shuriken at them when their attention was focused around them instead of above them… very clever.'_ "Your logic makes sense… though your math still needs work…" He mused.

Ghost pouted, ignoring the kunai that were flying everywhere and missing all of them. "Hey, Scab is the smart one, not me. Still, if my math's right, I think that brought my kill count to 20." He sighed as he stretched his limbs and looked at the purple box on the building, where it seemed as if the two Kage were talking. "Well, I've stalled enough. Everyone's in place… so I guess it's time to start the counter attack…" He turned to the stunned Uchiha. "Hey Sasuke, steady yourself. It's the killing intent training all over again…"

Sasuke blinked momentarily as he registered what Ghost was saying before his eyes widened even more and he ran away from the man desperately, Gaara following him as he knew it was safer for the both of them to stay together in this situation. Just as he reached the other edge of the arena, it happened. His body's sense of feeling was reduced to just the sound of his heartbeat before it felt as if the floor gave way beneath him. He could hear Gaara's footsteps stop a short way behind him before he turned around slowly and activated his Sharingan…

The air was alive with black chakra, buzzing around angrily like the world's largest Aburame hive. No matter how far he looked, there was energy there, much farther than what he had seen Naruto accomplish during his training. Over the stands… over the arena… he had a good feeling that it was over the entire village, judging from how unpredictable the man could be at times. All of the energy, and the man were vibrating at the exact same frequency… yet Sasuke could still stand, could still breathe and move. It was all thanks to that training they had done soon after they had become teams…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

Ghost stood in front of the rest of the genin and teachers lazily and scratched his ass without a care in the world. "So yeah. Even though it's a bit early, I think it's time you guys got used to what's known as killing intent…"

"You have to be joking." Kurenai said disbelievingly. "Why do we have to teach them about killing intent now? Odds are it will be years before they encounter a person strong enough to generate an actually dangerous KI."

The long-haired man shrugged. "Hey, considering who's in this batch, those particular odds aren't exactly accurate, Kurenai. Besides, I'm not going to teach them how to generate the stuff, I'm only going to get them used to a fair dose of it. It will help with their training and resolve."

"Um, Sensei?" Chōji raised his hand. "What's killing intent?"

Kakashi stepped forward as he continued to read his book. "Killing intent is something more experienced shinobi can make to express their desire to kill, Chōji. If it's strong enough, you can theoretically knock out or paralyze a weaker person with it alone, or at the very least unnerve them enough to perform less efficiently. You could say it is a way that shows how strong your resolve and self-control is."

"If this thing is so advanced, why do you want to get us used to it so early, Ghost-sensei?" Kiba asked curiously.

Ghost smiled. "I'm glad you asked. You see, the way I have organized things, this lesson will prepare you for any unexpected high level opponents that you could encounter later on in the future. Also, if you guys complete this training, your self-control and inner strength will theoretically become much stronger as well, which will in turn increase your chakra reserves."

"Mmm." Asuma mused as he puffed on a cigarette. "That makes sense… but that still doesn't explain why the rest of the teachers are on this side as well…"

Ghost smiled, which unnerved everyone there. "Oh, that's easy. You guys are going to do the same training too!"

"Come again?" Anko asked bluntly as Ghost walked away and leaned against a tree on the other side of the field.

"It's really easy!" Ghost called out to the sweat dropping group. Their disbelief suddenly was washed away as a horrifying and immense falling feeling overcame all of them. Ino, Sakura, and Chōji all passed out within seconds and many others had collapsed to their knees, desperately trying to breathe. The ones that were still aware of their surroundings all looked at the smiling man, who yawned without a care in the world. "All you have to do is walk across the field and pass this tree!"

It was then that Sasuke would admit that he would start to believe some of the things Naruto said about the man.

It took the Uchiha almost a week to make it to the other side of the field without collapsing onto the ground. Hell, even the teachers had trouble with the training for the first few days. Surprisingly enough, Naruto managed to finish the training before Kurenai and Hana, but considering what the boy had to deal with for his entire life, the Uchiha wasn't really surprised at the moment.

Even after everyone had managed to get across the field, Ghost had continued to use his killing intent as a training tool for them. They all started to do standard training exercises with that constant falling feeling on them; pushups, sit-ups, running, lessons, spars, everything. Sasuke could confidently say that it was one of the scariest times in his life… but it was also the most rewarding as well. When he practicing by himself, he could tell that his moves were becoming more solid, his chakra reserves were getting larger, his hands were becoming more steady and controlled, and he could think clearer. He could see the results in the others as well, if not in their movements, then in their eyes. Childish hesitation was replaced with focus and determination. The Uchiha could tell. This man could help him become as strong as his brother…

o. o. o.

Despite the massive Presence around him, Sasuke found that it wasn't that difficult for him to move around. Looking around at the audience, he saw that even though many people on both sides were stuck in place, his teachers were still moving around just fine and taking out as many distracted shinobi as possible. Comparing the events in his head, the boy came to the conclusion that since Ghost wasn't focusing his intent on him in particular, the effects of the intent were watered down a bit… though it seemed to be more than enough to paralyze many of the shinobi present, regardless.

"What… what the hell are you doing?" Sasuke yelled, managing to find his voice again.

"I'm giving everyone in Konoha the signal for the counterattack!" Ghost replied with a grin, revealing slightly longer canines. "It's time these morons learned one of the fundamental rules of traveling in hidden forests! Never fuck with the trees in charge, or else the entire forest… and all the monsters in it will come after you!" The Presence doubled on itself as Ghost hunched over.

With his eyes active, Sasuke saw a second body of faint black energy enveloping the man in the shape of a dragon, its wings stripped bare and its spines as sharp as its teeth, its two long and thin tails with oddly sharp, blade-like ends whipping around wildly… and its eyes the same as the man it was possessing. The boy doubted anyone else could see the image as well as he could, aside from maybe the Hyūga, but regardless he knew that the power of his obscenely crazy, laid back, and childish teacher was more ancient and potent than he could ever imagine.

And then Ghost roared to the heavens. A harmony of a human-like voice and an inhuman beast's call fused together to make seemingly the perfect war cry. A shockwave pulsed outward with the man in the center, knocking Gaara and Sasuke off their feet momentarily before they somehow managed to land again. The sound permeated the sky, reverberating with the laced air to increase its range, making it known to all in Konoha and several miles away from its giant walls, signaling to all of Konoha's forces that not only was now the time to strike, but that they had a monster amongst their ranks as well…

Moments later, however, over a dozen obscured figures appeared in the air and crashed into Ghost, kicking up a massive amount of dust and creating a sizeable crater. The oppressive feeling stopped almost instantly as Ghost flew backwards out of the cloud and landed near where Sasuke was with a grin on his face. "About damn time the entertainment showed up." The man sniggered. "Why is it that the things a person wants the most always take forever to come?"

"You know, you sure are loud." Growled one of the voices from the cloud of dust. "It kind of bugs me…" A giant humanoid figure rushed out of the cloud with incredible speed straight towards Ghost with its massive arms drawn back.

Ghost sighed, seemingly not caring about the giant thing approaching him. "You know, you sure are stupid…" The beast like man was almost on top of him when a bolt of lightning shot from their side and blasted the monster to the other side of the arena. When the light and dust faded, it revealed a stunned and barely alive man slumped over in a crater made in the wall. "It kinda bugs Scab…" Ghost continued without flinching as he lazily pointed to Scabbard who was leaning against the arena wall with two fingers pointed in their general direction.

"I was aiming at you…dumbass." The lightning elemental stated bluntly as he walked forward with his hands back in his pockets.

"I know." The wind elemental replied in a dopey yet cheerful voice.

"Hey Scab! Did you toast Ghost yet? I wanna have more of those baddies that Orochimaru prepared for us." Asked a female voice from the shadows of the arena. Sasuke turned to see Shadow emerging from the darkness as if it were a tunnel. Without a care in the world, she fully emerged and put her hands on her hips. "Oh, poo… you missed again, didn't you?"

"Since when is that a new occurrence when dealing with Ghost?" Scabbard replied in a bored tone as he stopped next to said previous target.

Several spine-like projectiles were shot at Shadow from the dust cloud, but before they reached her, the girl whipped out one of her arms, showing that she was wearing her clawed and scaled gauntlets, and deflected all of them without looking. "True, but still, you'd think that you'd get a better than 0% hit ratio on the guy, since your brain can literally process more info than a supercomputer."

"The reports were right. Your clan is too cocky for your own good…" Chuckled a confident voice from the dust, getting mild attention from the three clan members.

"Sasuke, Gaara. This isn't your fight. Meet up with the others and get yourselves started from there…" Ghost said without turning around. "…It's not that we think you'd get in the way, it's just that we wanted to have a bit of… fun during this whole fiasco." Ghost flicked his wrists, and two identical short black swords with pale markings appeared in his hands. "… and since I dropped a good portion of the Forest of Death on Orochimaru's pale ass, I'm betting we're going to have a whole lotta fun today."

Sasuke took a few seconds to register what Ghost had told him to do. Between the man's blatant display of power and the revelation of his swords that almost no one had seen before, the boy was more than distracted for a while before he snapped out of his delirium and ran over the wall, followed by Gaara.

Shadow chuckled as her sleeves covered her hands again, ignoring Sasuke's and Gaara's leave. "Heheh. Oh yeah, I forgot that you did that to snake face. Man, I would have paid to see that."

Scabbard momentarily smirked as a long metal pole slid cleanly out of his sleeves. "… I wouldn't have to pay for it… you two owe me so much money that it would only reduce your debt by an unbelievably miniscule amount…"

Ghost groaned. "We get it, Scab. We owe you lots and lots of money. Can you please stop reminding us every time one of our conversations makes the smallest mention of cash?"

"Let's just kill them now… there's only three of them, and 14 of us…" Grumbled another voice as the cloud receded, revealing several changing bodies. Several grumbles and chuckles of agreement were heard.

Scabbard raised an eyebrow as he looked at the group. "… I count 15 of you there…" He stated in a confused tone.

"What?" Shouted several of the voices. "That's impossible! There were 15 of us originally, but you killed Yōri! There should only be 14 of us here!"

The dust cleared to show 15 disturbed looking but otherwise normal looking men and women. Almost all of them had sadistic (but momentarily confused) looks on their faces. Their clothes were basic shinobi attire, and they were looking around to see who the extra was…

Shadow facepalmed. "Damn it, Crypt! You're on the wrong side again!"

"Rah, Rah, Rah, Anarchy! Rah tax breaks and immigration control!" Crypt roared randomly from the middle of the crowd. "… I am evil!"

"Get him!" Roared one of the experiments as half of them tried to crush the man with their claws and/or daggers. Unfortunately, they all missed as the man somehow managed to jump over to the correct side with his scythe in his mouth… showing the horrors that were hidden when he was in the group.

Impaled on the shaft of the Third Fang were three exsanguinated bodies of random Oto shinobi, desiccated and rigid, with empty eye sockets and withered skin. The sight unnerved several people who had managed to take the time to watch the fight, and caused several of the experiments to take a half a step back.

Ghost sighed. "A pre-battle snack, Crypt?"

Crypt giggled in a slightly darker tone. "Num-nums for my tum-tum."

"Get rid of your snacks, Crypt, they'll ruin your meal…" Scab ordered Crypt as if he were a child before looking at Ghost with a careless glance. Not many would catch it, but the blind man was sweating a small amount and his breathing was somewhat audible. "You okay?" He whispered. "Even if it was only to project your voice farther for a few seconds, controlling all of the airspace above and around the village while you're not in one of your higher levels must have exhausted you…"

Ghost chuckled as he lifted one of his arms and held out one of his swords. "What do you think these are for, Scab?"

Shadow sighed and shrugged as Crypt somehow made the three bodies on his scythe dissolve in a cloud of dust and bone fragments. "Honestly, you're such a masochist sometimes, brother. It's no wonder you're going out with Anko and Hana right now. Can you at least let up on your restrictions a bit for this? We can't have everyone knowing we're immortal, you know… or think we're zombies… again."

"Yes, mommy dearest." Ghost groaned. The three other family members could hear small cracking noises coming from around the man, similar to windows breaking under stress. "There, I'm at 40%. You happy now?" The man pouted childishly.

"Nevar!" The woman shouted to the sky.

"You brats look pretty confident, considering we have you outnumbered over 3 to 1." Growled one of the opponents. "I'm surprised you're not taking us more seriously…"

Scabbard walked forward with a gentleman's posture. "Please excuse my family. They are quite eccentric… and stupid."

"Hey!" Ghost and Shadow yelled defiantly.

"Help! The world is spinning and I can't make it stop!" Crypt shouted as he himself spun in place.

"Exhibits A through C." The man sighed. "None the less, I have a question for all of you…"

The group of 14 experiments chuckled darkly. "Sorry pal, we don't take last requests…" One of them laughed.

Scabbard's cool stature remained unchanged. "Actually, I was wondering if you would be so kind as to surrender to us without any resistance."

The group burst out into full blown laughter. "Hahah! This guy is a riot! What the hell makes him think he can just tell us to give up like that when he's already in a shitty position in the first place!"

Scabbard patiently waited for several moments, during which one of them started to charge at him. "In return, we can remove your Cursed Seals…" He said in the same even tone, but a little louder so they could all hear him.

All of them laughed even harder, and the one charging at Scabbard slashed at the man with a kunai, prompting him to jump back. "What the hell makes you think that we want to get these things off?" Shouted one of them. "We went to Orochimaru to get power! Even if you could remove these seals, why the hell would we give that up now? Who cares if we have to serve under the guy? Your village is screwed anyways! Once we're done with you cowards, we're going to go nuts on this weak village!"

Scabbard hopped back to his family, with a calm and bored demeanor on his face. "… I see all of you share the same mentality…" He mused, looking at all of them carefully. Behind him the rest of his clan started to grin sadistically. All of them had slightly longer canines, except for Crypt, whose teeth seemed to have all turned into sharp ivory daggers. "… then it seems there is no reason why we should spare your lives."

o. o. o.

"Oh man oh man oh man oh man…" Chōji heaved out in a panicked tone. "This is what was going to happen? What's going on? Why are those shinobi attacking us? Who did that genjutsu? Ghost-sensei is actually serious… oh man oh man…"

Ino was shivering with her eyes wide open as she held onto Chōji. "Of all the things he had to do just now, why did he have to use his killing intent? …I never got used to that feeling, even when I was prepared…"

Neji frowned as the veins around his eyes bulged. "I see many shinobi from Oto running around and engaging in combat with shinobi from Konoha, Kusa, Taki, and Suna… but they seem to be rather surprised and angered by the Suna-nin in particular…" He glared at Temari, who was frozen in place from experiencing a healthy dose of Ghost's killing intent. "Care to explain?"

Before the girl tried to tell her side of the story, Naruto stepped up and started to toss everyone radios. "Long story short, Suna was going to betray us, but Oto betrayed them first and hoped they wouldn't realize it until after the invasion. Suna found out, spilled their guts about the invasion, and we're already in the middle of the counterattack." He tossed the last radio to Temari. "Shika is on the other end navigating everyone in Konoha, but Scab-sensei got everyone into place during the Exams. Orochimaru is fighting Old Man Hokage, Ero-nii's family are taking care of specialized assassins that said pedophile sent after them, and the rest of our sensei are busy taking out a good portion of the rest of the enemy. Your job right now is to get outside and protect the civilians as they get to the bunkers. Travel in groups of 4, three at the very least…"

"You'll not be with us, Uzumaki-san?" Shino asked curiously as he put on the radio.

Naruto grinned darkly. "I'll be spamming clones left and right to help everyone out around town… but I have a very special job to do that will take up a lot of my time and chakra, so I can't be with you guys. Sorry."

Neji crossed his arms. "I am judging from your demeanor and what you just said that you still have a few techniques that you haven't shown us yet…"

The blonde shook his head. "Of course I have a few moves left… but this one in particular could get me into a bit of trouble if people see me doing it yet… so I have to be hidden when I do it. Just… keep your ears open. You'll know it when you hear it…"

Hinata stared at her crush in shock. "N-Naruto-kun… d-don't tell me you're going to use… THAT…"

"THAT?" Ino asked curiously, looking at the shocked girl. "Hinata, do tell us, what is THAT… and while you're at it, can you also be kind enough to let us know how you know what THAT is?"

Naruto's eyes widened as he turned his attention to the hallway and made a dragon seal. "GET DOWN!" He yelled as he launched a gale of wind down the corridor, repelling the kunai with an exploding tag tied to its ring that was thrown at them and sending it back to its shocked Oto owner. The tag went off in front of the would-be assailant's face, killing him and his entire surprised squad as the roof collapsed on them. The blonde clicked his tongue in irritation as he made several clones without seals and quickly checked everyone on the ground.

"That was close. Thank goodness for Naruto's youthful actions!" Lee coughed as he got back up.

The blonde frowned. "This is a bad place to talk. Almost all the enemy knows where we are, and I bet they're determined to take us out while we're still young and weakened. Since there's 13 of you including Sasuke, Gaara, Kankurō and Kiba when we meet up with them, there'll be 3 groups." He started pointing people out. "Ino, Chōji, Shino, Kiba, and Neji will be the first group. Sakura, Sasuke, Gaara, and Tenten will be the next, and the final group will be Temari, Kankurō, Hinata, and Lee." Several clones ran out of the viewing area into the arena, sticking to the walls and running up into the audience area while three more clones joined each group. "Right now, Hinata, Neji, and Gaara will be the respective leaders of each group. You all have clones with you in case you need to relay messages quickly or a fast scapegoat is needed. They can fight, too, but since they're shadow clones, one hit will kill them."

"HAHAHAHAA!" Laughed an overconfident and sadistic female voice from the arena, interrupting the blonde. "BOW DOWN TO THE QUEEN!" A flash of light and explosions occurred, soon followed by roars of surprise, agony and pain.

The whiskered boy deadpanned. "I don't need to tell you that going into the arena right now is suicide, do I?"

The rest of the genin in the room shook their heads, clearly not desiring, in _any_ form, getting in the way of an Ōgakari in a battle frenzy.

Naruto nodded. "Good." He starting fooling around with his radio. "Hey Shika, you there? Everyone here has their radios on right now…"

There was some static running through their radios for several seconds before a warped voice became audible. "Yeah. I have all of you registered here. Anyone hurt?"

"Aside from what we got from our matches, no." The blonde replied. "What's going on outside? We're still in the waiting box and I collapsed the main entrance, so we have a few seconds for info."

"Right." The Nara replied as he accessed the town's current status. "… Right now, the arena and the east end of the village are the most active, but thanks to our information, we have them covered fairly well." There was a pause. "From what I've received, you might have some trouble getting out of there by yourselves, but I can lead a couple of the sensei to you guys if you wait a few seconds. I know that Zabuza is with Gaara and Sasuke right now, Kurenai is with Kiba and Kankurō, and Gai is with Sakura and Tenten. I can organize all of you to meet up together…"

"No time." Naruto interrupted. "Bring Zabuza and Gai-sensei's groups together, and tell us where Kurenai-sensei's group is going to wait for us."

"You form teams already?" He asked.

"Ino, Chōji, Shino, Kiba, and Neji. Sakura, Sasuke, Gaara, and Tenten. Temari, Kankurō, Hinata, and Lee. Hinata, Neji, and Gaara are in charge." The boy said sternly.

There was a pause. "… Got it."

"You have any problems with the way I set things up?" The boy asked curiously.

"Could be worse." The voice yawned. "But on the whole, it isn't bad… I'll add Haku to Sasuke's team just in case, though, since they don't have anyone that's a clear front runner and half of the team is already exhausted."

"What about when we're outside?" Shino asked in an even tone.

"I'm looking at the village's status right now." Shikamaru replied. "Once you are all outside of the fighting area around the arena, your groups will split up. Hinata's group is the least wounded, but also has the least number, so they'll be in charge of guiding the civilians in the northeast part of the village, which is close to the main fighting but hasn't been hit hard enough yet. You will have to be fast, but also careful of potential troops sent ahead. Neji's group will deal with the southeastern area, where most of the fighting has started to be resolved but there are still some hot spots. Look for stragglers and survivors, but keep your eyes open. Gaara's group has the most wounded, but they are also potentially the strongest group regardless. They have the middle of the village, specifically between the stadium and the eastern border. If anything goes wrong in either of the active zones, that area will be the first place to get hit. It's also the area where stronger enemies will most likely show up, so be especially careful. Remember, your jobs are to make sure the civilians live, not to ensure that the enemies die. That's what the other shinobi around are for. If you're in a pinch, go nuts, but remember your priorities. Got that?"

Everyone in the room nodded. "I'll make sure to get my clones to tell Gaara's team when they get together." Naruto responded before smirking. "It's funny to hear you actually take something serious for once, Shika."

"It's funny to hear you actually not talk about ramen for once, Naruto." Shikamaru countered, causing everyone in the room to laugh. "All right, guys. Gai, Zabuza, and Kurenai's groups are all on the east side of the arena waiting for you. I suggest you get going now. Remember, our sensei aren't going to be helping us this time, so you're on your own unless I somehow find someone free nearby, which is extremely unlikely. Keep in mind that the only enemies we have are the Oto shinobi. You see any other headband, don't fight them unless they throw the first punch." He paused. "So, one last piece of advice. Try not to do anything Naruto would do, okay?"

"That's cold, Shika." Naruto pouted as everyone in the room (including his clones) sniggered at him. The boy sighed as he walked to the opening in the room. He could see that the visiting immortals were in an epic fight against their opponents… but he had known them for so long that he knew they were playing around more than anything. He could still keep track of Ghost's movements, and none of the enemies had become bloody smears on the ground yet… although several were burnt pretty badly, and one was missing an arm. "All right!" He yelled as he reached out with his senses. "There's a lot of fighting right above us, so we're going to run along the walls to the left 'til we get to a spot that's easier to get through! Once we're through, we'll meet up with the sensei, get our groups together and go do our missions!" He jumped out of the room with a fox like grin on his face. "Let's go! Last one out pays for Ichiraku's!"

The rest of the genin smirked as they followed the blonde. They didn't know what would happen that day, but they sure as hell wouldn't let Naruto of all people be the only person running around with a smile on.

o. o. o.

"What the hell is going on?" Omoi whispered out frantically as he and the rest of the team watched everything from the roof of the arena. The group had barely managed to escape to that area without getting any attention from potential attackers after the fighting started.

"It looks like an invasion by Oto." Samui answered in a too-calm voice.

"Damn it Samui, I could have figured out that!" Karui said irritably.

"Shut up, all of you." Yugito barked. "I'm trying to think about what we should do here. If you keep on yelling, you could get us involved in unnecessary fighting."

"Shouldn't we, you know… run away?" Karui asked. "I mean, this isn't our war… and whatever that guy who screamed did seems to have caused everyone in the village to start moving in overdrive… aside from the civilians that got hit with that genjutsu, at least…"

"No." Yugito replied sternly. "It would make us look suspicious, and if we're caught running from the village in the war by ANBU, we could cause more tension between our villages… plus, I don't think Raikage-sama would be pleased to hear that we ran from such an important battle with our tails between our legs… much less come out of this chaos without at least _something_ worthwhile…"

"Then what do we do?" Samui asked curiously.

Yugito took a deep breath to calm her nerves and looked around. On the ground, she could see fighting and corpses everywhere. In the arena, she saw most of the Ōgakari clan fighting a large number of strong opponents… and elsewhere, she saw several blonde heads spreading out into the village in all directions… most likely clones of her new secret ally. Looking in another direction, she saw a purple box… most likely where the Hokage was supposedly fighting the missing-nin Orochimaru… she would make sure to stay away from there. "… We will perform recon." She said with finality. "This is a good chance to see Konoha's full military strength in action. If you are confronted by a Konoha shinobi, do as they say without question. We don't want another international incident on our hands. If you are attacked, however, you have my permission to fight back. Under no circumstances are you to engage the enemy otherwise. Understood?"

"Yes!" All three of them responded in unison.

"Who are we going to observe?" Karui asked curiously. "The Hyūga?"

Samui hit the girl over the head. "Are you stupid? The Hyūga are the last people we would want to spy on in this situation."

"No…" Yugito muttered as she watched several groups of shinobi separate beneath her, then turned her attention to the arena again. "We won't spy on any of the Hyūga, but I have found another group to watch that is just as interesting…"

o. o. o.

"Kukuku." Orochimaru chuckled in the Kazekage's robes as he stared at his teacher from across the roof. "You have managed to get your hands on some very interesting tools, Sensei… it's a shame that you only had them for such a short time…"

Sarutobi frowned as he stared down his student. Ghost's roar had managed to startle Orochimaru enough to enable the old man to escape. With all the previous conditioning and training that he had done with Ghost, the aged Hokage was in better shape and was better prepared than the last time he fought his wayward student, but the fight would still be difficult to win. "You always did have a bad habit of looking down on everyone, Orochimaru…" He grumbled irritably. "I should have killed you back then…"

"Yes, you should have… because now it is too late." Chuckled the confident Sannin. "Your village is going to be destroyed right in front of you, and you yourself are too old and weak to beat me now… in fact, I may just kill that perverted little gnome of a Tsuchikage afterwards and frame Konoha, just to ensure that there aren't any survivors…"

Hiruzen chuckled as he took off his robes to show that he was in his battle attire. "Orochimaru… it seems you may have been misinformed about several things…"

The pale man took his disguise off as well to show his standard attire. He smirked, but inside he was growing concerned. His ex-teacher didn't bluff when it came to important things, not with that smile. "Oh? Do tell me, Sensei. What have I carelessly missed?"

The old man took a stance. "Well, first, my student… you assumed that we had no idea that an invasion was happening in the first place…" Orochimaru's eyebrow twitched. The man's posture lowered. "Next of all, you thought that Suna would only find out about your betrayal after the fighting was over…" The Sannin hissed angrily as he glanced briefly while keeping the old man in view and occasionally saw Suna shinobi stabbing his Oto forces in the back. "Third…" The old man frowned as he slowly reached back to his kunai holder. "Is that you didn't assume that your old teammate Jiraiya was back in town…" Suddenly, a large echoing crash was heard, and the two powerful men spied a massive toad summoning with two katana on its back landing on top of one of the two snake summons that had just broken through the village's wall. The old man glared at his wayward student. "I know you did not do all of this just to waste you old home and sate your thirst for revenge, Orochimaru. You are twisted, but not that petty…"

Orochimaru chuckled darkly. "Ah. Very true, Sensei… but perhaps I do have a reason for doing all of this…" His eyes twitched hungrily. "I enjoy watching things in motion. It's dull when things are at a standstill, aren't they? A stopped windmill isn't worth watching, you know… though sometimes it's good, because of the anticipation you get for when it finally does start to spin…"

Sarutobi smirked. "It's a shame. You could have made a decent poet, Orochimaru…"

The traitor chuckled. "True. But for now my goal is to make that windmill spin… with Konoha's destruction as the wind…"

"It is unfortunate that you will not survive long enough to see the blades turn…" The old man growled.

The two remained quiet as their chakra levels increased dramatically. Sarutobi had turned off his gravity seal the day before the third exam just in case, so his body was in peak condition for his age. The tiles of the roof cracked considerably all around them as the shinobi present steadied themselves under the new pressure that was pushing down on them

He flung the shuriken he had behind his back at Orochimaru before making seals rapidly. "Shuriken Shadow Clone Technique!"

"Summoning!" The Sannin chanted as he flipped through the seals and slammed his hands on the ground. "Edo Tensei!"

Very quickly, three caskets rose out of the ground in quick succession, blocking the salvo of shuriken aimed at the snake. Sarutobi mentally smirked as he made the snake seal and focused his chakra, just in time to stop the third casket, which was marked with the kanji for 4. The old man briefly smirked to himself. ' _It is not exactly what I would have wanted… but they did say that as long as Minato wasn't resurrected…'_ "Edo Tensei…" The old man grumbled, back into his irritated persona. "Have you no shame, Orochimaru? Making tools of the dead… nothing good will come from playing with time."

The caskets opened to reveal the aged and rusted bodies of the first and second Hokage. "Kukuku…" Orochimaru chuckled. "I wouldn't talk about this technique in such a way if I were you, Sensei. After all, it was your Sensei, the Second, who created this intriguing technique in the first place…"

"Eh? Saru? Is that you?" The Tobirama Senju, the Second Hokage, asked in a confused tone as he looked around. "I could have sworn this happened already…"

"Hmm." Hashirama Senju, the First Hokage, agreed, looking at Orochimaru curiously. "I remember seeing this one before as well… peculiar…"

The Third's eyebrows twitched. This was unexpected, and he hoped that the two would not say more, or else it may cause problems in the future. He would have to say something quickly. "My most sincere apologies for allowing this to happen, my predecessors…" The old man said gravely. "… However, regardless of what you may think, the Shinigami will come only for my wayward student in this battle…"

Orochimaru chuckled confidently, not seeing the two summons nod slightly in recognition of their student's message. "As much as I enjoy seeing the elderly talk, we have more important things to do…" He took out two kunai with seals attached to the ends and inserted one in each of the zombie Kage's heads. Very slowly, the Kage's forms became cleaner and sharper until they looked as they did the day they died, only with a blank expression on each of their faces. "Kukuku… as you can see, Sensei, you are now up against the ones you looked up to most and myself, all alone and…" The Sannin paused as a loud and out of place noise made itself known.

Munch, munch…

The four warriors fell silent and looked warily at the portion of the roof that the noise was coming from. When they actually paid attention, they could see a large hole halfway between the two sides, big enough for someone to see a good portion of the arena through.

"… it seems as though we have another person here…" Hissed the Sannin, somewhat annoyed that he himself had missed such a poorly disguised hiding place. With a small gesture, the first Hokage ran up and broke through the fake roof with a punch… revealing Waltz Ōgakari, eating some popcorn and sitting in a custom-made seat with a bored look on his face and his staff and sword strapped to his back.

"Hey! Get back to the fighting!" The old man grumpily yelled at the First, clearly ignoring the apparent danger he was in.

Orochimaru frowned. "Well, then… what is this?"

Waltz looked at Orochimaru with a deadpan expression. "Well, you see, I'm your standard old man in a box. My owner thought it would be funny to abandon me here on this roof the night before the finals to give me the best view for the event, and what the hell do you think I'm here for, boy?" He muttered sarcastically as he stood up and brushed off the dust on his clothes. "I thought you were the smart one of the Sannin, but I guess that was only in regards to science and jutsu. I bet you are as clueless as Crypt when it comes to people. Hell, I bet you couldn't get laid even if you were surrounded by women who were in love with you…" He paused as he gave the Sannin a careful look. "… or should it be men?"

"I'm glad you're so eager to help me out." Sarutobi sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Help you? Of course not." The eldest man said darkly as he glared at Sarutobi with cold eyes. "You're still on my shit list until you can prove to me you aren't a pathetic coward anymore… boy." He turned to an amused Orochimaru with an equally cold stare, ignoring the Third's flinch. "However, this one right here is clearly far too dangerous to leave alone, so I guess I'll give you a hand this one time…"

Orochimaru burst out laughing, leaning back and covering his eyes, gaining the attention of everyone there. "Hahahaha! This is the best you can do, Sensei? You claimed to have known about my invasion and what I'm going to do, but when the time comes, your only aid is this old man who looks twice your age? Hahahaha!" His laughter slowly died down as his posture returned to normal and he removed his arm to reveal angry eyes. "Apparently you still take me too lightly, Sensei…" The Sannin hissed angrily. "… kill them."

The First charged at Waltz while the Second blitzed Sarutobi. It appeared that the elder Ōgakari was going to do nothing, as the fist closed in on his head, when the oncoming arm was suddenly halted as the defender's massive left hand closed around the First's wrist. "… Is that all?" The blue eyed immortal growled, as the First tried to escape from the old man's grip. The eldest looking man dragged the First so that he was facing Sarutobi's side before punching the zombie in the direction of the Second with immense force, launching the body at incredible speeds and causing the two to collide and fly to the other side of the enclosed area from the momentarily surprised Orochimaru. "Summon Enma! I'll take care of these two!" Waltz roared as he ran from his perch towards the temporarily downed zombies.

"Right!" The Third agreed as he bit his thumb and flipped through the seals.

Orochimaru's eyes widened and instantly pointed his head up and opened his mouth to unleash a snake from his throat. ' _Humph. I shouldn't have been surprised that the old man is so strong, judging from his size and the fact that Sensei actually allowed him into this fight… plus, he's the eldest Ōgakari, so there is no doubt that he has several tricks up his sleeve. I can deal with him later, though… Enma is the larger threat…'_

"Summoning!" The old man shouted as he slammed the bleeding hand on the ground. In a poof of smoke, a large monkey appeared.

"Humph." The Monkey King grumbled as he watched Orochimaru grab the sword coming out of the snake's mouth. "So this is it, Sarutobi? You should have killed the traitor earlier. Even in my transformed state, I can get pretty badly hurt by that Kusanagi of his…"

"Just be glad we have reinforcements, Enma, otherwise we'd be facing my old teachers as well…" Sarutobi muttered darkly, nodding his head behind him where Waltz was for the moment holding each of the Kage down by the neck.

"Edo Tensei, eh?" The monkey muttered darkly as it transformed into a battle pole. "If you weren't so completely sick and twisted, I might have complimented you for learning such a difficult technique."

Orochimaru chuckled as he saw the two kage throw Waltz off of them. "Forgive me if I take what you said as one anyways…" He swung his sword lazily. "Shall we begin?"

"WATER DRAGON BULLET!" Roared two voices in the other fight. Master and student saw that Waltz had taken out a scroll, which was supplying him with an incredible amount of water that he was using to form a giant water dragon, which in turn was colliding with an equally massive water dragon originating from the Second Hokage's mouth. Because the two attacks generated so much water in an enclosed space, the fighting area soon flooded under the deluge of liquid.

"Impressive…" Grinned Orochimaru as he stood on top of the water, looking as Sarutobi did the same. "It seems as if your backup indeed has some useful abilities. Perhaps if he were just facing the Second, you may have a chance of winning… however, this isn't the case…"

"Hidden Art: Forest Genesis." Muttered the First as he made the required seals. Soon enough, the entire roof burst to life with an unusually large amount of immense trees, with maze-like branches and roots reaching everywhere. Thanks to his earlier training with Ghost, Sarutobi could manage to dodge and avoid the wooden whips and attacks this time around for the entirety of the technique instead of being captured by the ever growing wood and stuck in a bad position. Once the technique had died down, the elderly Hokage jumped down where he knew Orochimaru was patiently waiting for him, the water made by the previous standoff gone from either being absorbed by the trees or being evaporated by the barrier walls. Neither one could see, hear, or tell where their allies were at the moment.

"Kukuku. Well, well. You surprise me, Sensei." Orochimaru chuckled. "Despite your old age, you are still in decent enough shape to come out of this technique unharmed. Most impressive… though I do wonder how your friend is doing…"

"Enough talking, Orochimaru." Sarutobi growled as he spun Enma in his hands. "You came here to fight me, and I intend to give it to you in full." With a mighty swing of his arms, the old man extended Enma to incredible lengths to hit his wayward student. Orochimaru ducked under the initial attack, but had to jump out of the way as the old man used the other end of the staff to try and impale him.

 _'He really has been preparing for me…'_ The Sannin mused. ' _His movements are much sharper and faster than I expected them to be… and his chakra levels are just as large…'_

"Fire Style!" Roared a voice to the Sannin's side, surprising the pale man. "Fire Dragon Bullet!" A white hot stream of fire shot down from the trees at Orochimaru, forcing him to retreat back quickly; otherwise, he would be hit by Sarutobi's staff or burnt to death by the fire. Hissing angrily, the man looked to see where the attack came from and was only barely surprised to see another Sarutobi standing in the trees.

"Hm. I'm surprised again, Sensei." Orochimaru hissed with only some amusement this time. "I would have assumed that making shadow clones for such mundane tasks would take too much out of you by now…"

The Hokage smirked. "I've had a lot of practice using them for such tasks, Orochimaru. In fact, it's one of the reasons why I'm in such good shape right now."

The Sannin smirked. "Oh? Does that mean you finally realized that you can use them to do paperwork then, Sensei?"

A tick mark popped up on the elder's head. "Don't tell me you knew about it and didn't tell me, Orochimaru…"

The man's yellow eyes flashed dangerously as he readied his sword. "I told you I would have made a better Kage… Sensei…"

Sarutobi's rage grew as he charged forward and his clone made more seals. "You evil little bastard!"

As the fighting continued and the ANBU nearby watched anxiously, none of the mortal participants realized that there was a very faint hexagon pattern growing on the inside of the barrier…

o. o. o.

Neji's group ran towards the south eastern area of the village at a hurried pace. After they escaped the arena will few problems since Naruto's clones had already scoped out the safest escape route, they met up with Zabuza, Kurenai, Gai, Kankurō, Kiba, Haku, Tenten, Sakura, Sasuke, and Gaara. There was little time for chatting as the teachers organized everyone into their groups and ordered them to move quickly. Zabuza and Naruto disappeared while everyone else was getting their bearings straight, but it didn't seem to surprise the other teachers present and the clones left behind weren't bothered by it either, so the rest of the genin didn't seem to worry much about it.

"So Naruto, what is THAT jutsu?" Ino asked one of the clones curiously, trying to flirt along the way in order to find out what she wanted.

The clone sighed. "Damn it Ino, I'm not telling you. Do you honestly think I would give away my strongest jutsu just because you asked nicely? Would you do the same thing if I asked you what your strongest and best kept secret technique was?"

Ino flushed and looked away. "Well, no… that is… I'm just curious and everything…"

"Your strongest jutsu?" Kiba asked curiously. "Is it something that Ghost-sensei taught you?"

"Drop it, everyone…" Shino mused quietly. "If Naruto would get in trouble for disclosing the nature of the technique, then I believe it is best for all of us if we didn't know about it yet…"

"Thanks, Shino." One of the clones said. "Seriously guys, it's best if you keep quiet about this thing…" It paused for a moment before it smiled a bit. "… but to answer your question, Kiba… no, Ero-nii didn't teach me this move… in fact, I actually made it." The rest of the genin in the group looked at him disbelievingly. "… It's a wind technique that even Ero-nii can't do…"

"H-hey. Stop talking like that, Naruto. You're starting to creep me out a little…" Chōji laughed nervously.

The clone sighed. "Sorry, Chōji, I'm just suffering from the training a bit." He looked at Neji. "Hey Neji, what's your range with your eyes?"

The boy didn't turn around. "I can see in all directions up to 100 meters, Naruto. How far can you sense with your wind techniques?"

The clone's demeanor hardened. "I can tell where anything the air touches is for around 200 meters naturally, since I'm just a clone. The original can go up to 400, and Ero-Ni's normal range is a kilometer. We can reach farther, but it takes up a lot of chakra to do that.

Shino nervously pushed up his glasses. "Im-Impressive…"

Neji nodded. "Indeed… Okay. This is how we'll be organized. Kiba will be in front since he is also a tracker and will be able to sniff out where some traps and civilians are. Next will be me. With my Byakugan, I can pick out anyone or anything that Kiba missed. Chōji is in the middle as our muscle support, to protect us from the front or the rear. Next is Ino, whose poisonous kunai and clan techniques will support us from a distance. Shino is in the rear since he is trained in both taijutsu and ninjutsu, enabling him to be able to take on and detect any surprise attacks long enough for us to gather again. A clone will accompany the front, middle and rear members of the squad in order to ensure that everything around us is sensed and we are not caught off guard. Since Chōji and Ino supplied everyone with pills and kunai before we split up, we should be good on supplies. Remember, civilians first, enemy shinobi second. Got it?"

"Right!" The rest agreed in unison as the sped towards the devastated southeastern district.

o. o. o.

"Hey Hana! Are you okay with just leaving things like this?" Anko asked Hana as they rushed towards the eastern section, where the last apparent snake summon was still rampaging. "I mean, your mom was pretty messed up when we left her…"

"She's my clan head. She can take care of herself, and she knows when to prioritize things." Hana said bluntly, not wanting to talk about her less than positive experience with her mom at the moment.

"Whoa, whoa. Easy there, ice princess." Anko laughed nervously, knowing that Hana wasn't in a very happy mood. The woman looked ahead and saw that the giant summon was very close by, destroying buildings and hissing up a storm. So far, none of the jutsu that the nearby forces were using were working. The Snake Mistress grinned. "Instead of taking your rage out on me, how about we go nuts on that giant purse there instead. I bet it could take a whole lot of rage right now…"

Hana snorted as she slowly moved towards her triplets. "And if that doesn't work, I'm sure that there're a lot of Oto shinobi around to maim…"

Anko licked her lips. "Oooh? Our little neighborhood masochist has a sadist side to her after all…"

Hana smirked as well. "Much like how you have a slave side, Anko?"

The purple haired woman grinned mischievously. "Maybe."

"I'll distract…" Hana growled as she and her triplets transformed to all look like feral versions of Hana.

Orange snakes slithered out of Anko's sleeves. "And I'll hold it down… then you…"

"Finish it off!" The teen roared as she and her triplets spun rapidly towards their opponent while channeling their respective elements. Each one soon impacted or grazed the snake, causing far more damage than what any of the previous shinobi had done and causing great irritation to the snake, if its loud roar and twisting body were anything to go by.

Anko chuckled darkly as she maneuvered herself into a better position amongst the ruins of the down buildings. She may make fun of the girl on occasion, but she would be damned if she said that the young Inuzuka didn't have massive destructive potential at the moment.

She wouldn't be surprised if Konoha got its first glimpse of the Wolf of Earth this day…

o. o. o.

"Hinata-san! Are there any enemy shinobi nearby?" Lee asked curiously as the group ran through the north-eastern section of the village. Echoes of fighting could be clearly heard nearby.

Hinata shook her head in denial. "I can't see any major chakra activity nearby, but there are clear signs of fighting moving closer to this area from the south, which is what Shikamaru told us." She turned to one of the Naruto clones following the group. "Do any of you sense anything nearby?"

They all shook their head in denial. "No, Hinata-chan. I can feel a bunch of civilians in buildings near us, but none of them have shinobi chakra reserves… but they could be hiding with an earth style technique, or they could be good had masking their chakra signature, so we can't be too sure…"

"It's still pretty weird that we're relying on a clone of all things for surveillance." Kankurō muttered disbelievingly, only to get whacked upside his head by Temari.

"Shut it, Kankurō. Now's not the time for your constant bitching." The female blonde growled before turning to Hinata. "So what do we do? You're the one in charge right now."

Hinata shifted uncomfortably for a moment before she saw the Naruto clones all smile at her confidently and give her each a thumbs up. Taking a deep breath, she calmed down and activated her dōjutsu. "… Many of the homes near where the fighting is taking place are empty, but there are a few with people inside still for some reason…" She pointed towards another district. "Most of the homes over there are still occupied, though…" She turned off her dōjutsu and looked again at who was with her and their traits. "… Kankurō-kun and two of Naruto's clones will come with me to get the remaining civilians in the area that is about to get hit. Lee-kun, Temari-san, and the last clone will head towards the safer district."

Kankurō raised an eyebrow. "Hey… that sounds decent and all, but why are you splitting Temari and me up like that? Since we're siblings and everything, shouldn't we stay together?"

Hinata shook her head. "No. We have to split up in order to reach all the civilians in time, and the village is under attack. If it's just you two entering a house, the residents might get suspicious and not trust you, or in the worst case, attack you instead since you're not from Konoha. Plus, you're both ranged fighters while Lee-kun and I are close ranged fighters, so we complement each other better."

Temari nodded. "I see. You get the extra clone as well since you're going to be in the more dangerous area, so you need the extra backup. Lee and I can use our clone to scout out which buildings have people in them and which ones don't, right?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes, but it will also serve as your sensor, so keep in mind that he will also most likely be the first to inform you when something nearby is off."

"Sounds good, though we would appreciate it if you didn't talk about us like we were objects or pets." One of the clones said, while the other two crossed their arms and nodded with finality.

"Clones are people too! … sort of!" Another one wept.

Hinata giggled. "Fine. I'll try to do that, Naruto-kun." Her face hardened slightly again. "If you find anyone injured, give them enough basic first aid to allow them to get to the bunkers, but no more. We don't have much time. Should we run into trouble, contact Shikamaru-kun from the radios or use the shadow clones to send messages. We'll meet back here every 30 minutes to make sure that everything is okay. Did you get that?"

"Yes!" The rest of the group responded.

"Go!" She shouted as the group split into two and dashed off in separate directions.

o. o. o.

"Are you sure you're good enough to fight, Tenten?" Sasuke asked with an eyebrow raised. "I know for a fact that Sakura's punches are harder than they look."

"Oh Sasuke-kun, please do tell what you mean by that…" Sakura asked in a sickeningly sweet tone that didn't fool anyone there.

"N-Nothing Sakura…" Sasuke said while sweating a small amount. "I just meant you're stronger than you look."

Tenten chuckled lightly. "Don't worry about me, guys. Sakura patched me up as much as she could before the fighting broke out. I'm still sore around the stomach, but she aimed low enough that she didn't hit any of my bones or hurt any of my organs." She paused as she looked at Haku and Sakura. "I'm more worried about you two. Both of you look exhausted. Sakura's been in more matches than anyone else in the exam, and Haku's been in the real fights all day long…"

Haku chuckled sheepishly and waved her hand passively. "Haha. That is true Tenten, but I've been resting at the arena for a while, so I don't need a break that soon. Plus, if I really need a boost, I could use one of those pills that Chōji gave us before we split up."

Sakura sighed and nodded. "I already took one since I was pretty much burnt out from all that fighting and healing I did. As long as I don't need to take another one in the next hour or two, I should be fine…"

Gaara looked back. "… what happens if you take another pill within that period of time? I am unfamiliar with soldier pills since I rarely use up that much chakra… but if I remember correctly, using too many too quickly can poison you…"

Tenten nodded. "Yeah. If you take too many, your body starts to produce so much chakra that it begins to eat at your muscles and organs in order to gain the energy needed to make chakra. The Akimichi have special pills that convert fat into chakra, but those are so dangerous for the user's body that only members of their clan or… um… exceptionally large ninja, can take them without dying. Even then, using the least potent of the pills in that line is enough to cause them extreme pain."

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Huh. I never knew that. Do you know because your dad does deals with the Akimichi clan?"

Tenten nodded. "Yeah. Dad's become really good friends with Chōji's dad, and occasionally I overhear them talking about their trades and products… I hope they're all right…"

The group traveled quietly as they soon made their way to their destination. "… We are getting close…" Gaara said out loud. "… do any of you know this area well?"

"We do!" The clones said at once. "Ichiraku's is a couple of blocks away from where we are now!"

"Figures…" Sasuke muttered under his breath.

"I do too." Tenten spoke up. "My family's shop is nearby, so I know most of the people living in the area."

"I believe that the Yamanaka clan's flower store is within reasonable distance of our current position as well…" Haku mused out loud, not needing to tell everyone that she worked there part time.

Gaara stopped on one of the buildings, followed by everyone else and looked around. "Of the three of you, who has the best knowledge of the area near the fighting over by the gates, and of the area by the arena?"

The three looked at one another carefully. "I think that the Yamanaka store is closest to the gate, and Tenten's store is closest to where we are now…" Haku said hesitantly. "If my memory is correct, Ichiraku's is the closest to the bunkers."

Gaara nodded briefly and looked at who he was with and put their skills into consideration. After a minute he spoke up again. "Sasuke, Sakura and Tenten with one clone will manage the people in this area. Haku and I with the remaining two clones will deal with the area closest to the gates. We will use the clones to locate any civilians and potential threats nearby. Should there be any trouble, fight if needed, otherwise flee on sight and look for help."

"What if there are civilians involved in the fighting?" Tenten asked in a concerned tone.

Gaara closed his eyes and turned around. "… then do as you see fit in the given situation…" The redhead then suddenly jumped in the direction of the gate, prompting a surprised Haku and two more clones to follow him quickly.

The remaining clone sighed as he turned to the stunned and confused threesome. "He means go nuts and try to save the civilians while taking out the enemy." It translated for them. "Don't worry, you get what he's saying if you spend enough time with him… eventually…"

Sasuke sighed as he rubbed his forehead and looked around. They were still relatively close to the arena, so it wasn't surprising that they could hear the sounds of battle fairly clearly in the distance. "For now, can you please stop with the stupid, dobe? We need to help the civilians to the bunkers. Can you at least point out which buildings have people in them?"

The clone pouted before nodding and closing its eyes. "Kill joy. Yeah, so as far as I can tell, most of the buildings here have been cleared out. Odds are most of the people here were at the arena, they were scared off during our matches, or one of the groups of clones the original sent out earlier got to them already." He pointed to an apartment complex down the road and across the street from where they were. "There's a small family on the second floor of that building…" He turned in another direction and pointed to another building in the opposite direction. "And there are a couple of old people in that house right there. I don't feel anyone else nearby, thankfully."

Tenten stepped up. "I don't know much about the family, but I know that the couple that own that house used to babysit me when I was little. I'll take care of them with the clone. Sasuke, Sakura, you guys get the family. If they can move without any trouble, just send them to the bunker and meet up with us. Those two are old, so we shouldn't be far from the building."

The two members of Team 7 nodded. "Right." They said just before they split up.

o. o. o.

"Well now… this is convenient…" A masked and cloaked individual mused to himself as the group he was following distantly split up into separate groups. "For a moment, I thought I was going to have to fight all five of them and those clones… but this will do just fine…" He looked back at the three Oto jōnin behind him. "You know what to do…" He ordered in a casual tone. Without a sound, all three of the shinobi disappeared instantly and started to follow their target, leaving the man behind. If a person could see into the masks eyeholes, they would see that the owner was wearing glasses underneath. "Well then, Sasuke-kun… you've had an interesting time here in Konoha… but I am afraid that our plans for you have to take priority…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Wow. That took me a while to finish. The Sakura/Tenten fight was surprisingly hard for me to write, which is part of the reason why it took so long.

So I saw the third Shippuden movie. Verdict: Best Naruto movie so far, meaning it was mediocre by movie standards. … heheheh. Tenten completely covered that monster in exploding tags. I was laughing so hard when I saw that.

Anyways. I'm done with my junior year of college, and I somehow managed to finish strong despite having a schedule that would cause many others to collapse crying. I'll try to update more often, but with nagging parents like mine, don't expect too much.

So then… how many of you over the past few chapters stopped to think "Hey… where's Waltz?" Heheheh. The brilliance of OCs or side characters is that when one goes missing, no matter how important they are, no one seems to remember much about them.

Anyways. 1k reviews by chapter 50. Review! Worship the log! And for god's sakes, pray for those unfortunate bastards that are up against Ghost, Shadow, Crypt and Scab right now. TILL NEXT TIME!


	43. And now for something completely different… more fighting… yeah…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 43: And now for something completely different… more fighting… yeah…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

How long had she been asleep? Days? Weeks? Her concept of time was continuously being distorted as she floated in the darkness. The last thing she remembered before getting stuck in her current situation was opening a door to the room that she was to meet her leader in, and then… nothing. Occasionally, she would find herself in a box of some kind with a lot of dust in it, but it would never open… and as soon as she tried to move a small amount or try to get out, she would suddenly be forced back asleep again. She would have been terrified, but because her mind was so diluted and foggy, she could only settle for scared and uncomfortable.

She wanted to leave. She wanted to escape, but no matter where she went, all she encountered was darkness.

Then came the pain and energy. It felt as if her body was being supercharged and emptied of everything all at once. It had made her more energetic than she had felt in a long time… maybe even more than any time in her life… but despite that, the charge was leaving her as soon as it reached her body, into the odd material that was surrounding her. Yet still she couldn't leave the darkness. Her body began to move on its own, the sucking power changed rapidly. She felt as if she was in a fight… but who?

Stop… she wanted it to stop. She had enough. She didn't want to fight any more. It was too dark. Too long… The energy was starting to hurt her… the darkness was getting deeper. No… no more… stop, stop, STOP!

Suddenly she couldn't move. She was becoming even more scared now. What was holding her with all this energy going through her? She struggled. Freedom of movement was one of the few things she had left to her in this lightless hell, and now even that was taken from her. She thought this was the end… she was going to die. She thought back and remembered all the horrible things she had done when free. Torturing… killing… blackmailing… but she had been on the receiving end as well. More than once, she had been taken advantage of by her teammates… occasionally some of her seniors at secret villages… she had enough. She was ready to die now…

Suddenly a feeling of relief spread throughout her body, warm… comforting and alive. It was giving her strength again. Moments later, the link that connected her from that draining sensation was somehow severed… as if a blade slashed through her, but only cut that single bond. It stopped that tremendous flow of energy from her body and was preventing whatever was around her from stealing it. Why? She wondered. Why was this happening to her? Who was doing this? It wasn't her master… this feeling was something that she doubted existed in his army or range of techniques… then what?

She was starting to hope again. She wanted out of the darkness. She wanted to be free again. She fought. She fought against all that was around her, she fought against all the pain she had surrounded herself with and pressed forward, where for some reason she felt as if her salvation laid waiting for her. Her feelings were somehow correct, as a light slowly grew in front of her. With one last burst of strength from her exhausted body, the girl made her way out of her prison and collapsed on the ground made of branches and leaves.

Her consciousness already fading again, she took in as much as she could as her body was flipped on its back by several powerful but gentle hands. Looking up, she saw the face of a very large old man with long grey-white hair and a beard to match looking gently down at her with a massive sword in one hand and his other on her chest, glowing with a strong white light. She had seen this man before somewhere. Next to him were two men in their early fourties. One had long black hair and red armor, while the other had short white hair, red markings on his face, and silver blue armor. All were smiling gently at her as she looked at them with tears in her eyes.

"Wh-who?" She rasped out, finding her throat to be exceptionally dry at the moment. If she had more energy at the moment, she would have done or said something about the old man's hand on her chest, but she was so relieved to be free that she couldn't care less.

The eldest man chuckled gently as his hand moved and the glow increased. "Just call me old man, young one. You have been through a lot…" The glowing hand moved to her head. "Rest for now…"

The darkness enveloped her again… but it was nowhere near as scary as it was before…

o. o. o.

Jiraiya smirked as he stood on top of Gamahiro. The invasion was still happening, and there were some enemy shinobi running around, but due to the information Scabbard had given earlier and the preemptive movements of Konoha's forces, the damage and casualties had been reduced significantly.

Jiraiya laughed to himself as he noted how fortunate he was to have memorized the books he had written in the future. While initially the main purpose for such a task had been to send secret emergency messages to his teacher and Naruto, he had found that now, it conveniently allowed him to rewrite the books much faster than before, and as such edit them so that they were better written… This made things easier, because Ghost assured him that if he wrote another 'cheap two-cent porno script' ever again, he would suffer unimaginable terrors… followed by being forced to eat his own testicles.

… He preferred to pretend that fact didn't exist.

Regardless, the other benefit of having more free time was that the Sannin could train some more and iron out some of the kinks in his fighting style. He wouldn't admit it to anyone without a little persuasion, but traveling for so long without encountering many significant opponents or training had caused the man's skills to rust for a while.

Over time, he had gone over the techniques and seals that he had learned years before and refined them. His chakra control had also undergone some fine tuning, and for several months he had also taken a refresher course in the sage arts on Mt. Myōboku. It was embarrassing to admit, but Ghost had pointed out that there was no fucking way he could have been so easily caught off guard in Sage Mode, which enabled him to sense the nature of everything around him, when he fought Pain and lost his arm. He still couldn't go into Sage Mode by himself, but he could manage his sage chakra easier when he did use it, resulting in his transformation not giving him a goatee. His nose, however, still became slightly huge, much to his displeasure…

" **Jiraiya… should we help them?"** Gamahiro asked in a concerned tone as he watched the fighting around the other snake summon continue.

The Sannin snapped out of his musings and chuckled lightly. "You might want to take another look over there, Gamahiro-san. Does it look like they need our help right now?"

The giant summon looked back at the fighting curiously to see what the man was talking about. The snake itself did not seem to have much trouble rampaging around the village until several minutes ago, when several shinobi using odd elemental attacks started to fight back. The techniques they were using were strong enough to pierce the scales of the snake somewhat and get its attention, causing it to stay in the same general area for a while… but devastating it in the process. Oddly enough though, there was another red glow coming from the side of the distracted summon…

No sooner than Gamahiro noticed this than two very large streams of fire wrap around the scaled beast, causing it to shriek out in pain. The two watched in interest as the streams thickened and grew into medium-large summon-sized flaming snakes that were wrapped around their target, burning it as they prevented it from moving and escaping. The smell of burning snake flesh was strong enough to reach the two from where they were watching.

"… **Impressive…"** Gamahiro said quietly. **"… but the summon is still too large to hold down for long… and so far, nothing else has been enough to defeat it…"**

Jiraiya chuckled again as he saw some movement on a building near the fighting. "Just a moment, Gamahiro-san. They're not done yet."

As if to answer the giant's question, a loud howl pierced the air. Two loud wolf voices merged together in perfect harmony. The sword wielding summon looked in the direction of the howl to see a medium summon-sized two headed wolf. Its pure white fur was laced with dark yellow and gentle green tribal designs, each color originating from one of the heads. Next to it, two glowing red Inuzuka hounds sat patiently, glaring at the trapped summon whose attention it captured with its howling and turned straight towards it.

The second the monster reared back to hiss at the wolf, it started to move. Its thick muscles tightened, forcing it into a ready position. As the massive head arched down and the mouth began to open, the wolf charged forward into the air and spun rapidly, instantly surrounding itself in a massive whirlwind and sparking with bolts of electricity.

The timing was perfect. The trapped and tortured summon's mouth opened wide in defiance, only to have a giant spinning drill of wind and lightning go down its mouth and pierce through the back of its throat with almost no resistance. Its exit, instead of body parts and fluid, was surrounded by large shimmers of light spraying in every direction. The rotating monster continued forward until it landed on top of another building on the other side of the snake and howled once more in triumph, prompting several battle cries to be heard from Konoha's forces. The burning serpents that had been holding down the larger one unraveled themselves from their now dead target and moved in the direction of the other fighting, no doubt commanded to do so by their master, who Jiraiya spied jumping next to the large wolf that moments later disappeared in a cloud of smoke and was replaced by a young woman and a normal-sized wolf. Not even a second after that, the two red wolves that were left behind landed on either side of the two.

"Not bad, wouldn't you say, Gamahiro-san?" Jiraiya chuckled in an amused tone as he jumped off his companion onto another building nearby.

" **Indeed… their combination is very powerful."** The giant toad mused thoughtfully. **"I assume you do not need my aid from this point forward?"**

"Not at the moment." Jiraiya replied cheerfully. "I may need your assistance later on, though, so be prepared for another round. Thank you very much for your assistance earlier."

The summon nodded. **"It is my honor, Jiraiya. … However, before I leave… Elders Shima-sama and Fukasaku-sama both requested you return to Mt. Myōboku after today's events to tell them what has happened."**

"I'll keep that in mind!" The super pervert chuckled lightly as his companion disappeared. He turned around to see the women and the dogs disappear into the heat of battle and sighed. "What a shame, those two would have been great research material for my spin-off series…" Seconds later, he stood up, scratched the back of his head and yawned. "Well, then! Since it seems as if everyone has this area under control with the snake gone…" His eyes narrowed slightly. "I guess I'll check up on that slight issue I saw earlier…"

o. o. o.

"Hey brat." Zabuza grumbled as he and Naruto hid in the alleyways near the arena. "Are you sure we can't take out some of the goons while we wait for the signal? It goes against my nature to not kill something while there's a war going on around us…"

"For the last time, shut up you troublesome bastard." Shikamaru's distorted voice replied on the radio. "I'm navigating and micromanaging an entire village's worth of shinobi here. The least you could do is do your part and not make more noise than Naruto did when he was actually 12."

"I'm taking note of that, Shikamaru…" Grumbled Naruto irritably. Normally he would have laughed off the joke, but at the moment he was constantly getting feedback from the clones he had sent out ahead of his friends to clear out the village. While most people decided not to argue with the village pariah while there was a war going on, some still reacted poorly when his clones tried to help them. More than once, he had received memories of getting stabbed in the back by some of the more… radical members of the village.

Not only that, but he was also getting feedback from some of the more dangerous parts of the village as well. Regardless of how well they prepared the place, there were still a fair amount of civilian deaths, partially due to the panicking Oto shinobi and the snake summons that had been taken out earlier. More than once, he had to stop for a moment to get over the visions of bodies of innocent civilians and children surrounding him with the distinct smell of blood. It made him realize how tough it must be to be an Inuzuka at times. Naruto made a mental note to be a bit lighter on the jokes with Kiba after the invasion… only a little bit, though.

There was silence for a small amount of time before Shikamaru spoke up again. "Wow, no snappy comeback that doesn't make me question my or your sanity? You must be serious…"

"Don't mind him. He's been like that for a while now. I take it that since you are still talking with us that there's something important to share." Zabuza growled irritably.

"Right, sorry." Shikamaru chuckled nervously before clearing his throat. "From what I've received, your target is on the northwest corner of the building. Be careful when you get the signal. I've heard that both the Tsuchikage and his guards as well as the Kumo shinobi are still nearby, so you have to make sure that you're completely concealed, which is hard since your attack will suck everything in the air nearby. Zabuza, you need to make sure to pump out a lot of mist so Naruto's part in this attack is hidden. Got it? And for Kami's sake, Naruto, check to make sure that the target is the one we discussed before you attack. It would make things more than troublesome if you took out the wrong one."

"Yeah, yeah. I got you, pineapple-head." The assassin muttered under his breath as the blonde growled defiantly. "This will be a great time to test out some of the special additions that bastard Scabbard gave to my sword, anyways.

o. o. o.

"What the fuck!" Roared one of the experiments as he jumped back to dodge Crypt's Third Fang and not get decapitated. At the moment all of the would-be assassins had their Cursed Seals on Level One, but it had done little to change the tide of the fight. "These guys aren't human! Even with all of us using our seals and our techniques, they've been doing nothing but playing with us!"

Indeed, since the fight started, it had become apparent that the Ōgakari had been fighting less as if their lives were on the line and more as if they were just passing time. Of course, it did not seem like it at first, but as the fight had gone on, the snake's servants were starting to lose ground. Perhaps it was when the one known as Crypt dropped out of the sky and stabbed the ground with his scythe, then Ghost attached a chain sword from nowhere to the man, spinning around him at impossible speeds and slashing at anything in range of the circle while wrapping the giddy man with a long line of black chains, then stopping and whipping the tied up man at one of their forces so hard that the struck man was literally stuck into the wall that they started to realize that they'd bitten off more than they could chew.

Or maybe it was when they saw the one known as Scabbard shooting off lightning techniques that looked and acted like real lightning bolts, coming deathly close to his family members, only to barely miss said family members and hitting their own forces in their extremely small blind spots… and making it look easy.

Or maybe it was when they realized that the woman of the group could fire off techniques of **every basic element** and even some bloodline limit elements from her sleeves at any time she wanted, which was before then supposed to be impossible. Yet she was also so extremely skilled at taijutsu that they had to keep their distance.

The few of them that did work well together tried to team up and use various tactics against one or more of the family members. That didn't work either, since their foes either did exactly the opposite of what they wanted them to do (Shadow), did something completely stupid and threw off the strategy almost as soon as it began (Crypt), predicted what they were doing before it was finished and they then fell into a trap themselves (Scabbard), or dodged the thing entirely with unnatural ease (Ghost).

In any case, unless they went all out right now, they were fucked.

"Hey! They're too good!" The apparent leader shouted in a panicked tone. "We have to go Level Two or we're dead!"

Many of the others grumbled or hissed in agreement. Going to Level Two was no joke, even to the dumbest of them and was only used for either desperate fights or quick surges of power. As of right now, despite the horrible thrashing they had been getting, none of the 15 experiments were dead. Maimed? Yes, but not dead.

The family stretched lazily as they waited for what the enemy was going to do next, as if they didn't know what their next move was going to be. They raised their eyebrows as they saw the enemy transform in front of their eyes. No matter how many times they watched it, human to monster transformations were always odd to see. Missing limbs grew back into place and additional limbs grew in others. Bones and shells manifested on their darkening skin. Hands turned to blades and claws, nails lengthening. Hair changed color and eyes turned black as night, with feral intent manifesting lurking right behind them.

Many of the non-Oto shinobi that were not in the middle of fighting temporarily froze as they saw the monsters change in front of them. To some, unfortunately, it became their undoing, as several enemy shinobi used this distraction to lessen their enemy's numbers. Luckily, Kakashi, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma were not as surprised as many of their allies and managed to stop some of the sneak attacks from following through. Still, there were some shouts of concern and warning for the Ōgakari as more people realized what was going on.

"Heheheh…" Chuckled one of them, looking like a demonic sea turtle of some sort with a massive spiked shell and claws for arms. "I bet you're not so confident now, are you brats?"

The Ōgakari all looked at each other expectantly before turning back to the monstrous group and shrugging.

"You've been to one redneck carnival, you've been to them all." Shadow replied simply.

"Meh." Ghost replied. "We've seen worse. Shadow right after she wakes up in the morning is just as bad…" His example was interrupted as said sister whacked the man upside the head with her clawed gauntlets.

"I'm still hungry…" Crypt pouted before looking at the turtle-man again. "… can you lay eggs?"

Said mutant stumbled back as his comrades tried to hold back a laugh. "What the… I'm a guy!"

"Make me some eggs, fish person! I'm hungry! I want eggs!" Said insane man childishly moaned as he threw a tantrum, causing the enemy to laugh more… though some were laughing due to the fact that the man that Scabbard had blasted before the fighting started had transformed into a huge bull monster that could easily be mistaken for a minotaur with obscurely large arms, and he was sneaking up on the apparently unsuspecting family.

"Hmmm…" Shadow mused as she crossed her arms and pretended to think. "You know, I do think we may need a bit of help this time…" She said mockingly and seemingly not aware of the bull man behind her.

"Die, you slut!" The man roared as he was about to crush the girl with one of his massive arms.

Boom!

Something huge fell out of the sky and crushed the man before the attack finished, surprising the opposing forces.

"That will do, I suppose." Scabbard yawned, clearly not at all surprised by what just occurred.

"You done getting used to your new size yet?" Ghost moaned as he tried to stem the bleeding from the back of his head from Shadow's hit.

"Tacos." Crypt nodded with finality. "Fish egg tacos… or could they be burritos? … Chalupas?"

The remaining 14 men and women gaped and shuddered as they took in what they saw. Behind the Ōgakari and on top of the broken and mangled body of their comrade was a silver white dragon with fire pink tribal designs and eyes. They could easily tell that this was the Ōgakari's dragon that had been flying around the entire village for the past few days… except there was one… small difference.

Instead of being small enough to carry on a person's shoulder… she was the size of a horse… a large scaled horse… with fangs… and claws.

" **Hmmm."** The dragon purred out deeply, but with a clear female voice as she looked down at the human hybrid she had just crushed. **"Interesting little toys you have found, my servants…"** Her fierce but amused eyes turned to the stunned enemy. The dragoness licked her lips and slowly walked forward with catlike grace, her long wings folded neatly against her body. **"You always do seem to find the most interesting places to nest…"**

"Well, of course we do." Ghost replied in an offended tone as he started to tie something to the end of his ponytail. "What's the point of living in a place that's boring?"

"To cause a lot of chaos and make it not boring?" Shadow asked curiously.

"Or to ensure that you have a place to hide where no one would expect you to reside." Scabbard answered sagely, also ignoring the sweat dropping enemies.

"To hide secret meetings with the fire breathing chair possums of Babylon 5 that inhabits the demonic 500 mile tall mahogany trees!" Crypt shouted gleefully. "It should be noted that the trees there ALSO BREATHE FIRE!"

"That's it!" Roared one of the monsters in the front, appearing to resemble an alligator. "Dragon or not, those freaks have been mocking and ignoring us for too long! They can't handle us now if we all attack at once! We have the Curse Marks on our side! GET THEM!"

Almost all of the assassins charged forward with their mutated body parts extended to rend the clan apart, ignoring the words of caution the remaining members were yelling from behind. Ghost and the others noted that the ones that remained were the opponents that had been hit the least or not at all, proving to be potentially strong, or at the very least intelligent opponents.

" **Oh… Ghost… I forgot to mention something I saw as I was above this large nest…"** Zuzushi purred sweetly, not fooling any of the clan members in the slightest. Ghost didn't like the look in her eyes as a glow grew from her mouth.

"You're going to kill our fun… aren't you?" Ghost groaned as her mouth opened a little and the glow evolved into a light.

The dragon chuckled as she turned to the oncoming monster mob. **"The snake summons you promised me were already defeated… so I'll just have to take most of these appetizers down as compensation…"**

An instant later, Zuzushi's mouth opened completely, letting loose a massive pulse of white energy that hit the would-be monsters dead on. The resulting explosion threw back everyone in the arena as the shockwave pulsed outward. Regardless of what they were doing now, almost the entire arena's conscious populace gaped at what the dragon had just done. The Oto shinobi's morale took a huge blow. They thought that once Orochimaru's top experiments had finished with the Ōgakari, they would be able to help out with the arena and clear out the area, but in a single move, a DRAGON of all things drops out of the bloody sky and took out over half of them. The Konoha and allied shinobi fighting clearly noticed a change in resistance as the fighting continued.

When the dust cleared, however, everyone able to get a moment's break looked to see a massive crater where the oncoming mob once was. Blood and mutated body parts were abundant in the area, all browned by a thin layer of dust.

Onlookers would have also had their attention drawn to the odd development on the Ōgakari's side…

The dragon that had caused the horrific explosion was covering her head with her claws and hunched over as the Ōgakari clan was punching and kicking her angrily.

"Damn it, Zuzushi! That was our only good entertainment for a long time, and you had to go ahead and blow it up just because we couldn't get you a giant snake to kill!" Ghost roared as he jumped repeatedly on her back.

"How many times do we have to tell you to ask us if there are any other interesting fights nearby before you decide to take away our fun, you stupid lizard!" Shadow yelled as she kicked her tenant's head like a child.

"I like poking things!" Crypt said gleefully as he jabbed at Zuzushi's rear end with the shaft of the Third Fang. (A/N: … don't say anything.)

Scabbard simply stood to the side with his arms crossed, but anyone who knew him well enough could tell that he was just as agitated as the rest of his family. "… It seems as if we need to train you some more in patience… Master Zuzushi…"

" **Damn it! Not Again!"** The dragon moaned like a child that's been caught doing something bad.

Their irrational tirade was soon interrupted as they heard laughter coming from the other side of the dust. Ghost decided to speed things up and force the annoying obscurity down to show that four of the enemy's forces still lived, and of them one was laughing somewhat unstably.

"Hahahaha!" A massive wolf-man roared happily. His body was completely covered in huge muscles as he stood over 7 feet tall, and he had a massive sword comparable with Zabuza's on his back. "How wonderful! You are all so strong! So relentlessly honest with your power! I was hoping for a good fight, but this! This is the kind of fight I've been dreaming of for years!"

"You've been waiting for a one-sided brawl in the middle of a war where your genetically mutated friends get killed all at once by a dragon?" Shadow asked incredulously. Crypt's head popped out from the side curiously as he looked at the man.

"Heheh. No…" The enemy chuckled darkly. "What I mean is that you are all strong… and you love to fight…" His yellow eyes glowed. "I went to Orochimaru, yes… but only so that I could enjoy fighting stronger enemies! Orochimaru, Konoha, this war, they all mean nothing to me!"

"What are you saying?" Hissed one of his apparent allies, a praying mantis looking man with three sickles sticking out of each side of his body. "You will be killed for saying such things!"

"Who cares?" The wolf-man laughed as he drew the sword on his back. "I never planned on staying with Orochimaru to begin with!" He glared at the Ōgakari hungrily. "So, which one of you will I be feasting on first?

Scabbard sighed as he looked at the man with disinterest. "It seems as if we have no choice in the matter… this guy is a complete battle freak…"

Shadow also sighed as she leaned up against Zuzushi. "Yep. It's obvious who's got this one."

Ghost stretched as he jumped down from Zuzushi's head. "He's all yours…"

Before most low level shinobi would have noticed any movement of any kind, there was a clash of blades on the mutant's side of the arena. When they turned to look at what made the noise, they would be somewhat unnerved at what was before them.

The wolf-man's large sword was grinding against a massive red blade belonging to an insidious looking scythe that seemed to pulse eagerly every other second. Its wielder was holding it with only his mouth, but anyone could tell that he was smiling insanely, with sharp glowing red eyes shining under his ratty long hair.

"Heheheheh…" Crypt chuckled darkly as he pushed against his equally happy opponent, his voice and way of talking clearly different than it was before. "You know… you're my kind of guy… I was wondering if I would come across someone like you today… people like us… many could say we're a dying breed…"

"Hoh?" The wolf-man asked curiously at this new development, his blood pumping faster in response to this new and interesting opponent. "This is certainly a surprise. I thought that the woman was the one with the lust for battle…"

Crypt snorted. "Her? Nah. She's good at fighting, but she doesn't have the true lust for it that we have… the desire to fight challenging opponents just so we can… the nose for the strong, as it were…"

The experiment chuckled. "You have a way with words, my friend… but of course… our kind works better with fists and blades than words…" With a large shove, he and Crypt jumped back and stared each other down.

"But of course…" Crypt grinned as he spun the scythe around his body before catching the shaft in his mouth again and pointed the blade at him. "Try not to die. You're far too interesting to let go so early…" He paused. "… Do you have a name or a title? I don't want you to end up dying nameless by mistake…"

The wolf-man grinned as he twirled his blade over his head before grabbing it with both hands. "A bit late for introductions… but for ones such as ourselves, it is understandable. I go by Ryochi. I don't have any title that I myself go by… but I'm pretty sure the Bingo Books in Kiri refer to me as the Longclaw…"

Crypt chuckled as his stance deepened. "Heh. I can tell why." He took a deep breath. "I go by Crypt… and I have received many names during my travels…" His eyes flashed dangerously. "… however, I suppose my most prominent one is the Devil's Collection…"

They grinned. "Well then… shall we?" Ryochi asked.

Crypt responded by charging forward.

"Well, Crypt looks like he's enjoying himself…" Ghost mused as he looked at the three remaining opponents: the turtle man, the mantis man, and an owl woman with feathers on her arms and a disinterested but sharp look in her eyes. "Dibs on the mantis." He said quickly, running towards his surprised opponent.

"I have the owl woman…" Scabbard responded almost immediately, chasing after his target.

" **I have the…"** Zuzushi tried to cut in before Shadow dropkicked her head rather hard.

"Oh no, you don't!" The woman growled as she began to lecture the goddess. "You already took out more than half of our fun. No more fighting for you unless something big and decent comes this way, and even then, we share that one. Got it?"

"… **Yes, ma'am…"** The goddess wept and cowered underneath the wrath of her container.

"Good." Shadow said with authority. "Now until something interesting happens, you are to wait in the corner while the rest of us take down our targets… ugh… I get a turtle man of all things…"

Zuzushi looked around curiously. **"… Shadow… the arena's a circle…"**

"I SAID TO THE CORNER WITH YOU!" The woman roared as she pointed to the trees, which was clearly not a corner. She made her irritation more apparent as she materialized a whip out of shadows and started making cracking noises with it. The dragon wasted no time jumping out of the way of the whip and hiding amongst the trees, sweat dropping and peeking her head out behind some branches like a child in the process.

"Heheheh…" The turtle man laughed as he stepped forward. "You certainly are an interesting woman. You may have been able to hold us off earlier, but even with 4 of us left now, with our seals on Level Two you don't stand a chance against us if you don't use that dragon of yours. How about it? If you give up right now, I'll put in a good word for you to Orochimaru and you become my woman…"

Shadow responded by turning green and throwing up to the side. "Urp! What the hell? Is that some sort of sick joke?" She gasped before spewing more vomit. "Why the hell would I ever want to go out with a turtle man of all things?! You could lay eggs in my stomach for all I know!"

Said turtle man's scaly eyebrows twitched in anger. "You know something… I changed my mind. Die, you whore…" The man quickly hunched over and the plates that made up his shell shot forward like disks to decapitate the woman.

Shadow responded in kind by lifting both of her arms in front of her so that her sleeves were over her hands and wide open. Multiple giant stones shot out of the sleeves like cannon fire at a rapid pace, neutralizing the spinning plates while several more bypassed the collision site and raced towards her opponent.

Said opponent in turn withdrew into his shell, where the stones hit it intensely, but did not make a scratch of any kind. "Heheheh…" The man chuckled inside his shell. "You're going to have to try harder than that, bitch… my shell can handle attacks from any element no problem. I heard that it's as strong as one of Orochimaru-sama's Rashōmon Gate summons…"

"Hmmm…" Shadow mused in a slightly disinterested tone as she looked around at the other fights. Ghost was clashing blades with the mantis-man, his two arms blurs as they kept up with his opponent's fast six. Seconds later, the two were blasting their respective elements at each other from their mouths, Ghost with his wind, and the mantis man with some kind of flammable spit that was already ignited. Soon enough, they were back to trying to hack each other to pieces in record time. The woman momentarily smirked as she spied the small bells that Ghost had tied to the end of his hair earlier. The man had many tricks and styles in his arsenal, but his bell tricks were among the most entertaining to watch from the outside.

Crypt and his new wolf friend/foe were all over the place hacking at each other like lumberjacks, laughing insanely the entire time. No surprise there.

Finally, there was Scab and the owl woman. The mutant had taken to the air and was blasting huge gusts of slashing wind at the man, joined with exploding feathers. Scabbard at the moment was doing nothing but occasionally shooting bolts of lightning at her that were being canceled out by the wind blasts and dodging the feathers. She didn't spy anything of much interest initially… until she noticed that the woman was saying something to her brother… and the man was responding by twitching in a very… VERY familiar way. "Oh dear lord, the woman is a fangirl… may the fates have mercy on her poor unfortunate soul…" Shadow shivered nervously, knowing that any hope the woman had of surviving that day had been lost now.

Getting her nerves back together, Shadow sighed and turned back to her opponent… only to barely get out of the way as his shell spun past her at a ridiculous speed, shredding her sleeves. "Holy crap, a blue shell of death!" She shouted quickly as she jumped back.

The mutant chuckled darkly as he stopped spinning and stood up again. "Heheh. I don't know what you were using in those sleeves of yours, girl, but since they're all torn up, you can't hide what you're using for all those elemental attacks. You thought we didn't notice that you covered your hands with your clothes every time you used those jutsu? Well, too bad…" His stance widened as he hunched over a bit. "Now to see what your trick really is… and if you were just using seals on the inside of that coat… all the better!" Several shell slates shot forward at the frowning woman, who managed to jump out of the way at the last moment.

"Hmmm… you know, I bet you never had a good date before…" She mocked as her hands flexed. She smirked as her opponent glared at her… and didn't notice as the scales on her gauntlet flared up. "I mean seriously, first you try to get me to surrender, then you attack me, and then you tear apart my clothes? You have no sense of patience! You have no idea how to treat a real woman at all! Pervert!"

"Then get him a woman and tell him to practice already, Midget! I mean, it's not like you're a real girl!" Ghost shouted from across the arena as he dodged a slash that would have taken off his head.

"I swear I will sodomize you with a soldering iron one of these days, Ghost!" Shadow roared back angrily, seemingly not paying attention to her opponent again.

"I've had enough of this, bitch." He growled as he shot more high speed rotating shell pieces at her.

"… and then you try and interrupt my conversation as well? You really do have no manners…" The woman growled as a black cloud shot out from under her gauntlet's scales and enveloped her arms. She raised one of the arms at the oncoming projectiles… and a salvo of stone bullets shot out of the wide cloud around her arms, countering the shells piece for piece and forcing the turtle man to retreat into his shell again.

"What?" The man hissed as he poked his head out of the shell again. "What is that black cloud around your arms? What the hell are you?"

The clouds receded a small amount to show the woman's hands as she waved a clawed finger side to side. "Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. You just love breaking the rules of interacting with women, don't you?" She chided as she walked forward confidently with a dark smile on her face and the black shapeless clouds growing around her arms again. "It's very rude to ask a lady about her secrets, you know…"

o. o. o.

"Well, isn't this just our luck…" Sasuke grumbled irritably as he warily glared at the three Oto jōnin standing in front of him, Sakura, and the family they were escorting through the streets of the warring village.

"Don't you mean Naruto's luck?" Sakura sarcastically replied as she also stood in front to protect the family.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he mutated some of our own to match his." The Uchiha replied with a weak smirk.

"Enough jokes, kid." The apparent leader growled as he stepped forward and pointed to Sasuke. "Boy. Come with us and none of your friends will get hurt."

 _'Tch. These guys are jōnin, or at least special jōnin…'_ Sasuke mentally swore. ' _If it was just one or two of them, Sakura and I might have had a chance to beat them, or at least get away… but with three of them here… and there's that family to protect as well…'_ He looked back to see the father and mother cowering, trying to protect their small child. No… he wouldn't let what happened to him happen to anyone else…

 _'What?'_ Sakura frantically panicked in her mind. ' _Why are these Oto shinobi after Sasuke-kun so early? I thought Orochimaru would have waited more before he actually got his hands on him!'_ The panicking girl slowly managed to calm herself down. ' _… okay… breathe Sakura… it's not over yet. From what we know, the standard strength of the attacking shinobi here are around special jōnin. If I surprise them with my strength… I can take one down easily… but that leaves the other two… and I still have to take the family into account. But what if I…'_ Her eyes hardened as a plan slowly formed into her head. Sakura was beyond glad that her younger counterpart had taken a liking to Naruto so early on in her training. The additional exposure to the more mature and clever blonde had done wonders for her tactical planning abilities. When she got her memories back, those abilities transferred over to her and mixed perfectly with her additional experience. She was still nowhere near as fast as Naruto when it came to making a quick plan, but she could put things together faster than most shinobi could.

"Hoh?" Chuckled one of the jōnin. "Lookie here. The little girl thinks she has a way out of this mess." He laughed and waved his hand as if to tell her to move to the side. "Grow up, genin. This is shinobi business. If you live the next few years and keep that body in good condition, I might just see you again…"

 _'Genin? Why are these men looking at me like I'm a green shinobi? Didn't they see my fights?'_ Sakura wondered curiously. _'… That's it! These guys didn't watch the exams! They don't know the full scope of our skills yet!'_ "Sasuke-kun." Sakura growled with finality as she reached into the kunai pouch Ino gave her. "Gaara's oasis, followed by a wolf's colony and finish with Ero-nii's profession…"

"Cute names, girl…" Another jōnin chuckled as he took out a kunai. "Let's see what these pathetic tactics can do… we could use a little fun before we kill you. To be honest, we weren't going to let you live anyways…"

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow for a moment as he translated what his teammate was telling him to do. "Sakura… what about…" He glanced at the family behind him.

"That's what the colony is for…" She growled as the jōnin leered at her hungrily. "Trust me… NOW!" She roared as she started to throw dozens of kunai and shuriken at her opponents as hard as she could. The enemy was momentarily stalled by the force and accuracy of the flying metals as they deflected several jarring blows and surprisingly took several scratches from other projectiles. It didn't stall them for long, though, as they regained their footing and charged forward, dodging the remaining weapons with ease… but by then it was too late.

"Fire Style: Napalm Flow!" Sasuke roared as he spewed a ferocious jet of burning liquid that hit the ground just in front of the oncoming shinobi and created a wall of fire between the two groups.

"Shit!" Hissed one of the jōnin as he jumped back from the roaring fire so he wouldn't get burned. "Those brats are better than Kabuto told us! I didn't expect them to know a jutsu of that level…"

"Quick! On top of the buildings! They were protecting that family, so they couldn't have gotten far! They're still kids after all!" Yelled another one.

"Right!" The other two agreed as they jumped around the fire and looked down from the buildings. From there, they could see to their displeasure that there were several distinct clones of Sasuke running away in different directions while the pink haired girl and the family barely disappeared around a building's corner.

"Go for the family!" Shouted the leader in a somewhat tired voice. "The tree huggers are always sticking their necks out for others! He can't be too far away from them!"

It took less than a minute for the men to catch up to the family and Sakura as they tried to hide in an alleyway and corner them. The pink haired kunoichi shivered unconsciously as she stood in front of the family with a kunai in hand. "Not bad, girl…" The leader growled with sweat on his forehead. "But you should know better than to run from jōnin…" He took a kunai and threw it at her, cutting her cheek deeply in the process. "We were going to give you a quick death after we got the Uchiha… but now I've decided to have a little fun with you instead…"

Thump.

The leader's eyes opened wide as he turned to where the sound was coming from and saw one of his comrades on the ground with a kunai sticking out of his back. It was an instant killing blow. "What?" He shouted as he expanded his senses and noticed something was off as he heard something move but couldn't see anything there. "Genjutsu!" He yelled in realization. He and his partner quickly focused their chakra to cancel out the illusion… which was their second mistake, as they forgot about the girl and family they had cornered. The second they had taken their eyes off of the group, the child, which appeared to be no older than 8 years old, rushed forward with surprising speed and stabbed the other henchman in the heart with a kunai that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere just as they canceled out the illusion, showing another Sakura standing to the side of the alleyway with two kunai in hand.

"You… fucking… brat…" The dying henchman growled as he stabbed the boy in the neck with the last of his strength… only to have his revenge robbed as the boy merely disappeared in a cloud of smoke and a light poof.

"A shadow clone?" The lone leader gasped in surprise before he suddenly turned and unleashed a wave of kunai and shuriken on the rest of the family and the first Sakura, impaling all of them almost instantly… and in turn making them disappear with a cloud of smoke each. He mentally swore. They had been so caught up in chasing the Uchiha and had seen so little of the family that they didn't bother to check if they were transformations… although they didn't expect the boy to transform his clones in the process. It was a rookie mistake, and they had fallen for it. No matter, though. The pink haired girl was right in front of him. All he had to do was kill her and the Uchiha would show up eventually. "That's it, girl. You're DEAD!" He roared as he rushed his surprisingly sluggish body forward to kill the frowning girl.

Much to his surprise, his strategy once again failed miserably. Despite his clearly larger size, the girl easily got inside his defenses and punched him with enough force to shatter his ribcage and scramble his organs. The rest of his body flew backwards moments later and crashed into the building on the opposite side of the alleyway.

Sakura sighed as she caught her breath. She didn't think her strategy would work so well. 'Gaara's Oasis' was another way to say 'Desert Oasis', which was a formation Sakura and Sasuke used to slow down enemies. Sasuke would use a massive fire technique to shield them from the enemy's view while Sakura cast whatever illusions she needed at the time. In this case, Sakura created two false surrounding illusions. One around herself, and the other around Sasuke and the family. The jōnin didn't even notice the small shimmering in the air since they were so close to the fire Sasuke had made. A 'Wolf's Colony' was normally something Naruto would do, where he would create a lot of clones and transform some to look like the target the enemy was after and lead them on a wild goose chase. She knew it was a risk to force Sasuke to make so many clones, but it was the best shot they had at the moment, and only one or two of them would be fighting capable. The last order was simple. Assassinate the enemy when the time was right. While Sakura was hidden under her first illusion and waiting for the clone family to be cornered, she had cast the reaction enhancing illusion on herself. Then under her cover, she took out the first enemy. While the two were distracted with her illusion, thinking she was the only threat there, the clones took their chances. Finally, with the leader there by himself and unknowingly poisoned and the clones gone, Sakura could unleash her real strength without blowing her cover and take down her opponent. It was risky to go by herself, but Sasuke would have used too much chakra to make so many clones at once and Sakura's stealth was much higher than Sasuke's when her illusions were set up. Plus, the second they saw that Sakura had managed to hit her opponents with the weapons that Ino gave them, they knew that it would only be a matter of time before the men fell to the incredibly potent poisons that were lacing them.

"Hey!" Shouted a clone of Sasuke's as it jumped down from the rooftops in front of the panting girl. "You okay?"

"Yeah… just… just not used to fighting in this situation yet…" She panted wearily, hoping the clone would buy her story.

"Right…" It replied as it looked around and spotted the dead leader. "… mind telling me what you used on that last one?"

Sakura gave a weak smile. Past or future, killing someone with your bare hands always gave the girl a squeamish feeling after the act. "I used a special tag that I got from Tenten's place. It was the same one that I used on that guy from Ame in the exams…" She lied.

The clone looked at her curiously before shrugging and turning away. "Makes sense, I guess. The original is taking the family through the secondary main roads near your place to get to the bunkers faster in case there are more shinobi nearby…"

Sakura took in a deep breath and nodded. "Right. I'll be there within 2 minutes."

The clone responded by disappearing in a cloud of smoke to relay the message and order the other clones to disappear as well. Sakura then jumped towards where Sasuke was located.

If they had waited two more seconds, the clone would have received the message telling them that something had gone horribly wrong…

o. o. o.

Thrust. Parry. Dodge. Sweep left. Jump. Overhead swing. Retract the far end. Spin to try and land a hit with the other end. Duck. Block. Dodge. Thrust…

Orochimaru and Hiruzen danced around each other with their weapons spinning around them almost as if they had coordinated the entire fight beforehand. Both growling as they glared at each other and tried to land killing blow after killing blow, only to be blocked or miss each time…

Hiruzen was mentally kicking himself as the fight lengthened. He realized long before the invasion had come again that he had made a genin's mistake when he had fought Orochimaru… no, even before then, the mistake had made itself present… and as he fought toe to toe against his student again… it became more apparent when he landed glancing blow after blow…

He had let his body decay while in office. It wasn't his skills that had dropped, no. The man could still follow and keep up with even the strongest shinobi out there. He still performed his standard tai- and bōjutsu kata every morning to wake himself up and ensure that his muscle memory was still there… but in the previous timeline, he had neglected to do any strenuous training every once in a while to ensure that his body's base foundations were in decent shape. The situation was almost exactly the same as a rookie Uchiha that had just managed to unlock his Sharingan. His eyes and mind could keep up, but his body wasn't of the same quality, and as a result impaired his performance.

The fact that Orochimaru before had the advantage on him in a taijutsu battle was also insulting. Orochimaru was indeed a brilliant shinobi, but raw close combat was not his forte. In fact, the man preferred to use his Kusanagi to put distance between himself and his opponents before finishing them off with one of his many techniques, or lengthen the blade so that he could kill them off from afar. In all fairness, if the aged Hokage had even put in a decent amount of time ensuring that his physical limits were in peak condition, then he probably would have been able to suck in his student's soul easily, even with a sword sticking out of his stomach. The old man's taijutsu was easily on par with Gai's, even if he was slower than and not as strong as the exuberant jōnin. Even though many would claim that skill plays a huge role in taijutsu battles, there is a point where if one's speed, strength, and stamina are so far below an opponent's that, despite having a clear advantage in skill, it won't make up for the other weaknesses… and that is exactly what happened.

Now… now, though, the story was different. Hiruzen had been preparing for this day for well over a year now, and it showed. He couldn't do much about his stamina, since being old rather restricted the growth on that, but he did manage to raise it enough to be able to make several shadow clones in battle and still fight efficiently. His strength and speed, on the other hand, had recovered quite nicely, most likely due to the fact that his body had already achieved that level before and so it didn't take much to regain a good portion of it back. His sparring sessions alongside Enma had reacquainted the man with the weight and feel of his powerful weapon, and with Ghost proving to be excellent target practice, the aged leader became more used to fighting snake-like styles.

The final product lay in Orochimaru's body, in the form of massive welts and bruises. Even with the man's modified soft body, the mammoth and diamond hard staff that Enma had transformed into was beyond what the scientist could handle. The old man still was nowhere near as fast or as agile as his student, but it was more than enough to handle the current situation with his range of skills. His stamina had only increased enough to mildly impress the pale man, but his strength had grown enough that he could use Enma almost as easily as he could in his prime. With the addition of Waltz taking care of his resurrected predecessors early in the fight and saving the man his much-needed stamina, the match between master and student had taken a completely different route from the previous time.

"Is this all you have, Orochimaru! You claim to want to kill me after all these years, and this is the best you can do?" Sarutobi roared and smirked as he swung at his student ferociously.

Orochimaru clicked his tongue irritably as he dodged another crushing blow from his teacher. The old geezer was putting up more of a fight than he had originally anticipated. This was well within his range of prediction for the fight… but the eldest Ōgakari wasn't. He was slightly unsettled that no significant tremors or movements had been detected on the other side of the sealed area for a while. He was confident that the first two Hokage, immortal no less, were more than a match for an old man who looked as if he was twice the age of his own master, but… regardless, he had to do something to turn this fight around, and he was fairly certain that he knew one or two things that could shake the fool a bit. Jumping far back from the most recent thrust, the Sannin chuckled darkly. "Well, well Sarutobi-sensei… it seems as if you haven't lost your touch… much. It's a shame, you've grown so old… I doubt you would have had this much trouble with me 10 years ago… kukukuku…"

"And yet it's still not enough for you to beat me, boy…" Sarutobi chuckled darkly as he held onto Enma. Spending over a year training with the Ōgakari had caused the old man to develop a small sense of trash talking. He wasn't that good at it… but he let a few insults slip now and again during the heat of battle. The Hokage frowned as the smile didn't drop from his student's face. He had a feeling what was coming next. "What's so funny? Did I hit you too hard in the head?"

Orochimaru reached for his face. "It's so pitiful you know… even for someone as powerful as yourself, hailed as the God of Shinobi cannot defeat old age…" With that he ripped off his face to reveal a woman's face underneath, much to the shock of the watching ANBU…

Sarutobi though, was not surprised. Angry, yes, but not surprised. "Is that all you wanted to show me, Orochimaru?" The old man growled, momentarily shocking the body stealer. "To show off that you managed to complete that sick kinjutsu of yours? I know all about your soul switching technique… that the body you are in is the second one you have stolen… and I for one am disappointed in you. Resorting to stealing other's bodies in order to prolong yourself is pathetic. You have regressed. A snake is too good for you… you are more like a leech now… or a tapeworm…" The woman's eyebrows twitched angrily. "I think I should list you in our history books as Sanadamushimaru from now on. It would only be fitting for someone as disappointing as yourself…" (AN: Japanese for Tapeworm, with a -maru suffix on the end, similar to Orochimaru's name)

Before Orochimaru could reach the peak of his shock and rage, an explosion erupted behind Sarutobi. Both shinobi looked to see Waltz's slumped form land among the broken branches with his back turned to them as the emotionless Kage leapt over Sarutobi and landed next to their summoner's side. There was silence for a moment before the deranged man started to laugh hysterically, his old face back on when no one was paying much attention. "Hahahahahaha! Well, isn't this an interesting turn of events, Sensei! It seems as if your help was not enough… though that was to be expected, considering he was fighting two immortal Hokage!"

Sarutobi glared at his student once more as he eyed his returned masters… before he heard something and smirked to himself. "… It seems you are mistaken about something once again, Orochimaru…" The old man chuckled to himself and getting a curious look from his foe. "Listen…"

Orochimaru frowned as he stilled his tongue to figure out what his teacher was talking about, not once taking his eyes off of his teacher. It didn't take him long to figure out what the third was talking about. "…zzzzz, snort… oooh, yeah… right there…. Now a little to the left zzzzz…. Sniff… why am I so oldzzzzzzzz…." Everyone listening… including Orochimaru sweatdropped. "Snort. Damn it, Shadow… stop setting me on firezzzzz…"

The Sannin hissed angrily. "That old fool is asleep?" He turned to look at his slaves. "I thought I told you to kill hi-!" The snake man had to jump away suddenly in order to dodge the massive amounts of tree branches and water jets that would have butchered him if he stayed there a second later. "WHAT?" He roared angrily.

"Heh, this brings back old memories, doesn't it, brother?" Tobirama asked as he and Hashirama jumped back to stand along a grinning Sarutobi.

"Indeed." Hashirama agreed as he landed and looked at his elderly student. "Despite being so old, you managed to hold up pretty well this time around, Saru."

"I'll take that as a compliment…" Hiruzen grumbled irritably. "I am surprised that you two remembered what happened last time, though. It was certainly unexpected."

"Care to tell us what happened then, or is it too long?" The Second Hokage asked curiously.

"The latter." The smirking Hokage grinned. "I assume Waltz-san managed to get rid of seals controlling you and save the children you were possessing?"

The resurrected men's faces dropped momentarily. "Yes and no." The First replied. "He freed us from the seals and managed to recover both of the children from our bodies in time…"

"But the boy that brother was possessing had apparently suffered severe blood loss before the jutsu started. He was brain dead before he was even used for the technique." Tobirama growled angrily before calming down. "The girl that was inside me is doing just fine, though."

"How, though?" Hissed the angry Sannin as he made his way to the three again. "How is it possible for you two to still be around if your mediums are not there to provide you with life chakra?"

The resurrected men grinned and turned to Waltz, who had woken up and was in the middle of getting back onto his feet. "That old timer is something else…" Hashirama laughed in a light tone. "I never would have guessed that there was a person in existence whose entire chakra reserves were naturally life chakra…"

Orochimaru's eyes widened in shock. "W… what? That's impossible!"

"Yeah… we get that a lot…" Waltz grumbled as he turned around and revealed the Sound genin that was known as Kin in one of his arms with his walking stick, while the other hand was on her stomach now and glowing with a white light. "In order to get the kids out, I gave those two a fair amount of my chakra to run on until the technique wears off." He grinned. "It looks like the technique you stole is biting you in the ass, boy… and in the form of the one who made it, too. Ironic, isn't it?"

"Hah!" Orochimaru laughed as he made a seal. "I have nothing to worry about! Since I summoned them, it is no issue for me to dismiss them too. Kai!" Everyone watching waited in anxiety, expecting the two resurrected Kage to disappear… only to see them laugh instead. "WHAT? You took my technique away from me?" Orochimaru raged, actually getting color in his face for once.

Waltz's hair covered his eyes. "… as he watched mankind commit horrible actions amongst itself, God allowed Himself to shed but one tear in remorse." He pointed to his sword, which was on his back. "My sword, God's Tear, is said to be crafted from that very teardrop. It enables me to cut through that which cannot be cut, and nothing more." His stone blue eyes revealed themselves as he cryptically explained his sword's powers, boring into the souls of everyone looking at him. "I rarely have need or desire to use this weapon… its power is too horrifying to ever think of unleashing even under the direst of circumstances… but… I am only one of two people in existence that it will allow to wield it…"

He stepped forward slowly, causing some of the tiles around him to crack in his presence. "…but the atrocities that you committed forced me to use it…" The air started to grow heavy. "… I am a very forgiving and patient man, Orochimaru. Being a member of my family has proven that… but even I have buttons that should never be pressed." He looked at Kin. "You experiment and play with the minds of innocent children to satisfy your sick greed…" The cold feeling disappeared, but something else, more subtle and massive replaced it. Normal people would not have been able to pick it up, but trained warriors were easily able to tell that the old man was capable of horrifying things. "I don't forgive those that harm children and walk away as if they never existed…" He growled deadly in a quiet voice.

Sarutobi shivered, knowing that it was a message for him too. Ghost had warned him, Jiraiya, and Kakashi that Waltz would be rather cold to them and judge them harshly. Each of them had neglected Naruto in his childhood in many ways. Kakashi and Jiraiya had downright ignored the boy's existence, even though they both knew of the boy's heritage and how he would be treated, using a piss poor excuse in order to try to cover up their behavior. Hiruzen, on the other hand, was in charge of the entire bloody village the boy was living in, yet he only gave the boy a few creature comforts before turning away and looking like he had done a good job helping the boy before bowing down to the 'wrath' of the council when the government there was supposed to be a dictatorship. After the ass kicking Ghost gave each of them, they all agreed that they would try harder to make up for their short comings before trying to form a stronger bond with Naruto again… especially after they heard what Waltz did to the last guy he found that abused children. All three of them doubted that even Orochimaru would be able to hold in his lunch after hearing such a tale.

Orochimaru though, not knowing what sort of monstrosity he was actually staring down, laughed humorously. "Kukuku. God's Tear? An interesting name. I will enjoy looking at your blade after I kill you…"

The old man smirked. "Oh really? Well I'm sorry to disappoint, but I'm not fighting you. That's Hiruzen's job… and he'd better win…" He glanced at the other elderly man before sighing and started to walk away, the Oto genin still in his arms. "… oh… before you begin again… I wanted to know your opinion of something…" He pointed to one of the corners of the barrier. "I want to know what you think of your funeral tune…"

Orochimaru raised an eyebrow as he looked in the direction Waltz was pointing to. "What are you talking about, you old fool? I don't hear anything…"

"Wait…" Tobirama interrupted as his eyes narrowed. "Look…"

Everyone in the barrier looked to see a building about 50 meters away from the corner, where a large cloud of mist was growing rapidly, preventing anyone from seeing what or who was inside.

"Humph…" The Sannin muttered disappointedly. "A cloud of mist? Is that truly the best you can come up with?"

Waltz didn't pay attention as he raised his unoccupied arm out like a music conductor and started to move it slowly. "Let the song of the Feral Gale… be heard…"

Very slowly, the mist began to spin around the roof of the building. The cloud gradually began to pick up speed, narrowing itself into a funnel as a distinct bell-like sound rang throughout the area, making itself known to all that could hear it. Oto, Kumo, Iwa, Taki, Kusa, and Konoha shinobi alike paused to turn and look at what was making such a unique and powerful sound. The mist twister narrowed even more until three distinct shadows could be seen. One was distinctly bigger than the others and was the origin of the mist, which was coming out in enormous quantities, more than enough to hide all three of their identities. The other two could have been mirror images of one another, same height and shape. It was almost comedic how small their sizes were compared to the first. There was only one difference between them, though. One of them was simply standing off to the side. The other was holding up whatever it was that was creating the loud bell-like noise, which was glowing brightly and causing the mist to surround them all so tightly.

Orochimaru momentarily paled. Something deep inside of him was saying that whatever that jutsu was… it was not going to leave him in a good position.

o. o. o.

"Wh… what the hell is THAT?" Karui yelled nervously as she and her team tried to make out what the monstrous jutsu in front of her was. She could literally feel the chakra from all the way where she was… something she was certain only shinobi of her master's caliber could do.

"I… I don't know…" Samui muttered as she grinded her teeth, concerned as to what this new development could mean, steadying her footing as the wind blew strongly past her. "I have never heard of such a technique before…"

"H-hey. We should be all right…" Omoi said hesitantly. "I-I mean, we have Yugito-senpai here with us. If whatever that is comes for us, she should be able to handle it no problem…"

"No… I don't think I can't…" Yugito growled darkly as she eyed the technique, scaring her escorts to no end. "If it feels that powerful from this far away and it's only that big, then there's no way I can defend us all against something like that. Be on your guard. If that thing comes for us, run."

The three chūnin all looked at each other nervously and swallowed heavily.

o. o. o.

"Oho? What's this?" Ōnoki chuckled darkly as he observed the spinning twister from several buildings away. "Oh Saru, Saru, Saru, you've been holding back some very interesting things from me…"

"Oh man…" Kurotsuchi shivered as she looked at the events unfolding in front of her. "Whoever's using that move has to have some serious chakra reserves…"

Rōshi whistled in amusement. "Wow. I hope whoever's using that monster isn't aiming for us. From the feel of it, even the shit thrower wouldn't be able to take a direct hit without losing something…"

Ōnoki laughed as he remembered Rōshi's nickname for the tailed beast inside of him. "I'll keep that in mind, Rōshi. For now, though, let's watch the show. I have a feeling that the box is their target…"

o. o. o.

Inoichi gaped as he felt the chakra coming off of the nearby building. As the Yamanaka clan head, he was one of the few chakra sensors in the village, so it had taken him very little time to figure out who was making the technique.

"Shikaku!" The blonde man hissed as he ran to his teammate. The first generation Ino-Shika-Cho trio had recently cleared out the area and were waiting for further instructions from Shikamaru at the time, so they weren't worried about any surprise attacks at the moment.

"I'm guessing you know who's making that racket?" The scarred man asked sternly as he also looked at the spiraling twister. "That the mist is probably coming from Zabuza. He's the only one in the village that's good enough at Kirigakure no Jutsu to keep it up for so long… plus, this situation just screams Ōgakari, and right now the rest of the clan is busy in the arena."

Inoichi nodded, confirming Zabuza's presence. "Yeah, Zabuza's there… but the one making the jutsu is, well…"

Shikaku raised an eyebrow. "Did my wife catch your tongue or something? Out with it already…"

Inoichi took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's Naruto…" He whispered softly in case anyone was listening. "Even more, I recognize the way his chakra is moving. There's only one jutsu that forces chakra to move like that. He's using the Rasengan…"

"Rasengan?" Shikaku hissed, clearly not expecting this development. "How… never mind how, why is he using it now? There's no point in using it from this far away from anything unless…" His eyes narrowed as he quickly put everything he knew about the boy and the technique together and came up with the most likely answer to his question… which soon became the most ridiculous and preposterous one he had ever come across. "Inoichi…" He asked slowly, not taking his eyes off of the twister. "… just tell me… is there wind composed chakra in that maelstrom right now?"

Inoichi looked at his friend in a confused manner before realizing what the Nara was asking him. Sure enough, Inoichi's face gave way to a gape of surprise and shock moments later.

"I thought as much…" The man grumbled irritably as he reached for his radio. "Shikamaru. I know you were aware of what's happening now so let me just ask you once, how much do you know about Naruto?"

There was a seemingly endless period of time where the only thing heard was the sound of the jutsu's ringing in the air as the man waited for a response from his son. Just as Shikaku was about to try using the radio again, there was a response. "…I know enough…"

The father sighed. He wasn't really all that surprised at this point, all things considered, but it wasn't exactly a subject he wanted his son to know of just yet. "… You know we're going to have to tell your mother about this, right?" He asked with a hint of dry humor in his voice.

"… better do it tonight then while the shock of everything else that happened today is still in her system. That way, we can both get off light…" Responded an equally dry voice on the radio.

Shikaku chuckled. "If that doesn't prove you're my kid, I don't know what will." He paused. "… I assume that your friend's actions are to be kept quiet…"

"Considering who's here… obviously." Shikamaru replied bluntly. "Anyways, hold your position and keep the area clear for civilians. I'll inform you when I need you to go somewhere else."

"Aren't you going to wish your old man luck?" Shikaku asked mockingly.

"Nah. Too troublesome." Chuckled the masked voice before the radio went silent.

"Troublesome brat…" Smirked Shikaku.

o. o. o.

Zabuza chuckled darkly as he continued to pump out mist by the gallons from the seal on his sword. One of the major benefits to his upgraded weapon in his opinion was the water storage seal on the pommel. He could access the near limitless amounts of water in it as if it was lying right next to him, and the seal itself absorbed moisture from the atmosphere when it wasn't being used. This trait alone made his assassination missions much, MUCH easier to accomplish now that he had his own major source of water with him at all times. However the seal didn't stop there. In addition to gathering up water, the seal also constantly sapped a tiny amount of Zabuza's chakra while he wore the sword and infused it with the water, allowing him to use the water for his jutsu with incredible efficiency. It also allowed him to use less chakra for the large water techniques in his arsenal.

Right now, though, he was just giddy about watching the brat's technique in action. Ever since he learned that the blonde had actually managed to complete the Rasengan, he had been itching to see it blow something up, preferably something big or valuable. S-ranked techniques were a rarity in the shinobi world. They existed here and there, sure, but finding someone that had the reserves or the skill to pull them off was almost as hard as learning one. Then there was the small issue that most S-ranked techniques were forbidden, either because it killed the user or it just caused so much destruction that no one used it unless it was a last resort. The bottom line, seeing an S-ranked technique in action, even for an experienced shinobi like himself, was about as common as coming across Kisame posing in front of a mirror in his starfish boxers.

The shark man does it… Zabuza has the pictures… it's just that he sure as hell makes sure that the bathroom door is closed and locked when he does.

Regardless, this was going to be the peak of Zabuza's day, and judging from the grin on Naruto's face, the brat knew it too. "Hey kid. You done making that monster yet?"

Naruto chuckled. "Dunno. You look like you're having so much fun blowing out smoke, Zabuza."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny." The swordsman replied sarcastically. "I take it that since your clone stepped away from you, it's done…"

Naruto's yellow sage eyes glowed as he focused on his target, the northwest corner of the barrier that is holding the Hokage and Orochimaru. Zooming in, he saw the one casting the barrier, the Sound Four's spider user, Kidōmaru, staring back at him curiously with a hint of anxiety. Good, his target was still there and unaware of how much shit he was in.

Kidōmaru was one of the main targets that absolutely had to be taken down during the invasion. His incredibly wide range of web based ninjutsu was the single most dangerous skill in the original Sound Four with its ability to trap and ensnare multiple shinobi at once and its immensely difficult to deal with webbing. Ghost had made a point that if Kidōmaru had not been involved in Sasuke's escape… or when Orochimaru escaped at the end of the invasion, things would have turned out completely different than what they originally did. That teen was not allowed to spin another inch of webbing, and it was Naruto's job to make it so.

Naruto smiled sadly. "Sorry to do this, man, but you joined the wrong side…." The boy took in a deep breath and positioned his body to throw. "Wind Style: Rasenshuriken…"

The ringing disc went flying as it tore out of the twister at incredible speeds. Many gaped at it as they realized that what they were watching was something made out of pure concentrated chakra instead of using stone, fire, or another element as a medium. Others gaped because they recognized what the ball was inside the middle of the disc. Though Rasengan was a moderately well-known technique, few people had actually seen it in action… or knew what it looked like at all.

None of this mattered to Kidōmaru, however, as the disc traveled rapidly towards him. He was more concerned about his current position. "Heh… there's no way a technique like that can break through this barrier…" He chuckled nervously as he pumped more chakra into it just to be safe. "This should be an interesting game… though it will be obvious that I'll win!"

The Shishi Enjin (Trans: Four Violet Flames Barrier) itself was an interesting example of barrier ninjutsu. Though it is labelled as a B-ranked technique, that is only because it is rather easy to perform for the individuals making it. It _requires_ 4 individuals to actually perform it, and as such the chakra drain is also not that taxing. In terms of effectiveness and efficiency, however, the technique could easily be compared to a possible S-ranked jutsu. Because it requires 4 individuals to make, the balance of potent chakra is evenly distributed between all of them and entwined, reinforcing the defensive capabilities of the barrier such that it is almost literally impossible to break through when performed by experienced shinobi. Orochimaru can even attest to the durability of the technique, as he has even used some of his more powerful summons (excluding Manda, of course) against the barrier to ensure that no one would interrupt his fight with his aged teacher. What this meant was that a technique specifically designed to destroy barrier techniques, a specially created barrier cancelling seal, or an unimaginably powerful ninjutsu were the only things that could manage to break through the purple wall.

Naruto, of course, had access to the third option, and that was what he used just now.

The spinning disc collided with the barrier with enormous impact, causing an even louder ringing sound to echo throughout the village. The corner of the barrier wavered as the disc tore into it savagely, spraying flaming pockets of air as it spun, slowly progressing forward to the shocked Kidōmaru, who was straining to push the monster back with all the chakra he had. The battle between the barrier wall and chakra disk raged for what seemed like hours when it was only about a minute, tops. Surprisingly enough though, at the end, the technique stopped progressing several inches away from Kidōmaru. It was still spinning, but its motion had been halted.

"Ha…HAH!" The boy shouted with sweat on his face. "Is that the best you got? I beat your stupid technique easily! That was nothing!"

Naruto smirked as he stood inside the mist with Zabuza. He responded by lazily lifting his right hand up and snapping his fingers.

The result was instantaneous. The moment Naruto gave the command, the disc expanded threefold and the sphere in the middle grew just as large, tearing apart the seal like paper maché and cutting into the shocked killer just as easily. The sound of the technique grew with its size, almost as if to express its intense rage as it spun rapidly, blowing intense winds in every direction for over a hundred meters. Moments later, the blades of the disc disappeared into the air, leaving the giant pulsing core of the technique left, which then blew up with incredible power. The corner of the building that Kidōmaru was closest to gave way under the pressure of the technique's wrath.

Soon enough, the Shishi Enjin started to disappear. Having lost one of its four supporting pillars, the technique faded, exposing the remaining three members of the Sound Four to the waiting ANBU who had been moved in by Shikamaru just before the attack happened.

What was unsettling to many, though, was that when the purple barrier disappeared, a crystal blue barrier was revealed to be underneath it, formed out of hexagonal shaped pieces of unknown material molded to the inside of the first barrier, and clearly not related to any jutsu that Orochimaru's men had access to judging by their looks of surprise. That barrier, too, had been opened where Kidōmaru once stood, but unlike the purple barrier, it remained standing. In fact, the barrier was repairing itself as the spectators watched…

Before anyone could stop gaping at the destructive power of the technique though, the ones who had helped perform it had already disappeared.

o. o. o.

"Hmmm… well, isn't that a surprise…" Waltz mused curiously as Orochimaru seethed angrily and watched as his strongest minions were captured. "I knew the technique was strong… but to be able to do that much damage to my barrier as well is truly impressive…"

"What is the meaning of this?!" Orochimaru roared in a rage as he glared at Sarutobi and Waltz. "There is no way you could have managed to guess what my strategies were. You even managed to counter my Edo Tensei even when no one should know that I had learned it yet! How?"

Waltz simply chuckled and reached into his pocket, enjoying the Sannin's frustration… and took out a very familiar ring. "Hey, Orochimaru… you may already know this… but dogs have a habit of eating the strangest things…"

The Sannin stared in shock and disbelief as he gazed upon his Akatsuki ring once again. "… my ring? But… how… unless… that wolf…"

Waltz flicked the ring into the air lazily before catching it again. "You know, computers are very useful, but if a hacker gets into your system, you can say goodbye to your privacy and information…" He chuckled lightly as Orochimaru's face paled even more. "It's very impressive how you managed to navigate all of your forces the way you did… though I did find your opinion on some of your loyal minions slightly… immature…" He grinned darkly as Orochimaru squirmed. By this time, the hole in his barrier that Naruto had made had been fully repaired. "Oh, the laughs we had reading some of your dark, embarrassing secrets. I'm surprised you kept so many to yourself… so my family and I took the liberty of sending a few of to every shinobi village in the Elemental Nations… and a few major publishing companies, of course… who knew that the Sannin Orochimaru was afraid of perusing a relationship because he feared having a relationship similar to his teammate's, Jiraiya and Tsunade?" The old man's gaze hardened again. "You will not leave this barrier alive, Orochimaru. This place shall be your tomb. Fall like the desperate trash you are…" He looked at all three Hokage. "He's all yours…"

Orochimaru started to laugh as his foes converged on him. "Heh… heheheh…heheHAHAHAHAHAHA! Do you old fools truly think you can defeat ME?"

"It looks like he's snapped, Saru…" The First warned. "Be careful! We have no idea what he could do right now!"

"I am the one who will uncover the secrets of all ninjutsu!" The Sannin roared insanely as he cut his thumbs. "I cannot be stopped here! Summoning!" Within seconds, a massive cloud of smoke emerged in the arena, revealing an enormous purple snake. Its entire body was so long that it had to coil itself several times to fit inside the rather large fighting grounds. "Manda! I have brought you a village worth of sacrifices! Feast!" The Man roared hysterically before he turned to his teacher's group. "And for you, Sensei… I have something very special!" Suddenly Orochimaru's body warped upon itself, growing and splitting repeatedly in a white hissing blob, forcing the foundations of the building to strain underneath the weight of the large mass.

"Hashirama-sensei! There are civilians in the stands below us!" Sarutobi howled frantically.

"Got it!" The First replied, quickly making several quick seals, causing massive trunks of trees to grow out of the building and supplement the supports enough to handle the new weight.

o. o. o.

In the Arena:

" **Oh? You are using the 8 Branches Technique, Orochimaru?"** Manda hissed curiously as he watched his summoner transform. **"Humph. It is none of my business what you do… as long as I have my meal…** " The massive snake turned to the sleeping audience and stuck out its tongue hungrily just before striking at the crowd and shocked shinobi still in the stands… only to be blocked by a glowing, blood red barrier that momentarily encircled the arena battle grounds. **"What foolish mockery is thissss?"** The snake boss cursed angrily.

"Rule number 82 when dealing with overpowered insane scientist types." Chuckled Ghost as he stood on top of Manda's head. "If you encounter one in the middle of a crowded city, always make sure to plant massive defensive precautions and traps in the most crowded areas, especially if you are foiling one of their master plans. Odds are, if you corner the enemy too much, they'll try to pull a fast one on the general populace in order to unnerve their opponents and create as much chaos as possible."

"Did you honestly think we wouldn't set up a protection barrier here strong enough for situations like these when we knew the holder of the snake summoning contract was going to be here?" Scabbard asked in a condescending tone from one end of the arena. If anyone bothered to pay attention to the area around him, they would notice a smoking and burnt black carcass stuck to the arena wall nearby.

"I wonder if Gamabunta will pay us if we give him a wallet made of your skin?" Shadow mused curiously while standing on a section of Manda's body. "… Now that I think about it, why the hell would Gamabunta need a wallet in the first place? What the hell would he stick in that huge ass thing? … By the way, good job on the enclosure barrier, Crypt!"

"Heheheh…" Crypt chuckled darkly as he stood on the ground near Manda's tail. "Another good fight just as I finished the last one. Today's a good day."

" **Indeed, Crypt…"** Zuzushi said hungrily as she looked at Manda and licked her lips. **"Today is indeed a day made for hunting…"**

" **How dare you make a mockery out of ME!"** Manda hissed angrily as he whipped his head up, launching Ghost into the air and opened his mouth to consume the offender.

As if Manda had given the start command, all of the Ōgakari clan in the stadium moved as one. Ghost swung his arms around and opened his hands, revealing his blades connected to his arms by incredible lengths of black chains. Whipping his arms expertly, the man latched a blade on each end of the serpent's mouth before spiraling the links connected to its bottom jaw and pulling down on the links connected to the upper jaw. Wooting like an adolescent teenager, the man pulled himself back to the top of Manda's nose as he closed his mouth while the spiraling chain connected to the bottom jaw looped around the summon's entire jaw, tightening instantly and keeping the monster's mouth shut.

For the rest of the battle, Ghost would be laughing, screaming, and holding on for dear life on top of Manda's head like a drunk and very suicidal rodeo clown.

While Ghost was ensuring that Manda's mouth was shut, Shadow and Scabbard were busy ensuring that Manda couldn't squirm and cause any unnecessary damage to the surroundings. He couldn't escape the seal barrier that Crypt had made, but he could still make damn big tremors.

Shadow tapped into the darkness that lay underneath the giant snake and in the naturally forming shade of the arena walls to create massive black dragon-shaped claws that shot out and pinned the body of the equally massive beast down with crushing force. The woman laughed as she dodged the debris that the rest of her victim's body kicked up, enjoying every moment of the action.

Scabbard in the meantime forced his parasite metal into the ground and used his extremely vast knowledge of molecular structure and electron manipulation to create more metal for him to use from the earth and rapidly repeated the process. Within seconds, thousands of incredibly thick, electrically-charged metal spikes shot up from the ground underneath Manda and pierced his tough scales almost too easily, constantly pushing into the long and powerful body, restricting the body even more as the electricity paralyzed his muscles and the metal sunk into critical muscle areas. In less than 15 seconds, the snake boss Manda had been rendered completely immobile.

Crypt, on the other hand, went completely on the offensive. Jumping high into the air, the insane man laughed loudly just as the unrestrained part of Manda's body passed by him, and he latched onto it with his scythe. He then tore his way back down to the ground, making one enormously large gash on the snake's body with his scythe and spilling large amounts of blood everywhere as he ran down the twisting and writhing path in front of him. When he had reached the ground, he simply repeated the process all over again… though occasionally he did get hit or crushed by the serpent's flailing. The attacks didn't do that much damage to Manda, seeing as the snake's size was significantly larger than the man or his weapon, but it did do two important things. It caused the snake even more pain, distracting it from everything else around it, and it created an opening in its hide for Zuzushi to do her job.

Once Crypt had finished his first tear, Zuzushi flew towards the unfortunate beast and, after a few attempts to land on the constantly moving beast, latched onto a section of hide that had been slashed through. She then began to tear into the opening like the ferocious animal she is, biting and clawing out chunks of meat and bone alike in a hungry craze, not once stopping until she had created a hole that was big enough for her to fit into…

And then she unleashed all hell into the opening in the form of a massive energy blast similar to the one that took out most of Orochimaru's assailants. The explosion of muscles, bones, and fluids was certainly noticed by Manda, as a noticeable chunk of his long body was literally blown off him in a more than gruesome way as the perpetrator herself flew backwards in the air with a triumphant battle cry. The hole in the snake had grown from the size of a horse to the size of a small building. The victim of the assault roared to the heavens in sheer pain, unaware that the process was already being repeated on another part of his body.

Three additional missing large body sections later, Manda was noticeably weakened, to the point where he could not lift his head off the ground anymore… much to Ghost's delight, who was suffering from an extreme case of motion sickness and whiplash from staying on his head the entire time.

" **Orochimaru, you bastard! I will remember this! Should you ever summon me again, I will eat you with no hesitation!"** The snake boss swore angrily before he exploded in a cloud of smoke… only to remain after said cloud disappeared. **"WHAT?"**

"Oh no, no, no. You're not getting away that easily, Manda-san…" Chuckled Ghost as he turned/swayed/stumbled around and looked into the beast's shocked and infuriated eyes. "… Not after all the trouble we went through to keep you still so you could listen. After all, I have some business I want to discuss with you first… and I won't let you leave until I have an answer…"

o. o. o.

With the Hokage and Orochimaru:

"Well… isn't this interesting…" Hashirama mused as he looked at the massive 8 headed, 8 tailed monster in front of him. Its size was immense, easily spanning the width of the barrier. Fortunately though, the barrier seemed to hold up incredibly well, pinning the creature's body where it was. "I gotta say Saru, you trained yourself one hell of a student. I'd say this fight will be right up there with my death match against Madara and the Kyūbi… though with you two here helping me out, I think this fight might actually be too easy…"

"It wasn't as much of a death match as you might have thought, Sensei…" Sarutobi growled as he readied Enma once more.

"Hahahahaha!" Orochimaru laughed hysterically from one of the mouths of the snakes. "Now I will destroy not only this pathetic village, but three of its most powerful warriors as well! Your childish will of fire will not have any effect on the outcome of this battle! I have already won!"

"Save the small stuff for later…" Tobirama growled as the 8 headed snake lunged at them. "Brother, I believe you have the first move."

"Right!" The first nodded as he clasped his hands together. "Wood Style! Great Forest Technique!" He shouted, lunging forward. Instantly, all the foliage in the barrier burst to life as countless branches and plants shot forward to ensnare the offending heads, acting as a giant wall of foliage that rivaled its opponent in size. They worked just as they intended as the white heads initially charged through the dense wood, then attempted to evade through the path of least resistance to their targets before realizing that they were all completely held in place. While each head was incredibly powerful, they could not overwhelm the cumulative strength of the countless plants wrapped around them. "Tobi! Saru! You're up! Make it quick, he's stronger than he looks, and that's saying something!" The First roared as he held the giant monstrosity in place.

"Right!" The two yelled as they went off to take down the heads of the beast.

"You pathetic old men!" Orochimaru raged as he struggled against his bonds, slashing at the branches with his Kusanagi in hand. "Do you truly think this pathetic technique can hold me?"

"Does it matter? It's doing its job pretty damn well right now, and that's all that counts! Water Style: Pressure Jet Stream!" The Second shouted as he finished making seals and inhaling. The proclaimed master of water jutsu exhaled, forcing an incredibly fast and powerful stream of water out of his mouth and sliced through two of the heads in one movement with little to no resistance. He cut down the other two with the return sweep of his head. All of them fell in a bloody heap almost instantly.

"Fire Style!" The god of shinobi roared as he peaked his chakra and aimed at the hissing heads in front of him. "Helix Bombs!" The man shot out several dozen glowing dark yellow spheres that lazily flew through the air until they were in the perfect area before they detonated with incredible power, creating a massive flaming twister not unlike the one Naruto and Sasuke had created earlier that day, yet still seemingly even more destructive and powerful. All 4 of the heads were incinerated to ash in an instant.

The first whistled in an impressed tone. "Not bad, Saru. For an old geezer, you still have some kick to you."

"Don't stop!" Hiruzen yelled seriously as he glared at the remains of the giant snake. "Orochimaru is exceptional at figuring out ways to survive bad situations and sneak away when our guard is down! Leave not one inch of this area unscathed!"

Hashirama looked at Sarutobi in a surprised manner before he frowned again and started to form some more seals. "If you say so, Saru… you know him best after all… Wood Style! Hidden Art! Overgrowth Assimilation!"

The entire forest in the barrier started to move as if it was one entity… no, more like a hive mentality. The branches, tress, roots all moved forward and intermingled among the devastation, latching onto anything they touched and draining any nutrients they could find with unnatural speed for plants. It did not take long for the plants to reach the body of the now dead snake and its heads and start sucking materials from them, too. The creaking noise of bark and wood rubbing against one another echoed throughout the area in a very intimidating manner, grasping for any form of nutrition available in the specified area.

Just as Sarutobi expected, though, there was still movement where the massive body lay as a large white snake burst out of the body of the 8 headed monster. Its head greatly resembled Orochimaru's, as it had long black hair, its scales were comprised of many white snakes, and its mouth was full of poisonous fangs. "How dare you!" It hissed as it charged forward, trying to escape the entangling roots and vines that were constantly draining him of his chakra and energy. "I am to be immortal! I am the one that is supposed to understand all! I cannot be defeated here! I will not allow myself to be defeated by two dead men and an old man!"

"That is not your call to make, Orochimaru…" The Third said gravely as he walked forward towards his ensnared and dying student. "… Look at what you have done to yourself. If this is the price you paid to try to achieve immortality, then I am glad I chose to live content as a mortal. I have nothing more to say to you. You are no longer my student, and you have shamed yourself and me for the last time." He turned to his own teachers with a hardened look. "The most I will give you now is an adequate funeral pyre…"

The two resurrected men nodded as they formed seals.

"Wood Style: Thirst of Drought." The First Hokage chanted as he clasped his hands together. Orochimaru screamed in pain as the plants around him began to suck up any and all moisture they were latched onto. Though they were still strong, the plants themselves also began to whither as well as if to show how thirsty they were. The giant body behind the traitor shriveled until only bones remained. Orochimaru's already diminished body began to shrink too. The snake scales started to die and fall off of him, and his hair grew grey and dry.

"Y-You will regret thissss…" Orochimaru growled feebly with rage.

"I doubt it." Tobirama frowned. "Hashirama and I are already dead, and no one else knows my technique. Water Style: Black River." The Second Hokage spewed black liquid all over the area in front of him, completely drenching the traitor in what was soon to be identified as pure oil.

"I… I will not forget this day… Sssensssei…" The giant snake growled angrily as it stared at the Third Hokage.

Sarutobi let one tear fall from his eyes as he formed the seals that would finish the battle. "I thought I told you, monster… I am not your Sensei."

Orochimaru's eyes widened as he saw for the first time in years the thing that made him originally fear and respect the proclaimed God of Shinobi. The stern and unwavering fire that promised to destroy any and all that would threaten that which its bearer held dear. For the first time in many years… Orochimaru felt true fear. Itachi humbled him… but even the power of the Mangekyō Sharingan could not spark this insecurity within the Sannin. It was then that he remembered one of the reasons why he had aimed for the old man's head in the first place. He was enraged that he was not picked to be the Fourth and wanted revenge… but more than that… deep down, he had always been terrified of his teacher and what he represented…

"Fire Style: Final Desecration!"

In a single moment, half of the area inside the barrier erupted in flames. The technique, which was designed to incinerate everything in its area of effect, was magnified tremendously by the oil and the dry tinder in the area. The fire was so intense that Orochimaru's final screams were not even close to being heard over the roar of the inferno.

The fire shone and captured the attention of everyone inside the village, serving as a beacon to all who laid eyes on it. To those who knew what was happening inside the barrier, the message was as clear as the power of the fire inside of it.

Orochimaru was dead.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Not bad for being written in a week, eh? I'm fairly certain that the invasion will be finished by the end of the next chapter… not so sure about the aftermath.

Ugh. The fighting parts are finally over sort of! Finally!

I noticed that some people are a bit miffed that Sakura is a bit overpowered in this fic. I disagree for various reasons.

She has her memory back, so she has years of experience over almost everyone in her age group.

Her younger self got along with Naruto this time around, so she was more likely to gain more of his traits and obscure way of thinking while she was at an influential age. This helped when she got her memory back and enhanced her planning abilities.

She received motivation to work harder much earlier than in the cannon series and was taught by Kurenai in genjutsu, which opened up an entire range of possibilities for her. Mix genjutsu with Naruto's brand of trickery, and the end result is obvious.

It should be noted that Sakura's stamina is still relatively low and her natural strength is also around that level. She can only perform a few illusions before her reserves run out. It is only because of her absurd control that she can last so long in actual fights with the tactics that she employs.

Blah. Anyways, sorry to anyone who was expecting Naruto to use a different attack or something new, but seriously I don't think I could have been more obvious with what was going to happen.

SO 73 more reviews until the 1k mark. I'm actually doing some stretches for when I do the 1k dance… which isn't really much of a dance as it is me laughing maniacally and running around my home with my arms in the air. Keep it up my friends! We (and by that I mean me of course) are almost there!

Review! Worship the Log (He will come back soon. I promise!)! Laugh! Enjoy the Summer! Review again! Oh, and good luck to all in finding a decent summer job! Lord knows we all need it!


	44. not as epic fighting as last chapter, but still pretty damn good… this is the end of it, I swear. Also, ¾ of this chapter was written as I was dancing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 44: … not as epic fighting as last chapter, but still pretty damn good… this is the end of it, I swear. Also, ¾ of this chapter was written as I was dancing.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Fū whistled to herself in an amused tone as she watched the fire blaze intensely from the audience. She had been working with a pair of Konoha special jōnin on taking down the Oto shinobi inside of the arena. One of them chewed on a senbon and wore his bandanna on his head backwards, which in her opinion made him look like a complete girl. The other wore his bandanna normally and was pretty good at kenjutsu. "Damn. For an old fart, he's pretty damn good."

"Of course he is!" Hayate replied defiantly. "He's our Hokage. He's world renowned as the God of Shinobi! Being old won't make him any less dangerous."

"Oi Hayate, calm down a bit." Genma chuckled. "It's only natural for her to be a bit skeptical. I mean, even you have to admit that Hokage-sama is getting up there in years now." He turned to Fū. "Sorry about that. Hayate's been… more energetic and enthusiastic about things since he was healed of his lung disease a month ago. Before that, he couldn't finish a sentence without coughing…"

"I heard that, Genma." Hayate growled as he looked around. "The fighting is lessening a bit. I'm guessing the Oto shinobi lost their will to fight after what just happened."

Fū chuckled. "You're going to have to be more specific. Was it when that crazy ass clan started fighting those monsters, or was it when that dragon fell from the sky? Maybe it was when that mystery bastard showed up and destroyed the barrier with that ridiculous technique of his… or are you talking about right now, when that both giant snake… thing got skinned alive in front of everyone?"

Genma and Hayate looked at each other before facing Fū again and shrugging. "Eh. Odds are it's a bit of everything. You're bound to see a bunch of things during war battles… but this one is definitely among obscure I've ever heard of… though I do think that Jiraiya-sama has a few that could possibly top this." Genma sighed.

"Hey… look…" The cured swordsman said as he pointed to where the Hokage was fighting moments before. The other two turned to see the crystal blue barrier on top of the building shifting and melting on itself before shooting up in the air and seamlessly transforming into a massive torrent of water. The torrent spun rapidly in the sky before arcing downwards again and disappearing out of view right next to the still raging fire. Seconds later, someone stepped forward with a massive staff in hand. Shinobi could easily see it was the Third, but the staff made it perfectly clear.

"Shinobi of Oto! Lay down your arms!" The old man roared out with authority. "Orochimaru is dead! Your leader is slain, and your cause is lost! Surrender now or forfeit your lives!"

Cries of victory and defeat echoed everywhere as the fighting quickly turned in favor of the defending village. In less than an hour the Oto forces had gone from offensive to defensive. In the same time frame, more than 1/3 of the remaining forces had been killed or captured throughout the village due to being caught off guard by the overwhelming numbers or Suna's double back stabbing. Surprisingly enough, many of the Oto shinobi laid down their arms and started to weep for joy as well… though they were still in the minority compared to many of their allies.

Before they knew it, the Ōgakari's dragon was flying above the stands and giving off a victory roar with the rest of the shinobi there. The giant horned snake boss Manda moments later grumbled something with disdain before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. The gas cleared to see the arena empty and the red barrier surrounding it gone as well.

"You guys sure have one hell of a village…" Fū chuckled as she shifted the giant red Scroll on her back to a more comfortable position. "Too bad I belong to Taki. Maybe I can ask that old geezer of yours if I can be a diplomat or something…"

Genma shrugged. "Who knows? I've heard that relations between us and Taki have been a bit strained lately. Maybe with how things ended up today you can convince the Hokage to make an opening for you. You're pretty good at fighting and you get along with us pretty well. What do you think, Hayate?"

"Please stop." Fū mock blushed. "A girl can only take so much flattery…"

The swordsman snorted. "I already have a girlfriend, thank you very much, and she's an ANBU to boot. There's no way in hell you'll catch me cheating on her." He sighed as he looked at Fū. Despite being cured, he still had the deep bags underneath his eyes. "… but otherwise… I don't see much issue with you being a diplomat. I was originally going to be the proctor for the third exam, so I can put in a good word in for you if you need me to…"

"Whoah!" Fū yelped as she and the other two managed to dodge some flying kunai thrown by some very frantic Oto shinobi. "Looks like some of these guys don't know when to give up! We'll talk later! First, let's kill the rest of these dumbasses off…"

o. o. o.

With the Kage:

Hashirama sighed as he looked at Konoha for the first time in decades while the fire near him still burned brightly. "You know, the village looks pretty good despite it being under attack… though I never thought I would have laid eyes on it again after dying."

"Indeed." Tobirama agreed as he stepped next to his brother. "It's relieving to see the village doing so well so long after we have passed on…"

"You have no idea how much of a pain it was to do so at times…" Sarutobi growled with dry humor as he stepped to the First's other side. "I've been Hokage longer than both of you two combined. If things don't end up well, this could start the Fourth Great Shinobi War…"

Hashirama chuckled. "So, you've lived through three wars already, Saru? Not bad. I knew you would end up being a great shinobi one day…" His face evened out moments later. "Now onto more important matters. Is the grand master plan still in motion?"

The Third nodded in a zombie like motion. "Yes, my master. The Log's claim on the minds of our people is nearly absolute. Within several generations, we will be in position and ready to move onto stage three of our plan to claim the world in the name of the Log."

"All hail that who sacrifices itself on our behalf for all time. The selfless deity of the forest. All hail the Log." The three chanted in a brainwashed fashion.

"You three are very fortunate that I am well practiced in forgetting concerning moments like these." Waltz sweatdropped as he walked over to the three with an unconscious Kin in one arm and his walking staff in the other.

"What are you talking about, Waltz-san?" Sarutobi asked curiously, as if he had no idea what just happened.

"Very… very well practiced…" Waltz sighed as he dropped his head and cried anime tears.

"Waltz… correct? I want to thank you for breaking us out of the control of that deranged man and saving the lives of the children that we were possessing." Tobirama said gratefully.

"I am curious…" Hashirama asked inquisitively. "When you fought us, you managed to trap us with the plants that I created and took control away from me. How did you do that?"

Sarutobi's eyes widened. "You can control plants as well as water?"

The old man chuckled gently and raised his staff. "You truly didn't think that this staff here was only for helping me walk long distances and make me look older, did you, Hiruzen? Not after you spent so much time with my rather unique family." The Third stared at the man in shock as the leaves growing out of the stick momentarily glowed florescent green. "This staff is actually a piece of an extraordinarily powerful spirit tree; one that you could say governs the lives and growth patterns of several worlds' worth of plants. It was given to me by a council of other plant deities that believed that I was patient, wise, and stern enough, although my natural affinities to life and water also somewhat helped, to provide occasional valuable insight on human interactions… though I do wish they'd gave me a better title than Elder Pale Bark… anyways, long story short, this staff enables me to control plants much like your Wood Release does. Though I am unable to produce my own plants, I am able to influence their growth and their movements with absolute authority… though there are a few exceptions to that rule…"

"I see… so that explains why you told brother to generate many plants to separate our fights when you pinned us down before you freed us…" Tobirama mused, remembering at the beginning of the fight when the old man had pinned both men down by the necks and whispered in their ears. "… and you had yourself and me generate that large amount of water to make that barrier that trapped Orochimaru…"

The old man nodded. "Indeed. I did not know if you two would comply, but the moment we separated and you immediately made the seal for the Suiryūdan technique, I knew that I had gotten through. Otherwise, I would have had to draw out the fights until enough plants and water was generated to control them and not draw attention to myself."

The first stepped up. "Once again, I thank you very much for freeing us from the man's technique… but without a body to inhabit, I must wonder how long it will be until the jutsu ends…"

Waltz sighed. "That… I don't know. I know for a fact that you should last at least another half a day with the amount of life chakra I have given both of you, less if you decide to continue fighting the remaining forces… and constantly restoring your reserves is too much of a task for me to accomplish. You two are dead men. Giving or maintaining life to the departed is an extremely taxing art, even for those who are well practiced in it. However… I don't know the duration of the technique that brought you two here in the first place, so I cannot be certain…" He turned to Tobirama.

"At the most, this jutsu was made to last for a day." The Second said bluntly, ashamed of his forbidden creation. "Most shinobi battles don't last that long, and this jutsu was designed to be used as a last resort for obvious reasons…"

"Hokage-sama!" Yelled several ANBU as they landed near the four men. "Are you okay? Do you require medical assistance?"

The Third laughed as the men took notice of his current company. "No… no, I am quite fine. If I required any aid, I am sure that Ōgakari-dono here would have already started treating me by now, seeing as he is currently the village's top medical shinobi… regardless of my condition though, report on the current status on the village."

The men nodded as they bowed down. "Since the beginning of the invasion, we have managed to contain the damage and casualties to a minimum. Two large snake summons breached the eastern side of the village and caused reasonable damage to area, however they were recently defeated: one by Jiraiya-sama of the Sannin, and the other by a combined effort of Anko Mitarashi and Hana Inuzuka. Jiraiya-sama is still unaccounted for, but the kunoichi mentioned are still on the frontline fighting the enemy forces. As for here, the damages were also somehow contained successfully by our forces combined efforts. There were some civilian casualties, seeing as the arena was full, but many of the shinobi here were caught off guard by the fighting in the center of the arena and your battle…" The men were momentarily distracted as they noticed that Manda's body had disappeared. "… erm… regardless, the enemies' morale has taken a massive hit over the course of the invasion, and we have estimated that over a third of their forces are either captured or killed."

The Third Hokage nodded as Enma transformed back into his normal form and walked next to his master. "What of Orochimaru's elite guards? The young ones that were performing the barrier ninjutsu?"

The ANBU didn't look up. "As soon as their technique was destroyed, our men converged as instructed, a full squad per individual. They resisted and demonstrated several unique and obscure techniques, at one point each transforming into monsters. Two of them, a large young man with a mohawk and a young girl with red hair, were quickly apprehended with some… persuasion, however the third one, a young man with silver blue hair and effeminate features, was difficult to apprehend. We were informed of his bloodline limit's ability, and his brother indeed separated from his body soon after we tried to apprehend him, however the squad underestimated the two of them and led to the death of one of the team members. It was then determined that they were too dangerous to capture using nonlethal tactics and we took appropriate measures afterwards… they are still alive, but the damage they sustained is rather extensive…"

"Hmmm." Waltz grumbled in a less than approving manner. "I see. It is unfortunate you had to resort to such measures on ones as young as they… regardless, in detail, what is the damage to the village and our allied forces so far?"

The ANBU looked at the aged man momentarily before turning to his leader and getting a nod of approval. "… well… as far as casualties go… we have had numerous reports, but so far, the cumulative dead for all of our allied forces have yet to enter the triple digits due to Scabbard Ōgakari's and his assistant's navigation of our forces. There are also many injured being transported and healed at the hospital, but so far there has been no need to move any patients out of the building to accommodate more serious cases. In terms of collateral damage, much of the eastern area and some of the buildings surrounding the arena have been destroyed, but it is much lighter than what it could have been. Still, there is much activity here and in the eastern area. I presume that soon word of Orochimaru's death will reach the eastern front and the enemy will start to retreat…"

"Where the forces we have stationed setting up traps and picking off the enemy will weaken them even further." The Third finished knowingly. "Until then, I will do my duty as Hokage and continue to fight with my shinobi. Hashirama, Tobirama, will you two join me?"

The dead men nodded. "Anytime, Saru." Tobirama smirked.

Waltz stepped up with a hand glowing. "If that's the case, allow me to give you two some more chakra so you don't turn to dust on us prematurely." He pressed the hand against them one at a time, forcing a bright but gentle light to enter their bodies. "There. That should last you until around midnight as long as you're careful. If you need me, I'll be in the hospital tending to the wounded."

"Your assistance is much welcomed." The First thanked.

The ANBU stepped up and looked at Kin. "What of the girl, Ōgakari-sama? Should we take her to the other prisoners?"

The man shook his head. "This one has undergone an extremely unique trial and must be dealt with in a delicate manner. Keeping her with the other prisoners would be a poor decision. At least one of you will join me to the hospital and keep guard over this one's room while I take care of the other patients. No one is to enter or talk to her without my or Hokage-sama's permission. Understood?"

"Sir!" The ANBU at once.

Tobirama chuckled. "Well, it's good to see that my ANBU project turned out so nicely."

"It is an honor to meet the legendary First and Second Hokage in person…" Bowed the leading ANBU.

Sarutobi chuckled. "If you wish to join us, Tenzo, you have my permission. It would be insulting for me to forbid you from learning from the man whose powers you have obtained…" He turned to the first and whispered. "He was experimented on by Orochimaru as a child with your genes. He has obtained the Wood style, but he is not as proficient at it as you are…"

The first's eyes widened in surprise as the ANBU bowed deeper. "Th-thank you Hokage-sama!"

Hiruzen turned to the rest of the ANBU in front of him. "Spread the word that Orochimaru has fallen and aid your fellow shinobi! Let Oto know that its cause is lost! Let them know that our will of fire burns brighter than ever!"

"YES HOKAGE-SAMA!" The ANBU chanted as one before everyone on the roof jumped to their destinations…

o. o. o.

Hinata panted as she and the rest of her team met up in the middle of the north-eastern section of the village. "I see everyone is still here… report…"

"Geez, what happened to you two?" Temari asked curiously as she noted the scratches and bruises covering Hinata and her brother. She counted the clones that were with them. "You used up one of your clones…"

"One of the people inside the buildings was an Oto shinobi…" Grumbled Kankurō as he tried to move one of his arms. "The guy was good at traps and we barely managed to escape that building of death thanks to one of the clones blowing itself up and opening a hole on the building. We managed to take him out later with Crow disguised as girly here before she and the last clone ambushed him. Without his traps, he wasn't much of a fight. We got his stuff, but we had to retreat in case more enemies showed up. Other than that fiasco, we managed to rescue and guide about half a dozen people who were lost or injured in the area."

"Let me get that." Hinata said sternly to Kankurō as her hands began to glow green and placed them on his injured arm. "What about you two?"

Lee stood up straight and saluted, much to the irritation of Temari and their clone. "Thanks to our flames of youth and our clone friend here, we managed to navigate and guide many of the civilians in this area without any enemy encounters!"

Temari sighed as she began to elaborate more. "We managed to guide about half of the people in that area to the bunkers safely. They weren't too keen on moving by themselves, since they were scared they might encounter enemy shinobi if they made a wrong turn. Apparently, the blonde sent his clones off in so many directions that he knew what the safest route was and sent the info to this one here… though I am curious as to why so many of the people we came across seemed to not trust you…"

The clone shrugged nonchalantly. "I've pranked pretty much everyone in this village at least twice, so it's really no surprise at this point…"

Kankurō shook his head disbelievingly. "I'll never get this village. You'd think the people would put their personal safety as a higher priority when there's a war going on over their heads."

"By the way, was that you who made that loud ringing a while ago?" Temari asked one of the clones curiously. "Seriously, what was that? I swore I could have felt some of that chakra from all the way over here!"

The clone chuckled lightly as it hopped away. "Sorry! It's a secret! I'd get in trouble if people knew I was related to that technique… so can you guys please not talk about it to others?"

Kankurō smirked as he looked at his elder sibling. "Geez, sis, make up your mind. First you set your eyes on that Nara kid and then you start going for this crazy idiot. What's next, you go mad trying to pick between the two and decide to get a harem like that Ino girl?"

WHAM!

"Now that the clown is silent, we can get back to the matter at hand…" Temari said with a small blush on her face as she put her fan back, ignoring her crying brother and the massive welt she'd left on his head. "Since half of us are wounded, I assume that we will all go to the northeastern district and guide the rest of the civilians?"

Hinata nodded, though it should be noted that there was a small twitch in one of her eyes. "Yes. We should stick together now more than ever in case more enemies come this way. Kankurō and I managed to get most if not all of the people in our area, but there are still plenty left in yours. We will go around using the same strategy as before; the clones and I will search out the civilians and the rest of you will gather them up."

The clones looked up at the same time. "The original just finished what he was supposed to do. He's going to start to make more clones to help out the civilians. Should we tell him to send some to the area you were just in?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes. Because we encountered that jōnin, we had to retreat before we could make a thorough search. We could have missed someone the first time through."

"Got it." Said one of the clones before it dispersed itself.

"Man… how many clones can you actually make?" Kankurō groaned as he rubbed his head and got back on his feet. "I mean, if they just disperse when they get hit just once, how much of an impact on this fight do you think a couple dozen copies of you will make?" The clone, Lee and Hinata looked at each other for several moments before bursting out laughing. "What? What did I say?" The puppet user asked defiantly.

"Heheh. A couple dozen he says…" The clone chuckled with a tear in its eye.

"It's not polite to laugh at others, Naruto-kun…" Hinata berated the clone merrily while trying to hold back a set of giggles.

"Haha! You are most mistaken, my friend!" Lee laughed without hesitation. "Naruto-kun has exceptionally youthful chakra reserves! So much so that on more than one occasion he has produced over 1000 shadow clones at a time and still has had chakra and stamina to spar with my teammates or myself!"

Kankurō and Temari gaped at the clone disbelievingly. "You mean to tell me that this insane runt here is literally a one-man army?" Temari asked in an almost shrill voice.

The clone calmed down somewhat. "Heheh. Well, yes technically… but when almost all of the men involved are literally cannon fodder, the intimidation factor goes down by a bit." He sighed. "Ah, cannon fodder. The number of uses for you is almost as high as your death rate…"

Kankurō blinked. "You know you just called yourself cannon fodder… right?"

The clone shrugged. "Meh. I don't sweat the little things. Having multiple identity crises isn't that big of an issue when there's a war going on."

Temari sweatdropped. "That… makes so much sense… for all the wrong reasons…"

Hinata sighed. "Okay. I think we've fooled around long enough. We still have a job to do. Until we are ordered to otherwise, we will continue to do our mission. Let's go."

"Right." Nodded the rest of the group before they ran off to the undamaged district.

o. o. o.

Ghost chuckled humorlessly as he sat down on the floor of one of the many hallways of the arena. Despite his earlier protests, he was glad that Shadow had forced him to lighten his restraints a bit before fighting. He was honestly exhausted. He used a large portion of his energy to get his call to reach everyone in Konoha, and while he didn't use that much of his stamina during his first round against the 15 assassins Orochimaru sent against him, that mantis man had given him a run for his money… though if truth be told, he did fight against the 6-bladed man up front using only his basic sword skills for a good portion of the time, which was a bit stupid on his part... but then again, that was what his family was known for. He ended up finishing the fight using one of his bell tricks, which was something he embarrassingly enough didn't do in a while, even though it was one of his personal favorite tactics to use.

However, what truly drained the last reserves of the man was the 20 minute rodeo ride from hell on Manda's head. Now, Ghost did in fact enjoy that last stunt. He enjoyed it very, VERY much… what got to him was that he was already fairly exhausted before the stunt even began, his arms were dislocated and roughly reset several times during the ride, and the fact that he had received one of the worst cases of whiplash that he had ever experienced. He cursed himself for forgetting that riding on the heads of giant snake like monsters while they were in massive amounts of pain was one of the fastest ways for anyone to lose their lunch... or get killed… whichever came first.

Still, he had a goal to achieve, and he managed to not spew and keep his face straight long enough to… 'convince' the snake boss to accept his deal. As soon as Manda agreed to the deal, Ghost let him go and the family went their separate ways. Scabbard went to retake Shikamaru's role as village coordinator, Shadow and Crypt went to kill more things in incredibly violent fashions that would be talked about for years to come, and Zuzushi flew off to freak more people out.

As for Ghost… well, he was busy trying to get his stomach under control and catch a well-deserved breather… if it weren't for the small event that was developing in a nearby hallway junction that had caught his attention…

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me…" The man groaned as he quickly processed the status, positions, and identities of the individuals there and figured out what was going on. Knowing that there would be hell to pay if he didn't do something about the situation, the man shakily managed to grab a kunai from the pouch on his waist despite the pain of having his arms dislocated and strained so many times, and placed the handle of the blade in his mouth so the blade was sticking out of the right side of his mouth. "Heheh. I definitely owe Crypt for teaching me the basics of this shit…"

o. o. o.

Down said hallway:

Tsume Inuzuka swore between breaths as she clutched a deep wound in her side and rested against the wall while glaring at the full team of Oto shinobi looking eagerly down at her. On the other side of the room, Kuromaru growled angrily as he attempted to get up despite having two of his legs broken, one of which had a bone jutting out of the skin. The two were moving to another position in the arena when they were ambushed by the enemy, who'd disguised themselves as corpses and covered themselves with their allies' blood to make it seem more believable.

"Well, well. Not bad catch if I do say so myself… the head bitch and her mutt…" Chuckled the leader, who was roughly a head taller than the rest of the men there. "You know, there's a reward for anyone that brings in the head of a clan leader… you think we'll get double if we take the mutt's head, too?"

The men laughed. "Wouldn't hurt to try." One of them answered.

"You know, despite being an old hag, she's still quite a looker…" Brought up another man. "How about we enjoy her a bit before we kill her…"

The last one laughed. "Yeah! And then when we kill her, we can have her dog fuck the corpse!"

"You sick disease-infested monkeys! I will enjoy tearing your throats apart!" Kuromaru raged as he tried to stand up, only to be savagely kicked by one of the other men. The sounds of several ribs breaking could clearly be heard.

"I think we hurt the puppy's feelings…" Mock pouted the man as he took out a kunai. "Here… let me take them away, then…"

"No!" Tsume cried. "Kuromaru!"

Tingle, tingle…

"What the...?" The man who was about to attack asked curiously as he turned to look down a hallway where the sound of a single innocent bell was heard… only to immediately forget the bell as a massive wave of pain registered and he looked down to see that the hand that was holding the kunai had been slashed off. "My arm! The fuck?"

"Shit!" Yelled the leader. "Someone's here! Defensive formation! Get the bitch!"

"Right!" Yelled one of the henchmen as he ran to Tsume.

Tingle, tingle…

The ninja that was reaching out for the woman collapsed next to her and gasped for air for a few seconds before he stopped moving. From where she was, the woman could see that the dead man had a long, clean, and deep gash that stretched diagonally from his left collar bone to the right side of his stomach. Several organs and bones were showing, and an unreal amount of blood was escaping from the wound. Tsume could only gape at what was going on. She had no idea who the hell was helping her or why she couldn't smell him out, but at the moment she couldn't really care less.

"Damn it!" The leader swore as he and the remaining two men stood in a triangle formation with their backs to each other. "Check for a genjutsu! The bastard is probably hiding using some kind of illusion. Flare your chakra and keep your senses open! Don't pay attention to the bell-!"

Tingle, tingle…

The bell rung from directly above the men, completely shattering the pattern it had normally followed before, ringing from afar, and caused all three of the men to panic and look up above them…

Tsume, however, could only widen her eyes in awe as her rescuer blinked in existence as the bell sounded, crouched in between all three men without a sound and his body already poised to attack, well within the striking distance of his victims, who were all looking up to try and find the source of the ringing and thus completely unaware of his presence. The woman swallowed as she noted the level of stealth and speed that Ghost was demonstrating… she doubted she would even know he was in the same area as her if she wasn't looking at him with her own two eyes.

Only the leader noticed that there was a man standing in the center of them in time and jumped away before Ghost spun with the kunai in his mouth. The wind enhanced chakra streaming from it cut through the other two men's necks laughably easily and felled them before they knew what was happening. The assailant's hair spun around his head as he twirled, dancing among the flying blood and dragging at its end a small metal bell.

"Fuck…" The leader growled as he saw the face of the man who took out his team from literally right under his nose, the heads and bodies of the victims making small thuds as they landed on the ground. Immediately his eyes went to the assailant's arms. Both were extremely red near the shoulders, borderline purple, and trembling. The man himself was holding a kunai in his mouth, but was panting deeply and there was a fair amount of sweat coming off of his head. The Oto shinobi paused before chuckling darkly. "Heheheh… I can't believe it… my entire team got taken out by an armless man armed with a single kunai in his mouth who was already halfway dead…" He glared at Ghost with a happy glint in his eye. "You're a piece of work, all right… but now that I can see you, you can't win. Not in that shape… I bet your genjutsu used up the last of your chakra right there, so you tried to take out the rest of us with that last move… so how about this… you leave me and the bitch here…" He twirled some kunai in his hands expertly. "…and maybe I won't gu… urgh!" The dark man froze as he looked down to see a chakra blade sticking out of his chest.

Tingle, tingle…

"It may be a little late, but just to warn you… I'm an assassination specialist, and from my experience, people tend to be less aware of their surroundings when they try to give their ultimatum in an intimidating way… so it would be best to avoid talking when against people such as myself… oh… and by the way… I don't use genjutsu… that was all stealth and speed back there…" Stated a second and unusually calm Ghost from behind the man's back, sticking his kunai deep into the man's spine.

The leader's eyes widened in pain. "Wh… what are you?"

"Your better." He growled before twisting and slicing it out of his heart. "God, I love shadow clones…" He muttered as the first Ghost disappeared in a cloud of smoke and the body of his latest kill fell to the floor.

Tsume's face was unreadable as her rescuer spat out the kunai in his mouth and sat down next to her with a heavy grunt, obviously in response to the shock he was experiencing through his arms. Looking at the appendages, she decided to make herself known again and snorted. Hana had told her before that the man would never answer direct questions easily if he didn't want to, so she would have to play his game to get any decent info out of him. "Huh… considering all the stories Hana has told me about you… you must have done something pretty stupid to do that to your arms. They look like they're about to fall off…"

The man chuckled dryly as he sunk against the wall. "Yeah… riding on top of a pissed off and tortured snake boss summons's head for almost half an hour can do that to a person…" He looked at the woman and then at Kuromaru, both were staring at him in a disbelieving manner. "You two don't look like you had a nice day either… have anything serious that needs to be treated?"

Kuromaru coughed up some blood. "I can't fight any more and my bones need to be reset very soon… but nothing life threatening just yet…"

Tsume grunted. "I have a lot of scratches… and this gash is letting out a lot of blood... it's not life threatening, but without Kuromaru… I'd be dead weight even if I received good aid…"

Ghost grunted in agreement before acting. He hissed in pain as he managed to somehow raise his hand up so that he could turn on the radio before letting it fall limply to the ground again. "Oi ground control, can you hear me? Shikamaru, answer the damn call, you lazy bastard…"

The group waited for several seconds before getting a response. "I hear you… what the hell are you and Tsume-sama doing? I thought you would try to be on the other side of the village from her after what happened earlier…"

The three people in the room sweatdropped. Ghost chuckled nervously as Tsume gave him a dangerous glare. "We… can talk about my personal life's issues later, Shika. You can read our status, right?"

"You mean the fact that if I didn't know you better, I would have sworn both of you tried to kill each other?" The lazy boy yawned, getting more sweat drops from the listeners.

The man paused for a moment, making nervous whines as the woman grinned at him savagely. "Well… yes… but the thing is that Tsume's wolf Kuromaru doesn't have a radio, so his status isn't in the system…"

There was a pause as the group waited for a response. "You're right. Inuzuka hounds don't have radios, so their status isn't recorded. Since you're actually calling me up, I can assume it's pretty bad down there. You want me to call in Hana and Anko, or do you think that a normal nearby medic-nin can patch you guys up well enough? I have to warn you, though, Hana's group is still in the eastern side of the village fighting off the main force, so it might take her a few minutes to get to you."

Ghost looked at Tsume and Kuromaru curiously. "Well… it's your call, guys. I'm not a vet, so I don't know how bad of shape you guys are in right now…"

Tsume made an irritated clicking noise as she turned to see how her partner was doing. The one eared wolf was panting shallowly and his drool with mixed with blood. There was a noticeable protrusion on his left hindleg and chest, and she knew for a fact that his right foreleg was in worse shape. The angered mother let out a deep sigh and rested her head against the wall. "Get Hana over here. My wounds aren't that bad and the idiot here would more than likely jump headfirst into the main battle in the shape he's in if you gave him a nickel, but Kuromaru needs immediate and exact attention or else we might run the risk of permanently crippling him… and Hana is the best shinobi vet in the village…"

"Oh sure, make fun of the guy who saved your ass when his arms are practically falling off…" Grumbled Ghost.

"Got it." Shikamaru replied before another moment of silence claimed the room. "You want me to send you some backup in case any more enemies come your way?"

"Don't worry." The man sighed. "Between our sensor skills, we'll be aware of any enemy's position long before they find us… and Tsume is well aware that I can take care of all of us until then, despite my current state…"

"Getting regrets about riding Manda's head now that you're bearing the scars?" The boy asked in an amused tone.

Ghost smirked. "Hell no."

A snorting sound was made through the radio. "I thought as much. Keep tight guys, I'll have Hana and Anko over there in about 15-20 minutes."

The following silence confirmed that Shikamaru had cut connections from them at the moment to talk to Hana.

"Well… now that we have some time on our hands…" Tsume sighed before turning to the panting man. "… what are your intentions with my daughter?"

Ghost froze momentarily before starting to sway. "Oh no. I seem to have used up too much of my chakra. I am blacking out now…" He stated in a far from believable tone before falling onto his side… causing his body to freeze rigidly as he did so.

Kuromaru sweatdropped. "You landed on your shoulder, didn't you?"

"…FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU…"

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

Sasuke sat in the waiting area solemnly as he replayed the disaster inside his head over and over again with an arm and a leg in a cast. He was told that he was in no shape mentally or physically to continue acting in the village at the moment and had to stay in the building… but to frank, he would have done so even if they told him the rest of the village was burning down for all he cared.

Looking up with blurry eyes, he could make out people running past him in either direction. Doctors and medical shinobi hurrying to take care of injured shinobi and civilians. Friends and family crying, yelling, and comforting their loved ones as they came in with cuts, bruises, and occasional missing body parts. On more than one occasion, he was snapped out of his brooding by the screams of some random man or woman being rushed to the medical room with their stomach torn open or burns over half of their body…

Sakura… Sakura was quiet when she got to the building, though, almost as if she was sleeping…

The boy quietly looked to his side where a lone ANBU stood guard over him, his head was covered by a black coat so that not a hair was seen, and his mask was an oddity even among the secret shinobi: a black mask with a fox's face drawn in red, with small white cracks coming from the right eye stretching outward across half of the piece of porcelain. He owed his life to this man… and he owed him and the Sanin Jiraiya for getting his teammate to the hospital still alive…

It had happened just after Sakura sped off under her illusion to assassinate the jōnin. Sasuke had canceled out the illusion hiding him and the family they were escorting and was leading them through some of the secondary streets of the village when things went from concerning to utter shitfest.

o. o. o.

Flashback:

Sasuke was guiding the family towards one of the safe points that he'd been told was part of a path that would allow civilians to get to the safe houses without running into any enemy shinobi. He was worried that Sakura may have been in a bit over her head with her plan, but she was in fact the most intelligent out of the team and could take care of herself. Besides, she had managed to cut all three of the men with the weapons that Ino had given them, so they would at least be out cold shortly. Despite the fact that Ino was among the people he feared the most, although she was nowhere near Itachi or Ghost-sensei, he grudgingly admitted that she was likely one of the most knowledgeable people in Konoha when it came to poisons... or at least of the people he knew.

Panting a bit from making so many shadow clones at once, the Uchiha looked around quickly with his Sharingan active. He was by himself now, and he didn't want to get caught off guard, or there was a good chance that none of them would make it. As the group continued down the way, the boy received the memories of the clones he had disguised as the family. He still wasn't used to this ability of shadow clones; sure, he had used them to gain experience faster, but receiving any actual information was still a rather new feeling for him. At that moment, Sasuke was distracted and stumbled over his feet… and things went wrong.

The second an opening was apparent, a cloaked man dashed out from the shadows with impressive speed and attempted to attack Sasuke. The boy's instincts took over and he managed to jump out of the way… but the man continued charging straight towards the family and took the wife hostage with a kunai, much to the shock of the other side. The father and son managed to run away from the assailant. "I must say… using the fire's heat to cover the genjutsu you were all hiding under and using shadow clones as a distraction was a very impressive maneuver, Sasuke-kun…" The man mused in a polite but deadly tone. "It's a shame that you had to sacrifice your teammate in order to make sure that they stayed away. She showed such promise during the exams, too…"

"Mom!" The boy yelled in shock. "Let her go!"

"Don't!" The father ordered as he managed to grab his son in time. "You'll only make things worse! That man's a ninja!"

"But he has mom!" The boy yelled as he struggled against his father.

Sasuke momentarily smirked as he attempted to figure a way out of this mess. He had found, thanks to several teacher's advice, that acting in a confident manner made thinking easier, even if the situation was horribly against you. Stabilize your mentality and weaken your opponents, and you've already won half the battle. "Shows what you know. I know for a fact that two of those jōnin are already dead, and Sakura doesn't even have a scratch on her. I guess Oto shinobi really are all talk…"

Unfortunately Sasuke's taunt didn't have the desired effect as the masked assailant laughed instead. "Hahahaha! Really? Two are already dead? I must admit, even I am surprised by this outcome. Maybe I underestimated your teammates a tad too much… but no matter. I did not come here to kill Konoha shinobi or civilians, as my dead compatriots have indicated." He drew some blood out of the crying woman's neck. "I came here for you, Sasuke-kun. I doubt I have to explain what will happen if you don't come peacefully…"

Sasuke swore to himself as he desperately tried to think of a way out of the situation. It was clear that the man in front of him was stronger than the three shinobi they encountered earlier, if his chakra levels and manner of speech was anything to go by. "You know… for someone so confident in their skills and powers, it seems pretty cowardly of you to take a hostage rather than fight me face to face…" The boy growled, attempting to stall for more time.

"Indeed…" The man sighed aridly. "Though I have little doubt I could best you in a fight even if you were fighting at full capacity, I fear that with your abilities, the fight would draw too much attention. There _is_ a war going on, after all, and your allies are running all over the place. No doubt you were thinking of using one of your fire techniques or an exploding tag to draw attention to yourself and get aid, but that is what this lovely assistant is for. Now if you don't mind, I have a timetable to maintain…" The man said confidently before pausing and looking up. "… hmm… what is that peculiar sound?"

Sasuke strained his ears to pick up anything odd. It didn't take him long to hear the odd bell sound coming from the direction of the arena. Knowing that his opponent wouldn't do anything rash, the boy glanced with his active eyes to see the swirling mist twister on a building near the large purple box. With his eyes, he could tell that there were three individuals in it, and that two of them had the exact same chakra signature. A small grin crept on the boy's face as he realized who was in there. "Heh." He chuckled as he turned back to his confused foe. "I always knew that the dobe was hiding something good from us…" His smirk grew. "I wouldn't put much faith in that messed up jutsu of yours back there… from the amount of chakra I saw, odds are someone's gonna fall within a few seconds…"

The man chuckled. "Is that so? I must admit that the technique being used is indeed powerful, but I doubt that it will break the barrier of the Sound Four… by all means, let us wait and see the results. When it fails, I have little doubt that it will convince you to join us, Sasuke-kun…"

The man stopped talking as they watched the light fly towards the box. They couldn't see what was happening, but they could tell that two big things were hitting each other. Both were caught off guard when the ball expanded and exploded loudly, unleashing a massive wave of chakra that reached even where they were… but Sasuke was the one who recovered first since he knew that whatever technique Naruto had made wouldn't do just one thing. Moments later, the two watched as the purple barrier disappeared to reveal a second one underneath, which Sasuke recognized immediately. "Oh yeah, I'm really convinced that you guys are the right people to go to…" The boy chuckled sarcastically as he read the rigid and clearly displeased man's body posture. Sasuke then decided to rub salt in the man's wounds and reached for his shirt. "You came here because Orochimaru wants me for something, right? I highly doubt he gave me that Cursed Seal for shits and giggles…"

The man tried to relax and take control of the situation again. "… Indeed Sasuke-kun. Lord Orochimaru wishes to give you power in order to kill your brother. If you come with us, we can teach you how to properly use your mark to the fullest. Despite that… unusual technique shown, you will not be able to reach your full potential here… they keep you weak…"

The man was interrupted by Sasuke laughing. Despite the situation, despite how tired his body was, he couldn't help but laugh at how horribly mistaken this man was. "Hahahaha! You? Teach me how to use this seal when your retarded fool of a master couldn't even figure out how to design it and balance it out correctly? The same freak who nearly killed my team and tried to possess me by sticking some of that fucked up soul of his inside my body? That's a laugh!" The Uchiha reached to the neck of his shirt and pulled it down to show the modified version of the Cursed Seal. "You shouldn't talk about teaching others how to use a seal properly when you can't even make a decent one yourself."

The man stared at the seal in shock. "I-Impossible… the seal has been modified? Not even Jiraiya should have been able to figure its design and mechanics so quickly… unless… it wasn't him that did it…!" The man's ramblings were cut short as he noticed that Sasuke was making some seals. "What? He doesn't care about the hostage's life?"

"Fire Style! Grand Fireball Technique!" The boy roared as he blasted the technique at the pair who watched him with wide eyes.

"Mom!" The boy yelled hysterically while his father gazed in the scene in front of him with shock.

The man swore as he let go of the woman and jumped away a second before the fireball impacted. His cloak caught on fire as he escaped, prompting him to take it off. Moments later his mask cracked and fell off, revealing his identity just as he landed. "Hmm…" He mused as he saw the burning body of his hostage fall to the ground. "You are certainly a peculiar one, Sasuke. You claim to want to stay in this village, yet you go against the ideals here and sacrifice the innocent to kill your opponents…"

Poof. The body of the woman disappeared in a cloud of smoke to reveal a burning log. "You know, I'm beginning to see why everyone praises that damn thing so much…" Sasuke smirked as he jumped between the shocked remaining family members and Kabuto. ' _So he's the spy I've been warned about… damn, this doesn't look good… I hope that my clone sent word to Sakura of what's happening before it dispelled… I can't tell because I'm not used to sorting out the memories of the clones yet…'_ "Keep running behind me 'til you reach the academy two blocks away from here. My clone has rescued her, but it ran out of chakra with that last replacement. Once you get there, get help as soon as possible…"

The father and son stared at Sasuke for a few seconds before nodding slowly and running in the opposite direction as fast as they could.

Kabuto glared at Sasuke as the two made their escape. "It seems I have underestimated you once again, Sasuke-kun… I assume that you made a shadow clone while I was momentarily distracted by the blast of that peculiar jutsu?"

Sasuke sighed. "If the dobe is good for anything, it's distracting people."

"I see…" Kabuto mused as he made some seals. "I will have to make a note of that later… for now, I still have to capture you… Orochimaru-sama will be most intrigued by this new form of the curse seal. I know I am…"

Sasuke chuckled as he wiped the sweat from his forehead and took out his sword. "Oh? You're actually going to fight for once? Aren't you going to chicken out like you normally do? I hear that's what you're good at…"

Kabuto sighed as his hands started to glow. "You know, I am getting quite tired of being labeled as a weakling when I have yet to show any of my power. I feel as if I am being underestimated… well, I guess that is a good thing given my profession. Still, I'm afraid you will have to realize that I am far from weak…" The man charged at Sasuke with the sun flashing off of his glasses and his hands still glowing.

"Tch…" _'I don't like the look of those hands…'_ The boy frowned as he channeled his fire chakra into his sword and attempted to counter his opponent's oncoming assault. He assumed that he would be able to stall for a little while with his fully developed Sharingan active, however his opponent proved otherwise as he threw down a smoke bomb to hide his movements. With his advanced skill in the medical arts and experience in combat, it didn't take long for Kabuto to shut down the exhausted Uchiha and render him unable to move via a broken left leg and right arm. Any damage that Sasuke had managed to deal his opponent had healed up by the end of the fight.

"My my…" Kabuto sighed casually. "I for one am a bit disappointed, Sasuke-kun. I expected more than this out of Itachi's little brother…" He smirked as he saw a twitch on Sasuke's face. "Although I guess that's to be expected. After all, it is highly doubtful that anyone, let alone you, would have the potential to beat him of all people. I guess he just let you live on a whim… killing you must have really been an insult to his skills, considering how pathetic you are…"

Sasuke's anger rose with every word Kabuto spoke. While he had in fact been getting better, Itachi was still a major sore point for him under any circumstances. He only allowed a handful of people to speak about the subject while in his presence, and even that was only when they had something productive to say about the topic. This… wasn't productive. "Shut up…you have no idea what you're talking about…" The boy growled, trying to keep his temper in check.

Kabuto raised an eyebrow in amusement. "Oh? Is that so? Actually, I like to think I'm quite well informed about these kinds of things, being a spy and all. I'm fairly certain that I even know who your brother is working for as we speak… although that is rather easy, since until recently, Orochimaru-sama was in the same group…"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed before letting a small smile escape his lips. He was still angry, but he could vent some of his rage out in the form of mocking his opponent. "Akatsuki… right? Is there anything interesting you're going to tell me, or are you just going to talk until I fall asleep?"

Kabuto's eyes widened considerably and he stopped in his tracks. "Well now… this is certainly an interesting turn of events…" He mused as he shifted his glasses to hide his eyes. "It seems as if there is now another reason to take you, Sasuke-kun. I am most intrigued as to how you know of that particular organization… not many people know of their existence, let alone the identities of some of their members…"

"I'm afraid I will have to end our conversation here, Sasuke-kun… you have given me much to think about…" The man's somewhat aloof demeanor hardened as he suddenly dashed towards the downed Uchiha, only to stop short just before several kunai and shuriken would have impaled him. Both men turned to see Sakura standing on top of a nearby building with more weapons already in hand. "Hmm… now isn't that peculiar…" The spy mused. "I would have sworn that just one of those men I sent would have been more than enough to overpower that girl…"

 _'Shit, she didn't get the message!'_ Sasuke mentally swore as he tried to put as much room between Kabuto and himself as his body would allow. "Sakura! Get help! He's too strong to take on by yourself!"

"The hell I'm going to leave you alone with a traitor and let you get kidnapped! You are not Naruto! You can't heal from broken bones in a few hours!" Sakura yelled as she let loose some more kunai before jumping off of the building and making some seals. "Demonic Illusion! False surroundings!"

Kabuto smirked as the environment changed around him. "While I must commend your efforts, I'm afraid I am running out of time, so forgive me if I make this quick…" The man canceled out the illusion without even making the needed seal… to see Sakura right in front of him with an arm raised for a punch. "Naive!" He growled as his still glowing hands reached out to deal internal damage to the girl's head… only to miss as she dodged underneath and punched him in the stomach with unexpected strength. The man flew back at immense speeds and crashed into a nearby building, much to the shock of both of the males there.

"S-Sakura? How… did you do that?" Sasuke asked in awe.

The girl turned around and smiled at her teammate. "Well… I had my reaction enhancing illusion up the entire time, which helped me dodge the attack… but as for that punch… let's just say that you and Naruto weren't the only ones holding back recently…!" The girl froze as blood started to dribble down her mouth before she collapsed on the ground, gasping for air.

"Sakura? Sakura!" Sasuke yelled as he crawled to his teammate, more scared than he'd been since Itachi killed his family in front of him. Here he was, watching another precious person in front of him, dying, and he was powerless to do anything about it. "No… not again… anything but this…" He whispered in a feeble voice.

"I must admit… I did not expect someone like you to have the strength of a taijutsu expert…" Coughed Kabuto as he pulled himself out of the rubble. "If I was not in possession of the advanced medical techniques I have… I most certainly would at least be in a comatose state, with several ruptured organs… Regardless, you overestimated yourself, Sakura-san, and left your back open when you attacked." He jumped from the wreckage, covered in healing scratches and one of his glasses' lenses broken, but otherwise in perfect health, and landed right in front of the pair. "It's a shame, really. You have shown such promise, only to fail and die here. It's such a waste… but such is the life we live in this world of ours…" His glowing hand raised to finish the girl off. "I don't expect you to forgive me… however, should you live through this, I hope you will come to understand that I am not entirely at fault given our situation…!" The spy's hand was stopped and restricted by a long pink tongue.

"Well, now. What do we have here? A bunch of kids duking it out and no parental supervision? What's this village coming to?" Chuckled a large man on top of a larger toad, whose tongue was wrapped around Kabuto's arm.

"Jiraiya-sama…" Kabuto mused without a waver in his voice. "I am surprised. I would have assumed that someone of your prowess would be with the main forces…"

The white haired man smirked. "Well, it seemed as if the boys had everything covered over there, when oddly enough I saw a Konoha ANBU traveling into the village alongside some Oto shinobi. It seems as if my curiosity bore some fruit. Here we are, looking at a spy, a downed Uchiha, and if I'm not mistaken, a girl that might as well be the second coming of my old teammate Tsunade…" Kabuto's glasses flashed at that moment, no doubt connecting the dots between what the man had just said and the punch the girl had given him. "Regardless, you're coming with me to have a nice long chat with Ibiki and Anko." His demeanor darkened. "No doubt those two will be… _more_ than eager to test out the full extent of that healing skill of yours…"

 _'Jiraiya-sama? Of the Sannin? What's he doing here? Wait… that's not important now…'_ "Jiraiya!" The Uchiha shouted near franticly. "Sakura's hurt! Badly! She needs to get to the hospital now!"

Kabuto smirked, clearly ignoring the boy's shouts as his body relaxed and his hand stopped glowing. "I must say, I never expected to be captured by the Toad Sannin Jiraiya. I am quite surprised and honored… I hear that your books have been doing quite well recently…"

Jiraiya smirked as he eyed the situation carefully. "Don't underestimate the eyes of a super pervert, kid. They're good for more than accurately identifying a woman's three measurements at a glance, you know…"

"Sasuke…kun…" Sakura managed to whisper out as she looked at her crush with glazed eyes. "Was I… able to help you? I… wasn't a… burden… was I…?" The girl smiled feebly before her eyes closed, giving her a peaceful look.

"Sakura! Hold on! Stay with me! Don't you dare leave me like this! Sakura!" Sasuke yelled hysterically as he shook his teammate and tried to keep her conscious to no avail. While Jiraiya was distracted by the girl, Kabuto disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Damn…" The sage swore as the toad he was on jumped down to the girl and retracted its tongue. He could have gone after Kabuto and taken him in, but odds are that Sasuke and Sakura would have been captured or killed in the process, and he wouldn't let that happen no matter what. Crouching down, he inspected the two genin and attempted to determine what their damage was. He could tell from the swelling that Sasuke had an arm and a leg broken, but that was about it. Sakura on the other hand was much worse. Her heartbeat and breathing were both erratic, and there was a steady flow of blood coming from her mouth. "Shit… we need to get her some aid, pronto…"

"Allow me to assist you, Jiraiya-sama…" Announced an ANBU with a black mask as he jumped down from some nearby buildings. "I am trained in some medical techniques. Though I am nowhere near as qualified as a medic-nin, I should be able to stabilize her enough for you to get her to the hospital in time…" He paused as the Sanin stood in front of him threateningly.

"Step away from the kids, imposter. Your mask isn't the standard issue ANBU white, which means either two things, 1. The old man has been slipping and forgot to tell me of a new agent, or 2, someone has been extremely clumsy and forgot to tell you what an ANBU looks like…"

The man's demeanor stiffened. "Or three, I am a special agent that is assigned for a special task that neither you nor Hokage-sama were aware of for security reasons. Now please step aside, or else you will be failing two more children in addition to the one you abandoned, Jiraiya- _sama_."

The Sannin froze in shock as the man walked briskly past him making some seals for the Mystic Palm Technique. "H-How… do you know that…?"

The agent didn't reply as he examined and tended to the downed Haruno. "One of her lungs has been cut deeply, and many tendons in her back and along her spine have been cut. She is treatable, but this is something that is beyond my level of skill. The best I can do is reduce some of the internal bleeding so she won't die before you get her to the hospital. If you don't mind, I suggest summoning a faster toad to ensure she gets there in time…"

Jiraiya blinked for a few moments before snapping out of his delirium. "Huh? Oh… right…" He said in a less than enthusiastic tone as he made the needed seals. "Summoning!" He shouted before a cloud of smoke appeared and revealed a medium sized blue toad. "Gamaspeed-san, I need you to get this girl to the hospital as fast as you can!" The sage said as he jumped on the toad's head.

"All done." The ANBU said as he approached Sasuke and picked him up on his back, much to the boy's displeasure, as the toad's tongue stuck out and picked the girl up carefully. "I'll meet you guys there." He said as he ran in the direction of the building.

Moments later, Sasuke saw the large toad fly over his head at an impressive speed in order to save his teammate…

o. o. o.

That had been over an hour ago, and the Uchiha still did not know what had happened to his teammate. Due to the situation in the village, Sasuke was merely waiting in a side room with some other patients and staring into space. "I should have been stronger…" He whispered out to himself for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"Really? From what I saw, you were doing quite well for someone your age." The ANBU replied, surprising the boy, since it was the first time the man spoke since he'd gotten to the hospital.

The boy jumped before calming down. Thanks to the painkillers he'd had, the jolt didn't hurt him as much. "What would you know?" The boy glared. "It wasn't as if you were following me the entire time…"

"Actually…" Spoke up a new voice, distracting the two as they turned to see Waltz walk in with a girl in his arms. "… if that mask serves as any indication for me… he was…" The old man turned to the ANBU and looked at him carefully. "… am I correct in guessing you were assigned by my grandson to keep an eye on young Sasuke here?"

The ANBU nodded. "Yes, Ōgakari-sama. As of 0500 this morning, I was tasked by Ghost-san to maintain an eye over Uchiha-san during today's events in case of his potential abduction…"

"Wait…" Sasuke growled. "You mean to tell me that you could have jumped in at any time and saved me, but decided to stay back while I wasted my chakra all over the god damn village?"

The ANBU shook his head. "No. Unfortunately, I was supposed to maintain by secrecy unless absolutely necessary. My existence is something that would bring up issues if known, and my intervention was only required as a last resort and a precaution. We have had reason to believe that you would be a target of today's events, but we did not have most substantive proof than circumstantial evidence. For this reason, I was tasked with protecting you only, and for that I apologize." His posture relaxed a small amount. "On a side note, I must admit that you and your teammate performed quite admirably despite my lack of intervention. I will be sure to inform Hokage-sama of you and your partner's actions in my report and…" The man was cut short as a sword was positioned in front of his chest, held by a very irritated Uchiha.

"I don't give a damn about your fucking reports, you tool…" He growled with his Sharingan active. "I just had one of the few people I actually made a bond with nearly die for me, in front of me. If she does not make it, I swear I will gut you in front of the entire village, and burn you alive for everyone to see…"

Despite the tense situation, Waltz chuckled gently and pushed the blade down with his walking stick. "Now, now. There is no need for more blood in a hospital, Sasuke. I actually just came across the doctors that were in charge of young Sakura's surgery, and they said that she is out of danger. She will still need a considerable amount of time to recover…" His smile grew a small amount and winked. "But I think I still have a few tricks that might speed things up a bit…" Sasuke looked at Waltz with a relieved look on his face. The old man chuckled as he figured that was the closest to an actual thanks he was going to get from the exhausted boy.

"Well, until then, I have my work cut out for me…" He sighed as he shifted the girl in his arms a bit. "I have to get a room for this young one… and then I will probably spend the next few days listening to people screaming in pain and saving as many lives as possible… I should probably find out where the doctors keep their clothes here… the smell found in operating rooms tends to stick to clothes even after you wash them… and most of them aren't very pleasant…" The man sighed again before turning to the ANBU. "How much longer do you have… Fox?"

The ANBU slowly nodded in understanding. "Thanks to recent… changes, I can last until 5 tomorrow morning."

The old man grunted. "Good. We should have things under control by then. If that's all, I'll be leaving you now…" He paused halfway to the door.

"One last thing though… Sasuke…" The boy looked up at the old man's immense and hunched over back. For a moment he thought it looked like it was if he was holding something heavy upon them… "… Don't live solely for revenge. It will only make you weaker as you continue down that self-destructive path…" The hand holding the walking stick tightened a bit, causing a distinct cracking noise to be heard. "… Take it from a foolish old man who has walked all the way down that road, and has seen what truly lies at the end of it. You… no, no one wants to or should ever have to go down that way." Waltz sighed and slumped even further. "… Emotions are a powerful guide Sasuke… but that is all they are… a guide… and like people, they can be wrong at times. It is up to you to choose whether or not to listen to them when the time comes. When it does… be careful."

o. o. o.

Kuma, Zurich, and Rika swore as they managed to take cover behind a building just before another Oto shinobi's jutsu nearly killed all of them in a single blast. The fighting had been intense from beginning, but so far they had little to no problems dealing with the enemy. Most of their forces were trained in taijutsu and some battle tactics, so there were few shinobi that actually knew any battle changing ninjutsu or genjutsu.

Unfortunately, the Kusa shinobi there had the unfortunate luck to encounter an entire squad of said shinobi a few minutes prior and were taking heavy damage as a result. The entire enemy was outfitted with sound gauntlets and tubing in their arms, similar to the genin sent to the Chūnin Exams, but one man in particular had armor all over his body that acted as an extension of his sound gauntlet. The additional holes and the man's immense frame allowed him to deal incredible damage from quite a long distance away. With the aid of the men around him, the Kusa shinobi and some of the Konoha shinobi there were hard pressed to counter the group.

"Damn…" Zurich swore as he hid behind a building with his team and some other Kusa shinobi. "This doesn't look good. We can't get close to those bastards without getting our heads blown up…"

"Mmm…" Kuma grunted as he tied some cloth around a large gash on his leg. "If there weren't so many shinobi that could sense sound vibrations there, I would be able to sneak up underneath them with an earth jutsu… but right now, it would only give me a head start at filling my grave…"

Rika pouted. "Those wind bastards keep on blowing everything I throw at them back at me! It's like I'm fighting that blonde brat all over again, but there's even more of them this time!"

"Oh, I don't know about that…" Naruto sighed as he sat next to Rika. "I can make an awful lot of me at once."

"Holy!" Shouted the Kusa shinobi as they almost jumped out of their cover before they realized who the boy was.

"Yo." The blonde grinned. "Long time no see, guys!"

"It's YOU…" Rika glared as she took out a kunai, only for Kuma to stop her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Who the hell is this brat?" Asked one of the nearby random Kusa-nin. "We asked for backup and all we got was this genin?"

"You didn't see my fights in the exam, did you?" Naruto deadpanned, getting a confirmation nod from Zurich.

"All things considered, I actually feel more at ease than I should be…" Kuma chuckled while Rika stared daggers at the laughing boy. "Regardless, are you aware of the situation?"

The jinchūriki nodded. "About 6 teams worth of Oto shinobi are in the general eastern direction. All of them have either sound amplifying equipment or what we've now dubbed as wind tubes. All of them are experienced at mid- and short-ranged combat, with the exception of one long-ranged sound-based artillery specialist in the group, whose equipment resembles the gauntlet guys. Over here, there are 4 teams of Kusa shinobi and 1 team of Konoha's, and now me…"

"3 teams of Kusa…" Zurich grumbled. "The others got taken out by that walking siren bastard a few minutes ago when they tried to ambush him. Those Sound guys have damn good ears. We can't get anywhere near without them hearing us."

Naruto looked around and saw that the enemy was stationed on the far end of a main street in the village and was advancing slowly. They would have been faster, except the largest man, who looked like he was wearing armor made of metal Swiss cheese, was stopping every few seconds to blow up another building or store on the side of the road. They were still a fair distance away, but it wouldn't be like that for long. Forming a dragon seal, the boy started to focus and reach out with his senses in order to get a better picture of the battlefield. "… The wind guys are stationed on top of the buildings with some of the gauntlets in order to protect the flanks of the street… the rest of the gauntlets are with the armor guy in case anyone gets in too close…" The boy frowned. "… but there are some of those wind guys and gauntlets hiding in the buildings ahead to ambush anyone who tries to use the buildings as well… and you can't go around them, because it would weaken this position and possibly let them through AND because there is already a large amount of fighting to either side of this part of the village…" He mused out loud, getting looks of surprise from many of the Kusa shinobi and the Konoha shinobi that were with them.

Rika slapped herself on the forehead. "Damn… I forgot you're a sensor, too…" She sighed. "But that doesn't help us at all. They have us out gunned, out manned, and in a better position…"

The boy grinned. "Oh I wouldn't say that just yet… in fact… I think we have them beat in all three counts, now that I'm here…"

"Heh. The brat thinks he can change this fight by himself?" One of the Konoha shinobi laughed sarcastically. "As if…"

Naruto shrugged. "Well, at this point you don't have much of a choice, now do you? Everything else you tried didn't work, or else you wouldn't have called for backup… and I'm said backup… and I'm all you need, considering who you're up against."

Kuma raised an eyebrow. He was curious as to why the Konoha ninja would treat his own ally in such a shitty way, but he was even more intrigued as to how the brat would get them out of the mess. "So then, kid. What do you have in mind? You wouldn't have happened to have learned that War Scars technique Ghost used last time, would you? Something like that would definitely be useful in this kind of situation right now…"

The boy shuddered. "Oh, god no. The control needed for that technique is ridiculous. One wrong move and I'm likely to kill myself instead of the guy I'm fighting…"

"Figures…" Sighed Rika.

"Judging from your body posture, I'm guessing you have something else planned." Zurich mused. "You didn't seem that surprised by the description of the equipment the enemy is using. You face these things before?"

Naruto grinned in a fox like manner. "Yep. The genin team from Oto actually had someone with one of those gauntlets and another with those wind tubes." The grin widened. "In fact, I found out something very interesting by accident the day of the first exam, and I've been dying to try it out again…"

Several minutes later:

Naruto causally walked down the street, holding a dragon seal, straight towards the Oto shinobi without a care in the world. It didn't take long for the enemy to notice his bright blonde hair, which was tied into a loose ponytail in the back.

"Heheheh." Chuckled the man in the sound armor. "What do we have here? A genin? You're a long way from anywhere safe, brat. Or did you come here to try to make a name for yourself instead?"

Naruto yawned and looked up at the man with a disinterested look on his face. "I'm sorry, were you saying something? I was too busy looking for people that were actually worth my time."

The man laughed despite the angry look the men were giving him. "Hah! This kid is completely nuts! Walking in front of all of us like this!" His face darkened. "You have some real balls, brat. Give me one reason why I shouldn't blast you into oblivion…"

The boy looked bored as he gazed upon the men with gauntlets. "Hey… those look like the gauntlets that weakling from your village wore to the Chūnin Exams! Man… were his techniques a joke!" The men started to see red as the boy laughed. "Those jutsu and his skills were so weak… I beat him by complete accident!" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Are your techniques any different? Because if they aren't, this will be really boring for me…"

The air around the leader went cold. "That was my cousin you were talking about, you stupid little gnome." He stepped forward and gathered his chakra. "I was going to let my men finish you off… but instead, I want to make sure that the only thing left of you is a bloody smear on the road…" The man took out a large hammer and raised it to his side. The men with him quickly jumped behind him, all grinning savagely.

Naruto guessed that the man used the hammer to strike his armor and create the required vibrations for the technique, and used his chakra to magnify it into a large destructive wave that destroyed anything in its path. Unlike wind techniques, the vibrations in the air would intensify as they passed through buildings, because solid objects conduct sound waves better than air does. Thus, sending sound techniques through buildings lengthened their range and increased their destructive capabilities at the cost of increased collateral damage, making such techniques perfect for urban warfare when you were on the invading side. He could see why the other shinobi were having so much trouble getting close to this guy.

"Say goodbye, brat!" The man roared as he struck his armor hard.

Naruto smirked as his eyes began to glow. "Later, dumbass."

The man looked at the boy in a confused manner before he realized something was wrong. Instead of his chakra exploding out of the holes and creating a massive wave of destruction, the stored energy was reverberating inside his armor and unable to escape the many holes that were in it. Soon enough, his cries of pain could easily be heard, as his body was being torn to shreds on the inside while the reverberations continued to build upon themselves. The man's companions stared at him, confused as to what the hell was happening, and completely unaware of how much danger they were in.

Suddenly, the man's body and armor exploded with a large bang, creating a shockwave littered with body parts and shrapnel that expanded in every direction. The two teams that were with the large man didn't have a chance at surviving the blast. Either their insides were scrambled from the intense blast or their bodies were shredded by the flying shards of armor. Naruto himself stood casually in the middle of the street as he manipulated the air around him with some effort to ensure that nothing flying in the air would impale or land on him (or his allies). Soon enough, he could hear the clashes of fighting shinobi all around him as his allies, each aided by a clone of his, took control of the rooftops to either side of him and then inside the buildings as well. A single clone was enough to plug up the wind tubes and gauntlets of all the shinobi they were tasked to deal with, and it didn't take long for the fighting to stop since the enemies were both ambushed and crippled at the same time. He could tell with his Seventh Sense that the gauntlet wearing men's weapons blew up in their faces, and the air tube shinobi had the unfortunate fate of either having their arms blow off rather spectacularly, or have holes rip open half their arms instead and leave them utterly defenseless.

10 minutes later, all four allied teams landed next to a yawning Naruto, who was meditating in the middle of the street. Rika stepped up with her hands on her hips. "Okay. I'll bite. How the HELL did you do that? That bastard was running us through a quarter of the village for the entire invasion, and without even lifting a finger, you fucking blew him up. Not only that, but your clones managed to completely shut down almost all of the enemy's techniques. So help me, if you say that it's a secret…" She started to take out a kunai.

The boy deadpanned. "You know… crazy doesn't work on me nearly as well as it does everyone else…"

"I wasn't going for crazy, I was going for PAIN!" The woman yelled as she attempted to stab him, causing the boy to jump out of the way quickly. "Since you have that convenient healing factor, I just assumed that it wouldn't matter if I got a bit of revenge from our last little encounter…" The woman stopped as Kuma put a hand on her shoulder.

"Rika, I thought you told me you weren't going to try and kill him the next time we saw him…" The man chided with a small grin on his face.

The woman turned around and made puppy dog eyes. "Kuma-kuuun. I wasn't going to actually kill him… I just wanted to hurt him a little…"

"How does that in any way make this situation any better!" Naruto roared with a tick mark and pointed at her accusingly. "You're the crazy bitch that tried to seduce a 13 year old, for crying out loud!"

The other Kusa shinobi looked at Rika with deadpan eyes. "Yep. That sounds like Rika…"

"You'd think she would have learned by now…"

"It's embarrassing, really…"

"I wonder what Kuma really sees in her…"

Rika stood with her hair covering her eyes and her hands balled up into fists. "Brat… I take back what I said…" She looked up in pure rage. "You're DEAD!"

Naruto stepped back clearly afraid and was going to act on the instinct that told him to run away when something nearby triggered his Seventh Sense. Moving instantly to the source of the danger, he noted that Kuma had also acted and grabbed a raging Rika and pulled her out of the way, just as a massive and lethal gale of wind tore through where she once was and sped on towards Naruto. The boy, without any hesitation, fully unleashed his Presence and canceled the attack without batting an eyelash and glared at the panting Oto shinobi that had both his arms pointed towards the group. Everyone stared at the boy as the feral and uncontrollable wind circled around them before it died down slightly. "Big mistake…" The boy muttered quietly as he launched himself forward. Augmented by his dashing skill, his chakra control, and surprisingly enough, the chakra hops technique, the boy accelerated from his starting position to breakneck speed in the blink of an eye, moving faster than most of the experienced jōnin there could react to or notice. Before the enemy could even begin to gather his chakra for a second attack, he had already been slashed across his stomach and chest by the boy's wind blades, said boy standing right behind him and dismissing his blades again.

"Fast…" Zurich mused as he instinctively gripped the handle of his broadsword. "… very fast… we're lucky the brat's on our side, that's for sure…"

Kuma, on the other hand, frowned a small amount. It wasn't that he wasn't glad that the kid took out the enemy so quickly before anyone could have gotten hurt, but because he had reacted and moved so quickly…

"Hey… you know, that kid looks sort of familiar… but I can't remember where I've seen him before…" Mused one of the Kusa shinobi.

"I was just thinking the exact same thing…" Said another man.

"It's possible he's just reminding us of someone else…" A third reasoned.

 _'Damn… this isn't good…'_ Kuma mentally swore as he realized that his friends were seeing the connection between the boy and his father.

"I've been told I look like the Fourth Hokage a lot…" Naruto sighed as he walked back to the group, causing Kuma to stare at the boy as if he had grown another head. "Tch… and I tried so hard not to get covered in blood today. You can never get the freaking stains out, plus Kakashi-sensei will be able to tell where I am from a mile away if I wear this after today…" The boy moaned and complained, but many of the adults could see a small shaking in the boy's hands that spoke of different emotions. They decided not to comment on that.

"Oh… yeah… now that you look at him, he does kind of look like the guy…" Mused another Kusa-nin, ignoring the looks of irritation the Konoha shinobi were giving him.

"You think they're related?" Asked another.

"Pft." Naruto snorted, trying to hold back a laugh. "As if. Me? Some sort of secret love child of the Fourth Hokage? Oh man, please. You guys must have been hit too many times with those sound technique if you actually believe that load of bull. If I was, there would be no way they would send me to a fight like this as your lone backup. I would be way too valuable to let run loose like that. Man, if I was the son of the Fourth… the things I would buy and do… cases of exploding tags… get my own personal training area… blow things up every other Tuesday and Friday…"

"Heh. You're right." Chuckled one of the visiting ninja. "Sorry for the mix up, kid. It's just that that last move you pulled was really something else…"

Naruto blinked for a moment before looking down and started to think. "Huh… you know… I actually did that by complete accident…" He mused. "I guess Ero-nii's crazy training actually had some purpose to it after all…" He paused. "… I'm still never going to use it to bounce on my balls though…" He looked up to see all the other shinobi staring at him skeptically. "Hey! You don't know what it was like, damn it! Every day I had to make sure I didn't die by dodging exploding cows or run away from giant wind techniques of pure death! One week, I was constantly thrown off a cliff just to see how well my wind manipulation training was going… and then he told me at the end that he'd had a decent idea how well I was doing after the first time I fell and all the other times he threw me off was because he thought it was funny! That man is INSANE, damn it!" He started to shiver with wide and traumatized eyes. "I need a hug…" Rika stepped forward. "…Preferably from someone who isn't more likely to stab me than hug me… or both…"

Everyone sweatdropped as they watched the boy try to calm himself down with deep breaths. Kuma himself let out a low, deep sigh of relief as well. The kid had done well to change the conversation so quickly and deny his relation with his father. The lad never actually flat out denied that he was his father's son. That being the case, he could tell his friends later that the kid wasn't lying, using his sensory skills as proof. His hysterical fit was also more than an adequate distraction from the main topic. The big man smiled to himself. He would have to bring up the idea of using insanity as a possible route for misdirection in the next jōnin tactics meeting. He wouldn't be able to use it, of course. His personality and demeanor wouldn't allow him to pull it off well, but Rika on the other hand…

"All right…" The man grumbled as he walked to the middle of the group and turned on his radio. "Thanks to the kid here, we managed to secure this area. Since this was a main road, we can use it to get our forces to more strategic points in the village… the question is, which point do we go to?"

"I see that Naruto managed to turn the tide around…" Mused an unemotional and bored voice from their headsets, indicating that Scabbard was once again in charge of navigating Konoha's forces. "He tends to do that…" There was a brief pause. "I assume that he is having another training relapse at the moment…"

Zurich blinked in a confused manner. "How…?"

"Because he has a healing factor, the odds of the boy going into some sort of shock are extremely low… unless he's reliving one of his more… stimulating training sessions…" Sighed the man. "Which one is it this time?"

"Exploding cows, deadly wind techniques, and getting constantly thrown off a cliff for a week…" Rika counted off her fingers.

"Ah… a personal favorite…" The man mused, getting shocked looks from everyone there. "Regardless, you have your next mission…" The man sighed. "The four teams present shall be guarding this position from the enemy and ensuring that the path is clear for allied troops. You have all sustained enough damage and losses that it would be pointless to send you to back up any other forces at the moment. Naruto…" There was a pause as the boy continued to shiver and mutter to himself. "Hold on a second… Dear lord! Someone has thrown a perfectly good bowl of Ichiraku's Ramen in the trash!"

The blonde boy stood straight up and whipped out his wind blades. "Bring me the heathen!"

The rest of the people stared at the boy disbelievingly.

"As I was saying…" Coughed Scabbard over the radio. "Naruto will come back to the hospital…"

"What?" The boy yelled. "Why?"

"Because according to the sensor I have hooked up to you, you only have a chūnin's worth of chakra left in you. Even if your stamina does recover rather quickly, it will be a while before you are in decent enough shape to go into the field again with your current fighting style. Your last mission drained you of a fair amount of your chakra, unless you have already forgotten already…"

"Wait… a chūnin's worth of chakra, and it's deemed too low to let him keep fighting?" Rika asked incredulously.

"To put it into perspective, the boy currently has over 1000 shadow clones running around the village aiding civilians and providing occasional assassination backup for some squads…" Scabbard sighed, causing all of the shinobi to look at Naruto disbelievingly. "I believe his personal best is estimated to be around 2784…"

"Um… actually, it's closer to 3200 now. That last training session with Waltz-sensei helped me a lot with my chakra control… even if he did nearly kill me in the process…" The boy laughed sheepishly, getting more astonished looks from the adults around him.

"Ah yes, I do remember that. That was a rather large crater we found your body in…" The man mused. "To be honest, I'm surprised you actually survived that beating…"

"You really weren't kidding when you said you were a stamina freak back then…" Rika gaped. "You must have one fucking happy girlfriend, brat…"

Naruto frowned. "What part of 'I'm only 13, you sick cradle robber,' don't you understand, lady?"

"The part where you are actually hitting puberty and don't want to have sex, dumbass." The woman growled back, glaring back down at the boy. The two clashed heads and began to make growling noises as they pushed against each other for supremacy.

"I'm not getting involved with this, you know…" Kuma said into the radio.

"I've got this…" Scabbard sighed. "Naruto, go to the hospital, now. Or else Ghost and I won't give you that 15 second head start from Shadow that you've been begging us for once we make those… additional changes that we've been talking about…"

The blonde boy instantly jumped away and put on puppy dog eyes. "I'll be good… please don't let her get me! I'm too young to die that way!" Moments later the boy disappeared into the village, screaming hysterically.

Kuma deadpanned, as did the rest of the shinobi near him. "Care to tell us what that was about?"

"No." The man replied simply. "The next few squads are coming your way, so I would start fortifying your position if I were you…" There was a brief pause. "Oh… and by the way, Orochimaru is dead, so don't be surprised if you see the old monkey himself running by you at some point today. Just thought I'd give you heads up…"

The group of 16 adults stood there blankly as they processed the information they were given for several minutes before the Konoha ninja there started cheering loudly, followed by the laughing and chuckles of the Kusa shinobi. "All right then…" Kuma chuckled. "Let's get to work, people! We don't want to botch this up now that we've already won, now do we?!"

o. o. o.

The rest of the invasion went like clockwork after Orochimaru's defeat. Word of the traitorous Sannin's death spread quickly and greatly affected the morale of both sides. The three Hokage immediately went to work on finishing up the fighting in the middle of the village, which unsurprisingly didn't last long due to the fact that almost all the shinobi there had a front row seat to their leader's death. With Kurenai, Kakashi, Gai, and Asuma taking charge of the area, the Hokage made their way to the eastern edge of the village, where once again their presence was almost unnecessary. Even though Hana and Anko had left the front lines of the battle half an hour earlier, Zabuza, Crypt, and Shadow had all been butchering the remaining forces that decided to fight. There were many Oto shinobi that had simply cracked after witnessing their comrades die in so many gruesome ways that they had lost any will to fight, or even live at all. The road that Naruto and Kuma's group had freed up just before had become a major route for the allied forces to take in order to get to the main fighting grounds.

With the arrival of Sarutobi, the remaining Oto forces knew their cause was lost and attempted to retreat. At this point, about a third of their forces were left… but it would not be for long. The shinobi that were escaping were mostly comprised of bandits and murderers. Men that would cause problems if let loose in the world. This was why they weren't being allowed to do so. As the men attempted to flee into the forest, they were completely unaware of the traps and hidden shinobi that were stationed and hidden throughout the forest before them. Within minutes, numerous explosions and cries of agony came from the trees as men triggered traps and were ambushed. The remaining 300 men were reduced to under 60. More than manageable for any village to handle.

Meanwhile, in the hospital, Naruto (after having a mild… okay, MAJOR panic attack when he saw the mask of the ANBU guarding Sasuke) was dealing with the news of Kabuto's attempted kidnapping while sitting next to Sasuke and attempting to cheer his teammate up. There wasn't much response to the boy's actions until he accidentally tripped and fell in a way that left him lying on the floor looking up the skirt of a nurse. More screaming (from both parties) and savage beatings later, the now maimed boy was tied next to Sasuke, who was now smirking a small bit, and the ANBU, who was failing to hide his laughter. When asked what he learned, the blonde boy blushed, looked to the side, and grumbled something about perverted medics before his eyes widened and he started to pray, repeating the words "Please not baa-chan too, please not baa-chan too…". For some peculiar reason, that only made the ANBU laugh even harder.

On the other side of town, Hana and Anko were chasing a bandaged Ghost around in bloody rage. Why? Well, after the two made it to where Ghost and Tsume were (Ghost having passed out from a combination of landing on his shoulder and lack of air from swearing too long), the group started arguing about their current… situation. The yelling was going down pretty much the same route everyone would expect, until Ghost mentioned how that since he had injured his arms in such a unique fashion, he wouldn't use them for 2 weeks, meaning he wouldn't be able to give his two girlfriends massages for 2 weeks. Several seconds of silence later, the tables had turned on the exhausted man, and he was now running for his life from two very angry women, the reason being that said women knew for a fact that Ghost could have fought or restrained Manda in a way that wouldn't have injured him so much if he wasn't such a childish idiot that thought it would be fun to ride on his head the entire fight. The group had ran away so quickly that Tsume didn't have a chance to assert her 'Alpha Female' authority on them before they were out of hearing range, not that it would have worked at that point.

As the village's populace roared in victory, none of its inhabitants took notice of two figures standing on top of the outer wall on the western edge of town.

"Well, now… isn't this interesting…" Chuckled the larger of the two figures, which had a large bandaged sword on its back. "Your old home still has a decent amount of fight in it, Itachi. Considering the place was just invaded, there isn't much damage." He chuckled lightly. "It isn't like Orochimaru to screw up like this, not with all that ranting he used to do about getting back at this place. You think he might have died?"

The man known as Itachi gazed upon his home village with uninterested red eyes. "… Unlikely. Orochimaru has a habit of surviving unpleasant situations… it could be noted as one of his most prominent abilities…"

The large, blue skinned man snorted. "Yeah… you're right again, as always, Itachi. You know, for a kid you aren't half bad."

The shorter partner didn't respond as he continued to look at the village in front of him.

He paused as he looked at his silent partner. "This isn't like you… even you of all people miss your home village, eh?"

"No, Kisame. I don't." Itachi replied with red eyes. "I don't feel any nostalgia at all…"

o. o. o.

Not far away from the two, on another part of the wall, a small hump slowly grew out of the structure and opened up like a Venus flytrap to show Zetsu. "Ah. This certainly was the most interesting Chūnin Exam I have ever heard of…" Mused the white half.

"Indeed…" Rasped the black half. "It was a good idea to check it out after that short old fart mentioned it."

"Mm." The white half agreed. "That blonde kid that had his attention was really something else, too. Remember that video they showed when he first came out? You think he's really the Fourth Hokage's kid?"

"It doesn't matter… Itachi and Kisame are to verify and check up on the Kyūbi's container within a few days… the lineage of the Fourth is irrelevant to our plans… that is, unless Kakuzu decides to take up a bounty on him…" The black half countered.

"Oh yeah… there was an Uchiha in that exam…" The other mused. "I thought Itachi killed his entire family. That boy looks a lot like him. He was pretty good, too…"

"We'll bring it up in the next meeting." The black half said. "No doubt Leader will want everyone to attend when we inform them of Orochimaru's death…"

"Should we tell Itachi and Kisame that Orochimaru got himself killed now?" The childish half asked curiously.

"No… they will find out soon enough. Itachi is not one for missing details, and no doubt half the village will be talking about the event for weeks to come…" The other answered. "We should go straight to Leader for now. No doubt he will need time to think about this new development… as well as the new potential obstacles…"

"Those Ōgakari guys? I thought they were pretty funny…" The white half chuckled.

"Stop joking. You saw them take out Orochimaru's summon…" The black half chided. "They didn't even look like they were trying that hard. More like they were enjoying themselves… plus, the last recorded sighting of an actual dragon was centuries before the establishment of the shinobi villages. Then, there is the potency and range of their techniques… something does not feel right about them…"

"Yeah, yeah…" The white half moaned as the plantlike appendage on their shoulders closed up again and began to sink into the wall again. "I just hope that that weird old Tsuchikage doesn't give us any more boring missions after this. I'm tired of scouting out random villages in other countries…"

"Shut up…" Growled the black half as the lump disappeared. "We do our missions and we don't get on the Leader's bad side, and in the end, we get what we want… that's the bottom line…"

The lump disappeared into the wall and things were silent… until a shadow rose from the joined cracks in the same wall to form the sole female of the Ōgakari clan, who sat cross-legged and sideways on the wall and sighed. "Well now, wasn't that an interesting conversation…" She mused as she picked at her ear with her pinky. "Listening in on conversations with people with multiple personalities always is an interesting experience…" She pouted. "It wasn't worth the effort, though… if I had known how much of a pain in the ass it was to find and keep track of this guy, I would have forced him onto Ghost and taken one of the others instead… like Deidara… or Kakuzu…" She stretched. "Oh well… I found out what I needed to find out. Back to ye old mad scientist lair, I guess, and read up on some more animal/shinobi partner biology so I can give Hana a hand with work… she was bitching about being one of the only ninja vets in the village, after all, and god knows how much shit she's in with the invasion… but first…" The woman sighed, paused, looked around herself skeptically… then farted loudly. "Ah… thank god. I've been holding that in since the fighting started. God damn stadium corndogs… mixing sticks, meat and gas all together… it's just wrong… but I can't help but eat them…" She grumbled as she turned into darkness again and disappeared into the wall.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Thank fucking god… the Chūnin Exams and the invasion are finally over.

Yeah, sorry about the wait, but my comp ate up about half of this chapter about a week ago and I lost motivation to write for a while.

So without further ado… WOOT! I HAVE OVER 1000 REVIEWS! HOLY CRAP! I GOT OVER 75 REVIEWS WITH THAT LAST CHAPTER. THAT IS REDICULOUS! OVER HALF THIS CHAPTER WAS WRITTEN WHILE I WAS DOING A SILLY DANCE THAT SCARED MY PARENTS AND NOW MY LEGS ARE TIRED! THANK YOU EVERYONE THAT MADE THIS ALL POSSIBLE! YOU ARE ALL GREAT, EVEN THE GUYS THAT DON'T LIKE MY STORY BUT REVIEWED ANYWAY BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER!

Breathes in calmly.

And now for other announcements.

I did a few doodles of some weapons the Ōgakari use, and some of the members. The link is on my profile, so check it out I guess. It's all in pencil, so the quality isn't really all that great…

I've seen a few stories lately that have… for lack of a better term, ripped off of my story, hard. Very, very hard. Now, since then, both authors have changed their ways and chapters so that they don't resemble mine anymore, but I want to make something clear.

I do not own this genre. I support all forms of writing on this site, but I, and obviously everyone here, look down on people that shall we say, base their story off of mine a bit too much. If any of you decide to make a story inspired by mine, by all means, go ahead, but please be careful when writing it, or people might get the wrong impression of what you are doing. If you want any suggestions on what to do, all you have to do is ask and I'll be happy to give my 2 cents.

So, I have plenty of ideas to use later on, there will be plot changes from here on out, but the timeline isn't completely fucked… yet.

Latest Manga and Anime impressions: (Ch 497) Manga wise, it's getting interesting. Kishimoto FINALLY decided it was time to answer one of the female related plot holes in the story for once… no, not Hinata unfortunately… but Kushina finally appears, so we're expecting some good stuff there.

Anime… not so much. Naruto is finally facing Pain… and the animators are taking proverbial dumps on all the fans here. I am appalled at the quality of the fighting given to one of the largest, if not THE largest fight currently in the series. If you want proof, watch the Kakuzu Hidan Vs. Kakashi and Team 10 fight, watch the Sasuke Vs. Deidara, Itachi, and 8 Tails fights, and watch Jiraiya Vs. Pain fights. The quality of the animation is MILES ahead of what has been shown so far.

Breathes slowly again.

Sorry. I'm just rambling now. Like always people. Review. Worship the Log. Pray the animators get off their asses and do something soon, and laugh at something random. Later.


	45. God, I love screwing with people's heads. Thank you for making them so soft.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 45: God, I love screwing with people's heads. Thank you for making them so soft.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Three days after the invasion:

Sarutobi groaned as he stretched and cracked his spine as he attempted to stay awake for what seemed like the hundredth council meeting since the invasion ended. Fortunately or unfortunately for him, the entirety of the meetings had been focused completely on the reconstruction of the damaged areas of the village, management of the captured shinobi populace, navigation of allied forces, negotiations with and rewards for the allied shinobi villages that aided them during the invasion, a LONG meeting involving Suna's almost betrayal and the death of the Kazekage, multiple discussions regarding the Fire Daimyō's reactions and decisions regarding the aftermath of the latest incident, and an uncountable number of hours discussing the financial impact of the damage and complaints of family members of lost ones. The only major break he'd had was to manage and speak out at the mass funeral the previous day for those who had died during the events. It had been estimated that barely 1/10th of Konoha's forces were lost during the invasion, and roughly that same ratio applied to the allied forces as well, while Oto's remaining non-captured forces from the battle remained less than 100, though it was speculated that there were more shinobi left behind to secure their 'village'.

This meeting, however, was different, as it was focused on the major feats of any and all major personnel that took part in the invasion. Of course, not all of the village's higher standing shinobi were there at once while there was still so much reconstruction going on, but all the clan heads, several ANBU captains, Kuma, Fū, the Tsuchikage and his escorts, Gaara's team, Haku, and all the Rookie 12's jōnin-sensei (minus the Ōgakari) were present, as well as several other nameless individuals. Normally, shinobi from other villages would not be present for such a meeting, but Ōnoki's Kage ranking practically demanded that he be allowed to do so, and the leaders of the allied villages' forces were required to come in order to report their involvement and any significant events they may have seen. Fū was there because Genma and Hayate vouched for her so vehemently, despite the grumblings of several other Taki shinobi.

"Thank you very much, Hiashi…" Hiruzen sighed as he listened to the Hyūga head's recollection of his fighting on the western side of the arena. The man's report was impressive, but the aged Kage had heard so many repeats of the fights that it all sounded the same to him. "Now, I believe that the last of our clan heads to report is… Tsume Inuzuka. Afterwards, we will almost be completely done with all the native shinobi reports, and will take a break before hearing reports from our allied and visiting shinobi… Tsume, if you would please…" He sighed, looking at the tired woman, whose stomach was wrapped up fairly heavily and had one arm in a cast.

"Certainly…" She sighed as she looked around. "I was positioned inside the Arena's structure with Kuromaru in order to root out any enemy shinobi that may be hiding inside. For the majority of the invasion, Kuromaru and I were successful in our endeavor, seeing as we knew the layout of the building better than the enemy and possessed appropriate techniques to use in enclosed spaces. Normally, I would be accompanied by an additional member and respective partner of my clan…" She glanced at Hana, who made no response to the gesture. This was not unnoticed by many people in the room. "However, due to the circumstances of the war, I was left to my own devices…"

Sarutobi nodded as he looked down at a piece of paper. "Indeed. I have it written down by the backup coordinator of our forces that you and your partner managed to take down roughly three full teams of enemy shinobi by yourselves before you encountered any issues. Correct?"

The woman smirked. "Those weaklings didn't know what hit them…" Her demeanor darkened. "…but as you insinuated, that did not last long. As we encountered our fourth group, there were several tremors throughout the building, apparently caused by the battle between the Snake boss Manda and the majority of the Ōgakari clan. They loosened a piece of the ceiling and caused us to reveal our position before we could attack. We managed to escape with some minor injuries, but when we assumed we had lost them, we were ambushed and heavily injured. By this time, the tremors had stopped." She let out a heavy sigh before steeling her eyes. "They were about to rape and kill me before I was rescued by Ghost Ōgakari, who dispatched the entire team within a minute with unnatural ease, despite the injuries he received during his previous fights and his exhausted state…"

Many of the people present raised an eyebrow and several mutterings were echoing through the room. "He was injured?" Inoichi asked curiously. "How so? The reports from everyone who had seen him fight in the arena claimed he was uninjured during the entire event, and aside from the usual… activities he takes part of in the village, he has never been reported to have been even scratched during a mission." Several people noticed Anko and Hana blushing and looking away, attempting to look innocent.

Tsume shook her head. "No. Apparently, they didn't pay closer attention to his arms. As you know, Ghost's part in the battle against Manda was preventing his opponent's mouth from opening and staying on top of his head for the duration of the fight. What wasn't noticed was that his arms were dislocated multiple times doing so. When I had a better look at them, I was surprised he could even move them at all, let alone managed to place the kunai in his mouth which he used to dispatch the entire enemy team, or reach the radio around his neck. In addition to that, he insinuated that the… roaring technique he used took up a lot of his chakra due to the fact that he had to make sure that it was clearly heard both inside and outside of the village walls… as has been attested to by everyone in this room."

Many of the council members looked around and saw that all the shinobi there confirmed that they received the man's unique signal, regardless of where they were when it happened.

"Hold on…" Ōnoki grumbled. "You said that he had a kunai in his mouth that he used to take down the team that beat you. Do you mean to say that a single exhausted and severely injured man beat four experienced shinobi, without his arms, with only a kunai?"

The rest of the people in the room stared at the woman as she sighed and slouched in her chair. "Yes." She sighed. "He used some sort of technique involving a small bell that was tied to the end of his hair to distract and maneuver his opponents as he wished… while at the same time displaying speed and stealth skills that I doubt Gai and Kakashi could match. At one point, the enemy was in a defensive formation to cover each other's backs when the bell sounded right above them. When they looked up to see the source, he literally blinked into view crouching in between all of them before decapitating two with the kunai in his mouth enhanced and lengthened with wind chakra. The remaining one managed to escape, but became overconfident when he saw Ghost's condition and gave him an ultimatum… or at least he tried to…"

"Let me guess…" Kakashi sighed as he read his book. "As the man gave out his second option, a second Ghost appeared and killed him from behind, revealing that the first was a clone, correct?"

Tsume frowned as she glared at the copy ninja. "Yes. I assume that he's done that before?"

Kakashi shrugged. "It's one of his most used tactics. Naruto does it all the time, though there are usually more steps to it when dealing with stronger opponents or ones that are expecting something's off in the first place. To be honest, it's rather difficult to tell when you're fighting a clone of his or not because it's so hard to land a hit on the man in the first place, clone or not…"

Zabuza nodded with his arms crossed. "Yeah. It's a rather basic and common tactic among assassin types, but it requires rather high levels of speed and stealth to be used effectively against other shinobi due to our training." The man frowned. "Though I'd hate to admit it, the bastard beats me hands down every time when I try to put my assassination skills against his, and I'm fucking famous for being the best at the Silent Killing Technique."

"Yes… my grandson is rather talented at hiding and catching his opponents off guard when he isn't busy screwing around…" Grumbled a new voice from the entrance of the room. The rest of the people there turned to see Waltz, Shadow, Crypt, Scabbard, and a small again Zuzushi walk into the room casually. "I apologize for arriving so late after your summons, Hokage-sama, but I had to get my hands on the rest of my family after finishing up my latest surgery at the hospital… and stop Crypt from harassing the maternity ward…"

"The Mongolian army grows inside us… we are not safe anymore… look for the backup in the styrofoam lampshades…" The crazy man whispered cryptically before being backhanded by Waltz and getting his head stuck in a wall. "Hey, a mongoose! I'm going to name you Spoon. Come over here, little Spoon…"

Shadow sighed before looking at Tsume. "Sorry about that. Oh, by the way, I'm pretty sure Ghost was using his bell tricks when he was saving you."

"Bell tricks?" Sarutobi asked curiously.

Scabbard nodded. "Yes. They are one of Ghost's more favored and effective techniques for distracting and disorienting opponents. The amount of stamina required to use them is as varied as his uses for them, which are fairly extensive. That being said, it makes sense that he used some of the more basic ones when he was in the condition he was in at the time." The monotone man creaked out a smile. "In my opinion, it is rather entertaining and enlightening to watch him perform those techniques from the outside. It is a true testament to his skill, despite the simplicity…"

"Oi…" Shikaku grumbled with half dead eyes. "Where is said overconfident troublesome assassin anyways? Wouldn't it make sense for him to be here gloating about how 'awesome' he is?" He said awesome while making quotes with his hands, causing several people in the room to snort.

Shadow shrugged. "No clue. The poor bastard is still hiding from Hana and Anko." Said women blushed and looked away in an embarrassed manner. "He's surprisingly hard to find when he doesn't want to be found… though I have a feeling he's still doing something stupid as we speak…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Konoha, near the river:

The sounds of nature were all that was heard on the lonely pathway along the river, shaded by trees on the other side.

"… I'm hiding in a tree!" Someone hidden shouted. "… IT'S FUCKING BRILLIANT!"

o. o. o.

Back in the council room:

Waltz sighed as he sat down gently in a seat near the clan heads. "You know, you should really stop stating the obvious, Shadow…"

"Hoh?" Ōnoki mused as he got a good look at the new members of the discussion. "So you guys are those Ōgakari brats, eh? I gotta say, you gave us a damn good show a few days ago for a bunch of no-names."

Shadow pouted as she turned around and looked at Ōnoki, completely ignoring Sarutobi's waving hands that symbolized 'No! Stop! Don't! Please! I'm begging you!'. "Well, you listen here, you… you…" Her eyes widened. "Oh dear lord…" She turned around. "Scab! 20 seconds!"

The short man sighed and rubbed his head as he ignored all the confused looks the people in the room was giving him. "Fine… go." He said.

"Albino Oompa Loompa!" Shadow said quickly while pointing at the short kage.

"Super Minja!" Crypt gleefully yelled, as he appeared next to Shadow and tilting his head to the side. No one had seen the moment when he had dislodged his head from the wall.

"The Lollypop guild's grand elder!" The woman said way too eagerly.

"Pakkun!" Crypt crooned childishly. Kakashi face faulted.

"Oooh! Kernel Sanders' long lost second cousin!" Shadow shouted as she jumped up and down.

"Heheheh. He's short." Crypt giggled, getting frowns from the old man.

"Um… the bastard child of Santa Claus and one of his elves…" Shadow said as she put on a thinking pose.

Crypt stared at Ōnoki curiously. "… Grandma?"

"Damn it, Crypt!" Waltz roared. "I did not marry a short obese woman with facial hair!"

"Holy crap, he does look like Grandma!" Shadow said with wide eyes as she began to poke the clearly pissed off Kage curiously.

"Shadow? Not you, too!" The old man wept.

"I'm going to kill them…" Ōnoki growled as Rōshi and Kurotsuchi were busy laughing their asses off behind him. "Slowly… painfully… no remains…"

… and then Crypt landed on Ōnoki's lap. "Grandma! We missed you! Grandpa's been so mean to me lately! He can't even make your cookies without burning something! Plus, most of the time all he does is cry in some corner! He's boring!"

Before anyone could move or react, both Shadow and Crypt were blasted by incredibly large bolts of lightning that sent them into a nearby wall and burnt them both to a crisp. "Time's up." Scabbard sighed as he lowered his sparking hand and turning to Ōnoki, who was regaining his breath from having Crypt land on him. "My most sincere apologies, Tsuchikage-sama. A good portion of my family has a habit of mocking anyone and everyone that they come across. For individuals who have more… peculiar appearances than others, we have a rule set up. We allow them 20 seconds to let all their… thoughts out at once before Waltz and I deliver the appropriate punishment. This way, the subject of their mockery will get the worst of their insults over with quickly…" The man paused before he let loose another couple of bolts of lightning and practically fused Crypt and Shadow to the wall as black stains, causing everyone to jump. "… plus, I somewhat enjoy torturing those two, especially if I have a valid excuse to do so…"

Zabuza shivered. "He's a freaking sadist. A horrible monster with no heart whatsoever…"

"You are misguided, Zabuza." Scab countered with a soft but obviously condescending tone. "I do have a heart. It just so happens to enjoy going over the list of people who owe me money as much as I do."

The clan heads in the room sweatdropped. ' _Note to self: Never get into debt to the Ōgakari.'_

The short man turned to Ōnoki again and took a metal club out of his coat, holding it out to the somewhat confused leader handle first. "Although I have given you my reasons, I am certain that it won't be enough for what my siblings have done, so please, hit them with this as much as you want… so long as you don't do anything permanent. I still have uses for them."

Ōnoki paused before looking around curiously and confused. "You… you're serious?"

Waltz sighed. "The girl sets me on fire constantly for fun, and I just backhanded one of them through a bloody wall. Trust me. They won't take it personally, and I'll be able to heal them good as new in a minute… if I ever feel like it…"

Ōnoki looked around and saw that many of the people there were looking with only mild interest, as if they had seen this before.

Shadow started to giggle, despite being fused to the wall and being burnt black. "Oooh heheheh. I get it now. You called him Pakkun because he looks like Kakashi's pug. Hahahah. You know, he kind of does look like Pakkun now that I look at him closer with the drooping cheeks and the bags under his eyes… though his nose is slightly bigger…" BAM! The club that Ōnoki was holding flew through the air and slammed into Shadow's stomach, smashing her through the wall. "I regret nothing!" Shouted the winded woman from the rubble.

"Nice shot…" Mused Scabbard as he looked at the hole where his sister was once plastered to the wall with interest.

"Hah…" Ōnoki sighed as he got back into his seat, ignoring the amused looks everyone was giving him. "Much better." He turned to Tsume. "Now then, I believe that Inuzuka-san was giving her report before we got off track."

Tsume sweatdropped, as did everyone else, and decided not to question what just happened. "R-Right. Thank you, Tsuchikage-sama." She turned to the other shinobi again. "After Ghost dispatched of the team he managed to reach his radio where we then contacted Scabbard's assistant. Determining that my and my partner's wounds were too severe to overlook, they decided to call for my daughter's aid to heal us, since she was the most able shinobi vet in the village." She sighed before deadpanning. "While we waited, I attempted to talk to him about some… personal issues that we would have to discuss eventually. He, in response, pretended to pass out in an unconvincing manner, only to accidently land on one of his arms, hard, which caused him to react loudly before passing out for real." Everyone in the room sweatdropped and winced at the same time."

"That sounds like something he would do." Mused Waltz as he and Scabbard nodded their heads at the same time.

"Indeed. Brother tends to be very forgetful when it comes to his own injuries, even in the direst circumstances…" Scabbard agreed.

Tsume sighed as she continued. "Regardless, after the idiot passed out, Kuromaru and I waited for our backup for the remainder of the time. Luckily, none of the enemy found us by then, most likely due to the fact that Hokage-sama had already defeated Orochimaru by then and most of the enemy forces in the area had either run away or had given up by that point. Hana and Anko Mitarashi came and quickly tended to us in order of most severe injuries. Kuromaru was first, then me, then Ghost. Afterwards… well… I doubt anyone missed the screams the idiot was making as those two chased him around town…"

Everyone in the room sighed as they remembered seeing Hana and Anko chase the man with rage in their eyes for some reason at some point.

"Seeing as you two were mentioned in the latest report, could you go next?" Sarutobi asked Hana and Anko with a small grin. "I, for one, am most curious as to what our resident Snake Mistress and her friend… Hana of the Three Planes were doing during the invasion." The man gently smiled, causing Hana to blush as he acknowledged the young woman's prowess and her new title.

Anko stepped up with a swagger in her hips and sighed aridly. "Okay then, Hokage-sama. If you insist…"

Ōnoki chuckled as he leaned back and whispered to Rōshi. "She's got spunk. I like her…"

Kurotsuchi rolled her eyes and suppressed a groan as she heard her leader's remark.

Anko continued with her report. "Well, Zabuza already informed you guys of what happened before the invasion. We, meaning Zabuza, me, and Hana…"

"Oi!" Shadow yelled from the hole she was still stuck in.

"With a little help from Shadow as well…" Anko rolled her eyes before she continued. "Formed one of the pre-emptive strike parties and took out two clusters of roughly 25 shinobi each, one of which was assumed to have been tasked with summoning another of those snake summons that attacked the village. We pretty much butchered all of them and set up a load of traps behind the enemy's lines before we were asked to return to the village." She yawned and lazily waved her hand for Hana to continue.

The council members in the room all nodded in understanding since, like Anko said, Zabuza had reported this part of their involvement already. Taking a deep breath, Hana continued the report. "Slightly before the invasion started, Anko and I left the arena because we… believed we would be more effective in areas where the fighting would be heaviest and the least amount of civilians around, instead of at the arena…"

"You paused…" Danzō mused as he looked at the girl skeptically who fidgeted in her position. "There is another reason… isn't there?"

Before Hana or Anko spoke up, Tsume surprisingly made herself known again. "It's because I was there, Danzō." She grumbled. "Unless you weren't there too, you would have recalled young Ino Yamanaka announcing to the entire village that my daughter and Anko were both… dating…" She frowned as she said the word. "Ghost Ōgakari at the same time, in a rather unstable state…"

"Lucky bastard…" Grumbled Ōnoki as he inspected said girlfriends with a critical eye. "… very lucky bastard…"

Scabbard chuckled. "Ah, yes. That was one of my favorite parts of the day. While it is true that my family partake in rather questionable activities in public, I have rarely seen anyone in my family so thoroughly humiliated and embarrassed in front of a large audience by pure happenstance. I actually have the entire event recorded and intend to remind brother of it constantly…"

Waltz said nothing, as he was too busy trying to not laugh while hunched over. He wasn't very good at it.

"Regardless…" Tsume continued with an irritated tone. "I was not in the best of moods with Hana, Anko, or Ghost at the moment. This was their reason… and I expected to have a talk with all three of them after today's meeting… but I see that is still not possible…" Anko glared back at Tsume while Hana looked away ashamed.

Sarutobi coughed, desperate to change the subject. "Yes, well, we can discuss those matters later. If you would please continue, Hana?"

The Inuzuka heiress sighed as she attempted to regain her nerve. "Of course, Hokage-sama. As Anko and I approached the main front of the invasion, we saw the two snake summons that were causing the most issues for our forces. Jiraiya-sama made quick work of the first, but he was still taking too much time to get to the second, so Anko and I decided to handle it…"

"Hoh?" Chōza mused as he looked at the two women with a raised eyebrow. "So it was you two that took down that summon? I must say, I'm impressed. Not many shinobi can take down a summon that large so easily and efficiently. I saw glimpses of what was happening over there because I was using my Multi-size Technique at the time, but I still didn't get a good look." He smirked. "… However, I did hear that howl of yours… as did half the village."

Hana laughed nervously as Anko puffed her chest out proudly… while still somehow covering herself. "Ah… thank you, Akimichi-sama." The younger of the two replied before she continued explaining. "Anko and I used a tactic that was designed to take down large summon-sized enemies. First, I used my elementally augmented clan techniques to distract and agitate the monster. It should be noted that while we, being me and my companion triplets, were not able to do any significant damage doing so, the techniques did seem to be more effective than what had been used against the snake so far."

Anko stepped up. "While Hana was distracting the summon and ensuring that it was not moving out of the area, I was preparing to ambush it with my own techniques…" She lifted up one of her arms and several orange red vipers lazily peeked their head out from her sleeves. "When the time was right, I used these babies to trap the beast and keep it in place, restrain its movements, and burn it to kingdom come all at once. If needed, I could also perform a finishing jutsu once the target was restrained, but Hana had that last step covered."

Hana sighed. "When Anko restrained the summon, the triplets and I got into an attacking position. There I performed one of my new elemental wolf techniques, Kyūten no Ryōken no Jutsu (Art of the Hound of the Heavens), to finish off the summon. Immediately afterwards, I canceled out the technique due to its large chakra cost and regrouped with Anko, where we continued to fight on the front lines. Between the 5 of us, including my triplets, we must have taken out at least… what 7, 8 teams?"

Anko shrugged. "Eh. Give or take a couple, yeah, that sounds about right. Hana and her pups scattered them, then my summons and I picked them off while they weren't paying attention. Those poor bastards really didn't know what hit them." She stretched. "After that, well, it's pretty much what Tsume said. We got a call for Hana to heal the group up, we did so, then we decided to try and kill Ghost."

Everyone in the room sweatdropped as they listened to the end of the story. "Hana-san…" Shibi spoke up. "Judging from your new title and your recollection of the invasion, would it be correct to assume that you have a total of three elemental wolf techniques?"

Tsume's eyes widened as Hana nodded. "That is correct, Aburame-sama. The three techniques are aptly named Hound of the Heavens, Hound of Hell, and Hound of Earth. Each one has been labeled by Ghost-kun at least A-rank in power…"

 _'Hah. Nice use of words…'_ Scabbard mused without showing any hints of what he was thinking. ' _I saw you training with those techniques in our private training ground. Your Hound of Earth technique is possibly the most physically destructive jutsu in Konoha next to Naruto's Rasenshuriken, and even then, it has attributes that Naruto's technique doesn't have that make up for that lack of power. Even Ghost with his restraints off would be on the ropes if you used that technique against him… and that is something many would kill to achieve…'_

"Impressive…" Mused Koharu as she looked over the papers. "It says that you are currently labeled as a chūnin… are you by chance participating in the Jōnin Trials? We could certainly use your powerful skills for higher level missions…"

Hana laughed sheepishly. "Really? I think I'm still a bit rough in a few areas, Koharu-sama. Maybe next time, after things calm down a bit and I gain a bit more experience. I'm learning a lot from hanging around the other jōnin-sensei, and Anko and I don't want to change things just yet."

"Well, we look forward to seeing you take part in it soon, regardless… with recent events in everyone's minds, I wouldn't be surprised if you made special jōnin right now…" Sarutobi smiled gently before looking at the time. "It appears to be lunch time. I believe everyone here will agree with me when I say we all should take a break." A chorus of grumblings was his answer. "Well then, I call this meeting to recess for a temporary lunch break. All council members and those who have yet to report are required to come back. Anyone else in this room is welcome to come back, so long as they do so before the doors close."

As the population of the room started to decrease, no one noticed the small glances that several of the shinobi in the room were giving each other, or the small note that Scabbard slipped into Danzō's robe.

o. o. o.

Somewhere on a road connected to Konoha:

"So, who do you think she's going to kill first?" Jiraiya chuckled as he and Naruto walked to the village where Tsunade and Shizune were waiting for them. "My money's on you. I mean seriously, we heard her pissed off shouting during the Exams from several towns away. Plus, it is practically your fault that we're in this whole time traveling situation in the first place…"

Naruto shook his head in denial. "No way, Ero-Sennin. She's totally going to kill you first. You've already seen and talked to her again, and every time you two talk, you do something perverted that causes Baa-chan to wail on you. I bet that the first thing she does is suffocate me in one of those hugs that can literally break my bones, then you say something stupid and Baa-chan'll punch you through a wall or something while forgetting that I need to breathe."

The perverted man looked at the blonde boy with a leery eye. "I see you're desperately trying to avoid bringing up the fact that when she does hug you your head will be in the Promised Land between those two wonderful mountains of Tsunade's… heheh…"

Naruto deadpanned. "I've had over half a dozen perverted teachers since I started training to be a ninja, and my will to not be perverted still has yet to be broken. You will not convince me to go to the dark side, Ero-Sennin, and if you push the subject, I WILL make you regret it."

Jiraiya snorted. "Feh! Boy, you may have supposedly surpassed me, but there is NOTHING you can do that will make me regret trying to make you into a pervert…"

Naruto grinned evilly. "… I know you were watching the first exam, Ero-Sennin. Tell me, how did you like the… show… that I put on for everyone?"

The Sanin's face paled dramatically. "You wouldn't…"

The boy's smile widened. "Oh, I would… only with more clones. Think about it, Ero-Sennin. Your own harem of…"

"STOP!" The large man shouted wildly before hunching over and barely keeping his lunch down. "You… you win this time… damn you… I'll… I'll let up on the perverted stuff. Just… just never speak of that possibility ever… EVER again…" The man dry heaved.

Naruto sighed contently. "Ah. How many high ranked shinobi does that make it for me now? Let's see… That blonde bombing guy, that Itachi clone guy, that guy with the 5 hearts, Jiji, Nagato…" Naruto started counting off people on his fingers.

Jiraiya sobered immediately as the blonde mentioned his old student's name. "Hold on, brat… about Nagato…" Naruto looked up curiously. "Can you… can you tell me more about him? I only learned so much about him from our fight before… you know. I heard that you saw the real him… and learned what happened... what changed him…"

Naruto's mirth disappeared as he calmed down a bit and continued to walk to a nearby village. "Yeah… I get it…" He sighed as he looked up. "Nagato… to be honest, he looked like a complete wreck. He was skinnier than Sakura when she was on that stupid diet of hers, and he had a bunch of those metal rods in his arms and back… only the ones in his back were massive. His body was hooked up to this huge… metal… crab… thing that could shoot more of those rods out of the front." The boy tried to widen his arms to show how big the walker was, getting a smirk out of the white haired man.

"Sounds like something you would think of putting in your ramen in one of your dreams, brat…" The sage chuckled.

The boy snorted. "As if. The thing didn't look edible at all, even if you covered it in all the ramen in the world. I have standards, unlike you."

Jiraiya looked offended. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Please. The first thing that comes into your head when you come across any female is their three sizes. If that giant crab had a rack, you would immediately try to guess what cup it had. Look me dead in the eye and tell me that you didn't think of Konan's three sizes when you first saw her."

The sage snorted. "Please, give me some credit, brat…" There was a brief pause. "… Do you really believe I need to actually THINK in order to figure out what a woman's three sizes are?" He grinned. "Or are you curious about what my old pupil's measurements were?"

The boy stuck his fingers in his ears and walked away quickly. "La la la la! I'm not listening! La la la la! You can't make me hear you! La la la la!"

Jiraiya laughed as he chased after the boy. "Haha! Run as much as you want, boy! I'll make you a raging pervert yet!"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Kakashi sighed as he waited for Sasuke at the side of a very familiar tea house and read another one of his books. It amused him how people reacted to seeing him reading his new choice of literature. Before, many would just look at him skeptically and walk away slowly, or in the women's cases, grunt and glare at him. Now, even though most people had found out that the books he read still had literary porn in them, they simply sighed and rolled their eyes in his presence, or looked at the title of the book in case they wanted to read it later. Still, he was paying a small amount of attention to the two men sitting in the building behind him. God, he loved multitasking.

"Oi Cyclops." Grumbled out a familiar voice, snapping him out of his latest new source of… inspiration. "You know, one of these days you're going to be arrested for reading that shit in public."

Kakashi didn't move his eye off the book as Zabuza walked up with a bored look in his eyes. "Well, until that day comes, you're more than welcome to join me, Zabuza. I heard that Jiraiya-sama's coming out with another book soon."

The assassin snorted. "Yeah, right. Too bad Haku will skewer me if she finds out I've been reading that stuff in front of anyone…" The man turned to see Asuma and Kurenai walking their way. "Well, lookie here. If it isn't our resident lovebirds. The smokestack and the pink eye."

Kurenai frowned as she and Asuma made their way to the two. "Keep talking like that and I'll be sure to give you a black eye. The heck are you two doing here, anyways? I thought you don't like sweets."

Kakashi eye smiled. "Oh, I'm just here to pick a few things up. I'm meeting up with Sasuke, too."

"I heard he and Sakura managed to take down some jōnin before running into Kabuto…" Asuma mused as he puffed on his stick. "That's pretty impressive. He's gotten strong since he's become a genin. You think he'll be promoted?"

Kakashi shrugged. "He's more likely to get promoted than not, but his odds aren't as good as some of the others. He only managed to fight in one match, and while he showed much promise, but you know how judges can be sometimes."

"How are they?" Kurenai asked curiously. "I heard that they were both injured pretty badly from their run in with Kabuto. Injuries caused from medical techniques are among the hardest to deal with."

The Sharingan wielder sighed. "Sasuke is pretty much completely healed. He had an arm and a leg broken and he had exhausted his chakra supplies from that day, but thanks to the medic teams, he was able to make a full recovery. I'm preventing him from training for a week so that everything sets correctly, just in case."

"And the pink one?" Zabuza asked. "I heard she won more fights in the Exams than anyone else."

Kakashi chuckled nervously. "Yeah. Who would have thought, eh?" The man's shoulders sagged a small amount. "Sakura came back in rough shape. Many of the back muscles near her spine were torn, and one of her lungs was completely totaled. For a good while she was in the red, but our medics managed to save her. Her estimated recovery time is supposedly 5 months, but Waltz told me that he can have her out of the bed and halfway through her rehab within a few weeks. Which is relieving, to say the least…"

Zabuza chuckled. "I wouldn't say that too soon, Kakashi. Remember who the guy is. Odds are, the girl is going to be twisted in the head like the rest of her team by the time she fully recovers."

The pervert merely shrugged as he continued to read his book. "Who says she isn't twisted already?"

"I'm on the fence with that statement…" Claimed a new voice, drawing attention to the young Uchiha, who was walking towards the shinobi already there. "Just don't tell her I said that." He looked at Kakashi. "You're here before me for once. That's a surprise…"

Asuma chuckled. "Don't get used to it, kid. We aren't."

Sasuke looked into the tea house and saw that there was an empty table near them with dango and tea. He grimaced. "I don't like sweets, Kakashi."

Said teacher gave Asuma, Kurenai, and Zabuza a sharp look with his free eye. The three nodded and all disappeared with a shunshin. "Really, now. You don't?" The man replied casually, pretending nothing was happening.

Several minutes later, by the river:

The two men who were formerly at the tea house were casually walking down the road until the three jōnin stepped up in front of them. "You guys aren't from around here… or from Suna or any of the other visiting villages, if your clothes have anything to say about it…" Asuma mused.

"I find it odd that you managed to get into the village while we are currently under martial law from the invasion…" Kurenai stated sternly. "Who are you, and why are you here?"

The shorter one stepped forward. "Long time, no see. Asuma-san. Kurenai-san…" The man raised his hat a bit to show his eyes, causing the two speakers to widen their eyes in shock.

"You… you're…" Kurenai said while subconsciously preparing her body for any attack.

"Hoh?" Mused the taller of the two shinobi, as he glanced at Zabuza and took off his hat. "It seems as if you're not the only one that's having a reunion today, Itachi. It's been a while, hasn't it, Zabuza-kun? I see that Kubikiri Hōchō has a new look. I'm surprised. I never would have guessed that you would join up with another village after you desperately tried to kill Yagura back then." (ED: Kubikiri Hōchō is Zabuza's sword, Decapitating (Carving Knife/Cleaver))

Zabuza smirked as he grabbed onto his sword. "And look at you, Kisame. Still pretending to be last month's seafood dinner, forgotten in the back of the freezer." The blue man's eyebrow twitched. "I see Samehada hasn't changed much. You know, I've always wondered: what does it feel like to be less attractive than a weapon that reminds one of a scaled leech?" (ED: Samehada is Kisame's sword, Shark Skin)

"Kisame Hoshigaki?" Kurenai asked with a frown. "I've heard of you. You're wanted all over the Elemental Nations for the murders of several Daimyō and the suspected conspiracy of planning to destroy several countries." She shifted her eyes between the two cloaked men. "Two S-class criminals…"

"Asuma, Kurenai, please don't interfere. I don't want to kill you…" Itachi warned, causing the blue man to smirk.

"Seems like he's leaving your head's fate up to me, Zabuza-kun." The largest man there smirked. "What a shame."

Asuma snorted as he discretely slipped his trench knuckles onto his hands. "Forgive me if I don't believe you… you know, since you killed your entire family and all." He paused. "So what brings you two to Konoha dressed like that? You wouldn't be here unless you have some sort of goal…"

Crash. Kisame slammed the still wrapped Samehada into the ground between the two groups. None of the people there flinched. "These guys are annoying. Should we kill them, Itachi?"

Before Itachi could respond, a new voice made itself known. "Oi! Would you guys mind keeping it quiet? I'm trying to sleep while hiding here!"

All five of the people in the road turned to look at the origin of the voice, only to see Ghost hanging upside down from a tree branch. Both his arms were in slings, but that did not stop the man from swinging side to side with a pouting face on.

Despite the severity of the situation, Asuma couldn't help but sweat drop. "… Please don't tell us that you've been hiding there the entire time…"

Ghost grinned. "I was in this tree for the past 30 hours! Genius, is it not?" He turned to the Akatsuki members. "Who the hell are these two, anyways? One looks like Sasuke gone mega emo with all that eyeliner he's wearing, and the other looks like he was rolled around in a mountain of Clorox as a child." (A/N: Clorox turns your skin blue.)

Zabuza snorted as Kisame gripped Samehada tightly. "Oh hohoho! Rolled around in Clorox! That's a new one! I'm definitely saving that for later."

Itachi didn't say anything as he looked at Ghost emotionlessly with his Sharingan eyes, who seemingly stared back through his glasses. The two were silent for several seconds… before a large bubble appeared from the upside-down man's nose and he fell to the ground with a soft thump and sobering the mood immediately.

Kurenai swore. "Shit… he already took Ghost out…"

Asuma struck up a boxing pose. "Tch. I guess the guy isn't as immune to genjutsu as he claimed to be…"

Zabuza took out his sword. "Oh well. More for me."

Kisame laughed. "Well, I didn't get to kill him, but that works too…"

Itachi remained silent as he turned his attention back to the Konoha shinobi. ' _… I didn't do anything to him…'_ "Regardless of what happened to this one… they are reluctant to let us leave easily. Just don't go too far, Kisame, or else you might cause more trouble for us than needed…"

The shark man smirked. "Well, then… if that's the case…"

Silence claimed the area as the five shinobi glared at each other, each on edge and waiting to see who moved first.

In a heartbeat, Kisame had swung down Samehada in an attempt to take out Kurenai, only to be stopped by Zabuza's Kubikiri Hōchō. "Wrong choice, bait breath…" The mummified man growled as he parried the blade and Kurenai flashed through several seals. "You guys go after your homecoming king. Kisame's all mine…"

Asuma snorted as he attempted to slice off Itachi's head with a good punch. He didn't have to worry about actually killing his opponent, the kid was simply too good, but he was a bit concerned about the possibility that something could go horribly wrong.

Itachi, for his part, was not having that much trouble keeping up with Asuma. Even though the fight was indeed fast paced, the Uchiha's inhuman speed, aided by his eyes, made him virtually untouchable to Asuma's attacks, both physical and chakra based. The best the smoker was able to accomplish was nicking the younger man's clothing a few times. Glancing to his side, the smoker saw Zabuza and Kisame slashing and dodging each other constantly and laughing all the while before the swordsman on his side was kicked back. While he was distracted, Itachi mimicked his partner and forced the large man back as well. "You're slow, Kurenai…" The man grunted as he got his bearings again. Suddenly, the ground beneath the two assailants shifted and turned against them, wrapping around Kisame's feet and around Itachi's body, preventing them from moving.

Morphing out of the tree that was wrapped around Itachi, Kurenai held a kunai, poised to attack. "It's over…" She stated, driving forward the blade. The next thing she knew however, she was standing in front of Itachi and completely restrained by the same tree that she had materialized moments before.

"This level of genjutsu will not work on me…" Itachi mused as the tip of a blade was shown just below his sleeve.

Kurenai acted on impulse and flashed out her chakra to release herself from the illusion and jump back to avoid the attack. If it had been a year earlier, she would have had to injure herself in order to wake herself up, but the additional training with the other teachers had increased her control and reflexes substantially. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough, as the young man followed up his slash with a kick that launched the woman over the lake. She managed to block, but her arms were jarred for a few seconds.

"Heh… not bad girl…" Kisame chuckled as he felt the illusion restricting his movements disappear. "It's too bad genjutsu doesn't work on Itachi…"

"You're paying attention to the wrong person again…" Zabuza growled as he finished making seals while his sword was stabbed straight into the ground. Grabbing the handle with his left hand, the assassin opened his right and cocked it back. "Let me show you what a big mistake that was. Water Style! Purge Cannon!" The man slammed his palm into the pommel of his sword. The next thing anyone knew, a massive spinning stream of water easily 5 meters in diameter blasted out of the pommel of the sword and rocketed at the surprised Kisame. The attack hit dead on and barreled forward, tearing up the road as it did so for a good distance before it died down.

Asuma whistled, clearly impressed. "Not bad. He's definitely been preparing for this fight, that's for sure…"

"It appears as if your group is more capable than originally anticipated…" Itachi mused as he stood over Kurenai. "However…"

"However, this fight is over for you…" Stated a voice from behind him.

"Water Style!" Shouted a voice from the rubble of Zabuza's attack.

"Water Shark Technique!" Kisame's and another voice shouted at once. Immediately afterwards, two streams of water rose from the river and collided with each other with bone crushing force. "Eh?" Kisame mused as he walked towards the group curiously. Some of the wraps around Samehada were undone, and his coat was scratched in a few places, but other than that he looked ready to go. "Someone replicated my technique?"

"So you just conveniently arrived?" Asuma asked curiously to the Kakashi nearest to him and Zabuza.

"Back off, Kakashi. Kisame's mine. I have everything under control here." Growled Zabuza.

"Oh, I had no intention of interrupting your fight, guys. I had full faith in your abilities…" Said the Kakashi on land.

"Still… I was a bit concerned, so I decided to check things out…" Finished the second copy-nin behind Itachi.

"Kakashi Hatake…" The youngest of the group mused.

"Impressive…" Chuckled Kisame. "So that's how you replicated my technique. I never thought I would see someone with the same eyes as Itachi… you must be that Copy Ninja Kakashi I've heard so much about…"

Kakashi didn't let his guard down. "It's surprising, in a way. Two suspicious people in a tea shop, who just so happened to be Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki… it almost sounds like a bad joke, if you think about it."

"Better not tell the Ōgakari, then…" Zabuza grumbled. "They'd run it straight into the ground…"

Kisame lifted his spiked sword onto his shoulder. "You know my name… I'm honored."

"Don't get any ideas, Kisame. You're still fighting me here…" Zabuza growled as he dislodged his sword from the street.

The largest man started to chuckle darkly. "Keheheheh. This is a great chance for me to do some damage…"

"Kisame… stop fooling around…" Itachi ordered, gaining the attention of everyone there. "If we fight with everyone here, we will take too long and more shinobi will appear. We did not come to fight a war. Don't forget the mission…"

"Oh? What mission is that?" Asked the Kakashi next to Zabuza as it disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

Itachi turned to the real Kakashi. "We are looking for something…" He said quietly.

"And what would that something be, Itachi?" Kakashi asked in a dangerous tone as the two men glared at each other. Suddenly, Itachi's right hand dropped to show it was full of shuriken, but Kakashi's hands blazed at incredible speeds that reminded Zabuza of his fight with the man in Wave. Seconds later, a massive wall of water rose from the river around Kakashi to deflect the spinning drills that shot out just around it. From the wall, several more drills of water shot out at Itachi, who jumped away from Kurenai in order to dodge the attack.

"Impressive…" The Uchiha mused. "Your insightful eye is remarkable, Kakashi, and your speed is just as impressive." Shink. Another Itachi appeared behind Kakashi holding a kunai that was plunged into the silver haired man's back. "Am I right?" The new one asked.

"Dunno…" Mused a voice from behind the first Itachi, causing its eyes to widen. Behind it was another Kakashi with a kunai in its back. "You tell me." He said as the stabbed Kakashi turned into water.

"Hoh?" Kisame mused as he watched the fight with interest. "I didn't think there was a person outside of Kiri that could use the water clone so well." He turned to Zabuza and smirked. "Are you taking notes, Zabuza-kun? You could learn a thing or two from your friend… before Itachi kills him, at least."

BOOM! The Itachi that Kakashi stabbed exploded with incredible force.

"Kakashi!" Kurenai shouted in concern.

"Don't take your eyes off of him, Kurenai…" Ordered another Kakashi as he emerged from the water next to her, temporarily giving her a heart attack. "He's too dangerous to let out of your sights."

Kisame chuckled. "Well, well. That Kakashi was a clone as well? I take that back, Zabuza, you would definitely learn a lot from watching this guy. In fact… I think I'm going to switch fights now…" The blue man jumped to the river, prompting the other two men to give chase.

"Damn it, Kisame! Don't you dare run from me!" Zabuza roared as he landed on the river next to Kakashi.

"Impressive…" Itachi mused, completely ignoring his partner's antics. "Without having a single relation to the Uchiha, you manage to wield the Sharingan to that extent… however, your blood isn't like ours… that eye doesn't suit you…"

"Yet despite how much you are praising the Uchiha, you decided to destroy them all… aside from Sasuke. Sounds pretty hypocritical, if you ask me." Kakashi replied sternly.

"Sasuke?" Kisame asked curiously. "Who's that, Itachi? I thought you butchered your entire family like Zabuza-kun took out that entire graduating class."

Itachi closed his eyes. "Regardless of my past actions, it is time you realize why the Uchiha were regarded as the strongest. I will show you the Sharingan's true power…"

Kakashi's eyes widened. This was the moment that would make his day, or put him in the hospital for a long time. "Shit! Everyone close your eyes now!"

Asuma, Kurenai, and Zabuza didn't argue and immediately closed their eyes. "Care to enlighten us as to why you're having a heart attack, Kakashi?" Zabuza growled.

"Listen…" Kakashi said sternly. "Itachi is in possession of an incredibly powerful dōjutsu born genjutsu. It puts all the genjutsu that I or Kurenai can make to shame. If you get caught in it, the effects would be devastating, to say the least. Most likely, only another Sharingan can counter the effects of this technique enough…"

"That is somewhat true…" Itachi agreed. "As long as the target has the Sharingan… some resistance can be made… however, this genjutsu… Tsukuyomi… is special. Only another Sharingan user with the same blood as me could possibly beat me…"

Seconds later, Kakashi collapsed to one knee and panted heavily. "Kakashi!" Asuma yelled. "What the hell happened? You just fell as soon as this guy started talking!"

"Ugh…" Kakashi panted as he attempted to catch his breath. "It… isn't over yet… somehow… I managed to… make it…"

Asuma's and Zabuza's facial features momentarily twitched as Zabuza attempted to support the man with their eyes closed. Kisame didn't seem to notice, but Itachi did.

"Heh." Kisame chuckled. "That technique is used to break a person's spirit, isn't it? I'm surprised the guy is still alive. Still, shouldn't you be more careful about using your eye, Itachi? It's dangerous to you as well…"

"You… you still haven't answered my question…" Kakashi panted. "What are you after? Is it Sasuke?"

Itachi frowned. "No… we're after the Fourth's inheritance…"

"What?" Kurenai asked.

"Could they mean…" Asuma mumbled.

"You… you're after the Kyūbi… aren't you…" Kakashi panted. "You're… not the only ones either… your group's called Akatsuki… right?"

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Now how did you find out about our little club?"

Zabuza clicked his tongue. "Akatsuki? Fuck… I've heard of you guys when I was out freelancing… this is starting to get more annoying than I originally thought…"

"Kisame…" Itachi said sternly. "We're taking Kakashi with us. Make the rest disappear."

The large man smirked as he charged ahead. "Itachi, you just made my day!"

Zabuza swore. "That's it! I've had enough of this!" The bandaged man opened his eyes and charged forward and countered the larger and stronger man's sword with his own in a reverse grip.

"What's wrong Zabuza-kun? You losing steam already?" Kisame smirked as he found the man being pushed back rather easily… until he saw that the man had only one arm on his blade and the other drawn back to hit the pommel that happened to be right in front of his face. "Shit!"

"Time to drown a shark. Purge Cannon!" He roared as he slammed his palm on the pommel of the blade, causing another massive torrent of water to hit Kisame at point blank range and crash into the other side of the river. "I don't have to worry about that fucking eye if I'm not paying any attention to it. You'd think I'd know how to fight you annoying dōjutsu types by now after all that time going up against Kakashi."

"My friends! What unyouthful events are happening here?" Shouted a new voice, gaining the attention of everyone there.

"Great, the skintight spandex cavalry arrives. Huzzah…" Zabuza grumbled sarcastically as he jumped back and focused on where Kisame landed while Kakashi collapsed and sunk into the water.

"Gai, don't make eye contact with Itachi or you'll be hit with his genjutsu!" Asuma warned.

"I know!" Gai replied as he picked Kakashi out of the water. "I've trained to fight against the Sharingan, so I can beat Kakashi. Open your eyes! As long as you don't look at his face, you won't be hit by his illusions. Pay attention to his hands and feet, and work from there…"

"That's easier said than done, Gai…" Kurenai muttered as she and Asuma opened her eyes.

"So what's the plan, eyebrows?" Zabuza asked. "As it stands, you and me are the only ones that stand a chance against that Itachi kid… but there's no way in hell I'm just going to ignore Kisame when he's right in front of me…"

"I guess it's pointless to ask if there's bad history between you two…" Asuma mumbled.

Gai gave Kakashi to Kurenai. "Kurenai, take Kakashi to the hospital. Asuma, Zabuza and I will hold these two back to stall for time while the ANBU I called get here…"

An explosion from the other side of the river caught everyone's attention as Kisame landed next to Itachi, clearly more battered than he was before and just as irritated. A good third of his robe was shredded off and he had several scratches and welts all over his body. "Oh, now you've done it, Zabuza-kun. I was thinking of maybe letting you live with a few of your limbs cut off, but now…"

Zabuza readied himself. "Tch. I hit that bastard point blank and all it did was rough him up a little and piss him off."

"Kisame… stop…" Itachi ordered with the same monotone voice as normal.

"What?" His partner hissed angrily.

"We are not here to start a war. It is apparent that the Kyūbi isn't in the village. It is pointless to stay here anymore…"

Kisame glared at Itachi. "I finally… got excited. It's too bad…" He sighed as he put his sword on his back. "You brats don't know how lucky you are…"

"So you're running away then?" Zabuza growled.

"Zabuza! Don't push it! Having a full scale fight with these two in the village is the last thing we want right now!" Asuma yelled.

"One last thing before we leave…" Itachi added with his eyes closed. "I have heard rumors that Orochimaru has died. Are they true?"

Gai frowned. "Yes. Hokage-sama defeated him personally. There weren't even bones left after the fire died, and a sensor that was present was positive that his chakra did not escape the battle in any form."

"Heh. So he's actually dead, eh?" Kisame chuckled softly as he turned around. "Sasori's gonna be disappointed. He wanted to kill Orochimaru pretty badly after he left…"

With that the two men disappeared with a fast shunshin, leaving the jōnin there to contemplate what would happen next.

Some more than others.

o. o. o.

In a random training area in Konoha:

Sasuke panted as he analyzed the damage he had done to his surroundings. There were several holes and craters in the ground, and the large stone in front of him looked like a knife wielding maniac had gone nuts on a giant hunk of Swiss cheese. "Damn it…" He growled. "What don't I have?"

The Uchiha's mind had for the most part been surprisingly calm after the invasion… well, after he had talked to Sakura when she had woken up from her surgery, at least. The fact that his friend had laughed and shrugged off the fact that she had nearly died in front of him had replaced most of his rage and confusion with disbelief and dry humor… and more confusion. He just couldn't see why she didn't blame him for getting hurt. Any way he thought about it, it was because of him that she was put up against such a strong enemy in the first place.

It was then that Sakura hit him over the head weakly and explained that the two of them alone had to fight off three jōnin while protecting a civilian family in the middle of a war, right AFTER they had had several major fights in the Chūnin Exams. "Shit happens…" She croaked out. "Get used to it. Unless you had insane stamina reserves like Naruto, there was nothing you really could have done to change things. We're barely teenagers, Sasuke-kun. Give things time and get stronger… but don't forget who you are… and don't expect to win every time…"

The Uchiha took the words to heart. True, it was really common sense no matter who looked at things, but it still rubbed the boy the wrong way deep down. The only time it actually got to him was during the secret training sessions that he gave himself despite Kakashi's warnings to take things easy. The boy couldn't help it, though. Training was like a pastime of his. If he was frustrated, he trained. If he was bored, he trained. If he wanted to get stronger, he trained. Now though, every time he did so, Kabuto's smirking face popped up, and it was driving him mad enough to push himself to his limits every time he punched a post.

"Naruto… Naruto would have been able to deal with that situation…" The boy growled to himself. "He has the Kyubi in him… and with all that extra chakra…" He looked at the modified curse mark on his shoulder. Truth be told, the thought of using it did cross his mind during the event… but the lure of power didn't make him ignorant. Crypt had warned him that the seal was in a temporary incubation period. If he tried to use it within the next two remaining weeks, the seal would implode on itself and trigger all of the links it had to his body to go off as well, killing him. Normally, Sasuke would be willing to push the rules a bit if it was a normal-ish person talking to him, but this was Crypt. The guy had two modes, fucking crazy-scary, and fucking scary-scary. If someone like that is telling you to do or not to do something and he actually means it, you follow those orders without question and pray to god he doesn't eat you. End of story.

However, this massive internal conflict only happened when he trained. The rest of the time, he managed to remain calm, collected, and spoke in constant sarcasm.

Sighing to himself, Sasuke turned around and decided to visit Kakashi. The man had told him to come visit his place later right after the teachers left to do something before Kakashi went after them. The boy dashed through the village to get to Kakashi's apartment, taking in the sights of the village as he did so. While there was a fair amount of damage, for the most part his home had come out of things lightly. Even an inexperienced genin like himself could tell that things could have been much worse if their counterattack hadn't been so well planned out. Still, that didn't mean that there weren't unfortunates. He couldn't pass over a road without seeing at least half a dozen people in crutches or casts walking down it. Sighing to himself, the boy landed in front of Kakashi's building. "I guess medical techniques are handier than I thought… I should probably ask Hana or Sakura to teach me a few more in my training… it would probably help out with my control a bit so I can use my other techniques easier…"

The Uchiha walked into Kakashi's room, only to see the man lying in his bed, surrounded by an unnerved Gai, Zabuza, Asuma, and Kurenai. "Kakashi?" He looked around. "Why is he sleeping and you guys are in here like this? It's too quiet for me to think that you all ganged up on him for being an open pervert again…"

"Er…" Gai stumbled on his words. "It's nothing really, just a small jōnin exercise accident and um…"

Gai was interrupted as a chūnin ran to the room. "Hey! Did Itachi really return and is chasing Naruto? Is it true?"

"Oh boy…" Asuma groaned.

"Idiot…" Kurenai swore.

Sasuke on the other hand didn't say anything as he immediately burst out the door as fast as he could. Gai quickly chased after him.

"Kurenai." Asuma muttered. "Tell dad what happened here and make sure that it stays under wraps." He turned to the chūnin. "You, on the other hand, will get your stupid ass out of my sight and not say a god damn thing for the next week or I will personally use you as my training dummy. Got it?"

"Right!" Both said, one in fear and the other in obligation as they ran out of the room.

All three men there were silent before Zabuza spoke up again. "So, did the brat listen?"

Kakashi opened up his normal eye. "Yeah… but not before he managed to stab me a few dozen times in that genjutsu of his."

"So what's his take on everything?" Asuma asked.

"He's… willing to listen and go along with things… for now…" The man groaned as he managed to push himself up into a sitting position. "He's very skeptical… of course, for good reason… but the fact that we share the same enemy and goals… which he believed that no one knew of, helped convince him a small amount."

"I heard that last time this happened, he screwed around with the brat's head, big time…" Zabuza sighed. "It's what those insane bastards think is one of the main drives that caused him to go nuts that time. You sure to remind him not to do that this time? I'm not too keen on being around a mentally unstable person lusting for power. I'm having enough trouble being around overpowered mentally unstable people."

The cyclops sighed. "I failed him once, Zabuza. I made absolutely sure not to fail him again. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to face my teacher, my father, and my teammates in the afterlife…"

The large man sighed. "Geez. I get it already. You don't have to get all weepy and emotional on me."

Asuma raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of emotional, you were having trouble keeping your head on your shoulders, Zabuza. Care to tell us what happened between you and Kisame?"

The swordsman grunted. "Where do I start? Kisame was always an overconfident prick. Sure, he had the power to back it up, but none of the other Swordsmen… hell, almost no one in Kiri liked the guy. You couldn't go at least two weeks without hearing about how he butchered some random group that just happened to pass by him, and no one would do anything about it."

"Funny, many people would assume the same thing about you." Chuckled Kakashi.

The mummy glanced at the speaker. "Haha. Very funny. For your information, I only beat the living shit out of the bastards that pissed me off back home." He took in a deep breath. "Anyways, Kisame had always rubbed Yagura and me the wrong way. When Yagura took office, the blue bastard was constantly botching up big missions. He would get them done, sure, but he often killed just about everyone in the area as well. It didn't leave us with a good image. Then Yagura started to change… you guys know what happened as an end result: the Bloodline Purges. The weird thing was, Kisame not only became the front runner for the massacres, but we could tell that he knew more about what was happening than the rest of us." He frowned. "I had already adopted Haku before the Purges really began to gain momentum… and Kisame was the one who ratted us out to Yagura…"

Asuma whistled. "This… is one hell of a story."

"It gets better…" The swordsman groaned as he scratched the back of his head in a frustrated manner. "You guys know I staged that coup, right?" The other men nodded. "Well… to be honest, I had only joined it at the last second. I decided that Yagura had gone too far, and my home wouldn't last much longer if this kept up. So… the coup started, and I just so happened to be killing the most people there and got the farthest… so naturally, people thought I was the one who started the whole thing and wanted the title of Kage myself. As I kept on going farther ahead, the thought kinda appealed to me. You know, the ends and the means were all there anyways, so why the hell not. If I won, I'd bring things to a close, and get the hat as a nice bonus." His posture slumped. "Unfortunately, by the time I got to the office, I wasn't driven back by Yagura… but by Kisame. Yagura was simply sitting in his desk and staring at me with empty eyes… like he was in a dream."

Kakashi frowned. "So he was under someone else's control, like the Ōgakari assumed…"

"Yeah, and Kisame had been working with the guy behind the curtains the entire time." The man growled before he continued. "So, Kisame kicks my ass, to put it lightly, in front of my brainwashed friend. I barely managed to escape thanks to the fact that fish face sucked at navigating himself in the blind when I whipped up some mist. I get away and get some annoying tagalong leftovers from the coup, and suddenly people start calling me the mastermind of the entire cluster-fuck since I actually lived. I didn't feel like bothering to correct them by then, since the idea had become somewhat appealing, and the rest is what everyone else knows."

"Let it be known that Zabuza Momochi is known to go with the flow…" Kakashi chuckled weakly.

"Speaking of people who go along with other people's ideas, where's Ghost?" Asuma mused. "Did anyone check that bush after Itachi and Kisame left?"

The other two men paused and looked at each other momentarily before shrugging. "I didn't even know he was there." Kakashi weakly excused himself.

"He was hanging upside down in a tree when that Itachi kid hit him with a genjutsu and made him fall asleep." Zabuza sighed. "The idiot landed headfirst into a bush and didn't get up afterwards."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "… Genjutsu doesn't work on Ghost. I know. I've tried."

Asuma sweatdropped. "… do you mean to say that the idiot just so happened to fall asleep while staring at Itachi Uchiha of all people and fell on his head for no reason at all?"

All three men in the room remained quiet as they pondered the question. Soon enough, all three of them were covered in sweat drops. "The more you think about it…" Kakashi mused with a nervous chuckle.

"That… lazy… pathetic… no good fucking…" Zabuza started to rant.

"Hold on…" Asuma mused. "That still doesn't explain where he is. If he just so conveniently fell asleep…"

Kakashi sighed as he managed to take out one of his orange books from behind his pillow. "Whatever he's doing, we have no part in it, Asuma. Right now, you are simply guarding me until some more doctors get a better evaluation on my status… anyways, it gives us an excuse to not go to any more meetings for a while… though I doubt that there will be any at the moment, what with word of Itachi's return spreading around…"

Zabuza raised a nonexistent eyebrow. "What happened to you in that illusion, anyways? If what you said was true, why did you still come out looking like shit?"

The silver haired man lazily looked up at Zabuza. "Oh that? I simply sparred with Itachi in that world of his for the last 12 hours. It really took a lot out of me, you know. Itachi is known to be a prodigy after all…" He looked down at the book again. "Odds are, he's already planned out what to do for countless situations for when he encounters Naruto and during the bijū hunt in the next few years based on what I've told him. Even without his memories back, he will probably make the best possible choices. That's just the kind of person he is."

o. o. o.

Hinata stood in front of her clan's new council patiently as they talked among themselves. Personally, she was surprised it took them this long in order to get on to the topic of her development. The invasion had not even come close to her clan compound, and the number of casualties the clan itself had suffered was almost nonexistent.

"Hinata Hyūga…" Hiashi said with authority. "We have brought you to stand before us to receive your evaluation on your recent exploits, as well as question you on your developing skills. Depending on your answers, we will determine your current status in the clan and your future clan education…"

The girl stared back at her elders with a stern gaze, but on the inside she was very unnerved. Her father's wording about her future education was too vague to determine what would happen after the meeting. She would have to tread carefully. True, the clan was much better than it was before, but it still was a very strict and hard family regardless. "I… see…" She claimed, thinking about her next words and steps wisely. "What questions do you wish to ask me? I will try my best to give you adequate answers."

Hiashi nodded, understanding what his daughter had just insinuated. He had little doubt that several of the more experienced elders still on the council caught on to the girl's play on words as well. "First, allow me to express my feelings on your performance in the Chūnin Exams. While I am not one that is easily impressed, I must admit that your display of skill during your match against the Uzumaki boy was beyond any and all expectations that we had for you…"

"You have quite a range of techniques under your belt, young one…" Mused one of the original elders, one that tended to be uninvolved and quiet during most clan meetings. "Is it true that you created the ones that are not registered in our clan's archives?"

Hinata nodded. "Yes, all of the unique techniques I used in the exam are of my own creation, and like before, these techniques are protected by law. I am not obligated to teach anyone these techniques, even by clan law." She paused as she attempted to see if she could mark out any elders that may prove to be problems in the future from their facial expressions, only to come up with nothing as the elders remained stoic. "… However, due to the fact that I still have yet to explore every detail and aspect of many of these moves, it would be too dangerous and irresponsible for me to teach any of our clan members these techniques until I have explored their uses to a satisfactory degree."

Many of the elders nodded, agreeing with the girl's explanation, though somewhat disappointed that they were unable to access the girl's new skills. Only Hiashi and his mother caught the small play on words the girl had displayed in her speech. "You speak well, child…" One of the new elders commented. "No doubt you have been prepared for this kind of situation…"

Hinata bowed. "As clan heiress, I will be eventually be tasked with political missions that require me to speak like this. I have been taught to be polite and upstanding since birth here and it is second nature to me. My ability to maneuver myself in this kind of situation, however… developed with my recent training with the Ōgakari. As everyone here knows, they are rather talented in the art of misdirection." Several people in the room made a brief chuckling sound. "During my early training with them, they helped me with my self-confidence problems while at the same time developing my ability to think ahead and maneuver myself in a conversation." She paused before looking to the side in an embarrassed way. "N-Naruto-kun was my… you could call him my test subject for my earlier attempts."

Despite some of the disapproving looks on some of the other member's faces, Hiashi managed to crack a small grin. "I do not doubt you. The Ōgakari have long since proven that they are not above exploiting the boy for their own amusement…"

"Speaking of… the child…" Mused one of the more disgruntled Hyūga. "I would like to know more of the match between you and him before we reach an adequate conclusion on the subject. I am most curious to know how you managed to deal with that… technique of his and his master's…"

Many of the elders started to converse amongst themselves in agreement. Though they were eternally grateful for the clan for putting their clan on the right path, the presence of a technique that could effectively shut down and blind their bloodline limit was very unsettling to them.

Hinata took in a deep breath and calmed herself. Ghost had given her permission to tell them what she knew about the Seventh Sense technique and how she had managed to counter it, but only because the man was the definition of overconfident. She herself was nervous in the possibility that the weakness would be spread out if she told her family. "Before I begin… I would like your words… honorable elders… that this information will not spread outside this room…" She started carefully. "I don't want to place my friend's life in danger by telling you about his techniques…"

Hiashi nodded as he looked around. "You have our word that this information will be kept strictly confidential. You may continue, Hinata."

The girl nodded. "The technique is known as the Seventh sense. It can only be used by people with both a strong wind affinity and exceptionally large chakra reserves, although additional training and conditioning is required to perform it as well. It enables the user to be constantly aware of anything around them so long as the air is touching it by forcing their chakra into the air and making it linger while still keeping a connection to it. With some practice, it can also be used to sense others by chakra signature. In its passive state, the user's range is limited, but still active, acting much like our Byakugan to some degree. Depending on the skill of the user, the range varies. Naruto-kun's range I think is around 400 meters now, and Ghost-sensei's is about one kilometer."

Many of the clan elders were grumbling avidly at the new information. "You said that this was their passive state ranges…" One elder commented. "Do you know of what their max ranges are?"

Hinata shook her head. "No, I don't… but judging from what happened a few days ago and from what I've heard… I think it would be safe to assume that Ghost-sensei's range can reach well over 40 kilometers, since his… roar, was clearly heard even outside the village…"

Even Hiashi was unnerved by that statement as he realized what his daughter was talking about. "I… see. Indeed… your statement does make sense… please continue…"

Hinata sighed. "While the Seventh Sense's main task is to provide additional sensory and awareness to the user, it also enables him or her to control and or manipulate the air within their range with unnatural ease. Sensei has more than once used it to reduce the amount of noise he makes when he moves… even though he is already incredibly silent as he is, and adjust where other sounds seem to come from to disorient his opponents during combat. No doubt he has other uses for this aspect for the technique, but I have yet to learn of them, or it would take too long to list them all out…"

"What about during your match?" Another elder asked curiously. "How did the boy manage to blind us so easily if his chakra was already there? And how did you manage to surprise him if the technique is supposed to make him aware of everywhere the air touches?"

The girl took in a deep breath as she knew that she was going into dangerous grounds now. "The reason why we were blinded by the technique… is because Sensei and Naruto used a technique referred to as Presence. It is apparently an advanced form of killing intent that is mixed with high levels of chakra control to produce a much more oppressive feeling that supposedly reflects the user's true nature. Sensei has used it several times on me and my fellow genin during our training in order to test our resolve and our wills, to make us stronger and more decisive in case we are caught in a large fight. I have heard it is somewhat similar to opening the Eight Inner Gates when it comes to its effects on the body, but it is also a very draining technique… also, if you know what it is, you can identify the user, so it is not used that often…"

"This… Presence…" Another Hyūga elder mused. "Have you ever felt it from one of the other Ōgakari?"

Hinata froze as she remembered her encounter with a very bloodthirsty Crypt after the preliminaries. "Y-Yes…" She fumbled as she remembered the horrifying experience. "I… I felt Crypt Ōgakari's Presence… once… in the hospital after that incident involving that spy… and I also felt Waltz Ōgakari's Presence once while training…" She swallowed heavily. "I… I would prefer not to talk about those experiences…"

The adults in the room looked at each other with frowns on their faces as they watched Hinata's reactions to the question. "… Hinata…" Hiashi started carefully. "If possible… I think it would be best if you would describe those feelings to us… in case we encounter them in the future…"

The girl nodded as she took in a deep breath. "Crypt Ōgakari's presence is in a word… bloodthirsty… in its literal meaning." The adults raised their eyebrows. "The man's nature is unstable to a terrifying degree… yet its core remains remarkably stable. I… believe it is similar to staring down a raging beast that is trying to accomplish something…" She looked around. "It is when he is using his Presence… or most likely when the time calls for it, that he is… coherent… of the world around him, and his personality changes. He becomes calmer, but more violent. Articulate, precise… almost regal in the way he carries himself, but also extremely twisted and very dark. I would almost say that he's another personality if the level of insanity between his two… moods… had actually changed much." She paused. "However… I have only seen him like this once, so I believe he does not… become like this often."

The council room was filled with low muttering as they processed the information. It was a bit unnerving that the person that created their seals was a complete psycho, but then again, until recently they themselves were enslaving members of their family. "What would your recommendation for dealing with Crypt should we encounter him like this?" Hiashi's mother asked curiously.

Hinata swallowed heavily and remembered what the man had told her in his sane state. "My advice… is to not get in his way or antagonize him in any manner. Like I mentioned before… his presence was the pure definition of the term bloodthirsty. He… he did not seem to be the type to ensure that those involved with whatever he was doing would remain unharmed if they were in the wrong place at the wrong time… unless they have his interest. However… I believe most people would act this way regardless if they ever encountered him as such…"

"Hmmm." Hiashi mused as he processed the information. "I will keep that in mind. What about the elder's… Presence?"

Hinata looked to the side nervously and started to shiver. "I…I wasn't even close to him when I felt it… but it was strong… very strong. I… I couldn't even breathe or move when I was hit by it. It was like I was at the bottom of the ocean with all the pressure focused on me… and something massive was looking down just out of my sight. It was… completely overwhelming." She shook herself. "Sensei explained to me that Waltz-sama has the strongest Presence that they know of. Later, I found out that almost all of my other classmates had passed out from the event as well, as well as a couple of my other sensei…

"Hm…" Grunted one of the younger elders of the council. "I… remember experiencing a feeling like that briefly during the invasion. I was in the arena fighting near where Hokage-sama was dueling Orochimaru when I was overcome with an overwhelming sensation originating from the barrier. Using my eyes, I saw that Waltz-san was focusing his chakra in a peculiar way to match his killing intent. I presume this is this… Presence… technique that you have been talking about." The elder sighed as he sat back down into his chair. "Regardless, after listening to her descriptions of the technique and how they feel, I am willing to back up her claim with my own experiences."

"Getting back onto subject, though…" Hiashi interrupted as he looked down at Hinata. "How were you able to counter the technique during the exams? Because of the boy's chakra flowing everywhere, we could not see what happened exactly..."

Hinata shuffled in place. "I… I managed to counter the Seventh sense thanks to… Ghost-sensei's help… He taught me how to create a pocket in the air with Kaiten, which would negate the chakra in the air that Naruto had… and in my Daioh Kaiten, I managed to close a large amount of distance between Naruto-kun and I without him noticing until it was too late…"

This had the elder's attention. "You… you mean to tell us that the creator of the technique himself told you what its weaknesses were and how to exploit them?" Asked one of elders dubiously.

Hinata nodded. "Y-Yes. He didn't seem to be all that concerned with informing me about possible ways to counter the technique. In fact he seemed rather anxious to see if I could think of or create any other possible methods. It was also apparent during my match with Naruto-kun that Naruto was not informed of any of these possible counters…"

"That devil may care attitude of his will be the death of him…" Grumbled one of the elders. "What purpose does it serve to inform others of your own weaknesses?"

Hiashi frowned. "… no… actually it makes sense…" Gaining other people's attention. "The man was using Hinata to analyze the countermeasures in a controlled environment…"

"Father…" Hinata interrupted. "Sensei informed me of what he was doing before I even started my training. He knew that I would eventually inform you of this trait, but, well… he didn't seem to care much regardless. He said it was better and safer to work on your weaknesses and flaws against allies than enemies…"

The council remained quiet as the words sunk in. The man was indirectly guilt tripping them while giving valuable advice at the same time.

 _'I hate it when he does things like this…'_ Hiashi mentally grumbled as he looked around to see the minute insecure changes in many of the council member's faces. "Well, then…" He coughed. "It is relieving to know that the Ōgakari consider the Hyūga clan to be allies. No doubt we can expect to have more interactions between our families in the near future…" He cleared his throat. "Moving on… I am quite curious as to how you managed to produce enough chakra to perform your… Daioh Kaiten. As you are now, I cannot see how you pulled off such a feat without accessing your Inner Gates…"

Hinata nodded before taking out her crystal necklace. "On my last birthday, Sensei and Naruto-kun gave me this. According to Sensei, it is a special stone made by Crypt-san that can absorb and store large amounts of chakra and other energy for incredibly long periods of time. When I received it, Naruto-kun had already stored a large amount of his chakra inside it." She looked to the side with a very slight blush on her face. "The first time I used it for training… I… accidentally almost suffered a case of chakra overload. That was actually the first time I performed the Daioh Kaiten… it was completely by accident…"

Many of the elders chuckled. It was common knowledge that some of the most useful shinobi techniques were created by accident or happenstance. "Hinata…" Spoke one of the female elders. "What are your goals for the future?"

The girl looked around before putting on a calm face. "I… my goal… has already been fulfilled, elder." She paused, getting odd looks from the other shinobi there. "My dream was to find a way to join our clan together and to put a stop to the Caged Bird Seal. My entire life, I had to watch as our family slowly destroyed itself from the inside, as family members looked at each other with disdain… even sometimes killing intent. I couldn't take it… my own cousin, who I looked to as a brother, even considered me an enemy…" Many of the elders shifted in their seats, uncomfortable at being reminded of how bad their family relations were. "Now, though… I don't really know. I'm thinking of training to become a medic-nin so I can help others, but other than that and some personal goals of mine… my future is rather blank… I apologize if my answer is a bit vague, but I haven't had much time to think about it with the exams and our recent clan changes."

"Hmm…" Hiashi mused as the other elders conversed among themselves. "Hinata… in your honest opinion, how strong do you believe you are… and how strong do you see yourself on becoming in the future?"

The girl looked back at her father with contemplating eyes. "… I believe I have a chance of becoming a special jōnin in the next year if I focus completely on that task, should I be given my vest after this exam… though I believe I still require much more experience and skills in various fields before I can comfortably secure myself in that position." The elders nodded, accepting the girl's answer as an adequate response given what they have seen and any possible skills she has yet to show. "As for the future…" She continued, remembering what Naruto had to face soon. "I… wish to become strong enough to at least pose a decent deterrent to anyone who may threaten those who are precious to me…"

Hiashi frowned a bit. ' _She knows about the Akatsuki… her goals for herself are quite immense… however, if her progress so far has been any indication, she may just be able to reach that level of strength within that timeframe…'_ "I see…" He said sternly, staring back at his daughter with unwavering and understanding eyes. "You have set some high goals for yourself, daughter. The shinobi world is an unforgiving place, with many powerful individuals. As time passes, there will be no doubt that some of them will eventually set their sights on you or your friends, especially after the demonstration you put on several days ago. I am certain you are aware that you cannot protect everyone all the time. Are you sure this is what you want?"

Hinata looked back at him with determined eyes, ones that Hiashi had not seen in his daughter for a long time. "Yes, father. I am aware of that, which is why I am training to become an accomplished medic in addition to furthering my other skills in order to ensure that those who are hurt will have a better chance of coming back alive. I have practiced basic medical techniques and making medical salves privately for years now, but it was only recently that I was able to learn jutsu on the subject from Hana-sensei."

"I am well aware of many of your opinions of a Hyūga going down the road of medicine, and to be honest, I am disturbed by how shallow some members of this clan can be. Tsunade Senju-sama is part of a clan that was greater in honor than our own, yet not only did she become a medic, but by doing so she became renowned as one of the best kunoichi in the Elemental Nations. Hana-sensei has more than once complimented me on my progress and has claimed that our eyes are one of the best possible tools a medic could have. To say that studying the art of medicine is below us is the same as saying it's okay to allow our friends and allies to suffer and die in front of our eyes, and that is something that will never pass through my lips."

"That is… a rather bold statement, young one…" One of the new elders said with inquisitive eyes. "Are by chance saying that our clan teachings on the subject have been misled?"

The girl looked back sternly. "Yes." She replied bluntly. "Although it is obviously not the greatest error our family has made over the years, it is still a large one that no doubt would embarrass and dishonor us greatly if it were known to the civilians and lower ranking shinobi, who would no doubt disapprove of us putting our pride before the safety of those who we are fighting for."

There was much arguing and discussion among the council as they agreed and disagreed with the girl's statement. Though the council was changed, many old habits were hard to change, especially with ones as old and strict as themselves. "Well, then…" Hiashi sighed, hoping to steer the conversation somewhere before his daughter digs her own grave. "What would you do, daughter? Though you claim you are progressing well in the medical field, there is only so much you can learn before it starts to use your time saved for other tasks, such as combat practice and your duties to the clan…"

Hinata sighed. "With all due respect, father, I believe I have proven that I can spend less time on my combat practice than normal and still be capable enough to give even a special jōnin a difficult time. Of course, I will make my clan duties my highest priority, but at my age they are still few and far in between, and so should not cause many issues with my training and my missions. To be honest, I have seen multiple people in the clan that would serve both the village and us more efficiently as medics rather than front line soldiers. While they appear to be less proficient in our clan's taijutsu than the majority of us, they none the less have managed to display the same amount of chakra control, if not more than their peers. I believe that these individuals would be perfect for sending into the new medical program that I have heard that will be established soon…"

"Medical program?" Hiashi said curiously. "This is the first I have heard of this, and I am in the council… Is this another one of the Ōgakari's plans?"

Hinata blanched before nervously looking away. "I… I wasn't aware that you didn't know, father…" She hesitated. "I… I don't know much myself… but Ghost-sensei and Waltz-sensei have occasionally mentioned that someone is coming to the village soon that happens to be a medical expert that would start off the program soon after she gets here. I barely heard her name spoken one time… but I think that they were talking about Tsunade-sama…"

The elders gasped. "Tsunade Senju?" One wheezed. "She is returning?"

"This indeed is something worth noting, Hinata… one that you should have mentioned earlier…" One of the elders chided. "Had you not mentioned the Sannin's return, we would have remained skeptical of your idea… but if it is Tsunade-hime in charge of the program…"

Hiashi remained stern as he processed this information. "Hinata, how soon do you believe Tsunade will be here?"

Hinata looked to the side nervously. "I… I don't know. I think I heard Ghost-sensei say that Jiraiya-sama and Naruto-kun were going to get her soon after the Exams… but other than that… I can only give a guess and say at most a month. They did not seem to be worried about getting her to return…"

"The Uzumaki boy again?" Complained one of the more stubborn elders. "It is like the Ōgakari are trying to stick him in the middle of every important event."

"Indeed…" Mused another, more lenient elder. "However, you cannot deny that the child has been gaining some credibility since his admission into our ranks. If the rumors are true, he has already defeated a special jōnin from Kusa, helped Kakashi defeat Zabuza, he is already an accomplished sensor, he aided many of our civilians evacuate during the invasion, then there were his fights in the Exams against Hinata-san and Uchiha-san, which were more than exceptional, and I have heard from some of our clansmen that he helped a Kusa platoon retake control of one of the main roads of the village from a large squad of Oto shinobi… plus, there is no doubt that he is taking after his master in both skill and personality… though whether that's a good thing or not is still to be determined…"

Several grunts of agreement sounded off in the room. Hiashi sighed as he saw his daughter try to maintain her temper as the other men unknowingly insulted her crush in front of her. "I believe that this conversation would best be shelved for a later time, when we have more to discuss on the subject. For now, it is easy to say that my daughter has given us more than enough to discuss for the next few meetings. Hinata, in recent days, you have displayed tremendous amounts of skill and dedication on multiple fields. This meeting was yet another test to see how you are developing. Though you have shown that there is still room for improvement before you are ready for diplomatic meetings between clans, you have also shown significant dedication and insight to the clan. As of right now, you are still the heiress of this clan, and shall remain so unless you desire to pass this title to your sister, or if you prove yourself unfit for the position." His eyes softened a bit. "You have grown much, Hinata. I look forward to seeing how much you will accomplish in the future…"

o. o. o.

That night, in the Ōgakari Compound:

"What the FUCK!" Shadow roared as she slammed Scabbard against the wall. "I thought we were going to turn Naruto into my next new plaything after the invasion?!"

Scabbard frowned. "And risk having him run around the village and increase his chance of running into Itachi and Kisame early? I thought you were smarter than that, sister…"

The irate woman let go of the calm man. "Tch. Fine. I'll wait a few more days. But if that brat isn't here in two weeks, I'm grabbing Crypt and dragging him to the kid myself! I don't care if he's locked himself in his room again, I swear I'll…" She paused. "Hold on… he locked himself in his room again?" She turned to look at Scab, who was staring back with a poker face on. "Okay… what did I miss?" She sighed in a resigned tone. "Crypt has done hybrid fusions so many god damn times that he can do it in his sleep. What did he find in the kid's seal?"

The intelligent man straightened out his clothes before walking towards his room again. It was one of the more secure rooms in the building, seeing as the door handle had a charge with an incredibly high frequency current running through it. Regardless of how much power one put in their hands, unless they matched the frequency of their energy with the handle, the owner would get jolted in a way that could easily cause a healthy man's heart to skip more than a few beats. "Crypt apparently found something interesting with the chakra used to write the seal. It didn't match Minato's, this world's Shinigami, or Naruto's chakra, however there were oddly enough traces of the Kyūbi's chakra mixed in, even though the source was clearly human. Crypt was checking out a sample of the chakra source earlier… but right now, he's off doing a small errand for me." He opened his door to reveal the multiple machines, tubes, screens, and computers that laced the walls of his room. The view distracted the girl from seeing the evil smirk on the man's face. "I'm going to check our… sources…" The man and woman couldn't help but snort a small amount at the statement. "To see if anything new has come up recently…"

Shadow laughed. "Hah! Oh man, I wonder how those guys would take it if they found out we know so much about them because they are used as characters in a manga…"

Scabbard shrugged. "Could be worse, Shadow. They could have been made up OCs for fanfiction."

The woman shuddered. "Don't joke like that, Scab. It's creepy to just think about something like that." She slapped herself in the face before following her brother. "So… Ghost is off doing… whatever he's doing… and Waltz is still doing rounds in the hospital?"

The green haired man nodded. "Yes. He's making plenty of progress, but he still has to work overnight again. It doesn't help that he's been keeping an eye on that Kin girl as well…"

Shadow's demeanor darkened. "…You think he's going to start volunteering at the orphanage again?"

Scab sighed as he took out a scroll and unraveled it to reveal the beginnings of a long and complicated document. "… He'll take things one step at a time, sister. So long as things are kept in moderation, we will have nothing to worry about. We have our comforting activities, and Waltz has his. Just remember to help him out once in a while…"

The woman nodded as she walked out of the room again while the man continued to write on the scroll. "Hey…" She mused in a depressed tone. "I've always been meaning to ask… I mean since I wasn't there for… that time for Waltz. Who snapped worse? Him… or Ghost… when Sasha… you know…"

"You know better than I do that that kind of question is beyond anything I can answer, sister." Scabbard said sternly with his pen in his nonmoving hand without looking up. "Both suffered enough during those times to lose control of their powers, which in essence are enough to even pose a significant threat to Zuzushi. The difference in those powers and the damage they caused was irrelevant. Those two are the most mentally stable out of all of us. The fact that they lost control of themselves is enough to not ask any more questions…"

"Yeah…" The woman sighed as she walked away. "Sorry about that… forget I asked." She paused for a moment. "Hold on… you said you sent Crypt to do an errand for you… as in, by himself?"

"Yep…" The man replied in a monotone voice before the door closed between them.

Shadow blinked curiously at the door for several moments. "Damn it… something extraordinarily horrible is going to happen to someone, and I'm not there to laugh at them."

o. o. o.

Root Headquarters:

Danzō sat down in his office breathing heavily as he went over the information he had been given in the past few days. His mentor, Tobirama Senju had been resurrected by Orochimaru… and then brought over to his side by the Ōgakari of all people… and then remained in the village for a good 9 hours before disappearing again… and the entire time, he had been hiding in his private bunker, waiting for the fighting to stop! Then when he asked Sarutobi about it, the bastard had the nerve to tell him about enjoying a few hours with the dead man and talking about the old days, before apologizing for not being able to find him before his teacher turned to dust again!

If that wasn't bad enough, not a single Ōgakari had come close to dying in the invasion. In fact, the blasted family had practically made an entire show of the entire event! The village's support for them was growing at an alarming rate, and even some of the other shinobi villages were taking notice of them as well!

Orochimaru's death was both a good and bad thing. True, the Sannin was no longer around to reveal some of his more hidden activities, but it also deprived him of another possible branch of actions and resources he could have used in the future. Plus, he had knowledge of only a couple of the man's hidden laboratories' locations. If the man had recorded his deals with the elder… his only hope was that the information was destroyed or lost in the oncoming days…

But no… the icing on the proverbial shit cake that just made the man's day was that Itachi had returned… if not momentarily. He was no fool. Danzō knew exactly why Itachi had shown up, and it wasn't to kidnap the Uzumaki boy, even though that would have been a definite plus at the rate the child was progressing. No, Itachi had shown up specifically to remind him that the boy was still alive, and that Sasuke was still off limits… not that he would have been able to touch the boy anyways, with the Ōgakari around. He shivered at the thought of Itachi actually coming into contact with the obscene clan… and noticed a small piece of paper falling out of the folds of his clothing.

The man instantly froze. He had been in enough wars and espionage missions to know that he could have easily been killed right there and then. Quickly making a shadow clone, the man backed up to his door as the apparition slowly and carefully opened the letter… only to find it was just a letter. Grunting to himself, the man walked forward and grabbed the paper from his clone, which dispelled itself, and read it. By the time he finished it, the paper was almost illegible due to the fact that it was crumpled between his shaking fists.

_Dear 12 Eyes,_

_Thanks for the entertainment during the invasion. We thought we were going to be bored out of our minds fighting only small fry, but thanks to you, we had a blast. It's too bad you didn't get a chance to talk to Tobirama after the fighting ended. Oh well, that's what you get for being a pussy that locks himself in the basement whenever things get rough._

_On to business, though. While we were spying on your ROOT program, we happened to notice one kid that uses drawings as ninjutsu. To be short about it, we want him. Talk to some people, pull some strings, do whatever the hell you normally do, but get him in the genin program. We'll do the rest. If you don't, well, let's just say the Yamanaka and the Aburame will start to become really curious about the whereabouts of some of their more prominent clan members. Take your time, but make sure that it's done by the time the new chūnin are announced._

_Well, that's about it. Have fun doing whatever the hell you normally do, and remember, a smile can make all the difference._

_From,_

_The Ōgakari clan_

_P.S. It would be best if you covered your eyes and mouth. It tends to go for the face a lot._

Danzō growled angrily as he crumpled the letter in his hands and shredded it with a wind technique. They knew. Those foreign bastards KNEW he had hired Orochimaru to kill them _the entire time_ , and they THANKED him for it! Those pompous, childish, FOOLS! "I will get them…" He growled. "I will play their game for now… but soon enough, I will catch them with their guards down, and when I do…"

"Cluck cluck…"

Danzō wasted no time as he threw several shuriken at the source of the odd sound and hit the edge of his bookshelf. He didn't hit anything alive, but soon enough, something small near the ground moved out from behind the shelf and into the light. The man frowned as he laid his eye on a black chicken staring back at him. "A chicken?" He grumbled to himself. "They pay me back by sending a chicken after me?" He turned away and threw more shuriken at the bird in one motion. The satisfactory sound of metal hitting flesh met his ears as he walked to his desk to signal for his ROOT agents to clean the mess… only to find the chicken standing by the legs of his chair behind the desk. Quickly glancing to his side, he saw his shuriken lying on the ground among some blood and black feathers.

"Cluck cluck?" The chicken sounded curiously as it maintained eye contact with the man.

The internal warning lights were now going off full blast as Danzō slowly moved away from the chicken. He was somewhat glad that no one was watching this right now… he would be the laughing stock of the village if someone saw him moving away from a chicken. Moving to his door, the man made sure that the bird was not following him before opening it quietly.

"Doom…" spoke out a garbled voice from the other side of the door, causing the man to jump back again to see… the chicken looking at him from the hallway with dark beady eyes.

There was no escape.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Garg. Sorry if the second half of the chapter was a bit dry. I kinda didn't expect to have some of the parts running for as long as they did. Other than the obvious funny parts and the Itachi bit, this was a rather empty chapter in my opinion. Expect the next one to be more fulfilling.

So, the manga is proving to be interesting again. The anime's quality is going up next week, and I'm going to Israel in a few weeks.

Is it me, or has there been a distinct drop in quality fanfics this week?

So here's how things are going to turn out soon. I am going to use SOME of the movies and SOME of the filler arcs in this fic. Not a lot, just a few, in order to expand on some characters and give me more time to plot out the timeskip.

That's it for this time, guys. I'll try to make the next one come out faster. Till then, worship the Log, review, hope for more good stuff to come out soon, and… I dunno… have some bacon I guess. Seriously, that stuff i d, good.


	46. This is normally the part in most fanfictions where the authors start pulling shit out of their asses as if it were gold. I don't pull gold out of my ass, I pull fucking diamonds.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 46: This is normally the part in most fanfictions where the authors start pulling shit out of their asses as if it were gold. I don't pull gold out of my ass, I pull fucking diamonds.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

In the hotel Naruto is staying in:

Our favorite jinchūriki sighed as he continued to meditate on his bed while his clones continued to read up on some books relating to the physics of gasses… otherwise simplified as 'how air works'. There were a lot of annoying math equations in it, but the boy wasn't focusing on those. He was more interested in the theoretical properties. Many of the theories listed as impossible in the book were proven wrong by the boy's Seventh Sense, and even though the boy could only translate about a third of what the hell the book was trying to tell him, he was learning that there was more to his ability than he expected.

The reason why Naruto had such books on his person was once again thanks to Ghost. Even though the blonde desperately wanted to learn more moves that can blow things up, the elder and more immature male surprisingly disagreed and gave the boy the books he was reading. Even though Naruto had the basics of the Seventh Sense down pretty well by now and had also mastered his Presence to a certain extent, the boy had yet to explore some of the more complicated and interesting uses of the techniques that could prove useful later on. Ghost had yet to say what those uses were in particular, but he did say that the books that were now in the boy's possession would give him hints as to what his next few steps were.

Of course being the slightly slow boy that he was, Naruto had yet to come up with anything, even with the use of clones. Grumbling to himself, the boy continued to read.

_Pressure is one of the fundamental variables of gas physics. Unlike liquids or solids, gasses can be compressed or expanded to many times their previous volume without much change to their chemical structure. Such pressure changes on a large scale, along with temperature differences and the positions of intervening land and sea masses, are frequently the causes of weather changes, and also dictate the general direction of wind flow. On a smaller scale, pressure changes can be manipulated to enable flight for animals. Birds are an example of this. The wings of birds are different on the top and on the bottom. The top of a bird's wing is smooth and streamlined, allowing wind to pass over it without causing the air to become disrupted. The bottom of a bird's wing, however, is rather rough and uneven. This causes the air under the wing to become agitated and move in various directions with slightly increased pressure, including up against the wing. This upward force is what enables a bird to remain in the air even when it is no longer flapping…"_

Naruto blinked as he re-read this explanation several times over and looked at the diagram that went along with it. "… This… kind of makes sense…" The boy mused as the words slowly came together in his mind. "So… I guess this means that if I practice… calming down the air under the wings… I can make birds and things like that not fly anymore if they're in my range…that's pretty cool, I guess…" The boy mused as he thought about how he could use this skill in a fight.

"I don't think it would work that much against Shino's bugs. I mean they fly and all… but they're also pretty fast on the ground as well… I could use it against Sai's giant birds… but he's not with us at the moment…" He slowly grinned. "Oh… but then there's that bomb guy in the Akatsuki. He makes tons of flying things with that exploding stuff of his… hell, even the bird things he ride on are made of the stuff." The boy chuckled to himself evilly as he imagined a chibi-Deidara screaming (grunting included at the end of every yell) as his bird flapped uselessly trying to stay in the air before it hit the ground and exploded, taking its master with it. "Oh, I gotta learn how to do this now…" The boy laughed as he wrote down another possible use for his Seventh Sense and the general idea behind the new move on a nearly empty scroll. So far the only things included on the list were basic ideas the he had no doubt were already used in other jutsu, such as compressing large amounts of air to unleash a large blast and forcing so much air into a person's body that their lungs blew up… but this new idea was much more interesting.

The boy's comedic daydreaming was cut short however when an odd sensation in his Seventh sense caught his attention. Bits of his range were… disappearing in a single small area that was gradually approaching his current position, as if his chakra was being eaten by something. Alongside the front of whatever was eating his chakra was a somewhat familiar chakra signature. "Tch…" The jinchūriki growled as he instantly knew what was happening. "Pack up, guys… they're here."

Outside the apartment:

Itachi frowned as Kisame's sword started to make some noise and move on his back. "It would be best if you kept your sword under control, Kisame. I had assumed that you had better mastery over Samehada than this…"

Kisame, in a backup Akatsuki uniform to replace the one that Zabuza wrecked, grumbled as he grabbed onto the handle of the blade. "I'm trying, Itachi, but it looks like Samehada has been eating some extra chakra from somewhere. You know how it gets when it has a certain amount of chakra in it. The thing is, I have no clue where it could have gotten it from. The only people it feasted on lately were that smoking guy and Zabuza-kun back in Konoha, and we both know that it's not dumb enough to try and take chakra from you or me…"

"Forget it…" Itachi mused as they stopped in front of the door their target was in. "We will figure it out later, after we deliver the Kyūbi and make sure that we are away from the Sannin…" He knocked on the door several times before waiting patiently. On the other side of the door, the two could hear the shuffling of someone clearly not the size of an adult or the skill of a decent shinobi. Itachi knocked again for good measure.

"Yeah, yeah. Keep your panties on, I heard you…" A young voice muttered as the owner opened the door to reveal a blonde boy in a black hooded sweater with a large orange tie dye spiral on the front and back. The boy froze as he looked at Itachi and recognized the Sharingan. "Wh-who?"

"Oi Itachi. Do you actually think this brat is the Kyūbi?" The large blue man asked from behind the man. "He seems a bit on the small side for someone that's supposed to be holding that fox…"

"Naruto-kun, we would like you to come with us…" Itachi asked in a polite tone that did nothing to hide the underlying threat.

Naruto gulped before chuckling nervously. "H-heh… So you're Itachi? No wonder the teme is so obsessed with getting stronger." He looked between the two men. "I'm having trouble figuring out who's the bigger monster here… m-man, I'm screwed aren't I?"

Kisame smirked. "Not bad, kid. Most idiots would instantly think that I'm the more dangerous person just by looking at us, but you can tell that something's off. Too bad that it's pointless to figure it out, since both of us are against you…"

"If you would be so kind as to come out of the room now…" Itachi asked politely, ignoring his partner's musing. Naruto slowly obliged the red eyed man as he slowly positioned himself between the two men.

"Well, then…" The tallest sighed as he grabbed onto Samehada. "I say we take off one of the brat's legs just to make sure that he doesn't run away. I'm still feeling a bit… peckish from today's skirmish in Konoha…"

"It's been a long time, Sasuke…" Itachi mused, catching the attention of everyone there and causing them to turn their eyes to the boy down the hall, which was glaring back at them.

"Well, this is certainly an interesting day…" Kisame chuckled. "This is the second time today I've seen someone besides Itachi using a Sharingan…"

"Itachi…" Sasuke growled as he took out his sword with his fully developed Sharingan active. "Let Naruto go… or else I'll kill you…"

"Oh?" The elder swordsman snorted as he raised an eyebrow. "So this is that younger brother you mentioned earlier, eh? He doesn't have a bad look in his eye… didn't you say that it's rare for someone in your clan to unlock all three tomoe before their late teens? He should still get his eyes checked, though. I'm surprised he's thinking of coming at us with that small sword when I have Samehada here…" His eyebrows momentarily rose as the boy channeled fire then lighting chakra through his sword, causing it to hum dangerously. "… well, now… this is certainly something new…"

"Itachi… I will beat you… and I will find out what the hell really happened that night…" Sasuke growled as his sword grew brighter. "But before all that, I'm going to make sure that you don't get your hands on that idiot of a teammate of mine."

"Don't fight him, you idiot! Can't you see that these guys are fucking monsters with those eyes or yours?" Naruto warned through gritted teeth, opening and closing his fists at an alarming rate as if it were a nervous habit. "If you want to save me, get the white haired pervert Jiraiya here, NOW!"

The lone boy on the other side of the hallway snarled as he bowed his head slightly so that the shadow of his hair covered part of his face. "Sorry, dobe. You know how I would react when I finally saw Itachi again…" Sasuke suddenly charged forward, grinding his sword against the wall next to him, revealing both a clean slash and deep burns around the part where the blade met the structure of the building.

"Channeling two elements at once in an object?" Itachi mused curiously as his brother came closer.

Naruto growled as he shook in rage. "You… STUPID… boom."

Itachi and Kisame only had a fraction of a second to translate what the blonde had just said before their target exploded between them with impressive force. Itachi, being the faster of the two, managed to escape in time by jumping through the doorway that Naruto left open. Kisame, unfortunately, was not so lucky. Being that he was slightly behind Naruto when Sasuke appeared, the blue man was blown back by the explosion at an angle and skidded against the wall for a good distance.

Sasuke on the other hand, had both his arms up and had stopped in time for the explosion that he knew was going to happen. With his Sharingan active, the boy had seen everything in the hallway, including Naruto's rapidly opening and closing hands, which symbolized an explosion. If the back of the hand was facing him, it meant that the blonde was warning that he had the bomb in place. If the palm was facing him, it meant that the boy was asking for his teammate to blow something up. Those two signs were among the first Team 7 had learned early on in their training… they couldn't risk not knowing them with Naruto and Ghost laughing and blowing things up all the damn time.

The young Uchiha coughed as he looked up for his annoying friend. Almost instantly, said boy crashed through the wall next to the door that Itachi disappeared behind and slammed into the hallway wall with a grunt of pain. As he landed on the ground, the boy somehow managed to jump towards Sasuke just before a flurry of shuriken embedded themselves where he was once kneeling. Skidding to a stop next to his friend, the boy spat out a small glob of blood. "Good, you're still alive. For a sec there, I thought you had missed my signal and actually tried to kill Itachi."

Sasuke snorted as he stood straight up. "As if. I am going to kill him eventually, but there's no way I can do it now…" Naruto noticed the Uchiha's hands slightly shaking. "You weren't kidding when you said they were monsters, dobe. That blue guy has more chakra than you do… and Itachi… well, we should both know by now that he's probably more dangerous than the other one… I probably would have been killed if I had actually tried to charge in head first like that…"

Naruto frowned as he pushed himself off the ground. "Oh, yeah. Your brother definitely isn't a pushover, Sasuke. I could tell his chakra is fine tuned to an absurd level. Even without training, you can feel his Presence if you know what to look for. His speed is just as ridiculous. If I wasn't used to training with Ero-nii, I'd be skewered on the wall right now. Watch out for the shark guy, though… I don't know if it's his sword or him, but something is eating up my chakra in the air like candy…" He took in a deep breath. "Teme… unless Ero-Sennin gets here soon, we're properly fucked. These guys are as strong as that snake bastard back in the Forest of Death… if not stronger."

"You little brats! That was my last coat!" The blue man growled as he got back up, showing that the front of his jacket was indeed thrashed, revealing that he was not wearing a shirt underneath and that he was in fact blue all over.

Naruto couldn't help but laugh. "Hey, look. The blue guy is an exhibitionist. Why else would he not wear anything under his coat?"

The young Uchiha let off a snort. "Heh. Do you think he talks to Anko?"

Kisame growled in rage as he clapped his hands together. "You brats are going to regret saying that. Not only do I have to pay Kakuzu that annoyingly high price for two coats now, but you have the nerve to get on my bad side as well… Water style: Water Bullet!" The blue man shot out a large ball of pressurized water from his mouth down the hallway at the two boys.

Fortunately, Naruto had already been forming seals of his own. "Shit, this is close! Earth Style: Earth Wall!" He yelled as he spat out mud in front of him that crossed the entire hallway. Milliseconds later, the mud shot up, transforming into a thick rock wall that sealed the boys off from the men and barely defended the blonde and his friend from the oncoming water attack. Even though earth ninjutsu is naturally strong against water ninjutsu, the thick wall still received some decent damage even though it was not penetrated.

"Kisame. We were ordered to bring the Kyūbi back alive…" Itachi lectured quietly as he walked back into the hallway. "Remember our orders…"

"I know already!" Kisame yelled as he charged at the wall with Samehada in his hands. "It's not my fault these brats are better than we thought!"

Crash!

The shark man burst through the weakened wall with unnatural ease… only to find himself dead center of a rather large napalm fueled fire that had been set on the other side… followed by another earth wall blocking his way, which he crashed face first into. "God damn it!" The blue man roared in pain and frustration as he clapped his hands together. "I've had enough of these kid games! Water Style! Suigadan!" (Water Fang Bullet)

A spiraling drill of water shot out of Kisame's mouth and tunneled through the hallway and the rock wall, smothering out the fire nearly instantly and catching the retreating boys off guard. The children managed to escape with glancing blows as they dodged to the side of the attack, which continued to plow through and take out part of the building.

"Damn it…" Naruto swore as he picked himself up. "I thought that would have held them off for at least another few seconds… Teme, all right?"

Sasuke coughed as he picked himself up and momentarily held his side. "Yeah… somehow. Too bad your plan didn't work, dobe. All it did was piss him off. We should use Firestorm…"

Naruto shook his head as he kept an eye on Kisame as he walked over the rubble of the second wall. "No. I still don't have enough control to keep it within the hallway. If we tried it now, we could kill practically half the people in the building, and even then it probably wouldn't be enough to get these guys off our backs… plus, it would only give them reason to start using THEIR large scale jutsu, and I'm willing to bet that they know more of those than we do and can use them more often…"

"Well, well…" Chuckled a familiar voice from behind them, shocking the boys and prompting them to turn around to see another Kisame standing right behind them. "It looks like you brats have decent heads on your shoulders after all… it's too bad that I'm going to change that…" The second blue man was just about to swing his sword when he was stopped by Sasuke's electrified hand plunged through his stomach. Seconds later the killed man turned into a puddle of water.

"Chidori…?" Itachi mused as he stepped next to Kisame, who was past the second rock wall by now.

Naruto smirked as he turned around again. "Not bad, teme. Did Kakashi-sensei teach you that before the Exams?"

"Yeah…" Sasuke answered as his hand turned back to normal. "It was an emergency ace that was meant for the invasion. I can only do it a few times a day, though…!" The boy's explanation was cut short when Itachi practically teleported and reappeared in front of his brother. The two stared into each other's eyes for a few moments before Itachi attempted to sucker punch his brother. Sasuke barely managed to dodge it in time, but was caught off guard when the elder spun rapidly and kicked the younger boy across the wall and nearly out of the hole in the wall that Kisame had made, despite the fact that the younger of the two had managed to bring up his arms in time to block. Before the defensive boy could start to get back up again, Itachi was already on top of him and pinning him to the ground.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled worriedly before trying to run and help, only to be cut off by Kisame.

"Foolish little brother…" Itachi mused. "You are still too weak to compare to me…"

Sasuke grit his teeth. "Of course I'm still too weak, you back stabbing asshole! I'm only 13! I've barely hit my growth spurt yet! How the hell could we beat you in our current states?! I thought you were supposed to be a genius!"

Kisame couldn't help but snort at the boy's response. "You know, he's got a point there, Itachi…"

Itachi's response to the rather valid counter argument was to blink momentarily before pushing his victim's arm further up against his back, causing him to hiss in pain. "… Regardless, you will not catch up to me at this rate, little brother… you do not hate me enough… you do not have the same eyes as me…"

The boy couldn't help but let loose a small snort. "Heh. As if I'd follow your instructions to kill you. Something is seriously messed up if you actually think that makes sense." The boy frowned as he remembered a small private conversation he had with Waltz Ōgakari not even two days earlier. "I've seen what revenge does to people, BROTHER. I have seen what it can do in its entirety, and I'd rather die before turning myself into something as pathetic as that." The boy smirked as he started to speak in a much quieter voice so that Itachi could only hear him. "So tell me… who are you so afraid of?"

The elder Uchiha frowned noticeably. "… You believe I of all people am wary of someone? Clearly you do not value your life as much as you should, coward…"

"Cut the crap Itachi…" Sasuke hissed in a combination of anger and pain. "I want nothing more than to gut you where you stand, but I know something else is up. You killing my clan, just to test your potential? Telling me to live only for revenge? You're supposed to be a genius, but even the dobe could tell that you were making no sense whatsoever. You go through all that trouble to test yourself and run away from Konoha, but you don't fight or kill some other high ranking shinobi in all the time you've been away?" He grunted as he turned to look at his brother in the eyes. "No… You're nowhere near as insane as everyone thinks you are… I can tell just by looking at you… and I know for a fact what an insane person looks like."

"If you two are done catching up, we have a job to do…" Kisame mused with a very violent grin on his face as he raised his sword above his head with a downed blonde in his sights. "This brat put me through a lot of trouble, and it's time for me to collect…"

Clang!

The moment before the sword hit Naruto, a large armored toad appeared out of thin air and blocked the blade with its arm guards.

"You know, for S-ranked shinobi, you two are pretty bad at getting information on other strong shinobi…" Chuckled Jiraiya from behind Kisame, carrying an unconscious woman on one of his shoulders. "I'm much better at attracting women than they are at getting me. You could say it's one of my… specialties."

"If by attracting you mean having them chase you in a bloody rage when they find you peeking on them in the baths, then yeah, it's one of your specialties…" Grumbled Naruto as he managed to pick himself up and spat out some blood. During the conversation between the Uchiha, Kisame had taken the liberty of beating the ever loving shit out of the blond boy.

Jiraiya struck a pose, clearly ignoring what the boy had just said. "This fine specimen of ultimate manliness bows down to no woman! All I have to do is flash a small portion of this incredible body and the women all flock to me like flies!"

Silence.

"Dobe…" Sasuke grunted from underneath Itachi. "Why the hell are you traveling with this idiot?"

"Shut up, Teme. I thought I could get some serious training from someone who wasn't a raging pervert or a freak of nature for once and blackmailed him into taking me with him with my harem technique. I didn't find out about this part of his personality until it was too late…" Naruto grumbled irritably. "Freaking Ero-Sennin…"

Jiraiya frowned. "How many times have I told you not to call me that in public, brat? I would slap you halfway across town if our friend here didn't do the job already…"

Kisame chuckled to himself. "Heh. Jiraiya of the Sannin, eh? I'm honored. Everyone knows you love beautiful women… but we didn't think that our simple method would stall you for long anyways. It looks like you've already undone the genjutsu that Itachi put on that woman."

The eldest man in the hallway glared at his opponents. "You went through all that trouble to separate me from Naruto… you really are after the Kyūbi, aren't you?"

"So you guys are Akatsuki, eh?" Naruto mused to himself as he breathed heavily. "Ero-nii wasn't kidding when he said you guys would be insanely strong. Makes me wonder what you want to do with fuzz butt…"

"No wonder Kakashi knew of our existence…" Itachi mused. "Both you and another man are clearly aware of us…" He paused. "To capture the container of the Kyūbi alive… that was the task set to us by our organization's leaders… Akatsuki…"

The toad blocking Kisame's sword disappeared as silence claimed the area.

"It's too bad you're not going to get Naruto…" Jiraiya growled. "Because right now… I'm going to kill you both…"

Itachi instantly jumped out of the way down another corridor as a spiked white maw charged at him and crashed into the hole that Kisame made, preventing any escape... but not before dislocating and breaking the Sasuke's arm in a single swift motion. "Foolish little brother…" Itachi sighed in the same monotone voice as Sasuke hissed and yelled in pain. "If you truly desire closure… ask your Third about what I have done to our clan. Maybe then you will see the truth and that your only choice in life is to kill me… or die trying…"

 _'So he's giving the old man permission to tell Sasuke the truth, eh?'_ Jiraiya mused as he made some seals and slammed his hands on the ground. Instantly, the entire hallway's structure transformed from wood and paper to muscles and tissue. "Hidden Art. Toad Mouth Bind…" The man chuckled as Kisame and Itachi instantly went on guard. "Congratulations. You two are now officially my summon's dinner. I hope you're grateful Iwagama! These two are high quality cuts!"

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled as he ran towards his injured teammate.

"The hell you're getting away, brat!" Kisame yelled just as he swung his sword at the boy to try to cut off his legs… only to miss as the target suddenly burst forward with no previous indication whatsoever. "The hell?"

 _'That was close…'_ Naruto thought to himself as he ran. ' _I almost didn't have enough chakra in the air around me to pull that dash off…'_

"Kisame!" Itachi yelled as he jumped to dodge a developing tentacle. "We're leaving!"

"This just isn't my day…" The largest man swore to himself as he dislodged Samehada from the hungry ground and chased after his partner around the corner. As they ran towards the end of the hallway, the blue man noticed that the walls were converging on them. "Oi Itachi. These walls are moving pretty quickly… at this rate…" That was when he noticed his partner had his eyes closed for something.

Boom!

Jiraiya frowned as he ran past Naruto and Sasuke and turned the corner to see where, as he expected, there was a giant hole in the wall laced with black fire around it. ' _No matter how many times I look at it, that Amaterasu technique always sends shivers down my spine…'_ The man shuddered as he canceled out his toad technique and turned around while grabbing a scroll and a brush. "You brats alive?"

Naruto collapsed onto the ground. "No thanks to you. What the hell took you so long? Was my exploding clone not loud enough for your aging ears to pick up, you old bastard?" The boy momentarily glanced at the black fire in the hallway. ' _It's similar… but I can tell that its worlds apart from Ero-nii's fire… '_

"I've been better…" Sasuke grunted as he held onto his right arm. "Unless I get back to Konoha and have Hana or Waltz look at me, I'm not going to be able to do any fighting for a while, though…"

"Be glad that's all the damage you took, boy…" Jiraiya grumbled as he wrote down a large and complex seal on the scroll in front of him. "You know better than anyone how easy it is for Itachi to kill someone." He formed a tiger hand seal. "Sealing Art. Fire Seal. Highest Rank." Suddenly the black fire in the building warped and flew through the air into the seal. Instantly after the last of the embers disappeared into the scroll, the sage rolled it up and tied it shut. "Oi, brat with broken arm. What can you tell me about the technique your brother just used?"

Sasuke grimaced as he looked at the old man, who he could clearly tell was not someone he wanted to mess with at the moment. "It… it's called Amaterasu. It's one of our clan's secret techniques that can only be unlocked with the Mangekyō Sharingan. I don't know much else about it other than that it's extremely powerful and supposed to burn for 3 days and nights straight, regardless of what it's on…" He paused. "However… I'm pretty sure that when it's used, it only burns whatever the user's eyesight is focused on."

"Man…" Naruto groaned as he relaxed next to his friend. "You really weren't kidding when you said your brother was the best. I could barely keep track of his movements. It was like going up against Ero-nii when he was completely hammered and forgot to hold back that one time… and that fish head guy…"

The remaining Uchiha glared at Naruto. "Gee. Thanks for the vote of confidence, dobe…"

The blonde smirked. "Any time."

"All right, you two. If you're done having that tea party of yours, we can start cleaning up this glorious situation we've gotten ourselves into." Jiraiya grumbled as he walked to the pair. "First, we have to explain to the owners of this place why there are three huge craters and a burning gash in this building, and then we have to get YOU…" He pointed to Sasuke. "Who, might I add, most likely left the village without authorization, to the nearest medic to get that arm of yours taken care of…" Whatever Jiraiya was going to say next was interrupted as a kunai flashed past him and embedded itself into a nearby wall. "Why am I suddenly fearful for my wellbeing...?" He mused as he turned around… only to get a rather large foot implanted in his face.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

o. o. o.

On top of the building:

Ghost sighed as he lay on top of the hotel facing the sky. "So that's Amaterasu…"

Moments later, the extremely old and partially deaf landlady opened the door to the roof to hang the clothes that she was washing. There was no one there.

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"So, care to explain to me what the hell is going on right now?" Shikaku grunted in a bored tone as he lay next to his son on a random hill in their family deer pasture… one that at the moment was not covered in deer droppings.

Shikamaru sighed as he looked up at the sky with a bored look on his face. "You do realize that my answer is going to be as absurd as the people it's related to, right?"

The father snorted once. "That goes without saying…"

The boy frowned a small amount. "I'm serious, dad. You're going to have to open you mind a bit more than normal in order to down this excuse. Even I still have trouble believing all the crap that I'm stuck in half the time because of it…"

"Stop beating around the bush and spill it already, Shika…" The scarred man sighed. "You make it sound like you're an alien or a time traveler or something absurd like that…"

Silence.

Shikaku looked down at his son to see the boy sweat dropping and looking away guiltily. "… Please don't tell me it's the one that will make me think you have green skin and tentacles…"

The boy deadpanned. "… Troublesome…"

o. o. o.

The next day:

Sarutobi and Ōnoki sighed as they walked down the street alongside their entourages. "I apologize for the unfortunate events that happened while you were visiting, Ōnoki…" Sarutobi said.

The shorter man waved his hand dismissively. "Bah. Forget it, Saru. These have been some of the most interesting days I have had in years. Sitting in that chair and doing nothing but paperwork for so long was doing more damage to me than all the assassins that've tried to kill me for the past 20 years!"

"I have no objections to that statement." The Hokage chuckled. "So am I to assume that you are leaving soon?"

The Tsuchikage sighed. "Yeah. As soon as we get some food in our stomachs, we'll be off. I heard that the guys who sold ramen at the arena have a stand around here somewhere…"

Sarutobi raised an eyebrow. "You mean Ichiraku's?"

Ōnoki nodded. "Yeah, that place. I had some of it right before the festivities and decided to have a second helping before we leave. That was really some good stuff they had there… speaking of which… I think we're passing it right now…" The man mused as he and Sarutobi looked to see the stand before immediately changing directions and passing through the flaps.

"Welcome to Ichiraku's!" Teuchi greeted as he focused on cooking. "How may I… Hokage-sama! What an honor it is to have you back here again! What can I get you and your friends?"

Ōnoki sniggered. "It seems as if I'm not the only one who likes the place."

"Hello Teuchi. I'm just walking my friend the Tsuchikage as he leaves the village. We're just here for a quick lunch. I'll have a miso ramen if you would…"

Teuchi gaped as he looked at the smirking smaller man. "Ts-Tsuchikage…sama?" He stammered as the two old men and their companions got into their seats.

"About damn time someone addressed me with some respect in this village…" Ōnoki sighed to himself. "Yeah, that's me. Get me a beef ramen and make it quick. I've been away from my desk for too long, and I want to try and forget about all that paperwork that's waiting for me when I get back."

"I'll have the same thing my boss is having." Rōshi sighed as he took a swig of his personal stash of booze.

"Shrimp." Kurotsuchi said bluntly as she looked at the several pictures of famous customers (and Naruto) that were hanging above the serving area.

Several more orders were placed from the Hokage's and Tsuchikage's group, which snapped the middle aged man out of his stupor. "R-right. Hold on just a moment." He ran into the kitchen. "Ayame! We have a big order! Ready at least half of the pots!"

A young girl's voice was heard from the kitchen. "What? Did Naruto challenge the Akimichi clan to a ramen eating contest again? I thought Hokage-sama forbade him from doing that again after he had to get his and three other Akimichi's stomachs pumped!"

Sarutobi snorted and chuckled nervously as Ōnoki looked at him curiously. "Naruto… isn't he that blonde brat from the Exams?" The shorter of the two asked curiously as he noticed the pictures of him sitting next to an impressive number of ramen bowls giving the peace sign.

Hiruzen coughed. "Yes… well… um… as you can see, the boy is rather partial to ramen…"

"Partial my ass." Rōshi grumbled as he looked at the pictures. "There's got to be at least… what, a dozen bowls in half of the pictures with the kid in them?"

"Speaking of that brat, I haven't seen hide nor hair of that kid since yesterday." Kurotsuchi muttered. "I remember seeing a bunch of his clones running all over the place after the invasion helping people out… but there aren't any around today…"

"Oh? That's probably because he left with Jiraiya-sama yesterday…" Teuchi said with a few bowls of ramen which he passed to their owners.

"Jiraiya? I know that boy tends to not stay in a single place for long, but why did he take that kid with him?" Ōnoki mused curiously as he started to eat.

Teuchi chuckled nervously. "Ah well, you see. Naruto was eating here yesterday when Jiraiya-sama came in and did his normal… introduction. Naruto was getting a bit tired of his current… um… training styles, and he hoped that Jiraiya would be able to train him… differently. So the boy got on his hands and knees and pleaded for the man to train him… then he hugged the man's leg, not willing to let go… it was pretty obvious that he was desperate…" The people listening started to sweat drop as they listened to the story. The people from Iwa were embarrassed for the child and were having second impressions. For those who knew what Naruto's relationship with Ghost was like… they began to pity the poor child. "Of course, the boy didn't know about Jiraiya's… habits yet… so as a last resort he used… those techniques to try and convince the Sannin to train him…" Teuchi continued while sweating.

Sarutobi groaned. "Ugh. Of all the things that boy had to create in his younger days…"

Rōshi raised an eyebrow. "Those techniques?"

The Hokage shook his head. "For our personal integrity and safety, I won't tell you what they are… but I will tell you that it does prey on certain… flaws that we… and Jiraiya have."

"Ah…" The aged men from the Land of Stone said together in complete understanding.

"GRAMPS! I CHALLENGE YOU FOR THE SEAT OF HOKAGE!" Roared a clearly young and inexperienced voice from the outside, getting everyone's attention as a young Konohamaru, followed by Moegi, Udon, and a very irritated Hanabi.

"Konohamaru! I seriously doubt that that stupid technique you made up with these two will actually do anything to Hokage-sama other than embarrass him!" Hanabi said in a frustrated tone, but with a small blush still on her cheeks, before turning to said old man. "My apologies Hokage-sama. I tried to stop him, but…"

The grandfather sighed. "It's okay, Hanabi-chan. We both know that my grandson can be a bit impulsive at times."

"Well, isn't that a cute little girl…" Ōnoki mused. "And a Hyūga, too. I thought their clan was rather strict with letting their young out of a guardian's sight with their bloodline and all…"

"You'd think I'd be the same with my grandson…" Sarutobi deadpanned. "However, ever since these two have met, young Hanabi here has been picking up one or two of Konohamaru's… less admirable habits…"

"Oi! Stop talking as if I'm not here!" Said grandson shouted defiantly. "Me and Moegi and Udon are going to use our new technique against you! Naruto-nii's been teaching us about collaboration techniques before he went to the Ehūnin Exams and we just made one ourselves!"

"Again with that blonde brat…" Kurotsuchi grumbled to herself irritably.

"K-Konohamaru-kun, I don't think this is a good idea…" Udon sniffed as he looked at all the shinobi around.

"Yeah… there are some foreign shinobi here too…" Moegi shuddered. "What if we make them mad?"

"It's okay, guys! After this, everyone will have to notice us and see how great we are! Then Naruto-nii will have to give us more training!" Konohamaru said excitedly, clearly not paying any attention to the annoyed and slightly amused looks that some of the other shinobi were giving them.

Hanabi crossed her arms. "All right! Fine! Do what you want, just keep me out of it!"

Konohamaru smirked. "You're just mad that Naruto-nii beat your sister in the Exams."

"Sister?" Ōnoki whispered to Sarutobi.

"Hiashi's second daughter." The taller of the two whispered back, getting a look of surprise in response.

"Whatever…" Konohamaru huffed as he turned to his grandfather and made a ram seal. "Moegi! Udon! Let's show grandpa our new technique!"

"Here goes nothing I guess…" Udon sniffed as he and Moegi also made the seal next to Konohamaru.

"This should be interesting…" Rōshi chuckled. "A show to go along with lunch…"

 _'Hold on…'_ Sarutobi thought to himself. ' _If I remember correctly, the only techniques that Konohamaru and those two can make are the transformation technique and Naruto's… variation of it. If what he said about a collaboration technique is true, then the only thing they could possibly do is…'_ "Oh dear god no…" The old man said as his face paled dramatically. "Konohamaru, Moegi, Udon! Wai-!"

"Collaboration technique!" The three shouted as they disappeared in three clouds of smoke. "Great Sexy Show Technique!" (Think of that pudding pudding thing they did in the fillers, but make their transformations naked)

A series of crashes erupted from the ramen stand as Ōnoki, Rōshi, and almost all of the males from both villages watching received massive nosebleeds and collapsed onto the ground with huge blushes and grins on their faces. Sarutobi, knowing that something of the nature was going to happen, managed to gain enough control over himself to only get a mildly heavy nosebleed and still remain somewhat conscious on his stool. "I should… have known better…" The aged monkey gasped to himself as he tried to stem the flow of blood and push his heart rate down to more tolerable levels.

"… moving… here… when… retiring…" Ōnoki said in a daze as he grinned happily on the floor.

"Give me whatever you put in this booze… it's bloody brilliant…" Rōshi chuckled perversely with spirals in his eyes.

Hanabi gaped as she looked at how many men were affected by the technique. "How… could something so… stupid… work so well?"

Kurotsuchi chuckled hard while grabbing her sides as she leaned back on her stool. "It's because all men are perverts, kid. You'll figure it out when you get older…" She took out a camera and took a picture of her boss and fellow bodyguard. "Oh, the girls back home are going to looove this…"

"All right!" Konohamaru cheered as he and his friends turned back to normal. "Great work, guys! We finally did it!"

"Oh really?" Asked a very irritated and strained voice from behind the children, causing them to freeze as a fairly healthy amount of killing intent was felt. The children sweated and slowly turned around to see Ayame with glowing eyes and resting her ladle on her shoulder. "And what may I ask are you going to do now that you finally did it?"

"W-we're going to h-help you clean up the s-shop in order t-to beg you f-f-for forgiveness, A-Ayame-sama." Udon said while shaking uncontrollably.

"Please don't kill us with your ladle of pain…" Moegi whimpered.

"Hanabi… help us out here!" Konohamaru begged with puppy dog eyes, only to be met by cold Hyūga eyes.

"No way! I warned you guys that this would happen, but you went with it anyways!" Hanabi said defiantly.

"You traitor! You just didn't want to help us out cause you can't get the sexy technique down yet!" Konohamaru yelled, pulling a complete 180.

"Why would I want to learn something as stupid as that?" Hanabi countered, albeit with a small blush of denial on her face. "What possible purpose could turning into a naked bimbo have?"

Konohamaru merely pointed to all the semi-conscious men lying on the floor with blood coming out of their noses… before Ayame hit him hard over the head with her ladle.

"Okay. I'm ending this conversation right now before I get Hiashi storming in here asking why his daughter was seen transforming into an older naked version of herself at my restaurant." The elder teen said sternly before turning to the three children who caused the mess in the first place. "You three are going to be doing the dishes for the rest of the day." Her eyes glowed dangerously, causing the three to huddle together, scared out of their minds. "No excuses. No breaks." She turned to Hanabi. "You on the other hand, will go back to your guard, who I bet is currently scared senseless of what your father would do to him if he returned without you." She tapped her ladle on her shoulder. "Now."

And just like that, Hanabi was nowhere to be seen.

"Not bad, girl." Kurotsuchi mused. "You've done this before."

The younger girl sighed as she dragged the three children to the kitchen. "That blonde kid in the pictures comes here so often he's like family. The reason why I'm so used to this is because he's been pulling pranks on the villagers since he was younger than these brats here…"

"Hah!" Konohamaru laughed. "I bet he never took out gramps when he was this age!"

"You want to me to make you work here for the rest of the week, brat?" Ayame growled.

"I'll be good." The boy wept.

Just then, the folds of the stand gave way to Anko, Hana, and the triplets. "We heard that there's a fair amount of public humiliation and embarrassed souls here… and the air is thick with the scent of blood and shame…" Anko claimed seriously.

"Is Ghost here? We wish to maim him." Hana said in a dead tone as the two women raised all their arms to show them full of kunai and shuriken accompanied with the sound of sharp metal and an evil glint in their eyes.

The triplets nodded. Many people there could have sworn that the dogs were all smiling evilly.

"Oddly enough… he isn't this time…" Grunted Sarutobi as he cleaned his nose with a tissue.

Anko looked around curiously. "Huh… then if the bastard didn't do all this, then who did?"

Kurotsuchi snorted. "It was your leader's grandson and a couple of his friends. The little brat even managed to get my _honorable_ leader as well…" She rolled her eyes as she pointed to Ōnoki, who was coming back to the land of the living.

"Ugh. What the hell happened…?" Ōnoki grumbled as he picked himself up.

"Two traps and a girl who is way too young to start seduction training…" Kurotsuchi sniggered as she finished her meal.

"I'd appreciate it if all the men here didn't start fantasizing about my 7 year old grandson…" Growled the irate Hokage, causing all the men listening to pale then turn green in a record time.

"Damn…" Hana sighed, clearly used to, and ignoring the conversation at hand. "I thought he was here. His scent was pretty fresh…"

"Don't worry, we'll get the bastard soon enough…" Anko sighed as the group exited the stand. "We're getting better at tracking him…"

Just as all the men sat down in their seats again… "Are they gone? Have the pain givers left?" Whimpered a voice from the ceiling of the kitchen, causing everyone to jump as Ghost's upside-down head peaked out from the window of the stall. Moments later, several shuriken embedded themselves near said sweating head.

"Damn it, Ghost…" Sarutobi groaned as he felt another headache coming. "What the hell are you doing… you know what, never mind. I don't want to know…"

"Ghost… how many times have I told you to not hide on the kitchen ceiling when Hana and Anko are after your blood?" Ayame growled as gripped her deadly kitchen appliance.

"47." He replied without hesitation.

"And WHY, may I ask, do you constantly ignore my orders?" Ayame asked irritably.

"Two reasons. 1, this is one of the few hiding spots that Hana and Anko have found, and 2, there's a thick smell of ramen here."

"What does the smell of ramen have to do with hiding from those two?" Ōnoki asked as he managed to get into his seat.

The upside down man grinned. "It covers up my scent… and I found out that ramen fumes are just like weed when it comes to getting stuck in clothes. 20 minutes up here and bam! I smell delicious for the rest of the day…"

"Well, that explains why you've smelled like broth during half of our meetings…" Sarutobi mused to himself as everyone else listening sweatdropped.

"Ghost! Get your ass out of my kitchen right now before I call back Hana and Anko, AFTER I beat you to death!" The ramen stand girl raged as she now had a ladle in each hand while no one was looking.

"… Yes ma'am…" The man wept as his head slowly disappeared behind the ledge before pausing and looked at Ōnoki. "… What the hell is the Travelocity travelling lawn gnome doing here?"

"NOW!" Sarutobi yelled with a tick mark on his forehead, prompting the man to squeal and disappear in front of them only to land in the street behind them.

"I bid you good sir's good day." The man bowed extravagantly with both his arms still in their slings. "And now to continue with my Ero-Ero dance." He then started to bounce down the street. "E-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro e-ro MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM! E-ro e-ro e-ro…" (A/N: If you don't get the reference… he's doing the modified version of the Badger Badger song).

Ōnoki sighed as he finally started to eat his meal. "This is… probably the most interesting meal I've ever had where someone hasn't tried to kill me."

"We've been getting that a lot lately…" Sighed Teuchi and Ayame.

"Heh. I don't know whether to feel sorry for you two or now…" Rōshi chuckled as he started to finish his meal. "So Ōnoki, Saru. What's the deal with that ambassador thing? Is it going to happen or what?"

Sarutobi deadpanned at Rōshi. "I thought we told you, Rōshi. Ōnoki has to fill out the papers on his part of the agreement in his office before any further exchange between our villages can be made. After that, THEN you can serve as Iwa's connection to Konoha and visit us…"

"What?" Kurotsuchi gaped. "Are you saying that our countries are becoming ALLIES of all things?"

Ōnoki snorted. "Feh. Allies? With the way our villages see each other right now? You must be drunker than Rōshi to believe that." He glanced at all the Konoha shinobi looking at him curiously. "Nah. You could say that this is simply a way to say we're a step closer to peace, but really that's just to say we're being slightly more tolerant of each other. Iwa isn't getting an ambassador because most of my shinobi are still a bit sore from the last war. No doubt you Konoha shinobi are, too, but at least you guys can keep your tempers in check…"

"A snaaake, a snaaake! Oooh it's a… OH FUCK IT REALLY IS A SNAKE! ANKO FOUND ME! RUUUUUNNNN!" Ghost's voice was made known as the man shouted frantically while running back the way he came past the stand. Moments later, a large snake summoning charged past the stand along with 4 very feral looking woman on all fours.

Ōnoki deadpanned. "Well… most of you can… and that still says more than the boys back home…"

The rest of the shinobi sweatdropped and nodded silently as they pretended to ignore what had just happened and focused on finishing their meal before it got cold.

o. o. o.

In the hospital:

The girl woke up in a daze, not knowing where she was, what had happened to her, or what day it was. All she could tell was that she was alive and that her body was killing her, as if she had pulled every muscle in her body at once and then had slept in the worst possible position right afterwards. Groaning to herself, she managed to push her body into an upright position and rubbed her eyes. Already she could smell the distinct scent of disinfectant, among others that indicated that she was either in one of Orochimaru's human experiment labs or a hospital.

Considering how clean and bright her room was… she was going to go with hospital.

As her vision cleared, the girl turned and saw that there was a window showing her a wonderful view of a large village with lots of trees… that couldn't be right. She was still in Konoha?

Before she could think of anything else, the door to her room opened, immediately putting the young kunoichi on guard as a nurse walked in looking at a clipboard. The woman glanced up to see the girl conscious and paused. "… how long have you been up?" She asked carefully, keeping an eye on the girl's hands.

Kin frowned as she picked her words carefully. She had no idea what day it was or what was happening. "A few minutes ago… why?"

The nurse nodded as she went back to leave the room. "Please stay there. The doctor in charge of you will arrive shortly."

Kin's internal warning signs were immediately picking up something as the woman left. The civilian was clearly on guard as soon as she realized she was awake. Looking at herself more carefully, she saw that her hands were cuffed to the bedding, albeit they were given plenty of leeway so that she could reach any part of her body. All her equipment was absent from the room, and the hidden senbon she kept in her hair in case of emergencies were gone as well. Sighing to herself, the girl laid back down in her bed and decided to wait for more information before she tried to escape from a hidden village in nothing but a hospital gown while half her body still asleep and numb.

10 minutes later, the door opened again, immediately putting the girl on guard as a massive figure slowly walked in, leaning on a very large walking stick with leaves growing out of it. "Ah…" The old man sighed in a deep and pleasant voice. "You have finally awakened… good. For a while, I was afraid that I didn't manage to heal most of the damage to your brain in time…"

The clearly confused girl rose an eyebrow, clearly confused while also trying to remember where she had seen this giant before. "What are you talking about, you old fart? What's today's date? How much longer till the Chūnin Exams start? Where's the rest of my team? And why the hell am I tied to the bed like this?"

The old man chuckled as he sat in one of the visitor's seats, causing the furniture to groan under his weight. "I believe it would be best if I answered these questions out of order for you to truly grasp what position you are currently in…" He sighed gently. "I believe it would be appropriate to tell you first that the Chūnin Exams, and your invasion, have come and passed."

Kin's face paled as she processed what the old man had just said. "Wh-what? You're joking… right?"

The old man leaned back and looked out the window with glazed eyes. "No… the fact that I am talking about the invasion so calmly pretty much says it all. If you look out the window… you can actually see where some of those summons broke a hole in the village wall…" He nodded in a general direction, showing the girl that there really was a hole in the military village's defenses. "Right now, it's been about half a week since the invasion. Suna betrayed you and gave us information about your fellow Oto shinobi's positions after they found out that Orochimaru killed their leader… however, to be honest we were aware of your plans a long time before then…" Waltz explained, causing the girl to pale even more.

Kin started to sweat heavily. "… and Orochimaru-sama?"

Waltz's mouth momentarily formed a small smile. "Dead. Killed by the man that taught him the way of the shinobi, and the one he wanted to kill most… with a small amount of help from yours truly. Should you ask any of the ANBU that were present for the fight, they will all say the same thing… more or less."

The girl swallowed heavily as she realized that she was talking to a man who could kill her almost as easily as her apparently dead master could. "Wh-what's going to happen to m-me… and Dosu… and Zaku?

The old man frowned momentarily as he looked down. "… I know it is difficult right now, but please tell me, child… what was the last thing you remember before you found yourself here?"

Kin paused and looked at Waltz. She was hugging her knees to her chest at this point and there was no indication she was going to move any time soon. "I…" She mumbled, not really caring at this point, knowing that she was as good as dead. "I remember waking up after facing that lazy pineapple headed kid in the semifinals…" She droned in a monotone voice, prompting Waltz to momentarily chuckle. "I woke up in what I think was the medical bay in the tower…" She frowned. "I think I saw Zaku there… he was in bad shape… and then I saw Ka… one of Orochimaru's more loyal followers… and I think I fell asleep again…"

"We are well aware that Kabuto was a spy for Orochimaru young one." The old man gently said. "We are fairly certain he escaped the village with his life… unlike many of the other forces that invaded."

The girl slowly nodded, knowing that many of the people she knew in Oto had died a few days prior. "After that… I can only remember small things. I remember being naked and having something touching my body… and a lot of darkness… like I was in a box or something…"

"I see…" Waltz sighed as his figure slumped over even more. The room was silent for several more minutes before the old man spoke up again. "First… let me explain what happened while you were unconscious. After your fight, your last teammate, Zaku, fought one of the genin from Ame. During which he sustained heavy lacerations and blood loss and had to be sent immediately sent to the medical bay. I had stabilized his condition, but I expected whoever had him next would finish his healing process…" The man took in a deep breath and continued, taking note of the girl who was listening to him carefully. "Some time after the preliminaries were finished and the order of the fights was decided, your other teammate, Dosu, decided to try and reduce the competition between him and Sasuke or Naruto, who were on the other side of the roster. … He was killed by his opponent, who he realized too late was far more powerful and temperamental than he had assumed."

Kin looked at Waltz expectantly. "Hold on… you stopped talking about Zaku and skipped to Dosu… what happened to Zaku?"

The man tiredly looked at Kin. "What happened to Zaku happened to you too, child…"

The girl froze. "Wh-what?"

"Allow me to explain…" Waltz grumbled as he reluctantly leaned back in his chair. "Orochimaru, in his fight against the Third Hokage… his mentor, used a forbidden technique that was created by the Second Hokage called Edo Tensei. This technique allowed him to resurrect anyone who has, for lack of a better term, died. That being the case, he thought it was only fitting to summon the departed First and Second Hokage to fight the Third, being that they were his mentors as he was Orochimaru's…"

"Get to the point…" Grumbled the girl. "What does this have to do with me and Zaku?"

Waltz shook his head. "Child, when one normally summons an animal, a sacrifice of blood is mandatory in order to complete the technique. What do you think one needs to bring back the spirits and bodies of those who have died and crossed over, even if only for a small period of time?"

It only took about 10 seconds for the girl to realize what the old man was saying before she paled considerably. "N-no… he wouldn't have…" She whispered to herself in denial. "He… he said he valued us… that we were among his most promising shinobi…"

"I'm afraid it is exactly what you assume, child…" The old man reluctantly confirmed. "Edo Tensei requires a human sacrifice in order to work, and I rescued you and… what was left of your teammate Zaku from the bodies of the resurrected First and Second Hokage… had it been anyone else that attempted to do so, odds are both you and the one trying to do the rescuing would have perished."

The girl was now breathing and sweating heavily now. "Th-this isn't true. This h-has to be some sort of t-trick to get m-me to talk…"

Waltz sighed as he got back up and reached into his coat, instantly causing the girl to almost freak out before he took out some scrolls and walked to the stand next to her. "… I got these scrolls to show you that I am not trying to take advantage of you. One of these has a very thorough description of the mechanics of Edo Tensei… minus some of the more confidential information, of course. The other two contain copies of the medical reports on you and your teammate Zaku after we managed to get you two to the hospital…" He paused. "… As I mentioned before, he lost plenty of blood during the preliminaries. Judging from his body's condition, he was never properly taken care of when he was taken from the Forest of Death… he was brain dead before he was even used as a sacrifice…" Silence claimed the room as the man walked away back out of the room. "I will be back tomorrow in order to check up on your condition… I hope you manage to calm yourself down by then, so that we can discuss what you will do with your future. As you can guess, your windows are kept shut with seals and there are shinobi guarding your door to prevent anyone unauthorized from coming in or, of course, you from leaving. I apologize for this, but you still technically are an enemy shinobi, even if you were taken advantage of without your knowledge. It is also to prevent you from hurting yourself…" The man chuckled lightly. "You should feel some pride, young one. To this date, you are the only person in the shinobi world recorded to have all of your Inner Gates opened at once and still be alive afterwards… though I have little doubt that your body is feeling the repercussions of it as we speak…"

"Ōgakari-sama!" Shouted a nurse from the other side of the door. "We have an emergency! One of the patients in the emergency ward is suddenly developing internal lacerations, and we can't stop the bleeding!"

Waltz frowned as he rushed out the door. "… and just when I thought I could spend 5 minutes without being elbow deep in another person's chest…"

Kin remained quiet as she watched the old man walk briskly out the door with her knees to her chest. "…Ōgakari…" She mused to herself quietly as she finally remembered where she had seen the old man before. He was part of that weird clan that was watching the preliminaries… the one that Orochimaru-sama seemed curious about. Was he telling the truth about Orochimaru-sama? Was he really dead? Was she really used just as a sacrifice?

The girl winced as her body acted up again. She could tell that whatever happened to her was not simply a case of exhaustion, poisoning, or cramping. She felt tired and sore in every part in her body. To be honest, she was somewhat surprised she managed to pull her knees to her chest in the condition she was in. Looking to her side dully, she saw the scrolls the old man had left her. He had mentioned something about having all 8 of her Inner Gates opened… but that was impossible. Even though she wasn't as experienced as most shinobi, knowledge about the 8 Inner Gates was pretty much universal to any ninja who was training to fight other ninja. You open the Gates, you get stronger, but you also have your body shut down on itself. You open all 8, you're pretty much the Fourth Hokage until you get that annoying fatal heart attack that comes up shortly afterwards. The girl stared at the scrolls, wondering whether it would be a smart idea to read them or not…

It was another hour until one of her arms shakily reached out to pick up the first scroll.

o. o. o.

Outside the Hokage's tower:

Team Gai waited patiently with their fully packed bags on the ground next to them as they waited for their teacher's stand-in and their client to appear for their apparent A-rank escort mission. Though it was normally frowned upon to give genin teams such high ranking tasks, the team, along with all the Konoha genin that fought in the Chūnin Exam finals, had proven themselves to be more than capable of handling such a mission… given that they were aided by a jōnin or two, if possible.

"Ugh… where are they?" Tenten groaned as she leaned against the wall of the building. "They were supposed to be here 20 minutes ago! Do you think they stuck us with Kakashi?"

"No." Neji shook his head. "I have heard that even Kakashi-sensei arrives on time when it comes to high ranking missions…"

Lee shook his head furiously. "Neji, Tenten, I have to express my doubts about Kakashi being the jōnin for our mission. Gai-sensei told me that Kakashi is recovering from being attacked by a powerful genjutsu when I saw him this morning with Sasuke as they entered the village…"

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "Hold on, as they entered the village? What, did Sasuke suddenly decide to join Gai-sensei for his morning hundred laps around the village or something?" Neji let out a small snort at the idea of that ever happening.

Lee, however, again shook his head vigorously. "No. In fact, one of Sasuke's arms was heavily injured, and to my knowledge, his injuries from the invasion were already healed…"

"From what I heard, the brat got the shit beaten out of him by his rogue brother…" Grumbled a new voice from the side. The team turned to see Zabuza and Scabbard walking towards them. "… though I'm personally surprised the kid didn't come back half dead from what I saw that brat Itachi do…"

"Coming from the hot headed fool that tried to fight Kisame by himself." Scabbard said with his usual bored expression on without looking at his companion. "I assume that you three have your things all packed?"

The three looked at the grown men confused before slowly nodding. "Scabbard-sensei! I thought we were only having one jōnin accompany us for this mission along with the one we are escorting!" Lee asked in a confused tone.

"He is the one we're escorting…" Zabuza growled, clearly not liking the idea of spending more time with the man that has him by the balls financially. "Seriously, why did you ask for us to help you out when we all know that you could probably do all of this faster by yourself?"

"Simple…" Scabbard replied as he started to walk towards the village exit. "I am a horrible person and enjoy watching you squirm. Just be grateful that you are being paid for an A-rank mission. I could have easily made this a B-rank… now hurry up. The faster we accomplish the first part of the mission, the less trouble we will have with the rest of it…"

The genin looked at each other curiously before nodding and picking up their bags. "Scabbard-sensei, we were given the basic description of what we would need for the mission, but we don't know what exactly it is about…" Tenten said in a relaxed tone. Out of all the genin that knew Scabbard, Tenten was the only one that truly seemed comfortable near the man.

Scabbard nodded. "It is understandable. Many A- and S-ranked missions are rather vague when assigned. It is only when you get to the client that you are given the full scope and details of the mission in order to make sure that unwanted information isn't leaked. The only ones who know the full scope of the mission parameters are those who manage and assign the high ranked missions in the first place, the Hokage, and the one who asked for the task to begin with."

"And the mission we are currently doing right now?" Neji asked curiously.

Zabuza answered for Scabbard. "The thing is, brat, Oto, even though it was run by Orochimaru, was still technically registered as a hidden village. Now that we wasted the living shit out of their forces, the Land of Rice Paddies, and odds are several of the smaller countries next to it, are going to start imploding on themselves since the shinobi there are either dead or going around killing everyone in sight without their ringleader to keep them down. You see this kind of thing happen a lot with large raider gangs when their main leader dies. The gang splits apart into factions and start gunning for everything that moves. It's part of the reason why many shinobi villages don't try to aim for the head of large crime organizations right off the bat. It normally leaves you with a mess that's even bigger than the one you tried to clean up in the first place. What sir Zap-a-lot is going to do is quickly go to the Daimyō of each and every one of these smaller nations and offer them our… and in some cases Taki's, Suna's or Kusa's aid to manage these problems before they get out of hand…"

Lee raised his hand. "Scabbard-sensei, why are you offering some of these potential missions to other villages?"

"It is because, in reality, our village is not able to handle all those new missions at the moment, Lee." Scabbard replied. "Even though our village has suffered minor casualties, we still need time to get back on our feet. Many of our shinobi are working to fix the damage from the war or recover, reducing how many of us are able to go on missions at the moment. This is why it was rather easy for me to get you as bodyguards for this mission. In addition to that, the villages that Zabuza mentioned aided us in the invasion. By giving them the missions we would not be able to accomplish, we are strengthening the alliance between our nations. Suna in particular is undergoing difficult economic times thanks to its departed Kazekage. This influx of fresh missions will another way to help them as well as saying our thanks for the support and information during the war…"

During the entire explanation, the group had been quickly making their way to the exit of the village, and at this point they were in sight of the giant gate when they heard a loud argument that caught their attention.

"I told you this is mine, damn it! The bastard who made this thing really did just give it to me for no reason!" Shouted a young female voice.

"Karui, just give them the sword…" Omoi whispered nervously. "What if we stay here too long, then Raikage-sama will get mad, and then…" Karui shut up her teammate with a punch to the face before turning back to the chūnin guards.

"I knew we should have sold that thing when we had the chance…" Samui grumbled to herself.

"Huh. Yeah, right!" Countered an older male voice. "There is no way the guy who made this would just hand it out for free. The guy is famous for being stingy with money. Just tell me who this really belongs to and I'll let you go on your way. If you had a receipt for this thing, I would have let you go, but as it stands I can't."

"She's telling the truth. The sword is hers." Spoke up a more mature female voice with an authoritative tone. "I was there when it happened. You can ask the owner of that Higurashi store if you would like. I am sure he remembers it as well…"

The leaving group saw that a small squad of Kumo shinobi arguing with a couple of guards with a wide katana being the topic of conversation. Scabbard wasted no time walking towards the group, ignoring their reactions and the clearly agitated look on Neji's face. "Is there a problem?" The monotone man asked curiously as he approached the arguing sides.

Both turned to see Scabbard walking towards them. Karui, who was too angry to look relieved, pointed rudely to the guards. "Yeah! These idiots think I stole the sword you gave me!"

Another guard who was leaning on the side of the gate snorted with his eyes closed. "Yeah, right. Why would the miser of the Ōgakari give out a free sword, especially to a foreign shino-" With a startling crack, a dark green bolt of lightning struck the ground near the man's feet, prompting him to shut the hell up.

"While I do not mind people talking about me behind my back, I find it rather insulting that you would speak of me as such when I am right here." The man said dully as he put his hand down. "For your information, I did in fact give this young girl here that sword for free, as I hoped she would promote my wares in Kumo so that I could expand the range of my market. It is actually a rather common business tactic, and seeing as this girl is a student of the current Raikage's brother, I believe I have chosen the person who will display my tools well, don't you think?"

The two men paled dramatically before they bowed to both Scabbard and the Kumo shinobi. "We beg for your forgiveness!" They said.

"Sensei, why were the guards going through their stuff in the first place?" Tenten asked curiously.

"Think about it, Tenten…" Neji said through gritted teeth. "We just had an invasion. Even if we are on… decent terms now, this still would have proven to be a monumental chance to obtain information from our village during the chaos. Today was the first day that martial law is being let up, but foreign shinobi that are leaving have to undergo a total screening in order to make sure they didn't steal any of our secrets…"

Yugito sighed as she rubbed her forehead and cast an accusing glance at her rescuer. "While I would have preferred a less noisy exit from this village, there seems to be no damage done. I assume that you two didn't find anything else suspicious among our gear?" ' _Please say no. I just want to get back home already…'_

"N-no…" Said the other guard. "The sword this one was carrying was the only thing we found suspicious. Now that we have cleared this up, you are free to leave the village…"

"Congratulations, morons. You two nearly started the 4th Shinobi War." Zabuza sighed as he gave them the papers needed to allow his group to exit the village while trying to ignore the fact that the Kumo shinobi were slowly recognizing who he was.

"Holy crap, you weren't kidding Karui. That really is Zabuza Momochi…" Omoi said in awe as he looked at the tall man.

"His sword is different from what was shown in the Bingo Books…" Samui mused. "Do you think it has some new powers now?"

Yugito sighed as she turned to Scabbard. "Thank you for helping us out of that situation. Raikage-sama will already be most frustrated that we were held up in Konoha during these recent events. I shudder to think what would happen if he heard that we were being kept here against our will."

"No, the fault is mine." Scabbard bowed apologetically. "I should have foreseen something like this happening considering the high demand for my products and given you a receipt or something of the like as proof that the sword was hers. I assume that you are traveling straight to Kumo from here now?"

Yugito nodded tiredly. "Yes, unfortunately our leader will want a very… detailed report of our time here, no doubt. It's a fine way to end one's vacation, don't you think?"

"You think that's bad?" Zabuza grumbled. "I've been working for this psycho for the past month now since I was still on my probation, and the first real mission I get lands me back with this sadistic bastard."

"You do realize I'm the one who decides how the money is going to be split for this mission, right?" Scabbard asked in an almost amused tone.

"God, I want to kill you…" The man growled as his hands twitched toward his sword.

"Since we are going in the same general direction for a while, may I suggest that we travel together until then?" Scabbard asked curiously.

Tenten moved to her teacher nervously. "Um… Scabbard-sensei, I don't think that's a good idea… with Neji being with us and everything…" Everyone listening turned to see Neji glaring daggers at the other shinobi there.

"Oh, fuck… it's a Hyūga!" Omoi said nervously.

"It would be best if you stopped looking at us like that, kid." Karui growled as she put her hand on her sword.

"Neji, I believe it would be best for everyone if you took some youthful deep breaths…" Lee said in an attempt to calm down his friend.

"… I'm willing to bet that that look he's giving me has more behind it than clan pride…" Yugito whispered to Scabbard while not taking her eyes off the boy.

"His father was… an unfortunate casualty of that incident 10 years ago…" Scabbard responded without moving his lips, a trick he picked up from Ghost. "He has some… issues with letting go of the past…" He said before stepping forward. "Neji, I had thought that Hinata had beaten some sense into you when it came to personal grudges." The boy flinched. "These three here were barely of age to attend the academy when the attempted kidnapping happened. Are you insinuating that a bunch of 6 year olds were part of that incident?" The man's voice was hard and cold as opposed to his casual devil may care tone.

Neji gritted his teeth and looked down. "N-No, Sensei…"

Scabbard turned to Yugito. "Ms. Nii, were you aware of the attempted kidnapping of the Hyūga heiress, and did you take part in it?"

The Kumo jōnin sighed as she realized what Scabbard was trying to do. "No, I wasn't. And I wouldn't have done that mission even if I was given it. Those kidnapping missions were the most despicable tasks that one could take in Kumo, and only the most morally absent shinobi in the village took them. Luckily, the Hyūga mission was the last straw for many on the council, and after the hell it put everyone through, the council members who were originally responsible for that program were… dispatched. If it makes you feel any better, boy, I can assure you that many of those cowards soiled themselves before we even took any of our weapons out…"

"Looks like we shouldn't have any problems, then." Zabuza said offhandedly.

Neji looked up and saw a very content grin on the woman's face. Even without his Byakugan active, he could tell that the woman was telling the truth and enjoyed killing those mentioned. "… It seems as if we were not the only ones that were wronged by these council members of yours…" Neji grumbled so that the people around him barely heard him. "I will tolerate being around you for this mission… but do not think anything more of it…"

No one missed the worried and skeptical looks that Tenten and Lee were giving their teammate.

"Well, then. Since Neji has been so kind as to give us his blessing, I believe it would be best if we left now." Scabbard said calmly as he took the lead.

Karui sweatdropped. "Is he always like that?"

Zabuza snorted as he started to follow the man. "Are you kidding? His entire family is like that."

Samui sighed to herself as she jumped after the men. "Why am I not surprised?"

"Oi Samui! Wait up!" Omoi said hastily as he and Karui chased after her.

"Come my friends! We must not get left behind or else our youthfulness will dwindle!" Lee shouted as he raced after the main group with Tenten hot on his trail, leaving Neji and Yugito still at the gate.

"For what it's worth kid, I'm sorry about what my village put you through…" Yugito sighed apologetically, hoping to at least score some points with the boy.

Neji frowned. "For what it's worth ma'am, sorry can't bring the dead back." And with that, the boy disappeared after the rest of the group.

o. o. o.

In Konoha's T and I department:

Ibiki groaned as he looked at the three teens that helped in Orochimaru's fight against the Third. The man was known to be a sadist and did truly enjoy his work, but to his dismay, none of his tactics were working on these brats. The largest reaction he got out of any of them was the girl's constant swearing, and he could already tell that was how the girl normally reacted to any question rather than a response to the pain he was giving her.

Needles, sensory deprivation, burns, mind games, starvation… nothing worked. Twice he had some of his followers rushed to the hospital when one of those body sharing twins, who were currently in separate rooms, attempted to possess them. At this rate he actually would have to use some of his more… radical methods in order to find out anything…

"Having trouble with your new toys, scar face?" Mused a cheerful female voice from behind him, prompting the man to jump and turn around… to see Shadow Ōgakari chuckling while leaning against a wall with Zuzushi on her shoulder. "You know, you shouldn't frown so much. Lord knows what wrinkles would do to that head of yours…"

"This is a private area, Ōgakari…" Ibiki growled. "How did you get here? How did you even know where this place was?"

Shadow yawned. "Aw, calm down, Ibiki. Ghost told me about this place a couple of times. He often quietly followed Anko occasionally to make sure she wasn't coming up with excessively painful new things to try on him during their next 'kinky sex time'." She used finger quotes for the name while rolling her eyes. "He said that he occasionally watched you and Anko work on people and that it was fairly interesting to watch every once in a while. He didn't really give a damn about the information really. It was more like he was studying Anko's body movements so he could tell when he was in danger of getting stabbed again." Ibiki sweatdropped as the woman shrugged. "As for how I got here… well, let's just say that the Nara could learn a thing or two… or a few hundred from me. How else do you think Shikamaru got so good so quickly?"

"I'll keep that in mind…" Grunted the man as he let his guard down. "Still, this is a private area and you don't have the authorization to be here. Unless you have something to contribute to the situation, I will have to ask you to leave and not come back unless otherwise asked… and to tell your brother that I will be informing Anko about him following her in here…"

"Hmm…" Shadow mused with a thoughtful pose as Zuzushi looked around with a bored look in her eyes. "I don't mind telling Ghost about the second part. Hell, I'd even tie him down for Anko for kicks… but as for helping you out… with these brats, right?" She pointed to the owners of the unmodified Curse Marks.

Ibiki nodded. "Yes. So far we can't get any information out of them despite what we've put them through. Mind games, torture, deprivation, isolation. Nothing. They don't even believe that Orochimaru is dead since we took them away before the fight ended…"

"And their Curse Seals?" The woman asked curiously.

"All of their chakra is sealed with the tags we normally use for higher ranking shinobi. Even then, we have another set of seals on them that cuts off the seal from the rest of their bodies completely. This wasn't used for the Uchiha because unlike his, this seal disrupts the owner's chakra control as well."

"How about their personalities?" Shadow asked. "From the looks of them, they're still kids. Do they still have some those annoying habits and traits that most brats have?"

Ibiki sighed. "Yes, they still occasionally show those insecurities, but their loyalty to Orochimaru overrides them by far. I have tried to exploit that angle, but it's been a dead end…"

Shadow grinned darkly, giving her a demonic appearance since there was little lighting in the room. "Oh… I'm sure there are one or two different potential routes you might have missed." She turned to the man. "Is there a torture room here that has a lot of room and can take a bit of damage?"

Ibiki frowned. "I'd prefer if you kept them in a good enough condition to give me information, Shadow… but yes, there is a room like that here for high danger level shinobi. I assume that you would like me to take one of them there?"

The childish woman giggled to herself while the dragon on her shoulder snorted. "Oh goodness no, I want you to take all of them there at once silly!" The man gaped at her. "These brats won't bow down to anyone that they think is underneath them and their standards. With Orochimaru being the sick bastard that he is, I have reason to believe that you simply don't reach them. Even you can tell that much from that fire in their eyes. The only way to make them sing is to give them all a major ass whipping at once to show them who's boss. The bigger the beating, the more they'll cooperate with you. Of course, I doubt that they'll do something drastic like ally themselves with us, but then again, I can be very persuasive when I need to be…" The woman reached into her coat and took out a lollypop which she stuck in her mouth. "And if that doesn't work… well, they won't be able to move much to resist all the other things I could do to them afterwards…"

The man stared at the woman darkly. "Why are you so casual about this? You have no idea what these shinobi can do!"

Shadow raised a hand. "Actually, I do thanks to Scab's spy network, and through that, I know of one or two events that can let me screw with their heads a bit. As for why I'm doing this?" She sighed. "Well… let's just say that I didn't get all of that extra pent up energy from the war out of my system out… and everyone knows that a girl's figure is everything to her…"

Ibiki looked at the woman blankly before sighing and walking to get everything prepared. "I swear, it's like I'm talking to Anko before she learned that there were restrictions in torturing someone for a reason all over again…"

20 minutes later:

"The fuck did they bring us here for?" Tayuya growled to her 'teammates' as they were left alone in a large room that undoubtedly looked like could take a heavy beating.

"Hell should we know?" Sakon replied tiredly. "Maybe they're sick of us and decided to finish us off and be done with it. I know I can't stand being around Tayuya for more than a couple of weeks, and that's after all these years knowing her…"

"Yeah…" Chuckled Ukon. "I'd probably kill myself if I was conscious the entire time she was near us…"

"Lucky bastard…" Sakon grumbled.

"I swear, if I find a way out of this place, I will fucking murder all of you!" The red head growled with as much intensity as her tired body would allow.

"Guys… stop fighting. No one else is in the room right now but us. Let's figure out a way out of here before they someone comes back…" Jirōbō whispered quickly.

"We're trying, idiot…" Hissed Sakon. "But it's kind of hard when our chakra is sealed off and our arms are tied like this!"

"Kidōmaru was always the best at things like this…" Ukon grumbled as he tried to shift his arms around. "Too bad he got wasted by that freakish jutsu. … ah well, better him than me."

"Ah… you might not be saying that by the end of the day… just to give you fair warning…" Said a new voice from one of the shadowed corners of the room, causing all four of them to jump in response and turn. Out from the darkness casually walked Shadow Ōgakari, with a piece of candy in her mouth. "I have a habit of overdoing things occasionally…"

"Oh great, another dumbass who thinks they can make us crack." Tayuya groaned. "What do you think this old hag is going to do to us?"

The boy's didn't have a chance to respond, as moments later Tayuya was being held in an obscure and apparently painful wrestling position by a very irate Shadow. **"The fuck did you call me, you little tramp? Think carefully about your next words, 'cause I have three more toys to play with here, and I assure you that you would not be the first person I 'accidentally' break… and by break, I mean rip out your fucking arms before using them to dig out your cunt so I can hand feed you your ovaries via your own bloody hands."**

Even the three boys there paled at the thought of what the woman had just said. Tayuya did have a very bad mouth, and the group had been around for some of Orochimaru's more disturbing experiments, but this woman had in an instant set the bar on a whole new level.

That, and the demonic voice that the woman was using was scary as all hell.

"F-fuck you, lady…" Tayuya growled as she attempted to wriggle out of her painful position. "You're just lucky that we're tied up like this and have our chakra sealed… otherwise you'd be the dead one…"

The woman smirked as she flipped the girl around expertly and pulled down the collar of her shirt to see the Curse Mark on her shoulder. "Hmm… you really do think that, don't you? With that pretty little stain on your skin, you think all of you are invincible… I wonder if you thought the same way before Kimimaro maimed all of you in front of your boss?" All four of them froze and stared at the woman in shock. No one other than Orochimaru, Kabuto, them, and Kimimaro knew of that incident. "Oh?" Shadow taunted lightly. "Did I strike a nerve there? How about another?" She raised her hand and a dark aura enveloped it so all the people there could see. "My clan has easily cracked the secrets of that so-called seal of yours. Orochimaru really did a shoddy job on it, too. It really is no wonder the odds of living after getting it are so low. IF you want, I can easily remove it for you guys if you ask nicely…" Her hand hovered over the now scared Tayuya's seal. "But where would the fun in that be?" The woman chuckled as she traced the counterseal around the Cursed Seal, making it disappear before spinning off and destroying her restraints. Moments later the other boys had their restraints taken off and Shadow was standing in front of them with a mischievous smile on her face. On the other side of the door she entered, she could tell that Ibiki was trying very, VERY hard to get in.

"What are you playing at?" Sakon asked skeptically as Ukon got back into his body. "Why are you helping us?"

"Who said I'm helping you?" The woman laughed as she took out a metal flute from her coat. "I'm doing this to show you brats who's on top of the food chain here. If you haven't guessed yet, it's me…" She tossed Tayuya her flute, who caught it with one hand.

"What's the catch?" Jirōbō asked skeptically.

Shadow shrugged. "It doesn't take much imagination to figure that out. You win, you go free, not that it will help you much. Orochimaru really is dead and Oto's forces got fucked ten ways to Sunday in the invasion. If I win, however, you have to give Ibiki all the info you want… and I'll be taking off those annoying tattoos of yours…"

"Heh…" Tayuya smirked as she already activated the first stage of her seal. "You should have gotten rid of them when you had the chance, lady. We aren't easy to beat…"

Shadow waved her hand lazily. "Yeah, yeah. I learned that much from fighting those 20 guys with seals like yours that Orochimaru sent after my family. To be perfectly honest, they weren't much of a fight until they went up to their second stage. It was kind of pathetic, really…"

Sakon frowned, also with his seal already in motion. "Those other guys with seals? Then you are from that clan…"

The woman bowed. "Yep! Shadow Ōgakari, at your service…"

Crash!

Jirōbō, already in his first stage of his seal, had jumped the woman while she was bowing and delivered a powerful punch… only for it to be caught in the palm of one of Shadow's now scaled dragon arms with no problems whatsoever. "What?" The teen growled, not expecting for the woman to be clearly stronger than he was in this stage.

"Please be gentle…" Shadow whispered before punching him with her other fist and launching him into the wall across from her. "You know, my family and I took on 20 of you guys in this stage pretty easily. Unless you go to your second stage, this really won't be much fun for me…"

"Shut up already, lady, and die!" Shouted Sakon as he dove after the woman from behind with an arm cocked back. Shadow spun quickly and caught the fist easily, only to find that there were two more fast fists coming from the boy's chest straight at her. "Got you! Machine gun punch!" Sakon yelled before his brother's fists were caught by something, shocking both of them. Looking down, the boy saw that the extra arms were blocked by black claws that were coming from the woman's coat and weren't letting go. "What?"

"That's an interesting ability you two have there…" The woman grinned. "My brother can do something that has similar results. Tell me, how many more can you make?" Sakon paled as at least a dozen more claws materialized themselves from his captor's coat. Cocking back her free clawed hand, Shadow chuckled. "Only those two? Such a shame…" Then she embedded the twins in a crater that was at least two feet deep in the hard floor. Sighing to herself, Shadow stood back up and made her shadows disappear before noticing a flute playing. "Not bad…" She mused. "Your tempo and pitches are pretty good… though to be honest, I was never much of a classical artist…" The woman jumped as three large hulking figures nearly landed on her.

"Fatass! Drag Queen! I'll hold her off!" Tayuya growled while her seal transformed to Level 2. "You guys heal or wake up or whatever! This bitch is the real deal! We need to go all out to kill her!"

"R-right…" Jirōbō gasped as he dislodged himself from the wall he crashed into.

"That crazy woman has a mean left…" Coughed Sakon as he and his brother started to engage the healing factor that they shared.

 _'Hmmm… should I keep on using my taijutsu, or should I mix it up with my powers now…'_ Shadow mused as she watched the summons open their mouths and giant white ghost worm things come from out of their mouths. ' _Eh, I'll stick to what I'm doing now and see how things turn out, make them sweat a little and give them false hope.'_ "Hey flat chest! What are you doing with these weird ass summons? Do you get off on this kind of stuff? I didn't know Orochimaru promoted necrophilia! Only pedophilia!"

The flutist frowned as she continued to play her melody and make her tools move. The woman didn't seem to notice… or care… about the situation she was in…

However in the few minutes that had passed, the girl was starting to think that she was the one that was underestimating her opponent. The woman made no notion to escape from the monsters as she weaved her way between all three of them with an amused expression on her face. The girl almost swore as she saw the woman playing with one of her strongest techniques, one that even Kimimaro decided to avoid being stuck in and chose to outrun in order to get to her.

"Not bad…" Shadow mused as she jumped away from the monsters. "These things can do both physical and spiritual damage. They apparently can't be confused because you are the one directing them with your flute…" She saw Tayuya smirk. "I said they apparently can't be confused dumbass…" The woman deadpanned as she reached into her coat and took out… an extra large air horn. The girl's face paled as she realized what the woman's strategy was. "Oh, yes…" Shadow replied with an evil grin as she dashed forward and held the horn in front of her. Before Tayuya could play the countermelody, a large blasting sound that only air horns can make deafened all in the room… including the summons, who did nothing as the woman ran past them without interruption. Tayuya tried to get away, but in an open room there was nothing to hide behind, and running was rather difficult when playing a flute. Shadow was just about to give the girl a messy lobotomy when she was tackled away by Jirōbō while Sakon threw a smoke bomb in front of Shadow in order to help give them time to increase the distance.

"What the hell happened to you buying us time?" Sakon hissed, still in his 1st level of the seal.

"It wasn't my fault…" Panted Tayuya. "The bitch used that fucking air horn to prevent my summons from hearing my melody! Why the hell was she even carrying that thing on her in the first place?"

"Well, she stopped using it now…" Jirōbō commented as he looked where the woman was still standing, almost as if she was waiting for them to do something… wait, she just crossed her arms and is now tapping her… foot. "She's very confident she will win this… isn't she?"

"That confidence will be the end of her…" Sakon growled. "Devil's Room."

"Right." The other two teammates nodded as all three of them went into their Level 2 Curse Seals. Immediately afterwards, Sakon charged forward and Tayuya played her flute again, prompting her summons to move.

 _'Looks like they're actually fighting according to some strategy now… let's see what they've got…'_ Shadow mentally chuckled as she looked at Sakon's transformed state. "Geez, kid. I don't know what's more disturbing, what you looked like without the seal or what you look like now."

"Why don't you shut up already?" The boy yelled as he attacked the woman, who easily danced around his, and soon enough the summon's attacks with ease despite the increased number of opponents and power. Just as she was evading around another summon though, Ukon, who had been semi-possessing said summon, jumped out from its back and tackled the woman and instantly tried to assimilate with her. "Jirōbō! Now!" Sakon yelled as he and the summons jumped back.

The largest of the group slammed his hands on the ground. "Earth Style! Earth Dome Prison!" Instantly, the ground around Shadow morphed and a large dome encompassed her. "Got her…" The teen said confidently as he began to suck out the chakra inside.

"Nice work, fat ass." Tayuya smirked as she let up on her seal.

"For the last time, stop calling me that, Tayuya, or else you'll be the next one in there…" The big one growled.

"Shut it, you two…" Sakon ordered. "As soon as Ukon kills the bitch, let him out and start digging our way out of here before…" Thump! The area around the group shuddered for a moment, forcing all of them to lose their balance. "The hell?"

Jirōbō frowned and his muscles flexed. "The bitch is doing something on the inside! I can barely hold her…"

Boom! The Dome exploded with incredible force, throwing all three of them back several dozen meters before they managed to land on their feet. "The fuck…" Sakon growled before something a few feet in front of him made him pale. "Ukon!"

The twin was burnt heavily and writhing on the ground in pain. "She… she's not normal, brother!" He hissed. "There's something… inside of her!"

"Yeah… I probably should have mentioned that I have a demon dragon goddess… thing, sealed inside of me…" Shadow sighed as she walked casually to the shocked group while picking her nose with her pinkie. In a blob of darkness that grew out of her shoulder, Zuzushi slowly came into existence with a yawn. "Zuzushi doesn't really like anyone else trying to take over any part of my body. It's a pride thing." The woman let the sleeves of her coat drop past her hands before raising them at her opponents. "If you don't mind now, I'm going to finish this fight."

"Damn it!" Sakon swore as he and the other three turned on their seals again before he re-absorbed his brother. "How the hell did she counter one of our best combinations like it was nothing? This woman is a monster!"

"Think about it later!" Jirōbō yelled as he made a snake seal before grabbing the ground and lifting up a massive boulder. "We have to take down this bitch NOW!"

"Right!" The two yelled as Tayuya put her flute to her lips again and Sakon got ready to run…

Bam! A massive bolt of lightning shot out from one of Shadow's sleeves and blasted apart the boulder in the largest boy's hands. Sakon took that as a signal to run forward… only to find that the woman was already in front of him with her arm cocked back. The boy saw nothing but stars as the woman punched him while charging forward, causing him to flip backward several times where he stood like a pinwheel before landing on his head.

"Damn you!" Jirōbō roared as he charged the woman with his arms cocked back before he punched to try and take off her head. Said woman smirked as she caught the fist. The boy growled as he tried to punch with the other only for that one to be caught too.

"Not bad…" Shadow grunted. "You have some power behind those punches, kid…"

Said boy smirked as the two's hands clasped on to each other's. "Heh. Too bad for you this leaves you open for the others to attack you…"

Shadow smirked as well as her eyes turned from her normal forest green to a slit ice blue and her mouth began to glow. "Too bad for you that you forgot I have a dragon sealed in me, dumbass."

"Oh Fu-!" The large teen managed to get out before he was blasted by a massive stream of fire that nailed him into the wall on the other side of the room with loud explosion.

Shadow coughed as smoke came out of her mouth. "Damn… I forgot how much that dries up my mouth… I hope I didn't overdo it with that one…" The woman turned to Tayuya, who was furiously playing her flute with no effect. "You might as well stop playing now, girl. I plugged up those monster's ears with shadows. They can't hear jack, and by the time you play any genjutsu melody, I would have been able to kill you 10 times over." The girl apparently paid the woman no mind as she continued to play her flute, however there was a distinct change in melody and tune. Shadow sighed as she raised her hand to the girl. "Suit yourself…" A massive silver white dragon claw rapidly emerged from the woman's sleeve and pinned the girl to the wall near where Jirōbō was. Extending her other arm, Shadow picked up Sakon, who was on all fours on the ground and threw him with the others. "Now then, I believe I have proven that you three are officially my bitches." The woman said confidently as her arms and the teens turned back to normal. "Now about our little deal about talking to Ibiki…"

 _'This woman's power is unreal!'_ Sakon panicked to himself. ' _Even if Kidōmaru was helping us, we still would have been pummeled into the ground! Even when we fought Kimimaro, he had to use his Curse Seal in order to beat us, and even then he had at least SOME trouble during the fight. She countered all our best tactics as if they were nothing!'_ "What…" He coughed. "What do we get out of this?"

"Sakon, you traitor! Don't you dare fucking sell us out!" Tayuya yelled.

"You know I have no trouble killing one or two of you since there are so many of you here…" Shadow mused off handedly. "If that's the case, I could always randomly pick who the lucky numbnut will be… or I could always do something horribly morally absent to all of you…"

Tayuya snorted. "Yeah? Like what? I doubt anything you could do to us Orochimaru hasn't prepared us for at some point…"

"Hmmm…" Shadow mused as she looked at all three of them. "Well, let me just say these two things. 1. My powers enable me to create anything I wish from the darkness of shadows." She paused as the three looked around to see that the dim lights allowed the woman to create pretty much anything anywhere in the room. Sure enough they soon saw black tendrils rising from the ground around them and the now demonically grinning woman.

"And number 2: Through my travels, I have learned that tentacle monsters aren't picky about their… victims…"

Sakon and Jirōbō paled dramatically as the black tendrils started to gently brush up against their faces and limbs…

o. o. o.

A/N:

… God, I am evil.

Yes. Yes I did just pull another massive chapter in a week.

Not much to say about things. I finally started to watch Red vs. Blue in its entirety. Great stuff. I found out recently that Monty Oum (Aka Dead Fantasy guy, AKA Fighting Movie Animation Jesus) is now working with Rooster Teeth, the guys who make Red vs. Blue. Their latest episode has his name written ALL over it, and the gods were pleased. Don't be surprised if I add one or two of their jokes in the story for laughs.

Still not many quality stories updating lately, which I admit is part of the reason why I worked so fast on this one.

I'm gonna start working on Shadow's bio soon. No doubt this chapter is really going to prompt people to start asking me what the hell she can do now.

I WAS going to add a few more scenes to this chapter, but it was so long that I decided to cut it a bit short. Originally I was going to have Naruto give Tayuya a massage in order to get her to talk since Ghost's hands were 'NC 17 only', but I thought that Shadow beating the living shit out of all three of the Sound-nin there was more appealing since it had more characters involved… especially with the air horn part. I literally pulled that one out of my ass when writing this.

Anyways. Worship the log. Review. Worship Monty Oum. Worship the thought of Monty Oum making an animation that involves the log. Review again, and put some time to the side to slap Griff around… heheh (Red vs. Blue thing). Later.


	47. Help" is just another word for "something has gone horribly wrong".

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 47: "Help" is just another word for "something has gone horribly wrong".

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Ino groaned as she sat at a park bench with her head in her hands. Unlike many of her friends, life had not been so tolerable after the invasion. The top of the list that she was dealing with was obviously her father. Inoichi was absolutely livid at her performance during the Chūnin Exam finals. Despite her still above average combat expertise, the girl had shown something that was beyond worrisome for someone in the Yamanaka clan: mental instability. Because of the clan's mental based techniques, every person in the family had to be extensively trained in psychology and practiced activities that calmed a person's mind to levels that could almost match a Nara's. It was one of the reasons why it wasn't uncommon to see a Yamanaka male as the medic or the sensor of a shinobi team.

On the other side of the coin, however, a Yamanaka that was not mentally stable was something else entirely. The instability combined with mind control techniques resulted in potentially catastrophic results. It was possible for the user of a Mind Body Switch Technique to accidentally drag the mind of the target back to their own body, or become trapped in the target. Either one would result in secret information being slipped to the enemy at the very least, not including the issue of an enemy and an ally in the same body fighting for supremacy. When it came to more complicated techniques being used by unstable individuals, the issues would become more disastrous. The instant effects would not be noticeable, but over time the individual would become more influenced by their targets, of whom most would obviously be enemy shinobi, thugs, etc., and could potentially become a sleeper agent or spy without anyone else knowing.

That being said, while said information was of course a clan secret in order to prevent enemies from trying to capture and mentally break Yamanaka clan members in order to make them spies, it was none the less judged harshly by both people who knew the clan even moderately well and the clan members themselves. Ino's little 'episode' had shamed not only her, but her parents as well. The girl had explained what had happened to her father, but the man was simply too tired from what happened in the past events to give her the benefit of the doubt at that moment. Then the man had heard about the girl's secret garden in her bathroom. The girl had come back home at the end of the second day after the invasion from helping out some of the medics to find her bathroom boarded up and lined with extremely potent shocking tags to prevent her from going in.

There was a lot of arguing in the house that night.

The blonde had spent the past few nights at Chōji's place. Normally she would have considered Sakura's first, since she had known her for so long and was on good terms with the girl's parents, but since said friend was in the hospital for what Sasuke could only describe as 'extreme injuries', she decided to go against it. Besides, Chōji's folks were very nice and were great cooks too.

Of course, the cherry on top of her glorious past few days had been the obscenely large number of males that had 'somehow' come up with the idea that she was easy to hook up with. The range of men approaching her age wise was staggering and quite disturbing. On more than one occasion she had in fact been asked out by males that were as old as her father. The girl shivered as she remembered some of the more awkward moments while trying to heal some of the wounds from the invasion,

"Ino? Is that you?" Asked a familiar voice, catching the girl's attention. "Yeesh. What the hell happened to you? You look almost as bad as Sakura." Ino turned to see Kiba walking towards her with his hands in his pocket and a few bandages where he was scratched during the invasion, similar to almost every other shinobi in the village.

Looking down, the girl saw Akamaru looking up at her with big innocent eyes that would have fooled anyone who didn't know that the puppy was an Inuzuka hound. Smiling gently, the girl sighed as she petted the dog. "Well, I feel like it, Kiba. Dad wasn't happy about how I acted during the Chūnin Exams… then he found out about my secret stash of poisonous plants… I've been staying at Chōji's place for a while…" She glanced up at the immature Inuzuka, who was grinning perversely. "It's not like that, mutt. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm going out with Chōji, but I'm sleeping in a different room than he is. Even if we do mature faster than civilians, we're still only 13 for god's sake…"

Kiba snorted as he walked over and sat down next to the girl. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever makes you sleep at night, Ino. It still doesn't give you the reason to act like Sasuke did. Hell, those poisons of yours saved my group a few times. I'm pretty sure we told your old man that."

Ino shook her head as she still pet Akamaru's head. "No… the poisonous plants were really the icing on the cake. It was the acting crazy bit that really pissed my dad off. Let's just say that mixing mentally unstable people and our clan techniques is a bad idea…"

"Huh…" Kiba paused. "That's sounds kinda like my clan's higher level jutsu… actually, I'm pretty sure that your clan helped mine develop some."

Ino blinked curiously. "Really? I didn't know that."

Kiba nodded as he looked at the lake in front of them. "Yeah. It was back in the academy. I had had gotten into a fight… again, and was grounded to studying in the clan library. Instead of doing homework like I was supposed to, I came up with the stupid idea of looking in the clan history books to see if my clan saved any of the other clans or did them any favors so I could rub it into everyone's faces the next day. Instead I was reading up on the history of some of my clan's more developed moves, ones that… well let's just say that in the end we got to know and relate to our hounds on a whole new level." He said carefully, knowing that clan secrets were still extremely closely guarded, even among allies. "My clan was having trouble pulling them off… some of the failed experiments weren't pretty, and that's when your clan came in and gave us a bit of help on the mental side. It's actually thanks to your clan that we have a better understanding of our hounds as a whole and enable us to be one of Konoha's main ninja clans."

The girl raised an eyebrow. "That's pretty interesting… why didn't you tell me this?"

Kiba deadpanned. "Because if I did you would go running around screaming that I'm pretty much your slave for the favor your family did mine. I'm a bit stupid Ino, but I'm not retarded."

The blonde laughed nervously. "Heheheh… right… sorry…"

Kiba sighed as he looked at Akamaru. "The thing about the techniques was that the user's mind had to be strong and stable, yet willing to share control with their hounds in order to pull them off since he and his partner were… sharing various things. The problem that happened before was that the user would try to take complete control. This would force the partner to instinctively fight back…"

Ino looked at Kiba in surprise as she realized what would happen next. "The two minds would fight for each other for supremacy while damaging the body in the process. In my clan, if that happened and things got out of control, we could always jump back to our body, but if you were sharing the body as well…"

Kiba's eyes narrowed. "Like I said… some of the worse cases weren't pretty. That's why true understanding and companionship are beaten into every person in my clan. The alpha thing is only used as a substitute for the chain of command and passing down orders that's in every other clan… well, most of the time."

"What do you mean by that?" Ino asked curiously.

Kiba sweatdropped. "Um… let's just say that mom was born in the clan, and dad wasn't… and a few years ago, dad got a bit tired of the alpha thing…"

"He was whipped, wasn't he?" Ino deadpanned.

"Big time." The boy wept before he sighed and continued. "… Even so, there have been… accidents every once in a while. I haven't seen any of them myself… but I'm sure that mom and maybe sis have. There was a big commotion in my clan back when we were still in the academy, but I was still too young to be told what was happening. All I know was that mom and sis were quiet for a week, and sis wouldn't even eat half that time."

Ino sighed to herself. "You know, this is all interesting to know Kiba, but I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out the moral of the story due to me being exhausted."

The boy shrugged. "Beats me. I just thought that since it was related to your family's mental stuff, it would make sense along the way. I guess we could say that we gotta be mentally strong in order to keep on going… know who we are and what we're doing and that kind of crap before we try anything big. Despite what happened, mom and sis got better eventually and kept on training to be stronger. You do the same. You screwed up. Shit happens. Hell, I didn't even make it as far as you guys in the exams, but that doesn't get me down. I'll get it the next time." Kiba yawned. "So, your old man is pissed at you. So what? Do you how often mom threatens to declaw me and tear me limb to limb? Anything she doesn't do to me, Kuromaru does. It'll pass, everyone will get over it, and go to focus on more important things. As far as I can tell, as long as you're not a raging nympho anymore, you have nothing to worry about."

"Tell that to the 8 dozen middle-aged men that approached me in the past few days…" Ino grumbled before she began to pet Akamaru again. "But other than that, you're right Kiba… for once…"

"Oi…" The boy grumbled.

The blonde laughed. "Ah don't have a cow, Kiba. Odds are we'll be in the same genin team for the next exam. I highly doubt I proved myself to be chūnin material back there." She stretched. "Speaking of promotions, who do you think is going to get the vest?"

Kiba yawned as he started to count on his fingers. "Well, let's see. There's something seriously wrong with this village if Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru aren't promoted. Those three practically _were_ the Exams…"

"Tenten, Hinata, Chōji-kun and Sasuke-kun will probably get the vest too…" Ino added. "They put up good fights. Hell, Chōji nearly took down the entire arena and Sasuke-kun used two elements in his fight."

The boy nodded. "Yeah, they pretty much have it in the bag… that guy that beat Shikamaru is probably going to get it. I mean, he made an entire freaking tidal wave of sand for crying out loud."

Ino shuddered. "Don't remind me. I'm just glad I never had to fight him." She paused. "So the only ones left are Shino, that girl from Suna, that creep from Ame, Neji, Lee, and well… me."

"Well… we know the odds of you getting a vest are pretty low…" Kiba mused carefully. "Sis was talking earlier about how the finals were about showing how well you can think and prepare… so I'm pretty sure Shino has a good chance…" He paused. "Surprisingly enough… even though Lee's and Neji's fight was awesome… they didn't really show that much strategy. All they really did was show some tactics and try to beat the living daylights out of each other. I mean, it was awesome… but I don't really think that's what the judges were looking for. If they're anal enough, odds are not everyone in our age group other than us will get promoted."

The girl agreed. "Yeah. Getting promoted is a pretty big deal. Even though Hokage-sama said there was a chance for all of us to get promoted, I think that there would be problems if all of us actually were." The girl looked at the setting sun. "I better get back. Chōji's family normally eats around now and they might get worried if I'm not back…"

Kiba laughed as he stood back up. "Oh yeah. I've stayed at Chōji's place before. Those guys definitely know how to cook. I'd better go back too. I was originally walking Akamaru, so I'd better finish up. You feeling any better?"

Ino nodded. "Yeah. Thanks, Kiba."

"Anytime." The boy replied before putting on a perverted grin. "…Sooooo… just wondering… are you still taking potential suitors?"

The girl smiled sweetly as she took out a kunai. "Of course, Kiba! Admission is one of your testicles. Would you like to pay with your left one or your right?"

o. o. o.

In a village near Konoha:

"Pay up, Ero-Sennin." Naruto grinned as Jiraiya stumbled back to the restaurant table where he, Tsunade, and Shizune were sitting. "I told you that she would kill you first."

Tsunade snorted as she saw the man reluctantly give the boy a few bills of cash. "You actually bet against the brat, Jiraiya? Even I'm not gullible or desperate enough to do that…"

Jiraiya smirked momentarily. "Funny, I was thinking that you should have for the Chūnin Exams…"

Naruto started to sweat profusely as he began to regret sitting next to Tsunade in order to not sit next to Jiraiya. He could definitely feel the older woman leaking killing intent in his direction. "Heheh… wh-what? You bet o-on me to be undefeated, Baa-chan? I-I mean of course you d-did. I'm awesome like th-that… but we were st-stalling for time before the at-attack and…" The boy tried to play everything cool, but he knew damn well that the woman next to him could easily kill him at a moment's notice. Even if he was much stronger than he once was, there was no way he stood a chance against a kage-level shinobi in a straight up fight just yet.

Tsunade responded by turning to Naruto and smiling sweetly at him, causing him to fear more for his life than he did moments before. "Oh, don't worry Naruto. I understand perfectly. I'll make sure to reward you with an appropriate mission after I come back, okay?"

 _'OH DEAR GOD SHE'S GOING TO MAKE ME CHASE AFTER TORA FOR A MONTH!'_ Naruto mentally screamed, not paying attention to the outside world at all until Tsunade tossed something into his lap. Looking down, the boy saw the familiar green gem that he had won in the bet he had made against the woman during the previous timeline.

"Try not to break it this time." The woman sighed as she drank some more sake. "Honestly, you're the only person I know that can destroy or blow through something valuable without a second thought faster than me… and I'm legendary for sucking at gambling."

"She actually admits it?" Jiraiya whispered to Shizune curiously.

"Once in a while…" The woman replied. "For the past year, she's been cutting back on her gambling and focusing on paying back her debts via freelancing her medical practice…"

"How far are you guys?" The pervert asked.

Shizune wept. "About a third of the way there…"

Naruto's face twitched as he heard the conversation progress. Even though it wasn't really significant, the boy's hearing had improved by a small margin through his training. Knowing his strengths and the situation, the boy developed a confident grin and turned to Tsunade.

"Brat, I swear, unless what you're planning involves something to do with me maiming Jiraiya and getting ownership rights to his books, you better stop whatever it is you are planning right now…" Tsunade deadpanned.

Naruto shrugged. "Fine. I WAS going to ask you to show me where the nearest gambling den is so I could win you enough money to cover most of your debts since it seems like you all have forgotten what my luck is like around those places, but if you insist…"

"Did I mention that you're a lot taller than you were the first time I met you?" Tsunade said in a sweet tone with stars in her eyes and drool coming out of her mouth.

"What's the catch?" Shizune asked curiously while trying to turn a blind eye to her master's shame, knowing that the boy had to want something in exchange for exploiting the woman's weaknesses.

"No D-ranked missions for a year and Hinata-chan is also allowed to be your apprentice." Naruto said without missing a beat.

"Deal." Tsunade said just as quickly, not thinking at all about what the kid had just asked.

"Hold on." Jiraiya said somewhat sternly. "The brat needs to be the reason why you came back so that he can get a better reputation among the villagers, otherwise it would just look like he was there for the ride…"

Naruto took out his frog wallet. "Baa-chan. I bet you that Ero-Sennin will do something perverted while he's here. If I win you come back to Konoha and become the Hokage. If I lose then you can have all the money here."

"Deal." The Sanin repeated with a smirk on her face while the other two adults just stared at them in disbelief. They were in such a daze that they didn't see Naruto make a familiar seal.

All of a sudden, multiple blonde haired whiskered women in various kinky clothing appeared out of nowhere and latched onto the writer, gaining the attention of everyone in the restaurant. "Advanced Harem Technique." The boy chuckled under his breath as he watched Jiraiya slowly change from shocked shinobi to legendary perverted middle-aged man.

"Heh… hehahahahaaaa!" The man laughed as his face transformed to his standard perverted grin and blood coming out of his nose. "Naruto, you little bastard, you! Now this is what I call an ero-jutsu!" He brought out a notepad and pen from his vest. "I HAVE to write down this stuff for my next boo-!"

Crack. The pervert passed out as one of the clones who was dressed in a revealing bunny outfit bashed one of the bar stools on top of the man's head, causing him to pass out. Moments later, the clones disappeared again.

"I won the bet…" Naruto said, casually counting on his fingers. "… and we shall never speak of this to anyone later. Agreed?"

"Where… did you come up with…?" Shizune asked in a daze as she tried to process all the costumes she saw moments earlier.

"… Ero-nii, Hana and Anko occasionally forget to lock the door when I visit the clan compound…" The boy said in a slightly traumatized tone. "I'm pretty much scarred for life…"

"Wasn't one of them dressed in…?" Tsunade began curiously.

"I will deny everything!" The boy shouted.

Shizune and Tonton looked down at Jiraiya. "Um… Tsunade-sama? I think you might want to heal him… he's losing a lot of blood here… and not from his nose this time…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Rice Paddies:

Kabuto frowned as he attempted to sort the last of what he considered valuable information to give to his other master. Sasori, unlike Orochimaru, was easier to irritate and extremely picky when it came to what and how his information was presented. What Kabuto was going to give him was not an exception, despite the scale of the information he was going to deliver. This was partially due to the fact that the puppet master's spy circle was much wider than Orochimaru's and so he had to be careful when determining which information was accurate and which wasn't. The rest of it was simply because the man was a puppet master shinobi. You had to be anal attentive when it came to everything when that was your profession in life.

The remaining shinobi in Otogakure, of course, had no idea yet of what was happening. Kabuto's return without Orochimaru was somewhat odd, but not unusual, and the teen had made it back before any word of the invasion had gotten that far. The spy had taken control of the main base and had made sure that no one entered or left without his position. His privacy, too, was ensured as he locked the door in the Sannin's main study/lab as he looked for anything that was useful. Experiments, seals, jutsu, weapons, facts on human anatomy, all of these went into the several scrolls that the teen had brought with him.

On the side however, there was one scroll that he decided to keep for himself. Its contents would prove useful to him in the future after he became a bit more powerful and studied some subjects more…

Sighing to himself, Kabuto paused to remember his old master, since he doubted that anyone else would be able to mourn him properly. Kimimaro was close, but the boy would only reflect on how 'great' the man was and not focus on all his qualities, both good and bad.

The Sannin had been a man of vision, that much had been obvious. He had done what few people in life had attempted to do and focused his entire life on achieving his dream, to learn all jutsu ever created. While the goal itself and the drive to achieve it were both significantly impressive, even the spy would admit that his means of achieving it were a bit lacking in morality… not that he could say that he was an angel himself, but facts were facts. Kidnapping, experimentation, murder, thievery, torture, the man had done it all without batting an eyelash unless he learned something new or interesting. He had done great things in order to achieve his dreams. Many of them could and would be seen by others as insane and criminal towards mankind, but they were great none the less.

The Sannin had taught Kabuto many things over the years during his employment, however what the boy seemed to value most was how he learned to manipulate people and plan ahead. How to read others and use what little you knew to bend them to your will. It was something that few truly noted about the man, however those who did see it knew it was one of his best strengths. It was one of the real reasons why he was such a potential contender for the position of the Fourth Hokage… it was his charisma. Orochimaru truly understood people… or more specifically, people who were yearning for purpose, whether they knew it or not, which was why he was able to amass such a large group of shinobi and create his own hidden village within 10 years. Even though his methods were cruel and his mind was crueler, the man appealed to others in a sick sort of way, and it was that simple understanding that enabled him to get so much done in his life. The man truly was a natural born leader, regardless of his ideals and views of life.

Then there was of course his power and his genius, but any decent chūnin knew that much about the Sannin, so Kabuto just skipped over that bit.

However, for every great thing about the man, there were 10 things that he was despised for or flawed in some way. Orochimaru's vision, for example, consumed the man completely. His desire evolved from a simple wish to know everything to an obsession to transcend his humanity and become a god. The man had made certain steps in the general direction, but the process was so convoluted and messy, not to mention vague, that Kabuto wondered if the man would even be the same person before he even reached a significant breakthrough. True, Sasuke Uchiha would have been a boon to the process, but the spy secretly doubted that even with the Sharingan mixed with the genius of the man that any significant progress would be made within the 3 years he would be inside the body before he would have to change bodies… and then there would be no more Sharingan, unless he had managed to somehow defeat Itachi within that time frame or recreate the Uchiha clan lineage… both routes seeming to be equally improbable, since the Sannin was nowhere near father material no matter how anyone looked at it…

Knock, knock. "Kabuto-sama. I heard that you returned…" A tired voice from the other side of the door made itself known. "How was the invasion?"

The spy's glasses flashed momentarily as he recognized the voice. "There were… complications during the invasion, Kimimaro-kun. Orochimaru-sama had to be taken to the northern base in order to be healed due to the extent of his injuries. I am merely making a quick stop here in order to get some materials needed to tend to him…"

There was a very brief flash of killing intent from the other side of the door before heavy coughing was heard.

Swearing quietly, Kabuto ran to the door and opened it to see the bone wielder hunched over with his hand covering his mouth and coughing his lungs out. There was blood dripping from his fingers. The medic wasted no time performing the needed seals and stabilizing the sick teen to allow him to breathe again. "You must calm down, Kimimaro-kun. Your condition has been declining lately. Putting yourself under such stress will only make things worse…"

The teen frowned as his haggard breathing steadied again. "What… happened to the Sound Four? They were supposed to ensure nothing happened to Orochimaru-sama…"

Kabuto sighed. "… Everything was… going mostly according to plan. There was a small unexpected occurrence during our master's fight, but it was manageable… no plan on this scale ever goes completely perfectly…" The spy stretched the truth somewhat so that it matched his lie. Things would become complicated if he told the zealot that the entire plan had become a cluster fuck. "However, it seemed as if our plans were leaked at the last moment. They weren't able to completely defend against our attack, but they did manage to place someone in possession of a powerful ninjutsu nearby. The jutsu was strong enough to penetrate the barrier the four had erected and killed Kidōmaru. I can tell you from what I saw that it had incredible destructive force and I wasn't surprised that it got through the four's technique. With the barrier gone, the other three were captured and the Hokage received enough support to drive back Orochimaru-sama and injure him greatly…"

"I… see…" Kimimaro mused as he leaned against the wall. "However, you managed to obtain the Uchiha, correct?"

Kabuto shook his head regretfully. "No. The Sannin Jiraiya and a surprisingly strong ANBU prevented me from getting the boy just as I managed to disable him. The men that I brought with me were killed easily… even Orochimaru-sama would have trouble escaping with the Uchiha alive if he had been in my position…"

The Kaguya frowned and looked at his hands. "I should have been there. Things would have been different if this accursed disease wasn't within me…"

The spy sighed. "Kimimaro, no one, not even Orochimaru-sama, can predict every little possibility. What is happening to you is unfortunate, as well as the invasion… however, there is still hope. After I treat Orochimaru-sama, I will bring back someone who will bring you to your full potential again, and with his aid, you will never have to worry about your sickness…"

The white-haired boy's eyes widened. "You have someone that can cure me?"

Kabuto smiled. "Yes… his methods are a bit unorthodox, but I assure you he is the best at what he does without question. I need you to stay in the base here and rest. I will prepare your medicine for the next few weeks, and I need you to take them as instructed, but most importantly, you need to be here at all times and not do anything reckless. Any further stress on your body will only make things harder to deal with when my contact finally gets here. Do you understand?"

Kimimaro nodded slowly as he got back onto his feet. "If it will enable me to be of service to Orochimaru-sama once more, then I will do whatever it takes. All I ask is that you please hurry and ensure that Orochimaru-sama is well…"

"I'll tell Jūgo you said hi…" Kabuto watched as the pale boy slowly walked down the corridor. He felt some guilt in lying to the boy, but it was partially his fault. Despite being around their master for so long, the Kaguya had yet to assume that he or his master had ever misled him or detect it in either one of them. Oh well. He wasn't lying when he said that the person he was bringing back would bring the boy to his full potential again…

Sasori was rather skilled, and no doubt he would be interested in a puppet that would never break…

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the northern part of the Land of Fire:

Zabuza groaned as he fell back onto his bed. The mission he was already on was proving to be more of a pain in the ass than he had guessed, and that was saying something. From the get go, the relationship between his group and the Kumo shinobi had been unstable. The Hyūga kid was glaring at them or turning on his bloodline every other minute, which eventually got the attention and ire of that dark skinned red headed girl. Then the groups had to keep their respective teammates from killing each other. How the bloody hell that nervous wreck of a boy ever became a swordsman of all things was a mystery to Zabuza.

Whenever the boy and the girl weren't at each other's throats, the rest of the Kumo chūnin were asking the girl with the pointy object fetish or him at least 1000 questions about their weapons or their missions or what styles they use, etc, etc. Tenten didn't seem to mind as much, but he on the other hand felt like he was going to kill them at any moment. The man wasn't known for being the best at the silent homicide technique because he answered any question he was asked, for crying out loud.

It didn't help things when on the first night their 'client' decided to start training the genin and didn't bother to hide it from the rest of the group. First, the man gave Neji another book on how to read body movement, claiming it to be an advanced version of the ones he had already read. Zabuza had no doubt that the boy was practicing what he had learned on the Kumo shinobi when they weren't paying attention. The man then continued to shock and annoy by forcing the largest of the group to hand his prized sword over to Tenten so she could meditate in the presence of the blade in order to understand its inner workings more. Zabuza had no fucking clue what the hell the man was trying to teach the girl, and he saw that no one else did either, but he did notice when the girl thought she was alone with his sword that she would practice some stances and kata with it… and that even though she wasn't strong enough to use it completely, many of her moves were uncomfortably similar to his own…

But what pissed the man off most of all was what Lee's training was supposed to be. While Tenten man…girlhandled his sword, HE was busy teaching the boy green wonder the Silent Killing Technique… one of the few things the boy could actually learn due to his inability to mold chakra… oh, joy. The lightning wielder stated logically that Lee needed as much help as he could get in order to raise his ability to match his friends, and while his taijutsu and speed were unmatched, there was only so many things he could do before the lack of variety in his skills would come back to bite him in the ass. That's where Zabuza came in.

That wasn't to say that the man didn't have some joy torturing the boy, though. The first thing the jōnin did to the lad was order him to shave off his massive eyebrows for the sake of training. While almost everyone else thought that Zabuza was secretly doing the world a favor (when in reality it would be an additional plus), Scabbard saw within moments why the man had actually given out the order and linked it to training.

While seemingly useless, eyebrows actually serve an important purpose to all human beings: they keep sweat out of the owner's eyes. Without eyebrows, it is unusually easy for sweat that has come from the forehead to fall into the eyes and blind a person. No eyebrows, no sight. It was because of this simple rule that Zabuza, who naturally had eyebrow so thin that he decided to shave them, was so proficient in fighting with his eyes closed and locating others through hearing. After that, it was simply a matter of learning how to move quietly and quickly enough to take down your opponents, who were hopefully completely unaware of where you were. The kid had the speed down, and his physical conditioning had made it so that he would be able to learn how to move without making a sound fairly quickly. No, it was the boy's stealth and other senses that needed the most help. The boy and his bigger double yelled so much that his hearing needed some extreme help learning how to shut up and listen to the smaller things, and the kid's sense of honor was an incredible road block that would have needed to be dealt with if Scabbard didn't use his annoying logic to convince the boy otherwise…

Aw, screw it… when it came to the eyebrows, the boy looked even more ridiculous without any than with those giant caterpillars on his face. Even Neji couldn't help but stare and laugh when he first saw his teammate without those things on his face. Hell, Scab managed to whip up some fake stick on eyebrows from out of nowhere to give the boy for when he wasn't training just so he wouldn't be distracted every time he looked at the kid anymore.

Zabuza sighed again as he looked at the ceiling of his room and looked at Tenten meditating again in the corner with his sword. It was almost like traveling with Haku again… only this girl wasn't obsessive about making his dreams come true. To be perfectly honest he felt that this was the best person in his group he could share a room with without going nuts. The Hyūga brat was too emotionless, the Lee kid was just the opposite, and he doubted that he would be able to share a room with Scabbard without getting one of them killed by the next morning. The girl was different, though. She was actually pleasant to be around when you finally managed to get her to stop staring at your sword… if you had one. True, he had to leave his most prized possession in her hands… the hands of the same person who had chased him around the entire village to drool over, but it was still better than talking to a freak who did nothing but talk about youth all the time, or some uptight brat. To his right, the rest of the kids and the king asshole himself were sharing a room, and to his left the Kumo shinobi were staying. The next day, the two groups would split up and hopefully there would be a period of time for the ex-Kiri shinobi to be able to think…

Boom!

"Of course…" The man grumbled getting up again, ignoring the shocked reaction that Tenten was displaying. "… Just as I was about to get some rest for once…" The man snapped his fingers in Tenten's direction as he stood up, prompting the girl to hand him his sword. The explosion had not been directly on top of the group, but it had been nearby… which meant that there was going to be a fight soon that involved a third party. "Come on…" He sighed as he walked to the door and put the sword on the holster on his back. The man had yet to change and was still in all his traveling clothes. "Let's see what the hell is going on so we can kill it…"

Tenten sweatdropped as she got her equipment and scrolls in place and followed the man outside, where everyone else was standing and talking seriously.

"The hell is going on?" Karui asked frantically. "Is it 'invade every bloody town in the Land of Fire' week or something?"

"It's probably just some bandits…" Scabbard mused logically. "The invasion of Konoha is still relatively new news. No doubt those on the other side of the law are assuming that this is a perfect time to pull something big while shinobi here are busy stabilizing the village. I would bet a large sum of money that this isn't the only town in the Land of Fire that is going to experience these issues within the following few days…"

Zabuza nodded as he glanced towards where some fires were growing. "Yeah, this is normally what happens when something along the lines of a major occurrence happens at a shinobi village. I should know. When the rest of the rebellion and I tried to off Yagura, we failed but managed to raise a bunch of hell in the process. As I was getting out of the Land of Water I saw a bunch of activity from the local bandits… and some other wannabe activists, try and make their moves on the local populace." The bandaged man rolled his eyes. "Poor idiots never stood a chance… though that was partially due to the fact that half the time they 'accidentally' ran into my pursuers during their merry making."

Omoi looked around nervously. "Oh man… what if there's a strong shinobi there? We would have to fight him… and then we would die… and Raikage-sama would blame us or Konoha… and then the Fourth Shinobi War would start… and then…"

Bam! Karui punched her teammate on the back of his head. "Will you shut up already?"

"I suggest we leave the village…" Samui said stoically, getting shocked and angered looks from the rest of the people there. Even Yugito showed some distaste for the idea. "This is not our fight or our country. We have no place here…"

"Why am I not surprised…?" Neji spat out, glaring at the girl.

"Neji. Stay quiet. The girl is somewhat correct. This is not their fight…" Scabbard said without any change in his voice or demeanor. "If any harm would to befall them during their stay in the Land of Fire, the Raikage would be most displeased. It is not our place to tell them what to do and not do in this sort of situation."

"Even though it makes sense, it is still most unyouthful, Sensei!" Lee said with a frown, his fake eyebrows working as well as his old ones. "Had I been in their home and something like this happen, I would go out of my way to help them regardless…"

"Lee…" Tenten sighed, putting her hand on the boy's shoulder and calming him down. "Sensei has a point. Relations between our countries aren't that strong. We can't do anything to risk bigger problems from coming up just because we think we have to protect everyone in trouble we come across…"

"Tenten's right." Scabbard agreed. "In fact, you must remember what your jobs are as well… which is right now to protect me, not the villagers…" Even Zabuza gaped at the man disbelievingly as the man stated his piece. "Should you go out without my permission to protect the villagers, I will make a note of it in the mission report when we get back…" He paused as he let his words sink in before turning to a shocked Yugito. "I believe you mentioned earlier that these young chūnin here are assigned to protect you, correct?"

Yugito nodded, though she didn't bother to hide her glare at the calm man. The woman wasn't known for her daring acts of heroism, but she like anyone else did not like to leave innocents alone for the slaughter when something could be done about it. "Yes. I did. What of it Ōgakari-san?"

The man bowed politely. "Would you like to take a late-night stroll with me?"

Everyone gaped at the man, not believing what he had just said. "WHAT?"

"I tend to find that walking aimlessly during the night is more pleasant with company…" The man said simply with a hint of a grin on his face. "Even with all this ruckus going around, I can't help but feel the urge to simply walk with no particular direction in mind just for the sake of doing so…"

Yugito paused before finally understanding what the man was getting at and tried her hardest not to grin. "Hmm… You know, I do believe that other than the trash attacking the town, it is a rather nice night. I think I may join you…"

"Scabbard-sensei! While I must commend you for your flames of youth, this is not exactly the best time to try to umph!" Lee's aimless tirade was cut short when Tenten and Neji held him back and gagged him.

"So I'm guessing you two want us to make sure that your night on the town doesn't get interrupted, right?" Zabuza chuckled, causing the rest of the teens there to look at him confused for a moment before finally understanding what was happening.

"Yugito-sensei, I must object to this decision. There is no significant reason why you should…" Samui tried to object, only to be interrupted by her squad leader.

"Actually, there is. Scabbard-san and I have been talking about potential… deals and meetings between important individuals from our countries and others. I myself have already participated in one and am under the impression that there will be more in the future. I believe it is in our country's best interest to continue our involvement with them." Yugito countered in an authoritative voice, causing Zabuza to snort for a moment. "Now if you will excuse us, Ōgakari-san and I are going on a walk with no particular destination in mind… it could be a long one, so I would prepare as necessary…"

Neji sighed as the two adults walked casually in the direction of the burning buildings. "I had hoped that he would be more manageable than the rest of his clan… obviously, I was mistaken…"

Tenten turned to Zabuza. "I think your sword has enough water stored in it to put out the fires if you use it sparingly…"

Zabuza's eyes widened. "Wait… how did you know that about my sword? Sparky promised me that he wouldn't tell anyone but me and Haku about the upgrades he made to it…"

The girl looked to the side nervously. "It's… kind of related to what Sensei is training me to do. I can understand the nature of swords that I hold and how their users wielded them… and I've been getting better at it lately…"

 _'So that's why the bastard was so adamant about me giving my sword to her…'_ The man mentally noted before he looked around at what he had. "All right. You guys heard what our annoying bosses said. Since that ass Scab is so anal attentive about things, we'll have to help out some of the villagers as well, otherwise he'll complain about how their constant moaning ruined his night." The man smirked as the rest of the shinobi there nodded in understanding, though some did reluctantly. "You guys have flares on you, right?" More nods. "Good. Use them if you encounter an opponent you think you can't handle and need backup. We'll be in three groups. Kumo brats, Gai's brats, and me. Kumo brats got the main guard duty and will handle the bulk of the enemies here. Gai's brats will help out, but focus on helping out any civilians that might be in a tough spot. Neji, you're in command there. As for me… well, I'm just going to be around any fire and try to put it out… after I enjoy some time taking out the idiots that started them in the first place…"

Samui frowned. "Why should we have to take orders from you? You are not our commanding officer, and for all we know you could be luring us into a trap…"

The girl was cut short when Zabuza's massive sword stopped just before her cleavage. Looking up, the girl saw that the man was holding the blade with only one hand. "Several things, girl. One, I have the most experience out of everyone here, so unless you can come up with a better plan before those two leave our sights, be my guest. Two, you should really think before arguing with anyone that has been a member of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, and Three," The man decided to try out that Presence trick that the Ōgakari and the brat taught him in his spare time. Soon enough, the teens around him started to shiver as they momentarily saw the image of a demon above the man, grinning the same way its caster was through his bandages. "…If I wanted to kill your team, I wouldn't need a trick to do it."

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"I heard you're leaving tomorrow…" Shikamaru sighed as he and Temari lay down on a hill and gazed up at the sky.

"You gonna miss me?" Temari asked in an amused tone.

"Who knows?" The Nara replied with a smirk on his face before the girl next to him 'playfully' hit him in the stomach.

"Keep acting like that and I'll start to think about hanging around other guys…" The girl huffed.

"Too bad. You're an interesting person to play shōgi against." The boy yawned. "And just when I thought I had someone else other than my sensei to play against, too…"

Temari deadpanned. "Not exactly the jealous type, are you?"

"Nope. Too troublesome. There are more important reasons to get angry than seeing a girl that apparently doesn't have any interest in you go out with another man…" The Nara sighed.

"Is that so?" The girl replied somewhat sternly. "Then I guess you won't mind me trying my hand at that Naruto kid, then…"

Shikamaru smirked. "Maybe, but nowhere near as much as Hinata would. I doubt you would even last a week before you mysteriously disappear, only to have your body found later in the Forest of Death…"

"No way…" Temari gaped. "You mean to tell me that those two are actually a pair? I mean, Ino had some suspicions…"

"But at the moment, only people who can keep their mouths shut actually know…" The boy warned. "Otherwise there would be some… complications regarding Hinata's family."

"Ah…" The girl blanched. "Got it…" She paused for a moment. "… Hey, Shika?"

The boy rose an eyebrow at the use of his name. "Yeah?"

The girl looked down in concern. "Why… aren't you afraid of my brother?"

The boy yawned. "Should I be? I mean sure he wears makeup, but I highly doubt he'll try to come onto me…"

"You know what I'm talking about…" Temari interrupted. "Why aren't you afraid of Shukaku… or Gaara for that matter? If he had lost control…"

"Then my friends would have jumped in to save me." Shikamaru yawned. "It kind of helps that one of them is… similar to Gaara… if you catch my drift."

The girl gaped. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me, just don't expect me to repeat it. The punishment for speaking about the subject is death, you know." The boy sighed. "But yeah, I'm used to being around people like your brother… somewhat. Anyways, don't to be too hard on him. From what I've heard, he's had it pretty rough, so I wouldn't expect him to be exactly normal at any point in his life… but then again, if you manage to find me a completely sane jōnin and I'll be surprised…"

The girl gaped at the boy for a while. Never had she heard of someone refer to her brother in such a casual way before. At home he was only spoken of as a demon or something similar… for good reason really, but that was besides the point. For as long as she could remember, she had never heard or seen someone treat Gaara as a normal person for longer than a week before they realized that the boy was only a hair trigger away from killing them… though if she remembered correctly, they treated the boy poorly even before he became a maniac. Uncle Yashamaru was slightly different, but even at a young age the girl could see that the man secretly hated her brother. Temari herself had at best been on the line her entire life on that subject, and it had been enough to allow her to convince the redhead to not kill someone every once in a while. It was one of the main reasons why the siblings were on the same team. It was also the main reason why even though many of the people in her home village trusted her with their lives, not many were actually willing to spend extended periods of time with her. "Ugh…" She moaned as she rubbed her forehead. "This whole situation with my brother is just getting so…"

"Troublesome?" Shikamaru grinned lazily. "That tends to happen around people like him, if not for one thing then for another. Thankfully, since we're ninja, we learn to adapt, so it's not as bad as it could be… most of the time, anyways. The way I see it, as long as you prove to him and yourself that you are trying to be his sister and help him out, you are in no danger of being hurt by him… plus, I heard that Jiraiya fixed his seal…"

Temari blinked. "Come again?"

The boy sighed as he knew he just threw his future girlfriend for a loop. "Troublesome story short, Gaara's seal holding Shukaku sucked, and the Sannin Jiraiya fixed it. It's the reason why you've probably been seeing him closing his eyes more often than normal. He can sleep now without losing control… though from what I heard, he still needs some practice actually falling asleep…"

"How… how do you know all of this?" The girl whispered frantically. Gaara's condition was among her village's top secrets. Anything related to it was deemed vital information that could get you killed if you told anyone else. The blonde was starting to worry about her village's security greatly if a genin of another village was privy to such information.

Said genin however, seemed to not care much about the severity of the situation. "I'm part of a certain circle of people who make it our business to know things like this." He yawned. "Gaara's too. In fact, we're the reason why the invasion countermeasures went so well…"

Temari glared at the boy. "Oh? Then what may I ask is your special groups' goal then?"

Shikamaru yawned again. "Eh. We're just trying to reduce the collateral damage that's going around and make sure things don't get out of control. You'd be surprised how many freaks are out there with the power of a kage that wouldn't mind starting another shinobi war…" Ignoring the girl's reaction, he started to count on his fingers. "1, 2… yeah, about 10 of them according to what we know, all working together if you can believe it. At least a couple of them are able to waste an entire shinobi village with a single jutsu…" He paused as he put on a thoughtful expression. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that one of them is from your village. I think his name was Sasori…"

Temari was white as a ghost as she processed the information she was told. "S-Sasori? Sasori of the Red Sand?" She whispered. "You're going up against him?" Sasori was a legend in Suna, almost as big as the Third Kazekage was. The man's puppetry skills were said to be on par with the original creators of the art, and many of his dolls were still used to this day, or were still in the process of being disassembled in order to figure out how they worked, even though he had mysteriously disappeared over 20 years ago. Hell, Kankurō's current and potential future puppets were all made by the man.

"Yep…" The boy yawned. "In fact, his grandmother is the one who found your old man's body before the invasion started and sent us that message in time. I heard she's a crazy old bat, but then again, if she's a ninja that can only mean she's strong as hell…"

"The elders are in on this, too?" Temari gasped incredulously. Chiyo was known for her devil may care attitude towards pretty much anything these days OTHER than Sasori. The girl had heard her father go on long tirades fueled from the stubborn woman's resolve to not move her wrinkled ass from her dwelling and help him train his shinobi and help his regime. Pausing for a moment, Temari then remembered that not even a day before the invasion, Baki had been running around the place holding a scroll in his hands for dear life. She knew she had remembered seeing the seal before, but couldn't remember where… but now it hit her. It was Chiyo's council advisory seal. Only those who the scroll was meant for or the Kazekage were allowed to open such high priority documents without suffering severe consequences. The thing was that it was used so rarely that almost no one knew what it looked like any more.

"More or less…" Shikamaru confirmed. "That's about it for those involved in Suna… though I heard that Sasori has one or two sleeper spies in some positions of power too, so you might want to lay low with this information for a while…"

Temari gulped heavily. "Wh-what do you want me to do with this? Why are you telling me?"

Shikamaru looked at the blonde and smirked. "Why not? As far as women go, you're one of the least troublesome I know. If it will help you not get killed, then I'll lend you a hand every once in a while… if it's not too much work, of course." He yawned. "Regardless… we've heard that things will start to pick up again in about 3 years… give or take. I'm guessing that it might be enough time for you and Kankurō to reach the rank of jōnin… maybe…"

The suna girl opened and closed her mouth several times before grabbing her head and moaning. "Ugh! I can't tell if you're trying to motivate me or piss me off!"

"Just pick the one that makes you less insulted and angry. It'll be easier for the both of us." The boy chuckled before the girl punched him in the stomach. "I said less angry!" He wheezed.

"I did." The girl grumbled irritably as she got back up again. "I'm holding you to your word about helping me out, Shikamaru. I'll be writing you every other week or so. Kami help me if you don't write back…"

"Wouldn't dream of it…" The boy gasped. "It's too painful otherwise. Just make sure to be careful what you talk about."

Temari groaned. "Talking to you is giving me a headache. I gotta go before you start telling me that you're some kind of time traveler or something and we dated already or something else that retarded…"

The Nara chuckled. "Oh darn. You already figured out the next part of our conversation…"

"Ha ha…" The girl laughed sarcastically while rolling her eyes and began to walk away. "Don't expect the first letter to take a long time to get to you, Nara, and know that if you don't respond quickly, you'll have a pissed off ranking political member of Suna on your lazy ass."

"I'll try to keep that in mind…" The boy replied as he stayed on the hill and looked up at the sky. "It might be troublesome… but I think it would be smart to meet up again before anything big happens…"

Temari paused. "… aren't you a bit too young for me to ask me out on a date, kid?" She grinned.

"If you want, you could always bring Gaara." He shrugged.

"You know… that doesn't sound like a bad idea…" The girl smirked as she walked away. "Thanks for the idea, Shikamaru…"

The boy could only gape and stare at the girl as she disappeared. "… Please tell me she didn't just make things more troublesome…"

o. o. o.

Several days later, in an undisclosed cave:

"Orochimaru is dead…" Rasped the most disfigured of 8 shadowy figures that each stood on a finger of a massive statue.

"Heheh. You're a bit late there, Zetsu…" Chuckled the largest of the shadows, one that had beady eyes and a large sword on its back. "Itachi and I found out about that almost a week ago while we were in Konoha."

"Apparently, it only cost you both your robes…" The second tallest mused. "… I expect your payment to come soon, Kisame…"

"I don't want to hear that from an annoying old man that can't keep his temper in check and not kill his partners…" Kisame growled, as he looked at the once-again vacant finger that was designated for the partner of the heart thief.

"Heheh. Even Sasori-dana and I know this already." Chuckled the youngest of the group.

"Is that so?" The Leader asked curiously. "I was under the impression that you two were not in the land of fire at the time…"

"The spy that I planted in the traitor's ranks approached me yesterday with the information…" The most obscure looking shadow answered. "He has provided me with some… interesting information that I intend on capitalize on within the next few days…"

"You and your foolish human puppets…" Deidara growled. "How you can see those things as true art I will never know… and I still don't trust that spy of yours. Something about him rubs me the wrong way, hmm."

"Enough." The leader interrupted. "Sasori, Zetsu. Have either of you come across Orochimaru's ring?"

"From what we saw, there was nothing left of that guy's body." A brighter voice came from the plant like shadow. "The old geezer he was fighting torched him with a powerful fire jutsu. Not even bones were left…" The darker voice continued.

"My spy told me that about a year ago, Orochimaru got his hands on some sort of lightning wolf demon…" Sasori answered. "Apparently it was more clever than he anticipated, as it escaped not even a couple of hours after he stored it in his base… but not before making a chew toy of whatever it was that the traitor was using to hold the ring and turning his personal lab into a shambles. It hasn't been seen since."

"Hahahahaha!" Laughed the bright Zetsu and Deidara. "Of all the things to happen, it gets eaten by a mutt!" Zetsu laughed. "And to think that Orochimaru was supposed to be one of our smarter members!"

"Are you sure this guy was a better partner than me?" Deidara laughed as he talked to Sasori.

"You _will_ shut up, or I'll make you into my next project, brat…" The puppeteer growled angrily.

"Heh. Lighten up, Sasori. Even you have to admit that it's a bit amusing." Kisame sniggered.

"Enough." The Leader ordered sternly, not at all amused by the recent turn of events. "Should anyone encounter this lightning wolf again, follow it and find out if it has the ring, or is in contact with someone who does. We have more important things to discuss than where our ring is now or what it is in." Deidara and Kisame sniggered. "Itachi. Kisame. Report on the Kyūbi."

Kisame huffed. "We almost had the brat, but that freak Jiraiya got in the way. I should have cut his legs off when we had the chance… the kid is clever, I'll give him that."

"The container of the Kyūbi, Naruto Uzumaki, has shown to have a number of powerful jutsu in his arsenal…" Itachi said stoically. "Even though he is young, it would be inadvisable to underestimate him… though I still doubt that he is beyond any of our abilities to obtain."

"Naruto Uzumaki?" The bright Zetsu asked curiously. "We saw him fight in the Chūnin Exams before Orochimaru attacked."

"He's very talented…" The dark half commented. "He can already perform wind and earth element techniques quite well… and he is rather proficient in using shadow clones…"

"You don't have to tell me about the earth jutsu…" Kisame grumbled. "The brat gave me a headache with those damn walls of his…"

"Yeah, but get this." The white half interrupted. "The kid looks a lot like the Fourth Hokage, if you look at their pictures close enough…"

"Hoh?" Kakuzu mused curiously. "The brat's head would fetch a pretty penny if word of that got out, even if it wasn't true…"

"Who the jinchūriki is related to is irrelevant to our plans, Zetsu." The Leader said. "I was hoping that we would be able to get our hands on some of the jinchūriki early so that we would not have to bother with them later, but it seems as if that goal has been lost. No matter. Either way, the Kyūbi needs to be sealed last. Moving on, Zetsu's surveillance has identified the container of the Ichibi. Have any of you found any information on who any of the other containers are, or where they may be?"

"Last I heard, the container of the Yonbi was still hiding out in the mountain ranges on the southeastern border of Iwa, hmm." Deidara mused. "I know that the Gobi's holder was being held in some secret prison, but I bet I could get the location if you get me some time…"

"Forget it. You'd just blow up the informant…" Sasori grumbled. "I'll find out where the Gobi is."

"What was that?" The youngest person there yelled.

"The Nanabi was given to my old village years ago." Kakuzu mused. "Since we haven't heard anything about it for a long time, we can assume it's still there somewhere… other than that, I don't know."

"Yagura-kun was killed several years ago…" Kisame chuckled. "… so I have no idea where the Sanbi is. The Rokubi should still be under Kiri's control, though."

"That leaves the Nibi and the Hachibi…" The Leader mused. "It is safe to assume that Kumo is in possession of at least one of them. Until we can confirm the locations and identities of all the jinchūriki, we will put off any other operations that are related to them. Kakuzu, Sasori, Zetsu. I expect you three to be in charge of finding this information."

"Great." Deidara groaned. "More talking to fools who cannot appreciate art."

"Be quiet, or I swear I will replace your mouth with a mechanical one so that I can shut you up whenever I want…" The puppet master growled.

"Now that's art." Kisame chuckled.

"Kakuzu…" The leader continued. "I have heard of another individual that may prove to be a useful partner to you. Rumor has it that his… skills are perfect when combined with yours. I will send you more information on him within the next few weeks."

"Understood." The masked man replied.

"Zetsu, is there anything else that you think is valuable information before we end the meeting?" The Leader asked.

"… There is the Ōgakari clan…" The dark half commented.

"Never heard of them." Deidara said with a yawn.

"Me neither." Kakuzu added. "Probably just a bunch of low bounty no-names…"

"Hey, didn't those guys in Konoha say that that idiot in the tree you put to sleep was an Ōgakari?" Kisame asked Itachi. "He seemed pretty weak to me."

"Those weaklings took down Manda as if it were a game…" The dark Zetsu stated.

"Yeah." The white half chuckled. "That dragon of theirs kept on blowing off parts of that giant snake. It was really cool."

"Dragon?" The Leader asked, giving his full attention to the plant man. "A summon?"

"I bet it's better looking than that monstrosity that Deidara calls art…" Sasori mused.

"More like a pet." The white half answered. "But when we first saw it, it was tiny and could sit on your shoulder. Then when the fighting started, it disappeared and came back the size of a horse."

"It could speak, too…" The dark half added. "I'm pretty sure it called the clan members its servants… though it didn't seem to look like their relationship was as such when they were jumping and stabbing it because it killed almost all the shinobi they were fighting with a single attack. They were acting like a bunch of children. From what we saw, though, I think it would be safe to assume that it could be as strong as a bijū… and each of the clan members other than the elder is at the very least a jōnin."

"And what would you put said elder at?" Konan asked, making herself known for the first time in the conversation.

"Kage." The dark half said without hesitation. "He aided the Third in his fight with Orochimaru when the traitor resurrected the First and Second Hokage. The giant of a geezer took both of the Kage on at once without breaking a sweat and held his ground without any problems. He even managed to somehow get around the technique and turned the two Kage on Orochimaru after rescuing the genin used as sacrifices. We couldn't see how he did it, though…"

Deidara whistled. "Not bad. The old fart has some tricks up his sleeve, then."

"We will keep this in mind when we go to obtain the Kyūbi." Pain said. "Is that all?"

Zetsu shifted momentarily. "One last thing…" The white half said in an unsure tone. "We don't know who it was or where they were from, but during the invasion, there was someone who attacked the barrier Orochimaru's followers made. The technique he used was unlike anything we had heard or seen before…"

"Oh yeah…" Kisame mused. "I remember hearing some of the villagers talking about some weird technique that was used. Something about it having an odd bell screeching sound…"

"Yeah… that's it." The dark half agreed. "It was shaped like a fūma shuriken with a large ball in it, made completely out of chakra, and it could be thrown at high speeds. Given from what we saw, it would be best to avoid it altogether if you want to live to see another day. The thing can expand tremendously and blow up with incredible force. Even from where we were hiding, we could tell that it was extraordinarily powerful. Once again, though, we don't know who used the technique since there were shinobi from multiple villages present. For all we know, it could have been someone from Kusa… but whoever it was, they must have had reserves on par with Kisame…"

"Duly noted…" The Leader mused. "Since you now have this information, I expect you all to act accordingly. We will resume our hunt for the bijū in 3 years' time. Until then, try not to draw any more attention to ourselves than we already have…"

One by one, the shadows disappeared, ending with the Leader's.

o. o. o.

With Itachi and Kisame:

"Well, that was an interesting meeting. We haven't all gotten together since Orochimaru ran away 7 years ago. You think if someone brings him back from the dead, we can do it again?" Kisame chuckled as he stood up in the cave that he and his partner had been meditating in.

Itachi merely looked at the blue man and stood up. "It would be best if that didn't happen. Orochimaru had always been a thorn in our sides that we were bound to have to deal with at one point or another. The fact that someone managed to kill him means that we have one less problem to deal with…" The man reached into his coat and took out… a packet of pocky.

Kisame looked at the candy curiously. "You know, you've been going through that stuff a lot lately, Itachi. I never knew that you had such a sweet tooth. It's almost comical."

Itachi simply walked past his partner and out of the cave. He stuck one of the sticks in his mouth and lowered his head far enough that the collar of his shirt hid his mouth, making it so that the only indication he was eating something was a small chewing sound. To be honest, the man never really paid much attention to sweets either, until the day he got his memories back…

When Itachi had jumped into the room that Naruto had originally been staying in to avoid the exploding clone's blast, he came across the real Naruto. The two only stared at each other for a few moments before the boy quickly handed him a letter with something in it, which Itachi professionally slipped away in the blink of an eye before he kicked the boy through the wall and continued the charade.

It wasn't until two days later that Itachi found a private enough place to check the contents of the letter, though of course he still took the necessary precautions, just in case it was a trap. Inside, he found a letter, a box of pocky and a black chain link. Looking at the paper first with his Sharingan, the man quickly scanned the first paragraph... and frowned…

_Yo Itachi,_

_What up? Greetings from the future and all that crap. Wait! Don't burn the letter yet! This isn't some stupid prank! Even if it sounds a bit off, give us a chance to prove it first! You know that chain link that came with this letter? Press it on your forehead and you'll understand… well, not everything, but it will get you started better than any letter will. Just a side note though, you will have a massive headache from all the information coming into your head for about an hour, give or take a few minutes. Memory influx can do that to a person, but I'm sure you already know that after dealing with Tsukuyomi, right? Anyways, the rest of the letter will make MUCH more sense if you read it after the headache goes away. And if you still want motivation to do so, here it is: Your plan failed, and the one-eyed bastard mind fucked your brother._

Itachi was many things, but he was rarely as blatantly confused and irritated as he was now. The information he was being given was beyond casual. It was like the group didn't assume that the letter could be stolen by any of the members of his group at any time, or that he wouldn't betray them in a moment's notice. Looking at the chain link in his hand, the man sighed. Regardless of how unprofessional the writer was with hidden messages, they obviously knew more than enough to convince him that they were on his side. Kakashi had made that apparent when they talked in his genjutsu. The scarecrow was reluctant on talking about some subjects, but it was obvious that he knew what was going on regardless. Weighing his options and remembering what he was actually fighting for, the man closed his eyes and pressed the link to his forehead.

An hour later, Itachi managed to pick himself up off the ground with some haggard breathing and looked at his hands. "I… died…" He said quietly, as he processed the new information in his head. The deaths of several members of Akatsuki, the invasion, the current differences between the two timelines, his brother's extremely drastic change in personality between them, their… fight. The more he thought about the connections between the two timelines, the more he realized that the things that were different were in the most logical places from his new allies' standpoint, given that they too had undoubtedly gone 'back'. Sasuke was more in control of his emotions… to a degree. Orochimaru's invasion had failed. Zabuza had apparently survived his encounter with Naruto… Naruto. He wondered if the small portion of his chakra that he had given the child had been put to use yet. Looking at the letter, he continued to read its contents.

 _This part should make more sense after you get your memories back. Just a side note, since you actually died in the past run, you should have a chain link tattoo on your body. That will come into play later._ Itachi made a mental note to do a self-body search later when Kisame was done hogging the bathroom to look at himself in the mirror in his boxers.

 _After you died, "Madara" (We are still not sure if it really is him. If not, we have a number of guesses of who it really could be) got his hands on Sasuke before anyone else and played some mind games with your brother by telling him a different story of what happened 7 years ago. And before you ask, no, your stunt involving sticking Amaterasu into Sasuke's Sharingan didn't work. Your secret foe is cleverer than even you gave him credit for._ Itachi made a grunting sound. He had hoped that that last act had been enough to kill the man. Apparently not.

_HIS version says that the village started to distrust your clan when the Kyūbi attacked, since rumor has it that only an Uchiha can control it (when we both know that he's the reason for the attack in the first place), and that he was completely innocent. This forced the Uchiha to move their compound to the outskirts of the village. Relations between the clan and the village got worse until your clan planned a coup. The Third and his advisors tried to calm things down, but in the end, they were the ones that ordered you to kill your clan… and he just so happened to help, since you knew he was around. You two then killed your family, but saved Sasuke, because you couldn't kill him and begged the old man let him off the hook. You THEN blackmailed the elders and Danzō, saying that if anything happened to Sasuke, you would leak village secrets. The old man has told us that pretty much other than the fact that he was the one who set the Kyūbi on everyone, the rest was true… though some of us are guessing that he secretly suggested the idea of a coup to begin with._

_Oh, he also spouted some bull about the Senju and the Uchiha clans being ancestors of the Sage of Six Paths and some kind of eternal rivalry crap and blah blah blah, no one really gives a damn. If it comes up again, we'll talk more about it then._

_ANYWAYS, in a nutshell: Your brother went nuts, 'cause he's a gullible idiot, and captured the Hachibi. Pain destroyed Konoha to get Naruto, Naruto does his thing and gets him and Konan on the side of good, but Pain dies in the process. Danzō becomes the Hokage (Yeah… just to let you know, he has like… a dozen Sharingan implanted in his body. You have Orochimaru to thank for that.)_ Itachi nearly tore the paper up in silent rage when he read this part. _And then in the grand fight to determine the fate of the world and all that crap, the old geezer betrayed everyone at the last second and Madara got the Kyūbi… which is when Ghost came in, did his thing, and everyone's in the past again. Huzzah._ Itachi stared at the picture of the chibi man with glasses giving a peace sign. Something told him that his new future was going to be more difficult than he first anticipated… and not for comforting reasons…

_If you need proof that this isn't some god awful genjutsu, just wait. Kakuzu should be paired up with that religious nut named Hidan within the next year or two._

_As for what we want you to do at the moment… well, obviously you don't have to do anything yet. When your delightful secret boss joins the group again, try and get in contact with us. It shouldn't be that hard for you to lose Kisame for a day or two… though now that we think about it, it might be helpful if you somehow gave us a blood sample sometime soon so that we can check out that disease you have. With Tsunade working on it, it shouldn't be too hard to heal if given enough time…_ The man's eyes widened as he realized that he was now technically secret allies with the best doctor in the Elemental Nations. Perhaps going along with these individuals would be more rewarding than he originally anticipated.

_Anyways… that's about it. Oh, and if you're curious about the pocky… well, we heard a rumor that you really liked the stuff. We have no idea if it's true or not, but so far, the only person that we know doesn't like it is your brother, and that's because he doesn't like any sweet things… we had to keep Shadow from killing him after he said that in front of her. Her sweet tooth is somewhat legendary in some circles. Hell, we had trouble slipping the box into the letter without her noticing._

_Hugs and Kisses,_

_The Ōgakari Clan_

Moments after finishing the letter and dedicating… most of it to memory, the man torched the letter. He then paused to look at the small candy box…

"So, Itachi." Kisame mused, snapping the teen out of his thoughts. "… You mind giving me a stick?" The Uchiha didn't say anything as he stared at his partner for a few seconds before he continued to walk away, still chewing slowly on the stick hidden in his mouth. "Well… okay, then…"

Silently, the red eyed man cursed himself. It seemed that being on the run as a shinobi had made him miss more pleasant things in life than he'd first assumed…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Sorry for the short chapter (Or what I consider short, at least), but I'm going to Israel for 2 weeks tomorrow, so I needed to make it this way so I wouldn't feel like crap during the trip. The earliest the next chapter will be is at least 3 weeks because of this, so I hope this sates everyone's taste buds till then.

I was going to put in Sasuke's talk with the third here, but I think it's better to put it off until we get more info from the manga first so I don't screw up anything too much. I'm still trying to figure out how to correct things with how Naruto became a jinchūriki in the first place.

Not much to add. The latest ep. of Shippuden was interesting and disappointing at the same time. The Last Airbender movie, on the other hand, was nauseating. Someone kill M. Night Shamashit, please.

Once again. Worship the Log, Review, and enjoy your summers, folks. I'm off to roast in the middle east.


	48. The thing about accident prone writers is that they never seem to run out of interesting ideas… now if you'll excuse me, I need some more ice for my ankle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 48: The thing about accident prone writers is that they never seem to run out of interesting ideas… now if you'll excuse me, I need some more ice for my ankle.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Clan Compound:

Crypt gurgled to himself like a zombie as he stumbled/fell down the stairs from his room to the kitchen, complete with swaying motion, empty gaze, and foaming of the mouth. It had been the first time in almost a week that he had left his room after starting his work, and it was beginning to affect even him as he stuck his head in the kitchen sink and turned it on with his legs. God, how he loved being triple jointed in every joint below his waist…

Knock, knock, knock, sounded a noise from the front door of the house. The insane man ignored it as he attempted to cool his head down some more. Bad things always happened to him when he answered the door. Plus, he could tell that everyone else other than Scab was in the house too, so one of them would answer it. Grunting to himself, the man took his wet head out from the sink and used his mouth to turn it off before turning to the fridge and opening it with one of his feet.

Knock, Knock, Knock, Knock. The hammering on the door got louder, but Crypt still ignored it as he looked for something decent to sink his teeth into with groggy eyes. Unless he was about to get maimed or yelled at by an angry woman that reminded him of his mother, there was no motivation for him to open that door. Closing the fridge again, the blood specialist sighed and decided to just have an apple from the fruit bowl. He always did love the red ones…

"DAMN IT OOGAKARI!" Roared a mature female from the other side of the door. "I KNOW SOMEONE'S THERE! I CAN HEAR YOU AND SMELL YOU, DAMN IT! OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME I WILL LOCK YOU IN MY CLAN'S KENNEL!"

Crypt blinked dully several times at the front door with an apple in his mouth before sluggishly walking to the source of the ranting and opening it with his foot, revealing not only Tsume Inuzuka, but Yoshino and Shikaku Nara as well. "Murgle waggle?" Crypt asked through the apple in his mouth as he looked at the group.

"Which one is this?" Yoshino asked to her husband.

"The crazy one." Shikaku sighed. "We're here to talk to Ghost and Shadow about some things, Crypt. Are they around?"

Crypt looked at Tsume curiously. "Ma ba ah?"

"I'm here just for Ghost…" The Inuzuka growled.

Crypt could tell that his siblings were still sleeping or goofing off around the house, so being that he was too tired to be that crazy at the moment, he simply opened the door more for the guests and turned around. "Dah." He grunted before walking to the living room. In an instant, the man had spun his scythe around his neck and created a small puddle of blood on the wooden floor, much to the shock of the guests.

"What the?" Yoshino said in shock. Had she not been a chūnin, the sight of what happened would have caused her to pass out.

"Calm down." Shikaku said sternly as he watched the blood move. "I was told about this. Crypt is a seal master that uses his blood in all his works. Apparently, he has some troublesome jutsu that allows him to freely manipulate his blood. Look. The cut around his neck has already healed…" The three looked to see the man's necklace already in place and his neck covered in smooth, flawless skin once again. They then looked at the blood, which had divided itself into two moderately complicated seal arrangements next to each other. Crypt said nothing as he stomped one of his feet on the ground, causing both seals to glow momentarily before a cloud of smoke erupted in each seal. Moments later, Ghost's and Shadow's confused bodies emerged looking around.

"What the…" Shadow mused as she looked down. "Damn it, Crypt! How many times have we told you not to summon us with your seals before 10 in the morning?"

Ghost looked at the irritated Tsume and slumped over. "Aw, man. Did you have to let Tsume of all people in the house this early? I was up really late last night…"

In response to his family's complaining, Crypt whipped his head and threw the apple that was in his mouth at Shadow, nailing her in the face hard before cutting his lips with his teeth and spitting a glob of blood at Ghost. When it hit his brother's forehead, the liquid quickly morphed into another seal and activated, causing another small cloud of smoke to appear and revealed a very angry and startled Tora on the man's head. Said cat then began to make a scratching post out of the still crippled man's head. The apple that had nailed Shadow rebounded and was deftly caught in the insane man's mouth again.

"AHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Ghost roared as he ran around the house trying to get the beast off of his face.

Crypt ignored his brother's pleas as he walked with a slump back up the stairs to his room again. "Murgle mumble growl maha…" He grumbled as he closed the door behind him.

The Naras and the Inuzuka all looked at each other in a bewildered way as they tried to process what had just happened. "So…" Tsume decided to start. "I'm going to let the cat stay on his head for a while… you guys can talk to Shadow first…"

"R-right…" Yoshino said as she turned to the unconscious woman who had a red welt on her forehead and swirls in her eyes. "It might take us a while to wake her up, though…"

Shikaku didn't say anything as he looked at where Crypt disappeared. ' _He used the small amount of blood in his spit to do something as complicated as a summoning seal on his brother's head so quickly… I'm almost terrified to think of what he's capable of doing with seals that he himself considers complicated…'_ The man's inner thoughts were interrupted by his wife hitting him upside the head. "Ow! What did I do this time?"

Yoshino huffed. "As I was SAYING, we should probably take Shadow-san away so that we can talk to her privately while Tsume does the same thing with Ghost-san…"

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP GET THIS CAT OFF MY FACE?" Ghost roared as he ran past the three adults with Tora still assaulting him like no tomorrow.

"ROAR!" Responded an irritated Zuzushi as she shot out of Shadow's unconscious body and latched herself onto Ghost's body, causing the cat to momentarily pause as it clung onto the man's face.

"I think, I have a furball in my throat…" The man wheezed.

"Hiss!" Tora threatened its new rival.

"Growl snort roar chirp!" Zuzushi countered.

"Oi!" Ghost replied indignantly. "That's only half true, other than that one time…!"

Apparently, whatever Ghost was going to excuse himself from this time was interrupted as Tora and Zuzushi decided to wage war on the man's person, kicking up a cloud that covered him from the waist up, causing a trio of screams to be heard from the chaos for the three visitors to hear. Less than 5 minutes later, Tora bolted out of the still open front door with Zuzushi on her tail, leaving a very scratched up and unconscious Ghost laying on the ground and bleeding heavily.

"Mugh…" Shadow groaned as she sat up. "Ugh, my head. What hit me… and who the hell was making that racket?" The girl blinked dully as she looked around, first to the guests, then to Ghost. When she saw her brother, she immediately jumped up and pointed at Tsume. "Oh my god! You killed Ghost!"

"You bastards!" Shouted Crypt from his room.

"Why the hell are you pointing at me?" Tsume countered angrily.

Shadow pointed at Ghost's bleeding body. "Who else would do this to the idiot? The Naras?"

"She has a point there." Shikaku yawned from the couch he'd been sitting in for the past few minutes, only to get slapped upside the head by his wife again.

"Oh, come on!" Tsume shouted. "It was that tiny dragon of yours and the Daimyō's cat that maimed him!"

Shadow snorted. "Yeah, right! Like I'm going to believe THAT one again…"

"So… much… pain…" Ghost whimpered through his scratched body. "Make it stop, Mommy… make it stop… I promise I'll be a good little boy and clean my room without asking…"

"Oh… so he's not dead…" Shadow said off handedly. "… oops?"

"I think we really should get him some help…" Kuromaru mused as he walked up and sniffed the man. "He's losing a lot of blood."

"I'll do it." Yoshino sighed as she opened her medic pack on her back and kneeled down towards the now hallucinating man. "Since it looks like my darling HUSBAND has proven himself to be of so much use yet again…"

"Pleasure to be of service, honey." The whipped man sighed before his wife punched a soft spot in his leg hard. "Tch! I get it! I get it!" He complained as he turned to Shadow. "Anyways, Yoshino and I were here to talk to you about what you taught Shikamaru for the Exams. What my son did was not exactly normal, if you get my drift." He paused. "He also thought it was… time to give me another interesting talk as well…"

Shadow pouted. "Oh come on! Honestly, did these conversations really have to take place so early? I haven't had my second mid-morning snack yet."

"Considering this is the only decent gap of time us council members have gotten all week since we still have to manage the bulk of the financial management and reconstruction of the village, yes." Shikaku replied.

Tsume nodded, the bags under her eyes apparent even through her makeup. "The sooner we can put our minds to rest on the crap regarding you guys, the sooner we can actually get a good night's sleep."

The female Ōgakari snorted. "You actually think you guys will completely figure us out? That's a laugh."

"So… much… hate…" Ghost mumbled through his wrappings as Yoshino continued to treat him by turning him into a mummy.

"You know, that's a pretty interesting scar you have on your chest." The woman mused as she started applying salve to his naked upper body. "Where did you get it?"

Tsume turned to see the hole in Ghost's chest and blinked several moments before whistling in awe. "Ouch. Now that's a mark."

"Crypt did that one." Shadow yawned as she went into the kitchen, causing the guests to freeze in their tracks. "It was a family effort, really… well, I wasn't there at the time, but Crypt was the one who managed to get the damage in."

The guests froze as they looked at the hole in the man's chest, which was clearly a lethal blow by almost any standard. "You… did this to your own kin?" Tsume whispered quietly.

The female Ōgakari yawned. "Hey, don't blame us. Ghost went completely nuts at the time and he was going all-out with his powers, which I might add are the most dangerous out of all of ours. It was a miracle that the blow was even landed in the first place. Brother is impossible to hit when he doesn't want to be. It's part of the reason why he's the clan head when he's not fucking around and actually taking shit seriously. Besides, he got that old thing years ago. It's all water under the bridge as far as we're concerned." She paused in the kitchen. "You guys drink coffee or tea?"

The guests froze at this new information and looked down at Ghost again, who at some point started to sleep with a snot bubble in his nose. "Heheheh. Oooh, Hana. I didn't know you could bend that way… don't tell Anko… she might get jealous…" The man giggled perversely in his sleep.

WHAM! Tsume's foot plowed Ghost's head through the floorboards.

"Tsume!" Yoshino started to yell frantically as she saw Ghost's half wrapped body starting to twitch and attempted to make sure that the man was okay... or at least alive. Shikaku merely groaned and held his head.

Shadow nodded. "Right. Decaf for Tsume. Tea for Yoshino, and coffee for beard face…" She paused as she looked at Kuromaru. "You want anything to drink, Mr. Snuggles?"

The wolf's eyebrow twitched. "Water is fine… and I would appreciate it if you never called me that again." He turned to look at Ghost. "Are you sure he will be all right? The demon cat and your familiar did a number on him… and then Tsume…"

The girl yawned as she prepared the drinks. "Yeah, right. Sure, those might actually hurt him, but it would take something unimaginable to put brother in any actual danger. Trust me on that one…"

"Wait just a moment." Shikaku said firmly. "I thought that Waltz was your clan leader. He's been to all the mandatory meetings and represents your clan more than anyone else. You even told us in one meeting that he is the strongest member of your clan."

Shadow blinked tiredly. "Yeah, we screwed with everyone's heads pretty good, huh? When we answered that question, we interpreted it as 'who is physically the strongest person in your family?' If you had asked who was the most powerful, we would have answered Scab, since he has the most chakra. If, on the other hand, we were asked who would have won in an all-out brawl between the five of us at max power, then Ghost would have been the answer without question." She took out the cups. "Waltz really is in charge when things are nice and calm, so technically your assumptions were correct in that case. He's kind of in charge of public affairs regarding the clan and all that crap. If he isn't around, then Scab takes the mantle to make the right steps. If it's something big, though, Ghost has final say in things, though normally he doesn't use that particular rule unless he feels unusually convinced about his decision. The thing is that Ghost is a lazy shit, so as long as things look like they're going all right, he just lets things take their course and sleeps half the time. Really, he's only the leader if we actually need one, which is rare."

"I taste splinters… and pain…" Ghost whimpered as Yoshino managed to get his head out of the floor.

Tsume growled. "Clan head or not, this has nothing to do with why I'm here, damn it!" She pointed to Ghost. "This idiot has been double dating my daughter and Anko Mitarashi at the same time, and it's smearing my clan's name! Even if they are all strong, I will not have my daughter be part of some childish man's harem for everyone to see and laugh at! Hell! Even having more than one wife is illegal in Konoha!"

Shadow made no motion of hearing the angry mother as she started passing out drinks. "Yeah, yeah, polygamy is bad. You do realize that harems have at least three members of the same gender to be considered as such, right?" She handed the woman a decaf. "Plus, I'm pretty sure that there's something in your village's laws about being able to have multiple spouses if your clan is small enough or something…"

"The C.R.A.?" Shikaku asked incredulously. "That only applies to actual clans of Konoha, and it allows the specific clan heads that have been approved by the council to have as many as five wives if they choose to. I remember when the civilians were pushing to have it applied to Sasuke soon after the Uchiha incident…"

"Five wives…?" Tsume growled dangerously.

Shadow snorted as she sat down in a chair with a cup of tea. "Heh! Ghost with five wives? Oh, _man_. He would rather fight Zuzushi in an all-out battle than be nailed down with three. No way would that happen. Nah. Ghost only has his sights on Anko and Hana, and even then he's not doing anything to push his luck at the moment. We were going to ask at the next council meeting if it was okay to get something like that as a quick thanks for everything we did for the invasion."

"And the rest of your clan?" Shikaku asked curiously. "Do any of you have similar plans?"

Shadow's eyes flashed momentarily before taking another sip of tea. "Me? No, not yet. Since I'm a jinchūriki of sorts, there are certain… _complications_ regarding me having kids. I heard that the first container of the Kyūbi had similar problems. Plus, I'd make a shitty mom. Waltz, of course, is too old to have kids, and none of us are sick enough to pair him up with someone that's at most half his age. Crypt?" Shadow paused and everyone sweatdropped. "Well… yeah… Crypt. As for Scab, he's simply not interested at all in starting a family yet."

"Whoa, whoa." Tsume interrupted hesitantly. "Back up. The FIRST container of the Kyūbi? I thought that Naruto was the first container."

Shadow snorted. "Yeah, right. Tell me, if Hashirama Senju and Madara Uchiha were supposed to be on equal ground by themselves, how the hell do you think the First beat Madara when he was backed by the Kyūbi of all things?" The four listeners were gaping at what they were hearing, but could not say anything now that their curiosity was completely devoted to this woman. Shadow continued with a small grin. "Simple. Just like Madara got some backup, so did Hashirama, from his wife Mito Uzumaki."

Shikaku's eyes widened. "N-No way… you mean she turned herself…"

"Into a jinchūriki in order to save her husband, yes." Shadow answered.

"Uzumaki?" Tsume asked firmly.

Shadow nodded. "Yep. Turns out that the Uzumaki clan was a distant branch from the Senju clan. No bloodline, but they had some kind of special sealing technique that made them pretty well known. Also, their chakra was supposed to pack a punch."

"Sounds like Kushina…" Yoshino said sadly.

"What's the point of telling us this?" Shikaku asked firmly, trying to put all the pieces of what happened together in his head. He felt as if he was on the verge of something very big.

Shadow grinned as she lay back in her chair. "Ah, here's the thing that we found very interesting. We know for a fact that Naruto is not the Kyūbi's second jinchūriki, but the third…"

The listeners paled as the information was given to them registered in their minds. If the First's wife was a jinchūriki… that meant that the Kyūbi most likely never left the village… meaning that someone they knew had held the Kyūbi in them for most of their lives and they hadn't even known…

 _'Hold on…'_ Shikaku thought intensely. ' _Such information wouldn't have been kept from the Hokage… so Minato surely would have known who the container was… and I'm fairly certain that Mito-sama died when I was a child. I remember there was a large funeral and everything, so it was most likely someone around my age group or slightly younger that had it sealed in them in order to keep it locked up longer…'_ The man started to think about his academy days and his childhood. ' _Come to think of it, I'm pretty sure that's around when… !'_ "No… it couldn't be…" The man whispered to himself before looking at Shadow again, who was looking back at him with an entertained look.

"Hoh?" Shadow mused, not trying to hide her grin. "Looks like you have something on your mind, Nara-san."

Yoshino gulped nervously as she looked at her husband. She knew that look he had on his face, and it normally didn't lead anywhere good.

"Just tell me this, Shadow…" The genius said carefully without blinking. "… the second container, was it born in the Land of Fire?"

Shadow grinned more. "Nope."

"… I thought as much… troublesome…" Shikaku growled as he rapidly began to recreate the night the Kyūbi attacked in his head. Naruto's birth, Kushina moving into the village, the timing, it all matched up perfectly.

"Before you get ahead of yourself, Nara-san…" Shadow said in an almost cheerful tone. "I must let you in on one more piece of information…" Her eyes hardened. "There was an uninvited guest that came immediately after he was born… a strong one…"

Shikaku's eyes widened considerably as his mind ran frantically through the information he was just given. Kushina was pregnant with Minato's child. They knew that child birth was dangerous for female jinchūriki… so that meant that they were probably somewhere outside the village, just in case something went wrong. No one knew that Kushina was a jinchūriki. More than likely, several ANBU were present to help them through the incident… several high level seals were obviously there as well. There was an uninvited guest… which meant that the man knew what was happening… that the seal was weak… and probably killed the ANBU just before. Minato was there to take care of the seal… but everyone else probably died, and with the infant Naruto there… things got complicated. Minato probably saved Naruto… but was separated from Kushina which was when he… "My god…" He breathed out, sweating heavily. "What kind of monster is he?"

"H-honey?" Yoshino asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"

"Nara! Stop speaking in riddles and tell us what the hell you figured out already!" Tsume barked impatiently.

"You knew the entire time what had happened?" Shikaku asked Shadow, ignoring his wife's question and Tsume's orders.

Shadow shrugged. "Until recently, we only knew bits and pieces really… but a few days ago, we finally got the full story of what happened. It really is depressing if you think about how things turned out. To be honest, though, I'm pretty sure that even Sarutobi doesn't know the full story…"

"And the… uninvited guest?" The man continued not daring to break eye contact now.

"The highest flying red cloud…" Shadow replied cryptically as she sipped her tea without so much as batting an eyelash. Tsume's eyes flashed as she understood who Shadow was talking about. "Just to let you know… most of the information I told you guys are pretty high level stuff. You'd probably get into trouble if you started to tell everyone you'd meet… I'd ask the old man for permission first… though odds are he'll probably want to come to ask for some details himself…"

Shikaku remained silent as he tried to answer any questions about the past 13 years related to the incidents he had just learned of.

Tsume started to growl to herself as she realized that somehow, Akatsuki was responsible for more of her home's problems than she'd originally thought.

Yoshino was confused and somewhat scared. She didn't understand even half of what was being said, but she knew from the way her husband was acting that none of it was good. The last time she saw her husband like this was after some of his more pressing council meetings soon after the Ōgakari came… that's when he started to train more often in his spare time…

Kuromaru… was drinking from the bowl that Shadow had gotten for him.

Shadow blinked as she stared at Yoshino and began to sweat drop. "Erm… Yoshino? I think that's enough wrapping for my brother… he's starting to look like Danzō…"

Everyone paused and looked down at Ghost in Yoshino's hands, which had not stopped 'treating' the man since the beginning of the conversation. Ghost's top half was now completely covered in medical wraps, so much so that even his face was completely hidden, preventing him from breathing if the twitching in his body was anything to go by.

"AHH! Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" The woman shrieked as she frantically tried to shift the cloth over so he could use his lungs.

When his mouth was finally uncovered, the man gasped fresh air and collapsed onto the ground again. "Uuuuuugh. I feel like crap… is it Monday already?"

"No, Tsume just tried to finally kill you." Shadow answered casually.

"I'm not even going to respond to that." Labeled murderer-wannabe growled with an eyebrow twitching as she finished her drink.

"Oh… I was expecting her to last another 2 weeks before she finally snapped." Ghost stated without any hesitation before pausing. "… oh riiiight. She's still here… well, fuck me."

"How about I just put you out of your misery instead?" The woman growled as she walked towards the mummified man.

"That'll do. It would be really awkward trying to explain the other route to Hana and Anko… plus, I'm fairly certain they would never talk to me afterwards…" The man said just before the angry mother punted him out the door.

"When I'm done with you, I swear that thrashing you got from the demon cat and the lizard will seem enjoyable!" The woman roared as she chased after the screaming body.

"Hmmm…" Shadow hummed as she put on a thoughtful look. "I do believe my brother might actually be in mortal danger…"

"THIS IS WHY I HATE MONDAYS!" Ghost's wailing voice moaned from outside.

"What's with all the ruckus outside?" Grumbled a deep voice from the stairs. The rest of the inhabitants of the house turned to see Waltz yawning as he descended to their level. "Why can't anyone remember that there's an old man living in this damn house?"

"Because everyone else living here is more interesting than you." Shadow yawned as she slipped her hand into her sleeve and took it out again, holding a scroll. "Hey Shikaku, you said you came over because I taught Shikamaru a few tricks, right? Here." She tossed the man the scroll. "It has some of the basics and guidelines of what I taught the kid. If you need help, ask your kid for tips. Just to let you know, though, what you have in the scroll is all your clan is getting from me. Shika is somewhat of an apprentice of mine, so he can learn more. Don't try pressing him to learn more things, though. Some of the tricks I taught him are a bit risky on the user if they aren't properly conditioned or supervised by a master. Sticking to the scroll alone should be enough to get your clan to kiss my feet for a few years."

Yoshino frowned. "You know, I'm getting pretty sick of your attitude girl. Even if you taught my son a few tricks, that doesn't give you any right to…"

"Yoshino." Shikaku interrupted with a slightly stern voice as he continued to read the scroll he was given. "That's enough." He closed the scroll and tucked it away in a pocket before getting up and bowing to Shadow. "My clan is greatly indebted to you, Ōgakari-san. You have given us the means to further our clan's studies on our arts greatly. I will take what you said about Shikamaru's skills into consideration… but I will make no promises otherwise."

"In true ninja fashion." Shadow sighed, clearly not surprised. "Just make sure not to do anything that Ghost or Crypt would do, okay? I don't want to get blamed if a giant monster from another dimension appears at your compound and starts killing stuff."

Yoshino rolled her eyes, thinking what Shadow said was a joke. Shikaku… made a mental note to have an emergency communication line to the Ōgakari set up in the near future. Just in case.

"Shadow, what have we told you about teaching others the secrets of time and space?" Waltz lectured as if this wasn't the first time.

"Only tell those who are mentally stable enough to not attempt to take over the world or accidentally cause Armageddon." Shadow sighed as she rolled her eyes. "I swear, you get drunk at an after party and let something slip _one time,_ and no one ever trusts you with cool stuff at all…" She grumbled to herself.

Waltz sighed as he turned to the Nara's. "Don't ask. Trust me, you're better off not knowing." He paused before looking at Shikaku. "Is there any coffee left? God knows I need some right now."

o. o. o.

Outside:

"Why does this keep on happening to meeeee?" Ghost wailed as Tsume held him in a headlock.

"Because you never take anything seriously you immature brat!" The woman growled. "If you even acted half your age, I wouldn't be nearly as pissed about you seeing another woman along with my daughter!"

 _'If I acted half my age, I'd be dust, lady.'_ Ghost mentally grumbled. "Yeah right! If I acted mature, you would just kill me anyway, because then you'd actually think I'm taking advantage of her!"

Tsume frowned. "I'm not letting my daughter become part of some harem only to have her heart broken by some thoughtless freak!"

"Thoughtless freak, my ass! You must be dumber than the civilian council if you haven't seen the way I've been playing everyone like a pro every time I'm there!" The man countered with what air he had left. "I wasn't even trying to get a girlfriend in a first place, let alone two, and definitely not Hana and Anko at the same! It just freaking happened!"

"Yeah right!" The woman growled as she tightened her grip. "Like I'm that gullible! You not trying to get a quick fuck around the village? I've seen you looking at other women that pass you by, you sick pervert. There's no way a person like you could ever be loyal in a relationship…" Tsume was frustrated and angry beyond all known reason with the man. No matter what she did or said, Ghost never seemed to let anything affect him, and because of that, she never seemed to be able to get anything out of him or win an argument. Angrily, she began to go through what she knew about him until she remembered something that had come up in one of her conversations with Hana and Anko, and without thinking things through, did something that almost unleashed all hell on her being. "No wonder that last relationship of yours fell through."

Ghost stopped struggling as everything became unusually quiet. "… what did you say?" The man asked in almost a whisper.

"You heard me, brat." Tsume grinned, finally glad that she did something that'd gotten under the man's skin. "I know that your last relationship ended on a bad note. She probably dumped you 'because you cheated on her too many times, poor girl. She probably didn't know you were just an immature child…!"

Tsume couldn't finish her sentence, as she found herself flying through the air after she was hit in the face by something extremely strong. Before she could get her bearings again, something hit her again in midair, forcing her to back down toward the ground. Once again, another invisible blow launched the woman sideways into a nearby tree before she could hit the ground, bruising her side. All the woman could do was cough as she tried to register what the hell had happened to her, but even the option of breathing was taken away as a strong hand gripped her neck and pinned her to the tree. As her eyes cleared again, she found herself staring into the surprisingly emotionless face of Ghost.

"What… the?" She managed to gasp out feebly as she grabbed the surprisingly firm arm and looked around. The wrappings around the man's body were lying on the ground where she had once been holding him, and despite the fact that he was still wearing the slings for his dislocated arms, he was pinning her off the ground with no problem whatsoever.

"You… disappoint me, Tsume." The normally cheerful man said in a voice that held no emotion. "I had assumed that you were mature enough to not pick at old, tender wounds. Clearly, I was mistaken."

"Tsume!" Kuromaru growled as he ran up to the pair. "Put her down, now!"

Ghost merely turned his head in the dog's direction. "It's rude to interrupt a conversation, Kuromaru." The man said plainly, not so much as hinting that he was unleashing an unhealthy amount of killing intent at the dog as he did so. The Inuzuka hound froze where he was, not daring to take another step towards the monster that had been awakened.

"Now. Where were we?" Ghost mused as he turned his attention back to the woman. "Ah yes, private subjects. Tsume, is the reason why you don't want me with your daughter because you think I will run away, like your husband ran away from you?" The woman growled deeply in anger despite the danger her body was telling her she was in. "It hurts, doesn't it? To be left alone with two children, feeling old, used, and _useless_ as he runs away to be with what most likely is a more attractive woman; one that doesn't need nearly as much makeup to show how beautiful she is… or sounds like a man…"

"You don't know what you're talking about, you bastard…" The furious woman hissed in rage. "That's not what happened at all!"

"Really?" The man asked in an almost amused tone. "But you're reacting as if it were true. Maybe I'm close enough that what I say still hurts. Did he even love you when he left, or were Kiba and Hana his only motivation to stay?"

"I'll KILL YOU!" The woman roared as she pushed Ghost off of her with a sudden burst of adrenaline while instantly transforming into her beast state, ignoring all her senses telling her to run away from the man as she rushed forward to claw his face off. "TSŪGA!"

Ghost did nothing as the drill rapidly approached him. Suddenly, just as the front was about to pierce him, his leg almost instantly spun and kicked the side of the drill and stopped its rotation, revealing the appendage sinking deep into the stunned woman, leaving her gasping for air and launching her into another tree. "57 rotations per second… I was right. Hana is stronger than you. Her average rotation is already up to 82 rps… you have more power, but her control is better, though with this sort of technique you'd need over 150 to prevent me from countering like this…" He mused in an almost amused tone.

The man then continued to walk towards his victim, who was coughing heavily, until he stopped just a few feet in front of her. "It hurts… doesn't it? When someone brings up a painful memory without knowing what really happened, and twists it into something worse. One could say that only the lowest of the low would even think about trying something as pathetic as that… especially if it's only to satisfy your own ego." He turned around. "Normally, I'd kill anyone who would bring that subject up in front of me like that, but I don't feel like killing an incompetent fool right now. Try it again… well, I doubt you're stupid enough to do that." He began to walk away and paused just as he passed the woman's partner. "Kuromaru, I think it's time to teach your master how to not speak… that would be a pretty useful trick for her to know at the moment."

The one-eyed dog responded by giving the smallest of nods, still too scared to do much else at the moment.

"Ghost!" Waltz shouted as he rushed out of the house along with everyone else. "What happened?"

The man sighed as he continued to walk forward. "Nothing. I just had to remind Inuzuka-san that speaking without thinking first can have consequences." He passed the group. "I think I pulled something in my shoulders, so I'm going back to bed. I'll leave the time to checkup to you, old man. Later."

Shadow and Waltz in particular watched their family member until he went inside before they turned to Tsume again. Before the woman could get back up again, she was roughly picked up by her vest by Shadow and pinned to the ground. "What did you say to my brother?" The woman asked in a cold tone.

The Inuzuka coughed before staring back into the cold eyes of the apparently younger girl. "I was fed up with the way that pup acted. He never takes anything seriously. I'm not going to trust my eldest to a man who looked like he would cheat on her at any minute. My daughter knew that something went wrong with his last girlfriend, so I brought it up…" Shadow's eyes flashed and Waltz's grip on his walking stick tightened so suddenly that distinct cracks were heard from the wood. "… I said that she probably left him because he was sleeping with other women…"

BOOM! Shadow's fist embedded itself in the ground next to Tsume's head, causing a massive series of cracks to appear beneath all of them. " **If brother didn't let you off the hook with that statement… I would have killed you myself, bitch.** " Shadow said in a dead, possessed voice laced with malice. **"Feel lucky that our clan has a rule that says to keep our hands off of anyone that's been let go by another member of the clan when regarding specific events… to say that brother of all people was unfaithful…"**

"Shadow. That's enough." Spoke Waltz as he slowly walked up to the pair. "Let her go. She's learned her lesson… if not, I fear that the Inuzuka clan will be looking for a new head in the near future."

"Was that a threat, Waltz?" Shikaku asked hesitantly as he followed the old man to where the chaos was happening.

The old man shook his head. "No. I am simply saying that if Inuzuka-san does not regain control of her loose tongue soon, it may get her into an uncomfortable position with the council or on a mission… though depending on the subject, it may result in one of our clan members acting… rash…" The man stared at the heavily breathing woman with stony eyes. "An insult to one member of the clan is treated as an insult to all of us. We are quite forgiving and extremely patient, but there are some things that even we have a hard time swallowing with a smile on our faces. It would be best if you did not visit our clan compound for a while, Inuzuka-san. Your presence… is not appreciated here for the time being. Should you wish to contact us, please send a messenger of your choice. We are not foolish enough to place blame on those who were uninvolved. Otherwise… it would be best if we kept our conversations to a minimum…" The distinct sound of grinding wood was heard from the trees all around them. To those who weren't aware of what was happening, the sounds were beyond ominous. "To be frank, after hearing of her actions, I find myself having trouble holding back as well. Kuromaru-san, if you would please…?"

The wolf shakily nodded in response before he slowly walked up to his partner and maneuvered himself so that the woman climbed onto his back. "… am I to assume that our clans will still have future meetings later on?" He asked skeptically.

The old man nodded. "Yes, but once again, Tsume's presence… would not be desirable at the moment. Unless absolutely necessary, it would be best if she sent someone in her place for such meetings." He paused. "I hope I don't have to tell you that going into detail with anyone about what just happened here would be inadvisable…"

Kuromaru grunted while trying to control his shaking. "If it means I won't be on the wrong side of you guys ever again, then consider it done. Your chakra isn't human…"

Shadow looked at the wolf and gave it a small humorless smirk. "Tell us something we don't know."

The one-eyed wolf slowly nodded before turning and running to his clan compound, leaving the remaining people there. Shikaku looked at the Ōgakari through the corner of his eyes. Even if he wasn't a genius, the man would have easily been able to tell that there was an extremely long and troublesome story behind Ghost and whoever his last girlfriend was… though if what Shikamaru had told him about the clan was correct, then she was more than likely much more than a girlfriend to the man and a friend to the rest of the family… which meant that he was not going anywhere near this problem if he could help it.

"Yes… it would be best if you didn't ask…" Waltz mused out loud, causing the man to stumble momentarily. "… It's not hard to guess what you would think in this sort of situation, Nara-san…" The old man chuckled lightly. "You are a lot like your son, after all."

"I'll take that as a compliment, against my better judgment…" The man sighed as he looked at where Kuromaru disappeared. "… Will he be all right?"

Waltz sighed as he rubbed his temple. "Normally… no one is stupid enough to say something like that in front of Ghost's face and expect not to get a good view of the afterlife… if he even felt generous enough to let them get that far." Shikaku raised an eyebrow, curious what the old man meant by that statement. "The fact that Tsume got off with only a few broken ribs is a miracle in itself…" The ground under them started to rumble a small amount before calming down again. "… then again, we do have that room downstairs that is purposely built for venting stress… though I don't know if Crypt put in all the seals just yet… I hope they hold… anyways, I'd guess that he'd be in a bit of a mood for a few days… maybe less, if Anko and Hana get to him early enough."

"Those two really have that much influence over him?" The Nara asked skeptically.

"Depends." The old man mused as he saw Shadow calling Zuzushi from the woods and said dragon landing on her arm curiously, knowing something was off. "Do you have that much influence over your wife?"

The younger of the two men snorted as he walked to his better half. "You know, some days I ask myself that same question."

Unfortunately for Shikaku, it was at that point in time that Yoshino's ears decided to become extra sensitive.

o. o. o.

In a clearing near Konoha:

Naruto looked up at the sky. "That felt like… nah. Being around Ero-Sennin must be screwing with my head again." The boy continued to stretch, showing how limber his body had become. "Ah well, back to the morning warmup." He grinned before hopping lightly off of his feet and landing on his hands, spinning expertly. Moments later he was leaning drastically to one side before he jumped with his arms to perform an impressive aerial, but before he even reached the apex of his jump, his body shot towards the ground at an angle with no warning at all and he skidded backwards on all fours. Once again the boy dashed in a circular motion before he even came close to stopping and sprinted as fast as he could while making dodging motions. This series of seemingly random evasive maneuvers continued on for a half an hour while Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Shizune watched, all impressed.

"Not bad…" Tsunade whistled as the boy repeatedly dashed using a zigzag pattern. "The brat came across some interesting tricks. His movements are a lot cleaner and sharper too, even if there isn't any real pattern to them…"

Jiraiya chuckled. "Yeah. That twisted bastard Ghost focused him on improvising his fighting style while using the Frog-Fu kata as a base and mixing in a bunch of guerrilla hit and run tactics. Get in, fight a little, get out, prepare the next trick, mix things up a little, and throw in a little jutsu to keep things going, then repeat, but preferably not in that order."

"The way he suddenly changes direction like that is almost unreal…" Shizune mused as she saw the blonde suddenly shoot towards the ground again. "Something simple like that could easily win fights for him…"

The Sannin snorted. "Heh. He can do more than that, Shizune. The brat is an honest to goodness sensor now, even out of Sage Mode. Hell, to be perfectly truthful, the kid has me beat in that department, too."

"You're kidding." Tsunade said in a disbelieving tone.

"Nope." The man shook his head. "Even after my extra training, I still can't balance nature chakra perfectly like the brat can… let alone do it while moving, which was supposed to be impossible, by the way." He sniggered. "You should have seen how the elders reacted when they saw that for the first time. I never thought I'd ever see anything that would cause Ma to clam up."

"He looks more mature, too." Shizune commented. "… Although that might just be because he's wearing less orange."

"He does." Tsunade grinned. "It makes me think of how long it's been since we first saw him… and how much of his life we've missed." She looked at Jiraiya. "He still doesn't know, does he?"

Jiraiya looked down in regret. "That I'm his godfather? … No… and I don't plan on telling him." He took a deep breath. "Not only is that my punishment for not being there for the kid when I should have… but to be honest, I don't feel like I deserve the title in the first place. Even Minato was disappointed in me when I talked to him about it… can't say I blame him…"

"You talked to Y-Yondaime-sama?" Shizune asked skeptically. "I knew these guys were talented, but to even allow you to talk to the dead…"

Jiraiya blinked and looked at Shizune for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Hahaha! Talk to the dead… whoo. Ah. I needed that." The man shook his head. "Nah. Nothing like that happened. It turns out that Minato stuck a bit of his chakra into Naruto's seal as a failsafe, just in case. The bastards just gave it a bit of juice and tweaked it a bit so he'd be around more, or in a worst case scenario, allow them to stick his soul into a modified puppet. Of course, he can't walk around in broad daylight, so when he does get out, he's dressed like an ANBU with a black broken fox mask." The man stretched his limbs out. "Apparently, the mask is similar to one that Ghost uses, if the brat's screaming and panic attack was anything to go by…"

"Hold on." Tsunade said skeptically. "You mean to tell me that Minato is, for lack of a better term, 'living' inside Naruto right now?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Pretty much. Other than the fact that the brat gets an occasional headache from his arguments with Kyūbi, there really isn't much indication otherwise. Minato's time outside is pretty limited, and I'm pretty sure I'm not on his good side at the moment…"

"Give them time." Tsunade sighed as she patted the depressed man on the back. "I'm sure you'll be forgiven… eventually…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" The man pouted.

Tsunade shrugged. "Well, there are still some things I haven't forgiven you for yet, so it's only reasonable that there are things that other people haven't forgiven you for, too. For example, the world's female population will probably never forgive you for writing those blasted books of yours…"

"Hey! I'll have you know that I put in twice as much, if not more effort into my books than I did last time, and it shows, damn it! My latest copy is being nominated for several literary awards, some of which aren't even related to the erotic arts! I consider that an achievement, damn it!" The man countered proudly.

"You do realize that you wouldn't have gotten that far unless Ero-nii beat the living shit out of you, right?" Naruto asked from the other side of the field. "Don't try to deny it! Pa told me about the thrashing he gave you! You couldn't even get a hit on him in Sage Mode!"

Tsunade and Shizune chuckled as Jiraiya grew a tick mark. "You make it sound easy, brat! I'd like to see you try to fight him when the bastard is pissed!"

"The hell I will, you pathetic pervert!" Naruto yelled back. "You're the A _ll-Mighty Toad Sage_. It's pathetic to challenge a kid to fight someone you don't stand a chance against! I know more about him than anyone else here, and let me tell you, there is NO way I am going to try and fight him when he's serious!"

"Well, that's new." Tsunade mused. "Normally you're all up and ready to fight and beat up anyone or anything that jumps in front of your face. Is that goofball really so scary?"

"Granny, I would rather fight against 5 Kyūbi at once rather than actually piss off Ero-nii." The boy said in an almost calm tone as he walked back to the group to get his shirts. "I once saw this book they had that listed the nicknames they had all been called during their travels. Ero-nii's list had names like 'Sky Breaker', 'Untouchable', 'The Fallen Herald', 'The Lord of False Hope' and stuff like that... but on the end of his section, I saw two more names apart from the rest. 'The Cursed Memory', which he's told me about before, and…" He paused, looking nervous. "Well, let's just say that the other one is intimidating as all hell. I don't know about you, but I want to stay on the good side of anyone who's known as THAT." He shivered. "Scab-sensei saw me looking at the booklet when I was almost done with it and told me that if I valued my life, I should NEVER, under ANY circumstances call Ero-nii by that name. Apparently, the only people who call him that are ones that are after his title… and are supposed to be strong, even by their standards." He shivered.

Tsunade snorted as she took another sip of her morning coffee. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Don't piss them off." The woman stretched, unintentionally giving everyone there a better view of her assets. "For now, let's actually get back to business. What's Konoha going to be like when I get back? I wanna make sure I'm on top of things from the get go when I get the hat again."

Jiraiya sighed as he lay back on the ground. "Well, from what I saw, you're going to have a lot less initial work to do compared to the first time. The damage and death count from the invasion is a fraction what it was last time, plus Sensei is still alive and taking care of most of those things while we're gone. Of course, the minus side is that some of the more annoying civilian council members that died last time are still alive as well, but for the most part it's superficial."

The woman nodded. "What about Danzō? I highly doubt that he's been doing nothing the entire time this has been happening…"

Jiraiya snorted. "Actually, that's exactly what happened. According to his messenger, the traitor has been 'under the weather' lately, and is unable to come to the council meetings for a while…" The man turned to the grinning Naruto. "You wouldn't know anything about this turn of events, would you?"

The boy shrugged. "Only that it has something to do with an uncontrollable and unstoppable force of clucking nature… according to Scab-sensei."

The four shinobi there paused as they swore they could have heard a chicken clucking in the distance.

"Was I the only one that heard that?" Shizune asked worriedly as she looked around.

"Just pretend it's not there and we should be all right… though praying is said to help your chances a little…" Naruto said with traumatized eyes and a terrified voice.

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Ugh. And here I thought you had matured a little." She scratched the back of her head. "Moving on. Who should I expect to get promotions when I get back?"

"Naruto, Sakura, and Shikamaru are definite choices." Jiraiya answered, getting a grin from Naruto. "If they don't get the vest, you should kill several of the judges. Next up is Hinata Hyūga, Sasuke Uchiha, Chōji Akimichi, Tenten Higurashi, Shino Aburame, and Gaara of the Desert. All of them put up great fights and used their heads frequently, so their odds of getting a promotion are also very high. Other than them, the rest of the genin have a 50/50 shot at most. Most of them fought extremely well, but… some were more on the ball than others."

Tsunade nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. Anything else in the village I should be aware of? New laws? Changes in the clans? Gai finally deciding to not clothe himself in spandex anymore? … Or that wearing spandex only as shinobi garb is banned? Either one of those would work, really… just say that at least one of them happened. Please?"

Naruto laughed. "Hah. Sorry, Baa-chan. That didn't happen yet." ' _Even if the old man has tried to pass it for the past 6 months after Ero-nii pulled that prank on him involving the pink spandex suit he ordered from where bushy brows' sensei gets his suits…'_ "But this might come as a close second. Ero-nii's family managed to get the Hyūga clan back together into one family."

The female Sannin and her assistant gaped disbelievingly. "No. Way." Shizune said. "We tried that last time… but nothing worked… Hiashi kept on coming back saying that the Hyūga council declined every offer we made."

Naruto shrugged as he put on his clothes. "Crypt-sensei is a seal master, so he made them a bloodline protection seal that was a million times better than the one they had. With a little help from Hinata-chan, her dad, and Neji, they managed to stick the new seal on to all the Hyūga in one night and get rid of all the Caged Bird Seals and clan elders that were going behind Hiashi's back. You'd be surprised how much easier it is to deal with them, from what Gramps has been saying."

"It's true." Jiraiya confirmed. "That seal the crazy one made is brilliant. In addition to the Hyūga being more manageable, the other main clans have been increasing their product output, and the village's overall economy is a lot better than it used to be. We're even trying a new training program that we tested out on the brat's group here, and so far the results are great. We're expecting to have at least twice as many candidates for the next Chūnin Exams as we did last time."

"W-wow…" The future Fifth said in shock before turning to Naruto. "… what about the brat? How strong is he right now?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Without using the Kyūbi or Sage Mode, I'd say he's about on the level with the average jōnin right now. He has more moves and tricks than about half the village's population, and no doubt he could kill one of us if we weren't careful, but the natural limits from his body's current condition are holding him back. Give him a few years to hit his growth spurt, and he'll probably be on par with us, if not more." Naruto beamed at the compliments he was being given. "… Though to be honest, the brat is still a bit thick and needs some social work and patience if he ever plans on being the leader of the village." He gave the boy a perverted look. "That is where your adorable Hinata-chan comes in, right?"

Naruto's eyes glowed. "Ero-Sennin, if you even try to do something perversion-related to Hinata-chan, I swear I will do things to you that will make even the women of the world pity your fate…"

The perverted author sweated heavily and backed up slowly. "Heheheh… duly noted…"

"Oh?" Tsunade grinned as she rubbed the boy's head. "So you're finally going out with the Hyūga girl eh? 'Bout time, brat. If you didn't find out by NOW, I would have started to think that you were gay… if you weren't so obsessed about Sakura…"

"She nearly died for me, Baa-baa." Naruto deadpanned before pointing at Jiraiya. "She was willing to die for me, but because I was a stubborn ass, I didn't even notice it until it was almost too late. Sound familiar?"

The elder blonde sobered up as she looked guiltily at Jiraiya. "… Low blow, brat…"

Jiraiya sighed. "Relax, kid. When Tsunade and I got back together we had a long talk and everything is now water under the bridge with us… so stop making a big deal about it already."

"Jiraiya…" Tsunade said softly with a small smile on her face.

Naruto sighed and rubbed his temples. "… If you say so, Ero-Sennin…"

"A nice… looooong… talk…" Jiraiya repeated as he stared off into space, his face already transforming into the famous perverted grin that they all knew quite well.

Naruto turned green as he turned to Tsunade. "… oh dear god. Please tell me you didn't…"

"…Nice… loooooong…" Jiraiya repeated again, clearly in his own world at the moment.

"Jiraiiiiyaaaaaa…" Tsunade growled while blushing as her fist made cracking noises and Naruto started to dry heave nearby.

Shizune merely chuckled nervously/wept as the chaos developed in front of her. "Heheh. It's like nothing ever changed… nothing at all…"

"Pui…" Tonton wept in agreement.

o. o. o.

In the Land of Rice Paddies:

"So tell me, Neji, what did you find out about the current Daimyō of this country?" Scabbard asked the Hyūga as the pair walked back to their apartment from their meeting with the ruler of the small country.

Neji looked at the man briefly before focusing on the road again. "He is a very indecisive person. When he answered your questions about the state of his country, he was frequently second- and third-guessing himself, no doubt thinking of the best way to cover himself. I highly doubt that he even knew what was going on here to begin with. The government here is extremely corrupt and unstable. The man is a figurehead that can only make some small decisions. It is probably why Orochimaru had such an easy time establishing himself here…" He glanced to his side, where a couple of rough looking men were eyeing the group hungrily.

"Calm down, brat." Zabuza grunted. "Even though you guys are shinobi, you're still just kids and don't have much of an intimidation factor, especially spandex lad." Lee grunted in protest. "With me here, however, the odds of any small fry trying anything on us are slim to none. They may be desperate, but even they aren't dumb enough to try anything against a guy with a sword like this one here." He tapped on his decapitating carving knife. "The only ones we have to worry about are the ones that actually have skill…"

"True…" Scabbard agreed as he walked just as bored as he always did. "However, soon word of recent events will come here… and no doubt there will be a repeat of what happened earlier this week… only on a larger scale, due to the country we are in. When the cats and snakes are gone, the rats come out to play…" He took out several scrolls. "… Which was why we came here quickly to spread word of some exterminators before the infestation gets out of hand."

"You think those guys from Kumo got back home all right?" Tenten asked curiously while still keeping her eyes peeled. Despite being in the capital of the country, the populace was still rather poor and shady looking. The night that Scabbard and Yugito decided to have a 'walk' through the assaulted village, the two teams had managed to take down at least 80 enemy raiders, at least 6 shinobi-trained, though not nearly as well as the ones defending the village. The only reward Scabbard asked was for free room for the night and a free breakfast. He had also had a quick word with several bartenders in the village and the mayor, but nothing else was exchanged. The two groups had separated before lunch that day. "I mean, if word got over to one of the countries they were crossing while they were there…"

"I have little doubt that they would have any problems getting back home, Tenten." Scabbard answered in an unconcerned tone. "Yugito-san is a very reputable Kumo shinobi with exceptional skill compared to the standard ninja, and the chūnin travelling with her are students of the brother of the current Raikage. The odds of them encountering an enemy that they cannot handle on their way back home are negligible."

"Yeah…" Zabuza grunted. "I've heard of her during my time as a Kiri ANBU. Never said what the deal was with her, but there was always a big warning stamp next to that woman's face… though I never spent any real time in Kumo myself, to be honest…"

"… I believe it is time we left this place. One night is probably more than any of us are comfortable with." Scabbard stated as his eyes were closed just as they approached the run down hotel.

"I assume we are going to the next Daimyō, then?" Neji asked curiously.

Scabbard shook his head. "… No. There is something I would like to check up on before that…"

Zabuza grinned eagerly. "I knew you had something else in mind when you took us on this mission to the middle of nowhere. You bastards never do anything without having some alternative side plan in sight… or unless you just want to screw someone over." He raised his arm to grip on his sword out of reflex. "So how nasty is it gonna be?"

Lee's eyes widened. "Scabbard-sensei. Is this true? Do we have an additional secret mission?"

The short man reached his door and opened it without a care in the world. "Your mission will not change. You are still tasked with protecting me… however, depending on what might happen, we may very well be undertaking an S-ranked task." The genin paled dramatically. S-ranks were only assigned to missions that had an unnaturally high fatality rate or dealt with extraordinarily sensitive information. "The odds of that happening are very small, but should it turn out that way, I want you to follow my instructions to the letter." He opened the door to his room. "… also, should you ever encounter anyone wearing a black coat with red clouds, do not under any circumstances fight them, talk to them, or even get close to them…"

"Shit…" Zabuza growled as his hand tightened on his sword, causing the genin to turn their attention onto him as the man walked into his room. "You brats better make sure you have all your stuff in the right place… 'cause odds are, you're about to get chucked down the rabbit hole headfirst without a helmet damn soon…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Sarutobi sighed as he looked at the paper in his hand. For years, he had been wondering what had happened during the night of Naruto's birth. Had the seal failed? Was Minato's presence not enough? What about the odd ways his ANBU and his wife had died? So many questions… however, they were all soon shoved to the side as he once again donned the mantle of the Hokage and attempted to restore the village to its former glory after the attack. Trades with other nations, keeping Danzō away from Naruto… it had all accumulated until the man had all but forgotten his questions about that night.

"At least now… I know what happened in your final moments…" The old man sighed as he looked at a picture of his departed wife, right after Asuma was born.

His thoughts, however, were soon interrupted as someone knocked on his door. "Hokage-sama. Sasuke Uchiha is here to speak with you. He says it's urgent."

The old man groaned as he put the papers away. He wanted more time to analyze the information he had just been given, but he was a leader first and a grieving old man second… for now, at least. "Fine. Let him in." The doors opened to reveal a tired Sasuke Uchiha with an arm in a cast. "You know, Sasuke-kun, I would normally punish shinobi quite harshly for running out of the village like you did while we are in a state of martial law. It isn't unnatural to think that you were a spy from the way that you acted then." He paused as he let his words sink into the boy before continuing. "… However… I believe your current state is enough to prove my point. Should you do such an irresponsible thing again, however…"

"I'd be sure to say that the dobe has been rubbing off of me." The Uchiha said with a brief smirk before becoming solemn again.

Sarutobi paused before chuckling. "Heheh. Well, I can't say that I would blame you if that was the case. Now Sasuke, I'm sure that you have had a trying experience in the past few days. Why do you want to visit me?"

Sasuke's eyes hardened, and Sarutobi started to get a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Itachi… said some things when I saw him." The boy said slowly. "… Things that you would know about and answer for me…"

"I… see…" The Hokage sighed as he made a motion for his ANBU to exit the room. Soon afterwards, he made the necessary seals to make the room private before leaning back in his chair and taking out his pipe. "I… we… had wished that you would not have to come across this information at any point in your lifetime, Sasuke… let alone so early in your childhood." The old man sighed as he packed the tobacco. "I assume this is about that night… correct?"

The boy nodded. "I know someone else was involved, someone with a Sharingan. Itachi said as much, that night." His hands began to shake. "Tell me… tell me what really happened to my family." For the first time in years, tears fell down the boy's face. "I'm tired of seeing their faces when I fall asleep! What really happened to my family?!"

Sarutobi said nothing as he slowly puffed on his pipe and took in a deep breath. "Sasuke…" The old man began. "The story of your family… and what led to their demise is a long one, with many holes that even I have yet to fill completely yet. Its beginnings originate even before my time, and the wheels of their final destruction started to rotate the year you were born. In fact…" He lifted the papers that he had been reading just minutes before. "I have only today received some information that has solved a large piece of the puzzle for me. If I tell you what happened… you must let me continue on until I finish. Do I make myself clear?"

Sasuke stared at the old man carefully as he thought everything through. "… Yes."

The old man sighed as he leaned back in his chair again. "I believe it would be best to start things off when the Kyūbi attacked…" Sasuke's eyes widened. "The damage done to the village was tremendous, and the loss of the Fourth was shouted across the entire shinobi world. You, of course, know that Naruto was made into a jinchūriki, but what you don't know was that until that day, the Kyūbi was sealed in another person." He paused, trying not to notice the boy's shocked reaction. "Due to certain… conditions at the time, the seal on this jinchūriki was weakening, so precautions were being made." The leader had promised to tell the boy everything relating to his family's demise, but that didn't mean he had to explain everything about the Kyūbi or Naruto's heritage, especially if he hadn't told Naruto about it first. The man's eyes darkened as he looked at the paper again. "It was at this time when our mystery assailant struck."

Sasuke's eyes widened more. "You mean the one who released the Kyūbi from the jinchūriki was…"

"The same one who supposedly aided your brother in killing your clan, yes. Like I said, I only recently was made aware of this information, so I did not act in the most efficient way possible at the time. However, what you must realize is that since the man has the Sharingan, as you and many of my sources have informed me, he had been able to at the very least influence the Kyūbi's actions that night." The man let out a puff of smoke. "After the Kyūbi's attack, the villagers were frantic. I did all I could to control the damage, but they still needed someone to blame. Naruto… unfortunately, was the main target… however, he was not the only one to suffer from the social backlash."

"My family too?" Sasuke asked confusedly. "Why? They were loyal to Konoha!"

"And yet, they were still angry enough to occasionally take their frustrations out on a small child." Sarutobi interrupted. "Like I said, people can become irrational when events of the Kyūbi's magnitude occur. Rumors spread… one of which was that only an Uchiha could control the Kyūbi… and since everyone knew that Madara used the Kyūbi in his fight against the First, the rumor held ground longer than most." Sasuke paled as he began to connect the dots in his mind. The boy KNEW that that fact was true, but he had assumed that it was an extremely well-kept clan secret. "I myself never believed such rubbish." The old man continued. "I have worked alongside many of your relatives in the past, and absolutely none of them would have ever considered such a monstrous thing."

"However… others were swayed by it, and soon, it did have an effect on your family." The man looked over the village through his window. "It started with arguments with your father about how to deal with the occasional villager's disrespect, ownerships over small plots of land, promotions. Small, normal things. Other than the frequency at which these arguments occurred, it was no different than talking to any other clan head in the village. However… as time passed, they began to grow more frequent and heated. I tried to calm down your clan to the best of my abilities, but it seemed like someone was stoking the flames when I wasn't looking."

He looked at the papers again. "…Now that I think about it, your father was always known for being cool-headed and calm, if not a bit egotistical every now and then. It would not surprise me if our friend here was occasionally agitating him via a subtle genjutsu or slipping into clan meetings and preventing any progress from being made." He shook his head. "… regardless, relationships between your clan and the rest of the village declined…"

"… and then came Itachi."

Sasuke sucked in his breath sharply without noticing. "Itachi knew what was happening?"

The old man sadly shook his head. "He was more than some piece on the side, Sasuke. He was one of the key players in this whole debacle. You see, the only ones other than myself who were aware of how grievous the situation were my advisors, Homura and Koharu… and eventually, to my displeasure, Danzō." The man grimaced. "We often discussed ways to manage and solve the issue. For the first few years, and yes, this had begun quite early in your life, we had attempted negotiations. However, as I said, every time it seemed as if we made headway, your father seemed to become noticeably worse within the next few weeks or months." He looked down, defeated. "Near the end, however, Danzō brought up the idea of killing your clan…"

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Wh-what?" He said in a quiet voice.

"I myself had the same reaction." The man agreed. "… however, as time passed, your family began to show more and more signs of… distrust, until we received word of the unthinkable. I myself still have trouble believing that it would happen." He took a deep breath. "… your family was going to stage a coup against the village in an attempt to gain power."

Sasuke stared at the old man in disbelief. "N-no… there's no way… you're LYING!" The boy started to panic frantically as the old man silently reached into a hidden compartment of his desk and looked for the correct papers.

"Sasuke…" The old man said firmly. "The one who told me this was your brother."

The boy's voice was caught in his throat as he looked at the old man in shock before he was given a small stack of papers.

"When Itachi was first inducted into ANBU, your father planned on using him as a spy in order to gain more information on my personal forces' inner workings." The Hokage explained. "However, he did not expect for his son to willingly become a double agent. For your information, until then I had no idea that your family was thinking so radically at the time, and Itachi himself volunteered to be our mole in your family without being asked. I, nor Danzō, nor the elders, nor any other shinobi in Konoha, had anything to do with that. Your brother… your brother simply loved the village more than your clan's ambitions."

Sasuke didn't say anything as he slowly looked down and read the handwritten papers, all in his brother's handwriting. Many of them were describing meetings that his father had apparently held secretly regarding the village's mistreatment of their clan and how they had been wronged in some way, but there were also discussions about security protocols, individual shinobi and their strengths and weaknesses. Kakashi's name came up more than once, for obvious reasons. There were also damage estimations near the bottom of the pile, listing the worst and best case scenario death tolls should the coup happen. Both numbers were nauseating when compared to the number of people living in the village at the time. The boy, however, noticed that every once in a while, there would be mention of someone being at the meeting that technically should not have been there or that everyone ignored, possibly due to a genjutsu, adding one or two things to the conversation before disappearing again.

"Your brother…" The old man continued. "Was in fact the one who told me about the coup in the first place, before I had even come up with the idea of using him as a spy. Even then, I was not keen on using him. Itachi was only your age at the time, Sasuke. To put him in such a position, to ask him to betray his own family, which I myself had known for almost my entire life, was almost too much for me to even think of… however, I was tasked not to protect your family, but the entire village. As such, I had to make the difficult choice of ordering your brother to become a double agent." He sighed. "He did so without complaint or issue. I'd like to think that he, too, knew how many lives were at risk with the current situation and put away his feelings for the greater good… but I never knew."

Sasuke put down the papers in his lap and looked at the old man coldly. "… did you order Itachi to kill my family?" He asked bluntly.

Sarutobi looked down guiltily. "Yes… and no."

The boy grit his teeth in frustration. "Explain. Now."

Hiruzen looked at the pictures of the past Hokage on the wall over the door and grunted. "It was… according to your brother… two weeks before your family would carry out their plan. I had attempted just about every negotiation tactic there was possible with your father in order to calm him down, but it seemed as if his dissatisfaction with your clan's position in the village had reached untamable levels. The stress had been getting to Itachi as well… I'm sure you recall your brother acting in a peculiar manner before the incident." Sasuke nodded. "It was then that the incident with your relative Shisui occurred. Itachi never went into detail about what had happened, but I know for a fact that he was involved somehow. It was that event that undoubtedly unlocked the next level of his dōjutsu…" The man sighed. "The event caused both groups to be unsettled. Itachi was under suspicion, and we didn't know when your family would act, with the added pressure of knowing something was off. It was at this time that I… finally resigned myself to Danzō's suggestion to take out your family… however, I ordered it to be done my way. Children, those unaware of the plan, and those who were against it were to be spared the bloodshed. Itachi was recommended and told of the plan before I could finally decide who to use. While he technically was the best choice for the job, I myself wanted nothing more than to get the boy out of the situation he was in. Before I could do anything about that, however, Itachi had agreed to take on the mission…"

"That's not what happened…" Sasuke countered, with his hands balled up into tight fists. "Everyone was killed!"

"I know." The old man frowned. "However, don't think that I had anything to do with that. By the time we had found out that your entire family was killed, you were in the hospital for mental trauma. When Itachi came back, I nearly killed him myself until he explained what happened. He initially was aided by this mystery man, who we now know is the one behind all of our problems, under the conditions of some sort of deal that they had between them. The man apparently betrayed Itachi and slew the members of your family that Itachi had spared while he was preoccupied on the other side of your compound. By the time you had arrived, the man had disappeared leaving, Itachi to take the blame." He looked at the papers he had. "Given what I have just learned about him, it is not difficult to imagine that he could escape from your brother, given the jutsu that he possesses. The man had even given the Fourth a difficult time during the Kyūbi's attack."

Sasuke said nothing as he remained still, trying to process what he had been told. "Why… why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "You were young, and had just gone through a traumatizing experience, Sasuke. To be blunt, you still are too young to hear this. The only reason why I am telling you in the first place is because Itachi felt that you were ready to know, and events have prompted him to change his original plans. Telling you a different story at the time would have been too much for you, and Itachi wanted you to redeem the clan's name, not associate yourself with a group of possible traitors. He… he wanted you to kill him, Sasuke-kun." The boy looked at the man incredulously. "It was the reason why he tortured you that night. He wanted you to be strong enough to kill him… but I can see now that it wasn't only to bring honor to your family name again… but to prepare you for this man." He pointed to the papers. "This man who had destroyed not only yours, but Naruto-kun's family as well. The man who threatens peace for all the shinobi nations…" He looked down at the papers again and his face softened dramatically. "The man who murdered my wife…"

Sasuke snapped out of his anger at this latest announcement and looked at the aged man skeptically. He knew that as one of the greatest shinobi that ever lived, the old man could have faked his emotions, but the look of helplessness the leader was exhibiting right now was too real to just brush aside. "… You too, huh?" The boy said knowingly as Hiruzen pulled himself together again with a sniff.

"Yes." He confirmed. "I, too, have lost a loved one to this monster… but unlike you or Naruto, I am too old and past my prime to be able to go out and even think about getting revenge on him. Learn from this, Sasuke. Sometimes, it is best to leave your desire for revenge and let go. Do not obsess over these thoughts, or else it will end you. I still want this bastard taken care of, but I can see that it is mainly because he will cause many problems and much pain in the future… and I don't want anyone else to suffer like I did…"

The Uchiha closed his eyes and reflected on what he had been told so far. ' _Emotions are a powerful guide, Sasuke, but that is all they are: a guide. Just like humans, they can be wrong at times…'_ Waltz's words echoed through his mind. "What… happened afterwards?" He asked.

The old man stretched in his chair and grunted. "Itachi came back that night and told me that there had been… complications with his help, and as a result, you were the only survivor. He explained his logic about torturing you to convince you to kill him, much to my distaste, before begging me to protect you with everything I had from the other councilors. Especially Danzō, who has his own secret ANBU program here in Konoha that he thinks I am not aware of. Of course, Itachi had my support, but to ensure your safety, he threatened Danzō that should anything happen to you, he would release confidential information about Konoha to its enemies. Not even an hour after it was all finalized, your brother left the village, and I had yet to see or hear anything about him until he returned last week."

Sasuke remained quiet for a long amount of time, only occasionally looking at the papers he was given or at the aged man. Just before the Hokage was about to ask the boy to leave his office so he could get some work done, however, he spoke up again, raising his head to show his Sharingan. "This bastard that screwed up our lives… tell me everything you know about him…"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"That is all we have to report on our time in the Land of Fire, Raikage-sama." Yugito said as she finished her report to her village leader.

"Hmm…" A Killer mused as he stroked his facial hair. "I would have preferred it if you had kept yourself out of harm's way on the return trip, but I probably would have been more displeased if you had ran away from a bunch of weak bandits, so there's no harm done there." He looked at Karui curiously. "You said that you received a sword from that new clan's blacksmith because he hoped to expand his market. Can I see it?"

Karui nodded before taking out her sword. "Here it is, Raikage-sama. To be honest, I was very surprised at its quality, and the man only needed a brief look at me and my old sword to determine what kind of style I used and my personality, as well as which blade to give me…"

"I've heard of smiths like that…" The Raikage mused as he analyzed the sword at various angles. "It is said that once in a long while, you hear of a blacksmith that can tell what your life was like from looking at your blade. They are supposedly capable of making the finest weapons around the world, swords that are eventually sung of in legends and have long histories of their own… I myself have never really believed such a thing, but in a world like ours, it's easy to be wrong." He paused as he looked at the group. "You said that the man who made this was young? How does the sword feel in your hand?"

Yugito nodded. "He appeared to be my age, if not a few years younger, and despite the fact that his frame was rather slim, he had managed to produce a large amount of quality blades for the store he was supplying. Well over a hundred, if my eyes were correct."

"As for my handling of the sword… I gotta say that the guy knew what he was doing. The size and design of the blade were perfect for my current style, even though I was using a slightly different type of blade before. He even made sure that it would be the appropriate size for me once I'm done growing. It's a bit heavy now, but I already feel like it's a part of my body, which is pretty creepy since it took me almost a month for me to feel that way about my last sword. He's really good." Karui's eyes widened in recognition. "Oh! I just remembered! You know how we said that Zabuza Momochi moved to Konoha?" The large man nodded curiously. "Well, his sword is different from what was mentioned in the Bingo Books! I remember him grumbling about how that guy upgrading his sword had left him in so much debt!"

"Oh?" The Raikage asked in an interested tone. "One of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist actually allowed another to work on his blade? How was it different?"

Samui stepped forward. "From what we could tell, Kubikiri Hōchō's foundation metal had been changed to one that we suspect conducts chakra easier, one that is also stronger and lighter than its previous type. The blade has a blue tint to the metal now, and is somewhat narrower, though it's still quite broad. In addition to that, I managed to notice that there were some seals on the pommel of the blade. I can't be too sure about it just yet, but I'm fairly certain that its main function is to store large amounts of water, since I saw him using several water techniques where the water originated from his pommel."

"I see…" A mused as he handed back Karui the sword. "From what I can tell, your sword truly is at least a step higher in quality and make than most of the blades here in Kumo, though I will leave Bee with the final judgment since he uses blades more often than I do. Make sure to take care of it, because if what you told me is correct, then I'm sure as hell not going to pay for a replacement. Once I get Bee's input on your sword, I'll decide if doing business with this man is worth my time."

Karui smiled as she put her sword back. "Thank you, Raikage-sama."

The man nodded. "You three may go. No doubt my brother is eager to see you again… and it will keep him and his annoying rapping away from me, finally…"

"Yes, Raikage-sama!" The three chūnin said before disappearing with a shunshin.

The leader's face hardened again as he turned to Yugito. "So how did Konoha end up after the invasion? Should we expect any of the other villages to make any big moves in the near future?"

Yugito shook her head. "Despite the size of the force and Orochimaru's presence, the damage to the village was negligible at best. Their forces are still going strong, and it will take almost no time for them to recover the strength that they lost. In addition to that, I saw that the Tsuchikage and the Hokage were on good terms with each other 'til the short one left, and Suna's forces are already working on restoring order in their ranks and their relationship with their Daimyō again. In addition to those two, I saw many Kusa and Taki shinobi fighting alongside the Konoha shinobi as well without much issue. To be blunt, the only major village other than us, Kiri, has to my knowledge yet to contact or engage in any activity with Konoha that might eventually result in a possible alliance or peace agreement…"

A snorted. "Humph. I highly doubt that Iwa will willingly get along with Konoha that easily, but Ōnoki always did enjoy hanging around Sarutobi on occasion…" He paused. "You mentioned that there wasn't much contact with the Hyūga. Do you think it's possible to engage in talks with them soon?"

Yugito shook her head again. "I doubt it. The reason why we didn't encounter many of them was because they were avoiding us. The few we did see were not enthralled to meet us, for obvious reasons. In fact, the one that we were travelling with on the way here seems to hold us in deep contempt. Apparently the… event a decade ago affected his personal life on a drastic scale. He did not get along with Karui that well for obvious reasons, but other than that, he kept quiet and only talked to us a few times."

"I see…" The man mused regrettably. "I had wished to make an apology to them sometime soon, but at the moment, it seems it would still fall on skeptical ears… and unfortunately, it would only make relations between us worse if we tried to give the body back now. The condition that it is in would only make them think that we are insulting them…" He took in a deep breath. "Is there anything else you want to report to me?" He smirked a little. "Any secret organizations discovered or plots to take over the world?"

Yugito rolled her eyes. "Yes, Raikage-sama. While I was in Konoha, I met people who can travel between dimensions, several people who came back through time to prevent Armageddon, more than half of the jinchūriki in the world, learned of a secret organization that wants to take over the Elemental Nations, and met the creator of all the known universes in existence. It was a very enlightening experience."

The Raikage laughed. "Hah! I see you've been getting more creative with your responses. No matter. You're free to go. I know you deserve a break from your vacation, but I can only give you a week in the village at the most. We still have missions to do, after all, and from what you've told me, I should probably send some messengers to the countries that Orochimaru inhabited so that we don't lose a piece of that influx of missions that are bound to pop up soon."

The jinchūriki nodded. "Thank you, Raikage-sama. Before I leave though, can you tell me where your brother is? I need to speak to him about various things, including his student's performance on their last mission."

"Of course!" The big man grinned. "Nothing has changed since you left, so since it's a bit before noon, that idiot of a brother of mine should still be in that Karaoke bar pretending to rap. If not there, then he's in the usual training ground. Just make sure to remember your ear plugs. You know how badly my brother's hobby mixes with the microphone…"

Yugito shuddered as she remembered the incident her leader was referring to. A few years back, Bee tried to host an outdoor concert in the middle of the village. The resulting feedback from the microphones was so loud that almost ¾ of the windows in the entire village had shattered in an instant and many people, both shinobi and civilian, reported damaged eardrums or hearing loss. It took over 4 months for the village to get back to normal, but even now a person could come across a conversation where one person had to yell in order to be heard by the other. Since then, all the music bars in Kumo and the surrounding villages had a special ultra-soundproof room set up just in case Bee ever happened to stop by. "Thanks for reminding me…" She whimpered as she disappeared with a shunshin.

"Anytime…" The leader chuckled as he bent over to pick up his weights. The man sighed as he began to exercise again. Despite how much the news of Konoha disturbed him, he was confident that his shinobi could take care of themselves. No… something else was bugging him. He could tell that it was linked to the invasion, but not how. Looking out of his window the man grunted as he flexed his arm. Perhaps it would be best if he took a quick trip to the Island with Bee soon… just to be safe.

o. o. o.

Oto Base:

Kimimaro woke up from his deep sleep to hear a commotion inside the base. While this wasn't normally an oddity, considering that Orochimaru often kept some of his more dangerous experiments here, the amount of screams he heard from the hallway and the occasional shaking of his room definitely warranted some interest.

Getting on his loose clothing and popping a few extra emergency pills for good measure, the Kaguya hurried outside his room to see several of the Oto shinobi that were tasked with taking care of the base running away from something. Without even blinking or second guessing himself, he nimbly grabbed a passing man and slammed him against the wall. "Explain what is happening. Now."

The man breathed heavily as he realized that he was in the hands of someone who was potentially as lethal as the group he was running from. "These shinobi just came here about 20 minutes ago, claimed Orochimaru-sama was dead and entered the base! When we laughed and told him that he was wrong and that our leader was recovering in the northern base, one of them dragged out one of the guys that were in the invasion. He said the exact same thing they did and said that the invasion was a failure! That the Leaf knew we were coming and that Suna betrayed us. We tried to stop them from coming in, but they were too strong and we were completely wiped out! All the traps didn't faze them at all… it was like they knew where they were in the first place! They never took any of the false corridors and blasted through all the gates as if they were nothing! Everything happened so fast that we couldn't get into formation in time or activate any of the defenses. The base is lost, Kimimaro-sama! Ugh!"

The teen said nothing as he slit the man's throat in dissatisfaction and threw him to the side before grabbing another fleeing shinobi. "Tell me about the intruders. How many are there?"

"I believe it would be simpler to just turn around and count, Kimimaro-kun." Spoke a polite voice from the hallway that everyone had been running from just a few moments before.

Without even looking, the bone expert flung his free hand in the direction of the voice, firing the bones at the tips of his fingers like bullets at the source. Unfortunately, the bones were blocked by a large blue tinted broadsword wielded by another individual. "I see you are rather skilled… though it is rather pathetic that you would use lies in order to try and gain an advantage in a fight here…"

"We weren't lying about the snake taking a dirt nap brat." The wielder of the sword grumbled as he shouldered the massive weapon. The boy eyed his five opponents. Three children younger than himself, and two men. All of them minus the short man seemed to have taken part in the fighting at some point from the dust and blood (or lack of) on their attire. Children, he doubted would prove to be much issue to deal with, but the men in front were clearly experienced and strong, especially the short one. "I saw it myself. Old, tall, pale, and creepy got the cremation of the century during the invasion. The fight was completely enclosed in a ridiculously strong barrier and we got sensors that said only the old people got out from there alive. Face it. Your boss is dead." He turned to the kids. "I'll take this one, brats. He's got a mean streak in his eyes, and I doubt any of you are good enough to beat him just yet. Plus, you're all pretty drained from fighting all the other small fry that we came across."

"Humph." The teen mused. "As if I would fall for such a poorly fabricated lie like that one…"

The one that spoke up first stepped forward. The way he carried himself and looked at him almost unnerved the boy. He was different. "… I assume that from the way the base is handled no one was allowed in or out for a while… correct? Even when we were disguised as your men, entrance was forbidden. Don't you find that a bit odd?"

The pale boy responded by popping his shoulder out of its socket and ripping it out of his body. "… I have no desire to play with your mind games. Prepare to die."

"Damn…" Zabuza whistled. "Never saw a Kaguya do that before…"

"Did he just…? With his bone…?" Tenten said disbelievingly while trying not to hurl.

"I will take care of this one… he interests me…" Scabbard mused as the boy charged at him and prepared to slash the man. Scabbard merely retaliated by raising his arm lazily and somehow blocking the blade with his arm, a metallic clang ringing out in the process, much to everyone's shock. "I admire your loyalty to your master, Kimimaro-kun. However, even you must admit that Orochimaru is not immune from death."

The boy frowned at this new development and quickly jumped back. "I said I am not interested in playing your silly mind games, weakling. Orochimaru is the one who will transcend mortality and god alike. One such as yourself cannot possibly hope to understand someone as great as him. Dance of the Camilla…" He lunged forward in hopes to stab the man.

Scabbard merely shuffled and evaded each of the stabs in stride despite the fast pace the boy was attacking him at. "You have impressive speed, form, and technique. If I was not so used to fighting my brother, I might be more worried for my well-being at the moment. No, I am not doubting that Orochimaru was a great person. His achievements… while questionable, are regardless proof of that. However, I myself am also a man of science and intellect, so I usually tend to believe that I can comprehend people like your master more than others, if only in their sense of logic and thought processes at least. It is because of this that I know that your master overextended himself and forgot what his original dream in life was supposed to be. As he grew more powerful and the world around him became more muddled, his dream slowly twisted into something that many if not all people would consider irrational. He desired to become a god, which by the way I can assure you immediately disqualifies him from being one in the first place."

"F-fast…" Lee gaped as he watched the two in action. "None of their movements are wasted…"

Neji grunted as he attempted to watch the fight with the Byakugan active. He had spent long enough periods of time near Naruto and Scabbard so that his eyes were almost used to the ridiculous amounts of chakra that both carried without blinding himself. "The metal liquid in his body is constantly shifting… but in controlled amounts. It's probably what he used to block that earlier bone blade attack…"

Kimimaro frowned, partially in frustration from not hitting the man already, and partially due to his explanation. "Wanting to become a god prevents you from being one?"

Scabbard nodded. "Yes. Becoming a god is a long and annoying process, and mostly relies on fate, sheer dumb luck, and an incredible will. The catch is that if one actually desired to become a god instead of focus on what they would do as one, they would only become extremely powerful at the most, but not a god. However, we are getting off subject. You claim that Orochimaru is still alive. Did someone tell you this?" The man's lightning green eyes momentarily flashed. "Was it Kabuto?"

The boy responded by firing off more finger bullets at the man, which were countered by a single bolt of lightning that flashed from one bone to the next and destroying them all in an instant. "I said, enough of your pointless lies…" Several bones in his body shot out at odd angles, making him very dangerous to simply approach at any angle. "Dance of the Willow…" He muttered before charging at the man again.

"Impressive…" Scabbard mused as he stood still with his hands in his pockets and watched the boy charge him.

"Sensei! Run!" Tenten shouted as the boy rapidly got closer and the man didn't do anything.

Just as the boy was about to hit the man however, he immediately jumped back and glared at the man. The rest of the people watching the fight blinked in surprise as they saw that several of the bones jutting out of his body had been cleanly cut and there were some scratches on his body as well. "You…" The boy said carefully as he flexed his hands and arms experimentally. "You have a power similar to mine, I see…"

"I am impressed…" Scabbard repeated, not at all noticing that there were several large metal blades sticking out of his body similar to Kimimaro, only they were moving slowly and reflecting the light off of the candles in the hallway. Occasional bolts of electricity arced around them as they moved. "You reacted much sooner than I expected you to. Orochimaru truly did train you well, although I suspect that your natural talent is also to praise here…" The blades retracted into his body. "Your body must be somewhat paralyzed, however. I charged myself and my metal with fairly large frequencies of electricity, so there must be some numbing effect at this point. Now, where was I?" He mused, ignoring the glare of death the boy was giving him. "Ah yes, Kabuto…" He sighed. "I am sorry to inform you, but Orochimaru was not the only missing-nin that your… friend was reporting to." Kimimaro physically did not seem to react at all, but the super genius saw very minute twitches that symbolized a very minute curiosity. "I am sure you are aware of your master's time in Akatsuki…" He continued. "Before Kabuto came into the employment of Orochimaru, he was under the wing of his old partner, Sasori…"

"Enough!" The boy growled as he attempted to stand up despite being paralyzed. "I've had enough of your lies…!" The boy collapsed in a coughing fit from the combined physical and emotional stress he had put his body under. The group could see blood pooling under the boy's head.

"With Orochimaru is gone; the only person for Kabuto to fall back on is Sasori… he obviously can't come back to Konoha." Scab continued, not at all concerned with the boy's situation. "Since the base here has been under lockdown under Kabuto's orders since he left, it is obvious there is something here that he didn't want missing when he returned…" His eyes flashed dangerously. "Sasori has been known to make puppets from the corpses of shinobi. Imagine what someone with abilities like yours must sound like to him…" He paused. "… In fact, if my calculations are correct, if he were to arrive, today would be the beginning of the time period when he would most likely show up…"

"Shit…" Zabuza growled as he suddenly went on high alert. "So that's what you meant when you warned us earlier." He turned to Neji. "Oi, fruit boy! Keep your eyes out for anybody with those trench coats. If we're caught off guard, we're fucked."

Neji grunted as he activated his eyes and scanned the base. ' _Sasori… where have I heard that name before'?_

"It would be best if you had those lightning sealed kunai that Tenten made on you as well." Scabbard advised. "I am informed that Sasori's partner uses an odd exploding clay earth jutsu. The lightning element chakra can be used to diffuse them…"

"Why do you *cough* continue to try and lie to me…?" The boy growled, his Curse Mark growing at a rapid pace. "Whatever you are trying to convince me to do, it won't work! I'll never join Konoha!"

Before the boy's transformation finished, however, several metal spikes from the ground shot up and restrained the boy before electrocuting him. Seconds later his limp body slumped, held up only by the spikes, but his eyes were still wide open and looking around frantically.

"Whoa…" Zabuza said in a surprised tone. "Never saw him do that before…"

 _'He shoots down the metal in his body into the ground through his feet…'_ Neji thought to himself, as he watched the process with his eyes still activated. ' _Then he uses his lightning chakra to change the earth it touches into more metal, which he uses to extend his reach and repeats almost indefinitely. This all happens so quickly and without anyone knowing anything when it happens… if his range isn't limited, he could be unbeatable in an enclosed space like this, since he could attack anywhere at any time he wished…'_

"I'm not trying to bring you back to Konoha…" Scab sighed as he walked to the paralyzed boy and ignoring the shocked looks of his guards. "I am merely asking for your aid in a small project of mine and I believed that you would be the best candidate for my assistant." He paused. "But if you desire evidence, I believe that all we have to do is go to the main lab where Orochimaru keeps his documentation. If Kabuto is a spy for Sasori, no doubt he would have packed up as many important documents, test subjects, and ingredients as he could to give the man, and since it's the main lab, no one else would ever dream of attempting to enter… so everything there should be as Orochimaru left it…" The spikes withdrew back into the ground, allowing the boy to fall onto the man's shoulders. "Humor me for the time being…"

Several minutes later, they had stopped in front of a door that was presumed to be the main lab.

"Sensei? How do you know this is the right room?" Tenten asked curiously. "You seem to know exactly where you are going…"

Scab shrugged. "Simple. This isn't my first time here. Last time, I was captured after I had fallen asleep in the woods while I was disguised as a wolf…" He glanced at the shocked Kimimaro. "Unfortunately for me, when I am under that particular technique, I tend to act like what I am impersonating… so I unintentionally… ate some rather unusual things when I escaped." Everyone there sweatdropped as the man opened the door after blasting the lock with more than a bit of lightning. "And behind door number one…"

The group looked in and saw that the main lab had definitely seen better days. More than a few vials of liquid and tools were missing, and file cabinets were laid bare to show nothing in them. Many areas of the scroll racks were also unusually bare, given the dust patterns on the nearly empty shelves.

"It seems as if someone had decided to try and clean up…" Tenten said warily.

"You know… I do hate it when you're right like this, but I have to say that to be able to predict this much so long ago is somewhat impressive…" Zabuza grumbled as he looked around, only to pause at the jarred snakes on one desk. "It's still creepy as hell in here, though…"

"N-no…" Kimimaro gasped somehow through his paralyzed body. "This must be… a trick… Kabuto is… loyal…"

"Please…" The swordsman snorted. "I've seen that brat Kabuto before. There's no way that kid is the kind that wouldn't have a backup boss just in case. The way he looks and acts screams hidden agenda and double crosser."

"Oi… Kimimaro, or whatever your name is…" Neji spoke up in a worried and nervous voice. "If you think this still is some kind of elaborate story, you're going to get a wakeup call real soon…"

Scabbard's eyes flashed as he knew what Neji was talking about. "Black cloaks and red clouds?"

Neji nodded.

"Well, then… I believe this is a good time to state that this is a worst case scenario situation…" The short man said informatively to the rapidly paling genin. "Be sure to take notes… and try not to die."

o. o. o.

A/N:

I'm baaaaaack! Woo! Israel was awesome! (Looks at check list). Swam in the Mediterranean and the Dead Sea. Check. Ate. Check. Partied and danced in several clubs. Check. Got sick. Check. Got small case of athlete's foot. Check. Sprained ankle on last day and fell down half a flight of stairs. Check. Had a small child point a gun at the bus I was in. Check. Slept in an Arab tent like in the movies. Check. Asked to help out a Bar Mitzvah for no reason whatsoever. Check (twice).

Man, Israel was awesome.

Okay. I've had people ask who writes Naruto Reads Naruto since for some reason, the search function here has heart attacks when it's typed in. It's written by Sage of Seals. Sorry for the confusion.

Anyways, I'm back and I have a bunch of ideas to use. I'll be sure to have more Naruto Hinata fluff come up soon, It's just plot comes first, and trust me, you guys want to see the things in Scab's conversation with Deidara… dood. Heheheh. Small hint right there.

Anyways. Worship the Log, review, pray that Naruto gets to learn his mom's cool chain technique, and review again! Third Fang out!


	49. I've just been told that this story has more words than the Christian Bible. Personally, I think it's more entertaining to read, too… but maybe that's just because I'm Jewish.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 49: I've just been told that this story has more words than the Christian Bible. Personally, I think it's more entertaining to read, too… but maybe that's just because I'm Jewish.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Oto Base:

"So then, does everyone understand what they have to do?" Scabbard asked the group in front of him. Within 10 minutes, the man had not only made a plan for everyone, but had taken Kimimaro aside to explain to him what he personally wanted the boy to help with. Despite the boy's almost religious loyalty to the Snake Sannin, he quickly and unhappily accepted his current situation, and was willing to at least think about his potential new task in life. "Please speak up if you have any questions, as our guests will no doubt be here very soon, despite the fact that I managed to hack into the base's system and reset the traps here." He paused as an explosion was heard and the room shook just a small amount. "Exactly 8 minutes, if my calculation is correct…"

"Yeah…" Zabuza grumbled as he looked at Kimimaro skeptically. "Are you sure it's okay to just leave the brat alone like this after we get away? He could stab us in the back at any point in time if he wanted to…"

Scabbard shook his head. "I am sure." He looked at Kimimaro. "At the moment, our friend here is well aware that he is alone and betrayed. I have offered him an opportunity that I am sure he will take me up on in due time, since it is similar to Orochimaru's original goal in life. It will also give him an opportunity to find out that we weren't lying to him. When he is ready and willing to, he will follow the instructions I've given him. Besides, it is not as if I am making him do this alone. I'm sure that your friend Jūgo will be more than happy to see you again…"

Kimimaro frowned. This man knew far too much about his personal life for his liking. However, the task that he had been offered was in many ways… appealing, and would not clash with his loyalty to Orochimaru at all. Also, it would be somewhat comforting to spend more time with Jūgo again. "If I agree to this… task of yours… I am not obligated to aid any Konoha shinobi, correct?"

Neji frowned. "We come here and save your life, and this is how you still view us? Orochimaru…"

"Neji." Scabbard interrupted, seeing the flash of murderous intent in the Kaguya's eyes. "You still need some practice in keeping your thoughts to yourself." He sighed as he turned to the white-haired boy again. "Unless they come with permission directly from a member of my family or a select list of individuals, you are free to do with them what you wish… though it would be best if you learned how to differentiate between when someone found the place on purpose and when they found it by pure chance."

"Hey… I need a quick word." Zabuza spoke up as he walked to the shorter man and took him to the side. "I know that Akatsuki are dangerous, but I thought that you guys weren't going to be hands on when it came to actually dealing with them…"

"I'm just going to stall them so all of you can get some distance…" Scabbard muttered back. "There may be a few jutsu thrown back and forth, but I'll make sure that no serious fighting takes place. Besides, it's an interesting and rare opportunity to gain more information on their fighting styles in a relatively controlled setting. We know a fair amount about both of them, but none of my family members are dumb enough to assume that we know everything."

"They're at the end of the hallway." Neji said nervously with his eyes active. "… And they're coming straight to us. One of them is massive and hunched over… and has a tail?" He frowned. "He also has a massive shell on his back that looks like a face… and his right arm has some sort of modified gauntlet on it."

"That's Sasori…" Kimimaro said out loud. Almost regrettably, he began to admit that the Konoha shinobi's story was beginning to check out. "Orochimaru-sama occasionally told me of his partner while he was in Akatsuki... mostly during training, in order to provide me with examples of possible opponents I could face. Apparently, he travels inside a massive puppet called Hiruko and uses poison with almost all his techniques and traps…" He paused. "… From the way Orochimaru-sama talked about him, I could tell that he is not a shinobi that could be dealt with easily…"

"He's right…" Neji said squinting. "I can see another body inside the bigger one and some chakra strings going throughout it as well. He has a massive amount of chakra… and his partner also appears to be strong as well… are those mouths on his hands and chest?"

"Scabbard-sensei, are you sure that it is wise to go through with this plan?" Lee asked nervously. "I do not feel comfortable leaving you in such a position… and you did hire us to protect you in the first place…"

The man patted the boy on the head. "There is nothing to worry about, Lee. So long as you all follow my directions, I will be in no danger at all." He turned to Tenten. "Remember, you have a very important part to play, Tenten, so keep your eyes peeled."

The girl nodded shakily as she rested her hand on a scroll that the man had given her a few minutes earlier. She could already feel the presence of the two men approaching, and it wasn't pleasant. "R-Right, Sensei…"

Before Tenten could finish talking, Scabbard spun around quickly and threw out his hands, spraying countless small bolts of lightning that pierced the many small clay monsters that had just entered the room, one of which was just about to latch onto the girl from above. "I see they're here…"

"Humph. I should have known your silly toys wouldn't have worked…" Grumbled a deep voice from the doorway. "It's probably a good thing, too. I would have been irritated if the room collapsed and we had to dig out the Kaguya's body. Orochimaru always knew that I wanted to get my hands on one, especially after the idiots wiped themselves out attacking Kiri…"

"Don't try to knock my art, especially when you haven't done anything since we entered this place! Hmm!" Grunted a younger voice. "It's my art that took care of all those annoying traps, not your stupid models!" The owner of the voice walked in first, revealing a 16 year old Deidara glancing at the group. "Huh? What the heck are Konoha shinobi doing here?"

Scabbard answered. "We knew about the invasion for a while, so it's only natural that we would learn of Orochimaru's main base through the same source." His eyes flashed. "However, I believe your source in particular needs more practice concealing himself. Orochimaru had known that he was your spy for a while."

"I told you that glasses bastard was trouble!" Deidara yelled at Sasori, not noticing the twitch of the eyes that Kimimaro had when he heard this.

"I believe that's enough proof, isn't it?" The Ōgakari mused to the bone wielder, before whipping out a metal pole from his sleeve and spinning it expertly to deflect the dozens of senbon that nearly impaled him. The rest of the group, having already taken out their respective weapons earlier, huddled in the area behind the man and evaded or dodged the stray pieced of metal that flew their way.

"One of the few things I hate more than being kept waiting is being ignored…" Sasori growled as he put his mask back on. "You're not bad. Not many would be able to deflect all of the senbon like that without missing a few…"

Deidara snorted as he casually stuck his hands in his coat. "Humph. You're so egotistical. When my attack doesn't work, you aren't surprised, but when yours doesn't, you're almost impressed…"

Zabuza wasn't fooled, though. "Keep your eyes peeled, brats. These guys are out for blood…"

Scabbard on the other hand bowed deeply. "To be complimented by Sasori of the Red Sands… It is an honor…"

"You novice idiot! You took your eyes off your opponents!" Deidara yelled as he threw his hands out to unleash several clay snakes while Sasori's tail lashed out at the man. Both attacks rushed forward at speeds that Gai's genin could barely follow.

Scabbard, on the other hand, expected such a reaction and dropped to one knee from his bowing position instantly and slammed the hand that wasn't holding the rod on the ground. Bolts of electricity arced from his body and the ground in front of him as dozens of metal blades erupted in front of him and impaled the snakes and the tail with ease, stopping them in their tracks. The electricity didn't stop sparking as they traveled up the clay and the tail to the shock of the attackers, who immediately disconnected themselves from the now detrimental parts. "I see that I will have to be wary of my well-being when I am around you two…" The man mused out loud.

"He's good…" Sasori grumbled to himself as he watched the man step back up again. "Be careful Deidara, this one seems to have some interesting tricks up his sleeve…"

 _'He expected them to attack when he appeared to let down his guard and positioned his body so he'd hit the ground faster…'_ Neji managed to think while somehow keeping his wits. He had no doubt that the guys in front of him could casually kill him without a second thought. Through the corner of his eye, he could see the blades that impaled the tail retreating into the ground, taking the tail with them. ' _Doing so, he already managed to get rid of that Sasori guy's tail… this guy's mind is unreal to be able to partially disable an opponent of this level so quickly. So this is what a real fight between high level shinobi is like… it's horrifying…'_

Tenten on the other hand couldn't keep her eyes off of the blades sticking out of the ground. ' _I… can tell that those blades are modeled after another… stronger… used by a king in a faraway land… its name… it's on the tip of my tongue… Durandal… how do I know its name? Is this part of what Sensei was trying to unlock in me?'_

"Your reputations do you two no justice…" Scabbard chuckled as he looked up with a small smirk. "You both really are quite impatient."

"Why you…" Deidara growled as he threw his hands into his clay pouches again.

"Deidara!" Sasori growled, never taking his eyes off of the man. "Calm down. He's playing us in order to make us make more mistakes…" He retracted his now incomplete tail under his cloak. He paused as he looked at the shinobi behind the man and saw Kimimaro. "… I see that you are also here for the Kaguya. Sorry to disappoint you, but from what I've been told, the brat is sick with an incurable disease. Unless you are also after his corpse, he won't be of much use to you…"

Tenten glanced at the almost indifferent teen. ' _Now that I think about it, he did collapse soon after Sensei started to fight him and cough up a lot of blood…'_

Scabbard, on the other hand, was not at all concerned. "While your concern is welcome, I assure you that I do have access to several medics of exceptional caliber that Orochimaru has yet to come across. Until then, I have already taken steps to ensure that our friend will not suddenly die in front of me." Kimimaro subconsciously brushed his hand against his pocked which contained a small pouch the man had given him.

Sasori's unconcerned gaze then continued onto Zabuza and Neji. "Hmm. If I'm not mistaken, you have a Hyūga and the Demon of the Bloody Mist behind you as well. Kisame was rather irritable when he brought you up at the last meeting…"

Deidara snorted with his hands once again in his clay. "You're the guy that managed to strip shark face, hmm? You don't look like much, but I suppose I have to give you my thanks. It was pretty funny to see him argue with Kakuzu about paying for replacement coats."

"I wasn't trying to give you all entertainment…" Zabuza grunted, his body never moving from its guarding stance. "But if it was at that bastard's expense, then I guess it's fine by me at the moment…"

"I've made some puppets out of the corpses of people with bloodlines before…" Sasori mused, not taking his eyes off of a terrified Neji and distracting everyone from Deidara who put his hands behind his back. "But never one with a dōjutsu… I'm rather quite interested to see how you would turn out…"

"Don't be so insensitive, Sasori-san…" Scabbard said in a rather casual tone and raised a hand up to eye level. "Hyūga are rather protective of their eyes…" Suddenly a bright flash erupted from the man's palm, blinding everyone there.

"Now!" Zabuza yelled, and soon enough there were sounds of something exploding in the room.

"Deidara!" Sasori roared as he jumped to avoid anything that could have been used against him.

"Already on it!" The 16 year old replied with his eyes closed as he focused his chakra to move the two clay centipedes that he had slipped into the ground to ensnare their prey above them. Much to his surprise, though, just before they were about to move, his connection with them was severed. "What? Again?" He hissed before he heard a large rumbling coming from right in front of them.

Sasori, being that he was a puppet, recovered from the flash quickly and immediately looked in the direction of the commotion and saw a large mass in the direction that the group was retreating that stretched from the floor to the ceiling, but he couldn't see it clearly because several smoke bombs had been detonated in the middle of the room. He COULD, however, make out the small bolts of electricity surrounding the structure and the human shaped figure hunched over in front of it. Without even thinking about it, the puppet master ripped off his mask again and unleashed a hail of senbon on the figure and hit the figure dead on, causing whoever he hit to stagger a bit before slumping to the ground. Just as he did, the mass behind him vanished into the ceiling and the smoke died down a bit, showing that no one else was left in the room.

"Shit!" Deidara swore as he rubbed his eyes. "Why is it that all the lightning types I come across know that blinding technique?"

"Because of situations like this, you fool…" Sasori replied as he shuffled forward towards the body of the short man with the dyed green hair. "I managed to get the annoying one, but the rest managed to escape to the surface using some odd jutsu. We'll have to go back through the main entrance and follow their tracks before they get too far away…" Before he could finish his sentence, however, bolts of electricity once again laced the room, putting the two shinobi on guard. Before they could think about getting out of the room, several thick bars of metal blocked the entranceway and lined the walls, preventing escape. Once again acting on instinct, Sasori whipped out his tip less tail and slammed it into the body in front of him. It disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "Tch…" He growled as he looked around carefully. "Shadow clone… of course someone with that much chakra from Konoha would know that technique…" He glanced at his partner. "Oi Deidara. Make yourself useful and open a way out of here if you can actually get those useless mutant creations of yours to work for once…"

Deidara frowned as his eyes finally readjusted themselves. "Don't insult my art! It is not my fault that this guy keeps on diffusing them with his lightning attacks. I don't expect someone like you to appreciate the greatness of my work…"

"I, for one, find it depressing that two fellow artists such as yourselves are unable to truly respect the quality of each other's works…" Sighed a third voice from the other side of the room. The two Akatsuki members immediately turned their attention to the other side of the disappearing smoke cloud to see Scabbard leaning against the wall. "I mean, isn't the true mark of an artist not only the quality of his work, but also his ability to see it in the works of others? I myself am actually quite humbled by both of your works. I have dabbled a bit in puppetry myself, so I am aware of how impressive Sasori-san's work is. As for Deidara-san, to be able to produce so many unique ways to explode things using your clay truly makes you a pioneer in your field."

Deidara snorted as the dust finally started to clear. "Humph. Even though we're going to kill you, I must admit that you are someone who knows quality art when he sees it…"

"He does somewhat have a point there… art can take the form of many things…" Sasori mused. "You said that you yourself are also an artist. What do you specialize in?"

Scabbard nodded as he held his hand out. A powerful looking longsword with several rune like markings on the blade materialized itself from the ground, surrounded by an aura of flashing lightning, and he grabbed the handle. "I like to think that I am experienced in all fields of art and science; however, I have always had a soft spot for metalwork… swords and weapons of similar nature in particular…"

Sasori and Deidara frowned at this display of power and eyed the weapon carefully. There was little doubt that the runes on the sword were not just for show. "An interesting skill…" Sasori mused. "One could say that you could be the strongest blacksmith with abilities like yours…"

Scabbard smiled sadly and shook his head. "No. That title belongs to a good friend of mine, but it is humbling that you would consider me as such. Thank you."

"Humph. Whatever. Let's just kill you so we can get back to getting that bone kid before we lose him. Otherwise, Sasori-dana will get pissed. Hm." Deidara grunted as he reached for his clay again.

"Ah! Before you do though…" Scabbard said offhandedly as he took out a scroll and tossed it to the terrorist bomber. "I have a personal request for you, Deidara-san. If anyone in my family was to encounter you, we were to ask you to do this request since you're the only one we know of that could do it. Many of my family members are actually fans of your work."

Deidara couldn't help but grin childishly as he caught the scroll. "Well it can't be helped if it's for fans of mine…"

Sasori glared at his partner with irritation. "Deidara!"

"Oh, don't worry about it, Sasori-dana." The teen said gleefully. Ever since he joined Akatsuki, the personal requests he received when he freelanced himself had dwindled almost down to nothing. "After this is over with, I'll just bore a hole through the earth as a shortcut and we'll easily catch up with that brat. He's sick, right? How far can he possibly get?" He opened the scroll while chuckling, only to pause at what was written on it. "What… the hell is this?" He asked in a very confused manner as he showed the picture drawn on the inside. The picture was of a penguin wearing a fanny pack and had wooden pegs as legs. Its body also looked like it was stitched together at some parts. All in all, it looked completely retarded to the shinobi there.

"Right…" Sasori growled in an almost amused tone, unable to not take a jab at the disappointed teen. "… for your fans…"

"It's a Prinny." Scabbard sighed, knowing that the request wasn't going to go well in the first place. "Otherwise known as the slave of the underworld. Trust me, I had the same reaction when I first saw one. In reality it's a request from the more… carefree part of my family. I personally didn't want to ask something so childish of you, but I was outvoted…"

"Why…would you ask ME of all people to make something so… so…" Deidara growled as one of his hands made a tight fist.

Scabbard shrugged. "It's mostly because prinnies blow up when you throw them…" He paused as he saw the looks the other two were giving him. "What? I'm not making this up. I was just as disturbed as you are when I first saw it happen."

"You know what?" Deidara growled as he jammed one of his hands into his clay pouch. "I'll make this foolish penguin thing of yours…" He took out his hand and started to knead the clay in the mouth before out popped a tiny model Prinny and threw it between the groups. "… Just so I CAN KILL YOU WITH IT!"

Poof. The small figurine transformed into a life sized, albeit colorless, demon penguin. However, instead of rushing to try and kill Scabbard, it looked around curiously. "Huh? Where the hell am I, dood? Last thing I remember was being left alone in the castle and being forced to clean it after that evil bitch Etna and the love freak left…"

Scabbard blinked with wide eyes, clearly not expecting this to happen. "Well then… this is… unexpected…"

Deidara was also somewhat stupefied at what his art had just become. "I've never had my art talk before… hn…"

The Prinny stepped back in shock as it looked at Deidara. "Holy crap, dood! I totally thought you were a chick!"

Boom! Deidara instantly blew up the Prinny on instinct and rage.

Sasori chuckled as the smoke cleared up. "Heheh. Well, that was somewhat entertaining… perhaps you should make more of those funny little creatures and show them the mouths on your hands and ask them what they think? After all, it's all for your _fans…_ "

"We will never speak of this ever again…" Deidara growled with fire in his eyes. "Ever…"

The Ōgakari started to sweat as he realized that both shinobi were now giving him their full attention again. "In my defense, I did not think that you would actually be able to create a live Prinny…"

"Just shut up and DIE IN THE NAME OF ART!" The enraged blonde yelled as he threw a large number of his spider bombs at the man.

"Deidara, you idiot! If all of those go off, we'll be buried!" Sasori roared.

"Shit…" Scab muttered as swung the arm not holding the sword and blasted off more tiny lightning bolts that impaled the spiders and disarmed them. The stray bolts that headed towards the black robed men were either blocked by Sasori's ever useful tail or dodged by Deidara. ' _I had hoped to stall them myself for at least 5 more minutes while learning some more of their tricks, but that Prinny complicated things… luckily, I prepared for the worst for this sort of situation… oh well, at least I managed to decompose Sasori's tail and figure out what he uses to make both it and the poison he currently uses… though I doubt it will be the same in a few years…'_ Tapping into the giant system of metal veins that he had woven into the structure of the room, Scabbard watched as a gate of blades separated the room into two halves and dozens of strands of metal wire wrapped around the two surprised shinobi.

"Tch!" Deidara growled. "When the hell did he set this up?"

Sasori grunted as his still functional tail already started to break through the cords. "It's probably the same as those swords and spikes he makes. He's been stalling the entire time…"

The metal veins surrounding the room were tightly knitted enough to prevent anyone from using an earth technique to drill themselves out, and Scabbard had made sure to stretch his reach far enough into the base, as well as create enough additional metal gates blocking the hallways, to ensure that it would be a while before the two would be able to escape. "It seems as if the time for talking has passed…" Scabbard sighed, already watching as Sasori freed himself from the wires and started to break through the gate with his still strong tail. Looking up at a single metal spike sticking out of the ceiling, the man frowned and focused, gathering a massive amount of lightning inside his person and causing bolts of the element to dance around his body wildly. ' _This might actually be a bit too much…'_ Scabbard mused as he calculated how much energy he was using just to make a signal before he smirked. ' _… Oh, who the hell am I fooling? The others have said repeatedly that my middle name should be changed to Overkill, and I do so_ _hate_ _not surpassing expectations…'_

"Sasori-dana…" Deidara started to sweat nervously as he noted that the amount of chakra this guy was pulling out was reaching very uncomfortable levels for him as his exceptionally long hair stood out on end. "You can start to work on me anytime now…"

Sasori ignored his partner's whimpering and fired his right arm at Scabbard in hopes to kill him before he fired that massive blast of lightning at them. Just as the arm slipped through the metal bars, however, Scabbard unleashed an enormous bolt of lightning that incinerated the mechanical arm in an instant and arced upward towards the metal spike…"

o. o. o.

Outside, several miles from the base:

"Do you think Sensei will be okay?" Lee asked nervously as he and the rest of the group ran as quickly as they could towards the Land of Fire. When Scab had blinded the Akatsuki members with his lightning, the genin and Zabuza had thrown down a fair amount of smoke bombs to conceal themselves further. Then Scabbard had managed to somehow construct a lift of sorts with his powers around the rest of the group and raised them through the ceiling and the earth above them while creating a shadow clone in order to distract the two men in order to get them out. "He seemed very confident in his abilities, but the two unyouthful men that confronted us…"

"Don't worry about that one, kid…" Zabuza grunted as he traveled behind them in case the enemy did actually manage to catch up or Kimimaro tried to pull anything on them. "If there's anything I've learned from living in that family's place for half a year, it's that they never run out of tricks, and that they are all flashy as hell. Whatever the signal is that he told us to look out for, I have little doubt that we'll have trouble telling what it…"

CRACK. CRACK. BOOOOOOOM!

All the shinobi stumbled in surprise at the deafening sound of lightning when there wasn't a cloud in the sky that night and turned around to gape at what they saw. A massive arc of green lightning reached towards the sky and branched off making it look upside down… or in this case, an enormous glowing green leafless tree with countless branches that were constantly moving and changing. Not even a few seconds later, they were hit by a large shockwave caused from the appearance of the monstrosity.

"T-told ya…" Zabuza chuckled nervously, clearly not expecting Scabbard to do something THAT big. He turned to Tenten. "Well, what are you waiting for, girl?"

The girl blinked for a moment in awe before realizing what she was supposed to be doing at the moment. "R-right…" She stumbled on her words as she reached for the scroll that the man had given her and expertly unraveled it, revealing a rather complicated seal. Slamming her hands on either side of the scroll and focusing her chakra, she activated it in midair. The seal glowed for a second before a cloud of smoke appeared and unveiled Scabbard… before he fell screaming through the forest's canopy because Tenten had summoned him in midair instead of over the branch she was standing on. Everyone blinked before looking at the sweating girl. "Heheheh… um… oops?"

o. o. o.

Back In Konoha:

Hana groaned as she walked into her home exhausted. She had pulled an all-nighter at the hospital since it was one of Waltz's few days off and she was _supposedly_ the next best medic currently in the village due to her loads of hands-on experience dealing with emergency cases… huzzah. The triplets were also somewhat groggy, as they had stayed in the building with her the entire time and they were somewhat drunk off of the fumes in the building, evident when one of them missed the door and head butted the wall next to it.

"I'm hooome…" The girl called out as she put down her equipment and walked throughout the main building when something caught her ears and nose. Even in the tired state she was in, she could clearly tell that there were a large number of people in her mom's room, and many of them were agitated. "Oh, come on…" She groaned to herself as she went to the source of the commotion to see what the hell was going on. Since she was the eldest child of the current alpha of the clan, she was obligated to be present at any major clan gathering whenever they happened if she was able to. "Did this really have to happen just as I got back?"

Walking to her mom's room, Hana was somewhat surprised to see her mom wrapped in bandages, clearly to treat a wound to the ribs, surrounded by several of the more prominent members of her clan. She could tell that the extra attention was not doing any favors to the woman's temper or situation.

"Tsume, why aren't you taking action for this?" One of the elder, and in Hana's personal opinion, more stuck-up members of her clan asked angrily. "They clearly have overstepped their bounds with this latest stunt, and you aren't even telling us what happened!"

"For good reason…" Kuromaru grunted. "What happened there is on a need to know basis. So if we don't tell you, then you don't need to know."

"Mom!" Hana spoke up as she rushed forward and looked at the woman's wounds. "What the hell happened to you? Did you drink some of the Akimichi's secret stash again or something? You look like Kiba after he tried hitting on his teammate…"

"Fortunately for me, that didn't happen." Kuromaru grumbled somewhat relieved. "I'd hate to think of what else I would lose if it did…"

"Your mother left earlier today to go talk to the Ōgakari about certain… topics…" Growled one of the more conservative members of the clan, glaring at the girl and immediately sending the message that she was directly involved in this. "She came back in her current state, carried Kuromaru here, and despite our protests, she has yet to tell us what had happened or allow us to seek retribution for this injustice…"

There were several nods from many in the room, both human and wolf. Many were growling in anger at this development.

 _'Humph…'_ Kuromaru mentally snorted. ' _If you did do anything that could actually bother them, you would all be dead by morning.'_ He glanced at Tsume and rolled his eye to convey his feelings about the statement. The woman snorted lightly, despite the pain it put her in, and rubbed her forehead.

"Look." The woman sighed/growled. "What happened there is between me and them ONLY, and whoever we choose to tell." She glanced apologetically to Hana. "I had… forgotten my temper again and said some things that I knew would not pass well with them. The only thing was, I underestimated their reaction to what I said…"

Hana looked at her mother disbelievingly. ' _Mom actually said something that they got pissed at? What was with that look she gave me? She couldn't have… could she?'_

"This is still unacceptable!" Yelled the conservative elder again. "No matter what you said, it should not have warranted such a response…"

Tsume frowned. "For your information, I would have had a warmer reaction from Hiashi if I had laughed about Hizashi's death while constantly poking him on the back of the head. I had royally pissed them off. ALL of them, including the old one with the patience of a saint. So much so that if I had been almost anyone else, I probably would have been dead already. I am saying right now that it was entirely my fault this happened, because I decided to run my mouth without thinking again, so all of you shut up and get the hell out of my room! End of discussion!" Everyone in the room backed up nervously from the woman. Even injured, Tsume's wrath was legendary, which was part of the reason why she was in charge in the first place. "Hana… I want you to stay." The woman said in a more reserved tone. "I… need to talk to you about some… things."

Hana didn't say anything as the rest of her family members exited the room, more than one looking at her with a mix of curiosity and disappointment, until the door finally closed. Tsume made some seals soon afterwards and silenced the room, something she had set up during the early years of her marriage.

"Mom…" Hana started nervously. "What did you do? You know as well as I do that Ghost's family never reacts violently to others unless you bring up something you were warned not to…"

" _It's true…"_ One of the triplets agreed. _"Even if we attack them, the most they will do is either run away or do one of their silly pranks to get back at us. The pervert has yet to raise a hand against us unless we are training, and even then, the most we get are a few bruises…"_

Kuromaru sighed as he saw the look of guilt on his partner's face and frowned, knowing that she was having a hard time speaking… for once. "Your mother lost her temper again and wanted to finally get under Ghost's skin. So, she 'wisely' thought it was a bright idea to bring up the topic of his previous mate…" He shivered. "For a moment, I thought that she was actually going to be killed…"

"YOU _WHAT?"_ Hana and the triplets yelled at the same time.

" _Are you fucking INSANE?"_ One of the triplets yelled at Tsume, which showed how extreme the situation was. The ONLY time an Inuzuka questioned the Alpha's decision in such a disrespectful way was if the younger one was being completely ignorant of their place in the pack, when they were blatantly challenging the Alpha for supremacy, or if the Alpha had really, REALLY fucked up big time. _"We had TOLD you that the pervert's pack was full of true alphas! A single one of them could butcher our entire clan with ease! Despite the fact that they were crazy and the perverted one kept on doing things to Hana, we told you that their loyalty to each other and their allies was unparalleled and put our own to shame. But you STILL decided to try and anger them because they act like pups most of the time?"_

" _They helped us!"_ Another of the triplets growled, once again shoving into Tsume's face the severity of what she had done. _"They helped the village from the invasion and we are stronger than we ever have been! The snake woman and the pervert have claimed that we are capable of becoming jōnin rank by the end of the year! Hana has also become more skilled as a medic and a sensor! Who cares if they act weird?! I'd be more disturbed if Hana was hanging around that odd man in the spandex suit!"_

"Mom…" Hana looked at her mother disbelievingly and betrayed. "Why… would you do that? I told you about Ghost's past because I thought that it would make you see him differently… but to do such a thing…"

"It's because I was worried about you…" Tsume interrupted looking away guiltily. "This is the farthest you've ever been in a relationship, and it's in a threesome with a shameless perverted assassin whose background is still a mystery and the Snake Mistress, for crying out loud. How could a mom not be worried about her daughter in a situation like that?" She sighed, and then winced at the pain in her ribs. "It… was embarrassing for both me and the clan, for obvious reasons. I had gone to the compound to try and draw the line with Ghost. To choose between you two… but that's when they threw another curve ball at me… they were planning on asking to allow their clan to be eligible for the C.R.A. at the next council meeting as a sort of reward for handling the invasion."

Hana's mouth dropped in shock. "Ghost… was willing to… he wanted to…"

Tsume continued, as her daughter was at a loss for words. "The girl, Shadow, was the one to tell me this. She mentioned that pretty much Ghost was the only one that was going to use it since the rest of the family had conditions that prevented them from having families… or because they simply didn't want to. Keep in mind, though, that from the way they were talking, they didn't seem to be in much of a rush, but I couldn't be too sure… but even then the girl made it clear that only you and Anko had caught his eye." She adjusted herself to relieve the pain in her stomach. "During the entire conversation, the idiot was either getting mauled by Tora… don't ask, that Dragon of theirs, or knocked out cold. We had talked about some other things as well… the Nara's were there to talk to the girl about what she taught their kid, but when the idiot woke up again, my anger came back…" She sighed. "I would be lying if I didn't say it wasn't at least a little spurred on by the way your father left us. The way that long-haired moron acts makes me think that you would go through the same things I did, and I couldn't take it. It first started off the same, he said something stupid and I punted him out of the house and started to wail on him, and he didn't fight back, as usual… but that only irritated me more. I wanted to see what he would looked like when he wasn't a confident jackass. I wanted to see what you were really getting yourself into… but I also wanted to see him hurt… and then I remembered you telling me about his previous girlfriend, the one that had the rest of the family all on edge about… and so I brought it up…" She laughed humorlessly. "As you can see, it didn't end well for me… hell, I couldn't even see him kick my ass…it was like all the humor in him had disappeared…"

"That's an understatement…" Kuromaru snorted. "If Ghost didn't leave you be after that thrashing, the girl and the elder would have killed you with just as little hesitation. Despite acting as if they have no moral code, they stick to their rules quite firmly… otherwise your remains would be decorating their front lawn."

" _No harming those that were truly forgiven by victim of the offending incident…"_ One of the triplets said knowingly.

"What… what happened afterwards?" Hana said in a scared voice.

"The elder basically told us to get the fuck out of there and not come back for a while…" Kuromaru grunted. "I was more than happy to follow his advice. He said that their grudge was with Tsume and Tsume alone and that the rest of the clan was not to blame for this, but I still don't know how well they would receive a member of our clan appearing at their doorstep at the moment…" He paused for a moment. "Odds are though that you're our best bet at getting the situation calmed down."

"The question right now is…" Tsume sighed. "What do we do from here?"

Hana remained quiet for several minutes, not bothering to look at her mother in the eye as she did so before turning for the door. "I… I'm going to go see Anko… and then we're going to check up on Ghost. We'll ask what happened between him and his previous mate… and I'll decide what to do from there." She paused. "Mom… you hurt me. I thought that you would see past his stupid personality and see how good of a person he was… see how much he cared about others. I need some time away for the moment…" Without another word she left the room with her partners following right behind her.

The room was silent for several more moments before Kuromaru decided to speak up again. "She handled herself well and made a reasonable choice of action despite the position you've put her in. She'll make a fine alpha one day…" He looked at the woman next to him. "I'm surprised you didn't mention the way he brought up her father. Normally you would have used it as a way to lessen the blame on yourself…"

Tsume shook her head sadly. "My mouth has already gotten me into enough trouble today. Bringing that up as an excuse would have only made me seem weak, especially since I played a similar card first…" She paused before looking at Kuromaru. "I remember when the idiot countered my Tsūga… he said something about Hana and her control, but I couldn't make it out because I was in shock from my ribs breaking..."

The wolf smirked. "He basically said that Hana's was much better than yours in rotation and control and that yours only had a bit more power than hers to compensate for it… looks like I was right about all those midnight trips to the kitchen, Tsume…" The wolf's smirk was immediately covered from the world as a large pillow hit his head.

"Just shut up before I rip off your other ear…" The woman grunted as she lay back down in her bed with a blush of denial on her face before going serious again. "But before we can call it a night, there's something I need you to find out for me… it's been bugging me ever since I got my head on straight again and started to think of what else happened today…"

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

Sakura grumbled to herself as she rolled her wheelchair down the halls of the building. Spending extended periods of time with Naruto and Ghost had made the girl used to environments where there was non-stop action or someone was doing something stupid. Here in the hospital, she was bored out of her mind. Sure, she had put in countless hours in the building when she was Tsunade's apprentice, but she had rarely actually spent much time on the receiving end of the treatments… although that was mostly because Tsunade healed most of them up after training.

On the plus side, however, much to her complete shock, considering how things had turned out before, Sasuke was actually paying ATTENTION to her and visiting her every other day! While her younger self would be screaming in victory and love, her older mentality was simply looking at the guilt-ridden boy like she would a cute kitten in her lap, complete with the standard 'awww' that most teenage girls do. Now that they were spending more time together, Sakura could remember why she had fallen for him in the first place… however, now that he wasn't acting like a prick, he was even more desirable than before. What sealed the deal for her though, even though she would never admit it to anyone else, was the way he was acting all guilty around her. Conscience be damned, he looked positively ADORABLE to the girl when he acted like that. She had already began to start planning her next dozen near-death experience in front of the boy just to see that priceless expression later.

Bumping into another patient, Sakura snapped out of her shōnen-driven delirium, wiped the drool from her mouth and regressing back into her irritable mood. Still, the hospital was boring as all get out. The only thing she could do to pass the time was practice some of her chakra control techniques with the stuff in her room. Her recovery was taking slightly longer than it should have taken, and so she wasn't allowed to use crutches until tomorrow at the earliest according to Waltz. It didn't help that bending her back in most directions other than straight down hurt like a bitch. Personally, she was still skeptical on the whole time traveling thing and visitors from a different universe, but if Shikamaru and Kakashi were okay with it for the time being, then there really wasn't anything she could do about it. Plus, as far as she could tell, other than nearly getting killed by Kabuto and having Sasuke almost get kidnapped, things were going pretty damn well.

Speaking of near death experiences and visitors, Sakura was somewhat surprised that her parents didn't visit her more often than they did. Sure, they did visit her when they first heard she had been hurt in the invasion, and sure, her mom was on the civilian council, so she was pretty busy, but it still made her a bit unnerved that her teammate had seen her at least 5 times as often as her parents had since the invasion happened. She would have to talk to them after she could move a bit more…

"Let me out, damn it!" Yelled a clearly angry female voice from down the hall, catching the pinkette's attention.

"Seems like someone else hates being cramped here, too…" The girl chuckled to herself as she wheeled herself in the direction of the yelling to see who it was causing the commotion. "… I should really lighten up on Naruto the next time he tries to escape from here… well, as long as he's not in critical condition at least… or risking his future as a shinobi… again…"

"I apologize, but we have direct orders not to let you out of your room unless you have permission from either Hokage-sama or Ōgakari-sama." A polite, but strained voice replied as Sakura turned the corner to see the girl from Sound in the Chūnin Exams struggling to wriggle past an ANBU in the doorway of a room.

"The hell with permission!" Kin yelled as she struggled to get out of the man's hold. "I am not staying in this room another day with absolutely nothing to freaking do and eat other that shitty crap you call food! Even Orochimaru's experimental dietary supplements tasted better than this crap!"

 _'Despite her young age, her gender, her size, and what I've heard she's been through, she is still remarkably strong…'_ The man thought to himself as he held her down. ' _It must be as Ōgakari-sama guessed, the opening of all 8 Gates did something to her muscle control. It would be too dangerous for both her and the people in the village to let her out just yet.'_ "Once again, I apologize. However, I simply cannot allow you to go just yet…"

Sakura frowned as she looked at the bizarre scene. What the hell was one of the Sound's genin doing HERE of all places? Weren't all the prisoners of the invasion kept in the prison? The Haruno's eyes narrowed even further as she noticed something odd about the way the girl moved. "Hold on…" She said out loud, wheeling herself up to the momentarily confused pair as they turned to see who was talking to them.

"Hey! You're that girl that was teamed with the blonde idiot and the Uchiha!" Kin said as soon as she saw Sakura. "I'd notice that pink mop anywhere! What the hell happened to you?"

"Kabuto." Sakura grunted as she stopped in front of them and looked at Kin with a critical eye, taking in the way her muscles moved and looked.

Kin snorted. "That weak-looking glasses wearing freak? You must have been weaker than I had guessed if he managed to do that much damage to you…"

"Will you shut up?" Sakura said as she reached out to feel the girl's arms.

The ex-Sound genin, on the other hand, retracted them. "Whoa. What the hell are you doing? I don't swing that way…" Only to wince in pain as Sakura gripped her arm forcefully. "What the hell?"

"I'm a medic in training, and a damn good one at that, if my teachers have told me anything…" The pink haired girl growled as she looked at the arm closely. "Move your arm slowly. I thought I saw something and I just want to make sure I'm right before I make any conclusions…"

"Haruno-san, while your assistance is appreciated, I don't think that…" The ANBU started, not sure how to deal with the situation.

"Be quiet, will you?" The girl chided the ANBU with no hesitation while looking at Kin's moving arm. "She's not screaming her head off, and you're not losing a battle with an injured girl. Stop complaining. Okay, now move it in a circle…"

"I'm going to pretend that was a compliment…" Kin mumbled as she followed Sakura's instructions reluctantly, only because the girl seemed to know what she was looking for if her eyes were any indication.

 _'Her muscles are all overstrained…'_ Sakura mused carefully as she glanced briefly at the rest of the girl's body. ' _She can move normally, but there is no way that she's back to her full strength yet or completely healed… but from the way she acts, she doesn't feel any tension or cramps at all. If she went out like this, her body could literally fall apart on itself, almost like… almost like using the Inner Gates too much, but on a much smaller and more gradual scale. The damage is way too similar for it to be coincidence. What the hell happened to her? She disappeared last time after the preliminaries, and she did the same this time too. They mentioned Waltz-sensei earlier… I'll have to ask him about this.'_ "ANBU-san is right." She said with finality. "There's no way we can let you out in your current condition. You would only end up making your body worse by doing so."

 _'She knows what's wrong with this girl just by briefly looking at her arms and the rest of her body…'_ The ANBU mused to himself as he watched the scene in front of him carefully. ' _She wasn't kidding when she said that she was praised by her teachers as a good potential medic…'_

Kin blinked momentarily before frowning. "Tch. Yeah right! What's so worrying about my body that I can't even have a little time to myself? I bet you're just making it up."

Sakura glared at the girl. "IF you go outside, you will constantly deal damage to all the muscles in your body since they are already strained to their limits. Why you can't feel this, I have no idea, but if you keep this up, you could easily do permanent damage to yourself and end up ruining your life as a shinobi… if you get to have that option, since you were one of Orochimaru's people…" She noticed Kin wince and look away. "I see you at least know what caused this condition and are trying to ignore it, but to keep things simple, I'm going to tell you what I tell that idiot of a teammate of mine." She took in a deep breath. "Keep your ass in that bed, or **so help me, I WILL GIVE YOU A BIGGER REASON NOT TO LEAVE THAT MATTRESS FOR A MONTH!** " Sakura's voice at the end of this statement was only matched by the amount of killing intent she was focusing on the girl.

Kin immediately responded by jumping out of the ANBU's hold and dashing for her bed before hiding under the covers. She had no idea what the hell happened, but there was no way she was going to argue against someone that could threaten to kill her so naturally while still stuck in a wheelchair.

 _'Heheheh… I still got it…'_ The pink haired girl mentally chuckled.

Even though he didn't visibly show it, the ANBU himself had to take a few moments to shake himself of the surprise and intent the girl had displayed. Looking at her carefully as she winced at the pain originating in her back, she'd obviously putting too much stress on her body. "I must give you my thanks, Haruno-san…" He said. "… Though it was unnecessary, and it appears you have agitated your wounds…"

"Humph…" Sakura grumbled. "I'd rather be in this pain than be embarrassed with the sight of you losing a wrestling match to an injured girl." The ANBU shifted uncomfortably in place before he noticed the girl making notions for him to come closer. "Her muscles are overextending themselves with each movement she makes. It's not that she's stronger, it's that she's using more of her muscle strength than a normal human can. It's like she has her first Inner Gate halfway open, but she doesn't even realize it. Be sure that she doesn't try this again, or she really could do permanent damage to herself…"

The ANBU was glad he had his mask on to hide his look of surprise at how quickly the girl diagnosed what was wrong with his charge. Even if she was a prodigy of sorts, this show of medical talent from a 13 year old of all things was simply astounding. Hell, the way she carried herself and how she talked almost suggested she was at least a few years older than she really was. "I… see. Waltz-sama did order me to try and prevent her from any strenuous activities when possible, but I was really only tasked with making sure that she didn't try and escape and that no one with permission could see her…"

"I see…" The girl mused as she glanced back into the room to see Kin giving her a calculating look. "Can I ask you a favor? Can you ask Waltz-sensei to give me permission to check up on her from time to time? I've studied under him and Hana-sensei…" ' _And Tsunade-sensei…'_ She mentally added. "For a while now, so I'm very confident in my medical skills. I also think that she would be more manageable if she had someone to talk to around her own age instead of just waiting day after day… god knows how tired I am of it…" She grunted and rolled her eyes, displaying how much she hated staying still. "Anyways, if I do that, it should at least put a cap on her misbehavior. For some strange reason, I have the distinct feeling that this isn't the first time she's tried something like this…"

The ANBU remained quiet for several minutes as he contemplated Sakura's proposal. True, what she was proposing was a bit unorthodox, but given that they were shinobi, such things were not uncommon. Plus, he was getting a bit tired of actually having to strain himself to pin a young teenager in a contest of raw strength. "I will… forward this proposal through the correct channels, Haruno-san, but the final decision is up to Hokage-sama and Waltz-sama."

Sakura shrugged, before wincing and remembering that those particular muscles were not completely healed yet. "Ow. Freaking… yeah, sure. I would be surprised if you had to do it any other way. Just make sure to let me know as soon as it goes through, okay? We're both bored out of our minds here, and girls need to talk after all…"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"Bee, we need to talk. Now." Yugito said firmly to the Raikage's brother as soon as his students left the customized karaoke bar. The woman was somewhat relieved when she had found out that the man was in the music den. Because Bee's personal custom rooms were made so that none of his… music… ever reached outside ears, it not only made them the perfect places for private conversations, but even with the room's supposed inability to let sound out, Bee's presence ENSURED that no one would be even willing to try and listen in on the conversations in there.

"What ho, Yugito?" Bee asked curiously, still rhyming badly enough to cause Nibi inside her to wince.

"I need you to take me to the Island soon to train me to control Nibi's full power." Yugito said firmly. "Things are going to get rough for us very soon and I don't feel like getting killed." ' _Again.'_

Bee frowned and crossed his arms. "That's a big fava you're askin' from me, sista. What caused you to do a mental 180 and turn go all scaredy?"

The jinchūriki sighed, knowing that what she was going to talk about next was going to make things very interesting. "Is Hachibi listening?"

The dark man nodded. "No problem there, but why do you need his ear?"

The woman's eyes flashed. "I met the Sky Mother… Zuzushi…"

Bee instantly reeled back and grabbed his head. "Ugh! Damn it you clown! Calm the fuck down!"

Rolling her eyes and seeing that she wasn't going to get anything done this way, Yugito grabbed onto her friend's shoulder and dragged them all into a single mind space, complete with the 2 and 8 tailed beasts standing opposite of each other. "There, now we can talk without any annoying interruptions…"

" **Annoying interruptions my tentacled ass, girl!"** Hachibi roared angrily. **"Do you know what happens to those who use the Sky Mother's name freely like that?"**

" **It's true, Hachibi…"** The Nibi growled irritably, her flame like fur dancing wildly around her. **"We saw the Sky Mother herself. She is residing in Konoha, and her kin are training the container of Kyūbi. While we were there, we also came across Ichibi, Yonbi, and Nanabi, as well as their containers. There is much we need to discuss… our kind are being hunted…"**

"So? We can just talk to bro for the backup smackup." Bee snorted. "If anybody's gonna hate, they're gonna have to deal with the killer 8…"

"And win." Yugito growled. "Just like they did last time if we think of our opponents like that."

"Hu **h?"** Bee and Hachibi asked at once.

" **One of the Sky Mother's retainers has turned back time…"** Nibi explained. **"Apparently when he did, the group hunting us had just about finished sealing Kyūbi… the last of us. Kitten here has regained her memories from that time just recently, and after looking through them, I agree that these opponents are not to be taken lightly. Supposedly, there are many in this organization that are strong enough to fight against your brother on even ground, and I do not doubt the sources…"**

Yugito pulled back her sleeve to show a tattoo with the numbers 1, 2, 4, 7 and 9 on there in order, with appropriate spacing in between for the missing numbers. "I got this after the meeting we had. It warns us when another with the tattoo is in danger of having their beast removed and gives the general direction of where they are. I'm supposed to add you into the group by swapping a little blood with you, and then everyone should know that you're in.

" **Wait just a minute, damn it!"** Hachibi roared. **"You mean to tell me that not only is some idiot actually trying to bring back the Jūbi of all things, but that the Sky Mother herself, THE Elder Goddess of Creation is backing us up? That is a fairy tale if I've ever heard one! She is a far away legend, even by OUR standards, for Kami's sake!"**

"Fiery eyes that yield to no one, and a blinding hide that shows no impurities…" Yugito started, describing the dragon that she had seen. "Both of which paled to the presence of a being that no person could possibly begin to comprehend or try and put into words. That is the possibly the only way to describe that dragon, and her container fits that description just as well…" She momentarily shuddered as she remembered being pulled into the woman's mindscape and realizing just why Zuzushi was called the Sky Mother in the first place. "Trust us guys, we met the real deal, and if it's a fake, then it's a damn good one…"

"This isn't fine… I died last time?" Bee asked darkly.

"Apparently." Yugito confirmed. "But not before me. I was taken out by an immortal religious freak and a monster that used tentacles to steal other people's hearts as well as used high level jutsu of all the basic types. You, on the other hand, were supposedly beaten by an emo teenage Uchiha, but from what they were saying, they managed to prevent whatever permanently fucked him up in the head early on, and so he's on our side now…" Several files materialized in front of Yugito. "This is all the info they gave us on the enemy. Some are more detailed than others, but the bottom line is be fucking careful of all of them. I've heard that at least 4 of the current members are capable of taking you out hands down."

"So even I kicked the can… what's our current plan?" The rapper asked curiously as the files went in front of him before disappearing. He whistled, obviously impressed. "Careful not to choke… these guys are no joke…" He muttered to himself. "Still, without bro's permission, I can't go anywhere, you know that. If I did, he would pull out his hair… then try and kill me with a baseball bat…"

"Right now the plan is to train, hard." Yugito said firmly, ignoring her friend's horrible lyrics. "I've never had a complete grasp on Nibi's chakra, so I want to start there. The meeting with Zuzushi has also… compelled her to be somewhat more cooperative, so I should be able to finish my training this time. You should brush up on your jutsu, too. Your swordplay is second to none, but you still don't have much when it comes to mid- and long-range combat without using Hachibi's power."

Bee crossed his arms and frowned. "No mean to diss, but why not tell bro about this? If things are gonna get wild, it should be right up his style…"

Yugito shook her head. "Like I said, this is our second time through. We're trying not to change much just yet so that we can still be able to predict their later movements somewhat. They're going to start moving in about 3 years, and we want to make sure that it stays that way. Too long and we could let our guard down, too short and we could not be strong enough when the time comes. If we tell your brother about this, you know he'll just go on a giant crusade against them and possibly end up starting the Fourth Great Shinobi War in the process, and like I said before, the Sky Mother herself and her retainers are living in Konoha, so we effectively have no chance if we end up fighting them…"

Hachibi turned to Nibi and began to whisper to her. **"Are the rumors true about Zuzushi's retainers… that one of them is actually…"**

Nibi shook her head and snarled. **"Do you honestly think I would ask that question if it was true?"**

"Oi big snout! The hell you and Nibi talking about?" Bee asked curiously.

Hachibi shook his head. **"Nothing. Just talking about giant chakra monster related stuff…"**

"Whatever…" Yugito sighed. She never really knew much about giant monster mythology, or cared really. Having an egotistical cat in her head was already bad enough. "Anyways, Bee. You saw Karui's new sword, right?"

The man's personality took a higher beat. "Did I? Nii, I gotta tell you, that blade was _damn_ fly. Whoever made it knew his thing. I'm planning to ask bro to give this guy's place a swing."

The woman smirked. "Good, 'cause it was made by one of Zuzushi's retainers. It'll give you a good look at some of your allies and you can check that I wasn't lying about this whole mess."

"Fuck!" Bee swore, not bothering to rhyme this time.

" **If memory serves, it was the same one who accidentally landed on you while you were taking one of your naps, and led the shinobi here on a chase around the village 5 times over before losing them with ease…"** Nibi smirked, showing off her long teeth.

"You just won yourself a cage filled with giant copies of the Daimyō's wife's dog later…" Yugito growled, knowing that the monster hated the existence of that wretched beast. It was your standard Chihuahua type of dog, but like many of the other animals in the world, it had undergone some sort of mass growth and was the size of an Irish Wolfhound, and its size was unfortunately matched by its attitude and ferocity. (A/N: If you don't know what that breed looks like, look it up. The things are FUCKING HUGE.) It was said that only the Fire Daimyō's wife's cat could best it in a contest of feral rage and uncontrolled chaos. "Anyways, we're in no rush yet, but I'd like to get a hang of Nibi's powers as soon as possible. If you do go to Konoha first, don't do anything too stupid… like try and talk to the Hyūga. In the meantime, I'll brush up on the techniques I learned and get my body back to that shape, and then I'll get stronger than that."

"Hold on…" Bee said suddenly and pointed to the tailed beasts there. "If you're so scared of this Sky Mother, shouldn't she be able to solve our problem like no other?"

Yugito shook her head and sighed. "You don't get it, do you? They're simply helping us out and watching the show. They're doing this because apparently, this is interesting to watch for them. The most we might get is a small amount of backup, but other than that, we're dealing with our problems on our own. They'll train us, they'll give us info, they'll set us up with contacts and plans, but when the real fighting happens, we're on our own."

Bee frowned. "Are you trying to say that to them this is just one big play? Please don't tell me that we are the same to them as some lame game."

Yugito shrugged. "Who knows? All they said is that it's our problem and we have to deal with it. They're just helping us out a little bit to make things more interesting to them. Honestly, as long as they're on our side, I don't care."

"And what will they do for fun when everything's set and done? I'm not a Muppet, I refuse to be lead along my entire life like a puppet." He continued.

She sighed. "Personally, I don't know. Odds are they'll just stay in Konoha and screw with their heads. They seem to like it there, and they claimed that they get far less annoying guests here than in their previous homes… whatever that means. Pretty much whatever happens after this is done is up to us."

"So after we're done doin' what they say and stick to the play, we can go all wild an' start freestylin'? Sounds good to me." Bee nodded his head. "Since all the talkin' is done here, Cat, let's get outta here so you can give me that tat'."

o. o. o.

Konoha:

(A/N: Yeah, even though this is a funny story, this next part gets pretty sad and depressing, just fair warning. Also as a side note, the song Saviour by Rise Against matches uncomfortably well with the sad part of this story for some reason, even though it's a very upbeat song.)

Hana and Anko grimaced and looked nervously at each other as they walked up to the front door of the Ōgakari clan compound. It was partially due to the fact that they knew they were somewhat responsible for what happened, partially because they didn't know how the clan would respond to their appearance, and partially because they were worried about how Ghost was acting due to the incident…

But at the moment, it was mostly because there were many noticeable sporadic tremors travelling through the ground, making it seem as if a war or a tailed beast was nearby. The triplets were all shivering uncontrollably, despite the training they'd had to control their animal instincts and ignore their responses to run at times like these, and they all smelled the unparalleled sources of chakra nearby.

"Well…" Anko started, looking at Hana as they stopped in front of the door.

"Well, what?" Hana replied with a small stutter.

"Don't 'well, what' me. Your mom was the one who caused this mess, so you have to knock on the door. In the meantime…" The Snake Mistress started to walk to the side of the entrance so she wasn't in front of it. "… I'll be watching out of the direct line of fire…"

Before Hana could say anything in protest, the triplets had assumed their position behind Anko and made it apparent that they weren't moving until they were given the safe sign. "Traitors…" The heiress growled before taking in a deep breath and going for the door, momentarily stumbling as a large tremor made itself known, and knocking on the door.

"I thought I told you already!" Groaned the deep and familiar voice of Waltz from the inside of the house. "We're doing some extensive construction underground! We'll be done at the latest by tomorrow…" He opened the door to see Hana trying to shrink her head into her vest. "… morning." He sighed before sticking his head out of the door and looked at a sheepish Anko and the still on edge triplets before backing up and opening the door more. "Come on in." He said in a defeated tone and turned his back to them. "I have a feeling that our conversation is going to take a while…" The females didn't say anything as they quickly followed him in and closed the door behind them.

"He isn't taking what happened earlier that well… is he?" Anko asked nervously as another tremor shook the house.

"That?" Waltz mused as he walked to the kitchen, unfazed by the shaking. "Well, actually they wouldn't be that bad, but if we left him alone like this, he would be at it for at least a week before calming down, so Shadow and Zuzushi are down there… relieving him of some of his pent up stress. Coffee or tea?"

"Coffee." Anko said in a bewildered tone.

"Tea, please. Why aren't you down there?" Hana asked curiously.

"Because I didn't lose the game of Janken." Waltz answered simply as he prepared the drinks, causing the women to sweat drop. "Scab is out of the village and Crypt is busy finishing up a seal that we're going to be using soon, and we still need someone to keep people away from the house with the shockwaves of their fight getting out, so it was either her or me. Be thankful I won. Shadow's excuses are nowhere as believable as mine, and if I was fighting in her stead, the effects done to the area would be more… noticeable…" He sighed. "So how much do you two know about what happened this morning?"

Anko shrugged. "I didn't know anything happened until a couple of hours ago when Hana came to my apartment and started to bawl about how Tsume royally fucked things up, mentioning… well, whoever it was Ghost dated before us. After I got over my initial shock, I spent the rest of the time calming Hana down enough to get us here. The small earthquakes aren't really doing much for our self-esteem at the moment."

"What happened to them?" Hana asked quietly, causing Waltz to momentarily freeze. "To Ghost and… her. I care about him a lot… but he also broke 4 of my mother's ribs. I want to know what caused him to act that way before I think of what to do next… please…"

The old man suddenly looked even older as he looked down and placed the wide bottom cups on the table in front of him. "… I really do dislike telling this story." He grumbled to himself before continuing on making the drinks. "You know that our family is, for lack of a better term, immortal, right? That all of us are around 2500 years old, give or take?" He asked.

"More or less." Anko replied. "Ghost seemed to hate it though."

"For damn good reason, too…" The old man muttered to himself before continuing on. "Tell me, how many wives do you think Ghost has had over the course of his life? Think in perspective on how long a normal married couple lives before you answer."

Hana thought to herself about that question. Normal humans live around 60-80 years old and tend get married at around their mid 20's to 30's, so about 40 years are spent being married if they don't seperate. Being that Ghost was actually a pretty good guy and would probably wait a good amount of time before moving onto the next wife, she would guess he would get married every 100 years or so. "I dunno… around 25?" She asked.

Waltz shook his head and held out an open hand, shocking the two women.

"5?" Anko said disbelievingly. "He's that old, perverted, and cocky, and has had only 5 wives the entire time?"

Waltz nodded as he brought them their drinks, making sure that they didn't spill when another tremor came up. "Family… is very important to us… more so to Ghost. For every wife he has had, he has watched over his descendants for around 15 generations, or for about 400-500 years, not once remarrying during that time because he feels that he would be betraying the one he had spent all that time with in the first place. He wouldn't spend the entire time looking after them, heaven forbid we ever become that insane, but he would keep track of them, guide them occasionally from the sidelines if they needed help, and step in directly if something large was amiss." He looked to the stairs to the basement. "There is a special room that serves as a sort of portal to a private cemetery where it has the pictures and names of all his children and grandchildren and so on, so he would never have to strain to remember them…" Waltz paused before smirking a small amount. "… He also has a large television and a hammock set up there because he claimed that none of his wives or kids would actually blame him for doing so and they would enjoy listening to the new movies every once in a while, but we know it's really so he can never complain about being bored while visiting their grave markers."

"That sounds like something he would do…" Anko laughed lightly as she drank her coffee. "But what does that have to do with the last one?"

Waltz shifted in his seat uncomfortably. "I explained this because I wanted you to get a good idea of how devoted he is to those he entrusts his heart to." He sighed. "You see, Ghost's form of immortality is… different from the rest of the family's." He pointed to the bottom of his coat where the dark blue flames licked his legs. "There is actually a reason why we have these fire designs on our coats." He explained as he reached out a hand and conjured a stone blue flame in his hand, surprising the women. The tongues of flame acted differently than a normal fire, as they appeared thicker than gas and flowed more like water, giving it an almost alien appearance. "When we first were… employed by Zuzushi, she gave us one wish… one desire split between us four men before Shadow was turned into the next container. Ghost at the time was…" He grimaced, clearly not wanting to think about their situation those many years ago. "…not exactly in a condition to speak. Well, none of us were, to be honest, but Ghost much more so. We were quite surprised when he voiced his thoughts before the rest of us had finalized our own." He closed his eyes as he remembered that scene as if it had happened mere hours ago. "If we're going to be your puppets for thousands of years, then we should at least take something from you to make the deal even, he said. What we will get from you is something that you no doubt treasure above anything us mortals can make. Give us your fire, dragon lady, and we will serve your purpose until you desire to move on…"

Hana and Anko's eyes widened in shock as they tried to remember if they had seen Zuzushi actually breathe fire since they had seen her. Neither of them came up with one instance.

Waltz continued. "When we call Zuzushi a demon dragon goddess thing, it is in direct relation to her grandparents, each of which was apparently at least as legendary as Zuzushi herself in her… home. Her great white fire was extraordinarily powerful in any regard, but when it was split between the 4 of us, we discovered that it was actually a muddled combination of the essences of those 4 entities and we had each received a purified portion of one of them." He chuckled. "Even the great lizard herself didn't know that about her fire until she had already given it to us." The blue fire danced around his fingertips. "My fire originated from her godly grandsire. Stability, calming, firm, and pure. When I actually use it, the quality of my chakra is raised to unparalleled levels, yet my control never wavers. Scabbard's fire is from the unknown grandsire. Unlimited possibilities lie within that flame, and thus it has the most potential power out of all of us, but from what he has told me, it is rather difficult to control finely. Crypt possesses the fire of the demon grandsire… obviously. Constantly hungry and searching for nutrition and a challenge, it is almost like a living entity and though it acts similar to a normal fire, the damage it can do is just as potent as our own…"

"So Ghost got the fire of the dragon grandsire?" Hana asked nervously, not liking the depressed look that Waltz had on his face.

"Zuzushi's dragon grandsire was… an interesting case." The man stated. "It was said that he was the original dragon-like entity to ever exist, and likewise possessed the original fire to ever exist, a fire so potent that it could only actually burn one thing… time."

"T-time?" Anko repeated, not liking at all where this was going.

"To be more exact, the fabric of time and space." Waltz confirmed. "Considering that just mixing his fire with the other grandsire's powers transformed them into a fire like state, I'm willing to believe the rumors about its potency." He stretched his back and rested in the couch again with a defeated look. "I have heard that you saw one of Ghost's feedback moments, correct?" The girls nodded, both scared at this point. "Did you notice how that every time he died, his body would burst into flame and he would come back normal? That is the fire's power; to destroy events, to literally make nothing happen and make things simply go away…" He paused as the words sunk into the girl's heads. "…And when it comes to his death… it acts completely automatically."

Anko paused for a moment before looking at the old man carefully. "Whoa, hold on. Are you saying that Ghost can die… but he can't STAY dead?"

Waltz nodded. "That's exactly his case. While the rest of us can die if we get hit with something big enough… though to be honest, it's somewhat hard to find something that fits those qualifications… Ghost's condition prevents that simply because he will just come back. Even if his body is completely destroyed, the fire will still spark up in the middle of where he once was or the nearest suitable location and brings him back. He calls his condition 'eternal' instead of 'immortal', since he considers the latter a deathless existence that has more loopholes to get around… the problem is that loopholes for Ghost's condition are much more difficult to find… and before you ask, he can't simply burn through time to when he got the flames in the first place and choose something else. Time paradoxes with the means of travel as one of the main subjects of change never end well." He looked at the shocked women with tired eyes. "Humans were not meant to be immortal, girls. We have built in limits, and we get tired. Believe it or not, death is a gift, otherwise life would be meaningless. All of us grew tired of life centuries ago… which is why family is so important to us. It's one of the few things that actually keep us going…" The old man sighed as he took out a photo album and opened it. "… And then came Sasha…" He said sadly, looking at a picture in particular before showing it to the woman there.

The photo that stood out to them was a picture of an extremely happy Ghost with his arms around a beautiful brunette who had the same smile on her face at a beach. "They look… happy…" Hana said sadly as she continued looking at the pictures. In true Ōgakari fashion, the next photo showed the two in the picture, but with another rather attractive woman in a rather skimpy bathing suit walking past behind them and Ghost ogling her and drooling at the same time. Then in the next photo showed the man in a fetal position facing the ocean and blood in the sand next to his head while Sasha held her fist up with a tick mark on her head. Other pictures showed that she apparently participated in the family's random chases through populated areas, both with and without bizarre clothing. She obviously got along well with all the psychos in the family. Strangely, many of the photos that they saw had her holding a massive hammer over her head when she chased various family members…

Anko snorted. "At least we know he's consistent." She looked up at Waltz. "What happened?"

Waltz looked down sadly as he always hated getting to this part the most. "… Well, we all knew of Ghost's condition for many, many years by the time Sasha had joined us, and we had tried various ways to either… well, kill Ghost permanently, or more logically somehow extract the fire from his body, which is obviously exceptionally hard to do safely since it is rumored to be capable of destroying all of creation and the creators themselves. Without the other powers mixing with it, Zuzushi couldn't reabsorb it, and to be honest, they have been with us for so long that they wouldn't mix the way they originally did in the first place either. That being the case, when we didn't have a lead to follow, we attempted to find a way to give a person longevity…" He noticed the look in Anko's eyes. "Not immortality, we were just trying to find a way to extend a person's life to about a few hundred years, a millennium tops. It was so that we could make our current existences…" He tried to find the right words to use. "…More tolerable. We had all made headway in multiple areas on our own. We knew of other methods and people, of course, but all of them involved some sort of sacrifice or curse that came along with the extended life span, so we ignored them. Our own immortality came with sacrifices. I am unable to control my age, Scab lost his leg, Crypt lost a good portion of his sanity, and Ghost his sight. Shadow got off only because her body was conditioned for several hundred years to be able to hold Zuzushi's power…" He took out a bottle of water and drank from it. "We, of course, never actually attempted to test our results on live human subjects, but we were still very confident in them regardless… it was at this point where Sasha found out about our exploits… and reasons… and asked us to test them on her…" He chuckled dryly to himself. "Honestly, that woman was as stubborn as they came when she found something she wanted…"

Both Hana and Anko paled dramatically. "Oh no…" Hana whispered to herself. "You didn't…"

Waltz sighed. "At first we had flat out said no, even Ghost, who loved her like no other. We didn't want to risk putting someone we all cared about so much through the tortures that we went through, plus anything else she could experience that we missed preventing. We knew we were good, but even Scabbard would never say that he had thought of everything when dealing with this subject." He rubbed his forehead, once again ignoring the increasing tremors shaking the house. "… She kept at it for years, even helping out with our research on occasion, slowly wearing even us down until slowly all of us, with Ghost being the last, of course, relented… she was 31 when we first started to work on her…"

"It didn't work, did it?" Anko muttered darkly.

"Worse." Waltz growled. "It did. That photo at the beach was when she was 163 years old. The process oddly enough made it so that her physical appearance never let her age a day past 26."

The two girls gaped as they looked at the picture again in disbelief. "WHAT?" They shouted in unison. "How is that a bad thing?" Anko shouted in a daze. "You'd be rich if you could turn what you did to her into some kind of face cream!"

"Because it forced our guard down and gave us a sense of relief… of hope, that we wouldn't have to suffer like this alone anymore…" He muttered more to himself than the two girls, who immediately knew the story was going to hit rock bottom soon. "Shortly after Sasha turned 270, we noticed that she would occasionally have lapses in her memory, forget where things were, names of people she should know instantly. We initially brushed it off, thinking at the time that we'd partied too hard the night before or something like that… but it got progressively worse as she got older, and her personality suffered as well. Dementia, shorter temper, paranoia, inability to focus on anything for more than a few seconds… the only thing more painful than watching her slowly fall apart was watching Ghost's reaction to it. He would spend weeks at her side without eating or drinking so that she wouldn't forget his face or name. To him, it was if everything he had placed his hope in in his life was slowly falling apart in his hands and every attempt he made to fix it resulted in nothing. Scab was in charge of Sasha's brain development and protection, making sure that the right information was staying and anything unnecessary was dumped, since the human mind has a limited amount of space… but even he, who has the greatest knowledge of how a brain works out of anyone we knew, didn't know what the hell was going on. He described it as if the wires in Sasha's brain were purposefully crossing themselves like it was what her brain cells were supposed to be doing, and there was nothing any of us could do about it… and worst of all, we were technically the ones who did it to her in the first place."

"You said that Ghost's fire could erase time…" Anko said slowly, trying to blink back her tears. "Why couldn't he use that on her?"

He shook his head. "When used on individual living beings other than Ghost, the black fire acts slightly differently. It takes away memories as well if used on their entire being. Sometimes, their entire memory could go away. It's fine if used to remove wounds or a death, though that one he almost never uses even on people he likes, or for example if he wanted to set a world back to a specific date, but there was too much at risk if it were used to, say, change a single person's body so that they were younger again. Also, as you might be wondering, when the fire removes an instance of death, the potential energy released from that event is captured again and solidified into a single chain link, though depending on who you are and your position when the fire happened, the link might be locked away until released with an exceptionally powerful flux of the individual's time space. There's a lot of rules and stipulations involved in using the links, but it would take too long to go over them. Back to Sasha, he just couldn't risk using it on her since it could have prevented the thing we needed to cure her condition in the first place, and because it might result in a complete case of irreversible amnesia."

The old man swallowed dryly as he finished up his story. "She was about 300 when we all had to admit that she was gone. Her motor functions were all but shot, her vocabulary ranged at times from an infant's to an old woman's, and she couldn't remember talking to anyone she had met 5 minutes beforehand. We had… decided to stop giving her the treatment for prolonging her life. That night Ghost went to… visit her again. He was trying to keep a smile on his face, but we all knew he was shattered on the inside." A tear fell down the old man's face. "We had a surveillance camera set up in the room at the time so we saw what happened. He had started to cry, apologizing over and over for what she had become… when she turned her head to him and touched his head with her skinny hand…"

Waltz sniffed. "May you never hear another voice but mine. May you never feel another's embrace but mine. May all your days be filled with thoughts of what you have done to me… may you live for all eternity." He recited, causing the two girls in front of him to lose control of their breath. "… Those were Sasha's last words, and they, for lack of a better word, broke Ghost completely. Immediately after hearing them, he flooded the room with his fire, erasing everything in it… and pretty much the entire castle we were borrowing, from existence and collapsing on the ground in tears…. I had never at any point in my life seen Ghost actually lose hope for himself until then, that there wasn't some way out there that would finally let him rest or at least not live the way he currently did forever. Even when he had lost control of himself in previous situations, he had bounced back almost instantly after a good beating or an embarrassing joke, but this…"

Waltz trailed off, waving his hand like he was trying to pluck the right words out of the air. "This… changed him. He became suicidal… well, technically MORE suicidal, since we were already looking for a way to permanently kill him in the first place, but he became impatient with the task. Before, we were just looking for the right way to deal with his powers and in the meantime, the only time he would actually die is when we had a stupid accident or during our feedbacks. Afterwards, it wasn't uncommon to see him throwing himself in harm's way every chance he got, dying in hundreds of different scenarios in the hope that one of them was the 'right' way for him to make it permanent. What made things worse was that almost every time he slept, his last moments with Sasha would be played again repeatedly until he woke up. He suffered from a heavy case of insomnia for a while." He sighed again, trying not to take notice of the uncontrolled tears that were coming down Hana's and Anko's faces.

"This all happened about 400 years ago. He and Sasha never had any children after the beginning of their marriage to prevent any awkward situations coming up, such as full blooded siblings that are over 100 years apart in age difference, so after a small amount of time, he finished following and keeping tabs on his descendants. Ghost hasn't been in anything that resembled a close relationship since, 'til we saw him with you two, which surprised us greatly. It took us almost half a century to get him even remotely back to normal, and even though he's a pretty much back to his normal self now, you would be able to tell something's missing if you compared him now to how he used to be. He still gets the dreams from time to time, though nowhere near as frequently as they used to. It's why he has Scab supply him with pills to make his sleep dreamless, though they don't work all the time. Still, with Tsume's recent actions, they are no doubt going to come back full swing for the next few weeks…!"

The house suddenly began to shake more violently than it did before. The people in the house could hear countless rapid individual explosions from below the building, and muffled but distinct roars of rage and defiance over the deafening sounds. "What the hell is happening?!" Hana shouted as she gripped her chair so she wouldn't fall off.

"Ghost and Shadow are finishing their fight!" Waltz yelled so he could be heard. "It should be okay to see him after it calms down here!"

"See him?" Anko roared disbelievingly as an exceptionally large rumble jarred the house, breaking some windows in the process. "The house will break down on top of our heads by the time this stops!"

"That would be the case if I was fighting! But since it's Shadow, the odds of the house going down are only 50/50!" The old man corrected. "In hind sight, we really should have had Crypt finish all those security, privacy, and enforcement seals on the inside of the house!"

"Oh, that makes us feel SO much more secure!" Hana growled sarcastically before she dodged a flying drinking glass. Just as the women began to think that the rumbling would never end, the tremors slowly calmed down, allowing the group to breathe in peace. "Hah… hah…" Hana gasped. "That was unreal…"

"You're telling me." Groaned Anko before she sniggered weakly. "… Think we can get him to have that kind of power for our nighttime activities once this thing blows over?"

Hana blinked at the snake summoner disbelievingly. "After what we just heard, you're still thinking of stuff like that? Seriously, I think there's something wrong with -wha?" She was cut short as Waltz grabbed her roughly and dragged her to where Anko was.

"Pups!" He roared, taking out a scroll without hesitation. "Get over here, NOW!" The triplets didn't hesitate to move towards the suddenly serious man as they too sensed what was about to happen as a large amount of water came from the seal and surrounded the group, solidifying into a dome of crystal blue hexagon plates.

"What the heck?" Anko mused to herself. "What the hell was that for, old ma-!"

Anko was cut off short when she got her answer in the form of a massive tremor jarring her senseless, accompanied by two enormous monster battle cries. Hana and Anko minds immediately went back to the day they first met Ghost in the Forest of Death and heard his cry of pain. The sound was dulled significantly due to where it was coming from, but regardless, it was unmistakable and beyond humbling. Several floorboards and tiles cracked under the sound wave's pressure, and what glasses and dishes that hadn't broken in the chaos before exploded all at once. The flying shrapnel then broke into smaller pieces as they hit the wall, floor, or Waltz's barrier at bizarre speeds.

Soon enough though, the unreal shaking resided, leaving an eerie calm in the slightly damaged home. "Hmmm… Scab is going to blame this on us when he gets back…" Waltz mused as the dome turned into water again and went into the scroll. "… Gotta find a way to pin it on one of the others so I don't get stuck with the bill…"

"Holy crap…" Anko breathed out. "The fighting was all the way down THERE and we still got hit that hard? You guys are freaking monsters!"

"Why, thank you." The man replied, interpreting the comment as a compliment. "Since the fighting is obviously done now, I think it would be best to go down and check up on the two. I'm rather concerned about Shadow's current state…"

"Um, shouldn't you be more worried about Ghost?" Hana asked curiously. "And how can you tell that the fighting is over when the shaking has only just stopped?"

The old man deadpanned as he looked at the girl. "You don't read that many comics, do you? Large scale fights between extraordinarily powerful individuals normally end with a clash of unbelievably strong attacks that either wipe out one of the fighters, or cancel each other out, leaving one of them open to be sneak attacked by the other, and always leave both fighters low on energy. It's standard protocol…" He continued to grumble to himself about young people not knowing obvious things like that as he opened the door, apparently ignoring the disbelieving looks the women were giving him. "As for Ghost's condition, physically I have little doubt he won that fight, but mentally… I'm leaving him to you. The most you will see is that his clothes are battered and he has a bruise or two, but that will be it as far as his injuries go…" The old man stopped talking at the entrance to the basement when he heard something.

Hana stared at the man disbelievingly. "You expect me to actually BELIEVE that you follow those rules?"

Waltz rolled his eyes. "Of course not, but what makes you think that those two don't?"

Cue massive sweatdrop.

Thump… thump, thump…

Uneven steps of someone approaching them were heard, causing those there to pause and wait anxiously. Waltz sighed. Tired but undisturbed, unlike his companions, he stuck his head into the doorway. "I don't have to try and bring Shadow back from the dead again, do I?"

Ragged breathing and chuckling were heard from the darkness as the steps were made up the stairs. "Don't worry, she had a handicap, old man… and the lizard was backing her up… they lasted a while…" Ghost's tired breath wheezed out. "My shoulders… never healed all the way… so it was a pretty even match for a while. She's still… in the room, lying on the ground, beaten senseless. Be careful with your footing… on the boulders we kicked up. Wouldn't want you to…*grunt* throw out your back now…"

Waltz sighed. "You know, you almost overdid it with the ending there. For a moment, I almost suspected you two did go all out from the way the house was shaking."

There was a pause before calm voice chuckled again. "Oh, right, Crypt never finished putting up the buffer and security seals. Nah, we only went to Tier 1 at the most, but I admit I did push myself to the limits this time… I might have gone a bit overboard on the midget…" A hunched over outline slowly limped up the stairs. "Hey old man, is someone there with you? You know how fucked up my senses become after a brawl like that… I can't detect shit other than knowing where to walk and if anything with stupid reserves is nearby… man, my head is fucking killing me… and I can't even freaking sleep well after a fight that good… bloody hell…"

Hana and Anko's eyes widened as his body stepped into better lighting, showing the real condition of Ghost's person. His entire top half was laid bare for everyone to see, not only revealing the caved in portion of his chest, but the deep gouges on both his sides, both still bleeding, as well as the numerous scratches on his arms and back. His head was drenched in sweat and his hair, which was normally tied back into a stylish ponytail, was spread out over his body. His glasses were long gone, showing that the man naturally walked around with his odd eyes slightly more than half open, giving him an aware, but distant look. Every breath he took let loose some more blood from his mouth, as Hana had no doubt that some of his ribs were broken from the bruises she saw, and at least one of them had grazed a lung. Both arms hung nearly lifelessly at his side, both a rainbow of colors between dark purple and bright red from his shoulders to his shaking and bleeding hands. Around his waist was his trashed trench coat, making it almost look like a waist cape. His waist and legs were also letting out small rivers of blood as he leaned on one side of the stairs on the wall, leaving a long smear of blood to show where he had been. To be honest, Anko had done similar damage to him frequently whenever he had fooled around, but the air around him was different this time. Even in the state he was currently in, the women could tell that it would take something impressive in order to actually add to his list of wounds.

"So I'm guessing you want me to heal everything?" Waltz asked in a tired tone.

"Nah." Ghost replied dryly. "Just fix the worst of it and bring my arms back to the condition they were this morning before this whole fiasco started. I'll let time deal with the rest of these scratches. Besides, midget is way worse off than I am…"

"So you're just waiting for Hana to kiss your boo-boos then?" The old man chuckled in an amused tone, glancing at the nervous girl.

"If she isn't pissed that I beat the shit out of Tsume…" He grumbled as he slowly approached their level. "Honestly, that woman has some anger management issues… well, Anko does too, but at least SHE doesn't rub sensitive past events in people's faces… well… when she's off the clock…most of the time…"

"You're surprisingly upbeat." Waltz sighed as he got out of the man's way. "Normally you'd still be halfway willing to bite my head off by now… though I am also noting that you are far more injured than you normally would be from fighting Shadow…"

"Thank god for adrenaline highs and endorphins..." Ghost muttered sarcastically as he rolled his stitched eyes. "Give me a break, Gandalf, I was trying out some new tricks with shadow clones during the fight. Some worked, others didn't. The ones that didn't left me in this state, and it fucking hurts…"

Waltz frowned as he helped Ghost to a chair. "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"Dunno, you're the great wizard Dumbledore, you tell me." The blind man smirked before he was roughly dropped onto a couch that fortunately had no glass shards on it. "Ow! The fuck?"

"That's for calling me a gay old man that doesn't have the balls to speak up for himself and plays with twigs all the damn time…" Waltz grumbled as he walked back to the basement. "Hana and Anko can heal you. I'm going to start off with Shadow… and by the way, I told them about Sasha."

Ghost froze as the words registered in his head before he strained to increase the sensitivity of his Seventh Sense to almost normal levels again. "Well…" He mused, finally realizing he wasn't alone in the room. "This certainly qualifies as an awkward situation… thank god I'm hurting beyond known reason right now, otherwise I might actually be pissed off at you, old man…"

"You're welcome!" Said old man replied from the basement.

"Fucking robed fairy…" Ghost hissed as he winced in pain. "God damn it, this wouldn't suck so much if my arms weren't practically dead…" He paused as a calming sensation made itself known on two different parts of his body and his expression relaxed a small amount. "… I didn't think you would start healing me too, Anko…"

"… Just shut up and let us heal you, pervert…" The summoner grumbled as she took care of any wounds that she felt that she could take care of. "We'll let you know when you can talk again…"

"No safety word?" He chuckled dryly before he was poked in the broken ribs. "Gah!"

"No talking…" Hana grumbled as she continued to close off the deep gashes on one of his sides. "You've caused us enough headaches today as it is…"

The man paused before relaxing in the couch, slowly staining it with his blood. "… yeah… I tend to do that, I guess…" He said sadly.

Hana sighed as she got back to work on the man. Despite what she had assumed before, healing him was taking more out of her than she expected. There was a residual chakra in almost all the wounds he had that got in the way of her own chakra. "… Mom told me that you wanted to have the C.R.A. passed on your clan so that you could marry us without any problems…" She muttered out loud.

Anko faltered, since Hana hadn't told her about that just yet. "What? Y-You actually want t-to..." She stuttered, not knowing what to say.

Ghost chuckled, despite the fact that Anko had stumbled on one of the broken bones in his legs. "Really… it was so that we wouldn't have any problems if it came to choosing between the two of you… I've personally never really been in a situation like this myself. I've seen it happen a couple of times… but because of that, I know lots of bad things could happen if not taken care of properly… especially since you two are ninja… that I helped train."

He grinned. "Half the village would probably be wasted if you two fought all out to see who would get me… flattering as it may be…" The women frowned at the thoughts going through his head. "But it's really because I can't stand the thought of leaving either one of you… and it's been a long time since I felt that way about anyone other than my family… I don't want to let it go…" Their expressions softened until tears were on the verge of coming out. "… In the end though, it's up to you guys... I'm… obviously in no rush, and I don't want you two to feel that way either. Hana isn't even 20 yet, and Anko…" He paused as he tried to think of the correct way to say it without adding to the list of injuries he already had. "Well, I'd like you to think this one through for a while… the C.R.A. was just so that it wouldn't make things hard for all of us."

"You're not going to try and get hitched with more women if we say yes to try and get a harem, are you?" Anko asked with a small growl.

Ghost sighed. "Anko, I've been married before. I know how this works… and that being said, there is no way in the 23 hells of the multiverse that I'm going to get hitched to 3 or more women at once… I'm still somewhat trying to figure out how to deal with various situations if both of you say yes…" He started to sweat more. "Men don't know the horrors of being stuck with just one woman… yet they dream of hooking up with many…" He stopped and began to cough out more blood.

Hana rolled her eyes as she quickly switched over to his broken ribs, seeing as anything she could patch up would just open again if he kept on coughing like that. "Yeah, yeah, burden of the married man. Who hasn't heard that bull before…"

"Heheh… Ghost lost to the floor, huh?" Crypt chuckled as he walked down the stairs from his room again with a plate of prepared hot pockets balanced on his head.

"Huh?" Anko said blankly, trying to figure out what the man had just said and what he was doing… and failing miserably.

"Didn't you feel the floor's tummy grumble? It demands a big sacrifice!" He grinned as he walked down to the basement. "Once my rival is full, he can finally shut the fuck up and let me do my work again!"

Hana and Anko blinked, clearly not understanding what the hell Crypt just said. Ghost simply smirked. "Later, Crypt. Tell the floor I said hi."

"Mashed potato baseball card batteries!" The insane man responded.

"You know what?" Anko said in a dazed voice. "I think I'm just going to ignore what he says now…"

"Good! You're getting more like us already…" The injured man grinned, breathing easier since Hana had managed to fix his lungs, causing the girls to blush and sweatdrop at the same time. "… speaking of being one of us, Anko, can you answer the door when people come asking about the shaking we caused? Just tell them we were doing some training while Crypt was working on a big experimental seal at the same time. No one will ask any questions after that…"

o. o. o.

Down in the basement:

Waltz sighed as he walked into the room to see the damage Ghost and Shadow had done to the place. If a normal person were to describe what had happened there, they would have said that a war took place… and they would be somewhat right.

War was _really_ too small of a word to describe it, though…

There was not a single square meter of the room that did not have a deep gouge in it, or was part of some massive crater, or had large boulders that clearly weren't there before embedded there now. Turning to see the full scope of the area, the man could see the remains of multiple walls, each made of different compounds, all slashed to shrapnel sized bits as if they were cut by an unblockable blade. His keen eyes also saw interesting sections of the massive room where there were holes and divots in the ground that were unnaturally smooth, as if a massive sander had been used on the area when made…

None of the damage in front of him surprised the old man in the least as he walked towards where he sensed Shadow, glancing at each slash and crater he passed and figuring out who did it and at what angle it was done within half a second. It wasn't really that hard if you knew what to look for. Even though he didn't have his energy floating all over the place, Waltz was still well attuned to feeling energy signatures, so he wasn't surprised to find the young-appearing woman at the bottom of the largest crater, one whose diameter was easily at least half the length of the room, laying in a fairly sizeable pool of blood as well as some small boulders and dust. Her body was cut up so many times it was somewhat of a miracle that she still had her clothes on and looked reasonably clothed… well, if they weren't soaked in her blood, at least. One of her arms and legs were each broken cleanly, and some of the cuts in her were clearly deeper than others. Her skin was pale, but also scaled, showing that her hide was much tougher to get past than her current condition would indicate. Above her head, an almost equally cut-up Zuzushi, currently the size of a boss summon, lay in the blood, her wings torn in several places and more than a few sections of her hide missing completely. Judging from how much blood was coming out of the dragon's mouth, Waltz assumed that the puddle they were lying in was mostly hers. The thing to notice, however, was that the air was still incredibly thick with power.

"I'm surprised you managed to hit him that many times." The old man chuckled as he landed on top of the blood. "You three managed to shake the house up a fair amount…"

"Fuck… you…" The seemingly dead woman gasped out. "Hate… shadow clones… heal… now…"

" **How is he?"** Zuzushi whispered silently despite her huge size, looking at him with her pink eyes that now seemed to look like they were burning.

"Better than expected, actually." The old man sighed as his hands started to glow. "Hana and Anko really did have an effect on him…"

" **They are with him…"** The dragon stated, already knowing her favorite servant wasn't alone. **"Your thoughts?"**

Waltz smiled gently. "… I think our lives are going to be a bit more bearable for the next few decades…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

… yeah, I'm tired of writing about my OCs, too. Don't worry, the next chapter will be all about Naruto's group again, including chaos, foxy bits, family reunions, chaotic chases, and people being hurt for no good reason. Just think of this as my only attempt at anything deep and meaningful…

Recent chapters: good. Kishi finally got his act together, I've already thought of a way to fit them into the story, and Gai thinking that Kisame was his evil side was freaking hilarious.

Recent anime: … yeah…

Ok, actually interesting things: Starcraft 2… heheheh zergs…

I got some new fanart from nkauj ntxoo xyooj posted on my profile, and they are AWESOME! Best fanart I have gotten evar. Oh, and NorthSouth16, I never got the link for your fanart, blocks them in messages so you have to put in spaces in the link to trick the system. UNBLOCK THE PRIVATE MESSAGE ON YOUR PROFILE, DAMN YOU!

Anyways, about 3-4 more weeks till I'm in college again. Praise the Log, Review, build more pylons, and slap me upside the head for writing so god damn much about my OCs.


	50. Oh dear god, I've made 50 of these chapters and I'm still nowhere near the time skip…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 50: Oh dear god, I've made 50 of these chapters and I'm still nowhere near the time skip…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Main gate of Konoha:

"Hmm…" Naruto grumbled to himself as his home village came into view down the road. "You know, this trip seemed a lot longer the last time…"

"Nooo…" Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Was it because we didn't fight Orochimaru, or because you didn't have to go looking wildly for me for 2 weeks before you found out where I was? Maybe it was the fact that you only learned a A-ranked ninjutsu from the pervert instead of Rasengan while we were travelling and killing time…"

Jiraiya frowned. "Hey, don't underestimate Swamp of the Underworld. That technique's saved my ass loads of times, and with the kid's reserves, he could sink an entire city if he wanted to. Besides, he also spent a lot of time working on building bonds with the toads again and making that weird technique of his…" He looked at the grinning boy. "Even though it's useless unless your opponent's using wings to fly, I can see how it might help every now and then…"

"Hey, Naruto…" Gamakichi spoke up from on top of the boy's head. The two had gotten along almost instantly thanks to the blonde's higher intelligence and patience. So long as the boy still had food for the sons of Gamabunta, the two would stick around the boy and just hang out and goof off. They had somewhat of a close call when they thought it would be funny to have Gamatatsu sit in front of Shizune's face when she woke up, but they soon painfully learned why she was the only one needed to keep Tsunade in line for so many years. "You promised me and Gamatatsu snacks when we get back to Konoha. Dad's told us a lot of things about that place and we wanna check it out afterwards… though for some reason, he warned us against visiting the hot springs…"

Naruto and the women there deadpanned as they all glanced at a nervously chuckling Jiraiya, who was trying to play innocent. All of them recalled that for some 'odd' reason, frogs and all other amphibians were banned from Konoha's hot springs with unusual intensity, such that once in a while, a frog's body would be pinned to the walls next to the entrance of the female side of a hot spring.

"Figures…" Muttered Shizune.

"Pui…" Tonton nodded in agreement.

"Oi, is there something I missed going on here?" Gamakichi asked curiously.

Naruto sighed. "Let's just say that your dad's advice is well placed… and that it has to do with Ero-Sennin's hobbies…"

"The peeking one or the writing one?" The orange toad asked, causing all of them to sweat drop even more.

"Take a wild guess." Tsunade growled while glaring at the now scared for his life sage.

"H-hey now. Come on…" The white-haired man tried to laugh. "We're almost home. Do we honestly have to start this up again now?"

Naruto grinned as they approached the gates. "Oh Ero-Sennin, you make it sound like it stopped in the first place."

"I'll remember that comment, brat…" He growled with a twitching eyebrow.

"Welcome to Konoha, state your name and business…" Yawned Izumo as he looked at the group with half closed eyes, clearly not actually paying attention to what he was seeing.

"Jiraiya of the Sannin and Naruto Uzumaki, returning from a retrieval mission with Tsunade Senju of the Sannin and her assistant Shizune." Jiraiya stated while still glaring at the grinning boy.

Izumo blinked a few moments and rubbed his eyes before looking at the group again and gaping. Moments later, he was down on the ground on all fours begging for forgiveness. "My most sincere apologies, Jiraiya-sama and Tsunade-sama! This is my third day in a row on gate duty, and…"

"Relax slave… I mean chūnin…" Tsunade sighed, quickly catching herself on her verbal blunder. During her years as Hokage, she had run Izumo and Kotetsu in particular into the ground with an impossibly long series of chores that lasted well past Naruto's return to the village after his training trip. "No one can handle gate duty for long. Just give us the papers and we'll pretend it never happened." The worried chūnin didn't see the evil grin on the woman's face as he bowed to thank her. ' _It doesn't mean I won't hold this over your head once I get the hat, though…'_

Shizune chuckled nervously. ' _Tsunade-sama is thinking something evil again…'_

Several minutes later the group continued to walk down the main streets of the village towards the Hokage's office. "I gotta say, the place looks good…" Tsunade mused as she looked around the village, clearly not paying attention to the looks she and her group were getting. "Much better than I expected it to be…" She turned to her escorts. "So brat, pervert. What are you two going to do now that we're back?"

Naruto paled at the question and stopped in place. "Oh dear lord… you're right… I'm back…" He quickly looked around frantically. "I gotta hide, before they find me…"

"Too late, new fuzzy squeeze toy sacrifice." Grinned a cheerful Ghost from behind the horrified boy, grabbing onto his travelling bag so he wouldn't escape.

"Please save me." The jinchūriki said in a traumatized and pleading voice.

"Hey, who's the weird guy with the glasses?" Gamakichi asked curiously.

"Oh goodie." Tsunade grumbled sarcastically. "You."

"At your service, Queen Reverse Penis." The man replied with a pleasant smile before turning his attention back to the struggling blonde. "Shadow's been getting impatient to see your new look, and when she gets impatient, I suffer, and we both know that I value my well-being much higher than I value yours, so it's into the bear's den with you…"

"Make sure not to break him." Jiraiya smirked, ignoring Tsunade's look of rage at the man's new name for her and instead basking in the look of horror that Naruto was giving him. "We need the brat for later, you know." He turned to the seriously confused Gamakichi. "It would be best if you went back for now. We'll call you back when it's safe I mean when we have something interesting for you to do."

The toad pouted, causing his inflatable cheeks to momentarily puff out. "Fine, but I expect some quality snacks the next time I get here…" He grumbled before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"I'll keep that in mind!" The immortal chuckled as he walked back to his place.

"How could you do such a thing to me?" The boy asked him with extremely hurt and betrayed eyes just as he was dragged away by Ghost.

The big man merely shrugged. "Such is the life of a ninja, brat. Take care…"

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto roared as he attempted to grab at the ground and struggle free of the man's grasp, not caring at the stares he was getting from the general populace.

Shizune glanced at the smirking Jiraiya. "You know he's just going to get back at you for this, right?"

"Good." The smiling man replied. "The more effort he puts into coming up with ways to catch me off guard, the better a shinobi he'll be later on." He turned to Tsunade. "So, Hime. Shall we go? Sensei is waiting for us…"

The Senju froze at the statement, realizing just how long it had been for her since she had seen her teacher alive. The last words she had ever said to him were none too pleasant, and she had not once sent a letter to him to ask how she was or see how things were going on his end. Smiling bitterly at the realization that the world had to end before she would be able to apologize properly to the old man, the woman nodded her head. "Yeah… it has been a while… we have a lot to catch up on…"

o. o. o.

In a bar somewhere in Konoha:

"So, how's she doing, Chōza?" Inoichi asked dejectedly as he put his beer down on the table. He had known since the first night that Ino had left that she was staying at his buddy's place due to the large man sending a messenger to tell him of the development. Against his better judgment, he'd let his daughter stay there and act as if he didn't know she was staying there so that she wouldn't try to move elsewhere. The Akimichi clan leader had been keeping an eye on her since then, as she viewed him as an uncle of sorts.

"Surprisingly well." Chōza replied, clearly not channeling his friend's depression. "She still trains a lot with Chōji, and they help each other with their taijutsu, seeing that they are the other's polar opposite in styles. Anko drops by on occasion to give her a bit of instruction and iron out some of the flaws in her style… other than that first time, where I had to jump in so she wouldn't kill Ino for obvious reasons… I can see why she made it all the way to the finals…"

"Indeed, had she not acted the way she did, her chances of getting promoted would have been significant…" Shibi nodded before taking another drink. "… Though if what you said about her conversation with young Chōji is correct, then I would not place all the blame for the way she behaved on her. She is still quite young and impressionable, despite the growth she has displayed recently…"

"So you're saying that I should blame Anko, Chōji, or the Ōgakari, then?" Inoichi grumbled in a sarcastic tone before taking another swig of beer.

"Two of those three would respond by knocking your lights out if you went about it the wrong way, and Chōza would probably do the same if you went for Chōji." Shikaku sighed, not even bothering to look at his large teammate's expression. "What Shibi is saying is that Ino's a girl that just started to realize what growing up is like, and because of that, she's bound to do something troublesome at some point. It just so happened that moment was accidentally spurred on by Chōji and happened in front of the entire village and several high ranking officials. No one said that kids have the best sense of timing…" He took a drink. "That being said, you should cut her some slack. From what my son has told me, Ino's actually taking being a ninja seriously, and if what Chōza said is true, then she's trying hard not to let what happened get to her…"

"I believe that young Chōji is once again part of the reason for this…" Shibi speculated. "Just as he was the one that provoked her outburst of emotion during the exams, he is able to calm her down and serve as a catalyst for her development…"

"Fine…" Inoichi relented. "I'll leave her alone for another week to have things calm down a bit more and see if she comes back to me to talk, otherwise I'll come over and see her myself. No offence, Chōza, but I can't risk having grandkids just yet. It's not Chōji I'm concerned with, but Ino can be a bit headstrong at times…" He turned to Shikaku. "Though to be honest, I'm surprised you know so much about dealing with teenage girls Shikaku…"

The Nara lazily smirked. "I don't have a teenage daughter, but I'm married to a headstrong woman. From what I've seen, there isn't much difference between the two…"

"I'll keep that in mind…" Yoshino growled from the end of the table, shocking all the men there. "I came to let you boys know that Tsunade-sama apparently just returned to the village, but it seems I have to have a private talk to my husband…"

Shibi shifted uncomfortably, as his seat was blocking Shikaku from getting out of his seat, hence he was right next to the man's angry wife.

Chōza sniggered. "Now you know why we don't sit next to Shikaku if he's on the inside seat. Sorry, Shibi."

The Aburame raised an eyebrow in momentary shock before calming down and moving out of his seat slowly and out of the line of fire. "… I will keep that in mind for next time, Akimichi-san… Yamanaka-san… most likely when your respective significant others arrive unexpectedly…"

All three men paled at the clear threat Shibi had made and raised their hands in surrender. "Whoa. Shibi, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Inoichi chuckled nervously, knowing an Aburame's wrath was like a slow acting gas bomb. Silent and near undetectable, but deadly and painful as all hell. "It was all in good fun. We promise we'll let you know if something like this comes to mind. No need to wage war on us. We'll pay for your next drink as an apology…"

Shibi didn't say anything as he let Shikaku walk past him, doomed, towards his wife before she grabbed his ear and dragged him out of the bar, but not before forcing him to pay for his share of the bill. As the Aburame sat down again, he stared at his drink for a moment before looking up again. "What do you think Tsunade-sama's recent return means?"

Inoichi and Chōza sweatdropped, praying that the sudden change in conversation meant that the ground was even between them again before thinking about the man's question and realizing what they'd just been told. "Tsunade-sama's back, eh? It's been a while since she stepped foot here…" Chōza grumbled as he pondered the fact. It was well known that the Akimichi had a grudging respect for the woman since she was the only person in Konoha (before the Ōgakari) that could match and then overwhelm them in terms of pure raw strength and strength based jutsu. "You think maybe she's going to replace Sandaime-sama?"

"Could be." Inoichi sighed. "He did mention that he was going to step down soon, and the only people in the village that I know are strong enough to take the hat are the Sannin, Danzō, maybe Kakashi, and the elder Ōgakari…"

"I am doubtful that any of the Ōgakari would take the job if offered…" Shibi mused. "Despite their abilities, they seem to prefer to be out of the direct line of sight in terms of major events. They are involved, but they are not directly involved unless needed…"

Chōza nodded. "You got that right. They'd probably laugh and back away from the offer as if it were poisonous." He paused. "Well… we know that Danzō isn't going to get the position, either. There's no way in hell the old man would give the hat to that shifty bastard. Kakashi's probably too young, even if he's famous, so all that's left is Tsunade and Jiraiya…"

"And since someone obviously made the effort to get Tsunade-sama back here even when everyone knows about her feelings about the place, we can safely guess that she's going to be the one to get the hat in the next couple of weeks…" Inoichi concluded before sighing and resting back in his seat again. "I guess that means that medical program that she was pushing for all those years back will finally be made… just when I got those blasted plants out of Ino's walls, she gets a chance to surround herself with even more materials to work with…"

Shibi shook his head. "See this as an opportunity, Inoichi. Now your daughter will become more proficient in the medical arts like you wanted, instead of spending most of her time with Mitarashi-san working on poisons."

"I guess, but since she showed so much promise with poisons in the first place it would almost be a shame to force her onto a different route… even I can see that…" The man grumbled dejectedly before finishing his drink.

"When the time comes, you will discuss the matter with the right people around." Shibi mused as he finished his 3rd beer. "For now, I believe we should go back to prepare for the oncoming meeting that will no doubt take place due to Tsunade-sama's return." He got up. "I leave you two gentlemen with the bill…" He said in an almost amused tone as he left the bar.

Chōza blinked as he tried to get his somewhat inebriated mind around what just happened. "… I thought we were only paying for one of his drinks…"

Inoichi sighed as he put his money on the table. "Just leave it and take out your wallet, Chōza. There's no use trying to argue with Shibi when Shikaku's not around…"

o. o. o.

Hokage's tower:

"It's been a long time… hasn't it, Tsunade?" Sarutobi asked with a grandfatherly smile on his face.

Tsunade blinked as she held back some tears, smiling just as gently as the old man. "Too long if you ask me, Sensei. Look at you… all wrinkled up like that. I'm surprised you're still alive…"

The people laughed lightly at the inside joke before the Sannin and the Hokage hugged each other gently for a good length of time. "I'm so sorry…" She whispered while crying into his neck.

"It's okay…" The old man sighed while rubbing her back. "You're taking the hat soon again, so we can call it even."

"Heh…" The blonde chuckled lightly as she backed away and brushed the water from her eyes. "I guess you're right. You do deserve your retirement after all that you've been through. I'm surprised you even beat Orochimaru the way you are now…"

The old man pouted. "I may have had some help, Tsunade, but I'm still the Hokage for a reason, you know…"

Shizune stepped forward and bowed. "May I just say that it is an honor to finally talk to you again, Hokage-sama."

Hiruzen smiled. "Ah, Shizune. How long has it been since I last saw you? You have grown to be such a beautiful woman. Dan would have been proud…"

The brunette nodded sheepishly. "Th-thank you, Hokage-sama. It's nice to see you too…"

The old man sighed as he sat back down in his chair and took out his pipe while setting up his privacy seals in the process. "So then, now that you have returned, how long do you think we should wait 'til I place you in charge again, Tsunade? I have no doubt that you could do a fine job if I gave the job to you now and that Naruto-kun and Jiraiya have informed you of the changes in the village from the previous timeline, but it would be best if you got used to the changes yourself before doing so…"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Well, first I have to see the Hyūga compound for myself. I'm still having trouble believing that the two houses have finally joined together. After a quick look around the village to see if any of the major store chains have changed at all and looking at the village repairs, I'm gonna go over the village's economy and recent documents." She grinned evilly. "After all that, which should take me about half a week, I'm gonna drink until I black out and spend the rest of the week sleeping off the hangover, 'cause I'm not gonna be able to do so again for a while."

"Just make sure to keep your top or your youth jutsu on…" Jiraiya sniggered. "Last time you got plastered, you lost control of both…"

Bam! Jiraiya's head was embedded into a nearby wall, courtesy of air Tsunade's fist.

Sarutobi wept. "Why am I not surprised, and why do I have a feeling that our damages are going to double very soon?"

Boom! A small explosion erupted in the middle of the village, catching all of the shinobi's attention. "Whoa." Jiraiya blinked as he dislodged his head. "That was impressive, Sensei. Can you predict the next winning lottery numbers, too?"

"Shut up, Jiraiya!" Tsunade growled. "Can't you see we're being attack-…"

"Oh dear god, someone help me!" A familiar young voice roared from outside, somehow getting past the soundproof walls of the office and causing the people inside to sweatdrop.

"TEH FUZZIES SHALL BE MINEZ!" Roared an insane female voice almost immediately afterwards.

"Back off, bitch! He's MY plaything!" Yelled a young girl's voice, surprising everyone as they realized who it belonged to.

"Just ignore it…" Sarutobi wept. "It's safer that way…"

o. o. o.

Several minutes earlier, in the middle of Konoha:

"Kakashi my youthful rival! I come to challenge you once again!" Gai roared as he stood in front of the cyclops and pointed at his face, completely ignoring the attention he drew to himself.

Kakashi, on the other hand, didn't bother looking up from his book. "Eh? You say something, Gai? Can you not bug me now, I'm at a good part in my book."

In standard Gai fashion, the man clenched his fist and grimaced. "Damn you, Kakashi, and your hip way of trying to ignore me! Curse those books of yours, and…"

"Come one, come all, to witness the most entertaining and seemingly completely random event of the year! The special invitation only fox hunt!" Roared a very familiar and mischievous voice from down the road, interrupting Gai's rant and getting both of their attentions.

Kakashi paled as he went over in his mind the few things that the Ōgakari could be talking about at the moment. "… Please don't tell me that they actually are going to…" He mumbled to himself as he quickly rushed over to where Ghost was standing in the middle of a busy intersection on top of a metal box just large enough to fit a few people in somewhat comfortably. Next to the box, Shadow and Hinata stood waiting, one anxious and almost rabid and the other completely confused. Out of the corner of his eye, Kakashi spied a fully healed Sasuke and Crypt standing on different buildings with cameras (in Crypt's case, he was wearing a helmet with a camera duct taped to the top), both grinning evilly and focusing on the crate. "This can't be good…" The man chuckled nervously to himself as people gathered around the area, wondering what the clearly insane man was doing this time.

"Wh-why am I here?" Hinata asked quietly, her nerves being shot from being the main attention of so many people. In hindsight, it was a miracle that she'd performed so well during the Chūnin Exams. Her resolve had grown considerably, but she was still naturally very shy and didn't like being the focus of attention.

"On my mark, this box will be opened, and the hunt's target will be released! Once so, our two contestants will compete to capture it first. The one to do so will win a fabulous mystery prize! Please note that anyone who interferes with the hunt will be punished, so you can look, but you can't touch!" Ghost explained, clearly ignoring the small girl's panic attack. "With that being said, let's show everyone our grand target!" He announced and pointed to the sky before kicking a switch on the box. Almost immediately the doors on a side of it opened and something exploded on the inside, throwing a screaming body out into the middle of the open area.

"Hey…" Gai muttered in a surprisingly calm voice. "Isn't that…?"

Kakashi groaned as he got a good look at who it was and covered his face. This could go very wrong, very quickly. "Yeah… this won't end well…"

Lying on the ground with his ass in the air was a shirtless Naruto… however there were some distinct details about him this time. First of all, there was a tail with golden blonde fur and a black tip sticking out of a hole in his cargo pants and lazily swishing left and right. Next were the two fox ears on top of his head with similar fur patterns, but matching the color of his hair. There were smaller changes that Kakashi also noticed, such as longer fingernails and sharper teeth, and his hair was more wild, but for the most part, the look on the boy's face told him that the mind of the kid had not been changed in the slightest.

Naruto struggled to get back on his feet as the new tail screwed with his sense of balance. "Oi Ero-nii! What the hell? Why the heck did you take off my shirt, stuff me in a box, then almost blow me up in public, you crazy bastard?" The boy growled as he ignored the shocked looks around him. "Can you at least change me back? Growing a tail out of nowhere feels weird as hell… and it itches! How the heck am I supposed to go to the bathroom like this if the tail keeps on brushing against the toilet seat?"

Hinata's eyes widened as she saw her secret boyfriend shirtless and now with absolutely adorable new additions. "N-naruto-kun?" She whispered in awe. "So… cute… and tail… and ears…"

"Chibi-Kitsune-Shōnen…" Shadow drooled uncontrollably as she pretty much eye raped the boy and walked forward in a zombie like manner. "Teh fuzzies… they command me to squeeze themz…"

Sasuke could barely hold back his laughter as he saw Naruto realize that Shadow and Hinata were right behind him. It was like five of his birthdays had come all at once and the gifts had combined into one amazing instance of blackmail to use against Naruto. His only regret was that Sakura wasn't there to watch this once in a lifetime opportunity in person, since she was still stuck in the hospital for rehabilitation.

Naruto paled noticeably as he saw the looks Shadow and Hinata were giving him. "Oh dear god… I'm gonna die…" He said in a mortified voice as he slowly turned around again, the pictures of what had happened to Shadow's previous 'glomping' victims running through his mind rapidly. "Nice, slow movements, Naruto. Anything sudden might tip them off to your fear. Just move nice and slow… and… then… RUN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!" The blonde bolted as fast as he could toward an opening in the shocked crowd, stumbling due to his messed-up balance and sense of hearing.

Almost immediately, Hinata and Shadow gave chase, ignoring everything around them and focusing on the object of their vastly immature desires, leaving Ghost behind to laugh so hard that he actually collapsed to his knees and held his stomach in pain.

As expected, Shadow took after the boy like a rabid animal, foaming mouth and all the while giggling insanely. What she didn't expect was for Hinata to take the opportunity of her distraction to use her family's skills to shut off the nerves of the woman's legs, causing the immortal to fall flat on her face. "Naruto-kuuuun. Why are you running from me?" The Hyūga asked in a way that immediately caused all of the civilians to get out of the girl's way with a healthy dose of fear.

"Because my life preservation senses are screaming for me to run away from this general area!" The boy frantically screamed as he attempted to get used to his new additions. ' _And the fact that you're eyeing me like I'm a piece of meat isn't helping!'_

Hinata attempted to give chase, but she froze as something from the ground latched onto her leg. Looking down, she saw a shadow-like claw hold onto her before transforming into stone and locking her in place. "Heheheheh…" Shadow grinned with possessed eyes as she dragged herself across the ground unusually quickly with her arms. "The fuzzies are mine and mine alone… a little girl like you doesn't deserve to break in the softness of a fox's tail…"

Hinata saw red as she flared out her chakra enough that some of it was visible to the naked eye and shattered the manacle around her ankle. "Let's get this straight lady. You can mock me all you want, you can embarrass me in public, and you can make jokes about my eyes, but when it comes to that piece of fluff in front of us, I. ALWAYS. HAVE. FIRST. DIBS."

BOOM! Hinata had let lose a massive Heaven Bullet at the scuttling woman, scaring everyone in the surrounding area greatly.

"Oh dear god, someone help me!" Naruto screamed for his life as he stumbled through the village as fast as he could.

"Teh fuzzies shall be minez!" Shadow roared as she continued to crawl on the ground at a speed that would make people think she wasn't human despite the fact that she was hit dead on with a powerful jutsu.

"Back off, bitch! He's MY plaything!" Hinata yelled as she chased after them, launching more Heaven Bullets at the possessed woman with her eyes activated.

Kakashi and Gai couldn't help but gape as they watched the entire episode unravel in front of them, with Ghost's uncontrollable laughter being clearly heard by everyone.

"Kakashi…" Gai started. "It… seems as if our student's flame of youth has… grown out of control… should we… help?"

Kakashi swallowed heavily. "I dunno, Gai. I've heard of Shadow's… obsession with people with animal parts. Men with fox tails are… exceptionally appealing to her. …I don't know if we would live if we got in her way at the moment…"

"Oh my god…" Ghost wheezed out in a high pitched tone as he tried to breathe again. "This is haha beyond priceless. I'll never get tired of watching this… the look on his face… and Hinata…" He took in deep breaths and calmed down so that he was only chuckling constantly now and started to give chase as well. "Oh man… I gotta keep watch over this…" The man jumped off the crate, but since he was still laughing so much, he couldn't control himself and collapsed on the ground giggling before getting onto his feet again and taking off after them, still laughing his ass off.

Kakashi winced. "Maybe we should follow them just in case one of the shinobi here or a civilian gets the wrong idea about Naruto and tries to take action… or is dumb enough to try and stop the girls…"

Gai paled as he ran the scenarios in his mind. "Agreed, my rival. We do not want their flames of youth to burn others by accident…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Roared a familiar blonde from the distance, clearly indicating that something horrifying and mentally traumatizing was happening to him at the moment.

o. o. o.

In Suna:

"Gaara." Temari said sternly as she stood in his bedroom doorway. "We need to talk."

The semi-insomniac robotically opened his eyes and faced his sister from his bed. "What is it, Temari? It had better be important enough to wake me up before I actually got any sleep…"

The blonde mentally winced at that comment, knowing that even though her brother was acting much better than normal, he still was rather… uncooperative whenever someone woke him up from his sleep now. Kankurō had learned the hard way after he pretty much had to reconstruct Crow from scratch one night. "I wanted to talk to you about some things I heard about when I was in Konoha…"

The redhead glanced at his sister momentarily before slowly getting up and got dressed. "I see. Just a moment…" Minutes later the two were sitting on the top of a building that Gaara was certain was not near any of his village's ANBU patrol routes at this time. "I am to assume that this conversation will have skeptical topics…" He mused calmly.

Temari took in a deep breath and took the plunge. "What happened to you, Gaara?"

The jinchūriki blinked almost curiously as he gathered his thoughts. It was times like this that he was glad that he naturally had a poker face. "You are going to have to be more specific, Temari. I don't know what you are talking about."

The girl frowned. "Stop beating around the bush, Gaara. You're different since we went to Konoha and you met that Uzumaki kid. You've barely killed anyone since then, and your temper is almost non-existent now. You are suddenly able to sleep, you're not talking to Shukaku, your control over your sand and your technique when using it skyrocketed overnight, you're not pushing people away every chance you get… It's like you're almost a completely different person… and I'm worried about you…"

The boy paused as he looked into the tearing eyes of his sister and realized how much she truly cared for him. All the times she'd stood up for him, even when he was a psycho came up in his mind… next to Yashamaru, she was the next person in his family that he trusted the most. Sighing slightly, the boy closed his eyes and crossed his arms. "… I was shown myself, Temari. I was shown what I was… what I used to be… what I had become… and what I had almost missed completely…" He answered cryptically, technically not lying from his perspective. "I met people who knew what it was like to be me… and after some… persuasion, I realized that there was more purpose to my life than just senselessly killing others…"

Temari snorted. "You mean to tell me that the Uzumaki kid is really so much like you that he can change your personality?"

Gaara frowned. "More than you can ever realize, Temari. Is that all you wanted to talk to me about tonight?"

The girl flinched before calming down and thinking of her next words carefully. "… I heard that you're part of some group… that you guys helped out sort things out with the invasion and revealed Orochimaru's betrayal to us and apparently fixed your seal… and that people like you are being hunted soon…"

The future Kazekage frowned again, making a mental note to have a few words with Shikamaru about confidential information later. "… Yes." He answered. "To all of them…"

Temari swallowed as she felt an ominous chill go down her spine. There were people actually strong and insane enough to go after tailed beasts… after her brother… "… Why aren't you afraid?" She whispered while trying to gather herself together.

Gaara sighed and closed his eyes. "… Because I have allies that would give their lives to help me out, and I would do the same for them. We are… friends."

Temari paused as she heard the new word come out of her brother's mouth before chuckling to herself and covering her face with one of her hands. "Heh… for that simple reason, huh? I guess I haven't been as good of an older sister as I could have been, if that's all it would have taken to make you act like this…"

"I wouldn't blame myself if I were you. I remember thinking to myself on multiple occasions that if you attempted to interrupt my killing sessions any more than you did, I would go for you next…" The redhead mused, almost finding the paling expression on his sister's face amusing before wincing at a sudden stinging on his right arm. Raising it and rolling up his sleeves, he saw that the mark for 8 glowed a dull red and appeared in its correct place between 7 and 9. "… It appears we just received a new club member…" He mused, not paying attention to his sister's curious gaze. "… I have heard that this one has the best control over his tenant out of all of us… this is good news…"

Temari's eyes widened as she realized what he was talking about and figured the symbolism of the numbers on her brother's arm. "G-Gaara… you mean to tell me that f-five other people like you are in on this? A-and that one of them holds the Kyūbi?"

The boy nodded. "Yes, though the Ōgakari woman is also a container of sorts as well… the point is, however, that we are secretly joining forces, despite being from separate villages, because this threat is too big for anyone alone to handle. That is why we are now keeping an eye on each other and training to become as strong as we can…"

The eldest sand sibling paused before laughing nervously to herself. "Heheh… wow… you guys seem all set up… I guess you don't really need my help, do you? I mean, I'm just a girl with a few decent wind jutsu in her arsenal, and you guys are pretty much kage-level shinobi…"

Gaara shook his head and placed a comforting hand on his sister's shoulder. "Temari… you will never hear me say that I do not want your help. There is a reason why we have convinced elder Chiyo to help Kankurō with his puppets and we ourselves will be helping our friends get stronger. Many of our opponents are barely what could be called human. Their tactics are ruthless, and their jutsu are impossibly strong. Even if we ourselves are stronger than they are, which is not certain at this point, it does not mean that they won't try to get to us through our loved ones. We want you to be strong not only for us, but for yourselves as well. It is… the best way to protect you…"

Temari teared up at her brother's explanation and before he could react was hugging him. "I'm sorry…" She sniffed. "I should have been there for you more like the big sister I should have been…"

The ex-psycho paused, as even in the future, his sister rarely showed her emotional side to him, before briefly returning the hug. "It's okay… I was not exactly what most people would call approachable, after all…" He muttered out loud.

The blonde chuckled humorlessly as she backed up. "Yeah… we gotta work on that…" She sighed. "… But what can I do now? Shikamaru told me that the group hunting you will move in about 3 years. Kankurō has Chiyo-sama to help him out with his technique… but we don't have anyone on that level here that can help me out with my style…"

"You make it sound like I had someone teach me how to use Shukaku's powers the entire time…" Gaara grumbled, causing Temari to stumble back nervously. Sighing to himself, the teen recollected his thoughts on how to help his sister, what she learned in the previous timeline, and who could help her surpass her previous self. "… I may know of someone who can help you… however, it will take time and preparation for you two to meet and spend extended periods of time together. For now, I think it would be best if you continued to train here and improve your limits. If I remember correctly, you said something about being considered for signing the weasel summoning contract a few days ago…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Tsunade frowned deeply as she crossed her arms under her chest in the middle of one of Konoha's main streets and glared at the small group of very disheveled and exhausted individuals, including Ghost, Shadow, Hinata, Sasuke, Crypt, Kakashi, Gai, Anko, and Hana, in front of her while attempting to ignore the violently shivering Naruto trying to hide behind her. "Can someone please explain to me what the hell is going on here?"

"Please, no more glomping… I'll be a good boy now…" Naruto shivered as he attempted to protect his tail, which was bent at awkward angles in some places.

A good majority of the individuals there turned to look at Ghost, who was still giggling uncontrollably and thus was unable to talk more than a word or two without bursting out laughing again. Sasuke, Crypt, and Shadow were also suffering from a similar case of the giggles, though Shadow in particular was also suffering from two broken legs, several shut off tenketsu, a concussion, and three broken or bruised ribs. Hinata, on the other hand, was still staring at Naruto like a fresh piece of meat with stars in her eyes, even though she herself was suffering from a small case of chakra exhaustion as well.

 _'I'm still surprised that Shadow managed to outrun Gai by crawling on the ground…'_ Kakashi sweatdropped as he glanced at the insane half dead giggling woman and the exhausted Green Beast of Konoha. "Erm… from what I can tell, Tsunade-sama, the Ōgakari had made some adjustments to Naruto's seal and decided to use them as… entertainment… and that it quickly got out of control…" The cyclops answered hesitantly, seeing as he was the only one that had been there since the beginning and wasn't insane, traumatized, injured, laughing, or exhausted at the moment. "Apparently his current state was… appealing… enough to Shadow-san and Hinata-chan that they behaved as they did and pretty much wasted a good third of the market district of the village…"

"To be fair, when I got there it looked like Hinata was only doing the damage to the street since she was aiming at Shadow…" Hana said, adding her two cents in. "Shadow, on the other hand, was going nuts with her powers to make sure that Naruto didn't escape and so no one got in her way… which is why you probably saw all those souvenir carts fly over the Hokage's monument…"

Ghost cackled maniacally. "That's when you got beaned by a cart's worth of watermelons and you had to redo your makeup before finally coming after us… hahahahahahaha… but not before the Midget finally got her hands on the brat hehehehehe…"

"So… much… squeezing…" Naruto shivered as he hid behind Tsunade. "Hugging hurts, Grandma… make it stop… make it stop…"

The future Hokage rolled her eyes and glared at the Ōgakari. "Since you obviously were the ones that turned him like this, can you change him back? You know that there will be problems if he's stuck like this."

The least insane of the immortals calmed down a bit before replying. "Of course. We just tweaked him out a small bit so that he couldn't change back for this little entertaining event. In reality, he can change from this to full fox to normal anytime he wants…"

"Unlimited fuzzies?" Shadow asked with her eyes open in hope, causing Naruto to squeak like the old Hinata and cling onto Tsunade's leg for dear life.

The Sannin frowned as she looked at the state her favorite brat was in. "… tell you what… Shadow, was it? For every time I hear you going after Naruto like today, I will fine your family." She grinned as she saw she had Shadow's attention. "I have heard that your brother Scabbard is quite meticulous when it comes to money owed by you guys…"

Shadow hissed like something that lives in a cave. "How dare you put a price on the fuzzies? We shall remember this, we shall…" Her vow of revenge was cut short as she was sprayed in the face with water. Everyone turned to see Waltz holding a spray bottle in his hand and using it on the girl.

"Bad! Bad Shadow! What have we told you about speaking in the third person plural!" The giant of an old man admonished the girl as if she was a dog, who was reacting to the water as if she was one. Waltz quickly turned to the somewhat confused Tsunade and bowed. "My most sincere apologies, Tsunade-sama. As you can see, my family is insane. On a side note, it is a pleasure to meet you and…" He saw movement coming towards the pair out of the corner of his eye and brandished his water spraying weapon again. "Back! Back I say!"

Shadow retreated with a hiss but Crypt was there as well now and merely stood there with the camera still on his head and his mouth wide open to drink the water. "Ah. Now I have minty fresh breath!" The man said happily after smacking his lips before Waltz punted him a good 30 meters away.

Tsunade, on the other hand, frowned as she processed what happened. Waltz, despite his massive frame and stature, had pretty much appeared behind her without her knowing. Glancing around her, she made a mental note that despite Naruto's reputation among the villagers, only about a tenth of the ones surrounding them had looks of fear or anger. The rest were either confused, laughing, or concerned about the boy's well-being. She did note that there were several irritated Inuzuka watching… she would have to check up on that later. On the other hand, there was something else she wanted to make sure of first… "I thought that the Uchiha were normally as stoic as the Hyūga, but I see the two heirs acting just the opposite in front of me. I have a guess as to why the heiress is the way she is, but I have heard from Naruto-kun that you, Sasuke, still occasionally act like you have a stick up your ass. Why, may I ask, are you so happy?"

Sasuke sniggered as he held up a camera. "5 years' worth of blackmail…" He replied simply with an evil grin on his face. "Revenge at its finest…"

 _'Well, at least I have no doubts that it's really him that I'm talking to…'_ Tsunade sweatdropped, not sure if this new twist in the boy's personality was a good or bad thing. Sighing, she looked at the frantic Naruto. Personally, she also thought that the ears and the tail, as well as the wide open scared eyes, made him look adorable as all get out, but she still had an image and reputation to maintain. "I'll have to deal with your punishments later, but for the moment, I have to make sure none of you did anything permanent to the brat…"

"Actually, despite what we just did to him, it would be best if we treated him at our clan compound." Waltz advised before squirting Shadow again in the face on pure instinct. "While my family did exploit young Naruto's current condition to inhumane levels, there are still some things that we must adjust and take care of before we can let him go…"

Tsunade frowned. "And why can't we do such changes inside the hospital?"

Waltz sighed as he leant forward to whisper in her ear. "Some of these activities will require us to invoke some of our clan's secrets… and in the process, develop some more for the village to hide…"

"I assume that Hokage-sama knows about what you are going to do?" Tsunade asked with steel in her eyes.

"A bit." Waltz replied without flinching. "But we wish for the details to be a surprise… I believe you will find them to be quite… interesting yourself, however I assure you that no danger will come to the village at all."

"She's getting close AGAIN!" Naruto shrieked, still fused to Tsunade's leg as Shadow crawled to Naruto in a daze before Hinata pounced on the woman's back and hit some more of her tenketsu.

"Naruto-kun is mine, and so help me if you get near him again, I will use the full extent of my power to blow up your tits, lady..." The girl growled as she coldly stared at the already unconscious woman and causing everyone else to naturally back up from her.

"Damn… and I thought I was violent when someone unwanted goes after my man…" Anko whistled in an impressed tone.

 _'Ooookkkkkaaay… we might want to lighten up on the crazy when it comes to Hinata for now…'_ Ghost chuckled nervously, not wanting to explain this to Hiashi. "Aaaaanyways, since blondie is fused to Lady Jigglebits' leg there, can we just ask you to come to our place so we can finish things up? I think it would actually be best if you were there, since he seems to have taken a liking to you… we can fix the tail too…"

Tsunade frowned, once again trying to pretend that the comment about her breasts didn't exist. "I don't think Naruto-kun is too thrilled about going anywhere that has that woman trying to eat him while he's there…"

"Already taken care of." Waltz grumbled as he showed everyone that he had at some point captured Shadow in a barrier sphere that was hovering above the ground.

"Hey!" Shadow giggled. "I can see down Battle Tit's shirt from here!"

"THAT'S IT!" Tsunade roared as she charged at the floating sphere and kicked it (luckily for Naruto, not with the leg he was still holding onto for dear life) straight up into the air, causing the girl to scream in the process of disappearing from view. Wheeling around, the Sannin fumed. "If you have any other stupid names for me, get them out of your system now or else I swear I will kill you if you make fun of me later…"

"Shouldn't have done that…" Waltz grumbled as Ghost and Crypt (who had conveniently appeared just then) grinned evilly.

"Boss with boobs." Ghost grinned.

"Madame Mammaries." Crypt added.

"The Tit in the Hat!" Ghost continued.

"The Top Knocker." Crypt nodded.

"Tits McGee." They said at once.

"Cannon Nipples." Ghost nodded.

"The Chief Chesticle." Crypt nodded with conviction.

"Ooooooh." Ghost said as he looked at Crypt, clearly impressed. "Very nice."

Everyone gaped at the two as they fired off clearly offensive nicknames for Tsunade without any reservation. "Is that it?" Tsunade growled, clearly waiting for the sign to go ahead and murder the two men.

"Wait… wait…" Ghost said as he tried to think. "Gamble guns…" He said with finality. "Yeah… we're done now."

"Good." The demonic woman replied before plowing both men into the ground and making a crater for each of them. "Let's go then. I'm starting to lose feeling in my leg with this brat here…"

Waltz winced as his family members got pounded on before slowly sidestepping to allow Shadow to land headfirst on the nice, cold, hard pavement. "In my defense, I can't keep an eye on all three of them at once…" He said plainly with both hands up to show that he was at the enraged woman's mercy as he slowly edged himself towards Ghost and Crypt. "… I'm just going to make sure that these two are somewhat capable of getting back home…"

"And Shadow?" Kakashi asked, looking nervously at the woman's unmoving body.

"That's what we have Zuzushi for." The old man grinned, getting a defiant yet body-less squeak in protest.

"Sooo, I'm guessing that we can't come since it has to do with new village secrets?" Anko asked curiously.

Waltz shook his head. "Only Tsunade-sama, Hokage-sama, Jiraiya-sama, Kakashi-san, and other specific individuals that have access to certain temperamental information can come…" Kakashi nodded slightly, knowing exactly what Waltz was telling him.

o. o. o.

Several hours later in the Ōgakari Clan Compound basement:

Shikamaru yawned. "Hey, I know it's a big deal that Naruto's back, but why do we all have to be here?"

Haku nodded. "Yeah, I'm still busy trying to clean up my and Zabuza-sama's rooms after you practically blew up the house." She paused as she looked to her side where Jiraiya and Fukasaku were sitting patiently. "… Still… I've never been comfortable around frogs… and for some reason, ones with facial hair seem especially creepy…"

Said toad elder pouted. "That's not very comforting… why is it that human females are afraid of us?"

"Mostly because of the whole warts thing." Jiraiya sighed with a shrug. "That's why you let ME sign the toad contract, so that I can counter that reaction with my natural manly sexyness!"

Tsunade plowed the perverted man into the ground with a well-deserved punch.

"I remember hearing you guys mention that Crypt was working on some sort of big seal job for a while…" Asuma mused, ignoring the two remaining Sannin's antics. "Does it have to do with the Kyūbi's seal?"

"I thought you guys fixed the seal already." Sakura voiced her opinion as she leaned on her crutches. She still needed another few weeks before she was back on active duty again. "Please don't tell us that you're playing around with it again…"

Waltz sighed as he looked at Ghost. "I'll take this one." He grumbled before walking up to the curious group. "As you guys know, Crypt is our clan's best seal master. He's made the Hyūga's new seal and pretty much makes Jiraiya look like he has no idea what the hell he's doing when it comes to the subject." Jiraiya huffed and grumbled in denial as the old man continued. "To be honest, his work is near legendary in the right circles due to the potency of his blood as an ingredient and his unnatural talent in the subject. When we first had him look at Naruto's seal, he went at it in a slightly different way than the rest of us, and he discovered something rather interesting about his seal."

"What did he do?" Sarutobi asked curiously, making mental notes so that he could give the advice to others later on.

Waltz sighed. "He, for lack of a better term, checked the ink."

"Huh?" Shizune blinked. "What is so special about that?"

Ghost shook his head. "When you're dealing with high level seal masters, sometimes the ingredients used for writing the seals can affect the potency of the effects. It's the reason why blood is so frequently used in large scale techniques, and thus why Crypt's seals are so freakishly powerful. Crypt is so advanced in this field that he always checks the ingredients to every foreign seal he comes across to see if there's something new he can get out of it."

Waltz continued. "When he looked at Naruto's seal, not only did he find Naruto's, the Kyūbi's, the Fourth's and the Shinigami's chakra, but he found another one there as well…"

Kakashi frowned. "Another chakra? But who else was there with Sensei during the ritual?"

Sarutobi blinked before the pieces fell into place rapidly in his mind. "No… you are actually saying that at the moment you are bringing back… but that would completely shatter the foundation of the seal holding the Kyūbi!"

Asuma looked at his dad curiously. "Hey dad, who are you talking about?"

Ghost crossed his arms. "Soon after Crypt did his first inspection, our sources came across some interesting facts about the night the Kyūbi attacked Konoha…"

Fukasaku frowned. "And I thought that I suffered from memory loss. You two are 3 times as old as I am! Stop beating around the bush and tell us whose chakra you found!"

A shadow covered over the two men's faces. "Kushina Uzumaki. The previous jinchūriki of the Kyūbi, and Naruto's mother…" Waltz announced sternly. Almost on cue, a dark red light erupted from a good distance away from the group. "Crypt may be insane, but his seal work is only comparable with the greatest masters." Waltz grumbled. "Over the past month, he has worked on figuring out how to extract her chakra, enhance and enforce it to solidify her psyche inside Naruto's mindscape, while at the same time modifying and stabilizing the seal to hold back and restrain the Kyūbi and STILL leak out and filter the significant amount of chakra into Naruto's body at a stable rate without endangering his health…"

Tsunade gaped (much like everyone else) and shook her head. She decided to discuss the more imminent threat of screwing around with the Kyūbi's seal (again) and put off talking about Kushina's position as a jinchūriki later. "That… that shouldn't be possible! The amount of control you would need to perform such a feat, not at all taking into account the complexity of the seal, should be impossible to achieve! The Kyūbi could easily break out if the seal weakens a little bit in the right place!"

"She's right…" Muttered Jiraiya in a dazed tone, also putting off the discovery that Kushina was a jinchūriki till later, though he was having more trouble than his teammate. "The Kyūbi won't let a chance to escape pass, even if your family is nearby. Knowing its personality, it'll consider it worth it if it goes out taking Naruto and as many other people with him…"

The red light grew brighter and fumes of unnatural gas surrounded the apparent sealing area now. "Troublesome…" Shikamaru grumbled. "It's times like this that make me remember that you guys are able to turn back time… If they say they can do it, then I doubt they're lying. Besides, there's no point in trying to stop them if they are already in the middle of doing… honestly, you guys are worse than Naruto…"

"Thanks." Ghost grinned.

"That wasn't a compliment…" Haku grumbled, knowing that it wouldn't matter if she explained it to the immortal or not. "Is there another reason why you brought us all down here other than worry if we're going to have to fight a giant chakra monster within the next few minutes?"

Waltz sighed as he pointed to the stands that many there could have sworn were not there before. Each one showed a timeline and several notes written down on them. "Other than introducing you to the Fourth Hokage, his wife, and solidifying the fact that my family has no sense of tact whatsoever? We plan on going over what we know of future events for the next few years and going over the most likely scenarios that Scab has thought up of…"

o. o. o.

Naruto groaned as he slowly regained coherent thought and feeling in his body. It was times like these that made him almost wish that he HAD died and the Kyūbi had been taken out of his body. At least then he wouldn't have to suffer emotionally and physically on a level that mankind hasn't made a word for yet. Not even 10 minutes back into his home village, he had been experimented on by his insane teacher and then slapped with a chakra suppressor so he couldn't escape for the next few hours, THEN he was put on display in his new form for the ENTIRE village to see and then moments later he had to run/stumble for his life while Hinata went fangirl on him and Shadow attempted to rip his tail and spine out of his body. Seriously, that woman looked so much like a possessed demon when she was crawling on the ground then that even the fuzzbutt was getting the shivers.

After falling one too many times, Shadow had managed to grab hold of him first, and following that, Naruto could confidently say that he would never have a more painful, horrifying, and downright emotionally scarring experience in his life. Hinata tried to… help… him, but the immortal woman quickly got rid of the girl by pinning her to the ground with her shadows and continued to mutilate his once new tail. Having several dozen new nerve clusters added to his ass bone was a hard enough experience to get used to, but having said nerve clusters undergo high levels of pain while he was still getting used to them truly pushed the boy over the edge. The next thing he remembered was that Tsunade had shown up and he had effectively assimilated himself with her leg. They then went to the Ōgakari compound 'cause they said that they needed to do a bit more tweaking with his seal, and then he blacked out only to wake up again feeling like absolute shit.

… Wait… not completely like shit. He could hear a woman humming and his head was resting on something soft. He could feel someone gently caressing his forehead and he could honestly say that this was one of the few times in his life that he could feel… safe…

"He's waking up…" The female voice mused as she started to apparently play with his hair… "He really does look like both of us. He has your eyes and hair… and my face… he must have a lot of admirers…"

"What?" Naruto grumbled to himself as he tried to open his eyes and focus his vision. Within a few seconds he saw a beautiful red headed woman smiling gently back at him. It took him a few moments to realize that he was staring at the image of his mother. "Damn…" He grumbled to himself in a depressed tone. "… not this dream again…"

"Hi son!" Crypt said gleefully as his head popped into view, shocking both the woman and the boy. "How was school today?"

o. o. o.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Roared a hysterical voice in the distance, catching everyone's attention while they were going over the second scenario being explained to them.

"That didn't sound good…" Jiraiya mused. "Do you think something went wrong with the seal?"

Ghost smirked. "No. That was clearly a scream of extreme mental scarring and traumatization. The brat's fine. Now if you would please look back at the graph so we can explain to you the statistics and risks should Akatsuki change tactics and decide to move 4 at a time…"

o. o. o.

Crypt giggled insanely while the top half of his body was currently planted firmly into the ground. "Don't forget to do your homework and drink plenty of Nuka-Cola… make sure to watch out for raiders, and don't talk to the super mutants…"

"Well, this certainly wasn't the way we expected to meet up again as a family…" Minato grumbled as he watched Kushina clap her hands in rage and saw Naruto hug himself desperately and try to purge the new horrible images and thoughts from his mind. "Did you have to be so rough with him, Kushina? I mean, he did just bring you back without releasing the Kyūbi and everything…"

The Blood Red Habanero shot her husband a lethal glare. "My son had just laid eyes on me for the first time in over a decade, and this… this BASTARD had to go ahead and possibly scar him for life at that moment!" Her rage was still there, but Minato could see tears forming. "You used the last bit of my chakra to make the seal so I could see him again, and just when I could talk to my son for the first time…" Some tears actually fell. "You heard what he said, Minato! He's had dreams about being with us…"

Minato sighed as he walked to his wife and hugged her just as tightly as he did several minutes beforehand when she had first appeared from the massive sealing arrangement that Crypt had made. He made note of several interesting formations the man had used before the glowing had grown too bright… and after it had died down, nothing was left but his son lying unconscious on the ground… and his beautiful wife, who he thought he would never see again standing nearby. "It's okay…" He whispered as he held her in his arms. "We have all the time we need now to be a family again. I've been back for a while now, so I can say that something like this won't hurt our chances of being a family…"

"Oh god…" Naruto mumbled with wide eyes, clearly not aware of anything around him. "Why did you give me such horrible visions? …They will haunt me for the remainder of my life…"

Minato chuckled nervously as he felt Kushina's temper rise again. "… much." He finished weakly before regaining his composure again. "For now, let's try to get this right again… and I'll make sure that Crypt doesn't get near us this time…"

The red headed woman stepped away from her husband and sniffed. "You better, otherwise I'll remind you why you never won an argument against me…"

"I thought you already do that…" Minato chuckled nervously before Kushina socked him in the stomach, causing him to hunch over in pain.

"I'll do it more…" She grumbled before walking up to Naruto again and attempting to calm him down. "Shhh… It's okay, Naruto-kun, it's okay. The scary man is gone now. It's just us now… you, me, and your father…"

Naruto paused and shakily looked up to see Kushina and farther back Minato smiling at him… and even further back, Crypt planted upside down into the ground if his coat was any indication of his identity. "Wh-what?" He mumbled to himself, definitely confused. "You… you're alive… and here? Why… how?"

Minato chuckled as he walked forward. "You think I was the only one that put some chakra into that seal of yours? My chakra was only acting as a failsafe. Your mom was the one who was holding back the Kyūbi all this time… It just took a while longer for your interesting friends to take her out without breaking the seal…"

Naruto swallowed heavily. "What? Why didn't you tell me that?"

The Fourth sighed. "We didn't want you to try and toy with the seal, Naruto. It would have killed Kushina and myself in more ways than one if you ended up killing yourself to bring her back. It was also because… well…"

"I was the Kyūbi's jinchūriki before you…" The redhead smiled sadly. "Because I was pregnant with you, the seal weakened, and that's when Madara took his chance to kill us, destroy Konoha, and gain control of the Kyūbi… my guess is that Minato-kun and the rest didn't want you to feel guilty and think that you were the reason why we died…"

The boy looked down sadly, not denying that the thought would have crossed his mind. "I guess you must have had it tough, too… being a jinchūriki…"

Kushina smiled as she rocked her son like she had dreamed of doing for so long. "I did have some trouble… but most of the teasing stopped after I, um… took care of some of the more annoying bullies…"

Minato deadpanned. "She means she beat the living daylights out of them for teasing her when we were little." He took in a deep breath. "To be honest, Naruto, no one knew that your mother was the container of the Kyūbi other than the old man and his advisors, but that didn't mean that she had it easy. She moved here when we were kids… and because of her personality…"

"Which is one of the main reasons why you love me so much…" The kunoichi smiled dangerously and causing the Hokage to back up nervously. "… I stood out a bit too much." She sighed before calming down sadly. "Naruto, I'm so sorry that all this happened to you… we never wanted you to have such a heavy burden placed on you in the first place…"

The jinchūriki responded by practically tackling his mother. "… You're here…" He mumbled into her gradually wetting stomach. "… You're really here… you're not a dream…"

That did it for the woman as she too burst into tears and hugged her son with all she could muster and Minato walking to them to join the moment.

All three were alone in their moment, a family again, and none of them noticed that Crypt had long since disappeared from the area…

o. o. o.

Iwa:

"Are you kidding me?" Kurotsuchi roared as Ōnoki sat at his desk, ignoring her while trying to set the massive pile of paperwork in front of him on fire with his mind. After his talks with Sarutobi, he was really considering stepping down from his position of power in the near future… as soon as he could find someone that actually could do the job well without killing everyone…

"Huh? I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you had something important to talk about…" Ōnoki grumbled as he reached for the first in a long line of folders. "Unless you have the secret of doing paperwork faster, you can leave now…"

The woman looked at Ōnoki dumbfounded. "I don't believe this! You saw the brat! You saw what he could do, yet you still don't think he's a Namikaze or a threat to the village?"

Thump. Ōnoki's stamp slammed on top of the first of a long number of documents for that day. "Kurotsuchi. I don't care what you saw…" Thump. "What you think…" Thump. "Or what you feel…" Thump. "The fact of the matter is that the kid, while he may possibly be a member of the Uzumaki clan…" Thump. "Has no distinct ties to Minato Namikaze other than his looks that we could use as proof, even if we had any." Thump. "In addition to that, he seems to be well within his mind…" Thump. "Is loyal to his village…" Thump. "And prefers to not cause trouble other than the occasional practical joke, from what Sarutobi has told me…" Thump. "Who, I might add, sees the boy as a grandson of sorts." Thump. "Even if he was in some way related to Namikaze…" Thump. "Who, other than decimating our forces, was notorious for actually being a decent human being, unlike some other shinobi I could mention…" Thump. "There is no real reason to kill him, since he poses no threat to us or has any grudge against us in any way." Thump. "That being said, now that I have talked to Saru, he will no doubt be wary of anything to do with our forces and his own, especially if the kid is involved." Thump. "If he is killed and we are found to be related to it…" Thump. "You can rest assured that there will be war." Thump. "And from what we've seen during the invasion…" Thump. "I'm fairly certain that we would either lose…" Thump. "… or we would leave ourselves so incredibly weakened that one of the smaller nations would be able to take us out. That being said…" Thump. "We will treat him like any other Konoha shinobi…" Thump. "Leave him alone unless his mission would cause debilitating effects on Iwa…" Thump. "Or unless his mission clashes with your own."

The woman frowned, her temper getting the better of her again and causing her to momentarily forget who she was talking to. "I can't believe this! Just because you're scared of possibly fighting a war against Konoha, who would probably back out at the last second like they always do, you won't even CONSIDER the possibility of taking out a potential major threat to the village?"

He sighed as he calmly put down the stamp and glared at his subordinate. "Let me make this clear once and for all, Kurotsuchi. And just so we're perfectly clear, I will let you know that I have said this to more than a few shinobi over the past decade. I wouldn't give a _flying fuck_ if the brat came here today on top of Gamabunta's head claiming that he had not only mastered Hiraishin and Rasengan, but made a technique that let him blow people's heads up by looking at them funny. I would then only barely consider the possibility of putting him in our Bingo Book, so long as he does nothing that would indicate him raising a hand against us."

"The village comes _first_. Not revenge. Not pride. Not honor. I have met many loved ones of those I've killed in war, and you know what? Many tried to kill me, but most simply let it go, because they died in war. The ones that died knew they were risking their lives. Their loved ones knew there was a good chance they wouldn't come back. I knew that I could die and damn near did at least a hundred times, and I can assure you that Namikaze knew that too." He raised his killing intent to express his ire at the subject, reminding the shrinking woman in front of him _exactly_ who she was talking to.

"We all risked our lives at some point fighting. That is WHAT WE _DO_. To go about moaning like a sore loser and blaming the child for the father's deed is disgraceful and pathetic. To blame a child just because he LOOKS like he MAY be the son of the man and risk the safety of the village doing so is beyond dishonorable and not even in the realm of logical or reasonable, and I have spent too much of my dark and bloody life trying to raise the name of Iwa above its peers to see some paranoid group of fucking idiots ruin it at the end of my lifetime. If I so much as hear the subject coming from you, or think that you are going behind my back to end the child, there will be no public trial. There will be no public execution. Everyone will think you have moved away, and not even your ashes will be found." The room was ice cold to the pale woman as she shivered, knowing that Ōnoki would make good on his threat. "Do I make myself clear?"

Kurotsuchi gave her leader the smallest of nods, as she was still paralyzed by being the focus of her leader's wrath. Despite how tired he acted, how odd he looked, and how old he was, she had no doubt that he could easily kill her if he wanted to.

"Good." He growled. "Now get out of my office, and pray that we don't have to have this conversation again…"

He got in response a cloud of smoke where the woman once was.

"… I would say that you were a bit rough on her… but considering what just happened and what you do, it seems pretty much deserved…" Rōshi sighed, making himself known as he leaned against the wall where he was from the very beginning. "… I doubt she'll be quiet for more than a few weeks, though… a month, tops."

"That's only if I put her on extended missions…" Ōnoki grunted. "So long as I show her that I'm still pissed at her at regular intervals, she'll keep quiet. Even if she's a special jōnin, she's going to get nothing but weeklong missions at the longest… honestly, what is with these latest generation ninja? It's like they have completely forgotten the fact that letting your emotions getting the better of you will get you killed!"

"Blame the parents." Rōshi mused as he took a brief swig of beer. "They're sore losers about the war and won't shut up about it. Still livin' in the past. The rage spreads to the kids, who have nothing better to do than inherit their grudges…" He burped. "That's part of the reason why I left in the first place. Needed to clear my head up before I went nuts… and that's not a good thing, with old shit thrower still here…" He patted his stomach sarcastically."

Ōnoki rose an eyebrow. "You didn't say that when you handed in your retirement letter…"

"Shouldn't have had to." Rōshi grumbled before taking another sip of beer. "I checked the boxes that indicated 'decreasing mental stability' and 'frequent unstable violent battle flashbacks' in the reasons section of the paper. You're the ass that didn't look at it before you threw it in the fire."

Ōnoki slapped his forehead in frustration. "I'm glad to know you had so much faith in me at one point…" He grumbled before going back to his stack of papers to reject. "If it makes you feel any better, while you were out 'recovering', I've gone through several mountains worth of papers to keep this blasted village running…" He paused and looked at his friend curiously again. "Since you decided that you wanted to be an emissary to Konoha, I guess that means that you're all better now…"

Rōshi shrugged. "Not all, but certainly better than the average shinobi that's survived through several wars now. If you're still worried, I'll make sure that if I do snap, it won't be in any major village…"

The Tsuchikage sniggered. "Good. I don't want to give you the 'I hate war' speech too…" He sighed as he went through the papers again. "As soon as I get through with most of this junk here, I'll start working on the documents to make you an emissary. The clan council won't be too happy, but then again, they like potential war even less, so they'll learn to deal with it. Heh, I've heard that Saru only recently decided to crack down on that annoying civilian council of his… huh?" He blinked as Rōshi tossed him a letter with his name on it. "What's this?"

The jinchūriki smirked. "No clue. Saru told me to toss it to you when you started to work on your papers again. He had trouble not smiling when he gave it to me too. Mentioned something about the other bet you made along with who would last the longest…"

Ōnoki paled as he remembered exactly what Rōshi was talking about and opened the letter slowly. As soon as he did, he took out its contents. A single picture of the Hokage's office, with Sarutobi comfortably reading a copy of Icha-Icha, smoking his pipe and giving a peace sign with his free hand while three clones of the old man were at his desk, clearly working on the paperwork. On the bottom of the photo, a message was clearly written in his handwriting, causing Ōnoki to scream out in rage and envy.

_I win. Hope this makes a decent early retirement present._

_Saru._

o. o. o.

In one of the smaller elemental countries:

"Listen to me, damn you!" Zabuza roared as the group traveled to its next destination, the capitol of the Flower Country (A/N: No clue what this country's real name is, just making it up), the country between the Land of Rice Paddies and the Waterfall Country.

"Hm?" Scabbard said, snapping out of his delirium. "Sorry, I thought I heard someone scream out in frustration, anguish, rage, glee, and embarrassment. It amused me…"

"Fuck your amusement!" Zabuza growled. "I was asking as to why I'M the one getting a pay cut when panda girl here was the one who summoned you on your head!"

Despite Zabuza's near homicidal raging and the level of discomfort the rest of the group was showing, Scabbard remained the same. "Simple. You are the leading shinobi while I am gone, hence anything that goes wrong is your fault. Likewise, if something is done right in my absence, you will get the most of the credit." There was a brief pause before the immortal turned to the genin. "That being said, you three handled yourselves quite well for being exposed to such high level opponents so early on. I will make sure to make a note of it in my mission report and request a raise for all of you for exceeding expectations so long as you continue your good work…"

"All it will take is one swing…" The swordsman muttered insanely to himself as he took out his sword. "No one will have to know… it will be our little secret…"

Looking up to the dark sky again, Scabbard hummed to himself before jumping down to a clearing on the ground. "Despite our small detour, we are still well on time to make it to our scheduled destination by tomorrow. Let's camp here for the night. It would be too dangerous to keep going through the woods in this lighting…"

The rest of the shinobi instinctively followed the man to the ground before turning to each other. Since Scabbard was technically the client, he was exempt from the camping setup procedures and more importantly, exempt from lookout duty. He made his own tent and helped out a little, but the bulk of the work was left to the rest of the group. "What's the order for tonight again?" Tenten asked as she took off her travelling bag and looked for her scroll with the camping equipment inside.

"Considering what happened recently, I would suggest going by pairs to be safe." Zabuza grunted while putting his personal grudges to the side at the moment. "Strawberry boy on one shift, me on the other since we have the best scouting ability here…"

"Agreed…" Lee shivered. "It would be most dangerous if those two men managed to catch us off guard…"

"I agree as well…" Neji mused, trying to keep his nerves together at the thought of being attacked at night by the two horrifying men.

"While your planning is sound, you shouldn't have to worry so much…" Scabbard stated as he set up his own personal tent. "Before I set off my signal, I had adjusted the structure of the base so that it would take both of them at least 33.42 hours to escape, from what information I know of them…" He smirked to himself. "Especially since I managed to diffuse the remaining clay that the blonde one used in his jutsu before I was summoned at the last second…"

"As comforting as that sounds, we're still pulling those shifts." Zabuza growled as he cleared out a section for a small fire pit. "I've heard about Sasori before, and let me tell you, I've had loads of bad memories dealing with normal puppet users, let alone the best one that's alive today. Poison specialists always did get on my bad side…"

 _'No wonder he runs away from Anko…'_ Mentally mused the genin as they went through their tasks.

Tenten sighed as she went through the woods to collect some firewood. Almost immediately after the entire group had gotten together again, Kimimaro and Scabbard had another private talk before the bone user left in some direction that only he knew led. Afterwards, Scab had made at least 1000 shadow clones, which until that point none of the people there assumed anyone could do other than Naruto, and spread them out to cover their tracks more.

She could honestly say that she had never been more afraid for her life than she had been just a few hours beforehand. The killing intent training helped her get through it, but she could tell that both of those men would have easily killed her. Shivering again, she looked to the side, where her teammates were also gathering materials. Lee seemed to be in the same boat as she was, if not a bit better since he was always borderline disgustingly optimistic, but Neji… Neji had been the most unnerved out of all of them. It was not only his first time encountering an enemy of that level… it had been his first time encountering a person who was interested in taking his eyes. Seal or not, the monster in human form made it perfectly clear that he wanted to twist the Hyūga's body into some monstrosity and make use of his clan's prized possession. What was even worse was that the experience was made immensely more horrifying when the offending person in question seemed to consider doing these things to him as an afterthought, not even really considering it a main goal of his. To be thought of in such a manner was beyond unnerving to the boy as he stumbled through the forest and twitching nervously every other second.

"Neji…" The girl called out, wincing as the boy snapped to look at her with his eyes active and halfway into his basic Jūken stance.

"Tenten…" He breathed out in almost a relieved tone before relaxing again. "What is it?"

She walked over to him, trying to think of what to say next. "Calm down…" She said gently. "Please. You're going to hurt yourself if you keep on acting like this. Even Lee noticed you're acting odd, but he's keeping quiet…"

The normally stoic boy held his breath for several moments before letting it out in a pathetic chuckle. "Heh… I guess it isn't really hard for you guys to notice… yeah, I'm pretty much a mess right now… I probably won't be able to get any sleep tonight."

Tenten laughed nervously. "Yeah, I think the only one that is going to get any sleep is Scab-sensei, and that's because he seems to be confident that he held those two back in the base for a while…"

"Monsters…" Neji whispered to himself.

"Huh?" Tenten asked curiously. "What was that?"

"Monsters…" Neji repeated. "Those two were monsters. The way they acted, the way they talked, moved, breathed, their chakra… they weren't human…" He paused. "When they appeared, I saw a small change in Zabuza and Scab-sensei… it was like their bodies changed to match the two that came for us. The way they moved, the way they breathed, acted… it was almost the same… but different too." He swallowed. "It was like I saw what truly separates the strongest shinobi from everyone else. Even their hearts changed. Each beat was strong but silent, just as controlled as their muscles and every other part of their body…" He paused. "I… I was scared… there was no other way to describe it… I saw what we could truly become… and I was scared…"

Tenten's eyes widened. For all the time she had been Neji's partner and teammate, she had not once heard him not only admit to being afraid, but to express himself in such a detailed way before. Before she knew what she was doing, she was hugging him in a comforting way. True, she still had a small crush on the boy, but after what they had been through, her feelings for the boy had taken a backseat.

"… I was wondering how you were taking the situation…" A third and monotone voice mused, snapping the two from their thoughts. In an instant they had a good 4 feet between them and were on guard for a possible enemy attack, only to see Scabbard walking towards them. "… It seems as if you are dealing things better than I expected… Hiashi will be pleased…" He smiled briefly. "I heard what you said about us… that you think that we are monsters…"

Neji backed up a step. "Well… you see…" He fumbled with his words, not knowing how to deal with the situation, only to stop as he saw the man raise his hand.

"Don't be ashamed about what you said, Neji. You are absolutely right. We are monsters." The man said calmly, getting a shocked reaction from the genin. "Today, you saw what the shinobi world can truly unleash. Yes, you saw much during the invasion, but thanks to much planning and preparation beforehand, we managed to contain much of the damage." He paused. "We shinobi are humans, but we can easily as well be monsters, demons, saints, teachers, teachers, butchers, heroes, strippers, killers, doctors, saviors and a whole list of other things when the situation demands for it and when we choose for it to be true. To pretend as if we are only one of these things and ignore the others was a surefire way to lose your grasp on who you truly are. Don't deny them, but don't let them take control of yourself either." He paused as the words made their way into the student's heads. "The only things you should care about in situations like one you just experienced are these: which monsters are on your side, and am I a big enough monster to take them out or get away? If you think like that, you will at least manage to keep your head long enough to possibly survive and get stronger…"

Neji and Tenten swallowed heavily as the words slowly boosted them with confidence. "Sensei… can I ask you something?" Tenten muttered hesitantly.

"Of course." The man replied. "What is it?"

She released a deep breath as the thought pounded in her head. "How big of a monster do you think we can become?"

The man's face stretched into a one of the widest smiles they had ever seen on him. "Depends…" He chuckled, his eyes glowing faintly. "How big of a monster do you want to be?"

o. o. o.

Hokage's tower, one week later:

"Now that I have become the Hokage, I believe it is about time that I let you know who has become chūnin so that you may further lead our forces and protect our land." Tsunade said with a grin as she stood in front of the Konoha genin who participated in the finals. Each and every one of them were slightly nervous, hoping that they would come back home with the vest in order to honor their families… or simply to come back saying that they didn't screw up as badly as everyone thought they did.

"Neji Hyūga and Lee Rock." Tsunade said in an authoritative tone, causing everyone to stand at attention. "Both of you have displayed tremendous skill in taijutsu and your respective fields. Your talent and expertise were both noted to be of the highest level many of the judges have seen in years. It is little wonder why the Third agreed to allow you two to show your skills one last time in order to prove yourselves worthy of promotion…" Both boys glowed in pride. "However…" She continued, crushing that glow under her feet like Jiraiya's pride. "Becoming a chūnin is more than showing off how skilled you are in combat, but how well you can adapt and plan ahead. While there were some instances of both of you performing some impressive maneuvers and brief strategies, many of the judges felt that neither one of you waited to try and see if there was a way to defeat your opponent other than smashing his face in with your fists or shutting down his body. It is unfortunate, but you two will not to be promoted through this exam. Should it make you feel any better, your names will be put on the watch list for future exams so that the judges will know that you both show promise. This means that it will not take much should you make it to the finals again in another exam in order to get the promotion."

"Thank you, Hokage-sama." Neji bowed. "I will train so that my previous mistakes will not be repeated in my next exam."

"I too will train hard to become better, Hokage-sama!" Lee bowed. "If I cannot get the chūnin vest in the next exam, I will…"

"Lee!" Gai shouted, decking his student. "Wait till Hokage-sama is done with her presentation first! Then we shall train like no tomorrow in order to prepare you properly!"

"Ah… thanks, Gai… I think…" Tsunade laughed nervously before continuing. "Sakura Haruno. You went undefeated in the exams, winning more matches than anyone else participating. Your skills in genjutsu and medical jutsu were praised highly by our judges, second only to your ability to plan ahead of your opponent to ensure your victory and adapt accordingly when the fight was against you. In addition to this, you proved yourself willing to selflessly sacrifice yourself for your fellow shinobi during the invasion." Both time travelers smiled proudly. "You have more than earned your vest, Sakura. Once you have fully recovered, I will more than be happy to assign you your next mission."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Sakura glowed as she put her vest on while still getting used to moving with her stiff back.

"Well done, Sakura." Kakashi said with an eye smile while everyone clapped. "You certainly earned it.

"Damn right she did." Naruto grinned. "She kicked more ass than anyone else that day… well, other than me and Jiji… but still!"

Sasuke slapped Naruto upside the head. "Shut it, dobe. It's Sakura's moment. Don't ruin it…"

Sakura herself teared up as she went to hug her teammates. "Thanks guys… I couldn't have done it without you.

"Ino Yamanaka…" The busty woman continued as everyone calmed down again, causing some people to shift nervously. "You proved yourself to be very well adept in creating effective poisons, applying them to your equipment, and mixing their effects with your clan's techniques to have unusually efficient results. In addition to that, you apparently also received word of the invasion before it happened and prepared large quantities of heavily poisoned weaponry and several doses of the according antidote to give to your fellow shinobi to prepare them better." She held out several letters for everyone to see. "I have been informed by several individuals that they are interested in the mixes you use as well as the recipe. You have impressed many important people with those actions, young one…" She smiled before letting it drop. "However, your actions during the exam proved to pretty much everyone that you still need some mental training before we can trust you with a squad of your own. You will not get a promotion, however your name will also be added to the watch list along with Neji and Lee."

"It's better than nothing…" Asuma sighed with a puff of smoke.

Ino bowed without hesitation. "Thank you, Hokage-sama. It is more than what I deserve for the way I behaved and embarrassed everyone that day. I promise that I will not give anyone a repeat performance…"

"I hope not. We have enough perverts in this village with Jiraiya and Ghost running about…" Tsunade grumbled, getting some sniggers from everyone in the office. She cleared her throat. "Moving on. Tenten Higurashi." The genin stepped forward, nervously looking at her idol in the eyes. "Konoha's Weapons Mistress, huh?" The woman mused with an amused tone, causing the girl to shrink more in her shirt. "In your first match against Shino Aburame, you demonstrated not only your skill in ranged weapons and seals, but you also showed that you were proficient in preparing ahead of time with the knowledge you were given with that large sword you made and the gas that apparently rendered Shino unable to fight…" She paused. "Tell me, why did you not use the gas when the fight started in order to prevent your future opponents from seeing what you could do?"

Tenten looked away nervously. "I… I was told that the judging would be based not on combat ability, but skill and planning ahead. I knew that the gas would work against his insects, but I didn't know how they would work against him, so I decided to wait before using them so I could weaken him a bit before catching him off guard…" She paused. "… I also did it because I believe that Shino is also worthy of becoming a chūnin and should be allowed to show some of his skills before I take the ability to use most of them away…"

"I see…" Tsunade hummed as she went over Tenten's marks. "In your next fight with Sakura, it says that even though you were outmaneuvered, you still fought well and thought ahead, attempting to use your opponent's habits against them and controlling the pace of the fight for as long as you could and preventing your opponent from making seals to cast her illusions. When she did eventually put you under, you managed to cancel your way through a fair number of them before losing under the influence of a multi-layered illusion." She looked at the girl with a critical eye. "You have demonstrated incredible resourcefulness and skill with your weapons despite your limited vocabulary in standard ninjutsu. Your mind was kept calm and only let you down against an opponent who had won partially because she had taken that fact of you into account. With a majority vote, I am pleased to give you your chūnin vest." The woman grinned.

"I-I'm a chūnin?" The girl stuttered disbelievingly, not at all thinking that she would get the promotion before Neji or Lee. "I'm a chūnin!" She repeated, only excited as she grabbed onto the vest and laughed happily.

"Tenten! Your flames of youth burned brighter than the rest of our team's that day! There is no doubt that you would be promoted!" Lee shouted happily as he jumped with her.

"I guess this means that I'm not the team leader anymore…" Neji sighed almost comically as he joined the pair in their celebration.

"Shino Aburame." The woman with the rack continued, causing everyone to quiet down again. "Despite losing in the first round, you have demonstrated your skills quite well. Your control over your hive has been noted several times by those who are more familiar with your clan's jutsu, and your unique combination of taijutsu with those techniques has made you quite the revolutionary in your clan. Along with these new tactics and styles you have made, you still have shown that you are more than willing to utilize and use your clan's original techniques and style to catch your opponent off guard, even though it did not work this time." She smiled as she handed him a chūnin vest. "With a majority vote, it has been decided that you will be promoted. Congratulations."

"Congratulations, Shino-kun…" Hinata said happily.

"All right Shino!" Kiba smirked. "You didn't even need to win a match in order to get a promotion. I should have known…"

"I'm certain your family will be proud when they hear about this." Kurenai said confidently.

Shino bowed as Hinata and Kiba patted his back. "My thanks, Hokage-sama. I will wear this with honor and make sure not to disappoint you."

"If your presentation earlier was anything to go by, Shino, I won't have to worry about that." Tsunade smiled confidently before she turned to the one person who had been half asleep the entire time. "Shikamaru Nara!" She said in a slightly louder voice in order to wake him up. "Glad you could fit us into your busy schedule."

"Oh god… not now…" Asuma groaned with his face in his hands.

Shikamaru responded with an irritated look and a small pout.

"Shikamaru Nara…" Tsunade continued. "In your first match, you were noted to have displayed extremely high levels of coordination, intelligence, cunning and wit. You maneuvered your opponent without her knowing for a fair amount of time before completing your trap, all while revealing little about your jutsu vocabulary…" She paused, giving the boy a critical eye. "In your next match, you quickly found yourself on the receiving end of an unknown and powerful jutsu, which you not only countered with your own, but revealed one with just as much potential as the one you were up against. The fight soon escalated, despite your efforts to end it quickly, and resulted in you using a technique that many claim could take out a boss summon and would have won you the match had you not run out of chakra…" Everyone looked at the woman expectantly as she took out a vest and a scroll. "Because of the potential you have shown both as a strategist and as an offensive ninjutsu user, you are promoted to chūnin. Should you continue to prove yourself within the next year, we will consider testing you for the special jōnin position…"

Shikamaru's eyes momentarily widened as he received the vest. "… Troublesome…" He muttered, getting a slap on the back of the head by Ino.

"Don't you DARE complain, Shika! At least YOU don't have to go through the entire Chūnin Exams again!" The blonde girl growled.

"Yeah, yeah…" The Nara sighed before bowing to Tsunade. "Thank you for the praise, Hokage-sama."

Asuma sighed. "Past or future, that kid still has to work on that attitude of his…"

"What does that mean?" Kurenai asked curiously, overhearing her boyfriend's musings.

"Uh… just making comments about how lazy he is…" The man replied almost nervously.

Tsunade paused as she glanced at Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata before smirking. "Chōji Akimichi…" She said, causing everyone to stumble momentarily since before the woman had been going in order of the tournament roster. "In your fight, you not only displayed your familiarity with your clan's techniques, but you also showed that you were also willing to try and use them with other jutsu in order to increase their efficiency, and you used them with devastating effects. You have created your own supplementary jutsu in order to make what you know more efficient and in the process have made your clan more of an asset to the village than ever. You also showed that you could keep a calm mind when against an opponent and restrained yourself from attacking in a way that would almost certainly cause you to lose. It is not often that an Akimichi progresses this far at such an early age, but the judges have seen what you can do and what you are capable of, and have decided that you will be promoted by a majority vote." She handed the shocked boy a chūnin vest. "Congratulations.

"Not bad, Chōji…" Shikamaru clapped with a small smirk.

"I'm not surprised." Naruto laughed. "Chōji did more damage to the arena than the rest of us and the invasion combined."

"Thanks, Naruto… I think…" Chōji nervously chuckled as he put away the vest. Because he had his Akimichi armor on, he couldn't put the vest on over it without some issue.

"Hinata Hyūga!" Tsunade continued, getting the room quiet once again. "In your fight, you not only displayed technique and control that were beyond anything expected of you, but you also demonstrated several jutsu that were used only by you and were acceptable by your clan's rather harsh standards. In addition to this, you managed to display that you could adapt to seemingly impossible situations…" Everyone glanced at a sheepish looking Naruto. "… and after receiving some extra information from certain individuals, showed to us that you could plan to use your opponents' weaknesses in ways that would catch them off guard without them knowing until it was too late. You have impressed many people, Hinata, and because of it, I proudly award you with the chūnin promotion, and also notify you that, like Shikamaru, should you continue to show promise within the next year, you will be recommended for special jōnin rank."

Hinata's voice got caught in her throat as she received the vest. She had rarely been complimented so much by someone of such high standing. Her father would be elated to hear of this… and the elders would be, too. "Th-thank you Hokage-sama…" She stuttered, not sure if she was awake.

"Of course she would get such a promotion! She's Hinata, for crying out loud!" Kiba smirked as he patted the nervous girl on the back.

"Sasuke Uchiha…" Tsunade said, momentarily surprising everyone since Naruto technically was next. "You technically won your only match before the invasion started, even if it was only due to your opponent forfeiting the match at the last moment…" Naruto started to sweat as the woman gave him a death glare, reminding him that he had lost the woman a very healthy amount of ryō in the process. "… Despite this, you also proved yourself quite capable with your extremely wide range of jutsu and your unique adaptation to the various situations that your opponent put you through. I have also read reports from your teacher that the techniques you demonstrated, minus Blaze Edge, which you claim you created yourself, were all taught to you by Kakashi himself and that you have only used your dōjutsu to aid your training when it was required. Your personality has been noted to have improved drastically since you were promoted to genin and you are now willing to work with others frequently." She smirked. "You've honored your family greatly by the way you performed and acted, Sasuke. They would have been proud to have seen you in action. That is why the judges have decided to promote you to chūnin. Congratulations."

"Way to go, teme…" Naruto smirked as he patted the Uchiha on the back. "You got promoted, you pissed off a Sannin, and you got a chance to legally set me on fire. Not a bad Chūnin Exam, eh?"

Sasuke smirked as he put on the vest. He would have to find something that would match it, or have a new outfit custom made later. "Not bad… though I could have done without the whole invasion thing…" He said with an arid reply, causing everyone to chuckle.

"Oh details, details…" Naruto waved his hand in the air, pretending not to care.

"Naruto Uzumaki." Tsunade stated firmly, causing everyone to snap back to attention. Oh, she was going to enjoy this. "During your fights in the finals, you demonstrated more jutsu than any other shinobi participating, many of which in their entirety were unknown to all but the creator of the moves himself. You showed everyone that you are not only capable of fighting beyond expectations in a straight up duel, but also more than able to plan ahead in order to both escape potential traps and prepare your own. In addition to that, it was noted that you used and combined some of the jutsu in your library in unique ways to ensure your victory." She paused for dramatic effect. "On the other hand, the judges didn't like how you lashed out at the proctor after your match with Sasuke…" Everyone's face fell in disbelief. "But since I had such a wonderful example of how said proctor treats you in general a few days ago, I can just ignore that part…"

 _'She's doing this on purpose…'_ Mused everyone in the room as they stared at the woman disbelievingly.

"I have also read that you were involved in various parts of the invasion…" Tsunade continued. "You not only managed to organize your teammates and allies adequately when the invasion started, but you aided them with the use of your shadow clones, helped escort civilians with more of your clones, and participated in several skirmishes against the enemy until it was deemed that you were too low on chakra to continue without getting in the way. It is because of this and your unquestionable loyalty to your comrades and this village that I will not only award you with the rank of chūnin, but inform you that you will not be required to take the examinations to become a special jōnin." Everyone's eyes started to bug out. "Instead, several other ranking shinobi and I have developed a small list of requirements, including ones that were on the original prerequisite list to achieve the rank, for you to complete before getting your next promotion. I'll give you the list in a little bit, but one of the requirements is participating in several high ranked missions." She smirked as she looked at the boy with the shocked look on his face and tossed him his vest. "You impressed a lot of people out there, brat. Try not to screw it up."

"Uh huh…" The boy said dumbly as he barely kept his hands on the vest thrown at him.

 _'Well, at least it's better than calling me Granny in front of his friends…'_ The woman mentally chuckled as she sat down at her desk again. "That being said, congratulations again, all of you. You have all fought hard to get where you did. Now everyone enjoy your next few days off… except for Sasuke, Kakashi, and Naruto." Everyone looked at the woman oddly. "I decided to inform you of your next mission a few days early to help get you prepared." She turned to Sakura. "I apologize, Sakura, but due to your condition, you won't be able to take part in the mission yet."

Sakura bowed. "I understand, Hokage-sama. Just make sure that you pick someone with a lot of patience to replace me. They'll need it…"

"Don't worry. I believe I chose the right person to step in for this mission…" Tsunade chuckled as everyone left, patting the still dazed Naruto on the back and telling him he did good. As the last person exited the room and the door closed, Tsunade's demeanor hardened and took out a scroll. "Since you have all proven yourselves to be capable shinobi that have shown experience on bodyguard missions before, I believed that this mission would be appropriate to assign to you. It's an A-rank mission to protect the actress Yukie Fujikaze while she makes her new movie…"

"I've heard of her…" Sasuke mused as Naruto's eyes flashed in recognition of what mission he was being assigned. "Sakura's been going on about her movies lately. I've never liked them much, but apparently she's very popular."

Naruto grinned. "Heheh. Finally, we get assigned a high ranked mission instead of accidentally getting stuck with one by accident and being unprepared for it. This will be so much easier…" He paused as everyone stared at him skeptically. "What? Zabuza, Orochimaru, Itachi… seriously. Every time we're set up against some kind of monstrously strong enemy, it's when we were assigned to some low key mission or something completely unrelated to them! At least THIS time we'll have time to prepare for them and expect at least something CLOSER to that level trying to kill us…"

"Hm… understood…" Kakashi mused in his usual bored and carefree tone while making a mental note to read some of the missions that were assigned to his students more carefully from now on. "By the way, who's our fourth member that you mentioned?"

Kakashi was answered by the door behind him opening slowly to reveal Haku in proper shinobi attire. "You wanted to see me, Hokage-sama?" She smiled gently.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ah chaos, thy name is sleep deprivation.

So thus begins MY version of the filler arc, where I will try to mix things up a bit. I will use at most 2 or 3 actual filler arcs from the anime that I might find useful, and 1 or 2 events that I myself will make up completely before getting the time skip. At which point, either I will have killed myself, or you would have lost interest in this story.

So my last year of college is starting in a few weeks… goodie. I can already hear my brain cells screaming in protest. Thank god I covered most of the hard stuff I needed to graduate last year. Here's to another 40-50k into America's great educational system… blah.

Oh, you guys are going to love this. My sister and my dad are in China right now for this teaching program, some part that doesn't get much western attention. Dad's trying to teach some kids there English, and the midget helps translate for dad since she speaks a bit of mandarin. It's funny because my dad has a habit of not shutting up, and my sister is the one that has to explain to these confused women why the hell this foreign man is talking to them in a language they CLEARLY can't understand. The best part is, it turns out that the guys there NEVER get westerners there, and since my sister is somewhat shy (except when we're making fun of dad), tall for a girl in general, somewhat skinny, and has blue eyes, she's a fucking celebrity there. They call her the girl with sapphire eyes and everything, and since she doesn't like being the center of attention, I'm laughing my ass off. I did laugh it off when dad told me over the phone that she got several arranged marriage proposals since she's only a senior in high school. Best part is that she had to deal with that for 4 weeks, so her nerves are probably shot by now. My nerves on the other hand are still busy rolling on the floor. I've been to China before, but I've obviously never been to that part…

I'm seriously never going to let her live this down.

EVER.

So new review goal is 2k reviews by chap. 70. Even though that seems a bit much, from what I've seen these past few months it shouldn't be that bad if everyone pretty much reviews like normal… really I just want to catch up to Hektols for the sake of doing so.

Anyways, Review, worship the log, laugh at the girl with sapphire eyes without restraint, and review again.


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

51: (Cracks open a fortune-cookie) Third Fang says: all males no matter how wimpy or pathetic they may be, should be allowed to be the focus of a GAR moment at least once in their life. … Third Fang has been the center of at least 20 GAR moments in his life so far. …Suck it… sort of… (If you don't know what GAR means, look it up, and firmly engrain it into your vocabulary. It is one of the few memes that I actually care about and recognize.)

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari compound:

Ghost snorted. "You're shitting me. He actually summoned a Prinny? Better yet, one that was under Etna's command?"

Scab nodded. "Yes… and given that technically he could have accidentally summoned any Prinny, we are fortunate he didn't summon one of the stronger ones… or worse, Baal…"

Zuzushi grunted from her resting perch on the ceiling. "Squeak! Chirp snort squeak!"

"It's not a matter of him being at level 9999 Zuzushi, you know that any of us can beat the ever living shit out of 1000 of him at once if we wanted to, but the damage control afterwards would be pretty much impossible to piece together." Shadow sighed. "Still, it was a surprise to find out that this world is somewhat close to the Nether universe domain. I'm half expecting Laharl or Zetta to jump in without warning now…" She shuddered. "Or worse… Mickey…"

Everyone shuddered at the thought of what would happen if that particular demon overlord visited this realm. They could handle him without a problem… it was just that he was actually a nice guy… who happened to be fairly powerful, and had two other personalities that liked to kill things indiscriminately. Dealing with him was always difficult to do without something going horribly wrong.

"Moving on, are we all caught up on the differences?" Waltz grumbled out loud.

Ghost nodded as he lazily juggled some of his swords. "Yeah. First off, I apologized… sort of… to the brat for being wrong on what we thought generally happened the night the Kyūbi attacked. You know, the only child born then and that sort of crap. I then talked to Kushina and Minato to get the whole story, since we never really bothered to find out what happened in this world. Apparently, here Kushina tried to drag fuzz butt back into her while it was getting out and accidentally split the chakra in half. Madara got in the way just as she was dragging half into her and bam, new jinchūriki controlling half a bijū." He shifted over so he could scratch himself. "Afterwards, it almost went exactly the same, except Minato got a bit of damage in his fight with Madara and didn't need the Kyūbi's claw in him to be put on death's door. He used both his and Kushina's chakra for the Shiki-Fūjin at the last moment, and that's why the seals in this and the original worlds are near identical."

"Think that will change things a lot in the long run? From what we've heard, things have been exactly the same until after Pain's invasion, which is kinda odd since the butterfly effect should have gone full blast for something like that by now." Shadow mused.

"Not necessarily." Scab commented. "Remember, if a container dies, the bijū will just reform after a certain amount of time. It is possible that the other half that Minato originally sealed in himself reformed and Madara got his hands on it later… though at this point, it really doesn't matter, since we still don't have that much information." He glanced at Ghost. "Speaking of the parents, did you give Naruto the possession puppets?"

The blind one nodded. "Yeah. Of course, they're only to be used in a worst case scenario, but better safe than sorry. I also told him that Kushina knew Sasuke's mom, so he should 'introduce' them when he felt that the time was right."

"Heheh…" Crypt giggled from under the table. "Play soon?"

Scabbard sighed. "Who knows? From what I've found out, most of the 'filler' missions somewhat happened in this world, but with different teams and the same results. We can for the most part ignore them unless we find that we can do something interesting with them later. Odds are, we're going to be laying low for a while unless the butterfly effect from what we did hits soon…" He looked at Ghost. "How's Naruto's progress?"

Ghost shrugged. "I started to teach him that trick I use to warm up the air around me whenever we're in those cold areas…"

Waltz deadpanned. "So that's why I heard screams of help from the freezer yesterday…"

Shadow smirked. "Did you remember to actually teach him what to do before you stuck him in there this time? He nearly bit the dust when I let him out after 5 hours…"

"I forgot I left him there that one time. Sue me…" Ghost grumbled. "He's on a date with Hinata now. I cut him some slack and left some of his clones in the freezer this time. He should have it down by the time he leaves at the end of the week."

"Speaking of potential spouses, I have noticed that you and Hana and Anko are closer now than you were before…" Scab mused. "… as well as the fact that many Inuzuka have not taken kindly to our presence…" Ghost started to sweat. "… Not to mention Tsume's curious condition. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?"

o. o. o.

In the Ōgakari training area:

"I hear you're going with the brat and Kakashi to Snow soon…" Zabuza grunted as he deflected another flurry of ice senbon. "Seems like everyone's expecting to get some scrolls for you to work on."

Haku dodged underneath the large sword before jumping back to avoid a kick. Zabuza's fighting style was somewhat unique in that he wasn't afraid to switch to pure taijutsu in the middle of a fight despite his mastery of his sword. Mostly, it was because it was nearly impossible for him to efficiently use the Silent Killing Technique with that massive thing while hiding in a group of enemies. It was simply too big. That, and when you used a blade that large, you quickly learned that it was bloody difficult, if not impossible, to quickly parry, guard, or simply maneuver the blade the way that you could with normal sized blades. When you were fighting shinobi, that was a definite disadvantage, because every scrap of speed counted.

The lost maneuverability had nearly killed him a few times before he'd found a way to compensate for it. Even with his upgraded sword and his ability to wield it better by channeling water chakra into it, though, he still preferred to go barehanded when dealing with a tactical fight, which was why he could keep up with a tricky opponent like Kakashi. "Yes. They have all mentioned encountering hyōton ninjutsu there. I myself am curious as to how well I will fight when I have the field advantage…" The girl replied as she blocked the massive sword with her ice encrusted arm. "Ice Style: Tail of the Northern Dragon…" She whispered.

The swordsman smirked momentarily before he had to jump back when he saw several of the scales in front of him stand on end. "Not bad…" He grunted, trying to ignore the numerous senbon that he couldn't block or evade. "You're getting faster setting up that new move of yours…" He paused as Haku pointed the end of the icicle like structure at him and the tip began to glow faintly. "Um, Haku? I thought we were only sparring…" He gulped nervously as he began to franticly create mist from the pommel of his sword without seals, another huge boost to the man's range of skills.

"We are…" She muttered as she took careful aim. "I'm testing out a new function of this technique… please be careful, Zabuza-sama. I haven't completely mastered it yet…"

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

"I'm still having trouble believing you won more matches than anyone else in the Exams…" Kin grumbled as she looked at the game board between her and Sakura.

"Make one more comment about my hair and I'll prevent you from continuing with your rehabilitation for another week." Sakura growled as she moved her piece. "Your move."

Kin smirked. "I was just going to say that in general, you don't look the part. Just looking at you makes me think you're a textbook fangirl…" She reached over and moved her piece, mentally patting herself on the back for not breaking it. It had been weeks since she began her rehab, and only recently had she regained enough control over her muscles to not break everything around her by accident. She was told that soon enough, she would even be able to use normal tableware again instead of that crappy plastic stuff she'd been using since she awoke. "You're up."

Sakura smirked at the comment. "Good. No one is more underestimated than a fangirl when she's not stalking her prey. It's probably half the reason I'm still alive…"

"For future reference, I'm keeping that fangirl fact in mind." Spoke an almost amused voice from the edge of the room, causing the girls to turn around, surprised, and see Sasuke leaning against the doorway. "Hey, Sakura. I came to let you know that we're leaving for a bodyguard mission in a few days. It's an A-rank, so according to Naruto, we won't be horrifically caught off guard this time… can't say I blame him."

Kin blinked in confusion as she noticed Sakura laughing sheepishly. "There's some kind of hidden joke there, because I don't get it."

"Last time we had a bodyguard mission, it was C-ranked, and in the end, we had to fight one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist, his skilled apprentice, two chūnin, and three special jōnin from Kusa…" Sakura chuckled nervously, causing Kin to gape at the two disbelievingly.

"Bull." The girl responded. "There's no way that's true."

"If we're lying, then why was Zabuza Momochi of the Seven Swordsmen proctoring the first part of the exam?" Sakura smirked, causing Kin's jaw to drop further.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted. "The worst part of that mission was having Naruto try and train us to water walk… no matter how many times he claims it was by accident, that kunai was still way too close to hitting my…" He paused as he looked at Kin. "Now that I think about it, why are you spending time with her, Sakura? Isn't she the enemy?"

Sakura sighed, ignoring the fidgeting of the girl next to her. "From what anyone will let me know, she was used by Orochimaru for some kind of technique before the invasion even started. She somehow survived, but now her muscle control is shot. She often can't grab anything without using enough pressure to break it." She smirked. "Come to think of it, her situation is almost like the idiot's when it comes to chakra control…"

Sasuke blinked before nodding in comprehension. "I get the picture…" He looked at the slightly blushing girl. ' _Ugh, sometimes I wish I was born an Akimichi so I could get these girls off my back… I wonder if Naruto can tell me where he got those hideous jumpsuits of his… no, knowing my fangirls, they would probably turn it into the next fashion statement and all… wear… it… too… Oh dear log, I have to tell dobe about this.'_ He momentarily paused halfway out the door before he turned around and walked back to Sakura while reaching behind his back. "I got you something that I think you'll like a lot…" He smirked.

While Kin thought that it was going to be some sort of romantic gift and made a few choice gag sounds, Sakura could tell that Sasuke's smirk was spurred on by something horrifically embarrassing and satisfying. "What happened this time?" She groaned as she saw her teammate take out a video recorder and flip the screen open.

Kin's eyes widened, having not been exposed to technology on that level before. "What's that?"

"It's a video recorder." Sasuke replied as he pressed the according buttons. "Think of it like a camera, tape, and a screen all in one. The guys we screw around with make them and sell them to the ANBU for high profile missions, but in the meantime, we just use them to record embarrassing moments of each other…" His smirk grew. "And on here is probably the best piece of material to use against the dobe that we will ever have…"

o. o. o.

On the Hokage Monument:

"Hm… I have a sudden urge to hurt Sasuke and Sakura right now…" Naruto mused as he and Hinata were once again cuddling with each other against a tree behind the Fourth's head.

"Would you really just leave me here to make fun of your teammates again?" Hinata pouted with giant puppy dog eyes.

"Of course not." The blonde replied with weeping eyes of his own. "How could you even think that I would do such a thing when I have such a cute girl here right next to me… that can turn my organs to goo if I even moved funny…" He finished with fear in his voice.

Hinata giggled as she leaned up against him. "As long as you know, Naruto-kun…" She sighed contently. "Naruto-kun? What happened to those ears and tail you had earlier?"

Naruto began to sweat a little. "Um… well, the thing is, Ero-nii and Crypt kinda changed my seal so that I could look like that. It was really complicated, so I wasn't paying attention, but it apparently helps me handle larger amounts of the Kyūbi's chakra. I can bust them out whenever I want, but I'm not really used to them yet and having a tail feels really weird… and it still hurts from… you know… the hunt…" He began to shiver. "I'm afraid of the hunt…"

Hinata sweatdropped and laughed nervously as she remembered how she had acted during 'the hunt', as the event was now known throughout the village. She had gotten into a fair amount of trouble with her father and the rest of her clan for the way that she'd acted, even though she could tell that some of the elders and her father were also amused by the antics they'd seen. Her 'punishment', if she could even call it that, was simply additional basic Jūken training, and it was soon lifted after she got her promotion and her special jōnin recommendation later that week. Neji was a bit irritated that he didn't get a promotion as well, but he couldn't really argue with the logic of the judges. He had simply been put up against an opponent that he couldn't afford to show off anything other than his taijutsu skills against.

"Don't worry, Naruto-kun." Hinata whispered as she attempted to calm him down from his mild nervous breakdown. "Shadow-sensei isn't here now, and I promise I won't… act like I did before…" ' _Unless someone else tries to take you away from me…'_ She mentally added before continuing. "Please, can you change again for me?"

Naruto hesitated before his self-control (and Hinata's adorable begging) got the better of him and he subtly shifted his pants so that the tail wouldn't catch on anything. "S-sure, Hinata-chan… just be careful of the tail… it's kinda sensitive…" The blonde paused and focused on his seal, remembering how to trigger the transformation and not accidentally screw something up or do something stupid. Moments later, the requested appendages appeared on his head and waist, causing the girl to stifle a squeal of adoration.

"You're… so cute…" Hinata mumbled into his shirt as she hugged him tightly before stroking his ears. "They're so soft…"

"Yeah…" Naruto mumbled, feeling fuzzy all over once the girl started petting his head, unaware that his tail (with all the bones and tendons healed and reset from Shadow's previous glomping) was lazily swaying side to side to show his comfort. "Soft…" Without even really paying attention to what he was doing, Naruto slumped down and curled into Hinata's lap.

Words could not describe the amount of possessiveness that Hinata felt as she pet her boyfriend's head and stroked his smooth tail. All she knew was that she would most likely attempt to kill anyone that tried to take the boy away from her after this. Said feeling doubled when the boy started to purr as well, and resulted in the boy getting a giant hug from the girl, who was now incapable of any reasonable thoughts.

"… Was I… was I just purring?" Naruto asked, stuck between embarrassed and horrified as he regained coherent thought.

Hinata responded by letting out a very long and content giggling sigh into his body.

"I… see…" He replied in a nervous tone before they were quiet again minus the sound of Hinata snuggling against the boy curled in her lap. "We speak of this to no one. Agreed?"

The Hyūga heiress responded by stroking his fox ears and tail again, sighing in girlish bliss.

Naruto's eyes widened as he immediately began feeling the effects again. "No! Wait, Hinata-chan! …Stoooop. You didn't… answer… my…" Unfortunately, the poor boy didn't finish his sentence, as he succumbed to the petting and began to purr and rested his head in the girl's lap again.

o. o. o.

Inside the soon-to-be whipped boy:

" **Kushina…"** Growled the Kyūbi as he lazily rested his eye's gaze on the unconcerned woman. **"I should have known that it wouldn't be long until those idiots brought you back too, after that fool of a mate of yours returned…"**

The woman smirked. "Careful, Kyūbi. I feel as good as new here, and you still have only half your chakra. It wouldn't take much for me to redecorate this seal to resemble the last one…"

The fox's eyes flashed angrily. **"I should have tried harder to break the seal when you were coming out. Even if I was killed by those annoying servants, at least I would not have to deal with the brat, you, or your husband anymore…"** Its eyes swept the room. **"Where is that sickeningly heroic leader of yours, anyway? I thought he would want to be here to see you try to argue with me…"**

Kushina sighed whimsically and turned around, causing her impressively long hair to sway. "Oh, you mean Minato? Well, he's off decorating an unused part of my son's mind so we can rest there without worrying about you bugging us. I must admit, my son has become something quite impressive…" She paused as she noted that the bijū was smirking and not paying attention to her. "What's so funny?"

" **Oh, I was just curious as to how the kit would react if I told him that you and your mate frequently wanted private time inside his head…"** The Kyūbi replied with a dark chuckle as he saw Kushina's face slowly turn into one of horror.

"You wouldn't…" The woman hissed while frantically going over the subject in her own mind and unfortunately coming to the conclusion that it was bound to happen eventually, since she and Minato were mentally still only in their mid-twenties, and (she) still had many… impulses…

… Like the one that came up the night she first came back…

This wouldn't end well.

" **I would, and you know it."** The monster chuckled as his tails swayed, his amusement immensely apparent. **"I am unable to kill anyone, I am unable to become free, and I am unable to influence my container with my chakra, all thanks to you… so I must make do with torturing him via other means in order to entertain myself…"**

Kushina growled, and her hair stood on end in 9 separate groups. "Kyūbi, so help me, if you do that to my son, I swear I will make the seal you had with me look like an open field of flowers…"

" **And yet, despite that, his trust in you will still be strained… and the punishment well worth your suffering…"** The fox replied, not at all intimidated by the woman's threat. **"Of course, if you haven't yet committed the crime, then you have nothing to worry about. No doubt your son will trust your honest words over mine…"** His grin widened.

"I'm almost afraid to ask, but what are you two talking about?" Minato asked as he walked to the pair.

"Kyūbi is planning on telling Naruto that we… well, you know… had sex while we were here… in his head…" She growled embarrassedly.

" **I'm sure that your new allies will be quite entertained by this new definition of what they call… mind fucked…"** Kyūbi sniggered, loving every moment of this conversation. **"I know I am…"**

Minato sweated nervously. "Uh, yeah, about that… I kinda talked to Naruto about that already…"

Silence.

"Come **again?"** Kyūbi and Kushina said at the same time.

Minato sweat even more, really hoping that this conversation would come later. "Well, you see… we all know that Naruto is really around 17 years old mentally, and because he's been exposed to the Ōgakari for so long, it didn't take him long to, um… come to the same conclusion you two have, once he got over the fact that you're back. So about a day after… our activities, he took me out and asked me for advice…" He stepped back momentarily, not liking the irritated looks that both listeners were giving him. "Long story short… as long as we don't have sex… here… he'll let us out every… once in… a… while?"

The ex-Hokage couldn't say anything else, as he and the Kyūbi were at the same time wrapped and bound by the chakra chains erupting from a very pissed Kushina.

" **Way to go, human…"** Kyūbi growled as it struggled to move. **"Now we're both screwed…"**

o. o. o.

Several days later in a random cave:

The image of the Leader of Akatsuki and his assistant stood in front of the images of Sasori and Deidara. "I assume your small side trip went well…"

"Does it look like it went well? Un?" Deidara yelled as he pointed to his hair, which was still sticking straight out at all angles.

"Explain." Pain ordered Sasori, not at all letting them know that he had just assumed that Deidara had accidentally almost blown himself up again. To be frank, it would have been the 7th time since joining that it would have happened.

"Konoha apparently knew of the base and the kid I had my eyes on…" Sasori grumbled. "They sent Zabuza of the Seven Swordsmen, some genin, and a high level shinobi I have never heard of before to get him. They must have offered the brat something good, since he was with them willingly and my spy told me that he was blindly loyal to Orochimaru…"

"I am surprised that you let them escape…" Pain frowned, disappointed by his minion's failure, even if it had nothing to do with his plans. "Was the Demon of the Bloody Mist that concerning?"

"Screw the sword guy! Hn!" Deidara yelled. "It was that other one! He had as much chakra as Kisame, and he threw around lightning element chakra like it was nothing!"

"Kakashi Hatake?" Pain asked, knowing of only one shinobi in Konoha that had significant mastery of lightning element ninjutsu. "I was not aware that he had such chakra reserves…"

"No…" Sasori growled. "This one had both his eyes and used what looked like a variation of the metal style bloodline limit. When we encountered his group in Orochimaru's base, he had already set up traps to deal with us, almost as if he had been expecting us… which is possible, since he was aware of my spy's identity. He could be a spy master for Konoha that we are not aware of…"

"The bastard somehow managed to get his friends out and trap us in that fucking hole in the ground for over a day! He lined the hallways with metal and had gates set up behind us so we couldn't get out, and before he was reverse summoned, the bastard blasted my reserve clay with his lightning jutsu so I couldn't use it!" Deidara ranted. "Do you know what it's like to be stuck in a hole in the ground with no one to talk to other than THIS guy! Un?"

"He knew too much about our styles and seemed to not be surprised that we were together…" Sasori growled, not paying attention to the teen. "We may have a leak… and it can't be my spies, because I make sure not to bring this idiot along when I get information and he's still relatively new…" He paused. "However, I am still concerned with who and where this guy came from. With the amount of chakra he had and the skills he showed, there should be no way we have not heard of him yet… it was almost as if he was toying with us…"

Pain nodded. "I will make note of this and bring it up with the other members. For now, though, I want you two to prepare for your next mission…" He glanced at Deidara. "… Which includes ensuring that you represent Akatsuki appropriately."

"What the hell do you think I've been doing for the past week?" Deidara growled as he lifted a kunai near his head, showing the stray sparks of electricity jumping from his hair to the knife.

o. o. o.

Elsewhere, in a place that actually has sunlight:

"Well… That was… interesting…" Haku said in a daze as she, Sasuke, and Naruto sat outside a movie theatre. Sasuke had slightly altered his clothing since he received his promotion. He didn't look much different, but if one paid attention, they would notice that his shirt had actually been replaced with an altered chūnin vest that was dyed blue and had sleeves that were slightly thicker than the ones he used to wear.

Naruto's appearance had undergone a similar change in that his sweater had been slightly modified to incorporate a pocketless and dyed chūnin vest with short sleeves and a hood.

"Remind me again why we let dobe hold the popcorn while we were watching the movie from the ceiling?" Sasuke grunted more to himself than anyone else.

"Because you obviously didn't know any better." Naruto chuckled evilly to himself as he finished up the last few kernels of popcorn from the bag he was eating.

"How did you even manage to throw those pieces of popcorn into the mouths, ears, and shirts of the people in the front row while we were in the back?" Haku asked bewildered.

Naruto giggled. "With my skills, I am unbeatable, epic, and amazing. Now bow down and worship your master!"

"How about you bow down so I can kick your ass?" Sasuke growled as he got up.

"Was that a challenge?" Naruto grinned, not paying attention to the frustrated sigh that Haku was letting out. "I don't think you've gotten _that_ much better, teme. In fact, I…" He paused and looked to the side quickly, getting the attention of his teammates.

"What is it?" Haku asked as she reached for her senbon pouch, recognizing the glint in Naruto's eyes.

"A bunch of horses are chasing a single one at full gallop…" Naruto grunted as he shifted over a little bit. "The chasers are armored… and they're headed straight for us…"

Soon enough, the clapping of hooves could be clearly heard and increased in volume before the call of a horse was clearly heard as well. A white horse jumped over the fence… with the actress playing the lead role of the movie they had just seen riding on top of it.

"Well… this just got interesting…" Sasuke mused as the white horse sped off.

"The gate! Jump!" Naruto shouted, just as the gate they were sitting in front of burst open for the masked and armored pursuers.

"Kakashi-san isn't here yet…" Haku mused as she stood up and eyed the horses turn around a building.

"I guess we can afford to kill some time…" Sasuke grinned. "Who's getting the woman on the horse?"

"Me. I can track her easier than you guys, even if it isn't hard." Naruto smirked. "Plus, if it's really the actress, I can get an autograph…"

Sasuke snorted. "Careful. You might make Hinata jealous. You wouldn't want to give her a reason to ask for a hunt again, do you?"

Naruto immediately slumped into a corner and crawled into a ball. "I'm scared of the hunt…"

o. o. o.

Several minutes later:

"Um… What happened here?" Kakashi asked curiously as he saw Haku and Sasuke tying up the armed men.

"Just killing time until you actually decided to show up." Sasuke replied nonchalantly as he finished his knot.

"I see that you are late even when it comes to missions, Kakashi-san…" Haku sighed disappointedly. "I must say that I have lost respect for you…"

Kakashi sweatdropped as he momentarily disappeared and reappeared in the middle of the group, untying the prisoners. "I'll keep that in mind, but at least I didn't assault our client before the mission even began."

Sasuke and Haku blinked curiously before looking at each other to see if the other knew, only to get the same confused look they were giving in response. "…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere:

 _'Holy crap! Have I really been training so much that I can keep up with a horse at full gallop this easily for over 30 minutes? Bushy brows probably could easily do it too, but I mean, seriously!'_ Naruto mentally gaped as he chased after the actress Yuki Fujikaze towards a nearby small village. "Oi lady! Don't you think you're going a bit fast here? My teammates and I save your butt, and you respond by almost running me over with that horse of yours! Act more like the person you're cosplaying, as for crying out loud! Those robes don't look cheap either!"

Of course, the actress didn't reply to his rather obnoxious comments as they dashed through the town, much to the shock and surprise of the villagers, as they saw a woman in very flashy clothing ride her horse full gallop through their town and an odd looking boy keeping up with the horse on foot, yelling childishly after her.

Naruto wasn't surprised when a bunch of kids walked unaware into the middle of the small street. He doubted that it was the same group of kids from last time, but he sure as hell wasn't going to gamble on reoccurring events and hope that Yuki fell off her horse just in time again. "You stupid actress…" He grunted as he released half of his gravity seal while tapping into the air around him and forming a cross seal. In the moments after the woman had realized that there were children in front of her and reacted, Naruto had bolted forward, easily overtaking the horse with several of his clones, grabbed the kids and moved them out of the horse's path before they could be put at risk. The actress fell down like last time, but there was a clone there as well to make sure that she didn't accidentally hurt herself.

"Whoa. Thanks, mister!" Gasped one of the boy's he had rescued. "Are you a ninja?"

Naruto blinked, noticing the kid in his arms for the first time really before laughing sheepishly and scratching the back of his head. "Heheh. You got it!"

Several of the clones dispelled themselves near the children, causing them to huddle around the boy. "Cool!" Shouted another kid. "I bet you do awesome stuff all the time! Like blow things up and fight bad guys!"

Naruto nervously chuckled and looked to the side, trying not to remember that most of the time he was the one being blown up. "Kid, you have no idea…" He paused before looking back. "Oh yeah! But enough about me, the crazy horse lady back there is Yuki Fujika…" He paused as he noted that the woman had disappeared from the immediate area. "…ze …" He grunted, not really surprised that it happened but mentally kicking himself for taking his eyes off of her. "Sorry guys, but I gotta do… ninja stuff now… I think…" He said apologetically before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

Good thing he'd memorized her chakra signature while he was chasing her. Even if civilians have almost no reserves, they still have some chakra flowing in them, and that meant that they had a unique chakra signature. Since he knew what to look for, it would only be a matter of time before he found her…

o. o. o.

Several hours later:

"You know, for a civilian you really are a pain to find." Naruto grumbled as he cornered the actress in an alleyway. "If being an actress falls out for you, I'm sure that you would do well as a spy or something like that…"

"What the hell do you want from me?" The actress hissed as she backed up from the irritated boy.

Naruto held two fingers up. "Two things. A 'Thank you mister handsome ninja person for rescuing me from those scary men and making sure I accidentally didn't commit manslaughter.'" The boy said this part in a high pitched tone and made girly gestures while sparkling in a way only a fangirl would, much to the woman's disgust. Naruto then took out a pen and a pad of paper. "Second, I would like an autograph."

The actress snorted. "I don't do autographs, brat, and I'm not thanking you for anything…"

Poof. Naruto transformed to look like he did before the time skip at that age... minus a few extra years, to make his threat more believable. "Then you'll have to deal with a brat dressed like this stalking you for the entire night in public… what will people think?" His grin widened so that he became more evil looking. "If needed, I'll also start calling you 'mommy' in the middle of crowds, too…"

The woman froze. She could handle annoying stalkers from time to time, this brat wasn't an exception, but if those annoying tabloid newspapers ever heard of THAT, she wouldn't be able to get a moment to herself for months! "Tch. Fine…" She growled as she grabbed the pen and paper out of his hands and began to write on it. "Who may I ask is torturing me into doing this?"

The blonde grinned triumphantly as he struck a pose. "Naruto Uzumaki. Konoha's Feral Gale!"

"Right, right, whatever…" The woman grumbled to herself as she continued to write and glanced to check how close the now prancing boy was standing to her…

 _'Wait… didn't something horrible and painful happen to me the last time this happened?'_ Naruto stalled, momentarily standing still.

Staying to her bitch character, the actress shifted her hair at that moment and squirted some burning fluid from her earring into Naruto's face, causing the boy to swear like a sailor before accidentally knocking over some construction materials and getting buried under a pile of wood.

 _'Oh yeah… that…'_ The boy mentally grumbled as he began to make a check on which parts of his body had splinters and which simply hurt like hell. ' _After this mission, I'm making a list of events where random people on missions try to hurt me… I get wailed on enough at home as it is…'_

"Stupid brat…" The actress grumbled as she tore up the paper and began to walk away. "Next time you want something from someone, don't call yourself some stupid, made-up name…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Ghost blocked out the world as he began to use one of the abandoned training grounds to practice his personal kata. Normally he would do it in his clan compound, but Crypt still hadn't repaired the area after his small mental breakdown a couple of weeks ago because Scab had asked him to do another job. It helped that Ghost had headphones on and was listening to some music as he impossibly slowly went through a breakdancing routine that would normally break the owner's neck if they tried it at any speed.

(Song: Big Blue Dress by Cranius. Watch it. Love it. I normally don't do this, but the lyrics to this song are just too funny to not use.) "I've been kicking ass since the dawn of time. I'm just a killing man that's reached my killing prime. I burn and I plunder as it suits my desire. Weapon of my choice, is great balls of fire. So why, I ask. It doesn't make much sense, that a man of my stature should have to wear a dress. I mean, what, may I inquire, were you thinking on that day? When you conjured up for a man like me in a robe, I look so gaaaaaaaayyy…" The man sung out loud, not at all ashamed of the lyrics to one of, in his opinion, the most amusing songs ever made, while twisting on one of his arms slowly at a painful angle before flipping onto his opposite leg at an equally impossible angle… conveniently getting out of the way of some kunai thrown at him in the process.

"Ahhhhhhhhh. Sit right back and your troubles melt away. Ahhhhhhhhh. He uses fire and his robe looks so gaaaaaaaaayyyy…" The ignorant man continued to sing as he began to pick up his pace with his seemingly random routine, conveniently dodging more kunai as he did so.

The process continued, despite Ghost seemingly not paying any attention at all, and rapidly picked up the pace through three more songs until he was nothing but a blur on the ground due to his irregular but smooth movements mixed with random shuffles and awkward, gender-confusing hip swings.

"Ghost! Stop screwing around! We need to talk!" Shouted Hana as she and Anko walked up to the man, who was at the moment doing pelvis thrusts that launched him a good 6 meters at a time.

"Hm?" The immortal mused as he took out the speakers. "What's up?"

"Who the hell were you training with?" Anko mused as she saw the kunai and shuriken littering the ground, along with some small craters that seemed to be caused by exploding tags.

The man paused. "You mean… that wasn't you guys?"

"We just got here…" Hana deadpanned. "I thought you were more attentive than that…"

He shrugged. "Hey. I was just doing my morning routine when kunai started to fly at me, and since the only people who really do that are the minion and you two, and since he's gone at the moment, I thought it was you guys… plus, I was really into my songs…"

Anko groaned. "Call me crazy, but do you think maybe it might have been someone actually trying to kill you?"

Ghost shrugged again. "Wouldn't be the first time, and now that you mention it, their aim did suck something awful to be any one of you three…"

"Only you, Ghost…" Hana grunted with her head in her hands before getting back to business again. "Look. Even though I straightened things out with mom, a lot of my clan members aren't fine with me being with you, since they know mom got hurt at your place. That being the case, I had to think of something that would at least make them think that things are even between our clans, since some of my family members are as hot headed as Anko…"

Anko nodded. "Yeah. Wait, what?"

"That being said…" Hana continued, ignoring the accusing looks that Anko was giving her. "I thought of something you can do to at least somewhat redeem yourself in my clan's eyes…"

Ghost crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "Just to let you know, my 'I am going to be horribly scarred for life in yet another way' senses are tingling…"

Hana smirked. "Good. You're used to those. Also, I'll need you to turn into that cat form that you showed us that one time…"

o. o. o.

Way up north:

Naruto yawned as the ship pulled up to the giant iceberg that had 'mysteriously' appeared overnight. Now that he was not a childish idiot, he could actually see how to appreciate the giant island like structure and see why people were so awed by them. His yawn, on the other hand, was spurred by the fact that they discovered the giant thing at 6 in the freaking morning, right after his night shift ended, so he was a bit beyond cranky at the moment.

Just like last time, the actress proved to be a pain when they tried to get her on the boat, and like last time, Kakashi had to hypnotize her with his Sharingan in order to get her on. Honestly, he had forgotten how bad the lady's attitude was when he had first met her… He had also forgotten how impressive an actress she was, but it didn't prevent him from mocking and laughing at her relentlessly when she finally woke up on the boat… that didn't earn him any points with her in the personality department.

Still, he felt bad for that old guy Sandayū. He was pretty much the actress's bitch, always begging and pleading for her to do pretty much anything that had to do with work. Ain't no business like show business, after all… or business that involved the violent takeover of entire countries, for that matter…

Something that did, however, unnerve him somewhat, was that when he came across the bar he'd found the woman in… the man that had left as he got there was hiding his chakra signature…

"Hey, Haku…" He grumbled as he walked up to the girl, who had gone on ahead to make sure that the landing area was 'safe'. He was really too tired to pretend to be partially insane at the moment. "You feel any different? You know, with your bloodline and all?"

The elder teen nodded as she lifted her hand to make the snow and ice around them move like water. "I can feel my chakra meld almost perfectly with my surroundings here. I believe that my techniques will take much less chakra in these conditions…" She glanced to her side, to where the bulk of the island was. "So, is this…"

"Yeah…" He replied, his eyes sharpening, making his slit eyes look more dangerous than normal. "They're not in my range yet, but I can feel residual chakra coming from the island in general. Keep an eye open… I'll let the others know something's up…"

In less than a few hours, the director, the crew, and the actors had gotten into position and prepared for their first recording for the new movie.

"Hey, dobe…" Sasuke grunted as the shinobi watched from the back. "Why aren't you as affected by the cold as I am? Haku has her bloodline and Kakashi's used to this, but I don't see why you're not as frozen as everyone else or bugged me to set something or someone… or you, on fire."

Naruto glanced at his teammate and smirked. "Ero-nii taught me a trick using the Seventh Sense that makes it easier dealing with extreme temperature conditions." He rubbed his hands together. "I basically do this with the air around me a lot of times in different spots to warm my surroundings. When it's hot, I just circulate the air around me to cool me off…" He smirked. "You can come close to me if you want… but I'll have to tell Sakura about it later, Uke-chan…"

Sasuke frowned as he snorted and looked away, causing the blonde to snigger. "… And I'll make sure to let Hinata know you offered your 'warmth' to me…" He countered, smirking as he saw Naruto immediately pale out of the corner of his eyes.

Haku, on the other hand, pretended that the two didn't exist. "Boys…" She sighed…

"You wouldn't…" Naruto growled. Normally, Sasuke would continue with the standard challenge, but he noticed the other boy's eyes darting around quickly and momentarily flashed.

"How many?" Sasuke muttered under his breath, not making any suspicious movements.

"3, and they're starting to move… but something's off." Naruto grunted as his body took a seemingly relaxed stance. "My chakra's being pushed back a few inches from their bodies… I can't get a decent reading on how strong they are…"

BOOM! Kakashi threw an exploding kunai at the seemingly strongest chakra signature, indicating that he had detected their presence too.

"What the hell are you doing?" Roared the director, not aware of how much trouble they were in just yet.

Naruto and the others jumped up front to where the actors were gaping. "10, 12, 2:30…" Naruto muttered as a man slowly stood up from the snow, chuckling darkly.

"Welcome to Snow country…" He smirked as he looked down at the group. "Long time, no see, Kakashi Hatake…"

"Hoh?" Mused a pink haired woman standing on top of an ice pillar. "It seems that we've been spotted already. Oh well…" She glanced at the leading actress hungrily. "Welcome home, princess Koyuki. Did you bring the hexagonal crystal?"

Kakashi's eye widened in fake shock. "Princess Koyuki?"

"Not bad, Kakashi…" Grunted a large man with a metal arm as he emerged from the snow. "You have some interesting students…"

Everyone paused though as Naruto yelled and pointed at the pink haired woman accusingly. "Sakura! What the hell are you doing here! I thought we told you to stop stalking Sasuke and…" He paused and squinted at the woman again. "Wait… you're not Sakura… you have boobs…"

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

Sakura paused in the middle of her rehabilitation exercises. "I don't know why, but I've suddenly decided to kill Naruto when he comes back."

o. o. o.

Back to where the plot is:

Everyone glanced at the boy disbelievingly as he chuckled nervously. "Heheh. Sorry, lady. My bad…"

"How in the world did you mistake that woman for Sakura?" Sasuke asked despite the seriousness of the situation.

"What? How many pink-haired female shinobi can you think of off the top of your head?" Naruto countered in his defense, causing more people to sweatdrop.

"Hahaha!" The big man to the side laughed. "That kid's pretty funny! Too bad we're going to have to kill him…"

"Fubuki, Mizore. Get the princess and take care of the brats. I have Kakashi…"

"Yeah, yeah…" Fubuki sighed as she jumped off of her pedestal.

"This will be too easy…" Mizore chuckled as he grabbed the modified chakra snowboard from his back and jumped on it, instantly bolting forward.

"Naruto. Sasuke. Haku. Protect Yuki-san." Kakashi growled before turning his head to the stage crew. "Everyone! It's too dangerous here! Get back to the ship now!" Before anyone could respond to his order, the man had already moved to take on the apparent leader of the assailants.

"Please don't tell me that you are going to run away like last time, Kakashi…" The leader smirked as he stared down Kakashi.

"Nadare Rōga…" Kakashi mused. "Are you going to fight me without relying on that annoying armor of yours protecting your glaring weaknesses?"

The banter ended quickly as the two entered a fast taijutsu battle on the glacier.

"I got the big guy…" Sasuke stated as he moved to the rapidly speeding man.

"I shall engage the woman…" Haku claimed as she sped off to her opponent _. 'She looks like she knows a few ninjutsu…'_

Naruto sighed as he looked back to see the petrified woman staring blankly into space. "I guess I'm the last line of defense, then. You wouldn't happen to decide to start moving to the boat any time soon now, would you?" He got silence as a response. "Didn't think so…" He mused as he glanced back at the fighting. "At least this is more interesting than those movies we were watching earlier…"

"Ice Style: Swallow Attack!" The pink haired woman shouted as a massive flock of ice birds flew to assault Haku.

"Interesting…" The girl mused as she jumped out of the way rather easily, only to spy the flock turn around in midair and try to kill her again. The bloodline user's eyes flashed as one of her hands rapidly flipped through several one handed seals and stomped a foot on the ground. "Hidden Art: Thousand Needles of Death…" She muttered as ice needles shot up from the snow and took out the flock of ice birds with no issue at all. She glanced at her slightly intrigued opponent. "Surprised?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" Fubuki replied with a grin. "I never thought that Konoha of all places would try to teach people ice style ninjutsu, let alone figure out one handed seals."

Haku smiled gently. "You seem to be mistaken. This is not simply a ninjutsu in my case…" She lifted an arm, and several hundred more ice needles rose into the air around her. "This is my bloodline…"

The woman's eyes widened in shock as she immediately began to flip through some seals and touched the ground. ' _The Hyōton bloodline? I thought they were all killed off! This is bad!'_ "Ice Style: Ice Prison!" She shouted, causing a massive amount of frozen pillars to shoot in front of her and protect her from the assaulting needles.

Haku frowned as she rapidly jumped back in order to prevent taking on any damage while flipping through some more seals. "Ice Style:…"

"Too slow!" Fubuki shouted as the pillars enclosed surrounded and trapped the girl in the frozen crystal structure. "Whew…" She breathed out slowly. "I guess she didn't know how to use her bloodline correctly, otherwise I would have been in trouble…" Her musings were cut short, however, when Haku's image disappeared from inside the ice. Her eyes widened in shock as she looked carefully. The girl wasn't there in the first place, only some sort of giant rectangular slab of ice…

"Who's too slow?" Whispered out a calm Haku as she dashed out of the second mirror she had made behind the distracted woman…

o. o. o.

With Sasuke:

The Uchiha was somewhat irritated with his fight as he continued to test the defensive capabilities of his opponent. He knew something was off right from the start of the fight when the kunai he threw at the boarder bounced off of some kind of invisible force field a few inches from gutting his opponent. "I guess this is what dobe meant when he said that something was pushing his chakra away…" He grunted as he threw a lightning element charged windmill shuriken at the large man. He got slightly better results as the large bladed weapon ground against the invisible wall for several moments before the man smashed it with his large normal arm.

"You're starting to annoy me, kid!" The shinobi grunted and aimed his metal arm at the boy and fired some wires from the center of the hand at the Uchiha.

Sasuke, of course, dodged the attack, but that left the path open for the man to charge at Naruto and Yuki. "Shit. DOBE!" Sasuke yelled in warning.

"Way ahead of you, teme…" Naruto muttered as he formed several seals while turning to his latest opponent who was aiming his metal arm at him. "Earth Style: Earth Wall…" He muttered as he spat out a brown liquid around him and the shocked woman. Just as the metal hand shot forward, a giant rock wall erupted from the sludge and deflected the claw without even taking a scratch.

"Tch." The large man grunted as he attempted to turn in time to not hit the wall. "Not bad…" Just as he was about to turn out of the way of the wall, however, two chakra blades erupted from the stone and slammed into the man, and instead of impaling him, due to his armor, they launched him into the air and back towards Sasuke.

"I see you…" Naruto chuckled darkly to himself as he rested his palms against the other side of the stone wall before frowning. "That armor is more annoying than I thought. TEME! YOU'RE GONNA NEED SOMETHING BIG TO GET PAST THEIR DEFENCES!" The blonde yelled to his teammate.

"Got it!" Sasuke replied as he charged at his momentarily stunned opponent, only to almost swear when the large man landed on his board again and burst away faster than the boy could follow. "Tch… I can't do anything 'til that bastard stops moving so much, though…"

"Damn…" Mizore grunted as he tried to ignore the bruises he'd just gotten and dodge the oncoming fireballs from the dark haired boy. "The brats know some annoying jutsu…" He began to turn around. "Gotta fight them up close…"

"Princess!" Sandayū shouted as he ran to where Naruto and the near unresponsive actress were.

"Good." Naruto sighed. "Can you get her back to the ship? I would do it myself, but odds are we'd be shot in the back while I tried to calm her spoiled ass down."

"Sandayū… you…" Koyuki whispered to herself before she passed out.

"Or that works, too…" The blonde mused before Sasuke crashed through the stone wall and made a hole in the defenses Naruto had made. "Teme, you're doing it wrong… You're supposed to be beating HIM up, remember?"

"Shut up…" The Uchiha growled as he glared at the man that jumped through the hole after him. "His armor changes the speed of his punches and his taijutsu isn't half bad, either… he caught me off guard."

"Hello again, princess…" The man grunted as he pointed his metal arm at the frozen woman and shot his hand at her.

"Good bye again, dumbass…" Naruto replied darkly as he flashed his presence and knocked away the metal hand with a strong pulse of wind before slashing the rope connecting the hand to the body with one of his chakra blades and using the other to once again to push/stab the offender away from the group and pinning him under a healthy amount of snow. The boy walked to the now disconnected appendage and lifted it up curiously. "Need a hand? … Wow, that left a bad taste in my mouth…"

"Keep on filming!" The director yelled from his seat as his crew ran for their lives and pushed him along in the process "Show your pride in your work! We'll make a fortune if we use this event right!"

"Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet!" Kakashi yelled as he rushed to the group, using the massive leviathan to force back Nadare temporarily. "How are things here?" The leader of the group asked sternly.

"The annoying lady is passed out, we buried the fat one, I have a new paperweight, and we're starting to get really annoyed by that armor of theirs…" Naruto listed, nodding to the passed out actress just as Haku joined them. "Oh, hey Haku. Have fun screwing around with your bloodline?"

"Somewhat, though that armor of theirs makes it rather difficult for me to deal significant damage… I've managed to pin the woman down with ice spears, but I doubt they will last long…" The teen nodded before turning to Kakashi. "Kakashi-san, do you know anything about them? They seem to know you…"

Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, that's armor for shinobi designed by Snow country. Chakra armor…" He frowned. "But they're stronger than they were before…"

"I'm honored you remember it…" Nadare claimed as he and his companions landed nearby. "This armor of ours increases our chakra and strengthens our techniques. It creates a wall of chakra around us, and it even nullifies your chakra and reflects it back at you… so any ninjutsu or genjutsu that you might use on us are pretty much useless…" He rapidly made some seals. "Ice Style: Piercing Dragon Fierce Tiger!"

"Get to the ship!" Kakashi ordered as he flipped through several seals. "Water Style: Water Dragon Bullet!"

Naruto and Haku grabbed the two civilians and jumped away with Sasuke as Kakashi's water dragon momentarily clashed with the ice tiger before it was frozen and crashed where they once were.

"You won't get away this time, brats!" Fubuki roared as he chased after them on his chakra board.

"Let's see how well your armor works against these conditions…" Sasuke growled as he flipped through some seals. "Fire Style: Napalm Flow!" Sasuke shouted as he spat out a massive amount of burning liquid from his mouth and formed a massive wall of flames between the two groups.

"What about Kakashi-dono?" Sandayū shouted. "He's still with them on the other side!"

"Don't worry, old man. Kakashi-sensei isn't someone that can be taken down that easily." Naruto smirked. "Trust me…" He paused as a giant horned whale popped up from the ocean and crashed into a portion of the island that they thankfully weren't on. "… Then again, hurrying up to the ship wouldn't be such a bad idea at this point… I mean, it's not like WE'RE exactly on that level either…" He paused. "On a side note, if the guys are still filming this, I bet they just got the best alternative to Moby Dick ever made…" Two more giant whales erupted from the sea and crashed into each other and destroyed the island. "… Scratch that, they just filmed the sequel: Moby Dick's Revenge…"

o. o. o.

Several hours later:

"So let me get this straight…" Naruto deadpanned. "You…" He pointed at Koyuki, who was glaring at everyone in the room. "Are a princess who escaped from your uncle who took over your home, masquerading as an actress… who just so happens to play a princess in the movies you're in. You…" He pointed to Sandayū. "Were one of her old man's servants, and pretty much stalked the girl once you found out she was alive and spent years as her whipping boy so you could get her spoiled ass here in Snow man's land to motivate your rebellion buddies to start moving and try to get rid of Danto, or whatever her bastard of an uncle is called. And YOU…" He pointed at Kakashi, who was still halfway covered in ice from his narrow escape from the collapsing island. "Were the poor bastard that had to get here out of this place last time… honestly, how could you not recognize her once you started to remember your last mission here? Her age matches up, she's been acting weird ever since she heard she was going to Snow country, her fake name has almost no originality compared to her real one…" He sighed and slammed his head on the table. "If I wasn't so sure I'd be blowing something to kingdom come by the end of this mission, I would be bitching about this 'til we got back home…"

"I must admit… the situation does seem a bit ironic and surreal…" Haku commented thoughtfully. "… But from what I have seen so far, it does not appear to be hopeless…"

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah. They're so proud and brag about their armor too much. They're getting sloppy in their basic skills…"

"Says the guy that was plowed through a rock wall…" Naruto smirked.

"Stop joking around, you idiots!" The angry woman yelled. "There's no way you can stand up to Dotō! There's no point on continuing on. Let's just go back and…"

"To where?" Kakashi said in a casual tone. "Now that Dotō knows who you are, there isn't anywhere safe for you anymore. I doubt he'll give you enough time to make another new identity for yourself."

"How pathetic…" Naruto grunted as he glared at the momentarily stunned woman with those sharp eyes of his. "You give up so easily when you haven't even tried to do anything or know what is behind you…" He nodded to the still bowing Sandayū. "That creepy old fart has been with you, helping you out through all your stupid temper tantrums for years, just so he could bring you back and get your home back, and from the sound of things, he isn't the only one that shares his feelings."

"… It's almost painful to see them put their dreams in the hands of someone like you so willingly…" He closed his eyes and sighed. "I don't care what this lady's response is to the trip. We're still going to Snow country. We'll get the film done, we'll kick out of that bastard Dotō, and we'll free the place. Whether or not lady chicken shit here actually becomes queen is none of my business." He glared at her again, this time with glowing eyes. "I'll sure as hell make sure that she comes along for the entire ride to watch as we prove her wrong." He smirked. "I'll so enjoy rubbing this in your face when we're done…"

The director, who everyone pretty much had forgotten existed, began to chuckle. "Heh. Because you don't give up and stubbornly walk forward, you're able to see a dream. Because you're able to see a dream, the future will come. Not bad. This kind of thinking would be perfect for the final chapter of our princess' series…"

"Hold on… you can't be serious…" The cameraman said nervously. "You actually want to continue the filming? After we nearly got crushed by those giant ice whales?"

"I like the looks in these kids' eyes…" The director smirked, looking at Sasuke, Naruto, and Haku in front of him. "There wasn't a doubt of uncertainty in them when we were talking about those guys that fought us. Plus, I told you that the movie is changing. It's our job to adapt and get the most out of it. Think about it. Filming an actual princess taking back her home country from the clutches of the uncle that killed her family years ago. I can assure you that we'll never get a chance like this again…"

The cameraman's eyes widened. "Oh yeah… if we do this right… we'll be set for life!"

"Stop fooling around!" The woman shouted, clearly expressing her anger now. "This is different from the movies! There's no such thing as a happy ending in this world!"

"Humph…" Sasuke snorted. "That's almost comical, coming from the woman who plays the role of an optimist in the movies…"

"You've been reading too many sad books…" Naruto pondered, also not at all phased by the woman's outburst. "Hey Kakashi-sensei, do you have any books with happy endings to give to her to read to make her shut up?"

Kakashi paused before starting to sweat a little. "Um… in a way… yes, but I don't think she'd calm down reading about these sort of… happy endings…"

Haku rested her head in her hands in frustration. "I am beginning to wonder how Zabuza-sama was beaten by you…"

"If you put in the effort, you will be able to pull through…" The director growled, clearly noting that the shinobi weren't paying any attention to their conversation for the moment.

"Under normal circumstances, we should return to the village to get reinforcements… but taking into account who is here… I believe that such actions are both time consuming and unnecessary…" Kakashi mused out loud, causing his three travelling companions to smirk in their own way.

"A-are you sure?" The cameraman asked uncertainly. "You had a bit of trouble with them just now…"

"Mmm…" Kakashi mumbled before looking at the teens. "Naruto, Sasuke, Haku… do you think you can take them?"

Sasuke yawned. "Please, don't ask me a question you already know the answer to."

"I was really stalling since I have never seen someone else use hyōton techniques before… I am not concerned about the future of the mission in the slightest." Haku nodded confidently.

"How much do you guys wanna bet that that Dotō guy has a big menacing castle?" Naruto asked absentmindedly. "… And if I win… can I blow it up? Please?"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Scabbard blinked and turned his head towards the direction Inuzuka clan compound curiously. "… Why on earth is Ghost in his cat form there? It sounds like he's locked in a cage with the most dangerous hounds in the Inuzuka clan… oh well, I'll find out about it later…" He turned back to the building in front of him and knocked on the door politely.

"Coming!" A gruff voice replied from inside the building before the door opened to reveal Shiki Higurashi. "Scab? What are you doing here at this time of the night?"

"I wish to request permission from you and daughter to do something… certain parts of the topic are rather… sensitive…" Scabbard replied. "May I come in?"

"Of course." Shiki replied as he stepped out of the way. "Though, it kinda unnerves me when someone in your family comes over these days… no offence."

"I'd be more worried if you weren't." The green haired man dryly replied. "Is Tenten here?"

The blacksmith nodded. "Yes. She's in her room going over some more seals." He paused. "I know that high ranking missions are supposed to be top secret, but can you please tell me what you fought there? She's been… quieter since she's been back home."

"That's part of the reason why I am here." Scab replied as he walked into the man's home. "Can you please get her? I have little doubt this will be a somewhat long night."

The man nodded. "Tenten! Come down here! Your teacher needs to talk to us about something!"

"Hold on a minute! I'm almost done with something!" The girl shouted from the second floor, soon followed by the sounds of clanking metal.

"Is it Durandal?" Scabbard asked loud enough for the question to be heard on the second floor. The man got a response in the form of the girl apparently stumbling and lots of metal hitting the floor.

"Durandal?" Shiki asked curiously, not familiar with the name.

"I'll explain in a bit." The immortal replied as he sat down at the kitchen table. "Would I be bothering you if I asked for some tea?"

The father shook his head as he went to prepare the drink. "Not at all. Hold on a moment…"

"Scab-sensei?" Tenten breathed out heavily from running head first down the stairs. "What are you doing here?"

The man said nothing as he drank his tea quietly, but made a notion to an empty chair at the table, prompting the girl to sit.

"Your teacher apparently came here because he wants our permission to do something…" Shiki stated thoughtfully. "… which is already room for concern, because you are not normally the type to ask for permission to do anything… more like the type to ask for forgiveness after you already did it…"

"I see you are already wary of the reasons for my visit…" Scabbard mused, not paying attention to the confused look the girl was giving him. He sighed as he put his cup on the table. "Tenten… how is Neji faring after our recent mission?"

"The hell? What's with the sudden change in topic?" Shiki asked, somewhat irritated.

"He's… getting better…" Tenten replied hesitantly, ignoring her father. "He's still somewhat in shock… and that talk you gave us helped, but from what I've heard, he's still talking to several of his clan members who have been in similar positions in the past…"

Scabbard nodded slightly. "I see… and you?"

The girl swallowed. "I've… had some trouble sleeping. In order to take my minds off things, I've been working on some more personal swords late into the night…" She paused. "… Ones that I think can stand up to guys like that."

Shiki slammed a massive hand onto the table, gaining the pair's attention. "Enough beating around the bush. You don't have to tell me everything, but I want to at least know what the hell happened…"

The shorter man sighed and closed his eyes. "We were exploring one of Orochimaru's bases… and we encountered 2 missing-nin. Deidara of Iwa, and Sasori of the Red Sands… both are S class missing-nin…meaning that they could fight on the same level as Hokage-sama…"

Shiki paled, recognizing the names instantly as ones that the Ōgakari had warned him and the other clan heads to avoid or keep an eye on at all times. "Wh-what?" He whispered.

"I managed to get the group out safely, but encountering enemies on that level left a psychological mark on all the genin there." The man continued. "Neji was the worst case, since Sasori expressed his desire to turn him into a human puppet due to his bloodline… it being his first case of someone significantly powerful expressing their desire to claim his eyes." He glanced at Tenten. "I visited him a few days ago to check up on him. He is still shocked, but I managed to motivate him a small amount to become stronger due to the experience…"

"I'm guessing you're going to do the same with me?" The girl chuckled dryly.

The man sighed and took out a scroll. "In your case… it's a bit more than that…" He unraveled it to show an impossibly complicated and intricate seal, causing the two to open their eyes wide.

"Wow… I've never seen a seal like that…" Shiki whispered.

"I can't even read it… everything is so entwined…" Tenten whispered.

"This is why I am here." Scabbard sighed. "I am asking you two permission to apply this seal to Tenten…"

"What?" They said in the same time.

"What for? What does the seal do?" Tenten asked.

"Do you remember when I asked you what kind of monster you wanted to be?" He asked. "You responded 'As big as I have to be'…" He paused. "You are a very rare kind of person, Tenten… you have the potential to be a wielder of techniques that I have only heard of from one other person… however, you won't be able to exploit the entirety of this potential via standard means or training." He pointed to the seal. "That is what this is for… and why I am here tonight."

Shiki stared warily at the seal. "You said you are here for our permission… and even though I'm not a ninja, I can tell that this seal isn't like your standard storage seal… how dangerous is it?"

Silence.

"At the moment… there is a 20% chance that Tenten will die if I apply it to her…" Scabbard commented.

The room was dead quiet.

"And why do you want to use it on my daughter?" The father said in a deadly tone.

Scabbard took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I will not lie… your daughter's potential reminds me of an extraordinarily close friend of mine. I won't say that he is not unrelated in this… he was someone who I respected greatly, and I feel that I would be insulting him greatly if I simply let someone who has the same skills as he does let her abilities go unnoticed… however, that is not to say that your daughter's well-being is not also in my best interest. Should the seal work, she will have the potential to become as great as Tsunade with the right training, and I would not offer this unless I had full confidence that she would be able to survive."

Tenten swallowed heavily. "What… what would it let me do?"

Scabbard looked gently at the girl and pointed at her chest. "It takes what is here…" He pointed at her head. "… And here…" Then he pointed to her hands. "… And puts them there… which is why I am only offering to use this seal on you…"

Shiki frowned as he saw his daughter's face go from confused, to understanding, to absolutely shocked. "I take it you understand what the hell he's talking about… because I sure as hell don't."

"Why… do you think I am ready? I haven't done anything since the last time we talked… and to let me be able to do something like that…" She mumbled, still very nervous about the entire situation.

Scab smiled slightly. "You already have. You responded when I asked if you were trying to recreate Durandal. I only used that sword in your presence during our encounter with Sasori and Deidara, and a warped version at that… yet not only have you seen enough from that one time that you are confident enough to try and recreate it, but you even know its name just from a glimpse. Even if you did lay eyes on it when I was training you for the Chūnin Exams, it would have been before you truly began to develop your in-depth analyzing skills. The only blade-like weapons you did see since the exam finals that would warrant your interest are my family's, Zabuza's, and Durandal, and since you know better than to even attempt to make my family's weapons… and since Zabuza made us promise to never make a blade like his… Durandal was the only viable project you would be working on at the time." He put a hand on the girl's shoulder. "Because you are able to see so much in a blade from just looking at it once, I am confident in your ability to handle the seal… still, I will not force this on you. If you want to become strong another way, I will gladly aid you, and we will never have this conversation again unless you want it…"

"Is there some sort of time limit for this thing?" Shiki asked warily. "She doesn't have to make her decision right now, does she?"

Scabbard shook his head. "No. The situation is not like that…"

"I sense a 'but' coming." Tenten said.

"… however…" The man continued, causing the father and daughter to sweatdrop. "It is more complicated. You see, the skills this seal will enable you to use take time to master. Under normal circumstances, with standard training and instruction, it took the original maker of this technique 10 years to get it down to an art form from scratch. With the training I have given you, plus my deviations on some parts, and your previous training and skills as a kunoichi and a blacksmith and a seal user, we can shrink that number down to roughly 2-4 years, depending on your progress…"

"I'm still sensing bad news…" Shiki grumbled, knowing there is something he had forgotten that adds to the equation.

Scab sighed. "The thing is that according to my information network, in roughly three years, several shinobi of unnaturally high level will start to move against the Elemental Nations. Among their ranks are Sasori and Deidara… and they are all that strong or higher…"

Tenten paled at this. "What?"

 _'Shit… that's right, that's when those Akatsuki guys are supposed to move…'_ Shiki mentally grumbled, knowing why the man had come now. "So in short, you are trying to make sure my daughter doesn't get herself killed at that time by these freaks, right?"

The shorter man nodded. "That is correct. I wouldn't rush this unless I thought there was need to. Should both of you agree to this, and she completes her training by this time, I can at least promise that she would have the ability to survive a worst case scenario against these kind of opponents long enough to escape alive…"

Tenten blinked before chuckling dryly. "You mean I won't be able to become as strong as you, Sensei?"

Scabbard paused for a moment before laughing lightly, causing the family to stare at him since the man was known for his rather stiff personality. "Ah, Tenten… I'm afraid you will need a bit more than 3 years' worth of training to become as strong as I am… Though it does make me feel flattered that you wish to become stronger than me in the future… Thank you."

"Are there any side effects to the seal that we should know about?" Shiki asked, continuing the conversation. "She's not going to go crazy or turn into a boy, is she?"

Scabbard sighed. "The only possible side effects that I know of - which might not even happen, mind you - is that if she constantly and frequently uses these powers, her skin might naturally turn much tanner… and her hair will go pure white, much like the original user. She won't get wrinkles, it won't affect her health any more than if she used normal ninjutsu, just her appearance would change a little…" He pointed to his dyed hair. "Which is, of course, something that can easily be dealt with if needed or wanted."

Shiki took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "… First of all… Tenten… if you dye your hair any flashy color, I will end you before any shinobi will get a chance to…" The girl shrunk into her shirt. "Next… why isn't your brother here, too? The crazy one that's supposed to be a seal master that puts Jiraiya to shame? I wouldn't let him into the house, but since he's the best in your clan at this kind of thing, I would have assumed that he would be here also."

Scab shook his head. "This seal is the final product of our work. Seals that convert objects from the inside of a person's psyche to the outside world are very complicated and vary between the people that they are applied to, so they require more than simply a seal master's design… they require the input of someone who is unnaturally familiar with the person's mentality and personality." He pointed to where two clearly different styles of seal making intertwined. "The foundation and much of the fine-tuning were in fact done by Crypt, but the specifics of the seal had to be done manually by myself…" He smiled a bit. "Normally, you would be lucky if the odds of surviving such a seal were at best 10%, but I made sure to increase the possibility of success as much as I could without reducing the potency of the seal."

The room remained quiet for several minutes as the Higurashi's pondered the situation carefully and Scabbard sipped his tea calmly.

"… Is there no way to increase the survival rate?" Shiki asked quietly.

"Without diluting the potency of the seal, no." Scabbard replied. "If we did that, we could be potentially endangering Tenten's life in the future by weakening the powers it would give her. To be frank, even I am somewhat impressed by the quality and efficiency of it…"

"I… I want to use the seal…" Tenten said hesitantly, causing her father to glance at her surprised. "I've already been stuck in life or death situations before… so something like this shouldn't scare me. Besides, a 20% chance of dying is much safer than trying to fight those guys again unprepared…" She laughed nervously.

Shiki swallowed hard. "Tenten… are you sure about this? I will back you up on your decision, no matter what you chose, but…"

"I trust him, dad…" Tenten replied. "… I just want to make sure that I can help out my friends when the time comes… I can't rely on just throwing things that are sharp or explode all the time, after all…"

The blacksmith ground his teeth. "… Fine… if I didn't want you to risk your life, I wouldn't have let you become a shinobi in the first place." He turned to Scab. "So help me, if she doesn't survive…"

"Then I will turn myself to the ANBU as soon as I believe that we have used up all possible routes to keep her alive." Scab replied as he took out a bottle of red fluid. "Tenten, can you please take off your shirt? This seal needs to be placed directly over your heart, and there are some small extension seals that I need to write before I start the final process…"

o. o. o.

Back in the Land of Snow:

"Seriously, what the hell?" Naruto grumbled as he carried the princess, who had run away from the group AGAIN, through one of the many ice caves that resided in the mountains of the country. "You just disappear like that without any of us noticing whenever you feel like it. You're just like Ero-nii, except you have a worse sense of humor than he does. If anyone trained you right, I would bet you could be an amazing assassin. Just walk in, shake hands, be all distant like. Then the second everyone doesn't pay attention to you, stab a guy and disappear… why the hell don't you just do that to your uncle? He sounds like the kind of idiot that would let his guard down around you when his 'grand plan' is being realized."

 _'The air around him is warm… why is that?'_ The woman rested quietly on the boy's back, making the scene look odd and almost amusing if she didn't have the dead look in her face. "… How do you keep on finding me?" She mumbled.

Naruto snorted. "Oh, now you feel like talking?" He grunted as he shifted her to a more comfortable position. "… Two ways…" He sighed. "You smell… different compared to everyone and everything here. I'm not part dog… but my nose isn't half bad…"

"And the second way?" She asked in an almost interested tone.

He smirked. "I can sense you. Ero-nii taught me a trick that lets me sense things touching the air around me, and I memorized your signature when we first met…" He paused. "… Though it still didn't make it easier when it came to trying to make you stop trying this shit… honestly."

"… Why do you keep on doing this?" She continued. "You're not really fond of me…"

"Who wouldn't, after being sprayed in the face with pepper spray and left alone under half a ton of construction debris?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "I'm doing this because this is my mission. Even if I don't like you, I'm doing this anyway. Plus, I'm itching to get back at those guys and rub what you said in your face. That pessimistic attitude of yours is really annoying."

"Same could be said about your insane babbling…" She grunted.

The blonde smirked. "Good." He paused, frowned, and looked back. "What the…? Why do I feel chakra?"

Soon enough, the tracks under them that were frozen in ice thawed out rapidly. "What?" Koyuki gasped as she heard the howling of something large coming close to them. "That's the train! Run!"

Naruto felt the shape of something massive around the bend. "Oh fuck! Yes ma'am!" He yelled as he began to run in the opposite direction.

"We're not going to make it!" The scared woman shouted.

"Lady! If you don't shut up right now, I'm gonna drop your whining ass and make it out alone!" The boy roared as the metal monstrosity closed up on them.

"It's catching up! It's too fast!" She yelled, ignoring the boy's threat to leave her to die.

"Well then, I'll just have to run faster…" He replied with a dark growl. "Compared to Ero-nii… that thing is barely moving at all..." He managed to take in a deep breath and smirked, unleashing his Presence. "Hold on, little girl! It's time for the grownups to show what we got…"

Koyuki barely managed to strengthen her grip on the boy before they shot forward at nearly double the speed they were going before. She could feel the wind cut into her face and if she didn't know any better, something breathing down her neck as well as the small boy outran a TRAIN of all things through the ice cave, out of the entrance, and skidded almost 40 meters until he stopped a good ways away from the tracks.

Naruto let out a slow breath and let the woman down. "Well… that wasn't hard…" He paused as the train rushed past them with a metal howl before slowing to a stop nearby. "Hm… this might be interesting…"

"Koyuki… It's been 10 years since I last saw you…" Stated a deep and amused voice, enhanced by some speakers from the train.

Koyuki turned to see her uncle in the distance. "Dotō Kazehana…" She whispered.

"Come… show your uncle your face. I wish to see how much you've grown in person." The man chuckled darkly.

"So that's the final boss, huh?" Naruto smirked as he stood up straight. "I gotta admit… he certainly looks the part. That strong jaw, that slicked back hair, the mouth and eyes that look like he could eat a baby in a single bite…" He paused before frowning. "You're certainly dressed for the part too, aren't you? That armor you're hiding under your clothes is stronger than your lackeys'!"

The man frowned deeply. "That boy is proving to be rather annoying…" He turned to Nadare. "I can see why your men had trouble with him…"

What Nadare was going to say was drowned out by the sound of giant logs crashing down the side of the valley. The men turned to see just that happen as they crashed into the train. Looking up, they saw several hundred men standing above them, armed traditionally and looking ready to fight.

"Quite a following you have there." Naruto chuckled, noting the small look of disbelief on Koyuki's face. "The speech is something that I could do without, but they have guts to keep on going like that…" He remained quiet as the men began to charge downward at the train screaming their battle cries, and watched as the enemy remained unnaturally calm. "It's about time to see whose hand is stronger… yours… or his…"

The train compartments opened to reveal countless slots aimed at the men on the mountain. Moments later, volleys of kunai were launched from each cart at the seemingly doomed men, all aimed to take their lives…

"Ice Style: Great Demon Wall of Mirrors…" Muttered a female's voice moments before the kunai claimed the lives of the men. Instantly, countless ice mirrors shot up from the ground in front of the men and blocked all of the metal knives, shocking everyone there as the tons of metal fell harmlessly to the ground. They were once again caught off guard when the image of Haku appeared in each and every one of the mirrors like a ghost with one of her arms encased in an icicle.

"So that is the ice user you said they had…" Dotō mused as he gave out a signal. "We must have her… she will produce strong shinobi for our forces and enhance our strength. We cannot allow someone with such potential in ice style to exist outside of Snow country…"

The carts once again fired at the shocked men, but this time, the kunai were strapped with exploding tags, causing a giant explosion to occur on the mountainside and a white cloud of snow dust to obscure everyone's vision.

"Look for the girl." Dotō commanded. "No doubt she would have escaped from her mirrors before the blast…"

Koyuki's face dropped… only to turn to see Naruto smirking confidently. "Please. A few exploding tags against Haku's mirrors? No contest. I should know."

"Ice Style: Tail of the Northern Dragon… 2nd Form…" Chanted the same voice from the same area as before, causing the men and shinobi to freeze in their tracks. Before anyone could react, dozens of missiles shot from the cover of the cloud towards the train carts. As each one hit, the hit area exploded into a giant glacier, killing everyone inside and anchoring the rest in place to suffer from the assault.

"Whoa…" Naruto gaped with his eyes open as the bulk of the train gradually got assaulted and transformed into another part of the mountain. "Okay… Didn't know she could do THAT…" His attention was diverted when he saw the train start to move, disconnecting itself from its frozen body and over a nearby bridge… which appropriately blew up and dumped the vehicle down the mountainside. "Awww… Sensei got to destroy an island AND a bridge…" Naruto pouted. "I call dibs on the castle…"

"Glad you finally decided to show up, dobe." Sasuke snorted as he approached the pair. "We were worried that you finally lost your temper with her and just ditched the client."

"Don't tempt me." Naruto rolled his eyes, seemingly not noticing the mirror that formed behind him or the girl stepping out of it. "I like the new moves, Haku. Did anyone get hurt?"

The girl shook her head as the mirror dissolved. "No. Other than some cuts and burns that were received by those too close to the gaps of my mirrors, the damage is negligible. It is lucky that I have the field advantage here. I do not think I would have enough chakra to perform such a feat if we were in countries that lack this climate…"

"Do you think that we finished them off?" Sasuke mused as he turned to where the train fell.

"I doubt it." Kakashi replied as he appeared nearby. "Nadare isn't someone that would be taken out that easily, and if what Naruto said about Dotō having armor is right, then it is likely that he is alive as well."

"So…" Naruto mused, crossing his arms and thinking heavily to himself. "If the Sakura with boobs and the idiot whose hand I cut off weren't on the train… then we still have a strong person to fight each still… sweet." He grinned, not at all paying attention to deadpan looks that everyone was giving him.

"Everyone!" Shouted Sandayū as he ran towards the shinobi and the princess, followed by the men he had gathered to battle.

"Sandayū-san…" Kakashi replied. "It was rather reckless for you and your men to try and attack like that, knowing that Dotō would most likely be heavily guarded. If Haku wasn't here to protect you, odds are you and many of the men behind you would be dead right now."

"My most sincere apologies, Kakashi-dono…" Panted the oddly dressed old man, who the others now noticed was simply wearing some two bit armor over his normal clothes. "… However, I thought it might have been the best chance for us to get Dotō, since he rarely leaves his castle…"

"Hah! He DOES have a castle!" Naruto jumped up and down in joy. "… But not for long… heheheheh…"

The advisor looked at the shinobi curiously. "What does he mean by that? You just saved us and killed Dotō in front of everyone…"

"It is unlikely that's the case, unfortunately." Kakashi sighed. "We should get moving soon, or else Dotō will return with his shinobi this time and attack us. We may have been able to protect everyone so far, but against enemies of this level, we won't be able to keep up that track record for long…"

"I see…" Sandayū frowned. "There is a resistance village nearby. We can regroup there…" He smiled as he turned to Koyuki. "I am so glad that you are safe, Princess. Everyone will be thrilled to see you again. You being here gives everyone hope…"

 _'Misplaced hope at the moment… but hope all the same…'_ Naruto mentally grumbled as he stretched himself out and began thinking about his potential enemies and their skills and possible weaknesses again. "Hey, teme…" He started off slowly as Kakashi and Sandayū began to organize and take charge of the natives and the hidden camera crew (who seemed to be having a small party for filming the entire scene). "If we have an all-out fight again… you think you can solo out the snowboarding freak with the fake arm?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "The one whose hand you cut off? Yeah, I can take him. It will be a pain to get past his armor, but it shouldn't be strong enough to hold back a Chidori or Blaze Edge. I saw that the chakra shield doesn't take well to lightning element's piercing abilities in our first fight…" He paused. "Why, you think of something else I can do?"

Naruto grinned. "How much you wanna bet that he already has his hand replaced by now… and that the cable that he connects to it are just like your ninja wires?"

Sasuke paused before glaring at the blonde. "… I can't believe you actually thought of that before I did…"

The jinchūriki sniggered. "It's one of the benefits of being a natural trickster. I'm hardwired to look at everything differently. It helps that his technique reminded me of the time you almost shredded me to bits during the Chūnin Exams…"

"Don't tempt me to try it again…" The Uchiha growled before he heard the giggles that Haku was making. "Do you want to fight me again too, Haku?"

The girl sighed with a poorly hidden smirk and brushed her hair to the side. "Don't know. Do you want to become a pin cushion again, Uchiha-san?"

"I think I have a picture of you right after that fight…" Naruto pondered thoughtfully. "Wait… wait… no… Sakura does…"

The Uchiha had shivers running up his spine at that point, causing Haku to laugh even more. Not one of the three apparently paid attention to the Princess as she stood there watching the three with only mild interest, but inside, she was beginning to feel the dregs of hope again.

What the princess turned actress didn't realize was that she was being subject to one of the more interesting phenomena of the universe, something that Naruto had been subject to frequently himself:

The thing is that most people don't realize is this: When a person refuses to give up on their dreams, hopes, and goals… others who tend to be very influential will eventually take notice…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah, I did just go through half the first movie in one chapter. There's not much for me to abuse in this one other than the pink haired snow ninja lady. Remember, without the Ōgakari around, the story tends to be more serious (and I like to make things badass every once in a while), so I apologize if there wasn't as many funny parts here.

Watched Scott Pilgrim… if you don't go see that movie, the log will have to purge you from your horrible empty existence.

Back in college, so expect my chapters to unfortunately come out slower again. Senior year… woo, I guess. Kinda overloading so I can get a minor in physics by the time I graduate by the end of the year… if I can manage to pass all my classes and finish my senior project. I can already see blood coming out of my ears and eyes already…

So. I've decided to use the first and third Naruto movies (I didn't like the second one that much), 2 Filler arcs of my own personal choice, and 2 events that I have created myself... plus all the small shit that I tend to throw in for kicks. Afterwards, I will end yet again and create a new story for post timeskip, because Yet again is too fucking long as it is.

Anyways… holy crap, since my last chapter, I've gotten over 100 reviews total, almost 90 were for the last one. That is by far the best turnout ever… can it be a repeat performance… please?

So. Review, practice being awesome, worship the log, and review again. Later, guys.


	52. I stand by the 50-50-90 rule. If there's a ½ chance it will work, 9/10 times it will blow up.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 52: I stand by the 50-50-90 rule. If there's a ½ chance it will work, 9/10 times it will blow up.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

And now: A moment with Crypt (You need to watch Ed Edd and Eddy to get this joke):

Crypt sat down on a park bench and pondered deeply, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Oh my god…" He whispered disbelievingly and stood up straight. "PLANK IS THE LOG'S SON!"

And then his head exploded.

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

"… Can you please repeat yourself? I'm afraid I did not catch what you said entirely…" Hiashi asked his youngest daughter, who was standing in front of his desk and staring at him intently.

"I said I want to go to the academy this upcoming term." Hanabi repeated with all the authority she could muster.

"Hmm…" Hiashi frowned, pretending to be in deep thought. "Explain your reasoning to me. You have recently shown a large improvement in your Jūken, technique, and fighting style. Going to the academy now, as opposed to in a couple of years when most Main house… or in our new case, clan heirs go, will take time away from your private training at home."

"The reason why I have improved so much is because I have been spending time with my friends, father." Hanabi explained, somewhat embarrassed by her explanation. "I've been playing with them in the park lately… and I can't explain it… but it seems as if everything has been… less clouded in my head lately, is the only way I can explain it. I feel more relaxed, even when I'm not near them, and it helps with my training. They are going to the academy for their second year soon, and I want to be there with them…"

"I see…" Hiashi mused, not letting the smirk show on his face. "I seem to recall from your personal guard that among your friends is the grandson of our Hokage and his two compatriots…" He paused for a moment as he remembered what the group had been doing lately. "… You haven't been learning… certain techniques of theirs… have you?"

Hanabi paled. "You don't mean… NO! No! Of course not! I like them, but I don't do THAT with them!" She shivered. "Most of the time, we just play ninja games and talk about strategies. I win most of the time, but Konohamaru-kun is so persistent and random that it's hard to keep up with him. It's because of him that I have been getting better at detecting people under transformations with and without my Byakugan, and I have been able to train longer between breaks…"

Hiashi frowned momentarily as he tried to translate his daughter's complicated combination of facial expressions to see the truth. He didn't detect any lies… but… "Hm. Good. I am pleased that you see reason in spending time outside of training and are benefitting from spending time with others. I shudder to think of what would happen if you ended up like certain jōnin of this village and did nothing but train in your spare time…"

"YOOOOUUUUUTTTTHHHH!" Shouted a familiar voice from what seemed like miles away.

Both father and daughter suppressed the shivering feeling going down their spines. "You have made your request…" Hiashi continued. "And after given your reasons… I do not see a reason why I shouldn't allow you to attend the academy this upcoming term. However, I expect you to perform there as you have here, Hanabi. Your duties as a student and as a representative of the clan come before your plans with your friends, so I do not want to hear your teachers coming to me about missing homework, misbehavior, or skipped classes." He paused. "And just to be safe, you are to NEVER use any unusual jutsu your friends have taught you without showing it to me first for approval. Understood?"

Hanabi swallowed heavily, understanding exactly what her father meant. "Perfectly, father."

Hiashi nodded with finality. "Good. I will sign the needed papers soon. Just make sure that you do not forget your other duties as an heir to the clan, Hanabi…"

The girl smiled happily. "Thank you, father! I will not disappoint you."

The clan head sighed to himself as his daughter left the room. "Well… that makes telling her that she was going to the academy earlier than normal easier than expected…" He paused and looked at his schedule for the next few days before activating some privacy seals. "Since Hanabi just gave me an hour's worth of spare time…" The man slowly reached for the hidden drawer in his desk where he kept all his… reading material…

o. o. o.

Back with the title character:

"Hm?" Naruto grunted as he glanced at the seemingly emotionless princess as he was just about to start his dinner in the village that everyone was waiting in. "I wasn't paying attention. Can you say that again?"

The woman momentarily glared before calming down. "I was asking about that person you call Ero-nii. You seem to look up to him a lot… I assume he's strong…"

"More like clinically insane…" Naruto rolled his eyes. "But yeah, he's kind of like my master. He teaches me techniques, tricks and how to fight. The only problem is that I don't have a choice in what he teaches me… or how, for that matter, so more often than not, I end up maimed in some horrible new way by the end of the day…"

The actress gave the faintest hint of a smirk. "… Sounds like your training is something I would enjoy watching…" She mused.

"You're not the only one." The boy grunted before taking a bite out of his ramen and slurping up the contents. "Shouldn't you be, you know, shaking hands with the villagers right now or something?"

"I do enough of that for my job whenever I go outside." She replied as she began to eat her dinner too. "Having a decent meal to myself is considered a luxury to me. Don't ruin it."

"Whatever." The boy grunted through his food. The two ate in relative silence, pretending not to pay any attention to the other.

"Well, it looks like you two are getting along well…" Kakashi mused with an eye smile as he walked into the room.

"More like a momentary cease fire, Sensei." Naruto yawned. "Food time is more important than pissing each other off at the moment."

Kakashi looked at the princess who did nothing to respond to the blonde's statement. "I… see…" He sweatdropped. "Well, it's good to see both of you not trying to go for the other's throats for once. I just came to remind you that we have a war meeting in 20 minutes to discuss the invasion of Dotō's castle, and YES, Naruto, we will make sure to leave it somewhat intact so that you can blow it up later, AFTER we make sure we've removerd any and all important documents and items from the building."

"Woohoo!" The boy shouted to the ceiling and raising a fist into the air.

"How stupid…" Koyuki grumbled at the boy's antics.

"Anyways, I need to speak to the princess for a moment privately." Kakashi continued with a sigh. "Since you're pretty much done with your meal, Naruto…"

The boy sighed and stretched before getting up. "Yeah, yeah, I hear ya." He walked to the door. "Later Sensei, angry actress lady…"

"Don't bother responding. He does this to everyone. The more he respects you, the less he does it, but he will never stop unless he needs to or if he feels like it." Kakashi said, interrupting the woman from responding to the boy's comment. "Believe it or not, he calls the previous Hokage Jiji and the current one Baa-chan, even though she's the Third's student. To put things into perspective, our current Hokage is known to be the world's strongest woman, and has on occasion killed people with a flick of her finger."

"But really all she does now is wail on Ero-sennin or Ero-nii's family… not that I blame her." Naruto grumbled as he left the room.

Kakashi sighed as he turned his attention to the somewhat confused woman. "Ignoring my student's ramblings, I have to inform you of our current situation. Even though things look like they have calmed down now, Dotō will more than likely figure out that you are being hidden here soon. If we stay too long, he will come back with more men and hold the village hostage. The problem is that many of the villagers here are already attached to you and are unwilling to let you go so soon after you got here, despite my advice. I've already talked it over with Sandayū and he agrees with me. Tonight, we will have to move quickly to one of the secret bases they have set up. The director and his crew are also coming since it would be stupid to leave them to their own devices…"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Now you agree with me?"

Kakashi eye smiled. "Being a shinobi means you have to change your plans on the fly on occasion…"

"I'll keep that in mind." Koyuki grunted as she continued to eat.

"Getting back to business though, make sure not to tell anyone of this, otherwise we might risk more lives than we are already." Kakashi continued. "We'll gather by the east entrance of the village near the forest at around 3 in the morning. Be sure to be prepared by then…"

"I'll try." She mumbled. "It's not like I'm not used to late nights…" Several moments passed before she looked up again in a seemingly bored way. "Tell me about the brat. He seems different, even by your standards."

Kakashi shrugged as he took out a book. "You're going to have to be more specific than that. As you can probably guess, there's a lot more to him than the average person… or shinobi, for that matter."

"That so?" She mused as she drank some wine. "I'm surprised his folks put up with him…"

"They don't." Kakashi replied while still absorbed in his book. "They died when he was a baby. Until recently, he didn't even know what they looked like or what their names were. So, that being said, he had no distant relatives or family friends to raise him either. He pretty much brought himself up from scratch."

"Well, that explains a lot." She sighed before taking another bite of her meal. "How do you know he won't flip out on you guys? He doesn't exactly seem like the most stable person around."

"You'd be surprised." The cyclops answered, turning a page in the book. "Despite how he acts, he is unusually calm and resourceful when the time calls for it. Also, he's unimaginably loyal to those that get his respect and friendship. I have little doubt that he would jump in front of an exploding tag for any one of us on his team if it meant we even got a chance to survive the blast. That's just the person he is… it's part of the reason why he's already almost ready to get promoted again…"

"Again?" Koyuki asked. "How does the ninja system work?"

"Well…" The pervert scratched his chin in a thoughtful manner. "There's pretty much 5 main levels of shinobi. Genin, chūnin, special jōnin, jōnin, and kage. There are, of course, several branches to the side for specialized tasks. Most ninja at the highest reach the second rank, chūnin, by the end of their short life time, seeing as our profession doesn't exactly have a high survival rate. During the Chūnin Exams, and the invasion that you no doubt have heard about, Naruto managed to impress enough people with his talent to be recommended for another promotion in addition to the one he got to chūnin so long as he completes a few requirements beforehand…" He chuckled lightly. "It really is a rarity for one to get promoted so young… though I'm not one to talk." He paused and looked at the woman curiously. "It might be interesting to let you know that he wants to become the Hokage, the leader, of our village. He knows that he has a hard and long road in front of him, but he is as stubborn as they come, and I personally think he'll be able to do it…"

The woman blinked curiously, absorbing the information as best she could. "… Tell me the truth… do you think we can win the fight with only you four against my uncle?"

Kakashi eye smiled again before continuing to read. "Even if we statistically didn't stand a chance against them, shinobi battles are never as cut and dry as that, so we can never be so sure about the outcome of our battles. I have heard of a 15 year old girl and an old woman defeating a man who had turned himself into a monster and controlled over 500 puppets at once before." He let his words hang in the air as he went to the door. "However… if you were just wondering about our odds… well, they seem pretty good at the moment…"

"Hey sensei…" Naruto called from outside. "You know your plans to avoid Dotō by skipping town tonight?"

Kakashi sighed, put away his book, and walked to the door, ignoring the woman's looks of concern. "Let me guess… too late?"

"Yep." Naruto deadpanned as he looked at the massive balloon machine hovering over the small town. "Can I…"

"No." Kakashi answered before the boy even finished his sentence, knowing exactly what the he was asking. "Even if you actually do become Hokage, I would make it one of my life's missions to prevent you from having one."

"Damn it." The boy grumbled as the woman came out, curious as to what had gained the pair's attention.

"Kakashi!" Sasuke yelled as he and Haku ran to the group.

"Calm down. They haven't made any moves or demands yet… we still have some time to plan something." Kakashi frowned without looking to the rest of his team, spying the snowboarder and Nadare on the blimp. "Naruto… I see two of them…"

The blonde nodded and moved closer to Koyuki. "Teme, your boy's at our 7 and trying to sneak up on us… Haku, I'm guessing you got pinkie, and Sensei's got that Nadare guy… so I'm stuck with babysitting duty again…"

The teacher eyed the student warily. "I assume that you managed to see the blimp a while before it got into position?"

The boy grinned. "2 to 3 minutes… yeah…"

Koyuki swallowed heavily, not paying attention to the small smirks that Haku and Sasuke had on before they heard a voice on a loudspeaker.

"Koyuki…" Dotō growled as he stepped out next to his shinobi. "I have run out of patience with you and these fools. Surrender yourself, or else we we'll bombard this village and kill everyone in it! If you try anything funny, I will raze this village to the ground!"

As if on cue, several of the buildings that were close to the blimp were assaulted with several kunai with small blue orbs tied to them by the pink haired woman, who had decided to fly around on her armor's wings. The buildings, thankfully abandoned when the blimp made its appearance, exploded into giant tree-like ice structures with spikes reaching towards the sky.

"Cool…" Naruto drooled before pausing. "I mean… oh no! Those poor defenseless buildings!"

"Kakashi-san… what should we do? We're supposed to protect Kazehana-san, but if we keep her hidden, the rest of the village will be destroyed…" Haku whispered quietly, somewhat unnerved by how much the buildings looked like her original home had after she'd killed her father in self-defense.

Said client, on the other hand, was starting to shake. She didn't know why… she thought that she had come to terms with her life… that she was ready to die any time… but now she had a lingering feeling of regret… of fear…

"We can't take out the blimp here while they're keeping their eyes open for us attempting a counter attack from that height…" Sasuke grunted. "It would destroy too many buildings and there are still a lot of civilians around. Dobe, can you push or blow or whatever, the blimp away with your Seventh Sense?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, I can't. It's too big, even for me. Ero-nii could probably do it without breaking a sweat, but I'm nowhere near his level. Besides, if I tried to do something in front of them, they would just attack the villagers… however…"

"However?" Kakashi mused, noting the glint in the boy's eye.

"There would be some logic into bringing her to them…" He said carefully.

Everyone's eyes widened. "What?" They hissed. "Are you insane?"

The woman's shaking increased. ' _Just when I thought I could hope again…'_

"Be quiet." The boy growled. "Just listen to me…"

2 minutes later:

"Humph…" Dotō grunted as he saw his niece walk out into the open. "I was almost expecting a fight… this is somewhat disappointing, considering the trouble we had to get to this point…"

"Stop!" Nadare ordered, getting a confused look from Dotō. "Kakashi! You and your genin step out into the open so we know where you are, otherwise we will attack the village!"

"Good thinking…" Dotō mused as the 4 shinobi appeared behind the unnerved woman. "They could have let her out as some sort of trap…"

"They aren't transformed…" The pink haired woman grinned as she floated around the blimp. "I'm disappointed, Kakashi! First you ran away, now you're flat out giving up!" Unfortunately for her, that was not what they all had planned.

"Before we give her to you, can I ask the flying lady a question?" Naruto asked in an obnoxiously childish voice.

Dotō frowned. "You have come all this way, only to surrender your charge now… and you want to ask one of my men a question?"

"But! But! I wanna knooooooowwww!" The boy moaned, having his version of a temper tantrum.

"Be careful…" Nadare mused. "Konoha didn't put a child like him on a mission to protect an actress unless he was good…"

"Fine!" Fubuki moaned as she flew away from the blimp, ignoring her superior's warnings. "If it will make you shut up, what the hell do you want to ask me? And I swear, if you want to know where babies come from, I'll waste this village here and now!"

The boy paused. "Hmm… I gotta keep that in mind for later…" He muttered to himself before looking up with a grin. "No, it's nothing like that! I just want to know if you knew how birds fly."

The enemy blinked. "Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Birds fly by flapping their wings, you idiot!"

Naruto grinned with his hair overshadowing his eyes before the flying woman shot down towards the earth suddenly. "Apparently, you don't know much about what your armor does, lady…"

"What?" The enemies' eyes widened before a familiar voice from the other side of the blimp made itself known. "How the hell did he jump all the way to this height?" Dotō roared in confusion and anger.

"Wind Style! ATSUGAI!" The real Naruto roared and blew out an attack that would even make Kakuzu stall for a moment, creating a maelstrom force pulse that crashed into the blimp and kept on going. The giant whirlwind blasted the blimp over the village, shredding it in the process and causing it to crash in a nearby field.

 _'How the hell can a kid have so much chakra?!'_ Nadare mentally yelled as he braced his body against the g-force of the blimp flying through the air before it landed.

"Haku. Sasuke!" Kakashi grunted as he quickly picked up the shocked actress and ran her towards the specified location while the two bloodline users dashed towards their shocked and stunned opponents and Naruto's clone followed him.

Landing back on the ground on all fours, the boy coughed heavily. "Damn it! Cough. There should be warnings Cough Cough that say jutsu Cough that come out of the mouth hurt like Cough a bitch when used in extreme measures! Cough Cough!" Taking in some deep breaths, the boy focused his chakra to his throat to heal some of the stretching that he had accidentally made. "No time for bitching, though… gotta catch up to Sensei…"

o. o. o.

With Sasuke:

Sasuke smirked as he activated his eyes and shot some small fireballs at the seemingly hidden man before backing up again and luring him out of the village and towards the forest. ' _Way to go, dobe. You've proven once again you're full of it. Literally.'_

"Hold still, you brat!" The large man growled as he weaved through the buildings and eventually the trees, attempting to aim his fixed arm at the boy.

 _'Like that will actually make me change my mind…'_ Sasuke rolled his eyes as he jumped through the forest, looking for a decent tree to use. ' _There…'_

The large man smirked as Sasuke landed on a tree branch that collapsed under his weight. "Got you…" He muttered as he shot off his hand at the boy.

Unfortunately for him, he fell into Sasuke's trap, as the boy exploded in a cloud of smoke before he was even hit, causing the hand to fly farther than expected and towards the real Sasuke, who was situated in a massive forked tree. As soon as the chunk of metal dropped near him, the boy grabbed the wire and wove the slacking coils around the wedged section of the tree he was on before his opponent could retract it. "Funny thing about your armor…" Sasuke mused as he put both hands on the cable. Electricity crackled from one hand and an eerie red glow came from the other. "… It only protects you from techniques on the outside…"

"Shi…!" The man yelled as he attempted to pull the cable off his arm.

"Too late…" The Uchiha smirked as he charged the thick cord with both hands. "Hidden Art: Live Wire…"

The enemy shinobi's eyes widened as the cable rapidly glowed red with a white core, streaking down to his arm…

o. o. o.

With Haku:

Fubuki groaned as she grabbed her head and got back up. When she got a hold of that brat, oh was he ever going to get it. Blinking a few times, she tried to see where she was, but those damn mirrors around her were confusing the hell out of her… wait. Mirrors?

"I will only offer this once…" Spoke a soft female voice from what seemed all around the woman as the Hyōton bloodline user appeared in each mirror. "Surrender, or I will be forced to kill you…"

"Humph." The pink haired woman smirked as she stood back up and looked around more carefully this time. She counted 21 mirrors around her in a dome like manner. "Not bad, girl… though I doubt you can beat me, even with your little tricks. My armor can prevent any ninjutsu or genjutsu you throw at me…" Her proclamation was short lived, however, as she felt something collide hard with her stomach. "Wha..t?" She gasped as she collapsed into the ground again.

"In here, my speed is greatly increased…" Haku stated in a cold tone, looking and sounding as if she never left the mirrors in the first place. "You have no hope of escaping here alive if you continue to fight… surrender…"

 _'I gotta get out of here!'_ Fubuki screamed in her head while she took several more invisible hits to various parts to her body before she unfurled her wings again and tried to fly, only to crash onto the ground again. "What the? I can't fly?"

"That would be my teammate's doing…" Haku explained. "He recently created a technique that prevents beings with wings from flying or gliding… although to be honest, that would not have worked in here regardless…" ' _It seems as if tools and jutsu are repelled by their chakra armor… however, punches and kicks more or less go right through…'_

The Snow shinobi grunted as she was dealt more blows over her body. "F-fuck…" She growled as she quickly lost her temper. "Don't underestimate me!" She yelled and slammed her hand on the ground. "Ice Style: Ice Prison!" She yelled, causing several pillars to shoot up from the ground and surround her on all sides, knocking away the mirrors and protecting her from attack. "Hah hah. There! Not so confident now, are you brat?!" The woman breathed out heavily and wincing at the bruises she had.

Haku sighed as she stepped towards the nearest pillar, not at all injured or phased by the attack since she had a 22nd mirror set up nearby out of harm's reach, something that she had gotten into the habit of doing from watching Naruto spam clones and keeping one hidden to replace with so many times. "Please forgive me for what I am going to do…" She whispered as she put her hand on the nearest ice pillar.

"Humph…" Fubuki grumbled as she stood straight up again. "This girl isn't so tough. All I have to do is get out of here and meet up with the others. Then we'll just gang up on them and…" Her plans were cut short, however, when she saw all the openings that she would have used to escape slowly sealing themselves with multiple layers of ice. Even the opening over her head closed. "Shit!" She yelled as she attempted to destroy her constructs, only to realize that the girl had distributed her chakra through the entire formation and was slowly freezing everything inside of it.

"I hate using this technique…" Haku sighed as she watched the woman frantically use her jutsu to try and break free, to no avail. "Even Zabuza-sama has trouble watching this…" She formed the necessary one handed seals for one of her strongest secret techniques. "Ice Style: Absolute Prison…"

The trapped woman's body suddenly stiffened while the ice surrounding her turned pearl white. There appeared to be some resistance from her chakra armor for several moments… but that too passed rather quickly, as the energy to fuel the shield was drained away by the ice construct's draining properties. In the end, the mound in front of Haku wasn't a prison, but a tomb.

o. o. o.

With Kakashi:

The cyclops put down the shocked woman by the edge of the forest near where the blimp had crashed. "Here. Keep out of sight until one of us comes for you. It's too dangerous to leave you alone in the village…" He looked at the clone of Naruto left behind. "How much longer until the original gets here?"

The clone was about to answer when it and Kakashi were blown back by a massive black dragon. It was only by luck that Koyuki managed to not get killed, though she was rather shaken.

"Not quick enough…" Dotō growled, not wearing his robes and showing off his armor as he landed next to the shocked woman and picked her up. "Nadare, take care of Kakashi. I have something to show my niece…"

"Shit!" Kakashi swore as he was blocked by his opponent and prevented from getting to the scared woman.

"Now, now, Kakashi." The man smirked as the large man flew away. "We still have some unfinished business to deal with…"

"You're really starting to get on my nerves, Nadare…" Kakashi growled as he lifted up his forehead protector.

"Sensei!" Naruto yelled as he approached the group.

"Follow Dotō! He has Koyuki-sama!" Kakashi yelled firmly as he took out a kunai.

The boy looked to the retreating figure in the distance and frowned. "Got it!" He replied firmly and disappeared suddenly.

"That brat is next on my list, you know…" Nadare smirked. "He's been nothing but trouble for us. I might even hazard to say that he's more dangerous than you are…" He let out a brief chuckle at what he thought was an insult to the Copy-nin…

Kakashi eye smiled. "Oh darn… you figured us out… well, it's not like you were going to be able to defeat me anyways…"

The shinobi from the Land of Snow frowned and started to make some seals. "Careful, Kakashi. It almost sounded as if you weren't joking for a while there…"

Kakashi copied his opponent's movements perfectly. "Who said I was joking, Nadare?"

"Ice Style! Tearing Dragon Fierce Tiger!" They yelled as they finished their techniques, causing two giant masses of ice in the shape of tigers to crash into each other. Before the flakes had even reached the ground though, the two men were already fighting in hand to hand combat.

"The legendary Kakashi Hatake, bested by a loud mouthed kid?" Nadare laughed as he ducked under a punch to counter. "How the Leaf has fallen! Maybe I should have fought the brat instead, since you obviously don't stand a chance against me, you monkey… Agh!" He grunted as he was kicked through a tree and landed heavily in a deeper part of the forest. "Not bad…" He grunted before making some more seals and jumping away from the re appearing silver haired man. "Too bad taijutsu will only get you so far! Ice Style: Wolf Fang Avalanche!" He roared, causing more of his ice wolf constructs to appear from the forest and charge the shocked Kakashi, burying him almost instantly…

"You let that armor get to your head, Nadare…" Kakashi's voice mused from behind the man, soon accompanied by the sound of 1000 birds. "Lightning Blade!" The man yelled as he jammed his enhanced hand towards the shocked opponent from behind, causing a clash between the armor and the attack. Moments later, Nadare jumped away from his assailant, a portion of his armor having exploded and smoking… and a new gash in his side and part of his arm missing, his overloaded armor no match for Kakashi's attack. .

"H-How?" The man hissed as he stumbled back and bled heavily. "My armor was supposed to protect me from any ninjutsu!"

Kakashi frowned as he charged up his hand again. "Everything has a breaking point, Nadare… and you've reached the one for my patience 10 years ago…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

Tsunade sighed as she sat at her desk and finished yet another sheet of paperwork. Oh, how she wished that her teacher would tell her the secret of cruising through this blasted task, but unfortunately, the old man told her that there was a 5 year minimum service requirement as Hokage before the secret was passed down… or unless another war started.

If she didn't respect, love, and know that the geezer would help her out from time to time, she would have personally made sure that her teacher's retirement was a short one.

Oh well, at least the years she put in before the timey-wimey bullshit counted.

Hearing a knock on her door, the Chief Chesticle sighed… paused with an odd urge to kill a certain handsome author, and then decided to lay off the binge drinking when she was on the clock. "Enter." She commanded in an authoritative tone and watched as Gai Maito and Neji Hyūga walked into the room. "Good. Both of you are here. That means I can leave as soon as this meeting is finished." The woman sighed to herself more than to the pair in front of her, causing them to sweat drop.

"Hokage-sama. What sort of youthful task did you call us here to perform?" Gai asked curiously.

"I am also somewhat curious to the nature of our summons." Neji added. "A group consisting of just me and Sensei is rather odd…" ' _Tsunade-sama, I beg you. Do not put me alone on a mission with this man! At least let us bring Lee along so that he doesn't focus on me!'_ The boy mentally screamed to the heavens.

The woman made no indication that she was able to read Neji's thoughts… though to be honest, she knew that all her shinobi… other than Lee, of course… shared pretty much the same idea when paired alone with the eccentric man. "I have called you two here to assign you a long term A-ranked mission, whose completion time is undetermined…" She started, taking out a folder and hiding her smirk as she saw Neji barely hiding his emotions. "As you know, your teammate Tenten Higurashi, as a chūnin, has obligations that will take her away from your team's missions and activities. In addition to that, she has recently been apprenticed by Scabbard Ōgakari and gifted with techniques that she will need to spend large amounts of time to master. In light of this, I am for the most part taking her off of your team's listings and replacing her with another shinobi…" She handed the folder to Gai.

Neji frowned. Tenten was one of the few girls that he actually LIKED spending time with, and more importantly, she was one of the few people that could get Lee and Gai to shut up… to some extent. Then there was those 2 or 3 dates they'd had over the past few months… but they both agreed afterwards that they both weren't ready for any relationships yet and would shelve anything of the nature for later. Throw in the fact that she was one of the people that were actually helping him get past his shock from encountering Sasori and Deidara and he was very much in favor of voicing his discontent with moving Tenten off of the team and putting him on another A-ranked mission so soon.

"Tsunade-sama… are you sure this is a wise decision?" Gai mused as he looked at the contents of the folder. "The shinobi here that is supposed to replace Tenten…"

"Has proven herself to be co-operative in every sense of the word for the past month, providing any and all information she could give us and never lied to us at all, nor has she indicated that she was hiding anything. She has no family, no home, and for the most part, would likely be killed within a year if left to her own devices." Tsunade stated firmly. "The reason why I picked your team in particular is because of her interesting condition… if you would look at her medical status, Gai…"

The taijutsu expert blinked curiously as he flipped through the pages and took out the sheets of paper describing her condition before his eyes shot wide open in shock, confusing Neji. "This… this is… how is it possible? By all rights, she should be dead… but instead…"

"What caused this condition is the reason why she has been so cooperative in the first place, Gai." Tsunade frowned. "Do not think that I am so trusting that I would let someone to become a part of my village so easily. Your mission is twofold. This kunoichi will become a part of your team, and you will aid her in adapting to her new condition, and eventually teaching her how to exploit it to aid her in battle. With the correct training, she can easily become an extremely valuable asset to the village. However…"

She frowned as she looked at both the individuals in front of her. "Your true mission is to keep an eye on her and make sure that she will not betray us or sell any of our information, should there be any indication that she is going to do so in the first place. Neji, this is why I am also putting you on this mission. I have read of your advanced training in reading other's thoughts by how they move, putting you on a level that would make most of our interrogation experts either ask you for lessons or for an apprenticeship. Hence, you will be an indispensable part of this mission."

Her eyes narrowed further. "From what I have learned from my encounters with the girl, she is still fairly uncertain, scared and confused, but at the moment, we have a shaky grasp on her loyalty. I intend to make that hold stronger by putting her on your team. Your and Lee's attitude towards people… while a bit unnerving at times, is what we need to make her feel welcome in the village. I still, however, want to know any and all confirmed indications that she may prove to be untrustworthy and a possible danger to the village."

"I understand, Tsunade-sama. I will make sure that Lee and I will spread our teachings of Konoha's youthful will of fire to this lost young one." Gai nodded as he handed the folder to Neji, who opened it up and immediately opened his eyes to their max.

He was looking at the prisoner file for Kin Tsuchi.

o. o. o.

Back in Snow:

"It's been a long time since you've been here, hasn't it, Koyuki?" Dotō smirked as he and his prisoner stood in the middle of the rainbow glaciers. "It's a fitting and beautiful place to start the reign of Snow country over all of the Elemental Nations…"

The Princess said nothing as she stared emptily at her surroundings, showing that she had lost hope for herself in her current situation…

Dotō paid no mind to his niece as he held her necklace in his hand and pushed it into the pedestal in front of him, activating the device that he believed was an ultimate weapon. A large snowflake like seal glowed underneath the pair for a moment before it faded away. Soon, the large flat area they were in started to shake and crack. "Now, let's see what my great weapon looks like…" He smirked. His smile, however, didn't last long as the shaking continued and the ice broke more. The air around them started to warm up and steam soon clouded his view. "It can't be… a generator?" The man hissed angrily.

 _'You'll know when spring comes to Snow country…'_ Koyuki remembered those words coming from her father, shortly before she escaped from her first home. "… Spring?" She whispered absently.

"Hah. Hah. Heheheh… well, isn't that a kick to the nuts…" Chuckled a familiar young voice from the mist, gaining the two native's attention. Naruto slowly walked towards the pair panting heavily with a shit eating grin and pointed at Dotō. "You're a jerk, you know that? Hah hah. I've been chasing after you for over 7 hours, running nonstop. Do you know how hard it is to go over 12 mountains in one go? Hell. Even Gai-sensei and bushy brows wouldn't do that willingly!" ' _Even if it did help me out, I will NEVER admit to Ero-nii or Crypt that chasing me around the training grounds for days at a time without rest was helpful…'_

o. o. o.

In the Ōgakari House:

Ghost was lying in his bed between Anko and Hana, both of whom were dressed for… certain activities. All three appeared to be asleep.

Slowly and silently, however, Crypt's head seamlessly appeared from the ceiling and looked at Ghost.

"Waffles?" The insane man whispered.

"Waffles." Ghost replied in an equally quiet tone.

Crypt nodded. "Waffles." He agreed before his head melded into the ceiling again.

The room was silent for several more seconds.

"Ghost, if you don't tell Crypt to never do that again by tomorrow night, I swear I will shove one of my snake summons up your ass during our next session… one of the fire ones. Understood?" Anko growled.

The immortal sweat profusely. "Yes, mistress…"

o. o. o.

Back to the plot:

"You brat…" Dotō growled as he made some seals. "You have the nerve to mock me when you are in that state?" He cocked his arm back.

Naruto paled. "Oh right… I'm exhausted now… shit…"

"Ice Style: Black Dragon Blizzard!" The man roared as he punched forward, creating a, surprise, surprise, black dragon made of a blizzard and launching it at the boy.

"Gotta time this right…" The boy frowned as the attack closed in on him. "I actually want to try and beat a major bad guy for once without using sage or the fur ball's chakra for once in my life…" Just as the massive chakra construct barreled down on him, the boy dashed to the side and managed to get out of the blast range. "You suck! Can you at least come up with an original name for your techniques?" The boy yelled in a humorous tone before remembering to release his seals and slapping himself on the forehead. "All right, then…" The boy breathed out slowly as he watched his opponent make more seals and jumped from foot to foot. "It would have been nice to remember to take them off before I ran for 7 hours straight… but then again, these kinds of fights are more interesting when they aren't completely one sided…"

Dotō, on the other hand, was not amused. "Escape from this, brat!" He roared as he flung out both his arms and two of those black dragon attacks came barreling down on the boy.

Koyuki gasped as the attack appeared to have hit the boy, causing a massive black twister to appear where he was standing. "NARUTO!" She shouted, not even knowing what she was doing at the moment.

As if on command, the boy's body shot out from the clouds straight at the shocked assailant. "Heh…" The boy smirked. "Battle tactic number 43: when the opponent shoots off two of a massive attack at you at the same time, unless shown otherwise, the best way to escape the blast is to shoot through the opening between them at the right time…" He closed in on the man and flicked his wrist, instantly producing a glowing spiraling ball in his right hand. "Let's see how strong your armor is. RASENGAN!" He roared, slamming the technique against his opponent's chest area and causing a clash of chakra to appear.

"What?" The man grunted as he felt the impact of the jutsu against his armor. He was protected, yes, but he still felt a large blow to his chest regardless from the shockwave of the collision. Over the large screaming of the two forces, he never noticed the core of his armor crack distinctly, and he raised both his fists just as the boy cocked back his other arm and produced another one of those troubling balls. "I've had enough of you, BRAT!" He roared as he clasped his hands together over his head and jack hammered the boy through the ice and into the frozen water. The impact of the blow caused the ice around him to shatter, forcing the tyrant to jump back a bit so he wouldn't fall in.

Koyuki, on the other hand, was smart enough to move out of the way when the fighting started, so she had a good idea of how hard Naruto was hit. Slumping to the ground, her breathing grew erratic. She had put her faith in the kid… even if he never found out. His attitude and the way he had gone through the mission had convinced her that there was a possibility that things would be all right… that maybe spring would come…

Turning her head, she saw her bastard of an uncle smirk and laugh to himself. The man that was the cause of all her problems was right there… but she couldn't do anything. She couldn't even get close unless he let her…

"Humph… that brat wasn't so tough…" Dotō smirked as he turned to Koyuki again, sitting there and staring at him blankly. "Now that he's gone, I can decide what to do with you. Should I just kill you here… or yes, it would be appropriate if I executed you in front of your followers so that they will lose hope and won't rise up against me again. Then I can use their forces as my own to take over the neighboring countries…" He walked closer to the woman, savoring the increased look of fear in her face. "I'm sure they would be glad to serve as my forces' cannon fodder." He grinned as he reached down to take her to his castle again… only to barely dodge out of the way of a swinging kunai that the woman had slipped out from her coat and grazed his neck, almost cutting a major artery. "Gah!" He roared as he stumbled back and held a hand to his neck to slow down the bleeding.

"He was right…" She muttered, sloppily readying the blade she had gotten from Naruto in the village they were staying at as a precaution. "You're the kind of idiot that would let your guard down when everything seems to be going your way…"

"You little whore…" The man growled, his temper raising to new heights. "I was just going to end your life in front of the villagers, but now I'm going to torture you until I see fit, then kill you in front of their eyes." He took a step forward. "I'll have you beaten, raped, maimed, gutted, starved… but you will still be alive to see the faces of the people as I cut your head off!"

He charged at the woman, intending to make her pay for her attempt to kill him. Koyuki, on the other hand, had different plans and was about to kill herself to prevent such horrors from being shown to her people.

Both were surprised when two chakra blades shot from the ice and slammed Dotō away from the woman before either could make good on their goals. The large man's face was a mix of shock and rage as he realized what was happening to him before the blades stopped extending and he fell back heavily to the cold ground. "What?" Koyuki gasped in disbelief as she looked to where the blades look like they originated from.

Suddenly, the air around them grew incredibly thick and heavy… and alive. Both of the people there could tell that whatever was generating such a feeling was pissed and strong. Very strong.

"The water is fucking cold, you ass…" Grunted a deadly serious Naruto as he slowly rose from the water until he was eventually standing on the surface. There was a fair amount of blood running down his head. Koyuki would have almost snorted at the boy's remark about the water's temperature instead of getting hit impossibly hard if it weren't for the fact that he seemed to generate a completely different feeling than normal. The previous seemingly-insane boy had turned into a cold warrior that didn't even pause to think about the wounds or his current condition.

"You… who are you?!" Dotō roared as he made some more seals. During this time, he never noticed that the sun was rising, causing a cascade of colors to reflect off of the massive glaciers surrounding the group.

The boy let loose a small smirk. "Naruto Uzumaki. Konoha's Feral Gale, future Hokage… and the brat who's gonna take you down." The massive feeling flooding the area doubled on itself. Several chunks of ice cracked under the new pressure, causing both Dotō and Koyuki to pause and stare at the boy and wonder what the hell he was doing to cause such a sensation.

For Dotō, however, this only lasted for a moment. "You little bastard! It's over for you!" He yelled insanely and launched another double dragon barrage at the boy…

The boy didn't even look remotely interested as he swept an arm in front of him, causing the attacks to be batted away from him and explode to his sides. Moving his arm again in scooping motion, they boy smirked as a blast of wind forced Dotō to fly towards him and close the distance between the two by half its original length.

"W-wow…" The princess breathed as she watched the spectacle unfurl in front of her. She could somehow tell that the boy was in control of the air around her… that every breath she took was merely an extension of himself. "… The Feral Gale…" She whispered, remembering that the boy had called himself the same thing when he had chased her back in the Land of Fire. Obviously, the boy hadn't simply made the name up for the sake of sounding cool…

"Huh… there really is chakra coming from the light… who knew?" The blonde mused absently as he looked at the glowing glaciers and took in a deep breath, ignoring the shocked looks he was getting. "… It feels nice…" He opened his glowing eyes again and glared at the scared man who was getting back to his feet while holding an arm out. "Let's try this again, shall we?" He asked, creating another Rasengan in the open hand and drawing energy from the light around him, but this time, the colors inside the sphere seemed to be darker and more concentrated if that was even possible. "There's no way in hell I'm calling this Niji Rasengan (Rainbow Rasengan)…" He grumbled to himself as he looked at the colors before grinning. "Sanryōkyō Rasengan (Prism Rasengan)… yeah… that'll do. And just to make sure that you stay down this time…" The boy frowned and scrunched up his face in concentration, causing the ball to nearly triple in size. "Ōdama Sanryōkyō Rasengan…"

Koyuki stared at the glowing ball in the boy's hand in awe. "Beautiful…" She whispered

Naruto turned to the shocked princess and gave her one of his real smiles. "Oi. Koyuki-Hime… you might want to get some distance. This bad boy's gonna let off one hell of an explosion…"

Dotō sweated profusely as he looked at the massive ball of chakra in the boy's hand. His armor was the latest version his country had supplied. His chakra was enhanced. His jutsu were so strong that his three shinobi followers never questioned his orders. He was supposed to be absolutely protected from any kind of ninjutsu in existence, without fail… however, he knew without a doubt that he would not be able to survive getting hit with that attack, armor or not. Despite his level of mental instability, he still decided to run instead of fight the boy, extending wings from his armor and flying away… only to fall, crashing down on the ground seconds later.

"Now, now." Naruto smirked as he continued to approach the man and glanced to where another clone of his stepped out of hiding with its hands in the dragon seal. "We can't have you flying away again after I busted my ass to chase after you for so long. That would be a major dick move on your part."

"You… I'll KILL YOU!" Dotō hollered as he began to make seals.

"Too slow…" The boy whispered as he disappeared from view and reappeared right in front of the tyrant. "This is how a real story ends… ŌDAMA SANRYŌKYŌ RASENGAN!" He roared, slamming the massive ball into the man's chest, shredding apart his chakra shield as if it were nothing. Dotō's screams of pain were only heard for a second at the most before the ball enveloped him in a bright light and launched him back in a hilariously massive explosion that almost reached the nearest glacier.

Koyuki gaped at the power this boy possessed as she hid behind a stone and braced herself through the massive backlash of the attack, as the wind and debris rushed past her without any remorse.

As the attack died down, she gasped and saw that the shock triggered something in the generator. Almost instantly, a ripple spread out from the center of the glaciers, causing a wave of green to instantly cover the once frozen country. Flowers and lakes littered the area, and green grass was in abundance. Looking again where the fight had finished, Koyuki saw Naruto standing in front of a massive crater, panting heavily. "Naruto…" She said disbelievingly before finding her voice again and started to run to the boy. "Naruto!"

"Wow…" The exhausted boy chuckled as he looked around at the change in scenery. "Now that I'm paying attention this time… this really makes absolutely no sense at all… even by Ero-nii's standards…" He paused as he heard Koyuki's yelling of his name. "Oh right… I have the mission…thingy…"

"Are you okay?" The princess yelled worriedly as she rushed over to the boy. "Half your head is covered in blood!"

"Getting jackhammered through several meters of ice tends to do that to people…" The boy laughed weakly and grabbed his head, no doubt dealing with a massive headache at the moment. "I saw you took my advice with the kunai. Not bad for a person who's lost all faith in the future…"

The woman paused before letting off a small chuckle. "Hah… I guess that's what happens when I spend too much time near a crazy psycho of a brat like you…"

"I'll take that as a compliment…" Naruto smirked before his eyes started to droop. "Wake me up when someone gets here… I have a concussion to… sleep… off…"

Koyuki gasped in momentary shock as the boy collapsed in front of her onto the ground completely unconscious. Rushing up to his body, she quickly checked to see if he was alive, only to let out a breath of relief as she saw that he was breathing fine. "You… you really are something, Naruto…" She smiled, letting loose the first tears that she had had for over 10 years. She sat down next to his sleeping body and truly looked at his peaceful body… and kissed him on the cheek. "If only you were a few years older… thank you…"

Turning away, she missed the small smile that played on his lips, one that some people would think was spurred on by some sort of inside joke.

"Believe in the future. If you do, Spring will come…" Echoed a distant voice from the center of the glaciers…

o. o. o.

In Iwa:

Kurotsuchi grunted as she went through another bottle of sake at the bar she was in. Ever since she got reamed a new one by Ōnoki, her life has been down the shitter. She still got missions and got paid. She wasn't bugged by any of her peers more than normal. No… inside, she just couldn't help but feel like crap. She couldn't do anything to the Namikaze… excuse her, UZUMAKI brat, and if she even attempted to spread any word about his existence in an attempt to get him killed, Ōnoki would be on her ass faster than he would one of Jiraiya's new books, only in not such a loving way… fucking hypocrite of a leader.

She couldn't help but blink back a tear at the reason why she hated the blondes so much. It had been 15 years since the Yellow Flash earned his nickname and decimated a large portion of Iwa's forces by himself with a single jutsu… her parents were among the casualties. Since she was an only child and had no relatives, she was sent immediately to the orphanage. Iwa encouraged orphans enter the shinobi program since there was less fallout if they died. Cruel, but true. Kurotsuchi inherited her parent's belongings, and on the day she entered the run down building, swore to avenge her parents' deaths.

Two years later, her life had come crashing down on her again. Word had gone out that the Fourth Hokage had been killed when the Kyūbi attacked Konoha. While for the most part this was beyond good news for Iwa, considering that their personal boogeyman was dead, the still preteen Kurotsuchi was mortified. She had been training nonstop in order to get her revenge on the man for what he had done to her. She was already a genin, far earlier than her classmates, and her teacher had even recommended her to go to the next Chūnin Exams. Two years of constant training, abandoning her friends and her previous life… gone because of a stupid fox.

"Yeesh. What happened to you?" Grumbled a seemingly common chūnin as he sat next to the disgruntled woman. "You look like you just got dumped by the man of your dreams… then Ōnoki started reading his porn in front of you again…" He sniggered.

The teen didn't respond as she glanced at him sideways. He was one of the guys she talked to whenever something under the table needed to be done. His appearance aided in his work, since it made him nearly indistinguishable from the masses. Medium height. Medium build. Short dark hair. Dark eyes. Some small battle scars and no missing appendages. All in all, he was a decent catch for any woman to have so long as they weren't picky… but because he was so secretive, he never stuck with a single relationship for long and he kept on changing names so frequently that people just gave up and referred to him as 'the Merchant' now. So far his business with her had always been related to her missions, but she knew that the man had a bone to pick with anything doing with the Namikaze as well. Rumor had it that he was related to the death of his female student a few years back…

"I wish…" She grumbled, drinking her sake again.

The man didn't seem deterred in the slightest by his friend's attitude. "You know… I heard you were with Ōnoki-sama when he went to Konoha. The sights there must have been something… what with all those trees around."

"Too much of that blasted combination of blue and yellow if you ask me…" She snorted, not bothering to see if the man showed any reaction at all. "Even the small plants seemed to be right in front of your face the entire time. At least here, there's open space to breathe…"

"Hah…" The man chuckled, though almost anyone could tell he was faking by the glint in his eyes. "It's just like you to hate something that almost anyone else would find enjoyable, Kurotsuchi. I hear it's actually good for your health to have a few forests around. Tell me about the Exams, though. Word is that Konoha had a bunch of extremely talented brats this year."

She rolled her dull pink eyes. "Don't remind me. If you didn't know any better, you'd think that they were jōnin by the way they acted and fought. A few nearly destroyed the arena, for kami's sake, and the rest went insane at some point." The special jōnin chuckled. "Can you believe that one of the first brats that fought wore nothing but a green spandex suit and had a bowl cut? He looked like a complete idiot… and then as he fought, I remembered that Konoha has a taijutsu expert looks exactly the same way. Acts the same too if the rumors are true."

The merchant snorted, hiding the wince he had made. Since he was also a guy that had a grudge against Namikaze, he of course knew a lot about his student, Kakashi Hatake, and through his sources found out about Gai Maito… having a clone of that man running around was bad news in many different ways. "Take a good look around town and you tell me. Or have you forgotten the Agokireme (Rough translation: Jawbreaker) clan? You know, the family that eat stones so that their bodies become naturally as tough as stone?"

"Yeah, yeah." She grumbled as she drank some more sake.

"So how green was it there?" The man sniggered. "I mean, we've all been to the woods at some point, but Konoha is said to be constantly surrounded by the stuff. Something to do with their first Hokage, if I remember correctly."

She smirked, then scowled. "Greener you will ever imagine… but at the same time, you can still see the red underneath that belongs in any shinobi village if you look carefully enough. Kinda reminds me of poison ivy. Even if they are peace loving idiots, they aren't stupid. Seeing them deal with the invasion was proof enough. I swear they must be using some kind of new fertilizer, 'cause those trees look like they pop out of nowhere. It's like they play tricks on you when they're not looking. Then they disappear like dust in the wind…" She paused and looked down darkly. "I saw some new clan of theirs take down Orochimaru's strongest summon as if it was a game after taking on around two dozen of what I could only guess were a bunch of his messed up experiments." She burped. "Can you believe that they actually have a dragon now?"

A small frown flashed on the man's face for a moment before his light demeanor returned. "I see. Well, there is a reason why they're supposedly the strongest of the 5 villages after all…"

The woman snorted. "You know as well as I do that most of the reason for that is because they screw each other so much that they have more ninja per generation than any other village, and because of that, they have a better chance to get some brats that happen to be stupidly talented."

"Whatever works." The merchant shrugged before sporting a playful smile. "Speaking of which…"

"Fuck someone else, you perv. I'm not in the mood." Kurotsuchi grunted as she drained the last of her drink and slammed the cup down on the counter. "I'm going to pass out on my bed soon, and so help me, if I find any indication that someone was in it with me, you are going to be the first I kill."

The man laughed as she took out some ryō, slammed it on the stall in front of her and walked away from him. "I'm honored you think so highly of me. It was nice talking to you again, Kurotsuchi…" He sighed as the girl stumbled out the door. "Well then… I guess I have some more people to talk to by the end of the night…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Hinata swallowed heavily as she found herself under the intense gaze of Tenten, Sakura (who had finally gotten permission to go through her shinobi training again), and Ino at the local barbecue restaurant that Ino's team normally visited. "I-I-I really d-don't think we should b-be talking about th-this…" She stuttered as she tried to figure out a way out of her current situation.

"The hell we shouldn't." Ino purred evilly. "You're the only one who has been spending lots of time around Naruto lately, and we know you have too big of a crush on him to not ask about it. Come on, woman! Spill it! How big is it? Is it soft? Hard? Rigid?" ACK!" She choked as Sakura grabbed the back of her shirt and dragged her away from the now incredibly beet red girl.

"Ino, we really have to work about this problem of yours…" Tenten sniggered before wincing at the headache she still had. Apparently, Scabbard 'conveniently' didn't let her know until after the seal was applied that she would suffer from the damn things for a few weeks. Hanging out with her friends was a good distraction since she couldn't work in the forge or train well with her head pounding as it did.

"Now then… Hinata, can you please tell us what Naruto's new fox parts are like?" Sakura asked sweetly as she held Ino in a full nelson.

The dark haired girl sweatdropped at the scene as she watched the blonde struggle uselessly against the pinkette. "Um… well… his tail is very soft…" She whispered shyly, poking her fingers together, honestly not knowing how the hell to deal with this kind of situation and embarrassed beyond all known reason. "It's like petting a cat's tail, only the fur is longer and thicker, and the… core of the tail is the same…"

"How close to the base did you pet! ARGH!" Ino shouted absently before Sakura instinctively tightened her grip on the girl.

"It's a good thing you're going back home tonight, Ino…" Tenten sweatdropped, trying to ignore the fact that Hinata's face was turning broken blood vessel red number 4… and the strange looks the group of girls were getting from everyone else in the restaurant. "Your dad really needs to get you to stop thinking and saying these kind of things."

"What about his ears?" Sakura asked, desperately trying to change the topic again. "Are they soft too?"

The girl nodded. "Y-yes… he can also hear out of them too… they're sensitive… but since Kiba-kun is my teammate, I knew how to deal with it for the most part without hurting him…"

Ino snorted. "Heh. Next thing you'll be telling us is that he purrs if you pet him the right…" All the girls paused as Hinata looked away in a very innocent manner. "… No way…" The blonde whispered out loud.

"Hinata… you don't have to give me a birthday present this year… or next year for that matter…" Sakura said with a massive evil grin on her face. "I am so telling Sasuke-kun this the next time I see him."

"Please don't!" Hinata squeaked. "N-Naruto-kun would be mad at me if people found out…"

Ino rolled her eyes. "Please. Naruto might 'get back' at you, but he can never stay mad at you of all people. You are the only person that can calm him down just by talking to him. Even forehead can't do thaaaaaaat!" The girl stretched the last word out in pain as Sakura once again tightened her grip on her friend.

"Care to pick your words more carefully next time?" The pink haired girl asked innocently.

"I would if I had more blood circulating." The blonde growled just before she was let go. "Oh… great. I'm seeing spots now…" She said in a slightly airy tone.

"Seeing as if we make fun of Hinata anymore, she will either pass out or snap and maim us, let's start asking about your personal life, Ino." Tenten smirked, ignoring Hinata's red demeanor. "After all, none of US are staying at our boyfriend's place at the moment."

"You make it sound like you have one, panda girl…" Ino grumbled to herself just before a kunai lodged itself into the bench next to her head. "So yes. Chōji's family is great!" She said with wide eyes, perfect posture, and a fake smile that would make Naruto proud.

 _'I can see why Kurenai-sensei is so reluctant to go out drinking with Anko-sensei so often…'_ Hinata though as she laughed nervously. "Have you reconciled with your father yet, Ino? You are going back home today after all."

The girl shifted nervously. "Kind of. Mom's really the one who convinced me to come home… but she says that dad isn't as angry as he was before. I like Chōji, and his family is great… but even I think it's time to go back home now…"

Sakura smirked. "I for one am still surprised that you are dating Chōji of all people."

Ino frowned. "What's that supposed to mean, forehead?"

The pinkette just shrugged. "I just mean that if anyone met you during our time in the academy, they never would have guessed that you would end up with Chōji."

The blonde's eyebrow twitched. "Same could be said about you. No one could have guessed that a weakling like you would actually be a decent shinobi…"

Tenten and Hinata chuckled nervously as the two girls started to glare at each other. "Careful, pig. If my memory is correct, I beat you into the ground during the Chūnin Exams. Do you want a repeat performance?" Sakura growled.

"Yeah, and you were stuck in the hospital since then, forehead." Ino countered, ramming her head against Sakura's. "I, on the other hand, have been doing missions and training my beautifully sexy body since everything calmed down!"

"Looks more like you kept on your routine, but you ate twice as much." Sakura growled. "I can see you barely fitting into your clothes. I see that my choice of calling you pig was on the mark after all."

Tenten grumbled to herself as she attempted to ignore the increased yelling across the table from her and Hinata before she raised her arm to catch the waiter's attention. "Check, please!"

o. o. o.

On the other side of the building:

Kurenai, Anko, Hana, and Yūgao sweatdropped as they watched Hinata and Tenten drag the semi unconscious Sakura and Ino out of the building.

"For being so talented in the Chūnin Exams… I'm surprised that they didn't see that we were here…" Yūgao snorted out loud.

Hana shrugged. "Sakura and Ino were sitting next to each other. Tenten apparently has a massive headache, and Hinata was being asked questions about Naruto. I'm surprised that only two of them left injured from the way things were turning out."

"That reminds me… I still have to talk to Inoichi about Ino…" Anko wept as she hit her head against the back of the stall. "It's gonna suuuuuck."

"It's not as bad as having your daughter make an idiot out of herself in front of several Kage and feudal lords… and pretty much the entirety of the village." Kurenai pointed out before drinking her wine.

"At least you don't have to live with your problems." Hana grumbled. "Even after I forced Ghost to spend 8 hours in the pen where we keep our feral hounds in his cat form… and then somehow managed to get him to immediately afterwards to cook my entire family a 5 star meal… I'm still getting complaints from a bunch of idiots from my clan, even though mom says that it's all water under the bridge between us… so long as he cooks dinner for us every couple of weeks." She added as a side note.

 _'Note to self, have dinner some time at the Ōgakari's…'_ Kurenai and Yūgao thought simultaneously.

Hana continued with her complaining, apparently ignoring the looks the women were giving her. "Can you actually believe that several of my distant cousins tried to set me up on a date with one of their friends? I even had a couple of my extremely distantly related clan members try to ask me out! It's getting ridiculous! Just because inbreeding works with dogs doesn't mean it works with humans!"

(A/N: Fact: Inbreeding pets like dogs actually does work to a degree. A friend of mine is studying to be a vet, and another's family breeds pure breed labs on the side. Humans, on the other hand, is a no-no. My exhibit A is my grandfather. Born a hunchback and missing two fingers from parents that were cousins.)

"That is wrong on so many levels." Yūgao nodded as she drank her beer.

Anko rolled her eyes. "I keep on telling you. Just do what I do. Threaten to castrate them with a rusty kunai if they bug you like that. I'll even give you the one I use when I make the threat and mmhmmh!" Her mouth was covered as Kurenai's hand was preventing the woman from making the sounds she wanted to make.

"Hana isn't going to or ever castrate anyone, Anko." The illusionist sighed.

"Um… I'm actually a vet… so it's kind of in my job description, Kurenai…" Hana chuckled nervously, causing the rest of the women there to sweat drop.

"Muhuhuhuhuhumm." Anko giggled evilly while still being muffled by her friend.

"Hold on…" Yūgao interrupted and leaned forward. "You mean to tell me those rumors are true? That the Ōgakari actually assaulted Tsume-sama and Danzō-sama?" She whispered curiously.

Hana and Anko shifted uncomfortably in their seats. "It's… more complicated than that…" Hana started. "Mom started it… and she knows now that she was in the wrong…" She blinked curiously. "Wait… what? Danzō?"

"Spill it, ANBU girl. The hell happened to the cripple?" Anko ordered, moving Kurenai's shocked arm away from her mouth.

The swordswoman looked around nervously in her seat. "It… happened around the same time as your mom." She muttered. "Danzō-sama disappeared from the council meetings for about a week, which was normal for him. But when he came back, he had more bandages around him than ever. You couldn't see anything aside from his mouth and his eye, and he was pushed in via wheelchair…"

"That's a surprise…" Kurenai muttered. "From what I've heard, he would rather die than appear weak before the masses... and by masses, I mean the council, since he apparently doesn't show up anywhere else."

"Mom said the same thing." Hana sniggered. "Did he say what happened to him, though?" She asked. She had been out of the ANBU loop ever since she had started to teach the genin, much to her shame.

Yūgao rolled her eyes. "What do you think? Of course not. He only glared at everyone. The only reason why we even suspect that the Ōgakari is because Waltz-sama winced when he first saw the man. Other than that, we have no idea what happened. The only hint we have was that he appeared to nearly have a heart attack when one of the idiot civilian councilors tried to taunt Aburame-sama and called him a chicken…" She paused as she saw Hana and Anko pale dramatically. "Apparently you know what happened to him, then…"

"We dare not speak of the poultry of the lower levels…" Anko hissed.

"Feathers… everywhere…" Hana shivered.

Kurenai and Yūgao sweatdropped. "What the hell are you talking about?" Kurenai asked bewilderedly.

"PIDGEON ON A STICK!" Roared the voice of Shadow Ōgakari, catching everyone's attention and causing them to turn and look out the window to see her chasing Crypt through the center of the street with a bucket filled with some odd concoction over her heat.

"LIES! LIES AND KOSHER PICKLES!" The insane man screamed in response, not at all paying attention to the fact that the entirety of his pants was aflame as he ran away from his sister.

"SAVE YOUR COMPLAINTS FOR WHEN YOU ARE SACRIFICED TO THE MAGICAL LEOPLURODON!" Shadow replied as the pair disappeared around a corner.

"Squeh squeak squeeeeeaaaaaaakkkkk!" Zuzushi chirped loudly in what seemed like irritation and defiance as she followed them through the air.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Wow, it's 10:45 already?" Anko mused, not even looking at a clock and desperately trying to change the topic of conversation.

"I don't believe it…" Yūgao whispered to herself. "You actually can set your watch to their insanity…"

"You know what? I give up." Kurenai sighed. "I've been around the Ōgakari long enough to know that unless it's actually important, learning anything about them will result in the loss of too many brain cells."

Anko and Hana let out a breath of relief.

"Speaking of the time, I really do have to get some sleep." Yūgao sighed as she took out her wallet. "I'm covering for one of my buddies tomorrow, so I have a double early patrol duty shift tomorrow."

Hana winced. She had the misfortune of having those before. It sucked.

Kurenai took out her wallet as well. "I gotta book it as well. Tsunade-sama wanted to see me tomorrow morning, and I still have some paperwork to finish relating to Kiba's change in teams."

Hana blinked. "Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Do you know what's going to happen to the runt?"

Kurenai sighed. "No clue. I heard that he might get paired up with Ino and someone else for a new advanced genin team, but until I am told by someone who has proof, it's still up in the air. I feel sorry for him, though. He liked teaming up with Hinata and Shino, and if he's paired up with Ino, he's going to have to deal with all those perfumes she has on her…"

The sister winced again. "There's a reason why none of the females in my clan wear perfume. It burns our noses something fierce…"

Anko mock cried. "For the last time Hana, I said I was sorry. I had completely forgotten about your heightened sense of smell when I dragged you into that perfume store…" She paused. "Oh, Kurenai. For future reference, I made Ino stop wearing perfume a long time ago unless she was making something laced with poison, so most likely if Kiba mentioned his nose burning around her, it's probably the excess fumes from her experiments… not perfume."

"Oddly enough, that does not put my worries to rest…" The genjutsu mistress sweatdropped. "I'll be sure to let Kiba know that. With that being said, I'm off…"

"Later." Yūgao said, following the woman out the door.

"Well, they were a big help." Hana grumbled as she finished her drink and reached for her wallet. "What now? There's no way we're staying outside while those three are in the middle of another marathon, and we just ate and drank, so clubbing is out…" She sighed. "Actually, now that I think about it, I'm going back home. I have work tomorrow, and trying to 'fix' animals is hard enough without a hangover or a massive headache." She put down some money. "If I remember right, you also have a courier mission to Taki tomorrow. Try not to make an idiot out of yourself, Anko. It would suck if you lost all the good reputation you've made since the invasion…"

Anko's demeanor dropped. "Aw man. I was hoping you wouldn't remember that." She shrugged and took out her wallet. "Kill joy…" She grumbled before smirking just as Hana reached the door. "Try not to have sex with any of your cousins tonight!" She yelled loud enough for everyone in the bar to hear her, including Hana, who tripped and head butted the doors hard.

"Why you…" The Inuzuka growled as she rubbed her sore head and blushed angrily. "Two can play that game… Only as long as you don't get lonely enough that you have to summon your snakes for the extra 'company', Anko!" Hana yelled back before walking out the door.

"That was only that one time and you know it, Hana!" Anko roared before the purple haired woman froze and remembered that she was in the middle of a crowded restaurant. "… Ah, fuck."

o. o. o.

Somewhere north of the Land of Fire:

Kimimaro blinked absently as he approached Orochimaru's northern base. He could already see that things were falling apart from the empty guard posts that most people would have missed. It had been several weeks since he'd encountered the Konoha shinobi, and he could honestly say that in a way, they had been the most trying ones in his life, next to the recent period he had where he discovered he was useless to Orochimaru.

The bone wielder had spent his time traveling alone whenever he could help it. He had no money to start off with, but since he was a shinobi, it was an easy task for him to kill some deer for food, and kill some bandits for tools and cash. Personally, he thought that the deer put up more of a fight.

Regardless, the teen traveled to various places where he knew Orochimaru had some contacts stationed in order to find out the story behind the invasion. Much to his displeasure, no matter who he asked, the story was roughly the same. Orochimaru attempted to kill the Third after summoning the First and Second Hokage when a member of the new clan in the village stepped in to help. Trees blocked the view of what happened inside the barrier. Someone killed Kidōmaru with an obscenely powerful ninjutsu and hence destroyed the barrier, but there was another one set up inside preventing Orochimaru from escaping. Orochimaru summoned Manda while he used what sounded like his 8 Branches Technique. The revived Hokage SOMEHOW betrayed Orochimaru, teamed up with the Third and killed his master flat out in a giant fire. All three Kage then ran around the village and pretty much fucked over the rest of Oto's forces since Suna betrayed them at the last moment.

No one had heard or seen Kabuto since he himself had, and everything that the rogue Sannin had made and set up in his lifetime was slowly falling apart. The previous two bases that the Kaguya had visited had either completely blown up on itself, or the staff and prisoners had all died in one massive bloody free for all massacre.

There were survivors when he got there. There weren't when he left.

Seeing as he wasn't going to get anything else done by wandering around and hoping that the next random base he visited had different news, the boy decided to go visit his sole friend within Orochimaru's ranks. The origin of the cursed seal. Jūgo.

Kimimaro's thoughts were halted as he suddenly had another coughing attack that lasted several minutes. Breathing heavily, the boy removed his now bloody hand from his mouth and reached for the pouch the man had given him. 1 pill per week. That was what he had been told, and so far, that was how it had been. Despite how much work Orochimaru and Kabuto had put into him, to cure him, this man out of nowhere had managed to produce a potent stall to the end of his mortality and gave a sufficient supply to him without any hesitation. He had a significant supply now, but he was not stupid enough to think that the effects would remain the same as time went on. He would need to take them more frequently, or there might be some sort of brainwashing drug hid in them. Being around Orochimaru and Kabuto for so long had enabled him to learn a few things about the chemistry of the human body.

Getting his breathing under control again after swallowing down the blood red pill, the boy stretched his senses outward. He could already tell that there had been fighting around here. It wasn't surprising; this was where most of Orochimaru's experiments with the Cursed Seal were kept. The air was heavy with the scent of blood and mutated flesh as he opened the main gate and walked in. Without even batting an eyelash, he proceeded to skewer the experiments that attempted to blindside him from the other side of the entrance.

"Pathetic…" He muttered as he withdrew the bones from their shocked faces before pausing. His skills didn't appear to have dropped much since he was put into intensive care… yet that man had still played around with him as if he wasn't even a threat. He had never been so outclassed since… Orochimaru. He frowned. The more he thought about it, the more he believed that that man was related to his master's demise.

He continued deeper into the base, frequently taking down the sad excuses of trash that failed to live up to Orochimaru's expectations until he arrived at a large, vault-like door. Without hesitation, he began to undo the various locks and slides that kept it in place.

"N-No! Don't open the door!" Yelled a frantic voice from the other side.

"Jūgo… it's me." Kimimaro stated emotionlessly as he continued to work on the complicated mechanisms.

"K-Kimimaro?" Jugo said in a surprised tone. "It's really you? I thought you were unable to come this far north because you were sick." There was a pause. "Is it true? Is Orochimaru…"

"Yes… unfortunately…" The pale teen mused in a slightly irritable tone as he turned some of the final levers and opened the door. "Apparently, Kabuto-san was a traitor and sold me out to one of Orochimaru-sama's old acquaintances. Due to some unforeseen events, I was able to escape… and through the same source, I came into possession of something that would stave off my illness for some time…"

The Kaguya was interrupted as Jūgo rushed out of the barely open door and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're okay." He wept sadly. "You're my only friend. Everyone else here went crazy when they got word of the failed invasion and Orochimaru's defeat…" He began to shiver. "I could hear the screams… I could hear the fighting… I was close to losing it…" He grabbed his head. "Another few days… and my other side would have had more control again…"

Kimimaro didn't make any facial indication that he cared as he slowly pushed the boy away from him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "You have nothing to worry about now that I am here… come. We are leaving."

Jūgo nodded as he followed the stronger teen outside, wincing as he looked at the bodies of those that were obviously killed by Kimimaro. Now that he was there, Jūgo didn't have to worry about going berserk anymore, and felt more at peace than he did in a long time. Wincing again as he stepped outside and his eyes adjusted to the light, he turned to his hold on sanity. "Um, Kimimaro? Since Orochimaru-sama is well… dead… and you said Kabuto-san is a traitor, where do you suggest we should stay? We're not exactly normal enough to pass as orphans, and from what I understand, any hidden village would arrest and dissect us because of either our powers or because we were under Orochimaru's care in the first place…" He looked down sadly. "I don't want to anger you, but you have to remember that I went to him in the first place because I thought he could help me with my condition…"

Kimimaro didn't say anything as he stood still in front of the boy. He didn't really focus on it much before since he was really just trying to confirm what happened earlier. However, he had to come to terms with the fact that Orochimaru was dead, and so for the most part, the world was spreading its very sharp and lethal looking arms out in front of him. He could technically just travel around and live as a freelancer. He had the physical skills to pull it off at least… but his street smarts were so lacking that odds are he would fall into more traps than get a decent job. He also knew that his strength wouldn't be ignored for long either. He'd be found pretty quickly… and odds were high that Sasori would be among the first to find him. He was powerful, but he wasn't stupid enough to think he would be able to take down Sasori any time soon. Like Jūgo said, joining a village was out. The second anyone found out about their relationship with Orochimaru, they were as good as dead… not that the sickness that he had wasn't doing the job already. Lying low probably wouldn't work either, since he had a notoriously short fuse and could rip his bones from his body, and Jūgo was a mostly pacifistic bipolar homicidal maniac.

Frowning, he realized that he was in reality left with one option that would lead him to a moderately satisfactory future, and it was a gamble at best…

"Jūgo. Come." The bone wielder said in a slightly irritated tone, startling the boy as he walked south towards the Land of Fire. "We have someone to get in contact with…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"Welcome back…" Inoichi said lightly to his daughter as she walked with him back to their home. The Yamanaka clan compound was odd compared to many of the other clan compounds in that it was extremely close to the main market of the village. Even the Akimichi weren't as close, and they frequently went to the market to restock their kitchens. Part of the reason for this was because the clan was rather small, so it was easier to fit them in such an area, but the other reason was because they were mind technique specialists and thus chose the area so that they could observe as many people as possible for their studies without appearing suspicious or out of place.

Ino smiled weakly as she went to the door. "You're still mad at me, though…" She stated sadly.

Inoichi sighed. "More like disappointed. We both know why at this point, hopefully… but it's been long enough that I've managed to cool down a bit…"

"Enough for you to give me my private garden back?" The girl asked in a sweet and innocent tone.

"Not even close." The father snorted, causing the girl to slump her shoulders in depression. "You can use the plants that we keep in bulk in the store, but that's it. I'm not foolish enough to keep you away from the thing that gives you half your fighting tactics, but I'm also not stupid enough to let you near the more dangerous plants any time soon…" He paused as he noticed Ino was about to say something. "… Unless you are teaching the ANBU how to make some of your mixtures at their request. Don't think I don't know about that, Ino. I've had several captains ask for you in person, requesting for some of your paralysis agents. Let's just make one thing straight. If I find you sneaking home any more potential 'projects', I'm gonna wipe your mind of any B-ranked or above poison and recipes AFTER I force you to write them down for me so that I can hang them over your head to do anything I want. Got it?"

Ino sweat profusely as her father stared at her intently. Next to the Hyūga, the Yamanaka were the best at reading other people at a glance, and they WERE the best in the village when it came to finding out secret information from others when they were allowed to use their techniques. Since Inoichi was the clan head, there was no way in hell she would be able to sneak anything back home without getting caught at some point. "Y-yes, daddy…" She whimpered and dropped her head in defeat as they walked into their house.

"Good." The man said with a complete reverse in his personality as they moved toward the kitchen table, where his wife was waiting for them.

"Ino! We missed you so much!" Mrs. Yamanaka swooned as she ran forward and hugged her little girl. "I heard you were staying at the Akimichi's. Did they take care of you? You still trained, right? How is Chōji? I haven't seen him in months…" The questions continued as father and daughter sweatdropped.

"She's fine, dear." Inoichi sighed. "You know as well as I do that Chōza wouldn't do anything to hurt Ino…"

Mrs. Yamanaka didn't seem to hear to her husband as she continued her questions. "I heard that you might train under Hokage-sama. Is it true? The ANBU have been asking about buying the recipes to your poison! You could earn a lot of money! Don't worry! I talked to Anko, and she told me she'll lay off the extreme training and…"

And people thought Ino was a gossip…

And so this was pretty much how the rest of the night played out. Ino had to pretty much answer all of her mother's questions in full or else she would never get any sleep that night, and Inoichi knew better than to try and step in between his wife and his daughter when the former was in her gossip mode. In the meantime, he observed his daughter closely, just to make sure that she wasn't showing any symptoms of what could happen to a Yamanaka with an unstable mind. It wasn't that he didn't trust his daughter, it was simply because they were shinobi and, well… shit tended to happen to shinobi, regardless of age, sex, family, etc. To his relief, nothing showed.

Several hours later, Inoichi had reached his limit. There was only so much girl banter a man could take, even if he was a master of mental arts. "I think it's time we should rest. It's already past 3 in the morning, and I am fairly certain Hokage-sama wanted you for something tomorrow."

Ino blanched. "Ah… right." She laughed nervously. "Sorry, daddy. I had completely forgotten about that while I was talking to mom…"

"I noticed…" He deadpanned, earning him a whack upside the head from his wife.

"It's okay, mom. I don't want to do anything stupid the day I got back home, after all…" Ino laughed nervously as she made her way upstairs to her room. Everything in her room… other than her bathroom being sealed off… seemed untouched. Sighing to herself, Ino grumbled as she got into her nightwear, which now had hidden spots where she slipped in kunai out of habit since Anko had decided to train her in defending herself against night assaults. Yawning to herself, the girl turned off the lights and opened the window to her room a crack because the room was slightly stuffy... and she wasn't stupid enough to open it all the way in the middle of the night in a ninja village. With that, the girl yawned heavily, fell into her bed, and fell asleep.

Several hours later, after all the lights in the building in the room had turned off, a shadow snuck into the girl's bedroom through the unlocked door silently. Glancing at the slightly open window, the intruder was glad that she had only opened the window a crack; otherwise the strong sleeping agent he had released into the room might not have worked so well…

Leaning over the girl, the dark dressed individual reached out toward her head… only to quickly retract it and parry the kunai she was wielding with one he whipped out with his other hand at the last second. Jumping back and taking in the situation, he quickly realized that she had been reacting on reflex and was still asleep. "Hm…" He muttered to himself as he put the kunai away. "Anko may be a liability… but at least she can teach properly."

Rushing forward and pinning down the unconscious girl, the man made some seals. "It has taken you longer than expected to come back home, cousin… but now that you are back, you can aid our village properly." His hand rested on the girl's head. "Let's see what you can tell Danzō-sama about the Ōgakari…"

o. o. o.

In a dark room somewhere in the Land of Fire:

"So we shall make our move soon?" Whispered one haggard voice to the others.

"By the end of the month." Answered an older one. "I still need some time to figure a way past the security seals around the gates…"

"Idiots." One of them spat. "How foolish of them to expect to keep us of all people down with seals… it shows how far Konoha has fallen under the Third's rule…"

"I have heard from the guards that he has stepped down…" Another whispered. "… That Tsunade Senju has taken his seat…"

"Should we attempt to talk to her… attempt to convince her of our cause?" A younger man asked hopefully.

"No… she is as foolish as her teacher and her teammate, otherwise she would not have been chosen to replace Sarutobi." The eldest sounding voice grunted. "We will deal with her when the time comes. What of the scum here? Have they shown that they can be co-operative?"

The youngest of the group sniggered. "Yeah. Low born idiots, all of them. They ate up everything I said as soon as I started talking…"

"It's that mouth of yours I'm concerned about…" The eldest grunted. "You didn't tell them too much, did you?"

"Of course not!" The youth hissed. "Only that we might be able to get a way out thanks to our eyes and we might need some help…"

"What of THOSE two?" Another mused. "Are you sure it's a good idea to bring them along?"

"Extra muscle is always welcome…" The eldest snorted. "… Especially if the owner is too stupid enough to think for itself."

"Very true…" Snorted one of the men there. "Unfortunately, Hiashi and the Hokage fall into that category…"

"It matters little…" Grunted the eldest as his white eyes flashed in the dim light. "When we finally move, all of Konoha will know of Hiashi's betrayal and the true nature of those Ōgakari fools. Only after that can the Hyūga name be redeemed…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

School. Blarg.

Did anyone else notice the distinct increase in Spanish and other non-English fanfics lately?

So yeah… Konan is Female Paper Ninja Jesus… sweet.

The more I watch the previews for Naruto ninja storm 2, the more I think that my fights in this fanfic are going to kick soooooo much ass.

Last week's red vs blue proved to me that Monty Oum is still in the game. Epic with a capital Epic.

Once again, sorry if this chap seems a bit dry at parts, but school is bleeding me dry like a high end succubus vampire hybrid. My sarcasm meter needs to be recharged.


	53. Should I actually make these chapter titles actually titles now, because it's kind of disturbing that I have been making them unique monologues for so damn long…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 53: Should I actually make these chapter titles actually titles now, because it's kind of disturbing that I have been making them unique monologues for so damn long…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Up in the place where polar animals are quickly dying from having their natural habitat thrown out of whack:

Naruto yawned as he sat up and attempted to regain coherent thought, but failed miserably as he realized he had a massive headache, so he settled for swearing profusely into his pillow. "Fuuuuuck. My head. It feels like Baa-chan used it to practice her taijutsu, or worse, she caught me acting like Ero-sennin…"

"And here you thought there was something wrong with him." Kakashi's voice chided someone nearby.

"Kakashi… you know better than anyone else that there are a whole mess of things wrong with the dobe." Sasuke snorted.

"I for one am still amazed by his recovery ability." Haku mused out loud. "With the injuries he had, he shouldn't have woken for at least another few days…"

"Does my pain interest you guys that much?" The blonde growled loud enough for everyone to hear him, knowing exactly who was where, and that he was currently inside a room in a rather large building.

"Yes." They all said at the same time, causing him to weep silently into his pillow.

"I'm surprised you got beat as bad as you did, dobe." Sasuke added. "You normally don't get this wrecked unless you piss off one of the Ōgakari…"

"Tried to blast through the chakra shield with a close range technique…" Naruto grumbled. "Nearly got through, but the bastard jack hammered me before I could hit him again. It was hard to concentrate with the flashing lights, loud noises and the concentration it takes to make the Rasengan. I managed to crack the device, but for good measure, when I got back up I used a bigger one to take him out." He winced. "Hits to the head are one of the few injuries that still take a while to heal…"

"We could tell." Kakashi sighed, having a good idea what technique the boy used in his fight. "Dotō was literally all over the crater you made. I assume that Jiraiya taught you how to use Rasengan?"

"Rasengan?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"It was a technique created by the Fourth Hokage… my teacher." Kakashi said off handedly as he produced one of his own. "It was actually my inspiration to make Chidori, and in turn, Raikiri… though to be honest, Chidori is still a bit weaker than Rasengan due to the fact that Rasengan is to my knowledge the most complicated form of shape manipulation ninjutsu ever made, even if it doesn't have any elements added to it…" He let the ball disappear, taking note of the shocked look in Sasuke's eyes. "Actually, Rasengan was supposed to be mixed with an element eventually, but my teacher died before he could complete it. Some other people in the village know Rasengan too and have tried to complete it, but so far no one's been able to."

Haku looked confused at the cyclops. "Kakashi-san… if you are able to use Rasengan as well as Chidori and Raikiri, why don't you use it instead of the others?"

The man looked at the girl in a depressed way. "That hurts, Haku. I can't simply put aside moves that I put so much effort into making just for that reason…" He paused to let his words sink in before taking out one of his books and completely ruining the moment. "… but to answer your question, the answer has three parts. The first is simply because Rasengan takes too much concentration for me to use. Rasengan is outside the body while my techniques are part of the user, allowing the user some flexibility in movement while in the middle of combat without falling apart on itself. Second, it's simply easier for me to use since I've been using it for so long. Rasengan may be more efficient, but if I'm not as good using it as my other techniques, then it's pretty much useless. Thirdly, Rasengan takes up too much chakra compared to my techniques. Even a weak powered one is still strong enough to blast through buildings. Despite my vocabulary in the ninja arts, my stamina is still nothing to write home about, so I fight efficiently." He turned a page. "Remember, a technique is only as potent as the person using it. I myself have only used Rasengan at most once or twice on a mission throughout my entire shinobi career, yet you all should be aware by now that I have quite a reputation among the Elemental Nations…"

Sasuke blinked before laughing in a strained way. "Damn… if it's that hard to use, I'm baffled as to how the dobe managed to learn it at all… and just when I thought I had a move that he couldn't beat too…" He grumbled as he made his right hand crackle with some electricity.

"Teme. Stop being such a baby." Naruto grumbled, still trying to bury his head under a pillow. "There only thing Rasengan can do is blow stuff up. It's inflexible as hell when it comes to almost everything else. Chidori is able to do more because it focuses more on the elemental composition, so it isn't confined to one form. Kakashi-sensei's been screwing around with those techniques a lot lately. Some of the variants he's come across are useful as hell, even if he hasn't mastered them yet. I doubt he'll hold them from you as soon as he gets them down…"

Kakashi frowned. In all honesty, he was simply recreating the variants that the Sasuke from the previous timeline had created. It didn't feel right to him that he was taking credit for his student's work… but then again, so long as Sasuke's inferiority-superiority hybrid complex didn't kick in again, he would manage. "Naruto's telling the truth. I was hoping to make it a surprise for when I mastered them a bit more, but I guess Naruto's mouth had the priority…"

Sasuke shot an accusing look at Kakashi. "How the hell does the dobe know about the techniques in the first place, Kakashi?"

"Who the hell do you think played the role of the training dummy, asshole?" Naruto's muffled roar replied. "The log is holy and useful as hell, but a decent sparring partner it does not make. I think you would be grateful that I was zapped a few hundred times in order for Sensei to master a technique he was eventually going to teach you… though mostly, I did it so you wouldn't be able to bitch to me about me learning stronger techniques when you finally found out about them…" He paused. "And NO, teme, I'm not going to act as your testing dummy for those techniques. I've lost enough skin already, thank you very much."

The chūnin and the special jōnin looked at Kakashi skeptically, as if they were waiting for his input on that last statement.

Kakashi shrugged as he turned a page. "Eh. During the end of the training, it looked like he lost about 2 layers of skin every time he was grazed by the technique… all three if it was a direct hit… which, since we are talking about myself and Naruto here… meant that I hit more often than not."

"It hurt like a motherfucker!" The blonde roared. "Even after the damage was healed, my limbs would still be numb and the wounded area would throb for a good hour before they went away!" He paused. "On a seemingly unrelated note, I found out that cooked me smells delicious."

Everyone inched away slowly from the boy. "I'll try not to keep that in mind…" Sasuke nervously stated with an eyebrow twitching.

"I should have known." Sighed a new voice from the doorway. "You've been up for less than 10 minutes and you're already disturbing your teammates."

Naruto smirked as he moved the pillow away from his head to see Koyuki in noble clothes smirking back at him. "You're just jealous because you don't smell as tasty as I do…"

The woman blinked several times before shaking her head. "Forget it, kid. You're too young for me. Come back in a few years and then we can talk."

"Hah. You wish. By then, you'll be too old for me, princess." Naruto sniggered.

The woman was unfazed by the boy's comment as her grin turned more evil. "You know, as the new leader of Snow country, I can request as many missions as I want from Konoha. I think I'll ask for a certain annoying blonde brat when I need something done…"

"Yeah, yeah…" Naruto grumbled as he sat up again and rubbed his eyes. "I'll be sure to let Ino know you have your eye on her. I'm surprised that you're a lesbian, though…"

The rest of the Konoha shinobi sweatdropped as the two exchanged insults and thinly veiled jabs at each other for several more rounds. They sighed, knowing that this wasn't an odd occurrence.

"Hey…" Naruto yawned as he looked out the window. "Are we still in Snow country… because it looks more like Spring…" He paused. "Hold on… please don't tell me that huge green shift I saw before I passed out wasn't actually a hallucination… was it?"

"Nope." Kakashi eye smiled. "Congratulations, Naruto. You somehow did the impossible again and managed to shift the climate of an entire country by an entire season."

The blonde blinked before groaning and pulling the covers over his head again. "Ugh. It's too early to deal with stuff like this…"

"Naruto… it's 2:30 in the afternoon." Haku corrected in an exasperated tone.

"Eeeeaaarrrrllllyyyy." The boy grunted from under his pillow again.

"Hmm…" Koyuki pouted in a fake way. "That's a shame. Sandayū and his men went through so much trouble to outfit Dotō's old castle with explosives, too. They're scheduled to go off in a few hours, and they'll be disappointed that the hero of our country won't be there to set them off…"

There was a dramatic pause. "… Go on…" Naruto said in an intrigued tone, causing everyone to sweat drop again.

"That's… about it really." She shrugged. "Sandayū said that since we managed to take down Dotō so quickly, all their stockpiled explosives for the revolution were saved… so they're just going to use a good portion of them all at once in the building. From what he's told me, most of them are small strategic explosives, but there are some large scale ones mixed in as well…" She took note of the river of what seemed like drool coming from under Naruto's pillow. "… to be honest, I don't think it's enough to take down the tower. We might need some extra power to do it all in one shot for the festivities…"

The blonde's head slowly moved from the pillow, his eyes were as sharp as their coloring… and his teammates knew something horrifically destructive had been awakened. "… What's the limit of firepower we can use?" He asked calmly.

"Uh oh." Sasuke swallowed.

"Koyuki-sama… you should really think about this before you answer his question…" Kakashi advised, the skin on his face noticeably paler than before.

The woman smirked, clearly thinking she had things under control. "A good portion of the country will be watching from the mountains half a mile to a mile away if needed. So long as no one is hurt, anything is acceptable."

"Kakashi-san… I'm scared…" Haku whimpered as she saw the calm smirk on the whiskered boy's face.

"We all are, Haku… we all are…" The cyclops whimpered.

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

The Ōgakari clan paused and looked up at the sky as one, temporarily stopping from putting their musical instruments away as they stood in one of the village's busiest market intersections as they had just finished another portion of what they called 'random music day'.

It was one of the few events where Crypt was allowed to use his arms in public. Surprisingly enough, he was very talented at playing the drums.

"I sense potential massive property damage… and warranted fear…" Shadow mused out loud, ignoring the looks and cheers they were getting from the villagers.

"Even better… it's apparently legal…" Ghost grinned.

"Poor, poor unknowing fools…" Waltz shook his head.

"Yay! Explodey boom booms!" Crypt cheered, his arms strapped back into their restrained position.

"Oi! Ōgakari!" Growled a new voice from the crowed, catching everyone's attention. All eyes turned to see several large Inuzuka males standing with their partners and their arms crossed in an attempt to look intimidating. "We need to talk."

"Puppies!" Crypt squealed like a small child before running over to the group, surprising everyone who did not know how insane the man really was.

Before Crypt even got halfway to them, however, the modified baby leash hooked to his back snapped taut and he fell flat on his face. Everyone looked to see Waltz holding onto the other end with one hand and a bored look on his face. "Strange solutions for stranger problems, people. Get used to it." He sighed as he pressed the button on the handle that retracted the rope.

"Wheeeee-rock-eeeeee!" Crypt giggled stupidly as he was slowly dragged backwards across the ground, causing everyone to sweat drop.

Scabbard walked forward while massaging his temple, inadvertently causing the Inuzuka hounds to grow slightly restless. "I apologize for my brother's actions. If you may, what did you gentlemen need to talk to us about?"

The apparent leader, a man who looked like he was in his early twenties and very thickly built, stepped up, trying not to show that he was just as affected by Crypt's act of stupidity, and turned his attention to a seemingly confused Ghost. "You." He pointed at the childish man. "We came here to tell you to stop seeing Hana. Our clan heiress." The crowd suddenly became silent, minus the gossiping. "Ever since you and Anko have been dating, our clan name has been dirtied by your immature antics. For the honor of the Inuzuka clan, you will do as we say."

Waltz leaned next to Shadow. "Who's the side show?"

Shadow shrugged. "Probably from the assault portion of the Inuzuka clan."

"Assault?" The old man mused.

"The clan's shinobi are split between trackers and combat specialists." Shadow replied, having more free time to spy on people than the rest of the clan. "Apparently the males in that section are more in tune with their animal instincts than the rest of the clan combined, so they rarely get to make any major decisions since they have a tendency to let their tempers get the better of them and do stupid things. Also, they apparently have massive libidos…"

Waltz rolled his eyes. "I doubt they're even close to yours, Shadow…"

 _'Since when did I start looking like Scott Pilgrim?'_ "Nope." Ghost yawned as he turned away to finish packing the guitar he was using. "Sorry, but you just didn't convince me. Your selling point sucks and your presentation was corny and overused. You can try again later, but my answer will be the same. I don't like to make deals with cowards who can't take a hint."

That caused everyone to go silent. It was common fact that calling an Inuzuka a coward was one of the dumbest things a person could do… especially if they were from the assault branch.

The group of canine users and partners stepped forward, now focused on Ghost and ignoring Scabbard's presence. "Care to repeat that, dead man?" The leader growled darkly.

Ghost shrugged. "Well it's pretty obvious you failed at trying to convince Hana to split up with me if you are trying to convince me to split up with her. I mean, why go through all that effort to find us when you practically LIVE with the other part of the relationship? As for talking to Tsume… well, either you guys are too scared to try to talk to her about the subject, or you also failed to convince her that I'm no good for Hana."

"Careful, Ghost. Your competence is showing." Scabbard droned as he went back to put more equipment away.

The Inuzuka, who had been momentarily shocked because Ghost was absolutely correct in his theory, frowned as they attempted to regain control of the situation. "Huh. The rumors were true." The leader snorted. "You're good at spewing bull. But you're wrong. This has nothing to do with what we want. We are doing this for the honor of our clan which you are dragging through the ground."

"Says the guy that's trying to strong arm the boyfriend in the middle of public to dump the girl." Ghost yawned. "How about this. How about we bring Hana and Tsume here and hear what they have to say about the situation?"

The bystanders turned their attention back to the local offenders, who were starting to sweat noticeably. "What? Are you so cowardly that you would bring our clan head into this?" The leader growled.

"Yes." The entire Ōgakari clan replied without any hesitation, flooring everyone there.

"What? Tsume scares me!" Ghost pouted. "She's the mother of my girlfriend, so she naturally has the intimidating position over me… it doesn't help that she can literally grow fangs and claws, either…" He shivered, as did many other young males at the idea of a mother-in-law with that ability.

"Will you take this seriously?" The leader growled, focusing more killing intent at the man.

The immortal deadpanned. "It's kind of hard to when you're such an easy target and so easily riled up. Honestly. You're in the middle of town and making this big speech about me screwing up your clan's name, but in the en,d you're the one getting pissed off and throwing your killing intent everywhere, looking like a bigger moron in the process. You do know that there are squads of ANBU that patrol the market during the middle of the day in case some enemy targets the civilians en masse, right? Using killing intent in a crowded area is something even Crypt wouldn't do unless someone nearby interested him."

"One fish, two fish, red fish, blu-squirrel!" The insane man shouted looking in a random direction.

"SQUIRRRRREEEEELLLLL!" Shadow roared as she put on her gauntlets and charged in the direction Crypt was looking in, with Zuzushi appearing on her hind legs on Shadow's head with what could only be interpreted as her version of Shadow's war cry… only to explode in a bright green light after Scab blasted them with a bolt of electricity and collapse onto the ground as burnt crisps.

"What?" Scab asked the shocked crowd as he picked up the crispy girl and the dragon kabob. "Do you actually think we would let those two lose into the village while in the middle of a blind rage by herself and have her skip her cleaning duties?"

"Right. She has to clean up, too… plus, it's not like anyone else is allowed to touch her bass…" Ghost commented as he turned to look at the woman's favorite, punishable by death if you even look at it funny, musical instrument. He turned back to the irritated Inuzuka. "So… what were we talking about again?" He paused. "Oh! Right! I forgot to ask you guys since I was still somewhat traumatized at the time: how were the steaks I made for the clan last week? Too much sauce? Not enough chopped onions?"

"… I would have liked it if the steak was a tad rarer…" Grumbled one of the men off handedly before he was slapped upside the head by the leader.

"Thanks. Tsume said that she preferred her steak more on the rare side as well." Ghost replied as he wrote down some notes in a pad that he had whipped out while no one was looking. "I'll be sure to cook it that way next week when I come over… now, can you guys tell me what kind of steak sauce you normally prefer?"

The leader growled as he stomped forward and grabbed the chef's shirt. "Stop changing the subject, you childish buffoon! Didn't you hear what I just said? Don't come anywhere near Hana-sama again!"

The immortal deadpanned. "Oi! You're the one changing the subject. I'm busting my ass to make your dinner for you and trying to figure out what you like, and then you start talking about something completely different! How can I not be near Hana if she's my girlfriend and I'm cooking for her entire family? There's no way in hell I'm calling off the dinner. Your clan would kill me! Honestly, did you see their faces during that meal? I became the source of their new crack, for crying out loud!"

The big man growled as he held Ghost closer to his face. "Either they kill you… or I will…"

Before Ghost could answer, however, a large snake coiled around the angry man, hissing menacingly. "I thought I told you to stay away from Ghost and Hana, needle dick." Growled a certain irritated snake mistress.

"Oh hi, Anko!" Ghost waved with a goofy grin. "I didn't know you knew Lamb-chop here."

"My name is Kōga, you worm…" The large man growled as he strained against the snake around him, letting Ghost go in the process. (ED: Translation: Steel fang)

The immortal looked at him analytically before shaking his head. "No… you definitely look more like a Lamb-chop…"

"Pork-Chop!" Crypt yelled.

"Pork-chop to me…" Ghost corrected himself, enraging Kōga and causing many of the watchers to giggle at the jab.

Kōga attempted to bash the man's face in, but he was still restrained by the large snake around him.

"Careful, numbnut. You're already on my shit list for that crap you tried to pull last week." Anko growled. Seeing Ghost raise an eyebrow, she continued with her explanation. "This pervert and his buddies tried to get me drunk and screw me. When that didn't work, they tried to force me to push Hana away from us or else they would start rumors about me being a traitor around town… as if I haven't dealt with those before." She smirked as she shot a glance at the unnerved Inuzuka behind the trapped man. "Idiots didn't even give me a good fight before the poison kicked in."

Ghost giggled. "Wait. You were actually stupid enough to try and force Anko to sleep with you? How are you even alive, dude? Honestly, I still think that last guy that tried to do that is still waiting for his balls to drop again."

"If only I wasn't so plastered at the time… then I could daydream of that look of horror on his face…" Anko sighed regretfully, causing many males to pale and inch away from the woman.

"Is there a problem?" Announced an ANBU with an eagle mask as he appeared out of thin air to most people. "Anko. You do realize that it is highly frowned upon to use ninjutsu in the middle of highly populated areas."

The woman rolled her eyes. "Oh, come off it already. You were watching the entire thing long before I got here, so don't even try to pretend you don't know what's happening." She pointed to the still angry Kōga behind her back with her thumb. "Take this moron off our back. He's been pissing me off for a while, and if I have to spend any more time around his horrible stench, it's gonna stick into my clothes."

"Clothes?" Shadow, Ghost, and Crypt asked, all tilting their heads as they stared at the woman skeptically.

"Ghost, just for that, I'm going to be in charge of our fun time again tonight." Anko deadpanned.

"Damn it Anko! I can't lose any more blood this week!" Ghost wailed, causing many members of the audience to back away slowly.

The woman frowned and put her hands on her hips. "Fine, you baby. How about a massage this time? Full body, front and back, with that good lotion that Hana and I like."

Ghost pouted. "Aw, man. That stuff's expensive. Fine."

"I'll add it to your tab, brother… it's cheaper than getting the bloodstains out of the carpet anyways…" Scabbard sighed as he packed away the last of the wires.

"Huh." Kōga snorted as the snake disappeared. "So that's how it's gonna be? You're just going to hide behind the snake bitch?"

"He's not hiding, dumbass." Anko growled, reaching her limit on being insulted to her face.

"Yes I am." Ghost corrected, crouching behind the woman. "He smells funny."

"Ghost, I swear to all the dango in the world, if you don't start fighting your battles for yourself, I will tie you down and force you to watch Hana and I have kinky sex time without you for a month." The Snake Mistress growled without even looking back at him.

Not even a moment later, Ghost was standing in front of the confused Inuzuka in the fisticuffs stance. "Have at you!"

"He is so whipped." Waltz and Scabbard sighed out loud, getting many people who heard them to nod in agreement.

The ANBU stepped forward. "I am afraid that I must stop this." He turned to the disappointed Inuzuka. "I will be informing Hokage-sama about this incident. Leave the area quietly. Or should I call for backup?"

Kōga growled before snorting and turning his back to the group. "This isn't over, weakling."

Ghost shrugged and yawned. "Fine. Since you're being such a little girl about this, how about I simply kick your ass in one of the training grounds. Will that do?"

Everyone froze, not expecting such a response or change in the man's personality. "The hell is your problem?" Kōga growled. "A moment ago you were hiding behind the Snake's whore…"

The immortal smirked. "What? It's better to organize your beatings than have your ugly ass show up when I don't want it to. This way you can't deny anything. You seem like a sore loser, since you kept this crap up after Anko wiped the floor with you and your boy toys at once, so I plan to personally make sure you get the message. Just make sure you don't moan about cheating afterwards, otherwise I fear you might be doing more damage to your clan's honor than I am…"

The entire group growled dangerously at Ghost, and it was at that moment that he actually noticed the man's partner standing behind him. A massive wolf, easily bigger than Kuromaru, glared at him. Judging from the look in its eyes… rational thought had been traded in for the extra size.

"Humph." Kōga snorted. "Fine. We'll bring spectators to show that no one's cheating. Winner gets Hana…"

Ghost frowned. "One. Hana's not a thing that can be offered as a prize. Even I'm not conceited to think that, you moron. Two. I'm fighting you to make sure you leave me the fuck alone. You. Are. _Annoying_. Hana can make her own decisions. I don't need to prove that. It's no wonder she kept on shooting you and your fanboys down."

Kōga snarled as he turned away, knowing he couldn't retaliate without getting in trouble with the Hokage. "Fine. We'll fight to see who is stronger then. No rules other than one on one. Winner is the one who forces the other to surrender, knock the other out, or kills them. Any problem with that?"

Ghost yawned as he walked away while waving his hand lazily. "Yeah, death and stuff. Ground 82. I'll be there around 3…" He paused as he looked at Anko, who was still seething from the man's comment about her. "… And just to let you know…" He added. "…You won't touch me."

A glint could barely be seen in the eyes of the rest of the Ōgakari as Kōga turned around and frowned. "And people say that I'm overconfident. I'll enjoy rubbing your smug face into the ground, weakling." He walked away again, soon followed by his group.

The crowd started to murmur excitedly about the turn of events as everyone started to move in their own direction. Anko moved towards Waltz and helped him pick up some equipment. "What did he say that interested you so much?" Anko asked quietly.

The old man chuckled as he picked up several massive crates at once. "… Let's just say that the fight is going to be very entertaining, to say the least…"

"Panties!" Ghost yelled gleefully as he ran by with a g-string on his head.

"We'll talk later…" The Snake Mistress growled as she took out a kunai…

o. o. o.

Hokage's office:

"Tsunade-sama, your 3:30 is here." Shizune stated as she entered the room followed by several shinobi of the village.

"Thank you, Shizune." Tsunade sighed as she put her stamp down. She really had to thank Sarutobi and the Ōgakari for cleaning things up before she got here. The paperwork was still hell, but at least the piles didn't make love and reproduce like rabbits anymore. She paused. The scary thing about that analogy was… she actually had that hallucination once when she _wasn't_ drunk. "You can leave now."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." Shizune bowed as she left the room.

"Now then." The Hokage sighed as she looked at Team 8 and 10 in addition to their teachers… and a young Sai. The boy was as pale as ever and his attire wasn't that much different other than the fact that his tantō and some other of his equipment was missing… and that he thankfully wasn't showing off his midriff yet.

The woman had to hold back a smirk as she saw Asuma and Shikamaru glance at the boy several times in shock and curiosity. "I have gathered you all here in order to inform you of the changes regarding your team setups." She turned to the abnormally pale Sai. "Sai here has been noted to be exceptionally skilled despite his status as a genin and is currently being shifted around various teams depending on the nature of the mission. Because of this and the abilities he has used so far, I have determined that for the next Chūnin Exam, he will be teamed up with Kiba Inuzuka and Ino Yamanaka under Kurenai Yūhi as a combination tracking and interrogation unit. However, until you three manage to iron out your teamwork and joint tactics enough to be used in the field, all of you will be assigned to large scale missions, seeing as your previous team setups worked incredibly well." ' _Technically, Sai's already a chūnin, but since he was in ROOT, his papers could easily be whatever the hell Danzō wanted them to be…'_ Tsunade mentally added, for once thankful that the war hawk's seedy dealings worked in their favor for once. "Sai. Introduce yourself." The Hokage commanded.

The ROOT agent stepped forward and put on a fake smile that didn't even fool Kiba. "Hello everyone. My name is Sai. I enjoy painting and making art. My favorite food is tofu…" He paused as he looked at Kiba and Ino. "I hope I can work well with Dickless and Crone well…"

"SAY WHAT?" The insulted pair roared while their teammates tried to not laugh or stop their teammates from killing the boy.

"Ino… calm down…" Chōji mumbled nervously as he held back his girlfriend.

"Hell no! First I wake up with this massive annoying headache, then despite that, I have to spar against my dad, and then I have to deal with this annoying prick?" Ino roared defiantly.

"You tell him, Ino!" Kiba shouted. "No one mocks Kiba Jr. and gets away with it!"

Everyone paused and looked at the Inuzuka disbelievingly. "Kiba Jr.?" Shikamaru sighed. "Seriously, Kiba? You bothered to name it and that was all you could come up with?"

"Oh, come on!" The boy whined, now embarrassed. "It's not like you guys haven't done that at some point yet…"

"Nope." The Nara yawned. "Too troublesome to think up of a name."

"I just don't want to be hit there…" Chōji chuckled nervously.

"I do not see the point in such an endeavor…" Shino stated logically while shifting his glasses.

Asuma yawned. "I'm past that point in my life. You tend to come up with at least a dozen names for it every time you get drunk with your buddies when you're still young. I've given up trying to settle on a name."

All the women in the room sweatdropped. ' _That explains soooo much and yet so little at the same time…'_ Kurenai and Tsunade thought at the same time.

"Wow… I didn't realize that so many of the guys in the final round of the Chūnin Exams were eunuchs…" Sai commented without any remorse.

Tsunade sighed as Hinata and Shino restrained their partner again. She had heard from Naruto's group about Sai's personality before his ROOT training was slowly undone, but seeing it firsthand really put things into perspective. Hopefully the kid would know better than to run his mouth at her. "As you can see, Kurenai, you have your work cut out for you… however, at least you will be working with your original team on occasion in the meantime."

Kurenai nodded as she rubbed her temples. "I'll try, Hokage-sama. I'm used to Kiba, and Asuma can tell me how to deal with Ino… but with Sai here, things are going to be difficult to manage."

While all this chaos was going on, Sai analyzed all the people in front of him. ' _Kurenai Yūhi. Recently promoted to jōnin, and Genjutsu Mistress of Konoha. Slightly above average in most standard fields of combat, but as her name suggests, she is sufficiently above the curve when it comes to chakra control and genjutsu. Asuma Sarutobi. Son of the Third Hokage, one of the few wind affinity types in the village, an ex-member of the 12 Shinobi Guardsmen, and also a jōnin. He is sufficiently experienced in most areas in combat, but is known to wield chakra blades with high proficiency. Team 8, consisting of Hinata Hyūga, Kiba Inuzuka, and Shino Aburame. A tracking oriented squad, each one of whom has a unique form of taijutsu. Hinata has been noted to show exceptional progress and has spent the most time with the Ōgakari beside Naruto Uzumaki.'_ His eyes shifted over to Ino's team. ' _Team 10. The second generation Ino-Shika-Cho trio, their combination tactics have lead both generations to be quite reputable. Shikamaru Nara has also been noted to be exceptionally skilled and dangerous, as well as having spent much time with the Ōgakari. I will have to try to obtain information slowly and carefully for Danzō-sama…'_

The boy was snapped out of his thoughts when a sudden pain shot up his leg. Wincing and jumping back, he saw Kiba's ninja hound, Akamaru, growling at him. "Well, this was unexpected…" He said out loud. "The rat here has a bigger dick than the rest of you…"

The room was silent. Kiba had always had a bad temper, but things were taken to an entirely new level with him whenever Akamaru was insulted. "What did you call Akamaru?" The boy growled.

"I see your hearing is as gone as your penis." Sai smiled, seemingly oblivious to what he was saying. "I said that your rat is packing more than you do…"

"ENOUGH!" Tsunade roared, catching everyone's attention immediately. "Sai! I do not know how you interacted with your previous teammates, but so long as you are under Kurenai's tutelage, you will watch your tongue or I will personally order you to wash your mouth out with soap! Kiba! Ino! Remember why you two are still genin while the rest of your teammates have been promoted! Do not let such trivial comments impact your judgment!"

Everyone in the room stood at attention, not daring to anger the Hokage any more than she had already been. "Yes, Hokage-sama!" Everyone chanted.

Tsunade nodded. "Good. Everyone aside from Hinata and Ino are dismissed." She eyed the two confused girls. "I have some things I wish to speak to you two about…"

o. o. o.

Back up north:

Sasuke, Kakashi and Haku looked at each other nervously as they saw Naruto run back to their post from the soon to be blown up castle. Near them, Koyuki, in her semi-ceremonial robes, stood with a smirk next to Sandayū and the director with his camera crew, aiming their equipment at the disaster waiting to happen.

"Koyuki-sama… I know that Naruto said that it would be best if we backed up some more to put two and a half kilometers between us and the castle…" Kakashi started. "But… knowing Naruto's general definition of safe… and only having a general idea of what kind of equipment he has on hand… I think it would be best if we double our current distance… or maybe triple it."

"I'm still in favor of the quadrupling option." Sasuke stated firmly.

Sandayū bowed down in regret. "I apologize, Kakashi-dono. However, this is the farthest we can be and still remotely set off the explosives. "

"Plus, there's no way in hell I'm going to miss filming this!" The director shouted firmly. "This will be the perfect ending to the greatest documentary action film ever made!"

"I'm fairly certain this is the only documentary action film ever made…" Haku sweatdropped.

"Hey guys!" Naruto shouted as he landed on the platform. "Sorry I took so long. I had to find the right spot to put my explosives so the castle would still take the most damage without accidentally sending too much debris into the air…"

"I take back my previous statement. Five times, bare minimum." Sasuke said as he began to sweat.

Naruto pouted. "Don't be like that, teme. I was going to let you set off the explosives…" He paused as he noticed the looks everyone was giving him. "Oh come off it, guys. Sensei took down an entire freaking island and a bridge, Haku turned that monster called a train into a part of the frozen landscape, and I blew up the main bad guy and warped the entire country into a different climate zone! The least teme could do is have a little destructive fun as well…"

"Dobe… I don't know whether to thank you or kill you right now…" Sasuke said completely serious after a minute. There was a pause. "Give me the switch, damn it…"

"All right!" Naruto cheered. "Oh… Hold on one sec…" The blonde made some seals and stomped his foot on the ground, creating a very short earth wall between the group and the castle between them. "What?" He asked. "It's for the shockwave…"

"FIFTEEN KILOS!" Sasuke roared as he began walking up the mountain immediately, only to be held back by Naruto.

"Stop being such a wuss, teme. I have the wall set up, I sent clones to make walls for the civilians that are also watching, and the castle is stuck in the middle of a bowl valley which we are looking down on. Honestly, we're as safe as we can possibly be right now." He paused. "From this distance… tell you what, if something does happen…"

"Which it will…" Kakashi and Haku sighed at once.

"… I'll take the blame for it." Naruto grinned, with a noticeably twitching eyebrow.

"Don't worry, kid. We have that on camera, so he can't deny it later if something does happen." The director chuckled.

"I thought you owed me for videotaping my fight with Dotō and giving you the tape?" Naruto asked skeptically, remembering how the clone he had used to prevent the man from flying away had also taped the entire fight for the movie so he that could get an easy bonus and (after some negotiation) a larger share of future royalties from the director. (He'd get a fair amount already from being one of the lead actors, but an extra 5% was always good).

"Brat, if I've learned anything from being a director for over 20 years, it's to know when an opportunity presents itself, and always take the route that will give me the least possible amount of legal trouble later." The director crossed his arms.

"Naruto, I would advise against putting your fight in the movie." Kakashi said sternly. "Enemy shinobi could use the information from it against you. Plus, if you are shown using **that** technique to the general populace…" He paused, knowing Naruto got the message.

The director smiled. "Don't worry, Kakashi. This isn't the first time I've used actual ninja in my films, and I know I'm not the first to do so. Any shinobi shot have their appearances modified by our special effects crew when the film is in post-production. The jutsu seals are skipped, too, since we don't want kids accidentally blowing themselves up trying to recreate the moves. A little tweaking here and there, and you wouldn't be able to recognize your own voices."

"So long as our actual names aren't used and the dialogue isn't changed to something stupid or sappy, I'm good with whatever you do." Naruto grinned before turning to Sasuke again, who had just been handed the detonation switch. "Problem solved? Good. Teme, start the fireworks already!"

The Uchiha hesitated as he slowly began to press the big red button. "Are you sure that this is the farthest we can be?"

"Sasuke!" Everyone yelled, causing him to flinch slightly.

"Tch. Fine." He grumbled as he looked at the castle and pressed the button. "Don't say I didn't try…"

On cue, multiple explosions went off in and out of the building in series, soon followed by the sound of them going off several seconds later. The fireballs were indeed large, but still nothing that couldn't be imitated by an exploding tag or 20. As the explosions continued, the walls and ceiling of the building could be seen collapsing.

"This doesn't seem so dangerous so far…" Koyuki mused as she watched.

As soon as she finished talking, though, a bright light almost blinded everyone there for a moment, completely engulfing the castle in fire with a continuously widening ring of air racing away from it… and rapidly approaching the group.

"HIT THE DECK!" Naruto and Kakashi yelled. Everyone huddled behind the stone ledge just in time to not get hit by the massive shockwave that passed over them, though their ears were still clearly assaulted by the sound the explosion made.

"Naruto…" Kakashi sighed after checking to see that no one was hurt. "… Why did you have one of Tenten's highly restricted decimation tags on you for this mission? They are restricted for ANBU and jōnin use only… actually, no one is supposed to even know about them other than Tenten, ANBU and specified demolition teams."

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Sensei, how do you think Tenten managed to get enough chakra to make them in the first place?" He watched as the cyclops paused before slapping himself on the forehead for overlooking such an obvious fact. "I got a couple as payment for making them." The blonde continued. "I take them with me on missions because people still try to break into my apartment once in a while. They don't get in, but I didn't want to risk an idiot getting their hands on something so dangerous."

"There are too many things wrong with that statement…" Sasuke sighed out loud as he got up to look at the damage and momentarily shivered. Before the explosion went off, the castle was still somewhat standing. Sure, walls had collapsed, but for the most part it still looked like a castle. Now… now you could barely make out the rubble and the crater in the ground through the massive amount of smoke coming from the debris. "… Remind me when we get back to petition the council to forbid dobe from ever learning sealing techniques…"

Naruto grinned. "Too late for that, teme..." He paused as he looked at the castle's remains. "The destruction of the castle and Dotō's rule was like ripping off a band-aid… quick and incredibly painful." He turned to Koyuki, who was finishing trying to straighten out her clothing after dropping behind the earth wall in a hurry. "I hope your reign over the country is the complete opposite… Koyuki-sama…"

"That… actually made sense in a disturbing way…" Haku whispered to Kakashi.

"Shh… Naruto actually addressed someone with respect for once…" The cyclops whispered back.

The Daimyō returned Naruto's smirk with one of her own. "I'm honored that you've given me your blessing… future Hokage-sama. I hope our countries will have more business with each other in the future…"

Naruto crossed his arms and put on a thoughtful look. "Hmm… I guess I can put in a good word for you with my predecessor…" He mused before he and Koyuki broke out into simultaneous laughter.

Soon enough, everyone else was laughing with them too.

"I'm gonna be rich!" The director shouted gleefully to the sky.

o. o. o.

ROOT Compound:

Inside his sparse office, Danzō looked down on one of his most loyal followers after reading the report he had just been given. "I have seen your cousin before, Fū." He murmured with a quiet, but aged voice. "Her behavior and personality leave much to be desired… are you certain that this information is reliable?"

The Yamanaka traitor nodded. "Yes, Danzō-sama. Even though my cousin spends most of her training with Anko Mitarashi, she has still been party to information about the Ōgakari that, for the most part, is not known to the masses… or much of the shinobi populace, either. Due to her personality and history, her mind has developed to naturally filter general information into three sections. Things she can talk about that she has witnessed. Things she can talk about that she has heard from others. Finally, the last section is designated as things to keep quiet about." He paused. "It appears that the third section is the least influenced by her personality, as it has much of our clan's secrets in it, as well as her training from Mitarashi and personal experiences…"

"I see… so then, most of this information comes from the third portion of her memory." Danzō mused as he turned another page, reading everything there and trying to connect as many dots as possible.

Fū remained quiet as his leader went through the information. His mission was extremely risky and potentially could have gotten him killed, but it was necessary. Danzō knew that kidnapping the Yamanaka heir was out of the question. The Ōgakari had let ROOT know that they had infiltrated their base many times before, so there was little doubt that they knew that he, Torune, and several other clan members were part of the organization. Because of that, Danzō had to move slowly and extremely carefully if he wanted to make sure that he wasn't caught trying to one-up the Ōgakari. Fū was the main lifeline in this regard with his skill in his clan's techniques. So long as he kept a low profile and delved into his cousin's mind no more than every 3-4 months, no one would be the wiser.

The man paused as he mentally categorized his cousin's antics since Ino started to train with the Ōgakari roughly half a year earlier. The first thing he did, of course, when he searched the girl's mind was look for anything regarding the clan in the third section of her memories…

The second thing he did was immediately shove aside all the memories in that section involving what was dubbed as kinky sex time… yeah.

As soon as he cleared his mind again, Fū was immediately greeted by the memory of Ghost's eyes. The spy had been expecting many things, but not the fact that the main thorn in Danzō's side was completely blind.

Every memory that even seemed somewhat informative regarding the Ōgakari was copied and stored in Fū's mind. Eating habits, frequent quirks, likes, dislikes, their home's structure, skills, powers, the list went on. Such information was always cherished by shinobi, who were trained to exploit such habits. He also made a definite note on their use of their killing intent, as the way it was felt by others and applied was much different than the way most shinobi used it. She hadn't been instructed in how it was done, but Fū had little doubt that she would be in time.

Once he was done with the memories involving the Ōgakari, Fū turned to the memories regarding Naruto Uzumaki, seeing as his development was nothing short of miraculous over the past two years. Even with his training, Fū had to gape at the memories of thousands of the blondes training in ninjutsu or chakra control. Such a tactic being performed by anyone else would have surely killed them the moment the clones were made…

A few more random facts were found here and there, but when it came time for the Chūnin Exams, he had hit proverbial gold, in the form of the boy practically shouting out loud that he not only knew that the invasion was happening, but that he was the one who had used the technique that killed one of Orochimaru's main followers.

Once more, he copied the notable pieces of information before finishing his information sweep on Shikamaru Nara, due to his being on her team and his close proximity to the girl. Once again, he was shocked by what he had found. The Nara had apparently known about the invasion when he'd just graduated from the academy! Even Danzō-sama didn't know about Orochimaru's plans until a few months before the tests were announced!

All these thoughts of Fū's, however, did not escape the mask that was his face as he stayed in his submissive posture in front of the war hawk.

Danzō quietly read each paper in extreme detail, going so far as to unblock Shisui's eye to permanently fix the documents in his memory. More than once, he temporarily stopped moving as he read a certain bit of the paper, the closest thing he would show to being shocked outside of the battlefield, before grunting in displeasure or understanding and continuing his review. After what seemed like hours, the war hawk moved the bandages back over his implanted eye and burned the documents with a small candle he kept for such occasions. "… I trust that you left the subliminal messages in her mind." The war hawk stated emotionlessly.

Fū nodded. "Yes. From now on, she will be more likely to choose the course of action that will enable her to learn more about the Ōgakari should the opportunity present itself and the danger isn't high. Other than that, her psyche has been left untouched."

"Good. This way, we will have what we need: a spy that cannot be caught nor traced back to us. We have learned much… yet this is still far from enough to reclaim Konoha. We will continue as we always have. Avoid the Ōgakari, but keep our ears open." Danzō said as he got out of his seat and walked to his personal meditation area. "Please resume your duties… I have much to think about."

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Compound:

"GHOST! GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!" Roared a very pissed Hana Inuzuka as she kicked down the door.

"Kinda in the middle of giving Anko a massage, Hana! I'd love to talk, but I love my organs intact and on the inside of my meat body sack a bit more!" Ghost's voice responded somewhat hysterically.

Hana growled as she stomped towards one of the rooms designated for the threesome's private endeavors, completely ignoring Shadow and Crypt, who were both in fat suits (those costumes that make a person look like a sumo wrestler) with giant rubber open hands the size of stop signs, slapping each other relentlessly in the living room.

"Hana!" Shadow shouted. Slap. "It's good to see you!" Slap. "Unless you're here to kill us." Slap. Slap. "Then, not so great." Slap slap slap slap slap. "That's it Crypt! You're going down!" Slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap. "Combo breaker! 32 hit flaming counter slap combo!"

Boom!

"Why does one of them always explode when they do things like this?" Scabbard sighed as he walked towards the fresh, burnt hole in the wall roughly in the shape of a fat Crypt. "I would suggest asking for their version of the story before maiming them." He advised as he walked past the teen. "Rumors have a nasty habit of skipping important details as they travel between people."

"I'll try to keep that in mind… though right now, I'm even more pissed that I wasn't called over for a massage too…" Hana growled as she stomped downstairs to the room she knew was made for massage time, followed by her triplets, and opened it to reveal a naked Anko lying on her stomach and moaning in ecstasy as Ghost worked her lower back with his coat off.

Ghost looked up. "Before you say anything… it's exactly what it looks like."

"I just got back home from a mission that didn't even last me half a day and the first thing I hear is that you are fighting that ass from my clan Kōga for my hand in marriage!" Hana growled. "Explain. Now."

"Told you the civilians would fuck up the story." Anko moaned as she snuggled into her pillow. "Thank god. That knot has been bugging me for days…"

Ghost shrugged as he rubbed more lotion on his hands. "Short story? Kōga and his followers tried to intimidate me in public to dump you. I said no. Pissed them off. Made some cracks about Tsume. Tried to redirect the conversation. Didn't work. Anko came and nearly cut their balls off. ANBU came and scared him away, but not before I decided to stage a fight with the dick tomorrow so that he would leave us alone, since he doesn't look like the type to simply let something drop. It would be troublesome if we left the timing up to him."

Hana didn't know whether to be relieved, disappointed, or enraged by the quick tale. "So my future has nothing to do with the fight?" She asked, slightly less stressed than she was a minute before.

"Oh, it has everything to do with you. We're just not admitting it." Ghost shrugged. "If I actually lose, you'll never be able to get that guy to leave us alone."

"Prick and his buddies tried to get me to run you off before they tried Ghost…" Anko moaned. "It didn't work, so they went with trying to rough lover boy up."

"Great… I think…" Hana groaned as she rubbed her temples and leaned against a table similar to the one Anko was on. "I guess I'll just talk to mom tonight and she can beat some sense into the ass… he's been trying to get into my pants since I hit puberty. When the Uchiha were still around, he would constantly pick fights with them to prove how tough he was. His partner hound Shinkumaru is even worse. There've been a few times where he almost raped one of my triplets if someone didn't catch him in the act. Unfortunately, we can't do much there, since our clan encourages animal instincts to a degree, and Kōga's used it as an excuse to get out of trouble every time. I myself have nearly been gouged out by him occasionally during his mandatory checkups." She sighed, glancing at her triplets, who were all looking down ashamed. "But unfortunately, those two are among our best assault specialists, so they're allowed that kind of leeway…"

Ghost raised an eyebrow. It was hard to see at first, but there was a definite twitch in Hana's movements ever since she'd gotten back, which he could tell from experience never meant anything good. Now that he thought about it, she had been somewhat on edge these past few weeks. "And you don't kick his ass… why? I'm fairly certain I've told you that you're clearly one of the strongest shinobi in the village right now in terms of raw destructive force…something that I'm fairly certain is his only tactic in a fight."

Hana didn't say anything as she hugged herself and looked down to avoid looking at the other two in the eyes. The temperature in the room dropped almost instantly.

"… Shit…" The other two said at once as Ghost got off Anko and quickly embraced the shivering teen. "So it's like that..." He whispered as she began to cry quietly. The triplets soon followed suit and whined in both fear and shame.

"He almost did… 3 years ago…" She whimpered into his chest. "Every time I'm near him, I just want to _get away_ … the triplets are the same with his partner…"

Ghost comforted the girl gently and rocked her back and forth. "You didn't tell Tsume this, I'm guessing…"

"Probably didn't want to embarrass or disappoint her." Anko mused. "She is the heiress, after all, and more importantly, Tsume's daughter. She probably figured it wouldn't look good for either of them if she appeared weak-willed in front of others."

Ghost felt Hana nod slowly in response. "Why haven't I heard of or seen this prick before?" The man asked quietly.

"I heard he was on a long term mission to take down a major group of bandits in some fairly distant country. Kōga's one of those shinobi that has the skills and the personality to almost be famous or well-known, but isn't quite there yet, which is why I know this." Anko answered. "Assault Inuzuka still have pretty good tracking skills even though they focus mainly on offensive skills, so it isn't hard to assume that the strong ones get assigned pretty harsh missions… and it's not like everyone else can move faster than the speed of sound, either."

"Yeah, yeah, make jabs at the guy who has been in multiple battles that have reshaped planets. Real smooth, Anko." The man grunted, causing Hana to giggle softly. "Normally I'm not a fan of fighting other people's battles… but considering the circumstances, I think this is for the best…" He kissed her on the forehead as he began to unzip her vest. "Bring Tsume to the fight tomorrow. I want her to see what I will do to those who hurt those close to me." The vest fell to the floor.

"Oi… you're not going to kill him, are you?" Anko asked worriedly.

"No…" Ghost whispered as he kissed Hana again. "I'll play with him… toy with him… humiliate him… make him feel worthless… make him feel completely outclassed and outmatched… then show him a small glimpse of light... only to show the prick that it was all but a ruse... over and over again… but I won't kill him."

Hana didn't know why, but even though Ghost was being more dark and intimidating than ever, she admitted that she never felt more safe or comfortable at any time in her life than at that moment.

Anko, on the other hand, was extremely turned on by the unexpected appearance of Ghosts' sadistic side.

"I will shut him down… and he will never forget his place on the food chain afterwards, if he ever manages to get back up again…"

There was a dark pause… before the pervert squeezed Hana's ass and completely ruined the mood.

"But for right now, though, I think it would be best if you got naked so I can touch you everywhere with my hands…" Bam! "Fuck! My balls! I was talking about a massage, dammit!"

"I knew it was too good to be true…" Anko moaned as she flopped her head onto her pillow in disappointment.

"I know…" Hana grumbled as she began to take off her clothes, hiding her small smile as her "savior" wept on the floor in pain.

"Crypt! Scab? What the hell happened?" Shadow's voice asked from upstairs. "Why the hell are you two grabbing your balls in pain? I didn't do anything to them today, damn it!"

o. o. o.

In a nearby training ground:

"You have _got_ to be kidding me…" Kin said in a disbelieving tone as she saw the 'team' she was supposed to be paired up with in the village… or more specifically, Gai and his mini clone, who were both smiling with teeth that had too much bleach in them and had their thumbs pointed to the sky in what she would learn later to be the 'nice Gai' pose. The girl was dressed in the same clothes she had worn during the Chūnin Exams… except, of course, for her headband, which was now sporting the standard Konoha leaf, and her scarf, which was now forest green instead of the cow pattern that most Oto shinobi wore. She turned to Neji, as he was the closest seemingly sane person in the area. "Please tell me they're joking…"

The boy looked at her emotionlessly for a few seconds before sighing. "I have asked both Kami and the log that same question for well over a year now."

"I'll be around now and then to keep them in line…" Tenten laughed nervously, sympathetically patting the younger girl on the shoulder.

"Kin-san!" Lee yelled somehow from directly behind the group, causing all of them to jump and scream in shock. "I will make sure that your flames of youth will not be diminished by the un-youthful condition Orochimaru has put you in! If I cannot, I will run 5,000 times around Konoha without stopping!"

"That is a wonderful goal, my student!" Gai grinned with vigor. "I will aid you in the task, and if we cannot cure her within the next two months, I will do those laps with you on my hands and with double my training weights on!"

"How the hell did he get behind us like that?" Kin frantically whispered to Tenten.

"Lee's can't mold chakra well so he focuses his training on taijutsu based techniques… and unfortunately, right now he's trying to master the Silent Assassination Technique… which means that his personal goal for the week is to successfully sneak up on 200 people in the village in a row without them knowing." She shivered. "The scary thing is… he's good at it. Really… _really_ good at it. I think it's partially because we've been trying for so long to ignore him that it adds to his ability to get around without being noticed."

"Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted.

"Lee!" Gai responded.

Tenten and Neji's eyes widened, knowing what was going to happen soon. "Kin, rule number 1 about our team: never look at the sunset." Tenten said quickly as she tried to turn the confused girl away from the traumatizing event. Unfortunately, since Kin still had muscle control issues, it was more difficult than expected for the weapons mistress to turn the girl in time, and so the ex-Oto shinobi got exposed to the two green leotard males hugging each other affectionately in the middle of a sunset with waves crashing behind them.

"…Kin?" Neji asked worriedly as the event finally died down. The girl was staring at the two with wide open eyes of fear. "Kin… can you hear me? Blink if you can hear my voice." The Hyūga instructed as he snapped his fingers near her head.

"I have done missions that have forced me to do horrible things. I have killed people… and I have been used by my teammates… and I have even seen several of Orochimaru's experiments before… but this, by far, will haunt me the most for years to come…" The girl said in a traumatized tone. "I have seen things that cannot be unseen…"

"Welcome to Team Gai." Tenten sighed in a defeated tone. "Look at the bright side. Gai-sensei is the best taijutsu expert in the village, so he can help you with your muscle control. If I remember right, you also used senbon in the Exams. I can help you out with your weapon skills when I have time off from my missions and training. I'm here now for physical conditioning and to help ease you into my old spot… if that's possible…" She muttered the last part, unsure if she could, knowing her teacher. "In the meantime, today I'm going to be doing a little bit of training myself, but the day is mostly going to be focused on you."

Kin slowly regained her composure as she saw a rather strong looking practice bow. "Archery?" She mused. "I know Kidōmaru used it a bit in conjunction with his spider techniques… but isn't that field a bit… weak compared to even basic shinobi fields?"

Tenten sighed. She had asked the same question when she had first been told about her introductory training to use her seal. Instead of an answer, she had been given three scrolls from Scabbard. The first was a low level genjutsu that allowed the user to modify their sight to see mid and long ranged objects and places accurately without having a telescoping effect disorient them. The second scroll contained the basic theory for archery, both physical and spiritual. She had already memorized the physical movements fairly well, but she had a feeling it was the spiritual bit that she should focus more on. Something about 'true shooting' and 'letting the arrow be a part of yourself'… bah, Neji was the one who was good with this kind of thing.

The third scroll, however, merely contained an incomplete poem…

"My other Sensei feels that doing this will help me learn some special techniques later on." Tenten laughed sheepishly. "Considering what his personality's like and how he thinks, it wouldn't help to argue with or ask him what he expects of me until I actually get it."

"Some teacher…" Kin muttered. "Still… I bet he's at least more stable in the head than these guys…"

"Kin!" Gai yelled jubilantly as he ran up to the three, shocking Kin into accidentally falling over backwards. "I am so glad that you are already making friends with Tenten! It shows that your flames of youth are still burning strong! Come! We must celebrate by starting our training! Since this is your first day, we will go easy and only run around Konoha 5 times!"

Kin paled. "You… you're joking right?" She turned to Tenten. "Please tell me he's joking."

"Unfortunately." Tenten sighed as she got up. "Come on, the sooner we start, the sooner we can get this part over with. If your control over your muscles is the problem, then sticking with Gai-sensei is probably the fastest way to recover… or die of exhaustion." She mused over the last bit, causing Kin to groan as she got up. "Let's put it this way. By the end of the day, you won't have to worry about breaking anything that comes into your hands… odds are, you'll be more concerned with getting to your bedroom without collapsing on the way there."

o. o. o.

Inuzuka Compound:

"Gah!" Kiba roared as he stomped back into his home, clearly enraged by the day's activities, which mostly involved trying to form a decent team with Ino and Sai. They had managed to at least go through all their physical training without much issue, but the entire day was filled with nothing but yelling and jabs between the three of them. He was fairly certain that Kurenai was more homicidal than any of them at this point in time from having to try and get them to work together. Ino was still a bit on the spoiled side, but since he knew her somewhat well from all their conjoined training, they could get along without THAT much issue. It was Sai that screwed things up massively, with his constant comments about Kiba's penis or his smell and Ino's looks and personality, that drove them all up a wall. It was like the kid, who looked like he hadn't seen the light of day in months, didn't even know how much he was pissing people off! "I swear, if Kurenai-sensei doesn't traumatize him with one of her illusions soon, Ino and I are going to have to hide that bastard's body!" Kiba growled, getting a bark of agreement from Akamaru, who didn't like the smell Sai was giving off at all… or the rat comment earlier.

"Hey, Kiba. What's eating you?" Spoke a deep gruff voice from down the hall. The boy looked up to see Kōga smirking at him and leaning up against the wall of the clan's kitchen.

 _'Ugh. Another troublesome bastard…'_ The boy mentally groaned. He hated to admit it, but he had idolized the cocky elder Inuzuka when he was younger and had been one of his worshippers for a while, which had led to his own somewhat short temper and annoying personality… until he had seen the jerk bugging his sister frequently, to the point of making her cry when she thought she was alone. He would have done something about it… except for the fact that he was also too afraid of the large man to do anything about it, and Kōga knew it. It had been actually fun to be around the house while the guy was off on his oh-so-important top secret mission for the past year… but all good things come to an end eventually. "Hey, Kōga…" Kiba sighed, hoping the guy would leave him alone after explaining his situation. "I'm just bugged 'cause teams are being switched around a bit so that there are functional genin teams for the next Chūnin Exams. I'm with Ino Yamanaka, which is okay since we know each other from class and all… but the third guy is this pasty freak who does nothing but insult the rest of us the entire time. He's a complete ass."

Kōga snorted. "Then why don't you put him in his place, then? Everyone in the clan is raving about how strong you've become lately…"

Kiba rolled his eyes. "I'm pissed, but I'm not stupid, Kōga. Teamwork comes before getting back at someone, otherwise I could get myself killed on a mission since we're supposed to be a recon interrogation unit."

The large man whistled to show he was impressed. "Recon AND I.T.? That's one hell of a combo, runt. Haven't heard of a group specializing in both for a while. You'll have some interesting missions when you get promoted." He paused as Kiba walked past him, clearly not in the mood to talk right now. "Speaking of recon, I was wondering if you could help me out with something."

Kiba stopped and turned around with disinterested eyes. "What is it?" He asked, clearly just wanting to go sleep at the moment.

Kōga shrugged. "I met that teacher of yours today. Ghost or something. We're having a spar tomorrow just to feel each other out and stuff. I was wondering if you knew any of his techniques or strategies so I could be better prepared tomorrow, since he's been around Hana and you for so long that he knows a lot of our basic strategies." He laughed lightly, missing the dark glare that Kiba shot at him. "I mean, all I know from around town is that he's good at wind techniques and is some kind of super assassin… but that doesn't really help out that much."

Kiba didn't buy the idiot's fake act one bit. The moment Hana was mentioned, he immediately knew that there was much more to what the guy was saying than he was letting on. Smirking to himself, he mentally laughed, knowing that he himself barely had anything to tell the guy in the first place regardless. "Well… to be honest…" The boy sighed. "That's pretty much all I know about him, too… other than he prefers to dodge attacks instead of blocking them and he's supposedly crazy fast." He shrugged. "I spent most of my time training with sis. Naruto, Hinata, and Shikamaru are the ones who know more about his techniques."

Kōga frowned. "Naruto… Uzumaki? That de… brat who was always making a mess out of town?"

Kiba yawned as he walked up the stairs. "Yeah. He's Ghost-sensei's personal apprentice and learned a butt load of techniques from him. Sorry I can't be of more help, Kōga, but like I said, I didn't spend much time near the guy, and anything else would simply be word of mouth…" He paused as he reached the top of the stairs. "I gotta memorize these battle simulations for tomorrow…" He paused as Shinkumaru blocked his path, glaring at him hungrily. "Nice to see you too, Shinkumaru… but like I said, I have work to do…"

"Are you sure that's all you can tell me about the guy?" Kōga asked, right behind Kiba now. Despite how angry he was now, he had to give the boy props for not showing any outward form of surprise. "To be honest, he embarrassed me pretty badly in the middle of town today… won't you help out a clan member?" He flared a small amount of killing intent to get his point across.

Kiba frowned, finally losing his temper. "Silly me, I had completely forgotten to tell you that you don't stand a chance in hell against Ghost-sensei, and that I've felt stronger killing intent from kids in my class."

Thunk. Kiba found himself pinned up against the wall as the larger man held him by his shirt. "What was that, weakling? You want to say that again?" Kōga growled, not holding back his killing intent now with his slit eyes.

Kiba gasped before smirking, shocking the older man, who had assumed that his K.I. would force the brat to shit himself instantly. "No. Hi, mom."

"Kōga! What the hell are you doing to my son?!" Tsume growled, clearly not amused by being distracted with killing intent while doing paperwork in her room, and then finding her son being threatened by one of the black sheep of the clan. Pausing, she noticed that the man's partner was growling at her. The woman glared at the dog and raised her killing intent significantly. "You better remember where your place is, Shinkumaru… or we may have to retrain you again." She growled dangerously, causing the large wolf to back off reluctantly. "It seems as if your time away from Konoha has made you forgetful about your place in the clan as well as your manners." She commented.

Kiba coughed as Kōga stepped forward. "Tsume, it's just an accident, really. Kiba and I were just…"

"I'd rather hear what happened from someone who isn't stupid enough to fling their killing intent around the building like some toy while bullying my son inside the compound." Tsume interrupted, surprising and irritating the man. Looking at Kiba, she saw that her son didn't want the jerk nearby for whatever he wanted to tell her. "Leave. I'll discuss this act of sheer insolence with you after I talk to my son." She ordered in a tone that left no room for discussion. The large man snorted before taking the hint and leaving the area, most likely to drink as he had been partial to doing lately. "Explain. Now." Tsume grunted, not even looking at her son.

Kiba took in a few more breaths to steady himself before standing. "The jerk wanted info on Ghost-sensei 'cause for some stupid reason, the two are going to 'have a friendly spar' tomorrow and he wanted to be prepared." He snorted. "The moment he mentioned sis hanging out with him, I knew something was up, so all I did was give him some vague info that pretty much anyone in our ranks knew." Tsume grunted, knowing that Kōga had been gunning for Hana for years now. "Unfortunately, he didn't like what I told him and he tried to squeeze more info out of me, which is where you came in."

Tsume paused and looked at her son skeptically. "You wouldn't have happened to have planned for him to try and rough you up by my office, which you knew I was in from my complaining earlier, would you?"

Kiba snorted. "Would you have preferred me being killed in the kitchen?"

The mother sighed. "Well, it took a while, but at least you're proving that you can plan things farther than 'follow that scent' and 'attack that thing'. Hopefully, the next thing you'll learn is how to clean yourself…"

Kiba's retort was interrupted by Kuromaru walking up to them from downstairs. "Oddly enough, I happened to have heard some interesting rumors while doing those errands around town, Tsume. Something about Kōga trying to order Ghost Ōgakari to leave Hana in the middle of town. The details are a bit sketchy afterwards, which is to be expected considering who we are talking about, but all of them are saying that the two are going to fight tomorrow in training ground 82 at 3pm."

"Huh…. Sounds like Sensei made the challenge… that's a first." Kiba mused. "That's the ground where all the teams meet up for group training… but I've never really heard of him actually starting an actual fight before."

Tsume's and Kuromaru's blood ran cold as a certain recent, painful, and scary memory crossed their minds. "Kuromaru… can you please go to the Ōgakari's and get the details of today's and tomorrow's events from them, please? I have a feeling that they will give a more accurate story of what happened than Kōga did." Tsume asked slowly. "… Also… if Hana is there… tell her to stay there for the night."

Kiba frowned as Kuromaru put down the scroll he had brought into the compound in the first place, nodded, and then ran out the building. "Mom? What's wrong?"

Tsume sighed as she walked back to her office. "Kiba… remember when you were smaller and I warned you about what would happen if you acted too much like Kōga does?"

Kiba and Akamaru both blinked and tilted their heads to the side in confusion. "The part about you ripping me to shreds the moment I even thought about challenging one of your orders, or the part about pissing off someone clearly more dangerous than you and they… ohhhh."

o. o. o.

In Suna:

It was official… the apocalypse was coming. There were no earthquakes, no floods, no outbreak of some new disease, no people speaking in tongues to signify the end. The citizens of Suna had only one sign that it was soon…

"Remind me again why we are carrying all this crap and paying for half of it?" Kankurō wept as he balanced several boxes of clothes, shoes, and other teenage girl apparel in his arms.

"It is sister's birthday…" Gaara mused, trying not to pay attention to the horrified and shocked looks he was getting as he carried his load of what he personally considered useless items via his sand while he walked with his siblings. "She deserves at least this much for putting up with brothers such as you… us…"

"I think I liked you better when you simply threatened to kill me to shut me up…" Kankurō grumbled to the side.

"It's the end of the world!" One civilian roared as he ran past the group, causing them to sweatdrop.

"That's the 6th one today…" Temari sighed before putting the small event out of her mind and glancing at a jewelry store. "Oooh. I haven't been here yet…" She squealed in girlish delight.

"Hey, sis? I know that we have access to whatever's left in dad's accounts as well as the cash we made from our missions, but we still have a budget, you know…" Kankurō advised hesitantly, beginning to wonder if he'd have any spending money of his own after the day was done.

Gaara didn't say anything as he saw Temari walk into the store. He believed that the odds of getting her to listen to reason at the moment were slightly lower than Kankurō getting past his sand defenses. Something about this store seemed vaguely familiar to him…

"Hello, young mistress." The woman behind the glass counter greeted with a bow. "How may I help…" She paused as she noticed who Temari was followed by. "… You today?" She finished with a small strain.

Temari pretended not to notice the woman's reaction to her brother as she looked at all the jewelry with stars in her eyes. "Oh. It's my birthday and my brothers are taking me out on a shopping spree and paying for half of whatever I get…"

"How I was talked into this, I will never know…" Kankurō sighed.

Gaara blinked and stared at his brother in a way that said: 'We didn't talk you into it. You are the bitch of the family.'

"I see…" The woman replied, trying to ignore Gaara at the moment. "Well if that's the case, please tell me what you are interested in, my lady, and…"

"Hm…" Gaara frowned slightly as he looked at the precious stones more carefully. Something didn't look quite right to him…

"What's up?" Kankurō muttered as he put the small tower down. "You don't grunt anymore unless I'm bugging you or something's off."

"… Both…" Gaara answered cryptically as he read the descriptions of the jewelry carefully and compared them to what he saw and what he knew of the stones. Because he used his sand to grind stones to make more sand, and because some of his techniques required him to sort out the various types of sand he controlled, the Kazekage was fairly well versed in recognizing geology and various crystal structures.

Most of the stones in the store were fake… real fake. They looked the part, sure, but the colors and the way he could see through them were all off by a small but unmistakable margin.

The time traveler frowned momentarily as he remembered why this place seemed so familiar. It was one of several jewelry stores that had been set up in the Land of Wind last time around that sold fake merchandise at high prices for years before skipping town when people realized that their wares were not lasting nearly as long as they should have. Normally, something like this wouldn't have been an issue to the shinobi population of his village. In reality, it was one of his first real domestic trials as Kazekage, and it took him forever to deal with the financial issues that the stunt had caused, as their country was one of the largest exporters of rare gems on the continent next to the Land of Stone and possibly the Land of Lightning… and the stunt had greatly hurt their credibility in the market.

Since he was the one who'd managed to create the actual gemstones himself via some tricky sand ninjutsu and use them to both compensate the cheated customers and stabilize the economy somewhat, the event did give him his first real boost in reputation among the civilians in Suna… as well as support from the council, since he proved to them that he could single handedly control the world's precious gem market. Interestingly, he'd never bothered to make a gem after the incident, for some reason.

Now that he thought about it… that's really when the bulk of his fan-girls started to show up…

"I'll be right back…" The woman said, probably getting a copy set of whatever Temari had picked out.

"Thank you very much." Temari sighed, dreaming about having whatever piece of jewelry it was.

"Temari…" Gaara droned as he walked to his sister quietly. "… It would be best if we didn't purchase anything from this store."

"Huh?" The blonde asked blankly. "Why not? Have I gone that far over budget and gotten too many things, or is this place too expensive?"

"D! All of the above!" Kankurō replied from the background.

Gaara's face to Temari, however, translated to E: none of the above… which meant something was up with the place or she had reached the end of her brother's newfound patience. Either one was worthy of concern in her books.

"Fine." She muttered. "But at least let me check out the earrings first…"

The red head didn't reply as he walked back to his brother and sat down in one of the chairs next to him. As he did so, the woman came with simple but expensive looking earrings that Temari had no doubt had her eyes on moments before. Despite his earlier warnings, the Kazekage could tell he would be in there for a while, so he decided he might as well try bonding with his brother again while they waited. "… I haven't seen you participate in complicated missions lately…" He droned without looking at Kankurō. "… I assume that your training is going well?"

Kankurō, momentarily caught off guard by the fact his previously homicidal brother was now trying to small talk with him, paused before answering. "K-Kind of." He stuttered. "I've almost got using two puppets at once down. I just need another week or two to perfect my technique. Once I do, I'm supposed to be getting another one of Sasori-sama's old puppets as a reward…" He smirked proudly, not noticing the flinch on Gaara's face.

Gaara slowly breathed out through his nose. He couldn't blame Kankurō. Sasori was indeed a master puppeteer. Hell, the guy was so dedicated that he turned himself into a freaking puppet…. He looked at his brother and tried to imagine what he would look like as a puppet. On second thought… he'd probably look the same, since his makeup and clothes would pretty much cover any of the joints that would show.

"Plus, there are those upgrades I made to Crow just in case I come across someone who is used to fighting standard puppet masters. Still…" Kankurō continued. "I wish that old bat would make a bit more sense for once. She's an amazing puppet master and everything, but her personality makes me actually want to die young so I don't end up as crazy as she is."

"To be fair, the only other highly skilled shinobi I am aware of that are as old as Chiyo-baa-sama and are still alive are the Third Hokage and Third Tsuchikage." Gaara informed his brother. "… So odds are likely that we will die before we become that old." There was also the entirety of the Ōgakari clan, Madara Uchiha, and Kakuzu of Taki… but no one was supposed to know of them yet.

Kankurō sweatdropped. "When you put it like that… I don't know whether to be happy or depressed…"

Gaara almost smirked. "Don't concern yourself with the topic… perhaps you'll have enough time to figure out which one you want to be by the time you die."

"Yeah… wait… what?" The puppeteer blinked in confusion as he tried to figure out what the hell his brother had just said.

"I'm back." Temari said as she walked away from a disappointed looking jeweler. "What they had was nice, but none of it was really what I was looking for… you two get along without me?"

"My brain hurts…" Kankurō wept as he picked up his stack of items.

"Talking to Kankurō is amusing…" Gaara said in a monotone voice, which in an odd way prompted Temari to snort in a bad attempt to hold back her laughter as they left the building.

"Can we at least get something for dinner now?" The middle child wept. "We've been carrying all this stuff all day and the last time we ate was over 9 hours ago!"

"Fine." Temari sighed, not admitting that she herself was getting a bit hungry too as she took out a scroll, unraveled it, stole all the boxes from Kankurō's grasp and sealed them away before she also did so with Gaara's load before rolling the paper up again. "Let's go to that high class place that imports stuff from the Land of Fire."

Kankurō didn't say anything as he simply gaped at the scroll that Temari put into her pouch. "When… why… how… I hate you so much, Temari…" He wept in defeat as he walked ahead, knowing the place Temari was talking about.

Both elder and younger siblings gave each other a cocky smirk (or in Gaara's case a small twitch of the lips) before the followed the tortured middle sibling. "I believe we should let up on Kankurō… otherwise, it won't be interesting to keep on doing this later…" Gaara mused.

"Gaara, you are solidifying your place as my favorite family member." Temari snorted before calming down and becoming serious again. "So what was up with that jewelry store? I know people treating you differently doesn't bother you to that extent…"

Gaara frowned momentarily. "They were fake."

Temari's eyes flashed in surprise. "Fake? How many?"

"Far too many." The jinchūriki replied. "What is worse is that the store appears to be fairly well furnished and attended…"

"Meaning that a lot of people go there…" The blonde continued, understanding what this could imply.

"And that they are not the only ones selling fakes if they possess so many of them... which is something Suna does not need at the moment." The boy frowned.

"I'll slip in a message with some of the councilors before the next meeting and keep you anonymous until, well… people get used to you more." Temari said, somewhat ashamed of keeping her brother quiet in something this big.

"… Don't feel bad, I was about to suggest the same thing." Gaara sighed. "We're here."

"Hurry up you two! I'm starving and these guys have steak!" Kankurō yelled from the entrance.

"We can mess around with him a little more before calling it quits…" The eldest sibling grinned sadistically as they walked to the waitress in charge of finding seats for newcomers. "Hi. A table for 3 please?"

"A table for 3?" The woman asked, still looking at her book. "Since we aren't busy tonight, we can probably seat you in a few…" She looked up, saw Gaara, and froze. "… Hours…" She finished, a cold tone in her voice.

The siblings knew exactly what was going on in the woman's head the moment she said hours… and Temari wasn't going to have any of that. Leaning forward, she got close enough to whisper to the woman. "Listen here, you fake pair of tits. Today has so far been a very pleasant birthday for me and my family, and we are tired and hungry and have heard many good things about this place. My youngest brother in particular has been extremely well behaved lately, and I wanted everyone to see that… but like I said, we are all tired and hungry. It would be a shame if he lost his patience the moment he finally got some rest from today's activities. He can be so very cranky at times…"

Gaara heard everything his sister whispered (as did Kankurō, since all shinobi were trained to filter out small sounds like whispers) and decided to play along just for the sake of boosting his sister's ego. Before the woman even turned to look at him again, he changed his facial expression to what Naruto in the past/future called his 'alien face', with his eyes wide open and his forehead tilted down to make him look a tad bit more insane than he used to. The cruel prank worked, as the woman nearly jumped back in absolute fear and instantly led them to their table, sitting them as far away from her as possible.

The moment she was gone, Kankurō and Temari burst out laughing as hard as they possibly could, not at all caring about the looks they were getting from everyone else in the building.

Gaara himself even smiled a tiny amount as he was patted on the shoulders by his brother for what he considered perfect acting.

Spending time with his family was nice.

o. o. o.

Konoha Training Ground 82:

"You know… I kinda expected a few people to come watch the fight for kicks… but I didn't think my math sucked so much that this would be considered a few…" Ghost deadpanned as he, Hana, the triplets, Anko, and the rest of the Ōgakari clan witnessed at least 100 shinobi waiting for their arrival. Thankfully training grounds were off limits to civilians, otherwise odds were that half the entire village would be waiting for them.

"I forget… did your balls drop back down again after Hana nailed you… 'cause I'm fairly certain she could have done some brain damage with how hard she hits." Shadow grumbled.

Ghost shrugged. "A few."

Everyone within hearing range face faulted.

"This is why we let Scab do our taxes…" Waltz wept.

"Oi." Grunted a very irritated Tsume as she, Kuromaru and Kiba walked up to the group. "It's about time you got here. I hope you know how much trouble this little event is causing me… you'd better get something done by the end of the day to make this worthwhile. On another topic, I hope I didn't make a mistake letting Hana stay at your place again last night."

"Don't worry, Tsume. Thanks to Hana, the poor bastard spent half the night with his hands down his pants crying." Anko sniggered, causing Ghost to weep some more next to a tree.

"Your daughter nut shot him, Tsume." Scabbard said sternly with a frown, clearly expressing his irritation at the woman for something else completely, which everyone present aside from Kiba knew was.

"Ow…" Kiba winced, trying not to hunch over himself.

"It's quite a crowd we have today…" Waltz mused. "I expected some spectators, but since the arrangements were made yesterday, I expected not even half this number to be here…"

"I'm afraid that gossip in shinobi communities travels much faster than standard social circles, Waltz-san…" Hiruzen Sarutobi chuckled as he walked to the group, dressed in his familiar robes but not wearing the Hokage's hat for obvious reasons. "As for the number of people here, can you not blame them for being curious about finally witnessing one of the mysterious Ōgakari actually demonstrate their skills in public… without a war going on?"

Ghost snorted. "You just want to watch me pound someone else into the ground for once, old man."

Tsume's eyes widened. "What? You two have fought each other before?"

Hiruzen chuckled with a glint in his eye. "Well, I had to have someone decent with plenty of spare time as a sparring partner in order to loosen these old joints of mine…"

"More like defuse." Ghost muttered. "It took you nearly half a month to get used to Enma's weight again when we first started, and the rest of the month to get back to fighting at a speed that wouldn't get you flat out killed against Orochimaru."

"Wait… you knew about the invasion?" Kiba asked with wide eyes.

"Jiraiya of the Sannin isn't the only spy master Konoha has, Kiba." Scab answered with a small smirk.

"Hey old man, who else is here besides you guys?" Anko asked curiously.

Sarutobi stroked his beard thoughtfully. "To my knowledge… a few shinobi from each major clan is here to watch the events… I believe I saw several of your students and fellow teachers walking around in addition to Kiba here. My grandson and his friends wanted to come so much that I couldn't say no… especially after I refused to let him come to the Chūnin Exams. Other than that… I'm fairly sure that no one else of significance is present…"

 _'Other than the ROOT shinobi stationed around the area…'_ Mentally grumbled everyone who knew better… including the Ōgakari, who could sense several bodies trying to make themselves undetected in the area.

"There you are." Sniggered an overconfident voice from the crowd, catching everyone's attention as Kōga and Shinkumaru walked to them. "I was almost afraid you wouldn't show up."

"Puppy!" Crypt gleefully squealed as he ran to Shinkumaru, only to get zapped by Scab and collapse to the ground. Everyone ignored him.

"That's a weird thing to be afraid of _squirrel_." Shadow commented curiously before instantly reacting to the rustling of some leaves nearby and jumping into a guarded stance.

"Hana. I'm glad you came to see the fight." The egotistical man grinned lecherously at the girl.

"Trust me, Kōga, it's not going to be much of a fight. It'll be too one-sided to be called that." Hana grunted as she and the triplets stepped to Ghost… who was at the moment sleeping, if the bubble coming out of his nose was any indication.

"Ah Kōga-kun. How are you?" Hiruzen asked the large man with a pleasant, grandfatherly smile. "I had heard you had arrived back in the village soon after I retired again. How was your mission?"

The Inuzuka puffed his chest out proudly, forgetting about being ignored almost instantly as he tried to show off again. "Heh. It might have taken a while, but the mission itself was a piece of cake. Those pathetic creatures were so weak, they gave demons a bad name…"

"Demons?" Kiba asked curiously. "You mean like the Kyūbi? You fought something like that?"

Hiruzen chuckled. "Somewhat, Kiba-kun. You see, there are many kinds of Demons out there in the world. Only a few, however, are actually strong or violent enough to cause problems for humans, which is why not many people know or hear about them other than the large scale events such as our struggle with the Kyūbi so many years ago. The others prefer to live in isolation and not cause any trouble, much like any other creature that lives in the wilderness. For the ones that do, however… as you can guess, shinobi are asked to deal with them. Demon related missions are ranked B or above, as most of the more hostile demons are as dangerous as standard shinobi. In fact, in addition to being our country's sign of military power, shinobi villages are also tasked with being a sort of 'demon control' for their and other countries."

"Heh." Kōga snorted with pride. "My mission was an A-ranked one, and I didn't even need help from my team…"

"If I remember correctly, I've received several complaints from our clients about you causing more damage than your mission paid for." Tsume grunted. "Something about constantly getting into bar fights and running a huge tab…"

"Whatever. The point is that I kill demons." Kōga smiled proudly before glaring at Ghost. "Of all kinds…"

Ghost, having woken up at some point, yawned and walked past the man. "Yes, yes, I'm sure the log has blessed you with unsurpassed skill to match that ego of yours. Let's just get this over with."

Kōga grunted in irritation before trying one last time to try and woo Hana… only to see Anko standing between them. "Just go get your ass kicked already." The Snake Mistress hissed with a glare in her eyes.

The large man frowned before slowly turning away and following Ghost to the middle of the extremely large field.

"Anko, I should have known you would come here with Ghost…" Kurenai sighed as she waited on the edge with the rest of the remaining rookie 12 and teachers... and Kin and Sai. "Why is it everything you guys do ends up as giant event that we have to worry about?"

"In our defense… Kōga started it." Waltz stated.

"So you guys are the ones who beat Manda?" Kin asked skeptically as she saw Crypt sing to himself and sway limberly while Shadow twitched looking for squirrels. "I'm beginning to think I don't want to be a strong kunoichi any more…"

"Don't say that, Kin-chan!" Lee shouted from behind her, causing her and everyone near her to jump, since the bowl cut lad had snuck up on them again. "You should try to be the most youthful shinobi you can possibly be!"

"Damn it, Lee! How many times do we have to tell you to stop doing that?!" Ino yelled in irritation.

"Hello Ōgakari-sama." Sai bowed down in front of Waltz. "My name is Sai and I am assigned to be Kiba-kun's and Ino-san's teammate for the next Chūnin Exams."

"Hello Sai. It is a pleasure to meet you." Waltz greeted with equal politeness and a kind smile. "I know that it must be a bit frustrating being teamed up with ones as headstrong as young Ino and Kiba, but please make sure to not make things difficult for Kurenai-san. She is a good teacher and she does wish for the best for all of you."

"But of course." Sai smiled transparently.

Whatever he was going to talk about next was put on hold as the crowd cheered loudly. Everyone turned their attention to the middle of the field to see Ghost dodging an onslaught of attacks from Kōga and Shinkumaru.

Kōga attempted to swipe at Ghost while charging him, but the childish and giggling smaller man jumped up and used the energy from the swipe to turn himself upside-down in the air with one hand and walk from Kōga's head to his back with the other. Kōga ducked and attempted to claw the man again in the middle of his stunt, but Ghost had once again used the man's energy against him with childlike ease by using the man's clawing arm to spin himself in midair for another second before stretching down his leg in what appeared to be an attempt to stand on the ground again or stomp on the larger foe. Kōga jumped out of the way with a smirk as he saw Shinkumaru charge at the poor unknowing fool from his back… but missed, as Ghost did not land on both feet as he was expected to, but rolled to the side without pause before popping up a full rotation later and getting some distance from the pair. Shinkumaru tried to pursue the man… but to the surprise of everyone who didn't know Ghost … the wolf couldn't catch the man as they raced around the field. Even more infuriating was that the idiot was screaming the way a child would while playing a game!

"A youthful attempt… however, it will take much more planning than that in order to beat Ghost-san." Gai nodded in a knowing fashion.

"If standard tactics won't work…" Kōga growled as he got down on all fours and channeled chakra to his limbs. "Hidden Art: On All Fours Technique…" He grunted before taking off to intercept Ghost in a pincer maneuver at very impressive speeds. It didn't take long for him to suddenly appear in front of the long haired man and rear back his right arm to take Ghost out… however, his efforts were once again in vain as the supposed victim not only stopped on a literal dime, but reverse swan-dove backwards with a half twist, directly over Shinkumaru, and landed perfectly before dashing away again. Before Kōga could even begin to respond, said pursuing massive hound had collided with him and laid them both sprawled on the ground.

"I've been there before…" Kiba winced as he watched Kōga try and get Shinkumaru off of him.

"Who hasn't?" Hana asked with a snort.

"Is that guy still alive?" Kin asked nervously as she saw Crypt collapsed in a twitching bloody mess a few feet away from her.

"Don't worry." Waltz smiled gently with a bloody fist held up. "This happens more often than you'd think… and unfortunately, the reasons for me to do this come up even more frequently than that."

"I just wish that idiot would stop fooling around and start fighting for once." Tsume grunted.

"…No…" Anko mused with a frown… "He could have won several times already."

"Hoh?" Shadow grinned. "You actually managed to see it? Not bad. Guess all that time being on guard against him stealing your panties finally paid off."

Shino frowned. "Anko-sensei. What did you catch?"

Kurenai blinked. "I didn't see anything."

Neji and Hinata remained quiet. They both knew what Anko was talking about since they had their bloodlines active, but even then they could only barely make out the man's movements and see that he had done anything at all.

"He's getting back up." Sakura stated, forcing everyone to be quiet again.

"You annoying weakling! Can you do anything else other than run away?" Kōga yelled, clearly losing his temper.

"Eat, sleep, blink…" Ghost counted off on his fingers. "I think I can do photosynthesis, too… no, wait. That's Waltz… and plants…" He paused. "You know, you should really take your vest and shirt off. It's been a while since I slipped that timed exploding tag on you… does that also count as something I can do?"

Kōga's eyes widened as the sound of a triggering exploding tag reached his ears. In a frantic struggle to not explode, the man ripped off his vest and shirt in a single motion, which was in itself a very impressive feat, before throwing them at Ghost, who simply ran to the side again to avoid the explosion. Breathing heavily in order to calm himself down again, Kōga frowned and glared at his opponent, who was clearly toying with him… he would have to change that. He paused, however, as he noticed that he was feeling a bit wet on various parts of his body and momentarily glanced down… only to freeze at what he saw.

There… on his chest and stomach… and most likely on his back as well… were several bloody crosses made. Each one made out of 2 neat simple cuts that wept blood to make them more distinct…

All on lethal or permanently crippling parts of his body.

And just for what seemed like a childish kick, there was also a bloody smiley face etched onto his stomach.

"Thank you. Thank you." Ghost bowed down repeatedly to the shocked audience. "You're all too kind. Yes. Yes, I am just that awesome…"

"How… the hell did he do that?" Kin gaped, voicing out the question that was on almost everyone's mind.

"The eyes see what the mind wants it to." Scab sighed. "… Ghost is an expert assassin, after all. You'd be surprised how frequently he uses common magician tricks to get the results he wants without getting caught. For everything else… well, you've seen how fast he is."

"He did the same thing right before the second exam…" Neji mused. "When he stole all those headbands from everyone while we were watching."

 _'Oh dear log, I pissed off another Itachi…'_ Tsume gulped nervously, then she looked at the rest of the Ōgakari, who were simply watching the event as if they expected this to happen and were amused by it. ' _Scratch that… I pissed a clan of Itachis…'_

"Well then…" Ghost sighed, turning to Kōga again while reaching into his pockets. "Since so many people came here expecting a show… I might as well give them something to talk about. Try to keep your eyes open. You might die if you don't…" And with that Ghost threw down a smoke bomb, obscuring him from everyone's view.

"That cocky bastard…" Kōga growled as Shinkumaru got close to him again, preparing for whatever Ghost was planning. "He's trickier than I thought… but eventually he'll screw up. That's when we'll get him…"

No sooner did he grunt this than a large fūma shuriken bolted out of the smoke cloud and flew towards Kōga, who immediately went on guard and focused on the situation at hand. He smirked, as not even a third of the way across the distance to him, a second flying shuriken sped past the first from underneath. ' _Heh. Idiot tried to use a Shadow Shuriken Technique when he couldn't even do it properly. Not like it would work, anyways. All I have to do is get out of the way of their line of flight and… '_

Kōga's line of thought was put to a horrifically sudden stop, much like many of the other spectators, as their brains registered at that moment what was happening. Underneath the second shuriken, which at that point was already at least 2/3rds of the way to Kōga, holding a kunai in each hand… bolted Ghost at speeds that no one had expected of him, at least twice as fast as the second shuriken.

 _'Amazing…'_ Hiruzen's brain mused as it rapidly processed what was happening. ' _He used the failed shadow shuriken as a fluke to hide his real strategy. While the opponent thought it was a failed attempt, he used the fact that the two shuriken were positioned in a way that completely hid his body from his sight as he raced from the smoke cloud. By the time he is seen, the distance between them would is small to evade properly, and even if Kōga did somehow manage to block the attack, he has the two oncoming shuriken to worry about. This is something only a person in possession of unreal heights of speed can accomplish… truly a technique made for an assassin, to be able to make such efficient cover in an open field like this… lying in the shadow's shadow…'_

However, the Third Hokage's analysis of Ghost's strategy was only partially correct as he was about to witness what came next as Ghost collided with the halfway prepared Kōga and burst into a cloud of smoke.

"A clone?" Everyone roared in shock, including Kōga as he tried to process what just happened… only to remember that there were two giant shuriken that were too close to dodge completely and too big to block.

Swearing, Kōga did the only thing he could do and desperately leapt sideways, getting gouged in his side by both blades in the process. The cuts weren't lethal, but they sure as hell would hurt for the time being. "That bastard… when I get my hands on him…" The extremely pissed man growled as he attempted to get back up, Shinkumaru focusing on his wounded partner with some concern… before both froze as they recognized the feeling of cold steel against their necks.

"But wait… there's more…" Chuckled a dark voice from behind them… and both Inuzuka turned cautiously turned their heads to see another Ghost standing behind each of them, holding a kunai to their neck.

"Mind fuck… thy name is Ghost…" Shadow sniggered.

"How… many steps were in that strategy?" Ino gaped in awe. "Where… when… how…?"

Shikamaru frowned. "While everyone was focusing on the fūma shuriken, he came out from the back of the smokescreen with his shadow clones while the normal clone was used to distract everyone. It was moving so fast, it was no wonder everyone watching mistook it for the real thing. The clone was used as a distraction to keep Kōga in place for the shuriken to injure him, both by its presence and revealing to him what it was afterwards. He then used his opponent's freshly injured state to distract not only him, but his partner as well from the two clones that came out from the back as they circled around them, and that's when they went for the kill. HHHHHHHHHonestly… I don't even think Naruto can come up with something like this…"

"So then… do you give up… or should I embarrass you in public some more?" The Ghost holding Kōga at knifepoint grinned… until he noticed that Kōga was also chuckling. "Round 3 is going to start soon, then?"

Kōga laughed darkly. "You know… I was hoping to take you down quickly and not kill you so that Hana wouldn't get angry at me… but you've pissed me off so much that I changed my mind." His chakra began to flare as did Shinkumaru's. "Don't blame me for what happens next…"

Ghost smirked. "No worries there. I'm not the type to blame others for my mistakes…"

BOOM. Both pairs exploded in a massive cloud of smoke.

"Shit… that's…" Tsume grunted as she recognized what Kōga had used.

"Man-Beast Ninjutsu: Wolf Pack…" Growled deep and animalistic voices as the smoke cleared, revealing two massive wolf like creatures that resembled Shinkumaru, each pinning one of the Ghosts to the ground. "You should have given up while you were ahead, coward…" Grunted the one that supposedly was Kōga as he increased the pressure on the man in pain.

Poof. Poof. Both Ghosts disappeared under the claws of the massive beasts. Seconds later, everyone heard slow clapping from the disappearing smoke cloud… where the real Ghost had been standing the whole time, apparently. "Congratulations… you killed two shadow clones. You must be so proud of yourself." He said sarcastically before sweeping out his hands and blowing away the remaining smoke.

The wolves turned on the man hungrily. "Clones or not… this does not change your situation, coward…" Kōga growled. "Your pathetic tricks will not work on us now. This farce of a fight is ours."

Ghost grinned as he stepped forward and flicked his wrists, producing his blades into his hands and undoing some of his personal restraints. "Oh, how cute… you still think you still have a chance against me. You really ARE that stupid…" He stopped, standing slightly sideways to his opponents and bent his legs, holding his blades loosely up, barely resembling any reasonable stance the shinobi present recognized. "I think it's time someone taught you to stop shitting on people's rugs, mutt."

Those who knew Ghost even remotely well knew that the man was still nowhere near fighting at his full potential. Hell, he wasn't even using any of his Presence yet.

Everyone watching held their breath in anticipation… as they waited for the real fight to begin.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah… I myself wasn't planning for the whole Kōga thing to happen for a while or making it so bloody big… but to be honest, I needed something to fill in the time till Naruto got back from the Land of Snow… and surprisingly enough, I think it's turning out pretty well. It helped me expand a bit on the Inuzuka clan as a whole, and I wanted to make a fight where one of the Ōgakari actually FOUGHT in detail instead of a quick skimmed fight against some random weakling. I wanted to elaborate on style, technique, and how their mind worked, and this is the real purpose of what I did here and in the beginning of the next chapter. God mode characters tend to just be one shot, one kill personalities… and like I have proven before, I am determined to break the mold with 500 tons of homemade thermite mixed with napalm. Just as a heads up, there will be another Ōgakari vs. some random dude fight coming in the near (ish?) future, but not for a while. Like I said, this is really just eye candy to fill in some places before the plot comes back.

… Also… I just wanted to get that double fūma shuriken fake x infinity WTF trick out of my system. It was simply just too badass to hold onto any longer.

A personal note… WHY THE FUCK HASN'T ANYONE THOUGHT UP OF LEE ACUTALLY BEING TRAINED IN ADVANCED STEALTH BEFORE ME? THE POSSIBLITIES OF SUCH THINKING ARE NEARLY UNLIMITED, DAMN IT!

In other news… review wise I kinda got a kick in the nuts the last chapter considering the previous two were nearly twice as much. Maybe it was because it wasn't good as before or… yeah whatever. I think this one made up for it with the chaos, exploding things, and awesome mind fucking fighting. So please, review, worship the log, bask in epic awesomeness, and review again. Once again, my goal is 2k reviews by chapter 70.


	54. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedle, dee dee… they won't stop staring at me… bum, bum, bum…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 54: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, deedle, dee dee… they won't stop staring at me… bum, bum, bum…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Continuing on with teh awesomeness:

Speed. One of the most basic and fundamental aspects of combat, speed in particular has always been under or overestimated by a vast majority of fighters. So long as a battle is within a manageable tempo and the opponents can read and match each other's moves even to a small point, speed in its entirety is for the most part ignored save for crucial moments.

However, when the difference between the speeds of two forces is great enough, the rules of the game are completely changed and things become more interesting.

Unlike power, defense, abilities, and perception, speed is unique in that it enables one to act, move, and simply do things within a set space of time. The higher the speed, the more the person can do or travel within a time frame. When the difference in speed between two people is great enough, almost no amount of power or technique would be able to overcome the quicker combatant, who would kill his opponent before he would be able to get anything done. Even if a technique were to be finished, it would have to be on a monumentally large area of effect scale or have some sort of unique property in order to make sure the speedster couldn't simply dodge it, which of course are often highly inefficient when compared to standard techniques.

A prominent example of this would be putting a small child who could move than the speed of sound against a Kage, both armed with only a kunai. Despite the obvious difference of power and skill, all it would take is for the child to slit the elder's throat before they can do anything in order to win. They might as well kill themselves to save the brat the trouble of coming over, for what it's worth. A strong defense or offence can be worked around with time and cunning, but time is something one doesn't have much of when outmatched in raw speed.

However, it is when a person actually masters every aspect of 'speed' that they become something truly dangerous to everything all around them. Not simply moving from point A to point B, but to master it to the point that one could mimic all their daily motions at that rate. Pick a pocket, move through a crowd, dance, read, write, yet still have the same efficiency as when they were doing it in normal time. Individuals that possess this trait, along with the according speed, are never to be underestimated under any circumstances.

It was because of this fact that the Fourth Hokage, the Fourth Raikage, and Itachi Uchiha were damn near worshipped like gods by those who truly understood the level of speed and skill they possessed… and by many others who had no idea what they were capable of.

This is what many of the observers of the fight were beginning to realize and remember as they continued to watch Ghost and Kōga fight in front of them.

Because Ghost OBVIOUSLY didn't want a giant wolf to piss all over him, the man had dodged every attempt his opponents had made to mark him, thus any major techniques such as Garōga were rendered useless. Enraged as they were, Kōga and Shinkumaru both knew that it was stupid to even attempt to try the technique without a properly marked or anchored down target. This did not mean that the two were out of potential techniques to use, as they demonstrated by attempted to gore the man with the classic, if not much larger, Gatsūga. Because both Inuzuka and partner were transformed, the technique was enhanced in both speed and strength. Normally, this would put even a seasoned jōnin on edge…

"Oh dear god! It's like Twister, but with fangs and teeth… and there are no hot chicks!" Ghost yelled childishly as he ran away from the two drills as they attempted to plow down the loud man, yet were still unable to close the gap regardless of how fast they went.

"Damn it!" Kōga grunted as he and Shinkumaru stopped spinning and landed in order to conserve their energy… knowing, much to his disdain, what was about to happen next.

The moment the two landed, Ghost pulled a 180 faster than anyone could have followed and bolted between the two massive dogs. Before they could react, he had shot toward one of the wolves, left a sizeable gouge with his swords on its flank, bounced to the side of the other wolf, cut up that side, and repeated multiple times before dashing behind them, wooting like a fraternity boy.

Wincing, Kōga turned around, on guard and knowing full well the damage he had accumulated since his transformation. He had hoped his increased size and speed would have turned things to his advantage, but all it did was provoke his opponent, who STILL wouldn't shut up, to actually deal damage to him… and he was doing a fan-friggen-tastic job doing so while still avoiding any and all attacks in the process. On the plus side, most of the damage they had received was pretty negligible. Because of the thick fur they had in their transformed state, the deepest cuts they had were only somewhat concerning at best. Not only that, but their transformed state had a minor healing factor that was perfect for wounds like these. It was one of the main reasons why the Inuzuka were among Konoha's elite clans. The only concerning things were the fact that they had been slashed an incredibly large amount of times… and the fact that somehow, the childish man had given them both 'pedicures' at some point and cut the edges off of their claws. There was also the worry of running out of chakra before he could catch the bastard, but he still had some tricks up his sleeve.

If he had actually spent time to think, Kōga would have noted that odds were likely that Ghost could have easily killed him and Shinkumaru 1000 times over by now instead of wasting time dealing almost minor damage, or the fact that his swords had managed to cut through his fur and skin so easily when most weapons would get caught at some point… but, well… thinking about anything other than taking his opponent down was beyond the man's mental capability at the moment.

"Hey Kōga! I've been meaning to ask you something!" Ghost shouted again in an innocent tone as he danced around in chibi form. "Where do your clothes go when you transform like that? Are you really naked or something… because I've done that before, and to be honest, I thought it sucked! Screw feeling the air around your waist! I'm a wind elemental, for crying out loud, and I thought it was creepy and I kept on getting dirt in weird places! I had that one rash for over two weeks after that one time!"

"It's time to show you why disrespecting me is a mistake…" The wolf growled as his claws began to glow. Jumping high into the air, the man took hold of everyone's attention as he flipped rapidly, causing them to ignore Shinkumaru running to the side. "Hijutsu: Banteki Yakushin!" (Hidden Art: Savage Onslaught!) He roared as multiple massive blades of chakra shot out toward Ghost in clusters of 5, covering a wide area as they barreled down at the man.

"About freaking time you did something new…" The defender smirked as he returned to his normal cocky self and readied his blades, causing them to glow in the process. "… well…, new for you, not new for me." In a blur that most of the shinobi there couldn't follow, Ghost slashed at the air in front of him in a way that distorted everyone's sight of his arms. What could be determined, however, was that each slash of the man's blade produced a similar shockwave to one of Kōga's… and there were enough in number to equal the opposing force. Within moments, the two opposing attacks collided hard, producing a bang and a flash each time one wave hit another.

"Whoa…" Chōji gaped. "I've never seen Ghost-sensei do that before, and he's moving his arms so quickly…"

Ino squinted her eyes. "It looked like he was charging his chakra to his swords before he began to slash with them." She turned to Asuma. "Now that I think about it, it reminds me a lot of your chakra blades, Sensei. Can you do that jutsu, too?"

Asuma laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Now that I think about it, I really should learn how to do something like that. I mean, it's not like I don't have the prerequisites down by now… and I do need to know a few more mid to long range techniques…"

Shikamaru sighed as he and his teammates deadpanned at the smoker. "Sensei… sometimes I wonder if you are as lazy as I am when it comes to training…"

"What a youthful display of technique!" Lee shouted in amazement as the attacks continued to collide. "Tenten! Does Ghost-sensei's jutsu not remind you of Zangetsu?"

The girl sheepishly laughed. "Um, well Lee, the thing is, the technique's not supposed to be that hard to do in general. Zangetsu just makes it easier to load and release large amounts of chakra at once, but Sensei can naturally do it… and much faster than my seals can keep up with, too. I heard that nearly all the warriors in the Land of Iron know this technique as well. They're called samurai, if I remember correctly." She paused as if she wanted to say something more, but thought better and continued to watch the man's arms fly faster than she could believe. ' _Still… why can't I make heads or tails out of Sensei's swords? From what I can tell, it's almost as if they are literally a part of him…'_

"Damn…" Kiba gulped as he saw Kōga in action. As much as he hated the guy, he had to admit that he was one of the best in his clan at their techniques. It was one of the reasons why he was strongly supported in his family, despite his obnoxious personality. Another reason was because his partner, Shinkumaru, had such large chakra reserves by himself that they could pull off techniques that were otherwise dangerous to both ninja and hound. Wolf Pack, for example, was completely banned to clan members who did not have the required minimum chakra level. This included the partner hound as well. Failure to follow this rule resulted in, given that both performers actually survived misusing the technique, a minimum of 3 month separation from their partners in the isolation pens, with no visitors and bare creature comforts.

Shino frowned as he shifted his glasses. While he was interested in the future potential of his teammate, he could not help but somehow express his dissatisfaction with his clan member's behavior. He had heard occasionally of the man from Kiba, and after filtering out most of the excess vocabulary the boy had added, Shino had determined that the man was exactly what his friend had described. Extremely egotistical and selfish… the man had shown little hesitation in attacking a fellow Leaf comrade with extreme measures after being only slightly agitated. Had it not been Ghost-sensei, Shino assumed that Kōga's opponent would be either dead or the fight would have regressed into a death match.

The Aburame smirked as he figured out what was happening. Regardless who 'won' this 'spar' in the end, with so many people watching, Kōga would be the one who would lose… and knowing his incredibly odd teacher… Shino could only assume that he was aiming to win in every way possible.

As the last of the shockwaves collided, Kōga finally landed on the ground, panting a small amount, and growled at Ghost. "Not bad, weakling. I didn't expect you to counter all of those attacks…"

Ghost shrugged. "Eh… to be honest… I was expecting more from you, considering how much you were spinning…"

The large wolf smirked, giving him a somewhat sinister look. "I could… I just didn't need that many…"

It was then that Shinkumaru's massive form appeared from behind Ghost and pounced on top of him, growling viciously and shocking almost everyone watching.

"Sensei!" Many of his students yelled in surprise.

"He got overconfident…" Kurenai muttered. "He should have known that attack was a distraction.

"Hah!" Kōga snorted as he walked confidently over to the pinned down man, who was seemingly lying unconscious underneath his partner's paw. "One good hit and you're already unconscious? Pathetic! How on earth Hana decided to go out with a weakling like you is beyond me!" He smirked and turned to where the teen was glaring at him from the sidelines. "How do you feel about this situation now, Hana? Do you see how weak he is? What do you think of me now?"

"She probably feels the same way I do…" A voice sighed from right behind Kōga's head, causing the massive wolf to freeze. "… Fucking sick and tired of your constant boasting and inability to back it up when the time counts. Actually, I'm fairly certain that can be said about pretty much all the women you've been with, too."

Standing on the wolf's shoulders hand while holding a blade to the base of its skull, Ghost casually scratched his ass with his other hand, not at all caring about everyone watching him. Glancing down, Kōga spied the knocked out Ghost explode in a cloud of smoke, revealing a log. "You know, I really could do this whole 'you attack and I shut you down thing' all day… but I really do have better things to do with my time, so if I let you go, will you please do something worthwhile?"

Hinata sighed. "I should have seen that coming… Sensei does love using the body flicker and replacement techniques, after all… and it's not like he couldn't tell he was being surrounded, since his Seventh Sense is better than Naruto-kun's…"

Sai blinked and turned to Hinata. "You seem to know more about Ōgakari-sensei's habits and techniques than most of our teammates, Hyūga-san." He stated with the transparent smile of his.

Hinata smiled nervously in turn. "I don't really know that much more about him. Hana-sensei, Anko-sensei and Naruto-kun all know a lot more than I do… it's just that he sparred with me a lot during the month before the Chūnin Exam finals, so I know some of his fighting habits better than others. I'm sorry if I let you down, Sai-kun…"

Sai nodded. "It is fine, Hyūga-san. I was just curious. I have heard that Ōgakari-sensei is a master of wind style ninjutsu, but other than his sword techniques, I haven't seen anything of the like yet. It is somewhat disappointing…"

Hinata sighed. "Yes, he is rather secretive when it comes to his personal techniques. He prefers to use his skills to catch his opponents off guard rather than use them up front to save on chakra. Despite how they act, for the most part the Ōgakari's fighting styles are surprisingly minimalist. What I do know is that Naruto-kun claims that almost none of his wind style techniques can compare to Sensei's unless he puts incredibly large amounts of chakra into them…"

"Almost?" Sai asked curiously.

Hinata smiled. "Everyone has their own secret techniques, Sai-kun…"

Hinata, and everyone else, were distracted at that point when they all felt Kōga's chakra pulse. There, they saw Ghost once again staring down the pair of massive beasts a good distance away from him.

"You…" The larger wolf growled lethally at the seemingly careless man standing in front of him. "I will enjoy killing you…"

"I'm waiting, pork chop." The blind man smirked, nudging his sword in the universal manner for 'bring it, bitch'.

As if on that signal, the two wolves charged at the man and spun, but unlike before, they bounced so rapidly side-to-side that they were nearly invisible, despite their size. This was a technique that could not simply be dodged by normal means. "Kyō Gatsūga! (Great Fang over Fang!)" Kōga roared as the pair zigzagged towards the man.

"Oh ho… now we're talking…" Ghost grinned as he followed the rapid speeds of the two monsters. "If I wasn't so determined to make you look like the numb nut you are, I might have stayed at this level of restraint…" The faint sound of cracking glass could be heard if a person paid attention. "Oh, well. Sucks to be you."

 _'Ghost… don't overdo it, you idiot…'_ Scab thought to himself as he spied the signs of his brother loosening up his restraints even more. ' _40% is too much… the only reason why you went that far during the invasion was because you wasted a lot of your stamina signaling everyone…'_

As the two blurs covered the area that their target was standing… Ghost disappeared and all hell broke loose. The two beasts continued their attack pattern, sure that they would hit their foe if they didn't stop… but in the process, they couldn't see the third small black and white blur moving even faster than they were alongside them, dealing countless cuts to both as they crossed paths.

After what looked like hundreds of intersections between the three forces, the two wolves had finally realized that something was wrong and skidded to a halt next to each other, where they saw that they were both cut up far more than they had been before… and that Ghost was in midair between them with an arm pointed at either one's rib cage, his palms now empty save for a large distortion of air floating right in front of each palm.

"Fūton: Myaku Oshi…" (Wind Style: Pressure Pulse…) Ghost whispered as a massive blast of highly pressurized air from both hands launched each of the wolves away from him at almost comical speeds.

"Whoa…" Tenten gaped, voicing out what pretty much everyone else was thinking. They had hoping to see something flashy to happen, but for someone to actually top that insane speed before unleashing two seal-less mid-high level ninjutsu was a bit beyond what they were expecting…

"Fast…" Gaped one of the many Hyūga who had come to watch the match. "I didn't even see him gather the chakra into his hands or make seals… he is certainly a jutsu master of the highest caliber..."

"We are going to have a talk after this." Waltz muttered to Hana and Anko without turning his gaze from Ghost. "… I am curious as to what you said to Ghost when I wasn't home last night… he normally doesn't go overboard on opponents of this level…"

"Oi… I know that Kōga deserves to get the daylights beaten out of every orifice in his body, but there will be problems if he's killed or crippled." Tsume frowned as she glanced at where one of the wolves landed. "He's pretty popular among some of the advisors of my clan, and he is one of the only ones that can perform some of our more extreme secret techniques…"

"Don't worry." Shadow sighed, actually letting go of her childish personality for once. "Ghost is out to humiliate Kōga, not end him… hopefully. He'll do everything he can to draw this out and make Kōga think he actually has a chance at winning, luring him to use more of his larger attacks, only to beat him at his own game. All the damage he's done so far is either negligible or easy to work around for someone of Kōga's body type and fighting style."

"Oi, nut licker. Get up. I can tell you're awake." Ghost ordered as he walked back to a normal sized Inuzuka, who was heavily bruised on one side and sporting shallow to medium cuts all over his body. "Don't tell me this is all you got. I'm almost beginning to break a sweat…" The immortal taunted, causing the man to growl angrily and attempt to get up.

"You… coward…" He spat out, some blood dribbling on his lip as he managed to get back on his feet. "You… you…"

"Yes, me, me… your range of vocabulary never ceases to astound everyone within hearing distance…" Ghost sighed. "Look, do you have anything that actually might hit me? Like some kind of super-secret technique that you've hidden from everyone that one hit kills everything in sight and is dripping with awesome, 'cause at the moment, I feel like I've been fighting a child having a temper tantrum. Geez, it's no wonder Hana constantly shot you down. You're pathetic…" He shrugged, sighed, and turned around, seemingly completely ignoring the blank look that Kōga had on his face. "Oh well. I'm not interested in you anymore. It's obvious at this point that I'm the winner. Later."

Few people actually saw the small but evil smirk on Ghost's face as he walked away… but those who knew it was there knew it was spurred on by the fact that the immortal was about to do what he set out to do and put Kōga in his place as his downed opponent's chakra rose once again.

"I thought I told you to stop already." The blind man sighed. "You haven't done anything that could have given you a chance to win. Just go away and leave us alone."

"You think that this is over?" Kōga whispered menacingly. "That you beat me soundly into the ground? That I never had a chance to beat you in the first place?" He began to laugh with an insane tone.

"Pretty much. I think I've been doing a spiffy job of it too." Ghost replied sarcastically, swinging his arm in a 'job well done' fashion.

"I want to lead our clan to greatness. The Hyūga and Uchiha… all useless weaklings that couldn't understand the unyielding power of our clan. I've constantly challenged their clan members to fights and won… but despite that, I've always been turned down when I proposed to be leader. But that was okay… I could wait. I could train and become so strong that they would have no choice but to make me leader of the clan." The violent man laughed as he started to make some seals that several people recognized.

"Mmm?" Shadow raised an eyebrow. "I didn't know Inuzuka had summons…"

"That's… not possible…" Tsume gasped with her eyes wide. "The summons for our clan disappeared a month before I was instated as the new head 13 years ago…" She paused as she remembered something else. "… After we turned down Kōga for the first time… right after he was promoted to chūnin… don't tell me he…"

"Crypt…" Waltz said in a commanding tone, not taking his eyes off of the fight.

"Summoning!" Kōga roared as he slapped the ground hard…

"We're having Chinese tonight!" Crypt giggled as he slammed his foot on the ground, activating the boundary seal he had made around the entire battlefield when Waltz pummeled him 15 minutes earlier.

Just as the red ring appeared, multiple massive clouds of smoke erupted in the field, blowing away to show over a dozen immense wolf summons of various breeds and colors, all at least three times the size of Kōga's transformed form, all glaring at Ghost, who merely stood in place and smirked.

" **What can we do for you, Kōga-sama?"** Asked the largest of the summons to the man who was sitting on its head.

"This man is a threat to our clan!" Kōga roared. "He has placed my mate under a genjutsu and is turning my clan and village against me! As alpha of the Inuzuka clan, I cannot let this happen anymore!"

"You retarded traitor!" Tsume roared. "There's a _reason_ why only the elected alpha of the clan is allowed to sign the wolf summon contract! The wolf tribe are too in-tune with their animal instincts and let them control their judgment, causing them to lose control of themselves! You were taught this, yet you still stole the scroll?!"

" **Who is this pack member? Why does she speak as if you are not the alpha?"** Asked another summon curiously.

"Ignore the whore! She is lying! I am the alpha of the Inuzuka clan! Why else would I have been allowed to sign the contract? Now kill our enemy and restore order our clan!" Kōga roared, pointing at Ghost.

"Wow… this is an interesting turn of events…" Shadow chuckled as she ate some popcorn that she conjured from her shadows when no one was looking. "The writing is rushed as hell, but I'm putting 100 ryō on this fight ending epically…"

"Sister… even Crypt isn't dumb enough to take that bet…" Scabbard sighed, noting the widening grin on the blind man's face and the slight increase in his Presence. The feeling could be compared to a runner getting into the starting position…

Hana clenched her fists tightly. "That bastard… thinks I'm his… mate?"

The triplets were acting and growling in a way that people could only assume matched their human partner's reactions.

Anko backed away nervously. "Oh... shit… Hana's pissed…"

Waltz groaned and rubbed his temples. "Leave it to Ghost to cause someone he's angry at to snap completely and cause a potential massive clan uprising… you'd think we'd see this coming by now…"

Kōga smirked insanely. "What do you have to say for yourself now coward? Will you continue to do nothing but run away from me?" His smile faltered, however, as he got laughter in response.

"Hah! I knew you were stupid, but seriously? You actually did this in front of witnesses? Wow! Just wow!" The wind user laughed, not at all afraid of his current situation before calming down. "Oi summon dogs! This guy is a liar who's trying to steal my girlfriend, who happens to be the daughter of the real alpha of the Inuzuka clan. I don't mind kicking your asses, but proper manners dictate I should try to convince you that he's been tricking you for god knows how long since it's the right thing to do. You wouldn't by chance believe us, would you?"

" **Stupid human! You truly think you can stand up to all of us? Enough with your lies! We will end you, for the honor of our pack mates!"** The leader growled angrily, giving his answer as all the summons made the first gestures to pounce on the single man… who had begun to make some seals… and had put a dangerously sinister grin on his face…

"Ghost/Sensei/Ōgakari-sama!" The vast majority of the crowd roared in fear and concern in response to what was happening.

"I think I've played the role of the cunning trickster long enough… time to do some damage…" The air grew still and cold in a single moment, which triggered the wolves to start their attack and leap into the sky at their prey…

 _'The order of seals is different…'_ The Ōgakari clan mused as they followed everything that was happening with curiosity instead of fear. ' _That's not War Scars… what technique did he make this time?'_

As all the summons reached the apex of their leaps, Ghost slapped his hands together and pulsed his chakra and presence to massive levels.

"…Futon: Tajū Daifūryūdan…" (Wind Style: Multi Great Wind Dragon Bullet) He whispered… and the sky unleashed its fury upon the wolves with gusto.

All the Hyūga there would say that at that moment, all the air in the area froze before pulsing, as if it was matching itself to the heartbeat of the wind element master. The next moment, the suddenly immensely chakra laced air molded itself immediately into multiple massive dragons that were all at the very least the same size as the wolves they were attacking. They appeared underneath each of the summons, before launching themselves at said beasts with inhuman power. The gale force winds generated caused everyone to brace themselves as they attempted to look up and watch the wind techniques absolutely maul the helpless wolf summons, who could do nothing to prevent their current situation. Unlike a normal dragon bullet variant technique, these dragons seemed more complete, with wings, claws and overall were just more vicious looking, despite the fact that they were made of nothing but air.

Just when everyone thought that the unfortunate beasts' beating could not possibly get any more painful to watch, the dragons clustered their prey together in the air before rising above them, spinning together into an even BIGGER wind dragon, which at this point could even put Manda's size to question. It roared so loud that a good half of the village could hear it if they hadn't seen it already, then arced toward and barreled down on the summons from above, crashing them into the ground impossibly hard and causing a massive tornado that was only held back by Crypt's barrier seal. Even then, it did nothing to shield everyone from the huge gusts of wind the twister was making nor the dust said wind kicked up.

"What… the hell was THAT!" Ino yelled in disbelief at what she had just seen as the funnel and the roaring it made finally began to die down, thanking Chōji from shielding her from most of the dust with his body.

"Something beyond troublesome…" Shikamaru coughed as he stood back up again before looking at himself in frustration. "Great. Now mom's gonna kill me for getting my vest all dirty."

"I knew he was skilled in wind style techniques… but this is… just unreal…" Kurenai mused to herself, finally getting over her initial shock.

"We are so going to get shit for this later…" Shadow moaned. "Ghost, you idiot… there is a thing known as too much epic, you know…"

"That… was… AWESOME!" Konohamaru yelled at the top of his lungs as he got out from behind the stone wall that his grandfather had made for him and his friends moments before. "Did you see how he made the dragons come out of nowhere? I've see grandpa make dragons from dirt and fire, too, but they're nowhere near as big as THOSE! Do you think he can teach me how to do that?"

 _'I pissed that off I pissed that off I pissed that off I pissed that off I pissed that off…'_ Tsume chanted in fear in her head as she realized what Ghost had just done.

"Hey… dad?" Asuma asked with a nervous chuckle. "Did you know you could do that with a dragon bullet technique? Actually… isn't the wind dragon bullet technique one of the most heavily guarded moves in Suna? It's supposed to be the least known of the set because there are so few wind affinity shinobi in the world."

Sarutobi coughed. "Yes, well, for your first question, it was theoretically possible, but no one who wanted to try it ever seemed to have the chakra… or the lack of self-preservation… to attempt to do so. And as for your second… well, Ōgakari-san didn't learn it so much as he recreated it…"

Asuma paled. "W… what?"

The retired Kage sighed. "Kakashi is able to perform the water variant, and I am able to perform the earth and fire variants. It didn't take much for him to ask us how for the seals and how we mold our chakra. All he really needed to do then was change some of the differing seal sections and apply what he knows about wind style techniques, and we have ourselves another of the element dragon bullet techniques in the village. I'm surprised I didn't think of it myself, actually… though I doubt anyone other than one with a jinchūriki's chakra reserves could pull off the version that Ghost just did."

Kiba blinked curiously. "Jinchūriki? The hell is that? It sounds like some kind of lame afternoon special at a bar…"

"And you would know what one of those sounds like how?" Tsume asked curiously, causing the boy to sweat profusely.

Shadow yawned. "In a nutshell, a jinchūriki is what you guys call people like me who have demons or whatever sealed inside of them… but most of the time, it's used to refer to people with tailed beasts sealed in them."

The jōnin tried not to hide their nervousness as they looked at Shadow while their students looked at the woman curiously… or at least tried to fake it.

"Tailed beasts?" Chōji asked nervously. "You mean like the Kyūbi? Is it sealed in someone now? Why did you say beasts… are there more of them?"

The woman yawned again, clearly not giving the impression that she knew anything too undercover. "Who knows? I bet it would be a massive village secret if it was the case, though… but if it were, then I wouldn't worry about it much. The only person that could have sealed it away would have been the Fourth, and from what I've heard, the guy was pretty damn good at seals." She shrugged. "But then again, he could have just killed the thing like everyone said."

She ate some more popcorn. "And yeah, beasts as in plural, Chōji. 9 of them in total, each having a different number of tails, with the Kyūbi being the strongest. All the major hidden villages other than Konoha to my knowledge have a jinchūriki or two. Some are treated well, but for the most part, the poor schmuks are treated like crap their entire lives by idiots who can't tell the difference between a scroll and the kunai sealed in it. I've heard of a few cases where the vessels go insane not because of the monsters in them but because the people around them are just complete assholes to them for so long. Nothing like treating a person like a monster for their entire lives to get them to go completely nuts and start killing everyone... but for some strange reason, people keep on forgetting that stuff like that can happen… I remember this one time… whew…"

"I can see them!" Sakura shouted, both in an attempt to change the topic of conversation and also simply to let everyone know that the dust was finally settling.

The entire field had been hit by a tornado that slammed into it at insane speeds, so it was little wonder that there was a massive crater underneath the dust that was clearing up. The ground was torn and plowed heavily, and almost none of the grass or rocks that were originally in the battlegrounds were where they were before the attack. At the bottom of the shallow crater, all of the dozen plus summons were piled in a broken heap, either unconscious or too wounded to move. Sitting on top of all of them in the lotus position was Ghost, who looked as fresh as when the battle started.

" **We… will not… forget this… human…"** The largest of the summons hissed in pain. **"We will… return… to avenge… the pack…"** The entire pile exploded in a cloud of smoke, signaling that all the wolves returned to their realm to everyone else… only to almost everyone's surprise, when the smoke blew away, revealing that nothing had changed. **"Wh-what mockery is this?"** The leader growled in shock.

"Oh, no. You're not going anywhere until we get this whole cluster fuck sorted out." Ghost frowned. "Until you understand what is going on, I'm keeping you and your butt sniffing buddies right here… heheh… actually I think I'll just refer to you guys as butt buddies from now on. Get it? 'Cause when I took out 'sniffing', you get 'butt buddies'…"

"I believe that this is the part where we go to make sure things don't get worse than they already are…" Waltz sighed as Crypt unsealed the area. "Tsume, I believe your presence would be required for this bit."

"R-right…" The woman said nervously, still in temporary shock from the massive attack. "How… is he doing that, though?"

Shadow yawned as she started to walk towards the pile of animals… and Ghost. "Eh… let's just say that bro knows his way around time-space techniques better than most people…"

Tsume nearly fell flat on her face. "T-time-space?" She hissed and stammered at the same time, and for good reason. Anyone who was even barely proficient in the art was automatically deemed a major threat on the battlefield. There really was little need to elaborate why the Second and Fourth Hokage managed to get their positions after you explained that they used techniques of that nature.

"Yeah… he prefers not to use them much, though." Scabbard nodded as he helped the woman back onto her feet. "These days, he mostly just uses it to keep himself in check… or he's supposed to, at least. Also, he's not that proficient at interacting with time-spaces other than ones that have to do with his body, but stopping a teleporting technique when he's in direct contact with someone is well within his range…"

"I heard that, Scab!" Ghost roared. "Stop insulting me and come over here so you can meet the butt buddies!"

" **Allies or enemies… once we recover… we will kill you… painfully…"** Growled one of the summons with deep loathing.

Scab was about to respond when Crypt dashed past them with something big and sharp on his face. "I'm gonna pet the puppies with my new moustache!"

Waltz took after him in a heartbeat. "Crypt! How many times do we have to tell you? That is not a moustache! That is a Bat'leth! You do not pet things with a Bat'leth!"

"You're just jealous that my moustache is cooler than yours!" Crypt roared, not slowing down at all.

Tsume was snapped out of her shock (of multiple kinds) by Hana grabbing her shoulder. "Come on, mom. The faster we get this over with, the faster we can get things back home moving smoothly again…"

"We shall come with you…" Spoke Sarutobi along with several members of the various other clans that watched the fight. "If we support you, it will make the conversation between our sides much more manageable…"

Tsume's demeanor relaxed slightly. "Hah… man… this is going to be one hell of a story to tell everyone back home… thanks, Hokage-sama… thank you everyone…"

"Tsume! What the hell is taking you! Is your mascara running or something? Hurry up, my ass is falling asleep! Also, I think these summons of yours have summon sized fleas! Hungry summon sized fleas! The kind that bite! Oh crap, they see me!" Ghost yelled as he jumped up and took out a stick from his coat and started to swing it at whatever it was he was fighting off. "Back! Back, I say! I am of the higher order! You will obey my command and my HOLY FUCK THEY'RE EATING THE STICK!"

o. o. o.

Takigakure:

Fū groaned as she rested by the river that ran through the caves that her village was hidden in. It had been over a month since she'd gotten back from Konoha, and the idiots in her village council were STILL arguing about if she should be the envoy to Konoha or not. She could already tell what their pro's and con's were without even being there, since her village's leaders were unnaturally predictable.

On the plus side, if they actually did send her every few months not only would they get rid of the 'necessary monster' for a while, but they would also fall into Konoha's good graces, since the Third Hokage's letter had pretty much said, in shinobi fashion, that they would route more missions to the minor village if they did so, which appealed to the more financially attentive men and women there. There was also the possibility of getting Fū to steal village secrets and all those small underlying tasks that all shinobi thought of. Hah, like she would actually do that to the village that felt more like home than her current home does… still, she could always talk about that to her buddies in Konoha and come up with some believable fake documents. Hell, now that she thought about it, that would probably motivate the council to keep her in Konoha more, so long as she wasn't caught…

However, on the minus side, the annoying hate that everyone had for her existed, too. Many of the councilors didn't believe that she would do an adequate job in the first place, ruining their somewhat better than neutral relationship with Konoha in the first place… which she would admit was understandable, with her short temper and sarcastic personality. Some of the somewhat smarter ones also were against the idea since Fū was, for better or for worse, one of the secret weapons of the village, and risking losing her to another village, let alone Konoha, was not worth risking her for a few extra dozen missions… like they gave a damn about her when she was captured in the first place, lazy bastards.

Fū sighed again and laid down on the grass. "Ugh. I wish they would make up their freaking minds already…"

The girl couldn't help but think about her past and how much she wanted to get out of the village. She was disappointed that even two years from now, her standing in her home had only gone up from 'monster' to 'that girl with the monster in her'. She had figured out even before she died that it was that change in 'social standing' and the fact that her village was a minor one that enabled her to actually achieve the rank of jōnin, despite all the clear hate that everyone had for her.

"… The council wishes to see you." Stated a Taki shinobi that had materialized several feet behind her. "I would suggest not making them wait." He grunted before disappearing again.

"Aw, the magical shinobi of convenience disappeared before I could say thank you…" The jinchūriki of the Nanabi pouted as she picked herself up and hoisted her massive scroll on her back. "Well, let's get this over with…" She sighed as she traveled at a leisurely pace to where her town's leaders were waiting. She would have gone faster, but she knew regardless of when she got there, they would bitch to her about her being late.

Several minutes later, she arrived at the building and entered the council chambers to see almost everyone in the room looking at her with faces that made it look like they had just swallowed something sour. ' _More irritable disposition? Tenser than normal atmosphere? All right! They're letting me go!'_ Fū concluded in her mind after within three seconds of opening the door.

"Shinobi, do you know why we have summoned you?" One of the more uptight members asked in a condescending tone.

Fū shrugged. "Does it have something to do with the fact that you guys haven't been giving me any missions lately? Normally, I'd get a suicide mission from one of you by now…"

"We would prefer it if you would keep your excess thoughts to yourself, Fū…" Grunted one of the more slightly lenient members… and by slightly, she meant he was more willing to give her the benefit of the doubt once a week and wasn't stuck up enough to not use her name. "However, you are correct in your guess…"

 _'Right… guess…'_ The teen muttered sarcastically in her head.

"Because of recent events relating to Konoha's invasion and your… reputable involvement in its defense, the Third Hokage has requested for you to act as an emissary to improve relations between our villages…" Continued one of the other elders.

"We have… after a very lengthy discussion… decided to agree to these conditions and give you the position as our emissary to Konoha." Concluded a woman who was neutral to Fū. "By doing so, we hope go gain access to missions in several countries that were before monopolized by Konoha…"

 _'Don't oversell it, lady. All the minor villages have some countries that give them all their missions. Anyone who has a decent head on their shoulders knows that.'_ Fū lectured in a frustrated tone in her head, trying her hardest not to say what she was thinking for fear of losing the job.

"Your job is to ensure the populace of Konoha, both shinobi and civilian, that we are their ally. Also, you are our negotiator for future transactions between our villages." The eldest of the council stated. He was one of the few that Fū could never get a decent reading on. "Because of this, for the first year of this mission, you will be accompanied by two other shinobi, who will train and aid you in the necessary politics and negotiation tactics needed for these events…"

 _'I knew it. It really was too good to be true… I have fucking babysitters!'_ Fū groaned. ' _Oh well. At least I'm getting out of Taki for a good while…'_

"While you are in Konoha, we expect you to not embarrass our village." The old man continued. "However, unofficially you are to also scout out the village and obtain any and all information that we may find useful." There was a tense silence in the room. "For Konoha to have found information on Kakuzu that we were not in possession of yet is most unsettling. We must make sure that they do not have anything else on him or any more information on our secret Earth Grudge Fear Technique, which he stole from us almost 60 years ago. Should they have such information, you are to destroy any and all evidence that we do not have on the spot and bring what we do not have back to us."

Fū swallowed heavily. Though little about this elder was known, it was speculated that he was the child of one of the elders who Kakuzu killed back in the day… and that he was there when the traitor killed his father. Rumor had it that the man had, as a child, seen his father's heart ripped out of his chest, but no one really knew if it was true or not. What they did know was that any time Kakuzu was brought up, the man always made it his priority to find his whereabouts or destroy the traitor… by any means necessary.

That being said, there was no way in hell that Fū was going to let them know about all the information she had gotten about Akatsuki. Smaller shinobi villages were known to be a bit less… restrained when it came to interrogating prisoners compared to most of the main shinobi villages. That didn't mean they were better… it just meant there was less of a chance the prisoner would actually live through the process of interrogation. She enjoyed seeing the light of day, thank you very much. "Yes, elder." Fū bowed so she could recollect her demeanor without her face being seen. "I will make that among my priorities while in the village. Is there anything else that you wish to tell me before I leave to prepare for my mission?"

"Only that you should remember who, and more importantly, what, you are." Stated a rather condescending elder. "You are a shinobi, a tool of Takigakure, and you will always remain one. Be sure to keep that in mind while you are on the mission… for it will lead to rather unfortunate consequences should you forget."

Fū's eyes deadened. "I'll make sure to make a note of it somewhere, elder. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to pack my things…" _'Not like I haven't been halfway packed for I don't know… a month already.'_ She mentally jabbed as she turned around and walked out the room.

As the doors closed behind her, the room remained silent as the councilors looked at each other. "I still think that this is a bad idea. Even if she didn't have the Nanabi in her, Fū is too impulsive for this sort of mission… and as much as I hate to say it, she is also one of our better combat shinobi…"

"I am more concerned with the possibility of Konoha finding out about Fū being a jinchūriki and holding her prisoner…" Grumbled another. "It is because we are the only minor village with a jinchūriki that we have managed to maintain our status as one of the stronger shinobi villages outside of the 5 great nations. Kusa has their poisons, which are technically available to all of their shinobi, and Ame is particularly ruthless and often takes the jobs that no one else takes…"

While what most of what that elder said was true, Kusa in particular was extremely famous for their poisons. So much so that there was a popular saying when dealing with their shinobi: If you're pricked by Grass… say goodbye to your ass. In fact, they have a strong trade agreement with Suna due to their puppeteers using their ingredients and recipes so frequently. Not only that, but because having a trade route through Iwa or Ame territory was simply stupid, Konoha managed to get a piece of the action too by providing a safe route through the Land of Fire, which strengthened the bonds between the three nations even more.

"Do not forget who gave us the Nanabi in the first place…" Countered one of the elder women in the room. "Konoha has always valued its peaceful ways, despite their strong foundation. They would not risk war unless they were risking something they were unwilling to lose or they were on the receiving end of an attack. Fū has already proven to several members of their ranks that she is worthy of some of their trust, which is much more than can be said about some of the other members of our fold. I am not concerned about this situation."

"Regardless, we will have to tread carefully while around Konoha for the time being." Grunted another. "The events at the Chūnin Exams has only strengthened their claim as the strongest shinobi village. Doing anything to earn their ire would be the death of us…"

o. o. o.

Back at the scene of the massacre, aka Training grounds 82:

" **We… see…"** Huffed out one of the summons as it processed the stories of everyone in front of him, mostly taking in what the Third Hokage said the most since other than the Inuzuka, the old man was the only member of Konoha that the wolf summons were familiar with. **"It is… unforgiveable what our pack mate… has done… and what we have done… in his name. We will inform… the rest of our kind… of what has happened… and hope that our actions can be atoned."** The beast coughed up some blood. **"The traitor's name… shall be taken off our summon scroll. Should it not be found within a month… we shall send a runner to bring it to its rightful owner… Thank you, Tsume-sama, for allowing us to have a second chance…"** The next moment, the pile of wolves disappeared into a cloud of smoke… leaving only Ghost, who was covered in large bug bites, lying on the ground unconscious and foaming at the mouth.

Tsume deadpanned. "After all that… he was taken down by a bunch of fleas from my clan's summons… I really don't know what to say at this point…"

Anko smirked as she walked over to the unconscious man. "Don't bother trying. It hurts too much and you won't get anywhere."

"Well, then…" Sarutobi sighed. "Now that this commotion is done with, I have to get young Konohamaru home… or else my daughter will be rather crass with me…" He paused and looked around. "Where are the remaining Ōgakari members?"

"I think this answers our question." Hana sighed as she pointed to a sign that had several different messages on it.

_Went back home to de-fuse another massive weapon from Crypt's face. Waltz._

_Left to get more snacks. Shadow._

_Several projects need to be completed by the end of the day. Scabbard._

_My moustache itches. Cornel Saint Aerosol Pants the Flamboyant._

_Squeak chirp squeak squeak. Zuzushi._ (Everyone read this part several times to make sure their eyes weren't playing tricks on them.)

Tsume didn't react as she read the messages before putting her head in her hands. "Screw work. I'm going straight to the bar after this cluster fuck."

"Well then… don't let me hold you back… I'll explain everything to the ANBU that Tsunade will send here." Sarutobi chuckled nervously as he jumped to his grandson on the outskirts of the crater, grabbed him, and then jumped away. Members of the other clans quickly followed suit as they knew better than to tempt fate and be on the wrong side of Tsume's very short temper.

The eldest woman there sighed as she saw the students and the teachers arguing about something on the outskirts of the crater before spying her daughter beginning to heal the nasty bites Ghost had on his body. "Honestly… and I thought I had interesting taste in mates…" She mumbled to herself, once again marveling at the damage the man had done with a single technique before pausing and frowning. "Speaking of dysfunctional mates… where's Kōga and Shinkumaru?"

No sooner had the woman asked that then she heard a deep growling coming from her side. Automatically going on guard, Tsume turned to see the severely beaten and battered Kōga and Shinkumaru barely standing up and glaring at the group. "You… you… think you… beat me?" Kōga hissed as he spat out blood.

"Just give up already." Anko snorted. "You got the shit beaten out of you so badly you can't even stand."

"Shut your mouth, Snake Whore! I will not be spoken down to by weak traitors like yourself!" The deranged man yelled hysterically as he reached into his pouch and began to laugh. "You… you all truly think that the summons… were my only trump card?" He took out a handful of red pills with yellow swirls on them and handed some to his partner.

Tsume paled. "No… those can't be… I thought we destroyed all of them…"

Hana didn't like the sound of that. "Mom? What are those pills? I've never seen them before…"

The alpha Inuzuka acted as if she didn't hear her daughter's question. "You IDIOT! You should know that you'll die if you take those pills! Even if you somehow survive, you'll go completely insane!"

"Those pills were part of a secret experiment between us, the Akimichi, and the Nara…" Kuromaru growled darkly. "It was supposed to be our last resort on the battlefield, similar to the Akimichi's three colored pills, but it would dampen our restraints on our instincts and release our inner feral strength. They worked… but…"

"Let me guess…" Anko grunted as they all felt the desperate man's chakra rise. "Unavoidable mental instability comes soon after taking the pills, resulting in the inability to tell apart friend from foe. Also, the strain put on the body almost ensures that they won't survive after consumption."

"If I cannot lead the Inuzuka to glory, then I will destroy the source of our weakness!" Kōga roared as he started making some seals.

Tsume's eyes widened more. "Those seals… STOP! THAT TECHNIQUE IS FORBIDDEN!"

"Saijutsu: Tsuki no Raikake… (Final Art: Caller of the Moon…)" Kōga growled as he and Shinkumaru exploded in a massive cloud of smoke… to be replaced by a two headed, werewolf shaped monster nearly the size of a boss summon.

"Whoa…" Anko gaped before calming down, red snakes wriggled out of her sleeves. "Okay… here's the plan. Hana hits high, Tsume hits low, and I hit everything else that isn't bleeding yet…"

"No… I got this." Hana grunted as she walked in front of her friend followed by the triplets. "You get Ghost and everyone out of here."

"Are you out of your mind?" Tsume roared. "There's no way you can stand up to that! He's using the absolute last resort technique of our clan! Something that is supposed to be only taught to the Alpha of the pack! I forbid you to…"

"Will you shut up already, mom?" Hana snapped angrily. "I'm sick and tired of being the cause of all the crap that's been trying to push Ghost, Anko and I apart! I'm tired of sitting back and letting the others solve problems that I was the source of! But right now, I am fucking pissed at this hormone driven idiot constantly trying to ruin my life! He tried to rape me, and after he left on that mission, I actually felt safe in my home for once!" Tsume's and Kuromaru's eyes widened in shock as the teen continued. "Right now, I'm in no mood to argue, so get the hell away from me so I can vent completely on this dead stray."

" **Hah!"** The warped form of Kōga laughed as he stepped forward. **"This will be entertaining! Yes, I will ensure that Hana does not become the mate of anyone else but me before I take out Tsume! Come, Hana! Show me why I chose you to begin with!"**

"Come on…" Anko said as she grabbed onto Tsume's shoulder while holding Ghost in the fireman's carry. "Trust me. She can take care of herself. The ass doesn't stand a chance… otherwise I would have stuck around and summoned some backup."

Tsume didn't say anything as she looked at both sides multiple times before relenting with a deep growl. "If she dies… I'm killing both of you…" Tsume stated in a dead tone to both Anko and Ghost, who they both guessed could still hear them. With that, they left without another word, heading for the remaining crowd members to make sure they didn't interrupt the fight.

"Come on… we're going to give these two bastards something long overdue…" Hana muttered to the triplets as she fed them all some of her own specially made soldier pills before making some seals in between all 3 of them.

" **Hoh? You really think that you can beat me by yourself?"** Kōga laughed. **"Come then! You couldn't beat me then, and you can't beat me now. As my mate, you will always be weaker than me!"**

"We'll see about that…" Hana grunted as she and the triplets peaked their chakra levels. "Hijutsu… (Hidden Art…)"

A cloud even bigger than the one Kōga made enveloped all 4 of them... To reveal a 4 headed wolf that WAS in fact the size of a boss summon, if not even bigger. Its fur for the most part was a distinct smoky grey, however it seemed to compliment the swirls and stripes of sharp yellow, gentle green, and dark red that ran down its spine. The 4 heads were in a distorted diamond pattern, with the two red heads with wild flowing fur to either side, the green head with smooth curling fur in between them and slightly lower than the other two, and the yellow one with sharp spiky fur distinctly higher up.

" **Yochi no Ryuken… (Hound of Earth…)"** Growled the green head as it glared at the momentarily surprised Kōga.

"You know… this might be weird time to say this, but I always did find it somewhat ironic and funny that Hana was almost always the sub during our kinky sex time…" Anko smirked seeing as Tsume was too shocked to say anything. Even after running as far as they could, they could clearly see the massive wolf's fur radiating with extreme heat or shooting off sparks of stray electricity.

Kiba had a similar look on his face. "… God damn it. As soon as she finds out that I saw this fight… I officially won't be able to win any argument against her ever again…"

"You won arguments against Hana?" Ino asked in a dazed tone, gazing upon Hana's new form with awe and disbelief like pretty much everyone else.

"… Shut up…"

" **Hahahaha!"** Kōga laughed at Hana's new form, looking down at her since even though she was clearly larger than he was, he was standing on two legs/paws and she was still on all fours. **"I knew there was a reason why I wanted to make you mine! It is too bad I will kill you here. You should have chosen the real alpha instead of that pathetic weakling!"** The massive beast swung his giant claws at Hana in a cross slash, aiming to take off two of the heads in a single blow…

That is what he was planning to do. However, Hana shot him down yet again as the lightning head and one of the fire heads switched positions on the main body and the attacking claws were caught in the teeth of the lightning head and the fire head, who didn't move a bit. **"If you can't even tell that Ghost is a true alpha… then you don't deserve to be called an Inuzuka."** Hana's voice stated in a dead tone as the wind head and the free fire head both opened their mouths and blasted their opponent point blank with a joint fire-wind ninjutsu that blinded everyone when set off. By the time anyone could see anything again, Kōga's massive smoking body was nearly into the next training field at the end of a large trough in the ground. **"What's wrong, Kōga? I thought you were going to prove yourself as an alpha to us…"** Hana taunted as the lighting and fire heads returned to their original positions.

" **Damn you… bitch…"** The werewolf beast hissed as he tried to pick himself up in pain… only to fall down again due to his arms failing. Swearing, the man finally noticed that one of his arms was burnt to a crisp at a certain part and he couldn't even feel anything in his other arm. Obviously, the heads did more than simply stop his attack when they'd bitten his arms. **"I'll kill you!"** He roared as he made a sloppier and more savage attempt at getting back up… only to get a massive fireball in each of his faces, causing him to fall back down.

" _I told you… you are pathetic…"_ Whispered a familiar cocky voice in the wind, loud enough to be able to be heard above the ringing and pain in Kōga's head. _"You have only wasted Hana's and my time with your childish games and desires. You are nothing but a weak runt that is better suited as a rabid jackals than a noble member of a pack of wolves… and you will now pay the price for bothering and trying to hurt those precious to us."_

" **You…"** The giant wolf roared as he brought himself up unusually quickly despite his injuries and turned his attention to where Tsume and the rest were watching… and saw Ghost folded over Anko's shoulders. **"This was all because of you…"** He stumbled forward, not falling over from the blast of wind that Hana hit him with. **"My honor…"** A fireball hit him in the chest. **"… My mate…"** A jolt of lightning halfway pierced his right shoulder. **"… My clan… I have lost everything because of you…"**

" _Hahahaha… this is why you are so easy…"_ The voice laughed with no hesitation. _"You are so deluded in your grand self-made image that you can't even control your impulses. You lost everything due to your stupidity, including your own life and your partner's, and there is nothing else to blame but yourself. Even if you were the strongest Inuzuka in history, no one who could possibly think for themselves would ever let you lead them. Did I tell you to use summons or take those pills? No. That was all you, you, you."_ There was a brief pause. _"… Disappear forever, disgrace of the Inuzuka clan… your name will neither be remembered… nor missed."_

Everyone watching nervously stepped back as they realized he was heading towards them with 4 bloodshot eyes. **"I have decided that I will kill you before I die…"** His body hunched over…

"RUN!" Tsume roared as she turned to run, soon followed by everyone else within hearing range.

" **I won't let you!"** Hana roared as the two fire heads shifted so that they were pointing backwards from her shoulders and the remaining two heads moved so that they were right next to each other. All their mouths opened wide…

" **Tsuki no Kiba… (Fang of the Moon…)"** The bipedal beast stated darkly as he shot forward, turning into a giant black spiraling torrent of slashing death that could kill just about anything that it would hit…

Just about…

" **Sekai no Kiba… (Fang of the World…)"** Hana's voice said without emotion as what could only be described as a massive flaming spear shot forward and slammed point to point with Kōga's attack.

The poor deluded bastard didn't have a chance, as Hana's thrice elementally chakra enhanced attack pierced straight through Kōga's entire body and incinerated it to such an extreme that despite how big his body was, only ashes fell from where he once was moments before. As Hana continued to arc around to return to everyone, the spectators could see how the girl's attack worked. Much like her Tenga (Heaven Fang), Sekai no Kiba relied on the attributes of wind and lightning composition to create a massive piercing force up front to cause massive damage. However, with the addition of the remaining triplets launching fire backwards, the main body not only gained incredible additional forward thrust and spinning power, but ensured that even if the opponent somehow managed to avoid the main attack, they would still suffer extreme burns and other injuries regardless. Throw in the immense size of the body, and Hana did indeed have what could arguably be one of the most destructive techniques ever possibly conceived.

Asuma was struck so speechless that his cigarette fell out of his mouth. Kurenai likewise could not move as she was still trying to sort out what she was seeing. Gai was so amazed by the teen's flames of youth that he honestly thought that anything he could say about it would not do it justice. Zabuza… well, it would be unnatural for a man like him to be NOT turned on by a woman showing such raw destructive power. Fortunately for him, he soon remembered whose woman she was and got his libido back under control after an odd breeze of wind blew past his waistline…

Landing back on the ground in a blaze of fire, Hana and the triplets howled to the sky in victory before exploding in a cloud of smoke and turning back to normal… and simply stood there, looking at where she had killed Kōga.

Tsume swallowed heavily as she tried to process everything that had just happened. Kōga was dead. That much was given, since the only scent of him that remained was the burnt fur smell in the wind. Many people in her clan would be angry at this, but after everything was explained, things would calm down. While they lost one of their strongest clansmen, they had in the process reclaimed one of their strongest weapons and would eventually re-establish their relationship with the summons of their clan… which were the original source of their clan techniques in the first place.

Then, of course, there was Hana. Her daughter had surpassed her. The woman had no doubt about it. Her beautiful daughter had exceeded her on the battlefield and defended her clan's honor, displaying strength that the clan would be proud of for years to come… hell, she wouldn't be surprised if the girl had just set the bar for the most insanely over the top jutsu that the clan has ever come up with for all time.

She turned to Anko, who was not at all surprised by Hana's performance. It was all because of that woman… and that man that her daughter had become so strong… wait… "Anko… where's the pervert?"

Anko turned to Tsume, blinking curiously before finally noticing that the weight on her shoulder was missing. "What the… oh forget it…" She grunted as she rubbed her temples in aggravation, clearly showing that this wasn't the first time something like this had happened. "It's not like it's hard to figure out where he's gone, anyways…" She sighed and pointed to where Hana was now on her hands and knees in the middle of the crater, just in time to see the previously unconscious man flash into view right behind the girl.

Up close, it was easy to tell that Hana wasn't doing too well. A technique on the level of what she had just done, even with the aid of 3 partner hounds and several high grade soldier pills, had physically drained her completely. Going up against one of the main terrors of her life for several years in the middle of a mindless bloodlust had drained her on the mental part. The fact that said terror was a member of her clan only added fuel to the fire.

"What… did I do?" She whispered to herself with wide eyes. "I killed a clan member…"

"After what he did, I'd be surprised if your clan considered him an actual member by the time you got to him." A calm voice said from behind her. "And if they still do after you explain everything… I would reconsider my membership."

The exhausted woman hugged herself tightly, still regressing rapidly. "I still… killed him… my own family…"

"Hana…" The voice continued, now putting a hand on her shoulder. "He was about to kill your mother and brother, and was willing to kill you simply because his pride was hurt and he was finally exposed for the bastard that he was. Could there have been another way? Probably, but thanks to you, no one other than the prick was hurt after it was clear that everything went to hell. You did exactly what your clan would have expected you to do, and protected the people who were loyal to their comrades. If anyone says any differently, I'm sure Tsume will make it her life's mission to convince them otherwise or render them unable to physically speak their mind afterwards."

The heiress sniffed as her body relaxed a small amount, no doubt reacting to her boyfriend's words. "Honestly…" She laughed as she wiped her face and began to turn around. "It's times like this that make me remember that you actually are more mature than you let oooOOH MY GOD!" She yelled and backed away in shock as she looked at Ghost… who was grotesquely swollen on a good half of his body, including the right half of his face, giving him a lopsided appearance.

Oh yeah, and he was wearing underwear on his head like the pervert he naturally was.

"… I guess this would be as good a time as any to tell you that I think those bugs on your clan's summons are a bit poisonous…" He began to lean forward just as a large snake bit him on the head. "There's Anko's response to me stealing her underwear again…" He continued as he leaned more. "And I wasusing youasastandtostayup!" He rushed quickly as his body landed flat onto the ground, where he proceeded to twitch. "Ow…"

The Inuzuka heiress stared at her boyfriend for what seemed like an eternity before she slowly began to laugh. By the time Tsume arrived, she was on the ground holding her sides and laughing hysterically.

"I guess I should thank you…" Tsume snorted to Ghost, who had not moved at all minus the twitching.

"It has been said that my pain has been the answer to many problems people have…" The man whimpered out. "I wish much pain upon the bastards who first said that… and that they take what they said back… people have too many problems." There was a brief pause. "… I can't feel the right half of my face… ahhh… I'm finally losing consciousness…"

o. o. o.

A week later:

"We're back, baby!" Naruto roared as he charged through the front gates of Konoha, leaving the rest of his team sighing as they walked casually to the men at the gates. "Did you miss me, village? Don't worry, your movie star daddy's here!"

"He seems a bit more energetic than usual." Kotetsu smirked as he handed the paperwork for Kakashi to sign.

"You have no idea." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"What's that about him being a movie star?" Izumo asked curiously. "He didn't actually replace someone he accidentally killed, did he?"

Haku raised her fingers to her lips. "Don't give him any ideas!" She hissed.

"We were tasked to guard Yuki Fujikaze while she made her new film…" Kakashi sighed. "But the mission became… complicated, and instead of an action movie… we have an action documentary. I can't say much more yet." He eye smiled as he handed back the papers. "So did anything interesting happen while we were gone?"

The two dumbstruck guards looked at each other with their mouths wide open before quickly beginning to snigger. "Oh, something happened all right." Izumo snorted. "But I think it would be best if you went to Hokage-sama first for your mission report."

"I'm thinking I should have seen a black cat on our way here…" Kakashi muttered to himself as he turned to the blonde. "Naruto, you can finish your victory dance later. We have to see Hokage-sama now…"

"The old lady can wait! The dance of epically deserved homecoming worship takes priority!" The blonde roared at the top of his lungs… only to get beaned hard by a rather large sake bottle moments later from the direction of the Hokage's tower.

"If there ever was a moment that proved my point about you being loud… that was it…" Sasuke deadpanned as the blonde got back up with a hand over his now bleeding head.

 _'Oh, just wait until Tsunade-sama hears what happened during the mission, Sasuke…'_ Kakashi mentally sweatdropped…

30 minutes later…

BOOM! Naruto's body was firmly implanted in the wall that was normally reserved for Jiraiya when he did something perverted.

"I see…" Tsunade said calmly as she brushed the dust off of her clothes and sat down in her chair again, the perfect image of calm. The horrifically terrified shinobi in front of her who had witnessed the woman wail on a 13 year old idiot were not fooled. "So not only was a highly restricted S-class demolition tag used for something as trivial as destroying a building, but you have allowed yourselves to be filmed and shown fighting in a movie that will be shown across the entirety of the Elemental Nations…"

Kakashi began to sweat. "We h-have the word of the d-director that he will alter the t-tapes so that our seals and appearances w-will be changed, H-hokage-sama. S-Since h-he is a big name in the L-land of Fire, he won't be hard to g-get in contact with…"

The busty woman frowned and took out a piece of paper. "I'll keep what you said in mind when I assign someone to handle this…" She grunted and began to write down the beginnings of another C-ranked mission. "Other than everything that Naruto did WRONG… AGAIN… I want to congratulate all of you on a job well done." She turned to Haku. "I have heard that many of the shinobi in the Land of Snow have given you scrolls filled with their Hyōton ninjutsu as thanks for what you have done for them and as an apology for the dishonor they have done to your family, Haku. You must be excited to try them out."

The girl smiled and nodded. "I am, Hokage-sama. I have received instructions for 8 separate ninjutsu, and many of them have additional levels that the owners did not want to part with or did not have enough information teach through the scroll. I plan on learning and mastering them as soon as possible."

The village leader smiled in kind and nodded. "Good. It is always pleasant to see a kunoichi who is willing to further her skills without prompting." She took a deep breath. "Moving on. We have established potentially lucrative trade routes with another country and have increased our reputation among the other nations. Once more, we will send some of the excess missions we are getting from Snow country to our allies as a sign of thanks and good will…" The woman paused as she glanced at Naruto, who had just managed to unstick his body from the wall. "Speaking of good will. I am wondering when you are going to start on the rest of your requirements to become special jōnin, Naruto. If you don't start soon, even with the gift we've given you, your friends will get the promotion before you will."

"Give me a break, Baa-chan…" Naruto groaned as he rubbed his face. "You gave us this mission right after my promotion, so I haven't gotten a chance to check out the requirement list yet… hell, I don't think I even got one…"

Kakashi's eye widened as if he remembered something and reached into his pouch. "Oh! Sorry, Naruto. I was actually told to give it to you. It's just that I was so busy with some of my other activities that I forgot…" He took out a piece of paper and handed it to the blonde.

"Why am I not surprised…" The boy deadpanned as he unfolded the paper and read the list with Haku and Sasuke looking over his shoulder curiously… all not noticing the very sinister looking grin on Tsunade's face. "Let's see… lead a team on 4 C-ranked or above missions without any major issues… damn, with my luck I'm never going to get that done. Okay, aid and participate in 2 major shinobi related village events… that doesn't seem so bad. Take the mandatory chūnin introductory and management education sessions as well as the mandatory special jōnin application courses… aww man, more school? This sucks." He shook his head and breathed out tiredly, still ignoring Tsunade's eager piercing eyes. "Last two things. I gotta do at least a grand total of 100 hours of patrol duty both in and around the village without reports of misconduct or failing to perform my job… goodie. No doubt some hard ass is going to be breathing down my neck the entire time. And the last thing on the list is… is…" His eyes widened in horror, as did Sasuke's and Haku's.

The look Tsunade was giving the blonde was so horrifying and sadistic at that moment, that even if she was offering Jiraiya a free feel of her breasts, he would still prefer to immediately run away, screaming for his life…

o. o. o.

With Iruka:

Iruka Umino sighed as he began to organize and sort out the registration forms for this year's new batch of potential shinobi. Since the scarred man had done what no one had managed to do before and not only gained Naruto's trust, but managed to graduate him along with several other clan heirs as well, he had been spared teaching the youngest class of children and had instead been allowed to start again with the upcoming second years, which included the Hokage's grandson and, surprisingly enough, Hiashi Hyūga's daughter. Apparently the boy had become somewhat of a second Naruto in personality, so of course, he was the first person the other teachers were going to dump the boy on when it came to appropriately teaching him…

Suddenly, the man felt a disturbance. As if all that could have gone right with the world had gone horribly, horribly wrong. The sky was grey, the light and warmth of the room he was in had dropped considerably, and innocent puppies were being kicked everywhere…

" **WWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTTT?"** Roared a very familiar young voice from the Hokage's tower with the volume and intensity of 1000 Haruno's voices.

Iruka knew at that moment… that this coming year of classes… was going to be the year that defined his life as he knew it… forever…

If he paid any more attention… he would have also heard the insane and rightfully deserved maniacal laughter of his village's leader.

o. o. o.

About 30 minutes after that:

"I still didn't see why she had to maim me after I screamed my head off…" Naruto grunted as he wobbled with his right leg and left arm in a splint while he used a crutch to keep up with Sasuke and Kakashi. True to what Haku had said, she had parted ways with the men soon after Naruto's said maiming to train.

"Dobe, she didn't humiliate you for the yelling. She humiliated you because of all those things you said about her after the yelling… which technically qualified as yelling as well, by normal human standards." Sasuke deadpanned as he recalled all the insults the boy had roared at the woman in quick succession before she literally took matters into her own hands. The funny thing was that Tsunade's method of destroying the small child had been remarkably similar to what Sakura had been in habit of doing to the boy shortly before the Chūnin Exam finals when they had stopped training. The display of raw power against that annoying teammate of his both tickled a warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach… and scared him to no end. The Uchiha shook his head. Maybe he needed to have another session with his Yamanaka therapist soon… "Besides, it's not like you aren't going to heal from those broken bones by the end of the day."

"Still… I find it hard to believe that your last requirement has you assistant teaching at the academy for 6 months…" Kakashi chuckled as he read his book beside them. "You're not exactly teaching material, Naruto…"

"I'm not exactly the best for conventional learning, either…" The boy grunted as he kept up with them. "How the heck am I supposed to not kill those brats when they bug me?" The boy wept. "I might as well try to get my promotion the normal way…"

"At least you're helping out Iruka." Sasuke stated. "You could have been stuck with that annoying woman who does the kunoichi lessons. I heard from Sakura and Ino that all she does is teach girls how to use makeup and arrange flowers…"

"I'd rather you shove a Chidori in my chest if that were the case…" The blonde replied completely serious without any hesitation, causing Kakashi to flinch momentarily.

"Naruto? Sasuke? Kakashi-sensei? You guys are finally back!" Yelled Sakura as she ran and tackled Sasuke in a bear hug. Sasuke not only managed to stay standing after the girl jumped on him, but smiled momentarily, too, much to Kakashi's and Naruto's shock.

"I see you're all better." Sasuke stated with a smirk. "Looks like you can actually do some missions now…"

"I was actually on my way to Tsunade-sama now." Sakura replied happily. "I've been working non-stop on my rehabilitation as well as my studies under Tsunade-sama along with Ino and Hinata! We're all learning a lot of medical techniques. Hinata is also amazing at it. I mean, I'm supposed to be a quick learner, but she's as fast as I am a lot of the time!"

"What do you expect? Hinata-chan's a Hyūga. Chakra control is kinda her thing." Naruto commented with a shrug.

"Naruto? What happened to… wait… that was you that screamed so loudly that everyone had to cover their ears almost an hour ago, wasn't it?" Sakura frowned. "You said something stupid to Tsunade-sama, didn't you?"

Kakashi sighed and handed Sakura Naruto's list of requirements before the blonde could respond. "Naruto's list of things to do in order to get promoted. Last requirement."

The pink haired girl raised an eyebrow at her teacher before taking the paper and read the end. Almost instantly her face put on an expression of pure shock… before she burst out laughing and pointed at Naruto. "HAHAHAHA! Oh my god! Naruto! An academy teacher?"

"… Assistant academy teacher…" The boy corrected quietly as everyone within hearing distance stared at him with confusion.

Sakura apparently didn't hear him as she staggered in a failing attempt to breathe. "Haha. Gasp. Naruto. Haha. A teacher…" Her breathing calmed down quickly. "Naruto… a teacher…" Her face became pale. "Oh dear log… Naruto… a… TEACHER…" Before anyone knew what happened, the pinkette had grabbed the front of the blonde's clothes and shook him violently. "This is a joke, right? Please tell me you actually AREN'T going to teach kids at the academy for half a year!"

"Um Sakura… Naruto can't talk when you're halfway breaking his neck…" Kakashi sweatdropped, knowing that the girl was still much stronger than pretty much everyone else in the village minus Gai, the Ōgakari, and Tsunade. "And no, it isn't a joke. Naruto really is going to help out at the academy starting the new term in a couple of weeks…"

"Don't you guys get it?" Sakura began to rant while breathing heavily. She had stopped shaking Naruto, so everyone could see that he was foaming at the mouth at this point. "This is NARUTO we're talking about! The guy who used the SEXY JUTSU when he was tested for his transformation technique! The apprentice of GHOST ŌGAKARI! And we are having him TEACH kids how to be ninja?"

"If you keep on shaking him like that… I don't think that will be a problem…" Sasuke said with a deadpan as he pointed to the clearly passed out blonde.

"I… feel… so… loved…" The jinchūriki said before he passed out on the ground.

"Hey Sakura, don't you think you're over reacting a bit?" Kakashi laughed nervously, trying to calm down his ex-student.

Sakura, on the other hand, saw things differently and started to back away from the three in fear. "You need help. You all need help!" She began to scream hysterically and ran to the Hokage's tower. "Tsunade-saaaammaaaaaa!"

Naruto coughed as he barely managed to pick himself up before chuckling and turning to Kakashi and Sasuke. "Heheh… Told you she would freak out. Pay up."

"Damn…" Both Sharingan users swore as they reached for their wallets. They both had expected the technically sanest member of their team to handle the news better than she did… but somehow Naruto knew her better… which was a very unsettling thought.

"So are you sure you can handle doing nothing but screwing around with brats and doing paperwork for 6 months?" Kakashi asked as he handed over his money. "You aren't exactly the type that has a lot of patience."

The blonde smirked. "Who said that's all I'm doing? I'm planning on multitasking and doing the guard duty hours and the village event stuff as well when I'm not telling the kids which end of the kunai is the sharp one."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "That sounds like a lot of work for someone like you. How are you going to manage to do all of that with… out…" He paused as he looked at the smirk on the boy's face. "You're going to use shadow clones to finish everything, aren't you?"

"The log's answer to all of life's most mundane tasks…" Naruto replied in a dreamy voice as he was surrounded by sparkles and stared off into the sky.

"Careful, dobe. I'm pretty sure your brain can't handle vocabulary on that level." Sasuke smirked as he walked away. "I'm getting something to eat to celebrate making it back home. We did just finish our first original A-ranked mission after all…" He paused before turning to Kakashi, who was once again pretending the world outside his book didn't exist. "Wait… please don't tell me that the thing with Dotō turned it into an S-ranked mission…"

"Hmm? I'm sorry Sasuke, were you asking something?" The cyclops asked curiously with the air of complete innocence around him.

"Dobe… don't take this the wrong way… but I'm going to ask to go on a mission that doesn't have you on the team so I have an idea of what a normal one feels like." The Uchiha said with absolute conviction.

"Teme… I only wish I could do the same…" Naruto wept before pausing, blinking, and turning around. "What the…?"

"Hello, my youthful friends! I am glad to see that you have returned from your mission!" Lee shouted from right behind Naruto, causing everyone to jump away from the boy in shock.

"Holy crap!" Naruto yelled as he fell backwards. "Lee! What the hell, man?"

"I have been training very hard in the Art of Silent Killing!" Lee announced. "I have made it my goal to sneak up on 1000 people by the end of the week!"

"I can't believe I'm saying this… but you have actually managed to find a way to become even more disturbing without changing your clothes or personality, Lee…" Sasuke stated with twitching eyes. "… and sticking to your theme… it works… something is horribly wrong with this world…"

 _'Kami… thank you so SO much for not letting Gai learn this technique when we were that age…'_ Kakashi mentally thanked the heavens while weeping from his good eye.

"Bushy Brows…" Naruto started, putting his good hand on Lee's shoulder. "If you promise to me that you will not do that again in my presence… I swear on my nindō I will find a way to get a date between you and Sakura…"

Sasuke froze as he tried to picture a date between said parties… and for some reason he felt as if he should kill the blonde painfully…

Thankfully, Lee had different thoughts in mind. "Th-that is certainly a most wonderful offer my friend, however I have already talked to Sakura about my feelings for her a while ago and we agreed that it is much too early for us to try and date, especially when we are still figuring out what our youthful paths in life should be. Regardless, I am already busy training and aiding my new teammate with her training so that we can be prepared for the next Chūnin Exam!"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "New teammate? That's fast. Normally, Gai would have been informed of this weeks in advance… and through him, me…"

Naruto shook his head in a depressed manner. "Poor, poor, unfortunate girl…"

Lee gave them all a thumbs up. "She is a most youthful kunoichi who has joined Konoha from Oto's ranks after she was betrayed by her leader before the invasion. Gai-sensei, Neji-kun and I are tasked with helping her recover from her experience and condition! We are making great progress!"

"You mean that girl from the exams? Kin? She was hanging out with Sakura a lot while she was recovering from her injuries." Sasuke commented. "If Sakura thinks she's okay… then as long as she doesn't bug me, I'm alright with her being around… now hurry up. I'm hungry."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto sighed as he wobbled along. "Oi Lee. Come on and fill us in on what happened when we were gone. The guys at the gate mentioned something, but we had to see the Grandma before we could find out..."

o. o. o.

Iwa:

"So I guess this is it, huh?" Rōshi chuckled as he shouldered his bag at the entrance of his home town.

"Don't tell me you of all people are getting cold feet." Ōnoki smirked as he watched his friend get ready to leave.

"Nah." The red headed man smirked as he took out a bottle of sake. "I just think I'm getting a bit too sober for my tastes."

"Figures." Ōnoki rolled his eyes. "See if you can get your hands on some good booze for me when you get there."

"I'll try, but I can't promise you that it'll still be in the bottle when I come back." Rōshi laughed as he turned around. "But I'll see what I can do! Take care and try not to torch the office while I'm gone… I wanna be there when you do it."

"Don't tempt me! I just found out how to do the damn paperwork faster and enjoy my spare time." Ōnoki laughed as he himself turned to go back to his office. "If Saru didn't send me that letter… I might have done just that while you were gone just to spite you…" He grumbled.

Despite their upbeat departure, organizing Rōshi's position as an envoy to Konoha had been a righteous pain in Ōnoki's ass to add to his back problems. The council in Iwa held much less power over things than in Konoha, but that didn't stop them from raising an uproar about Rōshi going to the Leaf as their representative. Whether it was because they still held a massive grudge against the Leaf or because they didn't want to lose the 4 tailed jinchūriki again, or because they held a grudge against the man for running out on them during the war, their overall opinion of the matter was the same.

Hell. No.

However, as previously mentioned, the council here held less power over things than in Konoha. So, under the argument that Rōshi wasn't going to do anything productive for their village otherwise and spent most of his time getting wasted, Ōnoki said that the best way to use their 'reclaimed rogue' jinchūriki was to give him a job that he was actually willing to do, and since Sarutobi offered the job and Rōshi technically already accepted the offer, there was really nothing to discuss. Plus, it wasn't as if Konoha was the type to actually try something as stupid as steal or kill their jinchūriki, even if they knew that Rōshi was one. Everyone knew that even though Konoha was still supposedly the strongest of the 5 ninja villages, most of their shinobi and leaders were rather adamant on keeping out of trouble when it reared its ugly head.

Which led to Rōshi taking a humble stroll through the Land of Earth to get to Konoha.

"I should've told 'Noki to stop using Akatsuki…" The jinchūriki sighed as she shifted his pack in midair. "But of course, that would raise suspicion via heated argument. The idiot would run his mouth about me to them and everything would go to hell…" He suddenly smirked as he took another swig of his alcohol. "But hell, if everything turns out that way, at least I'm gonna be proper smashed when it does. Those Leaf bastards always did have the best sake trade routes…" He paused for a moment as he felt something was off and stopped on a large rock. "Oi. You know it's rude to follow the elderly without helping them out…" He grunted out loud to seemingly no one.

"Hahah." Laughed a pleasant voice as a common looking Iwa chūnin appeared out of a nearby boulder. "My apologies, Rōshi-sama. I had seen you running by and I could not help but see where you were going…"

"Cut the crap, boy, and tell me what you want. The longer it takes for me to get to where I'm goin', the more I'm gonna have to ration my sake." The red headed man grunted, not at all bothering to mention that he had enough booze on him to keep a 4 man team drunk for the entirety of a trip around all of the Elemental Nations.

The chūnin raised his hands in defense. "Whoa. I was just curious where you were going! No one in Iwa had seen hide nor hair of you since the war until you went to Konoha with Tsuchikage-sama, and I was simply curious as to where one of the strongest shinobi in our village was headed to now. Are you going back into seclusion again or is it a mission?"

Rōshi frowned as he looked at the sheepish man. Something about him rubbed him the wrong way. "Mission." He grunted. "And I want to get to my destination sooner rather than later. If you will excuse me…"

"But of course, Rōshi-sama…" The man bowed before leaving the man alone. The jinchūriki left moments later in the opposite direction.

"That boy gave up too easily…" He muttered as he took in a very deep gulp of his alcohol and hooked it onto his side next to his pouch. "Better keep my eyes open 'til I get to the Land of Fire…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Tsunade sighed as she watched Sakura walk nervously out of her office. It had taken her over 2 hours to try and convince the fellow time traveler that having Naruto in a teaching position for 6 months was NOT going to corrupt the shinobi system as they knew it for all eternity and make ramen the official food of Konoha. Actually making Naruto Hokage… well, she still had to wait before making any final decisions on that one.

Just as she was FINALLY going to be able to drink some of her special stash, someone knocked at her door. "Oh for fuck's sake." She grunted as she put away the drink. "This had better be important!" She yelled, giving her version of 'you can come in' to whoever interrupted her private time. The door opened to show the massive frame of Ibiki Morino. "Ah…" The Hokage mused as she realized what was happening from the troubled look on the man's face. "This is about those four prize prisoners of yours, isn't it?"

"Please excuse my rudeness for about what I am about to say, Hokage-sama…" Ibiki sighed with his eyes closed before glaring at the woman. "But what the hell are you thinking letting those inmates outside of the village like that? They still could have held vital information regarding Orochimaru's bases and work that we haven't gotten out of them!"

Tsunade said nothing as she stared deep into her top interrogator's eyes. "Ibiki. Do you know why the information about their release out of the village was kept secret, even from you?"

The man's eyes narrowed. The man knew that Tsunade was far from incompetent. Impulsive, definitely, but not incompetent. Her eyes were saying that there was much more to the story than he had assumed. "No." He said out loud, but everyone else in the room could hear the unspoken ' _But I would prefer it if you would tell me in the next 5 minutes.'_ bit as clear as could be _._

The woman smirked and leaned back. "We are both aware of who managed to get those shinobi to crack in the first place… correct?"

Ibiki's eyes flashed as he already began to put the pieces together in his mind. As far as he knew, only a handful of people in the T and I department knew of the event that took place in their underground mass torture chamber. "Please don't tell me they are going out for a picnic…"

"No… nothing of the sort." The woman's eyes flashed. "It just so happened that someone she knows has simply found a use for them that could benefit us in the future… and that person has taken some of his family members along to make sure nothing happens."

"Are you sure that this is wise?" The scarred man asked. "Knowing who we are talking about, this could easily come back to hit us in the face if the public got wind of this…"

"They won't." The woman replied. "They are surprisingly adept at keeping secrets when needed, especially ones they started."

"I know they are…" Ibiki countered. "I am more concerned about the prisoners they took getting away."

Tsunade smiled. "Don't worry about that. From what I've heard, the prisoners won't even think of crossing the line as soon as they meet up with their old friend again…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yep. The world is moving once again, folks. I'm getting this chapter out earlier than normal so I can get to studying for finals this week. Once again, tech college with 7 week quarters = massive headaches and cram sessions.

So Zetsu is the Naruto world's Jengo Fett, huh? I was wondering how Madara was going to pump out an army. Looks like Hashirama is the mommy! Isn't that adorable? Wouldn't that mean that Zetsu is Tsunade's uncle? And we thought the Uchiha was a dysfunctional family.

Less than 300 reviews left before the 2k mark guys! Keep it up!

I'll make sure to put in some actual NaruHina next chapter, but remember, I am a sarcastic funny and epic legendary writer, not a fluffy one, so don't expect much in that department.

For those of you who think Ghost is overpowered, I will say this: The man is good at dodging things and is very fast, but if you stick him in an RPG, you will find that his HP and Defense stats suck something awful by any standard, to say nothing of the shinobi of this world's standards.

Anyways, wish me luck for next week, guys. I'll need it.

Review. Worship the log. Hope that Kishi doesn't ruin the entirety of the 4th shinobi war arc. And review again. Peace!


	55. It's become common fact among my roommates that if it's raining hard outside, I've been caught dead center of the storm by accident at some point, regardless of what I was supposed to be doing at the time. I have nothing to say in my defense at all.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 55: It's become common fact among my roommates that if it's raining hard outside, I've been caught dead center of the storm by accident at some point, regardless of what I was supposed to be doing at the time. I have nothing to say in my defense at all.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

With everyone's favorite blonde:

Naruto was a proud person. While some of his actions, behavior, pranks, and the existence of his 'sexy' line of ninjutsu would point out otherwise, the jinchūriki always stood firm in his beliefs and morals to the point of utter stupidity. Perfect examples of this pride were during his first encounter with Zabuza when he ran headfirst at the man in order to get back his headband, and when he fought against the partially transformed Gaara and shoved a kunai with an exploding tag up his ass. Granted, said morals have been somewhat bent a bit since his travel back in time, but the point was that even a religious zealot would be impressed by how seriously the boy took his view on life.

This proud boy/late teen, was now on all fours in front of the elderly man that he considered his grandfather… borderline wrapping himself around the old man's leg. Thankfully they were at the Sarutobi compound, so no one would see the boy make an idiot out of himself again.

"Please!" The boy wailed. "Why do I have to teach brats, Old Man? I gotta train in order to fight Akatsuki and do bigger missions! Can't you convince Granny to take it off of the list?"

Sarutobi groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He had just gotten to a good part in Jiraiya's new book when the boy nearly kicked down the door to his house screaming his head off. "Naruto, is it really so bad that you have to teach children at the academy for only 6 months? From what I heard, you are actually quite the instructor, teaching Konohamaru both the Shadow Clone Technique and Rasengan effectively by the time he was your… physical age. Also, if I'm not mistaken, you helped Hinata-chan quite effectively too before she graduated…"

Naruto's response to that was to ram his head repeatedly against the ground. "Do you know how many times I had to explain those techniques to Konohamaru before he even got what I was saying? The only reason why I taught those techniques to him was because he wouldn't leave me alone and because I had been stalling and forcing him to learn a bunch of chakra control after I made the mistake of showing off Rasengan in front of him in the first place. I taught him how to do it, but I had no idea that he actually managed to learn it 'til after Konoha… you know…"

"Became a smoldering crater… yes, I know." The old man sighed, still trying to wrap his head around the image of such a preposterous concept. He had seen wasted towns and cities before during the wars he was in, but for that to happen to a hidden village… "Naruto…" The old man sighed, slightly shifting away the boy so that he wouldn't be in arm's reach. "… I think you do not understand what kind of training this task is supposed to give you…" The blonde's ears twitched, revealing that the old man had his attention now. Few things shut the blonde up like the magical t-word. "This list of tasks that Tsunade gave you was not simply made by her, you know. It was a joint effort between myself, Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Ghost…"

"That just means that this torture was planned by the people who know me best! You're not making me feel any better about this, you know." Naruto countered with his hands up in the air.

Hiruzen pretended not to hear the boy and continued his explanation. "The tasks were not only a way to show the villagers that you are not simply being given an easy promotion, but also way to give you experience in missions and tasks that you were unfortunately unable to obtain in the previous timeline." The ex-Hokage walked towards a cupboard near the side of the room, took out a pipe, stuck in some tobacco, and lit it with some fire composed chakra, noting that the boy was now sitting straight up and listening carefully. "Now then… I can assume that you can come up with the reasons why we gave you the other tasks?"

The blonde paused for a moment, not willing to answer the elderly man's question until he actually remembered what all of his tasks were in the first place. "Fine. Hold on for a sec. The first was leading a bunch of successful missions." The boy said thoughtfully. "That's obviously to train me in leadership skills since so much was happening last time that I had to constantly be put under the watch of Kakashi-sensei and Yamato-taichō." He started to count off the list on his fingers. "Um… I had to help out with 2 major public events… I think that was so I could understand how the interaction between the shinobi and civilian sections of the village work… and so I could see how to deal with public events…"

Sarutobi nodded. "There is also the fact that many of these events' require preparation on multiple fronts, such as the economic, the security, selection of where the events will take place, people to hire and where said people go. By participating on all of these subjects, you will not only be able to point out where any potential threats inside the village are, but you can also be able to exploit them when attending similar events outside of Konoha. For example, you would not see many carpenters and merchants far from the main road in the middle of the day during the spring festival, would you?"

The boy nodded furiously, always eager to learn new ways to become a better shinobi. "I get it, gramps. Thank you…now back to the list…" He paused. "Leading missions, village events, the mandatory lessons…" He smiled sheepishly. "I guess I can't simply just cut those classes, can I?"

"The word mandatory is there for a reason, Naruto." Hiruzen stated with finality, deadpanning at the boy.

"Right…" The boy laughed nervously and scratching the back of his head. "…There was the 100 hours of guard duty…" He paused. "Do I actually need that one? I mean, I've been pulling pranks on the village on the whole for so long that I probably know its defenses better than most of the ANBU…"

The old man mentally agreed with that last statement, but decided to point one thing out while not confirming the boy's suspicions. "It's not just knowing about the village's defenses, Naruto. Remember, you spend a considerable amount of time outside of the village, and like you said, when you returned, you were always with Kakashi or Yamato. Your interaction with the other shinobi in the village was quite miniscule compared to your classmate's… other than Sasuke, of course." He took in a deep breath from his pipe and exhaled slowly. "Konoha population-wise is the largest of the 5 great shinobi villages. While you have seen me frequently when I assigned you missions, that is normally not the case for many others due to the sheer size of our military body. I may be known as the Professor, but even I do not know all of the shinobi in this village by name and face…"

Naruto blinked. "That reminds me, did you ever remember what Mizuki's last name was?"

The old man looked away embarrassed. "Case and point." There was a moment of silence between the two, and for some reason the wind could be heard in the room. "My point is…" Hiruzen coughed. "Is that you need to be more familiar with the shinobi in the village other than those from the clans. You have made a name for yourself with your performance in the Chūnin Exams and the invasion, and expectations of you have only grown after Ghost's fight with Kōga a week ago, since it's common knowledge that you are his apprentice. Everyone knows what you can do, but they have spent so long avoiding you that they don't really know who you are still. Outside of your classmates, who people will eventually realize are almost all prominent members of our shinobi clans, you know relatively few Konoha shinobi very well. We need to change that, and guard duty is the best way. Everyone has to do it eventually, and hence, you will have a chance to meet and talk to everyone…" He looked at the boy in a calculating way. "Despite the fact that everyone does this job, it does not mean you can simply take it lightly and spend your time talking to others. It will leave a bad impression if you show that you don't take your job somewhat seriously, and that's something you of all people need least of all."

Naruto nodded and swallowed heavily. Why did everything he got himself involved in always get blown out of proportion in some way or another? "Heh…" He laughed sheepishly. "No pressure. Right? I mean, how hard is doing guard duty compared to fighting a guy with the Rinnegan?"

The old man smirked. "Doing guard duty? Not that difficult. Staying awake for it? …Well, you've seen Izumo and Kotetsu at the main gate enough times to get a decent idea…" He chuckled as he watched Naruto swear under his breath. "Ah… but as you can see, all of your tasks so far have had an underlying goal for you to achieve. Don't you think it would make sense that your teaching at the academy would have one too?"

"Yeah…" The blonde grunted as he attempted to calm down, not at all trying to hide his displeasure at doing boring jobs, which he had hoped he had gotten rid of when he finally got promoted. "Teaching kids…" He mumbled as he tried to think of how it would benefit him. His mind slowly went to Iruka, which he made a mental note of seeing sometime soon. "I guess it can help me out with learning a bunch of random facts about other countries…" He started off. "I mean, normally with my luck, I would accidentally sneeze on some kind of priceless historic rug without knowing anything on a diplomatic mission to the Mizukage's place or something…"

Sarutobi could only cough to hide any signs he might show that he could see that happening all too clearly.

Naruto scratched the back of his head nervously. "Also, I guess it could help me out with the basics a bit. I mean, odds are I could easily take down Iruka-sensei any day of the week… but he still has a better grasp on the fundamentals than I do and can recognize the signs of an ambush or certain techniques much faster than I can too since he probably goes over them a bunch of times a year…"

The Hokage nodded. "Indeed. Ever since Iruka started teaching, he has proven himself to be incredibly knowledgeable about shinobi tactics. While many are quite outdated, few people in the village can list them all out as quickly, confidently or as accurately as he can." He puffed on his pipe again. "However, there is also something else that you might find interesting about teaching at the academy, Naruto…"

The jinchūriki raised an eyebrow curiously. "Hm? What is it, gramps?"

The old man leaned back in his seat and blew out slowly. "I believe that being an academy instructor, next to being the leader of one of our military division leaders or a clan leader, is the closest thing for a shinobi job-wise to being a Kage."

"Eh?" The boy blinked in a confused manner. "Can you run by that me again please? Ero-nii and Kakashi-sensei aren't nearby, so I wasn't expecting to be told something incredibly bizarre or confusing at the moment."

Hiruzen chuckled. "Naruto. Despite my status as the village's strongest shinobi, most of the time my work consisted of doing paperwork, negotiating with foreign diplomats and the Daimyō, and most of all, attending to the issues of the shinobi and villagers underneath me. As an academy instructor, your goal is to not only prepare these children for the future, but also make sure to do the paperwork, design tests, talk to parents, and address issues in the classroom." The boy's eyes widened. "Now of course, the scale and range of the workload are significantly different, but the nature of the tasks both jobs consist of are nearly identical. Tons of paperwork, multiple individuals that all can't get along under your charge, and people both inside and out of your area of expertise trying to get you to do things that you don't want to do, or can't because of your job's limitations."

Naruto took in everything the old man was saying and committed it all to memory. "You guys… really didn't just give me those jobs because you thought it would put me in my place?" He asked in awe.

The Hokage chuckled. "What? Oh. Well, I can't say we weren't looking forward to how you were going to react and deal with being assigned some of the most dull tasks in the village, but still, they do serve their purposes… and it could be worse… you could be stuck with what Izumo and Kotetsu do for 6 months…"

The boy deflated and looked at the old man with dull eyes. "This is your revenge for all those pranks I pulled, isn't it?"

"Oh no." The old monkey chuckled as he took out an orange book. "That comes when the jobs you were assigned finally settle in and you realize how bad they really are... and also after the 6 month mark after you become Hokage later on. I have several ANBU tasked with recording your reactions throughout the next few weeks so that we have an accurate timeline of when you finally lose it."

Naruto blinked several times in disbelief. "… You really did go insane after being Hokage for so long, didn't you?"

Hiruzen snorted and didn't look up. "Like that crude ally of ours has said many times, with great power comes great mental instability… some just hide it better than others, and sometimes it just takes some longer to kick in…"

"Does this mean the rumors about you setting the Hokage office on fire while I was gone were true?" The blonde asked skeptically.

"… Sometimes it just takes longer to kick in…" The old man repeated with a sigh as he turned the page and blood started to run from his nose.

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

Hinata sweat profusely as she maintained her stance, focusing her activated eyes on her cousin, who was in nearly the exact same stance she was except for the fact that his was a tad more rigid.

Without any sign indicating otherwise, the two jumped at one another with impressive speed for shinobi their age and engaged in a frantic taijutsu battle. In her mind, Hinata could not help but laugh at how things were playing out. First, Neji had been the prodigy of the Branch house and she had been the undisputed failure heiress. Then after her training with Ghost, she had become somewhat of a secret weapon whose abilities were unknown to everyone but those she trusted completely and completely overwhelmed her genius of a cousin, putting his 'fate' ideals in their place in front of all their teammates and friends. After that, the two had done some light sparring every once in a while, but for the most part had agreed not to attempt an all-out match for a while…

Now… Hinata could confidently say that while she did improve during that time, Neji had progressed just as rapidly, if not more. And the entire Hyūga clan was watching the results of their training first hand.

Both cousins were incredibly skilled and fast, there was little doubt about that, and their skills in their family art was just as apparent; however, there were differences that could be pointed out if a person paid close enough attention. Hinata's style seemed to be the smoother of the two, never wasting a single movement, and able to flow through and around almost any style that Neji threw at her to avoid damage. Neji on the other hand, while a bit stiff still, revealed experience against high-speed battles, no doubt from fighting against Lee so frequently, hence he frequently showed that he was the faster of the two in both speed and precision. There were also moments where it appeared the boy almost knew exactly what the girl was going to do before she did it, and thus sometimes countered the girl's moves practically at the moment she had made them. Almost any attempt Hinata made to attack her cousin was met far faster and more accurately than most people would have believed possible, but due to the girl's natural flexibility and more relaxed fighting style, not all the attempts were deflected or countered.

The end result was Hinata very slowly outmaneuvering her slightly faster cousin and scoring one or two extra hits every few encounters, and since they were fighting using Jūken, the small openings Neji gave steadily became more frequent as time passed. This was the pattern that developed for the past 45 minutes till the point it was clear that Neji was losing the fight.

"Stop." Ordered Hiashi as he walked to the center of the sparring ring. "The match goes to Hinata." He said in a final tone. Both teens said nothing as they panted heavily and let down their guard almost instantly while turning off their bloodline. "Both of you have come far in such a short amount of time." The leader of the Hyūga clan stated in an almost proud tone. "Neji, your adaptation of our bloodline and natural skills have solidified your title as a true prodigy of our clan's arts." The man stated to his nephew before turning to his daughter. "Hinata, your skill, technique, and ability to adapt against an opponent who is in ways more powerful than you are beyond outstanding. From what I have seen, both of you have proven to be significant members of our clan." He paused to let his words sink in. "I believe that you two have worked hard enough today. You are dismissed from any chores for the rest of the day."

"Yes, Hiashi-sama…" Both teens bowed and replied in unison before collapsing onto the ground as Hiashi walked back into the compound.

"You have… improved a lot, Nii-san…" Hinata gasped. "Your taijutsu and speed are nearly flawless…"

"Coming from the person who beat it… that says many things…" Neji breathed out. "Yet if you were allowed… to use your ninjutsu… our match would not be so even…"

Hinata smiled. "True… but I don't feel like paying for the damages to the training field…"

The two chuckled lightly as they breathed on the ground, both knowing that they were some of the few Hyūga that could actually damage the arena without using Kaiten… and that Hiashi wouldn't mind paying the damages himself, since their clan was so rich and repairing fighting platforms was cheap since they lived in a ninja village.

"Humph…" Snorted a slightly older female Hyūga from a bit away. "Just because those two helped with changing the clan, they have gotten into their heads that they are actually worth something to the clan."

"Well, they are supposedly some of the most promising shinobi our clan has had for a while…" muttered another female. "Neji was the rumored prodigy of the Branch house even before everything began to change. Word is that he learned Kaiten just by watching the Main house members do it a few times."

"As if that matters." Grunted another, who was dressed in more expensive clothing. "Things were much better when the clan was split and the Branch house members knew their place. Ever since the change, I've ripped 3 of my dresses while tending the garden and stained 2 more while cooking… and no one would even eat what I made. This is ridiculous. Such chores are meant for servants, not ones such as ourselves." Let it be known that even in the Hyūga clan, there were those that lacked what is usually known as common sense.

Many of the other girls in the group nodded, all of whom were so used to being pampered and spoiled that they had trouble wrapping their heads around the fact that they weren't that special anymore and they actually had to do common chores for themselves now.

"Has anyone seen Yokino?" Asked one of them. "She would normally want to watch this and see if there were any weaknesses in the girl's style… especially after her father was arrested…"

"She hasn't been taking it well…" Mused another. "She mentioned something about having to do some special chores earlier, but other than that, nothing…"

"Forget about her. She was never any help to us, even when she was a member of the Main house… she spent most of her time staring at herself in the mirror. She was almost as big of a disgrace to the clan's eyes as Hinata was. Speaking of the traitors again, what's even worse is that those two are still hanging around the demon and that group of barbarians that dare to call themselves a clan… and they have the gall to claim that they have beaten our eyes…" Grunted one of the eldest women in the bunch, who was in her mid-forties and happened to be the wife of one of the clan members that were arrested for treason. "… It's because of them that this has happened in the first place… even Hiashi-sama has fallen under their spell."

"But there's nothing we can do about it now… is there?" Mumbled one of the more dejected members of the group. "The seal has been replaced, and the Ōgakari are much stronger than we originally thought, both politically and on the battlefield… I was there during the fight between one of them and the Inuzuka. There is no way that we can go up against someone like that and not suffer any significant losses on any front…"

"… There is a chance we won't have to fight them on any front…" Muttered another one of the older women there, catching all of their attention.

"Fight who?" Asked Hinata as she and Neji walked in their general direction. "Is someone causing you issues?"

"Ah…" Mused one of the Hyūga nearest to the pair and bowed. "It is a trivial matter, Hinata-sama. Please don't worry yourself about our petty problems…"

Neji didn't make any gesture as his cousin waved her hands in defense. "Please, just call me Hinata. We are all family here, and we should treat each other as such. I simply wanted to help you if you had any problems…"

"That is very kind of you, Hinata-sama, but proper manners dictates that we have to address our heiress as such…" Stated one of the elder women in a sickeningly fake kind tone. "It would be unbecoming of you to concern yourself with our problems… regardless, we have it under control, so there is no need for your aid…"

"I… see… I am sorry you feel that way…" The girl said slowly as she stepped around them slowly. "Well… if you ever change your mind… please know that I am more than happy to help you with your problems."

"We will be sure to let you know…" The elderly woman replied as all the females there bowed down again, dropping their fake smiles for real glares in the process.

As soon as they were out of ear shot, Neji glanced at his cousin. "I trust you were not fooled by their transparent flattery…"

"No…" The girl replied sadly. "Those women were among those in the Main house that were for the Caged Bird Seal. Many of them were also among the more… vocal about my lack of progress in my shinobi skills before my training with Naruto-kun and Ghost-sensei."

"Hmm…" Neji frowned as he recalled something that he had read from one of the women's lips. "Hinata… one of them mentioned us associating with a demon as well as the Ōgakari… can you please tell me why I have the feeling they were not speaking about Shadow-sama's demon partner?" The prodigy's expectations were not let down as he saw his cousin freeze in her steps.

"N-Neji? What makes you think that?" The girl asked curiously and in a way that attempted to hide her nervousness. Unfortunately, Neji had become a bit of an expert in reading body language, so her efforts were falling far short of their goal.

Playing ignorant, the male shrugged. "I just mean that they appeared to talk about 'the demon' and the Ōgakari as two separate groups, which is odd since a vast majority of the village don't really interact much with Shadow-sama's demon… as if they could even if they wanted to in the first place, other than the Inuzuka, anyone with an animal summoning contract, and Tora…"

The pair shivered as they remembered one particular incident where the small dragon and the short tempered cat had chased each other around the village multiple times in blind rage, destroying several merchant stands and somehow causing an abandoned building of all things to collapse in the process. The Hyūga in particular had been witness, as the two animals had barged in through the clan compound and somehow completely thrashed up 4 of the clan elder's rooms in the span of 6 minutes. Granted, said elders were arrested for treason not even a week later, but that level of damage and rage coming from two small animals was still extremely impressive.

"Regardless…" The elder of the two continued, snapping out of his small animal war flashback first. "Since you have been interacting with the Ōgakari more than almost anyone else in the village, I thought that you might have some idea as to what they are talking about…"

"Huh… I guess I shouldn't be surprised that we didn't manage to get all of the sticks out of your family member's asses, but who would have thought that they would start moving in packs like wolves?" Mused a bright and curious voice from behind the exhausted pair, causing both Hyūga to jump and turn around to see Naruto pondering thoughtfully while gazing at the small group of women.

"N-N-Naruto-kun!" Hinata almost screamed while trying to get her heart below the red. "How d-did you get here?"

"I walked..." He replied without turning. "You know… I think I see a bulge coming from a couple of their butts…"

"Naruto…" Neji said firmly despite the fact he was also trying to calm down. "We would have been informed by someone from the gates if you came in from the front entrance… and you would have been caught if you tried to jump the walls of the compound in broad daylight. So that leaves the question… how did you get in here?"

"Yes, do tell us your method of entry into our home." Mused an almost amused Hiashi from behind all three of them, causing them all to jump in surprise.

"What?" Naruto gaped. "But how? When? What… again?"

Hiashi let out the faintest of smiles. "Your teacher's technique is indeed formidable, Uzumaki, but you still lack the subtlety and control he has. Unlike his version, I can still make out your chakra in the air when you are not using it. I could easily tell you were here when I activated my bloodline as I normally do every few minutes in my office, and so it was an easy for me to… adjust your chakra around me so that you wouldn't be able to detect my presence." All three of the children swallowed heavily at the explanation as Hiashi demonstrated why he was given the role as head of the clan due to skill as well as lineage. "Now. Please do explain how you managed to evade the guards."

The blonde began to sweat as the cousins and the clan head stared at him intently. He then began to press his fingers in a very Hinata-ish fashion. "Um… well… do you guys remember…" He started off on a tangent. "… A few years ago… when a bunch of seemingly random strays… and Tora… kept on sneaking into your clan compound in the middle of the night…?"

Neji suddenly developed a large urge to use Naruto as a training dummy, which made sense considering that on more than one occasion during that time period, he had woken up smelling like urine next to a massive sleeping black Irish wolfhound. Next to his father's death and the entirety of his time spent with Gai and Lee… and the times Crypt tried to eat his 'strawberry ice cream flavored head'… That was the most traumatizing experience of his life.

Perhaps he should start going to that ninja counseling session he'd heard so much about recently…

Hiashi sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Of course you were responsible for those events. I should have figured that out after word got out that you were responsible for the Inuzuka catnip event…"

"For the last time, I had no idea that that many cats lived in the village, or that Tora was truly that evil when baked on the nip!" The blonde ranted like a small child. "I already swore that I wouldn't do anymore animal related pranks unless they were my targets in the first place!"

"I'll make sure to keep that in mind the next time you are accused of animal cruelty." The father deadpanned. "Now explain how you got in here."

"That? Oh, a few years ago I was hiding from some drunks in the bushes on the other side of the wall back there." He jabbed his thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the west wall. "I was pushing against the wall so the bushes would hide me better when the stones in the wall gave way and before I knew it, I was on the inside of the compound and inside another bush. Since then, I used it as a kinda secret emergency passage in case I had a really good prank set up or if I was running from the ANBU again… or if I just wanted to check out what it was like inside this place. That's how I slipped the animals in without getting caught. All I had to do was memorize the guard patrol pattern and get a bunch of raw meat to lure the animals to the hole. You guys probably didn't find it before because I put the stones back in place when I'm done using it. It's really easy to miss unless you know what you're looking for." There was a silent pause. "Please don't kill me. I can scream really loud if I need to."

"Had you come here to actually perform one of your infamous pranks, I might have debated that request…" The man stated skeptically, causing the boy to breathe out a sigh of relief. "However, since you came here via that means due to your… unique personality, I believe I will let this event pass unnoticed… this one time." He turned around. "If you'll excuse me, I have to get in contact with the contractor who supposedly signed off on our border walls during the inspection last month…"

The three watched in silence as Hiashi walked back to his office and disappeared around a building.

"Why do I have the feeling he's still watching us?" Naruto asked in a partially traumatized voice.

"Because he most likely is." Neji stated in a dark tone, contemplating how he was going to get back at the blonde.

"Creepy… glad I don't live here…" The blonde shivered.

"Um… So you're back from your mission, Naruto-kun? How was it?" Hinata asked curiously, desperately trying to take their minds off of what just happened. It seemed to have the desired effect as her crush snapped out of his partially shocked state.

"Oh man. Hinata-chan. That mission had everything! I rescued a princess. We saved a country. Haku turned a train into a glacier with this awesome new technique of hers…"

 _'What's a train?'_ Pondered the cousins as the blonde continued.

"… Sensei destroyed a bridge AND an island, Sasuke blew up a castle… with a little help from me, and the coolest part is that it's all gonna be used in a movie!"

"A movie?" Hinata squealed in shock and excitement.

"That settles it. The world has gone mad, and you are the reason why." Neji sighed while rubbing his forehead, hiding his face from everyone, including the cluster of ex-Main house women that he and Hinata had encountered earlier. No one noticed that his eyes were activated so that he could read the lips of the women there.

_"Why is the demon here? Hiashi should have killed it the second he saw it on the grounds…"_

_"It probably put him under some sort of illusion… you know how foxes are…"_

Neji showed no reaction as he sighed and moved his hand from his face again, appearing as if nothing had happened at all. ' _So they were talking about Naruto when they meant demon… but they also referred to him as a fox… the Kyūbi?'_

"You're serious?" Hinata gaped in awe. "Yuki Fujikaze was actually the princess of Snow country? I've heard that the rainbow glaciers are beautiful there… but that the government was very strict when it came to allowing foreign shinobi into their borders… they must have been beautiful…"

"Well, they aren't really glaciers as they are giant… glowing… stone… thingies… now…" The blonde fumbled over his words. "But they were still pretty cool to look at, and after I killed the bastard of an uncle with one of my awesome techniques, the shockwave triggered some kind of giant machine and before I knew it, the entire place looked like the Land of Spring rather than the Land of Snow. Grass, flowers, hell even butterflies were all over the place!" The boy was waving his hands around wildly.

"From anyone else, I would instantly think that they were lying or hallucinating…" Neji sighed. "… But I honestly do believe that that happened… if only because you are always in the middle of such events, Naruto…"

The jinchūriki gave Neji a nice Gai pose. "Always and forever, dude."

"That wasn't a compliment… and for the love of all that is pure, please never do that again…" The prodigy grit his teeth and sweated profusely.

"Um… Naruto-kun, did you hear about what Ghost-sensei did last week yet?" Hinata asked, trying to change the subject.

"You mean that fight he had with one of Kiba's dumber family members?" The blonde asked casually, secretly jumping for joy on the inside at remembering Kōga wasn't around anymore. The prick had always been around during his more violent beatings when he was small… and for some sick reason, had always pissed on his wounds after the mauling was done if they weren't caught yet. Sterilization his ass. "I heard it was completely one-sided…big surprise." He yawned. "I only wish he'd showed me his fūryūdan (wind dragon bullet) variants before everyone else. I mean, I WAS his moving target when he was trying to get the original down in the first place, after all…"

The pair looked at him disbelievingly as the boy ranted to himself. "Please tell me he isn't going to teach you those techniques any time soon." Neji pleaded. "I don't think the elderly would be able to handle it if they heard that you had moves like that under your belt…"

"Who says I don't already?" The blonde asked skeptically, causing Neji to get develop a very large empty feeling in the pit of his stomach and pale drastically.

"If you need me… I'll be recovering in my room…" The genius muttered as he walked away in a trance. Naruto swore he also heard him say, "… and writing out my will…" too, but he wasn't sure.

"Sooo…" Naruto stalled, grasping at sticks for conversation topics. "I see that your old man is turning out all right. I wasn't kicked out of the grounds this time. Is the rest of your clan the same?"

"Most…" Hinata sighed as she walked to the clan's garden where she enjoyed resting with her mother before she died. "However, there are still many members from the old Main house that are still unwilling to adapt to their new life style. They are rather irate with their current position, and at me, father, and Neji for our parts in the change…"

"If any of them had the nerve to call themselves ninja… kick their ass, Hinata-chan." Naruto said with conviction. "Honestly. We get trained for years in how to survive in the wilderness and stuff like that, but they can't handle doing their own laundry and making their own food? That's just sad…"

"Naruto-kun… if you remember… you didn't know how to make much other than instant ramen and toast before we started training with Ghost-sensei…" Hinata pointed out with a small smile on her face.

"Yeah, but I liked eating that way…" The defendant pouted before instantly cheering up again. "Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I had a look at the list of things I had to do in order to get promoted, and I found out that I gotta be an assistant instructor at the academy for 6 months!" He missed Hinata tripping on her feet. "Can you believe it? At first, I thought the old lady was just messing with my head again, but heck, it means I get to hang out with Iruka-sensei for a while and not worry about getting called for a mission in the middle of training!"

"Y-you? T-teaching with I-Iruka-sensei?" The girl squeaked in shock. "A-as in teaching th-the same class?"

Naruto blinked in confusion. "Yeah… what's wrong with that Hinata-chan? I thought you would be glad that I wasn't leaving the village for a while…"

The blonde nearly screamed in shock when a large, firm hand rested itself on his shoulder without any warning at all. "I was not aware that you were going to be teaching at the academy this semester, Uzumaki-san…" Hiashi said in a pleasant voice that did not at all hide the underlying threat of a person who wanted something. "Young Hanabi is also attending the academy this year and, oddly enough, is in Iruka-sensei's charge. What a pleasant surprise…"

"I thought that the larger clan heads had to do more paperwork than the other clans…" The boy shivered with wide eyes, not at all daring to look the terrifying father in the eyes and sweating profusely, mouthing the word 'help' repeatedly to the equally nervous Hinata.

"While that is indeed true, I have found that the new council has far less… demanding requests than the previous one and prefers to handle most of the menial tasks themselves, so there is more free time on my hands than before." The clan head replied with an almost amused tone before steering the boy down a path around the garden. "Now, while I know you were hoping to speak with my eldest daughter, I believe it would be in our best interests to have a conversation about the upcoming academy semester…"

"Yes sir…" The boy squeaked as he walked with the man, clearly intimidated by the clan head and looking back one last time for any kind of assistance from Hinata, only to receive a reluctant wave goodbye from the girl. Oh, he could tell that this would not end well for him at all…

"I don't believe you are aware of this, but my youngest, Hanabi, has been spending quite a lot of time with the Third Hokage's grandson recently…" Hiashi started off in a casual tone, barely hiding his content smile as he saw the blonde's face pale even more.

Not well at all…

o. o. o.

Near Konoha's marketplace:

"So you were offed by one of those guys too?" Mused Rōshi as he drank heavily and walked beside Asuma Sarutobi, who was beginning to regret being involved in the whole time travel business.

"Not so loud, you old drunk. If you haven't noticed, we're not exactly in a private area…" The Sarutobi grunted as he tried to light another cigarette.

"Feh. As if civilians will know what the hell we're talking about. You're just like your old man. You're no fun at all until a good fifth of your blood is alcohol… then you start dancing on tables like a monkey and throwing things at the local thugs in the corner to start a fight, kick their asses, and steal their wallets along with their pants before getting out of town like a bat out of hell… ah, those were some good times…" Ranted the red headed Iwa-nin as they walked by a busy crowd. By the time the two groups had passed each other, half the people there were staring at the jinchūriki. Partially because he was from Iwa, if his forehead protector was legit, and partially because his clothes were a loud and flamboyant purple.

"Well… that explains that one mission where dad came back with all those pants and wallets stored in one of his scrolls…" Asuma sighed in embarrassment. "Don't you have anything more… ambiguous to wear? I mean, it's going to be hard enough for some people just having a ninja from Iwa walking around at first…"

"Bah." Rōshi waved his hand lazily, dismissing the comment. "I got out of Iwa before the third war even picked up. I barely even caught a glimpse of any Konoha shinobi during that time, or Kusa shinobi for that matter. Besides, these clothes are a part of who I am! It tells people that I am a man who is not afraid to express myself! Women love a man who is open with their emotions! Is that really such a bad thing?"

Before Asuma could answer, a familiar voice made itself known. "YES! COME, MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS! JUST 12 MORE LAPS AROUND THE MARKET AND WE WILL BE READY FOR OUR MOST EXCITING MISSION! KIN! YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL! I AM CERTAIN THAT HOKAGE-SAMA WILL APPROVE YOU TO PARTICIPATE WITH OUR MOST IMPORTANT TASK!"

"Here… pretty much…" Asuma answered, not bothering to check what the source of the recent outburst was…

The very confused Iwa-nin looked up to see Gai and his team, minus Neji, chasing after him on the rooftops of the market.

"Oh god!" Kin wheezed as she trailed behind the group. "Why is he doing this before a mission?"

"It's okay, Kin!" Tenten laughed nervously. "You're doing much better than you did two weeks ago! You've already done 33 laps when before you could barely do 10! Sensei will cut you some slack if you last another 2 rounds since you're still not used to this yet!"

"YOUUUUTTTHHHHH!" Gai and Lee shouted at the top of their lungs as they jumped high in the air, displaying their attire with the sun hitting them in just the right way to maximize the shadow effect before they disappeared again.

The Iwa-nin paused for a moment before staring at his sake. "Wow… gotta remember to not binge the new stuff or you start to hallucinate…"

"If only…" Asuma sighed. "Look. I know I'm supposed to give you the tour of the village, but since you just got here, do you want to come back home so you can talk with my old man like most people your age do?"

The jinchūriki frowned. "Oi! I have you know that I am simply aged like fine wine, dammit! Do you see a grey hair on this head? No! It's still as strong and red as the day I was born! I have had plenty of women come to me for my rugged and mature looks!"

"Just to let you know, Jiraiya has claimed the same thing and failed to back it up… and you're old enough to be his father." The Sarutobi deadpanned.

Rōshi snorted. "Tch. Fine, I'll consider your advice about the clothes after I see Saru…"

"And I'll write it down for you so that you can't claim that you were too drunk to remember." The chain smoker grumbled as they walked out of the market district and to a noticeably less populated and wealthy part of Konoha.

"So you didn't tell me who did you in yet…" The jinchūriki mused. "You probably know by now, but I was taken out by that fish guy with the huge sword…" He spat to the side of the road and cracked his neck. "Bloody blue bastard carried me on that prickly piece of shit for days before they bothered to put me out of my misery…"

Asuma sighed, knowing that he wasn't going to shut the guy up any time soon, he might as well not mention any names. "It was that religious nut that could turn himself into a living voodoo doll. We managed to cancel his technique and cut his head off before he could do any real damage, but his partner stepped in and literally stitched him back together like some kind of twisted small girl's doll. You can probably guess what happened afterwards…"

Rōshi winced. "Ouch. Tough break. Nothing worse than doing serious damage to an opponent only to find out it did jack in the end…"

"My fiancée was expecting when my student told her the news…" The Sarutobi said sadly without looking.

Rōshi stopped in his tracks for a moment before continuing. "…I stand corrected." The elder stated in a surprisingly sober tone. "… Sorry for bringing it up."

"Don't worry about it. It's not like we keep a record of how we all died on display for everyone else…" Asuma sighed before smirking. "… Although it did must have suck to be carried like that for days on end. I nearly lost an arm to that sword myself…"

The jinchūriki grinned. "Well, isn't that a pleasant surprise? We have something in common after all." He took a swig of his booze as the Sarutobi chuckled to himself. "By the way, where are our oh-so-insane saviors anyways? I thought they would jump me the moment I stepped inside the gates."

The younger of the two shrugged. "From what I've heard, all of them other than Ghost have left town to do something, and I'm smart enough to stay out of it. As for Ghost…"

The two paused as the sound of very familiar insane laughter caught their ears. "Hahahahahaaaa! Come, Farfetch Steve McPantyhosen! Let us escape the vile witch and make way to the joust, lest we be turned into ducks!"

Said time travelers, against their better judgment, turned around to see Ghost, wearing several casts and a hospital gown, in a wheelchair holding several crutches out in front of him like a lance, rolling at impressive speeds on the side of a building with nothing appearing to be pushing him, being chased by a pissed off Hana and her triplets. (A/N: The wheelchair crutch jousting bit is based off of a good 3 months I spent during my freshman year of high school. To this day, I am the only person I know that has actually beaten someone up with a crutch… though in my defense, the prick wouldn't stop hitting my broken leg at the time.)

"Ghost! As soon as the morphine wears off and I catch you, I swear I am going to put you under for so long that you won't be able to move again for a year after you wake up!" The Inuzuka roared as she and the rest of the group disappeared over a rooftop.

"Yeah…" Asuma commented. "He's a bit preoccupied at the moment…"

Rōshi paused as he looked at his sake again before slowly putting it away. "The rooftops of your village are a dangerous place, kid. And let me tell you, if you fall off a roof in Iwa, you go down a good 150 meters before you finally hit the bottom."

"Yeah, I heard that your village was carved out of a single mountain and stuck in the middle of the largest range in the Land of Earth. I'm curious, how do you guys get supplies up there?" Asuma replied, trying to change the topic desperately. "I mean… your village is literally in the mountains…"

The red headed man smirked as they continued to walk, mentally noting that they weren't being followed at the moment. "Well you see, normally I would get in trouble for telling people this, but odds are your old man knows all about this stuff by now. It all begins with the foundation of Iwa, when a bunch of our founding clans found this huge underground river, reservoir, and cave system under the mountains where we are now…"

o. o. o.

Back at the Hyūga Compound:

Hinata sighed as she walked towards her room. She really wanted to talk to Naruto, but her father had made his intentions clear the moment the blonde had let slip that he was helping out Iruka at the academy for a good 6 months… and the girl couldn't blame Hiashi. Naruto was a good person and his heart was in the right place… but even she would be on the verge of killing him if Hanabi ever came back and suddenly started turning into a naked woman with a huge rack…

… Not that she didn't try the technique once or twice herself… if only to set a goal of what she wanted to look like when she got older, of course… or so she told herself… more like convinced really…

Moaning as she opened her bedroom door, she wanted nothing more than to strip and take a long hot bath. She didn't care that Naruto would probably go looking for her after her dad let him loose and accidentally see her… her crush was a bit crazy, but his modesty and respect of women's privacy had never changed. The only reason why he occasionally stole the panties of the women at the springs was because he was forced to. He paid for that with the subsequent mass beatings that he got, anyways. Plus, it wasn't as if he gave any of THEM massages either… mmmm masssaaaaggggeeessss…

However, these borderline illegal thoughts were immediately shoved to the back of her mind as she registered the state of her room, which was clearly not in the condition she had left it in. All the furniture in the room had been moved significantly. Her clothes were everywhere in the room, clearly showing that someone had been looking through her things. "What the…" The girl whispered out loud as she took in her surroundings and walked into the room. She didn't understand how this could have happened. She always locked her room before she left it.

Pausing for a moment, she rushed into her closet and moved one of the panels in the floor before breathing out a sigh of relief. The small box that contained several small pieces of jewelry graced her eyes. The jewelry, along with a small letter underneath them, were some of the few possessions of her mother's that she had. She had frequently taken the box out back when she was still weak willed, and it was one of the few things that could calm her down after an event shook her to the core.

"Thank goodness…" The girl breathed out. "I don't know what would have happened if I had lost this… at least there isn't anything in my room that is valuable or embarrassing, since I hide the clothes just outside of the Ōgakari compound… except for… my diar…" She froze in mid speech as she slowly turned around and looked at her bed… where the mattress had been shifted over enough to indicate that someone had looked between the folds…

The following shriek of terror was without a doubt the loudest Hyūga made non-Uzumaki prank related sound in the compound ever recorded. In less than 5 seconds, Naruto, Hiashi, Neji and 5 other Hyūga had arrived at the girl's room with their minds geared to be able to fight a Bijū if needed, only to pause as they only saw a messed up room and a horrorstruck Hinata staring at her bed.

"Whatever it was, I'm fairly certain I didn't do it this time I think!" Naruto roared in potential self-defense as he skidded to a halt in front of the doorway.

"Hinata!" Hiashi half yelled. "What happened?!"

"M-My d-d-d-d-diary…" The girl stuttered in full blast, indicating that said book was something extremely important to her. "S-s-s-s-someone s-s-stole m-my diary…" She shivered as she began to hug the small box in her hands, not even daring to look at anyone in the eyes. "Th-they'll r-r-read it…"

"Oh boy…" Naruto paled, knowing exactly what was inside said book.

"This does not bode well…" Neji stated, also losing color as he was the only person in the Hyūga clan who had a general idea of the contents of the book were.

Hiashi frowned a small amount. "That was very unbecoming of you, Hinata. I expected more of you. To react as such over such a silly thing as a diary…" He stopped as he noted Naruto's and Neji's reactions. "… I take it that it would be best if said diary was not read by the public."

"Oh yeah…" Naruto nodded instantly. "… and your clan, and you, and Hanabi… and pretty much anyone else who isn't involved… and the nearby woodland creatures just to be safe…"

"Hinata-sama once threatened to use me as a testing dummy for her personal jutsu if I read her diary… and she meant everything she said…" Neji shivered at the memory.

"Naruto-kun… did you take my diary?" The girl whispered in a silent tone that did nothing to hide the murderous rage that was mixed in her voice, causing all the men there to subconsciously step back in fear.

"M-me Hinata-chan…?" The boy laughed nervously as he sweat profusely. "I don't want to die just yet… I-I'd rather steal th-the underwear of the w-women in the jōnin hot springs again…"

Neji blinked. "Wait… you did that? And lived?"

"Not now, Neji!" The blonde hissed through the side of his mouth before making several dozen clones. "Find the book! For the love of all that isn't painful, find the book, damn you!"

"RUN!" The clones shouted as they ran everywhere in a desperate search to find the key to saving their existence.

"There's no need to go looking… I know exactly where it is…" Spoke up a confident female voice from nearby, causing everyone to freeze in their tracks… or in the case of many clones, fall flat on their faces.

"Why didn't you say so earlier, damn it!" Roared Naruto childishly... though if anyone bothered to pay attention to the boy, they would be able to see that his mind was already thinking at incredible speeds. ' _Confident tone… hysteric Hinata… missing diary… she took it in the first place, or knows who did.'_ He listed in his mind…

 _'That's one of the ex-Main house women who Hinata was talking to me about earlier… I think she was the daughter of one of the council members who tried to take control of the clan from Hiashi-sama… I believe her name was Yokino…'_ Neji mused. "That's a relief…" He breathed out in a relieved tone. "I was worried what would happen if someone would have read it…"

The woman, who appeared to be in her mid-twenties, was dressed in a very expensive looking kimono and held herself up with a nearly royal air, smirked in a smug fashion. "Oh, I read it alright. I was surprised that our innocent little princess had such a dirty mind…" She took out a piece of paper, which caused Hinata to pale considerably. "… and pretty much all of them involve our young blonde monster over here…"

The jinchūriki's eyebrow twitched, but he still kept his cool and continued to think of a way out of the situation. ' _Overconfident ego… embarrassing perverted evidence… evidence… overconfident… perverted… I could work from that angle… but how to twist the story to make it believable… just a little bit longer…'_ "Careful, lady. You're treading on thin ice as it is… don't want to break any laws now, do you?"

"Give… give me back… give it back…" Hinata said in a near hypnotized state as she slowly walked to the woman as if possessed.

"Oh, I could give it back to you so that you could write some more sick monster porn novels…" Yokino sniggered, her smirk widening as she noted the twitch in Hiashi's face as she said that bit. "But I don't have it right now. An associate of mine does, and if I don't come back soon, said friend will make copies and spread it all over the village… won't that be a major blow to the clan? Or to you, Hiashi-sama?"

Hinata froze in her tracks at the thought of her diary being known to everyone in the village. She would never be able to show her face in public again!

"Enough with the ridiculous taunting." Hiashi stated, donning his cold face as the Hyūga head. "Tell me what you want already."

The woman smirked. "I want a lot of things, Hiashi-sama… but I think I will settle for my father's…" She paused as her demand was interrupted by Naruto's laughing. Soon enough, the boy was rolling on the ground holding his sides, apparently unaware of everyone's attention now focused on him. "It seems as if the… demon has finally gone insane…" She grunted.

 _'It's hard to tell when a person is lying or telling the truth when they are laughing their ass off…'_ "You hehehe… you actually think that you stole Hinata-chan's diary? Hehehehe…" The blonde laughed up a storm, causing everyone to blink for a moment before his words set in. Ghost's words echoed in his mind. ' _Make them doubt themselves and their position, make them doubt the authenticity of the evidence in their own hands… and you have already won half the battle…'_

"N-Naruto…kun?" Hinata asked, clearly confused as to what was happening.

 _'He's up to something…'_ Hiashi mused, not once showing anything on his face. ' _I'll play along with it for now, Uzumaki… pray that my trust in you is not short lived.'_ "Care to tell us what you mean by that?" He asked in a cold tone.

"You heheh… you actually think that Hinata-chan… of all people… hehehe… would write stuff like THAT? Hahaha!" The blonde continued to laugh his ass off. "I thought you guys would easily be able to tell apart a fake diary from a real one with your eyes… hahaha! I guess your eyes don't cover for your gullibility, though!" The boy collapsed on the ground holding his sides, completely unaware of the looks that he was getting from everyone in earshot.

"L-Lies!" The woman shouted hesitantly, clearly sensing a threat to her position now, as she pointed at the blonde. "There was no way that you could have known about the girl's diary! Even if you did, this is the Hyūga clan compound! It is impossible for you of all people to have been able to sneak in here without being caught!"

"Unless you have forgotten… he has been doing that for years… and did so again less than an hour ago." Hiashi stated in a matter of fact tone as he stepped forward. "He even explained to me how he did it… though I must admit, his skills have reportedly grown considerably since his apprenticeship with the Ōgakari… and we should know by now that the range of their skills is still unknown…" He didn't bother to look at the blonde, but the message he was conveying was clear. ' _I understand what you are trying to do… I'll help to a degree… don't screw this up…'_

The opposition took another step back, clearly showing that she was losing ground. "It… it can't be! You have to be lying! What would make you do such a thing at all in the first place? There is no good reason at all!" She hissed.

 _'Speak as few lies as possible, and give them more truths to support the lie to make it harder for them to deny it… yet still make them all flow together as if the entire thing was the truth…'_ Naruto managed to get control of his breathing and calmed down a small amount. "Yeah… and there wasn't really a good reason for me to prank all the clans in the village, steal the underwear of the women at the jōnin springs, and paint over the Hokage monument either." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly, you'd think that she'd get that no one and nothing is off limits to me, wouldn't you? I snuck in earlier today when everyone was at Hinata-chan's spar and had a clone run off with it as a stupid prank! All that crap in there is mostly stuff I stole or copied from Ero-Sennin's scrap notebook for his next porno… of course, no one was supposed to know about the switch other than Hinata-chan herself, who would figure out it was me who did it in the first place and not react as she is now, but now because of you, things are blown way out of proportion…"

"Ero-Sennin?" Neji asked curiously. "I was not aware you upgraded Ghost-sensei's title."

 _'There are times where you can give them circumstantial fake evidence that is more believable than the real evidence itself… but be careful how you use it…'_ "Nah. Ero-nii is still Ero-nii. Ero-Sennin is that pervert Jiraiya. You know, the guy who taught the Fourth and the pervert who writes the Icha-Icha series." Naruto shrugged. "He helped me out with some training a while ago, but he would keep on ditching me to do 'research', which was really just peeping on women in the hot springs… so I swiped his notebook after like, the 100th time. He really is a disturbing old man… and he kept on mooching off of me…" He pouted and crossed his arms like a child.

Everyone's eyes widened considerably at this statement, even Hiashi's. "This… I did not know about…" The Hyūga head stated. "It is… possible that this happened. Jiraiya-sama's reputation is indeed… unique. However, we cannot simply believe that he trained you… and through that believe that you took his notebook… on your word alone. Do you have any proof that he did?" ' _Uzumaki… if you can prove this…'_

Yokino sneered. "There is no way that someone as noble as Jiraiya-sama would pay attention to a brat like this… he's obviously been lying the entire time…"

"Yeah…" The blonde replied. "He taught me some cool things after I bribed him with my sexy jutsu… ™… " Everyone sweatdropped at this statement… both at how ridiculous it was, and how _entirely_ in-character it would be. "… But I guess the only way you guys will believe me is if I do this…" He sighed as he bit his thumb and flashed through some seals. Hiashi's eyebrows rose almost to his hair as he immediately recognized what the boy was doing. "Summoning!" The blonde yelled as he slammed his hand onto the ground and was enveloped by a cloud of smoke. Less than a second later, the crowd was greeted to the sight of an orange toad and yellow toad wearing jackets. "Yo, Gamakichi, Gamatatsu. What's up?"

"Naruto! You haven't summoned us in a while! Did you get snacks for us?" The yellow frog asked excitedly. "Fukasaku-sama and Shima-sama wanted to talk to you soon, too!"

"Oi! What's with all the freaky eyes?" Gamakichi asked in a slightly more rude tone. "These guys keep on staring at us. Are they blind or what?"

Naruto sighed. "I'll get snacks for you two later. And to answer your question, we're in the Hyūga clan compound, so yes, they can see you. I don't think that they appreciate having their bloodline made fun of, either."

"Hyūga?" The orange toad asked. "So this is what the other clan members look like? I've only seen Hinata, so I couldn't be so sure. Dad told me about them. Said they had sticks up their asses almost as large as the Uchiha's before they got wiped out… also claimed that half of them looked like clones… from what I can tell, he wasn't stretching the truth…"

The blonde face palmed. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce you to Gamatatsu and Gamakichi, sons of the current toad boss, Gamabunta. I apologize for Gamakichi's rudeness… his foot isn't big enough for his mouth just yet…"

"Hey! If you guys get me some snacks in the next minute, I might consider letting you become my first underlings!" Gamakichi laughed while obviously trying to emulate his father.

"Hey brother! It's Hinata-san!" Gamatatsu said childishly. "I like her! She's really nice and doesn't do weird things like everyone else…"

"It… it can't be…" The woman with the 'fake' diary entry in hand stumbled back, knowing full well that the only person alive that was supposed to have a summoning contract with the toads was Jiraiya. "I had… a fake this entire time?"

"It seems as if we don't have any need to keep you unharmed…" Hiashi frowned as he stepped forward. It was a testament to his self-control how he did not give a single sign of smirking or smiling at that point. "You will be properly punished for attempting to slander both my and my daughter's name…"

"Can we have the book back still? I kinda still wanted to use it against Ero-Sennin as blackmail in case he has another jutsu I wanna learn." Naruto stated while sticking a pinky in his ear.

"Oi. You still have the pervert's notebook? I thought you would have used that by now!" Gamakichi mused, inadvertently solidifying Naruto's story in everyone's minds as the 'truth'. "I mean, he was practically begging at your feet the last time I saw you…"

"W-wait!" Yokino shouted. "If this is fake, why is the girl still embarrassed?"

Hinata was in no condition to speak at the moment, prompting Naruto to step forward yet again and laugh, mentally patting himself on his back for coming up with an answer to this question beforehand. "Duh. It's a girl's diary? Of course she would have written some of her deepest fantasies in there! Have you seen Hinata-chan go after fresh cinnamon rolls? That sweet, warm, sticky frosting… going everywhere…?" The boy made very dirty sounds and licked his fingers, getting the point across rather clearly.

No one other than Naruto and Hinata would ever know that that particular… scenario had actually come up once or twice in the girl's dreams. The various interpretations that could have been made from the blonde's description of the frosting on the other hand… somewhat more frequently. Thank the log that Hinata had actually let the boy read one or two of her less embarrassing entries for fun so long as he kept his mouth shut… and that was after he had given her a day's worth of pampering and massages as payment for the small look…

"Enough." Hiashi ordered. "I believe we have heard enough. While we are not pressed for time, I would prefer it if our names were not slandered by false documentation." Several other Hyūga stepped forward and surrounded the now nearly hysterical woman. "You will tell us where your partner is and you will co-operate. I will not have a rogue individual such as yourself insult the clan any more than it has been today…" He turned to Naruto as his clansmen jumped the screaming woman. "As for you… while normally I would be inclined to cripple you for such a stunt, this time only you have my thanks…" He stated, momentarily flashing a small smirk. ' _The child is clever. He was almost caught when he was explaining how he committed the crime… but other than that his façade was near flawless… and to be able to summon toads as well… he truly is his father's child… and so much more…'_ "I believe you should go get my daughter's real diary before it settles into her mind that you were the one that stole it in the first place… I am fairly certain your fear of her initial reaction was not faked, after all…"

The blonde paled and turned to see a pasty and very emotionally drained Hinata standing behind him.

"Whoa!" Gamakichi yelled as he jumped away from the girl. "Uh… we'll see you later Naruto… I uh… don't think I'm welcome at the moment…"

"Hinata-san looks really scary…" Gamatatsu shivered as the pair disappeared the same way they appeared in the first place.

"O-okay, H-Hinata-chan… let's go get your d-diary now… th-then you w-won't have t-to kill me…" The blonde stammered as he shakily walked the silent girl outside of the compound.

Neji walked to his uncle. "Should I follow them?" He asked quietly. He also quickly figured out that the blonde had made up the very convincing story about the diary, but he also knew that the blonde would never do anything to actually hurt his cousin, so he kept silent through the entire ordeal.

"No." Hiashi stated. "I believe that it would be best for my daughter to be alone with Uzumaki at the moment. He has an… interesting effect on people… my daughter more so than most…" There was a brief pause as the two watched the ex-Main house member get subdued quickly and rendered unable to move. "… I hope you paid close attention to what Uzumaki did. It was a bit unorthodox at times, but it was certainly far better than what you can expect from most individuals. I have little doubt that you will encounter events such as this in the future. Learn from what happened and keep an eye out for such things in the future, because then your life will most likely depend on it." He walked forward, most likely toward where Yokino was going to be interrogated. "The people who can do what your friend just did are few, but you can be certain that there are many of them in the higher ranks of society. I can assure you that playing their game of tongues is just as dangerous as our game of steel…"

o. o. o.

At a nearby training field:

Tenten sighed as she let go of the string of her bow, which launched the nocked arrow well over 70 meters and hit the very small target nailed to a training post dead on.

"Wow…" Kin whistled, clearly impressed. "I mean, I know I said that the bow and arrow was kinda weak, but you have some serious range with that thing…" She paused as she saw her friend walk back, increasing the distance between her and the target even more. "Hold on… you're going back even more? I mean, I know the mission out of town doesn't start for another few hours and we're already fully packed and all, but shouldn't you take a break?"

"It's not enough…" The girl in buns muttered to herself as she took out another arrow. "I know I've got this down nearly to an art already in terms of hitting the target… but…" She notched the arrow.

"But what?" Kin asked incredulously. "Is there some kind of spiritual awakening thing that you're supposed to be unlocking or something? Because I'm pretty sure you're actually one of the sane people on the team."

Tenten smirked a little before drawing the bow. "It's sort of like that." She replied. "My new teacher said it's similar to the art of archery, the art of true shooting. To give yourself solely to the moment of release itself…" She instinctively activated the genjutsu that adjusted her eyesight without seals and zoomed in on the target. For a brief moment, the shape of a weapon passed her mind, before she focused again, and released the arrow, once again hitting the bull's-eye. "I've always had good aim and it's gotten to the point where it's rare that I miss my target… it's like I've always put my entire being into my weapons… but now…" She struggled to find the right words. "… It's like I'm trying to put more than just that into them… and actually make something out of it." She walked back even more, to the point she was almost 110 meters away… a distance even she had trouble with.

"Make something out of it?" Kin repeated, clearly not getting what her senior was saying.

"It's hard to describe." Tenten laughed. "But I guess if it was so simple, Scab-sensei wouldn't have claimed that what I had was so rare…" She paused as she remembered what her new teacher had told her about his friend, the man who had the original version of her powers. Without saying anything, she breathed out slowly and notched another arrow. The blurred image flashed through her mind again… but more vividly, as if the fog had slightly decreased. "Putting my entire being into the shooting…" The girl muttered to herself as she rose the bow and took aim. The image flashed again… but lingered more. She could tell it was sword this time. A western style blade… strait and thick… able to handle impacts. Her eyes narrowed down on her target. Her heart for some reason started to pump louder into her ears.

 _'I don't expect you to completely master this skill by the time I return… but I do expect you to at least remember the steps you should take to stabilize your power… and the first few verses of the poem… those words hold power for people like us. They help us… focus…'_ Scabbard's words echoed in her mind. ' _When you want to release this power… try to imagine a trigger in your head. It could be a jutsu, cutting yourself, snapping your fingers, it varies from person to person. Whatever helps you grasp the concept of your abilities the best… when you want your power to activate, you should trigger that action in your mind…'_

She could see the sword clearly now… it was one of the weapons her father kept behind the shelf in the shop… one of the first blades she'd tried to recreate for fun… and she had done a damn good job of it too, if she said so herself. She wouldn't be surprised if she knew more about the blade than the original owner did after all the time she spent polishing and secretly practicing kata with it. Her dad had told her stories of the guy who owned it before, who happened to have been a classmate of his back when he was a kid. The man had been crippled during a mission shortly after she was born and had given it to her dad, saying he would give it a better home than the injured man would now.

Concept of creation… basic structure… material composition… analyze the detail of its making… experience of growth… accumulated years… manufacturing process… everything about that sword rushed into her mind like a flood. Simply copying the shape of the weapon was not enough… everything had to be there… she wanted the blade itself in her hands… soul and all. Many of these steps she had known already on instinct since she was a blacksmith, making the process even easier than anticipated. She had everything she wanted right in front of her… she could practically hold the sword in her hands if she wanted to… all she had to do was mold it…

…The hammer she had used in her forge back home was above her head… waiting to shape everything in front of her into place…

"I am… the bone of my sword…" She whispered to herself… almost not even aware of saying it or of the glowing arrow in her hand…

… She swung the hammer down…

CLANG!

The instant the hammer hit, Tenten instinctively released the arrow, which bolted from the bow at unnatural speeds and slammed into the log with much more force than it should have and impaled the target. What she didn't expect was for the log to cleanly split horizontally and send the top half flying.

"Whoa!" Kin yelled. "What the hell was that? Your arrow warped just before you let it go and you took that training post out!"

"No… way…" Tenten gaped as she dropped her bow and ran as quickly to stump as possible. She was breathing slightly harder as she made it there and stared at what had once been her target… and the sword that was lying on the ground next to it… the sword that almost perfectly resembled the one on the wall of her father's shop. She bent down to pick the sword up… it was a near perfect replica. The shape and feel of the sword were practically the same as the one in the store. "… So this… is my power…" She whispered to herself as she swung the blade in a testing manner. She could immediately tell that what was in her hand wasn't the original… she could also tell somehow that she could have done a better job too… yet for some reason it, felt as if she still had the original blade in her hands… "… The power of a faker…" Without warning, the blade burst apart in her hands, dissolving into thin air, but not at all harming her in the process.

"Can you please stop spacing out and tell me what you just did?" Kin sighed in a frustrated tone. "Normal ninja can't simply just make swords out of thin air, let alone shoot them with a freaking bow over 100 meters! I have enough problems with the two nut cases and the near emotionless noble prick on the team! Please don't go crazy on me too."

Tenten smiled. "It's nothing, Kin. Don't give yourself a headache trying to figure out something I don't really know much about… I just found out what my new teacher was trying to get me to learn. I don't think I'll be able to do that at will for a while…" She sighed as she tried to bring up the feeling that enabled her to make the sword in the first place, but with no luck. She began to chuckle to herself. "But at least I have a better idea of what I should be doing now… I can see why Scab-sensei told me to study the theory behind archery… putting my entire being into the shooting…" She sighed and walked to where she dropped her bow. It was only at this point that she noticed that she had a small headache.

"Ugh. Fine, DON'T tell me what just happened." Kin rolled her eyes as she got up and stretched her body out. "Can you at least help me out with my weapon throwing? I think I finally have enough control of my muscles to throw my kunai and shuriken without constantly overshooting the target or ensuring that it dies instantly now…

Tenten paused with her hands resting on her bow before she sighed and sealed it away in a custom storage seal that was etched on the gloves she was wearing, courtesy of Scabbard. "Fine. I doubt I was going to get anything else done before the mission after what just happened anyways. Let's see if you can manage to hold your senbon naturally now without bending them…"

o. o. o.

At the Namikaze estate:

Naruto needed a place nearby to calm down Hinata without anyone walking in on them ASAP, and while the Ōgakari compound would have worked since no one was around at the moment, the blonde determined that other people would have that fact in mind. So despite the fact that he was supposed to make sure no one ever saw him enter his parent's home, he had taken Hinata there. The distraught girl didn't say anything as he quickly hurried her through the sealed gates and into the main living room.

Naruto had not made many trips to the compound, even after he had discovered its presence and the vast library of techniques in there. He simply didn't have enough time to spare as he had been training constantly during his free time. However, he did find time to clean out the place and restock the kitchen. It didn't help that most of the jutsu scrolls in the library were mostly focused on advanced sealing techniques, which he clearly did not have a skill for, either. That being said, the boy wasted no time resting the girl on the living room couch and made some clones to get her something to drink. "Hinata-chan, everything's fine…" The boy whispered softly as he gently held her shoulders. "Everyone thinks that your diary is a fake one, no one will believe that the things in there were made up by me. No one will think any less of you…"

Hinata didn't say anything as she slowly leaned forward and grabbed her crush in a tight hug and buried her face into his chest. She tried to say something, but forming coherent questions didn't seem to be within her grasp at the moment, so she settled for soaking his sweater. The two remained in that situation for what seemed like hours, the only thing changing was their position which started as them sitting up and ended with the Hyūga laying on top of the boy on the couch.

"Why…" She sniffed weakly, seemingly running out of tears. "Why is it that no matter what I do… I always have to rely on someone else to help me out of my problems?"

Naruto sighed as he stroked the girl's hair gently. "Really? Do you honestly think that Hinata-chan?" He got a tighter hug in response. "Come on… first of all, is it really that bad to rely on other people for help? I mean, I'm going against what… almost a dozen S-class missing-nin eventually. Even I'M not doing that alone, even if I do have confidence in myself, who was born and raised in pure awesomeness…" He felt the girl let out a small giggle. "… And remind me again who was it that dislodged that record sized tree out of Neji's ass? It certainly wasn't me…" ' _This time…'_ He mentally added. "Honestly, the old man should have given you S-ranked pay for that alone." Hinata giggled some more. "Also need I remind you that you came FAR closer to taking me out in the Chūnin Exams than anyone else I fought? Sure, I didn't use the Kyūbi against you, but if you'd caught that clone I hid in the ground, you would have had me by the balls. There was a reason why I made you in charge of a group during the invasion after all…"

The heiress sighed, relaxing her breathing and her body at the same time. "… How do you do it, Naruto-kun? … So many people hate you because of the Kyūbi… and they still try and do things to you every once in a while… how do you keep on going as you do? I thought that if my family got together… things would be better for me, and my family would stop treating me like dirt… and then this happened…" She sniffed and held him tighter again. "Why? Why do they have to be like this?"

Naruto sighed and held the girl in his arms. "Honestly… for me… it's because I'm afraid, Hinata-chan. I'm afraid of what I could become if I lose myself to that hatred, if I lose those few precious bonds I have made. Back when I was a kid… when I only really had Gramps… the only thing that kept me going was the thought of causing that old man to look at me the same way everyone else did. I… I wouldn't be able to handle it… so I kept that smile on my face and did pranks… hoping that they would make people laugh at what I did… to accept me for what I did and enjoy what I did. Of course, not a lot of people actually did, but I kept on hoping that it would end up like that." He sighed.

"Fear makes people do things… fear of losing power, fear of things changing, fear of losing loved ones… fear of realizing their own position in life… most people will do almost anything to avoid that feeling." He hugged her tighter, remembering when Nagato used one of his bodies to nearly kill Hinata in front of him. "Anyone who says that they aren't afraid of anything is either a liar, or too stupid to think otherwise."

Hinata remained quiet throughout the entire explanation. She had been around the blonde when he had shown moments of intelligence before, but this was on a scale that she never imagined he could be on. It was almost as if the boy was far older than he was physically. "Why can't people just try to understand each other?" She mumbled, finally relaxing in the arms of the boy she loved. "Then we wouldn't have to fight…"

Naruto sighed, knowing that until recently he too had been driven by that exact thought process.

 _'Kid… let me tell you something about humans… or for any species with the ability to think for itself, for that matter.'_ Ghost's word's echoed in his mind. ' _So long as people have the freedom to do feats of great good at a whim… they will also have the freedom to do feats of great evil also, regardless of what you think things should be or how hard you try to prove otherwise. That is the reason why true peace will never be achieved. Some people are simply born ever-loving pricks or really are just that completely stupid, and there is nothing you can do to change that. If you want true peace, then you have to take away the freedom of thought from each and every person on the planet… just like Madara wants. The best you can hope for is that everyone learn the true value of patience and tolerance… and even then, problems will show their ugly head every once in a while.'_

"That wouldn't work, Hinata-chan. Even if we all understood each other… some people are simply greedy and would use that understanding of others to use them for their own purposes." Naruto sighed in a slightly defeated tone. "From what I've heard, that bastard Orochimaru was really good at reading people and understanding what they were like… and through that ability, he played almost everyone under his control like puppets. Do you see what I mean?"

Hinata's frame lumped against his, clearly depressed by his answer. "Does that mean everyone will always be fighting each other? That there will always be war?"

Naruto chuckled and rubbed her head affectionately. "Nah. All people have to realize is how stupid war is and learn how to tolerate more stuff. Then all we have to really worry about are those small groups of guys that mess things up once in a while, since everyone else will be getting along and see how stupid all these wars and turf fighting are. Really, that's what ninja are actually for… not fighting wars, but protecting people from others who would hurt them… and in the meantime, we fight to protect those that are precious to us… and against the occasional rogue tailed beast slash guy aiming to take over the world."

Hinata giggled a bit, satisfied with Naruto's answer to her question. The girl was a bit depressed at how true peace didn't seem to be possible, but the reasons for it made sense… and Naruto's alternative answer to get similar results were comforting… probably because they were ideals that weren't forced on people, yet still effectively promoted the idea of peace. His answer put her to ease; there was still hope for a future without fighting. Soon enough, she felt her body relax and her mind defog a bit. "Naruto-kun…" She sighed as she rested her head and grip on the boy. "… Thank you… for everything… I'm happy that… you'll be there to protect… me…" She didn't have to ask if he would or not… she already knew what he would do regardless of what his answer was. With that, all the stress and fatigue that had built up in the girl's body and finally overwhelmed the girl, and she seemingly fell asleep in the boy's arms.

"Always, Hinata-chan." The blonde smiled gently as he brushed some hair out of the exhausted girl's face and lightly kissed her forehead before resting his head on the couch. There was a long silence. "… Still… I think you're the only one that can protect me from your dad when we get you back home… I doubt he will actually believe I 'hid' your diary that far away from your home, after all…"

"Naruto-kun… I know you helped me… but did you really have to compare my diary to Jiraiya-sama's writing?"

"… Why, Kami? Why must you do this to me?" Naruto wept comically…

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

"Stop… this is far enough." Scabbard droned as he halted the impressively large group behind him, consisting of Shadow, Waltz, Crypt, Kimimaro, Jūgo, Tayuya, Sakon, Ukon, and Jirōbō, in front of the exposed rocky face of an otherwise unimpressive hill. The latter four, it should be noted, were attempting to put as much space between themselves and Kimimaro as possible, who paid them no attention while repeatedly sending murderous glares at Waltz. "We'll build our base here…" The smartest of the group stated before turning to the most insane member of the group. "Crypt, bunker style number 14."

"Whee! I get to make a hole in the floor! I wonder if its blood is made out of strawberry sherbet fish sauce…" The childish man claimed as the restraints to his arms snapped loose, much to the surprise of many of the younger people. Clapping his hands together, the chaotic man's demeanor calmed down a small amount as he remained in the same position for several second before slamming his hands on the ground. Instantly, the ground started to rumble violently, despite the only visible sign of something happening was the appearance of a moderately sized hole in the cliff in front of them. The shifting of the earth continued for several minutes before it stopped and Crypt stood up again, his arms already somehow restrained again. "I is done! I is demanding a cookie or somethings! A coupon book or an empty water bottle would also be satisfactory payments-ses!" He looked at the sky. "I see an armadillo!"

"Hold on, brother." Scabbard sighed as he knelt down and placed a hand on the earth. "Let Shadow and I finish our parts first before we get something to eat." Less than a second later, the man's energy levels spiked rapidly. Even though the younger members of the group couldn't tell what he was doing, they could tell that he certainly was doing something large as the occasional arc of electricity jolted from his body into the ground. Like Crypt's task, Scabbard remained on the job for several minutes before he stood upright again.

"My turn!" Shadow gleefully announced as she pranced to the entrance of the dark cave and placed a hand on the walls inside. Unlike the other two, her task was done within half a minute. "All right, kiddies! Welcome to your new home!" She grinned as she ran inside.

"Come. We will show you where everything is here. Crypt will block the entrances with large boulders. They will require your blood and some specific seals in order to move, similar to a blood storage seal…" Scabbard mused as he walked inside without bothering to check if anyone was following him.

"I believe that you will find that we have a more comforting idea of what living arrangements should be like than what you are accustomed to." Waltz smiled just before he snapped Crypt's neck with one hand and flung his limp body over his shoulder. "I would suggest coming quickly… so you can get used to your accommodations before dinner is prepared."

The teens merely gaped (or in Kimimaro's case, glared) at the large man as he disappeared into the cave. "Did… did he just… break that guy's fucking neck?" Tayuya stammered, shaking nervously.

"After watching that beating the old guy gave the crazy one last night and seeing the crazy one wake up like nothing happened a few minutes later… I'm willing to bet that it isn't a rare occurrence." Sakon grunted, keeping a wary eye on Kimimaro. Said Kaguya said nothing as he quietly walked into the cave, surprising everyone else there.

"… I still can't believe that Kimimaro of all people is going along with these guys…" Jirōbō grunted. "… Even after we told him that the old guy was one of the reasons why Orochimaru was killed in the first place…"

"What do you expect? The old fucker didn't even wince when he was stabbed with those bones…" Tayuya grunted, remembering the two's first encounter. The bone user had attempted to stab Waltz with a sword made from his arm bones, only to be stopped by the old man's skin alone. Not only that, but while everyone was stunned in shock, the old bastard had actually grabbed the middle of the blade with two of his massive fingers and broken it like a twig. All with a seemingly harmless, gentle smile on his face. That single moment had prompted all of the teens to not cause too much trouble for their new apparent caretakers… well, either that moment, or the multiple times they had seen him completely maim and butcher Crypt with his bare hands. "Hell, Kimimaro didn't even pierce the skin… I wouldn't be surprised if the fart's entire body was made of nothing but bones and worn leather…"

"I don't care how strong they are…" Jūgo whispered as he walked forward. "… I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore… and they said they would help me…"

The three remaining members of Orochimaru's Sound Four (Ukon was fused with Sakon and was unconscious, so he doesn't really count) looked at each other nervously. "Might as well…" Jirōbō sighed as he walked forward. "It's not like we have anywhere else to go."

The others nodded as they entered the cave and walked down the long stairway down deep underground. Unlike Orochimaru's labs, the passage was well lit, with electric lighting and non-menacing corridors. Just as they were beginning to lose their patience, the hallway opened up to an impressive sight. A room filled with an incredibly large amount of bookshelves and scroll shelves, all neat and organized in rows. On one side of the room were additional shelves with plenty of writing material and other studying items… and on other shelves were computers. While they were nowhere near as competent at using the devices as Kabuto was, they still knew their way around a basic operating system.

"Welcome to your new home, and your new job." Scabbard stated, leaning against one of the bookshelves.

"Job?" Tayuya asked defiantly. "Since when the hell did we agree to do this shit for you?"

"It was either when I beat the living daylights out of you and your teammates… or when you shat yourselves on seeing bone boy again…" Shadow mused as she walked to one of the doorways. "I'm gonna go take a crap now… just thought I'd let you guys know… might wanna get some air freshener before coming in after me… I'm fairly certain I have gas… yep… definitely have gas…"

"If you haven't figured it out yet, this place is a library." Scabbard continued, ignoring his sister's declaration of all things unladylike. "In here, I plan to store, or attempt to store, all the jutsu in the world and preserve them. It is similar to what your master Orochimaru's dream was, but I have no intention of learning said techniques or living forever. I simply wish to honor the techniques themselves by recording their existence…" He pointed to one side of the massive room, where Shadow had just exited. "Over in that direction is the living area, which includes quarters, bathrooms, cleaning rooms, kitchen, medic bay, and a large training area. All are fully accommodated and customized to ensure that most worst case scenarios are able to be managed." He pointed to another side of the room. "Over there are several smaller training areas for more specialized training, meditation rooms, private study rooms, and a rec room for entertainment." He stretched his limbs and yawned. "Your task is to protect and guard this library for as long as it takes, while preferably training to sharpen your skills to prevent any possible individual from stealing the secrets found here. There will be, of course, more rules, but that is the general idea. As payment, you will have a home, you will be trained, you will be taken care of, and you will be protected from any military body that wishes to apprehend you for your past deeds, among other things."

The teens looked at the man dumbstruck, or at least unsure of what they should say. Tayuya, of course, was the first to find her tongue. "Wait just a fucking second here! Why the hell should we work for Konoha when we just tried to kill everyone there? Scratch that, why did you even bother using us in the first place when you could just use one of their goons instead?"

Scabbard's mouth twitched almost in the form of a smirk. "Who said that you are working for Konoha?" This had everyone's attention, even Kimimaro's. "This here is simply a project of mine. True, many of the people I will send to visit here will be from Konoha, but let me assure you that I am not stupid enough to allow something as potentially powerful as a library of all jutsu to be accessed by any government of any kind. The location of this library is out of the way of any shinobi travel route for that very reason. No one is to know about this place without our permission. Not Kumo shinobi, not Iwa shinobi, not Konoha shinobi… and so, we need guardians that aren't tied to any of the shinobi villages and are willing to get their hands dirty at times."

"You want us to kill anyone that could come across this place… regardless of origin." Kimimaro mused in an almost approving tone.

"So long as it doesn't draw any attention to the area, you are free to do as you wish. Just remember that people will get suspicious if shinobi keep on dying here. Keep the assaults to a minimum." Scabbard replied claiming everyone's attention and distracting them from the small amount of movement that was above them. "The nearest village is about 10 kilometers away from here. I did a few favors for the people there a few weeks ago, so as long as you don't bother them, they will be more than willing to order some supplies for you under their name and do a few other favors. Just don't overdo it and try to get your hands on something rare or dangerous. We'll take care of those orders…"

Tayuya felt something drop on the top of her head, but dismissed it almost instantly. "So what? All we have to do is guard this shithole for all eternity, and in return we get a decent place to live and kill almost anyone we want? That seems almost too good to be true.

"Un." Sakon grunted, scratching an itch he had on his head. "There has to be some kind of catch for this…" He glanced at Kimimaro warily.

"I'll do what you want… just please help me make sure I don't hurt anyone anymore…" Jugo sighed out loud.

Kimimaro didn't say anything before he frowned and looked up. "What is he dropping on our heads?"

Scabbard snorted. "Well now… I certainly wasn't expecting anyone to notice him just yet… oh well. You can come down now, brother…"

The teens instantly on instinct jumped out of the way as Crypt landed with a dull thud on the ground with his face in the earth. "Heheheh. I'm flat…" He giggled.

"I do believe I have seen a man more fucking insane than Orochimaru…" Tayuya mused out loud.

Kimimaro frowned. "Care to say that again, Tayuya?" The girl responded by paling dramatically and stepping away from the irritated elder teen.

"While Orochimaru was somewhat proficient in the art of seals, he does not even come close to what Crypt here can do." The most intelligent person in the room stated. "While you were distracted, you were all tagged with a proximity seal." He paused to see the shocked looks on all their faces. "If you travel more than 20 kilometers away from the base in any direction, the seal will warn you. Afterward, have 5 minutes to get within the designated range again, or the seal will kill you." He stated casually. "There are 3 villages you are able to get supplies from within that range."

"Heh…" Sakon smirked. "I should have known that you would have some way to keep us here… though are you sure about using seals? Surely you must know how skilled we are in the art…"

Scabbard shrugged. "Perhaps if we gave you several dozen years to work on them and the correct equipment, the seals may be worked around… maybe. However, since I am leaving Kimimaro in charge of you, the real question is this: will you be able to work on the seals?"

"Oh… you _have_ to be fucking me…" Tayuya swore as she glanced nervously at the Kaguya, remembering her time working under him. "Why the hell are you of all people even working with these dickless wonders in the first place?! It just doesn't make any sense! They're from Konoha of all places!" She then pointed to Crypt. "And how the FUCK is that guy still moving when the old man broke his neck less than 5 minutes ago?"

"What happens between Kimimaro and the rest of us is kept only between us unless we feel otherwise." Scabbard stated. "That being said: Kimimaro, Waltz will have a look at you after dinner. Please try to cooperate and tolerate being around him for this at least. Jūgo, he'll have a look at you after he is done with Kimimaro. As for Crypt… well, let's just say that his control of his blood makes Kimimaro's control of his bones seem amateurish, so recovering from things like a broken neck are not that unbelievable for him... or even difficult. Actually, for future reference… there are very few things he won't do… including ones that you never even thought of before."

"Meow meow meow, I like pancakes, give me card games, why is there a hooker in my sock drawer pie?" The insane man sang out in a tune that made no sense.

"We figured out that much when he tried to eat Jirōbō's hair when we first met him…" Sakon grunted, easily not pleased with his current situation.

"Yes… it would be best to stay away from Crypt's mouth at all times." Scabbard coughed out loud. "Now that we have most of the important things out of the way, I believe that dinner is ready. After we have eaten, you will be instructed in more detail as to what your tasks are, the layout of the base, specific individuals of interest that are allowed, and rules that you will follow. I can only be here for a week before I have to leave for prior engagements that require me to be elsewhere in the Elemental Nations…"

"Tch. Like what? You gonna spy on a Kage or kill a Daimyō or something?" Tayuya snorted, resigning herself to her current position, but still trying to get as many kicks into her new master as possible.

The man stopped and turned around. "If you really must know, I am meeting with the Raikage soon to discuss a business transaction with him, and I also am going to Suna for a custom weapon delivery." There was an eerie silence in the room as the teens processed what the man had just said. Multiple hidden villages, large scale transactions, important individuals involved. None of them could shake the feeling that something big was going to happen in the world soon…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah… I'm not too sure about this chapter. I've been in a writing funk these past few weeks with finals, job searching, vacation, Fallout Vegas, ninja storm 2, and new classes, in that order. I'm not a fuzzy writer, so I apologize if the naruhina was not up to standard, but this was really the best I could do. I am a writer that excels in the epic and chaos category, not the fuzzy one… unless it's tied to the chaos.

So… Naruto ninja storm 2… why didn't you come out before I killed off Orochimaru?

So I've been getting a bunch of reviews saying that my grammar sucks lately… I don't blame anyone on that. I'm an electrical engineering major, not a writing major, so these things will get by me occasionally. I guess I actually need a beta. I did have T-biggz for a short amount of time… but that didn't really work out due to some small issues that came up. He's still cool in my books. So this is to anyone who wants to have a hand in the chaos that is yet again. **I need a beta**. One that can catch my overflowing grammar mistakes and fix them quickly and efficiently so that I don't have to double the time between posting chapters and suffer the wrath of angry fans. They scare me, and I like my legs and appendix…

Review wise, we are on a roll. A little more than 200 left before the 2k mark, and by the way things are going we could possibly hit that by chapter 60 (I'm good at math. Trust me, it's actually a good estimation and not a long shot in the slightest). Let's see if we can make that mark, people.

So. REVIEW. WORSHIP THE LOG. PLAY NARUTO NINJA STORM 2. RUN AROUND IN NO ARMOR IN FALLOUT NEW VEGAS. AND REVIEW AGAIN!


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 56: The latest chapters of Naruto (515 ish) reveals that there will be fighting of epic proportions soon. There is only one problem that both sides have overlooked that will kill everything and leave both leaders weeping in self-pity… the Inverse Ninja Theory. Such a shame…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Somewhere between the Land of Fire and the Land of Lightning:

Scabbard sighed as he rested against a tree. It had been roughly 2 weeks since he had introduced Orochimaru's ex-shinobi to their new home, and like he had stated before, almost a week since he'd left it. Of course, he didn't expect all of the kids to get used to their new situation right off the bat, and that went triple with Kimimaro, who had attempted to kill Waltz over 40 times before he left, but it was still an exhausting endeavor, even for their family. Between Tayuya's mouth, Jūgo's unstable personality, Sakon and Ukon's temper, and Kimimaro's distinct willingness to kill just about everyone around him, it was obvious that they had their work cut out for them.

Luckily, the group of individuals in charge wasn't at the least bit normal either, so the sides were fairly balanced, if not heavily tipped in his favor. Waltz's patience was near legendary, and his frequent demonstrations of how he dealt with Crypt clearly showed all of the teens that the old man was not above using corporal punishment. Kimimaro was for the most part always compliant with the rules and requests of the base, and was an extremely quick learner. He was the first to memorize all of the people on the 'do not kill or harm under any circumstances slash people who have permanent access to the base' list, as well as the first to notice that Sasuke's name and photo was on said list. There was the small issue with him trying to kill Waltz every few days, but for the most part, he had been manageable. The remainder of the Sound Four were more reluctant to go along with everything; however, they always followed orders when Shadow or Kimimaro were around. Jūgo… well, he just followed around the bone wielder like a lost puppy, and when he wasn't around, Waltz became a quick substitute.

Speaking of the Kaguya and the source of the Curse Mark, the clan had made some interesting discoveries on both. Waltz had discovered rather quickly what Kimimaro's medical problem was shortly after he had snapped the boy's bone sword in half during their first encounter. After examining the marrow inside the bone, which was still functioning at the time despite being removed from the body, he found that the blood producing tissue was slightly mutated, indicating a form of cancer. Upon further examination inside the base, the medic had determined that the Kaguya's condition had originated from his bloodline. Because the boy had replaced or adjusted his bones so often under Orochimaru's tutelage, mixed with the various chemicals that had been injected into his body over the years, his bone marrow had very gradually began to mutate and produce sub-sufficient blood cells. The process was extremely slow, but because of the boy's constant use of his bone abilities, in addition to the Curse Mark placed on him later, his condition accelerated to deadly proportions.

The red pills that had prevented the boy's early mortality was something that the group didn't go into detail with… mainly because the source was considered a secret. After all, swallowing a crazy man's blood would definitely turn some heads.

Normally, consuming Crypt's blood as a form of medicine would clean out a person's system completely, purge all impurities, poisons, and diseases, restore blood levels to prime rates, boost the immune system for several weeks… and, if needed, render the person completely defenseless against the man that had made the pills in the first place. However, the Kaguya's condition complicated things since his body was already ravaged from the inside and was constantly producing more poisonous blood as time went on.

That being the case, using what they'd discovered, Waltz and Crypt made preparations to fix this with an extremely elaborate and complicated medical procedure that incorporated several high level seals that interact with a person's anatomy. The family had little doubt that Tsunade could heal the boy given enough time and resources, but they doubted that she could prevent something like this from occurring again, which was why the preparation was more complicated than expected.

Jūgo, on the other hand, was another story completely. The boy's body was, for lack of a better way of putting it, under constant evolution. Not only that, but his body could produce cells that contained the DNA of an incredible number of animals at once. Waltz and Scabbard had marveled at the boy's physical and mental condition, because they both could say that the boy, by any measure, should have far more than 2 personalities in order to properly stabilize his body. Upon further inspection and without much surprise, they had found the residue of several drugs too, courtesy of Orochimaru. While said drugs helped isolate some individual strains of the boy's genetic code, they also destabilized his body overall on several levels, making it a bit more difficult for them to help him.

That being the case, the family all agreed that what the boy needed most (after getting the drugs out of the boy's system) was a large number of psychology sessions with Scabbard, Waltz, or Shadow seeing as the woman was familiar with having another voice in her head. In addition to the mental treatments, 'sane' Jūgo would also undergo training sessions to control his power much like a jinchūriki would. This way, he would be less likely to completely lose it if Kimimaro wasn't around and he was up against a stronger opponent. The family determined that by strengthening the weaker persona in various areas, it would make it harder for the homicidal persona to gain control, and easier to regain control if it ever came out.

All of the treatment would, of course, be supervised by Kimimaro. The family did not doubt that their ability to restrain the boy, but the Kaguya had a calming effect on him just by being nearby. The Ōgakari were never the type to look a gift horse in the mouth, after all… they were more like the type that would try and teach said gift horse how to fetch and not go to the bathroom inside the house… and bite people on command.

Shaking his head, Scabbard sighed again and went over the multiple routes his conversation with the Raikage could go. The man was emotional and powerful; a dangerous combination, though if truth be told, the leader's prized technique that enhanced his physical abilities put him at an immense disadvantage against the dimension traveler, who could use his lightning element to reverse the technique in a heartbeat… or mold the world around him as he wished, if he actually wanted to…

… Or just completely change an entire planet's composition, shape, and structure, in one particular case… and people said that only God could physically change a world for the better without mass genocide. Heh, that showed them… silly non-believers…

… Still, doing things with the least amount of energy was the best way to go. The only problem with that was that the route he wanted to take forced him to make some demands of the large man that were going to raise a few eyebrows and arguments, and if not handled properly could easily put him on Kumo's shit list in record time.

After that, it was a simple task of running across the entirety of the Elemental Nations to Suna to deliver the new weapon that Gaara had ordered for Temari. He himself was rather proud of how the final product had come out. A good portion of it was inspired by the weapon of a certain monk, but honestly, what weapon wasn't in some way derived from another in this day and age?

Taking out a poster he had taken from a nearby town, Scabbard sighed and read the information once again. Normally, he avoided such events. Unlike the rest of his family, and in spite of his bad habit of going completely overboard on pretty much everything he worked on, he detested being the center of attention in large crowds(it had the tendency to attract… _their_ attention). However, he could use this to his favor if he needed an edge while negotiating with the Raikage. Plus, it would give him a better idea of where to curb the maximum strength of his wares when he sold them.

Putting the poster away and opening his jacket, the man reached into the seals inside for two particular items he had not used in quite some time. His meeting with the Raikage was not scheduled for another week and a half, so he had some time to train. He had a feeling he would need to brush up on his swordsmanship for some future events…

Smirking to himself, the immortal could not help but be amused by the fact that while he knew more about swords and weapons than pretty much anyone else in existence, he specialized in attacking from a distance and preferred to use a pole in close quarters combat… which meant that his actual sword skills were rather lacking when compared to a true sword master. It was very ironic…

Scabbard withdrew his hands from his coat and withdrew two Chinese falchions, one black, one white, and began to run his body through his standard kata. These were among the few blades that he possessed that he did not create himself or use in battle. In fact, the man treasured the blades amongst his most prized possessions and very rarely took them out…

The original Kanshō and Bakuya. The married blades that were frequently faked by his best friend and rival in weapon creation…

The man smirked as he lightly tossed the blades in each hand and caught them lightly without any trouble before cocking back his right arm. "Let's see if I can still do this right…" He mused before he threw the white blade, making it spin through the air in a wide arc…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Iruka shifted nervously in his seat as he watched the children chatter happily in their chairs in front of him. There were some clan children in the room, as there always were. A couple of Inuzuka from the red triangles on their faces, too young to have their partner hounds. From what he remembered, Kiba didn't get Akamaru until halfway through his second year.

An Akimichi boy sat near the back of the room quietly. The kid probably was made fun of due to his size; he made a mental note to work on the boy's self-confidence and make sure he wasn't excluded. Unfortunately, there weren't any Yamanaka or Nara in the class for the kid to easily make friends with. No Aburame either, from the looks of things.

However, in their place was the grandson of the Third Hokage, talking nonstop to his friends Moegi, Udon, and of all people Hanabi Hyūga, who, while not yelling or talking as much as everyone else, was certainly showing more emotion than the standard Main house… rather, ex-Main house Hyūga would.

While those thoughts did pass through Iruka's mind, one subject claimed all of his conscious attention: where the hell was Naruto? The boy was, for whatever incredibly insane reason the Hokage had come up with while probably drunk, supposed to help him teach these kids how to become shinobi for half a year. While the man was glad to be in contact with his favorite student again and was proud of his promotion… he would be lying if he didn't say he was scared shitless of how the oncoming classes could turn out. The blonde was chaos incarnate in the classroom. Even after his recovery after taking the graduation exam for the second time, the boy would not stay still and played pranks in class every week or so, and the only reason THAT was the case was because he had found new targets outside of the classroom to occupy his attention with.

Despite the boy's disregard for the rules, the teacher would have expected him to at least show up on time. He seemed pretty eager to teach the kids when he came to the mandatory academy teaching seminar that was held before the start of every year of the academy… well, he'd seemed eager for the first hour, at least.

Glancing at the clock, the man determined that he might as well start off the class now and chew out Naruto as soon as the kids leave. Sighing out loud, the man gathered his papers, placed them on his desk neatly, and stood up. "Good morning, class…" He said in a clear voice. Sticking to character, none of the kids heard him, or pretended not to hear him. "Class…" He increased the volume of his greeting, but to no avail, as his presence seemed to be ignored.

Sighing again, the man took a meter stick out 0f the room's closet and slapped it hard against the blackboard, creating a series of cracks that immediately shut all the kids up. They quickly turned them to the teacher, who had casually leaned the stick against the wall. By union rules, the Giant Head of DOOM (™) wasn't to be used on anyone under their third year due to the fear that it may cause unnecessary trauma and fear to the students.

"Good morning, class." Iruka smiled happily, not at all indicating that he had just assaulted the blackboard with a stick. "Welcome to the first day of your second year at the shinobi academy. I am your teacher, Iruka Umino, and…"

"And I AM…!" Roared a voice from outside the window, catching everyone's attention as a black blur flew through the thankfully open window and crashed into the other side of the room with a dull thud before collapsing onto the ground, making everyone in the room wince. "In a great deal of pain… owwww…" Groaned a voice from inside the large black cloth pile now laying on the floor, causing everyone to sweatdrop.

"Not so easy, is it brat?" Laughed a sadistic female voice from outside the room. "Looks like I won the bet after all, eh? You're paying for my dango tonight!"

"Damn you, Anko…" Grunted Naruto as he untangled himself from the cloth and stumbled to the middle of the room, his head bleeding enough so that half his face was covered in red. "As I was saying… I'm Naruto Uzumaki… and I am going to be your assistant teacher for the next semester… and slightly delirious for the next hour. Lesson 1: how do you treat a concussion? Go!"

Iruka groaned and facepalmed. He really should have expected something like this by now. "You waited outside the entire time for me to start class to do this?"

"Perhaps!" The boy shouted in the opposite direction of the man. "I'm not quite sure at the moment, as my head is leaking!"

"Coooooool!" Konohamaru shouted excitedly, being the first to get out of his shock of what just happened. "Boss is gonna be our teacher! This year's gonna be awesome!"

"Indeed it will, small talking potato… indeed it will…" The blonde grinned in a daze before collapsing on the ground unconscious, causing several of the young girls in the room to scream in shock.

"Naruto, we are going to have a long talk about this later." Iruka groaned as he dragged the boy's body behind his desk. "Kids! Please calm down. No, he isn't dead. Trust me, his head is far too hard for him to die from something like this…" It took another 15 minutes for the unfortunate man to calm the children down.

"Hey! I remember him!" Pointed out one of the civilian born kids. "My parents told me to stay away from him. That he does bad things!"

"Oh yeah! My dad said something like that too!" Spoke out another, causing Iruka to wince mentally, especially since he was fairly certain the blonde could hear everything that they were saying.

"That's enough!" Iruka rose his voice to a level that instantly shut up all the children in the room. "As shinobi, we have all done things that we are not proud of doing! I myself have done things on missions that have resulted in people getting hurt and killed! To point out one of us as a bad person is pointless." He glared at everyone in the room, and many of the children in there were frozen in their seats and nervously staring at their scary new teacher. Sighing to himself, the chūnin relaxed again. "Like it or not, Naruto… sensei… will be helping us out throughout the year, so I expect you to show him the same respect you show me." He gave them all a friendly smile. "Now, while the class may have started a bit oddly, we still have a schedule to keep. Let's start off with names…"

An hour and a half later, all the introductions had been done, and Iruka had just started to go over the basics of what the children were going to cover the oncoming year when Naruto came to. "Ugh… what hit me?" The blonde groaned as he grabbed his head and picked himself up.

"The wall did, Naruto… with the force of your entire body behind it." Iruka deadpanned.

"Yeah… that feels about right…" The blonde grunted as he sat on Iruka's chair and took out a bottle of water. "Did I miss much, Iruka-sensei?"

"Only introductions." The man sighed. "We can do yours now if you want."

"As long as no one yells. I have a massive headache…" The boy grunted and put down his water. "So, if Iruka-sensei hasn't told you guys already, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. I'm a chūnin like Iruka-sensei, 13 years old, I like pulling pranks, ramen, and the occasional joke. I don't like waiting for ramen and guys who judge people without knowing them first. My dream is to become the Hokage… although my goal right now is to get rid myself of this killer headache."

Iruka smiled. It seemed as if the blonde had matured a small amount since the last time he saw the boy. "Are there any questions for Naruto-sensei before we go on?" He asked, and as expected, there were a lot of hands raised. He pointed to a random boy in the class. "Yes, you."

"Are you really the same rank as Iruka-sensei? You're not that much older than we are." The brown haired boy asked curiously.

"Naruto-sensei was in the recent Chūnin Exams when Oto attacked." Iruka stated knowingly. "Actually, it hasn't been that much longer than a year since he graduated from the academy." Many of the kids in the room made sounds of awe and or skepticism at this statement as they looked at the dizzy blonde. "Next question…" Iruka asked before pointing to a young girl. "Yes, you."

"Since he's the same rank as you, does that mean that Naruto-sensei is as strong as you are, Iruka-sensei?" The girl asked curiously.

Naruto picked his head up and looked at the class with dull eyes. "It's kind of hard to answer that question… um… small person."

"Akane…" The girl grumbled.

"Yeah, that. The thing is, we're shinobi. Even if one of us is technically stronger than the other, it doesn't mean that the results of us fighting would always be the same. The weaker fighter might lure the stronger one into a trap or use some special technique to turn the fight in his or her favor. The bottom line is, when a fight starts, anyone can kill anyone. It's all just a matter of what happens and how careful the fighters are… so technically, if grandma Tsunade was REALLY drunk and one of you guys caught her off guard with a kunai, congratulations, you just killed the Hokage… though speaking from personal experience, I wouldn't recommend actually trying to do that to the old hag. It won't work." The children's eyes never left the blonde as he lectured them on the subject.

Iruka smiled proudly at the boy. Perhaps this year wouldn't be as bad as he thought…

"But statistically… yeah, I could take down Iruka-sensei any day of the week." The blonde smirked before resting his head on the table again, causing everyone else in the room to sweatdrop.

"We'll have a talk about that later as well…" The eldest person in the room laughed falsely while twitching an eyebrow. "Last question for Naruto-sensei?" The blonde picked his head up again and began to drink some water. "Yes, Hanabi?" The man pointed out the Hyūga.

"Naruto-sensei. Are you my sister's boyfriend?" The girl asked curiously.

The boy's immediate response was to spray out all the water that he was in the process of drinking all over the room. Afterwards, he began to cough heavily and collapsed onto the floor. Outside, the children could hear the hysterical laughter of a woman and a man somewhere nearby.

"Naruto! Deep breaths!" Iruka yelled as he hit the boy on the back and handed him the bottle of water again. It took a few minutes for the blonde to gain control of his lungs before he could stand back up again.

"Care to… care to repeat the question, please?" The boy wheezed heavily.

"I was wondering if you were dating my sister." Hanabi repeated. "She's always happy after she trains with you and doesn't like it when people say bad things about you. Also, she sometimes says your name in her sleep…"

The blonde sweat profusely and blushed slightly. ' _LOG damn it! I knew that was going to come back to bite me in the ass the moment I heard her sleep talk, but NOOO, I find it cute and hilarious at the same time!'_ "Ah… is that so?" He laughed nervously. "Well… to answer your question Hanabi, no I'm not publicly dating your sister… although maybe I should consider it, now that you've brought it up… she is pretty cute…"

Hanabi frowned. ' _He's not saying any flat out lies… but he doesn't seem to be telling the truth, either. It seems like that story everyone back home was telling me about sister's diary might be true after all.'_

 _'Way to dodge the bullet there, Naruto…'_ Iruka mentally laughed seeing what the blonde had done, though he did make a mental note to ask him about it. "Okay, class! Enough questions for Naruto-sensei. Let's get back to what we were talking about before. Overall goals and graduation requirements…" Naruto sighed, knowing exactly what was about to be announced. Honestly, he wished that the people in charge would have done this before, but then odds were likely no one would have helped him out anyways. "There are some small changes being done to the list of things needed to graduate from the academy due to some issues that we took notice of about a year ago…"

"Exhibit A… right here…" Naruto pointed to himself.

Iruka sweatdropped. "Um right. So what my friend here means is that while in order to graduate you do need to pass a physical conditioning standard, show proficient knowledge of basic shinobi conduct and skills, and prove that you are able to perform the standard academy ninjutsu. You can, if you want and are able to, replace any of the academy ninjutsu with another ninjutsu of that level or higher… aside from the replacement technique, which is required."

"Why the changes, Iruka-sensei?" Asked an Inuzuka. "I mean, aren't the academy standard ninjutsu supposed to be easier than other ninjutsu?"

Iruka laughed and scratched his cheek. "Well, for most kids your age, that's true, but for others… well, they might have conditions that would make things a lot harder for them to perform one or two of the techniques we normally give out." He pointed to Naruto. "Naruto-sensei over here, for example, naturally has exceptionally large chakra reserves. They are so large, in fact, that it messes with his chakra control, so in order for him to be able to perform the clone technique, he would need an extremely high level of chakra control…"

"I still can't make a normal clone for the life of me." The blonde shrugged, making the ram sign and creating a half dead copy of himself that acted as if the air around it was poison. "Behold! I is a zombie!"

"At least it wasn't dead when the smoke disappeared this time." Iruka snorted as the copy disappeared. "As you can see, your teacher's… control difficulties prevent him from doing ninjutsu that require extreme levels of chakra control or very small amounts of chakra, so odds are likely that he will never go down the path of a shinobi medic or become a genjutsu expert…"

"However, since I have ridiculously huge reserves, I can make shadow clones, which are way more awesome than normal clones and I can put in as much chakra into them as I want." Naruto smirked as he made the cross seal and made a few solid copies of himself, much to the shock of the class. "These bad boys are as solid as I am. They can punch, kick, do jutsu, and whatever they learn goes back to me when they dispel…"

"Aww, you're so sweet." Flirted one of the clones as they all mock blushed… only for the one closest to Naruto to get a kunai in the chest, dispelling it instantly and shocking the kids.

"The only problem is that like normal clones they pretty much go away after one good hit, two or three max if I mold my chakra in the right way." The blonde yawned as he dispelled the rest of the clones. "Still… when you can make over a hundred of those suckers and not break a sweat, you shouldn't really complain much."

"A hundred?" Konohamaru asked skeptically. "Why are you selling yourself short, boss? I've seen you fill an entire training ground with those things!"

The jinchūriki rolled his eyes as the children there looked at him in awe. "Because Konohamaru, I didn't want to overdo it. If you blurt out to the class what I do during training again, I'll make sure that you get a special session with Ero-nii with extra cows."

"I'll be good…" The Sarutobi whimpered as he and his friends, minus Hanabi, shrunk deeply into their chairs in fear while all the other children looked at them confusedly.

"The point of the demonstration…" Iruka sighed. "Is that if we didn't change the rules when we did, Naruto here would not have become a shinobi at all, despite his impressive skill, all because he couldn't perform a ninjutsu that, while useful, is not used frequently in the field. In fact, the only one of the academy ninjutsu that is often used in battle these days is the replacement technique. The others merely serve as a starting point for you to relate to and learn from by the time you are introduced to other techniques…"

"Hey. I still use the transformation technique a lot in my fights. It's useful as hell. Use a clone or a few dozen to distract the guy while you hide yourself, then blindside him when they are trying to look for you." Naruto grunted, interrupting the man's lecture. "Or in the case where I'm fighting a pervert…"

"Not everyone can make dozens of clones at once to hide themselves with, Naruto." Iruka deadpanned, quickly interrupting the boy so he wouldn't give the kids too much information. "I'm speaking practically…"

"Yeah. **P** **ractically,** when you are fighting against a pervert, you should…" Naruto countered defiantly.

And so the day progressed in a similar manner. Iruka lectured, Naruto added his own input on the subject (There was one discussion in particular about the logistics and efficiency of shoving an exploding kunai up an opponent's ass), and the kids for the most part stayed quiet and learned in a class that wasn't as boring as they were used to. Naruto played a few games with the kids during their recess and used his clones to talk to each one of them simultaneously so that he could learn more about them. Of course, he had some trouble trying to spend time with each kid himself since Konohamaru was practically fused to his leg, but that was expected. Then came the end of class…

"Oi guys, before you all leave I wanna do a quick game with you…" Naruto spoke up right before Iruka finished class for the day, leaning back on his chair and his feet resting on Iruka's desk. "Don't worry, it'll take 5 minutes tops. Just get out of your seats and get down here."

"What kind of game is this?" Hanabi asked curiously as she walked down the stairs to the front of the room.

"You'll see…" The boy grinned, getting a concerned look from Iruka.

"Naruto, some of the parents are already here. Please don't do something reckless…" He whispered to the blonde.

"All right brats. Quick question!" Naruto spoke up, seemingly ignoring his elder. "How many chairs are there in this room?"

"Huh?" Was the collective response of the students as they looked at the boy in a confused manner before some went to work. "Um… there's 31 chairs in this room, including yours, Naruto-sensei…" Udon sniffed.

"Really?" The blonde asked in an amused tone. "Does anyone else have a different answer?"

A murmur of no's echoed throughout the room before Konohamaru raised his voice in surprise. "Ahhh! No way!" He yelled in surprise and turned to his idol. "You mean the entire time we were…?"

Hanabi frowned as she looked at the Sarutobi curiously. The boy had seen something that she didn't? That was ridiculous! There were clearly 30 chairs in front of her for the class, somewhat odd chairs considering there was a bit of orange on the metal legs but… wait… he couldn't have possibly…

Naruto smirked. "Oh? You managed to catch onto it already? Not bad, Konohamaru. So can you tell me how many chairs are in the room?"

The boy in the scarf smiled confidently and pointed at the elder boy. "I should have expected something like this from you, boss! There's only one chair in the room! The one you're sitting in!"

"Huh?" Blinked all the kids in the room before the area where they were sitting exploded into a cloud of smoke and revealed 30 clones of Naruto standing each where there once was a chair, each holding up a kunai.

"Ever since you sat down today in class, you have all been at my mercy without even knowing it." The blonde lectured to the shocked children and Iruka. "I know a technique that can cause my clones to go off like a high quality exploding tag, so I could have very easily killed you all without giving you any signs otherwise." He let his words sink in for a few seconds.

"As shinobi, you are expected to be aware of your surroundings at all times, even when the area you are in is supposed to be safe. When I found that most training exercises for this are a bit extreme for kids your age, I decided to make a game out of it instead. Every week, I will hide a few of my clones in the classroom or somewhere else in the academy that the class frequently uses… minus the bathrooms and changing rooms for obvious reasons. Your job is to locate my hidden clones as discretely as possible without letting your other classmates know and tell me where you think they are. You have 3 guesses per week, and you get 1 point per correct guess. Normally I can transform perfectly into whatever I want, but for this, I'll make them a tad off to give you guys hints. By the end of the semester, the person with the most number of points will learn something really cool from me…" He smirked as he saw stars in all the kid's eyes, canceling out the clones that were disguised as chairs.

"The rest of the rules are simple. You can only use your normal senses to look for the clones. No bloodline limits or clan tracking skills are allowed. I want everyone to have an even shot at this." The Inuzuka children and Hanabi deflated at this statement. "Also, you are not allowed to force your classmates to tell you where they think the clones might be hidden. This is a test to increase your awareness to your surroundings, not rely on others. Other than that… so long as you don't trash the building, go nuts. And with that…"

The blonde sitting in the chair disappeared in a cloud of smoke. "Class is dismissed…" His bodiless voice echoed through the room.

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"Troublesome…" Sighed Shikamaru as he rested on the usual hill next to Chōji.

"You sure are popular, Shikamaru." Chōji sniggered as he watched another disappointed kunoichi walk away. "That was the third girl that asked you out today. They really must have liked your fight with that Gaara guy…"

The Nara rolled his eyes. Ever since things calmed down and people remembered about the Chūnin Exam fights, he had been getting more attention that he preferred from all sorts of crowds. Apparently people had been calling him the Black Deer of Konoha, no doubt a play on the term black sheep and his last name, or it was based off of his Lunar Points technique. It had long made him wish that he had given up against Gaara at the beginning of his match, stalling the invasion be damned. The expectations that everyone had for him this time around were nearly double of his previous lifetime… and he hated it. "Don't remind me, Chōji. Otherwise, I might actually start to consider getting a girlfriend…"

Chōji snorted, knowing full well of his best friend's relationship with the blonde from Suna. They weren't a couple by standard means, but the letters they sent to each other definitely indicated that the two got along better than most people would. "You wouldn't happen to think about writing that to your pen pal would you?" He joked.

Shikamaru smirked at his friend. Ever since the pudgy boy had been promoted, he had gotten a huge confidence boost and it showed. "Not on your life, Chōji. Women are troublesome enough as it is… how you can stand being around Ino for so long is beyond me…"

"You know, I could just tell her you said that…" Chōji laughed. "… but then I would be stuck choosing sides. Hers, safe, and guilty, or yours, in pain, and laughing, and no girlfriend."

"Like I said, women are troublesome." The Nara sighed. "Too bad they aren't at the top of the list of most annoying things…"

"If only." Chōji sighed, knowing that his buddy was talking about their new responsibilities as chūnin, which frankly sucked with all the extra work they had to do now. "Didn't you get a new mission today?"

"Mmm." The time traveler yawned. "Gotta get a message to Suna that can't be trusted to birds, then bring the reply back. It's supposed to take a few weeks to get it all over with, apparently. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"That sounds pretty interesting." Chōji mused. "Who knows… you might actually get a tan while you're out there…"

"Ha ha. And here I was thinking about getting you some snacks that are only sold in Suna as a return gift…" The Nara deadpanned.

"Hey, Temari's probably gonna kill you if you come over and you don't have a gift for her. I can ask Ino for a favor and get you some flowers for her for free…" Chōji responded quickly, knowing full well that Suna had some awesome snacks and spices, being in possession of one of the major trade routes to the west.

"Honestly… sometimes I wonder who would win for control over your heart, food or Ino…" Shikamaru sighed, briefly remembering a moment in his past life where the two had just hooked up together before the final battle against Madara. Ino had held his private stash of chips hostage until he picked between the two. The tubby teen had eventually picked Ino, but only after he put up a rather comical show where he obviously was waging war in his own mind.

"Shikamaru. You're needed back home." Called out a deep and tired voice from nearby. The boys didn't need to turn around to tell that it was Shikamaru's dad talking to him. "You have to pack for that mission of yours. Your mom says so. Also, some of our clan members are having trouble learning some things from that scroll the Ōgakari woman gave us."

 _'Troublesome woman is a pain in my ass even when she isn't even in the village.'_ "Fine…" The younger Nara sighed as he picked himself up. "As long as mom isn't pissed at me for anything, I guess I'll go back… honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than going back to a home when that woman is pissed off…"

Chōji paused for a moment. "What about a home where she, Ino, and Temari are all inside and pissed off at you?" He asked curiously.

Shikamaru froze in his tracks and began to sweat profusely. "Chōji… If that ever was the case, I want you to kill me without any hesitation. It would be one of the biggest favors you could ever do for me…"

"Temari?" Shikaku mused with a small grin as he walked to the pair. "Isn't that the name of that girl you've been writing to lately?" The scarred man bent down next to Chōji. "She's high strung like my wife, isn't she?"

Chōji couldn't say anything as he burst out laughing, confirming the father's suspicions.

"Troublesome traitor…" Grunted Shikamaru as he quickly started walking home in hopes that he could finish packing and leave home before his father told his mom what he had just found out.

"Well, isn't that interesting…" Shikaku mused. "And here I thought you weren't going to start dating until after you were done with puberty…"

The clan leader was so amused that he didn't see a green haired girl with a red scroll tied on her back walk past the park on her way to the Hokage's office…

o. o. o.

Outside of Konoha:

"Tenten. Is there something wrong?" Lee asked his teammate curiously as they returned from their mission. It was a brief overnight guard mission on a lord's summer compound while they hosted a party, so nothing much happened other than the fact that the team, in addition to their payment, got a few days to rest there for free so long as they didn't break anything. "You've been rather quiet lately. Even while most of us were at the pool of our youthful client, you spent most of your time meditating for long periods of time. This is most unlike you, as you love swimming."

The girl with brown hair deadpanned. "Oh? I'm surprised you noticed, Lee. I thought you were only occupied with staring at Kin in her bathing suit when we were at the pool."

The spandex boy blushed and looked away embarrassed for good reason. The Oto-turned-Konoha kunoichi had revealed that she was an early bloomer during their days off, and also had different standards of modesty compared to other women, as the bathing suit she had chosen revealed more skin than most girls their age would have preferred.

"Oi! I'll have you know that my choice in swimwear was modest compared to what some of those sluts in Oto used to wear! Hell, a lot of the civilian girls my age would swim in the local rivers completely naked!" Kin protested defiantly with a blush on her face. "Besides, my suit was NOTHING compared to the horrors that Sensei wore!"

"Lee is correct, Tenten." Gai spoke up, desperately attempting to change the topic of conversation again so to not embarrass himself. "You have been rather quiet since the mission began. Are you unwell? Something is clearly affecting your youthfulness…"

Tenten sighed. "Gai-sensei, I know you're worried about me, but nothing's wrong. I was simply… training…"

The rest of the team's eyebrows rose. "Training?" Lee asked curiously. "That is most unlike you, Tenten. Normally, you are the first one on the team to jump at a chance to take a break… before Kin came."

"What part of 'I do not train every second I am awake' don't you understand, spandex boy?" Kin yelled angrily.

"Still… all you were doing was meditating. You weren't even molding your chakra from what I could tell." Gai stated curiously. "What sort of training was it?"

Tenten sighed and stopped on a branch. "Fine, I'll show you, but don't expect for me to get this right on my first try. I can only get this down one time out of five right now…" She closed her eyes and focused on an image in her mind, holding her right hand out with an open hand and her left hand in front of her face in the half ram seal.

Lee looked at his teammate curiously. "What is she doing?" He mused out loud.

Kin raised an eyebrow. "Oh… she's trying to do that again…"

"… I am the bone of my sword…" The weapons mistress whispered out loud, hearing the sound of a large hammer crash onto molten metal as a burst of light flashed in her open hand. Less than a second later, Gai's team stared dumbfounded at the beautiful decorated katana being held in Tenten's outstretched arm.

"That's… not the same sword you shot out of your bow with…" Kin stated in a confused tone.

"Amazing…" Gai mused. "Tenten… you mean to tell us you can summon weapons without seals?"

Tenten shook her head. "No, Sensei. Not summon, but fake. This is a copy of one of the swords dad keeps in the back for high paying customers that I just made using only my chakra." She gave the blade a few test swings. "It's not as good as the original, but it can cut just as well as any blade and it can take quite a few hits before it breaks… it will just disappear on its own regardless… but it's okay if it does, because when I master this power, I can just make another one…"

"Wait… Kin said that you have done this before and that the sword was different." Lee said slowly. "Does that mean that you can copy any sword you want?"

Tenten smiled and nodded. "Yeah. Any sword I have ever seen in my life, powers and all... though according to Scabbard-sensei, different weapons take up different amounts of chakra, so I don't think I would be able to copy a legendary sword just yet. Remember yesterday morning when half the water in the pool disappeared? That was me testing out my copy of Zabuza-sensei's Kubikiri Hōchō… that one took a lot of chakra for me to make."

Gai's eyes widened considerably when he heard this. Tenten's ability would have made her a dangerous person on the battlefield if it was only focused on making normal weapons … but copying any weapon she wanted? She could easily become a legend in her own right if she mastered such an ability, especially since she had proven to be exceptionally skilled in all forms of weapon based combat… "Tenten… is this by chance a new bloodline?" Gai asked carefully, knowing the benefits and repercussions if it was. Out of the corner of his eyes, the jōnin spied Lee tense up slightly.

The girl shook her head. "No, Sensei. It's really complicated, but the dumbed down version is that it's like a combination of my hidden talents and a really complicated and strong seal that Scabbard-sensei put on me. Even if someone else had the seal put on them, if they weren't like me… the seal would kill them."

Gai mentally relaxed. Having one kid that was given an artificial bloodline was tough enough on his nerves. Having another would drive him up the wall, and it would only be a matter of time before he accidentally blabbed to someone about it. "I see… it would be best if you did not tell anyone about this youthful power of yours, Tenten. Even if you explained it, some people would still go after you to try and unlock its secrets for themselves…"

"Heh. The guys from Kiri would kill to have you in their village." Kin smirked. "Having someone recreate any sword they want? All of the past Seven Swordsmen must be rolling in their graves right now…"

Tenten laughed. "Nah, they did that when I first got my hands on Zabuza-sensei's sword and had some private time with it…"

o. o. o.

In Konoha:

A certain ex-Kiri shinobi paused in the middle of his kata and looked at his sword. "I don't know why, but I suddenly have the urge to boil you in oil and sterilize you thoroughly, crying and apologizing profusely the entire time… odd…"

"Zabuza-sama, are you talking to your Kubikiri Hōchō again?" Haku asked tiredly as she walked by. "How many times have I told you to stop that? People already think poorly enough of you already with that story about you killing that group of kids… and all the witnesses of Scabbard-san bossing you around like a fresh genin… and the time…"

o. o. o.

Near the local Konoha hot springs:

Naruto wept as he hid in a tree with Ghost near one of the public bathing areas. They weren't close enough to see anything, but they certainly were close enough to 'see' everything with their Seventh Sense. "Ero-nii. I thought you promised you wouldn't force me to train via public humiliation anymore…" The blonde moaned in defeat.

Ghost smirked. "No. I promised you that I wouldn't force you to steal underwear as training anymore. The day I stop embarrassing you on purpose is the day I give up acting like an ass for good."

"Oh god… my life is gonna suck…" The blonde wept and curled into a ball before he got whacked upside the head by the immortal.

"Silence, Cornholio! We have training to be donez." Ghost chided before relaxing in his seat again and crossing his arms. "I heard you managed to drop that chick with the flying armor like a rock back in the Land of Snow… nice." He sniggered before sighing. "But you yourself are still having trouble getting flying down, right?"

The blonde pouted. "It's hard! With dashing, I only have to freeze the air around me for a moment, but with flying, I have to keep it relatively still and under my control the entire time. It's too much for me…"

Ghost nodded, remembering his first few attempts at flying using only his wind manipulation… and then his attempts at flying using his time-space abilities. Both were incredibly painful. "I had hoped you would have gotten it down already with your clones, but I see that you are having the same kind of trouble that I had when I was still figuring it out." The blind man mused. "Okay then. It's all right. That's why we're here." He clapped his hands together and rubbed them. "Okay brat, pop quiz. Name 3 powers I showed you that we could mimic using our Seventh Sense."

Naruto blinked before scrunching up his face as he tried to remember. "Um. You mean those powers that were not very efficient chakra-wise, but were still cool looking and useful in specific conditions, right? Okay. We could fake fire style by creating a lot of friction in the air and supplying it with the right gasses. We could fake lighting style by spinning and rubbing the air to create static electricity… and you could um… adjust the air so that sounds could change and do stuff…"

Ghost nodded. "Yes, but the one I wanted you to remember was faking telekinetic powers. You know, moving stuff with your mind… like so…"

Naruto's right arm suddenly jolted and slapped the blonde in his face. "Ow! What the hell?" The boy focused on his arm and noticed a small ring of air around his wrist that was not moving. In a way, it reminded him of a shackle or some kind of invisible bracelet.

"By controlling the air around an object firmly, you can guide where the surrounded object goes, much like grabbing something with your hand and moving it." The blind man smirked as he mentally reached out and caused a few small stones to rise up off the ground and hover between the two before they started to weave around themselves in a complex pattern. "Normally, gasses are always in constant motion, always seeking the path of least resistance and following it." The stones stopped moving and lined up. "With our power, we can remove that luxury from the gas and keep it in place." The outer stones moved while the center one stayed in place before the outside rocked pinched the inner one and moved it in various directions. "Using our power, we simply make the air harder to shift around. Likewise, we can wrap the gas around an object of our choice and move it via said element. Given enough chakra or skill, said gas can be just as impenetrable as a steel wall." He let go of the rocks and watched them drop to the ground. "I'll give you another example. Wave your arm through the air and try to remember how much resistance it's giving you. Don't worry, it's sorry for what it did to you a few minutes ago. It loves you very much…"

"Oh shut up already." Naruto rolled his eyes and swung his right arm through the air, feeling the streams of gas pass through his fingers. "There I did it. Now what?"

The immortal smirked. "Do it again. Keep on waving your arm and tell me when you have a good idea what I'm trying to point out to you."

"Fine, but I swear, if you're recording this, I'll tell Anko and Hana what really happened that night two weeks ago…" The blonde grunted as he waved his right arm constantly in the air. After the third wave, the boy noticed something was off. It was starting to get harder to move his arm, almost as if he was moving his limb through something thicker and harder to move than mere gas. Reaching out with all his senses, he could tell that the air only around his arm was slowing down, becoming less mobile and hence making it harder to move his arm through. By his 15th wave, he was having trouble moving his arm at all. The air around his arm was almost completely immobile, and through it, said arm. "You know, you could have just done this earlier instead of forcing me to hit myself in the face…" The boy frowned at his teacher.

Moments later, the boy was crouched down on the ground due to the fact that the man had decided to use the boy's arm to hit another part of his body. One further south…

"True, but I wouldn't nearly be as amused as I am right now if I didn't." Sniggered Ghost.

"God I… hate you…" The blonde wheezed as he attempted to get his breathing under control.

"Please. If I remember correctly, you practically euthanized me with all the times you hit me there when I first got here." Ghost muttered out loud and pouted.

Several minutes and insults later…

"Okay. Back to the training." The blind man grunted, rubbing his stomach where the blonde had hit him hard. "You probably get what the general idea of the physical control of the gas under your control is, so now I'm gonna show you an extreme version of this control. This is why I brought you here…"

"God damn it." Naruto grunted as both males turned their attention to the girls' side of the baths. "I knew you were going to do something perverted…"

"Shut up and focus." Ghost sighed, raising his hands to chest level and cracked his knuckles expertly. "Now, let's see… today's target is… ah. Perfect. Far corner. The chick lying by the edge of the springs with the huge rack and the long hair." He sniggered. "Pay attention to how I manipulate the air…"

"You just can't find enough ways to scar me for life and get me potentially arrested, can you?" The blonde wept as he focused his senses to the area around the woman, who was lying on her stomach and wrapped in a towel, revealing that she had a very attractive form. Almost immediately, he could feel his teacher's presence control the air, freeze it in certain areas, and push down lightly on her back. The woman stirred a small amount but didn't move from her spot. The air under the pervert's control continued its work, pressing down slightly more on the woman's back and in more areas too, shifting along the skin and constantly applying pressure in very sensitive areas… "No fucking way…" Naruto gaped, recognizing the spots the air was focusing on. "You're giving her a massage via controlled air?"

"Yep." The pervert grinned as his hands made subtle gestures. "Absolute control is needed for something like this, just like in all massages. Ya gotta know exactly what you're doing here. Too much and you cause discomfort, too little and you won't get a response… only the difficulty is on a much higher level, 'cause I'm using air instead of my hands. A lot of guess work is needed for something like this." The two males paused as a clear moan of ecstasy was heard from the baths. "… And I do so love getting responses. Heheheh…"

"… This settles it… you are without a doubt the biggest pervert in this universe and any other one that exists." Naruto grunted, completely unable to take his attention away from Ghost's latest practicing dummy.

"Nah. I'm up there, but the biggest perverts out there are those sad guys that can't control themselves and get boners in public, the obsessive freaks that stalk the objects of their desire for all their lives… and tentacle monsters. I'm happy with my current level, thank you very much." The immortal corrected as he made a made a slight wave with one of his hands, forcing some air under his control to spank the woman, causing her to squeal again. "God, I love it when they squirm…"

Naruto facepalmed. "Okay. I know you're supposed to be a master of stealth, but please tell me you've been caught and arrested before. Otherwise, I have little hope for the future of mankind…"

"102 times, but the funny thing was that about a third of them were false accusations. Ladies want me so bad, they'll do anything to claim that I've been with them. Heheheh…" The immortal grinned with no remorse whatsoever. "Don't think for one second that I do this regularly, though. This is actually really hard to do and it's a good way to practice control… plus, it's funny, 'cause sometimes the girls freak out and cause a mass panic, making them run out of the baths in only their towels because they think the bath is haunted by the spirit of a masseuse. Sometimes I add in my voice to make it more believable." He started swaying back and forth and spoke in a deep voice. "Ooooh. I am a dead guuuuuy! Let me rub your back and booobiiiieeeesss! F cuuuuuup. Very niiiiiiiiccccceeee… hold on a second I think I felt a luuuuuummmmp… false alaaaaarm, it was just your niiiiiiipleeeees. My baaaaaaad…"

The blonde responded by banging his head against the branch he was standing on. "Why? Why? Why? Why…"

"Because horrible things are funny." The blind man answered as he continued to work his magic.

Naruto spoke up again after a few more minutes of trying to forget what he just learned. "I know this is supposed to be both entertaining and training, but please don't tell me that you expect me to do this too. I have a girlfriend who I don't want to anger at all if you don't remember…"

Ghost snorted. "Yeah, right. You'd end up mangling the poor girl you chose to give a rub right now. I'm just doing this to give you an idea of what you could be capable of doing in a few years. I'm showing you that with enough practice, you can make your hands appear anywhere within your range at will, and use the air around your opponents to screw with their movements…" He reached into a pocket and tossed the boy a scroll. "That has a technique I made that uses the principle of restricting air movement to condense the air around them to the point that they're wading through mud. Wind Style: Swamp of the Heavens. Fun thing is that it doesn't really take that much chakra to use. Great for guys that are precisionist fighters, because they normally don't have that much stamina, but not that effective against huge guys like Kisame or Gai."

"I was hoping you would give me the wind dragon bullet technique, but this works too…" The boy mused. "Not really an original name though, is it?" Naruto deadpanned as he looked at the contents of the scroll.

"True, but it will fuck up almost any opponent you have in the future. They'll think it's a genjutsu and so long as they're still in range of you, their movements will take up more energy." Ghost shrugged as he made a squeezing gesture, causing another squeak to come from the baths. "Hmm… they have the volume, but they're already starting to sag… she obviously doesn't wear supporting undergarments frequently… so irresponsible…" He pondered. "Anyways, practice moving, controlling, and grabbing things with your Seventh Sense first before you try out the technique or flying again, otherwise you'll get shitty results. By the time you can move stuff the size of your body comfortably in the air, you're ready to use both of them. Just remember that you have to be careful holding delicate items or they'll break, and all you have to do to make yourself fly is to freeze the air you control to move yourself… preferably in areas that you aren't about to fly in."

Naruto deadpanned as Ghost made a slapping motion, causing the target of the day to scream shrilly. "You know, Anko and Hana would kill you if they found out about this…"

"Yes… yes they would…" The man replied as he jumped down from the tree. "Which is why if you tell them, I'll drop you in the kunoichi springs butt naked with studded double ended dildos super glued to your hands." He paused, as did Naruto. "Speaking of divine female retribution, I do believe the kunoichi at the bath are rushing out to look for us since I may have overdone it a bit. Make haste, minion, for our manhoods depend on it!"

"For once, can we do something that doesn't result in almost getting us castrated?" Yelled the blonde as the two ran away from the area.

"What? And sacrifice potential male bonding possibilities? You're too cold!" Ghost gasped. "It must be that dreadful teenage rebellion phase you're going through…"

"I will kill you in your sleep!"

o. o. o.

Tsunade's office:

"So Fū, now that those annoying pleasantries are done with, do you have anything you want to check out now that you're here at Konoha?" Tsunade asked with a smirk. The seals in the room were active and she had kicked out the ANBU and Fū's guard under the pretense that they were having a private girl talk. "Normally, I would suggest going to the bath houses, but Jiraiya is supposed to be back in town soon, so I can't promise you any privacy…"

Fū's demeanor darkened in front of the blonde woman, complete with a dark cloud over her head and rain. "I doubt anyone would want to look at me… compared to the other women in this village, I might as well go around telling people I'm a guy…"

"Y-You don't have to go that far. I was a late bloomer myself…" Tsunade laughed nervously before sobering a bit. "I actually think it would be a good idea to visit the Sarutobi residence and thank my teacher for giving you this opportunity. It's only polite that you do. Also, there's a good chance that you might meet up with the emissary from Iwa as well…"

Fū's depression disappeared and her eyes flashed. "So that drunk is here already? That was fast. I would have thought that Iwa would have been as much of a pain as my village was at keeping their jinchūriki."

Tsunade smirked. "Oh, they were, but luckily, the Tsuchikage claims to be too old to be holding any grudges now and happens to be an acquaintance with Sarutobi-sensei, so he managed to push his proposal through pretty quickly. If there's one thing I've learned about old geezers like those two, it's that they're stubborn as mules and can get what they want more ways than you can count."

"Tell me about it." Fū muttered as she recalled some of the elders back at her home. "Well, I gotta go soon, or my babysitters will start thinking I'm divulging information about our village…" She rolled her eyes. "Pricks. I swear, half the time, they look like they're expecting me to go berserk on them or something."

"You'd get along perfectly with Anko." Tsunade sniggered as she undid the seals to the room. "You have a map of the village and I've circled the location of your apartment. Try not to draw any attention to yourself… we have enough chaos in this village as it is."

"Yeah, yeah…" The green haired girl sighed as she left the room. "Oi mom and dad, did you miss me? Teacher dearest and I were just having a fun little talk about what us girls should keep an eye out for in town…"

Tsunade sighed and rubbed her forehead. "Ugh. This better be worth it. It's like having another Naruto around… and god knows this village has enough problems with a clan of those brats running around…"

"Tsunade-sama! We have a complaint we must issue to you of the utmost importance!" Roared a civilian woman as she barged into the room, followed by several other civilian men and women.

"Then again, the brat only complains to me about missions and doesn't try to force me to change every log damned thing I do…" The blonde woman grunted under her breath. "This had better be important. I have a load of paperwork to do before I start my medical training session in a few hours."

"Tsunade-sama, we are all parents of children who are attending the academy." Spoke the woman in front, who from the looks of things was a merchant's wife from how gaudy her kimono was. "Today, we received horrifying news that the de…" She stalled when a small burst of killing intent hit her dead on. "… that a shinobi of low morality is teaching our children this year." She corrected herself hastily. "We will not sit still while our children's futures are being threatened by less than suitable education!"

Tsunade's response to the woman's speech was to yawn before pouting. "Tch. Damn. Brat was right again…" She grunted.

"Come again, Tsunade-sama?" Said leader asked skeptically as the elder woman sighed and stretched, inadvertently causing many of the men in the room to stare at her assets… which in turn caused their wives to smack them upside the head.

"Hm? Oh, it's nothing. I was just talking about a bet that said shinobi of low morality and I had about when people would start complaining about him being a teacher." The Hokage yawned, causing the people in her room to both gape and step back nervously. "My money was on the angry crowd coming in after a week's worth of classes." She sighed. "Honestly, you'd think I'd learn to never bet against him by now…"

"You actually… made a bet on when we would come in to complain about the brat?" One of the merchants asked in a disbelieving tone. "I'm insulted!"

"Don't blame me. You're the ones that came in after the first day. I had faith that you had the patience to last a week before you stepped in here. If anything, you're the ones that didn't live up to _my_ expectations." The woman stated in a clearly disinterested tone, once again making a jab at the parent's presence in her office. "Now then, because I knew that parents such as yourselves would raise such a stink about Naruto teaching, I made sure that he would only be assisting Iruka Umino, who is still the main instructor of the classroom, and would not be in charge of the class himself. Iruka has always shown loyalty and dedication to his work, both on paper and from his colleagues. As such, I have made sure that he writes a report of Naruto's behavior and conduct each day." She took out a small mission scroll and unraveled it. "Believe me when I say this; if Naruto had done anything to spur the idea that it would be best for your children to fire him, I would move him to a more appropriate mission. However, I have yet to come across such information. In fact, he has already seemed to have done what few academy instructors have ever achieved and actually made your children eager to learn."

"Y-you cannot truly be serious Hokage-sama." Stammered the leading woman. "The boy may have shown some potential as a ninja, but to actually put him in charge of our children's futures is preposterous…"

"Sarutobi-sensei didn't think so." The Hokage yawned. "In fact, he came up with the idea in the first place. While he does wish that his grandson hadn't learned some things from the boy, he none the less seems rather happy that Naruto is Konohamaru's shinobi academy teacher." She smiled sweetly. "You don't doubt the wisdom of the Third Hokage, do you?"

"It is not that we doubt his judgment, Hokage-sama. It's just that Sarutobi-sama is getting on in years now." Stated an educated member of the group. "You of all people must be aware of how people tend to make more mistakes when they reach that age…"

"Yet until recently, he was still trusted with ruling over the entire village." Tsunade interrupted irritably. "And he still aids me in difficult decisions regarding our security today, so do not think for one second that he has gone senile in the span of a little more than 2 months." The crowd of adults shrunk in front of her, knowing that they had overstepped their bounds. "While Naruto is far from conventional in any form of the word, his loyalty is unquestionable, and Iruka is one of the few people in the village that can truly control him, so let me be the first to tell you this: Naruto poses as much a threat to your children as any other chūnin instructor."

"Should he actually do something that would warrant concern for the student's safety, I would already have a written and unbiased report of the event on my desk before you would have even heard of it. Should I receive any word that he actually DOES pose a threat to your children and their education, I guarantee you I will take appropriate measures, but otherwise, he will stay in the academy under my orders. And since the point of the academy is to train these children to become MY soldiers to protect the village, I feel that MY judgment on the matter overrides yours. Do I make myself clear?"

The defeated civilians shrunk under the gaze of the Sanin. "Y-yes Tsunade-sama…" They all said at once like defeated school children.

"Good. Now. Unless there is another reason why you barged into my office, please leave so that I can get back to work." The woman grunted. Within 5 seconds, the room had been completely emptied of all living beings other than Tsunade, the ANBU who had snuck back in with the angry mob of parents, and Shizune and Tonton.

"It seems as if Naruto-kun still has a long way to go until the village accepts him again…" The brunette sighed in a disappointed tone.

"As if that's ever stopped him before." Snorted the blonde as she took the top folder from the pile next to her and started to read the contents. "Odds are this job is gonna kill him before any assassin ever will…"

"Hahaha. Knowing him, he'll spend more time trying to remake the system in order to lessen his work load than actually doing his job." Shizune laughed before pausing. "By the way, you mentioned having a bet with Naruto-kun about this incident. Please tell me you didn't lose anything important this time…"

Tsunade smiled and waved her hand. "Oh, don't worry, Shizune. It wasn't anything important. It was more of a joke bet if anything. People will forget about it in a month…"

Long after the war with Madara ended, the academy still raves about the week that Naruto Uzumaki taught an academy class with the Hokage's hat on his head.

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"Hmmm…" Scabbard mused as he was walked through the Village Hidden in the Clouds to the Raikage's office.

"Heh. So shocked and in awe of our village that you're speechless, huh?" Sniggered one of the men guiding him to his meeting. "We don't blame you. After all, it's hard to imagine a village way up here in such a prime and unique location…"

"If I remember correctly, Iwa is situated in a similar environment." Scabbard stated in a factual tone, catching the shinobi around him off guard. "What interested me is the construction style of your buildings and how they are integrated into the mountains. To be honest, I have seen so many hidden mountain villages that the only thing that catches my attention is how their dwellings are made and designed to adapt to their surroundings. If you would please remain silent until we arrive at our destination, I would greatly appreciate it. I am a bit of an architect, and your buildings are rather interesting to study…" Of course, he wouldn't tell them that this was his second time in Kumo, but he could at least take his time looking at the village now.

The three chūnin guards frowned at the man as he paid no attention to them in favor of looking at the nearest building and the bridges that spanned between the peaks. "Who does this arrogant piece of crap from Konoha think he is?" Grunted one of them to the others. "He blatantly insulted us like this in our own village!"

"Be quiet." Hissed the eldest of the three. "He has a meeting registered with Raikage-sama, so show your respect as long as needed. Whatever happens to him after the meeting is up to Raikage-sama."

The other two grunted in reluctant agreement before turning to the short haired man, who bore a lightning green Konoha leaf on the back of his coat. "Come. It would be best to not keep Raikage-sama waiting."

Turning around, Scabbard sighed. "Yes… that would be most logical. I have heard that your leader is a rather… emotional individual at times… the number of times he has apparently literally burst out of his office is so obscene that I doubt it is made up…"

The three chūnin guards all sweatdropped, knowing that what the man speculated was true. "R-right… we suggest you not bring that up in your conversation with him…" The leader laughed nervously as they began to jump to the largest building in the village.

"I thank you for your concern, but I will decide how to converse with your leader when the time comes." Scabbard droned, almost smirking as he followed the group.

Within minutes, the group had arrived at the Raikage's building. "No funny movements here. You'll regret it if you do." Grunted the youngest of the guards as they entered the front door.

"Such advice is unnecessary when talking to members of my clan." Scabbard yawned. "We either already would know such rules and would follow them regardless, or would completely ignore them due to the sheer stupidity my family possesses."

"Are you trying to be smart with us?" Glared the eldest of the guards. "You have no allies to help you escape if we decide you are overstepping your boundaries."

 _'I could easily make my record for getting out of the village with an army at my heels unharmed 1000 for 1000, small person.'_ "Not at all. I am just indicating that several members of my clan are rather… peculiar, and standard courtesies don't apply to them as much as the normal individual." He paused. "One of them is a pervert that puts Jiraiya of the Sannin to shame and another will cause great bodily harm to anyone who makes a comment about her age or weight."

"R-right…" The leader sweatdropped. "Just make sure not to do anything stupid…"

"Only if it gets me the results I desire." Scabbard sighed before a shriek of disbelief reached everyone's ears.

"Eeeeh? No way! What the hell are YOU doing here?" Roared a disbelieving Karui as she pointed at the temporarily deafened Scabbard.

"Karui, my girl, what's the deal? Why the hell did you have to let out a squeal?" Asked the large black man standing behind her. "I'm not gonna lie, for a moment there my ears almost died."

"That's HIM!" She yelled. "That's the guy from Konoha that made my sword!"

Everyone in hearing range turned their attention to Scabbard, who didn't react to all the attention he was getting. "Ah. Karui. It has been a while." He mused, ignoring everyone else. "I take it that the blade I made is still in adequate condition?"

"He's creeping me out for some reason…" Omoi whispered to Samui. "I can't tell why, but he seems different…"

"Yeah!" Karui responded as she motioned to the katana that was strapped to her back. "This baby is amazing. It's like it was made just for me, and best thing is it takes a lot to cause any scratches on it."

"I see." Scabbard nodded. "I am glad that my work is appreciated and I made the right choice when I gave it to you. Make sure to take care of it. I have found that it is somewhat difficult for other smiths to repair my wares completely…"

"Hoh? So you're the guy who made Karui's blade. You're not half bad, ya have my thanks in spades." Bee rapped, seemingly acting like he normally did. It was at this point that Scabbard noticed that the man was wearing a loose t-shirt under his armor that covered his biceps. "Your clan's gotten pretty famous and I was wondering when I'd get to see, the new group from Konoha, the Ōgakari…"

"Ah. The brother of the Raikage. Bee Killer. It is an honor to meet you as well." Scabbard bowed formally. "I have heard many… many things about you… and just now you've confirmed a good portion of them… your lyrics are in desperate need of aid."

Everyone listening to the conversation sweatdropped heavily, knowing very well that Bee's constant rapping was a major pain in everyone's ass. "Hey you fool! You bastard! You cannot hope to see, the greatness that is Killer Bee! When he takes his stand on the stage, my lyrics are all the rage, of the ladies from Kumo to Suna, they all want my autographed pictcha!"

Clouds of depression covered all of the resident Kumo shinobi (A/N: HAHAHAHA! It's funny 'cause they're from Kumo… with the clouds and their village and… LAUGH DAMN YOU!) as they dwelled on the fact that one of the strongest shinobi they had was adamantly making an ass out of himself in front of everyone.

Scabbard sighed and stepped up to the man and stared at him with bored eyes, causing everyone to freeze and pay attention at what was going to happen.

"Don't you dare you dare think you can top me.

Those two ryō glasses fuck the way you see

things. You got no class, no wit.

You think you can flow, but you don't have the spit

to clean my shoes.

Against me you'll always lose.

Your style is in denial and I'm tired of your bile,

I have little doubt that everyone is tired of that pile

of bull that you pull. It's a shame.

Go somewhere else to play your little game,

the big boys have better things to do than look lame."

Everyone gaped in silence as Scabbard walked down the hallways where the signs said the Raikage's office was. Bee in particular was frozen in place and had not budged an inch as soon as the shorter man started his lyrical counterattack. "Come on. It would look bad for all of us if I showed up without the appropriate accompaniment."

The three gaping chūnin stiffened and followed the outsider quickly, clearly not sure how they should explain or describe what the hell just happened.

Omoi was the first to recover. "Um… S-sensei? Are you alright?" He paused for a moment. "Oh no… what if that man just angered Bee-sensei so much that he will go on an angry rampage and try to get revenge? Then we would go to war with Konoha while Sensei would seal himself in isolation to try and make MORE rhymes! We would be attacked from outside by Konoha and on the inside by Sensei's rapping and then…"

"I must study under him…" Bee said in a soft tone. "The bastard has skills so steep he makes me weep! I would run in a field of fire in order to bust rhymes of that style!" He roared as he turned around and ran after the immortal frantically. "Wait for me Ōgakari-sama!"

"Oh dear god, just when we thought he couldn't get any weirder…" Samui groaned.

o. o. o.

Up in the Raikage's office:

A Killer sighed as he went through some light paperwork while he waited for the man from Konoha to arrive for his meeting. He honestly didn't like dealing with people from the Leaf that much. They were too moral for the shinobi line of work and only a handful of them tolerated getting their hands in any potential controversial work. Looking to his side, he noticed one of his aides, C, stiffen. The Raikage always thought that having shinobi hiding in his room as a security measure was both a sign of weakness and was a bit creepy, so he simply had his guards stand with him when he did work and frequently forced them to help him out. "Something wrong?"

"I… I don't know who it is…" The blonde man said nervously. "But there appears to be someone inside the building other than you and Bee-sama who has an enormous amount of chakra… and he appears to be approaching this room… casually and surrounded by some of our men…"

The Raikage frowned. "Who's stupid enough to flare that kind of power in my village? Does he want to get killed?"

C shook his head. "That's not it, Raikage-sama. The chakra seems… stable… it's acting as if the owner is completely calm and not channeling anything, like you are now… if anything, I'd hazard a guess to say that it's being held back…"

Darui, A's other guard, whistled in an impressed tone. "Damn. That's a lot of chakra. The only people you've detected with that much chakra were Raikage-sama, Bee-sama, and when we barely got away from that Kisame guy a couple years back. This guy must be a beast."

"Well, you don't have to concern yourself with wondering what he looks like for long. He'll be here in a minute…" C confirmed before pausing.

"Something wrong?" Darui asked curiously.

C remained quiet for several seconds. "It would be best if I didn't say anything…"

Soon enough, a minute later A's secretary knocked at his door. "Raikage-sama, um… Scabbard Ōgakari from Konoha is here to discuss some weapons transactions with you…"

The three's eyes flashed momentarily in surprise before they calmed down again. "Something tells me this meeting isn't going to be as cut and dry as I expected it to be…" A grunted to himself. "Send him in." He barked out.

No sooner did the order come out than the door burst open to reveal Scabbard standing ridged in the doorway with Bee wrapped around his waist. "Unless you wish to be an only child. Get. Him. Off." The clearly irritated man stated.

"Oh holy master of the lyrical plateau! Show me your ways!" Bee wailed.

The three shinobi in the office sweated heavily at the sight. "This was what you didn't want to tell us, wasn't it?" A asked with a twitching eyebrow to C.

"I can sense locations, boss… I can't tell what the heck they were doing." The blonde weekly replied.

"I have a thing against being hugged by large men for longer than 2 seconds." The visitor stated clearly. "I'm now reaching for a kunai because someone isn't taking appropriate measures…"

"Bee! Stop making me worry more about your mental health than I already do and let the man go already!" The Raikage yelled, immediately prompting the jinchūriki to let go of the weapon smith.

"Come on bro! This man is a lyrical maestro!" The rapper wannabe begged.

"This man came here for business, not to point out every possible thing wrong with your so-called music! Now get out of my office!" A growled, prompting his brother and the chūnin escort to flee the room and shut the door behind them in less than a second. "I apologize for my brother's behavior. Hopefully you won't have to experience something like that again…"

Scabbard snorted as he walked to a chair. "To be frank, other than the breach of personal space, you brother's antics pale in comparison to my family's. My entire life is filled with unfortunate events such as the one that just passed and many more."

A chuckled. "My condolences, then." The two settled themselves into their seats and donned their business faces. "So I hear you are interested in selling your wares in Kumo. I am surprised that Konoha permitted you to do such a thing. We have rarely seen eye to eye on many matters as of late since…"

"The Hyūga event." Scabbard interrupted in a bored tone. "I am well aware of it. In fact, I have trained the almost kidnapped heiress in question several times."

The room remained silent as both sides gazed upon each other warily. The Kumo shinobi tensed slightly at the display of information. ' _Cunning little bastard. He's already trying to gain ground on us on a psychological and moral level.'_ A mentally grunted. "I hope you do realize that I was not the Raikage at the time of the incident. In fact I was one of the ones that lead the investigation against him in the first place."

"I am well aware of that." Scabbard replied, not batting an eyelash. "I am merely stating that fact in case you wish to convey a message to her. As you have said, relations between our villages are strained, so something as simple as a message would be difficult to send without drawing attention."

"Why you." C growled. "How dare you talk to Raikage-sama like…"

"C!" Said leader grunted. "That's enough. While a bit blunt, our guest here does have a point. It's because of the Hyūga incident that our ties to Konoha are weaker than we would prefer, and our inability to do anything about it after I took office…" He eyed Scabbard. The green haired man's eyes were unnaturally calm and sharp. "I have in fact been meaning to return Hiashi Hyūga's body to Konoha for some time now, but it was experimented on before I could terminate the bloodline program, so I feared it would be seen more as an insult to the Hyūga more than an apology if it was given in its current state… however, that is not to say I haven't kept said body in adequate condition…"

Scabbard closed his eyes. "What you say is logical. I will discuss this situation with the current clan head upon my return. Hopefully this long overdue issue will finally be resolved relatively soon. I know of several individuals in particular who would be rather relieved to have the body in question returned to its proper home." The Kumo shinobi all nodded, knowing that they had somehow found a way to relieve one of the more delicate issues between their villages. "However, back to the matters at hand. My weapons…" Scabbard mused. "I would like to hear your honest opinion of the sample I have given your brother's student. No doubt you have heard about the prices, but we can and will discuss that later…"

The Raikage sighed and rested in his seat. "I am not an individual who relies on weapons in a battle. I prefer to use my fists. Despite that, I have still learned enough from my brother and other shinobi here about swords to know that what you gave Karui is certainly more than cut above the standard blade… however, that is as far as I know." He looked back at his fellow colored shinobi. "Darui?"

The casual guard yawned. "I had a look at Karui's sword a week ago, and to be honest, I was a bit on edge when she told me that you were pumping a ton of swords like that and making it look like it wasn't a big deal. Quality of the metal, strength, sharpness, balance, durability… hell, it could even channel chakra better than almost anything we could make here. To think that you could produce large amounts of weapons of that level is almost unnerving. Personally though, I wouldn't mind shelling out a small fortune if it meant getting my hands on something like that."

"I try to make my wares worth the high prices I sell them at. So far, the complaints pale in comparison to the profits I have made." Scabbard stated, still with his bored demeanor. "However, since this village is not allied with Konoha, I am afraid I will have to raise the price on the weapons a bit more than what I would for Suna. It is part of the stipulations I was given to be allowed to trade with you. Including importation and travelling fees, there may be a small problem with the overall price…" He took out a small scroll and handed it to the Raikage.

Said leader unraveled the scroll in his hands curiously and read the contents. Moments later his eyebrows rose considerably. "This had better be a joke." The man growled, putting down the scroll and showing the numbers to his guards.

Darui whistled. "Ouch. That's a bit more than a small fortune…"

"Raikage-sama. This man has clearly been playing us for fools." C grunted. "Let me have the honor of taking him out of the village…"

"No need to be rude." The visitor sighed. "I would not have brought in such numbers unless I had come up with ways to even things out a bit. I am a man of business, after all."

A frowned and looked at everything in front of him. Something didn't feel right in his gut, and so far whenever that feeling came up and he wasn't enraged, it meant that something was wrong. "I'm starting to have my doubts about dealing with you, Ōgakari…" The big man frowned.

Scabbard's mouth twitched. "Good. It would be irresponsible for the leader of a village such as this to make a transaction of this nature without some skepticism…" He looked at the two guards. "… However, I wish for this side deal of ours to be on a need to know basis… for security reasons… on both our parts…"

A smirked. ' _Cunning little bastard… this is what he wanted in the first place... fine, I'll play your little game for now.'_ "Fine, but you better have something interesting to talk about, or I might hold onto the Hyūga's body for a while and send a letter saying that it was your fault, brat."

"Raikage-sama! You can't possibly…" C began to protest, only for Darui to put a hand on his shoulder.

"Cool it. You can tell that these two have something on their minds right now that we don't want to get involved in." He sighed and glanced at the visitor again. He didn't say it, but the man's eyes were unnerving to the jōnin. They were unnaturally sharp. "Just don't break anything this time, okay Raikage-sama?"

"Just shut up and get out of my office." Grunted the large man as the two left the room.

"They're good men." Scabbard mused. "It's no wonder you have them as your guards."

"Enough beating around the bush, Ōgakari. What did you really come here for?" The Raikage asked sternly, putting up a silencing seal around the room.

"Straight to the point? Are you sure you don't want to dance around each other for a little bit longer?" Scabbard asked in an amused tone. ' _Normal negotiation tactics won't work on this man once I tell him what I want. The man is emotional and has a short fuse; however, he is also incredibly sharp, otherwise he wouldn't be the leader of this village. It is a rare combination that is hard to work around without causing problems. I may have to give up some potential trading information in order for this to work.'_ The growl coming from the larger man confirmed the immortal's thoughts. "Okay. To be frank, I wish to investigate and make use of a particular area under the control of Kumo." Scabbard stated in an almost amused tone. "The floating turtle island that you and your brother trained on."

A glared at Scabbard. "That island is a heavily kept secret of our village. I'm curious how you came across such information."

The immortal didn't flinch. "Regular secret or top secret?" He asked with a small grin.

"The kind that justifies me killing you where you stand." The big man growled.

"Great… top secret. That's the worst kind…" The green dye haired man sighed sarcastically to himself before addressing the large man again. "You'd be surprised what you can find out if you ask the right questions to the right people. Information trade is another one of my businesses. You can partake in that too if you want. My prices are more reasonable for that than for my weapons… there are some subjects that are off limits of course…"

The Raikage frowned. ' _This is not making sense. He desires to sell information to me directly when he could simply establish links elsewhere in the country. True, his weapon deliveries would serve as a suitable cover to meet with me in person, but there seems to be more behind the scenes than at a first glace. While Kumo does control access to the island, the man should know that he does not necessarily need to come to me to gain it…'_ "I don't like playing mind games, boy. If you have something to tell me, say it."

Scabbard gazed upon the large man with bored and calculating eyes. "Giving information for free is bad for business… but handing out samples to attract customers is also frequently used…" He closed his eyes and sighed. "War is coming."

That… was not something the big man had been expecting to hear when the meeting started. "W-what?"

"In all its glory and horrors… war is coming, and at a magnitude that makes it incomparable to the previous 3 shinobi wars." Scabbard repeated without once showing any discomfort with what he was saying. "And I came here because you possess both something I desire, and the potential to become an ally for the future…"

A collapsed into his chair and interlocked his fingers, clearly thinking hard about what he had just learned. "… Who is it? Konoha? Iwa? Who will start it?"

Scabbard smirked. "Now, now. I already gave you a free sample. Any other information will have to cost you. For all you know right now, it could be a party completely separate from the shinobi nations… which is definitely a possibility."

The Raikage responded by very quickly going over his desk and lifting up the man with one hand. "Stop playing games, you little rat." He growled. "You're playing with the lives of my men here, and I don't like that…"

"You have forgotten that, in a sick way, war is a game. I just happen to be setting up the board for when the games begin." Scabbard commented in a bored tone before a brief and tiny spark of electricity jumped from him to the assailant. Moments later, he was dropped back to his seat and the large man's arm hung limp from his shoulder. "Your speed and technique are impressive… however, you are not the only one who knows how to manipulate a person's nervous system via electrical pulses. Now please. I came here for business, and I intend to leave here with a deal closed. If you remember, I said that I have interest in considering you an ally for this endeavor."

A was speechless as he looked at his limp arm. Before he even knew it, he had just been significantly crippled by a guy he was holding up like a small child! To make matters worse, the man not only knew about his personal enhancement lightning ninjutsu, but he used its principles to shut A down without even batting an eyelash. "Who… are you?"

"I believe you were already informed that my name is Scabbard Ōgakari." The man sighed before taking out some papers. "Now, if we could get back to business. If I am allowed to access said turtle island for a period of roughly 1 month while accompanied by your brother and 3-5 individuals of my choice per year for 2-3 years, I will not only be more than willing to drop the overall price of my weapons shipments to around what Suna pays, but I will also create a set of custom made blades for your brother… and your assistant also, free of charge. I believe his name was Darui…"

The Raikage blinked several times before he began to lose his temper. "Don't you dare change the subject on me. You go on spouting about war and then you humiliate me in my own office. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't call my guards in to interrogate you right now…"

Scabbard frowned and glanced at the enraged Raikage. "You know, maybe there's a reason why your relations with all the other villages are pathetic at best despite the change in command." He paused before speaking up again to interrupt the man's shout for his guards. "They are after your brother…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"RASENGAN!" Roared a small blonde boy and a large white haired man as they charged at each other with glowing balls of death in their hands. Less than a second later, a massive explosion shook the training ground that the two were fighting in, kicking up dust and debris everywhere, but that did nothing to stop the two from still trying to kill each other.

"Damn…." Jiraiya chuckled to himself as he tried to look through the dust. "Little brat's grown up on me too quickly. He's already giving me a good run for my money and I'm nearly going all out on him…" Shink. The Sannin froze as two blades of wind sprung from his chest.

"Nearly? I was wondering why this was too easy…" Naruto's voice mused from the dust behind the man, just before his victim exploded in a cloud of smoke. "Shadow clone…figures…"

"Earth Style! Swamp of the Underworld!" A seasoned voice shouted from a reasonable distance away, prompting the blonde to swear.

"Damn." Naruto instinctively jumped with the aid of chakra and his wind control to a height above the cloud of smoke, forming seals and turning to where he detected the source of the offensive technique was. The two males smirked at each other as they saw that they were each in the middle of a technique. "Wind Style! Wind Fang Bullet!"

"Fire Style! Flame Bullet!" The two roared, arcing back their heads to unleash their respective techniques at their opponent… when a set of hands burst out from the ground underneath the Toad Sage's feet. "Shit!" The elder mentally swore as he managed to get only one of his feet out in time before he was partially dragged down into the earth. Unable to do anything else, Jiraiya unleashed the entirety of his technique in a quick burst against Naruto's in an attempt to at least stall the oncoming attack while he wove his hands together to perform a quick defense technique.

The fire and wind attacks collided with intensity, and while at first Jiraiya's did gain some ground against Naruto's due to its type advantage, the constant stream of chakra that the blonde had supplied his technique eventually overpowered the fireball and continued to drill straight towards the sage and impacted the earth with incredible power.

Smirking, Naruto suddenly bolted in midair to safe ground and landed. Putting some more distance between himself and the bottomless swamp, the boy kept an eye on the debris, where he could already tell exactly what had happened. "You know, you really need to learn a different high level defensive jutsu, Ero-Sennin. I don't think the toad summons like having their insides used as meat shields."

The debris in the air had cleared enough to reveal a large pulsing flesh mound in place of where Jiraiya stood only to disappear a second later to show an irritated toad sage. "Watch it, brat! You nearly killed my outstanding manly voice with that last stunt of yours!"

Naruto shrugged. "Hey, it's not my fault that you and everyone else let their guard down the moment before they perform a large scale technique through their mouth."

 _'Cunning little bastard. I have to remember that little fact for later.'_ The sage mentally grumbled as he picked himself completely out of the ground. ' _…He's focusing more on hit and run tactics now, and his midrange techniques are ridiculously well honed. The timing of his strikes are near perfect, and he's strong enough in close ranged combat to hold his own and make the needed openings to attack or create some distance. Plus he knows enough defensive and evasive techniques to handle an incredibly wide range of situations. The only flaw I can see with his style right now is that he can't seem to handle being constantly under attack for long periods of time, but even that is a difficult trait to exploit in high level battles. By the time Akatsuki finally decides to attack, the brat may just be strong enough to take out pairs of them by himself.'_ "Not bad kid, but you seem to avoid fighting me up close a lot. What's the matter, afraid you might catch some of my greatness?" The Sanin taunted.

"If by greatness you mean the smell of booze, hookers, porn, disappointment, an incalculable amount of shame, and unclean pants, then yes, yes I am afraid of catching it." The blonde deadpanned, causing a dead silence between the pair.

"I… will… KILL YOU, BRAT!" Jiraiya roared as he launched himself at the blonde in a single leap.

"Bring it, you pathetic excuse for an author!" The blonde countered as he renewed the chakra blades on the sides of his arm and ran forward as well.

As the two extraordinarily immature individuals duked it out, they didn't bother to acknowledge Kurenai's reformed Team 8 and Anko, who were going to use the previously unused field due to Ghost having trashed the original one, watching the entire show.

"Um… who's the creepy old guy keeping up with Naruto?" Ino asked curiously.

"That's Jiraiya of the Sannin, kid." Anko answered without turning her attention away. "Pervert, author, and one of the strongest shinobi you'll ever meet. I'm surprised he was back in town, though… thought he was still on another one of his spying missions."

"I didn't know that Naruto knew someone as big as him." Kiba mused before wincing as Jiraiya somehow grabbed the boy's arm, blade and all, dragged him in and decked the blonde across the field. "Ouch. That's gotta hurt. How did he manage to grab his arm without getting cut?"

"It's similar to how Neji blocked Sasuke's sword in the preliminaries." Kurenai replied. "If it's just a chakra weapon, it can be countered if you channel enough chakra into the body part you're hitting it with, but if you aren't careful, you can give yourself severe chakra burns…" She paused. "…Using it against someone wielding a weapon that is focusing wind composed chakra is extremely risky in particular, though, due to its fine cutting nature. Only those who are extremely confident and talented in this skill are able to overcome that particular circumstance without getting hurt…"

"So that is Uzumaki-san…" Sai mused curiously as he watched the jinchūriki jump right back up and charge at the Sannin again with an enraged battle cry. "He is certainly persistent." He paused. "If I may ask, do any of you know why these two seem to hate each other?"

"I WILL TIE YOU DOWN AND READ YOU MY WORK UNTIL YOU RESPECT MY TALLENT! Roared a crazed sage as he countered a heavy blow that Naruto had almost dealt him.

"SO HELP ME, ERO-SENNIN, IF YOU TRY TO GET ME TO READ ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR BOOKS, I WILL STEAL ALL OF YOUR NOTES AND GIVE THEM TO THE OLD HAG!" The blonde countered as he used the energy from Jiraiya's attack to spin his body and deal a crushing kick to the elder man's head, which was blocked with some difficulty.

"If you ask me… they're actually getting along pretty well…" Kurenai laughed nervously. "You'd hear nearly the exact same thing if you saw him fight Sasuke or Ghost-san…"

"Or meeee!" Anko cheered in a girly voice.

"No, that's just because you're crazy and sic snakes after him." Ino corrected her teacher before she found herself wrapped up by an anaconda. "Or it's because he likes you and respects you as a teacher and beautiful woman. Hahahahaha!" She corrected herself frantically, sweating profusely the entire time.

"Interesting. People tend to tell more obvious lies when someone they are familiar with threatens their life if the truth is something that said friend don't like…" Sai mused as he wrote down his thoughts on a note pad.

"Dude, we really have to talk to you about your habit of saying what you're writing down…" Kiba deadpanned as he saw a glowing eyed Anko loom over the seemingly oblivious pale boy.

"Damn it Ero-Sennin!" Naruto roared, gaining everyone's attention again to see the blonde's head sticking out of the mouth of a deadpanning 15 foot tall toad. "You said that there wasn't going to be any full summoning in this fight!"

"I say a lot of things! I write even more! Would you like to listen to some of my work? Of course you would!" Jiraiya grinned as he took out a small booklet. "You'll be the first to hear some of my latest book and learn from one of the greatest successful perverted single men on the planet…"

"THE HELL I WILL!" Naruto yelled at the top of his lungs as he started to thrash around heavily. "I've been the student of Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei, you, and Ero-nii, and I have managed to not become a raging pervert yet, damn you! I can tell you're lying about your success with women. I bet you haven't gotten laid in over a year!"

"I have you know that women all over the continent moan out my name during their private time, brat!" The insulted sage roared as he started stretching the boy's face in defiance.

"I WILL EAT YOUR FIRST BORN CHILD, YOU PATHETIC OLD MAN!" The blonde announced to the world as he bit down on the assailant's fingers, forcing the more perverted of the two to scream and jump back. The air grew thick and heavy for a brief moment before the boy shot out of the toad's mouth and landed several yards away holding his hands in his favorite seal. "Since you decided to use a jutsu that wasn't supposed to be used, I guess I'll just have to return the favor…"

The toad sage paled and stepped back nervously. "N-now Naruto… kid… don't do anything rash now…" Several hundred clones popped into existence, all of them making the ram seal while the original took out a camera. "C-come one brat… you know I was just kidding…"

" **I'm just going to go back now…"** The toad summon sweatdropped before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

"Whoa…" Kiba gaped. "The idiot actually has a technique that even someone like Jiraiya is afraid of?"

"I'm more curious as to why he took out that camera." Kurenai mused, only to pause as she saw Anko giggling evilly. "I take it you know what's going to happen?"

"It's kinda obvious." The snake mistress laughed. "What's Jiraiya famous for being after all, and what was one of the things the brat was known for doing before he started taking his training seriously?"

Before anyone could answer, Naruto's voice spoke up. "Hidden technique! Harem jutsu!"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me…" Kurenai sighed, feeling a migraine coming on.

"Oh man! Hahaha! I can't believe I forgot he could do that! Heheheh! He's a genius!" Kiba roared as he rolled on the ground.

"Ah! I see." Sai said in a factual tone as the cloud around the clones disappeared to reveal a large number of females with very attractive and very nude bodies squealing Jiraiya's name and running to him. "Jiraiya of the Sannin is widely known for his voyeuristic habits, his perverted personality and his lust for women. Uzumaki-san on the other hand is known as a chronic prankster. I had heard that he made a technique of this nature before, but I had no idea that it was this effective…" He watched as Jiraiya twitched heavily while surrounded by the naked females while the original took picture after picture of the scene before the man finally succumbed to his situation and rocketed away via a massive nosebleed. "Fascinating. I will have to make a note of this…" The artist mused out loud.

"Sai, if I ever catch you making nude females out of your art ninjutsu, I will personally make sure that you will only be able to write with one hand for the rest of your life." Kurenai stated in a serious tone as she glared at the maniacally laughing Naruto.

"Duly noted, Sensei." Sai replied obliviously as he continued to make notes. "I'll make sure you're not around when I test my theory out."

"You know, for an oblivious and annoying brat… I just can't help but say that he's my favorite in this group…" Anko giggled childishly as Kurenai's eyebrow twitched rampantly.

"But… but I'm your apprentice…" Ino stated in a traumatized tone.

"Ah, details, details…" The special jōnin sighed, waving her hand lazily.

"Oi! Who's there?" Naruto yelled from across the field. "Show yourself or I will be forced to take extreme measures! I have a loaded pervert and I'm not afraid to use him, I think!"

"Calm down Naruto, it's just us." Kurenai replied as she walked out of the woods followed by her teammates. "I must say that I'm impressed at your performance. You certainly fight well… however, if I ever see you use that technique again, I will have to take appropriate actions…"

Naruto paused as he looked at Kurenai thoughtfully. "How about… I give you one of these blackmail pictures of Ero-Sennin… and you let me off the hook the next time you catch me doing something you extremely disapprove of." He flashed the photos he had just taken of Jiraiya and his transformed clones.

"Deal." The genjutsu mistress answered without any hesitation and caught the spinning photograph the boy tossed her a moment later. Glancing back at her shocked teammates, she crossed her arms. "What? I'd rather have some insurance against the largest pervert in the Land of Fire than intimidate some kid that does these things by accident on a daily basis."

"Finally! A female understands my situation!" Naruto ranted from a distance. "Do you know how long I have been trying to explain that to people?"

"Oi Naruto! How the hell did you ever become friends with a guy like this?" Kiba laughed. "Honestly! It's like you naturally attract perverts to you… and you're not even a chick!"

"Please do not remind me of that! I have already lost more sleep trying to figure that out than I would like to believe!" The boy wept as he walked to the group before pausing and looking at Sai. "Hey, is that the new guy that I heard about?"

Sai bowed and put a fake smile on. "Hello Uzumaki-san. My name is Sai. It is a pleasure to meet you. I have heard many things about you, such as the time you invaded the kunoichi hot springs and muhururhuhr…"

Naruto sweat profusely as he covered Sai's mouth. "Sai, one of the first rules about hanging around me is to know which of my adventures to bring up… and which ones to not." He turned to Anko. "Please explain things for me. You were one of the people who forced me to do that after all…"

"I have no idea what you are talking about…" Anko whistled innocently as she walked away in a random direction.

"You held 5 kunai to my junk and told me 3 of them were covered in poison that would literally make my balls fall off if I didn't do what you told me to." Naruto growled angrily, causing Kiba to whimper and cross his legs.

Kurenai blinked. ' _I could use some of that poison later if it exists.'_ "That… sounds like something she would do…" The genjutsu mistress mused.

"Well, now I know what she's gonna teach me in a few years…" Ino sighed. "Can't say I'm surprised…"

"I had heard rumors that Mitarashi-sensei used such methods in her interrogations… though no one could ever prove it... or was willing to…" Sai commented thoughtfully as he wrote down the information.

"Oi brat! I know it's fun to talk about your balls dropping for once, but I think it's about time we get to Tsunade's!" Jiraiya yelled as he finally picked himself up and walked towards the group. "… Of course, if you were trying to chat up these fine young women, I guess I could give you some more time…" He grinned perversely as he scanned Kurenai and Anko.

"We're taken." Both women deadpanned.

"Let's get going." Naruto sighed. "It's a pain to piss off the old lady… she's been getting used to punching me across the village like you lately… and it hurts…"

Sai blinked curiously before smiling again. "Ah. I see you too give nicknames to people you know. I am curious. Do you know why do my teammates keep on getting angry at me for calling them dickless and hag?"

"Story of my life, brat." Jiraiya giggled, ignoring what the ROOT spy had asked and his subsequent beating. "Bye, bye ladies. If you're feeling lonely, don't hesitate to look for me…"

"He called Kiba dickless and Ino a hag without any hesitation, even though he was between them…" Naruto mused in a dazed tone as he watched Sai's punishment. "I must hang with him in public and get him to say more things that will amuse me…"

"We'll keep that in mind…" Anko grunted to the sage as the elder man grabbed the blonde boy by his sweater and threw him towards the village.

"Stay sexy, ladies!" Jiraiya grinned as he ran off after Naruto's flying body, dodging the kunai thrown at him in the process. Within a minute he was jumping through the trees alongside his disciple. "So that's Sai, eh?" The Sage mused. "Can't say I don't like the boy, but he's ROOT…"

"Don't worry, Ero-Sennin." Naruto replied. "He's already a lot better than he originally was when I first met him in the last timeline. I think it's because we got to him sooner. He's already trying to establish a bond between himself and his team. He didn't start reading those 'how to make a friend' books until after the mission in Kusa…" He smiled. "Danzō didn't have a chance to cover up all his memories of his brother this time…"

"I see." Jiraiya nodded. "Makes sense. Still, it wouldn't be safe for the boy if the traitor thinks that we're turning him…"

"Which is why he's with Ino and Kiba." Naruto replied. "They have absolutely no idea what's really going on, yet they are outgoing, social, and stubborn enough to convert him to our side with enough time regardless."

"Clever. Way to use your friends without their permission." The sage chuckled.

"So what did you find out?" Naruto asked curiously. "You weren't supposed to come back for another few months…"

The Sage frowned for a moment before sighing. "Since our buddy with the sparking sense of humor is off doing business, I decided to brush up on some of my old information sources in Ame and Iwa since he hasn't touched those areas of the continent yet. I got some cleaner details on how Nagato took out Hanzo's regime, but what really has me worried right now is what's going down in Iwa…"

Naruto began to sweat. He didn't know why, but he had a feeling that he was related to whatever was happening. "What happened? Please don't tell me that they are calling for my head there already…"

The sage shook his head. "No, but this is certainly up there…" He took in a deep breath. "Apparently a couple of weeks ago, Han, the jinchūriki for the Gobi, escaped from his maximum security prison cell…" He paused. "According to my sources, not only is he as unstable as Gaara before you got to him, but he also has a major grudge against the entirety of Konoha…" He frowned. "Normally this wouldn't be much of a problem, except I know for a fact that this didn't happen at all in the previous timeline…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

"Is everything in place?" Whispered one voice in the dark cell as soon as the owner made sure that the guard wasn't paying attention.

"Yes." Replied another. "We have managed to get some more supporters from other sections of the prison."

"So in a few more days…" Started a younger voice hopefully.

"The Hyūga will reclaim their honor and the rightful order of Konoha shall finally be established." Chuckled a deep menacing voice as several white eyes glowed in the dark…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Okay… the latest Naruto fillers… need to burn in a fire. A big one. Fueled by the righteous fury that is my rage. They are simply just that bad.

Today's trivia of shock and awe. Watch the third Shippuden movie and look carefully at the guys the main bad guy kidnapped and killed to absorb their powers. They ALL show up in chapter 516 of the manga. So, hence, I have to use said movie when the time comes because in some obscurely awkward way, it actually **is** canon. Goodie.

Less than 140 reviews till the 2k mark guys. Keep it up! We are SO close!

Review, worship the log, seek out and destroy whoever wrote the plots for these recent Naruto fillers, and Review again!


	57. Stupidity can't be cured, but I like to think I have something to stave it away. It's roughly 3 feet long and used in baseball… I really need to work on my batting average…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 57: Stupidity can't be cured, but I like to think I have something to stave it away. It's roughly 3 feet long and used in baseball… I really need to work on my batting average…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Segment from _the Sky Mother's Wings_ …

He stood unrivaled despite his fears,

Wielding his own, and the holiest of tears.

A giant to all except to himself,

He desired for little and cared naught for wealth,

Yet despite his strength, his soul still suffered cracks,

He is unable to look at his bloody foot tracks.

So heed these words, for it is no ploy,

In his presence, never harm no small girl nor boy.

For these actions will unstable his mind's great throne,

Beware, beware, the eyes of stone…

o. o. o.

He stood alone, surrounded by red. His breath was ragged and heavy as he looked at his bloodstained hands…

It still wasn't enough. He didn't know if he was still hunting because he wanted absolute closure, or because he wanted to be covered in so much blood that the original stains on his hands that still haunted him couldn't be seen anymore. He had long since stopped attempting to try and tell the difference. All he wanted at the moment was to keep on killing those related to what brought this nightmare on him in the first place. It was the only thing that seemed to dull the pain now…

The bodies of his loved ones, of all the children he'd cared for, lying butchered, maimed, raped, and disfigured all over his home… seeing the lifeless eyes of his wife and adopted granddaughter as they breathed their last few gasps of air… his inability to help them, despite all the power he possessed… but it was the eyes that haunted him the most. Those cold, empty eyes that defied logic and remained in the body that still somehow possessed life… yet no life at all…

That memory had possessed him for years now, and did so again when he heard the sound of movement. He could have sworn he'd slaughtered everyone in the building… bits and pieces of his recent victims were still clinging to his clothes and hair. Oh well. It is not like they had a chance to escape anyway…

Slowly the monster turned to the source of the sound… and looked at his next target in the eyes…

And he screamed in absolute fear…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"All right, guys! Remember to do that homework stuff that Iruka-sensei was talking about earlier and we'll talk some more about why chakra control is actually important. As always, expect my reasons to be better and cooler than Iruka-sensei's." Naruto grinned as he stood on the ceiling of the classroom over his students before walking around the fan on the ceiling to the front of the room.

"Yes, Naruto-sensei!" The children replied as they got their things and started to exit the room. They had long since gotten used to the blonde's antics, so getting lectures from a person standing on the walls or on the ceiling wasn't anything new to them anymore. If anything, it only motivated them to learn as much as they could from the boy since he seemed to be less restrictive about the practical teachings of ninjutsu than Iruka was.

"Naruto. Do you really have to show off so much?" Iruka sighed as his assistant dropped down next to him. "Because of your lack of control, we're only just now catching up to what the curriculum says we should be at…"

"Yeah, theory wise." Naruto rolled his eyes. "But you've seen the brats on the field, Sensei. They're soaking up the taijutsu lessons and chakra control lessons like sponges. I only _hinted_ that half the things I do are related to chakra control, and in a week they're already halfway through with what we planned for the entire semester. Sure, half of them didn't do their history homework… but seriously, history homework? On the pre-nation era?" The boy stuck out his tongue. "No one's gonna actually use that in the field. Any and all paperwork assignments we assign the brats should be based on other villages, battle strategies, cultures of the places we are going to deal with in the future, and other things like that."

Iruka sighed. "I know, Naruto. Believe me, I am skeptical about the curriculum too at times, but we need to make sure that the academy students realize how the foundation of their home was established. Plus, there are divisions of shinobi here that are specialized in recording information for the Hokage's records, so teaching the subject early at least manages to route some of our future genin down that path."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean you have to spend freaking 8 hours a week on the subject for 4 years, Sensei. We're training ninja here, not historians. Hell, I almost fell asleep and fell off the ceiling during that long ass lecture of yours…"

"You nearly fell off because you let the blood pool in your head when you were on the ceiling for too long, Naruto." Iruka deadpanned.

"Oi Boss! What's keeping you? You promised to play ninja today!" Konohamaru yelled from the doorway as he pouted with his group standing behind him waiting anxiously.

"Ugh… I forgot… that was today…" Naruto groaned as he slumped over, progressively losing much of the energy he was showing before.

"You might want to take it easy, Naruto. I've heard you've been taking late night guard duty shifts 3 nights a week. Even you have your limits, you know." Iruka advised worriedly as he handed the boy the folder full of homework he needed graded by tomorrow.

"You forgot that I'm also helping out with the… _festival_ next week…" The blonde sighed feebly as he made a shadow clone, which grabbed the folder for him and disappeared with a shunshin. Iruka winced, remembering that Naruto's birthday was around the corner. The blonde had never been that welcome to the public on that day. The day of the Kyūbi festival was in reality a day of mourning, but there was still a festival when the sun went down. According to the Third, he had set it up like that because the Fourth wouldn't have wanted people to be so depressed about his death, but Iruka had a suspicion that it was really so that the festivities would give Naruto a reason to look forward to his birthday… not that it worked, really, but it was definitely a good attempt. "Don't worry about it. I have clones to get most of the boring work done for me, and tonight's one of my days off, so I can get some sleep…" He yawned before walking towards the Third's grandson. "Man Konohamaru, would it kill you to forget these things just once?"

Hanabi frowned and crossed her arms in a way that would authoritative if it weren't for the fact that she was 8; thus, it merely made her look cute. "How are we supposed to become decent shinobi if we forget or are late to everything we are assigned, Sensei?"

Naruto snorted and patted the girl on the head as he left the room. "Ah, Hanabi. So young… so naive…"

Iruka chuckled as he watched the group of kids walk out of the room, noting that he wasn't the only one as several students from other classes were busy watching them too. Naruto had become somewhat of a celebrity in the academy due to the fact that he was a teacher at the age of 13, and because his lessons were actually interesting and fun to participate in. "No one's watching…" He said to seemingly no one in the room, just before the clone the boy had hidden there dispelled itself.

Despite the initial complaints he had received from the parents that were obviously prejudiced against the boy, as he walked back to his desk, the scarred man had to admit that this year of teaching was a lot more fun and interesting than he had expected…

BANG!

As soon as he opened the drawer to his desk, a paint bomb exploded in the man's face, coating the top half of him with blue paint.

"God, I want this semester to end…"

o. o. o.

Hokage's office:

"So we couldn't talk about this earlier, but how do you think he's progressing?" Tsunade asked Jiraiya as she leaned back in her chair.

The Sage snorted as he ogled his teammate's cleavage for a good few seconds. "You kidding? When Kakashi told us Naruto could hold his own against him, he wasn't saying the brat could only take a hit. He would be on our level already if he wasn't stuck in that tiny ass body of his. Sticking him on anything less than a B-ranked mission when he's done teaching would be a waste. Hell, I'm surprised that you're still sending the rest of the brat's group on D-ranked missions…"

"You know as well as I do that there needs to be some extra sessions for Kin and Sai to fully integrate into our group, Jiraiya." Tsunade mused. "And then there's the fact that sending Naruto on a D-ranked mission will be pointless, because something will happen to bump it up two ranks at least."

Jiraiya laughed. "We could use him to test our other chūnin for extreme situations for evaluations. Stick him on a team and see how they manage themselves. If they die, we just write it off as due to false information. If they live, we consider them for promotion."

"True." Tsunade joined in. "Naruto can be their secret jōnin exam proctor. He can have a speech and everything."

"I heard he tried to copy Anko's Chūnin Exam entrance on the first day he taught at the academy and ended up slamming himself into the wall." The Sage chuckled. "Imagine having him do something like that every few weeks…"

"Please don't…" Tsunade wheezed holding her sides. "We finally have the idiot getting some brain cells. I don't want to stall his chances getting this damn hat so I can be free again…hahaha…"

The two spent several minutes laughing before calming down again. "So have you taken precautions about Han yet? I remember hearing about him stir all kinds of hell back in the Third War." The Sage asked tiredly as he sagged into his chair.

"Mmm." Tsunade sighed. "All low ranked missions that take place near or outside the border are required to have 4 man teams now, with one of the members being at least an experienced chūnin. This… for better or for worse… means that Naruto, Shikamaru, and Sakura will be leading teams outside of the country soon since they have already qualified for the part, and the rest that have been promoted won't be that far behind…" She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Do you really think that someone busted Han out?"

Jiraiya nodded solemnly. "Yeah. If I remember correctly, he was let out for good behavior last time, slightly before he was reported missing. We both know we would have heard by now if Akatsuki started moving early, so the only thing that could have been different is if someone else moved differently… which is bad, since we don't know who they are and they could possibly screw up the timeline big time. We wouldn't be able to predict what would happen in the future…"

"So in short, we're back where we started the last time, only we actually know more about Akatsuki and we're stronger… but one of the people we are supposed to be protecting happens to be a homicidal maniac with a grudge against us that's now running rampant around the Elemental Nations." Tsunade grunted. "Great. We can't even actively go after him because Iwa will misinterpret what we're trying to do as trying to get our hands on their OTHER jinchūriki and possibly start a war… and we can't ask Suna to get him either, because Suna HATES Iwa and they'd probably just try and kill Han…"

"At least he'll be harder to track down now." Jiraiya suggested, hoping to relieve some of the stress in his friend. "I mean, he is a shinobi after all…"

"He's as tall as you, wearing with blood red armor and has a FURNACE of all things stuck to his back." Tsunade deadpanned. "Even you don't naturally stick out that much."

The sage sagged. "Point taken… but that was a low blow, hime…" He suddenly struck a pose. "Too low! For there is no mortal man upon this blessed earth that stands out and glows more brilliantly that the infamous Toad Sage Jiraaaaaaaaa!" His long winded speech was cut short as Tsunade had walked around her desk and punched the man into a seemingly random wall. Seemingly random wall was not actually random as it had been secretly reinforced for the sole purpose of keeping the Toad Sage's body inside the room after sent flying into it via Tsunade's fist.

It had done wonders for the town's repair and renovation budget.

"Jiraiya, if you try to do that horrible introduction of yours again, I'll remind you why you really do fear my low blows." The Slug Sanin grunted as she walked back to her seat and assumed a thoughtful pose. "So, have you thought up of another way to deal with Han other than the 'leave everything alone and see how things end up' plan?"

The white haired man grunted as he picked himself off of the floor. "Damn… I swear, that wall is just giving you an excuse to hit me harder these days… I'm starting to understand why the crazy Ōgakari hates the floor so much… I think…"

"THE FLOOOOOORRRRR!" Roared a familiar insane voice from a fair distance away.

"Well, at least we know that Waltz and Crypt are back…" The two muttered at the same time while sweatdropping.

"To answer your question…" Jiraiya continued with a sigh. "No, I don't. I can go around later and gather some more info, but that's it. As much as I hate to say it, we can't touch Han. If we get too many of the jinchūriki directly connected to Konoha, we might as well put up a giant sign for the entirety of Akatsuki to attack us, and as prepared as we are, it would not be in our best interests to have 10 S-class missing-nin banging on our door, even if one of them is secretly on our side." He took out a bottle of expensive looking sake and took a swig out of it before handing it to the woman in front of him. "Plus, it might force our mystery enemy in the mask to make a move faster than we are prepared to handle… and from what our helpful friends have told us, that would be very, _very_ bad."

"So that means that we have two thirds of the jinchūriki linked to us in one way or another with Scabbard in Kumo, and one third of them are running around doing whatever they like and will most likely be captured." Tsunade muttered as she took a swig of the alcohol. "Wonderful."

"I don't like it as much as you do, leaving giant chakra monsters to be targeted by those guys without any backup." Jiraiya nodded somberly. "But you know as well as I do that it will cause Akatsuki to drop their guard. If all the jinchūriki were that much harder to get, they might try to get desperate… and we both know that a desperate S-class shinobi is one of the worst things to go up against."

Tsunade snorted. "You don't have to remind me. I'm looking at one who's been desperate to get in my pants for the past 40 years."

"And for a damn good reason, too." The perverted author grinned before barely managing to catch the sake bottle thrown at him. "Hey! Be careful with that bottle! The high class stuff always has ridiculously expensive containers! I could sell the bottle alone for a small fortune!"

"You don't have to tell me that, Jiraiya. I just felt that you in pain was more valuable to me that the bottle." The Hokage rolled her eyes before sagging in her chair. "I guess we just have to wait and see how things change…" She looked up at the man curiously. "… How's that secret project of yours going?"

The toad sage sobered quickly. "It's… progressing…" He sighed as he leaned back in his seat and put his hands over his face. "It's not like I don't have any inspiration or material to work off of, but it's still proving to be harder to make than I thought. You're talking to the man who's written nothing but Icha-Icha for over 15 years, Tsunade. It's hard for me to write a different kind of book after all this time. I hate to admit it, but this truly is one of those times where I wish I wasn't such a pervert. I can't write a damn chapter without trying to sex it up in some way…"

"I don't believe it." Tsunade laughed. "You… the self-proclaimed mega pervert of the Elemental Nations… admit to being too perverted." She sniggered. "You must have slipped something in that drink, because I'm clearly hearing things…"

"Ha, ha. Very funny." The sage rolled his eyes and took a lottery ticket. "I bet you were going to make another end of the world joke in a few seconds, so I came prepared."

The 50 year old beauty raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Oh? Another lottery ticket? You are a suave bastard, aren't you? Same rules as last time then?" She asked in a deep and somewhat lustful tone.

Jiraiya grinned. "Yep. You win… and we can both start to freak out and prepare the village for war. You lose, we start to drink some more, see what happens from there, and most likely spend the next morning debating if we should tell the brat all the details to get back at him for some of the crap he's put us through."

"Either way I win." The Senju sighed blissfully with a slight blush on her face. Slowly turning around so her teammate wouldn't see her make some seals, the woman grinned mischievously. "They announce the winning numbers at 11 tonight… and I'm done with all my paperwork for the day…" The drapes around the windows dropped all at once. "Since we both know how things are going to turn out, I guess we could get to the prize right now…" Jiraiya's eyes widened considerably before a very wide grin plastered itself on his face. "Let's see if I, with my considerable… medical skills can't help you deal with that bad naughty problem of yours…"

o. o. o.

Konoha Park:

Naruto looked up at the sky. "For some reason… I feel like crying right now… and I feel like I have to throw up with a religious passion that rivals the monks at the Temple of Fire, too… why? Why do I hurt so much?"

"Naruto-nii! You promised us you weren't going to be crazy this time!" Konohamaru yelled angrily as he stuck his head out of some bushes nearby.

"Does he do this a lot?" Hanabi asked Moegi and Udon from their hiding spots.

"Only when he thinks something really bad has happened." Udon sniffed. "Ones that he thinks are things that should never be known to the rest of humanity."

"Pretty much once every few weeks." Moegi summarized. "He normally gets back to normal after he dry heaves a little…" They paused as they saw the blonde hunch over and lean next to a tree. "Just like that…"

"And this guy is supposed to be teaching us?" Hanabi asked in pain as she felt a headache coming. She probably would have considered going home if she didn't hear a small rumble from nearby. "Huh? What's that?" She mused as she turned to try and find the source. She didn't have to look far as she saw a familiar giant frame sitting slumped over on a familiar bench on one of the largest hills in the park. "He's back!" The girl squealed in joy as she took off to the seemingly monstrous shape in the distance. "Old Man is back!"

"Old Man?" Udon asked as he followed the girl. "You mean Waltz Ōgakari? The Giant?"

"Let's go see him!" Moegi said excitedly as she ran forward. "He always has the best stories!"

"Old Man!" Hanabi yelled as she ran to the slumped figure, catching his attention.

"Ah?" The tired man asked as he looked at the girl as she approached him. "Oh, Hanabi. I did not expect to see you so soon after getting back." He chuckled lightly as he patted a spot on the bench next to him. "Come. Sit and tell this geezer how life has been…" He turned to see the girl's followers. "Moegi. Udon. It is good to see you two as well. Where is young Konohamaru?"

"He's still with Naruto-nii-san, waiting for him to stop acting crazy again." Udon sniffed. "He'll find us soon enough."

"Of course." Waltz chuckled as he leaned back, causing the wood to crack on his spine. "You'll get used to that eventually. Have you three been studying hard in the academy? You haven't been causing your family any trouble, have you?"

All three shook their head in denial. "No sir. Naruto-sensei makes class actually fun, and we're learning a lot." Moegi replied.

"Good. Good. You have to prepare and train hard if you want to be ninja." Waltz nodded as he closed his eyes, revealing that the bags under them were significantly darker and deeper than normal. "I would be in a lot of pain if you got hurt on your first real mission after getting headbands…." He paused and looked far off into the distance, as if he was remembering something.

"Old Man? Is something wrong?" Hanabi asked curiously. "You seem tired."

"Hm? Oh, you don't have to worry about me…" The Ōgakari sighed almost reluctantly. "I just haven't had much sleep…" He nodded his head to a large hole next to the bench that the children had not noticed before. "Crypt has been more active than normal lately, and it's starting to take its toll on me…"

"I WILL NOT REST UNTIL I FIND THE LAIR OF THE MAN-BEAR-PIG PEOPLE!" Shouted a familiar insane voice from the hole. A few moments later, a large and menacing roar rose from the hole, scaring the children, but didn't cause the old man to flinch in the slightest. "CURSES! IT'S JUST ANOTHER HIDDEN CAVE OF PREHISTORIC NEWCOMERS CLUB KITCHEN MITTS! I WILL NOT BE DETERRED IN MY MISSION! THE SHRUBBERY SHALL PREVAIL!"

"You might want to step away from the hole…" Waltz advised as a small rumbling became apparent. Just as the children moved back, a plume of blood red fire shot up from the hole and several meters into the air before it died. "Same rules that apply to Crypt's mouth apply with holes in the ground that Crypt's made while he's in them. Stay away at all times unless advised otherwise."

"S-scary…" Udon shivered as he retreated to the non-fire prone portion of the bench.

"Old Man, where were you?" Moegi asked curiously. "You haven't been to the park for a while and mommy says that you haven't been at the hospital either."

The Ōgakari smiled gently. "Ah. I'm sorry little ones, but I had to do some secret ninja things with my family for a while. Young Shadow is still off managing some things for us, so Crypt and I came back early." He winked at them slyly. "Don't worry. Hopefully, by the time you reach my age, you will be strong enough to do these things too."

"Hey! There's no way it will take me that long to get strong." Hanabi pouted. "Watch. I will become as strong as Nee-san when I'm her age. I train a lot and I can tell that I'm getting stronger every day! Don't underestimate a Hyūga."

"Don't forget about us, Hanabi! We're gonna be strong too!" Moegi crossed her arms. "I'm gonna be one of the most beautiful and strongest kunoichi in Konoha…"

"I just don't want anyone to get hurt or get into anything too dangerous." Udon sniffed before getting death glares from the two girls next to him, causing Waltz to laugh.

"Well, you certainly chose an interesting profession then." A new voice commented, drawing all of their attention to Naruto and Konohamaru as they walked up to the group. "What up old old man? When did you get back? You look like crap."

"Nothing much, punching bag." Waltz shrugged. "I just returned with Crypt a little while ago and wanted to rest here for a little while…"

"Punching bag?" Hanabi asked curiously.

"He trained me… and it hurt… me… a lot…" The boy admitted with a small shiver.

"Aw. And here I thought we were bonding the entire time…" The Ōgakari grinned mischievously, which looked somewhat evil due to the large number of wrinkles on his face.

"Just as a precaution, any time an Ōgakari says the word 'bonding' and is talking about themselves and another person… it really means that they are going to torture or humiliate said person in a grotesque fashion." Naruto lectured irritably.

"Come now, it wasn't that bad." Waltz tried to defend himself.

"You almost directly hit me with an attack that made a crater the size of the lake there and almost killed me even WITH my healing factor." The boy grunted, clearly trying not re-live the experience and pointed to the lake in front of them.

"No way!" Moegi gaped. "I don't believe you could do something like that!"

"Well, I am old…" Waltz looked away childishly. "… but it is true."

"Prove it, you geezer!" Konohamaru grinned. "I bet you're bluffing!"

"Oh dear… it seems as if I'm being called out…" Waltz chuckled as he looked around to see what he could do. It was early October and it was starting to get chilly and late, so nobody was swimming, or nearby for that matter. The hills next to the lake made it so that it could swell a decent size before anyone would actually get trapped. It had been a while since he himself actually did something that his family would… approve of. "Hmm… well… tell you what…" He grinned gently as he hunched his massive frame over more. "If you promise me you won't tell anyone that I did this, I'll show you something cool…"

"We promise." All 4 children said at once, excited as to what amazing thing the old man was going to do.

"Please don't pin this on me…" Naruto wept. "I actually want to get some sleep tonight."

"Don't worry." The old man chuckled as he pointed to the lake and stretched out one of his massive arms. "I'll make sure that no one will know I did this but us…" He calmed down a bit before his hand made a small and slow grasping gesture, slowly forming his hand into a fist. Naruto shifted uneasily as he felt the old man's Presence, though he was the only one to do so since only a tiny amount of power was leaking out and no one else around was sensitive to that sort of power. Even in small quantities, the geezer's power was impossibly potent to those who knew what to look for. The blonde tracked the old man's focus to the direct center of the lake, but he couldn't tell what he was doing because it was happening underneath the surface of the water.

"Bang." The old man grinned as he clenched his fist for a split second. In the next, a massive explosion in the center of the lake took everyone by surprise, since they had no warning that that was going to happen. The plume of water shot over 50 feet into the air as a massive wave widened in all directions, eventually surging onto the beach and drenching a decent portion of the park with a small flood. Luckily, no one was close enough to the lake to get hit by the wave, but it still shocked and scared the people who could see what just happened.

"Ah! Is sister here already?!" Crypt's voice echoed from the hole he was in. "I haven't obtained the mystical subwoofer of fish oil lamp posts for her yet! She will remove my spleen through my googolplex for this travesty!"

"You don't have a googolplex, Crypt, you sold it to that man a few years back for a half-eaten chicken sandwich with a sock in it." Waltz rolled his eyes.

"Exactly!" Replied the man in the lord knows how deep hole.

"Cool!" Konohamaru gaped. "How did you do that? You didn't even use seals!"

The old man grinned as he patted the boy on the head gently. "Sorry. It's a secret. If you want to learn how to do it, you'll have to train really hard and figure it out for yourself… well, that and hope you are a water element like me… otherwise, it might just be a bit out of your reach." He glanced at the other children and saw their slightly depressed faces. "Well…" He mused and put on a thoughtful look, stroking his beard in a comical fashion. "I guess I can give you all a small hint…" He didn't have to look as the children looked at him hopefully. "But I'm not sure you're ready for such important information…"

"Yes we are!" Konohamaru and Hanabi yelled as they ran towards the laughing immortal and clung to his coat. "Tell us!"

"I'm not too sure…" The old man grinned. "That's not really how respected shinobi of the future are supposed to ask for favors if they are trying to get something from an ally…"

"Please Ōgakari-sama." Moegi asked with big teary eyes. "May we learn your special secret so we can become stronger?"

Waltz sweatdropped. "Not exactly something an experienced shinobi would normally do… but I'll let it pass this once." Naruto slapped his forehead. "The key to using all forms of powerful techniques… including my families is…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Hard work and chakra control…"

"Oh come on!" Konohamaru pouted. "That's obvious!"

"Oh really?" The old man raised an eyebrow. "You didn't let me finish. I was going to explain that by working your body and mind hard, your chakra reserves will increase, and the quality of your chakra will too if you work at it hard enough. With enough chakra control, no technique will be outside your grasp except for maybe a small handful that require special conditions." He held up a finger. "I worked hard as a child, and I still do. Because of that, even though my reserves have gone down in my old age, the quality of my chakra has not diminished one bit. Mix that with my exceptional control, and you have an old man that can still take on the rest of his family without that much trouble." He leaned back in his seat. "Now… since you are all young, you should train hard… but you should also learn about yourselves as well. Learn about your strengths, your weaknesses… what element you are aligned to. The teachers say it's best to not train you in your element until you are chūnin… buuuut…" He grinned and winked at them. "I find it's best to teach those things at early ages… the basics, at least."

"Um… you know the reason why we don't teach the people element stuff anymore 'til they reach chūnin rank is because we're in the Land of Fire…" Naruto deadpanned. "Too many cases of kids burning their lungs by accident and killing themselves trying to do the big stuff too early… and arson…lots and lots of arson…" He shrugged. "But what the heck. If the brats want to give themselves third degrees for the sake of looking cool, who am I to judge?"

"I don't look cool, I am cool!" Konohamaru countered defiantly.

"Says the idiot who has a helmet on his head." Hanabi rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"You weren't saying that when I head butted you with this baby last time we fought!" Konohamaru grinned.

Waltz winced. "Ow. Maybe you children should have some more supervisors when you are off playing…" He paused and looked up. "Okay…" He whispered. "I think some ANBU are coming. Remember, we don't know anything… wait… new plan… it's all Crypt's fault."

"I don't know what you just said but I like it! Hey! I found a nickel!" Said patsy agreed from the hole.

o. o. o.

Konoha Prison:

It was 2:30 in the morning, and the guards were in the middle of their shift change. Normally it would have been done by now, but since there were so many prisoners of war from the invasion and roughly a quarter of the Hyūga ex-Main house was still locked up there, there had to be more guards stationed in the compound until Konoha could figure out what to do with them all. Some of the POWs had been released for cooperating and giving information, but for the most part the prison was crammed, and the guards were having one hell of a time trying to keep everything on a timetable…

Unfortunately for them, that only made the upcoming events easier to pull off for the opposing side.

"I heard that the Uzumaki kid's been doing both guard duty on the wall and teaching at the academy lately…" Mused one of the guards that was just switched in to another. "I don't know whether to pity or be jealous of the brats he's teaching…"

"No kidding?" Snorted the other guard. "I heard that the kid's traded his stupidity for insanity, almost like he's become a mini-Ōgakari. I only hope he ends up like the old one. He actually seemed nice and had a decent head on his shoulders."

"Damn good medic, too." The first guard nodded. "He helped out with my sister's operation and had her out in record time." He cracked his neck. "But still, back to Uzumaki. I still can't believe he's gotten so strong. I heard that he makes his clones do a lot of his work for him so the areas he works with get their stuff done in record time, lucky bastards. Yoshi claims the kid was a godsend on guard duty on the wall last week. The clones did all the work and they spent half the time playing poker… though at that point, Yoshi also said that he learned to never bet against the kid when the stakes were high for some reason. Anyways… I'm halfway willing to ask for him to do shifts here to lessen the load we get. It's hard to believe we're talking about the same idiot who painted the Hokage's monument now that he's already pretty much mastered two elements and is almost a special jōnin already. We haven't seen anyone go up through the ranks that quickly in a while…"

The other guard grunted. "True, but when you think of the guys who have and their personalities…" The two paused as they thought of Gai, Kakashi, Itachi, and several other… 'prominent' shinobi. "Well… at least we know what we're in for." He sighed… just before a kunai lodged itself in his skull, killing him instantly.

"Well… what do you know?" Chuckled a sadistic voice down the hall from the guards. "He didn't know after all…" There was more dark laughter. "I apologize for the crude timing, but I just couldn't help myself…"

"Who's there? Show yourself!" The guard yelled loudly as he edged towards the emergency seal that would immediately lock down the place and send word outside that something had gone wrong.

"Oh, don't bother with the emergency switch." Sighed the smooth voice of the assailant as he and several other bodies walked towards the clearly outmatched man. "The prison by this point has already been cut off from the outside, and if memory serves, many of the guards in the observation areas have been dealt with by this point…" The speaker walked into the light, revealing himself to be a Hyūga, followed by several more of his kinsman, and oddly enough some Oto prisoners.

"Hyūga?" The guard stammered in shock. "How did you manage to get out? And why are you teaming up with the Oto prisoners of all people?"

The Hyūga smirked and shrugged sympathetically. "Normally I would not bother explaining such mundane details to commoners such as yourself, but I feel generous, and it is the least I can do for a soon to be dead man…" He paused as the sound of someone screaming echoed through the halls. "Hm. I guess it was too much to ask for our new help to try and do things quietly, I suppose… now about our escape…" Before the guard could react, the speaker rushed forward and shut off the chakra system in his arms and legs, causing the man to collapse.

"Ah yes. Well, it was quite simple, really. Despite your claims to be diligent, you paltry guards seemed to have forgotten that many of our clansmen are rather skilled in the sealing arts. It did not take long for them to make some counterseals to the restraints that block our chakra and our bloodline. As for our new allies… well, they were just dying for the chance to get back at Konoha again for their humiliating loss and wanted out, so we came to an agreement. We free them, and they cause a little commotion for us and take our orders for a small while. As for what we want? We simply want to get our family back to the way it is supposed to be. Rather simple, don't you think?"

"You won't get away with this." The guard growled. "Whatever you're up to, it won't gack!" The guard gasped before he slumped over dead, several rusted kunai and shuriken embedded in his stomach and chest.

"Sorry. Couldn't help it." Snorted one of the Oto escapees. "I always get twitchy when someone spews out overused crap like that."

"I wouldn't have minded if there wasn't a chance the flying blood could have gotten onto me." Frowned the lead Hyūga. "Next time, be more careful."

"Yes, Mom." The ninja rolled his eyes condescendingly, not at all guilty that he'd just murdered a man in cold blood. "So, just going over the plan again. Most of us are allowed to go nuts so long as we draw attention away from you guys. A couple of squads go with one group, and those four weird guys protect you guys, right?"

"I would have used different words, but yes. That is correct." The Hyūga nodded with a slightly irritated look. "So long as you ensure that Konoha's forces are looking away from the Hyūga compound, you are free to do as you wish…"

The Oto shinobi smirked. "Raise some hell for those bastards in return for our freedom? Yeah, I think that'll work for us."

o. o. o.

Later that morning:

Jiraiya yawned as he picked himself off of Tsunade's desk and looked around for his shirt. "If only she let me use her for my books…" He chuckled to himself, remembering what happened the previous night. "She'd never have to worry about gambling debts again…"

The man froze as a firm hand gripped his arm tightly. "1. Never. 2. I'm surprised you never used that argument to try and get to me when we were younger." Tsunade's muffled voice from his side, lying down on her desk and preventing the man from getting another look at her naked upper body.

The sage snorted. "Heh. I didn't want you to think that I thought of you as some kind of prostitute… albeit a very expensive and worthwhile one…"

"Well, it's nice to know that the twins were worth the trouble of lugging them around for all these years." Tsunade groaned as she picked herself up and grabbed her undershirt that she wore under her vest. The woman found early on that bras were unreliable for combat when dealing with breasts of her size, so she just used her obscene chakra control to keep her equally obscene assets in place. She laughed to herself, thinking how the entire shinobi populace would react if they found out one of the keys to getting perfect breasts was a chakra control exercise...

She had a feeling that Sakura would try to kill her if she let that secret out now, especially after that time she'd tried to calm the girl down after one minor breakdown about not being as developed as Ino or Hinata shortly before Naruto came back from his training trip with Jiraiya…

"More than you will ever know…" Jiraiya sniggered as he picked up his pants and kissed his secret lover on the cheek before reaching for his shirt and vest. "You know, we never did listen to the lottery numbers last night." He mused as he picked up the ticket.

"Oh come off it, pervert." The woman sighed, stretching her arms as her shirt slipped over her head. "You know I never win these things."

"True. But it would be nice to know if I accidentally knocked you up or something…" The man giggled childishly, only to barely dodge one of the woman's high heeled sandals flying through the air. He landed near to the front door, his clothes put on in the process. "Hold that thought for a moment, hime…" He grinned and slid out the door. "Excuse me, do you have the morning paper? It should have last night's lottery numbers."

"Sure, Jiraiya-sama." Replied the early morning secretary. Tsunade heard the shuffling of papers. "What's that smell?"

"Greatness! Greatness and an unusual amount of toad oil!" The man replied almost too happily as a hand reached out from the office and dragged the pervert back inside rather violently and closed the door.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't give you a vasectomy without any anesthetic right now." The Slug Sannin growled angrily at the grinning man as he casually flipped through the paper.

"Well I could give you a… load… of reasons really…" The white haired man giggled childishly as he stopped at the page he was looking for. "But I think the main reason why you wouldn't want to do that is because you won…" His face seemed to stay in its happy form, but the color drained rapidly from it all the same.

"Jiraiya, I know that you put yourself on a high pedestal and think you are the best thing to happen to women since sex, but I am not considerate enough to allow you to use that as an excuse." The woman growled, slightly too irritated to note the change in color in his face.

"T-Tsunade…" The man stammered as he took out the lottery ticket and handed it and the paper to the woman. "You won. The entire pot. All 100 million ryō of it…"

Tsunade froze for only a brief moment before she looked at both pieces of paper carefully. The numbers matched. "… Oh… fuck… me…"

There was a frantic knocking on Tsunade's door. "Tsunade-sama! It's an emergency!"

o. o. o.

In a nearby training field:

"As many times as I see you guys in action, I can still never believe it." Kin sighed as she watched Tenten and Sasuke slash and weave around each other with their katana in hand. "I mean, you guys are my age, but you're all pretty much as strong as Orochimaru's Sound Four despite not going through the hell we had in Oto. I admit that Gai-sensei is a nut, but still other than forcing us to exercise into the ground, there isn't much actual practice of shinobi skills…"

Neji sighed as he looked up from his scroll on muscle memory. "That is only due to the fact that we have not received much attention from the Ōgakari lately. Their training methods are a bit more… unique."

"Indeed. Before the exams, we were frequently tasked with overcoming many challenges!" Lee said in an upbeat tone as he sat to the other side of the girl. According to him, it was one of his 'Youthful days of rest'.

"Whatever." Kin sighed as she twirled a senbon in her fingers, a habit she had done before her conversion that she'd only recently picked up again due to her control being high enough that she wouldn't break the small needles anymore. "It's nicer than back home… even if I have to deal with those horrible… HORRIBLE D-ranked missions…" They all shivered. "We left those to the academy students. By the time we made genin rank in Oto, we were sent headfirst into C-ranks."

Clang! Sasuke just barely managed to block Tenten's recreation of Zangetsu with his own sword, his knees buckled under the pressure before he managed to jump away from the next attack from its wielder.

"Be grateful Naruto wasn't from your village, then." Neji commented, not at all distracted by the fight in front of him. "According to his group, at least half the missions he goes on end up being mislabeled and end up at least a rank higher than they were originally classified."

"Two ranks higher!" Sasuke corrected as he channeled lightning chakra through his sword and attempted to counter Tenten's onslaught.

"I stand corrected." Neji replied in a disinterested tone as he closed his book and turned to Kin. "Think of a color." He ordered bluntly. Rolling her eyes, Kin nodded, knowing exactly what he was asking. "Blue." He said after a couple of seconds.

"Right." She sighed.

"Think of a number." He continued. Another few seconds of looking at her later he nodded. "16."

"2 for 2." Kin replied. "You know, you should do birthday parties."

"Not a chance in hell. Think of a card." The prodigy said in a non-comical tone before pausing for a good 10 seconds. "Three of spades."

"Three of clubs, but close." The girl smirked.

"You're lying, I was right." Neji countered without blinking.

"Damn it." Kin pouted.

"A youthful attempt, Kin-chan! It is unfortunate that you are not as skilled as I am at hiding information." Lee sniggered.

"Lee, the only reason why you still get away with it is because your eyebrows are the second most distracting body part on a human face I have ever seen… second to Gai-sensei's eyebrows." Neji grunted before he paused and quickly activated his eyes without seals.

"What's up?" Kin whispered, not betraying the slight nervous feeling she'd suddenly gotten.

"How many?" Lee asked, instinctively picking up what his teammate was feeling just a moment before.

"8… armed and not wearing and headbands…" Neji frowned, noting that Sasuke and Tenten were slowing down their spar noticeably, indicating that they knew something was off too. "They're all shinobi… and one of them looks like he might be a problem… they don't seem to know that we know about them yet…"

"Hey guys, having fun lounging about? It almost seems out of place for me to be doing the heavy stuff while you two do all the light exercises." Tenten asked as she and Sasuke walked to them with a wide grin. Translation: I get the leader while you take on the small fry.

Neji shook his head, his eyes still on. "No, Tenten. We're just taking our time. Right now, you and Sasuke have used up a bit of your stamina while the rest of us are still fully rested. It's still early and we should pace ourselves. Apparently, getting promoted has slightly gotten to your head." Translation: You've been sparring with Sasuke for a while, so you aren't at your best. Wait and see what these guys want and what they can do before we act. Apparently, getting promoted has slightly gotten to your head.

Sasuke snorted in amusement, though he too could tell that something was not right.

Tenten pouted. "Humph. Fine, jerk. Like it or not though, I still outrank you, so you still have to do what I say on missions." Translation: You're paying for dinner tonight for that jab.

Neji smirked briefly before putting his book back into his weapons pouch. "Whatever you say, Tenten-sama…" He stood up and took a kunai from his pouch, prompting the other two to get up as well. "You can come out now. I can tell there are 8 of you hiding there."

There was a brief pause before a group of deep laughs made their way through the trees. "Heh. Well, ain't this ironic. We get busted out by the white eyed freaks, only to have to take on another one to escape." Soon all 8 soon to be assailants appeared from the woods, each one grinning sadistically despite the fact that they were all dirty and clothed lightly. The biggest member was a man who stood a head taller than the rest with a scar going over one eye and a thick mop of brown hair.

Warning sirens sounded in Neji's head. "Care to repeat that?" The Hyūga asked coldly. Despite what he wanted to believe, he was already connecting the dots rapidly in his head.

"N-No way…" Kin stammered as she stepped back nervously. "Tsubasa? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Kin? We could ask you the same damn thing!" The apparent leader replied defiantly. "The fuck are you doing with a Leaf headband after all the shit they did to us?!"

"These unyouthful individuals appear to be from Sound…" Lee commented as he slid into the Gōken stance. "And from the manner they were speaking, it seems that they were among the ones we captured during the invasion…"

"Heh. This makes things better…" Chuckled a scantily clad, yet rather flat, woman licking the kunai in her hand. "Kin, come back with us and we'll butcher these tree huggers. Fuck Konoha and Oto. We'll just go around and kill and steal from whoever we want…"

For a brief moment, everyone's attention turned to the frozen stiff girl whose eyes were wide in fear. "Kin-chan…" Lee whispered worriedly.

"Why… the hell would I do that, you BASTARDS?!" The girl exploded angrily, whipping out several senbon in the process. "Half of you pricks used to torture me for fun and the other half just thought it was some big joke! Tsubasa, you were the one to get Dosu and Zaku to start raping me soon after our team was formed!" The girl fumed angrily. "I have a decent life for once staying here, and I'm not giving it up for you pricks!"

"A bit too much information, but otherwise well said." Sasuke snorted as he stepped up and shifted his shirt over to reveal his modified Curse Seal. "Recognize this?" He grinned as the Oto shinobi stopped in their tracks. "I thought so."

"A Curse Seal?" Hissed one of the 8. "Why the fuck does a brat like him have that?"

"I'm starting to have doubts about taking them on…" Whispered another.

"Calm down." Tsubasa snorted. "The brat probably doesn't even know how to use it correctly. Besides, we still outnumber the snots and we're a good distance away from the village, so we can be as rough as we want." He grinned as he glanced at Kin. "Too bad, little bitch. You had your chance to live, but you wasted it."

"Hm. You make it sound like I actually need to use it to beat you weaklings…" Sasuke snorted before glaring forward in general. "Neji and Lee. Tenten, Kin, and myself." The rest of the Konoha shinobi nodded, instantly knowing that Sasuke had just told them who was going short range and who was doing mid/long range combat.

Neji frowned. "Just makes sure that we keep some of them alive. I fear my clan is in danger and I need all the information I can get…" He paused before smirking. "I see that Uzumaki has been influencing you, Uchiha…"

"Fire Style! Grand Fireball Technique!" Roared a familiar voice from behind the soon to be assailants, causing them to freeze and move their asses away from the massive fireball that was barreling down on them from behind.

"What can I say? Shadow clones are damn useful…" The Uchiha grinned as he readied some shuriken and ninja wire to take down the distracted opponents. Next to him, he saw Kin throw multiple senbon while Tenten took out her bow…

o. o. o.

At the Academy:

"Class, today we have some surprise guests with us." Iruka said with a somewhat strained smile in front of his class while the fans hanging from the ceiling rotated lazily. "Will you please welcome Waltz Ōgakari and… Crypt Ōga… Where is he?" The man looked around curiously.

The giant man sighed and pointed to the area behind Iruka's desk, where the insane man was laying on the ground with his head plowed through a wall. "I apologize for the damages, but I believe it is safer for everyone this way…"

"He was planning on biting Hanabi's head to see what kind of flavor she was…" Naruto whispered to the twitching scarred teacher as if it was nothing out of the ordinary… which it was, considering this was Crypt they were talking about.

"Right… so, please welcome Waltz Ōgakari, class." The teacher wept.

"It's the giant…" Whispered one student.

"I heard he's really strong…" Whispered another.

"My cousin told me he's as powerful as Hokage-sama…" A girl said in awe.

"Do you think he'll show us something cool?" Asked another boy.

"It's good to be the king…" Chuckled Waltz as he rested his eyes on the curious gazes of the children. So full of life and innocence… it was times like this that made him feel not as old as he really was… and yet…

"Does anyone have any questions for Ōgakari-sama?" Iruka asked, gaining composure. "Not you, Naruto… okay, Yuki."

Naruto pouted as the girl stood up. "Ōgakari-sama, what is it like being a clan elder?"

Waltz smiled gently. "Ah. That is an interesting question, young one. You see, there are many different answers to that question depending on which clan you ask… however, I can give you the general idea of what it is like. As an elder, you tend to stay away from the field of battle. You are more valuable at home, using your experiences to aid and advise those in your clan. There are some things that you can never simply learn from books, which is where we come in, to moan and complain that everyone else is wrong and stupid while looking for our false teeth." The children giggled at the small comment. "But in reality, the reason why those in my position tend to be rather rude and abrupt is because we are tired. We have seen many things that have made life rather tiring and stressful, and simply don't want to deal with the new issues that almost seem childish… so if you live in a clan, try to remember your elder's next birthday. They'll be less likely to bore you to death with those stories we like to use. Don't let us fool you, we know very well how boring we really are…"

The children giggled again before they raised their hands again eagerly. "Yes, Kobayashi." Iruka pointed to a boy this time.

"Where is your clan from?" The boy asked curiously. "I've heard people say that your clan just popped from nowhere. Your name doesn't show up in history books or anything."

Waltz chuckled. "Well young one, my family and I have no real place of origin. For a very long time we have traveled from country to country, trading and interacting with the locals, making friends and enemies alike… we've even unfortunately fought in a few wars due to being at the wrong place at the wrong time…"

"Kawa." Iruka indicated, pointing to a young Inuzuka girl.

"What kind of ninjutsu do you use and what do you specialize in?" Kawa asked curiously

Waltz stroked his beard in a comical fashion and pretended to ponder that statement. "Hmmm. An interesting question. Normally, I would like to keep my abilities a secret from people… but you all look trustworthy so I think I can tell you…" He grinned, getting excited looks from his listeners. "As many of you do or don't know, I do most of my work at the hospital. I am very experienced in the medical arts, so much so that I am considered second only to Tsunade-sama when it comes to medical knowledge." ' _And that's because I hold back a bit_.' The old man mentally chuckled. "I can, to a certain extent, replicate her strength technique as well due to my very high chakra control. If you can't tell already… I am a taijutsu based fighter." He pulled back one of his sleeves to show his very large and muscular arm, flexing it for the class. "In addition to those skills though, I am also very adept at using Water Style ninjutsu… though I cannot produce any of my own. I prefer to use the water I control to make very strong barriers to attack and defend with…" The man's body momentarily went ridged and his eyes seemed to look in various directions before he took out a scroll. "How about an example? I don't have much time left before my services are required elsewhere, so if you would all hide under your desks quickly…"

"6 of them… and it looks like they have gas canisters…" Naruto frowned; ignoring Iruka's confused looks and the eager students climbing under their desks.

"Naruto? What's wrong?" Iruka asked nervously as Waltz took out a scroll and sprayed water over the desks the children were hiding on. Within moments, the wooden frames were shining and the entrances were sealed off by hexagonal crystal plates.

"We're about to find out." Naruto frowned as the windows of the classroom burst in, causing many of the class members to scream in fear. The gas canisters that were thrown in exploded, causing the entire room to fill up with smog. Naruto and Waltz were of course unaffected and the blonde quickly used his Seventh Sense to blow the smog back out quickly while deflecting all the kunai that were thrown in his and Iruka's direction.

"Heheh…" Chuckled an overconfident voice as the thick air was cleaned again. "So the rumors were true. The demon is teaching at the academy… what on earth was the Hokage thinking?"

Naruto deadpanned. "I could ask you the same thing, dumbass. What the hell are you doing attacking a building that's within spitting distance of the Hokage's tower?" (A/N: It's true. The academy is really freaking close to the tower.) ' _I have to take things in stride and not overreact. The brats could be in danger if I overdo things. I can't hurt them…'_ The blonde mused to himself before he paused in fear. ' _Wait… risking the kids' lives when WALTZ is around… oh FUCK!'_

"We won't be long." Sighed the speaker as the rest of the smoke disappeared, revealing that he was a Hyūga surrounded by several rather ragged looking men and women armed with kunai. "I'm just here for Hiashi's daughter, and then I'll be on my way. There seems to be quite a commotion back at the compound…"

"Hinata…" The blonde growled worriedly.

"Father…" Hanabi whimpered.

"So if you don't mind, demon, I'll just be leaving with young Hanabi-sama…" The man grinned before pausing. "Interesting, a barrier…" He turned to Waltz. "I assume that this is your doing… Ōgakari." The man's eyes grew cold.

"And if it is?" Waltz asked lazily, completely in character if not for the empty look in his cold blue eyes.

Naruto could feel that Crypt was shivering. That was not a good sign.

The Hyūga shrugged. "Well then, I'll have to ask you to please remove it, otherwise we may have to get a little violent… and we wouldn't want any of these children… accidentally… getting hurt in the process now… do we?"

"Stop talking… please stop talking… you really want to stop talking now…" Naruto whimpered as he edged away from Waltz, feeling the slow rise of the old man's monstrous Presence.

"Naruto, what's wrong?" Iruka asked, also feeling something was off but didn't know what.

"These guys are dead." The boy whispered back, having trouble keeping his body under control. "Very… very… dead…"

Waltz glared at the man for a few seconds before he started to smile and took a step forward. "Oh, don't underestimate me so much. I'm old, I admit, but my barrier technique is still quite potent, Hyūga… speaking of barriers, how was prison? Was it up to your high standards? You weren't taken advantage of, were you? I hear that it gets a bit rough in the showers occasionally, especially for those as soft as yourself."

All the invading shinobi could have sworn their hearts just skipped a beat when the man took that single step, but they ignored it for the time being and focused on the insults. Many of the Oto shinobi snorted and glanced at the Hyūga, remembering the several times that a few of the clan members got in over their heads inside the prison and were forced to learn their place in the food chain.

And then they heard a child scream from nearby.

Almost instantly the door to the room burst open, and a 7th shinobi holding a girl hostage burst into the room. "Heheh. Always plan ahead. Nice thinking, Hyūga." The sadistic woman grinned as she held a kunai under the frightened girl's neck. "No one comes into the room or the girl gets a red smile!" She roared, prompting the running teachers from outside to stop in their tracks.

Said Hyūga smirked confidently. "Did you honestly expect me not to have a backup when I saw that two Ōgakari and the Demon were in this room?" His smile dropped as his eyes activated. "The insane one. If you even try to make your seals, we will kill this girl."

"I take back what I said before…" Naruto said with wide eyes. "These guys are going to be butchered into little chunks of meat… KIDS! CLOSE YOUR EYES AND EARS NOW! DO AS I SAY!"

"He wasn't going to anyways. He actually knows better." Waltz growled as he took another step forward, causing everyone's hearts to skip again. "You fools made several stupid mistakes and one _hell_ of a retarded mistake today." The man's posture slowly straightened, causing the deep hollow cracking of his spine to be heard by everyone in the room. "First of all, you called the boy a demon, knowing full well what will happen to you if you do. Your pathetic eyes should have seen by now that he is simply a very, very, crafty and clever little bastard." Naruto frowned, slowly translating what the old man had just hinted. "Next, you assume that you and your pathetic group of followers can even stand a chance against me, let alone all of us… I almost feel sorry for you little shits…" He took another step forward. Everyone in the room could tell that something was seriously wrong now.

"Third mistake…" He grinned sadistically as he turned to the woman holding the girl hostage. "Is that you only have one hostage. Everyone who even has some experience in the trade knows that you want to have at least 3 hostages on hand when things go bad. If you have two, you can kill one of them to show that you are serious, but then you have only one hostage left, and it is never a good thing to put all your eggs in one basket. Because you only have one person under your control, you have to keep her alive at all times; otherwise, you'll quickly find yourself backed into a corner with no way out." The air was cold as everyone listening could not believe what they were hearing from the pacifist of the Ōgakari clan. "Fourth… you forgot that the building is air conditioned."

Everyone paused in confusion, wondering what the hell the old man was talking about… when they remembered that there were several fans on the ceiling. Before anyone could react, wind chakra blades shot down from above and killed 3 of the Oto shinobi instantly, including the woman that had previously been holding the girl at knifepoint. With several explosions of smoke, the fans all transformed into the clones of Naruto that he had hidden before class had started for his small side game.

Iruka managed to catch the girl that was taken hostage before the woman's body fell on her. The child had passed out due to the stress she was put under.

"Hah! I was right!" Konohamaru shouted excitedly before he screamed in horror as one of the bodies fell near where he was hiding.

"Look at me, Hyūga…" Waltz ordered darkly, but also frightfully calmly as his unwavering gaze hypnotized his opponents. "Look into my eyes… and tell everyone what I am thinking… surely you can do that with those special pearls in your skull…"

"You…" The Hyūga growled, before pausing and swallowing heavily, unable to move an inch as the rest of the Oto-nin dispelled the clones with their kunai. All Main house Hyūga were trained to read a person's body movement in order to tell what they were thinking… but in addition to that, they were also taught specific warning signs and what they meant.

The Hyūga could tell that the old geezer in front of him wasn't thinking about killing him… he was planning on outright torturing and butchering him… and slaughtering his associates like livestock. That number of warning signs were only supposed to be found on madmen and the clinically deranged. "My god…" He whispered as he took a step back before realizing what he had done and attempted to regain his composure. "D-Despite what you think, I still have the advantage. You are held back by these brats." He turned to his remaining 4 shinobi. "Stall them! Remember that we are here for the girl!"

"'Bout time!" Yelled one anxious man as he charged ahead of the others at Waltz, unaware of the horrific end he was about to meet.

Without even hesitating, Waltz grabbed the man's arm and ripped it out of his shoulder socket in a single gesture, then seamlessly twirling the disembodied arm in his hand and impaling the arm through the shocked man's chest, hoisting his body up and literally nailing it to the rafters above his head.

All with one arm.

Naruto had distanced himself as far from Waltz as he could, and for good reason. Waltz was the only member of the Ōgakari that was truly afraid of something other than eternal life in the multiverse. Any time someone threatened to bring that something up, he would completely lose it and became an unstoppable juggernaut that slaughtered anything that he deemed to be an enemy until he calmed down again. All because of this one thing that still plagued the old man's dreams…

The dead eyes of a living child…

"Fifth mistake you made…" The old man growled, not at all caring that he was slowly being drenched in his victim's blood. His hands were red again. "You threatened to end a child's life in front of me…" He took another step forward, and several of the floorboards around him snapped instantly. "You threatened to show me those eyes again…"

o. o. o.

In another training ground nearby…

"Dodge!" Shino yelled as he and Chōji backed away from the legendary stupid brothers' attacks, just before the area they were in was mauled by the two massive men. "These men are certainly irksome. Despite their childish personalities, they have large amounts of chakra and physical strength, and their fat protects them from a lot of physical damage…"

"Then I'll just have to hit them harder then, won't I?" Chōji growled as he made some seals. "Partial Expansion technique!" He yelled as he punched out with his rapidly enlarging right arm in the direction of the right brother… only to barely miss just as it looked like it was going to hit.

"Whoa!" Raijin chuckled as he barely missed the attack. "That move hurts! Good thing the little boy doesn't know how to punch right! He's really sill…"

WHAM! Whatever the incredibly stupid man was going to say next was interrupted as Chōji's body flew towards him with his other arm, which was now expanding, and decked the man incredibly hard, launching him a significant distance back into the forest.

"Hidden Art: Broken Scales technique." The Akimichi grinned as his arm returned to its normal size.

"Brother!" Fūjin yelled, completely distracted from his own opponent and charged Chōji. "You hurt him!"

 _'The first punch was just a fake. He used it as an anchor and grabbed the ground behind his opponent, then canceled the technique in that arm to pull his body forward while he attacked with the other arm, giving him more attack power by doubling the speed at which his massive fist came in. Clever…'_ Shino mused as he commanded his swarm into action. ' _However, I do not want to be outdone…'_ "Hidden Art… Black Swarm…" Shino stated simply as a cloud of his insects surrounded his simplistic opponent, enveloping him so well that almost no one could see him.

"Argh! Stupid bugs! Leave me alone! I have to help brother!" Fūjin yelled as he tried to swat the insects away. His yelling increased as steams of the bugs scraped around him, cutting deeply into his skin and tearing at his clothes. "I said STOP IT!" He roared, slamming his fists onto the ground and creating a shockwave that blasted almost all the bugs away.

"Hmm…" Shino mused as he jumped back. "Unfortunate…" He glanced a bit to his side where the other brother was picking himself up and walking forward, albeit clearly dazed.

"Ugh. I'm dizzy and hungry brother…" Raijin moaned. "… and for some reason, my belly really hurts, but I don't think I have a tummy ache…"

"You must be really hungry then, Raijin." Fūjin replied as he stumbled to his sibling, bleeding a fair amount from his wounds but still clearly able to fight… though due to his wounds, he never noticed the bugs crawling from the back of his head down to his vest. "Hey I know! That kid has bugs living in him! We can kill him and eat the bugs! That fat kid also looks like he has lots of food on him too!"

"Any bright ideas, Shino?" Chōji panted. Despite his training, he still had some trouble using his new techniques for long amounts of time.

"We both have done some damage, so we know that they are not completely beyond our ability to overcome…." The Aburame mused. "You apparently broke some of your opponents' ribs, and I drained mine of a substantial amount of chakra and did damage to his joints and limbs…" He paused as he noted Chōji's condition. "Do you still have enough chakra for one of your infamous combos?" The Akimichi paused before nodding. "Then here is what we'll do… it is fortunate that I asked Hinata some of the specifics of how a person's chakra system works…"

o. o. o.

Nearby…

"What the hell is going on?" Kiba roared as he and Akamaru jumped back to Sai and Ino, who prevented the oncoming shinobi from advancing with their ink ninjutsu and poisoned weapons.

"It is obvious that there has been a breach of security, dickless…" Sai frowned as half of his lions were taken out in seconds while the rest managed to route the 3 oncoming shinobi away. The irregular team had just started training when 6 raggedly dressed shinobi came out of nowhere and decided to try and kill them. Ino had managed to stick a couple of them with slow acting poisonous kunai, but the rest were proving to be tricky to deal with since they kept on moving. "I will admit that our teamwork is far more effective than it normally is, though…"

"Life or death situations will do that to a person…" Ino grunted as she took out more sharp instruments in one hand and several pellets in the other. "We'll use Devil's Breath to lessen their numbers… thankfully, there aren't as many or as strong as they could be. Otherwise, we might be in trouble…"

"Be sure to keep one or two of them alive to practice with." Sai stated as he began drawing again. "From the way they are fighting, it seems like they are just buying time or simply don't care about winning or losing… which means it is likely that there is a main group somewhere else in the village."

"Well, isn't this a day of surprises…" Kiba snorted sarcastically as he took out some smoke bombs. "We get to test out all of our training in a real live scenario, and get stuck in some stupid conspiracy against the village…"

"Just another day in the life of a ninja, I guess…" Chuckled Ino as Sai's remaining ink lions managed to barely cluster the remaining shinobi before they were defeated. "After all this is settled, let's try and squeeze some cash from Tsunade-sama for our troubles…" And with that, several pellets began to fly through the air…

o. o. o.

Near the Academy:

Tsume Inuzuka was frantic as she bolted to the academy where her nephews were supposedly still in class. Word of the prison break only barely got out before things went to hell and fighting broke out all over the village. Random areas were being assaulted at once, thinning out the troops that were inside the village, and even though the village was supposed to be prepared for these kinds of situations, the woman had little doubt that they wouldn't be able to completely protect an entire academy's worth of students against a sudden assault.

Following the woman was an Akimichi couple and several other shinobi parents who were concerned with protecting their children. The woman had to smirk. Inuzuka or not, whenever a person's pup was threatened, even a Kage would be helpless before the wrath of its parents…

Before Tsume could think any further, however, she had to doge to the side quickly as something human sized flew through the air at incredible speeds, skimming off of the ground once before crashing into a distant building… and most likely through it.

"What in the world?" Whispered the Akimichi husband as he turned to see that the object had originated from a sizeable hole in the school. "Shit! They've gotten into the academy!"

"Wait!" Kuromaru growled as he looked at the spot where the object hit the ground… which was stained red. "That's blood…" He sniffed. "It was a human… a very bloody human…" His eyes suddenly widened. "What… it… what is he doing… why…?"

"Kuromaru? What is the matter?" Tsume asked worriedly as she looked around and expanded her senses… only to shiver as she felt what her partner was feeling.

"My god… such killing intent…" Shivered one of the more experienced shinobi parents. "Who on earth is in there?"

"Tsume… it's…" Kuromaru stated, extremely unnerved…

"This isn't good…" The Inuzuka leader shivered, remembering the only other time she had felt the old man truly express his displeasure. "Everyone! Be extremely careful! And do exactly as I say." She ordered. "Inside the building right now is something just as, if not even more dangerous than, several dozen platoons of enemy shinobi armed to the teeth and waiting to fight you."

"What?" Hissed an unnerved mother. "What on earth is in there?"

"A truly… truly… pissed off Ōgakari…" The woman replied, nodding to the human projectile and letting her words sink in. "I made the mistake once of saying the wrong thing in front of them… and I almost ended up like that dead idiot… though I was lucky and they pulled their punches..." She froze as a blood curdling scream reached their ears from the building, the scream of a man being tortured. "Really… really lucky…" She said to herself as she took in a deep breath. "Just shut up and follow my lead…" She repeated as she jumped towards the building and slowly climbed through the front hole, preparing herself for a massacre. Too bad it was nowhere near the level she should have braced herself for.

Blood. Lots and lots of blood. That was Tsume's first thought as her nose and eyes were assaulted by the room. She saw a body in several pieces strewn against the floor, in several corners of the room. One was, somehow, pinned to the ceiling by what appeared to be its own dismembered arm, and a fourth was… well, it couldn't be considered a body at that point… more like a limbless carcass and several large red chunks of meat and organs, bleeding over a good portion of the floor and ceiling. Three bodies were still pretty much untouched other than the stab wound at the top of their heads, probably meaning that someone else had taken them down. She was thankful for that… otherwise, Tsume would have guessed (correctly) that the perpetrator of the violent killings would have managed to paint all the walls and ceiling completely red.

Said blood covered genocide specialist was grinning insanely in front of a still alive Hyūga, pinned to the back wall with several wooden splinters, and holding a mirror in one massive bloody hand in front of his victim's face, twirling one of his victim's eyeballs in the other. "Now then… since I have sufficiently shown you how much your eyes matter to me… I expect you to answer some questions I have. If you don't… well… let's just say that as a medic, I am aware of exactly what can kill you… and what can't… I really could keep on doing this to you all day long…" He chuckled in a dark and gleeful tone, almost hoping the fool in front of him would try to hold out on him as he poked a massive finger through one of his victim's many wounds.

"I'll tell you! I'll tell you! Just stop!" The once clean and pristine man screamed hysterically. "Just stop for the love of god stoooop!"

"My god…" Whispered one of the parents as they took everything in. "This is…" He had to pause to prevent himself from throwing up.

"The idiots broke one of the major rules of the Ōgakari…" Naruto said in a dead tone, drawing everyone's attention to the blonde, who was slumped in the closest corner to the group and was shivering uncontrollably. "They almost killed a kid in front of the old man. I-I was told he would react like this… I even saw pictures of what happened to people that broke that rule… but…" He shivered again. "To actually see it happen… he… forced that guy to watch as he pulled out his own eyeball…"

"And… the children?" Tsume swallowed heavily, praying that none of the blood was from the students.

"Under their desks and protected by the old man's barrier…" The blonde answered. "I managed to get them to close their eyes and close their ears before… this… happened, but odds are that they've passed out from being so close to Waltz when he was flaring his Presence… hell, I almost passed out a few times and I'm used to this kind of stuff…" He nodded his head to the hallway. "Iruka-sensei had a girl who was held hostage earlier… he managed to get her out before things got too… messy."

"G-good…" The leader of the Inuzuka stammered before an inhuman pressure made itself known again for a moment. Turning around, she saw that the old man was walking calmly towards the group.

"Tsume." The man acknowledged coldly with eyes that nearly made her pass out, and caused some of the parents to indeed fall unconscious before turning to Naruto. "The arrested Main house members of the Hyūga have escaped from the village's prison and taken control of their clan compound along with several POWs from the Oto invasion. They were planning on solidifying their hold on the entire clan by ensuring that they had Hiashi's entire family, which is why they came for Hanabi. While this is happening, the rest of the escaped prisoners are causing trouble in and around Konoha to make their escape, dividing our focus and forces. Obviously, sneaking into the compound to rescue the prisoners is useless against a force of enemies with the Byakugan, and charging in with a large force is equally faulty, so we will have to take a different approach…" The old man grabbed the front of Naruto's sweater and picked the boy up, walking outside the building.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing, old man?" The blonde shouted, scared on many levels and for many reasons.

"I'm sending you into the lion's den to rescue the sheep." Waltz replied. "Sometimes the best plan is no plan at all. You're Ghost's student… so you should survive… just try not to do anything too stupid…"

"Sending? What the hell do you mean by sendIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGGG?" The boy screamed as the massive old man chucked him incredibly hard in what seemed like the general direction of the Hyūga compound, soon disappearing from sight.

Waltz looked at where he threw the boy for a few seconds before turning around. "Crypt..."

"Crypt will finish everything on his plate. Crypt is a good boy…" The insane man whimpered as he took his head out of the ground and whipped his head, causing the Third Fang to appear. Almost instantly, all the blood that had painted the room began to move towards the red pulsing blade. Within seconds, a red whirlpool surrounded the thirsty weapon, the red blood melding with metal rapidly as if it were drinking the contents. Soon enough, the room was clean with the exception of the body parts littered all over the room, the shattered wall outside, and the whimpering man speared to the wall. "Fang says blood is nasty… tastes like weaklings…"

"Obviously…" Waltz grunted as he whipped out his scroll and retracted the water barriers that protected the children. "I'm going to the hospital. They are going to need help soon." He muttered in a dead tone as he walked out of the grounds. "It is best if you protect them… I am not in the best condition to do so right now… nor am I the one they will feel most comfortable with…"

Without even waiting for a response, the old man began to walk down the road in the direction of the hospital… leaving the shocked parents gaping in his wake.

"Dead people lucky…" Crypt giggled nervously as he began to follow his family member. "They still look like people…"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

Scabbard sighed as he relaxed in one of Kumogakure's famous hot springs. He was almost hoping that he wouldn't get some kind of 'special' treatment while staying in the village for a few more days before leaving for Suna, but obviously, that was mere wishful thinking. Kumo was not exactly a fan of Konoha, despite being in semi-peaceful relationship at the moment. Everywhere he went, he was given the silent treatment and people avoided him… well, other than that annoying blonde guard from the Raikage's office that seemed to be stalking him all over the place… and Bee, for obvious reasons… though that just made it easier to talk to the man about rather important things….

Oh yeah… then there was that small spike of power that Waltz had let out earlier. While he wasn't much of a sensor, all the Ōgakari were pretty much always in tune with each other, so any major flux in change wasn't that hard to notice so long as they were on the same planet. Something must have seriously tweaked the old man… but it wasn't like there wasn't anyone to snap him out of his rage if it got too bad… hopefully… Waltz did hold the titles of largest kill count and creator of most gruesome deaths in the family, which was ironic since he was the one tasked to keep Crypt in line…

"You know… if you don't start putting more distance between us… I'm going to assume that you are homosexual and that you find me attractive." The man sighed, not bothering to look in the direction C was hiding, which was behind some rocks bordering the male side of the springs.

Moments later, the man walked into view, fully clothed and glaring at the visitor. "How long have you known?" He asked in a stern voice.

"That you were checking me out? When you followed me into that bathroom a few hours back…" The genius replied casually with a straight face. Ghost wasn't the only one that could make people look like complete morons on a whim.

"I'd prefer if you wouldn't play games, dog…" Frowned C, getting a snort from Scabbard for the irony of what he had just said. "I don't trust you Konoha scum in my village. The fact that you tried to do some deals with A-sama in private only makes me more suspicious of you. I'm going to be keeping an eye on you the entire time you are here…"

"Once again… if you are attracted to me, just say it. I'll even pretend I'll be flattered if it makes you feel better." Yawned the immortal.

"For the last time, I'm not gay!" Yelled the man irritably… only to pause as both of them heard the giggling of women on the other side of the divider.

"But you are too… too easy." Smirked the Ōgakari. "You might want to do something about that temper of yours… it's unbecoming of a shinobi of your supposed caliber."

Taking in a deep breath, C calmed himself down. "Joke all you want. Raikage-sama told me that your deal hasn't been made yet, so you still have no power here. The moment you slip up, I'll have you locked away. You'll never see your family again…"

"You're only tempting me even more by saying that." Scabbard rolled his eyes. "Look. Do what you want. Say what you want. Stalk who you want… just not me. Okay? I enjoy my privacy, and if you don't respect that, well… let's just say that unfortunate things will start to happen to you…"

C frowned. "Did you just threaten me, dog of Konoha?"

Scabbard yawned as he got up and walked inside, giving the man a good look at the deep scars that ran parallel to his spine. "No. Things of that nature just tend to happen that way. If you want to test that theory, by all means keep bothering me and see what happens…" He paused at the door for a moment and grabbed the handle. "Ah yes… one last thing…" He cleared his throat, getting a confused look from the Kumo shinobi. "WHAT? WITH ENOUGH TRAINING, SENSOR TYPES CAN TELL WHAT A WOMAN'S 3 SIZES ARE WHEN THEY ARE NAKED? NO WONDER YOU WERE HIDING IN THE ROCKS INSTEAD OF TAKING A BATH! YOU LUCKY BLONDE BASTARD!"

C paled dramatically as the door shut in front of his face quickly and he heard several women scream from the neighboring bath. It was then that he realized that he was currently in one of the more popular baths in Kumo… frequented by many of the kunoichi there…

Scabbard sighed as he heard the screams of pain and agony of his tail and put his clothes back on. He would have left the man alone if he had actually done a competent job of following him, but the paranoid idiot had dropped his guard simply because he was a foreigner. A stupid mistake that had cost him dearly.

Scabbard hoped the idiot would continue to tail him. He had a few more interesting ideas to pull on the man before he left in a few days.

"Man, you are so chill. That foo C lacked the will and the skill to try and get a slab of the big bad Scab." Rapped B as Scabbard walked out of the main building.

"You're still doing it." The immortal sighed as he walked alongside the large man to a place they could talk in private. "Your technique hasn't changed a bit. If you don't try different styles, someone else is eventually going to catch onto that weakness of yours. Like I said before, it isn't uncommon for musically inclined fighters to have their bodies subconsciously follow the beat of the music they use most frequently… and since you only have that overused train wreck you call a beat, it wouldn't be that hard for someone else to figure it out if they bothered to look…"

Bee frowned as he remembered the last time he and the shorter man had a quick spar. Despite the originality of his fighting style, the genius had immediately and efficiently picked him apart by striking at him between his moves and countering every attack he made. After he had the living shit beaten out of him, the immortal explained that he had known how Bee was going to fight from the first time they had exchanged words. The pattern of his speaking was exactly the same as the timing of the jinchūriki's movements, hence it was easy to predict exactly when the man was going to move, so all Scab had to do was look for where the man was going to attack from, which was a simple task. Granted, the big man was deceivingly fast when he wanted to be, but said speeds were still manageable if put up against an expert.

"Man, why do you have to be so tight? Do you always have to be right?" Bee pouted as the pair walked through the village, getting mixed looks for obvious reasons.

"Yes… yes I do." Scabbard nodded. "It makes embarrassing people more amusing because they can't argue against someone who's right. Eventually, they break and never argue against my wishes… heh…"

"Whatever floats your boat, you crazy old goat." Bee muttered under his breath.

"Best not say stuff like that near my sister." The electron specialist warned casually. "She has a habit of killing people who bring that up in conversation. Zuzushi too."

"That will be a check… I don't want to die a wreck…" The jinchūriki shivered.

"A wreck… you are vastly underestimating what she would do to you…" Muttered the immortal.

"That aside, I heard that your deal's been put to the side. Bro won't even tell me, but Darui said that there was something you were going to do that he had to see…" Bee asked inquisitively.

The Ōgakari smirked as he took out the flier he had been carrying with him for a while and passed it to the swordsman. "I believe you are familiar with this event. I plan on demonstrating some of my wares during the festivities…"

Bee's eyes widened as he looked at the poster. "You're not lyin'? I swear I'm cryin'! I've been beggin' my bro to let me bust my moves, in the Land of Iron, the home of the 3 wolves!"

The jinchūriki was looking at a promotion poster for the twice-a-decade swordsman tourney hosted by the Land of Iron, an event rumored to attract the greatest, noblest, strongest, and also the most foul and underhanded swordsmen in the Elemental Nations. Registered and missing-nin were protected while in the Land of Iron under international law, but that still did not prevent bounty hunters and hunter-nin from coming every year to try and pick up a few heads as soon as people began to leave. Still, the event could and was seen by many as the Land of Iron's response to the Chūnin Exams hosted by the countries under the influence of the shinobi system… and it worked. The next tourney was supposedly in two months.

"Indeed. Your brother is going to send some people to watch the fights and determine whether my… more costly products are enough to seal the deal… just in case, I'm bringing Zabuza along as well to show off what I did to his sword. That alone should warrant many people's interest…" Scabbard smirked as he saw some local shinobi and civilians blink in surprise and start to talk avidly among themselves. The message was sent. "The real question is really where I should curb the power of my wares… I don't want to scare away any potential customers after all…"

"Scab, I don't know what to tell ya… other than that you are already one scary fella…" Bee chuckled nervously.

"I deal with big boy toys, Bee." The immortal sighed. "You don't let children play with the big boy toys… they tend to do stupid things with them…"

o. o. o.

In front of the Hyūga compound:

"Looks like we weren't the only ones that had trouble…" Anko mused as she stood in front of the Hyūga compound with Hana right behind her. Instead of the normal 2 guards there to 'greet' her, there were a very large number of shinobi stationed around the wall of the compound. Most were ANBU, but there were some random chūnin, and surprisingly enough, all of the Konoha 12 related shinobi, minus Naruto, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Hinata, as well.

"I assume that you found out about this from interrogating the idiots that tried to outnumber you?" Tsunade asked as she made herself known to the pair.

"Poor dickless chumps didn't know how to treat a real woman…" Anko sighed haughtily.

"Or a large snake summon either…" Hana rolled her eyes. "So I'm guessing from the way everyone's parked outside the gates that everything is FUBAR at the moment…"

"I wish." Tsunade growled. "There's been significant damage to the village and many of our shinobi have been injured, though thankfully most cases were not that severe. I don't know what you did to train the brats, but they surprised me. Chōji and Shino managed to take down the Legendary Stupid Brothers by themselves, which is quite a feat even for experienced shinobi. Kurenai's tracking slash I.T. team managed to take down 6 of them. After getting up to date on everything rather quickly, they managed to spread the word to the rest of the genin on where to go next. Sasuke and all of Gai's students had to take down even more shinobi, including one of the leading Oto generals during the invasion, which is just as impressive as Chōji's and Shino's accomplishment. It should be noted that according to Gai's original team, our new addition 'brimmed with the will of fire and the flames of youth'… so I think we can start to trust her with larger roles in the village now. Ah yes, and Haku managed to recapture her ex-comrades, the Demon Brothers. All our forces are in questionable condition, but we need everyone we can get our hands on at the moment… so much so that Jiraiya and Sarutobi-sensei had to leave in order to round up some of our more dangerous escapees…"

Hana raised an eyebrow. "Wait… what about Naruto and Hinata…" She paused as she sniffed the air carefully and turned to the Hyūga clan compound. "Oh no…"

"Unfortunately." The Hokage growled. "Hinata was taken hostage when everything had started this morning… no doubt other members of the family were put in harm's way in order to stop her, considering that she's one of the strongest Hyūga in the clan. As for Naruto… well, APPARANTLY after he and Waltz Ōgakari protected Hanabi and her class from a kidnapping team, the old bastard chucked the idiot straight into the middle of the clan compound. We haven't had any word from him since. As for the raisin, he and Crypt are currently stationed in the Hospital and taking care of the injured so that I can focus on our forces."

Anko winced. "Ouch. I wonder what the hell the old man was… wait, did you say that a bunch of homicidal criminals tried to kidnap a girl in front of Waltz?" She paled drastically, as did Hana.

The eldest woman nodded darkly. "Yes, and I can show you the pictures later if you want confirmation… Tsume had a good look at the scene of the crime too…"

"No… no. We're good." Hana waved her hands in front of her before calming down and turning to the compound. "So have they made any demands?"

Tsunade shook her head. "No, and we know better than to try and sneak in with over a couple dozen Hyūga on high alert in the area and several more Oto shinobi helping them out. The prisoners would be dead before we would even get a chance to make a seal. They said that they were going to announce something soon though…"

"Hey guys! What did I miss?" Asked a completely out of place voice from below, shocking the three women and forcing them to see Ghost drag himself across the ground to where they were. Looking up, the three could see the path the man had made by dragging himself.

"What… the hell are you doing?" Tsunade asked with a twitching eyebrow.

"I can't feel my legs right now, so I had to get here via alternative methods." The man shrugged and he approached the wall they were standing next to. "Speaking of which, I am surprised how little of the village is handicapped accessible. You should really do something about that, Tsunade."

"There are so many things wrong with that statement coming out of your mouth that it isn't funny…" Hana sighed as she rubbed her forehead. "Where the hell were you, anyway? You've been missing for three days and no one's heard anything from you."

"It's a very interesting story." He sighed as he dragged himself up the wall via chakra control and slowly brought himself to the top of the structure.

"And?" Tsunade asked expectantly.

"And what?" Ghost replied with a raised eyebrow. "This doesn't really look like the time for stories, does it? Besides, you haven't told me what the hell is going on yet."

"In a nutshell: There was a mass prison break. The prisoners have caused chaos everywhere. The arrested main house members were responsible. Said masterminds are holding pretty much the entirety of the rest of the clan at knife point, and your idiot of an apprentice is among the taken." Anko summarized irritably.

"Ah." The blind immortal replied as he laid his body on the top of the wall. "That does suck. No wonder everyone's going nuts right now… paranoid Hyūga held up and holding others hostage… they are probably alternating who has their eyes on, so odds are no one can get in without causing the hostages getting killed… well, except for me, but I'm not in any condition to do that." He yawned. "Still… it's not completely hopeless. The brat's in there. Even if he is a prisoner… it's these kinds of situations that types like me and the kid excel in. Let's just wait and see what happens for now…"

"Your student is being held prisoner and you aren't even going to try to help him or the hostages out?" Tsunade growled darkly.

"Nope." He shrugged. "Though, if I may suggest something? When they start making demands, you might want to ask to make sure that all of the hostages are alive and to take them out so you can see them for yourself… might make things easier for everyone in the long run…"

Before anyone could ask why the man suggested that, one of the few Hyūga that had been on duty when things went wrong spoke up. "They're coming out… and they have Uzumaki with them…"

"Ah. The standard faceoff between opposing groups… does anyone know any techniques that make tumbleweeds roll between our sides without any wind blowing?" The immortal mused offhandedly as Tsunade walked to the main entrance and stopped at the main doorway to see two Hyūga dragging a beaten and bloody Naruto to a wide empty spot roughly 10 meters away from everyone.

"His tenketsu are closed…" Neji growled with his eyes active.

"Ah. Hokage-sama." Bowed the apparent leader of the rogue Hyūga, who Ghost noted was the guy who tried to get his family to make the warped bloodline seal earlier. He was a reasonably aged and experienced man, probably from the same generation as the parents of the Konoha 12. "I don't believe we have met yet, seeing as I was so wrongfully imprisoned before you came into office. I am Hideki Hyūga…"

"Cut the crap and tell me what you want already." Tsunade growled. "I have a village to run and people to protect from those homicidal bastards you set loose."

"Let Hinata and Naruto go, you bastards…" Kiba growled angrily as he strained to keep himself in check.

Hideki shook his head. "Such a shame. Your predecessor was a much more patient and reasonable man to speak to…" He sighed. "But I digress. I did not come here to negotiate our terms of returning our clan to its proper position…"

"Excuse me?" Tsunade asked. "You fools wanted to enslave more than half your family under the excuse that it would protect your clan, and when a better alternative was presented, you attempted to stage a coup in order to maintain you control over others. Sympathy, I have not."

"It was an alternative made by outsiders who didn't know their place." Growled the man as he glared at Ghost picking his nose on the wall. "Outsiders who fraternize with demons and have no pride. They will bring this village down in flames if left to their own devices."

"Hey. We may get a bit lively when we play with pyrotechnics, but we never forget the importance of fire safety. I'm really good friends with Smokey the bear." Ghost pouted in his defense.

"Demons, Hokage-sama. You allow demons to live in this village." He growled, jabbing at Naruto with his foot, getting an irritated look from the boy. He paused before putting a cold look on his face. "Against the wishes of the populace, the Kyūbi was kept alive inside this… boy… since it was sealed away by the Fourth and kept alive by that sentimental fool Hiruzen." Many people gaped at the man's audacity to leak such confidential information. Those in the Konoha 12's teams who didn't know were dumbstruck, unable to comprehend such information right off the bat.

"Damn…" Sasuke growled as he looked at the genin and chūnin around him, and for the most part, they were all suffering from a case of shock. He was going to have a hard time dealing with explaining it to the others in a bit considering most of the teachers were gone. Exchanging a quick look with Haku, both realized that they were going to work fast as soon as things calmed down otherwise Naruto was going to be down a few precious people in a few minutes…

"You do realize you just sentenced yourself to death by releasing that information…" Tsunade grunted, trying to glare at the idiot to death.

"Not if my amnesty from any and all previous crimes is part of my negotiation… Tsunade- _sama_." Hideki grinned confidently, assured that he had just destabilized and unnerved his opposition's forces as he turned to see one of his prized hostages… sleeping, because he looked bored out of his mind.

"Eh?" Naruto yawned as he apparently woke up. "Sorry. Your speech was boring and you hit me a couple of times on the head, so I fell asleep. Did anyone tell you that you are boring as fuck? Honestly, that was like… the 5th drawn out self-glorifying speech you've done today… and I've only been your prisoner for 2 hours!"

Everyone listening sweatdropped as the boy ranted. The jinchūriki had almost instantly removed the tenseness of the situation… before one of the Hyūga there jabbed him in the stomach, causing him to cough up blood. "You think you're so clever, Kyūbi brat? Well, let me just inform you that we just told all your friends all about your demon friend. How many of them do you think will still be friends with you now that they know?" He asked in a homicidal tone.

Naruto coughed up more blood before smirking at the man who caused him so much pain. "More than you have now… that much is obvious…"

Spectators would have burst out laughing at that statement if Hideki didn't immediately send a more powerful jūken strike to the boy's body, immediately knocking him out and caused more blood to spew out of his body. Many of the shinobi watching yelled or made some other notion of anger at what they had seen as Hideki turned to Tsunade again. "It would please you to know that the demon is still alive. He has proven on multiple occasions that his healing ability and his endurance enable him to survive such damage… unfortunately…" He gathered himself up again. "As for my demands, they are all quite simple. In return for the lives of these Hyūga traitors and the demon, you will order the Ōgakari to create a modified version of the seal they have applied to the Hyūga… followed by their immediate banishment or execution. Previously arrested Main house members will be recognized as the true Hyūga of Konoha and will be exempt from any and all previous accusations. Furthermore, the Hyūga representative on the council will be granted the voting power of 2 seats on the council to further represent our importance to this village. Furthermore, you Hokage-sama will agree to subject yourself to a seal that dictates that should you go against any of these changes at a further point in time, your life will end…"

A roar of outrage and anger claimed everyone's ears as all the shinobi there cried in protest. The exchange was simply unbalanced and could easily distort the way the entire village was run. Everyone knew this… yet deep down everyone also knew the repercussions of not agreeing to the terms as well…

"Silence!" Roared Hideki. "Should you not agree, then I shall execute the demon, followed by that pathetic excuse for a Hyūga that is Hiashi's daughter, followed by Hiashi himself! Our clan is a pillar of power that is a part of Konoha's foundation that you all have carelessly left to rot under these weak willed traitors, influenced by outsiders that do not know their place! We who have been wrongfully accused are fighting back for the glory of Konoha and the sanctity of our home! Only our untainted eyes see the true nature of this corrupted world! The sooner you see this, the sooner our village shall once again shine above the others as the strongest!"

"And most likely to get attacked by all the other villages at once…" Ghost muttered, seemingly rolling his eyes.

"I will be back in one hour for your response. There is no negotiating the terms. I hope you choose wisely…" Hideki stated bluntly as he turned to move away.

"Hold it!" Tsunade ordered in a commanding tone, not a negotiating one, causing everyone to freeze. "I will consider your terms… but only if you swear to bring out each and every hostage you have in front of me to ensure that you are not trying to go back on your side of the deal either."

The leader of the opposition paused for a moment before nodding. "So long as you understand that any wrong moves done on your end will result in their deaths… it will be done."

The area was quiet as the group disappeared from sight again before Konoha's forces began to mutter and gossip rapidly.

"I hope you know what you are doing…" Tsunade growled as she glared at Ghost who was reading a magazine on the wall. "I'm taking a huge risk here…"

"As if you weren't before…" The immortal replied in a non-caring tone. "It'll all work out in the end now… you'll see… ooh, there's a half off on Nara brand deer meat and high quality beef at the market this week… I hope I can use my legs again by then… depends what day of the week it is…"

"I can't believe it…" Ino mused absently. "Naruto has… a demon sealed in him?"

"You know… he always did smell a bit like foxes… though most of the time that was covered up by ramen…" Kiba mused before thinking of something else. "Sasuke, you're his teammate. Did you know of this?"

Sasuke sighed as he crossed his arms and rested against the boundary wall. "Yeah. I did, and honestly… I'm glad that he does." He paused to let his words sink in for a moment. "The idiot is many things, but a traitorous bastard isn't one of them. He used the fox's power to get me and Sakura out of the Forest of Death as soon as he could after we encountered Orochimaru. It did a number on his body… you guys saw what it did to him after his fight with Lee after all…"

Lee's eyes widened. "So that was the reason behind Naruto's youthful increase in power… I had always wondered if it was some sort of technique Ghost-sensei had taught him…"

Shino shifted his glasses his non-broken arm. He had injured the other one while he was distracting the Legendary Stupid Brothers to create an opening for Chōji to finish them off and he had gotten careless at the last moment. "Be that as it may… I must ask… is there any way for the demon to escape or influence Uzumaki?" He paused as looks of fear crept onto the faces of his friends. "It is not because I do not trust him." He added stoically. "I trust him with my life. I don't, however, trust the Kyūbi with that same responsibility."

Sasuke blinked for a moment before smirking. "Hell if I know. The seal was made by the Fourth, so odds are it's able to handle pretty much anything, but it was also fixed and tweaked out by three of the Ōgakari… so odds are the only way the Kyūbi can get out are if Naruto or the Ōgakari make it that way." He sighed. "Dobe said that the more of its power he uses, the bigger influence the fox has on his decision making… but he also said that there were some additional fail-safes the Ōgakari added that would make sure that things wouldn't go too far. Given that they have a demon of their own that they screw around with… I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt." He turned to Lee. "Remember, he could have easily killed you at the end of your fight if he shifted his blade a little, but he didn't. You guys know as well as I do that he would rather die that cause any of us permanent damage… without good reason, of course."

Haku smiled. "You know… I do believe that this is the most we have ever heard you talk at once, Sasuke…"

The Uchiha glared at Haku. "Not now, Haku…"

Neji frowned as he processed everything Sasuke told him and looked around. Many of the older shinobi weren't talking about Naruto as much as the whole situation in general. He remembered what Naruto had told him about seals… and was finally beginning to understand what his friend was talking about. "Sasuke…" He started. "How many people know about Naruto containing the Kyūbi… and how did it affect his life?"

Sasuke frowned for a moment before sighing. "Pretty much everyone who was a shinobi during the time the Kyūbi attacked and a few years younger know about it. There's a rule set up by the Third that says pretty much says if you talk to anyone about the Kyūbi in public, you die. It was supposed to give him a shot at having friends when we were younger…" He saw the looks of recognition progressively dawning on everyone's face as they began to remember what people had told them about Naruto when they were kids. "I can tell you guys remembered that it didn't work out that way." He sighed. "I won't go into the details, but I will say that the dobe has had it harder than pretty much all of us, hands down… and it's a big part of the reason why he was, and is, still a loud mouthed idiot that can't shut up or know any better at times." He picked himself up. "But right now, we have to think of a way to get the moron out of trouble… again."

"He's right." Kiba nodded. "We can talk to him about the fox later when people aren't being held hostage… but what the hell can we do? The second we step into the grounds, the bastards will instantly know."

"Shika would probably figure something out by now." Chōji grumbled. "I've heard from dad that he's one of the best tacticians he's ever seen…"

"Isn't there some kind of secret passageway into the compound?" Ino asked Neji. "I mean, no offence, but your clan is pretty creepy and secretive at times… and those kind of people with a lot of money tend to make secret passages…"

Everyone sweatdropped… including Neji. "Well…" He coughed. "We might have one or two of those… but it wouldn't do us any good. They know about those entrances and that they don't have all the Hyūga hostage, so they'll have those passages guarded…"

"Would it be illogical to use Ino's Mind-Body Switch technique?" Shino asked. "Surely they cannot tell that technique is being used…"

"If it was my dad or one of the more experienced members of my clan, maybe." Ino groaned. "But I can't do it. I can possess them, sure, but even if I played along with everything, they would be able to tell something is off by the way I carry my body. Dad told me that the Hyūga are great at reading body language and telling when something's off, especially if their eyes are active…"

"Just calm down, brats." Ghost yawned without turning around, catching the children's attention. "Everything will work out just fine…"

"How can we calm down when two of our friends are being held hostage and their lives are in danger?" Tenten asked, nearly enraged at how the man was dealing with the situation. "Your own prized pupil has been tortured right in front of you, yet you still don't do anything about it!"

"Because panicking and going nuts over a situation like this gets people killed." The immortal answered casually, getting everyone's attention. "I've been torturing the dumbass for almost 2 years now. His current state is nothing to worry myself over, and I know what he looks like when he wants help… or a swift death. They're pretty much the same thing when I'm training him…"

"Tch. Should have known the dobe already had something planned…" Sasuke snorted.

"Do you know what sort of youthful strategy he could be using?" Lee asked curiously.

"I have a few ideas of what he **could** do in the situation he's in… but for what he's actually got in mind… nope. I don't have the slightest idea." Ghost yawned. "Should be pretty entertaining, though…"

"I shudder to think of this but is this how you've dealt with hostage situations in the past?" Tsunade asked skeptically. "Throw random children into the line of fire and hope they figure something out?"

"Of course not." Ghost snorted before turning back to his magazine. "We throw in childish idiots who have absurd amounts of dumb luck. If things turn out bad, THEN we step in during the confusion and bail everyone's asses out… but surprisingly enough, we don't have to take that route as often as you'd think. It's the most logical course of action…" He shook his head. "Throwing random children into hostage situations… that's just silly…"

Everyone listening sweatdropped.

"I feel sorry for any children you ever have…" Kin said bluntly, inadvertently getting unsettled looks from Anko and Hana.

"Should we set some rules for when we actually do…" Hana whispered to Anko nervously.

"Hell, I'm planning on having Scab write up the document, regardless of how much it sets me back." Anko replied, shivering at what the future could hold for the threesome.

"So what do we do now?" Tenten asked worriedly.

"We have no other choice but to wait." Neji grunted irritably.

Silence…

"So who did you guys come across before you came here?" Ino asked curiously, trying to break some of the tension. "My group came across these 6 guys from the invasion. They were tough, but we managed to beat them by trapping them in a large cloud of poison and smoke while Sai's lions and Kiba kept them in the dark… afterwards, I just screwed with their heads until they fessed up on what was going on."

"Poor idiot should have just told us right off the bat." Kiba shook his head. "Ino shoved three different kinds of poisonous senbon under this one guy's nails before he finally snapped. It was… horrifying."

"Hah. And you said that I shouldn't train her!" Anko grinned to Hana. "I told you, the girl's a natural!"

"Chōji and I had the misfortune of fighting two rather irritating men apparently called the Legendary Stupid Brothers…" Shino mused. "Their lack of intelligence was only matched by their sheer raw strength. We achieved victory when I distracted one of them and caused the other to lose control of his arms via my insects on certain points of their chakra system, allowing Chōji to finish them off with his Pulse Quake Expansion combinations… I must thank Hinata when I come across her again for giving me that scroll on the human chakra circulatory system…" He sighed. "We discovered we had to come here after Chōji offered to give them some of his chips… they did not hesitate at all in divulging the information…"

"So that explosion was you? Should have known." Sasuke sighed. "Tenten's group and I got stuck with a jōnin and two squads of chūnin. It was pretty much a free for all, but Kin impressed us… and the jōnin she fought, by crushing the poor guy's ribcage. They knew her from before, so they weren't expecting her to have enhanced strength… as for how we found out… well, they were talkative even before we started fighting…"

"What can I say… those taijutsu lessons from Gai-sensei helped… all I had to do was imagine punching through his chest when he came in close… and I did…" Kin shrugged sheepishly, causing everyone else to laugh nervously. "It kinda helped that he didn't know about my strength as well, though…"

"I encountered my old teammates…" Haku sighed, depressed that her story was nowhere near as interesting as the others. "They were foolish enough to try and kill me while I was training on one of the lake areas… the fighting didn't last long… they will be thawing for a good week before they can move again."

"You'd think they would plan things more carefully after my team took them out so easily…" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Honestly, Zabuza-sama and I thought that they should have died on the job a long time ago… we just kept them with us because they would at least be suitable to be cannon fodder if we needed them to play the role…" The girl sweatdropped.

"The depressing thing is that those two apparently managed to get their jobs done with those tactics…" Neji sighed…

Tsunade smiled gently as she saw the teens talk and laugh, albeit somewhat nervously as they all waited to see how things were going to turn out…

o. o. o.

Inside the compound…

Naruto grunted as he was thrown into his personal little dungeon by his tormentors. "Watch it!" He groaned as the Hyūga smirked.

"Careful, demon. You don't want anyone else to get hurt because of you, do you?" Hideki snorted. "Be quiet for the next hour and you might even get to see tomorrow… so long as you behave…"

"Woof, woof." The blonde replied sarcastically, getting a scowl from the man.

"Humph. I have no time to play with your kind. All of you have your chakra sealed in place with our jūken strikes, as well as sealed the Kyūbi's power, and even if you do manage to complete a jutsu, all that will do is prompt us to kill the hostages… so laugh while you can, demon. Because we have already won…" Hideki growled as he walked out of the room.

"Poor idiot can't take a joke." Sighed the blonde, getting glares from the other two guards, before he lay down and apparently took a nap…

Only for him to wake up inside in his mindscape.

"Dad, how's getting rid of the Hyūga's seal going?" Naruto asked casually as he walked up to the Kyūbi's gate, which was really more like a plastered wall with some air holes at this point.

"I can take it down whenever we need to." Minato replied as he leaned up against the gate, appearing bored. "It's sad, really. I'm the one who helped teach some of those Hyūga the basis of chakra sealing techniques, and yet their seals are even worse than they used to be…"

" **It does not matter to me which insignificant ant you have taught when you were alive! Remove this blasted seal at once! It makes existing in your unbearable body even more irritating than it already is!"** The Kyūbi's enraged voice roared from the other side of the wall.

"Well, when you put it that way… I'm not sure I want to get rid of the seal now." The boy grinned…

"Naruto…" Kushina spoke up in a more concerned tone. "Are you sure you can handle this? If you make one mistake, a lot of innocent blood will be spilled…"

Naruto sighed. "Yes, mom. I'm sure. Thanks to the old hag, the idiot Hideki is going to have all the hostages out in one place at the same time, which is the best thing I could hope for, otherwise we really might have been in big trouble. But even if someone does get hurt, the old lady is there, so there shouldn't be much to worry about…"

"Naruto, you do know that being too optimistic can get you killed…" Minato stated firmly.

"Yeah, but it's still better than second guessing yourself just before everything is about to happen." Naruto rolled his eyes. "You know as well as I do that this is our best shot at getting everyone out." He sighed and stretched. "Just remember to go nuts when I give the signal and things should just work out from there…" He grinned childishly as if there weren't any problems in the world at all before he regained consciousness.

Minato paused before turning to Kushina. "He gets that from you, you know…"

The man's red headed wife smiled sweetly in kind. Too sweetly. "Why Minato-kun… you almost sound as if that was a bad thing…"

" **Damn it!"** The Kyūbi roared as he heard screams of pain from the other side of the wall. **"I cannot even enjoy one of the few forms of entertainment I can get in here because of this blasted seal!"**

o. o. o.

One hour later…

Hinata frowned as she and the rest of the hostages were brought outside by their captors. Her body still hurt from having most of her tenketsu shut off, as well as the small beatings the ex-Hyūga had given her for 'being weak' as they had put it. What worried her most though, was that she knew that Naruto was among the captives as well… something about falling out of the sky…

Regardless, she knew that the situation was now direr because of it. The bastards were more concerned about their prestige than the village's stability, so they were likely to try and kill Naruto first the moment they felt that something was off. They had told her all about the Kyūbi in an attempt to weaken her resolve since everyone knew about her crush on her secret boyfriend. Knowing better than to fight back, she played the part of the confused little girl… until they left the room she was being held in. As soon as her captors left, she began to practice focusing her chakra.

For the Hyūga, there are key tenketsu that must be shut down in order to cause full body, limb, or chakra paralysis, the latter of the three requiring the least number of points… or so many are lead to believe.

Instead, the points pressed simply shut off the main 'veins' of the chakra circulatory system. The majority of the secondary veins are left intact. The only reason why people claim they can't feel their chakra when they are put under was because most shinobi train using only their main chakra routes and can't train using the others, leaving them to decay unless the user has obscene levels of chakra…

She, on the other hand, had enough practice that she could use basic jūken strikes without much difficulty using her secondary veins… though that was still not enough to work with at the moment.

She winced as she saw one of the sons of the ex-Main house bastards look at her lecherously. That bastard had been feeling her up every damn hour on the hour ever since she had been captured. She was lucky that the sick pervert was not her guard, otherwise she would have had to explain to her captors why there was a body in her room…

She glanced at Naruto, who had been held in a different part of the compound… and from the looks of things, was in just as bad of shape as she was. He seemed to have a bit of a spark of energy left in him still… but his eyes were calm and _not_ darting around wildly as if he was looking for help. The princess had trouble holding in a smile. He was up to something. Their eyes met for a moment before the girl gave him a quick gentle smile as if to say 'I'll leave everything up to you' before they continued to play the part of the irritated hostages. Soon enough, they were all lined up facing the main entrance of the compound…

"As you can see…" Hideki smirked. "All of those with Hyūga blood in my care are here to watch as you determine their fates. Should you make any suspicious movements, my men will not hesitate to dispatch of some of their tainted blood… starting with the demon's…" Many of the Oto POWs chuckled as they pressed their kunai against the necks of their victims. Hiashi and Hinata had the honor of having a Hyūga hold the knife to the necks. "Now, if you would please sign this document…"

"I'm sorry, but there's a bit of a problem with your request that has recently come up." Tsunade interrupted, causing everyone listening to freeze. "You recall that part of your demand was that the Ōgakari make a new seal for you? Well, unfortunately they are being rather… stubborn about the task…"

"We're not making it! You can't make us! Save the whales! Suck my balls! I still can't feel my legs!" Ghost ranted from the wall he was still sitting on.

"Care to repeat that filth? Please remember that your… student's…" Hideki spat out in disgust. "… life is in our hands…"

"You must not have heard me." The immortal sighed as he took out a megaphone. "Suck. My balls. You sad, strange little man. If it makes you feel any better, I have heard from many sources that they are quite delicious…"

Everyone listening was hypnotized by the man's sheer audacity to do something so blatantly stupid during a hostage situation. Everyone…

' _NOW!'_ Naruto roared into his mindscape, seeing that this was his best shot…

"If my family weren't in immediate mortal danger, I swear I would kill him right now…" Neji growled before everything went to hell…

Within half a second, the seal on Naruto's body shattered and he was flooded with enough of the Kyūbi's chakra for the cloak to start forming. ' _God damn it this hurts like hell!'_ The blonde mentally roared as he seallessly triggered his favorite technique. Instantly, hundreds of copies of Naruto stood in the compound. Luckily, he had used enough chakra to get rid of the cloak, but all of them still had blood red eyes.

"Shit!" Hideki yelled as he ran back to the hostages. "The demon's gotten loose! Kill the hostages!"

Ghost raised an eyebrow and smirked as the knives plunged into the men, women, and children of the Hyūga clan. "Why use something complicated when the basics work just fine? You used the safest and most efficient route you could possibly use… right in front of everyone's eyes…" He chuckled as he stared up at the sky again… letting go of his control of the air around him that he had set up as a precautionary measure… "Well… it wasn't like I didn't expect this to happen."

BOOM! All the hostages exploded in the hands of their oppressors with so much force that a good portion of the main building they were standing in front of collapsed from the shockwave, causing almost everyone to take shelter behind the wall and yell in shock, surprise and worry.

"What the hell just happened?" Ino shouted as the dust began to clear.

"Damn it dobe!" Sasuke yelled. "I don't know why, but I know that this is your fault!"

"Who care's whose fault it is! What about the hostages!" Kiba yelled as he jumped over the wall to look at the damage… only to gape. "Oh… you have got to be shitting me…"

The rest of the Konoha teams jumped over the roof to see… each and every one of the hostages almost right up against the wall and perfectly safe… albeit a bit dirty from the kicked up dust, while almost all the enemy forces were either dead or completely unfit for battle with missing limbs all over the place.

"What… in the world?" Tenten whispered as she surveyed the damage, and the craters that perfectly indicated where each hostage was once held…

"Naruto-kun's clones replaced themselves with the hostages immediately after they were made while everyone was distracted…" Hinata coughed from underneath them as she took off her bindings… she had loosened them to such a state almost immediately after they were put on. "Because my family had all their chakra sealed off, it was a simple task for him to do so with so much chakra running in his system again…"

"Hinata!" All of her friends shouted in worry as they jumped down to see her smile tiredly back at them.

"I'm fine, guys. I'm more worried about my family…" She replied as she turned to see Tsunade and many ANBU rushing to the discovered hostages and checking up on them.

"Honestly, Hinata…" Kiba sighed. "You should really stop to worry about yourself once in a while…"

"But I'm fine…" The girl pouted before looking around. "Where's Naruto-kun?"

The group paused before looking around curiously. "That is a bit odd…" Sasuke mused. "Normally this is the part where he jumps out and starts bragging about how awesome he is or starts talking about something stupid…"

"Knowing him from what I've seen he probably blew himself up when he took out the bastards." Kin sighed before they all paused. "… You don't think that…"

"It… wouldn't be unimaginable…" Shino replied slowly, not wanting to believe such a possibility himself.

"Sometimes Naruto-kun is a bit too youthful to think of everything…" Lee considered…

"I see him…" Neji stated in a serious tone as he pointed to an area close to where the explosions happened. "He doesn't look good…"

Hinata wasted no time and ran to Naruto's unconscious body. ' _You focused so much on rescuing everyone else that you forgot about saving yourself… didn't you?'_ The girl wept as she slid to his body. It was clear the boy had taken some decent damage as a good portion of his clothes were burnt off and his body was charred in some places. The blonde was knocked out cold as Hinata began to desperately heal his wounds. "You idiot…" She sniffed. "You stupid… stupid idiot…"

"I don't believe I have ever seen Uzumaki in such a state…" Neji winced as he got closer…

"I haven't either… and I was there when we first tried our first Firestorm combo went wrong…" Sasuke growled…

"It appears that flaring the Kyūbi's chakra through his system so soon after he cleared his chakra system, combined with taking on damage from a Kyūbi-chakra fueled explosion temporarily impaired his healing abilities… he's also suffering from a small case of demonic chakra poisoning…" Haku mused as she made a diagnostic scan of his body.

"Let me have a look..." Ino stepped forward, her hands glowing now. "Poisons are kind of my thing…"

Tsunade smirked as she saw Naruto's friends huddle around him as she tended to Hiashi, who was suffering from some severe internal wounds from the beatings he had received from his rogue family members. "Honestly… that kid never ceases to surprise me…"

"I believe I could do without any more surprises for a while, Tsunade-sama…" The clan head winced. "What of Hanabi? My youngest. I have not seen or heard of her since she left this morning shortly before the incident…"

"She is safe and protected, Hiashi." The Hokage smiled. "Apparently there were a couple of guests that came to her class that day that were more than capable of protecting the class… though they could have done a cleaner job…"

The man sighed and relaxed. "That is… comforting. Thank you, Hokage-sama…"

"YOU TRAITOROUS DEMON! I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU THE SECOND I HAD YOU!" Roared a hysterically angry voice, catching everyone's attention. Hideki, along with half a dozen somewhat injured Hyūga stood near where Naruto's group was, all poised to attack. "WE MAY HAVE LOST THE CLAN, BUT AT LEAST OUR NAMES WILL BE REMEMBERED AS THE ONES WHO RID THE WORLD OF THE ABOMINATION!"

"Damn… they must have snuck around everyone while the dust was kicked up despite being hit by the explosions…" Hiashi growled.

"No!" Hana, Anko, and Tsunade yelled as time seemed to slow down. The women were too far away to help in time and the children were in no shape to take on so many experienced shinobi at once. Their bodies flew to the unprepared children at incredible speed.

"No…" Whispered a voice in the wind. "You will all die in the manner that pathetic trash like you deserve… nameless…"

In an instant and without any prior warning, the entire area that the charging force was located in flashed under the illusion of countless thick blades gouging out everything in and touching the air in a single arcing slash, including the earth, the nearby ruined building, and the men themselves. Within half a second, this event took place, and in the next the bodies of the attackers fell down in bloody pieces on top of the gouged ground that had just appeared to have been the site of an intense battle.

"What… the fuck… was that…?" Kin breathed heavily as she stumbled back, completely unprepared for what she had just seen… nor to look at the butchered bodies in front of her.

"That technique… was certainly made… to kill… absolutely…" Sai stated, unnerved himself at the efficiency of the move he had just seen.

"They all died… so quickly…" Neji stated. "The air… tore them to shreds and returned to normal… in less than a second…"

"That… that was…" Sasuke gasped, recognizing the pattern of the gouge marks on the victims instantly. It was the same technique that had killed the businessman Gatō back in the Land of Waves. "The only ninjutsu… classified under mass assassination… Wind style… War Scars…" The Uchiha turned to the wall behind him… only to see that Ghost was gone…

o. o. o.

Omake: Ghost's Interesting Story:

3 days before the prison break…

Ghost stood on the pad in front of him and bounced from left to right, waiting for the screen to turn on. It was time for him to train again… train under some of the most grueling and inhumane circumstances to ever be conceived…

The background picked up and he flipped through the modes of the modified device until he was near the end. Beginner mode… light mode… standard mode… heavy mode… challenge mode… Ghost mode. O.k.

The music began and the first of over 2000 consecutive songs started playing.

Ghost glared at the screen in front of him as he positioned himself on the DDR mat, preparing for the hell that awaited him.

"Bring. It. OOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Before anyone complains, I have been working like a bastard these past few weeks in college and I am sorry that the chapter couldn't get out sooner, but my schedule forces me to work more over the weekend than during the actual week which pisses me off. I'll probably work on this chapter more later on to fix things and in general make it smoother, but I just want to post it now and get it over with so I can think clearly again. My head is killing me.

With that said… holy fuck I made the 2k mark already. I mean…seriously, that's almost 150 reviews since I last posted. Thank you everyone who reviewed and helped me get here, ESPECIALLY Kagebiju and Draco Namikaze, who have since my last post have reviewed almost EVERY chapter they have come across. Seriously everyone, thanks.

Another shout out to Talhos, who has been making fanart of my OC's lately and I have to say… they are NICE… and in color too.

I'll try and be faster with my next chapter, which will most certainly be shorter than this monster, but odds are it will be out by around Christmas.

As for the real manga… in a nutshell… I loved the fight between the skirmish teams, I thought it was interesting how the Rasengan was inspired by the bijū attacks… and I'm pissed off that Naruto will probably never learn any decent generic ninja moves in the series that will improve his fundamentals that he needs desperately.

So that's all I have to say for now guys. Review! Worship the log! Apologize to the log for the ones you will burn over the Christmas season! Review again! And for god's sake put on some pants damn you!


	58. When push comes to shove… bust out a chainsaw. No one will ever see it coming…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

>Chapter 58: When push comes to shove… bust out a chainsaw. No one will ever see it coming…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"You are responsible for this… aren't you?" Yugito sighed as her eyebrow twitched. In front of her and Scabbard, the blonde Kumo jōnin C was running away from Bee as if his life depended on it.

"C! You can't fool me! The almighty Bee!" The jinchūriki roared as he attempted to catch the man. "I have seen the proof! Your gangsta' rapping skills are through the roof! Chill with me and spend some time, hangin' out and tradin' some rhymes!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." The Ōgakari mused in an almost innocent tone as he drank from his water bottle. "Bee just happened to read in one of the magazines he gets in the mail that C was the leading rapping expert in Kumo this morning. I had nothing to do with that… nor the fact that he can't seem to find said magazine anymore… though I must admit that this turn of events is rather entertaining…"

Yugito sighed as she saw C scream as he made a rather impressive leap from one of Kumo's mountain peak buildings to another, followed instantly by the determined pursuer. "You are a very scary person…"

Scab raised an eyebrow as he saw C start to try and use some genjutsu against Bee, only to fail horribly. "So I've been told… though to be frank, your comrade has not been respecting my privacy at all since I got here… I believe that this is simply karma's way of evening the scales…"

The female jinchūriki rolled her eyes as Bee tackled C and fell a good few stories down a mountain before they finally stopped and he starting to tie the man up. "Karma… if only…" She shook her head. "You're leaving in a few hours, correct?"

The Ōgakari nodded, watching Bee flip C onto his shoulder and ran away from the scene of the crime, most likely to the nearest karaoke bar. The man was too easy in his opinion. Zabuza was more fun to play with, easily. "I'll be off to Suna before returning to Konoha to prepare for the competition. Do you have an idea of who the Raikage is going to send to look at my wares?"

Yugito shrugged as the two watched Bee disappear from sighed. "No idea, but odds are likely that he's going to send Bee's team or Darui. Maybe both. They're among the best in the village when it comes to kenjutsu and swords… next to Bee, of course, but we both know that Raikage-sama would never send his brother to such an event unless it was really worth it."

"I almost wish he would…" Scab mused. "It would be pretty… amusing to watch." He cracked the smallest of smirks, causing Yugito to shiver.

"One can only imagine…" The woman replied. "Anyways, go get your stuff ready. Despite your wondrous advice for avoiding a new world order, the village has been on edge whenever you step out into the open."

"Fine…" The man sighed as he turned around and began to walk away. "I was about to go regardless. No doubt C will blame me for what happened the moment he escapes Bee and try to get me arrested despite the lack of any evidence…" He paused before he turned a corner. "However… before I leave, I really must let you know…" The small grin appeared on his face again. "Rolling around in that much catnip in the nude? That's simply unhealthy…"

Yugito froze with wide eyes as the man quickly walked around a corner. "I'll kill him…" She whispered before the air around her started to rise in temperature. "I'll KILL HIM!"

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

"He'll be up, about, and ready to annoy everyone in a 30 meter radius by tomorrow." Waltz sighed as the genin and chūnin in front of him all deflated and relaxed. "What? You all look like it's the first time you've seen him in such bad condition…"

"It's not that…" Ino mused. "It's just… different now that we know about… you know…"

"I was just worried about him." Sasuke muttered. "Honestly, the times he's hurt most are when he does something stupid and does the damage himself… especially when he uses the fox's powers. I think when I tell Sakura about this, she'll agree with me that he'll probably be his own cause of death."

"Is he taking visitors?" Hinata asked sadly, wrapped in bandages on various areas of her body to show how severe the beatings she took were. "I… want to apologize for putting him in danger again… and for causing his secret to get out… my father wishes to speak with him, too…"

"I'll see if I can get your clan permission to see him this afternoon. You don't have to apologize for the first part. I was the one who threw him into your compound." Waltz smiled gently despite the looks of disbelief the kids gave him. "Besides, you know he wouldn't blame you for something like this… most likely, he's just going to complain about blowing himself up… trust me, this isn't the first time I've seen a situation like this."

"I don't even want to ask, old man…" Kin deadpanned.

"But he is most likely correct…" Shino mused, shifting his glasses with his free hand. "Naruto is not one to dwell on such things… which is a good thing, in this case."

"Hm… he's probably going to be more irritated that he's stuck in the hospital again." Sasuke smirked. "He hates being here…"

"Um…" Hinata spoke up, grabbing everyone's attention. "Waltz-sama… can you… can you please teach me how to heal injuries made by the Kyūbi?" Everyone's eyes widened momentarily. "When Haku, I, and Ino tried to help, we could only barely stop him from bleeding and his wounds from getting infected…"

"Now that I think about it… she's right…" Ino mused. "Those burns and cuts just wouldn't close or go away no matter how much chakra we put into the healing, and when I tried to filter out the corrupted skin, my chakra was simply knocked back…"

"I am not surprised. It was your first time dealing with extensive foreign chakra poisoning, after all." Waltz sighed, getting confused looks from the children. "Demon chakra is exceptionally potent and corrosive to most humans… you could say its effects are akin to an advanced version of applying large amounts of fire chakra directly to another person's system, though the effects are significantly reduced for those whose bodies are used to such exposure in the first place, such as other containers. In order to quickly and effectively heal such wounds, you would not only need the correct technique to do so, but sufficient experience, practice, chakra control, and reserves. To my knowledge, there are possibly at the most half a dozen individuals in the Elemental Nations that are able to efficiently and properly counter and heal chakra laced wounds made by tailed beasts without any hesitation, including Tsunade and myself." The children's eyes widened in surprise.

"How long w-would it take to learn how to heal those sort of wounds that way?" Hinata asked, undeterred in the slightest.

The old man grinned briefly before stroking his beard. "It depends from person to person. If Tsunade or I only taught you how to deal with chakra based injuries, based on your learning curve… it would take Sakura and Hinata about a year to a year and a half… Haku two, and Ino three… and that is if you only focus on these specific brands of injuries and you did nothing but study and practice medicine based ninjutsu during that time frame…" He grunted as he stretched a little. ' _Though with Sakura's memories the way they are now and Hinata's bloodline aiding them, I could most likely cut their training down to just under a year…'_ "A more realistic training schedule would double, if not triple the time it would take so that you would have a more balanced education in addition to allowing you to take missions… so I would only expect Hinata and Sakura to realistically be able to learn how to deal with these sort of injuries any time soon…"

Hinata's face temporarily brightened up a bit while Ino and Haku looked somewhat depressed. "Really? That makes me feel much better… thank you." The shy girl bowed.

"Damn it… forehead just keeps on beating me…" Ino growled.

"I suggest we forget about all the past unyouthful events!" Lee stated loudly, causing his friends to jump. "Once Naruto-kun is out of the hospital, we should celebrate the rescue of Neji and Hinata-san's family! We could do it during the Kyūbi festi…" He paused as he realized what he was about to say and everyone else froze as well. "…val."

"And we're right back to where we started…" Kiba groaned.

"This is indeed quite a predicament…" Sai mused curiously. "Judging from what I have heard about Uzumaki-san's past, I would be inclined to guess that he is not very welcome during the festivities due to his status as a demon container…"

"Now that I think about it… wasn't he always absent from class around the time of the festival?" Ino asked curiously.

"If I were in his shoes, I would do the exact same thing." Kin shrugged. "Who would want to be treated like shit on their birthday? Everyone in the village celebrating for something else entirely and you're never invited, despite the fact that it's supposed to be a special day for you? That must suck."

There was a brief silence before Sai spoke up. "Would it not be appropriate to throw him a party to celebrate his birthday?"

All of them blinked before turning to the pale boy.

"Finally someone says it…" Grumbled Waltz as he walked away to treat more patients. "I swear, the more you put kids in combat situations, the worse they are at coming up with simple solutions to everyday tasks…"

"I can't believe Sai came up with that idea first." Kiba whispered out loud. "Something is clearly wrong with the rest of us…"

"It seems as if you were born without a part of your brain in addition to your penis, Kiba." Sai said with a fake smile.

"Chōji! Hold Kiba down! We have more things to worry about than Sai's half true statement!" Ino yelled, suddenly full of energy again.

"Oh boy… Ino's in party preparation mode…" Chōji sighed as he held a struggling Kiba in a full nelson.

"What is with you and my penis, you pale assed gothic freak?" The Inuzuka roared defiantly.

"Is there something we should be worried about?" Tenten asked curiously as she saw Ino start to laugh hysterically.

"Ino's a fangirl who was trained by Anko and still somehow maintains her position as one of the village's main gossips." Sasuke deadpanned as he slowly inched away from the girl. "I think it's safe to say that she's going to be bossing us around for a good few days straight… especially since Sakura and Shikamaru aren't here to reign her in…"

"Amazing…" Lee gasped as he watched Ino laugh some more. "I can actually see her flames of youth…"

o. o. o.

Council Meeting:

"Reports show that we have lost a sizeable portion of our shinobi due to this incident…" Shikaku droned as he went over the paperwork. "Over 40 of our men were found dead inside the prison when we finally got inside, and another 100 were found dead in various areas around the village. In addition to them, there are roughly 300 separate reports of injuries from both shinobi and civilian alike, though most are thankfully superficial." He turned to Hiashi, who looked like he had better days. "Luckily, the worst potential blow of this incident, the loss of the Hyūga clan, has been avoided thanks to Chūnin Naruto Uzumaki. Though there were no major injuries to the Hyūga clan in particular, I would advise against sending any Hyūga on missions outside the village for two weeks as a precaution, with mandatory psychological evaluation. Other than some damages due to the fighting, I'd say we got off lucky."

"What about the escapees?" Shibi asked inquisitively. "How many were apprehended, escaped, or killed?"

Shikaku looked at the report. "The total escaped convicts number around 400. About ¾ of the released prisoners engaged Konoha forces after escaping the prison, which was apparently what they were asked to do by the ex-Hyūga in return for their freedom. The rest just tried to get out of the country. Almost the entirety of the ones that stayed, including the Legendary Stupid Brothers, the Demon brothers of Kiri, and the escaped Hyūga were either killed or captured by the end of the day's incident, but odds are that there were some that escaped. As for the remaining quarter, we have received multiple reports of border and security patrols encountering hostile shinobi forces and dispatching them appropriately. Judging from the numbers, we have at most an eigth of the prison's populace still at large in the Land of Fire, while our prison's population has been reduced to at most half."

"At least we won't have to spend as much money keeping those monsters alive now…" Spat a civilian council member, getting grumbles of agreement.

"What of the Ky… Uzumaki?" Asked another civilian council member. "I heard that despite his efforts, he still sustained some unexpected damage."

Tsunade frowned. "Naruto Uzumaki infiltrated the Hyūga compound after gaining information about the situation there before everyone else after one member and some POWs attempted to kidnap Hiashi's youngest daughter from the academy. Almost immediately after he got in, however, he was captured, though it is likely that he expected to in the first place." ' _I'll just leave out the part about him being thrown in there against his will…'_ The woman laughed nervously to herself.

"As you know, I had asked Hideki Hyūga that I would not 'agree to his terms' unless he brought out all the hostages so I could make sure that they were still all alive and in suitable shape. While everyone's attention was… ahem… preoccupied by another individual, Uzumaki somehow managed to break the seal the Hyūga had placed on him to restrict the Kyūbi's chakra, and unleashed enough of the demon's chakra to unblock his tenketsu before immediately and seamlessly creating and replacing all the hostages with his shadow clones via the standard replacement technique before anyone could catch him. He then used the exploding clone technique to finish off the escapees… however…"

She sweatdropped. "However, he apparently forgot or was unable to replace himself with a clone before they went off, and he himself got caught in the blast as well." ' _Like hell I'll tell them that damage influenced by the Kyūbi slows down his healing abilities…'_ "Because of this, he's been in the hospital since the incident, though he's supposed to be checked out for release by tomorrow. To my and Jiraiya's knowledge, nothing has changed with his seal, so there is nothing to worry about there."

"As soon as this incident is taken care of, I would like to place my recommendation for the boy to be promoted to jōnin as soon as he completes his original requirements for becoming a special jōnin." Hiashi stated clearly and without any hesitation, getting many odd looks from the rest of the council. "My clan owes the boy a debt that cannot be repaid anytime soon."

"Hiashi… I know Naruto has shown to be an outstanding ninja for his age, but don't you think you're rushing things a bit?" Chōza asked.

"I'm with Chōza." Shikaku yawned. "At least let the boy get promoted to special jōnin and get a bit of experience first before you put him in missions over his head… he's still a bit green, if you ask me."

"No…" The man stated, getting more raised eyebrows. "While I was imprisoned, I managed to get enough control of my chakra to use my eyes again. When we were brought out, I managed to get a good look at the boy… bruised, sealed in more ways than one, and utterly defenseless… yet it did not stop him at all from what he had done. There was no hesitation in the boy as he was brought out in front of everyone despite how he acted. He was completely calm, up to the point where he released the Kyūbi's chakra, timing it perfectly when, as Tsunade-sama said, everyone was distracted. There are jōnin and ANBU who would buckle under that sort of pressure, yet this boy of all things not only managed to keep his head completely under control, but rescued an entire clan from a hostage situation single handedly."

He paused. "I have spoken to my daughter and nephew about Uzumaki since the incident. While they both can agree that his behavior is less than ideal at times, they also attest to his remarkable leadership ability and his strategic mind. We are all aware of his combat potential, but the unquestionable loyalty they have for him, despite the fact that they recently found out about the Kyūbi, is something I find remarkable. There was no hesitation in them at all." He closed his eyes. "It takes a special kind of person to have that sort of effect on others, regardless of their age, and especially so soon after the Chūnin Exam invasion. Many other shinobi that have worked with the boy recently also attested to his capability." He opened his eyes again. "I may be wrong… but to me, the boy is already jōnin material."

The room was silent before Danzō snorted. "Humph. Regardless of what you believe, Hiashi, the boy is still too rash and unrefined to take such a position just yet, if at all." He ignored Tsunade's glare. "Back to the incident at the Hyūga's, it appears as if the overall method of escape was an consensual agreement between the Hyūga and the Oto PO's. With the Hyūga's knowledge of seals, combined with the outdated security systems of the prison, it was only a matter of time before they managed to break out… I have been warning Sarutobi and you, Hokage-sama, for quite some time that this issue needed to be addressed… in addition to your lack of thought in simply keeping those degenerates alive in the first place. Once they served their purpose, we should have disposed of them. Instead, we allowed them to fester and interact, resulting in this disaster…"

"We would be no better than Iwa or the Bloody Mist if we took such protocol." Tsunade frowned. "Despite this setback, we had managed to convert a good 50 Oto shinobi into our forces, many of which are now acting as spies for us. What happened was unfortunate, and yes, steps could have been taken to prevent this, but radical decisions are the last thing we want to do. Should we act in a violent or aggressive manner now, so soon after our victory over the invasion, it would send the wrong message to other villages and strain our relationships. It's a miracle that Iwa has sent an emissary at all, and you want to risk him coming back and telling people that Konoha of all places is executing prisoners left and right? The village's mission income would drop instantly!"

"She's right." Shikaku yawned. "Part of the reason why we get so much business is because our ninja are supposed to be easier to approach and interact with the clients than those from the other villages. Take away that and we'd lose a lot of our appeal to customers."

"I am merely stating a fact." Danzō frowned. "How you wish to interpret it is up to you."

Tsunade and many other members of the council glared at the man before calming down. It wouldn't do to press a worthless subject. "Since we pretty much discussed the damages, I believe we should talk about repairs and management next. We are still not done with the overall repairs from the invasion, so we have plenty of carpenters and artisans inside the village…"

o. o. o.

Later:

"So why are we doing this again?" Kiba groaned as he and all the other males in his age group carried heavy bags to the Ōgakari compound, filled with stuff that Ino had written down.

"Because you guys feel guilty about how much crap you put Naruto through when we were kids." Sasuke yawned. "I'm past that phase. Ino just threatened to post pictures of me naked through the town if I didn't agree to help." He noticed that the other boys were staring at him dumbfounded. "She was one of my biggest fangirls before she went out with Chōji. You honestly don't think that she would have snuck or fabricated some pictures of me in all the time she and Sakura have been chasing me?"

Many of the boys grumbled in agreement, avoiding eye contact with the seemingly unconcerned Uchiha.

"Why the Ōgakari's, though?" Chōji mused. "Wouldn't it make more sense to set things up at his place or at one of our homes?"

"Most of our families will be celebrating the festivities in town." Shino replied. "Many would not appreciate an unsupervised party in our clan compounds. As for Naruto's apartment… it is far too small to hold a party there."

"Plus Ino would have a meltdown trying to make an awesome party in a cramped place like that." Chōji laughed.

"Almost makes me want to see her try to do it… too bad she would drag us into that mess. I prefer not to work on hopeless tasks." Neji stated.

"So long as we don't go anywhere off limits, I doubt the Ōgakari would mind if we got a head start setting things up without their permission." Sasuke mused. "Odds are that they'll start helping us out the moment they find out what we're doing…" He paused. "That reminds me… does anyone in our group other than the dobe and Shikamaru actually have access to their place?"

The boys looked at each other curiously. Despite going into the building multiple times, they were well aware that it was surprisingly well fortified. If you weren't allowed to get in by yourself, then you weren't going to get in unless someone else opened the door. They had seen many times what happened to people that tried to sneak in, and they preferred not to have to sneak back home with all their clothes super glued to their body in all the places that didn't matter. How the clan even made a seal like that in the first place was still beyond all of them…

"I believe Haku is still residing in the building, so entering should pose no issue." Shino spoke up, causing the rest of the males to relax.

"Thank god…" Chōji whimpered. "Ino would have probably tried to force her way in if we had to…"

"So what youthful gifts are you going to get Naruto?" Lee asked curiously, causing all of the boys to freeze in their tracks.

"Hm… I knew we forgot something…" Sasuke mused before shrugging. "Eh. The dobe is a jutsu freak, so I guess I could get him one or two scrolls from my family vault. It's not like I'm going to be learning how to use wind or earth styles anytime soon."

"An interesting idea…" Shino mused as they turned the corner to make their way to the Ōgakari's. "I believe that I can procure some wares from my clan that he may find acceptable…"

"Heh. You guys are over thinking things." Chōji grinned. "I'm just going to challenge him to another ramen eating contest at Ichiraku's... all on me."

"Chōji, you are the only one who would be able to do that." Kiba sighed before pausing and began to grin evilly. "Oh… but I do have one hell of a good gift for him… and everyone else too…"

"If it's a stripper in a large cake, then the answer is no, Kiba. We would all be murdered by our female teammates before they would have the chance to stop themselves." Neji deadpanned.

"What? Hell no!" The Inuzuka roared. "I'm saving that memory for my 17th birthday… far… FAR away from my mom and sis."

"It's true." Shino mused. "He's told me his plans for the event at least 7 times since we became teammates… why, I will never know."

"Oh come on Shino. Don't be like that." Kiba moaned. "As soon as you hit puberty, you'll see how awesome my idea is…"

Chōji laughed. "Haha! That's just wrong hahaha."

Shino didn't say anything, but was silently plotting to send some ticks to the Inuzuka's bed in the near future. "Say what you will, Kiba. In the end, you are the only one in our group that didn't make it to the finals of the Chūnin Exam…"

Kiba drooped almost instantly. "That was uncalled for…"

Throughout the entire conversation, Sai remained quiet and observed how his new comrades interacted. He couldn't help but remember his brother and the time spent with him. Perhaps if he stayed with these people more, he could remember what he wanted to draw in his book…

o. o. o.

In a cave in the Land of Rice Paddies:

"Report." Stated the holographic form of Pain in front of 5 other transparent bodies.

"Mission accomplished… unfortunately." Kakuzu grunted irritably.

"Heh." Laughed the form of Hidan as he shouldered his scythe. "Those pagan weaklings didn't stand a chance. Jashin-sama's gonna be pissed at me for wasting my abilities on such trash."

"Sasori… any chance you want to trade partners?" The heart stealer asked casually. "This idiot's mouth is causing me a massive headache…"

"Odd how you would want to exchange him for a man with 4 mouths…" The puppet master growled. "Normally you would have killed the fool by now…"

"If only I could…" The Taki shinobi grunted.

"Oi oi! Did that freak just call me an idiot?" Hidan asked angrily.

"Well, what do you know?" Deidara chuckled. "The tasteless backwoods wonder can understand what we're saying after all…"

"You'll be my next sacrifice to Jashin-sama!" The zealot roared.

"Enough." Pain ordered, immediately silencing the S-class shinobi. "The teams will remain the same. I will not expend more resources to try to find another appropriate partner for you, Kakuzu. Despite your age, your childlike temper has proven itself to be your biggest weakness, and your current partner is the result of your flaws. You are stuck with him."

"Tch. Fine." Kakuzu grunted.

"Now then, what have you found about your respective jinchūriki?" The leader asked in the same cold voice.

"Rumor has it that the Gobi has been busted out of Iwa's high security prison and is running around without a leash." Sasori grunted. "If it's true, then now might be the best time to try and get him without interference. If he's caught again, it will be significantly more irritating to capture him with the amount of security around…"

"Heh. He's right, plus Han was never one to be taken lightly, and he's an annoying bastard when it comes to running away." Deidara snorted. "Those steam techniques of his always made him a pain to catch. We used to say that he was our version of that guy Zabuza who's famous for the Silent Killing technique, though he sucks at being silent if you know how to piss him off. Hn."

"Han of Iwa is a jinchūriki?" Kakuzu mused in an interested tone. "He has a fairly high bounty on his head. We could make use of that after we are done with him."

"Oi! Don't sully a good kill with your pagan ways, you bastard! Jashin-sama despises those like you!" Hidan roared.

"I will keep that in mind. However, preparations for extracting the bijū are not yet ready, so it would be best for you to keep tabs on him." Pain nodded, ignoring Hidan's outburst. "And the Yonbi?"

"Nothing yet. There have been a lot of rumors about him lately in the Land of Earth, but nothing solid…" Sasori grunted. "I would have had an easier time gathering information if my fool of a partner wasn't one of the most wanted men there…"

"That stupid old man and that annoying village never appreciated the greatness of my art! Hn!" Deidara stated firmly.

"What of that spy of yours that was with Orochimaru?" Pain asked. "Despite his leaks, you seemed to be under the impression that he was quite talented…"

"He is." Sasori grunted. "He's stationed in a resting town frequently used by Iwa shinobi to gather more intel as well as conduct some research for me… he's the main source of the info we got on the Yon and Gobi so far… but I've made sure that he isn't connected to anything else in the organization."

"That glasses wearing freak still creeps me out…" Deidara grunted. "He has that insane scientist look in his eyes…"

"Better than the look of an insane bomber with mouths on his hands…" Sasori mused out loud.

"Good… I will not tolerate having any more loose ends after Orochimaru." Pain spoke up before turning to Kakuzu. "What of the Nanabi?"

"Nothing but rumors, if you could even call them that." Kakuzu grunted. "My village's security is tighter than most of the others, so a good number of the people one would normally talk to or approach are unreachable. I'm still waiting at one of the village's main travelling paths for a jōnin to pass by to get the information, but no luck yet. They might have changed the routes they used since the last time I was in the area."

"I have heard that Taki is rather confident in its natural and military defenses… though I have yet to test it out for myself…" Sasori mused.

"You will continue with your tasks." Pain stated. "Kisame and Itachi are out performing most of our hands-on requests at the moment, so there is no need to rush them…"

"Feh." Deidara grunted. "Itachi. That stuck up bastard not only disrespects my art, but he gets the best missions too. Whatever… it will make killing him all the more enjoyable. Hn."

"A stupid talentless brat like you doesn't stand a chance against Itachi. Stop complaining and actually be useful for once…" Sasori replied as his and Kakuzu's teams disappeared, leaving Pain's and Konan's transparent bodies.

"Your thoughts?" Pain asked as he glanced at his own partner.

"Nothing that isn't within our abilities. The Gobi is unfortunate, yet we both know we are not yet ready to move…" Konan voiced her opinion in a calm voice, reflecting what Nagato was already thinking. "My only concern is Sasori's spy that he still has yet to dispose of. The boy supposedly was working directly under the snake for years without the man being the wiser… yet we are both well aware of how crafty Orochimaru was…"

The leader remained silent for a few seconds. "I will order Sasori to dispatch him once he has served his purpose. As of this moment, he is one of our few reliable leads for two of the jinchūriki…"

"Understood…" The woman nodded as her friend's image disappeared. If one paid close enough attention, they would have noticed her eyes momentarily showing sorrow before her own body faded away.

o. o. o.

Konoha Hospital:

Naruto slowly pushed his aching body up as he attempted to figure out what the hell happened to him. "Ugh… man, I feel like I just went 10 rounds against Waltz…" He grumbled as he looked at the bandages wrapped around roughly half his body, making it hard to move. "… And if the old man didn't heal me right after each time I fought him, I would have looked like it too…" He slumped back into the bed and looked at the room. "The hospital… great…" He groaned, already formulating an escape plan in the back of his head based on where in the building he assumed he was in judging from his view out of the window. Even after the time traveling and personal training with Ghost, the boy could instantly tell where he was in the building via his window view due to the number of times he landed himself here when he was a kid. "4th floor, central area… damn it, Granny knew I'd try to escape… this is the hardest part to get away from without getting caught other than the insanity ward…" His eyebrows twitched as he sensed two ANBU outside his window and two more on either side of his door. "I guess I really did get hurt this time…" He froze as he suddenly remembered how he got into that state in the first place. "… By myself? Oh, for fuck's sake." The boy groaned as he flopped back into bed. "How was I supposed to know that flaring that much of the fuzzbutt's chakra at once when I was originally running on empty would screw with my control so badly that I couldn't use the replacement technique?"

"I'm fairly certain that it was in one of the basic chakra control books I forced you to read." Replied a casual voice from under the boy's bed, causing him to jump.

After Naruto got his heart below the red again, he frowned and looked under his bed to see Ghost lying there. "Aside from being here to point out my lack of intelligence, any reason why you are under my bed?"

"I can't feel my legs, so isn't it common sense that I should go to a hospital?" The blind man asked curiously.

"Not under my bed with no one else knowing you're here." The boy argued and pointing accusingly.

"The civilian nurses wear short skirts and interesting underwear? Plus with all the antibiotics around, Hana and Anko can't track me?" The man grinned childishly and raising an eyebrow in a perverted fashion.

"A more realistic and reasonable answer, but there is no way that Granny would let a civilian doctor take care of me after I blew myself up. She would do it herself, and even you aren't dumb enough to peek… you know what, scratch that last thought, you are dumb enough." Naruto reasoned, remembering what happened during previous trips to the hospital.

"I prefer the term, willing enough to expand on his own personal horizons… heheheh… horizons… heheheh… Tsunade's boobs…" The immortal laughed immaturely.

"And now for your real reason for being here?" Naruto asked skeptically as he laid back down on his bed. There was a brief silence as the two males stared at each other before both began to sweat drop. "You forgot, didn't you?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Yep." Ghost chuckled sheepishly. "By the way, you have guests in 3… 2…"

The door to the room opened to give way to Hinata, Neji, Hanabi, Hiashi, and many other Hyūga. The blonde and the clan looked at each other blankly in surprise for a few seconds before Hinata ran forward. "Naruto-kun! You're awake!" The girl yelled in relief as she hugged the boy in what would be a very adorable hug if the boy wasn't still a bit sore from his injuries.

"Hinata! Wounds! Hugs! Pain!" The boy gasped before the girl noticed how much discomfort she was causing him and jumped back.

"Well, that was one way to show our appreciation for the one who saved our clan…" Hiashi sighed as the large crowd of white eyed individuals walked in.

"All you all right Naruto-sensei?" Hanabi asked curiously as the blonde took in deep breaths.

"My skin's on fire, I think some of my ribs are bruised, and I apparently blew myself up…" The boy panted as he tried to make the stinging sensation he was feeling go away. "Yeah… this is just like that time I pranked the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi in the same night a few years ago. Just give me a few seconds for the throbbing to go down and remember all the details of what the heck I did before I passed out…"

The Hyūga in the room somehow remained stoic, but they all still sweatdropped none the less. "We… will not ask…" Hiashi coughed.

"…Sorry…" Hinata mumbled as she let her head droop, covering her eyes as her hands began to glow. She pressed them against Naruto's wrapped body and soon enough most of the pain began to recede.

"It's fine, Hinata-chan." Naruto laughed nervously. "Worse things have happened to me… like Ero-nii's training…" He paused as he sensed that the man under his bed was gone. "Of course…" He grumbled before clearing his mind again and turning to Hiashi. "So… I like having guests and all… but why is practically half the Hyūga clan crammed into my room?"

"Because there isn't enough room for the other half." Hiashi stated bluntly, causing Naruto and several other Hyūga to stare and blink at the man for several seconds, unable to determine if the man had actually cracked a joke or if he was being dead serious. "Uzumaki, you have truly underestimated how great of a deed you have done for our clan." Hiashi continued, ignoring the looks he was getting. "Were it not for your quick actions, my clan would have suffered one of two unsavory fates that would have ruined us for generations, if not permanently…" Then he bowed, which had caught pretty much everyone there by surprised. "We are in your debt."

The blonde blinked absently for several seconds before sighing and scratching the back of his head with his free arm. "Man… I'm never good with these things…" He moaned to himself. "Um… well… okay. Hiashi-sama, can you please pick yourself up? I mean, I know I helped you guys out a lot… and I know what I did mean a lot… but if you could, can you please act as if it wasn't such a big deal?" Everyone in the room blinked and looked at him curiously. "I mean… it's likely that you guys are going to save me in the future for one thing or another on a mission, and odds were likely that someone from your clan saved one of my parents' lives at one point or another before I was born…"

Hiashi looked up at the seemingly carefree child. ' _To bring up the subject of his lineage so carelessly… does he know?'_ "I see…" The leader of the Hyūga sighed. "You are most likely correct… however, we still feel a need to repay you considering our ineptitude led to your condition and the loss of your weapons…"

"I said it's fine… wait… what?" Naruto blinked as he registered what Hiashi just mentioned. "What the heck happened to my talons? They were taken off of me when I was first captured, but why would they get damaged? They're not designed for adults' arms, but they were still nice enough to hold onto in case they had a use for it later…"

Neji stepped up. "Apparently while you were being held captive, several of the non-Hyūga escapees that were helping Hideki scavenged the property for items of value that they could sell for some extra ryō when they finally left. Many artifacts and rare items were taken from various parts of the compound… and apparently, one of them found your bracers to be rather appealing. Since all the Oto escapees were holding my clan hostage… when you decided to free everyone…"

"I ended up blowing up my favorite weapons in addition to myself…" Groaned the jinchūriki as he rubbed the sides of his forehead. "Man… those babies were almost as famous as I was according to the guys on guard duty." He sighed. "Oh well… I guess the timing is convenient I guess… my taijutsu has been getting a bit sloppy cause I've been relying on them a bit much lately…"

"Taijutsu?" Hiashi asked, looking at the boy curiously, as everyone else in the room. From what they remembered, the boy's form, while a bit unrefined, was still highly advanced and effective for his age and rank.

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. I'm trying to make my own style to incorporate my Seventh Sense so that I can fight from all angles, but it's hit a dead zone. Ero-nii told me that guys like us don't really have a set style, but study a lot of them in general. Afterwards, we just use the moves and forms that we feel the most natural with at the time. Almost none of the styles we practice are truly mastered, but the basics and foundations are still there. The only problem is that I'm at a bit of a roadblock." He sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "All the forms I've come across lately require or at least focus on having your opponent in front of you and kinda draw a blank when it comes to fights from all angles. There are techniques and strategies for that kind of situation, but none can really capitalize on actually being able to tell where everything around you is." He laughed. "Ero-nii wouldn't help me out 'cause this was supposed to be my own style, and I know that the Hyūga don't like telling anyone about the specifics of their style, so I sort of shelved that since with my talons I could pull off Toad Style pretty well…"

Hiashi's eyes widened. "Toad Style? Isn't that reserved for those who have mastered the Sage Arts possessed by the Toad summons?"

The blonde paled. "Ah… um… well yeah… sort of… but the toad elders like me and thought I could at least… you know get a head start on that taijutsu training before they actually started me on the sage training…" ' _A bit of a stretch… but it's technically true…'_ The blonde mentally laughed nervously. ' _Pa wanted to knock out any kinks in my form after I first talked to him in this time period before he wanted to test out my sage abilities again…'_ "I think they warmed up to me after they found out that I call Jiraiya Ero-Sennin…"

Neji sighed. "Ero-Sennin… Ero-nii… you weren't kidding when you said you naturally attract perverts to yourself…"

Naruto frowned at Neji and pretended to not see the horrific shade of red that Hinata's face had become. "You forgot Kakashi-sensei, Iruka-sensei, the old man, that guy Ebisu who trains Konohamaru, those other two perverted old guys from Iwa…" The blonde started to count on his fingers before noticing everyone staring at him. "What? My sexy technique is really good at distracting people and revealing closet perverts. I've only come across a handful of men who aren't really affected by it when they aren't expecting anything. On a side note… I do believe that our treasured last Uchiha is batting for the other team…"

"For the last time Dobe, I'm Not Gay!" Shouted a voice from the hallway.

"Then go on a date with Sakura already!" Naruto replied, not at all surprised with his teammate's presence. "I swear, if you hold back anymore, your little Uchiha is gonna fall off!"

"I keep on telling you! Every time it looks like we get closer, she reverts back into some of her fangirl habits!" The Uchiha countered. "The last time I left her alone in my room, I found her trying to steal some of my boxers!"

"Uh…" The blonde coughed. "That was actually my fault. I was planning a prank on you and I needed bait for lure the fan girls into position… It took a pretty ryō and some of my blackmailing photos of you for Sakura to play along with it in the first place…"

"The fangirl boxer black market incident was because of you? I'll kill you!" Roared the Uchiha as sounds of some minor scuffling was heard outside the room.

Hiashi coughed, gaining the blonde's attention once again. "If we can get back on our original conversation about your taijutsu… why did you not simply ask my daughter for help?"

Naruto shrugged as Hinata continued to try and make herself invisible while healing her secret boyfriend. "Like I said, you guys are known for keeping everything about your bloodline and style a secret with a near religious passion. I mean, yeah, I asked Hinata-chan for a few pointers for what I should do in certain situations, but what I really needed were the basic and maybe some of the advanced kata that were the foundation for those tactics. Since I didn't want her to get into trouble with her family, I didn't ask her for those. I know what to do, but my body doesn't do it on reflex, and since that's half of what any taijutsu is, I'm stuck."

Hiashi looked at the boy curiously. "You sound as if your teacher has already learned a style that covers said weakness…"

"He did." Naruto yawned. "He said he came across some clan a long time ago that possessed a really potent sensory ability like ours and they taught him some of their basics after he did a few favors for them. I have no idea who or where they are now though." He shrugged. "But he's a lot like Ero-Sennin. He gives me hints, but I pretty much always have to figure out how to do the big things by myself… like chakra control… and sneaking around clan compounds in order to pull pranks while increasing my stealth… and how to warm up the air around me after shoving me in a freezer for nearly half a day… and surviving being thrown off a cliff… and that one time he left me in a bar owned by some insane ex-jōnin to take care of Hana and Anko-sensei while they were both blackout drunk and the tab wasn't paid… and that time…"

"I see that he's a very thorough teacher…" Hiashi stated blandly causing everyone to stare at him again.

 _'Is he doing this on purpose?'_ They all thought, clearly confused.

"Still…" The leader continued. "I thank you for your consideration of my daughter's and clan's wellbeing… though it is not necessary anymore. Normally we would deny anyone from learning any of the specifics of our clan art without a second thought. However, I believe you have proven to be an exception." Everyone's eyes widened. "Please come to our clan compound whenever you are ready to start your training… I will make sure that we will have adequate space for you to practice alongside your clones…" ' _It's not like they're going to be outside of the clan for long after all, given that you are attracted to my daughter and are secretly engaged to her… even if you don't know of that second part…'_ The man sighed to himself.

"Th-thanks Hiashi-sama…" Naruto gaped, not really ever expecting any of the Hyūga to help him out. He had thought that he was going to have to make something up in order to cover that blind spot in his style. "Wait… how do you know that I train with my clones?" The blonde paused before leering at the man again skeptically.

Hiashi snorted. "No, I have not been spying on you Naruto. My daughter and nephew have seen you train using them many times. I do try to make a habit of conversing with them, after all…"

 _'This_ _time through you do, at least…'_ The blonde deadpanned. "Heh… yeah. Shadow clones are awesome. It's too bad they take up so much chakra for everyone else though… actually… I thank that's a good thing now that I think about it. I mean… can you imagine what it would have been like if fangirls could use it?"

Thump.

Everyone paused as they turned to the hallway where the sound came from. "Hiashi-sama! Sasuke Uchiha has just collapsed for some reason!" Shouted a random clan member, causing those who knew Sasuke to sweatdrop. "We swear we had nothing to do with it!"

"Note to self… teach Sakura the shadow clone technique and bribe her to act like a fangirl for Sasuke again…" Naruto mumbled as he wrote down the thought in a small booklet that wasn't there before. "Money spent for her to do so is irrelevant…"

Hiashi sighed. "Uzumaki, if it is possible, can you please behave more appropriately? If not for me, then for my clan, who took their time out of their busy schedule to come here. It is rather unbecoming of you and embarrassing to us to act the way you are currently are when we are showing you our gratitude."

The blonde stopped writing for a moment before sighing and putting down his booklet. Looking up, almost all the Hyūga flinched at the sudden change in demeanor of the boy. His eyes were sharper and his posture seemed more adult-like. Still, there was a strong sense of relaxation and aloofness in the way he held himself. "Sorry… but it's a bad habit of mine…" The blonde chuckled lightly. "I'm not really good with dealing with these situations, so I kinda dumb myself down to make things more manageable for me."

 _'I've seen him like this before when he was fighting Sasuke and when he was ordering us during the invasion…'_ Neji mused. ' _He's still trying to keep his childish personality… but he's also completely in control of himself now… he reminds me of how Gai-sensei acts in tense situations… who are you Uzumaki'?_

Hiashi nodded. "It's understandable. Anyway, I've had my say here. I must get back to the compound. Despite those traitors being ex-Main house Hyūga, the state they left many of the rooms in the compound is below abysmal…"

"Well, prison does have a habit of changing people." Naruto sniggered. "Thanks again for helping out with my taijutsu…"

The next few hours went on pretty much as expected. One by one, the Hyūga clan personally thanked the blonde and offered various gifts to the boy, who sheepishly turned down almost all of them (he wasn't much of an art collector, and he had enough nice clothes to ensure that he wouldn't need any more for a while). Sasuke was taken to a nearby room for some minor stress relieving therapy, and Neji, Hanabi, and Hinata stayed by the blonde's side, being the last people in his room.

"So the academy's shut down until all the renovations to the building and the therapy for all the students are done?" Naruto asked skeptically as he looked at Hanabi. "Lucky…"

Neji's eyebrow twitched. "Her family almost died and she was almost kidnapped by homicidal escapees and you call her lucky?"

"Bah! Mere details and excuses to hide the true goal of their evil!" The blonde claimed in an authoritative tone. "It was to rid the world of our academy and prevent me from sharing my awesomeness with the younger generation! Isn't that right, Hinata-chan?" He paused for confirmation, only to get a mumbled groan from the girl, whose hands were still somewhat glowing on Naruto's chest. "Hinata-chan… how long have you been healing me?" Naruto said slowly, growing more concerned with each second.

Hinata responded by collapsing across his lap…

o. o. o.

Several floors below:

"You know, I was wondering when they'd notice that she was constantly healing him for the past 2 hours…" Ghost sighed as he sipped some tea and leaned against the table that Waltz was doing paperwork on.

"She'll be fine." The old man sighed as he finished up his report. "It's just a minor case of chakra exhaustion and she's in a hospital. It's not like there isn't anyone to help…"

"So who were you working on for the past couple hours?" The blind immortal asked curiously as he tried to get a better look at the files.

"It was one of the idiots who survived Naruto's bombing run." Waltz replied bluntly. "The man had a good portion of one of his arms blown off and burns over the rest of his body. It was so severe that only Tsunade and I were allowed to do any risky procedures on him…" A faint smirk flashed through his beard…

"You did that thing where you closed his wounds in a way that his nerves were exposed on the outside and would slowly decay in a painful and drawn out fashion, yet not so painful that he would actually require more medical help until a few months from now… again… didn't you?" Ghost deadpanned.

"He'll live… and that's all that really mattered after all…" The old man sighed almost innocently.

"And people say Crypt is twisted." Ghost sighed. "Still… you're getting better. There were still bodies that looked like bodies at the academy, and you even left that one guy alive before leaving. Plus you didn't barge into the Hyūga compound in a bloody wrath…"

"Only because you stopped me…" The once infamous Red Flood grunted.

"Hey, all I did was promise to butcher some of the guys there in your stead, and few things define the butchering of others better than War Scars… not including you going nuts..." Ghost shrugged. "Normally stopping you from going on a rampage involves destroying a mountain or 50."

"Considering your legs are paralyzed from exiting your personal training session without doing the required cool down routines, I highly doubt you would have lasted long enough against me to calm me down…" Waltz replied, noting that the only thing keeping his family member up right now were the laws of physics and efficient posturing.

"I rushed out because you were in the middle of a hissy fit, I deserve a bit more credit here." Pouted the blind man before he drank some more of his tea. "So Ino's gonna hold the brat a birthday party at our place…"

"A decision influenced by Danzō's Yamanaka spy?" Waltz asked. The Ōgakari long since predicted that Fū Yamanaka would be used to try and delve into Ino's mind and try to get information about them the moment the girl returned home after the Chūnin Exams.

"Maybe. It's not like we were going to say no in the first place." Ghost shrugged. "All we really have to do is keep the basement and our rooms locked and we won't have to worry about anything big getting out. Ino's in no real danger since Danzō's grasping at straws and we're letting Ino give them to him. We take away that resource and he might get desperate and do something stupid. We don't want Danzō to do anything stupid just yet." He groaned. "Man! Can you hurry up and finish that paper so you can heal my legs already? Crypt could be gnawing on them for all I know and I wouldn't be able to tell!"

No sooner than he said that then the two suddenly heard the sound of a creature chewing on something hard. Waltz and Ghost paused, looked at each other, and then down in the direction of the source to see Crypt chewing on a wooden crutch like a dog.

"I hope someone wasn't using that…" Ghost said blankly.

"No. We've gotten to the point where we're labeling the crutches in use and leaving out the previously broken ones for him to chew on." Waltz sighed. "It only took a week's worth of training before he finally got it right and he stopped going for the ones in use… and office table legs… and prosthetics…"

"I know I shouldn't be asking this…" Ghost mused as the wooden medical appliance gave a healthy snap. "But I've always wondered… how the hell do dogs and Crypt eat these things without getting splinters?"

o. o. o.

Suna:

"How can you stand this place?" Shikamaru grumbled as he walked with Temari through Suna. "It's too hot and bright during the day to go cloud watching or take a nap, and it's too dark and cold during the night…"

"I'm sorry. I'll get right on changing the location of my home village so it suits your desires…" Temari rolled her eyes. "Honestly, it's times like this that I remember that you're actually a kid and not an old man."

"Eh. I'm just ahead of my time…" Yawned the Nara before he momentarily shivered. For some reason he's had this odd tingling sensation crawling up his spine for the past few hours… "Still, how can you guys get anything done when it's so damn bright out during the day?"

The blonde sighed. "You just get used to it after a while… it comes with living here all your life."

"Yeah, yeah…" Sighed Shikamaru as he looked around Suna. He had been in the village for a while helping out with some minor paperwork, but this was the first day he had off to see the village in detail. It was… rather bland in his personal opinion. Other than the very frantic marketplace, some mildly interesting looking buildings and rock formations, there wasn't really much to look at other than sand. "All I know is that this mission of mine is troublesome…"

"You'd claim getting your clothes on would be troublesome if you didn't already do it without thinking…" Droned a new voice from behind the pair, causing Temari to jump in surprise.

"Gaara! What the heck are you doing following us?" Temari shouted in shock, but in the process scaring the shit out of the villagers in hearing range since they still were scared of the jinchūriki.

"I heard that Nara had the day off and thought it would be interesting to talk to him for a while…" Droned the redhead. "However, I am in no rush and do not wish to interrupt anything…"

Temari rolled her eyes. "You really need to work on how you word your sentences, Gaara." She pointed to Shikamaru. "You make it sound like I have a crush on this brat or something. I'm just showing him around because he helped us out in Konoha."

"I second that statement." Yawned Shikamaru. "Plus, it's not like anything is happening in general anyways…" He paused for a moment as his stomach growled. "I could go for some food though…"

"I know of a place…" Gaara started before Temari put her foot down and interrupted him, much to the shock of the people listening into the conversation.

"No Gaara. Not gizzard. Not tongues. Not organs. Not again. Not with guests. No." The blonde grunted irritably. "I understand that you like eating them, but we don't."

"Troublesome…" Sighed the shadow user as he noted the stares they were all getting. "Let's just go to a barbecue. They have a good range of stuff to eat there."

"Fine." Temari relented. "You have a point. There's a good restaurant right across the street from us anyway…"

"That's… convenient…" Gaara mused as he looked at Shikamaru skeptically. "You chose barbecue because you saw the restaurant was less than 20 meters away didn't you?"

The Nara smirked. "And if I did?"

"…Touché…" The jinchūriki relented emotionlessly, getting more civilians to stare at the group in surprise.

"Oi Konoha kid!" Shouted a random chūnin from down the road who seemed to hold a grudge against Gaara. "You might want to be a bit careful when hanging around that short brat. He's not exactly normal!"

Gaara glanced at the man emotionlessly before following his irritated sister into the building.

Shikamaru let out a huge yawn and followed the redhead. "I know. I fought him in the Chūnin Exam finals and he almost killed me… but it's too annoying to keep on obsessing over the past." He replied casually as he walked in the building, leaving all the people who heard him in shock.

"He fought Gaara and lived?" Whispered a couple of civilians curiously.

"Wait, didn't Gaara only fight one person in the Konoha Chūnin Exam finals before the invasion started?" Mumbled another chūnin who was in another part of Konoha during the invasion.

"You mean the Black Deer of Konoha?" Mused a genin teenage girl. "The kid that supposedly used shadows like Gaara could use sand? That was him? No way! He's still just a brat!"

"So is Gaara, though…" Countered the chūnin warily…

"You did that on purpose, didn't you?" Temari grunted as Shikamaru walked into the building. "I thought you tried to go out of your way to make things less troublesome for yourself."

"I do." Yawned the bored teen. "Now a good portion of the guys here will simply stay back unless I ask them something instead of try and pick a 'whose village is stronger' fight with me. Also, it gets rid of a lot of those troublesome guys who do nothing but glare at Gaara the entire time…"

"Table for three please…" Gaara droned to the receptionist, who nodded nervously before rushing to get the table set up. "I do not recall asking for your help on the matter…" He commented.

"Other than our fight back in Konoha, I find you one of the least troublesome people I know, meaning I don't mind hanging out with you. The stares, though, I could do without. They're annoying…" Replied Shikamaru as they sat down at a table. Shikamaru and Temari on one side, Gaara on the other.

"I believe I have more of a right to complain about them than you do…" Gaara droned as he looked at the menu. "No gizzard or salted tongue… however, they do have liver…"

Shikamaru snorted. "You should hang out with Chōji if you want to talk about odd eating habits. I have yet to come across a food that he's willingly turned down before… well, other than pet food, but that was on a dare from Kiba."

"That weird dog kid that hit on all the girls in the exam at least once?" Temari mused curiously. "What happened to him? If I remember correctly, he was the only one in your group that didn't make it to the finals."

"He's in a new team with Ino and this pale kid named Sai." Shikamaru replied, not even responding to the curious look that Gaara gave him. "How they work together is beyond me sometimes. Two of them are annoying loudmouths and the third just puts on these fake smiles and speaks with no tact whatsoever." He blinked and looked over the menu again. "Speaking of fake humans, how's that puppeteer of a brother of yours doing?"

"Kankurō is training under Chiyo-baa-sama." Temari replied. "She's a legend here and one of the best puppet masters Suna's ever produced. Some say that her skill was only rivaled by her grandson, Sasori of the Red Sands, and the original puppet master, Monzaemon Chikamatsu…"

"I would be more surprised if I knew who those two were. Sorry." Yawned the Nara, playing off the information like it was nothing. "But from the way you talk about her, it sounds like she's really old, if her grandson is supposed to be some legend. 10 ryō says she's insane."

Several customers who were shinobi coughed heavily at that statement, and many of the others sent the boy dirty looks. "Shikamaru…" Temari whispered. "She's a highly respected member of Suna's shinobi community. It would be best if you didn't say things like that…"

"Troublesome…" Sighed Shikamaru. "Look. I have yet to meet or hear of a shinobi who is THAT old, alive, and that strong without having some kind of mental tic. Jiraiya of the Sannin is a self-proclaimed super pervert, along with the current Tsuchikage and I'm suspecting the Third Hokage. Tsunade of the Sannin is a heavy drinker and gambler. Several of the elders of Konoha are simply stuck up crones that refuse to adapt to anything, and the elder Ōgakari has been known to deal near lethal injuries to his own family literally **on instinct**. If I ever get to be that strong, I will pray for someone to kill me before I turn 55."

There was silence in the room as everyone pondered what Shikamaru had just said.

"…She is a peculiar and short old woman who pretends to die frequently for a quick laugh." Gaara stated clearly before drinking some water, causing everyone to face fault.

"Case and point." The Nara smirked before shivering again. The tingling sensation was getting more distinct.

"Oi, are you okay? You've been shivering a lot for a bum complaining about the desert heat." Temari asked in an almost concerned tone. "You might have actually gotten sick."

"Yeah, my constant moaning about the heat has finally caused karma to take action." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "I'm not sick. I just have this feeling that something troublesome is going to happen soon…"

"Your sensory skills need work. That troublesome thing happened roughly 5 days ago." Sighed Scabbard from his seat next to Gaara, reading the menu.

Temari appropriately screamed.

"Damn it, woman, I'm right next to you…" Grunted Shikamaru as he picked at his ears and ignored the fact that Gaara had grabbed the man by his sand and hoisted him into the air by instinct.

"Nice to see you guys too…" The immortal deadpanned, ignoring all the scared looks everyone in the restaurant was giving him. "Do you mind putting me down? I wasn't done looking at the menu."

Gaara sighed as he put down the man and retracted his sand. "Must every member of your clan possess the urge to warp normal situations into uncomfortable ones?"

"Most likely. I haven't bothered to look up on that…" The immortal mused as he picked up the menu again. "Hm. This place has an exceptional range of meals considering its location…"

"Th-th-the hell?" Temari hissed still a bit freaked out by the new guest. "What the hell is an Ōgakari doing here?"

"Ordering food. This is a restaurant after all…" Deadpanned the lightning user while ignoring the curious looks that the people were giving the group.

"Oi Scab-sensei. What do you mean that my senses were 5 days off?" Shikamaru grunted warily.

"Hm? Oh, there was a mass breakout from the prison. There were some bumps along the way, but it's been taken care of. Damages and casualties were kept to a minimum. Nothing to worry about." Commented Scabbard as he turned the page. "An interesting list of desserts, too… I may have to come here again the next time I am here…"

"I assume that my order has been finished…" Gaara mused. "Impressive. It has only been a month at the most since I sent out the letter…"

"Three and a half weeks." The man corrected. "I actually finished it almost two weeks ago, but I had prior engagements that needed to be addressed first." He turned to one of the shocked waiters. "Excuse me. I think we are ready to order now…"

Two hours later, in one of Suna's private training grounds:

"Well, at least we got a place in the shade…" Grumbled Shikamaru as the group stood in a field that was next to and overshadowed by Suna's large walls. "Now can you please tell us why the hell you're here and why you dragged us along?"

"You didn't tell them…?" Scabbard stated to Gaara as he began to examine Temari's body, including arms, legs, height and so one.

"There was no need to…" Gaara replied.

"Tell us what? I'm starting to get a bit pissed off here not knowing what the hell is going on!" Temari growled.

"In a few minutes. Tell me, how adept are you at using the bō staff? Or a spear, for that matter." Replied the Ōgakari.

"A bō staff?" Temari asked. "Well, I kinda dabbled in it a few years ago, but to be honest, my fan is too thick and heavy to use those techniques, so I didn't really go that far in that training…"

"Are there any experienced masters of that weapon in Suna?" The immortal continued, tapping on several parts on the girl's arm.

"There are a couple jōnin that are experienced, but none that are on the level of a Kage or elite jōnin." Gaara mused. "We don't talk to them much, but we are aware of one another."

"Good. It will make things easier for both of us." Scabbard nodded. "You definitely have the appropriate build, just not enough training…" He stepped back from the confused girl, pleased with what he saw. "Good. My estimations were correct."

"Care to explain what you two are talking about?" Shikamaru asked with a raised eyebrow.

Gaara closed his eyes. "Consider it a combination of an apology and 12 years' worth of late birthday gifts combined…"

As if on cue, a 6 foot long, pitch black staff slid out of Scabbard's sleeve and was caught by the end. "Ta-dah." The elder genius almost smirked. "A custom Ōgakari weapon, made specifically for you."

Temari's eyes widened considerably as she eyed the pole. She had heard many things about the weapons and tools the man had made, but… "It's… a stick…" She said bluntly. "A very… shiny stick."

The three males raised their eyebrows at the girl's statement before looking at each other, almost amused. "I think a demonstration is in order…" Gaara suggested.

"Ah… okay…" The immortal deadpanned as he slowly put some distance between himself and the others. "To give you fair warning, however… I'm not a wind element, so I can only show you so much…"

With that said, the man instantly blurred into various complex motions with the pole, spinning and twirling it around his body so swiftly and naturally that it soon became apparent that the man was extremely skilled with this sort of weapon.

"The entire body of the staff is constructed out of chakra-fed trees from the Senju compound of Konoha." The man explained as he made several rapid thrusting motions while the tip of the pole began to glow and make snapping noises. "You can easily turn it into a spear regardless of your chakra nature if you train a little in shape manipulation." He then swung the pole from one end in wide sweeping motions. "It's also reinforced with not only with horn from the deer of the Nara clan, but various metals and compounds that I have made myself as well. Overall, it's stronger than almost every metal or stone on the market, and when combined with the Senju wood, it can actually repair itself to some degree if you feed it a constant supply of chakra."

"However… the real selling point is…" He grabbed one end of the pole with two hands and swung it like a baseball bat… just after the other end snapped open almost instantly to reveal a large and beautiful wide spread cloth decorated with both illustrations and seals going both down and across the massive arcing spread. Each segment of the fan had a small portion of the staff supporting its frame, resulting in its new form not at all resembling what it looked like a moment before. The craftsman swung the fan while pushing his chakra into the fabric, resulting in a massive gale of wind being produced that roared toward the village wall and collided with it in a massive explosion that had all the watchers shield themselves from the flying sand and dust.

"Honestly…" Shikamaru grunted as the dust settled. "Can't they for once do things half assed for once? It would make things so much quieter…"

"The cloth is actually silk spun by a special breed of insects inside the Aburame clan and purified by a select section of the Hyūga clan so that its chakra channeling capabilities are maximized. You can open and close the fan simply by using your chakra, saving time in a fast paced battle." Continued the man as the fan snapped shut again without any movement from its maker, returning it to its pole like state without giving any sign that it was a fan in the first place. "The various seals and scriptures on the cloth are chakra amplifying and wind conversion seals, so even a non-wind user can use it, though only wind users can actually get the maximum effect… which I have yet to fully test, to be honest."

Gaara glanced at the section of the wall that was hit and noted that a very sizeable portion of it had been gouged out, leaving a large cave in the town's defenses roughly half the depth of the wall itself. He decided that he would fix that as soon as everything was done here.

Scabbard walked forward to the group again and handed the pole to Temari. "Its name is Ramidreju." He smirked. "Congratulations, you're the first in the Elemental Nations to get one of my custom made weapons."

Temari gaped as she slowly took the staff out of the man's hands. It was incredibly well balanced and she could tell that it would not take her long to get used to it. It was certainly made for her in particular. "This… this weapon… is unreal…" She whispered. "With this… I could easily catch up with everyone and become a legendary shinobi…"

Shikamaru smirked as he patted the girl on the back. "It's troublesome… but welcome to the club of unpredictable shinobi…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"I'm done!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs as he ran out of the office building where he had just handed in his last report on the preparation for the Kyūbi festival which was later that night. "Oh log, thank thee. I am DONE!"

"Over-reacting much?" Sasuke deadpanned as he watched his teammate cry on the ground in pure joy.

"Not at all…" The blonde wept. "I've been working my ass off, clones and all, for the past three days on this damn festival! I was in charge of a good third of the main road's preparation!"

"That doesn't seem that bad." The Uchiha mused. "Normally our D-ranks would be worse than that…"

"I had to write up reports for each separate stall and building I worked on..." Continued the jinchūriki as he crawled into a ball. "Full. Mission. Reports. On. Everything."

Sasuke paused. "I stand corrected… thank god I can only make 10 clones at the most for intensive labor…" He sighed. "At least it's done with and you got paid…"

"Never again…" The blonde whimpered. "I'd rather have another Wave mission…"

"That's not saying much." The Uchiha grunted as he walked forward and picked up his friend. "It went to hell, but the worst injury you got was a scratch that didn't even last more than 10 seconds and you got a bridge named after you."

"Exactly…" Mumbled Naruto with comical tears falling down his face.

"I… but…tch…" Stammered the Uchiha before he gave up on the argument and started to walk down the road. "Come on. Let's get some lunch before the mourning ceremonies begin and everything closes."

"Ah…" The blonde became more somber. "Right… um… you mind if we be a bit stealthy about it? People tend to act out a bit more to me during today considering…"

"Hm? Oh, that… yeah, sure." Sasuke replied, almost as if he had forgotten about Naruto's condition. Almost instantly, the two were jumping over the roofs of Konoha towards Ichiraku's. "So how are those special jōnin requirements coming?" He asked the blonde curiously. "I heard the academy is canceled for a while."

Naruto shrugged. "Eh. The old hag is on the fence with that. She's halfway inclined to just give me that requirement now since apparently my awesomeness has rubbed off on the kids and they're _waaaay_ farther ahead in the curriculum than they're supposed to be. I've worked on a bunch of the guard duty and wall duty rounds since I started teaching, so I'm guessing I'm almost done on that requirement. The Kyūbi festival is adding to my public events… I don't think the next one is until Christmas… that reminds me, I gotta get Hinata-chan a good present…"

"Hn. Why don't you just openly admit that you are dating her?" Sasuke smirked, amused by Naruto's hesitation to actually say it. He and Sakura had figured out that the blonde and the Hyūga were more than just good friends for a while, and they suspected that other members in their circle of friends had as well.

Naruto sighed and frowned. "I'm not for most likely the same reasons why you aren't doing the same with Sakura… we don't want to paint a target on the back of their heads We can't risk something like that yet…"

The Uchiha momentarily looked shocked before frowning and mentally berating himself. "Tch." He grunted, admitting that the blonde was right. After talking to the Third Hokage, Sasuke realized that this mystery man was the cause of all his and Itachi's problems, and if he was dangerous enough to trick his clan into self-destructing and made his brother wary, who knows how bad he could be one-on-one. Until he was not only confident enough in his own abilities but in Sakura's as well, he couldn't risk giving his opponent a major reason to go for his pink haired teammate… and dating her in public was a very good reason use her to get at him.

"Bah! Let's just get some food already!" Grumbled Naruto as they landed in front of Ichiraku's. "Everything will be better once we bloat ourselves with delicious ramen."

"1. I'm not paying. 2. I don't have an overactive digestive system so I can't bloat myself with ramen and expect all that crap inside me to go away the next day." The Uchiha stated, remembering how much money he'd lost the last time he tried both on a dare. The ramen was good… just not that good.

"Silly imaginary things like mere details and facts will not stop me from getting that which I desire!" Claimed the blonde in a fake royal voice, indicating he was back into his partially insane persona. "Come, chicken butt! The noodles beckon us!"

"Oi!" Hissed the Uchiha. "Shut it on the hair bit! Remember what your bastard of a teacher told us about talking about it and his brother…"

"Ah…" Paled the blonde, remembering what his friend was talking about. "Sorry." He shook himself to get rid of the shivers he just got before he slammed face first into the door of the stand. "What the?" He muttered confused. "Ichiraku's is never closed for the day before the mourning." He banged on the door. "Oi, old man! What gives! I demand the food of life!"

"Give it up, dobe." Sasuke sighed as he grabbed the back of the boy's sweater and dragged him away. "They aren't there. Let's just go to that Korean barbecue place for lunch. They should still be open…"

"Raaammmeeeennnn… why have you abandoned me?" The blonde wept as Sasuke shunshined them away in a cloud of smoke.

"Hey… wasn't that?" Whispered a civilian to another.

"Yeah." Nodded another.

"He's been helping out a lot lately around the town…" Mused a random chūnin. "I wonder what he does during the festival."

"No clue." Muttered a teammate. "Actually, doesn't he normally disappear during this time of the year?"

"Come to think of it…"

o. o. o.

Two hours later:

"Hmmm." Naruto grunted absently as he walked out of the bar with Sasuke. "It wasn't as good as the Naruto special that the old man makes me, but the beef wasn't that bad…"

"You could have at least eaten more of the vegetables, dobe…" Growled Sasuke who was trailing behind the blonde. "I barely had room for the meat 'cause I had to eat your share."

"Bah! I'm allowed to be selfish every once in a while." Naruto countered childishly. "Besides, you didn't have to eat them either if you didn't want to…"

"And risk Chōji finding out? I have better things to do than listen to an Akimichi's version of not wasting food, thank you." The Uchiha grunted as he looked at the sky. "The memorial service is about to start… we should get going…"

"Yeah… but…" The blonde paused as he went over what the source of the day's events were for… "Teme… I want to show you something…" The boy stated in an almost tired tone.

Sasuke paused. One look at Naruto told him that whatever the blonde was thinking was important… or at least to him anyways. "If you start making gay jokes again I'm gone." He stated bluntly. "Where to?"

Naruto froze and crossed his arms in thought. "Hmmm… no clue…" Sasuke facefaulted. "It has to be somewhere private, though… and by private, I mean a place where no one can stumble on us and use the event for blackmail later…"

The Uchiha backed up. "Are you sure you're okay? Someone can easily misinterpret what you're saying right now as something gay... normally, it's you doing the interpreting…"

"And you would know because?" The blonde grinned evilly, making the Uchiha frown again.

"Because I spend way too much time with you and that idiot Kakashi." He grunted as he began to walk in a seemingly random direction. "Come on. I know of a spot where no one is gonna bug us. This better be good, dobe…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"I still can't believe your village celebrates this shit, Saru…" Grunted Rōshi as he sat with Sarutobi and Fū near where Tsunade was giving her speech about the will of fire and the Kyūbi's attack. "I mean, yeah that will of fire stuff of yours is nice and all, but why do it on a day when that monster of a shinobi Minato died?"

"It's not only to remember Minato's sacrifice, nor is it to remember the sacrifices of everyone that died during that event, but to remember the sacrifices of everyone who died for our village in general, Rōshi." The God of Shinobi sighed as he smoked from his pipe slowly. "I chose this day because we did not lose precious ones to an enemy shinobi nation or some organization, but to a chaotic beast that held no affiliation to anyone. We fought that day not for honor, glory, or to destroy our enemies, but to protect our homes. And we paid dearly for it. That is why I decided that the memorial be held on this day…"

Fū sighed as she saw several dozen people in front of her wear mourning clothes and bow their heads in prayer and mourning. She saw a few monks of the famed Fire Temple leading the prayers next to Tsunade. God, did she feel out of place. "It's a bit sappy for my tastes… but at least it's more logical and easier to stomach than some of the crap back home…"

"Careful, brat…" Rōshi growled, startling the girl, who didn't expect her fellow jinchūriki to take this so seriously. "I'll admit that I share the same view of this as you do, but I also know that a lot of strong shinobi died for this. I'm not much in favor for Iwa's mindset of things, and I was never that much of a fan of Konoha, but as a veteran, you develop a strong respect for strong people, regardless of where they're from and who they were. You don't step on the graves of people like that just on a whim. They've earned that much."

Sarutobi nodded. "Rōshi is correct, Fū. You could say that there is always a bond established between strong warriors that meet on the battlefield. Even if they don't necessarily respect each other or what they believe in, their hard earned strength is always remembered by their opponents…"

Fū pouted and looked away. "Well, sorry for not fighting in any major wars. The only strong people I've encountered either deny my existence or were the ones that took me out in the first place…"

The Hokage sighed and patted the teen on the back. "That's quite all right. The feeling us old timers are experiencing only comes after multiple trials and life altering events…"

"Like hell it's all right." Rōshi interrupted as he pointed to the surprised girl. "Both of us are bloody legends, and you have the nerve to not even consider us as strong people you know? That's just insulting! All that shit we had to put up with when we were younger, the least brats her age could do is congratulate us on getting out of that hell alive…"

"But in the end, we didn't…" The green haired girl sighed. "Not one of us did…"

Sarutobi sighed. "That time, yes, but since I'm still here and talking to both of you, there's a good chance that both of you can pull through as well this time…" He sighed… "Given we can get through this god awful speech without falling asleep and getting caught by Tsunade…" The aged man paused as he saw the surprised look coming from his allies. "What? I'm a firm believer in the will of fire, but I've done enough public events for _two_ lifetimes, thank you very much. I'm old. I've done this thing countless times already. I deserve my break from this shit already…"

Fū and Rōshi looked at each other worriedly. "You think he's been suppressing his feelings for a bit too long?" Fū whispered nervously.

"I'm more worried about when he finally lets go of his mental restraints…" Rōshi whimpered. "Saru was always a good laugh when he was drunk, but there was more than one reason why Ōnoki and I were glad that he was from a different village. The man can do nearly as much damage as a natural angry drunken fist master when he's had enough booze in him and remember jack in the aftermath. If he completely lets himself go, I think we'll all be in trouble…"

o. o. o.

Uchiha Compound:

"So what the hell was so important that we needed to talk in private?" Sasuke asked as he saw Naruto rummaging through one of his pockets. "If it's another prank, I'm gonna torch you. Potential arson or not."

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't do pranks on my birthday." Sighed the Uzumaki as he took out a scroll and unrolled it. "This, on the other hand, I think you might be interested in." He started to make some seals and channeled his chakra into the second seal matrix on the scroll. Within seconds, a human-sized puppet appeared, fully clothed in ANBU gear and wearing a black mask with a broken glass design in white with long colorless cords streaming from the head.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Okay. You have my interest now. I remember that mask from the invasion, but the design is different." He turned to the blonde, who was going through a long string of seals.

"Teme… I know this is gonna sound crazy, but…" The blonde started before finishing the last seal and slamming his hand on the puppet, making it explode in a cloud of smoke. "… I want you to meet my mom…"

"Your… what?" The Uchiha stammered as the cloud disappeared to reveal not a puppet, but a woman with long red hair scratching her head curiously.

"Ugh… Naruto?" Kushina asked as she took off her mask. "Why did you take me out? Minato-kun and I were having such a good time resting with each other and… who's this?" She cocked her head to the side curiously scanning the boy. "His hair looks like a chicken butt."

"Mom, Teme. Teme, Mom." The blonde grinned as he did introductions.

"Teme?" Kushina repeated anxiously. "You mean your friend, Sasuke Uchiha? Mikoto's boy?"

Sasuke's eyes widened even more. "You… you knew my mother?" He asked hesitantly. He had encountered people in the village who knew of his mother before, but apparently his mother's social life did not reach far outside of the clan.

Kushina responded by letting out a high pitched squeal and hugging the boy tightly. "Oh my goodness! The last time I saw you, you were only a few months old and so adorable! Though not as cute as my Naruto-chan, but you were still so cute!"

"Mooom! Not in front of him!" The blonde groaned.

"And look at you now! 13 and already a Chūnin." Kushina smiled, having no intention of stopping. "With a fully developed Sharingan as well. From what I remember Mikoto telling me about your clan, that gives you one of the best records in your family history! She would be so proud of you…" The red head paused as she took a better look at the boy and sniffed. "Ugh… though I think she would have a fit if you walked around smelling like that every day… and I think she would have more than a few things to say about your choice of hair style…"

Naruto was now laughing as Sasuke blushed for the first time for someone other than Sakura. "Go mom! Keep it up!"

"How…" Sasuke grunted as he tried to free his head from Kushina's strong grip. "How long have you been like this? I thought dobe didn't know who his mom was…"

"Only a couple of months, Sasuke." Sighed the woman. "Before then, my chakra was the main source of power for Naruto's seal and no one knew any better other than Minato-kun and that really weird family you guys hang out with. They were the ones that could make this…" She pointed to herself. "Happen… though I wish the crazy one didn't feel the need to give us a massive panic attack right after I came out…"

Sasuke snorted as he showed Kushina his modified Cursed Seal. "That's still better than what I had to go through. That bastard Crypt had to bite me in the same spot as Orochimaru did in order to fix this annoying seal the snake gave me. I feel unclean as hell every time I remember those moments…"

"But deep down, you know you secretly looooove getting hickies from strange older men…" Naruto grinned childishly before several kunai flew past his head. "I take nothing back, for I am speaking nothing but the truuuuth!" The boy claimed as he hid behind a pillar.

"Even if I didn't get the Mangekyō from killing you, I would still do it if only to get some peace in my life…" The Uchiha growled with several more shuriken in hand before Kushina pounded him on top of his head.

"Oi! You two may be teammates and act like this when you're alone, but when I'm around, you **will** play nice. GOT IT?!" The woman asked while putting a devilish look on her face and her hair began to arc up into 9 segments.

"Yes ma'am." The two boys replied in unison, both instinctively afraid of the woman.

Sasuke froze in shock at how his body reacted. ' _How the hell did she do that?'_

"Good." The elder Uzumaki nodded as if she knew better. "Mikoto would have had a fit if she saw her son kill his best friend for something as stupid as petty revenge…" She pretended to not notice the boy flinch at that comment. "It's a good thing you didn't take after your father, though. He was a strong man, but I swear that the stick up his ass was so big that sometimes you'd think he had 3 legs…"

Sasuke covered his face with his hands. "Well… at least I know without a doubt that she's your mom, dobe…" He stopped for a moment and looked at Kushina curiously. "Hold on… why the heck was your chakra in his seal in the first place? Wouldn't it be powered by the Shinigami's or the Fourth Hokage's?"

Naruto and Kushina exchanged looks for a moment before a nod from the blonde prompted them to look at Sasuke again. "Sasuke…" Kushina started slowly, acting more serious than she had before. "Naruto's told me about what happened to your family and your brother and everything else you told him in private about the one eyed man…" She sighed. "It's time you learned what really happened the night the Kyūbi attacked 13 years ago…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

"Come! We have a party to make!" Ino roared as she, Kiba, Chōji, Haku, Sai, Kin and Lee followed her with their arms filled with party favors and snacks.

"I don't think she's fully recovered from snapping in the exams…" Kiba whispered to Chōji nervously.

"Are you sure it's okay to leave Hinata to do the cooking?" Haku asked worriedly. "I heard she suffered from a case of chakra exhaustion a few days ago…"

"That?" Kiba asked. "Oh, Hinata just felt guilty about Naruto saving her family and getting himself blown up in the process, so she healed the idiot for almost 2 hours without him noticing while the rest of her family thanked him for saving them. She really is head over heels for the guy…" He shifted the bags he was holding a little. "Besides it's not like she's alone. The Ichiraku's, Neji, Tenten, and Shino are with her too…"

"That's cute… but if she isn't careful, she's gonna get killed one day because of it." Kin sighed. "Honestly, she did that to herself just because she felt guilty?"

Ino snorted. "Oh, that's nothing. Back in the academy, she used to actually stalk and follow him until our last year. That was before he became an insane psycho and was simply the biggest idiot in the village."

"Ino, if I remember correctly, you were doing the same thing to Sasuke… along with pretty much every other girl in our class." Kiba deadpanned.

"Kiba. You do realize I will kill you if you drop those bags, right? So why are you tempting me to throw some of my kunai at you?" Ino asked sweetly, causing the rest of the group to sweat nervously.

"Because I'm a lowly dog that can't keep my mouth shut, apparently…" The Inuzuka wept.

"Oh… okay. I was just wondering." The blonde replied, seemingly normal again. "That makes things make so much more sense now…"

"Bitch be whipped…" Kin sniggered to Sai.

"It would be best not to say that to him…" Sai responded in a lecturing tone. "I found out recently that it is ill advised to call anyone from Kiba-san's clan that word…"

"That's an understatement if I've ever heard one." Ino rolled her eyes. "Hana-sensei and Kiba nearly tore you to shreds before their partners bit you all over your body. Honestly, where the hell did you grow up, under a rock? Everyone in the village knows that, Sai. Kin is excused 'cause she moved in recently, but you should know that."

Sai in response gave an apologetic smile. "You could say I've had a sheltered life. Interacting with others outside of a work environment was not very high on the priority list when I was brought up…"

"I see! You still have your flames of youth, only they have yet to be exposed to the glory of everyone else's!" Lee stated energetically.

"Naruto-san seems to enjoy my current behavior just the way it is…" Sai commented curiously. "A few days ago, he took me through town and asked me what nicknames I would give random people walking by us. He seemed rather amused by my observations…"

"Knowing what you normally call people… I'm not surprised…" Deadpanned Chōji. "… Speaking of Naruto, how much longer do we have left until Sasuke brings him over for the party?"

"About another hour." Haku replied. "That should give us enough time to get everything ready. Zabuza-sama and Shadow-san are out on missions, and the rest of the Ōgakari will be out for most of tonight so we can have the house to ourselves. Apparently they're running their own stall at the festival to earn some extra money. As long as we keep out of the basement and their rooms, we can do pretty much anything we want there."

"Oh man, for adults these guys are completely kick ass!" Kiba grinned. "We're gonna raid their booze so much…" He paused for a moment. "Except for you, Lee. You are the party's designated maintainer of our flames of youth, so you're not allowed any alcohol."

"You are correct!" Lee said with burning eyes. "I have taken on the selfless duty of ensuring that the party's flames of youth do not dwindle until an appropriate time!"

The rest of the group looked at each other warily. Other than having a good time, they were determined to keep Lee away from booze at all costs.

"Ahh…" Ino groaned. "I wish Shika or forehead were here at least. The party won't nearly be as fun without those two buzz kills around to bug with all the crap that is going to end up flying everywhere…"

"Do you think we should tell Shikamaru about Naruto's… well… you know…" Kiba started off skeptically.

"Odds are he already knows." Chōji sighed. "Everyone knows he's smart, but I've seen him when he really focuses on things, it's like he gets 5 years older in an instant. He hangs out sometimes with Naruto too, and I've seen them share looks that make it seem like they're hiding something." He grunted as he shifted his bags. "He probably figured it out a long time ago, but doesn't really care much. If it's not enough to bother Shikamaru, it's not enough to bother me."

 _'Danzō-sama might want to know of that…'_ Sai mused as they approached the Ōgakari home.

"Oi, boring people! We're back!" Kiba roared as Haku opened the front door.

"The boring people have knives in their hands!" Tenten's voice shouted from the kitchen. "Don't convince us to be not-boring!"

Chōji placed a hand on Kiba's shoulder and stared at the boy with wide traumatized eyes. "Kiba, please don't anger Tenten. I don't like sharp things being thrown at me." He asked in a haunted voice.

"S-sure Chōji…" Kiba laughed nervously. ' _Why the hell is everyone going psycho on me today?'_

"The food smells great!" Ino squealed as she ran to where Hinata and the rest of her group were working. "Are you guys sure that you made enough for everyone that's coming?"

Ayame smiled as she stirred some ramen. "Yeah! The kitchen here is big enough for us to all work in with room to spare, and they have more than enough stuff to cook in." She pointed to a small pile of cook books. "We've even tried out some of the recipes in them. The funny thing is that Ghost-san has apparently written notes about pretty much all of them next to the list of things to do. A lot of them are really ingenious!" A timer went off, prompting the girl to move to the nearby oven. "I'm hoping he'll let dad and I take some for our restaurant when he comes by later…"

"I don't blame you…" Chōji drooled as he walked into the kitchen. "My nose is in heaven…"

"Hinata's been working the hardest." Chuckled Teuchi as he watched the girl prepare a large plate of ribs and place them into another oven before decorating a cake. "The girl really is head over heels for the boy… and from what I've seen, he's almost the same way…" He paused as he started to mix up some sort of sauce. "Funny thing is, I think they both know it, but they aren't willing to date yet… at least admit it to everyone else yet. Almost like they're afraid of something…" He laughed. "Ah, kids and their young love…"

Ino and the other shinobi who were listening had different thoughts. ' _Naruto… actually afraid?'_

Sai wasn't listening as he was briefly checking the door to the basement. ' _Locked… and my mice can't get in… it seems that the Ōgakari prepared for such a possibility… I guess I will just try to find out something else while I am here…'_

"Man…" Ayame sighed, completely oblivious to the rest of the shinobi as she watched Tenten chop up some meat for the ramen with incredible speed and skill, giving the ramen chef the impression that the weapons mistress had once performed on Iron Chef. "I thought you said you were only okay at cooking. You're going through the fresh produce faster than I can prepare everything else!"

"Ah…" Tenten blushed. "It's nothing really. I'm just really good with knives…" The girl didn't have the heart or the nerve to tell the others that she had actually copied one of Ghost's kitchen knives and mimicked the memories of the blade for her current culinary tasks. She had practiced enough that she could recreate low level blades without reciting the first line of the poem. She could only imagine how fast and efficiently the owner could actually do this if what she was emulating was a mere fraction of his skill.

"30 minutes…" Shino warned as he put another bowl of snacks down on a table in the back yard of the home. "I am curious. How much of the Ōgakari's entertainment system can we access… and how much of it do we know how to use?"

"Ah…" Haku blushed and scratched the back of her head. "Well, they taught me how to use the music system, but they didn't want us to play around with their television much. Something about Scabbard-san and annoying controls, so I doubt we would be able to get it work."

"It would be best if we didn't touch it…" Neji warned. "I have heard that Scabbard-san frequently booby-traps things he does not want others to use. His room's door handle, for example, is charged with a significant amount of electrical chakra that is frequently changing frequencies."

"Well, that makes things easier for me…" Kiba stated as he immediately turned around away from the television that he was just about to screw around with.

"You know, it was really nice for those Ōgakari guys to lend us their home for the party…" Teuchi mused. "But does anyone really know what they are doing at the carnival?"

The ninja in the room paused for a moment before all shivering.

"Only the Ōgakari know what goes on in their minds… and even then that's only occasionally…" Neji shivered.

o. o. o.

At the Festival:

"Come one, come all! We have some of the best foreign cuisine in the festival!" A clone of Ghost's shouted as the original, several more clones, and Waltz prepared various western dishes for the people there. Standing to either side were Hana and Anko dressed in yukata, attempting to draw in more customers. "While you are enjoying one of our pizza slices or cheese steak sandwiches, please feel free to donate money to help shinobi with crippling disabilities and their families, as well as war orphans! The more money we get, the farther up we will launch my insane brother Crypt into the sky with this absolutely fabulous customized firework!"

"Why the hell are we doing this again?" Anko asked with a fake smile on her face.

"Because his other plans involved us in less clothing and no fun time later tonight…" Hana replied also with a fake smile on her face.

Those listening to the clone looked in the direction the clone was pointing to, to see Crypt tied up to a massive cylinder with wings, giggling mindlessly. "I've got a big bag of crabs heeeeerrreee…"

"Don't worry, folks. Crypt here is a highly trained and very experienced idiot." The clone assured the now very shocked crowd. "Believe me when I say this, doing this will have absolutely no negative effects on him whatsoever…"

o. o. o.

Near the Ōgakari Compound:

"Well… when I woke up today, I certainly didn't expect to talk to my friend's dead mom and hear the story of how she died and that it's related to my brother killing my family…" Sasuke sighed as he walked with Naruto to the Ōgakari's place.

"Yeah… I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" The blonde sighed in an airy tone.

"You're full of so much random crap that I sometimes wonder how it doesn't slop everywhere…" Deadpanned Sasuke. "How I can still stand looking at you is beyond me."

"Huh… well, that makes fighting you with your eyes on easier…" Pondered Naruto thoughtfully. "Speaking of your pinkeye, how's your training with Kakashi-sensei going?"

The Uchiha smirked. "Not bad, actually. I learned a few new tricks that I can do with Chidori. Still can't use them in battle situations yet 'cause they either take up too much chakra or are too hard to make naturally… but I might just be able to kick your ass easily if we have an all-out fight again…"

Naruto replied the smirk with one of his own. "Oh? Progress! You might actually not hold me back when we actually get sent on real missions later…"

"Dobe…" Sasuke growled as a spark of electricity shot around him, slowly growing in size.

"Teme…" Naruto grinned as the air around him began to pick up.

The two boys glared at each other for almost a minute while flaring their chakra, their elements clashing against one another occasionally, almost daring the other to make the first move… before they both burst out laughing and diffusing the situation instantly.

"Ahahahahaha!" Naruto roared. "Man that felt good! We were almost at each other's throats! We should do that more often! Hahahahaha!"

"Heheheh. If it were anyone else, I might have already done something." Sasuke chuckled. "Only you dobe… only you…" He shook his head and calmed down. "Thanks…" He mumbled out quietly.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked. "You say something, Teme?"

"Nothing important." Sighed the Uchiha as he began walking again. "Just that you really need to take a bath or something. You smell like crap."

"Paperwork! Clones! 8 hours!" The blonde raged instantly as the Ōgakari building came into view. "I swear I set up half the freaking festival and did more than that much of the registry forms!" He ranted. "Do you know what it's like to have the memory of accidentally smashing your fingers with a hammer go through your head every 20 minutes?"

"Well, now I know not to ask you to do any construction work on any place worth focusing on…" Sasuke smirked, knowing full well that Naruto was the one who did most of the work on the bridge in wave.

"I'm a ninja, not an architect!" The jinchūriki countered. "I specialize in blowing stuff up, not making them!"

"Which is why you're forbidden from helping Tenten make any more high level exploding tags…" Deadpanned the Uchiha as he reached the door. "We're all too afraid of you giving Konohamaru or his friends one of them…"

"But you know that would be the best present to give a kid that age in order to make them worship you for the rest of their live!" Naruto moaned.

"Yeah… all 5 minutes of it." The Uchiha countered as he opened the door. "Come on. This place always gives me the creeps. I'm always expecting that nut Crypt jumping out and try to do something else fucked up to me again. The sooner you help me out with whatever I'm supposed to get here, the sooner we can leave psycho ward… something about instructions for melding my lightning and fire elements easier…"

Naruto snorted. "Goodie. Fire-lightning hybrid elements. Honestly, how the hell does that work? A flashbang art? Just a few seals and…" He paused. "There are a lot of living things in here… did Crypt sneak into Scab's experiment lab again before they left?" He took out a couple of kunai. "Ye shall not have my organs this time, vile beasts!"

"Surprise!" Shouted everyone in the room as they popped out of their hiding spots, which, being ninja, were actually well placed… only for Kiba to get pinned to a wall by the two kunai that Naruto had taken out a second earlier. "What the hell, man?" The Inuzuka roared as he tried to free himself.

"Huh?" The blonde blanched as he looked around and saw the Happy Birthday sign, the food, everyone there either looking at him expectantly… or at Kiba who had just been pinned to the wall. There was a small pile of gifts in one corner of the room, and for the most part everyone seemed to be in a good mood. "Ah…" He nodded. "It was only Kiba. Silly Kiba, you know better than to jump out and try to surprise me when you haven't taken a bath in over a week…"

"That's it! This is the last time I try and do something nice for you, Uzumaki!" Roared the boy as he continued to dislodge himself from the wall.

"It's not my fault you look and smell like something that was the result of a mad scientist experiment gone wrong… or one of Orochimaru's experiments gone 'right.'" Naruto pouted in his defense before blinking several times and looking around again. "Wait… this is a birthday party? For me?"

"Holy crap, you only just realized that? How slow are you?" Kin roared angrily from where she was standing. "Even spandex boy would have gotten it faster than you!"

"Judging from the position of the moon and the sun, probably the speed of an infant civilian's at the moment." Naruto replied honestly. "What do you expect? It's not like I've been invited to a decent number of parties in my life." He shrugged as he walked into the building, noting that everyone became significantly more somber at that comment. "Buuut I'm fairly certain…" He grinned as he reached the drinks table and grabbed some beer. "That they start off with everyone getting shit faced!" He roared before he drank the entire container quickly and slammed the cup down and ran to the kitchen. "Gah! It buuuuurrrrrnnnsss!"

Naruto got cheers and laughs from everyone in the room.

"Heheh…" Jiraiya laughed as he snuck out from his hiding place. "The brat still can't handle the adult drinks…"

"Actually, it's the opposite pervert." Tsunade sighed as she appeared next to him. "Because of the fox, he'll probably be able to handle more alcohol in his system than the rest of the village combined before he actually gets buzzed… lucky little bastard…"

The Toad Sage smirked as everyone else in the room swarmed the blonde as he stumbled out of the kitchen completely disoriented. "He's good at playing a crowd though to hide his true feelings…" He sighed as he momentarily saw the boy's eyes water for a moment before returning to normal. "He's really just so happy that he doesn't really know how to express himself…" He sighed as he scratched the back of his head. "The overconfident fool persona… comes in handy more often than anyone ever really realizes…"

"Speaking from experience?" Tsunade asked in an almost concerned tone as she watched Hinata approach her crush.

"… More often than anyone ever really realizes…" Repeated the Sannin in an almost regretful tone…

"Happy birthday, Naruto-kun…" Hinata smiled as she gave Naruto a long hug. "We started planning for it ever since you were in the hospital…"

"You mean I started planning for it!" Ino roared, already buzzed due to her light weight and her low alcohol tolerance. "Worship the ground I stand on like Chōji does, Blondie!"

"Ino, I'm not going to carry you back home if you keep on bringing me up in conversations like that…" Chōji grumbled as Shino patted him on the back sympathetically.

"She's already got you carrying her home like a princess?" Kiba laughed as he finally yanked the last kunai pinning his coat to the wall. "Dude, you are so whipped!"

Unfortunately for Kiba, Ino's hearing was not one of the things affected by early inebriation. "Oi mutt! No one talks down to Chōji like that but me! Shintenshin!" She yelled as she aimed her body swapping technique at the dumbstruck Inuzuka.

Moments later Kiba, was walking in a flamboyant manner across the room. "Whew! Man, these clothes stink! I feel like taking them off…"

Naruto blinked as the possessed Inuzuka began to take his coat off. "Well… this party has already been engraved in our minds as the one Kiba will never let us bring up in conversation ever again…" He grabbed Hinata's hand. "Let's get out of here before we become as mentally scarred as Kiba…"

"Right…" Giggled Hinata as she followed Naruto outside of the house and then jumped onto the roof of the building. She loved Kiba like a brother, but like all brothers, he was prone to do stupid things that she had no intention of helping him out of.

"So…" Naruto sighed as the pair heard cheers and cries of disgust from the building. "You're all better from draining yourself of chakra a few days ago?"

Hinata nodded. "Y-Yeah. Sorry for worrying you…" She pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "I just… felt guilty. I couldn't do anything to help my clan when we were attacked… and yet you came in again to save us and got hurt because of my inability to do anything…"

Naruto responded by lightly hitting the girl over her head. "Idiot…" He sighed. "There's nothing wrong with getting caught if it means making sure your loved ones aren't hurt. Your dad was probably caught the same way, and odds are likely that he is one of the few people in the village that can still kick my ass… as long as I'm not using the Kyūbi's chakra or Sage Mode, of course…" He added childishly, causing Hinata to giggle.

"That may be so, but he has told me that if he catches you doing anything indecent to me, not even Tsunade-sama will be able to prevent him from castrating you…" She sighed, causing Naruto to pale.

"If that's the case, please don't tell Ero-nii." Naruto shivered. "He would simply interpret it as a new training exercise for me…"

o. o. o.

With Ghost:

Said blind immortal turned to the sky with a dazed look. "I sense… future possibilities… delicious… exquisite possibilities…" He struck a pose and pointed to the sky. "These glorious existences must be FOUND!"

o. o. o.

Back with the teenage lovebirds:

"My self-preservation senses are tingling…" The boy stated with wide eyes. "I'm scared…"

Hinata hugged the suddenly scared shitless boy tightly. "It's okay, Naruto-kun. I won't let the bad mean insane people get you…"

The two remained in that position for a while as they listened to the party go on and Kiba apparently regained control of his body again… and found his pants… before Naruto spoke up again. "You know… it's not possible to protect and save everyone, Hinata-chan…" He said in a soft tone, almost in a way as if to admit it to himself.

"I know…" Hinata replied as she hugged him tighter. "I just… feel so helpless when I can't help even a single person… it feels like it's rubbed in my face every time I remember it…"

"Hinata-chan… no one can protect everyone…" The blonde sighed. "… That's why people have friends and help them get stronger. It's so we can help others and each other without getting in over our heads… though even that isn't guaranteed…"

"I know that, Naruto-kun…" Whispered Hinata. "I just wished that I wasn't so helpless and powerless so much…"

"It's okay. There's nothing wrong with that." Naruto responded. "Shit happens. I feel powerless sometimes about my situation, too… but I just laugh it off as shitty luck and hope that it doesn't happen again… and if it does, I at least know what to expect…" He deadpanned. "Though that doesn't really help out with all the hell Ero-nii's put me through…"

Hinata laughed. "I doubt anything could prepare a person for Ghost-sensei's training…" She paused before kissing the boy on his head. "Happy birthday Naruto-kun…"

Naruto grinned. "I thought we weren't at the present part of the party yet."

The girl grinned happily. "I decided to spoil you a bit…"

Several minutes later…

"You two are done with your private time, I see…" Jiraiya grinned as Naruto and Hinata walked back into the fully active party.

"You're eager to talk to a pair of puppets I have about a certain pornographic book, I see…" Naruto countered, causing the sage to pale instantly.

"I trust my cousin is in good condition…" Neji stated casually, almost perfectly hiding the underlying threat in the sentence.

"I'm not sure…" Naruto replied with an airy tone. "Why don't you check for yourself?"

Hinata jabbed Naruto in the stomach with a jūken strike before turning to her cousin. "He didn't do anything and if I catch you looking at me, YOU'LL be the one left in pieces by the end of the night…" She warned.

Neji sputtered and stepped back. "I had no intention of doing something like that, Hinata-sama! I was just making sure that…"

He stopped as the girl laughed lightly and patted him on the shoulder. "It's okay, Nii-san. I was just playing with you… you really do need to relax a bit more…"

"Heheh… you got played, Neji…" Naruto sniggered, still hunched over as Hinata went to get a drink.

"Do you want another jūken strike to match the one Hinata gave you?" Neji asked irritably.

"Hold on for a sec, I'm weighing my options…" The blonde replied, looking almost as if he was considering it.

"Ah yes! I almost forgot!" Haku shouted as she pounded a fist into her other hand. "The Ōgakari did say they set up a karaoke machine for us…"

"Yes!" Lee shouted excitedly. "I cannot wait to show everyone the flames of youth of my voice!"

"Uuugh…" Ino groaned. "I should have waited longer before going back to my body…"

"The hell you're possessing me again, devil woman!" Kiba shouted as he ran into another room, causing everyone to laugh until they saw that Ino was looking at them all intently.

"They seem to be having fun." Kurenai chuckled to Asuma as the jōnin-sensei watched the shinobi in the room run away from Ino.

"RAAAAMMMMEEEENNNN!" Naruto's voice was heard from the kitchen.

"They definitely do…" Smirked the bearded man as he spied Gai ranting and smiling next to the beverages section. "Whoever's idea it was to station Gai at the drinks area is a log damned genius."

"It was mine." Kakashi sighed as he read his book. "And it originally was to keep him away from me and Lee away from any form of alcohol. Seeing how it's keeping our students from over indulging on the booze, I'd say that it worked better than I thought…"

"Ah Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, there you are…" Grinned Sarutobi as he, Fū, and Rōshi walked towards the group. "Quite a festival here, isn't it?"

"Hokage-sama!" Kurenai bowed. "I didn't expect for you to be here… as well as…" She glanced over to the two new guests.

"Bah. I'm not a big fan of the large festivals myself." Rōshi grinned. "Too many people glaring at me… too many of them cops…"

"There were several incidents where he over indulged himself and somehow lost control of the location of his clothes in public." The Third Hokage sighed, rubbing the sides of his forehead.

"Pants can be a very tricky thing to outmaneuver given the right conditions…" Sniggered the red headed old man.

"I simply don't like crowded places, but the geezer wanted to show me something festive while in Konoha, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and came along." Fū shrugged.

Asuma laughed. "You really don't care how people address you, do you?"

"I'm retired and old, damn it. Unless the village is burning down, I'm not obligated to do anything." The old man grinned happily, causing Kurenai to gape in shock.

"Saru loves being retired a bit too much." Laughed Rōshi as he went to the bar. "Don't mind me, kids! I was just invited by your ex- Hokage there! He and I shared a few drinks back in the day… also a few exploding kunai here and there, but honestly, who didn't try to kill each other back then! Hahahaha!"

"He's certainly in a festive mood…" Kakashi deadpanned as the jinchūriki sampled some of the alcohol there and began to lecture a very confused Tenten, Gai, Haku, Ino, Chōji, and Shino about the various drinks there and how to mix them to get better ones.

"Hokage-sama… are you sure it is okay to bring these two to such a private event? In a clan compound no less?"

"If you must know, Kurenai, I invited them myself, and the Ōgakari said it was okay for them to come in so long as there was no extensive damage to the property." The Professor sighed. "They informed me that anything important was already hidden, protected, and isolated from the rest of the home before preparations even began, so there is nothing to worry about." He began to walk up the stairs. "Now if you will excuse me, Waltz has been generous enough to hide a stash of rather rare and potent smoking tobacco for me to enjoy at this event…"

"I worry for that grandson of his…" Fū mused as the old man disappeared around a corner. "Smoking is shown to be pretty bad for the lungs…"

"Not if I'm around it's not…" Tsunade sighed. "Smoking is a pretty big problem for every male in the Sarutobi clan. I've made a good sum of money just from cleaning out all of their lungs…"

 _'So that's why Asuma's been able to last longer in bed so soon after Tsunade-sama came back…'_ Kurenai mused as she glared at her boyfriend, who in turn was trying his hardest not to fall into her trap. ' _And to think I believe he had actually gotten off his ass to work out more…'_

The truth was that the smoker's enhanced performance was a result of both, but even if he claimed that, Kurenai wouldn't have believed him, and he knew it.

"My god…" Kin gaped as she backed up from the kitchen. "How the hell can he eat so much?"

"Is she talking about that fat kid I saw earlier?" Fū mused as she tried looking at what Kin was scared of. "Wasn't he an Akimichi? Those guys are supposed to be able to pack away food like no one's business…"

"I'm right here…" Chōji deadpanned from the other side of the doorway. "Just as a future reference, we 'food packers' tend to wail on people who call us fat…"

"I'll keep that in mind…" Fū sighed before spotting the focus of everyone's attention. "Wow… that's… impressive and disturbing at the same time…"

In front of everyone, Naruto was on a ramen eating frenzy, downing bowl after bowl of the stuff as if his life depended on it.

"Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Kiba chanted while laughing his ass off.

"To ensure that the clan's honor is not tarnished… I will make sure to never bring up this moment in conversation ever again…" Neji stated to himself while twitching rampantly.

"So long as the Ōgakari cover for this, I have no problems with this setup!" Teuchi happily claimed as he barely managed to fill the bowls in time for Naruto.

"I wish I could say this is the most nauseating thing I've ever seen…" Tsunade grunted. "But unfortunately, I'm a medic…"

"And I use the organs of giant toads as shields of defense and potential weapons." Jiraiya sighed. "Still, this is a solid second in my book…"

 _'Amazing…'_ Sai mused. ' _He's already eaten 26 bowls and yet he hasn't slowed down. Even if he apparently isn't able to be poisoned by anything, this information may prove to be useful to Danzō-sama…'_

"Do you think we should stop him?" Kurenai asked worriedly. "At this rate he might end up hurting himself…"

"I think Hinata's got that covered." Kakashi mused. "She's the only one other than Ghost that can completely control him…"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata spoke up from the side. "If you keep on eating ramen, you won't have enough room for the food I made…"

Said gorger of food paused with his cheeks bloated and stared at Hinata with puppy dog eyes while whining. The absurd sight caused everyone to sweatdrop.

"We can always have Teuchi-san keep some ramen in storage for you for later." The girl replied as if she could read his mind.

The blonde downed his mouthful of broth and pouted. "Fine… but can I at least open my presents first so I can make room for more of your food?" His eyes became sparkly again.

"Already?" The girl asked nervously as she looked around at everyone. "Is that okay?"

"Go nuts…" Kakashi lazily waved his hand.

"It's his birthday." Sarutobi shrugged with a smoking pipe in his mouth.

"Pleaaase?" Naruto asked with his ears and tail out.

Hinata couldn't respond as she had already assimilated herself to his tail before she even knew it was out. "Tail… fuzzy… soft…" She swooned, causing everyone to look at her nervously.

"Just a fair warning, guys…" Naruto started. "It is very dangerous to your health to approach her when she's like this."

o. o. o.

With Shadow:

Shadow stood laughing maniacally over the severely beaten bodies of her charges before pausing and looking up at the ceiling. "A fuzzy moment has passed and I was not there to claim it. This displeases me…" A moment later she shifted her body to dodge a bone spike that Kimimaro had launched at the woman from a distance. Moments later, the body she had been standing on transformed into a chunk of dirt. "Why, thank you Kimimaro!" The woman smiled sweetly. "I needed someone to serve as my target to vent my fuzzy-less aggression on…"

"Oi…" Sakon whispered as the fight picked up again. "Should we… you know… help?"

"Suffer my FUZZIELESS PAIN, NON BELIEVER!" Shadow roared as something they couldn't see blew up near her.

"That's a big fuck no here…" Tayuya grunted.

"Ditto." Jirōbō added.

The remains of Orochimaru's guard continued to play possum as they watched the bone wielder get the shit kicked out of his stoic ass… and prayed that Shadow didn't notice they were still slightly more than barely alive…

Unfortunately for them… they found out that their prayers were left unanswered several minutes later…

o. o. o.

Back to the party again:

"It's almost scary that she's turned into a swooning little girl like that…" Fū commented as the group walked outside, noting that Naruto had to hold up the girl with his arms in order to follow them or else risk dragging Hinata on the ground and possibly dislocating his tail. "Why are we here again instead of opening presents?"

"Ghost-san said that we should look at the sky above the village around 10 tonight for a surprise." Haku replied. "It's just about time, so…"

"Hey, what's that?" Ino asked as she pointed to a bright light rising from the village at a fast rate.

"Quiet!" Kiba shouted and cupped his ears. "Can you guys hear that?"

Within moments, the rest of the group shut up and listened carefully. Soon enough, they could hear a familiar gleeful cry of insanity from the direction of the rising light. "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

"You have got to be kidding me…" Sasuke deadpanned.

"Of all the illogical things to do…" Shino shivered in disbelief.

"Yeah… that's Crypt all right…" Kakashi sighed as he lifted his forehead protector to see more clearly.

"The hell is he…?" Naruto began to ask as the rocket reached an impressive height above the village before he/it exploded in a bright flash that momentarily blinded everyone.

As their eyesight cleared, they saw that the sky was littered with red lights organized in a way that clearly spelled out a message that had everyone grinning for various reasons. _Happy Birthday Minion Number Q!_

"They don't do anything subtly, do they?" Asuma chuckled as he patted Naruto on the head.

"For once, I'm glad they didn't." The blonde replied happily.

"Well, this party's been fun and all, but I have to get to the office soon to take care of all the annoying damages that will eventually be done tonight." Tsunade sighed as she walked up in front of the group. "So before I go, I might as well get my gift out of the way first." She crossed her arms under her chest and smirked. "Naruto! Hinata! Neji! Lee! Kin! Ino! Kiba! Sai! I have an important mission for the 8 of you!"

Almost instantly all 8 of them stood straight up and in front of the strong willed woman standing at attention. "Yes, Hokage-sama!" They replied at once.

The woman took out a scroll and tossed it at Naruto. "It is an A-ranked mission to protect the Prince of Moon Country as he makes the final stretch of his travels to other countries before coming back home. Once there, you will stay for a duration of 2 weeks to assess the island that serves as its capital and begin establishing relationships between our two countries. Expenses while there other than food and board will be taken out of your pay, but otherwise you can do as you wish so long as it doesn't reflect poorly on Konoha." She paused for dramatic effect. "Naruto Uzumaki will serve as the overall team leader, and Hinata Hyūga will serve as second in command." The busty woman smirked as she saw everyone gape at the turn of events. "Normally I would send a squad of jōnin for this, but I think that a good portion of your group will do just as well. You're lucky. Moon country's capital is on an island that is said to have perfect weather all year long and great casinos. I really want to go there on vacation…" She shook her head. "Regardless, this is a big mission, so DON'T SCREW THIS UP BRAT!" The aged woman roared before calming down. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do some work. Happy birthday, Naruto. You deserved it…"

Naruto stood in place as he held the mission scroll in his hand. He knew that the mission to the Land of Moon wasn't going to go smoothly, but with two full squads behind him, he was fairly certain that they would be able to pull through…

Unfortunately, even Naruto couldn't predict the proverbial shit storm that would cross paths with his group during this mission… but for now, he would continue to enjoy his birthday…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Sorry it took so long to finish this guys, but once again, I have trouble making the sappy parts and they hold me up.

So just a fair warning, I'm going to be extremely busy with class work in the upcoming months, so expect the next few chapters to be slowed down a bit for a while. I'm going to San Francisco to work on a massive project that I need to do in order to get my bachelors, and I'm starting to freak out. What saddens me is that I'm working on data from the Aurora Borealis and yet I seem to be unable to convert that into a decent pickup line for women I don't know! Curse my over analytical mind!

So chapters. My guess on Naruto's new technique? Rasengan + Kamehameha. Cool, but definitely not necessary considering he still has no decent base techniques to use. Seeing what the 7 swordsmen look like is cool, but getting the swords would be better. Kabuto is insane, Madara is evil, and Edo-Tensei is pretty much officially broken. What else is new.

I gotta prepare for this blizzard that just hit my area, so I'll cut my ranting here.

Review! Worship the Log! Never try to take off a mall Santa's beard, they're wearing them for a reason! And Review again!


	59. I wonder if anyone has realized that these chapter titles have absolutely nothing to do with the story yet…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 59: I wonder if anyone has realized that these chapter titles have absolutely nothing to do with the story yet…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Compound:

Naruto became semiconscious in a daze. His body was in an awkward position: face down, half of it was asleep, he was fairly certain his shirt was missing, his nose was on fire due to something smelling horrible in the air, there was groaning around him, and something had a death grip on his ass bone and was lying on top of him, preventing him from getting up. Oh yeah, and he had a fairly large headache.

"Uuugh…" The blonde moaned as he tried to free his arms so he could clear his eyes and see where the hell he was. "What the fuck hit me? I feel like I just trained and popped a thousand clones at once…"

"You downed nearly a gallon of Gamabunta's secret stash and you only feel that much backlash?" Jiraiya grunted as he sat down on the couch nearest to the blonde. "I'm starting to hate your healing factor even more than I already did, brat…"

"Bunta's secret stash?" Naruto moaned as his memories came back to him. "The hell would I try to down that? You said it yourself. One cup of that stuff and you're on the verge of doing fire style techniques for a week!" He smacked his tongue around a bit. "Oh god, I can still feel and taste my mouth and throat on fire…"

"Well, apparently you were enjoying your little party so much that you didn't think twice about it when your friends dared you to have some after it was brought up in conversation." The Toad Sage grunted as he pressed an ice pack to his head. "Mind you, I had some myself and look what condition I'm in now…" He put on a semi-lecherous grin. "Although I think that you managed to come out with more out of the two of us last night…"

"Naruto-kun… fuzzy… soft… mine…" Mumbled a familiar voice from on top of the protagonist.

"Ah…" Naruto deadpanned. "She's been attached to my tail the entire night, hasn't she?"

"And you've been carrying her the whole time…" Jiraiya chuckled. "Reminds me of another party Tsunade and I went to where some idiot slipped some kind of drug in the already spiked punch…"

"You finish that story and I'm going straight to the old hag to tell on you." The jinchūriki deadpanned, assuming correctly that it was another tale that the woman had forbidden the sage from telling anyone.

"Yeah, yeah…" Grunted Jiraiya as he looked around at the various guests that were asleep all over the living room. The entire night had been one thing after another. Everyone in the building, including the visiting jinchūriki had at one point or another tried out the karaoke machine, and various new facts were discovered. One of the most surprising was that Shino had a magnificent tenor singing voice and sure as hell knew how to use it.

By the time everyone finally realized that they weren't in some kind of elaborate genjutsu and were actually drunk off their asses, it was well past 3 in the morning, and the combined exhaustion of the party and the alcohol finally managed to hit home and knock pretty much everyone out except for Teuchi Ichiraku, who claimed to be the only adult there. Most of the more experienced people there had enough control over themselves to climb up the stairs and pass out in the guest rooms, except for Rōshi who was found it more comfortable on the living room table. Thankfully, the alcohol around him drowned out his rather strong morning body odor.

"At least nothing valuable was broken…" The blonde moaned as his senses continued to clear up. "Oi Shino. I know you're up. Anything important happen during the party that we might be worried about? Damages? Broken bones? Potential blackmail opportunities?"

The Aburame, who until then had been pretending to be asleep on a nearby couch grunted and shifted to his side. "Other than Ino's possession of Kiba and some of the guests throwing up in various places in the building, I witnessed nothing worth noting. Now if you will excuse me, I must focus on my insects' task of breaking down the last of the alcohol in my system. Please make sure to keep your voice down…"

"Will do buddy…" Naruto replied as his friend shifted over into a more comfortable position. "On another note, we have to get you to sing again. You were insane, dude…"

"… I will consider it…" Shino droned before his body relaxed again, indicating that he was trying to sleep.

"Aburame… not ones for small talk, I'll give you that much…" Jiraiya snorted as he watched Haku, Kakashi, Neji, and Gai drinking coffee and talking in the kitchen. "Still, for a party hosted and made by brats, it turned out to be pretty fun…"

"It makes one wonder how bad the parties you went to outside the village were." Snorted Naruto.

"Some were all right…" The Sannin shrugged. "But then again, not many were located in the home of an insane and morally bankrupt clan…"

"True, true…" Naruto admitted as he glanced at the pile of gifts that he had opened the night before. "Man… I don't know what other people get for their birthday… but I'm fairly certain that I made out like a bandit."

Jiraiya laughed. "That's an understatement. You got a formal yukata from Shino made from Aburame silk, which is more than its weight in gold; a VIP card from Chōji that allows you into the upscale section of any restaurant owned by the Akimichi clan, which I might add is extremely difficult for almost anyone to get their hands on; a necklace made from the teeth and claws of past Inuzuka hounds, which as well as a moderately decent fashion statement also indicates that you are a strong ally of their clan…" The Sannin was listing off the items off of his fingers. "… That girl Ino set up this party in the first place for you, so that right there was her gift, but she went ahead and got you a bonsai tree since you do apparently like gardening to some extent. The Hyūga… well, other than the fact that the girl made you her personal plushy, they're already teaching you some of their clan arts, so we can just leave it there. Kakashi got you some scrolls on advanced shinobi tactics that you'd find interesting, Kurenai got you that 'Genjutsu for dummies that have too much chakra' book… which I have a suspicion she co-authored; Asuma got you a scroll that has some basic wind ninjutsu…" Jiraiya groaned. "You do realize that there is no way that people would normally give someone your age so many ninjutsu scrolls, right?"

"You do realize that most teachers don't throw their students off of cliffs, right?" Naruto shot back with a tired look. "Get back to the inventory count, slave…"

"Smart assed little shit…" The sage grunted. "You make it sound like I was the only one that did that to you…"

"You weren't, but you were the only one that didn't tell me the basics of how to save my own life before throwing me over the edge." The blonde countered.

"Fine…" The white haired man sighed. "I got you cash since there isn't really much else I could come up with getting you that I wasn't going to teach you already… or get me killed by the girls here, at least. Tsunade got you that mission… lucky little brat… Sensei got you a bunch of coupons for Ichiraku's, that girl Tenten got you a set of those sealed kunai and shuriken that have been flying around lately, and she also promised you a pair of chakra conducting kunai to replace those bracers of yours temporarily. That Sai kid painted you that interesting picture of the village, and your teammate Sasuke got you some ninjutsu scrolls on some useful low ranked rapid fire, wind, and earth techniques. He mentioned something about them being the wind and earth versions of his Phoenix Flower technique. Gai and Lee got you some taijutsu books and one set of their spandex suits… which I took the honor of burning while no one was paying attention… and oh yeah… the Ōgakari blew up Crypt roughly 1000 feet in the air and reminded the village that it was your birthday. All in all, it wasn't a bad haul if I do say so myself…"

"That reminds me, did any of them come back last night?" Naruto asked curiously as he attempted to gain more freedom from underneath Hinata's cruel and inhumane totalitarian control.

Jiraiya shook his head. "Nope. I have no idea where they are right now…"

o. o. o.

Anko's Apartment:

Ghost grinned as he woke up and found Hana and Anko cuddling him from either side of his body, both dressed in very erotic clothing... if such garb could even be called clothing, really. "… It may have been the brat's birthday… but I still got me the best present of all. Heheheh…"

o. o. o.

At a nearby hotel:

Waltz yawned and picked himself up from the bed. Stretching his massive body and cracking various joints, the giant sighed as he grabbed his staff and walked to the bathroom. "Morning, Crypt…"

Crypt responded by falling out of the rafters on the ceiling and landing flat on his back, then rolling on the ground in a random pattern and groaning continuously.

Let it be known that absolutely none of the Ōgakari are morning people.

o. o. o.

Back at the party:

"Ah, at least things are easier to clean up." Naruto sighed as he looked around more and spotted Ino asleep on top of Chōji with her arms wrapped around him on the third and last couch in the room. "When did that happen?"

"Those two? Right before you decided carrying around your girl was too much trouble and finally stopped on the couch and fell asleep." Jiraiya mused. "The girl mentioned something about loving the fact that the Akimichi was so big so that there was more of him to love, but if he ever let himself go, she would kick his ass until he got back into shape again."

Naruto sniggered at the proclamation as he saw Ino shift around a small amount and sigh in contentment. Apparently the Akimichi clan males made great boyfriends to sleep on.

"So when are you going to de-fuse yourself from the princess there?" The perverted sage asked curiously as he watched Naruto wiggle himself some more.

"This is harder than it looks, okay?" Grunted the blonde. "If I just get rid of the tail now, she'll just latch herself to me, and I don't want to wake her up… she looks relaxed for the first time in days okay?" The blonde blushed slightly as he moved some more, causing Hinata to tighten her grip.

"Mmm… nooo…" She mumbled in her sleep. "My Naruto-kuuun…"

"Still not used to the tail, eh?" Jiraiya chuckled as the jinchūriki paled and held back a scream of pain.

Naruto responded by letting his body fall limp on the couch. "… At least I'm completely awake now…" His muffled voice mused from the cushions.

"Ah, so you are awake, Naruto-san…" Sai mused as he walked from the kitchen with a glass of water. "Good. I was wondering if we could start talking about our mission this morning…"

Jiraiya glanced at the boy before sighing and got up to go to the kitchen. "I'll leave you two to your planning. I have a hangover drought to make…"

"Remember to make some for everyone else here, Ero-Sennin…" Naruto grunted before turning to the pale boy. "Sai, I would argue that we don't have to do that now since the mission isn't for another 2 weeks, but since I'm obviously not going anywhere, I might as well get something done…" Hinata snuggled into his tail as the blonde combined what he remembered from the last time he did the mission with the scroll in his hands. Tsunade mentioned last time that several teams had quit before his because of the unreasonable conditions they encountered, but from what he'd read, his group was the 'first' assigned, meaning that they would probably be on the road for months instead of weeks like last time. "Since it's Hinata and I leading your and Neji's teams, I was thinking we should just keep the standard teams together to keep things easy. Hinata-chan gets Neji's team and I get yours so that there's a medic on each one, plus our respective personalities match your team's dynamics pretty well as well…" He shifted around a small amount in order to get the mission scroll that was still in one of his pants pockets and opened it. "According to the mission statement, the Prince hasn't exactly been careful about his spending, so even though we're technically split up into teams, we'll probably be spread out more to ensure that none of the caravan is hit without our knowing while we're escorting it. We'll have a fairly easy time doing so though, since Kiba, Hinata, Neji and I are sensor types, so it will be an utter pain for almost anyone to catch us all completely off guard, plus with my shadow clones and your ink constructs, we can defend a wide area by ourselves…"

Sai nodded, seeing the logic behind Naruto's reasoning before turning to Rōshi. "Naruto-san… is it really wise to be saying that much while a foreign shinobi is so close to us…"

"If the old man trusts him to be here, than he's fine by me…" Naruto replied as he skimmed the scroll again. "Plus I can tell he's still completely out of it with my Seventh Sense… just like I can tell that Kiba still isn't awake and realized that he's ducktaped to the ceiling…" He grunted as he shifted himself to get more comfortable while Sai looked up to see the Inuzuka indeed plastered to the top of the room and somehow still asleep. Akamaru, on the other hand, was sleeping comfortably on one of the chairs in the living room nearby. "Don't ask, I don't know either. Back to the mission, though… I'll probably stick with the Prince at the head of the caravan in case there's any new information or orders that need to be taken into account. Odds are likely that while there might be some shinobi encounters, the bulk of the attacks on us will be by the standard bandits hoping to get lucky due to the sheer size of the caravan, so we'll spread out in pairs accordingly to keep efficiency high. Neji will be in the back, paired up with Kin for a close and mid-range rear support along with detection. Hinata-chan and Lee next for a strong close ranged mid-rear defense, which is often targeted in larger caravans to separate the rear from the rest. Ino, you, and Kiba will take up the middle front because you three are training at working together and are already good at covering up your weak spots…" He paused and glanced at the boy. "In addition to that, you are tasked with keeping the other two in line, Sai, since you are the most level headed of the three. You don't have to take all the orders Hinata-chan and I give you to the letter most of the time, but at least keep them from doing anything stupid. That's my job and I'm far more experienced at it than they are."

Sai blinked in confusion before fake smiling and nodding. "I am not sure what you mean by that last part, Naruto-san, but I will do as you say…"

Naruto grinned briefly at Sai. "Just like you put on that fake smile to throw people off, I put on a mask of insanity to confuse others." Sai blinked in momentarily disbelief as he looked at Naruto in confusion. "The only difference is that pretending to be crazy is fun because you don't have to hold back what you say most of the time… and it lets you see things in a different way, which helps on missions. After a while, it just sticks and becomes a part of your personality in general." He paused before looking at the ROOT spy skeptically. "I would advise against you doing it though, Sai. Trust me, it just wouldn't work for you. If you tried you'd either get us fired from the mission or end up pissing off the wrong person and end up getting murdered in the process. The do's and don'ts of acting of this way are actually pretty complicated when you try to analyze it."

"I… will keep that in mind…" The pale boy replied, already making a mental note to at least try the tactic once in the future. "Does that mean that Crypt-sama is faking his insanity too?"

The blonde snorted and looked at Sai from the scroll. "Hell no. Trust me. That guy is 100% genuine insane. There are points where he's aware of everything around him, but you gotta be careful, 'cause he gets a bit slash happy then. There's a reason why he's almost always with old man Waltz…" He shook his head. "Back to the mission, though… yeah, so with everyone stationed where they are, I'll be at the front where the Prince and his son are located in their private carriage. I'll be sending clones every 20-30 minutes to everyone in order to relay messages and gain info from everyone while providing the front guard. The way everyone's set up, the medics can get to every section within a fair amount of time and there's a sensor covering most if not all of the surrounding area around the caravan. Every group is in pairs at least so that they can cover each side of the caravan adequately, and with my reserves and clones, I can hold up the front long enough to either overwhelm weaker forces or hold off stronger one's for you guys to come and back me up."

He scanned the client history section of the scroll again. He learned from all his teachers that a good way to find out how dangerous a mission was is to look at the history of their employer and see if there were any recent incidents that needed to be taken into account. The only reason why Wave went to hell so quickly was because no one had heard jack from the country in several years and Tazuna had been rather discrete about it in the paperwork. "According to the background check, the country of Moon doesn't really have many enemies though a lot of people are jealous about the income they make. There haven't been any reports of major incidents in the country either, so unless someone feels rather gutsy the danger level of the mission itself shouldn't go higher than a B-ranked. Of course you should prepare for an A-ranked, but that's just what I'm pointing out." He sighed. "You have any questions with the way things are set up so far? Questions? Complaints?"

Sai pondered Naruto's setup and analysis of the mission. So far, the blonde had done a rather admirable job of organizing and analyzing the various aspects of the mission. "If I may… why do you only have Neji and Kin set up at the rear and my team set up near the front? Would it not be more logical to put 3 of us in the back and groups of 2 in the middle?"

Naruto shook his head. "No. Neji is for all intents and purposes the 3rd in command in our group because he's not only strong but also has a very good head on his shoulders and can think through things logically. Plus, his sensory abilities are better than Kiba's, and Hinata-chan and I need to be in our respective positions in order to be most effective. Your team is good, but from what I've seen, Neji alone is almost enough to take down all 3 of you without backup. If we are hit by a major shinobi attack, this formation is the most likely to handle the most offence on any front long enough to get backup from the rest. Lee is fast enough to reach your group or Neji's to make a difference, your group is large enough to spare a man to me or Hinata's if needed, and I can flood the entire area with clones if needed to help everyone. Our radios are better than most of the other village's, so in the case that we are up against one of their ninja, we can let the others know pretty quickly. If all else fails, we can also use my clones as a form of communication…"

"Understandable. I apologize for questioning you." Sai said with a fake smile.

"Don't. I asked you to." Naruto shook his head, surprising the pale boy. "No one is ever prepared for everything. Anyone who claims they are is a bigger idiot than Crypt. The more questions you ask, the more scenarios I can cross off in my head and the more set up we'll be. The only questions that I don't want asked are the ones that ask if we should save our comrade's lives or not should they be in danger. The answer to it should be obvious and shouldn't be questioned in the first place."

The pair were quiet for several more seconds before Sai spoke up again. "You are surprisingly serious today…"

"I'm just waiting for this damn hangover to go away, Sai." Grunted the blonde. "Being crazy means more blood throbbing through my skull. Give me an hour or two and I'll be back to normal…" He paused and looked at the pale boy curiously. "Come to think of it… why the hell aren't you in agonizing pain like the rest of us?"

Sai cocked his head to the side. "Isn't it obvious, Naruto-san? I didn't drink any of the alcoholic beverages. I was trained to avoid drinking them whenever possible since they decrease my overall abilities if I am caught while intoxicated…"

Naruto deadpanned at the pale boy. "… I don't know how, but you have made it so that my hatred of you is only surpassed by my hatred of myself at the moment… and I must say that I hate you very, very much right now. Well played, my cunning foe… well played indeed…"

o. o. o.

Iwa:

Ōnoki sighed contently as he rested back in his chair and read his secret copy of Icha-Icha while his shadow clones did his paperwork. Despite his rage against Sarutobi for figuring out the answer to the nightmare of his life, he grudgingly admitted to himself that he was in that man's debt big time for telling him about the shadow clone trick. Of course, he knew to dispel and replace the clones every hour or so in order to prevent too much of a mental backlash, but it was still far more preferable than doing the task himself. The clones had enabled him to finally have some time to himself without going through the paperwork to free himself up in the first place.

Shaking his head at the horrific concept, Ōnoki sighed and closed the orange booklet and looked around his office tiredly. Now that he could actually have some time to himself other than get a quick jolly from the grace Jiraiya gave him, the old man wondered what else he could do in his office. He could go over some controversial missions that had gone sour for unexplained reasons that he had shelved for a later date, but many of them were so old that it was pointless to go over them now, and the rest simply involved doing more paperwork. He could try to form more diplomatic ties with other countries, see what has been going on in the world other than wars for once… but normally, those deals took so damn long to get over with that at this point, he would probably die or get out of office before anything was passed since Iwa's stiff and stern reputation tended to make other nations skeptical as hell of any deal they made… for good reason. Sighing to himself, Ōnoki made a mental note to be somewhat more lenient the next time he talked to the diplomats of other countries… somewhat.

Pausing for a moment, Ōnoki blinked before instinctively knowing exactly what he wanted to do and reached inside a secret compartment of his desk to take out a picture of an Iwa shinobi that somewhat resembled a more heavy version of Asuma Sarutobi, only with a distinctively large nose that many would claim was only surpassed by Ōnoki's and somewhat longer hair. He was a shinobi that had died during the previous war against Konoha… his illegitimate secret child, Kitsuchi.

Ōnoki sighed to himself as the memories Kitsuchi's birth had made his life a living hell and blessing at the same time. Even though the relationship of the two had never become public knowledge because Ōnoki knew that the boy turned man would be targeted due to his lineage, the father-son combo had none the less been close, if a bit strained at the end.

…Actually, to be blunt they had been at each other's throats the last time they'd talked before the son had disregarded his father's orders and ran off to the front lines to support his kinsmen… and was killed in the process by the Yellow Flash along with his grandson, who he had only seen a handful of times at the most. Yellow Earth killed off by the Yellow Flash… the odd similarity in their names had more than once caused the old man to snort regretfully…

"I was going to announce to everyone that you were mine… legitimate or not…" Ōnoki grunted out loud, remembering that the mother of the war hero was some nameless chūnin that had a one night stand with the Tsuchikage and had unfortunately been killed in a skirmish with some Kusa shinobi early into his son's childhood. The boy had been placed into an orphanage, but was soon 'adopted'… more like apprenticed under one of Ōnoki's trusted underlings a few days later and trained since then. The boy had turned into one of Iwa's most potential young shinobi, gaining the rank of jōnin by the time he was 16 and was known as one of the village's most dangerous warriors. He had a beautiful wife that had prompted Ōnoki to pat him on the back on more than one occasion and had started a family when the Third War started. Like his mother, Kitsuchi's wife had died in combat early on against some Suna shinobi, leaving his kids motherless…

Ōnoki blinked several times. Wait… kids? He remembered Akatsuchi. A big and dopey kid with an interesting stone golem technique, but also had a personality that just prevented people from staying mad at him. He had inherited the family nose, that was for sure… but the younger sibling… was some girl with a fiery temper, her name escaped him completely. "Ugh… damn… I screwed things up this time…" Ōnoki of the Twin Scales grunted to himself as he collapsed into his chair. The combined trauma and pressure of losing his prized secret son, his grandson, over 200 other men, the war, Rōshi ditching the village, and the fight between the two right before the younger's death must have caused him to forget about the fact that he had a granddaughter! After the war, he had done what many other people hurt by the war had done and drowned himself in work to forget all the shit he had been through.

Looking at the rack in his office that held scrolls that listed information on deceased high ranking shinobi, the Tsuchikage sighed to himself and used his dust release technique to float over to the shelf. "Oh well… might as well try to make things up now that I actually remember and have time to myself… hopefully the brat will give me a big and flashy death that'll at least give a decent ending to my story as a ruler… there…" He took out a scroll and floated back to his desk, dispelling his clones in the process and unraveled the paper in front of him.

"Let's see how much you deserved to be my son…" The old man said in a very tired tone. "Graduated the academy with honors by the age of 10… was promoted to chūnin within a year. Jōnin by 16. Praised by all superiors for superb mission conduct and decision making skills… followed by subordinate appraisals. Had one genin team that had his son in it… all 3 of them were promoted within a year of getting them. Multiple awards and honors for his successes in the Second Shinobi War which lead to his early jōnin promotion. Received the Diamond Medal of Honor after dying in battle against Konoha's Yellow Flash…"

The old man sighed. He really couldn't hate Namikaze. War was war. Even if one side was butchered by the other, it was going to happen at one point or another. You rarely had a choice on who actually died when it happened unless you knew it was going to happen in the first place. True, there was some resentment for the man for what he did… understandable, really. There were even some long rants and attempted plans to kill the man after he became the Fourth Hokage… but that all disappeared when word had come that the bane of Iwa had died getting rid of the Kyūbi and Konoha was left a wreck. Ōnoki had spent the night laughing and crying himself hysterically until he fell asleep. He had realized how stupid he had been after some self-reflection and become a sarcastic and bitter old man… but he had sworn to himself to stop being irrational. He had no real outlet for his pent up frustration after Minato died… and he realized that his choice in targets had been childish in the first place. The man had died a hero, even Ōnoki would admit that.

…So Iwa progressed without causing any major problems with anyone other than a few conflicting missions. Ninja died, ninja killed. Peace had taken priority in the minds of most of the nations… though the Raikage was still stupid enough to attempt to maintain his irrational number of forces. All in all… things had been going well all things considered for the end of Ōnoki's life… until Orochimaru attacked Konoha. Something about it simply rubbed the old man the wrong way… or maybe his hip was aching and telling him that another storm was coming soon…

Shaking his head, the old man sighed and turned to the relative section of the biography. "Parents: Father Unknown… heh, I probably should fix that… Mother, Byakutsuchi. Married to Aotsuchi, who died in the early Third War, but not before giving birth to two kids. His eldest son was Akatsuchi, who died along with him by the Yellow Flash, and his youngest daughter who was still in the academy…" The Tsuchikage's eyes widened in disbelief, already running through the various bad scenarios that could come from this information coming out. "Kurotsuchi… shit…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Ero-Sennin… I swear you should forget writing books and just sell that hangover drought to the masses in bulk. You'd easily make more than you're making now… and how you make that much with those stupid perverted books in the first place is beyond me…" Naruto sighed as he walked back to his apartment alongside Jiraiya and a bunch of clones who were carrying his various presents with him.

"Really? I was thinking about signing over the rights to the recipe to you for your 17th birthday…" The sage said aridly. "Lord knows you need the money…"

Sasuke, who decided to follow the pair and help out rolled his eyes. "Please. The dobe single handedly has the monopoly on any and all D-ranked missions in the village because of his clones. The old Hokage made the mistake of seeing how many of those missions he could cover in a week due to a small surplus of them, and by the end of it, he had ended up earning the equivalent of an S-ranked mission pay and we were banned from doing any more D-ranks for a month so that other genin teams could have enough missions to earn a steady paycheck."

"I spent the money on ramen, clothes, weapons, and buying off several of our friends to look away while I did things to their homes…" Grinned the jinchūriki evilly. "Best. Million. Spent. Ever."

"I still don't know how you managed to slip all those laxatives in the Akimichi's entire food supply…" The Uchiha shook his head disbelievingly. "And I don't want to…" He added before the blonde could say anything.

"Killjoy…" Pouted Naruto.

"I heard that the plumbing of that area of the village went nuts for a week…" Jiraiya snorted, noting the odd looks the villagers were giving the group. "Speaking of clans though, what happened to that Hyūga girl that was fused to your tail this morning?"

Naruto stretched his neck. "Neji shut down enough chakra pathways in her arms to pry her off of me about an hour ago and then brought her home. They still need to go through several family therapy sessions and other things due to the prison break incident. It's actually because of that that my mission is starting in a couple of weeks instead of now … though it does give me time to train a bit with her family to learn the basics of what they're teaching me. I'll get to all my other presents eventually as well, but I really want to finish this one exercise that Ero-nii gave me that I haven't gotten down right yet…"

"Take your time, dobe… I'm in no rush to see you learn more feats of untamed destruction… quite the opposite really…" Deadpanned the Uchiha.

"Hey, I only put that high level tag in the castle. YOU were the one that set off the whole thing, Mr. Castle Crasher…" Grinned the Uzumaki.

"Didn't you give him two more techniques that are meant to do just that last night?" Jiraiya deadpanned as he watched the argument escalate.

"Only because YOU gave me the button at the last moment, you idiot…" Countered Sasuke before calming down again. "God. Where's Sakura when you need her?"

"Still on that solo mission that the old hag sent her on a couple of weeks ago." Naruto shrugged. "She'll be back in another week if what Granny told me is right. I still have no clue what her mission is."

"Let's at least hope that it was one that wiped her out." Sighed the Uchiha as they approached Naruto's apartment. "She's gonna be pissed that she missed the party."

"Bah. We'll make it up with the next one." Naruto sighed as he climbed the stairs before pausing and smacking his head. "This was an awesome birthday, but now I completely forgot that I have to help take down the stands I helped set up and do reports on THOSE now… man, this sucks…" Without making any seals, the blonde created almost a hundred clones on the top of the building without trying. "Go to work guys! Remember what you did this time! I'll get back to you soon!"

"I forgot you can make clones anywhere your Seventh Sense covers naturally…" Jiraiya mused. "That's useful…"

"Yeah, but it's still a bit of a pain to do naturally. It doesn't take up any more chakra than a normal clone, but harder to focus them that way." Naruto sighed. "Plus I found out last night that the Seventh Sense is also affected by how drunk I am… cause I never found out whoever it was that taped Kiba to the ceiling…" He sniffed. "I wanted to give him a pat on the back…"

Jiraiya snorted at that comment, remembering that less than an hour earlier, the tape's ability to keep the boy up had finally given out and resulted in the Inuzuka headbutting the still clearly unconscious Rōshi and waking both up to an incredible world of pain.

That incident had been recognized as one of the major highlights of the party.

"It's best if you go straight to work after dumping your stuff here." Jiraiya nodded, taking secret pleasure in the boy's misery. "You had a great birthday for once. It's done. You had your fun, and now it's time to get back to work, just like everyone else. It's not like your moaning is going to land you any more presents before you…" The sage paused as they turned the corner of the stairs to see the front of Naruto's apartment… and the dozen or so packages laying in front of it, pastry and boxes both.

The one thing they all had in common were the small cards that came with them that all said pretty much the same thing. "Sorry."

Sasuke sighed and glanced at the dumbstruck sage. "That mouth of yours really is a mysterious thing, Jiraiya. I would suggest that you not talk anymore… but so far, it's all been in the dobe's favor… and I like him more than you…"

"This really is the best birthday ever…" The blonde whispered to himself, ignoring the two behind him…

o. o. o.

Suna:

Kankurō sighed as he began to put his tools away. It had been another long day of training with Chiyo-baa-sama, and despite learning a lot and earning his second puppet, he could confidently say that the old bat was driving him more insane than his siblings were. When she wasn't pretending to be dead or throwing stuff at his head, she was berating him for everything he had done wrong with constructing his new tools. It had only been a week since he had started to learn how to make chakra shields, an incredibly useful tool owned by Suna, but also equally hard to make and understand, yet the woman expected him to already understand the construction of them, which was simply impossible for someone his age and skill. Despite the shit he got, Kankurō was a very talented shinobi, but there were things that were simply not in his range of skill yet.

Puppeteering was a unique and rather difficult art for any shinobi to master, as it required the user to not only be proficient in standard shinobi arts and the intricate movements needed to use their puppets efficiently, but also have a high level of knowledge of mechanical engineering and material science. Depending on the traps the puppets would need, you could also require experience in hydraulics, biochemistry, chemistry, pyrotechnics, seal making, and other fields as well.

It is one of the more demanding types of shinobi professions currently employed in the field today, and only really suggested for those who have a mind wired more towards numbers and diagrams than others. In actuality, puppet masters were renowned for being among the more intelligent members of Suna's forces.

While most people assumed that the best way to judge a puppeteer's skill was to see how many they could control at once, there was another way to determine how good they were, and that was to know how much actual tinkering of the puppet was done by said puppeteer. The more common shinobi of this style simply had premade models with a few add-on's done by someone else, but the true professionals made everything, or at least their traps, from scratch. It was this second range of skills that made Sasori such a legend even after he disappeared. The man's puppet skills were nothing to scoff about, but his ingenious traps and puppets were what made him stand out so much.

Kankurō, while a bit young, childish, impatient, and blunt, was oddly enough the most intelligent of his siblings. While Temari was indeed the most analytical and Gaara was the most level headed, Kankurō was the one that came up with the best battle strategies when his head was on straight and he had enough time, and thus he could think farther ahead than the other two… if by only one or two steps at least.

This… was not one of those moments.

"Crazy old bat…" Grumbled the boy as he put the last of his tools away in his toolbox before sorting out his spare parts on the scroll he brought with him so he would know where each one was for a later time. The reason why he didn't use the scroll with his puppets was because he didn't have enough chakra to store something as large and complicated as them yet frequently without potentially breaking something. This unfortunately was another thing that Chiyo had berated him for.

"I'm working as fast as I freaking can and trying to figure out all this crap while doing all this shit with my chakra strings…" He muttered as his hand twitched, launching strings from his fingertips to one of the metal contraptions nearby. As soon as he was certain that the connections were solid, he twitched his hands again, making the device bounce onto its part on the scroll before sealing it a few moments later. "…Using strings to use the tools to tinker the puppets my ass…" He continued to mutter as he repeated the process again with another part. The process was repetitive and annoying to the boy. "She must be more senile than everyone else believes…"

"I'm old and crazy, Kankurō, not deaf…" Giggled said old insane woman from behind the boy, causing him to freeze in his movements. "I'm disappointed in you." She sighed as she walked around him and looked around. "I expected you to be done cleaning your materials by now by the way you were ranting…" With a flick of one wrist, the old woman attached chakra strings to several of the leftover parts and the scroll, all attaching themselves in a fraction of the time the boy had been managing. With another flick, the scroll unraveled itself some more and the pieces she had gained control of floated seamlessly into their according spots and instantly disappeared. "If you spent as much time practicing with your chakra strings as you did with your makeup, you could have probably have been at two pieces at a time by now… and to think these old bones would still be able to beat the youngsters of today…"

"I… but…" The boy stammered, unable to come up with an adequate response to Chiyo's demonstration, making the old woman snigger.

Before the two could continue this routine however, two new guests arrived. "Chiyo-baa-sama…" Droned the local jinchūriki. "I believe this is the time we have decided to meet…"

Kankurō turned surprised to see not only his brother, but Scabbard Ōgakari as well. "Gaara? What are you doing here? Why did you bring that Leaf nut to see the old bat?" Wham! Chiyo flicked her wrist again launching another spare part at the boy's head and nailing him hard. "Mother fff…"

"I'm not old." Chiyo pouted. "I've simply aged like fine wine… you should remember to respect your elders…" She glanced at Scabbard. "So you call yourselves Ōgakari now…"

"To let everyone know, I am one of the saner ones in my family." Scabbard droned as he glanced at Kankurō cradling the back of his head. "I trust that Gaara informed you why I desired this meeting."

The old woman shrugged. "I guess. My memory's been all over the place lately. Hahahaaha…" All the males present just looked at her skeptically. "Ah. Let me just finish cleaning this up so that we can talk privately…" The woman continued as she looked at the rest of Kankurō's parts and tools before flicking out both of her wrists and attaching chakra strings to nearly half of the materials there. Metal and wooden parts floated through the air gracefully into their respective parts on the further opened scroll before disappearing into the seal array, just before another part began to move. Kankurō, despite his hatred of the woman's teaching methods so far, had to admit that the act was very impressive and at least now understood why the hell the woman told him to use his strings earlier for more in his life than for just puppets. Within a minute, his scroll was rolled up and the floor around them was empty, a task that would have taken the boy at the least 10 minutes to do. Before anyone could say anything though, said scroll then flew through the air and socked the makeup wearing boy in the stomach. "Puppets are not the only thing that can be manipulated by our strings, Kankurō." Chiyo mused. "The sooner you realize this, the sooner you can tap into the true potential of what a puppeteer can do…" She then attached her strings to the boy himself and marched him out of the building against his will. "Now get out of here, you lazy brat!"

"Ah. Humiliating a student with skills that they may learn in the future… a classic." Scabbard mused as the screaming boy was out of range to hear them.

"So what does an old fart like you want with a young beauty like me?" Chiyo asked curiously. "Despite my single status, I'm off the market."

The immortal chuckled. "It's good to be talked to like that every once in a while… sorry to disappoint you, but you aren't my type." He sighed and sat down on a chair placed nearby. "Gaara has told you what I want…" He reached down and rolled up his right pants leg to reveal his artificial limb, much to the interest of the other two, and took it off. "I'm simply here to explain why and collect. This is, after all, the promised payment for Temari's new weapon…" A small smirk appeared on the man's face. "I've dabbled a bit in a form of puppetry before switching to a different method of replacing my leg, but I am a bit rusty…" The artificial limb, which looked just like a normal limb other than a slight discoloration, suddenly began to melt into a metallic liquid and melded with his skin. "Things would be annoying if people realized my prosthetic was more than what mankind could achieve right now. Teach me the basics of Suna's style of puppetry for a week. That is all I asked for, and all I need to get where I want to be…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Kin and Lee were quiet as they walked through the village, both trying not to look at each other while still being within arm's reach of the other.

"Lee?" Kin broke the silence after a good while.

"Yes?" Lee replied, surprisingly calm for once.

"Thanks for taking care of Kiba for me…" She blushed. "He's a nice guy, but we all saw that he had a bit too much to drink last night…"

"Of course… it would have been rude of me not to help you…" The taijutsu expert thanked her. "If you would… could you not tell everyone that I was the one that…"

"Only if you promise never to tell anyone that I actually tried on one of your spandex suits last night…" The girl blushed, clearly embarrassed.

"Done." Lee nodded before the two became quiet again. "… Though if I may be truthful, you were absolutely burning with the flames of youth when you…"

"Duct tape…" Kin growled.

"Sorry!" The bowl cut boy retreated.

Unknown to either genin, Gai was spying on them from a nearby alleyway and was silently crying a river of tears. "Go, Lee! You have found a great person to share your flames of youth with!" The man wept proudly. "I am so proud of you…"

"Mom! There's a weird ninja in a green spandex suit crying by the garbage! I'm scared to go near him!" Shouted a small boy from behind Gai, standing next t the side door of the building with a bag full of trash.

"Stop making up stories and do your chores already!" Roared the boy's mother from inside. "You're already outside! Another few feet is not going to kill you!"

o. o. o.

Hyūga Compound:

Naruto sighed as he stretched out his muscles and walked with Hiashi and Hinata to the training grounds of the compound. He was still tired from working on the festival, but a few spars and stance training was not going to do much damage to his reserves. "Ah…" The boy sighed as several of his joints popped loudly. "That felt good…" He looked around absently. "Hey… where's Neji?"

Hiashi coughed and Hinata looked away embarrassed. "My nephew has been recovering from a small incident that occurred shortly after he returned with Hinata…" Said incident was actually Hinata kicking his ass for taking her away from Naruto's fox parts, but common courtesy and dignity prevented him from ever telling anyone. "He will be fine for the mission in a few days…" The group arrived to the grounds, which was really just a smaller version of the areas around the village. "We will be practicing here."

"It's a bit small…" Naruto mused as he looked around with all his senses. "But since this is really only for my taijutsu training, it'll do just fine." He turned to Hiashi. "So how are we going to start things off? Are we going straight to the kata or do you want a better idea of how I currently fight and decide how to teach me from there?"

"The latter." The clan head replied. "But only after I inform you of some unknown facts about our clan style."

Naruto nodded. "Understandable. I've had a lot of different teachers, so many of their teaching styles vary, but they all said that I should understand what I'm trying to do first before I actually do it."

"Logical words." Hiashi agreed as he walked to a training post. "Tell me Uzumaki, what do you know about our fighting style? This includes the use of our bloodline, ninjutsu and taijutsu."

The jinchūriki crossed his arms and put on a thoughtful look. "Well, I know that you guys use your Byakugan to analyze your opponents in great detail, then use what you gathered to exploit their weaknesses to get in their defenses. Your basic Jūken is enough to put anyone on edge since you force your chakra into another person's system with gentle strikes instead of hard hits. The most common way you do damage with your hits is either to blow out their system completely or to clog their system with your chakra… similar to an air bubble in a person's bloodstream causing a heart attack…"

Hiashi and Hinata glanced at each other nervously. The description of the second use of their attacks was unnaturally accurate. Even skilled medics would just claim their attacks woul 'plug' a person's system, but Naruto's explanation was far more informative. A small shake from Hinata told Hiashi that she was not the one that had told Naruto of this. This only worried Hiashi more, as it meant that it was likely that the Ōgakari were the ones that informed the boy of this.

"As for your actual form…" The boy continued. "I've heard from a lot of people that your taijutsu is based off of earth themed forms due to your low to earth stances and a lot of the stiff and direct movements you guys make, but I really don't buy it. Regardless, your style focuses mainly on quick and accurate jabs with equally quick evasion maneuvers so that you can stay within arm's reach of your opponent for as long as possible while still having enough control of your body to handle attacks coming from other directions. This is because most of your techniques are close ranged. You have Kaiten, but that's more for defensive purposes in case you are swarmed from all sides. From what Hinata-chan has told me, that empty palm technique of yours is like a long distance jūken strike, but in reality it's just a secondary measure for when you can't get an enemy close enough to you, because otherwise it would have been designed for a wider range of uses." He paused for a moment before nodding. "Yeah… that's pretty much all I got."

Hiashi looked at the boy with a stern face before relenting to his situation and relaxing a bit. "Your analysis of our clan's techniques is… accurate. Far more so than I had expected. In fact, it is such that I can forgo much of what I was originally going to instruct you with the exception of a few things." The man took a few steps forward and looked at the surroundings area. "Tell me… why do you not believe that our taijutsu style is founded on earth themed forms?"

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Why? Where do I start? The style is known as the _Gentle Fist_ , for crying out loud. That's flashing light number one: It doesn't rely solely on solid blows in order to win. A glancing one is enough to turn the tide of the fight. Number two: despite the strong base stance you guys start from, most of your movements are too fluid when you aren't using your more demanding techniques. And the nail in the coffin: earth based styles are pretty much universally simpler to understand and execute than your Jūken is. Advanced chakra manipulation and pulses an earth technique does not make… most of the time, at least."

Hiashi nodded. "A reasonable analysis… and completely true. If I weren't so confident about your loyalty to our village and to your friends, I would have been inclined to kill you in order to prevent you from telling anyone else about your theories…"

Naruto paled as Hinata decided to explain. "Naruto-kun, we purposefully spread false rumors about the earth style foundation of our taijutsu in order to mislead our enemies and protect ourselves. The true foundation of Jūken is a combination of fire, lightning and water based taijutsu styles that we have woven together in order to use our bloodline to its maximum effect. In fact, almost everyone in our clan naturally has a strong fire affinity, much like the Uchiha clan. It's part of the main reason why we joined Konoha in the first place instead of one of the other villages."

"Whoa… I didn't see that coming…" Naruto mused as he processed what Hinata had said. He did not expect the combination of 3 elements as a taijutsu form, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. Water based taijutsu had a very adaptable and fluid form and could easily switch from defense to offence without a second's notice. Lightning based taijutsu specialized in quick movements and fast, direct strikes to key parts of the human body, though they weren't above the occasional punch to the face route either. Fire based taijutsu was all about offence. It aimed to unleash constant barrage of light and heavy blows tasked to do as much damage as possible while preventing the opponent from adequately defending himself from everything. The combination of the three styles, while difficult to imagine at first, seemed to meld perfectly into Jūken. "That's… very impressive…" The boy admitted after a few moments. "But… why wouldn't you guys brag about this? I mean, even if people know about how your style was made, there isn't much a person can do against it… plus, you would get the rights to making one of the most complicated styles on the planet…"

"There is a way for people to counter it…" Hinata sighed, getting a shocked look from her boyfriend. "Our jūken strikes, while they do appear to be nothing but raw chakra in appearance, are actually laced with a combination of some fire and incredibly small amounts of lightning chakra. Our chakra is composed uniquely for our attacks to work… otherwise, anyone could have managed to mimic our attacks with enough practice without any help. Pulsing chakra out of your hands isn't that hard, after all. The penetrating effect of lightning chakra ensures that our attacking chakra invades our opponent's bodies deep enough to do damage, and the lingering effects of fire chakra ensures that our chakra does maximum lingering damage to our opponent's insides. Of course, the amount of both elements that we put into our attacks are so small that not even sensors can detect them, but if our secrets were ever found out, there could be extreme consequences. Should an opponent channel enough water laced chakra through their bodies during our attacks, the effects of our techniques would be drastically reduced."

Naruto blinked before understanding the clan's situation. "I get it now…" He mused. "So… part of the reason why your clan never uses elemental ninjutsu is because people would find out about almost all of you being fire affinities… which would eventually lead to someone figuring out the connection between that and your taijutsu." He turned to Hiashi. "Spreading word about having an earth foundation for your taijutsu not only covered up the real history behind Jūken's style and is the most believable, but also deterred water affinity specialists away from confronting your clan since earth has a natural advantage over water types… clever."

Hiashi nodded. "You are exactly correct. I am surprised that you concluded the rest of our lecture so quickly. You are certainly more perspective than you let on… another trait that is invaluable for learning our clan techniques…" He walked to the center of the field. "Tell me, what other forms have you practiced or mastered?"

Naruto looked at Hinata for a moment before shrugging. "Well I'm about a half step away from mastering the Gama-ken (Toad Fist) style if what the old geezer toad said is true. I'm pretty good at the Academy Style, but I don't really use that much. Ero-nii taught me a water based taijutsu style called Tai-Chi. It's a really good counter style, but other than that it's rather bland and really just made for old people. Other than that, all I really have is a lot of dancing lessons that I use to move and dodge easier without losing balance. Anything else I come up with is just stuff I made up from a lot of freestyle sparring. To be honest, I rarely had to fight using pure taijutsu for a while because my talons extended my reach enough that few people actually managed to get that close to me for so long."

"I see…" Hiashi mused as he tried to put what he knew of the boy's skills together in his head. "It is a good foundation. However, I would like to see more of your style in action…" He nodded to Hinata, who walked forward. "If you two would please spar using only your taijutsu…"

"Right." The two teens nodded before taking their appropriate stances from one another and slowing down their breathing while the eldest man walked out of their range.

As if on some unforeseen signal, both charged at each other with impressive speed. As this was a spar, both still had their gravity seals on, but they were still none the less fast as Naruto launched a straight punch at Hinata's chest. Hinata in turn rolled around the arm and managed to get behind the boy, countering with a strike to the back of the head. However, while Hinata had repositioned herself around her opponent, Naruto continued to fall forward so that his outstretched hands reached the ground and pushed so that he was now upside down. Using his forward movement still, the boy had also put in a spinning movement as well, thrashing his legs in a circular movement just as Hinata had struck where his head was supposed to be.

Hinata was not caught off guard though as she reflexively ducked under Naruto's kick, already prepared to strike his head's new location, only to find that the boy was spinning on one arm… and the other was a moment away from backfisting her kneecaps, a debilitating blow if it hit. The heiress' responded by deflecting the hit with her attacking hand and jumping back just as Naruto's other spinning leg swung down where she was previously.

Just as Naruto slid back onto his feet again, Hinata charged this time and the process repeated. Attempted strikes followed by counter maneuvers and counter counters flowed between the pair like water, however it soon became apparent to Hiashi what was happening…

 _'His style has good foundation. A strong body with solid base forms and attacks… smooth and well versed movements are ingrained into his body… his reaction time is above average if his abilities were compared to the Byakugan's, which is praiseworthy as well… but for switching his focus from the front to his rear side, he almost always relies on that spinning break dancing style in order to deal with the oncoming danger. It's a good idea for a quick counter, but in fast or drawn-out situations, it can disorient him… that is, if the enemy has yet to take note of the habit of his in the first place.'_ Hiashi mused as he saw Hinata sneak a couple of nearly invisible jabs into her opponent's leg before they separated again.

' _From how they are moving… they both know of this as well. The boy apparently has no way to efficiently deal with dangers from behind quickly without moving in an over the top motion designed to disorient those close by…most styles deal with this by first distancing the user from his rear opponent and gaining a more favorable position, but Uzumaki desires a more immediate answer to that situation…'_ "Enough." The Hyūga head stated, causing both teens to freeze, both with their hands inches away from the other's chest. "I have seen Uzumaki's reason for wanting to learn our techniques. We shall start with the basic kata as soon as he recovers from Hinata's strikes to his leg…"

No sooner than Hiashi stated that, the blonde collapsed to the ground and comically wept. "This is why I kept you away from me during the exam, Hinata-chan… you're relentless when it comes to taijutsu… oww…"

Hinata sighed and began to heal the boy's legs. "That may be true, Naruto-kun, but if I wasn't, you would have been able to beat me without much trouble. Taijutsu and genjutsu are the only offensive fields that I am better than you at… and genjutsu doesn't work on you anyways…"

"I don't care…" The boy pouted childishly. "You could have at least not aimed for my tenketsu this time…"

Hiashi mentally sighed. He had a feeling that he would have an interesting experience teaching a child without the Hyūga's famous disposition…

o. o. o.

Just outside of Konoha:

Zabuza sighed contently as he jumped from tree to tree towards the village again after his long border patrol mission with 3 other nameless chūnin… which gave him another reason to prefer living in Konoha than in Kiri. Kiri's borders were nothing but ocean, and border patrol missions there usually involved 3 additional men (since the ratio of men to women shinobi was normally damn high), a boat, a butt load of food and water, no booze, and no privacy. Getting a border patrol mission in Kiri was dubbed 'getting the three blues' by anyone who had been in the system for more than a few years. Blue skies, blue water, and by the end of the mission, 4 sets of incredibly large blue balls. Those missions always seemed even longer when the number of men remained the same, but the number of blue balls didn't…

Shivering to himself, the ex-Kiri swordsman pushed those thoughts aside as he went over his last somewhat interesting mission. Due to his rather strong reputation as a water nature specialist, Zabuza's group was pointed to going over the Land of Fire's coastal borders. Oh yeah, that was a mission if the man had ever had one. Good weather, long beaches, excellent view, in more than one way, of course… and a few encounters with Kiri spy teams that were unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They put up a moderate fight… but Zabuza would be lying if he said that they weren't scared shitless about going up against him.

… Not that they didn't have a good reason to, of course. Still, they proved good test subjects for some new techniques with his sword that he wanted to try out. He hadn't perfect them out yet, but he knew a hell of a lot more about how to use them than he did before. After beating the living shit out of both teams by himself - something he desperately needed, according to the chūnin he was with, who claimed that he was screaming something about killing some green haired overpowered freak - the team tied them up and sent a message to the nearest ANBU outpost to pick them up. One of the ninja from the second team managed to get away, but Zabuza determined that the ninja, a genin from the way he carried himself, was not a threat by himself. The worst that would happen would be that word of him being a Konoha shinobi would be confirmed, and he was expecting that to happen eventually anyways.

Looking back at his sword briefly again, the man couldn't help but smirk again. Kubikiri Hōchō had been like a brother to him for years, ever since he'd joined the 7 Swordsmen. He took great care of his blade and loved the simple efficiency of it. The fact that he didn't have to constantly sharpen the blade due to its ability to absorb the iron in blood to regenerate itself was merely an added bonus. According to Scabbard, it was caused by some sort of hidden complicated sealing array hidden in the guard of the sword.

The only thing that bugged him was that others never seemed to respect it the same way they did the other blades owned by the group simply because its original ability wasn't designed for enhancing its offensive capabilities. When he thought back on it, he reluctantly admitted that its power was a bit underwhelming. Seriously, giving a massive sword like his the ability to regenerate its edge? It would take a ridiculously powerful technique to dent it in the first place, for crying out loud. He was a guy that specialized in assassination too, so he could easily count with one hand the number of times that the power had actually been somewhat useful and none of them had ever been lifesaving. In contrast, Samehada was a monster of a sword in both ability and shape, and Hiramekarei, while a bit odd looking and cumbersome, still packed one hell of a punch even in the hands of a noobie…

Now… now though, Kubikiri Hōchō had the boost it needed to be as famous as the rest of its brethren. Zabuza could confidently say that he was all but completely immune from almost all water based ninjutsu so long as he wasn't caught completely off guard and didn't do anything retarded… something he instinctively avoided due to his many years as a missing-nin. Plus, although he hated to admit it, the Ōgakari had managed to somehow keep his blade's original ability intact while redesigning it, so even if his sword was nothing but a hilt, he could still make good use of it on the battlefield with its other power while he waited for it to reform.

Landing in front of the front gate, the large man sighed and walked to the guard box. "Zabuza Momochi and three nameless guys back from a 3 week patrol of the eastern border."

"Zabuza?" Izumo grunted as he woke up from his half asleep state. "Oh hey. You're back. How was the east coast? I heard that now's around the end of the beach season, so you were one of the last guys here that managed to get some beach time for the year. How was it?"

The assassin smirked under his wraps. "The three b's, my friend. Booze, boobs and blood. Lots of all three, just the way I like it."

The chūnin laughed nervously as he signed the necessary paperwork. "I bet. Hope you left some for the rest of your team."

"A little…" Zabuza shrugged as he quickly checked through the required boxes and scribbled down his name before passing the clipboard to the rest of his temporary team. "They kept a decent eye out, but odds are that's only because they were scared that I'd snap and repeat my academy days on their asses. Pussies…"

Izumo's eyebrow twitched as the fake smile remained on his face. "Well, not everyone has such an interesting past as you do, Zabuza…"

The swordsman snorted as he walked away. "If everyone did, there wouldn't be anyone left in the world… I'll hand in the mission scroll, guys. There's something I want to talk to the old bat about."

Without turning around, the man waved goodbye to his temp teammates before waltzing to the Hokage's tower. Normally, he would just run on top of the buildings and get his mission report and business over with, but he wanted to see if anything else was new with the village. Lazily glancing in every direction, Zabuza noted the comfortable atmosphere in the main market area. Civilians and shinobi alike went along doing their business without a care in the world… though most gave the intimidating man more than enough room to walk. Even those who didn't know him by his reputation by now knew to stay away from people who wore big ass swords like his in public. Still, the environment was nice and inviting…

It was something he loved and hated very much. He hated it because this was supposed to be the strongest ninja village in the elemental nations. The least the guys here could do was look or act the part a little bit. It hurt the man's pride that he was beaten by people who could be so lax in broad daylight…

But for that same reason, he loved it here. He could actually relax without having to worry about someone going after his head for once. His guard never dropped, really… but he could at least let it down enough to enjoy the moment for more than 5 minutes at a time now.

Also, environments like this were perfect for a silent killing guru like himself, even in broad daylight… but once again, he liked it here, so he wouldn't kill anyone. Maybe in a few days he'd do a dry run through the crowds and alleyways… scare the shit out of some homeless bums and ANBU that aren't doing their jobs for some kicks… just like how he used to haze the noobie ANBU in Kiri. Ah, good times.

Just as he approached the Hokage's tower, though, he noted that the nearby academy and several other buildings had some notable damage. Adding it to his list of things to ask Tsunade, the Demon of the Mist quickly entered the main building, went into the mission report room, handed in the scroll, and made his way to Tsunade's office.

"Oi. I'm here to see the Hokage." Zabuza grunted to the middle aged receptionist, some ex-ANBU kunoichi if his observations were accurate, since the woman didn't flinch under his apathetic gaze. She had a few points in his book for being one of the few that didn't.

"You know, you're going to get called out for not using honorifics when addressing those more important than you one of these days, Zabuza." The woman sighed after barely glancing at the man before going back to her work as if nothing had happened.

"Likewise." Zabuza replied in an emotionless tone. Oh yeah, she was definitely ex-ANBU. "So?"

"Depends. Appointment, emergency, Naruto, casual or other?" The woman sighed.

Zabuza had to try fairly hard to not show any reaction to hearing Naruto's name being on the list of reasons to see Tsunade. It wasn't the first time he had heard them, but he still couldn't get used to it. It was even on the list of reasons to see Sarutobi from when he was on probation too. "Kiri." He replied bluntly, knowing that was enough to get his point across.

The woman stopped writing on the paper she was working on and calmly put her pen down. "I see." She said simply before going to the door that led to Tsunade's office. "Just a moment."

"Can you at least tell me that the old hag is drunk and sleeping on the job this time if you turn me away?" Zabuza called out behind the woman with a grin hidden under his wrappings. If Tsunade heard that, he was several seconds away from getting pummeled into something even Kisame would have a hard time looking at, but it would still be completely worth it.

Two minutes later, the secretary walked back out of the door and glared at Zabuza with a promise of death. "Hokage-sama has made room for you in her busy schedule. I suggest you do not waste our time any more than you have…"

"Thanks, but you know that threat of yours would have been more convincing if you were still active." Snorted the assassin as he walked past her.

"Don't tempt me…" The woman muttered under her breath as the door closed, but still sounding clear as day to the man who was used to using his ears only to get around.

"Have fun flirting with my secretary?" Tsunade asked as Zabuza walked into the room. "Funny. I never expected you to go for older women."

"Is that an invitation?" The swordsman laughed.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. "Depends. You feel lucky enough to go with a woman that can literally break you in bed?"

"After what I saw you do to Jiraiya, no thanks." The male shook his head, trying not to imagine how his body would wind up if he actually said yes. "Onto business. It's written in my report, but I'm giving you heads up: I ran across a couple of teams on patrol, and kicked their asses no problem, but one of them got away. The rest of the ones we encountered were picked up by the nearby ANBU post, but odds are that word of me being in Konoha is gonna reach my old stomping grounds soon."

The Hokage nodded as she put away the paper she was working on and took out another file from her desk. "I can see why you came straight to me. We were preparing for this to happen eventually, but it's sooner than I would have preferred. Tell me, what do you know about the current state of Kiri?"

The large man shrugged. "I know Yagura kicked the bucket and some chick with two bloodlines has the hat now. It didn't stop them from sending hunter-nin after my head, so I didn't really bother finding out anything else really after I got here other than the stuff that any other shinobi worth their kunai would. I'm under the impression that things are less hellish there now, but I'm still not setting foot there without a damn good reason."

"Understandable." Tsunade nodded. "Allow me to clarify things for you. Kiri has abandoned the bloodline purges completely. From our limited reports, they're attempting to establish a rule similar to our own, but they are still prideful of their image and secrecy, so they have yet to ask for any aid from the other countries. The current state of the Seven Swordsmen is unknown, but with you here, Kisame in Akatsuki, and several others rumored to be dead, we can only assume that it is a mere phantom of what it once was. None the less, the government there has become more understandable and more lenient when it comes to intervillage negotiations… but not by much."

"So how are you going to handle things when the bird comes with the message for my head?" The man asked curiously, not worried at all about what could happen in the near future. The man had lived for years on the run from Kiri in the first place, and the second he had become a Konoha ninja, he had to deal with the Ōgakari… he frequently had trouble determining which of the two was more likely to get him killed early. "If what you said about my old sword buddies is true, then my old home would probably be pretty desperate to get me, one way or another."

"Same way we deal with pretty much every other demand for one of our ninja's heads." Tsunade shrugged. "Give us an offer that's at least five times as valuable as the shinobi in question or you can shove that message scroll up your ass. So far, we've had no real takers other than one or two traitors that we lost faith in, so it's worked pretty well…"

Zabuza sweatdropped. "You know… I really had higher expectations from Konoha's governing parties."

"Please, that's how all the governments do it." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "No one believes Konoha does it because we rarely make the demands and we don't sell out our men out… as long as they aren't traitors, of course. Even if our price is matched on a guy we like, we just stall for time and blackmail the other party before the deal is closed."

"You've given me another reason to like living here." The man smirked. "Oh yeah, speaking of the village, a good number of buildings are pretty torn up. Did Anko go on another massive drunk rampage with her summons again?"

The Hokage sighed. "I wish. There was a mass prison break, led by those backward bastards in the Hyūga clan…"

"Ah… yeah, that does suck. I should have stuck around. It probably was more interesting than my mission." Mused the swordsman, wishing for more action. "Any real damage?"

"There were a fair number of deaths and some property damage, but we still came out much better than it could have been." Tsunade stated. "Haku took out your old buddies the Demon Brothers pretty easily."

"They must have been pretty pissed." Laughed Zabuza. "Keep them in the prison. They were really just jackals following Haku and I after we ran away, and they always tried to stiff us when they could. So I guess that's all then."

"Almost." Tsunade grinned evilly, unnerving the man. "I was going to wait and watch, but since you came to tell me that you screwed up and are the cause of more work for me, I'll tell you now and watch you squirm." She saw Zabuza begin to sweat, clearly afraid of the woman now. The man was used to life or death situations, but his life in Kiri had not prepared him at all for the random chaos that Konoha could dish out in a split second.

"Wh-what is it?" The man asked nervously. "Did Haku find or do something to my room? Someone try and challenge me to a duel for my sword?" He swallowed heavily. "… Do I suddenly have a squad of fangirls after me now?"

Tsunade's grin widened. "Worse. Scabbard has another mission for you."

Zabuza's roar of anguish could be clearly heard all over Konoha.

o. o. o.

A random training ground:

Two blades arced in the air as if they were dancing. Each one, briefly flashing with the light of the sun, sang as they attempted to strike the owner of the other, yet they were constantly denied as their paths were either dodged or interrupted by their opposite…

"Man, this sucks…" Grunted Tenten as she stepped into a mildly complicated sequence of swings in an attempt to hit her sparring partner. "All those guys get to go on that long A-ranked mission to the Land of the Moon, and what do us chūnin get? More dull C-ranked missions. The last one I was on had me guarding this annoying, spoiled, fat prick of a noble…" She ducked as her opponent countered her last strike with a horizontal slash that could have taken her head off if the swords they were using weren't blunted. Without even hesitating, though, Tenten swung at the legs of her attacker, only for him to jump away. "Damn. So yeah, that tub of lard kept on trying to buy me so I could be a part of his harem. The worst part was that when I stuck some kunai near his head in order to shut him up, he actually became more interested in me. Freaking masochistic noble bastards…"

"I'd prefer it if you didn't aim your frustrations at me." Sasuke sweatdropped as he readied his sword again. "As for the mission, I'm glad I'm not on it actually. Missions with Naruto on them have a good chance of going straight to hell. Sure, our group can take care of ourselves, but I prefer to not go up against random jōnin that have grudges against their home villages or are obsessed with power for once. I'd rather not run into any more S-class shinobi for a while…"

Tenten shivered. "I second that motion. I ran into a couple myself when I was with Scab-sensei. One of them wanted to turn Neji into a human puppet…" She took a deep breath and calmed down. As she did so, a faint blue haze covered the sword she was holding. "So shall we turn things up?"

Sasuke nodded as his eyes activated without any other motion. "Sure. Just don't complain when I lay you on the ground."

Tenten smirked. "Funny, I was just about to say the same thing…"

Kakashi sighed as he glanced at his student and Gai's student charging at each other with a passion before slashing and dodging with increasing fervor. With Tenten's water natured chakra enhancing her sword and Sasuke's Sharingan, the spar soon developed into something that would catch the interest of anyone passing by.

"They're getting stronger…" He mused out loud as he turned the page of his book. "How was your mission?"

"It was all right. I got some more training done in my spare time, but for the most part, it was just me standing there and pointing at a screen. I got bored real fast." Sakura sighed as she appeared from behind a tree and whistled. "Wow. I knew Sasuke-kun had been getting better, but I never expected Tenten to move like that."

"She was always natural with a weapon, but enhancing them with water chakra almost makes it as if they really are a part of your body." Kakashi shrugged as a particularly long series of metallic rings reached their ears. "Unwanted momentum and wasted energy are all but taken care of, and the moves you do have come much faster to the user. It's among the more desirable affinities for experienced sword wielding shinobi, though I hear that the samurai of Iron prefer lightning…" He paused and looked at Sakura. "Speaking of elements, have you found out what affinity you have yet?"

Sakura shook her head. "No, not yet. I'm kinda hoping I have water so Naruto, Sasuke and I cover all of the 5 main elements, but considering where my specialties lie, I wouldn't mind being an earth element either."

Kakashi nodded. "Understandable. You know, you can always train for those elements now and get a head start. Even if you aren't those types, your body is still young, so it can adapt to the elements pretty quickly compared to when you're older, especially since your reserves are large enough now to handle that kind of training."

"Sorry for having naturally smaller reserves than the normal prodigy, Sensei." The Haruno rolled her eyes as she picked up a leaf from the ground and looked at it with mild interest. "I think earth chakra would be most useful at this point. I have to grind the leaf to dust, right?"

The cyclops eye smiled. "Yep. Try to make your chakra coarse and rough while you do so. Normally, it shouldn't be that hard for someone with such control as your own, but it might be a bit difficult since it's the exact opposite of what you normally do for your medical ninjutsu. Considering it's you… I'm estimating that it will take you around a month in order to get past this step."

"Thanks." The girl sighed as she put the leaf between both her hands and began to focus. "… So things have been pretty busy while I was gone, huh?"

Kakashi shrugged. "Nothing we couldn't handle. You did miss a pretty good party for Naruto's birthday. Our hyper friend made off pretty well, if I do say so myself. He's actually in charge of that mission to the Land of the Moon along with Gai's and Kurenai's teams and Hinata. You actually just missed them yesterday. They're supposed to be gone for a few months."

Sakura blinked for a moment before turning to her teacher. "A few months? I thought that we were only gone for a few weeks last time."

The pervert turned another page. "We were the third group to take that mission that time, Sakura. Naruto and your friends are getting it straight from the beginning. Plus, with two teams there the odds of anyone feeling confident enough to pull anything is reduced…"

"And the odds of them getting into too much trouble with that coup are down too." The pinkette stated as her jade eyes narrowed. "I think it's still too early to give Naruto that much command on a high ranking mission… but I'll have to trust Tsunade-sama's judgment."

Another clash of metal broke the two out of their stupor and caused them to look at Sasuke and Tenten. The two were locking blades with the other, not daring to let the other get an inch and staring at the other intently… until Tenten surprisingly let go of her sword with one hand and fell back. Sasuke's eyes widened as he momentarily lost his balance and fell forward, yet he never took his eyes off of Tenten's sword and disarmed the girl as quickly as he could. He succeeded… only to find an exact copy of the sword he had just gotten rid of angled at his neck held in her other hand.

"Well… that is interesting…" Kakashi mused with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't know something like that was possible…"

"She made a real sword out of chakra in a split second… without any seals…" Sakura gaped.

"That's an interesting trick… I lose." Sasuke stated in a controlled tone as he looked at Tenten's weapon with his eyes active. "It's not a genjutsu… and I know I can't copy whatever you did for some reason. If I didn't just disarm your other sword, I would have assumed that you were holding it to my neck right now. I'm guessing that is what Scabbard-sensei was teaching you? I've never heard of a bloodline limit or ninjutsu like that…"

Tenten smirked as she took the blade away from Sasuke and canceled her technique, causing the fabricated weapon to shatter into thin air. "It's not a bloodline. It's just some really rare ability that Sensei saw in me that he said resembled a good friend of his. Sensei's just helping me bring it out to its full potential… but I still have a really long way to go."

Sasuke returned the smirk as he put away his sword. "Must be one hell of a power if you aren't close to mastering it yet."

Tenten paused momentarily while picking up her dropped practice sword to remember that scenery she had only seen once before at the beginning of her special training. Even now, the thought of such a place caused her to shiver and wonder if she had been dreaming the entire thing. "You have no idea, Sasuke…"

o. o. o.

In some random country's capital:

"So where the hell is this Prince that we're supposed to be protecting?" Kiba asked as the 8 teenagers walked through the streets of the city. "I hate cities that have a lot of nobles. There's too much of that annoying strong perfume everywhere."

"Oooh! I could find a new brand to use!" Ino squealed. "Thanks for reminding me, Kiba! Can we make a quick stop before we meet the client?"

"No, Ino." Neji stated plainly. "We are already cutting it close after you decided to splurge on that new set of clothes you got this morning and the flower shop after that."

"Hey! I'll have you know that the flower shop had a VERY rare species of plants for an outrageous deal!" Ino countered pridefully. "If I can cultivate them for my family's shop, we could make a fortune!"

"Guys, can we stop arguing as we're walking to our client?" Hinata asked in an innocent fashion, but anyone who paid any attention could see the lining of a threat.

"Yes ma'am." The more vocal of the genin there said at once, causing Naruto to snigger.

"Heheh. Calm down, Hinata-chan. I've read in the reports that the Prince is supposedly a pretty laid back guy. So long as we don't royally screw things up, there shouldn't be many problems coming from him."

The girl blushed and looked away embarrassedly. "I-I know. I just wanted to make sure we don't cause a commotion in the middle of the street. We're getting looks from the locals after all, since they can tell we're ninja…"

The shinobi didn't break their step but all glanced around them to see the various nobles and general populace give them a wide birth as they walked to the capital building where the Prince of Moon Country was supposed to be waiting for them. Many were glancing at them warily and disbelievingly at the same time.

"Pussies." Kin grunted as she saw one man flinch as their eyes met. "Honestly, it's sad to see people more than twice our age run away from us like that when they don't even know what we can do…"

"So you are saying it's okay for them to react like that if we inform them what our abilities are?" Sai asked curiously, causing the rest of the shinobi to sweatdrop.

"Well… considering our range of skills… I guess it really isn't that unreasonable…" Naruto muttered somewhat embarrassed. "I mean, considering what the standard civilian's physical limits are…"

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me…" Moaned a deep male voice, gaining the group's attention as they approached the gates of the capital building. The teens looked to see a pair of guards walk towards them. "I heard that the fat idiot from Moon country had called Konoha for some protection for his trip, but kids? The Leaf really must be letting their position get to their heads if they think this is adequate protection. There isn't even a damn adult to keep you rugrats in check!"

Ino frowned. "I could make him stop talking right now…" She muttered as she slowly readied her secret stash of paralysis senbon.

Naruto replied by continuing to walk forward to the cocky guard with a grin on his face. "Great! So we're at the right place after all! Since you sound like you know where our client is, can you please take us to him?" He took out a scroll. "Here's the mission request that proves who we are. It's signed by the Hokage and everything so to show that we are who we say we are, which are bodyguards… for this mission at least."

The man snorted as he took the scroll from Naruto's hand and read its contents briefly. "Two chūnin and 6 genin ranked shinobi? They could have at least sent a jōnin for this…"

"If I may correct you? Said chūnin are already recommended for being promoted to special jōnin very soon! Their flames of youth are only matched by their incredible skill!" Lee said stiffly. "As for the rest of us, almost all made it incredibly far in the latest Chūnin Exams! Hokage-sama would not have sent us if she did not believe in our abilities, sir!"

The guard looked at Lee disbelievingly despite the somewhat hardened looks of the teens were giving him before rolling up the scroll and giving it to Naruto again before leading the way. "Huh. Whatever. Just don't start crying when you run out of milk, brats…"

"So long as you stop crying at us for getting the job you wanted, sure." Naruto shrugged, causing the guard to stumble and glare back at the boy… only to meet a pair of glowing sapphire eyes and a fanged grin.

"S-sure…freaking brats…" The man grunted as he turned around again and continued to lead them into the building.

Neji sighed as he walked up to Naruto. "You do realize I myself was about to call him out on that…"

"Sorry, but you're too in control of yourself to pull off the potential psychotic child killer look." The blonde sniggered back quietly as the rest of his teammates quietly gave him a pat on the back for a job well done. "I'll let you have the next one… so long as you beat everyone else to it. Don't blame me if you're slow as shit."

Neji responded by snorting and falling back again, glancing at the people that they walked by and determining if they were an immediate threat.

The group was led through the building for several minutes before they reached the back entrance, which was just as big as the front and occupied by a long line of carriages. Horses, servants, drivers, chefs, mechanics, standard guards and many other people were running around and getting into position, clearly getting ready to leave soon.

Kiba whistled. "Wow. We were told that the caravan was big, but I think they forgot about half of the carriages in the description."

"Ugh. So many horses." Ino moaned. "Why did we have to go on our missions with open toed sandals? There's no way we're gonna make it without stepping in their crap…"

"Come on. The Prince is this way." Grunted the guard, ignoring Ino's complaints, as he took them to a white carriage that was clearly better furnished than the others. "Your highness! Your guards from Konoha have arrived!" He announced, only slipping in a barely noticeable amount of sarcasm when he said guards.

"Eh? They're here?" Asked a bloated and childish sounding, yet clearly belonging to a full grown man, voice from inside the carriage. "I was starting to get worried. We were getting ready to leave soon…" The door opened to reveal a very fat man in expensive but light clothing. "Sorry, Shomaru. Looks like you and your friends won't be guarding me after all."

"Shame." Naruto sniggered before walking forward and bowing to his client. "Prince Michiru, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, a chūnin of Konoha and captain of the shinobi in your employment." He stood straight back up and gave the man a better view of his friends. "Behind me are my fellow chūnin Hinata Hyūga and the genin directly under our command Neji Hyūga, Lee Rock, Kin Teuchi, Kiba Inuzuka, Ino Yamanaka, and Sai."

"Sai?" Michiru asked curiously with a childish tilt to his head.

"I prefer to keep as much information about myself secret as possible, Michiru-sama." The pale boy bowed.

"Ah. That must be a thing you ninja do!" The childish man said almost happily as he acted as if he just figured out something secret. "But… are you sure that you are able to handle this mission? There are a lot of you, but you are all so young…" His eyes turned to Hinata, Ino, and Kin and he started to smile. "And there are several very cute little girls among you… are you sure that guys as cute as you are ninja?"

Kiba snorted. "You kidding? Hinata is the only person in our group other than Lee that can go toe to toe with Naruto and not get absolutely murdered. In my opinion, those three alone are strong enough to take out a small army, with or without ninja in it. Technically, that's also because whiskers over there is a small army by himself." Many of the other genin in the group nodded in agreement, having witnessed Naruto's fights with both of the mentioned fighters.

"Oh come on, I'm sure that someone as cute as you can't be that dangerous…" Michiru grinned too sweetly as he held out his hand. "I'll be in your care, young lady… it's a pleasure to meet you."

Hinata smiled gently and returned the handshake with one of her own. "It is an honor to meet another person of such high status, Prince Michiru…" She paused as the man began to stroke her hand with his free hand.

"Michiru-sama, it is not a good idea to provoke Hinata-san…" Sai said in a calm voice.

Hinata on the other hand smiled sweetly as she shot out some chakra in her hands at specific points on her palm, instantly shocking Michiru and causing him to jump back… to find that said shocked hand was completely paralyzed.

"Sir, I would advise you against doing such actions to my cousin…" Neji advised cautiously and irritably at the same time. "Just to inform you, our clan has the ability to paralyze or kill anyone we want with a few simple taps to our opponent's bodies, and recently Hinata-sama, who is the heiress of our clan, has been recognized to be one of the most promising potential heads in said clan in many generations. I myself have been praised by many as a prodigy of our arts as well."

"I… see…" The fat man wept as he blew on his hand and tried to regain feeling. "Is this permanent?"

Naruto laughed. "Don't worry. As long as nothing else happens, your hand will get back to normal in a few hours. Trust me. I've been hit by those strikes a lot more than…" He paused before beginning to sweatdrop and cry. "Well… pretty much everyone, really…"

Hinata began to pat her blonde crush on the back sympathetically while the rest of the genin laughed nervously, knowing that the one doing the hitting in the first place was Hinata.

Almost on cue, a small rubber tipped arrow flew through the air straight towards Naruto's forehead… only to stop a few inches away from its target and hover in place, much to the shock of almost everyone there.

"Captain…" Sai whispered as he was crouched next to Naruto with his hand on his tantō in a defensive stance before most people noticed he had moved.

Naruto rolled his eyes, already out of his depression, and slapped Sai on the back of his head. "Calm down, Sai, and look at the damn thing…" The blonde sighed as he held the arrow. "This thing isn't even big enough to choke me."

"That's what she said…" Sniggered Kiba to the others, who for the most part snorted in amusement.

 _'Not yet… but that might be true eventually…'_ Hinata mentally growled before pausing and nearly having her head blow up in embarrassment for what she had just mentally planned.

 _'This is gonna be a LOOONG mission…'_ Naruto mentally wept, not even attempting to address the rest of his team at the moment before looking in the carriage to see the boy with glasses that tried to hit his head. "Not bad, kid. Your aim was dead on, but you're trying to hit me with a toy." He turned back to look at Neji's team. "What do you guys think? Tenten's been practicing with the bow a lot lately, so you'd know more about how good he is."

"Eh." Kin shrugged. "It wasn't bad, but he's still a shrimp. Give him a few years to fill out and ask me again then."

"Although it was rather rude to aim at our leader, your skill and proficiency with the bow is most youthful for one your age!" Lee stated with wide unblinking eyes.

"It was worth some notice." Neji said simply.

"Hikaru. Stop being so rude to our new guards." The big man chided the boy. "I am sorry for my son's actions. He's a bit of a demon."

Naruto shrugged. "No harm done. Even if he had attached an exploding tag to that thing, it still would have been less severe than what some of our Sensei do to us."

"Why are you the leader?" Hikaru asked curiously, but also with an air of superiority. "You look like a complete idiot…" He then turned to look at all of the other ninja there. "Other than that older guy with the white eyes, you all look weird. Are you really sure you can protect us?"

"Tell me that brat didn't just say what I think he did…" Ino said with a very strained polite grin on her face while twitching her fingers.

"Akamaru… we have a new stealth training target for the next few months…" Kiba whispered to his partner… who whimpered apathetically.

Naruto simply laughed heartily and held the fake rubber arrow so that it was pointing the boy. "Depends. Are you sure that you can actually hit me with those arrows of yours?"

No sooner than Naruto said this than the arrow he was holding shot out of his hand straight to the boy's face… only to freeze just before its target, just like before. Only this time, the target didn't expect it and screamed out in shock and surprise, closing his eyes as a reaction. When nothing hit his face, the boy looked up slowly to see the arrow floating several inches from his eyes. "What…?"

"Great. Now blondie's a freaking psychic too." Kin groaned. "Seriously, dude, what the hell do you eat in the morning that lets you do stuff like that?"

"Ramen, eggs, milk, and anything Ero-nii has made that doesn't look or smell like it's been poisoned. On that note, if he ever gives you bacon that smells a little like lemons, don't eat it or you'll be spending the rest of the week on a toilet." The boy replied without missing a beat. "I'm still getting the hang of this particular trick, but trust me when I say I have a whole mess of other moves in my arsenal to use against guys that bug me." Naruto grinned as he turned to the Prince again. "Despite the fact that we are technically not high ranking shinobi, Prince Michiru, please understand that we are all quite notable shinobi. Otherwise, Hokage-sama wouldn't have trusted us with this high ranking mission."

The Prince… didn't respond, as he had ignored Naruto completely and was looking at the still floating arrow. "Amazing… it's just floating there… ninja really can do anything…"

The ninja and many of the civilians watching the event deadpanned at the man's childish reactions. "O…kay… not exactly what I was aiming for… but the results are the same… I guess…" The boy wept and began to sulk in a corner. "Why is it that when I try to be mature for once, people ignore me?"

Hinata patted him on the back sympathetically. "Don't worry Naruto-kun, I paid attention to you…"

"Prince Michiru! We are all prepared to leave whenever you wish!" Shouted a rather elderly man who appeared to be the leader of the servants, snapping everyone out of what they were doing at the moment.

"Ah! Of course! How thoughtless of me!" The fat man said aridly as he took his eyes off the floating arrow and turned to Naruto, who had quickly snapped out of his depression. "We will be leaving soon, Naruto-san. I'll be in your care."

"That's what we're here for." Naruto shrugged. "So where are we going? I know you still have a few months left in your trip, but the mission statement didn't say where you were going when we met up."

"Where?" The Prince replied almost in a surprised tone before thinking for a bit. "Oh! I remember now! We're going to a country north of here for the premiere of a movie that's coming out!"

"Movie?" Kin asked skeptically. "Even though you're such an important guy, why are you going out of your way for a movie?"

Michiru shook his head. "No, this is supposed to be a large event. There are a lot of important political figureheads coming to watch it too. I don't remember why, but the actress in it is someone really important…"

Naruto began to sweat profusely as he quickly connected the dots in his head. Oh, this was going to be a very _interesting_ experience.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Sasuke sighed as he shifted his sword, sheathed across his back, and looked at his future teammates as they got prepared to leave. Tenten was idly tossing a kunai in the air, but her eyes were stuck on Zabuza's sword again, which was strapped to the back of the irritably grumbling master assassin. Sasuke noted though that unlike the normal times Tenten looked at the blade, which could also be described as eye raping, the girl was staring at it more as if it was a puzzle now, like it was hiding something from her that she was on the verge of figuring out…

"Hey, you guys going out on a mission too?" Asked a curious voice from behind the group, causing all three of them to turn around to see Ghost, Anko and Hana all prepared for a fairly long trip.

"Yeah. Your brother seems to want to take us out on another freaking mystery tour again. We're waiting on him now." Zabuza grunted. "You off to kill someone again?"

Anko rolled her eyes. "Please. You think that if it was an assassination mission that it would need more than specks here?" There was a brief pause as the other team grudgingly admitted that the odds were unlikely. "We're going for a high ranked guard mission. The client's going to be out in the middle of a lot of crowds soon and from what we've read, she's made a hell of a lot of enemies lately. Fucking nobles…"

"Fucking nobles? Fucking Koharu and Homura!" Ghost moaned. "Those two crones called me out on not doing any missions lately and forced me to get off my ass to actually do something… ugh… productive." He shivered at the mention of the word as the other 5 just stared at him with tired eyes. "So yeah, I was assigned this mission, and since my guarding and keeping stuff alive skills suck compared to my killing things epically skills, I decided to bring Hana and Anko along for help."

"Right." Deadpanned Zabuza as he looked at the three. "Help. Just like you needed help remembering to use those silencing seals in the house. You do realize that there aren't any of those in the woods, right?"

Hana blushed heavily while Ghost and Anko grinned evilly. "Zabuza, I'm shocked." Ghost sighed aridly. "What makes you think I actually FORGOT to use the seals that week?"

The large sword wielder blinked several times before scrunching his face in anger and embarrassment. "God damn it!"

"So you and Scab are leaving?" Sasuke asked, trying to put what he had just heard out of his head. "Are you sure Waltz is okay alone with just Crypt so soon after the Hyūga incident?"

Ghost raised an eyebrow in surprise. "What… oh right… he told you about that time…" He shook his head. "Nah. The old geezer is fine…"

There was a brief explosion heard in the distance causing all of them to look to the source and see a speck fly over the village. "I can see into the everythiiiiiinnnggg!" Shouted the familiar insane voice of Crypt as the speck disappeared into the part of the village where the training grounds were clustered.

"Completely normal." Ghost nodded with absolute conviction.

Hana sighed before grabbing the immortal's ear and dragging him towards the gates, the triplets following her happily as they got to see their packmate torture her mate again. "Let's just leave now before that family of yours prevents us from actually doing our mission…" She turned to the other team. "Take care, guys. See you in a while."

"Hana… she's such a killjoy unless she's the direct victim…" Anko sighed as she followed the rest of her team. "What she said Sasuke, Tenten, Scab's bitch…" The woman had to dodge a kunai as she continued to run, laughing hysterically.

"I will kill her the next time I see her for that…" Zabuza growled menacingly, his hand already on his sword.

"You can plot how to murder your allies later, Zabuza. I want to get to our destination quickly." Stated the near emotionless voice of Scabbard as he approached the group.

"Hey Sensei, can you explain more about the mission to us?" Tenten asked curiously. "All the mission statement said was that you were the client, that it would take almost 2 months to do, that it had a training mission and Konoha representation qualification, and that we would spend the entire time out of the village."

Zabuza frowned. "I don't mind getting bloody every once in a while, but so help me, if this ends up like that last mission you plotted out…"

The green haired man shook his head. "No, this mission is what I labeled it as, but as for why and how, I will explain that when we meet our destination, which is about two days away from here. One if we make good time."

"Where are we going, anyways?" Sasuke asked curiously as the group exited the village walls and turned to a route that was not used as much as the others, but still enough that the path was clear. "It wasn't included in the mission report either."

Scabbard's lips twitched. "We're going to see my sister and some interesting people in her care…"

The three shinobi behind him couldn't help but shiver for some unknown reason.

o. o. o.

Kiri:

Mei Terumi sighed as she filled out another folder that contained reformation data on a portion of the village's management. It had been years since the revolution and Yagura's mysterious disappearance, and the people there were still suffering from its previous rule. It was times like this that she wished she had just left the village to someone else, but then she shook her head and realized that anyone else that could have possibly taken the job would have screwed things up long before this point and possibly ruined the entire country. So, here she was, working another late night… alone… single…

The papers were laughing at her… it was their fault she was like this… no one would mind if a few of them went missing…

A knock at the door interrupted the woman's violent thoughts. "Mizukage-sama." Ao's voice stated sternly. "Permission to come in. We have just come across some information that you'll want to hear."

Mei sighed and put her papers and writing implements away. This would probably be the last thing she would deal with that night, given that she should have gone to bed hours beforehand, and whatever Ao wanted to talk about seemed like it wouldn't be dealt with in a short amount of time. "Fine. Come in and tell me what's so important, Ao. Let me remind you that if it is something insignificant like the lack of respect from fresh genin, I will back up my threat of turning you into a jōnin instructor."

The eyepatch wearing man walked in briskly, not even acknowledging the woman's threat. "We found Zabuza."

Mei's eyes flashed as the door closed behind the man. "Go on." She ordered, her previous exhaustion gone.

"The rumors were true." Ao reported. "He's gone to Konoha and is a jōnin there… apparently, it was immediately after his reported involvement in Wave country's affairs and the death of the tycoon Gatō." He took out a report and began to read it. "We did not come across anything for sure until one of our spies in the Land of Lightning overheard an interesting conversation…"

"Lightning? I thought he was in Fire." Mei stated confused.

Ao nodded. "Yes, I was confused at first as well, but the story is that a rather talented blacksmith from Konoha expressed his wishes to deal with Kumo. In order to convince the Raikage that it was a worthwhile business move, he was going to showcase and demonstrate his wares in the Land of Iron's sword master tournament in roughly 2 months… along with Zabuza…" He paused with a frown. "… He claims to have altered and improved Kubikiri Hōchō…"

The room was silent for several seconds as Mei digested the information. "That… man… altered one of Kiri's prized weapons?" The woman asked slowly with dangerous eyes. "And Zabuza apparently LET him?" She took in a deep breath and calmed herself down. "… What do you know about this person? The one that claims to be a master swordsmith…"

Ao swallowed heavily. "According to the spy… his name is Scabbard Ōgakari, of the Ōgakari clan in Konoha. The clan is small and relatively new, so not much information is known about them… however, there have been rumors going around about a clan in Konoha that possesses unrivaled prowess in battle and a large amount of skills in other fields, though they could just be referring to the Uchiha."

Mei closed her eyes and thought heavily on what she had heard. Known the continent over as the Demon of the Hidden Mist, Zabuza was one of the most powerful members of the Seven Swordsmen ever recorded, and thus was not a person who was willing to allow some random man to alter his prized weapon. Konoha getting a hold on one of their weapons and elite swordsman was also a matter of concern. True, Kiri's government and status had changed since his failed coup, but the man still knew things about their village that could compromise their security.

It would be a major boon for Kiri if they could gain control of one of the 3 remaining living Swordsmen… however, she doubted that Konoha would be very partial to letting such a prized ninja go without an arm and a leg. Money was out of the question, and any trade agreements or ally treaties were too fickle to consider… She glanced at Ao, or more importantly, his eyepatch. Konoha was known for protecting their bloodline users with nearly religious fervor… but that would only paint a target on the back of Ao's head. Plus, as annoying as the man could be, she admitted that the Byakugan was more valuable to her than Zabuza was at the moment. She needed it around in case someone tried to control her like Yagura…

"We could always send hunters after him." Ao said simply. "It's not as if we have some kind of peace treaty with the Leaf…"

"Just like we don't stand a chance against them in our current state." Mei said bluntly. "If we suddenly go after major ninja of other countries without any sign of provocation, we could very well start the Fourth Shinobi War, and I am rather tired of fighting for my life against horrible odds, thank you very much. Sending spies is one thing that almost anyone can overlook because everyone does it. Kidnapping or killing a valued member of their forces is not, even if he was ours in the first place."

"Then what do you propose?" Ao frowned. "It's not as if we can just go to him and ASK him to come back…"

The two suddenly grew very quiet as they just thought of what Ao just said… and Mei put on her pleasant smile again. "Why, Ao… that actually does sound like a lovely idea…"

The eyepatch wearing man blinked in shock. "You have got to be kidding, Mizukage-sama! Zabuza has killed multiple squads of our hunter-nin by himself! He has no desire to come back! It's far too late to convince him to come back…"

 _'Too… late?'_ Mei's eyebrow twitched as Ao continued to rant.

"It's long past the time that Zabuza could just walk back here, completely forgiven for what he has done…" Ao continued irritably.

 _'Past… time?'_ The words echoed in Mei's head, drowning out everything else coming out of her assistant's mouth. "Ao… shut up… or I'll kill you…" The beauty smiled sweetly while releasing a healthy amount of killing intent, effectively silencing the man with fear. "I have heard what you have had to say, and I have taken it into consideration… however, we are doing things my way." She got up and looked at her shinobi rosters. "You said that Zabuza is rumored to appear at that swordmaster event in Iron? Well then, it would only be appropriate that we should enter some of our own participants as well…" She took out the profiles of two promising young chūnin and gave them to Ao. "Go to these two tomorrow afternoon and prepare them for a training excursion after telling them to meet with me…"

The stocky man grabbed the papers and looked at them before his eye widened. "These two? But Mizukage-sama…"

"It will be fine, Ao." Mei yawned as she walked out the door. "Remember, Zabuza has been in Konoha for a while now. The odds of him killing you on sight are much lower than they were before…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Shino sat down quietly as he ate his lunch in the park, watching his surroundings. The birds were singing, children were playing, and his insects were buzzing contently inside his body…

The boy's eyebrow twitched. "I've been forgotten again…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

I am tired as hell. My project is a 9 to 5, my chapters take forever for me to write, the latest Naruto chapters have only JUST started up again, and my roommate frequently gets drunk and throws up in our room around 4 in the morning twice a week.

… God there is nothing like California…

So we finally get to see the rest of the 7 swordsmen and their swords. I gotta say… some impressed me… others left me kinda depressed. … That's pretty much it.

Sage of seals finally finished his coverage of the anime up to the pain fight… holy crap that last chapter was ridiculous. If you haven't given the guy a review by now, do it. Seriously, the guy deserves major kudos for that monster.

If anyone hasn't seen it yet, I came out with a challenge recently. I'll repost it here just to make sure everyone's gotten it:

Blue Eyes of Death Perception Challenge

So I was going over some of the more interesting powers I have come across in manga and anime lately and I found one that I think is perfect for a Naruto fanfiction that hasn't been used yet. This ability will definitely be familiar to those who are fans of works from Type-moon.

 **The mystic eyes of death perception.** The eyes allow the user to see the lines and points of death, or the Nature of the subject's death, on people and objects and mystical items and diseases and seals and etc. What this means is if the user had a knife and traced the lines on say, a diamond, there would be no resistance and the rock might as well be toilet paper. Another example that was actually used once was the user, with a knife and a steady arm, can stab the point of death of a tumor that was in her opponent, thus killing the tumor and saving the girl. Stabbing a point of death would be an absolute one hit kill on anything. A last example would be if an immortal was stabbed in their point of death, they would indeed die because stabbing a point of death is an action of killing the target's existence itself. Biju would be helpless against a guy who had them. The drawback is that humans weren't meant to see them and without training the user would constantly see everything die or fall apart around them and go insane, or their brains would overload from the stress and they would die from brain hemorrhaging. If you want more of the specifics, look up the eyes yourself.

Yeah, I have your interests now, don't I?

So the challenge is simple: either during the Kyubi's attack, or after an unfortunate mob incident, Naruto gains these horrifically strong eyes. The Kyubi will act as a filter/restraint against the eyes from overloading him, but he does not necessarily need to know of its existence immediately.

Teams: Anything you want, but Asuma or Anko HAS to teach Naruto how to use a knife (or knives) at some point in the story. Anyone who has watched Tsukihime or Kara no Kyoukai will understand why. On a side note, if it's Anko teaching him, it would be a good idea to use the eyes on her cursed seal.

Also, while his abilities are initially hidden from the rest of the village, the Hyūga clan will eventually find out about it… and (for the most part) become extremely wary and unnerved about his new powers.

Pairings can be anything you want, and I have nothing against harem fics, but I personally think that Hinata should always be with him. Also, NO TEACHERS OR ANYONE OLDER THAN HANA PAIRED WITH NARUTO IF A HAREM! THERE IS A LIMIT TO THE AGE DIFFERENCE PEOPLE. (DON'T ARGUE ABOUT THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN MY OC AND HANA AND ANKO EITHER BECAUSE THE AGE DIFFERENCE THERE IS SO OBSCURELY HUGE THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.)

Sasuke… is also up in the air. I am personally annoyed with bash fics cause after a while the constant idiocy stuck in them takes away from the story, but if he ends up evil and not completely retarded that's ok. Just try and keep it balanced. Likewise the village is the same. Do what you want, but please keep it controlled to some extent in order to maintain balance in the story.

Crossovers: The type-moon universe technically is one giant crossover with itself, but for the most part keep the actual references to other stories to a minimum at the most.

As for the overall tone of the story. I am famous for my very light hearted viewpoints and comments in my story, but in this case I'm hoping for a story that leans towards the awesome and serious, but realistic as well. That means character interactions are a must.

You don't have to follow all the instructions above, but they are advisable for good plot points.

So that's it. I'm working my ass off. Home just got nailed by at least 3 massive snow storms, I'm laughing my ass off at that, and getting decent cheap food in California is a bitch of a chore.

So review, worship the log, work hard, pray that you can develop a good amount of skill in computer programming by the time you enter the work world, and review again. Later guys.


	60. I like pie. It's big, round, tasty, has many flavors, not hard to take places without falling apart, and it's oh so easy to hide something in that no one will ever find until it's too late…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 60: I like pie. It's big, round, tasty, has many flavors, not hard to take places without falling apart, and it's oh so easy to hide something in that no one will ever find until it's too late…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

In the barbecue restaurant that Team 10 used to frequent, four chūnin and a special jōnin sighed as they waited for their orders to arrive.

"Man…" Sakura sighed. "I was hoping to spend some more time with Sasuke-kun and the others before they left on that long mission of theirs…"

"It is understandable." Shino droned as he sat completely straight, which was normal for him. "Our old teams have been split up quite frequently lately. Among those of us left in Konoha, Shikamaru and Chōji are the only ones who were on the same team…"

"You make it sound like we planned that." Said Nara yawned while propping his arm up with one arm. He had gotten back to Konoha the previous day and personally, he just wanted to sleep. More than usual, even.

"I'm not complaining." Chōji shrugged. "Hanging out with everyone is nice and all, but it's also good to be with the friends that don't go crazy every other minute…"

Haku giggled. "Are you insinuating that Ino is part of that group, Chōji?"

"Yeah…" He sighed before his eyes widened. "D-don't tell her I said that though! Please!"

Sakura laughed. "Calm down, Chōji. If anything, you can just tell her that I made you agree with me on that. She can't hold anything against you if I'm the one who made you do it in the first place."

"Women…" Shikamaru sighed.

"So Sakura, Shikamaru. What are your plans now that you're finally back in town?" Haku asked curiously.

Sakura shrugged. "I'm just training under Tsunade-sama in my medical techniques and taijutsu. To be honest, it's a lot like training under Waltz-sensei. Lots of dodging for your life followed by lectures on what I could have done better, medical theory, and chakra control exercises… though I'm also trying to develop an earth affinity in my spare time…" She took out a leaf and put it between her hands. She focused for a few seconds before taking her hands apart to show that the leaf had several tear marks in it. "I think I'm making good progress, all things considered."

"I just wanna rest." Yawned Shikamaru. "I guess I'll be helping out Tsunade-sama with her paperwork a bit… but for the most part I think I'll just practice on my stamina, speed, and play some shōgi with the Third…"

The rest of the people there nodded, knowing that increasing the Nara's speed and stamina would help out the boy's ability on the battlefield the most. His ninjutsu was already on a high enough level that even some jōnin would come to ask him for advice, and no one doubted the boy's brain. It was rumored that the only people smarter than him in the village were his father, Kakashi, and Scabbard Ōgakari.

"I'm hoping to get a decent mission soon." Chōji sighed. "I've only gotten a few courier C-ranks since my promotion. Other than the prison break, I haven't been able to test myself at all. I mean, it's given me some more free time to train in my family techniques with dad, but I still want some more experience…"

"Agreed." Shino nodded. "I have found myself in a similar situation… though to be truthful, it does take time for members of my clan to adjust to receiving additional hives, especially for ones at my level, who are used to having only one or two…"

"What about you, Haku?" Sakura asked curiously. "We haven't heard much from you lately…"

Haku blushed and looked around nervously. "Oh… I've been around doing missions. They've been taking up a bit of my time lately, so I haven't been able to hang out much…"

In truth, Haku had been scouted and drafted into ANBU before her parole in Konoha had even finished when they became aware that she had been masquerading as a hunter-nin when travelling with Zabuza… and getting away with it. It was, of course, approved by Sarutobi secretly before anything had been done. In addition to her training on the side with everyone else, the girl had been taking classes and mock missions frequently, but her experience on the run had made her more adept and used to the conditioning than most enlistees, making her a highly sought after member of the organization. Technically, her ambush against the Oto squad with Kakashi Gai and Yamato was really an evaluation done by Kakashi to see how well she had done. None of her missions had been of much importance so far, just some reconnaissance into some of the countries that Orochimaru had been rumored to have had bases in, but she knew that was bound to change sooner or later…

Haku's feeble reply was interrupted when the waitress there came by with their food and placed it on the grill.

"Oh sweet, sweet food! At last you have come to me…" Chōji drooled at the sight of the seasoned meat being cooked in front of him.

"Easy boy. Calm down, it's not going anywhere." Shikamaru sighed.

"You're right… I should probably…" Chōji relented before he paled. "Oh no! I forgot to wash my hands! I can't eat like this! I'll be right back!"

The rest of the group deadpanned as the large boy bolted for the bathroom. "…Akimichi table manners etiquette…" The Nara explained. "It's pounded into their kid's heads before they even touch shinobi teachings… or walk, if the rumors are true…"

"Ahhhhh." Nodded the rest of the group in an understanding way.

The table was quiet for a few moments before Shino cleared his throat, gaining everyone else's attention. "… I do not want to give a wrong impression, but I believe that I have some questions that need to be answered…"

The rest of the group looked at each other curiously. "Huh?" Sakura blanched. "Where's this coming from Shino? What are you talking about?"

Shino frowned. "I shall not speak of much right now seeing as we are in a public dwelling, but allow me to simplify things. You four, Naruto, Kakashi, Zabuza, and Asuma-sensei, and several other individuals that we know are carrying with you an odd change in your chakra that my insects can barely detect." He pointed to the paling Sakura. "You started carrying the scent during our month training for the exams… which is when your personality, chakra, and abilities changed noticeably… another similarity that you share…" He put his hand back. "… Shikamaru already knows of my suspicions… however, I believe that I deserve some answers. Otherwise, I may be forced to go to others with my concerns…"

The remaining time travelers sitting there fidgeted in their seats, trying to figure out a decent way of dealing with their situation…

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru sighed. ' _First dad, now Shino…'_ He opened one eye and looked straight at the Aburame. "We'll talk at the place where we held the party tonight. For now, let's just try and eat without causing a bigger scene than Chōji is about to in 3… 2…"

"My hands are clean and the food is cooking! The planets are aligned and my stomach is rumbling!" Chōji roared as he skidded back to the table with a possessed look on his face. "Eating is a battlefield!"

"Nice poem. You just make that up or was that one of your dad's 'moments of inspiration' speeches?" Shikamaru asked in an almost curious tone.

"You had too many syllables… otherwise, that could have been a haiku." Sakura sighed, trying to de-stress the situation.

Shino's eyebrow twitched a few times. He would have preferred to gain some information now… but at least he was going to find out in general what was happening to his friends lately.

…Now if only Chōji would stop making such a disturbing face at their dinner while it cooked…

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

Jūgo, Tayuya, Jirōbō, Sakon, and Ukon stood in line, grimacing and watching in silence as Kimimaro fought against a kid several years younger than them. Both were using their swords (or in Kimimaro's case his bone) to try and cut the other to pieces… yet so far, neither could land a decent scratch on the other…

"So that's the brat that Orochimaru wanted, huh…" Tayuya mused as the Uchiha's blade began to crackle with electricity. "For a shrimp, he isn't half bad…"

"Wow…" Jūgo awed as he watched the fight. "I've never seen or expected anyone around our age last this long against Kimimaro… Sasuke Uchiha…" He mused. "I heard that Orochimaru was going to switch to his body if he couldn't heal Kimimaro… I can see why now…"

"He's lasting longer against Kimimaro than any of us would alone… even if no one is using their Cursed Seal…" Sakon grunted, glancing for a moment at everyone's modified seals. At the moment, only Kimimaro had access to his. The rest of the groups' were locked up tight until they could prove that they were in more control of themselves.

"Why would Kimimaro agree to train him so willingly, though?" Jirōbō asked curiously. "I mean, he's done only a bit more than what he was asked by the freaks…"

"It probably has to do with the fact that the brat was Orochimaru's second pick for his next body." Sakon muttered. "Kimimaro probably thinks that if Orochimaru ever comes back, the best way to show that he was still loyal was to say that he prepared his next body for him to adequate standards…"

"I wish he would just get off that already…" Tayuya sighed. "Like it or not, we've switched masters… and I'm still not sure who's the stronger of the two…"

The group didn't bat an eyelash as the bone wielder sped up his pace and kicked the Uchiha a good distance away.

"'Bout time he stopped playing around…" Sakon stated. "Even if the brat is using his eyes, he's no match for Kimimaro's skill, speed and strength…"

"Hey… so what about that other brat the guy brought along…" Jirōbō asked as he looked to where Tenten, Zabuza, Shadow, and Scabbard stood, also watching intently. "Do you really think that they are actually going to put her up against Kimimaro too?"

"Yep." Tayuya nodded. "Those guys are crazy. Girlie there is screwed…"

"The Uchiha is doing something to his sword…" Sakon stated, pointing to where Sasuke was channeling both his fire and lightning chakra into his sword. "Never heard of someone doing two elements at once before unless it was a bloodline element…"

The group watched as the Uchiha and the Kaguya clashed blades again multiple times… before surprisingly enough, Kimimaro jumped back and looked at his bone/sword, which was charred and steaming from some points. Seconds later, he discarded the damaged bone and withdrew another from his shoulder without saying a word.

"Oi oi…" Sakon blinked. "Did that brat actually cause enough damage to Kimimaro's bone that he had to replace it?"

"Shit… that ain't right." Tayuya gaped. "Those things can even take a direct hit from Jirōbō's attacks without getting a crack…"

"Even when I lose control, I have trouble doing decent damage to them…" Jūgo added. "But for him to do it so easily…"

"Enough…" Scabbard's voice echoed throughout the room, causing everyone to look his way. "Sasuke. You're out. The sword you're using is at its limits. If you keep on fighting at that level, it's going to break in less than a dozen hits."

Sasuke grimaced and cut off his chakra flow, revealing that the sword he was using was partially melted and the metal was beginning to deform. Even though the standard weapons made by Scabbard were extremely durable and designed to conduct chakra easily, there were still built in limitations given the materials used to make it. Fire chakra naturally heats up and corrodes whatever it touches. Lightning chakra focuses its energy at single points and destabilizes the objects it flows through. While Scab's blades could handle flowing chakra of those natures without any problem by themselves, the combined detrimental effects of both elements, plus Sasuke's not exactly perfect chakra control, was enough to cause some serious damage to his weapon if the technique was held for extended periods of time. The boy had attempted to perfect the technique before, but he soon found out that buying practice swords by the dozen was pretty expensive, so for the moment, the Uchiha resigned himself to streaming both elements in his weapons at the same time only in extreme conditions.

Obviously, fighting Kimimaro qualified as extreme conditions.

"For the rest of your time here, you are forbidden from using Blaze Edge in your spars against Kimimaro." Scab continued. "Your goal is to beat him using sword techniques and finesse, not attempt to destroy his weapons."

Sasuke clicked his teeth in irritation as he managed to slide his sword back into its holster and walked back.

"Tenten. You're up." Scabbard stated to the clearly nervous girl next to him. Said chūnin took a few seconds to gather her nerves together before calming down and slowly walked forward.

"50 ryō says that bun-bun drops in the first 10 seconds." Tayuya chuckled.

"10?" Sakon laughed. "Aren't you being generous? That tiny kid won't even last 5…"

Jūgo laughed nervously. "Hey, I'm sure Kimimaro won't be that tough on her…"

The rest of the group looked at him like he was an idiot.

Jirōbō frowned slightly. "Hey guys… if that green haired guy brought her… wouldn't that mean that she would at least be interesting in some way?" He looked carefully. "She doesn't have a weapon… but she's supposed to be training against him…"

The group's ramblings were cut short as the girl raised a hand out and appeared to focus. _"I am the bone of my sword…"_ Her words echoed throughout the room as a brief flash erupted from her hands… to reveal a bone that looked exactly like the one Kimimaro was holding. A moment later, the girl was in the exact same stance as her now somewhat intrigued opponent…

"Well…" Tayuya gaped along with the boys she was standing with. "…That's new…"

Moments later, the younger girl and the older boy raced at each other with their bones raised… and danced. Each swipe they made flew through the air like a graceful bird, uninterrupted as their targets weaved around their path almost as if they did so to allow the weapon's grace to continue instead of doing so to not get hurt. Every once in a while, the tools did clash, only to deflect off each other in order to continue with the user's movement.

"Holy shit…" Tayuya swore as she watched in disbelief. "The girl is using Kimimaro's own technique against him! With a fucking bone of all things! It's like they're exact copies of the other!"

"No…" Sakon mused as he watched carefully, and saw Kimimaro cut his opponent lightly on her arm. "The girl's losing against him. She isn't as fast or as strong as he is…" He looked more carefully at the bones. "She's also using more chakra than he is. You can tell she's streaming water chakra into her weapon in order to try and keep up with Kimimaro. In addition to that, her copy looks like it has more damage than Kimimaro's bone. It looks like whatever technique she's using can't copy the original completely…" He paused as he saw the two slash at each other and miss repeatedly again. "… Though it is pretty damn close, if you ask me…"

"An interesting ability…" Kimimaro mused as he continued his dance of the Camilla before suddenly picking up his speed. In a single blur, he had disarmed his opponent and knocked her back hard. "However, you cannot compare to the original wielding it…" The bone wielder took a step forward before pausing and glancing at Scabbard warily.

Said green haired man did not move and only continued to watch the fight with unwavering eyes.

Taking that as a sign to continue, Kimimaro bolted to the interesting girl again, who had managed to get on her feet again and was glaring at him with focused eyes.

"Oi Kimimaro… are you really gonna continue?" Jūgo mused out loud. "She's already lost…"

"Well, that's game…" Tayuya sighed. "It was interesting while it lasted…"

Sakon frowned as he saw the girl swing back with her body as if she was holding something big. "Wait…"

" _Steel is my body… and fire is my blood…"_ The girl recited with absolute conviction before she swung just as Kimimaro got within striking distance of her.

A flash of light and a loud clanging sound later, Kimimaro was sent flying backward in the air before he landed nimbly. Looking up curiously, the pale teen saw that the girl had not moved from her spot and was breathing heavily… and in her hands was the massive dark blue tinted cleaver that she had used to knock him back. Looking at his bone weapon, he saw that she had actually managed to cause a sizeable gouge in its side. He would have to take this girl more seriously… He paused and looked at Scabbard's group again… or more importantly, Zabuza and the blue tinted cleaver on his back. "A technique that copies weapons, most likely the abilities that are built into them, and the original user's skills…" He mused as he readied himself again. "An interesting ability… though it does not completely copy everything…"

Tenten smirked tiredly as she rested the massive faked sword on her shoulder and focused her chakra. Very slowly a mist started to pour out of the pommel of the blade. "Sometimes, that's really all I need. Thank log I practiced this technique enough to use it with Lee." She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, and the mist thickened and the girl's figure faded from sight. "Suiton… Kirigakure…"

"So that's her power…" Zabuza mused quietly as their vision deteriorated. "No wonder you wanted her to check out my sword so much…"

Scabbard nodded. "A blacksmith's true advantage on the battlefield is that he knows how to use any tool he gets his hands on much better than any novice… he can tell how his opponent will try to attack him by looking at their weapons… and the strongest can even use the owner's special techniques just by holding it in their hands… because we are the ones who understand the nature of all weapons better than anyone else. We don't technically specialize in any specific kind of weapon… but then again, there are no weapons that we don't know how to use, either."

"Fakers are scary bastards to go up against." Shadow shivered. "I mean, you keep on hearing about these guys that possess these legendary swords and weapons of legends that can destroy villages and stuff with a single swing… which are pretty damn common if you think about it, but the thing about those guys is that they normally have only one sword each, so the moves they know are limited to what kind of sword they have. With the strongest fakers, one glimpse is all they need and they have another addition to their massive arsenal of apocalyptic weapons that they can bust out whenever they want... and another few dozen techniques to the near limitless catalog they can break out as well. Thank god they're harder to find than a pink doomsday weapon with hearts, ponies, and unicorns designed as various buttons and makes bubbly girlish noises whenever one of them is pressed that can also make hot chocolate…" She paused for a moment before tuning to her sibling expectantly with puppy dog eyes. "Hey Scaaaaab…?"

"No." The elder brother said bluntly without any hesitation before he paused, sighed, and shook his head. "She used up too much chakra…"

Zabuza blinked for a moment before noticing that the mist was clearing up, ignoring the pouting noises the woman next to him was making. "Huh… I guess that trick of hers takes a lot out of her… shame…"

"Kimimaro, Tenten. That's enough." Scabbard stated. "I have seen what I wanted. Rest for now. We'll talk about your performances after dinner."

There was a sound of shattering glass in the mist and some footsteps before the two came into view again, one completely exhausted and the other completely indifferent to the world. Kimimaro walked past them silently while Sasuke jogged up ahead to give Tenten a hand, giving both wary looks. They were soon followed by the rest of Orochimaru's ex-guard, who were all slightly unnerved, down the hallway, some talking, others not. Soon, it was just the adults left in the room.

"Well, that was entertaining." Shadow shrugged as she stretched and picked up a bag from her own shadow. "I'm going back to Konoha. Any longer in this hole in the ground and I really might go crazy. Later." She saluted the men before jumping into her own silhouette and disappearing completely.

"I'll never understand you guys…" The ex-ANBU sighed before going to get something to eat. "Tough luck with that brat apprentice of yours, Scab. It's too bad, but you know it's like everyone says, a fake can't beat the original…"

Suddenly, the air became thick with power, causing the larger man to freeze in his tracks. It was if thousands of eyes that he couldn't see had simply opened up and began to analyze his every move and how to exploit each twitch he made to contribute to his end. He didn't know why, but the Demon of the Mist knew for a fact that what he had just said was taboo for some reason.

"Zabuza…" Scabbard's voice replied stoically, sending a chill through the man's spine as quiet footsteps echoed in the hallway. "Let me tell you something interesting about swords that not many are aware of'…" He walked past the man without pausing before he turned a corner.

"All blades sing two songs…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere North:

"So what's Konoha's King like?" Michiru asked Naruto as the caravan traveled through the fairly cold landscape to the Land of Spring for the Daimyō's movie premiere.

"Well…" Naruto sighed as he leaned over the top of Michiru's carriage, keeping his senses open in case the caravan was ambushed. Other than a few groups of bandits, the mission had been pretty low key so far. "First of all, we don't have a king. We have something called a Hokage. All the major ninja villages have a kage, who are recognized by pretty much by everyone as the village's strongest, or at least one of the village's strongest ninja. In addition to strength, though, our leaders also have to prove that they have a level head, can manage responsibility, be willing to throw down your life to protect your home… you know, standard mass leadership qualifications." He stretched a bit and created another pair of clones without seals, one on each side of the caravan and had them bolt down the sides to make sure that everything was fine with the line. "So as for our current Hokage is concerned - she's our fifth, by the way - she's known as the world's strongest woman and one of the best medics alive today. I've seen her shatter cliffsides with a single punch." Both men shivered at that thought. "So, yeah. She's the granddaughter of our first Hokage, too. She's really strong and skilled… and still single… but she also has her faults. She loves to drink and gamble in her free time, and she has an illusion up to hide her real age, so even if she looks like she's in her late twenties, she's really over 50… If you value your life, you will never bring that up in front of her though."

"Y-you don't have to remind me… I once made a similar mistake with my mama…" The fat man whimpered.

"Oh?" Hikaru asked, looking up from his videogame. "Are you talking about the time grandma wouldn't talk to you for a month and wouldn't make you any food for the big family meals?"

"Kid. Remember this now so you don't get killed later. Never piss off a woman. Ever." Naruto laughed, clearly amused by his client's distress.

"That's good advice…" Michiru nodded with a deep sigh as he clearly thought about something important to him. "The only problem is that sometimes you don't know what angers them in the first place…"

The three were quiet for several seconds before Hikaru spoke up again. "So you said that your current leader was the granddaughter of the first one. Does that mean she inherited it?"

Naruto shook his head. "No. Like I said before she got it because she's strong and has a good head on her shoulders. Technically being the First's granddaughter helped, 'cause it meant she came from noble blood and it helped with her training in general, but no one gets the title of Kage without working your butt off for it and then some." The blonde smirked. "I should know. I'm trying to become the Hokage after the old hag. Heheheh."

The father son combo blinked for a moment before looking at their guard. "Eh? So you're really strong? But you're so young." Michiru asked curiously, his previous depression gone.

The blonde grinned, showing his elongated teeth and flashed his eyes a small amount. "There's a reason why I'm in charge of our group, Michiru-dono…" Within moments of that declaration, however, his face fell into a serious frown as he turned to a lake the group was passing. "I would suggest you stay in the carriage…" He growled as he turned on his radio set. "Hinata, Kiba, Neji. You guys get that from the lake?"

"I'm still at the back of the caravan." Neji's voice replied. "We haven't reached a point where I can see far into the lake yet… but I do detect some chakra signatures outside of my range, now that I am looking there…"

"They're probably hiding in the water. Akamaru and I can barely make out any scents at this distance. Same goes for chakra signatures… but from what I can get, it can't be more than just one team… two tops, and none of them seem to be stronger than a special jōnin at the most…" Kiba reported in a serious tone.

"I see four signatures in the lake." Hinata stated with finality. "They're closest to Kiba's team, but they haven't made any movements yet, and their chakra is being kept at low levels…"

"That explains why I didn't detect them at first. Spread your senses." Naruto ordered, following his own advice before making more clones to support his friends if needed. "Any signs of a second group hiding elsewhere? They could be hiding underground."

There was a brief pause.

"Nothing." Neji state.

"We got zip." Kiba added, Akamaru barking in the background in agreement.

"It seems they are the only ones, Naruto-kun." Hinata sighed.

"Should we take them out?" Kin's voice asked through the radio waves.

"They might not be here for us." Naruto replied. "If we attack a squad of shinobi from another village for no reason, we could land ourselves in deep shit. I just sent clones to everyone. They'll serve as backup and as a warning to the other team that we know they're there. If they're here for us, they'll make a move soon or back off. If not, then we'll just be on higher alert for a while…" He paused and thought for a moment. "Hinata, Neji. Keep an eye on the group even if they don't do anything. Try and make sure that they aren't here for us from how they move. Kiba, keep your and Akamaru's noses out for any other groups nearby. Just because you didn't detect anything doesn't mean they aren't there."

"Got it." Replied the rest of the teams.

The caravan traveled in tense silence other than the sounds of the moving carriages and the shuffling of the large amount of shadow clones running along the side, leaving one or two to each carriage. The clones had made it a little bit past Hinata's section when all the shinobi there felt a massive flux of chakra coming from the lake and the surface began to distort.

"Naruto-kun!" Hinata yelled seriously.

"I know!" The blonde yelled as he and the clones focused their chakra to prepare for what was coming. "Can you tell what kind of technique they're going to use?"

"It's a water technique!" Neji replied. "And from the way their chakras are gatheringing, it's a collaboration one too!"

"Son of a bitch!" Ino swore. "We should have taken them out when we had the element of surprise!"

"Here it comes!" Kiba yelled as the lake's surface distorted and rose to a large height before spreading out and barreling down onto the entire length of the caravan in the form of a massive wave.

"I got it!" Naruto yelled as his clones got into position and made some seals all at the same time.

"Earth Style! Grand Earth Wall!" All the clones roared as they slammed their feet on the ground, causing a massive barrier longer than the caravan to erupt from the ground between the group and the oncoming attack. A second later, the wall and the wave collided, shaking everyone and everything behind them. Everyone was left unharmed, though there was some water that came around the edges and got the horses a bit wet. "Hinata! Neji! Where are they?!" Naruto barked out seriously, knowing that his opponents could easily close in on their group faster and easier now that the water level had risen.

"They haven't moved yet…" Neji stated tersely. "It looks like they are contemplating whether or not to continue their assault after you managed to defend against that attack…" He laughed humorlessly. "… After all, it's not every day a shinobi encounters another one that is able to defend a target as large as our caravan against an attack like that…"

"I don't swing that way, Neji… but I appreciate the attempt." Naruto snorted as he stood up. "I'm going after them to try and find out why they attacked us and where they're from. We're splitting the guard into 3 sections. Hinata-chan and Lee are protecting the Prince. Sai's group has the middle and Neji's has the rear. If we lose radio contact, then I'll use my clones as communication. If the clones all disappear at once, then something's gone wrong, but I'll try not to get in over my head…" The blonde made and popped a clone, sending a message to the ones he had made earlier to cluster around his friends and for the ones nearby to protect Michiru's carriage until everyone was in place.

"Would it not be wise to take someone with you, captain?" Sai's voice asked as Naruto stretched and began to breathe slowly.

"I don't want to weaken the caravan's defenses any more than I am already leaving it." Naruto stated bluntly. "Plus, I've it beaten into my head that I should run if I'm up against something I can't handle… but I'm the only one that can handle that many opponents of that level at once and still get away in decent shape if something goes wrong."

"He's right…" Hinata stated almost reluctantly. "Lee and I are already on our way. The shinobi are still not moving. They are close to the middle of the lake, near Kiba's section still, but leaning to mine. Be careful. You can't use any of your earth techniques while on the lake."

"Got it." The blonde grinned before jumping on top of the wall and turned to the driver. "Keep on going ahead! Get as far away from the lake as you can!"

Without even waiting for a response, the blonde bolted to the water and extended his senses. The second he landed on the water's surface, he used his heightened chakra control to skate rapidly to where he detected some signatures… though they felt off and familiar for some reason.

His musings were cut short as several massive blasts of water shot towards him. Despite the speed the two forces were travelling at, the blonde had no trouble weaving in and around the attacks without losing any speed thanks to his agility training and his dashing skills.

His smirk flickered slightly, though, as a much larger version of the water blasts charged straight towards him…

Boom!

The area where the blonde had been charging through exploded in a plume of water.

"Did we get him?" Asked one of the masked men standing on the other side of the attack.

"Should have. That attack doesn't go off unless it hits something after all." Muttered a woman dressed in similar garb. "Stupid brat actually tried to go after us alone…"

"Said stupid brat made a wall to defend a caravan over half a kilometer long." Growled an older sounding man. "Keep your guard up. Anyone with enough power to do something like that would never be taken out that easily…"

"You're worrying too much." Snorted the fourth member of the group, another woman who seemed younger than the rest who pointed to the water where the black and orange clad boy was floating face first, obviously unconscious. "See? Kid's completely out of it."

As if on cue, a pair of pink tongues shot out of the water and wrapped themselves around the speaker and pulled her down almost instantly.

"Shit!" The eldest of the group yelled as he jumped back away from where the sneak attack had just taken place. Glaring at the body as he landed, he threw a kunai at it, causing the cadaver to explode in a cloud of smoke. "I should have known… it was a clone! He's still alive!"

The area where they were standing suddenly exploded, drenching the attackers and spreading them out more. Their vision cleared to show the boy standing on top of a toad the size of a small building with his arms crossed and glaring at the group. "I have to tell you guys, when a mission I take normally goes nuts, it typically involves ninja from the place I'm being hired from." His eyes flashed dangerously. "What the hell are ninja from the old Land of Snow doing attacking my caravan… with chakra armor for that matter?"

"How the fuck do you know of our chakra armor, brat?" Roared the other female of the group as she stood in a defensive position.

"Give us back our teammate and we may let you live, kid." Growled the younger man.

The eldest ninja's eyes widened as he got a good look at the boy. "You… it can't be… you're the brat that killed Dotō! What the hell are you doing here?"

The remaining two attackers looked at their leader in shock as Naruto smirked. "Oh? So I'm actually remembered, eh? I was half way expecting for Kakashi-sensei to get all the credit for that… before the movie, of course." He saw that there was some twitches from his opponents when he brought up the film. "Your friend is still alive, so I'll give you guys an offer. You tell me what you were doing attacking my client, and I won't have my friends torture her for information." He sighed. "Just to let you know, one of them is trained by one the best members of Konoha's I/T department… so we'll get what we want, one way or another…"

"What the?" The woman shouted confused. "You're telling me the rumors of Dotō getting offed by a kid were true? I thought they were just the ramblings of the guys that were hit too hard by that massive wind technique that took down the blimp!"

"Who do you think took down the blimp in the first place?" The eldest growled looking at the boy. "I remember that blonde hair and blue eyes anywhere. Konoha's Feral Gale…"

There was a tense silence for silence for several seconds before Naruto began to cry and get stars in his eyes. "That… was so awesome…" He wept tears of joy. "Someone I don't know called me by my nickname as if I was someone dangerous for the first time… I never thought I'd ever see this happen…" He looked up to the sky. "Ero-Sennin! Kakashi-sensei! I did it! I finally did it! All that training, blood sweat and tears! All the humiliation I had to go through! All the cow bombings and running from mobs of angry women covered in their underwear! It finally paid off!" He turned to the slightly unnerved leader with puppydog eyes. "Thank you. You don't know how happy you've made me… I'll treasure this moment for the rest of my life…"

" **Naruto… I think we have more important things to worry about at the moment…"** The summon sweatdropped.

"What are we so worried about?" The remaining kunoichi growled as she began to make some seals. "We still outnumber the brat and we have our armor! How the hell can he beat us by himself?"

As if in response, another Naruto shot out of the water behind the woman with a Rasengan in hand and plowed through her armor, launching the shocked opponent across the lake and smashing her into the wall he had made earlier.

"Easy." The clone grinned as slowly hundreds of clones appeared from underneath the water and stood on the surface, many of whom had their own Rasengan in hand. "I'll just do what I did to get through Dotō's armor. I'm fairly certain that your armor is nowhere near as much of a bitch to get through than his was."

"H-How… the hell?" The younger of the remaining two shinobi stammered as he looked around himself in shock. "Genjutsu?"

"It's real, dumbass… we're beat." The leader grunted as he glared at the smirking blonde on the toad. "I don't suppose that first option of yours is still open?"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Well, then. Since half of you have been away from the village for a good while, I think it would be best to give you four a mission in the village." Tsunade smiled as she took out a scroll and tossed it to Shikamaru. "It's a standard patrol duty mission set for some of the main roads that lead to the village. It's fairly simple and self-explanatory. You ensure the safety of those coming and leaving the village, as well as supplies and exports. You get up early, replace the late night shift and keep on working till you are replaced in the mid-afternoon. This mission is ranked as B-rank and normally lasts about 3 months per session with one day off per week which you will indicate so that ANBU can cover for that day, which is standard procedure. Shikamaru is in command. Any questions?"

"No, Hokage-sama." Chōji, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Shino replied at once.

"Good." The busty woman nodded. "Then you are dismissed…" She paused. "Oh and Shino, a word?"

The group paused for a moment before the rest walked out of the room and closed the door behind them. "I suppose this is what I was informed about last week, Hokage-sama?"

Tsunade smirked. "What do you think? We have to know who's in the know about our situation, you know. It would be pretty irresponsible if we didn't."

"Understandable." Shino nodded. "I do not blame you for your conduct if your explanation is true… though it is still rather difficult to comprehend at times…"

"The 'time-travel' part, or 'the fact that the Ōgakari were responsible for it' part?" The elder woman smirked.

The boy remained quiet for several moments before voicing his opinion. "… The part where we are actually dealing with beings that put absolutely everything we know and can do to utter shame should we try to go against them, in addition to the alterations of the mental states of people close to me… it is unsettling."

The Hokage blinked for a moment before sighing deeply. "I see… your concerns are indeed significant… but at this point, they have done nothing to warrant our skepticism. Given the situation before their arrival, I believe that we are so far much better off than we once were. You don't worry about this at all unless we bring something up. We're still the same people we were before… we just know more than we should… and in Naruto's case, he's actually tolerable to be around now. He hasn't farted in Kiba's face once since we came back."

Shino's glasses flashed. "…When you put it that way… I am surprisingly content with our current situation…"

o. o. o.

The North:

"Sai's back." Hinata said as the group sat around their campfire and ate their dinner quietly, contemplating the information that they had received earlier.

"Good." Naruto grunted as a large black and white bird approached them from direction they had all come from. "We can talk when he lands."

Less than a minute later, the large ink construct landed on the ground near the teens and melted into a black blob, leaving the pale boy standing in front of it, albeit he looked a bit more flushed than normal. Apparently his constructs took a bit more chakra than expected to maintain over longer distances. "ANBU picked them up without issue. They offered no resistance." He turned to Naruto. "I still stand by my suggestion that we should have kept their chakra armor instead of destroying it. The village could have benefitted from that technology."

Naruto frowned. "We already have a set in R/D, Sai. What you are forgetting is that if we gave everyone in the village that armor, the other villages would feel threatened by us and join forces to make sure we didn't get too powerful. Besides, from what the old hag has told me, the technology behind it is beyond us right now, so even if we wanted to make our own, we can't…"

 _'Well, Scab could probably make them by the dozen within a day…'_ Naruto mentally commented. ' _… But knowing him, he would just torch the thing and claim that he had made better designs already…'_

Neji nodded. "We should focus talking about how we should approach things… let's go over what we know of the situation so far."

"The enemy is the remnants of the previous Daimyō of Snow country's forces." Ino stated in an all business manner. "They don't agree with the new Daimyō's demilitarization policies and think it will ruin their country, leaving it defenseless when its neighbors come and invade. Financially, they are backed by several of the local lords from Dotō's reign that somehow managed to maintain their power or wealth, sometimes both. They possess advanced chakra armor that enhances their chakra, genjutsu and ninjutsu abilities while projecting an invisible shield that protects them from most low and mid-level attacks as well as most basic weaponry. Their current numbers are suspected to be roughly around 200 shinobi, but they could easily be higher. Right now, their current strategy is to attack and deter many of the noblemen coming into Spring country for the upcoming movie/documentary of its liberation in an attempt to discredit her, and her rule and rise to power…" She deadpanned at Naruto. "Apparently, Naruto here had a huge part to play in it, if we can believe what those guys were saying."

"Focus, Ino." Neji growled. "We can blame Naruto for this after we figure a way out of our current situation safely."

The blonde girl rolled her eyes. "Fine. So from what I can tell, we are about half a week from the capital of spring country where the premiere is being held, which is roughly another half a week after we get there. Should it continue despite the enemy's efforts, they're planning on attacking the premiere with half their forces and using the other half to strike key positions around the city, holding the Daimyō, all the nobles there, and many others hostage until their demands are met." She frowned. "Normally, we would keep away from things like this unless we were hired to intervene, but apparently Spring has recently signed an alliance treaty with the Land of Fire, so it would look bad for Konoha if we left things the way they were…"

"Are you certain that this information is accurate?" Sai asked in a curious tone. "The leader could have easily been holding something back…"

"I am certain." Neji frowned. "I am better practiced at reading people than most people in my clan. Only someone with incredible levels of self-control… or an Ōgakari is able to get a lie or information past me. If something is different, it is because the ones we interrogated were misinformed." The boy added that second group of people hesitantly, almost ashamed of his inability to read the minds of a family that mainly consisted of immature psychopaths.

"The Prince won't change his mind about going, either." Naruto grunted. "The way he sees it, I did such a good job of taking down that team of ninja that, combined with Koyuki-hime's guard, we can handle anything that comes their way. We can't simply knock him out and hold up either since that wouldn't give people a good impression of how we do things."

Kiba curiously looked at his leader. "Oi, what's eating you? Normally you would be jumping at the chance to do something ridiculously dangerous."

"Not when there's a damn good chance things could end up like the Chūnin Exam or worse. The scale is too big, even for me." Naruto shot back before scratching his head in frustration. "Damn it. This kind of thing is Shikamaru's specialty…" He let out a slow breath before glancing at his team. This wasn't the time to freak out. There was plenty of time to come up with a plan. "Ideas." He said. It wasn't a question, it was an order.

"The government there should have heard of this by now." Kin added. "We could simply tell them what we know and compare notes…"

"That's only a first step…" Hinata said. "The enemy's forces are all shinobi, and we have to assume that a good number of them, if not all of them, have chakra armor. It is unlikely that the Daimyō's forces will be able to hold them all off even with our help… we also have to remember the possibility of spies and traitors in the Daimyō's inner circle…" She looked at Naruto. "Should we send someone ahead to the Daimyō to tell her what we know?"

Naruto shook his head. "No. It would only let the enemy know that we know something's up once they find out that the messenger is part of the Prince's guard and they would change their plans, reducing what little we know already to jack shit."

"What if we focus our forces on the most important targets?" Lee asked. "Even if we lost some of the other positions, we would still manage to take down the rest of the forces and hold the positions long enough to dissuade the rest of them…"

"Still not solid enough." Naruto sighed. "We can use it as a backup plan, but we need something more complete. Until we know how many potential targets there are and their locations, we won't be able to determine how to spread out the forces. You have to remember that we also have the Prince to guard in the meantime."

"I can send a message back to Konoha to get backup in advance." Sai offered. "I'm certain that my message transportation jutsu can last long enough to get back to the Hokage."

Naruto grimaced. "Yeah, but who can actually get here in time? Spring country is at least two weeks away on foot. The only ones who could make it on time would be Gai, Ero-Sennin… and…" He paused before putting his head in his hands. "…The Ōgakari…"

"I feel safer without one of them around." Ino shivered. "Can't you just spam your clones?"

"And risk the enemy using some kind of emergency contingency mass genocide plan? No thank you. Pumping out absurd numbers of clones is a last resort when we are fighting an unmarked force hidden among even more civilians." Naruto frowned. "Okay. We're thinking about this the wrong way. We. Are. Ninja. Let's think of stuff that has to do with sneaky shit that we're famous for…" He breathed deeply again. "First test of the Chūnin Exams, followed by the setup of the invasion. We are going in blind… all or nothing…" He grinned.

"But before the exam ends, we're gonna cheat the living shit out of the system and steal everything we need. No backup from home. No complex initial strategies. Half of us run around town and steal any info we want while the others protect the Prince. We alternate teams of four between day and night, adjusting to the guy's schedule." He put on an insane smile. "The morning of the premiere, we tell the Daimyō all about what we found, and organize the forces in a way that will catch the enemy butt fucking naked. Anything else, we improvise into the final plan." He looked around. "Sound good?"

The rest of the teens looked at each other nervously for what seemed like half an hour before Neji sighed and dropped his head. "I hate it when you're like this. It's completely reckless, but at the moment it's our best shot at keeping innocent casualties to a minimum."

"When I agreed to this mission… I didn't expect our tracking and I/T abilities to be used to this extent… damn it Naruto, you weren't kidding when you said missions you go on get nuts." Kiba smirked. "Sounds fun. I'm in."

"We have two Hyūga, a Yamanaka, an Inuzuka, a speed nut that is unnaturally good at the silent assassination technique, a guy that can draw countless mice that can get in anywhere, and a hyper idiot that can make a village's worth of shadow clones that can look like anyone in addition to a ridiculous sensory skill." Ino listed off the abilities of everyone there progressively increasing her grin. "If we don't know their plans inside and out in a week, we should be dropped from the damn system." She paused. "Uh… sorry Kin, but I don't really know what you can do…"

"I was trained in sound based techniques back in Oto." Kin deadpanned. "My hearing is better than Zabuza's. I copied my answers in the first exam by listening to the pencil scratches of a guy two rows away from me."

"Sold!" The Yamanaka roared.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Waltz sighed as he sat on the park bench that he was commonly found at and overlooked the playground. He had not been getting decent sleep lately and occasionally the children that came to talk to him were taken away by their concerned parents. No doubt his… relapse… in the academy during the prison break had been made known by the various circles in the village by now… not that he could blame the people there for their reactions, of course, but it still hurt…

The image of a massive frozen crater by an ocean clouded his mind… the location of which had not even two minutes earlier had been occupied with a large and thriving city... not even the rubble of the buildings remained, and the only hint of its previous condition were the occasional pipes jutting out of the tundra. What he would wish to be young again… if only so he could get a better chance to get over his own troubled history…

"Old man? Is something wrong?" Hanabi asked from next to him. "You look sad…"

"Ah…" The immortal blinked as he remembered he wasn't alone. "Sorry, young one. I've just been a bit busy lately…"

The girl pouted slightly, not believing his reply. "Is this about Yoshi's mom taking him away from you like that? She really shouldn't have said those things about you…"

Waltz chuckled lightly as he remembered that particular incident. The boy, who was a classmate of Hanabi's, was practically dragged away from him in the park a few days beforehand by his rather vocal civilian mother. From what he could tell, she did not think too highly of shinobi in general other than the Hokage and several other ranking members in the village society. There was little doubt in the man's mind that the boy's family either came from 'noble' blood or at least from a very successful merchant background. "Don't worry, Hanabi. I can take a few mean words every now and then from angry mothers." He smiled bitterly. "I've been called worse…"

" _Devil incarnate…"_

" _Plague of humanity…"_

" _He bathes himself in the remains of every one of his victims…"_

" _Monster…"_

" _Murderer…murderer… MURDERER…"_

"… _YOU KILLED EVERYONE I CARED ABOUT FOR NO REASON, YOU INHUMAN BASTARD!"_

"… Far… far worse…" Sighed the tired old man as he rubbed the bridge of his nose.

" _Why? …Why my daughter? She was only a child… what could she have done to deserve this? ANSWER ME, DAMN YOU! WHY?"_

"Is this about what happened at the academy?" Hanabi asked concerned, easily able to tell that something was wrong. "I heard from some people that you killed the guys that were after me in a really scary way…"

The immortal snorted. "That's one way of putting it…" He grunted before turning to the girl and looked into her confused and worried eyes. Even though they were pale in color, they shone with the life and energy only an innocent child could have...

… It was the only thing he valued more than his relationship with his family…

"Don't worry, little one." Waltz smiled gently and patted the girl on her head. "It just has something to do with something that happened to me a long time ago. Old people stuff. You get enough of that at home. I don't want to bore you anymore than you already get there…"

"Fine…" Hanabi huffed, relenting and agreeing that home was boring since Neji and Hinata left. "But you seemed really sad. I just wanted to help. Those stupid adults don't know who they're talking to when they yell at you…" She looked at him and smiled. "You did kill those guys, but it was to save me and my friends. I can't be mad at you for that." She shrugged. "Besides, the way people react when they see you tells me that you're really strong, and I think it's cool that you are… even if you are really old, say weird things, and smell funny…"

Waltz blinked several times before chuckling deeply… and soon bursting out in full blown laughter. His deep voice carried for a long distance, causing several people to look at them from a long way away. "Ah!" The man grinned happily before patting the girl roughly on the shoulders. "Ah, how I needed that! A laugh truly is the best cure for all things. Thank you Hanabi. I really did need that…"

"O-okay…" She stammered between the jarring pats she was receiving. "I don't know why I made you laugh, but you seem happier…"

"That felt good." Grinned the old medic. "Hanabi. When you get older, never forget that there are places like this. Just sit down, look at everything here and relax. Everything is peaceful, calm…"

Boom!

A black and red shape flew across the air from the other side of town and dropped into a nearby training area. Seconds later, a roaring silver, pink and black blur raced across the sky after it.

"And Shadow is back in town to ruin my peace of mind and sanity by attempting to murder Crypt in public!" The old man concluded with a more strained grin on his face and a rampantly twitching eyebrow before dropping his head comically. "Why me?" He sighed before lightly tapping his staff on the ground. Instantly, water pooled from the earth and formed into a wide flat hexagon crystal which the maker stepped on without hesitation. "… Might as well stop them from doing any more property damage… otherwise Scab will find some way to pin this on me…" He muttered to himself as the platform rose off the ground and he began to float to where the most unstable members of his family were having "fun" before pausing… "Hanabi…" The old man sighed in a surprisingly tired and old voice, immediately catching the girl's attention.

"O-old man? What is it?" The girl stammered, not used to seeing the giant of all people sound so weak. Too weak in her opinion… it made things seem almost unnatural…

"… I've done things in my past… terrible… horrible things… things would make you never want to even look at me if you ever found out. I am far from proud of what I have done… and I can say without a doubt that they will haunt me till the day I die. I still cry myself to sleep sometimes because I am honestly so scared of myself and what I am capable of doing… and what I have done…" He let out a long haggard breath. "You're training to be a ninja… so let me give you some advice from someone who has lived far… far longer than he deserves. There will be times where you will find yourself regretting your past… your actions… your decisions… your friends… your life... even yourself… You will question everything about yourself… and if you let that continue you will without a doubt eventually fail everyone and everything around you…"

Hanabi wasn't using her eyes, but she was fairly certain that the old man was crying in front of her. She knew for a fact that she would remember this moment word for word.

"When those times come… and have no doubt in your mind they will come at some point… these two things will be your best chance at helping you remember who you are and set you straight again…" The Ōgakari continued. "The first is the people close to you. Friends. Family. Loved ones. Do not push them away… just the opposite. Hold onto them and don't let go. Use a full nelson or grab them in a bear hold if you have to in order to get your point across. Do not hide your emotions from them. They will help and support you in your roughest times. The bonds you share with them cannot be broken by anything other than an act of the first god or the oldest devil itself…"

It may have been the sun playing tricks on her… but Hanabi could have sworn that the massive half-tear shaped sword on Waltz's back shimmered for a moment at that statement…

"The second thing you want to remember… is this spot, Hanabi." The old man smiled gently. "Should you find yourself alone… sit on this cheap wooden bench on a on a sunny weekend afternoon… and watch everything around you. It may not make sense now, but…" He chuckled as he floated away. "…Well, it's just one of those things you get to understand when you get older that us old geezers enjoy not telling you about when you're your age… now if you'll excuse me…" He tapped his staff on his platform again, and a large sphere of water the size of a small house rose from the lake and hovered to the man. "I have to remind a certain woman and a certain dragon why they should tell me they are back before they start making chaos in our home village…"

Hanabi gulped as the man and the giant water ball disappeared over the buildings. She would stay in that spot for another good hour contemplating both what the old man had said… and what the hell he was doing to his family members to make explosions that loud…

o. o. o.

North Again:

"Ehhh? It's so beautiful here! Look at all the flowers!" Ino squealed in awe as the carriage carrying the Prince passed by the Daimyō's gardens. The main palace was situated on one of the cliffs that overlooked the rainbow glaciers.

"It is…" Hinata sighed happily. "Even though I hate to admit it, this is even more soothing than my mother's part of the Hyūga's garden…"

Akamaru barked contently on top of Kiba's head. "Same here, buddy." Kiba grinned. "There are a lot of good scents here."

"Captain. How are you faring?" Sai asked Naruto curiously.

"I don't know if you can't tell already, but I hate this freaking mask." The blonde growled as he tried to get used to the ski mask he was wearing to hide his identity. Because the shinobi he beat had recognized him, everyone agreed that it was best that he at least hide his hair and whisker marks from the public. "It's stuffy as hell in this thing and my face itches!"

"Sorry whiskers, but it's the only thing we have that will do the job right." Kin shrugged. "You have a hood, but those things get blown back way too easily, even with your powers keeping it down."

"Give me three days." Grumbled the blonde. "Hoods are way cooler than freaking ski masks…" He paused before flailing around again. "Garg! ITCHYYY!"

Hikaru deadpanned as he stuck his head out the window to Hinata. "Hey… is he really that famous here that he has to wear that mask? Even if he did beat those guys earlier, I don't see how he could be that important…"

Hinata smiled and laughed lightly. "Well… I don't know much myself, but when we were interrogating the prisoners earlier, they were extremely wary of him for what he did on a previous mission, so we are just taking a necessary precaution. It would be best if you didn't talk about or to us in public here for your safety, Hikaru. Just in case…"

The boy looked at Hinata skeptically for a moment before sighing and turning on his game again. "Stupid…" He muttered almost inaudibly as the group stopped in front of the Daimyō's mansion where several guards were there to welcome the Prince.

"Neji, Kiba, Sai." Naruto said plainly as he jumped off the carriage and landed near Michiru who was talking to one of the guards. The mentioned people followed right behind him, knowing that they were the team Naruto decided to protect the Prince as they went into the mansion, in addition to keeping their eyes, noses and other senses out to try and pick out any potential spies and or leads. The remaining four were tasked with making sure nothing happened to the Prince's ride.

The guards welcomed the fat man and his son and walked him to the main entrance… where Sandayū stood there waiting for them. "Ah, the Prince of Moon Country. Welcome. I am Sandayū, the Daimyō's advisor…" The aging man greeted the Prince happily as he bowed respectfully. "I hope your trip here was pleasant…"

The ninja there could easily tell the hidden worry in that question as the Prince laughed. "Oh don't worry about me, Sandayū. You have probably heard of the size of my caravan already if you haven't seen it. A few bandits here and there are nothing to worry about, especially with the guard from Konoha I hired. They may be young, but they are very surprising and strong. Isn't that right, Naruto?"

The old man blinked several times, no doubt in an effort to process what the Prince had just said. "Naruto?"

The blonde wasted no time walking up and bowing to Sandayū. "It is a pleasure to meet you, sir. I hope our presence here won't cause you any trouble…" As the boy rose again and made eye contact with his old ally, he made his eyes glow and made eye contact with him, winking in the process.

"Ah… of course. You being here will be no problem at all… it is a pleasure to meet you too…" The old man stumbled on his words for a moment before laughing sheepishly to the Prince. "Come, the lady is very busy lately with her upcoming film… among other things, so time is rather valuable to us…"

"Oooh!" Michiru squealed like a small child before turning to his son. "Can you believe it Hikaru? We get to meet Princess Fūin face to face!"

"You know that old geezer?" Kiba mumbled to Naruto as the ninja followed the group into the main building.

"He was the one who hired me on that last mission." Naruto whispered back. "He's on our side or Ero-Sennin is gay."

"Good enough…" Neji sighed as he bowed his head a little to hide the fact that his eyes were active. "Two ninja hiding in what looks like to be the Daimyō's room… most likely her guard, since she appears to be in there as well. There aren't any other strong chakra signatures in the building. I'll try to find anyone who is acting suspicious…"

"My mice have infiltrated the compound. I shall let you know if I discover anything." Sai nodded, focusing on the two dozen ink mice he had snuck in before the carriage had even stopped.

"I got nothing." Kiba added in.

Naruto nodded as the group entered the doors to Koyuki's office to see the woman sitting at her desk and doing some paperwork. The woman was obviously tired from the work she was doing… but in Naruto's personal opinion, she still looked better this way than when she was a whiney bitch several months earlier.

"Hn?" The woman looked up as the doors opened. "Ah! Right! The Prince of Moon country! I apologize for my appearance, but well…" She laughed nervously. "Changing a country's government from a previous tyrannical military rule is a lot harder than you'd think…"

 _'Preaching to the choir, lady.'_ Naruto deadpanned as the fat man he was guarding squealed like he was his son's age.

"Ah! It's really Princess Fūin in the flesh! I'm such a fan!" Michiru awed as he went on, obviously not paying attention to Koyuki's momentary exasperated expression and rolling of her eyes before she put a very believable calm expression on her face. Obviously, this wasn't the first time she had been greeted this way

"Ah… yes… I suppose I am better known for my movies…" She laughed in a somewhat forced manner. "If you want, I can give you an autograph later…" She paused before looking at Hikaru who was looking back at her with wide eyes. "Is this your son? He's very cute. What's your name?"

"Ah…" The boy stumbled on his words, obviously not expecting for the woman to focus on him so quickly. "H-Hikaru, ma'am."

"Hikaru… a good name." The woman grinned before she noticed the archery kit on his back. "A bow and arrows? Are you good?"

The boy nodded, this time a bit more lively. "Yeah… my grandpa got the bow for me and a lot of the guards back home say I'm gifted with it…"

"I'll take your word for it. Just make sure to protect those close to you with it, okay?" The actress asked as she patted the boy on his head before turning to his father again. "I trust your trip was uneventful?" She asked in a curious tone that was far more convincing, but the ninja there could still tell there was hidden concern in her question.

Michiru waved his hand in front of his face. "Oh no. My guards are very good. I'm surprised my caravan has encountered as many bandit attacks as it has without getting as much as a scratch…" He grinned. "… Although they do worry a bit too much about what I should do from time to time…"

"You guys are from Konoha huh?" Koyuki mused as she looked at the boys with interest. "I've had some good history with ninja from your village…" She paused as she made eye contact with Naruto. Like with Sandayū, he made his eyes glow and winked before bowing.

"I'm glad to hear that, Kazehana-dono. It would be rather concerning if you said the opposite." The blonde said politely, causing the woman to gape, twitch and point at him silently for a good half a minute.

"She so knows it's him… and he so did that on purpose." Kiba deadpanned.

"What was your first hint?" Neji replied, his eyebrow twitching. He had turned off his eyes just before he entered the room. He didn't want to instigate the ninja in there by acting suspicious… though at the moment, he doubted the need for subtlety was imminent.

"I believe it was her initial reaction when she looked into his eyes." Sai answered, not getting the joke.

"Bu… yo… wh…ho…whe…" The woman stammered before noticing that the boy seemed to be grinning widely underneath his mask. "… I see…" She frowned immediately before rubbing her temple before regaining her composure. "I hope you continue to do your job as you have so far, shinobi. I've heard that some dangerous things happen outside the guarded main roads…"

"The city can be just as dangerous…" The boy shrugged. "My teacher is an assassination expert, so he knows these kinds of things."

"I'll keep that in mind." The woman frowned before turning to the Prince again. "How long do you plan on staying here, Michiru-dono?"

The ninja began to tune out the conversation somewhat as they expanded their senses to try and pick up anything around them, including information about the hidden ninja in the room. They didn't say anything, as it would be stupid to tip off a potential enemy, but they were all somewhat unnerved that they couldn't get anything, which was creepy since three were natural sensor types and one was trained by ROOT… albeit they weren't pushing much chakra into their abilities, but even so, they should have gotten something by now…

 _'This kind of stealth…'_ Naruto mused as he tried to feel out the locations of his watchers. ' _And the way my chakra in the air is moving… it can't be…'_

Kiba was stuck between three hard places. He would not admit it much, but he was a pretty big fan of Koyuki's movies… and the actress herself. Between the urge to ask her for an autograph, making sure nothing would try to kill his easy to target charge, and smell if anything was off in the room, his frustrations were starting to get the better of him.

"I see…" The woman sighed. "Two weeks is a bit much compared to the other daimyos and nobles arriving, but I suppose your prolonged excursions in my home will provide a further boon to our economy. I'll lend you a guide to show you where you will be staying and where the sights are…" She paused and looked at the shinobi guarding the man again briefly. "Is that all for now?"

Naruto got the hint as he stepped forward. "Kazehana-dono, I would like to speak to you a little more about the security of your village to ensure that my client is well protected during his stay here. Is should not take that long." He turned to Michiru. "I will get back to you soon, but I believe that this is important to fulfilling my duties."

The fat man nodded. "Of course, Naruto. Take your time! You're in the presence of a famous movie star after all!" He turned to leave. "Come on, Hikaru! If we can get everything in place, we might have enough time to see the rainbow glaciers reflect the sunset! I heard it's as beautiful as the fields here!"

Kiba rolled his eyes as he, Neji, and Sai followed their childish charge back outside, leaving Naruto alone inside with Koyuki.

The two looked at each other quietly for several seconds before they both smirked. "Nice mask." Koyuki sniggered. "It's an improvement."

"Funny. I was just about to tell you to hire your makeup crew again." The blonde countered without missing a beat as he took off the mask. "Itchy evil contraption of itchiness. No wonder ninja who wear these things always go work for psychopaths and do the bad missions…"

"Well, at least I really know it's you…" The woman sighed with a twitching eyebrow. "No hesitation or sanity whatsoever… I almost thought it wasn't you from the way you were speaking. If you can't make it as a ninja, you could always join me in acting."

Naruto smirked. "Sorry to disappoint you, but those four chūnin with chakra armor would be more than willing to attest to how I kicked their asses in under a minute."

The actress' face hardened immediately. "I thought as much. Despite the fact that you act like a complete idiot, you are rather sharp when the time comes. You want to compare notes and plan accordingly, right?"

"Yeah. Including me, there's eight of us here protecting the Prince, and all of us have useful information gathering skills." Naruto nodded. "We're alternating between two shifts in groups of four. One team guards, and the other splits their time between resting and gathering information. If you can point out any places of interest later, that would help a lot."

"Well, well." Koyuki smirked in a faked impressed tone. "It seems there is a brain there after all. And her I thought there was nothing in your skull other than ramen, explosions, and chaotic stupidity."

"You forgot pudding." The blonde added cheekily.

She sat down back at her desk and took out some scrolls. "Well then, let's talk, shall we?"

The blonde nodded as the shinobi hiding in the room appeared behind him. "Yeah. Let's."

o. o. o.

Iwa:

Kurotsuchi nervously walked into the Tsuchikage's office, not knowing what was going on or what was going to happen to her. She was praying to whatever gods there were… other than the log, of course… that the old geezer didn't find out that she had leaked her suspicions to a certain circle of individuals soon after she returned… or that she was related to them, seeing as they were the ones that prompted Han to bust out of prison. She had nothing to do with that second bit, but being even tangentially related to it was enough to warrant horrible things done to her if proven…

She opened the door of the office to see the old leader sleeping. Deeply, if the snot bubble coming out of his equally large nose was any indication. Oddly enough, there were also shadow clones of him doing the paperwork that he'd been ranting about longer than she had been alive. "Uh… I'm here…" She stammered, not exactly sure how to deal with the situation now.

"'Bout damn time…" Grunted one of the clones as it slammed the pen it was writing with on the table. "I was getting a cramp…"

"I'm seeing spots." Groaned the other as it also put away its equipment before slapping the original upside his head. "Oi! Wake up! She's here!" It shouted before both clones disappeared with a smirk.

"Za!" The original shouted as he flailed and fell off his chair. "Who did that? Where's the enemy?" He roared as he shot up into the air with a glowing cube in his hands.

"Uh… your clones did that…" The teen sweatdropped, depressed that the infamous bloodline expansion Dust element was being used for such childish antics. "… and they dispelled themselves before you could get revenge."

"They did?" Blinked Ōnoki as he looked around and sifted through his memories. "Oh… they did." He coughed in an embarrassed way before floating down to his desk again. "Right… so…"

"You called me here less than an hour ago to talk to me specifically, Tsuchikage-sama…" The pink eyed girl sighed, clearly crossing off traitorous acts as the reason why she was here.

"Right! I did do that. Call you I most certainly did!" The short man laughed anxiously, obviously nervous about how to proceed. Clearing his throat and activating the privacy seals in his room, the man slowly calmed now and leaned back in his chair. "Kurotsuchi…" The old man started off carefully, thinking about his next words. "I want… to talk to you about your father."

The woman stepped back, clearly not expecting this particular subject to come up. "…Dad? Why would you want to talk to me about him? He's been dead for almost 15 years…"

"And that was more than too early for a man like him…" Ōnoki added with a resigned sigh. "He was an exceptional shinobi… one of the best of his generation and destined to do great things…" He closed his eyes. "Despite our age difference, we were very close, believe it or not." The teen's eyes widened. "I was even there for a few of your and your brother's birthdays before the war took priority in life. And after he… and many others died… I drowned myself in work in order to keep my mind off of things…" He chuckled dryly and took out a small bottle of wine.

"To be honest… I did indeed plot about revenge against the Fourth Hokage after the war… a few of them involved leaving Konoha a giant hole in the ground, others involved the classic kidnapping and torture… what ruler wouldn't at least be inclined to, after what he did? Not a good one I can assure you…" He took in a deep drink of the alcohol. "But the Kyūbi beat me to it, and did more damage to Konoha than we did in the entire war… so I asked myself… what now?"

Kurotsuchi blinked before frowning. "That should have been easy. You go for his students and any family members instead…"

Ōnoki shook his head. "No, you stupid girl… what would that do other than piss off people who aren't Namikaze? I could step and piss and shit all over his corpse all day long if I wanted to and had the chance, but that wouldn't mean _anything_ , because the man is _dead_. I would be spending my life trying to beat someone that doesn't exist anymore. All it would do is make me feel better and look like an obsessed idiot, as if I were some infant child having a fit because someone else got the toy I wanted in the store and someone gave me three other ones instead… I have better things to do with the remainder of my life than act like an academy student." He sighed and took another drink. "Killing any or all of those bastards wouldn't bring me any closer to getting my son and grandson back, no matter how much I would wish it… and it would only cause people to aim for the head of my only remaining grandchild…"

Kurotsuchi's eyes widened slowly, but without limits as she processed what her leader had just said. "Wh-what did… you just say?" She asked with a shocked and quiet voice.

"You're a special jōnin, girl. You know what I said." Ōnoki grunted while looking away. "And despite the fact that you have been pissing me off more than an entire year's worth of genin lately, I'm… trying… to at least make an effort to catch up for lost time."

"B-but… dad… said he was adopted… after grandma died alone when he was a kid…" The girl tried to reason with her past feebly.

"By a man I had trusted with my life when he was still breathing." Ōnoki explained. "He was my kid, I assure you, just as you were his. He and your late brother had the family nose, for god's sake…" He sighed, pointing to one of the main reasons why women avoided him when he was younger. "The reason why I didn't take care of him and you directly is obvious. People have hated me for a long time. They have wanted to kill me for a long time. They want to make me suffer through any means necessary… or anyone necessary. Sound familiar?" He raised an eyebrow at the girl in a questioning and accusing manner.

The teen shivered unconsciously as she realized that he was describing both her and people that could have tried to kill her as a child. "I… I get it…" She grunted begrudgingly before frowning. "But… why did you leave me alone after the war, though?" Her temper rose. "Why did I have to train myself to get to where I am without anyone to help me?"

Ōnoki frowned and took out a scroll. "Kurotsuchi Iwa." He read out loud, ignoring the girl's furious face. "Age 19, daughter of Kitsuchi Iwa. Special jōnin. Possesses noticeable abilities in earth and water style ninjutsu, as well as a strategic mind and eagerness to take on missions…it should be noted that she has an unnaturally short temper, which prevents her from achieving goals on some missions and causes discord among teammates, resulting in a large number of failed missions that should have been rather straightforward. It is also noted that she possesses an unhealthy fixation with revenge against Konoha and anything related to Minato Namikaze, noted to be at a higher and more dangerous degree than most of our forces. Her xenophobic personality has proven on multiple occasions to be an issue in terms of getting along with others and in negotiations. It is recommended by many sources that assigning her missions in or near Fire country is dangerous, and could risk village security."

He looked up. "It looks to me like you didn't want anyone around you in the first place. I admit that part of your situation was my fault. I had said that I drowned myself in work in order to forget everything, and by everything, I had at the time accidentally added you into the category as well. For that, I apologize. However, that did not mean I had anything to do with your urge to push any and every one that tried to get close away from you. That was all your doing. This isn't Konoha, but teamwork is still an important factor in combat situations, and judging from all your teacher's reports, you barely scraped by."

Kurotsuchi glared at Ōnoki feebly for what seemed like hours before she relented and collapsed in her chair. "So what? Are you here to tell me that I'm a blight on the family name that I didn't even know I had in the first place? That I should give up the only thing that's been driving me forward my entire life… that I should just forgive the bastard that took my family away from me?"

Ōnoki snorted. "Feh. Forgive Namikaze? That's almost as pointless as declaring revenge on him. The bastard is dead, girl, and he did it in a way that is almost impossible to beat. I should know. Nothing you do will make him any deader. Get that through your head already. I don't give a rat's ass about what you do regarding him, as long as it's _only_ to him. The people he's related to, on the other hand, you should leave alone already. Being a blight on the family name? I've had cousins and uncles that were more threatening and demeaning than you ever will be. Give up on your petty revenge? Yes. It would be a decent start, and it would make you considerably less annoying to be around in the long run. Find something better and less likely to get you killed before me to strive for… like becoming a better ninja than your father for a start, and actually become someone he can be proud of."

The girl froze for a moment before looking at her grandfather in a daze. "You… you think I could be better than dad?"

Ōnoki laughed and drank again. "The way you are now? Hell no. Your temper and emotional control would ruin you before you would even be considered for a jōnin promotion. Anyone with their eyes in right and enough experience would be able to tell that much." He calmed down and took note of the girl glaring at him before he put down the bottle again. "Before your father died, he was one of Iwa's most respected jōnin. I was going to reveal our relationship to everyone after the war, feeling that he was strong enough to protect himself and you as well from the enemies we had both made over the years, but he died in battle instead. Your father was not a stupid man, Kurotsuchi. He was a bit hot headed at times, but he never for one second lost control over himself, which was part of the reason why he was so valued in the first place."

"Namikaze was already a major threat before he took out our 200 men by himself in that battle, and your father, like everyone here, did hate him for that, but your father was one of the few that also respected him for that skill as well. Unlike that idiot Deidara who was only obsessed with his own creations, Kitsuchi made an effort to see the potential in everyone he met, friend and foe. That was part of the reason why his only genin team was promoted so quickly. In fact, if there was anyone he probably would have wanted to die by the hands of in battle, it probably would have been Namikaze, simply because the man was the strongest ninja of his generation and he wasn't an ass… although he would have most likely have preferred for it to be when he was old enough to see you grow up…" He sighed again. "I'm going to reveal to everyone our relationship in three weeks, with or without your approval. I'm giving you this time to find yourself and sort out your life. I will send for you shortly before the declaration, and you will tell me what you have decided for yourself. Depending on your answer, I will give you my thoughts on what I should do with you."

Kitsuchi sat there quietly as she thought about what her village leader had just told her… her lineage, her behavior, how people thought of her, how it would affect her… her thoughts of revenge… it was more than overwhelming. "I… think I'll need that much time to figure things out…" She muttered. "… I don't think putting me on a mission would be the best idea right now."

"My thoughts exactly." Ōnoki replied before he tossed her a scroll. "Your old man used to keep a journal since he was an academy student. They were gathered up separate from the rest of his normal possessions as a safety precaution, seeing as he had access to confidential information and could have written about it there… but I know for a fact it was just there so he could vent every once in a while in private. I never looked at them, but something tells me you'd get more out of reading the things than I would. Read them, and see things through your father's eyes before making your final decision." ' _Read them to discover what kind of person your father would be proud of…'_ Was the unspoken advice that was passed between the two.

"Sure… I'll do that…" The teen mused quietly as she left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.

Ōnoki sighed before snapping his fingers, prompting one of his village's ANBU to appear inside. "Keep an eye on her." The old man instructed. "With her personality and what just happened, there's a chance she might react poorly and do something stupid."

"And if she does?" The deep voiced man asked in a tone that was clearly asking permission to kill.

"Knock her ass out and keep her in solitary, and then if what she does seems to have some relationship to anything else on my blacklist here, investigate everything to the best of your abilities… with the exception of the girl herself." He closed his eyed. "I will be in charge of that endeavor if it comes to it."

"Yes, Tsuchikage-sama." The ANBU bowed before disappearing, leaving Ōnoki alone again in his office.

The third ruler of Iwa didn't want to have to resort to such measures, but unfortunately, he knew better than to simply assume that things would turn out for the best, even if it was someone he cared about a lot.

That was one of the many things he had to learn the hard way while apprenticed to the Invisible Man and the one who taught him how to use the dust element in the first place… the Second Tsuchikage, Mu of Iwa…

o. o. o.

With Naruto's group:

"So you guys have everything memorized?" Naruto asked his friends as he pulled the hood of his sweater over his head. The blonde mentally patted himself on the back as he had managed in between guarding Michiru, spying on pretty much the entirety of the Land of Spring's capital, sorting through all the information that came his way, his secret meetings with Koyuki, AND training his Jūken kata with Neji and Hinata, he had also managed to train himself to fight and act efficiently with his hood up all the time. He could confidently say that other than watching the movie, it was the highlight of this part of the trip… oh yeah… and the stop the coup… thing… could be considered up there too, he guessed.

"For the last time, Naruto, yes, we've got it. We work in pairs the entire time unless we're doing one of our specified jobs." Ino rolled her eyes as she walked behind the carriage. The girl had been in an irritable mood since they started to spy on people of interest that Koyuki had listed for the blonde. Unfortunately for Ino, many of them had odd fetishes, so more often than not when she switched bodies with one of them… well… let's just say that she was rubbing her body in a few particular places for a while after one instance and that it would be a while before she would go near a place that does piercings…

"Are you sure we can trust the shinobi that are with the Daimyō to do their part?" Neji asked skeptically from next to the carriage. "I feel uncomfortable with the fact that we do not know who or where they are from…"

Naruto sniggered. "Oh, we know them all right. I'm just not saying anything until they decide to show themselves. It's part of the reason why I'm not freaking out more right now."

The rest of the genin looked at him skeptically before relenting. They had tried to get Naruto to tell them about the other ninja before, but with no luck. All they knew was that their identities had caused the boy to get unusually giddy for some reason.

The teens waited patiently as their carriage took its place in line behind several other carriages that held other daimyo who were all waiting for their red carpet treatment. Many of them had shinobi guards of their own, though none of them were from Konoha.

After what seemed like forever, it was Michiru's and Hikaru's turn to walk inside the building. As expected, cameras and people were everywhere, providing a bodyguard's nightmare as an assassin could easily close into their target without getting noticed until it was too late. That being the case, Hinata and Neji had their eyes activated the moment the fat man walked out. The pair could tell that there were at least a hundred odd shinobi wearing chakra armor hidden throughout the building and crowds, and then there were the ninja that the other guests had brought with them, but they were to do nothing unless one of them made a move.

"This is so exciting!" Michiru awed, completely unaware of what was around him as he waved to everyone and walked to the main doors. "I've heard about movie premieres, but I've never actually been to one before…"

"Yeah…" Hikaru mused as he looked at his bodyguards out of the corner of his eyes. The boy had initially not cared much about what the teens did in their spare time during the trip, but he, unlike his father, had noticed that they were a bit more on edge than normal since getting inside the town… and a lot busier.

Sai marched on forward professionally, but on the inside he was honestly curious and interested in his current situation. The boy had been in public before and he had snuck around his home and other villages in the dead of night without being noticed, but this was personally the first time he was exposed to actually being focused on and expected to not actually do anything. He was taught to never expose himself to the attention of others, yet he was doing just that… and he didn't honestly know what to make of it. He should read up on that later.

Ino, on the other hand, was sucking up the atmosphere like a sponge. The girl was in her element, and everyone in her team could easily tell. "Oh my god, that's the famous actor that was in all those movies recently! I wonder if he'll give me his autograph! Is it too much to ask if I can get him to give me his address too? Oh and there's that actress from that romantic film last summer that was so popular! I must ask her where she got that robe she did for that one scene. Gasp! Did someone just take my photograph? I wasn't prepared! I didn't put on any makeup or anything! YOU!" She pointed to a random and now incredibly scared photographer. "Take my picture right this time, or I swear I'll…"

"Lee." Naruto rolled his eyes, not paying attention as the spandex wearing boy appeared behind the other blonde and knocked her out.

"I apologize for my teammate's behavior!" Lee bowed deeply with the girl over his shoulder. "Her flames of youth have gotten the best of her at the moment!"

"Note to self… Ino makes a terrible celebrity guard…" Naruto mumbled to himself as the group walked through the building to find their seats.

"Heh. This is a sight." Snorted one of the other shinobi guards there, a man from Iwa. "I thought Konoha had at least some pride in what they did, but they sent two teams of genin to guard a nobleman? I feel sorry for that poor fat bastard of a client."

"Coming from an adult trying to intimidate someone young enough to be his kid. Yeah. You keep talking. We'll just be going to our seats and talking about things that are actually worth our attention." Neji bluntly countered while walking by, causing the ninja and his teammates to glare at the snickering teens.

"Cocky little…" Grunted one angered woman from Iwa who held a grudge against Konoha from the previous war, as she slipped out a few senbon. "Let's see you run your mouth after this…" She flung the small needles at Neji quickly and quietly at points that would cause more pain than damage… only to watch them suddenly veer off course and stick themselves in a nearby wall instead.

"Thanks." Neji said to Naruto, who was smirking with his hood still up.

"Please. You didn't need help in the first place." The blonde casually replied. "Besides, that was nowhere near as hard as dealing with Haku's attacks."

"Should I take precautions to make sure they don't interfere with tonight's activities?" Sai asked curiously.

"No." Naruto shook his head. "We don't want to be blamed if something happens to their client that they could have prevented." Interfering with another country's mission, _especially_ guarding missions when your own had nothing to do with theirs, was extremely frowned upon and dangerous. If not handled properly, tensions between respective countries could escalate from such an insult and result in devastating consequences.

"Ah. Here are our seats!" Michiru said happily as he looked at his ticket and the seating markings on the second floor of the theatre. He had his own box to watch the film. "Come, Hikaru! The movie is going to start soon!"

Naruto and Hinata positioned themselves closest to Michiru, to his side and to his front. Sai and Kin were to the sides, and Kiba, Ino, Neji and Lee were at the back.

As the room filled out, Naruto took note of the various chakra signatures filling the room. Due to the armor they were wearing, he could easily tell who was definitely an enemy and who was potentially an enemy… he counted the signatures on the roof as definite enemies, since Koyuki had told him that she would only station her men at the actual entrances of the building and other standard locations there. Looking to the side, he mentally recorded the locations of all the nobles in the nosebleed seats and which ones were the ones that were proven traitors by the Daimyō and his group from their time spying on pretty much every one of importance. Briefly looking back, he saw the four in the back doing the same as he was doing seconds before. Nodding slightly to each other, the blonde turned forward to see Koyuki dressed in an expensive looking kimono walking up to a small podium set up for her alongside two kunoichi that were masked and wearing identical uniforms from Konoha. It only took an instant for the boy to tell that the plan had already been started…

"Naruto…" Hinata and Neji said at once in concerned and shocked tones, indicating that they too noticed what he knew from the first place.

"She's the lead actress for the film." The blonde replied casually. "Is it really surprising that she's there?"

The two remained quiet as the woman stepped on the ledge and coughed into the microphone, causing the audience to quiet down. "Thank you for coming here tonight for the film's premiere, everyone. A lot of work has gone into not only making this documentary, but also starting the events that inspired its creation to be made into the first place. The movie is dedicated to those who spent their lives fighting against my corrupt uncle, the previous Daimyō of this country, Dotō Kazehana, as well as the people who helped make the film." A loud roar of clapping followed her announcement. The woman waited patiently for it to die down a bit before speaking again. "After the film is finished, I would like to speak more about our current situation here in the Land of Spring, but for now, I believe we should get this movie started since you all have been waiting so patiently." She smiled and did a cute pose while winking and turning to the side, getting a bigger applause and some cheers from a few excited men.

"She's pushing her luck…" Naruto deadpanned as he saw the woman's two guards react very slightly to Koyuki's action before all three walked to their seats again and the lights in the room dimmed and the movie began…

o. o. o.

20 minutes into the movie:

"After my rescue from my uncle, I was an emotional wreck…" Yuki's voice echoed through the room as the screen showed pictures of her growing up. "I had lost faith in people, yet I still subconsciously went on with my dream to be an actress. Sandayū somehow found me in my early acting career and, for better or worse, became my manager…"

Naruto, Hinata, Kin and Sai stood there continuing to be on guard… however, Sai was busy drawing something… and the other four ninja in the back had long since disappeared.

o. o. o.

40 minutes into the movie:

"With the Princess Fūin series being such a success and Koyuki being of an appropriate age, I decided that now was as good a time as any to try and get her back to her homeland and reclaim her inheritance…" Sandayū's raspy voice chuckled dryly as the screen showed the poster for what was the original goal for this movie. "I knew things wouldn't go as peacefully as I had hoped, so using the funds I had gained from the previous movies, I hired a team from Konoha to protect us… heheheh…" The screen went blank. "We didn't even get on the boat yet before things got interesting with those guys around… well… really, one in particular."

Naruto paled as he felt his teammates looking at him accusingly. Oh, this would not end well.

The screen showed a cameraman's view of Koyuki running away on horseback from the main set. "Not even an hour before we had actually met, Koyuki had found out about our plan to go back to her home. Given her traumatization even if she didn't remember everything at the time, it really was no wonder that she ran away in such a hurry. I had gotten some of the local guards to help me chase after her, but…" He chuckled lightly as the screen turned to the man laughing sheepishly. "Well… it turned out that most of the ninja we hired saw the chase and thought we were the bad guys… they beat the guards and me up within a minute and tied us up while one of them chased Koyuki, screaming about getting an autograph… though he gave up on the latter soon afterwards due to her rather stubborn personality…"

The screen then showed a scene of Kakashi, Sasuke, Haku, and Naruto, though the younger three had been edited so that they were all wearing masks covering everything but their eyes, at the stage set. Kakashi, Sasuke and Haku were sitting down patiently and talking to some of the actors about something mundane… but Naruto was all over the place screwing around with the stage props.

"Whoa!" The blue eyed boy shouted in awe and glee as he took out a massive fake demon claw. "Check this out! Is this the most epic back scratcher or what? Kasai (fire)! You wanna break in this baby?"

"Kaze (Wind), you idiot. Put that down already." Sasuke replied tiredly. "You're gonna break something and I'm not going to pay for it."

"Bah! Kill joy! When I make it big, I'm gonna get a custom made scratcher just like this! It would relieve my back, and serve as a good prop for freaking people out." Naruto pouted before looking around the bin some more. "Hehehey! Fake giant leeches! Oh, the things I have planned for you babies!"

"Um… are you sure it is okay for him to be on this mission, Kakashi-san?" Sandayū asked the teacher nervously.

Kakashi sighed and scratched the back of his head. "He is a bit immature at times, but I assure you, he is quite skilled and dependable…"

"Just don't expect this mission to be relaxing and quiet…" Haku sighed before turning to Naruto again, only to find that he haddisappeared. "Uh oh…"

A female's scream in the distance seconds later answered everyone's questions and caused the audience to laugh for a few seconds before the screen switched to a picture of Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, and Haku.

"Kakashi Hatake, and the three ninja under his command, who we will call Kasai, Kaze, and Yuki for the documentary, were the ninja that Konoha had sent us for our request." Sandayū narrated from off screen. "Kakashi, ironically enough, was the same ninja that had managed to get Koyuki out of her home country ten years earlier. Apparently, he is a rather famous ninja from Konoha and known as the Copy Ninja, one of the best they have to offer. The three younger shinobi were all different in many ways. Yuki was the only girl in the group and was slightly older than the other two boys. She had an older sister personality and was very calm most of the time unless provoked, but she always had a calm head on her shoulders. Kasai was a rather quiet kid, and not simply because he was on a mission. There seemed to always be something going on in his head. The only time he was rather active was when he was around Kaze, who for some reason appeared to be a very good friend of his despite the fact that they looked like they wanted to kill each other at some points. Kaze…" Sandayū laughed nervously. "Well, Kaze was a wildcard. No one could predict what that child would do next or manage to hold him down. He was always full of energy and spoke his mind… whether we wanted him to or not…"

The screen quickly showed a scene with many actors and actresses chasing after Naruto in a bloody wrath because he had stolen the top half of one of the stand-in's armors for the movie and was desperate to keep it if what he was shouting was any indication.

"Kaze, Kasai, and Yuki, while rather young, have also made reputations for themselves in some circles, though according to Kaze, he was the most famous of the three and known as Konoha's Feral Gale… we didn't know it at the time, but there was a reason why he had that name other than the fact that it described his rather loud and energetic personality…"

The scene changed to Koyuki acting on the boat. "I had… been rather uncooperative to go on the trip, so Kakashi had to use some sort of ninja technique to knock me out when he found me so that we could all get on the ship for Snow country in time." Koyuki's voice chuckled in an embarrassed tone. "So with literally nowhere left to run, I just played along and continued to work…" The screen showed scenes from the original movie, makeup being applied to various cast members and orders being shouted out. "Though… to be honest, the offset scenes were a bit more interesting to watch from time to time…"

The screen showed Naruto with the lower half of his body frozen to the deck glaring at Haku, who was standing in front of him with her hands crossed. "Now, Kaze. Have you learned your lesson about causing trouble with the cast and crew while the movie is being filmed?"

Naruto seemed to not pay attention, as he was savagely hammering at the ice with a kunai in both hands. "Yeah, yeah! Don't do it, cause then you'll freeze me and cause my nuts to permanently turn to raisins, I get it, now get me out of this damn thing!" He roared without missing a beat with the stabbing of the ice. The audience laughed some more at Naruto's expense.

"That was pretty much the routine every day for us." The director's voice commented. "We'd spend the appropriate hours doing scenes for the movie, altering and retaking them constantly due to acting mistakes, Koyuki's occasional acting out, or that kid's occasional pranks. They pissed me off back then, but now that I think about it, I can't help but chuckle…" The screen then showed the camera recording everybody putting equipment away… and by chance looking up to see Naruto sitting in a lotus position and meditating on top of the captain's tower. "Still… there were times where the brat was unusually quiet and focused and it really had me on edge. Kids like that don't normally shut up like that unless they're being threatened or they're hiding something, but it was like a switch for this one. One moment he was looking around the makeup kits with a bottle full of hot sauce and the next he was meditating like some monk…"

"More like sage…" Naruto smirked as he sensed the missing half of his group do their respective jobs inside the building.

"So other than that, things were going pretty much on schedule…" The director continued as the screen revealed a massive iceberg. "That is… until we woke up to find a huge iceberg in our path. The captain's initial decision was to go around this monster, but I on the other hand thought it would make a brilliant place to do some of our scenes, and since I was the one writing the checks, we landed within an hour and got set up a few later." He grunted and sighed loudly. "I should have known something was up when I realized the loudmouth one hadn't done anything extreme all day…

Boom!

The first encounter against the Snow ninja started off loudly and caught everyone in the audience's attention. Even though the director was with one cameraman, several others had also conveniently been rolling while retreating at the same time, meaning all 3 sides of the fight had been covered.

"I had heard a lot of things about shinobi battles and had even worked with a few for some special effects help, but to be so close to an all-out fight was completely different." The director's voice commented as the screen showed Kakashi and Nadare's fight. "You could feel the air flowing with power from every one of the fighters, even if you couldn't follow their moves…"

The screen switched to Haku's fight and the crowd awed as the girl countered the massive number of ice birds with her flying needles. "It really was nerve wrecking being in the middle of something like this, yet these kids seemed to go through with manipulating and fighting the forces of nature it like it was a normal occurrence." Sandayū added in with awe as Haku's figure disappeared in the ice pillar she was trapped in and reappeared in the mirror behind her opponent. "We really are indebted to them. They opened our eyes to what was out there in the world."

The scene then switched to Naruto's and Sasuke's fight. Sasuke threw his weapons and shot fireballs at his opponent before Naruto made the earth wall. "I don't really remember much of the fight." Koyuki sighed. "I was in a bit of shock from the appearance of the ninja that helped kill my father, but I did remember Kaze…" Naruto's blades pierced through his wall and launched the large man a far distance away. "The kid didn't seem fazed by what was going on at all. In fact, if anything he had actually become more in control of the situation than anyone else in his team…" The assailant came through the hole in the wall he had just made and had attempted to grab Koyuki, only for Naruto to literally disarm him and send him back at the same time.

One of the Iwa shinobi frowned as he saw the scene. It looked oddly familiar to him, and in his profession, that feeling could only lead to bad things…

The battle continued to grow and progress in front of the audience as a massive one horned whale appeared on the screen. "Any misgivings I had about the team were thrown away after that event." The director commented as the screen showed the destruction of the iceberg. "Those brats faced down that monster of an enemy without even batting an eyelash and nearly won, despite the age and experience difference. I don't know what they went through to be like that… and personally, I don't want to…" There was a brief pause. "Still, the brat seemed to keep things upbeat even after everything happened… though he had an odd fixation with blowing up Dotō's castle once he was informed of everything…"

The movie began to show and describe the Land of Snow's condition under Dotō's rule as well as the condition of the people living there before Naruto noted some people that weren't his teammates were beginning to move quietly to the nosebleed seats in a very swift way... only for an even swifter person to stealthily come up from behind and pick them off one by one without getting caught. The ones in the front were also caught off guard as several shapes dropped from the ceiling and wrapped themselves around the shocked ninja like snakes before another hidden figure dashed out from a hiding space and took out half of them in a single pass. The entire event was nearly mute as there had been multiple silencing seals set up throughout the building secretly without anyone knowing. Each room or hallway of the building was in its own world, only connected to each other by communication devices.

"Nice work…" Naruto whispered into his headset. "Any damages?"

"None. Their armor can't protect them from a Jūken strike since it doesn't activate at skin contact levels, and Lee's all fists. The assailants were barely chūnin level at best. They didn't pose any problems." Neji's voice replied. "Sai's ink ninjutsu was a good distraction, despite the fact that their armor protected them..."

"I try to help when I can…" Sai added in an almost amused tone.

"Get back to helping out Ino and Kiba." Naruto ordered. "Some more are heading to their location…"

"Understood." The two taijutsu experts whispered as they ran to help their friends.

"Sai. Kin. There may be more coming to this position. Go take up the spot that Neji and Lee were just protecting…" The blonde instructed as he made some clones in the nearby hallway as discretely as possible without using seals. "I made some clones to back you up, but try to be as careful as possible. Make sure not to tip off any of the other guard ninja here that something's up…"

"Now?" Kin moaned as she watched the Naruto on the movie screen scream bloody murder as Sasuke and several cast members threw him into the near freezing ocean. "I wanted to see you suffer more…"

"Get the video." Grunted the blonde as he mentally relived that particular experience. That water was fucking cold, and afterwards he was so out of it that he'd even used some of the Kyūbi's chakra to warm himself back up again.

"Fine." Huffed the girl as she left the room with Sai. "But you're buying it."

"Keep telling yourself that." Naruto replied bluntly as the movie started going over the train event.

"I was so tired mentally and physically that I couldn't care less that I was being carried by a 12 year old kid at the time." Koyuki laughed in an embarrassed tone as the screen showed the caves where the tracks ran through. "We had already established that we didn't really like each other much. He was an annoying brat and I… well, he had some interesting things to say about me, that was certain. Before any decent talking could be done, though… my Uncle's train had caught up to us, and since we were in the cave, we actually had to outrun the thing." A clip of the train rushing by was shown on the screen showing how fast it could move. "You don't have to believe me when I say this, but that kid not only managed to outrun that train out of the cave, he did it with me on his back, and he wasn't even tired when we stopped!"

The screen showed a far view of the entrance of a cave and the small figures of Naruto and Koyuki skidding out of it for a good distance before the train itself came out and stopped a good distance away. The room echoed with Sandayū's speech and the roars of the men behind him multiplied the effect several times before the carts of the train opened and unleashed their barrage against the men.

"As I was running down that hill, my life didn't flash before my eyes because I did not even recognize that my life was in immediate danger at the moment…" Sandayū's voice chuckled embarrassed as the scene slowed down. "The shinobi had not returned since Koyuki's disappearance, and Dotō was right in front of us. I had assumed that even if we lost, we could at least deal a large blow to that man before the eyes of our princess." There was a deep sigh. "If we had been left alone at that point… we would have died without even scratching the man." Haku's mirrors then erupted from the snow in front of the men and deflected the kunai. "Thankfully, that wasn't the case."

The crowd's eyes widened as the wall of mirrors withstood several rounds of explosive notes before her ice missiles completely annihilated the train's carts. The people cheered when the main vehicle crashed down the mountain.

"We were excited as hell that Dotō took a fall like that. Heaven knows how long we've waited for that bastard to get some of what was coming to him." Laughed one of the men that had charged with Sandayū. "We had thought that had finished him off, but apparently the ninja thought otherwise. According to them, Dotō was wearing some of that freak armor that his ninja were wearing, so odds were that he was only dead pissed, not dead like we had hoped. How they knew, I don't really know. I've heard ninja could do crazy things like see all around them or smell things from miles away, but in the end, all I got were guesses."

Naruto turned his attention away from the movie to sense Ino, Neji, and Kiba working in tandem to screw over some of the shinobi hidden in the audience. Koyuki had hidden some of her own forces there as well, but none of them wore chakra armor, which, as it was tested earlier, cannot protect the user from the Yamanaka's mind body switch technique. Every 3 or so minutes, give or take, a random person would get up from the crowd, go to the back of the room, apparently to the bathroom, and return as if nothing was wrong. Ino's skill with the technique had reached the point that so long as the target wasn't exceptionally strong, they would not remember being influenced by the technique. All they would notice would be the slight jump in the movie, and the progressing numbing feeling crawling through their bodies…

It was slightly over an hour into the film, and the Yamanaka had managed to incapacitate around 30 enemy shinobi without getting caught. If she kept up the pace, the girl could have easily halved the enemy's forces there… but the endeavor would leave the girl completely exhausted.

Kiba and Akamaru, on the other hand, were constantly setting up motion shock tags below the seats of almost all of the rest of the ninja on that floor that they could detect. The puppy was having a field day, as not only could he sneak around without getting caught with ease, but he was also having a great mid-mission snackfest on the popcorn and snacks on the floor. The otherwise simple tags themselves were designed to generate a shock at a frequency that would short out the cores of the armor the enemy was wearing. If they didn't pass out from the feedback, the soldiers would at least prove easier to defeat when the fighting broke out. There had been one or two cases where the puppy had almost been discovered by his target, but thanks to his small size, the hound managed to escape being caught.

"Neji, when Ino gets back to her body, send her back here." Naruto instructed through his radio. "We need her to be rested enough to fight soon…"

"Roger." Neji's voice replied.

"Kiba, how many have you and Akamaru tagged?" The blonde asked.

There was a brief pause. "Close to 40 if my counting's right, though we might have gotten some of the guys Ino's pegged already by accident."

"All right. Ask Neji where the biggest cluster of ninja not hit by either of you is before tagging them, and get out so long as it isn't too risky. We can't blow our cover just yet." The blonde instructed. "Just remember to set some exploding tags on the main exits. In this kind of situation, the doors will be one of the places they get to first, and one of the last ones they'll expect we've rigged."

"Speaking from pranking experience, aren't you?" Sniggered the Inuzuka's voice.

"Damn right I am. Now shut up and focus. We can rip on each other later." The jinchūriki answered with a grin.

"That night had started off pretty low key for once." Koyuki's voice recalled. "I had talked to more people than I cared for at the time and it was rather late when I finally managed to get something to eat… and oddly enough, it was Kaze who proved to be the company that made things manageable for me. Though we still disliked each other, we still managed to talk about some things, like how ninjas were classified, his master, who apparently was even more insane than he was and according to him, stronger than Kakashi… but unfortunately, our conversation didn't really last that long…" The screen then panned out of the village to show the blimp that Dotō was using…

Naruto sensed that there were more shinobi gathering on the roof and preparing their equipment for what was supposed to be their entrance… unfortunately for them, they didn't expect their plans to be discovered… or for an individual to be standing on the ceiling right below them, making some seals.

"As I was staring down my uncle again, I could only wonder what Kaze had planned that had made his teammates agree so quickly." Koyuki's voice mused as her counterpart walked to the floating vehicle. "Kakashi had said that he had a knack for the unpredictable, but other than being a bit stronger than expected, I hadn't really thought much of what he could do…"

"I just want to know if you knew how birds fly…." Naruto's voice echoed in the theatre in a childish tone to the pink haired enemy.

"Huh? What the hell are you talking about? Birds fly by flapping their wings, you idiot!" The flying woman shouted almost on cue before the camera zoomed in on Naruto from the side, showing a grin under his mask and his eyes glowing slightly.

"I should have known at that point that there was a reason why he called himself the Feral Gale…" Koyuki's voice replied in an almost smug tone.

"Apparently you don't know much about what your armor does, lady…" Naruto chuckled alongside his recorded counterpart as they watched the enemy drop like a rock and a clone blasted the machine over the entire village with his massive wind attack.

The Konoha ninja in the building watched the film watched with mixed levels of both awe and embarrassment at the blonde's actions before shaking their heads and getting into their positions. The loud sound effects and music of the movie easily covered up the possible noises the genin could have made and distracted everyone else from looking at anything else.

… It was especially useful for covering up the noises coming from the roof.

The Iwa shinobi were frowning. They had been noticing that something had been off for a while, but they couldn't put their fingers on it. The theatre's film and dark environment had covered almost anything that they could have detected, seeing as they weren't sensory type shinobi. Normally they would send someone out to scout out what the hell was going on, but with this sort of environment and an unknown enemy, it wasn't a good idea to thin the ranks when they had someone to protect. Best to stay around him and plow their way through the building in a single go if things got rough. One of the ones that had tried to pick a fight with the Konoha teens glared at where they had seen their client sit earlier… only to pause for three main reasons. The first was that there were only two shinobi next to the childish fat man when there should have been eight. A definite warning sign, since a missing shinobi was a shinobi doing something you most likely didn't like... especially if you were one yourself.

The second was that if the so called documentary was correct, then Konoha had at some point managed to get their hands on a girl with an ice making bloodline… and she was freaking good at using it too.

The third and last thing was that the boy there was dressed almost exactly like the kid in the movie… the kid in the movie that had for the duration been whipping out high level wind and earth techniques on scales that would even make most jōnin watch their step. Looking carefully, he saw that the kid from Konoha seemed to have trouble keeping that very satisfied grin off his face as he watched the movie progress…

"Hey…" The man grunted to his teammates quietly so they wouldn't disturb their client and nodded to the hooded boy. It only took a few seconds for the other two to notice the similarities. "We'll just watch for now…" He advised with a frown. If something did go down and the kid made a move against them… Iwa might get a reason to put a new entry in their Bingo Books soon…

"As I was flying through the air, held up only by that monster of an uncle of mine, I had a fairly large amount of time to think… well… after I realize that he wasn't going to drop me and that we were going to be flying for a while…" Koyuki's voice mused as the dark sky of Snow country filled the screen with snowflakes, peppering it lightly. "My childhood… my father… my career… my home… all the death around me… I had trouble sorting it out. A few times I had even wished for that idiot brat Kaze to somehow come out and save me… but being several hundred feet in the air, the odds were likely that I would just get killed in the fall… and soon enough, we could see the rainbow glaciers… I remember playing there with my father when I was small … but because it seemed like the place my uncle wanted to go to it was clearly at the top of the places I wanted least to be…" She sighed. "Dotō claimed that there was some sort of secret weapon that my father had made under the glaciers and he needed my necklace that I had received from father to unlock it. He had grabbed it from my neck and activated the device… only… it wasn't a weapon… it was a generator."

The screen then showed a high quality side view of Koyuki and Dotō standing in the middle of the glaciers with steam rising everywhere. "You know, I always did think that the kid was a bit more cunning than I had thought…" Chuckled the director… "But to actually use one of those clones of his to record this fight and then sell it to me for a part of the profits? … I swear I will never in my life understand ninja…"

The crowed watched in awe as Dotō launched several of his dragon blizzard attacks at the clearly exhausted Naruto before the boy rushed in with a glowing ball in his hand and slammed it into his opponent's armor.

 _'Naruto-kun actually needed to use Rasengan against that man?'_ Hinata mentally awed as the two forces clashed before the blonde was literally pounded through the ice before his second attack could have hit. ' _That must have hurt…'_

"That bastard of a man had ruined my life, killed my father, messed with my head, and tried to take everything away from me…" Koyuki growled as the man approached her counterpart, gloating as he reached down to grab her, only to barely escape his jugular being slashed by a sloppy sneak attack by the woman. "So I tried to return the favor…" She sighed. The scene began to unravel slowly. Dotō was charging at his niece angrily, and the woman was holding a kunai to her throat. "I wasn't going to let that man have the satisfaction of torturing me to death. I was prepared to die before he would do it…"

Two wind blades shot up from the ice and launched the large man away from the shocked woman. "Fortunately for me, someone had a different plan for my Uncle and me…"

The camera was recording an odd low rumbling sound and the ice around it was cracking rapidly as Naruto slowly floated back above the frozen water's surface.

"Up until that point, I had thought that Kaze was just some kid that was pretty good at ninja techniques." Koyuki's voice remised. "All the things he had done were things I had heard could be done from pretty much any shinobi that had enough talent and trained enough. This? Causing the air around us to feel like it was all literally under his control? That it was all alive, yet not part of some flashy attack?"

"The water is fucking cold, you ass…" The boy grunted with narrowed glowing eyes.

"This… was the reason why he called himself the Feral Gale…" The actress said in a smug tone as her uncle launched more dragon blizzards at the boy, only for him to bat them away without even trying or even touching the attacks for that matter. "This… was the reason why he never seemed concerned about the mission, even when those high level ninja attacked us…" The audience watched as the boy produced an even larger glowing chakra ball that seemed to absorb and reflect the light that had been given off of the rainbow glaciers just seconds before…

 _'Beautiful…'_ Hinata swooned as she saw the orb glow with light.

"This… was the reason why Dotō was going to lose." The woman finished as the boy seemingly warped forward and enveloped his opponent in a massive explosion that blinded the screen.

"Stop worshipping me and get into position…" Naruto instructed into his radio, aware that he needed to remind his friends about their situation and distract them from seeing his movie-self do a technique that they had yet to see him do in person… yet. "The film's going to end soon… you can kiss the ground I walk on later."

The genin snapped out of their awe and began to move to their respective places, trying their best to ignore the rest of the movie, which was really a summary of what happened after the fighting, as best they could… which clearly wasn't enough when they saw Dotō's castle blow up at the very end, but really, no one could blame them for that.

The audience cheered, the lights came back on, and Koyuki stepped back onto the podium again. "Thank you, everyone. I am glad that you enjoyed our history, and…"

The woman was cut short as several figures jumped out from the audience and threw smoke bombs everywhere while grabbing the woman at knifepoint. The shinobi not aware of what was going on all got into defensive positions as they saw the potential enemies situate themselves around the exits and entrances of the room. Screams were prevailing in the audience before a man's voice was heard on the speakers. "Koyuki, you have indeed put on quite a show for us tonight. …However, this film will be a onetime showing only, I'm afraid…"

Naruto glanced at several of the nosebleed seats where several local nobles and shinobi were standing. One of them, who had a box to himself, was holding a microphone in front of his face. "Dotō was a bit of an uncouth ruler, but his beliefs were what guided our country to potential greatness. Your plans to reduce our military's power will ruin this country…" He grinned as he watched the woman struggle against the shinobi holding her arms behind her. "So we are removing you from power for the greater good of us all. As we speak, our forces are reclaiming the research documents and remaining armors from the technology labs and capturing your main villa. You have lost, girl… now, what do you have to say before we put you away?"

The woman bowed her head before smirking. "Just this one thing, really…" Several snakes shot out of her robes and assaulted the ninja holding her down, grabbing them by the throat and killing the shocked men instantly. "Koyuki isn't the only one that knows how to act, dumbass…" The woman exploded in a cloud of smoke to reveal none other than Anko Mitarashi crossing her arms and smirking confidently. "God, I love the movies."

"What?" The spoiled man recoiled in shock as one of the kunoichi that was travelling with the disguised Anko took off her mask to reveal that she was the real Koyuki. The other kunoichi took off her mask to reveal herself to be Hana as she positioned herself to protect her charge while her triplets in the meantime literally tore through the surrounding ninja with their elemental Gatsūga.

Just as the snakes shot out, Kiba flared his chakra and set off the tags he and Akamaru had set, hitting all the shinobi that had tried to remain hidden in the audience. Screams of pain and shock filled the room as several dozen more enemies passed out on the ground, prompting the rest to jump away in order to avoid any more potential traps… only for three spinning blurs also hidden inside the audience to shoot out and take even more of them out before landing by the fake Koyuki's guards.

"Anko-sensei / Sis?" Ino and Kiba gaped in shock once they mentally registered who their backup was, not believing that those two had been there the entire time without them knowing.

"Surprised?" The Daimyō sighed in tired and unconcerned tone. "We've known about your little plan for a while now, and I must say: I'm not impressed."

"You… bitch…" The Noble growled before smirking. "Humph. It does not matter. You are severely outnumbered. and my men have chakra armor equipped, and there are still the men gathering the blueprints and claiming your documents outside. You have still lost…"

"Tōshō-dono!" Shouted a man that had just burst in through one of the exits. "He's here! The rumors were true!"

Naruto smirked as he watched from next to Michiru… before he disappeared in a cloud of smoke, showing that he had been a clone the entire time.

"Quit your babbling!" The noble yelled angrily. "Who is here? Speak up!"

"The Feral Gale is HERE!" The man screamed hysterically, getting many wide eyes in response. "He took out all of the men that were waiting on the roof like we were nothing! I barely managed to get here before…" Whatever he was going to say next was interrupted as he was blasted by an invisible force across the room and tore through the movie screen. He didn't appear again.

"You just can't help but make a flashy entrance, can you?" Koyuki sighed as Naruto phased up through the ground next to her with his arms crossed and his hood up.

"Hey, I had half a mind to string the guys I beat on the roof from the rafters for dramatic effect when I made my entrance." The blonde sniggered, not at all worried that he was still technically outnumbered by a good few dozen shinobi. All eyes were on him at the moment. "Lee. You're up."

Without any hint that it was going to happen, the two guards protecting the leading noble suddenly found themselves having the wind knocked out of them and flying over the audience. Before they even hit the ground, their leader found a kunai resting firmly against his jugular. "I am normally not a fan of such youthful tactics. However, there are times when they are necessary…"

The guards of another set of traitorous nobles were also on guard when they began to hear a bell ringing in the background. They had paid no attention to it at first until they began to see things for a few seconds. Their armor quickly filtered out the genjutsu, but when black rats began to scurry up their legs, they were unable to notice the long black haired girl running towards them with her arm cocked back until they were already knocked out and falling over the edge.

Before the enemy forces had enough time to even think about gathering together to protect themselves, their numbers had been reduced to barely a tenth of what they were, with almost all their primary supporters being captured by their opponents in the process.

"What's going on?" Michiru asked in a nervous tone as he looked around to see only Hinata and Sai standing in the box next to him.

"Everything is under control, Michiru-dono." Hinata smiled. "We have taken precautions to ensure that you will not be harmed during this operation."

"Impossible!" The man hissed to himself. "There were over 40 armor wearing ninja waiting for our signal on the roof! A mere boy could not have defeated them all, let alone without letting us know earlier than this!"

"You took down all those guys on the roof without breaking it?" Anko mused to Naruto as she eyed the remaining forces hungrily. "You've improved, shrimp."

"One Swamp of the Underworld from underneath took out almost all of them before they knew I was there." The blonde shrugged as he took out one of Tenten's chakra conducting kunai and twirled it on a finger. "The rest were barely chūnin level. They relied on their armor too much." The blonde paused and adjusted his radio set. "Oi Ero-nii, how goes protecting Koyuki's mansion with all the important documents?"

"Wheeeee!" A giddy voice cheered back, completely in contrast to the explosions and screams of pain claiming the background.

"Well, that puts my worries to rest." The blonde shrugged. "It really was a good idea to pool all the crucial documents and blueprints under your control in your mansion for the coup." The blonde admitted. "It's easier to defend everything that way in this kind of situation…" He frowned as several kunai flew in their general direction and blasted enough of the air around him to send the weapons into a nearby wall, where the tags connected to the handles exploded without causing too much damage. "You numbnuts just watched the fucking movie! You should know that that shit doesn't work on me! How stupid can you get?!" The blonde roared, irritated that the enemy was using explosives in an enclosed space like this.

"Oi old guy!" Anko shouted, pointing at the noble who seemed to be in charge of the failed coup. "Call off your minions or we'll cut off your head!"

"Cutting off his head is most unyouthful!" Lee replied from behind his scared target. "Can't I just severely wound him and teach him the ways of the flames of youth afterwards?"

"Lee! We've told you a thousand times already! Teaching others about the flames of youth is forbidden without proper supervision!" Naruto yelled, instinctively knowing that in many ways, what Lee was asking to do was far worse. "Some people just can't handle it!"

"Let me handle this… idiots…" Grunted Hana as she stepped up and crossed her arms across her chest. "Tōshō Uremeshi, you and your conspirators are under arrest for attempting to usurp the Daimyō of Spring country, endangering the lives of the public and influential members of other countries, attempted theft of classified information, among other crimes that will be recognized by various other countries." Her triplets landed behind her and glared at the men, causing everyone to suddenly feel as if they were under the gaze of several unidentifiable and horrifically large and angry monsters.

Naruto smirked lightly. ' _So she's finally gotten the hang of using her Presence…not bad…'_

"Surrender yourself and your men peacefully, or I assure you: we _will_ take appropriate measures." The Inuzuka growled alongside her partners.

"Oooh! No fair!" Anko moaned childishly. "I wanna show off too…" The woman pouted before turning her attention to one of the few remaining clusters of enemy shinobi and grinning savagely. Instantly, in addition to the feeling of staring down several savage beasts, the shivering sensation of being within striking distance of a monstrously huge serpent crawled into people's heads. If asked, the people there would almost swear that they could feel the snake's tongue barely flick them. "Well boys? How am I doing so far?" The Snake Mistress purred as she licked the end of a kunai she was playing with.

Naruto smirked and walked in front of the two women. "Not bad, you two. You almost have him begging for us to stop. We just need a small push… may I?"

Hana snorted. "Just like Ghost. Fine. Go ahead. The guys here have probably felt yours already, so doing so would pretty much confirm you are who you are… and make them give up."

"Just don't make us look too bad, brat." Anko swooned as she took another step towards the men she was currently scaring the shit out of. "We do have a reputation to keep…"

The blonde rolled his eyes before sighing… and within a second afterwards the air around the entire building became alive with power and chakra. The remaining opposing veteran shinobi who still had hope of victory had their hopes shattered as they recalled this feeling when they had attempted to catch up to Dotō at the rainbow glaciers. The living air around them, threatening to tear them apart from every angle from where they touched the charged gasses… This really was the kid that killed their previous leader…

"So, about that unconditional surrender?" The jinchūriki asked politely as he held out his chakra kunai and began to slowly extend the wind infused blade towards the scared shitless noble…

The Iwa shinobi there stood there in place and shivered as they watched the scene unfold in front of them…

Threat to Iwa or not… there were going to be some additions to their Bingo Books when they got back home…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Done finally with this chapter. Ugh. I thought about extending this part of the storyline for another chapter or two, but it didn't agree with me. Now the next part, the sword master tourney… ohohohohooo, yeah that one is going to be fun to screw around with. That is going to be my first REAL non-cannon non-filler-arc inspired event, and I am going to milk that for ALL it is worth and then some.

As for the latest chapters in the manga (most recent is ch. 526)? *Insert sounds of fingers and necks popping* You have given me a challenge with your latest few entries Mister Kishimoto, and I am here to take said challenge head on. The game is afoot, and unfortunately for you, **I** am the Demon Chicken of Doom… so let us dance the dance of pens… and expect an epic performance…

So doing a mental summary of the rest of the pretimeskip is going to turn out, I'm estimating aboooout… 10-15 chapters max before I hit that line give or take. After that I am going to make the post timeskip story separate from yet again, simply because if it was all just one story it might just turn people away from how big it will get and be too hard to find where you are after a certain point.

So my project is coming along on schedule. I got lost in South San Francisco last week on foot for about 5 hours because I got the wrong directions. That was fun. And oh yeah, there's the Superbowl this Sunday. Can't forget that.

So review! Worship the log! Pray that you don't actually have to do anything on Sunday! And Review again! Later.


	61. I am the eggman, whooo! I am the eggman, whooooo! I am the log pope! Coo Coo Coo Chu!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 61: I am the eggman, whooo! I am the eggman, whooooo! I am the log pope! Coo Coo Coo Chu!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Suna:

Gaara walked down the main road of his home village… bored, for lack of a better word. The boy was taking a day off from his training; increasing his control over his demon, and his sand, just his powers in general while increasing his stamina and trying to learn some more tricks to do with his sand. He had been working on a sensory skill with it just before the final fight with Madara, but he'd never had the time to finish it. In addition to that particular useful technique, there had been a few others the Ōgakari had suggested that he had to admit were rather appealing, if not more draining than his usual repertoire of techniques.

Temari and Kankurō were both training to extreme levels lately, both to the extent that they were not even taking missions. Had they not had Gaara to earn money for them, and the fact that their father had a large stash before he died, they would have been in a tight financial spot. Temari had taken to her new weapon like water to a fish… or wind to a bird, in her case. The girl had already been trying to find out new ways to apply her element to her weapon while learning standard bōjutsu techniques. While it lacked the raw power her original fan had, the wider range of techniques and increased speed she could use it at more than sufficed.

Kankurō on the other hand had finally begun to make functional chakra shield constructs and had been attempting to find ways to apply them to his puppets while still learning up on various other poisons and trap applications as well as actually manipulating his puppets. According to Chiyo, while she would never tell Kankurō this, she was somewhat surprised by the boy's progress and expected him to go far within the following years before Akatsuki became more active again…

The neighing of a horse snapped the boy out of his thoughts as he turned to look at the source. A carriage horse had apparently gotten away from its careless owner and seemed to be rather frantic as it raced down the street. The boy calmly assessed the situation as the animal ran at him. It was still a fair distance away from him, so he decided to hold it down when it reached him… when a boy half his physical age chasing after a ball ran into the horse's path…

Without even thinking about it, the red head shunshined to reach the child in time before manipulating his sand to wrap around the animal's body and raise it above the ground in order to prevent it from hurting anyone or itself. He didn't use his sand to wrap around the animal's legs because he knew that doing so could risk breaking them, likely causing the owner to put it down as a result; that was the normal procedure.

"It is dangerous to run into the middle of a street without looking first." The jinchūriki tonelessly informed the boy as he used some more of his sand to pick up the ball and hand it to him.

The boy took a few seconds to realize what had just happened before shakily nodding, taking the ball, and running away from the scary looking boy and the thrashing horse.

Gaara sighed again. Partially because the animal's noisemaking was drawing unwanted attention to him, and partially because the boy didn't thank him. Focusing some intent on the animal in front of him and grabbing its reins, the future Kazekage looked the animal in the eyes. "Calm down." He droned as he slowly patted its head. "You are only making things worse for both of us."

Slowly, he lowered the animal so that its hooves were touching the ground again, though the sand would not let it go anywhere yet. The horse still struggled a bit, but it seemed at least a bit more content that it wasn't hovering in midair anymore.

"Oh, thank you!" Shouted a man from where the horse came from. "I thought that I would never catch up before something was broken!" He panted as he stopped in front of Gaara and began to help calm down the animal. "This one has always been a bit excitable…"

"You may wish to advise his owner to be less eager with the crop." Gaara stated as he reduced the sand wrapped around the animal. "There are numerous marks on his side and rear. If he is still with the owner that inflicted such marks, then there is little wonder why it was rather frantic to escape."

"Ah…" The man paused before chuckling nervously. "Yes. That is… quite true. This horse was a recent gift to my young master, the son of a Daimyō that is visiting at the moment. The boy is rather… excitable, and my master prefers to turn a blind eye to his son's actions…"

"Then advise him to do otherwise." Gaara frowned as the last of the sand returned to his gourd and he began to walk away. "If the boy thinks it is acceptable to treat the animals in his care this way now, it will only be a matter of time before he started treating his servants and advisors the same. It is best to address such behavior when they are young, before it takes hold and becomes more difficult to manage."

The servant paused for a moment before laughing nervously. "Ah… yes. I'll keep that in mind." He'd managed to calm the horse down enough that it would follow him without too much trouble. "Thank you again, ninja-san."

"Just make sure that this doesn't happen again. I can't always be around to prevent animals that wish to escape from accidentally harming civilians…" The red head sighed before walking away again, only barely aware of the curious looks the people there were giving him.

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

Sasuke panted heavily as he sparred again with Kimimaro. The Uchiha would be lying if he said that he wasn't frustrated with constantly fighting against this guy. Speed, stamina, strength, agility, precision… if it weren't for Sasuke's Sharingan, the pale elder teen would be better than him in close combat in every physical way imaginable. It was embarrassing! It was infuriating, and damn it, he was enjoying the entire thing WAY more than he should be! Kakashi was a taijutsu expert, sure, but the man was never as straightforward as this guy… hell, no one really was really this blunt and straightforward in fighting except maybe Lee, and the taijutsu expert didn't use a sword and wasn't nearly as ruthless as Kimimaro. It was a solid new experience for the Uchiha, and he was taking in every moment of it…

Crack! Kimimaro slipped in a kick that launched the younger boy several dozen meters away.

… When he wasn't getting his ass handed to him on a silver platter, at least.

"You let the fighting get to your head." Kimimaro droned in an unimpressed tone. "It left you open." The pale boy paused to look at his bone sword, noting the deep scratches from Sasuke's lightning streamed sword attacks before tossing it aside to take another one out of his shoulder. If he was to be perfectly honest, within the past two months, the Uchiha had progressed rather impressively. The cuts in his bone were deeper than they were before using only his lightning element… though the attack still would not paralyze him, since his bone was not only incapable of channeling electricity, but laced with his own chakra, preventing the lightning chakra from invading his body when their weapons clashed. The Uchiha's already impressive ability to read and react to his movements had also progressed with his increased speed. In terms of swordsmanship, the fellow bloodline user's skills had also cleaned up a bit, with crisper moves, less wasteful movements, and better judgment on how and when to attack. The younger chūnin still wasn't an immediate threat to Kimimaro in terms of swordsmanship, but the elder would admit that fighting Sasuke was at least somewhat more interesting and challenging than most other shinobi he had gone up against… and killed.

Pausing again after withdrawing his new weapon, the elder teen glanced at the other individual he had been sparring with frequently over the past couple of months. The girl in question had been shooting arrows for the entire morning over long distances. While this normally would not be that interesting for most people, the fact that almost half the time she shot an arrow, it turned into a sword and literally impaled her target warranted some interest. The girl known as Tenten had been performing this practice frequently when she had not been repeating her sword kata with that monstrous blade she called Zangetsu or those interesting black and white swords she produced occasionally, and she had been getting gradually faster with both her arrow firings and her weapon projecting. So much so that she no longer needed to recite the first line of that strange poem in order to recreate a copy of his bone sword, and only one stanza for the massive cleaver that Zabuza wielded… though he did notice that the quality of both tools and the girl's performance increased somewhat with the addition of more verses… not that he willingly gave her a chance when they fought now, anyways. Still… there was less hesitation in her movements. Despite being a female, she was capable of putting up better fights than most males… period.

His reasoning was further backed up as the girl somehow launched three copies of his sword from her bow within a second at her target, nearly passing all the way through lethal points.

Almost without even looking, the Kaguya parried and countered Sasuke's thrust with a knee, only for the smaller boy to barely dodge under it and escape before his head was cut off. "You were too hasty." Kimimaro droned.

Sasuke panted as he put some more distance between the two. "You weren't paying attention." He countered in an attempt to be smug, but failing due to his exhaustion.

Kimimaro frowned as he readied his blade. "It appears I will have to remind you why underestimating your opponents is unwise…"

Zabuza sighed as he watched the teens practice killing each other from the sidelines. It was times like this that he missed training Haku in the woods. Nothing really helped two people bond like the thrill of fighting for your lives with powers and skills that only you possessed, living off of the land, and beating the living shit out of each other in the process… though truth be told, some of that fun was taken away once he had found out that Haku was a girl when she actually started to develop some of her more feminine assets, but that only made their family relationship awkward for half a year at the most… a full year, tops…

Okay, so she may have threatened to use her hunter-nin lessons to separate the man's balls from the rest of his body in his sleep if he ever told anyone that story as soon as she began to develop some more public social skills, but the bond was all that really mattered… so long as he was still fully intact, at least.

Cracking his neck, the man waited to see if Kimimaro would still be up for a spar after maiming Sasuke. The bone boy was good, no if's, and's, or but's. Given the right training and a few more years' worth of experience, he could most likely be on the same level as Zabuza himself… but despite being obviously talented, the kid still had some growing up to do on multiple levels before he would beat the Demon of the Hidden Mist in a sword battle. So far, most of their matches had ended with the Kaguya lying on the ground next to an absolutely hacked beyond known reason bone sword and his opponent's cleaver under his neck. The kid was more agile than him, sure, but he had the longer weapon reach, power, and experience to cover that. In a raw hand to hand fight, he might be in a bit of trouble, but there was a reason why he was known and feared as a fucking swordsman, damn it, and one of the definite strongest next to Kisame… and possibly Mangetsu... but that was before his sword got its nice little upgrade, wasn't it?

Looking around, the man wasn't surprised to not see Scabbard anywhere. After clearly being pissed off by what Zabuza had said nearly two months earlier, the man had only occasionally come out to spar and give some advice to Sasuke and Tenten before going into his private workshop, where he was apparently busy working on a - or most likely a few dozen - projects. Orochimaru's other ex-slaves, other than Jūgo, had been out doing rounds often, and so far they didn't seem THAT pissed off at being assigned guard duty for life… well, at least when Kimimaro was around, anyways. Still, the green haired man's words had rung through the man's head constantly since he had heard them. It sounded to him as if it was something akin to what an old hermit would say in a moment of genius that only a handful of enlightened bastards would understand… but for the life of him, he couldn't make heads or tails out of the damn thing.

…Not that he was laboring under the idea that _he_ was enlightened. That'd be a laugh. Even so…

"All blades sing two songs…" Zabuza grunted to himself as he watched Kimimaro and Sasuke dance again swiftly before clashing their weapons together. "There's one…" He mused as the blades ringed in battle. Any swordsman that earned their beginners' blade had played in the song of battle before. "…But what about the other?"

"Stop." Stated a familiar, near emotionless voice from the hallway behind Zabuza, getting everyone's attention. Without even questioning the man's orders, the three teens training ceased what they were doing and approached the speaker. Scabbard stood in front of the group with his usual bored demeanor, though there were some bags under his eyes showing that he had not been sleeping enough lately. Looking around with his eyes, the man analyzed the children before him. "Tenten, Sasuke. Both of you have progressed significantly over these past two months in your respective fields of swordsmanship. I am proud of your development, and have no doubts that you both will become forces to be reckoned with as you grow older and practice your skills alongside your other training."

He turned to the eldest teen. "Kimimaro, though you still have trouble keeping your temper in check at times, you too are making progress. In addition to that, I have had been keeping checks on your medical records, and am pleased to say that your body has nearly completely recovered what it has lost from your disease and your time recovering from the operation. You will without a doubt become an incredibly powerful force should you maintain your training… however, you should remember that even the greatest men do not walk alone."

The teens nodded before Scabbard briefly turned to Zabuza… and then turned to the rest of the group again.

"Why am I not surprised?" The assassin grunted with a twitching eyebrow muscle, while Sasuke and Tenten sweatdropped at the scene. Kimimaro just stared disinterestedly.

"Now for the main reason why I have brought you three here for extensive swordsmanship training." Scabbard stated simply as he took out a poster. "In roughly a week, the Land of Iron is going to hold their infamous sword master tournament. It has two divisions: the 16 and older, and the 15 and younger division. This is mainly done so that those with some promise in the younger division won't be absolutely murdered by the older and more experienced warriors." Those listening to the man's explanation sweatdropped at the man's bluntness.

"Iron's sword master gathering?" Zabuza asked skeptically. "That event is on average almost as sketchy as the Chūnin Exam Konoha just had... minus the actual invasion. Missing-nin, rogues, and nutjobs from all over go to that thing when the doors open. Kiri would have tried to kill me if I went there when I was still a member of the 7 Swordsmen. There are some strong guys and Daimyō watching the event, sure, and the samurai there are pretty good at keeping the peace inside, but for the most part, it doesn't really bring any wanted attention your way for winning that thing. I heard that most of the winners get jumped by other participants as soon as they are outside the country's borders…"

"Regardless, I have already entered you three…" He pointed to the group that had come with him. "… as well as myself in the respective matches in order to not only test our abilities… but to also show off and promote my wares so that I can get more slaves… minions… pawns… customers…" There was a pause. "…I like money."

The people in front of the immortal deadpanned at him, clearly not amused at being used for such selfish reasons. "Is there any real incentive for us to do well in this?" Sasuke asked in an irritated tone.

"Well, for starters, there is a massive bonus for anyone in our group that wins their respective category… enough for Zabuza here to get out of debt from me." The lightning elemental started off jabbing a thumb at the suddenly hopeful man.

"No more being a butt monkey? I'm sold." The tallest one there said with a frantic slash happy gleam in his eyes.

"In addition to that, as Zabuza has said, this event will draw out some strong opponents for you to fight. It's a good way to expand your range of experiences quickly in the world." Scabbard explained in a matter of fact tone… before taking out some battle coats that had sponsoring logos on the back. "But really, events like this are primed for marketing, and since I'm paying you for an A-rank mission, you have no choice but to do what I say for this kind of thing."

The three Konoha ninja stared blankly at the man… knowing that somehow… this was going to blow up horribly in their faces in at least 4 different ways…

If only it were _only_ that many…

o. o. o.

Near the Land of Spring's borders:

"Well, that was an interesting experience." Naruto sighed as the caravan headed to its next destination.

"Interesting my ass!" Ino roared. "We were practically celebrities there! In Spring! The place where their Daimyō is a FREAKING ACTRESS!"

"Ino. We get it. You're pissed 'cause Anko caught you trying to sneak some rare poisonous flowers out of Spring before we left. Stop screeching about it already." Kiba signed as he covered his and Akamaru's ears.

"Those were some of the rarest specimens I could ever get my hands on!" The girl continued. "I would have to do at least two S-ranked missions to get my hands on all of them again!"

"Please calm down, Ino…" Hinata said patiently putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "It is likely that Anko-sensei knows how important and rare those flowers are, so she will most likely take care of them and store them away for when she can trust you with them again…"

"What part of 'Anko _cannot_ take care of plants' doesn't anyone understand?" Ino wept to the side.

"The part where she most likely knows better and will probably give them to your dad for safe keeping." Neji stated in a matter of fact tone.

"That's just as bad as the flowers dying…" Cried the Yamanaka. "Dad will be hanging those beauties over my head for years…"

"Speaking of beauties, did you guys check out those chicks going all over us while we were there?" Kiba grinned perversely. "Man, those women were hot!"

"Yes…" Hinata grunted in a rather strained tone. "They were rather… attractive… for the most part…"

Naruto sniggered. "Hey, remember when those guys accidentally tried to get a date with Neji and Sai 'cause they thought they were girls?"

"I was most confused by that event." Sai mused, clearly nowhere near as disturbed as Neji was. "Do I really look that feminine?"

Neji's eyebrow twitched. "Is it really that misleading that I like to take care of my hair more than the average male?"

"Yes." Replied the rest of the ninja to both questions… except for Lee, who tilted his head in a curious manner.

"I do not understand. I take care of my hair just as much as Neji does, however I was not mistaken for a girl…" The spandex wearing boy asked curiously.

Kin sweatdropped. "Lee, I have to be blunt; your eyebrows are the third most horrifying and least feminine thing I have ever encountered. The second is all of Orochimaru's past experiments, including himself, and the first is that hug you do with Gai-sensei."

"Seconded." Naruto agreed from his resting spot.

"Thirded." Kiba joined in without missing a beat.

"You really need some help Lee." Ino said in a pitying tone. "Tell you what, I'll take you to a good hairdresser's that I'm friends with when we get back home. It's not too late to join the reasonably sane side again…"

Hinata sighed as she watched Kin and Ino try to convince Lee to get a makeover… keyword: try. The following few weeks after the failed coup were both interesting and infuriating for the heiress. On the one hand, her group was indeed treated like heroes in the Land of Spring, which in itself was quite beautiful. The water was clean, the flowers were gorgeous, and watching the glaciers reflect the morning sun was simply breathtaking. There were times when she and Naruto had time to themselves where they would just relax, he would… willingly… form his foxy features and the two would just lie there for hours on end…

Unfortunately, since Naruto had not once, but TWICE saved the Land of Spring within a 5 month time period, the boy had gained more attention than anyone else in the capital city while they were there. Women of all ages attempted to flirt with him, to the point that the boy had to use his transformation technique to get anywhere on time. Hinata had to, on occasion, take… extreme measures in order to protect her boyfriend… thankfully, there was no permanent damage… hopefully.

Ghost, Hana, and Anko had stayed long enough to see the teens off, and in the process almost driven Koyuki's staff nuts with their merrymaking.

When asked why Ghost had raided Koyuki's underwear drawer, the man cheerfully replied that it was an exceptionally efficient place to hide lethal traps, and that he was merely doing his job.

When asked why he was doing so with a set of underwear on his head, the man cheerfully claimed that they weren't Koyuki's and that he was simply getting himself mentally prepared for the task he was doing…

Anko then proceeded to pin him to their charge's wall and cut him slowly and relentlessly for the next hour.

Hana spent the time apologizing rampantly for her teammate's actions and took charge of the newly defined underwear trap duty… The girl then spent the next hour banging her head against a wall for making and taking up a task labeled underwear trap duty… Which everyone agreed was the most obscure guard duty task name ever created.

As for the rest of the group, when they weren't making sure that Michiru's caravan wasn't being broken into or sabotaged, or protecting the man himself, or running away from newly acquired fans, the group had been enjoying the sights of the beautiful countryside. Kiba and Akamaru absolutely loved the wide open fields, Sai had taken the time to draw some more pictures for fun, Ino had bought some rare flowers, then had them taken away because they were all potent poison ingredients, Neji had been just walking around a bit, and Kin and Lee had done some more private taijutsu practicing.

"Hinata-san?" Hikaru's voice snapped Hinata out of her musings as the girl turned to see her youngest charge looking at her curiously.

"Yes, Hikaru-sama? What is it?" The Hyūga asked politely.

"About what happened during the movie…" He shifted around, trying to find the right words to say. "Why were you the only one that never left Papa and me in the seats?"

The girl tilted her head to the side confused, her longer hair hanging just past her shoulder blades. "Our job was to protect you two. My task for the night was to be your last line of defense while Naruto-kun and the others took care of the other tasks that we had planned in advance."

The boy didn't seem that happy with the answer. "So does that mean that you're one of the weaker guys in your group and that you couldn't help them?"

Before Hinata could respond, Naruto's laughing gained their attention. "Hinata-chan? Weak? Hah! Hikaru, the reason why we left her there with you was because next to me, she's the strongest out of all of us… and in the enclosed and delicate situation we were in, she might as well have been the strongest. Just because she didn't fight doesn't mean she didn't serve a purpose. If the enemy got past the others, Hinata-chan would be the only ones that would be able to ensure that you and your dad were safe. I could spare a few clones, but for the most part, I would be holding off the bulk of the forces in a worst case scenario while you escaped. Learning how to manage what you have is part of the main goal of being a leader…"

"Managing my ass!" Kiba yelled. "You spent nearly half your free time before the movie trying to look cool with that hood of yours so you wouldn't have to wear your mask during the movie!"

"And it was time well managed and spent." The blonde nodded with a convinced look on his face. Several hours before the movie had started, Naruto had taken his mask out to an empty field and destroyed the torture device with one of the most focused and overpowered Fūgadan he had ever made. He had yet to regret that action, if the content smile on his face when the subject was brought up was anything to go by.

"Oi ramen nutcase!" Kin called out as she noticed that the green fields of Spring country were beginning to die out and the weather was getting colder. "Where's our next goal? It's starting to get cold here!"

The jinchūriki picked himself up. "I thought I told you guys, we're going to Iron country next for some kind of sword master tournament. It's supposed to be pretty close. Apparently, it's a pretty big event for Daimyō and other big figures to watch, like the Chūnin Exams…" The blonde had recited the information that he had learned during his extra studies back in the academy. Ghost seemed pretty adamant on getting him to read up on the place, for some reason… "Anyways, Iron has samurai instead of ninja there. They focus more on their kenjutsu and reserves, where we work on stealth and tricks. From what I've heard, none of the shinobi nations have or will ever willingly touch the place unless it's being used as a place of neutrality for political meetings between the Kage." He popped some joints as he stretched. "But other than the fact that the place is cold as hell, I've heard that is tournament is beyond sketchy in a lot of ways. There's almost no restrictions on who can enter, and the prizes are good enough that a lot of missing-nin, normal nin, bandits, bounty hunters and other unlikeable bastards will be there. It's the main reason why we're all taking position with the Prince now while we travel." He turned to Neji and Hinata. "You two should probably wear your protectors over your forehead while you're in public. We know that your family is now all sealed, but I don't know how far word has spread, so it's best to play it safe."

The cousins nodded, seeing the logic in what the boy had advised.

"I am concerned." Sai spoke up. "If this location is as dangerous as you say, why are you still allowing us to go?"

Naruto shook his head. "In terms of the participants, yes, it is a bit unsavory, but Iron is reputed to be just as secure as the five great shinobi nations. The forces there will ensure that we'll be safe during our stay." He turned his attention forward. "It's leaving the country that has me slightly concerned. The moment we're outside the borders, all the nobles will be free game to the bandits and missing-nin… though they, in turn, will also be free game to the hunter-nin and bounty hunters as well. It's a very unstable situation…" He shrugged. "However, I personally think that we can handle anything thrown at us so long as it isn't an S-class missing-nin or something psychotic like that. There's eight of us here, and three of us are capable of feats of mass destruction, so there shouldn't be any major problems."

"You do realize that we ARE talking to the living incarnation of disproportional mission assignments, right?" Ino asked skeptically, getting nods from several other members of their group.

"Oooh. A butterfly!" Naruto squealed, clearly not paying any attention to Ino's statement. "You normally wouldn't see any out in this kind of temperature. This is so much more interesting than listening to Ino's doubting of my awesomeness…"

The rest of the ninja there deadpanned at Naruto's clear lack of concern.

"It's okay, Ino." Hinata laughed lightly though the others could tell she was trying to be polite. "You know by now that if something was truly wrong or out of our ability, then he would let us know…"

The Hyūga didn't tell the others that the blonde had been spending the entire trip to Iron pumping out at least twice as much chakra into his Seventh Sense… it was clear the boy wasn't taking any more chances, especially after he noticed that he was occasionally being spied on by those Iwa shinobi that were guarding another Daimyō in Spring. She was certain that the ninja there didn't pose enough of a threat so long as they all stayed together, but she couldn't help but shake the feeling that the blonde was trying to be on guard for something else…

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"Darui. A word before you leave." The Raikage said to the team of four, consisting of his advisor Darui, his brother's students Karui and Omoi, and their teammate's brother Atsui.

"Eh? What's up, Raikage-sama? If it's something dull, can it wait for when we get back?" Darui asked with a bored look on his face.

"Come on! I'm fired up and ready to go here!" Atsui yelled excitedly, annoying his teammates with his yelling. "I can't wait to show the Land of Iron how hot I am!"

"Doesn't he mean incredibly annoying?" Karui grunted with a twitching eyebrow.

"I miss Samui already." Omoi sighed.

"Quit your complaining and come here for a second." A grunted as he walked to a more secluded alleyway. He didn't have to worry about people trying to eavesdrop on their conversation; they feared his easily provoked wrath as much as they enjoyed his rule. "… I want you to get as much information on that Ōgakari man as you can while you're on the mission." The larger man grunted the second the shorter was within a safe distance.

"Huh?" Darui blinked. "Wasn't I going to do that already?"

A shook his head. "I haven't told anyone this yet, but during our initial conversation he got on my bad side and I almost threw him out of my office…"

"Almost?" The bored looking man raised an eyebrow. "You aren't normally the type to do things half assed when you're pissed off…"

A sighed. "Without even flinching, he paralyzed my arm using a technique with similar properties to my lightning armor. No seals, no twitching, nothing. From his reactions, he not only wasn't intimidated by me with my hand on his throat, but it was almost he didn't even see me as a threat. C said that he had high chakra reserves, but other than that, his element, and the fact that he makes weapons, we know nothing about this man, and it has me on edge."

The fellow black man frowned. "Do you think he means us harm?"

A snorted. "Heh. That's the most unbelievable bit. He's actually claiming to be trying to help us out with some kind of worst case scenario event in a few years." He shook his head. "No… despite how strong he is, there is no way we can simply trust him like that. I refuse to have an ally that's holding all of the cards without showing _any_ of them to me. Just play along with the mission, but if you go up against him in the tournament, milk him for all he's worth to see what his abilities are…" He frowned. "He claims to have a spy system set up throughout the shinobi nations, and he knows about Bee and Yugito… so sooner or later, your abilities will be known to him eventually, since I trust you more than most of my other followers… if he hasn't already…"

Darui's eyes widened. "Oi oi. You don't mean that I should use my…"

"If the situation calls for it, yes." A frowned.

"Man… I wish this mission was going to be duller than this…" Darui moaned, really not looking forward to the upcoming fights now. "Anything else?"

A smirked. "Yeah. Win, and show everyone why Kumo is the strongest shinobi village… as well as making sure those brats don't embarrass us too much."

"Those three?" Darui sighed with half closed eyes again. "You honestly have way too much confidence in my abilities, Raikage-sama."

"Stop complaining and do what I tell you!" The bigger man yelled childishly while shaking a fist and inadvertently gaining the attention of everyone within hearing distance.

o. o. o.

In a cave somewhere:

Several transparent figures phased into view around a small lantern. "Report." Ordered the leader.

"I've bagged us some more bounties." Grunted the masked figure without emotion. "They posed no real challenge. I'll have the money into the accounts by the end of the week."

"You should have seen the latest one." Sniggered Hidan. "He was trying to protect this slut he had the gall to call a wife before I killed them both. Idiot didn't put up a fight, but he did last a while after I cursed him. Jashin-sama would be sated with their tributes…"

"Your god and your prayers are annoying and take too much of my time. And I value that more than your life." Kakuzu grunted irritably.

"Silence." Pain ordered, causing the two men to stop their bickering before it got out of hand. "I have a new task for you. Are you aware of the sword master tourney in Iron?"

Kakuzu snorted. "Know of it? That event is a bounty hunter's wet dream. I hate bragging, but I believe I hold the record for grabbing the most heads after a single event inside the borders of Iron. In fact, I'm fairly certain you first contacted me during one of my vacations paid for by that hunt…"

"Ugh." Hidan rolled his eyes. "I don't know what's worse. Listening to you dream about money again or talking about those annoying sword master types. All that bushido crap seriously gets on my fucking nerves…"

"Enough." The leader stated. "Since you are already familiar with the event, this mission should go even better than originally anticipated. Your task is as expected: obtain as much finance though bounties and other means as possible without drawing attention to yourself or the organization."

"Huh. This should actually be interesting." Kakuzu mused. "… Rumor has it that Zabuza Momochi is going to be there, as well as some ninja from Konoha, Kumo… hell, there's even word that Kiri's joining the fun too. … Then there's that obnoxious weapon thief that's going around calling himself the Kenkage (Shadow of Blades). If we don't get a big bounty like Zabuza, we could make way with getting our hands on some quality weapons to pawn…"

"I care not who you go for, so long as it benefits our stores and it doesn't attract more attention to us." Pain frowned. "Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, and Sasori have already encountered Konoha shinobi… including Zabuza Momochi, and they have informed me that the Leaf are somehow aware of our future plans. I would prefer it if your identities were not revealed so early to the enemy as well. We need to have some form of discretion before we begin to hunt the jinchūriki… or it may prompt them to change our timetable." There was a brief pause as he frowned at the pair. "I do not want to waste my time adjusting the organization's plans…"

Hidan sighed in an exasperated manner. "Fine, MOM. We'll stay away from the big bad Leaf people unless we know we can kill them all in a single swoop. Happy?"

The leader closed his eyes emotionlessly. "You have your orders…" He muttered before his image disappeared.

Kakuzu shook his head. "Your mouth really will be the death of you… much to my ire…"

Hidan smirked. "Aw, you really care for me that much, Kakuzu?"

The elder man glared at his partner. "No… I only was expressing my dissatisfaction that I won't be the reason." His image disappeared.

The immortal's image stood there for several seconds in confusion before he finally understood what the heart stealer had implied. "Wait… Damn it, Kakuzu! I swear I will sacrifice you to Jashin-sama for that!"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

The night was dark, perfect for shinobi both in and out of the village. The guards were active, doing patrols, keeping an eye out for invaders, traitors, spies, and anyone who could do harm to the village…

…It's a shame they weren't keeping an eye out for idiots, too, or they might have caught sight of a big man dressed in white armor with 7 swords on his back and a giant bag over his shoulder sneaking out of the side of the village in a very unstealthy manner while humming corny background music, tripping over a rock, and falling down the steep slopes of the mountainous region and into a ditch that hid him from the nearby patrol that had arrived to investigate the noise.

"You see anything?" Asked one of the chūnin to his partners.

"Nah." Shrugged another. "Probably just one of the local mountain lions accidentally causing a small rock slide again."

"Yeah… let's get back up. It's a pain to do patrols on the base level…" Moaned a third as the others agreed and jumped back up to the tops of the peaks.

After a few minutes, the almost caught man peaked his head out again and breathed out slowly. "Whew. I ain't gonna boast. That was damn close." Bee gathered his things again and struck a pose in the direction of the Raikage's tower. "Sorry bro, I'm no no-show. I go with the flow, and it's pointin' to the show!" He snorted. "Can't blow the flow, bro, so off to the show I go." He cracked his neck and turned around. "I am not going to stay in the shade… while that cool assed bastard gets to test his blade…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere outside of the Land of Spring:

Ghost sighed as he waltzed leisurely up the tree trunk he was on before abruptly chakra hopping with enough force to launch him cleanly to the large branch of another tree, where he continued to walk along it without missing a beat. A few seconds later, he leaned to the side while using his chakra control to stay on the branch until he hopped again to another branch, where he walked briskly in a spiral manner up the trunk… only to suddenly cut off his chakra control and fell backwards down the trunk until his control kicked in again and he turned, walking around the side.

There was no hesitation, no rush, and no focus in his movements… and no indication that he was paying any attention to the giant snakes and drills of death that were constantly on the verge of killing him. The only thing preventing him from getting hit was rapidly changing direction and position by walking around the trees, his natural falling, and his sudden chakra hops. God, did he love screwing with people with minimum effort…

"Damn it!" Anko somehow roared despite being out of breath as Ghost fell to the side of the branch and landed on another one before casually hopping out of her striking distance… dodging three massive snakes, a slew of kunai, and one of Hana's triplets in the process. "How the hell is he making this look so easy?!"

"Because I'm just that awesoooome!" The man grinned cheerfully as he flew by from another hop. "Come on, Anko! Come on, Hana! You'll never get me to touch the ground at this rate!"

"Damn it." Hana grunted as she landed next to Anko. "We need to think about this. He's not moving that fast, he's limited in where he can go, and he's not using any of his stealth techniques. We should be able to get him in these conditions…" She glanced at her partner. "Hey… do you think you should use…"

"Not when he can just jump out of the way." Anko grunted. "We have to catch him completely off guard with it while cutting off his escape routes or it would be useless. Mass destruction techniques are out of the equation, otherwise we could get into trouble with the country…" She paused. "We need some traps… ones that he can miss if he's goofing around too much or restricting his movement…" She began to grin. "Here's what we'll do…"

 _'It seems that the two are up to something…'_ The immortal mused as he dodged another one of Hana's triplets and sensed Anko throwing kunai around seemingly randomly at trees nearby. ' _Wires and tags… she's restricting my movements… so next would be…'_ The man smirked as he saw the triplets attacking him at an angle that would at least prompt most shinobi to dodge in the directions of the traps. Of course, if he had allowed himself to use more of his powers… or even just actually jump from tree to tree instead of chakra hopping, he could have gone in another direction, but the triplets had gone for the branch he was on, the position he was at right now, and the branch that he would had hopped to if it weren't aimed at… so his only escape was to lean to his side and hop to a branch that was near the traps, only to hop again due to the fact that several snakes were attacking his landing point and waiting to strike at several more, leaving only the trap invested areas as his 'safe' escape. Because the snakes could hit him in midair and he'd restricted his Seventh Sense to just see things, he wouldn't be able to dodge their strikes if he went in their general direction…

"So you're finally understanding my movement patterns… but that can only help you so much… and wasting your chakra on summoning so many snakes to route me here must mean you have some way to finish this exercise…" He grinned as he found himself on a tree surrounded by wires and exploding tags. "So what are your last few moves?" He chuckled before wincing at a momentary pain in his head and body… he may have rushed himself into training the two a tad soon after all…

A massive snake wrapped around the base of the tree and shot up the trunk, coiling as it did so in an attempt to disorient its prey only to hiss in annoyance as he hopped up suddenly to a higher branch close to the trunk and walk around the side quickly in order to dodge the drill that turned his landing spot to splinters… and find himself without a foothold or place to jump to, as the tree he was on had fewer branches than the others and the nearby trees were cut off by the wires. Below him was a very eager snake and above him was a grinning Anko with both hands pointing to him. "This can't be good…" He mumbled as he saw the familiar 10 orange snakes peek out of her coat.

"Hidden Art: Sidewinder!" Anko shouted as the deceptively small reptiles blurred from view and seemingly scorched the air with fire in a massive squiggling area attack to him…

The man paled dramatically as what he could determine was the attack encompassed the entire trunk of the tree as it raced down to him. Taking no chances, the wind user hopped at an angle immediately from his position through a small gap in the trap wires, only to get hammered by Hana as she jumped out just as Anko released her attack to get the man. The immortal cried out in pain as he flew downwards to the ground and hit it hard… exploding into a cloud of smoke.

The two women landed to hear the sound of the original, who was clapping. "Very impressive. I was estimating that you two wouldn't have been able to catch my clone with this exercise for at least another week. Your speed, stamina, and planning abilities have all improved remarkably…" He paused as he looked at the tree that Anko had nearly killed his clone on. The bark had long, sharp, integrate scorch marks that were still smoldering. "You designed that last move with me in mind, didn't you? I had a lot of trouble determining how far away it was because their small size and the fire distorting my senses…"

The woman pouted and crossed her arms. "I was hoping to save it for a better occasion, but now seemed as good a time as any. Besides, I thought you would like having a speed oriented technique around that you actually can't handle straight up."

"Who said I didn't?" The man grinned before walking forward… and stumbling in the process, causing the girls to catch his surprisingly limp body. "Damn… guess I kinda pushed it, huh?" He sighed in a slightly more tired tone.

Hana frowned. "You just went through… THAT again less than 12 hours ago, yet you insisted on training us for the last 4 hours straight without rest. You needed some decent sleep again in the first place, but with everything else, including your time restraints, it's a miracle you haven't passed out yet. I know you're good at conserving your stamina, but even you have limits, Ghost…"

"At least you brought that portable barrier along with you this time so that no one would find out about it…." Anko sighed as she picked the man up over her shoulder before pausing. "So… it happens for your entire family during New Year's, huh?"

"Yeah." The blind man sighed. "Waltz practically blows up, Scab's fire nearly fries every nerve in his body, and Crypt does contortions that even he has trouble dealing with… while on fire… but as long as we have the barriers with us, we can prevent most people from finding out…" He sighed as his body went completely limp, indicating that he had finally let up on his restraints. "I'm gonna sleep for a bit… doctor's orders." He grinned in an already halfway unconscious tone. "You two have gotten a lot stronger… I'm glad…"

The women looked at the man as if he was a kicked puppy as he fell asleep within seconds. "You know, it's hard to stay pissed at him when he gets like this…" Anko moaned almost angry as she shifted him on her back and began travelling back to their camp

"Even if he did it on purpose… we can't really ignore the crap he goes through." Hana shook her head. "I mean, he is helping us train still…"

Silence…

"So how should we mess with him when he wakes up this time?" Anko grinned, the depressing mood all but forgotten.

Hana smirked. "I actually learned this new medical technique that can change the color of a person's skin by controlling proteins and blood vessels. Mix that with some of the triplet's fur and we can make him think he has a rare fungus on his nut sack for at least the next few days…"

"And who said that medics can't use their abilities for anything other than the betterment of mankind?" Anko laughed evilly as Ghost's body began to shake subconsciously…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Shadow sighed contently in the public hot springs with Zuzushi just as happy on her head. It was a beautiful day. The birds were singing. Several local squirrels were torn to shreds, and she had just finished the requests from several of the other clans for some research data, landing her a large amount of money that she was going to spend before Scab got back and took it all to pay off some of the massive debt she owed him…

… There was that small issue that New Year's had passed, so she had to help take care of Waltz and Crypt as they suffered the annual feedback… but the group had gone through so many cases of the event that other than the fact that it was still nearly lethal to watch her family go through that kind of punishment, she was pretty much immune to the event.

… Well… Ghost's still made her a bit squeamish if she watched for too long… but that was quite understandable.

Oh yeah, there was also that feeling she had that something horrifically skewed and disturbingly chaotic was going to happen to several of her siblings soon… but then again, Crypt was in the same universe as she was, so that was pretty much a given anyways…

"Oh? Well, this is a surprise…" Mused a new voice walking in to the bath, gaining the woman's attention. In front of her approached Yūgao and Kurenai, both wrapped in towels. "I didn't think you went to the public baths."

Shadow shrugged. "Eh. I do every once in a while. Relax, talk to some of the other girls, make suggestive noises loud enough to disturb the guys over the wall, then capitalize on them trying to peek on me to get a free meal or some drinks out of a cute one before leaving them up to dry for the night…"

Yūgao blinked owlishly. "Wow… you really don't do your crazy half assed do you?"

The immortal struck a pose. "It's part of my girlish charm…"

Zuzushi snorted. "Sqeh! Squeak chirp chirp!"

"For the last time, I really am a girl damn it! Honestly, you and the rest of the family are all the same!" Shadow roared defiantly. "I have boobs! I have a nice ass! I have a hole where a penis would be on a guy! Commonly known as a vagina! I am a GIRL!"

The dragon didn't look convinced and shook her head in a pitying motion as the other two women wisely didn't comment on the argument.

"You know…" Yūgao mused as Shadow's tirade did not stop. "Considering how energetic and chaotic she is… you'd think that she would have found a way to make her breasts bigger than they are now… if only to mess with even more people's heads…"

"I thought the same thing." Kurenai nodded as she eased herself into the water. "I found out that she did at some point, but it turns out that she preferred being crazy without having back pain and spending more money on bras that could double as combat armor." The genjutsu mistress sighed in agreement. Her rather large assets had an equally large maintenance cost. Even normal bras meant to deal with breasts of that size were rather thick and had less variation to them due to the fact that they were designed to hold them in place as a priority. (A/N: It's true. I have a friend who was a G cup before she got a breast reduction. I swear you could give a person a concussion with those things if you swing them hard enough…) Bigger cups for kunoichi often required special seal-laced combat bras to keep them in place… though she heard that Tsunade had some other sort of way to adapt to her rather impressive size… Shizune had more than once hinted that the leader of Konoha actually didn't wear a bra and instead just wore thick clothing to give the illusion that she was…

 _'Hmm…I sense a way to make money off of the misery of others…'_ Shadow mused as she tried to throttle the dragon who was gliding casually just out of the woman's reach. ' _Special size reducing bras that decrease the mass to lower back pain when put on, yet still maintain shape and size for later happy fun sex time. I'm fairly certain I have a few designs in storage somewhere, and Crypt can make them in this world's sealing language…yay reducing debt!'_

Splash! Shadow fell into the springs due to her carelessness, causing Zuzushi to laugh in her own squeaking way before she perched herself on Kurenai's head.

The genjutsu mistress sighed as she pet the dragon resting on her. "Well at least it's nice to know that there's someone reasonably sane in that messed up clan of yours…"

Yūgao leaned forward and hesitantly pet the purring silver-white and pink lizard as well. "You know, I've never really seen her up close before. She really is beautiful." She turned to Shadow. "Where did you find her?"

The Ōgakari blinked before shaking her head and smiling in an almost bitter fashion. "We didn't. She found us."

The women blinked before looking at the dragon. "You have some peculiar tastes in people to travel with, you know that?" Kurenai asked worriedly, only to hear what seemed to be snickering from the mystical beast. "I take back what I said about you not being messed up. I bet you're part of the reason why they're so twisted."

Yūgao sweatdropped as she saw the dragon adopt a 'Who? Me?' look. "Just tell me that she's at least not as bad as you or your brother Crypt…"

Shadow looked at her evilly smiling tenant for several seconds before shivering. "Oh, we would all be proper fucked if that was the case, hands down."

That comment obviously did not give the two residents any pleasant feelings. "Right…" Kurenai laughed nervously, feeling much more nervous about the dragon on her head now. "Ah, yes I wanted to ask you, how was that last mission of yours, Shadow? You were gone for a while. Did you do have some trouble with it?"

Leaning back into the bath, Shadow shook her head. "That? Nah. It took a while because I had to enslave and reprogram several kids that were very twisted in the head while helping another with a serious case of multi-personality disorder where the evil side turns him into a psycho that's almost more annoying to deal with than Crypt."

Yūgao and Kurenai blinked, looked at each other, blinked again, and sighed, wordlessly agreeing to not bother to try and understand or translate what the girl was saying. Even if what she said was completely true, odds are that they would only get a major headache from getting the entire story.

A soft giggling from outside the wall snapped the women (and dragon) out of their musings.

"Great." Yūgao moaned, knowing exactly who it was. "Can you take care of it this time, 'Nai?"

"Yeah, just give me some time to figure out which one I want to use this time…" The Genjutsu Mistress grunted, going through all the anti-pervert illusions she knew in her head.

"Oooh! Oooh! Fun fact time!" Shadow grinned happily as Zuzushi floated to her and sunk into her skin. "Dragons don't mind eating toads!"

"What?" Asked three voices from around the woman before the bottom of the bath grew dark…

And a significantly larger Zuzushi shot out of the water into the air with a cry before diving again to where the giggling came from.

"Oh FUCK!" Roared the voice of a familiar voice of a certain Sannin before the dragon crashed to where he was hiding.

" **Come back, toad! I just want to climb on your head!"** Shouted the happy, echoing, deep, female voice from the other side of the fence before more explosions were heard.

"The funny thing is that she really does." Shadow chuckled as Jiraiya's girlish cry for help was interrupted by the sounds of something significantly larger than him hitting things. "There are few things she loves more than the hunt… and relaxing in springs isn't one of them."

Yūgao blinked. "Wait… she can actually speak? I thought that you were just playing along with the sounds she made."

The immortal woman cocked her head to the side. "What? I thought I told everyone already that her vocal cords don't work when she's that small and that my family simply learned to translate what she was saying…" She put on a thoughtful look. "I could have sworn I did…"

Boom!

" **This is the best hunt I have ever had from a toad!"** The dragon's voice laughed happily from a small distance away.

"I am afraid of the hunt! Why won't the hunt stop?!" Jiraiya's voice wailed from the same general location.

"You know… I've always wondered if that old guy is a masochist…" Shadow added off handedly. "I mean, he's always going after Tsunade and peeking on the jōnin kunoichi springs… and getting caught… on purpose…"

o. o. o.

Land of Iron:

"Ehh. I'm so bored…" Suigetsu moaned childishly as he leaned against the side of a building and drank from his water bottle. "We don't even know if those guys from Konoha are going to show up. Honestly… Zabuza? Going to those Leaf pansies? Sometimes I wonder what the Mizukage drinks every morning to believe such a cracked out story like that…"

"Suigetsu! It's not right to disrespect Mizukage-sama like that!" Chōjurō lectured his teammate while they attempted to scout the potential competition.

"Please. Stop your bitching and at least just say that you have a crush on the woman already." The white haired teen sighed. "Everyone knows you do. Hell, we even know you have pictures of her you that you keep to yourself…"

"Wh-what?" The boy squeaked with a massive blush. "Ho-how do you know that?"

"You just told me, dumbass." The more lax of the two rolled his eyes before walking past him and patting him on the shoulder. "Thanks for being so stupid, though. You just won me 500 ryō…" He shook his head. "Honestly, how the hell you get handed Hiramekarei and not me I will never know…" He glanced longingly at the massive sword on the glasses wearing boy's back. "Lucky bastard…"

"It's not my fault you skipped so many classes and broke so many rules that you were considered too undisciplined to use it." The meeker boy sighed. "I might be gullible, but at least I'm the one with the sword."

"Yeah, yeah." Suigetsu mumbled as he glanced down at the entrance to the capitol to the Land of Iron again. "Well, this is interesting." He mused as he watched a rather long caravan travel through. "Chōjurō, check it out. This long assed group has Konoha guards… and all of them look younger than both of us." He sniggered. "For a noble that seemed to have enough bread to pay for all that crap, you'd think he'd at least shell enough for better protection than a bunch of genin…"

"That's part of the reason why you didn't get the sword…" The blue haired boy sighed as he went over to look at the younger shinobi. "You're always underestimating people…" He paused as he noticed that the hooded boy sitting on top of the leading carriage turned to look directly at them for a good while before looking in another direction. "He noticed us…" Chōjurō whispered.

"Not bad…" Suigetsu grinned. "From this distance, to catch us so quickly means that he must be one hell of a sensor. I wouldn't mind fighting him if he was in the tournament… a closer look tells me that he might actually put up a fight…" He paused as he looked at the other ninja with him. "Is… is that idiot wearing nothing but a thick spandex suit? Are… those eyebrows?"

Chōjurō blinked and used his glasses to magnify his vision on the noted boy… and paled. "I… I think so… how has he not frozen to death yet? From the rate the caravan is moving, the group should have been moving in this cold for at least a week…"

"FLAMES OF YOUUUUTH!" The boy shouted up into the air for seemingly no reason whatsoever, shocking not only the ninja from Kiri… but apparently his teammates, the horses, the samurai guarding the building, and even nature itself enough to cause a few minor avalanches nearby.

The two teens blinked silently for several minutes in shock and confusion as the boy's teammates beat the living shit out of him to keep him quiet. "All in favor of pretending that never happened?" Suigetsu asked in a bewildered state.

"Y-yeah…" The swordsmen trainee agreed shakily.

The pair watched in silence as the long trail of horses and carriages traveled through the town and to the more expensive areas. Both made a mental note to try and find them later to see if they could gather any information on Zabuza…

Several hours had passed, and the pair had continued to do nothing but watch in semi-boredom. There had been countless random ninja and rōnin walking through, all trying to look intimidating… although there was this one idiot from Kumo that had 7 small swords on his back that seemed to be especially full of himself… and cold, granted that he was wearing nothing on his upper body but the standard Kumo jacket over his chest and some bracers on his arms. Suigetsu had had a good time laughing at that guy before he disappeared quickly into town, no doubt to get something warm to wear…

"Report." Stated an emotionless voice from behind the two boys, causing them to turn around to see one of the hunter-nin that came along with their team.

"My ass is frozen and so are my drinks, sir!" Suigetsu mock saluted as he shook one of his water containers to show that the contents were no longer moving.

"There hasn't been any sign of Zabuza-san." Chōjurō reported before his teammate got them both into trouble. "A few hours ago, there was a noble guarded by two teams of Konoha ninja. They looked to be all genin from their age, but one of them noticed us as soon as he entered the gate. They didn't do anything, but it might mean that they are stronger than assumed."

The hunter nodded. "Indeed. There has been word that Konoha's most recent batch of genin is been quite remarkable in skill. It would not be wise to underestimate them if the ones you saw are indeed them. Since they were guarding a noble, does that mean that they went to the upper class section of the capital?"

Both boys nodded. "They were with that ridiculously huge caravan with the tricked out leading carriage." Suigetsu pointed out. "It's kinda hard to miss."

"Understood." The hunter stated without moving. "Was there anything else to note since your last report?"

The two boys looked at each other before shrugging. "Other than an idiot from Kumo who obviously didn't know what the weather was like here, not really." Suigetsu replied casually.

"I see…" The man said in what seemed like a disappointed tone before taking out a small booklet. "Ao-san had forgotten to do this earlier as he was busy managing our tactics for dealing with Zabuza, but since you two are up here, now is as good a time as any. This is the latest copy of our Bingo Book. You both are to memorize the individuals inside and see if you cannot find any of those people here. This event is notorious for attracting bounties and hunters alike. Just make sure not to start anything without finding us first. If something happens, you are on your own… before… and after the fighting is done…" The man let his threat hang in the air for a moment before turning away. "Keep my warning in mind before you do anything…"

The boys gulped before slowly turning to get back to their reconnaissance…

Unknown to any of the Kiri shinobi, while they had been busy talking, an eager looking wolf-like man had walked through the gates…

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Iron:

"You know… for being a cheap ass, Scab-sensei really went all out for us this time." Tenten mused as she honed the edge of Zangetsu while she and Sasuke relaxed in the surprisingly toasty room they were sharing.

"I think he just hates being stuck in a cold room as much as everyone else." Sasuke shrugged as he looked at his sword skeptically. Scabbard said he had tweaked it before they had left the hidden ba, but so far he had yet to notice anything about it yet… "Besides, odds are he'll find some way to make it Zabuza's fault and land him with the bill."

"That goes without saying." The weapon mistress rolled her eyes before inspecting her own blade, which she had fine-tuned as well during their two month training excursion. "So what do you think about the tournament? Expecting any decent competition?"

Sasuke crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall he was on. "There's no point worrying about that now. We're going to enter the matches. There's probably going to be some tough competition… but to be honest, I think we're the people to beat. Those ass kickings Kimimaro gave us were unrivaled by anyone remotely close to our age. With my Sharingan and that faking power of yours… it's easy to see at least one of us getting to the finals."

Tenten nodded. "True, but don't let your head grow too big just yet, Sasuke. If we come across another Kimimaro here, we're both screwed hands down, and you know it." She put Zangetsu on its holster on her back as she got up. "Come on. I'm gonna check out the forges here and see if they have any interesting weapon making techniques and tools there. We gotta move in pairs at least since there's a lot of sketchy people around now."

Sasuke glared at Tenten. "And let you get a fresh arsenal of weapons to use for when we fight? No way. I'm curious, but not stupid."

Tenten crossed her arms. "Come on! It's not like any of them are going to be as dangerous as Kubikiri Hōchō or any of the other weapons I'm gonna see when the fighting finally starts. Half my power is based on the history of the weapon too, you know." She grinned as she eyed the dark boy's weapon. "If you come, I'll tell you how Scab-sensei tweaked your sword…"

The Uchiha paused momentarily before making eye contact with the girl. "Throw in dinner and you have a deal."

The weapon specialist frowned. "Hey, isn't it polite for the man to pay for the food?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and walked past her. "First of all, we aren't dating. I have Sakura and you have Neji. Second, you have so many weapons on you that even though you're a girl, people would still say you're overcompensating for something."

The brunette paused for a moment before frowning and following her friend outside. "Why does EVERYONE SAY THAT?" She roared, slamming the door behind her.

A few minutes later, the two were deep in the middle of town looking at all the weapons the local smiths had for sale. According to Tenten, Iron was famous for its weaponry and its rich supply of high-quality metal ores. She would have said more, but she had entered fangirl mode as soon as the first shop came into view and she began handling every weapon she was legally able to get her hands on… before begging the owners to touch the stuff behind the counter.

"You do realize that if you acted like this around Scabbard, he would most likely blast you halfway across the city." Sasuke deadpanned, knowing full well of the Ōgakari's ingrained fear and hatred of fangirls.

"So shiny and deadly and sharp and so many folds and long and pretty and innocent and…" Tenten swooned over a particular katana that the owner had foolishly let her examine.

"How long should I be expecting her to act like this?" The owner who was obviously a blacksmith asked Sasuke with a raised eyebrow.

"Depends. For this blade or for the entire time she's here?" The Uchiha sighed.

"You know… that's a pretty interesting sword she has now that I'm getting a good look at it… good quality too…" The owner mused. "Who made it?"

"She did." Sasuke replied with a casual shrug. "It's one of the best weapons she's made. It's called Zangetsu."

"She did?" He laughed. "Well… I have seen stranger… Zangetsu eh?" The thick man mused as he scratched his chin. "That sword could fetch a pretty penny if sold to the right buyer… she's looking to sell, right?"

Tenten shook her head. "No. I'm just looking around and killing time before the tournament tomorrow…"

The blacksmith blinked for several seconds before laughing. "Hahaha! You? Girl, even if you had some skills with a sword, I'm afraid that you are out of your league this time. The finest young samurai are in the junior division are going to be in the event. Better to cut your losses now than embarrass yourself. Ninja can't match up to a samurai in a sword fight…"

Before Sasuke and Tenten could express their opinion on the matter, the snickering of a new voice cut in. "I wouldn't count those two out just yet, old man. I've happen to have seen both of them fight before, and I'd say they both have a damn good shot of getting to the main event…"

The three listeners turned to see a fairly large masked man with a large broadsword on his back wearing a Kusa headband. Sasuke's eyes widened. "You… you're from that group we fought in Wave… Zurich…"

"I was there during the Chūnin Exams helping out with the counter strike." The man smirked. "Both of you definitely left a strong impression on me." He noted the modified chūnin vests the two were wearing. "You both got promoted, I see. I'm not surprised, not after how much hell you raised in your matches." He turned to the irritated smith. "Normally you'd be right about ninjas and samurai, but the thing about us ninja is that we have a wider range of arts that we can choose to specialize in. Don't forget that time a few decades ago, the 7 Swordsmen from Kiri entered the event. That poor samurai didn't even make it past the first member…" He turned to Sasuke. "Speaking of those guys, how's that homicidal psycho Zabuza? I heard that he's in the tourney too."

Sasuke shrugged. "Same as normal. Taking missions. Being bossed around by Scabbard-sensei. Training with an upgraded Kubikiri Hōchō…"

Zurich twitched. "Shit… the rumors were true? I thought he just learned a new jutsu or something." He shook his head. "And here I thought I had a shot of taking him out after all the training I did…" He sighed. "Anyone else from Konoha in the adult division?"

Tenten put on a thoughtful look. "Well, other than Scab-sensei and Zabuza-sensei, no one else that we know, really…"

Zurich paled dramatically. "Wait… Scab as in Scabbard Ōgakari? An Ōgakari is actually in this thing too? Oh, fuck me. There goes any hope of making a name for myself here… maybe I should just resign now and save myself an ass kicking…"

The man's musings were interrupted by the gleeful laughter from the entrance of the building. "An Ōgakari is here? And it's the smart one to boot! Here I thought this gathering was going to be dull! This must be my lucky day!" The listeners turned to see a wolfish and rather happy looking man leaning against the doorway laughing happily, a long straight sword on his back. "Ah! Thanks for that! I needed some good news after I ran into that asshole Kurotetsu. Those fangirls of his are almost as annoying as he is. Kenkage my ass." He shook his head and sighed. "Hopefully he'll run into the Ōgakari before the matches start. If I remember correctly, the smart one goes nuts around fangirls." The dark man chuckled as he turned to leave. "Tell that lightning bastard that the Longclaw will look forward to seeing him during the matches…" He paused. "Oh… and tell Zabuza to be careful. I've seen a lot of Kiri hunters around here lately…" (Trans: Kurotetsu = Black Iron/Steel. Iron is more literal, but the intended meaning could be either.)

"Longclaw… Kurotetsu…" Zurich blinked, but never taking his eyes off of the man till he disappeared. "I've heard those names before somewhere…" He shook his head. "Ah, whatever. That guy looks like the type to step up and show himself while we're in the preliminaries anyway." He glanced over at the clearly confused store owner. "But as I was saying before, don't underestimate these two. They were damn strong before and I'm almost scared of what they could be capable of doing now… especially if they have been training for this thing for a while." He walked outside the building. "You wanna come? Kuma and Rika are here too."

"You're potential opponents for our teachers in the upcoming matches and you're from another village." Sasuke stated. "Do we really look that stupid to you?"

The older man shrugged. "No, but then again, you know that we aren't the types to do something dirty to Kakashi's students. I just thought you might like the offer." He paused. "Wait… Kurotetsu… shit… One last thing." He looked more serious at the two genin. "Watch out for that guy the wolf man mentioned. Kurotetsu is the name of a borderline S-ranked rogue with both samurai and ninja training. He's famous for stealing powerful weapons from the people he's beaten and using them against future opponents. He's been calling himself the Kenkage lately and he has a bit of a following. If he's here, that can only mean he's either going to try to win the tournament, or he's scouting for new weapons to steal." He nodded to Tenten. "Either way, you might want to hide that blade of yours 'til the preliminaries, just in case."

The two chūnin looked warily at each other before turning back at the Kusa-nin. "Thanks." Sasuke grunted with narrowed eyes as Tenten took out a scroll and sealed away Zangetsu.

"Anytime, kid." Zurich grinned. "Quick question. If you two fought each other in the finals, who should I put my money on?"

Tenten and Sasuke briefly looked at one another, sizing their teammate up in their minds… before looking at Zurich again and shrugging. "No clue." Both replied casually as if they weren't just asked who would be able to kill the other in a sword fight.

And they both honestly meant it.

o. o. o.

In another section of Iron's marketplace:

Scabbard Ōgakari was a silent and practical, but incredibly experienced and downright flashy and overpowered individual. While physically he was never going to win any interdimensional contests that had the fate of one or several worlds at stake, he had still fought and played mind games with and against Gods, winning far more frequently than he lost. He had on more than one occasion recreated worlds to fit his own desires. His mind, which was already enhanced by supernatural means, was further experimented on by himself until he could perform the most complex algorithms and molecular reactions with his mind as if it were basic mathematics. He was renown in many circles in both mortal and immortal realms for literally being one of, if not THE most powerful existences ever with the insane amount of energy he possessed from his fire…

…Said god-like individual was hiding behind Zabuza, almost literally scared shitless… from a cocky looking large man in hybrid samurai-ninja armor and several swords on his back… and the large crowd of swooning women behind him…

"Fangirls…" He growled as if he had been living in a cave for centuries.

Technically, he had done that once… but to be fair, it was a VERY nice workshop with hacked cable, internet, indoor pool and springs, and easy to access from the local delivery boys. He tipped very generously.

"Why did that blonde brat decide to let me live?" Zabuza moaned to himself. "He could have just let me die and save me from this shit, but NOOOO, he had to drag me along with the crazy ones…"

"Well, if it isn't Zabuza Momochi." Sniggered the large man with his arms crossed, obviously not caring if he made a scene or not. He had long brown hair and a fairly good looking face with a scar that only seemed to make him more attractive to his fans. "I heard you were going to be here… but I didn't think you would actually show your face… oh wait, you still haven't." He sniggered.

Zabuza deadpanned. "I hang out with Kakashi Hatake back in Konoha, dumbass. The mask jokes got old after an hour. Please tell me the next thing you say is actually somewhat intelligent and not already invented by a 4 year old." ' _Or a clan of psychotic immortals…'_

The offender's eyebrow twitched, but his fans responded more appropriately, screeching incomprehensible slurs all at once in his general direction… which was also Scab's general direction.

"The squealing… the costumes… no more lace… please keep the cat ears away…" Scabbard whimpered more to himself than anyone else, now rocking back and forth on the ground.

"My god, what the hell did they do to you to make you like that?" Zabuza mused, halfway between laughing his ass off that his tormentor was suffering… and scared as all hell that the man who had all but owned him was reduced to a twitching mess just by being around women who in all reality wouldn't last less than a fraction of a second against him in a fight.

"Heh. I at least had expected you to have better taste in company." The man shook his head, pretending he had not just been shot down moments before. "What would Kiri say if they saw you hanging around this idiot?"

"Probably something about my arrest for trying to kill the Fourth." Zabuza shrugged. "They're kind of linear when it comes to what they say around me…" His eyes narrowed. "Next things out of their mouth are usually, 'oh crap where is he?' And the classic, 'please don't kill me'. Depending on my mood, the length of the stuff that comes afterwards varies." He flared a small amount of killing intent to shut up the groupies. "So why the hell should I not gut this annoying nobody that tried to pick a fight with me just for kicks and look good for the sluts behind him?"

The offender smirked. "Nobody, you say? Surely you've heard of Kurotetsu? The master of all blades? The man who is destined to own only the strongest weapons? The Kenkage!" He roared, his groupies swooning at his self-introduction.

"Kurotetsu… Kurotetsu…" Zabuza mumbled absently as he filtered through three copies of the Bingo Book. The first was Konoha's current version, the second was the older one from Kiri that he had from just before he abandoned Kiri.

The third was the infamous black book version, which had all the bounties out in the Elemental Nations and had even the most low ranked heads listed. Black book bounties were normally handed into black market stations, which paid less for the target's heads than if it was handed into a hidden village's station, but there were more bounties there and less questions were asked… normally. Ninja from every village were listed in this book, and being seen with one inside a major village was highly frowned upon… but Zabuza: 1. Didn't really give a shit what people thought of him, and 2. Knew it was better to have some possible information on a possible opponent than none at all.

"Ah. Here you are." The swordsman mused. "Kurotetsu Yoshimizu. A-ranked missing-nin. Wanted for the murder of several nobles and high standing families as well as theft, grand larceny, and not paying for services at numerous bars and hostels. Known for obsessive sword hunting, and will go through any length to achieve his goal. Very physically strong with a wide range of sword skills provided from the multiple swords you've stolen. Noted to be very cocky and arrogant…" He sighed and put the books away. "So yeah… what's a small timer like you trying to pick a fight with me again?"

The larger man frowned. "Are you an idiot? Isn't it obvious? I'm here to tell you that when I beat you in the tournament, I'm taking Kubikiri Hōchō!"

Silence.

"And?" Zabuza asked, clearly not at all caring about his opponent's declaration.

"And?" The larger asked bewildered. "Is that all you have to say? I am going to take away your most prized possession, and that is all?"

Zabuza shook his head. "You think you're the first one to say stupid shit like that? Idiots like you just keep on talking… even when being quiet could save their lives…"

"Why you annoying…" Kurotetsu growled, grabbing a sword off of his back and unsheathing it roughly, causing the watchers to step back nervously… and causing Scabbard to narrow his eyes to almost dangerous levels. "Watch your tongue, you idiot. I've killed fools for less…"

"And I've killed greater men than you for far better reasons." Scabbard grunted from the ground. "If you are done talking, then leave. You're making a scene, you poor excuse for a sword wielder."

The man's attention turned to green haired man who was sweating profusely. "Careful, weakling. It wouldn't take much for me to kill you right here… there isn't much to prevent that from happening…"

"I don't want to hear trash from a fool that calls himself a sword master when he can't even make his blade sing…" The immortal growled dangerously while eyeing the sword. The blade, while definitely impressive looking, had seen better days, as there were definite signs of wear on the edges and stains on the metal. "You sicken me almost as much as that group of horrifying f-f-faaaaaaangirls behind you…" He almost threw up at the word of his eternal nemesis, causing many to stare at him strangely. "At least have the nerve to wait until tomorrow before you try to make a fool out of yourself in public. If you're lucky… you'll only get beaten by Zabuza…"

 _'There he goes with singing swords again…'_ Zabuza mused, ignoring the fool that had tried to pick a fight with him in the first place.

Kurotetsu laughed along with his groupies. "If I'm lucky?" He snorted and looked at the weaker looking man curiously. "Then tell me, oh wise one. What would happen if I was unlucky?"

"Oh, I can think of a few people..." Zabuza answered without hesitation, glancing at the main reason why his regained life had sucked so far.

' _…And judging from the fact that he actually seems pissed at you for some reason… other than that you have a crowd of fangirls less than 15 feet away from him… I'd say that you'd better pray you get kicked out of the tournament before there's a possibility of fighting him. Come to think of it, I've never seen Scab loose his cool unless his family was torturing him…of if he was around a fangirl…'_ He shook his head.

"Whatever. If you want to try and beat me, at least do it when we're not surrounded by a ton of samurai, you idiot." He pointed in the directions of at least 9 different armored men with their hands on their swords. "It's common sense for any missing-nin to not piss off the locals. Especially if they can fight back. How the hell did you live this long? You're giving missing-nin a bad name… and I seriously am not joking when I say that."

"I suggest you put your weapon away and move along…" One of the local forces walked up with his sword notched.

"37…" Scabbard mumbled with a twitching hand.

"What?" Zabuza asked nervously as he saw a small arc of green electricity dance in his ally's fingers.

"37 more centimeters… and I will confidently say that I will lose control of myself and roast them all… their nerves will be torched to the point that a doctor would be able to accurately map out the human's nervous system after analyzing their remains by looking for the ash left behind, and…" The man began to rant in a calm, controlled, and downright psychotic way.

"Okay! We get the point!" Zabuza panicked as he began to push Kurotetsu and his followers away quickly. "Nice talking to you! Have fun in the tourney! Make sure not to bring the bitches with you! Be sure to write! See you there!" Whether he planned for it to happen or not, several of the samurai helped him push the group away, including the surprised and very irritated Kurotetsu. Several minutes later, Zabuza returned to his employer, who was still breathing heavily. "Fuck… and I thought you were one of the normal ones…"

"I was… until I made that horrible decision long ago to try and learn how they think in order to exploit that seemingly endless energy of theirs…" Scab said with wide haunted eyes. "Until then… the only kind of mind I could not decipher was Crypt's…"

Zabuza shivered as he registered what the man had said. "Those words have burned themselves into mind… and I will never be able to rid myself of them…"

"Good. Learn to fear those that worship the kawaii… for they are the plague that infests the multiverse…" The man ranted with religious passion. "One day, I shall purge them all…"

"Oi… what the heck is going on here?" Mused a bored voice from behind the two. "We go looking for food, and we end up finding the guy who landed us here in the first place."

Zabuza and Scabbard turned to see Darui, followed by his charges. "I take it these are the guys from Kumo that you're trying to impress." Zabuza stated, putting on his careless demeanor as quickly as he could.

"This is the guy?" Atsui asked skeptically. "He doesn't look too hot…"

"The rightful order shall be restored… all shall be pure again…" Scabbard twitched.

"In a nutshell: he REALLY hates fangirls, and we just got close to a whole crowd of them." Zabuza summed up for the group. "Right now, I'm fairly certain that if you so much a squeal near him, he'll blast you all the way to Moon country."

"I'll keep that in mind…" Darui sighed. ' _Scared senseless of fangirls? Seriously?'_ "Anyways, I'm Darui of Kumo, and I'll be here to check out these weapons that he's trying to sell my village…" He looked at Zabuza and then at the man's sword. "So the rumors about him tweaking your sword was true after all… Zabuza Momochi…"

"Darui-san. Don't anger him!" Omoi hissed scared. "What if he gets angry and attacks us and uses his sword's powers? Then the green haired guy would probably be irritated with us and decide to sell swords to everyone else… then Kumo would be considered weak by everyone and Bee would be mad because he wouldn't get the new weapons he wanted… then we could be captured and tortured for information…"

"A fate far better than being in the hands of the Moe Moe sect… beware the large eyes… they see everything…" A haunted Scabbard stated in a daze…

"How much longer is your crazy going to last? We're trying to have a conversation here." Zabuza frowned as Karui poked the man skeptically.

"26 minutes 13 seconds." The green haired man replied without even thinking about the question before snapping his head to the side. "I heard childish giggling from that alleyway. There is a high possibility that there is the evil there…"

"That was… oddly specific…" Darui blinked before turning to Zabuza. "So how long have you been here?"

"A little more than half a week." The man shrugged, remembering the long and freezing trek his team had to take in order to make that time. "You?"

"We got here yesterday." The pale haired man shrugged. "We slept a lot, and now we're just checking things out before we try to kill each other for the noble's entertainment. Is it just you and Ōgakari here?"

Zabuza shook his head. "Nah. Short green and crazy there brought along two fresh chūnin with some interesting skills to try and maim the junior division." He glanced at the three Kumo chūnin that came with Darui. "From what I've seen, they have a damn good shot of winning the entire thing…"

"Hah!" Atsui laughed. "They think they're hot stuff, but wait 'til you see me in action! I'll blaze right through all of them!"

Zabuza blinked for a moment before turning to the teen's teammates. "Does he always speak in bad puns regarding fire?" A series of nods answered his question. "Are any of you at all worried that he might turn into a rampant pyro?"

"We're more concerned about preventing the Raikage's brother from ever hosting another live public concert. One of those can cause more property damage than this one can do in his lifetime." Darui sighed, getting reluctant agreements from Karui and Omoi.

"At least you can stop them." The swordsman shook his head as he saw Scabbard nearly run away screaming from an otherwise happy and innocent looking girl. "You don't want to know what this freak's family gets away with back in Konoha…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Shadow sneezed. "Aww… someone is saying nice things about me…"

"Pay attention!" Tsunade roared as she pointed to a wrapped up Jiraiya with one hand and a chart listing various painful looking actions with her other. "How many times do I have to explain the chart of proportional beatings with respect to Jiraiya's actions before you remember it?"

Shadow deadpanned. "Once. Duh. What part of 'I don't follow it' don't you get?"

All the men within hearing range got as far away from the two women as they could after that statement. Unfortunately for Jiraiya, as far away as he could in his current state equated to 7 inches.

o. o. o.

Back in Iron:

"Sometimes I wonder if I was better off being a missing-nin… or dead…" Zabuza shook his head.

"Um… okay…" Karui blanched before looking at Scabbard. "Um… how much…"

"9 minutes 48 seconds." The man claimed, looking around. "I suggest we move… there is a doll shop less than 20 yards from our position… it possesses many things THEY desire…"

"So anyways, I heard that there's a big turnout for this tournament." Omoi said nervously. "There's word that a bunch of guys from Kiri are here. Plus with you guys, us, this one ninja from Kusa, and the samurai from here, this is going to be one of the most diverse competitions Iron's had in a while…"

"That just means that people from a lot of nations are going to get their asses kicked, kid." Zabuza sighed. "There can be as many styles as there are countries, but in the end, it's the guy who's in the best shape that knows how to use his sword the best and isn't a moron that wins."

"Aren't you scared that Kiri might have sent hunter-nin after you?" Karui asked curiously.

The swordsman shrugged. "Eh. I've managed pretty damn well on my own so far, and I have decent backup now, so I'm not worried…" He yawned as the group walked down the road… passing two men dressed in matching black trench coats with red clouds… "… Then again, you can never really be too careful, given our profession…" He added with his muscles already naturally strung for a worst case scenario.

 _'He suddenly became on guard…'_ Darui mused as he glanced back at the two large men they passed. ' _It was those guys in the trench coats... yeah, those two certainly aren't dull looking…too bad that guy Scabbard is already strung up so tightly that I can't tell if he noticed them as well…'_

"You know… I've always wondered…" Atsui crossed his arms curiously. "What's it like being a high level missing-nin? I mean, I'm not going to try to be one, but it would be nice to know how they think and the hot tricks they know…"

Zabuza shook his head, loosening his body up again as his secret enemies disappeared around a corner. The two had obviously noticed him… anyone would as long as he was wearing Kubikiri Hōchō on his back… so that either meant that they were scouting or they were just biding time. "Eh. It's really just like one big, endless survival mission with enemies constantly after you… except almost no one will help you if you get in over your head. You tend to rely on your stealth and negotiation training more than anything else, and if you manage to live long enough, you'll eventually develop an innate ability to develop counters, counter counters, and, if you're _really_ good, triple counters for strategies and tactics used by the main villages on the fly. It's part of the reason why the higher level bounties are so hard to catch. The other part is that we're just that strong, of course…" He cracked his neck. "Back when I was in Kiri's ANBU, I was one of the best hunters because I saw this early on and exploited it, which was why when I decided to jump ship, I could outmaneuver my ex-comrades so easily. Not only did I know how the prey worked, but I knew how the hunters worked even better."

"I don't suppose you're willing to give us some names or places that you found useful during your live on the run would you?" Darui sighed aridly.

"Hell no. There's always a chance I have to run away again. And if I do, I don't want to make shit harder for me than it already would be." Zabuza frowned.

"Can we go somewhere to eat?" Omoi moaned. "I'm hungry… but what if we go to some place that looks good but it isn't clean and gives us food poisoning. We could get sick and spend the entire tournament in the bathroom and possibly die of dehydration… or if we do live, we could have a severe psychological fear of even being near that food, which results in impairing our abilities!"

Karui pounded her teammate on the head. "Damn it, you idiot! Stop with your wild worries! There's no way shit that random could happen to anyone!"

Zabuza and Scabbard simply stood behind the Kumo shinobi and blinked, not really sure what to do. "Should we at least…" Zabuza began to ask.

"I… honestly don't know…" Scabbard replied with his head tilted to the side. "This has never happened before… and it's so bizarre that I'm out of my relapse 4 minutes and 28 seconds earlier than predicted…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere near Spring:

A screaming and running around in circles without any pants on Ghost sneezed… then continued to scream and run around in circles as Hana, her triplets and Anko all laughed their asses off. "I have no time to muse about people talking about me! I have shit growing out of my balls that I did not intend to grow in the first place! I must panic!"

o. o. o.

Back in Iron:

"So… where to?" Karui asked, rubbing her knuckles from hitting Omoi.

Atsui sniggered. "Let's try and find a maid café… the girls there are usually hot…"

"I will end him…" Scabbard stated in his usual revitalized emotionless tone, reaching inside his coat for whatever weapon he thought was appropriate at the time.

"There's a place right over there." Zabuza pointed out, knowing how to deal with the Ōgakari somewhat since he had spent so much time with them. The key was to bring up something that would require their attention immediately due to their short attention spans when something not important enraged them. Even Scabbard suffered from this quirk. "No girls in costumes. Just a standard barbecue spot."

"Fine…" Scabbard mused, retracting his hand. "… But you're paying…"

"Son of a bijū…" The swordsman swore as they walked into the building…

o. o. o.

On the well-off side of Iron:

Naruto was sitting on top of the building the Prince was staying in, thinking furiously about his current situation. There were multiple massive signatures that he had detected while going through town… almost as many as in a major hidden village. There had been some signatures that he had recognized almost instantly and was immediately glad to see… but then there were others that had him nearly hyperventilating…

Itachi and Kisame were in Iron.

He didn't know why. He didn't know when, but he knew for a fact that those two were here due to detecting Itachi's familiar signature and feeling Samehada literally eating his Seventh Sense… and he feared that if he didn't cut off one of his largest advantages, then Kisame would eventually try to find him… and Naruto knew for a fact that direct confrontation with the pair would end one of two ways. Either Naruto would have to pull off something big in order to escape and force Akatsuki to move up their schedule in order to prevent him from getting too strong… or Itachi would have his cover blown. Both were extremely disadvantageous options.

Thankfully, because Kisame had yet to find him, that could mean that Itachi was either steering him in a wrong direction, or that he was also here for the tournament… Naruto prayed that it was both, just for safety's sake.

On the bright side, Naruto had also felt Scabbard, Zabuza, Tenten and Sasuke as well. The boy didn't attempt to go into Sage Mode as he could easily be caught and didn't want to expose one of his major trump cards so early to anyone who didn't need to know yet. Still… he needed to warn the others…

Walking back to the door that lead to the attic, the blonde switched on his radio. "We need to have a group meeting. Now. I'm waiting in the attic by the door to the roof." The blonde ordered in a calm voice, which automatically sparked concern for the ninja under his command, which was probably the reason why they all got to his location in less than a minute.

"What's so important that you had to take us from our assignments?" Kin asked curiously as she saw Naruto lean up against a wall with his arms crossed and his eyes closed.

"Please don't tell me that something went wrong already…" Kiba moaned. "We just got here, for crying out loud."

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked worriedly, scared that the situation was that even Naruto was on edge.

"First the good news." The blonde stated in a calm voice. "While we were going through town, I sensed that Scab-sensei, Zabuza-sensei, Tenten and Sasuke were in town." He noted the surprised looks on everyone's faces. "No doubt they're here to enter in the tournament… and knowing what they can do, I suggest you make bets before the preliminary matches tomorrow, seeing as only nobles and the wealthy have access to those…"

"Tenten's here?" Neji asked with wide surprised eyes.

"Tenten's flames of youth must be burning brightly here!" Lee said excitedly. "I have seen many blacksmiths and weapon stores on our way through town."

"You're going to try and annoy the living crap out of Sasuke while he's in the tournament, aren't you?" Kiba sniggered to Naruto… who for once wasn't as wild as he normally was.

"What's the bad news?" Sai asked, also concerned that Naruto was acting more nervous than normal.

"There isn't bad news." Naruto grunted. "There's emergency grade alert news." The other seven ninja froze at that statement. "From my sense, I picked up two ninja that we need to avoid at all costs. Period. When I mean that, I mean don't talk to them, don't look them in the eyes, and above all else don't fucking fight them, even if we're all together." He pushed his hair back. "They're Kisame Hoshigaki… and Itachi Uchiha."

There was silence in the group for a while before Kiba spoke up. "I know this might seem like bad news… but I honestly don't know who they are… other than the fact that the second guy is related to Sasuke."

Surprisingly, it was Kin who answered the question, shivering. "Kisame Hoshigaki. S-class missing-nin from Kirigakure. He wields the broadsword Samehada, is said to possess chakra levels on par with the bijū themselves, and is a master of water ninjutsu. He's known as the monster hidden in the Mist and the Tailed beast without a tail. Wanted for killing several Daimyō, trying to start a revolution, and abandoning Kirigakure, among other things." She took in a deep breath. "Itachi Uchiha, S-class missing-nin of Konohagakure. Master of the Sharingan eye and said to be unsurpassed in almost every ninjutsu art… especially genjutsu. He's wanted for… killing the entirety of his clan in a single night with the exception of his brother." Kin swallowed heavily and looked around. "When I was under Orochimaru's leadership, he had everyone memorize this information in case we were to encounter him and his partner. It was well known that Orochimaru wanted the Sharingan… but there were rumors that he at one point had tried to take Itachi's body… and lost…"

The rest of the ninja there minus Naruto instantly went pale seeing as they still didn't know of Sasuke's background or the real reason he was the last of his clan in Konoha.

"H-holy fuck…" Kiba stumbled back. "I think I remember when that happened… no wonder Sasuke was gone for that week and became an asshole during that year in the academy… his brother did all of that?"

"That's not the worst thing about the situation we're in right now." Naruto grunted with his knuckles popping.

"There's more?" Ino asked bewildered, not at all sure how to deal with the situation she was in right now.

"Those two are part of an organization of S-class missing-nin that are hunting bijū. Orochimaru was a member until he pissed more than a few of them off…" The blonde stated tersely. "Those two in particular came after me when I was travelling with Ero-Sennin to get Tsunade back to Konoha."

"Hun… did you say HUNTING bijū?" Kiba asked dumbfounded. "How the hell does a person go through doing something like that?"

Naruto frowned. "It's a lot easier when their targets are sealed inside humans… though if you are classified as an S-class ninja, you can't really call yourself human anymore."

"Does that mean that they are here specifically for you?" Sai asked seriously, making a mental note to deliver this information to Danzō later.

Neji shook his head. "N-No… we just got here and we ourselves didn't know where we were going 'til halfway into our trip. They must be here for the tournament… thankfully… but if they see Naruto…"

"I honestly don't know how they'd react…" The blonde stated. "From what Ero-Sennin's sources have told me, the organization isn't supposed to make a move for the bijū for another couple of years… but I doubt they would let such a good chance slip by if they saw me only with you guys…"

"Wh-what do you suggest we do?" Hinata asked nervously. "The safest thing we could do is tell Prince Michiru that it isn't safe here and leave as soon as possible…"

Naruto shook his head. "No… I've heard that Kisame's sword has some kind of chakra sensing ability in addition to being able to eat absurd amounts of chakra at a time. If we leave now, we'd be even further from backup than if they discover I'm here. Right now, for better or for worse, Iron's capital is the safest place we can be right now…" He closed his eyes and focused.

"I think it's best if I went into hiding and stayed with Scabbard's group. That way, if I'm discovered I'll have strong backup with me while not endangering the Prince… plus, Sasuke is going to need someone close by when he finds out that his brother is in town… he knows Kisame is his partner and will eventually find out during the preliminaries." He looked at the rest of his teams. "Until then, you guys are to follow Hinata's orders and keep as low a profile as possible. That means covering matching uniforms that hide as many distinct characteristics as possible. If you go out into town, go in groups of at least three, with one of them being a sensor type to keep a look out. The guys in that organization always wear a black trench coat with red clouds…"

Neji and Lee stumbled back, drawing everyone's attention. "Black coats with… red clouds?" Neji whispered with wide eyes. "Lee and I have seen two of them before on another mission…"

"Two most intimidating and unyouthful men…" Lee grunted, completely out of character. "Scabbard-sensei managed to protect us and allow us to escape. One was inside a large puppet and the other…" He blinked and looked at Ino. "Actually, the other looked a lot like you, Ino…"

Ino blinked. "Wait… so you're telling me that an evil guy me that is capable of fighting giant chakra monsters is running around kicking ass and I'm still being pushed around by my teachers? Damn it! That's it! I am fully convinced that the world hates me now…"

"You saw Sasori of the Red Sands and Deidara of Iwa?" Naruto's eyes widened, clearly not aware of that event or caring about Ino's fully justified ranting. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"It was an A-class secret. I didn't have the authority to tell anyone." Neji muttered. "Sasori mentioned turning my body into a puppet and seeing what he could do with my eyes…" He shivered. "I've never had so much killing intent focused on just me before… and it was obvious he wasn't even trying that hard… it was almost as if he didn't even see me as a person… just as another body to toy around with…"

Naruto shook his head. "We're getting off topic. Right now, we need to organize ourselves as quickly as possible. The two guys we're keeping an eye out for right now are both in the mentioned coats. Kisame is extremely tall with blue skin, and carries his broadsword bandaged up and on his back. Itachi… looks exactly like an older Sasuke, but with almost no personality and no duck ass part to his hair. I wasn't training my nose at the time, but I think that Kisame smells like blood and sharks and Itachi smells almost exactly like Sasuke, but older… and less tomatoes." Everyone in the room chuckled nervously at that comment, knowing how much the younger Uchiha enjoyed that particular fruit.

"If you do come across the two, don't talk to them, don't make indication that they get under your skin, and most important of all, _DON'T LOOK INTO ITACHI'S EYES_." He stressed the last bit. "The man is legendary for his Sharingan based genjutsu, and is fully capable of literally mind fucking you to insanity or death with a glance. If they are near you, walk away. If you can't, pretend they don't exist. These two are monsters, but they're still experienced ninja. If you don't try anything with them while inside the city, they should leave you alone and not pay any mind to you. Outside…" He breathed deeply. "Well… I'll be talking to Scab about that in the meantime…" He flexed his hands, missing his bracers. "Ero-nii told me that among all the Akatsuki, Kisame is my absolute worst matchup because Samehada just keeps on eating up my Seventh Sense… hell, even Ero-nii doesn't fancy thinking of fighting Kisame without having backup…" ' _That is of course if he never used one of his higher tiers of power…'_ The blonde mentally added… but still, if he couldn't push Ghost to that extreme the way he was now, there was no way that he would be able to put up much of a fight against Kisame unless he got a lucky Rasenshuriken off.

"A shinobi that even an Ōgakari isn't keen on going against?" Sai mused, definitely putting that information away for later should he survive this endeavor. "That certainly is concerning…"

Naruto made a fist and held it in front of his face. "Damn it… things wouldn't suck so much if I at least had my talons… my short range fighting style without them still isn't down yet… freaking exploding craptons of clones strategy… if it weren't so damn fun to make them go off in front of my enemies faces I'd… I'd…" He paused. "Crap… well, I could just blow them up… but that would just be taking the easy way out then, wouldn't it?"

The rest of the ninja there just stared at the boy bewildered at his off comment. "How can you crack a joke at a time like this?" Neji asked. "We could have two kage level ninja coming here for your head any moment and you're ranting like a child…"

The blonde shrugged. "What? Acting as if this isn't my problem is a great way to clear my head and see things through a different perspective… plus, it helps lessen my blood pressure and keeps things fun…" He put on a happy smile. "Because right now, I have to keep my cool and manage everything right or I really will go nuts… after all, I'm the one being hunted by almost a dozen S-class psychopathic homicidal mass murdering monsters in human skin… well, most of them look human…" The rest of the ninja sweatdropped, easily seeing how freaked out Naruto was right now. "That's why I enjoy laughing so much! Hahahaha!" He laughed, clearly in the middle of deluding himself now as he walked out to the door to the roof. "I'm gonna go now! Tell Michiru only what he needs to know and not to do anything stupid! God, I love my life! Everything is nice and awesome and I'm not taking care of Crypt and…"

The rest of his team would have started to talk about how they were going to deal with their current situation without Naruto… but the blonde apparently had within the span of 5 seconds found something else to rant about on the roof.

"OH YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" The blonde's voice roared hysterically from just outside, prompting the others to run outside in full battle mode.

"Captain, what has happened?" Sai asked stiffly, his tantō already out.

"I don't see anything…" Neji stated with his eyes activated to see all around him.

"Is the enemy using some kind of cloaking jutsu?" Lee asked, ready to move at any time.

"Look…" Hinata pointed to the main entrance of the estate, which was where Naruto was pointing and soundlessly swearing rampantly. There, just inside the gates, was a shivering large dark skinned man with 7 swords on his back and a Kumo headband, trying to negotiate with one of the servants for something.

"What's that Kumo ninja doing?" Ino asked sternly. "Please don't tell me he's trying to get inside…"

"No…" Neji sweatdropped, reading the lips of the men talking. "He's… asking the servant if he has an extra coat… while rapping…"

"Of all the people to try and enter the tournament in this current situation… HE has to be here too!" Naruto swore, twitching sporadically. "Where the fuck did my trademark convenient good luck go? I could have SWORN that it only goes away when I'm messing with the female population of the world or when I'm training!"

"I'm keeping that in mind for later." Kin stated, already trying to figure out a way to exploit said supposed fact.

"You know who that guy is?" Kiba asked incredulously. "How the hell would you know who some idiot from Kumo that is dumb enough to forget to bring a coat to a place like this?"

"It's a long… painful… embarrassing… humiliating… and downright horrifying story, Kiba. Filled with many sharp things, fire, and Ero-nii doing some downright weird shit." Naruto listed while shivering. "In a nutshell… I'm not telling… but I think… that I can work with this… hopefully." He stepped up to the edge. "Okay… yeah, I definitely can work with this. We'll keep in touch using the radio, but don't try to physically meet up with the other group unless my side gives the okay or unless there's an emergency… regardless, I'll give you guys a call tonight to tell you our plans."

"Naruto… is it wise to leave you alone with that Kumo-nin?" Neji asked warily. "What makes you think he will help us so readily? He has big chakra reserves, but still…"

"Don't worry." Naruto smiled casually. "There's a reason why I know him…" And with that, the blonde jumped off the roof to where the foolish looking man was still in the process of trying to get himself warm.

"I don't like this…" Neji grunted. "There's obviously something he's not telling us…"

"Me neither." Ino frowned. "Naruto's always been hiding stuff from us, but this time we're in the same area as mass murdering psychos. We need all the help we can get right now…"

"No…" Hinata spoke up, reminding everyone that she was there. "Naruto-kun is right. As long as we don't draw attention to ourselves, they won't pay us any mind. Itachi and Kisame already know what he looks like, so if they see him with us, they could use us against him, but as far as we are concerned, we're just weak genin that don't pose any threat or concern to them… and from what I can tell they are right in that assumption. As for that Kumo-nin…" She shifted, obviously showing that she was still somewhat scarred from almost being kidnapped as a child. "Well… Naruto-kun wouldn't trust someone without having a good reason. If he doesn't want to tell us why, then it's probably to protect us in some way." She took in a deep breath. "Right now, our best chance to deal with the situation is to trust what he says. If any of you object to his orders…" She activated her eyes and slowly took a stance. "Then as second in command, I will have to take appropriate measures to ensure the safety of the client…"

The genin there stared at Hinata, shocked that she would react this way and nervous at the thought of angering the girl who was one of the few people who could actually stand a chance against Naruto.

Kiba clicked his tongue irritably. "Damn. Hinata's right. Even if we wanted to know what the hell was going through the idiot's mind right now, we'd probably only land ourselves into some deep shit and screw something up…"

"So then we just do nothing the entire time?" Ino asked bewildered to everyone. "Can't we at least try to spy on them?"

Neji frowned. "No. I encountered two of them before… at our current level, there's no way we could get anything past guys on that level without drawing attention to ourselves. The best we can do is keep an eye out for them and get the hell out of their way if they come close."

"We should prepare our attire for our stay here…" Hinata advised sternly as she walked back to the door. "The more time we spend arguing, the less we have to plan how to move Michiru-dono for various situations…" The rest of the genin looked at each other skeptically before relenting to Hinata's advice and walked inside with Hinata holding open the door. With one last look to Naruto approaching the man, the girl's eyes softened. "Please be careful, Naruto-kun…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"I swear to whatever deity there is that actually likes me, all the other ones have Ero-nii's sense of humor when it comes to trying to drive me insane of this freaking mission…" The blonde grumbled as he approached the two. "Is there a problem?" He asked in a tired tone, scratching the side of his head to give the impression that he was confused.

"I'm sorry, shinobi-san, but this man appears to be rather adamant on trying to acquire one of my coats…" The guard who was a member of Michiru's caravan replied nervously.

"Don't be so cold, man. I'm normally chill, but it's so freezing here that I've had my fill. I wanna pelt so I can melt, but I got no change to exchange… so I thought one of these huge ass places could float me a coat…" Bee rapped, constantly moving in a way that suggested it was more of a way to keep warm than appearances.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Oh this guy was definitely Bee Killer. "Fine. Since you won't leave us alone and because you'll just bug someone else later, I'll get you one, but you have to pay me back. There's this place that we can go to not far from here…"

"Whatever you say, to not freeze I'll pay." Bee shivered with snot coming out of his nose. "But if you try something funny, you'll find that I'm no easy honey…"

"Just follow me, you idiot." Naruto sighed as he jumped to the marketing part of town followed by Bee… for about a dozen buildings, before he stopped on the roof of a rather tall one.

"Hey what gives?" Bee asked bewildered. "I thought we were getting threads?" He tensed immediately as Naruto made a dragon seal… but blinked in confusion as the air around him began to warm up considerably.

"You have no idea how confusing you have made things here, Bee. Right now though, I'm just glad I was the first one to find you…" Naruto shook his head frustrated.

Bee's posture seemingly relaxed, but Naruto could tell that the man was ready to move in an instant. "How do you know me? What do you want with me? The almighty B…" He paused as Naruto pulled back his right sleeve to show his jinchūriki number tattoo, the number and 9 all in order with the proper spaces in between. "I see… you're the kid with the Kyūbi…" The man slowed down considerably and crossed his arms.

"There are some Akatsuki members here." The blonde said, getting straight to the point. "I don't think they're here to hunt me since I didn't even know I was coming here until a few days ago. Did you tell anyone you were coming?"

Bee snorted. "As if. Bro would freak out and die if he let me fly here. I had to show that I was the best and take a rest from home. Ya dig?"

Naruto nodded. "Okay… that's good, because that means that those two are here for the tournament too and they don't know that two of their targets are here… and if I remember correctly, no one that matters outside of Kumo and our group knows that you're a jinchūriki…"

"So what's the plan, little man? We gonna bash their skulls for some lol's?" Bee asked with a confident grin.

"Are you an idiot?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Look at me! I'm physically 13 years old! Even with my techniques, we'd be lucky as hell to get away from those two alive! I don't have the body for that level of fighting yet! I can fight on par with an elite jōnin, yeah, but I still need more time before I can straight up go against anyone on the kage level! Plus, if we do that, we'll not only show Akatsuki how strong we are and our powers, AND tell them who you are, but we would also force the even stronger guys to move out earlier, and we are nowhere near as strong as we need to be right now. Two of us jinchūriki are physically just hitting puberty right now, including me, and I seriously don't want to imagine a fight between one of those guys and a kid that age, jinchūriki or not." He shook his head. "And don't get me started on the fact that I have 7 of my friends here under my command that DON'T have the experience, mentality, or jutsu to deal with this kind of situation, IN ADDITION to the two that Scab brought with him to the tournament. No. We're going straight to Scab to figure out a way to deal with this clusterfuck before we find ourselves in a massive hole in the ground or burned to kingdom come…"

"Don't have a growth, man. You sound like you've gone through both." Bee shook his head.

"If only…" The boy twitched before sighing and reaching out with his senses. "Okay… I have Scab's position. Come on… we need as much time as we can get right now…" He jumped to the commercial area of the town, quickly followed by Bee.

"Hoh? I didn't know you could sense." Bee mused. "That's a pretty chill skill to have…"

"It's the reason why I found out about Itachi and Kisame so quickly." Naruto replied. "I came across them before so I know what their chakra signatures are like. Unfortunately, I learned how to do this after the change, so I don't really know what the other member's chakra signatures are."

"Cool, cool. Nothing wrong about that." The elder of the two nodded. "How did you make it not so cold without putting up chakra to mold, though?"

"It's from the same way I can sense things." The blonde answered. "I have a technique that lets me control all the air around me for a fairly large distance and sense things with my range. To warm things up, I'm causing friction between the air molecules to generate heat and circulating it around you. Rinse. Repeat."

Bee whistled. "Damn. That's one hell of a move. I bet it could do more when you get into your groove…"

Naruto grinned. "Oh, you have no idea…" The two talked a bit more about what they were doing in Iron in the first place before Naruto landed near the edge of a restaurant. "We're here. He's inside with some other people that can help us…" He paused. "Though there are some signatures with him that seem somewhat familiar too that I can't lay a finger on…"

"So? What's the wait? Come on and follow the steps of the great eight." Bee grinned as he walked into the barbecue restaurant. "Oi, anyone in the house with fair green hair? There's some dude that needs to talk to him from his lair!"

"… You know… maybe there is a reason why you were never sent on missions outside of Kumo OTHER than to keep your identity hidden…" Naruto deadpanned, following Bee inside. "You never learned what subtlety means, did you? At least I save my crazy for the last moment… one moment I'm normal and an awesome ninja and then BAM! They find out that the guy that beat them is nuts enough to find a way out of whatever jutsu or trap they made using a clone, some kunai, a log (along with the appropriate scriptures), and a well-timed fart. Throw in some uncontrolled laughter and jokes and the guys are giving up left and right. That way I can be equal parts awesome and crazy, but even then I do things differently and be awesome first, then crazy, then both while most go crazy, both, then awesome. They never see it coming…"

"Just like you never saw who our present company is, Naruto?" Scabbard sighed as Bee and Naruto stood next to the bar their friends were in and froze, much like everyone else other than Scabbard was. "You might be getting better, but you are still rushing things a bit much."

"B-B-Bee-sensei?" Karui and Omoi shouted at once. "What the heck are you doing here?"

"Bee-sama is going to be fighting in the tournament too? Oh this is going to be…" Atsui began excitedly, only to freeze as several chopsticks impaled themselves next to his head.

"Finish that sentence and I swear I will show you personally how Kiri ANBU make do without regulation tools on hand." Zabuza growled, feeling a record sized headache coming soon.

"Hey Karui… isn't that the kid from the Chūnin Exams that fought the Hyūga and the Uchiha?" Omoi asked Karui quietly.

"… Yeah it is… what's he doing with Sensei?" The red headed girl asked curiously.

"Bee-sama…" Darui said slowly. "You brother is going to kill you…"

"Whoa… this blows…" Bee relented, not even trying to rhyme in the situation he was in.

" **Hahahahaha! I knew it!"** The Hachibi roared inside his container. **"I knew you'd get caught before the fighting started! Your stealth and luck has always sucked! Hahahahaha!"**

"I found this idiot in front of the place my client was staying at, trying to negotiate with one of the guards for a coat." Naruto summarized what he knew and began to play his half lie magic. "He was looking around for you, Scab, but when he asked around for Konoha ninja, he got pointed in the direction of my group. Since I could easily find you from miles away because of your stupidly huge reserves, I decided to lead him to you… in addition to having a certain private conversation about something else that is almost completely unrelated… now…"

Scabbard paused for a moment, chewing on a piece of meat before sighing. "If this is about the thief and the zealot, I am already in the process of formulating an answer to the situation to fit your group's…" He paused as he noticed Naruto's face freeze before drastically paling. "I assume that there is something else that was concerning you?"

"S-Shark a-and E-eyes…" The blonde stammered in a daze, causing Zabuza and Scabbard to frown instantly. "Do you happen to have one of those emergency silencing seals on hand?" The whiskered boy asked aridly.

Without saying anything, the green haired man took from one of his pockets two small slips of paper. One he pressed it to Naruto's chest and the other he put on the table, activating both almost instantly. "There." He stated, not once looking at anyone and clearly in deep thought.

To aid the reader's understanding, the next part of the conversation is done while Naruto is silently screaming the longest and largest swear that will ever come out of his mouth. It begins with a VERY big F.

"That's a lot of rage that the kid is gathering up…" Darui mused as the blonde's face quickly grew red while forming the first letter of his venting. "Judging from what you were talking about, I'm assuming that whatever you just told him isn't good for you guys…"

"If Bee wasn't here… it would have only been our problem." Scabbard stated darkly, getting looks from the Kumo ninja there. "The seal on the table prevents our conversation from being overheard. The one I put on Naruto is extra protection since even silencing seals have limits…" He glanced at the boy who was still at the first letter, but clearly in the process of building up the appropriate levels of rage for the main part of his anger filled roar if the scrunching of his face was any indication. "Regardless, right now we are both in a very precarious situation… one that I believe we need to work together on in order to ensure that all of us are safe upon exiting Iron."

"Four… for crying out loud, fucking four of them are here…" Zabuza grimaced with his face in his hands. "Did I mention that I hate the missions you put me on with a burning passion that is only matched by your sister's love of sweets? Because I do, Scabbard. I really do hate them…"

"Who are you talking about and why are they suddenly our problem too?" Darui asked with a deep frown, ignoring Naruto, who was now arching back and seemingly roaring in a way that should by all means have come with a sudden massive increase in chakra or a transformation or something along those lines.

"That is something we will need to discuss away from your students, I'm afraid. Regardless, with Bee here, you are indeed in extreme potential danger as well." Scabbard mused. "Did you tell anyone that you were coming here, Bee?"

"Nope, I was a quiet as a mouse. Blondie said that he didn't know about coming to this house, either until a few days ago…" He pointed at the still screaming Naruto before looking at him carefully. "Damn, the kid's venting by the load…"

"I see…" Scabbard mused, already coming to the same conclusions that Naruto had about their being here and how to exploit them. "That is good… I can see the other reasons why both pairs are here… though I believe that they did not know the other pair was going to be here initially…" He remained quiet for a few more seconds. "Until Naruto regains control again from his temporary unbridled rage and tells me the current situation with his client, I cannot formulate a final plan of exit… but regardless, we will most likely need to move together when we leave Iron in a large group to ensure everyone's safety…"

"Wait, hold on!" Karui growled. "What are you guys so afraid of? Four what?"

"S-ranked criminals, kid." Zabuza grunted. "Four, skilled as all hell, unflinching, monstrous S-ranked criminals from a single group…" He glanced at Bee. "And I can tell you right now that your teacher there is one of their main targets… even if they don't know who he is at the moment…" He then looked at Naruto, who looked like he was about to finally collapse before suddenly standing straight up again with vigor, obviously getting his second wind of unrelenting fury. "Sir screams a lot over there is another one of their targets… and two of the guys here DO know who he is."

"Bee would be able to handle at most one… with the exception of the weakest one, if he fought him first and knew what his abilities were… but not two at once." Scabbard stated in a stern voice that allowed no arguments. "If Darui teamed up with Zabuza… I'm fairly certain they could cover another one… but four at once is simply too much. We need to do this right if we don't want to lose anyone…"

' _Damn… If only two of them were Sasori and Deidara, I could actually do some of the fighting, since those two were the members I was allowed to mess with… but the zombie pair are in Crypt's designation, and Itachi and Kisame are Waltz's. I can't so much as make a spark at them due to the family's agreement when we first got here. Okay… Hidan and Kakuzu are here for the large number of bounties, while Kisame and Itachi are here for the fights…that means that they might not work together so long as they don't have a common goal… but knowing Kisame's reason for being here… and how Kakuzu thinks…Itachi's genjutsu abilities…plus with all the various ninja from different villages here and our personal strengths…'_

"I have a plan in the making…" The man stated with finality, getting surprised looks from the others. "I already have the first few steps planned out… but I'll need your cooperation for the later ones."

"Wait a second!" Karui yelled, slamming her fist on the table. "Since when the hell do we have to listen to what you have to say? Eh? One second everything is normal, and the next you go on about S-ranked criminals going after my master and that we have to work with you! Where the hell is the proof that we're in any danger?"

"Karui… I don't think they're lying about this…" Omoi advised, glancing at Naruto, whose eyes were now bloodshot but still unrelenting in his defiant but silent roar against the world. "You can't really fake someone freaking out on that level…"

"Karui has a point, though." Darui said with a skeptical eye. "So far, other than you claiming that Bee-sama is being targeted by these guys, you haven't proved that we aren't in any danger…"

Scabbard nodded. "Understandable. We do not have any concrete evidence, and any we could get would take too much time and possibly ruin any chances we have, or it would break several rules set up in Konoha… however, I do not need to convince you in order to enlist your group." He turned his attention from the concerned Darui to the contemplating Bee. "Bee?" He asked simply.

Zabuza snorted. _That's right. That guy is here unexpectedly and is the Raikage's brother. That guy Darui HAS to follow Bee out of Iron whether he's with us or not in order to make sure he gets back in one piece._

The largest black man crossed his arms and frowned in seemingly deep thought. "I came to test my skills with the best of us so my blades wouldn't rust… but even at my best, I'm not dumb enough to go up against four S's." He paused. "If I give you my best words… when can I get my shiny new swords?"

"Bee! What are you thinking?" Darui yelled angrily, clearly irritated by the man's clear lack of concern for the situation.

Scabbard smirked. "I can have them done the night after the tournament is over to give you a slight edge if we're attacked during our travels. All attributes and abilities fitted to your fighting style, and able to handle more chakra flow than you could possibly believe a sword could." He looked at Darui. "You really should have more faith in others. I am investing a lot into this deal with Kumo, so why on earth would I want to risk that now just as I'm about finish the deal? Everyone knows that long term major business transactions produce far more income than momentary extortion. Safer, too." He shrugged. "Oh well. It's too bad, really. I was technically planning some designs for your sword, but in reality, I have nowhere near enough information on your particular skills to get it done in time… I really only know about Bee's due to the fact that he forced me to have a quick spar with him while I was in Kumo…"

"I think he might have just broken some kind of record…" Zabuza mused, looking at Naruto. "… Though if he used his chakra to compress air in his lungs, I think that might have disqualified him…" He shook his head. "Whatever… The bottom line is that we have four potential monsters breathing down our necks, and we need to work together in order to make sure we are not screwed over by the end of the week. If nothing happens, you can leave after we can tell that it's safe and be pissed at us, but if something happens, there's at least a chance that not all of us will die." He jabbed a thumb at Bee. "Tall dark and stupid there has already decided to join us, and since he seems important enough that you have to keep an eye on him, that automatically drags you four in as well."

"Rest assured, I am not going to try and extort any information about Kumo from you by doing this." Scabbard mused with his eyes closed. "All I am asking is for you to play along for now… most of the major plays during our stay here will be done on our end…" He smirked. "Depending on how well you cooperate with us… I might even let you in on them…"

The mood was incredibly tense at the table with Darui, Atsui, Karui and Omoi glaring at the Konoha ninja, Bee just standing there silently with his arms crossed and…

Thump.

…Naruto finally running out of air and oxygen in his system and collapsing onto the ground, clipping the table with his head in the process and making everyone wince.

"Ow… his head's gonna be burning when he wakes up from that…" Atsui grimaced.

"That was some blow to the head…" Bee mused before checking the blonde. "Oh crap, I think he's dead!"

"I hope that doesn't impair your grand plan…" Darui grunted sarcastically as a waiter came to make sure that everything was fine, which Zabuza assured it was within a few seconds and sent the man off.

"Naruto's job is simply to stay out of sight for the time being." Scabbard shook his head. "He'll make a full recovery by tomorrow morning. To say he's a fast healer would be an understatement… as would saying he has an incredibly thick skull." He cracked his neck a bit before frowning again. "Regardless… This is what I have planned so far from what I have gathered…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

So just to recap, we have Naruto's group, Scabbard's group, Darui's group, Bee, Ao, Suigetsu, Chōjurō, a buttload of Kiri ANBU, Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, the three guys from Kusa, AND that guy Ryoji that Crypt fought in the Chūnin Exams, inside Iron at the same time… among OTHER characters that are violent, unimportant, or just haven't been mentioned yet…

And almost all of them are unaware of the presence of the others.

Oh dear god, I truly have created one of the biggest potential clusterfuck events in fanfic history… and to be honest, I was planning on using only one pair of Akatsuki for this event until halfway through the chapter…

Naruto is defiantly going to need to pray to the log a lot this time… amen…

So yeah, word count is over 900k now with this chapter… I really want to know right now… are there any other stories that have more than this one?

I'm in the last stretch of my project now and I'm finishing this chapter while doing corrections to my project paper that is about twice as long as this chapter. Goodie. I seriously don't think the next chapter will be coming out for a while though because of the work, so please be patient.

So Naruto chapter and anime wise: Yay the fillers are over… again. And for the Kumo brothers with their super special awesome weapons… yeah, those tools are going to be major plot devices for taking out the rest of the resurrected ninja later on. Period. I called it when I first saw their abilities, and I have dibs on that prediction. No questions.

One last thing! Turns out that Yet Again is on TV tropes! Sweet! If possible, I would like anyone who is willing to to update that page! My chaos is not limited to a list of that meager length! Bwahahahahahaaaaa!

That's about it guys. Sorry if there wasn't as much comedy as usual, but I wanted to establish the situation more than anything right now.

Review! Worship the log! Laugh at the absurdity of the situation that has established itself! And review again!


	62. When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in a major city, look frequently at a map. When with Crypt… panic.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 62: When in Rome, do as the Romans do. When in a major city, look frequently at a map. When with Crypt… panic.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Iwa:

"I can't believe you did this… let alone dragged me back here to help…" Rōshi shook his head as he passed his drink to Ōnoki as they watched Kurotsuchi practice her recently discovered lava release element. "Even if she's your long lost granddaughter or pet or whatever, the girl is too strung up to just let into your life as quickly as you did."

"Better that than keep her away like I did with Kitsuchi…" Ōnoki grunted. "I left her alone for all these years, Rōshi. If I didn't extend a hand now… well, look at me. There isn't that much time to bond now regardless." He drank some of the liquor that was passed to him. "I know it's risky, Rōshi, but we're related too, you know, yet other than her, none of us have someone close to pass down our story. I just want some part of my legacy to live that isn't a complete failure or already dead before I die…"

The read headed old man raised an eyebrow. Ōnoki rarely brought up the fact that they were actually related or dwelled on his remaining few years of life. "… You're really losing it. You know that?" He sighed and shook his head. "If you wanted a legacy, you could have always found someone to teach your dust techniques to…"

Ōnoki shook his head. "No one passed. Having the three needed affinities is already rare enough, but the few that did were all arrogant idiots that would sooner use them to start a war than think through things… Kitsuchi was a close pick with his earth and fire affinities, but he never got around to developing a wind affinity… not that we actually had a decent library of techniques for that element in the first place…" He glanced at his granddaughter. "Kurotsuchi has fire, earth and water… and like her father, can combine fire and earth to get lava… like you and me before my training under Mu. Having three elements alone is already a rare thing to achieve… to push for a fourth would take too much time, which I don't have."

Rōshi nodded slowly, understanding what his cousin was arguing. "Shame those moves have to end with you. Watching those techniques in action is always an interesting way to pass time…"

Ōnoki snorted. "So was watching Deidara lose his temper when he was working with the blast corps. After he stole that kinjutsu and started using his blast element with that rubbish he called art, though, it just became annoying and dangerous."

The two old men chuckled and leaned back in their chairs.

"… So what are you going to do about that request to put the brat in our books?" Rōshi asked in a more stern tone. "You know that doing so is only going to seriously strain our limited ties to Konoha."

The Tsuchikage sighed as he took another brief drink before passing it to Rōshi again. "I'll cancel the request, but put a minor advisory out in its place. The boy has done nothing against our forces, but a ninja of that age to show that much skill and promise still needs to have an eye kept on him since his kind tend to get much stronger after they grow a few feet. If I disregard his presence as not noteworthy, it might come to bite everyone in the ass later on, but putting him in the books for simply showing off and stopping a coup in some random assed country that we had no part of is also folly."

The jinchūriki snorted. "Middle ground again? You really are a Fence Sitter…"

Ōnoki grew a tick mark. "It's the Twin Scales and you know it!"

Kurotsuchi sighed and shook her head as she attempted to mold her earth and fire chakra together again in a way to produce a rubber cement like substance in her mouth and shoot it out in bullets. She had spent the weeks Ōnoki had given her to think about her life and her goals. As much as she wanted to prove the idea wrong, trying to get revenge against a dead man was a rather stupid thing to do. The problem was that she had lived with that hatred for so long that it was incredibly hard for her to let it go…

So she did the next best thing… she didn't let it go and instead merely shoved it a fair bit down on her list of life's priorities and things to do. Of course, she didn't tell Ōnoki that… instead, she had said that she was done focusing her life on a foolish cause… and for the most part she was telling the truth. First on her list was to become a strong and respectable shinobi that would have put her father to shame, second was to get some semblance of a life again, and third was to find out more about her family. Revenge was around 8th place on her list. She wouldn't actively go looking for it anymore or attempt to contribute to killing everything related to Namikaze… however, that didn't mean she wouldn't take a chance if she saw an opportunity…

…Or celebrate if the plan set up by some of her friends worked thanks to the information they gained from the returning ninja working in Spring…

o. o. o.

In a cave somewhere:

Half a dozen transparent figures appeared around a small stone lantern. "It has come to my attention that you four are all in Iron at the moment…" Pain stated in a somewhat irritated tone, glancing at Kisame and Itachi. "While I did assign Hidan and Kakuzu there to gain more funds for our cause, I am curious as to why you two are there for your break between missions…"

"I'm just as surprised…" Kisame chuckled in an amused tone. "I just wanted to humiliate little Zabuza for that stunt he pulled on me back in Konoha. I didn't see the harm in going since the sword master tournament always gets a load of interesting guys when it's held."

Itachi remained motionless with unmoving bored red eyes gazing in front of him.

"You're in luck." Kakuzu grunted. "I saw your old comrade earlier while Hidan and I were walking through town. He's definitely here for the tournament. There's a pretty big cash prize for winning it, too… it should be easy for someone like you to clean the competition."

"Again with the fucking money!" Hidan moaned. "I swear, you must masturbate with 10000 ryō bills instead of lotion!"

"Don't make me rip out your heart again…" The organ thief growled irritably.

"Quiet." Pain ordered. "Since you are already there, you might as well make yourself useful. Kisame, you are to win the prize money from the tournament. Afterwards, you and Itachi are to help Hidan and Kakuzu gain bounties. However, make sure that discretion is your priority. We must not allow other villages to see us as a threat yet…"

Kakuzu frowned. "That may be more difficult than you might think at the moment. I've seen more ninja from various villages at this year's event than at previous ones. There are loads of Kiri hunters sneaking around, and Zabuza was walking with some green haired man from Konoha as well as with a group of ninja from Kumo. Judging from his reaction as we walked past him, he noticed us right away… though there was only one member of the Kumo group that didn't look like a brat trying to outgrow their diaper. It is unlikely… however, there is a chance that he could inform them about us."

Pain frowned. "That is most concerning… once they have exited Iron they will be without aid…" He glared at all four of them. "I trust you to handle the situation when the time comes… do not fail me."

o. o. o.

Iron:

"I can't believe I'm saying this… but you really have completely outdone yourself this time, dobe…" Sasuke stated in a tired voice as he sat down on his bed with his head in his hands. "I honestly don't know what else to say other than the fact that I'm going to request that the Hokage not send me on any missions with you anymore unless they have already gone straight to hell… on second thought, there should be a warning given to everyone that going on missions with you will most likely result in someone or something disproportionally powerful coming after their heads…"

"Stop. Talking." Grunted the blonde with a hoarse voice as he sat in a lotus position and tried to pin down where the remaining Akatsuki members were as well as where everyone else was staying. "I'm trying to focus after having a major mental breakdown. Scab is out doing whatever it is he planned to do, the Kumo ninja are a few rooms down from us, and Zabuza is in the living room. The best we can hope for is for whatever he's setting up to work."

Tenten shivered. "Four of those guys? I had trouble just standing around two of them… and one of them is probably going to fight in the adult division…" She looked at Sasuke. "Your brother is…?"

"One of those monsters here? Yes." The Uchiha snapped, knowing that as much as he hated it, Itachi was still undercover and the best thing to do was still treat him as an enemy. "As much as none of us want that to be the case, that's what it's like right now…"

The three remained silent for several minutes before Tenten looked up. "So what do we do?"

"Sleep." Naruto stated almost immediately, stretching out his legs. "I found where Itachi and the other Akatsuki are staying, and thankfully, they are nowhere near where we or our friends are. The best thing we can do is remain well rested for the upcoming events and we need to rely on each other and luck more than ever if we want to get out alive… log knows we'll need it."

The two sword wielders looked at the blonde as he got into his bed and quickly fell asleep. Sasuke clicked his teeth. "… I hate it when he's right… but I hate it more when he makes something like that seem easy…"

Tenten nodded. "We do have to rely on each other if we want to get out of this though. You with your dōjutsu and me with my…" She paused as if realizing something before shaking her head. "You get the idea… just go to sleep. I'll be with you in a moment…"

Sasuke watched as the girl rushed out of the room curiously. Sighing to himself, the boy ignored his curiosity and got into his bed, hoping that sleep would come as easily to him as it did Naruto. Conveniently enough, it did and he was out before the girl with buns came back into the room…

o. o. o.

Zabuza watched with a raised eyebrow muscle as Tenten walked out of the room after writing something frantically into a scroll she had taken out for a few seconds and then going back inside, forgetting to take it with her. He didn't think that the message was for him, but the man was curious as to what had caused her to be so urgent for a few words.

Haku had learned early on that the words 'privacy' and 'Zabuza' don't mix that well without the term 'painful consequences' appearing somewhere near them… and apparently, she had forgotten to tell her new friends that.

Walking to the table that the scroll was on, the man casually looked at the paper… his interest growing progressively. "Well now… this is interesting…" He mused as he eyed the words.

On the scroll were two poems with the same first few lines. The first was obviously complete, if not a bit dark… but the second had nothing but blanks and notes on the side of where the lines were supposed to be written after the first three lines…

Correction… first four lines… with the fourth being recently written in by Tenten.

o. o. o.

On the other side of Iron:

"The hell did Scab need Sai for, and why the hell are they taking so long?" Kiba asked irritably as he slumped in the chair of the room he was sharing with the others.

"For the last time, I don't know." Neji growled with his eyes momentarily active. "Stop asking already."

"I'm more concerned about that letter he gave to Hinata is all about." Ino mused. "I mean, I know that it's supposed to be secret, but can't we see what's inside?"

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Ino. We're in a tracking and torture/interrogation group, remember? Too much information can easily get you killed… or tortured some more."

"And too little can do just as much damage." The Yamanaka growled. "You're talking to one of the biggest gossips of Konoha, remember? I know how these things work better than you do…"

"Which is why neither you, nor any of us, will look at it." Hinata stated softly but sternly as she fingered the envelope in her pocket. "I will not let us endanger ourselves or the client because we were simply curious. Now let's go over our tactics for our stay and our exit strategy again." Everyone groaned tiredly seeing as this was the 7th time they had gone over the process in the past few hours. "We are to travel concealed in public so that no one can easily identify us…" The girl continued, ignoring her friend's misery. Personally, she didn't want to go over this either, but being annoyed and bored was better than being dead in her books. "Kin, please go over our behavioral conduct in public…"

"Fine." The girl rolled her eyes. "We're supposed to travel in threes at the smallest at all times with a sensor to keep an eye out for the enemy. Our posture and behavior are supposed to be constantly high strung while we are in public view so that if we do come across these monsters, our posture won't change much and tell them that we know who they are. We aren't to talk to anyone outside our group about them unless we get the all clear from Scabbard, Naruto, or Zabuza. Hikaru and Michiru aren't to know of the severity of the situation other than the fact that we are to leave extremely early on the night after the events are being held."

Hinata nodded. "Good. Lee, how are we supposed to perform if encountering a member of this group or any other foreign ninja that directly attempts to engage with us?"

Lee's eyes focused unblinkingly. "We are to keep conversation to a minimum and not allow any more information about what we know out than necessary. If an unyouthful fight does break out here, then we are to enlist the aid of the local samurai as soon as possible, as they are tasked to maintaining the peace. Regardless, if we believe things have truly progressed out of our control, we are to throw our signal exploding tags into the air or use our radios to call for immediate assistance…"

The boy was interrupted as a servant knocked on the door and peeked his head inside. "Um, excuse me, master ninja… however, there is another ninja outside who wishes to speak with you and is rather adamant about it…"

The Konoha ninja paled at that statement before they regained their composure and Neji activated his eyes. "Describe him for us. His clothing. His headband."

The servant shifted in his spot. "I couldn't see his face as he was wearing a mask… but he seemed to be wearing a battle robe of sorts and was very formal. His mask also had these four wavy looking lines on the forehead…"

Neji slowly nodded. "I see only one shinobi level chakra signature near the front gate… though there may be more outside my range."

"Kiri…" Ino muttered. "Sounds like a hunter-nin too…" She glanced at Hinata, who simply stood up with a blank face on that served better than any mask could and put her headband over her forehead. "Oi… if you're actually going to go talk to him, take Lee and Kiba as backup."

The heiress paused for a moment before nodding to the mentioned males to come with her. The two plus puppy didn't hesitate to move swiftly after her as the girl put on a mask that hid all her features other than her eyes and calmly lead the way for the other two. By the time they were outside, they were all wearing masks and transformed into similar clothing with the exception of Hinata's eyes and Akamaru walking next to Kiba.

"We're so asking for a raise for this mission after we get back…" Kiba grunted as they approached the main entrance calmly. "I still don't smell anything yet…"

"Is there a reason why a shinobi from Kiri has asked us for our time while we are busy with an important diplomatic mission?" Hinata asked in a monotone voice as she stopped in front of the masked individual dressed in standard hunter-nin attire.

 _'Byakugan…'_ Thought the disguised man warily as he glanced at Hinata's eyes, but made no physical gesture that indicated he was slightly more put off by the girl's presence. ' _… And judging from the way the dog is following the boy… there's an Inuzuka too… hopefully, my teammates won't do anything stupid and get close… coming here is looking more and more like a bad idea every second… at least they are still kids, so they don't have as much experience…'_ "I apologize for the intrusion, ninja from the Leaf. However, I am here to inquire about some rumors that have reached my village's ears as of late. Am I to assume that you are the commanding officer here?"

Hinata stared blankly back at the mask with her white eyes. "That is the case, yes… however, you would do well not to underestimate me because of my age, size and gender. Please ask what you wish to know and I will answer them… within reason, of course."

The hunter nodded silently, on guard for the possibility for any of the three to activate their chakra. Being this close, the man could easily tell if any of the three were preparing for something. Still, being within strike distance of a Hyūga, regardless of their age, was enough to make him extremely wary. "We have suspicions that Zabuza Momochi, a ninja that recently joined your village, is in this city for the sword master tournament. Is this true?" As he waited for a response, the man looked at the other young ninja with the girl in hopes of getting some kind of physical reaction that he could read… however, there was nothing other than cold eye contact. It was almost as if they had expected that question to be asked…

Hinata remained rather silent before shaking her head. "I am afraid I cannot answer your question. Zabuza Momochi is not a part of our assigned mission team, and as such we have no indication as to why he is here… or that he was going to be here in the first place. If he is, then his being here and his reason have no effects on our mission, seeing as we were not informed of his whereabouts. Is there anything else you would ask of us, or is that it?"

 _'Damn Hyūga and their uptight attitude… the brat didn't directly deny that he was here, but she didn't say he was either…'_ Mentally grunted the man as he attempted to think of a way to get any information out of the girl. "I see… how unfortunate…" He paused for a moment. "Can you at least confirm the rumors of his sword, Kubikiri Hōchō, had been reforged? That weapon is one of the trademark blades of Kiri, and as such is a national treasure…"

Hinata stared at the man unblinkingly at the man as Kiba and Lee frowned, clearly irritated that the man expected them to sell out their ally. Before they could chew the man out however, Hinata spoke up. "If Zabuza is here for the tournament as you claim he is… then you do not need to ask us that question…" She responded coldly. "…You would simply need to wait for the finals. After all, Zabuza is still one of the strongest swordsmen in the Elemental Nations. Getting to that position should be little to no problem for him if he is indeed participating…"

The pair stared at one another without blinking, both donning masks that hid their thoughts from the other's gaze… before the hunter sighed and shook his head. "I see… you do make a point… In that case, I am afraid that my being here will either turn out fruitless or rather informative… I apologize for taking up your valuable time… Hyūga-san…"

"There is no need. It is comforting that there are foreign shinobi who are still willing to be civilized and polite about manners such as these…" Hinata responded as she reached back to get something from her pouch, instantly putting the man on edge. "… However, if my assumptions are correct, you will not be going back empty handed…" She continued as she took out a letter and held it out for the man to obtain.

The hunter narrowed his eyes as he looked at the paper, wary of any traps that could be inside. "… This is?" He asked skeptically.

The girl shook her head. "To be honest, I do not know. I was recently contacted by one of my village's spies and ordered to hand this message to any Kiri shinobi I should come in contact with. Its contents were deemed to be highly classified, so neither I nor my team has attempted to access its contents. Seeing as you came to us… I am under the impression that the one who wrote this expected you to attempt to gain information from my command."

The air was silent as the man clearly wary of any and every possible outcome weighed his options. The message could very easily be a trap. A rigged exploding seal to kill him and his team. A knockout seal to subdue them for interrogation. Hell, the information might be good, but it could still have a tracking seal used to find key points used by Kiri forces… then there was the fact that his team was supposedly expected to come to try and gain information from those kids… "… I don't suppose you would be accommodating enough to open it for me to ensure that it is not a trap, would you?" He asked skeptically, shifting his attention between the letter and the teens in front of him. "Nothing personal… however, putting traps in messages is not exactly unheard of. Just opening the envelope and taking out the letter will do…"

Kiba and Akamaru growled irritably at the request before they were silenced by Hinata slowly doing just as she was requested, clearly not at all unnerved by what was asked of her. Within seconds, the folded piece of paper was out of the envelope and in the girl's hands. "Is this sufficient? Any further and I'm afraid we will have a fairly high chance of seeing the contents of the paper…"

"Just one moment…" The hunter replied as he focused his chakra and touched the paper using a fairly standard seal detecting ninjutsu that all hunter-nin learned during training. Getting no response, the man grabbed the paper. "Thank you for your unexpected services." He bowed before disappearing with a shunshin.

"That ass…" Kiba grunted. "Expecting us to sell out our comrades…"

"Be grateful that this scenario resulted as peacefully as it did, Kiba…" Hinata chided as she turned back to the building. "They could have easily just attempted to break in and try to interrogate us for information. So long as they chose a non-violent route to achieve their goals, I have no complaints."

Lee nodded. "It is true. While I do find it rather unyouthful to have to be asked such questions, the outcome is still preferable than what could have happened…"

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Whatever. All I know is that I'm keeping my nose open for Kiri ninja for the next few weeks…"

Hinata sighed and shook her head. She didn't want to bother explaining to the boy that her eyes had been active since they turned around. Just because that encounter had ended without a hitch didn't mean that there wouldn't be a second…

Though she hoped there wouldn't be any more problems to deal with during this mission. Unlike the invasion, this mission was dragging on continuously, and the hell she was encountering just kept on coming…

o. o. o.

The next day:

"So does everyone know their roles?" Scabbard asked through his radio piece as the ninja he was in charge of walked to the main entrance for the participants of the tournament.

"Yeah…" Came a fake, yet cheerful reply through the headsets.

"It'll be a pain, but I think I can manage…" A tired but confident voice confirmed.

"Are you sure that those guys won't do anything once they see us here?" Tenten asked someone nervously.

"I'm sure." The immortal answered. "As strong as they are… they don't want to risk exposing themselves just yet. This isn't the time or the place for them to do it. You have your passes?" He got the shuffling of three sets of papers in response. "Good…"

The rest of their travel was done in silence as the four got to the main entrance without issue, showed their papers and were sent to the waiting and testing area where all the junior and senior participants were.

Stepping foot into the area, Sasuke could immediately tell that this was drastically different from the Chūnin Exam, and yet unnaturally similar at the same time. There were hordes of samurai there, both young and old, talking and in small groups. The locals could easily be told apart from the missing-nin, mercenaries, and the normal shinobi as the latter group didn't wear armor, or at least armor of decent quality.

Every once in a while, he could spot some lone rōnin who seemed to be minding his own business, but the Uchiha, and probably everyone else there, could tell that literally all the inhabitants in the room were on the verge of fighting for some reason or another…

"We managed to get here with some time to spare." Zabuza mused, ignoring the disdainful looks the samurai were giving his group. "I wonder how they're going to filter out the trash from the people who know the sharp side of a sword…"

"Heheh… oh, it's actually pretty mundane really…" Chuckled a rather happy voice from nearby, causing the group to turn to see a wolfish looking swordsman. "This isn't my first time here, so I know pretty much the whole general process… get in, hopefully pass the tests, if you do stay another day and fight in the finals, fight some more, get some cash, get out, and make sure you aren't ambushed once you step outside the borders."

"That's the wolf guy we were talking about yesterday." Sasuke warned to the elder two.

"I was wondering when you would show up again…" Scabbard mused, clearly remembering the man. "I hope it didn't take you long to recover from wherever the hell my brother sent you after you fought him…"

Ryoji sniggered. "Considering that I remember you turning that bitch Nala into charcoal with that absurd lightning technique of yours, watching the fast one dismember Tōrō arm by arm in a few seconds before dicing him up with them and disintegrating the remains with his wind techniques, and Toku getting dragged down into a literal pit of darkness by that sister of yours, I think I got off lucky getting cut all over the place and impaled by my sword before getting sent half way across the continent. Your clan really is insane, Ōgakari, and I gotta say that hearing the shit you guys pull just makes my day." He laughed some more. "That being said, if we fight in the finals, I promise not to act like a fangirl if you promise not to do anything permanent."

Tenten shivered. "What kind of offer is…"

"Deal." Scabbard interrupted quickly, flooring the rest of his group.

"We should be used to this… we should have seen this coming…" Sasuke grumbled to himself as he got back up. "I have no one to blame but myself for being surprised by now… and yet I keep on lowering my guard…"

"Come to me later, though… I have another proposition in mind that I think you may find interesting…" The immortal continued, not paying attention to his allies' reactions.

"Hoh? A deal with the Ōgakari themselves, eh?" Ryoji muttered, clearly amused and intrigued. "I'd have to be an idiot not to take this up. Your family has the kind of people that enjoy shaking things up… and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love those kinds of guys." He chuckled again. "We'll talk later. First rule of a successful business between guys on opposite sides of the law is to keep public together time to a minimum after all." He shifted his grin to Zabuza who had not taken his eyes off of the man. "Later, Sempai. Sorry we couldn't catch up on old times… heheh…"

Tenten warily looked at the man walking away before looking at the ex-Kiri ninja on her side. "You knew him?"

Zabuza sighed. "The idiot was one of my first admirers back in my early ninja years. He had a similar blood lust to me, but didn't come with the matching self-control. He used to follow me everywhere and ask for advice on techniques and forms… and he was a quick learner too." He shook his head. " He was almost made into a swordsman like me, but like I said, he was too wild… though to be honest, he was one of the first to tell that something was wrong with… a friend of mine, right off the bat… as well as one of the first to become a missing-nin because of it. He enjoys fighting, but thankfully I managed to pound the love for the good kind into him when we were smaller. He still uses tricks and tactics and stuff like that, but clear one sided fights in his favor really just bore him unless it's ended in a very flashy way…" He glanced at Scabbard. "Looks like your family just got another fanboy…"

"So long as he doesn't squeal or try to hug me, it is within tolerable limits…" The man stated calmly. "If not… there won't even be remains left…"

Tenten shook her head before looking around to get a view of the competition. "It's hard to tell who's in what category…" The girl mused. "Most of the samurai here have their armor on, so how can we tell if they even are the right age?"

"Samurai are very honorable Tenten." Scabbard answered as he looked around. ' _Hmm… this is the room where Sasuke fought the Raikage in the alternate timeline… though there is more equipment here now for the event…_ "They have their own code and way of doing things, which involve much less trickery than the shinobi way. Their general, Mifune, is in particular a very calm and stern man with an iron like resolve."

"Mifune of the One Strike." Zabuza nodded. "The man is known for his impressive sword skills and his drawing techniques. It's said that ninjutsu doesn't work on him because in the time it takes for a ninja to make a seal, he's already cut them in half. I wonder if he's in this tournament too…"

"No." The green haired man replied. "He's busy managing the events and the security here."

The assassin raised an eyebrow muscle. "Oh? And you would know because?"

Before he could respond, another person walked up to the group… one much less welcome. "Ah… little Zabuza. I was wondering when you'd show up…" Sniggered a large blue man in a black coat with red clouds.

"Kisame… I'm surprised that Itachi let you out of your tank…" The Demon of the Hidden Mist growled, ignoring Sasuke's and Tenten's stiff figures.

"I'm going to enjoy getting back at you for that stunt you pulled back in Konoha…" Grinned the massive man as he glanced at Sasuke. "And if it isn't Itachi's little brother, too… maybe I should bring you to him so you could catch up for old time's sake…" He flashed a sharp toothed grin. "You know, recent kills, old kills, favorite kills… most memorable kills… I'm fairly certain you two have a few in common there…"

"Shut… up…" Growled the Uchiha as he activated his bloodline and reached for his sword… only to be stopped by Scabbard.

"Calm down. You're better than this." The fellow lighting elemental commanded in a slightly bored tone before glancing at Kisame. "Please stop ridiculing my student. It does not entitle you to agitate his brother just because you cannot defeat Itachi."

Kisame twitched, Zabuza snorted, and the younger ninja slightly relaxed. "Oh? The small one can actually talk." The shark man chuckled with a wavering tone that clearly indicated irritation and a fair amount of killing intent. "I'm kinda surprised you are here, considering you don't even have a sword on you… though I don't really see you lasting that long here…"

The immortal turned to Zabuza, ignoring the blue man. "…You notice that he didn't deny my statement, right?"

"Oh, absolutely." The fellow swordsman nodded with a grin. "He's always been like that. If someone says something that mildly irritates him, he tries to strong arm and intimidate them into shutting up."

"Tch. You sure are cocky when you have backup, little Zabuza…" Grunted the tallest man there, smart enough to not push his luck or else he might cause a commotion… or prove Zabuza was right. "… I wonder if you'll still be like that when we fight and I shave you limb from limb…" He paused for a moment before relaxing a bit. "But… speaking of swordsmen fighting… check out those two brats over there. You might find them interesting…"

Zabuza glanced over to where Kisame was nodding his head to see the pair that he was talking about and frowned. "That kid has Hiramekarei… and that other one looks like…"

 _'Another legendary sword here?'_ Sasuke mentally groaned as he saw the wrapped up monstrosity the blue haired boy was leaning against the wall. ' _Tenten's chances of winning this thing just keep on getting higher and higher…'_ The Uchiha made a mental note that the boys were constantly stealing glances at their group…

"It's Mangetsu's little brother, Suigetsu." The shark man chuckled. "I've heard rumors that Hiramekarei is the only sword left that Kiri owns and that the rest of our old club is dead. It makes you wonder who offed them, doesn't it?" He put on a bloodthirsty grin. "Oh, if only I was the one who took them out… just like how I killed Fukugi-sensei and took Samehada from him… good times…"

 _'He killed his sensei for his sword… and can smile like that at the memory?'_ Tenten shivered. ' _This man is a monster!'_

"Samurai or not, keep on talking and I swear I will start our rematch early, chum bucket…" The assassination specialist growled irritably as he twitched for his sword.

The Akatsuki member shrugged. "Oh well. I guess we can continue this later. Later… little Zabuza…"

Sasuke let out the breath of air he had been holding for a while. "Damn… this is the second time I've seen him… but the amount of chakra he has and his killing intent…"

"Mangetsu's dead… and his brother is working with the kid that inherited his sword…" Zabuza chuckled sarcastically. "That really has to be a real kick to the 'nads for that kid…"

"Tenten… can you copy his sword?" Scabbard mused as he eyed the bandaged weapon on Kisame's back.

The girl frowned for a moment as she focused for a few seconds. "… Not yet. I need to see more of it in order to do so. Just seeing its general size, shape and its grip isn't enough even with my incantation… same goes for Hiramekarei…" She shook her head. "I can tell that Samehada does have a very long and bloody past… but that's about it…"

Scabbard nodded. "That is understandable… continue to look at everyone else's swords… no doubt there are some idiotic fighters that are taking them out to show off… but remember to use only the ones that have history to them as well in fights…"

"Yeah…" The girl replied as she continued to look around. She saw the Kiri ninja still where she last saw them, glancing at them every once in a while. Hiramekarei was wrapped up too, so she couldn't copy it either. However, she could get a good view of that broadsword that the other was carrying. True, she would most likely pass up using that weapon for Kubikiri Hōchō, but still it didn't hurt to have options…

The girl continued on to look at the various samurai and rogues in the huge room. Most of them had fairly standard weapons… mostly katana and Chinese style straight swords… though she remembered that samurai had a unique way of channeling their chakra into their weapons. Most of the rogue's weapons were in mediocre shape and out of the ones she saw, only one or two appeared to be in the hands of someone that might actually have a shot of making it to the finals. From what she could tell, that wolf man Ryoji was definitely one of the strongest contenders here.

Turning again, Tenten saw the Kumo shinobi they had met earlier leaning against a pillar. She still wasn't sure about teaming up with them, but she'd go with the plan for now… and that meant not talking to them… for now at least…

"Greetings, everyone, and welcome to the 17th international sword master competition." Stated an aged but firm voice above the crowd's random noise making, quickly gaining the attention of everyone there and making things quiet. Standing in front of one of the main entrances to the room was general Mifune himself accompanied by several more samurai, complete with his long hair, wrapped head, and neatly trimmed mustache and beard.

"… He looks pretty old…" Sasuke mused as he noticed the man's wrinkles and hair color as the latter continued on with his speech.

"The Sandaime and Waltz look old, too. Do you think it is smart to underestimate them?" Scabbard simply responded, getting slow nods of comprehension from the chūnin next to him.

"Now then, I will not bore you with my speech now, as I am saving it for the main events. Let us begin the preliminaries…" The general stated as several dozen samurai stepped out. "These men will be your proctors. There will be several tests to judge your potential for the main event in skill, power, and speed. Only the top 8 warriors in each division will be allowed to participate tomorrow, and the organization of the matches will be done after the participants have been decided. There are over 50 young ones here for the junior division and over 250 for the senior. Because of that, I simply ask you to wait your turn for evaluation. For any and all individuals familiar with ninja techniques here, let me remind you that use of any technique not directly related to your weapons for today's and tomorrow's events is strictly forbidden and will result in, at the bare minimum, expulsion from the event without negotiation. The sole exceptions to this rule are body enhancement techniques and bloodlines, as some arts require them in order to be performed. This goes double for any use of genjutsu on others. Now, if you would all just follow the examiners to the designated areas…"

As expected, the men followed their testers to a corner of the massive room. On the upper levels, there were balconies where various nobles and other wealthy individuals were watching the people there with interest.

"The first test will be of strength and power." Mifune announced standing in front of several of the massive columns in the room. "The task is simple. You each shall have 10 seconds to do as much damage as you can or desire to one of the pillars behind me. Please form lines for each pillar and wait for your examiner to give you permission to begin. You will be removed if you press for more time."

"Oi, is this guy serious?" Mumbled one rogue as he looked at the massive beams. "Damage to those things?"

"Who the hell does he think he's trying to fool?" Grunted a missing-nin. "The best anyone can do is scratch those things…"

Zabuza glanced at Scabbard. "… To save time… please be the last guy on your line…"

"That goes without saying…" The weapon forger replied nonchalantly as he casually walked to a line that seemed to be forming quite nicely.

Up on the balcony, there was some more talking going around…

"200 ryō says that Scab takes out an entire pillar." Kiba stated with a bill in his hands.

"The hell we're taking that bet." Kin grunted.

"500 says that he takes out some kind of weapon that we haven't even heard of before to do it and uses some absurd technique as well." Ino continued, ignoring the girl's moaning.

"Also an unadvisable wager…" Neji grunted, still eyeing Kisame incredibly warily and trying to get as much information from the man as possible.

Michiru turned to his dad. "Papa… I think we should bet on that guy to win. Our guards seem to be pretty confident in him…"

"Okay. I got a good one." Kiba grinned. "1000 says that at least half the guys entering bail after seeing Scab total the pillar…"

And so the testing of the power of the combatants began. Since there were roughly 300 participants and 10 examiners, the lines were not too long. The weaker participants were quickly identified as their attacks did little to no damage to the colossal stone cylinders, while as expected, the samurai participating used their specialized techniques to use shockwaves that gouged out chunks. A few rōnin proved that they were of notable talent as well, as they performed quick drawing technique to varying degrees of success, with the best being able to cut a bit more than half way through the pillar.

Tenten shocked many people in the area when her turn was called and she unleashed several massive chakra waves from Zangetsu that nearly cut through the support beam she was working on. Thanks to her water element, she managed to make at least half a dozen massive clean gouges in the construct without making it collapse. Unfortunately for her, though, the display of power had gained her the attention of nearly everyone in her division as well as the samurai. Sasuke's turn was slightly less flashy as he attacked his pillar in a Chidori-like manner, charging his sword with his lightning chakra and heading straight to the stone at incredible speeds before slashing its side deeply, u-turning, and slashing it again, repeating the process almost the same number of times that Tenten had hit her pillar. When his time was called, the Uchiha in turn quietly sheathed his weapon and walked away with a calm face on.

The Kumo shinobi for the most part didn't have much trouble with their pillars either. Karui and Omoi were somewhat practiced with using lightning chakra with their swords, Darui was very practiced with using lightning chakra with his massive cleaver, Atsui timed a fire blast from his sword rather well and took out a sizeable chunk from his pillar's side with the help of some of the already existing damage there, and Bee simply did his sword play with all 7 of his swords while wall walking on the side of the pillar and channeling lightning chakra, carving out a fair portion of the structure with at least half a hundred gouges. The display would have left a much better impression on others if Bee didn't try to start rapping and showing off when he was done. By this point, the lines were nearing the end of their wait.

"Humph… that idiot thinks he can upstage me?" Kurotetsu grunted out loud as he walked up and reached into his coat and took out a scroll, unraveling it to show multiple storage seals. "The low born fool doesn't know who he's trying to go up against…"

"Are you ready, sir?" The proctor asked as a cloud of smoke erupted and the man was seen holding a rather unique looking large sword. The body of the blade was a scroll in itself… with thousands of exploding tags as its paper and the end of the sheet wrapped around the blade.

"Shibuki…" Zabuza, Suigetsu, and Chōjurō gasped, not expecting the man to be in possession of one of the missing swordsman blades.

"This is certainly an interesting turn of events…" Mused Scabbard as he glanced to where Tenten was, and somewhat relieved to see that the girl had managed to see what was going on. "Two of seven down…" His thoughts were drowned out by the sudden explosions that were occurring where Kurotetsu's test was. By the end of the 10 seconds, the base of the pillar was reduced to such a condition that it was obvious that the rest of the line had to move to another target.

"And that is why I have the title of the Kenkage!" Yelled the large man in an overconfident manner, roughly hoisting the dangerous weapon onto his shoulders. "Even the famous tools of the Seven Swordsmen of Kiri are within my possession!"

Boom!

The man's ramblings were interrupted as the pillar next to his exploded, revealing a massive chunk out of the side of the structure missing… and Kisame standing next to said hole. "My, my… you know you really are quite overconfident…" The large man chuckled as he shouldered his own scaled blade. "Just because you have the loudest of my old village's weapons, you think you should be just as annoying." He grinned even more savagely. "I take it you are the one who took out Jinpachi, Jinin, Kushimaru, Mangetsu and Ameyuri and stole their weapons, neh? … Well, almost all of them…" He glanced at Chōjurō, who had already completed his test with flying colors and was now flying away from Kisame's hungry look.

Kurotetsu glared at Kisame before smirking and taking out his scroll again, withdrawing the missing swordsmen weapons that were famous throughout the shinobi nations. "Well, well… you got me, Kisame-san. I have a very nice collection, but these have always been rather useful to me. I'm actually thinking about completing the set soon, to tell you the truth…"

Zabuza frowned as he looked at his old home's weapons. On one hand, they were in mediocre care at best and there were some rough stains on the metal from poor cleaning…

On the other, not only did he now know what happened to the rest of the Seven Swordsmen's blades… but the idiot had revealed them all to Tenten, who was watching from a fair distance away. He mentally snorted. That bastard may have more than half of the weapons, but the girl was practically 5 of the swordsmen in one body now, swords and all. Sure, she was a bit on the small side at the moment, but that really didn't matter when a sword that blows shit up is heading straight for your head, now does it?

"Is that so?" Kisame mused in an entertained tone. "Well, I look forward to seeing how you go through with that… though I personally don't have high hopes for you. Samehada here is rather picky about who uses it…"

"No way…" Mumbled a man in front of Zabuza. He was a simple missing-nin by the look of his clothes. "There's no way I could stand up to guys like that… I'd get killed…"

A similar mindset was shared with many of the remaining and existing participants, causing many of them to begin walking out to the side of the area, probably indicating that they would stay to watch, but their thoughts on fighting in the event were gone. So much so that only Scabbard, Zabuza, and a handful of samurai and rather stupid looking ninja were left in the line waiting to be tested. There was still double that amount for the participants of the junior division, but that was simply because they weren't going to fight Kurotetsu or Kisame anyways.

"Well… at least now things will go a bit faster…" Zabuza mused as the single man in front of him went up to try and show his worth. Like Scabbard, he was also at the end of his line, but Scab still had about 3 more guys ahead of him. "… Still… If I fight that ass Kurotetsu, winning or not, I'm taking back those swords…" Glancing to his side, he saw that people were now looking at him expectantly, both ones he recognized and ones he didn't. He didn't like being paid attention to… it was part of the reason why he was so damn good at the Silent Killing technique. Sighing to himself and watching the samurai walk away after doing some mediocre damage to the pillar, the man stepped up. "Might as well give them something to gawk about…" He grunted as he took out his sword and smiled sarcastically to himself. "While I'm at it… I should probably beat Kisame's performance for kicks…"

"Name." The samurai asked him with a pen and clipboard in hand, despite the fact that he was still in full armor.

"Zabuza Momochi. Konoha-nin. Entry number 237." The man responded as he took a charging stance roughly 15 feet away from the fairly cut up pillar.

"Momochi…" The man mused as he took a second look at the man and the weapon he was using. "I see. Well then. You may start whenever you want, and I will call you when your time is up."

"I'll be done before then… though you might want to step back for a bit…" Grinned the demon as he rushed forward and stabbed the entire length of Kubikiri Hōchō into the stone, much to everyone's surprise. While normally a fatal attack on the living, such a maneuver doesn't really do much damage to a pillar… until they saw that the man was now gripping the sword with one hand and clearly channeling chakra with the other.

For many people, it looked as if time had slowed down, as all of a sudden the part of the pillar that Zabuza had stabbed exploded outward, giving way to a massive flood of water that had appeared from what seemed like the center of the construct. Stones and water both flew in all directions, though thankfully none managed to reach the nobles watching the spectacle. However, before the tsunami of stone and liquid fell upon those on the ground floor, the water seamlessly retracted in on itself back to its origin and swirled around a single point, disappearing as it did so. Near the end of the display, people could easily make out Zabuza's calm figure before the remaining water quickly melded with the sword that was already on the man's back again, leaving everything bone dry again and the man himself standing casually in the spot he was originally.

Eyes and mouths were wide open as they processed what they had just seen, and for many if they should continue to try to even hope of surviving if they make it to the finals.

"Wh-what the hell?" Suigetsu laughed nervously as he attempted to come to terms with what Zabuza just did with what was supposed to be a slightly modified Seven Swordsman weapon. "What the hell happened to Kubikiri Hōchō?"

Zabuza heard the boy's question and chuckled. "It got an upgrade, kid. To be honest, the guy who did the tweaking wanted to call it Suijin no Keiri (Executioner of the Water God), but I didn't want to bother changing the name. It didn't feel right to me…" He glanced back to see that the pillar he had torn apart had virtually the entirety of its bottom quarter blasted all over the place. Thankfully, the ceiling and the upper parts of the pillar were strong enough to keep the remains hanging above the ground, at least for the time being. "… So… I guess this means I passed, I guess…"

Kisame grit his teeth, both irritated and amused by Zabuza's stunt. "Well… at least now I know that killing him won't be as boring as I thought it would…" He mused. "That water absorbing ability he now has certainly made things more interesting, at least… I wonder what else he's learned lately…"

Turning to see who was left of those who still wanted to take the test, Zabuza noticed that only Scabbard was left, waiting and clearly not intimidated at all by the recent show of brute force. He estimated that out of the initial 250 fighters in the adult division, about 150 had decided to keep on going. Sighing to himself, Zabuza simply walked to the remaining entrants and shook his head. "Oh well, at least I had my 30 seconds of fame…"

"Water, water, everywhere, yet every drop's to kill. I'll never ask that guy for a drink, or he'll give me more than my fill…" Bee mused out loud, causing his teammates to sweatdrop and stare at him.

"That was bad… even for you…" Omoi shook his head.

"Man… that was not hot… it wasn't even lukewarm…" Atsui sighed.

Darui didn't say anything as Scabbard stepped up. It was about time he saw the man show some of his wares and tools…

"N-name…" The samurai asked Scabbard as the latter unzipped the front of his coat, revealing his dark green t-shirt with lightning tribal patterns underneath. The samurai was still clearly unnerved by Zabuza's recent performance.

"Scabbard Ōgakari. Registration number 221." The man answered in a bored tone as he reached inside the folds of his coat for a weapon to use.

"Right…" The man stated as he stepped back. "I will start the time as soon as you begin to attack. You will stop when I call time or I will disqualify you. Do you understand?"

In response, the man watched as Scabbard took out a massive black and glowing green broadsword from his coat which by all means should NOT have been able to fit inside. The sharp looking tip was rounded like a circle, but instead of edges, the side of the blade consisted of multiple thorn like protrusions. The weapon, which almost appeared to be as big as the wielder to the point that Scabbard was dragging it by its handle, was intimidating to say the least, if not a bit obscure for this situation. (A/N: Think of those broadswords from the .hack gu series… you know… the ones that looked like giant tricked out chainsaws.)

"And the god of obscurity has once again blessed us with its presence…" Zabuza rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Hah!" Kurotetsu laughed. "He's trying to pass the exam with THAT? Even if it is a strong looking weapon, he can barely pick it up!" The man's outburst prompted many other men to start chuckling at Scabbard as well.

The green haired man walked up to the pillar emotionlessly till he was almost 10 feet away from the stone. "Perfectly…" He droned before he charged forward and swung the monstrous blade in a perfect overhead strike… only for the entire edge to simply stick into the stone and remain there, barely making another mark other than the small holes the thorns on the sides had embedded themselves in.

"See!" Kurotetsu continued to roar. "And to think this fool had to nerve to…"

The man didn't have a chance to continue as a loud whirring sound occupied everyone's ears and the sword the short man was wielding shot up the pillar, dragging Scabbard with him. Everyone's eyes widened as the man reached height of the pillar and disengaged himself from it with 5 seconds left.

As soon as the weapon lost contact with the stone, its rotating increased by an unimaginable margin as did the noise it was making. They were both then accompanied by the distinct cracking and buzzing of extremely potent lightning chakra which was streamed into the tool and causing it to glow a menacing dark lightning green all around the edge of the blade and even extending it to the point that it was at least three times as long as it was originally. The glowing buzzing weapon of death was then whipped around as Scabbard relentlessly spun, flipped, and slashed at the pole as he fell back to the earth, hacking out enormous gouges in the process. At the last length of the pillar, the man swung the sword vertically down much like the first strike he had used, however this time instead of lodging the blade into the side of the pillar, not one, but three streams of chakra flew up the side instead just as the man landed on the ground, clearly indicating that the construct had been split into fourths before the entire thing began to collapse on itself, unable to sustain its shape after taking that much damage.

Pretty much everyone who wasn't used to this sort of display of power and some who were had their jaws on the floor at this point as they watched Scabbard dislodge the massive weapon from the stone, jump back slightly to avoid the falling debris, and sheathe it inside his coat, where it seemingly disappeared.

Mifune watched the events in front of him with a calm and impassive façade… however, on the inside he was quietly taking in all the information he had observed and using it to determine how to approach certain upcoming events…

"What… was that?" Sasuke asked, not really sure what he had just saw even with his eyes active for the display. "I've never seen something like that before.

"From what I could tell…" Tenten mused with her eyes focused on the disappearing weapon. "It's called Broad Fang. It uses a combination of its massive size and those rotating teeth on the side to do both massive blunt damage and tearing damage. It isn't used that much… but it's definitely not a weapon built for finesse or technique. Hell, it's supposed to be dragged on the ground like that. …It's just meant to do pure raw damage…"

The crowd remained quiet as Scabbard walked towards Zabuza, Tenten and Sasuke with a bored look on his face before briefly looking around at everyone's reactions.

"… I overdid it again, didn't I?"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Ah… you know… its nice going on missions that Naruto isn't on for a change…" Sakura sighed contently as she leaned up against a tree surrounding her patrol team's makeshift camping grounds. "No extra enemies. No hidden plots. Just a simple and straight forward mission…"

Shino shifted his glasses as he stirred their cooking meal over the fire in the camp. "I assume that such events that you are referring to have occurred frequently… both in this timeline and last…"

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Ugh. You have no idea. While the mission we visited wave was a horrible experience, it wasn't the only time we had to usurp control of a country from a tyrant. I was on the original trip to Snow. You obviously know about that one by now. Then there's that crap with the Land of Moon which Naruto is on right now… though I have no doubt that probably 10 new horrible things have happened to them by now. After that he went on a long training mission with Jiraiya, but immediately after he got back we had to deal with a kidnapped Kage, and THEN deal with some random demon threatening to bring about a new world order if we didn't manage it. It's like Naruto's presence alone just spurs on psychos to show up… and that was WITHOUT the Ōgakari annoying us every step of the way." By the end of her listing of things gone horribly wrong with Naruto around, Sakura had unconsciously snapped off a massive branch off of the tree she was leaning against with one arm.

"I… see…" Shino droned while at the same time carefully edging away from the girl. "Hopefully I played a productive role in some of these future exploits…"

"Uh…" Sakura blinked absently as she tried to think of her time with Shino after Naruto got back and his activities. "… Well… your team helped us out with this one tracking mission… though that one ended as a bust… and I'm fairly certain you helped your clan fight off an Akatsuki member really late on when they tried to invade Konoha… though from what I've heard, that ended in a draw…" The girl looked nervously to the side. "That's really all I can remember, really. I couldn't really pay much attention to what you were doing during the last fight. Sorry…"

Shino remained quiet for what seemed like an hour before he stood up. "… I have decided to request that Tsunade-sama put me on the next high ranked mission that Naruto is assigned to…"

Sakura paled. "No. No no no no no nooooooo. You do not want to ask that, Shino. Trust me. I WISH I had more normal missions than exciting ones. They are safe. They are predictable. They do not have S-ranked ninja trying to kill you… you haven't stared down one of those yet in this timeline. Let me tell you, you don't want to. You really don't."

Shino nodded. "I appreciate your concern, but I am most displeased with the amount of participation my previous self had, considering the situation. This is not simply to satisfy my curiosity or to bring honor to my clan. I wish to do this in order to better protect and aid everyone should things go wrong."

Sakura sighed and shook her head. "Shino. It's not that we don't doubt your ability. You are already incredibly skilled as you are, and there is little doubt that you will be at least as strong as your old self within the next year. We are not trying to baby you. I was brought in later than everyone else because my team encountered Orochimaru in the Chūnin Exams…" She shivered. "That man… if I had been myself during that fight… I probably would have caught his interest in some way and ruined things. I still get unnerved at the thought of even looking at him again…" She let out a slow breath. "Please… just wait a while before you do something that Naruto would do."

The Aburame remained quiet for several minutes before nodding slowly. "For the time being… I will comply with your request… because you are more knowledgeable to the situation than I am… however, I will inquire about the ranking of my strength rather frequently…"

"So long as you don't try to prank the ANBU and wear Lee's training suit, we will not file any complaints…" Sakura sighed, glad that she managed to convince Shino.

"Shino in Lee's getup? I'm fairly certain that Gai would be made a permanent enemy of the Aburame if that ever happened." Droned a bored Shikamaru as he walked into camp with Chōji following close by. "Food smells good. We'll have lunch, then it's your turn to go out."

"Anything interesting happen while we were gone?" Chōji asked as Shikamaru went into his bag to pick out a book on basic earth composition and crystal sciences. Apparently it was something that Shadow had forced him to begin studying before they left. For what reason only the insane woman and the Nara only knew, but the boy wasn't complaining that much, so it must have made sense to him.

"Oh, just about the usual. Bigger missions. Training. What kind of absurd situation Naruto's probably gotten everyone into now…" Sakura shrugged. "You know. The usual."

Chōji nodded. "Cool. Nothing interesting on our end. We stopped a couple of travelers, but they all had passports and mission statements and everything. So far other than that small group of small bandits we took out last week, this mission's been pretty uneventful."

"It's supposed to be." Shikamaru yawned as he opened his book and took out a bowl for his meal. "Eventful usually means that some group got past the border patrols and the patrols that guard the main roads further out into Fire country. If ninja got to us, that would either mean that they snuck past those groups, or they killed those groups. Neither are things that I enjoy envisioning. It's too depressing to go through and too troublesome to try and make it up in the first place."

"It's a shame that you do it so well, then…" Sakura rolled her eyes as she took another sip of the mush they called lunch. It wasn't bad, but the texture could definitely use work.

Chōji sniggered as he got food. "She has a point. For being a lazy guy, you pretty are pessimistic about these kinds of things."

"I'd rather be a party pooper than dead or tortured." The boy grunted as he turned a page. "Sorry to disappoint…" He raised an eyebrow. "Huh… so that's what she meant by the simplest things would be some of my strongest foundations…" He looked at Chōji and Sakura. "Hey, could one of you two help me out with some training later on? It won't be dangerous for any of us and I'll call it quits if any of us get too wiped. It's simply to test out a stronger defense technique I have in mind…"

The pair looked at one another before shrugging. "Sure." They responded at once.

"Thanks." The Nara nodded before putting the book down and began to eat. ' _If I can get this move down… I might have an even stronger defensive technique than Gaara's sand… in strength, at least…'_

o. o. o.

Back in Iron:

The second and third tests had come and gone and while there were no actual cuts from the entrants, the senior section had definitely shrunk. The second test was to take out as many combat mannequins as possible in a 15 second time limit, and thanks to some rather convenient seals, the same puppets could be used for each test. Kisame, Zabuza, Darui, Zurich, Ryoji, and Tenten tore through the dummies with relentless fervor and massive blades while everyone else in their respective groups who weren't immortal went with the swift speed demon approach with their more reasonably sized weapons. Bee of course was a spinning pointy mess of death with the puppets that didn't really fall into either category, yet once again caused everyone to disregard his skill once he began to try and rap and brag about his power… again. Kurotetsu decided to try and piss off Kisame and Zabuza again by whipping out Nuibari (Sewing Needle) and piercing through almost half of the puppets. He managed to irritate them at best, as the man's form still needed some work and the disregard for the weapon's care was made apparent from how he handled the tool.

Scabbard on the other hand, staying in true Ōgakari fashion, once again felt the subconscious need to do something different. The man in response to these urges whipped out a pair of black and white falchions, known as Kanshō and Bakuya according to Tenten, and threw them like boomerangs charged with lightning chakra at awkward angles, decapitating a large number of puppets in the process. Not to be outdone, the man took it a step further and took out a rather normal looking straight sword while the two weapons were flying and began to make short work of the puppets nearby. When the black and white blades returned to him in the middle of the crowd of dolls, the man would casually toss up the third blade, catch the flying first two, chuck them in new directions, catch the third and repeat the process until time was up. The moment time was called, the two flying blades impaled themselves into the chests of two dolls right next to the casually standing man, who was already putting away his third tool. Roughly 80 percent of the dolls were 'fatally injured'. Those who had sharp ears heard the man mutter something along the lines of 'green haired tri-blade masters for the win, mother fucker…' and 'Zolo lost another bet…', but they decided to ignore it for the most part.

The last tests were set up as practice one on one spars with wooden swords against another set of proctors. No jutsu or chakra. Just straight up technique. Many of the more experienced fighters there guessed that this was what would determine their passing or failing the most. There were different sized weapons to match the participant's fighting styles. It was fairly uneventful other than a few interesting fights and Kisame almost killing his armored opponent in a rather brutal fashion where he literally ran the man through within the first 10 seconds of the match with a standard katana sized piece of wood, then chuckled in his defense with an excuse claiming that he thought that the samurai's armor would have been strong enough to protect him. In hindsight… it really was the samurai's fault for underestimating the man. He actually thought he had a chance against the big blue monster when he wasn't using Samehada.

The population of the senior section dropped once again to only about 90 participants at this point. Almost the entirety of the men and some women there were frequently glancing at the defined heavy hitters, who were Scabbard, Zabuza, Kisame, Bee, and Kurotetsu. Darui and Ryoji also got some attention, but there were some samurai that could definitely give them a run for their money.

The junior section, on the other hand, had remained relatively the same. Despite several wary glares between the ninja and samurai there, nothing exceptional had broken out yet. Apparently Chōjurō's meek personality canceled out Suigetsu's overconfident one enough that the white haired boy didn't try to do something stupid like try to talk to Zabuza or piss off the samurai. The latter in particular needed to be avoided after Kisame ran his proctor through, as the action made the noble warriors keep a guarded stance against the shinobi guests, especially ones that fell into the category of missing-nin or served as a Kiri shinobi at one point.

"Damn…" Sighed a masked man with a large sword and a Kusa headband as he approached the Konoha group, shaking his head. "I honestly can't tell if I'll be glad making it to the finals or not. If I make it, I'll be known as one of the best, have some kind of cash prize… and most likely dead after the first round. If I don't, I'll go back home disappointed and the butt of my teammate's jokes for two months… and alive… most likely. Man, I can't wait for this tournament to be over with already so I can relax again…"

 _'That's what you think, poor unknowing pawn…'_ Scabbard mentally mused.

"I'd say your chances are 50/50, Zurich." Zabuza shrugged. "You weren't half bad back in Wave and you had that weird Grass Blade technique that let you do a fair bit of damage to the supports. I didn't pay much attention to your other tests, though."

"Thanks, but the main problem is that I don't really know what I want at this point." The man sagged. "Kuma and Rika are going to have a field day with this either way."

"Speaking of decisions, how much longer do you think we will have to wait?" Sasuke mused, looking around. "I haven't seen that Mifune guy since the end of the first test…"

"He's probably one of the ones in charge of determining who goes to the finals and who doesn't." Zurich mused. "It's gotta suck to be him right now…"

Tenten raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Why's that?"

Zabuza shook his head. "Normally a good number of the finalists are the locals. They usually have the advantage in numbers and the fact that normally strong ninja don't want to come to events like these…" He nodded his head to the various strong ninja around them. "… But with so many foreign powerhouses here, there's a bit of a conundrum. It would look really bad for this place if none or at most one samurai was in each division."

"But the thing is that there're more than a few contestants in each section that have more than obviously made it to the finals." Scabbard continued. "If they try to knock off too many outsiders then things here could easily get messy. Remember, this event was originally designed to show off their abilities, not the ones of other nations."

"That makes sense…" Tenten muttered as she looked up to where the nobles were also starting to get restless. "It would be nice to talk to everyone to relieve stress… but we don't want to draw attention to them, do we?"

"Considering Kisame's here and he is the type to go after them for kicks… yeah, I agree." Zabuza grunted irritably before glancing at one of the main entrances. "Heads up. Old man turban's back with the results."

Just as Zabuza mentioned Mifune's presence, the aged man did in fact appear alongside his fellow samurai. "Thank you all for being patient while we made our decisions…" The man stated calmly as he looked around to see all of the warriors in front of him and the nobles standing on the balcony. "I must admit that I am most surprised by the diversity of warriors that have graced us with their presence for this event. Despite some… unexpected events… I believe that this was one of our most successful and eventful preliminaries this tournament has had in a long time." Very few people in the room didn't glance at Kisame warily at this point.

Said blue man was simply sniggering to himself at the recent memory. "What? It's not like I killed him. I'm pretty sure that I avoided most of his organs… though to be honest, it's been a while since I used a normal weapon…"

"With that being said however, we still could only allow 8 warriors from each division to progress into the main event." The man continued, ignoring Kisame's taunting. "After much debate amongst myself and several judges consisting of some of our finest and most impartial men, allow me to announce the finalists. For the junior division, the following have proven able enough to represent themselves, their styles, and their homes in tomorrow's events. When I call your name, please stand in line in front of me so that the nobles here can get a good look at you." He took out a sheet of paper and cleared his throat. "Daisuke Himura…" A samurai boy who was roughly a head shorter than his peers walked forward. "Yoshi Kagamane…" Another samurai walked up, but this one was a head taller than most of the men there, almost on par with Kisame. "Tenten Higurashi…" Mifune continued, glancing at the girl who smiled nervously and walked forward. "Chōjurō of Kiri." The blue haired boy walked up, unable to lift his eyes from the ground. "Atsui of Kumo."

"All right! I'm on fire, baby!" The excited boy claimed as he ran up, getting disapproving looks from nearly all the fighters in the room.

"He's not going to last long…" Zabuza rolled his eyes.

"Sasuke Uchiha…" Mifune spoke, not at all paying attention to the previous boy's antics, and prompting the quiet boy to walk forward. Many people started whispering at the boy's name for obvious reasons. Even if the clan was all but dead, the Uchiha name was still fairly well known in many parts. "Karui of Kumo." The dark skinned girl walked up, grinning at her accomplishment. "… And Suigetsu of Kiri." Mifune finished, waiting for the white haired sharp toothed boy to walk up with a dangerous smirk on his face. "These 8 young ones have proven themselves to have exceptional skill and power. They have shown today that they have the potential to become great individuals when they are fully grown and are on the path to become just that." The samurai general announced loudly to everyone in the room.

Chōjurō sheepishly scratched the back of his head and looked down. Obviously, the boy was not used to getting compliments.

"Man… I didn't make it…" Omoi moaned as Bee patted him on the back sympathetically before the boy began to shiver with wide eyes. "What if Raikage-sama hears about this and thinks that I need more training… and then…"

A samurai walked up next to Mifune holding up a box. "To decide pairings, the participants will draw a position number from this box. There will be no looking and there will be no second chances." He looked at the participants. "Daisuke. You have the first choice."

The short armored boy bowed deeply before reaching into the box and taking out a paper with the number 4 on it and walking back.

"8." Yoshi grunted as he took out his paper, showing it to everyone there.

"7." Tenten stated as she took out her paper.

Yoshi sniggered. "This will be easy. The panda girl looks like she can only take a few hits. Plus, she doesn't even have a rack, so she can't use any seduction crap on anyone…"

"I will castrate him in front of everyone…" The faker growled as Chōjurō went up ahead and picked his number.

"6…" He said meekly. "I hope I do well…"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes and slapped the boy upside the head. "You have Hiramekarei and made it to the finals. Stop being such a pussy for once…" He looked to where Atsui was getting his turn.

"2? Damn! I was hoping to be number 1 all the way…" The boy moaned out loud.

"Please let me fight him." Karui prayed to no one in particular. "I know for a fact that Samui would not at all blame me if I happened to kill him… or cut out his tongue by accident…"

"3." Sasuke said out loud as he glanced at the smaller samurai who he was pitted up against. "Guess we're fighting tomorrow."

Daisuke nodded. "I hope our fight will be a most enjoyable and honorable one Uchiha. I have heard many interesting things about your clan…"

Sasuke smirked. "… Which means you haven't heard much about me. Don't put too much reliance on what you think you know of my family or you'll lose…"

A small chuckle could be heard from the other boy's helmet. "You are certainly an interesting opponent. I look forward to tomorrow…"

"Damn it!" Karui's voice interrupted the two boys' conversation as they turned to see the girl holding a paper with the number 5 on it. "I wanted to kill… I mean fight Atsui!"

"Don't worry hot stuff! We'll do it in the finals!" The clueless boy grinned cheekily.

Suigetsu blinked as he looked around and did some math in his head. "Wait… I'm the only one left, which means…" He looked at the fire boy from Kumo. "Man… I mean… yeah this is probably my best matchup… but honestly, did my first fight have to be so… annoying?" He shook his head. "I don't even know if I want to fight anymore if it means I have to deal with this idiot right off the bat…"

"And then after the rats I have befriended get into the power station, instead of chewing the lines like I told them to, they…" Omoi continued to rant without really thinking, causing many to stare at him warily.

"The kid definitely needs some help with that…" Zabuza shook his head as a samurai took out a tournament board that showed the matches for the junior event.

"So as everyone can see…" Mifune began to explain. "This is how the matches will be organized. Suigetsu will be fighting Atsui, then Sasuke vs. Daisuke. Karui and Chōjurō, and finally Tenten and Yoshi. The winners of the first two matches will fight next followed by the winners of the last two. The final round will be the winners of those previous matches. This is the way the senior matches will be set up as well." He looked around again at all the participants and nobles… before taking out a small set of paper slips and placing them into the placing box. Zabuza noticed that Scab's eyes flashed in almost an amused way as the old man did so and the box was shaken to randomize the slips. "Now I will announce the fighters for the senior division…"

"I take it something good happened?" Zabuza whispered to Scabbard curiously.

"You'll see…" The immortal responded as Mifune looked at the list he was handed and cleared his throat.

"The finalists are: Aoshi Watanabe…" Again, a rather short samurai with several short katana stepped forward. "Saito Yukimura…" This time rather than a samurai, a noble looking swordsman in formal robes walked forward. "Kisame Hoshigaki…"

Many people started to grumble irritably as the not surprised chuckling blue man walked forward.

"Darui of Kumo." Mifune continued, prompting the tired looking black man to walk forward. "Bee Killer…"

"Oh yeah! You boys haven't seen nothin' till you get to see from me a little somethin'! All hail the Bee!" The jinchūriki raved as he danced forward, causing many people to shake their heads in disbelief that they were beaten by this idiot.

"Kill me now…" Karui moaned with her face in her hands.

"Zabuza Momochi…" The turban man continued, watching as the fellow wrapped man walked silently to the rest of the group. "Kurotetsu Yoshimaru…"

"Be grateful…" The man grinned as he stood next to the rest of the finalists. "You'll have the honor of being a part of the start of my famous legacy…"

"… and finally, Scabbard Ōgakari." Mifune concluded, prompting the shortest of the finalists to walk forward and to the opposite end of where Kisame was standing. It wasn't hard to tell that Kurotetsu wasn't pleased to see that the green haired man who had only the day before been cowering at the sight of him (his fangirls).

"An interesting lineup…" Neji mused as he eyed the adults. "Had the matches allowed for the use of any ninjutsu they wanted, I doubt that civilians would be allowed to watch…"

"You think Scab is going to use that massive sword for the fight?" Kin asked almost eagerly. "I mean, it was slow, but watching that thing in action…" She laughed.

"I do not think he will." Lee shook his head. "I have heard that he is one that occasionally likes to show off when he is able to. He will most likely use those black and white swords for the finals as his main weapons. He seemed to be more comfortable with them."

"I agree with Lee." Hinata nodded while noting that Sai was channeling small amounts of chakra in the background. ' _What is he doing?'_

"And now to determine the matches for the senior fights." Mifune announced as the samurai held the box to Aoshi.

"2." A muffled voice announced, holding the paper out so everyone could see.

"7." Saito said with an elegant and calm voice, much like a Hyūga's.

"5." Kisame chuckled with a wide grin, causing the samurai with the box to stumble away nervously.

"4." Darui yawned and scratched his side.

"8!" Bee laughed before looking at Saito. "Yo home, I be yo foe tomorrow! The great 8 will clean the slate!"

"It will be an interesting match… that much is certain…" The robed man stated in monotone, confusing many into wondering if the man was stating a fact or insulting Bee.

 _'Please stop talking, please stop talking, please stop talking, please stop…'_ Zabuza chanted in his mind before everything went deadly quiet. "6." He stated emotionlessly as he glanced at the incredibly happy Kisame.

"Well, well." The shark man laughed as if Christmas came early. "Isn't this a surprise? I get to kill little Zabuza right off the bat…"

"Funny…" The Demon of the Hidden Mist chuckled as the air thickened and the image of a massive demon rose from behind the man as he glared at Kisame. "I was about to say the same thing…"

"Presence…" Hinata whispered, surprised that the man had also managed to get a hang of the chakra amplifying technique.

"You mean that thing that the Ōgakari and Naruto can do?" Ino asked curiously. "Didn't Anko-sensei and Hana-sensei use it back in Spring?"

"Yeah…" Kiba nodded. "But I didn't know Zabuza could use it too…" He looked around. "You guys know if the rest of our teachers can use it yet?"

"No." Neji shook his head as the sensation died down and Zabuza got back into his spot. "Though I suspect it will only be a matter of time before they either tell us or learn how to do so…"

"Heh… as expected." Kurotetsu smirked as he held out the paper with the number 1 on it. "Even the fates know that I'm the best…"

"The remaining number is 4, which will be given to Scabbard Ōgakari…" Mifune stated, glancing at the green haired man.

"A convenient match up." The Ōgakari stated to Darui who was standing next to him.

"I guess." The Kumo shinobi shrugged to his opponent. "Hope you don't think that I'll just test you and then drop from this thing…"

"I'd be insulted if you did." Scabbard chuckled.

"So the pairings have been decided." Mifune announced again as another board was posted up for everyone to see. "Kurotetsu vs. Aoshi. Scabbard vs. Darui. Kisame vs. Zabuza, and finally Saito vs. Bee. The announcements will be posted all over the city soon and betting pools will be established by 10 pm tonight. Please remember that the events will begin 10 am tomorrow morning, at which time the pools will be closed for the junior division. Each division's events will last for 5 hours at the most, so the festivities will last at longest until 8 pm tomorrow night. Any disputes or fighting between the participants before their scheduled matches is of course forbidden and punishable by immediate disqualification followed by immediately being escorted out of the country." He bowed deeply. "I thank you all for your attendance for today's events, and look forward to seeing you all tomorrow…"

As the room grew with the mutterings and conversations of several hundred people, Zabuza turned to Scabbard. "You fixed the matches, didn't you?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Scab replied in a dry and bored tone… which would have fooled anyone who didn't know better.

"Please." Zabuza rolled his eyes. "I get Kisame right off the bat and the winner most likely fights Bee? You are going to fight Darui, then most likely that Kurotetsu idiot? This is almost a best case scenario matching to get what we want…"

"Or it's the sheer enormous amount of raw dumb luck that Naruto was missing finally coming back to us." Scabbard shrugged.

The larger of the two frowned. "… You know… as convenient and actually believable as it sounds, I am distinctly convinced you still had something to do with it."

Scabbard remained quiet as the crowd thinned out a bit more and Tenten and Sasuke finally joined up with them. "I'll tell you about it later… all you need to know is that the next step in the plan is going to be one of if not the most important one that will be the most difficult to work around if not achieved…"

"Oh?" Zabuza asked curiously, a bit nervous at what the man was planning. "And what may I ask needs to be done?"

Scabbard glanced at Kisame's retreating figure as it left the building. "… We need you to beat Kisame in the tournament…"

o. o. o.

Later in Iron:

Ao looked at the letter one of the men in his charge left him for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Once again, countless ideas, thoughts, plans, possible traps, and consequences ran through his mind at incredible speeds before they returned back to the piece of information that was at the core of it all. "Kisame is here too…" He muttered as he glanced at the postings for the next day…

He shook his head and decided to go back to the hotel that he and the rest of the Kiri shinobi were using. He needed more time to think… and he was fairly certain that his final decision would be made after the first few fights of the senior division…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"You know… I'm thinking of taking the jōnin exam soon…" Anko mused as she sat on a table while Hana worked. "You should too… I mean, we're obviously two of the strongest kunoichi in the village. We both have the techniques and the experience to handle heavy situations. Plus, I heard that the Hokage's been cracking down on some of the less productive members of the council and ranking shinobi…"

Hana shook her head. "I don't know. I mean yeah, being in ANBU helped me out with the rough missions and annoying paperwork, but I don't really see the point right now. I'm good with my current rank. Sure, I can't get bigger pay, but I don't get stuck on those massive missions that take me away from home for so long…"

"Then just be one of those high ranking medics." Anko shrugged. "They go on a few big medical emergency missions, get private training from Tsunade, and the rest of the time they pretty much stay here working on the jobs that Tsunade doesn't wanna bother with. Plus, since you're a heavy combat and tracking type, you pretty much can take any mission you want and stay here under the excuse of taking medical duty whenever you want." She scratched her chin. "You know, if you really want to push for extra time here, you can always take a genin team like Kurenai did or start training vets for your clan. Honestly? You have more leeway than I do after getting the promotion."

The Inuzuka heiress sighed. "You forgot one thing, Anko. If I become a jōnin, I'll outrank my mom in Konoha's forces…"

Anko paled. "Ah, that's right. Tsume's a special jōnin like me… so that would mean that you'd…"

"Yeah… sooner or later, I would have to challenge her as clan head, since clan rules state that since I'm next in line to be clan head and have a large enough standing in the village's forces to challenge her decisions." Hana shivered. "Plus, me having a higher rank than mom is just a creepy idea. If I do go for a promotion, the highest I'll go for is special jōnin. I'm not ready to even consider being the head of the clan yet. Besides…" She snipped the last piece of cloth and fused its end to the rest of the long strip that had completely mummified Ghost's head. "I'm having too much fun with my free time and training here as it is.

"I'm still surprised that my mesh bodysuit could do that much damage…" Anko mused as she looked at her pouch where her previous and very bloody suit was put. "Who knew rubbing a man's head into my boobs could be considered such a dangerous technique?"

"Muh gurgle hahumfurama." Ghost mumbled from behind the wrappings.

"Oh grow up." The Inuzuka rolled her eyes. "The damage you got was nowhere near as bad as what Anko usually does to you."

"Ao muhashihafa!" Responded the irritated man.

"True… normally I only do that to your stomach, pecks or ass cheeks." Anko nodded convinced. "Doing it to the face is a lot harder and more annoying to deal with."

"Aho!" The immortal raised his arms in the air.

"Calm down already." Hana pushed the immortal's shoulders back. "If you keep on talking like that, you're going to shift your bandages or reopen your wounds."

The door to the room opened. "Hey Hana, I saw that the jōnin exams were coming up and I…" Tsume paused as she saw Ghost's head wrapped up and Hana over him trying to push him down again. "… Is this another thing you got yourself interested in, or is there an actual reason for this… because in all honesty, I could buy either excuse at this point, considering the fact that this idiot is involved…" The woman deadpanned.

"Auhomuhaiahikuao ahhicion eheiriaio." Ghost mumbled out in a cheerful tone, causing Anko to burst out laughing and Hana to go beet red before jumping off the man.

"I take it I really don't want to know what he just said." Tsume grunted glancing at Anko and noting that her daughter went for a bottle of rubbing alcohol after a few seconds of calming down.

"Trust me…" Anko laughed as her friend unscrewed the top and poured the contents on Ghost's head, causing him to scream large amounts of curses and roll off the table in pain. "You don't or you'd help hurting him."

The clan head glanced at the screaming man rolling on the floor screaming mumbled gibberish. "…I honestly do think that if I castrated him right now he wouldn't feel anything…" She stated out loud before shaking her head. "Never mind. Odds are you two have done something similar to him already." She turned to her daughter. "Hana. I want you to take the jōnin exam."

The room went silent… minus Ghost's persistent thrashing. "Wait… what?" The teen gaped. "Why? I mean, you do know that if I get the promotion…"

"You'd still have to be approved by the rest of the higher ranking clan members and express an actual desire to lead the clan before anyone would start to consider the possibility of you challenging my position." Tsume sighed. "Why do you think that Kōga and some members of the assault branch have almost never brought up the idea of becoming clan heads? They need to be accepted by the elders first. And let me tell you, they are not dumb enough to let some egotistical half feral member lead us, even if they do technically outrank me on the battlefield. True, some of your cousins have attempted to take my spot every once in a while, but so far I've done a good enough job that not many people have wanted me out."

Hana's eyes widened. "But… but ever since Kōga, I've been getting too much attention around the village. I'm just not comfortable with that much responsibility yet, mom…"

Tsume rolled her eyes and pointed to Anko and Ghost. "Not ready for responsibility? Hana, you're the best vet in the village, one of the best medics, and you babysit those two so much that you're near the top of the list of people to get if one of them goes nuts, and yes, there is a list. In all honesty, you already have more on your plate than most jōnin have for the first few years of service. Trust me, you're ready."

The teen stared at her mother for several seconds before tearing up and hugging her mom. "I really don't know if I'll get it… but thanks…" She mumbled into her mother's vest.

"Please." Tsume laughed. "I'm considered one of the strongest special jōnin here and you're clearly stronger than I am. I won't have someone of my blood so damn strong and not psychotic and still be only a chūnin. You have to have more confidence in yourself…" She glanced to where Ghost and Anko were still preoccupied with Ghost's pain… and noticed the man's glasses on a shelf nearby. The woman mentally sighed. One of the biggest mysteries concerning the Ōgakari was Ghost's eyes… and to this day only Naruto, Hana, and Anko were publicly the only ones that have seen what was underneath… though she had reason to believe that Kiba knew as well.

Despite the chaos and insanity that the new clan represented, it was still near impossible to gain enough of their trust to actually learn something both new and not stupid about them… and everyone in the village knew it. "I trust you with my life, and so do these two. I can tell because the idiot there has only been pissing me off when you're around… though most of the time, he really just uses you as a barrier between us, but you get the point. Nice job with the alcohol, by the way. The point is that you are one of the most responsible people I know, age be damned. Take the exams. Kick ass. Make the idiot miserable in my stead, and make me proud."

"I will…" The girl smiled.

"Ah, how sweet… doesn't this give you a warm fuzzy feeling?" Anko smiled with her arms crossed.

Ghost wept and mumbled in pain, clearly getting 'warm fuzzy feelings' from a different source at the moment.

o. o. o.

Iron:

"So dobe, did you do whatever the hell it was that Scab sent you to do today?" Sasuke asked as the group prepared to get some sleep for tomorrow.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. I managed to get all of them done without losing my head somehow." He shivered. "I honestly do think that I had the most dangerous day out of everyone…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yes, because standing less than 5 feet away from Kisame clearly was not high enough on the death wish list for someone like yourself."

The blonde wept comically. "I only wish it was…"

"Hey…" Tenten walked in with boyish sleepwear on. "Speaking of unnatural standards, I've been wondering, why did the Chūnin Exams have the month break between the participant decisions and the finals and this one didn't?"

"According to Scab, it's to keep things fair." Sasuke mused. "Because there are more sketchy individuals here, it's much more likely that some of the Daimyō and other nobles would try to sabotage the other fighters. The more time there is, the more likely it is that someone's not going to make it. Samurai are noble guys, but that doesn't mean they turn a blind eye to this kind of stuff or aren't used to it. They just suck at preventing it from happening compared to ninja. The one day thing is to prevent any elaborate plans from being made, leaving only the half assed ones that fail frequently left."

Naruto nodded. "Makes sense. There isn't a lot a person can do or set up to prevent a master level fighter from getting between points in a city within a day…" He yawned. "Well… we've all had long days. I'm going to sleep. I've made my bets already for tomorrow, so it really is only a matter of me doing more crap that Scab wants me to do and grabbing my butt load of money…"

Both Sasuke and Tenten rolled their eyes in irritation as the blonde nearly immediately passed out… before glaring at each other intently.

"He so bet on me…" Tenten growled. "I'm Scabbard's apprentice. He knows that students of the Ōgakari have insane tricks…"

"In your dreams." Sasuke snorted. "Dobe knows firsthand what I can do. Plus, my Sharingan will make fighting here a cakewalk if I actually come across someone who can pose a challenge…"

Tenten saw red. "Oh, you did not just call me weak little boy…"

In the next room over, Scabbard and Zabuza were simply lounging about.

"So who do you think the blonde bet on?" The assassin asked bored.

"Don't know." Yawned the lightning element. "He probably guessed that the two would be in the finals and then flipped a coin when he couldn't come to a conclusion."

A crash was heard in the next room.

"Sounds about right." Zabuza nodded as he banged on the wall behind his bed. "You two shut the fuck up or I'll make sure neither of you make it to the tournament tomorrow!" Within seconds, everything was quiet again.

"So you going to sleep too?" Scabbard asked, glancing at the man. "Done with preparations?"

The larger of the two yawned. "Yeah. I just put an extra load of chakra into my water reserves." He chuckled. "Gotta say though, I'm gonna enjoy the look on Kisame's face tomorrow when he realizes that he can't use any of his ninjutsu, but I can…"

"Just don't draw it out…" Scabbard yawned as he lay down in his bed. "Kisame appears to be the type that loses his cool when angered and under pressure…"

Zabuza rolled his eyes. "You don't need to tell me that…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in Iron:

"So what can you tell me about the brats fighting in the tournament?" Kakuzu asked Kisame. "I want to know who to bet on before we go hunting…"

"You really are a greedy zombie…" Kisame chuckled as he drank some tea. "Aren't my winnings, the bets you put on me, and Zabuza's bounty going to be enough for you?"

"You can never be too careful about these kinds of things." The miser frowned, not happy with the nickname that Kisame gave him. "The more money we get, the better off we'll be later on, especially if something happens and our targets get away…"

Hidan snorted as he took another bite out of his dinner of ribs. "Those weak fools won't get away from us. They're all destined to be sacrificed to Jashin-sama…"

"I wouldn't be too sure…" Kisame sniggered. "Little Zabuza is famous for being the best at silent assassination and the Kirigakure technique… it wouldn't be that hard for him to escape us if we gave him an opening…" He sipped more tea. "However, back to your original question… you'd be interested to hear that Itachi's little brother Sasuke is in the junior division…" He grinned showing his sharp teeth. "From what I remember, he's managed to activate his eyes to a pretty high level and has some interesting tricks for his sword…" He glanced to the room where Itachi was supposedly resting. "Of course, he seemed pretty pissed when he saw me because he knows that I'm always with Itachi…"

"That clan of theirs has always been interesting to watch…" Kakuzu mused. "On the battlefield, the members of their clan either got themselves killed because their ego was too big and they depended too much on their eyes, or they ended up taking out everyone they came across…" He looked at the scheduling of the fights. "And who do you suppose would be the most likely to win from the other half? I am guessing that brat that has another one of your old home's swords…"

Kisame tilted his head. "Oh? Betting on one isn't enough for you? I didn't know you were a gambling addict."

Kakuzu shook his head. "It's a standard gambling strategy. Put a fair amount of money on the most likely to win from each block and you have a high chance to come out of the thing with a healthy profit."

Kisame shrugged. "If that's what you believe…" He glanced at the four names listed on the paper for a few seconds. "You know… Hiramekarei is an interesting sword to watch in action…" He then pointed to Tenten's name. "But I kept on feeling that the other Konoha brat might be hiding something. I saw her looking at everyone's swords in an odd way that I can't put my finger on… plus, Itachi's little brother seemed to talk and treat her as if she was worth fighting…"

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow. "The odds of her making it far aren't high… actually, she's next to the lowest compared to that Kumo girl… a dark horse?" He scratched the side of his head. "… With all the trouble Konoha has apparently been giving us lately and the rumors about their brats… I'm actually willing to give you the benefit of the doubt." He rolled up the paper. "I'll put money on Itachi's brother to win… but also for the girl to make it to the finals… If I make a fair amount off of her, I'll give you a cut. It's good business procedure to pay the guy with info…"

"Whatever you say, Kakuzu…" Kisame chuckled. "To be honest, though, my day will be made when I slaughter Zabuza in front of his comrades…"

The heart stealer smirked. "And that's why I bet on you to win…"

o. o. o.

The next day:

Naruto sighed as he ran from rooftop to rooftop, repeatedly going over in his head the new list of shit he needed to do and the various paths he would need in order to complete them, ranging from reasonably logical to stuff that he would definitely be exacting revenge over later. Making sure that the amount of chakra infused air was kept to a minimum around Kisame, the boy began to look for the individuals he needed to get into contact with or know the locations of…

… He tried his hardest to ignore Scabbard's chakra skyrocket as his group was blocked by what felt like several dozen females…

Oh how he truly… TRULY hated this mission…

o. o. o.

Inside the arena waiting area:

Darui sighed as he saw Zabuza, Sasuke, Tenten, and a rampantly twitching Scabbard approach them again. "Fangirls again?"

"Impure harpy demons of the highest order…" The green haired man hissed.

"I barely managed to maneuver the situation so that it wouldn't end in a massacre." Zabuza wept. "He had even taken out that monster broadsword from yesterday before they got out of our way…"

"After their bodies would have been confirmed dead… I would have sterilized the entire area to prevent the infestation from spreading… with fire…" The Ōgakari twitched psychotically, causing many to step away from him.

"Someone say my name?" Atsui popped up curiously from the other side of the room and completely clueless to the situation. "I could have sworn someone mentioned me…"

"Huh… so you managed to get here after all…" Snorted Kurotetsu who was standing alone and almost bored. "I thought you would have run off, seeing as you were in the same block as me…" He smirked. "I mean, you're already so shaken up from just being here. How can you possibly even win your first match?"

"I will end you, puppeteer of the soulless hoard!" Scabbard roared as he took out Kanshō and Bakuya and attempted to get closer to the source of his rage and swinging wildly, only to be held back by the rest of his group by grabbing his coat.

"Why the hell is he like this NOW?" Tenten moaned. "He's supposed to be one of the sane members of his family!"

"Sanity is only the general term used to describe when they don't feel like doing something stupid…" Sasuke grunted.

"Man…" Karui moaned as she watched the four screw around. "And here I thought that I had finally come across a strong guy that was both cool and sane for once…"

"Hey! What about your sensei?" Bee asked defiantly.

"If you have to ask, then you already answered your question…" The girl wept.

"Aw, man. Everyone's already getting heated up. This is gonna be awesome!" Atsui grinned.

"Boy, if I wasn't trying to prevent first degree murder here, I swear I would be cutting out your tongue now!" Zabuza roared.

"Just let him go already." Kurotetsu rolled his eyes. "It's not like the munchkin actually stands a chance against me anyways. I'd just beat him into the ground and take all his weapons… though to be honest, the only one that seems to be interesting to me is that large one he used yesterday. The ones he's using now are pretty useless other than the fact that you can throw them and they come back. Really, they're better suited to be wall ornaments… honestly, I feel sorry for any idiot who actually used them in battle…"

As if hitting an invisible switch, the man's words seemed to instantly calm down the raging man and made him stop moving almost instantly.

Sasuke, Zabuza, and Tenten were both shocked and now incredibly nervous at what the man's sudden change in demeanor represented.

The standard bored eyes Scabbard usually had were back… although there was a clear sign of irritation in them now. "… I must inform you of a mistake you have made about me… Shadow of Blades…" The air around the group seemed to become still as the man turned around calmly to walk away. "… Even though I entered myself into this little event… I do not consider myself a sword master in the slightest… and that is why I will beat you when we fight…"

This raised many curious eyebrows from the contestants who were listening into the conversation. "What the hell are you talking about?" Kurotetsu blinked.

Scabbard shook his head and walked away, putting his black and white swords back in his coat. "I'll give you a small hint. It's the reason why I can hold Samehada without worry and you can't."

Kisame frowned and walked up to the man, deciding that he had kept quiet long enough. "That's a big statement for such a small person. What makes you think that Samehada will let you hold it? It's very picky, you know…"

"There is no blade that you can use that I can't!" Kurotetsu grunted. "It's clear to everyone with two eyes that I'm the greatest sword user here…"

"Kisame…" Scabbard mused. "Would you mind lending me Samehada so that I can shut this idiot up for the time being?"

The blue man, along with the Kumo and Konoha shinobi looked at the man incredulously before Kisame roared in laughter. "You have some nerve to ask me that kind of question. Why should I let you borrow my sword when you could destroy it or do something to it right before my match with little Zabuza? Neh?"

The Ōgakari smirked. "Are you joking? Zabuza's been itching to take you down since he found out you were here. He would kill me if he thought that I actually sabotaged you." He shrugged. "Besides, the upgrade I made to Kubikiri Hōchō should be sufficient enough to allow him to take you down anyways…"

Many people frowned at that statement. "That was him?" Chōjurō whispered in surprise.

"Didn't expect that…" Suigetsu grunted.

"Idiot…" Darui moaned.

"Oh?" Kisame grinned with hungry calculating eyes. "So you're the one who played with it? … I have to say… I am somewhat impressed. Zabuza actually looks like he could be a challenge now…" He grabbed Samehada's hilt and swiftly tossed the weapon to the green haired man. "Let's see if you're telling the truth…"

Zabuza's eyes widened considerably. ' _Kisame actually let him hold Samehada? ...Either he really expects the sword to shred his hands… or he is just as curious as the rest of us about this guy's boast…'_

Scabbard caught the weapon with one hand and with unexpected strength started to swing it around experimentally. "Interesting weight and distribution… the pommel is surprisingly heavy and dense, despite its small size…"

Shink.

Small metallic barbs shot out of the wrapping of the blade, surprising many who did not know of the sword's abilities… but not a single one was made to harm the current holder. "Excellent reaction to intent of the holder…" He momentarily frowned. "Samehada, I would appreciate it if you did not attempt to eat my chakra…" There was a brief pause. "… Thank you."

"Ehhhh… so he wasn't bluffing…" Kisame mused curiously as the man continued to slowly test the weapon out. "I thought he was simply overconfident…" He glanced at Zabuza. "I don't know where you found this guy, but he certainly has my full interest now…" ' _He must have a decent amount of chakra…'_ Kisame mused. ' _Samehada is already listening to his requests…'_

Kurotetsu, however, was not amused as he stomped forward. "You idiot. Talking to that sword and treating it carefully like that. Give it to me and let me show you how to use a sword like this…" Without even waiting for the shorter man to respond, Kurotetsu slammed his fist on a pressure point of Scabbard's arm, causing him to drop the weapon, only to be caught by the greedy man… and dropped again as spikes shot out of the handle, scratching the man's hands. "Gah! What the hell?"

Many could have sworn that the weapon was growling softly at the man as it fell to the ground.

"Told you…" The Ōgakari snorted as the picked the greatsword up again and walked to Kisame, not once getting cut by the barbs on the weapon. "Thank you for allowing me to examine Samehada. It is truly an impressive weapon…" He handed it to the blue man, who grabbed the handle and hoisted the weapon onto his shoulder.

"Heh… you may be an enemy, shorty… but at least you know to hold your tongue, unlike a lot of these prideful idiots here… or that moronic beast man in Konoha." The blue man grinned. "I might not even kill you if we fight in the finals…"

Zabuza mentally groaned. ' _Is he actually trying to become rivals or friends with Kisame of all people? Please tell me he isn't…'_

"You will have to beat Zabuza first…" Smirked Scabbard.

Kisame grinned. "You make it sound like I'm more likely to lose."

The Ōgakari turned around and walked back to the gaping Konoha ninja. "You'll see."

Before the Konoha ninja could chew their comrade out for being such a suicidal bastard, Mifune had appeared in front of the room's main entrance. "The first event is about to begin. Will the junior entrants please follow me…" The man paused and looked at the fuming Kurotetsu. "Kurotetsu, is something the matter?"

The egotistical man growled as he glared at the smirking Kisame and Scabbard, both daring him with their eyes to actually say what happened. "Nothing… just cut my hands by accident recently…" He hissed. "Do you happen to have any medics around to patch them up soon?"

Mifune blinked and looked at the other fighters before nodding. "Of course. I will send them down to attend to you as soon as I am done with the introduction ceremony. Now, if all the junior division finalists would please…" The man turned around and walked out, followed by the young teens… and after a large gap, the seniors also followed to get a better view of the fights.

"I will enjoy humiliating you both today…" Muttered Kurotetsu as he trailed behind the rest of the group…

o. o. o.

In the audience…

Itachi sat quietly in the stands as he watched the junior division line up in the middle of the fighting floor. The grounds were enclosed in a massive building in order to keep heat inside lest the spectators freeze to death. It was rumored that the structure itself was one of many caves that served as the foundation for Iron's capital city, and even to Itachi's degrading eyes, it was an impressive sight. The arena held a large number of people, at least as many as Konoha's arena, beginning 20 feet above the fighting ground in order to protect the gamblers from getting hit by most stray techniques. Itachi sat a few rows behind the front rows and to the slight right side, an area that is frequently passed over by most. Hidan and Kakuzu took to the back, but that was because they both didn't like being in the middle of a crowd and because they would most likely draw too much attention the moment one of them began to talk… and since Hidan needed a babysitter at all times in this kind of situation, Itachi was alone to enjoy the events with a stick of pocky in his mouth, hidden by his coat.

The man did not flinch or make any moves as he saw his brother walk onto the grounds. His eyes had yet to degrade to the point where he would be unable to see his brother now… however, he would admit that seeing all the details of the oncoming fights may be just beyond him…

Originally, Kisame didn't really feel the need to come to Iron for the events, even after Zabuza was rumored to be there as well. The shark man claimed, quite logically, that he would come across the man again due to their jinchūriki hunting and as such didn't need to rush things. Itachi however, wanted to know more about the people who seemed to be pulling Konoha's strings now, and as such over the course of several weeks put very, VERY subtle illusions into his partner's dreams as he slept until the blue man was finally convinced to give the event a shot. Itachi honestly did feel bad about manipulating his friend in such a manner. Kisame was in fact, when he wasn't in a blood hungry mood, a very reasonable person and a great conversationalist… albeit a bit sadistic. He was in fact Itachi's only friend for the past 5 years… but even so, there was just something Itachi needed to know…

As for how to create an opening for the Kumo and Konoha shinobi to escape after the events… well, he had some ideas in mind…

So when Sasuke's name exited Kisame's lips, Itachi's resolve on coming hardened even more. He would see how much his brother had truly grown up, judge how strong he would become from there, and make according decisions…

"Excuse me…" An adult female's voice interrupted the Uchiha from his plotting. "Is this seat taken?"

Itachi noted that the spot next to him was indeed bare. Normally he would have preferred for people not to be near him, but the additional company would help hide his presence more. There was no attempt at seduction in the question like most kunoichi would do when talking to a target. In fact… if anything, it was more like childish impatience. Clearly not something in the usual shinobi guidebook… so either it was an expert assassin… or a completely carefree individual. Turning to the speaker, the Uchiha made eye contact to activate a small convenient illusion that would erase the memory of him for the opponent's mind as soon as they parted ways… only to freeze any thoughts he had. The only indication that the man was surprised was the small snapping of the pocky in his mouth…

o. o. o.

Back in the arena:

Sasuke was constantly scanning the audience with his eyes active. ' _Where are you…'_

"And without further delay, I would like to start off the first match!" Mifune announced to the cheering crowd. "I will ask all the contestants other than Suigetsu of Kirigakure and Atsui of Kumogakure please leave the grounds!"

"Oh man, am I heated up for this!" Atsui grinned happily with his hand already at his hip where his standard Kumo-style sword was strapped.

"Hey, I wasn't paying attention to the rules… am I going to be disqualified if I kill this idiot?" Suigetsu asked curiously to the samurai who was judging the match.

"You will fight until one of you is unable to fight, is killed, or until I call the match." The judge responded. "You will be disqualified if you continue to fight after I have announced my call. Killing is allowed, but it is highly looked down upon and may affect your prize…"

"Works for me." Suigetsu shrugged as he took out his broadsword. "Honestly, I'll consider it a win if I can just shut this guy up…" He turned to Kisame and Zabuza who were standing in the fighter's box. "Oi Zabuza-senpai! Kisame-senpai! Please watch me fight and give me pointers afterwards!"

Kisame chuckled. "He's a lot like Mangetsu when he first started, isn't he?"

"We'll see how much from this fight, Kisame…" The masked man grunted.

Tenten looked nervously at the two men before looking at Scabbard. "How can those two be so calm talking to each other when they want to kill the other so much?"

The Ōgakari looked at the girl momentarily. "Simple. They know they're going to fight soon. They know that they hate each other. However, they have been through so many violent situations that they are simply used to controlling their emotions and see the stupidity in getting angry at every small thing. Cynicism. Apathy. While normally dark words, they are also associated with people who can see the world at face value and don't attach any extra meanings to things. If you last long enough in this profession, you'll frequently see experienced shinobi who are enemies small talking and such while fighting each other to the death. Hate or not, when you get to such a level, the only things that truly separates you from others on your level are distinctly different viewpoints on life or extreme narcissism, and even then, it sometimes isn't enough. The strong respect the strong just because we all know how much shit we all had to go through in order to become that powerful… even if sometimes, the opponent is a tremendous asshole… that's just the way things work."

The roar of the crowd and a small explosion drew their attention again as the fight between the two ninja started.

"We're both on fire, baby!" Atsui grinned as his flaming sword managed to set a fairly impressive amount of the fighting area aflame with a few swings. "… Except I got the good kind and you got the dead kind…"

"Will you _shut up already_?!" A voice yelled just before Suigetsu's body shot out from the flames and almost cut the Kumo boy in half with a helm breaking slash as the boy jumped away.

"What?" Atsui blinked as he looked at Suigetsu's steaming body. "How are you not burnt?"

"If you can actually fight well, you might find out!" The shark toothed boy roared as he slashed at Atsui again, causing the boy to dodge. Swordsman or not, a katana was simply not meant to literally match blades with another sword, especially a broadsword.

"Damn it!" The fire boy yelled as he unleashed another flaming slash, only for Suigetsu to use his sword as a pseudo-shield and run right through it before going on the attack again.

"There's something off about his body…" Sasuke frowned as his eyes tried to see what Suigetsu's trick was.

Zabuza snorted. "Off is putting it lightly. I know that kid's family, so I know exactly what is going on…"

Tenten looked at the big man. "So… what is he doing then?"

The demon smirked as Suigetsu emerged from another cluster of fire unchanged other from a small amount of steam coming from his body. "I'll leave that a surprise. You can't know of all your opponent's abilities before you fight them, after all…"

"Atsui's getting his ass handed to him…" Karui shook her head disappointed. "It's not even close. If he's going to lose badly, he could at least get knocked out so we don't have to listen to him for a while…" Bang! She watched as her teammate attempted to block a strong hit from the other boy and get thrown into the side of the structure and collapsed on the ground. "Huh…" She mused as the samurai judge called the match. "That was convenient…"

"What a shame…" Bee shook his head. "His match was so lame…"

"Oi you aren't going to actually say that to him when he wakes up are you?" Darui asked nervously.

"The Bee's words do not come from a kissing booth! All the Bee speaks of is the truth! Ya foo!" Bee ranted.

"Samui's going to be so hard to get along with when we get back home…" Karui wept as she hit her head against a wall.

"Man…" Suigetsu moaned as he walked back, still steaming and drinking from a water bottle. "Those fire attacks were annoying. They made my water all warm even after I put all that ice in there to make sure they stayed cool… no one likes drinking warm water if they can help it…" He paused as he saw the Kumo ninja. "Uh, hey, don't worry about the idiot. He's just knocked out and everything. I'm certain his sword didn't break when he blocked that last attack…"

"You didn't kill or do any permanent damage to him." Darui stated with a bored look. "You're good with us for now…"

"Just checking…" The white haired boy shrugged before turning to Chōjurō. "Oi pussy! Did I luck out with that guy or what? I'm pretty sure that even you could have beaten him easily…"

"We can still hear you, asshole!" Karui roared.

"Will Sasuke Uchiha of Konoha and Daisuke Himura of Tetsu (Iron) please get into position?" The judge ordered to the box, prompting Sasuke and Daisuke, who had been quietly sitting against the wall away from the other competitors, to walk forward.

"Anyone see what this kid can do?" Zabuza asked curiously.

"They all look the same to me." Tenten laughed nervously.

"I believe he is rather adept at quick drawing techniques and is rather agile…" Scabbard mused as he filtered through his memories. "He has fast swings as well… I am curious if Sasuke is able to keep up with him…"

"… Good luck…" Sasuke said out loud without breaking eye contact with his opponent, his eyes off in order to test his current skill and save stamina.

"Just don't cheat, ninja… I know how your kind works…" The muffled voice of his opponent grunted as he took a drawing stance and getting a deeper frown from his opponent.

"Fight!" The judge yelled… and a fraction of a second later, Sasuke had to jump back in order to prevent himself from getting slashed in half.

 _'Fast!'_ The Uchiha swung his sword out in time to block a second strike to his chest, deflecting the blade to his right side before dodging more attacks within the span of a few seconds.

Zabuza whistled. "That armor is definitely misleading… kid's definitely got speed down… his strikes are clean too…"

"That boy's been studying Mifune-dono's techniques for a while… it's only expected that he be that fast." The samurai Aoshi Watanabe stepped forward without taking his eyes off of the fight. "His father and brother were killed by some ninja when he was young and it spurred him to become a samurai that specializes in taking out ninja, though he was already hailed as a prodigy even before then. You guys may have your tricks, but against a style where each swing is designed to kill quickly… well, I don't put my hopes on your friend there coming back from his fight in one piece…"

"He's using Mifune-dono's technique, huh?" Scabbard mused as he continued to watch Sasuke get pushed back and on the defensive. He was already sporting several scratches on his limbs and vest. "I do admit that your colleague there has incredible skill for his age… however…"

Zabuza smirked. "If that kid of yours only has bit of speed and some power on his side… then there's no way that he'll be able to take our brat down…" He noted Sasuke's eyes turning red. "Not after the hell we've put him through…"

As if on cue, Sasuke wove through his opponent's strikes with calculated ease before managing to leave a decent cut on his opponent's side and jumping away to get out of range and get some space between them. The audience in particular seemed to love this change in pace, though there were a noticeable amount of boo's and jeering towards Sasuke…

"The Sharingan…" Grunted the young samurai. "Another annoying ninja trick. I should have known that you would not be able to beat me without some sort of crutch…"

Sasuke sighed. "Complain all you want… if you were truly better than me, you would have been able to move fast enough that I would not have been able to react to your attacks regardless. The fact that I can merely means that you are still within my skill range…" He smirked. "To be honest, I know of a couple of ninja our age that I cannot physically keep up with… so that means that you're outclassed by them, too…"

"Cocky little bastard!" The samurai charged forward, clearly losing his cool and channeling his own chakra into his weapon. "I'll show you slow!"

"Try me…" The Uchiha grunted as his weapon instantly sparked with electricity and he ran forward to meet his opponent, though in a clearly calmer manner.

The two clashed blades for a second, releasing a moderately sized shockwave from their opposing chakra, two seconds at the most before the weapons deflected and the two danced around one another. The samurai attacked far more frequently, but very few attacks seemed to hit as the Uchiha seemed to dodge almost all of them and deflected the ones he couldn't. When an opening presented itself, Sasuke would nick his opponent with the charged sword, shocking the boy before dodging again. The pattern repeated constantly and it soon became apparent that the Uchiha was slowly gaining a larger advantage over the tiring samurai.

In retrospect, Sasuke mused that it probably would have been somewhat better for him if he used fire chakra instead of lightning in order to do more lasting damage to his opponent, but at the time, he didn't want to let his future opponents know of his second element if he could help it. Plus, the samurai's armor made it more difficult for fire based damage to get through.

"Wow…" Kauri laughed nervously. "They're good… they're really good…" She looked around. "Any chance that they will knock each other out?"

"So fast…" Chōjurō shivered. "I can barely keep up with them…"

Suigetsu winced as Sasuke managed to slice his opponent again. "Ouch. That doesn't look like it feels good…"

 _'He still needs work… however, his skill is significantly greater than where he was last time at this age…'_ Itachi mused, still keeping his guard up around the woman sitting next to him. ' _His progress is… satisfactory…'_

"Enough!" The samurai shouted as a swing laced with plenty of chakra caught Sasuke off guard and despite his defending, launched him back a fair distance. "I have had enough of your games, ninja. This event was designed for us samurai. I will not allow a ninja to corrupt our home any more than you already have…" The boy sheathed his weapon again and took a crouching stance. "I will end this now…"

 _'He's gathering up a load of chakra into that sword…'_ Sasuke grimaced as his eyes saw what his opponent was preparing and in response gripped his weapon with both hands as well. ' _I can't hold back against a technique like this…'_

"That… it can't be… Muken (False sword)…" Aoshi gaped. "But to be able to do it so young…" He turned to Scabbard. "Withdraw your student. Otherwise, he won't be alive long enough to see who has won."

"Judging by the technique's name, I am assuming that the technique involves running and drawing the chakra infused blade so quickly and expertly that it unleashes a near unbeatable or seeable chakra slash that can cut through virtually any defense, making the illusion that there wasn't a blade in the first place… right?" Scabbard yawned, clearly having heard of similar techniques before.

"Of course that's it. Mifune-dono perfected that technique to the point that he barely needs chakra to use it in the first place!" Aoshi hissed. "If you care for your student at all, you will withdraw him immediately!"

Scabbard didn't turn his attention away from the fight. "… Hmm… Zabuza?"

The large man snorted as Sasuke's sword began to take on an additional red tinge and hum dangerously. "What do you think?"

"I thought as much…" The green man looked momentarily at the samurai. "I appreciate your concern..."

He was interrupted as Sasuke and Daisuke blurred from view with their blades etching out the air between them and their sharp sounds to match… and they reappeared almost exactly where the other had been standing just moments before, both breathing heavily.

Zabuza chuckled. "I gotta admit… those two moved fast enough that I missed who won…"

Scabbard rolled his eyes. "Isn't it obvious?" Daisuke collapsed to his knees as a large burnt slash in his side was made known, much to the shock of the samurai there. "Sasuke's Sharingan helps him deal with tracking things at high speeds, and he's been constantly training on that aspect of combat ever since he learned _that_ technique from Kakashi. The problem with quick draw techniques is that they aren't drawn out and they are difficult to use on opponents who are attacking just as fast as you are." He shook his head. "I've seen Kakashi force Sasuke to run almost a mile at these speeds while throwing shit in his way in order to get the boy used to this kind of fighting and tracking obstacles. Samurai boy didn't even have a chance."

o. o. o.

Naruto sniggered as he watched the fight from his perch on the ceiling of the cave. "Way to kick ass, teme."

o. o. o.

Itachi nodded very slightly in approval. His brother's adaptation to the clan's eyes has certainly enabled him to be a very promising fighter, and his use of fire and lightning chakra to his sword is also equally impressive…

"Oh? Is that a smile I see?" Sniggered the woman next to him, killing his good mood instantly. "And they said that you were an emotionless boring clone…"

o. o. o.

"Nice job." Zabuza commented as he patted Sasuke on the back.

"He almost had me…" The Uchiha let out a long breath. "His speed was halfway between Lee without weights and Lee when he opened his gates. It was ridiculous. If I wasn't familiar with people moving that fast to begin with, I'm certain my head would have been cut off…"

"Glad you fought him instead of me, then…" Tenten laughed nervously. "I'm used to keeping up to people being that fast, but even I have my limits."

"Just make it to the finals." Sasuke smirked. "I'd be insulted if you didn't."

The girl crossed her arms. "Well… who am I to deny a request?"

"Finally, it's my turn…" Karui sighed as she glanced at her very jittery opponent. "Honestly… why does a kid like him have one of the 7 Swordsmen's weapons?"

"You see that, Chōjurō?" Suigetsu moaned. "You're such a pussy that even with Hiramekarei you still look like a wimp to others. We really have to work on that or Kiri's gonna end up the laughing stock of the 5 villages!" He suddenly grinned evilly and leaned over to the boy. "And if that happens, you'll lose your shot at ever impressing Mizukage-sama…"

"I wouldn't underestimate that kid, Karui…" Darui mused as the blue haired boy's eyes were suddenly blocked by light reflecting off of his glasses. "There's a reason why he has that sword after all…"

"Yeah, yeah…" The red headed girl sighed as she walked outside, ignoring Daisuke being taken to the medical bay by several men in doctor's clothing.

"Your thoughts on this fight?" Scabbard asked to his ally as the blue haired boy passed them silently.

Zabuza closed his eyes and pondered the match as the teens got into position. "… It's close…" He simply stated.

"Fight!" The judge shouted and backed away as both teens charged at one another.

Karui smirked as she was about to slash at her slower opponent… when she saw the bandages around her opponent's sword unravel and the massive… thing exploded with chakra and took the shape of a massive hammer. "The fuck?" She shouted in surprise as she barely managed to jump away from being smashed into the ground. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I do not wish to sully Mizukage-sama's name by doing poorly in this event…" Chōjurō said in a calm tone as he readied his weapon again. "I will not hold back against you if you decide to continue to fight… I hope you will surrender without risking your life in a poorly matched fight against me…"

Suigetsu smirked. "Oh man… how long has it been since Chōjurō's actually gotten himself into gear? I almost forgot that he's actually good at fighting…"

"He's stronger than he looks…" Sasuke frowned as he glared at the boy and the massive dent in the ground he had made, before smirking and glancing at Tenten whose eyes never left the massive weapon. "However, he's already made a mistake…"

"6 of 7." Scabbard chuckled.

"The hell I'm gonna back down now!" Karui roared as she ran forward and her sword firmly in her grip.

"I tried to warn you…" The boy sighed before grabbing both handles of the sword he was using and swinging the weapon in a powerful upward cross swing.

Karui expected the reaction and dodged to the boy's lower side, into his blind spot. "Got you!" She yelled as she swung her sword… only to grimace as the boy's massive chakra laced weapon blocked her attack. "What?" She grimaced as she backed away.

"He rotated the weapon in his hands immediately after he swung upwards in order to block the attack to his side…" Darui mused. "The huge width of that thing ensures that it can be a pretty strong shield if needed, chakra or not…"

"Your brother was a monster using that sword, kid…" Zabuza commented to Suigetsu, who was shocked to be finally spoken to by one of his seniors. "He knew how to use all of the swords, but he was by far the best with Hiramekarei…"

"That didn't stop me for killing him…" Kurotetsu grunted with a sadistic smirk. "Despite being made out of water, those twin lightning blades of Kiri did a remarkable job holding him down long enough for me to finish him…"

"Bastard…" Suigetsu growled, reaching slowly reached for his broadsword before another explosion drew their attention again.

"Blue boy looks like he's on a pill… Karui's got no chance to chill…" Bee commented as he saw his student escape from being smashed again.

"She has a chance if she can manage her timing right…" Darui added. "Look. The kid is breathing pretty heavily despite being on the offensive. Swinging that massive thing and pumping so much chakra into it must take a lot of stamina out of him."

Karui, unfortunately, only noticed that her opponent was slightly slowing down and decided to try and end the fight now by weaving quickly around the boy. "Got you…" She frowned before she was once again blocked by the flat side of her opponent's glowing blade…

"Game…" Suigetsu sighed as he saw the holes in the weapon begin to glow with even more chakra. "Honestly, you think that Chōjurō doesn't know about that weakness of his?"

"He's going to shoot a wave of chakra from those holes to finish her off…" Tenten stated, getting the attention of the other fighters there before a loud explosion and a scream caught their attention. The faster ones managed to just catch the dark skinned girl flying across the field and crash into a wall much like her partner did before.

 _'How did that girl know what was going to happen?'_ Suigetsu frowned as he looked at Tenten.

The cloud of dust cleared to see Karui face down on the ground, but still breathing.

"Winner! Chōjurō of Kiri!" Shouted the judge, getting many cheers and claps from the audience as the blue haired boy collapsed.

"I won…" He sighed in relief. "… I hope I can keep this up…"

"Humph. Darui. It's up to us to show the world that Kumo is the boss…" Bee grumbled as Karui was taken to the medical bay. "I'll show how I'll the skills of the Kumo sword styles. Represent…"

"Word." Scabbard added in, if only to prompt Bee to continue acting like an idiot and embarrass himself even more.

Darui was so preoccupied with his mental anguish that neither he nor Bee noticed Chōjurō slip past them to get to Suigetsu.

"'Bout time you dropped your balls." Suigetsu laughed, causing the boy to weep and wonder if he should have just tried to be alone for a while…

"It's my turn…" Tenten breathed out slowly and glanced at Scabbard, who simply nodded to her as a sign of confidence. "Well…" She glanced at her opponent who had already made his way to the center of the fighting area. "… Let's see if I can get more than one win out of this tournament…"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shoved the girl. "Please. You'll win hands down against that 7 Swordsmen kid. Now stop hesitating already. You're making me look bad."

Tenten sniggered as she shifted Zangetsu on her back. "Me? Make the almighty Uchiha look bad? Naruto must be rubbing off on me."

"He rubs off on everyone…" The Uchiha growled. "It's like he's constantly shedding personality disorders unconsciously…"

"Makes you wonder what you have." Zabuza snickered, getting a glare from the boy.

"This is gonna be easy…" Laughed Yoshi as he drew out two sizeable katana. "Don't even think about trying to flirt with me, girl. I have a girlfriend and you don't really look like you're packing anything under that shirt of yours anyway…"

Suigetsu crossed his arms and frowned in confusion as he saw Tenten's twitching eyebrow and shadowed eyes. "Hm… I know I've seen that look somewhere before… but where?" He didn't pay attention as Chōjurō scurried to pick up one of his secret pictures of the Mizukage that had slipped out of his pockets. "…Where have I seen that look of barely hidden female rage?"

"Uh oh…" Neji whispered as he read the older teen's lips from his guarding post with his eyes active.

"What is it?" Hinata asked curiously.

"Tenten's opponent made fun of her… assets…" Neji grimaced, causing Kin and Lee to wince.

"Oh, that's not good…" Kin shook her head.

"This fight won't be very youthful…" Lee wept.

"I take it that making fun of her small size is taboo?" Ino asked curiously.

"Let's put it this way." Kin shivered as the two fighters got into position. "We went on an escorting mission shortly after I was put on the team and one of the standard body guards tried to cop a feel on her… She was keeping her temper really well… when the idiot mentioned that he might as well have been trying to feel up a boy." She shook her head. "Next thing anyone of us knew, the guy looked like he had been used for her's, Ino's and Anko's kunai target practice… for over a week…"

The rest of the Konoha ninja there gulped loudly before slowly turning their attention to the begging of the massacre… or fight, if they wanted to be polite…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Blarg work! Blarg California! Blarg!

Ugh. I'm so damn tired you guys have no idea. So I'm back on the east coast now and there's just so much crap going on that I really don't want to cover it all, so I'll stay to the main few topics.

First of all. Japan's earthquake. Yikes. My heart and condolences go to everyone who was affected by that monster, both in and out of Japan. People are going to be hurting for years if not for the rest of their lives from that mess. I don't have a lot of money or free time on me, but for any readers that do please donate blood or food or anything you reasonably can to help out. I saw some videos of the flood and I can honestly say that the sight absolutely terrified me. Fucking houses that looked like they were stuck to the ground got washed away like nothing.

I really hope that Kishi gets to showing more of Hiramekarei soon, otherwise I'll have to make more stuff up for it, and I really don't want to do that.

On a brighter note, I saw that my tv tropes page is now freaking huge… and I actually have two of them! One for the story, and the other for the apparently hilarious crap I put in it. That being said, I want to ask for a few new people to clean them both up if they can find the time. Some of the descriptions and definitions are a bit sloppy in context and vague… and there are a few completely wrong descriptions every once in a while. To all the guys who have edited it before, (and I do know who the main ones are), please read what you put down before you stick it in to make sure it isn't just opinionated vague descriptions. Read other pages to get an idea. Nice, crisp and to the point.

Anyways. Sorry for the late posting. Homework, Projects, Job searching and Pokémon White took up a lot of my time. Heheh. I'll try to get the next one up sooner.

So review! Worship the Log! Pick the Fire Pig! And Review again!


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 63: Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to be one of the characters in the awesome stories I read… then I shake my head and dismiss the idea… because odds are likely I would probably be one of one of the nameless mooks that the main character killed in some way to get to the introductory first main bad guy… my luck is like that.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

A/N: Strap yourselves in boys and girls, because this chapter just reached a whole new level of epic for everyone.

o. o. o.

Iron:

Despite the fact that for the most part shinobi and kunoichi are treated relatively the same in most shinobi forces, sexism… or, to be more accurate, stereotyping is still rather frequent. For example, a good majority of female ninja, while still considerably stronger than the average civilian male, prefer to fight utilizing ranged ninjutsu or genjutsu rather than resort to close combat. This is mainly due to the fact that females in general have lower chakra reserves than males do, and obviously their average smaller stature makes it so that they do less physical damage in a standard taijutsu battle. There are, of course, exceptions; Tsunade of the Sannin being the poster girl example with her absurd strength and prowess. However, there are still the occasional female taijutsu and kenjutsu specialists who have unique styles, and of course the occasional women who are simply bigger than most men. For the most part though, the odds of encountering females who fell into those fighting categories are rather small either way.

Of course, in a real shinobi fight, regardless of the appearance of the female, there is also the intelligence of the one doing the stereotyping that needs to be considered…

The moment the fight had begun, both Tenten and Yoshi had charged forward with their weapons drawn and ready to clash. For a moment Yoshi had assumed that he would manage to overpower his younger and smaller opponent easily, despite the fact that her sword was much larger than the two katana he had drawn. Unknown to many, the teen had studied some ninjutsu in addition to his samurai training and had learned enough to stream earth chakra into his weapons, making them strong enough to take incredible blows without getting damaged, which was one of the main flaws in using that kind of sword in the first place.

However, just as he was about to swing at his angered opponent, the elder teen noticed that the girl's large sword was glowing dangerously on its large blade… too dangerously. Making a last minute decision, the samurai dodged to his side just in time to avoid the massive chakra shockwave that would have completely annihilated him had he stayed where he was. Putting more room between the two, Yoshi managed to glimpse out of the corner of his eye the blue slash continue tearing up the ground and crashing into the arena wall, leaving a huge gouge visible even before the dust settle. "The hell…" He frowned as he eyed his opponent more carefully now. "That's stronger than most of the experienced samurai's chakra slashes… it must have been the sword…" He readied his weapons again. "Shit… this is going to be harder than I thought…"

"Hey…" The sword wielding girl growled as she took a stance again. "What's the matter, dumbass? Flat chest got your tongue?"

The samurai took another stance, this time one meant for more evasion. "Feh. Yeah right. Why should I be scared of some brat who is only as strong as the weapon she's using?"

The girl's eyebrow twitched before calming down. "That would have been more insulting if it weren't coming from a guy trying to intimidate someone almost half his size…" She mumbled before launching herself at her opponent again.

Yoshi, noting that the monstrous weapon wasn't glowing this time, felt more comfortable actually clashing blades with the girl, and as such swung back with one of his reinforced katana while attempting to counter with the other. Unfortunately, since he was expecting the sword to glow brightly like before, he did not see the faint blue that encompassed the entire weapon this time. So, instead of blocking and countering like he had been planning, the boy had to once again barely dodge out of the way of the deceptively maneuverable weapon as it wove through his stance and threatened to slash him from shoulder to hip. He didn't take any major damage, but the sword did manage to cut through a good portion of his armor with alarming ease. Unfortunately for the teen, Tenten didn't allow him time to recuperate as she charged after him, determined to end the fight.

 _'The hell?'_ Yoshi mentally yelled as he barely managed to parry another strike and attempt to counter, only to be blocked by another part of the large blade. ' _Her skill is ridiculous! She's weaving through my stances and when I try to counter, she uses her small size and huge sword to block!'_ He grimaced as he managed to defend against a helm splitting strike with both his swords and noticed the faint blue glow of the weapon before uncrossing the weapons and putting some distance between the two. ' _Water chakra? So that's how she's using it so easily… but still there's some trouble here… fighting her from afar is going to kill me, and I need to get some kind of advantage if I want to fight her up close… if I can just hold that massive sword of hers down for only a few seconds… let's try this…'_ Before Tenten had any time to realize what was happening, Yoshi had swung his two swords very hard, unleashing two fairly large chakra shockwaves at the girl.

"Damn…" Tenten grunted as she wove herself through the attacks, not wanting to waste any more chakra than she had to… and barely managed to block an attack to the side from Yoshi, who had used his previous maneuver as a cover to get closer and get in the first hit. The elder teen's strength was apparent as he managed to hold the girl down with only one sword while he used the other to prepare for the final strike.

"Heh…" Yoshi snorted. "With your sword down… you can't maneuver, and you can't use that freakishly huge chakra slash…" He was about to swing his other sword to cut Tenten from the side…

The brown haired girl smirked suddenly and the blade of her sword began to glow dangerously again. "Is that so?"

"SHIT!" The larger boy yelled just before the area around the two exploded violently, much to the spectator's surprise. Less than two seconds later, Tenten had jumped backwards out of the cloud with her sword. Other than a small scratch over the lower part of her stomach, she looked relatively unharmed.

"She managed to unleash such a strong wave without swinging her weapon? The scale of the attack she had performed when the fight began was already a feat to be noted… but this…" Aoshi muttered to himself with a raised eyebrow. "I did not believe that was possible… where did she get such a unique weapon?"

Scabbard smirked. "Sorry. It's a secret."

"Girlie cut it close though…" Zabuza sighed as he looked at Tenten's injured stomach. "Any later and she probably would have had to be carted to the medic bay too…"

"You bitch!" Roared a voice from inside the cloud, catching everyone's attention again as Yoshi rushed out of the cloud, half his armor completely totaled and barely hanging onto his bleeding body, and swung wildly at the girl who was clearly caught off guard enough that her weapon was sent flying out of her hands and she was knocked a fair distance away.

The crowd, clearly loving the action, was ecstatic at the turn of events.

"Proctor. The bitch is disarmed." Yoshi grunted as Tenten picked herself up, slightly winded and bruised from that last hit. "She can't fight anymore. Call the…"

"I can still fight according to the rules." Tenten frowned as she glanced to where Zangetsu was. There was no way she would be able to make it back to the weapon before Yoshi did. "That wasn't the only sword I had…"

The judge nodded at the girl's statement. "The match will continue…"

Before the samurai finished his sentence, Tenten had bolted towards her opponent again, who had just finished ripping off his loose armor, revealing a very muscular body. Twisting her body in a way to make it look like she was reaching for something behind her back that needed two hands, the girl focused on the image in her mind. It would be annoying if she used something that everyone had seen already… so she went for a weapon design that she was sure no one had seen yet. Material composition… processing… experience acquired through years… the hammer in her mind was raised steadily over the anvil…

"Stupid kid…" Yoshi growled dangerously as he prepared to swing at the girl from both sides, a maneuver that would prevent her from blocking with a single weapon. "You should have given up when you lost your ace…"

CLANG!

"I never give up, it's impossible for me to lose my ace…" The girl's brown eyes glared back at her stunned opponent's. "… And so long as I live I will NEVER be unarmed… Dance of the Camilla…"

Everyone watching other than those who had trained with the girl for the past two months gaped in surprise as Yoshi's cross attack was blocked on both sides… each sword stopped by a long white bone shaped into a kodachi. The swords, impressive and intimidating as they were, were still not enough to block the powerful strikes of the older boy, but the squeezing force they exerted on the younger girl was sufficient enough for her to use it to her advantage as she deflected both blades downward and herself up. Yoshi would have said something, but his thoughts were interrupted as Tenten back flipped between the outstretched weapons and kicked him under his chin.

The two separated momentarily, but Tenten would not allow her opponent any time to recover, as she rushed forward as soon as she landed and attacked the boy in a completely different style than the one she had been using with her larger sword before. With her lighter swords, the girl danced around and slashed her stunned opponent with incredible ease, instantly dodging and countering his desperate attempts to fight back. It was a completely different fight; while before, Yoshi had managed to put some space between himself and his opponent, now he was completely ineffectual against the smaller and relentless girl. The elder boy's thrashing was ended after what seemed like an eternity to him after Tenten executed a debilitating maneuver, assaulting his legs and stopped standing over him with one of the sharp bones at the base of his neck.

"I win." The girl breathed out heavily with steady eyes and glanced at the proctor, who nodded after several seconds.

"Winner! Tenten of Konoha!" The man shouted, prompting the audience to erupt with the expected applause and boo's.

"Holy crap…" Suigetsu gaped. "That chick just switched styles like it was nothing… and kicked ass…" He patted Chōjurō on his back sympathetically. "Nice knowing you, buddy…"

"Those were… bones…" Neji frowned as he looked at his original male teammate. "Lee…"

"She moved just like… that person." The spandex taijutsu expert mused. "Her skill has certainly improved dramatically…"

"That person?" Kiba asked curiously as Tenten apparently put away her new weapons and went to pick up her original sword… "Who are you talking about?"

The two boys glanced at one another before shaking their heads. "We'll talk about it some other time." Neji answered. "Right now, we aren't really supposed to talk about it…"

Ino and Sai made mental notes to ask again about this mystery master bone user later as they watched Tenten slowly make her way back to the fighter's box.

"Not bad." Zabuza chuckled as the girl collapsed next to the wall and landed on the ground. "I'm fairly certain you could have beaten him without using your extra tools… but overall, not bad…"

"Oh shut up." The girl growled. "He was enforcing his swords with earth chakra…" She shakily lifted her arms. "I'm still trying to get the numbness out of my arms from blocking some of his blows. Besides, I beat him without using any verses…"

"There will be a 30 minute break." Announced the judge from the center of the arena. "This time will be used to help the remaining contestants recover from their previous battles. Please use this duration as you wish, either to relieve yourselves, get some more food, or place more bets for the upcoming fights…"

"Will the remaining contestants please come here so that we may heal some of your injuries?" Announced a woman from the other entrance of the fighting box, who was followed by 3 other women dressed in medical garb.

"Go." Scabbard nodded to Sasuke and Tenten. "I will repair your weapons so that they are in shape for your fights…"

Darui raised an eyebrow as he watched from a small distance away. ' _How's he going to repair both of those swords in less than half an hour? The nearest blacksmith is at least 10 minutes away… there's no time to do one in 10 minutes, let alone both…'_ Much to his surprise, however, both teens almost instantly gave the man their swords… though the girl never took out those bones she was using, before walking to the medics without any worry.

"Zabuza, help me set the curtains up." Scabbard ordered in a bored tone, snapping Darui out of his musings to see the short man appearing to set up a shower stall ring in the side of the arena, complete with soft pink music note curtains that surrounded the entire edge.

The assassin blinked before walking forward. "Seriously? I never took you to be a pink music guy…"

"I'm not." Scabbard stated. "These are Tayuya's bed sheets. The brat made the mistake of trying to insult me the night before we left. And before you say that stealing bed sheets isn't my style, I must inform you that the remaining spare sheets closest to her room are laced with very subtle seals that alternate her dreams between erotic wet dreams and nightmares involving being the only girl stuck in a comic book convention…"

The larger man stared at the man for a moment before shaking his head and helped out with the other end of the rings. "Honestly, I am having trouble telling if you or Shadow is the most evil member of your family…"

"It's less of a position and more of a constantly shifting responsibility, really…" The green haired man commented…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Kakashi sighed as he relaxed against a tree while doing another self-evaluation of his abilities. Ever since he had gotten his memories back, the son of the White Fang had frequently been training his body in order to go above and beyond the state it currently was and had been during the fight against Pain… or Nagato, according to Naruto. To be frank, he was somewhat disappointed in the shape he had been in before and the jutsu he had known in general. Compared to the average and even most advanced shinobi, he was in fact a force to be reckoned with. Obito's Sharingan combined with his experience and loads of various ninjutsu had ensured that he could handle enemies on that level fairly easily.

However, when it came to higher level foes… he found that his current array of tricks were frequently more liable to get him killed than not. Other than Raikiri and Kamui, the man didn't really have much in terms of game winning attacks that he was truly good with. True, he had decent ninjutsu of almost every element, fairly high speed and a sharp mind, but those didn't really come in handy when he was fighting Hidan and Kakuzu other than to stave off getting killed for a while.

In short, Kakashi realized that other than his range of ninjutsu and decent physical prowess… he was simply so spread out in his skills that they weren't enough to make a big impact in high level fights. Not fast enough. Not strong enough. Not high enough reserves. Not powerful enough illusions. Possibly smart enough, but being smart didn't protect you much from being stabbed or blown up every fraction of a second. All in all… he doubted that he could confidently go up against any member of Akatsuki and win without needing another person's aid or relying on Kamui to win…with the exception of possibly Hidan… and that was something that did not sit well with him at all. The man could do a hell of a lot better than being on par with a religious psycho, damn it!

The cyclops needed to up his game enough so that he could fight constantly on an absurd level if he wanted to make a bigger impact in future conflicts… which was why at the moment, he was taking a breather from nearly having his ass handed to him by the third Hokage.

"Your progress is rather impressive." Hiruzen chuckled as he took a few breaths himself. "You are much faster than you used to be… and I must admit, I am having some trouble keeping up with your seal making…"

"You are rating my abilities too highly, Hokage-sama…" Kakashi sighed. "Despite my attempts, I have yet to land any decent hits on you while you on the other hand have managed to pin me down on multiple occasions…"

The elder of the two laughed as Enma transformed back into his animal form. "Yes… well, while that may be true, you have managed to wind me considerably… and I do enjoy having a sparring partner who isn't overwhelmingly stronger then I am for a change…" He turned to his summon. "What do you think of Kakashi's display, Enma?"

The larger monkey crossed his arms and frowned in deep thought. "Your technique, timing, strategies, and range of skills are impressive, but other than that close ranged lightning technique of yours, you have no real overwhelming qualities for fighting on our level… and that aces you do have require you to be in close in the first place. If you are unable to catch your opponent off guard AND land a solid blow on your opponents, your threat level in particular is dramatically reduced." He opened his eyes. "At this point, it is really a matter of which path you want to take. You either need to increase your physical abilities so that you can use more ninjutsu on the battlefield, pose as a stronger threat in close range and last longer in battle, or you can focus more on your ninjutsu, practicing the techniques that you find most useful, natural, and powerful in the situation that you are confronted by another overwhelming technique. My recommendation is the first, as your library of techniques is rather large but your stamina is still not what you need it to be, plus your physical abilities will aid you in getting out of more tight situations…"

"Your logic does make sense…" Kakashi mused as he played through his previous fights against Akatsuki in his mind. Itachi and Kisame… Deidara… Hidan and Kakuzu… Pain… the final battle against the remnants of Akatsuki. Physically, he could keep up with all of them… but when it came to techniques… "However, I believe that I will focus more on my ninjutsu and attempt to increase my stamina in the process. My speed, strength and taijutsu are high enough that I can keep up with any member of the group… however, right now I need to increase the range of techniques I can freely perform in the middle of battle without overexerting myself." He laughed dryly. "If I wanted to physically overpower them, I'd have to be on the same level as Gai, gates and all. One is enough for this world. Besides…" He pointed to his covered eye. "I should have at least a few decent moves copied… all I really need to do now is truly master them."

Hiruzen nodded as he saw the logic in Kakashi's statement and chuckled. "Well then… if that's your final decision, by all means feel free to ask me for advice. After all…" The old monkey grinned rather confidently. "I am known throughout the world for mastering virtually all the techniques in Konoha… it would be interesting to see how you would actually compare to me in my prime."

o. o. o.

Iron:

Those who expected the wait for the next few fights to be boring were sorely disappointed, as an array of extremely odd noises came from the curtained off section of the wall that Scabbard Ōgakari had hid himself in five minutes after the waiting began. Sounds ranging from things blowing up to thunder strikes to jackhammers to maniacal laughter and women moaning in ecstasy were just some of the many things heard from the small area… though truth be told, the erotic genre noises came more frequently than the rest.

"Oi Zabuza… is this guy for real?" Kisame asked as he eyed the curtains, honestly drawing a blank at the moment. "What kind of stunt does he think he's pulling?"

The masked man shook his head. "Just… don't try to look, Kisame. That's what he's expecting you to do." He sighed. "You know how we like to butcher things? Well, this freak's family likes to make things awkward and screw with people's heads just as much…" He paused as the sound of a chainsaw revved behind him. "The sad thing is that that guy there is one of the more reasonable ones."

The blue man glanced at the curtains with a raised eyebrow. "Heh. Well, at least he's making things interesting…" He shook his head and walked away. "So long as he doesn't do anything to delay our fight, I could honestly care less about what he does."

"What the hell is that freak doing?" Kurotetsu grunted as he brushed past Kisame. "Tell him to get his ass out here and stop embarrassing us."

"What am I, one of your fangirls?" Zabuza deadpanned. "Do it yourself."

The Kiri and Kumo raised shinobi watched curiously as the angry missing-nin rushed forward and pulled open the curtains… only for the image of a blonde woman in pigtails covering her naked parts to turn in his direction from the other side and scream loudly, kick him in the balls, push him away, and close the curtains again… prompting everyone who was paying attention to blink and gape silently.

Three seconds later, the curtains opened again to show Scabbard, fully clothed, sitting in a chair with a book and giving Kurotetsu with a mild look of amusement. Next to him were Sasuke's and Tenten's swords… and a jukebox which was clearly the source of the noise that had been giving everyone listening awkward thoughts. "… You know… I was almost hoping you weren't stupid enough to open the curtains… but as I watch you crawling on the ground like this… I see that those feelings were obviously misplaced." Taking out his ear plugs and turning off the jukebox, the man picked himself up and slipped his book, the jukebox, and the foldable chair into his coat. He then picked up the weapons that were stabbed into the ground and walked to the fighter's box.

"Dare I ask how you pulled that stunt off?" Zabuza asked with an amused look. "That looked like one of the brat's transformed clones."

"Nude shower prank seal." Scabbard yawned as he took out a small square piece of paper with some squiggles on it. "You store one of the idiot's transformed clones in here, rig them to pop out whenever the curtains are opened, add a small genjutsu to keep yourself and everything else inside invisible for the moment of shock… and we have ourselves a new best seller…"

Sasuke, who had been waiting for Scab to walk out again along with Tenten, was twitching. "Honestly… did you have to find a way to make the dobe's most retarded technique earn you money?"

"Yes." The immortal casually responded as he handed the two teens back their weapons.

"I will kill him the next time I see him…" Tenten growled. "He gave himself a bigger bust than me…"

"You could always ask him to teach you how…" Zabuza attempted to suggest to the girl before he found Zangetsu's edge right under his jaw. "Suggestion retracted."

"So how much of that time in there was actually spent fixing our weapons?" Sasuke asked skeptically as he swung his sword with practiced ease.

Scabbard yawned and held up one finger getting many raised eyebrows.

"It only took you a minute to get the chips out of both weapons?" Darui asked impressed, only to get an irritated look and a shake of the head from the man.

"A minute? What kind of novice do you take me for?" Scabbard sighed as he leaned back against the wall. "I was done in under a second. The rest of my time there was simply spent waiting to see which unfortunate idiot would try to peek in there first."

"Be it lyrics or blades, this man be the forge for all kings! This guys must be gettin' laid, or by god I'd cut off my thing!" Bee rapped… only to be knocked out by Darui a moment later.

"That… was so bad that I seriously did have to knock him out for actually saying it…" The dark skinned blonde man stated, getting nods from many other people there.

"Thank you for your patience, ladies and gentlemen!" The proctor samurai announced to the crowd as people began to take their seats again. "We will now begin the semifinal fights of the junior division!"

"Better get back to the box…" Zabuza mused as he began to move before pausing to look at Kurotetsu still on the ground and turning to the medics. "Hey, can you guys help him back to the box? We'd do it… but we don't like him."

"Will Suigetsu of Kirigakure and Sasuke of Konohagakure please come to the center of the arena?" The judge called out, indicating that the next fight was scheduled to begin.

"I'm up…" Sasuke sighed as he walked forward at an aloof pace.

"Good luck, Suigetsu…" Chōjurō mumbled to his ally.

"Oh man… this is gonna be a pain of a fight…" The water specialist moaned as he hoisted his weapon onto his shoulder…

o. o. o.

In the audience:

"Your thoughts on the fight?" Sai asked his teammates as the pair took to their positions.

"Technique wise, Sasuke has the clear advantage." Neji stated with his eyes active. "… However, there is something odd about his opponent's body. I managed to see something happen to it when he was attacked by those fire techniques in his last battle…"

"The steam coming from his body afterwards was also laced slightly with his chakra." Hinata added in. "Sasuke is sharp enough to know that there is something odd about his body, too… which probably means he will either try to end the fight as soon as possible or if he can't, try to figure out what his opponent's ability is in the process…"

"How will he manage to do that?" Lee asked curiously.

"Most likely by using the same methods as the person who lost to Suigetsu did…" Sai mused. "He will use his fire chakra and see how his opponent dealt with it close up…"

o. o. o.

"FIGHT!" The samurai yelled and jumped back just as Suigetsu rushed past him with his sword drawn.

"Let's see how you deal with guys with bigger swords than you…" Grinned the shark toothed boy savagely as he swung his broadsword horizontally in an attempt to bisect the smaller boy… only to miss, as the Uchiha swiftly jumped back and then rushed forward in an attempt to counter. That attempt was short lived, as the Kiri-nin managed to pull back his sword rather quickly and parry the attack just in time… only to get a kick in the chest from the shorter boy. "Ah damn… he's pretty good…" He grunted as he massaged his chest.

"He's stronger than he looks…" Sasuke frowned as he recalled how his opponent drew back his large sword so quickly. The boy did not rely on his dōjutsu yet… but that didn't mean he was out of options. "This won't end as quickly as I had hoped… so in that case…" His sword began to glow a faint orange red.

"Aw man…" Suigetsu moaned seeing the sword his opponent was using and took a stance. "What is it with me and pyros today?"

"No clue. Sorry." Sasuke smirked as he rushed forward this time, determined to get past his opponent's guard and either win or get some damage in. Deflecting Suigetsu's counter strike instead of avoiding it allowed the boy to throw off his opponent's guard enough to get in a strike. Leaving nothing to chance, the Uchiha activated his eyes as he struck in order to make sure he didn't miss any possible information in the act. He wouldn't rely on his eyes for everything, but data collection was definitely something he could use them for and not appear to be overly dependent.

Suigetsu was skilled and practiced enough to jump away as soon as his guard was broken, but it wasn't quick enough to prevent him from getting scratched by the red sword. "Gah!" The boy grunted as his stomach steamed. He looked down to see in surprise that unlike how he expected, the wound had not simply disappeared but instead seemed raw and red near the cut. "The hell? Why am I still hurt?"

"Water…" Sasuke frowned as he straightened up. "You can turn your entire body to water… that's how you managed to escape from that last guy's attacks with no damage… you're virtually immune to almost all physical attacks and incredibly resistant to most fire based ones…"

"Resistant my ass!" The boy yelled pointing to his stomach. "Why the hell am I not immune to your attack then?"

Sasuke smirked as he readied his sword again, only this time charging it with electricity. "My fire chakra streaming is designed not to burn, but to eat away at whatever is cut, like a poison or an acid. Your ability is useful… but my chakra is concentrated and focused enough to still linger in your system, albeit at a reduced efficiency. It'll probably disappear within a few minutes… however, I wonder if those effects will be the same for my lightning chakra?" The nervous twitch and the small amount of sweat rolling down Suigetsu's face was more than enough for Sasuke to see what his opponent was thinking. "Good."

"Fuck!" Suigetsu yelled as Sasuke charged forward with his lighting charged sword. The water element frowned as one of his arms beefed up instantly. "Don't get cocky just because you think you figured me out!"

Sasuke's eyes widened at the absurd sight of the boy's huge arms and barely managed to dodge out of the way of the strike that caused the ground to shake from the impact. "The hell?" He frowned as he attempted to put more space between him and his opponent… only to make a last second maneuver as the larger teen charged forward again, intent on taking him down before the Uchiha could get control of the situation again. "His arms look like they're soaked, too… He can enhance his strength using the same methods…"

"He's actually using it?" Chōjurō said in a surprised tone. "He still has trouble keeping it under control… he knows that…"

"This guy's good…" Suigetsu laughed nervously to himself as Sasuke managed to jump away again. "He's not even using his eyes…" He grimaces as one of his arms twitched momentarily. "Great… I'm already losing control…"

Sasuke frowned as he saw the twitch for a moment before relaxing again and surprisingly went on the offensive. "Looks like I won't need to use my eyes after all…" He mumbled as he swung with his sword rather quickly but at an angle that was fairly easy to block…

Which the unfortunate Kiri ninja mistakenly did do, allowing the electricity from Sasuke to flow directly into the boy's already unstable arms. Within moments, the two appendages nearly exploded in large bursts of water, leaving the boy open to Sasuke's attacks and dealing significant damage to the water user.

Normally observing his opponent's body parts explode into an element would have surprised the Uchiha enough so that his opponent might have enough time to regroup. However, two things combined were preventing that. The first was that Sasuke had already figured out for the most part what Suigetsu's ability was. The second was due to yet another seemingly random lesson regarding enemies with very obscure powers taught by the Ōgakari. The 'Don't let enemies reform if they can turn their entire bodies into an element, and for fuck's sake, NEVER let them dive headfirst into a large source of said element' part in particular seemed to be the most relevant parts to take to heart here.

As such, Suigetsu was left defenseless as Sasuke slashed him repeatedly with his lightning charged sword as his arms were barely in the shape of arms and the electricity prevented him from being able to reform them. Within a few seconds, the water boy was down on the ground, grimacing in pain with a sword to his neck. "You lose." The Uchiha panted with frowned eyes.

"Winner! Sasuke Uchiha!" The judge samurai shouted, getting applause and cheers from various people in the audience.

"The end of that fight was obvious." Kisame chuckled. "Even if he was Mangetsu's younger brother and had full control over enhancing his arm strength, the moment that little Sasuke used lightning chakra, the match was as good as done."

"The only time he used his eyes was when he was trying to figure out his opponent's ability…" Scabbard mused. "He's trying to rely more on his own abilities and not on his eyes…"

"That's a scary ability, though…" Tenten shivered. "I wouldn't have been able to deal with it nearly as well as Sasuke did…"

"Suigetsu! Are you okay?" Chōjurō asked his exhausted partner as he limped back to the box, dragging his sword behind him.

"Somehow…" The teen moaned. "Man… lightning chakra just freaking screws me over every single time… I really need to find a way to deal with it…" He shook his head. "Never mind. You're up again, Chōjurō." He glanced at Tenten warily. "Keep an eye on that girl. She's a lot better than we're giving her credit for." He shifted himself so that he was sitting more comfortably on the ground.

"She mentioned something about not using verses in her last fight to Zabuza-senpai and that green guy… I have no idea what that means, but my guess is that if she starts singing or speaking a chant or something… you'd better keep your guard up." He tried to move his arms, only to have them twitch instead. "My advice? Finish her fast, before she can pull out whatever her ace is… otherwise, you'll have to explain to Mizukage-sama that you lost to a girl who's smaller than you in front of thousands of people… you'd probably embarrass her, since she was one of the ones who supported you becoming the first of the next generation of the Swordsmen in the first place…" He paused for a moment. "On second thought… get your ass kicked. Maybe then I can finally get my hands on Hiramekarei…"

Chōjurō twitched as Suigetsu's words rang through his head. "Embarrass… Mizukage-sama…?"

"Tenten…" Scabbard spoke, gaining the girl's attention. "I believe that it would be best if you started off strong for your next fight…" He glanced at Chōjurō. "Your opponent has one of the 7 Swordsmen's weapons for a reason… and I believe that his skill combined with his weapon is enough to overpower Zangetsu and adequately defend himself from your other… standard weapons…"

The girl frowned as she glanced at the oddly shaped sword. "You mean I should…" She let out a slow breath of air, clearly not liking the advice given. "… I was at least hoping to test his abilities out a little before busting that out…"

"You should know the timing better than I do." Scabbard frowned. "I'm not a faker. I don't have the brand of insight that you do. Look at Hiramekarei and determine if you can hold it off with Zangetsu. The answer should be easy for you…"

"Will Chōjurō of Kirigakure and Tenten of Konohagakure please come to the center of the arena?" The judge called out, once again indicating the fight would soon start.

"Hm…" Darui mused as he watched the pair walk to the center of the arena. "Hey, Bee. Who do you think is gonna win this? The Konoha guys seem pretty confident in that girl of theirs, but I don't think she can get past one of the swords of the 7…"

"That may be what others see, Darui… but I think this is where push comes to shove… and girlie is gonna finally take off her gloves." The glasses wearing man rapped. "When I was out to choose where to put my cash… I couldn't help but remember something from the girl's fight…" He crossed his arms. "Those bone blades of hers came out of a flash…"

"Don't you mean in a flash?" Darui asked skeptically, remembering that Bee had decided to watch the fight from a different part of the wall of the arena at the time.

"Nah, ya foo. Out of a flash. A fast light filled her hands before she had the bones and went all slash slash. Girlie tried to hide makin' dem bones by covering her side… but it wasn't enough to fool my eyes…"

"She made them…" Darui mused as he looked at the two teens ready themselves in the middle of the grounds…

"Are both fighters ready?" The proctor asked both teens, who nodded silently without taking their eyes off of each other. "Fight!"

Both teens wasted no time as Chōjurō launched himself forward, his sword already channeling chakra into a hammer again… only to block a second later as Tenten unleashed another one of her massive trademark chakra slashes. As expected by many, the powerful strike didn't do anything other than stop the blue haired boy in his tracks and kick up some dust… but that was all Tenten needed…

"You are going to have to do better than that!" Chōjurō yelled as he launched himself into the air at the girl who had not only not moved at all, but had even stabbed her sword into the ground and let go if it… making an odd but strangely familiar stance…

" _I am the bone of my sword…"_ The girl chanted, not once looking away or attempting to escape from her opponent's massive attack…

"Tenten!" Shouted the Konoha shinobi who were not familiar with her new array of powers as Chōjurō was just about on top of her.

BOOM!

A massive shockwave shook through the arena, kicking up enough dust to prevent anyone from seeing what happened inside…

"Well… I didn't expect the fight to end that quickly…" Suigetsu chuckled. "I mean, I occasionally butcher my opponents, but Chōjurō actually crushes them until they look like paste…"

Kurotetsu laughed. "Ah, so sad, weakling. I guess that brat you brought along just got killed. Oh well… that was to be expected from a ninja from Konoha. Unless they have a bloodline, they're surprisingly weak by themselves…"

"The girl's still alive…" Saito Yukimura frowned as he walked forward. "… But the manner in which she survived…"

"…Eh?" Kisame mused as he squinted. "Well… that certainly is unexpected… and interesting…"

As the clouds cleared, the audience were met with a rather interesting sight. Chōjurō was back where he had originally started the fight from, holding his sword firmly… too firmly, if the shaking and the shock in his eyes was evident. It was understandable… as the girl he was facing was holding a perfect copy of his own weapon… and in the exact same stance he was in.

"What… in the world?" The boy shook with disbelieving eyes.

Ao from the audience shook with both surprise and rage. Somehow, Konoha had managed to recreate one of Kiri's prized weapons. His Byakugan told him that the tool was no illusion or poorly made copy. He would have to inform the Mizukage about this and about the girl using the copy…

"This thing really is a pain to swing around…" The girl frowned as she weighed the weapon in her arms. "Still… it's not like I'm not used to swinging weapons this size around…" She grinned savagely at the now scared blue haired boy. "Let's see how good you really are compared to your predecessors…" Suddenly, the girl's sword erupted with chakra, but instead of taking the form of a hammer, the chakra instead shot straight outward to form a blade easily long enough to reach Chōjurō from where she was standing… which she proved when she swung and forced the boy to barely get out of the way in time.

"Hoh?" Kisame blinked. "That was one of the more advanced moves for Hiramekarei… and yet she did it without a second thought. It takes up more than a fair share of chakra to do, too… she must have some pretty deep reserves…"

"She's been working in her family's smithing shop since she was little, and her teacher is the infamous taijutsu psycho Gai Maito." Scabbard shrugged as the chakra retracted. "Is it really so surprising that her strength and stamina are at least that high?"

"Don't think you can get away from me so easily!" Tenten roared as she pointed her copied weapon in the opposite direction of her opponent. Instantly, the chakra surrounding the sword shot forward again, sticking itself into the ground and launching the girl forward into the air at incredible speeds at the boy.

In the middle of the girl's flight, however, Sasuke with his eyes active and Scabbard noticed something at the same time and frowned.

"That's my brother's technique!" Suigetsu gaped as Tenten's sword immediately reformed into a giant hammer again. "How the hell can she do that?"

"Fall!" The girl roared as she swung down on Chōjurō, who had barely managed to swing in retaliation just in time. Another massive shockwave exploded throughout the arena and kicking up far more dust.

"Care to explain what the hell just happened?" Darui asked Zabuza while watching to see what happened next.

The masked man smirked. "Girlie there has the ability to copy and almost perfectly recreate any weapon she sees with her chakra in an instant. Powers, skills, styles, stances, techniques that have been used with the original… the moment the thing is in her hands, she knows them all, and depending on how much the weapon has been through, could possibly have the thing mastered. In the case of a weapon like one of the Seven Swordsmen… well…" He nodded his head towards the smoke. "Exhibit A." His eyes narrowed as he caught onto something. "… In fact…"

Darui turned his attention to the fight again where Chōjurō had just flown out of the dust with a massive gash on his chest. Within 15 seconds, the dust had cleared enough for the figure of the girl to be seen… only this time, she was not holding Hiramekarei… but instead was gripping a bloody copy of the modified Kubikiri Hōchō with one hand, resting it on one of her shoulders while her other hand was in the seal for focusing chakra in front of her closed eyes.

"No way…" Suigetsu gaped as he looked from Tenten to Zabuza and repeated the process. "How the hell…?"

"I didn't know Tenten was so good at the silent killing technique." Sai mused. "I was aware that she was studying it a bit while learning under Zabuza…"

"Tenten's skill in the technique is rather good…" Lee stated without taking his eyes off of his partner. "To be honest though, mine is better in most circumstances… however, the case is different when she creates a copy of Zabuza-sensei's sword."

Kiba raised an eyebrow. "What? You're telling us that Tenten becomes a mini version of Zabuza when she has that thing in her hands?"

Lee paused. "There are certainly others who are still more skilled than her at silent killing when she is like this. However… I cannot honestly disagree with your impression, Kiba…"

"You're too injured…" Tenten stated in a calm tone to her heavily breathing opponent as she slowly opened her eyes. "If you keep on fighting, there might be permanent damage. I suggest you surrender…"

"I… won't…" Gasped the boy as he struggled to his feet again. "I will not… dishonor Mizukage-sama's faith in me… I will not let her down…"

"The Mizukage's a woman?" Tenten blinked before smirking. "Well, I have to thank you. Letting me know that almost half of the Kage in the world are women just made my day…" The girl walked towards Zangetsu, which was still stabbed into the ground a few dozen meters away. "That sword of yours is really something… the techniques it uses drain a hell of a lot more chakra than I expected it to." Much to the surprise of almost everyone watching, the massive blue tinted sword the girl was holding exploded with a glass like sound into thousands of fading glowing fragments. "Still… it got the job done. Did some damage, and opened your guard…" She sighed without even indicating that her previous weapon had just blown apart in her hands. "Just to let you know, though… you have a hell of a long way to go before you can get as good as your predecessors."

Chōjurō shook from both nervousness and blood loss. "What… are you?"

The girl grinned as her original weapon's blade began to glow blue again. "Me? I'm a blacksmith."

Scabbard frowned. That was HIS line, damn it! Now he couldn't use it during his fights without looking like he'd ripped it off of a 14 year old girl! He shook his head. Now was not the time to silently rage against his pseudo-apprentice. Now was the time to dedicate his massive brain power to coming up with a new thing to say that made him look intimidating.

Chōjurō grimaced as the girl charged at him with her glowing weapon. The wound on his chest restricted his movements greatly… and he was fairly certain that if he tried anything complex, he really would do something permanent… still, he wouldn't back down. "You're a scary blacksmith…" He muttered to himself as he flared the remains of his chakra into his last counterattack.

Tenten roared as she jumped towards her opponent, intent on striking at him from above. "Take this!" She shouted as she unleashed a massive chakra wave from her sword towards the blue haired boy, the attack grabbing everyone's attention easily.

"You aren't the only one who knows how to use Hiramekarei!" The nervous boy yelled in response as the chakra around his sword extended to an absurd length, much like Tenten had done before and swung at the oncoming attack. The two chakra forces clashed with intensity as they fought one another for the right to attack the other's owner. After what seemed like an eternity to many, but in reality had only been a few seconds, Chōjurō's blade had managed to cut through Tenten's shockwave and torn through the area where the girl was…

Keyword. Was.

"I win." The bun haired girl growled as she held Zangetsu's blade in a way that was both resting on Chōjurō's shoulder and half a centimeter from cutting his jugular artery.

"Wh…what?" The boy whispered in surprise as he registered that he was beaten. "How did you…" His eyes widened as he saw a long thin sword stabbed into the ground right below Tenten would have been in the air had she not disappeared. "Nuibari?" He gasped just as that weapon too shattered into thousands of dissolving pieces.

"She knew that her attack would most likely not be enough to overpower her opponent's counter…" Zabuza nodded. "So she used another one of my old group's swords to pull herself down to the ground in order to outmaneuver her opponent while he was distracted by the first attack…"

"That's another one of the Seven Swordsmen's weapons…" Darui mused. "So… back when Kurotetsu showed them off in the preliminaries…"

Zabuza smirked. "Yeah. The idiot allowed the girl access to them in an instant." He glanced at Kisame and Chōjurō. "With Hiramekarei and my sword in her catalog… the girl is virtually 6 of the 7 Swordsmen in one body… all she needs now is to see Kisame fight me."

Darui frowned as he looked at the panting girl. "… Is it some kind of bloodline of hers?"

The wrapped man shook his head. "Nah. I don't really get it myself, but apparently it has to do with some kind of special way she sees the world and connects to weapons. Some kind of hidden talent that is almost impossible to come across if what Scab said is true. It also takes some kind of very specific kind of training and technique in order to get it to work like that. Again, the only guy who really knows is Scab, but he doesn't really talk much about it. All I really know is that he had a very good friend once who had this same ability… and that's it."

"Winner! Tenten of Konoha!" The proctor announced as the crowd roared excitedly, clearly not expecting such a unique fight.

o. o. o.

"Was that even allowed?" Whispered one samurai to Mifune as the two watched the fighters were escorted off the field. "A ninjutsu that produces weapons…"

Mifune breathed heavily through his nose before opening his eyes. "It is passable. It takes a deep understanding of swords to be able to remake them to the point that it not only has the same powers, but the user can perform the techniques as well on the first time using it…"

o. o. o.

"Hmph… Guess Kisame was right after all." Kakuzu grunted as he saw the girl walk back. "I guess I owe him a fair amount from this… though it is nothing compared to how much I made… both brat's heads are bound to be worth a pretty penny after this, too."

"Both brats would make excellent sacrifices to Jashin-sama." Hidan grinned. "In fact, I wonder if I can convert the girl. That ability to make tools would make her rituals divine!"

"Shut it with that annoying religion of yours." Kakuzu grunted as he began to walk to the betting station. "I'm off to make another wager."

Hidan rolled his eyes before turning to a part of the audience. "Fine. I'll just waste time laughing at Itachi getting bugged by that woman. Honestly, why the hell hasn't he killed the bitch yet?" He snorted as the woman began patting the teen on the back rather hard and laughing loudly.

Kakuzu sighed. "Because if he made her shut up now, the people around them would notice. He'll probably use his illusions on her to make her jump off a cliff or something after the events. I remember hearing him do that to a target he was once assigned…"

o. o. o.

"You lost your focus when you attacked that second time with Hiramekarei." Sasuke stated to Tenten as she collapsed next to him, clearly tired from her previous fight.

"Heh… you saw that…" The girl laughed dryly, remembering how her recreated sword began to fall apart on itself when she flew through the air to attack her opponent. The real reason why she had recreated Kubikiri Hōchō right after she had attacked was because the Hiramekarei she had used had imploded on itself right after the clash and she needed a strong weapon to protect herself with right then. It just so happened that making Zabuza's weapon was second nature to her at that point and was also the best weapon she could have used at that point. Apparently, she still wasn't good enough to make reliable high level weapons that she had yet to get used to with only a single verse. "I guess I need some more practice…"

Sasuke sighed. "If you're prone to screwing up like that… I should at least give you a handicap and let you do all your verses before we fight. Otherwise, it might be too easy…"

Tenten growled. "What was that, pink eye?"

"Once again, we will have a 30 minute recess for the participants to rest and recover for the final matches and for you to place your bets." The judge claimed. "Please make use of this time wisely…"

Scabbard walked to the two teens and handed them each a pill. "Take them. These are special soldier pills that will fully recover your reserves and stamina without doing any extra damage to your system. For your injuries, though, you'd better go to the medics…"

The pair nodded as they took the pills and swallowed, and then blinked at the sudden rush of power they both received. Silently glancing at one another and briefly smirking, they walked to the medics to get their wounds checked.

o. o. o.

"So how is he, doc?" Suigetsu asked the medic who was working on his teammate. "How much damage did the bun chick do?"

"Your teammate is recovering from some decent blood loss." The medic responded while pulling down her mask. "He should be good enough to watch the rest of the fights, but I highly advise avoiding any tasks that require extreme movement for at least a few weeks if he wants his wounds to heal properly." She looked back at the dazed Chōjurō. "He would have been in better shape had he not attempted that last encounter with that girl."

Suigetsu nodded. "Right. Blood loss. Week in bed. Retarded attempt to win made wounds worse. Got it. Can I talk to him?"

The medic shook her head and wordlessly walked to the side, allowing the boy to pass.

"Oi Chōjurō." Suigetsu smirked as he sauntered to his dazed teammate. "Tell me, what it was like getting your ass kicked by a girl armed with a ton of deadly weapons?"

The blue haired boy smiled weakly. "It hurts. A lot."

The water boy laughed. "It looked like it." He shook his head. "That girl can make copies of swords… man, what kind of messed up power is that?"

"This coming from the guy who can turn his entire body into water…" Chōjurō laughed briefly before wincing and lying back down. "… She said something right before she made her copy of Hiramekarei… I think that was that verse thing you warned me about earlier."

Suigetsu raised an eyebrow. "Really? I saw her lips moving, but I just thought she was trying to say something witty. What did she say?"

The blue haired boy frowned for a moment before shaking his head. "Can't remember. Everything was going so fast at the time that I couldn't make it out…"

"I wouldn't worry too much about that…" Spoke a third voice from above the two boys, causing them to go rigid and look up… to see Zabuza looking down at them from the ceiling in a very Kakashi like manner. "You'll probably get to hear it better in the next fight."

"Z-Z-Z-Zabuza-senpai…" Chōjurō stammered, scared and nervous about being in the presence of the legend from his home village. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Just checking up on the latest user on Hiramekarei and Mangetsu's little brother." The man shrugged before looking at the more injured of the two again. "The girl definitely did a number on you… though I'm not surprised, all things considered."

Chōjurō looked down depressed. "I guess I'm really not cut out to be a Swordsman then, huh?"

The upside down man snorted. "If they put your confidence into the equation yeah, you shouldn't be, but from what I saw, you at least aren't lacking in the swordsmanship part." The boy blinked confused. "Don't compare yourself to the girl's skills. She has a weird ass ability with swords that I'm still trying to get a good grasp of. What I do know is that if you fought her when you actually do master Hiramekarei, then you'd have nowhere near as much trouble against her as you did now. As it is, you wouldn't make a half bad swordsman when your balls finally drop…"

Suigetsu smirked. "It's more a question of 'if' his balls drop rather than 'when', Senpai."

"Suigetsu…" The sheepish boy momentarily frowned before wincing due to the pain in his chest and looked at Zabuza again. "Why are you really here, Senpai? You're wanted by Kiri for trying to kill Yagura-sama… and when we overthrew him and tried to send a message to you to come back, you just killed the ANBU that we sent."

The assassin deadpanned. "… You sent hunter-nin… to ME… while I was on the run… to give me a message… and you expected me to believe them?" He shook his head. "Kid. Let me tell you something about hunter nin tactics… 9 times out of 10, if hunter-nin are claiming to have a message for you and come in peace, odds are likely that there are at least 1 or 2 full teams in the process of trying to get into position to ambush you, right then and there… and the best way to get out of a situation like that is to plow straight through the messenger, because that direction is normally the least fortified. It was in the damn manual of tactics to memorize when I was a hunter, for fuck's sake. Before I joined Konoha, Kiri tried that tactic on me at least 7 times, and even Tsunade Senju would win if she bet that more than 5 of them were meant to take my head. Whoever decided to use hunters to do it is a fucking idiot."

The two boys looked at one another laughing nervously, silently agreeing with what the man had said.

Shaking his head, Zabuza continued. "Whatever. If the guys back home want to say something to me… just send a message to Konoha or something. I might not even kill the messenger if I see him… as long as he isn't annoying, at least."

"We'll keep that in mind." Suigetsu sighed reluctantly, knowing that technically, part of the secret part of their mission to Iron had just been completed. "So… what's it like being a hippy Konoha ninja?"

The eldest of the group actually had to try and hold back a groan. "It's hell, kid. The kind of hell that does not make any sense at all and focuses its entire purpose into reminding you that every fucking day… if I have to hear one more god forsaken hymn about the log…"

The boys blinked, absolutely oblivious to what Zabuza was trying to rage about.

"Never mind…" Zabuza shook his head. "So who's the new Mizukage? I heard it was some woman with two bloodlines, but I forgot her name."

"The Godaime Mizukage's name is Mei Terumi." Suigetsu smirked as he glanced knowingly at a blushing Chōjurō. "She's around your age, and so far she's done a better job at keeping things together than Yagura-Sama did. If you want a picture, Chōjurō's likely to have more than a few he can part with…"

"S-S-Suigetsu! Stop! Please!" The blue boy stammered and blushed heavily.

Zabuza laughed. "Heh. There's nothing wrong about wanting to go for older women, kid, especially since the girls your age are still trying to figure out what the hell is happening to their chests. Just make sure you go for one that isn't that much older than you, or she'll prune up long before you get past your prime."

"I said the exact same thing." Suigetsu sniggered. "Chōjurō, hurry up with that picture already."

"F-fine…" The boy blushed as he took out a picture from a secret pocket behind his protector on his chest and handed it to Zabuza.

"Now let's see…" The man mused as he looked at the picture of the long brown/red haired woman and whistled. "She's a looker, all right. Nice rack, curves in the right places, good face…" He listed off the woman's qualities, causing Chōjurō to shrink more into himself. "Huh… that face…" Zabuza repeated as he began to think more carefully before his eyes widened and the skin on his face paled. "Oh… You… have got to be fucking joking…"

Suigetsu looked at Zabuza confused. "Eh? What's wrong?"

What was wrong was that the reason why Mei looked so familiar to Zabuza was because he had seen and talked to her before quite frequently when he was still in Kiri up until Yagura began to enact some of his more distasteful decisions…

…Only Mei had about an extra 200 pounds on her at the time, and was quite… _enamored_ with Zabuza. In fact, she had stalked Zabuza quite often. Even though she didn't ask him out when they were teens, Zabuza, unlike Naruto, actually knew about her attraction to him. Unlike Naruto though, he didn't really want to be in a relationship at that point… or anything else, really, other than chilling with a still sane Yagura and killing some more random ninja for the hell of it, so for the most part, he had ignored her. The one time she did ask him out, he just shot her down without hesitation, saying she wasn't his type... only with more laughing and not as nicely. They still worked rather well together on missions where they were forced to team up, but other than that, they kept away from one another after that. Still… he had no idea that she had 2 bloodlines. The most he had noticed about her was that she could use 3 elements… though that might have been due to the bloodline purges picking up around then.

 _'Ooooooh… this will not end well at all…'_ The assassination specialist mentally wept as he swore he could hear his old Seven Swordsmen teammates laughing at him from the afterlife. "NOTHING!" The man squeaked out in a high pitched voice before clearing his throat. "Nothing…" He repeated as he handed the picture back. "So… since you have a crush on her… I'm guessing she's still single, then? I thought that someone with those looks could easily get hooked up by now…"

"Same could be said about Tsunade Senju if what I've heard is true." Suigetsu shrugged. "I noticed that she gets all touchy when someone mentions her single status or her age, but other than that, she's normally on top of everything and pretty chill about anything coming her way."

"Really?" Chōjurō asked curiously. "I didn't notice that…"

"Of course you wouldn't, dumbass. You're normally noticing everything else about her…" The white haired boy rolled his eyes.

The conversation would have continued, but Zabuza suddenly cut through the light hearted atmosphere with several kunai thrown to a seemingly random direction. "I wouldn't move any closer in that direction if I were you…" The man growled seriously.

The boys quickly turned to see Kurotetsu standing lazily to the side of the room with an annoyed look. It probably had to do something with the fact that he was halfway between the nearest doorway and Hiramekarei, and the kunai studding the wall several inches away from his person in the direction of said sword. "Well, isn't that a fine way to welcome someone who just wanted to pat the kid on the back for a good fight?"

"Coming from the guy who was walking to the sword instead of the fighter… yeah, it is." Zabuza frowned. "At least have the balls to do shit like this when the owner can fight back."

"Tch. If this is the way I'm going to be treated, then fine." Kurotetsu snorted as he turned for the door. "Tough luck getting your ass kicked by that small girl, kid. I feel sorry for that sword being in the hands of someone as weak as you."

"Less talking, more get your ass out of here already." Zabuza grunted as the handsome Kurotetsu left the room. "That man is more annoying than Gai…"

"Gai?" Suigetsu asked confused.

"A taijutsu nut in Konoha that runs around in nothing but spandex and yells more often than he talks." Sighed the assassin as he landed on the ground, tired of standing upside down. "The sad thing is that he's actually damn strong."

"We'll try to keep an eye out for a ninja like that then on our missions…" Suigetsu nodded.

Zabuza shook his head. "Believe me when I say this… you would be better off if you didn't… much…"

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

Tayuya woke up from her bed and looked down. "GOD MOTHER FUCKING DAMN IT NOT AGAIN!"

"Something happen, Tayuya?" Jirōbō asked as he opened the door with nerdy looking glasses on. Unknown by many, the large boy was slightly far sighted, so he needed glasses to read and write for extended periods of time.

The red headed girl stared at the boy for the grand total of 3 seconds with a progressively twitching eyebrow. "OUT! NOW!"

o. o. o.

Iron:

"Good call with Kurotetsu." Zabuza grunted as he took his position next to Scabbard again next to the wall.

"I'm surprised you didn't predict it yourself." Scab replied casually. "There weren't any hunters there?"

"No. Probably trying to figure where I disappeared to after I gave one of the m the slip earlier." The assassin shrugged and glanced at Sasuke and Tenten walking to the middle of the grounds. "So after seeing their fights… what say you?"

"The fights are still fairly even… however, Sasuke has a slight advantage." The immortal yawned. "His Sharingan will help him keep up with most tricks that Tenten can pull out. Plus, he's a bit faster than she is…"

Zabuza nodded. "Yeah. But faker girl has the weapons, skills, styles, and experience of at least half a dozen high level swordsmen, and switch between them damn quickly. That's something that most people can't simply just get used to, even if you've seen it before… plus…"

Scabbard raised an eyebrow. "Plus?"

The man smirked as he looked around and saw all the fighters who weren't knocked out cold watching the two chūnin curiously as they got into position. "Well… I don't like spoiling the surprise… but last night, your student made a 4th verse…"

"… I see…" The immortal said slowly as he looked at the fight ready to start. "… If that's the case… then I need to recalculate the odds…"

"Fighters, are you ready?" The proctor stated in a loud authoritative voice, getting everyone's attention and for once silencing the audience. The two teens nodded, not once making a gesture for their weapons and simply standing there. "The finals of the junior division will now start! Tenten of Konoha and Sasuke of Konoha! Fight!"

Unlike the previous matches they had, Tenten and Sasuke did not move as they eyed one another warily for a few seconds before Sasuke reached for his sword. "Tenten… let's go all out from the beginning…" He stated as his eyes activated. "I'm tired of beating around the bush. Show me how much your power can do."

The girl smirked as she took Zangetsu off her back and stabbed it into the ground. "Fine by me, Sasuke…" She breathed out slowly and closed her eyes.

" _I am the bone of my sword…"_

Several members of the audience shivered as the girl's words echoed in the quiet cavern.

"That's what she said right before she made that copy of Hiramekarei!" Chōjurō hissed to Suigetsu.

" _Steel is my body…_

… _and fire is my blood…"_

Tenten continued with her chant as she opened her dark brown eyes to focus on the Uchiha, who took a stance and was about to charge when his danger senses screamed at him to stop.

" _I… have grown aside countless blades…"_

 _'A fourth verse?'_ The Uchiha mentally screamed as Tenten's chakra skyrocketed and she charged forward without anything in hand at an incredible speed and swung her arms at him as if she was holding something. Not wanting to take any chances, the Uchiha jumped back in an attempt to avoid whatever weapon of mass destruction the girl conjured. His fears were proven correct as his opponent produced an axe like blade in one hand and a hammer in the other, connected via the hilts by a long strip of what seemed like leather.

 _'Kabutowari too?'_ Mentally shouted all the Kiri shinobi, who immediately recognized the weapon.

The girl's attack fell short of hitting her target… however, that was not her intention, as the blade dug into the ground… and the hammer slammed onto the backside of the large blade with incredible force. The results were instantaneous, as a massive exploding crack in the ground erupted from the blade and shot forward toward the shocked Uchiha. Sasuke managed to escape the bulk of the attack, but the flying stones did a wonderful job of dealing several dozen scratches to him as well as distract him enough that he almost didn't block Tenten's follow up attack with a set of odd looking twin swords with two fang like protrusions on each blade. The single sword user almost instantly noticed that the weapons were channeling lightning based chakra and as such had to do the same in order to prevent himself from being paralyzed.

Zabuza smirked. ' _While at first glance, Kabutowari doesn't look like much, it's a lot like Kubikiri Hōchō was. There are seals inside of it that are designed to harden the blade's edge while magnifying the force of the blows the hammer does on the back. The more chakra used, the stronger the second hit is. That weapon is actually the best used for destroying barriers, seals, and virtually any defense that can possibly be set up, so long as the user has enough chakra. When fighting individuals, though, attacking the ground can also be a viable technique…'_

As the two were fighting, the aftershocks of Tenten's first attack still recoiled throughout the cave and causing some disturbances. While there were seals that prevented the audience from being injured, they did nothing to prevent several of the frozen stalactites hanging from the ceiling of the cave from being jarred loose and falling down onto the arena.

Naruto, who was at the time standing on one of said natural structures, had to make use of some quick dashing and a well-timed jump to make sure he didn't land in the middle of the fight… or on top of an unknowing pedestrian.

Tenten and Sasuke, however, took the new constant obstacle in stride as they constantly jumped between and on top of the falling structures while at the same time attacking one another. With the constant training that Kimimaro had given then and the occasional situational training that the Ōgakari had put them through both before and after the Chūnin Exams, the two could confidently keep fighting in the current conditions, though not as well as Neji, Hinata, and Naruto, who were aware of all their surroundings constantly in a big fight.

 _'Ice…'_ Tenten noted as she jumped off of one of the fallen structures to attack a midair Sasuke, only to be parried in the process.

"I thought you were a water affinity!" Sasuke grinned as he jumped as soon as he landed in order to avoid a falling boulder. He would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying this fight right now.

"I'm not! These swords are able to convert chakra into that element!" The girl responded just as confidently running along the side of another pillar. "If I was one, I probably would have cut through your sword already!"

"Good to know!" He yelled as the two clashed again, weaving in and out of the other's range at an unreal speed before jumping away again to avoid being crushed.

"Jeez, those two are really into this fight, aren't they?" Zabuza commented as Tenten came out from behind another ice pillar to attack Sasuke.

"It appears they want to see who the better sword user of the two really is." Scabbard mused. "I must say, though… their performance now is much higher than I expected it to be…" Several loud and bright bolts of electricity erupted as the two clashed their weapons. "…They must be having fun…"

 _'Damn…'_ Sasuke mentally swore as he and Tenten backed away from one another to let one of the last stalactites fall in between them. The teen knew enough about Tenten's abilities to know that her copied weapons were quality wise a rank or half a rank below what the originals were on average when she used all of her verses to focus… and the same thing went with the skills she acquired. If the girl was this good with tools she could only half use due to her affinity, then the originals must have been absurd! Even with his lightning charged sword and his eyes, he was only on equal ground with the girl…

The boy's musings were cut short as something pierced through the cone that embedded itself into the ground and made its way to him. The Uchiha's eyes barely managed to recognize what was happening and dodge enough to get cut in the side to see a thin long sword with a cord tied to its hilt flying through the air to be the culprit. "It's that sword from last time…" The boy grunted as he remembered seeing the weapon at the end of Tenten's previous fight while dealing with the decent scratch the sneak attack had done to him. "Apparently it has high piercing power…"

Clang!

His musings were once again interrupted as he blocked Tenten's attack from above with the twin lighting swords again, wincing as his fresh wound acted up. "I'm surprised…" Tenten grinned as she pressed down more. "I didn't think that you would actually get hit by Nuibari…"

"Give me a break…" The boy grunted. "I kinda forgot that you used to fight by throwing this kind of crap around by the truck load before Scab started to train you… besides, I don't know what half the shit you're pulling out does. Most people aren't expecting projectile weapons in a sword master match, you know…"

"Said the ninja to the other ninja…" Snorted Tenten as they jumped back again.

"Touché…" The Uchiha grumbled as he began to focus more of his chakra and caused the electricity on his sword to flare. "I guess I'm going to have to change tactics…" Using Blaze Edge would be next to useless against Tenten. Any weapon he would destroy would just be replicated in half a second. Unless breaking the guard meant instantly doing damage, it would only waste his chakra and damage his sword.

Tenten's eyes widened as the Uchiha bolted forward moving at incredible speeds that could easily be compared to Lee's. Knowing she wouldn't be able to follow that kind of movement, the girl jumped quickly to the top of one of the pillars before jumping again to yet another one, constantly keeping an eye on the incredibly fast Uchiha who was right behind her.

' _I can't follow him like this…'_ The girl grimaced as she deflected a few swift slashes and barely managed to get away without being cut. ' _These swords are good, but they don't have the style I need for this situation… I'm not built for them…'_ She ducked under a slash before jumping away again. ' _This speed is taxing for Sasuke, but he'll probably be able to win before I can outlast him or get enough time at this rate… I need a weapon that belonged to someone who was constantly put in this situation. Always against someone stronger…'_ She parried another strike with one sword before blocking another. ' _Always against someone faster…'_ She was blindsided by a kick that sent her flying to the ground. ' _What I need… is…'_ She landed hard, kicking up a fair amount of dust and focused on where Sasuke was once again charging at her, determined to end the fight quickly...

The sound of swords clashing once again echoed throughout the cavern as the onlookers watched with unparalleled interest. The dust cleared to reveal Tenten blocking not with the copies of the lightning Seven Swordsmen blades… but with a pair of falchions; one black, one white.

"So she's finally using Kanshō and Bakuya…" Scabbard mused. "… It should be interesting to see how well she uses them in a real fight."

Almost instantly, the two returned to their fighting… however, there was a distinct difference now. There was little change in Tenten's physical performance. Her speed and strength did not seem to change at all… yet now, she seemed to be able to keep up with the still significantly faster Sasuke. Swing for swing, counter for counter; neither could seem to gain ground on the other.

 _'How the hell is she doing this?'_ Sasuke mentally grunted as he rushed forward again and swung at a small opening the girl had made that would win him the match, only to be almost easily parried despite his speed and countered instantly. The teen dodged and attempted to counter in turn, to find himself blocked in the process. Glaring at his opponent's eyes, the teen noticed an unnatural sharp and focused look to them. ' _She leaves herself slightly open on purpose and takes advantage of knowing what I'm going to do next before I can react. Even with my Sharingan, I'm having trouble following her movements to completely exploit them… she's moving by pure experience…'_ He glanced at the white and black swords dancing in the girl's hands as if they were a part of her. ' _There must be something special about them too, since my lightning chakra isn't shocking her through them. Scabbard said that they once belonged to a friend of his, but… Who the hell was this guy?'_ The boy swung hard, frustrated, and focused more of his chakra in the attack then he was planning to and shattering the white blade. Tenten managed to deflect the blow enough to not get harmed in the process and managed to get in a decent cut on Sasuke's side. The Uchiha tried to capitalize on the fact that the girl was now defenseless on her broken sword's side… however, the moment he swung, he was countered by another copy of Bakuya already in hand, prompting him to jump back in retreat. ' _Damn it!_ _She's faster at reproducing weapons than I thought…I guess I have to try out that move after all…'_

The two teens traded blows back and forth repeatedly before Sasuke managed to separate them with a strong slash. Both were glaring at one another and both were breathing heavily at this point.

"Damn…" Bee said impressed, clearly not expecting a fight on this level between kids that age, especially when this was supposed to be a swordsmanship tournament.

"For once, I'll let you say that again…" Darui blinked. This was certainly not what he was expecting when he got up in the morning.

"Chōjurō?" Suigetsu asked in a calm tone.

"Yes, Suigetsu?" The blue hair boy responded.

"How are we still alive?" The white haired boy asked, tilting his head to the side.

"I really don't know, Suigetsu." The glasses wearing boy wept comically.

"Gotta admit… they're doing better than I expected." Zabuza shrugged to play off how good the brats were doing. He would even hazard to guess that they could possibly beat Haku now if they played their cards right…

"I can't believe you're giving me such a hard time in close combat when I'm moving that much faster than you." Sasuke panted while grinning.

"That makes two of us." Tenten chuckled, trying to ignore the fact that her arms felt like lead at the moment. "So are you out of energy yet?"

"Close, but it's still enough to take you out." Sasuke snorted as he cut off chakra to his sword and pointed his free hand at the girl. "I still have some tricks to play…"

Tenten's eyes widened as she barely jumped out of the way of a long solid beam of lightning chakra that had extended out of Sasuke's hand. Rolling onto her feet, she eyed the beam and saw that it looked like a blade made purely out of chakra. "… You have got to be kidding me…" The girl half growled and half moaned as Sasuke turned to her with a confident look on his face.

"It's called a Chidori spear… but it works just as well as any sword…" The boy smirked as he took a stance. Truth be told, he didn't want to use the technique. Not only was his two sword style a bit weak, but he needed to focus on it so much that he couldn't stream chakra into his other sword. Still, with both of them as exhausted as they were and his spear with a max length of 2 meters, the Uchiha assumed that the new additional factor would change things enough that he could win…

…Technically, he could have easily won if he had also used… no… THAT was only to be used in desperate situations when something extremely important was at stake. For this tournament… using it wasn't an option.

"Let's finish this…" The Uchiha grunted as he dashed forward, slashing with his longer blade quickly and forcing Tenten to retreat. It quickly became apparent that Sasuke had once again regained control of the fight as Tenten could not get close enough to do damage. The combination of the strong wide ranging lightning attack in one hand plus his sword in the other made it impossible for the girl to come close.

 _'Damn it! I can't do anything like this!'_ Tenten yelled tiredly in her head as she barely dodged another attack. ' _I guess I'll have to rely on my backup plan after all…'_

Managing to put some room in between her attacker and her by using the fallen stalactites, the girl landed on another distant outcropping and reached back with both arms. "I'm not your type!" She roared with a sarcastic grin on her face as she threw copy after copy of her weapons at Sasuke without restraint, occasionally going as far as to produce 2 or three copies per hand, causing the boy to stop to defend. The combined awkward trajectory of the blades and Tenten's natural unholy accuracy with thrown sharp objects pinned the Uchiha down long enough to prevent him from keeping an eye on the girl as she disappeared to where the first few cones had dropped.

"Damn it!" Sasuke grunted as he managed to bat aside the last flying blade and watched it burst like glass. "I hate it when she throws those things at me. Kunai and shuriken, fine. Sure. I can live with that… kind of… but throwing swords of all things…" He shook his head. "Honestly, Sakura has inhuman strength, Hinata has her Jūken, Ino has poisons and interrogation, and Tenten now has that annoying weapon making ability. I have to remember to tell the rest of the single guys in our group to get a civilian girlfriend while they still have time…"

o. o. o.

Neji sweatdropped and warily looked at Hinata, who smiled all too sweetly back at him. The boy nodded slowly and looked back at the fight, shivering slightly. The boy knew his place and knew better than to upset the higher order…

The boy was snapped out of his temporary metaphorical ball crushing misery, however, when he saw what his girlfriend was doing. "What? Why is that there? If she can make it instantly…" He paused as he looked closer and remembered what he know about the weapon and grinned. "So that's her plan…"

o. o. o.

Sasuke grimaced as he looked rapidly for Tenten among the debris from the ceiling. It was one thing to find an opponent before they set up for a trap. It was another to find Tenten before she whipped out a new literal weapon of mass destruction on his ass. The fact that she didn't jump out to hit him only added to the suspense.

"God damn it… I feel as if I'm being set up by the dobe all over again…" He grunted as he jumped over another cone and to his relief and fear found his target. Relief that he had finally found her…

… and shock in that she was pulling out a copy of Kubikiri Hōchō from the side of one cone that looked like half of the massive structure that had been drained of all liquid.

"Oh… this won't end well…" The Uchiha paled as he immediately realized that Tenten had at some point left a copy of the massive weapon in one of the giant cones of ice so that it could absorb the water inside while they continued to fight. He realized that the entire fight the girl had fought to win, yet still had set things up so that she had a trump card to play just in case. Now with a fair amount of water in the weapon that she had trained with the most, Tenten was officially at the most dangerous she could possibly get given her condition. Those black and white swords she used definitely made her the most technical and efficient… but nothing compared damage wise when it came to that sword in that girl's hands… other than maybe one of those exploding tags that she had made with Naruto…

The girl grinned and panted as the large cleaver slid out of the ice and stone easily. "You got that right, pink eye." Streaming her water chakra throughout the weapon, the girl easily swung it despite its large size and her exhaustion. "Final round. You up for it?"

Sasuke smirked sarcastically as he cut off chakra to his 3 meter long sword and focused fire and lightning chakra into his normal sword again. "You make it sound like I have a choice."

Tenten's sword was slowly enveloping itself in water. "You could always give up."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Not going to happen."

"Fine by ME!" Tenten's muscles and chakra flared as she swung down, in the process producing a massive water blade originating from her sword, more than long enough to reach the far distance where Sasuke was standing. The Uchiha managed to get out of the way in time, the cone he was standing on was split cleanly in half. Before the blade had even made its way down to the ground, the water and some of the ice it had cut had retracted into the blade again as Tenten already began to swing at Sasuke's new location.

"Damn it, girl…" Zabuza grunted as he noted several of the participants in the senior division looking at him curiously. "Stop giving away my techniques…"

Sasuke tried to counter the assault, however when he tried to cut through the water blade, even if he managed to get through, the water would still hit him hard, which did not help his exhausted body. The girl's swings and control were simply too fast and exact from that range for him to handle at that point. Making a last moment decision, he decided to charge straight at the girl in an attempt to end the fight and avoid the large attacks.

Gathering the remaining chakra into his protesting body, the Uchiha dodged under his assailant's last swing and charged straight towards her… only to notice that the water in the blade was retracting at an even faster speed. When he was halfway to the girl, the water had fully receded and was focused completely on the blade of the sword… which was pointed directly at him by a smirking Tenten.

"Well, that's game." Zabuza stated casually with a hint of finality.

"SHI-!" The boy managed to swear before Tenten's chakra spiked in her last ditched attempt to counter Sasuke's attack.

"WATER STYLE: RETRIBUTION PULSE! (Suiton: Bachi Myaku)." The girl roared at the top of her lungs as all the liquid that was absorbed into the weapon blasted forward relentlessly at its target, plowing through absolutely everything in its path.

Sasuke put on a good effort trying to pierce through the attack with his dual element charged sword, but the water was everywhere and constantly pushing forward, making his attempt both short and futile as he was thrown back straight across the arena, through several fallen stalactites, and crashing into the wall on the other side. By the time the water attack ended, the boy was clearly stuck to the wall, barely conscious, and absolutely unable to move.

The crowd was silent, awestruck by the impressive ending to an outstanding fight.

"He… heh…" Tenten panted and laughed heavily at the same time as the sword she had used to deliver the devastating attack deconstructed itself violently in her hands. "Take that… pink eye. I… winnnn…" Her declaration of victory ended feebly as she collapsed onto the ground unconscious.

The samurai proctor stood there for several seconds, looking at both incapacitated fighters for a good while before clearing his throat. "Both fighters are unable to continue! This match is a draw!"

The audience exploded with cheers and boos alike, the latter most likely from the members who had bet a significant amount of money on the fight, but no one denied that the battle was very impressive.

" _Naruto…"_ Scabbard telepathically spoke into his radio set. He didn't use this ability much, but he found it useful from time to time. _"You flipped a coin when you placed bets on this fight didn't you?"_

There was a brief pause before the blonde chuckled nervously through the air waves. "Heheh. Yeah… you got me…"

There was a brief pause as the immortal watched the medics rush to both Sasuke and Tenten, adamant to make sure that both were ok. _"… It landed on its edge… didn't it?"_ He deadpanned.

The nervous laughing he heard was enough of an answer.

o. o. o.

"An… amazing fight…" Lee said in awe. "I never knew that Tenten and Sasuke were so capable…"

"I don't think any of us did…" Neji gulped. "This was far beyond what they demonstrated in the Chūnin Exams…"

"I still haven't seen the recordings of the exam fights and was stuck in a zombie at the time… but I completely agree with you." Kin affirmed.

"Heh…" Kiba laughed nervously. "Kinda makes you feel left behind, doesn't it?"

"You're telling me." Ino nodded blankly.

Michiru watched as his guards awed at their friends' performance curiously. "… I'm guessing that your friends were stronger than expected?"

o. o. o.

"So what do you think?" Itachi's energetic neighbor asked curiously. "They did quite well, didn't they?"

The teen's cold red eyes didn't shift to the woman as he looked at his little brother. "… It was… a satisfactory performance, granted that he was not allowed to use the full range of his techniques… The girl's power is… intriguing, to say the least."

"You're pissed that Sasuke didn't win." The woman smirked, getting no reaction out of Itachi. "Oh, don't try to hide it. I can tell when you're irritated about something." She relaxed into her seat again. "Your tell sign hasn't changed a bit…"

The stick of pocky in Itachi's mouth snapped even though he remained still and bored looking. "… I would appreciate it if you didn't speak of that so openly…"

The woman smirked. "Aw. Aren't you just adorable when you're trying to hide things from me?"

"What I meant is that my… partners are here, and I would appreciate it if you did not expose our relationship so casually…" Itachi corrected almost irritated.

Kushina rolled her eyes and slumped in her seat. "Please. I already know that you set up that genjutsu that hides what we're saying. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't actually turned to your direction since I sat here, so your buddies just think that you're sitting next to a psycho woman…"

Itachi didn't say anything as he put another piece of special pocky that the woman slipped him into his mouth.

"Oi!" The woman growled. "I know exactly what you were thinking, little boy. Don't think that I haven't seen that face before…"

o. o. o.

Kakuzu frowned as he saw the teens being carted off to get treated. He knew it was a risky bet after watching Tenten fight previously, but he had still put a decent amount of money on Sasuke to win. "Both of those two are going to have high bounties when they get older…" He mused. "Especially the girl. I would put money on Kiri calling for her dead or alive for that ability to recreate their most well-known weapons…"

"You mean how you put money on Itachi's brother to win?" Hidan smirked.

Kakuzu glared at his partner. "I swear I will kill you one of these days, Hidan…" He turned and began to walk away.

"Oi, where are you going? Off to have a good cry after losing all that cash?" Hidan called out.

"I'm going to get my winnings for betting on the girl to make the finals." The masked man stated simply. "Since the last match was a tie, the lines for picking up the winnings should be nonexistent. Ties are the worst things to bet on and almost never happen, so no one bets on them." He turned a corner. "Try not to do anything stupid while I'm gone."

Several minutes later, Kakuzu arrived at the betting area to see a very odd and infuriating sight. In front of him was some blonde brat from Konoha, laughing like a complete fool as he counted a very significant stack of cash in front of many noble figures, civilians, and rogues. "You have got to be joking…" The man frowned as he approached the nearest looking weak seedy person there. "Oi, don't tell me that brat actually bet on the final match being a tie…"

The dirty man snorted without turning around. "Worse. Apparently he predicted that those two Konoha brats would make it to the finals when the original pairings were posted, and to decide who was going to win, he flipped a coin… and the fucking thing landed on edge."

"It's about fucking time my luck looked better on this mission for once!" The boy roared to no one as he continued to laugh in a childish/maniacal way.

"So how much did he get away with?" The missing-nin groaned, seriously considering going after the kid the first moment he let his guard down and there weren't any witnesses.

"So much that it's sickening." The nameless rogue shook his head. "He bet 5000 ryō (roughly 500 dollars) on 1 to 2000 odds, so he ended up with ten million ryō. What the hell is a brat like that going to do with so much cash?"

"I can see it now! A pool! Filled with ramen!" The boy squealed with girlish eyes and surrounded by sparkles. "Every day will be a new flavor!"

Kakuzu shook his head. "Idiot. He's going to be jumped before he leaves the building…"

The heart stealer began to walk away with the rest of the jealous crowd members, irritated by the brat's lucky guess when something caught his ear.

"Sir, would you like to place more bets for the senior division?" Asked the bank teller, somewhat reluctant to have to talk to the unstable boy.

Naruto calmed down a bit and turned to the teller. "Eh? Oh… yeah sure. Just hold on for a sec…" The boy crossed his fingers and two clones popped into existence next to him. "You guys take care of the money…" The original grabbed a stack of bills that apparently was equal to 100 thousand ryō.

 _'Shadow clones?'_ Kakuzu frowned. ' _That's a pretty high level move for a brat that age, and he doesn't even look winded… maybe there's more to him than I thought…'_ Maneuvering himself so that he was just within hearing distance of the boy, the man focused on the boy's bets.

"So… bets, bets, bets…" The boy mused to himself as he unraveled the money and organized them into neat piles. "This one is harder. Last time I just put my money on the last fight, but I can't be too sure about things this time. There are a lot of strong guys in this one. Hmmm." He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. "Well, for the first fight… I'm going to say… that guy Kurotetsu is going to win…" He put down 20 thousand for the teller. "… and the second one is Scabbard Ōgakari." He gave the teller 40 thousand that time. "Third match…" He tilted his head. "That's a tough one… but I'm going to be reckless and bet on Zabuza. That girl Tenten used his sword in that last fight and I think it might win him the fight, even if his opponent is Kisame Hoshigaki. Man, I've heard some nasty things about that guy…"

Kakuzu snorted. ' _Nasty doesn't come close, kid. At least I try to end the lives of my targets in a reasonable amount of time instead of taking them apart piece by piece. It's too bad that money is going on the wrong name…'_

"And the last fight?" Naruto mused with his last 20 thousand. "I'm going to put it on that Bee Killer guy. He just looks so completely stupid that he's got to have some game breaking moves."

 _'Is this kid serious? How foolish can he be? It's a miracle he's been a shinobi and alive for that long…'_ The heart stealer shook his head.

"As for the second round…" The boy crossed his arms in deep thought. "Well… I'm not certain about the second round of the semifinals, but for the first round, all the winning of the first two bets will go to Scabbard Ōgakari, hands down…" He paused. "… and then right afterwards he'll probably just drop from the tournament."

Kakuzu and the teller blinked at the child's statement. "Oh?" The woman asked curiously. "Why's that?"

The blonde shrugged. "He's my Sensei's brother. I know how he thinks… sort of… well… better than most people, at least. In reality, I don't think anyone truly understands them… anyone sane, at least."

The woman shook her head. "Right… so your winnings for the first round will go to Scabbard Ōgakari winning his semifinal match… and then dropping right afterwards, not even setting foot onto the arena grounds for the final round… correct?"

The boy nodded. "Yep! As for the other match… I'll just leave them alone. So what are my odds, ma'am?"

The woman shook her head as she looked at a very basic looking screen and did some calculations. "… well… all together, your odds of getting all your calls right are roughly the same as your last bet, 1 to 2000, so if you call correctly, your winnings will be 20 million ryō. If any of your bets for the first half of the fights are incorrect, however, since you put money on a match that didn't exist, all your wagers would go to us. For your second half bets, if Bee wins but Zabuza loses, your winnings will be 15 million ryō, 18 million if the other way around, and 8 million if both lose. Mind you, your call that Scabbard Ōgakari will immediately drop out of the tournament after being declared of his semifinal match would have to stay in order for you to win anything. Is that satisfactory, sir?"

The blonde whiskered boy nodded. "Yeah! I mean, even if I don't win anything, I still got enough left over to have a ramen pool. The real hard part is hiding it from the hag before it's finished…" He put on a pouting expression. "Damn old bat always getting in the way of my awesome ideas…"

Kakuzu shook his head and turned to walk to another teller to get his money. The brat must have easily gotten lucky with that last one. Kisame losing to Zabuza? Some guy getting to the finals and then dropping it before he even sets foot on stage? Stupid…

"And this bet will be made to Naruto Uzumaki, correct?" The woman asked, halting Kakuzu in his tracks.

 _'Uzumaki? Now there's a name I haven't heard of in a while…probably the reason why he can use the shadow clone technique without killing himself…'_ He frowned as he got one last look at the boy. ' _Wouldn't have guessed that with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Then there those whisker marks on… his… cheeks…!'_ The man's eyes widened as the boy shunshined away in a cloud of smoke after grabbing his betting receipt from the teller and a scroll filled with the money his clones had packed while he was making more bets.

The boy had whisker marks, exactly the same as the ones Ginkaku and Kinkaku of Kumo did all those years ago. Plus, his use of shadow clones reminded him of Kisame's ranting not even half a year before hand about his failed mission and trying to make up excuses for paying for two new sets of robes. He could still be wrong, but the odds were very likely…

The Kyūbi jinchūriki was in Iron.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Waltz sighed as he walked down the main street of Konoha. It was a beautiful day. The birds were singing, people were walking around doing their business without a care in the world…

And he was carrying both a month's worth of groceries over one shoulder and a severely maimed Shadow over the other while he himself was smoldering from being set on fire several times within the past 30 minutes.

He shook his head. It was ironic that, even though all the males in his family were the ones with actual fire based powers, Shadow was the one who used combustion based techniques the most out of all of them… though truth be told, it was almost always on them (him), but the fact remained unchanged.

The old man temporarily kicked his massive leg back to hit Shadow's body as she had once again, consciously or unconsciously, attempted to set him aflame with whatever new concoction she had made this time.

"Old man!" A young voice snapped the immortal out of his musings to see young Hanabi running up to him followed by her escort.

"Ah, Hanabi. I have not seen you for some time." He smiled gently and crouched down so that he was only large instead of absolutely massive. "How are you?"

"I'm good!" She smiled before blinking curiously. "What happened to you? You look all burnt and…" She looked at who he was carrying. "Ooooh. Shadow-san was having fun setting you on fire, wasn't she?"

"… Still… am…" Grunted a female voice from the other side of Waltz' figure, only to twitch as a floating ball of water shot out from his robes and slammed into the girl's back where her kidneys were. "Damn it… Waltz!"

"I'm honestly surprised it took her this long before she started up again." The old man's head sagged comically while the ball continued to pummel the woman over his shoulder relentlessly. "So how are your studies in the academy going, young one?"

The girl crossed her arms and grinned proudly. "I am the first in my class in almost all subjects. As expected of a Hyūga…"

"Indeed. All that training that you had undergone before many of your classmates even began learning how to become ninja must certainly have paid off." Waltz nodded.

"Ōgakari-sama. While my clan does owe yours an unpayable debt, please refrain from making such comments in public…" The escort frowned.

Hanabi looked curiously at Waltz. "Wait… what do you mean by that, old man? Konohamaru and his friends as well as some other clan members are in my class as well…"

Waltz nodded. "Indeed, that is the case. However, you must remember, Hanabi, that since you are Hiashi-sama's daughter, you have been trained extensively, long before many other of your classmates would have started to train. Plus, the early classes focus on basic taijutsu, chakra control, and behavior. These are all things that Hyūga are taught extremely early… so to be frank, you just had a head start on your friends."

Hanabi frowned and crossed her arms. "So? I doubt that Konohamaru would have been as good as me even if he had a head start. He's too impatient and doesn't even pay attention in class…"

Waltz chuckled and grinned. "True… but let me ask you this, young one: Out of all your classmates… who do you think would give you the most trouble in a real fight?"

The girl frowned as she thought of the Aburame and Inuzuka in her class. Both were all right in spars, but they didn't last that long against her. Most of the other girls in the class were really just crybabies… same with some of the boys. "Konohamaru…" She said without giving the boy a second guess. "His form stinks as well as his control, but some of his plans are just so random that they can catch anyone off guard…"

"Including other ninja, perhaps?" Waltz raised an eyebrow, showing that she was proving his point. "Hanabi… one moment…" He paused to slam his massive fist into Shadow's tail bone, causing the woman to seize up. Many people paying attention to the sight winced and reached down to massage said body part. "As I was saying, even though you may have the best grades in class… they will only help serve as basic foundations for later on in your shinobi career. There are some things they do not teach you there that some of your friends are naturally good at that can more often than not be more influential in their fights than any of your classes were. This can be proven by just about anyone, civilian born or clan born." He straightened up. "Look for the classmates who seem to work the hardest or see things differently than others, Hanabi. Those are often the ones who will go farther in life than others. Geniuses are a dime a dozen, but it's the people who work hard and see things differently that make things happen."

The girl nodded, understanding the old man's words of wisdom. "Are you a genius, old man?"

Waltz laughed. "Me? Haha. No child. Scabbard and, believe it or not, Shadow here…" The water ball slammed into her side rather harshly at that statement. "… Are the only geniuses in my family. The rest of us are just hard workers… or insane… or both. It occasionally changes with us…"

"We noticed…" The escort Hyūga sighed.

Waltz nodded. "I'd be more concerned if you hadn't." He turned back to Hanabi. "Well then, I guess my final say is that you can't get strong unless you work hard, Hanabi, but you must also recognize those who also work hard. Otherwise, you will underestimate their abilities when the time matters most and it could cost you dearly…"

Hanabi nodded. "Yeah! But…" She crossed her arms. "… If what you said is true, doesn't that mean that I am working hard in places that everyone pretty much knows everything about already? Konohamaru is an idiot a lot of the time, but he works hard at trying to find ways to trick people and tries new things… so wouldn't that mean that he's already a better ninja than I am?"

Waltz and the escort blinked for a moment before the elder began laughing. "Ah. A very good question, young one…" Chuckled the old man. "A very good question indeed." He pat her on the head. "I could go on for a very long time answering that question, but that would most likely cause you to ask even more questions, and I believe you are expected to be home soon and I don't wish to worry your father. We'll continue this later. I myself have to get back home and put away our supplies before they go bad or…" The man paused as a good portion of his hair was set aflame almost instantly for almost no reason. "… Shadow burns it all…" He grunted as three more balls of water shot out of his robes. Two immediately went to work killing the flames and the last one joined the first in maiming the cackling woman on his shoulder. "Well then… I'll be off. It would be unsightly for me to keep you within a dangerous area for the time being." He sighed and wept as his long hair frizzed up from being set on fire. "Until next time, young one…"

The envoy shook her head and guided Hanabi in another direction. "Come, Hanabi-sama. We still have much work to do before we go home. You can contemplate Ōgakari-sama's advice in the meantime, and…"

"GOD DAMN IT, SHADOW! CAN I AT LEAST WALK 10 STEPS WITHOUT BECOMING THE HUMAN TORCH?" Waltz's voice roared, causing the two Hyūga to turn to see Waltz now completely on fire. Since they were looking at his back this time, the two Hyūga could clearly see Shadow grinning evilly with a vial in one hand and a cigarette lighter in the other, not at all bothered by the fact that she was also in the middle of the inferno.

"Heheheh. Waltz is flammable…" The woman giggled insanely. "Burn, old man, burn… the smell of your smoldering carcass pleases me… also, after a certain point, you start to smell like bacon…"

"I sense the flames of youth nearby!" Gai shouted as he appeared nearby as if he was hunting for a lost treasure or for the meaning of life. "What a wonderful day!"

"FOR THE LAST TIME GAI, THESE ARE JUST NORMAL FLAMES! WHAT PART OF ME LOOKS LIKE I HAVE THE FLAMES OF YOUTH? I'M SO OLD THAT HIRUZEN CAN CALL ME OLD MAN, FOR KYŪBI'S SAKE!"

"YOUUUUUUTH!"

Several hungry sounding howls were heard nearby.

"OH, FOR THE LOVE OF… THE WOLVES CAN SMELL ME AGAIN! WHY THE HELL DO I SMELL LIKE BACON WHEN I'M SET ON FIRE? THIS IS WHY I DO NOT SUPPORT THE HUNT!"

"… Try to ignore their latest obscure acts of pure insanity…" The woman sighed, shaking her head and retreating as quickly as possible.

o. o. o.

Back in Iron:

Scabbard smirked as he and the rest of the senior division fighters stood in the middle of the arena. This was partially due to his plan so far going just as planned, partially due to his satisfaction at Sasuke's and Tenten's progress in their training even if they were still out cold at the moment…

… But mostly because he had once again foiled Kurotetsu's half-assed plans when he got to Tenten's Zangetsu, which was still stabbed into the middle of the ground at the end of the fight, before the man. Honestly, pretending to be getting the sword back to the girl simply did not fly when the speaker was known to be a weapon thief. What an idiot.

"So without further waiting, I will now announce the beginning of the senior matches!" Mifune concluded his speech, getting a large applause. No doubt the spectators were eager to see how the more experienced fighters there would top the final match of the junior division. "Will all the participants other than Aoshi Watanabe and Kurotetsu Yoshimaru please leave the grounds?"

"Heh…" Kisame grinned as he walked near Zabuza and Scabbard. "Time's getting close, eh little Zabuza? I'm getting anxious at the thought at shaving you to death in front of everyone here. You're not going to get cold feet, are you?"

"Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing, Kisame." Zabuza smirked. "After all, I have the advantage this time…"

Kisame rose an eyebrow. "Oh? Do tell."

Zabuza snorted. "Figure it out for yourself. You're a big boy now. I'm fairly certain you can solve this mystery without Itachi holding your hand."

The blue man frowned. "Oh, I'm going to enjoy our fight when it comes…"

The demon jumped on that opening. "You mean my filleting your finned ass? I knew it. You _are_ a masochist."

"Careful, you're channeling a bit too much of my family there…" Scabbard droned.

"And whose fault is that?" Grunted Zabuza.

Darui sighed and shook his head as he watched the two ex-Kiri shinobi glare at one another. "Man… this is so dull. I just wish my fight came so I can get it over with…"

"Be it god killers or shark fins, everyone knows the Bee is gonna win! Damn straight!" Bee bounced around, clearly not at all phased by the tense atmosphere going around.

"It's shark skin (Samehada), Bee. Get the name right at least." Darui rolled his eyes.

As soon as the elder fighters got to the box, Kurotetsu and Aoshi took their positions. Aoshi taking a standard blade drawing stance and Kurotetsu… crossing his arms and looking like the overconfident ass that he is. "You should be grateful to fight and lose to someone as great as myself." The handsome man gloated, getting many squeals in the audience where his fan base was located.

Zabuza noticed Scabbard twitch. "It's like a million nails on a chalkboard echoing in a cave to hell…" The green haired man grunted. "A hell with FANGIRLS…"

"I would appreciate it if you took this fight seriously, Yoshimaru-san." The samurai grunted. "This is a competition where we fight with our blades, not our egos."

"He's definitely winning the fight of wits, though." Zabuza smirked. "Though concerning who it is we're talking about, it isn't that hard."

"Are both fighters ready?" The judge asked in an authoritative tone.

"Just waiting for the signal." Aoshi breathed out.

Kurotetsu snorted before grabbing a large red long sword from his back in one hand, swinging it easily. "I don't have all day."

 _'We were waiting for you…'_ Mentally grunted the judge before he stepped back. "Match 1 of the senior division! Kurotetsu vs. Aoshi! Begin!"

The two competitors did not waste any time as they shot towards one another with high speed and clashed their blades together. Aoshi with two swords and Kurotetsu with his single red one, all three weapons glowing with their respective chakras flowing through them. Less than a second later, the blades were dancing through the air again at speeds that normal people would never be able to follow, countering, parrying, attacking, weaving…

"Hoh?" Zabuza mused. "I knew that he would have some skills since he was a borderline S-rank, but I just assumed that was because he made a ton of enemies and stole a lot of valuables. He isn't half bad."

"You are doing well… keeping up with me so far…" Kurotetsu grinned at the samurai as his attack was deflected, but he quickly regained control and pressed onward. "You might even be a good warmup…"

Aoshi didn't say anything as he suddenly blurred from view, catching his opponent off guard and rushing past him so fast that even the more experienced fighters had trouble keeping up. "You were saying?" The muffled voice chuckled.

"Damn it…" Kurotetsu grunted as he took note of the decent sized gash on his right side. "I was playing too much…"

"Anyone could tell that." Aoshi stated as he took another stance. "You rely too much on those swords you have stolen. You have some skill, but that is not enough. You have no hold here, weakling…"

"Weakling?" Kurotetsu growled as his hold on his sword tightened. "I'll show you a weakling!" He roared as he turned and swung down, causing a massive plume of fire to erupt from the blade he was holding.

The samurai didn't seem to panic as he grabbed onto another one of the many swords on his person and drew it quickly as he swung his other sword almost instantly in response. A bright flash of red light blinded everyone there as the fire engulfed the area, accompanied by a blast of heated air.

"Well, at least they aren't slow to warm up…" Kiba grunted as he shielded himself from the small amount of dust.

Within seconds though, the pyre of flames was blown out by a blue shockwave coming from its center, revealing Aoshi completely unharmed and now with two of his 8 swords in hand. "Is that all?" He asked in the same muffled voice and cocking his head.

The samurai was somewhat disappointed when his opponent began to laugh. "Of course, of course! I should have known that the only samurai to make it to the finals would be at such a level! How careless of me!" He placed the sword on his back again and flipped through several seals. "Please allow me to show my most sincere regrets by letting me use some of my real abilities to finish you!" He his hands onto the ground. "Metal style! Storm of Swords!"

"A bloodline user?" Darui frowned. The man had definitely solidified his position as a real threat as the ground began to rumble.

Within moments, thousands of giant chunks of metal, all in the shape of standard long swords, shot out of the ground and danced in air as if they were a part of the wind, reflecting the countless sources of light in the cave before the stream of sharp instruments barreled down on the samurai.

"Interesting technique…" The masked sword user grunted as two more swords unsheathed themselves without any aid from the user's body. "However, it still fails to stand up to mine…"

Ino's eyes widened as she noticed an image appearing behind the user. "No way… it can't be…" She gasped.

Before anyone could ask her what she saw, the flying swords converged onto the samurai… only for the stream to be blasted away by several massive shockwaves of chakra. The audience was shocked and Kurotetsu was too, though to a much smaller degree. When the dust cleared, the samurai was standing with a sword in each hand… and two more being held by a significantly larger image behind him of a woman with at least a hundred arms. "Unforgiving Approach… Thousand Bladed Murder…" The samurai chuckled.

"That's just like Asuma-sensei's technique." Ino gasped. "The one he said he learned while with his monk friend while with the 12 Guardian Ninja. How does he know that move? Only monks of the Fire Temple or people close to them can learn how to use it…"

"This day just keeps on getting better and better…" Zabuza moaned, knowing that the report for this mission was going to take forever to finish.

"You're telling me…" Darui wept. "Paperwork, right?"

"Ugh… one of the few things I actually miss about being a missing-nin…" The assassin sighed as he glanced at the samurai again. ' _The Blue Ashura, huh? One of the few samurai that made it into the black book. Guy has virtually no information about him other than the bounty. No name, A-ranked, the only thing to identify the guy was the number of swords he has on him and that technique. Gotta say, that's one hell of a move he has… didn't actually expect a samurai of that rep to be in this competition as well…'_

"So you have some different moves after all…" Kurotetsu grunted. "At least it's good to know that not all you samurai are all cookie cutters with the exception of some different skills."

"Look who's talking." Aoshi replied. "You dropped out of being a samurai because you couldn't handle our rules, then you ran away from the small village that took you in because they didn't meet your expectations. Even if I was just like the others, at least I didn't run away… coward."

The bleeding man growled as he brushed his hand against his bleeding side. "You will regret saying that to someone as great as myself, weakling. I was planning to use this for a more interesting battle, but right now, I want nothing more than to silence you for good…" The man quickly flipped through several seals despite the fact that Aoshi had launched several more blasts of chakra at him. "Summoning!" He yelled as the blasts converged on him, kicking up dust and stone alike.

"That should be a direct hit…" Zabuza mused. "But I don't think that we're that lucky…"

Before the dust settled, several dozen blurred missiles shot out of the dust at the samurai, who swiftly swatted them all aside with his and his projections swords. However, judging from the sounds they made, the power behind the attacks was surprisingly high. Just when the watchers of the fight managed to see where the projectiles had landed, the long figures disappeared in a cloud of smoke. This of course prompted them to look at the one who had used them in the first place, and as such, many jaws dropped.

Kurotetsu was standing with his arms crossed and smirking, completely unharmed from the last attack. Behind him, seemingly punching halfway through the bounds of time and space, were hundreds of swords. Most of them looked near identical to one another as the standard long sword or katana that were just used in the man's previous attack, but there were a good number that stood out significantly with their different colors, shapes, and designs. The red sword that had been used was there, alongside the 7 Swordsmen blades that he had managed to collect as well. "Feel honored. This is one of my greatest techniques. The Armory of Shadows." Kurotetsu grinned. "Who would have thought that scrounging around that wasted dump of a village in Whirlpool would have landed me such an amazing ability…" (A/N: Think Gilgamesh's Gates of Babylon, only there are more common weapons than special ones.)

o. o. o.

Naruto's throat seized. He had honestly forgotten about where his family had originated from since it didn't seem so important at the time… however, now…

o. o. o.

Itachi remained quiet. He did not do so due to the fact that he was normally like that… it was because if he spoke… the red headed woman next to him would probably do something that he would prefer not to go through…

o. o. o.

The thief grinned. "Don't think that I'll run out of ammo soon. Everything fired from here is immediately summoned back in the condition they were in before they were launched, so no matter how many you destroy or how many you avoid, there will always be more…" He snorted as he saw Aoshi's conjured image draw the remaining 4 weapons he had on him. "Please. I know about the monks of Fire country and about moves such as yours. You are unable to move while that technique of yours is up, plus you can at best use 6 arms of that technique since that is how many swords it can use. The moment you try to turn it off to change your location, you not only lose more than half of your swords, but you lose your only method of defending against my attacks as well."

"The same could be said for you, coward." Aoshi grunted as all the swords in use flared with chakra. "Unless you stay exactly where you are, that pathetic collection of yours won't be able to protect you. You are no sword master. You're just a thief that thinks that since he has a decent number of weapons and a bloodline, he can pass as one."

"So the only way to see who will win is to see who is stronger or lasts longer…" Kurotetsu shrugged. "Fine by ME!"

On that declaration, the two fighters unleashed all hell upon one another. Aoshi with his lightning fast and incredibly powerful chakra slashes, and Kurotetsu with his constantly replenishing arsenal of common and legendary swords. The arena echoed immensely with the sounds of shattering metal and colossal explosions. The amount of chakra being exerted by both of them was impressive to say the least, however it soon became apparent that Aoshi's chakra blasts were gaining ground as the clashes approached Kurotetsu.

 _'Just… a little… more…'_ Aoshi mentally grunted as his attacks intensified…

"Don't believe one second that you can defeat me, you nobody!" Kurotetsu roared as he flew through several seals and slammed his hands on the ground, causing more swords to shoot out of the ground and add to his already devastating attack. Soon enough, the clashes were approaching an exhausted Aoshi. Unfortunately for the samurai, Kurotetsu was not finished yet as he grabbed the red broadsword and a blue green twin from his back. "It's over!" He roared as he swung both blades, launching a massive flame from the red sword and a large gust of wind from the other. The combined attacks magnified one another and joined the flying swords to become an unstoppable force that barreled down upon the pinned down Aoshi. In an instant, the samurai disappeared into the inferno as it continued across the arena until it collided with the wall on the other side with a massive explosion.

Kurotetsu panted lightly as he straightened up and the floating swords behind him sunk back into wherever they were stored. "Tch. Annoying bug." He spat out, looking at his bleeding side. "I had to show more of my skills than I expected to." He glanced at Aoshi and blinked. "Ah, you have got to be shitting me…" Collapsed, burned and covered in all but destroyed armor, a fair looking woman with shoulder length bloody grey hair laid unconscious. "I was having that much trouble with a fucking woman?" He swore disbelievingly before shaking his head. "And here I thought ninja were the sneaky ones… at least she's attractive looking." He smirked though as he looked up and saw that the crowd's eyes were either on him or his defeated opponent. "This is what is going to happen to everyone I fight today!" He shouted. "I will go undefeated! I will win this tournament! I am..."

His speech however was interrupted as an unexpected sound reached his ears. It was not the sound of booing, cheering, praise, demeaning, combat, or anything of the like…

It was the sound of hysterical laughter. The kind of laughter one would only hear or let out if they were on the brink of insanity or found something impossibly amusing. It was a sound that did not belong right after he won his first fight.

Glaring and turning to the direction the annoying noise was coming from, the man promised himself that he would make the offender suffer. It took him the whole of 3 seconds to find the perpetrator.

He did not know why the Demon of the Bloody Mist or those two Kumo shinobi were so nervous at the sight… but he did not care either, as the self-proclaimed Shadow of Blades glared at Scabbard Ōgakari… who was laughing uncontrollably at him with no restraint what so ever…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Can you hear that? It's the epic. It's not going away any time soon. In fact… there may just even be more… all fear the epic… for it is epic…

So a while back I got an email asking on how I do that whole… Holy class, base class thing. The following is pretty much a copy of the email I sent out, and I forgot to add it into my notes so people could see that there was some logic behind my madness way back:

_The ranking system I use? Ah, I had completely forgotten to explain that._

_Okay. there are basically 2 general systems. One for actual gods (which include devils and similar entities), and one for beings (pretty much everything else)._

_The god system is fairly simple. You have gods, and then you have elder gods. Gods are just that, gods. They manage the various worlds in the universe and have almost complete say in their domain (Which can be a world, or an element, or something arbitrarily vague like fate or a group of people), but are much more restricted when not in their domain. Their power comes from their ability to freely manipulate the fabrics of time and space, however there are limitations due to the complexity of the space time continuum. Elder Gods on the other hand are much more rare and have almost no restraints in where their powers reach and are capable of creating worlds/dimensions/alternate realities/galaxies on a whim, however their power is not infinite and also have a range of what they can or can't do due to the restraints of time space. They are still scary and strong as fuck though._

_It should be noted that there is no such thing as a "god of everything". The multiverse is too complicated for a single entity to have control over so many things. However that does not mean that something of that level doesn't exist though..._

_Beings on the other hand, like animals, humans, angels, demons, etc, have a system of their own, which is organized by class and rank._

_Each class is split into ranks to better sort powers out. The 4 main classes from weakest to strongest are Base class, Upper class, Holy class and God class. God classes are given this title because they are supposedly on the same rank of power as actual Gods, however some Holy classes are arguably just as strong. Base classes are pretty much the natural wildlife order of the world._

_The ranks follow the simple F-S system, and is easy to follow._

_A normal Human adult is easily E-D ranked base class, C if they train their lives via standard methods and are extremely talented. B and above can be considered superhuman by our world's system._

_To put things into perspective, if an individual had fire based powers, a base class A ranked version would be able to create a fireball that could oh say, torch a small group of people to death with a single fireball. An Upper Class version would be able to at lower ranks take out a fairly small building in a blast, while at higher ranks be able to easily wipe out several at once or if they are really good, take down a skyscraper with a good shot. Holy classes are where things get messy, as even a low ranked one can easily take out a moderately sized village in a single move. High ranking ones can cause damage akin to natural disasters with uncanny ease._

_God class beings are monsters in their own right. When they get busy, the whole world they are on knows it. Low ranked ones have the ability to potentially destroy the world if they try hard enough, and high ranked ones don't have to even try to get that kind of result. Many are easily capable of disrupting the fabric of time and space even when their powers aren't related to it simply because of all the energy they possess._

_On a side note, the True God class is only granted to beings who are recognized as being on par with Elder gods due to their power and their uncanny ability to in some way weave the fabric of time and space in ways similar to an actual god, which means that they have somehow managed to become more dangerous than a S ranked God class being. There are only 3 God class beings to exist at the moment. 2 are traveling with the Sky Mother, AKA the Elder Goddess/Demon/Dragon/Thing Zuzushi, and the last is sealed away for trying to usurp the natural timespace order... role… thing…_

Yeah, even in my explanations, I get long winded. To be honest, I have a very good, logical, and easy to understand design and explanation of how parallel dimensions work and how they interact with the time space continuum, but I don't want to bother typing it out this time.

Soooooo… college blah, job hunting blah, couldn't go to PAX east blah. Oh yeah. I'm not going, but my sister is going to Anime Boston and stuff. She looks like a standard fangirl but let me explain how insane she really is: She's one of the 3 main people in charge of Tech (stage crew), she's ranked 12th in state for epee category fencing, she plays the bass clarinet and is very good at it, tutors, is close to fluent in mandarin, and is president of the high school's anime club.

Do not underestimate this one's capabilities. She is able to end you. Do not let that smile fool you or she will steal your soul… if you still have it, at least. Not a real high chance of that if you go to a con, but still… beware!

So Review! Worship the Log! Gorge yourself on the epicness-ness-ness that I am giving out to all you faithful readers, and REVIEW AGAIN!


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 64: Ever go through one of those days where you're just walking down the street alone and you let your mind wander? Think of funny things until you come across something that is completely hilarious or awesome and can't help but laugh and smile for a good 20 minutes… only to realize that people are staring at you because you look like a complete idiot/ psycho? Yeah… I have way too many of those.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OC's and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

_He woke up feeling like crap, which was to be expected considering he had just been in one of the most strenuous fights he had been in a very long time. Not moving at all, he made a damage assessment of his body. Countless slashes across his body and limbs, multiple gaping holes on both sides of his body, shards of metal, wood, plastic, and other unidentifiable substances embedded into his skin all over… it was a medical miracle by most standards that he was even conscious with the amount of blood he had lost and was still losing…_

" _I'm surprised you're awake so quickly…"A familiar voice almost snorted from a short distance away._

" _You make it sound like I want to be…" The injured man sarcastically replied in a dry voice, noting the pain that his body was sending to his mind. "… You won…"_

_The two remained quiet for several moments. "… Why didn't you use it?"_

" _Come again?"_

" _That sword of yours… Schrödinger." The second voice grunted irritably. "The blade that shouldn't exist. The weapon only you can use. Instead of trying to match me blade for blade, you could have won from the beginning with ease if you had just made that sword… or used more of your power… or made more than just swords… or used any other option that is available to you. You know that even though I can copy it, there is no way I could hold or be near that weapon without dying… so why didn't you use it?"_

_The loser laughed dryly. "Why should I? I fought to test my forging abilities, not to win. Neither of us really fights with pride… only with goals." He winced. "Pride is like money. Its value changes constantly… yet there are still idiots who do just about anything they can to grab as much as they can, even when it's worth shit. I fought to find out something, and by losing I learned. No more… no less. I… have little to no respect for those who don't know the true value of pride…" He let out a dry snort. "Besides, I thought you were that over that whole dying thing after we fixed that reincarnation cycle you were stuck in… I wanted to fight you, not destroy you. Arguing that deal with the spirit of your version of the earth wasn't an easy endeavor to do, you know…"_

_The winner let out a good laugh. "Funny, it wasn't that hard to set up that first deal when I was about to die the first time… too bad your problem isn't that easy to solve…"_

" _If only…" The loser snorted only to wince in pain._

" _Hey… you can remake my technique if you want." The winner sighed. "It's not really like I have anything to repay you with after all… Mr. Soldierless War…"_

" _Please… after this fight, I have half a mind to give that title to you…" Grinned the loser. "But… your technique… thanks. I always did have problems replicating the souls of weapons…"_

" _Yeah… no problem…" The winner sighed. There was another quiet pause before the loser began to chuckle again. "You're laughing more than normal… did I beat you that badly?"_

"… _I'm just thinking… it would be amusing if, after I finally completed your technique, I'd come across some idiot like Gilgamesh…" Laughed the loser._

_The winner paused before sporting a sarcastic grin of his own. "Heh… hahahahaha! A maker using a faker's technique to fight an owner! Hahahahaha!"_

_And that is how the day ended for the two men, beaten and exhausted, and laughing their hearts out… alone in the middle of a sea of broken metal and barren earth and countless weapons…_

… _all by themselves… on the hill of swords…_

o. o. o.

Iron:

"Oi… is he all right?" Darui asked Zabuza skeptically as the short green haired man continued to laugh without restraint.

"Normally… I'd make some kind of sarcastic remark… but right now, I'm too scared to do so." Zabuza shivered. "I've known this man for close to a year now… but I've never seen him laugh more than a brief chuckle, and even that was rare. This? … I have half a mind to tell you to drop out right now and run back to Kumo as fast as you fucking can. I've said it before, but just to drive the point home, this guy's clan is bat shit insane, both in personality and in their powers. If this one in particular is going nuts… then someone is most likely going to die or get maimed soon…"

"Oi commoner! You have some nerve interrupting my speech like that!" Kurotetsu grunted, glaring at the laughing man… who did nothing but continue to laugh. "You annoying ant… stop LAUGHING!" He yelled as he threw a sword from his arsenal at the man.

The blade's path was straight and true… which is why it missed, as Scabbard collapsed onto the ground during flight and avoided the attack completely and still laughing.

The problem with accurate shots is that it's incredibly easy to predict where they're going to go…

"Kurotetsu!" Roared the proctor. "You are to restrain yourself from attacking those who are not involved in your match! This is a warning! The next time you blatantly disregard the rules, you WILL be disqualified!"

The tall man clicked his teeth irritably and looked away. The transparent barrier behind him withdrew the weapons it held before fading away. "Fine. I'm just pissed that the fool ruined my moment. Call the match already."

There was a long pause before the samurai nodded. "Winner! Kurotetsu!"

o. o. o.

"This is getting ridiculous, Mifune-sama…" Whispered one of the advisors to the general. "Even though that man's ninjutsu produces swords, there is a limit on how much we can push the rules! At this rate our honor will be at stake, since the only samurai in the finals was defeated so soundly!"

The wrapped man quietly closed his eyes and thought carefully about the situation. He glanced at the remaining participants, what had transpired in the past few days, and the potential consequences for his actions if he made the wrong decision. "… We will allow it… for now…" He stated, looking at the man with green hair as he calmed down slowly. "Despite the dishonor for allowing him to continue, there is much we can gain from allowing him to … and I have reason to believe that young Kurotetsu will not be the one to win today's event…"

o. o. o.

Kurotetsu snorted as he walked back to the fighter's box to get his cut treated and walked past a still giggling Scabbard. "Humph. At least I get to watch you get destroyed by someone who can actually fight…" He sneered and walked away… missing the shorter man look up to show those that were looking his slit glowing eyes and elongated canines just before they slowly returned to normal.

"I reinforce my statement to run and raise you screaming like a little girl." Zabuza shivered, knowing for a fact that the Ōgakari don't change like that unless they're VERY excited about killing or maiming something… which is why Crypt's teeth are always in vampire mode.

Darui shook his head. "Not going to happen. Even if I did that, the Raikage would probably just kill me the second he heard about it."

"I'm gonna say it, 'cause it's not just me… green hair is damn scary…" Bee shivered.

"Hey, what did we miss?" Asked a voice from inside, prompting the non-laughing men to turn to see Sasuke and Tenten being pushed in on wheelchairs and covered in bandages. Next to them were the finally recovered Karui and Atsui. "Who's laughing just now?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"Heheh… nothing… just an interesting fight…" Sniggered Scabbard as he stood back up. "Hey Darui… I think it would be best if you skipped the warming up part during our fight… I'm getting a bit anxious for the second round…" A crack of lightning surrounded him. "Sorry… but I have some trouble holding back whenever I get like this… having absurd amounts of chakra can do that to a person…"

"Will Scabbard of Konoha and Darui of Kumo please come to begin your match?" The proctor shouted, grabbing everyone's attention.

 _'Oi oi… this is just like Raikage-sama when someone pisses him off…'_ Darui mentally moaned as the two walked to the middle of the arena and noticed his opponent occasionally giving off large arcs of dark green lightning. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Ahh… I never thought that it would actually happen…" Sighed Scabbard as he let out a long breath to calm himself down. "I was wondering when I'd get something back from all those favors I did for the fates… just because Ghost pisses them off all the damn time doesn't mean the rest of us have to suffer…"

o. o. o.

"Hey, it's Sensei's turn." Kiba grinned. "And he's up against a guy from Kumo… heh. He doesn't look so tough…"

"He made it to the finals, Kiba. That should be a big enough sign that he's strong." Neji frowned. "… Still… what can Scabbard do other than lightning manipulation? Other than his monstrous reserves, his intelligence, his element, and that peculiar metal he has in his body, we don't really know much about his powers…"

"Ghost is a wind affinity master that has some kind of time-space technique, is really fast, and is an assassination specialist." Kin counted off on her fingers. "Crypt has some kind of blood jutsu and is a seal master and has that creepy ass scythe. The old man is a ripped monster that's also a great medic, and has amazing water jutsu… and Shadow has shadow powers, can transform parts of herself into a dragon, and has a dragon sealed in her. Scabbard… well… yeah... I got nothing…"

"Tenten seems to praise his weapons frequently." Lee commented. "However, other than taking out different weapons to fight with, I do not see how it will aid him in this match…"

"Well, we'll probably find out soon enough." Ino mused.

o. o. o.

"Hey, Darui… I propose we make a small deal for this fight…" Scabbard mused as he and his dark skinned opponent got into position.

"Against my better judgment… I'll listen to it…" Darui sighed as he took out the sword off of his back, flicking it so that the blade locked into place in the process.

"It's fairly simple…" Scabbard shrugged. "I'll tell you about the power I'll use for our fight… "His eyes flashed. "… and in exchange, you use that black lightning I've heard so much about in our fight… I'm quite interested in seeing its potency…"

 _'Black lightning?'_ The judge mentally asked, somewhat nervous at this new development.

Darui frowned. Knowledge about the powers he inherited from the Third Raikage was supposed to be restricted inside his own village. True, A's and Bee's father wasn't exactly a model leader, and his abilities were fairly well known after the Third Shinobi War, but still no one was supposed to know that he received the secrets of black lightning… it seemed as if his boss' suspicions were correct. "You wouldn't happen to add in how you found out about my lightning, would you?"

The green haired man shook his head. "Sorry, anonymity of sources is standard procedure."

"I figured." The blonde man grunted. "Fine… so long as you don't laugh like you did a few minutes ago…"

The immortal blinked owlishly several timed before smirking. "Sorry… however, I assure you that the odds of that happening again anytime soon are miniscule at best…" He slowly raised his empty hands in front of him and channeled his energy in front of them. Soon enough, lightning crackled in his palms, rapidly intersecting from a focal point. Within moments, an object could be seen materializing in each hand… elongating and taking form and color… and in less than 10 seconds, the man was holding Kanshō and Bakuya, much to the shock of people watching him.

"Using experience and knowledge about molecular physics, I can use my elemental chakra to manipulate molecules around me and perform a variation of alchemy to make almost anything I want so long as I know what it's made of and how it works. I am proficient enough in this art to make virtually any weapon I can design in my mind… which is pretty much any weapon I spend more than a second looking at... though the time it takes to make them varies depending on what I'm making. Just to let you know though, I never forget a weapon once I've seen it." He swung the blades casually before they began to glow and crack with electricity again. Slowly, the blades began to lengthen. "In addition to that, due to my experience and skill, I am capable of modifying any weapon in any way I wish to suit my needs…" The glowing blades dimmed down to reveal two incredibly intimidating swords. They maintained their colors, however their lengths had nearly doubled and the backs of each of them had erupted into feather like protrusions that produced some veins towards the significantly sharper looking blades. (Google kanshou bakuya overedge for the image) "This form of these blades in particular is called Crane Wings…" He suddenly had a distant look on his face. "… Actually, I haven't made these variants in a while… this brings up so many interesting memories…"

"That's one hell of a jutsu you have there…" Darui smirked as he glanced at Tenten. "I'm guessing the girl there has the same ability?"

The immortal shook his head. "No. What my student can do is similar to this, but has several key fundamental differences… in some ways, my technique is better than hers, and in others, hers is more efficient than mine…" He laughed sarcastically. "Ironically enough, though… due to the similarities, I am capable of performing the strongest technique available to her… though that's all I can do in that category."

"Are you done?" The judge grunted. "I would like to begin your match, if you don't mind…"

"Yeah… sorry for the wait…" Darui sighed before taking a stance and channeling his chakra, soon surrounding himself with a pillar of black lightning. The black sharp tendrils of energy surrounded the man rapidly and threatened to fry anything that got within a few meters of its host. "I hope you can survive this without getting crippled… it would be a pain to explain to Raikage-sama that I killed the guy we're supposed to be making a deal with…"

"It's fine…" Scabbard shrugged as dark green lightning arced and cracked around his figure just as rapidly, so much so that its intensity seemed to match that of Darui's. "From what I can tell, it's well within my ability of management…"

Darui frowned. ' _This guy is no joke. C was right… he does have massive reserves. He'd have to in order to create this much lightning from just his charka… and he doesn't even seem intimidated at all by my lightning…'_

o. o. o.

The crowd whispered in excitement as the lightning chakra from both fighters could be felt by everyone in the room. It was particularly interesting for people close to the front with long hair, as the energy caused it to stand on end.

Itachi didn't say anything as he assumed that his rather long hair would calm down as soon as the fighting stopped. Glancing to his side, however, he couldn't help but let loose a small smirk.

"Oi, lady in the front! Do something about that fucking hair of yours! You're blocking half of the stadium with that wig!" Some pissed off spectator yelled at Kushina, who in turn turned around and made a fist.

"Who said that?" She roared. "Which one of you numb nuts thinks he has the balls to make fun of my hair, huh? If you have something to say, get your ass down here and say it to my face! Well?" She waited, clearly not deterred by the fact that her hair was standing on end in 9 clumps, giving her a very bizarre look. After a few seconds of silence and scared looks from the people behind her, the woman crossed her arms and nodded. "That's what I thought!"

"You haven't changed a bit…" Itachi mused quietly. "Just like mother always described you…"

"What was that?!" Kushina rounded on Itachi with hellfire in her eyes, only to be met by a disinterested Akatsuki member chewing on a fresh stick of pocky.

o. o. o.

"Black lightning?" Sasuke blinked as he activated his eyes. "I've never heard of such a thing…"

"What the…" Karui gaped. "Why the hell is Darui-senpai using his lightning?"

"Man, this fight's gonna be hot…" Atsui commented. "That green dude looks like he's just as strong as Darui-senpai…"

Kisame grinned as he noticed Samehada reacting to the nearby chakra. "My, my… those two are certainly more than expected… their chakra is practically getting Samehada wet with excitement… this fight should be more interesting than I thought…"

Zabuza mentally smirked. ' _Heh… the guy knows how to put on a show despite not taking the fight seriously…'_ He glanced over to Tenten and saw that she had noticed the same thing he did. ' _The bastard isn't even using the slightest bit of his Presence…'_

o. o. o.

"Hoh? Today's certainly been full of surprises…" Kakuzu mused as he watched the two fighters charged up. "I never expected a user of black lightning to be here…"

"Black lightning? What's so special about its color? It doesn't look special to me. Only use I can see for it is that is scares the shit out of weaklings that don't like the dark…" Hidan moaned.

"Idiot." Kakuzu grunted. "Black lightning was one of the signature trademarks of the Third Raikage. It's a unique form of lightning chakra that has at least 10 times the potency of a normal technique. I've seen moves that use this variant destroy strong shinobi and platoons with ease." He looked down at the arena. "That Kumo shinobi is one of the ones Leader wants us to kill… this mission has become more annoying… and more profitable than I originally anticipated…"

o. o. o.

"In… incredible…" Neji grimaced as he tried to shield his deactivated eyes from the glow of the two men's power and push his hair down. "It's always been near impossible to look at Scabbard-sensei with our eyes activated from up close… but to channel so much chakra that it's hard to look at him with normal eyes is almost inhuman…"

"You're telling me…" Kiba grunted as he covered his and Akamaru's nose, the latter of which was fidgeting to almost frantic levels. "His chakra's strong enough to drive Akamaru and I nuts with the scent from all the way back here."

"Black lightning…" Sai whispered in awe. "I thought that it was a myth…"

"Oi Lee!" Kin frantically whispered with her hands around her own hair. "You think Scabbard opened those gate things like we can do?"

Lee shook his head, shaking a bit himself. "No. His body does not appear to be strained in the slightest… though that only makes me even more shocked. To be able to generate so much chakra naturally without any real effort… is near inhuman…"

o. o. o.

"Scabbard vs. Darui! Fight!" The judge roared above the cracking forces of lightning from a good distance away.

At the signal, the two men rushed forward and swung their blades at one another. The resulting clash created a shockwave of immense proportions that caused all the observers to brace themselves.

Before the dust had even stopped flying, the spectators could hear the sounds of swords crashing upon one another repeatedly followed by according pulses of chakra. It didn't take long for the dirt to clear to see the two men fighting relentlessly with their weapons charged with their lightning. Every time they swung, a stream of residual chakra followed the path of the blades in an ominous arc, accompanied by a hollow sound that sounded like raw power just passing by, making the display even more intimidating.

Darui grunted as the two slashed and danced around one another at a very impressive speed. "I didn't think that there was a person other than Raikage-sama or maybe Konoha's Kakashi who could compose lightning chakra dense enough to stop my black lightning… it's really frustrating actually…" ' _Who am I kidding… this has to be some kind of joke. I can tell even now that the guy isn't even trying that hard to pump out that ridiculous amount of chakra. It's more like he's simply playing with me…'_

Scabbard chuckled as he parried a slash that would have decapitated him before countering with his free hand. "I'm fairly certain you should have noticed something was off the moment you saw that my lightning was green. Off color chakra is often an indication that it has a different potency after all." He leaned to the side to barely avoid another killing blow before attacking, only to miss as Darui jumped back. Looking at his opponent again he analyzed everything in front of him. "I see… using your lighting takes a lot of chakra out of you…" He commented casually noting the small twitches in the black man's muscles and his opening pores. ' _Frequency ranges… amplitude ranges… voltages… currents… distortions… fluxes… density… variations… inputs… outputs… outliers… good, I have all I need now…'_ "Your sword is also unable to handle the strain of channeling so much energy through it for long periods of time. It's already starting to break upon itself…"

"So you noticed already?" Darui snorted, knowing he was in deep. He still had a vast majority of his chakra left since the two have not fought for long, but it was draining out pretty quickly. The main problem was his sword, which was already starting to develop cracks along the blade. His weapon was made of extremely high grade material, but even so, it didn't last long under the sheer pressure that his lightning put on it. It didn't help that many of those cracks originated from gouges in his weapon where it had contacted the edges of his opponent's swords. "You wouldn't mind toning it down a bit? I can still go on for a while, but my sword can't…"

The two jumped back away from one another, still on guard. "Sure… I was about to suggest the same thing, actually… wouldn't want this fight to end that quickly after all… it would irritate your boss, which is bad for trade negotiations." Scabbard replied as the cracking dark green lightning dimmed down until it was reduced to a small glow around his swords. The man and his blades did not seem to be drained or beaten down in the slightest.

"Don't have to tell me twice…" Darui chuckled to himself as his black element receded, and in its place a white glow encompassed his weapon. "I'm guessing you already know what I'm doing already…"

"Your bloodline. The Storm element." Scabbard nodded. "It excels in precision and coordinate based techniques that are extremely maneuverable. It's a bloodline that is supposedly among the more efficient in terms of chakra consumption."

Darui nodded. "Yeah… I shouldn't be surprised you know about it…" He drew his sword back. "I'm more interested in how you'll deal with it, though…"

Karui and Atsui grinned. "Here it comes." Karui said. "Green hair is toast."

"Laser Circus!" Darui roared as he swung his sword unleashing dozens of white beams at Scabbard before taking a two handed stance with the grip in one hand and the length of the blade in another.

"Now then… let's see how this technique works then…" The immortal mused as he rushed forward and swung the modified Kanshō downward to create a shockwave at Darui. The lightning arc plowed through a section of the lasers uninterrupted before prompting the man to dodge and return to his two handed stance. Scabbard used the hole made in the attack to push forward… until he rapidly turned around and used his swords to defend himself from the remaining beams that had turned around as well. The resulting explosion shook the room significantly, though nowhere close to the results of their first clash.

Sasuke's and Tenten's eyes widened in surprise. "Holy hell…" The Uchiha whispered. "I didn't know that there was a sword technique that could send tracking chakra blasts like that… the only thing that I can think of that does the same thing is Anko's snake techniques…"

"That wasn't a normal sword technique." Tenten frowned. "A lot of it has to do with some kind of special chakra he has…"

Karui smirked. "Darui-sempai has the Storm element bloodline. That's why the beams turned around. Combined with his lightning, he's one of Kumo's strongest shinobi. Green hair is good, but he doesn't stand a chance at winning…"

Sasuke and Tenten looked at one another before both snorting and shaking their heads. "If you think that having a special chakra or two is enough to beat Sensei, you're going to be seriously disappointed." Sasuke smirked. "Sure, it would be good enough for most high level shinobi… but after spending enough time training with this guy's family, I can assure you…" He activated his eyes and within an instant saw how the fight was probably going to end. "That you should never expect anyone of that blood fighting by normal means…"

Darui took no chances as he rushed forward into the dust to finish his potentially weakened opponent in order to get in a last blow, since he had little doubt that the poor condition of his weapon would be exploited soon; if not by Scabbard, then by his future opponents… only to find that no one was in the dust and a light was approaching him from his side. "Damn!" He grunted as he jumped high and at an angle to avoid the attack, only to barely block as Scabbard appeared from another angle and slashed heavily with Bakuya with both hands. Darui, having nowhere to dodge, did the best thing he could and engaged with Scabbard in the air.

Every time the blades connected, the black man could feel tremendous amounts of lightning chakra invade his body and attempt to paralyze his body, which was absurd since Darui had at that point channeled a fair amount of lightning chakra to his sword as well. ' _How is he doing this? I can tell he's using a similar amount of chakra as I am in his swords, so why am I being numbed down?'_ It was all the bewildered man could do to manage to block against his opponent and keep his mind on straight. Because of that, it was only after the two had fallen half way back to earth that he realized that something was off. ' _He only has one sword… where's the other…!'_ The man horrifically then just remembered of the previous day's events, watching the man throw the two weapons around like boomerangs…

"Too late." Scabbard smirked as the feathered black sword that had spun around half the arena in flight pierced Darui's back, ending the fight right there.

The two men landed onto the ground. One on his feet, the other on his side. "H-how…" Darui coughed. "My attack…"

"Only traces me when you have certain requirements set. You need to focus on me, be in place, and have a certain stance up to focus your chakra appropriately." Scabbard interrupted, getting a look of shock from his defeated opponent. "I could tell you were in control of them from how the beams honed in on me and moved in such complicated patterns… yet when you dodged my attack, the range of their movements decreased dramatically. It's because of that fact that I managed to get past them in the first place. In addition to that, I noticed that you returned into that same odd stance the moment you stopped moving again, so it was fairly obvious that you could regain control of that attack…"

He walked to the downed man and carefully took out his sword. The injury wasn't lethal or life threatening, but it was certainly deep and settled the match. Just as he had planned. "In addition to still maintaining the boomerang effect in this form, these swords also possess an interesting defensive ability. So long as I have both of them together in my possession, my body's resistance to physical attacks and jutsu is raised significantly. It was because of that that I remain relatively unharmed despite being hit dead on." He sighed as he stored his weapons away and looked at Darui's cracked and chipped weapon. "As for how I predicted your movements… you were aiming to win this tournament… and if you beat me, then there would be no one else to repair your sword for the next match. In order to make sure that no more damage came to your sword, you decided to rush in where I would have by most normal means been too distracted by my wounds to move or react to your finishing blow. Once I predicted that, it was fairly easy to plan the rest of my moves accordingly…"

"Winner! Scabbard!" The judge yelled, getting cheers from the audience.

"Man…" Darui coughed as the medics helped him up. "I was hoping the fight would be a bit less dull than that getting beaten with one hit…"

"I'm fairly certain you made up for it with showing off your elements." Scabbard sighed as he tossed the medics a small jar. "Use that on his wounds. It will help seal the cut and heal the damaged muscle tissue quickly." He paused as he looked down at Darui's nearly shattered cleaver and picked it up. "Don't worry about your sword… I'll fix it up for you by tomorrow… with those additions I promised."

"You'd better. That weapon was a gift from Raikage-sama…" Darui snorted as the group walked back.

"Is that all?" Kurotetsu snorted. "Flashing a bunch of chakra and special techniques… only to fall by a thrown weapon? Tch… pathetic…"

 _'I would have dodged it if his lightning streaming didn't somehow paralyze me while we were in the air…'_ Darui mentally frowned as he was carried to the medical bay. ' _I need to ask him about that later… it shouldn't have been possible since I was streaming my storm element… oh well… it's not like I'm going to tell this annoying bastard what happened…'_ He glanced over to where the participants of the next fight were standing. ' _I hope these medics can patch me up fast enough to see the end of the next fight. It's going to anything but dull…'_

"I'm surprised, little Zabuza…" Kisame chuckled. "You haven't run away yet…"

"Nah… too busy going over the recipe for shark fin soup…" Zabuza grinned through his wrappings.

"Oi oi… those two look like they're about to start their match right now…" Karui laughed nervously. "The killing intent they're leaking out is ridiculous."

"No… they're still holding back a bit…" Sasuke grunted, remembering the depth of Zabuza's presence.

 _'Just one more… and I can recreate all of the 7 swords…'_ Tenten frowned as her attention switched between the two men and the last sword she had yet to see in its entirety. ' _… oh yeah… it would also be good if Zabuza-sensei lived through this as well…'_

"Hey… Chōjurō…" Suigetsu whispered to his teammate. "I don't know about you… but I'm getting a bad feeling about this next fight…"

"I can barely stand…" The blue haired boy shivered even though he was a fair distance from his seniors. "They're in a completely different league than we are…" He swallowed heavily. "So this is why everyone was afraid of these two…"

"Remember to keep your head in check." Scabbard warned as he leaned up against his part of the wall again. "It's a pain in the ass to force the dead to cash in on their debts…"

'… _Why did it sound like that's something he's done before?'_ Everyone who knew the man thought nervously.

"Because I have." The immortal said out loud in a possessed tone, causing the people he answered to edge away from him rapidly with wide traumatized eyes.

"Will Zabuza and Kisame please enter the arena for your match?" The samurai asked in a loud voice.

The two ex-Kiri shinobi glanced at one another quietly before they slowly walked to their spots…

o. o. o.

"Neji, what can you tell us about Zabuza's opponent?" Lee asked curiously. "Naruto said that he had a lot of chakra, but what do you see?"

The Hyūga swallowed heavily. "This… isn't good. With the exception of Scabbard-sensei…"

Hinata continued with her eyes active and shivering. "… This man has the largest reserves I have ever seen. He has almost twice as much chakra as Naruto-kun does when he was using… that…"

Ino's eyes widened. "No way… that's… that's…"

Kin frowned. "Like I said… he's known as the tailed beast without a tail…"

"Hey… I know this is going to sound bad but… does Zabuza-sensei actually have a chance at beating this guy?" Kiba asked nervously.

"It is unlikely…" Sai commented. "Kisame's reserves are said to be matched by his monstrous strength and stamina. In a normal swordsmanship contest, the outcome would be obvious… however, this is not a normal swordsmanship bout as we have seen…" He glanced at the two weapons the men were wielding. "… and the weapons they are using are by no means normal…"

o. o. o.

"Bout time this fight came up." Kakuzu sighed. "I can't wait to see Kisame wipe the floor with this guy. If possible, I'm hoping they'll let him keep the head so I can turn it into the nearest bounty station."

"Will you stuff it with the money already? I'm trying to watch Kisame pay tribute to Jashin-sama." Hidan grunted.

"Kisame isn't a Jashinist, you idiot." The heart thief frowned.

"Feh. Sure, he doesn't follow the scriptures, but the way he kills his opponents is just half a step from turning him into a priest." Hidan rolled his eyes. "Such blood. Such agony. All I would need to do is get him to follow the ritual and learn the right prayers…"

"From watching your god awful rituals over and over again, I'm fairly certain that one of requirements for your religion is being a sadomasochist." Kakuzu commented. "Kisame isn't a sadomasochist… he's just a sadist, just like everyone else in Akatsuki… except you. You are the only exception."

"Tch. I wouldn't expect a nonbeliever to understand…" Hidan grumbled.

 _'I better make a mental note to warn Kisame about Hidan's plans for him later…'_ Kakuzu mentally sighed. ' _Itachi would use Tsukuyomi on me if I didn't and Kisame actually converted…'_

o. o. o.

Ao quietly looked down upon the field where his two ex-comrades were standing and glaring at one another with nothing less than the desire to maim one another in their eyes. Among Kiri's Seven Swordsmen, Zabuza and Kisame had been among the most ruthless of them all…

Kisame's defection had been a harmful blow to Kiri… though not terribly unexpected. He was too wild and kill happy. He was known to be a loner, even before his training, and took great satisfaction in mutilating his opponents…

Zabuza, though… his attempted coup was what many would consider the trigger that started the main resistance against the Fourth Mizukage. Everyone knew that Yagura and Zabuza were bloodless brothers, and the swordsman was actually one of the jinchūriki's top advisors before things started to go south… which made things even more surprising when word got around that Zabuza had actually tried to kill the man. It made people think… if their leader's closest ally had turned on him… then should we truly follow this man any longer?

… Of course, they had tried to get Zabuza back before during and after the rebellion, but unfortunately, all the methods they attempted to use in order to contact him had already been used by previous hunter-nin squads determined to capture him… so the messengers all died and the messages fell on deaf ears…

Ao's mission instructions were to just observe Zabuza and confirm the rumors about Kubikiri Hōchō. If possible, send a message to the man about the situation there, and if they were truly lucky, capture him and bring him back to Kiri for interrogation, information, and inform him of what happened in Kiri. The last of which was what the 3 squads of hunter-nin that came with his group was for. But now…

Ao looked at the note he had been given from one of his hunters. If the data on the piece of paper was true… then he might have to add a new objective to this mission for the security of Kiri… but his final decision would have to wait…

The upcoming fight would determine his next move.

o. o. o.

 _'Well now… let's see what little Zabuza's sword can do…'_ Kisame grinned as he slowly took his own weapon off of his back. ' _From what I can tell it can absorb a good amount of water pretty quickly, and then lets him channel and shape it for attacks… still, he doesn't look strong enough to hold me back long enough to use them…'_ His mouth widened. ' _This will be easy…'_

"Both participants are ready!" The proctor yelled.

 _'He's underestimating me…'_ Zabuza frowned as he began to focus his chakra and intent. The image of a demon began to slowly appear behind him.

"Third match of the senior round…"

 _'Good…'_ The assassin mentally chuckled as his Presence skyrocketed, producing not only the image of the demon clearly, but its upper body and arms as well.

"FIGHT!"

The two water specialists wasted no time and rushed at one another with deceptive speed considering how tall they were and swung at one another so harshly that the impact sent out a very strong shockwave.

"Hoh?" Kisame grinned as the two pressed on one another, still only using one hand with his sword. "You've gotten better since last time. Maybe this will be more interesting than I thought…"

"Oh, just wait and see, Kisame. I'll make you drop that annoying smirk of yours soon…" Zabuza shot back before the two jumped away from one another for a moment, and then engaged in a surprisingly fast paced duel considering the size of the swords they were using.

The two mammoth blades arced in seemingly endless directions as the two men tried to end the life of the other. The sounds of the two large pieces of metal ringing was accompanied by small shocks like thunder as they reached everyone's ears as all eyes were on the two men's fight. Each blow was meant to kill and each swing had enough power to cut through several men with ease. The power behind each deceptively fast swing was frequently proven every time the blades clashed or when one of the weapons cut or scraped through the ground without slowing down in the slightest. The way the two men swung their weapons almost casually was noted by more than a few individuals.

o. o. o.

"Eeh… ninja sure are strong…" Michiru awed as he watched the fight. "Those swords look so heavy, but they're not having any problems at all…"

"There are some shinobi like that, Michiru-dono." Neji commented without looking at the man. "They use deceptively large or complicated weapons with unparalleled ease to take down their opponents. Those two down there are among the most well-known of that variety… and the most dangerous as well…"

"I see…" Michiru nodded. "But does that mean that they are the most dangerous kinds of ninja in general?"

Hinata shook her head. "No. Ninja come in all shapes and sizes, and that includes their techniques. While one set of moves might be good against one opponent, they might not be enough for another. There is also the skill and ability of the users themselves to put into account as well. An example would be Hokage-sama. While she is a woman of great beauty and medical knowledge, she is also a fearsome taijutsu expert and possesses unparalleled strength… but despite those traits of hers, she does not particularly excel in mid or long ranged battles, so a particularly strong ninja that specializes in that would have an advantage over her… even so, they would most likely still not win against her due to her experience…" She sighed. "Still, there are shinobi half her age that can still give her a run for her money if she isn't careful…"

"Eh… the shinobi world is pretty frightening…" The Prince mused as he watched Zabuza dodge a swing made by Kisame, which instead of killing Zabuza took out one of the stalactites that fell during Sasuke's and Tenten's fight. "Though I'm not worried because I have you guys to protect me." He added cheerfully.

 _'Does he really think we're THAT strong?'_ The ninja guarding him deadpanned and sweated nervously. Oh, how they hated this mission.

o. o. o.

Jumping back once more, the two glared at one another before running in the same direction. After a few seconds, Kisame decided to pick things up again by swinging Samehada, and to the surprise of many, extending the grip in the process, causing it to act more like a flail than a sword. Zabuza in turn jumped out of the way and gripped his sword with two hands. In an instant, the length of the blade was covered in water and shot out to extend the edge, much like how Tenten did with her copy of the sword against Sasuke, only in Zabuza's case, the water portion of the sword was noticeably more solid and sharper looking. Swinging with considerable strength, Zabuza's aim to cut Kisame's head off from a distance was foiled as the shark man barely managed to retract Samehada back into its original shape in time and block the attack. Much to his surprise, though, the blue man was still sent back a considerable distance before his sword ate up the chakra in the water and the blade near him splashed onto the ground. "My, my." Grunted Kisame as he landed on the ground. "That was a surprise. I didn't think that you could condense the water with your chakra so much that you could hit me that hard before Samehada absorbed it all. It's certainly impressive…" He watched as the top half of the wrappings around his sword unraveled themselves to reveal the weapon underneath. "Samehada certainly seems to be liking it, too…"

 _'Extending the blade didn't work. It surprised him… but didn't work.'_ Zabuza noted. ' _I didn't expect it to, but it would have been nice if it did. Still… it's good to know that my composition training is paying off. It took a while for Samehada to absorb my chakra… and the water used still remains, just as expected…'_ The man took a stance again and his sword immersed itself in a seemingly thin veil of solid water. ' _I guess that means that this move really should be enough to beat him…'_

Kisame smirked as he hoisted Samehada onto his shoulder. "Oh? Another trick with that annoying new sword again? You should know better by now… Samehada will just eat up the chakra in your technique and then use it to make me stronger… while you just continue to tire yourself out… just like every other time we've fought." He chuckled. "I wonder what Yagura would say if he saw you being stupid like this now…"

Zabuza's eyes shadowed over, easily indicating that he was attempting to deal with his anger. "…Kisame. I want you do deliver a message for me…" He said almost quietly before he rushed forward and slashed at Kisame, who blocked it almost lazily. "The next time you see that prick that played with Yagura's mind…" He whispered quietly, getting a frown of surprise from Kisame. "Tell him I'm going to rip out that fucking eye of his and shove it up his ass…"

Before Kisame could respond to Zabuza's threat, however, the assaulting blade exploded on him in a torrent of high pressurized water that slammed him into the ground before sending him away from the clearly pissed assassin and leaving a sizeable gash from his left shoulder to his right hip. "Wh-what?" Grimaced the missing-nin as the presence of his wound registered to his brain.

Scabbard smirked. ' _Samehada's chakra absorbing ability combined with its large sturdy structure and Kisame's inhuman strength provides the man with a very strong defense that can handle most attacks that come from one direction. Because of that, fighting against this man in a one on one battle is almost as unadvisable as going against Itachi alone, since it's difficult to attack at multiple angles at once alone. Even if you have help, Kisame is strong, fast and skilled enough to go against multiple high level opponents at once without much difficulty.'_ He watched as the blue man grunted and picked himself up again.

' _Instead of wasting chakra and trying to fight from multiple angles at once, it is better to fight in a way to get around that strong defense of his, as it is virtually a third of his general fighting strategy, with the other two being the use of his overpowering ninjutsu and using his raw physical prowess to trample over most defenses. All swords are made so that the grip is designed to be held with the blade forward, and Samehada is no exception. When Zabuza attacked, he didn't cover his sword in water, but in extremely highly pressurized water. When Kisame defended, he was using the edge of Samehada to do so, hence reducing how much of his sword was between himself and Kubikiri Hōchō. Samehada still absorbed Zabuza's chakra from the water, but that only caused the shell that was keeping the water together to rupture and unleash the entirety of the contents upon Kisame. Since it was simply water and natural physics attacking him, and Samehada was on its side, Kisame took nearly the full brunt of the damage and only absorbed a small amount of Zabuza's chakra._ His smirk widened as Zabuza struck again and Kisame tried to defend with the wide side of his sword this time, only to be pushed back slightly to his surprise and get cut on his right side. _Because of the way the grip is designed, Kisame can't properly defend with the wide end of Samehada since Zabuza is strong enough to capitalize on it…_

"Why you little…" Kisame growled as he tried to counter in retaliation, only to meet blades with Zabuza again and once again get gouged by a released high pressure stream of water, causing him to back away. "Those childish tricks are interesting, Zabuza… but you forget that I have some moves TOO!" He roared as he charged forward again with Samehada, only this time the scales on the blade began to elongate into dangerous looking spikes that could easily reach the wrapped man if he tried to defend.

Zabuza in turn growled as he jumped back just in time to dodge the fatal swing and swiped at Kisame in retaliation… releasing what appeared to be a chakra wave at the man. Kisame blocked with time to spare… only to yell in rage and surprise as the wave turned out to be made out of water and much like Zabuza's previous attack, the water that wasn't blocked continued on and cut the man's sides like a butcher's knife through a fish... yeah.

"What's the matter, fish boy? Not enough water?" Zabuza snorted as he readied his sword again. "Well here, have some more!" With that Zabuza began to unleash multiple hyper condensed waves of water at Kisame, forcing the man to dodge and block whenever the first wasn't possible. Because the water was shot forward using both chakra and water pressure, the waves traveled much faster than anticipated, causing Kisame to defend more often than dodge. In the process, all of the bandages around Samehada became undone, and most of the chakra absorbed by the sword was dedicated to closing and healing the wounds that Kisame received, preventing it from getting any larger and blocking more of the attacks.

"This is getting annoying…" The shark man growled irritably as his wounds partially closed themselves using the chakra stored in Samehada. The hungry weapon could eat chakra by the loads, but it also digested the stuff rather quickly as well, meaning he couldn't store chakra in it as backup reserves over long periods of time. "You may have had a lucky shot, Zabuza, but playtime's OVER!" He roared as he focused chakra to his feet and used the water on the ground to launch slash skate rapidly at the frowning Zabuza. With the shark man's increased speed and mobility, he was finally able to dodge more of the water blades flying through the air and go on the offensive.

 _'Right… he's pissed off now. I can't fight him normally up close when he uses two hands, and even with my Presence, I'd probably be wrecked on the first swing.'_ Zabuza frowned as he loosened his stance. ' _Well then… if that's the case, I might as well go for something I'm strong at to counter it…'_

"I'm going to shave you to pieces, Zabuza!" Kisame roared as he charged forward at a high speed… just in time to see Zabuza's sword discharge an enormous amount of mist in a single moment, enveloping a very large section of the arena grounds.

"Kirigakure…" Chōjurō whispered with wide eyes, noting how thick the mist is. "I've never seen it done to this level before…"

"All of it came from his sword, too… so the judges can't do anything about it." Suigetsu mused. "Samehada might absorb the chakra in the mist… but in the meantime, Kisame's practically Zabuza's bitch unless he's been hiding some kind of secret sword technique or is better than Zabuza at silent killing…"

Kisame clicked his teeth irritably as he realized that he was in a very shitty situation now. Not many people knew exactly why Zabuza was so good with Kirigakure, but he did. The damned wrapped man used to practice the technique against Yagura's when they were kids, and since the Sanbi gave Yagura's mist that annoying hallucinating property, Zabuza needed an edge for his mist to come out on top. That edge came in the form of impossibly thick mist that not only killed off sight and sound, AND masked the user's presence near perfectly from most sensing techniques, but also messed with most genjutsu and wide spread ninjutsu as well. Word had it that Zabuza had somehow managed to mix in aspects of the Water Style: Kiriame (mist rain) technique, which was used by hunter-nin to drown out or weaken many kinds of ninjutsu in the mist, but no one was for sure.

In the faint distance, he could hear his opponent chuckling dryly, throwing his voice in a way that made it impossible to find the owner. "Heheheh… brings back memories, doesn't it Kisame? If I remember correctly, you never were that talented in silent killing or the Kirigakure techniques…"

"Yeah well… I didn't really need to, did I ZabuZA!" He grunted the last part out as he swung Samehada like a flail in a direction that he assumed his opponent was hiding, only to hit nothing, and get a deep gash in his shoulder for his troubles. "Damn it…" He grunted as he retracted his sword and stuck it under his arm, preparing to make some seals.

"Ah, ah… can't do that, Kisame." Zabuza's voice laughed all around the man. "Ninjutsu isn't allowed unless it directly has something to do with your sword. Wouldn't want to irritate the locals and be the focus of everyone here, would you? What would Itachi say?"

Kisame grunted in irritation, knowing that Zabuza was right. Making enemies inside the capital of a major military force wasn't a smart idea, especially since it was likely that it would give Konoha a reason to inform Iron about Akatsuki and earn them a new enemy. Still, his current situation was infuriating. He was stronger than Zabuza. He was faster than Zabuza. He had stronger techniques than Zabuza. He had higher reserves than Zabuza. Hell, even his sword was supposed to be better than Zabuza's but… wait… his sword… Grinning as a plan formed in his head, the shark man raised his sword. "He'd probably tell me to calm down and find a way to kill you…" He smiled savagely as he slammed the massive weapon onto the ground with tremendous force, causing a large enough shockwave to blow away most of the mist and clearing the view for everyone in the cave again, but Zabuza was not mist as he proved by appearing behind the shark man and managing to leave another large cut as Kisame dodged. ' _Now!'_ Smirked the man, despite the new wound he received as he whipped his sword into its flail like state again and hit Zabuza, knocking away his sword in the process.

"Damn… it!" Zabuza grunted as the flesh on his stomach was shredded. The wound itself wasn't that deep, but it would hinder his performance for the rest of the fight, it hurt like a bitch, and now he was unarmed. When he looked up, he saw that Kisame had positioned himself between the man and his sword.

Kisame chuckled loudly, his eyes becoming even more filled with bloodlust than they were before. "Well, well. I must admit you've given me a better fight than expected… however, I'm afraid that you're going to have to die now…" His laughing increased as he used his deceptively high speed to seemingly teleport in front of the downed Zabuza and raised his sword almost lazily above his head…

"Sensei!" Yelled almost all the teenagers from Konoha.

… Scabbard only rolled his eyes…

"The hell I am!" The seemingly dead man roared in defiance as the wrappings around his arms loosened to reveal a seal on the palms of each one. Swinging his arms just a fraction of a second before Kisame did was all the man needed as Kubikiri Hōchō emerged from an explosion of smoke and disarmed Kisame, arm and sword alike.

The shark man roared in rage and pain as his arm and weapon flew away, spraying blood in a variety of directions. Jumping back to prevent himself from being decapitated, the Akatsuki member glared at the chuckling Zabuza as he picked himself up again. "How? Your sword was behind me the entire time!" He hissed.

The four limbed man smirked and revealed one of his palms to Kisame. "That fucking bastard Scabbard may have charged me up the ass for Kubikiri Hōchō's upgrades, but at least I know I got my money's worth. As long as I'm wearing these seals, I can summon my sword back to me any time I want in an instant. No hand seals. No blood. No wasted time, and since it's tuned to my chakra, no one else can summon it against my will if they steal or copy the seal." He shouldered the weapon. "You're done, Kisame. You had a shot against me when you had both your arms, but one handed you don't stand a fucking chance." His grip tightened. "I'm going to enjoy filleting you!" He was about to begin his swing when the proctor samurai stepped in.

"Kisame is unable to fight any more! Zabuza is the winner!" The declaration was shouted quickly and clearly, causing Zabuza's swipe to stop an inch from Kisame's neck.

The assassin frowned and clicked his teeth in irritation. "Tch. One more second and I would have had some closure in my fucking life for once…" He grunted disappointed as he shouldered the blade and turned around. "Hope you enjoyed your ass beating, Kisame. Next time we meet, please do tell me what it's like to be a filleted fish."

"You… cocky little…" Kisame growled, his voice laced with immense amounts of killing intent. Samehada had long since crawled back to his side at that point, dragging his disembodied arm with it. "To be disregarded like that… I'm going to…!" Before the blue man could take a step forward however, a small but distinct wave of killing intent pierced him from behind. One that he did not feel often, but knew almost instantly. Clicking his sharp teeth irritably and relaxing his stance again, the shark man grunted, put his sword on his back again, and picked up his arm. "Damn it. Fine. I'll let him go for now…" He winced as he gave his body a look over. Zabuza had really done a number on him with the multiple gashes that covered his body, not to mention that one of his arms was fucking cut off. Sure, the chakra that Samehada absorbed healed some of the damage, but for the most part, unless he somehow came across a huge source of chakra to take in, he would be fighting at less than satisfactory levels for a good while. Growling audibly, the man pushed past the medics who were trying to help heal him and cut off the bleeding from his arm. "Don't bother…" He grunted as he walked to an exit that was a distance away from the fighter's box. "I have someone here that can take care of it better than everyone else…"

"Welcome back." Scabbard droned as Zabuza collapsed onto the ground next to him and let the medics look at his wound. "I see that you managed to win."

"Yeah, yeah…" Zabuza grunted. "I'll say it. You are the greatest weapon craftsman to ever exist, and people should be honored to pay gratuitous amounts of money for your services. Blacksmiths from all over the universe and beyond flock to you in order to learn your secrets and craft, if not to try and get one of your hairs to mount on a wall..."

"Don't forget the part that says that worlds would crumble at the mere presence of my overwhelming power and assortment of creations…" The green haired man added offhandedly.

The rest of the ninja there sweatdropped as the two men went back and forth with the over the top and clearly previously made 'praises' to Scabbard.

"Are those two always like this?" Chōjurō asked Tenten, as the two men somehow were now talking about how Scabbard's tools cured cancer simply by stabbing the 'patient'.

"You get used to it… eventually…" She wept, embarrassed by her teacher's antics.

"So I'm guessing he's the guy who tweaked out Kubikiri Hōchō then…" Suigetsu mused as the men's ramblings continued. "Could have fooled me…"

Karui shivered as she replayed the fight in her head. "No wonder the 7 Swordsmen of Kiri are so famous…"

"Hey, Bee. Did I miss the fight?" Darui asked as he was pushed in on a wheelchair by a medic.

"Man it's so sad you missed a feast, the bout so fuckin' beast!" Bee responded. "Gotta raise the alarm, shark man lost the match, and his arm."

"Zabuza won?" Darui asked curiously as he turned to see said man clearly trying to hold himself back… along with the medics that were trying to tend to his wounded stomach, from throttling Scabbard. "I guess that's for the best, then…" His eyes slightly narrowed. _Still, Zabuza was an A-class missing-nin back before he left Kiri, and Kisame is a notorious S-class missing-nin. The gap between those ranks is a big one to cover… for Zabuza to actually beat Kisame, even if the latter wasn't using ninjutsu, is still something to pay attention to…_ He looked at Scabbard, then Tenten and Sasuke, then back to Zabuza. _Konoha's shinobi are getting stronger, that much is obvious… but why…_

o. o. o.

"Gah! Careful will you?" Kisame hissed as Kakuzu's thread stitched his arm back into place. "Unlike your partner, I'm not used to being pieced back together like some kind of toy…"

"Quiet. I don't want to hear complaints from the fool that nearly got killed by that weakling Zabuza." Kakuzu grunted. "You lost me a fair amount of money, Kisame. If you didn't take your sweet time like that retard of a partner of mine at the end, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Whatever." The shark man growled as he checked to see how much chakra was still in Samehada and frowned when he saw that it was nowhere near as much as he wanted. He had enough to at least connect most of the nerves and some of the muscles back together in his arm, but after that, he would have to heal the rest of his arm's and body's damage au natural. "Tch. I'm going to be in a pretty bad condition for a while… Leader is going to be pissed…"

"Leader…" Kakuzu mused as he finished the last stitches. "That reminds me… Kisame, the Kyūbi jinchūriki, you said it was some loudmouthed brat, right?"

Kisame raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. What of it? He's Itachi's and my target. You can't have him. I still have to get back at him for that annoying exploding clone of his that he set off in my face."

"I know. Tell me… he wouldn't happen to have blonde hair, blue slit eyes, and whisker marks, would he?" Kakuzu's eyes narrowed.

Kisame blinked a couple of times before a wide grin slowly etched itself onto his face…

o. o. o.

"So your wounds are good?" Scabbard asked with a tone that almost hinted at concern as the two men watched Bee and his finely dressed opponent Saito Yukimura walk to the middle of the arena.

"Yeah." Zabuza grunted. "Medics restored everything, and the chakra I stored in Kubikiri Hōchō is meshing everything back faster after they left." He smirked, doing a quiet check on the amount and quality of the water stored in his sword. He was practically giddy in the fact that he had almost a bijū's worth of chakra and a large lake's worth of water inside the thing, all at his disposal. "I probably should have done that while Kisame was watching just to piss him off. After all, I based that trick off of the one that is used by users of Samehada, after all…"

"You'll have other opportunities." The elder of the two mused. "For now, just watch the fight and think of how to end your next one with the winner without becoming a hindrance to my plans."

"Would it kill you to be subtle for once?" Zabuza asked with a twitching glare.

"No… but it would most likely kill you and many others…" The shorter of the two shrugged. "Apparently, the last time I tried, I accidentally released several mutated experiments and destroyed a secret civilization because someone misinterpreted my suggestions. People truly are idiots…"

"The sad thing is you're most likely telling the truth there…" The taller wept comically.

"Oi what are those two talking about?" Suigetsu asked Sasuke as he watched Zabuza begin to hit his head against the wall without hesitation.

"For all our sake, don't ask." The Uchiha deadpanned. "Zabuza's still trying to pay off Scabbard for his upgrades to his sword, and in the meantime, Scabbard runs him into the ground with random jobs and relentless mind games. I've been around for a few of said games…" He sighed. "They are indiscriminate against those who rely on logic to get through life…"

"… What?" Suigetsu blinked.

"Hey the fight's about to start." Karui told the other two excitedly as they turned in time to see Bee fling out all 7 of his swords and catch them all in his joints, to general surprise. "This is gonna be good…"

"That's a stance?" Suigetsu asked bewildered. "How the hell is he supposed to fight like that?"

"Let's get this party started, mothafucka!" Bee shouted anxiously as he bounced on one leg.

His opponent nodded quietly as he took a low drawing stance.

"Bee Vs. Saito!" The proctor shouted. "FIGHT!"

As soon as the words were shouted, Saito's smaller frame all but disappeared in a massive burst of speed and reappeared nearly instantly a good distance behind Bee, sheathing his blade. The larger of the two men collapsed to one knee in the process. "I apologize for ending it so quickly, but the Yukimura style is based on ending battles as soon as possible…" His speech was interrupted as he had to focus on dodging several of Bee's swords from impaling him. "What?"

"Whew… gotta admit that trick of yours was pretty chill…" Bee chuckled as he appeared next to the thrown swords and picked them up in his joints again with ease. At the same time, Saito noticed that he was bleeding slightly from a cut on one of his arms. "But against me, you're gonna have to use a lot more skill bro…"

"No way…" Sasuke frowned, his eyes active. "Even with my eyes I could barely follow that strike. How the heck did he manage to not only follow it but counter as well?"

Before Karui could answer that question, Bee took off again. Spinning through the air like a buzz saw with his 7 swords, the man quickly went on the offensive with his bizarre style and keeping Saito constantly backing away from him. Saito's katana was longer, but because there were so many swords coming at various angles and speeds, he could not exploit that advantage as the rings of the weapons clashing echoed in the room. This fight was clearly different from the other ones that had taken place in the senior division, as this one actually looked more like a match between master swordsmen and not individuals with peculiar abilities or powers… well, once you got around the whole, one of the guys fighting is using 7 swords at once bit at least.

"A bizarre, but surprisingly efficient style…" Grunted Saito as he deflected one sword and dodged another, but in the process got scratched deeply on his shoulder. "You are deceptively fast as well…"

"Aw stop, you're making me blush…" Bee chuckled as two of his swords twirled in midair, freeing his legs enough for him to do some more tricky acrobatics and land a few more scratches, forcing his opponent back. The man winced in pain as the new damage registered with him, which almost ended the fight right there as he had to dodge a split second before Bee almost squashed him with a brutal stomp. "Close, you almost didn't miss my crush."

"You are indeed a formidable opponent…" Saito breathed out heavily as he straightened himself out. "I was hoping to save my stronger techniques for later on, but I see that your prowess is great enough that I need to use them now…" Taking a peculiar stance, the man paused for a moment before rushing forward again, which was rather dangerous given that Bee could counter in a variety of ways…

Scabbard blinked as the man bolted in a straight line and began to move his sword. ' _… Well now… I certainly didn't expect a move like that to appear here… but then again, I didn't expect Tenten to be half a step away from being a faker, either… Bee's going to have his work cut out for him this time…'_

Saito swung his blade at Bee with an extremely swift strike but was still blocked by two of the black man's swords… or so it looked to those who could barely follow the man's movements. The two men backed up again… and this time Bee was the one who had taken damage from a moderately sized cut that bit into his unprotected shoulder down to halfway across his chest.

"He hit Sensei?" Karui gaped. "But he was blocked… and Sensei's faster and stronger than him too. How did he get hurt?"

"I think I saw how he did it…" Darui frowned. "But… I'm having trouble believing what I saw myself."

"What… in the world?" Sasuke blinked in awe and fear as he thought about what he just saw. "How… he swung only once but… there were three strikes…"

"I know exactly what he did… but I'm clueless at the same time…" Tenten shivered, clearly confused about this mystery technique.

"Tsubame Gaeshi. (Return of the Swallow)." Scabbard stated, grabbing everyone's attention. "… That's the name of the technique he used… or at least the name of a variation used by a man I once met. It defies the laws of physics and multiplies the existence of that single slash. The multiple copies are swung quickly and in such a way that prevents the opponent from defending or dodging…" He eyed the two fighters with interest. "However, the defending fact was based upon fighting an opponent that used only 1 weapon… and Saito's sword is significantly shorter than the one used by the individual I mentioned before, which is convenient for Bee, since his wound would have been considerably deeper otherwise."

" In a normal sword vs. sword fight … I've been told that countering this technique is similar to, and I quote: challenging god with mere human skill." He chuckled darkly to himself. "In that regard… I believe that the rest of us were lucky that he was put up against Bee… since he's the only one of us that can properly defend against such a technique…"

"That's a pretty sweet trick ya did…" Bee grunted as he played over the previous clash in his head. He had followed the man's initial strike as usual and had made the according moves to block it, but out of nowhere, those other two slashes came in to dice him up. Twisting his body, he managed to block the second vertical slash from gutting him or taking off a limb, but with all the other moves he had been doing, he couldn't properly deflect that third hit in time despite his impressive speed, which resulted in his wounded chest. There was a limit to how much a person could multitask when fighting at blinding speeds after all. "If I didn't move, I'd be down a head… with skills like yours, I'm not surprised if the ladies fell at your feet like flies…"

"I am also impressed…" Saito nodded courteously as he took a stance again. "Not many would manage to encounter my clan's Blades of Fate technique and survive, let alone sustain such little damage… that peculiar style of yours is certainly an irritating thing to deal with…"

"Ya try to knock off my head and knock my skills, but ya didn't knock my mad rappin' thrill…" Bee nodded as he began to channel chakra to all 7 of his blades. "As thanks, I'll take it up a step…"

The noble nodded silently in acknowledgement as his katana began to glow as well. The two men once more dashed at the other and clashed blades at a rapid pace that was all but invisible to anyone who wasn't experienced in observing this level of fighting. The glowing blades made it surprisingly difficult to follow as the sheer number of them in motion seemed to cause them all to blur into one another.

Zabuza frowned as the combatants clashed constantly, the rings of metal striking metal meticulously tapping and echoing into his ears. He had to admit, he would be in big trouble if he fought either of these men before learning of their abilities. Their speed and skill were tremendous, and their techniques were enough that if they caught him off guard, he would have certainly been finished. Kisame wouldn't be in much trouble because Samehada was large enough to block against most of their attacks and Kisame himself was fast and strong enough to handle them, but Zabuza had to fight on the smarter side. He was fast and strong, yes, but not enough to handle everything those two could dish out. He shook his head. Three out of the 8 finalists here were natural lightning element users, an element that was among the better used for sword battles for its enhancing cutting ability and its paralysis effects.

When it comes to one on one kenjutsu, there was a sort of rock paper scissors game with lightning, wind and water elements. Water could outmaneuver wind elements, wind could cut through lightning and prevent the paralyzing effect, and lightning could easily flow through water's composition. Using Samehada pretty much broke the system, regardless of what element you or the opponent was, and of course there was the strength and skill of the fighters to take into consideration, but for the most part, that was generally how things worked. Fire and earth elements helped out a bit, but they really weren't meant for kenjutsu unless the element was for some kind of particular style or helped the blade in some way, like how earth chakra streaming worked well with maintaining katana, which were notorious for chipping and breaking when used in sword clashes.

Against water and wind types, Zabuza was good. He had a type advantage against one and his sword's abilities took care of the other. Lightning on the other hand… was something he didn't want to deal with for multiple reasons… the first of which was simply that Scabbard had zapped him so many times that he just fucking hated the element, and the second was that he almost died via a Raikiri, and Haku did by the same method less than a foot away from him. The image was still pretty hard to get out of his head, even if he currently spent every other free weekend with the man responsible drinking and tempting random people discretely to try and see what was under their masks. Kakashi was in the lead people wise, but that was most likely because he didn't naturally scare the living shit out of most normal people just by looking at them.

Then there was the third reason…

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the cheering of the crowd as the combatants separated again. Saito was sporting some more cuts and was shaking sporadically, most likely due to the chakra he was streaming into his sword not being enough to counter all of Bee's lightning chakra. The larger of the two men seemed relatively fine other than the initial cut he still had from before.

"Ya fought well, pajama man, but it's about time I blow ya away like a fan. So says the almighty Bee-sama…" The black man rapped as he bolted forward again, flipping so rapidly that it reached the point that his body was blocked out by the streaming glowing of his charged weapons. "Wheeeeee!"

"I will not lose here!" Saito roared as his sword glowed brightly. "Hidden Art: Great Blade!" Swinging his sword with as much strength and control he could muster, the noble unleashed a tremendously large wave of chakra that trumped any other chakra based attack performed so far in the tournament. The massive blue wave collided with Bee's glowing form, causing a massive battle for supremacy that sent shocks in every direction for a good while… before the wave bisected the glowing ball and continued relentlessly until it crashed into the roof of the cave… and revealed that the attacking mass was only 5 swords had been defeated with no body… "WHAT?" Saito shouted in alarm as a large and familiar shadow made itself known behind him. Before the man could react, Bee with two swords in hand cross slashed the man's back before spinning and kicking him almost halfway across the arena.

"Clever…" Scabbard mused. "He can't use clones and standard replacement techniques, so he used the lightning chakra in his sword to blind his opponent before dropping out of the attack and creating a core of magnetically charged lighting chakra to take his place. Because of the spinning and the glow, no one could tell he slipped out, and because technically his swords were still attacking, he won't get disqualified."

The proctor swiftly rushed over to check on Saito and saw that the man was unconscious and loosing blood rather quickly. "Winner! Bee Killer!" He shouted, and silently ushered in the medics quickly to take care of the downed man. "We will now have a 30 minute break! If you have any desire to relieve yourselves or make more bets, please do so now!"

"Great ones rise and great ones fall, but I'm the beast to rule them all, motha fucka!" Bee bounced to the fighter's box after getting his swords back. Two of them were broken by Saito's last attack, but the man still had 5 swords left, so it wasn't going to do that much damage to his style.

"Please, we knew you were going to win from the start, Sensei." Karui rolled her eyes.

"So… you think you can take him?" Scabbard asked curiously to Zabuza from the side. "Unlike Kisame, that guy really does have a bijū in him."

"I have a few things in mind that might turn things in my favor." Zabuza shrugged casually before glancing at Kurotetsu who was eyeing Scabbard as if he was something he couldn't wait to tear apart… which was most likely the case. "So how are you going to humiliate Kurotetsu? Tear him apart with a practice sword? Disintegrate his clothes in one pass? Oh… what about a Thousand Years of Death with a lightning charged broadsword?"

"Options 573, 1094 and 18 all considered and rejected." Scabbard sighed before putting one an eager look. "I have something more… intimidating and entertaining in mind…"

"Is it flashy beyond all known mortal reason?" Zabuza deadpanned.

"Please, I passed that small step ages ago." The immortal rolled his eyes.

"… Just make sure not to kill anyone else or create a new world order in the process, please." The taller man wept.

"… I'll consider it."

o. o. o.

Suna:

Gaara attempted to calm himself as he took control of the vast amount of sand in front of him. Using his chakra to control and guide the fragments of stone, the teen guided the various masses in front of him as an orchestra conductor directed his performance. A raise of his right arm created a tremendous wall, and a flick of the same wrist shot a flat layer out of said wall like a disk, which flew for a fair distance before colliding with a large boulder he had made almost 50 meters away. The stone was deftly sliced in half, though it still stood due to the fact that the two halves were lying one on top of the other.

Slowly crossing his arms, the mass of sand swirled into a round, spiral-like shield. With a small pulse of his chakra, small bullets shot out of the structure with impressive speed and impaled the stone, puncturing it full of small holes.

Not finished yet, the sand master spun his arms in the opposite direction until they crossed again, creating a massive cylinder. Whether intentional or not, the shape had several indications and designs in it that would make many think that Shukaku had something to do with its creation. Focusing much more chakra into this shape, Gaara growled as the other end began to glow intensely. "Roar of Shukaku…" The redhead stated darkly just before a massive blast of chakra was unleashed, plowing straight through the boulder and shooting straight through the desert for a while until it detonated, sending a shockwave that would have blinded him with dust and sand if he didn't already control them.

"Still too slow…" He grunted as the wind died down. "I'll fix that later… for now…" The boy made a face of effort as he raised his hands up slowly and half a dozen massive columns of sand shot up from the desert at his call, all in the twisted form of Shukaku's arms.

As Gaara jumped onto his own personal platform of sand, he ignored the group of ninja a small distance away who were gaping in awe at the power the boy held. Everyone knew Gaara was strong. The fact that it was common knowledge that his old man had been trying to kill him for a while before he was killed by Orochimaru supported it, but not even the ninja that had spent the most time in the general area as Gaara had ever seen him show this much potential. The sheer scale of what he was doing was staggering to say the least, and the ones who had been around the boy the most could tell that he was not giving into his demon in the least from how he was moving.

"This is getting ridiculous…" Mumbled one of the Suna shinobi. "I mean, we all knew that Gaara changed somehow when he went to Konoha… but to become this much stronger over so little time…"

"You think the demon has something to do with it?" A chūnin kunoichi asked fearfully.

"I don't know." Another shook his head. "From the way he's been acting lately, you'd think the opposite… but from what he's doing now…"

"My Uncle's a part of the council." Whispered another chūnin. "He told me that according to Chiyo-sama, someone played with his seal and made it stronger. Because of that, Gaara can not only sleep now without letting the demon take over, but have access to more of its chakra, too. He also said that since his mind is more stable now, he has more control over his powers too…"

"Hold on, you mean to say that someone in Konoha knew that we sent a jinchūriki into their village a month before the invasion and they didn't do anything?" A jōnin asked incredulously. "But that would mean that they had been aware of what we were doing for nearly a month… and yet they still teamed with us to fight Orochimaru…"

"The enemy of my enemy…" Muttered a kunoichi. "Remember, Gaara had no love for either Orochimaru or his father for what they have done to him. Besides, Konoha most likely thought that things would turn out best if we teamed up with them against Orochimaru. Even if we did almost betray them, in a way they are silently putting guilt on the entire country in the eyes of everyone else by not only doing nothing against us, but fixing our problems with our Daimyō too. The last mission I was on, some Taki bitch had the nerve to call my team Konoha's dogs… before I gutted the whore."

"Calm down." Ordered an ANBU. "Out of all the things Konoha did in reaction to our involvement, I'd say we got off far lighter than we deserved. Remember, until a couple of weeks beforehand, we were on Orochimaru's side. They could have easily held it above our heads for years instead of doing what they did."

The group was broken out of their musings as one of the sand arms launched another random massive boulder into the sky, only for another arm to shoot out a cloud of sand right into its path. The boulder then went into the cloud but not out, as the floating molecules condensed almost instantly to crush the invading object. Several more clouds of sand were released into the air where they hung almost as if they were waiting for their targets, which came in the form of more airborne boulders from the earth. All but two of the boulders were caught and crushed instantly by the opposing clouds. The outliers on the other hand managed to pass through just in time to avoid such a fate, but in compensation fell to the earth and shattered upon impact.

 _'Still needs work…'_ The jinchūriki frowned. The Sandstorm Coffin technique he was developing took more chakra to work with than its standard version because spreading sand over a wider area instead of in clumps was more difficult to manage. His thoughts were interrupted as a voice called out to him.

"Gaara! Check it out! I'm flying!" Shouted Temari gleefully as the boy turned to see his sister doing just that, albeit somewhat unstably and slowly, to him on all fours on top of her new weapon. In addition to the main fan, Ramidreju also had a secondary smaller fan that extended from the handle area, which was meant to stabilize the weapon when it was used for this particular purpose. According to Temari, the weapon's unnaturally high wind chakra amplifying, converting and channeling capabilities enabled the girl to fly through the air instead of only gliding and hovering like her previous weapon would allow her to. Of course, it was obvious from looking at her that she still needed more practice, but for the girl to get this far on her own in only a couple of months was impressive.

Gaara's train of thought was interrupted once more as a random desert gust of wind blew the girl a bit too much and caused her to lose her balance and fall. Wasting no time, the jinchūriki called up some of the sand below to catch the girl almost instantly.

"Ugh…" The blonde moaned as she pushed herself up to a sitting position and rubbed her head. "Well… I can kinda fly…"

"It would be smart to practice that skill of yours only a few feet above the ground, sister." Gaara shook his head. "… I don't know what I would do if you were to leave us…"

Temari blinked as her platform stopped next to her brothers. "G-Gaara?"

"… I cannot stand the thought of babysitting Kankurō by myself." The redhead finished with an almost amused tone.

The girl paused before growing a tick mark and making a fist. "You know… you've been getting pretty cocky with that mouth of yours for a while now, dear little brother. I believe that it is time to remind you who is in charge of the household…" It was time to put that useful memory she had stored away when she had seen Gaara get pinched on the cheek by some random old woman when they were tiny kids to use now that she knew that Gaara wouldn't kill her for acting on it…

The ninja on the ground could only barely see what was happening, but to that day they could have sworn that Temari was attacking her brother on the platform in the air… and was winning.

o. o. o.

Back in Iron:

"It's almost time for your fight." Zabuza mused as people began to walk into the arena stands again. "You decide on which route of humiliation you're going to use?"

"Zzzzzzzzz." Scabbard replied with his eyes closed and a snot bubble expanding out of one nostril.

"Of course you have." The assassin rolled his eyes.

"Now THAT's chill…" Bee nodded with approval.

"Humph." Kurotetsu snorted. "To consider one such as myself so lightly. He will regret not taking this seriously."

"Fangirlzzzz… keep them awaaaay…zzzzz." Scabbard grunted in his sleep, causing anyone who listened to sweatdrop.

"So what's your name, Tenten, what the hell was that power of yours?" Suigetsu asked Tenten, who had decided she had recovered enough energy to stand on her own after the break. "You made freaking working copies of my home's swords out of chakra…" He paused and looked around. "Can you make some for me please? I've been trying to become one of the 7 Swordsmen for years…"

Tenten laughed nervously. "Uh… sorry. My weapons aren't permanent and they aren't as strong as the originals. I can only make them last at most for an hour or more before they fall apart on themselves." She paused. "Oh right… the whole making copies of the 7 Swordsmen's swords thing…" She grimaced as she saw the small flicker of irritation in Suigetsu's eyes.

"No, don't mind me. Please ignore the fact that my brother was the only person in history to master all of Kiri's 7 swords until you came along…" The boy aridly and sarcastically ranted.

Tenten frowned. "Oi. Don't try to pull that guilt shit on me, water boy. I don't have that weird ass water ability of yours, but you don't see me rubbing it in your face for free favors. I have an obnoxiously loud teammate who can't use anything but taijutsu that runs around in nothing but tights and leg warmers, and a teammate who up until recently was a stuck up prick with a fate complex. And DON'T get me started on the psycho of a Sensei I started off with." Her furious burning eyes were more than enough to intimidate the now unnerved Kiri shinobi. "So listen to me. If you want to talk about how awesome swords are and cool weapons you've seen recently, I'm all ears, but if you start trying to guilt me into doing things for you, I swear I will conjure up a copy of Kubikiri Hōchō, absorb your pale ass in it, and then sell it to the nearest sketchy, dirty, two bit thug I can find. You hear me?"

"Yes ma'am." The teen shivered, honestly wondering if the girl was related to the Mizukage in some way.

"Will Scabbard Ōgakari and Kurotetsu Yoshimaru please come to the arena grounds? Your match is about to begin!" The judge's voice called out clearly.

"About time…" The missing-nin moaned. "I can't wait to finally silence that annoying whelp."

Scabbard's snot bubble popped and he opened his eyes slowly. "Hmmm." He looked around. "Where's the bathroom?"

Zabuza face palmed. "You were just called for your fight, you know."

"Judge! Can you hold off the match for another few minutes?" Scabbard called out, ignoring his companion. "I need to use the rest room."

"You had a thirty minute break! Why didn't you go then?" The samurai asked incredulously.

"I was napping and didn't have to go then!" Scabbard replied loud enough for a good portion of the audience to hear him clearly, causing many of them to sweatdrop.

The samurai shook his head. "You have 3 minutes!"

Kurotetsu's eyebrow twitched rampantly. "He's making fun of me… I'm going to kill him…"

Chōjurō turned to Sasuke. "Does he normally act like this?"

Sasuke sighed. "His entire family acts like this… and that's if we're lucky…"

Darui sighed as he leaned back into his chair. Going through a mental checklist of all the shit he was going to have to report to the Raikage about, he might as well add in that the man of interest was incredibly aloof when given the chance and apparently went out of his way to annoy and or embarrass the living shit out of anyone that he didn't like, anyone that attempted to assert their authority over him… and Zabuza.

Oh, the Raikage was definitely going to have fun with this when he made his report.

He broke out of his thoughts when he saw the man in question walk casually past him with a bored look on his face. Regardless of how obscure his personality was, the man was powerful and smart… and in the world of shinobi, that not only made him a threat, but a target as well. The problem was that this guy passed off as the kind of person that could capitalize off of both with no issue and walk away with everything he had interest in and more…

Throughout his entire fight with the man, not once had he ever changed that bored, impassive, almost uninterested expression on his face. Black lightning… Storm element… nothing. Even when he was generating absurd amounts of chakra, the man looked like he was about to take a nap. It wasn't natural…

"Tenten…" Scabbard paused and looked back. "Pay as much attention as you want… but don't use any of the weapons you see in this fight just yet." A small smirk reached his face. "A good number of them are above your current abilities…"

The girl paused for a moment before her eyes widened. "N-no way… you're actually going to use… THAT? HERE?" She began to shiver.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow as Scabbard continued to walk to the middle of the arena. "Some kind of super technique or weapon that I haven't heard about yet?"

The girl swallowed heavily. "War… he's going to bring war to this fight… that's the only way I can describe it…"

All the shinobi listening to the girl with initial curiosity immediately turned their attention to the man again. The girl's ominous statement stuck into their minds instantly.

"Semifinal match! Kurotetsu vs. Scabbard! FIGHT!" The judge roared from a safe distance away.

Kurotetsu did not waste any time as he withdrew the blue green sword he had used against Aoshi and charged at Scabbard with the intent to kill. "I know your element! So long as I am attacking you with wind charged weaponry, I win!" He claimed as he charged forward at the seemingly unarmed man and swung down with the force of a massive gale, causing a large explosion.

Zabuza rolled his eyes. "Please. If that was all it took to kill the man, then there's no way he would have given me such a hard time and lived…" He paused and narrowed his eyes as he looked through the floating debris. "Oh hell, he's using that?" He moaned. "Could he at least look like he's taking this seriously?"

The dust cleared to reveal, much to the shock of those who didn't expect something like this, Scabbard holding back Kurotetsu's sword with the point of a small knife held in one hand. Around his body, small sparks of electricity were going off and outlining his body, indicating he had defended himself with the element in some way.

"What?" Hissed Kurotetsu as he tried to break through the flimsy weapon, without any results. Attempting another route, the man pulled his sword back and tried to swing again with the sword surrounded by rushing gales… only for it to once again be held back by the tip of the small knife and the wind to pass the man without damaging his clothing, causing more sparks to flare in the process. The pattern repeated itself several times but yielding the same result each time.

"You know… the definition of being retarded is repeatedly doing something the exact same way and expecting a different result." Scabbard droned mockingly.

"How?" Kurotetsu hissed as he jumped back. "My wind should have sliced you!"

"First off, if you had actually mastered that sword, you might have cut my clothing by now." The immortal shrugged. "A powerful sword alone is not powerful, after all…" He shook his head. "However, that weapon is not a powerful enough medium to generate wind techniques that are on par with my brother's regardless." He raised his dagger again. "A pebble cannot stand against a tsunami. I barely felt a breeze…" He tilted his head. "Now please come up with something more interesting… otherwise, playing with you will be boring…"

"You…" Kurotetsu growled as he reached back with his free hand to get the twin of the sword he was using. "If wind doesn't work… then how about fire!" He swung with both swords, sending a massive torrent of flames at the bored man.

Sasuke grimaced as he saw the massive attack barrel down onto Scabbard. "If it wasn't spinning and shaped like that… I would have sworn that the guy just pulled off firestorm by himself…"

The immortal roll his eyes. ' _Oh no. A giant fire attack. Whatever shall I do? I've never gone up against large amounts of fire before…'_ He mentally grumbled sarcastically as the dagger in his hand glowed a small amount before he swung it vertically. As if the man was Moses commanding the sea, a bright pillar of lightning chakra shot straight up in front of the man and split the oncoming torrent of flames in half, with each portion going around him and crashing into the walls of the arena on the other side with extreme power. The crowd and Kurotetsu were stunned as they registered what had just happened. "Please come up with something more original this time." Scabbard moaned. "Ambiguously giant formless fire attacks? Can you get any more cliché?"

Kurotetsu growled angrily as his temper rose, strangely not at all phased by his opponent's seemingly easy time of dealing with his last technique. "You are going to pay for mocking me…" He hissed as he charged forward with the two weapons in hand. His logic was fairly simple. He had two swords, his opponent had a dagger. He could attack more and had a wider range. Even if his weapon's special abilities were not working, he could at least gut the guy.

His strategy was proven to be less than efficient as Scabbard, without even trying that hard, dodged and deflected the attacking weapons. On more than one occasion, he had stopped one of the blades with the tip of his dagger and somehow guided it to intercept the swing or stab of the other.

Darui swallowed heavily as he watched the man who beat him weave casually between blows. "This isn't right. To be able to fight on that level with that dull toy…" The lightning pillar crossed his mind. "To use such techniques with something so small…" Scabbard cut Kurotetsu several times along his arms while still within a dangerous range of the man. The wounds weren't deep… but they obviously could have been. "Who is this man?"

Ting!

Kurotetsu sweat and swore as he realized that once again both his swords were pinned down and crossed at a single point held by the same obnoxious small dagger that had been bugging him to no end since the fighting started. "You…" He growled with malevolence before he jumped back and gained some distance. Scabbard simply stood in place, waiting and yawning. "I am going to enjoy ending you…" Kurotetsu growled as he sheathed his weapons on his back and flipped through several seals. "Metal Style: Great Storm of Swords…" He grinned savagely as he slammed his hands on the ground. At once, hundreds of massive swords, each at least 3 meters long, shot out of the ground and flew in a giant cloud before barreling down at lethal speeds over a very large area, making it almost impossible to dodge for the green haired man…

… The smiling green haired man…

" ** _I am the bone of my sword…"_**

The missiles collided with Scabbard's area with relentless force, once again kicking up very large amounts of dust that blocked everyone's view of the aftermath.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "That was…"

Tenten only shivered, not paying attention to the flying shrapnel. "It's starting…"

Much like an omen to start a chain of stronger omens, Tenten's words were spoken just as the dust cleared enough to give the audience a good view of Scabbard's location…

"What?" Kurotetsu blinked. "What in the world?"

Instead of a dead and maimed Scabbard lying in the middle of a field of broken weapons, the man stood calm and uninjured behind a wall made of roughly a dozen tremendous claymores all stabbed into the ground in a line, reaching at least 7 meters into the air. The blades of each of the weapons glowed with the outlines of powerful looking seals stretching down their entire lengths. Not a scratch was found on any of the intimidating weapons.

Light chuckling was heard on the other side of the wall of swords. "Hahah. Fine. I take your large swords and raise you… a wall."

"I've never seen a technique like this before…" Darui muttered as he eyed the sharp steel structure.

" **Watch carefully, Bee…"** Hachibi grunted to his container. **"This guardian of the Sky Mother was rumored to possess knowledge of all tools and weaponry ever created and imagined. A blacksmith of the highest caliber, whose work is coveted by any and all who favor the art of battle, including gods as well, if my memories from being part of the Jūbi are accurate. His words are establishing some sort of technique… and a strong one at that…"**

" ** _Steel is my body… and fire is my blood…"_**

The rest of the fighters watching shivered. They knew that it was the same brand of technique that Tenten had used in her fights… but they could tell that there was something more to this version. It felt… older. More powerful. And most importantly… more dangerous.

" ** _I have forged countless weapons…"_**

" ** _Unconcerned with failure…"_**

" ** _Nor concerned with success…"_**

Without any other indication that it was happening, dozens of copies of Kanshō and Bakuya flew out around the wall of swords and arced in the sky like two flocks of black and white birds. The sound of so many weapons spinning in the air only added to the illusion of metallic birds in flight as they barreled down on the shocked 'Shadow of Blades', who had clearly not been expecting this kind of counter attack.

"Summoning! Armory of Heaven!" The man shouted as he hurriedly rushed through several seals and slammed his hand on the ground, conjuring up the ethereal space behind him and shooting countless rounds of his own swords to counter the flying black and white boomerang like blades. The missiles destroyed one another upon contact causing the sound of shattering metal to echo in the cavern. "Is that all, you annoying fool?" Kurotetsu roared as he fired some of the larger and more distinct weapons in his arsenal, which were almost the size of the swords that Scabbard was using to defend himself with, at the man. "Die!"

The missiles relentlessly pounded the man's defenses, and it wasn't long until the sounds of the structure breaking reached the excited audience's ears. A rather large great sword with peculiar seals on it seemed to be the final push that Kurotetsu needed as it shattered two of the swords defending Scabbard, and the resulting explosion managed to take down the rest of the wall… and reveal no sign of the green haired man.

"Where is he…" Kurotetsu grunted as he looked around warily. "Show yourself, coward! Is the thought of fighting against my tools so terrifying that you hide from me?"

"Not in the slightest…" Replied a familiar bored voice to the man's side, causing Kurotetsu to turn… and see his opponent standing casually a fair distance away from him with his own salvo of swords hovering behind him ready to be launched at his opponent. "This tournament would be shamed if an idiotic _owner_ like you who doesn't even qualify to be a sword master actually won…"

Kurotetsu stepped back in shock, not expecting his opponent to use such a similar technique to his own. "Owner? What are you talking about? I am a master of blades! Look at my collection! This is proof of my title as the Kenkage! And who are you to deny someone the title of sword master when you are using a similar move to mine!"

"No." Scabbard almost frowned. "You are merely a man who possesses and relies on the strength of those unfortunate weapons. You have not mastered the use of a single one, nor do you remotely understand their nature." His eyes closed as if he was in slight pain. "When you fight, your weapons sing neither one of the songs tools can voice. I can only hear their wails of misuse and agony." His eyes opened. "I have already stated before that I am not a sword master… nor am I an owner or a faker. I am a maker." An arc of lightning shot out of him, creating a sword that flew through the air and deflected another sword that Kurotetsu had shot at him moments before hand. "… A creator of the strongest weapons that will be and have been sung in legends." More dark green electricity began to spark out of the man now, causing shadows to dance around him constantly. "Masters can truly bond with their weapons. Fakers are able to understand the purpose and history of weapons, makers understand their nature and give them form… but owners on the whole are simply conceited collectors who are too lazy to develop their own power... you are no different."

Kurotetsu frowned. "Songs? History? Nature? What sort of drug induced rabble are you spewing, you mad fool! Weapons cannot sing! They are only used to KILL!" He shouted as his missiles once again shot forward, only to be matched by the tools Scabbard had conjured himself.

Scabbard grunted as his lightning arced in the air above him, constantly producing more weapons to counteract Kurotetsu's. A dark chuckle escaped from his mouth. "I certainly was right in choosing you to become my first guinea pig for this technique… I just hope you don't die too quickly…"

A majority of the fighters in the box were definitely trying hard to determine if what they were seeing was real or not. The fact that the short green haired man was literally creating as many swords as Kurotetsu was shooting at him in midair with some sort of bizarre lightning technique was very hard swallow. Many of the stronger fighters would easily claim that this was a kage-level battle due to the amount of chakra and damage potential they were dishing out. The fact that many of the weapons being used were either well known or looked like they should have been didn't hurt their assumptions either.

Tenten's eyes widened as she saw her master's posture darken. "It's coming…" She whispered fearfully. Only Sasuke could hear her statement over the sounds of the colliding and shattering weapons.

" ** _My greatest creation will curse me with the greatest of sins…"_**

"… **_Yet I still do not know where to begin…"_**

Zabuza raised an eyebrow. ' _That was an oddly dark part… most likely has something to do with the clan's secrets. Still, it must be one hell of a problem to stump the guy…'_

"I've had enough of this!" Kurotetsu roared as he took out his fire and wind weapons and swung them with as much chakra as he could muster, unleashing a torrent of fire at least twice as large as the one he had conjured before. "Fall, damn you!"

"… ** _Thus my work is endless…"_**

"He's not doing anything to defend himself from the fire!" Karui yelled as the attack rapidly approached the man.

Tenten shook her head. "He doesn't need to."

" ** _In my footsteps lay…"_**

The Ōgakari's eyes glowed a malevolent piercing green as the inferno enveloped him…

" ** _Unlimited Blade Works."_**

A massive bolt of dark green lightning struck the exact spot where Scabbard stood, piercing the firestorm that occupied the area and seemingly lit an impossibly stronger matching colored green fire that spread out and enveloped the entire cave in its wake, causing many to scream in fright or protest, and all to lose sight of where they were for a few seconds.

When they got their bearings straight, everyone developed a dropping sensation in their stomach to some degree.

Instead of gazing upon the arena grounds inside a cave, observers instead found themselves floating above an endless dry plain that had nothing growing out of it… other than the countless swords that stuck out of the ground like grave markers. Dark green embers lazily rose from the seemingly empty pockets in the earth, as if to signify that the land itself had some otherworldly purpose. The sky itself was blocked out by a dark green inferno that spanned just as far as the field, with only a slight glimpse of the sky in the horizon to be seen in the distance. The sun, present in this borderline, was a dark bloody red, giving the sky and fire a color similar to that of poison ivy. In the distance in all directions, constant bolts of dark green lighting could be seen connecting the sky and the earth, travelling slowly across the endless fields. Out of the flames and in the far distance, immense gears the size of mountains could be seen gyrating slowly, occasionally giving off bolts of electricity of their own that stretched between one another. Small lines streaked across the turning wheels like circuit boards, giving the monstrosities an even more peculiar appearance.

"What… the fuck?" Zabuza gaped as he looked around, never in his life experiencing something like this in either a genjutsu or in reality. Even after glancing at some of the weapons near him, he could tell that a good number of them were far more advanced in power, quality, and history than his own.

 _Vajra… Gae Bolg… Caladbolg… Durandal… Buster Sword… Requiem… Blades of Chaos… Yamamoto… Muramasa… Harpe… Dainsleif… Excalibur… Gunsword… Hrunting… Master Sword… Keyblades… Masamune… Soulreaver…_ Tenten ran through the names of the weapons that she laid eyes on and countless others _,_ her mind frantically sorting out through the information that it was gathering. It was all she could do to remain conscious…

 _'This isn't a genjutsu…'_ Itachi mused as he looked around with his eyes active. '… _Did this man actually recreate the world around us? Such a fearsome technique…'_

"Welcome…" Scabbard's voice echoed, drawing everyone's attention to the only noticeable landmark in the new world they were dumped in. Sitting next to a small grave marker that rested on a small hill, Scabbard smirked and swept one arm in a wide arc. "…To my world."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as he looked at the grave marker and saw an inscription on it. _'Having crossed countless battlefields, he's invincible. That person is always alone. On the hill of swords, he gets drunk off of glory. Therefore, there is no meaning to his existence. His body was undoubtedly made of blades.'_ The Uchiha didn't know why, but for some reason he felt as if those words spoke for more than one person…

"Ōgakari! We have specifically stated that genjutsu is forbidden during the matches!" The proctor shouted in an authoritative tone.

The immortal shook his head. "I apologize… however, all of this is very much real." He picked himself up and brushed the dust off of his coat. "This is an exceptionally rare and forbidden technique called a Reality Marble. It's a jutsu that replaces the current world around the user and anyone within range with the world that is reflected in the user's soul… or heart, or mindscape, if you have a preference."

Ino's eyes widened in shock. "I-Impossible." She whispered. "My family has long since proven that taking objects out of a person's mindscape and giving it physical form in the real world is impossible. The amount of chakra needed and the manner of correctly molding it has always been shown to be beyond human… or even demon capabilities. To even establish a mindscape as detailed and well founded as this on the inside is supposed to take a lifetime of training…" She began to shiver uncontrollably. "… but to assert one's actual mindscape dominant over reality is simply absurd…"

"Everything that happens in here will remain when the technique is canceled." Scabbard continued. "I can still be harmed by his techniques, and Kurotetsu can via mine." He smirked. "The only difference is that with this… well… you'll see."

The samurai frowned. "And the audience?"

"I managed to adjust the technique so that the only ones who are fully corporal here are yourself, myself, and my opponent." He pointed up to where the ghostly forms of the audience were floating confused in the distance. "I could have only just transported the three of us… but I didn't want to rob the spectators of a good show."

"Fuck those peons!" Kurotetsu roared, snapped out of his momentary state of shock as he launched another wave of swords at his opponent, despite the fact that the judge was right next to him… only to swear in irritation as a small section of swords from the ground shot up from their resting places and intercepted the attack blade for blade.

"I suggest you step back…" Scabbard sighed as he walked forward, seemingly causing all the weapons he was near to float gradually into the air and point at the near insane man.

"You…" Kurotetsu grunted as the membrane of weaponry behind him expanded to a very impressive size and revealed more missiles. "I just thought you were some nameless buffoon… but you have truly proven yourself to be a menace to my legacy…" He put on an insane grin. "At least you will serve a purpose…" He took a broadsword from his back, a dark steel blade with several runes on the edge. "People will be praising me for this battle for years after I win and take your tools…!"

Zabuza swallowed heavily. ' _He's finally going to fight seriously now…'_

(A/N: Once again, a rare cue epic music scene: Emiya: Kenji Kawai Version)

The man's tirade was suddenly interrupted as a horrendously overwhelming feeling overcame him. Thousands, millions… a limitless number of eyes, each with an overwhelming power behind them were staring at him angrily from all angles, each with intent to kill him. "I have been patient with you long enough." Scabbard frowned and slowly walked forward. "You are facing the wrath of a world possessing an infinite number of the finest blades ever conceived. Many are copies of the originals. Others are designs I have yet to actually make, yet not once have I taken their existences for granted."

The man reached down and grabbed the handles of two swords that were embedded deep into the ground, withdrawing them to reveal the black and white feathered weapons he had used against Darui. Scabbard doubled his Presence, forcing his opponent to nearly drop to his knees. "Do you hear them, little jester? Do you hear the sound of my swords' singing?" Those that could hear his questions paused and shivered as they registered the fact that there was a chorus of metallic ringing noises echoing all around them. "This world is the only place where one can hear the symphony of the battlefield and the forge from the same blades at once. This is where my weapons are truly at their strongest." He swung the blades in a testing manner with deceptive strength and dexterity before taking a stance that hid half his face from his opponent.

"So come, Shadow of Blades… and pray you have enough weapons in stock."

Kurotetsu answered with a bloody roar as he and his arsenal of weapons surprisingly charged forward with the intent to kill the man who stood defiantly in front of him. The projectiles were answered in kind by the world's infinite stock of weaponry. Blade for blade, the remains of each dueling tool rained down from the sky like a monsoon, only for each shard to disappear as it returned to its origin, ready to be reused again moments later.

While the sky became the battleground for a war without soldiers, the ground itself played the role of the arena for Kurotetsu and Scabbard, who were dancing around one another with their respective weapons.

 _'His performance has improved.'_ Scabbard mentally commented as he swung with Kanshō, only to miss and dodge Kurotetsu's counterthrust. ' _That sword enhances his physical ability and attacking power with seals. It is also vibrating to enhance its cutting power. 100 kHz. Not bad. But still nowhere near enough.'_

"I am going to kill you…" The enraged man claimed savagely as the two dueled, not at all noting that his opponent did not seem to be intimidated or strained in any way. Their blades clashed once more with a loud series of ringing. "I will win this tournament…" He tried to decapitate the man, only to be blocked by that infernal white sword. "I will be worshipped…" He tried to outmaneuver his slower opponent with raw speed, but he could not seem to do so and got cut on the side instead. How was this man holding back his two handed strike with one arm? "I will start my own village… and it will be greater than all of the great 5 villages! … I will be the strongest in the world!"

His tirade was cut short when his opponent cross slashed him across the chest and kicked him all the way back to his summoning. "I'm still waiting for you to say something moderately intelligent." The immortal sighed.

"Bastard…" Grunted the man as he slowly picked himself up and turned to his collection. "I guess I'll have to…" His train of thought was interrupted rudely as suddenly the opposing wave of weapons he was holding off nearly tripled in numbers instantly and completely overwhelmed his supposedly unbeatable summoning within a second. The man barely managed to get out of the way before his ace was utterly destroyed by the overwhelming force and exploded in a shockwave. Before he could even respond, several narrow swords had shot at him from another direction and cut off his vest coat, and thus any scrolls that he had been carrying, effectively taking away any swords he had on him in the process. "WHAT?"

"I have disarmed you completely, and your metal ninjutsu doesn't stand a chance against me." The bored looking short man yawned. "I've been playing with you the entire time. Give up."

"This guy isn't human…" Suigetsu shivered.

"You can say that again…" Chōjurō whimpered. "I've never seen or heard of a technique like this before… let alone most of the weapons here…"

 _'Raikage-sama's going to have a fit when I tell him about this. Making deals with suspicious people is one thing… making deals with suspicious people that are as strong as a kage are another…'_ Darui frowned. He glanced at Kurotetsu and saw the man was acting oddly. ' _What now?'_

"Fine…" Kurotetsu growled standing up and revealing that he was going through a long list of seals. "I was not planning on using this technique since it would get me disqualified… but I don't give a damn any more…" He clasped his hands together and spiked his chakra. "Metal Style: Great Hydra!"

The audience gasped as the ground around Kurotetsu morphed and erupted skyward, molding and weaving itself until it finally stopped in the form of a massive scaled serpent with multiple heads, made completely out of some silver like metal.

"Oh no… a giant monster… how original." Scabbard deadpanned.

"Hahaha!" Kurotetsu's voice laughed out loud from the monstrosity. "This technique was one of the strongest from my clan's archive before they were wiped out! My scales are strong enough to block against any weapon! I am invincible! I am…"

"An idiot." Scabbard interrupted as the floating swords returned to the earth and he stabbed the black and white weapons he was using into the ground again, prompting all the heads to glare at the man curiously.

"An idiot? And what makes you say that?" Growled the center head.

The immortal responded by reaching down and picked up a rough and massive looking handle from the earth, withdrawing a tremendous stone sword axe hybrid. The roughly hewn and chipped edge shone with a menacing black edge, hiding the blood that it must have shed in its use. Lifting the massive weapon with one hand with ease, the shadow of the axe covered the man's features other than his glowing yet still bored eyes. (A/N google: nine lives blade works, for a reference picture).

"This is a world filled with weapons of the greatest caliber. More than half of them are famous and designed for this exact kind of situation, you twit. This axe sword, for example…" He swung it back. "It belonged to a man who decapitated a hydra with 100 heads simultaneously…"

All of the monster's eyes widened as they got what the man was hinting and in a heartbeat rushed forward in an attempt to kill the man before he used whatever technique the massive weapon he was using did. "I won't let you!"

"Too late." Scabbard whispered and swung the weapon that had suddenly burst with energy. "Nine Lives…"

Much like its name indicated, 9 dragon like beams of light erupted from the massive weapon and struck the charging monster, engulfing it in a pillar of raw chakra and power that seemed to tear the shrieking creature apart with no trouble at all. The intense light blinded everyone in the room for a good few seconds… before the observers found themselves sitting in the cave in Iron once more… watching the metal beast in front of them fall apart in pieces.

"Damn bastard went overboard again…" Zabuza grunted, clearly aware that he was shaking. "He could have just done something like that at the start…"

"He… couldn't…" Tenten replied, shaking more than anyone else. Her mind had been absolutely flooded with all the weapons she had seen, and so she was in a bit of a state of shock at the moment. "Unlike me… he can't replicate techniques of weapons he isn't used to using…. He can only do it when Unlimited Blade Works is up…" Her shivering continued. "But… to still be able to create that many weapons…" She held her head in her hands. "So… many weapons…"

"Tenten!" Sasuke shouted as the girl staggered to the side and began to breathe heavily.' _Shit. She must have been overloaded from seeing so many new strong weapons at once. She can't handle it.'_

"Winner by knockout and by disqualification! Scabbard!" The judge roared as he and several other samurai in the area rushed to the spot where the 'hydra' was now nothing more than a large pile of metal. Kurotetsu had broken enough rules and had shown himself to be so unstable that they weren't leaving anything to chance…

Scabbard on the other hand casually walked around the downed monstrosity until he found what he was looking for. Picking up his opponent's sword laced coat and the scrolls he had shot away earlier and storing them in his own coat, the man turned around. "I'm taking myself out of the tournament." He called out to the judge, causing the man to nearly trip over an outcropping of metal.

"Wh-what!" The man and several spectators shouted in shock.

"I came here for another purpose, and I achieved it. I have no need to go any further." The man cryptically answered before turning to the crowd. "If any of you have been robbed by my recent opponent or wish to purchase any of my wares, please come see me outside the main entrance of the arena, where I will have a small stand set up! Please keep in mind that I will stab anyone who attempts to lie and claim ownership of a sword that is not theirs! If you are unable to find me before I leave Iron, you can frequently find me at my home in Konohagakure! Thank you!"

The audience blinked, clearly confused as they watched the man exit the arena grounds without a second glance. In the past 20 minutes, they had seen said individual cut a fire storm with a small dagger, summon them all into a world filled of swords, and destroy a giant hydra like metal monster with a single blow… but this clearly threw them for the biggest loop of all.

"My head…" Ino moaned. "Why? Why the hell can't anyone from that clan be normal for once? Why?"

"You're still asking that question?" Neji sighed.

Thump. "Ow." Thump. "Ow."

"Kiba, please stop banging your head against the wall." Hinata rubbed her forehead. "You're only making my headache worse…"

" _Hey guys! Guess what?!"_ Naruto's chipper voice asked his teammates on their radio.

"Naruto, I swear this had better be important or I'm going to see how strong that immune system of yours really is… thoroughly…" Ino growled with enough killing intent to make it known over the radio.

" _Don't have a cow, Ino. I was just going to say that I made bets on the tournament so far… and I've been calling them right the entire time! I won almost 30 million ryō!"_ Naruto's voice replied happily.

Silence.

… Thump! "OW!" Thump! "OW!" Thump! …

"Neji! You stop too!"

o. o. o.

Outside the arena:

Scabbard sat on top of several spread out sheets that displayed his wares. Surrounding his makeshift shop was a ring of privacy seals that prevented people from leaving with his possessions without his permission.

Patiently waiting for his customers, the man did not have to wait long before footsteps were heard. Looking at the face of his first visitor, the man could not help but put a small grin on his face. "Welcome. I've been expecting you…"

o. o. o.

Omake (Watch the stuff on epic meal time on youtube to fully get the joke):

Why Shadow is never allowed to cook:

Tsunade was happy. Her paperwork was done for the day, Shizune was out doing medical work, and she had a bottle of some of her favorite brand of booze… which was already halfway empty.

"Ahh… I'm nice and buzzed and all alone." The woman grinned, propping her feet onto her desk. "As long as Jiraiya doesn't pop up and do something stupid, I can honestly say that nothing comes to mind on what could ruin my day…"

Due to her intoxicated state, the woman didn't notice the red eyed figure standing behind her grinning savagely...

Outside:

Waltz frowned as he saw Shadow standing outside with a pad and paper, looking as if she was waiting for something. "Do I even want to ask?" He asked in a pained tone.

"GHAAAAAAA!" Roared a thunderous, surprised, and clearly pissed voice from the Hokage's tower, grabbing everyone's attention, as did the explosion originating from where Tsunade's office was located caused by something launched out of it at high speeds. It took a few seconds, but the mysterious object crashed onto the ground and skidded to a stop in front of the two Ōgakari… revealing it to be none other than Crypt.

"Well?" Shadow asked curiously.

"… Crazy alcohol rainbow pig…" The severely wounded man wheezed out loud.

"Interesting…" Shadow mused as she wrote the information down on her pad. "Tsunade tastes like a chili four loco…"

"Shadow…" Waltz growled from behind the woman menacingly. "I thought we told you what would happen if you continued that cannibal's guide to the multiverse project of yours…"

"All I do is in the name of Scienceeeeeeee!" The woman shouted as she was launched into the sky…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Sorry if the chapter was a bit Scabbard centric… but I really… REALLY like anything to do with Fate/Stay Night, and UBW is simply too epic to not splurge a bit. I assure you, his role for the story is significantly smaller after this chapter.

It took me a while to write this chapter. Thinking of how the fights would develop as well as some future plot devices took a while. I also had to cut out a lot of talking because well… there was too much. The problem with chapters like these is that the epicness cancels out a good portion of the funny. Nothing wrong with either, but it's hard to do both at the same time.

So I'm graduating College in a couple of weeks… ugh… god I don't want to deal with the real world yet.

Latest thoughts on the Naruto manga and anime (ch 536, ep 208): Manga wise, I'm still pissed that Hinata has not talked to Naruto at all yet, but there being a war and all it's expected. Also, Holy Fuck Gedo Mezo already? I was expecting Gaara's fighting or the resurrected jinchūriki to come out before that!

Anime wise, once again, from the preview of 209, I can tell that the good animators once again were holding out for Sasuke's fights… AGAIN. Not that the fighting is bad… but when the hell is Naruto going to get decent animations? Seriously. It's really fucked up in how they're boning the main character here.

So Sage of Seals is back doing Naruto Reads Naruto, doing a double update. Review his stuff if you have the time. It's good stuff.

As for betas… or people who want to beta… even if I get one, I'll probably forget half the time to send them the files or get so impatient that I just update anyway to get this stuff out of the way… Sorry for that. I'm really just that lazy.

So Review! Worship the Log! Imagine what your favorite characters really taste like! And Review again!


	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 65: You know… I find it amusing that the first chapter I write as a college graduate is the chapter that breaks the 1M word mark. I seriously didn't plan for it to happen. *Raises a glass.* So here's to the first decent Naruto fic that broke the mythological 1M mark and to my diploma in electrical engineering! Now someone break out the hookers and let's get this party started.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

In a forest somewhere in Konoha:

It was a fairly typical sight in a shinobi training ground. Craters. Stray kunai. Ghost laying beaten and bloody pinned and tied to a tree…

"Whyyyyhyyyhyyyy?" The injured man wept in pain as the snake holding him in place tightened enough for him to hear some of his bones creek.

"You were ignoring us." Hana sighed, pretending to ignore the fact that her triplets seemed to enjoy the man's state far more than they should have. "Of course we were going to take advantage of your distraction…"

"Care to explain what was so interesting that you stopped in place while we were chasing you in bloody wrath for covering yourself in our underwear and walking around in public?" Anko growled with a hint of curiosity. Despite the satisfying maiming the woman gave her boyfriend, she was somewhat concerned that something had actually distracted the man from avoiding said maiming. It would have had to have been something pretty big in order to actually completely hold his attention enough for them to get a hold of him.

The immortal grunted childishly as if he was thinking and tilted his head to the side. "… Oh… you know… just thinking about how much damage I must have done to Hana's mind in order for her to actually get that pair of frontless AND backless leather panties that I was wearing as a failed eye patch… Ah, that brings back my pirating days… I be patch-less the pirate, arr… bring me a spyglass and some ben-gay arrrrr…" He put on a thoughtful look. "You know… considering I took only the most interesting pieces from your drawers and you were both coming after me… people are going to come to the conclusion that at least some of them are yours… or that you were helping out Anko again…" He grinned. "…And that I am the greatest, luckiest bastard on the face of this planet."

No sooner had the man spoken then said woman instinctively activated her clan's partial animal transformation technique and walked slowly to him with her claws extended and her recently developed Presence flaring on full blast. "Oh there's been some damage, Ghost-kun… and there'll be plenty more soon enough…"

 _'Damn it Scab! You just HAD to get excited about something TODAY, didn't you?'_ The struggling man mentally screamed in his head as he prayed that whatever he imagined Hana was going to do to him would hurt less than it was probably going to…

o. o. o.

Iron:

"I can't believe it…" Kisame chuckled disbelievingly as he and Kakuzu stood a fair bit away from where a familiar whiskered blonde was laughing maniacally in front of another pile of cash, surrounded by both spectators and samurai to prevent said spectators from killing the blonde and stealing his money. "The brat really is here…" He turned to Kakuzu. "How the hell did you know it was him? I only ranted about his use of the clones…"

Kakuzu frowned. "Let's just say that the brat wasn't the first person to have the Kyūbi's chakra in him… and that occasionally there are signs for a person holding some of it." The heart stealer knew that some of his personal information was known throughout the group, but he wasn't going to tell them that he was old enough to have fought the First Hokage. There were already too many annoying jokes coming from Hidan about his abilities. He didn't need Deidara, Kisame, and that childish half of Zetsu to add to the fire.

The shark man grinned. "So shall we get him now?"

"Here? Now?" The elder to the two raised an eyebrow. "Of course not. We need to talk to Leader to get our priorities straightened out, not to mention that making an enemy of Iron now is just as bad as making an enemy with the shinobi nations. With you in your current condition and knowledge that Itachi is here, the brat and the other Konoha shinobi are probably going to be taking precautions…" His eyes narrowed. "Especially since we are dealing with that unknown factor…"

"That Ōgakari guy, right?" Kisame nodded. He didn't want to admit it, but the blue man knew that the short man would alone prove to be enough to be trouble for one member of their group if they paid attention to him… possibly all of them if he set that bizarre sword world technique of his off. It didn't help that Samehada was practically getting high off of the dregs of chakra the man let off during the second fight.

"Yes." Kakuzu agreed. "But since we were also tasked with taking out the Kumo shinobi as well, we would have to deal with a user of black lightning and a skilled kenjutsu fighter as well…" He closed his eyes. "There are too many targets and not enough information… that is why we will speak to Leader about this and prioritize what we have to do… regardless of what decision we make, we will most likely act outside of Iron's borders to ensure that we do not draw unneeded attention…" He turned and walked away. "Let's watch the last fight so that we can at least see if we can find any more about our targets…"

Kisame snorted before following the man. "Yeah, yeah… it would be nice if Zabuza did something useful for once and maimed the guy to make things easier… but from the way this shitty mission's been so far, it isn't likely."

o. o. o.

In the arena:

"So it looks like the winner of this gets the title…" Zabuza commented casually as he and Bee walked up to the center of the arena. "You wouldn't happen to want to drop out, would you? I kinda need the cash from winning to have some control over my life again…"

"No can do, mothafucka. No matter how sappy your story is, I gotta win in order to protect myself from my crazy assed brotha…" Bee grinned while sweating at the same time.

"I thought you came here against his wishes?" Zabuza asked curiously.

"Duh. Slap the foo in the face with some good news to counter the bad… and there's a chance I won't spend the next two months in a cast in my pad…" The darker man rapped.

"Sounds like the brat's relationship with Tsunade…" The water user grunted to himself as they stopped in the middle of the arena.

"Oi… just makin' sure she's all right… that girl of yours that made it to the final fight…" Bee asked curiously as he nodded his head to Tenten. Ever since Scabbard's fight with Kurotetsu ended, the girl had been in a small state of shock, almost as if she was not even aware of the world around her. If it weren't for the fact that she responded to most of the questions she was asked, most people would assume she was unconscious with her eyes open. This was over 40 minutes ago since it took some time to remove Kurotetsu's metal hydra body from the field. Even after he was dead, the man was still being a pain in the ass. At the moment, Sasuke was watching over her to make sure she didn't hurt herself or others.

"She's fine. If she weren't, the short one would have come back already to check up on her." Zabuza shrugged as he grabbed his massive sword and took a stance with it. "Now if you're done being a pedophile, I suggest you worry about yourself more than the girl."

Bee frowned as he flipped his 5 remaining swords into the air and caught them in his joints and mouth. "That jab was more rank than cold… I'm gonna have to pay you back for that…"

"Go Sensei!" Karui roared. "Kick his masked ass!"

Suigetsu snorted. "Hey Chōjurō, check it out. Eyeless vs. Faceless…"

Chōjurō sighed. "Suigetsu, that really wasn't necessary…"

"Final match!" The Proctor roared, silencing everyone within hearing distance once more. "Bee Killer from Kumogakure Vs. Zabuza Momochi from Konohagakure! Winner shall be awarded the title of strongest swordsman in the Elemental Nations and a prize of 10 million ryō! The loser, should he survive, will receive a prize of 1 million!" He jumped back to avoid possibly getting killed. "FIGHT!"

Zabuza wasted no time rushing forward to deal the first blow against the surprisingly calm Bee and swung down with a great deal of strength. The attack kicked up a fair amount of dust and was felt by a good deal of the audience, but it soon revealed, to many people's shock, Bee holding two of his swords in his hands and defending against the offending massive sword. It would have almost looked easy if the small trembles in his arms didn't give away the pressure he was under.

"Not… bad… ya foo…" Bee grunted. "But ya still ain't strong enough to top the Bee…"

"Is that so?" Zabuza almost chuckled eagerly as he flared his Presence, once again displaying a massive demon behind him for everyone to see. Bee almost died right then and there as the surprise of the image combined with the monstrous killing intent and the surge of power behind Zabuza's push almost shattered his guard. Fortunately, the man was experienced enough to reflexively jump back in time to prevent being gutted. "I was known as the Demon of the Hidden Mist for a reason, you know…"

 _'I thought that image was just for show… but it actually does seem to increase his skills and abilities quite a bit…'_ Bee mused as he noticed that the weapons he had defended himself with were chipped. ' _That intent he had was no joke either… it was half a step from being on par with my brother…'_

" **Enough with the stupid rapping, Bee…"** The Hachibi grunted. **"It's obvious he's learned a few tricks from the weapon maker in addition to getting an upgraded sword. Since it's clear he wants to win and you can't use my chakra without telling the world you're a jinchūriki, I suggest you step your game up or else your brother really will add to your list of injuries when we get back to Kumo…"**

"Fine fine…" The black man grunted out loud before he jumped out of the way of another of Zabuza's attacks.

Streamed with water chakra and powered up by his Presence, the wrapped man clearly proved himself to be difficult for Bee to handle as the two engaged in combat again. Bee's deceptive agility and multiple weapons all but ensured the man's safety, but at the same time, the size of Kubikiri Hōchō prevented him from getting in close enough to actually counter attack. It didn't help that Zabuza himself seemed to have some 'sick' moves himself with his sword. On more than one occasion, the water user had shifted his center of mass and weight to impossible degrees with his sword and almost caught Bee off guard enough to get a hit in. In one particular instance, Zabuza had attempted to cut the jinchūriki in half vertically, only for his weapon to stab into the ground instead. When Bee had attempted to finish the match then and there, Zabuza not only pushed his weapon like a lever to block the attack, but had done so while spinning his body on the handle and using his moving sword to add to the power of the kick that he had managed to land on Bee's chest and launch the man a good few dozen feet back… which was damn impressive, considering that Bee was built like a bull… no pun intended.

"Hmph…" Zabuza grunted as he shouldered his weapon. "Is that all you have? Are you really that much weaker without help or all your swords?" ' _Jeez, they said that this guy was tough for a ninja even if he wasn't using his demon's powers, but I thought that I would be able to push him harder than this.'_ He mentally fumed. ' _Even with my Presence and streaming water chakra, he can still keep up with me, and the blows I do manage to land are almost negligible. Even Yagura would have been pressed to use some of the Sanbi's chakra under this kind of onslaught… though he technically wasn't built for close ranged fights in the first place…'_

Bee smirked. "Ya foo! My sting's wrath will leave you dyin' and the ladies cryin'! When I'm done with you, all you'll be doin is bitchin'! Ya bastard!" All 5 of his swords were now glowing with lighting chakra as the man charged forward with renewed vigor.

"God, I hate lightning chakra…" Zabuza grunted as the two men once more clashed weapons, only this time Zabuza was on the short end of the stick.

Every parry, deflection, and stalemate between the two men caused Bee's electricity to flow to Zabuza's body and numb it. Streaming water chakra helped his maneuverability and gave him some extra cutting power, but it at most only prevented half of the paralyzing effects… and since this was a jinchūriki he was going up against, that was nowhere near enough to simply ignore. Apparently calling up a person's Presence was supposed to also help increase a person's natural defenses against these kinds of things as well, but Zabuza knew he wasn't that good with his just yet. The best he could use his for at the moment was for some intimidation, increasing the quality of his chakra, and some slight strength augmentation. He couldn't use that high water pressure trick from the previous fight against Bee either. The technique required too much concentration to use against nimble opponents like the jinchūriki. Within 20 seconds, there was already a distinct change in Zabuza's movements, allowing Bee to get in some clean cuts on his opponent, and the frequency was only increasing as time increased.

 _'Water explosions…'_ Zabuza swung his sword, only to twist and pull it back in time to deflect two opposing swings from taking out his side and shoulder respectively and getting a shock in his body instead.

 _'_ … _Not against lighting elements. Shockwaves…'_ He stabbed the sword into the ground and pivoted around it to avoid Bee's onslaught and managed to punch the man in the face and gained some more distance, only to collapse on one knee and pant heavily.

 _'_ … _Too agile and fast, wouldn't work. Torrents… could work, but would use too much water and chakra, plus concussive blows don't seem to do much damage against this guy. Needs to be a cutting blow… Can't overpower or outmaneuver him either…'_ He grimaced as Bee charged forward again. _God damn it…_

"WHEEEE!" Bee roared as he practically flew through the air towards his downed opponent, attempting to capitalize on the man's lack of mobility to finish the fight. He could see that Zabuza's control was getting shaky as there were some small chips in his massive sword. The jinchūriki made sure to pump in extra chakra into his weapons to make sure that he dealt more damage to the weapon if it was used as a shield and numb his opponent even more. Sure enough, Zabuza swung in retaliation, if only to make sure that Bee wouldn't follow through with a swift second assault if he defended…

What he didn't expect was for Zabuza's weapon to change chakra in mid swing, plowing through and destroying two more of his swords and leaving a fairly deep gash in his chest before he managed to get away hastily and try and figure out what happened.

"I. Fucking. HATE. Fighting lightning users…" Zabuza grunted as he picked himself up again, not bothering to pay attention as his sword drank from the blood it had spilled and repaired some of the damage Bee had done to it earlier… all the while surrounded by a faint, almost invisible layer of chakra…

"Ya… bastard…" Bee grunted as he put a hand on his chest to slow down the bleeding. The Kyūbi was the only bijū that enabled its host to heal rapidly, but other jinchūriki were known to heal somewhat quicker as well. The cut on his chest was indeed a significant wound, but not something that would end the fight for him. "That was wind chakra…"

"I was a jōnin before I left Kiri, brat. It shouldn't be surprising that I know how to make more than one element." The assassin grunted as he picked himself up. "… Though I hate to admit it, I'm only somewhat good at this one…" His eyes narrowed. That was only part of the reason why he didn't want to use his secondary element here. First of all, until then, not even many people in Kiri knew about his second element. To showcase it here in front of god knows how many people was just asking for more wannabes to come and try to take his head while claiming that they had figured out all his tricks. Then came the fact that he really wasn't that good at it. Hell, he was even worse before he had found Haku. There was a reason why the girl could use her bloodline so well despite the fact that she knew mostly water techniques. Training the girl to master her bloodline also helped him out with the fickle element a bit, but not much. After all, those who couldn't do, taught…

Which landed him on the third reason why he didn't like using wind techniques… Haku always rubbed it in his face, albeit in her own subtle way, whenever he had to rely on the element claiming that he would have been long since dead if he didn't find her… and since his opponent was a jinchūriki… oh, she was going to have a field day when she got word of how this fight turned out…

Bee's eyebrow twitched. "Brat?" Despite his injuries, the man jumped up and pointed accusingly at Zabuza. "The hell? I'm 33, ya foo!"

The words the man shouted echoed throughout the room, causing many to gape at the last one to speak in disbelief.

"Oh… for… why…" Karui wept before walking up to the closest wall and banging her head against it.

"He forgot that Raikage-sama told him not to tell others outside the village about his age…" Darui sighed in resignation. "I would have ordered him to do that too, considering the way he acts… he technically looks like he could pass for his miditwenties…"

Sasuke patted the embarrassed Atsui on the shoulder understandingly. "Don't worry. We have one too… only ours screams about youth…"

Zabuza blinked several times before rubbing his forehead. "At least he isn't wearing spandex…" He sighed to himself, knowing that he should have expected something like this by now. "Okay… so you're going senile early… fine… this is fine… why shouldn't it be fine? This just proves that the crazy isn't all in Konoha and I'm not the only one suffering…"

"Uh Chōjurō… is it me, or does Zabuza look like he's half a step from going on a mass murdering rampage?" Suigetsu asked his teammate nervously.

"I don't know…" The blue haired boy whimpered. "But I do remember Mizukage-sama having that expression on every once in a while…"

"Oi bro, you chill? Your eye's twitchin' like you're on the pill or somethin'…" Bee cocked his head confused.

"Oh don't worry… this only happens when I'm encountered by large amounts of surreal stupidity." Zabuza replied with a rampantly twitching eyebrow. "So long as anyone doesn't do anything impossibly retarded with me knowing… it should go away in about 10 minutes…"

"Ouch…" Bee grimaced. "Bro has the same condition for some reason… small world…"

"No kidding…" Grunted Zabuza sarcastically as he readied his sword again. "Back to business. You have 3 swords left and a huge gash in your chest. Do you still think you can win, or are you just being as stupid as your lyrics?" While he didn't show it, Zabuza had used the brief pause in the match to circulate his chakra quickly in order to cancel out some of Bee's lightning chakra. With the help of the reserves in his sword, he had managed to regain a fair amount of control over his body. The reduced number of swords he was going up against also improved his mood slightly. It was still a difficult style to deal with, but at least he wasn't going up against a bizarre amount like 5 or 7 now.

The jinchūriki smirked as he flicked the swords in his joints up into the air and caught them in his mouth and two hands respectively. "Man, this scratch ain't doin' shit to me the all mighty Bee…" The chakra in his blades glowed brighter to the point that they were pure white now. "You got a style that's pretty phat, but now I'm gonna put you down, brat…"

"Even if you are older than me… it's creepy as hell when you call me that…" The wrapped man sighed before he focused on his opponent again. ' _I really don't like how much chakra he's pumping into those blades of his. I can practically feel my hair starting to stand and smell the ozone from here… It's almost as if I'm facing down Kakashi's Raikiri all over again…'_ Zabuza mused as the two men glared at one another.

" _I remember back in ANBU being told that real masters of their element can overwhelm people with the stronger respective element if they achieve a certain level of pure composition higher than their opponent, even if they pump the same amount of chakra into the attacks. My wind composition is a bit rusty… and with less weapons, the guy will be able to put the entirety of his body behind his attacks now… and with his element, there's a good chance that he might be able to cut into Kubikiri Hōchō, wind composition or not…_ His stance widened. _If that's the case…_

"Hey Suigetsu… why isn't Sempai using Kirigakure?" Chōjurō asked curiously. "He'd have the advantage if he did…"

The taller of the two shook his head. "Don't you remember? Kumo developed a counter for it during the Second War for lightning users. If you generate enough light in the mist, even if they can't see you, there'll be shadows coming off of everything in the mist. It would be easy to pick out everything moving inside…" He crossed his arms. "It's kinda like walking into a dusty attic with a few holes in the roof during the day. You can actually see the light coming in reflecting off the dust in midair and trace it to the source easily..."

Before he could continue, the two men once more charged to kill one another.

Zabuza was now using wind element composition to counter Bee's lighting. He may have lost some of his control and maneuverability by doing so, but it was better than getting zapped every time their blades met. Luckily, the large cut he had dealt to Bee had slowed the man down a bit, preventing him from using some of his more colorful moves. Still, the jinchūriki was strong as hell, and without bothering to juggle 7 weapons all the time, he seemed to have an even stronger stance to his style than ever, evidenced by how loud their weapons clashed against one another inside the cavern.

Bee smirked as he saw his blades slowly cutting through Zabuza's sword despite its wind element layering. "Damn, I'm sick. Cuttin' up your sword chip by chip. Don't slip, or ya just might get whipped!" He spun on his side and attempted to use a combination of slashes to take down his opponent. Every hit was aimed to slowly and gradually wear away at Zabuza's stamina and center of balance. The water user may have had range and he was extremely experienced, but Bee was still slightly faster and more agile. After what seemed like an eternity to both men, Zabuza faltered for a fraction of a second after deflecting another lightning quick strike from Bee, leaving the man slightly over extended…

… It was all Bee needed…

Faster than most people could follow, the big man closed in with his smaller and more maneuverable blades primed to cut into the man's body all at once through the opening that had been made…

…It was all Zabuza needed…

Flaring his Presence to levels that dwarfed anything he had used before, the large man pulled back his blade to defend himself from all three attacking weapons…

…Without it being covered in wind chakra.

The sound of screaming metal reached everyone's ears as the three blades bit deeply into unprotected sword, sending electricity coursing through the wrapped man's body. Despite the amount of chakra Bee had channeled into his weapons, Kubikiri Hōchō was still a very famous (and big) weapon for a reason, and it's recent tempering by the dimension travelling immortal only added to that. Instead of being cut through almost cleanly, the blue tinged weapon was merely getting cut through at a fairly slow pace. Zabuza could barely think, let alone feel his body. It was as if someone had threaded his body with several white hot strings and was pulling them constantly in and out of him. However, despite the painful state he was in… he still held on as if possessed and roared demonically as he savagely twisted his weapon and snapped all three swords before swinging it again and giving Bee a gash across his chest to match the one he had received earlier.

The cavern was silent as everyone processed the dozens of events that had happened in less than a few seconds. Those who couldn't follow the fighting blinked in confusion. Many of those who could only gaped in awe.

Bee smirked as he collapsed to one of his knees in front of the panting Zabuza, who had turned his favorite weapon into a crutch. "Damn…" Was all the black man could muster saying as his front wept red tears. Turning to the proctor, he slowly nodded his head, giving the man all the information the man needed.

"Winner! Zabuza Momochi!" The samurai announced loudly and clearly to the entire room…

o. o. o.

Kushina smirked in her seat. Visually, it had been less impressive than the previous fights, but from a technical standpoint, one could say that this was the best match so far. The styles were fundamentally different, yet the execution was remarkably similar. Both men took their time trying to get around the other's defenses while relentlessly trying to prevent the other from creating a plan of their own. "It was a good fight, wasn't it?" She asked her neighbor in a calm tone. She waited for a moment before turning to see that the member of Akatsuki was gone. "I figured as much." She sighed and shrugged before casually getting up and making her way to the exit along with the rest of the audience. "Hope you enjoyed the taste of the pocky at least…" She mused. "Even if the medicine tastes good going in… there's no doubt it's gonna be hell when it comes back out."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in an unspecified cave:

"What is it?" Ordered a rather irritated phantom as it stood in front of 5 others.

"The Kyūbi jinchūriki is in Iron." Kakuzu grunted, getting straight to the point. "As it stands, right now there are too many objectives in Iron to simply do one at a time…"

"The Kyūbi?" The leader frowned. "This is unexpected…" He glanced at Kisame and Itachi… the latter of which was actually moving for once. "Is something the matter, Itachi?"

"I… seem to have caught something here…" The youngest of the group droned, but the rest could detect a faint hint of strain in his voice.

Hidan laughed. "Poor fool's been exploding from both ends all night."

"And he still looks more dignified and respectable than you do." Kakuzu blatantly stated.

"Kakuzu, can you at least stitch his mouth shut while we're in ear shot of one another?" Kisame mused and growled at the same time. "It would make working with him so much easier…"

"Oi! I don't want to hear shit coming from the guy who got his ass beat and his arm cut off today!" The Jashinist roared.

"… I knew that I may have caught something on the way here… however, I assumed that it would not turn into the issue that it is…" Itachi droned before shifting again and bowing. "With the medicine I got earlier… It should clear up by tomorrow… Please excuse me…"

Pain turned to Kisame, ignoring Itachi's disappearing image and Hidan's loud laughter. "You lost." He stated, not questioning whether it was true or not, but demanding the reason why.

"Little Zabuza's sword was more annoying than I thought." Kisame grunted. "Its upgrades were real, and they let him use most of his ninjutsu in the tournament while I was stuck without mine…"

"From what I could tell, it was almost as if it was made to counter you in particular." Kakuzu stated. "… But then again, maybe it just worked well enough with Zabuza's technique that it appeared that way…"

"Enough." Pain stated as he looked at Kisame and the spot Itachi had occupied. If their reports were true, then neither member of that group would be able to fight at peak performance the next day. The Kumo shinobi in contact with the Konoha shinobi. Zabuza. The Kyūbi jinchūriki. Gathering funds… Kakuzu was right to call for an emergency meeting, especially with the state half his forces there were in at the moment. None of them were sure what took priority at the moment… mostly because he did not really go into detail yet on what their current goals were… "Tell me in detail about the current state of the Konoha and Kumo shinobi that participated in the tournament… as well as any other Konoha shinobi rumored to be there as well…"

o. o. o.

Iron:

Bee, Darui, Scabbard, Zabuza and Naruto all sat in Scabbard's hotel room in a circle. For the most part, the men in there had a calm and focused aura around them. Bee's, Darui's, and Zabuza's injuries had all been treated shortly after the final ceremonies, where the awards were handed out. The men still retained some healing wounds, but they were for the most part able to fight. Zabuza had used some of his winnings to buy a fair amount of blood from the medical bay to repair his sword, accurately assuming that it would have been more expensive to ask Scabbard to repair it. However, as mentioned previously, it was only most of the men there that had a calm aura around them…

"Will you STOP SPARKLING, for FUCK'S SAKE?!" Zabuza roared at Scabbard, who was still counting the money he had made after he had left the arena and was indeed sparking more than a standard bishōnen would ever dream to sparkle. The man had spent a good 8 hours selling his expensive merchandise to nobles and thieves alike and it showed with the giant sack of cash next to him. In addition to his profits, his 'anti-fangirl squealing seal', which he had set up in a 20 meter radius around his store had practically fried a good 150 'abominations' before they could get anywhere close to him. Basically, anyone who squealed like a fangirl inside the area would get zapped by lighting. The louder the squeal, the larger the burns were.

He did put up a sign warning that fangirlish squealing would be dealt with extreme prejudice, to be fair…

"I can't." Scabbard replied looking up with his standard bored face despite the glitter around him. "I'm very happy at the moment."

"At least he isn't brooding or using the sunset genjutsu…" Naruto sighed.

"How's that girl of yours?" Darui yawned. "The one that can copy weapons."

"She's still unconscious." Zabuza replied, jabbing a thumb back to where Sasuke was keeping watch over her. Since the two tied for first, the prize money was split between them. They were also granted status in Iron to enter and leave as they pleased (within reason, of course), as well as offered lessons from Mifune himself if they wanted, but so far, they would have to wait to exploit those rewards. "The girl was exhausted from her fights and overloaded from Scab's technique. She's gonna be out of it for a while."

"I was hoping she would react better… however, at least she will recover soon." Scabbard sighed before turning to Naruto. "I assume that all went according to plan?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah."

"Dare I ask what the kid did?" Darui raised an eyebrow.

"It's on a need to know basis. Sorry." Scabbard answered, putting the wad of money he was counting into the giant bag of money he had next to him... after taking a deep sniff of the contents first. "God, I love the smell of a big bag of money…"

 _'This is the guy who apparently rewrote the fabric of reality earlier today?'_ Darui and Zabuza sighed while sweatdropping.

"So what's next on the plan, little man?" Bee crossed his arms curiously.

Scabbard nodded slowly as the sparkling around his head dimmed down, increased as he looked at the bag again, and then died off as he turned away. "Right. Sorry." He reached into a pocket and took out three vials of a slightly clear blue liquid and tossed it to the three other men in the room. "First order of business. Your wounds. Drink this solution tonight and you should be all healed by tomorrow morning when we leave. Make sure to keep your wrappings on in order to give the illusion that you're still hurt… and before you ask, Zabuza: no, I won't charge you for this, even if this solution is rather difficult to obtain or make. Consider it a freebie." His eyes narrowed at Darui. "Also, you have to drink the entire contents in order to get absolute results, so trying to sneak some off to the Raikage won't work."

Bee smirked as he popped the top off of his vial. "Heh. He got you, Darui…" He took a sip and blinked in surprise. "Woah. A medicine that doesn't taste like shit! That's a first."

Naruto rolled his eyes as he looked at Scabbard. "So I'm guessing that when you said we're leaving tomorrow, you meant all of us together… including my group too."

Scabbard nodded. "Yes. I have contacted the Prince and…" He paused. "…Explained the situation to him and Hinata clearly... or as much as we needed to at the moment. We will be escorted out of Iron via a large samurai guard in addition to ourselves. The trip will take roughly a day due to how close we are to the borders, even with the slow pace of the caravan. However, we will make sure to pace ourselves so that we will exit the borders by early the next day so we are not exhausted… then we will head in the direction of Land of Lighting to drop your group off, at which point we will all split. Akatsuki will no doubt attempt to intercept with us before we reach there."

Darui's eyes narrowed as he finished his bottle. "Whoa, hold on. Why are we adding more kids to the equation? Won't that simply overcomplicate things?"

"Considering many of them are clan heirs and Naruto is in charge of them, it would be more complicating if we left them alone." Zabuza responded. "Odds are that we're all travelling together in order to make sure that we know where Akatsuki is gonna strike. If we split up, we could have a real shit storm on our hands with not knowing who's going to hit who. It could easily start a war if we aren't careful." He shook his head. "I don't like it either. Actually inviting your group to be near some of the most prominent young members of the Hyūga clan isn't my idea of a smart political move…"

"Even if they were unsealed, we wouldn't do anything." Darui sighed. "The Third Raikage opened that can of worms, and we all know how that turned out. Even if we did manage to get the Byakugan, Bee and I would probably get every punishment in Kumo short of execution. So long as they don't mess with us, we won't mess with them…" He glanced at Scabbard. "The Hyūga… ARE marked, aren't they?"

Naruto smirked. "Haven't the rumors reached Kumo yet? The Hyūga have a new bloodline seal that covers pretty much every base when it comes to their eyes. Everyone in the clan has it. There's just one house now."

Darui blinked in surprise. "Really? I didn't know that." He scratched the back of his head. "Well… that's certainly something to tell everyone back home…"

"Enough about the small crap." Zabuza frowned. "How are we going to deal with Akatsuki when they arrive?" He nodded to Darui and Bee. "Bleach boy and Dr. Dunce are weaponless, and we need to make sure that the latter doesn't tell anyone he's the Hachibi container…"

The immortal nodded before reaching into the inside of his coat again. "I am well aware of that, which is why I spent the last few hours working on these…" He pulled out three boxes, one roughly 4 feet long and 2 feet wide and thick, one roughly a yard across and wide, and the last and smallest one was barely a foot and a half wide and long.

Opening the largest box first, the men were shown what appeared to be a metal club of that length. The foot long handle was laced with intricate and fine blue wrapping while the club itself appeared to be made of some kind of metal. Two columns of holes roughly 2 inches in radius pierced through the side of the metal for the bottom two thirds of the bar. The top third was itself the most bizarre, as the inside half was cut clean out, leaving only a metal spike to travel up until it stopped to match its borders.

"Its name is Raiden." Scabbard stated calmly as he pulsed a small amount of chakra into the weapon. Almost as if it were alive, the outer quarters of the weapon unfolded themselves from the club alongside the holes and melded themselves to form the front of a very intimidating cleaver, much like the one Darui used instead of a club. The clean and insanely sharp looking edge was as long as the original club, and it retained the same original shape as its predecessor, but there were some significant differences. The holes that had once been present in the club were now circular grooves alongside the edge of the blade, and the top of the weapon was now dug out to reveal the spike that was hidden in the middle of the club.

"The holes in its folded form are to enhance your Storm element should you use it in conjunction with your sword. They will enhance your beams to have more concussive force and make them a bit easier for you to make, allowing you to have to focus less on their creation. In addition to that, I have taken what I've learned from fighting your black lightning into account when using materials. This weapon will not wear under the stress from channeling large amounts of lightning chakra, including your black lighting. In addition to that…" He streamed some of his own chakra into the weapon and much to the surprise of the men there, the chakra extended from the tip of the cleaver blade and the spike to lengthen the range of the blade by a good foot. "I find that while cleaver type weapons are rather intimidating, the lack of ability to make thrusting attacks take away from their efficiency…" The blade snapped back to its original form and tossed it to Darui. "Of course, it's weighted and balanced to suit your preferences, give or take a few tweaks…"

Darui caught the weapon with his right hand and spun it a few times to get a grasp on how it felt. Surprisingly… or unsurprisingly, it felt just as natural in his hands as his old blade did. Pulsing his chakra into the tool several times, he got the feel for switching between forms. He couldn't simply flick it like he could the old one, which was slightly disappointing, but he could live with it at the moment. "Not bad…" He mused as he put his other hand on his chin and eyed the edge of the blade. "Not bad at all…"

"Moving on." The master blacksmith droned as he took out the medium sized box and opened it to reveal a set of 7 identical lethal looking blades. Each blade was roughly 2 and a half feet long with a half a foot grip that curved at a slight angle and was wrapped with black and yellow cloth. The metal of the blades themselves were a dull steel grey color, but that did not take away from how sharp the edges looked. "I call this set the Queen's Guard." Scabbard continued. "The grips are custom made to enable a strong grip for hands, yet are still able to be held by any other part of your body, and mouth, with relative ease. The metal is also extremely light and strong, and able to handle high amounts of torque, unlike your previous weapons, in addition to higher levels of chakra streaming…" He picked one up and channeled some normal chakra into it. The effects were instant, as the dull color of the weapon morphed into an extremely reflective surface, flashing some of the dull light that existed in the room clearly into Zabuza's face.

"You're doing that on purpose." The assassin grunted.

"By streaming normal chakra into your weapon, you can cause the surface to become extremely reflective. Combine this with the light around you, and your style will almost ensure that you'll blind your opponent at some point. Normally I wouldn't do something like this, but since you always wear sunglasses, I decided to make an exception. Just make sure not to do it with your friends nearby." Scabbard continued, not bothering to deny or confirm Zabuza's statement. "Due to the way the metal is made, any minor to medium scratches on the surface will clear up if you simply make it dull and then clear it up again." He returned the weapon to its dull state again before spinning it on his finger. "I also altered the balance of them so that you could throw them like boomerangs… but I suggest you hold off on trying that feature out until you get back. I know from personal experience that it takes a while to get used to them before you can use them in combat…" He put the blade back in the box before handing it to Bee along with a slip of paper. "Here's instructions on how to care for these weapons, as well as what to do if they are chipped or broken so that your local blacksmith doesn't do something by mistake. In a worst case scenario, send me a message and I'll fix it for you… for a price."

"Don't do it. He'll charge an arm and a leg for it. Trust me. I saw him actually do it once…" Zabuza sighed.

"Hey…" Naruto raised a hand. "Those weapons are nice and all… but why is there a third box?"

Scabbard snorted. "Do you honestly think that my brother would leave you high and dry without one of your signature weapons for so long?" He tossed the blonde the box. "Happy late birthday. Sorry I couldn't make it to the party, but I had other things to do at the time… it's a shame I didn't see Kiba duck taped to the ceiling…"

Naruto's eyes widened as he caught the box. Honestly, he had completely forgotten about getting a new set of talons recently with all the crap that had been going on and running all over Iron. "Th-thanks…" He blinked, not sure how to reply to what just happened. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts the teen decided not to think and just open the box already. Taking off the lid, the jinchūriki blinked before widening his eyes. "Whoa…"

"Well now… That is certainly a new look…" Zabuza mused clearly curious at what was just revealed…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Asuma sighed contently as he leaned back on a random park bench with Kurenai resting her head on his shoulder. "… I hate to admit it… but I miss training the brats…" He mused.

"Oh?" Kurenai smirked. "I thought you were pretty happy when you found out that you were the only one of us that didn't have a genin team anymore…"

"Yeah, I was… but it's kind of nice not having to do those annoying high level missions again and again." He squeezed his hand which was on his girlfriend's waist. "I mean, yeah, Shikamaru was probably the laziest person in Konoha and Chōji could have cut back on the eating… and Ino could have absorbed less of Anko's personality…"

"I agree with you on that last statement completely…" The woman chuckled. She was good friends with Anko… but one was enough for the village, thank you very much. "She's gotten better after her disastrous outburst in the Chūnin Exams… log knows how long that's going to stick to everyone's minds… but she has been getting better. In fact, she's pretty much the leader of her new team. Kiba's still too rash and impatient compared to the others, and while I suspect Sai is the most skilled out of the three, he lacks the empathy and social skills to keep everyone together…"

"Makes sense…" Asuma mused, knowing exactly what Sai's background was… "I once saw Naruto dragging that kid around town, pointing to random villagers and asking him to give nicknames…" He laughed. "Some of the ones he came up with were pretty funny… though it did get them chased around town a bit…"

"True… but I can tell that the boy is clearly hiding something…" The woman sighed. "He hides it well, but he really is too good to be a genin…"

"I'll ask dad at some point for his opinion." The smoker sighed before hugging Kurenai. "For now, let's just forget those annoying kids…" He paused as he turned his head in the direction of much laugher to see Waltz Ōgakari on a somewhat nearby bench playing with some of the local children and Crypt Ōgakari rolling on the ground like a log chasing some others at a reasonable pace. "… Both in age and in mentality…" He deadpanned.

Kurenai chuckled. "You know, you sounded like an old man that had already had kids just now…" Because of how relaxed she was, she didn't notice her boyfriend twitch slightly.

"Not yet…" He sighed. "Training those brats takes enough time for now… though I guess it is good experience for when I do have kids…"

"Yeah…" Kurenai chuckled. "I can already see it playing out. Shikamaru is the lazy uncle that comes in every other day, and Ino is the chaotic aunt that makes everything worse, dragging Chōji around with her everywhere…" She snorted. "And then Konohamaru pops up randomly to try and teach them something that you'd probably kill him for later. I still can't believe that he used… THAT technique the last time I came over for dinner…" She frowned. "I'm going to have to teach Naruto a lesson when he gets back about what is appropriate to teach academy students…"

"Yeah right, as if I'm letting those four have free reign of my home when I settle down." The Sarutobi rolled his eyes, desperately trying to forget about that particular fiasco. "At best, I'll let Shikamaru have a key so long as he doesn't tell the others that he has it…"

"Like that would prevent Ino from finding out." The genjutsu mistress stated with a deadpan expression. "It honestly horrifies me… a Yamanaka with the desire to gossip so much that she goes out of her way to find things out… if she ever went out of control…"

Asuma frowned. "Hey, Ino may be a handful at times, but she isn't that bad. And despite how she acts, she's smart enough to know to never consider using her clan's techniques to satisfy petty curiosity."

Kurenai sighed. "I know that, but sometimes she just channels a bit too much of Anko for me to be comfortable around her… I fear for Chōji's safety when the two get older…"

"On the contrary." Asuma smirked. "I think Chōji is the best person to reign her in. He has a heart of gold and a body that can take on a hell of a beating before it gives. Now all we have to do is give him some poison immunity training and he'll be perfectly safe…"

"I miss the days when they didn't know what they were doing and they were just nice almost innocent kids…" Kurenai commented before closing her eyes.

The two remained quiet for several moments.

"Does it scare you more that we are already talking like an old married couple, or that the prerequisites you listed for Chōji to be Ino's boyfriend, both of whom are only 13 mind you, are that bizarre?" Kurenai asked in a somewhat scared tone.

Asuma remained quiet for a few seconds. "It's about 40/60 for me at the moment…" It was a lie. It was more like 10/90 for him, but if he actually said that, Kurenai would probably use one of her anti-pervert genjutsu on him… or think he was sweet. He didn't want to risk it, though.

"We're getting smashed tonight." The Genjutsu Mistress stated with finality.

o. o. o.

Iron:

It was early in the morning when the Prince of Moon Country's caravan finished preparing to leave. Because the long line of carriages had only been in the city for a few days, it had never had enough time to unpack, so it did not take long to get everything set up again. Two more carriages did have to be added to the list due to Michiru going on another shopping spree the previous day and buying several sets of armor, weapons, and much to Scabbard's delight, four of his custom weapon orders.

"Hey, Sensei…" Kiba walked up to Scabbard as he finally approached the caravan again after leaving to do some more unknown activities.

"Hello, Kiba. I hear your training has been doing well." The immortal yawned. "Is there a problem?"

The boy stopped a small distance away from the man. He and Akamaru had gotten used to being around the man, but getting close to him still set their noses on proverbial fire. "Kinda. I mean, the thing is that you're travelling with us, right?" He looked back at the caravan. "How are you going to help us out when animals freak out whenever you're near them?"

Scabbard blinked before chuckling a small amount and walking past the boy lazily. "That's very thoughtful of you, Kiba… however, I already took care of that issue earlier this morning. Your worries are misplaced… but thank you regardless."

The Inuzuka blinked. "Huh? Really? But how did you do it… and if you managed the horses so easily, why didn't you do the same thing with my clan's hounds?"

The man shook his head. "That, I'll keep a secret… as for why I didn't do it with your clan… well, I didn't feel like giving your mother a reason to kill me just yet…" Messing around slightly with the brains of others to register his presence not as a threat definitely would not have earned the man points with anyone in Konoha... especially if said brains belonged to highly valued clan members.

"Kiba!" Ino shouted from a distance away. "Stop being a lazy ass and help out with the last of the packing!"

"Fine! Keep your panties on, you crazy psycho!" Kiba roared back before shaking his head. "Ugh. I really hope you have everything under control, Sensei. The only one of us that actually knows how bad the situation is is Hinata, and she won't tell us jack…" He glanced over to the Kumo team who was designated to patrolling the rear end of the caravan. "Plus with those Kumo guys here, Hinata and Neji are on the verge of snapping…" He glanced at the man skeptically. "Then there's those… things you told me, Naruto, Neji and Hinata not to tell everyone else about…"

Scabbard patted Kiba on the shoulder. "Merely precautions, Kiba. Trust me when I say that things are not as horrifically against us as you may think. For now, it would be best to do as Ino says before she makes a scene and stalls our departure."

"KIBA! Get your ass here now before I decide to neuter you with one of my special kunai!" Ino roared with no restraint whatsoever.

"Coming!" The boy ran over to the raging female blonde.

"Hmm…" Sai mused as he worked with Hinata and Naruto at another part of the caravan. "And here I thought he really was dickless… I mean, his sister is a vet, and he does appear to irritate the female population quite frequently…"

Naruto snorted. "Ah Sai, Sai, Sai… you still have much to learn about the outside world…"

"How's Tenten?" Hinata asked curiously, looking at one carriage that housed the girl and Sasuke, both of whom were still in little to no condition to fight at the moment. "I heard she has not been well since the tournament."

"Something about being overloaded from seeing too many high level weapons at once." Naruto shrugged. "From what I've been told, she should be better in a day or two." He closed the door to the compartment he had loaded his equipment into. "Were there any problems while I was gone?"

Sai shook his head. "Other than the fact that we were on high alert for our entire stay here, there have been no notable incidents. We have followed your and Hinata's orders to the letter, and so far everything has been going smoothly…"

Naruto nodded. "Good." He shook his head and sighed. "Man, this mission is taking a lot out of me…"

Sai tilted his head. "Really? I thought it would be the opposite since you won all that money from the betting pools…"

"Ah… thank you for reminding me of that, Sai-kun…" Hinata smiled happily, which in turn scared Naruto to no end as she turned to him. "Naruto-kun… was betting on the tournament while four S-ranked shinobi were loose in the same square mile really part of the plan Scabbard-sensei made to help us deal with the situation?"

Naruto guiltily looked away and sweated profusely. "M-Maybe…" He sheepishly answered.

The girl didn't drop her smile, but the hairs on the blonde's neck stood on end as he felt his girlfriend's irritation rise. "Even if it were… do you think that it is fair that you managed to get such a significant sum of money and not share it with the rest of us? After all, we had to protect Michiru-dono while you were away…"

"Wh-what are you talking about, Hinata-chan…" The boy laughed nervously. "O-of course I was planning to split the winnings with everyone. It wouldn't be fair if I didn't, after all…" He swallowed heavily. "I was planning on doing it when we got our break in Moon Country so we wouldn't get distracted…"

The oppressive feeling that Hinata gave off let up immediately, even though the smile she had on didn't change in the slightest. "Ah! Of course! I should have known you would have done that! Sorry, Naruto-kun. I shouldn't have suspected you of being selfish…" She turned to the carriage they were at and double checked the contents. "Okay then… since everything seems to be all set here, I'm going to check up on how everyone else is doing and tell them the good news… they'll be so happy to hear that they'll be getting extra money for this…" The dark haired girl walked away casually.

Naruto on the other hand was now crouched in a ball and drawing squiggles into the ground. "My ramen poooool…" He wept.

"Naruto… I believe I have a good name for Hinata…" Sai blinked, also covered in sweat. "The terrifying one…"

"Raaaameeeeennnn…" The blonde cried, not listening to Sai's epiphany…

As Sai and Hinata walked away, neither noticed that the entire time he was there, Naruto had been wearing what appeared to be new fingerless gloves that were covered in a short black fur-like material…

o. o. o.

Several hours later:

"Why are we travelling with these guys again?" Karui moaned as she and the rest of the Kumo shinobi trailed behind the last carriage as it slowly made its way south towards the land of lightning. "This is taking forever!"

Darui sighed. "Because it's better to be safe than dead, Karui. There's safety in numbers, and we and the Konoha shinobi share the same enemy in this case, so as long as we are going in the same direction, we might as well stick together. Since we ourselves are outnumbered, we're taking the back end so that the Konoha shinobi don't try anything on us…"

"Eh?" Omoi raised an eyebrow. "Do you mean that right now there's some scary guys that even Sensei can't handle?" He shivered. "Scary…"

Bee smirked. "Nah. The Bee just tryin' to make sure that the heads of you brats don't go flyin' when the big boys start playin'. Yeah…"

"You just want to take your time because you know Raikage-sama's going to kill you the second you get back home." Darui deadpanned. Seeing the way Bee flinched, he knew he had hit the nail on the head.

"Man… even though they hate us… some of these Konoha chicks are HOT." Atsui grinned. "Like that Hyūga chick…"

"Don't even try it." Karui and Omoi said at once. "We've seen her fight in the Chūnin Exams." Karui remembered. "She could probably take on all three of us at once… and she's a Hyūga, and Hyūga hate ninja from Kumo, remember?"

Atsui laughed nervously, remembering the death glare the male Hyūga gave him earlier when he had tried to approach him. "Ah… yeah… but that Yamanaka girl…"

"Also fought in the Chūnin Exams, and is as strong as any of us." Omoi shivered. "She's a crazy poison user… and since she's a Yamanaka, she can do things to our minds… what if we anger her and she gets mad and then she…"

"Just keep your mouth shut around the Konoha shinobi, okay Atsui?" Darui sighed shaking his head. "Lord knows we all want that…"

"And after the whipped cream gets into everyone's eyes, the zombie spirits of Kinkaku and Ginkaku would demand the left shoe of everyone's first born child and…" Omoi continued feverishly.

"So about the Konoha ninja…" Karui asked, clearly not caring about her teammate's panic attack. "Did you ever find out from them why these missing-nin are after Bee-sensei and that blonde kid?"

Darui glanced at Bee, who casually shrugged his shoulders. He didn't have any proof, but he had a suspicion that his ally actually did know why… but he couldn't for the life of him determine why the hell he was keeping it a secret from everyone. "No clue." He sighed. "But whatever it is has them spooked, or at least on edge enough to go all out on ensuring that we're all protected…"

"Do you think he could be… like Bee-sensei?" Omoi asked carefully, apparently done with his paranoid delirium.

Atsui rolled his eyes. "Don't be an idiot, Omoi. Of course he's not…"

Darui saw the expression on Karui's face and immediately knew that it didn't seem like such a far off idea in her eyes. "A ryō for your thoughts, Karui?"

"Well…" She mused. "It doesn't seem likely… but we did see him fight in the Chūnin Exams in Konoha…" She crossed her arms. "He could make a lot of shadow clones and high level techniques without getting exhausted, that was for sure, so he does have a ton of chakra regardless…" She closed her eyes. "Then there was that massive wind technique he used in his fight against the Hyūga girl. That definitely took more than a normal human's chakra to do…"

"Ya foo. Don't kids even pay attention to history anymore?" Bee shook his head, getting odd looks from his teammates. "The kid's an Uzumaki, bro. Uzumaki. As in those sealin' pro's from Uzu. They were known for havin' deeper reserves than an Akimichi's stomach."

"Huh…" Darui blinked. "You're right. I completely forgot about them. I thought they were wiped out in the Second War, but apparently not…" He paused. "Wait…" He glanced at Bee warily. "Did you actually come to that conclusion, or did they tell you this?"

Bee crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, ya foo. Didn't they tell you?"

Darui sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I must have missed the memo." Okay, this made perfect sense. The kid naturally had deep reserves and had been taught some kind of special wind training. Completely reasonable… then why was he still getting a nagging feeling at the back of his mind. Uzumaki… Uzumaki… why did it ring a bell? Ugh, this mission had been one big headache after another. First with the missing-nin, then Bee, then the overpowered mystery Konoha ninja, now travelling with two Hyūga… He froze. "Shit…" He grunted.

"Hm?" Omoi blinked. "What's wrong, Darui-sensei?"

The blonde man shook his head. "Nothing… nothing's wrong." He sighed. "I just remembered some random stuff about the clan. That's all…" He donned his lazy persona again. "It would be best if we paid attention. The Konoha shinobi know more about what's going on than we do… it wouldn't look good if they were the only ones who were paying attention to things…"

Further down the line of the caravan, Zabuza was walking alongside Lee and Neji.

"So it seems like you brats are holding up all right…" The assassin sighed as he stretched his limbs and hopped around a bit. "Man… I've been training Haku for years, but I still can't get used to the cold…"

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Really? I heard that island nations are rather cool most of the time due to the storms and wind they get…"

Zabuza shook his head. "The Land of Water is different. Kirigakure is built on top of a dormant volcano. It won't erupt, since the weak point in the island has shifted a good distance over the centuries, but we're still on a hot spot. Said hotspot heats up the local water so much that there's a lot of steam and fog everywhere, which is where it gets its name. Since the city is built on the inside of the volcano's funnel, it's well protected during storms." He cracked his neck. "To be honest, it's pretty much warm there year round, though it is pretty much humid as shit year round as well…"

"I see. Fascinating…" Lee mused. "But wouldn't a large enough earthquake cause the volcano to erupt again?"

Zabuza shook his head. "Even if the weak spot in the earth has shifted over a good 50 miles from the village now, the shinobi there have already taken precautions to prevent something like that from happening. Trust me on this."

"Sounds logical…" Neji sighed before activating his eyes again. "No sight of anyone following or watching us. Must be because there are so many samurai with us…"

"I dare them to try and take my money away from me..." Growled Zabuza in a hungry and homicidal tone.

"Scabbard-sensei really did work you hard, didn't he?" Lee asked curiously.

"Brat, even you and your Sensei would have been wiped out by all the shit he put me through…" The assassin grunted. "And heaven forbid you accidentally approach him from the wrong angle…" He burst into tears of joy. "But now… I'm finally free. No more debt. No more painful and demeaning jobs. I can finally buy something nice and hold onto it since I'm no longer a missing-nin. I'm… free…"

Neji and Lee sweatdropped as Zabuza began to prance around and laugh childishly.

"Neji?"

"Yes, Lee?"

"Should I ever be forced to make a decision that could land me into debt with Scabbard-sensei… please remind me of this display of youth being released after being held back for far too long."

"Only if you do the same, Lee."

"Deal."

Further down the caravan:

Ino was chasing Kiba with several kunai in hand while Sai just stood around and kept an eye out for potential threats. "Get back here, mutt! I'm going to kill you for that!"

"Do you ever get the feeling that being put on this team was a challenge from Kami?" Sai asked Akamaru tiredly as the puppy walked alongside him, abandoning his master for a safer position.

The dog barked and nodded in agreement.

Even further down the line:

"Why am I suddenly a meat shield?" Kin asked in a tired and deadpan tone.

"Because Hinata-chan wants to eat me." Naruto whimpered behind her in a paranoid tone.

"Naruto-kun, stop being silly." Hinata smiled gently. "I was just asking if you were free tonight to help me relax. I've been rather stressed from managing everyone while they're confused and thought you could give me a massage when we rest…"

"She is hungry. Do not let her camouflage fool you, or you will be devoured and cast aside like a cheap snack." The blonde hissed in a paranoid tone.

"I'm having trouble determining which one of you two is more horrifying at the moment…" Kin sweat nervously as Hinata approached slowly with her calm and gentle smile still on her face…

At the front of the caravan:

"You're doing it wrong." Scabbard stated in a lecturing tone. "It's quarter circle, b, a, b, a, up, down, right, right, down, left, b."

"Oh. Sorry. I only got up to the second right." Hikaru nodded as he attempted to input the code again into the new handheld game he was playing with the elder man. The graphics were pretty much the same as his old one, but this one could pit you up against other players and so far he was determined to beat the strange man at least once… or learn that cool move where the character froze time and dropped a steamroller onto his opponent.

""Heeeh? That sure looks like fun…" Michiru mused as he watched the man play with his son.

"It serves to kill time." Scabbard replied casually. "I hope I didn't inconvenience you with the addition of my squad and Kumo's squad…"

"Not at all. Having half of the finalists of the tournament travelling with me even for a little while is a great pleasure." The man smiled and raised his hands in mock defense.

"Eh? How did that happen? I was trying to make the steamroller show up, but instead a dinosaur came and head butted the guy!" Hikaru cocked his head in confusion. "I didn't even know dinosaurs were in this game!"

"Ah… that's because you didn't have your charge gauge filled all the way and your stamina at least at the halfway point…"

Back at the rear of the caravan:

Darui's eyebrow twitched. "I feel like crying somewhere alone right now for some reason…"

o. o. o.

Several miles away:

"They're mocking us…" Kakuzu grunted irritably. "They know we're after them… and they are _mocking_ us."

"From what Zabuza's told me about that green guy, it seems like something he would do." Kisame smirked. "Apparently his clan is known to be insane and genius at the same time…"

"They will be outside of the borders soon enough." Itachi droned as he savored the taste of his recently obtained pocky. "Once they are outside of Iron, we will no longer need to worry about samurai interference or knowledge of our presence… and from the rate of travel, I will assume that it will take them 5 days to reach the Land of Lightning…"

"I say we hit them now." Hidan grinned. "We can easily kill them all and pick off the survivors with little trouble…"

"Idiot." Kakuzu grunted. "Even if we kill everyone there, it will only send signals to Kumo and Iron that we are a group large enough to have their attention. Konoha being on our case is bad enough…"

"It is rather convenient that they are all together, though…" Kisame grinned. "Saves us the trouble of finding them all…"

"Too convenient." Itachi frowned. "They probably did so to control where we would show up…"

Kakuzu smirked. "True. However, they cannot control who our targets are… and the owner of that sickeningly large caravan is the Prince of the Land of Moon. We can make a pretty penny if we play this right…"

"Remember our priorities and the plan." Itachi glanced at Kakuzu. "It would not be wise to deviate from Leader's will…"

"I don't want to hear that from a brat who is only at half capacity right now…" The heart stealer glared as the youngest of the group activated his Mangekyō in preparation.

"Heheh." Kisame grinned. "I can see why leader was so worried about us working in groups of four now… not to mention pairing anyone up with old man Kakuzu…"

"Watch it Kisame, or I might go for you instead." The labeled old man growled irritably.

"Touchy." The blue man sniggered.

The two most dangerous members of the group of four stared one another down for what seemed like hours before Kakuzu snorted. "Humph. At least you can control your tongue, unlike these two." He turned and walked away. "We'll strike tomorrow afternoon. We want as much room between them and Kumo as possible so that we have time to hunt any stragglers. At the moment though, we are moving at that caravan's pace, so it will be easy to find them anytime we want."

"Oi Kakuzu! The hell are you going?" Hidan yelled as he got up.

"To eat." He replied bluntly. "I have had to deal with so much crap recently that I decided to actually have something nice in order to make this trip seem less torturous than it has been so far. I remember that there was a decently sized town close by, so there's bound to be a passable restaurant there. So help me though, if they fuck up my order…"

"Hey, wait for me!" Hidan yelled as he jumped after his partner.

Kisame and Itachi merely stood in place for a while before the shark man turned to his partner. "I know this will sound pretty silly… but if I think about it, I honestly do think that we are the most normal pair in Akatsuki…"

Itachi's eyes returned to normal as he stared at his partner for a moment before shaking his head. "It is indeed a scary concept…" The teen stated bluntly as he walked in the direction of another nearby village, no doubt in order to get some food.

Kisame laughed as he casually followed his partner. "I know, right? I mean, we have the zombie twins for one thing. Zetsu is literally his own partnership. And Deidara and Sasori are either trying to kill one another or ranting about art." He shrugged, but then winced as it shifted his injuries. "Of course, it is always possible that Leader and Konan could actually be passable human beings… but then again, Leader is the one who came up with this suicidal group in the first place. Not to mention that god complex of his." He shook his head. "I just like a good fight and killing people slowly. You… well, no one knows what the hell goes in your mind, but anyone can tell that you are the most rational person in Akatsuki." He shook his head and laughed. "It's really sad when you think about it. There isn't a place on this forsaken planet for monsters like us…"

Itachi paused for a moment before turning around. "That may be true, Kisame, but at least we will serve a purpose in the end…"

The shark man raised an eyebrow. "Hoh? And what would that be?"

The Uchiha closed his eyes and began walking away again. "… It's whatever we chose it to be when we die…"

o. o. o.

That night:

"That's IT!" Karui roared. "I've had it with this stupid mission! Not only do we have to go at that ass slow pace, not only do we have to stay outside all the damn time, not only do we have to work with ninja from another country that we don't know or like much, but we have to eat our standard rations right next TO THE TENT WHERE GOURMET FOOD IS BEING MADE?"

"Will you shut it already?!" Kiba yelled back at the dark girl as he took a bite out of the ration bar he had with him. "We've been dealing with this for over 2 months! We don't need you to remind us about it!"

"Even I have to admit that this isn't too hot…" Atsui grumbled, not liking the cold weather that much.

"Chill, brats, chill." Bee mused as he casually bounced from foot to foot. "You occasionally gotta deal with shit like this, so get used to it…" He paused and walked away. "… I gotta piss…"

"Not one to mince words, is he?" Neji blankly stared at the man as he watched the man leave.

"His words are indeed horrifying… but for another reason completely." Omoi sighed.

"Yo." Sasuke yawned as he walked up to the shinobi there.

"Have a good nap, sleeping Uke?" Naruto smirked.

"Shut it, dobe. I'm still beat from the tournament, and someone had to make sure that Tenten was all right during the trip… and that she didn't steal half the shit around her when she woke up inside the carriage with all those weapons and armor inside of it."

"I take it that was Ōgakari-sensei's idea." Sai stated.

"Duh." Naruto rolled his eyes as he shakily ate his ramen.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "The hell happened to you? You never shake like that when eating ramen."

The blonde laughed nervously as more of his teammates from Konoha turned to him curiously. "Ah… well… Hinata-chan wanted me to help her out with some special training and it involved me using my hands a lot… so… now…" He sniffed and began to cry childishly. "I can't really feel them at the moment…"

The rest of the Konoha shinobi turned to Hinata, who in turn smiled happily and continued to eat the soup that had been prepared for everyone. Oh, they knew that look. The girl was currently in the 'I'm in an extremely happy and relaxed state, so if you try to ruin it, I will end you' state of mind. They had all seen it at one point or another, but so far the only things they knew about it was that Naruto was the only one that could get her into it, the teachers and Shikamaru knew what it entailed… and that ruining said state of mind for the girl was a certified death warrant. Kiba could attest to that personally.

Atsui leaned toward Omoi. "And he's supposed to be the hotshot leader? Sounds like that girl is the one who controls everything among those guys…"

"So is Tenten able to come out yet?" Kin asked curiously. "If not, can we see her?"

"Yes! We must congratulate her on her wonderful display of youthfulness yesterday!" Lee stated with vigor.

Sasuke stretched and leaned back in his seat. "What? And I get jack?" He shook his head. "Scab is giving her a brief checkup right now to make sure she's fine. From what I've seen, she's good enough to come out right now and eat with us." He cracked his neck. "We won't be able to help out with the guard duty though since we're still more than beat from our fight." He shook his head. "Ugh… Makes me want to beat the living shit out of that Kurotetsu guy for flaunting all those weapons in front of Tenten back in the preliminaries." He took in a deep breath for a moment before pausing and letting it out. "… Did you really have to set up our dinner spot so close to that prince guy's tent?"

"Unfortunately." Ino sighed. "It's one of the worst parts of the mission in my opinion. You never really get used to it…"

Akamaru whined and barked in agreement.

"I've had a few missions like this too." Darui yawned. "They're dull as hell. What are you getting from this? B-ranked pay?"

"A-ranked." Kin replied before putting on an evil grin and looked at Naruto. "Well, it was before Naruto-san decided to become very generous with the money he won from the betting pools, wasn't it?"

The blonde sweated profusely despite the cold as he felt the eyes of all of his teammates resting on him with a heated and greedy passion. "Yes!" He squeaked in a high pitched tone. "Of course I did! That was the first thought that passed my mind when I won the money! I would never be so selfish as to think of spending it all on a ramen pool that changed flavors every day! That would be silly! Hahahahaha!"

The Kumo shinobi there sweatdropped. ' _Is he really in charge of the entire group? All they seem to do is bully him the entire time…'_

"By the way…" Sasuke continued casually as he took a bowl of the soup for himself before glancing at Naruto and sitting next to him. A small but eager smirk made its way to his mouth. "I see that you got yourself a new pair of talons."

The Konoha shinobi who heard Sasuke paused and turned their attention to Naruto instantly. "Really?" Lee asked excitedly.

"It's about time." Neji mused as he activated his eyes to get a better look at what was on the boy's arms.

"I never saw the first set." Kin mused. "Is it true that you actually blew them up by accident?"

"And himself… and roughly 50 escaped criminals in the process…" Kiba chuckled.

"That's nothing." Sasuke snorted. "You should have been there when he blew up this castle in the Land of Snow…"

"Oi teme! Don't you dare pin that one on me!" Naruto roared. "You were the one who triggered it…"

"And you were the one who made AND put that tag there in the first place." Sasuke grunted. "We were over a mile away from the blast and on the side of a mountain… and we STILL were almost blasted away by the shockwave."

"We saw." Ino sighed. "It was in that documentary movie that we were at the release of. There was an attempted coup during the thing and everything. Thank god those idiot chūnin that tried to ambush us spilled the beans so we had warning…" She shook her head. "Honestly, Naruto. I know you're better than you look, but taking on an entire team of chūnin by yourself that easily is just ridiculous…"

"Oh yeah. Koyuki says hi to you, Kakashi-sensei and Haku by the way." Naruto said to Sasuke, clearly ignoring Ino's comments.

"I'll be sure to tell them that the next time we see each other." Sasuke nodded.

"Hold on. You were in that Land of Spring movie?" Karui gaped. "How the hell did you get that job?"

"Dumb luck." Sasuke stated bluntly before pointing at the smiling and waving Naruto. "A.K.A. Him. Literally."

"Can we get back to Naruto's new weapons?" Hinata asked. "I'm very curious to see what they are like…"

"Fine, fine." Naruto rolled his eyes as he lifted up one of his arms and pulled down his sleeve to show the quote: Fox Talons version 2.37. Unquote. Naruto asked about the extra .36 versions, only for Scabbard to mention something about them being too unstable and reaching 'critical mass' too soon. The blonde didn't know what the man was talking about… and frankly, he didn't want to.

The observing ninja, other than Darui, watching blinked in surprise as the boy revealed his new tools. To those that knew what his previous weapons had looked like, they were stumped at the new design. Instead of some kind of armor looking accessory, the gauntlets instead appeared to consist of a fairly strong leather body with some metal ingrained for shape, and it was all covered by short to medium fur that was colored in a way that made it look similar to the previous version, with a black front that appeared to be fire upon a burnt orange back. Unlike the predecessor, this one extended to his hands, upgrading the weapons from bracers to full on gauntlets. The black fur-like material covered the front of his fingers and his knuckles, but there was only a few sparse strands of the material on the palms.

Sai cocked his head to the side. "Odd… you don't seem to qualify as a 'furry' person to me… Kiba, on the other hand…"

"Sai, I swear to god that I'm going to have Akamaru shit on your face while you sleep tonight." The Inuzuka growled.

"This is definitely different from your other set, though…" Sasuke mused as he analyzed the gauntlets. "I don't see much material that can serve as a good defense…"

"Regardless…" Neji frowned as he glanced at the also curious Kumo shinobi. "Do you think it is best to show your new tools in front of foreign forces?"

"What was that, white eye?" Karui growled. "If you have a problem, say it to my face."

"Cool it, guys. Don't act so dull." Darui yawned as he took out Raiden and flipped it between its two forms with relative ease before putting it back into its sheath on his back. "The blonde kid got his new toys the same time I got mine. Bee and I already know most of its tricks, so it's no big deal if he talks about it in front of us."

Omoi blinked as he looked at his senior's new weapon. "Whoa… I didn't know you had your sword replaced already. It looks strong. Where did you get it?"

Darui shrugged. "It came with finalizing the deal between the Ōgakari and Raikage-sama. Custom made weapons for Bee and I and some other things in return for some kind of special favor. We originally came to the tournament to see if the guy's weapons were the real deal and see if the agreement and price tags were worth it… and well, I doubt anyone can argue otherwise right now." He sighed. ' _Still… the prices he's charging on his weapons are no joke. Normally someone would assume he's trying to fuel a war… but not at that cost. The buying countries would go broke in no time flat for wartime purchasing rates, victory or not…'_

"I see…" Neji frowned.

"Aw, man. What's with this guy acting all cool and stuff." Atsui moaned. "He's just like my sister! Just because Kumo did something to your clan over 10 years ago doesn't mean you have to have a fire under your ass whenever we're around. It's not like we did anything that hurt you in particular…"

The temperature around the area dropped drastically, even though it was already below freezing in that area.

"Shit." Ino swore appropriately.

"Not… affected?" Neji spoke slowly while his eyes activated slowly. "My cousin… who is behind me… was the one who was almost abducted that night…" He took a step forward.

"Neji-nii-san…" Hinata spoke up, half in worry and half in warning.

Karui and Omoi both slapped themselves on the forehead. ' _Shit! We completely forgot that she's the heiress!'_

Darui's eyes widened. ' _That girl is the Heiress? Oh come on!'_

"My father… was killed just because your village was full of sore losers…"

"Neji. Calm down before you do something stupid." Sasuke frowned.

"I spent a good portion of my life… in an obsessed delirium that not only hurt me, but the few people that actually cared about whether I lived or died because of that event…" He hissed in rage.

His body twitched as if he were to take another step forward… however, it did not move, much to his apparent irritation and minor surprise...

"Neji…" Naruto stated in a perfectly calm tone from a fair distance behind the boy, still sitting almost casually in the spot he had been the entire time. "I would choose my next words and actions carefully if I were you." The shinobi couldn't help but tell that there was more to the blonde's words than they knew… "Unless you have forgotten, we are all kinda still being targeted by a bunch of strong ass bastards, and picking a fight with allies isn't a smart thing to do right now." There had been no killing intent, Presence, or even a hint of a threat, but the hierarchy between the two had clearly somehow been established.

The Hyūga seemed to struggle in place for a moment before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "You're right. I let this idiot get a rise out of me…" He straightened himself up. "Even if I did try and get revenge… it would be a waste to use it on an amateur like this guy…" He turned and walked away. "I'm afraid I do not have much of an appetite at the moment…"

"You aren't the only person who's had someone close to you almost kidnapped by Kumo, you know." The blonde sighed cryptically, getting many odd looks from those who heard him.

"The hell is that supposed to mean?" Atsui blinked in confusion, completely ignoring the fact that he had almost destroyed the temporary truce between the two nations with his mouth.

"It means that you are going to be stuck with D-ranked missions for half a year if you're lucky when we get back." Darui frowned, getting a nervous jolt out of the boy. "It seems we still have some work to do about that loose tongue of yours. You just won yourself two guard shifts tonight."

The young sword wielder's eyes widened in shock. "But I…"

"Post. Now." The normally laid back man ordered sternly, causing the boy to jump away from the area rather quickly. The bleached man sighed and shook his head. "Sorry about that. He's a good fighter, but as you can tell, he doesn't think much before he speaks."

"No…" Hinata walked up and bowed. "It is quite all right. I apologize too for my cousin's brash behavior…"

"The Hyūga heiress bowing and apologizing to a Kumo shinobi… Man… what's with all this weird stuff happening this mission? I need to write all this stuff down so that I can remember it all for the report to the Raikage…" Darui chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. "Don't worry about it. Atsui gets on everyone's nerves after a while. We don't hold anything against your cousin… not that we could in the first place…"

"I trust you will speak to him about his behavior later tonight?" Naruto asked in a pleasant tone that contradicted the mood of what just happened.

"It's gonna be dull as hell, but I can't put it off." The man sighed. "He really almost screwed things over for us…"

"No kidding." Ino sarcastically grunted.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again." The blonde sighed shrugging his shoulders before making eye contact with the older man. "Konoha can't be responsible for stopping every war, you know. That would just be silly…"

Darui frowned and swallowed the barely hidden jab with a grain of salt, knowing that his village in a way did deserve that insult. When it came to the relationship between Kumo and Konoha, the pattern was usually Kumo throwing the first punch and Konoha forcing Kumo back. This was no exception.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Karui frowned.

"Enough." The eldest yawned. "We don't want to make things worse than they already are right now. We can argue like children after we've lived through the next few days." He smirked bitterly. "You're a strange kid, Uzumaki. I can see why they put you in charge of this mission."

The blonde put on a similar smirk. "Oh trust me, you have yet to scratch the surface when it comes to the shit I get myself stuck in…" He paused and put on a pondering expression. "Wait… no you do… four S-ranked missing-nin at once out of nowhere is actually a personal best right now on messed up situations…" He dropped his head in comical resignation.

"You make it sound as if you're expecting to find yourself in worse positions in the future." Omoi cocked his head in confusion.

"I dooooooooo…" The blonde wept in misery.

"All in favor of signing a petition that requires special forms to be signed whenever Naruto is put in charge of a mission, raise their hand." Sasuke stated in an emotionless and authoritative tone.

All the Konoha shinobi their hands at once without any reservation… including Naruto himself. Hinata used her free hand to pat him on the back sympathetically.

Karui shook her head. "Konoha ninja are weird."

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Compound training grounds:

"So. You ready?" Ghost asked Anko and Hana casually.

"As much as we'll ever be." Anko sighed reluctantly. "I'm not eager to do this mind you, and for good reason…"

"I'm not even sure I'll be able to do it." Hana sheepishly laughed. "I don't have as much chakra as you two you know…"

"Good!" The immortal smiled childishly. "On the count of three then!" The two women next to him simply moaned before jumping into position.

"One!" The women bit their thumbs hard enough to draw blood.

"Two!" Both of them sped through the required seals at a near invisible speed.

"THREE!" The kunoichi flared their Presence to increase the quality of their chakra before pumping as much energy as they could to their dominant hands, which they slammed onto the ground.

"Summoning!" The women shouted before the entire area was encompassed by the standard smoke that comes with ninjutsu. Seconds passed before the smoke cleared to reveal two monstrously huge beasts. On one side was the infamous serpent Manda, who was looking around and flicking his tongue curiously, yet still accompanied by the pompous air that irritated Gamabunta and Katsuyu. On the other side was an equally large pure white wolf with some grey swirls in its fur. Opposed to Manda's disposition, this creature gave off an air of calm and nurturing nobility…

" **I was wondering when I would be summoned again…"** The serpent hissed irritably before looking at the wolf. **"Ahh… Asena. What a pleasant surprise…"**

" **Manda…"** The wolf spoke in a commanding female voice. It was calm and gentle, but there was a definite edge to it. **"The same cannot be said for me…"** She looked around and sniffed her surroundings with her massive nose, causing a noticeable wind to blow each time. **"Where are we? Are we to fight one another, or is there some other purpose for our being here…"** She closed her eyes. **"Summoner… if you would please answer my question… there are old and powerful scents lingering here, and I do not like it…"**

"Oi Hana!" Anko yelled from on top of Manda's head. "What gives? I thought that the wolf summoning contract was different in that you summon packs instead of single summons! I didn't know that there was an actual boss summon for the wolves!" She paused. "Oh. And hi Manda! Long time no see!"

" **Not long enough…"** Grumbled the serpent as he glared at the woman on his head.

" **That may be the case, human…"** Asena replied. **"However, I do exist. It just happens that it is rare for the Inuzuka to produce one who has the right qualifications to summon me. The last one was well over a century ago…"** She looked to her forehead, where Hana and her triplets were in shock. They had heard legends of the wolf mother Asena, but to actually summon her on her first try… **"So your name is Hana? A fitting name for a pup such as yourself…"** She turned to look at Manda for a moment before sniffing the air again and turning to where Ghost was standing patiently and casually. **"Your scent is one of the ones that lingers here… you are far from an ordinary human… or anything else that this world can produce. Are you an enemy?"**

Ghost shrugged. "No… but I am the guy that gets to screw your summoners thoroughly and passionately for nights on end."

Hana and Anko facepalmed as Manda snorted. **"A mate? Let's see how long that lasts."** He paused. **"So it's finally time you called me after that humiliation your clan gave me during Orochimaru's little plan…"** He chuckled sarcastically. **"I must admit… I was somewhat surprised when his name disappeared off of the contract back home… at least something good came that day."** He whipped his tail around irritably. **"Especially after you tore out a good portion of my body…"** His eyes narrowed. **"So what is it that you want, human?"**

"Now? I'm just here to make sure that you two make nice with your summoners and they don't get in over their heads." Ghost shrugged. "I was there when my apprentice met up with Gamabunta. I don't know about you two, but Hana and Anko don't have the Kyūbi sealed in them, so their injuries have a tendency to be a bit more concerning." He paused. "Plus… well… we're dealing with Manda, so you can't really blame me…"

" **Your apprentice holds the great fox?"** Asena cocked her head. **"I have heard that humans have developed a method to contain the tailed beasts… yet due to the fact that I am rarely summoned, I have yet to meet one…"** A small smirk made itself on the wolf's lips. **"Fitting. Our clan has never done well with the fox breed… however, the same could be said with the snakes as well…"**

"Great." Anko moaned. "Just what we need. Fighting already…" She stood up and stomped her foot, getting a look of irritation from Manda. "Hold it!" She pointed down. "Manda! I don't really give a damn about your pride or whatever, but I'm the only one who's registered as a snake summoner, and right now the snake summons are the fucking laughing stock of the summon clans thanks to Orochimaru! You may be strong, but with all the shit that he's involved your clan in, it would take years at the least to get anything other from fear and resentment from the rest of the world whenever you're seen. If I'm the major summoner of the contract, that might be able to change so long as you don't keep on asking for sacrifices like some spoiled child!"

She pointed to Hana. "You! Start talking to your boss summon for crap's sake! I don't want to be the only one trying to make sure they don't kill one another when we need their help!" She then pointed to Ghost. "And you! Don't make anything worse!"

"You'd have better luck telling the sun to rise in the west, Anko!" The blind man shouted back cheerfully.

"Manda?" Anko asked in a fake sweet tone. "Would you like to eat him? Because if you can catch him, I'll hold no grudges…"

" **Like I care what you think of me!"** The serpent roared in a smug tone as it shot towards its new prey, which appropriately shot off screaming like a small child at impressive speeds.

Asena, Hana, and the triplets deadpanned as they watched the odd spectacle of the massive serpent trying to eat the screaming man across the expanse, only to fail each time. **"He's very fast…"** The wolf commented casually, trying to start a conversation with her new summoner again. **"Are all three of you truly mates?"**

Hana sighed. "Yeah. As surprising as it sounds, it's true. Despite how they act, they don't joke around when one of us is in some kind of trouble…" She paused. "… Much…"

" **I have heard much lately about how the scroll was stolen and used by a feral pack member…"** Asena mused. **"You have three litter mates… you are Hana, correct? The daughter of the human alpha Tsume. I am surprised. I expected your mother to be the first to attempt to use the scroll after that troublesome event…"**

The daughter of Tsume laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of her head. "I thought that too, but mom said that with all the things I've done lately and how strong I've gotten, I deserved to test it out first…" She paused. "Well… that and she wanted a higher chance and frequency of having the summons maim Ghost…"

" **I assume that he is the one that our pack mates informed me possesses a strong affinity for wind chakra and peculiar time-space techniques…"** Asena mused as she watched Manda lunge to eat Ghost… only for the man to somehow appear on his back, still screaming, and running down his spine with his hands up in the air. **"They are not very partial to him…"**

"Neither is mom, obviously." The teen rolled her eyes. "Still… I can't really see myself with anyone else…" She could have sworn that she heard Manda and Anko scream in rage in perfect synchronization as the snake lunged for the man again. He probably stole Anko's panties again. "When it comes to family members, pack mates… he is the most loyal person there is…" She chuckled. "To be honest, he is the scariest thing I have ever met when truly angered…"

" **I see…"** The boss summon mused. **"And you three… do you agree with your pack mate's statements?"** The triplets responded with grunts and growls of their own, though there were a bit… reluctant to do so at times. This caused the summon to chuckle slowly and Hana to blush and look to the side, embarrassed. **"I see…"** Asena mused, looking quite entertained at the moment. **"Well, regardless of his behavior, he has seemed to gain your trust…"** She turned to see Manda still chasing the man with fervor. **"And he is more cunning than he lets on… posing as a common irritation for those two to make it easier for them to tolerate one another… he either lacks self-preservation, or he is confident enough in his abilities to manage his current predicament."**

"Both." Hana sighed before shifting around in her place. "So while Manda and Anko have some murderous bonding time, how about we get started as well? I heard that many summoned clans and bosses have tests or something like that to use them freely in battle. Naruto… um, Ghost's apprentice, had to stay on Gamabunta's head for an entire day from what I've heard…" She chuckled. "I've been told that the poor brat was suffering from whiplash for almost a week after he passed."

The wolf mother laughed. **"Haha. I have heard of the Toad Boss's temperament. No doubt he thought it would be embarrassing to be under the wing of a human child… the elder summoner of toads has already given him a peculiar enough reputation as it is…"** She took in a deep breath and exhaled it through her mouth. **"Your test is different than that of the other packs. I have deemed you worthy of summoning us… however, how much we will comply with your orders and how much of our secrets you will learn will be determined over time. Every time my kind is summoned, we will work with you, but at the same time, we shall be evaluating you and your kin. We will let you know when the test is over and if we deem you worthy to truly lead our noble pack…"** She turned to look at the childish display still unraveling before her. **"However, I must warn you… your choice in mates will cause our first impressions of you to be… less than appealing. It will make things rather difficult for you…"**

Hana sighed. "You aren't the first to insinuate things like that. Trust me…"

" **Very well."** Asena complied before the group watched in silence. **"… I am curious though… that male is ancient even by my kind's standards. Why have you chosen him even though most humans normally abstain from having mates with large age differences?"**

The Inuzuka heiress rolled her eyes. "He may be as old as hell, but his personality is that of an infant…" She grumbled. "To be frank, he's so old that it's reached the point where his age doesn't even matter anymore as long as he appears to be around my age. It's not like anyone other than summons or other mystical creatures would believe he's ancient unless he literally threw it in their faces…" She paused. "Please don't ask him to though… he's the kind of person that would in fact find something to literally throw into people's faces to prove his age, just to prove that he could…"

o. o. o.

Iron:

Scabbard sat hunched with his fingers laced in front of his face. The rising sun peaking directly behind him shadowed a good portion of his stern face. There was no subtle humor or mischief in this man. There was no mercy, pride, or anger. There were only facts and plans. At that moment, he was nothing more than a machine made of flesh and blood, and he was in the final stages of outputting his analysis of the situation and finalizing appropriate measures to take…

"I have presented you all with the 10 most likely scenarios that we will encounter in the next few days, as well as instructions on what to do should the situation prove to be none of the aforementioned 10. The most likely case has a 41.869 percent chance of occurring, while all 10 combined represent 89.271 percent. Go over them in your heads at least 5 times each with one another, reciting them in your head once more between said 5 in order to ensure that you have it down. You know the consequences for failing to perform…" The individuals in front of him nodded silently and stiffly. "Good." He slowly got up. "Mission… Start…"

The man stayed in place as the individuals in front of him dispersed rapidly to return to their posts or to look inconspicuous. He remained quiet as he slowly moved from carriage to carriage, appearing to be making sure that the boxes on wheels were in good shape for the day's journey… before casually walking into one of the boxes that was meant for transporting more goods. "I apologize for forcing you into such conditions for so long without giving you satisfactory reasons…" He muttered quietly as he addressed someone inside. "Allow me to explain in detail what our current situation is, details, and what I expect you to do…"

o. o. o.

Half a day later:

"Ugh… this is driving me nuts!" Kiba moaned as he twitched and looked in random directions again.

"Kiba, if you don't shut up, I really will kill you…" Ino grit her teeth, barely doing any better than her teammate beside her.

The positions everyone had were changed a bit from the previous day. The caravan was divided into fourths. The first quarter had Naruto, Zabuza, and Sasuke, who had managed to recover enough to contribute to the job. The second quarter was taken over by Scabbard, Ino, Kiba and Sai. The third consisted of Neji, Lee, Kin and Hinata, and the final quarter belonged to the team from Kumo. The teams had quietly determined this order previously with little argument and had been quietly doing their jobs, all on high alert for any sign of attack…

However, according to the Prince and his son, there was nothing wrong as they both napped in their private carriage, oblivious to the amount of danger they were in. The caravan had passed the borders of Iron hours ago, and with every extra minute, the tension in the shinobi had only increased…

o. o. o.

Looking down at the travelling carts from a fair distance away, the four members of Akatsuki analyzed the position of their targets.

"Let's go kill them already!" Hidan moaned. "The more time we let pass, the more things can go wrong when we do attack!"

"… I don't like this…" Kakuzu mused. "Something feels off…"

"It's not like you to get cold feet, Kakuzu." Kisame grinned.

"It's not that…" The man frowned. "I just have the feeling that we are overlooking something…"

"Regardless of what you may suspect… our orders were clear and absolute…" Itachi quietly stated as he got up and turned to the direction of his planned position. "Other than possessing large amounts of chakra… a few jōnin and a bunch of children should not pose any sort of threat to us…" With that, he jumped towards the ambush point.

"You heard the man." Hidan laughed gleefully as he jumped in a different direction. "Let's get a killin'!"

"I swear, that idiot is going to get blasted into so many pieces that I won't be able to stitch him back together one day… and I pray for it to happen every god damned morning…" Kakuzu grunted after he took after his partner. "Be careful, Kisame. You're strong, but you can easily break your stitches if you fight too wildly…"

"Yeah, yeah." The shark man grinned as he got up to follow Itachi. "Like I would actually need to work that hard against a bunch of weaklings…" His smirk widened. "I wonder how many people I'm going to shave today."

o. o. o.

At the front of the Caravan:

"…So then I snuck into the bastard's house, rigged his bedroom while he was asleep, dumped some kind of illegal catnip all over the place, and then locked him in with Tora." Naruto grinned evilly.

"… You have issues." Sasuke deadpanned.

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Obviously…" He stopped in his tracks. "Stop the caravan!" He yelled, forcing the driver to pull back on his reins suddenly. The protests of horses could be heard steadily going through the caravan as the sudden stop surprised everyone…

"What the hell?" The driver shouted in surprise. "Why did you stop us, ninja?"

"Which ones?" Zabuza asked with a frown as he reached for his sword…

"Impressive…" Droned Itachi as he and Kisame phased out of the air a good 20 meters away from the group. "I did not expect us to be detected so easily with my genjutsu up…"

"Itachi…" Sasuke hissed in irritation and anger.

Kisame grinned as the younger brother cursed his older brother, but for different reasons than he thought. "Hey brats… Zabuza. I hope you didn't expect us to just let you leave without saying goodbye first…"

"Wouldn't be the first time, Kisame…" Zabuza grunted.

"Let me guess…" Naruto frowned in a calm but sarcastic tone. "If I go with you, you won't butcher my friends here. Right?"

"Nope." Kisame grinned as he shouldered his weapon. "You're all royally fucked today, kid. We got orders to butcher everyone in your little group." He chuckled, almost like a small child. "How long has it been since I've been allowed to cut loose?"

Itachi looked at Zabuza with his red eyes and frowned. "… An amusing attempt to distract us… but futile…" He stepped forward. "Where is the real Zabuza?"

The imposter smirked before suddenly charging at the two men with incredible speed. "Working on something more significant than you two!"

Kisame frowned. "Ah? That's a buzz kill. I don't want to deal with some annoying fake…" He swung his weapon at the fake Zabuza with his non-dominant hand, clearly expecting for whoever it was to be rather easy to kill… only to grimace as the sword he blocked managed to hold him in place. "Eh?"

Itachi's eyes widened as his eyes got a better look at the mystery man. "Kisame!" He warned in alarm.

"I might be an imposter, but Tenten can still make near perfect copies…" Chuckled the fake Zabuza before his chakra peaked. "Boom."

Kisame's eyes widened in shock and recognition as he understood what was going to happen next. "GOD DAMN…!" The fake Zabuza exploded intensely. Itachi jumped away to protect himself, but in the process, he had distanced himself from his partner and distracted himself from his target…

Who in that brief moment of distraction had made at least 50 shadow clones that wasted no time bum rushing the two men and creating more confusion in the area as they spread out, yet stayed close enough to cause problems for the two S-ranked criminals, throwing kunai and shuriken at the men at odd intervals. Dodging the weapons was rather easy, but the moment one of the two men had gotten too close to a clone, said clone would explode with the wrath of a high grade exploding tag, causing things to be a bit more irritating than expected.

"Itachi!" Kisame roared as he attempted to speed through some clones, only to have a couple explode a bit to close for comfort and slow him down enough that he had to back away lest more suicide bombers get too close again. "Use your genjutsu to deal with these bastards, for fuck's sake!"

"It is more difficult than expected…" The teen replied as he wove through the clones and flying weapons… and with the extreme precision that could only belong to someone of his caliber, threw several dozen kunai and shuriken almost casually, each taking out a clone in the process. "They are avoiding eye contact with me, yet are still able to accurately judge my movements. He is more able than anticipated…" He frowned and turned in the direction away from the caravan. "They are running away. No doubt to try to protect their allies from us and buy them time…"

"Then I can kill all these annoying ants without worry!" The shark man yelled in relief and murderous glee as he started to make seals… only to wince as the speed he was making them at caused his injured arm to flare in pain. "God damn it, Zabuza…" He grunted as he reluctantly had to make them at a speed that forced him to dodge the kunai the clones were throwing at him at the same time. "After I'm done with the brat, you're next. Water Style! Exploding Water Shockwave!" The shark man reared his head and spat out a huge sphere of water from his mouth straight downward. The water exploded into a large and quickly expanding ring of water that shot out in all directions, wiping out all the clones around his person. The power of the wave died out quickly and only hit the caravan with negligible force, though it still disturbed the horses. Kisame looked at his partner to see him finish the rest of the clones with a few well thrown kunai. "Let's go maim some brats…" Growled the shark man as Itachi led the way into the direction where Naruto and Sasuke had ran off to…

Neither had noticed that none of the water had actually physically impacted the carriages or the horses, as the water diverged around a small electric barrier…

o. o. o.

At the back of the Caravan…

Darui frowned as he saw the caravan stop ahead suddenly. It looks like they would be fighting soon after all. Expanding his senses a bit, he was almost surprised when he felt two strong signatures behind him. Darui was no sensor, but any jōnin worth his rank could sense to some degree. "Bee…" He grunted as he reached for his sword.

"Omoi, Karui, Atsui… you three best chill with the crew up in front…" Bee grunted in a low tone and turned around to see Hidan and Kakuzu standing casually roughly 30 meters away… "Some posers are gonna pull some stunts…"

"You guys sure got some bad luck…" Hidan grinned as he whipped out his triple bladed scythe and twirled it on his fingers. "Jashin-sama will enjoy your sacrifice…"

"Unfortunately for you guys, our organization has decided you need to die." Kakuzu casually stated as he stepped forward. "Try not to resist. You don't stand a chance against us, and I want to at least make sure your bodies are identifiable so that I can get any bounties off of your heads…"

The younger ninja gulped as they stepped back from the massive amount of killing intent the two men were exerting. "What are you waitin' for, ya foo!" Bee growled. "Get movin'!" The words seemed to snap them out of their shock as they put more distance between them and the fight.

"Bee." Darui cocked his head as he took out Raiden. "I think I remember that Jashin guy from the local Bingo Books. Hidan of Yugakure…" While Darui knew that all the information they had on Hidan was technically from Scabbard, it wasn't all that hard to believe that they knew about the man himself. Yugakure was in a country right next to the Land of Lighting. Neighboring nations with villages often shared data on missing-nin from their villages due to the fact that many missing-nin only went as far as the next country to avoid persecution.

"The nut that uses that blood ritual to curse his enemies?" Bee snorted. "How sad. Little boy can't do anything without someone else's help…"

Hidan saw red. "You dare mock Jashin-sama? I will make you suffer for hours on end before I finish you! Even if you do give me a good kill, I will still make sure your beating heart will be cut out of your body for you to see!"

"Bring it on, ya twisted religious grease head!" Bee shouted defiantly in response as he flipped out his new weapons and caught them in his joints before launching himself at the fake priest. "This is for all the little boys ya probably screwed in the shed!"

 _'Great, they have my moron of a partner half way figured out already. This will make things much more annoying…'_ "Hidan… don't do anything stupid… stitching you up is a pain in the ass…" Kakuzu grunted as he turned to Darui. "… I didn't expect you to get new weapons so soon after the tournament… and they look much more formidable than your previous ones…" He frowned. "Let me guess, that Ōgakari man made them…"

Darui smirked as he shouldered his weapon. "How perceptive of you. How long did you have to think to work that one out?"

The heart stealer snorted. "Huh. Joke all you want, it won't help you much. I doubt that you are at full strength after all the fighting you did in Iron…" His skin darkened slowly…

"You'd be surprised." The storm element user muttered under his breath as he grabbed his weapon, still folded up with both hands and swung. "Laser Circus!" He yelled as white beams of chakra shot out of each of the holes of his new weapon at obscene speeds, shocking Kakuzu and even Darui to some extent as they hit the man head on before he apparently knew it and launched him a good ways back, covering him in multiple dents despite his hard body… before he exploded in smoke and a nearly shattered log replaced him.

'… _After my defeat against the First Hokage… even though I loathe admitting it… I can see the appeal to worshiping that stupid piece of tree…'_ "That was close…" The man mused in an almost impressed tone as he appeared from behind a tree. "… I've rarely seen a storm element technique focused to that degree… that's some tool you have in your hands… but it is far from enough to beat me…"

"I figured." Darui sighed. "You don't look like a guy whose skills are dull…" He pulsed his chakra briefly to flick his weapon into its sword state. "But then again, my abilities aren't something to brush off either…"

"I've seen." Kakuzu nonchalantly replied as he eyed the new shape of the weapon, his body still dark channeling earth chakra. "Still, you must be tired. It's only been a few days since the tournament after all…" ' _Something definitely doesn't feel right. He doesn't look or act wounded at all. I may have to use my familiars earlier than I thought…'_

The naturally black man smirked as he channeled lightning chakra into his weapon. "Well if that's the case, it won't take long for you to beat me then…"

o. o. o.

With the second guard:

"What the hell is going on?!" Kin shouted as explosions could be heard at the front and rear of the stopped caravan.

"Sensei?" Hinata asked into her radio quietly.

"…Scenario 1." Scabbard's bored voice replied.

The girl took in a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm herself before asserting control of the situation. "Akatsuki is attacking." She said in a no nonsense tone and activated her eyes. Her range had extended far enough that she could easily see Naruto and Sasuke running away from everyone else and farther down the road. "Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun had to leave their posts in order to separate the Akatsuki members after them from us… but as such, the Prince is left unprotected." She turned to Neji and Kin. "You two go protect the Prince. Get the carriage as far away from here as possible, possibly on a side road or something similar. Always ensure that you have radio contact with one of us…"

"You mentioned Sasuke and Naruto leaving…" Neji frowned. "What about Zabuza-sensei?"

The girl frowned. "I will explain everything once we all get out of this alive. GO! We don't have time to talk!"

Neji and Kin stumbled back for a moment, somewhat unnerved at Hinata's sudden show of anger before getting a hold of themselves, nodding, and then taking off towards the Prince's carriage.

Lee on the other hand was completely calm as he looked at Hinata with a serious expression on his face. "… So?"

Hinata turned off her eyes and exhaled slowly. "1st Scenario…"

The taijutsu expert nodded before turning around and looking at the back of the caravan. "So for now, the only thing we can do is wait…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"I hope you know what you're doing, dobe…" Sasuke growled as he and Naruto raced through the forest as fast as they could towards some destination that only Naruto seemed to be aware of.

"I only have a decent idea, teme…" The blonde laughed bitterly as he made another couple hundred clones to stall or hold back Itachi and Kisame. From what the clone's memories could tell him, even though Kisame was seriously injured and slowed down, both men were still able to handle his small armies with little effort… despite the fact that said troops exploded and were armed with a fair amount of ninjutsu. Itachi was simply too obscenely fast and Kisame was a juggernaut of maiming destruction.

Sasuke frowned. He hated when Naruto was vague like this… but he also knew that it meant that the blonde knew more about what was going on than he let on. "Hey…" He grunted. "About Itachi…"

"There's more to his story then just killing everyone in your family and he's not as big of a psychotic prick than we first thought… right?" The blonde interrupted, really wanting to not waste time on sentimental stuff at the moment. "That may be the case, but right now we're still running for our lives, Sasuke…" He winced as a new slew of memories flooded his mind. "Fuck, I didn't think that was physically possible…" He shook his head. "…We need to treat them like enemies or we are screwed…" His eyes widened as he suddenly grabbed his teammate and dashed to the side, dragging his friend with him just as a massive torrent of water nearly wiped them out from behind. "Son of a… they're closing faster than I thought…" He swore as they regained their footing and took off again and several hundred more clones popped into existence all rushing in the opposite direction.

"Damn it dobe…" Sasuke growled as he shook the dizziness from changing directions so quickly from his body. "How much longer till we get to wherever the fuck we need to go? They're nearly on us!"

The blonde frowned as he did a mental check on everything around him and how long they had been running, the explosions behind him not interfering with his thoughts in the slightest. "We're a little over half way there…" He frowned. "At the rate that we are moving, though… our odds of making it aren't the best."

"I'm going to enjoy cutting off your legs, you fucking brat!" Kisame's enraged roar tore through the air and for good reason. Naruto had been analyzing how Kisame moved with his clones since the beginning. While the blue man may have been getting more used to fighting exploding clones, the clones were getting more used to fighting the injured man. Itachi was much more difficult, as the man's speed made it difficult to manage him. He could literally stab a clone in the face and then get out of range before it exploded. The clones had decided to make things slightly more difficult for the man as they used their Seventh Sense to redirect his thrown projectiles. The end result was one clone managing to exploit the man's habit of refraining from twisting his upper body to slash his back lightly with a kunai enhanced with wind chakra. The results were obvious.

Still, the two were catching up, and it would only be a matter of time before Naruto and Sasuke would be in deep shit…

Sasuke frowned darkly. "…You have some kind of insane back up technique that you are going to use on us if we can't make it in time that I'm going to kill you for later, don't you?"

Naruto coughed sheepishly and looked to the side nervously.

"Great. Fucking great."

o. o. o.

Back with the Kumo fight:

Kakuzu grunted as he dodged another slew of fast beams of lights. So far, his bout with the Kumo shinobi wasn't going as pleasantly as he had hoped. The man had somehow managed to fully recover from his injuries in Iron, and combined with his bizarre new weapon, he was holding up well. The miser's close ranged technique was countered by his opponent's lightning streamed sword, and any attempt to use mid ranged ninjutsu was stopped by the enhanced storm techniques. He had not sustained any real damage so far, but he definitely wasn't controlling the flow of the battle, and he didn't like that… "I wonder how much I can get from your head and that weapon of yours…" He grunted as he shot his right arm forward like a cannon and surprised Darui with the new technique as the black tendrils that held his body together became visible for the first time since the battle began. Darui barely managed to flick his sword back into its bladed form and deflect the sudden attack, but that was all Kakuzu needed to put more distance between himself and his opponent in an attempt to figure out what his next plan of attack should be…

"Kakuzu!" Hidan roared as he landed near his partner, however unlike the elder he was covered in cuts and scrapes… and his left arm was missing. "Ya gotta help me out man! That rapping fucker cut off my arm!"

"Yo Darui." Bee hailed as he landed next to his partner as well, bouncing with all 7 of his blades in his joints casually. "How goes it, my brotha from anotha motha?"

"Could be worse." The bleached man shrugged. "Could be better, but could be worse." He looked at Hidan. "You sure did a number on him…"

Bee's glasses flashed as his voice and volume dropped considerably. "Brotha Scab was right. I got him good in his front, back, and side… but the mother fucker just wouldn't die…"

"I thought you studied how this clown fought during the tournament." Kakuzu frowned, looking at all the wounds his child of a partner had accumulated in such a short amount of time. "I had hoped it would take at least twice as long for you to get to this point…"

"It's not my fault!" Hidan moaned. "The bastard is using different swords! One second they're normal, the next they're reflecting light all over the place and blinding me every half a second! It's annoying as fuck!"

 _'So that buffoon has new weapons as well…'_ Kakuzu frowned as he reached to rip off his coat. ' _That man from Konoha must have made some kind of deal with them…'_ The black and red fabric fell to the earth, revealing more of the man's stitched up body and exposed his back to the world. '… _Leader was right to make killing the Kumo shinobi our top priority.'_ "Hidan. We're going to go with that…" The man frowned as he hunched over and four bulges literally ripped themselves from his back. Within seconds, the bulges had reshaped themselves into black masked monstrosities clearly larger than the standard human and landed behind their summoner.

The psychotic priest grinned sadistically as he readied his scythe again and slowly began to slide his foot against the ground. "About fucking time…"

Darui and Bee hunched over as they prepared for round two. "Bee… "The more mature of the two grunted. "Remember the plan. Don't use the Hachibi's chakra…"

Bee smirked. "Please. This shit is weak for the almighty Bee…" He made the standard half ram seal in front of his face. "Hidden Art…" He took in a deep breath reared back before unleashing a large tsunami of ink in front of him. "Artist's Hell!"

 _'Oil?'_ Kakuzu thought as the large wave of black fluid approached his side rapidly. "Hidan…" He grunted.

"Yeah…" The priest grinned, though somewhat put off that he couldn't finish his seal. "Let's kill these fuckers…" Just as the wave crashed onto the two men, they shot off in different directions. The monsters split off as well. The eagle and tiger masked beasts following Hidan while the bull and demon masked beasts followed Kakuzu.

The two sides moved once more. Bee and Darui used the black wave as a cover as they closed the distance between themselves and their enemies, both targeting their previous opponents. "Lightning Style!" Darui yelled as he flipped through several seals and black lightning shot up from his body and formed a giant beast. "Black Panther!"

 _'There it is again…'_ Kakuzu frowned as he formed his own seals and the two monsters behind him opened their mouths, each with a sickening crack. "Raiton: Gian. Doton: Gou (Lightning Style: False Darkness. Earth Style: Karma) (A/N: Keeping with the theme of Kakuzu's monster's moves being named after mobile suit gundam models, "Gou" is named based off of the model "Gouf"). The lightning shooting out of the demon's mouth and the earth fragments shooting out of the bull's mouth combined to unleash a barrage of immensely hard and sharp splinters at the black wave and beast charging it down. The two forces crashed upon one another with zeal, but it soon became apparent that the massive wave and beast combo were too much for the earth-lightning hybrid technique as it overwhelmed the wave and crashed down upon where Kakuzu and his heart beasts were.

Darui didn't get his hopes up as he stayed back from the massive exploding event and kept his eyes open for any movement. It didn't take him long to find his opponent as he rose out of the black ink some distance away from where he was originally attacked along with his lightning mask. The earth mask was nowhere to be found.

"Impressive…" Kakuzu frowned as he glanced to the hole where he was overwhelmed. From his distance from it, he could see the mask of his construct fall apart as the ink slowly filled the hole up and cover the white porcelain… "I didn't expect to lose one of my assets so quickly… that lightning of yours really is a fearsome thing to encounter…" He looked around and frowned. ' _This liquid isn't oil, or it would have been set on fire already from that attack… and it wasn't weakened by my earth element attack, meaning it doesn't rely much on water chakra… ink? A rather peculiar technique…'_

Darui smirked as he took out his sword again, this time channeling his lighting chakra into it. Instead of simply wrapping around the blade like streaming chakra normally did, the energy extended from the tip as well, lengthening the man's reach by a good half a foot. "Sorry, but flattery won't dull my performance…"

The two men glared at one another before the charged forward once more…

o. o. o.

With Bee:

The jinchūriki grimaced as he moved with great speed to dodge the blasts of wind and fire that Kakuzu's monsters were launching at him. While the man had clearly been dominating the beginning of the fight, the backup Hidan was receiving was more than enough to cause Bee to nearly lose his cool on occasion. Unlike most strategies, the beasts had no qualm about immolating or shredding their human partner in order to get to Bee, and said human partner had no issues with getting in the way of the attacks to wound his target.

"These fools are messin' up my beat…" The Raikage's brother grunted as he weaved around the scythe that the priest had thrown at him before twisting his body to dodge three blasts of wind. "I think it's time to take these suckas to the street…" Channeling more chakra into his body than before, the man blurred, moving at far faster speeds than Hidan had expected as he shot straight at the priest.

"The fuck?" The Jashinist swore as he barely had time to whip the thick cord that attached his scythe to himself in a way that would defend him from most attacks…

… Key term. Most attacks. The black man's lighting charged blades disappeared from sight as he slashed through the ropes almost easily before impaling and slicing the man all over. It was rather easy since he had already lost his right arm, but still this was a significant amount of damage to the immortal…

That still didn't stop him from using his free arm to latch himself to his opponent, though.

"That hurt, you dickless bastard…" Hidan growled before putting on a psychotic smile as the two elemental monsters appeared a fair distance behind him with their mouths wide open. "Let me return the FAVOR!"

"Shit!" Bee swore as the combination fire wind technique was unleashed on the two men… just as a new figure made its way between the two forces…

"Suiton: Hangyaku (Water Style: Rebellion)!" Said figure roared as a massive torrent of water shot out from its person to head off the attack. The two forces rammed against one another with immense power for several seconds… before the impossibly large deluge of liquid overwhelmed the raging inferno and barreled forward without restraint, crashing into the two chakra monsters and erasing them from sight. "I thought you could last longer than this… runner up." Zabuza snorted as he shouldered his weapon.

Before Bee could respond, Hidan had in a panic torn himself away from the man that had pinned him down, managing to cut the man with his scythe in the process… but also making it so that various parts of his body were holding on by mere strips of flesh. "You fools! You might have been able to beat me before…" He grinned as he licked the blood off of his scythe, changing the color of his skin to give him a grim reaper appearance and swiftly began to trace one of his feet on the ground. "But now… I will kill you all!"

Bee smirked. "Is that so? You might want to check where you're standin', bro…"

The psychotic man raised an eyebrow. "Eh? The fuck are you talking about you dead bast…!" He froze as he realized what Bee was referring to. He was shocked, stunned at how stupid he could be to overlook such an obvious flaw in his plans…

The ground all around them was covered in ink. The Jashinist couldn't make the seal to complete his technique.

"Your god has left you…" Zabuza grunted from behind the shocked man as he swung his sword, decapitating him in a single swing. "And now… so has your head…"

"Lame." Bee deadpanned as he relaxed his stance and checked the small scratch that Hidan had left him.

"I don't want to hear it from the idiot who raps all the damn time." Zabuza grunted as he hacked up Hidan's body and tossed the parts he made in random directions. Some in tress. Some a fair distance away. He was fairly certain he managed to get the man's left foot into a crow's nest… "Come on." He sighed as he turned to the direction where Darui's battle was still going on. "Your buddy sounds like he could use some help…"

"The fuck are you doing you doing!" Hidan's head roared angrily. "Do you know how much this shit hurts? When I get back to normal, I'm going to curse the ever loving fuck out of both of you!"

"Holy shit… I didn't actually think he would still be alive after cutting off his head…" He paused as Hidan spewed some more vulgar insults his way. "… he's starting to bug me… are you sure we should leave him not dead?"

"Just shut up and come on." Zabuza sighed. He would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised at seeing a talking head, even if he had known about it beforehand… but after all the random shit the Ōgakari had exposed him to, he could hide it better than a politician could. "If that friend of yours dies, your brother would be pissed. The last thing I need is another psychotic overpowered freak of nature gunning to kill me or make my life miserable…" He shook his head. "Seriously, I have it just as bad as a jinchūriki these days…" His eyes narrowed as he saw the two masked monsters he had beaten back slowly and unsteadily rise up again before running to their maker. "Damn, those things are stronger than they look. I thought that I had put enough chakra into that attack to take them out…" He ran forward, knowing that Darui would be in deep shit without backup soon.

"Hey, wait up!" Bee shouted as he chased after Zabuza. _That was one hell of an attack he just did from his sword… he could have easily beaten me with it during the tournament… but then again, I could have easily beaten him if I had used Hachibi's chakra… heh, I'll let him off the hook for now…_

"You bastards…" Hidan growled from the ground as he watched the two men run to fight his partner. "I swear on Jashin-sama that I will sacrifice every fucking part of your body, slowly and painfully. First with your skin, then your nails… then your… what's with that shadow? Is that a crow? Oi Itachi! I thought you were after the Kyūbi brat! The hell are you doing here for?" More fluttering of wings could be heard. "… Itachi? Please tell me that's you, man…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"Not good not good not good not good!" Naruto constantly repeated as he and Sasuke ran and dodged massive water sharks at the same time.

"Shut up and figure out a way to get us out of this fucking mess!" Sasuke roared as he ducked under a shark that almost bit his head off before shifting to the right to avoid several kunai that his brother had hidden under a genjutsu.

"It's not my fault that large amounts of exploding me does not work this time!" The blonde shouted hysterically as several more of his clones appeared to attempt to stall their pursuers. "It normally works!"

Fun fact: Unfortunately for Naruto and Sasuke, all members of Akatsuki were used to fighting members using large amounts of explosives after one event where Deidara got extremely drunk and got a bit trigger happy with his sculptures…

"Come up with something else!" The younger Uchiha shouted. "We are dealing with a guy with more chakra than you and my FUCKING OLDER BROTHER FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

Kisame chuckled as he rapidly closed in on the chūnin with his sword drawn. "I'm going to enjoy shredding you two!"

Itachi frowned as he was right behind his partner, panting slightly as his stamina had only been at half capacity due to his health episode several days beforehand. "Kisame. It would be best if he had them alive…"

"Teme! Emergency maneuver that you would probably kill me for later time!" The blonde shouted as he made a last slew of clones to stall their oncoming death. "Get ready to jump!"

"Oh no you don't!" The blue man shouted as he barreled through all the clones with his sword drawn.

Itachi frowned as he saw the air around and beneath his brother and his target swirl, condense and charge up with chakra. "Kisame! Stop!"

"JUMP!" The blonde roared as the air he had focused exploded beneath them, sending Naruto and Sasuke flying up and forward through the air at tremendous speeds far above the tree line and blasting Kisame back through several trees.

"Oooh shiiit!" Sasuke shouted as he flew higher in the air than he had ever been before, literally freefalling up as the two were launched towards what he could see was a moderately sized lake a small distance from the main road they were travelling on originally. Looking to his side, he saw that his teammate was having a far easier time dealing with his current situation than he was if the focused look in his eyes was any indication.

Soon enough, another thought entered his mind as the pair reached the apex of their leap… and started to head to the ground again. The good news was that from the looks of things, they were going to land on the lake. The bad news was that Sasuke knew for a fact that after you reached a certain speed, hitting water was no different than hitting concrete. "Dobe! I hope you have a plan for landing!" The Uchiha yelled in concern, knowing damn well that the blonde was just as likely to have no clue what he was doing as he was to actually know what he was doing at this point.

 _'Not yet…'_ Said psychotic blonde mentally grunted as he channeled the air around himself and Sasuke to ensure that they were not only physically close to one another, but that they would actually make it to the center of the lake.

"Dobe! We're getting close!" The Uchiha yelled, really not liking how fast they were approaching the ground.

 _'Almost… there…'_ He frowned as he bit his thumb slowly…

"NARUTO!" Sasuke yelled with good reason.

 _'Now!'_ The blonde rapidly flew through several seals. "SUMMONING!" He roared just as they were about to hit the water.

The surface of the lake exploded as water and smoke flew everywhere, not unlike several high quality exploding tags (though still nowhere near the level as one of Naruto's and Tenten's demolition tags) went off, sending a massive wave in all directions.

" **Oi brat! What's the big idea summoning me at terminal velocity?"** Asked an irritated Gamabunta as he raised his head from the lake. **"It was so sudden you nearly knocked the wind out of me!"**

"Akatsuki." Coughed Naruto as he picked himself up before collapsing onto his ass again. Summoning the toad boss was still a huge drain on his reserves since his control wasn't the greatest thing on the planet. Add the fact that he had been running for his life while making small armies of exploding clones and he was close to spent at the moment. "Needed to put some distance between us, and we ended up flying through the air like that. Sorry, Gamabunta."

"Ugh… I landed off…" Sasuke grunted as he picked himself up to try to shift his muscles back into place. "Wait… Gamabunta?" He looked down to see he was on a massive head. "The toad boss?"

" **Akatsuki, eh?"** The large toad grunted as he puffed out a ring of smoke from his pipe. **"I guess I can let you off the hook just this once, brat… though I thought you were going to wait a few more years before picking a fight with them…"** He paused before looking up. **"I take it this is one of your teammates that got caught in the crossfire?"**

"Sasuke Uchiha…" The Sharingan wielder grunted as he rolled his shoulders and looked around. "Thanks for the save by the way… but you might want to be on guard. My brother and a master of water ninjutsu with absurd reserves are the ones after us…"

" **An Uchiha, eh? It's been a while since I've seen one of your kind…"** Gamabunta grunted as his eyes shifted to where he felt some strong chakra signatures and slowly tensed his muscles to move. **"Seems you weren't kidding about being in danger. Those two definitely have a peculiar air around them…"**

"Eh?" Kisame grinned as he walked on top of the lake towards where the three were waiting. "The toad boss? That's certainly a surprise…" He swung his sword teasingly. "And here I thought I was going to be bored killing clones all the time…"

"Kisame… be careful. The toad summoning boss is not to be underestimated." Itachi frowned. "He can easily be used to counter many of your techniques…"

Before the two men could continue their conversation, the water on the lake surrounded the two of them, forming perfect spheres.

"What the?" Sasuke blinked in surprise as he tried to figure out what just happened. Slowly he watched as several dozen figures rose from the water's surface around the two trapped men.

"Kisame Hoshigaki and Itachi Uchiha. You two are S-ranked criminals under arrest for multiple crimes and for relations to those responsible for the manipulation of the Fourth Mizukage." The leader with an eye patch stated in an authoritative tone. "You will comply with our demands or we will have no choice but to take extreme measures in your handling…"

Sasuke blinked. "Kiri shinobi? What the hell? THEY were the trap?"

Naruto smirked. "Scab set it up. You'd be surprised what they would do for a person when several of their village's priceless artifacts were put on the line…"

The Uchiha paused before his eyes widened. "The 7 swordsmen's weapons that Kurotetsu stole… and with Kisame as additional pay…"

"It was all too easy to convince them and give them ambush points for the entirety of our trip to Kumo." The blonde grinned, remembering what Scabbard had explained to the group before they left that morning…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"Now listen carefully, because I will only explain this once." The green haired immortal stated in a dry tone. "Because of the way things were manipulated in Iron, I have a fairly accurate idea of how things are going to turn out when Akatsuki attacks… most likely today. I organized things so that Kisame would fight Zabuza in the first round, which led to the shark man's injuries, in addition to allowing Naruto to being conveniently seen by another one of the members in the gambling area. Because Hidan and Kakuzu were here to most likely accumulate funds for their organization, and Kisame and Itachi were here by chance, this will mean that their post tournament phase will have 4 main priorities. Capturing Naruto. Killing the shinobi from Kumo. Killing the shinobi from Konoha, and finally, obtaining funds. Because of the number of tasks there are, they will need to prioritize what comes first and plan accordingly." He took in a slow breath, still not breaking eye contact with any of the listeners.

"Should they have a keen head on their shoulders, or ask their leader, I have determined that their main priority will be to kill the Kumo shinobi in order to prevent word of them from reaching the village as well as sow discord between our two villages, as we have been seen together too many times to not reach the ears of others. Next will be Naruto, as he is still a vital part of their plans and as such will obviously need to be taken at some point. Third is the Konoha shinobi as we have already proven on multiple occasions to be a significant threat to their plans, and last is funds, which they can get anywhere. Due to how strong even one of their members is, as well as how well they work… or don't work together, they will most likely split up and focus on the top two priorities first at the same time, working their way down as soon as they finish their first one. Not only that, but due to Kisame being injured as he is, which once again I had set up in the first place, there will be a high chance that Itachi and Kisame will go after Naruto, who they will see as the smaller threat, while the still fresh Hidan and Kakuzu will go after the shinobi from Kumo who they will see as the bigger threat as they have seen many of Bee's and Darui's skills during the tournament. As such, I have set up our formation for this trip to force these two pairs to be as far apart from one another as possible…" He blinked slowly and exhaled audibly. "This case where the specified members go after the mentioned targets will be known as scenario 1. This plan of attack of theirs is what I had planned to set up as what they would do since the night in Iron when we had found out that 4 members of Akatsuki were with us."

The shinobi listening to the man swallowed heavily. The man in front of them was truly a scary individual indeed to be able to plan things out this far so quickly and manipulate so many men to do as he wanted so subtly and insanely quickly…

The leader took out a map and handed it to Naruto. "Should scenario 1 prove to be the case, I want you, Naruto, to lead Itachi and Kisame to the designated point on that map that corresponds to what time and day it is. That is where Kiri shinobi are stationed to ambush Kisame the moment he gets into range. As for why they are following my plans, I am only holding the weapons that Kurotetsu stole from them as ransom… also, I may have hinted to them in that letter that Hinata gave to them in Iron of certain sensitive events. Regardless, it will be imperative to lead the man these points in order to take him and Itachi down, or at least drive them off. Bring Sasuke with you so he can talk to Itachi. I gave him some of that recovery solution I gave Bee and Darui earlier, so he should be all green. We cannot manage or handle the full force of all 4 members at once the way we are now. There are too many distractions and factors to do so…" He turned to Bee, Darui and Zabuza. "While Naruto leads Itachi and Kisame, you three…"

o. o. o.

"My, my… It looks like we've been duped, Itachi…" Kisame chuckled inside the water prison, not at all worried about his current predicament.

"We should have seen this coming…" The Uchiha droned, mimicking his partner's lack of concern. "We knew that there were many Kiri shinobi in Iron… however, despite the fact that you and Zabuza were there, not a single one of them appeared during the past few days…"

"You two _will_ comply with our orders, or we will…" Ao frowned as he continued his well-practiced speech... just as several of the hunter-nin beside him were blasted away by a large wave of water. "What the?"

"Please, do you think your silly hiding could prevent Itachi from seeing you?" Another Kisame chuckled from farther back, standing next to a copy of Itachi. Within moments, the versions that were trapped exploded into water.

"Water clones…" Hissed one of the hunters.

"I thought that they were caught too easily…" Sasuke frowned.

"Don't get into close combat and stay in groups!" Ao barked out orders. "Remember out strategy for fighting them!"

"Heheheheheh…" Kisame grinned as he took out Samehada and swung it casually. "You know, this really does bring up memories of old times…" Very slowly, the weapon began to meld with his skin. "But unfortunately, I don't feel like playing around that much…"

"He's fusing with Samehada!" Shouted one of the hunter-nin. "Attack him before he can finish his transformation!"

With a blur of the hands of several of the shinobi there, jutsu and kunai flew towards the men with the intent to kill or at the very least maim… only for both figures to explode into a flock of crows. "Genjutsu!" Hissed one of the hunters in shock before he suddenly shot down underwater without warning. Moments later, the water there slowly stained itself red.

"He's already transformed!" Ao shouted as he activated his stolen Byakugan and took out some kunai with tags on them. "Use the kunai we prepared!" He threw the weapons in a seemingly random direction. "He's over there!"

"Right!" The men and women nodded as they took out similar pieces of metal and tossed them all over the specified area, letting them sink into the water. Several quiet seconds passed before the kunai detonated and multiple towers of water erupted.

"Depth charges…" Naruto mused.

"They intend to flush him out using the shockwaves from those custom made tags…" Sasuke frowned.

"A simple but efficient strategy…" Itachi droned behind them. "I may have to step in to help him…"

The two chūnin glanced at one another calmly before slowly turning around to see Kisame's partner casually standing behind them. "Itachi…" Sasuke grunted. "You have a lot to explain for…"

"I take it there's a strong genjutsu here that is preventing everyone else from seeing us talk." Naruto frowned. "No matter how many times I come across you, you still freak me out. I barely felt you approach us before… though you are a lot lower on chakra than I expected at the moment…"

"An aftereffect of the medicine Kushina gave me." The elder Uchiha droned in his near dead tone. "It was rather… potent."

"Medicine?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow before his eyes widened and turned to Naruto. "Wait, when the hell did you let your mom out?"

"To be blunt, I was dying of an incurable disease. However, your comrades managed to slip me some sort of concoction that purged my body of its contamination during the tournament." Itachi frowned. "Though the process was… less clean than I would have preferred, I can feel that it did work… though as of now, I am still not in the best of health…"

Sasuke paused before he thought of something. "… The disease… it would have killed you…" He whispered. "… You were planning on having me do it before it could…"

"To restore the clan's honor… yes." Itachi's eyes softened slightly. "I see that Hokage-sama has talked to you about the incident. I am relieved that you have not let your emotions rule your judgment…"

"You know, there was a smaller chance of that happening if you didn't mind fuck him when he was 7 years old." Naruto chuckled dryly, already regained a fair amount of his chakra again and trying to ignore the explosions littering the lake. "You really did a number on him. Honestly, it took forever to convert him from being a total prick into a halfway passable human."

"This coming from the child who recently made a small army's worth of suicide bombers…" Itachi glared at Naruto. "I am aware that we put you in a desperate situation… however, I must inform you that Kisame and I have had our fill of explosions from dealing with Deidara already and don't need any more…"

"I'm a 13 year old boy. Of course I'm going to go overboard with the explosives if I'm capable of doing so." The Uzumaki snorted. "Besides, they did their job of stalling and pissing you guys off, so I'd say it worked just fine."

"I'm glad I'm worth the effort." Sasuke deadpanned before turning to his brother again. "So how are we going to deal with the current situation?"

Itachi nodded. "The plan was for me to take Naruto as Kisame distracted the Kiri shinobi, but due to my weakened state, I can easily make something up along the lines of I can't use my Mangekyō without compromising the both of us and that your bond with your beast is stronger than expected. After rescuing Kisame and dispatching some more of the hunter shinobi, I would…!" He frowned instantly, albeit slightly, and turned to look in a direction where the deepest part of the lake was. "There may be a small problem…"

"What's the matter?" Sasuke asked as he activated his eyes and looked in the direction Itachi was looking.

Naruto also had focused his senses in order to determine what had triggered Itachi to immediately be on guard and froze.

"Nooooooo…" He said slowly, as if he were chiding a small child or animal. The energy he felt was not one he had encountered before, but recognized almost immediately. This could not be happening. This SHOULD not be happening. His luck could NOT be THAT bad. He knew that IT was in a lake somewhere in the Elemental Nations, but there was no way, no log forsaken noble butt-rod sized way, that it would be in THIS lake…

The water in that general area rippled slightly.

"No no no no no no no nooooooooo…" The boy continued, as if actually believing that the word he was constantly repeating would magically prevent what was about to happen from actually occurring…

" **Oi brats… I'm getting a feeling that something nasty is about to come up soon…"** Gamabunta grunted as he reached for his blade, still under the illusion that Itachi put up so that he didn't know that the man was there.

"The hell?" Sasuke's eyes widened as they saw the general shape of the thing beneath the surface as the lake became more turbulent.

"Things have just become more complicated." Itachi frowned as the water began to rise rapidly to shape a giant hill. "Those depth charge kunai must have disturbed its rest…"

"No no no no no no no!" The blonde continued to scream, desperately trying to deny the events that were unfolding in front of him as the giant mound of water in front of them exploded…

And the Three Tailed Turtle bellowed into the air in rage.

"…!" Naruto roared even louder in even greater rage…

o. o. o.

A/N:

… Biggest. Chapter. EVER.

Slams head on desk.

DONE!

1M word mark Met and Fucking passed!

Sorry about the wait guys, but between finishing college, being away from my computer for a week, trying to look for a job, and doing side jobs around town I've been a bit strapped for time lately. But yeah, I has a diploma! Electrical Computer Engineering Bachelors of Science! Now I have to deal… with… real… life… fuck.

REGARDLESS I AM DONE!

Onto other news!

I recently came across this amazing fic here that surprisingly enough is not Naruto related. It's called In Flight, by Gabriel Blessing. It's a Fate Stay Night Sekirei crossover, and to be blunt… it is possibly the greatest fic I have read on this site in a very, VERY long time, if not ever. If you are familiar with either series, you will love it, even if it may seem a bit confusing at times due to the amount of details it takes from the natsuverse (world that FSN, Tsukihime, and other series come from), but it is none the less epic in SO many ways…

I also started a couple of forums for people to discuss stuff on. There are 2 so far, but I will make more should the need or desire come. Google these names:

YAWALEH General discussion

YAWALEH Fan art

Post, comment, speculate, but please no flaming. And remember, I'm not politically correct, so yes, there are indeed stupid questions that no one would prefer not to answer or read. As a lenient guy though, I will only admonish the really stupid ones. So have fun!

Also, don't forget about the tv tropes page and it's cousin the list of crowning moments of funny page dedicated to YAWALEH. Any errors you see or anything you want to add, please do so.

So that's it folks! This chapter marks the crowning moment where it has surpassed the 1 million word mark, being the first Naruto fic to do so!

So Review! Worship the Log! Pray for my sake that the next story is nowhere near as long as this one! And REVIEW AGAIN!


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 66: I don't smoke weed, I don't do coke, I don't take pills, I don't eat shrooms, I don't sniff meth, I don't drink booze, I don't go to the shrink, I don't have any prescriptions, and I don't do any other kind of drug illegal or not… yet I swear I am one of the most twisted bastards on the face of the planet and it scares the ever loving crap out of me sometimes.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Iron:

Scabbard's internal clock ticked off at 15 minutes exactly since Naruto had stopped the caravan. Casually playing the game he had been screwing around with since the beginning of the trip, the man yawned and got up, stretching out his senses as he did so. Technically, the blacksmith had the worst sensory skills in his family bar none, mostly due to the fact that his absurd reserves jumbled up any and everything he would attempt to feel after a certain degree of sensitivity. This was often circumvented by his use of various machines and devices he had made over the years…

Still, with the individuals of interest fighting with their chakra going all out, even he would have little issue telling what was happening on both fronts.

 _'Hidan's signature is near nonexistent, so he's probably in a bunch of pieces right now… Kakuzu is calling up a fair amount of power and Darui is still going strong… Bee and Zabuza are running towards them too, so everything must be going according to plan there…'_ He mentally confirmed as he walked towards the back of the caravan.

"Sensei! Where are you going?" Ino asked worriedly. "I thought you were going to stay here with us just in case those Akatsuki guys try and use us as insurance."

"I'll be back momentarily." The man yawned as he casually hopped from one carriage to another. "Just checking up on a small something… stay right there for now."

"Hurry up, will you…" Kiba shivered. "Those signatures back there are freaking me out. I swear it's like I'm smelling 5 scents in one body…"

"That's because you are." The immortal replied in a bored tone as he hopped along the carriages some more. ' _Back to sensing. On Naruto's front… of course… the Sanbi. Far be it for me to assume that a .00137 percent chance won't actually bear fruit when Naruto is around. Other than the demon, it seems that Gamabunta has been summoned…that's good at least, and Itachi, and Kisame and the Kiri shinobi are all in position. … Meh. I'll leave them alone for now. Naruto's been in enough situations that he can handle himself for a while. Plus, Itachi will probably be able to pull back Kisame on some pretense, probably along the lines of running out of chakra or the need to inform Nagato about the location of the Sanbi. It'll be a good learning experience for Sasuke, too…'_

The immortal stopped on a seemingly ordinary carriage a fair distance away from any of the groups remaining. "God, I love cheating and rigging the system…" He sighed, still playing the game. "Up up… down down. Left right left right… b a b a… start." Without even bothering to look at it, the man stomped his real foot down on the roof three times. "You guys are up. Scenario 1."

In the blink of an eye, 4 human sized blurs shot out of the wooden box rapidly and circled widely till they were running towards the back of the caravan, each one using the cover of the nearby trees to hide their presence…

The immortal sighed aridly as several dozen cardboard boxes flooded his game screen and began to eat all his enemies comically. "Gotta love the classics…"

o. o. o.

In the fight against Kakuzu:

"You know… when we were told that we would be up against some fucked up shit… I don't think I spent enough time to truly prepare myself for stuff on this level…" Darui groaned as he dodged another blast of concentrated wind coming from the mask that had reattached itself to Kakuzu's body, alongside the other two masks that had barely managed to return to the man before Zabuza and Bee could take them out. Now back with their creator, they were mostly safe from any offensive onslaught as the master had determined that if he was to survive, he would have to pull out the big guns… which is why he was now a virtual tentacle/spider monster shooting elemental attacks in virtually every direction.

"Less bitching, more lasers!" Zabuza roared before avoiding a shot of lightning from the demon mask on Kakuzu's side. "WHAT THE FUCK IS IT WITH ME AND LIGHTNING TECHNIQUES ALREADY?! IS IT SOME KIND OF UNIVERSAL JOKE?!"

"The hell should we know? Whoa!" Bee shouted as he dodged a fire blast aimed at him. "Man, this guy is the real deal! He's taking us all on at once but still not letting us use seals!"

"Obviously." Kakuzu grunted as he shot more elemental attacks at the men.' _Even if none of them are earth elements to replace the one I lost… I am curious as to see what would happen if I implanted the heart of a bloodline user… despite all my time freelancing, I haven't had the chance to experiment with the heart of an elemental bloodline holder before…'_

"Fuck off already!" Zabuza grunted as a huge amount of water extended from his sword and attempted to hack off some of the twisted legs that supported Kakuzu's body. Unfortunately, the heart stealer managed to jump up before he lost anything valuable and in the process focused all three of his masks on one point.

"Trinity…" Kakuzu snorted as all three masks rapidly channeled their elements in the direction of Zabuza before unleashing of what could be described as a stream of raging plasma at the man.

"Son of a…" The assassin swore before pointing his sword at the attack with one hand and resting his palm behind the pommel. ' _This is going to take a lot of water out of storage to hold back…'_ "REBELLION!" He roared, forcing a massive torrent of pressurized water to shoot from the blue metal of his weapon and collide with the oncoming beam. Because both attacks were ongoing streams, constantly being fueled by their sources, the collision point exploded outward like a fine line that determined where one attack stopped and another began. Tremendous amounts of steam flew everywhere, yet it was not enough to cover the two attacks from the sight of everyone else in the slightest.

Kakuzu frowned. ' _Even if he has a slight type advantage over me, there should be no way that he be able to hold an attack of this kind off so easily. The only person I can think of that can pull this off is Kisame, but even he would prefer different tactics to this…'_

"Ya forgot to watch your 6, ya foo." Grunted a familiar voice from behind him, causing the miser's eyes to widen.

 _'Fast!'_ Kakuzu mentally shouted as he whipped his fist, which was at the end of another cord of tentacles, and managed to backhand Bee away hard before the man could do any damage…

However, he had done his part, as the small distraction was enough for Kakuzu's focus on his tri element attack to weaken, allowing Zabuza's tremendous torrent to gain the upper hand and plow through the opposing attack.

Kakuzu responded by quickly shooting one of his pseudo-legs down to the ground and using it to drag him out of the way before he was caught in the monstrously huge water attack… only to be caught off guard by an equally monstrous black lightning panther. In a frantic attempt to counter the attack, the man cracked open his wind and lightning element masks and rushed out a collaboration technique that took the form of a barely held together charged cyclone. The technique did next to nothing when it encountered the elemental feline, but it stalled it long enough to prevent Kakuzu from getting absolutely killed in the onslaught, settling for having almost half of the tentacles that he had conjured up charred and next to useless and a stinging shock running through half his body.

 _'There's too many of them…'_ He grunted as he blasted the ground with his wind element mask to create a smokescreen and gain some space. ' _If they were moderately skilled shinobi, I wouldn't have much issue with these numbers, but they aren't… far from it. I can't directly take them all on at once. Damn it Hidan, the one thing you were supposed to be useful for and you even screwed that up…'_ "You are all strong…" He grunted, hoping to stall for time to clean his body of the paralyzing effects of that last attack and come up with some kind of plan. "Very strong… though I am somewhat surprised… Konoha shinobi working along Kumo shinobi… I haven't seen something like this in a while…"

"I take it you're older than you look." Darui frowned. While he wasn't informed about how old Kakuzu really was, he had been given enough to know that the monster in front of him was probably more experienced than any member of his team.

The heart thief snorted. "You could say that… though I doubt you could put an age on something that looks like this in the first place…" An idea popped into the man's head. "Speaking of age… I wonder how old those brats of yours are holding out…" He cocked his head to the side curiously. "After all, that jinchūriki of yours is still only a kid. I doubt he would last long against Itachi and Kisame…"

Darui's eyes widened in shock. "Jinchūriki…?" ' _The hell? That blonde kid is a jinchūriki? Why the hell are they targeting him?'_ The man's rampant thoughts screeched to a halt when he remembered that according to the Konoha shinobi, Akatsuki were after Bee as well. ' _They are after jinchūriki… and Konoha knows that Bee is one…'_

"Still…" Kakuzu smirked as his back began to morph rapidly. "It still seems a bit unfair to keep the rest of those kids of yours all alone with nothing to do…" The eagle masked monster shot out from his back and flew high into the air fully healed before zooming over the caravan.

"Shit! The brats!" Zabuza yelled before trying to move, only to find all his limbs tied up with small strands of Kakuzu's strings, as were Bee's and Darui's limbs as well.

"This ain't right! This ain't fly! For fuck's sake dude, I'm a GUY!" Bee screamed hysterically, trying to get the tentacle like appendages off of him.

"Be quiet, or you'll miss the show that I've carefully made for you before you die…" Kakuzu smirked as he turned the men around to see his free masked beast fairly high above the caravan and looking down with its mouth open. "Time to make your brats see what being a real ninja is all about…" ' _That bluff helped me out. Making them focus on the mask I sent into the air distracted them from the strands I was hiding underground…'_ "Atsugai." He smirked as the mask unleashed a massive wind maelstrom upon the men and horses from above…

Only to be headed off by an equally large blast of seemingly pure chakra from directly beneath it.

"What?" Kakuzu growled. "What sort of technique is that? This doesn't feel like Ōgakari…" His eyes frowned as he suddenly felt two rather large sources of chakra coming from that direction. In an instant, his beast was on the defensive as it dodged multiple smaller blasts of chakra from the mysterious new foe. Each one was apparently as strong as one of his beast's smaller attacks as he watched some of the two respective forces collide. "Then who?" He frowned. Sending out a single one of his beasts had clearly proven to be a bad idea. Sending the mental signal, he called it back as quickly as he could. He could still easily kill the three in front of him now with the power at his disposal, but finding a good wind element user's heart was a complete pain to do. Better to play it safe and do things one at a time rather than risk doing it all at once and losing a valuable asset…

The thief could see his beast lowering in altitude as it approached him… when the second large source of chakra moved… very quickly… and kicked his beast in the face. The green blur then proceeded to move at extremely high speeds and knock the black monster all over the place at speeds even Kakuzu had trouble keeping up with. ' _What in the world?'_ The older man all but raged as he watched one of his more valuable hearts get beaten to a pulp in midair before launching it up and a bit to the side of the caravan. Despite the distance, Kakuzu could manage to see the small boy in green spandex appear behind his beast and wrap it up in some kind of white cloth before spinning both rapidly headfirst towards the ground. ' _A Lotus? A brat that age knows the Lotus? But that speed he used before was not like anything a child his size could achieve using only one gate… his skin is dark red… 5 gates… this is becoming more irritating every second…'_

He was then once again cut out of his thoughts as a massive dome of pure chakra appeared beneath the spinning pair, screeching loudly and menacingly as if daring for the diving drill to come closer, which it did. The green clad boy had freed himself from his victim at the very last moment, but the black beast's destination could not be changed as it collided with the thrashing dome head on with a loud thrum that was felt from where the 4 men were standing. They all watched as its body, spinning in the opposite direction of the dome, was literally torn to shreds right in front of them.

Zabuza snorted, clearly amused with what had just transpired and proving that he was the only one of the three men there that wasn't struck speechless at the moment. "You were right. That was a good show."

Kakuzu's legendary rage immediately reached its peak the moment Zabuza's words hit him, and in response, both masks he had on him cracked open. "Yeah…" He growled as the elements both reached their peak. "It was…"

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

"… AND IT WILL BE THE MOST DELICIOUS SOUP I WILL EVER HAVE IN MY SCARRED AND CURSED LIFE!" The blonde roared at the top of his lungs in pure rage before collapsing on all fours on Gamabunta's head and breathing heavily, not at all caring that everyone was staring at him like he was insane.

"… Are you done?" Sasuke asked a fair bit farther away from the boy than he originally was.

"Yeah…" He wheezed out between gasps. "He left, huh?" He was referring to Itachi.

"Before you even got to the U's of your first swear." Sasuke sighed. "He'd have to, you were drawing everyone's attention over here…" He pointed to the Sanbi, which was oddly enough also staring at him curiously. "You actually managed to confuse the living shit out of whatever that thing is."

"It's the damned Sanbi, teme." Naruto grunted as he got back up. "You know how Gaara was insanely strong? That's because he had the Ichibi sealed in him… and you know about my condition…" His eyes narrowed. "If you want to know how stupidly absurd our situation really is, think of it this way: this is the ONLY tailed beast that isn't sealed in someone and is running around free right now."

Sasuke let out a slow breath before activating his eyes again and looking around. He could literally see how absurdly powerful the turtle was, and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't unnerved at the moment. "So we have several dozen teams of Kiri shinobi, a pair of subprime Akatsuki, us with Gamabunta, and the Sanbi in a massive free for all fight?"

Naruto smirked bitterly. "Almost. We're kinda on the same side as the Kiri shinobi, but other than that, yeah… team death match."

"… God, I hate you, dobe."

"What else is new?" The blonde sighed before focusing inwards and established a connection between his parents, the Kyūbi and himself. "' _Oi guys! I'm going to need a refill soon! We have some unexpected company! How long do I need before I'm at least a good way recharged?' "_ Technically he could have just pulled up the Kyūbi's chakra raw for a quick refill and boost, but he didn't want to risk the Kiri shinobi nearby finding out he was a jinchūriki by seeing and feeling him being surrounded by demonic chakra.

 ** _Keheheheh…_** The Kyūbi's voice chuckled. **_So the Sanbi has decided to show itself? How amusing…_**

" _Naruto! Can you stay safe for roughly 5 minutes? We can safely restore almost 80 percent of your reserves if you can!"_ Minato's voice responded just as the blonde could feel his body recovering at a faster rate.

" _How fast can you do not safely?"_ Naruto asked with a frown as the Sanbi's movements began to pick up again and move towards Gamabunta. _"We're kinda pressed for time here! Facing down a pissed Bijū that's looking straight at me and all!"_

There was a brief pause before Kushina's voice spoke up. " _You would be suffering from some minor chakra poisoning later… but we could flood some of the Kyūbi's less processed chakra into you and have your reserves fully restored in a little over a minute… but…"_

" _Do it do it do it it's coming straight for us!"_ The blonde mentally roared as the Sanbi picked up steam. "Bunta! Stall that thing for about a minute so I can summon Gamahiro and Gamaken to help out!"

" **Right!"** The toad boss yelled as he crouched down. **"Hang on Uchiha! This is going to get rough!"** With that, the massive animal launched itself above the other and unleashed several massive water blasts that impacted the beast's immensely hard shell before landing behind it. No sooner than he did, he whipped out his knife in order to defend himself against one of the turtle's flailing tails.

"Sasuke, it may be a bit late, but use the tree walking exercise to stay on his head." Naruto stated calmly as his partner picked himself up after almost falling off.

"Thanks for the warning." Grunted the irritated Uchiha as he once again attempted to shift his muscles back into place. He was definitely going to have to see a chiropractor or a medic-nin after he got back home after this…

He was snapped out of his thoughts when the tailed beast let loose a massive roar, displacing all the water around it in the following shockwave and launching Gamabunta back a fair distance before the summon managed to regain his balance and land correctly with a grunt. **"I hate fighting bijū…"**

8 seconds had passed…

"Oi Itachi, we've definitely gotten ourselves into an amusing situation…" Kisame grinned as he popped above the water away from the Kiri shinobi near his partner, using the wave that the Sanbi had made as a cover. "Why didn't you go get the brat while everyone was distracted?"

"He detected me." The Uchiha mused. "He was skilled enough to temporarily hold me off in my current state for a small amount of time… however, that was when the Sanbi showed up. I retreated, but not before putting a genjutsu on the Sanbi to attack the toad boss…"

"Two for one, eh? Not bad." The shark man grinned. "Ah… but seeing the Sanbi again sure does bring back fun memories… Too bad little Zabuza isn't here to see this. He'd probably blow a fuse if he did…"

"You seem to be having trouble against these numbers…" The younger of the two observed.

Kisame's smirk dropped a small amount as he remembered the damage he had sustained so far. "Yeah well, it's not like they don't know how I fight. They'll probably run out of those annoying tags soon though, seeing as they only had at most a couple of days to prepare for fighting me…"

"It appears that they are coming again…" Itachi mused as his body scattered into a bunch of crows. "Do you want my assistance?"

Kisame's insane look widened. "Nah." His head disappeared beneath the water. "The more the merrier... but the boss will probably kill us if we lose sight of the brat…" Darting to the nearest cluster of Kiri shinobi, the shark man was about to make some new kills when several more of those annoying depth charge kunai sunk into the water right in front of him. "Tch…" He clicked his teeth as he swam away fast enough to only get slightly hurt by the exploding weapons. Making some seals, the literal human shark focused his chakra and formed 5 actual massive sharks made out of chakra. "Those annoying pests seem to know where I am… let's see how well they can multitask then…" He grinned as all 6 of them darted off in 6 directions… to 6 different targets…

" **How much longer?"** Gamabunta roared as he whipped out his studded tongue to smack aside another one of the Sanbi's tails. **"Fighting a bijū isn't an easy thing to do, you know!"**

"No shit!" Naruto yelled back before taking in a good breath and calming himself down. "Just give me a few more seconds!"

Gamabunta could only grunt as he deflected another whipping tail with his knife… only to swear as a massive blast of water came his way. **"Shit! I can't dodge it!"**

Naruto grit his teeth as he without hesitating jumped off his summon's head and clasped his hands as far as he could above his own head while flaring his chakra. "Let's hope your new weapons are as good as you say they are, Scab…" He grunted as a massive blade of chakra shot out from his arms skyward, easily the size of a sword fit for a boss sized summon.

" **When the hell did he learn that?"** The large toad grunted, failing to hide his shock and how impressed he was.

Sasuke frowned as he looked at Naruto with his eyes activated… or more importantly, his friend's arms. Naruto never did explain what his new talons could do… but from what he could see with his eyes, it appeared as if the fibers on the gauntlets were capable of channeling and stabilizing chakra to extreme levels. Looking up, he took in the produced blade itself. The monstrous edge was tremendous in size. Straight like a western styled sword, however its center was flat and covered in countless swirling patterns that could easily be interpreted as the flow of wind or water…

"I fucking love being a wind element!" The blonde roared, snapping Sasuke out of his thoughts as his teammate swung the monstrosity downward and sliced the oncoming attack in half with only some effort, twisting his arms slightly at the very end to send both halves sideways and missing him and Gamabunta completely. Quickly canceling out the technique and flipping until he hit the water, the boy peaked his Presence and his chakra… and absorbed some natural energy from the air around him. "Screw it. No one's close enough to tell if I'm in Sage Mode, and I need the boost more than I need to lay low right now." The boy rapidly made some seals and nicked his thumbs with his sharp teeth before pointing them to either side of his body. "Summoning!" He roared and the area in front of the irritated Bijū was once again filled with smoke, and several seconds later, a sea green frog wielding two katana and a magenta colored toad with a spiked club and shield emerged on either side of the boy.

" **The Sanbi…"** Gamahiro grunted as he withdrew his weapons with loud metallic ringing.

" **I'll try my hardest… but I am a bit clumsy…"** Gamaken's deep voice rumbled. **"Please take care of me, Gamabunta-sama and Gamahiro-sama…"**

" **Heh…"** Gamabunta smirked as Naruto jumped up his limbs before landing on his head again. **"I like the odds a lot better now, kid…"**

"We're still up against the Sanbi, Gamabunta." Naruto frowned, his golden eyes narrowed as he determined the location of the other shinobi around. With Sage Mode activated, his sensing abilities had skyrocketed and extended into the ground and water, places that he couldn't scan at all before. The good news was that the Kiri shinobi were still holding off Kisame fairly well and Itachi had come up with some reason to stay on the sidelines. The bad news was that they had still lost a fair number of fighters, something that just didn't sit well with him. "And after this, we have to make sure that Akatsuki won't be a problem."

Sasuke frowned as he took in Naruto's new appearance and the drastic change in chakra. "I take it that this is one of those things you were holding back unless things really went to hell?" He asked in a sarcastic tone.

Naruto smirked. "Yeah, it's also something that will get all of us into a lot of shit if you tell people about it, so it would be sweet of you to completely forget about what you've seen."

Sasuke rolled his eyes before focusing on the situation again. "Any drawbacks?"

The blonde shrugged. "There were…" He replied mysteriously before bracing himself as the massive turtle began to move again. "Brace yourself…"

"I'm thrilled." The Uchiha sarcastically moaned before the four monstrously huge beasts moved…

o. o. o.

Back with the caravan:

"I… should have expected something like this to happen…" Kakuzu grunted as his lightning mask fell apart off his shoulder and looked around constantly so that he wouldn't get caught off guard by one of the 7 shinobi surrounding him.

He of all people should know that fights between shinobi can go to hell in an instant, but in his rage, he had completely forgotten the possibility that the bastards might have actually been smart enough to consider hiring backup in Iron and hide them in the caravan, especially since there was a proverbial ton of skilled individuals in Iron attempting to win the tournament at the time…

The moment Kakuzu had attempted to kill Bee, Zabuza and Darui in one massive blast, the four newcomers had jumped into action from out of nowhere. Two of them, both wielding swords, got in front of him and his targets. The first, a man who looked rather wild looking, made a few seals and spat out a rather strong looking water wall technique. It held against the lightning-fire technique for a few seconds and weakened it a fair amount, but it still wasn't enough… but that was where that second swordsman came in, fairly tall and wearing the headband and standard armor for Kusa on his forehead, swinging that large broadsword of his. The weapon itself did not seem anything grand at first… until that ridiculously huge array of seals on its side lined up like freaking exploding tags. The weapon made contact with his jutsu in mid swing and against all logic actually sent the charged inferno back at him, incinerating the strings that held down the original three targets. Kakuzu wasted no time dodging to the side… only to encounter a very large man… and likewise, his lightning mask's face encountered the man's equally large and hardened fist, launching him in the other direction, where he was pummeled with several dozen kunai and shuriken. They didn't do any real damage, barely getting through his naturally hard skin at best, but it only took a moment for Kakuzu to see that the tools were coated in some kind of liquid. It was only then, when he found his legs again, that he realized that the man that had hit him just moments before had done enough damage to crush his lightning heart, causing the mask on his shoulder to crumble into pieces.

"Hey Zabuza-sempai. What's up? Didn't expect me to show up and save your ass, now did you?" Ryoji smirked.

"I'm fairly certain that anyone who actually remembers you would say the same thing, you idiot." The elder of the two grunted. "Still… I was wondering where you were when you didn't show up after the tournament. I half expected you to be laughing your ass off half drunk and trying to shove a bottle of hard liquor down my throat that night."

The wolf man chuckled. "I was on my way to do just that when me and these nuts from Kusa got hired for this job. The dude pays well… though considering how freaky this guy looks, I can see that there was a reason for that check…" He paused. "Well, check for the bear guy and the chick. Broadsword and I got upgrades for our swords. Did you know that people are already calling that friend of yours the Hill of Blades?"

"Now I do." Zabuza sighed. "Don't want to, but now I do."

The heart thief looked around and tried to put a name to some of the newcomers. The original three opponents took their own position around his person, but the newcomers were playing it safer and working in pairs. ' _I don't recognize the man with the sword and the Kusa headband… or the bitch with the blue hair and the Kusa band either…'_ He mused. ' _However, the other two… I'm fairly certain the big one that hit me is Sleeper Kuma… and that wolf man is Ryoji the Longclaw of Kiri… both of them have fairly large bounties on their heads…'_

Thump, th-thump thump thump…

"Gah!" Kakuzu grunted as both of his remaining hearts beat irregularly. It was bad enough when one heart was off, but all of them at once was more than enough to cause the man to start to panic. ' _It must have been that poison that bitch had laced on her weapons…'_

"I see that you are having some trouble…" Mused a familiar bored voice, grabbing everyone's attention as Scabbard Ōgakari walked casually into the area. "You should realize by now that you really don't stand a chance in your current situation."

"What… do you want…?" Kakuzu growled, knowing that by all means they had the perfect chance to kill him now. Any plan to steal the heart of another member of that group would end in him getting completely murdered in his current condition. From the way the man was walking, he could tell that the cocky green haired prick wanted something.

"Straight to the point. As expected of a man who is familiar with how high level business deals work." Scabbard nodded approvingly. "Very well. It is rather simple. I simply want you to deliver a message to that rather formidable leader of yours."

"Oi, what the hell is this?" Rika yelled irritably. "We're going up against an S-ranked psychotic tentacle badass that's probably going to come after us the moment he gets better, and you want to let him go?"

The man smirked. "Ah, yes. Of course, a slight change in the message needs to be made to accommodate the lady's concerns, but the deal will remain essentially the same. Should you go against the deal… well, let's just say that your boss will not be pleased that you held back information from him…"

Kakuzu panted as he attempted to regain control of his irregularly beating hearts. If only he still had his fire element heart… "Fine. Whatever. Just tell me the damned message so I don't croak before I give it to him." He could bother with being curious about the message later.

Scabbard smirked. "Tell him to stick to the three years and to keep away from the 5 major countries, Taki, and Kusa…" He paused and looked at Bee and Darui. "… Or else the world will know where the 7th path sleeps. He'll know what it means."

The poisoned man glared at the shortest man there. "How… do you know about the three years?" He gasped.

The confident immortal shook his head condescendingly. "Honestly. Do you really think you have time to ask such questions? If you don't hurry, you really might die… and I'll have to find some other way to send the message. I could use your partner… but we both know that he's not the most reliable person to give such information to."

The second eldest man there growled as he stared into the lightning man's eyes. He couldn't tell that the individual in front of him was immortal or possessed absurd reserves of energy on levels that would have even Kisame burst out laughing at the absurdity of the amount there. What he could tell though, was that the person in front of him was… unnatural… and his entire body knew it. This seemed to be the last straw for the heart stealer. Roaring almost inhumanly in frustration, Kakuzu jumped away and quickly disappeared into the forest, leaving the 8 fighters there still on guard.

"He won't be showing up anytime soon." Scabbard yawned. "The man lost most of his assets and that poison Rika stuck in him is throwing his body fora loop. It will be a while before he recovers… let alone be in decent fighting shape again."

Darui sheathed his weapon. "You are a terrifying man. You managed to predict how they would attack, who they would attack, the way they would split up, our best matchups, and that that bastard would attack the caravan, and still thought far enough ahead to hire strong backup… and we won without you lifting a finger."

Kuma frowned. "Speaking of those robed shinobi, I'm sensing a bunch of massive signatures coming from the direction the other kids went. One of them is definitely not human…"

Scabbard childishly blinked. "Ah, yes. I had completely forgotten about that. It appears that the lake where I had advised the Kiri shinobi to ambush Kisame coincidentally held the Sanbi in it… which I actually did not know about, believe it or not…"

Zabuza's and Ryoji's features hardened instantly. "THE SANBI?" They roared at once in rage and confusion.

"A rogue bijū?" Darui blinked in confusion and shock. "Wait… I thought that the Sanbi was still in Kiri!"

"Right…" Rika nodded slowly before turning to Kuma. "I think we just took on a suicide mission…" She whispered to him loudly.

"No… the shinobi from Kusa and Darui will stay here and help the kids keep the peace." Scabbard yawned. "Zabuza and Bee will be following me to the other fighting area to make sure everything doesn't go to hell. Worst case scenario, Akatsuki has a good number of its targets captured and Kiri gets incredibly pissed at Konoha… best case scenario…" A small but purely evil smile slowly etched its way onto his face. "… Science…"

o. o. o.

Ōgakari compound:

Four doors inside the house slammed open, all giving way to four hysterically screaming humans… and one equally freaked out dragon.

"Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!" Shadow repeated constantly as she began to look around in every direction frantically as if she were surrounded by her worst nightmare and running around in circles.

"Squeak! SQUEAK! **SQUEAK!"** Zuzushi voiced herself in equal distress, latched onto her container's head so firmly that her claws cut through several veins, causing Shadow to bleed a fair amount… not that the woman could tell at the moment.

Crypt on the other hand had shot his head out from the floor screaming like a small girl, tripping Shadow and sending the woman flying out the window in the process.

"We must calm down. Freaking out will only make things worse! We must CALM DOWN!" Waltz roared, more to himself than to anyone else, before grabbing a hold of Ghost who was also screaming and running at the same time and slapped him rather hard on his head if the cracking sounds were any indication. "STOP PANICKING!"

"Someone please find a way to kill meeeee!" Ghost wept to the heavens.

"I don't want to interrupt this family moment…" Anko growled from the top of the stairs clad only in a towel, proof that just moments before she had been getting a massage from Ghost. "… but WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"

"Scab said the S-word…" Shadow hissed as dove back into the house from the window she had just flown out of and looked around as if anything could come out and attack her at the moment. "Bad things happen when he says the S-word… to us… that hurt… a lot…"

"Squeeeeeaaaaakkk…" Zuzushi shivered with wide traumatized eyes. The sudden movement in the small dragon's claws ruptured another artery in Shadow's head, causing blood to squirt comically in a random direction.

"Um… isn't Scab all the way in Iron right now, though?" Anko tilted her head in confusion and irritation.

"Do not underestimate that one…" Waltz shivered as his wrinkled eyes darted everywhere. "He has his ways to get anyone to do anything for him. Normally he is manageable… however, once something that he wants to experiment on enters his gaze … the natural order is forever warped and scarred… and nightmares are born…"

"There is only one thing to do then." Ghost nodded. "WE MUST FIND THE NEAREST VOLCANO AND THROW OURSELVES INTO IT! BY THE TIME OUR BODIES HAVE REPAIRED THEMSELVES, ENOUGH TIME SHALL HAVE PASSED THAT SCAB WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE DESIRE TO WARP OUR MINDS AND OR BODIES… OR HE WILL USE SOME OTHER UNFORTUNATE SOUL FOR HIS EXPERIMENTS!"

"AGREED!" Shouted the rest of the clearly demented clan at once… before Anko cracked a shovel that she had grabbed from seemingly nowhere over Ghost's head and knocked him out.

"You guys go do that…" Anko growled as she grabbed the back of Ghost's clothes and dragged him back up the stairs. "Ghost on the other hand is going to be busy pampering Hana and me until he WISHES Scab got a hold of him. We just spent the entire night dealing with two boss summons, and there is no way we are going to let him get out of relieving our stress that easily…"

"That's a lot of pampering." Shadow mused, causing the conscious members of her family to nod in agreement, before clapping her hands together. "Right! The escape plan! Crypt! Find us the nearest volcano! Chop Chop!" She paused for a moment. "And don't just do things the easy way and make one under the house this time!"

o. o. o.

Back with Naruto:

Sasuke had been through a fair amount in his short life so far, more than what many shinobi would hope to get through alive by the time they were in their prime of their career... and live through. He had faced up against a bloodline user and the Demon of the Mist and survived, winning in the former's case by a bare margin, he had faced off against Orochimaru and lived with a little help from his friends, he had earned his chūnin rank on his first examination only a little over 6 months after becoming a genin, aided in fighting off an invasion that threatened to destroy his home, helped rescue a small nation from a tyrannical overlord, helped blow up said tyrannical overlord's castle to kingdom fucking come, been in a movie, and tied for first in an international swordsmen competition. Oh yeah… and the whole, watching his family get slaughtered constantly at the age of 7 and fought against his S-ranked criminal brother and partner kinda made the list too…

But even he didn't expect to ever be stuck on the back of a giant toad, fighting a three tailed demon turtle in the middle of some nameless lake, alongside two more giant amphibians in a giant battle of the beasts brawl, while nearby his brother's partner was fighting and killing several dozen professional hunter-nin from Kirigakure…

 _'If I wasn't on the verge of throwing up, I'd be freaking out seeing as this is probably one of the largest shinobi battles to ever take place other than the invasion since the third war…'_ The Uchiha mentally grunted as Gamabunta landed roughly with a large splash before slashing at another tail whipping at him from above. ' _The second I get back home and recover, I'm going straight to Kakashi for more training… preferably starting off with dealing with severe cases of whiplash…'_

" **Damn it… those tails are almost as annoying as that shell of his…"** Gamabunta grunted as he watched Gamahiro deflect the remaining two tails while Gamaken slammed his massive sasumata onto the beast's back, creating an explosion in the process. Unfortunately, judging from how the beast roared, the only thing he seemed to accomplish was angering it even more. His assumptions were proven correct as the massive beast unleashed another rage filled shockwave that blasted all three toads back relentlessly. **"Brat, do you have any bright ideas, because at this point I'm all ears."** The strongest of the toads frowned as he landed on his feet a good ways back alongside his fellow amphibians. Those blasts of pure chakra were annoying him to no end and they were starting to do some real damage to his stomach.

"… We gotta hit it head on, in the face or on the head." The blonde responded with a frown as he picked himself back up. "Hitting the shell is useless, and trying to attack from underneath would mean attacking underwater which would weaken our strikes in the first place…"

" **I figured that much out, but doing it is the problem. Fighting him close puts us in range of his tails, and if we do it from a distance, it will just cancel out whatever we throw at it with one of its water jutsu…"** The toad boss grunted, noting that his blade had seen better days and that it would need some work as soon as he got back.

Naruto took in a deep breath and looked around, taking in the condition and abilities of the summons and his teammate. "Teme… think you can pull off a massive collaboration technique in your condition?"

Sasuke glared at Naruto before taking in a deep breath and swallowing. "I'll manage…" He grunted.

The blonde smirked before he looked down at his ride, his eyes returning to normal as he did not want to stay in Sage Mode in the first place. "Bunta! I got an idea! We need Hiro and Ken to hold the Sanbi in place while we do a massive collaboration technique straight at its face! It should be strong enough to overwhelm its counter attack and hit it dead on! You got the oil! I'll add to the power with my wind, and Sasuke will light it all up! I'll act as the signal to align your chakra to since you two aren't used to working with one another! Got it!"

" **Heheh. A bullet version of Goemon without the sage chakra, eh? Sure! Sounds like fun!"** The toad boss laughed and put away his weapon with a loud scrape of metal. **"You boys hear the brat?"**

" **Yeah!"** The two massive toads roared in unison as they charged at the turtle with renewed vigor, causing the beast they are fighting to roar in rage and whip its tails around wildly.

" **Better not blow this! I'm setting us up!** " The toad boss yelled as he began to make seals and his cheeks began to puff out.

"Right behind you!" The blonde roared as he placed both his hands on the toad boss' head and pumped in as much wind chakra into him as he could while still maintaining balance between the two forces.

"This better work!" Sasuke yelled as he made some seals of his own before landing in a flat spot between the toad boss' eyes.

Naruto's eyes narrowed as he watched as Gamaken and Gamahiro bounce all over the target, hitting it every chance they could get and confusing it in the process. "Wait for it…" He breathed out slowly as the massive turtle thrashed around relentlessly, its single open eye filled with animalistic rage. "Let it see us and focus on us first…" He warned as the two toads in front managed to turn the turtle their way before jumping back. The blue beast looked around wildly for a moment before it saw the toad without a shiny annoying stick simply sitting in front of him. Roaring in frustration, the beast gathered up its chakra in front of hit to prepare to attack…

"NOW!" Naruto roared as all three fighters peaked their chakra. "WIND STYLE!"

"FIRE STYLE!" Sasuke yelled.

" **TOAD STYLE!"** Gamabunta's deep voice rumbled before a spiraling and condensed lightning fast stream of oil shot from his mouth at the same time Sasuke unleashed a stream of fire from his, igniting the wind oil bullet almost instantly into a bursting white hot blast of liquid death.

"COLLABORATION TECHNIQUE! **HELLFIRE TEMPEST!"** All three roared as the inferno they had created shot across the air above the lake straight towards the tailed beast just as it unleashed its own elemental attack. The raging fire was so bright and massive that all the fighters from the other end of the lake paused to see what the hell was going on. To those who could actually adjust their eyes in time, they saw the bizarre sight of the two massive streams of water and fire battle one another for supremacy before the combined might of oil, wind, and fire plowed through the water attack and nailed the Sanbi square in the face, setting it on fire and launching it a good ways across the lake in the process. The unearthly roar the beast let out as it registered the damage it was dealt was only matched by the crash it made as it landed on the shallow side of the lake on its back. Still on fire from the oil that would not wash out easily, the helpless beast continued to scream as its face and body burned. After a few more than desperate looking attempts, the Sanbi managed to right itself again and sluggishly attempt to crawl back to the depths of the lake, washing off a good amount of the oil and fire on it and occasionally burying its face in the mud on the bottom of the lake to smother and scrape off the rest… before Gamahiro and Gamaken rushed forward to either side of the wounded beast with their weapons poised to swing… and smashed the shocked beast in the head so hard that it flew back onto the shore on its back, completely knocked out. The impact of the blow was strong enough to send a large wave across the lake and cause the shinobi watching to move in order to not get thrown off guard.

At the time, Kisame had once again found himself in a rough position. He was doing well at the beginning with his sharks distracting the enemy, but then many of the ninjutsu specialists he was up against began using techniques that launched objects in the water below them up out of the water, where they were sitting ducks for the rest to hit hard enough to dispel the technique. Kisame had been caught up in a couple himself, but a few quick seals and his thick hide managed to protect him from most of the damage. When the Sanbi had been nailed in the face with the three weapons, the shark man had been left alone again and hit enough times that he was beginning to lose his temper, so he had used the distraction to once again to reposition himself near Itachi…

"The brats sure are surprising, eh Itachi? Summoning three massive toads and managing to take out the Sanbi like that… he must be better at accessing the Kyūbi's chakra than we thought…" He glanced at his partner. "So do you think we can go up against these odds the way we are now? I wouldn't mind butchering the lot of them right here and now…"

Itachi blinked casually, but knew that Kisame was seriously worried if he was actually _asking_ if they stood a decent chance. "… We could most likely kill the toads and the Kiri shinobi if we fight smart… however, it is another thing completely to bring back the Kyūbi and the Sanbi afterwards. We do not know if they have set up anything else should the Kiri shinobi's ambush fail…" He turned around. "It would be best to retreat and observe the situation. Leader will be disappointed, but the location of the Sanbi will placate some of his ire…"

"Yeah… I guess you're right…" The shark man sighed as he slowly rose out of the water and slowly morphed back into his more human looking form and shouldered Samehada again. "Let's just hope Hidan and Kakuzu have had better luck than we did…!" He suddenly began to cough heavily and spat out a fair amount of blood. "Tch… didn't expect those tags to do _that_ much damage…" He grunted as he wiped his mouth. "Think I've got some damaged organs… and definitely some internal bleeding…"

He was snapped out of his grumbling as Gamabunta landed very close by, and there was no doubt where he had his focus aimed at the moment. **"It's been a long time since I've seen shinobi from Kiri…"** The massive toad grumbled in a deep voice and a confident smirk fueled by his recent victory, ignoring the sight of his two partner summons pinning down the Sanbi in case it woke back up again. **"I've heard that these two are capable of causing a bit of trouble when they want to… do you need some help?"**

The toad boss would have continued, but the distinct sound of Sasuke throwing up on his head distracted him in more than one way.

Naruto sweatdropped. "Ah… right… doing large scale ninjutsu from the mouth while suffering from whiplash is a definite way to lose your lunch… forgot about that. Sorry, teme."

Ao frowned as he quickly tried to assess the situation. The Sanbi had appeared, yes, but it was also defeated by two children of all things. This was extremely disturbing. In addition to that, Kisame had managed to kill almost a third of his men during the fighting, though from the looks of things, the shark man had not come out unscathed either. It also didn't help that he and his men were all either completely on edge, horrendously injured, or tapped out of chakra. If he let his pride have a say, he would deny the cocky toad the right to fight, but the desire to live and keep his men alive urged the opposite. This entire operation in general had been sketchy from the moment he was assigned it, but he doubted that the Mizukage could have believed that it would have expanded from just dealing with Zabuza in some way to Kisame, the Sanbi, and over half of the missing 7 Swordsmen's weapons. Before he could say anything, though, Itachi had spoken up.

"While fighting both of you together would certainly result in a most interesting fight…" The teen droned as his and Kisame's bodies began to split up into crows. "It would not serve our purposes well to do so at this time. Farewell, shinobi of Kiri… Naruto… Sasuke…"

"Damn…" Ao swore as the crows took off before making some seals and activating his stolen eye. "I have to find them… fast?" He blinked as he attempted to determine what he was seeing. All the air in the area was laced with someone's chakra. Normal, human chakra. It was slightly disrupting how he saw things like a very faint fog, but it was certainly there. "What in the…" He stopped talking as he saw two familiar signatures in the forest nearby…

"Genjutsu!" Sasuke swore before looking around rampantly with his eyes and wiping his mouth of the bile that had remained and panting heavily. "Dobe. You got them?"

The blonde frowned as he increased his focus and his presence. The quick refill on chakra he had rushed his parents on earlier was starting to take its toll on him as he felt the minor effects of chakra poisoning throughout his body. With the three boss summons and the collaboration technique he had performed earlier, his massive reserves had taken a pretty big drain, Sage Mode or not. Then there was the fact that when Sage Mode ran out, he tended to be more drained than he would prefer to be. Sure, he had a crapton of chakra left compared to the average shinobi, but compared to his max, he wouldn't be stretching the truth if he said he was getting pretty low on energy. "Fucking hell, your brother is good…" Naruto swore, noting that Itachi's genjutsu abilities had managed to mask the man's chakra signature, making things much harder for Naruto. The blonde didn't even think that was freaking possible!

However, that still didn't prevent Samehada from eating the chakra it came across in the air.

"Got 'em!" The blonde roared as he pointed to the direction his chakra was disappearing before slamming his hands on the toad's head again. "Bunta! Blast that way!"

" **Right!"** The massive toad nodded as he made some seals again and molded some water chakra in his mouth this time seeing as Sasuke was in no shape to do anything at the moment. **"Wind style! Toad gun!"** He and Naruto roared as the large toad shot out a massive stream of spiraling water not unlike the oil shot he had made earlier before Sasuke set it aflame. Regardless of not turning into an inferno that could only be matched by something an Uchiha with the Mangekyō Sharingan could produce, the massive torrent of water still dealt an incredible amount of damage to the general area Naruto had pointed to. Trees and earth were both ripped from the ground with ease as a massive trench filled with water was made, easily 50 meters wide and well over half a kilometer long…

" **Heheh…"** Gamabunta chuckled as he looked at the damage he made. **"I can see why you like being a wind elemental so much, kid. Useful stuff it is…"**

As soon as the attack ended, Naruto clasped his hands together in the dragon seal in order to increase his sensory skills and focused. "Is there a signal… is there a signal…" He muttered to himself as he searched the general area and expanded his wind in that direction. After what seemed like hours to everyone there, the blonde sighed and dropped his hands. "Damn… they got away…"

Sasuke frowned. He had a grudge against his brother, yes, but it had changed size to the point that he didn't want something like this to happen to Itachi now. "You sure?"

Naruto frowned. "Yeah. Even if the bodies were torn up, they'd still surface eventually, and they were generating enough chakra recently that whatever was left would exude enough of it into the air post mortem that I could detect with enough focus." He shook his head. "I can't even sense Samehada absorbing any of my chakra. Odds are they managed to escape. I can't honestly picture killing those two so easily anyway…"

"Figured as much…" Sasuke sighed before remembering that his stomach was trying to exit via his throat again. "Hey, can you tell your summon to stay here for a bit? I don't think I would be able to land right if they went away right now…" His cheeks momentarily bulged.

" **Oi brat. I ignored the first time you blew chunks on my head, but if you do it again I'll smash you with my tongue…"** Gamabunta grunted irritably.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto sighed as he felt his body seize a small amount. "They'll be here for a while so we can straighten this mess out. You stay put. I gotta talk to the Kiri-nin here…" The blonde noted as one squad of the shinobi appeared in front of Gamabunta.

"That last bit was unnecessary." Ao frowned as Naruto landed in front of the group. "Your brashness let them get away…"

"And my name is Naruto Uzumaki. Nice to meet you too." The blonde responded sarcastically. "From the looks of things, I did you a favor." Naruto crossed his arms and held his ground. "One of them alone was enough to take out a third of your men. I've seen those two fight before. Itachi is a bigger threat than Kisame. If you'd chased after them blindly into the woods like you were going to, I can guarantee that your men would have been butchered. At least my way managed to ensure that they wouldn't be doing anything for a while and deal some extra damage. If you send a bunch of trackers, you should be able to find them… I doubt they would have managed to escape from that attack without covering their trail."

"Ao." The elder of the two grunted. He did not like to be talked down to by a kid, and thus didn't bother to reveal his whole name. "It would be best if you did not talk down to your superiors, boy. You don't have the experience I do when it comes to the harshness of reality and dire repercussions…"

The blonde snorted. "You'd think that, wouldn't you? Just keep your ego in check until Scab-sensei gets here with your pay. You can talk about what is whose fault later. Besides…" He nodded his head back to where Gamaken and Gamahiro were still holding down the unconscious Sanbi. "Do you really want to piss off the brat that managed to take down a bijū?"

" **Funny, you make it sound like you did all the work…"** Gamabunta grumbled.

Naruto grew a tick mark. "Oi! I'm the one who summoned your ass here in the first place! You know damn well that I was just trying to be intimidating! Thanks for ruining the moment!"

" **Heh… I'm fairly certain I've had this conversation with Jiraiya before…"** The toad boss snorted.

Ao and the shinobi behind him tensed. All of them knew that in order to call out just one boss sized summon or creatures of that size, one needed absurd amounts of chakra. To call out three was near impossible for all but the strongest shinobi. For a child to be able to do so was simply unheard of. Likewise, pissing off the summoner of a boss summon when they are both in front of you was an absurdly stupid thing to do... partially because most boss summons are rather easy to anger. And then there was the fact that the particular boss summon in front of them was the toad boss, which meant that the kid in front of them had strong ties to Jiraiya of the Sannin, who was easily one of the strongest shinobi in the world at the moment. "Tch…" Ao grunted. "Don't get cocky, brat. Just because you got lucky one time doesn't mean that you should let it go to your head…"

"By the way, where are those guys Chōjurō and Suigetsu?" Naruto asked curiously, ignoring Ao's disposition completely and looking around childishly. "I mean, it was kind of obvious that they came here with you guys, but I don't sense them at all nearby…" The blonde didn't really have any hard feelings about Suigetsu anymore. After dealing with Sasuke and knowing that Orochimaru was killed, the water boy was pretty much a clean slate in his books. Plus, he had a feeling that Madara had put the fellow teen under a genjutsu by the time of the final fight.

 _'So he really is a sensor…'_ Ao noted before speaking up. "I don't really see how that's any of your business." In truth the man had held the two boys back with a pair of extra hunter shinobi. The boys were both highly valued in Kiri, and as such it would be a bad move to endanger them by involving them in the capture of two S-ranked criminals… and apparently the Sanbi as well.

Naruto groaned. "Geez. You're worse than a Hyūga elder, you know that? I just wanted to congratulate them on getting to the finals. You don't have to be a stuck up prick about everything, you know."

Ao and the ninja behind him flinched as the boy mentioned the Hyūga, but apparently he didn't pay attention to them much. The leader frowned as he saw the boy sway slightly before backing up and leaning against his summon. "I take it you are suffering from chakra exhaustion." He commented casually, finally glad that the kid was suffering for his cockiness in some way.

"A little." Naruto laughed dryly. "All those big techniques would do that to anyone, kage-level reserves or not. Thank the log my control is a hell of a lot better than it used to be…" He shivered. "If I had summoned Gamakichi by accident instead when we landed…"

" **I would have crushed what was left of you from the impact."** Gamabunta grunted.

"That's what I thought…" The blonde sighed.

"I find it difficult to believe that a child like yourself could produce so much chakra…" Mused the only female hunter-nin behind Ao.

"And you are complaining why?" Naruto deadpanned.

"Because people don't like being shown up by kids, dobe… especially psychotic ones like you." Sasuke grunted as he landed next to Naruto.

"How's your gut holding up?" The blonde asked with a smirk.

"I'll live… but I'm definitely going to remember this fight if I ever get my hands on a summoning contract." The Uchiha frowned as he pushed back another wave of nausea.

The jinchūriki laughed. "You think that's bad? Try staying on his head for over 6 hours while he's actually TRYING to make you fall off."

"I'll try not to." Sasuke sighed shaking his head. "I might throw up again if I do…"

 _'The Three Tailed Turtle… the monster that had made Yagura-sama so powerful and almost impossible to defeat… was beaten by only two children?'_ Ao mentally fumed, as did the shinobi behind him. ' _I will have to warn Mizukage-sama about Konoha's progress when I get back…'_

The Uchiha crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Whether it was because he was still dealing with his overturned stomach or because he was thinking was anyone's guess. "Still though. It was bad enough having to deal with my brother and Kisame… but to have to deal with the Sanbi as well makes this situation even more absurd. There's going to be a lot of international stress about this situation for a while…" He grunted. "I hate dealing with politics. I have better things to do than listen to crusty old people waste my time…"

One of the hunter-nin stepped up. "You seem fairly calm for a fresh shinobi that just came out of such a large battle…"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes. "After being targeted by Orochimaru and fighting in the middle of an invasion… plus being this idiot's teammate for almost a year, I would be surprised if I wasn't quick to recover." He nodded his head to the sheepish Naruto. "Fighting a tailed beast was a new high point, but after being stuck in half a dozen conspiracies in my life, I realized I shouldn't set a high point on how absurd things can get for my health's sake."

"You know you love it. Besides, at least it isn't dealing with politics." Naruto chuckled.

" **I hear that."** Gamabunta laughed as well, blowing out smoke in the process.

"Captain Ao. The scouts have returned. We could not locate Kisame or his partner, and unfortunately, no trail that we can follow exists." Grunted a Kiri shinobi that appeared behind the man.

"Damn…" The eyepatched man muttered before turning to Naruto irritably. "See what you have done? We lost our target because of you. I will be notifying your superiors about this lapse of judgment…"

"Oh no. You're going to tell everyone back home how little old me sent two S-ranked criminals running away, possibly doing major damage to them, and played a major role in taking down the Sanbi while making it sound bad…" Naruto rolled his eyes.

"You'd better stop while you're ahead." Sasuke sighed to the older man. "Trust me on this… though if you do write that letter and tell people what happened, you'd better remember that I played a part too…"

The masked hunter shinobi sweatdropped and Ao's tick mark grew as the two boys began to list all the possible changes Ao could make in the report to make them sound more impressive before the blonde suddenly stopped talking and turned his head to the direction he'd originally flown in from. "Scab's here…"

Just as Naruto announced the man's presence, Bee, Zabuza, and Scabbard all landed nearby the shocked men. What had Naruto's attention most though was…

"Why the hell are you smoking a cigar?" The blonde tilted his head to the side confused and looking at the shortest of the three men.

"You know how lots of people smoke cigarettes after sex? This is my cigarette, and my sex is when an amazing plan that I pulled out of my ass comes together." Scabbard sighed satisfied. "While I am smoking this beauty, you are to address me as Hannibal. You shall be Howling Mad Murdock, Zabuza is 'Face', and Bee here is 'Mr. T.' and together, we are the 'A Team'…" The green haired man ignored all the completely confused stares he was getting and took in a deep breath through his cigar. "… God, I love my sex…"

 _'Why do I suddenly have the urge to drink milk and tell kids to not do drugs?'_ Bee wondered absently.

" **What was that, Bee?"** The Hachibi asked its container irritably. A little known fact was that the 8 tails beast was disgusted by the fact that humans on the whole drank primarily cow milk… and it made it a habit to literally force its container to be lactose intolerant within a year of being sealed.

The jinchūriki paled. ' _Uhh. I mean… booze! I have a sudden desire to get smashed! Yeah! That's totally what I meant to say!'_

" **That's what I thought…"** Growled the beast.

"Hey, wait a minute! I'm a B! Not a T!" The black man roared, as if just realizing that in a way he had been downgraded.

"Other than the fangirls… this is truly the most insane I have ever seen you, Scab…" Naruto blinked in sheer bewilderment.

"Silence, Murdock! Speak when spoken to!" The clearly happy man ordered the boy.

Zabuza on the other hand was rather quiet as he looked at the unconscious Sanbi a good distance away. "…It takes a hell of a lot to take down the shelled fucker… how did you guys pull it off?" He asked relatively quietly.

Naruto chuckled. "Greatness! Greatness and an obscene amount of flaming toad oil!"

" **It didn't hurt that we smashed it in the face as hard as we could at the same time while it was dazed!"** Gamahiro shouted somewhat irritated that he and Gamaken weren't getting credit.

"Sorry! Got caught up in the moment! I was going to tell them the entire story later!" Naruto shouted back.

"Zabuza… it's been a while…" Ao frowned, not liking the fact that the once Kiri shinobi was not paying attention to them at all.

"Yeah… I see the years haven't been kind to you, either. Who took out your eye?" The mummified man asked in a calm and almost depressed tone, still looking at the unconscious turtle.

"Some random Konoha shinobi shortly after you left. I managed to take his life in exchange." He sighed while subtly paying attention to the Konoha shinobi near him. Surprisingly enough, other than a look of curiosity, they didn't react much to the comment. "You know, we tried to contact you…"

"I already talked to those brats of yours about that. Whoever thought it was a bright idea to get a hold of me in a way that was used as an ambush setup on me four times in a row is a fucking moron." Zabuza grunted, causing Ao to flinch. "… What are we going to do with Shelly?"

"Shelly? You have got to be kidding me." Muttered one of the hunters nearby.

"It was what Yagura and I used to call it since we were kids. Old habits die hard… and yes, I know it's a stupid fucking name." Zabuza answered casually.

"Better than fuzz butt." Sasuke whispered to Naruto, causing both to snicker for a few seconds.

"I'm… not sure…" Ao relented. "We aren't equipped for this sort of situation…" He took a stern stance. "However, it is obvious that the Sanbi will be taken back to Kiri one way or another, as it is our property in the first place…"

"Really?" Naruto asked skeptically. "So you lost one of your villages' greatest assets, let some kid from another village beat it, and take the credit and the prize without any negotiations? Man, no wonder Kiri sucks at making allies."

"I see you're taking more after my brother these days…" Scabbard nodded approvingly as the Kiri shinobi within hearing distance growled at the rude boy. "… However, you also know that giving them the Sanbi is the most logical course of action as well."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Duh. I was just making them sweat a bit more that's all." He narrowed his eyes. "It's what they are going to do with it that I'm worried about…" If Kiri attempted to make a fresh jinchūriki now, it would only mean that they would be giving the kid holding the beast a certified death warrant. Three years was not enough to train a fresh shinobi on how to use their beast, let alone adapt to it.

"I'm well aware of your concerns." Scabbard sighed as he withdrew two scrolls and tossed them to Ao, who caught them deftly. "The blue scroll contains your payment for aiding in this operation: all of the 7 Swordsmen's blades that were in Kurotetsu's possession before I acquired them during our fight. The green scroll contains an advanced seal that should be able to hold the Sanbi for at least half a year. I always have seals like this on hand due to certain elements that my clan is involved in…" He took out another scroll, this time with red decorations on the side, and unraveled it. Pausing for a moment and looking at the Sanbi with some concentration, the man made a few one hand seals before touching the paper with one finger, making it light up with some electricity, before rolling it up again and tossing it to Ao. "Due to the risk of certain individuals finding out and past events, some of which are related to why it is in the middle of the wild in the first place…" Ao frowned immediately as he pocketed the third scroll, "… The management of the Sanbi will need to be handled more delicately than you would expect. In here are the three most logical routes I have determined for the Sanbi's future. Its contents are for the Mizukage's eyes only for highly classified reasons."

"You know an awful lot about some rather sensitive information of ours." Ao stated darkly, though not getting much of a response from the shinobi he was addressing. "I'm partially inclined to take you all in for interrogation…"

Sasuke snorted in amusement and Naruto shook his head, not believing how stupid Ao was being.

"If you don't mind torturing the Raikage's brother and several significant members of Konoha, most likely prompting a Fourth Shinobi War, be my guest." Scabbard shrugged casually. The Kiri shinobi paused at that declaration, realizing that they had just started to walk down a path with extremely thin ice… covering a bottomless pit.

"You won't win against the short freak." Zabuza grunted, still not turned around. "The moment he knew all of you guys were here back in Iron, he had you wrapped around his finger. He's annoying as fuck like that."

The eye patched man clicked his teeth in irritation. He did not like being led around unawares, especially by those from other nations. "Fine. The Sanbi and the swords will return with us…" He looked at Zabuza. "We also would prefer if you did too, Zabuza. You have a lot of things that need to be answered for… and even more that we want to know about."

The mummified man smirked. "Sorry. I'm sticking with the Leaf bastards. I'm probably going to go nuts doing so, but at least I have a better chance at avenging Yagura if I stay there…"

The masked Kiri shinobi there looked at one another in confusion, not sure how to interpret what the man said. Ao on the other hand took the statement as a final confirmation that Konoha knew more about what happened to their previous Mizukage then they did. "I see…" He frowned. There were dozens of questions he could ask Zabuza off the top of his head right now, but to do so in front of so many people, let alone those from Konoha and Kumo, would not be wise. "I'm asking you again, will you come back?"

"No, Ao. I'm not. I gave up the idea of being a Kiri shinobi again when I found out Yagura died." Zabuza grunted. "There's no point in me coming back now. I lost the chance to redeem myself in front of everyone's eyes and solve the problem I should have seen coming years before I acted. If I did show up again, it would be a bitch to get any sort of decent life for myself put together."

"I see…" Ao nodded, knowing that Zabuza spoke the truth. Even though the man inadvertently started the real rebellion against Yagura, he was still not seen in much of a positive light by the general public. During his last rush to get to Yagura, Zabuza had cut down at least 20 men in a last ditch effort before retreating. Many of the families of those he'd killed were still rather adamant about seeing his head on a pike. He looked at the Sanbi again, held down by the armed toads. Kisame and Zabuza… then the Sanbi… and these kids that can take out a bijū… Something big was definitely going on, and Konoha apparently knew full well what it was. "You wouldn't happen to at least willingly give back Kubikiri Hōchō, would you? It is still known as a treasure of Kiri after all…"

Zabuza snorted. "You have a better chance getting blondie there to give up ramen. Not going to happen. Not after all the shit I had to go through to pay off its upgrades."

"That sword belongs to Kiri, not you…" Growled one of the masked hunters before Ao stopped him with a raised arm.

"That's enough. A third of us are dead, more are wounded and exhausted, and we still are coming out of this with 4 of our village's swords and the Sanbi of all things. There is such a thing as being too greedy." He ordered in an authoritative tone. "Even if this mission failed, we are already coming back with far more than anticipated."

"But to just let Zabuza walk away back to Konoha without doing anything…" Grunted another hunter.

"Careful with your next words, little hunter…" Scabbard yawned. "Otherwise I might have to start accusing Kiri of having double standards."

The shinobi there looked at the short man smoking a cigar skeptically. Ao had a bad feeling in his stomach. "What… exactly do you mean by that?"

The immortal made eye contact with the man. "… In addition to selling and making weapons, I also deal with information, and I am just as good in the latter as I am in the former. I happen to know many things that others don't, Ao-san. I know for example, various significant facts about Konoha's history that even the current Hokage is not aware of. I know how the Hyūga's old Caged Bird Seal protected those precious eyes of theirs before it was replaced with the seal that is currently used by the entire clan, I know of various spy systems and individuals that were used by Orochimaru before he was defeated in that failed invasion of his that still exist, the common travelling routes for Iwa shinobi going to other countries… and oh so much more…" Ao's face paled as he knew exactly what Scabbard was already referring to. "I'd rather have people pay for the information I possess instead of having them force me to just… blurt it out to prove a point or look like an inexperienced ass… don't you?"

Ao managed to maintain his cool as he stared the man down. The man in front of him was cocky, overconfident, younger than him… and good. Very good. By slipping in the comment about the Hyūga in there, he had instantly pointed out that he knew about the man's stolen eye… but at the same time, he did it in a way that ensured that no one else would figure out what he was talking about. Judging from the looks of his comrades, they didn't know about it either… which meant that he was either saving it for a special occasion… or he didn't find a good use for it yet. Either way, the fact that he wasn't being attacked yet meant that not many people knew about his eye… and that the man in front of him was using it to force a stalemate of sorts to prevent him and his men from overstepping their bounds. "Yeah…" He grunted. "I feel the same way."

"The Hyūga have a new seal?" Asked one of the shinobi there curiously.

"Yeah." Naruto grinned. "It covers everything. Death, rape, transplants. You name it."

"You could say that if there was a Byakugan outside of the clan now, it would be less protected than any of the ones inside." Scab shrugged, sending another subtle jab in Ao's direction. "But to my knowledge, there aren't any eyes being researched on outside of Konoha…" He chuckled lightly, once again subtly stabbing Ao with the fact that he knew that the man was USING the eye he had and not studying it. "Thankfully, the Kumo shinobi I've talked to about this don't seem to be that bothered by it…" He looked around. "Speaking of Kumo… where's Mr. T?"

"Look at me! I'm king of the Sanbi! The almighty Bee! Wheeeee!" Said hyper black man screamed happily at the top of his lungs as he stood proudly on top of the unconscious beast's stomach, making the bull horns sign to the sky.

"Don't worry." Sasuke sighed to Ao, who just gaped at how absurd Bee was acting. "Their stupidity only rubs off onto other people with prolonged exposure. Thankfully I have immunity to it, so I haven't gone off the deep end yet…"

o. o. o.

That night:

"I see everything didn't go as planned…" Pain mused as he stood in front of his men, waiting for the report.

"Planned my ass!" Hidan roared. "We got the shit beaten out of us! Those fuckers cut up my body and threw the pieces all over the place! We're still looking for my left foot! You gave up looking for the damned thing after 10 minutes and just sewed a block of wood to my ankle!" He tapped his left leg on the ground roughly, making a hollow thunk that echoed around the room to prove his point. "I think there are fucking termites in this damn thing too!"

"We'll just find you a new one." Kakuzu grunted. "It's not like you'll die from it…" He glanced at Pain. "But Hidan is right on that middle part. We were played completely. Either we have a leak, or they had a strategist among them that can put a Nara to shame. They predicted our moves completely and knew how we fought. I'm not against saying that both were probably the case… I lost three of my hearts and I'm still recovering from that poison the bitch got into me…"

"Our end wasn't much better." Kisame sighed. "We were about to take down that jinchūriki brat and Itachi's little brother when three dozen hunters from my old home showed up for my head. That would have been fine if it weren't for the fact that the fox brat summoned the toad boss and the Sanbi randomly showed up in the middle of the lake…"

"The Sanbi?" Pain's eyes narrowed.

"We were caught off guard ourselves…" Itachi mused. "I managed to lure the Sanbi to attack the Kyūbi with a genjutsu in an attempt to weaken and capture both, but the Kyūbi's container was more capable than we thought and summoned two more boss-level toad warriors that combined managed to handle the Sanbi without sustaining much damage. Kisame suffered some injuries as well fighting the hunter shinobi… though that was to be expected, since they made it clear they were after him when they first appeared."

"Itachi determined that we wouldn't be in decent enough shape to successfully get away with the targets if we continued to fight in our condition, so we chose to get away before they decided to make things more annoying than they already were…" Kisame continued with a sarcastic smirk. "Almost got crushed by that attack from the toad boss in the process, though." He shook his head. "I thought you said that we were covered by your genjutsu?"

Itachi glanced at his partner. "I already told you, the Kyūbi's container possesses some sort of sensing technique that enables him to find me despite my illusions. You saw it yourself when he first detected us. I have heard rumors that his wind affinity has reached levels that are only matched by his master… so it is probably some sort of air based ninjutsu that managed to detect us…" He closed his eyes and apparently thought for a moment. "If it is an air based ninjutsu… then he probably had an easier time finding us due to Samehada eating chakra out of the air around him…"

Kisame's eyes widened as he remembered all the times his sword started to act up whenever the kid was nearby. "Shit… you're right… but that means that the brat knew we were in Iron before I even showed up in the preliminaries…"

"…Which means that the amount of time they had to plan for an effective counter strategy to handle all of us is much longer than initially expected, since Hidan and Kakuzu were seen by Konoha and Kumo shinobi during that time as well…" Itachi concluded. "However, back to our failed mission. Despite our retreat… I managed to hide a shadow clone behind that was fortunately not detected. Thanks to it, I found that the Sanbi is back in Kiri's possession. What they will do with it is unknown…"

"At least that endeavor yielded some positive results and data…" The leader grunted irritably before turning to Hidan and Kakuzu again. "Is there anything else you have to tell me?"

Kakuzu frowned. "… One of them, that blacksmith shinobi from Konoha let me go so long as I deliver a message to you. From the way he talked, I assume that he was the one who'd planned all the countermeasures we encountered that forced our retreat. He mentioned that you would kill me if you found out about the deal and I didn't keep my end of the bargain. Something about him didn't feel right, though… I can't put my finger on it, but he seemed far too relaxed when he appeared than he should have been, even when I was in that bad of a condition…"

"A message?" The Rinnegan user asked with a hint of curiosity. "What is it?"

The heart thief paused for a moment before answering. "He said to keep to the three years, and stay away from the 5 great nations, Kusa, and Taki during that time… or the world would know where the 7th path sleeps."

Pain's warped eyes widened considerably, as did Konan's. "Impossible…" The woman's voice whispered in disbelief.

Pain remained silent as his virtual visage very slowly darkened considerably and his killing intent flooded the room, causing many of the men in the room to stare at him surprised. "… I see…" The man stated in an enraged but controlled tone. Obviously, one of his secrets had been exploited, and he didn't appreciate that. Still… the threat was not without some oddity. Instead of simply trying to derail his plans, it was threatening him to stick to the original. They knew his secret, that much was certain. How could be found out later.

As the facts stood, it seemed as if the enemy appeared not only to know more about Akatsuki than originally anticipated, they were buying time for some event, and knew enough about the organization that they could come up with efficient enough countermeasures to push back 4 of its members, even if two of them were already wounded at the time. He would have to keep a closer eye on his subordinates. As for the rest of the shinobi nations… "While that threat was insulting, it does nothing to impair our plans. Preparations would still require that much time regardless, and all it proves is that not only does the enemy have a spy in our ranks, but that they are stalling for time. For now, recover, then return to your normal duties. Bounty hunting and taking on jobs…"

"And should those jobs interfere with the nations mentioned in the threat?" Kisame asked curiously.

Pain closed his eyes. "Reject them. Let the enemy think that they have the upper hand… for now. Iwa still uses our services for mostly spying purposes on the lesser nations, so there is no issue continuing our business with them. Also, you are to report to me about your travel plans during your spare time. After this incident, I don't want any of our teams to interact with one another until our main operation starts. I will have Sasori begin expanding his spy network to gather more information in conjunction with Zetsu's efforts."

"Deidara will be pissed." Hidan mused with a grin. "He hates focusing on information gathering."

"Kakuzu, Hidan. Once you have recovered, you two will focus on bounty hunting. Because you focused on the jinchūriki, you lost your chance of obtaining any bounties…"

"No." Kakuzu grunted. "You're wrong on that one. I know of all the drop off stations around Iron, and none of them are actually in the country because the samurai there keep things tight. Because of that, it will take time for anyone to deliver any bounties. It's only been a few days since the tournament. There will still be a fair number of hunters heading to the drop-offs to unload their game. We can ambush them before they arrive and possibly get their kills and the price on their head as well. I need to restock on hearts anyway…"

"And I need a left foot, damn it!" Hidan yelled defiantly.

"That statement certainly made my day…" Kisame chuckled.

"Itachi. Kisame. You two will be in charge of taking on missions commissioned to us once you have recovered. Because of this mess, we will have to be even more careful, so your pay will be halved and your next break is for the moment nonexistent…" Pain continued.

Kisame sighed. "Ah, well… it's not like I actually hate what I do, at least…"

Itachi remained quiet and indifferent as usual.

"Zetsu will attempt to sneak into Kirigakure to find out what is to become of the Sanbi." Pain concluded. "We will not speak of this incident again. Don't fail me."

One by one, the 4 defeated men disappeared until only Pain and Konan were left. The two remained silent for a fair amount of time before they returned to reality themselves.

"Nagato…" Konan turned to her partner concerned, once again in her real body.

"The enemy won't do anything yet, Konan." The withered man sighed. "That much is obvious. From the way the message was phrased, they don't want anyone to know about us as much as we do… it was meant for us and only us."

"But still… how do they even know that much about you?" Konan asked worriedly. "The only ones that know that you are the 7th path are me and…"

"I know…" Nagato sighed. "His appearance has always made me uneasy… and this event only solidifies my distrust in that man…" He snorted. It was the most positive expression he could make since Yahiko died. "What? Did you honestly expect me to think for a moment that you betrayed me?"

Konan looked to the side ashamed. "Given the situation, it would not be farfetched to assume so…"

Nagato sighed. "Konan, you are my only anchor to the world of humans. You are the angel of all those who hold you dear. Please do not belittle yourself like that." He took in a deep breath, showing off more of his bones. "Madara has leaked information of me to Konoha in some way... or at the very least, he has slipped something by pure chance. Either way, he is now a liability to us. What his plans are, I do not know. However, the man's error will cost him greatly in the years to come, revealing such information to an overconfident human like that." He slowly looked up, his dry red hair shifting as he did so. "We will wait and bide our time as we always have, gathering resources and bijū alike. When the time comes, we will deal with both Madara and Konoha. With his removal and our claim over the bijū… we will finally have peace…"

o. o. o.

In a country between Kumo and Iron:

"Ow…" Naruto hissed as Hinata continued to heal and analyze his body. Unlike normal injuries, chakra poisoning took longer for his body to overcome and left him sore for weeks if left alone. Luckily for him, Hinata had been increasing her studies on medical ninjutsu after the Chūnin Exams and was now somewhat versed in the ailment. Add her Byakugan and her experience with healing Naruto to the equation and she was one of the most qualified to take care of the blonde in the Elemental Nations.

"Well, that's what happens when you pull out so much chakra for extended periods of time, Naruto-kun…" Hinata sighed with her hands glowing bright green over his back and her eyes active. "Your coils are stretched out a fair amount…even for you…"

"I still can't believe you and green boy over there took out one of those… THINGS…" Karui shivered as she nodded her head to Lee, who was also taking it easy with Kin helping him eat his dinner. "My team was watching that fight from a distance… and those monsters had some serious firepower. What the hell did you guys do to get that much chakra so quickly?"

"My apologies…" Lee laughed weakly, his body still recovering from opening so many gates at once. He did notice right away that the pain and discomfort he was in was nowhere near as bad it used to be. The gift from Crypt Ōgakari certainly must have had something to do with it… "However, it is best if we did not talk about those sort of things…" The taijutsu expert had also been quite impressed with how much chakra Hinata had produced, but Hinata had quickly explained to him that before they separated, Scabbard had deposited a rather… healthy… amount of chakra into the girl's crystal necklace, which she used to store energy for emergencies. Other than using it for a quick boost for training and her fight against Naruto in the Chūnin Exams, she had not really used it that much… until that day.

"Drop it, Karui." Omoi sighed as he ate himself. "You don't want to piss them off like Atsui did, do you? They're stronger than we are. Our presence pisses more than one of them off. Get used to it."

"So we never really got to ask before, but what was it like running away from two juggernauts of pure destruction?" Kiba asked Naruto and Sasuke curiously.

Sasuke closed his eyes and shivered. "It's like seeing a half-naked and sweaty Gai running at you from behind, wanting to give you a man hug. Nothing you can do will make him stop, and he just plows through everything you throw in his way, explosions or not. It was… terrifying on the same level… though in a different way…"

The rest of the shinobi from Konoha's eyes widened considerably (except for Lee's) as they pictured what that would be like.

"It's more horrifying than I imagined…" Ino whispered. "How did you survive long enough to get to the Kiri shinobi?"

"Exploding clones." Sasuke responded. "Lots and lots of exploding clones."

"I am surprised you did not come up with something more… colorful, Naruto." Sai tilted his head curiously. "Normally you are more creative than that."

"Blow me, Sai." The blonde grunted. "I was pressed for time and running for my life. I needed something big and fast, and exploding clones filled that category."

"Chōji is fortunate that he isn't here to hear that." Neji sighed. "You know how he gets when large amounts of explosives are brought up…"

"You can say that again." Zabuza snorted. "There wasn't a damned tree that went un-blasted on our way to the lake until the last half-kilo, which is when you claim blondie launched both of you into the air like stray missiles."

"Apparently the little bomber man turned a lot of heads here. He really did strike a bunch of playas from Kiri with fear. He done good." Bee smirked holding out a fist, which Naruto pounded almost on reflex.

"Damn straight." The younger jinchūriki replied before wincing as his arm throbbed again.

"Naruto-kun, stop moving already or I will have to shut down your body." Hinata pouted. "I thought I wouldn't have to do that anymore since I finished the beginning of my medical training…"

"Sorry…" The man-boy sulked as he calmed down again.

"At least you guys got to see the action…" Tenten pouted, finally getting the ok from Scab to go outside again. "I was still stuck inside the damned carriage waiting for my mind to stop sorting through all those swords I saw…"

"And how is that different than what you normally do?" Kiba asked with a smirk, only to get whacked upside the head by Ino.

"This mission will certainly require much time to write the report…" Sai mused casually, causing Naruto and Hinata to moan… as they were the ones in charge, hence they had to write the bulk of the report… of the mission which wasn't even done yet.

"Don't worry." Scabbard yawned as he walked up to the dinner circle and sat down. "I'll take care of most of the paperwork when I return to Konoha. My group will leave tomorrow morning. You two will only have to give more detailed descriptions of your parts in the plan." The two relaxed considerably before they returned to Naruto's treatment.

"We're heading straight back home as well tomorrow, right Sempai?" Omoi asked Darui curiously.

"Yeah. We aren't under pressure anymore, so we can head back home at normal speed now… and no, Bee, we can't stay here longer so you can hang out with the Konoha shinobi." The blonde man stated in a calm tone as the Raikage's brother tried to sneak off.

"Damn it, Darui! You know bro is gonna kill me!" Bee moaned before turning to Scabbard. "Help a brotha out, man!"

"Sorry, Mr. T." Scabbard smirked, still somehow smoking the same cigar he had since the fighting earlier that day. "Gotta go back to Konoha first to deal with the boss. You're stuck dealing with Mr. T's stunt double on your own."

"I don't even want to know why you are calling us those names." Darui shook his head.

"What kind of cigar is that?" Kin tilted her head to the side. "You've been smoking that thing all day. How is it not all ashes yet?"

"It's my kind of cigar." The immortal sighed as he puffed out some more smoke. "…That should explain all your cigar related questions." Everyone there sweat dropped, knowing that only an Ōgakari could actually accept an answer like that.

"Hey, Scab." Bee whispered somewhat nervously. "How much you lettin' those smokes go for? Bro likes cigars, and I'm hopin' these will stop him from rammin' my head through the door… or a wall… or a mountain…"

"Idiot…" Zabuza sighed as he noted the brief flicker of light in Scab's eye, something that happened whenever the man saw an opportunity to make a profit just before he began to execute some heinous deal.

"What happened to those guys from Kusa and that missing-nin, anyway?" Omoi asked curiously. "They kinda just left after the fighting stopped."

"Oh, them?" Scab turned around. "Well, after I gave two of them an S-ranked pay each on Zabuza's tab, they all went back to what they were doing…" He didn't mention that he gave one or two of them additional job offerings for long term contingency plans…

"Good." Zabuza sighed. "Ryoji always did get on my…" He paused as Scab's words registered with his brain. "… Care to bring up that note about my tab again?"

Scab waved his hand casually as if waving off something inconsequential. "Well, the manner in which I paid them was fairly simple. If their services was not required during the fighting, I would pay them in 2 customized weapons and 2 sets of payments of B-rank for their efforts. If your skills were not adequate, then I'd obviously overestimated your abilities despite my faith in you, and you would cover the 2 sets of S-ranked pay for aiding in fighting a dangerous criminal that I had assumed you could handle." He shook his head in mock depression. "You really have no one to blame but yourself for this situation…"

"Hold that thought. I'm going to need you to remind me of that after I try to kill you in mindless rage." The assassin casually stated as he stood up and took out his sword.

"But of course." Scabbard sighed before turning to Bee. "We'll continue the discussion in a bit. I have a minion to flee from…"

"Die die die die Die Die DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Zabuza roared as he rushed towards Scabbard, who jumped away from the area under the excuse of not wanting to be slashed to pieces.

"Are they always like that?" Darui asked skeptically as the two men disappeared into the darkness past the tents.

"Yep." Tenten nodded.

"So I take it you guys are going to take the Prince straight back to Moon Country after this, huh?" Karui asked Naruto and Hinata curiously.

"Duh." Naruto rolled his eyes. "We've been looking after the Prince for a while, and he was going to go back soon anyways, but this event just capped it all off. The sooner he gets back home, the safer it will be for me… I mean everyone."

"Plus, we need a little beach time after all this." Ino sighed. "First thing I'm gonna do is get a tan and a full spa treatment. All this travelling in the cold is wrecking my skin…"

"I'm hitting the casinos." Kiba grinned ferally. "I'm gonna hit big or go home trying. Age limits don't touch shinobi."

"I have heard that there are interesting views on the island." Sai commented. "It will be interesting to draw them at different times."

"I for one will not stop my training." Lee said proudly. "I will attempt to swim around the entire island! And if I cannot do that...!" Wham! The boy was knocked out as Kin hit him in the head with her fist.

"He's going to take it easy for once at the beach." The girl smiled weakly. "And I'll be there to make sure he doesn't kill himself without anyone knowing."

"I'm going to just relax as well." Hinata sighed as she moved from Naruto's back to his other arm. "Or at least I'm going to try to while keeping Naruto-kun away from the casino. The last thing we want is for the locals to run us out of the island because he bankrupted the economy…"

"Hey, come on." Naruto pouted. "I'm not THAT bad…"

"Remind us again what has happened to us on this mission so far?" Neji asked skeptically.

The blonde pouted. "… That's not fair…"

"At least you guys get to go to the Land of Moon. Tenten and I are going back with Scab and Zabuza." Sasuke mused before absently looking up to the sky. "My parents apparently went there for their honeymoon. Mom said that she wanted to bring…" He stopped in mid-sentence before he realized what he was talking about before his mood darkened. "You're just lucky…" He sighed in resignation before putting down his meal and getting up. "I lost my appetite. I'm gonna do my watch a little early…"

"What's wrong with him?" Omoi asked curiously as Sasuke disappeared into the darkness and noticing that many of the Konoha shinobi's faces were tinged with pity or sadness.

"His entire clan, the Uchiha clan, was killed in a single night." Darui sighed, getting a surprised look from the younger Kumo shinobi there. "Shocked the entire shinobi world, too. Word is he's the only one in his family left living in Konoha, though to be honest, most places think that the entire clan is wiped out period."

Naruto groaned as he stood up slowly. "Man. It's so annoying to deal with him when he gets all prissy like this…." He stretched himself out. "I got him. If we leave him alone, he'll just be an emo sized pain for the next few days…" With that the blonde turned around and walked briskly after his teammate. "Oi Uke! Wait up! You're being emo again! I gotta beat the living shit out of you now in order to cure you and save you from being a pussy!"

"Fuck!" Sasuke's voice clearly shouted in shock and fear as the sounds of running was heard.

"Well, that's certainly an interesting relationship those two have." Darui sweatdropped as the sound of kunai clashing reached everyone's ears before turning to the direction that Zabuza and Scabbard disappeared to. "I thought Konoha shinobi valued their comrades above everything else. You guys seem like you all can't wait to find an excuse to stab one another though…"

"It's mostly with this group, really." Kin sighed, knowing better about what Darui was talking about than the others due to originally being an Oto shinobi. "For some reason, they've determined a way that makes them become more powerful by being insane…" She raised an eyebrow as a beam of lightning that was most certainly Sasuke's Chidori spear swung through the distance in an attempt to keep Naruto away… multiple times… before it sounded like it was hitting something just as powerful. "And unfortunately for us… it actually works for them…"

"So long as they don't break anything of the client's or do something that we have to fix, those two can maim one another for all I care." Neji rolled his eyes before focusing on his meal again. "It's not like they haven't done that before…"

"That wouldn't pass well for your village, killing off two members from two nearly dead clans…" Darui yawned… only to pause as he noticed the looks he was getting from the Konoha shinobi. "What?"

"What do you mean by two members from two nearly dead clans?" Sai asked inquisitively. "To my knowledge, only Sasuke is from a clan that meets that qualification. Naruto on the other hand is supposedly some war orphan…"

"Really?" Darui raised an eyebrow. "You mean you've never heard of the Uzumaki clan? I thought that Konoha was close to Uzu. I mean, you wear their village's spiral symbol on your jackets and it's even a part of your leaf symbol."

"I remember something like that being mentioned on a history test back in the academy…" Ino mused curiously. "But seriously? Naruto being part of a clan?"

"That's pretty hard to swallow." Kiba grunted. "He definitely hasn't grown up like a shinobi with a clan history."

"Don't bite my head off, I'm just telling you that I'm curious about the kid. Honestly, if his name wasn't Uzumaki, I wouldn't have assumed he was one. They normally have deep red hair from what I've heard." Darui raised his hands in defense. "Other than that, they were supposed to be the best seal masters around and had huge reserves of chakra naturally. Remember that idiot Kurotetsu talking about going through the ruins of Uzu and finding that scroll that let him use that Armory of Heaven technique? Well, he was talking about Uzushiogakure, where the clan used to live."

"Didn't they get wiped out during the Second War?" Karui asked curiously, vaguely remembering the name from one of her studies.

"Hm…" The storm element user scratched his head. "I think it was a few years before the Third War, really… a lot of villages didn't like how much power they had despite being such a small place, so they joined together to take Uzushiogakure out… but from what I've heard, many members of the leading clan there, the Uzumaki, actually escaped and spread themselves out all over the place. I shouldn't be surprised that one or two settled in Konoha, considering how tight those two villages were." He yawned as he pondered getting more information out of the shinobi in front of him. From the way they were acting, they had no idea how big the Uzumaki name was at one time… though considering they were kids, it wasn't that much of a surprise. History wasn't really a popular subject in general, and countries rose and fell far more frequently than he liked.

Still… there was something he had to find out… "Actually…" He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. "I was part of the cleanup group that helped overthrow the Third Raikage, and part of the paperwork I had to go over were the… well… abduction orders." He rubbed the back of his head to show how uncomfortable he was with the subject, knowing that the Hyūga there were keeping a close eye on him. "There were… _requests_ for individuals for every nation, but among the ones from Konoha… other than you…" He nodded to Hinata. "Was a kunoichi named Kushina Uzumaki." Darui noted that the eyes of the Konoha shinobi there widened considerably. "The previous boss wanted her because she apparently had extremely high quality chakra or something like that. There was an attempt on her about… 30 years ago or so, now? It failed badly, and we gave up on her after that. I heard she had long red hair and had a violent personality. Is she around still?"

"Kushina? That chick with the hair as red as her temper?" Bee whistled. "I remember her. Fought her a few times in the Third War. Now that was a woman you neva' wanted to piss off. Scary lady was _scary_."

The Konoha ninja looked at one another nervously before Hinata spoke up. "Naruto-kun's an orphan from the Kyūbi attack. He was born that day, and no one really knows who his family is. Apparently the blanket he was wrapped in had his name written on the tag, which is why they even know what he was called."

Darui and Bee kept their faces calm as they processed the information. "Damn… that blows…" Bee muttered, getting a silent nod from his partner as the latter immediately processed the information. Darui was in the inner circle of the Raikage, so he knew many things about jinchūriki, including the fact that their seals weakened when a female host gave birth. Kumo knew that Kushina was the Kyūbi's jinchūriki at the time of said attempted abduction, which was why she was targetted

So… the seal failed for some reason, despite attempts to keep it in place. The beast was set loose, attacked Konoha, Kushina died, and Namikaze died getting rid of the Kyūbi, sealing it into the kid if what that Kakuzu guy implied was true… leaving this kid alone? That couldn't be right. Why would the last known member of the Uzumaki clan in Konoha be kept oblivious of his lineage, and why would others not be made aware of who he was? He would have to look into this later…

For now though, his attention was now focused on Sasuke, who was now panting back to the group with his sword out and running from the topic of conversation, who had two very nasty looking blades of chakra extended from his forearms, turning his arms into massive wind blades that extended right to the ground if he let his arms drop completely, maybe half a foot longer. The blades were straight and glowing with a blue-green tinge. The middles of each weapon were flat and had swirling ethereal designs on them. All in all, it made the kid look scary as hell. "Come back, Sasuke-chan… I haven't checked to make sure that you aren't depressed anymore…" The blonde

"No! No, I'm fine. Just scared out of my mind now instead of depressed…" The Uchiha assured his friend as he shakily raised his sword in front of him in self-defense.

"Holy fuck." Kiba blinked as he looked at Naruto's new weapons in action.

"You can say that again." Kin gaped.

"That's some high level chakra shaping there…" Karui swallowed heavily.

"The fibers on the gauntlets apparently stabilize and aid in molding the wearer's chakra." Darui repeated what Scabbard had mentioned when he gave Naruto the weapons. "Depending on what element you are using and how you want to shape it, the results will differ… or so I've been told."

"I said I'm good already!" Sasuke growled as his sword glowed red and he swung at Naruto in frustration. The blonde smirked and simply raised one arm in defense to block the strike. As he did so, the wind blade he had up was replaced by a shorter, darker, and rougher looking curved chakra blade that only covered the side of his arm. The design on the flat sides of the weapon now bore a cracked design instead of the casual swirl one it had moments before… and it remained that way as it blocked Sasuke's streamed weapon with no issue at all. "Damn it! Not again." The Uchiha swore as he jumped back and frowned at Naruto. "I didn't know you had practiced streaming earth chakra to that extent…"

The blonde shrugged. "Hey. I had the technique and I had the element. It's not like I'm the only one that does it. Besides, you can still do both of yours at once, so stop complaining already." The earth based weapon on one arm morphed into a wind based one again, but this time it was arcing from the side of his arm and curving up like a fin of some sort. "Now stay still. I need a test subject to see how well these beauties work in live combat."

"We thought you were simply rekindling Sasuke's flames of youth?" Lee asked inquisitively.

"That too." The jinchūriki grinned sadistically as he walked forward… and landed flat on his face. In the falling process, his chakra blades seemed to flicker out of existence as if they ran out of fuel. "Ooooow…" He groaned and started to cry comically. "Hinata-chaaaan. My body is doing the dead thing again. Can you help meeeee?"

Said girl blinked before sighing and crossing her arms. "I warned you that your body still needed to recover from chakra exhaustion, Naruto-kun. It's your fault that you are in your current condition. You're just going to have to recover naturally from this." She chided him as if he was a small child.

"Hinata-chan meeeaaaannn." The man-boy-child moaned like a scolded preschooler with the according wounded puppy eyes.

"Don't know how you got picked… but damn, you have blondie there whipped." Bee nodded to Hinata approvingly.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had no qualms about walking up to Naruto and poking him in the ribs with the sheath of his sword. "You're right, dobe. Poking opponents while they're down is fun…" He smirked.

"Uke-chan meeeaaaner…" Naruto moaned before swearing as Sasuke jabbed him harder in the ribs. "Oi, watch it!"

"Shouldn't you guys… I dunno, make sure that he doesn't have anything serious?" Omoi asked curiously. "I mean, what if he dies in the night and everyone blames us, then…" Before he could continue Karui whacked him hard upside the head to shut him up.

"That's not going to happen, dumbass." Karui grunted before glaring at the Konoha shinobi. "Though he does have a point. The psycho blonde there does look like he's in a rough spot."

Hinata sighed before activating her eyes for several seconds before shutting them off again. "He has a moderate case of chakra exhaustion. Because he was fooling around just now, his coils have temporarily seized up on themselves. This isn't the first time he's been in this sort of condition. He'll be fine in a day or two since his body is used to this due to training. There's nothing to worry about." There was also some residual chakra poisoning that Hinata had not managed to treat yet lingering in Naruto's body, but the levels were so small that it would not change how long it took Naruto to recover in the slightest. Plus, she didn't feel like explaining to a Kumo-nin that her boyfriend was the container of the Kyūbi.

Bee whistled, clearly impressed. "Didn't know those eyes could be used to help out the meds. By herself, the girl alone could easily keep more than a few teams from bein' dead."

"Stop poking me already!" Naruto's voice shouted irritably from the edge of the group.

"The hell I am. When's the next time I get a chance to do this? You have enough stamina to run anyone into the ground and whenever I normally see you in this state, I'm not doing much better than you are." Sasuke retorted, continuing to jab his teammate in the ribs and back before turning around. "Hey, you guys want to try this too? It's actually very therapeutic."

"Don't you guys dare." Naruto warned in a somewhat scared tone as his friends all looked at one another curiously before looking at him again with a spark in their eyes. They may have learned something new about the blonde, but it did nothing to excuse the fact that Naruto's luck had landed them in more than a few messed up positions, he was a psychotic overconfident bastard, and the fact that Sasuke looked like he was really having fun poking the blonde. "I know where you all live… and more importantly, where your rooms are in the buildings of where you live." The blonde slowly stated, hoping to stave them off. "Don't you even hope that I won't get back at you guys if you start - ow!" Kin started poking his face. "What the fuck, Kin? My face? You had to start - Motherfucker! Ino, why are you stabbing my ass? I thought you were just going to poke me! Lee! Buddy! Help m - why are you drawing back your leg like that? I thought you were too injured to move! Someone save me!"

o. o. o.

On a road near Konoha:

"Good work guys." Shikamaru sighed as he and the rest of his team tied up the bandits that had attempted to start some trouble in their section of Konoha's roadways. "The plan worked like a charm…"

"Indeed." Shino nodded as he withdrew the remnants of his insects inside of his body. "Using Chōji and Sakura as distractions to position the enemy so you can pin them down, enabling me to drain them dry with minimum effort was a sound tactic."

"Freaking… brats…" Slurred one of the bandits, half dazed due to the insects Shino had covered him in moments before. "Shinobi… freaks…"

"How sweet." Sakura smiled as she knocked out another bandit with a swift chop to the back of the head. "He thinks his words actually matter."

"Flat… chested… bitch…" The man grunted, drooling from the corner of his mouth… before Sakura in turn punched him hard enough to make him stick to a nearby tree, clearly knocking him out.

Chōji winced. "Ouch. Shouldn't have done that."

"Troublesome." Shikamaru groaned. "You do realize that we have to carry him back to the relay point now instead of walking him, right?"

"Are you by chance taking that dirty man's side then, Shikamaru?" Sakura asked with a pleasant smile on her face, the prime example of innocence.

"I'm taking the side that makes things the least pain in our asses, Sakura, same as always." The genius deadpanned. "Go heal him enough that he can walk along with the rest of them to the rendezvous. After that…"

The man was interrupted as a familiar psychopath shot out of the ground and landed on his front with a heavy thud, causing everyone to freeze in their spot in shock, fear, and of course, confusion. The latter of the three intensified as the insane immortal made a series of frustrated whimpering noises and looked around quickly. "Where? Where? Can't find one! Pain bad… but Scab's experiments worse!" Only after his monologue did he notice who was nearby. "Pink girl! Deer boy! You two has the large head fats that make people know the lots of stuff! Where's the nearest volcano! I must throw myself into it to not get hurt by the shiny pointy things!"

"What?" Chōji blinked, clearly still trying to understand what the hell was going on at the moment.

"How…" Shino drew a blank, his mental processes remarkably similar to Chōji's.

"Volcano?" Sakura tilted her head to the side, slightly more immune to Ōgakari insanity than her teammates. "The nearest one would be…" She crossed her arms and thought hard. "I think that Mt. Hibari, but that's 100 kilometers south of Konoha. We're almost 50 to the north east and…"

"Salvation! The floor has yet to claim me this day!" Crypt roared to the heavens. "The pink one shall receive aid should the floor attempt to steal her mothball armory and soda can jukebox hallucinations! For now I must hurry! The shiny objects of pain are approaching!"

As the man was ranting, a bandit that the chūnin there had apparently missed was slowly sneaking up on the insane man. The chūnin saw him approach, but they knew better than to assume that the insane man was in any real danger. Just as he was about to try and stab Crypt… the man fell backwards, right on top his would be assailant with surprising force. He then slowly raised himself off the ground, as if his feet were a hinge that connected his body to the ground… and slammed into the man again. The process repeated itself multiple times with increasing speed until the bandit was clearly unconscious and foaming at the mouth in a small indent in the ground, and Sakura would have bet that he had a few broken ribs as well.

"Well… that's one way to deal with the situation." Shino cocked his head to the side, clearly trying to come to terms with the bizarre method Crypt had used to beat the man.

"I think we'd better heal that one, too…" Chōji laughed sheepishly.

"Wait." Shikamaru spoke up just before the Ōgakari dove into the ground again. "How's Naruto's group doing? We've been here for a while, so we haven't had any word about their mission."

Crypt blinked for a moment and put on a thoughtful expression. "Brother's blonde mini him? Last time I heard, he was in the Land of Iron's capital while 4 of those red cloud guys, a bunch of Kiri hunters, the number 8 and some others from Kumo, Scab, Zabuza, duckbutt and mini girl archer." He paused for a moment before pouting. "Some people have all the fun… lucky bastards." He looked around. "Bah! I have no time for this! I must appease the rice cake volcano café nurses! Onwards to the giant spatula and the mini moose, for they know the true secret within the cereal boxes!"

With that, the immortal dove into the ground as if it was water and quickly disappeared… leaving the 4 chūnin simply standing there. Shino and Chōji were simply confused… but Shikamaru and Sakura were gaping and trying to contemplate how truly fucked up the situation Crypt had just described really was.

"Did… did Crypt actually make sense and speak almost normally for a moment?" Chōji blinked in disbelief.

"S-Shino?" Shikamaru stumbled on his words, not trusting his mouth at the moment.

"Yes, Shikamaru?" The Aburame curiously turned to the team leader.

"Sakura and I changed our minds… there is no way in hell you're going on a mission with Naruto within the next few years. We've… underestimated how bad the missions he's on can get…"

"Four… four of them…" Sakura twitched all over.

"Can you guys please calm down?" Chōji nervously backed away from his best friend and the team medic. "You two are starting to freak me out…"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

Bee smirked as he stood in the front gates of his home village with his arms on his hips. "I'm back, bitches!"

WHAM!

A massive flash of lightning crashed into the large man and plowed him back outside of the village at high speed.

"BEEEEEEEEEE!" A familiar pissed voice roared. "IT'S TIME FOR YOUR IRON CLAWWWWW!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" The jinchūriki voice screamed in protest and pain.

Darui whistled, clearly impressed. "He didn't even wait for Bee to get to the tower yet or give him a head start. Raikage-sama must be really pissed this time…"

o. o. o.

Kirigakure:

"I see that you have returned without Zabuza or Kubikiri Hōchō." Mei sighed as she sat before the shinobi that were reporting to her. "And a third of you are not here. Presumably dead." She shook her head. "I assume that this means I will have to contact Konoha and request for more diplomatic approach to solve this issue…"

The shinobi in the room looked at one another with their eyes before Ao coughed and spoke up. "We will need to contact Konoha, Mizukage-sama… but not for reasons you may suspect." He took out the three colored scrolls and held them in his hand. "There were many… events and complications that we could not predict upon arriving there. The first thing you should know is that Zabuza nor any other Konoha shinobi attacked our forces. The one who took out our men was… Kisame."

Mei's eyes widened in disbelief before narrowing dangerously. "You best start from the beginning, Ao. That's an order."

Ao nodded slowly before he slowly explained his groups planned arrival into Iron, their observation of the other group from Konoha arriving into the city. Their attempts at interrogating members of that group, only to receive a mysterious message from a third party who already predicted their movements. Suigetsu's and Chōjurō's meeting of the Konoha shinobi in the preliminaries and their encounter with Kisame. Kurotetsu's surprised revealing of their village's weapons. Both junior and senior tournaments, Zabuza's fight with Kisame and Scabbard's fight with Kurotetsu in particular, Ao's attempt to reclaim the village's swords, the deal to attempt to trap Kisame in exchange for the swords, Kisame's and Itachi's appearance… the Sanbi, the two boys who against all conceivable logic who actually managed to beat the Sanbi… Kisame's escape, and the follow up meeting.

Mei's expression did not change throughout the entire explanation, even when Ao mentioned the Sanbi. Her face was a mask as her mind ran through all the possible implications this event could have and how much trouble could have resulted had it been managed in a different way. After what seemed like an eternity for everyone in the room, the woman made eye contact with Ao again. "I assume those scrolls in your hand are the ones you mentioned earlier?"

Ao nodded and gave the woman the blue scroll first. "Yes, Mizukage-sama. This scroll here is the one that contains Nuibari, Kabutowari, Kiba, and Shibuki. We have examined the contents and they are indeed contained in the scroll."

"I see." The woman mused as she opened the parchment, laid it on her table, and briefly examined the contents of the seal inside, confirming Ao's statement with her eyes before sealing the weapons again. She then tossed the scroll to a hunter with a sword on his back, showing that he was part of the weapon specialist division. "Go to the armory and give this to them. Have them immediately look for shinobi who are most appropriate to wield them. I expect a list for each weapon by tomorrow morning. All information about this mission is to be kept as an S-class secret. Tell no one without my permission."

"Yes, Mizukage-sama!" The hunter bowed as he took the scroll and disappeared in a cloud of mist.

"I take it those scrolls you still have in your hand contain the Sanbi and the message from that peculiar man." She stated more than asked.

Ao nodded. "Yes. The red one holds the message, which none of us have looked at yet, and the green one holds the beast. I have checked to see if the message is a trap of some sort, but there is no chakra in the contents, so it is safe to assume that it is just a message."

"I see." Mei closed her eyes in deep thought, not paying attention as the man put the scrolls on her desk. "What about Zabuza? Did you come into contact with him at all during the mission, or did he keep his distance?"

Ao shook his head. "No. During the tournament he talked to Chōjurō and Suigetsu a fair number of times…" He looked at the two boys who at the moment were looking a bit bored from standing still for so long. "Oi! Brats! Show respect for Mizukage-sama and tell her about Zabuza!"

The two boys straightened as if electrified before sheepishly cowering before the glares of everyone in the room. "Ah! Sorry… it's just this meeting has gone a lot longer than most…" Suigetsu laughed nervously, only to get whacked upside the head by Ao.

"Now, now, Ao. Suigetsu's right." Mei sighed. "They aren't accustomed to debriefings on this scale." She smiled gently at the two chūnin ranked boys. "Now if you two could please tell me about Zabuza?"

Chōjurō blushed and looked to the side. "Ah! Well… he's as strong as everyone says… actually, he's most likely stronger now… but he doesn't seem like a bad person. Every time he talked to us it was casual… though he didn't hold back the fact that he could kill us any time he wanted to. He didn't seem to hold much hard feelings against us for hunting him, though he did say some things about whoever assumed he would listen to hunters offering him a chance to come back home…"

"He said they were fucking morons because the tactic was used to ambush him like half a dozen times." Suigetsu rolled his eyes, not noticing the heated glare that Mei gave the very scared Ao. "He also seemed to be surprised that you had two bloodlines, Mizukage-sama… and somewhat scared when he found out you were the new Mizukage…"

"He also helped us out that one time." Chōjurō mused. "It was right after I had lost my fight against that girl Tenten. Zabuza came in to check up on us. We were talking for a bit when he stopped that guy Kurotetsu from stealing Hiramekarei." He put on a thoughtful look. "I have the feeling that he still holds some feelings for here, but to me it seems like there are a lot of things holding him back…"

"I agree." Ao nodded. "Zabuza said something when I offered him a spot back in Kiri as well. Something about having a better chance of avenging Yagura if he stays in Konoha…"

"Oh? Is that so?" Mei mused. "That is certainly something to be curious about…" She looked around for a moment before closing her eyes. "Everyone but Ao is dismissed. As I have mentioned before, the contents of this mission and everything related to it are to be labeled as an S-class secret. No exceptions."

"Yes. Mizukage-sama." The shinobi responded before they all shunshined out of the room, leaving Ao and Mei alone.

"What haven't you told me yet?" Mei asked with narrowed eyes in a tone that denied any excuses or half assed answer.

"The message that initially tied us to the Konoha shinobi in the first place had a very concerning meaning that any high ranking shinobi of Kiri would know." Ao frowned. "It said: The shark is the pet of the one who played with the turtle's mind." He closed his eye. "It doesn't take much to understand the meaning of it…"

"I see…" The woman nodded. "So when you found out about Kisame's presence in Iron, you were stuck between your original mission objective, and one that had an even higher potential of yielding benefits for the village. The fight between Zabuza and Kisame merely determined which one you would go after."

Ao nodded. "That is correct… however, the revelation of the missing remnants of our village's famous weapons in the hands of that rogue threw another element into the mission. I attempted to retrieve them from the man who is now being called the Hill of Blades, Scabbard Ōgakari, but instead of simply giving them to me, he held them as a sort of payment so long as our forces followed a fairly simple ambush route for Kisame, who the Konoha shinobi would lead into it…" He frowned. "The man seemed to know far more than he was letting on, and I have my suspicions that he was the one who sent the initial letter. Chōjurō and Suigetsu claim that he is the one who altered Kubikiri Hōchō to its current state. Regardless, after Kisame's escape and talking to the man again… he revealed to me rather subtly that he is well aware that I possess a Byakugan."

The room was silent for a fair amount of time. "I assume that Konoha knows of this, then?" Mei asked in an emotionless tone. If it was the case, then she would have to take great care when dealing with the Leaf village and deciding where Ao would be sent in the future.

Ao shook his head. "No. If anything, I believe he is merely holding it above our heads to ensure that we do not take any unnecessary action. The only reason why he brought it up was because some of the men were rather reluctant to let Zabuza simply walk away with his sword. If that's the case, then we do not have to worry about Konoha finding out about it… from him, at least."

"There is a leak in our special unit." Mei frowned, already planning on the measures she would have to take. "Regardless… let us list what we know. Zabuza will not leave Konoha, because he claims he has a better chance of avenging Yagura. The shinobi he's with knows that Yagura was being manipulated, and Zabuza to a degree knew that as well during the time of his revolt. Zabuza's grudge against Kisame has increased significantly since we last saw him. That shinobi, Ōgakari… seems to possess a very in-depth information network." She sighed. "Well, then. It seems as if Konoha… or at least a portion of it, shares the same hidden enemy as we do, and despite the fact that we have been after them for a while, they appear to know more about them than we do…" She paused for a moment before frowning. "And they seemed to know it as well…" She put on a thoughtful expression.

"Is something the matter, Mizukage-sama?" Ao asked curiously.

"Ao…" Mei spoke after a few minutes. "Think for a moment. Imagine the same scenario as the current mission… but take away the extra distractions. The Sanbi. Kurotetsu. Kisame. The second Konoha team… what are we left with?"

The hunter crossed his arms and thought hard. "Then… it would simply left with us, the Kumo shinobi, and the Konoha shinobi that entered in the tournament… why?"

"Why did I send you to the tournament in the first place?" She continued.

"Because there were rumors that Zabuza would be there…" Ao continued before his eye widened. "You don't mean…"

"Yes." Mei nodded. "You were played before you even stepped foot out of Kiri. This whole thing was originally designed to contact us and establish a link. They were looking for allies for their cause, and so they made sure that we met them under circumstances that would seem like pure coincidence. I must admit that this tactic was rather ingenious of them, since if they were to contact us through normal channels, we would most likely be more skeptical of their information or simply flat out ignore them. Now, we have very little option but to acknowledge their existence and abide by their request."

"The Sanbi. Kisame. Kurotetsu… those were just additional factors that made things more complicated than expected. From your mission report, I can only assume that this group excels at adapting to situations phenomenally well. I would not hazard to guess that they somehow rigged the tournament listings so that Zabuza fought Kisame right off the bat in order to influence your decision on who to apprehend… the missing swords were just icing on the cake for them, as it meant that they could still retain information on Yagura's manipulator from us in exchange for something else." She closed her eyes calmly and went over the theory in her mind once more for any other potential pieces of information. "If this is the case, then it means that there is a good chance that Kumo is in on their scheme as well. Remember, they were going to be there because of the Konoha shinobi in the first place."

"So… what do we do from here?" Ao frowned, trying to figure out what the next logical step would be. It was times like this that he was reminded why Mei was in charge. It wasn't because of her dual bloodlines and her powerful ninjutsu… it was because she was an extremely shrewd woman that was incredibly intelligent and able to connect dots that others would miss.

Mei smirked as she took the red scroll. "Isn't it obvious? First, we will see what they advise to do with the Sanbi to learn more about this interesting group." She opened it up and scanned it with her visible green eye. A few moments later, she smirked. "Cunning little man. He seemed to have predicted that we would figure out what we just did. It's almost as if he's trying to get into my head. How daring of him, to compliment and insult me at the same time. Zabuza must have told him about me…" Ao sweatdropped. It wasn't that well known, but a few suspected that the woman still retained feelings for the missing-nin even after he'd dumped her. Whether or not she would melt him on sight was a completely different story.

"… Moving on…" She mused as her eyes continued to scan the paper. "Oh? Well, that is certainly news… three years…" She muttered under her breath. "If that's the case and what they say is true, then we can't simply just… yes, the first plan is indeed understandable… as is the second, despite the fact that it would… and the third…" She froze before her eyes narrowed considerably. "What… the hell?"

Ao swallowed heavily. It took a lot to cause Mei to break composure like that. "Mizukage-sama? What's wrong?"

"Ao. Shut up." Mei growled as she scanned the scroll constantly, analyzing and scrutinizing every single word she came upon as hard as she could. The silence carried on for what seemed like hours before the woman sighed in defeat and rolled up the message. "Of all the things…" She sighed to herself before taking out a pen and a scroll and writing down a short message on it before rolling it up again and calling in an ANBU and handing the shinobi the scroll. "Get this to the coop and tell the ones in charge to put it on a bird to Konoha. Nothing flashy or imminent, but make the casing so that the ones who find the scroll will know that the message is high secrecy."

"M-Mizukage-sama?" Ao blinked in confusion as the masked ninja bowed and silently exited the room. "What are you sending to Konoha? What was on the scroll?"

Mei sighed and rubbed her temple. "… I'm making a risky choice, Ao. I'm gambling the future of Kirigakure… but given what we have just gained today, I believe I am making the right one…" She took in several deep breaths and regained her composure. "Enough about the scroll. There is much to discuss. Tell me about the boys that defeated the Sanbi. Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha…"

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"So the bottom line is that this guy makes the best weapons you have ever seen, and that the ones you are using now, he not only made, but they've drastically enhanced your fighting abilities." A summarized as he looked at Darui's and Bee's weapons with a skeptical eye. "Not only that, but apparently the man is practically the god of blacksmiths, and is capable of making any sword he wants in a flash if needed, so much so that he can drag everyone to his mindscape, which contains all the swords he can possibly conceive and make." He shook his head. "Honestly, I think you guys are full of it, but if you're that certain that these weapons are just that good, I'll have to agree to this deal. Just don't expect me to make any of those custom orders. I've seen the price tags on those, and all I can say is that for that price, that weapon might as well have the ability to have Tsunade come down and give me head every time I swing the damn thing in addition to killing hundreds of shinobi at once."

"I heard that! The price is just damn steep! It was makin' the Demon of the Mist constantly weep!" Bee rapped, his head half way encased in bandages from his brother's wrath.

"The sad thing is that it's true." Darui sweatdropped. "From what we heard, Zabuza had been Scabbard's bitch for the past year trying to pay off the debt he got from upgrading that thing…"

"So apparently you encountered this Akatsuki group that the man had warned me about." A grunted while moving on, the cigar that Bee had bought for him in between his teeth. "And supposedly they were stronger than you originally expected, needing the help of Zabuza and a bunch of other foreign shinobi to pin them down… though it wouldn't have had to come to that if Bee could have used the Hachibi's chakra… but apparently keeping that information from them was for the best at the moment."

"Yeah." Darui nodded. "I figured out that the group is after jinchūriki after that tentacle weirdo mentioned that his partners were after that blonde kid. His name is Naruto Uzumaki."

A's face stiffened considerably. "Uzumaki? You mean…?"

"Yeah." Darui nodded. "He's most likely the previous container's kid. Kushina Uzumaki. Her seal gave out when she gave birth to him, leading to the Kyūbi's attack. The timing is so perfect that it can't be mere coincidence… but the weird thing is that no one seemed to know that she existed. As far as his friends know, the kid was just another orphan… albeit one with huge reserves and a messed up personality."

"Humph… so the Kyūbi escaped when the woman gave birth…" A muttered and closed his eyes, remembering his encounters with the man in the Third War. "Something doesn't sound right, though. The man's sealing abilities were the best. Hell, he used them to seal away the Kyūbi again… so how did the Kyūbi escape in the first place? There's no way he would be absent for this sort of event…" He looked up at Darui. "Tell me about the Uzumaki brat. Red hair and fiery temper?"

"Blonde spiky hair and whisker marks. Sorry." Darui smirked. "He's actually a unique kid. Acts completely insane one moment, and the next he's carrying himself like a jōnin. The kids from Konoha his age all respect him and listen to him when he's the latter, but when he's being an idiot, they have no issue pointing out his flaws and mocking him." He scratched the back of his head. "Though, if we can believe what he's told us, then he's pretty damn strong too despite his age…"

"Hell yea little nine packs a punch! The short man whipped out three huge toads and took the Sanbi out to lunch!" Bee rapped.

The Raikage snorted. "Humph. That means nothing. If he summoned three large beasts in order to take down the bijū, that only means that he could not do it under his own power and relied on his summons in order to do so. It proves that he is only capable of drawing out the Kyūbi's chakra in large quantities at will. He can't control it… that… well… yet…" His eyes widened before scrunching his face in rage and slamming his fist into his table. "That's why the man wanted access to the turtle island and for Bee to come along. He wants you to train him to control the Kyūbi…"

"Really? Cool. I got no problem with that. Little 9 and I get along just fine." Bee shrugged casually.

"You idiot!" A roared. "Don't you realize what this means? If we agree with the deal, then we are in effect willingly increasing the power of rival countries significantly and putting ourselves at risk! The bastard wanted to bring more than one person and requested multiple trips, so that means he is probably going to somehow bring jinchūriki from multiple countries! We cannot allow this!"

"But Bee and I already got our new weapons." Darui pointed out. "And the man certainly proved that his wares are certainly the farthest from dull they can get. It would look bad if we backed out so late in the process… besides…" He yawned before steeling his eyes. "You have to remember about those Akatsuki guys…"

A snorted. "What's there to worry about? You two handled them pretty well…"

"Only because we maneuvered them without them even knowing it and because we knew what they could do, brotha." Bee interrupted. "Those two fools may have been taken down… but chumps they ain't. Word from Scab was that them two were the weaker ones too, and a good number of 'em could do some serious damage before they could be taken out…" A raised an eyebrow. Bee didn't stop rapping unless he was dead serious about something. "Ya know somethin'? If the two we fought took on Yugito in a straight up fight while she was backed up by some shit average team… she'd lose…hard."

A frowned. For his brother to say something like that so bluntly meant that he truly believed it, and that somewhat bothered him. "So what? Are you saying we just allow Konoha and half the other nations around to get stronger and all we get in exchange is the ability to buy slightly better than average weapons at a reduced price? What if they team up and use what they know against us?"

"Then we kick their asses." Bee shrugged. "Besides, little 9 and I are chill. He ain't the type to go and screw buds over. More like he's the type to get killed protecting them even if they were an ass. Sides, it sounds like they want to keep casualties to a minimum, not call for all-out war."

"How about we only allow 2 jinchūriki at a time and we observe them all closely while they are training?" Darui suggested. "That way, even if they for some reason turn on us, we know how their abilities work and we can counter them. It's a decent proposal at least. Besides, from what I've gathered, I believe that this alliance against the Akatsuki is less of a village alliance and more of a secret one between many notable figures in multiple villages. Otherwise, the question of a possible alliance with Konoha would have been raised or hinted at by this point instead of a simple business deal with a weapon maker. Plus, the political complications of having a massive alliance between Konoha, Suna, and Kumo might cause Iwa and Kiri to get nervous and start something. Think of it this way: If we go with this plan, we can see how strong the secret weapons of our potential enemies really are…"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, huh?" A grunted. "I would prefer to keep all of them out… but if it means losing out on information that can better prepare us for whatever the hell this Akatsuki group is planning, we might as well play along… for now. But mark my words, the second any of them does something that makes me suspect they might be spying on us, I will either beat them unconscious and hold them hostage or lariat them!"

"We'll be sure to remind them when they get here." Darui waved his hand casually. "So I guess this means you're gonna green light the deal, then?"

A huffed irritably, causing smoke from his cigar to come out of his nose. "Might as well. Better to be in the loop with this sort of thing than left in the dark. Probably going to pretend we don't know that he's going to train other jinchūriki at the island too. Play dumb to lower their guard and hope they let something else slip that we can use." He leaned back in his chair, his massive body causing it to creak loudly. "As for who's gonna do surveillance, I'm thinking of having you two and Motoi keep an eye on them to keep things simple. I would suggest adding C, but…"

"Yeah, he's a bit dull when it comes to subtly keeping an eye on people not from Kumo." Darui sighed, remembering how many times he'd been forced to apologize for his friend's blunt behavior.

"Not to be crass… but C is a bit of a dick… I mean ass." Bee grunted. "Always goin' on about proper behavior and rules, it's no wonder why foreign shinobi around him loose their cool…" He rapped, noting his displeasure about how much the blonde man lectured and complained to him about his rapping abilities and how to behave and how everything he did other than fighting was somehow disrespectful or flawed.

"Bee, not to be rude, but pretty much everyone does that." Darui deadpanned. The Raikage nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, but at least everyone else ain't whiny little bitches about it." Bee huffed and crossed his arms.

A sighed and shook his head. "Since we seem to have come to a decision on what to do, I think that it's best if we just call it a day now. I haven't been able to get much work done since Bee left…"

"Aww. I love you too, bro…" Bee swooned.

"… Get out before I make it so that your entire head is wrapped up in gauze." A growled, cracking his left hand by twitching his fingers in a claw like gesture.

Bee was out of the room before A finished with the first set of cracks.

"Sorry for all the trouble, Raikage-sama." Darui laughed lightly as he casually walked to the now open door. "I'll come by later to check on how you're doing and see if you need help."

"Yeah, yeah." The middle aged man grunted as his subordinate closed the door behind him. Leaning back in his chair, A let out a puff of smoke as he let his mind ponder the various things he had just learned. "Good cigar…" He mused as he closed his eyes. "… Blonde spiky hair, huh? Were you really that desperate to beat that thing… or was there something else going through that head of yours before you died, Namikaze? …To use your newborn son…"

o. o. o.

Two weeks later, somewhere on the southern borders of the Land of Fire:

Naruto sneezed. "Ow! God damn it!"

"Shut up!" Ino yelled. "Just heal faster already and be done with it so you can get back to work!"

"I hate all of you so much right now…" The blonde grunted as he laid on top of a carriage. "At least that sneeze went away. Sucker wouldn't leave me alone for weeks…"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata landed near the blonde. "I know we wanted to go straight back to Moon country, but the Prince and his son just saw an advertisement for a circus in the local town and they are eager to go. We've been pushing everyone hard lately, and it would be nice to have a small break…"

The jinchūriki raised an eyebrow for a moment before donning a smile that almost seemed as if he was holding back a laugh. "Yeah. I think we can spare a bit of time for that…"

o. o. o.

Omake: Why Waltz smells like bacon when he's set on fire:

"I hate you, Scab." Ghost groaned as he got up from the medical table and stretched his limbs. "I hate you so much…"

"At least the experiments are done now." The lightning element droned, putting away his equipment. "Thanks to you being my reusable test subject, I was able to finally figure out how to combine animal forms with people…"

"And in the process give me 12 heart attacks, 7 of which had the heart literally explode, 9 cases of my ribs shattering in ways that my skull was pierced, 4 cases where I somehow got an STD that only animals can get, 5 cases of me switching genders, 2 cases of me turning into a cat girl by pure chance and having you blast me into the sun by pure unconscious reflex, and dozens of other situations that almost made me wish I was suffering from a relapse. I don't fucking care if I owe you a ton of cash, Scab, you OWE me something for this one."

"Hmm… very well." Scab sighed as he looked at his notes. "I'll let you decide on any extra… details I add to Waltz and or Crypt…"

"Waltz only." Ghost grunted. "Knowing Crypt, he'd just make it blow up in our face somehow…" The air around him shimmered and his usual attire phased onto his person as if he was always wearing those clothes. "It has to be something small and random that he would never suspect us of being responsible for…"

From that day onward, whenever Waltz was set on fire that was not his own… he would smell like bacon.

o. o. o.

A/N:

So here come's and go's another massive chapter. Onto the news!

I fixed the forum problem that I had trouble with before. Didn't really know how making one worked, so I kinda guessed at first. Everyone can post and stuff now. Also I added an Omake thread. Post any kind of short chaotic shenanigan story you think the Ōgakari have done in their free time and if it is good it will be posed at the end of the next chapter! Yay reader participation!

Oh yeah. Also for the art guys. Love what people have done for the Ōgakari over the years, but now I'm hoping someone can do the new Naruto's look if possible. If you need a reminder here it is: black short sleeved sweater with a hood and a dyed orange spiral on the front. Black (or white, I'm fine either way) long sleeved shirt underneath. Tan cargo pants and standard ninja sandals. Headband around his neck area of the sweater. Slit eyes. And the new talons are black fuzzy gauntlets. I would love to see what people can do with that.

So yeah. Still looking for a job. Still freaking out. Loved watching E3. Bugged about the new setup has, and I've begun to start tweaking some of the earlier chapters to make them smoother and not suck.

That's all I can think of for now guys! Remember! Review! Worship the log! Admit that I am the king of creating messed up situations! And Review again! Lets break the 3000k mark with gusto!


	67. Rule 34. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It has absolutely nothing to do with the story. I just felt like telling people about it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 67: Rule 34. If you don't know what it is, look it up. It has absolutely nothing to do with the story. I just felt like telling people about it.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

At the circus:

"This is nice…" Naruto mused as he leaned back in his chair along with his team as they watched the circus performers fly through the air on the trapeze while a contortionist awed the crowd with the way her body twisted. "… Normally it's one of us that are doing something potentially fatal or disturbing in order to amuse others…" He winced as Kiba elbowed him in the ribs. "Ah! Damn it, Kiba! I'm still sore here!" He hissed to the Inuzuka.

"Oops. Forgot." The Inuzuka smirked, his tone failing to hide how not true the statement was.

According to Hinata, Naruto's recovery from his run in with Akatsuki was impaired due to the fact that the blonde had used up so much of his chakra at once, refilled it with tainted reserves from the Kyūbi, then blasted it all out again so quickly that his coils were stretched to extreme levels. A similar example would be if Lee opened the first gate and fought as hard as he could, rested for only a third of the time he needed while taking low quality soldier pills so that he felt like he was normal, and then opened the gate again.

Naruto's healing ability ensured that he would recover in a relatively short amount of time, but with the combination of chakra poisoning, strained coils, and exhaustion, it would probably take another few days before he could move normally or perform jutsu without feeling pain, and a week before the blonde would make a full recovery. In fact, Lee had already gotten back into top shape a few days ago. The only good thing that they found out was that Naruto's Seventh Sense had been active for so long that his body 'produced' it pretty much naturally now, so he could still feel things around him with little to no issue.

Of course, this meant that he would be unable to do much in terms of guarding the Prince other than sense if any threats were coming nearby as he laid on top of his carriage and give out orders, but hey, at least he got a break of sorts…

Regardless, the temperature and weather had changed dramatically since Iron. With near summer-like weather and dry climates, the shinobi there dressed in lighter clothing. Naruto was wearing a dark orange and black marker t-shirt instead of his sweater long sleeved shirt combo, exposing his talons for everyone to see. Hinata had gone with a top similar to what Tenten wore, only baggier in order to hide her figure more. Sai's outfit looked exactly the same as it did before, only thinner and short sleeved, as did Ino's, Kin's, Lee's, and Neji's. Kiba on the other hand just ditched his sweater to reveal a standard black t-shirt and mesh underneath.

Naruto learned a fair amount from his clients… other than the fact that the Prince and his son were spoiled idiots. They seriously didn't have a clue how normal people handled themselves in day to day life and what they needed as opposed to what was really important to make their lives work… but the Prince and his son were nice, and the elder was, despite his lax and generally unimpressive appearance, remarkably knowledgeable about politics and how to manage, oh say, a large village/city that is physically isolated from a good part of the world and requires imports to be managed rather delicately due to the manner in which the city is isolated. Just replace the prostitutes, valuable works of art, and alcohol with clients, scrolls and deadly toxins, and the Prince might as well have been talking about Konoha. Naruto made a mental note to have Tsunade and Michiru talk and exchange methods and ideas on how they get materials in the near future…

Hikaru though… if the kid wasn't one thing, it was another. He had attempted to hire every one of Naruto's group as a personal guard during the trip when he wasn't insulting them under his breath or just flat out ignoring them… and other than Kiba and Ino nearly caving in as the boy piled on the potential perks of the job, the answer was a unanimous no. After that, the kid seemed to give all the ninja there the cold shoulder and mutter insults at them behind their backs.

Still, other than a few bandits attempting to hit the caravan, the travel down south had been, dare they say it… pleasant. No high level shinobi. No extreme situations. Just the group doing the mission assigned to them… and Hinata only healing Naruto if he turned into his half fox form as payment… but that last bit was completely irrelevant.

… Technically, he had a 'full mini-fox' form as well… but he was saving that for a time where he really screwed the pooch in front of Hinata for whatever reason, or if he needed her to do something for him that she would normally not do.

"Heaven help me if either one of those situations come to pass…" The blonde shivered as the ideas of what Hinata would do to him in that state pervaded his mind.

"Shut up already." Ino hissed. "Some good stuff is coming up!"

"And now for the main event!" The circus master announced in the middle of the tent as the lights in the room dimmed to all but a few spotlights. "The circus's pride and joy! Cham!"

The audience's attention was on the now moving spotlights as they spun around the inside of the tent until they stopped on the top left corner of the prop castle in the back, showing a massive saber tooth tiger in a red vest standing defiantly on its platform.

Kiba whistled impressed. "Whoa. A Siberian? You don't see one of those every day. Sis would flip if she saw this."

Naruto didn't say anything, but a small smirk reached his lips as he saw Hikaru's eyes widen in childish awe as he watched the large cat jump down to the middle of the room.

"And now introducing Cham's partner…" The ringmaster announced as the shadow of a figure flipped through the air before dropping onto the ground to reveal a small monkey in a green vest and a small cap. "Kiki!" The small animal without hesitation playfully jumped climbed onto Cham's back. The audience watched as the two animals played around with the music playing in the background. The beach ball, running through flaming hoops, it was all impressive, but pretty standard as far as animal tricks went.

"Those two are pretty well trained…" Sai mused before turning to Kiba. "Do you think that…"

"Talk about Akamaru like that and I will end you, Sai." The Inuzuka growled.

The ROOT shinobi tilted his head to the side. "I wasn't going to ask if your partner was that well trained, Kiba." He smiled. "I was wondering if you were…" Thankfully for the audience, Hinata, Ino, and Neji had worked together and combined their abilities to shut Kiba down before he could make much noise.

"Hey, check it out." Naruto spoke up as the small monkey spun an apple on her finger while standing on the tiger that was rearing up on its rear legs. "Something new."

"Now watch as our archer will hit the apple!" The ringleader announced happily, causing the audience to watch in anticipation. "One wrong move and Kiki will be in danger! Will our man's aim be true?"

Neji snorted as the drumroll started. "Please. Tenten could make that shot from three times that distance with ease…"

"Does that mean that she should join the circus as a part time job?" Lee blinked in confusion.

"Tell you what. Why don't you try asking her that the next time you see her and see what happens?" Naruto laughed, imagining how well that fiasco would turn out.

Before anyone could continue, an arrow with a suction dart flew in from a different direction than the archer, knocking down the spinning apple and silencing everyone in the room. The men holding the spotlights quickly turned their lights toward the shooter to reveal Hikaru with his small bow in hand, looking bored.

"Impressive for a boy that age." Sai mused the shinobi watched as the ringleader take things up a notch and offer Hikaru a prize if he could repeat his feat, only with Cham running around the middle of the room and Kiki spinning the apple on his back… which he quickly did. "Very impressive… it is rare for someone to possess archery skills on that level without special training."

"And… of course… he wants the tiger." Ino sighed as she saw the boy point to the dangerous animal. "Far be it for the kid to want something normal…"

"Ino, what part of this mission is normal?" Kin asked in a sarcastic tone.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the kid's dad bought the entire circus." Kiba rolled his eyes. "I mean, he has the money for it…"

4 hours later:

"For the last time, I was joking when I said that!" Kiba yelled as most of the rest of the shinobi behind him gaped in disbelief as they counted the zeros on the check that Michiru handed the equally dazed ringmaster.

"Why is it that even when we are supposed to go do something normal on this mission, something absurd happens?" Ino asked with a twitching eyebrow.

"We should know better by now… we really should…" Neji muttered to himself.

Sai, as impassive as ever, merely looked around curiously. "Hmm… while it is interesting to see the performers take down their setup… I must ask… where is Hikaru-sama?"

Said boy was wandering around absently among the circus equipment in the back, looking at everything around him with wide eyes as he took in everything. The zebra, the giraffe, the props… it was amazing how all of it was somehow a part of the show he was watching before…

The deep growling of a large beast drew him even further back as he found what he considered the greatest marvel of all in the circus. Turning a corner, the boy laid eyes on Cham and Kiki, casually laying on the ground behind a carriage that would no doubt follow his fathers' already massive caravan very soon. He watched as the monkey take a small bite out of an apple it had gotten its tiny hands on before offering it to the bored tiger, who in turn yawned and accidentally knocked the fruit to the boy. It was only then that the two animals realized that the white clad boy was there. Hoping to be on good terms with the tiger and not really seeing how dangerous the beast was, the boy picked up the apple and slowly offered it to Cham, hoping it would accept the gift peacefully.

Unfortunately, the tiger was not that fond of humans and immediately went on edge the second the boy got close. Growling lightly, the beast made several intimidating steps forward, intending to pounce on the now scared boy… when a new feeling overwhelmed all three living things there and froze them in place. It wasn't dark or malevolent; it was as if a significantly larger beast was gazing down on them from above disapprovingly.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Cham." Naruto smirked as his head popped over the carriage the group was behind. All three of them knew instinctively that the blonde human was the source of this feeling… and as a result, they knew that he was the one in charge at the moment. "The kid was just trying to be nice…" Naruto knew that the animals didn't know what he was saying per se, but apparently if you talked while exerting your Presence in a non-threatening manner, something was conveyed or produced in the process of talking that gave animals the general idea of what you were saying. It had something to do with baser instincts and animal comprehension, but it was one of the things that Naruto had more trouble understanding, and Ghost had not really gone into that much detail with.

"If you don't like him, just leave him alone. He's as much as a threat to you as Kiki is… oh by the way, hi Kiki." The monkey nervously made eye contact with Naruto as she tried to figure out what this boy was. "Oh come on. I'm not a bad guy." The blonde pouted as he pulled out one of his arms and pointed at the monkey's hat. Slowly, the piece of cloth began to float in midair almost playfully, much to the surprise of the three others. "I'm just somewhat crazy and wanna play with you guys." Naruto grinned in a fox like manner as the monkey attempted to grab her hat back, only for it to just float out of her reach in a taunting manner time and time again, slowly luring her to the stunned and awed Hikaru.

"Wow…" The boy gasped as the cap continued to playfully dance in the air. "How are you doing that?"

"It's a trick my master taught me. Catch." Naruto smirked as a last flick, the cap flew into arm's reach of the boy, who barely registered that it was that close to begin with.

The Prince's son enclosed the small headwear in his hands before the familiar gibberish of Kiki made him look down to see the curious monkey staring back at him longingly. "Ah…" Hikaru paused as he realize what the monkey wanted. "Here…" He hesitantly held out the cap to the monkey, afraid she might react the same way as Cham did with the apple. Thankfully though, Kiki did just the opposite and happily took the cap back before climbing onto the boy's shoulder and hanging off of it as if it was the normal thing to do. Not getting rejected put a smile on the boy's face…

"I'd wait before trying to get close to Cham though." Naruto advised casually from his top view. "Some things, people or animal, take time to get close to. Money doesn't have anything to do with it. If they don't want to be near you, they won't let you. Sound familiar?"

The boy paused before pouting and giving the blonde the cold shoulder again, knowing that he had been told pretty much the same thing by all the shinobi he offered to be his servant. "Humph. You ninja are just weird. Most people would just take my offer happily…"

"Most people? You mean there are people that have said no before?" Naruto asked in a fake curious tone, knowing that the boy's mother had divorced the Prince because he was clueless when it came to relationships.

"Hikaru! There you are!" Said clueless divorced father shouted as he, the ringmaster, Neji and Kiba walked over to the group. "I was wondering where you ran off to!" Only as he got closer did he notice that the boy was somewhat close to an on guard Cham and Kiki was on his shoulder. "Oh, and I see you've made some friends too!"

"Young master…" The ringmaster hesitantly spoke up. "Cham doesn't like people that much. Even I have trouble with him at times. It would be safe if you didn't stay so close to him…" He flinched as the tiger growled. "He also gets on edge when a lot of people get close to him as well…"

Akamaru jumped out of Kiba's sweater and walked to the tiger completely without fear and began to 'talk' with the tiger. The sight was almost cute if half the people there didn't think that Cham was sizing up the puppy as a next meal.

"I didn't know Akamaru could talk to other animals." Neji mused, impressed.

"Only larger or smarter animals like big cats and dogs, preferably trained." Kiba shrugged. "Most wild animals don't really have the ability to converse with others unless they travel in packs or are naturally vocal and intelligent in some way." He paused as he listened to the conversation of barks and growls continued before his puppy came back to him and translated what the cat said. "Yeah… Cham doesn't really like humans that much, or cages. He considers them… well, the best way to describe it in words as weak willed and unfaithful to the pack…" He paused as Akamaru barked in a new direction, causing to him to look at Naruto casually waving back at him. "And of course, Naruto has done something to at least keep him in check somehow for the moment." He deadpanned. "You are supposed to be a cripple still, damn you. Stop popping up and doing random stuff already."

"What kind of mysterious leader would I be if I didn't?" Naruto pouted childishly. "Besides, if I didn't do my thing, Hikaru would have gotten a tad bit too close to Cham's mouth, if you know what I mean."

The ringmaster sighed. "I'll make sure that Cham gets put into a cage for the trip so that he doesn't accidentally hurt someone. Regardless, we will have to do that anyways since we are travelling a large distance with you…"

"Yes. I believe that is the best thing to do too." Michiru nodded. "This tiger really is a beautiful creature, but he is also just as dangerous…" He walked up to his son and put his hand on the boy's non monkey occupied shoulder. "Say goodbye to your friends, Hikaru. We have to go make sure everything is packed now…"

"Y-Yeah…" The boy dejectedly lowered his head before he slowly picked Kiki up off of his shoulder and put her on the ground in front of him. "Sorry, Kiki. I have to go now. Bye Cham…" The royal boy turned and walked away sadly walked away with his father, feeling the animal's eyes behind him.

Naruto, Neji and Kiba remained in place as they watched the three turn the corner. "So how is the packing going?" The blonde asked in a calmer but still casual tone.

Neji sighed as he recognized that the blonde was giving them a status report, not simply striking up a conversation. "Thankfully, since we only stopped for the show, almost nothing was unpacked in the first place. The only thing we are really waiting for is the circus to break down, and they seem to be going at a pretty quick rate. They must have been doing this for a while. Even the animals are taking all of this in stride. Lee, Kin, Ino, and Sai are helping out as you ordered them to, while Hinata is making sure that no suspicious individuals try to do anything to the original carriages while everyone is moving around and distracted. They should be all set up by tonight and ready to leave by tomorrow."

The blonde nodded. "Good. The caravan is already fucking huge as it is. We need to make sure that everything is working well so that we don't get slowed down even more if something goes wrong." He stretched and popped some muscles. "According to the Prince, we have about a week before we get to the port that is supposed to send us to Moon Country's capital. After that fiasco in Iron, it would be nice if we at least got there without incident…"

"You make it sound like it wouldn't be unlikely to come across some kind of conspiracy once we get to the island." Kiba snorted.

"Considering what has already happened on this mission… and the fact that I have already done that TWICE regarding Spring country… yeah, I'm not holding my breath." Naruto deadpanned before smiling cheerfully. "But hey, look at it this way. Instead of being in a movie, you'll probably just earn a VIP seat in pretty much every resort on the island when we deal with whatever the hell is there."

Kiba and Neji gaped before looking at one another, hoping to hear some comforting words from their fellow shocked male… before groaning and walking away, pretending the conversation didn't happen… and that Naruto's maniacal laughter behind them wasn't reaching their ears…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Do I even want to know why you four were sneaking around the village in clothes that are all but burnt off of you?" Tsunade asked with a twitching eyebrow as the Ōgakari clan plus Zabuza and Haku stood in front of the woman, said question addressed to the all members of the clan in front of her minus Scabbard. "… and why does it smell like bacon the moment you stepped into the room?" She ignored Waltz groaning for the moment.

"Minor clan matters, Hokage-sama. It is nothing to concern yourself with." The only normally dressed member of the Ōgakari casually replied as the rest of his family warily kept their distance from him. "Volcano?"

"Volcano." Ghost hissed to Scabbard from the ceiling in the corner of the room, his clothes scorched enough that the hole in his chest was barely visible.

"He wants something…" Shadow spoke in a possessed tone, her coat and shorts all but burnt off her body and her chest only covered by her scorched tan sports bra.

"Be very careful when talking to him, Tsunade…" Waltz warned, his entire upper body revealed to everyone to show that in addition to the vertical deep scars on his back that all the males in the family possessed, the old man had numerous marks lacerating his immense muscular body all over as well, no doubt earned from countless battles and experiences. Somehow his staff remained perfectly unharmed, and his unblemished sword remained fused to his back despite the lack of a holster. "He has some new project planned. He is very dangerous right now…"

"I is dead. I is one with my enemy the floor." Crypt chanted, speaking into the ground and not moving otherwise. "None can harm the floor, for it is everywhere unless we are in opposite world… then I am one with the ceiling… and I demand cupcakes…"

"Just shut up already and listen to me, damn it." Tsunade growled as she took out a scroll. "A little over a week ago, the Mizukage sent us a message saying that she was considering a potential alliance with us, though a minor one. I'm guessing it had something to do with your little run in with her shinobi near Iron, Zabuza and Scabbard."

"If I said it didn't, would you actually believe me?" Scab asked with a hint of a smirk.

"Hell no." The woman grunted before continuing. "Anyways, the thing is that even if the agreement didn't go through, she wanted at least better relations between our two villages…" She frowned. "… and she… suggested… that Zabuza be the ambassador."

Said shinobi raised an eyebrow. "Me? Fuck that. Do I look like a negotiating type to you? My final statements usually involve cutting people's heads off. I'm fairly certain that they're well aware of how I close deals, too…" He pretended to ignore the fact that the air around Scab began to sparkle faintly, indicating that he was happy about something… and he pretended to ignore the fact that his baser instincts were telling him to run away screaming for his life that moment.

"Why do you think I ordered Haku to be here as well?" Tsunade grunted. "You can be the head and she'll do the talking for you. Lord knows you'll maim anyone else that tries to do pull it off."

"I must protest this, Hokage-sama." Haku stepped forward. "Even if I were to come, as a Hyōton user from the Yuki clan, Kiri would no doubt be interested in reclaiming my abilities as well… in a best case scenario. Having just Zabuza-sama and I go alone to the Land of Water would be akin to a suicide mission, even if they claim that it is under the pretense of improving relations between our villages…"

"Which is why I ordered you 5 here." Tsunade nodded to the clan of immortals. "No doubt one or all of you planned for something like this to happen. The situation with Kisame and the Sanbi only escalated things to a point where we will HAVE to be in direct contact with Kiri in order to prevent some sort of mass misunderstanding from occurring and playing us right into Madara's hands. Since you started this whole fiasco, at least one of you is going to go with Zabuza and Haku in order to ensure that they aren't walking into a trap without a hope of escape."

Scab sighed before stepping forward. "Your concerns are well warranted, Tsunade However, your belief of the severity of the current situation is misplaced. Had Zabuza gone to Kiri, I had already planned for an appropriate escort to accompany him…" The rest of his family flinched as they saw the sparkle in his eyes appear again. "I expect them to give me interesting results upon their return…"

"Quick! He is scheming again! To the volcano once more! Zabuza! You come too!"

o. o. o.

In a nearby bar:

Jiraiya, Sarutobi, Kakashi and Asuma sat down at a standard table and drank heavily.

"The Sanbi, huh?" Asuma slurred, his dark face red with the effects of alcohol.

"Yep." Kakashi nodded his head, recovering almost before he slammed it against the table.

"Honestly…" Hiruzen blinked and shook his head in disbelief. "4 of them at once… and none of us were there…"

"The brats don't know how lucky they were." Jiraiya sighed.

"At least they let that freak priest live… I owe him a good maiming…" Asuma grunted before he took another large gulp of sake. "And killing too…"

"Almost makes you wish that we were the ones who fought them off…" Jiraiya snorted.

"Almost." Hiruzen smirked. "I took care of Orochimaru. I've done my part, and I certainly don't want to do any more, thank you very much. My hips and back can't take another fight on that level…"

"But apparently they're still enough to beat my ass into the ground constantly…" Kakashi wept, the alcohol in his system loosening his tongue enough that he would occasionally swear and actually speak his mind.

"Hey, at least you're getting his attention." Asuma grunted. "The old bastard only trained me during my academy and genin days. After that, he wouldn't give me the right time of day…"

"Please." The ex-Hokage grunted. "You were a pretentious prick of a brat when you were a kid. Always yelling at me to teach you a new technique when I was trying to manage an army during the Second War, and arguing with me about my duties and decisions when I was about to make a speech at a friend's funeral. You ended up moving out of the compound the moment you became a chūnin and joined the 12 Shinobi Guards when you became a special jōnin. Little brat…" He took a deep drink of his sake before smirking. "Good times… good times… How's that monk friend of yours doing? Chiriku?"

Jiraiya and Kakashi sweatdropped as they noted that this was the first time in a while that they believed that their leader had actually gotten flat out drunk. "Still breathing. In charge of the temple." Asuma grunted as he blearily looked at his drink. "I told him that there were some dangerous bounty hunters running all over the place lately and that it would be smart of him to up his training a bit… but other than that, he's doing okay." He blinked wearily. "Man, I miss Shikamaru. I swear I'm gonna beat that kid in shōgi one day …"

Jiraiya snorted. "Yeah, right. I swore one day that I would turn Minato into a pervert. Never happened. Not for a lack of trying, mind you…"

"Ah Minato… such a gifted lad…" Hiruzen mumbled. "Taught me a few things about seals that were damn useful… left even more useful ones in the office, despite the short time he was in charge. I was amazed and terrified when I realized that Kushina taught him more about sealing from her clan…"

"Minato and Kushina… such a sweet couple… when they weren't chasing me away with sharp objects…" Jiraiya grunted. "I wonder if they ever broke in the Hokage office desk like I suggested…"

Hiruzen chuckled darkly as Asuma and Kakashi's face paled. "Those two? Break in the desk? Hah! That poor piece of wood was well warped before Biwako and I even stepped in there after that date gone wrong of ours when we were still engaged."

"I don't think I can drink anymore." Asuma grunted, not wanting to learn anymore about the night his elder sister was most likely conceived.

"I don't think I can stomach another drink either." Kakashi swallowed heavily, thinking the same about his Sensei's night where Naruto was probably produced.

Jiraiya snorted. "Heh, well isn't this something? Your teachers, you, me and Tsunade, and my student have pretty much wrecked that room to hell over the years…" He put on a sadistic grin. "Okay boys, who wants to put money on when the brat has his turn with that pretty little lady friend of his?"

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Jiraiya-sama…" Kakashi gulped. "If Hiashi finds out…"

"17 to 20. 10000 ryō." Sarutobi grunted without hesitation, causing the younger two men to stare at him disbelievingly. "I'm probably gonna drop by then, but damn it to hell, it's gonna be that age." He began to sway side to side. "I've seen the way that girl looks at him. Poor brat doesn't stand a chance now that she has a spine in her…"

"D-dad?" Asuma stuttered. "Are you okay?"

Jiraiya laughed. "Ah. Right, you've never seen Sensei like this. He kinda goes nuts whenever he drinks too much too quickly. It's actually pretty funny to watch so long as you don't piss him off…" He looked off to the side. "Tsunade really just gets angrier, and believe it or not, Orochimaru was a weepy drunk… which is why I've only seen him smashed once…"

"And from what I've heard in various circles, you're a clingy drunk." Asuma deadpanned, knowing of several of Jiraiya's intoxicated exploits.

"Where's Rōshi?" Hiruzen grunted. "The brat's gonna be annoying as hell once he gets back and starts telling everyone about how he beat up that overgrown turtle! I have to outshine him by taking down something bigger! I've beaten Rōshi at his best and I can do it again, damn it!"

"Okay, I think someone's starting to get a tad loose with his tongue at the moment…" Kakashi winced as he tried to calm Sarutobi down… only to find out he didn't need to, as the old man was already snoring with his head on the table. "… Or maybe he was just on his last legs…"

"Come on, let's get him home and plan on how to put the kids in their places when they get back." Jiraiya sighed as he took out his part of the bill. "Just be careful, he has a habit of drooling when he sleeps drunk…"

"Fine, I'll carry him back…" Asuma grunted as he put his money down. "But I get to do the speech after we kick their asses when they get back…"

o. o. o.

On a boat:

"So basically, the Prince's wife dumped him because he couldn't get his head out of his ass and realize that she wanted him to pay attention to her and not bring up material items in every conversation they had." Ino sighed as she ate the meal in front of her slowly. "Kinda bummed me out. She really ripped him a new one. Completely ignored him and paid all her attention to Hikaru… who barely even recognized her too…" She glanced at Kiba, who was sitting alone on top of the captain's station. "Kiba didn't seem to take it well either for some reason. I think it might have reminded him about his parents divorcing a bit… especially the part where she literally kicked him out of the house…"

"I still don't see why she is mad at him." Sai tilted his head in confusion, having been there as well. "From what I heard, he was willing to give her a very large amount of properties and items in an attempt to woo her again. Don't women normally like that?"

"It's not like that, Sai." Hinata sighed. "It is true that we do appreciate gifts, but if you are with someone that you really treasure, it becomes somewhat insulting when all they can think or do in order to make you happy involves money or things that can be bought… if it's done too much, it makes us feel as if we ourselves are nothing more than something to be bought and sold on a whim…"

"I see…" Sai mused as he began to write notes in his booklet. "Then I assume that women who lack this extra desire are merely prostitutes…"

The conversation was delayed indefinitely due to a heavy rain of Ino's poisoned kunai.

"We must stop thinking about such depressing things. It will only drop our moods for longer periods of time." Lee grunted with conviction as he saw the Prince dancing with some of the female performers from the circus as music played in the background, clearly drunk… which was impressive, considering how large he was. "The Prince has the right idea! Look how nimbly he is moving now!"

"I have the feeling that he's really just desperately trying to forget what happened with alcohol." Kin rolled her eyes before pausing and seeing a familiar looking blonde girl with whisker marks and a red face also dancing with everyone else and constantly losing her balance. "… Please don't tell me that's…"

"Apparently, I made the mistake of asking him how strong his immune system is with regards to alcohol consumption after we got into a conversation now that he's fully healed. He can definitely drink. I estimate that he probably had at least as much as the Prince… but when he does get intoxicated, it only hits him harder apparently." Neji sighed. "… From what I've heard about that particular transformation technique of his though, we got off lucky. The original version of it supposedly turned him naked as well…"

Ino giggled. "Oh yeah, I remember that technique. Every once in a while, he'd just whip it out of nowhere and cause the local perverts to black out. Even Iruka-sensei fell for it." Her grin widened. "Word is that even the Third Hokage would fall for it in an instant, but no one is willing to test it out…"

"That is… disturbing and disappointing…" Sai said slowly as he watched the transformed drunk Naruto sway on the dance floor in his/her pants and t-shirt before wiping off some sweat of his/her forehead and reaching down to take his/her shirt off and almost revealing his/her boobs to everyone there. That was when Hinata appeared out of nowhere behind Naruto and executed a textbook 8 Trigrams: 32 Palms on the blonde, reverting him back to normal as he dropped. She then grabbed his hair and dragged him away, most likely to the medical bay. Other than a small handful of people, no one seemed to notice the disappearance of the blonde or the sudden assault and kidnapping. It most likely had to do with the large amount of alcohol going around. "That, on the other hand… was just disturbing."

"And that is why we have all learned to purge unwanted images from our minds at an early age." Neji sighed.

"I am going to dance now! I feel I am going to get a good sweat from this workout!" Lee shouted excitedly as he got up from the table.

"That is also a major contributing factor." Ino sighed.

"Quite." Neji nodded in depression.

The group laughed at one another nervously as they watched the odd dancing in front of them for a while before Sai spoke up again. "Just curious… why haven't we talked to Naruto about what we learned about his mother from the Kumo shinobi?"

"He probably already knows about who she is." Neji grunted. "Remember when I was about to maul that fire using idiot? He mentioned that I wasn't the only one who almost lost someone to Kumo…"

"Wouldn't that be all the more reason to talk to him about it?" The ROOT operative questioned.

"He would have talked to us about it if he was fine with it." Kin sighed. "I know what he's going through. A good number of Orochimaru's forces were guys who abandoned or were abandoned by their family if they weren't flat out orphans. Talking about their folks usually meant that they'd be at the butt of bad jokes and relentless taunting for weeks. Those who actually went out to find out more about their lineage and homes, if they somehow managed to get the downtime, normally kept the info quiet when they got back. It was kind of a silent rule. Even if your family was dead, you made sure not to talk about them so that you didn't accidentally change how you saw them or how much they really meant to you. Don't get me wrong, they were all pretty much homicidal cold hearted pricks, myself included, but there were human parts to all of us. We just tended to ignore them for the most part."

"That's very insightful…" Neji nodded, understanding what Kin was saying.

"What about you?" Ino asked almost hesitantly. "What was your family history like?"

Kin rolled her eyes as she grabbed a pitcher of wine and poured a fair amount into her cup. "Mom was a hooker. Never bothered to find out who my dad was. She took care of me for almost 4 years before dumping me at some shitty orphanage that smelled almost as bad as it was. Never saw her again after that. 2 years later, Orochimaru comes by, looks at all the kids around and takes me and a few other guys in. The rest is obvious." She shrugged casually before taking in a deep gulp. "And please don't pity me. I heard some stories back in Oto that made me seem like I had a sheltered life."

The rest of the shinobi looked at one another with worried glances, knowing that they were just about to do that.

"Fucking hell…" Kiba grunted as he landed near the table and took a seat, completely ignoring the mood at the table. "I just had to verbally tear that brat a new one after he got the bright idea to get near that tiger again. It nearly took the kid's arm off when he tried to feed it an apple of all things. What part of if 'it has sharp teeth, it eats meat' don't kids understand these days? I swear, all these nobles think that if it is dressed up funny and is covered in fur, it's completely harmless…" He grabbed a piece of meat off of the table and tore off a piece for Akamaru before digging into his portion savagely. "So what's up?"

o. o. o.

On the other side of the boat:

"Hinata-chaaan." The still buzzed Naruto moaned as he laid on the ground with weepy eyes. "I can't feel my body and my head feels funny… and the sky feels funny too…"

The Hyūga sighed as she slowly focused on clearing out the remaining alcohol in his system. "That's what you get for trying to strip in your girl form, Naruto-kun. You're obviously still heavily intoxicated if you claim that the sky feels odd…"

"Nu-uh." The blonde childishly disagreed. "It feels funny. I can tell. I've been training my senses again. It's not chakra funny. It's weather funny… but not funny haha…" He grinned lazily before rolling his body into the girl and making a very bad attempt at snuggling with her. "You feel nice though…" He mused almost sleepily.

Hinata paused for a moment, trying to prioritize herself between encouraging Naruto's desire for more skin contact and his description in the sky before letting rationality win and looking her boyfriend in the eyes. The words left her mouth before she could even stop to think about how bizarre and awkward sounding they were. "Naruto-kun…" She spoke slowly. "Is the sky feeling funny uh oh?"

Naruto put on a childish face that indicated he was thinking for a moment before nodding. "Mmm. Yeah! Now I remember! It feels like a big storm is coming and… ohhh." He looked around lazily. "Right… we're on a boat… that's not good is it?"

The Hyūga didn't respond as she rapidly flipped through several seals and began to clean Naruto's blood at a faster rate. While she wasn't better at filtering poisons than Ino was, she was helped by the Kyūbi's chakra… though only a little for some reason. "Naruto-kun? Why isn't your healing ability working as well as it normally does?"

The blonde pouted. "The voices in me are angry. They say it's a lesson for overdoing things. Fuzzbutt's just laughing at me… stupid mean voices."

' _What was that Naruto?'_ Kushina's loaded sweet voice echoed in the boy's mind. _'Are you complaining that I am punishing you after I told you not to drink that much alcohol on a whim?'_

"Scary mean voice is scary and mean…" The blonde pouted. Inside his head, the Kyūbi roared in laughter as Kushina attempted to throttle her son from the inside and Minato attempted to calm her down from what he believed to be a safe distance from the woman.

"Naruto-kun…" The girl worriedly muttered as she continued to heal him. "How much longer do you think we have till the storm hits? It's too dark to see the sky clearly and we aren't hearing any thunder yet…"

The boy raised an eyebrow before looking at the sky. The severity of the situation reduced some of the buzz he was experiencing. "Um… dunno. I'm not that good yet and my head is fuzzy… we're going straight for one another, but it feels kinda far away still. We probably have another about… 2… 3 hours tops?"

The girl nodded as she quickly made a shadow clone to relay the information to their team and everyone on the boat. "Good. That should give us enough time to get everyone and all the animals inside before it hits…"

An Hour Later:

"I thought you said 2 to 3 hours!" Ino roared as she attempted to lead a rhino inside the boat as the rain began to pick up and lightning connected the sky and the sea nearby.

"I was fucking drunk off my ass when I made that guess, Ino! Get off my back!" Naruto shouted in defiance as he did the same with a giraffe. "Hell, I'm still buzzed as hell and I'm trying to help out, so stop making my headache worse than it already is!"

"This storm is getting ridiculous!" Kin made herself heard above the crashing waves. "We're not going to be able to secure everything in time if this keeps up! There's too much rain and the waves are too big! Someone's going to get swept off the boat before we can finish!"

"Then what the hell do you suggest?" Kiba snapped frustratingly as he held Akamaru, who was telling the animals to cooperate and get inside as quickly and orderly as possible… which was pretty much impossible considering how on edge everyone and everything was at the moment. "I mean, it's not like any of us can simply just make it stop raining or calm the sea down!"

Naruto paused for a moment before looking up and shielding his eyes from the heavy droplets. "Make it stop raining?" He grunted as his mind began to work overtime on an idea that most people would only claim could come from him… or the Ōgakari. Seconds later, the rain falling around the boy curved so that it would fall around him but it would not hit him at all. Smirking briefly to himself he shook his head. "Man, this is gonna drain me dry… and I just got better too…" He chuckled darkly before turning to his teammates. "I'm gonna try and make things easier for everyone! Keep trying to get everything inside and keep everyone safe!" He shouted.

Neji frowned. "What are you going to do? Take someone with you at least! Your plans have a trait of leaving you severely wounded!"

The blonde rolled his eyes before nodding. "Neji! Thanks for offering! Come with me!" He ignored the boy's surprised and horrified face and turned to Hinata. "Make sure everyone is safe while I do my thing. I'm counting on you."

The girl nodded. "I will, but please be careful. You just got better and I don't want you to put yourself in such a condition again so soon…"

"Don't worry." Naruto put on a cheesy grin. "This storm is nowhere near as dangerous as the Sanbi…" With that said the boy's cheerfulness disappeared and his sharp eyes narrowed with a focus. "Neji. We're going to the top of the bridge!" Naruto instructed the Hyūga as he timed his jump so that he would land on top of the part of the boat without much trouble. Neji took about half a minute to do the same as he tried to get his bearings straight and make the leap himself without landing in the ocean.

"What are you planning to do?" Neji asked as he looked around and winced as he saw a wave crash above the top of the deck of the ship and throw several of the people aboard around like toys. Thankfully, no one fell off.

"Neji…" Naruto frowned. The wind whipping around him from the storm made it difficult to establish his Seventh Sense around the boat, especially the front. "Remember my Chūnin Exam match against Hinata? That storm I whipped up?"

The prodigy frowned as he immediately figured out what Naruto's plan was. "You can't possibly mean… but you had trouble keeping it up for barely 5 minutes that time, and that was in normal weather!"

The jinchūriki sighed with a tired look on his face. "Yeah… I'm going to try and to the opposite for the boat. Luckily, it's a bit easier to do than making a storm, but it's still a tiring thing to do, especially to cover the entirety of the boat. I need you to make sure that nothing hits me up here and keep me in place. I'm gonna be busy focusing on keeping the storm off the boat while everyone manages to finish getting everything in place…" He clapped his hands together and rubbed them as if trying to warm them up. "This is gonna be one hell of a trick I'm trying to pull off all right…" He got down on one knee and made the dragon hand seal, closing his eyes in the process. "Just to warn you dude, you might want to brace yourself for this…" The blonde put on a shit eating grin before beginning to focus. ' _Mom, Dad, I need you to start giving me a steady supply of chakra very soon. You should be able to tell how much I need in a few seconds…'_

 _'You got it, Naruto…'_ Minato's voice echoed in his head.

Neji swallowed in anticipation as he watched Naruto focus so much that he seemed to ignore the outside world completely for what seemed like minutes before the familiar sensation of the air around him becoming something animalistic and wild encompassed his body. Watching with his activated eyes, he saw as the rain around the boy almost naturally avoided him as if he was surrounded by some natural invisible barrier around him. Said barrier increased gradually along with the boy's Presence. Almost instantly, Neji saw that the storm was affecting the boy's abilities as the shape of the barrier struggled to push forward while it elongated backwards for a fair distance, all the area inside untouched by the falling rain. Even the howling of the wind outside the barrier seemed distant within its confines…

And yet the area grew and pushed and widened as the size of the unseen beasts seemingly increased in power. By the time the barrier covered the tower of the boat, the playful animals had turned into threatening beasts focused on prey, no longer moving but ready to strike. The boat's constant rocking only seemed to slow the growing bubble slightly as the front began to pick up steam and cover the deck… the animals and everyone on board pausing and looking at the blonde boy in awe…

"Holy shit…" Kin gaped as she noticed the growing area that was protected from the rain.

"When will people learn that half the shit coming out of my mouth is nothing but bad jokes?" Kiba roared to no one in particular. "It's like god is purposefully fucking with my head here!"

"Tell them… to move their asses…" Naruto grunted through his teeth, his sharp eyes the only thing moving as the rest of his body clenched unnaturally still. Normally controlling the air around him so that it wouldn't be affected by the natural air currents wasn't that hard for the jinchūriki, but the combined stress of covering the entire boat and the power of the monsoon they in were proving to the boy that his master's warning about strong winds messing up his control were more than well founded. "This is… harder than it looks… this storm is… really strong…"

Neji nodded before turning to the people still on the deck. "I don't know how long he can keep things like this! Hurry up!" Neji's voice seemed to snap them out of their stupor as the bubble continued to grow and they returned to getting back to work with haste. "Let's hope this will be enough…" Neji frowned as a wave crashed into the boat and the water swept over it. The two remained silent for what seemed like hours to both of them as the crew continued to work as fast as they could, the only thing changing up there seemingly the amount of sweat and strain Naruto seemed to be under as he held strong under the force of the storm. After what seemed like an eternity to both of them, Neji decided to speak up. "I've heard of ninjutsu that last over long periods of time that can make travelling easier to do. Do you think that you could do this like a ninjutsu? Just pour in some chakra and make it act on its own?"

Naruto snorted in his spot. "Ero-nii classifies ninjutsu that make… odd long lasting disturbances… that act on their own after activating… as phantasms. Jutsu that… make things fly… act on their own… bizarre transformations… change the world… temporarily but significantly. Kinda like that move… Scab did at the tournament. Yeah, it's possible… to do something like you said… but it's hard… and I haven't figured out… a solid way on… how to make one yet. I know a few jutsu… that are phantasms… but I don't know… how to make one like the one you described…" He chuckled before continuing. "The… Seventh Sense… is already… a sort of phantasm… though it is very… basic. All it needs… is wind chakra… and harmonization… to work. Other wind… based phantasms, though… are hard to make… because they usually require… the air to move … in a specific… constant, complicated way…. in addition to having a strong source… of chakra." He looked at Neji. "Most jutsu… are temporary… and fast. Fireballs… wind blasts… lightning strikes… throwing earth… most only need a few seconds to work… or a medium to last a while otherwise…" He put on a grin. "Chōji's… and Kiba's clan techniques… aren't phantasms… because they need to constantly focus chakra… to work. Summoning though… is... because once you bring… them over… the technique… is technically done… on your part…"

Neji processed Naruto's lecture as he looked around and observed the work below. "An intriguing classification." He mused. "It sounds similar to a long lasting genjutsu. I take it these techniques require more than the standard amount of chakra to perform though…" He saw Naruto nod shallowly. "An interesting concept. A supplementary jutsu that doesn't need chakra after activation for a period of time… I believe that most trap ninjutsu fall into that category…" He paused as something caught his eye on the deck. "What the… why is Hikaru here? He should be inside…"

"The tiger's still in the cage… in the front. The ship's moving too much and there are too many big waves for anyone to get to it safely." Naruto grunted. "The monkey's trying to get the kid to help out… get someone to help him out before he's fucking washed overboard!" He snapped.

"Lee!" Neji shouted, not wasting any time and pointed to the boy moving to the tiger. Somehow during the confusion, he had managed to get a ring of keys from one of the circus people. "Protect Hikaru!"

The taijutsu expert's eyes widened as he saw the boy move dangerously far away from any help and stumble as the ship tilted dangerously with the still raging ocean. He hadn't noticed the boy due to the previous rain clouding his sight, as did everyone else. "Right!" He shouted as he ran forward as quickly as he could without losing his balance. Of course, this only meant that instead of an instant, it took less than 3 seconds for the ninja to reach the boy and rest his hands on his shoulders. "It is very dangerous here! You should be inside!"

"No!" The royal boy argued. "I'm saving Cham! Kiki would be sad if he died!"

Lee blinked for a moment before looking at the worried monkey, no doubt freaked out by the combination between the storm and Naruto's presence and worry for her friend, before smiling and giving the boy a thumbs up. "Well, then we will have to do so quickly before my youthful leader gets angry at both of us!" He claimed before he helped the boy to the tiger's cage where it was ramming itself against the door. With Lee helping, it only took a small amount of time for the boy to get to the cage, albeit a bit wet from the large waves, and with some effort open the door. Within moments, the tiger leapt out of its confines and stopped, looking at the boys who aided him with Kiki in tow…

Just before the front of the ship dipped dangerously as a large wave came straight at the ship.

"Shit!" Neji swore as he saw how deep in trouble they were. He was too focused on what was going on the bridge to notice the wave, and Naruto was more than likely limited to sensing only what was in his barrier to notice the monstrosity too.

"Lee!" "Hikaru!" Everyone outside shouted as the massive wall of water blasted over the front of the ship like the mouth of a monster willing to eat everything in its path…

"The hell I'm letting that happen…" Naruto growled with something almost akin to primal rage as he forced his Presence as high as he could and shoved his hands forward as if he was pushing something. Somehow, he managed to shove the humongous wall of water back and prevent so much as a drop from falling on the ship as the rest of the wave to either side was held away. Hell, some of the wave even went completely over the ship, making it look like it was going through a brief water tunnel. The sky around the ship itself seemed to practically be alive, a part of a large, enraged beast that was strong enough to at least defy the power of the storm for a good while. Everyone was frozen in place as the ship creaked under the stress of the power the wave still exerted on it before it evened out somewhat with the moderately large waves that it had been dealing with before. On top of the bridge, Naruto sweated as he glared down on everyone and every beast there. "Unless you are doing something productive…" He growled deeply, a bolt of lightning striking very close to the ship. **"Get… inside… NOW."**

Even though no one could really hear what he said, the message was still sent almost perfectly as the animals and some of the more novice deck hands almost immediately moved for the doors of the ship. The rest who remained just as quickly scurried to move in or secure the remaining crates that had been stored on top of the ship.

Neji, who had been standing right next to the temporary storm breaker, merely gaped. He had known that Naruto was an impressive individual. He had seen the boy fight. He had seen the boy maneuver himself around situations that would break full grown men… but he had never seen the blonde as serious as he was now. Absolutely focused and exerting enough power to even stave off the forces of nature, surrounded by an aura that demanded… no… required absolute obedience. Even animals who didn't even know what he was saying responded to his will almost instantly… not due to killing intent like most people would… but just by sheer will and power. Neji knew for a while that Naruto was the strongest shinobi in his group, if not in his entire generation… but it was really only now that he realized that the sheer gap… more like canyon between the blonde and the rest of his friends was far larger than he had originally assumed… and it was because of this huge space that Tsunade made him the leader of their group… she apparently was far more familiar with this side of the blonde than he was.

Neji remained in this state for so long that he barely noticed that the rest of the animals and cargo had been safely secured. Just as the last remaining deck hand got inside, the blonde reduced the size of his barrier and got up. "Come on." The blonde grunted in a tired, but stern tone as he jumped down to the front deck, followed by the shaken Neji. Once inside, the two were met by the rest of their group, several of the members of the circus, and Hikaru, who all stared at the blonde as he dropped his barrier completely and the sound of the rain flooding their ears once again. "Everyone's here?" Naruto asked in the same calm tone as before, his body betraying nothing other than the flushed look on his face and his deep breathing, his Presence still being exerted enough that everyone felt it clearly, though nowhere near as much as it was before.

The ring master nodded shakily. "Y-yes. Thanks to you, we managed to get everyone inside without trouble. Some cargo was lost due to waves when the storm first hit, but all the animals are accounted for."

The blonde nodded shallowly before glancing at Lee who stiffened immediately next to the unconscious Hikaru. "The young one has shown a great amount of youthfulness! He passed out under the stress of the situation, but other than that he has no injuries, Naruto! Cham and Kiki have gone further back into the ship once we got inside!"

Naruto looked at Hinata. "Any injuries to the deck hands?" He asked.

"Other than one breaking his arm when he fell after being hit by a wave and another with several fractured ribs from being thrown into a cage, they are mostly minor injuries." The girl reported in a solemn tone. "I am more concerned about you… you held back the storm for so long… and then there was that wave…"

Only then did Naruto let loose a small grin and snort. "Heh. Isn't it obvious?" He chuckled before beginning to sway to the side and leaning against a nearby wall. "I'm spent as hell and seeing things!" He cheerfully grinned as his legs quickly began to lose their ability to support him in the rocking boat and his Presence disappeared. Before he could collapse to the ground though, Hinata managed to grab him and hold him up by the arm. "I'm gonna nap now…" The blonde muttered with tired eyes, ignoring all the worried looks everyone was giving him. "Hinata-chan will check up on me… Neji's in charge…" Before anyone could respond to his orders, the blonde had already fallen into a deep exhausted sleep.

No one said anything as they all looked at the boy, trying to figure out what they should feel or say as the girl holding him up slowly carried him to the medical bay.

o. o. o.

In a barren wasteland filled with swords…

Scabbard sighed as he walked through his mindscape, passing by legendary blade after blade. Despite the fact that things had turned out well during his trip to Iron, there were still things that he had wished didn't happen. Kumo undoubtedly knew that he wished to use the turtle island for training jinchūriki now, and he wouldn't put it past them to have figured out about Naruto's lineage. He would have to expose himself more than he was accustomed to in order to make things work well. Normally he would have more people between himself and those he wished to do business with, but the amount of time he had combined with the individuals he was dealing with all but completely denied that option. Thankfully, the situation was far from unsalvageable. All he had to do was say the right words and make the right moves… distorting how people see and hear things so that they follow the right path to ensure that a better future can be had…

Distortion…

The word made the man smirk. All existences had a concept of sorts that could define them and influence who they were, or what they did. For the most part, the relationship between individuals and their origins were barely there at best… others, not so much. Even incredibly strong, influential, and powerful individuals could go throughout their lives without even knowing of it, yet still disrupt the balance of their planet or save their homes or accidentally create a new world order or etc., etc. Some origins were simple. Others there were no name or word for. Scabbard's friend, who once had the name Shirō Emiya but abandoned it years before they met, had the concept of 'sword' as his origin and coincidentally as his natural affinity as well. He was saved by it, lived by it, and died by it. It was little wonder that he was capable of creating Unlimited Blade Works…

Scabbard's… he had an elemental affinity for electrons, a natural affinity for weapons… but his origin was and had always been 'Distortion'… and it was a very strong influence at that. The interpretation and manipulation of anything and everything around him in every way he desired or attempted, always straying from the norm or the original path. The more he knew about what he was messing with, the better he could wind it around his little finger in intricate patterns that should be in museums. Even before he was employed by Zuzushi as a guardian and gained his powers, he had been a rather manipulative little bastard and loved both messing with his family and tinkering with electronics. He himself was distorted in more than one way, always seeing a person as a sort of experiment before even speaking to them. Seeing what they were made of physically and metaphysically before the 'person' ever registered. Even his own family were subject to this viewpoint…

Even himself.

The ground around him rumbled as slowly a city rose from the barren wasteland. Massive pillars containing information, guns, missiles, tomes, wands, staffs, shields, lasers, vehicles, robots, chemicals, materials, animals, plants, poisons, elements, compounds, liquids, gasses, crystals, everything conceivable and many things that weren't slowly grew into the air like massive branchless plants. In the distance if one could see past the buildings, structures of odd shapes and sizes rose from the barren earth as well. Biological experiments and creatures that possessed and did not possess metal parts on their body flew through the air and walked across the planes. From the still burning sky above, satellites and other aircraft of all proportions emerged. Various objects both living and mechanical streaked across the sky in all angles as the man stood casually on the small untouched hill of blades… observing his inner world return to its original state as it had been before he prepared for the sword master tournament.

… He pretended to ignore the gap in one building where it looked like another giant robot was supposed to go. The label on the side reading "MEGAS"… one day he WOULD figure out how to make that abomination of random chaotic destruction… if there was ever a reason to never give two random guys from New Jersey with too much time on their hands a giant robot with unstable technology…

Looking around, the man sighed. It was because of his mental quirks that he was capable of doing something as impossible as this. Mindscapes can change to what the user wanted, yes, but if left alone, they would always return to their original concept or image. It was because of who he was that he could change his very foundation like he could… and enable himself to use Unlimited Blade Works.

The thought of the requirements of the technique made him frown. UBW was a technique shaped and fueled by the very concept of the user naturally - and more importantly, subconsciously - seeing the world differently than the normal human being… in effect, being distorted themselves in a very specific manner. It was the reason why Reality Marbles were so rare even in the world it had originated from, few people were twisted enough to pull it off… 'Shirō', or Archer as he was later called, suffered from survivor's guilt from an incident when he was a child, being the only one saved from a massive fire that killed 500 other people in a single night. As a result the man believed that his person, life, needs, or happiness came second when compared the needs of others and would not hesitate to put himself into blatant and extreme danger in order to help or save another person, even when said person was a previous enemy or a complete stranger, even when the odds of survival for him were borderline nonexistent… much like his self-preservation instincts at times…

It was almost amusing that despite this fact, the man was almost as sarcastic and condescending as Scab himself, which was part of the reason why the two got along so well…

So why could Tenten, a girl who by most means be considered normal personality wise other than being a weapon nut… use it? Even if she had a natural affinity for weapons it would not be enough to qualify her to possess the inner world of blades. It was a question that had been irritating the man ever since he had returned to Konoha like a faint itch. The girl's mother had died when she was relatively young, though he had yet to know how… it probably had something to do with that… but still the girl showed virtually no sign of peculiar personality traits… and he had looked ever since he had met the girl and realized her potential. Even now as he on the outside watched her analyze the structures, concepts, compositions, making, growth, experiences, and purposes of various random objects in front of her with her powers and testing her on each one, she seemed… normal. Granted he was somewhat glad of that. Oddly enough, whenever he did take on a student, it tended to be a girl with a temper on the short side, a fact that even he had no logical explanation for, though his family joked it was because he had a thing for young girls who were tsundere...

…Well, they did joke about that before he drugged them to the gills and shot them at neutron stars enough times… Crypt of course needed roughly 20 times the dosage of everyone else…

Still this quandary was getting more than irritating… it was proving to be a rapidly approaching roadblock. Without knowing what Tenten's quirk was and enabling the girl to enforce it, she would never be able to utilize UBW to its full capabilities. The number of weapons she would be able to produce, the quality of the stronger weapons, the ease of access into her library would all reach a limit soon enough, and that would be counterproductive to her training.

The man had respected his student's privacy as he did with everyone else's that he worked with to a degree… limiting himself to finding out about their standard personal information, family history, and some small facts… some of which he would have preferred to have never found out… but now was not the time to be polite about such minor rules and standards. He wanted to find something out, and he would find it one way or another…

o. o. o.

Land of Moon:

"Sooo…" Naruto mused on top of the Prince's carriage as it traveled to the main castle, partially because he wanted the view and partially because he was still exhausted. The town was virtually empty with advertisements playing constantly, giving it an eerie feeling. "No one's outside… and the cruise ships haven't been arriving at or leaving the island for a while…"

"We hate you, Naruto." Ino grunted, knowing exactly what the blonde was insinuating and that he was most likely correct. "We hate you very… very much right now."

"Could be worse." The blonde grinned. "Could be zombies. Empty town. Middle of the ocean. Isolated city. All we really need is some random blood stains everywhere and we'd have a textbook setup right here and now…"

"Please stop talking." Kin sighed. "I don't want to deal with your crazy right now."

"Just in case… we should probably split into 2 teams and travel separately." Neji mused, careful not to say too much and scare those who didn't know what they were talking about.

"I agree." Hinata nodded as she briefly activated her eyes but not seeing anything of particular interest other than the locals hiding in their homes and a few soldiers spying on them from behind the nearby buildings. "It appears that we are being watched by some who are problems and some who aren't…" She muttered quietly.

"How well armed?" Sai whispered back.

"Very… but they aren't shinobi, judging from their chakra coils." Neji responded. "There are more than a few of them too, but they are just watching us…"

"That means that they have a big force…" Kin frowned. "We should retreat…"

"Not yet." Naruto interrupted. "This is a good chance to get more info on what happened. Coups are normally staged by nobles who like to gloat and show off to their next target after they managed to succeed once or twice. They'll think we're an easy kill…" He paused. "Ino, Sai, Kiba, Hinata. You four act as the front while the rest of us watch from a distance and hide. Other than me, you are the best at handling multiple enemies at once. If things get too rough, we'll make an opening for you, but otherwise we'll be the unexpected backup if they have shinobi in their ranks. Try and get as much information as you can…"

"Sounds logical…" Neji nodded.

"Finally we get to see some action, right Akamaru?" Kiba grinned ferally as his puppy barked in agreement.

"I'll try to make sure my teammates don't do anything foolish." Sai stated cheerfully.

"Just try to keep your mouths shut, both of you." Ino snorted, also eager to fight for once as she fingered one of the many poisoned kunai she had on her person.

"I'll do my best…" Hinata whispered, not liking to be put on the spot so suddenly like this.

"Be careful guys." Naruto warned as he stiffly got up. His body was still somewhat exhausted from dealing with the storm earlier. "You're walking right into a trap. Don't overexert yourselves…" He turned to the Prince. "Hey, Michiru-dono. I'm taking a few of the guys to check stuff out up ahead and make sure everything's okay. Don't be surprised if we don't catch up by the time you get to the castle."

The Prince nodded. "Please do. I'm kind of curious as to what's going on as well…"

With that said, Naruto, Lee, Neji and Kin jumped away and disappeared into the town.

In an hour the lone carriage had made it to the castle in the distance and without any issue allowed them past the thin steel gates. As they walked past, and got closer to the large building, Hinata saw Naruto and Lee quietly sabotage the gates quickly and disappear again while her eyes were active, ensuring that the entrance could not be closed behind their carriage.

"Where is everyone?" Michiru looked around confused as he got out of his ride with his son.

"Be on guard, I'm smelling a ton of guys with metal on them nearby…" Kiba growled. "… and some strong chakra signatures…"

"Michiru! Ah, it is nice to see you!" A fat man in expensive clothing claimed as he walked to the veranda of the castle with an equally fat woman. His brown greasy hair showed that he was balding, but also that he had formed his thick facial hair so that his moustache connected with his normal hair, giving him a bizarre look. "How was your trip? You were gone quite a while, travelling to the other countries."

"His… hair is his… moustache, and it's thick… like Gai's eyebrows…" Ino twitched as she saw this fashion faux pas and reached for her kunai. "If he gets any closer to me… I will correct this travesty… the world will thank me for it…"

Sai sighed as he saw Ino's reaction. He did not understand the girl. She claimed to be a fashion expert, yet when nobles, the supposed elite of society, appeared with their own unique style to show off their tastes, she normally had a meltdown and got a strong urge to 'fix' them. It had been the problem on several missions since forming their team. His eyes narrowed. Still, this man in particular practically screamed overconfident, and from the way he was looking at the Prince, he was hiding something troublesome. Reaching back for his ink and paper, Sai prepared himself for the worst…

"Shabadaba." Michiru asked curiously, not hearing the brief burst of laughter coming from the distance before it was silenced just as quickly. It didn't stop the shinobi with the Prince from twitching, knowing who exactly had just burst out laughing… other than Kiba, who was practically killing himself from trying not to laugh at the absurd name as well. Judging from how the man in question acted, he just assumed that Kiba was the one who made the noise. "Where's Dad?"

"Yeah…" Kiba snorted, desperately trying to hold himself back. "Where's the king… Shabadabahahahahahaha!" He rolled on the ground laughing, not able to hold back any more. "I can't say it after all! Honestly, what kind of name is that?"

"Akamaru?" Hinata smiled sweetly, though not at all hiding her irritation. "Would you please bite Kiba?"

Crunch.

"Ahhh, god damn it, Akamaru! You traitor!"

"You seem to have an interesting guard, Michiru…" Growled the noble, clearly not amused with his name as Kiba was. "I wonder if he'll find it amusing when I tell you that the King is dead."

The area went quiet as the words registered with everyone below before dozens and dozens of guards filed out of the castle and surrounded those below. "Wh-what's going on?" Michiru looked around scared as he stumbled back and held onto his son."

"I'm planning on being king." Shabadaba grinned savagely. "To do that, I need to get rid of you and your son… the heirs." He paused for dramatic effect. "Kill them!"

Before the men even began to move, the Konoha shinobi had already prepared themselves for the worst. Ino took out her poisoned weapons and bombs, Kiba and Akamaru had transformed, Sai had his ink and paper out, and Hinata was in her Jūken stance and had activated her eyes.

"Chōjū Giga…" Sai muttered as countless snakes and spiders came to life from his scroll. The former wasted no time wrapping around the shocked men, who were armed for fighting wars and large beasts, not the agile serpents that maneuvered easily around their shields and weapons and held them in place. The spiders were just as effective as they climbed all over their prey and covered them in ink webbing that stuck many of them together into place.

The spiders were a new trick he'd learned after reading about their efficiency in various action adventure manga. They wouldn't last as long as the snakes due to the fact that their webbing would make them use up the ink that they were made of, but they were capable of handling many of the men at once. As his first round of beasts took care of a good number of opponents, Sai turned his attention to the group of men who were not caught and were running to him with their weapons drawn. Rapidly drawing on a new blank page, he began to sketch out a long line of one of his personal favorite designs, the lion…

Kiba and Akamaru were having a blast as they shot from one opponent to another, constantly grazing and injuring each man they passed by with ease while spinning around all over the place. "Woo hoo! These weaklings can't touch us, boy!" Kiba shouted. Gatsūga was designed for situations like this: either drilling through strong defenses with a focused point, or tearing through large numbers of fairly weak opponents with grazing attacks.

"Let's try our new maneuver!" He shouted, getting a growl of confirmation from his partner as the two suddenly began to spin around rapidly again while encircling a large squad of the now scared men until the two shinobi trained animals were nothing more than blurs. "Arai Hanto (Wild Hunt)!" Kiba roared as he and Akamaru bolted through the men on opposite sides in an instant before doing so again from different angles, repeating the process multiple times almost instantly at high speeds before both skidded to a stop next to one another by the carriage again and smirking as the torn up and injured men all fell due to the wounds they'd sustained. Their shields, while strong, had been near useless under the savage and relentless assault from all sides, as the gaps they had were exploited before they could cover them. Luckily, none of them were fatally injured… or they wouldn't be so long as they got the right treatment. One or two might be missing a limb and a good number would be scarred somewhere on their bodies, but that was to be expected when engaging a shinobi…

Ino sighed as she wove in and out of the sluggishly moving men and cut their tendons and other body parts before they could react. Dealing with so many weak enemies was rather tedious and annoying. Soon after the fighting began, the girl had let loose a strong and fast acting paralyzing agent in the air around her. Luckily she was downwind from the rest of her group, but that still didn't mean they couldn't get affected. As soon as the gas was unleashed, the girl watched as the men in front of her coughed and began to slow down, both physically and mentally. Of course, those that didn't get affected managed to understand what she had done, but that didn't help them when she stabbed a good number of them with her poisonous kunai when they got too close. Thanks to her training, she was immune to all of the poisons she was using now, so there was no limit to where she could go and who she could stab. Even better was that when the men tried to distance themselves from her and try to rescue their allies, she could accurately use her mind body disturbance technique to get the poisoned men to assault their rescuers and catch them off guard. Thankfully, the speed at which she could make the technique work was rather high compared to her clan's standards. Her father was good enough to use it on 5 targets at once with little trouble, but she was still learning the basics of how to split her concentration enough to do two, so for the moment it was slow going. Still, she was holding her enemies back pretty well, so she couldn't complain that much…

Hinata was a blur of mass destruction. Every soldier that attempted to get near her was blown away, either by a jūken strike or by a blast of pure chakra. Shields meant nothing to her, as her attacks possessed enough potency to push through the basic material with ease and hit their true target thanks to her chakra control, launching the unfortunate victims back and hitting more potential threats. Those she hit, stayed down.

However, it wasn't enough, as more and more men continued to pour out of the castle and reinforce those attempting to kill the Prince.

Frowning, the girl looked behind her and judged the distance between her and the carriage to be too small to use Kaiten without possibly harming the Prince. All of her techniques generally focused on hitting one opponent at a time, but there were too many to do that, and most of her wide area attacks weren't designed for this number of opponents. She grit her teeth. She needed to make an opening and keep the men away…

There was only one technique in her arsenal that could do both…

Focusing her chakra in her hands into a spiraling ball of pure energy, the girl growled as she rushed up to the closest soldier that was blocking the front, leading a good number of other men behind him. "Rasengan…" She muttered as the ball of power slammed into the man's shield, instantly blasting him and all the men behind him back with gusto. Considering how far away they'd flown (one of the soldiers _barely_ missing Shabadaba as he slammed into the castle's facade), none of them would be able to make it back to the fight any time soon. A moment later the girl had done a repeat performance with another line of men also blocking the way of the carriage's escape. "What are you waiting for?!" She yelled at the driver. "MOVE!"

The man leading the horses snapped out of his shock and cracked the whips of the horses with commendable enthusiasm. The horses, perhaps sensing their current peril, responded by going straight from standing to gallop, attempting to get out of the area as fast as they bloody well could. Before the animals had even begun to pick up speed, the Hyūga heiress had already moved back to dispatching the men nearby with brutal speed and efficiency, now focused on merely keeping them out of the way long enough to escape. She panted as she danced around a man attempting to cut her down from behind and countered with two simple strikes before moving on. Rasengan was an incredible technique; strong, compact and fast… but it was extremely taxing for the girl. Her reserves were rather large for her age and gender, and her control was better than most adult shinobi's, but she was still a 13 year old girl that wasn't a jinchūriki. There were limits to what she could do. If that wasn't enough to worry about, there was also the concern of the three shinobi watching them from higher up on the castle. Every one of them was strong - at least a high ranking chūnin in strength, if her estimations were correct - with the strongest somewhere between special jōnin to jōnin. If they entered the fight now, their only hope would be that Naruto's squad would catch everyone off guard enough to make a good escape.

"Sai! Kiba! Ino!" Hinata shouted as she slowly began to follow the Prince and knock down some more men in the process.

"Right!" The squad responded as they began to move closer to the carriage and prepared for their escape. As the horses began to reach full gallop, Ino threw half a dozen poison bombs on the road when they crossed the gates, a spot where the rallying soldiers couldn't go around, effectively pre-empting any pursuit. Sai added to the confusion by making a dozen more ink lions to attack the men and divert their attention long enough that no one would be able to pay attention to where they were going.

"We got company!" Kiba growled as he looked forward and saw another carriage up ahead, heading in the opposite direction as they were, The men on board were armed for combat, but were dressed slightly different from those at the castle. Less armor, and shoddier equipment.

"Hold." Hinata frowned as she saw the men's reactions to their presence as they approached one another. "They seem different…"

"Is his highness there? Is he safe? We've come to help!" The man who appeared to be in charge shouted as his own ride slowed down.

"Who are you?" Kiba growled, prepared for anything and urging the driver to not slow down.

"Korega?" Michiru shouted from inside the carriage. "Is that you? Is it true? Is Father really…"

"He's still alive!" The man shouted as he urged his ride to turn around as quickly as possible. "He was poisoned during the uprising when he was leading us against Shabadaba, but he's still alive! We can take you to him! Follow us!"

"He's not lying." Neji stated as he landed on top of the Prince's carriage with his eyes active. "He isn't showing any sign of deceit… but keep your guard up."

The shinobi nodded as they allowed the black carriage to take the lead…

Back on the top of the castle, the three shinobi who were watching the fight chuckled.

"Not bad for a bunch of kids." The tallest mused. "The girl in charge seemed to have some strong jutsu…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Sasuke collapsed to the ground as soon as Kakashi gave him permission to rest. Ever since he had returned from Iron, the Uchiha had thrown himself into a strenuous training regimen in an attempt to catch up to Naruto.

His teammate was stronger than him.

That had always been apparent, but the fight against the Sanbi had given him an idea of just how far behind his teammate he was… and he didn't like it. It was one thing to be simply weaker than a person you knew. It was another to be left completely in the dust. He knew that Naruto was playing to his biggest strength during the incident, chiefly his absurd reserves and his access to the Kyūbi's chakra, but the main thing that just kept bugging Sasuke was that other than adding a bit to the collaboration technique against the Sanbi, he was virtually useless during the fighting…

As such, he needed to start training to his strength as well… his Sharingan. Having three tomoe was a good first step, but he needed to be better. In order to beat the monsters that he was undoubtedly going to encounter in the future, he needed to exploit the two greatest things his eyes gave him: increased perception and access to absurdly strong genjutsu… and the only person who could give him the best lessons on both at the same time was Kakashi.

… Which was why he was now practically dead on the ground after running around and enduring a high speed taijutsu match against his teacher while the sadistic man subtly put the boy under illusions with his own Sharingan at the worst times. The idea was that the better the boy could see through illusions, the better and easier he could cast them later on… if he survived that long, that is. He could technically see through genjutsu already… it was just that they were still rather distracting for him, as he saw a bit of the illusion in addition to reality at the same time and it was sometimes hard to focus... which resulted in Kakashi driving his fist into the boy's stomach.

"Not bad." The cyclops mused as he walked to the boy casually. "Your body is getting more used to fighting at high speeds and recognizing genjutsu. A few more months of this, and I might just teach you a decent illusion…"

"A… again…" The boy coughed as he struggled to pick himself up.

"Sasuke, you need to calm down and take it easy." Kakashi sighed. "You won't get better if you wreck your body, even if we have Tsunade-sama here to help you out. Trust me when I say this, you are progressing at a fast pace yourself…"

"Not fast enough…" The Uchiha hissed. "Dobe can already take on those huge tailed beasts by himself if he wanted to… and my brother and that group he's in can, too. I need to catch up to them, and this is the only way to do it… other than…" He looked down in irritation as he thought about the next level of his bloodline.

"The Mangekyō, right?" Kakashi asked, ignoring the look of shock his student gave him. "Yeah… that does seem like the case to you, now doesn't it? We have only a few years to beef you up, and those eyes would definitely help… if it weren't for the drawbacks, of course."

"How… do you know about it?" Sasuke asked almost silently. "It's supposed to be a clan secret…"

"It comes with getting a full blast of Tsukuyomi when your brother came here a few months ago." Kakashi shrugged. "It's kind of hard to forget about something like that… of course, you would know too." He crouched down and looked at the boy in the face, contemplating his next words and actions carefully. "Well… there's this too, I guess…" Focusing hard, he slowly morphed his own borrowed eye until it took its own transformed pinwheel shape.

Sasuke's eyes widened in shock as he recognized what his teacher had just done. "You… but… how…"

"I got this shortly after your brother hit me with that illusion of his by pure chance." Kakashi explained as his red eye returned to its normal state. It was a lie, but Sasuke didn't have to know. "Mine can perform a very powerful technique called Kamui… but I can at best use it 4 times before it would kill me without fail. Even using it once lands me in the hospital for a while. I've only used it a handful of times so far, but I can already tell that there's a small impairment to my Sharingan's vision because of it… You would get a boost in power if you somehow got your eyes, but it won't last, and in the end you would end up being a burden if you relied on it even a little too much…"

He paused as he saw Sasuke become even more depressed before he grabbed the boy by the shoulders. "Sasuke. You have a tremendous amount of potential and you work hard, but even if you trained every day and got the Mangekyō Sharingan, there would still be a chance that you would die against these opponents. I myself was considered a prodigy when I was a kid, and with this eye, many could even consider me to be a potential Hokage candidate now. Not once have I thought that any of those things mattered when I fight an opponent. The only things I do think of are ways to out maneuver them and how to take them out…" He eye smiled. "Which is why I myself am training a fair bit with Sarutobi-sama so I can be ready for these guys too. If it makes you feel any better, he's doing to me what I'm doing to you, if you can imagine something like that."

Sasuke glared at Kakashi before barely smirking. "From what the dobe's told me about the old man… I wouldn't put it past the two of you to waste half your time talking about those annoying porn books of yours…"

Kakashi chuckled somewhat nervously as he pulled down his headband and hoped that the blush on his face didn't show. "The point is that these guys really are no joke, and that even I'm training a bit to improve my chances." He straightened himself up and stretched. "Still… there are several things that you do have going for you that no one else has…" He nodded towards the modified Curse Seal on the boy's shoulder. "That useful fixed mark of yours is one of them… and I'm proud that you haven't used it yet in our spars. It shows good self-control. You're a fast learner as well… it won't take you long to master the illusions I can show you before I have to hand you off to Kurenai. She doesn't have a dōjutsu like we do, but she knows more about genjutsu than anyone else in the village, and she can help you perfect your illusions… and then there are those clan scrolls that you've probably been going over too."

Sasuke shifted around uncomfortably. It wasn't that big of a secret that his clan had documented a fair number of techniques that they had copied from other shinobi over the years. It was something that had earned his clan a fair bit of animosity from others that he still experienced from time to time, even in Konoha. He had used it on occasion, but he found that he got faster results learning from others rather than scrolls, even if the scrolls had more techniques in them.

"Don't count yourself out before you even get a chance to see how far you can go…" The elder genius began to walk away. "Once you are done with a good part of your reaction and speed training, I'm going to send you to the Ōgakari so that you can truly master that seal of yours in addition to your training under Kurenai. They are the only ones who really know the full potential behind those things. If you truly want to catch up to Naruto… then you would have to undergo training from the ones who are responsible for the majority of his recent growth." He paused. "… And survive with your mind intact, of course." He added with a joking tone.

Sasuke snorted. "I think I would have a better chance of coming out normal if I had been trained by Orochimaru."

Kakashi eye smiled. "Maybe… but you'd probably end up a pretentious little brat in the process. That and the whole… spending long amounts of time with Orochimaru doesn't really sound enticing either."

"Decisions, decisions." The Uchiha chuckled as he got up. "Train under a family of psychotic and insane bastards who are as likely to kill me as they are drive me crazy, or train under a creepy old guy that would stare at me like a piece of meat every day, want me for my body, and end up as a complete prick."

"Well, it's a good thing one of them is dead already, huh?" Kakashi laughed. "Come on. Let's get some food. If we have time and I get your permission, I can go through some of the scrolls in your library and point out jutsu you can play around with in your spare time. How are you coming along with your Chidori variants…?"

o. o. o.

Moon:

"Okay. Let's go over everything we know so far." Naruto sighed as he and the rest of his team sat in a circle in the woods. "The King is dead. That ass noble with the funny name Shamamalama…"

"Shabadaba." Neji corrected.

"Scooby doo, has taken over the castle and is supported by the bulk of the royal forces, which number around 1000 well-armed men, 500 of which are currently holding the castle. That's something we can't easily handle right now…"

Kiba smirked. "That's not what I saw. What the hell was that technique you used back there, Hinata? You took out like 40 of those guys in a second with that ball technique of yours…"

"I don't remember where… but I swear I've seen that technique somewhere before…" Neji frowned as he looked at his cousin skeptically.

"It's called Rasengan… and I learned it through some… special connections." The girl hesitantly replied in an attempt to distract her teammates from remembering that they had just seen it on the big screen a month or so earlier when they watched Naruto rescue the Land of Spring. She tried not to look at Naruto's calm and infuriatingly blank face as well as the temporary look of shock on Sai's. "It's a very difficult ninjutsu that only uses raw special chakra composition and no seals. I only use it when a large amount power in a small area is needed… and even though I used it quickly, it's not something I can do frequently… sorry…"

"Bummer." Kin sighed. "I bet you could take out Naruto with that sucker from how much kick it had…"

"Ignoring the fact that Hinata-chan has another way to cause me great amounts of pain…" Said blonde coughed defiantly, getting people back on track. "… In addition to the huge number of foot soldiers, Alabama…"

"Shabadaba." Kin deadpanned.

"Abra Kadabra…"

"I don't know what you're saying, but that didn't even sound like a name that time…" Neji growled.

"Just leave it alone." Hinata sighed. "It's not like we actually care about the man, and we need to see the humor in something after what just happened…."

"… Has 3 strong shinobi in his pocket as well. From Hinata-chan's diagnostic on the King before he died, he was both poisoned and partially turned to stone, so we can assume that there is at least one poison user and one earth specialist in the group, though it could be the same person if we're really unlucky." He turned to Ino. "Ino, you're the best at analyzing and curing poisons in particular. Did you have a look at the stuff yet?"

The Yamanaka nodded weakly. It was her first time using data from a person that wasn't a test subject or a target… but a person that she would have protected otherwise. The thought of getting something useful from the body of an ally… it was sickening.

She doubted she would have been able to do so well if Anko hadn't give her several twisted pep talks and simulations during their private sessions. "Yeah… but only trace amounts, and it was really fine too, making it even harder to find. It's a temporary compound that dissolves quickly in the bloodstream, so whatever it does is temporary but potent. I could tell it affected the old man's nerves a bit, but like I said, the effects were temporary, so I don't know what they were. I also found trace amounts of the stuff in his lungs, so my guess is that it was inhaled as a gas of some sort. When I asked around, no one mentioned anything about seeing or smelling anything of the like, so it is most likely colorless and odorless…" She looked down. "If I was better at this, I might have been able to find out more about it and possibly tell you what it does, but I can't at my current level… sorry… that was all I could get from the King's sacrifice…"

Kiba patted her on the back. "That's alright. If you weren't here, we wouldn't have learned this much in the first place. You're the best poisons expert in our age group. You've already told us more than enough to prepare ourselves later. Akamaru and I will keep our noses open to see if we can detect the gas, since our sense of smell is stronger than normal human's. "

"Thanks…" Ino smiled weakly.

Sai turned to Hinata. "What about the earth transformation on the King. Can you tell us anything about that?"

The girl's eyes focused as similar emotions that ran through Ino coursed through Hinata. The only difference was that Ino never had Hyūga emotion training. "I've never seen a technique like this before. It was rather easy to reverse with medical ninjutsu… but the transformed tissue was literally stone before I returned it to normal. If the men were not careful in their retreat, they could have easily shattered his arm like a brittle rock…" She frowned. "If that technique spread throughout the entire body, though… I don't know what the results could be, or if I could reverse it or not."

"Scary." Kin muttered. "Being literally turned to stone… I think Orochimaru had a few experiments that went down like that. From what I've heard, it wasn't pretty."

"There would have to be some sort of rule for a technique like that." Neji frowned. "I highly doubt that something that powerful would simply enable him to turn anything he wants to stone. He probably needs to make physical contact with his opponent, or he has a sort of medium. Only part of the King was turned to stone, so we can also determine that it doesn't change the target all at once."

"That's what I was thinking." Naruto nodded. Technically, he knew all of this already after having done this mission in his previous life, but it was good to see his team figure all of this out before even encountering the enemy. "Whoever it is, I think it would be best to fight him from a distance until we figured out more of his abilities. Since this is the only noticeable technique we've heard they have, he probably is the strongest one there…" He sighed before leaning back. "But enough about the enemy. For now, we need to plan our next step. Those guards with Michiru are planning to get him and Hikaru off the island on a small boat to get backup… but honestly, I doubt that things would be that easy."

"An ambush, most likely." Sai commented. "We are on an island, and they are actively looking for us. It wouldn't be odd for them to find us before we make our escape. Plus, they probably already guessed that we would try to escape the island as well, so they would of course be looking for hidden ships off of the coast…"

"… and I did promise the King that I would protect his family." Naruto grinned grimly as he remembered the old man's last moments as the fat man and the boy wept over his dying body. The two had taken it hard, and only after a quick pep talk from Naruto, Hinata and Kiba did Hikaru seem to snap out of his depression a bit. Michiru… not so much. "And everyone knows that I always keep my promises." His smile turned more feral. "Just in different ways than most people expect…"

"An ambush for the ambush party, then?" Neji asked, already guessing what Naruto had planned.

"They don't know that there are 8 of us." Hinata noted. "From what I could tell of the enemy back at the castle, they were strong, but they were individuals we could handle if we plan correctly. There were only 3 of them, after all, and I doubt that they know we know about them, their numbers, or their powers already..."

"And intro strategy." Ino smirked. "The standard tactic for ambushing with a poison user in the group is to set off a wide spreading gas as the first strike." She lectured, already putting herself into her opponent's position. "If their poison really is invisible and odorless, they could even mask it as a simple exploding tag if they use it correctly… then after that, those affected would be easy pickings."

"Which is when that prick with the stone ability would jump in and finish one or two of the targets off before anyone knows what the heck is going on." Kiba frowned. "Reducing the overall morale and making the fighting even more in their favor…"

"How would we deal with the poison?" Neji asked. "If we wear gas masks or filters, they would know what we are doing and change tactics…"

"Leave that to me." Naruto nodded. "Ero-nii's trained me in basic filtering techniques for inhaled gas a while ago. It helps out a lot when it comes to being stuck in dust storms, smoky areas… and places that just smell like crap… but its main use is for filtering poisonous chemicals out of the air you breathe."

"Convenient." Sai mused, adding to the list of things to tell Danzō about the Ōgakari when he got back.

"Well, there goes a third of the ways I was going to get back at you for the mission when we get home." Ino sighed aridly.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." The fellow blonde grunted.

"What about the Prince?" Kiba asked. "We gonna tell him and the guards what's up? I mean, we're just going to use him as bait to lure out the ninja and beat them up…" He paused for a moment. "Then we escape?"

Neji blinked as he understood Kiba's question and turned to Naruto to ask what they would do afterwards… when he saw the smirk on the boy's face grow to disturbing proportions. "You are planning something incredibly risky and dangerous again…" He stated. "I thought we told you to stop doing that. It's not healthy for us…"

o. o. o.

Konoha Park:

"Eeeh?" Several boys and girls shouted in surprise, shock, and disappointment at the old man in front of them.

"Sorry…" Waltz laughed sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "Crypt and I are going to be gone for a while on a little business trip, so we won't be able to play with you for a while…"

"But why?" Hanabi asked, more hurt by the sudden news than the others considering she was extremely close to the giant. "Why do you have to go? Why can't it be someone else?"

"Ah… why indeed…" The Ōgakari mused as he stroked his beard and looked away from the group… mentally crying as once again Scabbard held the old man's significantly large debt above his head. Granted, it was nowhere near as large as the rest of his family's, but it was still large enough to make him whimper every now and then. "Well… let's just say that Crypt and I are just that special and important…" He answered with a childish grin.

"No!" Konohamaru yelled as he latched himself onto the old man's leg. "You promised to train us! Boss has been gone for months, and you're the only one who isn't boring or tries to kill us when he teaches!"

"I don't want to kill you! That's horrifying!" Crypt gasped as his head popped up from the ground. "I just want to know what you taste like! Isn't that right, piña colada ice cream girl?"

Hanabi grew a tick mark. "One. I have no idea what the heck a piña colada is. Two. I don't taste like one. Three. Stop calling me that. Four. You can go for all I care, the old man stays."

Waltz sighed as Crypt immediately began to cry and ask a nearby bird bath for advice before quickly getting into a one sided argument about financial management and losing badly. "It's okay, little ones. I was expecting to get a job that would take me out of town soon enough anyway. My presence in Konoha isn't needed as much since Tsunade-sama arrived to take some of the more strenuous medical cases, and my family is here under mercenary pay, so it's completely normal." He put on a confident grin. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. This large body isn't here simply because I like looking down on people, you know."

Konohamaru nodded. "Yeah! You're really strong! Even boss says you're insanely powerful and is scared of making you mad. He said you beat all the guys that were trying to kidnap Hanabi that he didn't get using only your bare hands without getting a scratch!"

Waltz winced as he remembered that incident. Normally, he made a point of using indirect methods to fight, since fighting with said bare hands tended to make things… _messy_. "Well…" He chuckled as he held out said massive leathery and wrinkled weapons out for all the kids to see. "When you have hands like these… it isn't really something to brag about, is it?"

Several of the children shook their heads hesitantly while the others looked to the side, ashamed they didn't see something so obvious. "So what? I still don't want you to go, and that's final." Hanabi crossed her arms and stood as if that was her closing argument.

The immortal chuckled as he saw how cute the girl was in her attempt to try and keep him around. Luckily though, he was experienced with these kinds of children and knew how to lighten the mood while giving him a bit more negotiation room. "Ah… what am I going to do? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place…" He moaned as he leaned back and put on a wry grin. "I know… How about a deal?" He asked happily as he took out his staff, a large knotted branch of wood that somehow had leaves growing out of the top. "If you can land one hit on me while I sit on this bench, I will have to stay… but if you can't, I do my job and you will have to train hard until I get back. Does that sound fair? I'll only block with my staff, and you can only attack me with taijutsu one at a time. I won't attack you at all…" He smiled. "You can consider it training if you want to…"

With the magic word spoken, Konohamaru flew to the old man with his arm cocked back and yelling his head off… before he ran headfirst into the long end of the old man's staff. "Ow…" He moaned as he fell off, causing many to laugh at him.

"You project your attacks too much." Waltz lectured as if he was talking about the weather. "You are trying to hit me, not finish me off. Make your movements more subtle and quicker…" He twirled his staff in his fingers casually like magicians do with coins as Hanabi bolted forward with her family's technique, blocking each strike with ease. "Ah yes, very good Hanabi." The old man smiled. "Fast… direct… very little wasted movements, and many of your techniques lead yourself into the next. Your father is indeed right to be proud of your progress… however…" Weaving his staff into the girl's guard, he jabbed it into a certain spot between the girl's shins. A second later, Hanabi shifted herself in such a way that she almost perfectly tripped over the old piece of wood and fell flat on her back. "Your stance is too rigid. You need to become more flexible and adaptable in order to deal with unexpected circumstances. Even if a normal shinobi fell for such a mundane tactic as you did, the standard genin would have been able to recover from such a fall with practiced ease…"

And so the next half an hour went with various children trying to hit the old man, only to be stopped as a piece of wood either blocked all their punches and kicks, or wove itself in such a precise manner that the offenders would trip over themselves moments later. Not a single child came close to hitting him.

"That's it!" Konohamaru yelled as he gathered Moegi and Udon behind him. "I don't care if you go or not! I'm getting a hit on you tonight!" Charging forward with his friends, the children split up in an attempt to take the old man from three sides.

"Ah… trying something outside the rules… very good." The old man chuckled lightly, his demeanor changing not in the slightest. "But not good enough…" As fast as the small children thought they were, they were nowhere near as fast as the stick spinning in the immortal's fingers as he deflected every attempt they had to attack him just as easily as he had when he was only facing one at a time. Even when they tried changing their positions, it could do nothing to prevent the man from defending himself easily… which is why the old man smirked as he looked at the undaunted eyes of Konohamaru. "A very good attempt indeed…"

"Got you!" Hanabi yelled as she appeared in the air behind Waltz with one palm already in the process of striking forward, intending to hit his back…

Only to hit nothing instead, as the old man and the bench he was on leaned back 90 degrees, putting the body of her target out of her range and causing her to fly over the grinning man and right into Konohamaru, laying them both out with spirals in their eyes. "What just happened?" The Sarutobi asked in a slurred daze.

"Hey, that's not fair!" An Inuzuka yelled as he registered that he saw the geezer grab the seat of the bench with his free hand, which he had not used at all until then, and flipped himself backwards to dodge the attack with the bench itself in an instant.

"On the contrary. I said I would not move myself from this seat when you fought me." Waltz chuckled. "There was nothing in the rules preventing me from moving the seat itself…" Focusing both his energy to keep the wood fused to his body and his muscles to shift them in the right way, the old man and the bench hopped once more, this time spinning in the middle of the air and landing on its side with the grinning water master comfortably situated in the middle as if it was normal. "In fact, if my wretched memory serves me right… it was you four who broke the rules first… was it not?"

The children looked away guiltily and muttered incoherent things.

"Aww… I wanted a turn…" A familiar immature voice moaned, catching everyone's attention. To the side, Crypt was pouting as if he was half the age of the youngest kid there.

"Oh!" Konohamaru's eyes widened with inspiration. "Yeah! Let Crypt have a turn, old man! If you won't stay, could you at least let him show us some of his moves?"

Waltz laughed nervously and waved his free hand frantically. "Eh… I don't think that's such a good idea…"

"Pleaaaaaase?" The children… and Crypt… begged him, all with puppy dog eyes.

The old man twitched his eyebrow for several moments before sighing as the bench slowly fell to the side and returned to its original position. "Fine…" He relented before glaring at his family member. "But ONLY taijutsu, and you aren't allowed to use your weapon either."

"Yay!" The children… both physically and mentally cheered.

"Now, just to be on the safe side, young ones… you might have to back up a bit." Waltz warned. "We're not being mean… it's just we want you to be safe. Crypt and I don't want you to accidentally get hurt. Okay?" The relenting children nodded before walking a short distance away… "You use your arms… and we will have a problem, brother." The bearer of stone eyes growled to the bearer of blood eyes.

"Of course." Crypt grinned sadistically. "It wouldn't be a challenge otherwise…"

"Is this far enough?" Konohamaru shouted from a small distance away. The kids had for the most part had positioned themselves to the sides of the spar so that they could see the fighting better.

Waltz sighed as his grip on his staff tightened. "Yeah…" Almost instantly, he raised it to defend against an impossibly fast and powerful side kick from Crypt, whose hair was covering his eyes but did nothing to mask the gleeful fanged grin on his face. A small thud could be felt by the children as they realized that the game had already started without them knowing. The next moment was occupied with realizing that Crypt had moved again very quickly, leaning back so his head struck the ground and rotating his body at an awkward angle and lashed out with the other leg at the old man's shins, only to be halted by the narrow tip of the staff. While normally hitting something that narrow with so much power would cause most people to wince in pain or pause for a moment, Crypt seemed to feel nothing as he slammed said foot into the ground and rotated his head with fanged mouth wide open towards his target in an attempt to gouge him.

Waltz didn't blink as he spun the staff to catch the blood manipulator with the other end and launch him into the air. The insane man's airtime was dramatically reduced when he caught the other end of the staff with his free foot just as he was being launched, temporarily stalling him in midair, and positioning him perfectly as he thrust his other foot at the old man's face within the next half a second. Just as he had done with Hanabi though, Waltz once again flipped back on the bench so that his back was on the ground to dodge the attack. He took it a step further though and swung his staff directly behind the airborne man, intent on catching him off guard.

It was not to be, however, as the flexible immortal spun around the wood and altering his path slightly to the side, landing on the ground and immediately pushing off again to smash his free foot into the top of the old man's head. Waltz didn't even look as he flexed his muscles once more in a way that caused him and the bench to bounce out of the way and land on the side, whipping out his staff to block a follow up kick that Crypt had accurately thrown the moment the old man had gotten out of the way…

This all happened in 3 seconds.

The children watching gaped in awe as the two experienced warriors fought their bizarre little contest as fluently as most well-known shinobi could in a normal fight, weaving around one another in their odd positions as naturally as walking. Swinging, spinning, kicking, dodging… they did it all and more within moments, barely giving the other a chance to think but still forced to move in inhumane ways…

"Boss was right…" Konohamaru shivered as he tried to keep up with the display in front of him. "The old man is way stronger than he is…"

"How can they move so naturally?" Hanabi asked herself quietly as she watched the fight with her eyes active. She could see their massive reserves were completely calm. They could be having a casual stroll and she would not be able to tell the difference from the flow in their bodies. To be able to do so when one is only fighting with his legs and head and the other is dragging an entire bench with him fused to his rear end was unheard of…

"Isn't it obvious?" Udon sniffed as he looked at the fighting continue, seeing the bench swing through the air as Waltz held himself up by his free hand and countered Crypt's movements with the one holding his staff and the bench itself. "They're strong. Really strong. Strong enough that something like this is like practice…" He sniffed again. "I wonder what they had to do in order to become like that…"

They were snapped out of their thoughts when a loud thud reached their ears and something large flew across the park and crashed into the lake with a large impact. "Eh…" Waltz sweatdropped as he looked at his smoking staff. "Whoops? Kinda put in a bit too much into that last swing…" In the distance, all the children saw a human shaped body slowly float to the surface of the lake.

Silently, all the kids agreed that perhaps maybe it was best if they didn't find out why the old man was so strong after all…"

o. o. o.

Moon:

"Huh…" The leader of the shinobi hired by Shabadaba smirked as he stood in front of Hinata's squad, Hikaru, and the few loyalist guards. "I should have expected kids to go with such a simple plan…"

"We saw the light from that escape boat practically from the other side of the island." Giggled the only female from the team.

"This should be easy… these brats don't look that tough…" Chuckled the largest man, who looked like he missed the last three or four evolutionary steps between gorillas and humans.

"Oi Ino… you were right." Kiba grunted. "There was poison in that tag. Akamaru got a small whiff of the stuff before the filter kicked in…"

"We're reasonable people… so we'll give you one chance." The man with bright blue eyes stated in the loaded deep tone he had. "Give us the Prince and his kid… and we'll let you go."

"The hell we will!" Kiba bore his fangs as Akamaru growled. Next to him Ino, Sai, and Hinata also made their preparations. "Why should we give into the demands of some cross dressing drag queen troupe?"

"What was that, brat?" The largest of the rogue shinobi roared defiantly.

The leader smirked. "You have spunk… admirable." Within moments, he had closed the distance between the groups in an attempt to catch the shinobi off guard… only for Hinata intercept and parry him, causing him to block with one of his hands and back away lightly before she got another hit in. "Hoh? Not bad. You managed to follow my movements… not bad at all…" He grimaced slightly as he felt the impact of Hinata's strike through his arm. Luckily for him, it was not the one that possessed his special technique. "You also hold a special close ranged technique… pretty good for a kid…"

"You're open!" Grinned the giant as he rushed Kiba with incredibly deceptive speed and nearly plowed the teen into the ground.

"Fast!" Kiba grunted as he tried to put some room between him and the man, only to barely get out of the way of another devastating strike. "Akamaru!"

"Aka-what?" The grinning man cocked his head to the side before he was nailed from behind by said transformed dog spinning like a drill and plowed him into the ground before said drill shot away again and landed next to Kiba.

"Good boy!" Kiba smirked. "Let's see him get up from…" He paused as the giant grunted and picked himself up with seemingly little effort but with a lot of irritation on his face. "I should really stop talking on this mission…" He sighed, ready for round two as he and Akamaru slowly began to channel their energy and bolted towards the man spinning like crazy… one a black drill of immense power, the other a burning twister of immolating fury…

"You should have run away, kid…" Laughed the white haired girl as she and Ino clashed with kunai. "You don't know how deep you are in it right now." She grinned just before her body disappeared in a swirl of sakura petals.

Ino smirked as she looked around for a moment. She didn't even really care that much when she started getting scratched on various parts of her body. "Really? You just had to use sakura petals, didn't you?" The Yamanaka smirked before taking out a large pellet. "You know… I really hate genjutsu users!" She yelled as she threw down the bomb and a large cloud of gas enveloped them both.

"What the hell?" The enemy shouted in surprise as she jumped away from the cloud and began to cough hard. Within moments her vision began to blur and it began to become even more difficult to breathe. "Poison?"

"You're not the only one who knows how to make a person feel sick, you know…" Ino's voice chuckled as several kunai and shuriken flew at the woman from inside the smoke, causing her to dodge wildly, but still getting cut in the process. "You know, my rival uses a fair bit of genjutsu too…" She continued as she walked out of the cloud, clearly not experiencing the side effects as her opponent. She really owed Naruto for his filtering technique. The poison she used just now was one that she would not be able to develop an immunity for a long time. "… and after she handed my ass to me during the Chūnin Exams, I decided to up my training a bit to counter moves just like yours…"

 _'She knew about the poison?'_ The 22 year old woman frantically thought as she attempted to warn her partners, only to find that her seized lungs wouldn't let her get enough air to shout it out. ' _Shit! They expected us to come in the first place!'_

"You're not bad, girl…" Chuckled the leading man as he dodged around Hinata's attacks and stayed out of her reach. "I've heard Konoha has some interesting clans with special abilities…" He glanced to the side momentarily to see Sai taking position in front of Hikaru, then noting that Ino and Kiba were holding their own against his teammates. Quickly dodging to the side to avoid another palm strike, he lashed out with his longer leg and managed to kick the girl a small distance away. "However, little brats like you will have to realize that you aren't the only ones that are special…" He grinned as he lifted up his uninjured arm to reveal the massive glowing eye on the back of his hand, glaring menacingly at his target before slamming it into the ground. Moments later, several large clusters of stone rose from the beach underneath him, elevating him and his new weapons several meters into the sky.

"So he's the one with the special Doton ninjutsu…" Hinata mused as she stood back up and her eyes took in as much as she could. "That hand of his seems cursed or infected with some bizarre type of chakra coming from the eye. It seems he can do more than turn things to stone with it…" Her eyes widened as she saw some of the stones around the man slowly shift themselves to point in certain directions. "Sai! Kiba! Ino! Look out!"

That warning was all the girl could get out before she hastily performed Kaiten in order to protect herself from the stone bullets that were launched in her direction. Off in the distance, Ino and Kiba weren't so lucky, as they were too busy dealing with their own opponents to react in time and were hit pretty hard by the flying bullets. Sai on the other hand managed to rescue Hikaru from the onslaught by dragging the boy underwater… though the ships they were about to use at the time didn't fare as well.

"Damn it!" Kiba hissed as he grabbed his right side where several stones had embedded themselves into him. Nearby, Akamaru winced as he revealed that he wasn't in much better shape.

"You brat…" The giant grunted as he picked himself up, covered in burns and deep scrapes from the Inuzuka's assault. Cracking his neck and fists, he glared at the two with a sadistic grin. "I decided I'm just going to break you before I kill you now…"

"Not good…" Ino winced as she held her bleeding leg and attempted to heal it as quickly as she could. She was only just starting to practice mid-battle healing, and deep wounds were something a bit beyond her classes at the moment. Unfortunately for her, her opponent knew some medical techniques as well, as she saw her hands glow over her chest as her breathing became more stable. "Damn… she actually knows a technique that can increase her poison immunity and recovery time…" Even if she did heal her leg quickly enough, their fight would merely return to its original state, except now situation would be against her, as her opponent could use her illusions without worrying about her poison bomb. She didn't have another one with that potency and size in stock, and her opponent would more than likely cut her off before she could use another smaller bomb…

"Ishidate!" Her opponent yelled, having gained control over her voice again. "These brats knew about the poison! That's why they aren't affected by it! They must have been expecting us in the first place!"

The user of stone ninjutsu snorted for a moment before launching a large stone close to Hinata, causing her to jump away, only to cut her off himself with his deceptively high speed and grab onto her arm. "So?" He smirked as slowly her arm began to turn to stone right in front of her shocked eyes. "It doesn't matter much… we're still better than they are. The poison only made things easier. We're still in control here…"

"I wonder about that…" A new and immensely irritated voice stated calmly behind the man, shocking him enough to let go of his target and opening him enough that the assailant managed to poke him several times in the back before he managed to get away. Glaring at his new opponent, the leader clicked his teeth as he saw that it was virtually a carbon copy of the girl he was fighting earlier, only slightly older and a boy.

"Backup?" Ishidate grunted before realizing what the newcomer's appearance might mean and looked over to his partners.

The white haired girl hissed in pain as she flew a small distance across the sand before skidding to a halt. "What the hell?" She moaned as she picked herself up and glared at where she had been, which was right in front of the blonde girl and just about to stab her from behind. Right next to there was a girl with long black hair cracking her knuckles casually before reaching back into her pouch for several senbon…

An explosion at yet another part of the beach caught many people's attention as the tallest fighter there jumped away from his prey with a grimace on his face. "What the hell is going on?" He muttered as a boy with a bowl cut hairstyle and spandex outfit stood in front of his recent opponents.

"Another team?" Ishidate cursed as he looked back at where the Prince was. The original plan had been to capture the fat man with the local forces and kill the shinobi and the boy as a second task…

But even that plan failed as the men tasked with the job had been taken out by the few militia that were still loyal to the king and an overconfident blonde shinobi smirking at him and crossing his arms.

"How's your arm?" Neji asked without turning away from his opponent.

Hinata sighed before flaring her chakra a bit and to the surprise of many, blasting a layer of stone off of her arm and returning it to normal. "I channeled enough chakra through my body that the transformation process was limited to my outermost layer of skin. It would have been difficult if the technique was more absolute or if it had extended more, but as it stands, I can easily keep on fighting…"

"I hope you don't get pissed at me." Kin smirked as she threw her senbon by the dozens at her exhausted opponent, many with bells and many without. She watched as the woman dodged haphazardly, not moving that much to conserve her energy but still managing to dodge everything. "You looked like you were in a jam and everyone else was moving too. I didn't want to feel left out."

"Don't be." Ino laughed as she continued to heal her leg. "If I pushed it too much, even if I won, I'd be in too crappy of a state to enjoy our down time here once things calmed down. If anything, I owe you." She took in a deep breath. "So you saw everything?"

"Yep. Little brats like her shouldn't be wearing so much god awful makeup and perfume." Kin sighed. "It ruins a woman's natural beauty…"

"Brat?" The white haired woman growled as she attempted to move at faster speeds again. "I'm 22!"

The senbon user paused before snorting, channeling her chakra into the bells she had thrown earlier. "Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that kid…" The ringing of bells echoed around her opponent. "Magen: Akumu Yousei no Koukyoukyouku (Demonic Illusion: Symphony of the Nightmare Sprite)..." Within moments, the world around the woman darkened and warped as dozens of black fluttering wings surrounded the girl as if representing the chiming of the small bells around her.

"Tch. Genjutsu? Really?" The woman grunted as she began to gather her chakra and release herself… when one of the flying pixies dove straight at her and embedded itself in her leg distracting her and making her wince in pain. "What the hell?" She hissed as she noticed the illusion becoming even clearer as the world transformed even more and the dark wings of the creatures around her became more distinct… before another pixie dove at her and embedded itself in her back, once again making the illusion even more distinct. "How is this getting even stronger every time I get hit with these things?" She frantically whispered as the ringing increased in intensity and the distorted animals flew faster. Three… four… five more times she was struck with the malevolent little bastards, and each time their bodies became clearer and darker… until she was paralyzed with fear as thousands of grotesque and demonic little imps surrounded her hungrily… and within a moment, they had all decided to stop playing with their petrified target and dove in for a feast. The woman shrieked in fear and pain before blacking out due to the trauma and pain of the experience.

Back in the real world, Ino and Kin watched as their target finally succumbed to the technique, several senbon with bells sticking out of parts of her body where the first few 'imps' had assaulted her, enforcing and enhancing the illusion several times over with each bell directly embedded into her body. "Honestly." Ino sighed with a dark chuckle as she shook her head. "Genjutsu users are scary and annoying as hell…"

"Man, this sucks, doesn't it buddy?" Kiba smirked as he limped to Akamaru. "We finally get into a good fight, and that prick of a boss of theirs has to ruin it before we can finish the bastard off…" He shook his head and looked at his rescuer. "Oi Lee! The bastard can take a hell of a beating and he's fast to boot! Go all the way if you want to keep him down! Make it flashy for us, pal!"

"Understood!" The taijutsu expert nodded as he rapidly assessed the condition of his opponent and his teammate. Making a quick decision to follow Kiba's advice, the teen rapidly opened the first three gates, instantly turning his skin red and creating an aura of power around him. During his battle against the masked creature Kakuzu had produced weeks before, he had left nothing to chance and unleashed all 5 of his gates to ensure that he had enough power and speed to destroy the monster… but the man in front of him was no S-class criminal or even a beast created by one. He was simply an exceptionally strong and fast man even by shinobi standards… that was all. 3 gates was more than enough to ensure victory… and with his recent training and conditioning, it would not take much longer than a day or two to fully recover from its use so long as he didn't push it too much…

Before the large man could even realize the fact that he was in extreme trouble, Lee had practically warped right inside of his guard with an elbow deeply embedded into his stomach. Words and breath left the man as his body froze for a moment before the impact seemed to be acknowledged by the world and he flew away parallel to the earth at incredible speed… only to be halted painfully by a devastating kick Lee had delivered from the direction he was flying in the first place, launching him high into the air. "Wh-at?" He spat out in confusion, shock and pain as what was left of his processing mind tried to comprehend how this odd looking kid in front of him was kicking his ass so thoroughly that he might as well have been the child in the fight. Sure, the dog brat and his mutt had done some damage to his body and were a bit of a challenge, but this was absurd!

This mental argument was also destroyed as Lee appeared right behind him and grabbed him tight with one arm. "I apologize for this… however, what you have done to this country… to Hikaru… and to my friends is beyond forgiveness…" Lee muttered as he slammed his other fist into the man's back and disappearing, only to attack from another angle and repeat the process. After a few seconds of relentlessly assaulting the man, Lee decided to finish him off by launching him up before appearing before him once again with an arm and a leg reared back. "Reverse Lotus!" He shouted as he slammed both limbs into the giant and sending him crashing into the ground so fast that he broke the sound barrier and kicked up a small storm of sand.

He did not get up again.

"Man…" Kiba chuckled as his savior landed near him. "You're a weird dude, Lee. But damn it to hell, if it meant I could do shit like that, I'd dress up like you in a heartbeat."

Lee grinned with shining teeth and held up a thumb in victory.

"This has gotten annoying…" Ishidate grunted as he struggled to deal with the two prodigious Hyūga at the same time and barely managed to stay alive in the process. His taijutsu was on a very high level, yes, but even so, it was not meant to deal with users of Jūken, especially users such as Hinata and Neji. In addition to that, his ranged techniques required a small amount of time to focus and prepare, something neither of the teens would allow him to have. Add in the fact that his teammates had all but died and he was in a rather bad situation with an 8 on 1 battle. His only shot at ensuring that the Prince died soon now was to retreat and get the full force of Shabadaba's guard behind him, or make a quick run at the fat man and hope that brat is one of the weaker members of the group… judging how badly his teammates were defeated just now and how confidently the brat had been smirking, he doubted the blonde was as weak as he hoped he was. The problem was that he couldn't get away in his current situation. "Stupid brats…"

"Cross dressing old man…" Hinata countered as she blasted a Heaven Bullet nearly point blank at her opponent, launching him back with a small explosion where Neji was in position and in a very familiar stance. Unfortunately for Neji, Ishidate was quick to recover and focused his special hand on the ground again, forcing another salvo of massive boulders to shoot up from the ground and knock the boy back.

"You brats are better than I thought." The red haired man smirked as he landed on the largest of the rocks. It was difficult to control his chakra now after all those attacks the two white eyed teens landed on him… this was probably the last he could do in his current situation. He had to make it count. "You managed to catch us off guard and take out my teammates. A shame. However, I came here to do a job… and since it looks like I won't be able to do it in this current situation… I'll take my leave…" Using his chakra to throw the huge boulders at the children, the man jumped in the opposite direction, high into the air and out of the range of his pursuers…

Or so he thought, as his body stopped in midair…

" **Sorry, old man…"** Chuckled a light but confident voice in the air. **"But just like you have pretty good control of the earth… the sky is mine…"** The menacing voice laughed lightly again. **"I believe it's rude to leave your guests so suddenly… so go back and apologize."**

Ishidate looked down to where he felt the voice was coming from and shivered subconsciously as he looked into the glowing eyes of the blonde boy with the Prince making a grabbing motion to him as if he was holding his person up. "What kind of monster are you?" He whispered at the grinning boy with long teeth.

" **The kind that isn't a prick who kills kids."** The boy's disembodied voice echoed. Naruto looked at the depressed Michiru. "Watch carefully, Michiru-dono. This is the man whose hands killed your father, who you and your son and the men here loved dearly. He did so for money or power… for greed and his own personal reasons… much like the reasons why he was about to kill you and your son and most likely countless others had he been free to do so." He paused. "We will end him not because he killed your father… but because he will continue to do such immoral things in the future without remorse for a few extra ryō… and that's something I just don't have the stomach for." Without even bothering to see the fat man's shadowed eyes look up to watch, the levitating man and the teen's arm flew downward towards the two Hyūga. "Special delivery!" Naruto shouted with a bit of dark humor as the cousins nodded and jumped to either side of where the man would land.

"Shit!" The man swore as he attempted to use his cursed hand again and create a barrier that would protect him from whatever the two white eye wielders were going to hit him with. He managed to get a few crude boulders sticking out of the ground on either side of his landing point, but it would be nowhere near enough to protect him from what happened next.

"KAITEN!" The cousins roared as they spun in the same direction, causing the point where the domes they created to spin in opposite directions, coincidentally being were Ishidate just landed. The makeshift barrier did nothing to protect the doomed man as he was ground to a paste between the violently spinning chakra domes, their howling drowning out the man's final screams of pain and agony.

Hikaru shuddered as he saw the scary man disappear in red chunks from a distance as he attempted to dry himself off on the boat. It wasn't really that he had seen ninja kill before. He had been at the sword master tournament and the movie premiere in the Land of Spring before, but this was the first time he had seen the ninja that had been guarding him for several months actually go nuts with their abilities… and it unnerved him to see these guys who were only a little bit older than he was do such incredible and violent things without hesitation.

Neji remained quiet for a bit as he walked to what was left of their opponent and found one of the largest pieces remaining… the man's left arm, which coincidentally held the bizarre cursed eye closed and embedded into the back of the hand. Wordlessly, he took out a scroll and sealed the body part inside. No doubt several researchers back home would be interested in studying it, and they might get an additional reward as well. In the meantime, he would try to maintain his composure. He would have time to come to terms with the fact that he helped literally shred a man to pieces later. He could only imagine what his cousin was going through…

"You all right?" Naruto asked Hinata as he slowly approached her. Normally, he wouldn't ask her something like that after beating an enemy, but the execution of this one was rather… violent compared to what she normally experienced so it was understandable.

"Y-yeah…" Hinata mumbled as she sat down and grabbed onto his hand. "Just give me a few minutes to get myself together…"

"Damages?" Naruto turned to Kin, who was helping Ino to where he was.

"I got cut up a bit, but other than this deep gash to my leg, I have nothing serious." Ino reported. "Kin's untouched, Kiba and Akamaru also might need a bit of attention since they got hit harder than I did by those rocks, and Lee opened 3 gates, so he's gonna be out of things for a couple of days. Sai's pretty much untouched as far as I can tell."

The jinchūriki nodded. "Can you still perform the duties I suggested earlier?"

The Yamanaka smirked. "Please."

Naruto grinned at the two girls. "Good. You two and Neji go take care of your prisoner. I'll expect you to get me what I want to know soon." The three shinobi nodded before moving towards the only enemy who was still alive at the moment. "Hinata-chan, once you've recovered, do you think you can handle healing Lee and Kiba?" He glanced to where the two boys were limping to them, being helped out by Sai and Hikaru. Akamaru was in the arms of his owner. "They're in pretty rough shape…"

The girl took in a deep breath to calm herself, squeezing the boy's hand a bit harder for a moment before relaxing again. "I'll see what I can do." She stated in a calmer tone before getting up and walking to her teammates.

"How… how did you know that he had killed children before for money?" The Prince asked in a near dead tone as he walked up slowly to the blonde.

"Michiru-dono…" Naruto stated emotionlessly as he turned back to the Prince, who was looking silently at the blood stained ground where Ishidate died. "… They were too calm … no, it was more like they were completely at ease with what they were doing. If they were calm, there would at least be some kind of tension in their body language, in the air around them. Even experienced killers who have some morals about going after innocents yet still take such jobs would have some kind of stiffness to them… these guys didn't feel anything. They wouldn't be like that unless killing a child didn't bother them at all." He paused for a moment. "About the plan I told you earlier…"

"I'll do it…" He mumbled somberly without looking at the boy.

"Are you sure?" The blonde asked. Normally, he wouldn't question a person if they were willing to go with his plans, he'd just throw them into the fire and trust that they could do it… but then again, most of the people he got to do his plans were shinobi or were undergoing shinobi training, not overweight civilian men. "This could be very dangerous for you if things go wrong…"

"I want to find some things out for myself…" The Prince turned to the jinchūriki with unyielding eyes. "My father a few hours ago died in front of me and my son… and just now the man who did the deed died thanks to you…" He closed his eyes. "I've heard from the caravan that you and your friends have been working hard to protect us throughout the trip… and that very scary people have shown up occasionally, but I've done nothing at all…" He sighed. "It was like the same with Papa… he was a very kind man who trusted people. Everyone loved him… but occasionally, the people he was close to would talk like it was a shame that I wasn't more like him. I spent money… I got beautiful things… I studied hard as a kid to take over when papa died, but I always assumed that I would be more like him when it finally happened… but they still claimed that I didn't have the thing that papa had." A tear fell from his eye. "I guess that's the reason why Amayo left me…" He sniffed before frowning. "If I go with your plan… I might find out what I need to become more like him…"

Naruto sighed. ' _Idiot. You already have it. You just have no clue that it's there…'_ "Fine. Just make sure not to screw up, okay? One slip up and we'll be screwed, and Hikaru will be an orphan." A slow nod from the Prince was all he needed. "Good. As soon as everyone is ready and healed a bit…" A dangerous grin appeared on the boy's face. "… We'll start part 2…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Another 2 weeks. Another chapter… and at the moment I am trying my hardest in trying to figure out a way to get Madara to use the 6 paths thing on 6 badass dead guys each with a Sharingan and a Rinnegan. I saw that shit in the latest chapter and I kid you not, my jaw dropped and I squee'd like a small child like Christmas came early. Kishimoto may be a lot of things, but that pull right there came out of nowhere and redeemed himself in A LOT of people's eyes.

So a couple of days ago, we finally got our first "answer" to my "blue mystic eyes of death" challenge that I made up a way's back and I have to say it looks very promising. The story's called "Shinigan" by alethiophile and for a first story the style the guy has is not bad at all. Give it a read and give it even more reviews because like I said it looks like it has a fair amount of potential in it.

For anyone who's going to connecticon in a couple of weeks, try and point me out. It will be the first con in a while for me and I'm psyched to check it out. I'll be there with my buddy from high school, a tall fat Chinese guy who will most likely buy a fair number of limited edition stuff by the end of the first day, and my sister who I believe is cosplaying this time in a blue haired vocaloid that is very well done… though I don't cosplay, so I can't tell that much. As for me… slightly above average height, slightly more in shape than the average con attendee, glasses, short brown hair, tshirt, long pants, sarcastic and quiet attitude… and most likely found at the magic the gathering table area. God, I love that game. I'll be there all 3 days, and I'll also be checking out a few fanfic panels, hopefully the teamfourstar panel if it isn't jam packed before I can make it, and the hentai panels… though the latter of which I'll be doing because they just make me laugh a lot. Watching ad-libbed cartoon pornos (done correctly, of course) has to be one of the funniest things a person can do at a con, and I am seriously not making it up.

Other than that I got nothing else off the top of my head other than the standard, look at the tv tropes, forums, and make art in your spare time if you want to please stuff.

So Review! Worship the log! Thank god that I don't cosplay because I would look silly! And Review again!


	68. Weird stuff.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 68: Weird stuff.

o. o. o.

Mooooooon:

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Kin asked Naruto as the group quickly got ready for the blonde's plan to retake the country. "The plan itself is sketchy already, but can we really rely on the Prince to keep quiet? We can easily take advantage of the situation the moment…"

"No." Naruto shook his head as he went over the data the captured shinobi had… _given_ them less than 20 minutes earlier. The combined wrath of Ino, Kin and Neji had been more than enough to get what he needed and more. "If we did that, sure, things would be easier for the moment… but the Prince wouldn't grow at all. If this goes perfectly and he gets closure and grows up a bit, the relationship between our countries can grow significantly in a short amount of time, enabling Moon to not only provide us with better jobs, but increase the chances of the country stabilizing long-term. Leaving the country in the hands of a man that is absolutely lost with himself is just as bad as leaving it in the hands of a tyrant, especially when the country in question is as rich in resources as this one. A single major flaw exposed could spark more crap than this simple coup ever would."

Kin blinked for a moment before shaking her head and sighing. "You know, you scare me when you start talking like that…" She sorted through the equipment the group had lifted from the local militia. "Man, I hate going through freshly worn armor. It always smells like shit!"

Kiba snorted from a short ways away. "You've gone through other guy's armor before? Another mission back from your time in Oto?"

The girl glared at the Inuzuka. "Yeah, assassination and infiltration missions. It's because I've done them that I… know… there it is…" She smirked as she took out a badge from one of lifted pouches. "Here. These guys have identification badges to flash to one another. It's a precaution they take in case a shinobi transforms to look like one of them and sneak into high security areas."

"Interesting…" Neji mused as he sorted through another pouch and took out another badge. "Simple and crude… but otherwise very efficient, so long as we don't know their system and have one of their badges…" He glanced at the picture and snorted. "… Though I doubt anyone has the motivation to impersonate a man who took their identification picture half drunk and with lipstick over half their neck… so unprofessional."

"Neji, remind me to tell you about the time I was forced to retake my picture because I decided it would be cool to look like a painted kabuki warrior." The blonde chuckled.

"Hey guys." Ino sighed as she walked over to the three with a very slight limp, indicating that Hinata was done healing her. "I'm ready to go when you are."

"What about Lee?" Kiba asked, noting about the last person in their group that needed some healing.

"Hinata said that he'd be able to move with the rest of us in about half an hour. By then, the plan should have only just started." Ino responded before lowering her gaze. "She isn't been… in the most talkative moods right now…" She shook her head. "Regardless, she, Sai, Kiba and Lee will have Hikaru and the rest of the guardsmen covered. They'll keep them moving and keep an eye on the prisoner, who I drugged as soon as she finished answering our questions, while you do your thing."

Naruto sighed, knowing what was eating at Hinata, as did everyone else, but he also knew that time was of the essence and that addressing the girl's stress would thus have to take place later. "All right. I was hoping that we would have less wounded than we do, but at least it isn't nearly as bad as it could be. A few people had to be switched around, but this should work just as well…" He turned to the horses from the captured guardsmen, grazing by the forest. Near them, sitting on a log and gazing blankly out to sea next to his son, Michiru sat with eyes that seemingly did not belong on his large, fat, and flamboyantly dressed body.

They were the eyes of a very tired man who was about to do something that would truly make or break him… and he didn't care which, so long as it happened. It was a very dangerous mindset to have, but considering the situation, it could be for the best, considering that it most likely meant that he wouldn't talk about unnecessary things much…

"Michiru. We're ready." The blonde called out as he got up and walked to the man. The Prince didn't say anything as he glanced at the blonde for a few seconds before nodding and hugging his son tightly.

"Be safe, Hikaru. Don't worry, I'll see you soon." The Prince whispered to the boy before he got up and walked to where Naruto was waiting…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Sitting in the living room of the Ōgakari compound, Tsume narrowed her eyes at the casual looking Ghost sitting a few meters away from her. "I think we know what has to be done first…" The woman stated in a calm but direct tone. "… I can do it in 5 seconds…"

The long haired immortal sighed and straightened himself up. "Please. Allow me." He responded in a pleasant tone before turning around and looking to where Hana and Anko were trying to hide around a corner and spy on the two. He didn't say anything, but instead smiled and tilted his head in a manner that would have most women instantly fall in love with him…

Instead, the two women instantly bolted out of the house so quickly that they wouldn't be able to reproduce it with a shunshin for several months yet.

"That was… terrifying…" The leader of the Inuzuka shivered as the man returned to normal and sunk back into the couch he was lounging in.

"Please, you'd bolt too if you knew what any of us smiling like that meant." Ghost snorted before his demeanor calmed down a bit. "So I must ask… why have you decided to come visit me?" He asked in a smooth, relaxed, curious and businesslike manner. "Your presence… isn't exactly the most desired among us still, and I highly doubt that you're unaware of that."

The mother let out a deep sigh before deciding to start the conversation. Indeed, she had a lot of questions for the man her daughter was going out with, but for a good while she'd avoided asking, both because she didn't have a good reason to visit the compound herself and because she knew that in a way, she wasn't truly welcomed at the compound. "You don't have to remind me of that…" She mumbled. "It's not the first time my mouth has earned me some enemies or stabbed me in the ass…" Images of her husband flashed in her mind before she cleared it again. "I guess the first place to start is to ask how Hana has been doing lately. She doesn't ask for help with clan techniques much anymore… instead, she just comes over here or goes out with Anko to train. Considering the fact that several events are coming soon, I wanted your input since you seem to be the one most responsible for her progress lately… she's been keeping her progress a secret from everyone, and I just want to know how she stands."

The blind man raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "Oh? Why wouldn't you ask Anko about something like that?"

"I said it's a good starting point." Tsume grunted. "Stop beating around the bush here, you know as well as I do that it took a bunch of preparation time to man up and actually come here myself… and don't you dare make a comment on that 'man up' comment if you know what's good for you…"

Ghost tried to hold back a laugh and got as far as snorting a bit. "Wouldn't dream of it…" He managed to get out before managing to get his breathing under control. "Both Hana and Anko have progressed phenomenally. In raw power and technique, they are both easily capable of qualifying for jōnin. I've been going over scenario training with them whenever I haven't been helping out with their jutsu and that has been going quite well too. As for summoning…" He smirked… "Well, I'm just going to keep that a surprise for now… no doubt Hana would want to break the news to you herself." ' _Mental note… get the wolf summons to keep quiet that I'm old as shit when talking to other Inuzuka and their hounds…'_ The immortal reminded himself as he remembered Asena's initial comments and impression of him. ' _Castration by rusty kunai usually works… especially when I mention I don't change my means even for the larger animals… gotta find the pictures that prove I can first just in case they call my bluff…'_

"I'll try not to imagine what other sort of training you've devised for those two…" The woman deadpanned as the immortal began to chuckle evilly and rub his hands together before her demeanor focused. "But I wasn't talking about the Jōnin trials… I was talking about that group Akatsuki you've been warning us for a while. They're the next big threat, right?"

The immortal paused for a moment before returning to his calm demeanor that hid countless secrets just under its surface. It was one of the things about the Ōgakari that most shinobi didn't like about them. All of them, even Crypt at times, exerted this feeling that they were aware of and a part of far, FAR too many things. Most high ranked shinobi would of course be privy to a good number of secrets, but other than a casual remark here or there, they always hid the fact that they even knew secrets well. The Ōgakari though always made sure to make it feel as if what they knew was just out of arm's reach of everyone there and dangle it waiting for some unfortunate sap to bite.

"Ah… now that is indeed a good question…" He mused. "Of course, there would be battle conditions to consider and what strategies each group used…" He tallied the marks in his mind and clicked his fingers in a calculating way. "Alone… in 1 on 1 matches, I'm afraid that no matter who they would face against, they would lose against pretty much every member… and even if they were informed and prepared, it would only gain them a slight favor such that they had the overall advantage against 2 or 3 of the members… granted, their odds aren't 0 for the bad matchups… but they are ones that even Tsunade would not take piss drunk."

The mother grimaced. Her daughter's Hound of the Earth technique was something that she had never seen an Inuzuka match before. Its combined power, speed, and flexibility were unparalleled in her eyes… but for the man who was considered the ultimate wild card in Konoha to bluntly say that her odds even with such a technique under her belt were so low… it made her realize how much of an uphill battle this fight really was. "I… see…" She grunted. "… You weren't joking then when you stressed how dangerous these guys were…" She looked at him calmly. "If that's the case… then how are we supposed to even those odds?"

"Other than the fact that we already have the numerical advantage? Train, do missions, and get experience, and gather more intel. The standard steps…" The man picked his nose.

"And how would YOU even those odds?" The woman's eyes narrowed. "Surely you are interested in protecting the village you live in and those who have your interests…"

The immortal smirked. "Ah… but that is where you are slightly misguided, Tsume. You see… despite our contract to Konoha… we are still just business guests here and only informed you of this enemy because it is in our best interests…" The light in the room reflected off of his glasses. "This is not my clan's fight, Tsume. This is Konoha's. This is Kumo's. This is the entire shinobi world's fight… but it is not ours. Should those two be in danger, I would not hesitate to aid them and ensure their safety… but I would not under any circumstance fight any of these foes with the intent to simply put them down, and neither does any member of my family. We are just the guys in the background, organizing and training the pieces we find significant or valuable enough to warrant our interest to make sure that the side we want to win does. That is how things will stay. Yes, my apprentice's life is at stake. Yes, Hana's and Anko's lives are at stake as well, and I do care for all of them more than you can possibly imagine a twisted little man like me could… however, our blades are not the ones that will reap the enemy's flying bodies. Nothing would come out of everyone's efforts if we simply gave everyone an easy way out."

There it was again. The other side of Ghost Ōgakari that Tsume had only seen once before. Significantly colder and there was little humor in his voice, but not a sliver of that unwavering confidence was missing. Every statement he spoke had a finality to it… yet at the same time, the way he said it gave the impression that said finality was there only because he allowed it. Swallowing heavily, she chose her next words carefully. "Then what do you wish to come out of this war that has yet to happen?"

"Ah, that is a question that I'll leave unanswered for the moment." The man mused. "It wouldn't do to inform you of how a story ends, now would it?"

She frowned. "Pieces, story… you're talking about our lives as if it were some sort of sick game…"

"Isn't it though?" Ghost asked curiously. "The governments of the shinobi populace are led by and based off of shinobi, who heavily influence the rest of the world. People born and bred to kill, steal, lie, spy and use others. Clans and parents raise their children specifically for a profession that will more than likely land them in an early grave and consider it an honor. If an existence based completely on that idea isn't a joke in itself… then how is a person not to assume that the way they manage their lives can be one sick game as well? Choose the right door. Assault the right castle. Lie to the right spies. Kidnap the right princess. Steal the right documents…" He started listing events casually off of his fingers. "As you level up to the highest ranks, you either die or submerse yourself in a world of deception and backstabbing in order to fulfill your own goals and reach a point that you can never return from. The games you play then are just as bizarre and sick as your story should you continue… as are the results. Assault the demon container right as she's giving birth… twist the noble and powerful family into self-destructing… manipulate the leader of a certain village into killing certain families that could pose problems for him later down the road… create an organization and control it from the shadows…" He looked at Tsume with a dry smile. "We're not the only ones playing the role of a puppet master… in fact… we are quite late into it. According to our information network, this game has been going on for quite some time, Tsume."

The woman shivered as she realized what Ghost was telling her. He… no… his clan was playing a game of shadows against someone or something that had already been doing so long before they arrived. "Why…" She licked her lips. "Why do you help us then? If this has nothing to do with you… why put in so much effort?"

"Multiple reasons. Some complicated, others childishly simple." The blind man responded. "I guess one of the simple ones is that even though he has not done anything to my family directly or indirectly… the other puppet master in this game is someone my clan just doesn't like, so we will simply play his game and beat him without even fighting him ourselves." His demonic grin appeared. "Another simple reason is just that we enjoy playing overconfident fools like him like small toys. They always make interesting shows at the end… just before they break." There was a brief pause as the two looked at one another. One seemingly looking down on the other. The other, looking at the original in bewilderment. "Now then, if we can get back to your original questions…" The tension in the air immediately dropped as one of the proclaimed manipulator of the shinobi nations completely dropped his aura and gave the impression of a childish idiot. "I'm planning on training Hana and Anko later today and afterwards have some amazing sexy sex-sex time."

Tsume gaped for a moment before face palming. The coin had flipped again and the commanding individual had once more disappeared behind the unreadable random idiot who said the first thing that came to his head. Either the man had a split personality or had some mental disorder… because both faces of him were too 'real' to simply be a mask of some sort. She took the sudden change as a blatant hint that regardless of her desires, that was as far as she was going to get in that particular line of conversation. "You know, most boyfriends wouldn't tell the mother of their girlfriends this… especially if they are going to do so in a threesome with another woman…"

"And?" The immortal tilted his head to the side curiously.

The woman sighed. "Never mind." She began to rub her forehead. "Actually… no… it's somewhat part of what I wanted to ask you next…"

"No, I'm not giving you advice on how to pick up men and what they prefer during a threesome." The immortal put on a sickened expression, his tongue hanging out and his face turning green.

"NOT THAT, YOU FREAK!" The mother roared with fire in her eyes before she sat down again. "I mean what are your real intentions for my daughter and Anko. She claims that you are willing to marry her and Anko with some random scheme to put yourself under a modified CRA so it's only those two…" She looked at him coldly. "Is this some sort of sick fantasy of yours that you are going to abuse… or do you truly care that much for both of them that you are willing to try and adjust the village's rules in order to stay with both of them?"

"Man… you're still going on about this…" He sighed before shaking his head. "Tsume… I've slept with a lot of women… most of them one night stands, and thankfully never caught anything in the process…" ' _One of the few horrible things that has yet to happen to me for some reason despite the fact that the fates hate me…'_ He wept with gratitude and shame on the inside. "Only with a few of them have I actually developed relationships… and the last one…" The air around them darkened, causing the mother to shiver. "… It… ended in such a way that I'm fairly certain I'll be emotionally scarred for life…" He let a slow breath out.

"Anko and Hana… I don't know why… but I'm happier than I've been in a long time when I'm with them." His expression softened. "Too long…" He mumbled. "Choosing between the two would just make things strained between us, and I don't think I could handle abandoning either one of them." He put on a sarcastic smirk.

"You know, believe it or not… this is the first time I've actually ever been in this situation before. I know of guys who have… hell, most of them have actually been stuck with like… half a dozen beauties at once for one reason or another, and let me tell you, after seeing the results first hand, it's not something I would go with right off the bat… poor Minato… poor Tenshi…" He shook his head as he went through the lists of fellow males who suffered due to too many potential female spouses. The sad thing was that most of the women related to said spouses were in many ways scarier than the ones he was with now. "But yeah… somehow this happened." He sighed. "And I intend to make it work the best way I can…"

"By acting like an idiot while subtly making people jump through loops until everything falls into place?" Tsume grunted.

"Hey. We're in a ninja village. When in Rome." He grinned in an almost sarcastic way.

"And when, dare I ask, would you ask my daughter and Anko said big question?" The woman asked halfway between curiosity and irritation.

Despite being such an important question, the man simply shrugged. "No clue. Definitely after I get back from training the blonde gnome in a few years…" He put on a thoughtful look. "Maybe just before the last fighting starts… nah, bad luck to make plans for after a battle…"

"You're leaving the village?" The woman blinked in surprise. "And you're only taking Naruto with you?"

"Well, I decided that if I'm going to make the kid an absolute monster on the battlefield, I should take him to a few places where he'd have to be one to live." The man responded casually. "A few mercenary places that I'm familiar with. A few clubs where I'm drinking buddies with the higher ups… a few countries where I'm the highest bounty…" He stuck a thumb up and grinned in a Gai like manner. "It will be a true male bonding experience!"

"Of that I have no doubt." Tsume deadpanned. "Just try not to kill the kid… he's kind of important to us, you know."

"Heheheh… yeah… try…" The immature man giggled evilly, no doubt planning on exactly how to break the child down utterly.

"That being said… there's one last thing I want to ask you about." The woman frowned. "You said that you have people after your head… enemies and such. Does allowing Hana to marry you put her in severe amounts of danger?"

To her confusion, the erratic aura around the man intensified and calmed at the same time. "Ah… another interesting question." He chuckled. "I will not lie… I have a fair number of very influential and powerful individuals after me…" He mused. "However, they all know to be very careful as well… because you see, Tsume,they, unlike Konoha, know how exceptionally dangerous I truly am." At that moment it felt to the woman as if time had stood still, and the only one who could resist the phenomenon was the smirking man in front of her. "Everyone knows that it is impossible… to stop nothing from happening…"

From upstairs, Shadow and Zuzushi, who were listening to the conversation from the second floor, shivered and glanced at one another warily… the idea of anyone from their previous travels actually gunning for Hana and Anko actually pissed him off to such a degree that he would end up speaking THAT way…

… It was the only indication that Ghost would show that he was resolved to use his fire on others without remorse… when he lived up to the title he despised almost as much as the cursed flames that it came with…

o. o. o.

Moon:

"Where's Ishidate?" Shabadaba grunted as the three soldiers in front of him dumped Michiru and the unconscious Ino, her hands and legs tied in front of her body, in front of him unceremoniously.

"There was another team of shinobi protecting the Prince." One of them grunted as he stood straight up. "We managed to capture the Prince… however, the additional team of shinobi eventually weakened his group. Ishidate-sama's team managed to take down most of them and weakened the others, but the remaining forces managed after a few of them managed to kill his group off with some bizarre techniques and escape with the son. Luckily, we managed to capture this one before she got away too…" He kicked the girl's body hard, yet there was no reaction from her. "She was already exhausted from the battle. I'm guessing that she'll be out of things for a while…"

"Humph." The noble snorted, not paying attention to the twitching soldier that had entered the room. "Keep an eye on her for now. We can use her as leverage when those ninja brats come to rescue her later." He turned to Michiru and smirked. "So it didn't take long to get your fat ass here, did it Michiru-dono. Why the long face? I thought someone as spoiled as you would at least look the part of a happy buffoon…"

"Why…" The large man mumbled before looking up. "Why did you kill papa? Why are you doing these horrible things?"

The mustached man snorted before turning around and walking to a bowl of fruit. Because of his flamboyant movement, neither he nor the guards in the room noticed the twitching guard finally release his irritation, nor the eyebrow twitch on Ino's face… "You see this food?" He bit angrily into an apple. "You see these carpets? Your little trinkets that you brought back from your travels? Do you think that all the funds that got these things came from _nowhere_?!" He threw the rest of the big red fruit at the fat man, breaking it on his head.

"This world revolves around money! The ninja kill for money! People work for money! Wars are fueled and fought for money! This country is one of the wealthiest in all of the Elemental Nations! The one who controls this place is one of the most powerful people on the planet! Your father…" He spat the word, as if to get a foul taste out of his mouth. "He planned on wasting all this money, this _power_ … on the poor, the weak, the elderly… those who were UNFORTUNATE! HAH!" He snorted before grabbing the Prince's face. "What a waste. Power is used to get more power. Wasting it on useless tools like that is something only a fool would do."

"You… killed papa for something like that?" Michiru grunted. "Just for money?"

"Just for money he says!" Shabadaba laughed. No one noticed Ino's body was in a slightly different position now, with her hands extended in front of her and her bindings slightly loosened, pointed in the direction of a certain person in the room… "Look at yourself! You are one of the largest men to ever grace the Elemental Nations! You eat like a pig! You live like a pig! You waste money without a second thought! Without money, you would be useless bum and have no idea what to do if you weren't dead already! You have no idea how to use it efficiently, and would run this country into the ground if I didn't take over! I will become fat like you soon, but I will be nowhere near as incompetent and foolish. I will rule this country! I am the king! You don't know what's truly important in this world!"

" _You don't know what matters most!"_

Amayo's voice echoed in the Prince's head as his eyes widened. Money… money… money… when he had first met the mother of his son… he had been happy. Truly happy. Of all the royal and noble women that he had encountered and had been offered… this one, who was not of high class blood, stood out above all the rest. She was beautiful… but there was something else about her that truly made her irresistible to him. It was the way she acted, the way she carried herself. She was a strong woman… realistic but caring… knowledgeable about how the common person saw things. She got into multiple arguments with the noble women in the country's court on occasion… but much to the surprise of many, she was still valued by the king as if she was his own daughter. His father said as much when he said that he was proud that his son had picked possibly the greatest woman he could have found. The two always used to laugh… sometimes in ways that made Michiru feel as if he was the one married into the family.

He had always wondered why he chose the woman that offered nothing to him financially compared to those who were rich and wealth and prestige. Still… despite this, he loved her so much. He was not lying when he had offered Moon country to her the last time they'd met. To him, her presence meant more to him than ruling the country… than continuing his father's legacy. To him… she and Hikaru and his father were worth any price… any effort.

Effort? How long had it been since he actually represented that word? He had just given up after Amayo rejected his begging and pleading to come back. He had lost that happiness that came with being a complete family. He'd began to eat… transforming his once rather handsome appearance into that of a fat man. He began to assume that his son was fine with travelling all the time and not making any friends.

Money… it didn't really help his family life at all, did it. All his excess spending really could have been a desperate attempt to either try and regain some contentment in his life… or to get rid of it all. He wanted to make his dad happy. He wanted to make his son happy. He wanted to be with Amayo and be one family again… but all he really had in the end was money.

To the surprise of many people there, the fat man began to smile weakly before letting out a chuckle. "Money? It won't make my wife love me again. It won't make my father live again. It won't help my son grow up the way I hope he would. Papa was right to try and give it back to the people… money's not important… not in the slightest." His gentle smile grew, as did those of the guards that brought him in and of a certain female in the room. "Well… I can't really say that… it is important for some things… like hiring shinobi, for example…"

Before anyone noticed, Shabadaba's wife came from behind the would-be ruler and held a fruit knife taken from the bowl against his jugular. "I really want to use this to shave that monstrosity off your face…" The woman mused in a playful tone. "Unfortunately, I have to prioritize at the moment.

"Wh-what the hell are you doing?" Shabadaba grunted in surprise.

The three guards that had brought Ino and Michiru in had split up the moment the woman moved. The two on the outside had taken out the guards that had already been stationed there, while the third one flipped through several seals and spat some mud into the main entrance. The mud shot up to become a thick stone wall that cut off access to the outside just as the two original guards fell from the surprise attack. The moment that was over, all three of them exploded into a cloud of smoke to reveal Neji, Kin and Naruto smirking at one another. "That was too easy." Naruto chuckled before turning to the fat woman holding Shabadaba. "Oi Ino. You good?"

"Hurry up, damn you." The possessed woman grunted. "This bitch's body is covered in nasty feeling stuff, and the body itself isn't much better." She glared at Neji. "Did you have to kick me so hard while I was in Kin's body? I know we had to make things realistic, but I'm fairly certain that you shifted something. I barely managed to control myself when I got back."

"We can talk about this later." Kin sighed as she walked casually up to the Prince and untied his bonds. "You could have stretched things out a bit more, but your timing wasn't completely off, I guess…"

"So we have Shabadaba…" Neji listed off, ignoring Naruto's burst of laughter with practiced ease."We've closed off the room…" He quickly activated his eyes to see exactly how many men were trying to get in. "And Michiru is in control again…"

"We could just kill the prick." Kin shrugged, ignoring the squeak of fear coming from the man. "Get rid of him, the men will have no more reason to work for him and go back to Michiru without any problem…"

"No…" Michiru muttered as he stood back up and rubbed his wrists. "I want him to suffer in the deepest jails we have in order to make him truly regret what he has done. Besides, we need him alive in order to make sure that he hasn't redirected any funds into private accounts. Then we'd have to check all the accounts those accounts have done transactions with, and that over again several times." He stated in a tired tone. "The same will have to be done with documents and other important items…" Several thuds against the stone wall Naruto made were heard as the men on the other side tried to bust in.

"Th-thank you, Michiru-dono…" Shabadaba whimpered as he looked down. "No doubt… you have the same wisdom as your father…"

A moment later, he screamed and collapsed as Neji shot forward and shattered his legs with a jūken strike each. "He said not to kill you. He didn't say anything about not crippling you." He grunted. "Your lies are as bad as your stench. Be quiet, or I will shatter your jaw next."

"Finally." Groaned Ino just before she flicked the knife she was holding into the ceiling and transported herself back to her body again. The woman blinked for several moments before squealing like a pig and attempting to hide in a closet nearby. "Damn it…" The Yamanaka grunted as she stood up and rubbed her chest. "I think you really might have bruised something…"

"So about those guards…" Kin mused as she casually held a senbon to Shabadaba's neck.

"I got them." Naruto sighed as he walked to the barrier and made some seals before slamming them on the ground. The group inside could hear shouts of panic suddenly emerge from the outside before the blonde canceled out his wall and let it crumble. The group was met with the sight of everyone on the outside sinking into the concrete as if it was mud, stopping once they reached chest level. Another small pulse of chakra later solidified the earth again, trapping all the men in place.

Before the boy could say anything intimidating, Michiru patted the boy on the shoulder. "Let me do this." He stated as he walked forward. Raising his voice, he began to address his captive audience. "Shabadaba's in my hands. His rule is over. We don't have to fight anymore… we don't have to kill anyone anymore." He smiled sadly. "Have you seen the town? Everyone's afraid to go outside now… doesn't anyone miss that? Are you all that desperate for more money? Why?" He held his hands out. "I've been spending so much these past few years… but I'm miserable. My wife left me. My father's dead because of it… does such a thing really mean that much to you that you would abandon and help kill you own home?"

"Quiet!" One of the guards shouted nervously, though it was unclear if it was due to the thought of going back or due to the fact he was literally trapped in the castle. "You don't know what it's like! To be poor! To live from paycheck to paycheck! Even if we wanted to go back, Shabadaba's ninja…"

"Will do nothing." Michiru shook his head. "Two are dead and the last is a prisoner. I saw the bodies myself. You have nothing to fear from them now."

Several mutterings were heard from the guards as they began to think things over while others still attempted to get out of the ground. "Yeah, right! There's no way a bunch of kids could take those guys down! Even if Shabadaba was removed, most of us would get fired due to the fact that a strong military wouldn't be needed anymore!" One shouted, clearly forgetting that one of said kids had just trapped roughly 80 full grown men in a single go.

"Yes. What you said is true…" Michiru nodded solemnly. "I would have to advise many if not all of you to change jobs. I want a peaceful Moon country. One that my father wished for as well. I can compensate you all a fair amount for your services in his care… but that is the best I can do…"

"My ass there is!" Spat out another pissed guard and a few others as members of the rest of the forces began to run to their location… although their progress was impeded by the sight and presence of their allies stuck in the ground. "You're just going to hoard the money to yourself just like the rest of these noble bastards. At least Shabadaba gave us a job!" He brandished his sword at the Prince, which would have been a bit intimidating if more than two feet of him was above ground. "You'd better keep us on that pay roll even if we do jack-all, or else we'll just take over this country ourselves!"

"Bandits pretending to be militia…" Naruto sighed as he walked in front of the Prince to ensure he wasn't hurt by the newly arrived forces. "Your words won't reach these guys in particular. They were probably imported and slipped in with the original guards." He glared at the men. "Listen, numbnuts. Believe it or not, this isn't the first time I've countered a coup. You can even find me in the Bingo Books if you look hard enough. The Prince is giving you all a VERY nice deal that none of you deserve at the moment. Take it and leave. Otherwise." His Presence grew such that the image of the boy was dwarfed by the feeling of a savage embodiment of air that hovered over him and around the men he was glaring at. "We will have a problem. And I have a tendency to blow up my problems. Just watch that documentary about the Land of Spring. That castle that went down? That was all me… me… me…"

"It's true!" Ino's voice shouted from inside the room. "He's a nut when it comes to that shit! You have no idea how much trouble he's put us through because of it!"

"Heheh…" The blonde grinned, his aura and his face becoming more evil to the point where even Michiru was distancing himself from the boy. "Yeah… that does seem to be the case a lot of the time, doesn't it…" His glowing eyes met the guards that seemed to be truly against Shabadaba's removal. "Of course, I should tell you guys one more thing before you make your final decision." He pointed up to the building's side that he had just come out of, causing all the men there to look up and see the several dozen shadow clones of the blonde who were also sporting demonic grins and waving around blades originating from their arms in various styles. "If you fight me… you aren't simply fighting one psychotically overpowered ninja brat… you're fighting over a thousand… that can blow up…" Many of the clones began to point their arms at the men and extend their blades to extreme lengths very slowly, stopping just barely out of their target's reach. "So boys… is it the easy way, or the exploding way?"

o. o. o.

Iwa:

"This is getting ridiculous…" Ōnoki grumbled as he went over the reports. Normally he'd have his clones go over things like this, but the long winded reports required him to look at things one at a time, so he was stuck in this case. "Han isn't the type to keep quiet for long or stay out of sight… so how the hell has he not been seen yet?" He slammed the folder on his desk. "Rōshi… you're thinking the same thing I am, right?"

"At this point, it's obvious." The fellow old man shrugged. "From the initial reports you showed me, the idiot had help busting out. Tampered seals, weakened structures. The works. Now he's getting help keeping low… or he up and got himself killed. It's hard trying to point out one escaped prisoner from the couple dozen or so ninja that also escaped. Mixed trails and all that" He shrugged. "Not my fault you decided to wait to get clues because you thought Han would do something noticeable by now…"

"But who?" Ōnoki hissed ignoring Rōshi's jab as he took out another folder, this one containing the data from the prison break itself. "Who the hell helped him in the first place? This thing started and was focused from Han's cell. Someone broke his sealing restraints and somehow got him to use a fair amount of the Gobi's chakra to get out. That in turn took out a good portion of the prison's security and enabled more of the other prisoners to escape and caused a huge bloody snowball of defiant little shits getting free and turning loose more prisoners!"

"You know, it could be some of the remaining escaped convicts that are helping Han out." Rōshi pointed casually before taking another drink of sake. "They would probably think that with his power and their 'cunning' or 'brains' or whatever delusional trait they have, they could rule a small country or something." He drank some more. "Normally that might mean more high level missions for us… but this is Han we're talking about. They get too rowdy and Iwa might find itself in some truly annoying political crap. This of course leads us right back to 'why the hell hasn't he destroyed a building somewhere yet?'"

"I don't like this." The Tsuchikage grunted. "We both know he isn't like this… unless…"

"He's biding his time for something extremely big and doesn't want any distractions." Rōshi nodded. "Remember those grudges he used to have as a kid? The bullies would bug him and bug him, but he wouldn't do jack… then all at once in a single night, he snuck into all of their homes, took their pets, mutilated them and then nailed the bodies to their front door. He can hold things back for a while if he wants to." He stroked his chin. "Still… who or what the hell is worth the effort that he's still holding back?"

"There's always the entirety of Iwa and myself." Ōnoki shrugged. "He does pretty much hate it here, and I was the one that sent him to isolation. I wasn't exactly subtle when I did it, either."

"True…" Rōshi mused. "The guys here are pricks to jinchūriki. The only reason why I'm still respected is that I've been around for a while and I don't go around killing and torturing people around me. Plus, there was that one guy that I covered in lava… that kind of leaves lasting impressions on people." He blinked at his drink. "The problem is if Han isn't after someone in the local area and strikes out at someone from another country…" He burped. "I mean… if he was somewhere in the area, odds are we would have found him by now. But if he's somewhere where we have little to no jurisdiction…"

"Then this is a potential political bomb up the ass just waiting to go off." Ōnoki groaned. "Knowing is all fine and all, but that still leaves us with asking what could have been such a target that he's biding his time." The large nosed man rolled his eyes. "Everyone he had a grudge against in the war save for a handful are dead, and those that are still alive wouldn't be worth the aggravation of doing nothing for almost half a year."

He closed his eyes and leaned on the desk. "He spent most of his time fighting Kumo and Suna forces during the Third War. Other than getting beaten into the ground by A and B, there weren't many others that angered him and got away that are still alive today. Sure, those two in particular anger him a bit… but not to this extent. Plus, he's not dumb enough to try and take them on." He tapped his fingers on the desk tiredly. "Honestly. All the people he's had grudges against are dead. That instructor of his that tried to kill him several times. That squad from Kusa that he used to come across. That woman who he had once had feelings for but dumped him by sleeping with a bunch of his teammates… who he killed soon afterwards. Namikaze…"

He paused for a moment before glancing at Rōshi, who had immediately gotten the hint as well. "I think Sharingan Kakashi might have been worth the effort too, since he was part of Namikaze's team at the time. The Uchiha were all but killed off… there were a couple of random mercenary shinobi too, but I can't remember what happened to them." He groaned and leaned back. "Great. That lowers our odds of finding him by, say, a sixth of the shinobi population. Damn it, Han… just talking about you gives me a headache." He looked at Rōshi. "Speaking of headaches… when was your next session in Konoha again? I'm tired of you coming in here and stinking up my office with booze. It's hard enough doing this job normally."

The jinchūriki grunted, knowing where Ōnoki was going with this. "Actually, I'm supposed to be there for another couple of months soon… and quit your bitching. You've been having the time of your life since Saru taught you the trick with the shadow clones."

"I'm old, damn it! I can't hold them up for that long!" Ōnoki growled. "And how soon are you talking about?"

"Erm…" Rōshi mused with a drunk blush on his face. "Yesterday, I think…"

The room was silent as the two stared at one another.

"Be there last week. And when you get back, I expect you to have both good news and some of Saru's stash for me." The short man glared. "… NOW!" Within moments, Rōshi had closed the door behind him, leaving Ōnoki alone in the room again to gather his thoughts. The container of the 4 tails knew the real reason why he was going to Konoha so quickly. Truth be told, it was next week that he was supposed to arrive, but they couldn't be too careful. Hopefully Saru could give them a bit of help to ensure that things didn't get out of control...

 _'It couldn't be…'_ The aged man mused as he tapped his finger on his desk and thought about the possibility of Han going after the Namikaze… excuse him, Uzumaki brat.

First of all, his existence was nothing but rumors here. Granted, they still haven't gone away yet, but they were only rumors. Yamanaka had blonde hair, and so did other random shinobi from time to time. Hell, the only ones who had confirmation of some sort was him and Rōshi, and neither one were dumb enough to let that info out, even if they were smashed. They were bloody old and wanted to die living the life, happy and drunk out of their minds in retirement, not in another war that was sparked by some of the dumbest reasons imaginable.

Attempting to gain land or resources? A bit selfish, but still reasonable. Political scandal? Happens all the time. Botched mission involving political officials? Messy, but once again a logical excuse. A third party trying to pit several countries against one another in order to take them down and come out victorious when they come in at the last second to take out the survivors? Hasn't happened yet between the main 5 countries, but it has occurred in many other places. Killing a brat that has high potential political power - not because he's a threat, but just for revenge - via a rampaging jinchūriki that escaped from prison and has conveniently been on the loose for almost half a year? Oh, he could feel the headaches coming now…

If he remembered correctly, some Konoha kid going by the title of the Feral Gale had been guarding the Prince of Moon Country at that actress-turned-Daimyō Koyuki's documentary movie premiere. Word was that the boy had only just headed back to his home, so he could already be back there…

If Han really was going after the brat, though… The old man mused the possibility before making some shadow clones and taking out all the reports of the Han searches and a map of the Elemental Nations. Since the rogue man was a jinchūriki and thus a valued weapon of the village and had been gone for half a year, there were more than a few reports to go through. Slowly, he and the clones began marking down the areas that been searched. Obviously a fair number of them came from within the Land of Earth, the rest stretching from some of the lesser known countries to a few of the great nations as well. All reported nothing but rumors and inconsequential information… however…

He looked down at the map and frowned. True, it was a rather convenient turn of events for Han if this was the case by pure luck…

However as a shinobi, luck wasn't part of it when things were this important. No… this was too convenient to be accidental. The balance of where the reports took place and where they spanned in particular territories did not make sense.

There were almost no reports or sweeps of the general areas between Konoha and the ports that were close to Moon country.

Quickly, he ordered his clones to look at the reports that were in or bordered the sparse area, as well as spots that sweeps seemed rather focused on that shouldn't have been deemed so essential. Teams. Contacts. Superiors. Everything needed to be looked at and examined. He sighed to himself. This was going to be a long night.

o. o. o.

Moon:

Naruto sighed as he walked through the forest. Shabadaba was captured. The militia had backed off without a fight. Michiru was now the King of the Land of Moon, and Hikaru was now the Crown Prince. Somehow, the circus animals had found his team hiding in the woods. Luckily, Cham and Kiki had taken a liking to the boy after the boat incident, so the animals there served as a convenient second guard for everyone there. A quick radio call had managed to get everyone back to the castle without much issue…

Well… Almost everyone.

Reaching a small outcropping of rocks, the boy looked behind a rather large boulder to find the person he was looking for. "Hey." He sighed as he walked towards a tearing and red eyed Hinata huddled with her head on her knees, wrapped as tightly as she could as if it could make herself disappear. The blonde's nose could pick up the smell of bile and vomit nearby.

"I… I…" She mumbled as her body shivered, unable to do much in her current state of mind.

The blonde didn't wait and gently approached her from behind and put his arms around her trembling body. "You're thinking about how you killed that rock guy." He stated, not even second guessing himself as he began to rock her.

"He… he was everywhere…" The girl whimpered. "I knew that it was the best way to finish him off without any trouble… Neji and I have practiced the maneuver before… but… his screaming… and all that blood… I… I'm a monster…"

"Shhh…" The boy whispered, holding her tighter. "It's okay. I'm here. There's nothing to be scared about. You're worried that you could be turning into some kind of freak, right? Just because of the way you finished that jerk off right?" The increase in trembling in his arms answered his question.

"Hinata-chan… listen." He said in a soft and comforting voice, his head resting on her shoulder. "If you are a monster, then I'm a monster too. Gaara would be a monster. Kakashi-sensei… Kurenai-sensei… Baa-chan… Ero-sennin… would all be monsters…" He paused for a moment. "Ero-nii's family were monsters from birth, so they don't count here." He stated in an emotionless way, causing the girl to giggle a small amount. "We've all killed people Hinata-chan, some in clean ways… others in messy ones. Do you honestly think that Baa-chan has never turned someone into literal paste with that super strength of hers?" He rubbed his head against hers. "… I've seen Waltz cry as he's told me about the way he's killed people during a rough period in his life. I've seen Ero-nii laugh bitterly to himself as he thinks about good friends and enemies he's had to end due to circumstances beyond even his control. We have all done bad things, Hinata-chan. That's what we do, and that is what will happen sometimes… but because we regret it, and hope we don't have to do it again, and try our hardest to make sure that it won't happen… we at least can be decent human beings as well as decent monsters."

The girl's trembling had reduced significantly. "H-have you ever k-killed someone like this before?" She whimpered out loud.

Naruto paused for a moment before letting his body sag. "A few… it would have been more, but in a couple of those exceptions, one wasn't alive to begin with and the other somehow survived…" The time traveler's memories flashed back to when he had hit Kabuto with his Rasengan for the first time. The spy's stomach was twisted and misshapen when the attack had completed its damage. It should have been lethal, but of course as Orochimaru's right hand man, it had only crippled him for the fight.

The second 'almost' death had been when he had completely eviscerated one of Nagato's controlled bodies with his Rasenshuriken. Again, it had been in the middle of a battle, so he hadn't paid much attention to it at the time, but from what he had heard, the waist down was blown to kingdom come and the only thing left of the upper body was the top third of the head, including one ringed eye staring blankly into the sky. He had unfortunately seen said piece of head after the fight after he had recovered. To be honest, he still had nightmares about seeing that thing stare at him every now and then.

The times he had actually killed someone in a brutal fashion included but weren't limited to the time when he and Sasuke teamed up in Wave and charcoaled a couple hundred mercenaries, his efforts in the Oto invasion and causing several men's weapons to backfire, and of course, when he blew himself and several others up during the attempted Hyūga coup.

"The guy we killed…and yes, I said we. I threw him to you and Neji, so I'm just as responsible. Anyway… he was going to turn a small boy to stone simply because he would get some money to do so. We saw how he moved… how he acted. I know you could tell that he did not mind in the slightest. He's probably done it before… and if we didn't stop him now, he would have most likely done it again multiple times later" He grunted as his hug tightened.

"Personally… it was a bit messy for my tastes too… but it was what that jerk deserved, because he was going to turn Hikaru to stone and then break him, not even letting him die in a human's body. A person… to be able to do something like that with a smile on his face…" He hissed before relaxing. "The world would have been better off if he didn't exist, but he does… as do loads of other guys like that. Despite how much we don't want to believe it, these guys are around. Sometimes… you have to fight fire with fire, and become a monster in order to stop another one regardless in order to keep things cleaner." He laughed lightly. "In the words of Ero-nii, 'So long as I'm an awesome monster that kicks ass and isn't a prick, who cares if I'm a monster or not? I'd still be awesome! Oh and sexy. Can't forget that part either.'"

The blonde wisely didn't add in the part about beautiful women flocking to him wanting to have 'sexy awesome monster babies'… or the maniacal laughter.

"Yeah…" Hinata mumbled as she snuggled herself into the boy's arms. "So I guess we are going to have to become sexy awesome monsters too, I guess…"

"I already am!" The blonde grinned. "You?" He put on a thoughtful expression. "Hmmm. Well you are definitely awesome… and you might be a monster… but sexy? You're cute and beautiful, but we're going to have to wait a few years before you get that last part down."

Silence.

Wham!

Hinata stomped away in a huff, her previous meltdown all but forgotten as she left Naruto with his head rammed completely into a nearby boulder and his body lifelessly hanging from it. "I knew she would do that…" His voice grunted from where the head was. "… But it was totally worth it. Ow."

o. o. o.

A few days later:

Naruto and the males of his team stood in front of the island's beach in nothing but their swim suits, glaring at the view in front of them seriously. Naruto puffed his chest out dramatically, his toned body showing his fit physique and his lean muscles, much like all the other males in his team, though his skin was the tannest naturally. "This is it, men. After all the hell that we have endured these past few months…"

"Mostly because of you." Kiba interjected, getting a series of nods from the other guys there.

"… Mostly because of me, we finally have our time off in a kick ass area…" He began to weep manly tears and clench his fist. "And for once, neither our teachers, or our parents, or the Ōgakari are here to ruin it for us."

"Truly a remarkable event." Lee wept. "If only Gai-sensei was here…"

"That would kind of defeat the purpose of what Naruto just said, Lee." Neji deadpanned.

"How long are we going to stand here?" Sai asked.

"Not long." Kiba commented. "Naruto isn't one for long speeches unless he's already done something absurd. Even then, about a third of those speeches involve him laughing like an idiot."

"Naruto? Why aren't you waiting for the girls to come before doing your speech?" The palest of the group questioned. "Normally you would wait for all of us to be here before you 'made us miserable with the sound of your voice.'"

"They said that they would let me into the casino for a couple of days if they could skip it." The blonde responded in a matter of fact tone. "Fools. I'm gonna break at least half of the ones on the island by the end of the first night." He grinned. "The ramen pool will not escape me this time…"

"Damn." Neji cursed. "We should have thought of that."

"And that is why we shall treasure this week as the week that we will forever hold in our hearts… because I have no doubt in my mind that at some point, one of us will somehow get us banned or arrested by the end of the week for reasons that should not exist." The blonde concluded his noble declaration, getting a series of nods from the rest of the males with him.

"I had already gone through the scenario various times in my mind for when that moment came." Sai stated. "So long as we are all within the city, I am certain we could escape the island within a period of 3 hours."

The leader gave the spy a thumbs up. "Well done!"

"Hey guys!" Ino shouted from behind the group. "Naruto's done with his mindless ranting yet?"

"Just finished." Kiba sighed as he and the rest of the guys turned around. "Honestly, why didn't you just make him promise to skip the speech all together instead of making us suffer?"

The three girls laughed as they walked to the boys all in sundresses. Despite being a bit old fashioned, the attire was preferred by kunoichi due to the fact that you could hide virtually anything underneath them and for their easy ability to be removed.

The appearance of Hinata, though, made Naruto glad. After that 'not sexy' comment a few days beforehand, she had been giving him the silent treatment, though that was preferred compared to her freaking out over killing Ishidate. Still… that casual smile she was giving him was making him on edge for some reason. "No can do, dude." Kin smirked. "Nutcase had to make someone suffer or he would make us all nuts. Consider yourselves casualties."

"How unfortunate." Lee sighed. "It was truly an inspirational moment."

"Can we get to the vacation part already?" Kiba moaned. "I wanna have some beach time damn it."

Ino grinned to her fellow females. "Well ladies, shall we?" Both nodded, and before the boys knew what was happening, all three girls tore off their dresses like a shinobi would take off a disguise… to reveal that all three of them were in their swim suits already. Ino had gone with a standard yellow bikini that covered all the right spots and showed off her figure. Kin had also done a bikini as well, dark green, but her bottom had a low cut boxer style that did nothing to hide the shape of her rear, and her top likewise was rather high cut, appearing as if her still developing but still shapely breasts could fall off of the top that otherwise covered everything above that line other than her shoulders.

Hinata, on the other hand, had decided to take a unique approach. Her suit was indeed a one piece and black. However, instead of covering her entire body, it was a rather intricate piece that consisted of several straps that wove itself over her body and in a way exposed all the parts of her body that Kin's and Ino's covered… other than the important ones, of course. The end result framed her developed body more than the others did and … and the boys noticed. Despite the fact that all three were still in their early teens, all three had still been in puberty for a fairly long time and their figures showed it. "So how do we look, guys? Are you impressed?" Ino teased as she and the girls struck a pose.

"Wh… bu… da…" Kiba fumbled as he pointed to each of the girls and mentally noted that each one of them was in a relationship of sorts at the moment. "Damn… it…" He wept.

"So… youthful…" Lee mumbled as he stared at Kin.

Neji gaped as he thought of what would happen if Hiashi or any of the remaining elders heard about what Hinata was wearing.

Sai just tilted his head to the side and made mental notes on how females these days decided to dress in order to impress or distract males

Naruto… just stood there and looked at Hinata as one of his eyes twitched.

"So what were you saying about me not being sexy a few days ago, Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked in an innocent but taunting tone as she slowly walked to him and gently touched his arm.

Ino giggled for a moment as she saw Hinata tease the other blonde, knowing exactly the story behind her teasing before she got a good look at Naruto and almost burst out laughing. "No way!" She snickered as she walked towards the pair to get a look and confirmed her suspicions as Hinata continued to flirt with the boy. "Hinata! I really think you broke him!" She grinned as she wove a hand in front of the unresponsive boy and snapped her fingers near his ear. "You should have totally done this to him during the Chūnin Exams! You would have won in a heartbeat!"

"Completely illogical… the results are clearly devastating…" Sai concluded. "No wonder Naruto claims that lewd transformation technique of his is labeled a forbidden technique."

"Hey, there are some cute girls here!" A random civilian teen a few years older than the group shouted as he started walking to the kunoichi from behind. "Hey girlies! Why don't you leave these kids… and…" He paused as he noticed that while the girls had turned to look at them, leaving their friends behind them, the blonde boy and the kid with the bowl cut hairdo were smiling at him and making gestures that belonged only to homicidal serial killers and psychopaths. It didn't help that they were holding up kunai that they had grabbed from nowhere the moment the girls had turned away from them. "Er… never mind." He laughed nervously. "Sorry to bother you!" He waved and ran for it, leaving the girls looking at one another curiously before turning around again, where Naruto and Lee had once again donned their dumbstruck looks, kunai disappearing to wherever the hell they had grabbed them from in the first place.

"That was weird." Ino mused. "Normally guys don't give me that face unless I'm about to test out my interrogation methods on them."

"Whatever…" Kin groaned as she cracked her neck and began to walk towards the water, where their stuff had already been set up. "I'm gonna get a tan. Spending all that time in the damn shadows and underground with Orochimaru almost permanently screwed up my complexion…"

That seemed to snap Lee out of his reapplied daze as he quickly turned around and followed the girl. "Ah wait! Allow me to apply the lotion onto your youthful body!"

Kiba nearly burst out laughing. "Is it me, or is that really the most masculine thing he's ever said, ever?"

"So long as we remember that he said that to a female… yes." Neji snickered.

"How much you wanna bet that he or Gai-sensei has said something like that to one another for training at some point?" Ino smirked before they all paused for a moment to think about what she just said… and they all (other than Naruto, who was still broken) hunched over and attempted not to lose their breakfast.

"N-new rule…" Sai staggered. "No more 'what if' questions when regarding Lee and Gai-sensei."

"Agreed." The others mumbled

"N-Naruto-kun. Would you like to help put some lotion on me too?" Hinata asked in a sweet tone as she walked up with a small strut to the mentally stunted blonde, obviously trying to seduce him, but just as obviously not completely comfortable with seducing in general.

"Fox boy obey pretty lady…" The blonde responded in a possessed tone, causing the rest of the males to sweatdrop.

 _'He is so whipped.'_ All three of them, including Sai, thought at once.

"Hinata… about your choice in swimwear…" Neji fumbled over his words, trying to warn his cousin of what would happen if her father heard about her current attire…

"Yes, Neji?" The girl smiled sweetly without a care in the world. "I was about to get a tan and have Naruto-kun rub some lotion on me. Is there a problem?"

"Rub… lotion…" The blonde repeated like a zombie before blinking at Hinata. "… Fear…"

"N-nothing." The eldest of the group sweated nervously, knowing very well that his cousin would kill him if he continued. "J-just think of a different suit to wear next time we come here… something that my uncle won't kill me for, please."

The girl's smile didn't change as she looked at Naruto's enslaved state. "… I'll consider it." She turned back to where their stuff was, seeing Lee already applying lotion… albeit a bit too enthusiastically at times… to Kin's back. "Come on, Naruto-kun. It's been a while since you gave me a good massage…"

"Tan… massage… hot Hinata…" Naruto droned as he followed the girl in a daze.

Ino wept as she watched the four set themselves up on the towels. "Damn it! Why couldn't Chōji be here too? I want my boy toy to slave over my body on this beach!" She paused as another random civilian teen, also fairly good looking, approached her hopefully. "Damn it! Not again!"

None of them noticed the first male that Naruto and Lee had turned down glare at them before slipping into an alleyway carefully…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Shikamaru looked at Chōji skeptically as they walked to the Hokage's tower. "You okay? You've been pretty on edge all week. I can't take my eyes off of you without you trying to pick a fight with some guy around our age who looks halfway decent. Was that mission we were on that bad?"

The clearly irritable Akimichi glanced at his friend before sighing. "I don't know, Shika. It's not the mission. We did it well and got paid well for it. I just have this urge to punch every pretty boy I see in the face right now. I don't know why, though…"

"Stay with me, buddy. I can't have you catching the Ōgakari's crazy too now." Shikamaru sighed as he stopped in the front of the building. "Well, thanks for walking with me here. Sucks that my break's been canceled for some reason." He shook his head as he walked inside. "Later. Tell your folks I said hi."

"Will do." The chubby boy saluted as he disappeared behind the closing doors.

"Now what the hell is so important that that troublesome old bat took me out of my break for?" Shikamaru grumbled as he walked to Tsunade's office, going through the proper doors and people before walking into the woman's office to see Kakashi, Sakura… and Yamato all standing in line. The presence of the supposed still enlisted ANBU in conjunction with the other two time travelers and himself made it apparent that something wasn't right. "Shit." He grunted as he closed the door behind him. "This is more annoying than I thought it was going to be, isn't it?"

The red headed jinchūriki from Iwa snorted from next to the frowning Hokage. "Kid, you don't know the half of it…"

"Hokage-sama…" Yamato advised as he looked at Shikamaru and Sakura. "I must protest on your choice of team members. Sakura and Shikamaru are both no doubt promising individuals, but…"

"Quiet." Tsunade growled. "I know exactly what I'm doing." She glanced at Rōshi. "Tell them."

"Yeah, yeah." The Iwa envoy grunted as he scratched the back of his head. "Long story short. Han, the escaped jinchūriki for the Gobi, has been quiet ever since he got sprung from prison 6 months ago, which is unusual for a hothead like him. Ōnoki and I are guessing that he's gunning for that blonde kid of yours, Naruto, because there's rumors going around that he's the son of Namikaze, who Han happens to have a huge bone to pick with."

"This morning…" Shizune stated as she took out a scroll that she was holding. "We got a message from Tsuchikage-sama stating that many of his search parties for Han that were tasked with looking in the area between Konoha and several of the southern ports were quietly redirected. Normally he would not be one to disclose such a breach in his village's security to us, however…" She looked nervously between the adults there.

"The assault and possible death of the son of the Fourth Hokage and the jinchūriki of the Kyūbi by a conveniently escaped and experienced jinchūriki from another village could easily spark a new war." Shikamaru stated in a bored but serious tone.

"Shikamaru!" Yamato yelled. "What on earth are you…?"

"Rōshi already knows this much, and Ōnoki pretty much knows that Naruto is the Yondaime's son." The Nara continued with a bored tone. "Otherwise Ōnoki would not have sent us this information in the first place."

"We're the only ones who know. 'Noki and I want to die without people fighting and explosions all around us, thank you very much. Had more than enough already." Rōshi shrugged as he drank some sake. "'Noki doesn't know about the Kyūbi yet… good thing too, considering he's still dealing with Akatsuki for small spying missions."

"So the rumor that the old Fence Sitter was hiring them for high level missions was true after all…" Kakashi mused darkly. "This is certainly concerning."

"Yamato. As you know, in addition to being our main connection to Iwa, Rōshi here is the jinchūriki for the Yonbi." Tsunade stated. "Through means I cannot inform you of yet, we have managed to convince him to discretely aid us in our fight against Akatsuki, a group of S-class missing-nin that can and will be hunting the bijū within the next few years. There are many of us throughout the continent that are involved in this operation and are aiding in this endeavor. While the Tsuchikage is not one of them, Rōshi obviously is, despite the fact that doing so is borderline treason for him."

"As for the brats…" Rōshi shrugged before drinking again. "Well, they're in the same group for some reason. Don't ask me, it's not like I bothered to meet everyone in this messed up shit storm you guys call an organization…" He swallowed. "Thing is, though… if they are involved… odds are they can do some interesting things that they haven't let other people see yet."

"Which is why I've included them in this mission." Tsunade stated. Clearly the thought of Naruto getting into even more trouble than he's already been in this mission did not make her happy. "Ōnoki is sending some emergency hunter teams to meet up with you to aid in your search and apprehension of Han and any other rogues he may be with. He suspects there could be as many as 6 full teams of shinobi that also escaped from the prison with him. In addition to you 4, there will be 2 full squads of ANBU going with you as well. Sakura, you shall be aiding the medical unit to the best of your abilities. Shikamaru, you will be aiding the tactics division. Kakashi is in charge of our men on this mission, with Yamato as his second." Her eyes narrowed at the clone of the First Hokage, saying of course that he was in charge of holding down Han if he utilized his beast.

"Honestly…" Kakashi scratched the back of his head. "I just wanted to read my books. Naruto really knows how to get into trouble. First that debacle in Spring again… then dealing with all that chaos in Iron and fighting the Sanbi… then rescuing Moon country… and now possibly the Gobi…"

Rōshi whistled, clearly impressed. "Brat took down a bijū already in his current shape? Damn, he's gonna have a mean streak by the time he hits puberty."

Sakura and Shikamaru blinked before looking at Kakashi bewildered. "The Sanbi?" The pinkette blinked. "When the hell did he fight the Sanbi? Scratch that. How the hell did he fight it without getting rushed here for almost dying?"

"He apparently summoned the three great warrior toads to help him out in the fight and did a collaboration jutsu with Gamabunta and Sasuke to turn the tides of the battle." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "A bit much if you ask me, but at least he didn't do anything too stupid this time. The Sanbi is in Kiri now. I'm surprised that Sasuke and Tenten haven't told you about this yet."

"I haven't seen Sasuke-kun for a while." The girl responded. "I tried looking for him since we got back last week, but he's been off training the entire time."

"Ah… that may have been my fault." Kakashi eye smiled sheepishly. "He's really been into his training ever since he got back. His time in Iron may have been a bit… extreme, for lack of a better word. Actually, I should probably force him to take some downtime soon. I have to spend some time to train myself after all…"

"If I remember correctly, there are more than a few ports that service boats to Moon country that Konoha has access to." Shikamaru mused. "They're in the same general area, but they're still pretty spread out. Even with 6 teams, it's gonna be pretty troublesome to locate the target, jinchūriki or not."

"Which is why I'm sending you out now." The woman stated as she tossed the group a scroll. "You are to conduct the preliminary searches as soon as possible before encountering the arriving hunter squads and relaying your information to them. Do NOT engage until you are with Iwa's forces, unless the situation forces your hand. Your primary goal is to ensure that Naruto Uzumaki's group returns safely or is accounted for and protected from Han and any rogue Iwa forces. Your secondary goal is to restrain, capture, or in a worst case scenario, eliminate said rogue forces. Your time for this mission is unspecified."

"Tsunade-sama…" Sakura asked warily. "What about… them? Wouldn't they be interested in participating in this mission, considering its contents?"

The woman snorted. "Three members of the Ōgakari are out of the village doing other tasks at the moment, and upon hearing the contents of the mission, the other two have declined taking it. They claim it's a good way to break in Naruto's team… lazy pricks."

"They don't seem that concerned…" Kakashi mused. "Although since we are talking about Naruto and those in his team…" He shook his head. "No, even for them, these conditions are too risky to simply brush off. There are too many variables."

"Troublesome bastards." Shikamaru sighed. "If they aren't annoying us in one extreme, they're doing it in another."

"You are to leave with the other teams this afternoon at 6. Dismissed." The woman grunted before watching her soldiers nod and leave the room. "… Let's just hope your luck for having missions turn out with no casualties sticks, Naruto…" She mumbled, not caring that Rōshi and Shizune were still next to her.

o. o. o.

Kumo:

"There's been talk about you since the tournament." A grunted as he bit into the meal in front of him. "They call you the Hill of Blades… humph. A bit of a flashy title if you ask me…"

"Better than the Kenkage." Scabbard snorted as he drank some wine. "I didn't chose the name either. Regardless, it is rather catchy, and I have no desire to change it."

"There's already some bounties on your head." The leader commented. "Many are interested in what valuable weapons you have on your person and more are interested in trying to get you to work for them."

"So long as they pay the appropriate price and are suitable business partners, I have no qualms working under others." The immortal shrugged casually before eating some of the chicken he ordered. "For those who would attempt to force me to work at lower fees… well, there are boons to being adept at creating high grade weapons in seconds."

"Among other skills, I imagine." The larger of the two snorted, remembering how the man in front of him had paralyzed his arm in half a second without any hesitation. He took another swig of the wine in front of him before wiping his mouth with a napkin. "So… onto other matters. The deal between you and my village. Before I agree to them, I need to talk to you about some particular topics…"

"The boy is in fact who you assume him to be, and yes, I intend to use the island for the purpose that you suspect." The green haired man stated without hesitation before eating again. "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

A blinked at the man dubiously before looking around the high class restaurant. They were in a reserved area, yes, but still, people could be listening in on them… unlikely, due to the fact that people knew what would happen to those who spied on the Raikage, but still. "You must have some big balls." The man grunted. "To simply say things of that nature… you could easily get killed for telling people these things…"

"Don't try to hide it." The immortal yawned though still never breaking eye contact with the village leader. "I'd be seriously disappointed in you if you didn't figure it out with all the info Darui and Bee told you when they got back. Who the boy is and my reasons for using the island have not changed a bit, neither have the constraints that you have already put on the deal that I have already consented to. Besides, playing such petty mind games when the evidence is this obvious is beneath me." He drank some more. "The deal won't change regardless. If you back out or change it, I will walk out right now and I will not give Kumo any other potential business offers down the road."

"So it's an all or nothing sort of deal then?" The bigger of the two glared at the smaller one. He did not like to be talked down to, especially by business men literally half his size. "And what makes you think that I can't negotiate myself a better deal or do better without you? Now that I know what you intend to do with my village's property, you know that I can't help but be more than wary of you and your activities."

The shorter of the two put on a ponderous expression and began to tick off reasons off of his fingers. "Well, let's see. Because unless you are a complete fool, you should be able to recognize the threat of the group that attacked us, as well as the fact that I knew enough about them and their motives to manipulate them and their movements long before they even knew we were an actual threat. Because you know that I know more about them than you do. Because I have sources that are constantly giving me detailed and updated information about our targets that you would normally loose platoons of spies over before you managed to get even one in such a position." He smirked. "And possibly the most likely reason… because I have your interest. My group is a wild card. An enigma, possibly an even greater one than this enemy we face… and to just leave us be without having some kind of way to find out more information about us simply would not do for someone in your position…" He poured some more alcohol for himself. "This really is quite a fine vintage… I may have to buy a few bottles for my trip back home. Hiruzen and Tsunade would definitely be interested in this…"

A grit his teeth before hastily grabbing his ribs and tearing off a chunk of meat, chewing harshly as he thought about how the man backed him into a metaphorical corner. He was known as a stubborn man. Many said his will and anger were only matched by his insane speed… his temper was something many feared, but he didn't become Raikage and overthrow his father just by being fast and strong. Calming himself down, the man pondered his situation.

So far… other than the fact that the man in front of him was trying to use his village's greatest training ground and his brother to train other jinchūriki to become stronger… he had been nothing but compliant with his wishes. Hell… he even made it so that his brother fought against this Akatsuki group and got away without them finding out about the Hachibi. Talented or not, to pull something like that off against 4 S-ranked criminals was no minor feat, especially if the one who planned the entire thing was the second strongest fighter there (according to him) and didn't even take part in battle.

Agreeing to the deal would not only supply his forces with extremely high level equipment, but also give him more information about this group that was after his brother. He was skeptical about the man's warnings at first, but there was no doubt now that the threat existed and that they were more than capable of getting what they wanted. Also, like the man said, it would save him manpower in terms of spies and allow him to keep something of an eye on this man's group… as much as he was loath to admit it.

On the minus side, he did not like being forced into a corner so easily, be it in negotiations or on the battlefield. He did not trust this man, and he did not appreciate the fact that every time the leader assumed to have a new piece of information to hold against the weapon maker, the man would just confirm his suspicions without any hesitation, as if the data was irrelevant in the first place, before moving on. The worst part was that he would do so every single time the black man would attempt to use the information to try and make the lighter one slip up and give him more information in the process. It was a risky method of negotiation, considering what the Raikage had already learned in the process… but it was also damned well brilliant due to the fact that it stopped the leader from learning anything more than the bare facts that he had already assumed were true in the first place. Considering that he needed more information regarding this enemy group… it was possibly one of the best moves he could play.

Still, he had to calm himself down and list the facts. There was a group after jinchūriki. There are roughly 10 of them. They are all strong enough to be a very real threat on the battlefield and to his village… strong enough that it could be considered a war if they were pushed enough to make radical moves. This man's group wants to protect the jinchūriki, or at the very least stop this other group from getting their hands on the bijū… in a few years at least. They want to use the turtle island to enable the jinchūriki they are teamed up with to enhance their abilities to fight off this group. The Kyūbi jinchūriki, who happens to be the son of the Yellow Flash, is one of them, along with several other outside of Kumo's control. If this hostile group happened to gain control of all of the bijū, then something horrible will happen. Apparently it is not because the enemy will have 9 new jinchūriki. It would be something more… imminent.

The man in front of him is capable of creating high end weapons, which he is planning on selling to his village at appropriate prices, possibly to prepare for the future conflicts. He also plans on using his delivery trips to Kumo as a cover to deliver and exchange information with him about this mystery group. He is a powerful individual with extraordinarily high chakra reserves and battle capabilities. This man also is not working for Konoha. With, yes… however, if Konoha was truly behind it, there would have been at least a letter or two coming from the Hokage by now. This was considerably more covert than standard dealings between the higher-ups between villages. Speaking of villages, it is most likely that this man's group also has something set up in Suna due to the relations between them and Konoha… and Kiri, if what Bee and Darui mentioned about their trip is true… if that is the case, then it is safer to be involved in the goings of this group then not… for now.

"You finally made up your mind." Scabbard droned as he chewed on some more chicken. "It doesn't matter to me if you are agreeing so that you are able to gain more information on my group… so long as you keep to your end of the deal, I will keep mine. I am a man of business after all, and it is bad business to skimp on a deal while it's only half complete."

"I bet many people have told you that you talk too much." The Raikage glared at the man for once again acting as if he was an open book.

"Only the ones who are not used to doing business with me." The man shrugged. "The rest know it's safer and faster to just get to the point of things, lest they give me more chances to embarrass them. It's a bad habit of mine. Now about the island…"

o. o. o.

Kirigakure:

"The water is very clean here…" A giant figure mused as it and three other figures walked calmly through the dense mist. "It's not just from the result of being boiled from the magma pockets… the mist here is also rich in chakra… a sensory technique I gather?"

"Yes." The smallest responded. "It is similar to the Seventh Sense, although nowhere near as flexible. No doubt the ANBU here in Kiri have already prepared for our arrival…"

"Great…" Zabuza grunted. "You know, we could have just made it so that they wouldn't detect us until we reached the front gate… would have saved us the agony of dealing with a bunch of cowards that will most likely be trying to intimidate us until we reach Mei."

"Well, we did have the option of simply passing through the gaps in the system due to the local air currents that you know… or I could have just frozen the mist to cancel out the technique, but you were the one that didn't want to make the locals want to kill you more than they already did." Haku interjected.

"When the sky sweats and the trees take an algebra test… a muffin is born…" Squee'd Crypt. "I named mine the giraffe coat hanger."

"… I will be very surprised if we don't manage to accidentally spark a war by the end of the week." Wept the Demon of the Mist.

"It could be worse." Laughed Haku nervously. "He could actually know what he's saying."

"Don't tempt him." Grunted Waltz before he paused. "By the way…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know what you're about to say." Zabuza sighed as he stood slightly straighter. "This was my old stomping ground after all…" He frowned for a moment as he attempted to look for what Waltz had detected… "Though… I don't have the range you guys have…"

"5 miles from right ahead…" Chuckled Crypt, once again temporarily slipping into his darker and significantly more homicidal demeanor. "There's three teams of 'em… though it looks like they're splitting up and planning on surrounding us before actually showing up…"

"What should we do?" Haku asked hesitantly while edging away from the homicidal man. He was practically leaking solid killing intent at this point. "Should we fight?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Pretend that we didn't know they were coming until an appropriate time." Waltz sighed as he continued to walk forward. "Diplomacy, logic, and negotiation first… then bribery, intimidation, and blackmail… then blatant violence." He listed in a casual tone.

"It's amusing how you can actually list those things off so easily without any restraint." Zabuza chuckled as he began moving again, not at all worried about how things could turn out in the next few minutes.

"It's mostly because I'm very practiced in many of those skills." The old man responded in equal light heartedness.

"Aww." Crypt pouted, already insane again. "Boring ways are boring! Noises make people make more noises… and not the fun ones that do stuff, either! It's the boring ones!"

"Crypt-san…" Haku spoke up hesitantly, somewhat knowing what she was doing after spending so long living in the same building as the insane clan. "The floor doesn't like the boring noises either… you could use them to catch it off guard later… when we're not in Kiri anymore…"

The immortal paused. "The floor, you say? The nefarious summoner of second hand dentures? Hmm… an intriguing proposition… I must consider this option for the sake of the corn husks… the cafeteria ladies will be intrigued with this…"

"In the meantime, we can deal with the situation without bloodshed." Waltz sighed and stressing the last two words.

"Tell that to the guys we're about to run into." Zabuza rolled his eyes. "At least we're near the village. Judging from where we are, I'd say that those guys after us are closer to Kiri then they are to us."

"By the way… other than the friends and family of the shinobi you killed during your attempted coup, would there happen to be other groups in Kiri that are out for your head? Aside than those who simply want to kill you for glory, fame, or your sword of course." The eldest asked casually.

"Well, there's the family and friends of the guys I killed that were sent after me for one." The other sword user began to list of in an equally care free tone. "Then there's the guys who had always believed me to be some kind of power hungry psycho because of my killing abilities mixed with my friendship with Yagura. Then there are possibly those who don't trust me because I 'betrayed' Yagura, so they might think I would do it again… Then there's old man Ringo, who runs all the bars…"

"You never paid the tab there, did you." Waltz laughed.

"Zabuza's said on multiple occasions that he wouldn't willingly go back to Kiri unless he had enough to pay Ringo back, or else he would be murdered by the next drink he has in town." Haku stated casually.

"The bastard was the resident poison master when he was still on the job and has a fairly large hand in information trading." The man moaned reluctantly. "Everyone knows that he pretty much owns all the bars in the city… even if it isn't legally. No one is dumb enough to willingly piss him off and try to get a drink without something horrible happening to him."

"I gather that you have some way to get out of this then, considering that you're still indebted to Scab." Waltz mused.

"Gonna try to get their info circles to overlap a bit." Zabuza shrugged. "Ringo doesn't get much from sources outside of town last time I checked. A few new whispers from different voices might be enough for him to not slip something in my drinks while I'm here."

"Good luck with that…" Haku grunted, knowing exactly how bad her adoptive father could be when he got a few drinks in him.

"Be careful." Waltz mused. "Being the between man for information organizations is a dangerous position to be in. Take it from a geezer who's seen some nasty things… it's more than easy to stick you into very dangerous situations."

"I'll keep that in mind." The swordsman nodded.

"So when we have time off, what should we do?" Haku asked. "I mean, it's not like any one of us is welcome in the village at the moment. If we show up at the wrong place, it could end very poorly for us…"

"Yes… but I am still an absurdly huge old man with arms the size of small trees and diplomatic immunity." Waltz smiled gently. "I'm fairly certain that the locals, shinobi or not, will leave me alone so long as I leave them alone." He shrugged. "And if that doesn't work, I can always just maim Crypt in front of them to get the point across. That always tends to work out pretty well…"

"Only you guys can get something productive out of your inhumane family relationship." Zabuza shook his head. "Honestly, you have to be crazy or left without options in order to willingly stay so close to one another."

"That still doesn't explain what you are going to do, Zabuza." Haku interjected. The group knew that going anywhere alone in Kiri was a foolish move. Haku did not have any real place to visit, having grown up in a farming village and been hidden in Kiri for a short amount of time before they ran away again, and as far as she knew, her clan was wiped out completely. She was used to having the man lead her around blind from time to time… but in Kiri, that was likely to get them killed.

The wrapped man shrugged. "Nothing, really. Probably just going to drag a few ANBU here to come with me to the nearest watering hole after I sort things out with Ringo, get shit faced and brag to everyone a few hundred times about how I cut off Kisame's arm and trade some fighting stories…"

Haku wept as she held her head in her hands. "I honestly don't know how I'm going to manage to keep everyone from killing you while we're here…" She jerked slightly as her awareness caught up with her.

"'Bout time you noticed." Zabuza smirked. "So what do you guys think we should do? Keep going and play ignorant or call them out?"

"I say we make an origami pygmy." Giggled Crypt.

"We keep going for now… however, it would be wise to stop after a certain point." Waltz mused. "If we ignore them for too long, they will probably catch on to us and become irritate…"

"Pretend they never existed the entire time it is." Zabuza grinned under his wraps, causing Haku to groan again.

Two hours later:

The four from Konoha stood in front of Mei Terumi, who was less than eager to see them if the twitch in her eyebrow was anything to go by. "I heard that there were some problems upon your arrival to the village." She stated calmly from her desk.

"I had no part in this." Haku grunted, glaring at Zabuza who was still smirking under his bandages.

"It's not my fault that those idiots did nothing but try to hide from us." The swordsman shrugged. "If they wanted to escort us, they could have just made themselves known instead of cowering the entire time. I wasn't going to call out a bunch of no names who didn't have the brains to know when they were being flat out ignored and play their stupid game."

Mei frowned. "Still, that did not give you reason to antagonize the shinobi at the front gates…"

Zabuza shook his head. "Nah, I did that because Ryuk and Saito still owed me money from way back." He paused as he saw the look the woman gave him. "Hey, if you knew what I've had to do for my cash these past few years, you'd expect me to shake down a few chumps too…"

The rest of the room in the room sweatdropped. "You're not making this easy, Zabuza." Mei shook her head before giving him a halfhearted smile. "It's good to see you none the less… For those of you who do not know, I am the Fifth Mizukage, Mei Terumi."

"Waltz Ōgakari, my lady." The old man bowed his massive and hunched frame before whacking Crypt so he fell down as well. "This headache is my grandson, Crypt Ōgakari."

"Haku Momochi, Mizukage-sama." The ice user bowed politely.

"It's good to see you too, Mei." Zabuza shrugged, not at all showing any respect. "You lost weight."

Crunch. Stab.

"Care to repeat what you just said to Mizukage-sama?" Haku asked her downed mentor while holding several senbon to his neck.

"I said she looks great…" He rasped, not at all regretting what he said after seeing that quick look of unstable rage on the woman's face. She had learned to control her temper dramatically since he had last seen her, but that legendary fury was still clearly within the woman.

"I see that at least your apprentice knows how to behave in front of those with power." The woman twitched before turning to the two Ōgakari. "I must admit though, I did not expect that your traveling companions would be more noticeable then anticipated…"

"We get that fairly often." Waltz chuckled lightly.

"I still haven't gotten my salted peanuts." Crypt pouted.

"Why may I ask was such a… peculiar person chosen to be a member of the first group to try and bridge relations between our two countries?" Mei continued as she watched the unstable man start swaying side to side and bending his spine at odd angles. "He seems a bit…"

"There's no need to beat around the bush, my lady." Waltz stated casually. "Crypt here is the definition of insane." He paused for a moment before whacking the man hard with his staff and flooring him in the process. "He also makes for a good stress relieving object." He poked Crypt with the tip of the wood.

"Tee hee." Said insane man giggled in a high pitched voice like a small infant.

The woman frowned. "If that is the case, then why did Hokage-sama feel it wise to send him?"

A small grin made its way onto the old man's wrinkled face. "I said my grandson is crazy, Mizukage-sama, I never said he was useless."

"Point taken… though given how he behaves, I would like to know some of the ways he is useful rather soon in order to give a decent excuse to the councilors here." Mei shook her head in a resigned fashion.

"In time." The old man chuckled. "I must say though, even though I have not seen much of your village yet, your home is rather remarkable. How do you manage to ensure that no water born insects and diseases infect the general populace when there is such an abundant amount of fresh water here?"

"Old man, ask the random questions after the business part is done." Zabuza shook his head as he got back up.

"Now, now Zabuza, there are some things I would like to know as well." Mei smiled. "It would take too long to answer that question in detail, so I will give you the short answer and say that we have a wide range of ninjutsu that manage our water here. How are the Hokage fairing? Tsunade-sama has still only recently gone into office, and Sarutobi-sama is rather elderly."

"The geezer and the hag are doing all right." Zabuza shrugged as he got back up. "Last time I checked, he was decking Kakashi around all the training grounds in the village and she was still punching Jiraiya through her office window every time he showed up."

Mei's eyes sparkled. "Two of the Sannin, the God of Shinobi, and Sharingan Kakashi… you seem to be familiar with some very prominent people, Zabuza. I'm impressed. You never really passed as a social person to me." ' _From the way he spoke so casually about them, he is quite close to some very significant shinobi in Konoha… there's a good chance that they are involved in this anti-Akatsuki group if my intuition is correct…'_

"Funny, you never passed as someone who had the nerve or the ability to kill Yagura to me, either." The swordsman snorted.

Haku took out several senbon again. "I can put him in a near death state if you want." She stated bluntly. "He tends to regain consciousness quickly, but his body would be numb for the better part of a week. I've also recently learned how to paralyze his jaw muscles so he won't speak for a few days."

The woman's darkened face rose up with a gentle smile. "Thank you, Haku, but it is fine for now. It is rather refreshing to be talked to so… casually after taking office. I'll have to converse with you more frequently…" Her radiance increased. "In private preferably…"

"Man who makes dead things dead is dead soon." Crypt whispered. "The Crypt knows. The Crypt knoooooowwwwsss… gasp! A flower pot! The secrets that it can possess…"

"You know… I would blame my lack of judgment on spending too much time with you guys… but even so, I don't regret this at all." Zabuza laughed darkly at the smiling woman.

"Oh?" Mei asked. "You seem rather confident, Zabuza. I have heard that you did rather well in the sword master tournament. Perhaps your recent victory has given you confidence in case we were to have analtercation?"

Haku swallowed heavily as she saw the demon representing Zabuza's Presence slowly emerge from behind the man. "Zabuza… what are you doing?"

"Nah…" The Demon of the Mist chuckled. "I'm just remembering some very interesting things…"

The Mizukage rose an eyebrow, not at all intimidated by one of Zabuza's trademark tricks. "Oh? They must be rather amusing. Care to let us know what they are?"

The man's grin was shown clearly through his wrappings. "Oh… just some numbers… 3 of them, if I remember correctly… pretty old ones too…" The calm demeanor on the woman's face dropped instantly. "Now if I remember correctly…"

"Don't… you… dare." The brunette stated in a near murderous tone. "How do you even know…"

"Hohohoh…" Waltz chuckled from the side. "Ah… he's playing that game… It's been a while since I've seen someone pull this off… though it's never been done with a woman in such a high position of power before…" He laughed again. "Be careful, boy. You're playing with some dangerous fire there…"

"I seem to recall a certain woman getting plastered on more than one occasion nearly a decade back…" The assassin sighed nonchalantly. "She was rather quiet normally, but once she got buzzed, it was near impossible to get a word into the conversation…" He put on a thoughtful expression. "Now let's see, the first number was… 108? No… that was the hag, if Jiraiya can be believed… yours was a little less, if I remember correctly…"

"Zabuza…" The Mizukage growled as the air around her wavered from the amount of heat her body was generating. "Shut up… or war be damned, I will kill you."

The swordsman chuckled as he rose his hands in surrender and backed away. "Fine. Fine." He glanced at Waltz and Crypt. "I can see why you guys do this so much back in Konoha… it's fun as hell."

"Yes… however, one must always know where the proverbial line of no return is…" Waltz sighed. "It's easier to push the limits when you maim your own in front of others rather than insulting the leader in person though… though in this case, it does help that you are familiar with Mizukage-sama as well…"

Mei took in a few breaths to calm herself down before making a few seals to silence the room and taking out the scroll that Scabbard had sent her several weeks beforehand. "I believe we have had enough casual conversation for now. Onto the real reason why you are here." She stated in an all business tone, though the glare in her eye she had for Zabuza was still clearly there. "The room is sealed and the ANBU remaining in here are among my top guard. Any secret in here, they will keep to the grave. A member of your village, Scabbard Ōgakari, gave this to me during the event near Iron regarding the Sanbi shortly before it was delivered to my men and myself several weeks ago. I have little doubt you have already been informed of it…"

"I was there, Mei." Zabuza deadpanned. "I know what happened and trust me when I say this, these guys know just as much as I do."

"Crypt and I are members of the same clan as Scab." Waltz stated lightly.

"I see…" Mei frowned as she looked at the old and insane men respectively. If they were related to the newly dubbed Hill of Blades, then they must both be extremely formidable in their own way… though it was hard to imagine the man rolling on the ground having the time of his life a danger to anyone. "That makes things simpler. You know that Kiri now has the Sanbi again as well as majority of the 7 Swordsmen's weapons. We are already in the process of training the next generation of 7 Swordsmen as we speak. Regarding the Sanbi, however…"

"Scab has informed you about Akatsuki." The former swordsmen mused. "Making some fresh jinchūriki is out of the question since there's no way a decent one can be brought up in less than 3 years, so we have to improvise."

"I see that you are aware of our dilemma." Mei nodded. "Apparently you are involved in a covert program to prevent the bijū from falling into the hands of these men… one of whom manipulated my predecessor." She leaned forward and interlaced her fingers in front of her face, as Zabuza gave her the smallest of nods to confirm her statement. "No doubt since you are stationed in Konoha and from recent events, I can assume that Suna and portions of Kumo are involved in this as well…"

"Told you she'd figure that much out." Zabuza chuckled to the others, not at all trying to hide the fact that she was right.

"Indeed. Your descriptions of her ability are not to be taken lightly, it seems." Waltz chuckled, also not caught off guard in the slightest.

"I like waffles and pancakes… but I don't like French toast…" Crypt wept to no one in particular. "I don't know who I am anymore!"

"If we are allowed to tour around the village… I suggest you make our guide one that has a wide tolerance for peculiar behavior… for his sake." Haku sighed.

The Kiri shinobi in the room sweatdropped. "I… see." The woman nodded, not exactly liking the fact that her deductions were disregarded so casually. "Well… since you are so familiar with Scabbard… you no doubt know what his potential options for the Sanbi are then…"

The three (Crypt was still crying hysterically in a corner) paused before looking at one another skeptically. "Beats me." Zabuza shrugged.

"If Zabuza doesn't know, there's no way I would." Haku looked around confused.

"Now that you mentioned it… he didn't mention it to the family either…" Waltz mused while stroking his beard slowly and glancing at the scroll Mei took out. "Normally when he keeps plans hidden from everyone… it's because it involves rather… demeaning and unfortunate events for others…"

There was a long period of silence as the words rang through everyone's head before the group from Konoha slowly turned to Zabuza, as if knowing that something bad was going to happen to him soon. The man in question merely stood in place and tried to set the scroll he was looking at on fire with his mind. "I… Hate… Him… SO much… and I don't even know what he's planned to do to me yet."

Mei looked at the group confused. "I take it that Zabuza and Scabbard do not get along?"

"Their relationship is rather… unique…" Waltz laughed nervously. "Let's just leave it at that…" ' _Sucks to be you, boy. I'm not getting my wrinkled ass experimented on this time, to hell with that…'_ "Now about those plans for the Sanbi…"

Mei nodded slowly before unraveling the paper. "Well, your clan member had 3 possible plans for the beast with regards to Akatsuki. The first two involved using it as bait or as a trap to capture or find more data on the group. Both simple in concept, but rather difficult in execution, given that we are dealing with a wild bijū…" She hesitated as she looked at Zabuza. "The third way…" She paused before handing them the paper. "Well, it's best for you to read it for yourself…"

The four looked at one another somewhat anxiously before walking to the desk and reading the parchment. Slowly the faces of the 4 warriors turned to extremes of a particular emotion. Haku and Zabuza both were in extreme shock and disbelief. Waltz was controlled amusement…

"You… have got to be shitting me…" The swordsman gaped, his previous lax demeanor completely gone.

"I-Impossible…" Haku whispered.

"Ah… yes… truly a unique plan…" Waltz nodded understandingly. "This is definitely something only Scab would be able to come up with…"

Crypt on the other hand was down just plain giddy as he chuckled uncontrollably. "Keheheheh… and people say I'm the insane one in the family…"

"I was told that if I called Zabuza here as an envoy from Konoha with diplomatic immunity, he would be sent with the appropriate individuals to complete this third task." Mei commented, taking in the reactions of the 4 in front of her. She herself didn't think that such a thing was possible at first, but given the reactions of the people in front of her, it seemed as if her initial assumptions were incorrect. "Should you all agree to this… how long would it take you to set everything up?"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Danzō stood in front of 4 of his agents with an emotionless mask. Stern. Serious. And no doubt deadly. "You three no doubt have received your mission from the Hokage to aid and support in the task of recapturing the Gobi jinchūriki along with several other escaped Iwa convicts." He stated in his raspy voice. "Your given goal is to do just that… however, there are elements to that mission you are not aware of. For the benefit of Konoha, I am here to instruct and inform you on these issues. You will follow them to the letter."

"Yes, Danzō-sama." The 4 warriors chanted at once.

"Your first task is to analyze and obtain any information on Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, and Sakura Haruno." The man stated calmly. "These three have been involved in activities that are concerning to the future of the village. Should they display or say anything concerning, I want you to make note of it immediately. Do NOT, under any circumstance other than blatant treason, confront them, and even then, only do so if you are certain that you can frame the Iwa escapees in the process flawlessly. All 3 of them are prominent or extremely potential members of the village, and acting on them prematurely will cause nothing but issues for us." His good eye twitched barely as his warriors nodded in understanding.

"Your second task, involving elements not mentioned in your mission report, is to protect the group of genin and chūnin returning from the Land of Moon, led by our own jinchūriki, to the best of your abilities. It is speculated that the Gobi jinchūriki has been informed of Uzumaki's relationship to the Yondaime Hokage, which is why he is stationed in the area you are to search in the first place. With him is your fellow junior member Sai, along with several clan heirs and heiresses. All of the shinobi under the jinchūriki's command have shown potential to be significant members of Konoha's forces in the coming years. This is the true reason why we are teaming with Iwa shinobi for this mission." His eye opened slightly more. "Should you see any of the foreign shinobi, be it an escapee or ally show signs of deceit, deal with them as you see fit."

The 4 nodded again. The command was not unexpected. They all had done high level assassination missions before in other countries.

"Your third task…" Danzō concluded. "Is to eliminate the Gobi. Ensure that it is done in a way that cannot be blamed on Konoha. By making so that Iwa loses one of its jinchūriki, we can solidify our position of power over them for the time being. Any concerns?"

"Danzō-sama…" One of the masked men stated. "You mentioned that there was a unique relationship between our jinchūriki and Yondaime-sama. Do you mean that the rumors are true?"

"Yes." The man confirmed without wasting any time to think. "The Kyūbi jinchūriki is the son of Namikaze. This fact is held in even higher secret than his identity as a jinchūriki. Ironically, from our sources it seems that his lineage is speculated among Iwa and not his identity as the demon container." His eye narrowed only barely. "Obviously, this information is not to be told to anyone, under penalty of torture and execution."

"Of course." Nodded another of the masked individuals.

"You all have received details about your mission. Memorize them." The wrapped man stated. "Dismissed." Quickly, all 4 members of ROOT disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving the man seemingly alone.

"Danzō-sama… are you sure it is wise to conduct such a mission?" Asked a bright haired man as he separated himself from the shadows of the room. "You yourself have frequently stressed that we must distance ourselves from the Ōgakari and those they associate themselves with."

"Indeed I have, Fū…" Danzō confirmed as Fū's Aburame partner Torune also made himself known. "However, we have been given a rare opportunity. A significant number of the shinobi under that clan's care are outside their supervision and are soon to be placed in a very dire situation. It is a good time to observe them to the fullest to determine their abilities and worth to the village without getting caught by that infernal clan. There are things that Sai may have missed during the mission, and observing them in a high stress situation may yield significant information to our cause. In addition to that, as I have said, it is an excellent opportunity to weaken the military strength of Iwa."

Fū nodded. "I see… I must admit, I too am somewhat curious as to how my cousin and her… companions would fare in such a situation…"

The leader of ROOT made no indication of hearing the man as he turned to his second aid. "Torune, how is the mission I gave to you and your men faring?"

The Aburame bowed. "There is progress since last you checked, my lord. Should we run into no problems, there is estimation that we should make contact within the next two weeks."

Danzō nodded. "Good. Keep me updated on your progress and do not let the target escape." He began to walk to his office, down one of the many identical corridors. His grasp on the internal workings of Konoha had weakened noticeably recently thanks to the Ōgakari. He dared not risk using his eye in the council room since they apparently knew of it, and as such several motions that would have subtly aided his efforts were denied. He had to be more subtle against this wildcard clan… though it did not mean that he did not gather information on them as well.

Gaara of the Desert, Yugito Nii, Rōshi of Iwa, Fū of Taki, Bee Killer… Naruto Uzumaki… within less than 2 years, two-thirds of the jinchūriki in existence had in one way or another been in contact with the clan in some far too convenient way. He had no doubt that it had something to do with that group Akatsuki he had been hearing about… rumor had it that they were after jinchūriki for some reason. By taking out the Gobi, Danzō would ensure that he would disrupt both group's plans, and use this opening to somehow expand his influence once more, perhaps by using his eye on Rōshi or another Iwa emissary. The key was to work in the fields that the Ōgakari did not bother to look at, and do so subtly. The process would take years to truly manifest itself into something that could enable him to surpass his previous influence in the village, but he could wait. He had always waited.

o. o. o.

Iwa:

"Well now, this certainly is an interesting turn of events, isn't it?" Mused the nameless average looking shinobi to Kurotsuchi as they gathered at the entrance of the village.

"Fascinating." The teen sighed in a clearly disinterested tone. "Just because I felt sorry for you that one time and gave you that freebie…"

"Oh, you've suddenly gone shy now?" The casual man laughed, shifting his ANBU gear. "This isn't because you're the Tsuchikage's granddaughter now, is it? A name can really only get you so far in this world… even if it's linked to a Kage's."

The teen glared at the young man. The hidden meaning in their conversation was only known to them… though it was irritating to her either way she interpreted it. "After finally getting some stability in my life, I've decided that running my mouth, getting drunk all the time, and doing stupid shit is probably something I should avoid doing for now." She shrugged and smirked. "You, on the other hand, I don't care about. Go on and do whatever the hell you want, just leave me out of it. I hope you catch something in the process. I'm fairly certain you'll do just fine with those other bitches you have under your needle of a dick."

The man snorted as he put on a mask resembling a lizard's with sharp teeth, clearly understanding that she wasn't going to help him kill the Namikaze, but she wasn't going to stop him either. "A shame. And here I was thinking I had something going with the Tsuchikage's last living blood relative. Ah, oh well. So much for having the good life. It's a good thing neither one of us is one to kiss and tell, right?"

The female rolled her eyes. "Who would want to talk about kissing you?"

"Oi!" The leading Iwa ANBU roared at the two. "Are you two fuck buddies done swapping favorite positions yet? We have a job to do here! It's bad enough that we have to involve Konoha in this mission to retrieve Han. I don't want to have to go about listening to you foreplay the entire time too!"

"Sorry sir! It won't happen again!" 'Lizard' bowed apologetically.

"With regards to me, at least." Kurotsuchi muttered under her breath. She wasn't in a good mood for a number of reasons. Sure, her training had given her some decent results so far and she had a lot more spending money, but that paled in contrast with all the shit she was getting in comparison. First of all, she had to get a ton of more lessons in etiquette than she ever wanted or believed could exist, then there were all the nobles and other pricks that wanted to 'court' her just because of her grandfather. The perverted old geezer still didn't treat her that well, though it was only reasonable since she treated him like crap too. Probably ran in the family. Thank god she didn't inherit the nose…

…But above all else, this mission took the cake. She REALLY didn't want to get tempted by being near the Namikaze now, but unfortunately, Ōnoki seemed to think that this would be an excellent test for her. Oh sure, the blonde boy wasn't mentioned at all in the mission briefing, but she knew that Han was gunning for the kid. She knew for a fact that if the brat died and people thought that she was anywhere near him at said time, she would be Ōnoki's first suspect. That didn't help, considering that the person most likely to kill him was right next to her. Her guess was that her dear friend would be stalling the hell out of both groups, leading them on wild goose chases in the wrong direction from where the kid and Han were. In the off chance that they got to the kid before Han, she assumed that he'd just poison Namikaze while no one was looking or something else retarded like that.

Still, if she was honest with herself… she had family now, and she liked it somehow. Even if it consisted of an overpowered gnome… it was family, and surprisingly, it was enough. She had been run into the ground so hard these past few months that she really didn't give a damned about the Namikaze now so long as he wasn't in her face all the time. This of course meant that she wouldn't go out of her way to save him, but she could proudly say now that she wasn't fantasizing about killing 13 year old blonde boys anymore…

Yeah. Realizing that she had been doing something as stupid as that had also prompted her into stepping away from revenge. Fantasizing about killing enemies, sure. Killing kids in particular… that normally warranted you to be checked into the psyche ward and taken off duty for two weeks, regardless of which village you were a part of.

Turning around, Kurotsuchi saw said grandfather looking down at the leaving group… no, he was looking at her. Once again, she reminded herself that her future was as much on the line as Han's was… though to be honest, she wouldn't be putting any money on Han's chances of getting a good ending after all of this.

Moments later, she and 11 other shinobi were running through the mountain ranges heading south east…

o. o. o.

Kiri:

Zabuza, Haku, and the ANBU escort that was with them did not say anything as they walked into a fairly seedy bar on the outskirts of the village. The former of the three didn't pay attention to the looks and whispers of the people who recognized him as he walked straight to the bar. The air was thick with the smoke of cigars, tobacco, drugs and alcohol. The latter of which he really needed at the moment as the swordsman sat on a stool right in front of the counter and waited for the bartender to come to him. His escorts took the seats to either side. Within moments, the area around them was void of the locals.

Almost 15 minutes passed without anyone talking to him before a new elderly tender appeared and walked with a gape in his step to the three. The average sized geezer had a completely bald head and a kindly grin, but his eyes were squinted shut, making people wonder how he saw anything at all. "Well, here's a face I didn't expect to see here again." He chuckled in a raspy voice as he addressed the strongest of the three. "I've heard quite a few stories about you lately, Zabuza…"

"I'm going to need some of the strongest stuff you have here, Ringo." The assassin stated in a tired tone, his eyes unusually somber. "I don't give a damn if you laced it or not."

The bartender's right eye opened slightly with curiosity. "You had the same look in your eyes the last time I saw you. The next day, you tried to kill Yagura." He said in an airy, nostalgic tone before turning around and looking at his stock. "I'll be with you in just a moment."

"Zabuza… are you sure about drinking here?" Haku asked warily, noting all the shinobi glaring at them and fingering their kunai. "This does not seem like the safest place to be at the moment…"

"That's why I brought you along, Haku." Zabuza droned. "It wouldn't be the first time you've had to drag my drunk ass out of a bar filled with ninja before."

"A bar, not an entire shinobi village…" The girl corrected in a tight tone.

"Here it is…" Ringo chuckled lightly as he took out a bottle of expensive looking wine. "One of the best brews in the village… on the house, since it's been so long since you're such an old friend." He pulled it back from Zabuza's stretching hand. "Just as soon as you answer me one small question, Zabuza…"

"You know damned well that there's an ANBU right next to me, Ringo." The man glared at the poison specialist.

"Humor me." Ringo smiled. "Remember that little theory you had told me about the last time we met? Have you made any progress on it?"

"That's two, you raisin." Zabuza stated before leaning back on his stool and recalling his last conversation with the old man. "And yeah… to both of them. It's part of the reason why I'm in Konoha, actually."

"I see…" The old man's eyes narrowed again before his shoulders slumped and he finally handed over the bottle. "I'm glad to see you again… however, if you plan on coming by once more, I hope you realize that you will have to pay your tab first…"

"I was planning on talking to you about that later." The assassin nodded as he cut off the top of the bottle with a seemingly lazy chop and drank straight from the bottle. "Circles crossing circles and all that crap."

"I see…" The man smiled slightly. "Well, at least it seems you came prepared when you decided to visit me again." He turned to Haku and the ANBU. "Ah… forgive me. I was so busy talking to Zabuza that I forgot your orders…"

"Just some light wine, please." Haku asked politely.

"Water, old man. You know we can't drink on the job." The masked individual grunted irritably.

"Well, if it isn't the Demon of the Mist." Chuckled an obviously drunk man as he swaggered with his friends up to the clearly emotionally tired Zabuza. "I heard the rumors that you were actually in Konoha, but to actually see you wearing the hippie's protector… man, the world really has turned on its ass…"

"Don't even get me started on how screwed things are." The wrapped man grunted as he drank some more of the hard liquor. It really was good stuff. Even if it was on the house, he'd probably give the old man a few dozen ryō for the bottle just to say thanks. He could have easily been given an expensive shitty drink instead.

"If you have any business with Zabuza, please put it off for later." The ANBU stated in an authoritative tone. "He is an emissary from Konoha, with all of the rights and _protections_ thereof." Just in case his 'subtle' hint flew over the idiot's head, the ANBU made a point of unbuttoning his kunai holster. The drunk stopped advancing on Zabuza, but unfortunately, he wasn't intimidated (or smart) enough to keep his mouth shut.

"Tch." The man snorted. "You're just going to let this traitor walk all over town in spite what he's done? The prick killed my brother! His fellow villager, in cold blood!"

"I've killed a lot of people, dumbass. Odds were they were someone's brother or sister at some point. Idiot should have gotten out of my way when I was coming." The demon commented before glancing back lazily. "Hmm… sorry, your face doesn't ring any bells… so your brother must have been a pretty quick kill."

"Zabuza…" Haku whispered nervously. "Please slow down. We just got here…"

"You… not only took my family away from me… but you spit on his grave, too?" The unnamed man raged as the object of his rage simply turned around and began to drink again.

"Shinobi. Sit down." The ANBU commanded as he stood up, already preparing for a confrontation. Inwardly, he sighed. He hated this part of the job.

Village security and policing was important, sure, but even when his charge _wasn't_ provoking everyone around him for kicks, there were always some fools that just didn't know when to stop. They were like those annoying little dogs, always running around, barking constantly, and biting everything around them. They just wouldn't stop until they pissed off something big enough and mean enough to _make_ them stop…

Though he was pretty sure it was pointless in this situation, the ANBU continued reciting his warning. "If you continue to persist, you will be forcibly subdued and arrested for attacking a foreign dignitary and attempting to damage international relations…"

"Keyword: Attempting." Zabuza snorted, already somewhat intoxicated. "Just a month ago, I lopped off Kisame's arm and fought the Raikage's brother in these huge ass battles… now I'm getting talked down to by some no name who doesn't know where the sharp end of a kunai is. I thought people would get the hint by now…"

"Hoh?" Ringo mused as he delivered the drinks to Zabuza's companions. "So that really did happen? I'm impressed, Zabuza. You've certainly improved since you were last here…" He glanced at the modified sword on the man's back. "Or was it because of the new alterations to Kubikiri Hōchō that I've heard so much about…?"

"Want me to piss off these guys enough see for yourself, old man?" The assassin grinned. "I won't pay for the damages if you say yes."

"Does that mean if I say no and you still fight them, you will pay the expenses?" Ringo tilted his head to the side in a wryly manner.

"Maybe. I'm fairly certain there's a limit to how much Konoha will cover my trips here." The ex-resident snorted. "Smashed bars might be a bit over the limit, even for a shithole like this one. I'm fairly certain I saw some marks on the walls back from the last time I was here."

The old man chuckled. "Yes, this building has seen better days, hasn't it? Now, if you did tear the place up… that'd be a good excuse to do some remodeling, wouldn't it…?"

"Zabuza…" Haku repeated warily, seeing as the man ignoring of the crowd behind him was further instigating their behavior.

"It's fine, Haku." The swordsman grunted. "This bar is the old man's original watering hole. He always has more than a few decent blades on hand here…" He didn't bother to look around. He had already spotted the local shinobi that were most likely said hired help as he walked in.

"Ah, true." The old man chuckled. "However… say I wanted to see you in action after so long…"

"I'd have to consider it a good part of my payment for the tab, old man." Snorted the drunk man as he drank some more. "… or at least another bottle of this stuff."

"Well, that would depend on what you show me…" Ringo mused.

"That so?" The man rose an eyebrow muscle before turning around to look at the group of men still glaring at him, on the verge of attempting to blow past the single ANBU escort and rip him apart. "… Remember that trick I had that earned me my title as Demon of the Hidden Mist?"

"Of course." The old man nodded. "A killing intent so potent that it naturally produced the illusion of a demon's head floating behind you. It was quite impressive."

"Yeah… it was… at the time." Said demon began to drink again… and in the process slowly increased his Presence, making the bar quiet as the familiar ghostly image of a demon's head appeared above him, though far more detailed than before, its skin and several additional horns being clearly seen … followed by a chest and arms, all extremely powerful looking. The monstrous illusion glared down on the unnerved group of men with slit mist blue eyes as it grinned menacingly, clearly enjoying the fear of the group, who were now trying to decide to fight or flee. "Despite being full of fucking hippies… those Leaf bastards are pretty useful at times. I've learned quite a few useful things since moving there." The assassin chuckled lightly in contrast to the smothering Presence he was giving off.

"Hoh…" Ringo raised an eyebrow as he looked at the phenomenon from behind. ' _To be intoxicated yet still hold such a focus to murder… one that clearly surpasses anything he could have produced those years ago… plus, he seemed troubled when he originally walked in. I wonder what happened that would get underneath his skin like this…'_ He glanced at the girl from Konoha that had come with Zabuza. Judging from the way they had spoken earlier, she was very familiar with him and had been with him for a while. She didn't seem to be nearly as affected by this display of raw intent as everyone else was.

Slowly, the feeling of imminent death being focused on them got the better of the small mob of shinobi. One by one, step by step, they retreated, exiting the building in a cold sweat, rushing out the last few feet before the door. By the sound, they were still accelerating as they stepped outside, and showed no signs of slowing down.

The ANBU had only fared slightly better and was frozen in place as the monstrosity slowly faded from view. Breathing a sigh of relief as the feeling died down, he walked back to the bar. He had rarely been more annoyed that he couldn't drink on duty.

"That certainly is something interesting to behold…" Ringo mused slowly as the image and the malevolent sensation that came with it faded away. "However, it is only a display of how much you like to kill. I'm afraid I can only give you a few shots for that…"

"Tch." Snorted the assassin as he turned around again. "Figures…"

The old man turned to Haku. "Tell me, young one… I may be rude in asking so bluntly, but are you by chance the mysterious assistant that Zabuza here had during his time on the run?" He grinned wryly as the girl's body underwent the process of going into a controlled state, something most shinobi do when attempting to not let their body language reveal secrets. "I have to ask because I have some things that would interest that individual greatly should they have the time…" He laughed. "Also, I know quite a few shinobi who owe their lives to that person as well. I can't tell you how many drunks have told me stories about the ice user following Zabuza who was just as likely to put his pursuers in a false death state as he was to kill them…"

"Haku… I've said it once, I'll say it a thousand times… you are too much of a pussy for your own good." Zabuza grunted. "Give her the stuff whenever you feel like it, old man. I know you helped out the resistance while I was gone. You always loved hanging around bloodline users."

"Zabuza…" Haku hissed warily. Civil war over or not, the idea of revealing her heritage in Kiri still unnerved the girl to no end.

"Now, now." The old man laughed. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I will send your gift to the Mizukage's residence so she can forward it to you."

"Ah… thank you." Haku hesitantly bowed.

"You're being unusually soft, old man… the hell happened?" Zabuza grunted. "Normally you'd charge an arm and a leg for that kind of stuff. Most people in your business would."

Ringo sighed. "I'm old, Zabuza. I don't have the time I used to have to be able to play with the minds of everyone I talk to. I've seen more customers come and go than I should. I can still remember you and Yagura as kids… twisted little buggers, running around the rough areas of town and causing trouble for everyone… but inseparable." He shook his head. "What happened to you two… to Kiri… it was a farce that spat on the faces of everyone here… but I can tell you still won't leave it alone…" He frowned and leaned forward, his voice deepening in the process. "And from what I've heard… our troubles are still far from over." His posture relaxed again. "So I decided that unlike last time, I would be more… proactive, more or less." One of his eyes opened slightly. "So then, I must ask… what will happen to your dear friend's legacy?"

The swordsman and his companions froze for a moment before the former chuckled and drank some more. "Shouldn't be surprised that you know that much at least…" He grunted. "We were actually talking about that a few hours ago…"

"Zabuza." The ANBU growled. "Should you speak any more on the subject, I will have to incarcerate you for possible treason to both Konoha and Kiri."

"I see…" The old man ignored the ANBU. "So that is why you are in such a mood. The most likely and tempting option is rather distasteful, even for you." Both his eyes opened so that his small irises pierced the assassin with his gaze.

"Among other things." The drunk man slurred, slumped over.

"… It seems you've regained some humanity and humility since last I saw you." The smaller man commented.

"Somehow." Zabuza snorted.

"Well…" Sighed Ringo as his demeanor relaxed once more. "I'm clearly not informed enough to tell you what the right decision is… apparently, it's up to you, from how under the table you are already. The only thing I can do is give you some free, nice old man advice. I won't say do what you think is right… we all know how that turned out the last time you did that here… but I will suggest you think about what your options are… and how your comrades, dead or alive, would feel about each option. Don't feel as if they would judge you or treat you differently because of what you will do. Think about their honest opinion… and do the ends justify the means…"

The swordsman looked up with glazed eyes. "Are you sure you have no idea what the hell my problem is, old man?"

Ringo laughed. "You'd be surprised how well that speech works for any shinobi stuck with a hard decision of this nature." He began to walk away. "I'll tell the boys here to let you stay as long as you want… though you will have to pay for any more drinks you order. It was a pleasure to talk to you and meet your apprentice. I hope we can do this again soon."

"… Whatever…" Zabuza sighed as he looked down again, ignoring the looks of concern and curiosity many other people were giving him.

He didn't leave the bar until it was almost morning the next day.

o. o. o.

Moon:

"Ah. I cannot believe that you are leaving so soon…" Michiru sighed as he walked with Naruto between some of the buildings of the now active seaside town again.

"Same here." Naruto nodded as he recalled the previous 2 weeks on the island. The boy had done pretty much everything and then some during the time. He had been kicked out of at least 5 casinos after nearly bankrupting all of them. The ramen pool was still out of reach, but he was fairly certain he had enough for a ramen jacuzzi now…

He had swam, he had tanned, he had taken in the sights… he had also of course pampered Hinata to the point that she was just as out of reality as he was when she flaunted her body in front of him…

He had also participated in the circus and had in the process summoned Ma and Pa just for kicks. The crowd loved them… but the two 800 year old toads had given him a beating afterwards. Still, Michiru had promised them a small little vacation hovel in the mountains near the castle for them whenever they decided to come and visit, as well as order them any rare 'delicacies' every once in a while, so everything evened out at the end. Salt water wasn't good for them, so the beaches were out, but the local streams and small lakes were more than enough to appease them due to the view they got… of course, said romantic view had spurred on a new argument between them about when was the last time Pa took Ma out to somewhere romantic for their anniversary and etc etc…

But the thing that he possibly enjoyed most was when he went to a private beach and summoned his parents. They had spent the entire day there just relaxing and being a family for once without a care in the world. No ninja. No bijū. No Ōgakari. No worries. It was their first real family vacation, and all three of them treasured it immensely.

"Hikaru is spending a lot of time with the guards and the circus folks." Michiru smiled. "He's been practicing his archery a lot and playing with Cham and Kiki…"

The blonde shook his head and snorted. "I can see it now. Kids will be calling his bluff when he says that he's friends with a saber-toothed tiger and a monkey, and then he backs it up." He looked at the King. "So when are you going to see Amayo?"

The fat man sighed and scratched the back of his head. "I've been so busy lately trying to get everything the way it once was that I haven't had the time to see her yet. I tried sending her some letters… but I think we both know that the odds of that working weren't that good…"

"Gotta try anyways." The jinchūriki shrugged. "And that kunoichi we captured? What was her name again?"

"I think it was Karenbana." Michiru mused, though one could tell that he did not like the topic of the woman in general. "She's still in the dungeons. I think we're going to try your idea of trying to convert her so she is a guard of the royal family. However, I want her to be severely broken down in the process. She was one of the ones that killed my father and many of my men after all…"

"Just be careful." Naruto advised. "Too much pressure on her is just as bad as too little. Even if her chakra is sealed, she can be extremely dangerous, especially if she snaps. Poison users don't need chakra as much as other shinobi in order to kill after all."

"That's why I'm having her watched constantly." The man nodded. "Even though it may be a slight waste of resources, having a permanent shinobi in the royal guard would be a boon to our military should someone try anything." He looked at the boy. "You know… my offer still stands, Naruto. I could have you and your team stationed here permanently. You've done so much for me and my country already."

The boy laughed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "That does sound good, Michiru, but I'm gonna have to pass. There's still a lot of stuff I have to deal with before I think it's safe to have the easy life. Plus, I wanna try to be Hokage first."

"Ah. Worth a try." The man shrugged as they approached the massive cruise liner that his group was taking back to a port on the mainland. "This is one of the best luxury ships we have. It will take you back home in style, and you won't have to worry about storms in it…" He smirked. "Though I think you might want to try to protect the ship with that odd ability of yours just to say you could…"

"Don't tempt me." The blonde laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Oi Naruto! You gotta check this ship out!" Kiba yelled from the deck of the massive boat. "There's pools and hot tubs and even a freaking water slide up here!"

"Hold on!" The leader grinned before turning to the new King of Moon country. "Well. Mission's done, sir. Hope you and your son have been satisfied by Konoha's shinobi."

Michiru chuckled and patted the boy on the shoulder. "That and then some." He grinned. "I might just hire you guys again soon for something else."

"Naruto!" Hikaru yelled as he and Kiki rode the massive Cham to the two elder males. "Are you really leaving now?"

Naruto nodded somewhat regretfully. "Yeah. I gotta get back home now. Don't worry, though. We'll still be buddies and see each other occasionally. Make sure to try and make some more human friends, too. Cham and Kiki are cool, but it's also nice to have a few that you can understand…"

"You mean like those talking frogs you can summon?" The boy tilted his head to the side curiously.

"Er." The boy stumbled. "Ah… the summoning toads are a bit… special." He scratched his head. "Let's put it this way. Kiba can talk to dogs and he has a lot of them at his clan compound, but even so, he still tries to make friends with normal people when he can." He smiled. "Anyways. The point is that if you have a bunch of good friends, you won't be lonely." He turned to the boat and sighed. "Anyways. I hate long goodbyes. I'll see you guys again. You can count on that." He gave them a confident smirk and began to walk away. "Just don't do stuff that I would do."

As he walked away from his royal bosses, the blonde grinned, knowing that he had managed to get his group through a massive pain in the ass mission. The perks were good. Everything had turned out all right, and he had a great 2 week break… everything was all settled here.

Which was good, because as soon as he got back to Konoha, he would ask the Ōgakari why the hell the number 3 had appeared on his arm nearly a week and a half earlier.

Back in the port, a normal looking teen boy had just finished asking about the ship that was just departing and where it was heading. Casually strolling to a random building, he quickly took out a scroll that contained a seal that would copy anything written in it to its bonded twin, regardless of where it was. Writing down the information he had easily come by, the teen smirked. With his task finished, he quickly hid away the scroll again and headed out to the beaches. He could say without a doubt that this was the best mission ever. He got to relax, and he had a hand in ending the Namikaze bloodline in one go.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ah, another chapter up and finished. I can definitely say that this series is going to end soon. Would be sooner, except I want to fucking know what Han and Yagura's actual abilities in the manga are first before I start pushing for the end, but I can't rush Kishi, unfortunately.

BTW. Dance with dragons… fina-fucking-ly. Enough said.

I can't wait for this fall. There's just so much good stuff coming out in terms of anime and video games that I'm getting all giddy and stuff. Two words. Fate. Zero.

So I went to conneticon. Had a great time, no one picked me out unfortunately, but oh well. Tried to chat up a few girls… ran away from a few more because they were under 18, then chatted a few more up… and got turned down. Seriously, it's like a freaking game of "guess her age" for anyone over 21 at these things. Eh. C'est la vie. I did get flashed by a Harley Quinn at one point though. There were a lot of those for some reason. There were some amazing cosplays there, midget got a ton of pictures taken of her and someone actually gave her a real leek for the con… yeah. Some of the panels were lacking, but others were pretty cool. I got autographs from some of the guys from team four star, so it's all good.

So onto the manga. Gaara finally jumps into action and it looks good. Definitely going to be a highlight of the anime if it ever gets that far. One problem I have is that Hachibi warned Naruto not to use shadow clones while using the Kyūbi's chakra during training… and then he spams the damned move with no repercussions whatsoever. Ugh.

So anyways. Here's to random stuff blowing up, things going to hell, a long assed story, and my sanity.

Review! Worship the Log! Remember that girls cosplaying as female characters not in kimono are on average revealing way more skin or wearing more latex/leather than they would normally show ever, and review again!


	69. The right chapter number thingie.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 69: The right chapter number thingie.

I don't own Naruto. Get used to it. I do own the Ōgakari and their awesomeness, so Ha!

o. o. o.

Kumo:

Two spinning blades arced in the air as they glided toward one another, both rotating at speeds that almost made them appear to be disks and both holding enough sharpness and power to easily cut a man in half… before they crashed into one another and fell to the dry stone ground with the rough ringing that only metal could provide.

"You're supposed to throw them with different levels of power so that their paths don't cross, Bee." Scabbard droned as he sat on a boulder and worked on a logic puzzle. "You can't do that deflection trick I showed you with Kanshō and Bakuya with your weapons. They weren't designed for that. If you were used to using swords made to deal direct blows, I would have changed my design, but you aren't."

"Yeah, yeah…" Bee grumbled as he stopped going through his weapon kata and hopped to where his projectiles fell, picking them up with ease as if doing so was also part of his form. "It'll be fine, I'll get this shit this time…" He grunted as the man once again shadow sparred against an invisible opponent before seemingly letting two of the weapons that were in his joints fly in different directions. While most people would assume that the man had just made a mistake and lost his grip, it would still not matter much since he had 5 more blades on his body, and during the intervening time, the flying weapons would arc around and deal surprise damage to anyone in their path, especially if they were charged with lightning at the time. So far though, Bee was having trouble throwing his weapons accurately from his joints with the right amount of spin and precision he needed to make them work right in a real battle.

"I'm surprised." A new female voice made itself known from behind the immortal. "Normally you just leave town after you make some deals with Raikage-sama and mess with C a bit… though you may have gone a bit overboard this time."

"Small people need to learn their place and watch their mouths when dealing with me…" Scab smirked, remembering the look on the conceited man's face when he opened the door to what he believed to be a party thrown for shinobi of outstanding merit and instead was welcomed to a S&M party… then again, after Scab triggered a mechanism that he had set up that threw the man inside and closed the door behind him. Unfortunately, he couldn't be there in person since he couldn't hide from sensors, but having everything on camera with specs that only he could produce worked just as well…

"You are evil." The blonde woman shook her head before standing next to the man and looking at the puzzle he was working on curiously. "So why are you still here?"

"Just killing some time." Scab mused. "I'm probably going to leave by the end of the week… but I did promise in the meantime to help Bee get used to some of the other functions of his swords." He didn't bother to look up to Yugito. "So how have things been for you? Any decent missions lately?"

"Other than taking out a few bandit camps, not really." The woman mused. "I've been training to get better control of my powers mostly. Thankfully I'm not related to the Raikage, so I'm not kept within the village's territory at all times."

"Oh shit!" Bee shouted in warning as one of the blades he threw inadvertently flew at high speeds in their direction. "Dodge, bitches!"

Yugito wasted no time and got out of the way, but Scab did not acknowledge the flying blade at all as it approached him other than leaning slightly to his left just before the weapon reached him and passed by without leaving a mark. "If you're having this much trouble throwing them accurately, try using only 3 or 4 of your blades at once." The maker yawned. "Remember, you can control how much pull the blades have on one another by channeling chakra into the grip." He glanced at Yugito with disinterested eyes. "So other than my presence here and the Iron tournament fiasco, any interesting news on the street?"

The jinchūriki rolled her eyes for a moment before she watched the flying blade embed itself into a nearby boulder. "Well, other than the stuff you obviously started, things have been relatively calm here. I heard that our kenjutsu division's elites are expecting some new weapons, no doubt yours… Raikage-sama is rumored to be sending out teams on recon missions and information gathering missions…" She sighed and crossed her arms. "To be honest, it's nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone knows that Kumo is the most aggressively active village when it comes to these kinds of things…"

"Convenient." The man nodded as he started filling in the blanks on the puzzle.

Yugito's eyebrow twitched at the lack of enthusiasm in his voice. "Well… there have been a bunch of rumors about Konoha." She stated in an irritated tone. "About how their military power has seemed to jump significantly lately. About how they not only have the Demon of the Mist in their ranks, but a clan of mysterious mercenaries as well… not to mention those fresh genin that somehow dominated the Chūnin Exams…"

"Please." The man grunted. "Hiring mercs and obtaining the occasional high level missing-nin is nothing new when it comes to shinobi villages. Konoha's forces have barely changed in their actual size, other than losing roughly 10% of our forces in the invasion, and the only weapons they've obtained are the ones I have made. The only thing that has truly changed is the quality in their shinobi and their teaching methods. If anyone complains about them getting too strong… then they should make a better teaching system." He glanced at the woman, who was looking decidedly skeptical. "Honestly. I've seen the numbers. Konoha is still well within the standards for the demilitarization standard that all the major nations have set up. The only village that hasn't is Kumo…" Without pausing, he quickly finished the puzzle he was working on before turning the page to the next one. "Anyone in your village that doesn't recognize this as truth is a hypocrite…" He paused for a moment. "Or an idiot. Sometimes the two aren't synonymous."

The blonde woman clicked her teeth in irritation. She knew that everything the man had stated was indeed a fact, but to have the information thrown in her face in such a blunt and rude manner in her own home village was more than a bit insulting. "Fine. Whatever you say, Hill of Blades. Obviously your brilliance in ninjutsu and in politics dwarf my own… with that weird assed technique that you made…"

"I didn't invent Unlimited Blade Works…" The man stated as he continued the puzzle he was on. "That privilege belongs to a good friend of mine. He only allowed me to recreate it, and even then, I only recently managed to accomplish that." Very slowly, rods of metal began to rise from the ground like bizarre branchless plants all around the man and woman. "Other than using Kanshō and Bakuya and the style that accompanies them, my swordsmanship is actually rather basic if that. In terms of physical power and speed, I am lacking. I much prefer to fight from a distance." He glanced at the woman with a brief glare. A bolt of emerald green lightning cracked between two of the rods for only a moment. "If you would, please don't insult my deceased and closest friend's technique… I am rather protective of those that I actually care about, even if they are no longer among the living."

Grimacing and looking around warily, the woman could only relent at the immortal's warning. It was somewhat hard to remember at times that the man in front of her supposedly contained so much chakra that all the bijū combined seemed like a drop in the ocean to him…

"Hoh! Sweet! This shit is neat!" Bee's childish voice cheered as the man bounced from one rod to another while performing his standard attacks in the process. Three hops into the process and the man had reached his wayward sword and neatly picked it up before continuing to bounce between the sticks. "This stuff is great for practicing some smooth moves!"

Scabbard sighed. "Indeed, they are quite similar in size to bamboo shoots… however, there are some differences other than the material composition of course…" Slowly, the rods of metal began to pump up and down out of the earth by themselves at varying heights. "I believe that training on them now would be quite an enjoyable experience, in fact…" Slowly, a larger pillar of metal rose from underneath the man until he was at the same height as the rest of the rods, if not a bit higher. Not once had he looked away from his booklet. "Catch me if you can…"

Bee wasted no time trying to nail the immortal, only to miss as the pillar his target sat on shot back down to the ground and put him out of arm's reach. The jinchūriki grinned as he nimbly landed on another rod, but he temporarily lost his balance as the moving piston moved downwards into the ground.

"Ugh." Yugito rolled her eyes as Bee continued to play cat and mouse with the childish immortal. "No thank you. I don't feel like looking like an idiot right now."

"Suit yourself." Scabbard yawned, ignoring the fact that Bee was coming down at him from above.

"Got ya, mothafucka!" Bee grinned… before the pillar that Scab molded two right angles in the middle, moving the man just out of reach of the stunned man, who fell right past him.

"No you don't." The green haired man stated in his bored voice as he turned the page again. "Just to let you know, you have until I finish this booklet to win… so about an hour…"

"I thought you were supposed to be some kind of super genius." Yugito snorted. "It would take you that long to finish the entire thing?"

"Of course." The man shrugged, not acknowledging the fact that his pillar shot up again to dodge several of Bee's thrown swords nor the sounds they made. "I'm the one who made it after all."

The woman blinked owlishly. "Erm… then… isn't it a simple matter of you remembering what the answers are then?"

Scabbard snorted as he turned a page, ignoring Bee's swears of irritation as he lost his balance again on the shoot he was on. "Please. There's no point of doing a puzzle if I simply remember the answer. I simply choose not to remember the answer or how to do so, and as such I will not know it, therefore I can enjoy the problems my mind has conjured up to their fullest extent…" He momentarily paused as the platform he himself was on bent at a right angle backwards in order to prevent him from getting blasted by a lightning jutsu. "I see he's been taking that advice on learning more ranged attacks seriously…" He mused from his sideways perch, not changing his posture in the slightest. "Good. I was beginning to wonder if he would address that issue. Bee is indeed strong, but from my research, whenever a battle reaches a certain level of difficulty, he immediately relies too much upon his bijū. He needs aces other than his tailed beast for fights on that level." He glanced at Yugito. "You do too, you know."

"I'm sorry if having a monster of immense chakra inside of me is not enough for you." The woman sarcastically replied. "Most people tend to think that it's sufficient for most problems. Besides, despite what you think, I am rather skilled at guerrilla tactics and strategies. Just because I used to tend to lose control whenever I use too much chakra doesn't mean I'm weak, and for your information, I am just about finished with my training. I can almost control Nibi perfectly now."

"Good. Now train some more." The immortal brushed off the woman's statement as if she was talking about the weather. His pillar once more moving its cargo almost casually in order to dodge Bee's spinning and flying weapons. "Speaking of you losing control, though… I am curious. I am aware that Kumo is in possession of the amber purifying pot, which you frequently used to store the Hachibi whenever it went rogue. What did your village use for when the Nibi did the same? I am under the impression that you can only store one being inside of it at a time."

"Son of a!" Bee roared as he miss judged one of his jumps and accidentally jabbed his inner thigh on one of the moving metal rods.

"Why the curiosity?" Yugito ignored her ally's ranting. "Are you thinking of using our information against us?"

"Humor me. My clan has our own ways of sealing large beasts for obvious reasons. I'm just curious as to how people here seal their own beasts away when not in a human container." Scab also ignored Bee. "The Ichibi is contained inside some kind of reinforced kettle when it wasn't inside a jinchūriki, so…"

" **If they ever tried to keep me inside such an infernal prison, I would have killed them all the first chance I would get, container be damned…"** Nibi growled inside of Yugito.

The woman sighed and shook her head. "It's nothing as complicated as that. If my bijū went out of control, our forces and Raikage-sama would just beat it into submission. Then one of our clans, who have a jutsu that can teleport objects, would send it back into a containment room on the turtle island that is designed to hold bijū. Then we just wait until either the jinchūriki is in control again or seal the beast into another container."

"Interesting." Scabbard nodded. "I had assumed that you had some sort of sealing array to maintain control of the Nibi… or bijū in general. I have yet to see bijū specific arrays, but I assumed that they were possible in one of the villages with multiple jinchūriki." His elevation shot up a bit to once again dodge Bee's assault. "I was curious if you had a single seal designed to hold both bijū, or a separate seal for each of them."

"If you already have seals to control giant beasts, why did you want to know about our possible seals?" Yugito asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If there were specified seals, I would have liked to study them to see how you approached dealing with each beast simply for the sake of knowing. Each approach has their merits. For example, a bijū specific seal could work very well for their appropriate target with an extraordinarily low chance of failure, but if they were applied to the other bijū, they would most likely fail. Likewise, a multipurpose seal would work with a fairly high degree of success for all bijū, but the certainty is smaller than if a custom made seal is applied to the correct target. This is because even though they address and restrain demonic chakra they have… different… specifications and builds… and as such, would have adverse effects… if the inputs and outputs were different than anticipated…" The man slowed down as his words triggered a realization. He slowly closed the book in his hands and began to tap it in his hands. "If that happened… the seal would either not work… or produce an unexpected function…"

"Obviously." Yugito stated, not paying attention to the man's distracted demeanor. "But we're talking about seals dealing with and holding back bijū. Who would be dumb enough to make up a seal that dealt with huge amounts of demonic chakra on the fly and actually use it?"

"… I can think of a few…" Scabbard commented with a frown before dropping immediately back to the ground, as did the rest of the metal rods that he had fabricated. Bee, who had been in the process of jumping from one to another, screamed in surprise as his landing spot disappeared and he crashed hard into a boulder. "Game's over. I have to do some private research for a bit." The immortal stated bluntly as he briskly walked back to the village. "Tell the Raikage that I might leave earlier than expected, but I will still need to see him before I go."

"What the hell?" The woman rose an eyebrow as Bee pulled himself from the rubble he had embedded himself in. "What's got you so active all of a sudden?"

"I remembered several things… and that I'm an idiot." He sighed and waved casually. "I had forgotten that accidents make the world go round..."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the sea south of the Land of Fire:

"Now this is awesome…" Naruto sighed, leaning back on his lounge chair as the sun set in the distance. "Finally, I can travel without moving, or things trying to kill me, or storms, or Kiba trying to get Akamaru to pull something on me…"

"I'm right here, dude." The Inuzuka grunted.

"… Or worry about a body should I actually finally give into my impulses and dump him into the sea, or…"

"You know he's just kidding, Kiba." Hinata calmed her old teammate down.

"Tell him that." Kin snorted.

"This return trip is rather calming though." Sai commented as he drew the view from the edge of the boat. "Even if the boat is delayed so that we will take a few more days to get to the port…"

"Naruto probably is responsible for it." Ino sighed on her stomach, once more working on her tan.

"Nope." The whiskered boy grinned. "It's not my fault this time!"

"This mission is finally almost over though." Kiba sighed loudly. "I can't wait to get back to my own bed…"

Neji shook his head. "Don't count ourselves safe just yet, Kiba. Remember, we aren't back yet…"

Lee blinked before a light went off in his head. "Oh! Neji, are you by chance referring to that rule that Ghost-sensei warned us about?"

Ino moaned. "Man. Not that 'If a pain in the assed mission goes off as planned, there is a 38.54 percent chance that some extremely horrible event or overpowered enemy will attempt to fuck you over during the 2nd half of the trip back home' rule." She pouted. "Honestly, why the hell do they even have rules like that anyway?"

"Because they are for the most part unnaturally accurate." Sai answered as he switched colors. "Given how often they cause trouble and the unnatural tasks they give themselves, I would not put it past them to be completely right with the percentage, either."

"Meaning that with whiskers here, we might as well be prepared to be ambushed by a freaking Kage or something the second we step off the boat…" Kin nodded. "To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case… scared shitless, yes, but not surprised."

"Naruto, give it to us straight." Ino asked bluntly. "How many super-secret, over the top techniques do you have that MIGHT let us survive the oncoming hell that you are somehow going to get us into in a few days?"

"How many?" The jinchūriki asked nervously before pausing and putting on a thoughtful expression. "How… many?"

"Without taking us out in the crossfire." Kiba added with a deadpanned expression.

"Hoooow… maaaannnyy?" The blonde repeated, clearly still trying to figure out the answer to the question.

"Great." Neji hissed. "Now I'm not going to get any sleep because I'm going to be too worried who's going to kill me in the next few days."

"Hey, does that include amazingly painful and effective jutsu combos, or are we just talking about jutsu of unparalleled mass destruction?" Naruto asked in a distracted tone…

o. o. o.

Several hours later:

Naruto stood in the middle of the ocean a fairly large distance away from the boat. "How many…" He repeated to himself in a significantly darker and worried tone. Taking a few deep breaths, the boy calmed himself down to the point that he was almost fully aware of everything around him. The skin around his eyes formed red pigmentations and his eyes slit sideways as they turned gold.

And then his pupils split vertically as well…

Despite joking around, he was actually responsible for the delay in the trip back home. He wasn't able to practice this move anywhere else other than maybe the Ōgakari basement, and even then the environment there wasn't good enough for him to practice that often. It was simple in concept but… it was just…

…the training ground wasn't big enough.

It did that much damage. Crypt had actually complained that he didn't want to move THAT much earth around in order to fix things after each time the boy attempted to use the technique... and he had made sense while doing so.

Then there was that other technique that he never really finished mastering… he'd only just gotten the hang of it right before he left on the mission. This empty space of nothing but water provided him the perfect setting to train…

Very slowly and patiently, the boy began to form seals… gradually speeding up as the long sequence came back to him…

He believed that no one was going to come help his group this time. There wasn't going to be any convenient back up this time. Dumb luck would only help him for so long…

So he trained… and made sure that all his trump cards were under his control…

o. o. o.

In the forests south of Konoha:

"So this is everyone…" Kakashi mused in his standard casual tone as he looked down at the roughly 30 shinobi in front of him from Konoha and Iwa. "Gotta say… I really didn't expect myself to get stuck in this position when I got out of bed last week…" He pretended to ignore the looks of irritation he was getting from both parties. "Well then… here's to everyone getting along during this mission!" He said cheerfully.

"Why do I have a feeling that I'm going to be needed long before we encounter any missing-nin?" Sakura wept, seeing how the two sides were keeping to themselves and giving the other side wary glances every other second.

"Because life's troublesome like that." Shikamaru sighed.

"I see troubled times for us in the near future…" Mused the Iwa ANBU commander from next to Kakashi. "Our forces will put our pride to the side for the sake of the mission, no doubt about it… however, the lack of synergy between everyone will cause problems soon enough…" He turned slightly, bringing the two recently promoted chūnin into his view. "… It doesn't help that the Hokage decided to assign two young ones such as yourselves along for this mission. Talented and valuable you might be… however, it is seen by more than a few of my men as an insult."

Sakura snorted and flicked back her hair. "They can insult me all they want, but please remind them that I'm the one in charge of how much anesthetic they get when I have to heal their injuries."

The Iwa commander paused before chuckling. "… Tsunade's apprentice indeed…"

"Captain Kakashi…" Yamato appeared from behind the group. "All the copies and routes have been made for every group. They're ready to be distributed to every team…"

"Ah, you did that pretty quickly Yamato." Kakashi eye smiled as he looked back at the man. "Good job. Hand them out to everyone, will you?" A single nod and a quick shunshin answered his request as he turned to look at his total forces again. "Okay everyone! I'm glad that you could all make it here so quickly and without trying to kill one another. That makes things much easier." Sakura and Shikamaru deadpanned and looked at the cyclops skeptically. "At this moment, my assistant Yamato is handing out routes and areas to inspect to each team for the next couple of weeks. If you find anything, don't act on it unless it's of immediate importance. If you encounter any of the targets, have at least 2 men follow them while one reports back to the main camp and the last member of the team acts as a relay point. Do we have any experienced trackers here that can find a target by obtaining an object that was on their person or from being where they once were?"

An Iwa kunoichi and shinobi both stepped forward. "My brother and I can trace a person via chakra signature within a 10 mile radius so long as they remain in contact with the earth." The woman stated.

A couple of Konoha shinobi stepped forward. "I'm a sensor." One spoke up. "I'm a Hyūga." The other stated.

Kakashi nodded. "Good. We have a wide range of trackers here. I myself can follow a target rather accurately through my sense of smell, so if you happen to get a personal belonging of theirs, get it to me. Once we find a lead, we can modify our search from there. Until then, we are searching blind. Keep in contact with your radios at all times, and report every 4 hours if possible. Any questions?"

"Yeah." A rather large Iwa shinobi stepped forward. "What the hell are those two brats supposed to be good for?"

Kakashi sighed. "Sakura here is Tsunade-sama's apprentice, so she is in charge of any and all medical related issues that you all may encounter. She is very talented and skilled, and will be of great use to us when we finally find our targets and attempt to capture them. No doubt some of us will be injured in the process. Shikamaru on the other hand is a master tactician that is far more skilled than his age lets on. He has already participated in several high ranked missions, and so far his leadership and strategies have met nothing but praises…"

"I can back up what he says." An Iwa kunoichi stepped up. "Those two were fighting in the Konoha Chūnin Exams. I escorted my grandfather during that trip. Both of those brats are more than meets the eye."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Oh? The Tsuchikage's granddaughter. I'm honored and surprised that you are taking a part in this mission…"

"The surprise is mine, Copycat." She snorted. "I didn't expect you to be leading us…" She glanced at Shikamaru. "… and I didn't expect the Black Deer to be tagging along either…"

The Nara twitched an eyebrow as several Iwa shinobi looked at him in interest. He hated being the center of attention.

"This tiny brat's the Black Deer of Konoha?" Snorted one of the masked ANBU from Iwa. "Heh. Honestly, it's like they're giving names to everyone these days. Next thing you know we'll find out that the Feral Gale is a kid that's even smaller than this runt here…"

"He actually only recently reached my height." Sakura grinned, causing many people on both sides to chuckle. "Yeah… he's pretty sensitive about that…" She put on a thoughtful expression. "… But if I remember correctly… he had a pretty high kill count in the Oto invasion. Pretty close to the triple digits…"

"107 kills or incapacitations." Shikamaru yawned. "You and Sasuke managed to take out a few jōnin by yourselves, though…"

"Yeah, but that was luck. Most of the upper ranked Oto shinobi weren't that strong." The girl blushed and dismissed the compliment. "Besides, I nearly got killed by Orochimaru's right hand man almost immediately after that…"

"Yeah… after you plowed him halfway through a building." The Nara rolled his eyes, pretending to ignore the stares of curiosity that the two were getting from the adults right in front of him. "I was stuck trying to maneuver a good portion of Konoha's forces… which is nice and safe, sure, but it didn't let me have any decent battle stories when everyone gets together to brag about how many people they saved or…"

"You stopped a literal TSUNAMI of SAND from crushing you with a giant deer made of shadows! How does that not qualify as something to brag about?" Sakura countered irritably.

The elder shinobi there listened quietly to the younger shinobi argued back and forth. They kept silent for the most part, but many were storing away as much information about the two as they could. They all knew the kids were skilled in some way, otherwise they wouldn't have been promoted to chūnin so early, let alone be part of a mission dealing with a jinchūriki. It was just that some were irritated that kids so young were still allowed to be part of this mission. They seemed too inexperienced for this…

"Now, now…" Kakashi laughed nervously. "Calm down you two. Can you stop revealing your talents to everyone here? You're supposed to be ninja after all. You know. Keeping secrets and all that?"

"Fine…" Both muttered and looked away sheepishly, but mentally patting one another on the back. They had talked about what they were capable of during the exam period… not what they were capable of NOW. If anyone tried to use what they had said against them during the mission… they would be sorely underestimating the two…

 _'Those two are too clever for their own good…_ _Let's just hope that no one else realizes what they were trying to do and tries to point it out…'_ Kakashi mused as he looked around. "Well then…" He chuckled. "If that answers everyone's questions…" His visible eye became drained of emotion and his voice became more even. "The mission will commence… now."

A scattered blur of movement took place before Kakashi, Sakura, Shikamaru, and the Iwa commander.

"… You brats are pretty good." The masked man chuckled, turning to the two teens. "I can see why the Hokage sent you."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't spread word about what they did." Kakashi sighed, knowing exactly what the man was referring to. "It would mess with the fragile stability our alliance barely has…"

"Of course." The man nodded. "If my men aren't able to see past such a ruse, then they have no right to know that they were tricked in the first place." He turned around and began to walk to his tent. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go check up on our notes on the area some more. Call me when some of my men arrive. No doubt they would prefer to report to me instead of you… no offense…"

"None taken." The grey haired man shrugged. "I was thinking of going over some possible battle strategies with Shikamaru and Sakura anyways. Till then."

The ANBU nodded as he disappeared into a tent.

"… I don't like this…" Shikamaru grunted as he and the other two walked to another area. "Something doesn't feel right about a lot of the ANBU here… and that includes some of our own."

Sakura blinked. "Really? I didn't notice anything odd."

"You caught onto that too, huh?" Kakashi mused. "Some of the squads here were unusually isolated during the waiting time. They didn't talk or interact with anyone, even from their own side. Of course, they might just be special cases, but then again, I'm very familiar with how most of our own forces should carry ourselves, and keeping everything to yourself is normally not recommended. It reduces the efficiency of the mission due to the lack of trust between teammates." He sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Plus, there were a few Iwa ANBU that were the complete opposite and were rather talkative and friendly to our shinobi in a non-aggressive way, which was something new too. Iwa doesn't tend to have shinobi that try to get along with those that they think are outsiders or are beneath their rank. Once again, these guys in particular might just be different… but on a mission like this, the odds of that conveniently happening aren't high."

"There are too many anomalies in our side in this sort of mission to just brush off." The Nara frowned. "We have to prepare for the worst and assume that there are 3rd and 4th parties hiding in our forces."

Kakashi nodded. "Shouldn't be surprised. Ah, what to do? Can't trust our friends, can't trust our temporary friends, don't know what their goals are other than a few guesses…"

"Man…" Sakura moaned. "Why is it that we're getting stuck in this kind of situation even when Naruto isn't here?"

"We can safely assume that at least a few of them are aimed at Han." Shikamaru analyzed the situation. "He's the main reason why so many of us are here in the first place, let alone working together." He closed his eyes and made the circle like seal with his hands that meant he was concentrating on the subject at hand. "We have uncertain elements from both Konoha and Iwa. Both have elements within the ANBU ranks…"

"If that's the case, then the guys from home are likely to be from Danzō's ROOT faction… probably to kidnap or kill Han in order to weaken Iwa in a way that would make things look like an accident… plus, it would make sense to make a move now from the traitor's perspective. This is an extremely influential mission when it comes to the power balance of the Elemental Nations that doesn't have an Ōgakari present. I wouldn't put it past him to say that he's aware that we've made contact with a fair number of jinchūriki already as well… this would be his way of attempting to stop or hinder whatever plan the Ōgakari have without leaving him in their sights. As a final bonus, this would be a prime situation to gather more intel on us."

Kakashi nodded approvingly. "I assumed something like this was the case, but you seemed to manage to put things into context much faster and easier than I could. Now all we have to do is point out which members of our group are ROOT and we can maneuver them accordingly when the time comes… if we get enough time to do so at least…"

"What about Iwa though?" Sakura asked. "I mean, it's not like they don't need a reason to cause trouble in the Land of Fire, but…"

The genius frowned as he concentrated more. "Iwa… Han…" He looked up at Kakashi. "You said that in the previous iteration, Han served his time in prison before being released on parole, right?" Kakashi nodded. "Then that probably means that he was busted out for some reason, since something obviously changed on the outside to provoke someone to help him… Rōshi mentioned something along those lines during the debriefing." He frowned. "If that's the case, then he was broken out for a reason… so there's a good chance that the guys that started the prison break…"

"Are underneath our noses right now…" Kakashi concluded with a worried glint in his eye.

"Wait, couldn't it have been done from the outside?" Sakura asked confused. "Why did do you think that someone from inside Iwa helped him escape?"

"It had to be an inside job." Shikamaru frowned. "No one from the outside would have known where Han would have been specifically held and busted him out in such a way that it looked like he himself was responsible for it in the first place." He closed his eyes. "If the ones responsible are on this mission, then Han must serve some sort of purpose to them that he hasn't fulfilled yet, something either only he can do, or that they don't want to do themselves…"

"Naruto…" Sakura's eyes widened in realization. "They want to kill him too, and they're using Han to do it… or at least give them an opening to do so…"

"If that's the case, then there's a good chance some of the information we'll be getting from the Iwa ANBU might be faulty." Kakashi sighed. "I really don't like this…"

"It's worse than that, Kakashi." Shikamaru frowned. "Regardless of what they are planning, the matter of fact is that Han most likely has been hiding in the Land of Fire for a long period of time, and the masterminds of this are those from Iwa that have some sort of grudge against Konoha… more specifically, Minato Namikaze. With your presence…"

"I will probably be targeted as well due to the fact that everyone knows that I was Minato-sensei's student." The cyclops concluded. "Most likely, they will attempt to make a move on me when we stage our trap on our targets and something 'conveniently' goes wrong, creating chaos in the ranks… which would also give Danzō's group the cover they need to take out Han." He scratched the back of his head tiredly. "Another day… another potential disaster needed to be averted, I suppose."

"We'd also be in danger too." Sakura added in. "Shikamaru's already known to them as a person that has great potential in Konoha, and I'm both Tsunade-sama's and your student. We're walking targets for them…"

"Hm… That's very true…" Kakashi mused.

"That's also very good…" Shikamaru's eyes flashed. "We can use that. Remember, most of what we just determined is simply speculative. We can't go pointing fingers or we'd get into deep shit later on, regardless of whether we're right or not."

"So the plan is pretty much go by the seat of our pants and wait to get attacked while hunting down an unstable shinobi with a monster sealed inside of him AND a large camp's worth of escaped missing-nin while keeping an eye out for traitors that are waiting to kill us all and starting a Fourth Shinobi War…" Sakura surmised their current situation before dropping her head in depression. "… Why? Even when he's on a completely different mission for months on end, how does Naruto still drag us into horrible situations?"

"Well, there's nothing we can really do about it now other than deal with it." Kakashi mused before patting the girl affectionately on the head. "Think of it this way: it will be a wonderful way to gain experience if you manage to survive…"

"Why?" She repeated again, crying even more.

"We can take our frustrations out on the idiot later." Shikamaru grunted. "Here's what I've got planned so far…"

o. o. o.

Kiri:

"I was a bit surprised when you called this meeting at this specific time." Mei mused from her desk, sitting in front of Waltz, Crypt and Haku. "I hope that there aren't any… complications that have arisen from the procedure."

Waltz shook his head. "No. That's not it. Zabuza's recovery is still going as expected. He should be awake in a few days." He reached into a pocket looking for something. "To be honest, we weren't planning on having a meeting like this either… but something interesting has come up that needs to be addressed between us… privately…"

Mei frowned. "I assure you that my room is completely secure and that my ANBU here are sworn to…"

"It doesn't matter." The old man frowned. "This is something that should only be known by the smallest number of people available. Loose ends for this are absolutely unacceptable…" He turned to where one of the hidden shinobi in the room was hiding. "… No offense, mind you."

"Mizukage-sama…" Haku shifted in her feet, her eyes showing lack of sleep, no doubt from watching and remembering the events several days prior. "Please… I know this may sound rather demanding, however it has to do with… HIM."

Mei's eye momentarily flickered before nodding slowly. "Very well." She relented, waving for her shinobi to leave. A few moments later, she flipped through some seals to ensure that the room was secure. "Now, what may I ask is so important that you have to ensure that only I am in the room?"

Waltz sighed before taking out a small device from his pocket. "Well… it's not me that has information, but…" He placed it on the side of her desk and pressed a button on it. In an instant, a large holographic screen appeared above it, much to the woman's shock. So far it was only a deep blue with the word 'connecting' flashing in the middle. Several seconds later, it seemed to process some signal and the image instantly flashed into something different… showing a very confused Raikage and a bored Scabbard standing in an office. "You better have had found something interesting, Scab." The old man sighed. "We're going to catch a lot of shit for showing off your toys like this."

"What… in the world?" Mei blinked in shock and confusion. "Raikage? I-Is that you?"

"The hell is this contraption?" A growled curiously with his head disappearing from the bottom of the screen, no doubt to look at Scabbard's version of the device and disregarding Mei's question. "Why are you showing me this film of the Mizukage and some old man?"

"This isn't a video, Raikage-dono." Waltz corrected. "We're talking in real time. Scab is rather talented in making devices like this… though normally we try to keep the more advanced ones under wraps…" He frowned at his family member. "So mind telling us why you broke the rule that you yourself put in place?"

"I love this show…" Crypt swooned in a dream like state.

"We overlooked something and I'm taking precautions." Scab responded before pulling back the bigger man. "Don't touch it, you have a habit of breaking things." He chided before continuing, causing Mei to hold back a snort of laughter. "Anyways, like I was saying, we overlooked something that once known raises some issues and requires some… precautions, from all of us."

"We did?" Waltz raised an eyebrow. "It's not often that you miss something like this."

"You know, it's rude to have a conversation without introducing yourself." Mei commented in a smooth tone. "It's bad enough that you start talking about things that I have to do via some technology that is clearly beyond my understanding, next to the Raikage none the less…"

The green haired man bowed. "My apologies, Mizukage-dono. My name is Scabbard Ōgakari. I believe you are aware of my moniker, the Hill of Blades." He made a gesture to the Raikage. "Next to me is obviously Raikage-dono."

"Hoh?" Mei raised an eyebrow as she looked at Scab, ignoring the leader of Kumo completely. "You're a fairly attractive man, Hill of Blades…" She smiled flirtatiously.

"I apologize, but I am quite comfortable with my current bachelor lifestyle, Mizukage-sama. I have no desire to have any relationship at this time." Scab politely rejected the woman's advances.

"Oh well." The woman sighed aridly. "At least you are quick, direct, and polite about it… unlike most men…"

"Stop your flirting and make this quick already." The big man grunted to the significantly shorter one. "I want you to explain why the hell you're doing this in my office so I don't have a reason to punch you across my village."

"That's all?" Waltz raised an eyebrow. "For shame. It takes nearly twice that distance in order to get the message across to any member of my family."

"Careful, old timer." A glared at Waltz. "You may be big, but I doubt you can handle being in a decent fight anymore."

The old man shrugged. "Who said I was mocking you? My clan is extremely stubborn when it comes to maintaining their insanity."

"Despite how that sounded, he is not joking in the slightest." Scab supported Waltz. "Enforcing a balance between instability and stability within ourselves is one of our clan's treasured practices."

"A rather peculiar practice…" Mei mused as she watched Crypt sway childishly and look mindlessly into the air.

"Some of us have different ways on how to interpret the term 'balance'." The weapon maker deadpanned. "Please don't hurt yourself trying to understand that one."

"I'm Haku Momochi, Raikage-sama." Haku bowed. "It is an honor to be in your presence…"

"That old man is Waltz Ōgakari, my clan's elder." Scabbard explained. "And I would advise against fighting him in close combat. He's far stronger than he looks." He paused as he looked at Crypt. "And the insane one is…"

"This bookshelf speaks to meeee…" The introduced man whispered in awe to a random wall. "… In Portugueeeeseeeee…"

"… Crypt. My brother…" Scab shook his head. "So now that we are done with introductions…"

"… But I don't know Portuguese!" The insane one moaned. "Scab, do you know Portuguese?"

"Waltz." Scab said in a tired tone.

"Yeah, hold on one moment." The old man sighed as he walked to Crypt and dragged him outside the range of the device's view. "The following program is highly offensive to all viewers." His gruff voice stated in an even tone before horrifying and disturbingly violent sounds were made off screen. Given Mei's look of shock and horror… it must have been pretty gruesome. Haku knew better than to look at what had just transpired. Less than 15 seconds later, the old man walked back into view, his hands and some of his robe covered in blood. "… We now return you to your regularly scheduled program."

"What… but… his spine…" The Mizukage stammered in shock.

"Despite all logic that says otherwise… he's actually fine, Mei-sama." Haku whispered. "You won't have to worry about the blood stains on the ceiling either. This isn't something new for them…" She turned and bowed apologetically to the Raikage. "Please tolerate their rude behavior, Raikage-sama. It is just how they are. They rarely adjust their mannerisms, regardless of who they are speaking to."

"The hell just happened?" The Raikage blinked in confusion. "Mizukage! Tell me what the he just did!"

"As I was saying." Scabbard continued, ignoring the most recent instance of Waltz maiming Crypt. "We missed something that we need to address before we can continue our secret meetings and information exchanges without issue." He closed his eyes before opening them only a small amount. "A misapplied seal…"

"Hm?" Mei frowned, not allowing herself to be distracted anymore. "What do you mean by that?"

"Our common enemy has been making moves for some time." Scabbard began to explain. "For example, he was the one who turned the Kyūbi loose on Konoha 13 years ago… but there are some facts about the incident that you are not aware of."

"The Kyūbi?" A's eyes narrowed. "You mean this isn't the first time this foe has gone after the Bijū?"

"He's a very tenacious and irritable man." Waltz commented as he began to stroke his beard. "A misapplied seal…" He paused before his eyes widened and his hand froze. "… You don't mean… back when the Minato…"

Scab nodded. "Exactly." He decided to elaborate. "When he attempted to free the Kyūbi from its previous container, said container in turn tried with all her might to seal it back within herself and die with it in her, which would cause it to be without form for several years, preventing her assailant from getting his hands on it for at least that amount of time. The man, taking no chances, tried to get in the way of this physically and unintentionally sealed a portion of the beast's chakra directly into himself. The accidental sealing caused the Kyūbi's chakra to split in half. Yin and Yang. Our opponent was stuck with the Yin chakra inside his body without the beast's mind, while the current container in Konoha has the mind and the yang half." He paused to let the two Kage listening digest this information. "Before he was fighting Namikaze, he was manipulating the freed half of the Kyūbi via a combination of the link he now shared with the beast… and a genjutsu fueled by the Sharingan he carries. Namikaze managed to sever both bonds by managing to place a seal on him that was designed to sever his connection to the Kyūbi… however…"

"It was designed to interrupt and sever control via genjutsu and mental links…" Waltz nodded, understanding what was happening. "Basically anything that is fueled by yin chakra… but it wasn't designed for someone with such a freshly inputted and massive source. The bonds between the sealed and the sealer were so fresh that they were affected by the seal as well…"

"Wait one damned moment!" A roared. "You mean to tell me that the one responsible for this is a rogue Uchiha?"

"Yes. Glad you are able to keep up with us." Scabbard brushed the man's rage aside.

"Careful, brat. Do you remember who you are talking to?" The Raikage growled, clearly irritated by the man's disrespect.

"A very angry black man who's gone grey prematurely?" Crypt tilted his head curiously, somehow fully recovering from the unseen maiming he had endured as he stood in full view of everyone.

"This is my natural hair color!" The man roared in pure rage. Clearly, this was not the first time someone had made such a comment about his hair.

"Waltz." Scabbard said plainly.

"On it." The old man responded, already dragging Crypt off screen.

"… How?" Mei blinked, trying to make sense of what just happened. "They are supposed to be family… but the angle of his neck and legs… does a bone like that even exist in the human body?"

"Once again, it's best to ignore them when they are like this." Haku sighed, doing just that as she pretended Waltz wasn't doing crimes against humanity to Crypt in the corner of the room.

"So then…" Scabbard sighed. "In a nutshell, in addition to severing the bond between the Uchiha and the Kyūbi attacking the village, the seal also destabilized the man's chakra and body, forcing him into hiding and recuperation. I assume it would have taken him several years in order to regain any control of his chakra again, seeing as any seal made by Namikaze is one that cannot be simply worked around or removed, especially when it dealt with a bijū…" He paused before looking at Mei. "Though I have my suspicions that he did manage to loosen it enough after a couple of years to regain some of his genjutsu abilities back…"

Mei's eyes widened. "Which is roughly when…" He steeled her gaze. "I see… so this meeting is a warning that our enemy not only has access to genjutsu that can control us if we are caught off guard… but that with the portion of the Kyūbi's chakra in it, said abilities might be enhanced to the point where he can enslave multiple powerful and influential people at once and that we may be targeted in the near future…"

"Humph…" A grunted as he leaned back in his chair. "This sounds to me that this is all Konoha's problem and fault to begin with and now we're all dealing with it…"

Waltz sighed and walked into view again, covered in even more blood this time. "Well, it's kind of hard to point fingers at the Leaf when said problem was thought to have been dead for a long time. The fact that someone was responsible for the Kyūbi's attack on the village itself is only known to our group in particular, and we only found out through some very unconventional means a short amount of time ago."

"And these means are?" Mei asked inquisitively.

"Sorry. Trade secret." Scab stated. "The less people know about it, the better."

"So what?" A frowned. "The heck are we supposed to do with this information? By all means, we should be having some sort of meeting to deal with this problem before it gets too large or before… unlikely as it seems… one of us gets put under by this man's illusions…"

"That's what this meeting is about. I estimate from my sources that this seal that's been keeping him at bay for the most part for these 13 years will either fail or be removed within the next 2-4 years. If we wait too long to inform you of this and prepare accordingly, then disastrous consequences could await everyone." The green haired man noted. "Crypt. We need something small and compact, yet still on an SS-ranked efficiency at least. Show me what you've got."

"The crazy one?" A blinked at Scab. "The hell are you talking to him ab…"

WHAM! The insane man somehow fell from the ceiling onto Mei's desk, silencing the Raikage in surprise, before bouncing off of it and onto the floor, leaving a fairly large pool of blood on the top. Within moments, said pool began to shape itself into an intricate sealing array consisting of multiple circles within one another and lines going through the entire thing. "That'll be 3.50. Thank you for shopping at Walmart…"

"No doubt if we attempted to convince you two to put on such a seal on yourselves alone, you would most likely object." Waltz stated, ignoring the silent Kage trying to comprehend what just happened. "We had to have this large meeting and explain some factors that normally you wouldn't be told for several years in order to at least make sure you wouldn't throw this thing into our faces. After all… we wouldn't expect you to slap some random seal that we give to you from out of nowhere on yourselves without a decent reason and explanation…"

"You can always ask for a resident seal master to have a look at it for a second opinion." Scab shrugged. "However, brother's work has always tended to be on a level that few can truly comprehend completely…"

"Hmm…" Mei mused, the first of the two rulers to snap out of her shock, as she looked at the array in front of her. "This does seem to be an anti-genjutsu based array… though like they have said, it is extremely complicated and intricate. Unfortunately, seals aren't a field I am rather familiar with…"

"Let me have a look at it." A frowned skeptically as he leaned forward at his side of the screen. "… Yeah… that definitely is what you claim it to be. Has specified trigger mechanisms set to specified chakra wavelengths… strong pulsing offsets… multiple chakra path filters… massive yin chakra absorbing nodes… multiple safeties that ensure that it can't be removed from outside forces, but also from inside as well if the user is influenced by genjutsu of a different source…"

"Hoh?" Waltz raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't aware that you were so familiar with seals, Raikage-dono…"

"Everyone in the family is." The man grunted. "We've been sealing the Hachibi into our clan members since we got our hands on it, and I decided to brush up on the subject more when I kept on running into the Fourth Hokage during the war…" He looked at the downed Crypt skeptically. "That one is certainly talented in sealing. I never thought that such a complicated seal could be made so compact…" His eyes narrowed. "… But the problem is with these complicated arrays is that it's easy to slip in something extra among the functions…"

"True…" Mei nodded. "He has a point…" She glanced at the old man. "If this meeting is so important, why don't you have Tsunade joining us to help prove your point? If what you say is true, then no doubt you would have an easier time convincing us…"

Scab rubbed his forehead irritably. "Unfortunately, the only 2 remaining family members we have in Konoha at the moment are busy with other… activities that prevented them from bringing Tsunade into this conversation. We can set something up at a later time, but for now, you two are just going to have to be satisfied with just us. As for the little device we are using… that's something only members of my clan are allowed to use and have. No exceptions."

A crossed his arms, displeased with the answer but begrudgingly accepted it regardless. "Tch. Fine. So long as I get word from Tsunade sometime in the near future confirming all this crap and proof that she has the seal applied to her as well, then I'll play along with this game… for now."

"I agree." Mei nodded. "The information you provided us with is rather tempting, but it needs more foundation and support if either one of us is to act on them."

Scab nodded. "Understood. I will attempt to contact our family members later and see if I can establish something at a more appropriate time."

"I'm curious, though…" Mei mused. "What do you have to gain from this? Do you have some sort of grudge against this man, or are you expecting our villages to repay you in some way?"

The miser like immortal snorted. "You overestimate us, Mizukage-sama. My family simply consists of mercenaries and merchants. It's simply in our best interests to ensure that potential strong and wealthy customers remain as such. It's a fairly standard business tactic…"

"Do tell me what part of this mess is standard." The Raikage growled sarcastically. "Really, I'm all ears."

"You mean to tell us that you don't desire some sort of lordship or to own your own country?" Mei asked curiously.

Waltz chuckled. "To hell with that. Stuck at a desk for years on end? We'd run the country into the ground and burn the ashes by sheer accident within a month. Heh, the building where we'd rule everything from would barely last a week." He shook his head. "No, we're fine just where we are… confusing everyone and everything we meet without restraint…"

"He's actually speaking the truth." Haku sighed. "Their clan does nothing but odd jobs most of the time and rarely directly involve themselves in major issues… mostly because it's technically not their problem. They just enjoy giving everyone their 2 cents on the matter and dropping the occasional egotist a few pegs."

The 2 Kage pondered these statements for several seconds before staring at one another in the eyes warily. Both saw the other's uncertainty at the situation, so both knew that at the moment they were dealing with a very dangerous third party whose words could not be taken at face value. They could be telling the truth, but then again, they could just be maneuvering everyone into an even worse situation. "… We'll wait and think about this." Mei started off first. "You said that we have roughly 2 years, correct? Then you don't mind if we use that before we make a final decision."

Scab shrugged. "Of course. We're in no rush for now… I just felt that it was urgent to inform you about this beforehand. Waiting 2-4 years and forcing you to make such hasty decisions would only cause our relations to be even worse."

"Keep talking. You almost sound convincing." The Raikage grunted.

"My mistake, I'll have to try harder to hide it better next time." The green haired man spoke in the same bored voice he had been using the entire conversation, making it difficult to tell if he was being sarcastic or not.

"Is that all, Scab?" Waltz asked. "I have to check up on Zabuza. We chose the third option and it's gone without a hitch."

The green haired man nodded. "That's good to hear. No… that's all I wanted to discuss for now. I have the seal memorized, so I can make a copy for Raikage-sama after we're done here…" He made to reach for the device on his end before pausing. "… One last thing though, Mizukage-sama…" He looked at the woman with an unreadable expression. "… I'd keep a higher guard on your shinobi graveyards for the next few years if I were you…" And with that, the screen instantly shut off.

The Mizukage blinked in confusion as she once again stared at her office wall. "What… does he mean by that?" She asked curiously.

Waltz's expression was unreadable. "… I… only have vague guesses at this point. None of them certain… or very good… it would be best if you follow his suggestions…"

Mei didn't notice Crypt grinning demonically from the bottom of the other side of her desk…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Sasuke yawned as he walked back to his apartment near his clan compound. He had spent another day training his ass off, and he felt as if he was making great progress. He was lasting longer in his stamina exercises, his nature transformation skills were coming easier to him, and he had managed to teach himself some very low level genjutsu in order to get a feel for them. By the time Kakashi allowed him to train with Kurenai, he should be able to understand the link between the art and his eyes enough to start off with his Sharingan based illusions…

He paused as he felt a disturbance and determined that he was being followed. His stalkers weren't very talented, but they were still better than the fangirls that he was normally chased by… oddly enough, they didn't give off the same obsessive aura that fangirls emitted, now that he thought about it…

Still, he didn't like to be followed. Casually turning a corner, the Uchiha made sure that he was covered by the fence before he shunshined to the roof of a nearby building to ensure that he had a good view of his stalkers. Soon enough, 4 small figures appeared around the corner with minimal stealth skills at best…

"Aw man!" One of them, a boy, complained. "Where the heck did he go?"

"I told you this was a stupid idea." Another chided the first. This one was female and had a more mature tone to her voice.

"Are you sure he would have played with us?" Another boy. This one sounded like he was sick or something.

"I don't know if he would." Yet another girl, this one more timid. "I heard he isn't that nice…"

"Of course he would!" The first berated the others. "He's the boss's rival! He should be glad to have the opportunity to try and take our worship away from the boss!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He knew who the group of four was now. Normally he would ditch the runts here and now, especially since his body was exhausted… but a very small part of him that had absorbed Naruto's subconscious need to mess with people urged him to at least see what they really wanted first. Deciding to be impulsive for once, the Uchiha once again used the speed enhancing technique and stopped right behind the 4 academy students. "And why do you think I would be interested in taking the idiot's problems for myself?" He asked in a firm and expecting tone, causing all of the children to freeze in their tracks, clearly caught in the act.

"Damn it! Why the heck do all the ninja we try to talk to do that!" Konohamaru roared to the heavens, as if they would give him an answer.

"You'd think we'd get used to it by now…" Udon sniffed.

"Honestly…" Hanabi sighed, shamed that she herself was caught off guard.

"Ahh!" Moegi swooned, clearly reminding Sasuke that his looks and reputation were at least good enough to make strangers new fangirls at a single glance, regardless of age. "He's so cool!"

"You three have 5 seconds to restrain her before I ditch you all." The Uchiha stated in a no nonsense tone. He didn't take any chances when it came to fangirls. None at all.

Much to his surprise, the 3 remaining sane academy students actually managed to do so, with Konohamaru and Udon tying up the girl in rope while Hanabi shut her body down with Jūken.

"… Okay… obviously Naruto has actually been teaching you useful things after all…" Sasuke said more to himself than to the kids in front of him.

"To be honest, we originally practiced this for when Naruto or Konohamaru got too out of control and we would have to hold them down. Otherwise, the rest of us would get hurt in one way or another." Hanabi explained, though not clearly not proud of said reasons.

"… If it got you to be this good and fast at taking someone down without permanent scarring, the way you learned this doesn't really matter much…" The Uchiha commented as he inspected the kids' work. "… Who used chakra to tie the knots so quickly?"

"I did." Udon sniffed. "I'm good with knots, rope, camping equipment, and other basic things. I started to use my chakra in the rope to make things faster and easier to set up camp after I heard you can control them that way…"

'… _This kid has the potential to be a monster trap maker if he stays with Naruto for long periods of time…'_ Sasuke mentally commented as he looked at the unimpressive looking boy up and down. "… You might want to practice that a bit more…" The Uchiha said in his standard even tone. "Practice with thinner ropes… maybe even wire if you get the hang of it. Widen your range of knots. It will help with your control and mental imaging…" ' _Among other things…'_ He paused for a moment. "… Whatever you do, though… don't tell the Ōgakari, Jiraiya of the Sannin… or Anko Mitarashi about this trick of yours."

"Why not?" Konohamaru tilted his head to the side confused.

 _'Because any one of them would try to corrupt the poor kid and turn him into a sex fiend…'_ "… They would try to train you to master it in horrifyingly painful and awkward ways. I'm fairly certain that there are shinobi in Konoha that use rope as a good part of their ninjutsu techniques. Try and look for them and ask for pointers when you have time. For now though, just keep on playing with the rope and try to increase what you can do."

"Yeah." Udon nodded. "Thanks for the tips."

"What about me?" Konohamaru bounced eagerly. "What can you tell me to do?"

"… Depends. What can you do?" The Uchiha asked. He had already given one tips, might as well help the others.

"I can do this!" The boy shouted, making a ram sign and focusing his chakra… until he realized that Sasuke was holding a kunai under his neck.

"You do that bastardized soft core porn technique in front of me… and I will do things to you that I normally only save for the idiot." Sasuke said in a dead tone, causing all the kids there to shiver uncontrollably.

"G-got it…" Konohamaru whimpered before pausing. "… But… all I can really do otherwise is the replacement technique." He crossed his arms, clearly annoyed. "Boss said that I should practice it as much as I can to the point that I could use it without seals, but that gets so boring after a while… I mean, it's a basic technique for crying out loud."

The Uchiha snorted as he put back his kunai. "I wouldn't brush off replacement. It's the only basic one that experienced shinobi actually use in the field frequently after they learn other stronger ones to replace the other two. One of my relatives was known as Shisui of the Shunshin, and he was legendary for abusing the living daylights out of the shunshin, and that's also a fairly basic move…" He shrugged. "To be honest, I think the replacement technique suits you fairly well."

The Sarutobi tilted his head to the side confused. "Really? Why's that?"

A small smirk made its way onto his face. "You both annoy your opponents to no end."

"Oi!" The boy roared defiantly and attempted to take down Sasuke, only to be downed himself from behind by Hanabi with several precise jūken strikes. "Damn it! Why the heck do you keep on doing that to me?"

"Because otherwise you really would be too embarrassing to spend my time with." The girl replied with no remorse whatsoever.

Sasuke looked at the girl curiously. "Right… you're Hinata's sister…"

"You have some words of advice for me as well?" The girl asked skeptically.

The Uchiha shrugged. "Yeah. Ask your sister and your cousin for tips. They know more about your clan's specialties than I do."

"That would be obvious, except that they aren't back yet!" Hanabi glared at him accusingly.

The Uchiha rolled his eyes. "Fine then. Experiment with new chakra control techniques that your clan doesn't already practice with normally. That's how Hinata knows so many techniques, if what Naruto's told me is true."

The girl's eyes narrowed skeptically and hungrily. "Really? Then do you know what control techniques my sister used to make those moves in the first place?"

"Not in the slightest." The eldest replied without any hesitation, shooting down the girl's hopes with no remorse.

"What about me?" Moegi asked with sparkles in her eyes and still tied up. "What advice can you give me?"

Sasuke glanced at the girl, but took several steps away in the chance that she attempt to glomp him. "Depends. What are you good at?"

The girl paused. "I… um… well I'm cute…" She pouted, clearly not knowing her own strengths.

The Sharingan wielder sighed. "Okay. Let me try this. Do you have good control?" The girl nodded. "Are you good at memorizing facts?" Another nod. "Do you often have to drag Konohamaru and Udon to the hospital because they've done something stupid or Hanabi's beaten them painfully to prevent them from doing said stupid things?" Another nod, ignoring the aforementioned boy's moaning in protest. "Be a medic." Sasuke said with finality. "Having an unpredictable idiot on your team is good for getting the drop on an enemy, but odds are you'll be giving yourselves that much and more total damage on all the low ranked missions and training you've done beforehand. The convenient thing about having an idiot on your team is that you'll never get rusty or have to wait long to practice on someone."

"Why are you saying such mean things?" Konohamaru wept in hurt, not noticing Hanabi giggling to the side.

"How do you think my teammate Sakura got so good that she got Tsunade's attention?" The Uchiha shrugged. "The idiot was just as likely to blow himself up as he was his opponents."

Moegi nodded slowly. "Yeah… you know, that makes sense. Konohamaru is always getting us into trouble, and Naruto-nii is always doing weird things that get us into even more trouble…"

"Need more proof?" The teen deadpanned before turning to walk away.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" Konohamaru demanded defiantly.

"Home. I'm tired from training. Unlike Naruto, I'm not filled to the brim with chakra and can bounce back from being mortally wounded time and time again." He lazily waved his arm in the air. "One more bit of advice. You're all still kids. You're not going to be in direct combat for a while. You have time. Focus on your basics and foundations the most. Strength, speed, stamina, flexibility, chakra control, taijutsu forms, stealth tactics, and seal familiarity. If you don't have those, then it doesn't matter how many jutsu you know, you'll just be outmaneuvered, outlasted, or simply killed before you can pull anything off."

With that, Sasuke casually walked around a building and disappeared from the sight of the academy students.

"Wow…" Moegi swooned. "He's so cool! He taught us a lot without scaring us, OR blowing us up. I like him a lot more than Naruto…"

"Heh." Konohamaru smirked. "Nah. Boss's better at hiding his true self. Don't you know? Most of the really strong ninja are supposed to be weird. That means boss is way stronger than Sasuke is…"

"Your granddad isn't weird." Udon sniffed, arguing against the boy.

The grandson's grin widened. "Nope! The old guy is just as weird! He just hides it better than anyone else! He talks in his sleep a lot about 'burning it all down'… and then he laughs a lot… it's really funny to watch…"

o. o. o.

Over the sea:

Hinata sighed as she rested at the back of the ship. It was very late at night, so much so that even the people that party extremely long had turned in to sleep in for the rest of the day. The night sky was pitch black and she was tired, but still she was up, staring off into the distance…

"You noticed it too?" She asked to seemingly no one, not bothering to look to her unseen companion.

Seconds later, Sai walked out from the shadows from where he had completely blended in. "Indeed. It wouldn't be hard to guess that Kiba and Neji have also noticed due to their specialties, but they have opted to play dumb for some reason…"

"It's because they trust him." Hinata answered without even bothering to think about what to say, enjoying the breeze that gave the humid air around her a nice feel. "They know that even though he is childish and does things at a whim, he would never do anything to truly endanger us on purpose…"

"He does seem to give off that impression…" The pale boy mused. His time at the beach did nothing for his complexion. Ino discovered later that her teammate had used impossibly strong sun block during their stay, much to her disappointment. The wind blew stronger for a moment before calming down again. "Though I am more concerned as to why he is doing this now as opposed to earlier..."

"He doesn't want to worry us." The Hyūga sighed. "He pretends that nothing is bothering him, but deep down, he knows that there is always a chance that something could go wrong. He doesn't want to see any of us get hurt, and sometimes those feelings get the better of him…" She paused. "… Still… I admit that I am concerned as well… he does not normally practice moves on this scale so frequently…"

Sai nodded as he turned to look at the direction that the wind was coming from. He couldn't see anything due to the darkness of the night, but he could hear something in the distance… "He taught you the Rasengan, didn't he?"

The girl froze. "… What? I don't know…"

"It was in the movie, remember?" He stated with the fake smile on his face. "The one we saw in the Land of Spring. During the end, he used it twice to beat that man… Dotō I believe."

The girl nervously fidgeted in place before relenting. "Yes." She admitted.

Sai looked at her curiously. "… Why?"

"Huh?" The girl blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

The pale boy hesitated for a moment, picking his words carefully. "Shinobi are meant to keep their strongest techniques a secret from others in order to prevent them from being used against themselves. Rasengan… is only known by a handful of people, literally, even with yourself included, and for good reason. He must have trained even harder than you to master that technique, seeing as his control is naturally subpar. Why would he give one of his strongest aces away to someone so easily?" He shook his head. "I don't see the logic behind it. We are to stick to the rules and guidelines, yet he and the Ōgakari and many of our comrades here dismiss them so willingly at times, even though it only brings them misfortune later on…"

Hinata smiled briefly. "… It's because all rules have some sort of limit, Sai. Guidelines are guidelines; very convenient to live by, but not facts of life. There will always be exceptions. For example, new jutsu cannot be made simply by following rules. One has to do something different, see things from a new perspective." She looked on ahead. "Yet at the same time as breaking the rules, our friends make sure that they are perfectly aware of the guidelines that truly matter most to others. They don't delude themselves with pride, honor, commitment… all they see is what is there, what is happening, and what needs to be done. Because they don't restrict themselves with restraints that shinobi society normally imposes on others, yet keep themselves aware of them, they are able to see new ways to answer issues and do things that others wouldn't do, despite the fact that it would benefit many people to do so." She smiled. "In the case of Naruto-kun teaching me Rasengan… he did it because he wanted me to get stronger, and so he did so in a way that helped us both without harming anyone else in the process. Politics didn't matter. Secrets didn't matter. Our 'status' didn't matter. He just wanted to help a friend become strong." She turned to Sai. "Now, can you honestly say that that is wrong?"

The spy remained quiet for some time before turning away. "… It would be nice… to be able to think of things like that so simply and have them to turn out as such…"

"… Sai…" Hinata looked at the boy with some pity, wanting to know what made him withdraw into himself so much.

The breeze and the distant howling sound in the distance had died, grabbing their attention."… Do you know exactly what he is doing out there?" He asked curiously.

Hinata stalled. "I… have a general idea… however, can you honestly say that anyone is able to predict what Naruto-kun does when he's alone and experimenting with jutsu?"

The ROOT agent was quiet for a moment before nodding acceptingly. "You make a valid point… and now that you mention it, attempting to go closer seems to be a far more foolish plan than initially thought…"

"You weren't there, but when Naruto-kun was training for the Chūnin Exams with us in the Ōgakari compound, there was one event where we found him in the middle of a massive crater after having an intense fight with Waltz-sama. His body was injured more than I had ever seen it, yet he was fine a few days later thanks to the Kyūbi and the medical aid of Waltz-sama." He looked off into the distance. "The shockwave from that last attack was beyond anything I had ever seen before…" She shook her head and smiled. "After that, something like this isn't really that surprising for us…"

"Even if that's the case, I am still somewhat disturbed that he is going to such lengths this time…" Sai mused. "He was not this unnerved during the mission…"

"Yet we still managed to encounter 2 coups, 4 S-ranked missing-nin, a bijū of all things, and multiple other problems." Hinata pointed out. "I think after that anyone would most likely prefer to be a bit on the safe side…" She paused as she saw a small light shining in the distance. It was intense, but clearly so far away that it was very difficult to determine just how far away from the boat the boy had traveled in order to train in private. It stayed in place for a moment… before it suddenly flew in a direction at fairly high speeds. "That's…" She whispered in surprise.

"You know of that technique?" Sai asked curiously.

She nodded, activating her eyes. The sky in front of her was heavy with chakra, but it did nothing to conceal the attack that she was focusing her bloodline on. "It's one of his strongest ninjutsu… but he's already mastered it… why would…" Her eyes widened in disbelief as she watched the light slowly change direction until it made a wide u-turn and was heading back to where it was launched… to where another bright light had just been released. "What in the…?" She whispered in surprise as the two lights collided…

It was then that Hinata would admit that for the first time despite the fact that she trusted him with her life ten times over… she was scared of Naruto.

o. o. o.

Taki:

The village council was quiet as they received the document that Fū handed them.

Kakuzu was alive, and from what they learned, the man had advanced the Earth Grudge Fear technique to inhumane levels, both in skill and in application.

"This is… troubling…" Mused one of the local clan leaders as she read the report. "Stealing hearts to not only progress his life, but to obtain all 5 of the basic elements to such destructive levels…"

"As much as I do not want to admit it, I doubt that there is a shinobi… let alone a team of shinobi in our village that can match him at this point…" Commented another. "By himself, he managed to put up a strong fight against the Raikage's brother, his third in command, and the Demon of the Hidden Mist himself and still almost came out victorious. In order to subdue him, we would be required to utilize and sacrifice many of our shinobi in order to overwhelm him… or give an elite force of ours a portion of the Hero's Water… including Fū…"

"Both are out of the question." Snapped a rather irritated and elderly man. "We will not weaken ourselves to acquire a rogue that should have died years ago, and we will not let the monster drink a drop of the Hero's Water and become even more powerful."

"Don't forget about this supposed partner of his." Spoke up another clan leader. "Hidan of Yugakure. According to this report, he is supposedly immune to mortal wounds. He remained alive even after being decapitated and he mentioned during their encounter that Kakuzu has… stitched him back together… on multiple occasions. It would not be unexpected to assume that he is still alive and travelling with Kakuzu…" He shook his head. "The traitor was bad enough, but I do not want to think about how to deal with him along with this cultist partner of his."

"What about Fū?" Grunted an elder. "The two made no effort to hide the fact that they were after jinchūriki. I have no love for the girl, but even if we use her as bait, we would still risk not only our village's strongest weapon, but a good portion of our forces as well. Should she lose control of the monster…"

"Indeed… however, you forget that she seems to be well liked by Konoha as well, for some odd reason." Interrupted another female elder. "Should they receive word of how we used her - which is likely, for they too have a jinchūriki and are taking necessary precautions - it would not fare well for us. We have been making a significant profit lately due to the additional missions we have been given access to, and to cut that off now would not only hamper our growth, but strengthen other villages greatly. Fū's value to the village at this point leaves in a very delicate position…"

"I suggest we put her on extended leave in Konoha while we utilize our funds to further strengthen our forces and fortify our position." Suggested one of the younger members of the council. "That way we can ensure that if they do attack us, we can repel them to some degree, and if that fails, steer them in Konoha's direction. We can tell the Leaf if they ask us if we planned it that we felt that she would be safer with them…"

"Are you a coward?" Roared a woman. "What would the world think if they knew that we gave up our strongest trump card, one that makes even the 5 great shinobi nations wary of our presence, just because we were afraid of a single shinobi that came from our own village?"

"We could always just give her to them. Put some sort of detonation seal on her that would take Kakuzu out as well" Commented a rather stubborn and overly cruel elder. "It's not like we truly use or depend on her. Once she's gone, we can claim that she went berserk or sacrificed herself to protect us…"

"That's a coward's tactic if I've ever heard of one." Growled a clan leader, getting many nods from the others in the room. "Even if we did that, Kakuzu would probably sniff out a trap like that the moment we showed that we weren't going to fight. Besides, despite the fact she is only a tool to the village, she is a valuable one. Part of the reason why so many people hire our village instead of going to the great 5 villages is because we can claim that we are the only minor village to have a bijū, which improves our image to the outside world. Take that away, and there goes all of our negotiation power with the other smaller nations…"

"… What if we… loan her to Konoha?" Pondered one female. "She would still be an ambassador, but she could also do some joint missions there, too? That way she could still be earning money for us, we could claim that she's furthering our relationship with them, and they could deal with Kakuzu when he finally comes. Once they deal with the traitor, we can request his body, since he is a member of our village and Konoha is noble like that, and then recall Fū…"

"Kakuzu is part of an organization that is after the bijū." Argued a man next to the speaker. "He wouldn't be the only strong one after her… otherwise, he wouldn't be working with others in the first place."

"Then we just ask for her back when the entire ordeal has passed." She waved her hand casually. "If she is captured, then we can blame Konoha for their lack of security. Besides, they already know that she is a jinchūriki from the messages we had exchanged with the Third, so while they may know that we are pushing our problems onto them, they also would be fools to turn this down, since they would get another bijū under their command for a while and increase their odds of driving back this organization. If we lose Fū, then we can claim damages from Konoha and ensure that the enemy won't come after us. If not, then we manage to rid ourselves of a major liability that we have been unable to scourge for far too long. It's a win-win scenario."

There was much deliberation about this decision.

"It is rather underhanded… but the benefits that could come out of it…" Muttered a civilian member.

"I don't like risking our resources in such a manner…" Grunted another. "… but considering the alternatives…"

"The message did say that the enemy was moving within 3 years…" Someone else spoke up. "We do not have to act immediately. Perhaps in a half a year to a year from now…"

"Enough!" Roared one of the eldest ones there. "We are speaking of taking a coward's way out before even attempting to handle the situation ourselves! If Kakuzu is such a threat that we would take such desperate actions, then we should consider passing the Earth Grudge Fear technique to our shinobi once more while we're at it."

Once more, the room was filled with mutterings and arguments…

However, it didn't interest the jinchūriki, who was secretly listening in on the conversation from the other side of one of the entrances. Smirking to herself, she walked away quietly, pleased at what had just happened. It had taken a fair amount of negation and secret bribes, sending messages back and forth between Scabbard and a couple of the influential members of the council that didn't truly hate her existence, but in the end, she had gotten what she had wanted. The suggestion of leaving her in the care of Konoha had made itself known, and the appeal to the method of doing so was there.

All she had to do now was wait and prepare.

o. o. o.

Suna:

Gaara sighed with his eyes closed as the fresh genin in his village were dismissed for the day. Since he was promoted to chūnin, other than being sent on multiple fairly high ranking escort and heavy combat missions, he and his siblings were frequently tasked with training academy students that were having trouble passing their final exam. It was fairly dull work since all they did was teach the shinobi hopefuls, some of whom were even older than he was, basic weaponry techniques and standard jutsu… that, and very few of the students were actually willing to be near him. Temari and Kankurō were more useful in that regard in that their moves were more accessible to others, as there were more than a few kids who had the potential to be puppeteers or had a wind element affinity.

His abilities, of course, couldn't be taught to anyone without a bijū inside of them or unless they had a magnetic bloodline and had a knack for moving small particles of particular physical elements…

Come to think of it… if his father had the Magnetic bloodline, why didn't it pass down to him or his siblings? He of course had a wind-earth alignment thanks to Shukaku and his natural habitat, Temari had a wind affinity, evident from how she was still using Ramidreju to try and fly around the village, and Kankurō…Kankurō…

Okay, there may be a chance that the puppeteer-in-training would be practicing lightning element manipulation in the very near future on the side… maybe he could channel it through his puppets in some way…

He paused for a moment as he felt someone's presence near him and opened his eyes slowly to see a couple of girls nearby looking at him curiously and nervously. ' _Matsuri and Sari…'_ The Kazekage-to-be mentally called up their names, remembering that the two would end up being among his most… energetic fans. "… Can I help you?" He asked in his tired and bored voice, causing the two to flinch.

"Ah…" Matsuri fumbled around wit he words, looking shyly away.

"… The thing is, we need help." Sari spoke up for herself and her friend, but it was easy to tell that the girl was also fairly nervous, evident from her shaking legs which she attempted to hide and ignore. It wasn't that hard to imagine, since he was only barely now getting people in his village to trust him again. "You're the strongest of all of our instructors, so we thought you could help us…"

The jinchūriki looked at the two with his same bored expression, up and down, taking in their appearance. "Specialties?" He asked, still doing a fake analysis. He already knew that Sari had potential as an iron cloth wielder, and Matsuri was built to be a standard kunoichi. Fairly adept at weapons and some medical ninjutsu, more so than others her age actually, but her specialty lay in trap making. Neither one had made it past genin before the time reversal, but they had gone on a few higher ranked missions regardless.

Matsuri looked down ashamed. "We were hoping you could help us with that…" She mumbled.

Gaara didn't blink or change his expression at all as he continued to look at the two some more. "What do you want to do?" He inquired.

"… What?" Sari asked intelligently, tilting her head to the side. "What do you mean by that?"

The red head closed his eyes. "Can you see yourself fighting strong shinobi in the future? Do you see yourself healing wounds? Making traps? Using large ninjutsu? Genjutsu? Tell me what field or style you think you think you qualify for right now, and how you wish to apply it."

The girls paused, not expecting the boy to be so analytical about their potential. They became slightly more relaxed as they focused more on what he said than the speaker himself. "I…" Matsuri stalled. "I really don't want to hurt someone. Weapons scare me since all they do is hurt people. I just want to help my comrades… but I'm weak. I don't have a lot of chakra or fighting potential…"

"I'm fine with fighting, and the instructors have told me that I'm adaptable, flexible, and good with my hands…" Sari started, "… but I'm like Matsuri. I would rather not hurt anyone if I had the option. My chakra levels are also slightly higher than a normal female too, if that helps…"

Gaara nodded in understanding, not opening his eyes once or acknowledging his siblings and some other students looking at them curiously. Without saying a word to either one of them, he slowly walked to the weapons table that many of the academy students were taking their future tools from and picked up the weapons that he knew would fit them best. "This is a jōyo." He stated before twirling it around himself rather expertly, despite not really being used to using weapons. "It's made for capturing opponents and limbs, not for doing damage." He also took out some ninja wire. "This is standard wire. It's very useful for setting up traps. It can be as lethal as a ninjutsu, or as harmless as the jōyo. It's up to the wielder to determine its use." He gave both to Matsuri. "You seem to appear to be a potential trap specialist. Indirect and varying in lethality, yet invaluable in setting up situations that can increase a team's chances of survival… however, I don't know if you have the right creativity for it. If not… either practice and study, or switch to something else. Possibly medical ninjutsu, since you wish to focus on helping comrades rather than fighting."

"Y-yes!" The shocked girl fumbled on her words as she took the equipment from the future Kazekage.

Gaara turned back to the table and took out a large roll of cloth from it. "Cloth. A fairly standard and not unheard of weapon from Suna, but is just as dangerous none the less. A good weapon in the hands of a strong wielder in mid-ranged combat, but a true master can also make use of it at close range as well. It can be used for offense and defense, turning clothing into both weapons and armor, but its specialty lies in ensnaring and confusing opponents. It takes some chakra to manipulate properly, but it is negligible with someone of even slightly higher than average reserves." He handed the roll to Sari, who was gaping at him… no doubt surprised that he was talking to them so much when he barely said anything since he'd first appeared.

"T-thanks Gaara-sensei…" Sari stumbled over her words, not believing that a boy that was younger than she was had picked out a future specialty for her so easily.

"I am not proficient in either one of your potential styles." Gaara stated, seemingly ignoring the showing of gratitude. "At best, I can only teach you the basics and help you condition your bodies and chakra control… which is all that you actually need in order to qualify to become genin. Once you graduate though, you will have to find your own teachers to progress any further in those fields."

"R-right!" Both of the students nodded, getting more used to the jinchūriki's instructions. Clearly his personality and mannerisms were different from what the villager's had made him out to be.

"Gaara!" A new party shouted from overhead, gaining the attention of all 3 teens there. They turned to see Temari standing on Ramidreju like a surf board, floating in midair a couple dozen feet away and above them. "Hurry up! I'm starving! That new place opened up on the other side of town and I want to check it out before it becomes packed! My treat! You can talk to your new friends later!"

"What about Kankurō?" Gaara asked in a slightly louder voice, but still maintaining his even tone.

"Screw him! The shit ran out of his kabuki makeup this morning and he raided my makeup drawer instead!" The blonde girl raged. "The bastard left everything a mess and it took forever to put everything back the way it was. Plus, it would take forever for him to follow us too! If he wants to catch up, he'd better make a flying puppet or something to do so."

"I don't think he's a wind element, but it's certainly an idea." The sand manipulator commented before a platform of the substance formed itself in front of him. He turned to the two girls still on the ground. "If my suggestions are appealing, study the styles and practice the basics. For now, you should focus more on your conditioning. There's no point in being a master of your art if you can only use your tricks once or twice before running out of stamina."

"Hurry up already! You can talk to your girlfriends later!" Temari yelled irritably. The girl was normally fairly calm and level headed, but when she got hungry… or when Shikamaru was around… those traits had a tendency to get thrown out the window.

"They are my students." Gaara countered in a factual tone as he rose up into the sky and the two floated across the town, ignoring the looks of shock that were on said girl's faces. "You do not see me tearing you away from Shikamaru…"

"That's because he runs away by himself." The elder teen grunted with a twitching eyebrow before calming down and taking out a scroll and tossing it to her brother. "I got a message from Konoha recently. They want me to come over to be an ambassador again, and this time they want you to come as well. This time for around 3 months, which is a really long time. The council is pretty irritated about it, but since we nearly betrayed them, our hands are tied." She glanced at the jinchūriki. "Mind telling me why they really want you to come over?"

Gaara scanned the letter several times before he rolled it up again. "They've secured a method for me to fully control Shukaku." He stated in a calm tone.

Temari barely managed to regain control of herself and Ramidreju and prevent from falling from the sky before staggering back to Gaara's height. "What?" She hissed disbelievingly. "Are… are you serious! No one's ever managed to tame Shukaku before! How the heck are you supposed to do it?"

"I… have heard that there is another jinchūriki who has absolute control of his beast." Gaara spoke carefully as they traveled. "My contacts have managed to set up a strong link with his superiors and as such managed to procure some of his time and his special training ground to use. As for who it is and who will come with me… that is unfortunately something I have not been told as of yet."

"Why don't you tell the council that you've found a way to control your bijū though?" The eldest sibling asked in a skeptical tone.

"Surely you must be aware of our strained relationship with Konoha at the moment." The youngest responded. "We are allies, yes, but our almost-betrayal has made both sides wary of one another. If we were upfront about this method of training for me, there would be a huge debate and internal struggle to determine if we even should or not, then another handful of debates to see if we can get anything else out of it or not. It is time wasted on useless activities, and time is something we need to use carefully these days."

Temari slowly nodded. She understood the logic behind what her brother had said, and even though it irritated her to think that the best move was to hide valuable information from her superiors, essentially committing treason, the outcome of this endeavor would be well worth it in the end. "… Fine… I really don't like it when you do stuff like this under everyone's noses… and I REALLY don't like the fact that you're using me to do this, but at least you told me what you were going to do. You owe me, though…"

"Name it." Gaara stated as they began to sink to the ground to where the restaurant was, ignoring the looks of awe that he often got from the villagers whenever he used his sand as transportation.

The girl smirked as she landed and twirled the weapon in one hand, causing it to collapse almost reflexively and slid it onto a holster on her back. "I'll think of something. Now come on, I'm hungry and Kankurō isn't around for me to vent on until my order comes."

"…I told you we should have just brought him along anyways…"

o. o. o.

South of Konoha:

Roughly 2 dozen men and women were sitting around a campsite. All of them looked irritated, hungry, and dangerous in some way.

"I thought the brat was supposed to make land by now." Grunted one of the women there, dirty looking and not easy on the eyes.

"We told you already, bitch, the ship's been delayed for about a week for some reason." An older looking man growled.

"Fuck you." She spat back. "The only reason why we're all still here is because there's power in numbers and that we all want to kill off Namikaze's blood once and for all."

"You mean you still haven't heard?" Chuckled a rather handsome, if not ragged looking man to the side.

"Heard what?" She snapped.

"Word is that we've all been guided by some anti-Konoha group." He snorted. "We're all kept together in this area so that we can kill off Namikaze, hiding Han by not getting caught, while causing some chaos in the Land of Fire while not starting a war. Why else do you think we've had such an easy time hiding from hunters lately? Do you honestly think that all of us are still that good at hiding our tracks after being caged for so long?" He snorted. "It's been an inside job from the beginning, and we're just convenient pawns used to hide the rook. Odds are when the job is finally done, we'll either be sold out immediately and found to be working on our own so that Iwa can't be held accountable for this, or we'll be killed off by a sleeper among us."

"That sounds like something the higher-ups would do…" Chuckled one of the oldest women there as she spat on a fire, somehow making it even bigger in the process. "I remember hearing stories from my mother about Mu-dono doing similar things and then some with traitors and cowards under his rule. A cruel, but surprisingly efficient strategy. There was rumors that my uncle was among those used and thrown away like that…"

"What about Han, though?" Frowned another middle aged male. "He's too valuable to simply throw away like that…"

"Others would argue otherwise." Chuckled the man next to him. "I used to be on the council before I got caught embezzling funds. Han has no friends there. Odds are that he'd just be captured and the Gobi gets ripped out of him and placed in a new vessel."

"Sucks to be whoever the poor kid is." Chuckled one of the youngest members of the group, a boy no older than 15. "Hey, you think if we take out Han and offer him to a village after we kill Namikaze, we can cover our asses?"

"Doubt it." A middle aged woman snorted. "He's considered a weapon for a reason, you know. Ever see a jinchūriki when they get going? I saw the A-B combo in action during the Third War. Fuck that. Even if Han doesn't have nearly as much control as B does, I'm not getting anywhere near a jinchūriki if I have to fight it at some point. He could probably take out all of us at once if he really went nuts."

"Can't really blame him for gunning for us after we kill the kid anyways." Sighed an older member of the group. "Jinchūriki get treated like shit from the get-go, after all. Few ever get friends, even family if they aren't related to the local Kage in some way. I heard Rōshi only turned out remotely normal because he's related to Ōnoki distantly, and even then, the man is rarely sober…"

"A monster is a monster. There's no changing that." Snapped another younger man. "And we're going to kill the son of the biggest monster there is. After that, we can decide on how to deal with our own."

The grumblings and musing went on around the fire…

A small distance away from them all, the towering and armored form of the Gobi jinchūriki turned and walked away from the group. He knew and wasn't surprised that these cowards would attempt to kill him the moment the Namikaze brat was offed, but it was hard to restrain the impulse to just kill these weaklings right here and now. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed them in order to find the kid. After that… well, it was always easier to fight with large area destructive techniques when there was no one important around…

Inside of him, the Gobi chuckled in agreement…

o. o. o.

Kiri:

He woke up with a splitting headache, a sore body, foggy vision, and not knowing where he was. If he didn't know the real reason why he was in that state, he would have sworn off any form of alcohol for the next year instead of thinking about getting smashed as soon as possible.

"God damn it…" Zabuza moaned as he picked himself up and cradled his head. "No wonder they make them when they're kids…"

"Actually, it's because they have a higher chance of survival…" Chuckled the familiar deep raspy voice of Waltz Ōgakari from the bedroom door. "Granted, you kept your body in phenomenal shape, which improved your odds, then there was your rather surprising condition, but without myself or Crypt to aid in the procedure, you would have most likely died."

"Second time's the charm." The assassin snorted as he looked around. It was a fairly basic room with some medical equipment attached to his arms. "How long?"

"Roughly a week and a half." The immortal shrugged. "There have been shifts between Haku, myself, and the ANBU that were present during the procedure looking over you. There have also been some arguments about you being in the village, but so far no one has tried to do anything outrageously stupid yet… well, other than Crypt, but we all knew that." He walked in and started to check up on the man. "I've prevented your body from atrophying while you rested, but it is not uncommon to be a bit stiff after being in bed for so long regardless. You will also have to be careful with your training now due to your increased reserves. I suggest you start focusing on your control and Presence in order to get a new feel for things."

"No kidding…" Zabuza mused as he quickly checked on his chakra reserves and nearly lost balance when he felt how different it was from normal. It didn't do much for his headache. "Tch… at least I managed to get the brat to teach me the shadow clone technique a few months back…" He rubbed his eyes. "So where the hell are we, anyway? We aren't in a hospital, despite all the shit here…"

"You're in one of the ANBU barracks hidden in the village." Mei spoke up as she walked into the room. "I see that you aren't dead yet."

"You almost sound disappointed." The bedridden man grunted. "What have you told everyone about my disappearance?"

The woman casually waved her hand. "Oh, something along the lines of you irritating Ringo one too many times and he decided to get back at you for old times' sake. He played along without any argument… in fact, he seemed to enjoy it. A few other rumors have started that I executed you and that we have Kubikiri Hōchō again, and one more thinks that I have you in some kind of secret prison of mine and am brainwashing you to be my slave…"

"Probably beats being a slave to Scab, that's for sure…" Zabuza grumbled under his breath.

Mei pouted. "Oh? Darn, and here I thought you were straight."

"I'm trying to help prevent a new world order, not gay, woman." The sharp toothed man growled as he picked himself out of the bed shakily before looking at her. "I'm fairly certain that your single status can be blamed on similar reasons."

The Mizukage stiffened as if electrocuted before glaring at the speaker darkly. "Zabuza… shut up or I will kill you…"

"Not likely." The man laughed, not at all intimidated by the woman's killing intent. "I'm too valuable now…"

Mei smirked. "Only to a handful of people, Zabuza. The Sanbi still is technically in the hands of Kiri, after all… not even Akatsuki would be the wiser about what we've done to you…"

"Whatever." Zabuza rolled his eyes as he ripped the equipment off of his arms, got up, and walked towards his sword and some clothes which was in the corner of the room. "You were just as caught off guard by this plan as much as I was. Hell, I'm surprised you even let us go through with it."

The Mizukage calmed down and looked away distantly. "… I wasn't at first… however, of all the people that I knew of… you were the least likely to abuse that power in particular."

"Oh, I'll abuse it all right." The swordsman grinned savagely as he re-applied his wrappings around his head. "I've found that humiliating Kisame just once just didn't satisfy me as much as I thought it should..."

"Ah… and here I thought that embarrassing him in front of thousands of spectators in Iron would have been enough for you." Waltz mused in a faraway tone. "Such a greedy young man…"

The room was silent for several more minutes as the recently arisen man put on his clothes as they pondered what they were doing next. "So do you have anything else planned while I'm here?" Zabuza mused. "I figured that the old man and Haku had dealt with all the other political crap while I was out."

"And then some." Waltz groaned with a wry smile on his face. "Kiri is such a stubborn country to negotiate with. I fear that we will need to have frequent meetings over the next few years to even come close to having a solid alliance set up."

"Indeed." Mei smirked. "So long as our villages can't agree on anything, the world would just see us at a ceasefire instead of actual comrades… a shame really…"

"I'm crying rivers." Zabuza snorted sarcastically. "And for now?"

The woman crossed her arms. "Well, I may have given the new genin who were handpicked to become the next generation of 7 Swordsmen the impression that you might be interested in how they are turning out. You've already seen how Chōjurō fights with Hiramekarei, and Suigetsu has taken to using Shibuki, but he is attempting to follow in his brother's footsteps and trying to learn how to use all the ones we have on hand…"

Zabuza deadpanned. "So you basically stuck me with teaching kenjutsu 101 for a couple of weeks. Great." He took in a deep breath and then paused. "… Well, whatever else you have planned for me will have to wait. I smell like ass, and after Kakashi took me out by that alone, I've made sure that I don't have a distinctive scent at all times." He latched his massive weapon onto his back. "I'll be out by one of the training lakes that double as springs. I can at least get control of my chakra and not stink at the same time that way." He stopped by the door. "One last thing though… what happened to the other half?"

Waltz smiled. "We subdued it without any trouble as soon as we were finished with you. It's currently being held in a undisclosed location and kept unconscious until we figure out what to do with it."

The man nodded as he walked away again, multiple thoughts running through his mind about what to do in the near future...

The first and foremost was how to train to get used to absurd amount of demonic Yin chakra in his body…

o. o. o.

Omake:

Why Ghost and Shadow did not attend the meeting:

He was trapped inside. He would probably die from this, but it did not bother him, for this would be a glorious death. It held meaning and purpose far surpassing the mass bulk of deaths he had gone through for himself and for others.

Inside his clear prison, where the air density and pressure was already at inhumane levels, he kept himself alive via absolute focus and control, and watched as his sister approached him, her arms already enlarged and mimicking that of her tenant's claws. Next to him, he could see similar massive prisons linked to his with intense air pressure in each and every one of them, though there were no prisoners in them. That was fine. This honor and glory was his and his alone.

The massive claws approached the strip of prisons and slowly began to grab multiple prisons at once, including his. They squeezed.

The pain was excruciating as the pressure built up, but he was used to such minor things. He would see this through. Tighter and tighter the hands gripped, until all at once the prisons exploded with immense force...

And he was one with the moment...

He was one... with the ultimate...

Bubble wrap...

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yes. Yes, I did just do that to the Sanbi. Yes… I am the king of awesome. Worship me.

Shorter than my normal chapters, yes, but I bum rushed about ¾ of this thing with Hurricane Irene about to impale my ass and kill power, so tough.

Anyways, I've been splitting my author time between this and a new story I started, From Fake Dreams. It's a fate stay night based fic, and no, it doesn't have an Ōgakari presence. It's gotten a fair bit of attention lately, and from the reviews so far people seem to like it a lot.

So onto other news. I have a job. It takes up time. It pays well. And it leaves me wanting to sleep as soon as I get back home, so chapters will most likely take longer to finish now. Don't blame me, blame my love for wanting to have money on hand.

Fan art: Holy shit. I have gotten some very VERY nice pieces lately:

Shadow and Zuzushi colored in and done by my sister. Her best work so far:

ak uunkyande .deviant art # /d47mhp0

Super Chibi Ghost. Seriously. Thanks APHgreenland:

aph greenland. deviantart # /d46mbd4

This one… I just squee'd when I saw it. I couldn't help it. All hail JessieC92:

jessiec92. deviantart #/ d46524k

Saiyapen is just nuts. He's done Crypt, Ghost, and Scab, and other than Ghost's superchin, they are all Amazing :

saiyapen. deviantart ga llery/#/d 418won

saiyapen. deviantart ga llery/309 65019#/d3gehk5

saiyapen. deviantart g allery/30 965019#/d3g ehzb

Last but not least is from talthecap. Ghost, and very well done:

talthecap. deviantart # /d3nglpf

So that's about it this time. Because of the way the chapter turned out, the ending might take a small bit longer to get to than expected, but yeah, it's this story so there's no real rush. Brownphantom has a poll for best Naruto author on the site… vote for me and stuff, and… yeah, check out my other story if you haven't already and tell me what you think.

So anyways. REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! PRAY THAT HURRICANE IRENE DOESN'T COMPLETELY FUCK ME OVER! AND REVIEW AGAIN DAMN IT! THE FLOW'S BEEN DRYING UP THESE PAST COUPLE OF CHAPTERS! I SWEAR THERELL BE LOTS OF EPIC FIGHTING SOON!


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 70: Pop quiz for all the males reading this. If you had to choose one of these two things and give up the other for all eternity, which would you choose: Blow jobs… or cheese? Think about that for a moment. … Yeah… that's a really hard question isn't it?

I don't own Naruto. Get used to it. I do own the Ōgakari and their awesomeness, so Ha!

o. o. o.

The Boat:

"How much longer are we going to wait here?" Kiba asked the rest of the shinobi next to him as they waited in front of Naruto's room door.

"He's still asleep." Neji frowned with his eyes active. "Whatever the hell he did that night must have severely drained his reserves."

"Can't we just wake his ass up and verbally abuse him now?" Kin moaned. "I want to get to the breakfast buffet before it closes."

Ino shook her head. "I wouldn't do that. Even if this is supposed to be a relaxing cruise, Naruto's made a habit of trapping the living daylights out of any room he stays in. Neji once tried to do something like that once before, thinking his eyes would manage to catch everything. He spent the next two weeks with all his hair dyed in Technicolor with sparkles… ALL of his hair, if what rumors say are true…"

"Those rumors are greatly exaggerated." The Hyūga growled, not catching Hinata attempting not to smile and nodding slightly in contrast behind his back.

"Still… we must inform Naruto of his great error." Lee stated energetically. "His carelessness that night nearly caused the ship to capsize. Everyone was caught completely off guard… and even now, he has yet to recover from expending so much chakra, which is surprising considering the rate at which he normally recovers…"

"It usually means that he's been using… its… powers when he was training." Hinata started slowly. "Prolonged use does serious damage to him. His body has adapted to it very well from what I've heard, but overdoing it still impairs his regeneration abilities…"

"What should we do then?" Sai tilted his head to the side curiously. "If we let him continue this training, then he would either be of no use to us should we encounter an enemy later, or he would end up killing us in the process by accident…"

"We keep an eye on him." Neji stated in a no nonsense tone. "We make sure that when he recovers, he doesn't do anything moronic like that again. I don't care if you have to stab him every 5 minutes to make sure he didn't switch himself out with a clone, don't let him leave."

Hinata sighed. "Or… I could just talk to him after he wakes up."

"Not gonna lie… Hinata's idea has a better chance of working." Kin raised her hand.

"I agree with Kin-chan." Lee raised his as well.

"What they said." Kiba nodded.

"Ditto." Ino joined in.

"I'm with the majority." Sai mused.

Neji's eyebrow twitched. "Sure, why not? We can also have her do it in that risky bathing suit too for added effect."

Ino's eyes sparkled. "Oooh! That would definitely do it! Hinata, that boy is like your man slave when you have that beauty on! Do it! Show him who is in charge of the relationship. Power to the women!" She turned to Kin and grinned slyly. "You should do the same with your suit for Lee. Maybe have a few private taijutsu lessons with him in it too…"

"H-hey! I'm not like that!" The girl blushed and pretended to ignore Lee's horrible attempts at not looking hopeful. "I just have my own personal style! Lee has nothing to do with this."

"Why is it people always mistake my sarcasm for me being serious?" Neji asked out loud in a resigned manner.

"… I thought that we were supposed to be planning on how to keep Naruto from killing us all by accident…" Kiba wept comically. Akamaru whimpered, feeling his partner's pain.

The group was so busy in their own chaos that they didn't notice Naruto's door open to reveal a very exhausted looking blonde in his pajamas complete with night cap. "Hey guys…" He rasped out weakly, only to be ignored. "Guys…" He spoke a bit louder, still to no avail. "OI!" He barked out irritably, shutting them all up at once. "Do you mind? I'm kinda trying to sleep here."

The 7 teens blinked in confusion before realizing the blonde was awake now. "R-Right." Neji stammered, clearly not prepared to encounter the boy at that moment. "Um… Naruto… can you not… you know… train and practice jutsu of mass destruction in the middle of the night anymore? You kind of almost capsized the boat two nights ago…"

The blonde blinked tiredly at Neji as he slowly processed what the elder boy had said. "… Shit… really?" He asked tiredly, but not at all worried. "Crap… it was stronger than I had guessed, then… Sorry guys. I thought I could at least test that one out since we were in the middle of nowhere, but I guess I forgot about the wave the aftershock would make…" He yawned and scratched the back of his head. "Two nights ago? Man, I must have been more drained than I thought… Ah well… that one was an absolute last resort anyways… probably not going to need it… spent most of my time working on that other technique… fucking 87 seals… took me forever to memorize all of them right and in three damned days, I managed to cut it in half… didn't even have to use clones for it either…" He yawned heavily again and blinked as he noticed everyone was still looking at him warily. "I'm just going back to sleep. If you want to be creepy and stalk me, fine. I'm pretty much done with my prep training. You can tell the captain that he doesn't have to go slow anymore for my sake…" He paused for a moment as he looked at Hinata skeptically. "… Shadow clone?"

The girl froze before shifting in place. "Y-yeah…" She mumbled, embarrassed she was caught.

Kiba blinked in surprise. "Really? How the hell did you figure that out so quickly?"

The blonde deadpanned. "The cafeteria's still open for breakfast and we're on a luxury cruise ship. You'd be hard pressed to find one that doesn't have cinnamon buns as part of the buffet. Unless it's a life or death situation, Hinata-chan wouldn't ditch an opportunity to get her hands on one… or twenty… especially if they're free."

"I'm stuck between impressed that you managed to deduce such a conclusion so accurately while still so weary… and somewhat ashamed that a jōnin level technique is being used for such childish reasons…" Sai mused.

"Remind me to have Ero-sennin and Ero-nii tell you some of their stories about some of the more bizarre perverted things they've done and the jutsu they used to do said things later… or not, depending on how much you value your peace of mind…" Naruto sighed.

"Doesn't it bug you at all that you almost killed us by accident?" Ino asked incredulously.

"Not really." Naruto hazily replied. "No damage was done, everyone's all right, and now I know that I really need to put more distance between myself and anyone else whenever I use it now. Plus, with the number of times I've almost been killed by Ero-nii and his folks, I'm pretty much merciless to people put in similar situations so long as they are actually capable."

"To just… with such… and he simply…" Neji stumbled words, not able to truly express how frustrated and shocked he was with his captain's casual dismissal of almost killing his team.

"What the hell was that technique anyways? It was HUGE, man. I didn't even see it but I could actually FEEL something messed up was happening." Kiba frowned. "I mean, our expectations of what you can do in terms of mass destruction are pretty generous to begin with, but even so, THAT was way too far out there to simply brush off, dude."

"Like I said, it's my absolute last resort." The jinchūriki grumbled irritably, clearly wanting to go back to sleep again. "To be honest, I don't plan on ever using it period. I just came across it when I was experimenting with some of my other jutsu one day. Can I sleep now? My body's killing me."

Neji sighed. "Sure, so long as you promise not to train until we get back home… how much longer do you need to rest before you get back to top condition, anyways?"

"Sure, no more boom booms till we get back to the place with the crabby lady. Got it. As for recovery time…" Naruto blinked before scrunching up his face, obviously trying to do a self-assessment. "Um… I think I need another day or two before I can confidently fight full throttle. Now if you don't mind, I'm sleeping some more. Night…" He casually sighed before the entrance to the room was shut once more.

On the other side of the door, the blonde sighed to himself. "… Well, that went better than expected…"

" **Indeed…"** The Kyūbi agreed within him. The beast had been more… willing to work with the boy, and as a sort of reward, Naruto in turn allowed it to have more awareness of the outside world and changed its cage so that it was slightly more… accommodating than it was before… meaning that it wasn't a sewer or simply a cage with concrete walls and flooring, but a cage with an occasional giant soft area for the beast to lay in comfortably and if it was truly lucky, a massive animal to maul. At first it had been enraged that the boy had given it items that were just supersized versions of what he had seen at the Inuzuka compound… but it rather conveniently stopped that after a few weeks. **"Normally I am scorned, cursed and hunted whenever I nearly bring destruction to others…"**

"Yeah… but you tend to do actions of mass property damage on purpose…" The container sweatdropped.

" **I fail to see the significance in that difference."** The beast retorted haughtily.

"Just stop talking." Naruto sighed as he flopped onto his bed. "I'm still beat. You can gripe to me about the hypocrisy of humans later."

" **Careful, kit. Keep speaking to me with that tone and you will find your nights rather unpleasant…"** The Kyūbi growled, not liking being talked down to.

"Well if you weren't so biased about the subject, maybe I wouldn't have such a low opinion about your perspective on things." The boy retorted. "Humans are jerks a lot of the time, yeah, but when you start to go on for over an hour about how badly we smell and how it causes the world to smell like the Yonbi's ass, one can't help but get a bit irritated at how long you take to get nowhere about these kinds of things…" He closed his eyes. "Go talk to mom and dad about something already if you're that bored. Maybe you'll learn something interesting for once…"

" **I'll have you know your foul species…"** That was as far as the beast managed to get out before Naruto cut off the link between his beast and himself. He wasn't kidding when he said he was beat. His limbs were all still incredibly heavy from having so much chakra run through them for so long and then not having said juice. It was something that he admitted could be very addicting if not managed correctly.

Letting out a slow breath, the boy closed his eyes and fell asleep again. He had a feeling he would need it soon enough…

o. o. o.

Kiri:

Zabuza smirked as he watched the 5 young shinobi in front of him get put through a hell of his own design. It had only been a couple of days since he had woken up, but so far the task of regaining his chakra control wasn't doing as horribly as he thought it was going to be… partially because he already knew what he had to do, and partially because he realized the joys in abusing the living daylights out of the shadow clone technique. He couldn't go for the 1000 plus numbers that Naruto had practically become famous for, but a good 400 clones was nothing to scoff at either.

"Sensei…" Moaned Chōjurō as he swung Hiramekarei for what seemed like the millionth time. The boy was drenched, but whether it was from his sweat or from the humidity of the local area had yet to be determined. "We've been swinging all day. I know that stamina is important for us, but there's a limit to what we can do…"

"Hmm…" The man grunted as he put on a thoughtful expression. "You might be right. I have been forcing you to do drills for at least 6 hours…"

The next generation fighters all breathed out in relief…

"I guess now it's time for your sparring practice…" He grinned, dashing their hopes instantly.

"Come on!" Suigetsu yelled. "Seriously? We don't even get a break!"

"You can rest when you're dead." The man frowned as he motioned Haku to step up. "My apprentice and daughter had to train with me while we were constantly running and fighting from hunters. I can't tell you how many times she was forced to jump straight from practical to application…"

"Yeah…" Grunted a rather muscular boy named Shinji, who had been decided to be the next wielder of Kabutowari. "But she isn't a sword wielder and had to swing these things for hours on end…"

The eldest snorted before looking at his daughter. "Haku, if you would please?"

The girl sighed before making several seals and extending her right arm. Soon enough, her elbow onward was encased in a giant spear of ice. "I'll be your opponent for this spar." She stated in a calm and no nonsense tone. "Please treat me well…"

"H-Hyōton?" Stammered a girl, Kairi, who had been chosen to wield the Kiba. "She's a bloodline user?"

"Make them cry." The man grinned savagely, causing Haku to dash forward with speed that would even put Lee on edge and thrust forward at Shinji, who barely managed to deflect the attack.

"F-Fast!" The teen grunted before he attempted to counter… only for Haku to move out of range and attack the new wielder of Nuibari, some lanky kid that Zabuza hadn't bothered to learn the name of yet.

"What the hell?" Suigetsu blinked. "I thought she was only going to fight Shinji. Whoa!" He jumped out of the way before Haku nearly speared him through.

"Please…" Zabuza snorted. "Haku's enough to take all 5 of you at once right now. Since you're all so confident in your abilities and weapons, you should at best manage to squeak out a win out of her… if you were in peak condition and very lucky, at least…"

"Stupid bitch!" Shinji roared as he brought his axe like blade down on Haku from behind… only for her to actually block it. Her cold eyes didn't flinch as the boy grinned evilly and slammed down the hammer that was joined to his weapon with his other hand onto the backside of the sword. "DIE ALREADY!"

The ground caved underneath the girl as the rest of the trainees backed away from the shockwave… yet they all gaped as they saw that Haku remained where she stood, only her body was encased in shattering ice and the spear around her arm remained unharmed. "The fuck?" Suigetsu shouted in disbelief.

 _'The ice she conjured around her body took the force of the blow and channeled it into the ground…'_ Chōjurō thought as he watched the ice around the girl fall off harmlessly and the wearer slash at Shinji, cutting him mildly across his stomach but clearly taking him out for the rest of the fight. ' _Her control over her element must be phenomenal if it was able to protect her from Kabutowari's barrier shattering properties so completely…'_

 _'It isn't just her control and quick thinking that protected her from that blow.'_ Zabuza mused. ' _Kabutowari is designed to inject chakra into its target and disrupt it from the inside and use the dregs to increase the physical power. It's a surprisingly difficult weapon to use and requires a fairly high level of chakra control to utilize properly. The problem is that if the user can't pulse their chakra hard enough or if he doesn't have the right control, only 1 of the 2 effects will be made. Haku's ice is ridiculously strong by itself and nearly impossible to get rid of when supported by chakra. The kid needs to master his weapon completely if he wants a shot at getting to her. Even if he was fighting at full stamina, the results would have been the same.'_ "Fact." The eldest swordsman sighed. "If ice is formed properly, its molecular bonds are 3 times as strong as steel's." He chuckled. "Have fun with that."

"I got her!" Kairi yelled with her twin lightning charged weapons striking down on Haku… only to be blocked on both ends as the ice user's other arm encased itself in another spear. "Oh come on!" She yelled clearly frustrated while they pushed up against one another. "Why aren't you getting shocked by my swords?"

"Ice doesn't conduct electricity." Haku calmly answered as she began to push the girl back with ease. All 5 of her opponents were exhausted from their training while she was fresh, but even so, all of them were still nowhere near the level she was at in skill and experience. "If you truly studied your element… you would have known that by now…" Without even looking, she swung one arm back and parried an attack by the Nuibari user, disarming him and cutting him across the chest deeply before jumping back do dodge a devastating overhead combo from Chōjurō and Suigetsu, reverse-clotheslining the stunned and cut lanky boy in the process. "2 down already?" She tilted her head to the side as she saw that she had pretty much K.O.'ed 2 of her opponents. "Maybe they were weaker than I had originally guessed…"

"Does she have eyes on the back of her head?" Kairi hissed as she distanced herself from her opponent.

"No…" Chōjurō whispered. "You probably couldn't notice from being so close, but her spears aren't simple cones. They're layered like scales. When she locked weapons with you, some of those scales stood on end. My guess is that she used them to keep an eye on her back by looking at what they reflected…"

"Shouldn't really expect anything less from Zabuza's apprentice…" Suigetsu laughed bitterly as he hefted his weapon into a ready stance. "She's freaking insane in skills and speed and she still doesn't leave any openings. Guess there's some skills you can only get from being brought up on the lamb…"

"You're still going to try and beat her, aren't you?" Chōjurō sighed.

"Boy, will I." The Hozuki grinned ferally and took a swinging stance. "Let me show you guys something I saw my brother do with this baby once…" The roll of exploding tags on his sword began to spin rapidly. "Let's just hope I can do this right this time!" He shouted happily as he swung, and in the process dozens if not hundreds of tags flew separately to Haku, lit and on the verge of exploding.

… But the ice wielder didn't blink or look scared at all as she raised one of her arms and the scales on the weapon all flared up at once with an audible crack, revealing the needles that they hid underneath. "An interesting technique… but not at all useful against me…" She mused as she unleashed an uncountable number of senbon at the oncoming wave of explosive paper, piercing each and every one of them… and launching them back to their sender.

"Are you serious?" Suigetsu moaned, clearly more frustrated than surprised that his technique was turned on him and the fact that he was on the verge of being blown to kingdom come.

"RUN!" Chōjurō shouted with fear as he and his remaining 2 teammates bolted before they were taken out by their own attack.

Zabuza laughed lightly as he watched Haku absolutely destroy the kids without any restraint. The amusing thing was that so long as she knew that she didn't have to kill or cripple her opponents, Haku was actually just as sadistic and cruel as he was on the battlefield… though she would never actually admit it herself. It really made him proud to see how his daughter had grown up so much in such a short amount of time by herself while he was busy with other matters…

He really got a good look at just how much she had improved 2 weeks ago…

o. o. o.

Flashback:

"This is going to hurt like a bitch, isn't it?" The Demon of the Mist deadpanned as Crypt's blood stopped moving on his back, forming a very intricate seal for containing the Yin half of the Sanbi's chakra.

"Oh, maliciously." Waltz chuckled without pity. "But you'll live, which is more than what others could say in your position…"

"Don't I feel special." The assassin rolled his eyes. "One thing, though… if this seal's on my back, why did you tell me to take off my pants and do all this in my shorts?"

The old man laughed an octave lower. "Simple, I wanted to see if you actually would…" He turned to look at Mei who was looking both apprehensive… and somewhat giddy as she occasionally stole glances at the almost naked man every few seconds. "Plus, I wanted to see how others would react to your current state too…"

"… I hate your clan… so much. I swear, once Madara's gone, I'm gunning for all of you next…" Zabuza stated emotionlessly.

Haku giggled. "Don't be like that. You could do worse… and honestly, I think you need a woman in your life that can keep you in check…" She looked far off into the distance and put on a fake dream like expression. "You know, I've always wanted a strong mother figure in my life…"

"Don't make me put you on the list after them, Haku." The assassin warned. "Because I really would do it if you keep it up…."

The strategy was simple, yet brilliant at the same time. Zabuza would have half of the bijū sealed within him while the other half would be in Kiri's custody. Kiri would leak out information that they have in their possession the entire bijū, not like anyone else could really tell the difference, and Akatsuki would go after the bijū in what would of course be a set up trap and take out a member if possible, and if not, they would be dragging along a tracking device hidden on the tailed beast for future ambush opportunities. Regardless of what happened to Kiri's half of the Sanbi, Akatsuki would be caught completely blindsided by Zabuza wielding the other half later on.

In a sense, he would be the secret weapon for the secret weapons.

The reason why Zabuza could handle actually holding a portion of the Sanbi inside him was what caught the group off guard the most, though. Apparently, the man had a slight affinity and resistance to demonic chakra thanks to him hanging around Yagura for so long during their childhood and helping the Yondaime Mizukage control his beast almost every step of the way. The proof was in the pudding… er… Presence. The demonic image that he conjured up from his will actually represented the scale and control of demonic power he had under his belt. His training with the Ōgakari had inadvertently increased his body's natural tolerance and concentration of demonic energy that he held within him. It was nowhere near as much as a bijū's, and his body produced the chakra itself instead of being supplied it, but it was enough to make him a prime candidate for being a container for half of the Sanbi's chakra… granted that he had someone of Waltz's medical experience and Crypt's seal mastery at hand, of course.

The logic behind giving Zabuza the Yin chakra was also simple. Yin chakra created stuff from chakra while Yang chakra gives stuff that already exists extra meaning. In short, it's like the difference between firing off a water technique from your mouth and firing one off from the water around you. The yin equals evil and yang equals good stuff was just superstitious crap made up by civilians and monks who wanted to sell trinkets. Anyways, with the boatload of Yin chakra at his disposal… once he learned how to use it, at least… Zabuza would be able to not only produce large amounts of water and mist should he ever be caught without his weapon, but also infuse it with his mist to give it the hallucinogenic properties that Zabuza recalled Yagura producing naturally whenever he made mist.

Zabuza almost snorted at the thought of how easy it would be to pick off targets that not only couldn't see in front of their faces, but were for lack of a better term tripping balls in the process, making a ton of noise for him to locate with and hence off them while they can't even defend themselves…

He doubted that it would work with Scab, though… though he almost wished that taking the bastard down wouldn't be that easy to begin with…

"Is everything in place?" Mei asked as she walked up to the group, pausing momentarily to look at Zabuza again.

"Please don't be shy, Mei, look again. I'm fairly certain there's another inch of skin you missed the last 20 times you almost raped me with your eyes." Zabuza sarcastically grunted. "By all means, ignore the fact that I'm going to have a massive demon turtle shoved into my body in the next 20 minutes…"

"He's such a thoughtful person…" Waltz sighed aridly before turning to the Mizukage. "The preparations are done here…" He glanced to the middle of the massive underground lake where several ANBU were managing the scroll that contained the Sanbi. "Are they done on their end?"

Mei nodded. "Yes. They are merely waiting for our signal. Once given, they will release the Sanbi and run away in order to ensure that they do not get stuck in the ritual, and serve as backup should it fail."

The old man nodded before turning to Crypt who was standing in front of the group, chuckling and swaying side to side as if just waiting for the command to do something. "Set us up."

Without a moment's hesitation, the insane man cracked his head sickeningly to the side in an instant, enlarging and spinning his demonic scythe around his neck at a bizarre speed before just as suddenly catching the bottom of the shaft in his sharp teeth with practiced ease. Once more, the weapon's thirst was made known as everyone around it could feel their own blood being pulled to the crimson blade. Twisting his body like a released rubber band, the man grinned eagerly as his frame snapped and let loose the spinning scythe into the air. The weapon rotated rapidly as it flew across the water like a boomerang… spilling the red liquid that it contained across the water's edge in the process in large quantities. It circled around the area where the Sanbi was to be released in a perfect flight path before it once more headed towards its wielder, seemingly not having slowed down in the slightest since it was unleashed. It mattered little to the wielder, who merely grinned and caught the weapon in his mouth by the shaft, cracking his neck back in the process and completing the massive bloody circle that was now in the lake… the massive bloody circle that was already forming seal characters and patterns in not 2, but 3 dimensions thanks to the water that the blood was spreading through…

Mei's eyes narrowed. "That... is a large amount of blood…"

"Now…" The old man muttered as he and Haku stepped forward, already focusing their power in order to perform the next step. Soon enough, dozens if not hundreds of crystal ice mirrors and hexagonal barriers were rising from the water at all points. "Keep it coming at a steady pace, girl… we're in no rush just yet. Crypt and I gave you that chakra storing crystal just for this. Remember, you only have to restrict its physical movements, I'm the one ensuring that it doesn't get out of the sealing area. Use my technique as a foundation for yours…" He didn't tell the girl that he could keep the beast inside by himself with his barriers… hell, he could keep it in place just by making eye contact with the thing if he wanted to… but he allowed her to work with him on this so that she could experience firsthand the power of a bijū and gain some experience. Plus, it would downplay his abilities somewhat in front of the Mizukage. Haku most likely knew this as well, but she did not say anything regardless.

"Yes, Waltz-dono…" The girl nodded calmly as she focused, knowing that without her previous training, she probably would have already passed out by now.

"… Do it…" Mei commanded through her radio, her face calm and emotionless but on the inside already impressed by the old man's and girl's technique and cooperation.

In an instant, the 2 ANBU holding the scroll activated it, starting a 10 second release process which gave the men just enough time to run their asses off and get out of the line of fire before the beast was released in a massive cloud of smoke, causing a large wave to spread everywhere.

A second later, the beast let out a loud and irritated roar. It had been sealed for so long, yet the damage that Naruto had inflicted upon it were still there if the black marks and uneven patches all over its body were any indication…

Crypt gasped. "Oh my god… it's Filbert! Where the hell are all my Really Really Big Man comic books that you borrowed, you bastard turtle?"

The Sanbi, of course… just roared and thrashed around some more.

"Are you sure he's going to be able to pull this off?" Haku grunted as she already felt the strain of the Sanbi's chakra on her technique.

"We'll be fine!" The old man spoke above the roaring waves that were gaining in size and power. "He's speaking in complete sentences that make some sense! That's a good sign!"

"… Well, I'm doomed." Zabuza deadpanned in a casual tone.

The ice barriers surrounding the Sanbi all got into position until they were in a massive dome like shape that almost reached to the ceiling of the cave. While many couldn't see it, the dome was actually a sphere that went underneath the lake as well. Waltz raised both his arms and breathed out slowly, enforcing both his and Haku's barrier with his will. "You're up." He chuckled as the beast unleashed a massive water fueled blast onto the barrier, not at all flinching despite the loud and powerful collision it made

The girl nodded shakily as she felt the beast's chakra and intent sweep over her. This was a bijū? This was what the Akatsuki was trying to hunt down? To think that this was one of the weakest of the beasts… and Naruto had inside of him the strongest out of them all…

No… this wasn't the time to be overwhelmed. She didn't have to defeat this monster. She only had to keep it still for at most a minute or two. She could do that. Other than being on top of a glacier, the setup right now was the best she could hope for. Breathing out shakily and calming down, the girl glared at the beast and focused. The air around her became cold. The sight of her became cold. The humid gasses around her condensed so rapidly that it actually began to snow within a radius of several feet around her body. Those looking at her experienced the sensation of the liquid in their bodies slowing down until they froze…

Haku's Presence flared, and with it, her chakra quality skyrocketed, gaining her all the attention of everyone that could afford to.

"Not bad…" Waltz chuckled. "A Presence that manifests as the concept of the sensation known as 'cold'… so much so that it even tricks nature to react as such to a certain degree… very impressive for one your age…"

Zabuza's eyes widened in surprise. He didn't notice the goosebumps his body was producing from reacting to the girl's Presence, but he did shiver at the sight of his daughter and how much she had grown. She did not waver. She did not pause. There was only the strong kunoichi that stood in front of him.

He would never say it, but as a father, he was so proud of the girl that he almost shed a tear… almost.

"Hyōton…" The ice wielder stated in a tone that matched the aura she was emitting, drawing out power from both herself and the crystal on her that gave her a significant boost to her chakra reserves. "Zerou (Ice Style: Absolute Prison)."

With the completion of the last seal, the mirrors and panels that made up the barrier glowed temporarily before they all began to branch out to one another and spread inward. Within seconds, a perfect icy shell had surrounded the rampaging beast and began to expand toward its prey. It did not move fast, for if it did, the ice would not form properly and the prison would become weak, so instead, it settled for closing in at a sadistic and taunting pace upon the bijū…

… Who of course would notice if its range of motion was rapidly becoming smaller and smaller, mindless monstrosity or not. As such, it reacted as one would expect from a creature of its size and power… by thrashing around and blasting out waves of chakra as much as it damned well felt like.

Chunks of ice fell in all directions, but the barrier did not break and the prison continued to close on the beast. The pieces that were dislodged added to the danger as they too grew in size before fusing with the walls at odd angles.

Haku had learned something while training with the Ōgakari and their peculiar way of seeing things. To her, her bloodline was not simply a frozen version of water. Ice was not an offensive element, it was not a defensive element, and to be honest, it wasn't really an element to begin with. 'Ice' was merely a concept. The concept of taking away any warmth and heat, isolating the target until it was left for what it was, without any internal power. Lava becoming stone. Water becoming ice. Liquid compounds becoming crystal. It was a reflection of what she had felt like before encountering Zabuza. Alone, dependent upon another's warmth in order to move or progress. A reflection of herself…

The air in the prison was colder, sapping the strength of the beast…

The prison grew smaller, restricting the movement of the beast…

The water on its shell and limbs froze, restraining the raging of the beast…

Yet still it raged, for it was no simple beast, but a living mass of chakra with a mind of its own, a mind that wanted out as it pulsed its chakra once more to incredible levels, managing to put several cracks into the barrier.

Haku looked around to see what was taking Crypt so long to extract the monster's chakra. The water just outside the barrier was certainly was doing something as it glowed a malevolent and powerful red as rich as the blood it was made of, but so far it had done nothing. "How much longer?" She hissed, feeling the drain as her technique fought to capture the beast inside completely.

"Filbert's being a little girl…" The insane man pouted, clearly not at all intimidated or worried about a 20 story tall monster raging very close to his person. "He's making it take longer to kick his ass… comic stealing bastard…"

"Great…" The girl grunted before taking in a deep breath and focusing once more. The creature was moving too much. Her barrier was at the point where it couldn't progress due to focusing most of its chakra into repairing the damage the beast was making, and she was running out of chakra. She had to do something drastic in order to ensure that the ritual went off without a hitch. The best way to do that was to slow down the beast or distract it…

Lucky for her, she already had the perfect set up to distract just about anything…

"What's she doing?" Mei asked confused as she watched Haku walk forward to the barrier, one of her arms slowly encasing itself in ice.

Zabuza's eyes narrowed. "Shit…" He muttered. "Haku! Don't overdo it, you fool! You only have to keep the damned thing still, don't try to beat it!"

The girl didn't heed her master and father figure's words as she calmly continued forward… and walked right into the mirror that was in front of her. Not even a second after she did so, a missile from behind the beast shot out from the barrier and nailed the monster hard on the shell, right at a joint where two of its plates meshed together. The attack exploded into a pillar of ice that not only shot outward, but most likely inward through the narrow slit as well, if the Sanbi's roar of agony was any indication. Writhing and shifting around, enraged, the confused beast turned to attack whatever had the nerve to strike it… only to be blindsided by another missile from directly above into its neck, producing a similar effect…

"When attacking larger, slower, and more powerful enemies as a precision ranged fighter… always first aim for the joints that don't move much…" Zabuza muttered, remembering the lessons he gave the girl. "They're harder to recover from in a fight and restrict them more than most expect…" Another missile shot at the beast's shell joints, this time from the side. It was clearly pissed, yes, but its movements had begun to slow down a fair amount. "Turn it into a battle of attrition. Wear him down while fighting smart. Don't move unless needed…" The beast unleashed another large chakra pulse, causing many ice shards that had embedded into its shell to shatter and fly off in all directions. If the girl had been moving when it was unleashed, the fight would have been over then, but Haku was not stupid. She was pressed for time, but she would not risk her life and rush things. Moments later, 2 missiles this time flew through the air from the rear side of the monster and hit it where the joints of its massive three tails met its body. Its tails soon afterwards managed to break free of their restraints, but there was some ice left and the tails no longer moved as easily as they once did. "Next, aim for where the major limbs meet the body. The shoulders, hips. Slow down their base movement, or at least make it as uncomfortable as you can… and once he stops moving for periods of time… either go for the vitals, or seal off his movement completely."

The Sanbi was noticeably sluggish now. Ice was permeating through several of its joints and making its movements more painful and rough for the beast. It had actually gotten to the point where the monster had actually paused to breathe heavily and look around with its good eye. This was not a smart move, as it enabled Haku to once more gain the upper hand in the fight. Utilizing the prison that she had helped make plus her bloodline, she focused her powers completely on the still liquid water inside the prison. "Hyōton… Sora no Kagami… (Ice style: Mirror of the Sky)…" In what seemed like an instant, all the water in the prison was frozen solid, pinning the Sanbi down since its arms and legs were submerged at the time and not moving…

"She's very talented… I've only heard of a handful of Hyōton bloodline wielders who were capable of such feats…" Mei nodded in approval. "You must be proud of her…"

"… More than you will ever know… and more than I will ever admit to anyone…" The man grunted solemnly.

The praised girl quickly walked out of a mirror on the outside of the barrier again and panted. She was running out of chakra rapidly and the crystal backup was getting close to empty too. Behind her, the turtle was raging and thrashing so much that it was already managing to free its limbs. Haku expected this to happen, but she knew that it would stall it long enough for her to get one last good shot in before most likely passing out from exhaustion. Placing her hands on the mirror she just walked out of, she poured all of her chakra into her frozen prison technique once more, which had slowed down when she decided to take the manual approach in dealing with the beast. With the water in the lake frozen and the beast's actions restricted and focused on regaining its limbs once again, the absolute prison technique came back with a vengeance, rising from the lake surface, coming down from the barrier, freezing together cracks made from the monster's thrashing tails and struggles to free itself. By the time the tailed beast realized what was happening, the prison had gotten to the point where it had managed to pin down one of its tails completely and the other two were well on their way. The Sanbi raged. It thrashed its tails relentlessly. It pulsed out its chakra erratically… but still the ice came like a creeping death. The barrier was too thick now. The ice too well supported with the old man keeping its shape and everything inside…

Soon enough… the Sanbi was once more defeated.

"Fi…nally…" The girl panted before she collapsed where she stood… only to be caught by Mei. "… Mizukage… sama?" She whispered, confused.

"You've done more than enough now." Mei smiled gently. "Come… let's get you back a bit so you can rest and watch the results of your hard work."

Waltz smiled gently as he watched the two walk back to shore. "… You could have started the seal for a while now…" He mused. "Back when she did that double ice missile shot, if I'm not mistaken…"

Crypt chuckled darkly. "Yeah… and miss the show and take the girl's win? Come now. Surely you know that I'm many things, but I'm not a kill stealer."

"That you certainly aren't…" The elder looking man sighed as he watched the blood wielder free one of his arms and reveal a rather pale but strong looking hand from its sleeve. "Hoh? You're actually using an arm for this?"

"Of course." The insane man smirked. "Gotta make sure that things go right, after all. Split soul sealing isn't something that happens every day… there's a reason why they frequently backfire, you know…"

"But of course, making a mistake in sealing on this level is beneath you." Waltz snorted as he watched Crypt make several one hand seals that were not known to anyone on this plane of existence.

The sealer's eyes glowed blood red. "Yes… it is." The Devil's Collection stated before slamming his clawed hand into the earth. In an instant, a line of blood shot between the Sanbi's seal and Zabuza's, with Crypt's hand in the middle.

The ritual had begun… and Zabuza roared in pain.

o. o. o.

Zabuza's back twitched rampantly from the memory of the experience, snapping him out of his memories. He still wasn't used to the absurd levels of chakra in his body yet, even with the shadow clones. Every once in a while, he got the urge to check up on the other half of the Sanbi, no doubt due to both halves trying to reunite with one another.

Personally, he doubted he would ever make several hundred clones in a battle at once; his sword just took up too much room to use like that. The best he could do with huge amounts of clones was use them for training. He still remembered what happened the last time he attempted one of his standard water techniques… it was nothing short of a combined tribute to his skills as an assassin and a miracle that he wasn't caught by the local ANBU after all the damage he did to that area by accident… especially since he almost took himself out in the process as well…

Shaking his head, the man looked around to see that his apprentice had finished absolutely maiming the Seven Swordsmen hopefuls. Half of them looked black and blue all over, and the other half were littered in ice senbon. The training field had huge holes in it, and Haku for the most part looked like she was untouched and perfectly fine, albeit a bit tired. "Your stamina still needs work…" He mused with a hint of amusement in his voice, clearly referring to what the girl had accomplished earlier.

"I've been working on it…" She panted slightly with a small glare of irritation.

"Work more, then." He grunted before looking at the victims of the girl's assault. "Oi. Any of you dead yet? Mei would be pissed if I accidentally killed any of you… this early…" A series of groans answered his question. "Good. Can any of you tell me why she kicked your asses royally just now?"

"She's better than we are…" Groaned the girl wilding the Kiba.

"She's faster…" Chōjurō hissed in pain.

"She inherited your pure evil." Suigetsu stated in a dead tone, trying not to move lest he cause one of the dozens of senbon in his body to brush against a nerve again.

"It's because of her bloodline." Shinji hissed in irritation. "We would have won if it wasn't for that annoying cheap trick of hers…"

Zabuza sensed some thinly veiled hatred in the latter's mention of the girl's bloodline, but he didn't act on it. "All of you, except for Shinji, are right to a degree. She came at you ruthlessly, she came with a cold heart, and she is plainly better than you, but her bloodline has nothing to do with it. She would have simply maimed you in some other way if she didn't have it. Otherwise, she wouldn't have been my apprentice in the first place."

He snorted before glaring down on the kids. "You're all soft and stupid. You never bothered to try and see your own weaknesses, or more importantly, you never bothered to truly master your swords. You all just kept on relying on their abilities to cover up for how much you all sucked that when you came across an opponent that could counter or get around their abilities, you fell apart and became worthless. The only ones that barely deserve a small amount of slack are Specks and Water Boy, since they actually attempted to work together at some points and rely on their base skills, even if they didn't work." The teacher tapped on his sword. "Kubikiri Hōchō's original ability was to repair itself with spilt blood. It had no offensive abilities, but I still became famous and ridiculously strong with it. I didn't have any S-ranked technique to do that for me. I did it by training my ass off in the basics and killing most people with just that. The power my weapon had simply made it convenient that I never had to take it to a blacksmith or worry about it chipping in battle." He began to walk away. "If any of you want to even try to get on my level, practice your basics first and actually learn how to fight with your swords without their abilities. Then after that, do the same with the basic functions of your swords and not a step further until you can do them in your sleep. Strong attacks are for special occasions and don't even need to be used that often, even in big fights. I've killed a ton of strong shinobi, bloodline or not, with just one or two D ranked ninjutsu and keeping my mouth shut. Think about that for a while before you try to come to me for lessons again."

Haku remained quiet for several seconds as her master and father figure walked away. "Please forgive him for his bluntness. He is rather crude, as the rumors say, but he is thinking of what is best for you… in his own way. I hope the next time we meet, things will be more civil…" And with that, the girl chased after the man.

The trainees dwelled on the pair's words for several minutes in silence before Kairi spoke up. "I guess we kinda got too cocky with our weapons…" She hesitated a bit.

"Say that after we get to the hospital…" Chōjurō moaned as he propped himself up with his massive sword. "Kabai's still out from getting slashed and hit across the head. We can't just leave him here…"

"Just leave me here." Suigetsu sighed. "Water melts ice pretty quickly if it's warm enough. Give me some time and I'll be back to normal after a while…"

"What's wrong with you?" Shinji grunted as he carefully poked the gash Haku gave him across his chest.

"I've never really been beaten up that badly by someone my own age before other than the Uchiha…" Suigetsu mused. "It seems like I've been thrown into a new world where people are kicking my ass everywhere…"

Chōjurō smiled lightly. "Yeah, well… I got beaten by that Tenten girl in the tournament too… and we both know that she most likely would have mopped the floor with you as well…"

"Yeah… but Haku was different…" The white haired boy stared at the sky in a daze…

"…Do you think she has a boyfriend?"

o. o. o.

South of Konoha:

"So when do you think something is most likely to go wrong on this mission?" Sakura asked Shikamaru casually as the two ate, ignoring the looks of the other ANBU were occasionally giving them.

"Eh…" The Nara yawned. "Probably when we're about to enact whatever plan we have to set up. Then some troublesome third party will do something annoying to either kill or kidnap Han while we're all distracted with whatever they came up with. The man's a jinchūriki on the run, and he's been loose for a while. There's no way we're the only ones interested in him."

Sakura nodded understandingly. "Yeah… wait, why do you think that they're going to do something when we're just about to move?"

"Easy." The Nara yawned. "He's managed to hide this long without any hunter squads getting him or the guys he's hanging out with. Obviously, someone on the inside is helping him out."

The ANBU listening into the conversation all froze as the boy's words hit home. Very slowly, they began to glance at one another quickly before resuming their meals as if nothing had ever happened.

"Shika… if that's the case… didn't you just paint a target on our heads for any supposed spies that might be here?" Sakura asked nervously, looking around almost frightened.

"Eh. If they do gun for us, that just means that I was right." The Nara shrugged. "Accident or not, it'll support my theory if either one of us is offed mysteriously or conveniently before, during, or after the mission."

"I wish you didn't include me in this…" The girl deadpanned.

"The more the merrier." The smarter of the two yawned before continuing to eat his meal.

Off to another side of the group, Kurotsuchi snorted. ' _Clever brats, I'll give them that much. They did just put a target on their foreheads, but at the same time, if they do get killed at any point, everyone else will know that they were right, especially since neither one of the two are gonna be in a position to do any actual fighting when the shit hits the fan. They're pretty much screaming that they're live bait right now and calling the Merchant's bluff…'_ She shook her head. ' _Too bad there are ways around such simple strategies…'_

"Oi kids." Grunted one of the bigger ANBU there from Iwa. "Stop talking about your damned conspiracy theories that don't exist. Leave the thinking to the adults and stick to what you were dragged here to do."

"… I was brought here to think and to come up with strategies that would ensure that the least number of people here die…" Shikamaru shook his head and sighed. "Weren't you listening when we were introduced?"

Several of the ANBU there snickered at the expense of the Iwa man, who slumped down, grumbling irritably to himself.

"Brat. Just keep your mouth shut unless talked to." Another ANBU spoke up, this time one from Konoha. "You have to respect your senpai, and your talking is just putting us more on edge and threatening the mission."

The Nara laughed sheepishly. "Yeah… I guess you're right. Sorry about that."

"Hold on a moment…" An ANBU from Iwa with a snake mask spoke up. "This kid is interesting me. I noticed you didn't say anything about where the leak would come from exactly. Are you insinuating that there could be some of your own comrades that could be traitors?"

Shikamaru blinked before settling down in his seat. "We're shinobi, aren't we? We are supposed to trust our comrades, but in our job description, absolute trust is likely to get you killed if you give it away so casually. If everyone trusted everyone, we wouldn't have missing-nin and traitors and wars, now would we? Plus, the prize for this hunt is a jinchūriki. It would be just too tempting for some groups to not sneak their hand into this. No place is perfect, and that includes Konoha…"

The shinobi from ROOT very quickly glanced at one another warily. It appeared as if their task may be more difficult than anticipated.

The snake masked man laughed heartily. "Haha. Ah… I like this kid. He doesn't brush off anything that might have a chance of happening simply because it might be dishonorable or might come from his own home. I'd never think that there'd be a brat from Konoha of all places that could think like that so naturally." He tilted his head to the side. "He has a good look in his eyes. They don't fall for much. He's probably suspecting me of being a possible leak right now."

Shikamaru looked at the man with a bored expression before shrugging. "You got me. I guess my idea wasn't a good as I thought it would be if I was seen through that easily."

"Word of advice, next time you try something like this, try not to be so obvious." The man chuckled. "I mean really, right in the middle of a meal where everyone can listen to you? Have some more tact."

"Snake, that's enough." The Iwa leader stepped forward with his mask on, a hawk from the look of it. "You're just making things worse here. If you want to teach the kids of Konoha something, I can request for Tsuchikage-sama to have Rōshi-sama take you next time he goes."

"My bad." The snake ANBU waved his hand lazily. "Just giving the kid props. It takes balls to try and screw with the heads of over 20 ANBU, you know. Probably would have done it to everyone if the rest of us weren't on guard duty…"

"I bet it does…" The leader grumbled irritably before turning to the youngest members of the group. Apparently, this was not the first time 'Snake' had acted in such an irresponsible manner. "As for you two, try not to irritate the men any more than you have already. We're under enough stress as it is without you trying to get us to go for our throats."

"Sir." Both chūnin nodded before everyone went back to their own meal.

Several minutes later, Shikamaru and Sakura were standing with Kakashi a fair distance away from the camp. "So was there anyone of interest you wanted to point out during the conversation?" The Nara asked.

"I couldn't be sure, but when the fact that you suspected even Konoha shinobi popped up, I could have sworn that one or two groups in particular were caught unusually off guard." Kakashi mused. He had been stealthily watching everyone from the woods with his eye active so that he could make sure he caught everything. "As for Iwa shinobi… well, I think the Tsuchikage's granddaughter might know more than she lets on… but I don't know if she's a part of the other group or not…"

"What about that Snake ANBU?" Sakura asked curiously.

Shikamaru waved his hand dismissively. "If he really was a part of some conspiracy, he'd do better to keep quiet and blend in with the crowd that was staring at us. At best, he has a 1 in 20 chance of actually being a traitor."

"So we're still going to keep an eye on him then." Sakura stated.

"Of course." Kakashi eye smiled. "As we will for the rest of them. It was a bit risky to make everyone suspect you now, but because of the way you explained things, everyone will suspect everyone now, making it harder for any extra parties in our ranks to make a move against anyone. Now all we have to do is make sure that neither one of you two gets killed by said suspected groups until we get home!"

"You are way too happy sounding for this." Sakura sighed.

"Just consider it an espionage mission. Survive among a hidden enemy while preventing anyone from seeing what you can really do." The scarecrow replied. "Shouldn't be too hard. Think of it as training."

"At least we aren't trying to do this with Kiba, Lee, or Naruto…" Shikamaru sighed before pausing. "On second thought, those three would probably pass with flying colors. They're too stubborn and childish to make the enemy think of them as any kind of threat…"

o. o. o.

At a nearby Port:

"LAND!" Kiba yelled in relief as he collapsed onto the dry earth in relief. "FINALLY!"

Akamaru barked happily as well as he rolled around on the dusty floor.

"What crawled up their butts?" Kin asked Neji curiously.

"Apparently, the Inuzuka prefer to fight on earth." Neji mused. "They tend to get a bit unstable if on a boat for long periods of time, much like their partners."

"Ugh…" Naruto yawned drowsily as he casually walked off the boat. "About time we got here…"

"You were the reason why the trip took so long in the first place!" Ino yelled accusingly at the fellow blonde.

"Meh. Details." The leader of the group brushed off her declaration. "So, it's about midday. You guys wanna go to a hotel and stay for a night, or see how far we can get before stopping in the nearest village or camp?"

"I am fine with either decision." Sai stated, clearly not having any preference.

"I wanna go home." Kiba sighed. "I miss my bed and after this mission and the vacation, I just want to get to my house, mess with my folks, sleep and then brag to everyone what the hell our mission was like."

"Seconded." Ino rose her hand. "Plus, I have to make sure that daddy and Anko-sensei didn't kill all those rare plants I busted my ass to get my hands on."

"Hiashi-sama would most likely be anxious to know about what transpired as well…" Neji mused. "Our mission is not one that can be told in a single sitting…" Hinata nodded in agreement.

"Yes! I must get back too! I have not had much time to focus on my training lately and I must make up for it with Gai-sensei!" Lee shouted eagerly.

Kin shrugged. "Eh. Even if I didn't want to go I'm outvoted here. Let's just get moving already."

Naruto nodded. "Okay. Sure, I was just checking what everyone wanted." He shifted his shoulders and double checked all the scrolls he had on him to make sure he had everything. "Let's get back home, guys. But just in case, keep your guard up and stuff. This mission's really been nuts. It wouldn't be odd to think that something messed up's gonna come across us on our way home."

Neji snorted. "We were going to do that even if you didn't tell us to." The rest of the shinobi near the boy nodded in agreement.

"Right…" The blonde laughed sheepishly before turning to the exit of the port city. "Let's go!" He yelled excitedly before he jumped to the roof of one of the nearby buildings, followed by his teammates.

Several buildings over, a rather dirty looking man frowned as he quickly walked to a nearby park bench and unraveled a scroll with several seals on it. "Namikaze… has arrived…" He muttered as he wrote the message. "With… 2 teams… of genin… heading… your way…" The man had assumed that all the shinobi with Naruto were genin both in rank and in strength. How could they not? 2 teams composed of only brats barely hitting puberty for one mission?

What were the odds that they were actual threats?

o. o. o.

A bit north and west of the port city:

"Hm… I'd say we're about a day too late." Kakashi mused as he looked around the abandoned campsite before sniffing the air. "They may have left in a rush, but they still somehow managed to cover their scent."

"Seems like it." The Iwa captain agreed. "Still, it's a good lead. It means we're getting close."

"Indeed… meaning once we finish gathering all the information here, we'll have to start making ambush plans." The copy ninja sighed. "And here I was thinking I could relax and finish my book tonight."

The fellow leader sweatdropped. "Isn't that the third book you've read since we've all met up?"

Kakashi smiled. "Fourth since the mission began." He stated proudly.

"This is weird…" Shikamaru mused as he looked at a map and then at the tracks the hunted shinobi left behind.

"What's wrong, kid?" An Iwa ANBU snorted. "One of your mystery conspiracy groups off to hunt another bijū?"

"Maybe in a few years, but for now, have a look at this…" He mused as he pointed to the tracks and then to the map again. "We're here, and the tracks are headed this way…"

"There's nothing there other than a road that shinobi use on occasion, and even then, it's not the shortest route to the path." A Konoha ANBU stated. "Either they're completely lost or they're going to encounter something specific that's not on the map…"

Shikamaru frowned as he looked at where the escapees would encounter the trail. "… Look at this area they're heading to. It's heavily forested, dead between any nearby villages, and has plenty of rocky outcropping and cliffs…"

"An ambush." Several of the shinobi near the boy stated at once, realizing what he was describing.

"Yeah. The problem now is, who is it for?" Kakashi frowned, already having a good idea what the answer was… and because he noticed something else about the trail that the ambush was on... "Technically, they shouldn't know that we're this close to them…"

"There are 3 reasonable explanations I can list from the top of my head." Shikamaru mused. "The first is that they were tipped off about us in some way and they're getting ready to fight us off. The second is that they're hunting someone and they're preparing to take him down at that location…"

"And the third?" Another Konoha ANBU asked curiously.

The boy's eyes narrowed considerably. "The third is that they were convinced to move there to do options one or two… but they were unaware that they were being lead into a trap already set up…"

"Ugh, not another one of your annoying 3rd party theories." An Iwa ANBU with a lizard mask moaned. "When will you give up on that already?"

"Quiet." Snapped his commander. "At this point, we might as well consider it. Regardless of what the case may be, we can safely assume that there will be traps all over this area set up by either our targets or someone else. We've determined that we cannot effectively ambush them any longer and will have to take more drastic approaches." He turned to the Nara. "You're the one that pointed all this out. What do you suggest we do?"

The Nara looked at the map carefully and at the geography of the area. The cliffs' positions, the forested areas, how the trail winded through them both… "We have to take things slowly. Send some of our scouts ahead to check the surrounding areas for traps and a few battle oriented squads with them as backup… They'd come in from this direction…" The boy pointed at a right angle approach to the area, from a higher location. "That way you can get in through an area that will be tough for them to defend if they address it and still manage to have plenty of room to escape if you're caught." He looked at the map again. "In the meantime, we'll send the rest of our scouts to these places…" He pointed to areas and trails in the completely opposite direction that the trails led, but still were prime for ambushing.

Several of the ANBU blinked. "Huh?" One of them tilted their head confused. "Why the hell are you sending us out in the completely wrong way?"

"I see…" The Iwa commander chuckled. "He thinks this may be too easy. The tracks we found may just be a distraction made for us to stall for time, making us go nuts over ambush and counter ambush strategies for a place that might be empty." He looked at Shikamaru curiously. "But why those locations in particular? They look like they're pretty much the same as the one we were about to check out. Why not just have our men look at the nearby villages?"

"If they were going to send us on some simple wild goose chase, then they would have just made the prints go to some distant village where they can hide with the locals." The Nara analyzed. "The fact that they lead us to an ambush point must mean that they have the manpower and or the equipment to set one up. If that's the case, it wouldn't be difficult to assume that they have enough to make another one…"

"So you're saying that a few of the targets will most likely be here, setting up traps for us to stall for time, while the others go to another ambush point to start gunning for their real target." A kunoichi mused. "A fake into a trap to stall for time for another trap… it makes sense…"

"You seem so certain that these guys are after someone, kid." A Konoha ANBU grunted. "Any reason for that other than the fact that they're setting up ambush points on trails?"

The Nara looked at the men carefully before shrugging helplessly. "It's all speculative, but in my defense, what these guys could want could be an object as well. According to the mission reports, the escapees have been hiding out in this general area for some time right under everyone's noses. That could either mean that they're either waiting for someone or something to happen, or that they have some sort of supplier of sorts that is keeping them here for some reason."

"Since there are so many missing-nin in this situation that have banded together for whatever reason they have, I'm actually leaning to the latter, since most of them don't tend to get along with others, but even so, to make their stomping grounds so close to another hidden village is rather stupid… so odds are likely that they are after something that is also going to be or is in the area. As for whether or not said target is here or has been dealt with already… I believe they would still be in the waiting phase, because if they weren't, odds are that they would have booked it out of here by now."

The ANBU listening to the boy's smooth and detailed explanation of the enemy's motivations sunk deep into their minds as they went over everything he said step by step. True, what he had assumed was speculative, but… too many things he said matched up perfectly with their current scenario. Coincidences rarely happened in the shinobi world… and there was no such thing as a coincidence when roughly 3 dozen escaped missing-nin and a jinchūriki just happening to get along and managing to hide out in an enemy village's country for almost 6 months…

The boy was right to an extent. There had to have been a 3rd party involved somewhere.

"So we are to scout each of these points thoroughly and determine if they are being occupied and are rigged." An Iwa ANBU spoke up in a more controlled tone, seeing how much more complicated the situation was now. "After discovering the occupancy of the areas and their danger level, we will have to find out if said location is their new base of operations, a camp, or simply a feint manned by a few to save the many."

"Pretty much." Shikamaru yawned. "Each spot is about a couple of hours of fast travelling away from here, so it shouldn't be hard to keep in contact with one another with our radios. If someone goes dead, that pretty much means that at least some of our targets are in that area."

"There are 3 total locations." The Iwa commander mused. "2 teams per location with the rest of us here as a relay. 1 tracking and 1 combat team. I'll get onto sending out orders and picking teams now…" He walked away and activated his radio to tell everyone of his decision.

"Ah… I should probably go as well and do my part… it wouldn't look good if I just stayed behind all the time." Kakashi sighed as he looked at the map lazily. "I'll think I'll check out the original spot where the tracks lead. Regardless of whether or not they are all actually there, there will most likely be traps and some of our targets there, and with my eye, I can get info from them quickly…"

Shikamaru nodded. "Sounds good, but hurry up. Something tells me that we have less time than we might think…"

The Copycat saluted the boy mockingly before disappearing in a shunshin, letting the Nara have time to look at the map again. He knew that the footsteps were a fluke to begin with, but he couldn't tell everyone his real reasoning why. He couldn't just say that the escapees were most likely after Naruto, who was the son of the Fourth Hokage and a jinchūriki to everyone, or that he knew what port the boy was coming in from and that said port and the road it connected to were in the opposite direction from the footsteps were heading to.

Luckily, he had managed to get a couple of groups to scan the right road and the area where his friends were most likely going to get ambushed, but still, Kakashi had to go to the area that logistically was the best place to send a man with his skills. It would also serve to throw off people who suspected him of knowing too much. Making most of the 'right' moves, but messing up at the last moment. No doubt the supposed enemy would assume that this would be a perfect opportunity to kill Kakashi and blame it as an ambush gone wrong should the enemy actually be there…

Unfortunately for them, Kakashi already knew that this would probably happen… and that he was exponentially stronger than he used to be…

The boy sighed. There was still the issue of Naruto's group. Going against roughly 30 missing-nin and a jinchūriki of varying skills and abilities with only 2 teams of shinobi… and a jinchūriki… that were on average slightly above standard chūnin level was no joke, regardless of how talented the kids were. True, they would most likely not fall for the ambush with half of them having sensory type abilities… but even with a good counter ambushing strategy, the odds were heavily against his friends… and expecting them all to come out of this unharmed was most likely not going to happen.

Then again… this was a team lead by Naruto Uzumaki he was talking about. Utterly breaking the system was what the blonde specialized in rather well…

For now though… he should probably focus his attention on the guy hiding in the tree behind him and almost managing to mask his killing intent…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Jiraiya frowned as he stood in Tsunade's office with his arms crossed. "I don't like this." He grunted. "Simply leaving Naruto to his own doings like this without sending him word or direct backup…"

"What else can we do?" Tsunade shot back. "If we send you, then we're pretty much confirming to the entire world that he's his father's son. If we do that, then half the shinobi world will be after his head or his fortune…"

"It's not like it matters…" Jiraiya snorted. "Unless you haven't noticed, the kid is already pretty much on our level, if not almost there. Plus, he's going to be 'out of this dimension...'" He rolled his eyes and made finger quotes. "… As soon as he does his training with the Hachibi jinchūriki to control his bijū in a few months. After that, he's gone for 2 years and when he comes back, odds are likely that he can fight us both to a standstill at least… and be completely mentally scarred as well…"

"True… but I'm more worried about all the politics that are going to come from this." The woman frowned. "There are going to be letters from court asking for information about him, we will have to answer the Daimyō's letters officially, and not to mention all the marriage requests that he's going to be getting…"

Jiraiya snorted. "Ugh. I love being loved by the masses, but that's a level of attention I never want to achieve in life…"

Tsunade smirked. "… And since you're his godfather, I'm going to be forwarding all that annoying mail straight to you…"

The Sannin paled. "You wouldn't…"

"I would, and you know it too." The Hokage inspected her nails casually. "Although from what I've heard from Sensei… the brat already has the marriage thing covered. He wouldn't tell me the specifics, but he did tell me that it was part of another cruel joke that the Ōgakari set up…"

"That clan is a cruel joke… period." The sage sighed, shaking his head. "So how are things going with Kiri and Kumo?"

Tsunade frowned. "Well, they're playing along with us for now, which is better than we expected, but we have a new problem that recently came up…"

"Problem?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "Normally we don't have problems. We have bumps, and we have new 'fun' things to deal with… but so far, nothing has really qualified as a problem…"

"Remember how Madara has the Yin half of the Kyūbi's chakra sealed inside of him?" Tsunade asked warily.

"Don't remind me." The sage moaned. "Lo and behold, our great enemy not only has access to a broken ninjutsu, but he has access to a bijū in him as well…"

"Yeah well, it turns out that we found out why he wasn't making any big moves until a few years from now. Minato's seal that cut him off from the Kyūbi when it attacked that night also disrupted the man's control over his own chakra as well by accident. It's been weakening over time and giving him more access to his powers… and apparently enabling him to perform extremely potent mind altering genjutsu as well…"

"Yin chakra…" Jiraiya's eyes widened. "Of course… shit, that means if we force him into hiding, he could technically control anyone he wants to move in his stead… the only reason why he probably came out of hiding was because he was overconfident…"

"And because he knew we wouldn't get much support from the other countries." Tsunade cut in. "Remember how I told you that the Raikage canceled the summit a few days after his messengers came and that the Tsuchikage and the Mizukage sent messages saying that they wouldn't go either? There's a good chance that it was because Madara got to them. After that, they did a brief skirmish on the village that took out nearly the entire east side of the village and challenged us to a final fight in the middle of the country. We met that challenge… mostly because Naruto was still too hot headed to turn it down, we lost, and you know the rest." She shook her head and lifted up the front of her shirt a bit and channeled some chakra to show an intricate seal on her stomach. "This is what Crypt apparently came up with to counter any mind controlling genjutsu produced by a Sharingan. As with everything made by that man, it's deceptively well-made and insanely potent. The Mizu and Raikage both have a copy of this as well, but they are still skeptical of applying them for obviously good reasons…"

"What the hell is it with this man's seals?" Jiraiya mumbled to himself as he analyzed Tsunade's stomach for non-perverted reasons for once. "They're just so bloody intricate and exact that it's terrifying. Every damned character is synced to the next so tightly and fluently that if something went wrong, there would be no way to get in to correct it… but at the same time, it leaves it virtually impossible to tinker with it without using a metaphorical bijū sized sledgehammer and breaking the thing to bits in order to open it up…"

"Probably comes with being the definition of being insane and being alive for over 2000 years." Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I'm surprised you haven't tried to cop a feel or drool over my body yet, pervert…"

"I see…" The sage mumbled as he wrote down notes, completely ignoring the woman. "I never even knew that you could use arrays in such a manner… to weave them so that they can work independently and conjunctively at multiple cross sections… it's more like a lattice than a web… I didn't even think that connecting strands of separate spiral inducting paths into single functional pulsing outputs that directly connect to major chakra paths in the body for redundancy support was possible, but by making it so that only a fraction of each inductor is poured into an output and then making multiple openings for an equal number of paths in the body, the balance and control is near perfect without worrying about any form of feedback or risking tampering since there are multiple outputs to compensate if one is blocked or altered… and they are never really opened in the first place unless the user is being attacked by a Sharingan based genjutsu… fascinating…"

"Jiraiya." Tsunade spoke up. "Jiraiya. Hey! My boobs are up here! Pay attention, damn it!"

"Huh?" The perverted man blinked before looking up to the source of Tsunade's voice… and literally got a face full of the bottom of her bust.

The room was silent for several seconds.

"… Heheheheh…" Jiraiya's muffled perverted chuckling escaped from the woman's cleavage.

"You have 3 seconds to get yourself into a more appropriate position… or I swear I will break you… and not in the fun, way either… for you at least." The Hokage's eyebrow twitched dangerously.

2.95 seconds later, the porn writer was sitting back in his chair with bits of tissue stuck in his nose to prevent the nosebleed he had. Thankfully, he had managed to hold it back long enough that he didn't stain the woman's clothes.

Let it be known that Jiraiya was at least a considerate and thoughtful pervert that spied on women in the bath houses of the world… yeah.

"So back to the Mizukage and the Raikage…" Tsunade sighed as she leaned back in her chair. "I can see us working fairly well with Kiri in this, since our villages never really had any deep seeded grudges against one another and they've undergone some major reform. Mei Terumi from what I've heard is a respectable and reasonable woman. So long as we are not arrogant and trying to throw our weight around to make her do things that she would object to, we shouldn't have any problems with a secret alliance with her…"

"The problem is the Raikage…" Jiraiya nodded in understanding. "He's strong as hell, I'll give him that… probably the strongest of the current Kage in a straight up fight… no offense, Hime… but he's just too impulsive when he gets agitated… and of course, there's the fact that he has one of the shortest fuses in the 5 nations… and he's one of the most stubborn bastards as well… I honestly think he's harder to get through to than Naruto is."

"I don't blame you." Tsunade snorted. "If Akatsuki didn't by chance show up and show Bee and that assistant of A's how dangerous they were right after the sword master tournament, we probably would still be trying to convince the man to be working with us. That isn't to say that our relationship isn't still strained at best right now. He'll be suspicious of any request or suggestion that we'll make, even the mundane ones…"

"Meaning probably all of them." Jiraiya rolled his eyes. "And in the meantime, he'll probably start asking us for ridiculous pieces of info that really have no importance other than giving him data on how we do things…"

"As if him knowing that Naruto is Minato's kid and a jinchūriki wasn't bad enough…" Tsunade grumbled.

Her teammate's eyes widened. "WHAT?"

The woman glared at him. "You didn't expect the man to not put 2 and 2 together after he was told that 2 of the Akatsuki were chasing after the kid and them claiming he was a jinchūriki, right? A brief description of the kid was all he really needed to know that he was Minato's child… plus, it wasn't like Bee never encountered the man in battle either…"

"Shit…" Jiraiya slumped into his seat. "Old man Ōnoki knows, A knows, we know, Gaara pretty much knows…" He scratched his head frustrated. "Considering how strong he really is right now… is there any point in keeping his lineage a secret anymore?"

"It'll save us the headache of dealing with the hundreds of minor lords and noble figures trying to get their hands on him?" Tsunade suggested before sinking back into her chair. "To be honest, I think there's no point to doing it now anyways. He's going to be gone from the village soon enough. Same for when he just gets back. It would be stupid to overwhelm him with excess things to worry about when the real fighting is just about to start and he's trying to settle in again…"

"Sooo… we're going to do it after he gets back from training." Jiraiya smirked.

"Right after his first or second major mission that requires him to do massive environmental damage." The woman smiled pleasantly.

"… Right after his first or second mission back, then." The sage translated.

"Pretty much." Tsunade shrugged.

"Should I be disgusted that I'm so calm and relaxed about sending my godson into extremely dangerous situations and assume that everything will turn out all right because he'll be at least as strong as a Kage when he gets back from his training?" Jiraiya asked worriedly.

"Only if you think there's an actual chance of him screwing it up so badly that he dies on it." The female counterpart answered as she began going over paperwork again. "And considering the upgrade he got to his healing factor and his dumb luck, I don't think we have much to worry on that."

"Gotta love the healing." The man smirked. "Lets you beat them closer to death than you possibly ever could and do it again the next day and call it training…"

Tsunade paused and looked up at the man. "Training… yeah, I've been meaning to ask you about that. What DID you do with Naruto over the 3 years you were gone? Other than a bigger Rasengan and getting some more experience… he didn't really improve that much."

The toad sage froze before sighing dejectedly and slumping in his seat. "That… was my fault." He admitted. "I hate to say it given my track record, but I suck as a teacher."

"You suck as a teacher." Tsunade paused, looking bewildered at the man. "Jiraiya, the guy who taught the Fourth Hokage, 2 members of Akatsuki, and the kid who's most likely going to save the world… sucks as a teacher. Please elaborate on that."

"You're forgetting those two brats who were Minato's teammates." Jiraiya grunted dejectedly as he rubbed his temple with one hand. "They died really early remember? That was because they had no outstanding talent. They weren't horrible… they were just… average. Minato, Nagato, Konan, Yahiko… geniuses, all of them. I didn't have to try that hard to get them to understand what I was trying to tell them. Never even noticed that I was so assuming and demanding of my students that I was actually incapable of teaching someone who was of average… or less than average intelligence anything remotely complicated…"

"But you managed to teach Naruto the Rasengan." Tsunade pointed out.

"I gave him the steps to learn how to do it." The man pointed out. "Anyone can teach anyone Rasengan if you give them the basic instructions and the theory on how it works. The theory behind it is remarkably simple. It's actually doing it that's the hard part, and even then, Naruto managed because he learns by doing and feeling how chakra moves with his body, not by listening." He scratched the back of his head in frustration. "Every time I tried to teach him an actual ninjutsu other than then and when I taught him summoning, it was near impossible to get anywhere because he just didn't get what the hell I was saying. It didn't help that I didn't think of using his clones to train him or think of going further with his elemental manipulation." He shook his head. "In the end, after the first 6 months or so, I really just got frustrated with him and focused him on conditioning his body, training his taijutsu and tactics… which I might add I had to correct gratuitously from how messed up the biased academy instructors had left him and Kakashi never pointed out… and helping him truly master his clones and Rasengan… and even then, I couldn't get him to do it single handedly…" He paused and rubbed his chest. "Well… there was that and the Kyūbi training… and you know how that turned out."

"Hmm…" Tsunade frowned as she looked skeptically at the man. She disapproved of what she learned of the sage… but at the same time, she couldn't fault him completely at the time…

After all… until after the time jump… Naruto was the definition of a freaking idiot when it came to anything other than methods to trick people and combat techniques. He had a good heart and somehow managed to get on almost everyone's good side eventually… but… he was just so damn stupid…

"Honestly… I'm having trouble taking a side here." Tsunade sighed.

"I don't blame you." The toad sage wearily accepted the woman's declaration. "We are talking about the kid who once won a fight by farting in his opponent's face by accident…"

"At least you managed to correct some of your faults by helping him out with his earth composition training." The woman pointed out.

"Feh." Jiraiya snorted and lazily waved his hand. "He mastered the entire thing in almost a week and his intelligence had improved to the point that I felt as if I was teaching Minato again, not Naruto. It wasn't the same. Sure, the personality was similar, but the kid's hardened up significantly while under Ghost's tutelage and has learned to actually pay attention now… or maybe I should thank Nagato for hardening him up, from what I heard about after I died… or not, considering he pretty much destroyed Konoha to get things through the kid's head. Anyways, after that, it seems like the idiot became more likely to listen to reason and think about the consequences of things…"

"Still didn't stop him from rushing into a battle against Madara headfirst the first chance he got." Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"I said more likely, I didn't say absolutely." The Sage smirked.

"That'll be the day." Tsunade laughed before calming down and shaking her head. "But seriously… we have to figure out a way to control the fallout when people are finally told of his lineage."

"Right." Jiraiya nodded seriously. "First. We aren't going to make an announcement to the entire village. We're only going to tell council members and people of high court. That way, the information can spread at a more gradual pace and hence we won't have to deal with everyone's reactions at once."

"One step ahead of you." Tsunade muttered. "I've determined that only the civilian members of the council can spread the news. If we let the shinobi side do it, the rate of spread of the information will be too fast. This way, we can slow things down by about a week or so before everyone in the village knows…"

"Approach 7F on tactical village information releasing… of course." The sage mused in an awed manner. "It's brilliant. When word reaches a certain percentage of the village, then we can allow the shinobi side of the council to start talking about it as well to balance things out and enforce the statement, since they hold more sway on the rumor mill. Now, as for controlling the politicking regarding the boy…"

The two continued their planning for hours on end before getting tired of the entire thing since they figured at some point that either Naruto himself or the Ōgakari would do something to screw it all up. They got so frustrated upon realizing said fact that they went out to vent, got drunk, and had sex until Jiraiya tried to do something beyond what Tsunade was willing to let him do and punted him across the village with nothing but a bedsheet around his waist.

He woke up the next morning not remembering a damned thing.

True story.

o. o. o.

With the ANBU:

Kakashi returned from his scouting of the area he was assigned to with little to no trouble. Like Shikamaru had guessed, the destined location was a ruse. There were at best a few half assed traps there that, while dangerous, were not of the quality that could trap or fool an ANBU very well. Unfortunately for them, anyone who could have been there left too long before they arrived to do anything about it. After they realized that, the ANBU reported back briefly and cleared the area of any traps to prevent any careless and unfortunate passing by shinobi from getting caught in them by mistake. Kakashi couldn't tell a person how many times someone he's known had died because they got caught in a trap that had been left behind and untriggered from some anonymous battle or war through the years. Heck, he himself had almost been the victim of a few on occasion.

He didn't have to worry about getting any friendly fire here. Even if all of the rest of the shinobi here were against him, they lacked a believable scapegoat to fall back on so that they could continue on to Han uninterrupted… plus, he was fairly certain he was good enough to take out all 7 of them if push came to shove.

What was worrisome was that on their way back from the site, they had been told that somehow, one of the escaped shinobi had slipped past their guard soon after everyone had left and had gone straight for Shikamaru. The resulting fight had been quick but violent, as much of the equipment at the camp, not that there had been much seeing as this had been an ANBU mission, had been torn to shreds before the Nara boy had caught his opponent with his family's technique by himself before reinforcements had arrived.

"Took you long enough." Shikamaru yawned as Kakashi's group arrived, the last of the 3 teams of 8 that had been sent out to investigate the locations. The boy lazily nudged/kicked the tied up prisoner sitting on the ground next to him, causing the man to grunt.

"We found what we believe to be the main camp." Stated the Iwa commander as he appeared next to Kakashi. "It was at area B, the first of the other spots Nara pointed out. Unfortunately, there was so much random activity and active shinobi that it was unreasonable to keep our teams there and warn the targets prematurely. Plus, we couldn't confirm if Han was there either. We needed everyone for this in order to make sure nothing went wrong…"

"I see…" Kakashi nodded. "Makes sense. Wouldn't want them all to scatter just when we found them all conveniently in the same place…" He turned to look at Shikamaru, ignoring all the other ANBU appearing nearby, all prepared for a massive fight in the very near future. "For now though, we have some other pressing matters to address."

The loud Iwa ANBU that had expressed his liking for the boy whistled amused as he looked at the damage of the fight. "Heh. Not bad, kid. All this debris and stuff all over the place and you barely have a scratch on you. Granted, it would have been better if our stuff came out the same, but hey, no one's perfect…"

Kakashi looked around casually, noting the several sizeable holes in the ground where no doubt some explosive tags went off and the dozen odd kunai and shuriken were embedded randomly. "I see you had some fun while I was gone…"

The Nara shrugged. "It's safer than training with the Ōgakari or Naruto." He stated.

"You must be disappointed then." The captain eye smiled.

"Don't get my hopes for a simple mission up." The boy deadpanned before nodding his head to the captive, a dirty looking man with scratches over his hands and face. "Just use your eye and find out where the hell the others are. He seems to be immune to most poisons and has a surprisingly high tolerance for pain."

Kakashi took note of the bruises all over the prisoner's dirty and slightly malnourished body and the several clearly broken digits and limbs he had. Nothing life threatening or disabling his ability to speak… yet. "Hm… classic ways didn't work, huh? I guess they must have done some pretty rough things to him in prison…" He reached for his headband.

"And then some." Chuckled a Konoha ANBU as he nodded to Sakura who was looking away defiantly. "This is the 4th time we brought him to that state. Every time we got this far, the girl would heal him up so we could do it again. Hell, she even broke a few fingers too… didn't work, but it kept us occupied and gave the girl something to do…"

"I'll show you something to do…" The pinkette grumbled irritably as one of her gloved hands flexed testily.

"Huh." The dirty looking man snorted in disgust, glaring at Kakashi. "What makes you think that you can break me after the others couldn't?" He spat at the cyclops, showing that several of his teeth had been knocked out recently.

The jōnin managed to block the spit from hitting his face with one hand before he revealed his Sharingan with the other. "Oh, I have ways…" He mumbled casually before putting the surprised man under a rather strong genjutsu that he had managed to master about a month ago. He had perfected and used weaker variants with the eye before, yes, but he had a feeling he wanted to be certain about the efficiency and speed of the information he got this time.

"Fast…" Chuckled the Iwa commander as he saw the prisoner turn into a vegetable. "Strong too. No wonder your reputation's so big."

"You've been identified as Kōba the Skinner. A war criminal of Iwa. One of the confirmed shinobi who escaped from Iwa's prison 6 months ago. We know that you were travelling with the other convicts, including the jinchūriki of the Gobi. Where are they?" Kakashi asked, getting to the point. Given how much time he had available, he would be willing to ask things such as why he attacked Shikamaru later.

There was at most a second of hesitation in the man before the illusion forced him to respond truthfully. "Setting up a trap… for the Namikaze… east of here… on the main port city's road…" He spoke out in short drones. "Going… to kill… the little demon spawn…"

"Namikaze?" Sakura asked curiously. "Wasn't that the Fourth Hokage's name? He had a kid?"

"At the youngest, he'd have to be around our age if he actually existed." Shikamaru mused with his eyes crossed. "… But I never heard of anyone called Namikaze in our ranks other than the Fourth."

There were mutterings rampant through the ANBU, unsettled and confused by what the man said. "The Fourth Hokage was my Sensei." Kakashi frowned in a calm tone. "He didn't have a child. I would have known if he did."

It was a statement that Kakashi had said on multiple occasions since the Kyūbi attack, and each time, he did not once give a sign that he was lying. It helped that he interpreted the statement differently than others. Minato after all didn't have Naruto… Kushina did. Having a man give birth to a baby was just creepy.

The hypnotized man gave a dry and disturbed weak chuckle. "Heheh… doesn't matter… anyway. The boy is going… to die soon… no matter whose bastard… he is."

The captain's glare sharpened. "Who is it you are targeting and why is it too late?"

The captive put on a faint smile. "All we know… is that he's Namikaze's… that the boy looks like him… and that he's coming up the port town's road… with a couple of genin teams as we speak…" His laugh came out again. "They don't stand a chance… not with the demon waiting with us to kill him… and I wanted to take a turn skinning the brat too…"

"So Han's at the ambush site too…" The Iwa commander muttered gravely. "Looks like we have our location and targets then. We have to go over our strategies now before it's too late and the targets escape…"

"And 2 of our genin teams die…" Sakura added in as if what she said was obvious.

"That depends on how fast we work and how lucky they are, girl." The Iwa commander stated emotionlessly. "The shinobi world loses genin all the time. The matter of a rogue jinchūriki and over 30 missing-nin of chūnin rank and above is far more important… if your comrades die in the process… then it is unfortunate, but the best you can do is help us so that we catch all the guys who did them in…"

"What?" Sakura growled in rage before glaring at the man. "Why you…"

"Calm down." Shikamaru frowned and putting a hand on the girl's shoulder. "We still have some time." He turned to the captive. "What can you tell us about the genin teams that you're ambushing? Any Konoha clan members in there? Any other notable shinobi?"

The man blinked before his expression dulled. "I heard… there were a couple… of Hyūga… and maybe… an Inuzuka as well…"

Shikamaru smirked before taking his arm off of Sakura's shoulder. "I should have known… it's Naruto's group." He turned to Kakashi. "I'm fairly certain that we can spare about half an hour before we need to leave and set things up. If my guess is right, instead of preparing for an organized or remotely organized battalion of targets, we should be set up for an ambush on roughly that sized group of confused and mentally exhausted ninja, possibly crying."

"The hell?" Blinked one of the Iwa ANBU. "What makes you think that, brat? These are genin teams that are getting ambushed by experienced killers. There's no way that they would be causing that much trouble…"

Kakashi laughed as he turned to the ANBU. "These genin are special. In terms of rank, 2 of them are actually chūnin, but in terms of battle power, it would be more accurate to consider most of them chūnin at least, with the remainders at special jōnin… and one very unpredictable elite jōnin."

"The Feral Gale's team…" A Konoha ANBU mumbled. "I heard that the mission he was leading had gotten pretty bizarre at times, so there's a chance they didn't drop their guard when returning… and all the shinobi under his command are rather talented…" He turned to Kakashi. "I myself wouldn't put them on as high a pedestal as Kakashi-sempai just did, from what I've seen… however, I wouldn't call them easy pickings either."

"We're still pressed for time, though." Sakura argued. "Even if they're all strong and catch onto the ambush early, they aren't prepared for a fight of this magnitude. At best, Naruto can stall the enemy long enough for us to get there…"

"And if Han appears and decides to use his bijū's chakra?" Shikamaru frowned, leaving the question up in the air for all to think about, the shinobi from Konoha suddenly becoming far more on edge than the shinobi from Iwa now. "Several shinobi under Naruto's command are clan heirs and heiresses. It would cause a huge, troublesome problem if they died, but we can't rush in without a plan. Naruto's group has 4 sensors including himself there, and the idiot himself has been training under the best assassination specialist to ever annoy us to death. He'll make sure that they'll live, even if he doesn't know that we're coming…" He closed his eyes and focused, calling up the multiple scenarios he had thought up of when the mission began, knowing that this situation might happen. "Basically, there are 3 possible things we can come across when we get to our destination. Either we get there before, during or after the ambush. Luckily, since it's Naruto we're talking about, we'll know right off the bat if there's fighting nearby…"

"Why's that?" Asked a curious Iwa ANBU.

Sakura laughed nervously and her sensei looked away sheepishly. "Naruto… has a tendency to make loud noises, either with jutsu or in some other way… trust me on this one…"

Shikamaru got up. "We'll head for an area around half a mile to a mile before the ambush point. We'll split up into groups from there."

"To protect the kids, right?" Another solder snorted.

The Nara shook his head. "No… knowing Naruto… that spot is where most of the real fighting is going to take place… if not the bodies of the idiots who tried to get the drop on him…"

o. o. o.

At Ground Zero:

"… So after I literally just recovered from frostbite and hypothermia, the bastard goes 'Oh yeah, I forgot, this is what you're supposed to do', tells me what he should have told me to do in the first place, then throws me in the damn freezer again for another 12 hours. I was alternating between freezing my junk off and giving myself rub burn from the air I was experimenting with for nearly 8 hours before I finally got the hang of it." The blonde grunted as he told his teammates how he learned how to keep warm in freezing weather. "At least I got even with the bastards. I doubt they even noticed that I pissed inside a few of their ice cream containers once I was sure that my dick wouldn't fall off from the cold…"

"That… was disturbing, genius, sick, wrong, and downright blasphemous all at the same time." Kiba blinked. "And I thought I had it bad with my training with sis…"

"Remind me never to let you near my freezer when we get back home." Ino shivered.

"Only if you do the same for me." Neji shut his eyes tight, no doubt trying to banish the mental image from his mind.

"I still don't understand why you needed to do such a crass…" Sai started before frowning and stopping on a tree branch. His motion was mimicked almost perfectly by everyone else in the group as they looked ahead.

"The hell?" Kin blinked as she looked around her. "How many?"

"Too many." Naruto grunted, channeling chakra to his eyes and nose to enhance his senses to the max. "There are at the least 4 teams here…" Akamaru barked in agreement before slowly receding into Kiba's hood, apparently to hide judging from the shivering he was doing.

"Hahahah…" Chuckled a deep and threatening voice from below, causing the Konoha shinobi to look down to see 4 rather violent and hungry looking shinobi wearing crossed out Iwa head protectors slowly rising from the ground. "Well, well… I certainly didn't expect you kids to detect us so quickly…" The speaker laughed, a rather big and bulky man who clearly hadn't shaved in a while. "… Of course… with a couple of Hyūga in your team, I can see why you all stopped a fair way before our traps. You're pretty lucky… Namikaze…"

Naruto blinked several times before raising a finger dumbly. "Uh… I think you got the wrong guy. My last name's Uzumaki… not Namikaze."

"You got to be kidding me." Kiba moaned, his hood no longer shivering and lying against his head for some odd reason, as if the puppy had disappeared. "Again? Not only are we in trouble once again because of you… but they've even mistaken you for the wrong person? What the fuck?"

The leading shinobi's eyebrow twitched. "You may hide yourself behind a name, Namikaze… but we know the truth." He calmed down and unleashed a healthy amount of killing intent. "I've seen your father before. You indeed look too much like him to be a mere coincidence. Plus, I happen to have gotten word from some reliable sources as to your true lineage…" He smirked. "Like the fact that your mother is Kushina Uzumaki as well, which is where you got your last name from…"

Naruto blinked obliviously again. "… I'm an orphan, dude. I have no idea who my parents are. Even if that's my mom's name… how the hell does that prove that I'm related to this Namikaze guy?"

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata spoke up. "Namikaze is the name of the Fourth Hokage."

"Eh?" The boy yelled. "The hell? Me? The son of the Fourth?" He looked to the Iwa shinobi before trying to hold back his laughter. "Hah! Man that's rich! If that was true, then there's no way I would have had the 2 ryō life I've had! Boy, are you guys off or what!"

"You can stop your pretending, boy…" Grumbled out a significantly older and colder missing-nin interrupted from the side as he appeared from a tree. "I can tell you're stalling. You know of your heritage already. Just shut up and die quietly so we can end the Namikaze bloodline once and for all…"

The blonde's childish demeanor calmed down before it became tired and significantly more mature, ignoring the fact that more shinobi were surrounding his team as they all made a defensive circle. "You have got to be kidding me. I finally get ambushed by a group after my head… and it's because of the stupid fact that I look like the guy who died the day I was born? I'm in the fucking Black Book, and yet you aren't even after the cash?" The blonde took out a copy of the black Bingo Book, which he had gotten shortly before he left Moon Country, and flipped to the page where his bounty and picture were. "See! I'm already a freaking low B-ranked bounty! At least have the decency to say that you're after me because I'm worth something instead of some dead guy who isn't even important anymore. Going after a kid because of some stupid grudge against a guy who's already gone is only going to keep making problems for everyone." He scratched the back of his head tiredly. "Man, it's guys like you that can't let anything go that keep on making problems for everyone and cause wars."

The leading shinobi on the ground growled. "I don't give a damn about wars. The Third War and your old man were the reason why I was put into jail in the first place, brat. I decided to run instead of fight Namikaze 'cause I didn't want to die, and in return, all I got was a jail cell for 14 years." He took out a kunai. "Even if killing you doesn't give me or any of us our time back… at least we'll have something to be proud of before we die!" He increased his killing intent to high levels, no doubt expecting the kids to be frozen in fear of the feeling before throwing the kunai at the blonde boy before making several seals. "Kunai Kage Bunshin!" He grinned as the single weapon became several dozen flying towards Naruto's team…

… Who did nothing, as the tools flew by each and every one of their targets without hitting. "… How long has it been since you practiced throwing kunai?" Naruto asked bewildered, tilting his head to the side absently.

"That's an interesting trick you have, kid…" Laughed another older kunoichi from nearly behind the Konoha group. "Changing the course of the thrown kunai so quickly and seamlessly without any seals… if we weren't going to kill you, I might have been willing to exchange techniques…"

"Quit your chat, Hanya." Grumbled a younger woman next to her. "That willingness to sell village techniques to gain more for yourself is what got you arrested in the first place."

"It's better than killing your comrades for their own secret ones, Mihoro." Hanya shrugged casually.

"Uh… question." Naruto raised his hand. "Do all of you guys really have that big of a grudge against the Fourth that you would take it out on a kid that you only have feeble evidence of being his son?" The looks of murdering eyes he got from all the shinobi around him answered his question. "Should have gue… Urgh!" The boy's eyes widened in shock and pain. His comrades turned to look at him worriedly, only to see a large man appear out of thin air holding a kunai that was jabbed into the boy's side.

"Heh… should have been on higher guard, brat…" The big man chuckled as he twisted the blade. "So much for the Namikaze legacy…"

Poof. The blonde he stabbed disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Shadow clone?" Gasped a few of the shinobi there, clearly not expecting a kid his age to know such an advanced technique.

"Heheheh…" Ino laughed lightly, soon followed by the rest of the remaining kids. "Man… and here I was hoping to stall you guys a bit longer…" One by one each of the Konoha shinobi poofed out of existence until only Hinata was left… who then transformed into a copy of Naruto.

"You were all clones?" Shouted one of the convicts. "How did you know we were here?"

"I didn't." The remaining clone shrugged casually. "But after the mission I've had, you wouldn't blame me for putting up a front scouting distraction guard."

"Then that means that your original self isn't that far behind. He should have only just gotten the memories of us…" A woman grunted.

"Sure, let's go with that." The clone laughed. He didn't tell them that the copy of Akamaru had dispelled itself early under the fake Kiba's hood, giving him even more time than they thought. "If you hurry, you might just catch us before we make it to the closest village or hide our tracks enough…"

That was as far as it got before the man who had assassinated his previous clone killed him too. "He's calling our bluff." He grunted. "There's no way he could have prepared an adequate trap for all of us in such a short amount of time. He was trying to stall us again. We should go. Now."

Many of the shinobi there nodded. They may have lost the element of surprise, but they still had numbers and power on their side. There was no way that the brat's team could trump them…

Han stood quietly to the side as he watched the rest of his supposed allies run off to kill his prey. He supposed he would have been pleased to have the brat dead and then he could kill the rest himself… but the way things were now interested him more. Something told him that his fellow hunters would not be able to catch this prey so easily…

And when they finally did… the only hunter that would be left would be himself…

o. o. o.

With Naruto when the Akamaru clone dispelled:

Naruto stopped dead in his tracks. "… Shit…" He muttered under his breath as he filtered through the memories he had just received.

"Don't tell me that we're going to have to fight for our lives again." Kin moaned.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked worriedly, seeing the extremely focused look on the boy's face. "How bad is it?"

"There's at the very least 20 Iwa shinobi after my head a mile ahead, and it was a very rough guess." Naruto said darkly as he stood up straight, not caring at all about how the following shinobi would react. "They know that my old man is the Fourth, and they want revenge." They had been using his old man's last name so much that they would have figured it out sooner or later anyways.

The rest of the shinobi under his command blinked for several seconds as they digested what the boy had just said. "Uh… What?" Kiba intelligently responded.

"Just shut up all of you and listen to me… there isn't much time." The blonde snapped. "I sensed a few really strong guys in the mix, and all of them looked like they would kill for the hell of it, if not for a ryō. If we go for a standard ambush, most of us will die at least…" He shook his head frustrated. "Man… I can't believe I actually have to resort to that move…" He sighed before narrowing his eyes. "I want you all to stay a fair way behind me down the road so you don't get caught in my technique. I'm going to do a massive collateral damage ninjutsu to take out as many as possible and scatter the rest. The rest of you then keep down and take out as many stragglers as you can while staying under the radar…" He paused as another clone's memories hit him. "Shit. They found out they're clones. Listen, several of them have high level cloaking ninjutsu. Split into 2 groups. Neji on one team. Hinata-chan on the other. Keep your tracking skills on at all times and keep off the ground to avoid their earth techniques."

"Hold on a minute." Neji frowned. "You expect us to just leave you here alone and possibly get ganged up by over 20 Iwa shinobi without backup? We know you're strong Naruto, but even you have your limits…"

Naruto frowned. "Actually, from the rest of my clone's memories, it's closer to 30, but that's not the point. This isn't a debate, Neji. Either you do this or we all die. Besides…" He chuckled bitterly and shook his head.

"Besides what?" Ino asked nervously and confused.

"There are more than a few techniques I haven't really shown anyone here yet other than Hinata-chan… ones that make me a hell of a lot more confident in my skills than you think." Naruto laughed. "Lee… I have to apologize to you." His grin turned feral. "I didn't fight nearly to my complete hardest when we duked it out in the Chūnin Exams preliminary."

The shinobi around him looked at the boy funny before Lee's eyes widened. "Ah! So you can even become even stronger? As expected of you, Naruto-kun! You are always full of surprises! I look forward to fighting you at that youthful level when we get back home!"

"Seriously?" Kiba shook his head in resignation. "What the heck is it with you being so ridiculously overpowered?

"Come on…" Hinata ushered defeated... but knowing better than anyone else in the group what Naruto was capable of. "We have to go now so he can prepare… the technique he's going to use takes some time to perform… correct?"

The jinchūriki nodded. "Yeah, but I have it down pretty well now. I can keep a few going for almost a minute at my strongest without worrying about draining myself dry. That will be all I really need to get what I wanted done in the first place anyways… should be able to take out at least half of them with it if I catch them off guard…" He looked up at the sky. It was close to evening at this point, and within another hour or so, it would be completely dark. "After that, I'll just do what I do best and confuse the hell out of the rest of them… the low visibility will help us out in this…" He sighed and turned away from the group, making a clone that went towards the direction of the oncoming enemies. "Hurry up and get out of the way. They're almost here, and I don't want to be responsible for killing you guys accidentally."

The shinobi there shivered at the eerily calm tone their normally energetic and hyperactive leader had. Quietly they all nodded to one another before turning to distance themselves from him. "You better come out of this alive so we can kill you for putting us in this mess..." Ino muttered as she left.

"I love you guys too." Naruto laughed.

"If we see that you need help… orders be damned, we will come in and fight with you." Kiba growled as he left as well.

"I'm not you, mutt. I'll be fine…" The blonde smirked as he jumped to a particularly large tree's branch and hid behind a branch. "Now move it… I'm making the seals and I gotta focus."

The shinobi under his orders took one last look at the blonde as he began a very long list of seals and muttering their names under his breath before leaving. Hinata was the last to go. "Be careful…" She whispered before she left.

Naruto didn't say anything as he continued his sequence, although a small smile did make its way onto his face…

The clone on the other hand didn't say anything as it stopped a hundred yards away from its creator and waited defiantly and casually on a large branch that gave him a fairly good view of everything around him. He knew his task and he would do it to the best of his abilities as he took out a handful of kunai and shuriken… fingering them almost lazily for about a minute… before letting them fly in several general areas.

"Gah!" A pissed off voice shouted. "The little bastard actually managed to hit me!" In the next half a minute, nearly all the shinobi Naruto had seen before had appeared again.

"Well, well…" Laughed one of the older shinobi. "This is a surprise. I thought that you would have had your comrades with you this time. Isn't that what Konoha shinobi tend to do? Or at least that's how I remembered them. Such a shame that the youth of today is so selfish…"

"They left because I told them to." The clone frowned as he took a kunai in each hand. "I'm more than enough to take you all on…" ' _For the next minute at least…'_ "I really don't like killing people. This is your last chance. Leave me and my team now or else I will not be accountable for what happens to you…"

"Well, you have the balls at least, brat." Laughed a woman. "Hey guys! I just had a good idea! How about before we kill him, some of us beautiful ladies rape the fuck out of him and have his kid! Namikaze's bloodline will be the next bastard that plagues the Leaf… maybe even the world! Hahaha!"

"Fuck that bitch." Spat out another woman. "Namikaze's legacy dies tonight. End of story. Just spawning another one to spite the bastard is too much work and can shoot us in the face later on, even if we might be able to make a pretty penny out of the little shit." The woman took out a rusty kunai and licked it. "If the boy touches me, it's only going to be when I gouge out his eyes and peel off his skin…"

"Let me guess." The clone deadpanned as it pointed to the 2 women. "Kept on watch for rape and evidence of instability on the field… and kept on watch for unnecessary torture."

"Among other things…" The second of the other 2 purred. "But are you sure you want to be so calm right now, boy? After what happened to you the last time?"

The clone blinked at the woman for a few seconds… before a curved blade of wind chakra much like the one he used in his fight against the Sanbi shot out from the side of his right arm and stabbed into the air next to him. There was a silent pause before the man who killed his predecessors appeared out of thin air in shock, holding a kunai half a foot away from the clone, before the blade disappeared and the man whose spine was now split in half collapsed and fell to the ground, no longer among the living. "You mean that guy?" He asked curiously and innocently to the stunned prisoners before lazily sweeping his other hand behind him without looking while extending another blade from his wrists almost instantly… decapitating 2 more invisible men behind him. "Or those guys?"

Naruto Uzumaki was truly an unbalanced character. His body was designed for power and endurance and many of his favorite ninjutsu followed along those lines… however, his subconscious mind was truly geared for stealth, surprise… and assassination. This was the main reason why he seemed so out of place in most fights. He could never make up his mind or body on how he should focus his style, always switching back and forth between the two states, not to mention the fact that said states and tactics were rather difficult to combine efficiently other than the standard 'distract and hit them with a big attack' strategy. It was only after the Ōgakari trained him that he truly could balance these two aspects into something truly fearsome… both in the boy's style… and in his mentality…

"The hell?" Blinked one of the prisoners.

"3 down." The clone smirked as its body relaxed again. From the way the wind was moving just above the tree line, it wouldn't be long until the technique the original was performing would finish. "Man… I was worrying over nothing… maybe I should have not told the guys to leave so they could have some fun too…"

"He's been playing weak!" Shouted one of the old men as he whipped out several of his own kunai. "Take him down!"

The clone smirked as seemingly several hundred kunai, shuriken, and some low level ninjutsu were shot in his direction. All it did was make a dragon seal and focus a bit to make them all change course and avoid both him and the tree he was on. "Low level stuff like that won't work on me, guys. Come on… I know you have more tricks than that… whoa!" He shouted in surprise as a rock spire shot up all the way from the ground and impaled the branch he was on and the spot he was standing in just a moment before had he not hopped a bit closer to the tree he was on, and thus was not sent flying with the remnants of the branch.

"Okay… I should probably stop talking now…!" The clone's eyes widened in shock as another shinobi shot out of the spire that almost impaled him with a kunai aimed at his heart. It was only thanks to the quick reflexes honed from avoiding sporadic and random sneak attacks from the Ōgakari that the clone managed to barely dodge the man's sneak attack and counter with his talons, removing the offender's throat, before jumping onto another nearby tree in order to get to a better position without the enemy's element nearby. No sooner than he did that did he have to duck to avoid being decapitated by a large boulder flying at him at impressive speeds, followed by avoiding another… and another… and another…

"Fucking brat… just stay still so we can kill you already!" Shouted one of the several shinobi that had their hands to the ground and were launching the chunks of stone at the boy.

"How about no, dumbass!" The clone roared defiantly as he dodged again back to the tree he was originally on, trying to make as little movement as possible so that it wouldn't waste its limited reserves and keep his enemies in the same general area…

"Bakuton: Bakuseki (Exploding art: Exploding stone)! One woman shouted as she ran towards the base of the pillar and slammed both hands on it… causing it to do as the name stated and explode rapidly from the bottom up.

"The hell?" The blonde shouted in shock as he jumped away from the tree he was on before he got caught up in the blast. "Exploding stuff is actually a bloodline limit? DAMN IT! And here I thought it was just a kinjutsu or something that was just really dangerous and hard to learn!"

"Heheh. Looks like you got an admirer." Laughed a big man a small distance away from the woman who'd blown up the pole.

"He's just a kid." The woman spat. "Of course he would be fascinated by this power…"

"Don't brush off your skill so easily… after all, few with your bloodline are capable of setting off entire structures like you can so quickly…" He snickered. "Still, for a brat, he's not going down as easily as we thought…"

"I'm honored!" The clone sarcastically responded before dodging another salvo of flying stone that tore through the air. No sooner than he landed on a branch then he had to turn and block a massive sword that would have split him in half with his talons, the blades covering the entirety of the side of his arms. The power in the strike was enough to force him to a knee.

"Heheh… Nice reactions, brat…" The massive man chuckled as he kept on the pressure to pin the boy. "You're pretty strong too… and these wind chakra blades of yours are damned impressive… haven't seen any of this quality since the Third War against Suna… maybe not even then…" He smirked as his sword began to glow red with fire chakra and bite into the wind blades. "Too bad I know how to deal with HURGH?"

The clone smirked as the pressure on him let up and a second set of wind blades from each arm embedded themselves in the shocked man's chest. Before it could say any snappy one liner though, the clone once more had to jump and dodge out of the way of some more ninjutsu and projectiles… leaving his defeated opponent's body to get absolutely destroyed in the process. "Hey! What gives? Don't you have any respect for your teammates?" It shouted both surprised and disgusted.

"Teammates? Hah! Brat, we're just together by convenience!" Laughed a woman as she made seals. "The idiot tried to kill you and failed! We tried to take advantage of the possible opening he made from dying and failed! It's as simple as that! Even after we kill you, we probably won't give a damn about what happens to his body and just loot it and leave his dead ass where it is for the crows! Katon! Hosenka (Fire style: Phoenix Sage Fire)!" She shot out almost a dozen small fireballs at the clone in nearly an instant.

If the clone wasn't so irritated by the woman's statement, he would have been impressed that her mastery of the technique was even better than Sasuke's. "Is that so?" The blonde muttered as he turned to where some other opponents were trying to sneak up on him, seemingly ignoring the fireballs… until it flared its Presence enough to create a wall of space that smothered the fire technique in an instant, much to the surprise of those who were paying attention.

He shouldn't have been so surprised. Raiding bodies, even those of comrades, was almost standard procedure when it came to being a missing-nin and during war, and mourning for lost comrades on the battlefield was one of the best ways to get yourself killed really quickly. Resources were more often than not scarce, and the dead had no need for food, water, clothes, jutsu… pretty much anything, really. It was more of necessity than anything else. Zabuza had pounded that fact into his and his friend's heads early on when he started helping out with teaching, and even Haku admitted that while distasteful, it was something that needed to be done…

… However, while bitter and occasionally making some dark jokes on the subject with the rest of the older shinobi… never had any of them actually sounded PROUD of doing the deed. Happy that they got something good from the body on occasion, yes… but never proud.

"The hell?" The woman blinked as she watched her technique die off with literally no previous warning.

"No wonder you are missing-nin. This life suited you perfectly…" The clone spoke coldly, feeling out the area behind her with his Seventh Sense… and found the branch that was cut off from tree by the rock pillar attack moments earlier. Not even needing to make any seals, the blonde used a near instantaneous replacement technique to place him behind her with 2 chakra blades piercing through her shocked body completely.

"Wh-what?" The dying woman gasped in shock as she looked down at the blades sticking out of her stomach.

"And the log doth said, when in need of my presence, do not forget about mine younger sibling the branch, for even though it is neither as sturdy nor as noble as myself, it can serve in my stead should the time arise and if not can hide thee when not linked to mineself. Amen." The clone muttered, any mirth in his voice gone as it stood up calmly and looked around to see that the bulk of the shinobi remaining had closed in on him and were not smiling anymore. "That was just a replacement, you idiots." He said tiredly. The technique really was a draining one. Much like what Sasuke said back in the academy, unless one's control was perfect, the technique took out a sizeable chunk of one's reserves, which is why it was only used sparingly in battle. For a solid clone to do the technique was near impossible since it destabilized their chakra so much, but somehow, Naruto had managed to pull it off. Still, a clone's limit was one. Anymore and it would dispel. "I've seen the instructions for Hiraishin before… there's no way in hell someone my age would be able to pull that technique off. It's complicated as fuck."

Before the clone could say anything else though, a hand had shot out from the ground and grabbed onto its leg, dragging it down until only his head remained. Behind it, another ratty looking shinobi popped up and grinned. "Bout time you came back down to earth, kid." He laughed.

"So you really are his son…" Growled one of the older shinobi as he stood in the trees looking down at the boy.

"If you mean he helped contribute to half my gene pool, yeah." The clone frowned. "But like I said, the idiot died the day I was born. I didn't even know that he was my old man until about a year ago. Until then, I was just some kid to everyone." ' _Who happened to be a jinchūriki…'_

"Sucks to be you, then." Another man landed near the trapped clone and threw a kunai, scratching him enough to 'draw blood' but thankfully not to dispel it. "Your friends aren't coming. Bet they just ditched you the moment they saw that things were going south." He licked another kunai. "Guess that means we have you all to ourselves…" Not a single one of the missing-nin around the boy realized that the night had gone quiet save for the gradually increasing rustling of leaves above them.

"They didn't run away, asshole, they're waiting for my signal." The clone frowned.

"Humph. Sure they are." An old woman snorted from the trees. "Let me guess, you thought you could wear us out by yourselves and then call in your friends to ambush us to even the playing field."

"Close." The boy smiled rather peacefully as the wind increased, as if it was the prequel to something very bad, causing many of the ambushers to finally realize that something was wrong. "They were waiting for the original me to finish wiping half of you out with an S-ranked wide ranged kinjutsu before ambushing the rest." And with that, the clone exploded with all the chakra it had remaining, catching the 4 shinobi near him off guard. The one that had trapped him in the first place was killed on the spot since he was so close, but the other 3 managed to get away with only minor injuries.

"Son of a bitch!" Shouted a woman as she looked around frantically, noticing that the wind was starting to get even more violent now. "We were wasting our time and getting killed by a fucking CLONE?"

"Shut up and move!" An elder escapee yelled frantically as he began to run. Branches were starting to break off from the trees "He's using some kind of massive wind jutsu! We have to get out of here now!"

A little over a hundred meters away from the group, the original Naruto sighed before his eyes opened, revealing him to be in Sage Mode. "It's too late for you… I gave you a chance and you threw it in my face…" It was then that the blonde spiked his Presence to unnatural proportions. His team and the enemy all felt its smothering and overwhelming existence in the air as it bore down on every and anything in the blonde's reach. The sky itself was now his weapon, and he was not going to hesitate in using it. As his raging Presence froze everyone in their spots, 3 massive funnels spun down from the sky around the area where the clone had been stalling and keeping the enemy in place. "Fūton… Fūjin no Naruto… Sanbonhashira (Wind Style: Maelstrom of the Wind God: 3 Pillars)." He stated emptily…

The moment the 3 massive twisters reached land, any and all of the trapped shinobi there could have sworn that the sky had turned against them. The deafening howl of the funnels prevented any of the shinobi there from being able to communicate with one another. Trees were either ripped out of the ground like they were nothing, or torn apart in the debris until only shattered stumps remained, which were then most likely ripped out of the ground as well. Any and all of the unfortunate escapees who were foolish enough to try to escape via running through the trees were subsequently picked up in one of the 3 twisters that seemed to home in on the targets and were shredded apart by the flying debris and raging wind chakra flying around inside. Those that were slightly smarter and decided to take refuge underground… but not far enough underground… were also ripped from safety as the dislodged tree's roots tangled them and plucked them from the earth, meeting the same fate as those who were taken out seconds earlier. There was no jutsu, no wall, no strategy that could help those prisoners overpower such a blatantly overwhelming force of nature. An S-ranked shinobi probably would have been able to do so… but not these shinobi. No… their only hope for survival was to either lay low and pray to be lucky, or go so deep underground that there was no chance that the roots of the torn trees would ensnare them in the plant's attempts at staying earthbound.

And the entire time this attack ensued, the sky and the air remained alive, savage, and hungry…

o. o. o.

Roughly 15 Kilometers away:

"What the hell?" Muttered an ANBU as he stopped at the top of a hill to see 3 massive twisters in the distance, all in a triangular formation tearing at an unfortunate piece of ground… the same area where Shikamaru had them running for in the first place. Despite the fact that there were barely any clouds in the sky, the small area over there was near perfect storm conditions, and the damage from what he could see was just as great.

"What's the…" The Iwa commander began to ask before looking at the show. "… Ah…"

"… This isn't good." Kakashi frowned dangerously. "They've started fighting using high level techniques already…"

"I wasn't aware that one of the prisoners could accomplish something like… THAT." Pointed out one Iwa ANBU.

"They can't…" The commander growled as he turned to Kakashi. "Something you forget to tell us about these kids of yours, Kakashi?"

"Yeah. Naruto's an impulsive idiot." Sakura growled.

"… I didn't know he knew a technique like this… I should have expected him to… but I didn't…" Shikamaru shook his head dejectedly as he looked at the massive attack destroy the area it was set upon.

"It's a last resort technique that I specifically told him not to use outside of the direst of situations… and before you ask, no, I don't know how to do this particular move myself. This is something he came across through some unusual circumstances." Kakashi frowned as the twisters soon began to die off. "Things must have been more dangerous than we first anticipated." He turned to the group. "Sakura, Tenzo, Shikamaru, you three are on emergency frontline medic duty. I'll be on the combat squads. Should Han appear, Tenzo and I will switch." He looked at the other ANBU. "We are heading straight for the battle. No break periods. You stop, you get left behind."

"SIR!" All the ANBU replied before all the shinobi bolted once more to their destination.

"Kakashi…" Shikamaru muttered to the cyclops as they ran. "That Iwa ANBU with the lizard mask… he was in the group that found the campsite, right?"

"Yeah…" The leader grunted.

"He was also part of the team that was sent to scout this area, but returned really quickly, didn't he?" The Nara continued.

"I'll make a note of it…" Kakashi frowned. "For now, let's just hope that we get there in time to prevent something irrevocable from happening."

o. o. o.

Naruto panted as he let up the technique and returned back to normal. He had used up all of his sage chakra for that move, and while the results were acceptable, it still took a fair chunk out of him. Thankfully, the boy didn't have to rely on the Kyūbi's chakra to use this technique in conjunction like he had used to. It wouldn't have helped if the remaining enemy shinobi realized that he was jinchūriki in addition to being his dad's kid. Apparently, using the Seventh Sense plus his Presence as a mold for the funnels of the twisters helped dramatically reduce the chakra cost and focus of the jutsu. It still took a crap ton of chakra to perform, but it was nowhere near life threatening now. The tree he was behind was one of the edge of the destruction, seemingly barely having avoided being destroyed itself. Luckily, he was on a low enough branch of the large and strong looking tree that the debris sucked up from the twisters wouldn't hit him as they returned to the earth. He almost lost control of himself as he realized that among the falling rocks and trees were bits and pieces of the people he had attacked…

"I warned them that if they kept on going after me, they would die…" The blonde sighed as his breathing slowed down and he began to feel his stamina replenish itself. Reaching up to his radio, he turned it on. "Hey guys, I'm done here. Get your jaws off of the floor so you can get the stragglers… just be careful of falling rocks and shinobi parts…" He chuckled lightly to himself as he no doubt knew that they were all gaping at the show they had just been given. "I can feel them starting to come out of the ground now…"

There was a small pause before Kiba's voice hesitantly came up. "Should… Shouldn't we see if they're going to run away first? I mean… you'd have to be insane to want to risk going against THAT again…"

"No…" Naruto argued. "Many of them are going to assume that I'm burnt out now and that the rest of you have either ran away or are easy pickings. Plus… if I use that move again today, I'll be pretty much out of it for almost a week, not that they'll be expecting it anyways." He felt more signatures appear now. "Hurry up. They're moving now and I can't detect any of them underground… I'll let you guys know if I detect anything else odd while I recover… be careful."

"… R-Right…" Hinata's voice agreed through the radio before the connection was silent again.

Naruto didn't like leaving his friends to their own devices in a situation like this. Far from it. He would have preferred to have continued just the way he was right now guns blazing and take them all out… but he knew he couldn't. Not when he was drained like this. There were still too many enemies and unknown factors… plus, his friends would never forgive him for taking all that responsibility for himself and would interpret his actions as his lack of faith in them.

The world didn't run on good intentions. It didn't run on bad intentions, either. It simply ran. Things happened. People died. If he wanted them to get out of this alive, he needed them to be as wound up and on edge as he was, otherwise the world would most likely 'run' over everyone…

Laying back against the tree he was on again, the blonde closed his eyes, began to control his breathing, and transformed into a knot on the bark. The amount of chakra the technique used was miniscule at best after the initial warping, even with the physical altering properties. Now all he had to do was wait and watch and rest…

o. o. o.

Among the devastation…

A hand burst out of the upturned earth, soon followed by another hand, a body and a head that gasped for air. The wrinkled old woman coughed haggardly and sucked in the atmosphere frantically as she attempted to calm her heart down.

"What… the fuck was that?" Coughed a man who had emerged seemingly seconds before the woman.

The hag coughed harshly, ignoring the fact that her spit seemed to burn through the dirt and wood that was strewn in front of her. "I can't believe it…" She rasped. "The brat somehow knows Fūjin no Naruto!"

"Fūjin no what?" Hacked out another younger woman near her, already managing to stand on her two legs.

"It's what made the First Kazekage earn his title in the first place!" The hag hissed. "A wind technique unmatched in sheer destructive power! My mother once told me about it when she came back from fighting in the First War… but to be performed by a child…"

"The little shit must have taken out over half of us with that surprise attack…" The man grunted as he straightened himself out. "It was impressive… but there's no way that he could have performed it without some backlash. If he's lucky, he died pulling it off, and if not, we'll just be adding onto the pain his body would be going through right now…"

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly…" The old bat spat out, this time setting a branch on fire before getting up. "Now all we have to do is find the blow hard… and kick him 'til his bones shatter, dead or not…"

"Sounds like my kind of plan." Grinned another woman as she took out a kunai. "Just so long as I get to keep a finger as a trophy…"

"'Go after the brat! He doesn't have enough time to set anything up!', he says." The male shook his head as he eyed the upturned and shattered trees lying around, kicking a disembodied hand that was missing a couple of fingers away from him. A few dozen yards away, he could see the lifeless corpse of another one of his ex-companions staring blankly at him with her body facing another direction and her remaining arm and leg almost completely twisted off. "If Goshi wasn't already dead, I would have killed him the second he showed himself…"

The eldest of the group looked around warily as she got back up. They were near the western edge of the destroyed landscape, and from what she could tell, most of what was torn from the earth had fallen back. There were more than a few fallen trees that covered the area, but conveniently, where she was standing was rather barren other than some branches and leaves strewn here and there. As her breathing and heart rate went down, her mind became calmer and more calculating. "We head to the south. That's where the brat's comrades are, so most likely that is where he'll be too. Just be careful, they no doubt have had enough time to set up traps…"

"Of course." The man nodded before looking at what the old woman's phlegm did to whatever it touched. He bowed politely in her direction. "And may I say… it is an honor to fight alongside a woman of your reputation… Lady Spitfire…"

"Lady Spitfire? Seriously?" The younger woman faltered as she stared at the older one in awe. "Holy shit! I thought you croaked years ago!"

"And I'm beginning to think you should have done so when that attack hit, brat." The woman glared at the youngest of the group. "Shut your mouth and focus. No doubt we are being watched right now. Remember the group the brat was imitating with that group of clones? There were 2 Hyūga in that batch, meaning his team most likely consists of 2 Hyūga and several other shinobi. Stealth is useless to us right now."

"Hyūga." Moaned the woman. "God, I hate those white eyed freaks. If Konoha shinobi with their hippy attitude wasn't bad enough, those guys had to claim the role of the NOBLES of the hippies."

"I'm sorry my clan's demeanor is so grating on your nerves…" A new voice made itself known, putting all 3 of the Iwa shinobi on guard. "We've been trying to address that lately…" In front of them landed Lee, Neji, and Kin, all ready to fight.

"I am unsure about this fight, Neji…" Lee frowned. "I am against fighting elderly women. It is very unyouthful…"

"Shut up, Lee." Kin grunted. "How many old shinobi do you see walking around these days? The old bat is probably the most dangerous out of all of them…"

"While I resent that old bat remark…" The eldest one there grunted, holding herself up proudly and glared at them with cold eyes. "… The girl is indeed correct. I may be past my prime, but I doubt I would need much to kill you disrespectful children."

"You kids should have kept on hiding." The man smirked. "This woman here was a legend in the Second War."

"Heheh… I'm gonna have more trophies than I thought by the end of the day…" The third woman smirked as she twirled a kunai in each hand. "I wonder if I can implant myself with that pretty little white eye of yours, kid. You wouldn't happen to be a Main house brat, would you?"

Neji smirked as he deepened his stance. "You're late on the news. We joined houses and everyone has a bloodline protection seal on us. Sorry. No Byakugan for you."

The sadistic woman temporarily put on a surprised expression before sighing in defeat. "Ah, just my luck. I guess I'll just have to be sated with your sealed eyes then…"

"Yami the butcher…" Laughed the male as he cracked his knuckles. "You're as chop happy as the rumors say…" He looked at Lee and paused. "… Kid… please don't tell me your Gai Might's son…"

"You know Gai-sensei?" Lee tilted his head confused.

The man sighed. "Oh thank all that is right with the world. I had almost assumed that Konoha let that person reproduce at an early age… but they only let him teach and twist some other poor helpless fool instead." He smirked. "Yeah, I know your teacher. I fought him a couple of times in the Third War. He was a clueless idiot, but he hit hard, that's for sure. A sane man could never forget a person who acted like that even if you tried. You may look like the idiot right down to the clothes, but there's no way that you are at his level or have his talent. Since I know all his moves, no doubt I can take you apart pretty easily."

Lee frowned as he entered his strong fist stance. "While I indeed am not a genius like many of my friends, I assure you I will not be the one who will lose in this fight…"

"Such a cute little boy…" Yami swooned. "I wonder what he looks like when you peel back all that disgusting spandex… and skin… oh I'm going to have so much fun with him…"

"Back off the bowl cut, bitch." Kin growled.

"Why? Do you want to have fun with him too? I'm certain we can share if you suck up to me enough…" The sadistic woman smiled sweetly.

"I've sucked up to so many messed up people in my life already that it would make a politician gag." The ex-Oto shinobi hissed. "You don't freak me out in the slightest, lady. Go cradle rob someone else for a change."

"Ohoh! Little girl has spunk! I'm really going to like this!" Yami laughed happily.

"Don't forget, Namikaze is still hiding somewhere." The old woman, labeled as Lady Spitfire growled. "It would be best to take him down as soon as possible or else he might pull off some other ridiculous technique…"

The shinobi from Konoha all sweatdropped and sighed. "That makes two of us." Neji shook his head. "Even we don't know what the hell he's going to do next…"

The old woman smirked as she began to make seals. "So he is still alive after all… well then, I'm glad we're on the same page on that at least. Too bad we will have to kill one another in order to prevent that… now let's see if your Hyūga eyes are still as good as I remember they were…" She reared back her head. "Yōton! Senkoumori! (Lava Style: Flash Lance)"

Exiting the old woman's mouth were half a dozen molten flaming spears, moving at impossibly fast speeds that surprised the Konoha shinobi. Reacting quickly, Neji stepped forward and spun almost instantly. "Kaiten!" He roared as a dome of protective chakra was made around him. Not an instant later, the lances impacted his defense… but instead of being completely rebuffed or shattering like most attacks would, the spears actually managed to penetrate the dome a small amount, though they were deflected heavily to the side. Neji stopped and looked with his eyes activated, wide with shock and some uncertainty. "She actually… managed to penetrate Kaiten?"

"Eh? Kaiten?" The old woman blinked, clearly more confused about the technique Neji used rather than the fact that it deflected her attack. "I haven't seen that technique in a long time. To perform that move so quickly at such a young age… you certainly are a talented young one. I remember only the strongest of the Main house could think of pulling that off back in my day…" She nodded acceptingly before turning to her comrades. "Go fight your own battles. You two would just be nuisances against this kid and get in my way. He would kill you the moment he got within arm's reach."

"Fine by me." The large man shrugged casually as his skin began to darken. "I had a bone to pick with the spandex kid anyways. 'Sides, it's not like I would get anything out of arguing with the infamous Lady Spitfire anyways…"

"Ah… I guess I'm going to be making a girl scream this time." Yami mused as she lazily looked at Kin. "But then I get to make a boy scream, so it all evens out."

"Lee. Kin. Be careful." Neji grunted as he edged away from the still extremely hot molten spears near him. "These guys are good. Really good…"

"We should be telling you that, Neji." Kin snorted. "The old bat actually got through your Kaiten with the opening move. That's some serious piercing firepower she has there…"

"Her technique is remarkably fast as well…" Lee frowned as he focused on the man who was covered in dark skin now. "And my opponent seems to know everything that Gai-sensei has taught me…"

"Then do the things that other teachers have taught you when the time is right." Neji muttered. "You have the equipment to do it. Just don't do things half way or you'll die, youth be damned."

Lee shifted uncomfortably. "… I'd rather not… but it seems I will have no choice in this…"

"Heads up." Kin frowned as the old woman began making seals again. "Looks like she's called time on our talking…"

"Yōton: Gorogorotama (Lava Release: Scattershot)!" The old woman shot out a wide spray of small lava bullets no larger than a ryō at the group at seemingly faster speeds than she did with the lances. Lee and Kin both jumped off in their own directions followed by their opponents as Neji stayed behind, performing Kaiten again very briefly in order to protect himself and not waste chakra. As he expected, this technique was widespread, but possessed nowhere near the firepower that the previous one did. "Your performance says that you've been using this move for a while, boy… making the barrier so quickly and only holding it up for the minimum amount of time… you must be hailed as quite a prodigy in your clan…" The old woman mused, looking at him with curiosity.

"They do… but that doesn't mean I don't work hard for my progress, either…" Neji frowned as he readied himself. The old woman's techniques were impossibly fast and strong. The closer he got to her, the less time he would have to react to her moves. A half a second difference in this fight would literally be all she would need to win… at the same time, he had the advantage when it came to close ranged combat… and probably stamina as well. But she obviously knew that as well… and judging from the way she was holding herself up, it didn't bother her in the slightest. This either meant that she had more stamina than he assumed, she was good at controlling her emotions, she had a strong enough jutsu to win, she was skilled enough to outmaneuver him… or most likely a combination of those options.

This was definitely going to be a very annoying fight on his part…

o. o. o.

On the other side of the devastation:

"So I guess we're all that's left on this end." Shrugged one of the 2 women there as she brushed off the dirt that clung onto her body from hiding underground for so long.

"I hate Namikaze…" The other woman growled. "If it's not one way they'll try to make you look like a fool, it's another…"

"Speak for yourself." A middle aged man snorted as he looked down on the female disgusted. "I know all about you. You fell for the father at first sight when you came across him in the war and you tried to get him to take you back with him. You even killed your team in an attempt to impress and convince him, but he rejected you all the same, which is why you got sent to the prison in the first place."

"I'll have my revenge on the dead bastard by killing the spawn and the bitch that took him from me…" The woman hissed angrily.

"A foolish desire." The more mature woman snorted as she flexed her hands. "I merely wish to harm Konoha in a significant way."

"I am the same." The middle aged man nodded as he looked around and frowned. "We are being watched." He quickly made some seals and slammed his foot onto the ground. "Doton. Fumō Rikujō Senjō (Earth style: Barren Land Cleaning/Battlefield (It's a pun in Japanese))." He muttered as a massive wave of earth rose and moved away from where he hit the ground in all directions, pushing all the debris from Naruto's attack away from the 3 Iwa escapees until they were surrounded on all sides by 100 meters of barren earth.

Not even a few seconds later, Hinata, Kiba, Ino and Sai landed at around the 50 meter mark, having barely just avoided being overwhelmed by the debris they were hiding in.

"Hmm…" The more mature of the women frowned. "They're really all just kids… they probably don't even really have any real combat experience."

"Who cares? We were gunning to kill another one less than half an hour ago." The more excitable of the two snapped.

"She is right. There were a fair number of talented child fighters in the wars, and not once did we hesitate in killing them…" The man mused calmly before reaching into his clothes and taking out a copy of the Bingo Book.

"What are you doing?" The calm woman asked curiously.

"Namikaze mentioned that he was in the Bingo Book. I am merely looking to see if it is true." The man mused. "If so, we may learn his abilities and how he fights… also, if his danger level is that high, we may have to find whoever set us up on this blasphemous task and kill them next for using us in such a manner…"

"Hey, they're starting to grab some stuff…" The rejected woman pointed out, noting that the Konoha shinobi all had multiple kunai and shuriken in hand.

"Leave it to me…" Sighed the other as the weapons were let lose through the air. The woman took a basic taijutsu stance. "Bakuton: Urashindou (Exploding art: Reverse Shockwave)." She muttered before punching the air and creating a strong but not very visible explosion right in front of her. The technique produced so much force in front of her that all the projectiles nearly instantly changed directions back to their shocked senders, forcing them to scatter.

"A Bakuton wielder who can actually exercise discretion." The man nodded in approval briefly before looking at his book again. "If only I had more of you under my command during the war, we would have certainly come out victorious…" He turned the page. "Ah… so he wasn't bluffing after all. The Feral Gale? Humph. Such a pretentious title…" He continued to read. "Hmm… he has quite a reputation already, and a skill set to match… apparently he knows some Doton and is a sensor as well… though obviously he seems to have reached a level of Fūton mastery that has only been seen once every few generations…" He paused. "Though… it seems to be clearly accredited to some man named Ōgakari who appears to dwarf even the boy in that field… interesting…"

"Shit!" Kiba swore as his group got together again. "Just what we needed, an opponent who can naturally make things explode!"

"She is not the one we have to worry about…" Sai frowned as he looked at the older man. "That man is General Sinō. He was one of the top ranking officials in Iwa's army during the 3rd war. It was said that his mastery of Doton techniques was ranked among the highest Iwa ever had. To have a man of that caliber here is… unsettling…"

"Of course that would be the case." Ino sighed. "You wouldn't happen to know who the other woman is, would you?"

Sai shook his head and donned his usual fake smile. "Not in the slightest."

"We will have to be very careful about this…" Hinata muttered, her eyes already active for any suspicious movements. "Even if he was alone, we would most likely be far outclassed and…" Her body froze. "What in the…?"

"Why did you kill her?" The Bakuton user asked somewhat unnerved as she looked at her fellow female escapee's body, hanging limply from a stone spire.

"She harbored feelings for the Namikaze and betrayed her team. That is reason enough." The man replied as if he was talking about the weather. "Unlike many of these fools who were arrested for doing crimes, I was put away due to politics and those who no longer thought that the war could be won. I am still loyal to my country and its people…" He looked at the woman with curious eyes, ones that held no emotion other than the desire to know. "What by chance were you incarcerated for?"

The woman shakily took a step back before calming down again. "I accidentally lost control over my powers in an important mission and caused some problems for Iwa a few years ago. Bakuton isn't an easy thing to use properly, you know. However, because I was such a promising shinobi, I was merely put in jail for an undetermined amount of time. When the breakout happened, I decided to cut my losses and just get out. I won't return to Iwa… however, I lost a good portion of my family to Konoha in the war, so I thought I might as well join in on this for now…"

"Humph." The general snorted as he pocketed his Bingo Book. "A foolish reason, but a reason none the less. I myself will most likely not return to Iwa either and merely aid it from the shadows…" He glanced at the Konoha shinobi. "However, first we must attend to these children first…" He jumped a bit to the side to dodge a blast of chakra that Hinata had unleashed at him, clearly not as impressed by the technique as others would be. "Hmm… a Hyūga… and an Inuzuka as well. How interesting…"

"You three take down the Bakuton user!" Hinata ordered the team under her command as she pressed her attack, separating the two escapees with a salvo of heaven bullets. "I'll hold off the general for as long as I can! Help me out as soon as you're done!"

The remaining team looked at one another before they all nodded and began to charge at the woman. Sai whipped out his scroll and ink, and quickly drew an entire line of cheetahs. They were virtually the same as his standard and favorite lions, but he found that they traded power for speed and still hit hard enough to make most shinobi wary. The explosion user looked around frowning as the cats got closer before she punched the ground, causing the area around her to explode and taking the ink constructs out…

"You are indeed a noble girl…" Sinō nodded in approval as he backed away from the girl, clearly much faster than she was. "However, you made a mistake assuming that you can hold me off long enough for your team to take out my partner and come to your aid." The man blurred through several seals before slamming his hands on the ground, forcing two massive slabs of stone on either side of the girl to erupt and attempt to crush her. In turn, Hinata spun like a top and performed Kaiten, destroying the slabs as soon as the technique took form. However, as soon as she began to slow down, a spear shot up from the ground right in front of her, aiming to end her, much like the woman.

Unlike the woman though, Hinata was naturally flexible and managed to quickly bend back at a very impressive angle as soon as she saw the spear come with her dōjutsu before jumping away and launching several more Heaven Bullets at the man, who merely raised a stone panel to defend himself with. "Impressive…" He mused. "You are far more talented than I assumed and your range of technique is far more varied than I remember Hyūga normally being…" He flipped through a long line of seals. "However, I doubt you can keep it up for long. Doton: Doryudan (Earth style: Earth dragon bullet)." He muttered, causing a massive dragon made of stone to erupt from next to him and charge at the girl.

"Damn…" Hinata swore as she began to prepare herself to spin again, not liking the sheer size of this particular attack… when she saw something out of the corner of her eye.

"Onisoga (Demon twin fang)!" A familiar excited voice roared out as a massive dark red drill passed her from behind and took on the dragon attack head on, plowing right through it before heading straight towards the spot where the general was hiding behind his stone wall and destroying that area in a large show of power. "HA! How'd you like that?!" Kiba yelled in victory as he and a transformed Akamaru jumped back to Hinata's side, one partially on fire and the other a slightly darker color before both returning turning to normal.

"Kiba!" Hinata gasped. "I told you to help Ino and Sai with their opponent!"

"Those two can take care of themselves." Kiba shot back. "You're up against a hard assed general who looks like he can take us all on. You need the backup." He smirked. "Besides, that chick just blows stuff up. Honestly, you make it sound like we haven't been dealing with Naruto for the past 6 months. They'll be fine. Ino's smart and we all know that Sai's stronger than he looks." He glared at where his attack plowed a fairly large hole into the ground. Instead of a body, all he saw was some rubble and some rocks that looked like they were in the shape of a body. "I figured as much. Earth clone for an earth style general." He turned to Hinata. "So?"

"I'm right here…" The man's voice drew their attention to their right, where they saw him slowly and casually rise from the earth as if he didn't nearly just get killed right then. "I must admit… I didn't expect to see an Inuzuka, let alone one so young perform such a unique technique. It seems Konoha has been busy while I was incarcerated…"

"Heh. If you think that was impressive, you should see what sis does." Kiba smirked. "She's an absolute monster when it comes to that branch of techniques." On the inside though, he was more nervous than he let on. The man seemed to merely be pleasantly surprised by one of his strongest techniques… not put off. That was a bad sign.

"Hmm… I will try to remember that after I kill you two and the Namikaze." The man nodded as if making a mental note to himself before relaxing his stance.

"That won't happen…" Hinata frowned as she took her own and focused on her opponent. His body was unnaturally calm, but his chakra was already on the move, and the amount the man had was unnerving.

"We shall see, child." Sinō sighed, as if humoring the girl. "Though I doubt you will be that lucky…"

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yes, I did just pull a bunch of enemies out of my proverbial asshole. It hurt too.

If writing didn't take long enough before… Disgaea 4… enough said.

Got another obscenely amazing fanart. This time from Scion-the-Hedgehog:

s cion-the-hedgehog .deviantart gal lery/# /d48kkvo

So… ugh, I can't remember what else to talk about right now. It's 12 and I got work and crap. Still waiting for Han to show up in the Manga so I can actually use him some more, until then I'm probably just going to focus on From Fake Dreams for a while.

So that's about it. My brain's fried so I'm going to sleep.

Review! Worship the Log! Expect the next chapter to be epically epic with epic sauce! And Review again!


	71. Ask not for whom the chicken clucks, it clucks for thee…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 71: Ask not for whom the chicken clucks, **it clucks for thee** …

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any of the Naruto Abridged references that will soon show up. I do own all OCs and new Jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Naruto's Mindscape:

"I don't like this…" Minato frowned as he took in the situation from inside his son. "Something isn't right about this…"

"I know what you mean." Kushina mused with her arms crossed. "No one knew Naruto was our son in the previous timeline, but now a bunch of Iwa shinobi know for some reason… do you think Ōnoki sent them?"

Minato shook his head. "I don't know. He could have, but the odds are equally likely that a bunch of Iwa ninja found out somehow and went rogue just to kill Naruto. I'm not exactly popular there, you know…"

"But how did they know where he would be?" Kushina asked.

The ex-Hokage's eyes narrowed. "Probably from those other Iwa shinobi from the movie premiere. They found out that our group was protecting the Land of Moon's Prince and simply staged an ambush on the most likely route back home… but to be able to get so many men to stay here unnoticed in Konoha territory for so long…"

"They probably had help…" Kushina nodded in acknowledgement…

The Kyūbi didn't say anything as he watched the two humans in front of him discuss politics and potential strategies. He didn't care one bit, really. What he personally hoped for was for one of the brat's friends to get hurt or killed and make it easier to lure the boy into using his chakra. Oh, the parents would of course deter the younger blonde at some point, but being able to influence the stupid child even by a miniscule margin was significant progress in his current condition…

A sudden familiar feeling crossed the beasts' senses as he detected a familiar chakra nearby. Having slightly more awareness of the outside than before, the beast was able to tell what was happening far more easily than he did before… and this particular chakra brought up old memories.

"Something amuse you, furball?" Kushina growled at the beast on the other side of the cage, noting that the fox was smirking slightly.

" **Heh… only an insignificant little memory, little human…"** The bijū chuckled lightly as he closed his eyes. **"It is not important in the least…"**

"Why do I have the feeling that's not the case?" Minato asked darkly.

The fox merely grinned in response as it closed its eyes and waited…

o. o. o.

Kin's Fight:

As soon as the ex-Oto kunoichi and her opponent had landed in the general area where they decided to deal with one another, the battle had begun. Kunai flew through the air at dizzying speeds between the two females before the woman themselves attempted to gut one another manually, passing one another in midair and clashing blades before once more throwing small projectiles behind them in attempt to get their opponent off guard, only to have their respective attacks cancel the other out before the two even landed.

"Not bad…" The sadistic looking woman purred as she licked the kunai in her hand. "You actually have some basic moves, girl…"

"Funny. Don't be too impressed with me, hag, or you might start to cry. Lord knows you need all that makeup on your face." Kin snorted as she glared at her opponent. The woman looked to be in her twenties with very short dirt brown hair and thick eyeliner. Her clothes, vest, and appearance were both dark colored, rather ragged, and had tears in random places, meaning she got into a lot of fights, but it also let Kin see what her body type was. From what she could tell, her opponent was of a rather flexible build, but other than that didn't seem to be set to neither strength nor speed. Given from how they just fought, this woman probably had more experience with projectiles and range based attacks, but she still knew her way around a kunai. Odds were likely that she would use a clone technique at some point to distract her, probably an earth clone since she was from Iwa… her best bet right now was to keep things in close combat and try to lure the woman to drop her guard and use her enhanced strength… but if she switched out with a clone in the process… in that case, she should…

These thoughts, though it would be more accurate to describe them as general feelings and quick assumptions, ran through the girl's head in the span of 5 seconds as she quickly picked out a strategy to use against the psychotic looking woman before the elder of the two smirked and began to throw kunai at her again. Jumping to the side quickly, Kin threw a fair amount of senbon of her own in response that covered a wide range, causing several bells to be heard, forcing the woman herself to dodge as it was impossible to block all of them. As a result, all the needles embedded themselves into the ground, stones, and debris that made up their battleground.

"Senbon?" Yami the butcher laughed disbelievingly. "Seriously? You're trying to peg me with those silly little things? Let me guess, they're coated in poison or…" She eyed the needles more carefully. "Bells? Do you honestly think that that old kage senbon technique would work on me? You could have at least used it the right way instead of wasting all of those senbon like that." She shook her head and grinned sadistically. "Honestly, what are they teaching kids in Konoha these days? At least let me show you how a real kunoichi fights before I kill you!" With that said, Yami unleashed a dozen more kunai at Kin, who dodged to the side again and hid behind a stone for a shield.

"I'll show you a kunoichi…" She muttered under her breath before barely holding back a shriek of surprise when she looked to her other side. Right next to her was the body of one of the shinobi that Naruto had killed earlier with his stupidly huge wind technique. The woman's limbs were all halfway twisted off, and her head was attached by only the skin of the neck, seeing as all the bones and muscles inside were obviously shredded and twisted to obscurity. The carcass's face was staring at her with one good eye in surprise and fear while the other one had a small branch sticking out of it. "Damn it… not now…" Kin grunted as she held in her lunch and took in deep breaths. "You can freak out about this later… like when you saw some of Orochimaru's experiments…" Looking away from the body, the girl spied some of the kunai embedded into the ground near her that her opponent had used in their previous skirmish and saw something catch her eye. "That's…" She mumbled under her breath in thought. After a few seconds of quick thinking, the girl quickly got to work on her trap before she wasted too much time.

"Oi little girl! Come on! Don't tell me that I already wore you out!" Yami's upbeat voice taunted from the other side of the stone. "If you don't hurry, I'll just ditch you and help my friend take care of bowl cut…"

"Like the both of you together could actually take Lee down…" The girl muttered under her breath as she finished her trap before getting ready to move again. Taking out another small salvo of senbon from her pouch, silently thanking herself for getting a modified sealed one from the Ōgakari that held almost 20 times what a normal pouch could, Kin jumped out of her hiding spot and once more sprayed her senbon over a wide area to force her opponent to dodge… only to notice that her foe was now gone and thus her attack did nothing but once again embed the needles in the stones and wood and dirt lying around…

"Looking for me, fresh meat?" Whispered a gleeful and sadistic Yami as she shot up from underground with a kunai in hand and pierced Kin in the heart with her cold blade. Landing full straddle over the dying girl, Yami laughed and hugged herself. "Aww… I just get the chills whenever I take out such cute little girls like you. I can't wait to cut off some of that hair of yours to add to my collection… or maybe I should just get some skin or a finger…"

Her dreaming was cut short however as her senses screamed at her to move and she acted as such, almost completely dodging another slew of senbon, but still getting a few jammed into her shins. "Shit!" She swore as she knelt down to the pain of the surprise attack and was instantly on guard again. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw the downed Kin erupt in a cloud of smoke to reveal a shattered log that had obviously been part of the devastation lying around. Her attention was focused on another direction as the real Kin dashed forward with several senbon in each hand, unleashing all of them not at her opponent but to either side to prevent the woman from running away before Kin was close enough to engage her in taijutsu.

"Skin THIS!" Kin roared as she suddenly bolted forward with unprecedented speed and fired a punch at Yami, who had enough sense to try and block the blow. Unfortunately for the woman, instead of getting a moderately strong chakra enhanced punch like she was expecting from a shinobi Kin's age, she was instead plowed with a punch belonging to a girl who had just briefly opened her first gate. As a result, the smaller girl's fist contained enough power that when it connected with the elder woman's crossed arms, it still launched the woman back a fairly far distance before crashing into some debris. Breathing heavily, Kin quickly closed the door on her inner gate so that she didn't do any more damage to her body.

"Come on… stay down…" Kin whispered to herself as she kept an eye on where her opponent crashed, watching the dust settle in that area… before seeing the briefest of flickers of light in the corner of her eye and jumping away as far as she could just before several dozen strings of ninja wire entangled themselves where she stood not even a second beforehand. Looking to where her opponent landed, she saw a cluster of rocks that looked to be in the shape of a human body. "Damn… earth clone…"

"Hooh?" An amused Yami chuckled as she walked out from behind another large upturned stone. "You actually dodged it? Not bad at all, little girl. Most kids your age would have been shredded by that…" The uninjured woman smirked as she raised her hands and twisted them a bit to make the nearly invisible wires coming from them reflect barely off of the sunlight. "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting you to have that much strength in those tiny arms of yours, girl… but it's too late for you now…" Swinging around one of her arms expertly, Yami whipped dozens of strings around, plucking out the kunai she had thrown earlier in the fight from the ground and using them to slash at the younger girl who barely managed to dodge out of the way. "What are you going to do now, brat?!" The elder woman began to laugh insanely. "You can't see where my kunai are going to go since my strings are invisible!" She looked up at the darkening sky. "The sun has almost set too! Once that happens, you will truly be dead! Come! Show me more of that bizarre strength of yours! Show me that supple skin I will cut up move in fleeting desperation!"

Kin clicked her teeth in irritation as she frantically jumped and dodged the accelerating strings and kunai constantly from all directions with unfortunately low frequency as she found herself getting cut by unnoticeable strings and viciously fast kunai. Any time she would attempt to use a boulder or a log as some sort of cover, the makeshift whips would either smash into the defense and destroy it with deceiving power, or wrap around it and attempt to crush the girl on the other side. The only time she managed to earn herself a few seconds of respite is when she attempted to turn her opponent into a pincushion with her senbon, forcing the woman to use her nearly invisible strings to block virtually all the senbon, leaving only a few that were way off to stick themselves into the ground… though if Yami paid any attention, she would have noticed that the number of senbon she hit didn't match the number that fell to the ground afterwards…

"Hahaha!" The deranged woman laughed happily as once again she slashed her weapons at the girl. This time she managed to slash Kin fairly deeply along her sides as she dodged just a fraction of a second too late to completely avoid her attack, forcing the genin to lose her balance as she landed and roll on the ground before barely managing to avoid the kunai guided by the other hand. "Run run run run run! Run for your life or else Yami the Butcher will cut you up!"

 _'That should be more than enough now…'_ Kin grunted as she temporarily put pressure on her wound to slow the bleeding and jumped back just out of the woman's considerable range. ' _Thankfully I won't have to listen to any more of this bitch's ranting one way or another…'_ "You're a disturbed lady." She spat out. "I bet you've never had a good date in your twisted life…"

Yami took this in stride as her strings stopped and she began to walk forward. "Ohoh! You still have the tits to make small talk, kid? You have points when it comes to courage…" Her grin widened as she stopped and raised her hands again, causing the strings of hers to come to life. "But you still needed a long way to go before you could do that in a real fight!"

Kin's eyes widened as the controlled kunai shot at her from a wider range of directions and only barely managed to jump behind the stone she had hid earlier in the fight before running out the other side and throwing more senbon at Yami. Unlike the previous times, however, only some of the living strings from before were used to defend the woman as the rest continued to shoot at the girl and finally ensnared her, snapping her arms and legs open till they were held as far away from her main body as they could go. Her neck was wound so tight that the strings were biting into her skin and the same could be said for her chest and stomach if her clothes weren't in the way.

"Oh… so cute…" Yami purred as she seductively looked at Kin. "You know, kid… I think I might just keep you as a pet… all I would need to do really is spade you and cut off your arms so you wouldn't do something stupid. What do you think?"

The trapped girl grit her teeth before putting on a painful smirk. "Get fucked, you dried up old cunt. You look more fake than Tsunade, and she's almost 50. Even if you hacked me up, odds are the boys would still pick me over you."

Yami's eyebrow twitched. "You little shit… and to think I was going to let you live…" The dark woman hissed… before crossing her arms and tearing Kin apart, spraying blood everywhere.

"Humph." Yami mused, lazily looking at the red stains everywhere. "At least I know that I got her this time…" She turned to look at where the rest of the fighting was taking place. "I really should help the others… but they can last a bit longer." She looked to where one of Kin's arms fell. "I still need my souvenir…" Walking over to the disembodied limb, the woman smirked and bent over to cut off a finger… when she began to hear several bells ring in tandem and her vision instantly began to blur. "What?" She hissed as she grabbed her increasingly agonizing head and attempted to block out the noise to no avail. "Bells? Genjutsu?" She frantically attempted to find the sources of the many chimes… when she realized that she was surrounded by senbon sticking out of the ground with little bells pointing out of the other end. "The brat… was setting me up?" The woman managed to connect the dots on why Kin's thrown attacks seemed so sloppy and threw away so many needles at a time. She was using a failed attempt at the kage senbon technique as a mask for her real setup…

"But how is this…" Yami muttered in pain, noting the progressing deterioration of her stability as she looked down at the hand in front of her again. It was real. The blood was real. The bones were real. The girl should be in pieces. "Damn it…" She growled as her kunai unevenly rose from the ground again. "Stop pissing me off, you stupid brat!" The butcher roared as she spun around and attacked the general area around her, taking out a good number of senbon in the process. In theory, this should have weakened the technique, seeing as the number of mediums had decreased, enough for the woman to regain some of her bearings, but instead, the volume of the ringing bells seemed to only increase, strengthening the genjutsu and causing the woman to panic even more. This in turn caused her to flail her weapons around more wildly and destroy more of the senbon.

Yet the chiming bells continued to grow louder.

Yami's breathing grew heavier, as did her mind. She could barely see at all, let alone clearly, and as such, she had to depend on her hearing of all things in order to find the source of the offending genjutsu, yet not only did that prove to be useless, but the more she struggled to destroy the senbon, the more she suffered and the louder the ringing grew. She had attempted to cancel out the illusion, but the bells constant chiming would simply put her under again and even stronger at that… so she continued to thrash and destroy any and everything around her in an attempt to get lucky and break free so that her skull wouldn't break apart and her stomach wouldn't rupture from the pain…

When several dozen senbon shot from out of nowhere and pierced the woman's body, causing her to freeze in her steps… allowing for nearly twice as many to impale her moments later and floor the butcher. Vital points were missed, but every other remotely important target on the woman's chest, stomach, shoulders, hips and legs were littered with senbon, preventing her from recovering, moving, or even breathing remotely easily.

Only then did the bells begin to lower in volume. They never stopped, ensuring that the downed sadist would be unable to regain any form of mental stability to perform any jutsu or move in the slightest, but it enabled Yami to at least see remotely clearly and form words just as Kin walked into view and ruthlessly stuck more senbon into the downed woman's hand and arm joints. "I… killed you…" She hissed angrily.

"You killed a corpse." Kin smirked as she straightened up. "One of your unfortunate buddies that didn't make it through the twisters…"

Yami hissed irritably. "Replacement… damned Konoha shinobi… I thought you were too good to use other's corpses for such things…"

The girl responded by putting on a sadistic smirk of her own and taking out a few more needles. "Yeah, about that. Before I worked for Konoha… I worked for Orochimaru." Kin savored Yami's widening look of shock and fear before stabbing her in the heart, watching the life leave the woman's eyes… before collapsing back and letting out a breath of relief.

She wouldn't admit it to many, but Kin was fairly certain that she had won that fight by the skin of her teeth. Looking over to where her opponent's kunai and strings lay motionless, she spied not only the senbon with bells on strings that were entangled on the woman's string, but also the small lengths of bells that she had attached to some of the kunai earlier when she was hiding throughout the fight. It was only by pure chance, some luck, and the fact that she used a similar trick that she noticed the kunai thrown had extremely fine wire connected to them and, after quickly determining that they didn't have exploding tags on them, she assumed that the woman would use the strings to move the kunai around in some way. Hence she believed it would make the perfect place to hide a bulk of her own bells as a trap.

She would start off with the bells from her thrown senbon start the genjutsu, fueled and ringing by chakra now that she had the technique for it, and then after that, she would let the woman's constant flailing fuel the rest of the technique, allowing her to get the opening she needed to finish the fight. Her saving grace was that she had actually trained herself to look for small differences in wires and in things that wires could be applied to after her embarrassing defeat to Shikamaru, which was part of the reason why she managed to figure out the general idea behind the woman's technique in the first place and give her time to make an effective counter strategy. She doubted that she would have been able to in time if she didn't…

Looking at where she had originally come from, Kin narrowed her eyes in concern. She was worried about the others in her group but she knew she couldn't do anything about it yet. Neji's opponent was someone that was just beyond her abilities, and Lee would never accept anyone's help in a 1 on 1 taijutsu fight… she'd probably just get in the way, even if she was at her best…

Still, if they needed help, she would be there to give it…

A large explosion nearby simply informed her who needed her help the most at the moment…

o. o. o.

Lee's Fight:

Unlike how Kin and Yami began their fight right off the bat, Lee and his larger opponent landed in the middle of a fairly empty section in the middle of the destruction and looked at one another expectantly.

"I have yet to know what your name is." Lee said calmly as he analyzed his opponent. The man was fairly tall and muscular, definitely a taijutsu type. He was bald with dark eyes, he had a simple stud earring on one ear, and for the most part had a fairly weathered and strong looking face that was common on many shinobi his age, despite the casual way he displayed and carried himself. His getup was also simple, an Iwa chūnin vest without anything else covering his upper body, and standard shinobi pants with sandals on his bottom. All in all, Lee could tell that the odds were certainly not in his favor. "I would appreciate it if you would tell me before we begin our youthful match. My name is Lee Rock."

The elder snorted. "Making demands of your elders… well, I can't say that what you want isn't warranted considering…" He paused and looked at the boy warily. "… I'll do it under 2 conditions… First is that you start off fighting me without any weights, kid. If you are Gai's student, which is obvious at this point, then you have the weights on. Second…" He gave the boy a cold stare and a dark aura covered them both. "You have to promise to actually remember my name, unlike that annoying teacher of yours…"

Lee tilted his head to the side confused. "I have no qualms about the first request… but I do not understand what you mean by the second. Also, if I am allowed a second request as well…" The boy's eyes narrowed. "You do not seem like an unreasonable person. Could you please tell me why you are after my friend's life in addition to your name… should you do that…" The boy began focusing his chakra to his specially made training seals and turning them off…

The large man smirked. "Sure, why not. My second request is because that idiot Gai never seemed to remember my name, even after all the fights we had in the Third War…" A tick mark grew out of his head. "Not… one… time…" He growled as he made a fist and cracking his knuckles just from how tight he made it before calming down. "As for why I'm gunning after your friend… well, after busting out I figured, hey, I'm probably going to be hunted down like a dog and get killed soon… though it's still better than being imprisoned for life for some shit excuse made by an incompetent prick team leader, might as well be part of something people will actually remember you by. Killing the secret kid of Namikaze would do that, don't you think? I have nothing personal against him or Konoha, he's really just a means to an end for me."

Lee frowned as he finished turning off his seals. "That is a very unyouthful way of thinking. I can understand you wanting to escape from prison, but your desires are something I cannot abide." He took the standard Gōken (strong fist) stance and prepared himself. "My restriction seals have been turned off. Please tell me your name so we can begin."

"Heheh… yeah, I figured you'd say something like that." The man chuckled lightly as his skin slowly turned darker. "… The seals are a new touch. I expected you to have massive bars of god knows what on your legs instead." He cracked his neck and took a starting position. "My name's Yaksha of the Iwaken (stone fist)!" He yelled as he launched himself forward with speed that was frightening for his size right at Lee.

However, Lee reacted at an equally unusual level as he too charged at his opponent and attempted to strike under his opponent's guard and somehow did so, despite the fact that it was supposedly a relatively basic attack and thus one that any taijutsu practitioner should have managed to counter in some manner…

Yaksha smirked as he watched Lee's eyes widen in surprise and fear and quickly backed away, only to be pursued by his opponent, who clearly expected this reaction. The two exchanged fast but light blows as they moved. It was clear to any observer that Lee was stuck on the defensive while his opponent had all but abandoned defense to attack, taking any and all light blows the boy dealt as if they were nothing. Likewise, the man's strong and fast, but easily telegraphed attacks were all being dodged by the smaller and nimble boy.

Farther and farther back the man pushed Lee back, disregarding any thought of defending himself at all until his prey had very faintly stumbled, causing him to not retreat as far back as he would and putting him directly in striking range and crouching down, a difficult position to evade or attack from. "Haaa!" Yaksha roared as he brought his fist down on the boy…

"Konoha Shōfū (Leaf Rising Wind)!" Lee blurred his body with surprising speed and like a released spring extended both his legs in opposite directions, one pushing his body up and forward from the ground and the other embedding itself into his shocked opponent's stomach with crushing force, launching the bigger man back a fair distance… and landing square on his feet, as if he wasn't hurt in the slightest.

The big man chuckled lightly and patted his stomach as he relaxed his stance. "I'm surprised. I actually somewhat felt that, kid. That probably would have hurt if I didn't have my jutsu up…"

Lee grit his teeth as he tried to get rid of the numbness that was now in his legs. Hitting his opponent was like striking metal. "I see, you have a technique that can strengthen your defenses such that it is similar to punching stone. No doubt from its name it is a Doton…"

"Last I checked, it was more like tempered steel." The elder corrected, clearly taking things in stride at the moment.

"Why did you not attack when I was surprised?" Lee asked curiously, flexing his fingers. Nothing was broken, but he was fairly certain that if he attacked unprepared like he initially did again, something in his body would certainly give. Given this enhancement and from what he'd seen so far, Lee was fairly certain that the man's taijutsu style focused on mostly offensive techniques and movements and utilized his enhanced skin to perform maneuvers that would otherwise be considered suicidal.

"No clue, to be honest." The man shrugged. "I just feel like making you experience just how badly my style can overwhelm yours and see just how you can try to overcome it. It does seem a bit unfair, since I pretty much know every move you can do." He cracked his neck to the side. "Now then, how about we try starting this again, shall we?"

Lee grit his teeth and took his stance once more. This would not be an easy fight. Since that was the case… it would be best to use one of his secret tricks right off the bat as well. "I see… well then… it would be rude of me not to use one of my abilities as well since you have demonstrated yours to me…" Without blinking or showing any visible signs, Lee opened the first gate… and disappeared.

"Fast…" Yaksha muttered as he quickly turned around to block a strong kick from the boy that had seemingly teleported behind him before pivoting and bringing his arms up to just barely block a devastating haymaker that once again appeared from nowhere. "You opened a gate, kid?" He grunted as he swung a hand in a technical way to block against roughly 4 attacks that appeared in quick succession. He didn't receive any damage thanks to his hard skin and physique, but he could say that the boy could possibly hurt him if the right moves were performed. "You sure that's smart? You know what will happen if you keep this up right?" ' _There's more to this kid than simply taijutsu, speed, and an opened gate… he's extremely hard to follow and find once he exits my line of sight… this isn't simply Gōken he's using… he's incorporating something else… but what?'_

"You are mistaken…" Lee's disembodied voice replied from around the man before he was forced to block an axe kick from above and behind. "Due to some recent events, I am able to hold open my first gate for extended periods of time without any drawbacks, and those of the subsequent gates are reduced in turn… as such…"

Yaksha's eyes widened in surprise as a devastatingly hard blow from behind launched him forward, hunched over. ' _No way… that means this kid can actually…'_

"… I am now able…" Lee now was right in front of him and performed a side kick with an incredibly huge amount of power that launched the man up into the air. "… To perform the Lotus as many times as I wish without any consequences…" The boy frowned from behind the man as bandages spun around the elder like a slew of twisted white snakes. "I will not allow you to hurt my friend." The younger taijutsu expert stated coldly as the two fell down spinning rapidly. "Primary Lotus!" Lee shouted just before he disengaged with his opponent and drove him headfirst into the ground with crushing force. Skidding to a stop several meters away, Lee breathed out slowly before looking at where his opponent had made a small crater in the earth.

The area was quiet sans the sounds of people shouting and fighting in the distance as the dust settled…

"Hahahaha!" A deep laugh made itself known. "Ah, now that was a good blast from the past! Nothing ever did wake me up more than that Lotus technique! You truly do take after that idiot! I actually think you hit harder than he did, too!" Yaksha's frame was slowly revealed pulling itself up from the ground. "And you can do it as many times as you want? Ah, that fool must have been jealous and excited as hell when he found that out…"

"I knew it was too easy…" Lee muttered. "If you encountered Gai-sensei as many times as you say you did, then there is no way you have not yet encountered the Lotus… though I am indeed concerned about the manner in which you dealt with it…"

"I just made my body tougher, kid. Simple as that." Yaksha chuckled as he walked out from the crater, showing that his skin, which before had darkened to brown, was now closer to black. "You won't beat me with a single gate and unlimited Primary Lotuses, kid. Even with the extra energy, you'd burn yourself out before you'd even scratch me."

"You make it sound like you want me to beat you." Lee commented. "Why is that?"

The man put on a thoughtful look. "Once again… no clue. Maybe it's because I like you for some reason, maybe it's because I feel guilty about beating the shit out of the student instead of the master himself." He shrugged. "Regardless, don't be mistaken, I don't have any intention of losing here. Last time I fought your teacher, I pushed him to use 5 gates before the war forced us to split prematurely, so unless you can get to that level and catch me off guard and come out of it in decent enough shape that my buddies won't off you afterwards, you better pray that you can come up with something fast…"

Lee grit his teeth. He could easily go up to the level of strength that the man suggested and hope it was enough to beat him, but it would cripple himself so much afterwards that he would only be a nuisance if someone else needed help on the battlefield. Since that was the case… no, he would attempt to beat this man honorably before resorting to that method. "I will fight you my own way." Lee stated with conviction. "The gates are an absolute last resort. Until I have determined that they are absolutely necessary, I will not use them…"

Yaksha smirked. "Suit yourself. Just don't die before you can change your mind." And with that, the large man sped up to in front of the green clad boy with his arm raised for what clearly was a devastating blow. Lee's eyes widened in shock before he jumped back and crossed his arms to block the absolutely crushing blow that the man delivered, launching him back through several stones before he finally stopped painfully in the middle of the earth.

"He has… become much stronger and faster…" The boy grunted painfully as he picked himself out of the rubble. "No wonder… he has fought Gai-sensei so many times and lived…" The alcoholic chocolate he had on him would be of no use here. His opponent was too fast and overpowering to use it efficiently. If it was a battle of technique, then yes, he would definitely gain the upper hand in this situation, but in raw power and speed, no. Sensing danger before he could even see anything, the boy bolted from the rubble despite the protests his body gave him just in time to avoid his opponent stomp exactly where he had been just moments before.

"Good instincts!" Yaksha praised the boy savagely as he kicked out from his current location and bolted to where Lee was now. "But how much longer can you last like this?!"

 _'Fast!'_ Lee noted frantically as he barely managed to dodge the elder's charging attack that would have done some serious damage to him had it hit. Instead, the man skidded to a halt a fair distance away. ' _I will be in trouble if he lands another hit like that on me…'_ The boy mused. ' _He seems to have trouble controlling himself when he moves that quickly… however, the way I am now, I am unable to do any damage to him should I engage him in taijutsu…'_ He grit his teeth and took the Gōken stance once more. ' _It seems I will have to resort to that unyouthful method after all if I do not wish to use any more gates…'_

Gōken. A taijutsu art that utilizes raw power, speed and agility to physically overwhelm its opponents. It is said to be a martial art that is second only to the Jūken of the Hyūga in the confines of Konoha. Its bizarre starting stance is fairly well known to all modern taijutsu practitioners, with the dominant hand folded behind the user's back just above the waist and the non-dominant hand held out open and facing to the sky as if the user is taunting his opponent…

However, this beginning stance belies the true and older nature of Gōken, for despite the fact that its main practitioners today are famous for only using it for raw taijutsu, the fact of the matter is that the style, much like Jūken, was a taijutsu art made for shinobi, not martial artists. Gōken was originally a style meant for killing and disabling… not fighting nobly…

Yaksha smirked as he turned around and this time ran straight to the boy at a speed that both knew the man would not lose control at. "Come on! Don't tell me that's all you have, boy!" He roared as he rushed forward…

… And got hit with several large green pellets flying at high speed, causing them to explode just before he reached Lee and enveloping him in a dark green smoke cloud.

The purpose of Gōken's initial stance is not only to taunt their opponents into attacking them, but to give the user near perfect access to whatever they may be holding in their pouches or secret stashes behind their back with their dominant arms. While the style does heavily rely on speed, strength, and flexibility, its original design was to abuse them to destroy their opponents after they were distracted or caught off guard with whatever object they had just whipped out in front of their face in near record time. Once more though, recent practitioners of this style (most notable of all Gai Might) had focused less on this unsavory starting tactic and more on the direct combat that ensued afterwards.

This approach is seen by many as logical, seeing as surprise tactics don't always work and it's regardless a one-time only tactic in battle, but this has conveniently led most shinobi to forget or disregard this fact when recalling this style in the middle of combat…as well as one of the shinobi basic tenets…

Something only needs to work once to kill you.

"What the hell?" Yaksha coughed out in surprise as he tried to clear out his eyes. "Where the fuck did that come from, kid? I thought you were Gai's student!"

The heavy green haze around the man lingered and swirled, clearly indicating that it was not simply a discolored smoke bomb. For several seconds, there was no sound other than Yaksha's coughing… before Lee's calm voice spoke up from seemingly nowhere. "Allow me to inform you a bit about myself before we continue…"

 _'The hell? Where is he?'_ The elder mentally grunted. "By all means go on. It will only give me time to find you."

"Due to an unfortunate birth defect, I am unable to mold my chakra properly like other shinobi, preventing me from doing anything beyond channeling it to some body parts and into objects. As such I am unable to perform most nin- and genjutsu." Lee continued unfazed.

The elder man frowned at this knowledge. "No nin or genjutsu… and they still let you become a shinobi?"

"Indeed." Lee's voice confirmed. "I trained my hardest in my below average taijutsu at the academy when Gai-sensei found me. He trained me and gave me the inspiration to become a great ninja with only taijutsu… however, recently I have come to realize that relying on only taijutsu will in the end stunt my growth and progress unless I can somehow widen my range of skills… and thus, I was taken under my next teacher alongside Gai-sensei…"

Blood flew from the back of the shocked Yaksha as he felt the kunai in Lee's hand somehow penetrate his rock hard skin and dig deeply into his insides before it was quickly retracted and the boy disappeared in the smog, his green spandex all but making him perfectly blend in the smoke before the man could turn around to find his assailant.

"Zabuza Momochi-sensei…" The boy's bodiless voice stated his more recent teacher's name. "Master of the silent killing technique…"

"Silent killing!" Yaksha grunted in pain as he instantly put up his guard frantically and looked around, expanding all of his senses as far as they could go. "Of all the things… but why would Gai let you… never mind that, how the hell did you pierce my skin!"

The man's question was met with silence… and sudden pain as his right thigh was slashed through as if he wasn't using a jutsu in the first place, leaving a huge gash that all but crippled the man. "… That… I am not inclined to tell you… my apologies…" Lee quietly responded from seemingly nowhere.

 _'This isn't good!'_ Yaksha frantically looked around. ' _This smog is perfectly hiding the brat, and if what he says is true, then looking for any sort of chakra signature is pointless. I have to get out of here and at least figure out how he's cutting through my skin before I bleed out or he gets a real vital spot!'_ Relying on his good leg, the man launched himself hard up and away from where he was, expecting to find himself leaving the cloud he had found himself trapped in and a brief view of how everyone else was doing…

However, that was not the case, as even when he felt himself reach the apex of his jump, he still found himself in the middle of that cursed dark green cloud. As such the man could not tell where he was landing and collapsed sloppily among several boulders. "The hell? Those smoke pellets weren't large enough to make a cloud this big. How am I still stuck in it?" The man grunted to himself as he painfully picked himself up… and was slashed across his side by the invisible Lee, causing him to hunch over again.

"Damn it! I've had ENOUGH!" The man roared as he lifted both arms up and slammed them as hard as he could into the ground, causing not only a massive shockwave, but a small wave of earth that spread out everywhere. The combined forces managed to clear out most of the debris and the smoke away from the man… but it also managed to hit Lee, if the boy's shout of surprise was any indication. Yaksha smirked as he stood up straight again and looked around sharply… to instantly notice that the green gas was swiftly converging onto him despite the fact that he just blew most of it away. ' _So that's how it works. The smoke in those bombs probably follows whoever it hits until either some kind of time limit passes or a condition is met.'_ He clicked is teeth in irritation as he felt his wounds catching up to him. He didn't see Lee at all. ' _Damn. I won't be able to fight like this. The kid has too much of an advantage in this situation and I can't be sure that he doesn't have any more of those annoying smoke pellets. I have to buy some time for now…'_ The man quickly made some seals and began to sink into the earth to hide from Lee… only to pause halfway when he felt a kunai's edge on his neck. "… Well, shit…" The man chuckled sarcastically. "… Let me guess… the only reason why you didn't go for my neck earlier is because you couldn't reach it fast enough."

"Indeed. You are quite a tall and skilled person, and I am not fast or adept enough to go for such points on one such as yourself so casually just yet." Lee calmly replied from behind the man just as the smoke began to cover them both. "I was unable to reach many of your true vitals without risking my loss, thus I went for painful and nearly crippling areas…"

"Interesting kunai…" The man mused as he eyed the metal, spying the seal on it and the small layering of sparking chakra around the edges. "I assume that that blade converts the user's chakra to steam the lightning element to the blade. Pretty nifty toy you have there. I'm guessing you have one for all the basic elements."

"4." Lee responded quietly. "Will you surrender? Will you forgo any unyouthful plans of hunting down my friends?"

Yaksha chuckled with his body halfway into the ground as his skin turned back to its normal tan color. "Heheh… you really are that idiot's student. I personally don't want to die, kid, but I don't have much say in the matter. Sooner or later, I am going to be hunted down. I've never been that good at stealth and laying low. That being said, I still want to be remembered for something other than being an escapee." He sighed. "But a loss is a loss. I'm beat. I'll give up hunting your buddy for now… granted you don't kill me here, but I can't make any promises about the future. Ah, what to do…"

Lee remained quiet for several seconds before speaking up again. "I know of a place that Sensei and I train frequently. If you wish, I can tell you where it is so you can have a rematch with him…"

"An interesting proposition." The elder mused. "But I really don't want to be set up to fight the master when I just got beaten by the student…"

"No…" Lee disagreed. "… You indeed fought a student of Gai-sensei earlier… however, you lost to a student of Zabuza-sensei. I defeated you with assassination skills… not taijutsu."

"Heh… mixing the stealth of silent killing with the ridiculous speed of Gōken… you'll be a legend of your own someday if you live long enough, kid, I can tell…" The man sighed. "Fine. I won't go after your friends or you so long as you send that teacher of yours to that area you told me about. I know enough about Gai that he won't stab me in the back… but at least make sure he knows my damned name before he goes."

Lee nodded as he pulled back his kunai. "You have my word…" He paused. "However, a word of advice should you think of going after Naruto-kun again… if you fight him with your current abilities and you were at your best… you will not be able to defeat him."

Yaksha blinked before snorting. "Heh. Speaking from experience, or just from that massive technique he just pulled off? From what I've seen he's pretty good, but not that good…"

Lee shook his head. "You misunderstand. I opened 5 gates against him in the Chūnin Exams, and he matched me for a good while blow for blow in straight up taijutsu before I began to gain the advantage due to my skills and speed. After he realized that, he utilized his ninjutsu to circumvent my abilities completely. And even then, he recently apologized to me, claiming he did not fight his hardest back then. To be perfectly honest, I do not know how truly strong he is..." He began to walk away. "But I have little doubt that he is more than capable of defeating you…"

The man looked at the boy warily. "… I'll take your word for it, kid… but let me give you a warning of my own to pay you back. It doesn't matter how many gates you can open or how strong you think your pal is, you'd better get yourself and your buddies out of here soon before that guy arrives or wakes up or whatever… because once he does, you're all screwed."

Lee paused and looked at the man skeptically. "That guy?"

"You'll be able to tell who he is right off the bat if you're too late. Big guy with red armor covering his entire body and a nasty temper. I enjoy a good fight, but there's no way in hell I'd go against that one alone." Yaksha warned as he disappeared into the ground. "I'd hurry and get your friends out soon if I were you… I want to have one final match with that idiot of a teacher of yours before I die…"

"You have my word…" Lee nodded as he turned away again. Reaching into his pouch, he took out a small piece of paper with a seal on it and used his chakra to turn it off. In the following few seconds, the green smog cleared almost instantly as if it never existed. He really would have to thank Scab-sensei for the custom made smoke pellets later. They were his answer to not being able to use Kirigakure after all…

The boy paused as he noticed his hand was shaking and frowned. He knew exactly the reason why he was… after all, he had almost made his first kill using Zabuza's methods instead of Gai's. He didn't know why it unnerved him so much. He had killed on occasion before, shattering spines, punching chests so hard the organs inside ruptured… but the thought of giving someone the red smile still unnerved him for some reason. Perhaps it was because he was unsettled by the sight of grotesque amounts of blood that he himself had shed or how simple the action seemed to be… or maybe it was because…

A nearby explosion snapped him out of his thoughts instantly. Putting his seal back into his pouch again, the boy rushed to where the fighting was still taking place. He could bother with his unyouthful thoughts later, right now he had teammates to help…

o. o. o.

Neji's fight:

The Hyūga and the old woman didn't exchange words as their partners left them alone to fight one on one. Both were eyeing one another warily, as if trying to see if they could determine what the other would do before they did it.

 _'Reading her face is nearly impossible…'_ Neji mentally cursed as he looked at the small old woman. Her long silver grey hair was limp and tied into a loose ponytail much like his own, only she had several strands that fell down the sides of her head as well. Given what she looked like now, she probably was fairly attractive when she was young. Her clothing was similar to noble shinobi attire, where she had a vest over a loose but expensive looking grey kimono with dark red flowers on the hem, no doubt in order to make sure that her body could move easily without restraint and not show off her physical conditions. It still maintained the standard Iwa style to some degree, cutting off one sleeve up to the mid forearm and making the other one slightly oversized. She was small, but despite that, she had a fair amount of muscle and some fat on her… reinforcing the glaring fact that she was a ninjutsu type.

Still, the excess skin combined with her self-control and her deep wrinkles prevented him from seeing even the slightest twitch on her face. This meant that his muscle reading techniques for determining what the woman was thinking in terms of strategies were nearly useless. Thankfully, his eyes could give him fair warning when the woman was preparing for any technique, and any subtle twitches in her arms would give him as good a warning as her increase in chakra.

Still… his situation was not hopeless… just extremely unstable.

His thoughts were interrupted as he saw the woman's chakra spike just a moment before she began to make seals. This of course prompted the boy to begin to move and focus his own chakra.

"Yōton: Kakkasu (Lava style: Burning Web)!" The woman shouted while spitting out a massive net made of lava at Neji at speeds akin to her previous attacks. The flying net seemed to catch the boy off guard and caught him, pinning his already smoldering, screaming body to the ground a fair distance away. "Humph." The woman frowned as she glanced at the pinned body before looking around warily, not paying attention as the boy transformed into a log. "Quick little bastard he is… and he's not so stuffed with pride that he wouldn't rely on jutsu outside of his clan's repertoire… this will be more difficult than I thought…" She mused as she looked around, her hands at the ready to make more seals.

 _'She knew I replaced myself before the illusion dispelled itself…'_ Neji frowned as he hid behind a stone nearby with his eyes active. ' _She's very good. I don't have any real ranged attacks, and the speed and technical range of her own are enough that I would be killed before I could even reach her… If this was a fight of attrition…'_ His eyes widened in surprise and fear as some large boulders near him were absolutely destroyed by a steady stream of small bullet like lava pellets flying in rapid succession.

' _Shit! She's trying to flush me out!'_ Neji quickly determined as he barely avoided becoming a human representation of burning Swiss cheese and began quickly weaving between objects that could serve as adequate temporary shields to maintain that status. The boy had gone through at least 6 boulders before the onslaught of bullets stopped.

 _'Is she going to use it again?'_ The boy frowned as he focused his eyes on the woman's chakra system. ' _No… that technique seems fairly draining. She has plenty left… but it seems as if she wants me to come out into the open so she can use her reserves more efficiently… not that I don't mind not running from those insanely fast things, but it_ _was_ _wasting her stamina…'_ Quietly planning a few quick strategies to gain more information on his opponent, Neji readied himself, made sure that his opponent wasn't preparing another attack to murder him in the blink of an eye, and slowly walked out of his cover.

"My my…" Chuckled the woman. "Ever the noble, aren't you Hyūga? From the way you're walking, no one would suspect that you were just jumping between rocks for your life a few seconds ago…"

"Funny. From the way you were blasting jutsu left and right, one would suspect that you actually had experience for your age." Neji retorted, getting a twitch of irritation from his opponent.

"I do deserve that…" She growled. "I admit, it has been a while since I have been in battle. My reserves are not what I assumed them to be, as you have already seen with those eyes of yours… however, it is more than enough to take care of you, boy."

 _'She believes what she said.'_ Neji deduced from his opponent's body language. ' _I have to be very careful from now on…'_ "Very well then…" He muttered as he took a Jūken stance. "Then I will try my hardest to prove you wrong…" He put on a small wry grin. "Mistress Spitfire."

The boy quickly learned that what he said was most definitely the wrong thing to say, as a very thick killing intent was sent his way. Obviously, not only had she been called this before… but it clearly hit a particularly sensitive nerve.

The old woman's eyebrow twitched again before she began to make some seals. "Wrong choice of words, brat…" She growled darkly before arcing back. "Yōton! Senkoumori (Lava style. Flash Lance)!" She roared as she shot out a far greater number of lava based spears from her mouth high into the sky, which then arced down toward where Neji stood with his eyes active.

 _'The spears are just a distraction…'_ He frowned as he watched the woman make more seals. ' _She wants me to use Kaiten. The real attack is coming from straight ahead… judging from how they are falling… damn it… I'm about to do something that I would have only expected from Naruto…'_ Neji began to spin, obviously setting up for Kaiten again…

_'Kaiten is indeed a mighty defense, but this attack has enough power to pierce even that. It is said that the penetrating power of this attack is only surpassed by the strongest of lightning techniques used by the Third Raikage… but why hasn't the barrier appeared yet?'_ _Despite her unease, the woman couldn't exactly stop her jutsu at this point, so she went through with her plan._

"Yōton! Furui Enchū! (Lava style. Ancient Shaft)" The woman hocked out a single massive lava spear, comparable to some of Konoha's ancient trees in girth, which flew at the same speed as her previous spears at the spinning boy…

…only to see him instantly stop rotating and began to charge straight at her with his eyes active, dodging the falling spears by shifting the smallest possible amount and barely avoiding the massive lava pike without flinching or losing speed. If either one of them had bothered to pay attention to the disturbingly huge spear afterwards, they would have seen it continue forward, destroying everything it touched and setting the rubble it grazed on fire, before crashing into the forest with enormous force and starting an enormous wildfire.

It was at this point that the elderly woman learned something about the Hyūga prodigy that many people who have known him have long since overlooked and or forgotten…

Neji was very… VERY fast.

To put things into perspective, while the boy was nowhere near as nimble as Lee without his weights, he was still without a doubt the second fastest shinobi in his general age group when the others were not augmented by say, a bijū, the 8 gates, or a bloodline that makes one move at near incomprehensible levels between mirrors. Considering that he is being put up against an Inuzuka, who are known for their high speed taijutsu techniques, a jinchūriki who is the apprentice of one of the fastest beings in existence, and an ice bloodline user whose been on the run for nearly her own life, that would easily clock him at levels that would put most jōnin on edge.

So as a result of this, by the time the elderly woman realized her mistake and regained her bearings, Neji had not only dodged all of her attacks and her trap, he had also covered a significant amount of ground between the two without so much a scratch other than the heat of the woman's massive lance causing his clothes to singe and his hair to become rather frazzled.

"Shit!" The woman hissed as she jumped back and rapidly attempted to make more seals… when she had to break free from the attempt in order to dodge the slew of kunai the boy had thrown at her in order to slow her down. She mentally swore as she slapped away several shuriken that had attempted to hit her in the middle of her retreat. ' _He's good…_ _t_ _oo good. I've underestimated him… he'll catch up at this rate. I have to slow him down, but he's not letting me have enough time to use seals for my techniques… damn… if I wasn't so old and decrepit, I wouldn't have this sort of problem! Annoying stiff joints!'_

Neji pressed forward with blinding speed, letting loose projectile after projectile with accurate aim. He made a mental note to thank Tenten for forcing him and Lee to do all those weapons throwing practices such that their accuracy was at least 39/40 at the 20 meter mark… something that he heard was the standard practice for most chūnin borderline special jōnin. His veined eyes did not blink as he progressed towards his target. He was on the hunt, and now his prey had nowhere to hide…

He was quite close to the woman when he suddenly saw her gather a large and unfocused amount of chakra into her mouth while making a single seal and turning around, causing his eyes to widen in surprise… just before the old woman unleashed a wide loose spray of magma everywhere at once again ridiculous speeds, completely enveloping a screaming Neji in the process.

The elderly woman didn't stop there, however, as she ran to the area where Neji stood before, where the still semi molten spears she had made earlier jutted out of the ground like branchless trees. With 3 rapidly made seals, all of the constructs instantly lost their form and became pure molten lava that pooled in the general area, and with 3 more seals, a small stone platform shot up from the middle of the forming pool, which she landed on not a few seconds later.

Quickly turning around with her hands at the ready for both deflecting projectiles and making seals, the woman glared at any and everything around her, her breathing becoming slightly labored. "I didn't think I'd have to resort to this tactic so soon against a single brat…" She panted lightly, her eyes darting left and right. "It seems that I was unfortunate enough to encounter one of those annoying talented prodigies… it was foolish of me to lose my temper so quickly from that stupid comment. I wasted far more chakra than I should have…" She looked at where she had blindsided the Hyūga with her sloppy seal-less fire breathing… only to notice that there was no sight of a body, alive or dead in the flames. "… If only it were that easy… though hopefully I managed to slow him down with that…" She grumbled to herself, making more seals to gradually widen and deepen the lava pit surrounding her, before pivoting left and right with practiced ease to scan her surroundings… and turning again to deflect several thrown shuriken. "Humph." She smirked. "Of course he would rely on kunai and shuriken. He is unable to get to me here under other conditions, seeing as he clearly is unable to perform any ranged Jūken techniques. I can freely attack from here and regain some chakra while he would have to show himself and rely on those flimsy pieces of metal…"

Neji grit his teeth in frustration and pain as he hid behind a small mound of rocks near where he was nearly scorched to death by the woman's hasty fire technique. His escape was not perfect, as the burns on his right arm and side would attest. He admitted that he would had lost then and there had he been less prepared…

… However, he had been prepared for situations not dissimilar to this. Getting unexpectedly blasted point blank in the face with fire once was enough for him, thank you very much. Ever since his loss to Sasuke, Neji has instinctively been wary of being around fire elements, especially when he was rushing to get in close to them. While Neji was not one that many thought could use the replacement technique without seals… including himself… certain times that spur grotesque amounts of panic in the boy could enable him to perform such feats nearly instinctively.

"What is it with me and fire elements? Honestly…" The boy muttered under his breath as he watched his opponent rest on her platform. The two were currently at an impasse, not being able to gain an advantage over the other… however, with each passing second, the woman was regaining her chakra, and things leaning to her favor once more, as his injuries would tax him in the meantime. He would have to do something about it soon, or else he feared that she would have enough energy to produce a technique or combo that he wouldn't be able to handle. She wouldn't be taking any more chances against him, and would go for the certain kill this time…

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, the boy frowned and went over the situation. His opponent was an elderly woman with plenty of combat experience and powerful jutsu to boot. She specialized in extremely fast mid- to long ranged Yōton techniques, but she was also capable of Doton and Katon as well. His saving grace was that she had reserves that were on the small side and that she apparently had not been in battle for a while, so she isn't used to her body's condition. Plus, from the way he saw her react to him getting closer, he could infer that her taijutsu was at a level that he would shatter the woman should he get within arm's reach of her. The bad news was that she was used to fighting members of his clan and had set herself up in the middle of a lava pit of all things, preventing him for reaching her without exposing himself to getting blown to pieces in the process…

He paused as he looked once more at the woman's setup. While it was risky if she was fighting a ranged opponent, it was an asset of great importance against one like him… however, it also informed him of a trait of her jutsu that he did not know before…

Checking his pouch and seeing what was in there… the boy quickly made a few assessments and plans before getting ready to finish the fight. It was time to remind himself why he once held the top spot in his age group in Konoha…

"Where is he?" Lady Spitfire muttered under her breath warily as she began to grow concerned. The lull in combat was always something she did not like, because it either meant that the enemy had given up, or was more likely coming up with a plan to use against you… or already setting it up right under your nose. The Hyūga boy did not seem like one that would go for the former route…

The sudden whistling of flying shuriken snapped the woman out of her musings as she quickly turned and deflected several shuriken flying at her, eyeing the boy beyond the attack, who was already throwing more weapons at her. "Is that all?" She muttered to herself disgusted at the tactics the boy was using. "Throwing basic tools at me? Is that really the best you can come up with, boy? I don't even need to use my jutsu on you…" She continued to swat away the tools as they flew at her, irritating her more and more as time went on…

 _'It seems my assumption was right… her eyes aren't as sharp as she thinks they are. She never noticed the difference between some of the kunai I threw.'_ Neji smirked slightly as he started his next step. ' _Right… I've given her an impression of my skills now… now to take a leaf from Sasuke's and Naruto's book… I never thought I'd actually wind up actually having to use these though…'_ The Hyūga mentally sighed as he took out a scroll and unsealed… 2 very large fūma shuriken.

 _'This boy continues to annoy and confuse me…'_ The elder frowned. ' _I can easily dodge those or use my jutsu to destroy them. In fact, I've never heard of a Hyūga that used fūma shuriken before. What is he planning?'_ Her eyes narrowed as she saw her opponent moving… and threw both of the shuriken at once. "What a waste of equipment…" She grunted as she watched the spinning blades weave in and out of one another widely at her general direction… before she jumped up and watched both pass by underneath her, separate for the last time, and crash into the lava behind her. Turning her attention to the boy again in irritated rage, the woman began to fly through several seals, intent on ending the boy now… when she saw him standing casually in front of her with a kunai with an exploding tag tied to the ring in hand. Getting even angrier, the woman finished her seals and landed on her mound. "Enough! I am tired of this progressively dulling game! Yōton! Shōkyo Tō (Melting Sickle)!"

Because the woman was whipping her head to make the flying arcs of lava at Neji, she unfortunately missed what happened next.

As the woman finished the last of her seals, the Hyūga threw his exploding kunai in her general direction, but it hit the lava about half way to her. As the woman had just finished with her attack, Neji pulsed his chakra, not only setting off the kunai he had just thrown, but the 2 specially designed, exploding seals engraved into the metal fūma shuriken that had landed behind the woman, at a perfect 120 degree angle from one another and Neji with herself in the center.

As such, the last thing the woman saw before she was completely deafened by the 3 simultaneous explosions and surrounded by a wave of lava from all sides was the boy striking through her attack with his bare hands…

Neji breathed out in exhaustion as he watched the woman get completely enveloped by her own lava, making sure that she did not somehow escape underground or reveal that she was somehow immune to her own techniques after all. "Honestly… I never thought I'd have to use Naruto's 'when in doubt, blow something up' way of thinking to win a fight." He shook his head in mock humor before he winced in pain as he remembered that he was still burned in a few places.

"Honestly… I trained my hardest to deflect these kinds of attacks after my fight against Sasuke, and I barely got to put it to use in a fight where it would have been viable." The Hyūga sighed as he made some seals and performed a low level medical ninjutsu designed for healing burn injuries. He wasn't as skilled as Hinata or Sakura at the art, but he was fairly adept at quick fixing broken bones, torn muscles, and bruises from hanging around Lee and Gai so much. Other than that massive lava lance and lava web, he was fairly certain he could have manually knocked aside any physically large attack the woman shot at him. Those small bullet style attacks, though… he was not as comfortable dealing with those.

"Neji!" He turned around to see his teammates running to him worriedly.

"Humph…" The Hyūga frowned in disappointment. "I guess I'm the last of us to beat our opponents."

"What's that supposed to mean, blinky?" Kin growled as she landed. "I busted my ass to get here when I heard that explosion! Normally you and things that go boom don't mix well."

"Regardless! I see that since we are all here we have managed to deal with our targets!" Lee said happily. "It shows how strong our flames of youth truly are!"

"Technically Lee, I took my opponent out using her own flames." Neji chuckled lightly as he finished patching himself up. "You two need any healing done?"

Lee patted his body down and winced a few times. "I may have a few bruises and a fracture or two that may need some attention." He looked at Kin worriedly.

The girl shrugged and pointed to the scratches and gashes she got in her bout. "These are all I got. I won't die from this, but it will make fighting any new opponents soon a complete bitch to do."

Neji nodded as he started working on Lee, since his injuries could be managed faster. "After this, we'll go straight for Hinata-sama and aid her group. They may have encountered some difficult opponents, and from what I can see, there have been several moments where a fair amount of chakra has been used…" He frowned as a notable explosion was heard from her general direction. "I hope you two don't mind if I only give you a rushed job…"

"Not in the slightest." Kin grunted without turning away from the direction of the commotion.

"I'd be more insulted if you took your time…" Lee replied in a dark tone.

"That's what I figured." Neji confirmed as another explosion was heard in the distance.

o. o. o.

Sai and Ino's fight:

"Explosions…" Ino sighed to herself as she and her teammate approached their opponent. "It just HAD to be explosions…"

"It would be best if you focused more on our opponent than complaining about what she can do, Ino…" Sai frowned as he readied out his drawing scroll and ink. "Elemental bloodline users tend to have very unpredictable techniques…"

The girl rolled her eyes as she reached for some poisoned senbon. "So we just have to pretend we're fighting Naruto or Ghost-sensei when they're only using explosives then. Nice to have this strategy meeting with you, Sai, we should really do this again sometime…"

"I'll have to check my calendar after we finish fighting, Ino… but I think the Wednesday after we get back will be open… unless this incident provides to be more time consuming then we first anticipated…" The pale boy cluelessly replied.

Ino sighed. "Sai… you know what, when we do have another session, we'll go over your sarcasm recognizing skills again just to be safe…" She hardened herself and looked at her opponent. "For now, let's just try to keep away from lady bombs-a-lot over there and try to figure out how to win this…"

The two teens looked at their opponent warily. She was an attractive woman, on the tall side with long maroon hair and grey eyes. Her clothing was standard Iwa shinobi attire, with one long sleeve on one arm and no sleeve on the other. The thing that unnerved the two, though, was the fact that the woman seemed to have a cold and empty look on her face that seemed almost natural for her. It pretty much screamed of the number of people she's killed and how used to battle she was.

"I hate fighting kids." The woman said out loud in a tired and annoyed tone. "They always act like such brats when the fight doesn't go their way…" She paused and looked at Ino. "… That girl looks so much like Deidara it's not even funny…"

"What do you suggest?" Sai asked curiously.

"I was thinking of giving her a walk through the jungle." Ino smiled confidently. "She does seem like a short ranged type after all."

Sai responded by rapidly drawing his trademark animal in succession before making a ram seal. Instantly, the pride of lions burst to life from his paper and began to encircle the woman, staying close enough to restrict her movements, but staying far enough to not get blown apart.

"At least they have some decent techniques for brats…" The blast element user commented, eyeing the constructs surrounding her before she suddenly lurched as if her body had just been shot, despite the fact that that nothing physical happened to her. The irregularity between body and mind only happened for a moment, but that was all it took to create an opening for one of the lions to pounce the woman, scratching her deeply in the side before she managed to punch and blow it up in the process. Narrowing her eyes, she glared at the Konoha shinobi from past the rotating lions, who were looking at her expectantly. "Scratch that. They have dangerous techniques." Rearing back a fist before anything else could happen, the woman punched the ground in front of her, erupting it and kicking up a massive cloud of debris in Sai and Ino's direction before turning onto the lions who were upon her…

"Shit! She realized what we were up to that fast?" Ino shouted in disbelief as she and her partner bolted to the side to avoid the dust and debris.

"She is more experienced than we thought…" Sai frowned. "Hopefully, she didn't realize what exactly you did or your status as a Yamanaka, or this fight will be more difficult…" He paused as a series of small explosions drew his attention to where their opponent was. "It seems as if we will need to come up with a new tactic soon…"

"We need a way to pin her down in one spot for a while so I can hit her with my clan techniques and you can bind her." Ino frowned. "If Kiba was here…"

"It's best that he isn't." Sai reminded her. "He does mostly close range combat. The odds of him getting severe damage are too high… that's why we sent him to help Hinata in the first place."

"Still doesn't mean we couldn't have found a way to put his ass to work." The blonde grumbled as she scanned the area where their foe was taking out all of Sai's lions with pure taijutsu, blowing each and every one up with a single strike. "Tch… it's like fighting Hinata or Neji, only instead of disrupting their targets' insides… they explode…"

Sai's eyes widened momentarily before narrowing again and started to draw again. "You're right. It is like fighting those two… only this time, our foe doesn't have the Byakugan…" He made the ram seal again and from his paper erupted his new fighting drawings: monkeys. While not nearly as powerful or fast as lions and slightly harder to draw, monkeys were a more versatile and agile attack force, being able to perform more technical attack patterns and dodge opponents' attacks more easily. "It would be best to capture her… for now, let us see how she deals with this before we proceed. Back me up with your weapons, she's already suspicious of your jutsu and it would be more difficult for us if she figures out you're a Yamanaka…"

"Right…" Ino nodded as she took out some kunai and watched the woman's movements as she finished off the lions… only to turn and see the slew of monkeys and snakes approaching her…

"They're trying to capture me…" The woman frowned as she saw the next wave of animals and squeezed her fists in irritation. "Not this time, brats…" She muttered as she drew her fist back. "Bakuton: Hibiki (Blast style. Echo)." She stated and punched the air, causing a potent but concentrated explosion in front of her and making a large invisible shockwave that took out all of the ink constructs almost instantly.

"Fuck!" Ino swore as she and Sai jumped away in order to avoid getting caught in the attack.

"This will be more difficult than I thought." Sai frowned. "She has powerful ranged jutsu as well, and I cannot keep on making my constructs constantly…"

"Shame you don't have huge reserves like Naruto…" Ino grumbled as she took in her surroundings and eyed her opponent. "Can't use gas or smoke bombs, she'd just blow them back at us…" She noted the amount of debris all over the ground and went over all the ink constructs she knew Sai could make. Slowly, a very rough and untested plan came to mind. "Hey pasty, how are you at improvising and altering your drawings?"

The bomb user blinked as she saw the girl talking to her teammate. She apparently had a plan… and plans made on the enemy's side usually was a bad thing. However, before she could do anything about it, the girl whipped out some smoke bombs and set them off on herself, concealing them in the gas. Before she could do anything to blow away the smoke, a black and white bird, no doubt another one of the boy's ink techniques, flew straight up out of the cloud. Judging from the black and blonde heads on the back, the two kids were hitching a ride… but just to be sure… "Bakuton: Claymore." She muttered after making some seals, slamming her hands onto the ground and waiting for a moment… before the ground that the smoke was hovering over exploded violently, clearing the smoke and all the debris that was there. "Humph… so they aren't dumb enough to think that the bird was enough to distract me and take my attention off of the cloud after all…" She muttered as she looked up at the bird that was flying above her in circles.

"I hope this plan proves to be fruitful…" Sai breathed out heavily as he made several small birds. "It is rather taxing to my reserves…"

Ino next to him didn't say anything as she tied small strings of exploding tags to the newly made constructs.

The Iwa escapee clicked her teeth in annoyance as she saw several additional white flying objects leave the main white bird, which still remained out of her range of attack. "Little bastards are trying to wear me out…" She got into a ready stance with her fist cocked back and focused her chakra to set off on a dime as she watched the smaller and clearly more maneuverable birds get into range.

Closer…

Closer…

There!

As soon as the flying birds were within a 20 meter range, the woman unleashed several rapid punches, each setting off an explosion and subsequent shockwave at her targets. The small birds avoided getting hit for the most part, but one by one, they were all destroyed, setting off the exploding tags they were carrying and making several impressive bangs of their own in the air.

Breathing slightly harder, the woman was almost about to relax her stance when her danger senses screamed at her to move, which she did, but unfortunately for her, not fast enough, as she caught sight of the half a dozen black ink snakes lying around her…

… Each with a noticeably round bulge in their mid-sections that was growing larger by the millisecond.

Before she could properly get away from the blast, each of the snakes' stomachs erupted, unleashing dozens if not at least a couple hundred senbon flying in each and every direction. The woman could only grit her teeth and protect her vitals as she was scratched and pierced on her arms, legs, and portions of her body that she was unable to defend. When she landed not a second later, she noted that there were more birds flying from the main one from up above. "Damn it…" The woman muttered as she began to feel dizzy, no doubt because the senbon embedded in her were soaked with poison. Considering how many needles were embedded into her body, she didn't like her odds of lasting long…

" _Get… help…"_

A small idea popped into the woman's head. It didn't feel like something of her own, but it was something that she probably would have come up with regardless. "I underestimated them… they're no rookies. I have to go back to Sinō… or else I'm gonna die here…" Turning her back on the bird and in the direction of the other fight, the woman bolted as quickly as she could.

"She realizes that both the odds and the clock are against her…" Sai mused as he brought the bird down to chase the woman. "So far… so good…"

Her breathing grew more labored as she ran to where she could see another fight taking place. At the moment, she couldn't bother to wonder why the experienced general was having trouble against two kids, even if they were talented. All she knew was that she needed help, and quickly.

She was just about done removing the last of the senbon in her arms when a sudden shocking pain lanced up from her feet and force her to jump back in reflex. Grimacing as she landed, the woman assessed that the bottom of her feet had been stabbed, and looking ahead, she saw what had done so. Dozens of makibishi, little 4 pronged spikes made as quick foot traps, littered the area in front of her. "Damn it!" The woman swore, no doubt pissed that she fell prey to such a basic tool despite the fact that the poison in her system was starting to mess with her vision. Blasting away the offending pieces of metal, the woman dashed once again as she felt the poison starting to affect more of her senses and the birds behind her closing in…

" _Take them down… with you…"_

Before she turned stopped and began running straight to the oncoming birds. How stupid did they think she was? The annoying minor trap had been all the proof she needed that they had predicted that she would try to get help as soon as she realized she was poisoned. No doubt there were more traps waiting for her had she continued. On the plus side, the brats on the bird were now almost in range and getting closer by the second. Lethal poison or not, she would make sure to eliminate the threat they posed before she blacked out.

Grabbing a few stones as she ran, the woman seallessly performed a jutsu that changed their internal makeup before chucking them at the various birds that got near her. As soon as each rock got near their intended target, they would detonate and send shrapnel flying in all directions, taking out the target in the process.

Seeing the evidence that their target was clearly not as weakened as they would have hoped, Sai and Ino's ride attempted to turn around and get as far away as possible from the woman, flapping its wings rapidly in order to gain the speed and altitude it needed for more maneuverability…

" _They're… getting… away!"_

"It's too late, you little shits…" The woman growled as she reared back her fist, focusing so much chakra into it that it was actually glowing. "Bakuton. Hatsu Sekai Jijo (Blast style. New World Order)."

The dark sky lit up as an explosion unlike any other erupted from the woman's punching fist, sending a massive wave of seemingly pure erupting chakra at the retreating bird, which disappeared and disintegrated in the blast almost instantly. The beam of light and chakra lasted for several seconds before it finally died off, returning the area to its dimming colors as the sun set in the distance.

"Hah… hah…" The exploding art user panted as she fell to her hands and knees. Her feet and other wounds were bleeding, but not enough to staunch the potent poisons running through her veins, causing her body to gradually seize up on itself…

She didn't even notice the snakes that wrapped themselves around her until several seconds after her face hit the ground.

"Wow…" Ino whistled as she walked out from her cover of some debris. "You know… you totally would have won if you used that on us in the first place. I don't think even Naruto can pull something ridiculous like that off…"

"If I remember correctly…" Sai panted as he appeared from the opposite direction of the girl. "He recently made 3 tornados… I'm fairly certain that qualifies…"

"You… lived?" The woman gasped for air. "But… heh… I see… those were clones… on the bird…"

"Correction. I was on my bird. The Ino with me, however, was a clone… the real one escaped as soon as the cloud was made… else she would have been killed by that attack of yours." Sai approached his opponent with some wire.

"That explains… the makibishi." The eldest muttered, her vision was already going. "She already predicted… my moves…"

Ino flipped her hair casually before throwing more senbon at her opponent, using poison that would disrupt the target's chakra control and prevent them from molding it. "You're half right. I did know what you were going to do, but that's only because I was the one that put those general ideas… or to be more exact, feelings into your head in the first place…"

"Yamanaka…" The loser's eyes widened in realization, remembering all the odd thoughts that had come to mind during the fight.

"I merely replaced myself with another clone while I was chasing you. My clones are unable to perform my jutsu." Sai muttered as he began using his wires to tie the woman up. "It is foolish to leave myself in such an exposed position…" He looked at said gleeful blonde. "… Though I was surprised by your idea to use my snakes to transport your bombs, Ino…"

The Yamanaka shrugged. "Hey, you don't spend a ton of time with a child super genius, a psychotic blonde, Anko, and the Ōgakari and not get some of their creativity rubbed off on you, Sai."

"I'm fairly certain creativity doesn't work like that." Sai tilted his head to the side confused.

Ino's eyebrow twitched. "Fine. How about this. I came up with it a while ago to try and finally outsmart Shikamaru in our next spar, but never got the chance to use it." They were snapped out of their conversation by their prisoner's raspy chuckling. "Something funny, lady?" The younger female growled.

"Heh… you remind me… of my old team… before they died… in the war with Konoha…" The woman laughed roughly, hovering in and out of consciousness. "We always… got into fights… like that… but we were never… that strong…"

"Do not expect us to pity you because your team is dead." Sai spoke calmly as he tied the woman up some more.

"I don't…" She replied. "Am I going to…" She couldn't seem to make out the last of her sentence.

"It's a paralysis poison." Ino replied. "You won't be able to control your body for at least half a week with how much got into your system." She lied. It was more akin to 2 weeks if they let the toxins run their course, but it didn't hurt to be careful.

"I see…" The woman sighed, finally losing consciousness. "Be careful… of Han… monster…" She managed to mutter out before she went out like a light.

"Han?" The blonde tilted her head to the side confused. "I thought that guy Hinata and Kiba were fighting was named Sinō…" Her eyes widened in realization. "Oh shit! I almost forgot! Hinata and Kiba are still fighting that guy!"

Sai on the other hand had frozen in place. ' _No… it couldn't be… it could just be a different Han… but if it is the one that I am thinking of… this doesn't bode well…'_

"Oooi!" Shouted a familiar voice from the opposite direction of the fighting, grabbing both of the 2 teen's attention to see Neji's team approaching them. "Guys! Are you okay?!" Kin yelled as the 3 landed near the pair. "We saw that huge blast and booked it over here as fast as we could!"

"We're fine!" Ino waved happily. "I outsmarted our opponent completely!"

"I find that hard to believe…" Neji snorted as he approached her before looking at Sai. "What happened to Sai?"

Kin grimaced. "He looks paler than normal, and his normal shade of chalk white was already considered unhealthy."

Ino shrugged. "No clue. What's her name just warned us about some guy named Han before passing out and then you guys showed up…"

Lee frowned. "Hm… he may be the same person my opponent warned me about before he was defeated. He mentioned a very unyouthful individual with red armor that we should be extremely wary about…"

"Red armor?" Sai snapped his head and grabbed Lee roughly. "Are you sure that is what he said?"

"Y-yes." Lee stammered. "Why? Do you know who he was talking about?"

"Spill it, Sai." Kin frowned. "We all know you're more informed about the big shots in the shinobi world than the rest of us. Who's this Han guy?"

Sai grit his teeth, and frowned deeply, unnerving his teammates since he was never one to express much emotion. "Someone we should pray was killed by Naruto's attack. If not… we will be extremely pressed to survive an encounter with him, never mind defeat him, even with Naruto's aid…" He paused. "He has the Gobi sealed in him…"

The air around the group was silent for several seconds as all the other genin there realized how dire their situation was. "Shit." Kin stated bluntly.

"So he's just like Naruto, then…" Ino frowned.

Sai shook his head. "No. He's far worse. He has no empathy for his enemies, and has been known to occasionally turn against his commanding officers. In short, he is a very violent and unstable man who has an incredible amount of power inside of him." He grit his teeth. "Should he actually access his demon's chakra, we would not stand a chance against him…"

"We have to get out of here before he finds us, then." Neji frowned and looked around. "Where's Hinata-sama and Kiba?"

Ino slapped her forehead. "Damn it! I almost forgot! Those two are fighting against another heavy hitter nearby! Some hardcore Iwa general from the Third War! We have to help them!"

Sai picked himself up. "Right. With all of us together, we may have a decent chance at defeating Sinō as long as we fight smart. But at the same time, we have to prepare to encounter a situation where Hinata and Kiba are not in the best shape…"

Neji nodded. "Correct. If that is the case, then I believe we should…"

o. o. o.

Hinata and Kiba's fight:

Kiba couldn't help but swear with every vulgar word in his dictionary at his current situation.

General Sinō, if that was his name, was a middle aged man. He was of slightly above average height and was noticeably muscled, though he was rather skinny for the most part. The man's skin was tan, tough, and leathery, matching the calm and nearly emotionless expression that maintained itself on his face, with a head of neat short black going grey hair on top. His clothing was straight from Iwa's textbooks. Shinobi pants, one long sleeve and no sleeve combination, standard vest, and a headband. He carried himself like nobility, but his rough hands were covered in scratches and scars that betrayed what he was willing to do at times.

The fight had been going slightly in his side's favor for a while. Between Hinata's Byakugan and his and Akamaru's sensing through smell, combined with their 3 on 1 position, things looked pretty good for the Konoha shinobi. Sure, there were a few close calls involving a large area of earth becoming riddled with spikes in a few seconds, or when the man's surprising prowess in taijutsu had almost left him a bloody smear on the ground if it weren't for Hinata… but other than that, he assumed they were doing pretty well…

Well, that was until…

"Summoning…" Sinō muttered calmly with a hand on the ground, causing both teens and dog to pale dramatically.

Appearing in standard summon fashion emerged a mole, roughly the height of a human and 3 times as thick, wearing nothing but an Iwa forehead protector that hung just a bit over its eyes and a loose black vest. Its massive and insanely sharp looking claws were practically the length of half its body, and its eyes were as battle hardened as its summoner. **"Sinō… I thought you were in jail…"** The mole spoke with a deep and raspy voice, more curious about who called him than the situation.

"It's been a while, Kongen." Sinō nodded before looking at the Konoha shinobi. "I apologize for not telling you sooner, but I wished to call you in a more appropriate situation…"

" **Konoha again? They look like kids. Isn't the war over? I don't want to waste my time with such small fry…"** Kongen grunted irritably, eyeing the teens with disdain.

Sinō nodded. "Indeed, it is over. However, I wish to ensure that the Leaf loses a few of its most prominent buds before they become a problem. At first, I intended to only take out Namikaze's son… however, these two have proven to be rather talented as well, which is where you come in…"

" **You must be getting old if only a couple of kids have pushed you to call me out."** The mole muttered, twitching his claws reflexively.

"I am 48, Kongen. I still have a few years left in me before my body begins to truly suffer from its age." The man frowned before turning to the Konoha teens and taking out the Black Book. "Now then… before we continue, I want to get our formalities out of the way. My name is Sinō, a general of Iwa before I was arrested due to politics. This is my familiar of the Mole summons, Kongen. Judging from your appearances, you are a Hyūga and an Inuzuka respectively. May I have your names, if you would? It is rare that I encounter youths of such notable talent…"

Hinata frowned. "You're going to look us up in the Black Book when we give you our names."

The man nodded. "Of course. Information is one of the crucial points in warfare, after all."

"Then why the hell would we give you our names then, dumbass?" Kiba yelled defiantly.

Sinō snorted and shook his head as he flipped through the pages. "Because I gave you mine. Isn't it merely good manners?"

Hinata didn't take her eyes off of neither of their opponents. "Manners went out the window when you came to kill Naruto-kun…" She narrowed her dōjutsu as she noted the man continuing to flip through the pages before her eyes widened. "You're just stalling until you come across a page with us on it!"

The mole snorted. **"Heh. Girl got you, Sinō."**

The general nodded approvingly, but still did not slow down turning the pages. "Indeed. I am somewhat embarrassed that one so young is one of the few that have seen past that petty ruse so quickly, if at all." He stopped at a page and raised an eyebrow. "Ah… I seemed to have found our young lady here after all. Hinata Hyūga. Konoha's Arashi no Me (Eye of the Storm)…" The man was interrupted as Kongen moved with speed that far belied his size and crossed his claws in front of him to block the chakra blasts that Hinata had shot at Sinō in order to prevent him from learning more information about her…

" **Tch…"** The mole grunted as he flexed his metal covered claws. **"I can see why you called me. Girl packs a punch."**

"… Possesses a number of unique but powerful jutsu that are unknown to her clan, including ranged jutsu that increase her threat level considerably. A prodigy of Jūken… and heiress of the clan…" The man nodded in approval, seemingly not paying attention to the attempt on his life. "I can certainly see Hiashi being proud of you…"

"Arashi no Me, huh?" Kiba snorted through a strained teeth. "Gotta say… I don't know who picked it out, Hinata… but if we live through this, you might want to thank the guy for a title like that…"

"It was probably named after my Daioh Kaiten…" The girl frowned. "But now he has more information on us… and backup." She saw the man looking the book still. "He probably is looking for you now…"

"Good luck." Kiba snorted. "All the stuff from the book about us was probably taken during the Chūnin Exams. There's no way I'm in there."

Hinata nodded. "My thoughts exactly. Still, how are we going to do this?"

The boy looked between the mole and the man carefully. "I got the mole. Animal issues gotta stay between us after all… besides you, know that I'd just get killed if I fought that guy one on one…"

"My thoughts exactly…" Hinata nodded. "Besides, I don't think I could do well against those claws." She looked through her pouch and made a checklist of what she had before pausing. "… Kiba… remember when we were back in a team and we were discussing ways to aid one another's clan techniques?"

The Inuzuka frowned for a moment. "Yeah, what about it? That was a long time ago."

The girl hesitantly looked at him. "Do you think that vial you gave me would still work?"

Kiba looked at her confused before his eyes widened. "You still have… never mind…" He bit his lip and thought carefully. "That was a while ago… I'm not sure if it's strong enough now… but if it's been sealed the entire time… it might work…"

"Are you quite done?" Sinō asked irritably with crossed arms. "Because just to inform you… we are too…" Before Kiba or Hinata could react, Kongen dashed right towards them so quickly they could barely react, forcing the Inuzuka duo and Hinata to split apart.

The mole then decided to focus his attention on Hinata.

"Hinata!" Kiba yelled as he saw the girl dance between the strikes of her inhuman opponent in rapid succession. Down. Back. Left. Jump back again. Down. The girl's movements were only surpassed by the mole and his lightning fast strikes as he attempted to cut down the girl with his massive claws, moving so quickly and nimbly that the girl could not manage to use her nin- or taijutsu to get any breathing room.

"Kiba! Pay attention to Sinō!" Hinata shouted as she once more dodged a slash that would have decapitated her before backflipping out of the way of the creature's sharp toe claws as he kicked… only dash to the side as the beast attempted to spear her with his other arm in a rapid thrust. The girl had no doubt that she could effectively 'block' the sharp claws with her hands, but due to the fact that she had little or no actual physical power in her strikes, the best it would do is launch her into a rock or something and distract her long enough to get gutted by the beast.

The process repeated constantly, as neither rocks nor wood seemed to slow down the creature in the slightest… until by pure luck, a small outcrop managed to trip the mole for at most a couple of seconds. Wasting none of them, Hinata quickly reached into her pouch, took out a medium sized vial with some odd colored liquid, and swung her hand while using her chakra to shatter it and spray the contents into the beasts' claws, which had already gone up to block against whatever attack the girl had decided to use against him.

"Fuagh!" Kongen yelled in surprise and irritation as the foul smelling liquid ravaged his nose. Attacks to the eyes, he was used to. Being a mole, it was fairly common for an enemy to use a flash bomb in an attempt to hit his light sensitive eyeballs, but it wasn't often that the opponent had something that could actually attack his sense of smell in combat… well… other than when he kills a person and they crap themselves in their last few seconds, but by then it's usually too late. The smell was old and so deformed that he couldn't identify it, but it was nauseating and gave the impression that the summon was going to be spending a LONG time cleaning it off his claws, especially if he wanted to eat anytime soon. "You little runt!" He roared in irritation, his eyes tearing from the sheer power of the stench. "I'll kill you for that!"

Hinata smirked briefly. She wanted to use the vial on Sinō, but this could work as well. "Bring it on, smelly."

Almost immediately after Hinata yelled at him, Kiba's danger senses suddenly went on high alert, causing the boy and Akamaru to jump away to the side, just as the eldest fighter there appeared nearby. "Shit!" He grunted as he landed by his partner. "This isn't good, boy… we're better just trying to focus everything we have on dodging whatever this guy pumps out…" Akamaru barked in agreement.

Sinō seemed to take things in stride as he looked at Hinata fighting his summon. "That girl is quite talented. She can keep up with Kongen quite well… I've seen shinobi two and three times her age fall in his first attack, yet here she is, making him put some effort into finishing her off. It's almost a shame to kill her…"

"You are a sick fuck, you know that?" Kiba uttered darkly. "Going out of your way to kill a bunch of kids because one of their dads pissed you off…"

Sinō shook his head and sighed. "On the contrary. I dislike your village and your country. Killing you will harm them. While your Fourth indeed put a mighty stain on my home's history, I am not foolish enough to place the crimes of the father on the child." He began to make some seals. "I am merely taking care of a potential problem for Iwa before it has a chance to manifest…"

Kiba and Akamaru moved before the man's jutsu was even finished, moving in separate directions with animalistic speed as a field of spikes emerged where they once stood… however, their momentary taste of accomplishment was thrashed as a massive wall shot up between them, separating the Inuzuka pair. "Akamaru! Back away from the guy!" Kiba yelled in worry and concern as he tried to do the same… only to see another massive wall emerge perpendicular to the one made at the end, making a giant 'T' shaped wall that prevented them from retreating in that direction as well. "FUCK!"

"You make it sound as if I've never come across an Inuzuka before…" Sinō sighed and shook his head, turning to the copy of Kiba that didn't just shout out. "The divide and conquer tactic is so much more effective on your clan than you realize…" He muttered as he began to make seals…

"Doga (Earth Fang)!" Kiba roared as his body darkened and he spun in a drill like fashion into the offending wall…

Sinō snorted and shook his head as he finished another sequence of seals, creating another giant wall that shot up and enclosed the unnerved and confused Akamaru into a stone triangle prison. "An elemental variant of your clan's technique is impressive, boy… but it is not enough to break through my walls…" A similar wall appeared to entrap Kiba, despite the fact that the boy did not seem to notice or care in the first place. "It is simply your bad luck that I am aware how to fight beat your kind, boy." The man shook his head and made the final seals. "Doton…"

"Hijutsu! Orthrus!" Kiba's voice roared from inside the prison… from Akamaru's side, momentarily getting a frown from the general and making him jump back as a precaution… as the walls of the prison was blasted away under the brute force of a very large and very pissed 2 headed wolf. One head had dark fur and muscular while the other had red flowing fur that breathed out fire every time it exhaled. **"Don't count us out just yet, you old bastard…"** The dark head growled angrily at the man… just before a massive earth spike jutted out of the ground and impaled the massive beast.

"You waited too long…" Sinō frowned as he watched the 2 sets of shocked eyes close and the body go limp. Shaking his head disappointedly, the man spied the hole Kiba made in his wall. "The boy had potential… a shame he was from Konoha. I was almost interested in seeing how he would progress as he aged…" Sighing to himself, he turned to go assist his summons, who seemed to have yet lay a claw on the girl despite his skill and speed. "Such is life, I suppose…"

" **Tell me about it…"** Rumbled a deep voice from behind the general, giving him the only warning he would get before the entire area was embroiled in a massive fireball.

"Gah!" The eldest fighter grunted in pain as he erupted out of the flames, covered in minor burns and glaring at the massive wolf as it picked itself off of the spike without a wound to be seen. "How… I see…" He hissed as he covered himself in dust to smother the flames. "The earth element you channeled into that technique increases your defense…"

" **I played dead, old man… where's my treat?"** Kiba's warped voice chuckled darkly as the large beast walked forward, breathing heavily through both his mouth and nose. ' _That spike didn't pierce through, but I think it did break a couple of ribs…_ _Can't let him know, though. Doing any major attacks would be a real pain for us right now… plus, once this technique is over, Akamaru and I will just be sitting ducks… wait… that smell…'_

"I don't have any on me." Sinō frowned. Any suspicious moves he would make now would only cause the monstrosity in front of him to charge, and that was not a good thing, especially since he didn't really have a plan at this point. "I'll have to come up with something else instead. I'd be more worried about myself if I were you, boy. No doubt you cannot hold that technique up for long…"

The massive dog's heads smirked as it walked forward. **"You're right. The longer this fight lasts, the longer we're at a disadvantage…"** Sinō paled as he felt the oddly colored wolf's chakra spike dramatically."… **So we might as well go all out right now!"** The beast bolted forward and spun rapidly. **"Sōsei no Kiba** (Fang of the Created World) **!"** The Beast roared as it spun rapidly, turning into a massive dark red drill of fire and stone that shot straight at Sinō with incomparable speed and power. Due to the fact that they were so close to one another, the general barely had enough time to dodge out of the way of the main attack, and as such, he received several deep burns as the spinning drill was surrounded in extending and powerful flaming shockwaves that thrashed anything that wasn't in its direct path.

"Tch… you inexperienced fool…" The elder man growled as the drill curved in the air at an awkward angle. "I know about that branch of techniques. You need to hit me with the urine of your comrade in order to track my by smell. Without that, you are just fighting… blindly…" His eyes widened as he saw the drill heading not towards him, but towards where the other fight was. "No… unless… Kongen!" He roared in alarm.

Said summon was not in any state of mind to pay attention to his summoner, as he was attempting to maim the girl who had covered his claws, which he was very prideful about, in a foul smelling liquid, and was also unfortunately looking in the other direction of Kiba's attack as it barreled down upon him.

Hinata, on the other hand, saw full well what was going to happen, and a few seconds before she too would get caught in the attack… unleashed her Presence.

In a brief instant, the mole experienced the sensation of facing a lavender tinted silver sun bore down upon him from above. It was not an oppressive feeling, but the purity of the distant object he seemed to encounter was alien, yet so in tune with nature at the same time that it caused him to stall in fear, allowing his animalistic nature to get the better of him.

It was nowhere near as strong as Naruto's, Hana's or Anko's, let alone the Ōgakari's, but fortunately for her, animals in general seemed to be far, FAR more sensitive to Presence than humans were, much like they were more aware of other phenomena that happened on any planet and plane of existence. Expose them to a completely new sensation like that of Presence, when they have yet to experience anything like it before, and they would seize up for a short amount of time.

And that short amount of time was all Hinata needed to get out of the way and for Kiba to plow into the stunned mole with absolute prejudice for several dozen yards until the larger of the beasts stopped and the smaller of the two became a burning fireball that flew through the air and crashed through several pieces of rubble before exploding into smoke, no doubt returning back to where he came. The large 2 headed beast howled in victory before turning his attention back to Sinō. **"You've been holding out on us, Hinata…"** Kiba's voice laughed tightly. **"I didn't know you were able to use Presence too…"**

The Hyūga girl laughed lightly as she relaxed her stance. "After spending so much time with Naruto-kun, you should have expected me to, Kiba…" She frowned, her eyes never deactivating since the fight began. "Your ribs are broken…"

" **I can still fight…"** The Inuzuka growled in argument, taking a massive step forward, ignoring the massive amount of pain he and his partner experienced by doing so. **"This guy is a beast…"**

Hinata shook her head. "No. You will merely be a distraction at this point. If you perform another large scale attack like that again, you could do irreversible harm to your insides. Regroup with anyone who is done with their fight and get help. You've done enough. I can see you've done enough damage to slow him down… that is all I could hope for in our situation…" She frowned as she saw Sinō beginning to make seals. "He's starting to do jutsu again! Hurry!"

The massive wolf looked at her worriedly with both heads before growling and turning away. **"Damn it… if you die, Naruto's going to kill me…"** Kiba grumbled before running toward where he smelled most of their allies gathering nearby…

"Well, it's a good thing I won't…" The girl muttered as she jumped towards the man, making sure to keep the jewel necklace stored with chakra ready to trigger at a moment's notice. If another summon appeared, she would be ready this time and the creature would sure as hell know it, gentle girl be damned.

"You sure are a confident little girl, Hyūga. I see Kongen didn't even scratch you while you were preoccupied with him… a notable feat." Sinō frowned as he slowly flipped through his seals without stopping, causing the girl to be on edge.

"Kiba would have just been in the way in his condition. As for your summon… I've fought faster…" The girl stated coldly, as she blasted the man with several heaven bullets, only to watch as the more experienced fighter jumped out of the way without stopping his sequence.

The general snorted as he landed, only to jump away from several more chakra blasts. Despite his age, the man was clearly very fast. "I guessed that my attack back then actually did some damage to the boy after all. There is no way a fresh child like that could have endured one of my attacks without some form of injury. My only mistake was letting my guard down so soon…" He momentarily winced as the burns across his body flared up. "It will be a chore to kill you and the Namikaze, but I will manage…" He hardened his gaze and looked at the girl. "The odds of the members of your group being rather talented would be rather high as well… I don't agree with that sort of potential being in Konoha's hands…"

The girl looked at the man coldly. "Say what you will about me, but I will not let you near Naruto-kun or my friends. Even if you manage to beat me, there is no way you could possibly beat him…"

Sinō's gaze grew colder as he finished his seals. "As spoken by a child who has yet to know what true battle is like. I will end you and your friends here and now… for the sake of Iwa…" His chakra levels spiked to tremendous levels, causing Hinata to pale as she watched it all pour into the earth. "Doton. Sōseki no Kozui (Earth Style: Flood of Genesis)."

The earth around the man pulsed as if a massive heart had just beat, before all around the man, the ground rose to tremendous heights, drawing in the surrounding dirt like water. Hinata instantly began to run away as the ground beneath her began to suck her in the opposite direction, but the process was slow going, if it was effective at all. The girl didn't need to look back with her eyes active to see how large the massive wave was growing, easily reaching at least 40 meters in height, an immense elevation regardless of scale before it even began to look like it was going to move forward. Something of that size would easily kill anyone and anything that was unfortunate enough to get in its path.

 _'The others are in the direction I'm running in!'_ She thought frantically as she ran away from the gaining wave, fitting in as many shunshin as she could and attempting to find a hint of footing that wasn't being affected by the pull of the massive technique. ' _This jutsu is just getting too big! Everyone will get killed unless I do something!'_ She began to sweat as she continued to run, almost itching to use her extra source of chakra right there and then. ' _It's still not moving forward yet, only gaining power… but if it does act like a tsunami, once it does begin to move, the pull on the earth beneath me will finally stop… once that happens…'_

No sooner had Hinata even put the barest of a plan in her head together when her assumptions were realized and the earth beneath her stopped moving while the earth behind her proceeded forward…

Panting slightly and slowing to a stop before the massive wave, the girl grit her teeth and got herself into position, tapping into the massive ocean of chakra inside the jewel in her neck and letting the power flow into her body and out all of her tenketsu. "It's all or nothing… wish me luck, Naruto-kun…" The girl whispered as she focused her Presence and began to spin as fast as she could, causing everyone nearby to feel as if a second silvery sun had just appeared in the sky. "DAIOH KAITEN (Great King's Rotation)!" The girl roared as a massive dome made of pure chakra was formed to combat the even larger stone wave. No random blasts or slashes of chakra were made in this technique, as all the power was focused in the frame as it was put to the test when the two massive forces clashed with relentless fury. The offending wave hammered the dome in an attempt to overwhelm it, yet the spinning defensive technique gone overboard not only held strong, but threw away a good portion of the earth that made the attack to the side. Noise that could only be described as coming from an unimaginably large avalanche colliding with a huge wall, louder than the human ear could handle, echoed for miles as each technique fought for supremacy. The bright blue white rotation was so great that it actually had the mass and power to hold off the entirety of the wave heading in that direction.

Slowly however, the wave began to press forward. It did not push back the Hyūga's technique… however, what the dome did not block began to move on its own past the sides. The defensive technique did its job protecting its user, but it seemed to not be able to disrupt the wave in its entirety. The girl would be spared, but those behind her would still be in great danger regardless, even if the main force of the attack that would hit them had dissipated…

Yet Hinata would not let that happen. She saw what was happening with her Byakugan, and in a moment of pure determination and spontaneous thinking, just as the wave was half way past the dome… she tapped into even more chakra inside of the crystal, draining it so much that its seemingly limitless pools of energy began to wane, and pulsed the dome of her creation outwards so much that it disrupted the wave of stone to either side of her technique. The result of the sudden expansion of the dome was the utter shattering of the earth wave, breaking the attack prematurely and causing all the resulting debris to fall to the ground as gravity and disability won over chakra control, creating a massive long rumble echoed through the area.

Not even before the bulk of the dirt, trees, stones, and occasional dead bodies stopped falling, the dome began to recede in on itself, its user exhausting herself to her limits with that single technique to save herself and her comrades. Just as the earth technique settled down, so did Hinata, as her body became visible in the middle of the tremendous crater that she had made, stones and earth filling it in from all sides, and panting heavily on all fours. "I…" She gasped. "I did it…"

"Indeed…" Mused a deeper and clearly irritated voice from behind her, making her blood run cold. "You certainly did…"

Before the girl could get her tired body to even react, a spike of earth shot up from the ground and impaled the stunned Hyūga completely, lifting her into the air as if she was some kind of weightless doll and giving her a full view of the man that had killed her as he walked in front of her, panting and sweating a fair amount. "Y-you…" She gasped out as blood exited her mouth in floods.

"I was surprised by your conviction, girl…" Sinō breathed out haggardly. "You made me waste a majority of my chakra for minimal results… however, at least it did its job in severely weakening you to the point where I could at least finish you off." He took out his Black Book again and looked at the page she was on. "This book listed you as a B-ranked threat…" He spat to the side irritably. "Fools. You were clearly an A-ranked… and your Inuzuka comrade was the high B-rank. As soon as I recover and kill that boy, I will end the fool that put me on this suicidal task." He shook his head and snapped the book closed again. "Regardless, I will at least inform the underground community of your potential, girl. Rest easy knowing that your potential will be known to the world…" He paused as he watched Hinata shakily raise her hand and attempt to gather chakra to it. "Humph… fighting right to the end… how…"

He couldn't finish his sentence as one of his lungs had suddenly ruptured and filled with blood, courtesy of another Hinata standing right behind him.

"Shadow clones…" Panted the second Hinata as she pulled back her hand from the man's back and the impaled version of herself exploded into smoke. "I can see why Naruto-kun loves using them so much…"

The general couldn't respond as he threw up what seemed like a gallon of blood, only to reel in more pain as the Hyūga girl relentlessly jabbed at his chakra points in his arms and legs until he collapsed to the ground, unable to move in the slightest. "What!" He vomited more blood to the side. "How… you…?" He couldn't speak properly unless he wanted to drown in his own crimson bodily fluids.

"I've found that it's very difficult to see what's happening inside of a Kaiten while chakra is still rotating around the user, sensor or not." Hinata panted with a tired smile. "With my Daioh Kaiten, the dome would last a while before it would clear up. I simply made a clone and used a transformation technique to look like one of the rocks that was falling inside this crater here. I'm surprised you didn't notice…"

"Chakra… too much!" The man coughed out more blood, wheezing heavily and exhaling more red fluid with each breath.

The girl smiled faintly as her eyes turned off, confident that she had incapacitated the real general. "Sorry. That's a secret." She shrugged before breathing slowly and getting herself under control again and making a clone. "Try anything suspicious and my clone will kill you. You have a lot to explain. My friends and I will take you back to Konoha for interrogation…if you live." She let her words hang in the air before turning to where she knew her allies were and ran at a slow but brisk pace without seeing how he responded to her warning.

Something about the man's words didn't feel right with her. It sounded as if he was convinced to kill Naruto, something that did not bode well at all…

Leaping over another mound of earth, the girl landed in front of a sight that made her completely forget about her suspicions though…

Lying strewn in front of her in broken, bloody heaps were Kin, Kiba, Lee, Ino, and Sai, all covered in injuries that all but prevented them from moving. It was a wonder how they were conscious at all… let alone alive…

Yet above them all, making her blood freeze the most, was the sight of a massive man covered in blood red armor, standing and holding the struggling and screaming Neji by his head in his left hand…

And his thumb deeply embedded in the boy's bleeding eye socket…

"Where's Namikaze?"

o. o. o.

Current character stats:

Team 7:

Naruto Uzumaki:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 4

Genjutsu: 2.5

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 3.5

Speed: 3.5

Stamina: 5

Seals: 3

Total: 30.5

Sakura Haruno:

Ninjutsu: 3.5

Taijutsu: 3.5

Genjutsu: 4.5

Intelligence: 4.5

Strength (unaugmented): 2.5

Speed: 2.5

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 4.5

Total: 28

Sasuke Uchiha:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 3.5

Genjutsu: 2.5

Intelligence: 3

Strength: 3

Speed: 4

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 3

Total: 26.5

Team 8:

Hinata Hyūga:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 4.5

Genjutsu: 3

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 2

Speed: 3.5

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 3.5

Total: 27

Shino Aburame:

Ninjutsu: 3.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 2.5

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 2.5

Speed: 3

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 2

Total: 23.5

Kiba Inuzuka:

Ninjutsu: 3.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 2

Strength: 3.5

Speed: 4

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 2

Total: 21.5

Team 10:

Shikamaru Nara:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 2

Genjutsu: 3

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 2

Speed: 3.5

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 4

Total: 28

Ino Yamanaka:

Ninjutsu: 3

Taijutsu: 2.5

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 3

Speed: 3

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 2.5

Total: 22

Chōji Akimichi:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 2

Strength: 4

Speed: 2

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 3

Total: 22.5

Team Gai:

Neji Hyūga:

Ninjutsu: 3.5

Taijutsu: 4.5

Genjutsu: 2.5

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 2.5

Speed: 4

Stamina: 3

Seals: 3.5

Total: 27

Lee Rock:

Ninjutsu: 1

Taijutsu: 4

Genjutsu: 1

Intelligence: 2

Strength: 4

Speed: 4.5

Stamina: 4.5

Seals: 2

Total: 23

Tenten Higurashi:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 4

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 3

Strength: 2.5

Speed: 3.5

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 2

Total: 23.5

Other notable younger Konoha Shinobi:

Haku:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 2.5

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 2

Speed: 4

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 5

Total: 27

Kin Tsuchi:

Ninjutsu: 2

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 4

Intelligence: 2.5

Strength: 3

Speed: 2.5

Stamina: 2

Seals: 2

Total: 21

Sai:

Ninjutsu: 3.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 2.5

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 2

Speed: 3

Stamina: 2.5

Seals: 3

Total: 23

Suna triplets:

Gaara:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 2

Genjutsu: 3.5

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 2

Speed: 3

Stamina: 5

Seals: 4.5

Total: 29

Temari:

Ninjutsu: 4.5

Taijutsu: 3

Genjutsu: 1.5

Intelligence: 3.5

Strength: 3.5

Speed: 2.5

Stamina: 3

Seals: 3

Total: 24.5

Kankurō:

Ninjutsu: 4

Taijutsu: 2.5

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 4

Strength: 3

Speed: 2

Stamina: 3.5

Seals: 4

Total: 25

Ōgakari (as they fight in public):

Ghost:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 5

Genjutsu: 4

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 2.5

Speed: 5

Stamina: 5

Seals: 5

Total: 36.5

Shadow:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 5

Genjutsu: 3.5

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 4

Speed: 4.5

Stamina: 5

Seals: 4.5

Total: 36.5

Scabbard:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 4

Genjutsu: 4

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 3.5

Speed: 3.5

Stamina: 5

Seals: 5

Total: 35

Waltz:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 5

Genjutsu: 3

Intelligence: 5

Strength: 5

Speed: 4

Stamina: 5

Seals: 4

Total: 36

Crypt:

Ninjutsu: 5

Taijutsu: 4.5

Genjutsu: 2

Intelligence: 1.5

Strength: 4.5

Speed: 4.5

Stamina: 4.5

Seals: 5

Total: 31.5

Yeah… that's a long read. So… any requests?

o. o. o.

A/N:

Ugh. Too much fighting. I don't care if it ended quickly. I just want this chapter over with.

Personal goal: 50 review per chapter average. Currently, really close to 49 review per chapter.

So yeah. Lots of killing, tricks, techniques, and so on. And YES, Neji's eye is truly gone and gouged out. The next chap won't come out until Han truly does FINALLY fight in the manga.

So yeah. Going to sleep now. Dark Souls is killing my free time almost as much as it's killing me… heh…

So Review! Worship the Log! Trade with Snuggly the Crow! And Review again!


	72. And now by popular demand, major mutual high level ass kicking! Hail to the king and drown in the epicness!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 72: And now by popular demand, major mutual high level ass kicking! Hail to the king and drown in the epicness!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" Naruto swore constantly as he ran towards where he sensed most of his teammate's drastically fading signatures. He knew it was a risky move to let his team handle the stragglers. He knew there was a chance that things could go bad. He knew that his luck had a tendency to skin half his body at the worst times on these missions. But damn it, he didn't expect someone with enough chakra to rival him to just appear out of fucking NOWHERE and start tearing apart his team! Everyone other than Hinata was so injured that they could barely be detected, and Hinata's was fading so fast that it wouldn't take long for her to match their situation. It didn't help him that the girl had frantically tried to contact him over the radio for help, stammering Neji's name several times before a loud noise had drowned out her voice and the link went silent.

There were so many of his friends falling so quickly. He didn't know if some were alive or not. His fear was beginning to spike as he ran as fast as he could…

It was almost like the final battle against Madara all over again…

" _Naruto! Calm down!"_ Minato's voice shouted to him from his subconscious. _"If you panic too much, you won't be able to figure out a way to help them in the first place!"_

"I know that, damn it, but I'm not close enough to tell where everyone is physically!" The boy growled, not even bothering to make sure he only thought what he said.

" ** _Running and panicking are unrelated things, you idiot…"_** The Kyūbi's voice echoed almost condescendingly. **_"Even if you come across something that will make you do something foolish, don't let your stupid human emotions get the better of your judgment and priorities like every other fool on the planet. That will only make you regress into the child that you once were and run in screaming nonsense."_** A dark chuckle was heard.

**_"Remember what that irrational immortal told you. It's easier to think of ways to torture your opponents horrifically when you are lucid. You humans may be weak and pathetic, but one of the few things that I am somewhat envious of you is your ingenuity when it comes to inflicting pain onto others. Your tools and knowledge of anatomy is something I am obviously unable to exploit due to our size difference… though my chakra's effect on your kind makes up for it for the most part… perhaps you could consider using it to make your unknown target suffer before killing him…"_ **

"If this prick went too far, Kyūbi… I'll let you even choose how long to let him stew in your juices… that is, after I maim the bastard so that he'd never be a functioning member of society again, of course…" The blonde growled darkly, shocking his parents significantly on how willing Naruto was willing to torture another person.

" _Naruto! Where did that come from?"_ Kushina asked in surprise. _"You're normally more in control of yourself than this!"_

The blonde teen bit his lips so hard that he drew blood. "… This isn't the first time things have been like this for me…" Brief flashes of a wasted plot of land littered with bodies and wounded allies filled his mind. "This is just… like the last fight against Madara… all over again…"

" _What?"_ Minato asked both in shock and realization. _"Naruto… what happened?"_

The blonde grit his teeth. "We were doing well and holding our own against Akatsuki when Danzō betrayed us. You guys know that much… but I was the last one to get captured." Flashes of the event passed through his mind. "I had a good shot at killing Kabuto and Zetsu at once when Madara showed up with a bunch of ROOT agents holding everyone at knifepoint. I… couldn't do anything at the time." He lowered his head in shame. "They yelled at me to keep fighting, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk having them die in front of me like Hinata-chan almost did when Nagato attacked… so I turned myself in…" He sighed. "To be honest, I was thinking that I could manage to pull something off during the extraction process at the last moment like I normally am able to do since it took so long… but well… I couldn't, and that's when Ero-nii showed up."

" _This time is different, though…"_ Minato's voice warned and commented hesitantly. _"Your enemy doesn't want to capture you… they want to kill you, and odds are they'll use as many dirty tricks as possible to do it…"_

"And my friends unfortunately qualify as a means to a trick." The blonde muttered darkly. "There's no time to summon someone or let you guys out to help either…" He breathed out slowly. "Mom. Dad. Go over with me all the fast tricks that I can pull off that can catch people off guard when I'm standing in front of them… Even if I can't remember them all… it will help distract me from jumping in to kill this bastard the moment I see him…"

o. o. o.

Hinata yelled in pain as she took another glancing blow from Han and crashed into another pile of rubble.

"Heh… Namikaze better show up soon, girl…" Han laughed maliciously as he pulled back his free arm, his other one still holding onto Neji, albeit now his grasp was now on the boy's clothes in order to make sure he didn't die… just yet, at least. "I don't think you'll be able to protect your worthless little friends for much longer…" He started to walk casually to Ino, who was trying her hardest to crawl away despite having one of her legs and a hand broken, meaning she couldn't move or use any ninjutsu. "Although… I wouldn't be surprised if he was just some coward and ran away like a smart man. Even a fool can tell I'm strong… and only an idiot would sacrifice his life for others…"

Hinata grimaced as she slowly picked herself up, despite the protests in her body. One of her arms was broken in 3 places, and a few of her ribs were in just as bad shape. So many of her other body parts were bruised that she didn't even bother to keep tabs on them. This… monster's physical strength was inhuman. Even though she managed to somehow prevent herself and her friends from getting hit directly each time the man attempted to finish them off, she still wound up feeling as if she was hit with a sledgehammer. "Naruto-kun… will come…" She hissed as she began to move in order to get Ino out of the way. "He's not… a coward…"

The man in red armor snorted. "Suit yourself, girl. I'll just keep on killing time playing around with you and your little friends until he shows up… or you all die. I can do either one…" His eyes, which were the only visible part of his face, leered in a way that meant that he was smiling cruelly. Moving far faster than before, he rushed to Ino and stomped his foot down, causing the earth to rumble and explode from underneath her. "Though I would prefer if I got to do both…" He mused as he turned a small bit to see Hinata panting a fair distance away with Ino in her arms. "I am somewhat impressed that you lasted this long though, girl. Most cowards would have abandoned their teammates by now… you're pretty quick too…" He turned to Lee's direction. Unlike most of the other shinobi there, the boy green wonder was completely unconscious, being that he was unfortunately the first one to be caught off guard by the man's attack and thus took the most damage. A very brief look at the boy's insides told Hinata that he had several broken ribs, a broken arm and leg, a minor concussion and a fractured skull. It was nothing life threatening as of yet, but needless to say, he would not be able to get back up soon. "Humph. Konoha shinobi are just hypocrites, preaching about comradeship and all that weak shit. Sooner or later, everyone betrays everyone else…"

"You're… wrong…" A third voice grunted, causing Han to look at the boy whose eye he had gouged out several minutes earlier. Glaring back at him with his one good eye, Neji grit his teeth and gripped the man's arm as much as possible. "We… won't sell out our friends… ever…" He panted. Even breathing was almost too much, as the damage to his body and eye threatened to make him pass out due to the pain, let alone channeling chakra and attempting to escape somehow.

"… Is that so?" Han mused almost curiously, causing a small lull in the tension there… before suddenly slamming Neji down into the ground so hard that it cracked, stunning everyone watching. The boy in question opened his mouth and opened both his eyelids in a silent scream that was heard by everyone there as blood shot from his mouth before he passed out due to the pain and damage. "How pathetically predictable and dull…" The attacker grunted in disappointment.

"Neji!" Hinata yelled, temporarily forgetting the horrible condition she herself was in and attempted to run to help her cousin. She moved as fast as she could in an attempt to help him, but was interrupted by a powerful kick to her stomach that launched her into an upturned boulder. Like with Neji, the impact caused the stone behind her to break. Unlike her cousin, she had somehow managed to retain her consciousness as she collapsed to the ground… though it did her little good, as she was unable to move with the new damage she had sustained. "Wh-why?" She coughed up blood and hazily looked at the man in front of her.

Han snorted as he walked to the girl with Neji still in hand. "Humph. Brats are so ignorant these days. I already told you. I want to kill Namikaze's son. It's as simple as that. If you had had all just shut up or pleaded for a quick death, I may have given it to you… but now I'm just going to draw this out, maybe cause a slow fatal wound for one of you when he gets here… if one of you lasts that long, at least…" He walked to Hinata, clearly not amused with the girl anymore as he suddenly stopped and looked down to see several black snakes wrapped around his legs. "Hm… well at least one of you actually has some fight left in him…" The jinchūriki snorted before scalding hot steam shot out from his armor's plates and burned away the ink constructs. "It won't change anything, but at least it makes things less dull…"

"Damn…" Sai grit his teeth as he slowly attempted to draw another construct, which was harder to do than he thought given one of his arms was broken and the other was dislocated. Out of the shinobi there, he was the only one that was capable of buying time. Ino couldn't use any jutsu; Kiba, Lee and now Neji were unconscious; Kin's techniques were near useless unless she had the time to set things up and could manage to get to a solid hiding spot in time, and Hinata was on her last legs. The boy was still a bit hesitant to admit it, but he was actually rather attached to his teammates and his newfound… friends. They were not only rather convenient to have around for missions and in terms of strategies, but they also somehow managed to make life seem worthwhile and enjoyable, breaking his earlier monotony of mission after mission like he was a machine. Granted, he still killed people on occasion, but now at least he could say that he somewhat enjoyed doing what he did…

Still, if by some miracle everyone managed to get out of this situation alive, he would advise Danzō-sama to not put any ROOT members on the same team as Uzumaki for high level missions unless they were exceptionally skilled… or if they were expendable.

"That's a pretty interesting technique you have there, kid…" Han's deep voice rumbled, snapping Sai out of his focus as he looked up and saw the monstrous man a few feet in front of him. An instant later, the boy screamed out in pain as the man's foot crushed his hand. "Too bad it annoyed me more than it made me curious."

"Sai!" Ino shouted, holding her chest in pain and watching helplessly as Han lazily punted the boy a fair distance away. "Damn it!"

"Humph…" Han grunted as he looked around. Out of all the kids he had trounced, only Hinata had been able to last a while, but even she was down for the count now. "Well, this was boring. I guess only Namikaze is actually capable of putting up a fight." He lifted up the unconscious Neji in his occupied hand and pulled back his fist. "Might as well get rid of the brats no-"

Before he finished his sentence, a massive oppressive sensation washed across the entire area, catching the attention of everyone conscious there. It was enraged. It was murderous. It was everywhere. It was… unnervingly calm.

"He's… here…" Hinata breathed out in relief as she wavered between consciousness and unconsciousness, turning her head to the direction of the source of the sensation...

A small distance away from the group was a single figure, standing casually amid the upturned rubble. His hands were at his sides and his fingers were loose. His stance indicated that he did not seem like he was going to move any time soon… However, his head delivered a different message entirely. His slightly long blond hair was hanging over the front of his face, overshadowing it, covering his eyes… or they would be, if his eyes weren't glowing a cold and murderous blue. The remaining part of his face was otherwise so impassive and emotionless that it might have been a mask.

"Oh?" Han chuckled as he lowered Neji slowly, paying attention to Naruto. "That's a fairly decent killing intent for a kid…" The two stared at one another for what seemed like minutes. Han appeared to be sizing the boy up from the look in his eyes… but Naruto's only displayed his cold anger. The elder of the two broke the silence first by chuckling. "Heh… a quiet one, aren't you?"

The space between them was quiet once more for several seconds… before Han suddenly pulled back his free fist and threw a killing punch at the crippled boy that was still in his grip… and was suddenly surprised by the clone the blonde had made in the air when everyone was distracted by his Presence punching Han in the head with an earth element enforced fist that forced him to let Neji go and distract him from everything around him.

At the moment of contact, the blonde silently and motionlessly made several dozen clones and wordlessly made them rapidly replace themselves all over the area in rapid succession to get to his downed team almost instantly, causing an illusion that he was appearing everywhere at once. In a matter of seconds, not only had he managed to secure his friends, but he had managed to recover them and return them to his side while surrounding the enemy with the extra clones, who stood ready to fight in an instant.

By the time Han had recovered from the attack and destroyed the clone, all of his victims were already out of his reach and being carried by copies of the blonde that were all standing next to the original, who had not moved an inch. "What the hell?" He grunted as he stood up and looked at all the clones around him. "Hiraishin?"

Naruto didn't say anything as he looked at the condition of his teammates. Broken limbs. Bleeding. Knocked unconscious. Each and every wound passed by the boy's gaze was registered and taken in stride… until he saw Neji's eye gouged out. His eyes flashed in surprise and shock before they calmed down again and he turned to Hinata and Ino. "I'll hold him off. Treat one another before getting to everyone else. My clones will give you chakra if you run low." He began to walk forward and focused on Han again. "I'll handle him…"

"You took your damn time…" Ino grunted, not at all caring at the fact that she was being carried bridal style.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata feebly protested. "Be careful… he's…"

"I know who he is." The boy stated emotionlessly. "…And I couldn't care less right now."

Before Hinata or Ino could respond to the boy's statement, the clones carrying them turned and jumped away, followed by an additional dozen clones for protection.

"Not bad, kid…" Han chuckled as he watched his victims escaping, steam erupting from his armor in greater amounts as he crouched down into a starting position. "But you're going to have to come up with something bigger than some weak punch in order to stop me from finishing them off!" He bolted forward after them with surprisingly high speed, with Naruto standing in the middle. If Naruto moved, he risked his friends' lives. If he didn't, he risked his own…

The boy didn't even flinch as he clasped his hands together in front of his body and pointed his arms at the rapidly approaching Han. "Fūton: Satsubatsu Reppū (Wind Style: Feral Gale)." Dozens if not hundreds of massive runed wind blades spawned and erupted from the boy's arms in all directions save for their maker's. They all grew and twisted at an impossible pace towards Han's general direction, creating a massive oncoming wall of shredding chakra blades that relentlessly lacerated and minced everything in their path.

"…What the fuck?" The man frowned in mild concern as he and the tsunami of semi-transparent blades converged on one another before the smaller of the two forces disappeared in the onslaught.

Naruto blinked for a moment as he realized that the man had charged head first into his attack before he twisted his arms sideways, rotating all the blades attached to his arms a full 90 degrees and further assaulting anything that was unfortunate enough to be caught inside before separating his arms, forcing his attack to split in half, with blades scissoring one another countless times to further desecrate anything trapped in the attack…

… and reveal Han, standing a small distance away among a plot of land that was cut up to kingdom come, with his arms positioned in front of his body to defend himself and several deep cuts across his armor that wept small rivers of blood… but still clearly in fighting shape. "… I figured that wouldn't work…" He muttered under his breath.

"Not bad, brat… you actually got through my armor." Han grunted as he lowered his arms and glared at Naruto murderously. "I guess being Namikaze's little shit made you some kind of special prodigy, too…" Steam began to burst from the joints and holes of his armor, causing the man's form to become hazy… however, Naruto could make out the cuts in the armor slowly melding and repairing itself. "But too bad for you weak shit like that isn't going to be enough to beat me… my chakra metal armor can repair itself so long as I give it energy."

The man's declaration was cut short when half of the clones that Naruto had set up around the area jumped him at once from all sides. Each one came at the jinchūriki with their talons enforced with either wind or earth chakra, all intent on crippling their target, who in response generated even more steam from his suit and clenched his fists.

The first clones to be defeated were the ones right behind the man as a massive explosion of scalding water blasted out of the furnace on Han's back, taking out everything that could even be considered to be behind him. The first clone that got close to him from the man's right side attempted to use an earth talon enforced fist to punch his target, but he was grabbed out of midair in an instant. Before he could even respond, he was swung like a club to intercept several clones coming in from his other side.

The moment Han's back was facing the other group of clones, he sent out another massive pulse of steam. While this cloud was not offensive enough to dispel the squad of clones in that direction, it did stall and disorient them long enough for the monstrous man to turn around again and charge into their group with blinding speed and dispel them manually with his equally monstrous limbs. Turning around yet another time, the man he observed the remaining cluster of clones spreading out, no doubt trying to avoid getting destroyed at once like the majority of their counterparts. He growled as the plates of armor on his arms shifted up to reveal several narrow nozzles hidden underneath and shot out a narrow but absurdly strong spray of heavy steam in a wide arc that surprised and took out the remaining clones before they could react.

The larger man quickly shifted his attention to where the original Naruto had been standing… to see that the boy had yet to move or change his demeanor in the slightest, looking at him impassively with enraged slit blue eyes. Instead of rushing, however, Han looked around warily. The boy's use of clones so far indicated that he was fairly experienced using them, so he wouldn't be surprised if the one in front of him was another clone or there were more copies hiding elsewhere setting up a trap. Regardless, the way the boy was seemingly still just there didn't make him feel any less irritated.

"Is that the best you have, brat?" He growled as he relaxed his stance and returned the nozzles back to their compact position. "A few clones and some wind jutsu? You might as well let me kill you now!" He taunted pompously before charging at the original, steam blasting from his armor to increase his speed enough to put almost any shinobi on edge. He smirked as he watched the stupid boy flinch and of all things attempt to jump right over him just before he was on top of his prey. In response, the man once more poured chakra into the furnace on his back and caused an eruption of scalding hot steam to blast behind him, confident that he would sear the boy's skin off with the maneuver like he had done with many others…

Only to be momentarily surprised when he felt the boy suddenly change directions in midair without any warning and land to his side instead of behind him, avoiding the attack completely and just as suddenly bolting forward with his arms turning into a single version of those unnaturally developed wind blades he had encountered earlier. Frowning, the man quickly executed a steam boosted shunshin to position himself to the boy's back right side with his right arm cocked back and moving to cave his skull in, only to miss as once more the boy moved forward at the last moment, without anything to indicate he was about to do it beforehand. Looking up, Han saw that the boy's blades were gone, his free hands were making seals at a fast pace, and he was sucking in air. Without even thinking about it, the man forced the steam in his armor to one side and used his element as a jet to push him out of the boy's line of fire just as a drilling blast of air tore through the area that he had occupied just moments before and eviscerated the broken trees and upturned stones that was in its path.

Han took no notice of whatever had unfortunately been caught in the blast as he charged at the boy again, now getting frustrated that he was having such trouble taking down a kid less than half his age. "Cocky little shit!" He growled as he moved towards the boy even faster now and thrust out his leg in to deliver a powerful kick, only to once more miss as his target this time sunk into the ground as if it was water. "The hell I'm letting you get away that easily!" He roared as he made several seals. "Yugeton! Yakedo Chikara-sen! (Steam Art! Scalding Leylines)!" He roared as he slammed his hands onto the ground.

Very rapidly, the ground beneath and around the man began to shake and shift before several points around him blasted up in protest, yielding hundreds upon thousands of gallons of boiling water that shot into the air like pillars, one of them carrying a screaming blonde boy with them until the small body flew away from the blast and landed hard on the ground nearby.

"You stupid brat. I'm from Iwa, and you expect me to not know how to deal with techniques that let my opponents travel underground?" Han shook his head as he walked up to the downed blonde, who was gasping for air and covered in burns. "And here I thought you were actually talented…" A flick of his wrist produced a kunai that was stashed in a slit in his armor, and another flick embedded the metal into the squirming boy's neck… and caused him to disappear. Han grunted, not surprised at all and began to look around. "Humph. You should have at least made that setup a bit more believable, brat." He turned to look at the blonde standing a fair distance away from him, in the same casual stance he had been in when they first saw one another and exerting the same pressure as he had been before as well.

The blonde didn't say anything at first as he examined Han skeptically before snorting and shaking his head. "How pathetic…"

Han's face scrunched in confusion and anger. "What was that?"

"I heard that the Gobi was technically the most intelligent of the 9 bijū." Naruto stated casually. "It must be embarrassing to have such a beast sealed inside a coward that relies completely on his armor's abilities. Even the Ichibi's container has more diversity than you do…" He chuckled condescendingly. "I wonder what it must be like to be upstaged by an insane Tanuki."

Han grimaced as his bijū raged from inside of him. No doubt enraged that the insane raccoon-dog was being put on a higher pedestal than itself. If there was one thing that could be consistent among the non-tamed and sane bijū, it would be their hubris.

" ** _Heheh…"_** Kyūbi chuckled from inside Naruto. **_"That must have put a huge dent in Gobi's pride. He was always proud of his intelligence… and he looked down on the Ichibi in particular. To be put beneath the insane rat in any subject would cause him to lose control of himself… such a fool…"_**

" _Didn't you claim to do the same thing to the Ichibi just as much, though?"_ Kushina asked skeptically with an eyebrow raised.

The Kyūbi snorted. **_"Humph. I am the most powerful of all the bijū. I do not lose myself over such pitiful insults. I simply torture and kill anyone who makes them… besides, it was not uncommon for any of us to make fun of Shukaku at any time."_**

Kushina and Minato looked at one another skeptically before looking at the bijū with the same expression, all but saying that he was just as bad as the one he was insulting.

On the outside, Naruto waited for Han to regain control of himself and was rewarded a few moments later as the man raised his head, revealing his shadowed and enraged eyes from underneath the armored straw style hat. "You have no idea what kind of hell you just put yourself into, brat. I was simply going to kill you…" He began to make some seals. "But now Gobi and I are going to put you through a hell that will make you wish you were in the real thing…"

"… You must really be confident and proud of that armor of yours, then." Naruto tilted his head to the side. "… I guess I only have one thing to say…"

A hand shot out from the earth and grabbed onto Han's left foot from behind, soon followed by a clone of Naruto's, surprising the man immensely.

Naruto of course knew that Han had a way to counter opponents that traveled underground. Like the man said, he was from Iwa. It would have been ignorant to assume he didn't. What he had counted on was the fact that the man would assume that he wouldn't try to use the same technique again so soon after showing that it failed completely. Most of the time, using a tactic that had been proven to fail once before on a high level opponent was a suicidal move, but if said tactic was hard to detect and notice in the first place, then it could be still used effectively if something else had the foe's attention. In this case, it was a combination of the man's assumption that Naruto wouldn't use it again, combined with the boy's Presence masking any possibility that the fellow jinchūriki could pick up the clone's movement underground.

Time seemed to slow down for Han as he slowly turned in shock to look at what had grabbed him and took in the view. Grabbing the back of his left foot was another copy of the boy. In the smirking clone's free hand, painfully slowly shooting up towards the jinchūriki's backside, was a kunai with an exploding tag wrapped around the handle.

"Two for two." The blonde donned a small smirk as the kunai punctured the man's backside and a massive explosion rocked the area with a large shockwave…

o. o. o.

In Suna:

Gaara froze in place as he was about to sit down at the new restaurant that his sister and brother had taken him to for the evening.

"Hm?" Kankurō blinked as he saw his brother hesitate getting into the stall. "What's wrong, Gaara?"

The red head remained silent for several seconds before straightening up. "… I… am going to use my sand to support myself for this meal…" He said hesitantly, getting confusing looks from his siblings.

"Is something wrong?" Temari raised an eyebrow.

"I would prefer if no one asked me about my reasons for doing so…" The boy stated plainly and proceeded to move to the side of the table and used his sand to keep his body in the sitting position… however, none of the coarse material moved to his backside and instead supported his thighs and back as if he was in a seatless chair.

Kankurō snorted. "What's the matter? Something crawl up your butt?" He chuckled a small amount before squeaking in fear as a healthy (or unhealthy, in Kankurō's honest opinion) amount of sand wrapped around his legs.

"I would prefer if no one asked me about my reasons for doing so." Gaara repeated in a tighter tone that clearly indicated that he would torture anyone that pressed the subject any further.

"Got it!" The middle child replied in a high pitched tone, sweating as the pressure of the sand left his legs.

"Can we have some menus please?!" Temari shouted in a somewhat panicky tone, praying that Gaara's relapse would go away as he was distracted by what he wanted to order for dinner.

Gaara looked at both his siblings momentarily before closing his eyes and crossing his arms. He didn't know why, but he had the distinct impression that Naruto was behind the sudden ghost pain in his rear end that had suddenly flared up…

o. o. o.

Back with the plot:

Naruto waited patiently as the cloud of smoke dispersed slowly, making a few dozen more clones around the area for him to replace himself with should he need a quick escape or ambush point. He knew that the tag wouldn't be enough to beat Han. He didn't expect it to. It had two other goals: to create some permanent damage to the man's annoying armor, and to humiliate the man to make him loose his cool. Of course, the tag would do some damage to him as well… but odds were likely that, just like when he did it with Gaara, this would push the man over the edge and cause him to start using his bijū's power…

And Naruto would try to take him down without his.

It was a selfish and rather risky thing to do, he would admit, fighting a jinchūriki in a bijū state without using Sage Mode or his own bijū's powers… but if he ever would get a shot at testing how far he has gotten with his training in a real world situation, this would be it. No limitations. No political lines. No underlying motives. Just two freaks of nature that really, really want to kill and/or maim one another. If he was really pressed, he would probably use Sage Mode or the Kyūbi's chakra to finish the bastard off… but not before he managed to do as much damage as he possibly could in his current state. He would later use what he learned to train himself in what he needed the most.

Quick. Simple. Borderline suicidal. Just like most of his plans.

Naruto didn't have to wait long, as a roar of anger and rage echoed in the air and he sensed a massive spike of chakra from the cloud. Moments later, a small shockwave was unleashed and cleared the smoke to reveal Han, hunched over and covered in a chakra shroud with one tail revealed. His armor from his waist down was completely trashed, but the steam furnace on his back was still intact, unfortunately. **"Namikazeeeee!"** The man roared bestially while glaring at the boy with bloodshot eyes.

The blonde frowned as he took in the massive amount of tainted energy in front of him with some apprehension. Was this what his friends and enemies had experienced whenever he had lost control in the past? Only one tail exerted this much pressure onto a person's body… true, he had experienced far heavier pressures in the past… hell, he fought the Sanbi face to face not even a couple of months ago and the Ichibi during his first run through of the Chūnin Exams back when he didn't really know what the fuck he was doing half the time… but this was his first time that a shroud was being used against him in human form. It was… unnatural. "Just for the record, my name is Naruto Uzumaki. Not Namikaze."

Despite his personal thoughts on Akatsuki, he had to give them credit. It took major balls to do what they did almost easily.

The blonde's musings were cut short as Han's glowing frame bolted from his starting position straight at him. The demonic man's arm drawn back, ready to tear Naruto to pieces. He was moving too fast to dodge or run away from. He was attacking without hesitation. He was aiming to kill the boy… and he was too into his bloodlust to have enough control to change his course if something unexpected happened.

A massive cloud erupted as the man's claw ravaged the earth and threw up dust, impaling Naruto to the ground in front of his upturned eyes… only for the boy to explode moments later and violently throw the man back through some debris. Despite the force of the attack, the man managed to land on his feet unsteadily, his damaged and scratched physical armor already recovering from the blow.

"You're pretty fast…" The boy's calm voice stated from the man's side, causing Han to turn and see Naruto standing casually and inspecting his nails… before disappearing in an instant. "I mean, you were pretty quick before, but with your shroud, you're really on a level that I can't keep up by normal means." Han turned again to his other side to see the boy in the same exact position without a care in the world… only for the boy to disappear again. However, this time Naruto didn't wait for Han to find him as he repeated his disappearing and reappearing act around his target, gradually picking up the pace. "But then again, I'm not one that's known for using normal means to begin with… and neither is my master. No offence, but compared to him, you might as well be walking…" His confident voice echoed from multiple directions at once as his body's image was seen all around the stunned and enraged man. "And because of that... you cannot surprise me simply by relying on that level of speed."

" **Hiraishin…"** Han repeated, dumbfounded as he tried to keep up with the boy's movements. **"… no… replacement…"** His voice grew raspy and irritated at the discovery. **"You… dare… mock me with some cheap imitation, you brat?"** His ranting was cut short as a blast of wind from nowhere hammered him from his side. It didn't get through the demonic chakra, but it still stung.

Naruto merely chuckled darkly as his image continued to blur and phase in and out of view all around the man. Unblinking glowing blue eyes continued to glare at the man from all angles, while at the same time, the previously emotionless face had donned an almost mocking smirk. It had gotten to the point where it was impossible for Han to look in any direction without seeing at least a few images of the boy coming into or out of view at any time... and it was only getting worse as the seconds rolled on. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. All hail the log." He replied simply as several Atsugai flew in at the man from multiple angles from the ring of clones.

In a show of animalistic agility and speed that defied the fact that he was wearing heavy armor, Han dodged, evaded, and weaved around all the offending blasts of wind with almost unnatural ease before thrusting one of his arms out and forcing his shroud of chakra to extend and assault a section of the ring of blondes that had been the source of several of the attacks. Much like when Naruto had used it against Sasuke in the Valley of the End, the red claw grew larger and larger before rending at the ground without hesitation or restraint, destroying any images of Naruto that were there.

Unfortunately for Han, the maneuver didn't do anything, as the remaining section of the circle did not flicker in the slightest and even increased in frequency… and in threat, as double the number of violent wind blasts charged at him and his shrouded arm, intent on battering and shredding him to kingdom come. "Nice try…" Naruto's disembodied voice chuckled from all around the man mockingly. "But you didn't hit me that time…"

" **This boy isn't normal… he has too much chakra to be able to keep all this up and still be fooling around…"** Han irritably growled as he realized that he would not get anywhere by constantly attacking and dodging, and decided to do something about it. Retracting his ethereal arm and enforcing his already powerful legs, the man jumped high in an attempt to escape the ring of blondes at speeds that it was presumed that only dōjutsu users and kage-level shinobi would be able to see, let alone predict his flight path…

… Only to be surprised as a stupidly huge blade of wind swung from the ground met his body and crashed into his shroud from above. He had managed to put his arms up to block in time, and was glad he did so, as he felt the wind chakra somehow manage to barely cut through both his shroud and the armor on his arms before the power behind it was used to push him back into the ring instead of cutting his arms off due to being wedged in his two defenses. Looking down back at the source, Han spied the blonde brat that he was trying to kill, with his hands once more clasped together and producing the massive bladed weapon from his arms, swinging them as if his limbs were the grip of the weapon assaulting him. **"That… little… bastard…"** He muttered in surprise and rage as he registered what just happened. He couldn't say anything else though, as his young opponent roared as he put as much strength as he could into his swing and managed to force the elder jinchūriki back into the area he was trying to escape again. **_'How is he able to fight and keep up with me?'_** He mentally roared in frustration and confusion before he was slammed and slashed back into the earth with enough force to match his current wild blows, creating a small crater among the rubble there.

The assaulting blonde in question breathed heavily as he made some clones to keep his ring of blonde death illusion up and running before backing up a bit and channeling some chakra into his arms to heal them a bit. Physically pushing Han back into the area seemed like a good idea at the time, but his arms were seriously pushed to their limits, and he pulled some muscles in the process. It wasn't something that some quick regeneration wouldn't heal, but he would think twice before trying something as stupid as that again…

Moments later, he was thanking his dumb luck for moving back a bit as his opponent unleashed an animalistic roar, creating a massive chakra shockwave that destroyed all the clones he'd made to confuse and disorient Han, kicking up a large amount of debris in the process. "Damn…" The blonde grunted as he shielded his face. "I forgot he could do that when the cloak was up…"

" _Naruto!"_ Kushina's voice yelled from inside. _"It's getting too dangerous! Use Sage Mode or the Kyūbi's chakra! At the very least summon the elders!"_

"Not yet…" The boy frowned as he took in deep breaths. His reserves were replenishing quickly, but the fact remained that he had used Fūjin no Naruto earlier, and had thus not entered this fight at full power. As of this moment, he had probably a little over half of his chakra left. A very healthy amount considering how much that really was compared to the standard shinobi, but it was still dwarfed by what Han was pumping out at the moment. "I can still push things a bit more before I need to do any of those…"

The Kyūbi chuckled. **_"Heh… I would be more insulted that you are refusing my gifts, boy… but seeing you make a mockery of Gobi's container while he is using a fair amount of his power is entertaining enough for me to ignore this slight for the time being…"_**

The blonde smirked. "Hey, Kyūbi… do you think I should tell him that when I start using your power? It would be pretty funny, wouldn't it?"

Minato frowned. _"Naruto! This isn't the time to think of such things!"_

Kyūbi on the other hand laughed even more. **_"You are by far the most interesting host I have had yet, boy. Please do that when the time is right. I wish to see what havoc it would cause, and it has been centuries since I have seen the Gobi put in his place."_** The bijū's grin widened maliciously. **_"In fact… should you do so and he proves to be too much for your weak self to handle alone… I will even humor you and lend you some extra aid should you need it. No strings attached. It would be a shame to let a container such as yourself go just when you are becoming tolerable…"_**

The blonde chuckled as he returned his attention to the real world, ignoring the warnings his parents were giving him. "I'm holding you to that, fuzz butt. Hope you enjoy the show…" His musings were cut short as he replaced himself just as one of Han's large chakra claws extended out and thrashed wildly just where he was moments before. Apparently the man had lost his temper and was striking at every place he could in order to possibly hit the blonde a few seconds after his last stunt. "You better keep your end of the deal, Kyūbi…" The boy breathed out slowly as he made several more clones all over the place in decent hiding spots before walking out himself casually, instantly gaining the attention of his borderline rabid opponent.

" **There you are!"** Han bellowed angrily. **"I was beginning to think that you had finally realized that you were outmatched and ran away like the coward you are!"**

Naruto sighed and shook his head. "If only the Gobi could escape you to get away from such a weak and unstable container like yourself. No doubt he must be embarrassed that a 13 year old brat has pushed you to use a good part of his power. Imagine what the other bijū would say…" He put on a thoughtful expression before smirking. "Well… I bet Shukaku would probably relate, seeing as I shoved an exploding kunai up his container's ass too… I guess that's another thing that the Gobi and the Ichibi have in common. Apparently, you both like to take it from behind…"

" ** _I am nothing like that retarded rat!"_** Roared the Gobi so loudly that he was actually heard by Naruto and those inside his mind as Han's cloak began to flare so much it was almost losing shape and causing the container some discomfort.

"Heh…" The blonde chuckled nervously as he sweat a small amount and watched the man spawn a second tail. "… I may have overdone it that time."

" _YOU THINK!"_ Kushina raged sarcastically, just as angry as the Gobi.

Before Naruto could come up with a reply to calm down his mother, Han bolted towards him at speeds that completely outstripped what he could do before… and for once causing Naruto to be nervous about his current situation. Once more, he replaced himself in order to escape instant death… but unlike his previous times, Han managed to track him down and follow him almost instantly, much to the boy's displeasure. "Shit…" The blonde frowned as he attempted to combine his shunshin, dashing, and replacement skills to put as much room between him and Han as possible in order to get an attack setup… swapping himself with at least 8 logs, stones, bodies and clones in less than 3 seconds before he managed to get enough room to get a full breath into his lungs and focus chakra into his dominant hand…

Han on the other hand roared in frustration as he attempted to catch the elusive boy, who seemed to always manage to escape getting killed at the last moment every _. Damn._ _ **Time**_ he attacked.

It was frustrating. It was infuriating. It was making him angry, and as such, it was enabling the Gobi to gain a greater control of his body and influence his actions more. Even in the beast's enraged state, it managed to keep its focus on the boy and lead its container in the right direction. It knew that something was not right. It knew that the boy was more than expected, but it also knew that unless the child was capable of some sort of absurdly strong and equally fast technique, there was nothing that could be done to stop his container from tearing the offending infant to pieces in the next few seconds, as it watched its container advance until he was virtually on top of their target…

Naruto Uzumaki, aka unpredictable personified, did however possess such a technique, and threw his right hand forward, creating a massive sphere of chakra in his hand as the man's enormous figure was within three seconds of crushing him. "Ōdama Rasengan." The blonde grit his teeth, pushing more than a healthy amount of chakra into the technique in order to make sure that it could break through the chakra shroud of the attacking jinchūriki.

A thunderous explosion that could be heard for miles rocked the entire area as the two attacks collided with one another, causing both fighters to get thrown violently in opposite directions and crash among the rubble there.

"… Attacking a jinchūriki head on when they have a shroud up…" Naruto grunted as he laid in a pile of rocks and stared up at the sky. "… Not one of my smarter ideas…" He sighed and picked himself up, brushing off the dirt and dust on his body, ignoring the myriad of scratches and bruises he had received as the regeneration factor in his body kicked in and rapidly began to heal them…

He almost didn't notice Han's massive body about to crush him until it was too late…

An almost instinctively executed replacement technique had saved him from dying right then and there, as the clone he had swapped with was crushed under the savage blow meant for the original that caused the earth to shake.

"The hell?" Naruto panted and shivered as he carefully peeked out from behind a large rock to look at his assaulter roar monstrously to the sky in rage at finding out that he'd killed another clone. _'How the fuck did he recover from being hit with an Ōdama Rasengan so fast? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even get so close to me without even feeling it until he was right on top of me? Even if he had the shroud up…'_ He froze as he spied his opponent sporting not two, but THREE tails on his shroud now.

"… Shhhhit."

He summed up his situation fairly well. He remembered from his previous timeline's reports that when he went nuts on Orochimaru on the Sasuke retrieval mission, his 3 tailed state had been enough to push back the Snake Sannin for a good while before going to his 4 tailed state… granted, the man had still been playing with him, but still, the bottom line was the difficulty level was now being set at Kage… and he was still a 13 year old kid (albeit an absurdly powerful one).

Even worse, if Han managed to access even more of his bijū's power and entered the second stage of transformations, enveloping himself in the blood shroud, then even with the Kyūbi's chakra and Sage Mode, he highly doubted he would be able to protect everyone from a fully powered Bijū Dama (Tailed Beast Ball). He could cut through the Sanbi's attacks pretty well, but that was only because the Ichibi through the Yonbi's standard attacks were elemental heavy, and thus were less volatile. From the Gobi upward, Bijū Dama leaned towards the pure energy side and used their side powers for other attacks… and as such, had a tendency to be set off on a dime and nuke anything in their blast radius.

So far, he had done pretty damn well if he could say so himself. In a game of ninjutsu and controlling the pace of the fight, the boy had managed to get through the fight almost unscathed, despite the fact that he was definitely slower and weaker than his opponent. His experience with the shunshin and replacement techniques had managed to cover for his speed weakness, not to mention all the upturned rubble provided him with a great number of places to hide, and his absurd amount of chakra, control and ninjutsu covered for his lack of physical strength…

Still, he highly doubted that by himself, without any aid or augmentation, he would be able to handle a jinchūriki that managed to enter a Stage Two transformation. Plus, he had to make sure that he was in good enough shape to ensure that his friends were okay and safe for the rest of the trip back home…

He had to end this soon.

" **Show yourself, Namikaze!"** Han's almost rabid voice echoed through the area. **"Fight me, or else I will go finish off your so called friends!"**

"At least he's still sane enough to speak…" The blonde sighed to himself as he prepared to piss off his opponent even more. "That was certainly better than what I expected him to be like at this stage."

" ** _Do you want my power yet, boy?"_** Kyūbi asked more curious than anything at the moment.

"Not yet…" The blonde sighed and cracked his neck before walking out and making a clone. The air around him was filled with tainted chakra from Han's transformation now and even walking required some effort… however, the boy and his clone took things in stride. This was far from the worst oppressive feeling he had ever encountered, and this would not be the last time he would be stuck in this kind of situation. "Just one last push… then if it doesn't work, we can go nuts…"

" ** _I look forward to it."_** The bijū chuckled before going quiet once more.

Without even giving a command, the boy threw down several smoke bombs onto the ground to cover himself and his clone completely, and easily getting the attention of his opponent. Seconds later, a high pitched shrieking noise reverberated in the air, causing Han to stop in his tracks and look curiously at the smoke and try and find the source of the sound. He didn't have to wait long, as a massive blue disc of pure chakra flew at him with blinding speed. Even with his degraded intelligence, the elder jinchūriki could instinctually tell that this was something that he did NOT want to get hit with it. Jumping out of the way quickly, Han managed to dodge the first disk… only to roar in protest as a second one appeared in the shadow of the first, curving to his current position.

The second Rasenshuriken also missed as the jinchūriki made an extra dash to get out of the way of the attack, making sure that there was another dangerous disc underneath the second one. Once he had confirmed that there wasn't, he immediately turned his attention to the blonde boy who was standing in the clearing smoke and making several seals at a high pace. Roaring in anger, Han bolted forward just as his prey slammed his hands to the ground.

"Doton! Yomi no Mai (Earth Style: Swamp of the Underworld)!" The teen frowned as he transformed the entirety of the land in front of him into a murky and extremely dangerous swamp pumped with almost all of the rest of the chakra he had in him, covering at least a square kilometer of area in the process.

Han took no note of the non-offensive technique as he continued to charge forward, covered by his shroud and confident that whatever the boy just did could not stop or harm him anymore. In part he was right, as the swamp technique, while powerful, merely managed to significantly slow down the massive man as he sunk down to his thighs and could only manage to move at a speed that was slightly above what he could do before he transformed. That did not deter him from plowing forward in an attempt to finally kill the smirking boy in front of him… with blood red eyes.

"Hey Gobi! Kyūbi says hi!"

The source of the familiar shrieking noise rapidly coming from behind him however… did…

o. o. o.

With Hinata's group:

Hinata winced once more as another massive explosion was heard from the area that she and her friends had just escaped from. She had honestly lost count of the number of times that the earth had shaken since they had been placed down and she had gotten to work on healing the others.

Despite how much she wished she could start to work on Neji, Hinata's first patients after ingesting a soldier pill were herself and Ino in that order. Not only were the girls the only two that were still conscious, other than Sai at the moment, but they were the only two that had extensive experience in medical treatment techniques, and as such, their chances of getting everyone back home in one piece were much higher if both of them were in working order.

It had taken nearly 20 minutes for Hinata to reset and restore Ino's hands and fingers to the point that she could make seals again, albeit very slowly and shakily, but it was what both girls had agreed upon before they could focus their attention on the ones that really needed treatment at the moment.

Popping a pill into her mouth and making her own seals, Ino got to work scanning and treating as many of Lee's injuries as possible, taking note of Hinata's quick diagnostic when she looked at him with her Byakugan, while Hinata focused all of her attention on Neji.

The boy to put it bluntly was a wreck, not even counting his eye. Almost all his ribs were crushed inward, he had significant internal bleeding, his face was swollen, several organs were ruptured… the list went on for so long that even Hinata had some doubts that she would be able to save her beloved family member. However, that did not stop her from trying, as she activated her eyes and made her palms glow green. Repositioning the ribs… re-fusing them a minor amount so that they would not fall out of place again and cause more damage… barely healing the ruptured organs so that they would no longer leak their contents into the rest of the body… converting and diverting all of the blood and bodily fluids that had leaked to the rest of the body outside using a rather complicated osmosis based technique that she had somehow manage to learn a week before the mission started…

Each and every body part she worked on, she focused on with absolute concentration… but only healed enough so that they would no longer pose an immediate threat to the boy's health before moving on to the next concerning matter in the boy's body. It was a poor and dangerous approach, yes, but she was not skilled enough to finish the procedure for each part in time to save the boy from succumbing to the damage that the other wounds were slowly doing to himself. For now, she was just making sure that he would be able to live long enough for her to finish the job later on if she had the energy and the time…

"… Shit…" One of the clones grunted as it turned to a seemingly random direction. "We got company…"

"Are you serious?" Ino tiredly looked at the clones disbelievingly. "Now of all times? We can barely stand let alone fight! Scratch that… we can't even stand!"

"There's a lot of them…" Another clone frowned as he closed his eyes and focused. "And most of them are really strong too… completely in a different league than most of the guys we just fought… but some of their signatures seem familiar…"

"Do you think… they could be allies?" Sai grunted from the tree he was leaning on helplessly as he took out a kunai with his one good hand.

"If not, the best we can do is surrender." Grit another clone's teeth. "There's too many of them to fight off…"

"Let me have a look before we do anything." Hinata interjected before wiping off a load of sweat on her face and focused her bloodline in the direction that the clones had indicated. Further and further she dove until she saw what she was looking for… and she let out a small gasp of surprise. "I… I don't believe it…" She whispered in shock and disbelief.

"What is it?" A clone asked with a raised eyebrow. "Who's coming?"

"It's… Kakashi-sensei, and Shikamaru-kun… and Sakura… and a bunch of ANBU… from both Konoha and Iwa…" She repeated what she saw in relief, tears coming to her eyes as she collapsed backwards. "We have help…"

"S-seriously?" One of the clones stammered before focusing more on the signatures coming their way. "Why the hell would they… never mind that, how did they even find us all the way out here?"

"Who cares?!" Ino yelled with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. "We have help! One of you clones get to the damned group and drag Forehead and as many medics as you can over here as fast as you can! Use the damned Kyūbi if you have to! Just do it! We need to get them here as fast as possible!"

"Right!" The clones nodded before several of them ran to get the much needed aid.

"To be honest… I am having a hard time believing that such a thing is happening…" Sai stated plainly. "To have so many ANBU from both Konoha and Iwa come just as we are at our weakest…"

Another explosion rocked the distance and an animalistic roar pounded their ears.

"If they wanted to hit us when we were down, they would have at least come when those two had stopped fighting, Sai…" Hinata stated as she went back to work healing Neji's neck muscles and collar bones. "We are low level threats and targets compared to Naruto-kun and that man he's fighting. Even if we were targets, they would still have a better shot of capturing us after those two are done fighting so that they don't possibly get killed in the crossfire." She finally shifted her attention to Neji's eye and winced. Han had literally jammed his thumb in the boy's socket, but he had at the very least not torn it out through the side, which would have been an untreatable lethal injury for anyone save for Tsunade herself. Swallowing heavily and pushing down any bile that had threatened to come up her throat, she began to clean out the wound and withdraw any blood that had pooled in the socket. "I saw ANBU from both Konoha and Iwa… my guess is that whoever those guys were that attacked us… they were being looked for by Iwa… badly…"

The heiress' observation was interrupted as several dozen people landed nearby, with Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Sakura in the front.

"… My god…" Sakura's face paled as she saw the condition of her friends, her eyes lingering on Neji in particular.

Shikamaru didn't bother to say anything as his face darkened and he clicked his teeth angrily and walked to his pink haired teammate, shoving her to the group in order to snap her out of her funk. It did the trick, as the girl stumbled a few steps before realizing that she could actually do something and moved to help Hinata.

"You weren't kidding when you said it was bad…" Kakashi stated gravely as he looked at his students with his normal eye before turning to the direction of the nearby explosions and animalistic roars. "I take it that the original is still fighting Han…"

"Yeah." A clone nodded. "He…" His report was interrupted as a massive shrieking explosion reverberated through the area and caught everyone's attention.

"What the hell was that?" An Iwa ANBU asked incredulously. "I've never heard of a bijū make that kind of noise."

"That wasn't a bijū's technique." Kakashi answered with a frown as he noted the dying wind and the trees returning to their normal positions… before an inhuman roar even louder than the previous explosion met everyone's ears, accompanied by an equally strong wind and a heavy foul energy in the air blew their way. "That… unfortunately, is…" Kakashi frowned as he met eyes with Tenzo.

"What is the current situation?" Asked an Iwa ANBU. "How many enemies are there?"

"As far as I know? Only that freak in the red armor is left." Ino grimaced as she focused on Lee. "Most were killed by Naruto's stupid overpowered technique and we were doing fairly well taking out the stragglers when that bastard came when we were all together and got the jump on us." She swallowed as she tried to keep her breathing steady. "I think that one or two of those pricks got away, but from what I've heard, they won't be trying to get back at us anytime soon…" She glanced up and saw the Iwa forehead protectors. "Can someone please explain to me why the hell you guys are working with us when those assholes from your village back there were trying to kill us?"

"They were criminals from a high level prison that escaped a while ago." Kakashi replied as he sent several of the medics in his group to take care of Sai. "We got word that they were in our territory recently, so both of our leaders decided to make this an S-ranked joint mission to ensure that as little damage could be done both physically and politically…" A distant explosion caused him to frown. "… Though at the moment, I guess we're going to have to settle for political stability."

"How many enemies were there originally, and can you identify any of them?" Another masked Iwa shinobi asked tersely.

"There was…" Sai breathed out painfully. "Supposedly around… thirty shinobi. The only one… I knew the name of… was General Sinō…"

"Sinō?" Grunted the tallest Iwa ANBU. Several shinobi whispered among themselves nervously. "I was unaware he was also part of this. What happened to him?"

"Fuck! You've got to be kidding me!" A clone yelled in frustration, instantly grabbing everyone's attention. "He's using 4 tails and he looks like a mini-bijū now!" He looked at Kakashi. "Sensei, there's no way that the boss can hold back anymore without dying!"

"What's going on?" A large masked Iwa shinobi asked sternly as he stepped forward and looked down at Naruto. Judging from the way he carried himself, he was the leader of the other country's forces there. "How do you know so much about the bijū, and how is it possible that your original self is able to hold off Han for so long?"

"Naruto." Yamato stepped forward and speaking with a warning tone. "It would be best if you didn't…"

"I'm the Kyūbi's jinchūriki." The clone stated bluntly without any hesitation, causing both the forces from Iwa and Konoha to gape dumbfounded at the clone.

"You idiot!" The wood user glared at the boy and grabbed him by his sweater. "Do you realize what you just did?!"

The clone frowned and knocked off the ANBU's hand roughly as if the man's opinion didn't even matter before it turned to Kakashi. "It doesn't matter at this point. We wouldn't be able to hide it anyways because…" Yet another loud wave of chakra erupted across the area, accompanied by a similar, yet distinctively different creature's roar that seemed to equal if not dwarf the previous in terms of intensity and ferocity. "Well… that!" The clone yelled to be heard before it and the others began to grimace and hold their stomachs in irritation. "We're not going to last long! It's hard to keep us up when we're using that much of the furball's chakra! I tried to take the bastard down without using the Kyūbi, but it just got too much after he got up to four tails!"

"Naruto!" Kakashi frowned and grabbed the clone. "How many tails are you using?! Can you keep control over yourself?"

"I can go up to 6 tails!" The clone grimaced as some of the ones nearby dispelled. "But I don't know how well boss will do! That freak Han looks like he's about to go full blown bijū at any time! Basic shrouds don't hold a candle against full formed beasts unless there's a difference of at least 5 tails!"

"Can you still use any of your techniques with your shroud up?" Shikamaru stepped forward with a frown on his face as the wind died down and several roars were echoing with greater frequency nearby. "I remember you once said you could still use one or two of them with it." The Nara was careful not to say that Naruto could use Rasengan. They had stepped into enough shit already today.

"A couple…" The clone hissed as more of its brethren dispelled. "But I've honestly never used them at this level before…" It panted. "I'll try to hold him off as long as possible. Just get anyone who can calm the asshole down over to the fight already!" With its last outburst, the last few clones dispelled… just before an explosion that dwarfed all the previous ones erupted and lit up the night sky, causing a backlash so strong that several trees were knocked over and the ANBU there had to use their skills to prevent trees and branches from falling on top of the heavily injured teens.

With the last of the boy's clones gone now, there was nothing left to divert the boy's attention or his chakra, so it did not surprise Kakashi in the slightest when the sound of hundreds of exploding tags going off at once rapidly met his ears. Turning around with a frown, the man shifted his headband up to reveal his Sharingan. "Sakura, Shikamaru, two of our other medics and three ANBU from Konoha will stay here to tend to the wounded. The rest of you will follow me to ground zero and be on the highest alert possible. We are dealing with not one but two active jinchūriki, so take appropriate positions. Frontline fighters take point, then sealers, followed by support then medics. Unless it appears that Naruto has lost control, focus your attention on Han." His chakra and killing intent spiked to the point that the shinobi there could have sworn that they were staring down a massive pure white wolf made of lightning that had mismatched glowing red and yellow eyes. "Anyone who disobeys that order will be killed by me, war be damned. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sir!" The ANBU responded at once, letting their instincts answer for them as their brains tried to process that unnerving sensation the man had just exposed them to.

"Go!" The man nodded as he disappeared in a burst of speed, followed by almost all of the other ANBU save for those tasked with helping the teens.

"I managed to stabilize him enough for me to work on his other injuries…" Hinata explained to Sakura as her help knelt on the other side of her cousin. "But he is still in very bad shape…"

Sakura remained silent as she did her own quick diagnostic on the boy and paled. "… It's a miracle you managed to keep him alive for so long…" She whispered in awe and nervousness before shaking her head and getting to work. "I'll work on his chest and body while you do his head and neck. Once he's completely stabilized, we can work on the next patient…" She used the word tersely, trying to emotionally distance herself from her friends as much as possible in order to make sure her emotions didn't get in the way. "Who else needs immediate treatment after this one?"

"Lee's in pretty bad shape." Ino grimaced as she continued to work on the boy. "I can keep him running for now, but I'm not good with head injuries, and my hand and arm are not making it any easier." She looked at the others. "Kiba and Akamaru got hammered, but I think they are all right for now. The same can be said with Kin, but Sai's hands were crushed pretty badly. He's going to need to get them looked at by a pro very soon…"

"I'll finish your treatment after I'm done with Neji." Sakura stated. "After that, I'll help you with Lee. Then we can split up and help out Kiba and Kin each…" She looked at Hinata with concern. The girl was panting and sweating heavily as she tried to keep her cool and help her cousin. "Hinata, after we're done here, you're going to stop and rest." She didn't flinch as the girl's eyes shot up towards her own in defiance. "You're exhausted, Hinata. If Neji wasn't in such bad shape, I would force you down right now. I can't in good conscience let you treat anyone else after this."

"I can still… go on…" The girl frowned as she looked at her cousin's face, finished realigning his jaw, and began to heal the torn jaw muscles there.

"Hinata." Sakura spoke more firmly. "You are a good medic and you are very strong and talented… but you are at your limit both physically and mentally. You and Ino have help now, so please rest. Pushing yourself any more than this will put you in danger and distract the few of us here helping from getting to the others, putting them at risk in the process…" She put on a tired smile. "I don't know what you did… but you've done enough and you deserve a break. Let the rest of us be useful for a change."

The Hyūga girl blinked wearily for a few moments before looking at Sakura, almost asking as if what her friend had just said was really the right thing to do. In return Sakura looked back with a kind but stern and unrelenting gaze that allowed for no arguments. That alone seemed to be enough for the girl as she smiled weakly and backed up, ending her technique in the process. "I understand, Sakura. I'll rest for now… however, if it is all right with you, I would still like to help by aiding you with my Byakugan. I'm able to identify injuries and issues faster with them than most people are with the diagnostic technique…"

Sakura nodded as she shifted over and began to manage and clean up Neji's eye injury. "So long as you don't push yourself anymore, that's fine…" She frowned as a chain of violent explosions went off nearby. "Damn it, Naruto… You really might have bitten off more than you can chew this time…"

o. o. o.

Thinking was no longer allowed in this fight. It was a luxury that would kill the first one to take it now. Only power and instinct guided the monsters that were fighting in the craters and mountains of debris that littered the area.

The first monster was a four tailed beast so dark red that it may have been black, with the resemblance of a hat on its head and a large bulge on its back, but otherwise had no distinct visible features to display. No sanity or higher thinking could be recognized in its glowing white eyes and mouth as it roared and thrashed its way to kill its prey. The air around it was so infused with corrupted chakra that it was suffocating and oversaturated. Every attack it threw was wild and relentless. Powerful and cruel, its seemingly stable form was just the opposite, capable of warping itself to adjust to indecisive damage to retaliate with savagery. This beast's only goal was to rend any and everything it saw until it was sated.

The second monster took the form of a six tailed boy with blonde hair and red slit eyes. Unlike the first creature, this one had multiple defining features. Two furry ears stuck out from the top of his head, and his tails were just as physical as the ears were. His eyes showed intelligence, albeit in conjunction with a feral and uncontrollable nature. Much like his foe, he was surrounded by a potent and wild chakra, but much less dense and concentrated than the former's. However, this monster, while weaker in power than his opponent, had an advantage that was his own. The sky itself was his tool, as the air around it did not protest at its exposure to the beast's power, but accepted and melded it, thrumming with its power as if it were a part of the monster itself. The energy surrounding its body was laced with the sky's gift and the wind's ferocity…

The first monster had the greatest strength. The second had the sharpest claws. The first was bigger. The second was faster. The first had more power. The second had more intelligence. The first could warp its body. The second would warp the heavens.

" _So did I make you wait too long, furball?"_ Naruto asked his tenant in a dry tone as he stared down his opponent warily, his mental self leaning against the beast's cage, arms crossed and eyes closed.

The strongest of the bijū snorted as he laid down behind the gate, front claws under his head and eyes closed just like his container. **_"A bit, boy… however, I will let that slight pass this time, since it was to humiliate the Gobi."_** An eye cracked open and glared at the smaller figure. **_"However, should you call me that insulting title again, I will ensure that this bout will be far more difficult for you than it already is…"_**

The blonde teen smirked as his eyes opened and he stared straight forward. "Whatever you say… Kurama…"

Returning to reality, the jinchūriki ignored his tenant's raging with a chuckle. He knew his host despised it when he used his beast's real name. The tailed beast was always proud of his power and position and hated to be referred to by the one title that didn't represent those things. He really did have to thank the Yonbi for that slip when they had that mass bijū meeting back before the Chūnin Exams…

However, once he returned to the outside, his mental processes became warped. He was still self-aware and could tell the difference between friend and foe, but complicated acts such as performing most ninjutsu and speaking in complete sentences became all but impossible for him. His skin was hot. His muscles were hotter…. But he knew that it could be far worse if his body was not used to the constant exposure to demonic chakra that the adjusted seal had subjected him to.

And he was fine with that. If he needed to be a monster in order to take this one down and save his friends, then he would be one.

A small distance away in a sizeable crater, the beast known as Han glared at Naruto spitefully, thrumming with unstable power and malice and hunched over on all fours like the creature he was emulating.

Both monsters eyed one another hungrily. Eagerly…

And then Naruto disappeared.

Driven by instinct and pure body memory, the boy utilized his demonic Seventh Sense and chakra hopping to cover the distance between the two in mere instants and raised his clawed hand to rend his opponent with claws that were naturally enhanced with wind chakra, all but ensuring that they could cut through even the enhanced cloak that his opponent had…

It was only by pure instinct supported by his Seventh Sense that enabled him to avoid getting obliterated by his opponent, who merely slammed his arm on the ground and generated a blast of energy that created a monstrous shockwave that threw the smaller beast back.

The blonde boy rode the blast a fair distance before he landed and used the speed to encircle his opponent at a wide radius. The 3 broken ribs and bruised arm he got from the devastating counter healed in the time he had flown through the air.

Faster and faster he ran, until with a mighty roar, he suddenly changed direction toward his foe again, this time continuing to change directions randomly in order to confuse his opponent. The larger monster managed to follow the smaller one somewhat, but it was clearly irritated by the constant sudden moves, and in a loud rumbling growl it slashed out its two warped arms, extending them as it did so to incredible, lethal, and somewhat comical lengths to swat the annoying foe. The smaller beast had expected this and changed direction without warning once more, only travelling up this time and over the attack.

This did not go unnoticed by Han, as another arm grew and shot out of his original arms almost instantly at the airborne boy in an attempt to catch him again. This too failed, as once more the Kyūbi vessel changed direction in midair and bolted towards his opponent with one hand extended, generating a massive purple orb of raw chakra that was bigger than both of them combined and crashing into the stunned beast with discrimination.

Unfortunately, it would not be easy for Naruto, as Han seemed to shift his body like a warped water balloon. From the farthest part of his being from the orb, another head, torso, and eventually another entire body appeared… before it bolted and took in the former body, arms and all as if it was made of stretched out rubber, seemingly sustaining no damage at all before the orb exploded with relentless force.

Naruto landed on the crater he had made and growled irritably, knowing that his attack failed miserably and that his opponent was hiding in the dust. It took him mere moments to find the man, but he could do nothing about it, as suddenly multiple giant black arms shot out of the ground underneath him. He managed to move with a fair amount of time before he could have been hit, but much to his ire, more giant black arms began to erupt out of the hard ground as well. Each one of these arms spawned more annoying claws from their sides in the process as if they were weeds, all aiming to tear the smaller creature apart. Naruto moved fast. His changing of direction made his capture even harder for his opponent, but the number of arms trying to eviscerate him progressively made things more and more difficult for him to maneuver efficiently. More than once, he was scraped by the monstrous hands due to being surrounded on multiple fronts and was left with cuts that would not heal due to the residual chakra.

Yelling angrily, the more human of the beasts dashed towards the nearest arm and severed it with his own powerful and significantly sharper claws, tearing it in half almost easily. Keeping his momentum going, the teen moved to the next arm sticking out of the ground, sliding in all directions and rapidly changing speeds in order to avoid getting crushed by the growing forest of demonic claws growing from the scorched earth.

One…

Two…

Seven arms fell to his rushing onslaught as he bolted between the relentless massive claws falling on top of him like rain… but it was nowhere near enough to give him a break. There were too many claws to handle with normal means. They regrew too quickly, and he was taking in too much damage just trying to get close to them. His chest and back had multiple gouges in them and his legs and arms were not doing much better, even though they were healing at a somewhat noticeable rate.

The beast known as Naruto knew this instinctively now. His claws were too small. He needed bigger claws now. Big enough that he could tear through many of his enemy's claws at once. He realized this as a small army of the black claws came barreling down on him from all sides, intending to end him…

"▄▄▄ **███!"** He roared incoherently as he slashed out his arms in defiance… only this time, the shroud surrounding them extended and warped to his will. Rapidly yet naturally, they both changed so that they were no longer mere baseless and wavering chakra masses shaped like limbs, but long and massive demonic and transparent blades with sharp nails at the tip that resembled hands. The two blades arced out like whips and slashed through the offending assault without slowing down in the slightest, as the edges they possessed were as fine as the air both creatures breathed. With a steady rumble, the severed limbs collapsed onto the earth, no longer attached to their controller and rapidly began to decay into the air…

However, the severed limbs went unnoticed by both monsters as the smaller one could now finally see his opponent, hunched over with its front claws embedded into the ground. Letting loose another primal bellow, the blonde teen bolted towards his enemy with speed that had dwarfed his previous average, becoming nothing more to a blur to most shinobi's eyes had they attempted to follow him.

His way had been cleared. His opponent was still anchored to the ground and glaring at him in rage. This was the time to strike, as he covered the massive distance between them in mere seconds before stabbing out his claw to embed it into the beast's head…

Only to be pushed back by the larger beast's enraged roar, making a shockwave that launched back the smaller fighter violently and merely getting a shallow five fingered greeting on its face in the process.

Being already in a stable position despite getting its face injured, Han's second and significantly louder roar was done in conjunction with its follow up attack, creating a virtual forest of limbs that whipped wildly at his still flying and stunned opponent. Grinning savagely despite the fact that the mark on his face would not disappear, the possessed man savored the feeling and image of his prey finally getting caught by one of his arms unaware before slamming him multiple times into the earth. Each blow shook the earth, and each throw was even more powerful than the one before. After what seemed like dozens of quakes had riddled the area, the scarred man-beast decided to finish the job and threw his target straight up into the air so he could properly aim all his limbs to butcher the annoying gnat once he fell down. He smirked as the boy spun as he rose up into the air before slowing down in both rotation and in speed… before dropping down head first without putting up any resistance. His distorted smile grew as the boy fell faster and faster, and soon began to drool as the time soon came to finish the job…

He was so eager to kill the boy… he didn't bother to react to his danger instincts flaring, the boy's glowing outstretched claws… or the countless individual shimmers of light that began to litter all of the air in the area…

Naruto could barely feel his body now. His opponent was too big and too strong. His speed was not enough, because his opponent had too many claws. His claws were not enough, because they would not reach far enough. If only he had more claws, he could win…

He felt the air pulse as if reacting to his breathing and his will just as he reached the top of his flight.

_He needed more claws… no… he didn't need claws. His claws were weaker than his opponent's. Massive paws that could crush and lift and plow through anything they wanted. His nails though, those were sharper. Far sharper. His nails could rend anything, tear anything, pierce anything. He needed more nails, not claws. He wanted more sharp things to tear with…_

His arms stretched out with his hands wide open, as if his fingertips could skim the very sky itself.

_He wanted more things to touch and grip at the very end of his arm's reach…_

The tips of each claw began to glow faintly but dangerously, as if all the power in them was simply to tear at anything that interrupted their path and nothing more…

_He wanted to feel everything that within his reach in the sky, as if his fingers and nails themselves were doing just that, all at once. His skin would remember each object it encountered, even if it wasn't really there… and his nails would at the same time rend those same exact objects in order to establish his dominance… each sensation would be recalled… each tear would be savored… and each passage of his nail would be remembered…_

The sky now was glittering with small red lights, thrumming and vibrating with the same energy the teen exerted, his eyes once more wide open and alive. Focused and enraged at the forest that had given him so much trouble and pain…

With a mighty roar, the smaller monster slashed down his arms and claws…

Dragging each and every nail in the sky with them at once… instantly filling the air with the blood red trails of thousands of gouges made unanimously.

The earth was gouged countless times. Any birds flying through the skies there were torn to shreds. Upturned boulders were turned to smaller, evenly cut stones, and trees were reduced to kindling. Nothing that was exposed to the heavens at that point in time was safe, and everything was at its mercy. At that moment, the seemingly harmless air that was in the area turned into the ultimate tool of murder and retaliation. The forest of demonic arms fared no differently as they were butchered and rendered useless instantly, no longer possessing a threat to their original target as they all fell to the ground and decayed.

" **█████!"** The beast known as Han roared in rage and pain as he thrashed around covered in red scratches all over his body, though clearly nowhere near as torn apart as the rest of the area or his arms. No longer anchored into the ground, he swung around wildly and rolled about as if he was in an unbearable amount of pain, which was peculiar due to the fact that fighting in his current condition alone would be more than mind-breakingly torturous for any normal human.

Naruto, on the other hand, collapsed to the ground as soon as he landed. The fall did nothing to harm him, but the damage he had recently sustained was enough to stall him for a short time, not to mention the fact that he had been using the Kyūbi's power for long enough that he was beginning to feel the side effects of his condition… unlike his opponent, who was so overwhelmed by his condition that he no longer could feel that damage.

" _Naruto!"_ Minato shouted from inside his son. _"You've done enough! Kakashi should be close enough to take over now! You're going to be in trouble if you keep this up!"_

"Not… yet…" The teen coughed up blood as he stood up again, his eyes burning red. "Not… enough… yet…"

" _Naruto!"_ Kushina yelled worriedly. _"Don't let your hate control you! Your friends are safe! You don't have to get revenge for them!"_

"Not… revenge…" The blonde shook his head, wincing as his bones reset and fused while his skin began to burn due to the overexposure to high levels of demon chakra. "Have… to find… something… out…" He didn't say any more as he saw his opponent's thrashing slow down and manage to get on its feet again, glaring at Naruto murderously.

Both beasts were wounded now. Both were tired of fighting with tricks and dealing with them. Glaring at one another hungrily, they remained quiet save for their breathing… and then they charged at one another…

o. o. o.

Kakashi grimaced as he warily led his group towards the source of the violent raging and roaring, praying that Naruto would not perform War Scars again. It had been a miracle that he had managed to recognize the technique in time, having seen it being performed once before, albeit much quicker and cleaner by Ghost, and somehow stopped the 50 odd shinobi from jumping to their untimely and instantaneous death before the sky tore itself and the earth a couple hundred thousand new ones. To be blunt, he was stunned that the boy could even perform it while wielding an absurd amount of the Kyūbi's power, knowing that the technique required an absurd amount of control and practice that to his knowledge, Naruto had yet to achieve…

Though in hindsight, he probably shouldn't have been so surprised. The boy could after all also perform Rasengan in that current state as well, despite all common sense. It _was_ Naruto, after all…

"Be on your guard." Kakashi warned as he traveled at a gradual pace towards the massive crater where the sounds of battle could still clearly be heard. "Remember, unless Naruto shows signs of instability and incoherence, focus all your attention on Han first. Always be ready to retreat underground or to a safe area should the situation call for it…. Doing anything risky right now will just get you killed." He advised as he shinobi there as they slowly approached the edge of the crater and looked down…

What was happening could only be described as a mix between a savage fight between beasts and an inhuman dance between monsters. The larger Han and the smaller Naruto were constantly charging at one another and attempting to slash at the other with their glowing claws that bent and twisted in seemingly random ways that only made sense to their controllers as they stroked and dodged at the same time in their own ways. Han's body bent at unnatural angles as if his body was made of liquid and his attacks were wild and powerful, while Naruto was simply faster and changed directions on a dime, slashing with claws that could cut just by looking at them. Both were still moving at speeds that prevented everyone but Kakashi from accurately following enough to see what was going on…

"My god…" Muttered an Iwa ANBU as he attempted to keep up with the bizarre fight. "They're both monsters…"

"Be careful what you say…" Kakashi said warningly without looking. "One of those monsters is my student…"

"Sempai…" Yamato looked at Kakashi warily. "Are you sure it is safe to let Naruto use the Kyūbi's powers? He doesn't look like he's in control of himself right now…"

The Copy Nin watched carefully as his student expertly parried his opponent's outstretched black arm and swung with his free one, only to suddenly slide around his opponent instantly in order to avoid getting slashed through by a second body that shot out from the chest of his opponent and rake the beast's side instead before jumping back to avoid getting crushed by one of the flailing black tails. "No… he's still aware of what he's doing. He's just running more on instinct right now than thinking things through like he normally would…"

 _'Are you fucking kidding me?'_ Kurotsuchi mentally yelled as she watched the brat she had assumed would be pulverized by now. ' _He's the Kyūbi's jinchūriki of all things? AND he's holding up against Han when he's gone berserk? Just what the heck have I gotten myself into?'_

"That's some student you have there, Kakashi…" Mused the Iwa commander in an unidentifiable tone. "Makes me wonder what you're capable of doing…"

"Oh… you know…" The Copy Nin replied casually, not taking his eyes off of the fight. "Copied over a thousand techniques or so. High level lightning ninjutsu. Nothing that hasn't already been said in the Bingo Book already…"His Sharingan watched as the two jinchūriki bolted in the same direction while at the same time attempting to slash one another in half without missing a step. Boulders and trees were blasted to the side as if they were weightless between the unstoppable forces. "I can't take the credit for most of his training, though… I've taught him a lot, yes, but he goes to a couple of other shinobi for most of his tutelage… ones that are more appropriate for his kind of style…"

"Is that so?" The man from Iwa pondered as the demon containers stopped and split apart with a small shockwave that the shinobi there felt moments later before once more trying to dance around one another in a single area. "I'd like to meet them one day… they certainly seem to know what they are doing if they managed to get that boy to push Han this far at such a young age…"

Kakashi snorted. Naruto was now practically dancing around the still Han as the former was pulling a Lee, appearing and attacking from one angle before disappearing through sheer raw speed and sudden acceleration before appearing at another angle to attack an instant later. "Funny thing is… most of the time, they look like they have no idea what they are doing themselves…" He froze as his eye widened and watched in slow motion as Naruto charged at Han from behind, unaware that his target was rapidly storing an absurd amount of chakra into the lump on his back. "Shit!"

BOOM!

The cone on Han's back unleashed a massive torrent of corrupted steam that was more akin to a blast of raw power at Naruto point blank without any warning, catching both the boy and everyone watching off guard from the shockwave. The backlash was so large that only a third of them to manage to follow the trajectory of the now heavily injured boy flying through the air and falling to the ground heavily through the clouds of kicked up debris. The shinobi there watched carefully as they saw the boy, still covered in chakra, attempt to push himself up, only for the ground beneath his arms to collapse and drop him to the earth again, breathing raggedly.

"This isn't good!" Yamato spoke up and began to run forward. "We can't watch anymore!"

Kakashi agreed as he silently took off himself and rushed into the crater using all his speed, surprising many of the shinobi there as he blazed past Yamato and became a silver and green blur to many of their eyes.

 _'This is interesting…'_ A certain lizard masked Iwa ANBU mused as he ran. ' _The boy is vastly more valuable to Konoha than I originally guessed… and Kakashi is much faster than reports first indicated…'_ He frowned as he saw Han's demonic form suddenly burst out a large number of blood red and clear blue orbs of chakra around his body… before molding them all slowly into a giant ball in front of his mouth. ' _Well now… that certainly doesn't look healthy…'_

"Oh no…" Kakashi's face paled as he immediately recognized what Han was doing. Without even waiting for his team to respond, the Hatake opened the first two gates in his body instantly and bolted forward in an attempt to reach the demon in time while simultaneously activating his Mangekyō Sharingan as a safety precaution should he still be too slow. "Spread out!"

"F-fast…" Muttered an Iwa ANBU as they saw their temporary leader bolt away from them at abnormal speeds as they scattered while still attempting to close in on Han, who just managed to complete the massive grey purple sphere and was now condensing it…

"Come on…" Kakashi growled as he ran even faster, his right hand cracking and glowing with white electricity. Han had just swallowed the tiny ball of chakra… and now his body had puffed out like a balloon. "I'm not going to make it at this rate…"

" _Calm down… Sensei…"_ A bodiless voice echoed by the man's ears, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. _"I… counter… you… finish…"_

"N-Naruto?" The scarecrow's voice wavered in disbelief, uncertain if he heard the message correctly before very briefly looking at the boy with his Sharingan. The boy was clearly worse for wear, with half his clothes torn off, a good portion of his body covered in burns, an eye swollen and his entire body covered in blood, and he was leaning on one arm so much that he couldn't even see it through the rubble around the boy… however, he did not miss the fact that the blonde was staring directly at him with an unwavering gaze. Getting the message, the Copy Nin slowed down considerably and forced his gates shut. He would definitely be feeling the backlash from opening them later, but since they had only been active for at the most 13 seconds, he doubted that the damage would last longer than a night with his body. "Humph… I hope you know what you're doing, Naruto…" The man said as he still rushed forward but made sure to be able to jump out of the way to safety should the need arise. "It's your life you're playing with now…"

The air pulsed violently as Han's body grew even more, the beast completely ignoring the shinobi rapidly approaching him. His target was in sight and was not moving. He would kill this gnat and establish his dominance and revenge. Slowly, his steaming mouth opened, ready to unleash the absurd amount of chakra that was distorting his own body at his prey…

… He didn't even see or register the transparent red claw holding a spiraling purple ball of chakra in its grasp shooting out of the ground into his chest until it was already grinding into his chest relentlessly, forcing Han's body up and discharging the attack into the air… where it exploded with the power of a small nuke in the sky that could be seen, heard, and felt for miles in every direction.

" **!"** Naruto roared at the top of his lungs as his attack connected with Han's body, his Presence raging at full blast, and he pumped as much chakra into his attack as he could through his extended arms. A giant bulge appeared in the ground in front of Naruto before shooting forward, earth being forced up by its passage indicating the path his arm had secretly traveled towards his target, before it reached the orb that was still grinding into the stunned jinchūriki, which expanded to impossibly huge dimensions. Soon enough, the purple sphere had grown to dwarf the average size of a full blast sage chakra fueled giant Rasengan. The nearby shinobi could not even see Han's body anymore through the bright light that the attack was giving off and the massive amounts of debris it kicked up in the process.

As soon as the attack reached its final size, it bolted forward, taking its target with it as it dug out a trench in the already trashed earth until it collided with the edge of the crater… and exploded with enough force that it was almost akin to a Bijū Dama itself.

"Damn it, Naruto!" Kakashi grunted as he shielded himself from the blast which was fortunately directed away from everyone present and his teammates. "The next time you make a plan for me, make sure that you don't destroy the target before I can do my job!"

"What the fuck is this kid?" Kurotsuchi swore as she too shielded herself from the blast.

"The fight might end with this…" Tenzo grunted as he protected himself and some nearby ANBU with a wooden half dome that he had made just before the blast. "But… odds aren't good that Iwa will just leave us alone after the mission is done…"

No one there could tell how long it took for the dust and debris to settle, but regardless, all the shinobi there remained on guard for the possibility that Han was still in fighting shape. They watched as the clouds receded to see the image of yet another inhumanly massive crater display itself in front of their eyes. As more and more of the dust settled silently, the shinobi there gradually began to calm down as well…

Kakashi, being the closest one to the crater, was the first one to confirm Han's still figure lying on the bottom of the hole. Covered in dust and wounds but showing no signs of demonic chakra and bearing almost no shreds of his famous blood red armor, the man's now stripped bare and burnt body laid unmoving save for the faintest hint of breathing. ' _His armor must have given him the additional protection needed to barely survive that attack…'_ Kakashi mused as he noted the scars that littered the man's body. ' _It seems that his life as a jinchūriki hasn't been kind to him either, unfortunately…'_

He turned to the closest ANBU there. "He's alive, but also unconscious and not using his beast's power anymore. Heal and seal him so that he remains unconscious and unable to access the Gobi's power."

The soldiers he addressed stared at him for a moment as they attempted to regain their bearings before nodding slowly and silently performing their job.

Kakashi sighed as he watched the three squads jump towards the massive man and get to work before turning his attention to his student, who was stumbling towards him slowly and breathing harshly, his shroud all but gone and donning only one tail now. "You know, you could have left us some action, Naruto." Kakashi joked casually, despite the wary looks the rest of his men were giving the boy. "I mean, I brought all these men here to be safe… and you hogged all the fun for yourself…"

The blonde feral looking boy glared at his teacher tiredly before snorting. "That's what happens… when you're late for everything you do in life… Sensei." He paused before looking down at where Han was being treated. "… I won…" He muttered tiredly, the last dregs of the Kyūbi's chakra now finally leaving him.

"And then some." Kakashi nodded, ready to support his student as his eyes began to droop. "You really are unpredictable, you know that?"

"If I wasn't… I'd be dead…" The blonde boy smirked weakly as he wavered from side to side. "The… others?"

"They're alive, Naruto." Kakashi nodded. "Beaten up, but alive and being taken care of as we speak. We're not that far from Konoha either, so Tsunade-sama can heal anything that we can't here." He put his hand on the boy's shoulder to support him. "Rest. You'll need as much as you can right now, and you deserve even more…"

"Thanks…" The boy nodded as his eyes wearily closed on themselves just as his legs gave out.

o. o. o.

In the forest on the far side of the crater…

A single figure chuckled lightly as she walked out from behind a tree, as if she had just appeared from the darkness. "So brother, what are your thoughts on the kid's progress?"

A second figure walked appeared, this one phasing in from thin air as if he was a spirit. "Impressive… for his first real unexpected fight…" He mused aridly before leaning against a tree. "The timelines are diverging more distinctly now…"

"Good…" The female said casually. "It will keep everyone on their toes and give us some more entertainment…" She stretched her limbs. "The setup should be quite interesting and fresh when you return in three years…"

"Oh, I can only imagine." The male grinned eagerly as he watched the shinobi take their charges before splitting into two groups, the smaller heading back into the forest where the wounded teens were resting, and the main group that was searching for survivors and proof that all the prisoners died in the war zone. "It would be best if you didn't interfere in the fights anymore, though…"

"Oh?" The woman pouted innocently. "Whatever did I do?"

The male snorted. "Please. That mole who was experienced in close ranged combat happened to trip just as the fight was heating up and gave the girl the opening she needed? That that particular stone didn't just happen to rise a few centimeters at the last moment by coincidence? Come now, you know that I'm not THAT blind, sister…"

"Oh poo. And here I thought that you wouldn't notice…" The female chuckled in mock depression before turning to the shadows once more. "I will be heading back now, dear brother. No doubt there will be much commotion in the village once word of this event reaches everyone's ears…" She began to disappear into the darkness. "Are you coming?"

"In a bit, sister." The male assured the woman while disappearing into thin air. "I want to watch things on this end for a bit longer…" Both of them were now gone to the visible eye now, but the dregs of the power they possessed could still be felt by those who knew what to look for.

"I have a feeling that the show here isn't quite finished yet…"

o. o. o.

Omake: Ōgakari music improvisation time (My sister thought of the first verse… I found the rest… and we have yet to stop laughing):

Ghost, Crypt, and Shadow stood in front of the Hokage's tower on a makeshift stage, complete with speakers and microphones, and donning smiles that told everyone there that they were about to do something suicidal.

"Shizune, open the window." Tsunade ordered her assistant. "I fear that I might shatter it in the next few minutes in a possible blind rage as I attempt to vivisect those two."

"Oooooooooh!" The siblings began to sing out in harmony, causing any smart being to edge away from them in order to stay alive.

"Do your boobs hang low? Do they waddle to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?"

No one there could say anything as they stared at the trio in disbelief as they sung out to Tsunade perfectly in the most unglorifying way possible.

"Do your boobs hang high? Do they reach up to the sky? Do they wrinkle when they're wet? Do they straighten when they're dry? Can you wave them at your neighbor with an element of flavor? Do your boobs hang high?"

"I'm not healing them after this." Waltz stated simply from the roof of a nearby building while Scabbard videotaped the entire thing. "It's amusing… but I am not going to be an accomplice at all in this…"

"Be quiet, you." Scabbard chided. "I'm making money here."

"Do your boobs hang wide? Do they flap from side to side? Do they wave in the breeze from the slightest little sneeze? Can you soar above the nation with a feeling of elevation? Do your boobs hang wide?"

"I really should stop them…" Jiraiya gasped out between breaths before laughing hard and silently from an alleyway. "I really should… but… I just can't! Whahahahaha!"

"Do your boobs fall off when you give a great big cough? Do they lie there on the ground or bounce up at every sound? Can you stick them in your pocket just like legend Davy Crocket? Do your boobs fall off?"

"THAT'S IT!" Tsunade's roar was heard clearly by everyone there as the woman herself jumped out of her office window in a blind rage… wielding her desk as a makeshift club…

The following beating that took place was so gruesome that it was forevermore recorded in Konoha's history books as the single most violent domestic disturbance ever to take place of all time…

o. o. o.

And now a word from the Ōgakari:

Shadow, Waltz, Scabbard, Crypt and Ghost all sat professionally at a desk facing the readers.

"Hello everyone." Shadow greeted politely. "We are here today to clarify some things for you to make your lives easier. The first subject is the large gap between this chapter and the last one. As you may or may not know, Third Fang has another story up called From Fake Dreams, which is a Fate Stay Night fic that has gained a fair amount of popularity. As his stories and chapters are fairly long, it takes a while for him to make them. Please rest assured that he is dropping neither story and we make sure that he is always working hard on progressing both during his free time…"

Cuts to the Third Fang, chained to a wall and in front of a laptop. "WWWWRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" The cursed weapon shrieked violently before hammering and slicing the piece of electronics to miniscule pieces.

Back to the Ōgakari.

"As you can see, he is very into his work." Scabbard stated calmly. "In addition to the story updates, we have another issue to address. Recently, it has come to our, and obviously your, attention that the dick in the mask is not Madara Uchiha."

"Now, while we have in the past referred to the man as 'Madara', none of us have actually been truly convinced that it was his real identity." Waltz continued. "We merely continued to refer to him as such due to the fact that it was the easiest way to address him at the time because we are lazy."

"Just to clarify things, allow me to demonstrate." Ghost finalized. "Who here actually believed that the masked guy was Madara?" He, Waltz, Shadow and Scabbard raised a hand while Crypt raised a leg. "Third Fang? What about you?"

Whoosh whoosh thunk.

The demonic scythe flew through the air and embedded itself into Shadow's forehead.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" The woman screamed in shock and pain as she jumped up and began to run around frantically. "Get it out! Get it out! It's going for my braaaaaiiiinnnn!"

"As you can see, Third Fang has also predicted that this is the case." Ghost stated professionally, ignoring Shadow's pleas for aid. "The fake Madara's situation has already been taken into account and has been planned for accordingly. Please just remember that when we refer to the masked prick as Madara, we are merely doing so because the other characters in the universe recognize him as such, and it would be too much of a pain, not to mention ruin a great amount of entertainment for us, if we informed the others otherwise until the time was right."

The non-maimed Ōgakari bowed politely. "Thank you for your time and for continuing to read our story…"

"Fuck those assholes and help me already!" Shadow roared as she ran behind the group at insane speeds with the scythe still embedded into her forehead…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah… epic fight was epic epicness... but is it all over?

So onto other news. From Fake Dreams, my other fic which really does have a strong fan base already, has a TV tropes page now… but it is tiny at the moment and I'm not really a trope editing person guy thing.

If you haven't found out about it yet, my sister also set up a deviantart page club for all fans and artworks dedicated to YAWALEH. The link is on my profile so check it out. Look at both collections since they differ a bit and each have their own epic drawings in them if you haven't checked them out yet.

So… my brain is fried at the moment. It's about 1:30 now, and I think I mentioned everything I wanted to say… I think.

So REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! GORGE YOURSELF ON THE EPIC EPICNESS OF EPIC PORPORTIONS! AND REVIEW AGAIN!


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 72: And now by popular demand, major mutual high level ass kicking! Hail to the king and drown in the epicness!

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!" Naruto swore constantly as he ran towards where he sensed most of his teammate's drastically fading signatures. He knew it was a risky move to let his team handle the stragglers. He knew there was a chance that things could go bad. He knew that his luck had a tendency to skin half his body at the worst times on these missions. But damn it, he didn't expect someone with enough chakra to rival him to just appear out of fucking NOWHERE and start tearing apart his team! Everyone other than Hinata was so injured that they could barely be detected, and Hinata's was fading so fast that it wouldn't take long for her to match their situation. It didn't help him that the girl had frantically tried to contact him over the radio for help, stammering Neji's name several times before a loud noise had drowned out her voice and the link went silent.

There were so many of his friends falling so quickly. He didn't know if some were alive or not. His fear was beginning to spike as he ran as fast as he could…

It was almost like the final battle against Madara all over again…

" _Naruto! Calm down!"_ Minato's voice shouted to him from his subconscious. _"If you panic too much, you won't be able to figure out a way to help them in the first place!"_

"I know that, damn it, but I'm not close enough to tell where everyone is physically!" The boy growled, not even bothering to make sure he only thought what he said.

" ** _Running and panicking are unrelated things, you idiot…"_** The Kyūbi's voice echoed almost condescendingly. **_"Even if you come across something that will make you do something foolish, don't let your stupid human emotions get the better of your judgment and priorities like every other fool on the planet. That will only make you regress into the child that you once were and run in screaming nonsense."_** A dark chuckle was heard.

**_"Remember what that irrational immortal told you. It's easier to think of ways to torture your opponents horrifically when you are lucid. You humans may be weak and pathetic, but one of the few things that I am somewhat envious of you is your ingenuity when it comes to inflicting pain onto others. Your tools and knowledge of anatomy is something I am obviously unable to exploit due to our size difference… though my chakra's effect on your kind makes up for it for the most part… perhaps you could consider using it to make your unknown target suffer before killing him…"_ **

"If this prick went too far, Kyūbi… I'll let you even choose how long to let him stew in your juices… that is, after I maim the bastard so that he'd never be a functioning member of society again, of course…" The blonde growled darkly, shocking his parents significantly on how willing Naruto was willing to torture another person.

" _Naruto! Where did that come from?"_ Kushina asked in surprise. _"You're normally more in control of yourself than this!"_

The blonde teen bit his lips so hard that he drew blood. "… This isn't the first time things have been like this for me…" Brief flashes of a wasted plot of land littered with bodies and wounded allies filled his mind. "This is just… like the last fight against Madara… all over again…"

" _What?"_ Minato asked both in shock and realization. _"Naruto… what happened?"_

The blonde grit his teeth. "We were doing well and holding our own against Akatsuki when Danzō betrayed us. You guys know that much… but I was the last one to get captured." Flashes of the event passed through his mind. "I had a good shot at killing Kabuto and Zetsu at once when Madara showed up with a bunch of ROOT agents holding everyone at knifepoint. I… couldn't do anything at the time." He lowered his head in shame. "They yelled at me to keep fighting, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't risk having them die in front of me like Hinata-chan almost did when Nagato attacked… so I turned myself in…" He sighed. "To be honest, I was thinking that I could manage to pull something off during the extraction process at the last moment like I normally am able to do since it took so long… but well… I couldn't, and that's when Ero-nii showed up."

" _This time is different, though…"_ Minato's voice warned and commented hesitantly. _"Your enemy doesn't want to capture you… they want to kill you, and odds are they'll use as many dirty tricks as possible to do it…"_

"And my friends unfortunately qualify as a means to a trick." The blonde muttered darkly. "There's no time to summon someone or let you guys out to help either…" He breathed out slowly. "Mom. Dad. Go over with me all the fast tricks that I can pull off that can catch people off guard when I'm standing in front of them… Even if I can't remember them all… it will help distract me from jumping in to kill this bastard the moment I see him…"

o. o. o.

Hinata yelled in pain as she took another glancing blow from Han and crashed into another pile of rubble.

"Heh… Namikaze better show up soon, girl…" Han laughed maliciously as he pulled back his free arm, his other one still holding onto Neji, albeit now his grasp was now on the boy's clothes in order to make sure he didn't die… just yet, at least. "I don't think you'll be able to protect your worthless little friends for much longer…" He started to walk casually to Ino, who was trying her hardest to crawl away despite having one of her legs and a hand broken, meaning she couldn't move or use any ninjutsu. "Although… I wouldn't be surprised if he was just some coward and ran away like a smart man. Even a fool can tell I'm strong… and only an idiot would sacrifice his life for others…"

Hinata grimaced as she slowly picked herself up, despite the protests in her body. One of her arms was broken in 3 places, and a few of her ribs were in just as bad shape. So many of her other body parts were bruised that she didn't even bother to keep tabs on them. This… monster's physical strength was inhuman. Even though she managed to somehow prevent herself and her friends from getting hit directly each time the man attempted to finish them off, she still wound up feeling as if she was hit with a sledgehammer. "Naruto-kun… will come…" She hissed as she began to move in order to get Ino out of the way. "He's not… a coward…"

The man in red armor snorted. "Suit yourself, girl. I'll just keep on killing time playing around with you and your little friends until he shows up… or you all die. I can do either one…" His eyes, which were the only visible part of his face, leered in a way that meant that he was smiling cruelly. Moving far faster than before, he rushed to Ino and stomped his foot down, causing the earth to rumble and explode from underneath her. "Though I would prefer if I got to do both…" He mused as he turned a small bit to see Hinata panting a fair distance away with Ino in her arms. "I am somewhat impressed that you lasted this long though, girl. Most cowards would have abandoned their teammates by now… you're pretty quick too…" He turned to Lee's direction. Unlike most of the other shinobi there, the boy green wonder was completely unconscious, being that he was unfortunately the first one to be caught off guard by the man's attack and thus took the most damage. A very brief look at the boy's insides told Hinata that he had several broken ribs, a broken arm and leg, a minor concussion and a fractured skull. It was nothing life threatening as of yet, but needless to say, he would not be able to get back up soon. "Humph. Konoha shinobi are just hypocrites, preaching about comradeship and all that weak shit. Sooner or later, everyone betrays everyone else…"

"You're… wrong…" A third voice grunted, causing Han to look at the boy whose eye he had gouged out several minutes earlier. Glaring back at him with his one good eye, Neji grit his teeth and gripped the man's arm as much as possible. "We… won't sell out our friends… ever…" He panted. Even breathing was almost too much, as the damage to his body and eye threatened to make him pass out due to the pain, let alone channeling chakra and attempting to escape somehow.

"… Is that so?" Han mused almost curiously, causing a small lull in the tension there… before suddenly slamming Neji down into the ground so hard that it cracked, stunning everyone watching. The boy in question opened his mouth and opened both his eyelids in a silent scream that was heard by everyone there as blood shot from his mouth before he passed out due to the pain and damage. "How pathetically predictable and dull…" The attacker grunted in disappointment.

"Neji!" Hinata yelled, temporarily forgetting the horrible condition she herself was in and attempted to run to help her cousin. She moved as fast as she could in an attempt to help him, but was interrupted by a powerful kick to her stomach that launched her into an upturned boulder. Like with Neji, the impact caused the stone behind her to break. Unlike her cousin, she had somehow managed to retain her consciousness as she collapsed to the ground… though it did her little good, as she was unable to move with the new damage she had sustained. "Wh-why?" She coughed up blood and hazily looked at the man in front of her.

Han snorted as he walked to the girl with Neji still in hand. "Humph. Brats are so ignorant these days. I already told you. I want to kill Namikaze's son. It's as simple as that. If you had had all just shut up or pleaded for a quick death, I may have given it to you… but now I'm just going to draw this out, maybe cause a slow fatal wound for one of you when he gets here… if one of you lasts that long, at least…" He walked to Hinata, clearly not amused with the girl anymore as he suddenly stopped and looked down to see several black snakes wrapped around his legs. "Hm… well at least one of you actually has some fight left in him…" The jinchūriki snorted before scalding hot steam shot out from his armor's plates and burned away the ink constructs. "It won't change anything, but at least it makes things less dull…"

"Damn…" Sai grit his teeth as he slowly attempted to draw another construct, which was harder to do than he thought given one of his arms was broken and the other was dislocated. Out of the shinobi there, he was the only one that was capable of buying time. Ino couldn't use any jutsu; Kiba, Lee and now Neji were unconscious; Kin's techniques were near useless unless she had the time to set things up and could manage to get to a solid hiding spot in time, and Hinata was on her last legs. The boy was still a bit hesitant to admit it, but he was actually rather attached to his teammates and his newfound… friends. They were not only rather convenient to have around for missions and in terms of strategies, but they also somehow managed to make life seem worthwhile and enjoyable, breaking his earlier monotony of mission after mission like he was a machine. Granted, he still killed people on occasion, but now at least he could say that he somewhat enjoyed doing what he did…

Still, if by some miracle everyone managed to get out of this situation alive, he would advise Danzō-sama to not put any ROOT members on the same team as Uzumaki for high level missions unless they were exceptionally skilled… or if they were expendable.

"That's a pretty interesting technique you have there, kid…" Han's deep voice rumbled, snapping Sai out of his focus as he looked up and saw the monstrous man a few feet in front of him. An instant later, the boy screamed out in pain as the man's foot crushed his hand. "Too bad it annoyed me more than it made me curious."

"Sai!" Ino shouted, holding her chest in pain and watching helplessly as Han lazily punted the boy a fair distance away. "Damn it!"

"Humph…" Han grunted as he looked around. Out of all the kids he had trounced, only Hinata had been able to last a while, but even she was down for the count now. "Well, this was boring. I guess only Namikaze is actually capable of putting up a fight." He lifted up the unconscious Neji in his occupied hand and pulled back his fist. "Might as well get rid of the brats no-"

Before he finished his sentence, a massive oppressive sensation washed across the entire area, catching the attention of everyone conscious there. It was enraged. It was murderous. It was everywhere. It was… unnervingly calm.

"He's… here…" Hinata breathed out in relief as she wavered between consciousness and unconsciousness, turning her head to the direction of the source of the sensation...

A small distance away from the group was a single figure, standing casually amid the upturned rubble. His hands were at his sides and his fingers were loose. His stance indicated that he did not seem like he was going to move any time soon… However, his head delivered a different message entirely. His slightly long blond hair was hanging over the front of his face, overshadowing it, covering his eyes… or they would be, if his eyes weren't glowing a cold and murderous blue. The remaining part of his face was otherwise so impassive and emotionless that it might have been a mask.

"Oh?" Han chuckled as he lowered Neji slowly, paying attention to Naruto. "That's a fairly decent killing intent for a kid…" The two stared at one another for what seemed like minutes. Han appeared to be sizing the boy up from the look in his eyes… but Naruto's only displayed his cold anger. The elder of the two broke the silence first by chuckling. "Heh… a quiet one, aren't you?"

The space between them was quiet once more for several seconds… before Han suddenly pulled back his free fist and threw a killing punch at the crippled boy that was still in his grip… and was suddenly surprised by the clone the blonde had made in the air when everyone was distracted by his Presence punching Han in the head with an earth element enforced fist that forced him to let Neji go and distract him from everything around him.

At the moment of contact, the blonde silently and motionlessly made several dozen clones and wordlessly made them rapidly replace themselves all over the area in rapid succession to get to his downed team almost instantly, causing an illusion that he was appearing everywhere at once. In a matter of seconds, not only had he managed to secure his friends, but he had managed to recover them and return them to his side while surrounding the enemy with the extra clones, who stood ready to fight in an instant.

By the time Han had recovered from the attack and destroyed the clone, all of his victims were already out of his reach and being carried by copies of the blonde that were all standing next to the original, who had not moved an inch. "What the hell?" He grunted as he stood up and looked at all the clones around him. "Hiraishin?"

Naruto didn't say anything as he looked at the condition of his teammates. Broken limbs. Bleeding. Knocked unconscious. Each and every wound passed by the boy's gaze was registered and taken in stride… until he saw Neji's eye gouged out. His eyes flashed in surprise and shock before they calmed down again and he turned to Hinata and Ino. "I'll hold him off. Treat one another before getting to everyone else. My clones will give you chakra if you run low." He began to walk forward and focused on Han again. "I'll handle him…"

"You took your damn time…" Ino grunted, not at all caring at the fact that she was being carried bridal style.

"Naruto-kun…" Hinata feebly protested. "Be careful… he's…"

"I know who he is." The boy stated emotionlessly. "…And I couldn't care less right now."

Before Hinata or Ino could respond to the boy's statement, the clones carrying them turned and jumped away, followed by an additional dozen clones for protection.

"Not bad, kid…" Han chuckled as he watched his victims escaping, steam erupting from his armor in greater amounts as he crouched down into a starting position. "But you're going to have to come up with something bigger than some weak punch in order to stop me from finishing them off!" He bolted forward after them with surprisingly high speed, with Naruto standing in the middle. If Naruto moved, he risked his friends' lives. If he didn't, he risked his own…

The boy didn't even flinch as he clasped his hands together in front of his body and pointed his arms at the rapidly approaching Han. "Fūton: Satsubatsu Reppū (Wind Style: Feral Gale)." Dozens if not hundreds of massive runed wind blades spawned and erupted from the boy's arms in all directions save for their maker's. They all grew and twisted at an impossible pace towards Han's general direction, creating a massive oncoming wall of shredding chakra blades that relentlessly lacerated and minced everything in their path.

"…What the fuck?" The man frowned in mild concern as he and the tsunami of semi-transparent blades converged on one another before the smaller of the two forces disappeared in the onslaught.

Naruto blinked for a moment as he realized that the man had charged head first into his attack before he twisted his arms sideways, rotating all the blades attached to his arms a full 90 degrees and further assaulting anything that was unfortunate enough to be caught inside before separating his arms, forcing his attack to split in half, with blades scissoring one another countless times to further desecrate anything trapped in the attack…

… and reveal Han, standing a small distance away among a plot of land that was cut up to kingdom come, with his arms positioned in front of his body to defend himself and several deep cuts across his armor that wept small rivers of blood… but still clearly in fighting shape. "… I figured that wouldn't work…" He muttered under his breath.

"Not bad, brat… you actually got through my armor." Han grunted as he lowered his arms and glared at Naruto murderously. "I guess being Namikaze's little shit made you some kind of special prodigy, too…" Steam began to burst from the joints and holes of his armor, causing the man's form to become hazy… however, Naruto could make out the cuts in the armor slowly melding and repairing itself. "But too bad for you weak shit like that isn't going to be enough to beat me… my chakra metal armor can repair itself so long as I give it energy."

The man's declaration was cut short when half of the clones that Naruto had set up around the area jumped him at once from all sides. Each one came at the jinchūriki with their talons enforced with either wind or earth chakra, all intent on crippling their target, who in response generated even more steam from his suit and clenched his fists.

The first clones to be defeated were the ones right behind the man as a massive explosion of scalding water blasted out of the furnace on Han's back, taking out everything that could even be considered to be behind him. The first clone that got close to him from the man's right side attempted to use an earth talon enforced fist to punch his target, but he was grabbed out of midair in an instant. Before he could even respond, he was swung like a club to intercept several clones coming in from his other side.

The moment Han's back was facing the other group of clones, he sent out another massive pulse of steam. While this cloud was not offensive enough to dispel the squad of clones in that direction, it did stall and disorient them long enough for the monstrous man to turn around again and charge into their group with blinding speed and dispel them manually with his equally monstrous limbs. Turning around yet another time, the man he observed the remaining cluster of clones spreading out, no doubt trying to avoid getting destroyed at once like the majority of their counterparts. He growled as the plates of armor on his arms shifted up to reveal several narrow nozzles hidden underneath and shot out a narrow but absurdly strong spray of heavy steam in a wide arc that surprised and took out the remaining clones before they could react.

The larger man quickly shifted his attention to where the original Naruto had been standing… to see that the boy had yet to move or change his demeanor in the slightest, looking at him impassively with enraged slit blue eyes. Instead of rushing, however, Han looked around warily. The boy's use of clones so far indicated that he was fairly experienced using them, so he wouldn't be surprised if the one in front of him was another clone or there were more copies hiding elsewhere setting up a trap. Regardless, the way the boy was seemingly still just there didn't make him feel any less irritated.

"Is that the best you have, brat?" He growled as he relaxed his stance and returned the nozzles back to their compact position. "A few clones and some wind jutsu? You might as well let me kill you now!" He taunted pompously before charging at the original, steam blasting from his armor to increase his speed enough to put almost any shinobi on edge. He smirked as he watched the stupid boy flinch and of all things attempt to jump right over him just before he was on top of his prey. In response, the man once more poured chakra into the furnace on his back and caused an eruption of scalding hot steam to blast behind him, confident that he would sear the boy's skin off with the maneuver like he had done with many others…

Only to be momentarily surprised when he felt the boy suddenly change directions in midair without any warning and land to his side instead of behind him, avoiding the attack completely and just as suddenly bolting forward with his arms turning into a single version of those unnaturally developed wind blades he had encountered earlier. Frowning, the man quickly executed a steam boosted shunshin to position himself to the boy's back right side with his right arm cocked back and moving to cave his skull in, only to miss as once more the boy moved forward at the last moment, without anything to indicate he was about to do it beforehand. Looking up, Han saw that the boy's blades were gone, his free hands were making seals at a fast pace, and he was sucking in air. Without even thinking about it, the man forced the steam in his armor to one side and used his element as a jet to push him out of the boy's line of fire just as a drilling blast of air tore through the area that he had occupied just moments before and eviscerated the broken trees and upturned stones that was in its path.

Han took no notice of whatever had unfortunately been caught in the blast as he charged at the boy again, now getting frustrated that he was having such trouble taking down a kid less than half his age. "Cocky little shit!" He growled as he moved towards the boy even faster now and thrust out his leg in to deliver a powerful kick, only to once more miss as his target this time sunk into the ground as if it was water. "The hell I'm letting you get away that easily!" He roared as he made several seals. "Yugeton! Yakedo Chikara-sen! (Steam Art! Scalding Leylines)!" He roared as he slammed his hands onto the ground.

Very rapidly, the ground beneath and around the man began to shake and shift before several points around him blasted up in protest, yielding hundreds upon thousands of gallons of boiling water that shot into the air like pillars, one of them carrying a screaming blonde boy with them until the small body flew away from the blast and landed hard on the ground nearby.

"You stupid brat. I'm from Iwa, and you expect me to not know how to deal with techniques that let my opponents travel underground?" Han shook his head as he walked up to the downed blonde, who was gasping for air and covered in burns. "And here I thought you were actually talented…" A flick of his wrist produced a kunai that was stashed in a slit in his armor, and another flick embedded the metal into the squirming boy's neck… and caused him to disappear. Han grunted, not surprised at all and began to look around. "Humph. You should have at least made that setup a bit more believable, brat." He turned to look at the blonde standing a fair distance away from him, in the same casual stance he had been in when they first saw one another and exerting the same pressure as he had been before as well.

The blonde didn't say anything at first as he examined Han skeptically before snorting and shaking his head. "How pathetic…"

Han's face scrunched in confusion and anger. "What was that?"

"I heard that the Gobi was technically the most intelligent of the 9 bijū." Naruto stated casually. "It must be embarrassing to have such a beast sealed inside a coward that relies completely on his armor's abilities. Even the Ichibi's container has more diversity than you do…" He chuckled condescendingly. "I wonder what it must be like to be upstaged by an insane Tanuki."

Han grimaced as his bijū raged from inside of him. No doubt enraged that the insane raccoon-dog was being put on a higher pedestal than itself. If there was one thing that could be consistent among the non-tamed and sane bijū, it would be their hubris.

" ** _Heheh…"_** Kyūbi chuckled from inside Naruto. **_"That must have put a huge dent in Gobi's pride. He was always proud of his intelligence… and he looked down on the Ichibi in particular. To be put beneath the insane rat in any subject would cause him to lose control of himself… such a fool…"_**

" _Didn't you claim to do the same thing to the Ichibi just as much, though?"_ Kushina asked skeptically with an eyebrow raised.

The Kyūbi snorted. **_"Humph. I am the most powerful of all the bijū. I do not lose myself over such pitiful insults. I simply torture and kill anyone who makes them… besides, it was not uncommon for any of us to make fun of Shukaku at any time."_**

Kushina and Minato looked at one another skeptically before looking at the bijū with the same expression, all but saying that he was just as bad as the one he was insulting.

On the outside, Naruto waited for Han to regain control of himself and was rewarded a few moments later as the man raised his head, revealing his shadowed and enraged eyes from underneath the armored straw style hat. "You have no idea what kind of hell you just put yourself into, brat. I was simply going to kill you…" He began to make some seals. "But now Gobi and I are going to put you through a hell that will make you wish you were in the real thing…"

"… You must really be confident and proud of that armor of yours, then." Naruto tilted his head to the side. "… I guess I only have one thing to say…"

A hand shot out from the earth and grabbed onto Han's left foot from behind, soon followed by a clone of Naruto's, surprising the man immensely.

Naruto of course knew that Han had a way to counter opponents that traveled underground. Like the man said, he was from Iwa. It would have been ignorant to assume he didn't. What he had counted on was the fact that the man would assume that he wouldn't try to use the same technique again so soon after showing that it failed completely. Most of the time, using a tactic that had been proven to fail once before on a high level opponent was a suicidal move, but if said tactic was hard to detect and notice in the first place, then it could be still used effectively if something else had the foe's attention. In this case, it was a combination of the man's assumption that Naruto wouldn't use it again, combined with the boy's Presence masking any possibility that the fellow jinchūriki could pick up the clone's movement underground.

Time seemed to slow down for Han as he slowly turned in shock to look at what had grabbed him and took in the view. Grabbing the back of his left foot was another copy of the boy. In the smirking clone's free hand, painfully slowly shooting up towards the jinchūriki's backside, was a kunai with an exploding tag wrapped around the handle.

"Two for two." The blonde donned a small smirk as the kunai punctured the man's backside and a massive explosion rocked the area with a large shockwave…

o. o. o.

In Suna:

Gaara froze in place as he was about to sit down at the new restaurant that his sister and brother had taken him to for the evening.

"Hm?" Kankurō blinked as he saw his brother hesitate getting into the stall. "What's wrong, Gaara?"

The red head remained silent for several seconds before straightening up. "… I… am going to use my sand to support myself for this meal…" He said hesitantly, getting confusing looks from his siblings.

"Is something wrong?" Temari raised an eyebrow.

"I would prefer if no one asked me about my reasons for doing so…" The boy stated plainly and proceeded to move to the side of the table and used his sand to keep his body in the sitting position… however, none of the coarse material moved to his backside and instead supported his thighs and back as if he was in a seatless chair.

Kankurō snorted. "What's the matter? Something crawl up your butt?" He chuckled a small amount before squeaking in fear as a healthy (or unhealthy, in Kankurō's honest opinion) amount of sand wrapped around his legs.

"I would prefer if no one asked me about my reasons for doing so." Gaara repeated in a tighter tone that clearly indicated that he would torture anyone that pressed the subject any further.

"Got it!" The middle child replied in a high pitched tone, sweating as the pressure of the sand left his legs.

"Can we have some menus please?!" Temari shouted in a somewhat panicky tone, praying that Gaara's relapse would go away as he was distracted by what he wanted to order for dinner.

Gaara looked at both his siblings momentarily before closing his eyes and crossing his arms. He didn't know why, but he had the distinct impression that Naruto was behind the sudden ghost pain in his rear end that had suddenly flared up…

o. o. o.

Back with the plot:

Naruto waited patiently as the cloud of smoke dispersed slowly, making a few dozen more clones around the area for him to replace himself with should he need a quick escape or ambush point. He knew that the tag wouldn't be enough to beat Han. He didn't expect it to. It had two other goals: to create some permanent damage to the man's annoying armor, and to humiliate the man to make him loose his cool. Of course, the tag would do some damage to him as well… but odds were likely that, just like when he did it with Gaara, this would push the man over the edge and cause him to start using his bijū's power…

And Naruto would try to take him down without his.

It was a selfish and rather risky thing to do, he would admit, fighting a jinchūriki in a bijū state without using Sage Mode or his own bijū's powers… but if he ever would get a shot at testing how far he has gotten with his training in a real world situation, this would be it. No limitations. No political lines. No underlying motives. Just two freaks of nature that really, really want to kill and/or maim one another. If he was really pressed, he would probably use Sage Mode or the Kyūbi's chakra to finish the bastard off… but not before he managed to do as much damage as he possibly could in his current state. He would later use what he learned to train himself in what he needed the most.

Quick. Simple. Borderline suicidal. Just like most of his plans.

Naruto didn't have to wait long, as a roar of anger and rage echoed in the air and he sensed a massive spike of chakra from the cloud. Moments later, a small shockwave was unleashed and cleared the smoke to reveal Han, hunched over and covered in a chakra shroud with one tail revealed. His armor from his waist down was completely trashed, but the steam furnace on his back was still intact, unfortunately. **"Namikazeeeee!"** The man roared bestially while glaring at the boy with bloodshot eyes.

The blonde frowned as he took in the massive amount of tainted energy in front of him with some apprehension. Was this what his friends and enemies had experienced whenever he had lost control in the past? Only one tail exerted this much pressure onto a person's body… true, he had experienced far heavier pressures in the past… hell, he fought the Sanbi face to face not even a couple of months ago and the Ichibi during his first run through of the Chūnin Exams back when he didn't really know what the fuck he was doing half the time… but this was his first time that a shroud was being used against him in human form. It was… unnatural. "Just for the record, my name is Naruto Uzumaki. Not Namikaze."

Despite his personal thoughts on Akatsuki, he had to give them credit. It took major balls to do what they did almost easily.

The blonde's musings were cut short as Han's glowing frame bolted from his starting position straight at him. The demonic man's arm drawn back, ready to tear Naruto to pieces. He was moving too fast to dodge or run away from. He was attacking without hesitation. He was aiming to kill the boy… and he was too into his bloodlust to have enough control to change his course if something unexpected happened.

A massive cloud erupted as the man's claw ravaged the earth and threw up dust, impaling Naruto to the ground in front of his upturned eyes… only for the boy to explode moments later and violently throw the man back through some debris. Despite the force of the attack, the man managed to land on his feet unsteadily, his damaged and scratched physical armor already recovering from the blow.

"You're pretty fast…" The boy's calm voice stated from the man's side, causing Han to turn and see Naruto standing casually and inspecting his nails… before disappearing in an instant. "I mean, you were pretty quick before, but with your shroud, you're really on a level that I can't keep up by normal means." Han turned again to his other side to see the boy in the same exact position without a care in the world… only for the boy to disappear again. However, this time Naruto didn't wait for Han to find him as he repeated his disappearing and reappearing act around his target, gradually picking up the pace. "But then again, I'm not one that's known for using normal means to begin with… and neither is my master. No offence, but compared to him, you might as well be walking…" His confident voice echoed from multiple directions at once as his body's image was seen all around the stunned and enraged man. "And because of that... you cannot surprise me simply by relying on that level of speed."

" **Hiraishin…"** Han repeated, dumbfounded as he tried to keep up with the boy's movements. **"… no… replacement…"** His voice grew raspy and irritated at the discovery. **"You… dare… mock me with some cheap imitation, you brat?"** His ranting was cut short as a blast of wind from nowhere hammered him from his side. It didn't get through the demonic chakra, but it still stung.

Naruto merely chuckled darkly as his image continued to blur and phase in and out of view all around the man. Unblinking glowing blue eyes continued to glare at the man from all angles, while at the same time, the previously emotionless face had donned an almost mocking smirk. It had gotten to the point where it was impossible for Han to look in any direction without seeing at least a few images of the boy coming into or out of view at any time... and it was only getting worse as the seconds rolled on. "If it ain't broke, don't fix it. All hail the log." He replied simply as several Atsugai flew in at the man from multiple angles from the ring of clones.

In a show of animalistic agility and speed that defied the fact that he was wearing heavy armor, Han dodged, evaded, and weaved around all the offending blasts of wind with almost unnatural ease before thrusting one of his arms out and forcing his shroud of chakra to extend and assault a section of the ring of blondes that had been the source of several of the attacks. Much like when Naruto had used it against Sasuke in the Valley of the End, the red claw grew larger and larger before rending at the ground without hesitation or restraint, destroying any images of Naruto that were there.

Unfortunately for Han, the maneuver didn't do anything, as the remaining section of the circle did not flicker in the slightest and even increased in frequency… and in threat, as double the number of violent wind blasts charged at him and his shrouded arm, intent on battering and shredding him to kingdom come. "Nice try…" Naruto's disembodied voice chuckled from all around the man mockingly. "But you didn't hit me that time…"

" **This boy isn't normal… he has too much chakra to be able to keep all this up and still be fooling around…"** Han irritably growled as he realized that he would not get anywhere by constantly attacking and dodging, and decided to do something about it. Retracting his ethereal arm and enforcing his already powerful legs, the man jumped high in an attempt to escape the ring of blondes at speeds that it was presumed that only dōjutsu users and kage-level shinobi would be able to see, let alone predict his flight path…

… Only to be surprised as a stupidly huge blade of wind swung from the ground met his body and crashed into his shroud from above. He had managed to put his arms up to block in time, and was glad he did so, as he felt the wind chakra somehow manage to barely cut through both his shroud and the armor on his arms before the power behind it was used to push him back into the ring instead of cutting his arms off due to being wedged in his two defenses. Looking down back at the source, Han spied the blonde brat that he was trying to kill, with his hands once more clasped together and producing the massive bladed weapon from his arms, swinging them as if his limbs were the grip of the weapon assaulting him. **"That… little… bastard…"** He muttered in surprise and rage as he registered what just happened. He couldn't say anything else though, as his young opponent roared as he put as much strength as he could into his swing and managed to force the elder jinchūriki back into the area he was trying to escape again. **_'How is he able to fight and keep up with me?'_** He mentally roared in frustration and confusion before he was slammed and slashed back into the earth with enough force to match his current wild blows, creating a small crater among the rubble there.

The assaulting blonde in question breathed heavily as he made some clones to keep his ring of blonde death illusion up and running before backing up a bit and channeling some chakra into his arms to heal them a bit. Physically pushing Han back into the area seemed like a good idea at the time, but his arms were seriously pushed to their limits, and he pulled some muscles in the process. It wasn't something that some quick regeneration wouldn't heal, but he would think twice before trying something as stupid as that again…

Moments later, he was thanking his dumb luck for moving back a bit as his opponent unleashed an animalistic roar, creating a massive chakra shockwave that destroyed all the clones he'd made to confuse and disorient Han, kicking up a large amount of debris in the process. "Damn…" The blonde grunted as he shielded his face. "I forgot he could do that when the cloak was up…"

" _Naruto!"_ Kushina's voice yelled from inside. _"It's getting too dangerous! Use Sage Mode or the Kyūbi's chakra! At the very least summon the elders!"_

"Not yet…" The boy frowned as he took in deep breaths. His reserves were replenishing quickly, but the fact remained that he had used Fūjin no Naruto earlier, and had thus not entered this fight at full power. As of this moment, he had probably a little over half of his chakra left. A very healthy amount considering how much that really was compared to the standard shinobi, but it was still dwarfed by what Han was pumping out at the moment. "I can still push things a bit more before I need to do any of those…"

The Kyūbi chuckled. **_"Heh… I would be more insulted that you are refusing my gifts, boy… but seeing you make a mockery of Gobi's container while he is using a fair amount of his power is entertaining enough for me to ignore this slight for the time being…"_**

The blonde smirked. "Hey, Kyūbi… do you think I should tell him that when I start using your power? It would be pretty funny, wouldn't it?"

Minato frowned. _"Naruto! This isn't the time to think of such things!"_

Kyūbi on the other hand laughed even more. **_"You are by far the most interesting host I have had yet, boy. Please do that when the time is right. I wish to see what havoc it would cause, and it has been centuries since I have seen the Gobi put in his place."_** The bijū's grin widened maliciously. **_"In fact… should you do so and he proves to be too much for your weak self to handle alone… I will even humor you and lend you some extra aid should you need it. No strings attached. It would be a shame to let a container such as yourself go just when you are becoming tolerable…"_**

The blonde chuckled as he returned his attention to the real world, ignoring the warnings his parents were giving him. "I'm holding you to that, fuzz butt. Hope you enjoy the show…" His musings were cut short as he replaced himself just as one of Han's large chakra claws extended out and thrashed wildly just where he was moments before. Apparently the man had lost his temper and was striking at every place he could in order to possibly hit the blonde a few seconds after his last stunt. "You better keep your end of the deal, Kyūbi…" The boy breathed out slowly as he made several more clones all over the place in decent hiding spots before walking out himself casually, instantly gaining the attention of his borderline rabid opponent.

" **There you are!"** Han bellowed angrily. **"I was beginning to think that you had finally realized that you were outmatched and ran away like the coward you are!"**

Naruto sighed and shook his head. "If only the Gobi could escape you to get away from such a weak and unstable container like yourself. No doubt he must be embarrassed that a 13 year old brat has pushed you to use a good part of his power. Imagine what the other bijū would say…" He put on a thoughtful expression before smirking. "Well… I bet Shukaku would probably relate, seeing as I shoved an exploding kunai up his container's ass too… I guess that's another thing that the Gobi and the Ichibi have in common. Apparently, you both like to take it from behind…"

" ** _I am nothing like that retarded rat!"_** Roared the Gobi so loudly that he was actually heard by Naruto and those inside his mind as Han's cloak began to flare so much it was almost losing shape and causing the container some discomfort.

"Heh…" The blonde chuckled nervously as he sweat a small amount and watched the man spawn a second tail. "… I may have overdone it that time."

" _YOU THINK!"_ Kushina raged sarcastically, just as angry as the Gobi.

Before Naruto could come up with a reply to calm down his mother, Han bolted towards him at speeds that completely outstripped what he could do before… and for once causing Naruto to be nervous about his current situation. Once more, he replaced himself in order to escape instant death… but unlike his previous times, Han managed to track him down and follow him almost instantly, much to the boy's displeasure. "Shit…" The blonde frowned as he attempted to combine his shunshin, dashing, and replacement skills to put as much room between him and Han as possible in order to get an attack setup… swapping himself with at least 8 logs, stones, bodies and clones in less than 3 seconds before he managed to get enough room to get a full breath into his lungs and focus chakra into his dominant hand…

Han on the other hand roared in frustration as he attempted to catch the elusive boy, who seemed to always manage to escape getting killed at the last moment every _. Damn._ _ **Time**_ he attacked.

It was frustrating. It was infuriating. It was making him angry, and as such, it was enabling the Gobi to gain a greater control of his body and influence his actions more. Even in the beast's enraged state, it managed to keep its focus on the boy and lead its container in the right direction. It knew that something was not right. It knew that the boy was more than expected, but it also knew that unless the child was capable of some sort of absurdly strong and equally fast technique, there was nothing that could be done to stop his container from tearing the offending infant to pieces in the next few seconds, as it watched its container advance until he was virtually on top of their target…

Naruto Uzumaki, aka unpredictable personified, did however possess such a technique, and threw his right hand forward, creating a massive sphere of chakra in his hand as the man's enormous figure was within three seconds of crushing him. "Ōdama Rasengan." The blonde grit his teeth, pushing more than a healthy amount of chakra into the technique in order to make sure that it could break through the chakra shroud of the attacking jinchūriki.

A thunderous explosion that could be heard for miles rocked the entire area as the two attacks collided with one another, causing both fighters to get thrown violently in opposite directions and crash among the rubble there.

"… Attacking a jinchūriki head on when they have a shroud up…" Naruto grunted as he laid in a pile of rocks and stared up at the sky. "… Not one of my smarter ideas…" He sighed and picked himself up, brushing off the dirt and dust on his body, ignoring the myriad of scratches and bruises he had received as the regeneration factor in his body kicked in and rapidly began to heal them…

He almost didn't notice Han's massive body about to crush him until it was too late…

An almost instinctively executed replacement technique had saved him from dying right then and there, as the clone he had swapped with was crushed under the savage blow meant for the original that caused the earth to shake.

"The hell?" Naruto panted and shivered as he carefully peeked out from behind a large rock to look at his assaulter roar monstrously to the sky in rage at finding out that he'd killed another clone. _'How the fuck did he recover from being hit with an Ōdama Rasengan so fast? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even get so close to me without even feeling it until he was right on top of me? Even if he had the shroud up…'_ He froze as he spied his opponent sporting not two, but THREE tails on his shroud now.

"… Shhhhit."

He summed up his situation fairly well. He remembered from his previous timeline's reports that when he went nuts on Orochimaru on the Sasuke retrieval mission, his 3 tailed state had been enough to push back the Snake Sannin for a good while before going to his 4 tailed state… granted, the man had still been playing with him, but still, the bottom line was the difficulty level was now being set at Kage… and he was still a 13 year old kid (albeit an absurdly powerful one).

Even worse, if Han managed to access even more of his bijū's power and entered the second stage of transformations, enveloping himself in the blood shroud, then even with the Kyūbi's chakra and Sage Mode, he highly doubted he would be able to protect everyone from a fully powered Bijū Dama (Tailed Beast Ball). He could cut through the Sanbi's attacks pretty well, but that was only because the Ichibi through the Yonbi's standard attacks were elemental heavy, and thus were less volatile. From the Gobi upward, Bijū Dama leaned towards the pure energy side and used their side powers for other attacks… and as such, had a tendency to be set off on a dime and nuke anything in their blast radius.

So far, he had done pretty damn well if he could say so himself. In a game of ninjutsu and controlling the pace of the fight, the boy had managed to get through the fight almost unscathed, despite the fact that he was definitely slower and weaker than his opponent. His experience with the shunshin and replacement techniques had managed to cover for his speed weakness, not to mention all the upturned rubble provided him with a great number of places to hide, and his absurd amount of chakra, control and ninjutsu covered for his lack of physical strength…

Still, he highly doubted that by himself, without any aid or augmentation, he would be able to handle a jinchūriki that managed to enter a Stage Two transformation. Plus, he had to make sure that he was in good enough shape to ensure that his friends were okay and safe for the rest of the trip back home…

He had to end this soon.

" **Show yourself, Namikaze!"** Han's almost rabid voice echoed through the area. **"Fight me, or else I will go finish off your so called friends!"**

"At least he's still sane enough to speak…" The blonde sighed to himself as he prepared to piss off his opponent even more. "That was certainly better than what I expected him to be like at this stage."

" ** _Do you want my power yet, boy?"_** Kyūbi asked more curious than anything at the moment.

"Not yet…" The blonde sighed and cracked his neck before walking out and making a clone. The air around him was filled with tainted chakra from Han's transformation now and even walking required some effort… however, the boy and his clone took things in stride. This was far from the worst oppressive feeling he had ever encountered, and this would not be the last time he would be stuck in this kind of situation. "Just one last push… then if it doesn't work, we can go nuts…"

" ** _I look forward to it."_** The bijū chuckled before going quiet once more.

Without even giving a command, the boy threw down several smoke bombs onto the ground to cover himself and his clone completely, and easily getting the attention of his opponent. Seconds later, a high pitched shrieking noise reverberated in the air, causing Han to stop in his tracks and look curiously at the smoke and try and find the source of the sound. He didn't have to wait long, as a massive blue disc of pure chakra flew at him with blinding speed. Even with his degraded intelligence, the elder jinchūriki could instinctually tell that this was something that he did NOT want to get hit with it. Jumping out of the way quickly, Han managed to dodge the first disk… only to roar in protest as a second one appeared in the shadow of the first, curving to his current position.

The second Rasenshuriken also missed as the jinchūriki made an extra dash to get out of the way of the attack, making sure that there was another dangerous disc underneath the second one. Once he had confirmed that there wasn't, he immediately turned his attention to the blonde boy who was standing in the clearing smoke and making several seals at a high pace. Roaring in anger, Han bolted forward just as his prey slammed his hands to the ground.

"Doton! Yomi no Mai (Earth Style: Swamp of the Underworld)!" The teen frowned as he transformed the entirety of the land in front of him into a murky and extremely dangerous swamp pumped with almost all of the rest of the chakra he had in him, covering at least a square kilometer of area in the process.

Han took no note of the non-offensive technique as he continued to charge forward, covered by his shroud and confident that whatever the boy just did could not stop or harm him anymore. In part he was right, as the swamp technique, while powerful, merely managed to significantly slow down the massive man as he sunk down to his thighs and could only manage to move at a speed that was slightly above what he could do before he transformed. That did not deter him from plowing forward in an attempt to finally kill the smirking boy in front of him… with blood red eyes.

"Hey Gobi! Kyūbi says hi!"

The source of the familiar shrieking noise rapidly coming from behind him however… did…

o. o. o.

With Hinata's group:

Hinata winced once more as another massive explosion was heard from the area that she and her friends had just escaped from. She had honestly lost count of the number of times that the earth had shaken since they had been placed down and she had gotten to work on healing the others.

Despite how much she wished she could start to work on Neji, Hinata's first patients after ingesting a soldier pill were herself and Ino in that order. Not only were the girls the only two that were still conscious, other than Sai at the moment, but they were the only two that had extensive experience in medical treatment techniques, and as such, their chances of getting everyone back home in one piece were much higher if both of them were in working order.

It had taken nearly 20 minutes for Hinata to reset and restore Ino's hands and fingers to the point that she could make seals again, albeit very slowly and shakily, but it was what both girls had agreed upon before they could focus their attention on the ones that really needed treatment at the moment.

Popping a pill into her mouth and making her own seals, Ino got to work scanning and treating as many of Lee's injuries as possible, taking note of Hinata's quick diagnostic when she looked at him with her Byakugan, while Hinata focused all of her attention on Neji.

The boy to put it bluntly was a wreck, not even counting his eye. Almost all his ribs were crushed inward, he had significant internal bleeding, his face was swollen, several organs were ruptured… the list went on for so long that even Hinata had some doubts that she would be able to save her beloved family member. However, that did not stop her from trying, as she activated her eyes and made her palms glow green. Repositioning the ribs… re-fusing them a minor amount so that they would not fall out of place again and cause more damage… barely healing the ruptured organs so that they would no longer leak their contents into the rest of the body… converting and diverting all of the blood and bodily fluids that had leaked to the rest of the body outside using a rather complicated osmosis based technique that she had somehow manage to learn a week before the mission started…

Each and every body part she worked on, she focused on with absolute concentration… but only healed enough so that they would no longer pose an immediate threat to the boy's health before moving on to the next concerning matter in the boy's body. It was a poor and dangerous approach, yes, but she was not skilled enough to finish the procedure for each part in time to save the boy from succumbing to the damage that the other wounds were slowly doing to himself. For now, she was just making sure that he would be able to live long enough for her to finish the job later on if she had the energy and the time…

"… Shit…" One of the clones grunted as it turned to a seemingly random direction. "We got company…"

"Are you serious?" Ino tiredly looked at the clones disbelievingly. "Now of all times? We can barely stand let alone fight! Scratch that… we can't even stand!"

"There's a lot of them…" Another clone frowned as he closed his eyes and focused. "And most of them are really strong too… completely in a different league than most of the guys we just fought… but some of their signatures seem familiar…"

"Do you think… they could be allies?" Sai grunted from the tree he was leaning on helplessly as he took out a kunai with his one good hand.

"If not, the best we can do is surrender." Grit another clone's teeth. "There's too many of them to fight off…"

"Let me have a look before we do anything." Hinata interjected before wiping off a load of sweat on her face and focused her bloodline in the direction that the clones had indicated. Further and further she dove until she saw what she was looking for… and she let out a small gasp of surprise. "I… I don't believe it…" She whispered in shock and disbelief.

"What is it?" A clone asked with a raised eyebrow. "Who's coming?"

"It's… Kakashi-sensei, and Shikamaru-kun… and Sakura… and a bunch of ANBU… from both Konoha and Iwa…" She repeated what she saw in relief, tears coming to her eyes as she collapsed backwards. "We have help…"

"S-seriously?" One of the clones stammered before focusing more on the signatures coming their way. "Why the hell would they… never mind that, how did they even find us all the way out here?"

"Who cares?!" Ino yelled with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face. "We have help! One of you clones get to the damned group and drag Forehead and as many medics as you can over here as fast as you can! Use the damned Kyūbi if you have to! Just do it! We need to get them here as fast as possible!"

"Right!" The clones nodded before several of them ran to get the much needed aid.

"To be honest… I am having a hard time believing that such a thing is happening…" Sai stated plainly. "To have so many ANBU from both Konoha and Iwa come just as we are at our weakest…"

Another explosion rocked the distance and an animalistic roar pounded their ears.

"If they wanted to hit us when we were down, they would have at least come when those two had stopped fighting, Sai…" Hinata stated as she went back to work healing Neji's neck muscles and collar bones. "We are low level threats and targets compared to Naruto-kun and that man he's fighting. Even if we were targets, they would still have a better shot of capturing us after those two are done fighting so that they don't possibly get killed in the crossfire." She finally shifted her attention to Neji's eye and winced. Han had literally jammed his thumb in the boy's socket, but he had at the very least not torn it out through the side, which would have been an untreatable lethal injury for anyone save for Tsunade herself. Swallowing heavily and pushing down any bile that had threatened to come up her throat, she began to clean out the wound and withdraw any blood that had pooled in the socket. "I saw ANBU from both Konoha and Iwa… my guess is that whoever those guys were that attacked us… they were being looked for by Iwa… badly…"

The heiress' observation was interrupted as several dozen people landed nearby, with Kakashi, Shikamaru, and Sakura in the front.

"… My god…" Sakura's face paled as she saw the condition of her friends, her eyes lingering on Neji in particular.

Shikamaru didn't bother to say anything as his face darkened and he clicked his teeth angrily and walked to his pink haired teammate, shoving her to the group in order to snap her out of her funk. It did the trick, as the girl stumbled a few steps before realizing that she could actually do something and moved to help Hinata.

"You weren't kidding when you said it was bad…" Kakashi stated gravely as he looked at his students with his normal eye before turning to the direction of the nearby explosions and animalistic roars. "I take it that the original is still fighting Han…"

"Yeah." A clone nodded. "He…" His report was interrupted as a massive shrieking explosion reverberated through the area and caught everyone's attention.

"What the hell was that?" An Iwa ANBU asked incredulously. "I've never heard of a bijū make that kind of noise."

"That wasn't a bijū's technique." Kakashi answered with a frown as he noted the dying wind and the trees returning to their normal positions… before an inhuman roar even louder than the previous explosion met everyone's ears, accompanied by an equally strong wind and a heavy foul energy in the air blew their way. "That… unfortunately, is…" Kakashi frowned as he met eyes with Tenzo.

"What is the current situation?" Asked an Iwa ANBU. "How many enemies are there?"

"As far as I know? Only that freak in the red armor is left." Ino grimaced as she focused on Lee. "Most were killed by Naruto's stupid overpowered technique and we were doing fairly well taking out the stragglers when that bastard came when we were all together and got the jump on us." She swallowed as she tried to keep her breathing steady. "I think that one or two of those pricks got away, but from what I've heard, they won't be trying to get back at us anytime soon…" She glanced up and saw the Iwa forehead protectors. "Can someone please explain to me why the hell you guys are working with us when those assholes from your village back there were trying to kill us?"

"They were criminals from a high level prison that escaped a while ago." Kakashi replied as he sent several of the medics in his group to take care of Sai. "We got word that they were in our territory recently, so both of our leaders decided to make this an S-ranked joint mission to ensure that as little damage could be done both physically and politically…" A distant explosion caused him to frown. "… Though at the moment, I guess we're going to have to settle for political stability."

"How many enemies were there originally, and can you identify any of them?" Another masked Iwa shinobi asked tersely.

"There was…" Sai breathed out painfully. "Supposedly around… thirty shinobi. The only one… I knew the name of… was General Sinō…"

"Sinō?" Grunted the tallest Iwa ANBU. Several shinobi whispered among themselves nervously. "I was unaware he was also part of this. What happened to him?"

"Fuck! You've got to be kidding me!" A clone yelled in frustration, instantly grabbing everyone's attention. "He's using 4 tails and he looks like a mini-bijū now!" He looked at Kakashi. "Sensei, there's no way that the boss can hold back anymore without dying!"

"What's going on?" A large masked Iwa shinobi asked sternly as he stepped forward and looked down at Naruto. Judging from the way he carried himself, he was the leader of the other country's forces there. "How do you know so much about the bijū, and how is it possible that your original self is able to hold off Han for so long?"

"Naruto." Yamato stepped forward and speaking with a warning tone. "It would be best if you didn't…"

"I'm the Kyūbi's jinchūriki." The clone stated bluntly without any hesitation, causing both the forces from Iwa and Konoha to gape dumbfounded at the clone.

"You idiot!" The wood user glared at the boy and grabbed him by his sweater. "Do you realize what you just did?!"

The clone frowned and knocked off the ANBU's hand roughly as if the man's opinion didn't even matter before it turned to Kakashi. "It doesn't matter at this point. We wouldn't be able to hide it anyways because…" Yet another loud wave of chakra erupted across the area, accompanied by a similar, yet distinctively different creature's roar that seemed to equal if not dwarf the previous in terms of intensity and ferocity. "Well… that!" The clone yelled to be heard before it and the others began to grimace and hold their stomachs in irritation. "We're not going to last long! It's hard to keep us up when we're using that much of the furball's chakra! I tried to take the bastard down without using the Kyūbi, but it just got too much after he got up to four tails!"

"Naruto!" Kakashi frowned and grabbed the clone. "How many tails are you using?! Can you keep control over yourself?"

"I can go up to 6 tails!" The clone grimaced as some of the ones nearby dispelled. "But I don't know how well boss will do! That freak Han looks like he's about to go full blown bijū at any time! Basic shrouds don't hold a candle against full formed beasts unless there's a difference of at least 5 tails!"

"Can you still use any of your techniques with your shroud up?" Shikamaru stepped forward with a frown on his face as the wind died down and several roars were echoing with greater frequency nearby. "I remember you once said you could still use one or two of them with it." The Nara was careful not to say that Naruto could use Rasengan. They had stepped into enough shit already today.

"A couple…" The clone hissed as more of its brethren dispelled. "But I've honestly never used them at this level before…" It panted. "I'll try to hold him off as long as possible. Just get anyone who can calm the asshole down over to the fight already!" With its last outburst, the last few clones dispelled… just before an explosion that dwarfed all the previous ones erupted and lit up the night sky, causing a backlash so strong that several trees were knocked over and the ANBU there had to use their skills to prevent trees and branches from falling on top of the heavily injured teens.

With the last of the boy's clones gone now, there was nothing left to divert the boy's attention or his chakra, so it did not surprise Kakashi in the slightest when the sound of hundreds of exploding tags going off at once rapidly met his ears. Turning around with a frown, the man shifted his headband up to reveal his Sharingan. "Sakura, Shikamaru, two of our other medics and three ANBU from Konoha will stay here to tend to the wounded. The rest of you will follow me to ground zero and be on the highest alert possible. We are dealing with not one but two active jinchūriki, so take appropriate positions. Frontline fighters take point, then sealers, followed by support then medics. Unless it appears that Naruto has lost control, focus your attention on Han." His chakra and killing intent spiked to the point that the shinobi there could have sworn that they were staring down a massive pure white wolf made of lightning that had mismatched glowing red and yellow eyes. "Anyone who disobeys that order will be killed by me, war be damned. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sir!" The ANBU responded at once, letting their instincts answer for them as their brains tried to process that unnerving sensation the man had just exposed them to.

"Go!" The man nodded as he disappeared in a burst of speed, followed by almost all of the other ANBU save for those tasked with helping the teens.

"I managed to stabilize him enough for me to work on his other injuries…" Hinata explained to Sakura as her help knelt on the other side of her cousin. "But he is still in very bad shape…"

Sakura remained silent as she did her own quick diagnostic on the boy and paled. "… It's a miracle you managed to keep him alive for so long…" She whispered in awe and nervousness before shaking her head and getting to work. "I'll work on his chest and body while you do his head and neck. Once he's completely stabilized, we can work on the next patient…" She used the word tersely, trying to emotionally distance herself from her friends as much as possible in order to make sure her emotions didn't get in the way. "Who else needs immediate treatment after this one?"

"Lee's in pretty bad shape." Ino grimaced as she continued to work on the boy. "I can keep him running for now, but I'm not good with head injuries, and my hand and arm are not making it any easier." She looked at the others. "Kiba and Akamaru got hammered, but I think they are all right for now. The same can be said with Kin, but Sai's hands were crushed pretty badly. He's going to need to get them looked at by a pro very soon…"

"I'll finish your treatment after I'm done with Neji." Sakura stated. "After that, I'll help you with Lee. Then we can split up and help out Kiba and Kin each…" She looked at Hinata with concern. The girl was panting and sweating heavily as she tried to keep her cool and help her cousin. "Hinata, after we're done here, you're going to stop and rest." She didn't flinch as the girl's eyes shot up towards her own in defiance. "You're exhausted, Hinata. If Neji wasn't in such bad shape, I would force you down right now. I can't in good conscience let you treat anyone else after this."

"I can still… go on…" The girl frowned as she looked at her cousin's face, finished realigning his jaw, and began to heal the torn jaw muscles there.

"Hinata." Sakura spoke more firmly. "You are a good medic and you are very strong and talented… but you are at your limit both physically and mentally. You and Ino have help now, so please rest. Pushing yourself any more than this will put you in danger and distract the few of us here helping from getting to the others, putting them at risk in the process…" She put on a tired smile. "I don't know what you did… but you've done enough and you deserve a break. Let the rest of us be useful for a change."

The Hyūga girl blinked wearily for a few moments before looking at Sakura, almost asking as if what her friend had just said was really the right thing to do. In return Sakura looked back with a kind but stern and unrelenting gaze that allowed for no arguments. That alone seemed to be enough for the girl as she smiled weakly and backed up, ending her technique in the process. "I understand, Sakura. I'll rest for now… however, if it is all right with you, I would still like to help by aiding you with my Byakugan. I'm able to identify injuries and issues faster with them than most people are with the diagnostic technique…"

Sakura nodded as she shifted over and began to manage and clean up Neji's eye injury. "So long as you don't push yourself anymore, that's fine…" She frowned as a chain of violent explosions went off nearby. "Damn it, Naruto… You really might have bitten off more than you can chew this time…"

o. o. o.

Thinking was no longer allowed in this fight. It was a luxury that would kill the first one to take it now. Only power and instinct guided the monsters that were fighting in the craters and mountains of debris that littered the area.

The first monster was a four tailed beast so dark red that it may have been black, with the resemblance of a hat on its head and a large bulge on its back, but otherwise had no distinct visible features to display. No sanity or higher thinking could be recognized in its glowing white eyes and mouth as it roared and thrashed its way to kill its prey. The air around it was so infused with corrupted chakra that it was suffocating and oversaturated. Every attack it threw was wild and relentless. Powerful and cruel, its seemingly stable form was just the opposite, capable of warping itself to adjust to indecisive damage to retaliate with savagery. This beast's only goal was to rend any and everything it saw until it was sated.

The second monster took the form of a six tailed boy with blonde hair and red slit eyes. Unlike the first creature, this one had multiple defining features. Two furry ears stuck out from the top of his head, and his tails were just as physical as the ears were. His eyes showed intelligence, albeit in conjunction with a feral and uncontrollable nature. Much like his foe, he was surrounded by a potent and wild chakra, but much less dense and concentrated than the former's. However, this monster, while weaker in power than his opponent, had an advantage that was his own. The sky itself was his tool, as the air around it did not protest at its exposure to the beast's power, but accepted and melded it, thrumming with its power as if it were a part of the monster itself. The energy surrounding its body was laced with the sky's gift and the wind's ferocity…

The first monster had the greatest strength. The second had the sharpest claws. The first was bigger. The second was faster. The first had more power. The second had more intelligence. The first could warp its body. The second would warp the heavens.

" _So did I make you wait too long, furball?"_ Naruto asked his tenant in a dry tone as he stared down his opponent warily, his mental self leaning against the beast's cage, arms crossed and eyes closed.

The strongest of the bijū snorted as he laid down behind the gate, front claws under his head and eyes closed just like his container. **_"A bit, boy… however, I will let that slight pass this time, since it was to humiliate the Gobi."_** An eye cracked open and glared at the smaller figure. **_"However, should you call me that insulting title again, I will ensure that this bout will be far more difficult for you than it already is…"_**

The blonde teen smirked as his eyes opened and he stared straight forward. "Whatever you say… Kurama…"

Returning to reality, the jinchūriki ignored his tenant's raging with a chuckle. He knew his host despised it when he used his beast's real name. The tailed beast was always proud of his power and position and hated to be referred to by the one title that didn't represent those things. He really did have to thank the Yonbi for that slip when they had that mass bijū meeting back before the Chūnin Exams…

However, once he returned to the outside, his mental processes became warped. He was still self-aware and could tell the difference between friend and foe, but complicated acts such as performing most ninjutsu and speaking in complete sentences became all but impossible for him. His skin was hot. His muscles were hotter…. But he knew that it could be far worse if his body was not used to the constant exposure to demonic chakra that the adjusted seal had subjected him to.

And he was fine with that. If he needed to be a monster in order to take this one down and save his friends, then he would be one.

A small distance away in a sizeable crater, the beast known as Han glared at Naruto spitefully, thrumming with unstable power and malice and hunched over on all fours like the creature he was emulating.

Both monsters eyed one another hungrily. Eagerly…

And then Naruto disappeared.

Driven by instinct and pure body memory, the boy utilized his demonic Seventh Sense and chakra hopping to cover the distance between the two in mere instants and raised his clawed hand to rend his opponent with claws that were naturally enhanced with wind chakra, all but ensuring that they could cut through even the enhanced cloak that his opponent had…

It was only by pure instinct supported by his Seventh Sense that enabled him to avoid getting obliterated by his opponent, who merely slammed his arm on the ground and generated a blast of energy that created a monstrous shockwave that threw the smaller beast back.

The blonde boy rode the blast a fair distance before he landed and used the speed to encircle his opponent at a wide radius. The 3 broken ribs and bruised arm he got from the devastating counter healed in the time he had flown through the air.

Faster and faster he ran, until with a mighty roar, he suddenly changed direction toward his foe again, this time continuing to change directions randomly in order to confuse his opponent. The larger monster managed to follow the smaller one somewhat, but it was clearly irritated by the constant sudden moves, and in a loud rumbling growl it slashed out its two warped arms, extending them as it did so to incredible, lethal, and somewhat comical lengths to swat the annoying foe. The smaller beast had expected this and changed direction without warning once more, only travelling up this time and over the attack.

This did not go unnoticed by Han, as another arm grew and shot out of his original arms almost instantly at the airborne boy in an attempt to catch him again. This too failed, as once more the Kyūbi vessel changed direction in midair and bolted towards his opponent with one hand extended, generating a massive purple orb of raw chakra that was bigger than both of them combined and crashing into the stunned beast with discrimination.

Unfortunately, it would not be easy for Naruto, as Han seemed to shift his body like a warped water balloon. From the farthest part of his being from the orb, another head, torso, and eventually another entire body appeared… before it bolted and took in the former body, arms and all as if it was made of stretched out rubber, seemingly sustaining no damage at all before the orb exploded with relentless force.

Naruto landed on the crater he had made and growled irritably, knowing that his attack failed miserably and that his opponent was hiding in the dust. It took him mere moments to find the man, but he could do nothing about it, as suddenly multiple giant black arms shot out of the ground underneath him. He managed to move with a fair amount of time before he could have been hit, but much to his ire, more giant black arms began to erupt out of the hard ground as well. Each one of these arms spawned more annoying claws from their sides in the process as if they were weeds, all aiming to tear the smaller creature apart. Naruto moved fast. His changing of direction made his capture even harder for his opponent, but the number of arms trying to eviscerate him progressively made things more and more difficult for him to maneuver efficiently. More than once, he was scraped by the monstrous hands due to being surrounded on multiple fronts and was left with cuts that would not heal due to the residual chakra.

Yelling angrily, the more human of the beasts dashed towards the nearest arm and severed it with his own powerful and significantly sharper claws, tearing it in half almost easily. Keeping his momentum going, the teen moved to the next arm sticking out of the ground, sliding in all directions and rapidly changing speeds in order to avoid getting crushed by the growing forest of demonic claws growing from the scorched earth.

One…

Two…

Seven arms fell to his rushing onslaught as he bolted between the relentless massive claws falling on top of him like rain… but it was nowhere near enough to give him a break. There were too many claws to handle with normal means. They regrew too quickly, and he was taking in too much damage just trying to get close to them. His chest and back had multiple gouges in them and his legs and arms were not doing much better, even though they were healing at a somewhat noticeable rate.

The beast known as Naruto knew this instinctively now. His claws were too small. He needed bigger claws now. Big enough that he could tear through many of his enemy's claws at once. He realized this as a small army of the black claws came barreling down on him from all sides, intending to end him…

"▄▄▄ **███!"** He roared incoherently as he slashed out his arms in defiance… only this time, the shroud surrounding them extended and warped to his will. Rapidly yet naturally, they both changed so that they were no longer mere baseless and wavering chakra masses shaped like limbs, but long and massive demonic and transparent blades with sharp nails at the tip that resembled hands. The two blades arced out like whips and slashed through the offending assault without slowing down in the slightest, as the edges they possessed were as fine as the air both creatures breathed. With a steady rumble, the severed limbs collapsed onto the earth, no longer attached to their controller and rapidly began to decay into the air…

However, the severed limbs went unnoticed by both monsters as the smaller one could now finally see his opponent, hunched over with its front claws embedded into the ground. Letting loose another primal bellow, the blonde teen bolted towards his enemy with speed that had dwarfed his previous average, becoming nothing more to a blur to most shinobi's eyes had they attempted to follow him.

His way had been cleared. His opponent was still anchored to the ground and glaring at him in rage. This was the time to strike, as he covered the massive distance between them in mere seconds before stabbing out his claw to embed it into the beast's head…

Only to be pushed back by the larger beast's enraged roar, making a shockwave that launched back the smaller fighter violently and merely getting a shallow five fingered greeting on its face in the process.

Being already in a stable position despite getting its face injured, Han's second and significantly louder roar was done in conjunction with its follow up attack, creating a virtual forest of limbs that whipped wildly at his still flying and stunned opponent. Grinning savagely despite the fact that the mark on his face would not disappear, the possessed man savored the feeling and image of his prey finally getting caught by one of his arms unaware before slamming him multiple times into the earth. Each blow shook the earth, and each throw was even more powerful than the one before. After what seemed like dozens of quakes had riddled the area, the scarred man-beast decided to finish the job and threw his target straight up into the air so he could properly aim all his limbs to butcher the annoying gnat once he fell down. He smirked as the boy spun as he rose up into the air before slowing down in both rotation and in speed… before dropping down head first without putting up any resistance. His distorted smile grew as the boy fell faster and faster, and soon began to drool as the time soon came to finish the job…

He was so eager to kill the boy… he didn't bother to react to his danger instincts flaring, the boy's glowing outstretched claws… or the countless individual shimmers of light that began to litter all of the air in the area…

Naruto could barely feel his body now. His opponent was too big and too strong. His speed was not enough, because his opponent had too many claws. His claws were not enough, because they would not reach far enough. If only he had more claws, he could win…

He felt the air pulse as if reacting to his breathing and his will just as he reached the top of his flight.

_He needed more claws… no… he didn't need claws. His claws were weaker than his opponent's. Massive paws that could crush and lift and plow through anything they wanted. His nails though, those were sharper. Far sharper. His nails could rend anything, tear anything, pierce anything. He needed more nails, not claws. He wanted more sharp things to tear with…_

His arms stretched out with his hands wide open, as if his fingertips could skim the very sky itself.

_He wanted more things to touch and grip at the very end of his arm's reach…_

The tips of each claw began to glow faintly but dangerously, as if all the power in them was simply to tear at anything that interrupted their path and nothing more…

_He wanted to feel everything that within his reach in the sky, as if his fingers and nails themselves were doing just that, all at once. His skin would remember each object it encountered, even if it wasn't really there… and his nails would at the same time rend those same exact objects in order to establish his dominance… each sensation would be recalled… each tear would be savored… and each passage of his nail would be remembered…_

The sky now was glittering with small red lights, thrumming and vibrating with the same energy the teen exerted, his eyes once more wide open and alive. Focused and enraged at the forest that had given him so much trouble and pain…

With a mighty roar, the smaller monster slashed down his arms and claws…

Dragging each and every nail in the sky with them at once… instantly filling the air with the blood red trails of thousands of gouges made unanimously.

The earth was gouged countless times. Any birds flying through the skies there were torn to shreds. Upturned boulders were turned to smaller, evenly cut stones, and trees were reduced to kindling. Nothing that was exposed to the heavens at that point in time was safe, and everything was at its mercy. At that moment, the seemingly harmless air that was in the area turned into the ultimate tool of murder and retaliation. The forest of demonic arms fared no differently as they were butchered and rendered useless instantly, no longer possessing a threat to their original target as they all fell to the ground and decayed.

" **█████!"** The beast known as Han roared in rage and pain as he thrashed around covered in red scratches all over his body, though clearly nowhere near as torn apart as the rest of the area or his arms. No longer anchored into the ground, he swung around wildly and rolled about as if he was in an unbearable amount of pain, which was peculiar due to the fact that fighting in his current condition alone would be more than mind-breakingly torturous for any normal human.

Naruto, on the other hand, collapsed to the ground as soon as he landed. The fall did nothing to harm him, but the damage he had recently sustained was enough to stall him for a short time, not to mention the fact that he had been using the Kyūbi's power for long enough that he was beginning to feel the side effects of his condition… unlike his opponent, who was so overwhelmed by his condition that he no longer could feel that damage.

" _Naruto!"_ Minato shouted from inside his son. _"You've done enough! Kakashi should be close enough to take over now! You're going to be in trouble if you keep this up!"_

"Not… yet…" The teen coughed up blood as he stood up again, his eyes burning red. "Not… enough… yet…"

" _Naruto!"_ Kushina yelled worriedly. _"Don't let your hate control you! Your friends are safe! You don't have to get revenge for them!"_

"Not… revenge…" The blonde shook his head, wincing as his bones reset and fused while his skin began to burn due to the overexposure to high levels of demon chakra. "Have… to find… something… out…" He didn't say any more as he saw his opponent's thrashing slow down and manage to get on its feet again, glaring at Naruto murderously.

Both beasts were wounded now. Both were tired of fighting with tricks and dealing with them. Glaring at one another hungrily, they remained quiet save for their breathing… and then they charged at one another…

o. o. o.

Kakashi grimaced as he warily led his group towards the source of the violent raging and roaring, praying that Naruto would not perform War Scars again. It had been a miracle that he had managed to recognize the technique in time, having seen it being performed once before, albeit much quicker and cleaner by Ghost, and somehow stopped the 50 odd shinobi from jumping to their untimely and instantaneous death before the sky tore itself and the earth a couple hundred thousand new ones. To be blunt, he was stunned that the boy could even perform it while wielding an absurd amount of the Kyūbi's power, knowing that the technique required an absurd amount of control and practice that to his knowledge, Naruto had yet to achieve…

Though in hindsight, he probably shouldn't have been so surprised. The boy could after all also perform Rasengan in that current state as well, despite all common sense. It _was_ Naruto, after all…

"Be on your guard." Kakashi warned as he traveled at a gradual pace towards the massive crater where the sounds of battle could still clearly be heard. "Remember, unless Naruto shows signs of instability and incoherence, focus all your attention on Han first. Always be ready to retreat underground or to a safe area should the situation call for it…. Doing anything risky right now will just get you killed." He advised as he shinobi there as they slowly approached the edge of the crater and looked down…

What was happening could only be described as a mix between a savage fight between beasts and an inhuman dance between monsters. The larger Han and the smaller Naruto were constantly charging at one another and attempting to slash at the other with their glowing claws that bent and twisted in seemingly random ways that only made sense to their controllers as they stroked and dodged at the same time in their own ways. Han's body bent at unnatural angles as if his body was made of liquid and his attacks were wild and powerful, while Naruto was simply faster and changed directions on a dime, slashing with claws that could cut just by looking at them. Both were still moving at speeds that prevented everyone but Kakashi from accurately following enough to see what was going on…

"My god…" Muttered an Iwa ANBU as he attempted to keep up with the bizarre fight. "They're both monsters…"

"Be careful what you say…" Kakashi said warningly without looking. "One of those monsters is my student…"

"Sempai…" Yamato looked at Kakashi warily. "Are you sure it is safe to let Naruto use the Kyūbi's powers? He doesn't look like he's in control of himself right now…"

The Copy Nin watched carefully as his student expertly parried his opponent's outstretched black arm and swung with his free one, only to suddenly slide around his opponent instantly in order to avoid getting slashed through by a second body that shot out from the chest of his opponent and rake the beast's side instead before jumping back to avoid getting crushed by one of the flailing black tails. "No… he's still aware of what he's doing. He's just running more on instinct right now than thinking things through like he normally would…"

 _'Are you fucking kidding me?'_ Kurotsuchi mentally yelled as she watched the brat she had assumed would be pulverized by now. ' _He's the Kyūbi's jinchūriki of all things? AND he's holding up against Han when he's gone berserk? Just what the heck have I gotten myself into?'_

"That's some student you have there, Kakashi…" Mused the Iwa commander in an unidentifiable tone. "Makes me wonder what you're capable of doing…"

"Oh… you know…" The Copy Nin replied casually, not taking his eyes off of the fight. "Copied over a thousand techniques or so. High level lightning ninjutsu. Nothing that hasn't already been said in the Bingo Book already…"His Sharingan watched as the two jinchūriki bolted in the same direction while at the same time attempting to slash one another in half without missing a step. Boulders and trees were blasted to the side as if they were weightless between the unstoppable forces. "I can't take the credit for most of his training, though… I've taught him a lot, yes, but he goes to a couple of other shinobi for most of his tutelage… ones that are more appropriate for his kind of style…"

"Is that so?" The man from Iwa pondered as the demon containers stopped and split apart with a small shockwave that the shinobi there felt moments later before once more trying to dance around one another in a single area. "I'd like to meet them one day… they certainly seem to know what they are doing if they managed to get that boy to push Han this far at such a young age…"

Kakashi snorted. Naruto was now practically dancing around the still Han as the former was pulling a Lee, appearing and attacking from one angle before disappearing through sheer raw speed and sudden acceleration before appearing at another angle to attack an instant later. "Funny thing is… most of the time, they look like they have no idea what they are doing themselves…" He froze as his eye widened and watched in slow motion as Naruto charged at Han from behind, unaware that his target was rapidly storing an absurd amount of chakra into the lump on his back. "Shit!"

BOOM!

The cone on Han's back unleashed a massive torrent of corrupted steam that was more akin to a blast of raw power at Naruto point blank without any warning, catching both the boy and everyone watching off guard from the shockwave. The backlash was so large that only a third of them to manage to follow the trajectory of the now heavily injured boy flying through the air and falling to the ground heavily through the clouds of kicked up debris. The shinobi there watched carefully as they saw the boy, still covered in chakra, attempt to push himself up, only for the ground beneath his arms to collapse and drop him to the earth again, breathing raggedly.

"This isn't good!" Yamato spoke up and began to run forward. "We can't watch anymore!"

Kakashi agreed as he silently took off himself and rushed into the crater using all his speed, surprising many of the shinobi there as he blazed past Yamato and became a silver and green blur to many of their eyes.

 _'This is interesting…'_ A certain lizard masked Iwa ANBU mused as he ran. ' _The boy is vastly more valuable to Konoha than I originally guessed… and Kakashi is much faster than reports first indicated…'_ He frowned as he saw Han's demonic form suddenly burst out a large number of blood red and clear blue orbs of chakra around his body… before molding them all slowly into a giant ball in front of his mouth. ' _Well now… that certainly doesn't look healthy…'_

"Oh no…" Kakashi's face paled as he immediately recognized what Han was doing. Without even waiting for his team to respond, the Hatake opened the first two gates in his body instantly and bolted forward in an attempt to reach the demon in time while simultaneously activating his Mangekyō Sharingan as a safety precaution should he still be too slow. "Spread out!"

"F-fast…" Muttered an Iwa ANBU as they saw their temporary leader bolt away from them at abnormal speeds as they scattered while still attempting to close in on Han, who just managed to complete the massive grey purple sphere and was now condensing it…

"Come on…" Kakashi growled as he ran even faster, his right hand cracking and glowing with white electricity. Han had just swallowed the tiny ball of chakra… and now his body had puffed out like a balloon. "I'm not going to make it at this rate…"

" _Calm down… Sensei…"_ A bodiless voice echoed by the man's ears, causing his eyes to widen in surprise. _"I… counter… you… finish…"_

"N-Naruto?" The scarecrow's voice wavered in disbelief, uncertain if he heard the message correctly before very briefly looking at the boy with his Sharingan. The boy was clearly worse for wear, with half his clothes torn off, a good portion of his body covered in burns, an eye swollen and his entire body covered in blood, and he was leaning on one arm so much that he couldn't even see it through the rubble around the boy… however, he did not miss the fact that the blonde was staring directly at him with an unwavering gaze. Getting the message, the Copy Nin slowed down considerably and forced his gates shut. He would definitely be feeling the backlash from opening them later, but since they had only been active for at the most 13 seconds, he doubted that the damage would last longer than a night with his body. "Humph… I hope you know what you're doing, Naruto…" The man said as he still rushed forward but made sure to be able to jump out of the way to safety should the need arise. "It's your life you're playing with now…"

The air pulsed violently as Han's body grew even more, the beast completely ignoring the shinobi rapidly approaching him. His target was in sight and was not moving. He would kill this gnat and establish his dominance and revenge. Slowly, his steaming mouth opened, ready to unleash the absurd amount of chakra that was distorting his own body at his prey…

… He didn't even see or register the transparent red claw holding a spiraling purple ball of chakra in its grasp shooting out of the ground into his chest until it was already grinding into his chest relentlessly, forcing Han's body up and discharging the attack into the air… where it exploded with the power of a small nuke in the sky that could be seen, heard, and felt for miles in every direction.

" **!"** Naruto roared at the top of his lungs as his attack connected with Han's body, his Presence raging at full blast, and he pumped as much chakra into his attack as he could through his extended arms. A giant bulge appeared in the ground in front of Naruto before shooting forward, earth being forced up by its passage indicating the path his arm had secretly traveled towards his target, before it reached the orb that was still grinding into the stunned jinchūriki, which expanded to impossibly huge dimensions. Soon enough, the purple sphere had grown to dwarf the average size of a full blast sage chakra fueled giant Rasengan. The nearby shinobi could not even see Han's body anymore through the bright light that the attack was giving off and the massive amounts of debris it kicked up in the process.

As soon as the attack reached its final size, it bolted forward, taking its target with it as it dug out a trench in the already trashed earth until it collided with the edge of the crater… and exploded with enough force that it was almost akin to a Bijū Dama itself.

"Damn it, Naruto!" Kakashi grunted as he shielded himself from the blast which was fortunately directed away from everyone present and his teammates. "The next time you make a plan for me, make sure that you don't destroy the target before I can do my job!"

"What the fuck is this kid?" Kurotsuchi swore as she too shielded herself from the blast.

"The fight might end with this…" Tenzo grunted as he protected himself and some nearby ANBU with a wooden half dome that he had made just before the blast. "But… odds aren't good that Iwa will just leave us alone after the mission is done…"

No one there could tell how long it took for the dust and debris to settle, but regardless, all the shinobi there remained on guard for the possibility that Han was still in fighting shape. They watched as the clouds receded to see the image of yet another inhumanly massive crater display itself in front of their eyes. As more and more of the dust settled silently, the shinobi there gradually began to calm down as well…

Kakashi, being the closest one to the crater, was the first one to confirm Han's still figure lying on the bottom of the hole. Covered in dust and wounds but showing no signs of demonic chakra and bearing almost no shreds of his famous blood red armor, the man's now stripped bare and burnt body laid unmoving save for the faintest hint of breathing. ' _His armor must have given him the additional protection needed to barely survive that attack…'_ Kakashi mused as he noted the scars that littered the man's body. ' _It seems that his life as a jinchūriki hasn't been kind to him either, unfortunately…'_

He turned to the closest ANBU there. "He's alive, but also unconscious and not using his beast's power anymore. Heal and seal him so that he remains unconscious and unable to access the Gobi's power."

The soldiers he addressed stared at him for a moment as they attempted to regain their bearings before nodding slowly and silently performing their job.

Kakashi sighed as he watched the three squads jump towards the massive man and get to work before turning his attention to his student, who was stumbling towards him slowly and breathing harshly, his shroud all but gone and donning only one tail now. "You know, you could have left us some action, Naruto." Kakashi joked casually, despite the wary looks the rest of his men were giving the boy. "I mean, I brought all these men here to be safe… and you hogged all the fun for yourself…"

The blonde feral looking boy glared at his teacher tiredly before snorting. "That's what happens… when you're late for everything you do in life… Sensei." He paused before looking down at where Han was being treated. "… I won…" He muttered tiredly, the last dregs of the Kyūbi's chakra now finally leaving him.

"And then some." Kakashi nodded, ready to support his student as his eyes began to droop. "You really are unpredictable, you know that?"

"If I wasn't… I'd be dead…" The blonde boy smirked weakly as he wavered from side to side. "The… others?"

"They're alive, Naruto." Kakashi nodded. "Beaten up, but alive and being taken care of as we speak. We're not that far from Konoha either, so Tsunade-sama can heal anything that we can't here." He put his hand on the boy's shoulder to support him. "Rest. You'll need as much as you can right now, and you deserve even more…"

"Thanks…" The boy nodded as his eyes wearily closed on themselves just as his legs gave out.

o. o. o.

In the forest on the far side of the crater…

A single figure chuckled lightly as she walked out from behind a tree, as if she had just appeared from the darkness. "So brother, what are your thoughts on the kid's progress?"

A second figure walked appeared, this one phasing in from thin air as if he was a spirit. "Impressive… for his first real unexpected fight…" He mused aridly before leaning against a tree. "The timelines are diverging more distinctly now…"

"Good…" The female said casually. "It will keep everyone on their toes and give us some more entertainment…" She stretched her limbs. "The setup should be quite interesting and fresh when you return in three years…"

"Oh, I can only imagine." The male grinned eagerly as he watched the shinobi take their charges before splitting into two groups, the smaller heading back into the forest where the wounded teens were resting, and the main group that was searching for survivors and proof that all the prisoners died in the war zone. "It would be best if you didn't interfere in the fights anymore, though…"

"Oh?" The woman pouted innocently. "Whatever did I do?"

The male snorted. "Please. That mole who was experienced in close ranged combat happened to trip just as the fight was heating up and gave the girl the opening she needed? That that particular stone didn't just happen to rise a few centimeters at the last moment by coincidence? Come now, you know that I'm not THAT blind, sister…"

"Oh poo. And here I thought that you wouldn't notice…" The female chuckled in mock depression before turning to the shadows once more. "I will be heading back now, dear brother. No doubt there will be much commotion in the village once word of this event reaches everyone's ears…" She began to disappear into the darkness. "Are you coming?"

"In a bit, sister." The male assured the woman while disappearing into thin air. "I want to watch things on this end for a bit longer…" Both of them were now gone to the visible eye now, but the dregs of the power they possessed could still be felt by those who knew what to look for.

"I have a feeling that the show here isn't quite finished yet…"

o. o. o.

Omake: Ōgakari music improvisation time (My sister thought of the first verse… I found the rest… and we have yet to stop laughing):

Ghost, Crypt, and Shadow stood in front of the Hokage's tower on a makeshift stage, complete with speakers and microphones, and donning smiles that told everyone there that they were about to do something suicidal.

"Shizune, open the window." Tsunade ordered her assistant. "I fear that I might shatter it in the next few minutes in a possible blind rage as I attempt to vivisect those two."

"Oooooooooh!" The siblings began to sing out in harmony, causing any smart being to edge away from them in order to stay alive.

"Do your boobs hang low? Do they waddle to and fro? Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Do your boobs hang low?"

No one there could say anything as they stared at the trio in disbelief as they sung out to Tsunade perfectly in the most unglorifying way possible.

"Do your boobs hang high? Do they reach up to the sky? Do they wrinkle when they're wet? Do they straighten when they're dry? Can you wave them at your neighbor with an element of flavor? Do your boobs hang high?"

"I'm not healing them after this." Waltz stated simply from the roof of a nearby building while Scabbard videotaped the entire thing. "It's amusing… but I am not going to be an accomplice at all in this…"

"Be quiet, you." Scabbard chided. "I'm making money here."

"Do your boobs hang wide? Do they flap from side to side? Do they wave in the breeze from the slightest little sneeze? Can you soar above the nation with a feeling of elevation? Do your boobs hang wide?"

"I really should stop them…" Jiraiya gasped out between breaths before laughing hard and silently from an alleyway. "I really should… but… I just can't! Whahahahaha!"

"Do your boobs fall off when you give a great big cough? Do they lie there on the ground or bounce up at every sound? Can you stick them in your pocket just like legend Davy Crocket? Do your boobs fall off?"

"THAT'S IT!" Tsunade's roar was heard clearly by everyone there as the woman herself jumped out of her office window in a blind rage… wielding her desk as a makeshift club…

The following beating that took place was so gruesome that it was forevermore recorded in Konoha's history books as the single most violent domestic disturbance ever to take place of all time…

o. o. o.

And now a word from the Ōgakari:

Shadow, Waltz, Scabbard, Crypt and Ghost all sat professionally at a desk facing the readers.

"Hello everyone." Shadow greeted politely. "We are here today to clarify some things for you to make your lives easier. The first subject is the large gap between this chapter and the last one. As you may or may not know, Third Fang has another story up called From Fake Dreams, which is a Fate Stay Night fic that has gained a fair amount of popularity. As his stories and chapters are fairly long, it takes a while for him to make them. Please rest assured that he is dropping neither story and we make sure that he is always working hard on progressing both during his free time…"

Cuts to the Third Fang, chained to a wall and in front of a laptop. "WWWWRRRRRRYYYYYYY!" The cursed weapon shrieked violently before hammering and slicing the piece of electronics to miniscule pieces.

Back to the Ōgakari.

"As you can see, he is very into his work." Scabbard stated calmly. "In addition to the story updates, we have another issue to address. Recently, it has come to our, and obviously your, attention that the dick in the mask is not Madara Uchiha."

"Now, while we have in the past referred to the man as 'Madara', none of us have actually been truly convinced that it was his real identity." Waltz continued. "We merely continued to refer to him as such due to the fact that it was the easiest way to address him at the time because we are lazy."

"Just to clarify things, allow me to demonstrate." Ghost finalized. "Who here actually believed that the masked guy was Madara?" He, Waltz, Shadow and Scabbard raised a hand while Crypt raised a leg. "Third Fang? What about you?"

Whoosh whoosh thunk.

The demonic scythe flew through the air and embedded itself into Shadow's forehead.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" The woman screamed in shock and pain as she jumped up and began to run around frantically. "Get it out! Get it out! It's going for my braaaaaiiiinnnn!"

"As you can see, Third Fang has also predicted that this is the case." Ghost stated professionally, ignoring Shadow's pleas for aid. "The fake Madara's situation has already been taken into account and has been planned for accordingly. Please just remember that when we refer to the masked prick as Madara, we are merely doing so because the other characters in the universe recognize him as such, and it would be too much of a pain, not to mention ruin a great amount of entertainment for us, if we informed the others otherwise until the time was right."

The non-maimed Ōgakari bowed politely. "Thank you for your time and for continuing to read our story…"

"Fuck those assholes and help me already!" Shadow roared as she ran behind the group at insane speeds with the scythe still embedded into her forehead…

o. o. o.

A/N:

Yeah… epic fight was epic epicness... but is it all over?

So onto other news. From Fake Dreams, my other fic which really does have a strong fan base already, has a TV tropes page now… but it is tiny at the moment and I'm not really a trope editing person guy thing.

If you haven't found out about it yet, my sister also set up a deviantart page club for all fans and artworks dedicated to YAWALEH. The link is on my profile so check it out. Look at both collections since they differ a bit and each have their own epic drawings in them if you haven't checked them out yet.

So… my brain is fried at the moment. It's about 1:30 now, and I think I mentioned everything I wanted to say… I think.

So REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! GORGE YOURSELF ON THE EPIC EPICNESS OF EPIC PORPORTIONS! AND REVIEW AGAIN!


	74. I was going to get this chapter out sooner, but then I took an arrow to the knee…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 73: I was going to get this chapter out sooner, but then I took an arrow to the knee…

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Inside Naruto's head:

Naruto had guessed that something like this would have happened as soon as his fight with Han had ended. He knew that his decision to rely purely on Kyūbi's chakra at the end and not rely on Kakashi's help would land him in hot water and irritate more than a few people…

However, he didn't expect himself to truly feel safer on the fox's side of the cage than he was on the outside, as his mother hoisted his spiritual body into the air with her chakra chains and his father stood right in front of his face with a cold look in his eyes.

He was fairly certain that the fox behind him was chuckling at his misfortune, but the direness of his situation was so distracting that he couldn't really be sure.

 _'So this is what it's like to truly piss off your parents and be exposed to their wrath…'_ He mused as he sweat profusely and tried not to let the death glare of his folks get the better of him. ' _No wonder Shikamaru and the others used to say I was lucky when we were in the academy…'_

"Explain." Kushina growled, her hair raising into separate sections as if they were 9 separate tails, obviously a trait she had kept from her time as a jinchūriki. "Now."

" **Yes… do tell…"** The fox smirked from his cage, his tails waving in the air in a way that indicated that he was enjoying the show. **"I am also somewhat curious as to why you pushed yourself so far with my power. Normally you are far more… reluctant…"** He rested his head on his paws and relaxed. **"Granted, I am pleased that it was my power that put the Gobi in his place, but if it was merely used for a childish reason, then I will be irritated none the less. Please, do give an intelligent answer… otherwise, I may not be so willing to cooperate next time, human…**

The younger blonde looked at the sources of the three voices in his head before sighing and donning a tired demeanor. "I had several reasons. Obviously, one of them was that I wanted to test myself. Han was going to be the best example of an unexpected and unaided fight I would get in a long time here. I needed to give myself a refresher course on these kinds of fights before I went out training with Ero-nii…"

"We figured that much out, Naruto." Minato stated from the side with his arms crossed sternly. "However, there were other ways to go through with it. Relying purely on the Kyūbi's chakra was too dangerous. You only managed to reach your six tails state just before the mission, and even then, going against another jinchūriki while he had his second stage shroud up was risking a lot."

Naruto shook his head. "It's still too early for people to know that I can use Sage Mode, Dad. It would have left me in a better condition after the fight, but it was still risking too much. Plus, I wanted to beat him only using my power and Kyūbi's. I wanted to beat him as a jinchūriki that didn't lose himself to the beast inside of him… and I needed to do it by myself in order to make sure that he understood that I was the one that beat him. Not Kakashi-sensei. Not a ton of ANBU. Just me and fox breath." The three humans there heard the Kyūbi snort and grumble something irritably under his breath, but they didn't pay him any attention.

Minato looked at Naruto skeptically. "Are you sure you simply didn't want to get revenge on Han instead of what you just explained?"

The son looked at his father irritably. "Of course I also wanted to do that as well. The bastard gouged out Neji's eye and nearly killed all of my friends. I'd be insulted if you actually thought that I didn't want to maim the bastard the moment I saw what happened to everyone until he was repaid tenfold. The difference is that I'm not the kind of inexperienced idiot that would let those kinds of emotions blind me from seeing the big picture. It just so happened that my plans for Han involved me beating the ever living shit out of him."

Kushina raised an eyebrow. "… It's suicidal and stupid, but it makes sense… except… why did you need to beat him yourself? What's so important that you couldn't wait for help?"

Naruto smirked dryly and shook his head. "Honestly, mom. Do you think that shoving an exploding kunai up the guy's ass was the only thing that was going to make this fight similar to when I smashed skulls with Gaara?"

" **Knowing your personality recently, I wouldn't doubt it."** Kyūbi muttered condescendingly while staring at the boy with his massive eyes. **"… You have been developing that chaotic sense of logic that Sky Mother's retainers are infamous for possessing… which means that either our business with Gobi's container has yet to conclude… or you are about to do something immensely foolish."**

"Heh." Naruto snorted at the beast behind him smugly. "Show's what you know. It's both. Urgh!" The teen's declaration was cut short as his mother's chains tightened around his body.

"Naruto…" The red headed woman smiled sweetly. "Can you please share with your beloved mother what you plan to do in the near future? You wouldn't want to worry your darling parents any more than you already have, now would you?"

o. o. o.

With the recovering teams:

Shikamaru didn't like his current condition at all as he sat in a lotus position and paid attention to his surroundings. The sun had set and visibility was minimum. Most of his friends were either so injured that they would be of no use in combat, or were exhausted from helping to heal the former group from their injuries. There were four ANBU with them, two healers who were just as wiped out as the injured party, and two combat focused ones patrolling the area constantly. There were several dozen tags and lanterns set up around the area to set up a base of operations and enhance visibility, but it would help little if they were all ambushed then and there by a large enough force…

The moment he had been instructed to stay, the teen donned his meditative pose to help him focus. ANBU were by no means pushovers, but given what had just happened, having only two around for backup was not enough. He had his own bag of tricks to play if needed, but it was near impossible for him to use most of them in the middle of the night in a forest should the light sources go out. Without something to distinguish his silhouette from the others around him, most of his techniques were near useless. His father and Shadow were far more capable of night time darkness based warfare, but it was something that he was unfortunately less apt at…

Still, it wasn't as if he was out of cards to play… nor was his current hand that bad, if he was honest…

His eyes cracked open slightly as he watched Sakura lean back and wipe sweat off her forehead after treating Neji some more. From what he saw and heard, the prodigy Hyūga had gotten a beating that matched everyone else's combined, and that was not including his gouged out eye. So much so that at one point, the pink haired girl was being aided by both ANBU medics in order to stabilize him when his heart momentarily stopped beating. "So?" He asked calmly, momentarily feeling as if he was back on his first failed mission to recover Sasuke all those years ago. He made a mental note to talk to Naruto as soon as things calmed down and give him some advice on how to deal with this situation.

The fellow time traveler smiled weakly. "He's stabilizing, but still very weak. Luckily, we managed to deal with all of his significant injuries in time, so he should live, but it will be a while before he can be active again. We should be able to move him to Konoha's hospital for better treatment tomorrow morning, after his body rests a small amount…" She leaned back a small amount and looked around.

Ino was treating Akamaru after wrapping some bandages around Kiba's head and ribs. The Nara had to admit that his teammate was doing a good job considering one of her hands was almost completely encased in a cumbersome looking splint.

Sai was in a blurry state as he attempted to stay awake, with both his hands and arms in temporary chakra casts that one of the ANBU was finishing making. From what they heard, his right wrist was badly damaged and would take someone of Tsunade's experience to ensure that it returned to full capability. It's probably the reason why no one else's injuries save for Neji's required such high quality materials for treatment.

Lee was still out like a light with Hinata hovering over his head and her bloodline active, trying her hardest to make sure that any possible internal bleeding was treated and any crack in his skull was properly stabilized for a professional to heal later.

Kin came off the lightest, with a few cracked ribs and some cuts from her previous fight, but the bruise on her stomach was still something that made him wince when he first saw it.

"Troublesome…" The Nara sighed again as he closed his eyes again. "Even with Naruto's luck, I didn't expect you guys to get beaten so relentlessly…" He leaned back against the tree he was resting against and lazily looked at the medic treating Kin. "Hey, Crane. Care to tell us your thoughts on the situation? Politically, for the long and short term. It's obvious that this isn't something that the other countries are gonna just ignore."

The female ANBU momentarily looked up and stared at the boy through her mask before turning back to her patient again. "This event will most certainly cause strained ties between Iwa and Konoha. Uzumaki's status as a jinchūriki has not only been compromised, but it has been shown that he is a potential major threat to other countries… which will in turn cause many to go for his head. In addition to that, there will definitely be an investigation into this event, and Konoha will almost certainly accuse Iwa of several breaches of agreement… not to mention shame their village for losing their jinchūriki… and both will lose face when word gets out that he was hiding so close to Konoha for the duration of his disappearance…" She shook her head. "I would not want to be in Tsunade-sama's shoes in the next few months…"

Shikamaru looked forward with half opened eyes. "… I wouldn't be that worried about the idiot's condition getting out. Naruto's status has already been exposed to several key individuals in most of the major hidden villages already. To be honest, it matters less than what you might think…" He ignored the looks the ANBU and some of his semiconscious friends were giving him and continued. "I'm more concerned about the politicking between Konoha and Iwa. This event is not something that can simply be brushed under the table, even if both the Tsuchikage and the Hokage wanted to do that. Many significant figures in politics will hear of this event and attempt to use it to gain power or try to shift blame onto the other country. If someone from either side gets too rampant, there could be some serious problems between the relations between the villages…" His gaze narrowed as an ANBU hiding in the tree above him fell down flat on his back with a kunai in hand right next to him. "Like this idiot here…" He concluded in an even voice as his shadow recoiled from behind the trunk of the tree he was leaning against and pinned the downed man.

"A spy?" One of the combat ANBU swore as he and the other took positions close to the man, each drawing a tantō in the process. "He must have been watching us for a while if he managed to get this close…"

"Don't bother with this one, spread your senses for anyone else." Shikamaru ordered calmly as he pierced the man in places that would disable his movement but were not life threatening… and watch as the body crumbled into stone. "Figures."

"Holy crap…" Ino muttered as she reached for some poisoned senbon. "How the hell did you know that guy was there, Shika?"

The boy shrugged and slowly picked himself up. "Naruto wasn't the only one that was taught a few interesting things from the Ōgakari. I just don't like to flaunt mine as much." He paused as several kunai were thrown at him from the darkness to his right, only to be blocked as a black wall materialized right in front of them just in time. "… Plus, it would only give them something to hold over my head if they heard I depended on this too much…" He concluded without looking as the dark construct dropped back into the ground.

Hinata blinked in surprise as she watched the calm boy examine his surroundings. She knew that Shikamaru was smart and strong, so much so that he was entrusted with more information about Naruto and the Ōgakari than most of the teachers… however, she had never seen him like this before. He was absolutely calm, yet aware of everything at the same time. Not one step was uncalculated, and everything under his gaze was under such scrutiny that for a moment, she wondered if he had a dōjutsu…

Sakura snorted and shook her head, obviously nowhere near as stunned as Hinata. "Honestly. 'Taught a few things'? You've practically turned into Gaara." She sighed and stood up before flexing her hands and adjusting her gloves, not once stopping herself from analyzing her surroundings or dropping her guard. "Well, not like that's a bad thing."

"Try to not fight, Sakura." The smartest one there walked to the center of the dimly lit area as if he wasn't in any danger, presumably to distance himself from any surprise attacks from the dark forest. His eyes darted left and right, scanning the area for any hints as to where the next threat could come from. "You and the other medics would be their first target to take down…" He jumped to his side, forcing Hinata to scream in surprise as she did so as well just before a kunai shot out of the earth and impaled where her stomach was just moments before. "… Right after they would take out the only one that could identify where they were in the first place…" His eyes narrowed as several kunai thrown at the extended arm sunk into their target… and the arm turned into decaying soil as well. "Damn… this bastard is fighting like Naruto… Hinata, use your bloodline to find out where this guy is, quick. Considering the situation, there should be at most two or three of them in order to stay hidden and avoid getting caught." He looked around warily. ' _But if there is only one of him and he knows that Hinata is actively looking for him, then that means his next move should be…'_

 _'The kid is good…'_ Thought several of the ANBU there as they took defensive positions. ' _He predicted where and when they would attack from just from the first clone and who would be the best ones to take out first… and reacted in kind without anyone noticing the sooner.'_

"He's trying to escape!" Hinata swore and turned around to the dark forest where the concentration of the active defending shinobi was thinnest, only for at least a dozen of clones of the same blank masked shinobi to appear from the darkness and leap towards them with weapons drawn. "The person who made the clones is running away! I can't see anyone else here!"

"Get ready to protect the injured!" One of the two combat ANBU yelled as he ran to the oncoming clones and began making seals... only to pause as a large shadow bolted past him on the ground…

"Tch. Sometimes I wish I was wrong for once." Shikamaru grumbled as he finished his own seal sequence that he had started before the clones were even pointed out. "Hijutsu: Hanshō Yotogi (Hidden Art: Midnight Watcher)." The boy's extended shadow enlarged and reshaped itself into the size of a pitch black twelve point buck galloping full speed at the front most clone and ramming it with all its horns. The attack didn't stop there, as the boy then shifted his hands into the modified rat seal and pulsed his chakra. "Heki. (Pierce.)" He ordered, and stunned everyone as each tip of the deer's horns extended like a sadistic tendril and impaled each of the remaining clones at once. Within seconds, every one of the stone constructs had fallen apart, unable to maintain stability due to the damage they all took.

"Whoa…" Sakura blinked in surprise. "That's definitely a new trick…"

"Hinata, is there any sign of him or anyone else?" The Nara asked with a small grunt as his shadow returned to normal again. He didn't want to admit it, but he had used a sizeable chunk of his chakra with that move, and considering he used a great deal more taking out that rogue shinobi earlier, that night he was starting to seriously feel the drain in his reserves.

The dark haired girl shook her head. "No. He somehow managed to cloak his body from my sight as we were distracted by his clones. There's no one else around other than the ones that are supposed to be here."

"That's some jutsu you have, kid." The combat ANBU he had interrupted mused as he walked to the Nara. "No wonder they call you the Black Deer…"

"It was very impressive… though next time, please let us take care of the combat situations…" The other non-medic ANBU stated irritably. "It makes us look bad if some kid took away our kills from under our noses…"

"I'll be sure to remember that." The Nara chuckled and walked back to the tree he was leaning on before. "Getting on the nerves of the ANBU is Naruto's thing anyway…" He paused and looked up at the sky. "Speaking of which, there hasn't been any aftershocks from his fight with Han for a while now…"

"The concentration of demonic chakra has been decreasing for a while too…" Ino mused as she collapsed on the ground tired. "Hopefully our fearless moron of a leader managed to repay the bastard for what he did to us." She looked at her hands and legs. They were still only half healed thanks to some earlier healing from one of the ANBU medics, but it still hurt to move them much. "So can you see anyone coming yet, Hinata? I really don't want to think about what it means if no one has begun to approach us yet after it's been quiet for this long."

"Hold on…" The girl replied as she expanded her range of vision, losing focus of specifics around her as she attempted to find what she was looking for. "Yes!" She sighed in relief as she almost instantly saw Kakashi and a fair number of ANBU returning from where the fighting had taken place. "Sensei is coming back and he has Naruto-kun with him! Naruto-kun has a few injuries and is unconscious, but he's alright otherwise."

"And Han?" One of the combat ANBU asked warily.

The Hyūga's eyes narrowed as she looked for the man that put them through so much trouble earlier, only for her to gasp in surprise. "I… I think I see him… and he's alive… but the state of his body… what did Naruto-kun do to him?"

"From the sounds of things, it doesn't look too good." Shikamaru sighed. "It'd be best if you didn't look any further. If he's in as bad shape as you say he is, forcing you to look at him in depth in your current condition would be a bad idea." He smirked lightly. "Still… considering your reaction, I'm guessing Naruto paid him tenfold for what he did to you guys."

"I would have been pissed if he did any less." Ino grunted as she rested on the ground.

"It would be best if you stay awake." Sakura advised her friend as she sat next to her. "Sensei will get mad if you pass out before giving him a quick report on what happened. You're one of the only ones that can still give it." She looked at Sai and Hinata, the former of whom was about to pass out from the combined effects of drugs and the exhaustion.

"Lucky me." The blonde girl grunted sourly before looking at Sakura skeptically. "Hey, forehead… I know you've been on more dangerous missions than me, but… have any of them ever been this bad?"

The pink haired girl bit her lip as she recalled her past experiences in the alternate timeline and events that had been avoided. To be honest, she was fairly certain her friend's current mission ranked among the highest as far as clusterfuck missions ever recorded in Konoha history went. "You guys are all still alive. Maybe not all in one piece, but you can still come back home without someone in a body bag." She replied carefully before taking out a soldier pill and popping it into her mouth. "That's more than can be said for a lot of other squads, especially considering what you had to go up against."

"I guess…" The Yamanaka replied skeptically. "It is a miracle that we are all alive after what just happened, but it's just… what kind of mission has a group accidentally encounter a bunch of bijū, even more S-ranked criminals, and two separate and unrelated attempted coups?"

Sakura laughed nervously. "One that will probably get you a decent bonus, vacation time, and a possible bonus from Tsunade-sama?"

Ino snorted. "Don't get my hopes up, forehead."

The pinkette shrugged. "Gotta do something to lighten the mood…" She paused as her senses picked up Kakashi and his entourage. "Sensei's here."

"Yo!" Said Cyclops greeted everyone as he landed on the ground with several ANBU behind him. "I hope everything was nice and calm while I was gone…" He paused as he saw several thrown kunai and displaced stones in certain parts of the area. "… or not." He frowned.

"It was a single shinobi wearing Iwa ANBU clothing and using some earth techniques." Shikamaru reported. "He used clones to attack us, and when things looked bad, he escaped without putting up a fight. No headband or identifiable traits other than the fact that he was a male with average height and build." He ignored the understandably rigid postures of the Konoha and Iwa shinobi in front of him. "There's not enough information to assume that he was one of the men that came with you, though. He could have easily been one of the escapees that Naruto's group missed or someone else that's trying to sew distrust in our group."

Of course, that was only part of Shikamaru's deduction. The person that attacked them was more than likely part of Kakashi's group that he had taken to help out Naruto. The individual attacking them had known when and where to strike and how much time he had. An escapee would have spent their time trying to escape, not waste what precious seconds they had trying to kill a handful of ANBU when there were so many others nearby that even an S-ranked criminal would be wary. Not only that, but from the way they attacked, they had most certainly premeditated the action and expected that some people would be left behind to get treated for injuries. The jutsu. The clothes. The approach. They all screamed Iwa… too loudly. The lack of the headband on the man only made it more apparent that it was a setup.

The only issue was who'd done it. It could have easily been someone from either village in an attempt to sour relations between them. Many in Iwa simply want to wipe Konoha off the face of the earth, and while there were those in Konoha that mirrored such feelings, it was more likely that someone more akin to Danzō's line of thinking would actually try to pull something of this nature.

Unfortunately, as he had said earlier, there was no proof as to who really attacked them, so he had kept the existence of the traitor in the group silent so to keep things running as smooth as possible… for now at least.

"Any injuries?" Yamato asked warily, looking around and on guard even if it didn't look like it.

"None." One of the medics replied. "Our little Black Deer is surprisingly talented. He managed to predict every tactic and move the man made before he even used them. We couldn't even get a jutsu out before he already countered the guy's next technique."

"Good." Kakashi confirmed as he glanced at the shinobi around him and nodded, causing most of them to disappear into the woods, most likely to create a secure perimeter. Some of the remaining took the heavily wounded Han to the side, where they prepared to treat and contain him while the rest quickly made some seals and slammed their hands on the ground, most likely a technique used to prevent assaults from underground. Turning to Sakura, the man smiled with his eye. "So, judging from your relaxed expressions, I take it that every one of my cute students will be able to recover."

Sakura nodded. "Yeah, but we had some close calls with Neji. We need to wait for him to stabilize more before we can safely transport him to Konoha to get a full treatment. Even then, it will be a long time before he'll be able to fight in the field again, and that's without getting used to… well…"

"I see." The man sighed. "So his eye really was lost. There will have to be a guard on him when he finally regains consciousness. Dōjutsu users never did take losing one or both of their eyes well."

"Kick his ass if he complains…" A faint voice grumbled from Kakashi's shoulder, surprising everyone as they turned to notice Naruto barely awake and staring in no direction in particular. "He's strong…" The blonde continued. "Should be able to get over it…"

"Naruto!" Gasped Sakura, Hinata and Ino in surprise. Kakashi and Shikamaru simply raised an eyebrow.

"You look like crap." The Nara joked from where he was sitting.

"Feel like digested chew toy." The blonde muttered, causing those that could hear him to laugh nervously. "Everyone else?" He continued in his near emotionless tone, barely lifting his head enough to stare at Sakura and Hinata. The girls met his eyes and shivered. It wasn't a request, it was an order.

"Well, you just heard about Neji…" Sakura responded somewhat reluctantly. "Lee's got a few concussions that he'll need to have looked at, and Sai's hands are in really bad shape, but thankfully, a session or two with Tsunade-sama or Waltz-sama should be able to clear them up. Everyone else's wounds are fairly standard. Broken bones, some deep bruises, cuts, and minor internal bleeding."

"And we're all tired as hell. Can't forget about that one." Ino grumbled as she looked at Naruto skeptically and then turned to Han, wincing as she noted that virtually all the man's skin had been burned or peeled off. "Though I guess it's better than what that guy went through. Naruto, can you promise me that you won't use whatever jutsu you used to skin that guy on us?"

"Naruto didn't do that…" Sakura frowned as she inspected Han's body from a distance. "It's a sign that a jinchūriki used a second stage transformation." She glanced at Naruto again and saw that he had most of his skin and shook her head. "Honestly, Naruto… you really just can't stop surprising us can you?"

"Would feel insulted and honored… but can't feel now… other than pain." The blonde responded in his still lifeless voice.

"Second stage transformation?" Ino raised an eyebrow, ignoring her leader's declaration of discomfort. "You mean there's a list of ways you demon holder guys can use those thing's powers?"

"Yeah, but now isn't the time to run you through how they work." Shikamaru stood up and stared at Naruto in the eyes. "Why are you still up, Naruto? If you weren't planning something, you'd have passed out as soon as you heard that everyone was all right."

"Gotta talk to Gobi." The exhausted boy replied, not bothering to beat around the bush.

"I see…" Kakashi nodded, already knowing where the boy was going with this. "But it might take a while before either one of you two are healthy enough to allow such a thing from happening without causing problems."

"Mindscape's not connected to physical body." The boy replied. "Ask Ino."

"It's true." The girl nodded somewhat hesitantly. "If he's just going there to talk, there should be no problems, but…" She licked her lips as a sign of nervousness. "If he irritates the bijū and the mind of the owner enough in his current condition, I don't know what it could do to his body. Mentally exciting him now could cause his demon's chakra to go loose or cause his brain and heart to go erratic…"

"Too tired to piss them off." Naruto grumbled. "Already kicked his ass. Don't need to kill him. 'Sides. Can make sure Gobi doesn't go nuts again. My seal's special. It does things."

Kakashi blinked before understanding what the boy was saying. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that." He commented before turning to Han. "Come on. Let's get you to Han. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get you treated."

"No needles." Grunted the childish jinchūriki in a tone that left no room for argument.

"You know you're going to have to grow up sometime, Naruto." Kakashi sighed. "We can't have you running away from proper medical treatment every time you encounter a syringe."

"Keep talking. Can still transform. Naked Gai-sensei." The boy growled irritably, causing Kakashi to freeze in his tracks and shiver uncontrollably.

"Okay. Okay. No need to do anything irrational." The silver haired man laughed nervously, desperately trying not to imagine the horrors of what could happen if he kept on talking with his student on his back.

"Yah, mule, yah." Naruto weakly grinned as Kakashi carried him to Han, ignoring all the looks everyone was giving him in the process.

They never noticed that the boy was quietly whispering something to the older man as they crossed the small distance…

"Well, he certainly got better quick." Ino deadpanned.

"I think he's just too tired to care much right now." Sakura shook her head. "You saw his eyes when he asked about everyone else. Other than making sure that you guys were going to pull through, he didn't really show much emotion." She closed her eyes and nodded. "I think he's really going to feel the blow of things when after he wakes up and sees the condition everyone is in. Even if they're going to pull through, he's still going to feel guilty about unintentionally being the reason why you're in that condition in the first place."

Shikamaru nodded. "Yeah. Being the leader of a team is one thing. Being the leader of a large team on a mission that went straight to hell is another. When all's said and done, he's the one that's going to bear all the responsibility for what happened, fair or not." He stretched and laid back on the ground. "Granted, even though we're trained to deal with unpredictable factors on missions, this one is extremely abnormal. Naruto'll probably get a bunch of slack considering who you were up against and the fact that you all managed to get back alive. All things considered, knowing Tsunade-sama, she'll probably give you guys a long break in order to recuperate and deal with what's happened." He snorted in bitter amusement. "That is, after she forces you to give your testimony of what happened to at least a dozen different people in order to prevent this thing from spiraling out of control… More out of control."

"I take it you're the first one that's gonna interview us, then?" Ino asked skeptically while silently feeling relieved that Shikamaru probably was. The boy would be able to ask all the questions she would be asked later and then some, enabling her to know what not to leave out so she wouldn't be stuck repeating the same events over and over to the same person just because they were too dumb to get what she was saying.

"Better me than someone else here who doesn't know how to accurately read you and not accidentally get on your nerves." The boy shrugged as he turned to his side and took out a pen and paper.

"You make it sound like everything you do to bug me was done on purpose, Shika." The blonde girl grunted as she eyed her old teammate irritably.

"Who knows?" The Nara replied with a smirk before glancing at her. "Let's get this over with. How did you know that you were about to encounter these guys?"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Tsunade sighed as she looked at the message that Kakashi had sent to her via messenger bird. The scroll just HAD to have gotten here just as she was cleaning up for the day and was about to go home to get some rest. She didn't know if she wanted to hug the brat for managing to stay alive, take down the escapee prisoners, and keep his team alive… or throttle him for telling everyone that he held the Kyūbi and possibly reveal to the world that he was his father's son. "Shizune… I'm going to drink some strong stuff now." She stated in a calm yet tired tone. "If you try to stop me… I will hurt you." She handed the scroll to her assistant. "This is my reason for doing so. Please call the appropriate clan heads, squad leaders, and the elders to my office so we can discuss this. Now."

Shizune looked worriedly at her mentor as she took the scroll. Both in the past timeline and in the present, the woman only drank on the job when she had received very bad news that required her to get buzzed lest she let her temper and the situation get the better of her. "Tsunade-sama, I don't think that you… should…" Her light chiding was halted as she was distracted by the contents of the message and her eyes widened in shock. Without hesitating a second after realizing what the message meant, she quickly rolled it up again and paced out of the room. "I'll get right on it. Make sure that you don't overdo it, though. Odds are likely you will be needed tomorrow for their treatment. Unfortunately, Waltz-sama is still in Kiri, so you will have to be the one to manage and perform all of the extreme treatments."

"Wonderful. Set up the rooms and medical teams needed as well." The elder sighed as she began to pour herself a shot of some strong alcohol from Kiri. "We may or may not have to heal Han as well, depending on how bad his condition is." She shook her head. "Honestly. The brat managed to take out a second stage jinchūriki using only raw force and dumb luck." She downed the shot almost on reflex and shook her head, letting the burn extend to every fiber of her being. "I thought that things were supposed to get easier this time around…"

Less than half an hour, (or 5 more shots) later, Tsunade's office was filled housing Tsume, Hiashi, Inoichi, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Hiruzen, Koharu, Homura, and Danzō in addition to Tsunade and Shizune. The doors were shut and the seals in the room prevented anyone from listening in on the conversation.

"I take it something of notable concern has happened, given who is here at the moment at this late hour." Koharu stated as she looked around at who else was present.

"If the number of people here wasn't a sign, then the smell of booze would have told us something was up." Tsume grunted as she tried to prevent her nose from burning from the strong aroma.

"I believe it has to do with our children and students." Hiashi frowned as he connected the dots on what most of the people there had in common. "What has happened to my daughter and my nephew?"

Tsunade sighed, glanced at everyone staring at her inquisitively, and then poured herself another shot of booze in front of everyone as she determined that she wasn't at the right level of intoxicated to deliver the news. "Several months ago, there was a prison break in Iwa. Roughly thirty to forty of their most wanted and dangerous criminals had managed to escape without getting captured and had eluded detection during that time. Recently, we received word from the Tsuchikage that he had reason to believe that those criminals had been receiving aid from unknown forces from or had connections to inside his village and were hiding in the southern part of the Land of Fire…"

"I can see where this is going." Danzō mused. "Judging by whose here, it is to be assumed that the criminals have encountered the team lead by Uzumaki."

"No…" Inoichi gasped, voicing the thoughts that were on the minds of the parents and teachers there before turning to Tsunade, and instantly seeing that it was the case from how the woman's face scrunched in irritation. "Please…" He whispered. "Please tell me that my daughter is alive and safe…"

"Knowing that leaving such a potential risk in our lands could cause major issues, I agreed to send a major task force to meet up with a matching one sent by the Tsuchikage." Tsunade continued, ignoring Inoichi's pleads. "Lead by Kakashi Hatake, the group inspected the area where the supposed escapees were to be hiding." She downed another shot. "However, by the time they had obtained a solid lead, the escapees had converged upon their intended target."

Everyone's eyes widened. "Intended…" Koharu frowned. "Do you mean to tell us that these men and women had intentionally gone out of their way to attack our young ones?"

"No." Tsunade frowned as she leaned back in her chair. "Their intended target was the suspected son of Minato Namikaze."

The room was silent as the woman's words echoed in everyone's mind.

"This is grave news indeed." Hiruzen frowned as he thought about the implications of the event and how it could have happened.

"Wait…" Kurenai blinked in confusion. "The Fourth had a son?"

"I'm talking about Naruto." Tsunade grunted, ignoring the other elder's displeasure of her telling them such information. "And the only reason why I'm actually confirming it is because the bastards that had been after the brats had been screaming it the entire time they were fighting. It's not going to be a secret for much longer. Now shut up so I can finish explaining what happened so you can get an idea of the situation." She leaned back in her chair and rubbed her forehead. "Uzumaki's mission had been so abnormal in its entirety that he had very conveniently taken precautions and made a fake shadow clone squad to take point in front of his own, distracting the enemy and thankfully giving his group the time he needed to prepare a counter measure for the situation. Following this, he single handedly managed to wipe out almost three fourths of the enemy's forces with a kinjutsu that he had been forbidden from using save for the most extreme circumstances, which he had accurately determined he was in."

"A kinjutsu?" Koharu frowned. "Why were we not informed that the Ōgakari had taught him such a technique?"

Sarutobi shook his head. "No. Young Naruto has learned many things from that clan, but the only forbidden techniques he has actually learned to my knowledge have come from other sources that I will not divulge at this time. So far, he has proven himself completely capable of deciding when and where to use them, which is why I have not reprimanded him for learning them in the first place." He closed his eyes and thought hard. "If it was visible from that far away and it managed to take out that many enemy shinobi at once… yes, I have a fairly good idea of which technique he used."

Tsunade decided to continue. "Kakashi had reported seeing this take place from several miles away. He then ordered his team to take out the stragglers, since he doubted that those that had survived would simply call it quits. Among those that had survived and were fought were the arrested extremist war general Sinō by Hinata and Kiba, an explosion element user by Ino and Sai, and to my surprise Shiori Akahana, also known as Lady Spitfire, by Neji. All of whom were defeated… though there were a few whose bodies were never found from the search of the battlegrounds when Kakashi arrived."

"Sinō?" Asuma blinked in surprise. "The brats actually managed to take that guy down? He was as tough as they came."

"Shiori Akahana…" Homura mused. "That is a name I haven't heard in a long time. I was certain she died when I fought her in the Second War. She was a dangerous woman… one of the most feared and respected from Iwa, if I remember correctly… until that scandal involving the Second Tsuchikage arose."

"There is more to the story." Hiashi frowned. "You wouldn't call us here if things had turned out as well as they had been so far…"

Tsunade's head dropped in exhaustion. "When most of our young shinobi there had gathered and managed to win their bouts… the most dangerous escapee there had ambushed them. The Gobi's jinchūriki."

The temperature in the room dropped instantly.

"What." Gai asked flatly, any sort of excitement or positive outlook that had been the staple for his personality had instantly disappeared.

"The… Gobi's jinchūriki?" Tsume swallowed heavily. "How… the hell could that old shit Ōnoki let someone like him off his leash, let alone for that long?"

"Why do you think he actually asked us for help in getting the criminals?" Tsunade replied darkly. "He had as much to risk having Han rampage as we did. The man was notorious for friendly fire and going wild. Going after him on our turf with only his forces without our permission would have caused too many problems for him, so even if he lost face in the eyes of the public, he asked us for help regardless. Leaving him alone would yield similar results, except we could easily claim the Gobi as our own." She closed her eyes. "Naruto had held back in order to recover from performing the kinjutsu from earlier, but when he received word that things had gotten bad fast, he raced over to his team's aid as fast as he could… however, it was not fast enough to prevent them from suffering extreme damages. None of them were killed, but most will take weeks if not months to fully recover from their wounds… and Neji Hyūga has been reported to have lost his right eye completely, in addition to multiple critical injuries. Depending on how severe they are, he may have to be permanently removed from our forces."

Hiashi's face said nothing, but his fists were clenched tight enough that a few drops of blood fell from his hands. Next to him, Gai's entire body flexed at once as if he had instinctively opened a gate through sheer rage. "He is alive. That is all that matters." He replied sternly. "Please continue."

The Hokage nodded. "Uzumaki confronted Han and managed to rescue the entirety of his team almost immediately upon arrival despite the dangerous situation with the use of his shadow clones. Thankfully, Kakashi and his own team encountered them first and left some shinobi to guard them and perform first aid as he made his way to ground zero. No one was watching for a majority of the fight, and Uzumaki is currently unable to give a report, but what we do know is that regrettably, both Han and Uzumaki had ended up using a significant amount of their bijū's power near the end of the fight. There was visual conformation from multiple individuals from both our and Iwa's ANBU. According to Kakashi, Han displayed four tails and was in what is known as a second stage transformation, which warps the jinchūriki's body to resemble its tenant's and lose control over themselves. Uzumaki on the other hand had displayed six tails and was in a stage one state, which technically meant he was weaker than his opponent, yet was still in full control over his actions." She took out several photos that had come with the report, displaying the damage to the area.

Each picture revealed massive craters, destroyed landscape, and slashes into the ground that seemed to extend for at least a mile. A few had managed to capture the corpses, or at least part of the remains of the shinobi that had managed to get themselves caught up in Naruto's surprise attack. There were one or two pictures of a small field of lava and a large section of upturned earth mixed in as well. From the reactions on the other's faces, Tsunade determined that she got the severity of the situation across.

"My god…" Kurenai gasped.

"It looks like a warzone." Gai frowned.

"I thought you said that Naruto was in full control of himself when this happened." Homura frowned as he looked at the destruction.

"The destroyed and cleared landscape was a result of Naruto's kinjutsu." The head woman replied calmly. "The craters and slash marks were evidence of Naruto's fight with Han. Everything else was from his squad's bouts with the remaining escapees."

"Iwa's carelessness has caused this much damage to our land." Danzō frowned. "Despite the miracle that none of our own were among the casualties, allowing their jinchūriki amok to do as he pleases is grounds for war."

"I will not start something as drastic as that without knowing all the facts first." Tsunade glared at the old man. "That old fart Ōnoki was the one to inform us that he was most likely in our territory in the first place."

"Wars almost and have been started for far less. Ten years ago, we almost went to war for the kidnapping of Hiashi's daughter and the murder of a high ranking Kumo shinobi here. This entire situation is rather clouded." Hiruzen stated, ignoring the Hyūga head next to him twitch momentarily at the memories he would rather forget. "We still do not know how they managed to hide in our lands for so long without getting detected. If we start throwing accusations wildly, it could easily get turned on us with Iwa accusing that we were the ones hiding the prisoners in the first place. However, the best possible outcome is that we manage to avoid conflict altogether…"

"There wouldn't happen to be any chance that either one of our villages could just drop the situation altogether, would there?" Gai asked hopefully, though from the tone of his voice, even he knew it was wishful thinking.

Koharu shook her head. "No. Like we said before, having a country allow one of its greatest weapons go free in another country's lands is too big to ignore. Word of it will eventually reach everywhere, whether we like it or not. Iwa may initially appear to be at fault, but the fact that the entirety of the escaped prisoners and their jinchūriki were bested by two teams of shinobi that barely have 3 years of on the field experience will be more of an insult than they would be able to bare. Not to mention that our own jinchūriki will soon be revealed as the Yondaime Hokage's son… there will be much political backlash from this event."

"… Perhaps we can use that to our advantage." Sarutobi scratched his chin thoughtfully. "It may be too late to contain the information about Naruto's identity from spreading, but perhaps Ōnoki would be willing to compromise on some other things… such as how the details of Han's arrest actually took place. As you said, Iwa would look extremely bad if word got out that they lost Han and all those shinobi that had escaped, some of whom were extremely feared in their time, had all been defeated by two young Konoha teams, both of which suffered no casualties…"

Tsunade smirked. "I see. We can tell the old man the truth and hand him a fabricated story that shows how our team did fairly well, but in the end, the majority of the work was done by the ANBU teams we had put together. If the old man steps out of line, we can hang the truth above his head to make Iwa look weak and us significantly better in the process. No doubt if word of what really happened spread out, Iwa would lose many of its clients and we would get another influx… one that we technically can't handle at the moment. It works to our advantage."

Danzō, on the other hand, was not pleased by this suggestion and displayed it by rapping his cane on the ground hard. "Compromise? That ignorant ruler Ōnoki lost one of his greatest tools among several high risk men and women, they conveniently appear in our lands and assault some of the most promising young shinobi we have had in years, including one of our greatest assets, and you want to settle for compromising? Shall we wait until they attack our village like Orochimaru did, kill a good portion of our men and women before we push them back, and then wave off the incident like nothing ever happened? This was a blatant act of war feebly masked as an uncontrollable accident, and must be responded to in equal measure. Even if they were not initially responsible with what has happened, it is clear that they are unable to manage their own forces to the point that they can be trusted."

"Careful, Danzō." Tsunade frowned. "You make it sound like you **want** us to start the Fourth Shinobi War."

"What are you suggesting?" Hiruzen glanced at his old comrade warily.

The seemingly crippled man snorted. "It is rather simple. They cannot be trusted with that jinchūriki, so it should only be logical that we repossess him so that we can put him to better use without threatening international security. We have already proven ourselves to have the means to contain him should he act out again with our own jinchūriki, who is still young and will only grow even stronger as time progresses. At the very least, we would make it so that Iwa transfers the Gobi to a new container, seeing as the current one is clearly too unstable to be used safely anymore."

The room was silent as everyone processed what the old man had just suggested.

 _'With Rōshi as old as he is, transferring the Gobi to a new container now would drastically impair Iwa's combat capability.'_ Hiruzen, Tsunade and the others mused. ' _In the time it would take to train the new container adequately, Rōshi would most likely die from old age, requiring another new container for the Yonbi… meaning it would force Iwa into an extended period in the near future where they would have no or at most one jinchūriki to protect them in case they were attacked.'_

"Are you… out of your mind?" Inoichi blinked. "To even suggest such things would merely put more oil on the fire!"

"And what would you do?" Danzō countered calmly. "A jinchūriki is not something that can simply be made, stored away and let lose like a kunai or an exploding tag. It needs to be active and trained; otherwise, its effectiveness will be lessened, yet it must also be in full control of its faculties, or else something like this would happen. As of now, we have no guarantee that the Gobi's container will not give us a repeat performance. Even worse is that he escaped from one of the most militarily secure locations in Iwa to begin with before he disappeared. Should this occur again, I doubt we will be so lucky as to lose only a single eye and some of the landscape."

"Danzō brings a fair point." Homura nodded. "It is a rather audacious thing to suggest normally, but after what has happened, it would be too much to risk a repeat performance, especially if this aforementioned group decide to use him again."

"As much as I hate suggestions like this… I have to side with them too." Tsume stepped forward. "When a pup from our litters proves itself to be too feral to be put to use, partner with anyone, or even follow the domestic pack rules peacefully, we put it down before it brings us more trouble than we need. Iwa needs to learn that their feral dog is beyond their control."

"Enough!" The Hokage yelled, quieting everyone instantly. "I understand that this proposition of Danzō's is appealing, and it will be considered. However, do we have any suggestions that DON'T possibly start a Fourth Shinobi War?"

"Why not just force them an ultimatum to rein in Han and give us a small fee, or else we demand a much larger compensation?" Asuma suggested. "If they don't have the means to keep him in check by themselves, we could just send Jiraiya-sama to make them a seal… or if we really want to add insult to injury, send Waltz-sama and Crypt instead."

"I thought Hokage-sama asked for suggestions that wouldn't start a war." Kurenai muttered skeptically at her boyfriend, not even bothering to imagine what would happen if they sent the most unstable member of the Ōgakari as a method to prevent conflict. Judging from the looks on some of the faces in the room, others had bothered to imagine it… much to their displeasure.

"There's still the matter of young Uzumaki to consider." Hiashi spoke up. "Many eyes will be on him after this. He is still young and impressionable, despite his clear talents in the field."

"It has already been decided that Naruto will be going on a three year training mission with Jiraiya and Ghost soon after he returns and recovers from this ordeal." Tsunade stated calmly. "Originally we were going to announce his legacy while he was gone in order to let the news calm down for when he returned with the experience and power he would need in order to adequately protect and manage the responsibility of being his father's legacy. With what he has accomplished in his short career already, there will no doubt be important individuals of many rankings and countries that will be interested in gaining his favor or taking his life. That is why this trip is more necessary now than ever. It will be difficult to bring Naruto to his full potential with all the lords and political distractions constantly around him."

"Again the Ōgakari…" Koharu grunted. "I am beginning to get irritated by how they are involved with things they should not be near. It would look bad if word got out that one of our greatest assets was left in the hands of a mercenary…"

"A mercenary that knows more about bijū and seals than virtually everyone else in the Elemental Nations and is capable of subduing the bijū should it run rampant." Hiruzen countered calmly. "I have discussed this venture with the Ōgakari, Jiraiya, and Naruto himself, and we have all come to the conclusion that this is necessary in order for Naruto's true potential to be realized as efficiently as possible."

"While the man is rather skilled, I still have doubts." Inoichi pointed out skeptically. "Ghost is a talented elemental specialist, but his true style focuses on assassination, not front line combat, which is what Naruto has proven himself on multiple occasions of being. Even if he is developing the ability to control his beast, the clash of styles will hinder his progress."

"No." Kurenai spoke up. "I've seen Naruto train before in multiple areas with many teachers, and what stands out the most about him is that he learns something new, he always attempts to find multiple ways and scenarios to use them. Assassination, front line offence, defense, supporting roles, diversionary tactics, reconnaissance, rescue and infiltration, both en masse and for singular battle scales." She took in a deep breath and sighed. "Uzumaki can't be categorized as a single type of shinobi. He has too many qualifications. I think Ōgakari knew what he was doing right off the bat when he planned out the kid's training routine. The boy was molded to be able to perform a multitude of positions on the fly, to adapt, to render those who didn't know him unable to tell what his range of skills and abilities were in order to catch others by surprise. More importantly, he did so starting with an 11 year old idiot child whose only positive points were his large amounts of stamina and chakra and his positive personality."

"She has a point." Asuma nodded. "When it comes down to it, all our students have progressed miles ahead of anything we ever expected thanks to that clan's help, but Naruto takes the cake. If anyone can get that kid to a level where we won't have to worry about him getting taken out by unknown factors, it's those guys. This incident is just more proof to back it up."

"And what makes you think that they didn't have anything to do with our current predicament?" Danzō frowned. "Most of us still know next to nothing about that clan, and unless you haven't noticed, they seem to be fairly interested in making connections with the other shinobi villages. Who's to say that they weren't the ones that broke Han out in the first place and hid them in the Land of Fire, or that they were at least involved in some way?"

"I for one." Sarutobi countered. "I have a fairly intricate system and deal set up between the Ōgakari and Konoha, one that forbids this sort of thing from occurring. They have just as much at stake if this incident went south as we do." ' _Or their plans for us do, at least…'_ He mentally added, knowing that the family of immortals technically are just helping them out on seemingly a whim. "For now though, I suggest we get back to the matter at hand involving Iwa and Naruto-kun's group. We can discuss Naruto's future training plans later."

"Regardless of how it occurred, the fact of the matter is that their jinchūriki attacked ours on our soil." Koharu stated calmly. "Even if neither one of them possessed a bijū, current agreements dictate that the offending village or its country must offer some sort of tribute in response to its breach of contract… however, even with this, the use of the bijū will require us to inform our respective Daimyō of the event."

"Humph." Tsume grunted. "Those politicians know nothing of the true severity of this incident. They will just place a price tag on it and assume everything's fixed."

"Don't underestimate our Daimyō." Asuma warned. "I know him better than anyone else here. He may be a bit flippant and oblivious at times, but even he knows better than to brush off anything to do with the bijū. He'll probably be heavily relying on a few of us to provide sufficient information on the event for when he meets up with the Land of Earth's Daimyō to manage this event. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually asks for Naruto or one of the other shinobi involved to come for first hand reports."

"I will accompany them if needed." Danzō spoke up, causing many in the room to give him skeptical looks. "There will need to be an experienced and notable shinobi from our village there to ensure that all the points there are met during the conference…"

"There is no need for you to go, Danzō." Hiruzen shook his head. "Despite the fact that you are in good shape, you are still my age and are crippled. Travelling does not suit you well now. Plus, your presence will not garner welcome attention from those of Iwa who recognize your exploits. It is better to allow me to go instead. I am retired but still fully capable of travelling, plus my presence and reputation will garner much sway during the negotiations."

Tsunade nodded. "I agree with Sensei. He is a more appropriate choice for these delicate negotiations and prevent them from escalating. Should the need for another elder to be present at the conference, I will send you along if you still desire to go, but otherwise, you will stay here."

Danzō didn't show any change in demeanor as he nodded his head in agreement. "I see the logic in your reasoning." He stated coolly, neither admitting defeat nor agreeing with the woman's decision, but bowing to it regardless.

The meeting went long into the night, as many preparations had to be made…

Not once did Tsunade speak of the unknown assassin dressed in Iwa ANBU gear.

o. o. o.

With Sakura:

The pink haired girl growled to herself as she walked away from Kakashi, cursing Naruto's name as frequently as she could under her breath. Of all the unreasonable demands that he could make, he just had to… and right when… it didn't matter if he could… if something went wrong, it would be her head on the chopping block, even if Kakashi claimed responsibility.

"What's got you in a twist?" Shikamaru blinked as Sakura passed him blindly.

"Not a word, Shika." The girl growled. "I would rather not talk about it."

The Nara shrugged. "Suit yourself." He looked over to where Han was being treated and held, completely surrounded by a crude stone building littered with seals. "Naruto really did a number on him, didn't he?"

Sakura snorted. "Between what his bijū did to him internally and what Naruto did to him from the outside, it's a miracle the man isn't dead yet. Most of his bones are fractured, his muscles torn to shreds, and I won't even bother to talk about his skin." She shook her head. "If he wasn't wearing that armor of his during the fight, I'm fairly certain that he would have died already."

"I thought that Naruto was the only one with the healing factor." Shikamaru asked curiously.

The medic shook her head. "No. Apparently all jinchūriki recover quickly to one degree or another. It just so happens that Naruto's is on an absurdly high level, even by jinchūriki standards. No other container can regenerate lost limbs and organs… but that may have to do with his altered seal."

Shikamaru remained quiet for a short amount of time before closing his eyes. "He's gotten a lot stronger lately, hasn't he?"

The pink haired girl glanced at her friend. "We all have. You're no slouch yourself now you know."

"I guess." The Nara agreed. "But Naruto… he's really becoming something else."

"What's the matter?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You've been distracted ever since things calmed down."

The genius didn't say anything as he glanced in the direction of where the fighting came from. "Things are getting too big too fast for us." He mused.

"Huh?"

"Almost everyone in our group's been exposed to things that we shouldn't until several years from now at least." He frowned. "I know that it isn't unnatural for shinobi missions to go south on occasion, but this…" He shook his head. "This isn't natural. If this pattern continues at the rate its going, we'll all be dead before we reach the midpoint of puberty. Even if we do survive, odds are likely that we'll all end up being either jaded or left with distorted personalities."

Sakura remained quiet for a while as she contemplated her friend's words. While her group did have some rather chaotic level missions at this age both in the previous timeline and this one… this event in particular definitely warranted some concern. Her friends had been exposed to no less than three bijū or jinchūriki (granted, one of them was Naruto), several highly ranked shinobi from either Akatsuki or other nations, and they had to manage almost all of this by themselves.

Sometimes it was hard to remember that she was actually almost 18 years old mentally and could think things through more than the rest of them. She had already seen death, destruction, and pure chaos on levels that they didn't… or to be more accurate, had yet to see. She was used to it. They weren't, and it was a problem.

If she and the others forced them to prepare to battle S-ranked criminals from the get go, she would in a way be doing the exact same things that Danzō did to his ROOT agents to train them. However, if they attempted to go easy on them in order to give them a balanced upbringing, then the odds that her friends would die would increase significantly in the upcoming battles to save the world.

"Damn…" She muttered, fully aware of what Shikamaru was saying now.

Shikamaru nodded, knowing that Sakura had come to the conclusion he had already arrived at. "My thoughts exactly."

"What do you suggest we do? Only have low level missions and train until we're confident enough to not die when we're on another big one… or do we have one of our Sensei walk us through everything?"

"The latter if possible." Shikamaru replied calmly. "Though a bit demeaning, they would serve more like an assurance if anything. The problem is that we know they can't always be there for us." He moaned tiredly. "Troublesome. I know that shinobi are forced to grow up fast in order to adapt to our environment… but this really is too much. If we get pushed any harder than we are now, then we won't be able to adapt well to society and others our age, which will cause its own long string of issues that we would have to deal with eventually." He donned a bitter smile. "We could end up saving the world, but be completely unable to help ourselves."

The pink haired girl laughed bitterly. "Well… at least we don't have to worry about Sai, Lee and Naruto. Those guys have already snapped to some point. We can use them as examples."

Shikamaru snorted before getting up to move. "I think Lee was broken before he started training, but then again, the others don't have to know that." He walked to the direction of the designated resting area. No one actually slept there, as ANBU were trained to never do so in the middle of the critical part of a mission, but it was a good place to somewhat drop your guard and let your mind daze for long periods of time. "I'm going on break. Thinking for this long is getting troublesome." He waved her goodbye. "Hope you manage to deal with whatever's pissing you off soon without breaking anything. Later."

Sakura's eyebrow twitched as the lazy teen disappeared into the darkness. She knew that he preferred to treat everything as if it was someone else's problem in order to get a more balanced view of things… but she highly doubted that even HE would be able to calmly think about what she was possibly going to do. Relenting, the girl moaned and turned around to where the injured were. How Naruto managed to convince Kakashi to order her to do this she had no idea, but she was certain that it would rank among the top five most irrational things she has done with medical ninjutsu in her life…

Technically, she hasn't done anything else irrational with her medical ninjutsu other than when she took that sword meant for Chiyo-baa-sama in her fight against Sasori and thought that she could heal herself while the thing was still freaking inside her… but she had shelved some rather interesting ideas for later when she and Sasuke became a bit more… developed…

Stopping in front of Naruto, who was laid out on the ground sleeping next to Neji at the end of the row where his group had been positioned, the girl took in the view of everyone there. Casts, wrappings, and in some cases IV's were all visible for everyone to see. Every once in a while, one of the group would twitch in pain or irritation from their wounds for a few moments before relaxing again, but for the most part, they were all quiet and calm.

Naruto had been treated soon after he had apparently conversed with the Gobi. No one knew what they talked about as it was all in their mental worlds, but other than a very minor spike in demonic chakra from Han, nothing had happened. In fact, Han's vitals had somewhat stabilized more after the conversation.

The blonde boy's head had been wrapped due to the minor concussions he had been recovering from and there were several bandages around his body where the scratches and bruises from his fights had yet to fully recover. His chest and legs had to be supported as well as many of his bones had fractures, but otherwise, he was in fairly decent shape. If left alone and resting, he would naturally make a full recovery within a few days.

Moaning to herself for what she was about to do, the girl knelt down and began to prepare. "I have orders from Kakashi-sensei to do this." She said out loud to seemingly no one, but in reality was talking to the full team of ANBU that was keeping guard over the teens. "This is a delicate procedure, so please make sure I am not interrupted…"

o. o. o.

Konoha:

Chaos. Utter disarray littered the streets of the village as people ran panicking and confused to their homes or anywhere they deemed safe from…

The odd black and white cat with its body in a box drawn like a pastry and two tails that was prancing around the streets randomly with an odd rainbow trailing behind it that was singing an immensely annoying but catchy tune using only the word 'nya'.

" **GHOOOOOSSSSTTTT!** " Hana and Anko roared in pure rage as they and Hana's hounds attempted to capture and maim said cat as it pranced into an alleyway, only for it to disappear as soon as they charged into the spot between buildings and notice the immortal turned cat prancing at the same speed across the street from the alleyway next to theirs. Bolting as fast as they could to intercept him, the females charged in an attempt to intercept him once more, only for the cat to disappear on the other side of the street… and then appear prancing through midair from the top of another nearby building to the top of another one.

The pattern had been continuing on for over 2 hours now, and while initially it had been amusing to watch, it had quickly become not only annoying, but apparent that the cat was not going to stop anytime soon. When the latter had been recognized and it had been determined that the cat was of the Ōgakari's making (as if something that absurd could have come from anyone else in the village), the request had gone to the unofficial and recently promoted to jōnin designated keepers of the clan, Hana and Anko, to stop it.

So far… they haven't had much luck.

o. o. o.

On top of the Hokage's monument, Shadow chuckled evilly as she ate some popcorn. "Fools! It is impossible to manually stop the Nyan Cat from Nyaning short of destroying the entire planet it has claimed! It is the ultimate weapon of mass annoyance of the kawaii variety!"

Enjoying the show, the woman seemingly didn't notice her draconic companion fly from an obscenely high altitude and land right next to her without making a sound. "Squeak!" The fellow female chirped casually as she watched the chaos ensue.

"Yep. It never gets old does it?" The human grinned. "So how was it?"

"Chirp squeak! Squik chirp chirp squik squeak!" Zuzushi replied as she stretched out and popped some small bones in her body.

"That powerful, huh?" Shadow mused. "Still, making something as big as the moon to contain it was far more than necessary in order to seal it away. I bet the planet's population had one hell of a time trying to understand why the hell the tide was moving back and forth like that." She chuckled. "That idiot probably ended up accidentally killing a few thousand species and humans in the process, too." She put up a thoughtful expression. "You know… now that I think about it, it would probably be the first time that I've heard of someone accidentally committing mass genocide by actually ADDING the moon into orbit around the planet instead of blowing it up like everyone else." She shrugged. "Eh. I'll guess when this is over, I'll try it out myself. Find a few decently populated planets and see what happens when I spawn a moon or seven."

"Squeh." Zuzushi deadpanned tiredly as she melded herself back into her container.

"What? I am thinking differently! I'm causing mass panic by creating something that WON'T actively hunt down the indigenous population or blow up." Shadow crossed her arms affronted.

She was about to toss some more of the snack into her mouth when something up ahead caught her gaze. Almost instantly her demeanor changed from psychotically gleeful child, to that of a calm, intrigued yet eager woman. "Humph." She snorted as the ground below her grew dark and she began to sink into it. "And so the next act begins."

o. o. o.

"If Tsunade gets the bright idea to put us on the mission to catch Tora after this…" Anko growled murderously as the constantly perky cat disappeared over the roof of a building and took to the streets again behind them.

"She's smarter than that and we haven't done anything to warrant that kind of punishment." Hana grumbled as she tried to sense where Ghost would pop up next. Obviously it wouldn't work as well as she would hope, but her ability to pick up locations of suddenly appearing objects had been improving lately. It had helped her sniff out some traps just before they triggered during her examinations. Anko didn't manage to pick on said trap when she went through the course, but her enhanced speed and reflexes from Ghost constantly stealing her underwear while she was wearing it had rendered the mechanism just as ineffective with little effort. Looking up to her behind, Hana saw as Ghost once more pranced from the roof of another building to the one on the other side of the street as if the air below him was an invisible road. She was about to attempt to throw a net at him when the cat stopped in its tracks along with the music.

"Hana?" Anko mused as she saw the cat gaze towards the direction of Konoha's main gate. The two women knew better than to assume that the cat was watching with his eyes, since he had them closed and upturned as if he was smiling, but the illusion was enough to convince those who didn't know the individual was blind. "Why do I have a feeling that him stopping like that is not a good thing?"

The Inuzuka's eyes narrowed as she began to try and detect what could be approaching the village. "Because the Ōgakari never stop their pranks halfway like that unless something actually important has caught their attention."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." The snake summoner sighed as she glanced at Ghost, who was simply standing in place in midair and not moving, rainbow included. "You get anything?"

"ANBU, the brats, and blood." Hana growled as she began to walk forward at a fast pace.

"The brats?" Anko asked calmly as she followed suit along with the triplets. The scent of blood and ANBU mixed with anyone was never good news. "Which ones?"

"It's my brother's group…" Hana replied as she increased her speed towards the village gates.

"You have got to be kidding me." Anko muttered. "What kind of shit did they fall into that got the ANBU's attention of all things?"

"Move out of the way! Heavily injured coming through!" A masked shinobi yelled as he forced the civilians that were on the road to the sides to make way the incoming group. This of course did not spread any good feelings to the women as they approached the area where a large number of curious shinobi and civilians were crowding around the street that ran straight to the hospital from the main gates, a standard procedure done for any shinobi village that valued its soldier's lives.

Landing on top of a nearby building, Hana and Anko watched curiously for the arriving teams to pass. "This is weird." Anko muttered. "Even if it was a bad mission or there were important people involved, there normally isn't this kind of crowd for an arrival."

Hana nodded. "I know. Something isn't right…" She closed her eyes and focused on her sense of smell again. "Now that they're closer… a majority of the shinobi coming are ANBU. The masks that they wear contain a special material that only Inuzuka can smell and identify, not that they or many of our own really know it, of course… but the thing is that not all of them have scents that I recognize or carry traces of ones that are from around here…"

"Foreign ANBU?" Anko raised an eyebrow as the group was in sight, albeit still at a fair distance.

"They're probably that group from Iwa that Kakashi was sent to meet up with." Ghost commented as he looked up Anko's skirt casually. "I heard he was off to hunt some escaped Iwa prisoners and the Gobi jinchūriki a few weeks ago. From what I can put together… said escapees found the minion's group first."

"The Gobi!" Both women shouted in surprise as the turned to look at the man, ignoring his bad habits and the fact that he was now wearing Anko's current choice of underwear on his head like a hat.

"Yep." The man nodded. "I can tell that the brats are all alive, if a bit beaten to kingdom come, but I can also tell that there's another bijū containing existence approaching as well, and man oh man is he in shitty shape." He chuckled. "The minion must have gone apeshit on him to put him in that condition." He stood up straight and began to stretch. "I guess those two fighting using their bijū was what I sensed last night."

"And you DIDN'T go out of your way to check up on things to see if something important was happening?" Hana asked in disbelief as Anko slapped the man upside the head while in the same move stealing back her underwear.

The man looked insulted. "Really? That's really rude of you to expect such a thing from me. Just because I enjoy screwing around with things doesn't mean I go out of my way to intrude on other people's privacy the moment I see something is off just to sate my curiosity." He paused. "Plus, I was busy trying to beat Scab's high score on Plants vs Zombies…"

Technically, he was telling the truth. He had been busy with the game when he had sensed the events in the Land of Iron go down. It helped that he wasn't being specific about which event his students had been involved with that he failed to monitor.

He never did beat that bloody high score, though.

"Just forget it." Anko groaned as she put her panties back on, ignoring the fact that she flashed the others for a few seconds as she hiked up her skirt in order to get it on right. The two had seen far more of her body so frequently that they wouldn't be distracted by such a small thing "Hana, you're one of the best medics here. With you, we can get into the escort medical group and find out what the hell happened."

"Right." The teen nodded as she shunshined to the ground and in front of one of the ANBU there and made eye contact with him. "Hana Inuzuka. Jōnin medic." She stated calmly while narrowing her eyes very faintly on a specific interval, a sign that she was an ANBU to others.

The tiger masked shinobi nodded and stepped aside for her to pass. "And the two behind you?" He asked calmly as Ghost and Anko appeared at that moment.

"Let them. They are related to the injured and may be of assistance if needed." She replied without looking and walked to where the main medic crew stood ready. ' _Not that he would have been able to stop them if he tried anyways.'_ She mentally added. "What's the situation?" She asked one of the other medics there who she recognized.

"H-Hana!" The man blinked in surprise. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"What. Happened." She repeated in a tone that left no excuses. The approaching teams were fairly close now and judging from their scents almost all the kids that were from Naruto's team were out of it to varying degrees. Neji's scent in particular seemed unnaturally weak.

"I-I don't know!" He waved his hands in defense. "All they would tell us is that shinobi from both Iwa and here would be coming through and that a good number of them would need extensive treatment! Whatever happened, it's above my level of clearance!"

Hana clicked her teeth in irritation. "Any reports of the injured?"

The man nodded frantically, as to not attempt to get on Hana's bad side. "Yes. The predominant case involves a man in his early thirties with deep lacerations, chakra poisoning, multiple fractures on almost all major bones, multiple organ failure, and internal bleeding, and that's not getting into the small stuff. I'm confused as to how the guy is still alive." He frowned. "However, the next severe case is just as bad, with multiple shattered ribs, punctured organs, blood loss, internal bleeding, and a gouged out right eye." He frowned at the fellow medic. "There's whispers that this one's a Hyūga."

"Shit." Hana growled, knowing that if that was the case, then the clan would be out for blood, especially since it happened to either Hinata or Neji since those two in particular were the pride and joy of the clan. "Any possible Inuzuka injuries?"

The man put on a thoughtful look for a moment before nodding. "Yes. If I remember correctly, he supposedly has several broken and fractured ribs along with his partner in addition to a fractured leg and broken arm. It is a rather impressive list of injuries, but none that were life threatening or crippling, as they were treated by a skilled field medic rather quickly."

I see." Hana breathed out in relief. It may have been a bit selfish to put her brother's condition above the other's, but she was allowed to as she was family. "Any bodies that will need inspecting?"

The man shook his head in denial. "Surprisingly, no. Any bodies that are supposed to be with the group are supposedly under Iwa's jurisdiction. We're merely healing their men and captives so that they are suitable for transportation back to their village."

"Well, at least we got some good news there." Anko muttered before glancing to the side. "They're here."

Everyone turned to see the first of the ANBU carrying the injured into the village. First on the list was obviously Neji on a full stretcher, covered in seals and an IV drip hooked up to one of his arms. The sight of the boy caused many to pause and others to gasp as the image of his heavily wounded body was put under full display while being transported. To either side of him was a medic, one of them Sakura, constantly keeping his condition stable until he made it to the hospital

"Hoh?" Ghost mused as he got a good look at the boy and actually paid attention to his energy signature. "Well now… that certainly will lead to some interesting things…"

"What are you talking about?" Anko asked skeptically as Hana rushed to help out Kiba, who was conscious and had an arm hooked around the neck of another ANBU. Akamaru in turn was being carried in a hammock like cloth that was hanging around Kiba's neck.

"You'll see." The man smirked as he saw Naruto being carried in on Kakashi's back, bandages wrapped around his head, although they must have slipped at some point, because some loops were draped over his face loosely. "Oi minion! Ya look like shit!" He called out loudly, causing many people to look at him oddly before realizing who the offender was.

Naruto in turn merely turned his head at the man barely and flipped him the bird.

"See?" Ghost smiled happily. "He's perfectly fine."

"I don't know what's worse." Anko sighed. "Your utter lack of concern for your students or the fact that said students are fine with your neglect for their safety."

"The second." Ghost answered immediately. "I'm a lost cause, but the kids are still very much impressionable. Having them pick up my bad habits at such an early age can easily lead to bad behavioral patterns later on in life."

"That wasn't supposed to be answered." The snake summoner muttered before noticing Ino being walked in with another ANBU. "We can talk stupid later. I'm gonna check up on the other blonde idiot to make sure she didn't do anything that Inoichi would kill me for."

"Have fun!" Ghost waved childishly as his second girlfriend moved to her own apprentice. He waited a few moments before walking to the side of the gate and resting against it. "You have questions?" He asked to seemingly no one… until Shikamaru walked out from the nearby shade of the wall.

"You knew that this was going to happen, didn't you?" The Nara's eyes narrowed.

"Perhaps." Ghost shrugged. "We didn't have anything to do with it happening, if that's what you're guessing… well, other than butterfly effect and all that crap."

Shikamaru remained quiet as he analyzed Ghost with irritated eyes. "… Things are escalating too quickly. We won't be able to keep up or survive at this rate."

"Scab's already pulled a few strings to make sure that Akatsuki doesn't move for another three years." Ghost shrugged. "Other than that, there's nothing else to do. The odds of another mission like this happening are miniscule at best until things pick up again… or are you talking about additional training?"

"Both if possible." Shikamaru frowned. "Normally I wouldn't be worried about repeat performances, but this incident is defiantly going to stir up some trouble between Iwa and ourselves. If things get out of hand over there, we could get more 'accidental ambushes', and I don't want to test our luck like that again any time soon…"

"Relax." The immortal chided. "Even Iwa knows better than to start a war with Konoha meaninglessly. Since we're allies with Suna, They'd be fighting a war on two fronts. You guys are plenty strong for your age. If we rush things now, it would just be detrimental to your growth. Granted, we do have a few things listed for you guys to start learning, but they'll all take time for you to get the hang of."

"I thought that was what the shadow clone teaching method was for." The Nara countered.

Ghost raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were smarter than that, kid. The clones help you learn. Time is the only thing that can give you experience." He picked himself off of the wall and began to walk to the hospital, patting the boy on the shoulder in the process. "Calm down. You're just getting excited because things are not turning out the way you expected them to. That merely means that things are changing and you'll have to adapt to it. The future is constantly changing, and it is something not even a god can predict… only the unknown can do that."

Shikamaru stared at the man's back for a moment before shaking his head. "You mean that unidentifiable species that's one of your dragon's ancestors?"

"You got it!" The man replied with a lazy wave before he disappeared in thin air.

The Nara blinked several times in confusion and then groaned frustrated. "I was joking…"

o. o. o.

Kirigakure:

The man opened his eyes to find himself on an island in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing to tell him where or when it was, as thick clouds covered the skies such that the sun was impossible to locate, and he could see no sign of any other land mass from where he was standing. Small wisps of mist also hovered in the air, slightly impairing the man's view of his surroundings.

The beach that was in front of him was nothing to brag about. Unlike those pedestrian beaches that was purposefully laced with fine sand that was easy to walk on barefooted, this beach went for the natural look, with large irregular rocks and reed like plants jutting out of the water sporadically, indicating that man had yet to mar it.

Behind him, he saw a small grove and tall grass. There weren't any animals nearby as far as he could tell, but all the plants were still reflecting the bare light coming from the sky with the moisture they had accumulated from the air. It gave the area its own sense of natural beaut,y in a way.

However, the place was far from a natural paradise. Anyone there could tell that something was wrong even before their first breath was taken. There was a heavy and dark feeling permeating the air and water here. Unstable and possibly violent, but also somehow patient, the land echoed the sensation that one gets from a skilled predator hunting.

"Humph." The man snorted as he turned to where he could guess the center of the Island was from the fact that it was the location of the only hill he could see. "At least it's better than a sewer."

It only took the unconcerned man about fifteen minutes to reach the near top of the hill, which he determined really was the center of the island, and there on the top he found where he was looking for…

A dome of water the size of a massive lake stood perfectly stable on top of the hill, surrounded by a red ring of scriptures and seals that the man was fairly certain that he would never be able to truly get, even if he studied for a hundred years. For a moment, the human wondered to himself how the hell he could have missed the odd spectacle until now, but that were soon put to the side as his gaze onto what he had come here for…

With a mighty roar, the submerged three tailed turtle rammed itself against its prison at the man standing a small distance away, but did not even manage to make the air around it shake in the slightest. Even with only half its chakra there, the creature was until immensely huge and possessed more power that Zabuza could dream of achieving by himself.

"I see you're still pissed off, Shelly." Zabuza calmly stated as he stared down the one eyed beast as it tried again to escape and roared maliciously. He was not fooled or intimidated. So long at the beast was trapped in its prison, it could not hurt him, so he had absolutely nothing to worry about.

It had been almost a week since Zabuza had attempted to try to get into contact with his new prisoner, and up until now, he had had no luck with it. It had only been at Haku's suggestion that he try to place himself into a similar state of mind to when he was using his silent homicide technique, only go even deeper, and lo and behold, it worked.

The man made a mental note to place this event on the list of things he owed Haku for. It was getting to be surprisingly long, though most of the minor things had arisen when they had joined Konoha. He apparently was getting to be a bit too superficial for his liking…

Still, the barrier didn't stop the oppressive feeling of the beast's chakra from nearly suffocating the man. Wave after wave of thick chakra poured over him from the dome like a blinding corrupted mist. The best way to describe it at the moment was pure energized rage, but there were other overwhelming emotions mixed in that couldn't be identified save for confusion.

The large mass of the Sanbi trying to attack him brought him back to semi-reality and caused the assassin to frown. Before Yagura went nuts, he had told Zabuza that the beast actually had sentience and they would on occasion talk to one another. Granted, it wasn't until Yagura had achieved greater control over his beast that the conversations had become more rational and less offensive, but they were still supposedly conversations. This creature in front of him was just raging and glaring at him with each pass…

Hold on… there was more to that glare than just blind rage there. There was something else as well.

"Oi, turtle soup!" The swordsman yelled and crossed his arms. "Calm the fuck down for a moment! We have to talk about something!"

The insult and command seemed to only anger the beast even more and caused it to double its efforts to kill the man.

"Well, at least I know it can hear me…" He muttered under his breath before he began to lose his temper. "Shut up, you stupid idiot! I'm trying to talk to you!"

Once more, his only response was an enraged roar and more thrashing.

"Damn it. This is getting annoying. ISOBU!" The swordsman bellowed the creature's name at the top of his lung, causing it to stop for the first time since the man arrived. "YAGURA IS DEAD! DEAL WITH IT!"

The turtle wavered in its tank for several seconds as if it had been paralyzed by an attack before it slowly turned its head to Zabuza and looked at him seemingly for the first time. **"My… name…"** A deep voice rasped, sounding uncertain, as if the owner had forgotten how to speak and was getting used to the action again. Slowly sinking down to where Zabuza was standing, the beast got a better look at the human, as if seeing him for the first time. Now that it had stopped moving, Zabuza could clearly tell how large the beast was from up close… and he didn't really like the fact that the creature's lone eye was larger than he was. **"You… know my name… Human? How?"**

"Well, what do you know, you aren't as dumb as you look." The container smirked as he walked forward a few steps. "I'm surprised you've forgotten me, shell for brains. Yagura and I used to spend a load of time together till that bastard fucked all of us over. He told me your name soon after you two finally started to get along."

The beast's eye narrowed in confusion. **"I… remember… Zabuza?"** It mumbled in confusion before its eye dilated rapidly. **"Wait… remember! Human with red eye! Controlled us! Couldn't think! HUMAN!"** Isobu began to thrash around once more, but this time in a random fashion and roared with vigor.

Zabuza would have responded, but the beast was now pulsating his chakra sporadically in its blind rage and somehow managed to force the swordsman outside of his mindscape and back to reality rather violently.

"I take it this time was a success?" Waltz Ōgakari mused as he relaxed on a large chair and examined some papers. Next to the old man on the floor was Haku also doing meditative exercises, and laying broken in the corner of the room was Crypt, obviously because he had done something stupid again and the old man had taken upon himself the responsibility to amend it.

"Somewhat." Zabuza grunted as he tried to make his head stop spinning. "Turns out the Sanbi is still capable of talking once you know the right buttons to push. Problem is that he apparently only just recently regained his memories and cognitive abilities back, and so now instead of raging cause he's stuck in me, he's raging because he remembered what happened when he was in Yagura. It might take a while for him to calm down enough for me to get back in there and have another talk. Maybe even longer for me to start actually using his chakra without repercussions."

"Filbert needs a time out nap." Crypt nodded knowingly. "I call it nap time, which comes before food time. Gasp! But then there's food-nap time! That's my favorite time of them all!" He turned to Waltz. "Can I have a pony?"

"No."

"Awww. I miss Rainbow Sparkles."

"Most wouldn't be able to tell, considering what you did with the first seventeen of them." The old man muttered darkly. "Even if it let Scab make a killing with that limited edition dog food line…"

"But it was magically delicious! And shiny too!"

"Is there anything else that we should know about?" Haku asked, tuning out the Ōgakari's latest reveal of crimes against the multiverse.

"Well, he remembers me from when he was in Yagura." Zabuza shrugged as he picked himself up and stretched. "Don't know if that's a good or bad thing, really. I was a bit of a dick to him when we were kids, and the last time we saw each other I tried to cut his head off. Still, he seems more pissed at the guy who manipulated Yagura more than me at the moment, so I'd say we're off at a decent start."

"Try to talk to him again in about a week or so." Waltz nodded without looking up from the paper he was reading. "Use Yagura as a topic of conversation. No doubt it will be a good way for you to start establishing a non-hostile relationship."

"What? No flowers?" The swordsman snorted sarcastically.

"Of course not." The old man smirked. "Those are for when you finally get the balls to start dating Mei."

"Oh for fuck's sake, why didn't I just let Kakashi just kill me when I had the choice?" Zabuza moaned and facepalmed.

"You can't run from her forever." Haku giggled.

"Who says I'm running?" The murderer growled with a healthy amount of killing intent.

"Hi lava lady! Are you gonna be scary again?" Crypt childishly greeted someone in the direction of the doorway, causing Zabuza to tense up and turn slowly to the sole entrance to the room, only to see no one was there.

"Sure. You're not running." Waltz rolled his eyes as he turned to another page. "You're just scared shitless of her. All we need now is for one of you to be a rampaging pervert and both of you to put on twenty years and it'll be Jiraiya and Tsunade all over again, only she's gunning for you instead of the other way around."

Crypt tilted his head to the side confused. "Wait… so does that mean that scary lava lady will make up a power to make her boobs not sag when she gets older, too?"

Zabuza snorted at Crypt. "Please. If anything, she probably has a few she's using right now."

Haku winced before paling. "Uh… Zabuza?"

"I mean, considering how hard she worked to lose weight at the same time as retaking Kiri, I bet she's got loads of scrolls on how to deal with extra sagging." The man continued bluntly.

Waltz blinked in his direction for a moment before shaking his head in a pitying way.

"Granted, she looks great and she's a hard worker, but let me tell you that behind that kind smile and mature personality is…" He frowned and saw how everyone was looking at him before coming to the conclusion that he was most likely a dead man walking at the moment. "… Shit."

"Really?" Mei smiled with an enormously murderous aura emanating from her body. "Behind my smile and personality is nothing but shit, Zabuza-kun?"

"It won't matter much what I say at this point, will it Mei?" The man replied resigned without turning around.

"Depends what the next and potentially last words out of your mouth are." The Mizukage answered pleasantly as she began to make some seals...

o. o. o.

Hospital:

Hiashi frowned as he stood in the room where Neji and Hinata were being kept. It had been almost twelve hours since they arrived, and only a few minutes since guests were allowed to see any of the two teams that had been rushed to be treated. Neji in particular had only recently just been taken out of the operating room and was wrapped in a seal covered cast. The only part of his face that was visible was his left eye, making him look somewhat like Kakashi in a morbid sort of way.

It had been close… far, far too close. From what he had heard, if Hinata had not prolonged his life long enough for the ANBU medics and Sakura to treat him, his nephew, his only reminder of his brother, would have died.

The man sighed deeply as he listened to both of the children breathe calmly. Neither of them had woken up since arriving in the village, and while he understood the reasons why, it did not help him get over his anxiety…

"Wow, they really got hammered out there, didn't they?" Ghost asked in an amused tone from behind the man, causing him to jump up in surprise, seeing as no one was supposed to be allowed in the room while he was visiting unless something was wrong.

"Wha… oh." The man grunted. He should have figured that one of the Ōgakari would check up on their students at some point or another without warning. "Do you mind? I am trying to have a private moment here."

"You have a sick hobby if this is where you want to do that sort of thing." The man raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms.

"I am in no mood for your games right now, Ōgakari." Hiashi growled. "If you haven't noticed, my nephew has been crippled and beaten to near death. Even if he recovers, he will never be as strong as he was before. His career and potential is ruined because of this event."

The blind man merely groaned. "Ugh. This is why you special eye types annoy me. You're all so bloody dependent on what you see that you completely flip out when even one of your eyes is taken out, despite the fact that just having one of them is often more useful than having two normal eyes… once you get used to the lack of depth perception."

"And what would you know about losing a valuable asset of your own?" Hiashi countered. "What would you know about relying what you were born with that set you apart from the rest of the world, only to have it taken away from you violently?! Having our eyes damaged is akin to a prodigy musician's hands suddenly crippled! Our eyes are who we are!" Throughout his tirade his volume had grown until he was practically shouting his head off.

Ghost raised an eyebrow, took off his glasses, and seemingly stared at the Hyūga with his deformed eyes, who in turn stepped back in shock. "And now you are shutting up, and feeling like an idiot." He stated in a calm yet knowing tone before continuing. "I was born and raised normal. Now I'm not. Life bent me down and fucked me over so hard that a broken down sex slave would praise the fates that they aren't me. I got used to it, Neji can just as easily as well with only one special eye that can see all around him. Quit your bitching already." He put his glasses back on. "Shit happens. Neji's still got one Byakugan left, and that's all he really needs in order to use most of your clan's techniques. If he needs two in order to see stuff like tenketsu, it sucks to be him. He'll just have to find another way to earn a name for himself. What actually bugs me is the fact that you're acting like it's the end of the world for him."

Hiashi swallowed heavily as he stared at the man disbelievingly. Ghost Ōgakari was blind. The most talented assassin that he had ever encountered, possibly even heard of, was someone that couldn't even see what was right in front of him. In a way it was insulting, as he had proven himself far more capable in shinobi related fields than any member of his clan, who were all gifted with the greatest sight in the world, but that only proved the man's point even more.

However, the nature of the man's blindness was also terrifying to even think about. Hiashi had heard about various methods to cause a person to lose their sight before of course. It wasn't uncommon for those with dōjutsu to be unnaturally paranoid about how they could possibly lose their most prized possessions. Stabbing, gouging, chemicals, burning, age, infection, sealing, transplant, experimentation… but to have the corneas actually stitched shut in such a manner was not only unheard of, but immensely terrifying to imagine being done. Once more, the man had revealed a side of himself that no one knew had existed and put him in an entirely new light.

Ghost continued, shaking his head casually and dismissively. "What kind of uncle are you? He loses one eye and you already seem to think that his future's dead in the water. It makes me, the blind cursed guy, pity the kid to be honest."

Hiashi calmed down as much as he could and regained his composure. "My apologies. I let the event get the better of me and lost composure." He glanced at Ghost warily. "… I... was not expecting to learn such a thing when I came into here to see my nephew and daughter…" He muttered before glaring at the other conscious person in the room cautiously. "However, the loss of my nephew's eye has debilitated him somewhat. Much like how a man with only one eye lacks most of his depth perception, our clan requires two eyes in order to see things with distinction. Without a second Byakugan, Neji will no longer be able to see tenketsu and several key points in chakra systems with distinction. Should he recover, he would have to change the way he fights in order to adapt to his condition."

"But he can still see chakra paths." Ghost smirked and crossed his arms in a confident manner.

Hiashi frowned for a moment before studying the man's posture. "… You already have something in mind for him that only requires one eye, I take it." The clan head observed.

The immortal slowly took out a scroll from his coat and waved it in front of him. "This right here has the base theory and approach to possibly the most dangerous and lethal taijutsu style that your clan will ever get their hands on and perform. It is so horrifically lethal and dangerous to its opponents that anyone who manages to learn even the basics of it will instantly be considered to be a major threat on any battlefield."

"Your clan's current style is dangerous and can kill or cripple if used correctly. This right here? It has no ifs. A non-lethal strike from this won't paralyze an opponent, it will permanently cripple their insides, regardless of how powerful they are, so long as you can get to their chakra system. It is cruel. It will need to be sloppy at times. No self-respecting member of your clan that is dedicated to the healing arts will ever be able to learn this style or look at it without feeling disgusted with themselves. This right here is going to be Neji's legacy that will be passed down in your clan to only those who will kill without hesitation, regardless of how much their target suffers. Hence, this will be the style that only the most devout and loyal members of your clan will possess."

Hiashi swallowed as he eyed the scroll being tossed in the man's hands. Constant exposure to the man in front of him told the father that whenever the Ōgakari claimed something like this was true, it was, and rarely was it ever blown out of proportion. "A new taijutsu style? One that utilizes our eyes but is superior to Jūken… I find that hard to believe."

Ghost smirked. "Like I said, Hiashi. This scroll only has the approaches, ideas, and theoretical concepts behind the style, as well as educated approaches on how to deal with and manage future steps. The effects and theory are based off of a special weapon that belonged to a very old family friend of ours, and let me tell you, that thing was a very nasty piece of work. Even my own clan cringes when we're reminded of the aftereffects of what it does to people. The actual taijutsu style itself and the chakra manipulation execution behind it has yet to be made though." He turned to Neji. "That's your job, kid, unless you think you can't handle such a thing."

Hiashi's eyes widened in surprise as he turned to see that Neji was indeed looking at them with his good eye, albeit a bit tiredly. "Neji! You're up?"

"You're loud…" The teen rasped in a dry voice, causing the least mature person in the room to chuckle.

"See? And you were so worried that he wasn't okay." Ghost laughed condescendingly as he walked up to Neji and whistled to say he was impressed. "Yeah, you really got laid over badly. But a few rounds with lady sag tits or the old geezer should have you up and running in no time."

"My… eye…" Neji muttered as he reached up and touched the bandages that covered the right side of his head and face.

"It's gone, Neji." Hiashi admitted sadly. "I'm sorry…"

"No… something's there…" The boy frowned weakly in confusion. "I feel it…"

"What?" Hiashi's eyes narrowed in confusion as he activated his own. "What in the… why is there another eye there?"

Ghost merely chuckled and shook his head. "Honestly, I know the minion is a bleeding heart at times, but this really takes the cake…"

o. o. o.

"You did WHAT?" Sasuke roared at the bedridden Naruto who was merely staring back with his currently only eye.

"I said I gave Neji one of my eyes since it's technically my fault that he lost his own." The blonde yawned. "I don't see what the big problem is. I checked with Kyūbi and I can regenerate my eye just as easily as one of my limbs. It'll just take a couple of weeks."

Sasuke turned to an ashamed Sakura disbelievingly. "You actually agreed to do this? I thought you were the rational one on the team! If Neji was in as bad shape as you claimed, then transplanting the eye would have put even more strain on his body!"

"It's not my fault." The pink haired girl mumbled. "Sensei ordered me to do it, and Naruto told him that with the controlled amount of the Kyūbi's chakra in his eye, Neji's bloodline enhanced chakra coils in his socket would be able to adapt to them really quickly… since I've been training a lot with Tsunade-sama and my progress has improved so much, he trusted me to do it."

Sasuke groaned and rubbed his temple frustrated. "You know what? I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to assume that Neji's going to spend a lot of time with Kakashi when he recovers so he can get used to having one bloodline eye and one… ugh… even his normal eye isn't normal." He shook his head as he tried to logic himself into a more stable position.

"Calm down, dude. You're going to give yourself an aneurysm if you keep this up." Naruto deadpanned before a knock on the window drew everyone's attention to the window next to him… to reveal another Naruto holding out some ramen takeout.

"You didn't." Sakura growled as Naruto opened the window to let his clone in.

"When will you learn that the response to that statement when referring to me is obviously and always: I did?" The blonde asked curiously as he placed the ramen on his food tray and dispelled his clone.

"Hey minion!" Ghost waved from outside the room entrance.

"Fuck off, Ero-nii!" Naruto called back as he began to eat.

"Okie dokie!" Ghost replied cheerfully as he walked away to bug someone else.

"You could feel so much love in those words." Sasuke shook his head, knowing that in many ways, that had been a civilized conversation between the two.

"I know." Sakura grumbled as she looked at her friend, who was casually eating ramen without a care in the world. "How can you really be this relaxed right now, Naruto?" She asked skeptically. "As soon as you're deemed healthy enough, you're going to have to give your report on everything that happened and interrogated by not only our people, but Iwa's as well. This is a big international snafu that could really cause problems for everyone."

"There's nothing I can do about it right now, even if I was worried about it." The boy mumbled between bites. "Other than what generally happened, we're under orders to keep everything secret." He pointed to Sasuke. "We could only tell Sasuke that we were attacked, Neji lost his eye, I gave him mine, and a few other small things, and he's the only member of our team that wasn't involved in this stupid event."

"Judging from all the wounds you got though, I can tell that you had one hell of a fight on your hands." Sasuke crossed his arms as he looked at all the non-healed wounds the blonde still had yet to recover from. "If you were left exhausted and in that nasty shape, then whoever you had to fight was most likely the one that almost did everyone else in. Since there's a bunch of Iwa ANBU here, obviously it was some guy from their country that they wanted taken out just as badly as you did."

"I can neither confirm nor deny it, lest the hag kill me." Naruto replied as he drained his first bowl of ramen and started on his second before pausing and frowning. "Can you guys wait a bit so I can finish my meal? It would suck less for all of us if we didn't have to go through everything while I'm on an empty stomach."

Two ANBU, one from both Iwa and Konoha appeared in the middle of Naruto's room in full gear, much to the surprise of Sakura and Sasuke. "We have orders to have you report to us about the incident, Uzumaki. You are after all the captain of the teams you were leading and coordinated your comrades." The one from Konoha stated calmly.

"I know that." The boy rolled his eye as he began devouring his second bowl. "Just let me finish eating so things can get done faster. I haven't had Ichiraku's in nearly half a year."

"Now listen, chūnin…" The Iwa ANBU stepped forward before he was held back by the one from Konoha.

"Please be fast about it, Uzumaki." The man replied calmly, ignoring the sharp looks that Sasuke and Sakura were giving the man from Iwa. "We are on a tight schedule, and it would not look good for anyone if a report this vital was held back due to ramen."

"Better than Ero-sennin holding back spy reports 'cause he was too busy peeping on women in the hot springs." The boy mumbled with a mouth full of noodles, causing everyone in the room to sweatdrop. "Sakura can stay 'cause she was part of the group that came with Kakashi-sensei. Sorry emo, but you can't be in on this."

The Uchiha rolled his eyes and walked to the door. "I'm in no rush. I'll find out what happened eventually anyways. Besides, I already have enough material to make you suffer for a good while."

"Huh?" The blonde blinked in confusion.

Sasuke smirked. "I'm talking about the fact that the first Hyūga you've been inside wasn't Hinata, but her male cousin Neji." He turned and walked away. "You are now imagining how Hinata will react when that fact is circulating throughout the village. Have fun with that."

Naruto's face paled as he realized what Sasuke did and swallowed heavily, not noticing Sakura start giggling darkly about Sasuke's joke before pausing to think about the image that her secret boyfriend just painted in her mind and then settled for being in a daydream like state with some blood dripping from her nose.

"I… I'm not hungry anymore." The blonde boy wept as he pushed his lunch away and huddled into a ball.

Outside of the room, however, Sasuke frowned. He had heard how badly Naruto's team had been injured. He had heard rumors that Naruto really was the one that put down that massive man he had seen being transported to the hospital. He was in such bad shape that he could barely be considered alive.

Naruto did that to the guy.

Sasuke had killed, but never had he seen someone in such a horrific state before. Save for having his limbs cut off, the man looked like he had virtually every part of his body severely injured in some way. It honestly terrified Sasuke to a point. He knew Naruto got angry whenever someone harmed those close to him, but this was the first time he had actually seen or heard someone get the full treatment. Scratch that. This guy actually went through it and LIVED. That alone spoke wonders about how strong he was…

The Uchiha shivered. He was scared. He admitted it. Naruto was a good friend, the best really if he ever had the gall to admit it, but he was also someone Sasuke subconsciously feared. Not just because he held the Kyūbi, but because nothing really seemed to surprise him anymore.

When his brother was hunting him down with Jiraiya, he was calm and in control.

When the invasion came, he was calm and in control.

When they first found out about their situation in Iron… well, he freaked out, but he was really more frustrated and pissed more than anything… but after he recovered from nailing his head on the table, he was once again completely level headed.

Even the Sanbi's appearance only seemed to piss him off more than surprise and strike fear into him. Hell, he went above that and even took the damn thing down with a little help from himself and three of the largest amphibians he will ever see in his life.

Naruto had more than power. He had the mindset that prevented him from letting his emotions take advantage of him when the time counted. The boy was truly unflappable when it mattered, and that was a trait that Sasuke knew he needed if he wanted to get anywhere near his friend's level…

Ghost smirked from the side of the hallway nearby, completely unnoticed by the boy. It seemed he was already understanding what separated the experienced veterans from the kids with a few battles under their belts.

Good. It would make things easier when he rubbed that trait into the faces of the other brats in a few days.

o. o. o.

Ino gasped for air as her boyfriend held her in a bone crushing hug. "Chōji! Air! Ribs!"

The husky teen stumbled back nervously before laughing. "Heh. Sorry about that, Ino. I lost control of myself. I mean, when I heard what happened to you guys and how badly some of you were beaten…"

"That doesn't excuse you to adding to my list of injuries, idiot." The girl grumbled before smiling gently. "But I really am happy to see you right now. I missed you a lot on the mission."

"It is understandable for him to be concerned." Shino commented as he leaned on the opposite side of the room coolly. "We were not initially informed of who was in serious condition and who was not. His current reaction was warranted given the circumstances."

"Get a room, you two." Kiba grumbled as Hana was checking his limbs for what seemed like the hundredth time since he got there, and got whacked upside the head by his sister. "Ow! Hey, I'm damaged here!"

"Yeah, and for once it isn't your brain. Now shut up and let your friends have their moment." Hana growled as she did one last checkup on Akamaru. "Honestly, I'm glad you survived, but I'm still dumbfounded as to how the heck just you and Hinata managed to take out Sinō of all people with as few wounds as you have. That man has been known to take out entire platoons at once by himself, for Log's sake."

"Dumb luck." Kiba said bluntly. "That guy was a monster and Hinata did most of the work. The only reason why I'm alive is 'cause he underestimated me, which let me get a few minor wounds in on him when I passed him to take out his summon from behind, which was not leaving Hinata alone. I was useless after that point and Hinata managed to squeak out a win." He shook his head. "From what I've heard, she had used up almost all of the chakra in her necklace to stop the guy from crushing us with an earth based tidal wave kind of technique. If she wasn't there to stop it, I think that we would have been killed before Han even managed to get to us."

"It seems once more we are in her debt." Shino nodded. "I am regretful that I was not there to help you."

"You'll get your chance, Shino." Ino smiled sincerely. "Just hope it isn't with Naruto when it happens. You really might die if you do."

"Hell no." Kiba snorted. "Shino and Chōji are the only ones that haven't had their 'absurd Naruto mission screw over' cherries popped yet. If anything, they should be the next ones to team up with him."

"Please don't talk about something like that so casually." Chōji shivered. "I saw what happened to Neji."

The room was quiet for several moments before Shino spoke up again. "I have tried to see Naruto, but he and Sakura were busy talking to ANBU from both Iwa and here about what had transpired."

"I'm not surprised." Hana commented. "From what I've heard, some of the guys that assaulted you were pretty high on Iwa's takedown list. It would be dumb not to talk to the kid that was in charge of the group that took them all out."

"The group?" Ino snorted bitterly. "Hell, he took almost all of them out by himself. We only helped clean up the ones that managed to escape that monster attack he used."

"Don't sell yourself short." Chōji frowned. "There were only a few prisoners that had been captured alive in addition to the guy that Naruto beat into a pulp. One was a woman that you guys fought, and I've heard that she's cooperating completely. If she had gotten away, things would have been worse for everyone."

"I guess." The Yamanaka replied uncertainly before she looked around. "By the way, how's Lee doing? I haven't seen him since we were moved in and I heard that he was in some pretty rough shape too."

"Lee's just come out of surgery." Hana replied as she finished up treating Akamaru and put the sleeping puppy on Kiba's lap. "I heard that he had some fairly concerning head injuries, but Tsunade-sama jumped to working on him as soon as she was done completely stabilizing Neji. He'll be asleep for about a week, but otherwise he should recover fully around the same time as you guys. He's being kept in the same room as his teammate Kin right now, and from what I saw that, girl Tenten is keeping them company since no one else is there right now."

"That is good." Shino nodded. "It would be best if we all visited one another to regain morale."

"Not exactly the words I would use, but I agree with Shino." Kiba grinned.

All in all, nothing out of the ordinary happened in the room. If half the population wasn't injured, one would assume that inside was just another gathering of friends that hadn't seen one another in a while…

o. o. o.

"Report." Danzō ordered calmly in front of Sai who was resting in his private room.

"Naruto Uzumaki has proven himself to be far more capable than expected." Sai wearily replied. Even though he had rested a fair amount, he had yet to undergo major surgery to repair his arms, and so he was under several drugs to dull the pain. "His ninjutsu capabilities far surpass what we originally estimated. On several occasions, he has shown that he is capable of kage-level feats with his wind element manipulation. Despite his quirks and behavior, he is extremely capable of taking control of a situation and providing valuable strategies with unwavering certainty. During the incident, I heard from one of his clones that he was capable of controlling six tails of demonic chakra, but I heard of something called a second state transformation as well, so I am uncertain of how well he can control his beast."

The elder's visible eye narrowed considerably. "Is there any hint of him betraying the village?"

"None." Sai replied. "On multiple occasions, he has proven that he will put his team's wellbeing ahead of his own with a smile on his face, yet he does not disregard their individual and conjoined capabilities at the same time. Under high stress, he acts and performs more like an experienced jōnin than a fresh chūnin."

"And what of the event?" The old man continued, not wanting to squander any time on meaningless praises or comments.

"He revealed himself to be a Namikaze when we were travelling and claimed the only reason why he did so was because he claimed the assaulting party was after him and referring to him as such." Sai answered in kind. "He then ordered us to go back while a clone distracted the enemy and he used an absurdly powerful wind ninjutsu consisting of three massive tornados to devastate the attacking party and the general area. He then ordered us to assault any possible survivors quickly while their morale was down and they hadn't regrouped, due to the fact that the technique exhausted him and the enemy would probably realize that and continue their assault."

 _'Hm… I would not expect the student of Kakashi and the hope of Sarutobi to make such an offensive yet efficient decision.'_ Danzō mused. ' _Hiruzen would have given the survivors a chance to escape or surrender. Perhaps there is reason to leave him off his leash for a bit longer…'_

"Ino Yamanaka and I fought a powerful Bakuton user. Using misdirection tactics combining my ninjutsu with her poisonous appliances and clan techniques, we were able to subdue her. Afterwards, we were joined by Neji Hyūga's team and a wounded Kiba Inuzuka. Hinata Hyūga was still preoccupied with General Sinō when we were ambushed by the Gobi jinchūriki."

"Did you manage to see or obtain any information about that fight that may be of interest?"

Sai paused as he searched his memories. "I… cannot say with clarity, Danzō-sama. I was heavily wounded at that time, and after a certain point, I was merely running on instinct. My memories are hazy slightly before Kakashi-sensei arrived at our location. I remembered Naruto mentioning something about holding him off until things escalated beyond his control and he had to rely on the Kyūbi, but I do not remember exactly what was said."

"I see." Danzō stated, not showing his disappointment. "Are there any other facts about him that should be noted of interest?"

The boy remained quiet for a few moments before he looked up. "Should we require to come into contact with him directly, I recommend that he not be underestimated. Depending on what we may request of him, he may cooperate with our goals… however, do not expect him to do so without assuming that he will not try to gain information on us in the process. He shares much of the mentality as his master Ghost Ōgakari, and so it will be difficult to predict how he approaches tasks or when he would attempt to try to reverse the situation on ourselves. However, so long as we don't grab his attention in any way, he should be fairly complacent with doing missions to the best of his abilities and keeping those he considers close alive and safe. All in all, I do not see him to be a liability to Konoha, save for him messing up diplomatic missions or destroying something he shouldn't have in a large battle."

"I expected as much." The leader of ROOT stated calmly as he turned around to leave. "I expect a more detailed report as soon as your health returns."

Sai remained quiet as he watched his boss leave the room. He wondered why he didn't tell him that Naruto knew how to perform Rasengan. He wondered why he didn't tell him about the incident where Naruto nearly capsized the ship. About Naruto's true threat level, should they truly decide to step out of the shadows to control the village…

He was confused… but for some reason, he had determined that he valued his friendship with the rest of the group and Naruto enough to hide information from the man who had raised him and taught him everything he knew.

As the boy pondered his latest actions, he never noticed the shadows under his bed move ever so slightly before becoming still once more…

o. o. o.

That night:

In the cover of darkness underneath the beds of several talented young shinobi, a seal glowed faintly…

Every member and teammate of the Rookie Twelve woke up suddenly and found themselves in an odd place. The endless sky was striped burning pink on the outside and pitch black down the middle. The flat earth was silver for some reason. In front of them was some sort of movie theatre style building, only there was no roof and the blank massive screen was visible from where they were standing.

"What the hell?" Ino blinked in confusion as she looked around before noticing that she was in her normal clothes and not wounded at all. "This is the weirdest dream I've ever had…"

"Ino?" Chōji blinked in confusion. "Is that you?"

"I don't think this is a dream." Shikamaru looked around warily and inspected his body. "I'm too aware of myself and my body to be asleep."

"I believe him." Tenten agreed. "If anyone can tell the difference between a normal dream and this, it would be the guy that sleeps more than the rest of us combined."

"Charmed." The Nara deadpanned.

"So I guess that means that we're all stuck in a genjutsu of some kind." Sasuke frowned as he activated his bloodline. "I can't seem to get myself out of it… or even see the chakra that's going into making this thing. In fact, it's like the sky is one huge mass of chakra and the ground is another part of the same mass, but still separate. There's no fissure or anything else for me to work with." He paused. "Wait… everyone's here?" He turned to look at Neji looking around as confused as everyone else completely healed…

Only Neji was looking around with a Byakugan in his left socket and the blue slit eyeball of Naruto's in his right.

"That's actually not a bad look for you, Neji." Kin smirked. "Gives you an exotic flair. If you start wearing your bandanna like Kakashi-sensei, you could fool people into thinking you aren't even a Hyūga."

"This place is very strange…" The Hyūga muttered, unaware or unconcerned of his current location as he inspected his body to see that he was not injured at all. Hesitating for a moment, he channeled chakra into his eyes to get a better look at himself and everything around him. Almost an instant later, he grimaced in irritation and pain as he grabbed the right side of his head.

"Neji!" Hinata rushed forward and inspected him. "Are you okay?"

"I forgot… that I had Naruto's eye now…" He muttered as he slowly picked himself up and grabbed his head. "It reacts differently to chakra. I think my mind can't handle processing two different kinds of enhanced visual information at once."

"Huh." Naruto mused curiously with his own right eye closed to show that he had lost it. "What Neji said kinda makes sense. When Kakashi-sensei uses his Sharingan, he does seem to close his other eye most of the time." He looked around some more. "Still, this place beats being stuck in my hospital room by a small bit. Still needs some ramen though…"

However, when no one was looking, the boy's single eye narrowed. ' _Why the hell are we here? This place is…'_

"I think right now we must focus on the matter at hand, which is: where are we?" Shino stated calmly. "We are all healed and in one place…"

"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE, JUST COME INSIDE THE DAMN BUILDING ALREADY!" The raging voice of Shadow Ōgakari echoed from the sole landmark there, answering most of the questions running through the teens' minds.

"Well… we should have seen that coming." Kiba sighed, getting a bark of agreement from Akamaru, before walking to the aforementioned structure. "Might as well go before lady dragonbreath loses her cool and murders us for making her wait more."

Grumbling in acknowledgment that something probably bad was going to happen soon, the teens reluctantly made their way to the building and up the stairs to where they heard some kind of action film playing. To some of them, the scenes seemed to be very familiar for some reason, even though they couldn't identify what movie the scenes were from…

Finally opening the door to the roof, the kids opened it to reveal something that they honestly could say they would never have expected…

Ghost and Shadow were leaning back in recliners on the massive roof watching a big screen recording of Naruto fighting Han, blow for blow… and off to the far right side of them was the Kyūbi, laying down on the ground with Kushina and Minato also in EZ chairs, watching just as comfortably.

"Bout time you numbnuts got here!" Shadow shouted to their stunned students as the film Naruto spawned a mass of wind blades from his arms at the charging Han.

"Th-th-th…" Hinata stammered completely frozen as she stared and pointed at the largest sentient being on the roof, completely petrified in fear.

"You… have got… to be shitting me." Naruto blinked as he looked at his parents and the Kyūbi just lying there. "Why the hell are you three playing along with this? Normally you try to STOP crap like this from happening!"

" **You know that even I wouldn't dare to throw my weight around in this realm, brat."** Kyūbi replied calmly with his massive head lying on his paws. Somehow the building had grown near infinitely when the kids had traveled to the roof, as his body was comfortably lying flat on the ground. Every one of Naruto's friends flinched at the beast's deep and malevolent voice. The fox glared up at the sky for a moment before returning his gaze to the screen. **"Besides, it is somewhat appealing to watch you humiliate the Gobi's container again. I have had no reason so far to argue against our current condition."**

"It's been a while since we've been to the movies." Kushina shrugged as she drank some soda, causing almost all the kids to realize that two normal human sized people were somehow comfortably sitting next to the enormous fox. "Besides, other than the ones that already know that we are here, everyone's going to forget that Minato and I were here in the first place."

"Y-Y-Yondaime-sama?" Sai whispered in complete shock as he identified the blonde haired man sitting next to the red head and the Kyūbi.

"Holy shit, Naruto looks just like him." Kiba blinked in disbelief. "And he's just sitting there without a care… next to the fucking _Kyūbi_ …"

"He really wasn't joking." Ino looked at the legend with wide eyes. "But… does that mean that we're stuck between heaven and earth or something?"

Minato laughed. "No, Ino. When I sealed Kyūbi, I stuck some of Kushina's and my chakra into the seal as a precaution. Due to some events, our energy's been enhanced so that we are now fully conscious inside of Naruto."

"I have three people in my heaaaaaad…" Naruto wept depressed to the side.

"I guess this confirms it then." Kin smirked nervously in an attempt to regain her composure. "Naruto really has a legitimate excuse to be crazy."

"Wait…" Shino frowned as he watched the fighting on the screen. "This is a recording of Naruto fighting what appears to be the man that was brought in critical condition. Who took it?"

"We did of course!" Ghost stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Oooh! Wait! Here's my favorite part!"

"Two for two." The movie Naruto smirked darkly as his clone shoved an exploding kunai up movie Han's rear end and blew up, causing the two Ōgakari there to laugh their heads off.

"Ahahaha!" Shadow held her sides. "Oh man, that's perfect execution right there!"

"Heheh. I know." Ghost chuckled. "Oh man, it's like the old days when we'd piss off those overconfident huge demons and shove bombs there as well. The looks that were on the other's faces when they went off… eheheheh… Good times. Goooood times."

" **Obviously, the rumors of how dangerous your kin are were vastly underetimated."** The sole bijū there sarcastically commented.

"Hold on a sec!" Ino shouted angrily. "You mean to tell me… that you two could have come out at any time… and not only prevented that horrible event from happening… but you RECORDED the ENTIRE THING JUST TO WATCH FOR ENTERTAINMENT LATER?"

"For the most part, yeah." Shadow grinned. "It's not like we could just jump out and do whatever we wanted. We'd get into a butt load of trouble if people found out that we were actually there. It would look bad for Konoha too, no matter what our reasons were. As it stands, we did the right thing. Besides, Kakashi was there with help anyways, so we really weren't needed at all in the first place." She paused. "Oh… but if you're pissed about the films, don't worry. We already made copies of the entire thing and hid them in all of your dressers. It's really good stuff. Just don't bother to try to show it to anyone. If anyone else watched the video, all they'd see and hear is static."

Shino ignored the film, which was showing Naruto exploit his replacement technique abilities to the fullest and glared at the siblings. "You still could have done something productive." He sternly stated. "I have lost much respect for you if you are able to stand by and watch your supposedly precious students fight for their lives over something they do not understand."

Ghost snorted. "Please. First of all, midget actually did lend a small hand in one of the fights. It was just in a way that no one would notice. Hell, you guys could watch all the fights a hundred times and probably only one or two of you would figure out what she actually did. Second, shit like this happens all the time. Getting ambushed for no reason with no backup. Getting targeted by some mystery group. Getting betrayed. You live in a shinobi run society. If you aren't expecting shit like this, then you are bound to get truly fucked over at some point in your career. THEN, while you're standing there looking like a dumbfounded moron, your opponent will just walk to you and stab you in the face, because you're so preoccupied with thinking 'oh my god this can't be happening' or being stuck in denial. Real professionals LIVE for exploiting that moment. This was a good lesson for you brats."

"Lesson?" Neji whispered quietly before utterly snapping and charging at Ghost in a bloody rage. "LESSON! I LOST MY FUCKING EYE, YOU SOCIOPATHIC BASTARD!"

He didn't even make it half way before his entire body stopped and was lifted into midair, where he stayed, unable to move or do anything. "Oh boo hoo." Ghost mock wept without even bothering to turn around. "You lost an eye. Big deal. I know guys that have been imprisoned, raped, and tortured for years due to shit luck and assholes who they considered friends. Some of them even had good reasons for doing so. Guess what? A good number of them have gotten over it and made something of themselves afterwards. Life sucks and is unfair sometimes. Remember how your dad died? Same thing. Use the experience to get stronger and not let things surprise you anymore, only in this case, the lesson isn't that the world can be cruel, it's that the world can go to hell in an instant and if you freeze to try and convince yourself that it's actually happened, you're most likely going to die."

Shadow turned to them and frowned. "In your kind of world, the moment you are truly surprised by anything is the moment you are beaten. Let Neji's eye be a reminder for you that these things can come from both friend and foe. Friends can be enemies and enemies can be friends at any time. People close to you can die in your arms at any time for any reason. Realize that highly improbable events are not impossible, and as such, don't be surprised if they happen."

"As much as I disagree with their execution of this lesson…" Minato sighed. "I have to agree with them. Not many know this, but Naruto's life had been put in danger by a powerful enemy assailant less than a minute after he was born for multiple reasons. Had I hesitated for even a moment, not only would he have died along with myself, but it would have led to Konoha truly being destroyed by Kyūbi here." He smiled sadly. "Normally with enough experience you would eventually be able to develop a tolerance for these kinds of situations… unfortunately, you do not have that sort of time on hand."

Said bijū growled malevolently. **"Make no mistake. I despise you, Namikaze. However, that hatred is nothing compared to what I feel for that loathsome human and his kin. That is the only reason why I am even remotely cooperating with you for the time being."** He then turned his head and glared at the teens… no, at Sasuke, and increased his killing intent. **"I do not like being treated like some kind of mindless tool, and being caged… however, to be manipulated as I was such that even my thoughts could not be considered my own…"**

Sasuke swallowed heavily as he understood what the Kyūbi was talking about. The man with the mask that had ruined all of their lives that day…

They were all snapped out of their thoughts when chakra chains burst out from Kushina's body and pinned down the enraged beast. "Kyūbi! Calm down! You know what will happen if you push your luck here!"

Tenten gaped. "Naruto… did your mom seriously just force the Kyūbi of all things to heel?"

The blonde rolled his eye. "Yeah, well, it kinda comes with being its container before me."

"Wait… what?" Kin blinked in confusion.

"Long story." The current jinchūriki corrected as he turned to his teacher again, frowning as he did so. "I get that you were trying to teach us a lesson, Ero-nii, but this was a bit much, even for you…"

Ghost snorted. "The point wouldn't have been made if this wasn't cruel. What, should I simply wait for one of you to become a traitor and kill the others before it sinks in?" Naruto, Shikamaru and Sakura flinched noticeably at the man's jab. "You live in a violent world that moves quickly. If you are caught off guard and actually waste time to convince yourself that it happened, you're already dead. Ignore the crap that society teaches you about how things should be and simply react to the way things are in the present. Life sucks sometimes. Understand that to your very core, and you'll be far more likely to live longer." The screen flashed as it showed Naruto and Han fighting with their cloaks on.

"That doesn't excuse what you did!" Neji yelled, still distraught. "What gives you the right to do what you did to us and pretend that everything is fine?"

" **What gave humans the right to imprison me for over a century?"** The Kyūbi growled at Neji annoyed. **"The strong and the able dictate the rules of the world, and even then, we know that sheer happenstance events can turn that rule on its head. That is merely how things work, no matter how much you believe your pathetic human social rules are what truly makes the planet turn. Still your tongue. Your pointless crying is irritating me more than my container's ramblings about that sickening concoction called ramen."**

"Sociopath…" Shikamaru frowned, grabbing everyone's attention. "You're basically telling us to become sociopaths in order to deal with any situation that we might come across… like you guys…"

"Eh." Shadow tilted her right hand side to side. "A bit. To be honest, if we left you alone and you kept on fighting and somehow lived through all the crap that's going to happen in the next few years, you'd probably end up turning into one anyway to deal with the stress. It happens to a lot of war veterans. We're just kinda trying to get you guys into the loop so it doesn't hit you that hard. That way, you won't end up dead like brainless rookies or the happy married couple over there." She pointed to the Namikaze couple who shot her a less than happy glare. "Or god forbid you don't develop the right mentality in time or correctly and… well…"

"What?" Sakura frowned as she looked at the woman. "What could happen? We go crazy? We start killing everyone around us in paranoia?"

Shadow paused for a moment before leaning out of her chair and smiling to the kids sadly. There was no confidence in her eyes. There was no energy. There wasn't even really any innocence in them. They were old. Tired. Weary. Sad. Defeated.

And absolutely devoid of all hope.

"Worse. You end up completely broken like us."

o. o. o.

Neji woke up suddenly in his hospital room. It was still the middle of the night if the lack of light was any indication, and the sounds of the insects outside only supported that fact.

Still inside the numerous wrappings and casts that encased his body, the boy remained quiet and pondered what he had just learned.

He couldn't trust the Ōgakari anymore… at least, not to the degree that he once did. Their reasons for what they did… were both fully founded and completely inexcusable at the same time. He could work with them. He could even trust them with missions and maybe, with enough time, his life again… but the fact that they stayed behind and watched while he almost died so painfully would never leave him.

Looking to his side, the boy saw the scroll that they had left him. Part of him wanted nothing more than to burn the damn thing into dust… however, his rational side knew that whatever it held would probably keep him alive in the future if it truly was as dangerous as he was just told. Despite the pain that came with merely reaching out to grab the parchment, the boy managed to grab hold of his reluctant gift and looked at it. The sooner he got strong enough, the sooner he could not rely on that unstable clan for aid.

"You better be worth all this trouble…" He muttered irritably as he slowly unraveled the paper after memorizing the two kanji that were on the front, most likely telling the boy what the style's name was… if he decided to keep it that was…

"Honestly." He muttered. "What kind of name is Kiritsugu, anyways?"

o. o. o.

Omake:

Why Shadow can never use giant robots against Scabbard and win:

Attempt #14:

"Go Lancelot!" The gleeful woman squealed as she rolled forward in the robot she had lifted from a Code Geass universe with both blades drawn. "Let's go kill my brother!"

Scabbard watched his sister charge at him in the metal construct, dashing left and right as if to appear intimidating. Shaking his head, the man constructed a simple but strong metal pole in his hands, took aim… and threw it into one of the wheel shafts that was propelling the giant piece of machinery. Almost instantly, the rod caught in the inner machinations of the device, forced it to explode, launched the robot into the air over the man, and caused it to land on its head, where it blew up moments later.

"You don't put wheels on giant humanoid robots to make them move." He frowned. "Ever."

Attempt #45:

"This hand of mine burns with an awesome POWERRRRR!" The excited woman shouted excitedly from inside Burning Gundam, its right hand was indeed on fire and…

BOOM!

Scab merely glanced at the giant trench in the earth he had just made with an outstretched palm. Shadow and her robot were no longer in sight. "Mine burns with a stronger one."

Attempt 82:

"Ahahahahahaha!" Shadow laughed gleefully in Gundam Wing Zero as she pointed the twin buster rifle at her brother from the sky and began to prepare for a full output shot. Despite the fact that she was nowhere near as tech savvy as other super geniuses in the multiverse, she HAD managed to figure out how to overclock the monstrous weapon to give it an even bigger boom. "Vengeance will be mine!"

Zap! Boom! A small bolt of lightning hit one of the major joints in the robot's wings and blasted it off just before the girl fired, causing her to launch herself wildly in the air before crashing into the earth with a massive explosion.

"Giant tricked out wings. Good for artistic appeal… but highly inefficient for combat mechs." The intelligent man shook his head. Despite that weakness, Wing Zero was one of his favorites…

Attempt #286:

"More DAKKA!" Shadow roared as she manifested an entire army of robot grunts to do her bidding…

Scabbard blinked before taking out a small device with a button and pressed it casually, making all of the robots blow up at once and taking the woman out with them. "… Still needs more dakka."

Attempt #540:

"I really wouldn't use that one if I were you." Scab offhandedly advised as a giant blue robot with a red muscle car for a head and flaming decals stared down at him.

"You fool!" Shadow gleefully laughed as she grabbed the nearest videogame controller she could find and began mashing buttons. "I should have done this over a hundred attempts ago! Even you don't know all of the secrets to this mech! Victory is Mi-!" Her cry of triumph was interrupted as the robot she was manning suddenly began to impale itself relentlessly with a light saber style sword before firing off multiple grenades straight up into the air, punched itself constantly in between the legs and began breakdancing before the grenades exploded in the sky and rained burning ice spears onto it, causing it to self-destruct instantly.

"I tried to warn you." The man sighed and shook his head. "There's a reason why I never could get my versions of the thing to work."

Attempt # 1821:

Scabbard didn't even try say anything as he walked away and ignored his sister trying to not get eaten by the Evangelion that had gone berserk the instant she had gotten inside.

Attempt # 6319

"THAT'S IT!" The enraged woman roared as she piloted a fully decked out and upgraded Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann and glared at her brother through the monitors, seeing as the giant robot was several dozen times larger than a galaxy. "I tried being nice, but no more! This time I will be triumphant! I will beat you at your own game, brother! You will have to fight me seriously now with a mech!"

Scab merely looked at the sky and shook his head as if the woman had missed something important. "Sister?" He stated casually.

"WHAT?" She yelled through the speakers.

"What color are the flames that make up that robot's body?" He asked simply.

"WHAT KIND OF RETARDED QUESTION IS THAT? THEY'RE GREE…" She paused before she connected the dots in her mind, completely ignoring the flashing warning lights and increasing temperature around her. "No." She stated disbelievingly.

"Yep." The man merely replied as he caused the robot to self-destruct via simple mental trigger to its power source.

The woman sagged and put her face in her hands. "Scab… you… MAGNIFICENT… MOTHER… FU…"

The bearer of the infinitely powerful emerald flame turned and walked back to the house as the sky erupted in a massive green light. "Tell me something I don't know."

Please note: That was all canon.

o. o. o.

Omake 2: Why only the brave, suicidal, and morally depraved ever go to Scabbard's interdimensional weapon conventions:

The air was silent as the two main groups in the convention stared one another down maliciously, with scabbard standing in the middle as a referee. "Each team, please chose your champion." He ordered casually.

From one side consisting of mainly individuals in shining armor and large muscles, a man with white hair, tan skin, black armor and a red shawl walked forward.

From the other side, which consisted of many individuals bearing on average more technologically advanced equipment, a furry cat-like alien, almost half the size of his opponent emerged. He had multiple glowing devices on his person, a massive wrench hooked to his side, and a box shaped compact robot strapped to his back.

"Well, I can certainly see why you belong with that side." The human snorted as he arrived in the arena, making a not so subtle crack at his opponent's height.

"Keep talking and I'll gladly show you why size matters." The alien growled.

The robot on his back rolled his eyes. "We're all going to die."

"GUUUUUNNSSS!" Roared the side from behind the alien.

"SWOOOOOORRRDDSS!" Echoed the side behind the human in retaliation.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Aliens, Robots and everything in between!" Scabbard announced. "Let us commence the seventh annual weapon supremacy match! Fighting for all things sharp and pointy, Counter Guardian EMIYA!"

"COUNTLESS BLADES! MAKE THEM BLEED! NONE CAN STAND TO THE MASTER'S CREED!"

"Fighting for all things that go boom! Ratchet and Clank!"

"DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"

Hundreds of bladed weapons appeared above the counter guardian just as Ratchet took out the infinity plus one gun, a weapon literally twice the size of his body that was so powerful and dangerous even by intergalactic standards that it originally never made it past the blueprint phase… and it also played the 1812 overture when held on auto fire.

"Without further wait, LETS GET READY TO RUUUUUMMMBLLLEEEEEEEEE!"

The convention was permanently canceled by the multiverse's gods after the twenty seventh convention, when things finally escalated to an uncontrollable level including but not limited to a moment where the world consuming sword known as Slash Emperor was used against a fully charged Death Star laser blast… which in turn led to the destruction of the entire hosting galaxy…

Scab made a killing off selling the video recording of that little event.

o. o. o.

A/N:

I was planning to make this a bit longer, but since everyone had been waiting for it for so long, I decided to cut my losses and get on with it. Anything I didn't cover with everyone's return in this chapter will be done in the next.

For those who doesn't know anything about where the name of Neji's style comes from… well let's just say that it's really… REALLY game breaking. So much so that I can hear those who do know where it comes from screaming in anticipation and excitement.

This chapter was really hard for me to write though for some reason, which is most of the reason why it took so long. Plus with grad school and work… yeah. Not fun. Plus I forgot how long it takes to make chapters this long.

On the bright side, thanks to college, I think I figured out how to blow up the Raikage with a capacitor. Yay science

Sooo. That's really all I got for now. Current goal is 4k by ch 75. It's not an impossible goal all things considered, and thanks to recent mass reviews YAWALEH is over the 50 reviews per chapter mark... granted it is the earlier ones that are holding it back but still it's a very good sign.

Review! Worship the Log! FUS RO DAH! AND REVIEW AGAIN!


	75. It's official. Anyone who decides to go by the name of Madara Uchiha inherits the ability to be an S-class asshole and S-class troll. May the log have mercy on all your souls.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 74: It's official. Anyone who decides to go by the name of Madara Uchiha inherits the ability to be an S-class asshole and S-class troll. May the log have mercy on all your souls.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Ōgakari Compound Training Ground:

"So when do you think Hana will come over to kick your ass for not helping out the brat's group?" Shadow asked curiously as she sat on a small hill and looked down at her meditating brother. It had been several days since they had freaked out their new students, and so far the pair had yet to hear anything from them, not that they were worried.

"A few more days to a week." Ghost shrugged calmly while in a lotus position, memorizing and feeling every small gentle breeze that occurred within a several mile radius of his person. "I made the videos so that she and Anko could watch them as well, even though the kids don't know it yet."

"We really are horrible examples of human good will, aren't we?" Shadow chuckled sarcastically as she twirled her right hand casually and caused several massive spears of darkness to shoot from her silhouette and arc towards her brother. "But then again, we are also tainted with the mentality of immortals…" In their descent, the long constructs shed their outer layer of darkness to reveal the smooth crystalline surface of diamonds…

She watched unsurprised as said diamond lances disintegrated in midair via an unseen source before they even got close to their target.

Again and again, objects designed for impalement materialized from the host of the Sky Mother and bore down on her elder sibling, each salvo made of different materials and compounds ranging from organic to alloys that had no real name in human tongues. Regardless, each and every one of them shared the same fate of turning to dust as soon as they were fully materialized by the unseen invisible force.

Shadow smirked. "No matter how many times I see it in action, I never get tired of it. That trick of yours really is something terrifying, brother. Oscillating and grinding air particles at the right frequency and amplitude to erode away anything physical within mere moments, regardless of composition. War Scars may be your favorite air based technique, but this one is by far your most intimidating."

It was almost amusing. Shadow possessed the ability to create virtually anything she wanted from the element that represented the concept of nothing the best, darkness. Likewise, Ghost had the ability to destroy - or to be more specific, remove from existence - anything he wished through the element that represented the concept of destruction the best, fire.

It was ironic… considering the fact that…

"Only if someone is left to actually remember or react to it, sister." Ghost replied with an equal grin. "It's a shame that the minion can't learn this, though. Hypersensitivity to wavelength activity is an extremely rare ability these days."

"You make it sound like you had it to begin with, too." Shadow rolled her eyes. "The only reason why you have it in the first place is because you're blind and used your Seventh Sense to enhance your tuning abilities when you were screwing around with musical instruments for fuck knows how long."

The blind immortal snorted. "I accidentally developed the ability to determine perfect pitches and compound frequencies. So sue me. If you hate it so much, I won't tune your bass anymore…"

The sugar crazed sister gasped. "No. No. There's need to drag in innocents into this. Princess Lucy deserves only the best care possible, and you are included into that category."

"I thought so." The elder brother chuckled before two sets of ringing interrupted the pair's minor clash of threats. "Hm?" The man mused curiously as he took out a small device that instantly projected a small screen in front of him, ignoring the fact that Shadow was doing the same thing. "Now that's odd. Normally the boys in the family don't bother to call us for any favors since they can handle most problems by themselves. I wonder what's… happening…" He paused as he briefly scanned the message in front of him and then read it rapidly once more without moving in the slightest.

The air was silent as neither sibling moved from their spot.

" **You're not going."** Ghost stated from behind his sister, wings and fire already out in their entire terrifying glory, and his face covered by his shattered black mask. His change in location had been faster than instantaneous. It was if reality had given way to his will, which had stated that he would be in another location without any travelling, motion, hint, process, or sign that he would be doing so. The rules of the world no longer applied to this existence in the shape of a human.

" **I want to ensure that the bastard stays in that hell personally…"** Shadow growled menacingly back at her brother, her eyes had warped such that one of them was ice blue and the other was a raging burning pink. Her skin had slowly began to alter itself to resemble flawless silver scales across her body… only the crevices between each one leaked out a faint black mist that saturated with relentless power.

" ** _I wish to contribute to the infidel's punishment as well."_** The Sky Mother's voice came from the girl's mouth in barely restrained savage agreement.

Both females knew that their wish would not be granted so easily…

Atlas. The curse of forcing the weight of the sky onto a target's being. It was one of the few pure air element curses in existence that did not involve the target's biological structure or reactance to different gasses, and it was among the strongest at that…

And in the single imaginary instant in time that Ghost had taken to move behind his sister, he had imposed the entirety of all the air under his control in this pocket dimension onto her, anchoring her in her spot despite her heightened state. As of the moment… the woman was not sitting on a small hill, but in the center of a small crater several dozen meters in radius.

" **Do not think less of me, sister and master. I am merely doing my job."** Ghost stated calmly, despite not moving in the slightest. **"That man is taboo around you two for a reason, not that anyone can hold it against you, and should he manage to escape the prison we crafted and take advantage of you like last time…"**

" **That was over a millennia ago!"** Shadow snapped while slowly growing in power. **"I learned from my mistakes, brother! I will not…"**

" **You have already let your lingering emotions get the better of you. We all know that the curse he imposed upon you has always affected your judgment and emotions."** The masked man spoke emptily, causing his sister to become quiet rather quickly. **"There is a reason why he was considered our equal. The ability to manipulate any and all manner of bonds in existence is a significantly terrifying power to experience firsthand… you more than anyone else know this, and it is the only reason why we have left him alive. His existence is required to keep things balanced."**

" ** _Do not forget what he has done to myself and my container… of how great the impact of his curse had upon her… and what he had done to you. We all deserve our closure when it comes to that disrespectful existence of an individual."_** Zuzushi's voice countered scathingly, causing Ghost to still more than he was already if that was possible. ** _"Regardless, you make it sound like you are less of a fearsome existence than he is… God of None…"_**

Had Shadow not been utterly enraged by her current situation at the moment, she would have been feeling somewhat apprehensive and dare she admit it… scared… of her brother as of then. Of ALL the things that a person could call the man known as Ghost… addressing him by his unwanted official title was the absolute worst thing to do. Even the vast majority of gods in existence knew better than to do such a thing… especially after what he did in the Thousand Night War…

Hell. He was the reason _why_ the incident was called the Thousand Night War in the first place…

The black flame wielder remained quiet before the weight on his sister instantly increased in intensity, and the crater beneath her instantly grew several thousand meters in radius and depth. A normal human would be turned to paste under this weight before they even knew that they were dead. A Bijū would most likely be unable to move a muscle for years on end… however, despite the severity of the pressure, it only caused the woman to hiss somewhat in pain and irritation as she sunk to a knee.

" **Do not assume that I have forgotten or forgiven the overachieving fool for what he did to us or that I will ever do so. However, do not also assume that I will forget you calling me my title either, Sky Mother. Your immaturity only vindicates my decision to restrain you here. Waltz, Crypt and I will be the ones to ensure that the prick stays where he is. You will stay in this universe to monitor things while we are gone, and Scabbard will proceed to manipulate things from behind the scenes."**

Shadow chuckled darkly as her Presence rose, increasing its savage and powerful intensity until there was nothing left to the sensation but primal power whose essence predated instinct itself. She now was defined as the point at which all things had come from. A single place that possessed such indefinable power and possibility that those who could retain their sanity for a long enough time would be able to determine or assume that it was the source of all creation and potential... **"You know that we will not simply roll over and agree to your request, brother…"** She growled menacingly as she stood up straight, despite the tremendous mass that had been imposed onto her being.

All around them, the world began to shake as pockets of darkness appeared, both in the sky and in the ground, as if reality had suddenly began to develop holes in its supposedly perfect structure and give way to the female's greater will, giving birth to shapeless unknown existences that emerged from the countless wombs that had appeared.

Reality was breaking, and neither sibling cared in the slightest.

" **I did not expect you to."** The God of None replied in an emotionless tone as the unraveling world they were in suddenly stood still…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Freedom!" Shouted a one eyed blonde boy as he stepped outside for the first time in a week. It was a fairly good day with a few clouds in the sky and the temperature was warm enough that most people were beginning to wear lighter attire.

"Brat, keep your mouth shut or else I'll make this a temporary leave." Tsunade grunted tiredly as she followed Naruto into the sun.

Shizune giggled behind her master as she walked behind her master. "You can't blame him, Tsunade-sama. You know how he hates hospitals, not to mention the fact that he's been interrogated relentlessly the entire time on the incident."

"I still can't believe that he complained to the council that the questioners from Iwa were doing a shitty job and that we should just get Ibiki or Anko to replace him." The Hokage rolled her eyes with a hint of amusement.

"Well, in my opinion, those two did get to the point of their questions much faster than he did." The brunette smiled sheepishly before turning to Naruto who was acting like a string of firecrackers in a tin can from the way he was jumping up and down and looking everywhere at once. "Naruto! Calm down or else we will have to keep you in the hospital some more!"

"Hell no!" The boy snapped childishly. Looking closer at the blonde, one would notice that half of his head and one of his eyes was covered by bandages. "I'm not getting stuck in that damn building anymore! Especially if all I'll be doing there is answering the same annoying questions over and over again!"

"How do you think I feel?" Tsunade crossed her arms and glared at her young distant relative. "I have to manage this entire clusterfuck because I'm your commanding officer. When I'm not making sure your team's recovering properly, I'm dealing with telling the same story over and over again to nobles and Daimyō so that we don't end up going to war."

The youngest one there glared at the Hokage with his good eye for a few moments before sighing in defeat. "Yeah. You have a point there. I only have to deal with a bunch of idiots that think I can't make a solid decision to save my life because of my age. You have to deal with all those guys that don't even know what they're doing half the time but actually treat you as if you're a threat so you can't tell if they're planning something bad or stupid."

"To be honest, I consider you part of that category as well." Tsunade grinned darkly.

"That's not fair, though!" The boy moaned childishly. "You can't prepare for the crap that we went through and you know it. Of course I was making up stuff on the fly as things happened! Hell, I set the bar on how well you can deal with missions impulsively and get away with stuff."

"Hopefully it's a bar that no one will ever manage to surpass…" Shizune muttered under her breath, terrified of the day that someone actually did manage to pull such a stunt.

"Don't say that to Gai." Tsunade replied in a hushed tone. "He'd actually take it as a challenge."

"That's a terrifying thought." Naruto shivered before calming down again. "I forgot to ask. Baa-chan, other than me, who else is healed and out of the white building of offensive smells?"

The Hokage's eyebrow twitched. "If you must know, everyone save for Sai, Lee and Neji are deemed fit enough to go home, though almost all of them are still required to check in every few days to make sure that they are recovering properly." She stared down at the boy dangerously. "That goes double for you, brat. I've never seen an eye grow back before via regeneration, so I want you to visit every damned day so I can study that thing growing in your skull and make sure it's at least developing the way it should be." Her eyes flashed. "And trust me, I'll know if you try to skip out on your appointments."

The jinchūriki's demeanor calmed down as he started at her casually. "Let me guess. It has something to do with the two teams of ANBU hidden around here that happen to be watching our every move."

Shizune nodded, not that surprised that the boy had picked up on their hidden agents nearby so quickly. "Han is still being treated here so that he can be transported to Iwa later. As such, there are many ANBU from his village lingering here so that there isn't any foul play on our part, but in the meantime, we have to make sure that nothing happens to you as well. You are a greater asset to us than Han is to his home, and the revelation of your identity will not sit well with many of them. Please understand that we have to take precautions."

"Yeah, yeah." The younger blonde pouted, knowing what she was saying was true. "Just don't be surprised if I try to ditch them at some point 'cause I want some privacy." He paused before looking at the two elder women skeptically. "Speaking of privacy, have you found out anything about what happened to Ero-nii and Shadow-nee?"

Shizune and Tsunade looked at one another before sighing defeated as they recalled the incident.

Several days ago, when things were still a bit on the hectic side, a massive commotion was felt and heard from the Ōgakari compound. The killing intent and shaking was so intense that it was impossible for anyone to get close to the area without having them collapse under the pressure. It had gotten to the point where several shinobi from Iwa had joined in on trying to figure out what was happening in the mercenary's home from the outside…

When roughly a third of the house was literally blown into ashes by a massive beam of pure energy that reminded many of the more experienced Iwa shinobi of Ōnoki's Dust element techniques. The mere shockwave of the unexpected explosion alone was enough to send everyone there back at least several hundred meters, and several of those thrown had experienced injuries of varying ranges, though thankfully none were lethal or permanent. Further into the village, many windows and fragile objects had shattered upon experiencing the shockwave, causing many to panic greatly.

When everything had calmed down, those who were deemed the most capable and willing to enter the building (Hana and Anko) had decided to look inside to see what or who had happened…

Among the ruins deep inside the building, they had found Shadow lying in the middle of the clan's training ground, or what was left of it, given the crater she was found in, covered in nearly countless wounds…

And crying in quiet rage.

Ghost was nowhere to be found.

Shadow had refused any and all forms of help when her brother's girlfriends attempted to aid her, warning that if anyone pushed their luck, she wouldn't be held responsible for what happened to them. A day later, she seemed to have fully recovered physically, but the woman would still not give any explanation as to what happened or where Ghost had disappeared to. Anyone who attempted to press her on the subject would either get blasted with enough killing intent to knock them out, or have Zuzushi suddenly shoot out of her host and assault the individual's face with religious passion until they ran far enough away. After the fifth ANBU was rushed to the hospital for reconstructive facial surgery, Tsunade wisely decided to put off on figuring out what happened until the woman had calmed down.

She figured that would be around the time when Shadow's eyes would return to their normal olive green color from their currently constant slit ice blue scheme.

At first, there was brief concern among the general public that whatever chaos had occurred in the home had ended up destroying the assassin's body beyond recognition, but a snort of amused disbelief from Shadow when she heard that rumor, and later by Hana and Anko had dashed that idea pretty quickly.

"Are you sure you can't think of anything that would set them off like that or cause Shadow to act the way she is right now?" Shizune asked Naruto even though she had done so several times since the incident occurred.

The blonde sighed. "Look. I really have no clue. Shadow-nee does go off on a dime a lot of the time for small stuff, but she's just as fast to recover. This? This is something different from her normal peeves, and unless absolutely needed, I am not going anywhere near those kinds of problems. I get nearly killed by them enough as it is, I'm not going to willingly try to do it again with one of their strongest when Waltz-jiji isn't there to make sure I don't get mutilated beyond repair."

"I thought the Ōgakari tried to make it a point that dwelling on personal issues was stupid and pointless." Tsunade raised an eyebrow skeptically.

The boy shifted on his feet nervously. "Most of the time, yeah, but that's with untimely deaths of loved ones and natural things like that. The deep problems they have, though? Those are on a whole different level. I only know for the most part that they exist and that they aren't things that can simply go away. They get constant reminders in one way or another that I don't know about." He looked away. "To be honest, I think that Anko and Hana-sensei know more about Ero-nii's problem than I do. Waltz-jiji's problem has something to do with kids, which was pretty much obvious from what he did during the Hyūga incident. Crypt… well, he's just crazy, and I think that Scab-nii's the only one that doesn't have much weighing down his conscience…"

"And Shadow?" Shizune asked worriedly.

"No clue." The younger blonde relented. "To be honest, she's the hardest one to understand out of all of them sometimes. Her personality covers so many ranges of emotion that it's difficult to tell what she's really like."

The two elder women looked at one another warily. They had assumed that the immortals that they were hosting were stable enough to not be an issue, but the deeper description of Shadow's personality was a cause for concern. Displaying a wide and rapidly changing personality was a concerning sign of mental instability, either in the form of dementia or some other condition. They didn't know if it was a result of her travels or due to hosting her demon, but regardless it was a concerning revelation.

"Fine. We'll drop the subject for now since pressing it will only bring more property damage, but eventually we will have to know what happened." Tsunade relented. "The council and many property owners are not very happy about the incident and are concerned about a repeat performance."

"Please." Naruto rolled his eye. "They say that every time the Ōgakari do something new, stupid, and possibly destructive." He stretched his limbs a bit and yawned. "Well, good luck with the interviews, old lady. I'm off to enjoy my time off and what remains of the money I got from exploiting my luck on the lLnd of Iron's and Moon's gambling systems."

"You do realize that I'm going to actually charge you for your medical treatments this time, right brat?" Said old woman growled dangerously.

"I said what remains of it, didn't I?" Naruto casually replied before disappearing with a shunshin.

"He seems pretty calm despite everything that's happened, doesn't he?" Shizune mused curiously. "It's sometimes hard to believe that he's the same kid we met all that time ago…"

"Hmm." Tsunade frowned before turning towards the Hokage tower. "Something tells me he isn't as calm as you might think, Shizune. Regardless, he's in enough control to leave to his own devices for now. Once things have eased up a bit more, I'll talk to him, but until then, we have more important things to worry about, such as paperwork and our meeting with the Daimyō later…"

o. o. o.

Naruto sighed as he jumped casually from roof to roof aimlessly. Despite his weakened state, travelling like this put no strain on his body in the slightest, so he was free to think about what he should do without much distraction.

"What to do, what to do, what to do…" He breathed out to himself as he practically flew through the air and leaped over a busy main street and the oblivious civilians there. It felt good to be moving freely in the air again. The lack of depth perception did not hamper his movements in the slightest, as he had long been able to jump around the village blindfolded with his Seventh Sense around to tell him where everything was.

There was a ton of things he could be doing right now. He should be visiting his team and checking up on them since he had been busy getting interviewed so much that he didn't really have much of a chance to talk to them. He could go talk to one of the sensei for advice on what he should be doing now. He could be training against Tsunade's orders. He could be looking for his other friends to see how they are doing. He could…

 **"** ** _▄▄▄▄ !"_** An unearthly sound rumbled from his organs.

"Hmm." The blonde mused. "It appears I am hungry. I probably should get something to eat, but then again…"

 **"** ** _▄▄▄▄▄▄ !"_** His stomach argued passionately, causing him to grin lightly.

"Your counter argument is both compelling and persuasive. You would make a fine politician if you were able to bribe people." Naruto nodded in acknowledgement. "Very well. I succumb to your requests. To the ramen stand we go."

Less than three minutes later, the teen had appeared in front of his favorite ramen stand so quickly that some people had done a double take at him before jumping away in surprise.

"Ramen ramen ramen ramen…" The teen sighed out loud in bliss as he walked under the flaps of the stand, believing that he would have a better idea of what he should do after his stomach wasn't planning a civil war. "Hey, old man! Give me a beef ramen! The angry organ of digestion demands it!" He shouted as he climbed up into an empty seat on the end of the stall…

And ignored the two full teams of Iwa ANBU sitting next to him.

"Coming right up!" Teuchi replied while attempting to ignore the fact that his stand might just be reduced to rubble within the next fifteen minutes.

 **"** ** _▄▄▄▄▄▄ !"_** The rebellious organ protested again loudly enough that everyone nearby heard it.

"Silence! Our sacrifice of noodles and broth is being prepared! Do not rush perfection!" The blonde chided his stomach, seemingly completely oblivious to his surroundings.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me." Muttered one of the Iwa shinobi there as he looked at Naruto through his slightly pulled up mask.

"No doubt about it." Another female visitor sighed. "That's him all right. They all said he was a bit off…"

"So how have you been anyways?" Ayame smiled happily, not at all letting the situation get to her. "You've been sending clones for ramen since you got back and I see you're still hurt. You didn't do anything stupid again, did you?"

"…Define stupid."

"Anything that would have that idiot Ghost laugh his head off and thank you for the entertainment." The female chef deadpanned.

The blonde boy laughed nervously. "… I may have done one or two things to warrant such a reaction from Ero-nii during my mission…"

Ayame sighed and rubbed her temple. "Ugh. What are we going to do with you? Every time you get involved in something big, you end up doing more damage to yourself than your opponents do!" She pointed to his wrapped head. "Let me guess, you accidentally poked out your eye in that incident that everyone's talking about, now didn't you?"

"Oh come on!" Naruto threw his hands into the air frustrated. "Even if I did lose my eye in a fight, it wouldn't have been because of something lame like that! I expected at least a bit more effort on creativity from you, Ayame-nee!"

The waitress crossed her arms. "And I expect you to actually perform a mission like everyone else for once. Every time you go out, something goes horribly wrong and you end up either changing an entire country's government, wind up somehow dragging infamous shinobi back to the village, getting horrifically injured, or all three at once!" She glared at him. "So far, I've seen that you've been injured. So tell me runt, did those other things happen on the mission too?"

Naruto's eye shrunk until it was almost all white and he looked to the side sheepishly and tapped his pointer fingers together in a Hinata-esque way. "M-maybe…" He admitted. "To be honest… I think this one may have just set the all-time bar for horrifically disproportionate missions ever recorded…" He pretended not to hear some of the Iwa shinobi there snort in amusement.

Ayame sighed. "You know what? I honestly do hope you become Hokage soon. That way you'll be forced to stop taking missions and won't accidentally change the entire continent's government structure."

"You're underestimating me again." The boy pouted. "First of all, it would take me years to pull something like that off, even with the right connections compounded onto my dumb luck. Second, a world government based off of the stuff I've pulled out of my ass would be made out of pure epicness! People would be too busy trying to be awesome to have wars! Finally, you think that I haven't figured out a way to do all that paperwork really fast and not manage to give myself time to do a mission where I can blow stuff up? Hah! I solved that problem years ago!"

"Naruto." Teuchi stepped forward with a massive bowl of ramen. "I love you like family. That being said, please shut up, eat your ramen, and stop scaring away my customers. You've been away long enough that you can't be considered my main source of income anymore, hence you have lost the privilege to be crazy while you eat here."

The jinchūriki pouted. "Just for that, you're no longer my first pick for Ministry of Food and Nutrition. I'm giving that position to Chōji." He paused and blinked for a moment. "Hey, do I still have permission to be awesome here?"

"…Why?" Teuchi asked skeptically, knowing that he probably was not going to like the answer to that question.

As if waiting for the chef to ask the question in the first place, a long beam of light swung at Naruto from behind, hidden by the stall flaps, and would have decapitated the boy had he not almost lazily raised his left arm up and instantly formed a massive wind blade to block the attack, causing everyone to jump in surprise.

"That's really high level wind element composition…" Muttered one of the Iwa shinobi who had already taken out a kunai through pure reflex. "I'm almost willing to say that's the highest I've ever seen… but who's the guy with the lightning element?"

"Rumor had it that he was good with wind… guess he had to be in order to pull off half of the stuff we've heard…" A kunoichi commented. "Still, if that's the case, it makes you wonder how good his supposed master is with it…"

"Brat didn't even look around to see how it was coming." An older man muttered. "Even if it was planned… it would take some experience to pull it off that naturally. He's good. He's very good."

"That." The blonde stated simply without even bothering to look at who had attacked him from behind, the violent clashing of the two forces of nature happening less than half a foot from his head, or the shinobi he had surprised. "You know, most people normally just say hi when they see friends for the first time in months outside of the hospital, Sasuke."

A snort from outside the stall confirmed the identity of the attacker before the lightning chakra construct disappeared and the identified attacker casually walked under the half cut flap. "You're one to talk. If I was the one just returning, you'd have tried to blow me up by now."

"If I didn't have my talons on when you pulled that stupid stunt, I would have." The wind element shrugged casually before he got back to his meal. "Good to see you."

"Oi!" Ayame barked as she took out her ladle, an instrument that struck fear into those who knew its bloody and dark history. "What have I told you two about whipping out your techniques around the stand?!"

"Technically, we were just using advanced chakra control…" Sasuke casually argued in a way that said that he knew he wasn't going to win that argument. but he didn't really care. "Glad you're not as badly maimed as the doctors said."

"I've had practice getting better from near death experiences. You've shared a few with me if I remember correctly." Naruto shrugged after downing another mouthful of ramen. "How've you been anyways?"

The last Uchiha in Konoha walked to the end of the stand and had a good look at his teammate's face. "Better than you are, that's for certain. I hear you're not even close to finishing with all those reports and meetings for that incident you got caught up in. Rumor has it you took down nearly thirty missing-nin with a single technique."

"Closer to twenty. Around five were killed by a clone before I used the technique everyone is making such a stink over. The rest were taken out by the rest of the guys except for the one that messed us all up badly. I had to deal with him personally." The blonde corrected as if it wasn't such a big deal. "It helped that they underestimated me."

Sasuke snorted. "I think you understated that just a bit. If people knew what you were truly capable of, I doubt they would even allow you to live in the village. Hell, I still don't know what you're fully capable of doing."

Naruto grinned evilly. "Don't lose too many nights sleep thinking about it. I still need you as a distraction for when I start getting my own fangirls."

"I thought that's what Hinata's for." Sasuke smirked sarcastically.

"She's a deterrent. You on the other hand are live bait." The blonde countered factually, causing many people there to sweatdrop.

"It's when you talk like that that I remember that it's almost impossible to tell if you're just joking or if you're actually being serious." The Uchiha deadpanned and crossed his arms. "So what are you going to do now that you're free? You obviously can't train right now."

"Correction, I can't do any extreme training right now." Naruto pointed out after swallowing another giant mouthful of ramen before pausing. "Huh. You know, now that you bring up training, I think I know what I should do now…"

"If you're talking about the Ōgakari's place, think again. The place is falling apart and anyone who even tempts Shadow's patience right now will find themselves in a bloody heap in front of the hospital before they even realize they screwed themselves over." Sasuke stated.

Naruto snorted as he swallowed another bite of ramen. "Fuck that. I'm crazy, not suicidal. I had something else in mind." He paused. "I think you might be in trouble."

An ANBU wearing a bird mask stood near the two boys and ignored everyone else who just noticed his presence. "Sasuke Uchiha. We must speak with you about you assaulting a fellow shinobi outside of the designated training grounds."

"It's okay, Tori." Naruto waved his hand in the air lazily. "Duckbutt and I do this to one another all the time. It's nothing new to anyone who knows us."

"It's true." Ayame sighed. "Nearly killing one another is the standard way of those two saying hi. It took me three beatings to get it through their skulls to not do the more flashy stuff here." She groaned. "Honestly, I would have settled for them just trying to punch one other senseless, but no, they have to use ninjutsu that gives us normal people heart attacks instead. Do you know that Naruto's used that transformation move in front of us so many times that dad and I can recognize it on sight now? We don't even have any shinobi training!"

The ANBU remained quiet for several moments as he stared at the female chef. No one could see what he was thinking with his mask on, but the teens were willing to bet that it was along the lines of disbelief or frustration. "… Fine then. I will let this incident pass this once. Uchiha, should you blatantly disregard the rules of the village again, there will be repercussions."

"You don't seem that surprised that he showed up, Naruto." Sasuke mused as the masked man disappeared in an instant, not at all phased by his warning. "I'm guessing he's been following you around since you got out?"

"Yep. I'm just that special." The blonde boy sighed aridly.

"You can say that again." The Uchiha smirked.

"Not enough time. Ramen." Naruto mumbled as he stuffed his mouth once more. "Umruhotufhisa?" He gargled with his mouth full.

"I've been doing a lot of errands around the village ever since you got back, running messages." Sasuke answered, not at all shocked that he could translate his teammate's question. "I haven't had much time to talk to the others since you got here… but I did hear something interesting this morning from Shikamaru."

"Muh? Muahwasga?" The ramen lover blinked curiously.

The Uchiha smirked. "That sand guy Gaara is in town with his sister."

Naruto paused from his binging before he bit off the seemingly endless supply of noodles from his bowl and swallowed it. "You're kidding me." He stated in a calm tone. "Gaara's here? Now?"

"I was as surprised as you are." The Uchiha shrugged. "If you don't believe me, go look for him yourself."

The blonde glared at his friend skeptically as multiple popping sounds erupted from around the stand followed by a fair amount of movement and some yelps of shock, surprising the Iwa shinobi there.

"Naruto!" Ayame yelled as she slammed her ladle on top of the wounded boy's head. "How many times do we have to tell you? No ninjutsu in the stand!"

"But they weren't made in the stand nee-chan!" Said culprit wept comically. "Why do you have to hit me? I'm wounded here!"

"Because you wouldn't get the point if I didn't!" The girl countered forcefully. "Besides, I hit your skull! Everyone knows that's the thickest and hardest part of your entire body!"

"Ayame-nee-chan meaaaaaan." The blonde boy cried like an infant, causing those that didn't know him to stare incredulously.

"Now, now." Teuchi laughed nervously. "Naruto just got back from the hospital. Give him some slack Ayame. It's too early for you to use the ladle on him anyways." He paused. "Speaking of which, since you used it for disciplinary means, you'll have to get a new one to serve the customers. You know the rules."

"Yesss." The blonde boy hissed and held his arms in front of him as if he was casting a spell. "Begone, evil food dispensing instrument of pain. Your wrath will not claim me this daaaay…"

WHAM!

Said instrument of pain seemed to have heard him as it flew through the air and nailed him square in the face. "Ow! Damn you, lack of depth perception!"

"Nice shot." Sasuke nodded in approval.

"This kid is bugging me more every second…" Grumbled one of the Iwa shinobi to the others, getting nods of agreement from them.

The seemingly childish chaos went back and forth for several more minutes before things finally calmed down (partially thanks to Sasuke lightly electrocuting Naruto in order to shut him up). The blonde boy irritably finished up three more bowls of ramen while doing some small talking with Sasuke before leaving. Not once had he paid any attention to the shinobi from Iwa…

"We're going to Gaara now?" Sasuke asked curiously as the two jumped roof to roof across town.

"Yep." Naruto grinned, completely ignoring the fact that his hair was now standing on end from his earlier electrocution. "I haven't seen him in a while. It'll be good to catch up with him."

"I'm guessing that you were going more nuts than normal at the stand to confuse those shinobi there." The Uchiha continued skeptically.

"Partially." The blonde admitted. "But for the most part it was because I was stuck giving everyone reports for a week. It was driving me crazy, and I'm just naturally unwinding at this point."

"You know that acting the way you did is gonna hurt their pride." Sasuke countered. "Having an idiot kid beat or kill so many of their strongest, albeit most unstable criminals, is definitely going to not go around well in Iwa."

"Better than a brat who is criminally genius and capable in his spare time." Naruto countered. "I'll piss off the standard forces, but let the smart and high ranked ones know that I know what I'm doing and that I'm not a prick. That way, if they do send guys after me, it'll most likely be only the low ranked idiots that think that all I can do is use the furball and some wind techniques." He shrugged. "Besides, I'm going on a long training trip soon, so they won't be able to find me anyways."

"I hope you're right about that." The black eyed boy mused before he noticed his friend flinch and begin to shiver. "What's up?"

"I… can feel Shadow-nee…" The blonde whispered hauntingly. "H-holy shit, they weren't kidding when they said that she's been on edge lately."

Sasuke blinked before realizing what his friend was talking about. "Oh right. You're a sensor. I heard that some of the weaker ones have had minor episodes whenever they were near her lately. Her power must be pretty nuts when she's pissed."

 _'Less nuts and more horrifically on the verge of killing everyone from the inside out…'_ Naruto mentally corrected his friend as they continued forward, whereas the woman's signature was to the right of them in one of the training areas, thankfully away from the general populace. "Baa-chan told me that no one knows what set her off yet or where Ero-nii is."

"Yeah. That's the case so far." Sasuke confirmed. "Not that anyone in our group is eager to talk to her after they told us… you know…"

"I figured most of us wouldn't take it that well." Naruto sighed. "Sometimes it's easy to forget that they have completely different morals and way of thinking than us… I don't think that they mean us ill will, but their methods…"

"Leave much to be desired." The Uchiha finished the sentence. "I think it's best if we talk about this later. I see a bunch of people following us…"

"They're just the ANBU Baa-chan sent to make sure that I'm not kidnapped or worse, left alone to my own devices." Naruto snorted.

Sasuke smirked. "Smart lady." He paused as the two jumped from another roof. "So… I have to ask… what the hell convinced you that it was a good idea to set off an exploding kunai up that Han guy's ass?"

o. o. o.

In an unidentified cave:

"You know if we keep on all meeting like this, the least Leader could do for us is prepare some food. Un." Deidara's shadowy frame mused as he and Sasori waited for everyone else to answer the call of their boss.

"Shut up, Deidara." Sasori growled. "If you're so hungry, then just stuff some of that ridiculous clay of yours in your mouth. Better yet, set it off while you're chewing it…"

"Oh shut it, you failed arts and crafts project. Just because you don't have to eat or drink anymore doesn't mean that the rest of us should suffer for it." The explosion artist snapped back.

"I see that you two are getting along fairly well as usual." Kakuzu mused as he and Hidan finally appeared. "My offer still stands, Sasori."

"Fuck you, Kakuzu." The priest growled. "You're the reason why we're late in the first place."

"I was doing my job. I AM in charge of the finances of Akatsuki, after all." The heart stealer stated simply. "Besides, considering how many times you have been the reason for our tardy history, you have no reason to complain…"

"My my… it looks like once again we're about to be bestowed some interesting news, eh Itachi?" Kisame chuckled as he and his shorter partner phased into existence. "I wonder what it could be… and on another note, how are you, old man Kakuzu? Are you back up to stock again?"

"More or less… though I would prefer to come across a stronger wind element user's heart in the near future." The miser admitted. "Still, I'm glad that we got Hidan a foot that doesn't make a racket every time he takes a step. Now I'm back to only wanting to kill him when he talks again."

"I fucking love you too… you heathen bastard." Hidan shot back loathingly.

"Be quiet." Nagato spoke through Yahiko's body as he, Konan and Zetsu appeared. "We have news about the Gobi."

"We do?" Sasori asked curiously. "I'm surprised. I'm in charge of gathering information on him, and to my knowledge, he's supposed to be still running round off his leash like the Rokubi."

"What happened to Han?" Deidara asked curiously. "Did the giant idiot get his ass killed by someone? Un?"

Zetsu's light half laughed. "Hahah. He was beaten all right, but you won't believe who took him down."

" **It was the Kyūbi's jinchūriki."** The dark half continued in his calmer and raspier tone.

"The Kyūbi's?" Deidara blinked in confusion. "Isn't he supposed to be a brat?"

"He is, but that didn't stop him from taking out the Sanbi." Kisame chuckled, clearly not surprised by this turn of events. "It looks like your little brother's friend is running quite a mean streak, isn't he Itachi? I'm almost certain that he has a better history than some of our fellow teammates now."

"… Why the fuck is everyone staring at me?" Hidan asked warily.

"I wouldn't underestimate him if I were you." Zetsu mused. "I managed to catch a good part of that fight. The kid has some pretty nasty wind jutsu under his belt and the chakra to back it up. A direct hit from any of them would be enough to take out most of us pretty easily…"

"He can summon the toad boss without much trouble too." Kisame added. "The thing you really gotta watch out for are his clones though. When he busts those out, treat them like Deidara's clay ninjutsu…" He smirked. "… only smarter."

"You starting something, bait breath? Un?" Said bomb user yelled defiantly.

"Enough." The leader stated tersely. "We had this meeting to inform you of the Gobi's situation and the Kyūbi's skill level. When we move, there is no doubt that the latter will be a major threat should you encounter him. We need to seal it last, but that does not mean that you can just ignore him should you cross paths. Unless otherwise stated, I shall be the one responsible for its capture. Regardless, trying to capture the beasts now when we still do not know the identity of their holders would just make things more difficult for us later on."

"What of the Gobi?" Kakuzu stated curiously. "Did the Kyūbi kill him?"

" **No."** The other Zetsu answered. **"He is in Konoha for medical treatment since they were working with Iwa to find him at the time. If they did not agree to heal him, he most likely would have died by now. He was hit with enough high level jutsu that I am surprised that he was still breathing in the first place…"**

"There's a lot of arguing about what's going to happen to him. The rumors range from execution to moving the Gobi to another host to even war." The white half continued. "He attacked the Kyūbi in the Land of Fire like a wild dog, so regardless of what happens to him, there's going to be plenty of tension between Iwa and Konoha for a while."

"If the Gobi is moved from its container, it would kill two birds with one stone." Kakuzu mused. "One of our targets would be completely unable to defend itself, and moving it would reduce Iwa's military power and cause them to rely on our services more. The only problem would be finding out where or who it is moved to, which shouldn't be much of an issue to determine with Sasori's resources."

"Great." Deidara grunted sarcastically. "I bust my ass to get out of that hell hole of artistically blind idiots just to be forced to work for them again. Annoying old man. Un…"

"You could always just die and save us all the trouble of dealing with you." Sasori offered, though no one could tell if he was being sarcastic or serious.

"Well, well. Isn't this a surprise?" Kisame mused with an eager grin. "Our mysterious leader himself has decided to take out the big bad target. Makes me jealous that you're the one that will put him in his place. I wanted to shave him a thousand times for each one of those clones that he's set off on me."

Itachi remained quiet.

"Do not complain, Kisame. You will have your chance to capture your target before I do." Nagato stated emotionlessly. "Has there been any word about any of the other bijū that we are attempting to locate?"

"There's been plenty of rumors going around about the Sanbi and the Yonbi." Sasori stated. "My sources tell me that Kiri has the former locked up in some underwater cave, while the Yonbi's got a mission out of Iwa. It will take a while longer to get more details…"

"Damn." Kisame clicked his teeth. "They probably hid the Sanbi in the caverns under Kiri made from old volcano activity. Unless you know how to navigate the tunnels, you'd probably end up lost, and then drown when the tide comes in. I guess we know what my target is."

"Still waiting for news about the Nanabi, but word is that she's gone to another village for political reasons." Kakuzu stated calmly. "Depending on where she went, we could have a real problem on our hands. I also confirmed that the Nibi and the Hachibi are in Kumo, which isn't that surprising, but other than the fact that the Nibi is in a woman and the Hachibi is in a man, nothing yet."

"And we already know that the Ichibi is in some brat in Suna and the Kyūbi is that blonde brat from Konoha." Deidara concluded. "I say when we go for them, we try to bag as many at once as we can. Un."

"That would not be a smart idea." Nagato rejected the idea. "It takes several days to seal a beast, and if we gather more than two at one time, then it would leave us open should we gain pursuers. At the most, we would hunt down two of them at once. Regardless, we are still not set up to store the beasts as of yet."

"Three years." Sasori stated bluntly as he and the others looked at the Rinnegan user warily.

"Approximately." Nagato confirmed. "What we are using to store the bijū in will require time to adjust to meet the specifications. Until that time, we will proceed to do what we have always done."

"Right." Deidara sighed. "More jobs for more rich uneducated idiots."

"Those uneducated idiots pay for your cloak and clay, brat." Kakuzu replied simply.

"At least it's cheaper than what Sasori-danna has to cover." The bomb artist muttered under his breath.

Technically, he was speaking the truth. Among the entirety of Akatsuki, Sasori on average ranked up the highest bill among everyone for personal expenses since he frequently went out of his way to purchase equipment for his puppets. Said equipment ranged from rare metals to custom made equipment to materials for poisons to powerful weapons. Unlike what most people would assume, Sasori didn't simply just kill or hypnotize his sources for these things, since he needed a reliable and steady source for these things and doing violent or untrustworthy actions against the ones he had would just make it far more difficult to get more of the things he needed later on. Granted, he barely needed to spend anything in terms of food and board due to his modified body but he still racked up a significant bill after big missions.

Kakuzu had the second highest bill, but that was mostly because he frequently invested large sums of money into personal projects that almost always returned what he put into it. Whenever a company didn't do well… well, he was fairly good at extortion, intimidation, and picking locks as well.

"Don't make me cut costs by using your body as a work around." The puppet master warned irritably.

"If no one else has anything productive to bring up in this meeting, then we shall end it here." The leader closed his eyes and turned away.

Silence was his reply as all the other transparent figures that he had been talking to just moments before had all disappeared.

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"You know… I have to be honest…" Temari mused as she sat down alongside Gaara, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Hinata in the garden of the Hyūga compound. "I've never been here before, but this place looks exactly as I thought it would…"

"Yep." Shikamaru yawned. "Dull, neat, and orderly. If it wasn't so uptight around here, I'd almost consider coming here for my naps."

"I am somewhat concerned for you, Nara." Gaara stated. "I am well aware of how valuable sleep is… however, your overindulgence on the activity is somewhat daunting." He looked around. "Also… I am curious as to where you would be able to find a comfortable and suitable spot to do such a thing…"

"The second branch up on the left side of that tree there looks pretty good to me..." Shikamaru pointed out lazily to a random tree in the garden.

"Pass." Sasuke yawned. "I once had to sleep in a tree because of my fangirls. It's not something I want to do again."

Hinata laughed nervously. "Please stop examining my home for unconventional places to sleep."

"Personally, I just tend to find an out of the way corner and make myself a small bed of sand." Gaara stated casually.

"He's gotten really good at it too." Temari nodded in confirmation. "He makes them so that it's all really loose so that it never packs in, plus none of the grains get caught in uncomfortable places."

"He must be invited to all the slumber parties at Suna." Shikamaru mused.

"That's my current project." Temari confirmed, not at all ashamed at saying so.

"I still suggest that you start your efforts in parties other than the standard female majority ones…" The future Kazekage stated in a way that almost sounded as if he was pouting.

"You'll thank me when puberty kicks in, little brother." The elder sister smirked, unaware of how amusing her statement was to Shikamaru, who knew how old Gaara was mentally.

"Careful. If you show too many good points, you might get fangirls." Sasuke smirked before turning his attention to the rather quiet display in front of him. "They're almost as loud and obnoxious as Naruto when he's not focused on something…"

The other teens remained quiet as they watched the blonde boy slowly go through the Hyūga clan's taijutsu stances, with Hiashi making minor corrections along the way. Surprisingly, the Uzumaki was not making any random comments or wise cracks as he did so, instead preferring to don a calm and quiet demeanor with his eye closed, almost as if he was meditating as he moved.

"You know, I keep on forgetting he can be like this when he's focusing." Shikamaru mused as he eyed his friend skeptically. "Makes you really believe that he is capable of all the things he's done."

"He looks so peaceful…" Hinata observed in a relaxed and relieved tone. "I was worried that he might be a bit stressed by now. I heard that since he had been deemed healthy enough, he had been questioned constantly about what happened with the incident and the mission itself." She smiled as she looked down at herself. Even though she had been treated fairly well by Tsunade, she was still wrapped up pretty heavily with one arm and one leg in a cast, her chest and stomach covered in wrappings and some gauze around her head.

"No…" Gaara frowned. "I believe he is still suffering from the stress a bit."

"You noticed it too, huh?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I expected maybe Shikamaru to pick it up, but I'm surprised you did as well.

"Uzumaki and I share many qualities." The ex-insomniac stated. "It is rather simple for someone like me to see it."

"Huh?" Temari blinked in confusion. "What? What did you see?"

"Look at how deep he is into this." Shikamaru pointed out. "Calm breathing, no jokes, only reacting when Hiashi-sama is correcting his stances. He's blocking out the world on purpose because he's trying to calm himself down."

Sasuke nodded. "I've seen him meditate multiple times before. He's pretty good at it, and sometimes you could swear that he's either asleep or a statue, but if you get close enough, he'll eventually try to start a conversation… at least a small one." He nodded his head to the blonde. "He hasn't said a word since he started."

"If what you claimed about his current situation is true, then I am not surprised that he is like this." Gaara stated. "Iwa has always been a rather stubborn village to deal with, and their Daimyō are almost as arduous as my own countries'. I have little doubt that Uzumaki has been required to recount his mission more than anyone else less, out of necessity and more likely because the political figures on all sides are trying to find some hole to exploit."

"Naruto's a bit thick at times, but even he knows when to keep his mouth shut." Shikamaru mused. "Unless he did something like asking for that scar guy Ibiki to interrogate him so that no one can question the results of his answers and thus draw things out even more, he wouldn't try and make many cracks about the situation."

"Fifty ryō says he did ask for Ibiki, and Anko to boot." Sasuke snorted as he watched Naruto move step by step with his eye closed through his stances at a perfect pace, having finished holding each individual one like a statue for a few minutes each.

"The proctors for the Chūnin Exam tests?" Gaara asked. "No. Knowing Uzumaki, it is more likely he asked for both than just one."

"Should I find it concerning that one of the first real friends you have ever made is well… him?" Temari asked skeptically.

"No." Hinata denied while looking awkwardly to the side.

"Yes." Shikamaru and Sasuke nodded at the same time, shooting down the blonde's not official girlfriend without any hesitation.

"I'd be more concerned if I was still the unstable person I was before meeting him." Gaara stated, putting things into perspective.

"Touché." Temari relented.

"… Why are you here in the first place?" Sasuke asked curiously while looking at Gaara. "Your sister normally serves as an emissary from Suna, but you've never been here other than for the Chūnin Exams."

Neither of the two time travelers reacted awkwardly or looked at one another as the red head replied. "I've been asked to perform a favor for the Hokage. I'm not at liberty to say any more about the subject."

"That's odd." Hinata tilted her head to the side. "I wonder what Hokage-sama wanted that required her to ask for help from Suna."

"Don't bother thinking about it." Shikamaru yawned. "It's probably above our clearance level, and more than likely doesn't involve us at all."

"Can't blame them for being curious though." Temari smirked.

"Speaking of foreigners, does anyone know how long those guys from Iwa are going to be here?" Sasuke asked tiredly. "I've seen them every once in a while around town and they always give me those wary looks whenever they see me. I doubt that they're dumb enough to start anything, but their glares are getting annoying."

"You're talking to the wrong people if you want to complain about others glaring at you." Gaara stated bluntly.

"Just ignore them." Shikamaru yawned. "You'll get a mission out of the village soon enough.

"I'd rather be training." The Uchiha sighed. "Kakashi's been out on a lot of missions lately, and the Sandaime's too busy helping the Hokage with the current situation to give me any tips on advanced fire style manipulation. Other than using shadow clones to brush up on my elemental affinities and some of my jutsu, I haven't been making much progress for the past few weeks. It makes me miss that Kimimaro guy."

Shikamaru's and Gaara's eyes widened considerably at the name. "Sasuke… please don't tell me that you're referring to a very troublesome guy that's slightly older than us with white hair and does certain things with his bones." The shadow wielder asked hopefully.

"Sounds like you've run into him before." Sasuke mused. "Probably beat you as badly as he did me."

"How… do you know him?" Gaara asked somewhat warily.

"Scab took Tenten and me to some hidden base somewhere where he stays so we could train for the swordmaster tournament." The Uchiha shrugged. "He practically destroyed both of us at once with only his taijutsu and a sword made from one of his bones. To be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if he was on the dobe's level when he's serious."

Hinata's eyes widened in surprise. "He was that strong?"

"And fast, and skilled, and emotionless, and durable." The Uchiha added. "I could barely follow him at times with my Sharingan up."

"Of course." Shikamaru sighed with his head in his hands. "I should have figured that those troublesome bastards had done something with those guys."

Temari whistled. "Damn. Sounds like he's one tough guy to deal with. Makes you wonder how those Ōgakari guys deal with him."

"The same way they probably deal with everyone else." Gaara sighed.

"Confuse them beyond rationality before exposing them to absurd amounts of power and intelligence." Shikamaru concluded, getting the others there to nod in agreement with his statement. "I wouldn't be surprised if the rest of us are taken to train at that place within the next few years."

"Good luck." Sasuke snorted before freezing. "Speak of the devil."

"Huh?" Temari blinked in confusion. "What are you talking about?" She turned to Gaara who was also sitting stiff. "Gaara?"

" **Don't. Move. Don't. Blink. Don't even breathe."** Shukaku hissed in a strained and freaked out tone to his container despite the fact that the seal was supposed to help block out most of his insane ranting. **"If you catch her attention now, when she's pissed. Then. We. ARE. FUCKED!"**

"Troublesome." Shikamaru grumbled, a bit unnerved himself, before turning to Hinata, who was frozen stiff. "Could you tone down the barely contained killing intent, Sensei? It's a bit much."

"I agree with the young Nara." Hiashi stated as he turned around from the absolutely still Naruto to see Shadow watching quietly from the roof of one of the bordering buildings. "Would you be so kind as to not be so… distracting? I am trying to teach your brother's student." Despite the man's polite demeanor, an experienced fighter could tell that he was slightly on edge as he glared into the ice blue, bordering silver eyes of the only female Ōgakari.

The black and pink donned woman didn't say anything for several moments as she continued to look down upon Naruto's still form and Hinata's a short distance further. She knew why he wasn't moving or saying anything. It was one thing to be sensitive to killing intent, it was another thing to be exposed and somewhat experienced to Presence. Presence was not limited to expressing the will to murder, but also any other emotion as well. Those that were able to use the ability only moderately well, or at the very least were not as mentally strong, were sometimes overwhelmed by the stronger users when the latter were experiencing extreme emotions…

And right now, she was extremely pissed. Calm, pissed, and in a great deal of emotional pain... not that she physically showed the latter two.

"Sorry, Hiashi. I was just checking out how the kid was doing." The woman replied in an even tone without looking at the clan head. "I heard he got out today."

"It seems more like you are putting the fear of god into him from my perspective." The man observed as he glanced at Naruto, who had paled considerably and was not moving from his spot.

Shadow snorted and smirked briefly at the hidden fact that she was technically doing just that, literally. "Not intentionally."

"I take it your current mood has something to do with that incident several days ago." Hiashi continued, despite knowing that talking about it was well known as taboo with the woman. "I do not know or care much about what occurred, but I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't bring it into my home."

"Oh trust me, Hiashi, if I brought it into your home, there wouldn't be a home by now." The woman sighed aridly and flipped her hair casually. "Right now, what you are feeling is the mere smoldering embers of my initial displeasure. Please, continue training the minion. It would be good experience, being exposed to something like this."

"I believe that if may be a bit too much for him." The man frowned as he observed Naruto and was secretly disturbed. The boy had supposedly gone up against bijū before, oppressive chakra and all, but this faint feeling that the woman was exerting was having more of an effect on him than anything he had heard of. "Any more, and I am afraid he may pass out from the pressure and his wounds."

"I doubt it." Shadow argued with her draconic eyes flashing momentarily. "My brother has exposed him to far more intense Presence in the past. While I may be going a bit overboard with the other kids, the minion should be able to handle it." She sighed casually and shrugged. "Though I do admit that my emotions are a bit more… active today than normal, so I assume that has something to do with it."

"I see your point." Hiashi agreed. "Your body language is actually somewhat readable, unlike the norm… though that only helps confirm the fact that you are most irritable at the moment."

The immortal snorted. "Imagine that. All that talk about your eyes being all seeing and the best they can do is tell you something redundant. Who would have guessed?"

"Indeed." The bloodline wielder muttered, not appreciating the jab at his eyes. "Regardless, I'll repeat myself. Unless you have some business here, I suggest you leave. You are distracting my student."

The woman looked at the man for several moments before sighing and taking out a pair of vials no bigger than medium sized test tubes containing a pitch black substance. "Fine. Just let me give this crap to the idiot and the insomniac." She lazily threw the glass containers forward, and somehow made each one go straight to Naruto and Gaara, who both managed to catch them at the last moment.

"What… is this?" The red head asked warily as he inspected the liquid and suppressed a shudder. Even though it was quite a small amount, the unnaturally heavy and oppressive feeling coming from it was more than enough to want to keep it at arm's length at the very least. "Even contained, being near this makes me… uneasy…"

"It's for helping you train to control your bijū. Don't open it yet. It's pretty nasty stuff, even by my clan's standards." Shadow replied carelessly. While no one really spoke about the separate boys' condition, everyone there was aware of their inner tenants. "Keep that shit on you, but don't open it until I explain everything later tonight at my place."

"Didn't you completely destroy your place, though?" Shikamaru raised his eyebrow curiously.

"…"

"…"

"You forgot, didn't you?" Sasuke deadpanned.

"No!" Shadow shot back defensively. "… Maybe…"

"Where have you been sleeping the past few nights?" Hinata asked worriedly, noting that the woman was somewhat tired looking despite the fact that her gaze was as sharp as ever.

"I haven't." The woman grumbled. "I've been too busy venting 'cause my brother's an ass."

Hiashi frowned. "Said venting wouldn't happen to have involved several traumatized Iwa shinobi that the locals found yesterday night unconscious and wounded in multiple areas, would it?"

The sadistic woman looked to the side innocently. "If that was proven to be true, which I am not saying it is, then by the time it actually was officially stated as such, Iwa would coincidentally be dealing with the widespread distribution of a video recording of said incident, which involved roughly five mutilated baby seal clones… and desperately trying to rebuild their image…" She paused as she noticed everyone stare at her accusingly. "What? The pricks started it."

"So where are we meeting again?" Gaara asked, pretending to not know of something that could potentially start a war.

"…Fuuuuuck." Shadow grunted as she scratched the back of her head. "Screw it. Go to the Sarutobi compound tonight. It's a good secondary meeting spot."

"Please don't tell me that we're going to do something that could blow up the old man's home." Naruto asked warily. "I don't think his heart can handle it… and I don't want to have to house Konohamaru while his family is looking for a new place to stay."

"You're a regular bleeding heart." Temari sarcastically told Naruto.

"I try." The fellow blonde replied with a shrug.

"I would have preferred the extra privacy, but no, you're not going to be dealing with any potential mass property damage… this time." Shadow muttered the last bit to the side quietly. "We just need a decent spot to meet up."

"If that is all, I would appreciate it if you left." Hiashi stated. "My clan is indebted to yours, but we do have an image to maintain."

"Yeah, yeah." The woman sighed as she slowly sunk into her silhouette. "Just don't forget about what I said, brats. Tonight at the Sarutobi compound, and don't open those vials. It's really nasty stuff." She rubbed the bridge of her nose tiredly. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to rebuild my home before Scab finds out and bills me to high holy hell…" Her silver blue eyes glanced at the teens there as she sunk into another world. "Enjoy your free time while it lasts, brats. You're going to be going under mega training when things pick up again… some sooner than others…"

" **Rejoice, human!"** Shukaku cheered as the woman finally disappeared. **"We have been before the Sky Mother when she was pissed, and we remain alive and unmaimed! I'm so happy, I feel like I just killed an entire town of humans!"**

"It's times like this that make me glad that I have a reasonable excuse to get out of the village from time to time." Shikamaru stated more to himself than anyone else.

"I'm glad my home village actually serves a purpose for you." Temari glanced at her younger friend with some ire.

"I highly doubt that you can do more bodily harm to me than that woman can." The Nara stated calmly as he laid back.

"Don't tempt me to try." The physically older of the two grunted.

"So we're going to be training again so soon?" Hinata worriedly looked at Sasuke. "Why do you think they need us to do so? We just got back from a bad mission…"

"They probably already identified all major attacks on the village for the next decade." Sasuke snorted. "The odds are bigger that they already figured out how to make them collapse on themselves."

"Probably only after they make things worse beforehand in order to make more things blow up." Shikamaru added before pausing. "… Crap, knowing them, they really might have that planned."

"Why do I hear evil laughing in the distance?" Naruto turned his head in a random direction.

" **Because obviously the fates enjoy torturing you and me as much as they do the Ōgakari."** Kurama muttered from inside his vessel.

"Despite the fact that it probably won't work, I think I will up the security here for the next few weeks…" Hiashi mumbled out loud before turning his attention to Naruto again. "Since we were both distracted, I'll let your lapse in stance go this time. Start your kata over from the beginning. I think this will help us all clear our minds for now…"

"Honestly…" Sasuke sighed. "Out of all the Ōgakari… I honestly get that woman the least. With Crypt, you can at least stick with him in gibberish and get along with him, but Shadow… I don't know… it's like she's different from the others in some way." He turned to Shikamaru. "Hey, Nara. You've spent a good amount of time around her. Care to tell us anything about her?"

"Hm?" Shikamaru blinked. "What about her?"

"You are the most likely out of our age group to have some kind of bond with her, Shikamaru-kun." Hinata pointed out. "Naruto-kun and I are close to Ghost-sensei, Tenten-san is close to Scabbard-sensei, my sister and her friends are close to Waltz-dono, as is Sakura-san. Crypt-san…" She hesitated. "… Well, we all have our own link to him, in a way… but out of everyone, you should be fairly close to Shadow-sensei by now."

"Hmm. You're right about that." Shikamaru mused as he laid back and looked at the sky. Everyone in his age group… or really, any sort of close shinobi team had a fairly close relationship to their teachers, especially if the teachers cared about their wellbeing. He himself was close to Asuma in a way that made the man his second father. Kurenai was like an aunt. Kakashi and Gai were uncles… his friends were either siblings or at the farthest, very close cousins…

He paused and frowned. Shadow Ōgakari though… there was no feeling of relationship with the woman, or it was something so weak that it was almost equitable to an extremely distant family member that he almost never saw.

Waltz… Ghost… even Crypt held a stronger sense of connection in his heart than the woman who had helped him out the most in terms of style and spent the most time training him…

"What… the hell?" He muttered as a frown as he tried to figure out why his sense of connection with the woman was so skewed. No matter how he approached his relationship with the woman, the connection always ended up at best distant and barely familiar unless he was seeing things from a strictly business point of view or something naturally distant like that, which was too far from the truth to consider reliable.

"Something bugging you?" Temari asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I don't know…" The genius answered honestly. "And I'm finding it more than troublesome…"

o. o. o.

In Kiri:

"Are you sure you do not know where they went?" Mei asked with a frown as she, Zabuza and Haku sat in her office.

"I'm telling you, I don't know." The masked man sighed. "One moment everything's fine as things can be with them, the next some weird thing from their pockets starts beeping, they take them out and it shows them some kind of message, and they both swear at the same time."

"Please keep in mind that one of them is perpetually insane, Mizukage-sama." Haku added. "For him to act rationally, something extremely serious must have been in that message."

"So after that, they start using that thing that they used before to talk to other members of their family in a language I don't know, tell us something important has happened, left everything to us and then used the crazy one's blood sealing techniques to go to somewhere I have no clue about." Zabuza concluded.

"You do realize that this will not look good for Konoha if people find out about this." Mei frowned.

"No shit." The assassin rolled his eyes. "It wasn't looking good when Haku and I showed our faces here with Konoha headbands either. Just make up some story about them getting an emergency message that required them to book it and things should be fine."

"If only it was that simple." Mei moaned. "What about the Sanbi? How are things going with that?"

"He's getting better. Now it's only a fifty-fifty chance that he'll either talk to me or roar like he normally does. Other than that, he's pretty much doing the same giant turtle crap in my body as he did with Yagura." The man closed his eyes. "I still can't talk to him about Yagura or what happened to them without the damn bastard kicking me out in a fit of rage, but things are slowly improving. My control is getting closer to what it used to be, and I'm getting more used to my reserves." He cracked his neck.

"Still, from what I've heard from other jinchūriki I got off lucky. My beast was already tamed from his previous host, so even though he's gone nuts again, the groundwork is still there for me to work off of. Almost all of the other guys with bijū in them don't have that in their favor. I've heard stories about what happens to the Ichibi's container, and let me tell you, it's not something that gives me warm fuzzy feelings at night. So long as I don't push things, I'm fairly certain I can get a good deal of his power under control in a year or two."

"That soon?" Mei blinked in surprise.

"We have certain resources that can help accelerate the process." Haku cryptically answered. "Unfortunately, we are not that certain ourselves as to what they entail, but we are confident in the end results."

"… Well, at least we have some good news there." The brunette sighed before looking at Haku. "How have you enjoyed your stay here? I know your earlier memories of this country are not fond ones, but I am hoping that our current environment is somewhat more appealing."

"Not that it's hard to do that…" Zabuza muttered to the side.

"I have had a mixed reception, Mizukage-sama." Haku answered truthfully. "People here know that I am devoted to Zabuza, which engenders a remarkably wide range of reactions, but others have indeed come to me and either apologized for the bloodline purges, or informed me about what my clan was like. I have even received some relics and scrolls from my clan that can help me in the future…"

"Yet you still wish to stay in Konoha." Mei concluded with a somewhat disappointed tone.

"It is my first real home." Haku explained. "I have friends there who do not care about what I have, who trained me, or where I am from. I feel… happy there." She smiled sincerely.

"I am not surprised." The woman sighed reluctantly. "Konoha is well known as the most pleasant of the hidden villages to live in." She looked at Haku warily. "You did not come into possession of anything that would have me send my ANBU after you in order to retrieve, have you? No kinjutsu scrolls or village secrets. No weapons worth several million ryō…"

Haku raised her hands in front of her in surrender. "No. Just clan jutsu and history scrolls, and some jewelry that belonged to my ancestors. I didn't see or read of any kinjutsu in the documents I got, and I never held any weapons or anything like that since coming here." Technically, she and Zabuza had accepted the scrolls, but they'd deliberately avoided opening them to check their contents so that if they were asked this exact question, their response would be completely truthful. Misleading, yes, but truthful.

"Just making sure." The woman glanced at the girl in an amused way before turning to Zabuza again. "So how are the next generation of the Seven Swordsmen coming?"

"I'm still beating the basics into them." The man shrugged. "Technically, it's the basics that save you more often than anything else, but it's still slow going."

"That's because you consider learning how to deal with getting beaten to an inch of your life as the basics." Haku pointed out.

"I don't see you complaining. You're the one that does most of the maiming." The elder skeptically countered the girl.

"I'm not complaining, I'm just stating facts." The girl shrugged, not at all concerned with the fact that she was the one doing the most physical harm to their temporary students.

Mei laughed nervously with a sweatdrop going down her head. "Well, if there was any doubt that you two didn't act like family…"

o. o. o.

Back in Konoha:

"You do realize that if people found out about this meeting, we would all be in huge trouble, right?" Rōshi asked skeptically as he, Fū, Naruto, Gaara, Shadow and Hiruzen all sat in the Sarutobi clan's private study.

"I'm fairly confident that none of you are dumb enough to talk about it." Shadow yawned tiredly.

"I'm all for this meeting… so long as you do not destroy my home or any of my property." The retired Hokage stated simply and professionally, despite the nature of what he just said.

"You're just jinxing it by saying that, you know." Naruto deadpanned, causing Fū to snort.

"Why did you call us to here?" Gaara got to the point as he took out the vial of black liquid that the woman had given him earlier. "And what have you given us?"

"Straight to the point?" Shadow pouted with Zuzushi on her shoulder. "No snacks, drinks or board games for our little slumber party?"

"It's hard for us to relax when you're still pumping out enough subtle killing intent to have our bijū behave themselves without us asking." Rōshi grunted as he eyed the most dangerous individual in the room.

"Pussies." The Ōgakari grunted, getting a squeak of agreement from her own tenant. "You won't even show any backbone…"

"Considering the fact that you began this meeting by making us observe the true size of your tenant, of whom I might add is so large that our sense of scale is forever shattered, I'm fairly certain we have an excuse to be wary of your wrath." Gaara pointed out in a matter of fact tone.

"If anything, calling her the Sky Mother is understating her size." Fū snorted.

"Yeah, yeah." Shadow sighed as she sagged in her chair. "I get it. You can quit your bitching already. I'm in a truly bad mood, but as a rule, I don't go _really_ nuts on anyone that doesn't bug me or can't handle the pain when I'm like this."

"What about those Iwa shinobi that I heard were traumatized several days ago?" Hiruzen asked skeptically.

"Not ag… for the last time! I will deny everything, and if they do manage to pin it on me, I have enough humiliating recordings of the incident ready for distribution that Iwa will never press charges against me or let knowledge of what happened see the light of day ever again!" The woman yelled to the ceiling in frustration.

"Should I even ask why half of them were muttering something about keeping them away from the baby seals?" Rōshi asked warily.

"No." Gaara, Naruto, and Hiruzen replied at once.

"No balls. The lot of you don't have a single ball between any of your legs." The immortal woman grunted to the side.

"Can we get back to why we are here again?" Fū asked impatiently as she held out her own vial. "Start off with this crap, and explain why it makes me feel like I'm holding an exploding poison."

"Fine." Shadow rolled her eyes. "That shit in your hand is a liquefied curse, and a damn powerful one at that. It's named after an old legend that means 'All the Evils of the World'. Basically, what it's for is to train you to resist your inner beast's will when you finally need to rely on more of their chakra, or when you finally go for the gold and try to take all of it."

"All the evils in the world?" Naruto muttered nervously as he stared at the liquid in his hand. "Why do I have a feeling that its name isn't stretching the truth?"

"Because it isn't." Shadow deadpanned. "I once jumped into a tub of that shit in a dare once, and let me tell you, it is potent as hell. It doesn't affect me much, but that's because I'm mentally strong enough to resist something as small as all the evils in the world. Now, if it was all the evils in a galaxy or all the evils in a universe, then I might be in some trouble, but all the evils in the world? Hell, I can gargle that shit for a year without anything happening. It tastes like crap, but that's a different story altogether."

"Are you telling us to drink this stuff?" Rōshi looked at his vial skeptically. "I don't know if I've told you yet, but I have some minor health conditions that restrict my diet, and I honestly have no idea if this would set it off or not."

"Drink… fuck that. If any of you guys drank that shit, then you'd either be dead or nuts in under a minute." Shadow snorted. "You four are going for the noobie course. Rub a single drop on your forehead and deal with the terrible, horrifying, and disturbing shit going through your head. In order to deal with your bijū's taints, I'm estimating that you'd need to go through at least two or three drops at once without much trouble in order to manage your end goal." She looked at Naruto. "Well… I'd go with four or five with you just to be safe. Kyūbi has a lot of absorbed taint in him compared to the other bijū I've seen."

"Hmmm." The old Hokage mused as he examined the vials in their hands. "I have never heard of a curse in corporal form without imposing itself on something else before…" He looked at the woman. "What should they expect to experience when they expose themselves to this liquid?"

The eldest one there yawned. "All the evils in the world. Duh." She paused. "Or to be more exact, the imposition of the essence of all possible and comprehensible conceptually evil actions onto the psyche of the one it's being applied to. Decapitation. Death. Slavery. Torturing by ripping off an old woman's nails before forcing her to watch her daughter's eyes being ripped out of her skull and listening to her screaming before having said eyeballs being forced down her throat, then being forced in turn to watch as said daughter gets fucked in all holes plus her eye holes by her husband…" She ticked off the actions on her fingers as if counting the days. "You know… that sort of sick shit."

Fū's face matched the color of her hair. "Ugh. Seriously? How the hell can anyone…"

"Because it has happened. Because it will eventually happen at somewhere, at some time, and there's not a damned thing you will be able to do to stop it." Shadow stared at all of them sternly. "Just like a possible utopia where everything is all puppies and fucking rainbows can exist, if even temporarily and in parts all over the planet, so can the absolute hell that consists of horrible actions and concepts that you convinced yourselves can never happen, but by all means can in the physical world if somebody got off his ass one day, snapped, and decided to do it. Social norms and regulations have nothing to do with the fact that things of that nature can happen, and the sooner you not only realize that they exist, but can actually accept that they do and manage to not be surprised about it, the sooner you can overcome the mental strain and corruption that comes with trying to obtain your bijū's power."

The Third Hokage's face frowned. "That seems a bit extreme, don't you think? Aren't there less… extreme ways to prepare them for controlling their beasts?"

Shadow rolled her eyes. "Yeah, but the end results are nowhere near as effective as what I'm doing now. When you guys meet up with the Hachibi's host, which we'll talk about in a bit, he'll test you first by having you confront the 'darkness' in your heart." She made air quotes. "It's just a stupid way of trying to get you to get rid of any of the doubt, uncertainty, and held back emotions in your subconscious, which is some of the shit that most bijū use to get leverage when they're trying to manipulate you from the inside."

"Why would that not be enough?" Naruto asked curiously. "I mean, from what you told me, Bee used that method and he got full control over his beast and everything."

"Because it's an imperfect approach and Bee, for all intents and purposes, got lucky when he did it." The draconic woman answered without hesitation.

"Imperfect?" Fū raised an eyebrow. "How? If the first step is to get rid of the stuff in your subconscious that gives the beasts their advantage in the first place, then how would they get around that when push comes to shove?"

"… I see…" Rōshi grunted darkly as he looked at Shadow warily. "They can still create more doubts and insecurities when you're trying to take out the chakra, especially if their will gets into you when you're doing it and you get exposed to the taint in them…"

Shadow nodded. "Got it in one. Just because you go into the fight with no insecurities doesn't mean you can't get more during it. All it really does is increase your odds of pulling it off a bit when you fight. What we're doing here is ensuring that you have all your bases covered when you finally decide to deal with your bijū."

"A very wise thing to consider. You have my thanks. I highly doubt we would have been as prepared as we will be without your aid." Gaara bowed.

Shadow smirked. "Don't thank me. That stuff in your hand is pretty much liquefied hell. Believe me when I say you will wish horrible things on me after you go through using that stuff for the first time." She crossed her arms and shrugged. "And even after that, you still have to make sure that you are actually strong enough to fight your beast and take their chakra in the first place in order to put your training to the test… that is, unless your beast has conveniently decided to help you out before then at least…"

"Shukaku is still very much against helping me with anything. He is very prideful." Gaara stated calmly.

"Goku is… being difficult… however, I have a feeling that if I put up enough of a fight, I may be able to get his respect enough to get him to throw me a bone." Rōshi shrugged before drinking some sake.

"Chōmei says that he'll talk to me about working with his chakra when I'm done with this stuff." Fū mused as she looked at the liquid in her hands.

Naruto remained quiet for several moments before sighing. "Kurama's being an ass again. We're on neutral terms for the most part, but the idea of me taking any of his power without his permission gets him pissed fast." He shrugged. "I guess it's the hard way for me."

"Good enough." Shadow nodded. "To be honest, I was somewhat expecting all your bijū to flat out say no. To have two of them say maybe is good news."

"Before we move on, though, can you give us advice on how we're supposed to deal with this crap?" Naruto asked skeptically as he pocketed his liquid curse.

"That sounds like a good thing to ask." Hiruzen nodded. "How would a person manage to withstand 'All the Evils in the World?"'

The immortal closed her eyes and frowned. "There are four main ways to do it, though two are the ones that I highly suggest you don't do, so I'll get them out of the way first." She began to stretch and crack her back. "Those two ways are to either embrace the curse and thrive on said horrible concepts and deeds, or to do the exact opposite and become so numb to any concept of evil that you cannot even comprehend such things in the first place."

Rōshi grunted as he drank some more. "Hmm… I can see why you advise against those two routes. Neither one of them would lead to a happy ending for anyone other than the insane."

"I get why the first is bad, but why the second?" Fū pondered.

"To become unable to recognize any wrong doing is detrimental." Gaara stated. "It would be the same as a person watching a man kill an entire family and not being able to tell that it was wrong or determine that they should do something to stop it. You may be able to get power in the process of becoming like that, but it would be impossible to predict when you'd use it other than maybe for self-defense. You cannot be a reliable individual for anyone with that sort of mentality."

"In short, you'd be an optimistic moron that would think that absolutely everyone in the world is naturally good and incapable of doing anything wrong." Rōshi concluded while shaking his head, probably remembering people in his past who were like that. "Fucking idiots."

"What about the other two methods?" Naruto asked Shadow while clearly trying not to remember that he was very close to that description at one point in his life.

"The other two ways you can deal with a conceptual psychological attack of this nature is either by sheer will power or by acceptance." The immortal yawned. "For acceptance… well, that's pretty much self-explanatory. You know these things exist, and since you accept that they do to the core of your being, you won't be affected by such things and will be able to keep your head clear naturally without almost any effort. This is admittedly the harder thing to do, as there is a chance that you might accidentally end up being enveloped by the curse and lose your sense of self in the process, but all in all, it is by far the most efficient and effective. Using will power… well, that's pretty much self-explanatory, but not really that much easier than acceptance when it comes to this stuff."

"That does sound very logical." Hiruzen nodded. "Which of the two methods do you employ?"

"Both." Shadow shrugged. "I rely on acceptance for the most part because it makes things easier for me in the long run for my travels. It makes dealing with new cultures easier to do because I'm much less likely to piss off the general populace by running my mouth. On the other hand, there are occasions that I do reach my limits when certain lines are crossed, which is when I employ the former. It helps distinguish and enforce my personality while at the same time ensuring that I am not loading myself with any unnecessary mental burdens."

The woman flipped her hair. "For you little noobies, I suggest you do the same, only rely on your will a bit more just in case. Try to calm yourself down completely until you feel like you are in a Zen state… or really drunk, or you just woke up and you still can't really comprehend the world yet. No matter what goes through your head, just recognize what it is and then move on. Another way of thinking about it is simply seeing it as a somewhat different occurrence, like noticing that the sky is pink during the evenings on occasion. It's different and noticeable, but in the end, it's pretty much meaningless. If it's something big that you can't ignore, withstand it or shove it aside, but don't dwell on it, or you'll just leave yourself open for other things to get inside your mental defenses."

"That makes sense, but I'm guessing that it's harder than it looks." Fū frowned.

"No, really?" The immortal gasped sarcastically.

"Should we be concerned that our beasts or our bodies may be contaminated by this liquid?" Gaara asked concerned.

"Nah. This stuff is more like the 'actions' of evil, not the 'attempt to turn you into pure evil' kind of evil." Shadow waved her hand lazily. "Instead of becoming an ass, you'd only have to be worried about going completely insane by the revelation and exposure."

"Well, that will certainly help me sleep at night." Rōshi rolled his eyes. "How long will this shit last?"

"It's like a potent but short lasting drug. The effects are strong as fuck, but the headache will last a really long time. My advice is to not try to drink yourself under to dull the pain. Trust me, it doesn't work as well as you would hope."

"If you don't mind, Shadow, I would like to move onto other topics before we test out that concoction of yours." Hiruzen spoke up, getting everyone's attention. "Now, due to our current circumstances and our agreement with the Raikage, we will only be able to bring four shinobi to the bijū training ground at a time for three month periods, and even then, we will only be able to do this at most three times every two years without drawing any attention to ourselves. Because of this, I believe it would be wise to start off with Rōshi and Gaara teaming up on a diplomatic mission with Jiraiya and Naruto in order to attempt to show to the public that we are trying to mend the bonds between our countries. Rōshi in particular must be on this trip due to the fact that if our current international situation deteriorates, then he will probably never have another chance to access the island under safe conditions, which would in turn raise the Raikage's ire."

"Hold on." Naruto raised his hand. "Just me and Ero-sennin? Where's Ero-nii?"

"Unfortunately, the majority of my family had to leave this universe due to an emergency situation that even we could not ignore. That little bit of energy that managed to escape from our training grounds was from a… disagreement between Ghost and myself. I wanted to go. He refused to let me." She channeled some energy into the metaphysical chain that was attached to her body, making it visible for everyone to see. "That bastard had to make sure that I wouldn't follow him, so he pretty much grounded me in this universe. My guess is that he and the others won't be back for another half a year."

"Am I the only one that's having trouble telling if that's a good or bad thing?" Naruto asked out loud curiously, getting every other non-immortal there to shake their head in response.

She paused before putting on a thoughtful look. "Well… technically, I could always just destroy this universe to free myself and then restore it back to normal… but I got into a fair amount of trouble with a lot of people for doing that the last time I did that… at least I think that's what happened last time… was that last time?"

"Shadow-nee, can you please not contemplate destroying my home universe… or at least can you not do it when I'm in hearing distance of you?" The blonde boy wept comically.

"Moving on." Hiruzen coughed. "The point is that Naruto, Rōshi, and Gaara will be training to master their bijū on the island within the next few weeks. Fū, you will remain here, as your village is becoming uncomfortable with Akatsuki's rising threat level. That does not mean that you will be sitting around doing nothing, as I have already talked to Tsunade about several training exercises and regimens that you will be put through during your stay here to improve your combat potential." He turned to all of the jinchūriki there. "Please keep in mind that all of your currently planned bijū training will not necessarily mean that you will be able to fully control it. However, it should at the very least significantly improve your ability to handle their power without losing control of yourselves."

"Yeah." The four jinchūriki in the room nodded at once, understanding the logic and implications behind what the old man was saying.

"I don't need to explain to any of you that our current timeline is different from the one that you all remember. To be honest, I have even less to go by than you do, as I had already died by now in the previous line." Hiruzen continued. "I am afraid that should tensions rise between Konoha and Iwa, Akatsuki's ability to move around without detection will increase significantly. As such, I want you all to be as careful as possible when travelling without significant backup." He puffed out some smoke. "If I may be perfectly honest, I do not expect more than half of you to survive the upcoming battles when everything has finally resolved, but that does not mean I will not try my hardest to make sure that as many of you live as possible."

"Heh." Rōshi snorted. "Considering the fact that I've seen you at your worst, I'm feeling pretty good about our odds right now."

"Even without the training you guys have been giving me, I feel good just to have backup." Fū smirked.

"I will not allow myself to be captured again, and I will not allow any of you to either." Gaara frowned.

"I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they realize that we've been preparing for this for years." Naruto grinned in a feral way.

"They'd probably just get pissed off, then double team you." Shadow yawned. "I doubt that any one of you guys other than the blonde boy wonder or the rapping wannabe can handle two of their members at once."

"Way to kill the mood." Fū grumbled, her rush of excitement and confidence leaving her fairly rapidly.

"Just telling you guys the truth. You can't blame me for that." The immortal shrugged.

"We know that, but do you have to be so crude about it?" Hiruzen asked tiredly.

"No, but considering the fact that I'm helping you simply because I want to, you really don't have a choice in the matter." Shadow grinned childishly. "In fact, you're way better off like this compared to if a normal god tried to help you."

"A normal god?" Gaara asked warily. "How so?"

"Oh, those pussies never like getting their hands dirty. Whenever they DO bother to pay attention to their realms in the multiverse and they realize that they have to do something in order to maintain balance in areas under their control, they just do the standard 'tweak one moment in history and let everything else go their course' thing. Granted, they're good at it, but the people they manipulate most of the time have no fucking clue that they're being played in the first place… and it's just BORING." The container of the Sky Mother inspected her nails casually.

"The Family and I prefer our way. Jumping in yourself is a bit crude and inefficient at times, but it's more fun to be at least somewhat part of the action instead of just watching everything from a distance. Plus, we at least have the balls to say to people, 'Yeah, we did that. The fuck are you going to do about it?'"

"Other than your clear disrespect for all things natural and living, what do you mean by gods managing their section of the multiverse?" Hiruzen raised an eyebrow.

The woman yawned. "Eh. It's pretty simple. The entire multiverse is huge as hell. No single god can manipulate its entire contents, or to put it bluntly, there is no such thing as a god of everything. Instead, your version of a 'god' is really just one that manipulates either your own universe, or the one that manages the other gods that do that job. It varies from plane to plane. Even then, they normally don't really do their job correctly and go off to do whatever the hell they want. To them, observing mankind and the natural life in their area is almost akin to watching a giant ant farm." She held up her hand in front of her eyes and made a pinching motion. "Everyone is tiny and they can't comprehend your vastly less developed thought processes, yet they can watch pretty much everything at once since you are moving in less directions than they can. The only difference is that the owners can shrink down to the ant's size and join in without them noticing."

"Glad to know that we amount to something in their eyes." Rōshi snorted. "At least they don't really give a damn about us and don't kill the farm."

"Well, there are multiple kinds of gods, and some of them govern over different things and elements and rules, but yeah, for the most part they don't give a shit about anything normal existences do unless it could possibly disturb the transdimensional balance of things." Shadow nodded. "Don't get me wrong, though; there are humans and other creatures that are capable of killing, overpowering, and controlling them, but for the most part, gods do run the show behind the scenes... or they just do nothing, let things go the course, and not give a shit. You'd be surprised how often it's the second case."

"What about our world's gods?" Gaara asked warily. "Given the fact that you are supposedly one of the most notable individuals in the multiverse, surely you must have been in contact with them since you arrived here."

"From what I've seen so far… this world has one main governing god that lets the local spirits, minor gods and demons handle most of the grunt work… and it hasn't paid any attention to this universe in probably a few hundred years at the least. Oh, sure, you have a Shinigami and other basic local gods, but as minor existences, they have little influence over anything outside of the areas they govern unless given permission in some way." The immortal woman mused. "It's not that surprising, to be honest. Your god is related to a pretty huge string of parallel ones, so there's bound to be a fair number of planes here that get skipped…" She paused. "Though if they do look here again and notice what Ghost did… they might get curious as to what happened…"

"You mean that time traveling thing?" Fū asked.

"He told me it was more like he burned away what happened, and what we remember is simply us seeing the ashes of what was left behind." Naruto shrugged.

"Yeah… to put it in another way, Ghost burned away the events of the previous timeline, and to be blunt, he's the only being, god or mortal, that can do such a thing. Nobody here can tell that he did it because normal humans can't naturally perceive things past the standard fifth dimension, or time A to time B. The chain links help you see a bit into the sixth, which is where your old memories come from." Shadow explained.

"But gods, and special existences like myself, can naturally perceive things up to the sixth to eighth dimensions depending on how powerful they are. The dimensions in order are: the lower multiverses, or multiple versions of the same universes but with altered events at various points in time, the lower middle ranged multiverses, which have your world's multiverse alongside other world's multiverses. Last on that list is the middle ranged multiverses, which is like the previous version but the multiverses change at the same rate according to a larger, more absolute version of time."

Shadow cracked her neck. "The ninth dimension has the grand scale multiverses, but at that level, the rules of gods and their fundamentals vary between each realm, so we don't really explore that realm much. Zuzushi is responsible for creating our current mid-level multiverse, or up to our eighth dimension, which is where most gods tend to live, stay, manage, and fuck around. That being said, she is without a doubt among the highest on the food chain there."

The woman paused as she noticed all of the blank looks she was getting. "… Okay, where did I lose you?"

"The sixth dimension." The jinchūriki there all said at the same time.

"The eighth." Hiruzen sighed.

Shadow deadpanned. "Fuck it. I'll make it easy. Gods are assholes. They don't give a shit about humans most of the time. Zuzushi and I are the stuff awesome is made from. End story."

"I liked the part with the gods." Naruto smiled sarcastically... before he was grabbed by Shadow by the head and instantly sprouted his fox parts. "Why do I feel like I'm about to be in large amounts of pain?"

"Because this is payment for explaining to you the secrets of the multiverse." Shadow replied before tying him up with her element and then bear hugging his tail. "I take my payment in fuzzies. Prepare to be violated."

Crunch.

Hiruzen coughed while trying to ignore the blonde's begging gazes for help, as he was gagged and could not make any requests for aid. "Getting back on topic, are there any other questions that don't relate to Naruto's current situation before we continue with our future plans. None? Okay then. Now, in a few days, Jiraiya will be returning to the village, and when he does…"

o. o. o.

Elsewhere in Konoha:

Kurotsuchi sighed as she sat on the rooftop of the building she and several other Iwa shinobi were staying in for the duration of their stay in Konoha. "I'm surprised." She mused out loud as she drank some booze. "I thought you would have done something by now."

From the shadows nearby, seemingly unrecognized even by nature until that point, a seemingly average looking man chuckled and walked into the moonlight. "You wound me. Even I know when to stay my hand." He stopped next to the woman and looked at the village in front of him. "Konoha really is a good looking place, isn't it?"

"You almost sound like you're glad you didn't find an opportunity to do something." The granddaughter of the Tsuchikage snorted. "Don't tell me you have something against gunning for kids."

"If I did, I would be a stain for those in my line of work." The man shrugged. "I'm merely… curious. That's all."

"Curious?" Kurotsuchi raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you supposed to be trained to not let that get the better of you?"

"Normally yes, but considering who the boy is, can you blame me?" The merchant replied shamelessly. "Namikaze's son. A jinchūriki. A summoner. An elemental prodigy. Absurd levels of chakra. The boy has so much potential that even I am left wondering how he will turn out when he finally grows up. The only thing that could possibly make him even more dangerous would be if he had a… well, pretty much ANY bloodline at this point, to be honest..."

"Wouldn't that normally prompt you to kill them off early so they DON'T reach that level?" The teen pointed out objectively.

"Yes… however, I can eventually use this as well." The man nodded. "Konoha is getting quite strong lately… so very strong. It is quite concerning, wouldn't you think?"

The girl snorted. "Maybe. Depends who you ask. Personally, I just think that they got a good batch of brats and a solid set of mercenaries. The village itself hasn't changed much, if you think about it. They still worship a log of all things. They do that will of fire crap. And they give out good missions to their allies to make themselves look good." She yawned. "To be honest, as far as obnoxiously honorable shinobi go, these guys have a pretty good setup going for them with all the allies they have."

"Now that's interesting." The merchant grinned. "It almost sounds like you lost your desire to put this village in its place."

"I'm just stating facts, asshole. Nothing more." The teen shot back. "Unless you've forgotten, the ally thing is part of the reason why Konoha's been on the top of the power chain for a while. Maybe if we didn't screw over our own temporary allies as much as we do, we'd be in a better position right now. Iwa does have a habit of pissing off everyone we team up with at some point, after all."

"That's because truces are merely in place so long as both sides agree to it." The man argued simply. "In our world, they never do last long, and as such, we merely make sure that we are not on the receiving end when such things finally do break. That is part of the reason why we have yet to collapse like Kiri and Suna have. We rely only on ourselves, and do not leave openings for betrayal."

"Deidara-nii." The granddaughter of Ōnoki argued bluntly, bringing up the name of one of the strongest missing-nin from Iwa alive… hence, a betrayer.

"We can't be right all the time." The man argued casually. "Besides, he's a special case. While Deidara did steal a kinjutsu from us and run away, he has yet to use it against us and merely goes about doing whatever he wants." He grinned. "In fact, I've heard that he's joined a mercenary organization lately that happens to be frequently employed by us… so in the end, he technically has yet to leave our command."

Kurotsuchi snorted. "I doubt it. That guy never did like taking orders from anyone… plus, I honestly doubt there's a guy who would be crazy enough to try and hire a bombing addict like him and keep a stable operation running."

The merchant laughed heartily. "Hahaha. Yes, you do have a point there, but regardless, that's what my sources tell me."

"Good for them." She grunted before going quiet once more.

The two looked at the village for a bit longer before the man spoke up again. "It wasn't me or my allies who tried to attack the wounded brats."

"Could have fooled me." The female mused for a moment before pausing. "Wait… then that means…"

"Someone either really wanted those brats dead, or they want to make us look worse than we already do." The merchant finished her thoughts. "Regardless, all that happened in the end was that it made Konoha more wary of us, which technically they should have been in the first place, but still…"

"It's not like we can look much worse than we already do save for actually killing someone of theirs while we're here." Kurotsuchi shrugged. "Han got taken out by Konoha's jinchūriki, who is less than half his age. A bunch of our most dangerous criminals got taken down by some kids. We lost said criminals in the first place for over half a year from right under our own noses." She sighed. "Yep. Iwa's rep will be in the shitter for a while."

"And if we try to place the blame on Konoha, we'll look even worse." The man nodded. "I target individuals, I don't start wars..."

"You sure come close to it though." The woman grumbled, knowing about several of the man's exploits that nearly started some very nasty battles.

"And yet I haven't, and I learn from all of my experiences." He grinned. "Namikaze will indeed go down in time, but it will be in a rather memorable way… after all…"

"Stop right there." Kurotsuchi interrupted as she got up. "I told you. I'm done with your group. Whatever you have planned or how you plan to do it, have fun, but leave me out of it."

The merchant sighed and shook his head. "Such a killjoy. I guess that finding out that you have family in high places does do things to you after all…"

"It does." The teen grunted as she walked back inside, no longer managing to tolerate the man's company. "It makes my life suck less."

o. o. o.

"Stupid old man taking me away from the stupid fuzzies because I was waking up the stupid household and made the stupid brat go unconscious 'cause of the stupid pain." Shadow grumbled irritably as she walked in the darkness towards her clan compound so she could finish fixing up the place and get some sleep. It was fairly obvious to say that she had been seething and pissed the past few days, but after violating Naruto in all the wrong ways, she had managed to cool down enough that if someone bugged her now, she wouldn't horrifically maim them in an instant…

… or at the very least, she wouldn't break out the baby seals again.

She was so into her verbal ranting that she almost missed the fact that Kakashi was casually walking down the same road as she was in the opposite direction. "Not to be rude, but you look like you're ready to blow up a mountain just because it's in your way." Kakashi deadpanned as he crossed her path.

"Do I look like The Blue to you?" The woman growled dangerously.

"The what?" The cyclops blinked in confusion.

The Ōgakari's eyebrow twitched. "A woman who did just that. We have a very strong love-hate relationship."

Kakashi laughed nervously, clearly picturing Shadow and this mysterious person arguing over something trivial and destroying the surrounding continent in the process. "Please let me know if she's ever around so that I can escape with my life."

"I'll consider it." Shadow snorted as she turned back to the Sarutobi compound's direction. "Don't spend too long staring at that dumb rock, Kakashi. You might catch something for once."

The man smiled. "Oh, don't worry. I filled my quota for the day. I'm just going back home now. To be honest, I think more people are worried about you right now. You do have a habit of acting out when you're excited."

"I'm a big girl, Hatake. I can handle myself. Remember, my family and I are in this place because we think you guys are the ones that need help." The woman waved her hand lazily without turning around as she began to move… before stopping.

Kakashi himself paused too as he noticed a shift in the air around the woman. "Is something wrong?" He asked warily while expanding his senses to see if he missed anything.

Shadow didn't turn around as she seemed to hesitate, as if trying to find the right words to say. "A word of advice before I go."

The man looked at her warily. There was a sudden familiar weight in her voice that caught his attention. It was something that he instinctively knew didn't belong to a god, a deity killing juggernaut, or anyone with power. On the contrary, the weight in that tone belonged only to those that have experienced extreme loss and had yet to truly move past such burdens. "Oh? And what kind of advice would that be?"

"Start over, Kakashi."

The jōnin paused before looking at the immortal confused. "Come again?"

"Your team is dead. Your family is dead. You've proven yourself to be a fuckup as a teacher…" She listed off the man's less than redeeming traits and past events. "You're constantly late, you let your past haunt you and hold you back… and you are addicted to reading porn in public… but you are still alive. You are still young and able to do something about your future. Despite the fact that your past for the most part sucks, you are still very much able to start your personal life over again."

Kakashi's eyebrow raised considerably in surprise. Out of all the Ōgakari, save for Crypt, he would have expected to get a life lesson from Shadow the least. The scary thing was that he had a feeling that in her own way, the woman was revealing her deepest pains to him…

"Marry, adopt, get adopted. I don't give a shit how you do it, but actually start forming family bonds again." She began to walk away and disappeared into the darkness.

"Believe it or not… some people don't have the luxury to do that anymore… so don't piss them off by throwing it away."

o. o. o.

Kiba's house:

"I still don't understand why we are doing this here." Shino frowned as he, Kiba and Hinata sat in front of Kiba's home television and watched the recordings of the fight that Ghost and Shadow took. "It would be best if we did this somewhere more private where we would have less of a chance of getting caught and thus questioned."

"We're doing this 'cause we haven't had any good old Team Eight time in a while, and this is a good way of catching up." Kiba growled as he pressed the play button. "Besides, worse comes to worse, sis will probably be able to see the video and not static and cover for us. Now stop complaining and watch us fight for our lives. If the recording is good enough for us to learn from, we might just let those bastards off the hook for not helping us out."

"You didn't have to put it like that…" Hinata muttered to the side.

The three (plus Akamaru) remained quiet as they watched the opening (and completely unnecessary) credits before Shadow and Ghost appeared on the screen.

"Okay numbnuts, we'll make this quick, 'cause odds are you are all still really pissed at us." Ghost started off the bat, causing the teens to sweatdrop. "At the end of the video, the Midget and I added some quick commentaries and reviews on what you all did right and what you fucked up on, in addition to advice and other shit. Take it. Leave it. We don't care. It's there."

"This video should not be watched by children without proper adult supervision. Enjoy watching yourselves nearly die!" Shadow grinned and waved before the video changed to show a top view of the original team traveling and the fake team made of clones ahead of them.

Team Eight watched, noting that the camera focused on the clone of Akamaru disappearing while everyone was distracted, how Naruto managed to make the right call by putting everyone away, how a single one of Naruto's clones held off and fooled the enemy while the blonde set up one of his strongest techniques...

"We have much to work on if we want to work alongside Naruto in battle." Shino stated gravely as he watched the three twisters decimate the enemy forces. "I must admit… I am rather uneasy about how far he has progressed in such a short amount of time…" The other two nodded silently as they continued to view the chaos happening and all the bodies being torn apart.

Soon afterwards, they saw Lee's, Kin's, Neji's, and Sai's fights with great interest, taking note of how strong and dangerous their foes were as well… when the door opened and Hana walked in.

"Hey mutt, mom said to turn down the static and…" She paused and looked at the screen as Kiba and Hinata's counterpart faced off against Sinō. "What the…" She blinked.

"Ghost-sensei secretly watched and recorded the entire incident." Hinata answered without looking away. "We're seeing how we can improve ourselves and what we could have done differently." She winced as she watched herself get assaulted by the mole summon.

"They altered the video so that only we, and apparently you as well are able to watch it." Shino explained. "They did so in order to prevent others from gaining information on us." He paused as he saw Kiba manage to pull a fast one on Sinō. "You pull off playing dead fairly well."

"You're lucky I need you to get rid of Akamaru's fleas, Shino." Kiba grunted before smirking. "Eh, whatever. At least you can see how awesome I can be now." He stopped at Hana smacked him upside the head. "Ow! What the hell?"

"I was wondering why your and Akamaru's ribs and stomach muscles were in such shitty shape when you got here, and now I see why." The elder dog user grunted. "Mom and I warned you that using the wolf techniques while your ribs were broken could lead to you tearing up your insides to the point that you would bleed to death from the inside. Given who your opponent was, I'll let you off with that and not tell mom, but if you do it again, wounded or not, I will kick your ass for being an idiot." She crossed her arms and watched the video alongside the teens. "But for the moment, the main beatings are saved for Shadow when she calms down and Ghost when he shows up again." She paused as she continued to watch the fight and saw Hinata not only push back Sinō's attack, but get the drop on him as well. "Though… I have to admit… this video is pretty interesting to have."

"I would have preferred it if we had the extra help." Hinata darkly muttered as the video showed Han savagely beating up her friends before she showed up, showing Neji getting his eye getting gouged out in full detail. Next to her, Shino and Kiba reacted appropriately as well, either by turning green or grunting in barely withheld anger.

"That freak's too wild to let live." Hana growled, her triplets nodding in silent agreement, as they watched the man casually torture the teens while they tried to put up a resistance. "Granted, it's probably why you are all still alive, but given what happened…"

"It happened, Hana-sensei." Shino stiffly replied. "The best we can do now is learn from our mistakes and try to ensure it doesn't happen again."

"Don't beat yourself up about this, Shino." Kiba muttered as he watched his counterpart get kicked hard, a particular event that he recalled quite vividly given how much pain it gave him. "You weren't there. There's nothing you could have done."

"Then I will simply make sure that I am with you more often then." The insect user stated bluntly as Hinata showed up and tried her best to help her friends. "Why did Naruto not show up at this point?"

"That massive ninjutsu he did earlier took a lot out of him." Hinata answered. "He held himself back so that he could recover as much as possible in case he was needed again. Han showed up and attacked so quickly that there was little time to inform him of what was happening…" She winced as she watched herself get hit fairly hard by Han in an attempt to get Ino out of the way of getting stepped on.

"You'd think that being Ghost's apprentice would make him a bit faster when it came to things like this." Kiba muttered skeptically.

"No. When it comes down to it, a good number of the guys your age are naturally faster than he is." Hana corrected his sister. "Naruto's training focuses on his adaptability more than anything else. He is fast, but from what I've seen, you're faster, Kiba. It just so happens that he can control himself more efficiently than you can, which makes it look like it's the opposite."

"Seriously?" The younger Inuzuka blinked. "Well, if that's the case, I know what Akamaru and I'll going to work on next when I recover." His puppy barked in agreement from his lap.

"I take it this is where Uzumaki appears." Shino commented, seeing as the screen was looking grainy suddenly and everyone shown was reacting to it.

Hana whistled as Naruto appeared on the screen. "Wow. I've never seen him look that pissed before." She paused. "I wonder how he managed to get you guys away from the guy without…" Her question was answered as she saw the clones replace themselves with everyone while the airborne clone assaulted Han from above. "Ah…"

"Holy…" Kiba blinked. "Since when could he do THAT?"

"Replacement… but I've never seen it done to that level before…" Shino muttered in surprise.

The group of four (plus four dogs) remained quiet as they watched Naruto and Han duke it out in silence, surprise, humility, embarrassment (when Naruto set off the kunai in Han's rear), and finally fear, as the bijū cloaks were finally taken out.

"So that is what it looks like when they use their chakra to higher levels…" Hana muttered darkly.

"You were aware of this, Sensei?" Shino asked as he watched Naruto fight against the two tailed state Han.

"Somewhat. I knew that jinchūriki could cover themselves in their bijū's power, but I've never seen it before." The eldest one there muttered. "Supposedly, when they are like this, they are nearly unstoppable. It's part of the reason why they are so highly valued during wartime…" She frowned as she saw Han enter his third tail state. "But for the brat to hold the guy off for this long without using his own beast…"

"Judging from his expression, I can assume that he is attempting to hold back using the Kyūbi for as long as possible." Shino mused. "I also assume that, given how well he has been doing, this is the kind of fight he had been preparing to encounter for a long time…" He paused when the blonde boy threw down several smoke bombs and a loud shrieking noise was made.

"Huh…" Kiba frowned. "Where have I heard that before?"

He was answered as the image of a Rasenshuriken bolted out from the smoke and barreled towards the nearly insane man. The four watchers gaped as they recognized the construct made of pure chakra as it missed its target, followed by the one hidden in its shadow missing as well… before the first one transformed into a clone and GRABBED the second one in midair without Han noticing and launched it again at his backside in one swift motion while the man was too busy getting stuck in Naruto's earth technique.

The explosion and the noise coming from it was massive, dwarfing anything the video had shown before save for the three twisters that had made the battleground in the first place.

"Holy… since when the hell could he do THAT?" Kiba blinked.

"Ghost did say that Naruto had some major aces… but I never…" Hana gaped.

"This is most unexpected." Shino mused.

"Fūton… Rasenshuriken." Hinata muttered. "I've seen it a few times. It's Naruto-kun's personal ninjutsu that he made himself… something that Ghost-sensei himself cannot use." She closed her eyes. "Naruto-kun would never use that move on an opponent unless he truly felt that he needed that much power. It's extremely draining to use, even for him."

"No kidding." Kiba muttered as the giant dome slowly began to die down…only for it to explode in a giant wave of black chakra. "What the hell?"

"That couldn't be…" Hana's eyes widened in surprise as the camera focused on Han's body. "A blood shroud?"

"Blood shroud?" Hinata asked warily, not liking the way it sounds.

"The next level of a jinchūriki's transformation." The eldest one swallowed nervously. "If a normal shroud could be described as a human with their demon's shape… the blood shroud is more like a demon shrunk down to their host's size…" The screen widened to show Han in his four tailed state. "Kids… let me just make one thing clear. If you EVER come across a jinchūriki gone wild and they look like that… run. Don't even think about trying to fight it. Just focus on trying to escape with your lives. When those guys get into that state, you are no longer fighting the man holding the beast… you're going up against the demons themselves."

"Hold on." Kiba frowned. "If they're that dangerous, then how did…" His question was stopped as the TV Naruto developed his own shroud of chakra and grew six tails. "… Ah. Right. Forgot about that."

The battle of monsters started as the teens watched in silence, mentally taking notes of as many things as they could and not daring to say anything lest they miss something. All of them were humbled by the raw power and speed that both combatants were fighting at and they were terrified at the sheer savagery of their attacks.

"It seems we have much work to do in order to adequately fight alongside Naruto…" Shino frowned as the blonde boy used War Scars.

"Ho. Ly. Shit." Kiba gaped in disbelief. He had briefly seen the technique on two other occasions, but never on that kind of wide scale and never that clear to see.

"You can say that again." Hana mimicked her brother's reaction.

"When I saw Naruto-kun earlier this week, he did say that he managed to use War Scars for the first time in the fight… but I didn't know it was like that…" Hinata whispered more to herself than anyone else.

By the end of the fight, all four of the teens had developed a true respect for Naruto and somewhat feared him as well. All of them knew that he was special because of the Kyūbi and because of the training that Ghost had given him, but this was the first time they had seen the boy truly go all-out, and it was daunting to see just how far ahead of the curve he was. They would have dwelled on this line of thinking for a while if…

"Hold on…" Shino frowned as the video panned back while Kakashi picked up the unconscious blonde and showed someone watching from the shadows. The individual was alien to the four, as half his body lengthwise was white, the other was black, and he seemed to be enveloped in some kind of Venus flytrap. "Who…"

" _Well, that was pretty interesting…"_ The white half mused in a happy tone. _"Who would have thought that right after we found the Gobi, we'd come across the Kyūbi as well and see them duke it out?"_

" ** _The Kyūbi's much stronger than we first assumed. I'm starting to understand why Itachi and Kisame were having so much trouble trying to catch him…"_** The black half rasped much to the watcher's surprise. **_"The leader would want to know about this. Who knows how strong he'll be when we finally begin hunting…"_**

" _Yeah. Those kids were pretty impressive, too."_ The white half agreed. _"They might actually be a notable threat in a few years. Kakuzu would be pretty happy to have their names and info. It'll make collecting their future bounties easier…"_ He sighed. _"It's a shame that we can't eat any of the bodies or take any of the targets now…"_

" ** _Don't be greedy. There are too many ANBU around. We can't expose ourselves yet. It's too early."_** The darker side chided as the dual personality man began to sink into the tree he was attached to. **_"Wait until we start hunting the bijū again… then we can act with a bit more freedom…"_**

The screen shifted away from the disappearing man and over several trees before it slowed down and turned to show that it was in the hands of a smirking Ghost, with Shadow looking over his shoulder.

"You have about two and a half years to prepare for that guy's friends, brats. Better make them count."

o. o. o.

Omake:

Why Scab is no longer allowed to make creatures that target Magical Girls and potential Magical Girls:

Scabbard sat in his office as he looked at his latest and most disappointing failure to date. Unlike his previous attempts, this time was especially irritating to him, as he had assumed that he had a successful answer to his problems for once. "I would say that you have failed me… unfortunately, the only one I can blame for this is myself for not realizing that such a loophole existed."

"Please do not do that, master." The adorable looking creature bowed his head in shame. "It was my fault. I should have realized something was wrong when I discovered the girl's potential. It never crossed my mind that she would wish to use it to become an actual multiversal rule…"

"No. It was my error to overlook the implications of overlapping integrated time phenomena and miss the fact that the compounded potential power would be enough to override the system we had implemented." Scab shook his head. "Unfortunately, I will not have another chance at this."

"Why is that, master?" The creature tilted his head to the side confused.

"Many other gods have gotten wind of this mistake and are aware of the unexpected new addition to this minor multiverse. They feel that should I continue, I may accidentally cause a more devastating and unnatural alteration in the rules of the multiverse next time that may not be as easily managed. As such, I am forbidden from performing these projects again save for extreme situations, lest I gain more of their ire." The green haired man stated simply. "To be blunt, I do not blame them. I am fairly angry at myself for this mistake…"

The man sighed and turned to his creation. "Go back to your world and manage it as best you can. Your new task is to make sure that the general stability is maintained lest I gain more ire from the gods, or worse, another one of those brats manages to ascend to the higher plane."

The creature bowed. "As you wish, master. Even though you did not give me emotions, I am still somehow honored and grateful that you created me. I only wish that I had managed to fulfill my original duty as you had planned."

Scabbard sighed as his creation disappeared into the folds of space to his own multiverse and took out a clipboard and signed it off. "A shame. I really did think that I had finally managed to create a sufficient deterrent for magical potential girls to not develop their powers…"

Leaving the room, the man left the board on his desk to get some food.

Project code name: Incubator. Failed.

o. o. o.

A/N:

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeee! I'm twenty threeeeee!

(Looks at checklist of things to do):

Move out of house: Do that when stockpiles are big enough.

Get a car: Look at move out.

Work out more and drop 10 lbs: But sleeping is so much more comfyyyyyyy!

Get a sane girlfriend instead of occasionally briefly dating girls that have bad scary issues by chance that are for some reason attracted to you: Wait until you're done with grad school so you actually have the TIME to do that.

Laugh at said ex's 'cause they don't know who you are here and thus you got away with it: … In progress.

And enough of that.

Just to reiterate from the Omake: Scab REALLY hates Fangirls and their magical counterparts. He only gives Nanoha a little breathing room because she relies on blowing things up first before the friendship speech, but that's it.

So Fate Zero comes out today, which is awesome. I'm finally getting hired on salary at my current job, and life's good.

Yawaleh should be done in the next chapter or two, and I am doing the time skip, but then I'll be focusing most of my time on FFD. Speaking of which, we finally got some FFD fanart people! Two works from the deviantart of Namikaze-Naruto-Sage, and they are both fucking beautiful! View them and comment! Now!

I kinda rushed the end of this chapter, but really, I stink at wrapping things like this up. I'm trying my best, but real life is really nuts right now. Work is picking up and I just found out that I might get shipped to Barcelona Spain for a few weeks in the summer to help out my company set up some major equipment. It's good that I'm valued so highly, but at the same time I easily get nervous when it comes to stuff like this. I'm naturally a very low key person.

As for the Manga: I call bullshit on Kabuto's internal healing ability being attributed to Karin. Here's why:

Karin didn't join Orochimaru till AFTER the Chūnin Exams.

Kabuto first hinted at his healing ability in the Forest of Death. Hence. That shit does not match up! Hence, I am not giving that poor use of a plot device half the crap that Kishi gave him.

So that's it. Happy birthday to me and all that crap.

Oh yeah, Holy Crap I broke the 4k mark the last chapter. That was over a 200 review difference. Thank you everyone who helped out with that.

Review! Worship the log! Random random thingie here! And Review again!


	76. An End. A Beginning. And potato chips… I'm hungry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1983129/Third-Fang follow this link for the story's original writer I'm just posting this here with their permission.

Chapter 75: An End. A Beginning. And potato chips… I'm hungry.

I don't own Naruto, any of its characters, or any references in this story. If I did, horrible things would happen. Neither do I own any other anime that I reference. I do own all OCs and new jutsu in the story.

o. o. o.

Konoha, 6 months later:

Chōji couldn't help but look at Ino warily as they walked through the village from another session of training. "Um Ino... I know we're dating and all, but can you not stare at me like you used to stare at Sasuke back at the academy?" The fairly heavy boy asked nervously as he tried to shrink from the girl's hungry gaze.

"I… I'm trying to, Chōji… but…" The blonde girl whimpered as she stared at her boyfriend with stars in her eyes and drool coming out of her mouth. "But the way you looked with your new technique… it was just so… so hot! If I knew you could look like that with a bit of training, I would have dropped going after Sasuke YEARS ago!"

The Akimichi slumped into depression and cried comically. "I'm glad that my physical looks have solidified your decision of going out with me."

The Yamanaka pouted. "Don't be like that. We both know that my devilishly good looks are a good reason why you like me, so don't you dare try to say that I'm in the wrong for you."

Chōji glanced at Ino with a tired look. "I'm fairly certain that I've never stared at you with glitter coming out of my eyes, Ino."

Said female frowned and crossed her arms. "Well, then you clearly haven't been trying hard enough to love me. I mean, I care for you as a person enough that when you look hot, I am drooling all over your existence. But what about me? I'm already beautiful and a kind person, but you don't look at me like I look at you when you're hot…" She gasped before starting to develop tears. "You don't love me for who I am, do you?"

The young teen shifted on his feet uncomfortably. "You know that's not it, Ino… and please stop with the fake tears. I've seen you do it enough times to know when it's real and when it's not." He paused as the smaller teen continued to stare at him with wide innocent eyes. "You do realize that what you're doing would never work on anyone that knows that you're Anko-sensei's apprentice, right?" He fumbled with his words, his resistance falling under the adorable and relentless stare of his girlfriend. "… I'll pay for lunch if you stop right now."

"Oh Chōji-kun, I love you so much!" Ino squealed happily as she jumped and hugged him tightly.

"Yeah. I love you, too." The beefy boy laughed dejectedly while quietly mourning the fate of his wallet. Despite the fact that Ino was fairly small, Chōji knew for a fact that the girl could eat a lot. Not as much as him, but enough to turn a few heads if others were paying attention.

"Hey, do you want to see if anyone else is free for lunch?" Ino asked curiously as she separated herself from her bigger half. "The more the merrier, right?"

"Sure." The larger teen smiled gently. "Just… don't offer to let me to cover for them, please."

The blonde girl rolled her eyes and smirked before making the ram seal and closed her eyes. "Yeah, yeah." She remained quiet for several seconds. "Shikamaru is pretty close by, but everyone else that should be in the village are outside of my range."

"That sensing ability is pretty useful." Chōji mused as he crossed his arms and closed his eyes in thought. "It's not as detailed as the Byakugan, but for what you use it for, it doesn't need to be…" He paused and opened an eye. "Still, it's kinda hard to believe that you can use it for that combat taijutsu style the Ōgakari left you…"

Ino's face soured. She had lost a lot of faith in the psychotic family after the Han incident, but she was not dumb enough to turn away their advice and techniques when they offered it. "I do, too… but the theory behind it… I dunno. It's pretty risky if I don't perfect the style. Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off working on something else…"

"Then why do you have Anko-sensei running you through the ground as often as you can?" The male pointed out casually. "I know that what you're trying to do is new and risky, but what I'm doing is new and risky to me as well, Ino, but you've already seen how well it's working out for me. Just relax and try to master it as well as you can. Even you can't disagree that it would be really useful to have when you mix it with your poisons and taijutsu."

"For the most part, yeah." The girl sighed as she momentarily looked at the scroll in her possession with the kanji for 'Faint Smile' on the front. "Still, I kinda hoped for something a bit flashier, like what you're learning."

Chōji laughed as he looked at his scroll which had the kanji for 'Mountain King Road' on it. "Hey, you know as well as I do that this is more subtle than what most of my family's techniques are like." He patted her on the back. "Come on. Let's get Shika and Sasuke and get some food already."

"Don't you start ordering me around, Chōji." Ino put her hands on her hips defiantly. "We're both chūnin now. You don't outrank me anymore."

The larger teen laughed as he remembered how proud his girlfriend was about being promoted during the previous Chūnin Exam in Kiri... along with everyone else in their group - save Neji, who was still recovering - that didn't manage to get promoted the first time. The large boy had a faint suspicion that if Zabuza hadn't been so close to the Mizukage, then things might have been pretty nasty, since almost half of the finalists for those exams were from Konoha. "Maybe, but I still technically outrank you on missions due to the fact that I've been a chūnin longer." He raised his hand to stop the girl from arguing. "I know, I haven't been on a Naruto grade warped mission yet, but that's how things are now. Give me a break, I'm already paying for your meal."

"Yeah, yeah." The female sighed before giving her boyfriend a quick sympathetic hug and walking off in a seemingly random direction. "Come on. Shika's this way."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Fire:

"So what do you think, Kurenai?" Shadow mused as she loudly sucked on her chocolate bubblegum Slurpee and watched Kiba and Akamaru fight Sakon and Ukon in a brightly lit training room. "As far as training goes, this is pretty good stuff, right?"

"Mmm." The jōnin kept quiet as she watched the ex-Oto twins sharing the same body tactically avoid the Inuzuka pair with experienced and practiced moves and bide their time. "I can't say that I am comfortable using some of Orochimaru's most loyal servants as training partners, but I can't argue that it will give them experience…"

"Don't worry about it." The elder of the two shrugged, not at all paying attention to Kiba and Akamaru circling around their opponents so quickly that it looked like one solid ring before the entire thing rapidly shrunk and shredded the Oto shinobi into pieces… only to find out moments later that they had merely torn apart a rock. "The brats know better than to take things too far."

"… Remind me to get you to give me a solid definition of what you consider 'taking things too far' later." The more mature of the two deadpanned before looking at the sparring again, where Kiba and Akamaru had located their foe again and were dashing around in complex patterns to disorient their target. Despite the savagery of the match, no real damage had been done… until one of the two feral looking boys charged forward at their target straight on from behind and was met in the face with a lightning fast fist… shooting out of another fist… shooting out of a leg… out of the guy's BACK.

The genjutsu user blinked. "Did… did he just…" She turned to Shadow to see the girl had a large black claw made of darkness popping out of her skull and looping around at an awkward angle to pick her nose.

"Eh?" The Ōgakari blinked as if nothing was out of the ordinary. "What's up?"

The younger female's eyebrow twitched rampantly and regained control over herself. "… Never mind." She relented before turning to see Shino duking it out with the large orange haired teen that could almost pass for an Akimichi. While the Aburame was obviously physically outmatched, his constant use of replacing himself with insect clones and somehow covering his limbs with a sleek black exoskeleton helped out his odds.

Unfortunately, said outer shell didn't help out as much as the boy would have liked, as it only lasted at most a direct hit or two against the power of his larger opponent before shattering and needing to be replaced. Shino was a smart person and was fairly built given his training, but even so, he could not stand up to his opponent punch for punch…

Which was why it wasn't surprising when, after the bug user was sent launching back from another crushing blow, that a small swarm of insects shot up from the ground behind the larger teen and latched onto his back.

"How many colonies does Shino have again?" Shadow asked whimsically as she inspected the booger on the claw's tip. "I remember hearing that a solid adult Aburame has around five, but the really strong ones have over ten and can force their colonies to reproduce fast enough to cover a large summon within a few seconds."

"He has four already, which at his age is almost unheard of." Kurenai admitted. "What determines how many they have is how much chakra they produce, how physically big they are, and their mental connection with their familiars. Shino apparently is a prodigy when it comes to the first and third, but he needs to wait a bit before getting any more. Otherwise, it could hurt his physical growth." She crossed her arms and sighed. "According to what Shibi has told me, the four colonies that Shino already has are technically undersized due to the fact that Shino is still very young and not large enough to accommodate them all adequately. His abilities are much more diversified than almost any other Aburame recorded at his age, but in exchange, the efficiency and speed at which he can do some of these things is lower than they technically should be."

"So pretty much, Shino's stuck in his clan arts until he finally hits his growth spurt." Shadow summarized with a disinterested tone. "Meh. Oh well. Perhaps it's for the best. He can spend his time improving what he has already." She blinked once as she watched Jirōbō blast off the insects on his body with a surge of chakra as he momentarily activated his modified curse seal and made some seals. "Specializing and tactical focusing is a good way to fight, but that doesn't give you the excuse to slack off on straight up combat and learning power moves. Being versatile means being spread out, and that includes having moves that are massive, powerful, and strike the fear of god into men, women and children…"

Kurenai sent Shadow an irritated look. "Let me guess, you specialize in the latter of that list."

The psychotic woman chuckled evilly. "Nope. I specialize in the moves that strike the fear of Me into God… and pretty much everything else. You'd be surprised in how many things I've struck the fear of me into. Hell, even I'm surprised at some of the things I've terrified. Like that one time at that clam farm… And I'm not talking about the clams, I literally scared the shit out of the farm itself. I STILL don't know how the hell that happened…"

"And I don't want to know…" The jōnin muttered tiredly as she glanced over to the third fight in the room, where Hinata was going toe to toe with Kimimaro. Kurenai had to admit, the white haired teen's performance was beyond exceptional and impressive. So much so that she was fairly certain that he had a solid shot of beating her if she fought him. While his rather direct moves showed that he was still nowhere near as experienced as she was, they also showed his pure natural skill with his art and technique, dancing and striking with such grace that even she had to begrudgingly admit that Orochimaru definitely knew what he was doing when he trained the boy.

That wasn't to say that Shadow's method of motivating her students to fight harder wasn't genius in its own twisted way. Pretending that their opponent was a weaker Shadow was bound to motivate anyone who had trained under her to go after their foe with an unnatural amount of bloodlust and rage. Especially rage.

Yet still, Hinata was holding her own phenomenally against her opponent. While she was nowhere near as fast or as strong, her natural flexibility, fast reaction time, and her clan's taijutsu made up for it in spades. Every time the bone user's self-made weapons came in contact with the girl's hands, they instantly shattered, unable to withstand the violent chakra fluctuation happening within.

This of course did not deter Kimimaro from attacking, as after the first time it happened, he replaced the weapon and attempted to deal finishing blow after finishing blow to the girl at lightning speeds while avoiding her counterstrikes. However, much to his minor irritation, the girl was significantly more skilled and adept than he originally gave her credit for and was constantly shattering or warping the bones he used to attack the girl. While it didn't take him much effort to make another one, it was still more than annoying and tiring to go through the effort of constantly having to make more weapons.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kimimaro wondered if this was what that girl Tenten experienced whenever she fought him…

Likewise, Hinata was unable to deal any significant damage to Kimimaro as well, seeing as his speed, strength, range and skill were enough to prevent her from getting close enough to deal a significant blow without risking herself in the process. Kaiten and chakra blasts were out as well since they required time, even if it was very little, in order to perform, time that the bone user could easily exploit to gain victory.

As such, the spar between the two strongest members of the age group was effectively a stalemate. Neither could manage to get past the other's defenses fast enough to pull off a win.

"Hmm. She's gotten better than I thought she would at her current age." Shadow mused after a few minutes as Kimimaro jumped back and fired off the bones in his free hand's fingertips at the girl, only for his foe to spin rapidly to produce a dome of chakra to defend herself. In turn, Hinata managed to stop and fire off some chakra blasts of her own at the white haired boy, who dodged them with relative ease, despite the fact that said blasts were for the most part invisible to the naked eye. "Odds are she won't win, but considering how much effort they're both putting into this, I'm guessing it's exactly the push they need to get to the next level pretty soon." Her eyes flashed amused. "It looks like Kimimaro's enjoying this as well, not that he would ever admit it…"

Kurenai didn't say anything as her student fought the bone user and nodded in agreement. While to most people it looked like the two were dead even, the illusion user could tell that her favorite student was losing her stamina faster than her opponent. She estimated that the fight would go on for another five to ten minutes of constant battling at the most before one of them either made a mistake or gave up.

Still, the woman couldn't help but feel nervous. Here she was, letting her students fight against Orochimaru's top servants for training of all things and all she was doing was sitting to the side like it was normal. "Shadow I know this is a bit late, but this training method…" The woman started off slowly, not wanting to irritate the woman who had only a few weeks beforehand calmed down from whatever argument she had had with Ghost.

"I know what you are going to say Kurenai, and I completely agree. This training is completely disproportionate and underwhelming compared to what the brats should be doing." Shadow interrupted her in a seemingly understanding way before walking up and crossing her arms. "OI, MINIONS! SUDDEN UNEXPLAINABLE BATTLEGROUND CHANGE!"

Without any other warning, the entire room was plunged into momentary darkness before it cleared up again to show that the ground had all but turned into violent rapids and whirlpools that could suck in all but the strongest water element ninja. The unfortunate trainee's only saving graces were several dozen rickety platforms of varying sizes and stability floating all over the place and countless more soaking wet and slippery stones jutting out of the water.

Within moments, the sparring teens had gone through the appropriate sequences of surprise, confusion, realization, and adaptation before moving as fast as they could to a solid platform where they could fight before continuing again.

"What the… that wasn't… how?" Kurenai blinked in confusion, clearly not meaning for something like this to happen.

Shadow grinned. "Kurenai. Think for a moment about what just happened, and who you are talking to. Do you really want ME of all people to answer that question?"

The woman's eyebrow twitched rampantly in frustration, but didn't say anything. She knew better than to answer that question, or rather, she knew better than to try and look into any question or answer that was in itself bizarre when regarding the Ōgakari. Doing so would only leave a person more confused than when they started… and possibly traumatized.

"Hmm…" Shadow grumbled as she looked around and drank some more of her horrifyingly disturbing Slurpee. Off to the side, Jirōbō was having a bit of a rougher time against Shino since there was no more earth around to do his techniques. On another fight, Kiba was also having a bit of trouble since he had less room to do anything. Hinata and Kimimaro… didn't slow down in the slightest, as the former's chakra control was enough for her to jump off of the water multiple times to get to a rock or a platform. Kimimaro, on the other hand, grew his femur bones out through his feet into the stepping stones for extra stability or just as makeshift stilts to stay above the water.

"It's still not enough…" She mused in a disappointed tone before snapping her fingers in realization. "Of course! How silly of me! A class 7 white water rapids fighting location is simply soulless without random debris and giant unidentified aquatic animals that come up at inopportune times!"

"Unidentified what now?" Kurenai blinked in mixed fear and confusion just before a giant… thing… with the head of an alligator and the body of a fish leapt over the platform that she and Shadow were on and plunged into the water in front of them.

"Oh, come on!" Both women heard Kiba, Jirōbō, Sakon and Ukon roar in frustration, voicing out what were on the faces of the rest of the other teens there.

"Don't worry! If he eats you, you'll still be brought back when the fighting's done!" Shadow yelled back. "I can't do anything about the pain and most likely permanent mental scarring, though!"

"Okay, this is pushing it, even for you." Asuma's girlfriend grunted. "How the hell are you doing this?"

Shadow shrugged and took out a metal box with a red bump on one side. "I have a big red button. It does things."

"Big red buttons do not change the environment and break the laws of physics!" The jōnin pointed at the woman accusingly.

"Scab's do." The immortal casually replied before putting said big red button back into her coat. "You should hear him rant about how much a pain in the ass it is to design these things. Granted, they are in fact such an utter pain to make that I've pretty much confirmed that the main if only reason why giant evil corporations ever make buildings and systems with them is to completely piss of their engineers, but that's a whole 'nother story altogether."

Kurenai bit her lip and closed her eyes in order to prevent herself from continuing the conversation and provoking Shadow to say something else that would give her a migraine or make the one she had worse.

"Sooo… have you and Asuma finally gotten to screwing each other yet, or are you still acting like Hinata before she supposedly grew a pair?" Shadow continued without any hesitation.

"Please stop talking. I may have to hurt you if you do." The illusion master grunted, completely ignoring the sight of Kiba and Akamaru fighting back to back with Sakon and Ukon against a small swarm of Murlocs that had appeared out of the water for no reason. "You're making my head hurt."

"Aww, but the burning means you are pushing your brain muscle to the max! And illusionists like you focus on using your brain! Feel the burn, Nai-chan! It will make you stronger!" The immortal persisted with sadistic glee.

"I've decided. From now on, I'm sparring against one of those brats whenever there's a session just so I don't have to talk to you anymore." The woman stated in a dead tone.

"… So does Asuma's beard tickle or itch when he…" Shadow started slowly before a bloodshot look from the other woman caused her to back away. "Shutting up now."

The next few minutes went along as expected given the situation. The teens there constantly swapped between fighting one another and fighting whatever monstrosities randomly popped out from the raging water to try and eat them. There was one exceptionally impressive part where the giant sharp toothed thing from earlier shot up from the water again only to have its head blown up from the inside out by a combination of Kimimaro's bones in the shape of a giant spear and a Rasengan from Hinata, but other than that, nothing exceptional stood out from the bizarre situation.

Suddenly, the freestanding doorframe behind the eldest two there opened to reveal Tayuya in a sour mood, but not at all surprised at the image in front of her. "Oi numbnuts! Jūgo says food's ready! If you take too long, it'll get cold and taste like ass!" She yelled at the top of her lungs in order to gain everyone's attention.

Within an instant, the scenery changed again. Just as Shino and Jirōbō were about to finish off a giant turtle and Kiba and Ukon were being dragged off by half a dozen Murlocs in nets, and Kimimaro and Hinata were about to finish their own fight, the room warped so that it was simply an empty stone room not unlike the preliminary finals room for the Chūnin Exams. Not a monster in sight.

Of course, this did not stop Kiba from yelling for a few more seconds in paranoid shock, Jirōbō and Shino from slamming the ground hard enough to create a sizeable crater, and Kimimaro and Hinata from hitting one another hard enough to send them flying in opposite directions.

"You're enjoying this too much." Kurenai muttered to Shadow, who in turn didn't say anything, as she was too busy trying to get more chocolate bubblegum chaos out through a straw.

"At least you don't live here. Trust me. Don't push your luck with this psycho. You'll be saner that way." Tayuya added, not at all surprised by the sudden change in scenery.

"Speaking from experience, no doubt." The elder illusionist deadpanned.

"Lady, I was trained by Orochi-fucking-maru. What do you think?" The redhead snapped back.

"I think you should watch your mouth before I show you what a real genjutsu user can do again, kid." Kurenai countered, finally losing the control on her patience.

"Aww. Someone's cranky. Maybe she's got an itch?" Shadow grinned before both females glared death at her. "Right. No talking. Gotcha."

"I know I said I wanted extreme training to get stronger, but this wasn't exactly what I had in mind…" Kiba grunted as he limped past the females there to get some food. "I wonder if I'll ever get to do normal extreme training in my life."

"The odds are not likely." Shino stated dryly as he approached cradling his right arm and side. "Why? Because we are being trained by people who are anything but conventional, rational, reasonable... or sane."

"No need to be polite about it, kid." Sakon spoke up as Ukon joined bodies with him in order to increase their healing ability. "These Ōgakari bastards are fucking nuts. We're not exactly sure who has less morals between them and Orochimaru-sama."

"Isn't it obvious?" Kiba snorted. "That snake fucking bas-urk!" He couldn't talk anymore as a long bone sword was placed under his chin. It was at that moment that he remembered one of the major rules when it came to living in the secret base: don't directly insult Orochimaru in front of Kimimaro. No matter what logic there was behind the statement, you just don't do it.

"If you slander Orochimaru-sama's name again, I will kill you, trash." Kimimaro spoke evenly and emotionlessly, despite the internal damage Hinata had dealt to him. "The only reason why I have tolerated your pathetic existence in the first place is because Ōgakari-sama has ordered so, but my patience with your ignorance is far from limitless."

His very real threat was interrupted as Hinata calmly moved the blade from her teammate's neck. "Please excuse my teammate's behavior, Kimimaro-san. He has a habit of saying the first thing that comes to his mind without thinking on occasion. He has been getting better at it, but it still gets out of hand sometimes." She made eye contact with the elder teen and smiled politely and gently. "Since he is part of my team, please allow me to be in charge of his punishment should he step out of line again. I need him alive and unmaimed when we leave this place."

The eldest teen glared at the girl for a few moments before withdrawing his blade and walking away. "I make no promises should the trash lose control over himself again."

"Aww." Shadow crooned as she watched Kiba swallow heavily and back away from Hinata's cold stare. "I think widde Kimimawo wikes Hinata…" She chuckled amused before freezing and looking in a random direction, completely ignoring the chakra blasts and small bones that sped by her body as she swayed lazily left and right.

"Is something the matter?" Kurenai asked warily as the rest of the teens went to have food at their own pace, almost all of them noticing Shadow getting distracted by something, but not showing that they were interested other than a twitch or a quick glance.

The immortal there remained quiet for a few seconds before a dry smirk etched itself onto her face. Her silhouette grew immensely within the span of a few seconds, and immediately afterwards, a familiar blur of fire pink and pure silver, easily the size of a large horse, shot up from it towards the roof until it seemingly disappeared into a fold in the air, like reality was pushed aside for a moment.

"Don't worry. It's nothing important." She sighed aridly before yawning. "Zuzushi just wanted to go outside to play for a bit…"

o. o. o.

On the shores of the Land of Lightning:

"Once again, you have my thanks, Bee-san." Gaara bowed politely to Bee as he stood on solid earth. "Without your aid, I am fairly certain that I would never be able to gain as much control over Shukaku as I have now."

"Same here." Rōshi yawned. "You're as weird as ever, but you know what you're doing. Goku's pretty satisfied with your training too. It makes using his power easier, and it's less of a pain on me when I use it." He cracked his neck. "It would have been nice if I didn't have to prove myself to him in combat to prove my worth, though. My body's wrecked from my old age and drinking as it is."

"Nah, ya foo's. It's all coo'." Bee chuckled as he wrapped horribly without a care in the world. "Ya'll felt tha flo from the get go, fo sho. All I had ta do was show ya what ya had ta do. Couldn't leave mah new homie's hangin, now could I?" He paused and looked around. "By the way, where's that old perv, Masta Scab, and number nine?"

"We're right here." Jiraiya called out as he, Naruto and Scabbard walked out of the forest on the giant turtle's back and into view. "I was just setting up that summoning relay for the toads that I mentioned earlier. The elders seemed to be interested in going to this place for vacation when we were talking about it earlier."

"You'd think they'd be grateful for that setup I got them in Moon Country." Naruto grumbled irritably.

"It's not your fault, kid." Jiraiya chuckled and patted his student on the back. "Those old geezers just like hanging around other animals more than they do around human society. They prefer nature over cities, what with being sages and all that."

"You forgot old and crabby as hell too." The blonde boy yawned tiredly. "I can't say that this place is one of my top visiting spots, but I'll still miss it."

"Indeed." Scabbard nodded as he walked off the turtle and ignored the entire island shake as if it was undergoing an earthquake, when in reality the giant beast was merely shivering in relief that the absurdly powerful existence was no longer on his body. "This turtle is quite a specimen, as are its inhabitants. It would be worthwhile to get more data out of them and…" He paused as Naruto and Jiraiya were looking at him warily. "Please don't stare at me as if I was Orochimaru."

"You were talking about doing experiments on absurdly dangerous creatures." The elder sage deadpanned. "It's kinda hard not to."

"And you wonder why we scientists don't like telling other people about the specifics of what we do when it involves risky and large projects." The immortal shook his head. "It is almost no wonder why he went over the edge…" He paused as he saw everyone there staring at him accusingly. "What? I was only going to do minor tests. Nothing permanent." ' _At least nothing visibly permanent_. _'_ He mentally corrected himself. Having a massive mobile living fortress was too good of a subject to not play with a bit.

It wouldn't be much. Just a few well-hidden cannons, turrets, maybe a class seven railgun… or seventeen…

"Ignoring our token sample of alternate reality insanity, we should do a quick recap of how well your training here has gotten. It's almost certain that most of you won't be able to come here again before the shit hits the fan, so it's best to remind ourselves of what everyone is capable of at the moment." Jiraiya sighed.

Rōshi nodded. "Goku and I are pretty solid. I'm nowhere near as good as Bee when it comes to a full bijū transformation, and I'm still not used to that bijū-dama move yet, but I was already pretty used to controlling his power before, and we should be good with that in the next year so long as there aren't any interruptions."

"I managed to obtain Shukaku's chakra, but he is still… difficult." Gaara stated calmly with crossed arms and closed eyes. "I doubt I will ever be able to achieve a full transformation while staying in control with my sanity the way it is now or that bijū-dama technique. However, the boost in chakra will definitely be a boon to my training and odds. I am still in the process of learning how to control the full scope of his power, but like Rōshi, I should be able to overcome that obstacle fairly soon."

Everyone turned to Naruto, who was pouting. "I only managed to get about half of Kyūbi's chakra before things went to hell." He admitted, though it wasn't like the men there didn't know this fact already. The fox was after all the most powerful of the bijū, and unlike everyone else, he tried to gain the beat's power without aid. Then there was the fact that the blonde had only been able to manage three drops of that cursed liquid before fearing for his remaining sanity when he encountered his beast. Naruto tried not to think about what happened during the event or how bad things would have been if his parents hadn't managed to shove Kyūbi back into his cage when they did.

"He's still really pissed off at me, but we already have a deal set up to calm him down a bit. Since only his yang chakra was sealed in me, I'm gonna be slowly feeding him my yin chakra for a while in order to slowly restore him to his true full power in a few years…" He paused before sighing tiredly. "And then I'm gonna fight him for the full control over his power... again. Hopefully by then, my body and natural chakra reserves should be strong enough to take him down. We should at least be on slightly better terms by then as well." He shrugged. "Regardless, I managed to get a fair bit of control over the chakra I have right now, and I've been trying to make my version of the Bijū Dama to work, but it's slow going."

"No shit, ya foo." Bee nodded. "Tryin ta pull off a mega monster move when ya ain't a mega monster in size isn't a walk in the park. What you're doing is leavin us all scratchin our heads in the dark. Just be lucky that your old man left you with that move. Rasengan will be your ticket to findin your groove."

"I agree with the idiot." Rōshi nodded while scratching his back tiredly. "If it's hard to use it when you're fully transformed, then doing it when you're still in human form should be impossible." He leered at the teed. "Especially when you're the size of a midget."

"I'm just hitting my growth spurt, you senile old ass!" The short blonde roared defiantly with burning eyes.

"Chill nine, chill." Bee chuckled amused.

"Before we go though, I suggest we do one more small thing." Scab spoke up as he walked in the middle of the group.

"Hm?" Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "What's that?"

"It's nothing significant." The man shrugged as four bars of metal shot out from his body and melted onto the surprised jinchūriki there, connecting them all together. "Just making sure that all goodbyes are being properly made…"

_Inside Scabbard's mindscape:_

The bijū and jinchūriki suddenly found themselves around the edges of a massive floating platform over a seemingly endless, slowly ever changing, but lifeless city filled with technological marvels that none of them could comprehend. The infinite burning lightning green flames that covered the sky flared silently, but held a weight that humbled even Kyūbi at a glance. Standing in the middle of the group was Scabbard, as aloof as he always.

"This is a bit different than last time." Naruto mused as he looked around at the environment below him. He spotted the swords littering the top of the buildings below, the burning sky above, and the large pillars of electricity constantly connecting the two together all around them, but almost everything else about the world had been altered.

"I had to do some tweaking here in order to perform Unlimited Blade Works." The immortal admitted without shame. "You could say that this is what my soul is like most of the time."

"Wait… you can literally alter your soul?" The teen blinked in disbelief.

"With some practice, yes." The man nodded in confirmation. "Though it is not something I recommend unless you had someone experienced with this subject, who could force you back to your original state should something go wrong. Otherwise, the results tend to be… unfortunate."

" **The endless flames of the Legacy's Prophet…"** The Hachibi muttered in a tone that barely concealed both awe and humility as he looked up at the sky before turning his attention back to Scab. **"To hear about it and to see it in person are truly two different things… and to think I have had the honor to lay eyes on them twice now…"**

" **Indeed."** The Yonbi muttered in quiet and uncomfortable awe as he stared at the sea of fire in the sky. **"It makes one truly wonder if having a being of your level of power on our side is a good or bad thing… however, I do not think that is why you decided to bring us here…"**

" **Yeah! What gives?"** Shukaku roared angrily, though he couldn't really do anything more than that since all the bijū there were surrounded by a strong barrier that prevented them from moving around much. Their containers were, given their relationship with their beasts, either sitting on their heads or on a seat right in front of the barriers.

Looking closer at all the beasts, Scab noted, though he wasn't really surprised by it, that the Ichibi and Kyūbi both looked diminished in power in size, and patience. Likewise, the Yonbi and the Hachibi were both massive, casual, and vastly less irritated then the other two.

"I'll be blunt." The immortal stated with his hands in his pockets and not at all intimidated by the angry and confused looks he was getting. "You bijū are siblings. This is most likely the last time some of you are ever going to see one another. Unlike the previous timeline, this time you WILL die if you are captured. My siblings will not lift a finger to save you if you are captured. Before I let any of you go, you are going to at the very least acknowledge one another and say a decent farewell."

Naruto blinked in confusion, much like everyone else there. "Really? That's it?"

" **That is very… thoughtful of you, envoy of the Sky Mother…"** The giant four tailed ape mused slowly. **"However, I must admit that I still don't see the merit in doing so. Most of us bijū have not shared such pleasant exchanges with one another for centuries."**

" **Indeed."** Kyūbi nodded in agreement. He was not arguing against the activity, he was merely supporting the futility of trying to get it to happen. **"Even if they are my siblings, they are weaker than me. There is no point in me acknowledging them. The strong kill the weak. Should they die, that would only prove that…"**

The beat's statement was interrupted as a single bolt of lightning shot past his face, searing his seemingly impenetrable skin and continuing infinitely into the burning sky.

" **Hahahahaha!"** Shukaku laughed hysterically at the sight of Kyūbi being silenced so quickly in mid-sentence. **"That was great! Too bad you missed! You should have just blasted off that fucking fox's…"** Another bolt of lightning tore through the air and this time pierced the Ichibi's left ear. **"Son of a bitch! What the fuck was that for, you bastard?"**

"I don't miss." The man stated factually with his finger still pointing at the creature's ear before turning back to the seething nine tails, who despite being humiliated, was in control of himself enough to hold his tongue. "By your logic then, no one would find it surprising, or mourn you if I, the strongest one here, killed you right here and now." Despite the blatancy of his threat, his face and expression retained its common state of boredom and lack of concern of anything around him.

"Then what is the purpose of them doing so?" Gaara asked warily. "You are aware that simply forcing them to say something that they don't mean will be absolutely meaningless."

The eldest one there sighed as he returned his hand to his pocket. "That, I will leave the bijū to figure out. If they cannot, then I fear that your beloved father figure, the Sage of Six Paths, bothered to care for your wellbeing in futility."

" **That's a low blow, bringing up the sage like that."** The Hachibi frowned, as were the other bijū to varying degrees. **"Much of our transformation in mind state can be attributed to mankind's foolishness. Regardless, even if I agree to this, Kurama and Shukaku are not likely to actually go through with it. To assume such is insane."**

"Indeed, I am." The immortal agreed, much to everyone's surprise. "It is not that difficult to imagine. I find that most human and general cultural standards are woefully inefficient, useless and counterproductive. I merely follow a fair number of them because it makes things more challenging that way, and so I do not have to bother with potential allies turning on me in fear because of my more radical 'questionable methods' that I would employ otherwise. In fact, it would not be that far off to assume that I share many lines of thinking as Orochimaru, only I am far more intelligent, patient, and logical." He shrugged. "Otherwise, I could have easily just killed everyone involved that I deemed unnecessary to my plans, controlled a few others by hijacking and rewriting the contents of their brain, and gone with the most efficient route."

He began ticking off on his fingers. "Among the options I had considered involved splitting up Kurenai and Asuma so that they would focus more on their training for the upcoming conflicts, kidnapping Hinata and altering her mind so she would be more efficient as a fighter, then have her serve as a spy for me on the side. Then I would have killed Itachi and stepped in as Sasuke's new teacher, so that he would depend on me as his new figure to look up to… After that, Taki would be mysteriously destroyed with everyone inside save for Fū, followed by the solidification of connections to all the major Daimyō courts in the general area, enabling me and my information network to gain a stronger hold into every country in the resulting confusion… as for Tenten… well, I pretty much did what I wanted to do with her…"

Everyone there save Scab developed a shiver in their spines as they realized that things could have turned out very differently if this man had been left to his own devices. The way he could easily talk about performing such atrocities and events so casually was very unsettling.

"Regardless of what I would have done, that is not the point of the conversation." The immortal concluded. "The point is you four." He nodded to the beasts. "Are siblings. I realize that several of you wish to murder one another. That is understandable, given your circumstances and the way you think. However, unless you have a death wish, I recommend you put your meaningless grudges aside for now. That masked man running the other side of the show is in possession of at least half of Kyūbi's original power, in addition to a Sharingan and several dangerous techniques that render most attacks useless." He looked at Shukaku in particular. "If you truly believe that you are capable of taking out such an opponent by yourself, then I vastly overestimated your intelligence."

The immortal closed his eyes and snorted. "I will leave you now, but make no mistake: you will not be able to leave until you four establish some sort of decent relationship with one another again. I'm not telling you to break out into song, Zuzushi forbid… we get enough of that from Ghost. Being by yourself is one thing, being truly alone is something else entirely… something I'm fairly certain that some of your jinchūriki can understand quite well."

With that, the section of the platform the man was standing on shot downward back towards the mechanical city, leaving the visitors there in silence and staring at one another warily.

"Soooo…" Bee looked around casually. "Who's first?"

Several miles below the floating platform, Scabbard barely registered the fact that Bee was getting smacked around by the Hachibi again for doing something stupid. He had more important things to focus on…

Like his siblings just returning and in significantly worse shape than he had estimated…

Annoying things tended to happen when his estimations were off…

o. o. o.

Konoha:

"Neji, you need to stop already. Even if you have recovered enough to do some more training, you are still in no condition to push yourself this far." Sakura sighed as she pulled back the elder teen from the fish he was practicing medical techniques on.

"Just a bit more…" The Hyūga panted as he attempted to revive the fish before the physically stronger girl yanked him back.

"I said no, Neji." The pinkette frowned. "Even though your chakra control is great, you are still wasting more energy than most medics because you are not only using chakra for the technique, but to keep your Byakugan active as well. Tsunade-sama ordered me to teach you more advanced medical arts, but she also trusted me to make sure you didn't act like Naruto and kill yourself in the process. Unlike him, YOU don't have a healing factor."

It had been a long and painful recovery process for Neji. Despite it being nearly half a year since he had been injured and in the care of herself, Shizune, and Tsunade, it had taken the three of them nearly that entire time to get him to the point where he could travel around without crutches or bandages. His body was still in pretty sore shape and would require almost another half a year for him to get into the condition he was in before the incident… well, maybe three months with Gai around, but still, it would be a miracle that he was in this good of a state right now if he had been in another hospital's care.

Still, despite the fact that the prodigy had been slow to recover physically, his training in other fields had not stopped. During the time he was stuck in bed, the teen had been relentlessly training getting used to having only one Byakugan, in addition to studying up as much as he could on medical techniques and its effects on the chakra circulatory system. In fact, his progress in that specific field was staggering. While he technically lacked Sakura's chakra control, his ability to improvise and learn was high enough that he had progressed far enough in the fields he had dedicated his studies to that at this point, Sakura was fairly certain that he would surpass her within the next year… in those specific fields only, of course.

Turning him around, the girl got a good look at her friend and held back a sigh. The Hyūga had taken to wearing a headband like Kakashi's to hide his dōjutsu lately. If what she had heard was true, then many of the elder members of his clan had more than once voiced their displeasure at such an action, since their bloodline was still something to be proud of, even if hiding it gave him a tactical advantage. He didn't even need to move the headband in order to use his eye, which was another huge boon if Anko's occasional outbursts when she was planning to train Neji after he recovered were any indication.

Because of that, the only eye looking back at her was the slit blue eye that had once belonged to Naruto. According to Neji, though in not exact words, it was surprisingly sharp and in some cases even better than his original eye (when it wasn't activated, of course). It still freaked out more than a few people who weren't expecting him to have such an eye, but if the rumors were true, Neji had recently learned how to make it glow, much to his poorly hidden amusement.

All in all, it was the way Neji acted that had most people concerned. He was still polite, well mannered, and enjoyed spending time with his friends, but he was less talkative than before, and all he seemed to be truly interested in for the past few months was training and whatever was related to the scroll he had received from the Ōgakari.

Sakura wasn't fooled. She had seen several of her friends carrying a training instruction scroll or two around the past few months and from what she could tell, they were doing fairly well. The problem was that Neji's involved medical ninjutsu somehow… and the only times she saw those techniques used for real offensive purposes were when Tsunade and Kabuto wielded them to devastating effects. The pink haired teen could only shiver in anticipation and fear in trying to imagine what a technique made by the Ōgakari that required medical skills could do…

"I almost had it, Sakura." Neji panted, covered in sweat and snapping Sakura out of her musings.

"And if you did, I would have to strap you into a bed here like Naruto." The girl frowned and crossed her arms. "Remember how Lee trains now? Resting is as important as working out, otherwise you'll get weaker, not stronger." She began to crack her knuckles on her free hand by flexing them menacingly. "And so help me, if I catch you trying to heal yourself without supervision again…"

The Hyūga shrunk under the girl's frightening gaze. "I understood what I did wrong the first time, Sakura. You… you don't have to remind me… please."

The pinkette grinned evilly. "Oh, I wasn't going to remind you… I was merely going to tell Hinata when she returned."

Neji shrunk even further. While Sakura had become rather infamous recently due to the way she handled rather uncooperative patients, it could be argued that Hinata was even worse. At least Sakura's methods still left you with enough motor functions to go to the bathroom by yourself once it was all over…

"I'm beginning to see why Naruto and Sasuke often stated that you were in charge of most of their non-cataclysmic missions." The male shivered like a terrified child.

"I find that fear is a great motivator and tool to get hyperactive idiots and prideful idiots to shut up and listen." The medic smiled sweetly. "If that doesn't work, physical force and blackmail work just as well, and before you ask, Hinata has told us girls so much about you. It really is a sign of how much she cares about you to know so much."

"How… kind of her." Neji grit his teeth in anger, shame and fear. Truly, his uncle and teachers had vastly downplayed the dangers of the female gender.

"Indeeeeeed…" The medic laughed darkly with sharp teeth before returning to normal. "So Neji, what are you planning to do?"

"I'm going to go home, meditate, stretch, eat a moderate but healthy meal, read, and go to bed early to help my body recover." The elder teen recited as if he was reading from a script.

"That's good!" Sakura smiled angelically with sparkles around her head. "If you keep it up, you'll be back to good health in no time!"

"Forgive me if I don't share your joy." Neji sighed as he stood up and slowly walked out the doorway. "I will come back again tomorrow for some more training…"

"Same as always." Sakura nodded in agreement as she began to clean up the books, paperwork, and equipment they had been using for said training. While in most applications, medical ninjutsu didn't take up that much space, the theory, pure basic teachings, and in depth application of it took up a fair amount of room and equipment. For those who were just starting out, it was almost mandatory for there to be equipment around not only to guide the beginner's first attempts at the ninjutsu, but equipment for the off chance that the technique went wrong and the student accidentally did something horrific to their bodies. Out of all injuries that a shinobi could do to another person, accidental medical based ones were among the most difficult to heal and diagnose.

As she bent down to pick up the fish used in the day's training, something she hated to do since the living ones smelled bad and kept on thrashing in her arms… and the dead ones smelled so bad that she would always have to shower and wash her clothes after dealing with them, she noticed that one of them had turned an odd color. Unlike the other fish, this one seemed to be decaying at a faster rate than the others… too fast for a fish that had only recently just died.

"What the?" The medic frowned as she walked to the specimen and looked at it closely. She had seen medical accidents that had caused necrosis before, but never this quickly. Deciding to see what Neji did wrong so she could point it out to him later, she went through the seals for a in depth diagnostic technique and placed her hands on the fish…

Her eyes widened in shock. "Th-this is…"

"Honestly…" Neji sighed as he wiped some sweat off of his face and walked outside of the hospital. "What is it with women and gossiping? I thought it was bad enough when I was getting called all those strawberry names…"

Unfortunately, his musings were cut off as a strong fist grabbed onto his clothes, spun him around, sucker punched him in the stomach to take away any air he had in his lungs, dragged him to a nearby alleyway away from the main streets, and then held him up against a nearby wall with relentless force, knocking the wind out of him again. Coughing hard due to the unexpected blow to his still weak chest, the Hyūga blinked confused at Sakura, who was pinning him to the wall angrily and staring at him with unwavering green eyes.

"I know what you are trying to create." The girl stated simply in a dead even, yet clearly pissed tone. "The real question is, do you?"

Neji swallowed heavily before gasping for air some more. He had heard from Sasuke that Sakura could be as intimidating as their teachers at times, but until now, he had never understood what he had meant. The look the girl was giving him was not of someone who was pissed, but of someone who was prepared to do what was necessary if she was forced to go down the dark path. It was something that he had not expected anyone to have unless they had been stuck in war for years on end.

"… Yes." He replied simply with a raspy voice, knowing that lying would get him nowhere.

"That… that THING that you are trying to complete is an abomination and an insult to everything any self-respecting medic lives by." Tsunade's apprentice hissed. "I expected someone like Orochimaru or one of his subordinates to come up with or use something like this. Not you, Neji."

"It's… it's a last resort." The Hyūga feebly argued. "Without two Byakugan, I can't… use a good portion of my clan's techniques anymore. I know how terrible of a technique it is… believe me, I know full well what it does… but if I complete it, it will most likely be something that will save my and our friend's lives against the trials we have in the future. It's designed to work best against those with large amounts of chakra…"

"Damn it, Neji!" Sakura growled as she slammed him against the wall again hard, this time causing the building to tremble a small amount. "There are other ways to get stronger!"

"I know that!" He yelled angrily before looking down. "I know… but… I can't take being surrounded by monsters anymore without reassurance in myself." He grit his teeth. "You, Naruto, Hinata, Lee… Everyone is getting so strong so quickly, passing me by while I stagnate inside my home and in the Hospital, and yet… and yet those THINGS that look like men keep on showing up… and I'm afraid I won't be able to keep myself alive for much longer at this rate…"

The girl's gaze softened slightly as did her grip on him. "Neji…"

"Look at me, Sakura." He continued. "I've lost my eye, and I've only just recently been able to start physical training again. I'm supposed to be a genius and a prodigy unseen in years, but I've already fallen behind everyone we know." He laughed bitterly. "Do you know what it's like to have your eye crushed and be held in the air by your head with a man's thumb in your socket? Words cannot describe the pain. Despite how strong I have become, all it did for me in the end was keep me conscious the entire time I was held up, like my skull was a screaming bowling ball. I still recall the memory sometimes in my dreams." He shook his head. "And you know what? Because of that, I am constantly terrified of how bad it can get for everyone else. What would they have to suffer at the hands of people who are hunting the man who did this to me?"

Sakura grimaced as she mentally came up with a few very possible scenarios and slowly let the boy down. Honestly, she couldn't blame him for what he was doing, given what he had been through.

Damn it. This was why she hated being stuck in morally grey areas. This was something that Naruto or Sasuke was good at dealing with, not her.

Letting out a long sigh, Sakura let Neji's feet touch the ground but still held him in her grip. "… Log help me… Listen to me well, Neji Hyūga." She started off slowly. "Against everything I have been taught and had beaten into me by every medical teacher I've had, I am going to let you go on this. I will not tell Tsunade-sama, Hinata, or anyone else about what you are trying to make. As far as I am concerned, it doesn't exist." Her grip tightened again. "However, so help you if I even suspect you of using it on one of our friends or anyone else in the village. I will do things to you that would make Akatsuki the least of your problems, AFTER I rip out your other prized eye with my bare hands. Do I make myself clear?"

"Perfectly." Neji nodded with a dry and weak smile. "I would be rather concerned for all our sakes if you didn't react as such."

"Tch." Sakura clicked her teeth and roughly let go of him. "Honestly, after what I just saw you do, I don't even want to bother trying to figure out the damn details of your technique or where the hell you got the idea for it." She looked at him warily. "You DO realize that you can't hide the results of that technique from Hinata forever…"

Frozen in place at what Sakura had just pointed out, the elder teen had just begun to frantically attempt to figure out a way to lessen the collateral of that inevitable event when a sensation shot down his and Sakura's spine. "Sakura… did you…?" He asked warily as he turned to look in the direction the sensation was coming from while activating his remaining Byakugan from underneath his headband.

"Yeah." The pinkette nodded as she looked in the same direction. "But something seems off…"

"Off?" The Hyūga snorted almost bitterly as he saw the sky around Konoha slowly become saturated with chakra. "You're going to have to be a bit more specific than that."

"Neji, since when does any of the Ōgakari announce their arrival this long before they enter the village? Better yet, since when does Ghost-sensei actually let his chakra become this easy to detect?" The medic frowned as she jumped towards the main gates.

o. o. o.

Thirty minutes later, Sakura landed at her destination to find that she obviously wasn't the first one to feel the disturbance. A good number of sensors and shinobi that were well accustomed to the Ōgakari's Presence were standing there and looking at one another warily.

"Ah, Sakura. It's been a while." Hiruzen smiled gently in his casual robes while sitting on a nearby bench. "I take it you are here for the same reason we are."

"Mm." The pinkette nodded as she saw Gai, Kakashi, Kin, Fū, Shikamaru, Ino and Chōji lingering around. Asuma, Sai, Tenten and Sasuke were off on a mission, so they probably wouldn't be showing up anytime soon. "Something feels… off."

"Indeed." The old man nodded. "I don't think it is anything we have to worry about, but it doesn't hurt to be safe…"

"Hello, Sakura-chan!" Lee shouted happily from behind the girl as if he had just teleported there, completely scaring her to no end and causing her to jump a good distance in the air. "How are you this youthful day?"

"Damn it, Lee!" The medic yelled angrily. "How many times have I told you to stop doing that? Find someone else to practice your stealth on!"

"On the contrary! It is because I can successfully come up behind the same experienced people constantly that I am certain that my skills are improving!" The taijutsu specialist smiled proudly with a far too shiny smile.

Hiruzen chuckled lightly. "He does have a point, you know. Approaching those who are on guard undetected is a very difficult thing to do. You have improved greatly, Lee. You deserve to wear that vest of yours."

The boy bowed deeply. "Thank you very much, Hokage-sama! Your words of praise are more than what I deserve!"

The old man shook his head and smiled. "Calm down, Lee. I'm retired now. Please don't be so formal and put me on such a high pedestal." He looked at Gai, who was talking to Kin and a recently arriving Neji. "Though… I believe that if you truly wanted to test your stealth, you would focus more on those who possess sensory abilities… like the Byakugan…"

Sooner than Sakura could blink, the green boy wonder had disappeared in a mix of speed, stealth and fluency, somehow blending in with the local populace almost instantly without catching anyone's attention. "Wha… wow…" She mused. "I don't know what's more impressive, Hokage-sama. Lee's progress, or your ability to get rid of him so easily…"

"The boy works hard to improve what little he has." The old monkey sighed as he watched the boy maneuver his way around his teammates like a shark in the water, though he was fairly certain that Gai had managed to detect the boy's actions in the process. "Give him a challenge, and he will bite onto it in an instant and never let go." He looked at the girl with a hint of steel in his eyes. "So, tell me. What can you determine from the current situation?"

Sitting next to her elder, the smartest member of Team Seven sighed and closed her eyes. "I don't know. I doubt it's an emergency, since they would normally just pop up in our rooms and hint as much. I don't think it's them showing off either, since they try to do that by out maneuvering everyone, not by blasting their powers. If they wanted to be left alone, they'd just sneak in without letting anyone know they were here." She scratched her head in confusion. "You think they might be angry about something?"

"Nah." Anko answered as she and Hana appeared suddenly behind to the two. "This doesn't feel like Ghost being pissed. The air would be unnaturally calm if he was."

"Yeah." Hana nodded. "Believe it or not, he's pretty easy to read emotionally if you pay attention to how the air is moving when he's nearby. If anything, this feels like him being horrifically lazy."

"Lazy?" Sakura raised an eyebrow. "But how? We can't even see him, but we can feel his power as if he's focusing all his chakra into the air."

The three adults looked at one another for several seconds before they seemed to have come to a conclusion. "I believe we have an idea of why he is doing this…" Hiruzen started slowly. "But if it is the case, it may raise more questions than we have right now. I believe it would be best if we just waited." The old man smiled kindly to the two new arrivals. "So how are you two lovely young ladies doing this fine day? I have heard much about your exploits and missions as of late."

"Pretty good actually." Anko grinned happily. "Ever since Hana and I got promoted, we've been busy doing high level missions all over the place. Since we're such a damn good team, we get sent out together a lot to help the hunter teams track and take down B-ranked missing-nin." She began to squeal and her eyes sparkled. "We've gotten so much cash lately! I've been able to get so many nice things that I've had my eyes on for a while! I've renovated my shitty apartment into a better one, and I have better dango and oil for my summons and jutsu scrolls and access to classified information and legal immunity from being punished for minor violent episodes in public and poisons and toys both for work and fun and both and…"

"As you can see, Anko's pretty much on cloud nine." Hana smiled tiredly while petting one of her triplets.

"You seem to not be." Hiruzen observed. "I thought that you would be able to get more rest with the Ōgakari away."

"So did I." Hana sighed. "But since I'm a jōnin, apparently one of the best medics in the village, the best shinobi animal vet in the village, and Anko's retainer, I've been more than a bit busy lately. I haven't had a solid night's sleep in weeks."

"Heheh… and if things go as planned, we shall not have one for the next week either." Anko chuckled eagerly and evilly as she rubbed her hands together.

"Anko, I swear to the Log, if you even think about breaking out any of the heavy duty toys that seem to have a mind of their own before I get my massage and power nap, I will make it so that you won't be able to feel your libido for said entire week." The Inuzuka growled dangerously.

"Kill joy." The snake summoner pouted.

"Not to interrupt a conversation that most likely should not be held in the vicinity of impressionable children, but I think I see them." Sakura noted (while trying to ignore the Third Hokage attempting to cover up the fact that his nose was bleeding), as she pointed down the road outside the village.

Sure enough, the unmistakable figures of Waltz and Crypt were visible as they stumbled out of the woods fairly close to the gates of the village… only…

"Well, that can't be good." Kakashi frowned as he had a look at them, getting a silent nod from everyone else there.

All the males were for all intents and purposes shirtless, as their remaining clothes were torn to shreds, revealing a majority of their upper bodies and a good portion of their lower bodies as well. Thankfully, their pants were still intact where it mattered. All of the bodies there were littered with dozens if not hundreds of half healed cuts, bruises, burns, welts and other injuries, and those were only the ones they could see.

One would particularly note that Waltz, despite his old age, was by far the most muscular individual that anyone had ever seen. Gai was ripped. Kisame was ripped. The Raikage was extremely ripped.

Waltz? It wouldn't be far from the truth to say that his body was chiseled from the finest stone ever found, by an artist that knew exactly what the ideal human embodiment of physical power should look like, and then threw in a few dozen slash and burn scars in for a bit of extra flair to show that the person who owned such a body had risked his life to obtain it. Not a wrinkle existed outside of the old man's face and hands. Even merely looking at his bare upper body caused many there to shiver at the power it seemed to exude just by exposing itself to the outside world and existing…

Oddly enough, the owner of said chiseled body was swaying and stumbling the most, as if he was partially delirious, followed by a somewhat calm and slouched over Crypt…

Needless to say all the males there, Gai in particular, felt extremely jealous and insecure for more than a few seconds. All the females there were staring as well, but for obviously different reasons… until they noticed what the old man was carrying.

Ghost was hanging limply over the old man's shoulder's like a sack of potatoes, the two long scars on his back visible for everyone to see and seemingly no life coming from his figure. No witty banter. No humorous twitching. Nothing.

"Hey, it's those guys that we are doing the stuff with for the thing!" Waltz cheered blearily, yet happily as he saw everyone staring at him. "Hey guys!"

"Oh dear lord, he's acting like Crypt." Shikamaru paled considerably, saying pretty much what was on everyone's minds. "We are all doomed."

"Oi! I am not acting like Crypt!" The old man roared loudly as he stumbled towards the group. "For your information, I am merely drunk off my wrinkly old ass!" He paused before letting out a loud belch that would cause Tazuna to give him a standing ovation. "Besides, if anything, I'm acting like Shadow!"

"For fuck's sake, shut up already." Crypt snapped in a surprisingly sane and irritated tone. "This hangover is killing me, and your voice isn't helping. God, it's like I'm standing next to one of Scab's modified subwoofers all over again, only instead of shooting exploding shotgun shells, it smells like ass."

Everyone from Konoha blinked and stared in silence even longer now as they realized that Crypt was speaking like a semi-normal human being for once.

"What?" Waltz blinked as he stopped in front of everyone before looking at the tattered remains of his clothing. "Are my clothes so torn up that I'm breaking public decency laws again? Because if that's the case, I was just going to go home anyways."

"… Waltz-dono…" Hiruzen started slowly. "We can't help but worry about your current condition and state of mind. You are all fairly wounded, exhausted looking and, well… Crypt is making sense…"

"No shit, Sherlock." The normally insane man grunted sourly. "Do you mind going away? We just came back from one of the largest fights we've had in a while and one of the most alcohol infused victory slash memorial parties in a while right after that, so it's no surprise that we're all a bit more off kilter than normal." He clicked his teeth in irritation and glared at Ghost. "Lucky bastard. I was stuck dealing with guarding and fixing the stupid seal while he was having fun killing the army and fighting a bloody Elder God! Do you know how rare it is for those guys to actually get off their asses and try to kill us?" He arched his head to the sky. "Why the hell couldn't I have fought it?!"

"Because it would have killed you, hands down?" Waltz answered skeptically before a lethal look from Crypt told him otherwise. "Well, you did ask why…" He muttered sheepishly before hiccupping. "I had too many appletinis."

Fū, being at the back of the group, began to shiver as she listened to the Nanabi yell at her frantically. "An Elder God is _what?"_ She whispered out loud in shock and disbelief. "You mean to tell me those things can… and that guy actually killed… how could they… yeah, like a crapton of fire can do something like… oh excuse me, a crapton of _special_ fire can… and you believe… and they… their dragon is one _too?"_

"So… I'm guessing that Ghost is like that because he is rather exhausted from whatever the hell you got yourselves stuck in." Shikamaru noted as he looked at the unconscious man over Waltz' shoulder, his hair undone and hanging towards the ground and his body covered in scars, bruises and cuts… that seemed to be changing and warping in and out of existence all the time. "… This may be a bad time to ask, but why are his wounds changing?"

The old man blinked before looking at his unconscious family member. "Oh, that? Yeah, well, that sometimes happens when he gets completely wiped out. Time-space manipulation and event delay techniques and all that stuff."

He paused for a moment as the entirety of Ghost's right arm, shoulder and back altered to look like his body had just been turned into a thrashed and mangled deep purple string of chopped meat, barely resembling parts of a human body, before phasing out of view to show normally wounded body parts and leaving everyone gaping in surprise and disgust. "Ah… right… forgot about that one."

"What… the hell was that?" Anko gulped, her good mood all gone by the sudden injury coming and going out of existence.

"Brother has a few techniques that aren't exactly healthy to use." Crypt yawed, clearly not at all disturbed by the body horror that his sibling had momentarily been experiencing. "They do a stupid amount of damage on whatever he uses it on, but obviously, it's just as damaging to his own body as well. On the plus side, due to using them so many times, he has a horrifically high tolerance for pain when he actually decides to ignore it."

"Unhealthy?" Ino gaped in disbelief. "Having a rivalry with the floor is unhealthy! Eating tons of junk food every day is unhealthy! Temporarily losing your sanity and attempting to obtain a male harem is unhealthy! Whatever THAT was is NOT unhealthy, it's SUICIDAL!"

Only the adults there and the students who had their memories back managed to catch Hana and Anko wince slightly at that declaration.

"I'm agreeing with Ino on this one." Chōji shivered. "I mean, there are a lot of dangerous moves out there, but that… that wasn't right. To have your muscles in that condition means that you must have delivered a blow with so much force from inside and outside of your body that it caused every muscle and bone used to transfer that kind of energy to practically explode. My clan has pictures of it happening to people who tried to use our techniques without proper conditioning and training… and those wounds looked like that…"

"He's right." Gai nodded knowingly. "I've seen something similar happen before with people whose bodies were not conditioned properly before opening the higher level gates. Their muscles had either self-destructed from the strain of the power they put themselves under, or their bones shattered when they hit their target with more force than they could handle." He eyed Ghost warily. "What concerns me the most is that a technique that creates such a strong recoil is not something that would match his fighting style, or even body type. I am stuck between wondering what sort of opponent would require him to utilize such a self-destructive technique, how he is able to perform one so thoroughly destructive to his own body in the first place, and how he is even alive after using it."

Crypt shrugged. "Meh. Time-space techniques are useful like that. Storing away the damage and slowing down the rate at which it returns to your body is easily possible if you know how to use them correctly."

"It makes for great drinking games though." The elder grinned. "For every near lethal or crippling wound pointed out, everyone drinks a shot. Alcohol blackouts two, seven and fourteen were from playing it. Ahh. Good times."

"Three, five and twelve for me." The scythe wielder scratched the back of his head with a grin on his face. "Of course, his techniques doesn't do anything to deal with the pain from the wounds, but like I said before, Ghost's tolerance for pain is stupid considering his body can't really take a hit. He's a sadomasochist that way, even if he claims to be a sadist like me."

"The only competent people we know of that are even close to being as sadistic as you are Alucard, Anderson, Kyo, and the Night of Wallachia." Waltz yawned tiredly.

"I know." Crypt grinned so sadistically that his mouth unnaturally stretched to his eyes in a perfect semicircle. "We had a hell of a time fucking around with the stragglers after everyone realized that the battle was ours… cowards tried to free the prick and expect to just walk away after they realized they couldn't do it anymore…"

"I'm more surprised that you actually went for the stragglers. Normally you ignore them 'cause you hate going after the dregs that have no will to fight anymore. I was wondering why there was so much screaming in the distance when things were supposed to be calming down." The old man sighed, ignoring everyone shivering at Crypt's momentary display of joyous bloodlust.

"As much as we enjoy hearing about your… exploits…" Hiruzen coughed, obviously trying to steer the conversation towards something more pleasant. "It does appear that Ghost-san is quite injured, as are the rest of you. Shouldn't you be heading to the hospital to be healed?"

Waltz shifted the man on his shoulder. "Ah, don't worry about it. All we need now is a few day's rest and I can take care of the rest of our injuries no problem. As for Ghost, he'll be fine enough to control his powers when he wakes up. Judging from his life signs, he should finally be up in about…" He frowned for a moment before punching his patient in the head with his free arm. "Thirty six hours."

"… Is there any reason why you possibly gave your heavily injured family member a concussion just now?" Kakashi asked warily.

"Of course!" Waltz smiled. "He was originally going to wake in about twelve hours, but _everyone_ knows that correctly predicting when a comatose person wakes up is _far_ more impressive when the time predicted is more than a full day." He puffed out his massively muscular chest proudly. "Trust me on this. I'm a doctor."

"As soon as I get back to Tsunade, I am going to make a village law that absolutely prohibits anyone from serving alcohol to Waltz. Under penalty of death." Hiruzen stated out loud, getting nods from everyone there.

"God, I am so fucking high right now." Crypt moaned to the sky.

"And to always allow Crypt Ōgakari to smoke marijuana." The old man added instantly.

"Isn't it illegal to smoke weed in the Land of Fire?" Neji asked warily.

"Tsunade-sama's been looking for a big enough excuse to get it allowed for medical purposes, and I think we just found one." Sakura answered factually.

"Is it wrong for me to be absolutely terrified of going to the doctor now? Because I am." Anko shivered uncontrollably.

Kin remained silent before shrugging. "Eh. Still beats Orochimaru's medical staff."

Kakashi coughed sheepishly, gaining everyone's attention. "Getting back onto semi important subjects… you guys do realize that you will most likely have to explain why you left so suddenly to the council and Hokage-sama. You two." He pointed at the conscious members of the Ōgakari. "Left Mizu without telling almost anyone during an important diplomatic mission, and he…" He pointed at the only unconscious one there. "Along with Shadow caused our dealings with Han and Iwa to become even worse when you had that little argument of yours."

Waltz looked around sheepishly. "Yes, well… the thing is… this is one of those things where if we told you the truth, no one would believe us…" He bowed his head in shame. "And it's a sad thing, too…" He then raised his head proudly. "For this magnificent tale of which you will never hear the details of would surely be the source of hundreds of epic songs and stories that you would have passed onto generations for its diverse cast, beautiful environments, well scripted dialogs, musical guests, and perfectly trained gophers!"

WHAM!

"In a nutshell, what we did is so overkill and nuts you won't believe us… but it was big, things blew up, lots of people and things died, even more rules of physics were broken, some of said rules were rewritten, Ghost duked it out with the enemy general, I found a quarter, there were many bitches, alcohols, and weeds to be had in the victory party, and Ghost missed said party because he's wiped out and has been in a coma for about three weeks. End story." Crypt stated in a blunt tone after hitting Waltz on the back of the head with the back side of the Third Fang.

"Three weeks?" Hana shouted as she and Anko looked at their boyfriend worriedly. "But… his body is completely relaxed! He should have at least recovered enough to regain consciousness considering…" She paused before looking at the other two immortals in the eyes. "That means, well, you know! His body is relaxed!"

"Let me just restate the fact that the thing he fought was a major ball buster." Crypt sulked, not at all caring about his brother's condition. "One that I WANTED TO FIGHT!"

"And it would have killed you, dumbass." Waltz grumbled. "Even you know better than to take on an Elder by yourself without preparing the battleground to your absolute advantage, and even then, your odds of winning are at best around one out of twenty."

"Question." Kakashi raised his hand without looking up from his book. "If you have been partying for the past three weeks, why are your injuries and clothes still in the condition of just coming back from said battle?"

The two immortals looked at one another for a moment before turning back at the group and shrugging. "Forgot to change, I guess." Waltz answered. "It really was one hell of a party. I can barely remember anything about it really. Wouldn't be surprised if we did change, were treated for injuries, and this is simply from the celebrating."

"Wouldn't be the first time." Crypt grinned. "At least no one stole our organs this time. By the way, great job with the arm wrestling while assaulting one another with trout competition. I made a killing betting on you."

"No one can compete with my seafood weaponry skills!" Waltz shouted and holding his arms up in the air while holding Ghost by one leg… before hiccupping and belching out a blue flame on the unconscious man's back. "… Whoops…"

"You know, blatant insanity aside." Kin sighed as she ignored the two conscious Ōgakari males, Hana, and Anko ran to put out the flames on Ghost. "Considering they left in such a rush and the condition they're in, I'm surprised that they are still so completely care free. I mean, if I was covered in that many cuts, I would at least want to get to a good enough medic to get healed by now."

"Just ignore their antics for now." Gai frowned. "Odds are it's their way of coping with stress. It just so happens they have more than they would like to admit to anyone."

"I'm more concerned as to what could possibly give them so many injuries." Chōji added. "Given how strong they can be when they want to, whatever they fought must have been ridiculously tough."

"I'd rather not know." Neji frowned. "Honestly, I'd feel safer if I didn't."

"Question." Kin spoke up. "Has anyone ever actually seen someone use blue fire before? Better yet… has anyone ever seen an Ōgakari use fire before?"

Kakashi shrugged as he eyed the potent fire slowly dying down. Now that he paid attention, he noticed that he could actually feel the heat from where he was standing despite the fact that the fire itself was tiny and he was a fair distance away. "I've heard that the jinchūriki for the two tailed cat can use blue fire, but she's in Kumo to my knowledge. Normally when most fire techniques are overcharged, they turn white. Sarutobi-sama can attest to that. There are of course exceptions, but normally people stick to the standard colored flames."

"As for the Ōgakari…" Hiruzen continued. "Well, you could say it's a clan secret of theirs. I don't know the details, but all the males of the clan possess special fires that have unique and dangerous properties. Unfortunately, I only have vague guesses as to what they are, so I cannot say any more than that." He frowned. "Trying to get them to talk about their fire is actually one of the few ways that I am certain can gain you their animosity, so I highly recommend against bringing it up in conversation."

"Hokage-sama!" Several ANBU appeared near the old man. "We have heard of several reports of a large chakra source nearby and…" They paused and looked at Anko launching several snakes at Waltz. "Ah… I see…" The masked man stated dumbly, not knowing what to say next.

"Please tell everyone involved that we have the situation under control." Hiruzen sighed… only to realize that everyone was staring at him disbelievingly.

"I see a twitch! He's still alive! Huzzah!"

The ex-Hokage wept comically. "… You know what I mean."

o. o. o.

It seemed as if the more things had changed, the more they had stayed the same since the incident with the escaped prisoners, otherwise known as the Han incident, six months ago.

On the one hand, things on the surface seemed to be pretty calm. Missions were going in and out of the villages like clockwork. Everyone was either out doing missions, training, or hanging out with their teams and families. There hadn't been any MOUSes (Missions Of Unusual Scales), much to everyone's relief, and since a majority of the Ōgakari and Naruto had been out of the village doing their own thing, the amount of random chaos inside the village was at the lowest level it had been in years.

On the other hand though, things were worse than they appeared. Konoha and Iwa were all but officially engaged in a cold wark, and everyone knew it. The relations between the two villages had progressed as well as they could have given the circumstances, but with Iwa and its hosting government consisting of extraordinarily prideful individuals (as opposed to the mere annoyingly prideful individuals that inhabited every other government), negotiations on how to proceed became progressively complicated.

While Iwa was technically responsible for this incident given that it was their prisoners that got loose and caused most of the trouble, and despite the fact that a good number of those from the Land of Fire wanted to downplay the incident as much as they could in order to prevent things from getting worse, it didn't change the fact that one of Iwa's jinchūriki went nuts in the Land of Fire, tried to kill a large number of important Konoha shinobi, and that he was at the very least held off by Konoha's jinchūriki, who was still just a kid. The ramifications on both ends were just too large to downplay lest both villages lose face in front of everyone else.

While the details would make things worse for Iwa and the Land of Earth, the situation alone was enough to cause the nobles there to be extremely irate not only at their shinobi but at Konoha as well. This of course caused problems for Iwa, which in turn caused many of the people in the village to place their blame on Konoha's populace and so on and so forth.

Ōnoki seemed to be one of the few there that realized how bad the situation could get at the moment and was trying to beat reason into those at home, but it was slow going. There had already been several minor conflicts between the forces of the two villages already. Nothing major that couldn't be swept under the rug as an accidental conflict of missions, but it was enough that rumors were starting to get out.

Thankfully, due to some quick politicking on Hiruzen's and Scabbard's parts, full blown hostility had not only been avoided, but they had also managed to get Kiri and Kumo to announce their neutrality in any related conflicts in order to maintain peace and the status quo. Suna was already allied with Konoha and had a grudge against Iwa as well, so if anything, they acted as a deterrent to prevent the Stone from trying anything excessive. It didn't help Iwa's case that Konoha was on better terms with most of the nearby smaller countries than they were either.

The end result was a stalemate. Everyone expected Konoha and Suna to just stay their ground since neither village actually wanted to start another bout so soon after the Chūnin Exam debacle, even if they technically got out of it with the smallest of possible injuries. Konoha's access to the Northwestern lands and accompanying missions was horrifically limited, and likewise, Iwa's access to the South and Southeastern lands was also stagnated. All in all, it was up to Iwa to decide if the next shinobi war started or if everyone would be left holding their breaths for the next two decades.

"I thought things were supposed to get easier this time around." Tsunade grumbled as she walked through the Hokage's building with Shizune and a small horse sized Zuzushi.

" **Humph."** The dragon snorted. **"Humans are so simple and amusing that way. Send them back in time to a point before things go bad, and they all assume that no matter what they do, things cannot possibly turn out worse than what happened before, and that all the moves they make are the correct ones."**

"Can you please not do your whole 'humans are insignificant idiots' thing for the moment?" Shizune asked tiredly. "Believe it or not, we do care about how things turn out in the next few years."

" **So do I. It would be a shame if nothing interesting happened before my servant and his student returned from their trip."** Zuzushi's pink eye focused on the assistant, causing her to shiver and look away. **"Boredom is after all one of the greatest enemies an immortal can have."**

"Is that why you dive bombed your three retainers when you first arrived here and knocked them unconscious in a crater ten meters wide?" Tsunade asked with a deadpanned look.

" **Somewhat. I also did it for petty revenge and because I enjoy causing them pain."** The eldest one there replied factually. **"However, you make it sound as if I did not suffer from my minor frivolous act in return…"** The dragon lifted her wings slightly and exposed more of her body to the Sannin to show hundreds of deep scratches on her hide that were in the process of healing. **"You are lucky that no one unsavory had approached Ghost when he was unconscious save for me and his new mates. His abilities tend to act automatically on anyone that his body doesn't instantly recognize as someone trustworthy when he is unconscious."**

The brunette blinked in curiosity. "You mean despite the fact that you are a supposed god, you can still be hurt?"

" **Of course."** Zuzushi snorted. **"Even gods are not immune to everything. However, in order for a human to be able to harm one of us without some sort of aid or artifact, they must of course be trained appropriately, be strong enough to affect us… and be as fundamentally twisted as us to obtain the best results."**

An instant later, Shizune was in limbo. She felt magenta. She tasted loud. The fantastic side of her body was drawing echoes conversing with chairs while her clothes fused to the left side of her organs, praising the endless microbes in her scalp for their work sustaining the life force of the videos she took in class when she was in a hypothesis seeing into the forever and…

Just as suddenly as all the chaotic meshed thoughts flooded her body, she found herself back in the world of the understandable, still looking at the dragon making eye contact with her.

" **Well, girl? Are you willing to bet that you are as strong and as twisted as a god?"**

"N-No Ma'am!" Shizune fumbled over her tongue, quickly trying to remember how her body worked as it shivered horrifically in fear. "I-I prefer to stay on my level of sanity, thank you very much! Please don't play with my brain again!"

" **Heheheh. Silly child. I wasn't playing with your brain."** The dragon chuckled as the group approached Tsunade's office. **"I was merely… breathing, for lack of a better term… on your very existence. Very softly. There is a fundamental difference. One requires me to put in a sliver of effort."**

"Regardless of what you did, can you not do it again please?" Tsunade frowned as she opened the door to her office. "I need her sane to help me out with my job. Lord knows I only have handful of people who fit that qualification in this village."

" **Eight thousand, four hundred and thirty seven sane individuals exist here. Seven hundred and eighty two are shinobi."** Zuzushi answered as she walked into the room. **"Give or take, of course. You'd be surprised how frequently humans phase in and out of the behavioral standards they consider sanity. Not bad, considering you have roughly fifty thousand humans in this village. Twenty two thousand, three hundred and seven active shinobi; four thousand, one hundred and seventeen retired or crippled shinobi; the remains are either simple civilians or children that have yet to undergo training. Then there are of course the sleeper agents and spies lying around, but that goes without saying…"**

"Are you trying to make me hate my job?" The Senju growled as she sat in her chair behind her desk.

" **You are a leader."** The dragon snorted as she sat on the ground in front of the desk. **"You are supposed to be at best indifferent to it, lest the euphoria of doing it cloud your mind and make you do something stupid and kill everyone under you. Humans tend to do that far too often to be reliant on designated superiors from what I've seen, unless they are blessed, gifted, have over two hundred years of productive experience, or are unnaturally lucky."**

"But no pressure." Tsunade rolled her eyes sarcastically and pretended to ignore the crack about her luck before getting down to business again. "So now that your family is back, we will have to talk about some things. Is there a way that your… underlings, can participate in the conversation?"

" **I have a mental link to all of them, but it would be best to limit it to Shadow and Scabbard. Ghost is still unconscious, Waltz is resting, and Crypt is not high off his ass anymore."** The dragon explained without hesitation.

"Right. Also, for future reference, please never tell me of any stories of Gods getting stoned. I don't think my sanity can take it." The Hokage asked politely.

"Me too." Shizune shivered, still not completely recovered from Zuzushi playing with her very existence.

" **You guessed correctly. The ganja my kind smokes is far beyond what human kind could hope to handle, as are the stories…"** The largest one there stated, clearly amused by the results of her whimsical playing on others. **"Now, back to the matters that are important to you."**

"You're enjoying this far too much." Tsunade's eyebrow twitched before taking a relaxing deep breath. "I've been holding off on talking about our current situation for a while, but it really has gotten to the point that I must ask you for help. The situation with Iwa is degenerating rapidly, and to avoid a war that will weaken everyone to Akatsuki, I am asking you for advice."

Zuzushi remained silent for several moments before letting out a brief chuckle. **"You are asking for guidance instead of interference. That is wise of you, young one. Most humans that approach my kind often do so for knowledge, power, or blessings. Petty things that are beyond what they can possibly obtain in their brief lives, exchanged for being eternally indebted to the one they performed the deal with. Still…"** Her eyes flashed hungrily. **"There is an issue with your request. While what you ask for can indeed be paid for in time, there unfortunately is nothing from your world I desire in particular other than the amusement of watching the events to come. Events that will come to pass regardless of what I tell you. I am far from a prideful existence when compared to my kin, but I do possess some standards. My services are never for free…"**

"What?" Shizune gasped. "But… but after everything you've already…"

"Shizune!" Tsunade barked without taking her eyes off of the dragon. "She is right. We aren't dealing with some stupid politician, businessman, or even someone from our plane of existence. We are dealing with something that we cannot fully understand or argue against, and thus we have to be careful, especially when bartering." She closed her eyes and breathed out slowly. "So what about your 'servants'? What do they have to say on the matter?"

" **Without hesitation, you go for a possible loophole in my statement. How competent of you."** Zuzushi stated amusedly. **"My container doesn't care much about what happens. Like myself, so long as this conflict of yours possesses an entertaining story and continues to promise it, she will do nothing but train the hatchlings until they reach a point where any further progress will leave the audience wanting. In fact, she finds a possible war with Iwa in the future to be quite intriguing given the current circumstances."** The dragon paused to scratch herself with the tip of her tail. **"As for my most intellectual servant… he seems slightly more willing to aid you, but in his own way."**

"Meaning?" Tsunade asked through grit teeth. She was beginning to see why the Ōgakari warned that their presence did not guarantee a positive future, and that they were at heart a neutral party at best in the coming conflicts. In all honesty, she wondered if this was what it was like for a jinchūriki to deal with their tenant all the time. Something that speaks their language, but runs by completely different logic.

" **Meaning it would be best to leave him to his devices and not ask what he is doing."** The dragon yawned. **"No doubt he has already considered several thousand possible approaches to the situation and is approaching it in the most appropriate manner. Whether or not your petty war of pride will still occur is still to be seen, but at least your collateral should be significantly reduced."**

"You mean human lives." Shizune frowned.

" **Tomayto, tomaato."** Zuzushi rolled her eyes. **"The existence of life is indeed a miracle in itself, but its significance in the end is horrifically blown out of proportion in the grand scheme of things. Five universes with septillions of sentient lives in each one exist side by side, unaware of one another. One gets destroyed for one reason or another, and the other four continue their lethargic existences regardless."** She stared at the Hokage and her assistant with boredom. **"Keep in mind, we are aiding you. Just not as much as you would like."**

"H-how cruel." Shizune shivered as she backed up from the guest. "Tsunade-sama?"

The Hokage gripped her fists tightly and grit her teeth before taking a few breaths to calm down. This was not the first time she had been looked down upon by someone stronger than her, and it would not be the last, but rarely had she been forced to feel so helpless. "I see. Do… Do the rest of your servants share the same thoughts? If I understand correctly, they were all normal humans at one point." She asked stiffly.

" **Whether they wish to agree with it or not is not something that matters. Should you have experienced what they have, you too would no doubt harbor similar feelings."** Zuzushi replied. **"Though… In order to maintain what remains of their humanity and completely prevent themselves from caring about others, they have started what you could consider an organization. It has been mentioned on occasion before. The Family."**

"I remember it being mentioned occasionally in passing." The blonde woman frowned. "I assume it is some sort of gang or club?"

She yawned. **"It is more like a collection of individuals with great potential that still desire to be active after their role in their own universe is completed. In its own distorted way, you could consider them an actual family in and of themselves, only with no land, history, or foolish ideological goals to cloud their judgment. It is quite impressive. It is a moderately large group that monitors and explores the multiverse at their leisure while promoting stability and chaos when needed. Quite an ingenious and interesting founding premise if I do say so myself."**

Realization dawned on Tsunade. "Y-you mean for us to join your group."

" **Perhaps. Depending on how well you develop, we may consider you, but on average, only at most a dozen or so individuals per world are allowed to join."** Her eyes narrowed. **"That is, of course, if you pass the qualifications."**

"And what would these qualifications be?" Shizune asked warily.

" **A proof of competence and reliability."** The dragon answered. **"All Family members trust one another without exception when their lives are on the line. Everyone must have faith in not only their capabilities, but all the other's as well. None are dead weight. None are useless. None have weak wills. We must have proof that they can not only stand on their own without others worrying about their safety or doing something that will harm the others, but that we can entrust to them tasks that are important to us should the time come."**

Tsunade's eyes widened considerably as she understood what Zuzushi was implying before calming down and donning a business like attitude. "… I see." She frowned. "It seems apologies are in order. You are far more careful and thorough than I had originally assumed."

" **We do not trust the management of our problems with those who cannot handle their own. It is simple reasoning that even a human child can understand."** Zuzushi stated the fact bluntly.

The Hokage smiled dryly. "Heh. Well, when you put it like that, I can't really argue against you." She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath of air to calm herself. "And what of the universes that these members come from?"

" **Any universe that spawned a Family member is under my jurisdiction and immune from any other major multiversal power's influence."** The dragon stated before putting a sharp smile. **"Well, so long as the universe is still around when they are inaugurated, at least. There have been a few unfortunate accidents and naturally horrific worlds that we have come across on occasion…"**

"I'm not even going to bother asking what you mean by that." Tsunade grumbled under her breath before a terrifying thought came across her mind. "So does this mean after this whole Madara issue is taken care of, we will occasionally be getting more visitors from other worlds? That trying to save our very world is just the equivalent of a minor test to you?"

"Please say no." Shizune wept. "Tsunade-sama and I have enough trouble keeping you guys out of jail."

" **Yes, but it would only be on occasion, and most likely after my servants leave. Also, keep in mind that all Family members are at the very least experienced dimension jumpers, so they would at the very least pass as residents of this world."** The dragon yawned. **"Believe it or not, we do in fact know and practice subtlety to high degrees… save for Scabbard."**

She paused for a moment as if she was listening to someone else talk. **"Don't even try to deny it, servant. You always manage to… I know very well what happened then… You went on a planet killing spree with a black anti-matter sub particle satellite cannon and Slash Emperor. TWICE. And that was BEFORE that stunt when you combined Schrodinger with your flames and… you are fully aware that they are still trying to stabilize sections of the Multiverse from that… don't you dare get me started on the Mime God incident again…"**

"Don't say anything, Shizune." Tsunade whispered to her assistant. "I don't think you would be able to handle another assault on your metaphysical existence today."

"Yes, Tsunade-sama." The youngest female there wept comically.

A sudden knock at the door snapped everyone in the room out of what they were doing. "Tsunade-sama. Danzō-sama has come to talk to you. He says it's urgent."

The humans in the room looked at one another warily before turning to the dragon, who merely yawned again, walked to the side of the room, and curled up on the floor. Moments later, her body began to dissipate like it was made of gas. **"By all means, let him in. You both look like you could do with an annoyance you can actually manage right now. Do not worry. I shall remain quiet like the beast that fool no doubt thinks I am."**

Suppressing a massive headache, Tsunade groaned. "Let him in."

"Tsunade-hime." The wrapped man spoke politely as he closed the door behind him.

"What is it, Danzō? I'm fairly busy, as you can tell, and I want to get smashed early tonight to get a head start on when the Ōgakari start screwing things up again." The Hokage grumbled, going over another random document on her desk.

The man frowned before looking around. "I was told that their… familiar was in the room with you."

"I told Zuzushi to leave when I was told you were coming. You were never comfortable with any of them in the same room as you." The leader looked at him bored. "Just tell me what you want already."

"Actually, my reasons for coming here involved them." The old man stated without missing a beat or showing any hesitation.

"No. We aren't going to kick them out." The woman sighed as if she was reading from a script and drank some tea. "No, Naruto is still going to stay out of the village on a training trip with Ghost for several years. Yes, they are still allowed to conduct individual business with the villagers and other clans as an individual company, so long as they give us the correct paperwork. No, we can't keep Crypt on a leash, even if it's covered in seals. No, I am not going to prohibit them from continuing their business with other countries so long as it doesn't involve village secrets…"

"I believe we should use them against Iwa as a preemptive strike force." The inflexible man stated calmly, causing both females to pause and look at him warily.

Putting down her papers slowly, Tsunade began to filter her body of the alcohol she had drank previously in order to think at full capacity. "Danzō. Things have not degenerated to the point of war. They have yet to even degenerate to the point of open hostilities yet. Using any forces that could be linked to us would no doubt cause a war…"

"And them _conveniently_ having their rogue jinchūriki target us was not?" Danzō grunted. "We both know that each one of those outsiders has immensely potent abilities and power, and yet we have been wasting that potential on meager tasks and allowing them to do as they wish. It is time we used them for something productive for once. Make the smart one steal their secrets. Make the childish assassin kill their leaders. Make the fool terrify their forces. Make the jinchūriki and the elder destroy their village. Konoha has the power to conquer any single village without warning before any others can react with minimum casualties on its side with a single preemptive strike. The worst that can happen is Iwa losing significant power and we lose a minor clan that was too unstable to be relied upon."

"You forget that the Ōgakari have the right to turn down any mission that they do not wish to take, Danzō." The Senju shot back. "They have also made it quite clear that they will not take part in any war Konoha engages in save for medical and rescue focused operations. This includes missions that could potentially cause said wars in the first place." She leaned back in her chair. "Besides, you have overlooked something critical."

"Do tell, Hime." Danzō asked sternly, not at all showing any more of his displeasure than he already had.

"You have forgotten that Iwa is a frequent employer of Akatsuki." The woman stated coldly. So far, the information had yet to go outside of those who were aware of the time travelling and the elders of Konoha, if only to keep the latter quiet about how serious the situation was, but it was vital none the less. "Should we reveal to everyone that we are utilizing abnormally powerful mercenaries to do missions that can possibly cripple other nations, said nations would then become more dependent on Akatsuki to counter them, as I have yet to find another group that can provide the same level of efficiency as the Ōgakari can. This would in turn make the true enemy far better supported by the international community, and thus make them harder to deal with, which is exactly what we DON'T want to happen."

"And how do you know that Akatsuki will not move after the other jinchūriki before your preparations are completed?" The scarred man questioned condescendingly.

"Steps have been taken to ensure that they will not move for at least another two and a half years." Tsunade confidently stated. "Since Iwa has seen firsthand that we possess mercenaries of our own that possess highly destructive capabilities when Ghost and Shadow had their little episode six months ago, they will at the very least want to stay their hand from anything that could start a war until Akatsuki allows itself to be used as such. They, unlike us, do not know that the Ōgakari will not fight in such a conflict, and as such will play it safe."

"Forgive me if I don't have confidence in your claim." The elder scoffed, though secretly admitting that what the woman in front of him said did have some merit.

"There is no need. I have had little confidence in your role as an adviser since I took office, so consider us even." The younger leader smiled dryly. "I've noticed that most of your ideas solve the initial issues at hand, but have a large possibility of getting the village into even larger long-term problems than it originally had in the first place."

"You are making a mistake." The Sharingan thief growled, losing his temper slightly. "Hiruzen's methods will not work this time, and when they do fail, we will be the ones to suffer for doing nothing, all while Iwa has been preparing for us to drop our guards."

"And you are more senile than I thought if you think I have dropped my guard just because I am focusing on a peaceful resolution to this situation." Tsunade snapped back. "I have made my own preparations in case things turn out the way I don't like, but unlike your impatient and childish methods, mine take more time to set up and do not involve senseless violence that will gain us the hatred of generations to come while possibly killing countless more. SOME of us actually do remember what my grandfather and grand uncle desired and had in mind when they created Konoha in the first place."

The war hawk's eye narrowed irritably. "Do not mistake my methods for being selfish, girl. Unlike you, I have never abandoned my home for selfish and petty reasons. Even now, I work tirelessly to ensure that any and all of Konoha's enemies never gain the momentum to pose a threat to us."

The Hokage remained quiet before words that were not her own came to her tongue. "Then in the event that Konoha is in actual danger instead of merely hearing of some stupid rumor, I should expect you to be the first raise your hand to defend it for once, instead of doing nothing like a coward."

The woman didn't know exactly why she had said what she did, and honestly, she personally thought that what she was originally going to say would have been more appropriate, but the sudden look of bewilderment, shock, and unequalled rage that had appeared on the normally stoic man's face made her ignore that thought in an instant. She personally had never seen the man react so strongly to anything she had said before, so in the end, who was she to question a good thing?

"I see that we are at an impasse." Danzō growled with barely restrained fury as he gripped his cane tightly. "I will concede for now, Tsunade, but do not assume for a second that I will accept your judgment as the correct path to take. While you sit here and binge our lives away, Iwa is no doubt amassing its forces to kill us all and destroy Konoha. If you do not show me evidence that you are doing something about it, then I will have to cover for you as I did for Hiruzen."

"I hope you don't." Tsunade's mouth ran on its own again as the man turned to leave. "Your covert activities are not as secret as you may think, Danzō. So much so that I would not be surprised if they had gained Konoha the ire of many known and unknown powerful forces in the shinobi world because of them." The woman once again took great satisfaction in the sudden stopping and stiffening of the elder in front of her.

"It would be irresponsible and shameful of us to place these burdens onto the shoulders of the next generation because the elder generations could not exercise even the most basic form of self-control. So please leave, while I play the role of the responsible adult and deal with the problems that YOU started for Konoha in the first place." She grinned wryly. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you are technically a greater threat to this village than anyone else in its history. It would make Konoha look bad, which is something you obviously don't want."

She leaned back in her chair." Do whatever you want, Danzō. I know better than to assume that we need to do some things that are not exactly legit, but it would be best that you think before you act from now on and refrain from doing any more high risk mission here or anywhere else without my say so. Otherwise… well… you are quite old. It wouldn't surprise me if you suddenly had a heart attack within the next couple of years…"

Shizune gaped disbelievingly as the elder left the room shaking in unbridled rage, actually slamming the door behind him as he left. "I've never seen or heard him react so strongly to anything anyone has said before."

"I can barely believe it myself." Tsunade mused as she sunk back into her chair. "It was like the words were flowing into me and weren't even my own after a certain…" She paused before glaring at the corner that Zuzushi was slowly appearing in again. "Another trick that Gods use?"

The lizard chuckled amusedly. **"Impressive. Not many would figure it out so quickly, even if they possessed the knowledge of my kind that you do."**

"Should I be concerned that you or the others are controlling what we say without us knowing?" Tsunade growled angrily.

" **Of course not. It would ruin the show if I did that frequently."** The dragon rolled her eyes. **"The best tales are the ones that you don't know what will happen next, after all. I merely aided you in riling up that foolish child a bit."**

Shizune giggled. "Danzō-sama? A child? Well, I guess anyone is a child compared to you, but… hehehe."

Tsunade also snorted as she no doubt assumed Shizune was picturing the old war hawk doing child activities and such. "Be that as it may, I don't like the fact that you can just control what a person says at will, much less myself." She stared at the dragon lazily. "There wouldn't happen to be some secret method for a human to resist being manipulated by whimsical gods would there?"

The dragon smirked. **"Silly, unaware human. You are asking for something you have already received."**

"What?" Shizune gasped. "You mean… I could have prevented experiencing my very essence being played with earlier?"

" **Of course. You didn't think that my servants were teaching you how to use Presence merely because it passed the time, did you? That it was simply a flashier version of basic killing intent?"**

The silence in the room spoke for itself.

"… **Point taken."** The dragon sweat dropped. **"Regardless, utilizing your Presence is far more useful for dealing with spirits, gods, elementals, demons, and other existences of the like than any of your excessively overcomplicated human techniques will ever be. When you punch, your Presence will enforce the phenomena known as a 'punch' that was caused by the existence known as 'Tsunade' and enable it to enhance its influence on more things. When you heal, the phenomena known as 'healing' enacted by the existence 'Tsunade' will be enforced by reality, allowing your technique to be more effective. Etc. Etc. The human theory behind it is more complex than that, but you will have to find out how for yourself."**

"Amazing." Shizune whispered in awe before attempting to establish her Presence and test out if what Zuzushi had said was true. For a moment, Tsunade experienced the sensation of a maternal creature standing next to her. Not strong or overwhelming, but experienced, kind, and protective…

However, an instant later a metaphysical wind came by, blew away the sensation, and left Shizune once more a shivering mess that spoke minor gibberish.

Zuzushi's mouth widened as she yawned lazily. **"Of course, it is possible to overwhelm another's Presence, but keep in mind that for the most part, the gods of this world do not seem to interfere much with the mundane issues of humans much. If all the current Kage of this world master and utilize their Presence to an acceptably high level, together they would at best be able to defeat a VERY minor multiversal god, and that is with a fair amount of luck on your side, so please don't have any ideas of trying to harm me. It wouldn't end well for you."** She eyed Shizune with disinterest. **"You need to meditate and train more, girl. A weak Presence like that won't even protect you from a mischievous minor forest spirit so long as it knows what it's doing."**

"Thank you for that piece of information, but if you don't mind, I recommend that we change the topic of conversation." Tsunade sighed as she got up and led her assistant to one of the chairs for her to sit down. "I don't think Shizune can handle being subjected to being played with higher level existences for the time being."

" **Few do."** Zuzushi sighed aridly.

"Why do I taste fear?" Shizune asked deliriously.

"Please tell me this isn't the reason why Crypt is so unstable." Tsunade sighed.

" **No…"** Zuzushi stated with certainty before pausing. **"Well… at the very least, it's not the main reason why he's the way he is… I think…"**

"That's it. I'm getting out the bottle. And no, you can't have any. You're bad enough when you're sober." The Hokage resigned herself to alcohol instantly.

" **So I've been told."** The dragon chuckled amusedly. **"Before you get too intoxicated, allow me to inform you of what Scabbard has reported on the jinchūriki's progress, as well as what you will inform your council about my clan's recent activities…"**

o. o. o.

With Naruto:

The landscape was completely changed. There was no other way to describe the utter destruction that had befallen the once empty and flat field that Naruto and Jiraiya were standing in calmly. There were so many craters, fires, and displaced patches of earth that a cartographer would have a heart attack if he was redraw the map of this place.

"You've gotten a lot better at Sage Mode, Ero-Sennin." Naruto grinned with yellow pupils and dyed red skin around his eyes. His clothes were fairly cut up, but otherwise still in decent condition.

"I couldn't get left behind by my idiot apprentice. It would make me look bad." Jiraiya snorted, also with yellow pupils and dyed skin, but with another extra wart or two on his nose as well. His clothes were fairly slashed up compared to Naruto's, but in the end, that was only because he was wearing more compared to the boy. If anything, the amount of damage he had on his person was less than the boy's. "I gotta say, you're impressing me, brat. Even though I'm still stronger and faster than you, you're holding your own pretty well."

The blonde laughed. "Don't bend the truth, Ero-Sennin. You're smiling because you finally have a chance to smack me around as much as you want now without holding back."

The elder man grinned. "What? Can't I be happy about both at the same time?"

Naruto responded by charging at the old man with his chakra blades extended. "Death to the old pervert!"

Say what you would about Jiraiya, but no one who actually knew the man could deny his adaptability and strength in combat. The moment Naruto had gotten close to the old man and swung his blades, the more experienced of the two raised his arm to block it and blasted out his Presence. Instantly, Naruto realized that he was not fighting a middle aged man using Sage Mode, he was fighting a massive and ripped middle aged man inside a massive damp forest with a metaphysical army of toads behind him that would follow his orders when given… and they were all staring down upon him.

And because of that, because of that man's overwhelming essence, he could block Naruto's blades with his bare arms and suffer only the smallest of scratches.

The blonde couldn't help but momentarily shiver in awe of his first real mentor. While he did master Sage Mode faster and easier than Jiraiya, the elder man was in far more control of himself than he let on. His years of constant meditation with the toad elders, conversing with toad and human alike, and his raw experience in the wide world made the man THE epitome of toad summoning techniques and mastery. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that everyone claimed that the old man still had trouble with Sage Mode, Naruto would have sworn that he was better at using the ability than he was too. Combined with his massive ripped frame and raw power, and Jiraiya in all honesty passed more as a Toad Commander, or a Demon Toad General than a Toad Sage. It really was small wonder that the man had mastered his Presence to a higher degree than his student if one were to think about it.

Still, this realization did nothing to stop the younger of the two from continuing his assault. In fact, if anything it only pushed him to fight harder lest he give his opponent an opening to turn the fight around completely. The two males were blurs to the normal human eye as they clashed repeatedly up close before separating and disappearing from view before colliding again an instant later a fair distance away, with neither one gaining ground on the other and repeating the process an instant afterwards.

"Not bad!" The elder sage grinned ferally as he parried another blow before shuffling to the side to dodge a second growing blade coming from the same arm and ducking below another swipe to decapitate him. "If you weren't such a midget, you might have even posed a threat to me!"

"Midget this!" The blonde roared as he spun and clasped his hands together to make the bigger wind blade that he had used to cut the Sanbi's water blast in half. The giant blade's mere existence heavily disrupted the air around it, and with it being swung so quickly, there was little surprise that there would be horrifically powerful torrents of wind trailing behind its path.

 _'Heh. He still hates the short jokes.'_ Jiraiya chuckled dryly as he saw the blade coming towards him malevolently. _'…Yep. Can't block that without losing something important. Dodging's out too with that powerful backflow. Gotta improvise.'_ Whipping out his closest arm, the elder sage instantly produced a massive Rasengan in the path of the oncoming blade and braced himself for impact.

It was good that he did so, as the two forces collided with fury. With both fighters forcing sage chakra into their attacks, it was little wonder that neither force exploded or fell apart upon colliding with the other. It also didn't surprise either when they experienced a shockwave strong enough to cause the ground to sink in a few meters from the impact even though neither male budged under the crippling weight they both underwent.

Yet through all it, neither of the two grinning humans of mass destruction broke eye contact with the other, pushing against the other with as much as they could… and suddenly forcing their cheeks to bulge instantly at the same time.

"Katon! Daiendan!"

"Fūton! Atsugai!"

The resulting explosion could be felt for miles as the two attacks collided at point blank range, fueling one another's destructive capability perfectly while rupturing and taking in the wind blade's and the large Rasengan's power at the same time.

"Whoahahaha." Jiraiya chuckled as he leapt back from out of the cloud of dust and debris, slightly scratched up but otherwise unharmed. "That was a pretty close one. I almost got hurt pretty badly there."

"That makes the two of us." Naruto grinned in a similar state as he landed nearby. "You really are a monster, Ero-Sennin. I had to use one of the clones I set up nearby to switch with me in order to get out of that, but you managed to get away without any ninjutsu."

The elder snorted. "Look who's talking. Thirteen and a half, and you're already a major threat to any Kage in a straight up fight if you bothered to go all out."

"Aww. You're so sweet." The blonde grinned as he took out a single shuriken and spun it on a finger. "How about I show you a new trick I've made."

"Why do I feel like I really don't want to see it?" The white haired man grumbled as he watched the normally borderline useless weapon spin faster on the boy's finger until it began to float above his head. His face scowled slightly as the teen make several familiar seals and instantly made the single spinning shuriken floating in the air turn into hundreds of spinning shuriken spinning stationary in the air.

"Okay… I admit, I am somewhat surprised that you learned sensei's shuriken shadow clone technique without me knowing." The elder man started off slowly. "But still, I don't see what's so impressive about…" He stopped in mid-sentence as Naruto's Presence suddenly flared in the air… and the hundreds of tiny metal stars suddenly became hundreds of larger wind chakra disks of death.

"… This is about the jokes I made about your girlfriend last week, isn't it?"

"Fly, my spinning blades of DOOM!" Roared the sadistically grinning blonde as the wall of wind chakra enhanced shuriken bolted forward towards the clearly unsettled middle aged man at speeds that far surpassed what any normal shinobi could throw at.

"Oh shit." The super pervert winced as he quickly made some seals. Putting the blonde's mastery of wind element composition into consideration, using any half assed shield technique would be less than useless against what was about to kill him. "Katon! Karyū Endan (Fire style: Fire Dragon Flame Bullets)!"

Three massive sage chakra boosted torrents of fire shaped into the size of medium summon sized dragons flew from the man and assaulted the onslaught of spinning shuriken from the left, right and straight ahead, eradicating or blasting aside any wind powered pieces of metal that were in their path as they barreled down upon the blonde teen already in the process of making more seals.

"Doton! Doryūheki!" Naruto shouted as he slammed a foot on the ground and manifested a mountainous wall of smooth, dense, black stone nearly fifty meters tall and wide with the elaborate heads of a fox, a toad and a dragon on the front before the entire thing was absolutely hammered by the powerful flames and once again causing an explosion that could be felt from great distances away.

Despite the power of Jiraiya's attack, it was not enough to break through the stone wall, or get even halfway through before it ran out of chakra and fizzled out… and made way for the attack's maker to finish the job with another massive Rasengan in hand and blast his way through the construct with ease to the other side…

Only to get skewered relentlessly from above as Naruto, standing on the side of his wall, produced several hundred chakra blades from his talons onto the area below…

Only for the blonde to get absolutely destroyed moments later as another Jiraiya with another massive ball of death destroyed the section of the wall the teen was on from the other side…

Only for this Jiraiya to be torn apart by a blast of air from below as another blonde teen emerged from the earth and let loose a large wind technique…

Only to flail wildly as he was slowly drawn back into the earth again as the dirt became a bottomless swamp that latched onto anyone and anything that was unfortunate enough to get caught in its grasp and disappear forever into its depths…

"Wow…" Naruto chuckled from one end of the top of the wall he made as he regained the memories of his clones getting killed in a multitude of ways. "We really do hate each other, don't we?"

"Who knows?" Jiraiya laughed as well from the other end of the slowly falling apart structure. "It could just be that we have a lot more stress to vent than either one of us would like to admit."

"Funny how you have more stress now that you're having sex with the old bat." The younger of the two deadpanned.

"Hey, it may have taken me a few decades and me actually dying once, but I finally managed to bag her in the end." Jiraiya shrugged with a grin on his face. "Besides, how many ladies my age are as good looking as Tsunade, eh?"

"Humph. At least you aren't a cradle robber." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I really would have lost respect for you if you decided to settle down with a woman half your age, you old bastard."

"To be perfectly honest, I would have lost respect for myself if I did that too." Jiraiya admitted dryly. "… I'm gonna miss you the next few years, brat."

"Same here, old pervert." The student smiled honestly back. "I'll try to get you something nice on my travels."

"Think you could get me a book on new interdimensional positions I can try on Tsunade?" The pervert asked hopefully.

"Sure. Why not. I heard that extreme female domination on men was all the rage in some worlds." The younger of the two deadpanned, causing the elder to sweat and shiver violently. "After all, that does seem to describe your relationship pretty well."

"Please don't. I haven't told anyone this, but sometimes Tsunade forgets to control her strength when she gets into the moment. I don't think the entirety of my torso can handle another bear hug of that magnitude again." The sage wept in terror.

"Eeexcellent." The teen chuckled evilly before pausing and looking down as the wall the two were on began to crumble more quickly. "Well, it looks like we have to get off soon."

"Looks like it." Jiraiya sighed as he stood up and hopped over to the blonde, who did the same thing as they met in the middle. "Hey brat. One last thing."

"Let me guess." Naruto yawned as he looked back at his master with half closed eyes.

""Exploding Shadow Clone."" The two said at the same time before blowing up and taking out the top of the giant stone wall with ease in a massive mutual kamikaze attack.

Watching the entirety of the giant stone wall fall apart gloriously from the edge of the field, the real Naruto and Jiraiya appeared next to one another almost instantly as if they had teleported.

"So, you're out of sage chakra." Naruto grinned in triumph. "Wanna go another round?"

"Nah." Jiraiya chuckled as he rubbed his neck. "I'm done. Eight Sage Mode battles is my limit for a day. I'm wiped, and honestly, I feel cheated that you can keep it up indefinitely."

The jinchūriki sheepishly laughed as he returned to normal. "Actually, I can't keep it up indefinitely. I just never bothered to tell anyone about it."

The elder sage blinked in surprise. "Huh? But how? You pretty much have first dibs on all the natural energy in the air! You actually made me take longer gathering sage chakra when I meditated because you kept all the natural energy in the air away from me!"

"I only control the air, Ero-sennin." Naruto explained tiredly, feeling the aftereffects of holding the advanced state for so long. "The Seventh Sense requires me to expel my chakra into the air and mesh it with the natural energy around me, but Sage Mode has me take a lot of that chakra back into my body. I can't do both at the same time…"

"And when you run out of chakra in the air…" Jiraiya quickly realized where the blonde was going.

"I am stuck with almost no chakra, not in Sage Mode, and no Seventh Sense." The teen smiled dryly, exposing the weakness of his otherwise ingenious work around at extending the Sage Mode time limit. "To be honest, that last trick with the shuriken took up all my focus using the Seventh Sense to work before I couldn't do any more techniques with it."

"Still, being able to go three hours straight in Sage Mode without needing to stop to gather more power is one hell of a feat to pull off." Jiraiya acknowledged firmly. "Even the elders would put you in the record books for something like this." He looked at the boy warily. "Though, speaking of your weaknesses, how long will it take for you to get your Seventh Sense back to full range again?"

Naruto panted slightly to catch his breath before swallowing some water. "Eh… maybe a day or two? It would be less if I wasn't exhausted, but that kinda comes with being in Sage Mode for so long. I gotta get my own chakra reserves back to a solid level before I can push it out again at a faster rate."

"I see." The elder man nodded understandingly before patting the boy on the back. "Come on. Let's get some food already."

"So long as we don't go to another stripper bar or a companion restaurant again, I'm all good for that plan." The teen smiled weakly.

"Aw, come on. You're mentally seventeen by now. Where's your yearning for the fairer sex?" The elder man pouted.

"With my girlfriend. Who, like yours, is capable of destroying my organs, and balls, with the slightest touch of her fingers. The only difference is mine is better at detecting lies than yours and is still under aged." The younger deadpanned.

"Humph. You just don't want to admit that the moment a beautiful woman shows a bit of skin, you lose all the will to fight."

"Excuse me for having to steal the underwear of countless women in hot springs before and then dodge their wrath at close range. I don't fight back not because I'm a gentleman, I don't fight back because I'm traumatized by the naked human female body when said body is poised to kill me."

"… Touché." Jiraiya admitted without shame. In all honesty, the man himself had been quite wary of the opposite sex for a fair amount of time after Tsunade's legendary wrath almost killed him painfully after he had peeked on her in the hot springs when they were younger. Of course, his natural perversion 'cured' him in the end, but then again, not everyone on the planet was blessed with the potential to be a super pervert. Hell, the only other ones that he could name off the top of his head that have or were capable of reaching that plateau were his Sensei, old man Ōnoki, and Ghost.

… And possibly some of his unidentified fans, but until he met them in person, they didn't count.

"Come on. There's a village not far from here. We'll eat there and spend the night at a hotel. Otherwise we'd have to hunt, or worse, ask Shima-baa for food…" Naruto shivered as he jumped rather slowly to the forest.

Jiraiya shivered as well at the thought of eating the elderly frog woman's cooking as he quickly followed the teen. There were some things in this world that he wouldn't force upon his most hated of enemies, save for the masked Madara and Orochimaru. Shima's cooking was one of them.

Said shiver made way for a small chuckle as he watched Naruto leave with a paper taped to his back saying 'Caution: rampant panty thief'.

Naruto wasn't the only one that was known to play cheap dirty pranks on occasion…

o. o. o.

A week later:

"You're heading out already?" Waltz asked Ghost as the latter was walking towards the compound's doors at a leisurely pace.

"Gotta. We kept the minion waiting long enough already. The more we stall, the less hell I put him through and the less prepared he'll be when he gets back." The blind man shrugged. "It was odd though, I thought I was going to wake up three days earlier than I did when I passed out."

The water elemental coughed sheepishly. "Yes, well, we can't all be mathematically correct after fighting an Elder god and a few million soldiers at once."

The wind elemental nodded acceptingly. "True, true. I can't argue with that. Still, I'm fairly certain third degree burns on my back were not one of the countless injuries that bastard inflicted on me when we fought…"

"What about Anko and Hana?" The elderly man questioned, quickly changing the subject. "Have you said goodbye to them?"

"If by 'goodbye', you mean 'had enough rampant wild sex with them to cover up for two and a half years absence'… then yes, yes, and oh fuck yes." The immortal grinned perversely. "They're still asleep in our 'playroom' right now.

"Is that safe?" Waltz raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you didn't break them with that much over such a short period of time?"

"…"

"…"

"CRYPT!" The faster of the two roared to the sky almost frantically, causing Waltz to slap his face hard in frustration.

"Liverwurst!" The once again insane man shouted as his head popped up in the middle of the floor next to his brothers, breaking a few floorboards in the process.

"Two 'fixing mind break due to gratuitous amounts of amazing sex' seals at once!" Ghost ordered in a commanding tone.

Instantly, with the sound of a cash register opening, a roll of paper with two identical seals unraveled itself from the half submerged man's mouth.

"Crap crap crap crap! Don't be up! Don't be up! Don't be up!" Wasting no time, Ghost ripped the paper from his brother's mouth and bolted towards the basement, leaving Waltz with his hand still on his face and Crypt giggling relentlessly.

Three minutes later, the blind sibling climbed up the stairs at a much slower pace. "Whew! Crisis averted! They were still asleep when I used them. Now they will think that all the crap we did last night was all just a horrifically arousing dreams that will haunt them for months to come…"

"And Tsume won't kill you for finding out you turned her daughter into a drooling sex crazed idiot." Waltz sighed.

"That too! …But they'll probably both still need some help recovering enough to be able to walk straight when they wake up though." Ghost warned hesitantly. "Sitting too."

"Joy." The old man grunted sarcastically.

"Heheh. Funny square dance walk across floor's imaginary hot coals of barbecue staples is funny." Crypt laughed childishly.

"If anything else, those two will never have an unsatisfying sexual relationship with you." Waltz sighed. "So are you asking them before or after things go to hell?"

"Before. It'll give them extra motivation to live when things get nuts." Ghost smiled honestly.

"Making plans before a battle is bad luck, but what the hell. It's not like luck is ever on our side in the first place." The old man paused before chuckling dryly. "Heh. It's been a while since I've seen you that sincere and relaxed about being with someone."

"I'm gonna miss them. I haven't been able to sleep so well with anyone in a long time." The blind man nodded quietly.

"Scab's going to be fairly disappointed." Waltz snorted. "He was making a killing off of the pills he sold to you."

"And now I remember that I need to get enough of them to last two and a half years." The leader pouted. "Thanks a lot, asshole."

"Anytime." The hairier of the two grinned before pausing as he heard Crypt chewing on something. "What are you eating?"

"Potato chips." The normally insane man replied simply.

"We don't have potato chips." Ghost raised an eyebrow.

"I read the chapter titles."

"Right." Waltz sighed, brushing off Crypt's answer as more of his insane rambling before going to Ghost and giving him a quick hug. "Later, brother."

"I'd go for the blow jobs. Cheese gives me too much gas."

"You too, bro." Ghost grinned. "Make sure the others don't kill anyone important while I'm gone. That's my job."

"Beware the coconuts! They see everything!"

"At least I know where the hell you'll be this time." The older looking of the two grinned. "Make the brat a monster of a fighter by the time he gets back, but just don't break him completely. He might be a Hokage after this, you know…"

"Might." Ghost grinned savagely as he turned around. "Who knows what will happen after all the crap in this world is over with? There might not even be a need for the Kage system after things calm down…"

"Given how things are going, it's just as likely that Elemental Nations will just get nuked by the end." Waltz sighed.

"Again?" Crypt raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Hopefully not." Ghost crossed his arms and put on a grim expression. "We're still on notice after the fifth time we screwed the pooch in that particular manner."

"How the hell did we even manage to nuke a medieval era world that had no access to magic or otherworldly powers?" The elderly man asked bewildered. "Scab and Shadow weren't even there that time!"

"Zel?" Crypt offered helpfully.

"Nope. Too far from his part of the Multiverse. He wouldn't travel out that far unless it was important. Plus, weapons of mass destruction are normally not his thing. Mind fucking is." Ghost replied before shaking his head and moving to the door. "Never mind. We'll talk crazy later. I still have crap to do before I leave with the minion."

"Have fun breaking another hopeful soul. Come back safely." Waltz waved whimsically as the door closed behind Ghost. Inside the house Waltz' expression became slightly more resigned.

"Hopefully things won't be too bad by the time you return, for the boy's sake..."

o. o. o.

Twenty minutes later:

"You know… I'm fairly certain that you were among the top of the list of people that were not willing to say goodbye to me." Ghost deadpanned as he looked at Neji stand in front of him.

"You don't sound disappointed." Said Hyūga stated in an even tone.

"If everything went as I had expected, things would be pretty boring, wouldn't they?" The Ōgakari reasoned. "How's your recovery going?"

"I still have half a year to go before I can do C-ranked and above missions again." Neji growled irritably.

"Right. One month now that the old geezer is back." The blind man stated with certainty, momentarily catching the boy off guard, and unfortunately irritating him even more. "What? The old man's power is still lingering in you from his recent treatments, and we all know he's good at what he does."

"Stop it!" Neji barked, his thin patience already waning as he glared at the man with Naruto's eye.

"… Can you be a bit more specific?" The immortal blinked in confusion.

"Stop acting as if nothing bad that happens in this world actually matters! How on earth can people stand you?! Even now, even after you let all these things happen to me and your students, even when we are on the verge of war, you don't seem to care in the slightest about anyone else's opinions on the situation and are just leaving without doing anything to help!"

Ghost remained quiet for a moment before raising a finger and opening his mouth to speak before Neji cut him off.

"No! Don't you dare talk!" The younger of the two snapped as he stepped forward. "Every time we have a problem, you treat it as if it's something childish and stupid that we shouldn't care about, even if it's a matter of life or death! You don't even care if one of us is permanently crippled! You just see it as another reason to make fun of us and make jokes! Every day is nothing but one humiliation after another! You even don't take care of yourself and don't care if your almost dead body is used as a prop! How can I ever take someone like you seriously?!"

Ghost's eyebrow twitched as he rose his finger again and took in a deep breath, only for Neji cut him off again. If the Hyūga had at all been paying attention, he would have noticed that the blind man wasn't even surprised this time, and breathed out easily as if he wasn't going to talk in the first place.

"You are a danger to everyone you come across! Anyone you gain the trust of will be at risk of your stupid jokes or you doing nothing to help them out when their lives are on the line! I'm surprised that your entire clan has as many members as they do! They must be as insane as you are to stay by one another if they know that you won't help each other when they need it the most!" Neji continued to rant with rage at the man, who seemed to be more annoyed with constantly being cut off than the contents of the ranting. "Even now, you aren't taking me seriously! I'm pointing out all your faults and questioning your very competence, intelligence, and loyalty, and yet you don't give a damn! How the hell can I trust someone like you with my life?!"

Ghost didn't so much as twitch before Neji stared again this time.

"And you know what the worst part is? You show no remorse! Not a hint of regret, sadness, or concern when we were hurt! Your own students, who were nearly killed! Your student, who lost an eye and was mangled so badly that if we didn't have Tsunade-sama, I would have been crippled for life! I could handle you and Shadow not doing anything when we were attacked if you had shown that you had cared about us afterwards! You were perfectly right in that decision, and if it was known that you were there when everything happened, we'd probably be at war now, but you didn't care about us! You just told us to walk it off, gave us some new techniques to study, and then left to get yourself killed for six months!"

The side road they were on was quiet for several long seconds as Neji breathed heavily from yelling so much and suffering from his still recovering wounds.

"Can I talk yet?" Ghost asked in a bored tone, clearly not nearly affected by the Hyūga's ranting as the ranter was.

The younger of the two grit his teeth and began to yell again, only to find that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't make a noise come out of his mouth. Activating his Byakugan, the teen realized that the chakra in the air in front of his mouth was slightly active, no doubt to mute anything else he was saying.

The Ōgakari smirked. "Finally. If you had kept on ranting, I might have actually had to consider interrupting you… in song."

The Hyūga paused and shivered. Even if he was enraged with the man, he was silently grateful that that had not come to pass. The only other time that Ghost had acted like he was in a musical… no, it's best to banish such horrifying memories, even if Shino's solo was astonishingly remarkable and soothing to the ears.

"Despite what I've done, and my bizarre reasons for doing them, what concerns you and irritates you the most about me is the fact that I can't seem to take even the most severe things seriously." Ghost sighed aridly before turning to the kid. "Out of all the reasons you don't trust me… you pick the one of the few that actually matters. You're sharper and more mature than people three times your age."

Neji scowled, but gave his elder a look that told him that he expected Ghost to continue with his bizarre logic.

"Hmmm…" The elder man pondered thoughtfully. "How should I explain this…" He blinked before pounding his fist into his other hand. "Ah! I know!" He grinned before walking up to the teen and smiling cheerfully. "I won't! You aren't ready to know yet!"

If looks could kill, Ghost would probably have been killed several times by now… but he would just come back anyways, so it wouldn't matter either way. The reason why the boy was irritated was fairly obvious. The man was doing exactly what the Hyūga had just been chewing him out for in the first place.

"Oh, don't give me that." The immortal snorted. "I said you're more mature than people three times your age. I never said you were mature or experienced enough for me to trust yet." He straighten up and put his hands on his hips. "A word of advice? Sort out your own life first before trying to figure out another person's. It tends to make things easier and make less people hate you. You obviously need more help right now than I do."

Neji's eyes widened momentarily in surprise before looking away in denial and shame.

"Oh no. Don't you dare deny it and pout like that. If you were a girl, people would peg you as a tsundere in a second." The blind man frowned and scratched his head frustrated. "Look, Neji. You are still young. Only fourteen. While it does seem a bit insulting, I will say it flat out."

He took in a deep breath and took on a lecturing pose. "You know jack shit. Nothing. Nada. You have a bit of experience dealing with the world. Actually, you have more experience in general than most people ever will, but you still know very little of just how much the world can really throw at a person. In fact, if you did say that you were prepared to live life on your own outside of the village, I would be required, as a responsible adult, to beat the living crap out of you for saying something so retarded."

"And before you even begin to question the idea, yes, I _would_ hit an injured boy with a good deal of my strength… and some ninjutsu on the side to keep things fresh."

Neji, being of sound mind and possessing an innate instinct for self-preservation, understandably took a step back while giving the man a skeptical and frustrated, but expectant look.

Ghost snorted and tilted his head to the side. "Isn't it obvious? Get older. Get stronger. Understand what the hell is going on in the world and how it works. Not just how to fight… that's Lee's and Gai's job. Do all of that crap while I am gone and then some. Then, when the minion and I return, think about what you are asking me today and if you should know the answer. If you still want to ask me questions then, go right ahead, but prepare to be disappointed." There was a brief pause. "You can talk now if you want."

Neji looked at his teacher skeptically before lowering his guard and looking him dead in the eyes, even though it was technically pointless. "These techniques. These lessons. You pretend to be my teacher, but then something like before happens right in front of you… and you don't even flinch and even brag about being there." He shook his head tiredly. "I don't think I will ever understand you, Sensei…"

Ghost chuckled. "That merely means that I just have that much more to teach you, brat. You may be in essence Gai's student, but I'm still somewhat responsible for your growth. Plus, it would be irresponsible of me to just cut off your training when you're so young. That would just be stupid."

"NOW you talk about responsibility?" The Hyūga's eyebrow twitched irritably as the man laughed cheerfully and pat him on his shoulder before turning to walk away.

"See you in a few years, Neji. I expect you to be a jōnin by the time I get back." The immortal waved goodbye before he paused, turned around and smiled innocently.

"One last thing though, please keep in mind that if you had taken that tone from before with anyone on my level of strength that actually did give a damn about how people addressed them, you would be nothing more than a bloody stain on the ground by now, skills be damned. In fact, a lot of guys act like I do just to get people riled up so they can have an excuse to kill others in the most horrific way possible." He shrugged casually before disappearing in thin air. "Just a small bit of advice."

o. o. o.

Under Konoha:

Danzō should have seen this coming. The moment the Ōgakari had returned, he should have at least halfway expected something of this nature to occur, but he didn't, partially because he was still fuming at Tsunade's comment earlier.

The war hawk would not lie, he was incredibly surprised and enraged that Tsunade would even hint at possibly the most sensitive moment of his life. His anger at the woman was only surpassed by his confusion as to how the hell she knew about it. He and Hiruzen had not seen eye to eye for years, yes, but even so, there was no doubt in his mind that his old rival would NEVER tell anyone of that fact about their last moments with the Nidaime Hokage. The monkey was too soft to do so… which he was thankful for, for once…

Homura and Kohaku wouldn't have done it either since they tended to favor his opinion over Tsunade's these days as well and respected his privacy, in addition to the fact that talking about the event was fairly taboo for them as well.

As for his old teammates… well, they met their ends at some point in the war for one reason or another. It was of little consequence, really. He never cared much for them, and the Uchiha would have died during Itachi's cleansing regardless.

His activities putting Konoha into great danger? Preposterous. He was responsible for taking out multiple terror cells and potential traitors before they even developed enough to be notable problems! Hiruzen would have attempted to lend out his hand to aid them and give them the benefit of the doubt, but he knew better. He knew that the trash would never consider Konoha as an ally, or their price for being one far outweighed the benefits.

He of course chose to ignore the fiasco involving the Rinnegan user in Ame, and his relationship with Orochimaru. The former was probably dead by now, killed off by Hanzō, and the later was killed by Hiruzen without telling anyone anything. All that left was that boy Kabuto, and even though he possessed a large amount of information from his countless years of spying, most of it was outdated. The boy was not a threat that required immediate attention.

Still, his anger at Tsunade's insolence and ignorance, and Tsunade herself, had absolutely nothing to do with the rage related to the state of his office when he returned.

Streamers, confetti, decorative signs, and even a cake occupied his normally mundane and former workspace, making it quite literally the most colorful and diverse room that was being used by any ROOT member.

And hanging off of the ceiling was a sign in rainbow colors. _Congratulations! You haven't fucked anything up yet!_

Oh, how he _hated_ the Ōgakari.

After briefly scanning the room with Shisui's Sharingan and seeing nothing with chakra in the room, the man quickly made his way to his desk and cabinets to make sure that everything was in place and that nothing had been tampered with. As much as he loathed to admit it, he was fairly certain that the foreign family didn't take or mess with anything he had. It didn't follow their chaotic habits and mentality, as difficult as it was to understand. They liked to draw things out. Play mind games. Confuse whoever their target was to no end before horrifically humiliating them down to their very core. Repeatedly, and at length.

And they were good at it. Oh, too good at it. This was the third time he had moved his office in the maze of tunnels below Konoha, and they had still found (and screwed with) it without any prior notice. Such ability was, dare he say it, terrifying.

Danzō had not been kidding when he had claimed that Konoha had the ability to destroy any hidden village they wanted in a preemptive strike with the Ōgakari. As much as he hated them, he also acknowledged that they were far too strong to be mere mercenaries. Hell, within only a couple of years, they had solved some of the largest issues regarding the village's clans and education system that he himself had on more than one occasion scratched his head at addressing. The Uchiha boy was more loyal to the village than he would have ever expected a few years ago, not to mention far more mentally stable than he would have guessed after encountering his brother twice, and the Hyūga clan's efficiency had more than doubled with the unification of the branches and clan techniques being taught to more of their capable members.

Regardless, there was no doubt in his mind that they were as big of a threat to the current shinobi system as Akatsuki was, only they didn't seem to have any sort of goal in mind other than to goof around, humiliate people in power, and train their students. If only he could harness their power to do some real work to benefit Konoha instead of all the foolishness they do on a regular basis… perhaps if he managed to get his hands on their students, or the two women that seemed to be enamored with the most annoying one…

Hell, if he was more honest with himself, he would have done those things just to ensure that they didn't sick that evil chicken on him again. Even seeing chicken on another person's plate for dinner was enough to cause him to shiver momentarily.

The feathers. Dear Log, they were everywhere…

His momentary DCD flashback was interrupted as he spied a scroll on his desk that was obviously not there when he left, evident by the flamboyant pink coloring around the edges.

The man didn't even hesitate in opening the message. No doubt it was the real reason why they had entered his office. The decorations and the cake were just their way of insulting him and showing their supposed superiority over him again. He would let them have their fun for now, but eventually he would even the score, and it wouldn't be in the form of a childish prank.

Opening the scroll carefully, the man scanned its contents. He could get rid of all the superfluous drabble in the room later… including the cake. He had diabetes, so he couldn't eat it even if he wanted to. He wasn't fond of sweets anyways, so there wasn't any real loss as far as he was concerned.

His eye narrowed dangerously as he looked over the message again and what the letter contained. If what they claimed was right… then this seal would… but at the same time… and yet they merely told him this and gave him this protection because it would make things more _interesting_?

Gritting his teeth hard, the war hawk rewrapped the scroll and put it to the side before walking out of his office again. "Clean it all up. I don't care where it goes." He ordered the hidden ROOT members around the doorway before making his way to one of his personal meditation and training rooms. He would need to think carefully about what he could and should do to turn things to his favor for once.

For now, he would have to wait… and hope that his men finally found Kabuto…

o. o. o.

Back on the surface:

"I thought you might be leaving already." Tsume grunted as she approached Ghost from behind just as the man was leaving Konoha's main gates.

"What is it with people cornering me today?" The immortal moaned. "First Neji, then Kakashi, Gai, Tsunade, then Sakura, and now you. Honestly, I thought I was supposed to be good at hiding from people when I don't want to be found." He began poking at the air randomly. "Is this thing broken? I swear, every time I pass out for a few weeks from a big fight, it's like everyone has somehow figured out a way to just pop up where I'm about to go without me detecting them!"

"You left suddenly while blowing up your home. You came back covered in wounds that could kill a man hundreds of times over. You always seem to know what is happening in the world. And you're dating my daughter." The woman crossed her arms. "I'm fairly certain that there are many things people want to talk to you about."

"You forgot to mention my devilishly good looks." The elder of the two stated in a dry tone as continued to poke at the air. "Maybe if I..." He muttered before wincing and holding his head in pain. "Ah, god damn it! Too much! Undo! Undo!"

"Like your wounds." The mother continued, letting the man's casual dismissal of her presence go for now, since it caused him pain. "Suffering from so many of those things and recovering from them so quickly is one thing, but to not even be phased by obtaining so many lethal and crippling injuries would cause some people to be cautious."

"What is it this time, Tsume? I wanna go torture and or train my minion now. You already know I'm a bit nuts. I thought we've been over this already." The man moaned as he fixed whatever was wrong with his Seventh Sense, though still seemed to be suffering from the after effects and stumbling like a drunk. "Also. Ow."

The mother glared at the man for several seconds before snorting. "I'm just making sure you said your farewells to my daughter."

"That's it? Rest assured I did that and then some. Then some more. Then a little bit too much. And then after I woke up I fixed my mistake before she and Anko woke up and justifiably killed me. Now if you'll excuse me…" The immortal turned to walk away again…

"Did you know they gave you a nickname in the Bingo Book?" Tsume asked warningly, causing Ghost to stop in his steps. "Anko and Hana apparently came up with it."

"Really!" The man smiled eagerly with sparkles around his head as the woman held out a Bingo Book. He stuck out his hands in a childish fashion. "Gimmie! Gimmie gimmie!"

"Page eighty four." The woman stated plainly as she tossed him the book.

Wasting no time, the blind man turned to the page and was met with a picture of himself drooling and a bubble coming out of his nose. All in all, not a flattering picture, nor was it one that would inspire terror into his enemies. "Registered A-class. Specializes in assassination, significantly high ranked wind ninjutsu, and rumored to practice time-space ninjutsu. Noted to be mentally unstable and criminally insane. Capable of extremely high speed movement. Teacher of the Feral Gale. Rampant pervert with a history of female undergarment thefts." He went over his general description before looking at his name. "Ghost Ōgakari. Konoha's…" He paused for several seconds before letting out a dry chuckle. "Heheh. Well, not what I was expecting, but I gotta say that it's quite fitting. Actually, I'm surprised I haven't been called that more often."

"So I'm right." Tsume frowned. "You really are…"

"So what if I am?" The man grinned. "I can prioritize, Tsume. I'm in no rush to get what I want."

"What you want would destroy my daughter." The mother stated angrily.

"What I want is still far beyond my ability to obtain." Ghost countered casually, as if talking about the weather. "Hana knows this better than you do, which is why she still sees reason to stay with me."

"Beyond your… what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Tsume asked incredulously.

The immortal shook his head and tossed the woman back the book. "It means that I trust Hana with my secrets and not you. It means that despite what you think you know, she still wants to be with me. It also means that you should butt out of things that are clearly none of your business." He yawned and turned around. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go before another asshole tries to keep me from leaving and humiliating the minion! I have plans, damn it! Beautiful plans of awesomeness and suffering! And cliffs! Oh, the schemes involving large natural vertical surfaces I have schemed and still have yet to scheme!"

"Ōgakari. Just promise me that you won't hurt my daughter." The woman stated tiredly, showing the years behind the makeup she wore. "Promise me on the lives of your clan that you won't let your stupid desires hurt her or do anything that could take her away from me."

Ghost paused before looking at Tsume with a deadpanned expression. "Are you an idiot? Why would I be willing to be so close to her for so long if I was just going to ruin it at any given time?"

"Because human beings are naturally idiots by instinct?" The mother replied just as emotionlessly.

"… Touché." The immortal admitted, though he was more knowledgeable about this fact than Tsume assumed. "But you can consider me an exception from that rule."

"You are going to have to clarify that for me." Tsume stared at him expectantly.

Ghost crossed his arms haughtily. "I'm not an idiot. I am merely a bit insane. There is a fundamental difference between the two."

"Which is?"

"Idiots don't think before they act and are incapable of accurately determining the repercussions of their actions." Ghost explained factually. "Insane people merely have different yet logical rules that they naturally run by compared to the social standards of their society. The truly crazy have fundamental rules that are so off they go against basic animal instincts."

"Like self-preservation?" The mother suggested darkly.

"Correct." The man nodded grimly. "Despite what you might think, there are many kinds of people that exist that seem perfectly normal, yet have horrifically altered ways of thinking compared to a normal human. In fact, a good number of the S-ranked shinobi in the world have some kind of condition that could be categorized as this. The terrifying thing is that most of the time they possessed this trait before even beginning any kind of training."

"Before?" Tsume blinked in surprise. "I know that many powerful shinobi have been pointed out to be a bit off early on in their career, but to claim that they were off to begin with…"

"You'd be surprised." Ghost grinned. "Luckily, I'm not part of that group that was born twisted, but I'm still far from normal."

"So I take it that there is more than one kind of way a person can be twisted?" Tsume asked warily.

The immortal shrugged. "Sure. I knew a couple of guys who could only feel satisfaction in life through doing actions that affected other people. There was one guy that truly believed that birds were the dominant being of all creation and denied his self as a human. Then there were of course all those idiots that try to destroy the world for one retarded reason or another. And don't get me started on that jungle tribe of women who believed that the male sex in essence was an unneeded mistake of nature. I mean, they were hot, but my god were they stupid, ignorant, and oblivious…"

"If they hated all men, then how did they reproduce?" The mother questioned warily.

The blind man paused for a moment before shivering and turning a bit green. "You don't want to know. I thought I could handle knowing. But that was a mistake. Trust me. For the sake of your health, you're better off forgetting that train of thought."

"I'll try." The woman sighed as she looked at him disbelievingly. "Still, it's hard to believe that you have encountered so many kinds of people on your travels before coming here, let alone can tell that there are so many here."

"Humph." Ghost snorted. "It's easier than you think. You just need to keep your eyes open for the right details. I've already pegged quite a few naturally twisted guys here in the Elemental Nations. As for who they are, I'll keep that a surprise for now."

"Goodie." The woman frowned. "You still haven't promised me about taking care of Hana. After all you've done for her, if you betrayed her, it would destroy her psyche. That goes double for Anko, considering her past with Orochimaru…"

Ghost looked at Tsume for several seconds before shaking his head and turning towards the gates. "Willingly dying for some cause or irrational belief is easy and fucking stupid unless it actually does serve a significant purpose, which in itself is horrifically rare. I'm talking about just giving up on living, not simply risking your life. Anyone who's lost the will to try and fight on can do it. If you followed that kind of idealistic bullshit logic, you'd have people dying to give a homeless man a sandwich left and right, or at the very least more suicide missions being passed out."

An instant later, the man disappeared, much to the Inuzuka's surprise. _"I thought I told you, I'm not an idiot. I'm just a bit insane."_

Tsume stood there with wide eyes as she felt the air around her pulse as if it was a heartbeat before flowing gently but powerfully towards the gate as if it was only the natural thing to do. Shivering slightly, she looked back down at the Bingo Book back in her hands, open to the page of Ghost's entry.

Ghost Ōgakari. Konoha no Kamikaze.

" _See you in a few years. Take care of Hana for me."_

o. o. o.

Suna:

Gaara was content.

He was not happy. He doubted he would be able to feel such a bright and joyous emotion until after he knew for a fact that Akatsuki was defeated and the great threat was gone, unless perhaps Naruto was around to keep spirits up with his amusing behavior. However, he was in a very positive mood.

The reason for his current state of mind was in front of him. Temari had gotten quite used to flying on Ramidreju and was alternating between weaving around fairly high in the air and briefly flipping around and sending massive violent blasts of wind down at the ground.

Likewise on the ground, Kankurō had progressed incredibly quickly as well as he expertly alternated between Karasu and Sanshō to attack and defend against his elder sister with surprising efficiency. While nowhere near as mobile as Temari, Kankurō had a stronger defense, which could easily handle most of Temari's wind techniques. As for the ones that were a bit too big, all the puppet wielder had to do was burrow deep into the ground with his mobile fortress and he was safe.

"They are progressing quite well." Chiyo nodded in approval next to Gaara as Temari had to dodge several of Karasu's poison laced projectiles in midair. Normally she could simply blow away such attacks, but her brother had recently tweaked out the launching mechanisms of his traps so that any projectiles fired would spin rapidly, giving them a higher resistance to wind and make them more accurate. "It makes me almost disappointed that they were not this strong the last time."

"Last time, we were unprepared and did not have the right teachers." The next Kazekage stated calmly. Even though he was not supposed to know, he knew for a fact that he was already being considered to be the next to wear the green hat. His recent demonstration of his control over Shukaku's powers only made it more obvious to everyone that he was the most powerful shinobi in the village. "You have been doing good work with Kankurō."

"Humph." The elderly woman pouted. "That boy has talent and works hard. I will give him that. While it is true that I have beaten into him multiple puppeteer techniques, strategies, and foundations, I can't take all the credit." She eyed Karasu's needle throwing mechanism. "The boy has occasionally been getting scrolls from an unknown supporter. They're all filled with designs and improvements for trap mechanisms and theories." She looked at Gaara. "Did you know that he's been training his lightning element in his spare time?"

"Yes, I have." The Kazekage nodded as he watched his brother cause Sanshō to rear back and breathe fire in the direction of their sister, causing her to retreat rapidly to avoid getting hit. "I admit, I am somewhat curious as to why he would do such a thing. As far as I can tell, the element would give him few benefits when compared to what he could gain from utilizing that time to improve his puppetry…" He paused. "That is, of course, unless those scrolls you mentioned indicated otherwise."

Chiyo nodded firmly. "I only had a brief glimpse at some of the traps that hinted at using the element, but from what I saw, they were revolutionary. Simple and compact, but immensely efficient and in one case incredibly powerful…" She chuckled brightly. "I have a guess as to who it came from, but regardless, it gives me hope again to see you young brats come up with so many fun things to look forward to in the future. If my grandson comes by again with that idiot clay partner in a few years, I may not even be needed this time!"

"I have a feeling that regardless of what happens, you'd still play dead at some point." The redhead deadpanned. Despite the light banter between the two, they both knew better than to just let Chiyo stay on the sidelines. Even with their knowledge and advanced progress, the fact of the matter was that Akatsuki was considered a major threat for a reason. A good number of the deaths on the enemy's side were due to flukes or the enemy underestimating their opponents. No self-respecting veteran would ever try to depend on something like that when dealing with an S-class criminal in order to win. To assume something like that was just sheer stupidity.

"Of course! Why stop with a joke that hasn't gotten old yet?" The elderly woman laughed loudly.

"It's as old as you are, you senile woman!" Kankurō roared from on top of his defensive puppet before he took shelter from another blast of wind.

Gaara sighed tiredly as his elder's eyebrow twitched. "My, my. It seems as if someone has yet to learn when to focus on fighting instead of listening in on other people's conversations." With a quick throw of a kunai, the old woman had pegged Kankurō's larger puppet's tail. The instant she had done so, the fingers on her right hand danced for all of two seconds, causing the back half of Sanshō to completely disassemble itself from underneath its owner and lay useless on the sandy battlefield.

"What the-?!" The younger puppeteer shouted in surprise before realizing that his sister had just attacked him again and abandoned his ruined fortress to avoid getting hit. "Son of a bitch!"

"Forced rapid disassembly." Gaara stated with some amusement. "Kankurō had mentioned it once or twice before, mostly when he was describing Karasu's ability to split apart, but I've never seen it used like that… especially on another's puppet."

"It's a rather tedious and rare skill, I admit." The old woman smirked mischievously. "It's pretty difficult to use and almost useless against an opponent that doesn't fight with a puppet or something of the like, but it has its uses at times. It also helps that I knew how the boy's puppet was put together in the first place…"

"I'd assume so." Gaara nodded as his brother took out his last puppet, Kuroari, to try and even the battlefield against Temari. "… I'm honored that you will fight next to me when the time comes."

Chiyo snorted. "Don't be ridiculous, Kazekage-sama. I should be the one to say that. You and that idiot friend of yours are the ones that reminded me of what really matters, after all."

The jinchūriki nodded as his siblings fought to a stalemate with Temari exhausting her chakra and getting hit too many times with Kankurō's projectiles, and Kankurō sporting several wounds from his sister's ninjutsu.

"I agree. However, he's no longer a fool, Chiyo-baa-sama. He has grown far more than any of us now…"

o. o. o.

In an alternate universe:

"Well, that was… different." Naruto coughed harshly as he landed on the ground on all fours and swayed momentarily, trying to get used to interdimensional travel. "Am I supposed to be tasting colors?"

"For the first few times." Ghost shrugged, not at all afflicted by the time-space jump as the tear in reality above them sealed itself shut naturally. "You get used to it eventually. Or go insane. Whichever comes first, but normally one comes soon enough with repeated jumps."

"Goodie." The blonde groaned childishly as he picked himself up. "By the way, who was that pink haired girl with the pigtails we passed on the way here?"

"Her? Oh that's just Madoka. She's kind of a little girl turned into a minor multiversal rule. It was sort of Scab's fault that happened. Long story. It's best if you don't talk to him or Waltz about it. Bad things happen when you do." The blind man shrugged casually.

"Right. More stuff that I would be best to purge from my mind. Gotcha. So, where are we again?" Naruto asked in confusion as he and Ghost stood on a vast grassy expanse that seemed to stop along a line a very short distance away. Looking up, he saw that the sky was fairly normal looking. Blue with a few sparse clouds. All in all, he was a bit let down… but he knew better than to say it. If he tempted fate, who knows what sort of hell would be inflicted upon him in a moment's notice…

Come to think of it, that small flower to his left looked awfully suspicious, now that he had a better look at it…

"A different universe… different minor multiverse, too." Ghost grinned. "I'll show you how the classification system works later, but for now, you would best served by simply knowing where we are by its name. While the universe itself is fairly standard, this particular area is special. It's called Land's End. It happens to be one of my most favorite places to train."

The blonde boy froze before shakily turning to his master. "Land's. End?" He asked warily before looking at the line where the field seems to just stop. "Do you have some kind of fetish for throwing me off cliffs or something?"

The immortal raised his finger up to respond before pausing an donning a contemplative expression, followed by several more that indicated that he was trying to figure something out.

"It was a rhetorical question!" The teen yelled in frustration and fear before paying attention to his Seventh Sense and noticing something. "Wait… holy…" He blinked in surprise. "What the hell is with this place? There's… not chakra, but energy floating all over. I can tell that there's some jutsu set up here as well."

"Hm?" Ghost snapped back to reality. "Oh, those. Yeah, this place has a bunch of spells and enchantments set up on the land that make it perfect for extreme training. Kinda surprised you can sense them, since they aren't fueled by chakra but a different kind of power, but now that I think about it, I have been on your ass pretty hard when it came to your sensory skills."

He paused before looking at the edge of the field again, then at Naruto, then his pants, back to Naruto, the cliff, his pants, Naruto, cliff, pants, cliff, Naruto, cliff, pants cliff, Naruto, Pants, Naruto, and then finally at his pants again. "… Nope. No fetish. Just sadistic satisfaction and glee." He nodded in confirmation.

"Huzzah." Naruto grunted in irritation as he walked over to the edge of the cliff. He couldn't feel the end of the cliff, so he assumed it must be pretty deep and…

There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom. There was no bottom...

There was no bottom to the vast expanse in front of him that continued onto forever, persisting infinitely beyond the feeble limits that could be described as sight and any other sense that a human being could possess. The air coming from the updraft carried with it the lingering power of something old… no ancient… no, not even ancient could properly describe this sensation. It was something that predated anything that he could or would ever be able to comprehend the age of, and as such, would never be able to accurately describe it in a manner that could do it justice. He would not live if he was thrown down there. That much was certain. Naruto Uzumaki? Kyūbi? The entirety of his planet? HAH! They were all inconsequential compared to whatever the hell was beyond the infinite drop in front of him that spread out like a sky below his feet.

"I see you got a good whiff of some of the nasties down there." The boy's master grinned carelessly as his student shivered horrifically and stumbled back onto his rear, no longer able to support his body due to the fear he was experiencing and crab walked backwards, clearly terrified.

"Wh-what the fuck, Ero-nii?" The blonde gasped and covered in sweat, having finally regained control over his lungs again, only to begin hyperventilating. "What the hell is this place? Please. Please tell me you aren't planning on sending me down there. I'll do anything you want. Just don't make me go down there."

The blind man chuckled and shook his head. "Like I said, this place is dubbed Land's End. That drop right there is a dimensional oddity that really does have no true physical bottom. As such, you could say that the farther down you go, the further from rational reality you get." He cracked his neck from side to side casually as if he was doing warm ups. "Lots of experienced dimension jumpers go here to test their skills. How far down you get is a good way to mark how strong you are and lead to bragging rights and such. Of course, the really experienced guys like me just go there either to study the anomalies that happen really deep down there or to practice one of our other crafts that are too dangerous to use anywhere else."

"Test their skills?" The teen squeaked out in disbelief. "Why the hell would anyone be suicidal enough to go down there, let alone see how far they can get?! Scratch that! How the hell do they even get back?"

The master shrugged. "Like I said. There's a ton of spells, enchantments, and alterations to standard laws of physics here. Whenever anyone dies over the edge, or suffers the rough equivalent physically or mentally, they just instantly pop back up on dry land here again in perfect health. So long as you started off from the top of the cliff, you will always eventually return here."

"Whenever anyone…" The teen whimpered out with an extremely pale face. "Oh no. No no no no no. This is WAY past the limit, Ero-nii. No. There is no way I am going to willingly go over that cliff. Fuck that. I am staying here. You cannot make me move from this spot. No way in fucking hell am I going."

Ghost looked at his student expectantly before sighing. "First time is always the hardest. Oh, well. Suit yourself…"

And with that, the part of the cliff they were on was slashed around them, turning the plot of land they were on into a wedge of earth. A wedge that was slowly falling over the edge…

(AN: Play Knight of Cydonia here, starting with the beginning of the actual music. DO IT.)

Naruto went pale white as he felt the ground beneath him shift. "Please don't tell me…" He whimpered.

"Okay!" Ghost grinned as they began to lean to the side. "I won't."

"Fuck this!" The boy jumped to his feet and prepared to bolt for safety, only for Ghost to hold him down. "What the hell are you doing?!" He roared frantically.

"You said that you weren't moving from this spot." The master smiled cheerfully. "I was just ensuring that my student didn't turn himself into a liar. Lying is bad after all."

"So is willingly killing your student!" The teen countered frantically as he struggled to free himself to no avail, and soon enough, the entire section of solid earth he had been standing on before was plunging into the abyss. "OOOOooooh SHIT!" He yelled as he felt himself loose the comfort of stable dry ground beneath his feet.

"Wheeee!" Ghost cheered as he had already separated himself from the falling cliff section and was falling head first with his hands in his pockets. "Hey, minion! Stop being a pussy and have some fun! Just make sure to watch out for the creatures that live alongside the cliff! They can get a bit testy when stuff falls in their territory!"

Now, Naruto wasn't NOT used to falling from ridiculous heights before. He actually was quite comfortable with it after one particular training session involving being teleported above the standard low cloud line in his home world's atmosphere… but this? Falling into an endless abyss that transcended time to see how far he could get before dying?

Yeah, it wasn't surprising that he forgot many of his previous lessons during first minute or two of free falling in favor of screaming his head off… until Ghost slapped him upside the head.

"Shut up! Here comes the first nest!" The casual master pointed down to where several spires jutting out of the cliff were coming up fast, surrounded by large clouds of dots…

Dots that were growing rapidly in size and ferocity as Naruto made out giant wings teeth and claws.

"Damn damn damn Damn Damn DAMN DAMN **DAMN IT ALL!"**

By the time the pair had reached the nest of giant carnivorous insects, Naruto had managed to work himself into a blood raged frenzy, complete with a giant Rasengan in front of him to destroy anything that came across his path and a Presence that indicated that he was all but happy at the moment.

A mood that was shared with the creatures whose home he was destroying in the process, no doubt.

Ghost, on the other hand, had yet to do anything really. With his hands in his pockets, the immortal wove in and out of the clouds of giant insects and spires almost lazily without even doing anything and barely being even noticed by the local non-human population. "Keep your head on straight, dumbass. You'll use up all your energy in no time if you approach everything here like that."

"Fuck off! I'm going to die anyway, so I might as well leave a mark!" The blonde countered angrily as they passed the nests and he turned around while making seals. Right behind them, a large swarm of the insects had gathered and was diving at Naruto relentlessly in revenge for what he had did, only for a majority of them to be torn apart by an overpowered Fūgadan that tore more than half of them apart in a single blast.

The immortal shook his head. "No one cares about how big of a mark you leave on the first twenty eight nests. I was hoping you'd at least make it past the twenty fifth on your first time here" He sighed and looked away towards the infinite expanse, ignoring his student's raging. The second nest would be coming up in a few seconds. "I wonder how everyone else is doing."

o. o. o.

( _Come, ride with me, through the veins of history…_

 _I'll show you a god that falls asleep on the job._ )

Zuzushi napped in the middle of a random field as she was assaulted from three sides by Hiruzen, Fū, and Kakashi, only for them to be blasted away by some invisible force.

They landed hard on the ground before looking at one another sharply. It seemed as if they had a long way to go before their Presence was high enough to touch the magic demon dragon goddess thing… while she slept.

o. o. o.

( _And how can we win? When fools can be kings._

 _Don't waste your time, or time will. Waste. You._ )

Sasuke, Tenten, Sai, and Asuma were raiding a bandit camp that supposedly had several shinobi in its ranks and had taught the other members some of their craft. It wasn't that uncommon, but the recently promoted chūnin in the team were somewhat irritated by the fact that their targets were somewhat stronger and more resilient than normal bandits and they had to be careful not to let their guard down.

Asuma put it best when he told them to treat them like Naruto's clones, only they were weaker and could take more than a single hit to down.

Still, that did not make any of the men there fireproof, slash proof, have enough chakra to last more than a few seconds against a lion, or arrow proof.

Tenten smirked as she rapidly fired insanely fast arrow-like swords at inhuman rates upon her targets from a distance while her teammates took care of everything up close. Asuma was taking things in stride while the others seemed to be putting in a bit of an effort to keep up with his kill count, though their totals were still quite impressive. Normally she didn't like killing so ruthlessly, but this particular group of bandits had been a bit too wild with their tactics after Orochimaru was killed. As such, she had no regrets about ending these…

CLANG!

Without even looking, the girl had adjusted her body so that Zangetsu, still wrapped and on her back, blocked a katana that would have otherwise cut her head in two. Spinning around to get the large sword on her back to push the opponent away naturally, the girl seamlessly unleashed three more of her projectile blades into her assailant's face, heart, and diaphragm so fast that it looked like she has shot all three at once, while quickly scanning the area behind the man as well to see no one there, before returning to face the village again and provide long range support while moving to a new position.

The girl didn't need to see her opponent to tell that he was sneaking up on her. The guy's stealth was horrible and he made more noise than Lee did when he was sharing an emotional moment with Gai. After spending log know how many hours training with Lee, Zabuza, and Ghost, the girl was bound to pick up a few tricks when it came to being stealthy and how to detect being snuck up on.

Seeing as she knew where the attack was coming from and that the sword on her back protected all of her vitals from behind save her head, she had long since trained herself to move in a way that would protect her from the only attack an opponent would make against her from behind without looking.

Scanning the battlefield again, the archer saw that Asuma had encountered one of the leading shinobi in the ranks and was fighting him one on one while her teammates took on the rest of the rabble with only minor difficulty… which meant that none of their opponents were actual shinobi… and thus…

She didn't even try any fancy combat maneuvers this time as she jumped away from a slew of oncoming kunai with exploding tags thrown at her by a very angry looking kunoichi wearing a scratched Kumo headband. Behind her, the forest seemed to transform from a quiet patch of trees to an inferno of shattered timber and flickering lights.

Landing on a large tree branch and gaining the high ground on her opponent, Tenten smirked as she sealed her bow into an array on her gloves before grabbing Zangetsu. It looked like she was going to get some practice after all…

"I am the bone of my sword…"

o. o. o.

An exhausted, scratched up, and irritated Anko, Hana, and set of grey triplets growled in frustration as they stared down a giggling and happy Crypt, complete with a Third Fang wedged between his head and one of his shoulders.

((Chorus)

_No one's gonna take me alive._

_The time has come to make things right._

_You and I must fight for our right._

_You and I must fight to survive.)_

The five females roared in rage and frustration as they charged forward at the insane man, who was swaying side to side. Four elemental drills tore through the sky while a slew of serpents rushed in the same direction on the ground.

Anyone who had never seen Crypt fight before would have been stunned by how he moved. Backflipping to avoid the first drill, the man dislodged the scythe from his head and neck, only to grab the shaft with his mouth and stab the blade into the earth, folding his body in half as he placed his feet on the shaft and stood up straight, emptying his sharp orifice in the process… only to lean back again as two more flaming elemental drills gunned for his body, hooking his legs around the shaft and swinging underneath the attack like a child before shifting his weight to dislodge the scythe from the ground again and float to the side to avoid the final Inuzuka as it passed him just as the shaft of the weapon embedded itself into the ground at a perfect ninety degree angle with its owner hanging on by his legs.

Not stopping there, the demented man with his bizarre pole dancing style let his torso fall sideways until his mouth once again met the bottom of the weapon and grabbed hold, then let his legs fall to the earth over his head as if he was some kind of human vertical slinky. The moment his legs reached the ground though, the insane man swung his upper body, scythe included, at the oncoming hoard of serpents, creating an invisible shockwave that destroyed them all almost instantly.

Anko on the other hand, was nowhere near the casualties when this happened…

(Chorus)

Suddenly, a massive flaming serpent appeared and arched towards the sky to the man's right side, hissing to the heavens as it gradually weaved itself in midair before striking at the immortal.

The grinning, laughing, and immeasurably happy immortal with bleeding lips…

o. o. o.

Naruto had long forgotten his earlier fear about falling into an infinite abyss and was now just utterly pissed at being forced to fight horde after horde of random, mutant, violent, and most importantly annoying creatures with little rest between each encounter. Then there was the fact that the farther they fell, the more oppressive the air felt to him, making it harder to breathe and concentrate as things went on.

"Come on." Ghost moaned as his student was slashing away the last of a brightly colored giant birds with sharp teeth and four sets of legs. "Don't tell me you're getting tired already. We're only at the fifteenth cluster."

It should be noted that the man had yet to take his hands out of his pockets and was still falling upside down lazily.

"You! No talking! I revoke your noise making privileges!" The blonde snapped angrily as the last bird on him was torn apart by his talons. He was covered by a fair number of scratches by this point, but it was nothing that his accelerated healing wasn't taking care of already.

The immortal snorted in amusement as he decided to play along with his student's wishes until something caught his attention. ' _Hoh? Now this is rare. Normally these don't show up until you pass the seven hundred mark... hmm… I should have probably told the minion that the order of the hive's order is always constantly shifting around due to the unstable reality here, but… nah. Let him figure it out by himself…'_

Naruto's first hint that something was going to go horrifically wrong was when he saw Ghost take his hands out of his pockets and saw a sword come out of each hand, connected to his arms by a long black chain each.

The second was when he could hear and feel the cliff edge nearby begin to rumble horrifically and violently, layered with multiple inhuman, unnatural sounds and waves of power…

The time between the first hint and when the giant stone black worm beasts the size of Manda with giant gaping holes that represented their mouths filled with teeth erupting from the side of the cliff right at them was roughly five seconds.

The time it took for the boy to instinctively draw out the Kyūbi's chakra he had taken from the beast, lose any and all rational thought, and bellow out a roar that pretty much equated to how unequivocally pissed he was at that moment had taken one point five.

The amount of time the blonde was swearing loudly in frustration was unrecorded.

The immortal couldn't help but raise an eyebrow and chuckle in amusement. He didn't know if it was because the blonde hadn't become some kind of idealistic idiot in this world, or because he still hadn't mastered himself and his beast, but instead of being covered in some kind of red ooze or a yellowish fire… thing when he accessed the Fox's power, the kid instead was enveloped in a burnt dark orange aura that seemed to magnify the definition of his body and the power he had, while still maintaining its traditional fox shape. It didn't change his physical looks that much from normal save for the red eyes and sharp teeth, but the results were unmistakable.

At least he didn't look like he was imitating Tinker Bell when he used the fox's power and glowing brightly all over the place. Honestly, she may be cute, but that pixie was an annoying little bitch if you spent more than an hour with her at any given time. There was a reason why no one went to Neverland anymore... willingly, at least.

Naruto's Seventh Sense was upgraded incredibly in this state as the teen reached out wide with his clawed hands and pulsed his Presence, causing multiple dots of burnt chakra to appear everywhere in the sky and around the giant worms…

And after slashing his arms down in one savage motion, the entire surroundings had been shredded relentlessly, worms and all.

"Heh." Ghost chuckled as he drifted towards his enraged student, not at all harmed by the boy's indiscriminate attack seeing as he knew how to counter it. _"Sloppy and slow to execute, and not to mention horrifically wasteful when it comes to the actual amount of power used compared to what was needed, but not bad for someone who hasn't been taught the finer ways of how to use War Scars… and completely ignoring all the effort I put into TURNING IT INTO A NINJUTSU FOR YOU!"_ He crossed his arms and pouted. _"Still, it's not like it actually worked… novice."_

Out through the cloud of debris kicked up from the attack, the horde of giant worms fell down through the air with raspy roars of anger, hunger, and wild persistence. At their current distance, there was no possible way for the blonde to get out of their range in time to not get swallowed whole.

It was a fairly basic mistake. Naruto's War Scars made slashes at most a few meters in width. The giant worms were almost two hundred meters in width and several times that long. Do the math.

Naruto swore again in irritation as the giant worms dove in and out of the stone cliff face like water rapidly and angrily charged at the source of the attack, at their prey. The beasts were massive and savage, but not completely mindless. They knew when something was too strong to eat and to just go away, and when a good meal was nearby, and the tiny thing that attacked them was brimming with power. It was small, but one of them would feast on it. One of them would savor it. One of them would…

That train of thought of the beasts was decimated as the second, tiny and nearly unnoticed thing that had fallen with the stronger sensing one tore them apart relentlessly. In a second, the ignored man had passed by the horde of creatures a near infinite number of times in the form of a black streak, tearing their massive bodies apart into thousands of smaller wet pieces the size of people that were soaked with purple bodily fluids.

"Calm the fuck down already." Ghost ordered the clearly angered teen, already behind him and twirling his chained blades on his arms at insanely fast speeds spraying what little blood had stayed on the weapons before catching them by the handles.

The orange glowing teen shot the man a pissed look. "Well excuse me for getting tired of being sent to die all the time and fighting countless monsters time and time again!"

Ghost groaned before slapping his student upside his skull. "Use your head." He turned around and stuck his arm out at the falling worm chunks above them and thrust it downward, causing the remnants to fly past them harmlessly. "Power down and watch. The farther you get, the more creatures are attracted to powerful prey."

The teen grit his teeth in irritation as he returned to normal and spied the meat blobs fall ahead of them towards the next hive of creatures… and for a good number of them to get assaulted by the creatures, this time an odd yellow jellyfish looking species that floated in midair. As weak as they looked, neither of them believed that the tentacles of the creatures were harmless.

A species that was too distracted by the easy meal to pay attention to the two humans that flew out of the way of the feast and passed with no issue whatsoever.

"I hate you." The blonde growled to his master as he made sure that they weren't being followed.

"You're welcome." Said hated man grinned as he put away his weapons and put his hands in his pockets. "Now fight like you're my student for once."

Naruto glared at Ghost irritably before clicking his tongue and relaxed his body. "… Yeah, yeah. Make your opponent look like an idiot. Moderate effort. Maximum humiliation. You don't have to remind me."

"Actually, I did." Ghost sighed. "Honestly, are you that stupid? Using such an underpowered War Scars against Stone Titan Worms? For shame."

"Shut up already." The teen sighed as he focused on what was below him, his temper reeled in again and his mind calming down. "Let's just get this over with…"

o. o. o.

(Chorus)

Tsunade panted as she leapt back from Waltz and took a defensive stance and grit her teeth. A moment later, the old man had appeared in front of her, swinging down his staff almost lazily and was blocked by the Hokage, causing the earth under her feet to sink as a small crater was made.

This could not be happening. This should not be happening. Tsunade couldn't understand it. When she had started her spar with the old kind man, he had claimed that he would limit himself physically to her level of strength and speed, so why? Why did he seem to be so much stronger and faster than she was? He wasn't even using any real kind of martial arts. Just a few shuffles here and there mixed with a swing or two with his staff, but despite the mundane movements he was making, he was completely dominating the fight.

Tsunade was NEVER dominated in a fist to fist fight. It was what made her so bloody feared by the rest of the shinobi world. Sure, maybe the Raikage could hold his own against her with his higher speed, but even he wouldn't constantly stay within arm's reach of her lest he risk being completely destroyed by her unmatched raw power.

"You have spent too much time in the office and doing whatever you wanted, Tsunade. You've relied too much on your power to deal with your enemies, and your other combat skills have waned." The elderly man sighed as he held his staff in place. "Your strength and speed are decent, butyour technique is horrific. So many wasted movements. So many glaring openings…" And with his staff holding down the woman's arms above her head, the old man lifted up one of his massive legs and jammed it into her stomach hard, launching her back at an impressive pace.

"This is why I hate training the supposed strongest people in the world. They never seem to be used to fighting people that are just as strong as they are when they do show up. Always so bloody sloppy…"

"I'll show you sloppy!" The angered Hokage roared as a massive boulder rose from the earth and flew at the aged man from the direction that she had just been sent.

Waltz rolled his eyes as the attack made its way towards him. "Really? Trying to use such an outdated move against me…" He grunted as he held out an arm and single handedly caught the stone before shifting his weight and making it spin around his body like a toy.

Falling shortly behind the flying stone was, predictably Tsunade, and because the old man had swung around the giant rock instead of blasting it away with a punch, she was now completely defenseless and in the enemy's range as her attack was turned against her and was smashed away violently.

The aged immortal sighed again as the woman landed a fair distance away. This was going to take a while.

o. o. o.

Zabuza grinned as he dodged and defended against the slew of ice senbon that Haku was firing at him rapidly while his adopted daughter in turn danced around the arcs of pressurized water that were launched in her direction at the same time. Both attacks did little but cause splashes in the underground lake that they were fighting on, the same one that had until several months ago held the complete Sanbi in place.

Using the lull in between attacks to gain ground on the girl, the wrapped man nearly teleported towards her location with his sword already slashing downwards, ready to cleave her in two… only to be stopped as a mirror instantly materialized in between them and held the sword in place by freezing the water to itself.

"You've gotten faster." Zabuza stated in a monotone voice, though to anyone who knew him he actually was expressing pride.

"That's not all." The ice wielding teen smirked as she quickly pressed the tip of the scaled spire on her arm against the other side of the mirror and out the other side with almost no trouble at all, pointing it straight at her master's exposed stomach and firing at least half a hundred needles into his body…

Which predictably turned into water moments later as another Zabuza cleaved the girl on the other side of the mirror in two an instant later and was torn to bits as the girl's icy body exploded into frozen shrapnel upon contact.

"Humph." The elder of the two snorted as he rose out of the lake smoothly with his arms crossed and his sword on his back. "You're starting to pick up some bad habits from that idiot brat, Haku."

"His methods are quite effective, Zabuza-san." The girl giggled as another ice mirror materialized on the lake and the girl walked out of it without any issue before it fell apart. "Amusing too."

"Humph. So long as you don't go crazy on me, I guess I can let it slide." Zabuza grunted irritably before they remained quiet for a few more seconds… and quickly blurred through several dozen seals at a lightning fast speed.

"Suiton! Onikame (Water Style: Demon Turtle)!"

"Hyōton! Senkenteki Kitayori Ryū (Ice Style: Transcendental Northern Dragon)!"

Mei Terumi watched quietly as the two tremendous masses of ice and water in the shape of creatures that were almost never seen by humans anymore hammered one another relentlessly, causing the underground lake to arc, twist, and freeze in place in multiple areas.

The Mizukage smiled, content. She could live with this. Even if these two were now Konoha shinobi, so long as they lived in her country and helped her rebuild her beloved village, she could see a bright future for everyone that actually seemed within reach…

The fact that her plans for the future had her in a wedding dress next to Zabuza were merely coincidental…

o. o. o.

(Chorus)

Shadow grinned savagely as she and Kimimaro dueled with blades at an insanely fast speed. The woman and the teen danced around one another expertly as their weapons occasionally clashed against one another for a brief second before they separated, though more often than not instead of meeting blades, they ended up dodging the other's attacks by minimal distances without blinking in the slightest.

Within six seconds, there had been three clashes, four feints, two neutral strokes, and seven strokes shared between the pair, yet neither one had moved more than a few meters. Their speed was to the point that normal humans would have trouble recognizing what had even happened, let alone be able to physically keep up with such a performance.

Kimimaro frowned as he realized that he had been cut once more at some point in their duel, this time above his right eyebrow. It was a strategic cut more than anything. Even though it would do next to nothing to his skull, the deceptively large amount of blood that would fall from it would impede his right eye…

Which is when the swarm of insects came from above and assaulted the woman and causing her to jump back and put some distance between the two fighters. The moment Shadow had retreated, Hinata had appeared next to Kimimaro and began to treat his head wound, knowing exactly what its purpose was.

In the meantime, Jirōbō, Sakon, Kiba and Akamaru had taken the offensive on Shadow in Kimimaro's place, combining numbers, speed and power to try and confuse and overwhelm her in the process while still being careful on approaching her.

Surprisingly enough, it was Sakon that made the first real move as he and Ukon punched their arms forward and unleashed several dozen minor wind blasts at their target, enhanced slightly by their speed and additional arms. Moments later, Jirōbō added to the combo by punching the ground hard, causing it to rumble and make it difficult for their target to get good footing.

Shadow, smile never leaving her face, was left with no other option but to jump, seeing as she could neither counter nor weave through the oncoming attacks safely, and as such was left open to Kiba and Akamaru drilling towards her from opposite sides. It was a perfectly executed combo, except…

Shadow wasted no time as she flipped her katana so that the tip was at the end of its sheathe on her hip and pushed it in in a very specific way, causing a high pitched frequency that instantly paralyzed the two Inuzuka in pain and break out of their attacks before they could reach her. The instant they got in range, Shadow had spun rapidly and gave them both a hard kick that launched them into Sakon and Jirōbō, blasting them all away from her at a high speeds just as she landed on the ground again.

Snorting and flipping her hair haughtily, the woman looked around casually and cocked her head to the side, staring at Kimimaro and Hinata from a distance…

And an instant later, she had already drawn the blade in a maneuver that would have made Mifune jealous in a seemingly random direction. The next few seconds were spent by everyone watching Tayuya's zombie like summons appear in thin air less than two meters from their target with a massive cut through all of them and then disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

The summoner of the creatures swore loudly from a small distance away and then glared at Kurenai, next to her, who undoubtedly had placed the invisibility illusion around the creatures and the muting illusion on Shadow in the hopes that they would have been able to get the drop on her.

"Not bad." The immortal woman smirked as she twirled the normal looking weapon in her hands. "You are getting better and are working together, but to be honest, I thought you'd still be better than this. I mean, it's been years since I last bothered to fight with one of these things…" Her eyes flashed as she spun around, ducked, and jabbed out her right leg into the stomach of Kimimaro who had attempted to sneak up on her. Hard. She heard the satisfying crunch of her twisting foot break multiple impossibly hard ribs before her blow launched the teen back so hard he had made a crater into the distant wall.

However, her attention did not stay on the boy for long as she noticed Hinata and Shino approach her from one side while Kiba, Akamaru, Jirōbō, and Sakon blocked her other sides. Tayuya and Kurenai had already disappeared again and she could hear a flute playing in the background…

Good. They knew that the damage she had given to Kimimaro was superficial due to his powers and were limiting her movements. He would probably be back in the fight in the next five to ten minutes without any help.

"Well, come on then." The woman grinned sadistically with her sword on her shoulder, not at all worried about her situation. "Remember, you just need to land one hit on me in order to eat tonight…"

o. o. o.

Everywhere around the Elemental Nations, people were training for the unknown fights that would determine their fates in a few short years, whether they knew it or not. In Kumo, the Hachibi and the Nibi fought savagely, tearing apart many small mountains and gaining the future ire of the Raikage.

In Iwa, the container of the Yonbi sparred with the granddaughter of the Tsuchikage, both spitting massive amounts of lava at one another, melting the landscape and setting what little plant life there was there on fire.

In Kiri, the next generation of the Seven Swordsmen trained hard in order to gain the acknowledgement of their teachers… and to ensure that they would not ever get their asses handed to them so horrifically in front of their betters again as well. Clones were pierced, electrocuted, bisected and hammered out of existence as the legendary weapons became more familiar with their new wielders…

In Konoha, the members of the next generation of Konoha's shinobi trained hard. The air echoed as the Hokage's apprentice punched the pitless wall made from the Black Deer. Two males in green danced around one another, engaging in taijutsu battles that few in this world could match. A young boy that could manipulate his body sparred with his girlfriend, a girl that could play with other people's minds. A teen that had lost half of his birthright was slowly sparring with his teammate, a girl whose body had been sacrificed by her master…

In Suna, puppet masters danced with their fingers, and a sandstorm incarnate pushed and pulled on a seemingly eternally flying fan…

The world was preparing for a war to come.

Whether it would be the war it expected was still to be determined…

o. o. o.

Naruto gasped for air as he landed on his side on the top of the grassy cliff again, shivering as the phantom pains of getting caught up in his own attack racked his body. "Argh! That! Freaking! Ow!" He twisted, not liking the sensation he was experiencing in the slightest."

"Woot!" Ghost laughed as he landed on his back next to his student. "Now that was going out with a bang! I never get used to seeing that trick of yours in action. Haha!"

"Shut up!" The blonde hissed. "Unlike you, I'm not used to having my body getting torn apart from every direction at once while stabbed at the same time!"

"Touchy." The man grinned as he picked himself up. "So you made it to around the twenty fourth layer. Not bad for a rookie that had no idea what he was doing."

"Not bad, he says." Naruto grumbled as he held his head and stood up. "I practically nuked a giant dragon thing that spewed out giant eyeballs from its body that shot lasers from said eyes, and he says not bad…" The boy paused as a rumbling echoed from the depths of the cliff caused him to shudder a small bit. "… Okay, maybe everyone did have a point when they told me that that move was a bit overkill…"

"So how are you feeling?" The master asked a bit more casually as he walked over to his student. "Other than the phantom pains, of course. Full health? Full chakra? All of the voices in your head all there?"

"I'm still a bit off balance, but yes, yes, and they all want to kill you as badly as I do right now." The teen sighed as he stood up and shook his body like a wet dog. "Ugh. That was without a doubt the most messed up training session I have ever had."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You're going to throw me back down there, aren't you?"

Ghost's horrifically terrifying and demented slasher smile and brightly glowing sunglasses spoke for themselves.

"You sick mother…" Naruto began to swear angrily before an invisible pulse of air blasted him over the cliff's edge followed by a second one that forced him down the face at near terminal velocity, screaming bloody murder the entire way until he was out of hearing range.

The immortal man chuckled lightly at his student's misery before collapsing on the grass again with a small grunt. Considering how the blonde had done this time, and considering that the creature that the kid had nuked was technically normally something that didn't show up until the post nine hundred layers, he was fairly certain that the jinchūriki would probably reach around the seventieth layer of reality during his fourth or fifth drop down the day. After that, well, the kid would deserve a break…

The immortal man winced as part of his body momentarily contorted on itself and warped into several splintered appendages before changing into the upper torso of a rotting marsupial that had no human name, before changing again into a crystal that was cracked in multiple places, before finally returning to normal.

Damn elder gods were always a pain in the ass to take down. Bastards didn't have the ability to kill him, unfortunately, but they could still twist his mind, body, soul, and existence into something that hurt like fuck if he wasn't careful…

And despite what most humans would assume, having your soul and existence twisted like a plaything was FAR more painful than say, jumping in a vat of highly corrosive acid or having all of your pain receiving nerves set off at once. Or both at once. Ghost could attest to that personally.

"Looks like I didn't get rid of all of that bastard's influence before I passed out." The man sighed as his body slowly emitted black embers, slowly burning away at the man's existence in order to get rid of the unwanted influences that still plagued the body. "He never did say why he was trying to free the asshole. Oh, well. Couldn't have been important…"

o. o. o.

In an unidentifiable location:

A man wearing a mask with one eyehole frowned as he laid down on a table with his shirt off. "How much longer do you expect this to take, Sasori?" He asked in an even tone.

A young looking man with red hair frowned momentarily, looking up from his patient's chest. "Like I have said. This is a complicated situation we have here. From where we are, at best I would give you two years before I would be able to turn this into something useable. It's not every day that something this big and complicated is misapplied and turned into something completely new. Even though I value time heavily, this is not something that can be rushed."

The patent's lone Sharingan narrowed. "Then get on with it." He ordered, momentarily looking at the seal on his chest that had remained from his encounter with the Yondaime Hokage. "I have waited many years for everything to fall into place. A couple more will not hurt…"

o. o. o.

With the Mad Scientist's Assistant:

Kabuto sighed to himself for what seemed like the hundredth time since he had stationed himself in another one of Orochimaru's bases, this one in particular being the one the snake had set up for him in particular. No one but he and his master knew of this place. Those who had physically made it were dead, and the ones that took care of it were heavily altered in the brain to be incredibly loyal to their tasks in exchange for having almost no combat potential…

"Ah, what a mess I've found myself in, Orochimaru-sama." The young man muttered to himself, looking at the materials on his desk in front of him. "Danzō wants me. Akatsuki wants me. Konoha wants me…" He paused before turning around. "And apparently a new party has decided to join the fad as well. I'm somewhat surprised. I didn't think that anyone would find me this soon, let alone this base."

Walking out from the shadows of the doorway, Scabbard Ōgakari casually strutted forward into the light with a bored look on his face. "All one has to do to find anything in the world is simply look in the right places."

"How very true." The silver haired teen nodded. "So, what is it that you want? Orochimaru-sama's research? Jutsu? His secrets? The secrets that he has found from others?" His glasses flashed dangerously. "Or are you here for me?"

The immortal snorted. "At least you are willing to get to the point." He continued to walk to the boy, despite the obvious fact that it was dangerous to do so, and that the Kabuto in front of him was most likely a decoy. "I am here for two things, both of which I believe will interest you greatly for what they entail."

"Oh?" The medic asked warily. "And what would those be?"

Scabbard's gaze lazily left the boy in front of him and rested on a very particular scroll on the desk behind him. "Future business…" His gaze then turned a bit to the side…

To see the slightly mangled, but clearly distinct mummified hand mounted like a trophy.

"And entertainment."

o. o. o.

A Preview of the post time skip saga: Take Two Round Two:

"No! Sensei! NOOOOO!"

"What the hell do you mean he isn't coming back yet?"

"And this is why we never let Crypt do expositions. Ever."

"Akatsuki did what?"

"Well, this sucks. They already have three of them?"

"They're coming here next. It's best to prepare for the contingency plan."

"Why the hell did they pick him to be the proctor for the next exam?"

"I knew it! You DO have your… wait… how the hell do you remember everything?"

"We are all in agreement? Naruto is forever banned from being near any form of volcano ever again."

"Hold on… there are four of them here? SHIT!"

"Come on, Chōji. Come on, Shino. Come on, Tenten. It's time you had your 'Naruto's mission of horrific disproportion' cherry popped."

"How the hell did I suddenly get three girls trying to kill the others over me when I wasn't looking? Ero-nii! Stop laughing, damn it, and help me out here!"

"And thus the sanctity of the dead gets violated horrifically, like half the populace of an S&M club that doesn't check its members for STDs, only with less sexy and more violent deaths. Eh. At least there isn't any zombies this time. They're wet and they smell. It sucks having wet smelly opponents. It takes forever to get that shit out of your clothes."

"… I am surprised. I didn't think that anyone other than Kisame and Zetsu knew of my true identity…"

"That's it! I've been patient enough! You've just earned yourself a one way trip to getting your ass destroyed with one of the attacks I'm technically allowed to use!"

"Yeah, about that… I shouldn't say this, but technically the minion's strongest move has… theoretically… enough power to destroy a small country. Not exactly the kind of move that a protector of peace is supposed to have, I know, but… well… when we thought about it, it just seemed too awesome to pass up. And let me tell you, mass destruction aside, it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen... blindness taken into account."

"Let's see. Three Sharingan users, a Byakugan user, and a Rinnegan user. Jiraiya and Konan aside, I'm fairly certain that Orochimaru would have a hard on if he got a picture of you guys together."

"Again! Damn it! I'm getting really tired of people using my techniques on me here!"

"Motha fuckas can't stop meeeeee! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!"

"What happened to you? Why can't I feel anything for you?"

"The hell? Five hearts?"

"So that's the Jūbi, huh? … Not bad."

o. o. o.

Somewhere in the Land of Wind:

"You heathenistic little cunt!" Hidan's head ranted spastically as it was tossed onto the hot sand, completely unaware of the red stains that were extending out for miles in every direction. "You think you have won, but I swear that Jashin-sama will avenge me! Do whatever the fuck you want! In the end, I will just come back and bite you to death, sacrificing your weak ass soul to my god!"

"Is that right?" The red and black man towering above the head grinned as his arms freed themselves and lazily twirled the massive red bladed scythe in one hand. "This oh so powerful god of yours will avenge you and beat me down into a thick paste?"

The senseless head grinned with savagery. "Oh yes, you fool. Make no mistake, your soul is nothing compared to Jashin-sama. One day, you will bask in his glory and you will realize how tiny you are compared to him as he tortures your soul as his plaything."

"Sounds like fun." The demonic man grinned even more as he gently pushed the base of his weapon into the sand… and instantly lit up the seemingly endless lines of seals that extended for far longer than Hidan could see.

"What the fuck are you doing?" The head asked, not scared but somewhat unnerved as he saw the seals closed to him glow and change constantly.

Crypt Ōgakari grinned happily as a pair of demonic wings extended from his back, the membranes secreting a small amount of blood that dripped periodically from the tips on the bottom.

"Calling your bluff."

o. o. o.

A/N:

And DONE! My god, this took me forever to finish.

So that's it. YAWALEH is done. The post timeskip continuation, Take Two Round Two, won't be up for a while, since I will be focusing on From Fake Dreams.

I WAS going to post this with the next chapter of FFD, but it was so huge that I didn't want to drive people nuts by trying to make them read them both on the same day.

Not bad for my first fanfic, eh?

You know how sometimes in movies and tv shows, a nerdy guy at a desk job suddenly gets shoved a massive instruction manual on how to use an expensive piece of equipment by his boss and tells him that he needs to memorize the entire thing in a week? Yeah. I got two of those at once a few weeks ago. It sucked. Hard.

Cheesy I know, but I really would like to thank anyone and everyone who supported and enjoyed my work on this fic. Originally I did it just to kill time, but after a while I enjoyed continuing on with the story, filling out the Ōgakari into who they were, and making this tale far more interesting than I had originally anticipated for you guys. Many of your reviews and supporting comments were a great motivator to keep me going on this.

I would also like to thank everyone who had gone out of their way to make fanart for this fic and give further life and depth to not only the story, but my characters as well. You guys have as much to add to this as I did.

I will be doing some minor editing on the earlier chapters so that it's easier to read them and so several sloppy mistakes can be cleaned up, but otherwise, I'm not doing any retconning or major changes to the story.

So I guess that's it guys. Until I continue on with this storyline, it will have to be put on the side so I can finish From Fake Dreams. Read it if you haven't already. It's just as good as YAWALEH if not better if what other people have claimed is true.

And for future reference about the manga and Orochimaru: Kishi has lost all my respect as an author. He has no sense of logic or continuity. Orochimaru, while a good character, is not some magical plot device that just shows up whenever it seems convenient and know everything because of some retarded deus ex machina. You have completely ruined the enjoyment of the plot and the manga. I hope you are happy.

So anyways. That's it. Look up and review the fanart we have collected so far on deviantart. Just search "third fang" in the groups. It's good stuff, and the authors deserve a good bit of credit for their work.

Also check out the TVtropes page and add stuff there. It's pretty fun to look at from time to time.

REVIEW! WORSHIP THE LOG! PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR READING THIS ENTIRE MASSIVE STORY! AND REVIEW AGAIN! THANK YOU VERY MUCH EVERYONE! IT'S BEEN AN HONOR TO HAVE YOU AS READERS!


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